#(i mean. lacey has hinted at some stuff but still what do you MEAN)
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Here’s how I spent my day:
- Read your snippet of the Landoscar Fake Dating AU and nearly died from anticipation??!!
- Made myself a cup of tea and rewatched Landoscar McLaren reels on instagram
- Read Lacey’s Lestappen & Landoscar Mission Universe sequel and cried tears of laughter followed by tears of pain
- Took a nap because I was emotionally challenged
- Read Celine’s Landoscar Happily Ever After fic and died from cuteness overload
- Binge watched Oscar’s prema videos because, again, was feeling CUTE
- Read Leaf’s Negative Splits AU while watching a hockey game in the background (fitting!)
And I just want to say: you Landoscar fic writers are KILLING IT. I love that there aren’t a TON of fics (though that number is rising!), all the fics that exist are absolutely top notch. Thank you for your service.
I’m also sorry if I assumed people’s names here, I know people have Tumblr names that aren’t actually their real names 🙈
anon that sounds like an absolutely top notch day very very jealous. i too am obsessed with landoscar fic writers dO THEY KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM genuinly lie awake at night worrying about this
thank you for this wonderful message anon, hope your tomorrow is just as great as your today <3
#v worried about your comments on the mission landoscar sequel i havent read it yet#what do you MEAN tears of pain what do you MEAN#(i mean. lacey has hinted at some stuff but still what do you MEAN)#also BEYOND hyped for celine's kid fic you have no IDEA#and negative splits my beloved#dead serious top three fave landoscar fics of all time
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Heatstroke - chapter 23/24
I was planning on this being the final chapter, but it got away from me, so it's the penultimate chapter instead :)
Last time, Gold and Lacey banged :D
Word count: 3,721
[AO3]
x
Gold made her dinner, fillet steak with a sauce made from beef stock, red wine and rosemary, alongside soft, creamy mashed potatoes and carrots glazed with butter. They drank wine with it, rich and red, and afterwards carried the dessert upstairs to bed, where they took turns spooning dark chocolate mousse and raspberries into their mouths until their lips were sticky and sweet. Gold watched as Lacey sucked the last of the chocolate mousse from her spoon and dropped it into the glass dish with a contented sigh.
“That,” she said. “Was pretty bloody amazing. You can definitely cook.”
“Thank you.”
He set the dish on the nightstand, handing her a glass of wine, and Lacey wriggled, sitting up against the pillows as she took it. Darcy had curled up at the end of the bed with his tail over his nose, and Lacey gestured at him with a foot.
“You do realise now he’s been up here, he’s probably gonna spend as much time sleeping in your bed as he does mine,” she said, and Gold grinned.
“I don’t mind that too much,” he said. “Maybe he’ll keep the mice away.”
“No sign of that so far,” she remarked. “Not that I’ve seen any mice. Only rats.”
“You’ve seen rats around here?” he asked, surprised, and she shrugged.
“I saw one the day I moved in,” she said. “Standing on his hind legs, bold as brass. Not the best welcome gift, to be honest.”
“I don’t suppose it was.”
“Yeah, Darcy came to get me to chase it off,” she said casually. “So if you’re hoping he’ll deal with any vermin that turn up, you’re out of luck. Turns out he’s a coward.”
Gold laughed.
“Well, he’s a very handsome coward,” he said. “If we get a rodent problem I can always deal with it another way. I can’t say I’ve seen any rats here, though.”
“I guess it might have wandered in from the forest,” she acknowledged. “I was worried there might be a nest of the little buggers, but I haven’t seen any since then. It was definitely male, though. All big balls and unimpressive cock.”
Gold blinked as a feeling of déjà vu washed over him.
“Really?” he asked neutrally.
“Yeah.” She wriggled onto her side, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Have you ever seen a rat’s balls? They’re huge!”
“I can’t say I’ve looked all that closely,” he said, and licked his lips. “Uh - you said his - other equipment - was somewhat lacking.”
“Yeah. Minuscule.” She held up her little finger. “Still, I guess they manage okay, right?”
“Right,” he said, and hesitated. “And this was the day you moved in?”
“As I was carrying my stuff in.”
“Uh-huh.” He sucked his teeth, nodding slowly. “You - didn’t happen to mention this to Miss Lucas in the bar that night, did you?”
“Huh.” Lacey pursed her lips, a vague expression on her face. “Yeah, I did. Why?”
Gold sighed heavily.
“Because I might have thought you were talking about me.”
Lacey stared at him for a moment, mouth slightly open, then burst out laughing. It bubbled out of her, washing over him as her eyes sparkled with mirth, and he felt a little of his awkwardness melt away.
“You thought I was telling Ruby about what you were packing?” she giggled, and he shrugged.
“Let’s just say I overheard your conversation and made some assumptions.”
“Yeah, well, that’s what you get for eavesdropping,” she said, and pushed up on her elbow. “Wish you hadn’t?”
“Yes,” he admitted.
“Good.” She planted a kiss on his cheek. “Because your assumptions were shit.”
“That happens more often than you might think,” he said, and she giggled again.
“Oh, but I’m definitely telling Ruby about your junk now,” she said, and winked at him. “She did ask for a blow by blow description if you and I ever got up to anything.”
“In that case.” Gold put down his wine. “I’d better give you lots to talk about.”
-
Lacey stretched, eyes closed, mouth widening in a grin as she felt the press of hot flesh against her own. She was nestled in soft sheets, Gold’s arm around her waist and his cool breath on the back of her neck, making her shudder in pleasure. Morning light was shining through a tiny gap in the curtains, sending a shaft of golden dawn across the bed and making the pink walls glow. The bed smelled of musk and sex and the faintest hint of his cologne, and she wriggled, turning in his arms to kiss his chest. At the touch of her lips he inhaled sharply, body stiffening as he woke, and she heard a contented rumble from deep in his chest as his arms went around her.
“Morning,” she said, and sucked at his nipple.
Gold jerked, snickering, and tugged her close against him so that she had to kiss back up his chest to get some air. He pushed her onto her back, one hand sliding down over her hip to squeeze her rear as his mouth found her ear.
“Morning,” he murmured, and Lacey moaned as he sucked at her throat. His hand strayed to her hip again, sliding along the crease at the top of her thigh, and she caught his fingers in hers before he could reach between her legs.
“Really interested in where your mind’s going,” she said. “But I need the bathroom. And coffee, to be honest.”
Gold pulled back immediately, rolling onto his side, and she slipped from the bed, drawing on his discarded shirt. He was watching her with a sleepy-eyed grin, his hair dishevelled and a day’s growth of stubble on his cheeks. It made her want to crawl straight back in bed with him.
“I guess I’ll make the coffee, then,” he said. “You want some breakfast?”
Lacey sighed.
“Does that mean getting up?”
“Doesn’t have to.”
“Well, alright then.”
She winked at him, making his grin widen, and trotted off to the bathroom.
When she returned he had already gone downstairs, and she poked around on his dresser for a hairbrush, dragging it through her curls and teasing out the knots that had formed over several hours of the best sex she’d ever had. Gold had stamina. He was also extremely generous, and wanted to please her, which was a first in her experience. She could see herself falling deeply in love with the guy if she wasn’t too careful, and was surprised to find that the idea didn’t bother her. Glancing in the mirror she shook out her hair and set down the hairbrush, sending her reflection a satisfied grin. Apparently Ruby was right. I do want more than hot crazy sex. Although the hot crazy sex is amazing.
She padded downstairs, following the sound of him clattering around in the kitchen. The scent of coffee was drifting towards her, and she took a seat at the kitchen table, watching Gold in his silk robe as he made scrambled eggs and spooned it onto hot buttered toast.
“Hot sex, great coffee and a delicious breakfast,” she remarked, as he set a plate in front of her. “How is it you’ve been single for so long?”
Gold chuckled, sliding into the chair opposite.
“My son would say it’s because I’m completely dense and have no idea when someone is interested,” he said.
“Well, he’s not wrong about that,” said Lacey, making him grin. “Although I guess I shouldn’t really tease you about it. Pot, kettle, and all that.”
He grinned at her, eyes gleaming, and she felt herself fall in love with him a little more. She turned to her breakfast to stop herself blushing with the thrill of it. The eggs were soft and buttery, seasoned to perfection, and she made a noise of approval and cut a piece of toast, pushing it into the growing pool of melted butter and popping it into her mouth. Gold was watching her over the rim of his coffee cup, and she took a sip of her own and set down her cup.
“Any chance we can finish that interview today?” she asked. “I had other questions to ask and you kind of distracted me with orgasms.”
He smirked.
“I have to open the shop at some point,” he said. “Can it wait until later?”
Lacey pursed her lips, trying to hide her smile.
“You want me to come over tonight, is that what you’re saying?”
“You’re the one that wants to interview me,” he said, one eyebrow flicking. “Maybe I’d be more inclined to open up if we were more - intimate.”
His voice had dropped to a low purr, and Lacey squeezed her thighs together.
“Okay, but no distracting me this time!” she ordered, gesturing with a fork. “I have to get some stuff on tape I can actually use! I don’t want Sidney weaselling out of this pay rise he promised.”
Gold pressed a hand to his heart with a wounded expression, and she wrinkled her nose at him. He turned back to his breakfast, a tiny grin on his face.
“I suppose he’ll have you covering the mayoral election,” he said, and Lacey nodded, chewing and swallowing.
“There’s gonna be a debate next week.”
“Really?” Gold pulled a face. “So maybe that’s why I’m starting to hear whispers against Regina.”
“Whispers?” Lacey sat up. “What are they saying?”
Gold took a drink of coffee, setting the cup back down and sucking at his teeth a little.
“The rumour,” he said, “is that money has gone missing from the accounts. Not a huge amount, perhaps a few thousand dollars, but enough to trigger an investigation. The whispering I’ve heard is that it’s the Mayor herself getting greedy. Trying to maintain a lifestyle she can’t afford on the back of hard-working townsfolk.”
“That can’t be true,” she said in disbelief. “It’s election year. There’s no way the Mayor would risk her position, right?”
“Regina and I have certainly had our differences,” he agreed, “but I don’t believe for one second that she’s been stealing town funds.”
“Me neither,” said Lacey. “I think it’s Zelena stirring shit.”
Gold gave her a slanted grin, cutting a piece of toast.
“And where’s your proof of that?”
“Don’t have it yet,” she admitted. “But a friend of mine gave me some info on her New York dealings that makes all this sound kind of familiar. Given what you told me last night, I think we can guess that there’s a personal element as far as Zelena’s concerned.”
“So what’s your plan?” he asked.
“I guess we could tell Regina what she’s up to,” said Lacey. “Give her a chance to stop Zelena.”
“It’ll just look like dirty politics if it’s Regina against her rival,” he said, and she nodded in agreement.
“Okay, how about this?” she said. “We tell Zelena what we know. Maybe it’ll make her stop scheming and leave town.”
“And if it doesn’t?”
“Then we go to the town,” said Lacey. “Let them all know what she’s up to.”
“Difficult to do that without evidence,” he said, and she shrugged.
“Maybe we’ll get a confession.”
“You think she’s going to reveal her diabolical plan to you in some sort of tell-all interview?” he asked, with a grin, and she sent him a flat look, reaching for her coffee.
“Not in a million years,” she said. “She can’t stand me.”
She took a sip of her coffee, setting down her cup.
“But she might tell you,” she added.
-
Gold drummed his fingers slowly on the counter top, eyes fixed on the shop door. The clock on the wall opposite showed that it was nine-thirty, and he was expecting a visitor. Right on time, the door opened, the bell above jingling as Zelena stepped into the shop, a predatory smile on her face. She strode towards him with purpose, and Gold eyed her with a flat stare as she leaned on the counter, pushing her face towards him as though hoping for a kiss of greeting.
“Mr Gold,” she said, in a breathy voice. “I can’t tell you how thrilled I was when you said you wanted to discuss my election campaign.”
“Well, before you get too excited,” he said. “I want to talk to you about these rumours against the Mayor.”
“Rumours?” She tried to look puzzled, but it was unconvincing.
“The ridiculous talk of her embezzling town funds.”
Zelena gasped, hand to heart.
“She’s been stealing from the town?” she said, in a hushed voice. “Well. About time someone else took over, wouldn’t you agree?”
“Don’t play games with me,” said Gold, in a bored tone. “You know she didn’t do it.”
“That’ll be for the investigation to determine,” she said smoothly.
“Which you’re hoping will overshadow the campaign and leave you the victor.”
“If the people of this town decide they want me rather than her, who am I to deny them?”
Gold sighed heavily, pushing back from the counter and walking around it. Zelena turned to face him, and he grounded the cane between his feet.
“I know what you’re doing,” he said. “I’m a little unclear as to why.”
“I’m running for Mayor,” she said, showing her teeth in a somewhat manic smile. “As I said, it’s all about wanting to help the town. Family values, that sort of thing.”
“Really?” said Gold. “That’s interesting. Especially as the current Mayor is your half-sister. Perhaps those family values only stretch so far, hmm?”
Zelena’s mouth fell open, eyes wide with shock, and he bit back a smirk.
“Interesting how differently your lives turned out, isn’t it?” he went on. “You raised in England by your adoptive parents, Regina over here with your birth mother. I suppose that must sting, being abandoned. As I understand it, she left you at the kids’ home in Boston with a note saying she had to give herself her best life and she couldn’t do that with a baby.”
Zelena’s eyes widened further, her jaw tightening.
“How the hell do you know that?” she demanded. “Who told you?”
“I have my sources,” he said. “Which I obviously won’t reveal.”
“That slut of a reporter’s been poking her nose in where it doesn’t belong and then selling to the highest bidder, I suppose,” she said bitterly, and he felt his fist clench around the handle of his cane.
“If you mean Miss French,” he said evenly. “Then no. My information predates her arrival in Storybrooke.”
Zelena drew herself up, brushing her hands against her skirts as though ridding herself of something unpleasant.
“Well,” she said. “My tragic history is none of anyone’s business.”
“It’s my business when you try to use it to take over my town.”
“Your town?” she said, letting out a humourless laugh. “Did you become Mayor when I wasn’t looking?”
Gold smiled coldly.
“Regina may have the title of Mayor,” he said. “But I’m the one with the power around here, and I’d prefer to keep it that way. Disruption, disputes – family drama – it hurts the bottom line.”
Zelena took a step closer, licking her lips. It was repellent, but he made himself meet her eyes.
“Well, if you could see your way to supporting my campaign,” she said throatily. “I’m sure we could - work something out. Help each other, so to speak. Perhaps we can discuss it over dinner.”
She reached out to touch his chest, and Gold stepped back smoothly, resisting the urge to swat her hand away.
“I try not to get involved in politics.”
Zelena looked as though she’d bitten a lemon.
“And yet,” she said. “Here you are. Getting in my way.”
“I know where I am with Regina,” he said. “She may be a little hard-headed at times, but she has fairly good judgement, and a genuine concern for her citizens. You have neither.”
“Perhaps I’m just untested.”
“Perhaps you’re unstable.”
She clenched her jaw, her eyes flashing.
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re incredibly rude?”
“Usually I get ‘heartless’,” said Gold. “I like to think I’m merely a good judge of character.”
“And you judge the Mayor’s character to be better than mine?”
“I imagine most of this town does,” he said calmly, and Zelena sniffed.
“In case you haven’t noticed, most of the residents of this town are incredibly stupid,” she said. “Small-minded. Stuck in the past and terrified of change. It didn’t take much effort on my part to find bad feelings towards the Mayor.”
“Which you’ve no doubt been exploiting.”
“Well, that’s politics,” she said airily. “Can I help it if the townsfolk have had a difficult year and I remind them that while they struggle to pay their bills, Regina Mills and that wife of hers are lounging around doing heaven knows what on the taxpayer dime?”
“What is it you think they’re doing?” asked Gold, puzzled. “Mallory is a lawyer. Regina is the Mayor. They both earn a respectable living and I’m fairly sure neither one of them is lounging around.”
“Respectable?” she said, raising an eyebrow. “Well, that’s not the concern I’ve heard from some of the townsfolk. There’s talk of some seedy club that’s been approved by the Mayor to open next month. Queens of Darkness, or something?”
