#(i mean not entirely negative but I appreciate people might not want to see this)

[darknight3904]

All Too Well

Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Summary: As Valentine's Day approaches you and Joel grow closer with the help of one motor-mouthed teen who is unable to keep a secret.

Warnings: Language. Vague reference to SA.

Word Count: 2.5k

Previous Part / Series Masterlist / Main Masterlist

February 2024

As it turns out, friendship with Joel isn't so bad. You do your patrol shifts together, brushing Turnip and Pepper out in the stables afterward. Some days, Ellie will be there, waiting at the stables for you and Joel.

Ellie and Joel's relationship makes your heart squeeze. The days with her in the stable almost feel like you're looking into a window that leads to the past. The curly brown hair and warm laughter of Sarah consume your mind as Ellie tells another bad joke.

You had mentioned Sarah one day, casually while Ellie had her focus pinned on Shimmer. Joel had clammed up, refusing to even meet your eyes at the mention of his daughter.

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry, about Sarah."

Cold air shot up your nose as Joel's eyes fixed on Turnip's mane.

"Tommy told me, years ago...I'm so sorry, Joel."

You watch how his hands squeeze the brush until his knuckles are white. A stuttered breath escapes his lips and he shakes his head.

"Don't want to talk about it."

You open your mouth to speak again, but Joel shoots you a glare that sends a shiver down your spine and you drop the topic entirely.

It'd been weeks since then. Valentine's Day was approaching and parts of Jackson were bursting with old decor that had been scavenged.

"So what's the point of this holiday, exactly?" Ellie asked you as she sat on top of your kitchen counter.

The fourteen-year-old seemed to be obsessed with being around you even when Joel wasn't. Twenty minutes ago, she'd shown up at your front door claiming that she was bored and Joel was napping.

"Uh, I guess to show appreciation for people you care about." You say, trying to think back to the Valentine's celebrations you'd witnessed years ago.

"Well, I appreciate you." Ellie says, "Does that mean I gotta bake you something?"

"No, it's more like...romantic stuff." You say, "It's really marketed to couples. Us single gals are out of luck."

You pour a mug of tea for yourself. You'd give Ellie some but last time she had spat it out and deemed it to be "warm piss."

"Well, you could always ask Joel, y'know." She says casually.

You nearly choke to death on your tea at the idea.

"Joel? Joel's got the romantic composition of well...a constipated elephant." You cough

Ellie laughs in agreement, "I just thought....you might have to make the first move with him. He spends a lot of time looking out the window, just staring at your house. Like it's gonna blow away with you in it one day."

You think about how Joel and Ellie live directly across the street from you. Was Joel seriously peeking through his curtains hoping to see you on days neither of you were on patrol?

"And how do you know so much about romance? You read tons of cheesy novels in your spare time?" You huff

"No! He just seems into you!" Ellie groans, "And I've only read a few romance books..."

The next day at the stables, Ellie asks Joel what his outlook on Valentine's Day is. Ever the gentle soul, Joel voices his opinion.

"Just a day for big-shot companies to make even more money."

Ellie glances over at you with big eyes, "You said it was about romance and appreciation of others."

"It is." You defend your opinion while looking at Joel and his stupid greying beard. Why was he like this?

Joel scoffs and looks over at the two of you, "Appreciation of someone else's wallet you mean."

"So negative, Joel." You huff, "I've never experienced a real Valentine's Day, sorry if my unrealistic views bothered you."

Joel watches as you finish brushing Pepper before stomping off in the direction of your house.

"Looks like you're in trouble," Ellie says from his left.

"Just saying my thoughts. Not my fault she's mad." Joel dismisses

"Well considering I told her you're into her, I bet that Valentine's wallet comment wasn't what she wanted to hear..."

Joel spins around to look at the brown-haired girl who has turned to baby talk Turnip and say that Joel smells worse than the stables themselves.

"You did what?"

Joel hasn't felt this embarrassed in years. Where did Ellie even get the nerve to just spill his secrets all over town?

Joel wasn't even sure how he felt about you and now he had a child trying to set him up with you. Ellie didn't know a damn thing about the past and here she was running her mouth. Honestly if Joel didn't care about her so much, he'd hang her upside down from Jackon's flag pole and leave her there for a few hours. Damn kids, always getting into shit they weren't supposed to.

"And Ellie told her? About your window watching?"

"It's not funny."

Joel's eyes snapped up to his younger brother, whose eyes were swimming with amusement.

"It is." Tommy shakes his head

"Not if she thinks I'm some...freak." Joel sighs as he looks down at Tommy who has made himself at home on Joel's couch.

"This is the same girl who used to cry when she got drunk and then openly tell you about how hot she thought that Wolverine guy was? Trust me, Joel she doesn't think you're a freak." Tommy dismisses Joel's fears.

Joel sighs, Tommy doesn't get it. You'd been unreachable in Joel's opinion. Sure, the small talk and patrol shifts were nice but it wasn't real. Anyone with half a brain could tell you were holding out on Joel.

"She was here in Jackson when you showed up, right?" Joel asked

"Yeah. I didn't even know she was here until Maria dragged her over to see me one day."

Joel nods, "She ever tell you how she got here? I mean it's a long way from Texas to Wyoming."

Rigid silence settles around the brothers as Tommy looks at Joel, the amusement from earlier gone.

"I don't know all of it...but I can tell you what I do."

There are few comforts left at the end of the world. Of course, you should never discount the fuzzy feeling of a new book and clean sheets can bring a person. Freshly showered, your hair pulled up by a towel, you've just settled in for the night when a loud knock at your door rings out through your empty home.

The knocks continue as you groan and plod down the steps. It had to nearly be 9:30, who could be bothering you at this hour? If you opened that door and Ellie was there, you were going to march her back across the street and tell Joel to put a leash on his kid. You liked her, but there was only so many puns you could take.

You swing the door open and your voice sounds more like a hiss as you speak, "What?"

To your surprise, it's not Ellie but Joel who stands there. The soft glow of your porch light makes him look a bit younger. His jacket is zipped up to his chin and his hands are stuffed in his pockets.

"Can I come in? We need to talk and I'm freezing my ass off out here."

You sigh loudly, "I was getting ready to go to bed."

"Won't take long, I promise." Joel's sincere tone says

Begrudgingly you step out of the way and let him in. He stomps his boots out on the welcome mat before entering, at least you won't have to clean up little water puddles when he leaves.

"What's up? If Ellie's asking about baking cookies again, tell her I still need to get more sugar and butter."

"It's not about cookies." Joel says, "Can we sit down?"

You take his appearance in, in better lightening, you can see how disheveled he looks. His hair is out of place like he's been running his fingers through it. His face is solemn, serious, and missing the soft edge it normally has whenever he goes on patrol with you.

"Fine." You sigh, pulling the towel from your hair.

You settle in the armchair that sits across the couch he's made himself welcome on. Your wet hair drips cold drops down your back and you squirm a bit, regretting your choice to let it down.

"You went back to my house?" Joel starts off, "After outbreak day?"

You look at him in shock, how could he possibly...Tommy. That fool couldn't keep a secret for shit.

"I did..." You say slowly, unsure of how much he knew

"Why?" Joel asks

"I dunno...I guess I thought you might come back. Plus, I didn't know where else to go. I uh, stayed in your basement for a couple of months. Thanks for finishing it, by the way, made my stay way easier."

Joel looks at you, his face unreadable, "Tommy said you ended up back in Pittsburgh, in the QZ til it fell in 2017."

"Yeah, I got back home to see if my parents had made it. After I saw my home had been burned down, I ended up in the QZ."

Joel nods, "I'm sorry for all the questions, I'm just...trying to figure out how the hell you ended up here."

You dismiss him with a wave of your hand, "I wish I knew, I'd credit it all to good luck though..."

"Tommy won't tell me how you got out west, said he didn't know." Joel prods

Your blood runs cold, it's true, Tommy doesn't know. You'd told the younger Miller brother that you'd traveled with a group before Maria found you. Technically you hadn't lied.

"I um...um..."

You hadn't told anyone about your time with Adam, the Walrus, or any of the men in that group. You tried not to think about it, blocking it out as if it had just been one bad dream.

