#(i might come back to write more for jjk tho!!)

[vagabond-umlaut]

i can finally lay my time with jjk to rest

[jeonqkooks]

our beloved summer | jjk (07)

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, swearing, mentions of oc's mother because we know girlie is hella traumatized, mentions of drinking, mentions of an almost physical fight, abandonment issues, jk forgets to practice safe driving for 2 seconds, and uhmmm kissing 🤫, anddd that cliffhanger? 👀 rating: 18+ (minors dni) word count: 10.8k note (1): this is the longest it has taken me to update obs and i do feel pretty guilty about that. but it's finally here now and this is one of the chapters that i'm the most nervous about posting. massive thanks to @daechwitatamic and @/wintaerbaer (edited 2024: crossed out but not removed bc even tho she plagiarized obs afterward, she did beta this for me so i guess i still gotta give her that lmfao) for beta-ing this for me or else i would've screamed cried thrown up and scrapped the whole thing, and to @jeonwiixard for being a wonderful cheerleader as i was writing this, and to everyone in my beloved obs discord server for always being so sweet and kind and putting a smile on my smile every day since the server was created. also to my sunshine ☀︎ for introducing me to the song mentioned below bc HELLO is it not just one of the most obs coded songs ever. love you all my babies <3

series masterpost / playlist ; moodboards ; taglist join our OBS discord server ✨

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Somewhere in the multiverse There's a me and you that works We never fuck it up We're out there still in love Somewhere in the multiverse Maybe that's enough

multiverse - Maya Manuele ft. PEMRBOKE

Sometimes, whenever you look up at the moon at night, you wonder if Jungkook is doing the same thing.

Even when you fall out of love with someone, it still hurts. It hurts because you once loved them so much it felt like the sky would collapse if you couldn’t be with them. It hurts because the love wasn’t taken from you, but rather it started slipping away on its own, more and more each day until you realize you’re holding onto nothing when there once was everything.

You can’t say that you’re too familiar with that kind of hurt though. You’ve never fallen out of love before.

You don’t think Jungkook is too familiar with it either, at least not when he left you.

You wonder if he thinks about you from time to time and gets sad. You think he does, because you know that he loved you. Something ended for him too. The memories that you shared were his memories too.

You hope that it’s painful for him whenever thoughts of you cross his mind, because that would mean that he cares. That a part of him still cares.

And if he still cares, then he might come back.

Despite the front that you try to parade around, there is a part of you that will always leave your heart vacant for him, regardless of whether or not he would return. It’s a scary thought, one that you would rather avoid at all costs, one that says there will be no one that you love more than you loved Jungkook. Maybe there can’t be another person that you will love at all.

You can come back quietly, like the wind slipping through the crack I leave in the window at night; or you can announce your return resoundingly like a sudden downpour quenching the summer heat. I don’t care. I kept your side of the bed empty and warm, waiting for you to come back. Hoping that you would come home.

[08:47] Yoongi: sure you don’t want me to drive you there? [08:48] Yoongi: i can pick you up in 30 [08:52] You: positive 🤧 i told you i already booked the train. it’s only 4 hours away [08:53] You: i’ll survive, yoongs [08:55] Yoongi: did you not watch Train To Busan? [08:56] You: ? [08:57] Yoongi: what if there’s a zombie apocalypse [09:00] You: yoongi if there’s a zombie apocalypse, how is your CONVERTIBLE supposed to keep me safe [09:01] Yoongi: i’ll put the roof up [09:02] You: stop talking [09:02] You: please stop talking. [09:03] Yoongi: 😡😡😡 [09:03] You: 😇 [09:03] You: gotta get dressed now though. i’ll see u when i get back? :) [09:05] Yoongi: fine [09:06] Yoongi: safe travels. text me when you get there :)

You plop onto your bed with a sigh, glancing at the bag that’s already packed and sitting near your wardrobe, lonely. You stay like that for a while, contemplating whether or not you should bail at the very last minute.

It was not on your bingo card that you’d be here, agonizing over your ex-boyfriend’s brother’s wedding. Nope. Absolutely no one saw it coming.

For fuck’s sake, why would they invite you to a wedding? A celebration of love? It feels like you’re being forced onto a prank show, just waiting for someone to jump out and scream in your face.

You learned that the wedding was for close friends and family only, so it would be a relatively small event, which makes it even more confusing why you were also asked to join. Maybe the world is changing too rapidly and you’re just a little old-fashioned for it, but you really don’t understand why your ex-boyfriend’s family would want you there.

Taehyung and Jimin were invited too; they’re Jungkook’s best friends after all. They’re practically an extension of the family, Jungkook’s brothers by choice. But Taehyung doesn’t come back from his work trip until the day of the wedding, and Jimin… Well, he just doesn’t want to go to a Busan wedding in the middle of winter.

So why are you even going?

You could’ve declined. Said you couldn’t attend because the invitation came in so late. Made up a work trip or a family emergency. There’s a plethora of excuses you could’ve used.

Or you could’ve simply said no. That would’ve been perfectly fine too. No one would even need to ask why.

But maybe it was because his mother had customized the invite with her own handwriting in the back. You would’ve missed it if you hadn’t spent hours meticulously studying the card like someone was going to quiz you. It wasn’t anything special - just We hope to see you there - but you think you’d feel really bad to decline after she’d made the extra effort to ask you to come.

When you told Yoongi that you would be attending Jungkook’s brother’s wedding, he didn’t seem upset. Still cool as a cucumber. Although if he was bothered by the announcement, you don’t think he would’ve let it show. It did take him a minute to take it in, but then he just pecked your cheek and asked if you could bring a plus-one. You both knew that you wouldn’t even if that was an option.

Pushing your body off the bed, you drag yourself to the bathroom to splash some water on your face. Then sunscreen. Then change into the clothes you’d already picked out last night. Your train doesn’t leave for another hour and fifteen minutes, but you want to be there at least twenty minutes early just in case. This is one of your only good habits.

You rub your eyes when you finally haul yourself outside, thinking you must still be dreaming because what is Jungkook’s car doing here?

You blink a few times, expecting the vehicle to disappear in a puff of white smoke.

Spoiler alert: It doesn’t.

The car is in front of you, but the man is nowhere to be found.

You stand there dumbfoundedly, contemplating whether you should wait it out for a little bit to see if he’s actually here. He comes running up to you a couple minutes later, holding two paper cups in his hands, one of them a chai latte. A memory you’d buried long ago comes rushing to the surface. It’s too early for you to be feeling.

“Hi,” he says, his warm breath coming out in a huff of smoke in the crisp morning air.

“Hi?” you mutter dumbly when he trades the bag in your hand for the drink. There’s a moment where you’re genuinely baffled, wondering if this is a memory reel playing right before your eyes. This is your Jungkook, wearing that same old smile whenever he used to come bounding up your dorm building so you could walk to the library together, where he would hang out with you during your shift if he didn’t have classes. “What are you doing here?”

You don’t remember telling him what time your train was, so he’d probably badgered it out of Taehyung or Jimin somehow.

“I thought I could drive us there,” he says. “I texted you about it.”

Well, that explains it. You don’t bother with his dozens of messages anymore. “Oh, uhm, I already booked the train.”

This doesn’t seem to faze him at all. “Free cancellation up to 15 minutes before departure.” Jungkook grins, clearly eager despite your obvious reluctance. It’s too early for this, whatever the hell this is.

When you told him that you had RSVP’d yes to the invitation, he was surprised that you even knew about the wedding. He even seemed nervous that day.

“What if I’d already left?” you ask.

He blinks, then stammers like a confused child. It’s cute, and you have to mentally slap yourself over the head for even thinking that.

“Then I’d go after you.”

How? you scoff internally. Unrealistic.

Regardless, not even an hour ago, you were declining Yoongi’s offer to drive you there. Now, you’re standing here, in front of your ex-boyfriend, contemplating whether or not you should go with him.

“Let’s go,” he says after a minute. “We don’t wanna be stuck in traffic.”

“I haven’t said yes.” Yet. “It’s a 4-hour drive.”

You don’t have to clarify what you mean. He understands it.

You both just stare at each other for a moment, the tension suddenly thickening with every passing second. Four hours on the road. Four hours alone in a car with Jungkook. That’s about two hundred minutes more than you think you can handle.

It’s like he can see right through you. “Don’t think about it,” he says, voice dropping lower. “It’s just a weekend. Everything will still be here for you to think about when we get back.”

In your head, it translates to: All of our shit will still be here when we get back. You can keep being mad at me then.

You hope that’s not true. You hope that when you get back, the things that keep you up at night will simply cease to exist. That in the two days you’ll be gone, a genie will materialize and solve all your problems for you.

Either way, it’s probably for the best that you aren’t mean to him this weekend. You’re stuck with him for the next 48 hours or so; it’ll only stress you out even more if you channel all of your energy into tormenting him. Besides, you’re already the ex girlfriend who has no place alongside his family. You don’t want to be the dark cloud raining on everyone’s parade too.

Maybe you’d already made up your mind when you let him take the bag from you.

For the first half of the drive, you were unconscious.

It’s a useless superpower that you have, the ability to fall asleep anywhere - literally anywhere, including in the passenger seat of your ex-boyfriend’s car while he escorts you to his hometown. Melatonin gummies manufacturers hate you.

You could’ve slept the whole drive, but around the second hour mark, you were startled awake when your body jostled forward, straining against your seatbelt uncomfortably. There was an arm trying to hold you back, despite the seatbelt having done its job well.

“Fuck,” Jungkook curses before he turns toward you, worry written all over his face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, are you okay?”

You blink, still half asleep. “I’m okay,” you say. The minivan that Jungkook almost rear-ended continues on its merry way, carrying what seems to be a family of five. “What happened?”

He sighs, his outstretched arm retreating back to his side. “I got a bit distracted, that’s all.”

You take in your surroundings then. There’s barely any other cars in sight, no tacky billboard that sticks out like a sore thumb to catch your attention. There’s just the freeway, stretching on empty for all you can see.

“By what?” you ask.

“Nothing,” he says. “Go back to sleep. I’ll wake you when we get there.”

See, you have the superpower of falling asleep anywhere and everywhere, but once you’ve been woken up, it’s not as easy to fall back asleep.

That, and the fact that you’re hungry as shit.

You open your mouth, about to say no, about to offer to drive the rest of the way if Jungkook is tired, but your stomach doesn’t let you get a word out. It growls, filling the space of the car, making you want to chuck yourself out the fucking window and run all the way back to the city. This wouldn’t have happened had you taken the train, because if you had, there would’ve been food services and no one would be subject to hearing your stomach sing like it’s chewing out a small puppy in there. Life is nothing but an endless pit of embarrassment and despair.

Your arms hold themselves tighter around your frame, practically squeezing into your abdomen as you will it to please, please, please be quiet. Jungkook stares at you, and you can tell by the teeny tiny quirk of his lips that he’s trying to bite back a smile. He’s relaxed, but there’s still something hesitant on his face. It takes him a minute before he finally throws the question out.

“Do you want to go to that guksu place that we used-” that we used to go to, “you know the place. The one that’s right off the freeway?”

The sun is out today. The sky unfolds endlessly just outside the window, coloring blue everything your eyes land on. There are strips of clouds scattered here and there, like delicate strokes of white paint on an azure canvas. Even the winter cold has to soften.You bite into your cheek. Don’t think, that’s what he had told you.

Not much about this quaint restaurant has changed. The quirky decorations are still where they used to be, the windows still the same unique stained glass that you never came across anywhere else. You remember the elderly woman who runs the place, even if she doesn’t have a single clue who you are. The golden retriever you used to fawn over every time you stopped by, sits quietly by the door and watches the cars pass by, his fur now graying as weariness begins to settle into those old bones.

You would’ve been displeased if the place had changed, because, well, you don’t like change. But then again, this familiarity is dangerous. It tricks you into thinking that everything is still the same, even you and him. Deludes you into believing that you’re still in love and that he’ll walk out of here holding your hand.

Regardless, the first spoonful has you biting back a smile.

“How is it?” Jungkook asks.

It makes you feel all warm inside, and then a little sad, nostalgic.

“Tastes just the same,” you tell him simply.

“Hmm.”

He lets you satisfy your hunger in peace. It’s the least he can do anyway.

There’s a wall near the back of the restaurant, where people could hang polaroids of themselves and cute handwritten notes. You think if you dig through the hundreds of photos scattered across the space, you might be able to find you and Jungkook there, if you two haven’t already been thrown out long ago to make room for new memories.

He pays for your food after you’re both finished, despite some protesting on your side. As you leave, you’re busy thinking that if you could have a moment to marvel at that far-back wall of memories, if you could find a photo of you and him there, you would probably sneak it into your coat pocket.

It’d be another thing to add to your pile of Jungkook memorabilia - the old clothes in the back of your closet, the stack of dusty polaroids at the bottom of your drawer. You wonder if he keeps anything of yours, maybe an old t-shirt that you forgot to take back. It’s probably unlikely, but a girl can hope.

You miss the way Jungkook glances back, thinking the exact same thing.