“Yes,” said Gold patiently. “It’s a gay bar. So?”
“From what I hear there is deep concern amongst the townsfolk about the image of Storybrooke,” she said. “I’m told it could attract all kinds of perverts to the town. Think of the poor children.”
Gold stared at her, then burst out laughing.
“Are you expecting to challenge Regina on some sort of morality grounds?” he asked. “Good luck with that. No one but a tiny, bigoted minority cares that she’s a lesbian. If you think you can win with their votes alone, you’re wasting your time.”
“I think the family values crowd is more numerous than you might believe,” she said. “Something tells me I’m on the right track. Outrage is so easily manipulated and weaponized, don’t you agree?”
Gold stared at her for a moment.
“So you don’t care about being Mayor at all,” he said. “You just want to take it away from Regina.”
Zelena smirked
“Can you imagine the look on her face?” she asked. “Because I have a little scene in my head that I’m hoping will play out on election day. I’m announced as the winner in a landslide victory, the simpletons that voted for me erupt with cheers, and she runs out of the town hall crying.”
“Clearly you don’t know her very well,” remarked Gold. “Why do this? You don’t want this position, you clearly don’t give a flying fuck about any of the townsfolk, why go to so much trouble to take it from Regina?”
Zelena rounded on him, nostrils flaring.
“Because she deserves it!” she hissed. “Because she had everything that was supposed to be mine! Because she was given the world on a silver platter and even that’s not enough for her!”
Gold shook his head.
“You’re saying that like any of this is Regina’s fault,” he said. “She can’t help it if your mother abandoned you. If you have to take your anger out on someone, surely your mother is the place to start?”
“Well, I can’t very well talk to her about it, she’s dead!”
“Then let it go,” said Gold patiently. “Stop blaming your sister for the two of you having a terrible parent.”
“This life should have been mine!” said Zelena, eyes flashing. “She doesn’t deserve any of this!”
“My thoughts exactly,” he said dryly. “You won’t beat her, you know. The town has supported Regina for years because she does a good job. They won’t simply choose you because you bat your eyelashes at them.”
“Well, maybe they’d prefer a Mayor who isn’t corrupt,” she said. “I think you’ll be surprised at what the townsfolk might want, when the truth is presented to them.”
Perhaps so, he thought. Aloud he said: “You know as well as I do that there’s no truth to the corruption rumours.”
Zelena smiled brightly.
“Do I?”
“Yes,” he said evenly. “So unless you’ve planted a bunch of phoney evidence, this vendetta of yours is doomed.”
Zelena had pursed her lips at his words, and he wanted to shake her.
“You’re telling me you have planted evidence?”
“I didn’t say that.”
Gold sighed heavily.
“I don’t even know why I’m trying to help you,” he said, almost to himself. “Why don’t you just leave town? Go and live your life and stop worrying about what you think you’re entitled to.”
“I will destroy her happiness!” spat Zelena. “If it’s the last thing I do!”
She whirled away, red curls tossing, and stomped towards the door.
“If you try to bring her down,” he called, making her pause. “I’ll stop you.”
Zelena swivelled slowly on her toes to face him, a smirk twisting her lips.
“Oh, really?”
“Really,” he said. “I’ve taken time out of my busy day to try to make you see sense, but I can just as easily talk to the entire town.”
She laughed at that, eyes gleaming with mirth.
“The reclusive Mr Gold, whom the entire town distrusts, is going to convince them that their beloved charity queen is really a fraudster with an axe to grind?”
“Yes,” he said simply.
She looked him up and down briefly, pursing her lips, and took a step forward.
“Go ahead and try, then,” she said. “You’ve no proof.”
Gold held her gaze for a moment, then nodded.
“You’re right,” he said. “I don’t.”
Zelena nodded in satisfaction.
“In that case, I think we’re done, don’t you?” she said. “Unless you want to take me up on that offer of dinner, of course.”
“I think not,” he said coldly, and she sniffed.
“Your loss,” she said, and flounced off, the bell above the door jingling on her way out.
Gold stared after her, shaking his head, and heard the click of heels on the floor behind him.
“Well.” Lacey’s voice made him turn. “That was interesting.”
She was leaning in the doorway, the curtain to the back room draping the curve of her hip, and he smiled.
“Did you get it?” he asked, and she held up her camera.
“Every word.”
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starker friends to lovers feminization size kink where tony gets them talking about kinks, and peter is embarrassed to admit that he likes to be feminized. tony, making his move to finally get with peter, begins to assure him that he could take care of peter, that peter is his sweet baby girl, but then peter explains that it’s embarrassing for him also because he has a really big dick, bigger than tony, and a lot of guys he’s been with don’t want him to bottom or be too feminine in bed.
This was very specific and genius and amazing and I hope I wrote something to your liking.
The following program contains: feminization, feminine Peter, Daddy kink (is it really me without it?), big dick Peter, and pet names.
As the kid got older he noticed the younger man got a little less embarrassed discussing certain things, such as coming out as bisexual to Tony. They started to spend more time with each other, in and out of the lab, and Tony grew to admire Peter, the way he moved and talked and laughed. Peter grew to be Tony’s friend, even closer than Rhodey. That’s how they ended up in this situation, playing a Star Wars drinking game that turned into just plain drinking.
“So kid, tell me, you gotta get up to some weird stuff in bed? Everyone does,” Tony teased, reaching over to lightly punch Peter’s arm. The younger man blushed, flushing a pretty pink from his ears down to his neck. Tony absentmindedly wondered how far down it spread.
“I…um…I mean…” Peter stammered, choosing to drink some more of his cider instead of respond.
Tony chuckled squeezing Peter’s arm. It was amazing how such a delicate limb packed so much power. “What? You like being spanked? Spanking people? Eating whipped cream off of someone’s toes? C’mon, don’t be shy.”
“Well…I do like being spanked. And being choked,” Peter confessed, drinking again to avoid answering further. Tony noted this and licked his lips, looking the pretty boy over, from his soft curls to long lashes to delicate collar bones and all the rest. He wondered if Peter knew how perfect he was.
“Completely normal kinks. C’mon, tell me something good. I’ll give you one about me. I like footjobs,” Tony said, laughing at himself and at the way Peter’s drink almost came out of his nose.
“Mr. Stark - I mean…Tony? Wow, just. Okay, mine is probably weirder,” Peter stammered again, eyes now downcast and posture changing into what looked like being ashamed. Tony scooted closer and wrapped an arm around Peter’s broadening shoulders.
“Hey…kid. Don’t worry, you can tell me anything. I’ve done just about everything under the sun, so it can’t be that bad-”
“I like to be feminized…to be made into a-a pr-pretty girl…” Peter admitted, face now aflame. Well, Tony could work with that. He could definitely get behind (or in front of, on top us, any way, really) this.
It took a couple weeks of dropping hints and Peter still didn’t get it..
Let me take care of that, doll. I got it.
You’re looking pretty today. Is that for me?
You know I’d take care of you no matter what, right?
Tony finally had enough of the waiting and the hints and was ready to take action; he was never known for his patience. He was tired of his late night shopping for slutty, girly outfits and make-up and bows and he just wanted to see Peter in it at this point. It was time to go big or die alone.
They were hanging out on the couch watching some action movie Peter picked out when Tony turned to him, placing a hand on Peter’s thigh. “Hey,” Tony said, a grin in place. Now or never.
“Yeah?” Peter asked, not quite paying attention to Tony as he was engrossed in all the explosions and unrealistic gun play.
“Baby girl. Pay attention, pretty thing or I might get mad.” That ought to do it.
It had its desired effect, Peter’s jaw dropped and he turned to Tony, blinking his doe eyes at the older man. “Wait what?” he sputtered, blushing so deeply he was almost purple.
“You heard me, sweet little girl. Daddy’s trying to talk to you,” Tony began, reaching over to tug Peter into his lap, “I wanted to know if you wanted to play dress up with me. I got a bunch of pretty things for you to wear, a whole closet full. Let’s go play.”
Peter outright whimpered at that, burying his face between Tony’s neck and shoulder. “How did you know I liked that? Calling you…calling someone D-Daddy?” Peter asked, hands fisting Tony’s shirt hard enough to tear. Oh well, he could buy a new one.
“Sometimes a Daddy just knows. Now, let’s get this pretty girl dressed up.”
Tony led Peter to the room he dedicated to Peter as a closet and beauty room. There was an entire wall filled with clothes and shoes, a dresser full on lingerie, and a beautiful vanity filled with the best make-up according to online reviews. Peter looked to be in near tears. “Do you want to do this?” Tony checked in, rubbing Peter’s back.
“Yeah…I do,” Peter answered, turning to kiss Tony ever so softly. The kiss lit a fire in Tony’s belly and he couldn’t help but take control of the kiss, burying a hand in Peter’s honey curls and pulling tightly to tilt Peter’s head where he wanted it to be. Peter moaned in response, hands scrabbling to find purchase, to ground himself.
“Safe words are the traffic light system. Let’s get this party started,” Tony said, smacking Peter’s behind and making his way to the closet. He helped Peter pick out a pretty pink dress, impossibly short with a white petticoat underneath. The dress had a strappy top that exposed Peter’s collar bones and throat. The older man indulged himself and handed Peter a pair of tiny, white lace panties. “Get dressed and come to my room, princess.”
Peter arrived ten minutes later in his pretty dress, cheeks dusted with a sparkly silver powder and mascara on his lashes. His lush lips were coated in a glittery pink lip gloss that looked sticky. He wanted to smear it all over Peter’s face. “You look beautiful, baby girl, come on over,” Tony said, patting his lap from where he was sitting on the bed. The younger man did as told, clearly nervous as he straddled Tony’s lap. “Don’t be shy, my sweet baby girl. How about you show me what’s going on under that pretty dress?”
The younger man gulped, hesitating but still pulling the dress up. Underneath the dress and petticoat was Peter straining against those little, lacey panties. Peter’s cock was huge. So big that it surprised Tony as it was bigger than his, and Tony was bigger than average. “It’s a problem, isn’t it? It’s been a problem with everyone else,” Peter sighed, lowering the dress, lower lip wobbling with oncoming tears.
Tony sprang into action, grabbing Peter’s face and kissing him. “No, baby girl. I’m just surprised. You have such a pretty clit. Is your pussy just as pretty?” Tony asked, a hand reaching under the dress to grab Peter’s ass, kneading the flesh in his hand before smacking it.
“I…I don’t know?”
“I guess you’ll have to spread those legs, baby girl, and show Daddy just how pretty your princess parts are.”
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Farm Boy Blues Ep. 1 “Welcome Home, Sunny” Pt. 3
Sunny’s office on Ventura Way was literally home, and he was sorry he ever left it. Parking his car in its garage, Sunny keyed the door to the familiar chime and made his way in. The blast of automated air conditioner embraced him much in the same way Lacey did shortly before, welcoming him back. The place still smelled like mahogany and looked crisp. The downstairs break area he used for an armory and supply room was still neat and ordered, the lockers lining one wall while maps of Dyson City and the surrounding wastes lined the opposite one. When he crossed through to the carpet of his office, he flicked the light on and tossed his keys onto his desk, glancing around at his license hanging on the wall next to his commendations from the city for bravery and service, as well as pictures with some of his favorite clients.
Sunny smiled and stood there for a moment, basking in the feeling of safety and familiarity. He’d come close to never seeing this place again and even though his job was naturally dangerous, this brush with death felt closer, more intimate. It was probably because, this time, he’d almost been killed by someone he trusted. He figured that would probably have an affect on someone’s outlook.
Turning the light back off, Sunny took his shoes off and walked wearily up stairwell behind his desk, anxious to sit down in his chair upstairs. Yet, halfway up the stairs was when he got the feeling that he wasn’t alone. It was a small shuffling that lasted for a few seconds and was barely audible under the air conditioning, but Sunny was sure he heard it.
There was only one person he knew who could get into his office without leaving a trace. That person wasn’t a threat to him as far as Sunny knew, but just to be sure, he drew his handgun and held it at his side as he walked the rest of the way up.
The first thing Sunny noticed was that his place wasn’t ransacked or even disturbed. To his right was his living room, where his TV, personal computer desk, couch and favorite chair was. The kitchen was to the right and both the bar counter and wooden island were as clean as he’d left him. His fridge, however, was slightly ajar- enough that the light was still on. Sunny checked the trash can to see one of his empty beer bottles sitting at the bottom when, straight ahead from the direction of his bedroom and bathroom, he heard more noises, someone clearing their throat and a toilet flushing.
Rolling his eyes and tossing his shoes to the floor, Sunny sighed and leaned against the bar counter. There was the sound of a sink running before that too stopped.
Special Agent Grafton Ellis walked out of Sunny’s bedroom, waving his hands at his side, air drying them. “You’re out of paper towels in there.”
Sunny gave the man a once over and noticed his expertly pressed and creased pants, clean button-up and crisp tie. “And you’re wearing shoes in my apartment.”
“Yeah, sorry, I forgot. I won’t be long.”
“Good.”
The man hadn’t changed much in the years Sunny knew him. He must have been at least thirty-five by now with reddish brown hair, piercing green eyes accompanied by unflattering dark rings and a crooked smile amidst his perpetual stubble. A long, ragged scar crossed the side of his neck down to his clavicle. The man hadn’t changed much at all. He still looked tired as ever.
Agent Ellis took a seat at the bar and sighed, clasping his hands together. He looked bored.
“Y’know, coming to terms with the fact that our new government, and by extension, the Bureau, is gonna have me keeping tabs on you until they’re 100% sure you’re not some sleeper agent for The Commonwealth,” Ellis said in a completely conversational and non-accusatory tone which made Sunny want to throw his shoes at him, “I’ve accepted that I’m in for many a frustrating day. Whether it’s responding to reports of you having gunfights with thieves inside the city wall or trying to find out where the hell you’ve been for the past four months- it’s always something.”
“Gotta mix it up somehow,” Sunny shrugged, holstering his handgun.
“True. I will say you keep things exiting- I suppose I should be grateful.”
Ellis took a moment to stare around at the apartment, his legs swinging from the bar stool nonchalantly. “What do you want, Ellis?”
“I guess we could start with where you’ve been?”
“Look. I’m hurt, I’m tired and I just want some rest. Can we not fuck around right now? You know where I was. You probably tracked me coming into the city, too.”
Ellis regarded Sunny for a moment while the young man waited for a response. Finally the agent shrugged. “Fine, why were you there?”
Sunny chewed his lip for a moment. He’d known Ellis since he was eleven years old. He met him the day after The Commonwealth fell. It wasn’t that Sunny didn’t trust Agent Ellis- it was that he didn’t feel like going into it at the moment. He was far too close to what happened to discuss it openly, he realized. He just wanted a day or two’s distance before giving the federal agent the debriefing he was sent here for.
“Was that too direct for you?” Ellis smirked. Sometimes, Sunny wanted to punch him in his face. He unclipped his gun from his belt and placed it on the counter before heading into the kitchen, kicking his fridge all the way closed. He picked through a cabinet for his bottle of whiskey and two glasses.
“New York or Chicago?” Sunny called over his shoulder.
“Chicago.”
Sunny nodded, he liked his drinks the same way. Forgoing the chaser in the fridge, Sunny poured whiskey in both glasses then slid one across the bar to Ellis, who nodded thankfully. “I was out there, with Mia, because she asked me to leave with her.”
“Is that right?”
Sunny sat in his chair and sank into the cushions with a sigh. From this seat he could see the city outside through his large window- a perk he’d noticed when he first rented the office. He had a pretty good view of the hills and the beach from here. At night, the street and building lights dotted the window like multi-colored jewels set in a satin cloth. Sunny eyed his glass, lazily tilting the liquid back and forth.
“Keaton…”
“I didn’t do anything wrong,” Sunny held back the hurt in his voice, along with the tears he almost lost from his carefully tended reservoir.
“I just want to know what happened, kid. Give me that, and I’ll write the report and be out of your hair. Hell, at this point they might not even ask for a report.”
“She said she was going straight.”
“Mia?”
“Mmhm.”