Joel surprises you, leaning forward and taking your shaking hands in his. His skin is just as warm as you remember, a bit rougher than the last time you'd felt it twenty years ago.

"There were...these men. They found me somewhere in Illinois I think."

Your throat feels dryer than the fucking Sahara Desert right now. You want to push him away, throw him outside into the snow, and slam the door in his face. Yet you can't even bear to pull your hands from his, you focus on the way his thumb rubs circles on your palm.

"They took me further out west with them...used to make me..."

You squeeze your eyes shut, unable to look at him right now. Your tongue fumbles in your mouth, unable to tell him what happened to you. Warm tears fall past your eyelids and Joel's deep voice is soothing you,

"It's alright, sweetheart. Don't gotta say anymore."

You open your eyes again to look at him. Sadness lines his features as he looks at you. You sniffle, trying to keep your nose from running,

"I escaped one night after tricking one of them into loosening my restraints. A couple of weeks later Maria found me out by the dam starving and hallucinating. She brought me in and then helped make sure I didn't die."

Joel nods and squeezes your hands in his, "I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault." You whisper, a shaky breath leaving your lips

"I should've gone back for you. Took you with me to Boston. None of it would've happened." He says sternly

"It's too late to wish about what could've happened, Joel." You remind him

"I know that...I just, I wish things had happened differently." He sighs, "Never would've broken up with you if I'd known what you were gonna go through."

"No one knew the world was going to end." You point out

"You needa quit makin' excuses for me." Joel shoots you a glare that you can tell he doesn't mean, "Yell at me a bit, woman."

You rest your forehead against Joel's, not intending to do any of that.

"I don't yell at people I'm friends with. We can save the fight for another day."

The front door slams open and a gust of freezing cold air whirls in. Ellie stands in the doorframe, a thick purple coat sits on her body as she rushes in.

"Joel? What the fuck? You lock me out of the house and then go off to make out with your crush?"

You jump away from Joel, mourning the way your hands feel cold without him around them.

"Ellie, what are you doing here?" Joel sighs like just her presence exhausts him.

"I went to that movie night that Maria runs, remember?" Ellie says, closing the door and tossing her coat onto the hooks by the door, "We watched one of the Star Wars movies. I think Maria said it was episode 4, I don't really know what that means though."

"What'd you think?" You ask, hoping she doesn't mention you and Joel's earlier position. You're eager for Joel's attention to be off of you.

"It was fine. I liked that little droid Luke has."

"You mean R2D2?" You ask

"Yeah, his scream is funny."

"Always liked Obi-Wan." Joel muses, thinking of the movie.

"Which one is that again?" Ellie asks

"He's the old guy, Luke calls him Ben at the beginning, Joel probably likes him cuz' they're both old." You explain

"Hey." Joel nudges his foot to yours, apparently not liking your insult.

You listen to Ellie give you and Joel her full review of Star Wars. Joel smirks at you when Ellie mentions something about the possibility of Luke and Leia dating. Oh how shocked she's going to be.

"Let's get going, kiddo." Joel's voice is soft as he interrupts her when he sees your eyes droop shut.

Ellie huffs a sigh of frustration but goes to slip back into her coat. Joel reaches out and gently pats your knee, he wants to let you know he's letting himself out.

Unresponsive and clearly tuckered out, you're dead to the world as Joel says your name. He sighs and turns to Ellie, tossing her the keys.

"Get ready for bed. Brush your teeth." He says to the girl

"Yeah, yeah." She shrugs him off before walking off, shutting the door behind her

Joel sighs and pushes his arms underneath you. He can't let you sleep in this armchair, you'll wake up with an ache in your back.

He carefully goes up the steps, you in his arms bridal style as your head rests on his chest. A soft wheeze escapes your nose and Joel feels his mouth turn up into a small smile.

A warmth bubbles up in his chest as he lays you down in your bed. He pulls the soft covers up your body and picks up the book you'd left on the other side of the bed.

Joel runs a hand through your still-damp hair, taking in the hint of greys that weave through it. It's as soft as he remembers and smells like oranges.

He lets his heart take over as he leans down, ignoring the slight pinch in his back as he presses a gentle kiss to your forehead. He pulls away and looks at your sleeping form again. The soft light of the lamp on your nightstand gives you a youthful glow.

His hand slips down your face and he runs a thumb across your cheek. The feel of a faded scar there has a frown etching across his features and in the moment Joel decides to make a promise, a promise to himself as well as you. Here in the warm glow of this lamp and the secrecy of your bedroom, he promises he'll never let anything hurt you again.

Next Chapter

Shorter chapter but...

I PASSED ALL MY FINALS!!!

Somehow survived another semester. I'll be updating more frequently now :)

Comment to be added to the tag list. This tag list is not chapter by chapter, I carry the tags over to each part.

Tags:

@lunaticgurly  @orcasoul  @snowlycanroc  @freythecrazyfae

@person-005 @greenwitchfromthewoods

@elli3williams @iinaths

[nathaslosthershit]

Unremarkable (LN4)

(Part 2 of the Blind Items series)

Summary: Blind Items returns again to ruin yet another happy couple's peace. This time, Lando Norris and his ‘unremarkable’ girlfriend.

“Lando, have you seen this?” his girlfriend asked, showing him the tweets. When they had soft launched, she got a small dose of what it would be like to be the WAG of Lando Norris. But even when they hadn’t known anything about her, some people still had been so mean. Now that they knew she had a ‘commoner’ job, they had started tearing her to shreds. ‘How could someone so rich and famous go for such a plain girl’ was what so many people had said. 

“Oscar showed it to me today. I am so sorry, honey, I was hoping that you wouldn’t have seen it. Those people are absolute asses, love.” He probably should have said something earlier but he knew how hard she would take it. While she had joked in the past about the differences in their jobs, especially the pay, he knew she felt insecure about it at times. 

“The thing is, I didn’t see it. Not at first. I only saw it when I heard one of my students talking about it in class today. Can you even imagine how humiliating that was for me? Hearing my own students who I have done nothing but be kind and understanding to, trying to get them to love learning, talk about how awful it is their favorite driver is dating someone as boring as a teacher.” She couldn’t stop the tears as she went on about the situation. He wouldn’t understand, he couldn’t. She knew Lando had his moments of insecurity but nothing like this. At the end of the day, he still had hundreds upon thousands of fans who loved him immensely. 

Even if he couldn’t fully understand, it still broke his heart seeing how much it hurt her. Sure, he hadn’t ever thought he would date a school teacher either, but that was mostly due to his previous lack of appreciation for school. But being with her has changed that. His girlfriend could always make things interesting. She loved to spout history facts on vacation and it always made him so deliriously happy to see how giddy she was to learn new things. 

Seeing her now though, so visibly upset made him realize this wasn’t something that could slide easily. His PR team might not love it but he wasn’t going to just sit there and let her feel terrible about herself.

“I’ll fix this, I promise.” He said quickly as he left. He shouldn’t have left her alone and crying, but he was fuming and decided he needed that anger to let his message out. 

landonorris

Liked by oscarpiastri and 153,137 others

landonorris I don’t know who this gossip page thinks they are but the last thing I will tolerate is someone hiding behind a screen telling the entire world that my girlfriend, who I love more than life itself, is ‘dull’ and ‘unremarkable’ because of her job. This is a woman who is smarter than 99% of the people I have ever interacted with, someone who spends so much of their time trying, and succeeding, to get kids to love learning. Even as someone who didn’t appreciate school as much as they should have, I would never have once thought school teachers were any of the negative things you have said. Luckily, here I am, happy with my amazing girlfriend who deserves the entire world, and I know I will spend the rest of my life trying to give it to her. 

Comments have been disabled

A few minutes later she came into the room, tears still staining her cheeks.

“Thank you Lando” she said as he motioned for her to sit on his lap. 

“I can say more if you want? I definitely think I could have cursed them out mor-” He was cut off with a kiss. The sheer force of it caused them to bump heads a little, which then caused them to break apart giggling. “I’m serious about what I said. I don’t know what I did to get someone as wonderful as you but I am not going to let some assholes on the internet make you upset over something so incredible. You should be proud of what you do and I will forever work to remind you of how amazing you are.”

“I love you, Lando” was all she replied.