You survive the rest of the drive with more ease, probably because of the food. You spend most of the remaining 2 hours leaning against the window, humming to the radio, closing your eyes but not really sleeping. You even forget to be nervous about what is to come.

That is, until the car pulls up to the venue.

It’s absolutely gorgeous, and a lot bigger than you imagined - a modern beach house overlooking the waters. It’s not as extravagant as one would expect to see when they come to a wedding, but considering the small crowd in attendance, this is more than enough. You see people rush in and out of the place even from far away - planners, caterers, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, probably.

You feel a bit comforted just watching this. His family seems to be doing a lot better than before. It’s nice to know.

You barely make it out of the car before someone calls your name, and pulls you into a hug that knocks the wind out of you. Although, when you catch the scent of her hair, you instantly know who it is.

Parents usually have a scent that’s distinct to only their kids, a scent so cozy and homely that no perfume can ever mask. You can only describe your mom’s scent with a feeling, specifically the feeling of your chest tightening, tingling with a bittersweetness that you never found elsewhere. 

Strangely enough, Jungkook’s mother has always made you feel the opposite. She makes you feel relieved to be in her embrace, like she accepts you for who you are even if all you are to her, at the end of the day, is a stranger.

You hug her back awkwardly, hesitantly, in front of Jungkook’s dad, his brother Junghyun, and a girl you don’t know. You assume that she’s the bride-to-be, the main character whom this weekend revolves around. Sooji, you remember that was the name on the wedding invitation.

You get choked up suddenly, eyes turning glassy though you quickly blink it away. You’re not sure if you’ve had someone be so happy to see you. Bypassers might even think that you just found the cure for cancer.

For a second there, you wonder if your mere presence has ever made your mother this overjoyed.

You look at Jungkook for help, silently asking him to rescue you. Who else are you supposed to turn to if not him?

He understands that look. “Okay, mom,” he says, entangling her arms from you with ease, “Y/N’s tired from the drive. Let’s let her rest, yeah? I’ll show her the room.”

She ignores her son. “Honey,” she says, brushing your hair away from your face so she could see you better. “Thank you for coming.” She used to insist that you call her “mom”, or at least by her first name because “Mrs. Jeon” was too formal for someone she considered family.

You now have to opt for the latter, because “mom” isn’t an option for you anymore.

“Thank you for inviting me, Mrs. Jeon,” you tell her with a smile. You’re not really sure what else to say, but it makes you a little sad just calling her that.

She opens her mouth before closing it again, seemingly about to jokingly scold you for the formality before she recognizes the bittersweet look in your eyes. She just smiles at you then. There’s not much to be done about it.

You don’t know if anyone else sees how the moment is weighed down. Probably not. Maybe it’s just you and her who share this sentiment.

Jungkook doesn’t wait for his mom anymore. Sons, typical. He wedges himself between the two of you like a bulldozer and leads you inside the house. 

Even though all you have is an overnight bag, Jungkook carries it for you all the way up to your room, which is only down the hall from his. Then he disappears pretty quickly afterward, saying something about his best man duties and putting out fires. He seems apologetic as he tells you this, but it’s not like you’re expecting him to babysit you all weekend.

You bore yourself to death in your room for a while, before you remember you have to text Yoongi to let him know you got here safely. Though, you stop short of telling him that it was Jungkook who drove you here. It’s trivial enough, right? You don’t want Yoongi to feel bad over nothing. You do, however, inform Taehyung and Jimin when you text them about it, to which Jimin only responds with a preemptively disapproving ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’

When you get too stir-crazy, you wander outside, hoping to explore the beach before it gets dark and colder. You try to stay out of everyone’s way, because a good guest is a quiet guest. You seem to be doing a good job. No one notices you, not even Jungkook’s mom but that’s because she’s the person you actively want to avoid the most. You don’t know what you’d even say to her if she gets you alone.

Everything is hectic, as one can probably imagine when it comes to wedding preparations. You haven’t had anyone close to you get married yet, so it’s safe to say that you’re pretty much clueless about all of this. You wonder what it’ll be like when your big day comes around, if you even ever get married. You haven’t thought about it in a long time. Why would you? You don’t really have a reason to think about this. It’s much easier to picture Taehyung’s or Jimin’s wedding day than your own.

Your opinion on having kids still remains the same, and you were never one of those girls who daydreamed about having a big and extravagant wedding, but it’s not such a bad idea to ponder about. You still think marriage is a scary thing - it’s one of the biggest commitments a person could ever make - but you’re not entirely opposed to getting married. 

Why are you even mulling over this? Your time might never even come.

When you round the corner to get the steps that would lead you down to the beach, you run into Sooji and a woman holding a thick binder - must be a wedding planner. You give Jungkook’s future sister-in-law an awkward smile in greeting, which she returns much more gracefully before she tells the woman that she’ll be with her in a minute.

So now you’re stuck here, about to make small talk with a person you have never met before, and will likely never see again. Great. 

“Hi,” you say, extending a hand. “I haven’t had the chance to introduce myself. I’m Y/N.”

“I’m Sooji,” she replies warmly as she shakes your hand, and you have to stop yourself from being a little weirdo and thinking about how silky her hair looks up close. “You’re Jungkook’s… friend, right?”

You purse your lips before nodding with a chuckle. The pause tells you that she knows, and you wouldn’t be surprised if she’s uncomfortable having you here. 

“I’m sorry if this is weird. You probably don’t want a complete stranger at your wedding.”

Sooji shakes her head instantly, waving her hands around to dismiss your apology. “Please, it’s totally fine. Junghyun’s mom talked to me about it before we sent out the invites. I wouldn’t have agreed if I was really bothered. Don’t worry about it, seriously.”

“Why did you agree?” you ask, trying to sound as polite as possible. “You don’t know who I am.”

“I guess I was curious.” She shrugs, before laughing lightly as she says, “I used to think you weren’t real.”

“Huh?”

“She talks about you constantly. Never in front of Jungkook, of course. But she’s really fond of you, and you probably already know that doesn’t happen very often. She really does see you like a daughter. She made you sound too good to be true.”

You’re not sure how to respond to that. His mom still thinks about you, still talks about you after all this time. You’re just his ex-girlfriend, but she considers you her family. You don’t know what to do with this information nor the way it pinches your heart.

“I-” You purse your lips, fumbling with the responses in your head. You settle on a light laugh, because Sooji can probably tell that you’re struggling with the words too. “I have to be honest. I don’t know what to say to that.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I just thought you should know that you’re still very much loved here.” She gives you a kind smile, and it looks like she wants to tell you something else but decides against it in the end. Sooji’s eyes land somewhere behind you before she points in that general direction. “I have to go take care of an issue with the flowers, but look, Jungkook is here. Why don’t you ask him to show you around?”

And then she’s already off. Overall, what a… strange interaction.

You turn around to see Jungkook standing near one of the entrances to the house. As you watch him talk to someone - a bridesmaid, you assume, or just one of the other guests - you try not to think about the fact that there’s a stirring sensation in your stomach, and that it only intensifies when she throws her head back in a pretty laugh, a perfectly manicured hand landing on his arm like he’s the most charming person she’s ever met. 

You don’t give it a name, don’t label it green in color even though you’re blue and he’s golden sunshine. You don’t acknowledge that it’s a feeling, because doing so would make it real and there are certain truths that you’d rather delude yourself into thinking are lies.

When Jungkook’s eyes catch yours and he cuts off the woman mid-sentence with a curt excuse me, you don’t acknowledge that feeling either, but it’s warm and it blooms in your chest as he makes his way to you. It’s something victorious, something that tickles your ribs.

He comes to you like you’re a destination he’s been waiting all his life to reach, and you certainly, adamantly don’t acknowledge the spectacularly dizzying feeling that swallows you whole when he places a gentle hand on your arm, his voice soft as he says, “There you are. I was looking for you.”

The familiarity, it’s catastrophic.

“I was just walking around,” you tell him. “There’s not a lot to do here. I was bored.”

“You have me,” he says. Probably not in that way, but you’d like to think that’s how he means it. “I don’t have any more fires to put out. What do you want to do now?”

You glance over your surroundings, still set on your original plans. You wanted to go alone, but you suppose you can let him accompany you. You check the time on your phone before asking, “Can we go down to the beach? I wanna see if we can catch the sunset.”

You used to do this whenever you came here to visit - walk along the beach, hand in hand, sunlight in your hair and the cool breeze holding you tight in the afterglow.

The keyword here is “used to”. Now, you have to stuff your hands in your pockets just so you don’t reach for him every time you shiver.

It’s late enough in the afternoon for you to see the moon faintly shine against a blue and orange backdrop. Sun and moon, together in the same frame. It feels symbolic somehow. You’re not really sure.

“The moon looks like an egg,” Jungkook observes astutely, taking casual strides next to you. It makes you burst into easy laughter, which makes him laugh with you too. You stop walking when you reach what you think is a good spot to watch the sky. 

“Let’s sit here for a bit,” you say. It’s not the greatest idea - sitting idly by would only make you colder - but you just want to stop and look at the sunset. Once you’re seated in the sand, you respond to his moon remark, “That’s true, y’know. NASA said so.”

“Yeah,” he says, settling down beside you, “you made me read that.”

You’d forgotten about it, and you didn’t think that he’d remember. It’s freezing cold and the moon looks like an egg, but you’re not thinking, and you feel safe. Nothing can hurt you here, or at least that’s what you’d like to tell yourself.

You wrap your arms around yourself to keep from shivering, but you still shiver anyways.

“Are you cold?” he asks.

“A little,” you admit. “I should’ve worn a thicker sweater. But it’s o-”

He doesn’t let you finish the sentence, just smoothly takes off his jacket to put it around your shoulders.

You put your hands atop his to stop him. When you touch him, there’s an electric tingle that almost makes you flinch. He feels warm, still resembling a human furnace. 

“No, you don’t have t-”

“Take the jacket, Y/N,” he says. “It’s just a jacket.”

The jacket smells like him. It only makes you want to crawl further into the warmth.

He seems more self-assured here, that’s what you notice. More like the version of himself that he used to be. Confident, sometimes borderline cocky. Annoying but oddly endearing, you came to love that about him.

His relaxed demeanor is understandable. You’re merely a visitor here, while this is his homeground. 

“I’m curious about something,” he says after a while.

“Okay.”

“What’s the deal with Wednesdays?” he asks. 

“You know how they say bad things come in threes?” You purse your lips, thinking it over, feeling something bitter in your mouth as you recall the events that led to this. “My parents got divorced on a Wednesday. I moved out of mom’s house on a Wednesday. And…” You hold your knees close to your chest as you hesitate to utter this last part, “we broke up on a Wednesday.”

You see the exact moment Jungkook mentally slaps himself, paling a couple shades as he tongues his cheek, not expecting his question to inadvertently lead back to this. It wasn’t your intention to guilt trip him. It was true that he dumped you on a Wednesday, but you don’t want the mood to turn sour, to have to mull over this again. Like he said, it will still be there for you to worry about when you get back. You’re not looking forward to returning to a shitshow, but what you’d hate even more is to tarnish the memories of this place just because you can’t keep from being vindictive for not even a weekend.

“I was born on a Wednesday too, so I guess bad things come in fours sometimes,” you continue, chuckling to yourself humorlessly.

A frown appears on his face almost instantaneously. “What is that supposed to mean?”

You shrug. Jungkook turns his body toward you, which makes you spare him a glance before you return your gaze to the horizon. His face is so serious that it’s almost funny. “Y/N,” he presses. “Why would you say that?”

“C’mon, it’s a joke. I was just being self-deprecating. Lighten up.”

“Why are you talking like that?”

“Like what? Contrary to popular belief, I don’t walk around with a thundercloud over my head all the time,” you laugh lightly. “I figured if there was a day to be nice to you, it should be today. And tomorrow, I guess.”

“This is you being nice?”

Funny how just a few weeks ago, you were fighting with him and calling him a hypocrite. Now, you’re sitting together, watching the sun set, trying not to be mean to him.

“I’m not picking a fight with you,” you say. “This is nice enough.”

“It’s not even my wedding.”

“Okay.” You glance at him again, letting words flow without a single thought. “I’ll be even nicer to you on your wedding day then.”

You don’t know where that even came from, but something aches the very second the words leave your mouth. The thought of him getting married one day makes you just nauseous, even though you always knew that it was a possibility. It might even be inevitable.

You clear your throat, waving the sullen feeling away. Your body shivers then, even after the added warmth of his jacket. Maybe you’re not shivering because of the cold anymore.

He doesn’t say anything, but you can feel his eyes linger on the side of your face. The both of you keep tiptoeing around an elephant that follows you wherever you go. 

You hug your knees close to your chest, watching the blue sky melt into the golden horizon, splattered with ribbons of cotton candy clouds.

You want to scooch closer to him and have him wrap his arm around your shoulders. This isn’t the spot where you used to draw your names in the sand, enveloped in a giant heart like two lovesick kids, but wouldn’t it be nice to imagine that it is?

“I was always really happy here,” you mumble to yourself.

