#(i mean it's just one afaik but that's still a lot of fucking money)

[stemmmm]

mistria thots now that im a little ways into summer

first of all, took fucking forever, but thats because i go to bed at the absolute last second nearly every single day. and on that note, i feel like every single day is a frantic rush to run around and do the dozens of different daily things there are that there's never enough time for. I dont mind not having enough time in the day to do everything. that's very reasonable. but there's a ton to do, and the map is very large and i have to run very quickly to cover it all, and if i want to fish at all or go into the mines, that's my whole day. and up till now there's always been 5 quests of varying importance going on at once. and it's all quite exhausting. i'm still playing, but frankly the pace of everything has made me quite tired of it. i have to slow down and i have slowed down, but it doesn't feel great because there's a dozen season exclusive collectables that i've missed out on and other main quests that i could be doing things to progress and- and- and-! i'm sure you get my point. it's not relaxing, at least not for me. yes, this game is meant to be played for multiple in-game years, but that doesn't quell the FOMO, especially since i have no idea how much more content this early access version still has. who knows if i see the other seasons before i run out of plot.

before the end of spring I already had 2 cows and 2 chickens and basically enough money that i won't need to farm again for a while before i imagine it'll run out, because you get a lot of cash and very little to spend it on that matters. there's a shitload of recipes and cosmetics but i'm here for gameplay, baby. i'm not touching that. the only thing worth spending money on in that sense is pre-smithed tools, but I can make them myself extremely easily. i also have no need to cook because foodstuff is given as rewards for tons of things and there's multiple spots in the world that return energy for free, and now i have 2 slots for a spell that restores my health, with a bunch of potions that restore the slots i found before i even had magic, and i still have free bath-house trips to restore health too, so even though i run out of stamina just about every day, i hardly ever feel it. the time remains the most challenging thing to deal with.

on a more positive note, the animals are really cute. kind of weird you don't have to milk the cows, but i do understand the decision because that process gets tedious and makes me not engage with cows either. im looking forward to when i get their hearts high enough that i can do the breeding mechanics, because that's pretty new to games like this afaik.

i also.... really hope the festivals that come in other seasons have more going on because the spring one was really, really bad. it's just nothing.

on characters, i still dont have super strong feelings for any of them because they are by and large, flat tropes that i don't really like. i haven't done much with them, so most are only just starting to get to single heart relationship level from just semi-regularly talking to them. paying attention to their schedules to get to know them hasnt really been a thing between the map telling me where they are and everyone usually always being inside the inn whenever i need to find them. haven't seen any events yet afaik, unless those are tied to the request board.

and speaking of the request board and events tied to it! it is nice and convenient that the special requests are the means by which you trigger events. like usually you have to walk up to whoevers quest it was to trigger the event, so events are opt-in, can be at any time, and triggered anywhere you find the person. it does lose any element of surprise though. i like wandering into an area and something triggers out of seemingly nowhere, but i understand that system has... a lot of inconvenient flaws that i myself have been burned by before. tough problem to solve. this method is fine enough.

so uhh!! that's all i can think of for now! fine game, not really set up in a way that works well for people like me who have to do every single thing immediately. fortunately, no one else has to play like this because they are my own neuroses and nothing built into the game itself. i recommend everyone else play this slowly if they play it at all, and itd probably be more fun.

[kazooie]

I need to vent, I'm sure I've vented about this a lot here already but it's just the one thing that fucks me up still.

Tldr; venting about inability to own a house, unfair financial situations regarding family, and being the black sheep just for being mentally and chronically ill.

So, when we were selling my Nan's house, it was because she couldn't live at the nursing home if she still had assets or something, right? Except, she died the day after we sold it, and the buyer backed out. Now, my family has known for decades that I wanted to live there the rest of my life, it was going to be me and my family's home, but.. they sold it anyway? For what? The reason to sell it was no longer valid.

So we sold it, for not a lot but not too little either, howeverrr instead of the inheritance going to mum and her sisters, it also went to my two oldest cousins, which means when their mum dies they'll get her chunk of the inheritance too, even though out of everyone in our family me and my mum are the ONLY ones who don't own a house and live in a shitty community housing flat that's making us sicker, and that fucks me up!

Whenever I bring it up, looking for advice or sympathy, one of my aunts thinks I'm guilting her for owning a house, like, no, I'm not. But I'll tell you what I WILL guilt you for eventually, if I have to cut ties..

So, when I was a kid, said aunt got a loan of $250k from my grandparents, for a deposit for their house. A while later, my mum and dad got a loan of $10k, I forget what for, a business thing maybe? Idk. Anyway, so, my dad, he's an honest man,he will always pay back money he owes, and he did, every last can't. You can see where this is going I'm sure.

My aunt never paid her back. None of it. And my grandparents didn't even ask for it afaik, because she's the youngest sibling, and definitely the favourite. My aunt got $250k with no questions asked while my dad worked his ASS off to pay off his loan, and he still got treated like shit afterwards! I loved Pa, but he could be a real cunt sometimes.

My dad, my family in general, has always been treated as the black sheep(s), we're all disabled in some way, so we can't keep jobs and are on pensions. My grandpa especially was needlessly cruel to my parents and sometimes myself too, I never understood why, but I have a theory it's because mum had a psychotic episode in her 20s, and because her oldest sister is schizophrenic he might have seen that as a failure on his part? Idk the man was incredibly autistic but used his white male privilege to say whatever shit he wanted, he could say the meanest things and his defence would be "I'm just telling the truth."

If my cousins were left out of the will we'd have enough for a deposit, and they'd still get their quarter from their mum later.

I'm bitter, I'm depressed, my living situation is getting worse and worse because I just have no room for anything, and it all could have been avoided so easily, but everyone was so damn eager to get their inheritance right away that they left us behind, they didn't even let us go through nan and pa's things after they died, they took everything they wanted and threw out the rest without asking us.

Thing is, I still love my family, and it kills me because I don't think they love me, or respect me. I'll always be a little autistic kid who doesn't know how the world works in their eyes.

I don't know how to be okay.

[dvonmc]

Personal support of stopping towing and story in a similar vein: booting. (For anyone unfamiliar, booting is when, instead of towing you, they put a giant metal lock on your wheel so you can't drive)

I was visiting a close buddy of mine about a year ago. They were still in college so they were in one of those "gated luxury sponsored apartments" which is corpo for "has a fence and is close to a college". They also don't allow you to park outside the gate unless you're there for <15mins or are in the leasing office. The place was relatively under capacity (roughly 80% of the spots filled) pretty much always, and that's *after* they started renting some of the parking spaces in the far back to a neighboring complex. On top of that, these weren't actually "luxury" by any stretch of the means. Most economy hotels are about the same quality, and I've stayed in a few shitty hotels that were almost the same quality. Major kudos to my friend for being able to spruce up their place as well as they did.

Anyhow. On my (second?) visit there, I parked right by the gate. Nearest apartment door is probably 100-150 feet away. I just wanted the shade cuz it was hot. They booted me for not being in a visitor parking spot. The visitor spots were about 30ft from the nearest doors, the lot didn't have signs, and didn't even have proper parking spot lines drawn on, let alone writing to denote them as visitor spots. The only difference was their lines were a faded blue instead of a faded yellow.

Now, back when I was a kid/teen, getting booted wasn't a big issue. If you had money, you paid for them to remove it, you went on with your life. If you didn't, you called ya boy and you'd make a fun trip to the junkyard to recycle some scrap (ifykyk). Nowadays though, they take your VIN and license plate number, and file a police report. Don't pay them to remove their shit, they take you to court. Can't pay them to remove their shit, car gets taken afaik. Some right proper bullshit.

So I call the number they left on my windshield (on a day when we were supposed to get a nasty storm, so who knows what the fuck I'd have to do if it had blown away). Fifteen minutes on hold. My friend's Lyft has already come and gone. They pick up, tell me they only have one tech and he's across town, it'll take him at least twenty minutes to arrive. He actually takes a little under an hour. He charges me 150$ and has the boot off in less than five minutes. He has to show me where the visitor spots are using a map he has, because neither of us can find them.

It's such a shitty fucking system and completely unnecessary I hate it

it should be illegal to tow a car as punishment and i’m not even kidding

[mwagneto]

.

[aprillikesthings]

Thinking about the abortion thing, and the "but what if your mom had aborted you," and thinking about how my mom's life almost certainly would have been improved if she'd waited longer to have kids.

My parents met in high school, and my mom was a year and a half older than my dad.

My dad turned 18 on November 1st, 1978. They got married November 6th. I was born two days after their first anniversary--which means my mom was 20, and my dad was 19 and eight days old. They were babies.

(I was three weeks late, to boot. "They don't even let you go that late anymore," my mom's told me. I was 8lb 6oz.)

I will point out: I was unplanned but not unwanted. My parents had already talked about how many kids they wanted (three). They were hoping to wait longer before getting started--but there was a weekend my dad was on shore leave from the US Navy, and as both of them have told me since, "We got snowed in! We ran out of our usual method* and had nothing much else to do! We did think, 'eh, it's fine, we're married,' so you weren't a total surprise."

My parents were poor as fuck, though some of it was softened by my dad being in the Navy--we would always have housing and healthcare, however shitty. But my mom to this day cannot stand eating packaged ramen because she ate SO MUCH of it when she was pregnant with me (which might explain why I like it so much, lol). She told me about once looking through the couch cushions to find spare change so she could walk a mile to 7-11 and buy a Snickers bar. They were never on food benefits--never even applied, afaik. My mom later told me that she does wish she'd known about WIC checks, at least. (I turned out to be lactose-intolerant, so when my mom went back to work I had to be put on soy formula, and that was a LOT of money in 1980.)