“I love you more”

“Please can we not play this game you know I love-”

“Nope, la-la-la-la I can’t hear you over the sound of me loving you soooo much” He said as he covered his ears.

Such a dork, she thought.

[bitchy-craft]

What They Find Attractive About You | Pick A Pile

Hello and welcome to this Pick A Pile! In here you'll find out what your person finds attractive about you. I hope you guys enjoy and find this useful. Do make sure to leave comments down below on your experience! I do want to remind you all that this is a General Pick A Pile which means this is for a lot of people: therefore keep what resonates and leave what doesn't.

Masterlist > Questions > Paid Readings

Pick A Pile!

Pile 1:

They find your eyes attractive because of the kindness that’s behind them, the mysteries that are behind them and that calculative look that is behind them. They love how you can share things or weigh certain options against one another to see which decision will have the best outcome. They love how you can be confident when voicing your opinion but are still able to be humble throughout.

They find the fact that you are a strong person attractive. And they love to see you grow in your confidence and knowledge; they love to see you successful and be independent. They adore you and find you such a powerful person. They find your persistency attractive; they love when you want to figure something out and understand something you chase that answer until you find it, you chase that explanation until you find it.

Pile 2:

They find your creativity attractive about you. They love how you are able to think of new and fun ideas and are really excited about them; they sometimes compare your excitement to being childish, but that’s what they like to see from time to time since you also have a serious side to you where you show your intellect and passion. Just you enjoying yourself and feeling happy they enjoy, they love to see you happy and love knowing that you feel confident enough to show these sides of your personality to them.

You might be a bit chaotic, and often times that may not come in handy, but they find it extremely charming to see you like that. Sometimes you may want to do things you deem not possible, but they are there to support your odd and creative ideas. And when you do have ideas you believe are possible, you’ll think them through a lot, they love your eye for detail and the mix between creativity and realistic thinking.

Pile 3:

They love how much you care about so many things, that you find the littlest of things amazing, that you appreciate every, little gift or thing that comes in your life. They love how much empathy you possess, although they do understand that it brings it’s negative effects from time to time.

You are punctual and know what you need to do to succeed or get to your goal. You have a certain precision you make happen with kindness, something they look up to. They love how you are humble and kind but are still able to give yourself a loud voice to get what you want and convince other people your opinion is a great one and does indeed matter. They also find it incredibly attractive to see how you can be passionate about something, yet still watch from the side-lines or walk away from it entirely when you realise it might not be something for you, or something you should mix yourself with. You can sense when your opinion is needed in a situation, and you can sense when it’s best to simply watch or leave it alone.

[transmascaraa]

bf!lyney headcannons!

your bf wanted to hug you while you slept, but you unconsciously said something which made him overthink for the rest of the night...

bf!lyney x gn!/m!reader

author's note: HEYYY I'M ALIVE. anyways thanks for so many likes/notes i really appreciate it. i didn't upload anything for the last 7 days or smthn cuz i had no motivation ☹️ BUT NOW I REALLY WANNA WRITE THIS. it's like reverse comfort

"did i do something wrong?..."

-you two regularly sleep in eachother's arms but tonight y'all were just twisting and turning throughout the entire night

-and that was the only reason that you two weren't making any physical contact

-also a reason you had an uneasy dream about some random people(your parents actually lmao) and you finally snapped at them in your dream

-lyney woke up at like 2am realizing he isn't holding you close to him

-he tried to hug you again but you flinched in your sleep and mumbled a "leave me alone" loud enough for him to understand what you said

-he put his hands back where they were and looked at you with a worried expression on his face

-you looked like you... perhaps... hated him?

-no, it can't be.

-you love him, right?

-right?

-he turned to his back just to look at the ceiling and overthink about those 3 words you said.

-not to mention, in your sleep.

-but he was an overthinker.

-what did he do wrong?

-did he upset you?

-do you hate him?

-he was so worried that he stayed awake for the rest of the night.

-looking at the ceiling, and occasionally looking out the window of the room that you guys shared.

-finally, around 8am(idk when other ppl wake up, i wake up at 7/8am) you woke up.

-stretching out as a faint smile rested on your lips.

-"good morning, lyney..." you smiled as you hugged him

-he was a little worried.

-"good morning, m-mon amour..." his voice sounded... almost scared.

-"what's wrong? did something happen? you look like you haven't slept..." you put your hand on his cheek, caressing it gently

-"h-huh? n-no, i-i'm totally fine! see?" he "smiled" as he kissed your cheek

-"no you're not. i thought we were being honest with eachother, lyn..."

-there it is.

-a "negative" reply.

-it wasn't a nightmare.

-he DID mess something up.

-"n-no! w-wait, i-i'm sorry... for whatever i did, i'm sorry... i'm so sorry, mon cœur, please, forgive me... i didn't mean to hurt you..." he buried his head in your chest, his voice sounding like it was holding back tears, clenching onto you tight as if you might just slip away.

-"what?" you said confused.

-"h-huh?..." he muttered.

-"you didn't do anything, why so apologetic all of a sudden? did you have a nightmare?"

-"n-no... i-i just... l-last night... i wanted to hug you b-but..." he started tearing up, but trying to hide it.

-"but what, lyn? don't hide your feelings from me... y'know i hate it..." you held his chin up and kissed his nose.

-"r-right... b-but then... y-you told me to l-leave you alone... i-i'm sorry..." he started crying and buried his head into your neck, holding you even closer.

-"oh... poor lyney... i was just having a nightmare, nothing to do with you... i'm fine now, you did nothing wrong, don't worry..."

-as he calmed down, he looked into your eyes sincerely.

-"you'll tell me if i upset you with anything i do, right?..." he asked, wiping his tears.

-"right, lyney. i wouldn't hide anything from you."