You were, truly. This city was your pocket of hope, your piece of peace.

Being here brings back so many memories.

It’s the same feeling you get every time you pass by somewhere you used to live. The nostalgia of walking down the same road you used to walk every day until your shoes wore out. The familiarity of your surroundings. The bittersweetness of looking into a past you cannot hold anymore, of remembering the person you were at a certain period in your life, of knowing the things you do now that you didn’t back then.

You long for things you cannot change.

Nostalgia only grows stronger with time, you can always count on that.

He hums in agreement, before admitting quietly, “I miss you.” One pulls, the other pushes. The water wavers, like it’s touched by his words, simple but earnest. You’re touched too, somewhere in your heart, where you know you should be writing someone else’s name now.

Should?

“You’re pushing it,” you say softly.

“I know.”

You look at him. Maybe it’s because you’re back in the city that holds only good memories of you two. Maybe you’re hypnotized by the way the pink and purple hues kiss his side profile, making him feel like a fever dream and not someone you loved. Maybe it’s the cold, making you yearn for any source of warmth. But instead of returning his sentiment, you say, “It’ll pass.”

He meets your eyes. There’s something pleading in his gaze. All things pass eventually. Time moves forward, people move on. Bad things will pass sooner or later. Your worst heartbreak, your most arduous trials, your saddest moments, they will all pass.

And good things… good things will have to pass too, whether you like it or not.

Your fingers twitch from where they’re still holding onto your body. You itch to reach for his hand. You don’t tell him what he wants to hear, even though here’s a part of you that wants to say it back. In a better world, you would be telling him I love you too, instead of having to suppress an I miss you too.

“All things have to pass eventually. This will too.”

[20:05] Taebear 🐻: we could go to that bar near the gallery. Y/N likes the cocktails there [20:06] Mimi 🐥: kay kay [20:06] Mimi 🐥: soooooo next friday? [20:09] Mimi 🐥: why is y/n reading our messages. shouldn’t she be at dinner [20:09] You: i approve of the bar choice [20:11] You: if you didn’t want me reading your messages, you shouldn’t have sent them to the gc [20:11] You: and if you must know, i’m skipping dinner. i’m avoiding Jungkook’s mom [20:12] Mimi 🐥: understandable. i figured you would do that [20:13] Mimi 🐥: how’s it going? are we regretting going yet? i told you to just stay home and we could binge watch the office together [20:15] You: and EYE told you that you could be a good friend and go to this wedding with me but nooooo baby doesn’t like the cold [20:16] You: you could’ve visited your parents while you’re here you know. two birds with one stone [20:18] Mimi 🐥: babes my parents stayed with me for a whole month last month. i reached my quota for family face time  [20:19] You: son and friend of the year 👏 [20:20] Mimi 🐥: 😎😎😎😘

[20:22] Taebear 🐻: hey [20:23] You: uh oh. am i in trouble? why is this not in the gc? [20:25] Taebear 🐻: lol shut up [20:26] Taebear 🐻: you okay? [20:28] You: feels like that could’ve been a perfectly good question to ask in the gc [20:29] Taebear 🐻: because it’s a serious question and we both know Jimin can’t be serious for one minute to save his life [20:32] You: why does it have to be a serious question? 🤪 [20:32] Taebear 🐻: 😕 [20:33] You: stop pouting. i’m fine [20:35] Taebear 🐻: are you? [20:36] You: i am! you don’t have to go all mama bear on me [20:39] Taebear 🐻: ha ha ha. you’re so funny [20:40] Taebear 🐻: want me to call you? [20:42] You: i said i’m fiiiiiine 🙄 [20:43] You: but also no because i told everyone i was tired and i’m pretending to be asleep in my room right now [20:43] Taebear 🐻: okay [20:43] Taebear 🐻: did you eat something at least? [20:44] You: i have a cup ramen in my room [20:45] Taebear 🐻: okay [20:46] Taebear 🐻: how was today? did JK make you wanna strangle him? [20:48] You: okay Kim Taehyung at least act like you have some faith in your friend lol [20:50] You: but mmmmmm it was ok. he was mostly behaving himself [20:51] Taebear 🐻: mostly? [20:54] You: we were down at the beach and he just told me he missed me out of the blue [20:55] You: Mimi is asking why no one is replying to him  [20:57] Taebear 🐻: i can see that [20:58] Taebear 🐻: what did you tell JK? [21:01] You: i quoted fleabag to him [21:09] Taebear 🐻: i had to google that [21:10] Taebear 🐻: i still don’t know what that means [21:11] You: i know you don’t lol. you’re adorable [21:11] You: i’ll tell you when i get back.  [21:13] You: ok bye i have to sleep early or i’ll look like ass in the morning [21:14] Taebear 🐻: oh. okay [21:15] Taebear 🐻: sleep tight. remember not to gorge yourself on booze tomorrow [21:17] You: thanks for the reminder. love you mom 🙄💕 [21:17] Taebear 🐻: :) [21:20] Taebear 🐻: you won’t look like ass btw

You clocked out right after you told Taehyung that you would. It wasn’t a peaceful sleep though. The anxiety simmering in your belly woke you up a few times throughout the night. You don’t even know why you were anxious. It’s not like you were the one who was about to walk down the aisle.

When morning finally came and you managed to untangle yourself from the surprising comfort of your familiar bed, you practically dragged your feet for the subsequent two hours, trying to get ready. As if that would actually slow down the passage of time.

You had to compartmentalize the things you needed to do in a mental checklist. Makeup. Hair. Dress. Stare at yourself in the mirror for half an hour and internally freak out while waiting for Jungkook to come get you from your room.

Now you’re sitting in the wedding hall, watching people filter into the room. It’s not even a lot of people, but you’re still overwhelmed regardless.

You feel so exposed, even though he’s the only one looking at you in this room of strangers. He’s been looking at you like that ever since he first saw you this morning, in a dress that you got just days before the wedding. You still don’t know if it’s entirely appropriate for your ex-boyfriend’s brother’s wedding - maybe a bit revealing - but it was the only one you could find on such short notice.

When you tried on the dress for Taehyung and Jimin a few days ago, Taehyung said you looked beautiful. Jimin said you looked decent, “six point five out of ten,” which translated to “pretty nice” in Jimin-lingo. That would’ve been enough if you were going to any other wedding, not one where Jungkook would also be attending.

You had wanted him to see you and regret ever leaving you.

It was a silly thought, just a tad adolescent.

You had wanted him to see you in your dress and be consumed with thoughts of you until he couldn’t even see straight. To be the only thing on his mind, you didn’t think it was a lot to ask for.

That was before he told you not to think about it and you’d been convinced to just go with the flow just for two days. It was before he actually did see you earlier today in your dress - a simple midnight blue satin cowl neck with a slit in the thigh - but you were the one rendered helpless and speechless. He had stared at you for a minute when he came to walk you down from your room, then he’d said, all breathless even though both of you were just standing there, “You’re beautiful.”

You’re beautiful, not You look beautiful.

You don’t know why, but you appreciated it.

It made your cheeks burn underneath your artificial rosy blush. Stupid, you thought to yourself when you two made your way to the main hall. Stupid for letting yourself get dizzy because of a single compliment from him.

You’re seated with his parents, which makes sense because you don’t know anybody here except for them. Well, maybe you know one of his cousins whose kid you and Jungkook used to babysit whenever their family was in the city, but you doubt that he even remembers you anymore.

When the ceremony begins, your heart instantly feels like it’s about to drop to the pit of your stomach.

You can’t lie to yourself. It stings.

It stings just sitting here next to his parents like a daughter-in-law, like a member of their family, watching his brother solidify his happy ending.

It stings that Jungkook is standing up there, looking as handsome as ever, but his eyes aren’t on the couple. They keep flickering to you no matter how much you try to pretend that they don’t.

It stings that even though you don’t think about marriage often - or maybe you just don’t allow yourself to - you can’t deny that the thought does cross your mind from time to time. Any time that you’d wander the corridors inside your head, you’d pass the doors that you keep unopened on purpose but there’s always that one door marked with a bright red X that you can never sidestep.

You watch Junghyun and Sooji with their teary smiles and shaky hands, shaky but happy. There’s a sudden clarity that this could’ve been you and him in another life. Forever is a lie, but you would’ve perjured yourself a thousand times for him. I do - you would’ve meant it.

You imagine yourself in Sooji’s place, and Jungkook, standing right on the other side, holding both your hands in his. A beautiful and radiant bride terrified of the altar. A dashing groom with a smile that could rival the sun and shoulders weighing heavier than he lets on.

It would’ve looked clumsy, but it could’ve been right.

You wonder if he’s wondering the same thing. Maybe he is. You hope he is.

When the ceremony ends with a kiss shared between the newlyweds, you wipe away the tears that well up in your eyes. The people around you do the same thing, but they’re doing it for the right reason, out of genuine joy for the happy couple. You don’t think you can say the same for yourself.

Some of the bridesmaids fawn over him. It’s reasonable, you suppose. One tends to do that in the presence of Jeon Jungkook.

You watch as they come up to him one by one to ask him to dance, watch as he politely declines until they’re all stalking away with similar pouts on their faces. You watch him until his eyes lock on you, sitting at a table near the back, nursing a glass of champagne.

He weaves himself with ease through the people making their way to the dance floor. When he’s in front of you, he holds out a hand.

“Dance with me?” he asks, his doe eyes working overtime to lure you in with their sparkles, though you’d rather stay here where you can easily go unnoticed until the night ends. “One song?”

“I don’t know how,” you say, even as you’re taking his hand and standing up.

“I showed you how, remember?”

“That was a long time ago.”

He squeezes you reassuringly. “Just follow my lead,” he says, walking the both of you to the floor. “C’mon.”

Once the music starts, your heels stomp on his feet at least three times before you start finding the beat to move along to. Muscle memory, or whatever, is bullshit. You remember absolutely nothing of what he showed you.

You’re grateful that the song is slow, because it makes it easier for you to follow the beat with your two left feet. He takes one of your hands in his, the other settling on the small of your back, guiding you to move in a steady rhythm.

You feel his mother’s eyes on the two of you, because she must be somewhere nearby, watching you like a hawk. You feel his gaze on your face while you keep yours on the knot of his tie, just trying to keep your composure and to not step on his feet with your heels.

The blur of white that you catch from the periphery of your vision makes you turn your head. Sooji and Junghyun are close by, swaying together slowly to the soft music, both of them glowing with happiness. She must sense your eyes on her, because she lifts her gaze up to meet yours. She smiles at the sight of you and Jungkook, and you smile back, because you don’t know how else to respond to that.

You don’t say it, but you do think it. Your fingers tighten around his hand ever so slightly.

Could that have been us?

If the answer is yes, then it would hurt.

If the answer is no, then it would hurt.

The point of your story is that it’s painful however you choose to look at it. There’s no other way to frame it. It’s just painful, because you’re never going to get any of it back.

You bite your lip, then turn away from the happy couple but you still don’t look at Jungkook. You look at your hand in his, and that’s when you see it.

“How’d you get that?” you ask, gently tracing the inch of slightly raised skin on his knuckles. You never noticed the scar until now.

“It was four years ago, I think? After Taehyung and I almost got into a fight, I went outside and… punched a wall,” he says, wincing as he recalls the memory.

His answer takes you aback. “You and Taehyung got into a fight?”

“Almost,” he corrects. “It was a long time ago. Didn’t they tell you?”

“No, they didn’t say anything. What happened?”

“Nothing happened.”

“If it was really nothing, you wouldn’t have punched a wall.” You frown. It makes you miss a few beats, but the song isn’t what’s important now, even if Jungkook is still trying to steer you back into the dance. “Taehyung isn’t violent. You aren’t violent.”

“I’m serious,” he says finally. “It’s nothing. We were just drunk and stupid.”

You know there must be more to it, that something must have happened or been said to trigger such a reaction from both of them. But you also know that you won’t probably get anything out of Jungkook if he doesn’t want to tell you.

You give up, for now. “Fine. If you say so.”  You’ll just have to weasel it out of Jimin later.

The song comes to an end, before another one comes on. If Jungkook remembers that he only asked for one song, maybe he’s counting his blessings that you’re still here and dancing with him, because he doesn’t mention it.

For some reason, you pull your hand away from his, only to slide up his shoulder to lock both of your hands behind his neck. He seems surprised, but he does the same around your waist.

Jungkook’s gaze flickers to your lips briefly, then back to your eyes again. You find yourself doing the same and wonder what he tastes like after all the time you’ve been apart. Is he still as sweet as you remember? You used to tease that it was because of the excessive sugar he put in everything, but you knew it was really just him. The few inches between you are so inviting that it’s practically tempting you to close the gap. You could, easily in fact. Blame it on one too many glasses of champagne later if you want.

He looks younger like this, like the boy you loved, starry eyes and dimpled smile. His shoulders are always the most comfortable resting place, the crook of his neck your long lost home. This is nice, you think, to see him again even though it feels like a fever dream. Memories of your first date, your first kiss, come to life before your eyes so realistically that you could almost touch them.