I've seen photos from their first anniversary, two days before my birth: my dad got her one single rose, in a pretty vase that (afaik) she still has. We both have small-ish frames, so she resembles a stick figure with a beach ball hidden under a dress.

When my mom went into labor with me, my dad was "donating" plasma. There were no cell phones yet. They only had the one car. She just had to wait for him to get home!

Not that there was any rush--she was in labor a long time before they decided on a c-section, and they fucked up on the epidural multiple times before deciding to just give my mom general anesthesia. My mom insisted, after my birth: no more military hospital births, fuck the cost. (Sure enough: both of my brothers were born in civilian hospitals.)

If you've known me a while, you've see me talk about this: my dad was, in many ways, a piece of shit. He was awful to my mom in so, so many big and small ways; some of which I didn't know until I was an adult. He was physically and emotionally abusive to all of us.

And I always wonder: if my mom hadn't become pregnant mere months after getting married, at the age of 19, would she have left my dad? My parents basically eloped and neither set of their parents were terribly pleased about it because they were so young. If I hadn't shown up, maybe my mom would've swallowed her pride and called her parents from Florida and asked if she could come home, please.

Either way they would've had more money in those early years, at least.

I just don't know. It's not the kind of thing I could ask her.

She's been moderately pro-life my entire life. (She's wavered on whether abortion should be illegal or not. She's in favor of good sex ed and access to birth control, but also said to me once that if I had an abortion to never, ever tell her.)

But I strongly suspect that if that weren't the case, and my parents had decided "no, we're not ready yet," and aborted me; that my mom's life might've been better. In any case, I wouldn't be here to think about it, so it wouldn't matter.

(*their usual method was spermicidal foam! I'm not even sure you can buy that anymore! I cannot imagine depending on that--I definitely would have thought condoms were a better option. But me and my brothers are supposedly each one time they skipped it! After my youngest brother my mom got a tubal ligation. She jokes that she said to the doctor, "While you're in there, let's make sure this is the last one.")

[bisexualhobi]

(Im not a company stan big hit can suck my ass)

1. Txt is not an aspect of bts? They are another group with a completely different identity. They are talented enough to match bts thats why armys love them and stan them. You are insulting them (and other groups) by saying that they are just another money making machine for bighit as a replacement for bangtan??

2. Idols hate bts lol everyone knows they do. They are from the biggest most prestigious companys yet they are huge flops compared to bts and that alone is enough for them to hate bts.. ik u are not asian but its a huge thing in asia, like if u work in a rich/huge company or are from a rich family u are so much superior to everyone else and then if someone without a strong background becomes more successful than them, the rich ones automatically hate them (if this sounds like the plot of a kdrama its because. Well. Kdramas are asian dramas and are based on real life)

3. Liking bts doesnt make one superior but liking continuously problematic groups does make one inferior and this is the main reason of twt fanwars because 90% of twt armys come from non western cultures and are deeply affected on so many levels by all the shit these groups and companys pull out every single month 👁👄👁 (dont say its just companys fault lol you know that nct member said lets not talk about this topic and its not just one example) ps: dont pull out the bts rapline were also problematic card bc they apologised for it and havent done it again

ok i’m gonna address point by point what you mentioned here. btw i’m assuming you’re different from the last anon i answered regarding “bts isn’t kpop” but if you are the same anon sorry for repeating stuff

1. i didn’t say txt is an “aspect” of bts. i mentioned them because what they are is the second bg big hit has created from scratch and the immediate successors of bts, a company that, until txt, had NOTHING but bts going for them. and even though txt is already becoming successful, the fact is that, just eyeballing it, bts brings in about 90 to 95% of big hit’s total revenue. big hit has a challenge regarding what they will do to cement themselves as a company beyond bts, and txt is the first step in that direction. when i say cash cow i mean a secondary source of income. my intention was not to disrespect txt at all, which i made clear in that textpost!! i don’t even stan txt and i’ve kept saying that they were far better than bts on the end of the year performances!!! i said, and i quote “txt ate them up because txt is a new group (that has a lot of passion and are hardworking ofc, this isn’t attacking them personally)” 

just a little caveat though, an idol group is always a money making machine for a company... like. it’s important to me that you know that. like, i hope you know that big hit isn’t looking to make groups saying “oh boy, i hope they flop! i hope they’re happy doing what they like and i will never care about the utilities :)” idol companies are literally some of the most money hungry industries because they often operate at a loss. don’t for a second think that bts and txt and any group is more than an asset for the company, whose sole purpose is to make money.

2. idols hate bts?? listen, in the entertainment industry there’s always gonna be drama and backstabbing, so i’m sure there’s animosity between many groups, i’m not naive enough to say that no one hates bts, the same way i’m sure there are plenty of idols who hate exo, who hate red velvet, who hate x or y. but the way you say this is such a delusional, paranoid way to put it. afaik, the last celeb/musician to trash talk bts publicly was befree or whatever tf his name was, that asshole rapper who mocked namjoon and yoongi and called them sellouts for joining an idol group. and that guy is a fucking failure! i think he even went to jail, didn’t he? so please, tell me who these other idols hating bts are, and where are the receipts so i can blacklist them. 

“huge flops” lmao good way to put all the other groups’ efforts down. stop thinking bts’ accomplishments are your own. they’re not. you have no idea the amount of effort each idol group, small or big, puts in just to be able to debut, so stop disrespecting THEM by calling them all flops. i know i’m not korean, i’m not asian, but i have korean friends and according to them all these groups who are supposedly “flops” are doing well in korea. just because they don’t have international success doesn’t mean they’re not commercially acclaimed in their own country. not everyone is out to get bts, i promise you. do you know who’s out to get bts? their akgaes. their sasaengs, and their antis, all those people online who send jimin death threats, who break into their property, who take pictures of their families. THOSE people hate bts and do more harm to them than an idol who says they didn’t like their new album or who said they don’t dance well. like please let go of the victim complex for one minute.

3. one part of stan culture i fucking despise with my whole being is fanwars using cultural appropriation and racism as “gotcha” cards. this is a clear example of this. first you say it’s inferior to like groups who have participated in ca. alright. i will give you that. the you turn and say bts hasn’t done that and that groups such an nct who have done it recently are to blame personally, it’s not just the company’s mismanagement. okay! so by your logic, being a bts stan is superior because even though they HAVE done problematic things, they apologized. it’s really transparent how you pick and choose what is an acceptable apology and what isn’t based on your personal feelings about the group in question.

i just need to know if you are black or if you are muslim or from a minority that has been hurt by cultural appropriation, if you are then you will know that when an idol group apologizes for doing such things, it is no one’s place but their own to decide whether to accept that apology or not. i am not black, or asian, i am a latin woman who can’t tell you whether it’s okay for bts to do the things they have done. you are contradicting yourself by saying other groups who’ve done cultural appropriation are worse, and then turn around and say to me “dont pull out the bts rapline were also problematic card bc they apologised for it and havent done it again” because guess what? not everyone has forgiven bts either! they have said the n word! they have done native american culture appropriation as recently as december 2020 and neither them nor big hit apologized for that! yoongi releasing the mixtape with that jim jones sample in it was NEVER addressed by him. it was a company statement. so who are you to say that the people still hurt by yoongi’s actions, whether intentional or not, can’t talk about it and be mad at them? IT DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY. 

i am not here to pass moral judgement, that’s why i don’t bring up ca in arguments. it is not my place to say whether what nct did with the muslim aesthetic should be forgiven, the same way it’s not my place to tell people who like nct that they are “worse” for liking them. people who reduce their stanning to how many “woke points” you get based on the artists you like clearly don’t care about activism in real life, they just care about it online for fanwars. to feel better about themselves for liking “unproblematic kings” and well i have news for you, NO CELEBRITY IS UNPROBLEMATIC. bts has learned from their mistakes, but they will continue to make mistakes every once in a while, case in point, the jim jones thing and the native american teepees appropriation. 