“So she showed up promising a new life without the crime?”
“Said that she was ready to just be with me and she didn’t need any of that other stuff. She didn’t need the money or the lavish lifestyle bullshit. She just wanted me,” Sunny took a swig of whiskey and grimaced, the instant warmth cascading down his chest.
“Shit…”
“Four months in and I find out she’d already made plans to rob the federal reserve transport trucks while they crossed the desert. I told her she was fucking crazy, and all she kept saying was how with this one job we’d be set for life.” Sunny stared at his reflection in his own drink before shrugging and taking another swig. “Stupid me, right?”
“So what, she tried to get you on a job and you just said no?”
Sunny scoffed. “I burned the charges her and her little buddies were planning on using for the roadside bombs. Her crew realized they were gone before I could get out of there, though. She asked if I did it, I said yeah. She put two bullets in my chest and left me on the side of the road.”
Without saying a word, Ellis stood and moved over to sit on the arm of the couch. Sunny unbuttoned the top of his Hawaiian shirt and showed Ellis the stitches, not daring to look down himself just yet.
“Jesus, Keaton…”
“A family on vacation found me and took me to one of the doctors out there. He go the bullets out and had me lay up for a few days before I could move on my own. I just got back to town today.”
Ellis sat back and rubbed his chin for a moment, eying Sunny’s bullet wounds. He took a swig of whiskey and played with the glass between his fingers. The two were quiet for a few, long moments before Ellis cleared his throat. “I don’t suppose you’ll finally wise up, will you?”
Sunny looked at Agent Ellis and hoped the man could see the annoyance in his face. Wise up… What an asshole. “Fuck you.”
Ellis shook his head, “You know, I’m probably going to regret saying this, but I hope this has taught you a little about yourself. And I hope you realize that maybe, just maybe, your life is worth a lot to the people who care about you… Clearly you feel like you’re not worth much at all.”
“How do I know?” Sunny mumbled, almost choking on the words.
“Know what?”
“That my life is worth a lot. Or anything for that matter…”
“Well, the contrary is usually what happens when our mind starts working against itself. Luckily we have eyes and ears that often give is the hints we need, we just gotta take it for what it is.”
“Easier said than done.”
“For sure. But how about starting here,” Ellis cleared his throat, “What are you more afraid of? Those stitches or the Commonwealth ID number tattooed to your chest.”
Despite himself, Sunny allowed himself the smallest of smiles. “Probably the gunshot wounds.”
“Which means that being a Farm Boy- being the former property of The Commonwealth doesn’t feel as bad as it used to be. It matters less and less. That’s a good a place as any to be, don’t you think?”
Ellis didn’t give him a chance to answer, but stood up and set his tumbler on the bar. “Out of my hair already, eh?”
“I’ll give my superiors the run down,��� Ellis shrugged, walking towards the stairwell. “You might have to go let the police take photos of your injuries. You’ll be down at the precinct tomorrow anyways, though.”
“Why’s that?”
Ellis turned around, brows furrowed. “Your contractor recertification…”
“Ah, shit.”
“Hey, luckily you passed your 5th year last time, so it’s just marksmanship certification for the next couple years for you. But you know the rules- to keep getting contracts from the police you’ll need a re-cert every twelve.”
“Maybe I should have just stayed in the desert,” Sunny stood and followed the man to the stairwell. He leaned on the banister as Ellis descended into his office area.
“I’m sure Detective Dodson would eventually come find you,” Ellis chuckled.
“What can I say,” Sunny smiled, “We’re madly in love.”
“You do know how to pick ‘em.”
Sunny watched as the man opened the front door and glanced out for a moment before stopping. Ellis looked up at him and took a deep breath.
“Hey, for the record, I guess… Add me to that list.”
“What list?”
“The list of people that care about you. It’s a no-go for handlers to grow attached to you guys, but I’ve known you since you were a kid, so I don’t know what to tell you. You’ve come a long way since we met… I just don’t want to have to ID your body at the morgue one day.”
“Thanks, Ellis.”
“Just be careful, okay?”
“Will do.”
And just like that- the door was shut and Ellis was gone. The silence folded around Sunny like a suffocating smog. He turned back to his bar counter and downed the rest of the whiskey before shuffling back to his room, the weight of the day and his injuries making every step a trial.
Sunny’s room was dark and cool when he made it back there- just the way he liked it. He wanted to see his posters and maps and space ship blueprints on the wall. He wanted to see his desk and shelf of keep-sakes. But he also wanted to lay in the dark for a while.
He chose the latter.
The moment Sunny laid his head down on his pillow, the tears broke through and poured down the sides of his face. He felt powerless to stop crying, but at this point, he didn’t want to. Best to get it all out.
Everything bouncing around in his mind assaulted him at once and he was having trouble collating it all, having trouble answering his own questions.
Why did she do that?
Why can’t I ever get things right?
Why can’t I ever make the right decision?
Hell, why can’t the right decision ever find me for once?
Why do I have to struggle like this?
How do I make it stop?
Why do I still have feelings for the person who keeps leaving me in the dust?
Goddammit, Sunny.
Sunny’s phone vibrating in his pocket shook him out of his downward spiral. He fished it out, planning on ignoring whoever it was before reading the contact name flashing on his screen:
Big Sexy
Sunny was so happy to see that name that he wanted to cry harder, which made him laugh at the ridiculous nature of Collin Talbot’s contact name, but he had no intention of changing it in the near future.
Without hesitation, Sunny hit accept and put the phone to his ear, waiting with still breath to hear his best friend’s voice.
“Yyyyeelllooww, Sunny? Sun-tzu?”
Sunny smiled, “I’m here, man.”
“Ah, great,” said Collin on the other end. There was a pause before Collin continued. “You okay?”
“No,” Sunny surprised himself, once again, by not choking on his words. Yet, he knew Collin picked up on it.
“What happened? Where are you?”
“Back home.”
Again, another silence. Collin was trying to figure out what to say or how to ask what happened with Mia. “Do you want me to come to the city?”
Of course he knew what to say.
“I’d like that.”
“Say no more, give me a couple days. Should I get a suite or come to your place?”
“My place is fine…”
“Alright, well I’ll get to you as soon as possible. Like I said, two days at the most. Here’s what I’m thinking, you ready?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll catch a flight, land in Dyson, stop by the grocery store, pick up some food because your sorry ass still can’t cook, and then we’ll eat and drink and you can tell me about what’s going on. Sound good?”
“That sounds fucking beautiful.”
“My man. Anyways, I’ll let you go cause I have to go wrap up this test flight. I just wanted to check in on you.”
“Thank you, Collin.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it. Just… Hang on until I get there, okay?”
“Sure thing.”
“Peace out, brotha.”
Collin hung up just as the sounds of a single passenger ship engine flared up in the background. Sunny stared at the phone for a moment before setting it on his night stand.
That was that. All he had to do was wait for Collin. Maybe Ellis was right, maybe his friends really did see the value that Sunny didn’t. Maybe he’d be okay. Sunny almost kicked himself for the way he’d lost hope in them moments before. He turned over on his side and closed his eyes, ready to sleep and start the next day.
Contractor recertification.
Pick up TK from the Trey’s shop.
Swing by the coffee shop the next morning to see if his coffee buddy would still be showing up after four months of him being gone.
And then Collin would be here.
That, Sunny decided, was easy enough. He had a plan. He had a way out of the confusion and pain. He just had to stay focused. He just had to live. It shouldn’t be hard, he thought. He’d been doing it pretty well so far.
_______________________________________________________________________
@writerinafury @oneleggedflamingo @carmina-solis @anomaly00 @neirawrites
@lnspired-insomniac
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just talk
The sun had set hours ago and Annabeth had been practicing what she wanted to say to Lacey. Finally, with sweaty palms and a racing heart, she took the cheesecake, a dark, brownish red to the bedroom, the smallest one, upstairs. A soft, tentative knock, then Annabeth waited.
Lacey swung the door wide, knowing who it was before she opened the door. Out of them all, Annabeth had been the one she needed to mend the most fences with, other than Jack. And out of them all, she had spent the least amount of time with her. She’d felt her flutter of nerves, heard the way she’d paced back and forth down in the kitchen, and knew by feel that AB was the one on the other side of the door. She offered what she hoped was a welcoming, warm smile, but feared just looked stilted. Lacey didn’t know how to act around her. The woman had stolen her husband. She’d almost killed Annabeth. Things were complicated, to say the least. But there was cheesecake and the stilted smile turned into something real as she lit up, excited for a treat.
“You didn’t need to bring me that…” she said, glancing from the decadent cake to Annabeth’s slightly wary eyes. Lacey expected this was the big heave ho, that the cake was a bribe. Take the cake, pack your shit, get the fuck out. She’d go.
“I’ll just pack,” she muttered, stepping back to admit Annabeth and went to the closet where she’d begun to store a few things. She had no doubt heard about her kissing Doc. Knew that there were a lot of lines crossed with Ryan. Maybe she even knew about the times she’d kissed Jack. “I’ll be out in a few, okay? Just don’t uninvite me until I get my stuff, if you don’t mind…” She’d deserve to be kicked out. Of course. She was very good at making other people’s lives implode.
Annabeth was startled into stepping back when the door opened, but she recovered and came closer, wanting to be near her. “Pack?” she asked, confusion clouding her wide, blue eyes. “Where are you going? Wes would hate it. Stay…” She stepped inside after her, realization hitting her all at once when the vampire started to busy herself with her clothes. “...You think I’m kicking you out? I’m not. I just…” she closed the door after a moment’’s hesitation and held the cake aloft to the vampire. “Please. I brought… “ Her free hand dove into her pocket and came out with a fork. “Go ahead. Eat. Please…”
Clearing her throat once the cake was out of her hands and Lacey had sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed, Annabeth settled herself on the edge of an armchair, draped with Lacey’s clothes over the back. It took everything in her to not get up and start folding them.
“We need to talk.”
Those words could stop the heart of a human. As it was, they made Lacey feel as if she had gone suddenly pale.
“Talk… Okay….” she drew the words out before stabbing her fork into the cake and eating a bite. The familiar texture, the hint of chocolate, had her forgetting that Annabeth wanted to talk and probably wanted to ream her ass. She was transported, blissed out by the first bite of cheesecake. A soft little moan escaped her lips as she pulled the fork from her mouth, clean of any crumbs.
Annabeth felt herself sitting forward when Lacey moaned, her lip caught between her teeth. That… was not the normal reaction she had to Lacey. To any woman other than Ryan, really. A weird feeling, she thought, passing it off as some fluke. That sound could make people think things.
“Yeah. Talk…” she said, letting out a breath. “You know… I’ve been jealous of you for a long, long time. I wanted to be you…” Lacey’s head jerked up when Annabeth said that last, her mouth dropped open, much like the surprised Pikachu that Doc so loved to use in their group chat. “I did. Because you had him more than I did. You had his son. You had a life with him. I had stolen moments. Fear. I had a half-life. But then… You left. I met Doc. Things got… complicated. Now, we’re good. We’ve built something, all of us.” Sucking in a breath, Anna looked down at her hands before going on. Two rings. One for each hand. And Ryan had given her one of those hokey best friend necklaces one night after they’d… Well, it had been an intimate moment no matter what. “We’ve got a rock solid foundation under us all, we’ve made a family. We’ve become happy.”
Lacey, feeling ashamed of the way she’d treated this woman, listened, sometimes picking at the cheesecake. Mostly, she just watched her. The rings. The way she smiled just a little when she looked at them, or tugged on the necklace around her neck. The way her cheeks bloomed with color. Some memory had stirred, making her blush. “I wouldn’t wish being me on my worst enemy,” she whispered. “And… I don’t want to… I won’t blow up your life.” Dave’s words slapped her in the face again and she looked down into her lap lest blood tears leak and betray how hurt he’d made her when he’d said that. “I just want to be near… everyone. But Wes especially. Please, don’t send me away.” Her lips trembled and she felt the tears coming. Gods, he had hurt her. Don’t destroy everything you touch, Lacey. Don’t ever find a shred of happiness because if you do, it comes with a cost.
Without her noticing, Annabeth had crossed the room and pressed a packet of wet wipes into Lacey’s hand. Tears must not have been as secret as she’d thought.
Anna had brought the wipes because she noticed Jack carried them. They’d come in handy a time or two. And now.
“No one said you would blow up our lives…” she said, sinking into the bed next to Lacey and putting her arm around her. Fear was there, somewhere, still, but the need to comfort her, the need to make sure she was okay, outweighed it.
“You’re part of our lives, you know? You’re family. And I know you’re closer… a lot closer… to the others. Getting closer all the time, it seems, and I’m glad. I… I want you to make this your home. I want you to be there for Wes. For Jack. He needs you, more than he’ll admit to me. I need you too, because if you’re here, he’s happier. I need him to be happy. He’s my world…” Licking her lips, she petted Lacey’s hair, the gesture unconscious. “You’re part of us, and if that means you get… “ she had to clear her throat again. Try to force herself not to blush. “Get a lot closer to Jack, Ryan, and Doc… Well, that’s going to take some getting used to but I’m not going to begrudge any of them what makes them happy.”
Lacey could not have been more surprised had Annabeth told her she’d spouted tentacles out of her vagina. Her mouth hung open and then closed. Opened again. A fish out of water. “I…”
Anna cut her off, her hand slicing through the air before them.
“Make them happy, the relationship we’ve built is like a house. It’s strong. Has good bones. But if you blow up my house, I will not be nice. I will make your life difficult. I will make you leave this house and I will revoke my blessing for you to do whatever it takes to make them happy.” Her face had gone from pink to hard as stone as she pronounced the last, her hand, in Lacey’s hair, tightening until the vampire yelped. She released her, face softening in an instant.
“So sorry! I didn’t…” And she knew then that things could, and would, work out. Because she’d hurt the vampire. And all Lacey had done was get a little fangy. And yelp. Like a kicked puppy.
Her fingers untangled and she finger-combed her hair once more.
“...Are you really saying I can fuck them?” Lacey asked, incredulous. That had to be a trick. The hair yank forgotten as she tried to process what Annabeth had said. “Because that’s what it sounds like you’re saying. But that’s ridiculous. You would never say that…” Lacey squinted, trying to see if she detected falsehood. None. “You are insane…” she whispered, laughing.
“No,” Annabeth corrected. “I’m not crazy. I just know that sometimes, you make the choice that’s hard for you because it makes the people you love happy. I almost like you. I want you to be okay, and that’s a new feeling that I’m not used to. I want you to be happy. Please you. And them. I want them to be happy more than anything. So, we’ll see if this works out.” Annabeth patted her hair one more time, stood up and smoothed her skirt. “But remember… You bomb my house and I nuke your life.”
“Good night.”
One last smile, one on the chilly side, and Annabeth left, leaving Lacey with a half-eaten cheesecake she didn’t want anymore and a lot of questions she didn’t think she wanted to know the answers to.
Nuke… she thought as the door shut, shaking her head. The rabbit maybe had grown a spine. And dammit if she didn’t respect a woman who could threaten a vampire when she was a human, small and unable to fight. Much like she felt about Ryan.
“This house gets weirder, every fucking night.”
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Charmed Again (Charmed Fanfic)
Episode 10 - Into The Darkness (Finale)
Warnings: I don’t own the rights to any of the characters from the hit TV show “Charmed” or the storylines related to the show those rights belong to original creator Constance M Burge.
15+ Moderate/Graphic Displays of Violence, Sexual Innuendos, Witchcraft and Potentially Triggering Scenes.
Paul walked in the San Francisco Police Department anxiously barging past people before rushing up the stairs and into a hallway before reaching Eric Morgan’s office door as he began knocking on the door repeatedly before Eric eventually shouted for him to come in.
“I’m just going to assume you will be continuously visiting my office until someone has heard of anything about where the hell Drake is.” Eric said to a clearly sleep deprived Paul as Paul walked into his office. “Mr Halliwell, I promise you that we are doing everything within our power to find your son he’s a top priority and not just because he used to be one of us. I consider him family I mean I’ve known him since he was a kid.”