Loved? That sounds funny to you.

The people you used to be, souls wrapped in innocence, when the world was nothing but the arms of the person you loved. You reach out, and the memories quickly fade from view. The only trace they leave behind is a speck of gold on your fingertips, a memento of charming naiveté for you to tuck neatly away in the corner of your mind, but also a reminder that ah, they only exist in the locket of your heart now. Because he has changed, and you think you must have too. Life, as they say, goes on.

“We made it. Kind of. That’s crazy,” you find yourself saying.

“Did we?”

“You don’t think so?” you chuckle. “We’re in a group chat with the Kim Seokjin who spams it with bad jokes on a daily basis. I’d call that a win.”

That makes him laugh. “If you put it like that, yeah, maybe. Sure.”

Other people might be fooled, but it doesn’t sound at all convincing to you. The light doesn’t really reach his eyes. You bite the inside of your cheek, thinking of how to translate the sudden poignant turn of the moment.

“It isn’t everything you hoped it’d be?” you ask.

His shoulders rise then fall quickly in a second-long shrug. “I thought it would make me feel more… fulfilled. But it doesn’t. Not really.”

The way he says it and the way he’s looking at you makes your heart dive. You understand what he means. You’re good at what you do, and you don’t need reassurance from anyone to recognize that. But sometimes, it doesn’t feel like it’s enough. Doesn’t feel like it’s real, like it’s validated.

When you landed your first big project, even before Yoongi, you were so proud of yourself. You were bursting with excitement but you weren’t happy, and you knew what the reason was. Something was missing that couldn’t be filled, not even with all your friends’ hundreds of messages of encouragement. 

It’s beyond stupid, this feeling like your wins amount to nothing at all just because of one person. You wanted him there to celebrate every achievement with you and he wasn’t, and the milestones seemed incomplete without the presence of him. It doesn’t feel like you’ve accomplished anything because this always used to be a dream you thought you’d make come true together.

“It’s lonely,” he concludes.

It sounds like he feels the same way, like he wanted you to be there too.

He suddenly holds you tighter than you think he needs to, like he’s afraid to let go of you. You imagine that he doesn’t want to let go of you, and it makes you feel better for a second. But it doesn’t change the fact that he still did in the end. And he will have to when this ends.

What was the point of this? Why did he bring this upon yourselves when he seems to be as hurt as you are? All of this time, all of these years, lost to what? You could’ve been happy together but instead, you were both lost and miserable.

When the music stops - you lost count of how many songs it’s been - you pull away from him. He looks disappointed, maybe even a little hurt for some reason.

“I’m gonna get some air,” you say, already turning away from him.

“Y/N-”

“I need some air.” Then you’re weaving through the dancing couples despite Jungkook calling your name. How did he manage it? How did he not look back when you called out for him?

You hastily grab your coat on the way out. It’s not going to keep you warm, but that’s not something you’re even remotely concerned with.

It’s everywhere, you feel it down to your bones.

The wind wraps itself tightly around you, intertwining in your hair, slipping through the cracks of your fingers, caressing your face in a chilling touch. You greet the cold like a long lost sister, shivering violently with nostalgia. It was there for you more than your own flesh and blood.

Is that why you like the sea at night? Because it reminds you of mom?

It’s dark out here, barely anything is visible except for a lighthouse sending out light in the quiet of the night. You can’t see much, but you can certainly hear it. You’re not sure if the music is coming from inside the venue, or if it’s still ringing in your ears. It’s probably the latter; you’re too far away to be able to catch the music anyway. But regardless, the tune is quickly drowned out by the sea.

The waves crash violently against the shore like it’s out for blood. There’s a magnetic pull, as if it’s calling out for you. You want to go to it, to reach out and feel the cold outside of your body for once, but you stay there despite your legs itching to stand up and run straight ahead. Into the water and down under.

You could lie down and close your eyes for a moment. The sound of the water, as sharp and brutal as it is, nurtures a part of you somehow.

You just want to be alone. You don’t want to talk to Taehyung, or Jimin, or even Yoongi.

Oh.

Yoongi.

It’s a terrible feeling, knowing that you’re going to hurt Yoongi. Knowing that you’re going to kill this even before it has a chance to truly begin.

Truth be told, you can’t envision a future with Yoongi. There isn’t anything wrong with him, because he’s not the problem here. Yoongi is fun, he’s considerate, he keeps things light on purpose for you, until you’re ready to initiate something more serious. He’s good for you, even Taehyung thinks so.

But you can’t love Yoongi, not in the way that he wants you to. Not more than you love Jungkook.

There you go. Ruining things again.

Did you ruin Jungkook? Is that what happened?

The layers on you are no match for the sea at night. The wind hisses relentlessly, biting at any part of your skin that’s exposed.

It takes you back to that night. Almost everything does, actually.

Maybe that’s why you never even stopped to consider starting anything with anyone, because it always ends. If there’s a beginning, then there will be an inevitable ending. Love isn’t made to last and you aren’t meant to carry love with you. You’ve been abandoned twice. If it happens a third time, it’s a pattern, and then your hypothesis will only be proven. That the problem here is you.

You’d be lying if you said you haven’t wondered when it’ll finally be Taehyung’s turn to leave. He eventually will, right? That one’s gonna hurt.

Then, you’re startled when someone calls your name.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks. The wind and the waves masked the sound of his footsteps walking up to you. When you turn around to face him, his eyes grow worried, almost panicked. “Why are you crying?”

You breathe out irritatedly before you hastily wipe at your cheeks. You didn’t even realize that you’d been crying. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine,” you say, though you both know it’s a lie. “I’m just tired. I’m going up to my room.”

He catches your wrist in a firm grip when you try to walk away. You wish he’d just leave you alone, but you knew he wouldn’t drop it just like that.

“I said I’m fine,” you insist.

“You were crying,” he says. “Did I do something wrong?”

He didn’t, at least not tonight.

God, you really don’t want to do this right now.

“Jungkook,” you warn. “Let go of me.”

You try to free yourself from his grip, hoping that he’ll get the hint and back off for now. Instead, he pulls you into his chest, where you struggle to escape from his hold until you realize your efforts are futile. He takes the wind’s place, wound tightly around you, so tightly that it’s nearly impossible for you to move.

You hiss out his name, but he doesn’t budge. 

“Jungkook, can you just- Fuck!”

Damn him.

You realize he’s not giving up, which in turn makes you give up struggling, hoping that if you let this be a moment, then it’ll be something that can pass.

You’re just standing there, letting him hold you, letting yourself be held by the person who broke you in the first place. This feels exactly like where you’re supposed to be - in his arms, with your face hidden in the crook of his neck, his gentle fingers stroking your hair. There’s not a lot that you could do but lean into that feeling the same way you lean into him. One foot in the sand, one foot in the past. A hand on the doorknob of time, wondering if you should look back or look forward.

You want to be alone, but that never used to apply with him.

The wind stills, the sea calms. You remain unmoving too, locked in his embrace. You feel the faint rhythm of his heart, beating faster than you think it should. If you could, you would bottle this moment up and live there forever.

I miss you, you think.

I miss you.

I miss you.

I miss you.

Then your arms are around him too. It only makes him hold you tighter, and all you can think about is how much you miss him, how painful it is to miss him, how you feel like you’re being pulled apart at the seams from the weight of missing him. 

Fuck.

Can you pretend that the last few years never happened? Is there a higher power that would allow you to go back to the night before that wretched Wednesday, when everything was still perfect? Hundreds of days of your life, can you pretend that it was just one long nightmare? When you wake up, you’ll be back in his humble apartment, tangled up together in his bed. Warm sunlight, your silken youth, and him. It was all you ever needed.

Again with the devastating familiarity. The city, the beach. His mother’s warmth that always made you reminisce about your own mother’s coldness. How Jungkook used to find you in moments like this and just stayed by your side until the dejection passed. He understood that he could never understand it the way you did.

You hear yourself sniffle, then you feel him press a kiss into your hair. Home is comforting.

Oh, you never want to leave.

You don’t want to leave, and that’s terrifying.

You allow yourself to stay there for one more second - one endless second - so you could commit to memory what it’s like to be with him. Back and forth. It’s always so easy to fall into him.

Jungkook releases you when he feels you loosen after a while, and you reluctantly meet his eyes as he tilts your head to face him.  His fingers cradling your jaw, how warm and delicate they feel on your skin.

You swallow thickly, your mind going blank. He’s the only person you see, the only one that matters. His eyes flicker south, and even then you don’t make any move to run away, despite his loose grip on your waist telling you that you can if you want to.

You told him that it would pass, and maybe for him, it will. For him, it’s the city and the moment, making him feel like he’s caught up in a page that he’s turned over a long time ago. He was fine with leaving, and he’s been fine without you. It will pass for him, as much as it hurts you to admit it.

But not for you. For you, there’s only him. There’s nobody else but him. It’s always been him, no matter how hard you try to tell yourself that there will be another person you can love as much as you love Jungkook. You might only be a page, perhaps even a chapter, in the story of his life, but he’s your entire book. He’s volume after volume after volume, until he takes up the whole shelf and leaves no room for anything else, not even for yourself.

And now here he is - at the biggest turn in your career.

He’s a bad blood cell you can’t ever get rid of.

You’ll never be able to truly let go of him. How could you? When you truly love someone, those feelings will carry on forever. They’ll always have a piece of your heart despite an ending. When you look back on a certain period in your life, you’ll think to yourself, You’ll always be a part of me. I loved you then.

But Jungkook is a force of nature. He has your whole heart.

Years and years from now, when you look back on your life, you know you’ll see him everywhere. Even when you’re old and gray, and when faces all just blur together in a mosaic of broken memories and long lost youth, you know you’ll still remember him - the person you loved, the one whom you let slip through your fingers. The great love of your life when you were young.

Sometimes, you regret that day. You can’t help feeling like it was your fault too. Maybe you should’ve tried harder to keep him. You should’ve fought harder, should’ve held onto him instead of standing there and watching him leave.

He lit the match, and you let the house burn. It takes two to tango, two to break a heart.

You’re quick to let people leave. Oh, how you wish it could be that easy to let them go too.

It isn’t until your eyes mimic the flicker of his gaze that he leans in. You meet him halfway. For the first time in years, you feel like you could breathe, truly breathe. It’s achingly slow, like neither of you can believe that this is happening. 

You sigh against his mouth when his tongue brushes your bottom lip, slips past the seal to devour you. It feels like a perfect dream. You could stay in this bubble with him forever, pretend that you’re the only two people who exist in the world and there’s nothing else, no one else, waiting for you in a city that seems so far away right now. The thought of him never left you, not even for a second. He’s always been with you everywhere you go, no matter what you do, always in the back of your mind.

He tastes like your youth, like remembrance. He kisses you like he’s still yours when deep down you know that you’re still his. The hand on your jaw is gentle but firm, and it makes you repeat a thought, I miss you.

Then a feeling, I love you.

Not then. Now.

I love you now.

I love you even when I shouldn’t. Even when it hurts. Even when you leave me. Even when you don’t love me more than I love you. If there comes a day where you love somebody else, I will still love you then. There will never be another person for me but you. My first and only love.

When he pulls away, you think it’s too quick, even though your lungs are grateful for the breath that you instantly inhale. You stare at his lips like you’re in a daze, mesmerized, wanting to chase them again. You don’t even know how you have it in yourself to utter these next words, but you hear your own voice saying them anyway.

You’re holding onto him now. Doesn’t that count?

“Let’s…” Your fingers tighten on the collar of his dress shirt. “Let’s go up to your room.”

note (2): so... what do we think?? will they?? won't they?? 😵 stay tuned for obs7.5 which will be dropping 29.09.2023! also i'm gonna pause obs muse asks for a little bit! 😬

all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted september 24, 2023]

[gojosbf]

Sorry, but I need to say something I've been thinking about for a while. I found geto's death forcing. 1.he loses to a boy with no experience and the power of ''love''. 2.he was stronger and had more knowledge and experience than the boy yuta. 3. It seems that the author just wanted to get rid of geto so that this annoying villain Kenjaku could come. 4. In my opinion, Geto is the best villain. I don't understand why the author didn't want to continue with him. 5. His death was forced because Saturo already had a change in character and personality. What I'm trying to say is that in the film, Satura is already different, he's no longer that immature young man. 6. the serious work was much more dramatic if geto had survived saturo blow he would have become stronger and returned as a villain again with sukuna. Sorry if it's big, but I have these doubts that such a good and well-constructed character had a horrible ending and very little.

I have mixed feelings about this anon but first I'd clarify things point by point for you and then give my opinion if possible

1. Yuuta Okkotsu has a special grade curse, the queen of curses Rika, the power of "love" you speak tho it might sound cliché does fit here well and it was explained in the manga that love is considered the most twisted curse (if you saw the movie you'd have seen that gojo said this line to him too).

2. Yes sure geto had more experience and knowledge but yuuta is an acclaimed prodigy, his cursed technique is mimicry, rika was so scaringly powerful even before she fully evolved, geto KNEW that if he absorbed rika he'd have everything needed to form his "ideal world". He wasn't just any nobody who managed to get lucky.