[strangecowplant]

UPDATE

sorry once again for the very late update, teddy has been requiring quite literally every second of my time right now but i can write when hes napping

teddy is home again, and he's really messed up on his meds. he's now also taking lorazepam on top of his antibiotics and gabapentin, coupled with another bout of sedation he's extremely high right now. i was not told taking these two would increase side effects like dizziness, drowsiness, confusion ect he's completely fucked up right now. they also didnt tell me the side effects of this new med, one being vocalization which is horrible to hear esp when you dont know why its happening, the only way to stop him meowing sometimes is to hold him like a baby and sing as i walk up and down the hall. i had to literally google all these side effects and interactions myself

he is drinking lots, eating lots but he has not peed yet again. im trying to stay so positive right now, maybe its because he's so fucked up on meds, maybe he just needs some time, i have no idea. hes trying, not straining, but nothings coming out yet, he did poop however so in theory he does have control over his muscles enough back there which should mean he can pee, and yet...

im so exhausted, but im also EXTREMELY pissed off now. i am done with this vet, i never even got a call today for reassurance until late, i had to call three times to ask about him and was only able to get small updates from the other staff bc the vet was in surgeries, understandable of course surgeries are top priority, but he or one of the staff could've at least called in the am like i was expecting. i didn't receive a call until 4:30 as i was walking out the door to go there

they removed the catheter before calling me, i said i would've liked to keep it in for as long as possible yesterday but it was in for less than 24 hours again (first time it was in for less than 12) and they didn't check if he could go on his own afterwards afaik. it seemed like they were just shrugging me off, i had to ask all the questions that really should've been explained by them first I had to be the one to even ask if this new medication could even be TAKEN with his other ones. i had to ask if he was given his meds this morning (he wasnt last night because 'he was still very groggy from the anaesthesia' which im sure is code for 'place is closed time to go home' i hope his pain medication stayed in his system enough to last overnight) something didnt feel right yesterday when i stood my ground to them, it really feels like the vet wants to wipe his hands clean and move on like he knew i wouldnt be giving them more money for surprise additions (which mind you, the new medication was a surprise and never spoken about. his first dose of it was at 9am, they had ample time to call me beforehand and explain he would be taking it)

when the vet finally called he also mentioned randomly that he has a minor heart murmur likely from birth, except i know for a fact he's never had one he's been checked over multiple times since birth and has always had a super clean bill of health. i asked if it could be caused by the blockage but he said its unrelated and then said he wanted to xray or ultrasound to check right then and it would be 850-900+$ with adding on a bunch of words as if to scare me. of course i dont want my boy to be ill but all this happening and knowing that im already struggling to pay just feels like a way to milk more money from me. of course a check would need to be done but i would've appreciated an 'in the future we will want to check this' and not 'he can collapse' when im already dealing with teddy being on deaths door. not to mention having him be sedated again i can't imagine being good at all for him. the way it was gone about feels wrong and i was a wreck until i talked to my mom about it and she reassured me. scouring studies i did in fact find its relatively common for murmurs to happen with acute urinary blockage in cats, so saying it was absolutely unrelated further adds to my mistrust. to add on even more, i also know for a fact ultrasounds for cats are nowhere NEAR 900 dollars

i don't know how teddy is going to hold up tonight, he's not all there from the drugs and hes not peeing. im so broken im numb, but im angry now. im going to do the absolute best i can for him, im calling around other vets tomorrow to see what can be done, im going to get second opinions and ask if what this vet did was as wrong as i think it is. i am preparing for the worst but working hard for the best and i am never going back to that place, they've taken thousands of dollars from us in the last two years with most of it from just this weekend and for what? just to be pushed aside?

please everyone keep teddy in your thoughts and hope he can somehow recover from this, hope he can make it through the night and finally pee, he can pee on whatever he wants i dont even care i just want him back to normal

please help me pay my kitties emergency vet bill!

ive never done this before but one of my cats just had to get an extremely sudden emergency procedure and i don't know what to do, my vet and i have reached out to a couple incredible programs here to help with the bill but one is less than half and the other hasn't replied back yet, i've already declined the blood work (CA$356) to lower the bill at the risk of possible underlying liver and kidney issues not being found but its still a monumental amount for us right now. i just feel so helpless

we had enough to pay the minimum deposit to get the procedure started in time thankfully, but we were already scraping by as it is and now we're in desperate need of funds to eat/pay rent/pay off any remainder of the bill. i am disabled without aid and have been unable to work/haven't worked since 2015 but am on track to hopefully start working pt this fall. i live with my mom who has 3-4 jobs including one seasonal job which needless to say is stressful and wearing her down. we unfortunately are stuck in the most expensive place to live in canada with the inability to save up to flee so the cycle is never ending.

this is Teddy, my typically very silly vocal happy boy who's not quite 2 yet, my comfort king, my little muffin who acts like a weighted blanket for me at night and eases my anxiety, his favourite toy is his pink unicorn poof, he loves car rides and he can shake paw!

he got a sudden urinary blockage last night with no straight answer as to why and progressively got worse as the night went on, i didnt sleep at all, i was panicking and bawling, naturally, and raced to the vet to get in as soon as the door opened. i assumed it was a uti which wouldn't have been as costly, but it turned out to be much more severe and life threatening. i never expected my usually extremely healthy boy to suddenly be at risk of that and im still trying to just process whats been happening

he needed to be sedated and given a catheter and some medication, the total bill came to CA$985.62, of which we were barely able to pay 500 of, and one program was able to donate 300 leaving a total of CA$185.62 for the bill. this, of course, leaves us scrambling for food and rent as well

i know there are a lot of fundraisers out there needing donations right now, and i really hate letting myself be so open and raw like this but even a dollar would help tremendously and i would be forever grateful for any help whatsoever, even a rb to signal boost is greatly appreciated <3

TLDR; my cat had a sudden life threatening issue and now we can't pay the full vet bill or pay for food/rent

Paypal

[throwing-roses-into-the-abyss]

Gremlin language cute!! I also wanted to ask u since u seem to know and dabble in a lot of languages what are some of the most interesting sayings you’ve learned and how weird would they sound in English?

oh the dutch ones are the WEIRDEST. to be fair, I’m not very good with sayings and expressions generally and even worse with remembering them on the spot, but from what I can tell, Dutch really has some of the more creative ones. We get very creative with language anyway, though not always in a good way lmao. (we use diseases as swearwords, for example. not really something to be proud of, but there it is.)

these are all ones that are very common afaik: 

“now the monkey comes out of the sleeve” (nu komt de aap uit de mouw): you use this when there’s like a revelation and the truth finally comes out, so in for example an argument, or when someone stops hiding who they really are (and not in a very good way). It’s roughly the same as “letting the cat out of the bag”

“to stand with your mouth full of teeth” (met de mond vol tanden staan): to be speechless

“if you burn your ass you have to sit on the blisters” (wie zijn billen brand moet op de blaren zitten): if you do something stupid you have to deal with the consequences (and without complaining)

"having an apple to peel with someone” (een appeltje met iemand te schillen hebben): having a score to settle with someone, a fight to finish

“you can go onto the roof” (je kan het dak op): basically telling someone they can fuck off. in a similar vein, my mom always says “oh go fly away” (ach ga toch vliegen). 

“choosing eggs for your money” (eieren voor je geld kiezen): realizing a situation is hopeless and accepting minor humiliation to prevent something worse (kind of like running away in shame with whatever meagre winnings you did get)

“money doesn’t grow on my back” (het geld groeit me niet op de rug): there isn’t some magical endless source of money, there’s a limit to how much a person can spend (used VERY often by parents - or at least mine - to tell off whiny children who keep asking for expensive things)

“eating rusk with someone” (een beschuitje met iemand eten): staying the night to have sex with someone. over here, rusk? hardtack? like those really crispy baked biscuits sailors used to eat are still a common breakfast food (though apparently they’re a bit softer now, and we eat them with toppings on it), so saying you’d like to eat some rusk with someone means you’d like to spend the night with that person. 

“smiling like a farmer with a toothache” (lachen als een boer met kiespijn): laughing but obviously not actually enjoying it. 

“ant fucker” (mierenneuker): when someone is incredibly nitpicky to a point where they will actively search through, say, a document, just to find small mistakes so they can critique someone. obviously mostly used as an insult. 

[cesium-sheep]

all that "disabled veteran" stuff only applies to people who got a medical discharge (a very slow process - my wife's took 2 years) or successfully applied for disability compensation later (an even slower process with more hoops than civilian disability income as you have to prove both disability and service connection - I'm halfway through year 4 and my board appeal hearing isn't scheduled yet). not everyone goes through this process, and not everyone even can, so there are a lot of people who are disabled and veterans who are just ordinary disabled people as far as the government is concerned.

the one point in its favor, this disability compensation is not means tested, as it's compensation not income. a token apology for destroying your body and/or mind instead of a token attempt to get you to stop being unsightly on the street. the other side of that coin is it's based on how severely disabled the va decides you are rather than financial need, although at least it has a higher cap and increases if you have a spouse, kids, or other dependents. (it also qualifies you for tricare insurance which is pretty cheap but only accepted some places. and you can shop at the px I guess but only my wife is excited about that.)

as for the weird compulsive valorization, it feels at least as hollow to us as it does to you. anytime I call the va about an issue, they have access to my file. they can see that I served for 4 months and received an uncharacterized discharge. their scripts still require them to thank me for my service. this feels deeply slimy and unpleasant. in fact I suspect this by itself drives many veterans away from using these services supposedly available specifically for them, not to mention the word "veteran" by itself changes definition depending why you're asking, because there's a ton of imposter syndrome feed there for the taking. "well I didn't finish training/serve active duty/get deployed/to a combat zone/as a combat mos/get [xyz]/finish a contract/finish 5 contracts/etc so they probably don't actually mean me." layered on top of all the usual internalized ableism (often cranked up to the max on account of at one point being either healthy or stubborn enough to qualify for the military) and other disability imposter syndrome stuff.

finding and accessing these veteran-targeted services is just as obscure and complicated as finding and accessing the civilian ones, which is to say, basically fucking impossible, even the social workers don't know what the fuck is going on. being disabled is being disabled, even if you've jumped all the hoops and conquered all the imposter syndrome and got the little star next to your name, regardless of what little star that even is in context. the only difference is I can theoretically access non-means-tested disability compensation, if I'm bullheaded enough about it. (which didn't actually get brought up elsewhere in the thread afaik.)

idk I think it's just one of those things where visibility does not bring recognition or destigmatization, and actually kinda others us further, from the disabled community and from ourselves. I'm not a "disabled veteran" in my head, I'm a disabled person who happened to get fucked up by the military so I can demand money from them. like if corporations were required to have really good worker's comp.