“I know your doing everything you can and I’m doing everything within my power to find him.” Paul replied. “It’s been an entire week with no sightings either up here or down below and I’ve tried every spell in the book of shadows and I’m beginning to think…”
“Don’t even finish that sentence Paul, I’ve known Drake a long time and one thing he’s always been is a survivor.” Eric told Paul. “Trust me wherever he is he will be alive and probably making any kidnapper regret every second their holding him hostage.”
“You’re right and his mother is the queen of hell surely that will win my son some brownie points if it is a demonic situation.” Paul agreed. “I just want him home.”
Lacey burst through Eric’s office door immediately demanding both of their attention with her clothes torn and her entire body covered in dirt, bruises and cuts leaving both her father and her sister’s brother completely confused.
“What happened to you?” Paul asked in shock.
“Apparently desert islands make shitty prisons when your cast under a guardian spell that will make you stop at nothing to protect a certain charmed one.” Lacey revealed to them both.
“I have gathered you all here because I am far from amused about the rumblings and rumors about your queen becoming soft.” Eve declared as to a cave full of demons in black robes who knelled before their queen as she sat on her throne made entirely of skulls within the Underworld. “I am the queen of hell and I’ve worked harder than any of you so I refuse to allow these treacherous lies to continue so by order of your queen you are to kill all who would defy me.”
“My queen some of us are only worried that the ties you have with the charmed ones will only weaken your loyalty towards the Underworld I mean you have a son who is a charmed one.” A random demon stood up and interrupted only to catch on flames by a wave of Eve’s hands before the demon exploded into pieces.
“I will never allow rumors, lies or any disloyalty of any kind.” Eve made herself clear. “Which brings me to my next reason for this meeting I can confirm my son has rejected his charmed heritage to join us in the ranks of the Underworld.”
“But my beloved queen a charmed in hell is unheard of.” Another demon interrupted while rising to their feet. “I fear this will be the undoing of us all.”
Drake blinks himself in front of the robed demon before Eve could respond to the demon shouting athame which appeared in the Halliwell hybrid’s hands before he used the weapon to plunge it into the demon’s chest.
“I believe my mother made herself very clear about being questioned.” Drake addressed the demons while his victim burst into flames before exploding.
“How on earth did you escape the island?” Pan asked Lacey as she and Paul walked into the foyer of the Halliwell Manor where she was stood waiting.
“It drove me insane and I have cuts and wounds in places I never knew existed, but this guardian stuff is no joke.” A now freshly dressed Lacey revealed to her girlfriend before giving her a kiss.
“Why didn’t Quinn at least try and stop you?” Pan wondered.
“He’s a little bit scared of me which I fully used to my advantage.” Lacey boasted with a smile of pride on her face.
“I’m glad to see you Lacey but you can’t be here right now it’s more dangerous around this place than ever before.” Pan told her detective girlfriend.
“Paul filled me in on everything Drake related, and it seems to me I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.” Lacey replied to her.
“I must say the fact that third act of the charmed ones is still missing and you’re all incapable of finding him doesn’t give me much confidence in your evaluation.” Merlow announced after orbing into the foyer. “Or the fact we’re entrusting mortals with magical secrets.”
“Screw your bloody evaluation,” Paul snapped at the elder. “I don’t care what you have to say or what you think of us my son is missing and that’s all that matters right now.”
“Who the hell is this guy?” Lacey asked Pan.
“He’s this elder who’s been sent to evaluate us as charmed ones and Quinn as a white lighter.” Pan revealed to her.
“And where exactly is Jason Quinn? I haven’t been able to get some proper one on one time with him for an entire week.” Merlow wondered.
“You can forgive him for being too busy doing his job to be able to have a sit and chat with you.” Pan said, being the next Halliwell to snap at the elder.
“Yes well Drake is only one of Jason Quinn’s many charges and although I do believe the charmed ones should be his priority he shouldn’t be wasting all his time for a charge who is more than likely given into his demonic side I mean that’s what demons do best.” Merlow replied to Pan.
Lacey quickly walked over to the elder with a furious look on her face before punching him in the face causing the elder to hit the floor with force.
“Here’s my evaluation of your pompous ass you’re rude and need to leave before I test this whole angel not being able to die twice theory.” Lacey told the elder rather bluntly making both Paul and Pan smile.
“This will not stand you can’t just disrespect an elder like this.” Merlow complained as he got back onto his two feet.
“Why not? I mean you were disrespecting us.” Pan answered him. “And last time I checked my girlfriend can do whatever the hell she likes to do and often does.”
Merlow didn’t waste time responding to Pan choosing to quickly orb away before angering the three of them any further.
“I think we should be looking straight at the source of all evil I mean she was in contact with him and he had recently worked out she was a big liar just before he went missing.” Lacey suggested to both Pan and Paul.
“You might be right,” Pan replied. “I really thought for a second she might’ve considered doing the right thing for her son.”
“What made you think for a single second she’d ever do that?” Paul questioned his sister before realizing. “You’ve spoken to her, haven’t you?”
“What am I missing here?” Lacey asked them both before turning her attention to her girlfriend. “Why on earth would you believe the source of all evil would have any good in her I mean the hints right there in her title?”
“Have you or have you not seen her?” Paul snapped at Paul.
“She may have visited me once or twice but both times were before Drake went missing and I thought I was getting through to her but clearly she never listened to a single word I said.” Pan admitted to her older brother. “Eve’s never been an easy subject for either of us to speak about and I didn’t need you worrying anymore than you were already else I would’ve told you sooner I swear I had no idea she’d stoop so low as to kidnap her own soon.”
“Of course, you never believed she would do something like that I can’t believe after all these years she can still fool you.” Paul furiously replied to her. “I can’t believe you’ve let her do this to us again.”
“Oh my god you were involved with the source, weren’t you?” A stunned Lacey asked her girlfriend. “You were involved with Drake’s mother?”
“In my defense I was with her before she became Drake’s mother.” Pan replied to her girlfriend before delivering a bitch glare towards her brother.
“Did you love her?” Lacey questioned Pan while dreading the answer.
Eve appeared in a burst of flames within a satanic circle somewhere within the caves of the Underworld where three people whose identities were hidden in triad robes awaited their queen of hell.
“I have followed your advice, but I don’t believe everything is going as planned.” She said to them. “He’s definitely darker now but he doesn’t seem like my son anymore.”
“He’s merely growing accustomed to his newfound darkness he is bound to change as time goes on while the evil takes more and more control over him before finally becoming the son you’ve always wanted and the prince the Underworld needs.” One of the three triad members replied to her.
“He’s already the son I’ve always wanted I don’t want him to change who he is.” Eve admitted to the triad.
“Why infect him with the woogy if you didn’t want him to change?” Another third of the triad spoke. “Now is not a time for you to be weak and question yourself Eve.”
“You’re right I’m just adjusting to this change like Drake is.” Eve agreed. “I just wish he chose this life instead of having to force it upon him.”
“I’m sorry I thought dumping you on a remote island was a good idea and I’m sorry you had to get back here yourself before I came to my senses although I must admit I’m highly impressed that you did.” Pan apologised to Lacey as the two of them sat on the couch within the living room of the Halliwell Manor.
“I’m more surprised that someone like you could be with someone who literally lives and rules hell.” Lacey admitted to her.
“Firstly, the Underworld is more like a hellish lair than hell itself in fact hell is a much worse place believe it or not and secondly she wasn’t the source when I used to be with her.” Pan revealed to her girlfriend.
“That’s a bit more understandable I suppose but why didn’t you just tell me you and Drake’s mother had a past?” Lacey asked.
“It’s a painful part of my past and I didn’t wee why you need to know.” Pan told her.
“I’m supposed to be the woman you love, and it feels like you hid something from me because it’s still painful and therefore not part of your past if you’re still hurting in the present.” Lacey explained to Pan. “I dealt well with the magic secret I would’ve handled Eve well too.”
“She is a part of my past Lacey.” Pan promised her.
“Do you still have feelings for her?” Lacey asked only to be immediately met with a silence that devastated her. “I guess that means yes.”
“No of course I don’t have feelings for her anymore Lacey.” Pan told her after Lacey stood up from the couch as Pan stood up to face her. “I love you.”
“I know you do, and I love you too, but that moment of hesitation says you’re not quite over her yet.” Lacey said as tears formed in her eyes.
“That’s not true.” Pan replied with uncertainty as tears began forming in her eyes too.
“I can’t be with someone who has feelings for someone else.” Lacey cried.
“Why does it feel like we’re breaking up?” Pan asked, fearing the obvious answer.
“Because we are.” Lacey admitted.
Drake found himself walking through the seemingly never-ending caves of the Underworld when Quinn orbed his way in front of his troubled charge.
“Quinn you really shouldn’t have come here.” Drake told him before being met with a hug from his white lighter.
“I’m so glad you’re okay we were all worried about you.” Quinn admitted before breaking off his hug with the man he loved. “Are you okay?”
“You probably should’ve have came looking for me.” Drake replied as his eyes briefly turned jet black before returning to normal.
“Oh no Drake what’s happened to you?” A fearful Quinn asked before Drake summoned a fireball above his hand. “Let’s just say I’m royalty now.”
“Please just tell me what I’m supposed to do?” Paul pleaded as he looked upwards stood in front of the book of shadows within the attic of the Halliwell Manor, shouting to his ancestors for help in finding his missing son. “Please I can’t lose him again.”
The book of shadows began flipping pages on it’s own accord once again before stopping on the page with the spell entitled how to banish the Woogyman which left him confused knowing the woogy is normally a problem from within the family home and that was one place where his son wasn’t.
“You really should’ve just stayed away for once in your life.” Drake said to Quinn as he began walking towards his white lighter in the caves of the Underworld. “This isn’t personal but if folk down here got word we met, and I didn’t kill you they’d think I’m soft and I can’t be having that.”
“I don’t know what’s happened to you Drake, but you know this isn’t you.” Quinn pleaded with his charge.
“It’s who I am now.” Drake replied to him.
“I don’t know what it is that’s controlling you, but you are stronger than this.” Quinn tried to convince him.
“No, he can’t.” Drake laughed sinisterly as his eyes went completely jet black.
“Okay well if talking isn’t working.” Quinn said before plunging towards a possessed Drake kissing him and watching Drake’s eyes as they turned back to normal. “It worked.”
Drake smiled at Quinn for a brief moment before pulling his body towards his own as the two men began passionately kissing each other as their hands begin to wonder fondling each of their bodies in the process before Drake pushed Quinn up against a nearby wall and pulled his white lighter’s shirt open with force as they looked at each other for a moment with longing in their eyes before Quinn tore open Drake’s shirt and the two began kissing once again.
“You should really start thinking about doing a girl a favour and staying dead.” Lacey said while knocking back her beer in a rundown dive bar as Paul and Pan’s mother Melinda sat down on a stool next to her placed at the bar counter.
“I know I’ve done you so many wrongs and I’ve wronged my children and my grandchild and I can’t ever fix what I destroyed but at the very least I can break a spell I should never have cast in the first place.” Melinda revealed to Lacey as she looked around to make sure nobody was paying too much attention.
“You mean you’ve found a way to break the spell?” Lacey asked in shock.
“Release this guardian from her chains release her from her magical reins.” Melinda chanted quietly. “The spell once cast is now reversed and Lacey will finally put Lacey first.”
“Is that it?” Lacey wondered. “It feels kind of anti-climatic after all these years.”
“That’s all I hope you one day forgive me for what I’ve done.” Melinda apologised to Lacey while standing up from her stool.
“I don’t get it after all this time why do you decide to break the spell when I’m needed more than ever before?” Lacey questioned the Halliwell ghost.
“Because Pan has suffered far too many losses and I can’t be to blame for another.” Melinda admitted to her. “Pan needs you to be safe more than I need you to play guardian.”
“Somehow I’m not entirely sure I’m her number one priority.” Lacey told Melinda.
“Of course, you’re not her family will always come first but I know you understand that.” Melinda replied to the detective. “Which means you must be talking about the infamous ex and all I can suggest there is to not let Pan’s past with Eve define your future with her.”
“Just how much do you overhear from up there exactly?” Lacey asked which was followed by her laughing.
“Enough to know that my daughter truly loves you and not her.” Melinda told her.
“I can’t be doing this we’ve got to stop doing this Quinn nothing ever comes from this and it hurts too much.” Drake admitted after pulling himself away from Quinn as the two remained in the caves of the Underworld. “You need to go and never come back.”
“I can’t leave without you Drake I know this isn’t what you want you’re nothing like your mother and you never will be.” Quinn replied to him.
“I can’t fight this thing inside of me it’s becoming too strong.” Drake said as his eyes began to go black once more. “You need to go now!”
“I’m not leaving you Drake!” Quinn made himself clear.
“Halliwell Manor!” Drake shouted as he waved his hand and made Quinn blink out of sight.
“I think Drake has somehow been infected by the woogy or at least that’s what our undead family have concluded but there’s still no way of locating him so instead of answers all I’m getting is more questions.” Paul rambled as Pan walked into the attic to find him stood behind the book of shadows.
“At least we’re one step closer to finding him,” Pan said before coming up with an idea almost instantly after. “Come to think of it what if we don’t find him?”
“So far you input is not helping.” Paul snapped at his younger sister.
“What if we use the reversal spell for the to find a lost witch spell and take ourselves to wherever he is.” Pan explained herself.
“Oh my god Pan you’re a genius.” Paul replied with excitement. “Although if we were smarter, we would’ve reached that conclusion seven days ago.”
“I found Drake and he’s possessed by…” Quinn began to say after orbing into the attic.
“The woogy.” Pan said interrupting her white lighter. “You’re kind of slow on the intake.”
“I was actually just going to say something but it’s good you guys bet me to the conclusion because that means there’s probably a spell all ready.” Quinn replied to them both before hearing a jingle in his ears. “Oh, great the elders want me right away I’m guessing it’s the conclusion of our terrible evaluation but they’re going to have to wait because Drake comes first.”
“Powers of the witches rise course unseen across the skies. Take us three to he wherever he may be. Take us there to settle there.” Pan and Paul chanted after Pan and Quinn walked over to be by Paul’s side before the three of them disappeared within a series of white orbs.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Eve screamed as she walked into the caves of the Underworld to find her son Drake sitting on her throne.
“I’ve been thinking being a prince isn’t all it’s cracked up to be I’d rather be king.” Drake admitted to her as he stood up from his mother’s throne. “Which means you’re going to have to go.”
“Okay you’re in some serious need of a time out mister.” Eve told her son before he summoned a fireball above his hand. “The woogy has seriously infected you Drake I’m the queen of hell!”
“Correction you were the queen of hell.” Drake replied before throwing the fireball in his mother’s direction to which she ducked managing to dodge the fireball which instead hit the floor of the cave as Paul, Pan and Quinn appeared in front of them both in a series of white orbs.
“Thank god,” Eve breathed a sigh of relief while looking at Pan. “Just banish the woogy out of him already!”
Paul and Quinn both looked at Eve with confusion in their eyes while Pan focused her attention on Drake raising both her hands to freeze the woogy inside the Halliwell hybrid making Drake fall to the ground while a dark smoke frozen in mid-air remained.
“I am light I am one too strong to fight. So, go away to where shadows dwell you cannot have this Halliwell.” Paul chanted making the dark smoke disappear out of sight much to everyone’s relief before Eve disappeared within a burst of flames.
“Well that was a very interesting week.” Drake said as he rose to his feet. “Do possessions happen a lot in this family because I have a feeling they do?”
“You have so much more to learn little nephew.” Pan cackled as Paul rushed over to Drake and hugged his son.
“I was so worried I lost you again I never ever want to lose you again!” Paul told his son as he continued to hug Drake tightly.
“Okay but your kind of doing more damaged than the woogy did right now.” Drake replied as he broke off their hug.
“I’m sorry.” Paul apologised before hugging his son once more as Pan and Quinn smiled at each other relieved to know this ordeal was over.
Drake stood in the spare bedroom while looking around the room with inspiration in his eyes as he began to think about all the ways he could decorate it into making it feel like his own bedroom.
“Does this mean your finally moving in?” Quinn asked as he orbed into the room.
