#(i mean i love it but what a mindfuck 😭)

[wasabi-gumdrop]

erejean ft. Jean Kirschtein’s camera roll

[feroshgirlsims]

Chapter 4.2 - Dating for Weirdos

ALICE

They end up at Annie Joe’s as a result of Alice’s “Develop a Plan in Realtime” tap dance. It’s a leftover habit from her time with Jeffery. He would never say exactly what he wanted, leaving her to deploy a bunch of coy observations, questions that weren’t really questions, and leaps of faith to figure it out.

“Are you planning to go inside, or do you have some kind of telepathy that allows you to place orders from the sidewalk?” Vlad’s delivery is so deadpan Alice has no idea if he’s teasing her. Plus, he won’t even look at her. 

She bites back the urge to explain that no matter how happy her ex was to meet his friends here, he got so pissed when Alice took him that he shook her until her teeth rattled.

Why did she let him do that? Why did she accept it? Even now, when she knows she was being gaslit, her muscle memory keeps her feet stuck to the pavement.

“I’m afraid this place will poison me,” she lies because it's better than admitting her fear.

“The campus cafeteria will poison you,” Vlad admonishes, but he’s smiling. “This place will change your life. The food is delicious. You made an excellent choice.”

Alice looks down at her feet because she knows if he reaches for her hand she’s going to throw up.

Please don’t do it. Please don’t. 

It takes a few seconds to pull herself together, but when she looks up, Vlad is just holding the door open. Relieved, she follows him into the diner. 

They get stuck behind a woman yelling at a server about her bill. A server who clearly doesn’t give a shit, which—

Good for her. That’s who Alice used to be.

When they get their seats and scan the menu, Alice’s stomach is so twisted in knots from mourning her former self that she only orders coffee. Vlad, meanwhile, raises a brow, doubles the coffee, and then proceeds to order enough food to feed an army. 

The coffee arrives. 

The silence stretches. 

Alice has exactly two thoughts in her head:

Why is talking so hard?

And why is she so broken that she can’t even make conversation? 

She doesn’t realize she’s actually voiced those thoughts until Vlad answers.

“Talking is hard because everyone wastes time saying the opposite of what they mean, and thus, every conversation is deciphering whether you should respond to the thing someone has said or the thing they mean and depending on the time of day and the height of the sun in the fucking sky it could be either.” He sips his coffee, “The problem is not you. The problem is that there are no rules, and hell is other sims.”

Alice doesn’t know whether to wince or laugh. She didn’t used to have such dark thoughts. Being around tons of sims made her happy. She loved parties. Now, large groups make her sweat, and she can’t get through a party unless she has access to alcohol.

Lots and lots of alcohol. 

Hell is other sims.

Vlad takes in her expression and sighs. “I’m sorry. That was…” He breaks off. “I’m probably not going to get through this date without saying something off-putting. I can be unsettling despite my best efforts. Or, well, not really my best effort,” he says almost to himself, “More like no effort if I'm being honest.”

Alice’s mouth falls open. It's a stunning thing to admit on a first date. Sure, she has some obvious flaws, but still, she was worth a little bit of work. “D-did I hear you right?” she demands, “You’re not even trying?”

PREV | NEXT

(Part 2 of 4)

Honestly, shout out to @coolpuppy12, who built this amazing lot! I love it so much 😭😭😭

Also, just gonna say some stuff about Alice here:

When I was young (Alice's age), I was in an abusive relationship, and getting out of it was a REAL MINDFUCK. It took time to get back to my old self (or, I guess, learn that you can't really go back, but you can become something new and better). And when I started working on this story, I was debating on how much of this to actually put in.

Ultimately, I decided to just go for it, which has been pretty cathartic to write.

Anyway, I just wanted to flag this because Alice will probably come off as a bunch of contradictions for a while (She's confident! She's not confident! She's horny! Wait, don't touch her!), and that's just coming out of writing my own experience. She's finding her footing and mourning her old self while trying to trust again.

But rest assured, this is a HEA (Happily Ever After), and baby is gonna figure herself out!

I guess it just felt important to me to write someone in the messy middle bc I needed that when I was in the messy middle. And seeing someone make it to the other side? Fucking chef's kiss.

Okay, enough of me oversharing emotional trauma on the internet! In about five minutes (aka the next part), Vlad is going to say something completely outrageous, and this date is gonna get weird and funny, I promise lol.