-"i wouldn't either."

~~~~~

finally writing again after a while

not too bad🥱

i love reverse comfort sm i swear ajcbsbshds

edit: WHY SO MANY LIKES OMG I LOVE YOU ALL SM GUYS THANK YOU ALL<333

[cosmicgendershifter]

I don't even know what you can say to the people who somehow missed that all of Ed's violence is a) anti-imperial, b) protective against direct repeated threats to himself and his loved ones, or c) self-destructive in the hopes someone will respond by killing him during his suicidal spiral. (That last example is fairly indirect and performative and comes from a place of severe nihilistic suffering.)

I don't know what you can say to the people who somehow missed that the violence is triggering and traumatic and exhausting for Ed, and that he is desperate for a chance to live differently but has also never known any other life. Stede gave him the one true glimpse he's had of something gentler! Ed didn't fully know how fucked up his life was before because that was normal to him. That's what growing up traumatized does to you.

I don't know what you can say to the people who somehow missed that the suicidal spiral is a result of Ed's circumstances: of Ed being threatened by Izzy after Izzy repeatedly found ways to force Ed back towards the violent life Ed wants so much to escape, of Ed losing his one glimpse at safety and happiness through Stede and now having to face the darkness knowing he nearly found something different, of Ed feeling like the only way he can survive in this world is by being an "unlovable" monster he hates--and then he's confronted by Izzy telling him he's still not getting it right. Of course Ed gives up then.

I don't know what you can say to the people who somehow missed the show's themes about how much harm is caused by toxic masculinity and by masking your true self and by cultures founded on trauma and self-hate and burnout. (You do see the burnout in Ed, yeah?)

I do get why some people might not understand the complexities of Ed's relationship with Izzy--how codependent and enmeshed their identities are--or the layers of symbolism that position Izzy in the story as a metaphor for traditional pirate culture and its harmful impact. (Which is particularly triggering for Ed on a daddy issues level because that's his original trauma.) If you understand those things, the unique nature of the physical harm Ed does to Izzy in this story makes even more sense.

Ed also frequently communicates through metaphor himself. Him cutting off Izzy's toes is not only a show trying to convince Izzy he's playing Blackbeard right and not only a response to Izzy repeatedly threatening Stede/continuing to threaten Ed, but also is meant to physically represent the harm that Izzy has done emotionally to Ed. Ed is communicating to Izzy the only way he knows how anymore: "See how it feels to be forced to lose parts of yourself? Stede was a part of me. My hopes of softness and joy were a part of me. You cut those off too."

There is so much evidence against the thought that Ed is some irredemable, monstrous lover of violence who will hurt Stede someday. Stede would have to repeatedly and directly threaten someone else Ed loves first (which Stede won't do), and even then, Ed would really have to fight with himself.

It's not his nature, y'all, and I'm so frustrated that some people keep insisting it is. I'm frustrated about what that says about people's ability to empathize and consider reasons for or contexts behind behaviors--particularly when the character in question is an openly queer and likely neurodivergent indigenous man. Is it so hard to have compassion and forgiveness for him? Please don't get stuck in that punitive, dehumanizing mindset.

Redemption is so important, which is why I appreciate that Izzy gets a growth arc once he stops centering his entire identity on the Blackbeard persona and clinging to toxic masculinity. (Seeing Stede's impact, how different things could be, vs. the harm caused by the traditional ways, changes Izzy too!) Izzy's time, as a side character and mentor figure and piracy metaphor, does end, but first he gets to live with more meaning and unlearn many of the negative behaviors. That's the goal, right? To move forward.

[witchiewitchie]

I would like to address an elephant in the room.

I've kind of reached my tipping point with the amount of slurs that people seem to feel completely comfortable using derogatorily in this fandom, so long as it's in the name of 'in-character' roleplaying.

I don't feel like calling anyone specific out, but these people will know who they are, and what's more, I'm sure that most people who are familiar with the plethora of It fandom tags that I've also used are unfortunately very familiar with these accounts.

Let me be clear: while personally, I do not have a strongly negative opinion of reclaiming slurs, there is a big difference between 'reclaiming', which overwhelmingly is seen as a process of taking back words and redefining them, and just straight up using a slur the exact same way a homophobic (or anything else) person would use them.

It is not okay to use the F slur, for example, as a derogatory term. This is a hard line that we must not cross, because no matter what, it is a term that has been used in the past and will continue to be used in the future as a way of discriminating against or otherwise insulting people.

Even if you want to defend yourself by saying that it is simply in-character roleplay, I would encourage you to take a step back and try to figure out why exactly perpetuating homophobia (which is what you're doing, for the record, if you use a slur derogatorily, no matter the context) is something that you must do, particularly in a public space, without any trigger warnings.

At the very least, trigger warnings are a must, particularly if you insist on using harmful words in public. I understand that in the current year most people are somewhat removed from such a thing as homophobic or otherwise LGBTphobic bullying and/or harassment -- which is a wonderful concept, to be sure! However, that does not mean that all of us are so lucky. Many people have trauma resulting from such kinds of bullying and/or harassment and would appreciate at least a tag that they can avoid, rather than having to walk on eggshells because of a lack of consideration by others.

I think this also holds true for any other slurs you might see people using, but I'm picking my battles where they need to be picked.

As a side note, I think that whether you as an individual feel comfortable reclaiming slurs or being around people who do so is entirely up to yourself, and no one can tell you what to feel or how to act about something that is so intensely personal.

Personally, I have participated in reclaiming slurs that have been used as insults for myself in the past, and to some extent do this even now, although much less often. However, I specifically do not use these slurs in public -- whether in real life or online -- because there is no guarantee that people who overhear or read your public message are not going to take it as A) you genuinely saying the slur as an insult or B) a go-ahead to use the slur as an insult.

I will again state though that it is ultimately your choice to reclaim or to not reclaim slurs, although I will reiterate that I believe that it is actively harmful to use these slurs derogatorily, and I do not think that it is a personal choice but instead a moral failing to use slurs derogatorily or to insult other people.

Sincerely, someone who was beaten up many, many times in school for being any number of slurs that people have now decided it is okay to use derogatorily even as part of those marginalised groups.

[markantonys]

I truly think WoT is a well written, well acted show but you never see praise for it like that from most of the fandom (unless I'm following the wrong people). You see people praising GoT and HoTD like it's the best thing ever when I'm bored most of the time. Never anything similar said for WoT. I hope it does make it big in following seasons and gets more appreciation cause I truly think the show is underrated

i haven't seen GOT or HOTD so i can't speak to any comparisons there, but i agree that WOT is underrated! it feels like most of the viewership is either casuals who aren't Online About It and hardcore book fans who spend all their energy discussing book vs. show topics - not always in a negative way, i'm also including in here the show-positive discussions about improvements on the books or speculation for future seasons, but even these discussions are so rooted in book vs. show land that not a lot of people stop to discuss the show in a vacuum. it's often about "how is it similar to and different from the books?" and rarely about appreciating the show as its own standalone work.

which i think could be a difference with GOT and HOTD, they probably have a larger number of hardcore show-only fans who are Online About It discussing show-only things in detail such as writing and acting, whereas in my personal experience, WOT online fandom spaces are VERY dominated by book fans and they aren't talking as much about show-only things, or when they do, it's just to mistake "i personally don't like this change from the books" for "this is objectively bad writing and everybody who has ever watched the show agrees that the writing of the entire show is bad" lmao WOT reader fandom spaces have a reeeeaaaally skewed sense of the quality of the show's writing because they can't let go of their "similar to the books=good writing, different from the books=bad writing" baggage and also because they struggle to understand that good writing For TV is often very different from good writing For Books.

there's definitely also at play the societal tendency to praise miseryporn and characters who are terrible people as the creme de la creme of writing and acting. WOT has trauma and misery, but doesn't revel in it in a gratuitous way, and it has very flawed and complex characters, but the protagonists are all ultimately good people. it's a hopeful and uplifting story at its core and a story that wholeheartedly embraces its fantastical elements and wants to bring a sense of fun and escapism to viewers alongside the deep emotional stuff, and those are rarely taken as seriously as gritty cynical stories. hence, WOT is not viewed as a ~serious~ show worthy of having its acting & writing praised in the same way that GOT and HOTD are.

but WOT does do pretty good viewership numbers despite being kinda under the radar in the cultural consciousness, i think. i could see it gaining more attention in upcoming seasons as we enter the territory of the books that most people agree is the best portion of the series, and if they are finally able to do a proper promo cycle for s3 and beyond. from what i've seen, prime shows are never anywhere close to the level of promo netflix shows do (which is TOO much in some cases, rip to the poor bridgerton cast having to do about five thousand hours of interviews for s3), but WOT s1 came out during the covid zoom interview era and s2 came out during the strikes, so it's not hard to imagine that those 2 promo cycles might've been unusually low even for prime's standards and s3 might have a bit more. we shall see!