3. Okay now here there are two reasons and I am trying my best to find words to explain it, yuuta was meant to be the original mc of jjk, he is the op character. Geto wanted rika (as I mentioned in the previous point) to accomplish his dream so if geto won that battle the story as whole would've taken a very different turn, we wouldn't need itadori and the whole first years and their stories. Remember how I said yuuta was supposed to the actual mc? Yeah that's were gege actually made changes so he could make a better and elaborate plot.

4. Geto Suguru was infact an amazing villain, yes. But you've also got to understand that he was sympathetic towards jujutsu sorcerers, he'd never risk harming them (his own last words being "I never hated anyone from jjk high") unless they're in his way. He had to die because we needed someone who'd go all out, no mercy to anyone, no regard and sympathy for anyone and that's exactly why we needed someone like kenjaku, who was equally powerful, evil and not shy to bring hell.

5. Geto's death had nothing to do with "changing gojo's personality", that change already happened after hidden inventory and premature death arc. His death was an important decision for future plot points (explaining why yuuji was special, sealing the strongest etc).

6. This is where I fully give my opinion, sure Suguru would've come back as stronger and even more powerful villain but would he have achieved what kenjaku did? Geto Suguru that we knew would choose any other route than sealing Gojo, he literally did not even try to protect himself and gave gojo a chance to kill him (during kfc breakup), he never attacked jujutsu high until yuuta happened, he worked with rejected sorcerers and never paired up with evil curses like hanami, jogo and mahito. So, to put it simply it was important part of plot that geto first turned evil and then died, that shaped so many important arcs of the manga and it was well thought out for long run. Sure it's sad and frustrating but that was one good writing move on gege's part and there's no denying that.

[seiwas]

hi sel!! #3, 23, & 24 for the end of year fanfic asks please!!

noos!! aaah thank you for sending 🥺

send me any number from this fanfic writer ask game!

#3 favorite line/scene you wrote this year

omg a favourite line is impossible bc i sadly forget what i write the moment i hit post 🥲 but i will say!! one of my fave scenes to write was the car scene from this megumi fic 🥺 mostly because it's personal to me!!

And you think, with your music playing over the comfortable silence you’ve built, being in his passenger seat one too many times—this feels nice.  Any other day and you’d hate traffic as much as the next person, but not right now.  Megumi’s eyelashes are long, pretty, stretching on for miles—and you wonder if this drive with him can extend to the length of them, if you can stay in this traffic jam a little longer just to be in this moment with him.  “Sorry, are you cold?” Megumi asks, interrupting your stare.

i always try to include 1-2 lines that feel ~satisfying bc i think my sentence constructions are really simple!! so to add some kind of dynamic to it i guess!!

#23 fics you wanted to write but didn’t

omg my wip list grows by the day noos 🥺 i wanted to write my ex!bakugo fic this year but am so intimidated by him that i struggle to start even tho i have everything in place alr 😭

there's also an escort!reader x nanami idea that i have but will probably never write 🥹 it's a skill gap on my end i think sfbsdhfsj idt i'm a good enough writer to give justice to that kind of concept!!

also wanted to write more for my iwa series this yr but figured i'd wait till next year when the hq hype comes back!!! (am gonna re-edit everything!! might reformat it too)

#24 favorite fic some unforgettable fics you read this year

noos... you opened a dam with this question... how can i possibly just choose one... are you kidding me... i can't choose one... so i'm putting everything under the cut... gonna give myself 5 per fandom 😭 (you can tell im very partial to friends to lovers 😭😭😭)

also!! there are a lot of fics in my tbr that i haven't gotten to yet!! and everything i reblog is pretty much a fic i recommend 🥹

hq!!

over the course of 24 hours by prettyiwa (iwaizumi hajime x reader) [10k. friends to lovers.] my favourite iwaizumi fic ever 🥹 i reread it once a year hence why it's here

an observer of longing by shibaraki (iwaizumi hajime x reader) [18k. friends to lovers.] took me like 4 hours to read this bc i wanted to savour it. and was lying down in bed, staring up at the ceiling crying when i was done 🥺

miya atsumu and the chronic lovesick disease by fushisagi (miya atsumu x reader) [12k. friends to lovers.] the thematic consistency in this is so good & i still think abt this to this day!!

long shots by ahtsumu (miya osamu x reader) [5k. TA!atsumu.] solidified me reading for osamu—he's soooo attractive here.

seasons by mintmatcha (hanamaki takahiro x reader) [6k. friends to lovers.] fully roped me in being a makki fucker 😭

jjk

half agony, half hope by seravphs (gojo satoru x reader) [ongoing series. knight!gojo.] superb. that's really all i can say about this. the want and tension is gripping.

wormwood by linkcities (gojo satoru x reader) [25k. friends to lovers.] heartwrenching and achey. so so good. 🥲

oh my destiny, how far you have sprung now by twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat (gojo satoru gen fic) [5k. canon divergence.] such an interesting look into something i don't normally see written on gojo. written beautifully too!

(though we may) fall apart by stellamancer (gojo satoru x reader) [4k. canon compliant ish.] amazing buildup & the tension is insane too. 🤧

keeping up with the fushigojos by augustinewrites (gojo satoru x reader)

[ongoing series. found family.] sooo cute and feel-good. their lil family lives in my mind rent free!! 🥹

bnha

i like to call myself wound but i will answer to knife by kirketeer (bakugo katsuki x reader) [59k. enemies to friends to lovers.] i reread this once a year oh my god it's one of my fave fics ever.

you had only to look at me by willowser (bakugo katsuki x reader) [7k. friends to lovers.] reread this recently and was tearing up by the end omg.

all the times i told you by gardenofnoah (bakugo katsuki x reader) [8k. established relationship.] the most teeeendeeer bakugo i've ever seen and i tear up every time i read this.

love to love you by shibaraki (midoriya izuku x reader) [2k. established relationship.] another one that's super soft. such a raw tenderness to this 🥺

nitroglycerine by alrightberries (bakugo katsuki x reader) [1k. fwb to idiots to lovers.] the dialogue here is amazing and there's so much in the unsaid i am gnawing my fist.

[princessofxianle]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

well THANK YOU for asking, you are the first to!

tbh ive been meaning to do this on my main blog bc I take these wayyy too seriously lol but ANYWAY heres my top 10 faves (in no particular order) that I can think of (tbh theres prob more i forgot about, or i wanted to keep only 1 per fandom... except tgcf)

Huge Spoiler Warning: for ALL of tgcf, 2ha, aot, AND JJK MANGA!!!

1. Feng Xin (tgcf)

do i even need to explain this one? loyal to a fault, just a cute lil puppy, one hell of a sculpted archers back, and he's head over heels in love with Xie Lian (but tbh same) i have a lot of thoughts about him on a daily basis on this blog (and also theres the #fx backstory au tag)

2. Noé Archiviste (the Case Study of Vanitas)

MY BABY

the absolute bestest boy of EVER... with a LOAD of unprocessed trauma (yknow the typical stuff like seeing your childhood bff get decapitated in front of you) and a lot more to come once we find out how he kills his boyfriend best friend, Vanitas...

i ALSO think about him a lot but over on @noes-pillow

3. Sejanus Plinth (The Hunger Games: tbosas)

hated reading as a child... HATED it... picked up the og trilogy when i was 12 and i was a goner. The funny thing is i still hated reading for YEARS up until i picked up the prequel novel then in 2020, and now ive read all of tgcf, 2ha, and more fanfic than i could ever imagine... all because this stupid boy (i love him) chose to trust the WORST person as his friend, rip sejanus my baby

the movie is v good btw, if you havent seen it you should

4. Xie Lian (tgcf)

*Taizi Dianxia Fang Xin Guoshi General Hua Xie Lian*

how this man survived 800 years of being physically unable to die and never went insane is a mystery i will never be able to fully comprehend (aaand im in love with him... hmm i wonder why...)

5. Mihael "Mello" Keehl (Death Note)

the chocolate-addicted blonde boi that was my first anime crush... by proxy I must also add Mail "Matt" Jeevas because they are a package deal

these two are also the reason i started writing fanfic so they will ALWAYS hold a special place in my heart

6. Xue Meng - (2ha)

*sigh* he's just everyone's fav peacock (yes technically the image is XM 0.5 but he had a cool ass bird so im using this photo bc its COOL anyway...) mengmeng is another one of my trauma bois who has lost next to everything and yet is STILL kicking ass and taking names #thatsmyfuckingsectleader so proud of you my son

also this might get me into hot water here but imma go ahead and say it...

this is what i wanted Jiang Cheng to be... (i LOVE my angy grape but...) through thick and thin, despite EVERYTHING, and even mo ran fucking abandoning him he will still call mo ran his "ge"...

fgjhdfhfdg THEYRE BROTHERS, OKAY???

7. Howl Pendragon (Howl's Moving Castle)

ok this one i just simply do not need to explain... if you think i do, go watch this whole movie and then there ya go thats your answer...

GENDER

8. River Song (Doctor Who)

aside from being the character that unlocked my unhealthy obsession with :) Main Character Death :) at the ripe ol' age of 8 YEARS (although Will Turner from POTC also helped on that front... Orlando Bloom my beloved) River's story was a stroke of absolute GENIUS from start to finish and i simply love how Alex Kingston played her...

"You don't expect a sunset to admire you back."

I just love the doomed ones, okay...

9. Satoru Gojo (Jujutsu Kaisen)

look... theres *gojo girlies* uwu and then theres GOJO GIRLIES... i couldn't give 2 shits about how he's fan-serviced (tho im not complaining) but have you SEEN the amount of grief pumped into that man? he could explode in a fit of fucking insanity at literally any moment and take the whole goddamn world down with him bc what happened with suguru WASNT FAIR to him and satoru has more than enough power to go apeshit... but he DOESN'T... even after losing so many of his co-sorcerers... he still puts on a brave face to the end in order to protect the childhood of his students even tho his own youth was stolen from him during hidden inventory...

SEE? The DOOMED ones!

10. Levi Ackerman (Attack on Titan)

i read the manga during my last year of uni and when i tell you i SOBBED at the end... yes ofc for obvious reasons, but mostly bc my little Levi loses EVERYTHING. He is the SOLE survivor of the veteran scouts. He's missing multiple fingers, an eye, and the ability to walk. He was the strongest (yowaimo) but wasn't even granted the mercy to die at the end of his narrative! Broke my fucking heart.

BONUS: Morph (Treasure Planet)

he's a morph!!! nuff said <3

fin

[hood-ex]

Yo you're watching jjk? That time fushiguro got asked about his type, the correct translation is he said a person with unwavering humanity. A certain someone's name has a kanji meaning the same 👀

Highly highly recommend that you watch the jjk 0 movie right after finishing season 1 so you know, what's up, who's down bad, who's coming etc.

The one anon is right about the content being dark, it is technically a tragedy horror action true, bit there's no sexual violence unless you deep it and think about what really goes on.

Oh you're also so wrong about Kurama 😂 Akutami's writing this as a tribute to shounen (mother's basement on youtube has good videos on jjk) but his main inspo are bleach and hunterxhunter, along with older stuff like ngo, yu yu hakuso etc. Naruto influences every shounen but it's not Akutami's fave. He worships bleach mangaka 😂

I don't know many good translator or meta writers on tumblr but if you have twitter check out lightningclare!

Welcome to hell tho, you're in for a lot of heartbreaks. (Beware the popular found family doesn't exist in canon, dismissed by Akutami many times, and the canonical found family is of an old villain's so they're kinda hated, like a Lot lol rip)

That's the translation I got in the sub during that scene, I believe. Lol can I just assume it's Yuji? Last time I tried to figure out the meaning of a name, I was totally wrong, and my student's mother was like uh no that's not what his name means at all, actually. So I don't trust my general Google searches for non-English names 😭.

Oh did not know there was a movie so that's veryyy good to know, thank yooou!

Yeah, I mean it's dark but not in an off-putting way. At least not to me alskdja. Idk it doesn't bother me at all. A lot of the dark stuff really pushes Yuji to be better and stronger, so I like it for that effect.

I can draw parallels between Naruto/Kurama and Yuji/Sukuna from my own perspective, but him having inspo from those older animes makes sense. I've actually never seen Bleach, and I think waaaay back in the day, I might have tried to watch the first episode of it but didn't finish it. I was way more invested in Prince of Tennis back then lmao. "Mada mada dane."

No yeah the series isn't really giving the found family vibes I would've hoped for so far (Yuji and Todo though... LOL). Yuji has been separated from the others too much, and we haven't really seen more than surface level connections between the other students so far. Although, they are watching each other's backs pretty well, so I am getting caring vibes between them.

*spoiler mentioned below*

Waaaait what do you mean the canonical found family is an old villain's? I spoiled myself on TikTok today and saw that Sukuna is apparently Yuji's uncle... or something? Something something with Sukuna's twin. Is that what you're referring to?