There's the Medical Model of Disability, and the Social Model of Disability. There's also a third one...

The medical model of disability frames the disability as starting and ending with the individual and their impairment. And dealing with that means fixing (curing) what is broken about them.

The social model of disability frames disability as emerging from the society in which the individual lives -- that an "impairment" becomes a "Disability" when it is not accommodated or accepted.

I was recently reminded that there's also the moral model of disability, that says that disabilities are punishments for sin, or evil in a person.

In today's "Scientific Age," we (in the industrialized West at least), like to think that we've left the moral model of disability in the past -- that the Puritans in the early American colonies might have believed in that stuff. But we don't believe in demons and curses anymore.

But I actually think that the medical model of disability is a direct descendant of the moral model; modern medical schools may not give lectures on demonology. But doctors and other clinicians still treat disability as some sort of "taint," that the person must be purified of before they can rejoin "normal" society. Cure (or as close to it as you can get) is the first, last, and only, acceptable goal.

If that doesn't smack of exorcism, I don't know what does.

[jcmorgenstern]

@superohclair oh god okay please know these are all just incoherent ramblings so like, idk, please feel free to add on or ignore me if im just wildly off base but this is a bad summary of what ive been thinking about and also my first titans/batman meta?? (also, hi!)

okay so for the disclaimer round: I am not an actual cultural studies major, nor do I have an extensive background in looking at the police/military industrial complex in media. also my comics knowledge is pretty shaky and im a big noob(I recently got into titans, and before that was pretty ignorant of the dceu besides batman) so I’ll kind of focus in on the show and stuff im more familiar with and apologize in advance?. basically im just a semi-educated idiot with Opinions, anyone with more knowledge/expertise please jump in! this is literally just the bullshit I spat out incoherently off the top of my head. did i mention im a comics noob? because im a comics noob.

so on a general level, I think we can all agree that batman as a cultural force is somewhat on the conservative side, if not simply due to its age and commercial positioning in American culture. there are a lot of challenges and nuances to that and it’s definitely expanding and changing as DC tries to position itself in the way that will...make the most money, but all you have to do is take a gander through the different iterations of the stories in the comics and it’ll smack you in the fucking face. like compare the first iteration of Jason keeping kids out of drugs to the titans version and you’ve got to at least chuckle. at the end of the day, this is a story about a (white male) billionaire who fights crime.

to be fair, I’d argue the romanticization of the police isn’t as aggressive as it could be—they are most often presented as corrupt and incompetent. However, considering the main cop characters depicted like Jim Gordon, the guys in Gotham (it’s been a while since I saw it, sorry) are often the romanticized “good few” (and often or almost always white cis/het men), that’s on pretty shaky ground. I don’t have the background in the comics strong enough to make specific arguments, so I’ll cede the point to someone who does and disagrees, but having recently watched a show that deals excellently with police incompetence, racism, and brutality (7 Seconds on Netflix), I feel at the very least something is deeply missing. like, analysis of race wrt police brutality in any aspect at all whatsoever.

I think it can be compellingly read that batman does heavily play into the military/police industrial complex due to its takes on violence—just play the Arkham games for more than an hour and you’ll know what I mean. to be a little less vague, even though batman as a franchise valorizes “psychiatric treatment” and “nonviolence,” the entire game seems pretty aware it characterizes treatment as a madhouse and nonviolence as breaking someone’s back or neck magically without killing them because you’re a “good guy.” while it is definitely subversive that the franchise even considers these elements at all, they don’t always do a fantastic job living up to them.

and then when you consider the fetishization of tools of violence both in canon and in the fandom, it gets worse. same with prisons—if anything it dehumanizes people in prisons even more than like, cop shows in general, which is pretty impressive(ly bad). like there’s just no nuance afforded and arkham is generally glamorized. the fact that one of the inmates is a crocodile assassin, I will admit, does not help. im not really sure how to mitigate that when, again, one of the inmates is a crocodile assassin, but I think my point still stands. fuck you, killer croc. (im just kidding unfuck him or whatever)

not to take this on a Jason Todd tangent but I was thinking about it this afternoon and again when thinking about that cop scene again and in many ways he does serve as a challenge to both batman’s ideology as well as the ideology of the franchise in general. his depiction is always a bit of a sticking point and it’s always fascinating to me to see how any given adaptation handles it. like Jason’s “”street”” origin has become inseparable from his characterization as an angry, brash, violent kid, and that in itself reflects a whole host of cultural stereotypes that I might argue occasionally/often dip into racialized tropes (like just imagine if he wasn’t white, ok). red hood (a play on robin hood and the outlaws, as I just realized...today) is in my exposure/experience mostly depicted as a villain, but he challenges batman’s no-kill philosophy both on an ethical and practical level. every time the joker escapes he kills a whole score more of innocent people, let alone the other rogues—is it truly ethical to let him live or avoid killing him for the cost of one life and let others die?

moreover, batman’s ““blind”” faith in the justice system (prisons, publicly-funded asylum prisons, courts) is conveniently elided—the story usually ends when he drops bad guy of the day off at arkham or ties up the bad guys and lets the police come etc etc. part of this is obviously bc car chases are more cinematic than dry court procedurals, but there is an alternate universe where bruce wayne never becomes batman and instead advocates for the arkham warden to be replaced with someone competent and the system overhauled, or in programs encouraging a more diverse and educated police force, or even into social welfare programs. (I am vaguely aware this is sometimes/often part of canon, but I don’t think it’s fair to say it’s the main focus. and again, I get it’s not nearly as cinematic).

overall, I think the most frustrating thing about the batman franchise or at least what I’ve seen or read of it is that while it does attempt to deal with corruption and injustice at all levels of the criminal justice system/government, it does so either by treating it as “just how life is” or having Dick or Jim Gordon or whoever the fuckjust wipe it out by “eliminating the dirty cops,” completely ignoring the non-fantasy ways these problems are dealt with in real life. it just isn’t realistic. instead of putting restrictions on police violence or educating cops on how to use their weapons or putting work into eradicating the culture of racism and prejudice or god basically anything it’s just all cinematized into the “good few” triumphing over the bad...somehow. its always unsatisfying and ultimately feels like lip service to me, personally.

this also dovetails with the very frustrating way mental health/”insanity” or “madness” is dealt with in canon, very typical of mainstream fiction. like for example:“madness is like gravity, all it takes is a little push.” yikes, if by ‘push’ you mean significant life stressors, genetic load, and environemntal influences,  then sure. challenge any dudebro joker fanboy to explain exactly what combination of DSM disorders the joker has to explain his “””insanity””” and see what happens. (these are, in fact, my plans for this Friday evening. im a hit at parties).

anyway I do really want to wax poetic about that cop scene in 1x06 so im gonna do just that! honestly when I first saw that I immediately sat up like I’d sat on a fucking tack, my cultural studies senses were tingling. the whole “fuck batman” ethos of the show had already been interesting to me, esp in s1, when bruce was basically standing in for the baby boomers and dick being our millennial/GenX hero. I do think dick was explicitly intended to appeal to a millennial audience and embody the millennial ethos. By that logic, the tension between dick and Jason immediately struck me as allegorical (Jason constantly commenting on dick being old, outdated, using slang dick doesn’t understand and generally being full of youthful obnoxious fistbumping energy).

Even if subconsciously on the part of the writers, jason’s over-aggressive energy can be read as a commentary on genZ—seen by mainstream millennial/GenX audiences as taking things too far. Like, the cops in 1x06 could have been Nick Zucco’s hired men or idk pretty much anyone, yet they explicitly chose cops and even had Jason explain why he deliberately went after them for being cops so dick (cop) could judge him for it. his rationale? he was beaten up by cops on the street, so he’s returning the favor. he doesn’t have the focused “righteous” rage of batman or dick/nightwing towards valid targets, he just has rage at the world and specifically the system—framed here as unacceptable or fanatical. as if like, dressing up like a bat and punching people at night is, um, totally normal and uncontroversial.

on a slightly wider scope, the show seems to internally struggle with its own progressive ethos—on the one hand, they hire the wildly talented chellah man, but on the other hand they will likely kill him off soon. or they cast anna diop, drawing wrath from the loudly racist underbelly of fandom, but sideline her. perhaps it’s a genuine struggle, perhaps they simply don’t want to alienate the bigots in the fanbase, but the issue of cops stuck out to me when I was watching as an social issue where they explicitly came down on one side over the other. jason’s characterization is, I admit and appreciate, still nuanced, but I’d argue that’s literally just bc he’s a white guy and a fan favorite. cast an actor of color as Jason and see how fast fandom and the writer’s room turns on him.

anyway i don’t really have the place to speak about what an explicitly nonwhite!cop!dick grayson would look like, but I do think it would be a fascinating and exciting place to start in exploring and correcting the kind of vague and nebulous complaints i raise above. (edit: i should have made more clear, i mean in the show, which hasn’t dealt with dick’s heritage afaik). also, there’s something to be said about the cop vs detective thing but I don’t really have the brain juice or expertise to say it? anyway if you got this far i hope it was at least interesting and again pls jump in id love to hear other people’s takes!!

tldr i took two (2) cultural studies classes and have Opinions

[breetzreactz]

Star Trek: Picard 1x10 - Et in Arcadia Ego pt 2

elnor is so fucking precious

can’t remember Narek’s sister’s name

thinking about this synthetic federation thing. seems kinda silly in a lot of ways. like... why would they leave this message anyway? they said they are watching...

now that I think of it, seems weird that Saga could die so easily

I appreciate that they actually decided to fill out the Romulan religion

thinking about how it makes no sense that they crashed the borg cube

how are organics able to beat up synthetics. data was always much stronger

I get that the tal shiar/zhat vash is all powerful or whatever, but 200 ships seems like too much for a organization without a government

seven the revenger is a good look. Seven of Nine: Space Revenger is the new name for the spinoff series

picard maneuver lol

“planetary sterilization pattern number 5″ WHAT. WHY DO YOU NEED MORE THAN ONE OF THESE!