but at the end of the day, it's also kinda nice keeping wotshow as a hidden gem because greater online fandom attention would also mean an increase in insufferable takes haha i often find that smaller fandoms are a much more pleasant atmosphere than bigger ones!

[cripplecharacters]

Heya, wanted to, first of all, thank you for your work here! It is very educational and deeply appreciated! Secondly I do have a bit of a question regarding the portrayal of a character with facial difference, specifically a visible and rather big scar on the face.

Character context: an adventurer/mercenary lady in a fantasy setting, comes from a culture that puts high value on perfection in all things, looks included, but stays separate from it for a decently lengthy time period as a part of a mercenary company

Scar context: is acquired (?) as a result of a dungeon delving expedition gone wrong early on in the heroine's career, is not a focal point of a stories with said character, but more of a part of a picture and a life journey

Would you say that any of the following would be asking for revisions to make them better and/or exclude something unintentionally offensive? Unless I would note otherwise, story bits would not be major focal points, just something revealed about the character during the Typical Fantasy Adventure Story.

Character initially struggles with having the scar due to the cultural influence, but thanks to the support of the friends from a mercenary company she is a part of (many of whom naturally have various scars of their own) comes to be more neutral toward it and later on adopts a more "this means something tried to kill me really hard, but I was stronger" attitude.

In the same stretch of time character goes from saving up money to hire a restorative magic specialist (to see if scarring can be fully healed or minimized) to discarding the idea and later on refusing an offer of this nature

While character does face some negative reactions to their scar - and especially they intention to don't "have anything done" about it - from some members of their culture, those events are relatively rare and not a major focus point. And the characters behind this are very unambiguously shown to be rude jerks.

Character meets other people of her culture who either do not share/come to drop the perfectionism view regarding to looks, or other people of her culture who have visible scars and other facial differences and therefore both support character and find support in her, if it makes sense?

Character's significant other from the same culture at some point in the relationship, inquires if she would be still looking for a restorative magic specialist, and if she would want help with either references or money, vaguely knowing that she was originally planning to save up for a visit. Receiving a confirmation that these services are no longer of interest to the character he does apologise for assuming before dropping the topic on a note of inquiring if there are any things that would make character more comfortable in their day to day life

If you would require any additional context and/or need to refer to me somehow, let it be Anon with Perfectionist Elves

Hello!

In short, I do like this. It's pretty obvious you thought about this a lot and I appreciate it. Not only does this help me with answering this, but it also just sounds promising in general.

I don't think you need to change anything if you don't want to, this is more in the vein of suggestions re:societal views you can consider;

You mention that the characters who support her do not share the perfectionist views, but I wonder if there would be a second group of people who do have FDs (or other visible disabilities) and still subscribe to that view. If someone grew up believing that physical perfection=good and suddenly stopped being physically perfect, there are two options;

First is the one you already have, reject the concept entirely; physical imperfection=still good.

Second would be to keep the concept and warp it to fit them: physical perfection=good, and I'm still good, meaning that whatever my "imperfection" might be it's still part of what "perfect" can be. You know how some old people who thought the same thing for the past 60 years and suddenly have something challenge that belief will just... make exceptions? I think that some people in that kind of society would do it too. Expanding the definition to fit their expanding worldview.

In real life context of facial differences, you could I guess see it as the difference between "I'm no longer as attractive as I was before, but I'm still a good person deserving respect" and "I'm a good person deserving respect, but I also think I'm still just as attractive as before". There's no wrong or good way to think about it, these are just views people have about themselves. Some people are fine with no longer being seen as conventionally attractive, others will fight tooth and nail to stay in that category, even if the category dislikes them by definition. Humans are weird.

For the significant other being from the same culture, you have a rare opportunity to give him genuine character development from another person's disability. If his partner does something that is pretty "against" what they were both told since they were children, his worldview will shift to some degree.

The main character's facial difference is something she has to "deal with" pretty urgently in this way; it's on her face and affects her public perception, she has to get an opinion on this societal view of "imperfections" fast, and it has to be a positive-to-neutral one if she doesn't want to be miserable with herself. He on the other hand, probably also has some "imperfection" that just isn't as obvious as hers; almost everyone does. Does he have something he maybe hid really deep down because he was afraid to show in fear of negative reaction? Some sort of failure - or "failure" - that maybe the realization of imperfections and "imperfections" not being the end of the world would allow him to process rather than repress. I imagine that if a close one clearly told him - "I don't want to change this, I'm okay with this" - then it could trigger a thought of "hey, maybe my 'this' could be okay too".

This is just my idea on how you can potentially expand on what you already have going on. I think it's an interesting setup, and honestly just sounds like you know what you're doing with it; good luck with writing your story!

mod Sasza

[putschki1969]

I read all that drama from that person on the blog, I'll just say as a joke "what did this guy smoke to say all that that didn't make sense to me, honestly" I'll ask you a question, do you think they'll invite Kajiura in the end? Do you think the girls will sing the songs from the next Madoka movie?Whatever happens, I will support you and always love you. It hurts to see how quiet you have been. I forgot to say hello to you. I'm sorry, I hope you are well, dear. Take care of yourself.

Hello there, anon! I'm fine, thank you. Still focusing on the good things. I refuse to give in to all the negativity around me. Everyone who dares to throw insults or accusations at the girls will instantly get blocked by me. There's zero tolerance for this sort of behaviour in my little corner of fandom. So far, this is how I've managed to stay sane.

Ah yes, the whole thing with this blog is pretty crazy. It's no wonder the author deleted everything again. Everyone, be sure to read my DETAILED ANALYSIS here. While some things were certainly rooted in fact, most of it was just speculation and gossip.

As for your questions (please be aware that I don't enjoy speculations so my answers won't be very elaborate):

[D]o you think they'll invite Kajiura in the end? It would be appropriate to invite her. She has been there for some of Kalafina's most important lives so I would want her to experience their reunion live as well. I don't know if it's possible though with the current hostilities between Space Craft and Yuki Kajiura. I am definitely not one of the people who think Yuki needs to have a key role in the production of the concert. The truth is, Yuki has rarely played a huge role in Kalafina's live productions, especially when their live shows became bigger. That's why it baffles me that so many fans seem to believe that this concert will be a total mockery/failure without Yuki's involvement. What I'm trying to say is that I personally don't need her as producer/director but I'd definitely want to see her in the audience or backstage.

Do you think the girls will sing the songs from the next Madoka movie? No idea. I know many fans are quite invested in this particular topic but I don't really care all that much. For the time-being I just want this reunion/tribute live to happen with as little drama as possible. Whether they decide to resume their activities as a group or they go back to their solo work, is entirely up to them. I would like it if they did a few Kalafina lives every once in a while, at a variety of venues, with different productions and arrangements. I certainly wouldn't mind if they started to release new music but I'm still not sure if it would be a good idea to go down that path without involving Yuki Kajiura. I'm afraid 90% of fans would not accept that. I am probably one of the few people who will be supporting Kalafina no matter what. I am pretty sure I would like new music from them even if it wasn't written by YK because my love for Kalafina as a group goes far beyond my appreciation for Yuki Kajiura's music. I just love the girls themselves, their vocals and their harmony. However, if they end up releasing new music written by someone else, it is unlikely to be used in the Madoka movie. I mean, YK is doing the soundtrack so having Kalafina sing a theme/insert song would be a little awkward if she wasn't in charge of the composition. It's possible of course but it would lead to a further deterioration of the situation. Maybe if they manage to clear up some of that tension, a collaboration is possible but right now, I don't see how it would work out. Also, there's a possibility that a song has already been recorded for the movie. Many fans are speculating that the studio picture from a few weeks ago featuring Kaori, rito, Yuriko and Keiko might have been a recording for a big project (based on the fact that everyone is super secretive about it). Guess we have no choice but to wait and see...