[mahazsine]

(NICE DREAM) 𝜗𝜚

‘’ they dug me my very own garden ! ‘'

megumi ! x fem!reader more like a childhood memory, jjk au , megumi just got abandonned n never met tsumiki. reader is a non-sorcerer btw

note : REPOST first time posting my writing on tumblr.. my english is HORRID srry! wrote this last summer bc i ws mad n felt angsty but it ended up happier than i thought, might continue later i forgor everythin i wanted to add

as a child, you had a very normal life, if you can qualify that 

a loving family, that sometimes fights, but always comforts each others ; that’s what a family’s made for right ? everybody has his very own role, personnalities are just a facade

‘’you’re sat here complaining with a table full of food, while someone out there isn’t’’, your father would say everytime you weren’t done eating. you pout, showing that sweet, funny expression kids have, before your parents laugh, apologizing

‘’ somoene out there isn’t’'

are you hungry ?

the little boy looked up at you, his eyes still red and sore, fighting the urge to itch them

‘’ yes. ‘’ he answerend softly, politish suprising whisper, sounding more like a sigh.

here !

you handed him a piece of bread filled with cheese, that you were supposed to eat for lunch at school, and sat right next to him.

after a few minutes of watching him eat messily and relieve his stomach, you spoke up

‘’ wanna play? its getting boring out here !’’

he didn’t answer, only looking at your liveful eyes, and the pout that started forming on your little girl’s face, seemingly disappoiting by his lack of response

‘’tag you’re it !’'

you suddenly stood up, a huge infectious smile decorating your features as you started running away from him, standing a few meters away and waiting for a reaction

and his tired eyes lit up, someone was playing with him ! was he normal ? like all those other brats spending their days eating expensive ( at least, for him ) snacks in front of him, complaining constantly and yelling at their parents ?

no he was still different, and so you were

you

who’s face became bright everytime you saw your parents or a family member in front of the school door, instead of being an ungrateful child, you wave goodbye to your friends and jump into their arms

your pouts and complains had something comforting in them, that tone you use was never meant to show any kind of hate or harm, on the opposite, bringing a wave of faith and love

you

‘ weren’t just different

you were special

that late afternoon, waiting for your parents to come back, watching your face turn into a sobbing mess after long minutes, turning into an hour, of playing hide and seek. how your arms met his shoulders in a tight comforting embrace

you gave him hope.

that night, while coming back to his shelter, something felt different about the way the stars lit up the sky

‘’the moon is beautiful isn’t it ? ‘’ he had randomly sighed while your sobs and tears filled up the air, you looked up lazily, looking at his soft blu-ish eyes and suprisingly long lashes

‘’mhm’'

he was eight, you were six, but for a moment, it felt all different. a kid uncovering fear, another one experiencing true warmth for the first time

oh how you wish you could go back to these days.

where everyone apologized, comforted you ! where you could smile childishly and carelessly, without worrying about any sort of foolish things such as insecurities

but there you are, on the school’s abandonned bathroom floor, bawling your eyes out, how ironic.

hurts to be the one to remember

‘’oh , what’s .. ‘'

no way

these eyes, this demeanor, this messy yet altogether hairstyle

could it be ?

ha no you must be hallucinating, or even funnier, dreaming !

would be a nice dream tho

(nice dream) you had both thought at that exact moment

‘’ hey ? ‘'

alright you’re not dreaming

as for him, he obviously recognized the little girl who saved him from dying. maybe from hunger, or simply giving up ?

[foraltruism]

GET TO KNOW YOUR ADMIN !!

name — Rubii

pronouns — they/them

preferred comms — Discord, even though I'm kinda slow at first. I swear I'm really kinda shy when starting up conversations with people and awkward asf too, but once we get to chatting it's a lot easier. I also have ADHD and unfortunately people tend to fall into the "object permeance" section of the brain. Constantly talking to me and building a friendship means I'll be a lot more comfortable annoying you 👀

name of muse — I have 41 muses and you want me to name them all? 😭 Please check my caard for the 38 muses here, but I also have Megumi, Sukuna and Gojo on their own blogs.

experience in RP — I believe my journey in Rping started in 2014? Almost 10 years in total, but here on Tumblr I think it was in 2016 or 2017? I took a 2 year break though because back then Tumblr wasn't very good for me and my mental health, so I'm glad I did.

best experiences — Being a multi-muse blog for about majority of the time I've been on Tumblr I've been in multiple fandoms and met lots of people. Thus far, the most lively experience I've been enjoying myself in is the JJK fandom. There are so many fun loving and wonderful people in this fandom that's been making rping so much fun. There's also the Free fandom which I'm sad is not as active as it used to be but I've had plenty of fun and good experiences there too. Lastly the best experience was meeting my best friend of 5-6 years to whom I still keep in touch with to this day. She's my day one bestie and I love her so much 😭

pet peeves / deal breakers — I don't have many cause I'm pretty chill, but one thing I really dislike is interacting with someone who constantly complains about getting no attention. They talk negative a lot, vague post about people who interact with them but claim they're being ignored. Idk it's just a huge turn off. I understand that we get depressed or don't have many interactions or seem really small, but the passive aggressive posting ain't it for me.

muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ) — All of it. I will write just about anything with my muses. It's the beauty of writing. Ofc if only my rp partner is comfortable with it. I'm kinda weak at fighting scenes with my strengths being in fluff and slice of life I suppose.

plot or memes — Both. Sometimes plots come easy, sometimes my brain is on vacation. Memes are fun for shorter threads or getting a plot started. I'm just versatile like that I guess.

long or short replies — Any. I don't care I'll make it work. I think the only thing that might bother me is writing something long and thought out and getting barely something in return often 💀

best time to write — When ever I'm not at work. It's not often or for long tho most of the time.

are you like your muse — Hmm, some of them? Some of them, but I wouldn't be able to pinpoint who 😂

Tagged: I stole

Tagging: Hahuhe everyone.

[crystalcatgamer]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tag by @havenotwillnotreadthebooks, lo, Kefi!

How many works do you have on AO3?

122 🎵 I’ve orphaned and deleted a few along the years, though.

What fandoms do you write for?

Uhhhh. Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint (ORV), Boboiboy, Jujutsu Kaisen and more. Currently really, really fixated on One Piece though I haven’t written fic yet, but am cooking so much toxic doomed brothers food (Donquixote Bros)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Vis la goddamn DSMP phase always going to be my biggest mark in the world. Excluding discontinued fics and stuff I’m not happy with anymore for now…

Run, run (Here comes the boy) 1415 kudos

May the odds (Be ever in your favour) 1203 kudos

There are days where I don’t know the person in the mirror (And there are days I don’t care) 1161 kudos

Hold you in my hands like hot tea 1155 kudos

Knowing I’m safe cause you want me 1052 kudos (A sequel to fourth place!)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I respond to every single comment I can, though sometimes I might miss some! I’ll catch them months later lmao. It’s always fun to chat with ppl about what’s in my fic

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I’ll call out your name, but you won’t call back. This is an ORV fic, doomed Doksoo (beloved) and since it’s canon compliant… yeah. ‘Twas full of angst that came from love.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The deep blue of summer nights. This was a cute ORV fic born of me wanting to write Secretive Plotter’s birthday being celebrated by ABFD, SWK and Uriel! They’re my fav rare dynamic

Do you get hate on fics?

I think the closest I got was some discourse on my DSMP fic? To be expected, and it was cleared up soon enough!

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I did like years ago lmao, tucked into the depths of the internet. Definitely not on main, for this is a family friendly account sir. It was fun in a way but also I hated writing it most of the time??? More of a reader than a writer I would say. As for what kind… while, I wrote what I liked ☆

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I HAVE THREE (3) CROSSOVERS AND THEY’RE BOTH WITH JUJUTSU KAISEN. Maybe I’m more insane over JJK then I thought I was. In my defence they’re easy to cross. Okay so basically my craziest one is this ORV X JJK one (Something blue, something new) in which I wrote the ship Kim Dokja x Gojo Satoru because I was commissioned to

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope and I hope I never do!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not, but as long as people ask first I’m always open to it.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A FNAF fic I wrote with Kefi (the one who pinged me for this game): Many vegetables, one soup, and a work full of original poems with @thenamelesshaven: You are made of the sea and the stars (and one day you are going to find yourself again)

What’s your all time favourite ship?

[glances at my art gallery] Recently, LawLu from One Piece and… Sharron/Maric from Lord Of The Mysteries

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

We Shouldn’t Be This Kind Of Tired At Our Age! An ORV fic featuring Yoo Mia witnessing Yoo Joonghyuk’s changes with every turn!

What are your writing strengths?

Uhhhh. Being able to churn out stuff at the speed of light. And writing angst (lol)

What are your writing weaknesses?

Actually having a proper outline, ehe. It’s why I usually write one-shots.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Uhhhh I? Might do it some day? I’m just a bilingual guy who barely passed Chinese. It’s cool when other people who know what they’re writing about do it in their fics tho.

First fandom you wrote for?

Ehe. VIS LA BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA (MY HERO ACADEMIA) but the fic’s been orphaned to the void ✌🏻

Favourite fic you’ve written?

Woah. Tough question, scrambling for it… this one! when I look in his eyes, well, I just see the sky. It’s a Black Butler fic I wrote recently for Whumptober (2023), Elizabeth Midford centric! I love her a lot <3

[satorugojoswiife]

I also think that a lot of why people (myself included) say that they want gojo to come back is because gojos death was kind of done poorly and rushed. And like the only explanation for how kind of bad it was is that he’ll come back? Like there were several other ways to nerf him that would have been satisfying for his character (like losing his six eyes). He would have to live just as Satoru Gojo not as ‘the strongest’ which would be interesting for his character because that’s all he’s ever known. Killing him off also didn’t really move the plot either. Maybe there’s some stuff we’ll find out about later down the line that’s will make me feel differently but like you wasted almost five months with this Sukuna fight just for it to end like that and now we’re back at square one before the fight started. You could have kept gojo in the prison realm and gotten the same affect. But I guess we’ll have to see how the series progresses to have a better understanding. Also, I noticed how his afterlife scene was similar to Kakashi’s with his dad so if you wanted more gojo will come delusions here ya go😂

Its always hard to judge when it's not complete. Especially since geges writing relies alot on flashbacks. I'm guessing we will get more flashbacks that might fill the gaps in and make things feel more complete, but who knows 😭

tbh I've seen the sentiment that alot of people think the fight was a waste of time, but I actually don't feel that way towards it. Other than it being a really cool fight (im a big battle shounen nerd so a big part of my enjoyment from jjk is just the cool fights lol) I actually think it showed us an interesting side of both gojo and sukuna. It was almost ....wholesome (?) in a way to see the two of them have so much fun finally getting to face an opponent they deemed to be their equal. Both share alot of similarities and honestly can probably understand eachother in a way no one else can. Despite the circumstances, this fight was probably one of the happiest times in each of their lives. I think it was an interesting thing to showcase for both of their characters.

seeing sukuna afterwards and his final words to gojo were also oddly sweet (????) Some of it is lost in translation, but here's an explanation of one of the lines in jp that sukuna says to gojo at the end:

"You cleared my skies, Gojo Satoru" like ???? Same, sukuna, same. 😭

Anyways sorry to get off topic and ramble. I think for now I'll still hold off on judging how things were executed until I can finally see the full story. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me tho! I really like listening to other people's perspectives on things !! :)

And omg yes the Kakashi parallels!!! how many times will I be hurt by a mangaka over the potential death of a white haired sensei character 💀

[andaniellight]

you're one of the most memorable authors that i liked back in my jujutsu kaisen phase and knowing you're currently into one piece now as a multishipper and i'm actually this 👌🏻 close to have a ship in one piece as well (possibly zolu or zosan tbh) thanks to you, do you ship anyone with anyone else in one piece? if there aren't, can i know your headcanons towards the one piece ships that you ship?

HI ! HELLO ! ! !

Oh, shit, "one of the most memorable authors"? Where did that come from! Genuinely, what a title. Either way, I'm honored tho, thank you so much :D Forever grateful that people letting me know they liked my stuff, so I hope you enjoyed your stay in this shit show of mine (assuming you must've been following me since, what, 1 year ago? 2 years ago?) !!! I truly thank you for giving all of my stories a chance back in JJK phase <3 and sorry if they ever broke your heart......

Now, for other ships in One Piece beside ZoLu and ZoSan (and please keep in mind that that means I also ship ZoLuSan ok HAHAH), I'll have to warn you first that this answer will wander every where since my thoughts are all over the place.

I really like Frobin's dynamics (Franky & Robin). I love them as much as I love Nami and Vivi's dynamics. Thanks to that particular scene where Robin turned into a literal angel growing a pair of wings to save Franky from falling, I guess? Also realized that Frobin is basically a ship of 'a character who has/grew up with siblings x a character who's an only child' something something. And, I know, as I write this down, a lot of people would think that 'oh what a cheap reason to ship characters like that', but I do have the tendencies of shipping characters in critical moments (?)