“Well after spending a week with woogy I figured Paul and Pan would be less invasive roommates.” Drake replied.
“How are you feeling after everything?” Quinn wondered.
“Shouldn’t you be checking in with the elders they won’t be happy you’ve kept them waiting.” Drake told him.
“I figured checking in with you first is more important.” Quinn replied with a smile on his face.
“When you kissed me the woogy temporary moved out and it was me kissing you back.” Drake revealed to him.
“That’s the real reason I was checking in,” Quinn admitted as he moved closer towards Drake. “Where does that leave us now?”
“You’re a white lighter and I’m a demon it’s forbidden.” Drake answered him before Quinn kissed him on the lips.
“I’d break all the rules just to spend one day with you.” Quinn told him. “Drake I…”
Before Quinn could finish what, he had to say he suddenly felt himself forcefully orbing out of the room leaving Drake not knowing what he was about to say as he was left alone in his new room.
“To be continued I guess.” Drake replied with a sad sigh.
“I’m guessing that bedding is for Drake,” Pan said as she walked out of her room to find Paul stood in the hallway searching through a nearby cupboard where they kept towels and linen. “He said he’d move in, but he didn’t say he was moving in tonight.”
“I know he’s probably not going to move in tonight but I want his room to be ready so he can move in whenever he wants to.” Paul admitted with a sense of excitement in his voice.
“I don’t think you’ve glowed this much in years it’s good to see you happy.” Pan told her older brother. “It’s been too long.”
“No offense but I don’t do old bedding that’s stuffed in some family cupboard I’ll swing by the store later before coming back tonight to change the bed.” Drake said as he walked out of his room and over towards Paul and Pan. “Which brings me to the whole I’m going to need a new bed I get a lot of this place is antiques but antiques aren’t what your looking for when it comes to slumber time.”
“You want to move in tonight?” Pan asked, shocked by Drake’s sudden rush to move in.
“How late is later exactly?” Paul wondered as he closed the cupboard door. “Just so I know when to start cooking dinner.”
“I’m not sure I’ve got to vanquish the source of all evil first then I need to sweet talk Cindy into not firing me, so I’m guess pretty late.” Drake told them both, shocking them even further.
“If your wanting to vanquish your mother after what she’s done that’s understandable but don’t rush into something because your angry in case you wind up regretting it.” Pan replied to her nephew.
“I’m pissed off with her who wouldn’t be in my shoes but deciding to vanquish her isn’t a decision I’m making out of hate because I don’t hate her despite everything I kind of still like her but liking someone doesn’t mean they’re worth being liked.” Drake explain to his father and aunt. “She’s too dangerous to keep alive and it’s my duty to protect the innocent.”
“Vanquishing your mother isn’t going to be easy Drake.” Pan warned him.
“You’re going to need to learn a spell and it requires the power of three.” Paul revealed to his son.
“No worries I already ripped the page with the spell on it out of the book and I’ve been memorizing it since we got back.” Drake admitted much to Paul and Pan’s horror.
“You ripped a page out of the book of shadows?” Pan asked. “We don’t harm the book ever I mean that’s sacrilege!”
“I thought so but it’s pretty funny to see your reactions.” Drake laughed.
“Where are all the other elders?” Quinn asked Paige as the two of them stood within the clouds high above.
“I convinced them to let me deliver the verdict by myself I thought it’d be easier coming from just one of us.” Paige explained to him. “I think you’re doing a great job and you’re going to continue doing a great job it’s just the others don’t agree so much about the charmed ones being the right fit for you and I was out voted on keeping you as their white lighter.”
“This is because of me and Drake isn’t it?” Quinn asked. “He’s a charmed one first and just because he’s part demon doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be allowed to be with him.”
“Trust me when I say I couldn’t agree more with you Quinn but there’s still a lot of archaic angels up here and my work is never done trying to bring them into a more modern way of thinking.” Paige admitted to the white lighter. “I’m sorry but you’re no longer the charmed ones’ white lighter.”
“But I can’t leave them now, I can’t leave him.” Quinn said as tears began forming in his eyes. “I’m in love with him.”
Drake stood within the basement of the Halliwell Manor looking almost reluctant for a second while holding a crystal behind his back as his biological mother Eve appeared into the basement within a burst of flames.
“I’m sorry for taking that approach with you but it truly felt like I had no other choice.” Eve apologised to him.
“I’m an amazing person and I don’t need to change just to be accepted.” Drake told her.
“I do love you for exactly who you are when the woogy was inside you it made me realize just how much I’m glad that you’re nothing like me.” Eve revealed to her son before Drake walked over to her placing the finale crystal in the circle and trapping his mother in the crystal cage by doing so.
“I’m sorry for this I really am but you’re too much of a threat for mum.” Drake said as tears formed in his eyes while Pan and Paul appeared from the top of the stairs and began walking down.
“You’re calling me mum that’s all I ever truly wanted.” Eve cried. “Do what you need to do Drake just know I will never stop loving you and you will always be my son.”
Drake and Eve continued to cry as Pan and Paul reached the bottom of the stairs both grabbing a hold of one of Drake’s hands.
“Are you sure you want to do this Drake?” Pan asked her nephew.
“Goodbye mum!” Drake said to Eve as his voice began to break.
“Goodbye my beautiful boy.” Eve replied.
“Prudence, Piper, Phoebe, Penelope, Patricia, Melinda, Chris, Astrid, Helena, Laura and Grace. Halliwell witches stand strong beside us vanquish the evil through…” The charmed ones began to chant but before they could vanquish Eve, she suddenly blinked out of sight much to their confusion.
“What the hell just happened?” Pan asked them both.
“I have absolutely no idea.” Paul replied.
“You almost found yourself vanquished by the charmed ones after allowing them to rid the woogy from your son if we didn’t pull our powers together in time you would be dead.” One of the three robed triad members said to Eve who appeared in front of them within a blink in the caves of the Underworld.
“Well it’s a good thing I hand picked my new triad very wisely then.” Eve replied to them.
“You should’ve never let it get so close.” Another triad member shouted at the source before removing his hood to reveal himself as Eric Morgan.
“Things aren’t that easy father!” Eve snapped at him. “Having a son who’s a charmed one is bound to complicate some things.”
“Now is not the time to grow sentimental we need Drake on our side whether he wants to be or not especially after dealing with his rather annoying human.” Eric or at least the demon inside of Eric Morgan told his daughter.
“Which human?” Eve asked before realizing. “What did you do to the detective?”
Pan went to knock the door of Lacey’s family home only to be left alarmed after noticing the door was slightly open by itself knowing a detective would never leave their home open especially not her detective she decided to walk into her girlfriend’s home.
“Lacey!” Pan shouted as she walked through the foyer of the Morgan family home only to be left horrified to find Lacey’s lifeless and blood covered body laying on the floor of the living room causing her to scream frantically as she ran over to Lacey, kneeling over and picking up her body into her arms. “No, Lacey you can’t be gone! Lacey!”
Pan continued to scream her girlfriend’s name repeated as she sobbed over the lifeless body of the woman she loved.
#paigematthews#charmedchildren#childrenofcharmed#childrenofcharacter#charmed#charmed fanfic#charmedfanfiction#charmed fic#originalcharmed#originalcharacters#charmedfan#charmedagain#charmedforever#lgbt fanfiction#lgbtfanfic#gay fanfiction#gayfanfic#fanfiction#fanfic#fanficcast#episode10#season1#seasonfinale#intothedarkness#whitelighters#elders#witches#demons#monsters#thesourceofallevil
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A Heated Heart (Peter Parker x Reader) Part 4
(Warnings: Cursing, more making out, teenage hormones man)
Summary: Reader is pissed cause it has been a few weeks since her rescue make out with spiderman and ever since then Peter has been avoiding her like the plague. When she finally gets the chance to talk to him, she let's loose and Peter can't hide his staring and she figures out why and his secret identity is no longer a secret.
Alright. She can take a hint. (Y/n) wasn't born yesterday, nor was she raised under a rock, she could tell when someone was avoiding her. And that little bitch Parker was avoiding her. No, no, she shouldn't let her anger get the best of her. But it had been almost a whole month of him seeing her in the hallways, only to turn the other way. Of switching seats in every class they had and secretly begging teachers (she got nosy) to keep her busy as their TA. If she got to be near him long enough to speak, he'd stick his earbuds in or talk to Ned if they also shared the class together. She was not sure what she did wrong, if she remembered correctly it was Parker who had left her high and dry on their study date, so she should be the one avoiding him.
"Alright Parker, two can play at this game" (Y/n) grumbled to herself, her new mission set in place the next day. She started it off simply enough, she stopped trying to catch his attention or confront him. With a few days of her doing this, and him now sneaking worried glances her way, she bumped it up a notch. She started to wear revealing clothing. Yes, it was a bit childish for her to show skin, and get Peter to react cause of this, but she was past the point of not being petty. But it got her the reaction she desired. When she walked into biology in a sun dress that was borderline skimpy with the way it looked (but it did in fact cover enough of her, looks can be deceiving), she looked fleetingly at everyone in the class, her eyes landing on Peter long enough to see his eyes wide and jaw slack. Her eyes showed disinterest as she flicked her bangs away from her face and she sat in her seat, seeming to forget she was wearing a dress as she lifts her feet and plops them on the teachers desk like she usually does while in this class. While there was a few snickers no one made a bigger scene then Peter who promptly slammed his head against his desk on accident (he was leaning on his hand when he saw her do this and his hand slipped).
"Is there something you wish to say Mr. Parker?" The teacher asks as Peter scrambles to sit properly and shakes his head flustered.
"A-ah. No n-no sir n-not at all. Great job" Peter gives the teacher a awkward smile and thumbs up before rubbing the back of his head. The teacher hums with a slightly questioning look, before turning to see what could be the reason for the quiet sniggering and smacks (Y/n)'s feet causing her to jump slightly and shift her legs enough for Peter to catch a sight of her underwear. He groans and covers his face in embarrassment and misery. They were Lacey and seemed to have a pattern on them. Upon noticing everyone looking at him Peter rubs his head as he looks at the teacher apologetically. "S-sorry"
(Y/n) sniggers as she is asked by the teacher to help Peter, who has been struggling all period and seems to be making a mess. Once she reaches Peter and Ned's table she notices how Ned looks sympathetic but isn't helping Peter one bit. You get behind him and lean over Peter, noticing how he tenses as you look at his scribbles in concentration to try and see where he is messing up.
"Geez Parker this is grade school stuff where your messing up at. Right here you got the variables switched up" (Y/n)'s voice talking in his ear has shivers down his spine as he's brought back to the day in the alley, her hot mouth ravaging his and how he had to go home after he got her home safely and ja- take a shower. He snaps out of it when he sees her smooth (s/c) hand reach over his shoulder to point at the variables she spoke of. "Right here" she whispers, her breath warm and comforting, he catches a whiff of what he would consider heaven (but he knows must be some perfume or body spray she put on that appeals to her natural scent) as she looks at him.
"O-oh. R-right. Um, thanks" Peter stutters out lamely as he fumbles with his pencil to erase and switch the variable's. He didn't know he made such a bad error, but he was really distracted by (y/n) lately. She had begun to ignore him and not even acknowledge him anymore, not even attempting to talk to him. He cursed at himself because he knew it was because of him avoiding her every time he saw her in the hallways, or ignoring her himself when they were in class. But every time he saw her all could remember was that time in the alley and he didn't want to reveal to her who he was and ruin what they had, and he also wanted to keep her safe from the danger his super hero life entailed.
"...Peter! Dude, c'mon class has been out for a while now, I'll meet you at the lunchroom alright man?" Ned asks, causing Peter to snap out of his inner turmoil as he nods his head in confirmation and gets his stuff ready to leave. (Y/n) notices this and instantly swoops in. She enjoys the twinge of satisfaction she feels when she pinches Peters ass and he yelps because of this, only when he turns and realizes its her does he make a noise similar to a squeak and seems to be speechless and he stares at her. He looks flustered as she traps him against the table and she glares at him.
"Alright Parker I don't know why you have been avoiding me but I'm officially pissed so you better tell me before you make me do something I'll regret" (Y/n)'s voice sounds calm enough but Peter can hear the undertones of raw and pure anger.
"Me? A-avoiding you?! I-I don't know what your talking ah, um about" Peters face flushes a noticeable red as he keeps sneaking glances at her lips and licks his in response. (Y/n) notices this instantly since she has been staring at him intently. Once his eyes flicker up to hers he seems to fidget and look away with rosy cheeks, biting his lip.
"What is up with you Peter?!.....did...did I do something??" Peter quickly looks at her in what seems to be horror as he grabs her hands and holds onto them tightly.
"W-What?!! N-no you haven't done anything! I just-" Peter groans as he subconsciously looks at your lips in what seems to be longing and licks his lips again and looks away with a long sigh. "I'm sorry to make you worry (y/n)" he lowers his voice and your eyes seem to slightly widen as you recognize that tone instantly.
"No fucking way, you have got to be shitting me" You say as you look at Peter in disbelief and he cannot help but to look at you in confusion. But all you do is shake your head and look Peter up and down. "That's why your acting like this Parker? Cause your spiderman?!" You whisper yell this as you peer around to make sure the teacher took their lunch break. Peter's eyes look like their about to pop out of his head
"Wh-what?! N-no no I'm not Spiderman, why would you say that?!" Peter whisper yells as he tries not to freak out too much. Your not buying it as you roll your eyes.
"Cut the crap Peter. No way did you suddenly become obsessed with my lips. The only person I've made out with this last month is Spiderman and judging by how your acting like a virgin when you get near me, you really need to work on the whole secret identity thing dude. Control your hormones a bit" You snort a bit but by the end of your statement your staring at Peter with wide eyes as you finally are processing what has gone down. Peter Parker, the cute, geeky bastard you have been falling in love with, is SPIDERMAN.
Both of you stare at one another for a long time, neither paying attention to how much time has passed or how much time is left in lunch, no doubt Ned was probably wondering where Peter was. But that was the farthest thing from either of your minds. Your eyes widen when you watch as Peters eyes get slightly hooded and he grabs your face, registering what he mumbles under his breath.
"Fuck it" Peter mumbles before he kisses you with as much passion as he can put into his second kiss. He feels a bit insecure not sure if he is doing it right, but he sure as hell got a confidence boost when he feels you melt into his body and moan into his mouth as you wrap your arms around him and thread your fingers in his hair. He let's out a grunt before he slips out a moan of his own as he brings his hands down to your hips and pulls you even closer than before. He nibbles slightly on your lips like he's been daydreaming about, pleased to find out that you like it as you moan and open your mouth, allowing him to slip his tongue into your mouth. Your tongues fight for dominance before you give in and decide to let Peter have this win as he happily explores your mouth before he begins to pull away, leaving you breathless.
"So glad I made out with you in that alleyway" (Y/n) gasps out as Peter can't help the goofy grin he gets on his face as he pecks her cheek and holds (y/n) close to himself.
"I'm glad that was my thank you" You lightly smack his chest but don't fight the smile on your face as you snuggle up to him.
"Guess this means were dating right?" (Y/n) questions as Peter grins and looks at her with awe and adoration on his face.
"I g-guess so, well, I mean I hope so" Peter whispers shyly as you smile and reach up to kiss him lightly on the lips. You were glad you found out his little secret, cause if you didn't you were sure he wouldn't have gotten the courage to confess (in his own weird way). Sure you were still upset about the long ass month of what seemed to be him avoiding you out of embarrassment, but you were okay with it if it all added up to this moment.