I hope picard actually dies, but it would seem weird to let Agnes die too

jesus did the federation send the whole fucking fleet

are they all the same model lol. that’s so fucking lazy

riker being the captain is bad. shoulda been someone else. hell, any other TNG character would have worked

“you’re in no shape to talk to people” what. even dying people can talk

robot snakes, cool. I wonder if they’ll come up again

oh right I forgot they set up riker as being reserve. that’s fine I guess

picard golem time

I wonder if their gonna resolve the data’s memories thing

just let picard die already

if they establish the existence of an afterlife, I’ll be mad. although I guess it wouldn’t be the first time they didn’t something like that in star trek

data saying the year like that doesn’t sit with me. he never did that before afaik

so data is alive, but only in a simulation?

here it comes, picard golem time

okay, so they’re gonna kill data. that’s good

called it, golem time

cool, so the golem means nothing at all. the brain thing was just a bullshit emotional hook with no stakes

wait raffi and seven gonna fuck?

wait they never explained why the synthetics attacked in the first place? did the zhat vash hack them?

okay so new ship and crew... but I assume rios still needs to make money or something? it’s unclear what his motivations are in general. living in the federation you’d assume you don’t need a job

[morganapengdragon]

An English guide to fanfic 1

So I've read a lot of fic set in England lately, by writers who don't have anyone to 'brit pick' what they've written. But everyone deserves to be able to write stuff set in this hellhole of a country so if you don't have/want a brit picker but still want some general advice I'm gonna make a series of posts which might help with making your fic sound a little more natural. I'm gonna start with education because that's the one I've seen people have most problems with.

This is a long post so be warned

Education

There are 3 main parts of the school system (for comprehensive schools in England, I know it's different for rich people and people in Scotland/Ireland/Wales).

Primary school:

Primary school spans ages 4-11 and the years are

Reception: ages 4-5

Year 1: ages 5-6

Year 2: ages 6-7 (some schools make a split after this point, with the younger years referred to as 'infant' school and the older years referred to as 'junior' school)

Year 3: 7-8

Year 4: 8-9

Year 5: 9-10

Year 6: 10-11

A couple of information tidbits:

A lot of schools teach sex education in year 5 and 6. They tell you what sex is and what periods are. The year is split into boys and girls. They don't really talk about gay people, trans people or contraception.

It's not very common now but some schools will do a SATS exam in year 6. The grades go from 1-5 with 5 being the highest. They mean nothing but we all used to get stressed about them anyway.

Kids can also choose to do an 11+ exam if they want to go to grammar school. I never did it so I can't help you there. Some places in the country put more emphasis on the importance of grammar school than others (looking @@@ Kent) and some places don't have any grammar school at all.

Hard hitting insults when I was a kid were things like 'nerd' and 'weird'. We don't really use 'geek' much. 'Damn' and 'hell' aren't swear words here and kids will sometimes say them.

Most primary schools have uniforms

Secondary school:

Secondary school ages are 11-16 and the years are

Year 7: 11-12

Year 8: 12-13

Year 9: 13-14

Year 10: 14-15

Year 11: 15-16

There are 4 MAIN types of secondary school (afaik)

Comprehensive schools (like the one I went to) are your standard school. You just kind of have to live close to it to get in.

Grammar schools work kind of like comps but you have to pass the 11+ exam. Not everyone takes this exam (I never did, my closest grammar school is fuck off miles away). Apparently you get a better education there or something. Idk man but they like to make fun of the local comprehensives.

Private/public school. You have to pay to go to these types of school. I don't really know the ACTUAL difference between private and public but from what I can tell, public is more expensive and fancier. I think their version of primary school is called prep school?? All of the years work differently and every time a public school kid tries to tell me something about their education its gets more confusing. Rich people.

Boarding school. This is basically a private school but you live there and it costs more money than all of my possessions put together. There are quite a few, with some of the most famous being Eton, Harrow, Winchester etc. They are usually either all boys or all girls schools (those three are all boys schools). Rich people.

More detailed infos:

Year 7-9 is referred to as 'lower school' with 10 and 11 being 'upper school'

The exams taken in year 11 are usually GCSEs. These used to be called O-levels for some reason and lots of older people will sometimes call them that by mistake.

Kids choose which GCSEs they want to do at the end of year 9, and start learning the material in year 10.

Maths, science and English are all compulsory and make up 5/6 GCSEs (one maths, two English, two or three science).

Most people do about 10 and can pick from all of the other subjects what they want to do.

We don't really have a 'locker room' culture????

It's quite common for people to go to all girls or all boys schools.

Schools here are nowhere near as big as American schools. We probably won't have high budget theaters or particularly large sports areas.

I've never heard anyone talk about 'funding'???? Just assume nothing is funded, arts and sports alike. We do lots of fundraisers for anything expensive like rugby tours or school productions.

We still have that weird culture thing where like if you're smart then you can't be popular or play sports???? Strange.

Sitting at a specific table at lunch time isn't really a thing. Actually most people brought lunch from home and then would just sit somewhere outside. A lot of the buildings would be closed during breaks.

Not many people really drive to school.

Sixth form/college

After you finish secondary school most people go into either college or sixth form (or a sixth form college). Years are

Age 16-17: sometimes called year 12, sometimes called lower sixth, sometimes called first year

Age 17-18: year 13, upper sixth, second year

Sixth form:

Some schools have an attached sixth form. A variation of the school uniform is often worn, or students will be asked to wear smart clothing or something

There are also sixth form colleges which are a bit more informal, less of a school environment. Students usually tend to wear their own clothes and call teachers by their first names. They're usually viewed as well.

The qualifications earned at the end of year 12 are called AS levels. They count partially towards your final A level grade. Students usually do 4 and drop one at the end of the year. You can do more if you want tho (I did five and died). You can do whatever subjects you want. Like. Literally nothing is compulsory. You wanna do art, music, dance and anthropology? Fuck it why not?

The highest AS grade is an A. B and C is a pass. D and E are fail marks. U stands for ungradable i.e you got so few marks that your exam isn't even worth a grade.

At the end of year 13 you do A levels. You need 3 to get into uni. Some people do 4. They always regret it.

Grades for A levels are the same as AS but they go up to an A*.

Some schools do a thing called the International baccalaureate. I don't understand what it is and frankly it scares me. I don't know how it's graded or what you need for uni. It's a mystery.

Sixth forms can be comp/grammar/Private/boarding same as secondary school.

College:

You can do a bunch of different types of qualifications. Most popular are usually B-Techs and Diplomas.

You usually only study one subject as opposed to four.

From what I gather, the point in doing a B tech is it's more practical and less theoretical and aims to help you get the skills necessary to go straight into the work force.

Unis kind of have to evaluate B-techs fairly, but they don't like them.

Nobody thinks very highly of B-Techs unfortunately bc they're considered to be less academic and easier. Idk if that's the case but there you go. People will sometimes refer to shit versions of other things as 'B-Tech'. For example, Pepsi is just B-Tech Coca Cola. Boris Johnson is a B-Tech Donald Trump.

I know nothing about the grading system for either of these qualifications im sorry.

In a sixth form college there will be people doing A levels and also people doing B techs all in the same building.

University:

I won't go too much into detail but basically you get a degree at the end of it and degrees usually take 3 years to complete. Years are first year, second year, third year etc.

Some courses are longer and some people will do a year in industry in their third year, making their overall degree time 4 years.

Tuition is currently £9,250 per year. I have never met anyone who hasn't gotten a loan for this.

Most people also apply for a maintenance loan. You get money proportional to your family income. The highest is about £8,500 per year. Idk what the lowest is. Some people choose not to take out this loan and their parents give them financial support instead.

The pay back plan for these loans is super lenient, doesn't affect your credit score and is wiped clean after 35 years. Most students think of their loan as more of a tax than a debt (tho we all still cry about it).

People don't live in dorms. We call them halls of residence (or halls for short).

Most people don't live in halls after first year, they leave and find shared housing.

Most halls aren't catered.

Most halls don't have shared rooms.

Because we study so few subjects at A level, we do have this system in the UK where you take a bunch of different unrelated subjects in your first year and then decide on your major later. Instead you apply for a programme already knowing your major. So when I applied to university I applied to the BA French and German Linguistic Studies course at a number of universities.

Different courses have different entry requirements. So it's easier to get into uni to study History than it is to study Maths.

Each 'class' is referred to as a module, and all of your modules are usually related to your main degree title.

Stereotypically STEM students think that humanities students are dumb. Humanities students think STEM students are arseholes who don't know how to read so if you wanna have that kinda jock/nerd type rivalry but in uni then humanities/STEM is quite a good one.

We call all of our lecturers by their first names. Sometimes we go to the pub with them. I watched a documentary about gay porn with one of them. It's chill.

I've never seen anyone show up to a lecture in pyjamas. People would think it's weird.