Or, if I'm allowed to summarize it, my One Piece ships are basically a bunch of "a character with a very specific and precise personal dream to achieve that they don't really think it might effect the others so greatly so long they get to experience a life of their own and feel truly alive" x "a character whose dream is to 'serve' other people because they know they're capable and are willing to go the extra miles to prove that it is such the greatest ability to have"

That's how I started shipping ZoLu in the first place anyway; in a huge critical moment that had a lifechanging impact. Luffy shielding Zoro from bullets on a whim on their first meeting with 0 hesitation not only because he could do it without dying but also he knew Zoro would suffer further in the most unfair way (because bullets hurt normal human, okay? AND ZORO WAS TIED DEFENSELESS) WHICH THEN turns into Zoro repaying that to Luffy right away but still he stayed by his side, even decided to devote his life for this silly lil guy who just saved him despite knowing Luffy must be a much stronger person than him because of the devil fruit he ate the sheer willpower Luffy has and has shown whenever he announces about this dream to be the king of the pirates (an even more insane dream than Zoro's, and Zoro understood this as well).

The same thing for Nami and Vivi. The build up of their bond in Alabasta was just [chef kiss] MWAH. Postponing each other's priorities to prioritizes the other's needs instead. Nami understood what a grave dread Vivi was feeling for her oppressed country she'd rather die than letting her to feel that even longer, shared sentiments and whatnot, but Vivi feared for Nami's life in the brink of death because of a deadly illness and it's louder and fiercer than anyone could expect. Their backstory are so similar in a way but they did what they had to because of different reasons entirely. This kind of mindset I believe was an offspring or some sort from how they grew up where they had to "betray" their loved ones, by abandoning them temporarily, for the sake of their loved ones' safety.

And for Frobin... Robin used to disregard her life so easily because she has no one else left that she cared about, but now, she has a dream to find the Rio Poneglyph which tells the True History of the One Piece world including the Void Century, continuing the research of her mother Nico Olvia and her old mentor Clover. While Franky on the other hand has a dream to build a ship to go on countless adventures and see that ship reach "Laugh Tale", and this dream of his was based on the discipline of kindness he's built along the people he cared about and still continues to care about despite the distance and everything.

Anyways. Those are pretty much a handful of ships that I ship aside from ZoLu that have, at least, "patterns", and a couple of layers of why-s they're interesting to ship, to me. Unlike ZoSan, which, I basically ship solely based on horny reasons-

[psychewritesbs]

It's the JJK writing ask one here! I really like reading your thoughts on the matter and truly give me a lot of great insight. I did want a little more of hakari during his fight when i saw your hakari panel insert (hehe i love him) but he's very entertaining. I honestly believe I will always adore the story despite my own personal issues with it because although I want to see its ending, I have enjoyed reading it when I started it. I really like what you said about failing and I agreed immensely with that. This is more personal, but I do believe that failure leads to growth and I'm curious to see what he can do in the future. I can try and imagine his reasoning for going the way he did with cg but spending that time doing that just seems kind of pointless when the manga is still ongoing. I do try to balance my negatives with my positives and take the story as it is. After all, we won't be certain if the cg was more than he could chew or not until the story is probably done. But, yes, wanting the destination has been a thought I like to selfishly indulge in and I'm terribly impatient I must say haha! Despite my own personal frustrations, I can't say I like having too many expectations, especially regarding jjk. Whether it's intentional or not, gege kind of keeps me on my toes and it can be pretty fun after a while whether I end up liking it or not Authors can be really spontaneous when it comes to their stories and we don't really know what changes they undergo especially as people or in a mangakas case how harsh they take the industry in general and how it affects their choices when it comes to their story. My optimism is not always up to 100%, but i do believe that while criticism is natural and i encourage it to have really rich dicsussions, a constant state of negativity for any series isn't all that beneficial. Anyway, I still love thinking about JJK and thank you for reading all my word vomits, I really appreciate it and you. If it's no trouble I might have another ask in regards to hana/yuji/megumi.

HOLA HOLA!

Yessssss for insights! 

Hiding the word vomit under the cut :)

So glad we both vomit words like there’s no tomorrow 🤮dfkjsd ;bgs.

“This is more personal, but I do believe that failure leads to growth”

Honestly? This is one of the things I struggle with the most. Sometimes I have such a hard time just allowing myself to not be perfect and giving myself the grace of being a flawed human.

GASP WHAT IF I FAIL AND OTHERS CAN SEE HOW HUMAN I AM?!

The irony is that I am such a romantic about fictional characters that are depicted as “flawed humans”.

Also. Don't let me fool you tho. I'm totally such a shit talker 😂.

I recently finished a Gundam Seed re-watch that left me perplexed. 

I’ve come to the conclusion that the writers were both REALLY GOOD because they wrote the kind of melodramatic masterpiece that only a melodramatic teenage girl would love, but also REALLY BAD because they wrote the kind of melodramatic masterpiece that only a melodramatic teenage girl would love.

But to go back to my point of “what is good enough for you?” and finding reasons to love a story... while I won’t be watching Gundam Seed any time soon (or quite possibly ever again unless it’s in fast forward or in gifsets), the re-watch was totally worth it because the show has one of my OG anime crushes and OG OTPs. 

In my opinion, both Athrun as an individual, Cagalli as an individual, and the pairing itself actually happen to have some of the best writing in the series--I seriously think these two carry the show on their shoulders in terms of writing ability.

Shameless Athrun and Cagalli plug because I have been looking for an excuse to use this gif because it’s one of my favorite scenes with them. Also, did I mention they make me fangirl like a melodramatic teenage girl?

Point being, I’ve been vocal about the writing being bad in Gundam Seed and I think all 15 people still engaging in the fandom have probably blocked me by now bahaha.

So... yeah: 

“I do believe that while criticism is natural and i encourage it to have really rich dicsussions, a constant state of negativity for any series isn't all that beneficial”

I totally agree with you and love how you put it :)

“Despite my own personal frustrations, I can't say I like having too many expectations, especially regarding jjk. Whether it's intentional or not, gege kind of keeps me on my toes and it can be pretty fun after a while whether I end up liking it or not”

Yessssss. This is what I’ve always loved about JJK.

Unpredictable story-telling my beloved. 

I think another thing that’s helped me stay with JJK a lot is that I can self-insert my psyche into Megumi’s character. I simply adore Megumi.

Have I mentioned that before? Yes? Ok. No worries I’ll probably say it again a bunch more times lol.

I simply adore Megumi and think he’s stupidly beautifully written.

“If it's no trouble I might have another ask in regards to hana/yuji/megumi.”

Awesome, I’ll do my best to answer if if you do get around to sending it!

Good talk good talk!

Thanks again for vomiting words with me, Recurring Anon :)

[rwqv]

bro mahito was such a good villain like he was the first villain that genuinely pissed me off.,, his writing is soo good i love it so bad but like comeee ONNNN

DADDYJAKU IS CRAZY WORK but i sgree full heartedly

pls im doubling over in pain godd GODDD i luv jjk analyses especially with megumi. no matter how bad i love gojo, megumi will always be my favoeite with his writing. my brother was super annoyed that he kept summoning mahoraga, kept flashbacking to sukuna sayinf "thats kinda a waste of your talents right?" and kept flashbacking to gojo saying hes not using all his potential ... but thats the point!!!!!!!!! hes falling behind compared to yuji and he knows it ... and hes super depressed and hes willing to summon mahoraga so much because he literally does NOT care about his life in the slightest that man actively wants to kill himself... UGHHH AND HIM BEING CALLED POTENTIAL MAN LIKE DID U GUYS EVEN READ SLASH WATCH THE SHOW...... THATS THE POINT hes like a foil of yuji AND a parallel to geto.

yghhh yuji sarcrifuce would tear me apart like i literally gave birth to yuji hes my baby my sonnn ... but i cant lie that would be a great ending

plot twist gojo comes back talking about some "im for real real!" LMFAOOOOOO jk ... as mych as i truth him to come back i think his like character development and arc was at a good enough point for him to die. like nanami's character did seem fully fleshed oht when he died but nobara (at the time) didnt seem that developed when gege killed her. but shes back baby so maybe we'll see more of her (in the remaining 5 chapters ........)

YES OMG UGH the gojo 30 questions was like the smallest glimpse we had of the gojo clan. what do you MEAN his parents are still alive and everythint TELL ME MOREEEUHHH..

did u see getos mom was on the popularity list thing rven tho we've never seen him LMFAOOO i just know shes bad asf

oh my god imb so mad. i wrote up a full lengthy response but i crashed and everythkng got deleted. ill type up what i remember but its pretty bad 😭 i was cooking before it gor deleted

ANYWAYS

i never actually thought of megumi that way holy shit… esp with the fight between toji and him in shibuya… like father: 0 cursed energy, no weapon vs. son: the 10 shadows technique and all his shikigami and he still “lost”. megumi would probably win if he couldve apply himself better. he def feels left behind just like geto did when gojo surpassed him quickly thats horrible

i feel so much more sympathetic to megumi now i feel bad 😢

ALSO ABOUT HOW HES DEPRESSED AND EVERYTHING AND WANTS TO DIE BECAUSE OF SUKUNA INHABITING HIM AND USING MEGUMI AS A WEAPON

i do also think gojos character arc is pretty finished. like i want him to come back but also he feels completed. he was the strongest but he lost (mommyraga saved sukunas ass) . gojo finally did what no one thought could be done, and he could no longer be used as a weapon (not cool yuta 😡) and he died on the same day that geto did + on the most romantic day.. i think gojo should finally truely rest now (with his shitty ass sleeping schedule he needs it)

to add on, gojo killed his best friend and had to watch as his adopted son was used as a weapon to kill him he needs to lay down and sleep. his whole sense of family too is pretty messed up w the clan things and also riko (i think they have a sibling bond but also it seems like he doesnt fully like her but that might just be siblings) and everyone who came close to him died

more things about the clan workings would have been cool too!1 the story only sorta fleshed out zenin but what about kamo? or gojo? like what would gojos parents think about gojo dying and stuff like that? the clans are supposed to be like a big part of jujutsu society but i feel like they barely get any screentime. did he love his parents? did his parents love him? did anyone love him as a kid? how did the clans clash back then?? like PPPLLLEEASSE WHAT ABOUT NORITOSHI AND HIS CLAMMN WHY

my point is gege is leaving so much open like the merger€? more character interactions would definitely allow people to feel better… what about cursed tools backstories? cursed speech clan? international sorcerers? i know everyone was like jjk is dragging on and everything but 5 chapters could not resolve these plotppoints

10 spinoff series with all slice of life fluff now PLS

GETOS MOM WOULD DEF BE A BADDIE all of his genes are from her majestic ahh bro… that nurse kenjaku(geto) relly shows it

OOH MY GOD I THOUGHT I POSTED THIS EARLIER WJOOPS SORRY

[redr0sewrites]

hii i saw your post ab getting more fluffy asks !! and behold !! say no more !!

NUMBER ONE. i jus wanted to say that your page is so aesthetic. ilove the red theme, the pfp, ALL OF IT. THE CHANGES ARE JUST MWAHHHH

(i lowkey disappeared for a bit, its 🤭 anon. ik u prob made the changes forever ago tho)

NUMBER TWO. i also noticed that acotar is one of your favorite fandoms to write for - i havent read the series yet, can you tell me what it's about pls

AND NUMBER THREE. I've just finished watching hazbin hotel after my friends kidnapped me and forced me to binge-watch all of it (it was really good) bahaha. do you have any hcs about what a normal day might lead? consider that my 'request'

but yea thats ab it. and one last question, have you read/watched jjk, or are interested?

🤭 anon !!

AAA HIII 🤭 ANON!!!! its been soo long i missed having u in my inbox <\3

1- AAAA TYYYY!!!! I JUST CHANGED MY THEME LIKE 2 DAYS AGO LMAO IM SO HAPPY U LIKE IT IM V EXCITED AB IT ASJDJDJJD

2- AA i love acotar sm but i definitely prefer the fanon to the actual story. its one of those pieces of media where the original story is decent, but its the fandom and fanfiction that really makes it special. i would def recommend reading it, but it is very smut-heavy and a lot more romance than plot sometimes. my personal fav character (eris vanserra) is like the sidest of side characters and i lowkey pushed through the entire series solely for crumbs of him 😭 but yea it's pretty good, esp for one of those high fae fairy fantasy smut novels

3- ooo omg!! i def think that charlie makes the group do lots of fun activities throughout the day, and they all spend time together. i really like found family dynamics, so i love the thought that they all live and work together just like a real family! i love the idea that they have movie nights, they all cook together, they divide chores, theyre just all very domestic in general (alastor always gets in the way but they tolerate love him regardless!)

i have not watched jjk but it seems pretty interesting! a lot of my mutuals like it and im considering watching it cuz the animation seems v good. its not at the top of my watchlist but i will probably get around to it eventually, if only to see what all the hype is about

TYSM FOR ASKINGGGG FEEL FREE TO COME BACK TO MY INBOX ANYTIME AJSJSJ ♥️♥️♥️

[fighterbound]

ROLEPLAY HISTORY!