[westerberg]

I so desperately just want to get over everything and finally move on with my fucking life but 😭 why do all of the people who claim to love/care about me treat me like shit and why would I always just accept it. Like objectively I can understand what issues are driving these dynamics but like growing up with a narcissistic (he was diagnosed 😬) dad and a sister with some similar traits and losing my mom so young like… my brain chemistry is just messed up and like after being in an environment where people who were claiming to love and care for me while ignoring all but my most basic needs there is like an irrational part of my brain that kind of thinks I deserve being treated like shit and have my feelings and needs ignored & it’s like so hard to shake that line of thinking…. And like I have friends I can kind of talk to but they don’t really understand any of this and idk who to ask 😭 and I’m skeptical of how much I could get out of a therapist bc I react poorly when people try and tell me how I feel and I have a tricky relationship with authority in general. Like not that I’m constantly getting into trouble or breaking the law but I don’t trust authority for sure and I would be super uncomfortable talking to that kind of figure about the worst experiences of my life.

& it’s a especially a weird mindfuck bc i think with my sister and maybe some of the work people their shitty treatment of me comes from a place of jealousy but like 😭 just because I have a crazy waist to hip ratio and a sort of charismatic personality doesn’t mean my life is perfect like come on grow the fuck up. Not to mention it’s a no win situation bc when I was super fat people clearly would think I was like a species slightly less than human and I’d get treated weird based on that. Like especially from my sister her barely hidden jealousy over LOOKS of all things really disgusts me for whatever reason. And she’s said things like “well maybe men are attracted to you, but I have friends!” Like whattttt 😭 awww thanks big sis ❤️ yes you may have only had one short term casual relationship in your 28 years but you DO have casual work friendships that I don’t really have so I guess really you’re pretty cool when you think about it 😛 and she once tried to tell me there wasn’t any “concrete evidence” that people were as into me as I thought which made me feel just as awesomely silenced as I did in the whole work situation 😃

And this is a tangent but like it’s crazy to me how I was parentless at age 20 and no extended family made any real effort to connect or help me or my sister like I don’t understand losing your son and just being like awww 😕 and then you like try and see his kids twice instead of once a year and buy him a memorial bench like. Maybe your grandchildren could use a little more emotional support and guidance in their lives… but they’re incapable of that but that’s a different conversation. Anyway I guess I’m disappointed in nearly everyone I’ve ever known like we could do so much as a species but we’re all so mired in self obsession and jealousy and bullshit and I’m really exhausted by it….

[resident-gay-bitch]

Hello there, I’m in genuine need of more fandom / online friends so like, if you also want more friends, here’s some info about me and maybe we can be friends? <3

My names Jay, I’ve recently picked it for myself (and then realised I could have possibly had an even cooler name Bo which is the shortened of my middle name and now im cursing myself for not realising it sooner and questioning weather or not to do a switch cause idk if Bo or Jay suits me better?!!). I’m 20 and FtM, and I go by he/they pronouns primarily but I also don’t mind if you use any others :)

I’m also Australian so yeah idk if that’s a selling point or not

Oh and I’m labelled as queer, I guess, but dude sexuality is confusing. I’ve recently been going down the aromantic / asexual spiral of questioning but I’m so unsure of everything I really suck at telling the difference between platonic and romantic feelings. I’m also somewhere in the sapphic spectrum I believe. So if you can relate to this mindfuck in any way that would also be rad.

I write fan fic for the Marauders Fandom (sirius is my everything and I’m also a tall sirius truther) and also Stranger Things but primarily Steddie for that tbh.

I’m also in the Good Omens fandom, as well as a few others more casually and don’t write fic for them :) recently I’ve been starting to watch JJK cause my best friend is really into it

My favorite two movies of all time are Rocky Horror Picture Show and Cars. That probably tells you a lot about me to be honest so do with that as you will :)

My favorite musicians are David Bowie at No. 1 (my lord and saviour), Maya Hawke, Hozier, Radiohead (im not a red flag I promise), Conan (I’m seeing him on fri wtf), ooo and I’ll add SOAD cause I’m really into them this month. But it’s ever changing really and there are too many to choose from, I’d say they’re my most listened to though :) I am chronically listening.

Uh I’m gonna spitball some more facts about me this is kinda hard:

I’m the eldest of 4 kids 💀 one of them is 5 years younger than me 💀💀 the other two are 6 years younger 💀💀💀 (I love them sm the annoying shitstarters)

I love to draw and make art but I suck at anatomy and colour theory it makes me want to rip my hair out (and I wanna be a fan artist so bad)

I’m attempting to learn bass but I also cannot commit to learning the bass (I blame my sibling for keeping it in their wardrobe so I forgoet it exists)

I am 90% sure I’m neurodivergent I just cannot really afford to get that diagnosis rn ya know?!