It hurts to see how quiet [they] have been. Yes! It's killing me. I really hope that in the upcoming FJS radio broadcast, Yuki will address the matter so people can finally calm down. By now, Yuki must know how much turmoil she has caused with her statement and her follow-up tweets are proof that she's eager to take the heat off. But there needs to be something more substantial and genuine than a couple of half-assed tweets. The way this radio broadcast has been announced out of the blue with only a day for fans to send in questions gives me hope that this is her way of damage control. Ideally, the girls will start posting again as soon as everything has calmed down again. For the concert to be a success, they need to be able to do some proper promo work. We need as many posts and videos as possible! For now, it's just the FC lotteries with the core fan base applying for tickets. Many of us don't need much convincing but there are certainly a lot of other fans who are currently not planning to attend the concert so they need to be won over somehow. Not that I would necessarily want those pseudo-fans to be there but unfortunately, someone needs to fill that 8k capacity venue...

[diminuel]

As Croc and Dragon get older — Dragon just finds he admires his Wani more and more. He feels like in all that time he’s certainly mellowed out (more of an internal change. He eventually and slowly learns to relax again. That he has unlearned a LOT of negative reactive behaviors and can trust his emotions and reactions to line up more with his own standards) but ~*Wani*~?

Questionable morals aside — his Wani has done ~*so*~ much all on his own, whilst also keeping a handle on their children. Cross Guild takes his breath away. Dragon is truly appreciative of all his generals and commanders and all the talent that keep the RA afloat. But Wani is different, a loner, so everything he does is that much more impressive to Dragon. And now he’s putting bounties on the heads of marines? And going after the one piece??? Oh be still heart be still!!!

I love your "questionable morals aside" comment X'D Crocodile is clearly the one of the two who's a "ends justify the means" kind of person who thinks that if you want to achieve things it's inevitable that people who don't deserve it will be harmed. It's just how it is. And you can't expect too much from a pirate anyway, so keep your moralizing to yourself, Dragon.

Dragon on the other hand has a moral code that is a bit harder to really understand, because he hates war, we've heard that, but he understands that it's necessary. But that doesn't mean he wants innocent people to be harmed, that's the last thing he wants. However. *holds up finger* However. His exception are the Celestial Dragons. And he knows that not only Celestial Dragons will be harmed by his desire to destroy them. There's an entire infrastructure built around this institution, there are people who don't deserve it that the Celestial Dragons will take their ire out on. And he has to accept that, he will accept that. There are sacrifices he's willing to make.

Sure, not on the scale Crocodile is (see Alabasta, though - as I argued - that wasn't all him, but he chose going along with this plan to protect his own interests.)

That said, I support Crocodile fanboy Dragon~ Dragon definitely would like Cross Guild's bounty system. Maybe he's a bit sore about Crocodile also placing a bounty on Garp's head but well... such is life.

But yes, Crocodile is impressive. He always gets back up (though it might have taken him a while to get over his bitterness and the change in plans due to the kids.) And maybe Dragon would have struggled a lot more to just stubbornly move forward with his plan to change the world, even if it took his entire life, if he didn't have Crocodile to back him up. And I'm not just talking moral support, but also very practical help. The Freedom Fighters had no money, but then the RA could actually become an army with real firepower? Hm hm hm, I wonder where that money and those weapons might have come from. And of course I also think that Crocodile might be the one to swoop in and do some dirty work that needs to be done. Revolution isn't moving swiftly enough by just motivating the people? Here's the king's head on a platter. What? He's a pirate. The WG will have to clean up after him but they will, because he's giving them a generous cut of the riches he procured for them. Dragon and his army can then figure out the rest. *lol*

Sorry, I rambled.

[luthinks]

Lack of nuanced conversation around Rafayel

(Bit of a rant, which i posted on reddit, but wanted to share here as well 🙈)

This is just sort of a rant incoming, might contain some spoilers for Rafayel's myths, anecdotes and main story appearance, so please proceed at your discretion ...

Recently I feel like the conversation around Rafayel has gone from him being "bratty" to him being a "murderer" ... The thing that pesters me is, it's always one or the other with these discussions ...

This is just my opinion but I don't think that either of those "personas" are fake. I don't think he's being silly to hide that he has murdered people in the past or that he has some other sinister plans for the future. As I see it, when he is genuinely happy, the silly part of his personality comes out ... The whimsical way he approaches life, he isn't faking that either. Those emotions are also genuine, his dedication towards art all of those are a part of his personality ... Him acting cute and clingy for affection is also not a front because he actually yearns for MC's affection ...

And when it comes to how he has murdered people, I think a lot of nuance is omitted while mentioning that. He isn't going around killing people for the fun of it ... The underlying pain and the years of harm endured by lemurians at the hands of people he goes after aren't talked about enough ... Sure killing humans is messed up, but he has to, for protecting his people who he has failed multiple times who are still being attacked by the said humans ...

"He hates humans". Sure, he says so. But as we have seen, from his anecdotes, he genuinely appreciates his students while he was teaching. Gives inputs that would actually help them. From his cards, he repairs sculpture that means so much to a village. Is definitely cordial to most of the people he comes across... The only time he shows negative emotions towards regular humans is when he talks about their greed or taking for granted the things he finds fascinating ... At his core he's an inquisitive child, who is just fascinated with everything around him ...

Can you imagine a Rafayel, if he wasn't traumatised with everything he had to go through, how he would be, like a ray of sunshine going around experiencing the wonders of human world. Which he was so eager to explore as a child, raising his hand over ocean surface half scared, going around collecting human trinkets ...

Thing is Rafayel is a very layered character. It isn't one or the other with him, all his character traits co-exist. Bitter lemurian who is cynical about how humans are "bad", whimsical lemurians who gets excited by experiencing rain. Is scared or cats, calls them monsters ... Gets attached to one, takes care of it and calls her heartless when she forgets him after getting adopted ... Full of contradictions, this guy, but that's the beauty of him ... And getting to know him ...

And also it is very understated how difficult of a choice he has to make every single time when he choses to save MC's life over lemurians ... I guess the gravity of it can be explained by placing yourself at his position where you have to kill your lover or your entire family, everyone you have known since you were born, dies. I don't know how one recovers from that... And he had to make that decision multiple times ... How hard must it be for him to face the lemurians who are alive but being hunted for their life ... Or how after everything, the one who he mad the sacrifice for, doesn't even remember him ... He knows it's not her fault, but still how can you not hold a grudge after that ... It's all just contradictions with this guy

Well, that's about it. I was just a bit (maybe a lot 😅) bothered about the lack of context when it comes to these discussions. I have seen his lore being dismissed as something "not as painful" as the others and that's simply not just true ... Yeah he gets to be with MC (dubiously unfinished myth says) but at what cost!

Okay I'm done now 🙈

P.S. Cute Rafayel and Serious "Serial Killer" Rafayel both co-exist, neither is more real than the other.

[vacate-et-scire]

hello hello, this is for your matchup event! (a romantic matchup please) 💗

appearance: 4’11 girl w/ shoulder length black curly hair, light brown skin, & brown almost black eyes

personality: pretty reserved and not very good with new people at first, but if you’re a close friend, im unfortunately the affectionate, sassy yapper w/ no filter. i love to help people and make them laugh and i dont play about my people. i wear my heart on my sleeve and i love very loudly.

with the negative aspects though, i tend to get in my head sometimes, so i need reassurance sometimes. when im upset i tend to shut people out because i need alone time instead of communicating, at least at first. im self critical about myself and my looks at times + tend to assume the worst about people + don’t really trust others

hobbies: i adore fashion, singing, dancing, spending time with friends, shopping & engaging in any media i like. i love love love anything pink, snoopy, true crime, and i like having conversations based on people’s opinions on things. as much as i love the coquette aesthetic, my style changes everyday, depending on how im feeling.

love languages: id say giving would be all of them but mostly physical touch, gift giving, & words of affirmation. for receiving, the most important ones to me are words of affirmation and physical touch as well.

what i look for in a partner: absolutely no form of nonchalance 😭 i need someone who knows what they want, loyal, devoted and actually puts in effort with me. they genuinely like & love who i am and wants to do things for me just because they want to see me happy. + a communicator, gentleman, and someone who loves just as loudly as i do, maybe even more. (And even if it’s not the same volume or they’re not outgoing, they show it in other ways that’s clear to me they love me and gives me reassurance if needed)

tysm!! x 🩷

Your Blue Lock Matchup: Shidou Ryusei

Shidou might come off as chaotic to others, but with you, he’d be a fiercely loyal and passionate partner who matches your energy when it comes to love. He adores someone who wears their heart on their sleeve, and your loud, affectionate nature would resonate deeply with his own bold approach to life. Shidou is someone who’s never shy about expressing himself, and he’d love you just as loudly as you love him—or even louder.

Your reserved nature around new people would interest him, and he’d find it endearing how you blossom into a sassy, affectionate chatterbox with those you’re close to. Shidou would tease you endlessly (always with love) when you sass him, but he’d secretly love it because it shows how comfortable you are with him. And when you’re down or in your head, he wouldn’t let you sit in silence for long—he’d reassure you with over-the-top compliments and playful antics, to remind you how special you are to him even if it doesn't translate well.