~alright that's it, its done, might have to make one more chapter with smut maybe or just a cute epilogue with reader having fun with her new boyfriend being spiderman. Either or it will be a epilogue that I might do.~
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Hi-Jacking Australia Day: Photo Op Fail Shows That The Mayor Knows How Deep She Is In The Electoral Doo-Doos
Shameless in its hypocrisy, utterly stupid in its transparency Jenny Hill and her team claim honours they WERE NOT awarded, in a bumbled bit of cheap campaigning chicanery. For all that, The Pie owes Jenny Hill an apology or does he? Could it be that he err short-changed her when writing about the LGAQ last week? There seems to be some murky financial (albeit apparently legal) fancy financial footwork in the local governments published reports. The Pie has a beak around to see if he really must offer to Jenny what she was forced to offer Clive Palmer an abject apology. (Good luck with the $50 grand part of it, though.) An unfortunate choice by the Townsville Chamber of Commerce and a truly shameful one by the Bulletin.. Plus, Bentleys hilarious take that will make Katter go Katter-tonic and in addition to our usual visual visit to the week in Trumpistan, a wonderful pictorial insight into how time reverses our values. But first Bobs A Real Pain The Arse The Mad Katter was at again this week, describing homosexuality as a fashion trend, and making the ingenuous dopey statement that In my whole life up to 50, I had never seen or heard of a homosexual person. Well, you probably met heaps of them, Bob, but in that time period, the laws of the day made it advisable not to advertise the fact. And one wonders if he doth protest a tad much could the Member for Kennedy be on a late-life slide into iniquity? Theres been a hint when you host a barbie in a shirt that looks like it was bought at Peter Allen garage sale, casually slung over a Ripcurl T-shirt, youre poised at the top of the slippery slope we call life-style choices. Indeed, our visionary toonist Bentley can clearly see the next passing phase for our Bob. Of course, this is all in fun, we all know that Bob is a solid, upstanding member, a real hands-on bloke who has a strong grip on things despite all his giggling and gasping. Still In Bentley territory, our man reckons not everybody is unhappy with our current heat wave across the country. And he is right about The Pies reaction, but being a considerate chap, Bentley has omitted the brown stains in the water behind the old bird. Low Blow In a shameful tabloid attempt at sensationalism, the Townsville Bulletin has surpassed itself on this, our national day when we talk up that we live in The Land of the Fair Go. In one of the most denigrating efforts yet by this floundering fish of a paper, we were treated to this below-the-belt guilt by association dog whistling front page. And the sleazy effort just got worse and worse, especially when a reporter quizzed him with what can only be an accusatory question on any possible involvement with his aunts drug dealing, indicated by the use of the word denied. QUOTE: Mr Dametto denied having any prior knowledge of his aunts alleged involvement with drugs before her arrest and assured his constituents, he did not condone the use of dangerous drugs. I havent (been involved in drugs) nor any other member of my family to my knowledge, Mr Dametto said.(The alleged offending) has nothing to do with me, its something she has to sort out herself. UNQUOTE The fact that they asked the question no one had considered, with not a shred of even remote suggestion, is straight up political dog whistling the chorus of Ha! yeah, right from the LNP and Labor banjo-playing set is already plunking away. If Jenna Cairney and her band of work experience reporters think this is a good tactic to fill space, perhaps theyd like to door knock the parents and relatives of the juvenile little shits charged with stealing cars and property, and ask them if they had any prior knowledge or involvement the exploits of their little snots. One imagines such effrontery would meet with what some cops describe as summary justice and no argument there from this old bird. Truly base stuff, Ms Cairney. And Your Bizarre Story Placements Continue Apace Jeez-us, fair dinkum. When It Comes To Snide Stupidity, Jenna And Jenny Make A Pigeon Pair If ever proof was needed that our mayor is wetting herself about her plunging popularity and failure to fool ANY of the people ANY of the time, it came in the online Bulletin this weekend. Heres a little puzzle of current affairs test for you. Read the caption first, and then see a) how many Australia Day award winners you can spot, and b) see how many Team Hill councillors you can spot. And the Astonisher certainly has its political priorities right the caption lists Mayor Mullet and Premier Alphabet but failed to mention that dorky looking bloke in the center. Oh, him, hes not worth mentioning, just the Governor of Queensland and former Chief Justice Paul de Jersey. But then have a look along the line search as he could, The Pie was not able to see it reported anywhere that either Clr Ann-Maree Greaney, Clr Maurie Soares, Clr Colleen Boo Hoo Doyle, Clr Les Messagebank Walker, Mayor Mullet Jenny Hill, or Clr Kurt Rehbein had received any Australia Day honours. So WTF are THEY doing, holding some sort of prize, which if it is an Australia Day Award, is grossly dishonest to say the least a pathetic please re-elect me plea? They are making themselves out to be winners of some sort which is looking more and more unlikely next time around. But OK, why is the old bird surprised, this is about the level of honesty weve come to expect from these denizens of the Walker Street trough. Its such a thigh-slapping inept attempt at campaign virtue signalling it has just proved two things shes desperate and shes dumb. But or All that, Mayor Mullet May Get Back In A new study of Townsville voters has discovered why we have the political representation we have. Well, at least it explains it for us, but not much can be done, youd reckon. Now, Having Said That, Maybe The Magpie Owes Mrs Hill An Apology Last week and on a couple of previous occasions The Pie has snidely written that Mayor Mullet picks up $31K a year in fees plus expenses for attending 6 LGAQ meeting a year as one of the three ordinary directors of the Association. She will retain that position until June 2020. Well, shame-faced as he is to say it, it appears that The Magpie may be WRONG (clutch the pearls to throat, gals, splutter in your Scotch and Fanta, gents). And this error is a direct, albeit unintended, slur on our mayor, by wantonly questioning the worth of her invaluable visionary qualities and her legendary financial acumen, particularly in Indian industrial and aviation matters. Because it seems her spare-time gig at the LGAQ earns her nowhere near $31,000 p.a. It looks like its closer to $95,000 per annum! Which becomes even more interesting when you consider that the TCC pays about $250K a year membership, so it in essence means that her services to the LGAQ are in fact paid for by Townsville ratepayers as part of the citys membership fee. Indeed, it seems we stump up a total a very worth while total, mind you, who could argue of just under $300,000 a year for her incomparable leadership as she charts a clever path out of our current financial and employment morass. The Pie humbly apologises for underselling you so despicably, Mrs Hill, when you devote so much of your time so selflessly to the public good of Townsville. There will be sneering Doubting Thomases who question your championing of the Local Buy procurement arm of the LGAQ, which actually takes work OUT of this city. Those doubters say that the claimed efficiencies dont actually save the council anything, but pshaw! what would they know? They simply have no head for these sorts of figures and deals and they certainly dont understand the pressures of your obligation to an organisation that slips you almost a hundred grand a year to raise your voting arm when told. Oh, the irony, the irony. But, You Cry, Is This True? Well, it certainly seems so to better financial sleuths than The Magpie, but it all depends how you decipher the murky and ambiguous figures published by he LGAQ. Rubbery was a word bandied about frequently. And just to pique our interest, there is a little mystery item mentioned, but that later on. Lets go the LGAQ Annual Report, where on page 35 we find this as a starter. Now the remuneration seems pretty clear there sort of but it has the rubbery words ranged between. (And a brief digression they sure aint bound by pissant thoughts of CPI or inflation down at the LGAQ note the rise in fees from 2017 to 2018 a tasty 35% for the president and an eye-watering 100% for directors. And the 2017 figures dont add up anyway, which is rubbery/sloppy in itself, with no explanation offered. Makes one wonder. The question here is would someone like Jenny Hill from a place the size of Townsville (for round figures, let say 200,000) be willing to accept the same stipend as say Alf Lacey from Palm Island, which has what, about three to five thousand people? Methinks not in a month of Sundays, and PI membership would be a tiny fraction of Townsvilles.) Then we see this chart, which again seem clear. Or is it not? The disparity between the President and the directors $137,422 v $31,000 ($94,280 split three ways rounded out here) is not believable to one executive who deals in these areas. He thinks the real remuneration, especially for Jenny Hill, is actually about $94,000. But whether it totals that from these figures (where there would obviously have to be some accounting error), things get even more interesting if he scroll back to page 20, we find this And this Now these reports can be heavy going even for accountants at times, and impossible for the likes by The Magpie, but our experienced Magpie mate writes: The cost of directors fees and meeting fees for the year are $618,294 (page 20) this would kind of add up to me like 3 directors @ $95k plus the president @ $137k total of $422k leaving another $196k to be accounted for so I think the directors get 95K still and travel and accommodation listed separately as $734,441 (page 20) So all in all, maybe Jenny Hill is worth the money she gets as a director worth it to the LGAQ, anyway, when it presumably is she who calls the shots on the councils membership fees. All this is courtesy of the Townsville ratepayers. The loveliness continues. Oh, and that little mystery. Just this But to be sure, since the LGAQ runs an insurance arm, it will surely be covered for whatever alleged indiscretion did or did not take place either way, it gunna cost. A (un-doctored) Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words A somewhat antiquated clich borne out by an alert reader who reckons his shot in Flinders Street just about sums up Townsvilles quandary. And another reader pic is being repeated across the city at a growing rate. Sloppy unfinished work and weeds all around contractor or council, totally unacceptable, and could be a traffic hazard, especially in the wet. Of course, not all councils can get things right, even the mighty Randwick Council in Sydney which has its own wrestle with signage. Be interesting if a Great Dane owned by a dwarf takes a dump. Did The Townsville Chamber of Commerce Really Think About The Wisdom Of This? Putting an image of a hungry looking porker on the stationery of an outfit representing private business seems a bit risky. But it gets more pointed when it is advertising a Townsville information session for the LGAQs Local Buy mob. Of course, in very small print, the presence of porky is explained as recognition of the Chambers Chinese membership, it is the Year of the Pig. Well, come to think of it, it IS an election year Pot Calling Kettle Award Of The Week. This goes to US Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo, addressing an emergency meeting of the Organisation of American States last Wednesday on the unrest in Venezuela, and rescinding recognition of the elected leader. He said: The time for debate is done. The regime of former President Nicholas Maduro is illegitimate. His regime is morally bankrupt, economically incompetent and it is profoundly corrupt. It is undemocratic to the core. All absolutely correct except for two words, and many Americans know which two they are but guess you wouldnt know, Mikey, what a gerbil performance history awaits you, fella. We can shortly expect Trump to recognise Pauline Hanson as Australias legitimate leader, and for the forthcoming elections to be cancelled, since elections have little meaning in Washington. Apparently. But before Trump can make any such declaration how Australia can be governed, he will need the permission of the man behind him. And thats just the start for this week in Trumpistan. And Finally, For A Final Rueful Laugh Or Two. Time and technology play unexpected tricks on us, taking just a few short years to reverse human behaviour. .. Thats it for this week, but as usual, comments are running hot on all sorts of topics, so have your say, comments can be posted 24/7. And if youre in a kindly mood (or just drunk, doesnt matter) a donation to help the old bird keep floating above it all is always appreciated and put to good use. The how to donate button is below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/hi-jacking-australia-day-photo-op-fail-shows-that-the-mayor-knows-how-deep-she-is-in-the-electoral-doo-doos/
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Heatstroke - chapter 11
In which Gold and Lacey’s loved ones try to reason with them
[AO3]
x
Gold watched as Lacey scuttled across the diner behind Miss Lucas, very pointedly not looking at him. Neal glanced at him, then turned, following his line of sight.
“Oh, hey,” he said. “It’s your neighbour. Least we know she has clothes, I guess.”
“That was her?” Emma craned her neck, staring as Lacey disappeared through the door. “Holy crap! Go, Pops!”
“I’m not going anywhere,” said Gold repressively. “And certainly not with Miss French.”
Emma shrugged, turning back and slipping out of her jacket.
“Just saying, she’s very pretty.”
“And as I’ve already mentioned,” said Gold patiently, “she detests me.”
“You don’t know that!”
“She left the diner as soon as I came in,” he said. “That seems pretty clear-cut to me.”
“Poor thing’s probably just embarrassed,” said Neal.
“Yes, anyone prepared to get naked in someone else’s house is clearly a shrinking violet,” remarked Gold, in a very dry tone.
“She was prepared to get naked in front of you,” said Emma. “She wasn’t prepared for someone else being the audience. It would be like me thinking Neal was in the kitchen and doing my sexy dance, and it turns out to be you. Pretty sure I’d go to bed for a week.”
Gold closed his eyes.
“I - really didn’t need to hear about the sexy dance…”
“Embarrassing, right?” said Neal. “Imagine how she feels.”
“Well, maybe it’ll teach her not to flash people,” said Gold. “I have no sympathy. She was probably trying to embarrass me, anyway.”
“Fine,” sighed Emma. “I’m falling back on my ‘you’re both as bad at flirting as each other’ idea. Why don’t you just ask her out, save the poor girl any more humiliation.”
“Ask her out?” Gold stared at her incredulously. “She’s a bloody disaster! And I very much doubt I’m her type.”
“Why not?”
“Because…” He flapped a hand at the door that Lacey had just hurried through. “Look at her! And - and look at me!”
“You’re both short and stupid,” said Neal. “Match made in heaven.”
“I thought you two weren’t going to tease me about this,” snapped Gold, as Emma laughed.
“I see you’re not denying the fact that she’s hot,” she said. “How do you know what her type is, anyway?”
“I don’t,” he said shortly. “I just know it isn’t me.”
“Did she tell you that?”
“Can we just order dinner?” snapped Gold, snatching up the menu. “I have no desire to spend the evening in a futile discussion about Miss French, thank you.”
“Whatever you say,” said Emma, winking at him. “But you know what I’m like after a couple of drinks, so you’d better brace yourself for some questions later on.”
“What can I say?” Neal shrugged as Gold shot him an exasperated look. “I married an investigator. You’re screwed.”
x
Lacey slumped in a chair at The Rabbit Hole, shrugging out of her jacket and draping it over her bag beneath her feet. She watched Ruby weave her way back from the bar, a drink in each hand.
“Here you go.” Ruby put down the glasses, and took the seat across from her. “Let’s see if we can beat last night’s total. It’s not often I get Friday and Saturday off, so I plan on getting wasted.”
“My usual weekend,” remarked Lacey, and Ruby chuckled.
“Granny’ll probably wake me up at six tomorrow morning on purpose,” she said. “Apparently the best hangover cure is deep cleaning the grills. According to her.”
Lacey shuddered, taking a drink.
“Think I’ll limit my morning activity to yoga and coffee drinking,” she said. “I have to recover by Monday, I have a breakfast interview with that West woman.”
“Zelena?” Ruby’s mouth twisted in amusement. “You’re interviewing her?”
“Sidney’s idea,” said Lacey. “Something about her charity dance thing. I’m hoping she doesn’t remember that I told her to go screw herself when she cut in line at the Dark Star.”
“Well, she certainly likes her fundraisers,” remarked Ruby. “Maybe focus on that.”
“What can you tell me about her?” asked Lacey, and Ruby shrugged.
“Not much. She moved up here from New York a few years ago. There was some sort of rumour going around that she was hiding from something, but I don’t know if there’s any truth in that. She’s kind of - intense. I get the feeling she doesn’t like the Mayor.”
“Why not?”
“No idea. Just caught her giving Regina the stink-eye a few times.”
“Okay.” Lacey hesitated, stirring her drink again. “Sidney said she flirts with Mr Gold.”
“Oh!” Ruby cackled, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “Boy, does she ever. It’s embarrassing! He used to come in the diner for coffee at seven-thirty each morning, and I’m almost positive the reason he’s moved to eight-thirty is because she kept fawning over him.”
“Ugh.” Lacey shuddered. “So I guess the feeling isn’t mutual.”
“No, but she’s not taking the hint,” said Ruby, still grinning.
Lacey took another drink, enjoying the smooth heat of rum on her tongue, and Ruby rolled her shoulders with a contented sigh, glancing towards the bar.
“Pretty quiet for a Saturday, huh?”
“You mean we managed to get a table?” Lacey looked around. “Guess it’s early. Hadn’t planned to leave Granny’s so quickly.”
“Yeah, what’s up with that?” Ruby stirred her drink with a straw. “I get you being embarrassed about the whole kitchen nakedness thing, but Neal isn’t a jerk. Or a creep. He wouldn’t have said anything to you.”
“It’s not him I’m worried about,” muttered Lacey, stabbing at the ice cubes in her drink.
“You’re still worried about Gold?” Ruby shook her head. “I told you, just act like nothing happened. He’ll be fine.”
“And if he isn’t?”
“Why do you even care?” asked Ruby. “You don’t strike me as the kind of person who gets hung up over stupid mistakes. If you were you wouldn’t come out drinking with me.”