I did ballet & dance most of my life 🤯🤯 (now I’m a bartender and my old ballet teacher is a regular at the sailing club I work and now I look queer and cunty as hell and every time she sees me she just stares in disbelief and fake smiles it’s hilarious)

I still sleep with my childhood teddy :( I love her she is my one thing I would save in a fire. Her name is charlotte and she’s probably 3 years overdue for a bath but I love her

I’m fucking weird about stars - the shape not the astrology - like I love them. I see them and I get very excited and I draw them everywhere (you can probably tell off all my master lists, they all have stars drawn on the title strips 😭) I just really love them they’re so cute. I almost named myself Star actually

I’m a sagittarius. I don’t know what that means but I know it means a lot of things to people so hopefully it’s good things!

My favorite colour is green but more so earthy and cool greens. I love a good scrumptious yummy green, something mossy something sagey. I have a green wall in my room and it’s very nice to look at.

I lived abroad for a little bit as a teen in Vietnam which was amazing and I’m planning to move somewhere abroad again next year hopefully (seriously get me the hell out of SA)

My biggest dream / goal / career choice for most of my life was to be an actor but now I’m just kinda existing with no real drive or purpose in life. But I might pick acting back up now I’m becoming more comfy with myself and my gender :) my dream role is to play Frank from Rocky.

Uuuuuh that’s all I can think of :)

So yes, I hope I have appealed to your interests in one way or another. And if you’d maybe like to be friends please don’t hesitate to send me a message!

Maybe tell me a cool fact about yourself?

Or if you’re too shy to message first you could just add a random comment here or say something in the tags? I’ll message you! <3

Also if you have anymore questions I am trying to be a bit more of an open book, I love when people dive in with the nitty gritty so if you have strange questions I’ll probably be very excited to answer them lmao

Anyway, I hope you have a lovely day random people in my phone I hope to befriend <333

[khaleesiofalicante]

Ok so as far as i understand, in the other timeline, there is no crimson king, lance destroys everything (the stuff lucifer and azazel were talkin about) and then 700 years later, Max (Other max) discovers time travel, comes back to the present timeline and helps kincaid be born in order to… what exactly?

Even if time travel is real, you can’t change the past…You can only manipulate the past to change the future.

Right so other Max can’t change his past, the one in which the prophecy comes true, so now he’s manipulating this past, our current timeline to change the future (and possibly prevent the destruction of everything)?

Also does he know the future of this timeline after he manipulates it? Because i remember him saying something about kincaid and he’s also told david so many times that lance will be fine so it makes sense that he would but i don’t understand how because technically he should know only his 700 years of past, right? He wouldn’t know this future, the one after he changes a couple things (like helping Kincaid be born)- unless he does???

And whyyy was he dreamin of disneyland?? 

idk if any of this makes sense thinking about time travel for too long always makes my head hurt 😭😭 I feel like that one pepe silvia meme 😭

And also what other differences does this timeline have to ours?? I didn’t notice anything except Max having david’s name tattoo on his wrist instead of his chest, the piercing and Victoria not having a baby (though this one was hard to miss) i love the slight mindfuck I had once I realised it was not indeed our timeline

I love a good mind fuck. Don't you?

You seemed to have a good idea of most things so congratulations lmao.

Other Max definitely knows how different the Other Timeline/Future is - because he remembers what it used to be like and when he returns to his own timeline, he notices the changes.

I'll give you a small (inconsequential) spoiler since you've been smarty pants.

In the Other Timeline, Max and David lose the NY institute (if you noticed, Max only is able to save it with Other Max's help). So in the Other Timeline, Mavid move out of the institute into a regular home. But after the day Other Max specifically helps change that event (Preventing moving out of institute), when he goes back to his own timeline, he'll notice his that his mundane home would no longer be there (because he manipulated the past - which then changed his future). If that makes sense to you.

More examples here.

Another thing:

So, in the Other Timeline, we know Lance destroyed Idris and Kincaid didn't exist. But just because Kincaid is born, it doesn't mean Lance won't destroy Idris. So, the day Other Max sold the angel blood to Kyle and returned to the Other Timeline, nothing would've changed - (except maybe Knightstorm bloodline is there or something?). More on this later.

The Disneyland dream was completely random. I couldn't think of anything else lmao. But maybe it was because he's been watching. a lot of cartoons with David because they're excited for the baby (I can see them doing this).

PS - Max has always had the tattoo on his wrist (in lbaf). He got it on his hand because he wanted to remember David when he used magic (his left hand). You can read this scene in Max's short story in LBAF 3. I changed it into a tattoo over the heart in the aus because that made more sense.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

BPP,

TWO WORDS - PARK JIMIN!!