Shidou also has a surprisingly perceptive side. He’d notice when you need space, even if you don’t say it outright, and he’d give you the time you need while still letting you know he’s there for you. His brash exterior hides a thoughtful core, and he’d never let you doubt how much you mean to him.

When it comes to your shared interests, Shidou would absolutely adore your ever-changing fashion sense. He’d hype up every outfit, whether you’re rocking coquette vibes or something entirely different. He’d also love spoiling you with little gifts—imagine him picking up Snoopy-themed trinkets or something pink just because he thought of you. Plus, he’d be your biggest cheerleader when you sing, dance, or share your passions, always hyping you up without a second thought.

In terms of love languages, Shidou is the kind of partner who thrives on physical touch and words of affirmation, so he’d give you the constant reassurance you need. Whether it’s a quick kiss, a playful hug, or telling you how amazing you are, he’d make sure you always feel loved and cherished. And he’d appreciate your thoughtful gifts and touch in return—it’d only make him love you more.

Shidou might not seem like the classic gentleman at first glance, but he’d go above and beyond to prove his devotion, even if it's not in a common way. His love would be bold, clear, and unmistakable—just like you deserve. If you ever found yourself questioning your looks or style, Shidou wouldn’t hesitate to remind you (loudly) just how stunning and unique you are.

[coldsaturn]

Bookrecs 2024

Ok I received an ask requesting bookrecs, and I realized I haven't added anything in years to this blog. Truly tragic.

The thing is, the past few years have been hellish enough that my reading habits changed from "hunger for literature" to "desperate coping before sleeping". So we're talking about a lot of Jikook fics and gorgeous videogames (which I tend to equate to books and movies etc. in terms of ability to deliver a compelling narrative), but not that many books, let alone the indie ones I used to hunt for fun.

But. That doesn't mean I am empty-handed, so here a few titles that still hadn't turned up in my tag. I'll add a TW next to the titles that IMO contain sensitive topics (I don't differentiate between positive/neutral/negative depiction), so mind where you walk.

Contemporary

Circe

I am a sucker for Greek mythology always and forever, so this didn't have to try that hard to be a win, but I was still left pleasantly surprised. It wasn't earth-shattering or anything, but I really appreciated the character-driven slow pace of it, the way we follow a woman finding herself and then discovering others through herself. One doesn't need to know about the mythological events we encounter to still follow along with the journey, but if you catch all the references, the POV is a nice twist. The end-game pairing is also the sweetest <3 Just good vibes all around.

All the Ugly and Wonderful Things TW

Intro: Back when the anti-shipping wave truly hit social media and equating fiction with reality became the norm, I started making a list out of spite. Every time some random fan on tumblr.com screamed against another fan because their fanfiction or ship would bring the end of our society, I added one more title to the list. It's published books they wouldn't be able to fathom they exist, so utterly convinced they are that the only way to deal with problematic fiction is by writing on ao3 and then being cancelled for it.

All the ugly and wonderful things is an incredible journey. I deeply respect books that challenge the reader into stepping out of their comfort zone, and this one demands to see the greys, asks you to sit with your discomfort and shut the hell up if you want to keep on reading. Many didn't. It's one of those stories where people give 1 star and DNF not because of how it's written, but because of what is written. If you stick to the end, you're rewarded with a story of humans being humans, in all their ugly and wonderful sides.

Flowers in the Attic (the entire Dollanganger series actually) TW

Another title on the list. This one is a Classic for older generations as it was a school read for many. Back when school reads were fun, apparently. You keep on reading, book after book, not exactly because of its writing style, but because it's a delightful trainwreck, and you just keep on sticking around to see where the characters end up after that absurd (and amazing) premise. If "this might as well happen" was a book.

The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle

This was just a genius idea. Full on "I hate I didn't think of this first" I don't have many books where the very opening line forces me to stop and stare at it for 20 minutes because of how brilliant it is writing-wise, and how successfully it immediately sets the tone for what you're about to read.

"I forget everything between footsteps."

I assure you in Italian it somehow manages to sound even better. They did a fantastic job with the translation. This was such a fun read I took two whole weeks to finish it, even though I really could have done it in 2-3 days. But I liked what I was reading so much that I deliberately slowed down, savoring every word. What a fun experience.

Only downside: I didn't like the ending, it wasn't where I would have gone with it. Still, incredible job, double thumb up.

Classics

The Age of Innocence

I wasn't really expecting this, but I was vibing so much. I was sending screenshots to friends screaming about how scandalous our pompous, self-important protagonist was acting in certain parts. Like fellas is it proper to touch the naked wrist of the woman you have a crush on, when you're all in theater and your fiancée is sitting a few feet away? Things like that. Absolutely delightful. If not for the ending where I was screaming because of course it's 1921, what was I expecting.

Les Liaisons dangereuses TW

Well I can't defend Age of Innocence at all because this was 1782 and it delivered so hard. Really this book had no business being this fun. I read it because of a book club here in my city I join every now and then, and I had sectioned the amount of pages I needed to read daily to arrive at the date of the meeting with a finished book. I ended up reading it in less than 2 days. I could not put it down. I strongly suggest finding a good translation because with classics (especially ones not in your mother tongue), translations will make or break the book for you. I looked around reviews and blogs before I selected the Italian translation that I knew would match my vibe, and oh my god. I was giggling and gasping and "no way!!!!"ing my way through the entire thing. Instant fav.

Jane Eyre

This one I had already read when I was a teenager, but decided to give it a fresh, more adult spin on it by rereading it after a careful dive. I rediscovered the pleasure of studying what gets a book to be created in the mind of the author and its place in the literary trends of its time, as much as getting to know its story. The more I grow, the more I find out that no, mum, it wasn't just a phase, I'm really a sucker for everything gothic.

The turn of the screw

Another classic that I had already read and studied in high school, but that I decided to rediscover through a more mature lens. I decided to follow the advice of the Hardcore Literature book club about reading it in the original installment order and pacing, and it absolutely paid off. This was already a story that I loved because hello - horror and goth and psychological damage and if you take a certain way to read the events you'd need to add a TW to the title, and it was really beautiful to discover how I could still make it new and dive deeper into it by simply changing how I approached the text as a reader.

Self-publish

Underland

Have you ever played Bloodborne and hoped you could find a book that gives you the same lovecraftian gothic vibes? Well, look no further!

I have a love/hate relationship with RR and the dudebro high-brow stories in it, but occasionally I find something that catches my attention and also manages to keep it. Great worldbuilding, and a very nice ability to portray it by the author. Of course, being a serialized story on RR, sometimes it drags and/or indulges a bit too much in the vibes rather than in the actual juicy part of the story where things happen. Bloodborne sits undefeated in story and lore and everything in between, but this was still a nice experiment by the author.

As writing paradigm, we are diametrically opposite fanfictions. Which makes it a very interesting read even just because of that.

[lotusishere]

I’m going to talk about Fitz Vacker in this post because I’m shocked I haven’t shared my feelings about him yet. So here we go. I don’t think it should be a shocker to literally anyone but I actually don’t like Fitz. But I don’t hate him for no reason and I don’t hate him for just his aggression. I just don’t like him as a person but I appreciate his character. He’s a middle child and a golden child at that. He’s was born to live up to highest expectations compared to his brother. Not to mention the legacy itself is tough to keep in good spotlight. I know having his title would make it hard for him to find real friends, as everyone would want to be friends with him because of his family name. He’s smart, attractive, snarky. But as he has good traits he has bad ones too. He’s occasionally aggressive and frustrated (and frustrating). But let’s talk about it.

Before Sophie he seemed to be living in bliss. His family’s name wasn’t in ruin. He was in the highest place he could be. He might have been struggling to find good connection and felt the pressure of trying to hold his families name; but it definitely wasn’t like the stress he has now. His brother is literally a terrorist. His great great (a couple greats) grandmother used to experiment on humans and cause trouble. Right now everyone is looking at their family and it’s messing up the Vacker Legacy. Something that he not only has pride in but something that he worships and holds in his heart. I feel like because he was raised (and kinda forced) to be in a big spot light all the time it made him feel like if he wasn’t he wasn’t good enough or failing his name. He was raised to be perfect. He was perfect but I feel like all that perfection caused cracks he didn’t see.