We refer to clubs as 'societies'. I love being part of the Musical Theatre Society. It's sounds so much more impressive than club.

The English version of Ivy League is Russel Group. The most prestigious Unis outside of Oxford and Cambridge tend to be: Durham, St Andrews (Scotland), Imperial, LSE and Warwick.

Slang and Groups

We don't really use the word 'jock'. In my school we called those guys the 'Rugby Lads' because they all played rugby.

We don't really use the word preppy/peppy whatever because I literally don't know anybody who is like that.

Try 'Drama kids' instead of Theater kids.

The kids who do drugs and don't come to school are called road men. Even the girls. To do road is to deal drugs but you don't really hear people say that much.

If we can't be bothered to say a teachers full title we will usually call them 'sir' or 'miss' but not really ma'am.

'Hall Pass' isn't a thing.

Our school did have prefects but fuck if I know who they were. They didn't really have any extra responsibility or power.

School uniforms are a thing in most schools. The things people did to make themselves seem cool were things like rolling their skirts up super short, wearing the rugby ties on match days, trying to get away with shoes that don't TECHNICALLY break the rules but are deffo not allowed, wearing as much make up as they could get away with, without teachers noticing. Our school was p strict on uniform tho in comparison with a lot of schools in my area.

If your accent doesn't fit the standard for your area it will affect you in some way (depending on your accent).

Homeroom is called registration

Gym is sometimes called the sports hall

People don't really go to school matches unless they're dating sb bc we don't have bleachers.

Home ecenomics was called Food Tech and Textiles in my school

Woodshop or whatever is called DT (design and technology)

People don't get as involved in extracurriculars in school (but they do at uni).

We DO have houses and we get points given to out houses like in Harry Potter but unlike Harry Potter literally nobody gives a fuck. In my school they added a whole new house and moved everyone into new houses and literally nobody noticed and nothing changed.

There is a BIG difference between comp schools and all of the other kinds in terms of culture. I didn't know this until I went to uni and started joking about the time some kid started throwing chairs in RE (religious education) or when so and so tried to set our French teacher on fire and literally all of the grammar school kids were like O.O WTF.

Slang and school culture will also vary a lot depending on where you live. I live in East London which is not a very well off area but it IS in london so my experiences would match with that.

Everything is completely different in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland so like.... Sorry.

[omegatheunknown]

AEW Fyter Fest

AEW keeps the momentum going with a card that was a little less prestigious, but a little more chaotic, but overall entertaining and plenty filling.

- What’s the draw of the ‘Buy-In’ pre-card, especially when the whole show is free? Obviously don’t give away your best offerings for nothing, but if the point is bringing eyes to the product and having them follow-up by buying the event... these pre-cards are not going to do that. - I sort of love the introduction of JR with entrance music as a ‘and now the real show is beginning’ signifier. JR’s really got some of his passion back, and the combination with Excalibur continues to be a surprisingly satisfying one. May Alex Marvez stay out of the both indefinitely. - Camera cuts have calmed down. I think this event was at .5 Dunns for unnecessary cuts, which is still far too many, but at least they stopped stacking cut/cut/cut and opted for more of those lovely crane shots. Entrance music should be way louder, the pyro was fun, the dumb fyre fest gag at least allowed for a colourful set design and AFAIK no legendary Canadian grapplers fell off the stage trying to head straight back up the tunnel. So that’s a big win.  *Pre-Card Best Friends v SCU v Private Party (**) - Three way tag-team matches with only two active teams is always an odd stipulation and as fun as that match was to get the party started, the format leads to any finish getting a bit dusty as a result. Really enjoying Marq Quen and his Wesley Snipes-in-Demoltion Man fit. Allie v Leva Bates (dud) - The Librarians are an intentionally awful gimmick with plenty of winking going on, which is fun on BTE for thirty seconds a week but the live crowd seems to be beyond done with Bates and Avalon and the shushing. I will admit it took too for long it to click for me to realize the heelish potential in wrestlers attempting to keep the crowd as quiet as possible, but as fun as that meta-irony is, it meant this slow moving match which should’ve hyped up the crowd on the debuting Allie (The Bunny alive and well after being killed to death by Su Yung on Impact, Cherrybomb’s current whereabouts unknown.) looked worse than it was and was the worst thing on the card. Michael Nakazawa v Jebailey (**) - I have heard the name enough by now that I know that Jebailey is ‘the’ CEO guy but I don’t really know what that means or what he does in everyday life but he’s certainly a non-wrestler and yet he showed a decent grasp of the fundamentals and Nakazawa ran him through what was a DDT-esque comedy match with some funny spots and a nice turn for Bryce Remsburg as wrestling’s most committed comic referee.  *Main Card CIMA v Christopher Daniels (**1/2) - Daniels has never felt like a bigger deal than he does now, on the edge of fifty. Hard not to root for a guy with 25+ years experience trusted to have an explosive curtain jerker and get the crowd into the evening. CIMA’s an excellent foil, the pair are so smooth and deft at building a match I only wish there was more at stake between them, which is maybe the through-line of the whole evening barring some exceptions. They’re putting in groundwork elsewhere for the fall, but before AEW gets to TNT they’re going to do some more of these exhibition style affairs. Riho v Nyla Rose v Yuka Sakazaki (***) - A pox on B/R live or my friend’s wifi for stalling and so we missed Yuka’s amazing theme song, but AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA aside, this was a really nice match with a bit of sloppiness that nevertheless made up for the kneecapping of Nyla via Awesome Kong last month. Nyla looked every bit the powerhouse, pulled off a couple really nice high-energy maneuvers (knee drop from the top rope to the rope-hung Riho was nuts.) Conversely, there were definitely moments early on where it looked too much like a two-on-one match, though it did ultimately build to a satisfying bit of anguish for poor Yuka. Hangman Adam Page v Jimmy Havoc v Jungle Boy v MJF (***) - Prayers up for the audience-cutaway victim of MJF’s savage (rote but knocked out of the park) promo. Salt of the Earth. - Wondered what Havoc was bringing to the match until I realized it’s nice to show him in a more conventional competition and it doesn't harm him in the least to eat a pin. A good showing, though I miss the AFI. - Jungle Boy is going to be great. Got in some really bananas aerial stuff, and like... not to put too fine a point on it, but he looks like Luke Perry. - Adam Page is money. I don’t remember exactly but how is it he was more or less randomly assigned to Bullet Club-RoH as ‘just a guy,’ just three years ago? Sure, he was 24 years old and still finding his pace in the ring, but everyday there is less and less doubt that he’s a top guy, he’s your big beautiful babyface hero. Match was as good as one could reasonably expect from a four-way. Cody v Darby Allin (****) - A lot of the cards for All In, DoN and Fyter Fest have been exhibition matches for skill and style. Cody, probably recognizing where his strengths as a wrestler lie, has been the big exception -- nothing at All In had the emotional resonance of Cody winning the NWA World Heavyweight Championship, nothing at Double or Nothing (or most of wrestling in 2019) could touch the intensity of the Rhodes vs Rhodes match, and last night Cody delivered another of the best version of himself and helped Darby Allin make himself a big fucking deal. The kid is nuts, though I have to assume some skateboard bumps put falling on mats to absolute shame. Maybe my friends and I are nuts, but we were all pretty sure that the controversial post-match chair shot was largely taken on the shoulder with some accidental (and sharp) contact to the head. Also is it really a Cody match if he doesn’t gig? Apparently there have been some subsequent developments suggesting they really did intend for one (1) unprotected chair shot for the love of the sport, to which I say, again, Cody is his father’s son.  The Elite v Lucha Brothers & Laredo Kid (****) - 100% exhibition, 100% spot fest, despite the pseudo-feud going between the Young Bucks and Los Hermanos de Lucha, this was bound to be one of those pure sprint ‘show me what you’ve got’ type of matches. Emotions, strife and storytelling are integral to the wrestling theatre, but so is the actual wrestling. The Young Bucks and their perfect opponents -- Penta & Fenix, also the Motor City Machine Guns, also SCU, also the Briscoes -- are the finest purveyors of tag team wrestling in form of the free-flowing, spot-to-spot-to-spot kinesis that they’ve made their name on and this was no different from the ‘usual’ mind-bending and entertaining spectacle possible when The Elite are in the ring. That Laredo Kid came out and hung tough with 5 of the best wrestlers in the world is astounding and marks him as one to watch. - Of special note, as usual, is Fenix, who is better and crazier every time I see him, like he’s in the process of a Hiromu Takahashi-esque supernova. Legitimately might be the best talent to appear in the ring for AEW.  Jon Moxley v Joey Janela (***1/2) - Loved the work Justin Roberts did to introduce this match. Such gravitas. So silly. - Moxley’s back in his element, and I’m suddenly a huge mark, though I am way more excited about what he’s been doing in New Japan, up to and including his choices in ring gear. Though at least he’s out of jeans and wife beaters. Match was well-paced for a deathmatch style, no doubt owing to both party’s absurd enthusiasm for this sort of utter nonsense.  - Joey Janela has way too much of a Mick Foley (for the fans, for the love of pain) in him and I don’t think any amount of beatings will beat it out of him. Though Moxley seemed game to try. - Barefoot thumbtacks is decently fucked up, I think. The level of mayhem was balanced nicely between sadism (tacks, barbed wire boards,) wrestling nonsense (barbed wire wrapped chair) and satisfying spots (Joey’s big elbow drop.) - Kenny getting his revenge was necessary but seemed a bit half-hearted, almost? I’m plenty excited for their match as is, all he needed to do was assault Mox in the ring and peace out, but I guess tit-for-tat is the law of the jungle.