“I don’t know!” said Lacey, feeling frustrated. “I’ve done stuff that’s way worse. I once streaked the length of the football field for a dare. In the middle of the last game of the season. The number of people that have seen me naked is actually pretty high.”
“Well, there you go.” Ruby gestured at her. “So why the hang-up over what Gold thinks?”
“I told you, I don’t know!”
Ruby sat back in her chair, brows lowering a little before shooting upwards as she leaned forwards, mouth open.
“Oh my God!” she whispered. “You like him!”
“What?” Lacey stared at her incredulously. “I do not!”
“Oh you so do!” Ruby’s expression was half delight, half disbelief. “This is amazing! You totally have the hots for Mr Gold!”
“Would you shut up?” Lacey snapped, glancing around anxiously to see if any of the Rabbit Hole regulars had overheard. “I don’t have the hots for the guy! I don’t know anything about him, except that he’s really comfortable with getting his cock out.”
“That’s not a bad thing…”
“Ruby!”
“Okay, fine!” Ruby rolled her eyes. “I won’t say anything else about it.”
“Good.”
“Guess you’re in denial. I can wait.”
“Ruby!”
“Okay, okay!”
Ruby picked up her glass, grinning at Lacey over the rim.
“Any bright ideas about that interview you want to do with him?”
“No,” said Lacey grumpily. “If you can think of any, now’s the time to tell me.”
“You could always do it over a nice romantic dinner…”
“Oh my God…”
Lacey slumped back in her chair as Ruby giggled, snatching up her drink and taking a gulp.
“Alright, I’ll stop teasing,” said Ruby, taking a sip of her own. “How about this? Send Darcy over with an invite. Since he’s so adept at breaking into Gold’s house.”
Lacey had to chuckle at that.
“Wouldn’t be surprised if that’s where he’s been eating,” she admitted. “If so, at least I know Gold likes cats.”
“And you’re interested in this little piece of trivia why, exactly?” enquired Ruby, raising a brow.
Lacey opened her mouth, then closed it again.
“I am not interested in him,” she said flatly. “And - and even if I was it wouldn’t matter.”
“Why not?”
“Because he hates me, that’s why.”
“You don’t know that!”
“I do!” she insisted. “He threw a bloody drink over me!”
“You threw one over him!”
“Yeah, but there were reasons!” said Lacey. “And - and besides, we have nothing in common!”
“You’re both blind idiots,” said Ruby bluntly. “Match made in heaven.”
Lacey sighed in exasperation, and drained her glass.
“Right, I’m getting another round,” she said. “The sooner we’re too drunk to even mention Gold’s name, the better.”
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Heatstroke - chapter 8
*snickers*
[AO3]
x
“Here.” Sidney Glass dropped a file on her desk, making Lacey look up. “Next assignment.”
She sat back slowly, picking up the file and raising an eyebrow.
“So what is it this time?” she asked. “Flower-arranging at the local church? First prize in the pumpkin-growing contest?”
“Pumpkins aren’t in season yet.”
“Then the story will only be slightly more boring than it otherwise would be.”
Sidney sighed.
“I have no idea why you even moved here if you find it so dull,” he said. “Wouldn’t you have more fun in the city?”
She gave him an amused look.
“Would you believe me if I said I actually wanted a quiet life?”
“Not really.”
“It’s true,” she insisted. “Or at least it’s mostly true. I grew up in a small town. Being back in one is kind of - it’s like I’m a teenager again, so I’m rebelling against it even though I know it’s a good place to live, you know?”
“Good,” said Sidney. “In that case you won’t mind writing a piece on Zelena West’s charity work.”
“Charity work,” Lacey snorted. “She’s a mean-spirited witch.”
“True enough, but she still organises the food drive every year.”
“Probably because it’s the only way she can hold any power over people,” said Lacey. “I bet she takes the best stuff for herself.”
“Get some proof of that and the piece might get interesting,” said Sidney. “In the meantime just stick to the brief.”
“Five times Zelena West didn’t get bitch-slapped for talking shit about people and one time she did?” suggested Lacey.
Sidney chuckled as he sat back down at his desk, sending her an amused look.
“I’d read that,” he said. “But she’s going beyond the food drive this year. A charity dance. All profits to the church outreach program.”
“Wow.” Lacey pursed her lips. “She trying to bang the priest?”
“I doubt it,” said Sidney, shuddering. “She’s been trying to get her claws into Mr Gold.”
“Really?” Lacey sat up, an odd sensation going through her. It almost felt like outrage, which she couldn’t understand. “She had any success?”
“What do you think?” he said dryly, and she nodded, settling back in the chair.
“Okay, I’ll interview her,” she said. “If she’ll talk to me.”
“Good.”
There was a moment of silence. Sidney tapped at something on his keyboard, glancing at the screen in front of him. Lacey pondered the unwelcome image of Zelena West throwing herself at Gold, and shuddered just as Sidney had. Not that Zelena was unattractive. Just unstable. Lacey got the feeling she didn’t easily take a hint, and she was almost intrigued to know what Gold’s response to her would be.
It had been several days since she had come across Gold naked at the cabin. Clearly the guy was comfortable letting everything hang out. Maybe that was how he relaxed. She supposed she could understand that. It wasn’t as though it had been an unpleasant sight, anyway, just - unexpected. She still hadn’t summoned the courage to go and apologise to him, and told herself they had both been busy.
“So,” said Lacey, putting her feet up on the desk and her arms behind her head. “Mr Gold. What’s his deal?”
Sidney looked surprised at the question.
“Well, he’s landlord for most of Storybrooke,” he said. “Owns a pawnshop, richest guy in town…”
“No.” She shook her head. “I mean, what’s his history? He married? Single?”
Sidney’s surprise turned into alarm.
“Please don’t tell me you’re planning on hitting on him.”
“What? No!” Lacey was surprised at her own vehemence. “No, it’s not like that. I’m just - interested, that’s all. He seems like kind of a loner.”
“Well, he keeps to himself, that’s for sure,” said Sidney.
“That has to get to you, after a while,” observed Lacey, tapping a pen against her lower lip. “Alone every night, only your own thoughts for company… You think he’s into anything weird?”
“Oh, I can’t begin to tell you how much I do not want to think about that,” muttered Sidney, and Lacey smirked.
“That’s not a no.”
Sidney sighed, slapping a file down on her desk.
“I don’t know a thing about Gold’s private life,” he said. “No one does. He keeps it - well, private.”
“So he could spend every Friday night dressed in leather and riding a huge butt plug and no one in town would know?”
“Oh my…” Sidney ran his hands over his face. “I’m gonna need bleach to get rid of that mental image.”
“You’re welcome.”
Lacey snickered, and Sidney shook his head.
“Look, aside from being a hardass with people who don’t pay their rent, he’s quiet and reserved and spends every hour holed up in the pawn shop,” he said. “He’s a generous donor to Storybrooke General Hospital, particularly the children’s ward. He takes a walk every morning and gets coffee at Granny’s. About as straight-laced as you can get.”
“It’s always the quiet ones.”
Sidney sighed, shaking his head.
“Okay, you want to cover something more interesting than the church fundraiser, and I want to pretend this conversation never happened,” he said. “How about we make a deal?”
Lacey perked up.
“Really?” she said. “What deal?”
“Simple,” said Sidney. “Get Gold to give you an interview.”
Lacey felt her face fall.
“You’re kidding, right?”
“You get him to agree to sit down and talk to you for half an hour, you’ll do something no one else at the Mirror ever has,” said Sidney. “Make it something personal and I’ll even give you a raise.”
“But he hates me,” she complained.
“Why would he hate you?”
Lacey shrank down in the chair a little.
“We kind of - got off on the wrong foot,” she muttered, and he shrugged.
“Guess you can’t want that raise too much.”
“Okay, not so fast,” she said, sitting up again. “I’m not saying I won’t do it, I’m just saying - well, it’s not gonna be easy, that’s all.”
“Nothing worthwhile ever is,” said Sidney. “So I’m told.”
x
Gold made his way up the path, wincing at every step. His leg had been giving him hell all day, and he suspected that it meant rain was coming. It was a night for taking a couple of painkillers, drinking whisky and losing himself in a good book while he waited for them to take effect.
He mounted the steps, pausing when he saw a cardboard box in front of the door. Probably his delivery of special ingredients from August’s in Boston. He found that Storybrooke could satisfy most of his culinary needs, by and large, but there were things he couldn’t get in town, like dried porcini, smoked paprika and loose-leaf Earl Grey tea. Smiling at the thought of the things he could make with the box contents, he opened the front door, scooped up the box and went inside.
It had been a long day, and he went straight to the kitchen, dropping the box onto the table and pouring himself a glass of wine before shrugging out of his coat. Taking a sip, he pulled a knife from the wooden block and sliced open the tape sealing the box. The contents made him frown; he was used to gleaming jars of ingredients nestled in packing noodles. This box was padded with scrunched up brown paper, wedged around boxes containing - oh.
Gold withdrew one of the boxes, a full ten inches, the cardboard thick and gleaming, silky to the touch. On the box was a picture of an anatomically-improbable plastic penis, the text on the box boasting ‘realistic feel and ten-speed vibration’. He dropped it back, picking up a smaller, square box with a bright pink wand made of curved silicone. Intense clitoral stimulation for rapid climax, announced the box. Perfect for solo play.
Gold pushed the box back in amongst the brown paper, flipping the lid closed again and eyeing the label that he hadn’t bothered to check. Miss L French. Of course.
He could feel his cheeks heating, and a vision of Lacey using the products on herself burst into full colour in his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying and failing to dispel it and cursing the telltale twitch of his cock. The image changed, and to his dismay he realised he was imagining himself using the toys on a very naked Lacey, her body undulating against his as she moaned in pleasure. His cock began to swell, and Gold shook his head, remembering the look on her face when she had seen him naked, the disparaging words she had used to describe the encounter to Miss Lucas. The images disappeared at once, and he sagged in relief. Sighing to himself, he was about to seek out some tape to seal the box again when he paused, fingers drumming against the sides. Fuck it. I’m taking it over there now. If she’s the one embarrassed by our encounter it’ll make a bloody change.
x
Lacey peered inside the fridge, chewing her lip and trying to decide which of the unappetising contents to have for dinner. She really needed to go grocery shopping, but kept forgetting that Storybrooke’s stores didn’t stay open late. One drawback of being in a small town.
She closed the fridge door and opened the freezer section. God, not frozen pizza again! Jesus, Lacey, get your life together. The cat eats better than you.
As though he had heard her thoughts, Darcy appeared at her feet, mewing, and she sighed, pulling out a pizza box and dropping it on the counter.
“I have to learn to cook something more than omelettes,” she told him.
Darcy stood on his back legs, paws against the fridge, and Lacey grinned.
“Okay, let’s feed you first, or I’ll never hear the end of it.”
She gave him a pouch of food, and although he sniffed at it cautiously, he settled down to eat. She wasn’t sure where his recent lack of appetite had come from, but he was in good condition, so if he wasn’t eating what she put down, he was clearly eating somewhere else. A knock at the door made her glance around, and she headed for the hallway, pausing as she recognised the silhouette of her neighbour, cane held a little out to the side. Lacey took a deep breath, fists opening and closing, and nodded to herself. Well, he’s here. You may as well apologise. Suck it up, girl.
She strode towards the door before she could think about it too much, wrenching it open and nodding at Mr Gold. He was carrying a cardboard box in one arm, his gaze steady.
“Hey,” she said abruptly, and Gold showed his teeth.
“Miss French," he said. "I apologise for disturbing your evening.”
The words weren’t said in the stiff, terse way she was used to. Instead they seemed to flow, dark and soft, like black silk. Idly, she wondered if he wore underwear that matched his silk shirts.
“Yeah, you interrupted a heavy evening of heating up frozen pizza and drinking wine,” she said. “What can I do for you?”
He glanced down at the box, then back up. There was a gleam in his eyes she hadn’t seen before, and she wasn’t sure if it was amusement. The corner of his mouth pulled up in a smirk.
“I appear to have something of yours,” he said. “I was expecting a delivery, and so I opened it without checking the address label. My apologies.”
Lacey shrugged.
“Sure. No problem. Happens to all of us, I guess…”
Her voice trailed off, a heavy weight sinking into the pit of her stomach as she recalled what she had been expecting to arrive that week. A shipment of sex toys for a freelance review piece she was doing. A blush rose in her cheeks, and Gold’s smile grew.
“I’ll leave these with you, then,” he said, handing her the box. “Do enjoy your evening, won’t you?”
He bowed his head, heading down the porch steps and swaggering back to the house. She was desperately trying to think of something clever to say, but her brain had gone blank.
"Well, I will now!" she shouted, and he glanced over his shoulder, grinning widely. The bastard.
Lacey slammed the front door, leaned back against the wall with the box in her hands, and waited for the ground to open up and swallow her whole.
She still hadn’t apologised.
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@rowofstars prompted: “F&F remix - Gold asks Belle to grab a late dinner and in the course of conversation ends up saying something that lets her know he read her latest smutty fanfic. Dealer's choice where that leads.”
This is a remix of Friendships and Fandoms, in which Belle and Gold never made the first move towards dating and went their separate ways after Star Force wrapped, only to be reunited on set a few years later. The first part can be read here.
Rated: T
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“Just us here in the make-up room after everyone else has gone home.” Rum gave a snort of laughter. “Feels just like old times.”
Belle smiled at him in the mirror as she carefully removed the prosthetics from the side of his face that were giving the impression of a horrifically lifelike wound. Thankfully they would not have to do such an intense make-up job the next day; Rum’s character was a magician and the gash would be healed by magic and the expertise of the special effects department in post-production, leaving him with an unblemished face for the rest of the shoot.
“Yeah, it’s been a while since it was just the two of us like this.” Belle tried to suppress a sigh at her nostalgia for the years they had spent working together on Star Force and her lament that they never took things any further whilst they had the chance. And they still weren’t taking things any further now that they had a second chance. It was as if the universe wanted them to at least try to be together, and they kept self-sabotaging.
“I was thinking, do you maybe want to get something to eat tonight?” Rum asked. His voice was completely nonchalant and matter of fact, but when she glanced up and looked at his now-clean face in the mirror, she could see a telltale nervousness in his dark brown eyes. “There’s that Thai place that’s opened up since I was last here, I’d like to check it out. Unless you’ve already been and you know it’s rubbish, of course.”
“No, no, it’s good,” Belle said hastily. “I mean, yes, I’d love to go out with you.” She cringed. “I mean, I’d love to get dinner. With you. You know what I mean.”
Rum nodded. “Yeah, I know what you mean. Just let me get changed and we’ll go?”
“Sure!”
Rum left the make-up room in the direction of his trailer, and Belle sank down into the chair that he had just vacated with a low groan of embarrassment. Way to tell him you’re desperate there, Belle…
It wasn’t a date, she told herself crossly. He’d invited her out to eat because it was late and he was hungry and it was the polite thing to do. They were friends, friends did this kind of thing all the time. That she had a huge crush on him that had not dampened after three years apart, three years kept up solely with communication through Tumblr even if he didn’t realise that she’d worked out who he was behind his Internet handle, well, that was completely beside the point. She rested her head on the counter. These past few days whilst Rum had been filming his guest part in After Ever After had been so lovely; they had fallen back into their easy camaraderie as if Rum had never been away from Storybrooke studios, and they had been keeping the rest of the cast and crew highly entertained with reminiscences of their time together on Star Force.
“Are you ok?” Rum’s voice came around the door and Belle jumped up, grabbing her purse and racing out of the make-up room, fumbling with her keys to lock up.
“Yes, yes, I’m absolutely fine.” She beamed at him. “Ready for our date?”
Way to go, Belle…
“I’m very much looking forward to our date, actually,” Rum said. “And…” he paused, and if Belle wasn’t very much mistaken, she thought that he might be showing the hint of a shy blush. “And I’m very glad you think of it as a date.”