Fitz is a beautifully flawed character. He has passions, beliefs, BIG flaws but most importantly he has feelings. We see it throughout the entire book. He’s emotional and wears what he’s feeling on his sleeve. When he’s angry you’re gonna know. When he’s sad you’re gonna know. He was raised for his family name not tough situations that are in light now because Sophie is in the elf world. He wasn’t raised or prepared for the betrayal of his brother. He wasn’t ready for the breaking of his father. He wasn’t ready for the emotional drain of his mother not being able to let go and move on. He reacts because well because he’s a teenager. I feel like a lot of people forget that he’s also a kid. He might be older but it doesn’t mean he’s any less of a child. He’s hormonal, emotional and going through a lot of stressors in his life. I bet his life is entirely different from what he planned or imagined and he’s trying to hold everything he can to keep it from changing more but is failing. To go from Mr popular to everyone gossiping about his family in a negative way is a big change. I feel like the social pressures of having to be a Vacker gets to him a lot. He wants to rebuild the name they had. He wants to live up to his family title. He doesn’t want to wear it down more than what certain family members has done.

Can you imagine living your entire life based on being perfection for a perfect title only to have both taken away? I know his ass is going through an identity crisis. And it’s sad because I wish people gave him recognition that he’s more than a Vacker. He’s Fitz. He’s his own person. He’s not just Sophie cognate. He’s not just Sophie’s bf or Sophie’s ex. He’s not just Alvar’s little brother. He’s not just Biana’s older brother. He’s not just Keefe’s “best friend”. He’s not just a Vacker. He’s Fitzroy Avery Vacker. He is temperamental, caring, occasionally a good friend. He is selfish but he’s also compassionate. He may not understand things and might be ignorant to a lot but he tries with what he is given. Do I feel like he has acted inappropriately at times? Oh absolutely. Book 2, Exile, with how he treated Sophie. Calling her “broken” absolutely unacceptable. I’m also upset because I feel like they don’t really hold Fitz accountable to just how much what he says or does hurts people’s feelings. He has constantly hurt Sophie’s feelings by saying the wildest stuff to her. She legit began to be afraid to even share her emotions or things with Fitz because she was scared of him being angry at her.

Which is crazy. Especially because they were dating. I feel like because Fitz was drawn out to be Sophie’s love interest it took out what made Fitz in the book couple of books Fitz. Do I like how he treated other characters? No I did not. His relationship with Keefe is something I hold deeply to my heart. Because (not sure if anyone agrees but) Keefe and Fitz were never best friends. At least not real ones. They were best friends by situation. It is said AND shown multiple times that they actually don’t know anything about one another. Or at least it’s one sided. I feel like Fitz was so focused on himself that he couldn’t see Keefe struggling. Which is crazy cuz his ass is abused as hell and for him to know literally nothing to how his parents treat him or what he’s been through is crazy. What’s crazier is that the second Keefe joined Neverseen the switch up Fitz had was crazy. That’s your so called best friend. But at the same time his reaction was slightly justified because his brother betrayed him too. So he has a right to be on edge and to be upset.

It’s just heartbreaking because I feel like Fitz could have been so much more if he was flushed more as a character. I wished he interacted with characters (positively) more. For example I wished Keefe and Fitz were able to develop an actual and genuine friendship ON their OWN terms instead of being friends by situation. I wished i could have seen a mutual respect for Dex and Fitz. Especially after that moment they shared where Dex almost accidentally killed Fitz. I feel like he’s been so condensed to this angry teenager who is hormonal and jealous that it has replaced the good qualities he has. He has a right to be jealous because he’s never had anything of his own before. Sophie sees him for more than just his title. He’s never had anyone like him genuinely like that before. And I know he feels jealous because he wants to be like Keefe while Keefe wants to be like Fitz. But to make that majority of his character and flush him out and make him a douche bag? Do I believe match making papers are important to fitz. Yes I do.

Do I believe he would have made it a big deal causing emotionally turmoil on Sophie? No. Idk some people might disagree but I feel like he wouldn’t have done that. I feel like as much as he WOULD want her to it wouldn’t be pressure. Him getting angry and causing scenes like come on. He’s better than that and I know that. I know he wants to better his family image but book one Fitz would have never said or treated Sophie half of the way he did in the lastest 2 books. I believe the second he would have realized it wouldn’t have worked he would have talked to her and put up with an agreement to pull back. Or at least wait until everything is over to start a relationship. I see the good in Fitz. I do. I know he has it in his heart to be caring even if he doesn’t agree with people. I know he has his own judgements and beliefs and that’s fine. But I don’t think it’s in his character to shame everyone else’s ideas because of it. If it was he would have shamed Dex a LONG time ago but he didn’t. He keeps his opinions to himself (majority of the time). He gets a little quirky during the day sometimes.

But these are just some of my feelings about Fitz. There are more but this post is already long lmfao. Tell me how yall feel? Hate him? Love him? Neutral feelings? Again I don’t love him but I don’t hate him. He’s a good (kinda) neutral character. He’s just not the character for me.

[randomnameless]

I don't think Rhea's meant to be siblings with Seteth and the others. They don't seem as close to her or Sothis, and Rhea's the only one who calls her mother. Maybe Rhea is a 1st gen Nabatean while Seteth and his brothers are 2nd or 3rd generation? Descendants of Sothis, not her direct children.

It's all HC land!

Canon-wise, they're only "relatives" and we can't even rely on the titles or form of adress Nabateans use towards each other (save Flayn and Seteth!) because they either have to pretend to not be related to the various people existing in their verse, or, in Indech'n'Macuil being called Uncle, we have to remember that "Uncle" can be a generic term for a family/familial figure in a lot of cultures, and doesn't 100% mean that this person is your parent's brother.

I type brother/sister because I'm lazy lol and it's the hc I went with fueled by the "tired relative who has to look after a younger relative" Seteth has towards Rhea in both FEH and Nopes!

But you're right, Seteth doesn't use the same words to talk about Sothis than Rhea does and might not be her direct son, but maybe a grandson or something else entirely (great grandson?).

Granted, Rhea's close attachment to Sothis and her inability - that ultimately saves the world so was it that bad at the end? - to come to terms with her death is not supposed to be seen as something positive/healthy, and in the buddhist context of Fodlan (@fantasyinvader and others wrote a lot about it if you want to check!) it's something meant as negative, as opposed to Seteth and the other Nabateans who are more detached about it.

Word of God also mentionned that Rhea's attachment and obsession with Sothis was due to her being her mother, but also, the Creator, aka a divine being/entity for Nabateans themselves!

So is Rhea so gung-ho about Sothis because she's the baby of the family, because she's Sothis' last creation or because she's the one who survived Zanado and has severe depression/self worth issues and believes only the Goddess can fix everything that she lost ?

Is Seteth less obsessed with Sothis because he is older Rhea and not "the baby", or because they didn't have the direct "creator-created/mother-son" bond and is, as you suggest, more like a grandchild and not a direct son, or is it because he doesn't have the same emotional and mental burden Rhea has so he doesn't obsess over her?

Heck, we don't even know if - vibes aside - he is older than Rhea!

Ultimately I think we're supposed to see them as close-knit and "relatives" who appreciate each other, but also share the same secret as genocide survivors trying to not be killed in this world and they care about each other a lot.

If they're not "siblings" in the correct sense (not the same mom), I think that for all intents and purpose, they're supposed to be seen and thought of as "close relatives, as close as siblings".

[h0oty]

On anon bc I’m a pussy but. THANKYOUUUU for saying smthn- I honestly do not like hazbin and etc and am personally extremely put off by it and often times it’s fans but I am so much MORE uncomfortable with the vitriolic hatred and bashing ppl are willing to show when it comes to fans of it. Like guys it’s a cartoon this is just what happened with Steven universe again where I climbed into a dark dark hole bc people were being so awful to me abt it. Again I don’t even like any of Vivian whatever’s tv shows I just. God people are so horrible to other people good lordt.. I’ve watched people say such horrible things and it always always leads into a “and I bet they have a picrew pfp too” (or whatever) like girl what does that have to do with anything. That’s just cringe culture you’re doing cringe culture and I’m going to eat my shoe. Sorry for rambling in your askbox orz

YEAH this is exactly what i meant by that post.. it’s just the modern day version of shaming people for their interests because you don’t personally like it.

i rlly don’t understand why everyone agrees it’s horrible behavior until someone likes hazbin hotel?

take miraculous ladybug as an example. creator also sucks and there’s also some weird shit in that show. still has a cool concept and worldbuilding that people like. no one is telling miraculous fans to literally off themselves just for liking the show because that’s deranged behavior. why is it different just because it’s a show you don’t like 😭

i might just be sensitive to seeing this stuff because i’ve had a history of being bullied and harassed both online and irl but it honestly just makes me upset how mean the world has gotten all over again. we were doing better and then it just crashed.

point is you can hate a show or its creator without immediately hating everyone who likes it. if you don’t like a cartoon you don’t need to go out of your way to harass people who do like it the way a lot of hazbin haters do

block the tag, don’t interact with the media, be happy people can find joy and appreciation in things you can’t. stop being so freaking negative all the time internet

one last note; i think generalizing people is usually bad. this counts for fandoms. you can’t know someone’s entire morality and personality by one single interest, this logic is how we got “all furries are freaks who want to touch animals” mentality. you should judge a person by their actions not a stupid cartoon 😔