[thedogsled]

Who Tube (Doctor Who YouTube) is hilariously terrible at the moment. You’ve got new fans being gatekept by old fans and then yelling at the old fans and then the old fans yelling back, people subtweeting each other on their channels “Some YouTubers, they know who they are”, people posting vicious rants as soon as episodes end--lots of really really toxic shit on both sides. Like. It’s hilarious--if you enjoy VERY thinly veiled misogyny on one side and blind adoration for progressiveness at the expense of decent writing on the other. If you listen to these people, it’s not very difficult to see where the canon schism between straight white “geek culture” males and anyone with a so labeled by said people SJW motivation come to blows. They both think the other side is just ignorant, and the constant lashing out is just. Wow. It’s really. Wow.

Saltiness ahead.

It frustrates me a lot, because I feel the show has been really hit and miss this season and the warring on YouTube is just another example of how you just can’t discuss this reasonably. It’s not all bad, but it’s certainly been far from all good. Some of it REALLY works, like for example Ryan’s dyspraxia and the decision to explore Yasmin’s character through her grandmother’s story, but some of it doesn’t. I was particularly dismayed today, spoilers, by James I being played through the lens of modern campness by Alan Cumming this week, turning the former monarch into a queer caricature (I know the guy most from his role in Spy Kids, Fegan Floop, which replays ENDLESSLY on british TV). I feel like a lot of the episodes of this season have been simply the characters thrown into chaos, bad guy is revealed to be an alien, then the Doctor gives a shockingly profound, emotional speech that makes you forget how awful some of the other parts were and you go away with ~feels~ and not much else, because all the endings are pulled out of the writer’s ass anyway. Just. That’s how I personally saltily feel about this show this season, like it’s been platforming for a bunch of different writers saying what they want to say about humanity through the Doctor’s mouth. Like she’s ceased to exist beyond her existence as that mouthpiece, and that in some ways the show has too. (just my opinion. anyway.)

But you can’t talk about this stuff. I find myself reading reviews and watching people who like the show and place no accountability on the show beyond being politically bold, and it drives me nuts. It doesn’t matter what form it comes in, so long as it’s pro-feminist, or it exposes people to history they might not have learned in class, or there’s a dude giving birth for 50% of the airtime. If I want to hear or discuss any challenge to those things, I find myself listening to purely negative reviews instead, and noping out when the person suddenly reveals halfway through that they believe that because men aged 18-40 is a big demographic, it only makes sense that they’re the group that are kowtowed to at every opportunity. Like wtf dudes, sorry you can’t hack that other people exist in the world and you aren’t being catered to 24/7 any more. Fuck off. So it’s no wonder the antis feel Doctor Who lovers are all SJWs and the pos!Who people are convinced that the antis are all racist misogynist fucks. (The showrunners do too afaik, and that isn’t helped at all by Chibnall and Jodie both being SO resistant to negativity that neither of them seem to be soliciting fan feedback that isn’t positive.) Is it hard to ask for objectivity, though? For something that comes down the middle? That isn’t racist and misogynistic, but maybe still cares about how the things we’re looking for in terms of representation are being handed to us? How about, at least, not having to listen to some people who are so entitled that they literally think that Jodie Whitaker shouldn’t have shot out any babies so that she can instead devote her entire life to making TV shows? (Seriously, I listened to one girl who thought that, and you could hear her contempt for people who have kids in every syllable.)

I’ve liked episodes of this season. The Kablam! episode was great, I only had minor complaints with the ep that I handwaved away because I felt like there was actually some dramatic tension. I liked episode 2 because it was idk. A fun adventurous romp and the characters all had flaws. I quite liked Rosa because it had the bones of something better, and that showed through in all the scenes where Rosa’s actress (Vinette Robinson, who was also in the Chibnall episode ‘42′, btw what nepotism how many british actors do you think there are?) interacted with the other characters. 

But they weren’t all perfect, at least to me. Maybe I’m a negative nelly, because everyone seems to be tripping over themselves to scream positivity about the show in their reviews, but I, personally, feel like much of it has fallen flat. When they did finally drop - as they’ve been avoiding for much of this season - the ‘If I was a bloke this wouldn’t have been a problem’ thing, it wasn’t even delivered with a great deal of gravity or purpose. Maybe some people think that was a good thing, I don’t know, but looking at the way sexism was handled in Timeless, for example, and hell, Sliders (which was a trashy 90s show about jumping between alternate realities; or Quantum Leap for that matter, which had Sam jump into the lives of women in the past and experience days in their lifetimes), it’s way past the era of TV to deliver that kind of line like it’s inconsequentially drawing attention to something nobody noticed before, you know? Why is the BBC always 100 years behind, despite playing like it’s the most progressive thing ever? Why do we let it, and say “Sure we’ll take it, that’s enough” instead of also insisting they tell GOOD stories, and not wave their hand and say aliens did it at the end of every episode? I get it’s a time traveling series but the aliens show up and then the doctor waves her magic wand and ~science~ and yes she quoted Arthur C Clarke but she can do that and be powerful and tell powerful stories that aren’t completely...halfhearted, and if you don’t have trumped up stupid bad guys you don’t have to have flimsy solutions for beating them at the end.

We SHOULD be seeing ourselves in the media we’re absorbing. I firmly believe that. I also think, though, that we’re entitled to be respected by that media as well, in that the stories we’re seeing that show US should be good stories. They shouldn’t be concentrating on making as many nods as possible to as many corners of culture as possible that it stops caring about the story it’s telling, because whatever politically correct points it scores will ensure people overlook its flaws. It’s disrespectul, and we shouldn’t allow it, because it means we’re nothing but a commodity, an unquestioning storyblind audience that just doesn’t care so long as our representation needs are getting catered to. That means we’ll keep getting more representation, but a lot of it will be shit, because no matter what we’ll throw up our hands and give it ten out of ten and rigorously defend it no matter what caricatures it throws in front of us.

We should demand better stories alongside our representation. Fandom is so powerful now that we’re being written for, because as a whole we aren’t objective. We engage in mass squeeing, we’re GREAT at giving positive feedback and high ratings like it’s our job to do it even if it’s undeserved (and arguably Who NEEDED that positive feedback this year) and best of all anyone who doesn’t agree can be written off as an angry white dude, or racist, or just ignorant. That’s good for ratings and good for clicks, and networks eat that stuff up because it makes them money. But that isn’t respect, and we shouldn’t be selling ourselves out for a bargain basement price.

That’s my last word on it for now. I’ll probably complain again next week, and I know I KNOW this isn’t a popular pov for people, but I’ve made my bed with that. For those of you who loved it, I’m glad for you. I’m mostly disappointed for myself. And I still think camp James I was fucking terrible but I already know people love him, so what do I know?

P.S. my tags are for my flist so they can blacklist properly, not to force my saltiness down the throats of other Who fans. You don’t have to agree with me. I just needed to vent.

[pekorosu]

some rambly thinky thoughts

warning for ch17 and 18 spoilers 

so i've finally figured out how to make the mangaone app work... turns out i had to use a vpn -_- apparently u can read a chapter in advance (ch18 in this case) but ofc some money has to be spent lol

anyway !!! wow! imma try not to go into too much detail but i need to dump my thoughts somewhere

we're finally getting into the enigma that's anonymous!!

i like that ch17 brings up how anon may seem distant or even emotionless to most ppl, but that's not entirely true. esp that shot of her expression when tchaiko mentions seichirou's condition, and the whole thing with tsubaki (👀) insisting anon is human too.

this eventually culminates in the next chp reveal:

anon: “i think i'm probably asexual.”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kinda makes me go hmmmmm tho. since this is in jp, “asexual” doesn't quite have the same meaning as it would in english... in fact it's closer to what we would now consider “aromantic asexual”

further context:

“oh, an asexual... that’s having no interest in both romance and sex, wasn’t it?” “yes.”

(this isn’t an area i’m well-versed with but afaik "nonsexual/ノンセクシャル" is more commonly used to refer to those who do experience romantic attraction. seems like things are done a lil differently in jpn so yeah) 

i’m curious as to how the scanlators are gonna go about it. putting a lil note to clarify would be sufficient i guess. just worried it might worsen the already existing misconceptions of asexuality among english-speakers, haha. anon’s story does have more to do with not wanting to settle down in a romantic partnership as per societal expectations, instead preferring a solitary life (among other things... their aversion to labels seems to extend to their entire self imo). 

shrugs. anyway.

tchaiko & seichirou bring up the idea that perhaps what anon wants is to be “anonymous” (“you are nobody; just a ‘someone’ that no one knows, from somewhere”)... which triggers a “that’s it!!!!!” moment for anon. so they decide to ditch all labels and “become” that from then on. 

however, tchaiko thinks all they’ve done is attach a new label onto anon and wonders if that’s actually a good thing or not.

point. but hey, at least it’s a label that anon likes, right?

on the other hand, tasuku ponders if it's really possible to live in solitude, if anon truly doesn't get special feelings for anyone at all. thinks that yeah, being in love is painful but at least it beats being lonely.

ah yes, the usual but how can u possibly be happy without (romantic) love! 