The rules are simple! Post characters you’d like to roleplay as, have roleplayed as, and might bring back. Then tag ten people to do the same (if you can’t think of ten, just write down however many you can and tag that number of people). Please repost, don’t reblog!

CURRENT MUSE/S : ( aka ones i write the most )

sasuke uchiha / naruto

naruto uzumaki / naruto

hinata hyuga / naruto

katsuki bakugou / bnha

WANT TO WRITE :( more of included )

mei narumiya ( diamond no ace)

a ff7 character...thinking of zack ( i read a fic and was sold

dimitri alexandre blaiddyd / fe3h

izuku midoriya / bnha

hitoshi shinsou / bnha

kushina uzumaki / naruto ( comes and goes tho

itachi uchiha / naruto ( fickle

konan / naruto (fickle

HAVE WRITTEN :

neji hyuga / naruto

mikoto uchiha / naruto

fugaku uchiha / naruto

kyuubi / kurama / naruto

yuta okkotsu / jjk

sakura haruno / naruto

boruto uzumaki / naruto

konohamaru sarutobi / naruto

kiba inuzuka / naruto

ino yamanka / naruto

hana inuzuka / naruto

diana / league of legends

claude von riegan / fe3h

hilda valentine goneril / fe3h

yuji itadori / jjk

tenten / naruto

konan / naruto

itachi uchiha / naruto

obito uchiha / naruto

WOULD WRITE AGAIN :

yuta / fe3h

hilda / fe3h

claude / fe3h

yuji / jjk ( maybe )

tagged by: saw it on the dash and it looked fun! c:

[lynn-writes-things]

Ok you touched upon it in your GOD TIER relationship writing but could you do headcanons for the jjk men that focus on how possessive and/or jealous they are with their partner? ☺️ Thanks

oh ASBOLUTELY I can!! thank you for the request!! :) I'm lovin' these haha

jealousy, jealousy - jjk men

starring: Yuji Itadori; Megumi Fushiguro; Yuta Okkotsu; Toge Inumaki; Noritoshi Kamo; Satoru Gojo; Suguru Geto; Toji Fushiguro; Naoya Zenin; Choso Kamo; Ryomen Sukuna

cw: some of these get pretty suggestive!! ; very very very brief mention of a knife k!nk in Toji's, but I promise I did not elaborate at all I promise <3

Yuji Itadori:

1/10

he only really gets jealous if you're laughing at some guy's jokes if he doesn't already know him, cause he likes being the person to make you laugh the most :(

ngl he gets a teensy bit pouty even if one of his friends make you laugh harder than he does :((

he's not overbearing tho, he gets that you're your own person and can talk to/laugh with whoever you want, but he might get a bit irked every now and then

he'll probably come up and throw his arms around you, or kiss your cheek, and tbh he's such a social dude that he'd probably start talking to the guy

(tbh they'd probably become friends, it's Yuji, man just goes around being his sweet himbo self and ends up collecting a new buddy everywhere he goes)

Megumi Fushiguro:

7/10? mayyybe 8/10?

he's super insecure in himself, having such a rollercoaster of an upbringing will do that to ya'

idk he just doesn't see himself as being as he really is, he's got a lot of childhood trauma that keeps his self-confidence stunted

(because evidently Fushiguro men cannot grasp the concept of therapy)

he'll either come up and grab your hand/pull you into a side hug or somethin' along those lines

nothing too extreme, he's not big on pda ya know?

OR he gets really pouty and reserved

you'll have to get him alone and ask him what's wrong, pls help him figure out how to talk through his problems dude, he needs the helping hand

reassurance and affection will fix him right up, don't you worry!!

the key to fixing a pouty Megumi is just lots of love <3

ngl if you're gonna throw in some minimal spice here, he'd totally be the type to mark you up that night (probably not anywhere too visible, he's still Megumi, still a very easily flustered baby boy <3)

Yuta Okkotsu:

2/10

he's got a bit of insecurity in himself, but ever since making friends with his classmates he's really gotten better with his confidence!

sure, dating you kinda shook his nerves back up, but he trusts you completely, he doesn't think you'd ever cheat on him, so he doesn't really get too worried about it ya know?

that's MOST of the time

sometimes someone will just rub him the wrong way and he'll step in, usually just kinda hugging you from behind or kissing your cheek/forehead or somethin' like that

he'll definitely make a point of calling you by a cute petname while doing it too

like a lil' "Hey baby!" or "Hi, love!!" :) <3

Toge Inumaki:

7/10, bordering an 8/10

he's just.. insecure :(

between the seals on his mouth and his limited speech, he just doesn't really feel like he can give you the kind of love that you deserve

cause he's too worried about uncovering his mouth to kiss you in public, and he can't fucking talk to you

it just makes him feel bad, like you deserve better

that being said, he doesn't wanna lose you, so he will absolutely fight for you if someone tries to flirt with you

he's got no issue with other forms of pda, so he'll come over and wrap his arms around you, put his head on your shoulder, or he'll just straight up grab your arm and pull you away (not hard, baby boy would never ever hurt you)

he might get pretty pouty tho, probably get pretty in his own head about it

so you'll have to kiss him and hold his hand and reassure him that you love him, that he's more than enough for you, and that you'd never want anyone else - just him <3

now.... I have touched on this......

if Toge can TELL that you're playing it up and TRYING to make him jealous?

ngl it kinda turns him on if you're doing it on purpose lmoa

this mf is NOT afraid to leave visible hickeys <3

let's just say he's gonna make damn sure that you know you are his <3

Noritoshi Kamo:

hmmmmmmmmmm, 5/10? maybe?

idk it's hard to gauge with him cause he refuses to act on his feelings for the sake of saving face publicly

like he absolutely gets jealous, but he'll never really show how jealous he is

he'll just kinda come up and say that he needs you for something

or generally come up with an excuse for you needing to leave

if he's REALLY jealous then he'll lead you away with his hand on your wrist or arm

he's definitely the type to talk to you about it once you're alone together

you won't have to force it out of him (like a certain somebody) cause he wants to clear things up right away

he's got enough stress goin' on, he doesn't want your relationship to be stressful too, so he's big on communication <3

he's a verrry affectionate guy in private, so if you reassure him of your love and give him lots of cuddles and kisses then he'll relax and be happy <3 :)

Satoru Gojo:

9/10 if you add in the possessive factor

if we take away the possessiveness, mayyyybe closer to like a 4/10

Gojo is one cocky son of a bitch, but he is also a fucking ball of bottled up trauma, ya know?

he trusts you as much as he can, but again, trauma comes into play here

man has deep rooted trust issues and until he properly addresses and works through them with you, he can't allow himself to fully trust that you won't leave him out of nowhere too

ANYWAYS

he's good at fronting ya know? so if someone's making him jealous, he's apt to just cling to you like a child and flash the dude the cockiest fuckin' grin after he kisses your cheek super obnoxiously (we're talking full blown "shmack!" noises)

"Made a new friend, my lil' mochi? Whatcha talkin' about? Hm?"

nowwwww if you TRY making him jealous, he will not take the bait

he will simply wait until you are alone (even if that means dragging you into a closet somewhere) and uh... he'll make sure everyone in a nearby radius hears you say exaactly who you belong to <3

Suguru Geto:

ahhhhh, the cunning, conniving, cocky bastard himself <3

0/10 tbh

like I said in the other post, he's too confident in himself and in his trust for you to really get jealous

he is possessive tho, but in a really cocky way??

if he sees someone getting a lil too friendly with you, he'll come right up and sling his arm around you, kiss your temple, and just join right into the conversation

if the guy stops talking (cause Suguru is fucking intimidating with how calm and collected he carries himself) then he's very quick to fill the silence

"Oh, don't stop on my account. You were saying? Something about how nice my baby looks, right? Go on, continue, aren't they stunning?"

all the while he's got this mf look in his eyes, his smug ass grin, he doesn't even have to say anything to get the message across

"Bet you wish you were me, huh?"

ngl there's also a quiet implied threat, like he's daring the guy to actually speak up

alternatively he will give you a look

I'm thinkin one eyebrow slightly raised, unamused expression

this mostly happens if you're the one trying to make him jealous

all in all this look of his towards you has a very clear message of "Get over here now or you will regret it"

yes sir 🛐

Kento Nanami:

another 0/10

not the jealous type, he trusts you completely and he's pretty confident in himself

he's very good at communication, and he's willing to do anything to make things work, so he's not worried about anyone stealing you away from him

the only time I can really see him stepping in is if someone's flirting with you and you're clearly uncomfortable and the guy isn't letting up

it's then that your big strong prince charming will swoop in and put his arm around you, or just kinda step in front of you and firmly tell the guy that you are taken

Nanami can be a pretty intimidating guy when he wants to be, so it's very likely that the guy will back off

if not? well, Nanami knows how to fight, and he isn't afraid to get his hands dirty if it means saving you from some creep <3

oh-ho, but if you try to make him jealous? giggling, maybe throwing in some light touches to the guy's bicep or somethin?

he knows what you're doing. ha.. haha.... oh honey, you ain't walkin' tomorrow :)

Toji Fushiguro:

hehe

10/10, possibly an 11/10

like I said, my man's a double whammy, he's jealous AND possessive

he trusts you to the best of his abilities, but it's very very hard for him, ya know?

everyone who was supposed to love him growing up only ever hurt him, then the one person who he loved, who taught him how to love and to be loved, fucking died

so, he's scared, trusting somebody scares the hell out of him, but he does trust you as much as he can let himself (it'll get better as time goes on, but ya know, it's just gonna take a bit)

basically what I'm getting at here, he's still not totally certain that you're gonna stick around (and quite honestly, he doesn't know why you do in the first place)

he is also MAD possessive tho, you are his and he does not intend on sharing <3

if he sees another man so much as look at you twice then he's pulling you closer, wrapping his arm around you, kissing you, throwin' out lil "Hey there, doll" and stuff like that

if you happen to be away from him (say he went to the bathroom or something) and comes back to see some guy with you, if you look even mildly uncomfortable, or if he can see you trying to get the dude to leave you alone, and he won't.......

hehe, that dude is gonna be napping for a bit! ......on the ground! ...........in the middle of the bar! ......he might wanna invest in some concealer for the black eye tho :')

he's scared you're gonna leave, but make no mistake, nobody is fuckin' takin' you from him without a mf fight

no matter the circumstance, a jealous Toji is a very good assurance that you uh.. yeah.. yeah I think you get where I'm goin' with this

he is not afraid to leave visible marks on that pretty neck of yours <3

ngl my knife k!nk is gonna scare people away here so I'm just gonna keep that on inside! use your imagination!! :)

Naoya Zenin:

8/10

he's honestly a pretty insecure guy who tries to act overly confident to mask it cause his clan taught him that any signs of weakness will make him unworthy

his family is just so damn strict with him, always has been, always making him feel like if he makes one slight wrong move then he's just a total fuck up

that translates to his relationship with you, he's terrified of making a mistake, he's constantly overthinking things and feels like he's screwing things up with you all the time

he just never feels like he's "good enough"

that being said, if someone's gonna try and steal you from him, they're in for a fuckin' fight

much like Toji, he may be insecure, but he loves you too much to let anybody take you away from him <3

if someone's flirting with you - hell, if some guy so much as looks at you wrong - he's grabbing you and kissing you

not a peck, no, he'll kiss you like it's the last thing he's ever gonna do

he's gonna leave you breathless and EVERYONE is gonna know that you're his <3

Choso Kamo:

1/10

I was gonna give him a 0/10, but I started thinking more about this

he's not quite a cocky man, but he is very sure of himself and confident

and for him to love you means that he trusts you completely

but he knows that he's kinda.. not really up to date on a lot of things

he wonders a lot why you'd rather be with him than someone who can relate more to you and understand your little references

(help, now I'm just picturing Choso as fucking Steve Rodgers, after you start introducing him to more media he'll just start fucking going "I understood that reference!!" and be so proud of himself)

ANYWAYS

like I said tho, he isn't much a jealous guy, but he is cautious, so he'll step in if he sees you talking to a guy he doesn't know

either just stands by you lookin' all intimidating, or he'll wrap his arms around you

he won't say anything to the guy, I think he'd just kinda stand there (menacingly), givin' the guy a look

if he does recognize the guy then he's a lot more chill about it, unless the guy happens to be a known slut like Gojo or Geto

even then, he knows they won't try anything if he's by you, so he'll just be a lil extra clingy <3

Ryomen Sukuna:

0/10 for jealousy, 1000/10 for possessiveness

ain't NOBODY touching you <3

some guy dares to flirt with you? haha, hey buddy, how's hell treatin' ya?

if he's in a good mood then murder can be avoided, but the guy will prooobably be scared shitless when faced with a big scary Sukuna giving him a death-glare

big scary guard dog <3

he also doesn't ever leave your side because of his possessiveness, like he is always right there, always holding onto you in some way or another

you are his and he will not fucking share <3

no one shall even have the slightest chance <3

oh, but I mean, obviously if he gets even mildly riled up, he's obviously gonna have to "remind you" that you're his, and his alone :) <3