Belle bit her lip. Was this it? Was this the moment she’d been waiting for? That they’d both been waiting for, if Rum’s current state of mind seemed to be anything to go by? From some of his comments on her works and posts on Tumblr, she’d thought that her feelings were returned, but now this was real life, not the safe pseudo-anonymity of blogging sites, and these were things that really had to be confronted.
She held out a hand which Rum took, and the two of them made their way out of the studio together. Passing the security office, Leroy took one look at them, raised an eyebrow, and nodded approvingly.
“It took you long enough,” he remarked, and Belle had to giggle as they continued on down the road towards the new Thai place.
“I figured that it was time to bite the bullet,” Rum said. “If I didn’t ask now, then I might never have another chance.”
They entered the restaurant and were seated; it was a Tuesday night and relatively quiet in the place, and they took a table in the corner, nice and secluded.
Belle nodded, unable to stop the smile spreading over her face. The future was still up in the air, and she didn’t know what it might bring, but it didn’t matter. For the moment, they were together, they were on a date, and one of her favourite tropes of friends-to-lovers might possibly be coming true. She shook the thought away; she couldn’t afford to start getting ahead of herself. They were still on their first date and they hadn’t even kissed yet. Could she hope? Rum had held her hand for pretty much the entire walk to the restaurant and was still playing with her fingers now. The words flowed easily back and forth between them, and Belle could not stop grinning, and just enjoying the moment. The food was good and the wine was flowing, and even though they were both filming the next day, there was no sign of either of them wanting the evening to end.
“How’s Mulan?” Rum asked presently.
“She’s fine. We’ve been working on a new fanfic together; the Lacey/Stiltskin fandom is still going strong, you know.” She knew that he knew, because she knew that he’d been following her Tumblr ever since she’d first introduced him to the site. “This one charts their relationship after the end credits rolled, seeing them welcome their new addition to the family and come to terms with everything that happened during the series.”
Rum nodded. “Decorating the nursery, going to counselling sessions, vetoing each other’s baby name suggestions, that kind of thing?”
Belle nodded. “Exactly that.”
“Sounds good.”
They started talking about fanfic for a bit, and everything was going perfectly until Rum suddenly went silent.
“Rum?”
His face had gone a furious red colour, and his fingers were fidgeting along the tablecloth.
“Rum?” Belle pressed. “Are you ok?”
“I, erm, I should probably go,” he muttered. “It’s a long day tomorrow, and… stuff.”
He opened his wallet and took out a few bills, more than enough to cover their meal and tip, and practically ran out of the restaurant. Completely perturbed and more than a little worried that she had done something irretrievable to ruin their friendship and fledgling more-than-friendship, Belle grabbed her purse and hurried after him.
“Rum? Rum! What’s going on? Was it something I said?”
The one advantage to running after Rum was that he couldn’t run very fast, and she caught up to him easily on the road. His shoulders were sagging in a rather dejected manner, and Belle was completely perplexed as to what had caused this sudden u-turn in his demeanour.
“Rum? What’s up?”
He shook his head, giving her a weak smile. “It wasn’t anything you said,” he admitted finally. “It was something I said.”
“What did you say?” Belle asked, completely confused.
“Stiltskin and Lacey. Special Examination.”
He looked at her pointedly, and Belle felt her own face flame. Special Examination was her latest smutty fanfic offering, a particularly kinky one in which Lacey and Stiltskin acted out all kinds of depraved doctor-patient fantasies.
Rum had read it.
Belle had never particularly given any thought to Rum reading her fic. She knew that he must have read some of it because his online alter-ego had commented on the works, but the idea of him reading her smut fics was…
Well actually, it was pretty damn hot, and Belle felt a pull in the pit of her stomach.
“Oh,” she said. “You read it?”
Rum nodded sheepishly.
“Did you… did you enjoy it?” she asked tentatively.
Rum gave another slow nod.
“Very much so.”
“I’m very glad.”
He looked at her with what could only be described as astonishment.
“Belle, I read your smutty fanfic,” he pointed out.
“So? I wrote my smutty fanfic and put it on the Internet to be read,” Belle said. “If anyone should be embarrassed here, it’s me. I wrote an incredibly kinky story about you. And you read it. That’s normally every fanfic writer’s worst fear, that the actors whose characters they write about will somehow find their fanworks.”
Rum raised an eyebrow at her. “You say ‘normally’...”
“Well, I kind of like the idea of you reading my fanfic,” Belle admitted. “And you did say that you’d liked it…”
“It blew my mind, Belle.”
“Well…” Oh god, she couldn’t believe she was going to suggest this, but at least, if it all went wrong, they only had a few weeks to live with it before Rum could escape back to the UK. “Maybe… Maybe we could turn fiction into fact sometime?”
There was a beat of silence; if real life had been a movie then it would have been that pause in the script just before the music begins to swell when the audience was on tenterhooks.
Then Rum pressed his lips against hers, and his hands were splaying over her back, and Belle’s hands were running through his newly-short hair, and the background music playing in her head was building to a crescendo.
“I think that’s a wonderful idea,” Rum breathed as they finally broke apart.
Belle could only grin, the avid writer in the back of her mind already plotting out the next chapter of their lives…
#rumbelle fic#rumbelle#rowofstars#Friendships and Fandoms#F&F Remix#Super Fluffy Smutty Sunday#SFSS 2017
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Hi-Jacking Australia Day: Photo Op Fail Shows That The Mayor Knows How Deep She Is In The Electoral Doo-Doos
Shameless in its hypocrisy, utterly stupid in its transparency Jenny Hill and her team claim honours they WERE NOT awarded, in a bumbled bit of cheap campaigning chicanery. For all that, The Pie owes Jenny Hill an apology or does he? Could it be that he err short-changed her when writing about the LGAQ last week? There seems to be some murky financial (albeit apparently legal) fancy financial footwork in the local governments published reports. The Pie has a beak around to see if he really must offer to Jenny what she was forced to offer Clive Palmer an abject apology. (Good luck with the $50 grand part of it, though.) An unfortunate choice by the Townsville Chamber of Commerce and a truly shameful one by the Bulletin.. Plus, Bentleys hilarious take that will make Katter go Katter-tonic and in addition to our usual visual visit to the week in Trumpistan, a wonderful pictorial insight into how time reverses our values. But first Bobs A Real Pain The Arse The Mad Katter was at again this week, describing homosexuality as a fashion trend, and making the ingenuous dopey statement that In my whole life up to 50, I had never seen or heard of a homosexual person. Well, you probably met heaps of them, Bob, but in that time period, the laws of the day made it advisable not to advertise the fact. And one wonders if he doth protest a tad much could the Member for Kennedy be on a late-life slide into iniquity? Theres been a hint when you host a barbie in a shirt that looks like it was bought at Peter Allen garage sale, casually slung over a Ripcurl T-shirt, youre poised at the top of the slippery slope we call life-style choices. Indeed, our visionary toonist Bentley can clearly see the next passing phase for our Bob. Of course, this is all in fun, we all know that Bob is a solid, upstanding member, a real hands-on bloke who has a strong grip on things despite all his giggling and gasping. Still In Bentley territory, our man reckons not everybody is unhappy with our current heat wave across the country. And he is right about The Pies reaction, but being a considerate chap, Bentley has omitted the brown stains in the water behind the old bird. Low Blow In a shameful tabloid attempt at sensationalism, the Townsville Bulletin has surpassed itself on this, our national day when we talk up that we live in The Land of the Fair Go. In one of the most denigrating efforts yet by this floundering fish of a paper, we were treated to this below-the-belt guilt by association dog whistling front page. And the sleazy effort just got worse and worse, especially when a reporter quizzed him with what can only be an accusatory question on any possible involvement with his aunts drug dealing, indicated by the use of the word denied. QUOTE: Mr Dametto denied having any prior knowledge of his aunts alleged involvement with drugs before her arrest and assured his constituents, he did not condone the use of dangerous drugs. I havent (been involved in drugs) nor any other member of my family to my knowledge, Mr Dametto said.(The alleged offending) has nothing to do with me, its something she has to sort out herself. UNQUOTE The fact that they asked the question no one had considered, with not a shred of even remote suggestion, is straight up political dog whistling the chorus of Ha! yeah, right from the LNP and Labor banjo-playing set is already plunking away. If Jenna Cairney and her band of work experience reporters think this is a good tactic to fill space, perhaps theyd like to door knock the parents and relatives of the juvenile little shits charged with stealing cars and property, and ask them if they had any prior knowledge or involvement the exploits of their little snots. One imagines such effrontery would meet with what some cops describe as summary justice and no argument there from this old bird. Truly base stuff, Ms Cairney. And Your Bizarre Story Placements Continue Apace Jeez-us, fair dinkum. When It Comes To Snide Stupidity, Jenna And Jenny Make A Pigeon Pair If ever proof was needed that our mayor is wetting herself about her plunging popularity and failure to fool ANY of the people ANY of the time, it came in the online Bulletin this weekend. Heres a little puzzle of current affairs test for you. Read the caption first, and then see a) how many Australia Day award winners you can spot, and b) see how many Team Hill councillors you can spot. And the Astonisher certainly has its political priorities right the caption lists Mayor Mullet and Premier Alphabet but failed to mention that dorky looking bloke in the center. Oh, him, hes not worth mentioning, just the Governor of Queensland and former Chief Justice Paul de Jersey. But then have a look along the line search as he could, The Pie was not able to see it reported anywhere that either Clr Ann-Maree Greaney, Clr Maurie Soares, Clr Colleen Boo Hoo Doyle, Clr Les Messagebank Walker, Mayor Mullet Jenny Hill, or Clr Kurt Rehbein had received any Australia Day honours. So WTF are THEY doing, holding some sort of prize, which if it is an Australia Day Award, is grossly dishonest to say the least a pathetic please re-elect me plea? They are making themselves out to be winners of some sort which is looking more and more unlikely next time around. But OK, why is the old bird surprised, this is about the level of honesty weve come to expect from these denizens of the Walker Street trough. Its such a thigh-slapping inept attempt at campaign virtue signalling it has just proved two things shes desperate and shes dumb. But or All that, Mayor Mullet May Get Back In A new study of Townsville voters has discovered why we have the political representation we have. Well, at least it explains it for us, but not much can be done, youd reckon. Now, Having Said That, Maybe The Magpie Owes Mrs Hill An Apology Last week and on a couple of previous occasions The Pie has snidely written that Mayor Mullet picks up $31K a year in fees plus expenses for attending 6 LGAQ meeting a year as one of the three ordinary directors of the Association. She will retain that position until June 2020. Well, shame-faced as he is to say it, it appears that The Magpie may be WRONG (clutch the pearls to throat, gals, splutter in your Scotch and Fanta, gents). And this error is a direct, albeit unintended, slur on our mayor, by wantonly questioning the worth of her invaluable visionary qualities and her legendary financial acumen, particularly in Indian industrial and aviation matters. Because it seems her spare-time gig at the LGAQ earns her nowhere near $31,000 p.a. It looks like its closer to $95,000 per annum! Which becomes even more interesting when you consider that the TCC pays about $250K a year membership, so it in essence means that her services to the LGAQ are in fact paid for by Townsville ratepayers as part of the citys membership fee. Indeed, it seems we stump up a total a very worth while total, mind you, who could argue of just under $300,000 a year for her incomparable leadership as she charts a clever path out of our current financial and employment morass. The Pie humbly apologises for underselling you so despicably, Mrs Hill, when you devote so much of your time so selflessly to the public good of Townsville. There will be sneering Doubting Thomases who question your championing of the Local Buy procurement arm of the LGAQ, which actually takes work OUT of this city. Those doubters say that the claimed efficiencies dont actually save the council anything, but pshaw! what would they know? They simply have no head for these sorts of figures and deals and they certainly dont understand the pressures of your obligation to an organisation that slips you almost a hundred grand a year to raise your voting arm when told. Oh, the irony, the irony. But, You Cry, Is This True? Well, it certainly seems so to better financial sleuths than The Magpie, but it all depends how you decipher the murky and ambiguous figures published by he LGAQ. Rubbery was a word bandied about frequently. And just to pique our interest, there is a little mystery item mentioned, but that later on. Lets go the LGAQ Annual Report, where on page 35 we find this as a starter. Now the remuneration seems pretty clear there sort of but it has the rubbery words ranged between. (And a brief digression they sure aint bound by pissant thoughts of CPI or inflation down at the LGAQ note the rise in fees from 2017 to 2018 a tasty 35% for the president and an eye-watering 100% for directors. And the 2017 figures dont add up anyway, which is rubbery/sloppy in itself, with no explanation offered. Makes one wonder. The question here is would someone like Jenny Hill from a place the size of Townsville (for round figures, let say 200,000) be willing to accept the same stipend as say Alf Lacey from Palm Island, which has what, about three to five thousand people? Methinks not in a month of Sundays, and PI membership would be a tiny fraction of Townsvilles.) Then we see this chart, which again seem clear. Or is it not? The disparity between the President and the directors $137,422 v $31,000 ($94,280 split three ways rounded out here) is not believable to one executive who deals in these areas. He thinks the real remuneration, especially for Jenny Hill, is actually about $94,000. But whether it totals that from these figures (where there would obviously have to be some accounting error), things get even more interesting if he scroll back to page 20, we find this And this Now these reports can be heavy going even for accountants at times, and impossible for the likes by The Magpie, but our experienced Magpie mate writes: The cost of directors fees and meeting fees for the year are $618,294 (page 20) this would kind of add up to me like 3 directors @ $95k plus the president @ $137k total of $422k leaving another $196k to be accounted for so I think the directors get 95K still and travel and accommodation listed separately as $734,441 (page 20) So all in all, maybe Jenny Hill is worth the money she gets as a director worth it to the LGAQ, anyway, when it presumably is she who calls the shots on the councils membership fees. All this is courtesy of the Townsville ratepayers. The loveliness continues. Oh, and that little mystery. Just this But to be sure, since the LGAQ runs an insurance arm, it will surely be covered for whatever alleged indiscretion did or did not take place either way, it gunna cost. A (un-doctored) Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words A somewhat antiquated clich borne out by an alert reader who reckons his shot in Flinders Street just about sums up Townsvilles quandary. And another reader pic is being repeated across the city at a growing rate. Sloppy unfinished work and weeds all around contractor or council, totally unacceptable, and could be a traffic hazard, especially in the wet. Of course, not all councils can get things right, even the mighty Randwick Council in Sydney which has its own wrestle with signage. Be interesting if a Great Dane owned by a dwarf takes a dump. Did The Townsville Chamber of Commerce Really Think About The Wisdom Of This? Putting an image of a hungry looking porker on the stationery of an outfit representing private business seems a bit risky. But it gets more pointed when it is advertising a Townsville information session for the LGAQs Local Buy mob. Of course, in very small print, the presence of porky is explained as recognition of the Chambers Chinese membership, it is the Year of the Pig. Well, come to think of it, it IS an election year Pot Calling Kettle Award Of The Week. This goes to US Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo, addressing an emergency meeting of the Organisation of American States last Wednesday on the unrest in Venezuela, and rescinding recognition of the elected leader. He said: The time for debate is done. The regime of former President Nicholas Maduro is illegitimate. His regime is morally bankrupt, economically incompetent and it is profoundly corrupt. It is undemocratic to the core. All absolutely correct except for two words, and many Americans know which two they are but guess you wouldnt know, Mikey, what a gerbil performance history awaits you, fella. We can shortly expect Trump to recognise Pauline Hanson as Australias legitimate leader, and for the forthcoming elections to be cancelled, since elections have little meaning in Washington. Apparently. But before Trump can make any such declaration how Australia can be governed, he will need the permission of the man behind him. And thats just the start for this week in Trumpistan. And Finally, For A Final Rueful Laugh Or Two. Time and technology play unexpected tricks on us, taking just a few short years to reverse human behaviour. .. Thats it for this week, but as usual, comments are running hot on all sorts of topics, so have your say, comments can be posted 24/7. And if youre in a kindly mood (or just drunk, doesnt matter) a donation to help the old bird keep floating above it all is always appreciated and put to good use. The how to donate button is below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/hi-jacking-australia-day-photo-op-fail-shows-that-the-mayor-knows-how-deep-she-is-in-the-electoral-doo-doos/
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