*pats tasuku on the head* 

i’m sure anon isn’t lonely... after all y'all are there keeping them company :)

other things: 

- saki apparently got outed to her dad??? aaaaaaaaa i hope everything works out in the end *crosses fingers* 

in hindsight i wonder if the trash bag saki found in front of the lounge is like... foreshadowing or smth o_o it did take up half a page...

- wow tsubaki has been hanging out at the lounge a LOT... guess he’s an official member now lmao. unfortunately ch18 ends ominously with his dad dropping by on business matters, only to find him there.

at this point my gut feeling is pretty much yelling into a megaphone: THIS KID IS BI OR I’M GONNA EAT MY SHOE!!! 

or at least, questioning in some way.

i mean, you could say that he's there so often bc he's a curious kid/growing ally but that doesn't explain why he keeps making random flirty faces at tasuku even tho he’d been all "lol gays are gross" before. 

(??? is "flirty" even the right word? is he making fun of tasuku? we don’t fucking know!!!! he always looks a lil creepy tho idk if that’s intentional or what /sweats)

there’s also haruko going "u must be popular" and him specifically bringing up "yea especially with the girls" before doing the weird thing he does at tasuku again... like... WHY DRAW ATTENTION TO THAT IF IT'S MEANINGLESS? ya okay i guess he could just be being mean on purpose but ughhhhhhhhhhh

tbh the reason i started having this suspicion was actually a few chps back during tsubaki's chat with anon:

"what are you? a lesbian? an ex-guy? ex-girl?" 

"what about you? are you a girl? a guy? or gay?"

i dunno, something about the duality here just stood out to me. girl/guy. gay/lesbian.

and now with this aseku reveal it feels like it could be juxtaposing anon vs tsubaki in the "neither/none" vs "both/all" sense. to me, both of them have a sort of similar vibe in that can’t-be-pinned-down way... but they’re also different?? IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT ARGH

ofc these things could be an indicator of him being closeted with a good dollop of internalised homophobia as opposed to being bi per se. i mean, tasuku did mention tsubaki's tears felt similar to his own when he'd still been deathly afraid of admitting he's gay.

eehhhhhhhh i could end up being absolutely honkingly WRONG and i would be embarrassed as hell but y’know. gut feeling. IDK idk idk. whatever it is, it will likely be clarified in the next chapter aaaaaaaaaa

lastly: i wonder if anyone knows what the whole jumping off a building/walking mid-air imagery anon keeps making ppl see symbolises o_o

[multsicorn]

yuri on ice liveblogging ep 10

Oooh Victor's POV!  Do I get insight into him now!?

Okayy Victor re: offering to take those naked pictures of Christophe, aren't you with Yuuri now?  Isn't that a thing?  If that means we have 'I'm not gonna stop being a flirty playboy it doesn't Mean Anything' fight coming up I'm excited for it tbh, but I hope something happens.

And is Victor's phone case a closeup of a costume of his?  LOL Victor.

"Now he oozes sexuality, but when I first met him he was like a pure little boy" is not making the subtext of Chris being Victor's maybe ex something be LESS, I'm just saying.  It sounds a whole lot like Yuuri's arc too.

LOL Yuriy is such a brat.  Checking in's not that hard… and he gets what he deserves with the horde of catgirls, I guess :D.  Gotta say, his furious faces all the time crack me up.

"Jetlagged Sleeping Beauty"!!!!  I wondered if the Sleeping Beauty references would come back but here I don't think it's a fairy tale thing, just literal.  (And aww it's sweet that Victor calls him beautiful in his narration.)  And… I guess… Victor has ~awakened~ him, arguably, so there's that, even if it's an abstract big-picture thing.

SO WHY ARE VICTORS CLOTHES ON A SEPARATE BED?  Surely they're sleeping together now??  Or maybe not, who knows!

"Yuuri's life and love have opened up a brand new world for me" - okay, after all the professional-level narration that's really fucking touching.  Yuuri's love!!!  But also PLS EXPAND PLS EXPLAIN Victor okay??

Ahhh man Victor posting sexy selfies with another guy while your boyfriend's sleeping in bed!  Let's see how he reacts to that.  *chinhands, gets popcorn*…. apparently NOT AT ALL?  Cmon Yuuri!  I guess he's confident or whatever but I wanna see conflict.

And the beds look like they're pushed right together!  I don't think they did in the earlier shot…?

"Love's changed me" HMM tell me about it.  Oh well of course he's ~stronger.~  And he misses Victor!!!  Awww!!!  Only not when Victor actually comes in lol…. again I would like the Conflict!

"Nobody had ever asked Yuriy if he wanted to be friends with them before" possibly cause he spits venom at everyone but I guess that's why Yuriy/Otabek is a thing!

"Fine then I'm tired" aw <3 lol it's very managey which Victor tends to be but it's what Yuuri needs right now so it's good.

Huhhh I wonder what Victor's meant to be talking about re: Christmas!  e.g. does he mean they still celebrate New Year's instead of Christmas, which is a pretty big thing (what my family does, and huge celebrations on TV) (I would say though like for any big holiday, the decorations and food-making definitely start before the day of!), or is he talking about Orthodox Christmas being in January, or..?  This has nothing to do with anything but I'm curious.

A lucky charm and a gift for Victor, okay, this is the rings!  And he puts it on Victor's finger in a church…… honestly, I'm going with Symbolic Wedding Rings (but actually technically just rings) for whatever money we wanna put on it.

"Thank you Victor, for everything you've done.  I wanted to get you something and this was the best thing I could think of.  Anyway, I, um, I'll do my best from tomorrow on.  So, tell me something?"

"Okay.  I'll tell you something that you won't even have to think about.  Tomorrow, skate in a way that's true to yourself.  Show me a program that makes you proud.  There's only one way to a gold medal that I know, and that's it."

"this was the best thing I could think of" kinda kills me A LOT.  Cause it's obviously not about the appropriateness or quality, physically, of the ring as a simple gift.  It's "the best thing I could think of to give you wasn't a THING, it's this symbol of me/our relationship," it's… giving myself to you symbolically in this way, giving this symbol of seriousness and committment, (which is what the rings are - I don't think they're literally either engaged or married? cause that scene looks like a marriage, not an egagement), is… better than anything, right?  Yuuri has the confidence to say that believing that Victor thinks it's so, but, also, I believe, wants confirmation.

Cause all the thanks and all the doing his best and so forth are real, and are important, as well as being what he's allowed to say by the show, but shhh.

And Victor going with "I'll tell you something you won't even have to think about" is actually wonderful!?  Cause it might sound not so romantic, why's he talking about Yuuri's performance rather than about how much he loves Yuuri, etc., but the fact is… Yuuri, right now, is incredibly worked up about this upcoming performance.  Victor knows it, Victor gets it, and what Yuuri needs from him right now, more than anything, is something that'll calm his nerves.  Something that he won't have to think about cause thinking distracts him - and Victor, presumably, knows that.  So making his response this gentle pep talk is Victor showing Yuuri how he loves him, rather than telling him.

"At the banquet you got wasted on champagne and started dancing."  Yuuri's dirty moves!  Again, so this is where this came from!

Yuri says "it's a good luck charm!  And, you know, there are layers!"  Then Victor says "it's an engagement ring!"  AND HERE I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST FANDOM DISAGREEING LOLOLOL.  And for once I'm not even saying 'er maybe you guys should talk to each other and like FIGURE IT OUT!'  I'm going with what I said earlier, that it's a committment ring, a promise ring, y'know, something like that; symbolic and meaningful and certainly relationshippy, but not too specific within that area.  Not what I'd call an engagement ring per se cause there was no proposal AFAIK.  Meaning the actual truth lies somewhere in between what the two of them said - and it makes total sense how both of them are bending it, not for themselves or for each other but for the audience.

Yuuri doesn't want everyone to know what he's doing/thinking/feeling, he's a pretty private person.  He may not be hiding his relationship with Victor per se but I feel pretty safe saying he'd rather not make a big public thing out of it, either, unless that happens spontaneously in some moment.

Whereas Victor the shameless flirt is like, it's an engagment ring!  Whether he expects anyone to take him seriously or not, he's a show-off.  Like we also know.  And these things aren't just about Victor's or Yuuri's relationship and how they present it, but how they are, generally.

And will they actually get married when/if Yuuri wins the gold?  I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if they get married sometime before next season starts, regardless.  They seem to be moving things pretty fast!  So Victor's not just making shit up in that regard, even if they haven't promised or discussed it.

Also lol JJ is SUCH AN ASS.

Hotel room with two beds pushed together again!  And Victor absent.  Is there some Hays code like rule that we can't see them sharing a bed??

It's, uh, interesting I guess that Victor doesn't feel the need to defend Yuuri in absentia from Yuriy's insults.  I guess he doesn't take them seriously enough.  (I feel like his default actually when it comes to things that aren't skating or love but just, like, general interaction, is neither to take things seriously nor to be serious himself.  Which is an interesting contrast with Yuuri, who's pretty much all serious all the time.)

OKAY WELLLLLLLLL that was an interesting ending sequence, all right!  WITH THE POLE DANCING AND EVERYTHING, and so I guess Yuuri both kinda hit on Victor and asked him to come to Hasetsu and coach him before the season started which um.  Maybe says some things about how weird-seeming Victor was acting when he came out there?  He thought Yuuri wanted him, WOW AMNESIA TROPE, but… he thought Yuuri had just thought better of it, I guess, over time?  Without them ever talking about it apparently, TALKING COULD BE A THING.

Anyway wow yeah yep that's a lot; I'm not in love with any of it myself, but tropey as hell.