Look I know you're still processing what we've seen so far right now but I feel like you're the only one that can explain what it really means when a producer like PDogg says

"Park Jimin will end K-pop in 2023"

That is a statement! I mean no pressure, Jimin because he is definitely up to the task, but for that to be said by PDOGG! Please can you use your eloquence to break down fo us how much of a statement that really is in Kpop (or maybe I'm overrating the significance??)

We're down to hours and counting.

*

Ask 2: The new teaser yt short is even more insane than yesterdays?! How is this possiblr?! My hype is so real and my expectations are so high I’m actually scared of beinh disappointed and not liking the full song BPP 😭😭😭 This has never happened to me before ?!! How do I do this how will I cope 😭😭😭 JIMIN WHY ARE UOU SO GOOD AT THIS 😭😭

*

Ask 3: Someone sent you this ask ages ago - on why you don’t bias Jimin when he clearly is you find his visuals the best and you love his dance and his voice.

I’m going to ask again - BPP, are you ready to Bias Jimin now? 😄

But on a serious note, that itsy bitsy teaser is Jimin declaring war. The beat, the drums, the dancers stomping and the Jimin battle cry at the end. It’s a declaration that he is coming for us, not to dominate or conquer us (even though that is going to happen), but instead to make us see, to set US free.

Jimin knows what it means to be an idol. He knows how the Kpop stans are; and I don’t mean the internationally fans. No. I mean the locals, Japanese, Thai, Chinese…I mean, those who consume Kpop content way more than international (US/UK) fans do. He knows the restrictions of the industry. He knows how he is expected to be a certain way. He probably knows everything written about him, reads it, has internalised and battled it. Lived with it, cried about it.

Hence, I suspect this Album is a way to respond to those expectations, for those who will seek a deeper meaning/understanding to it. It his his way to Set Us (his fans, the audience, the people who consume Kpop content) free, From the preconceptions and perceptions we have of him, from the ideas we want to shove on him, from the lenses we see him through. He wants to show us his face, so that we can face him.

I suspect this is Jimin drawing his boundaries through his music.

*

Ask 4: 1) twitter com/jjimlove1013/status/1635659805653352448,,, Fudge! Park Jimin, you're unreal! Can't stop listening to the teaser. It's SO good. 2) I need to give a standing ovation to bts's commitment to dance and synchronization. The unimaginable amount of bs&t (lol) that must've costed them. The dancers in the teaser were ok but I couldn't help noticing their unsynchronized limbs and angles. Reminded me of the dancers in JK's Dreamers stage. Really, I'm in awe of bts every time.

*

Ask 5: Tu sais quoi, tu as toujours eu raison. Personne ne devrait sous estimé Jimin. Et cela se voit très bien durant ces dernières semaines. A dancer today said : the king is coming” et je te jure tout le monde devrait avoir peur.

*

Ask 6: Do you know what the date in the mv teaser or other mvs mean?

Like for Set Me Free teaser it says 2023.03.06 but it was released today and the mv won't be released until Friday.

Also, I live in those 32 seconds now.

Thank you.

***

Hi @ejassy and Anon(s),

Your link, Anon in ask 4.

You know, I don't do this often, but I am prepared to listen to Set Me Free Pt 2, in two states of being today - sober and not. Not to dull my senses but to split or fracture them. With this release, Jimin deserves to have our full attention, and every inch of my consciousness for the first few listens will be focused on Jimin.

I want to be completely and brutally mindfucked by Park Jimin. I'm expecting maximum damage to whatever ideas I've had of him till now. I need his voice of honey-coated serrated steel, of glass and velvet, to render me incapable of speech for 1.4 hours, at least.

@ejassy, it's out of character for PDogg to fanboy like that. That's all I can say, because it's not like he said something we don't already know.

"Park Jimin will end K-pop in 2023."

We know. He's fucking Jimin. The Park Jimin.

PDogg just lost control of his emotions for a sec. That's it.

And maybe, maybe the man is feeling a bit proud of himself. Proud to have created what already sounds like a masterpiece, with Jimin. Maybe it means he is proud of Jimin, proud to know and have worked with him till this point. Sometimes I think about the first promotional clips of FACE, of Jimin lounging about and working on the melody and lyrics, sometimes with PDogg.

(Killer moment for me is 0:44 btw)

*

The above footage includes scenes older than the past year. Which is to say, Jimin has been writing music for a long time. He's had experiences where he "...has internalised and battled it. Lived with it, cried about it." as you say Anon in ask 3. PDogg has been watching this process in Jimin for years, been present for a lot of it, and this album is the result of a relationship they've cultivated for a decade.

I've said before that I rate PDogg as a producer and enjoy his stylistic choices, with some exceptions. He's going to do an exceptional job in FACE, so good in fact that he believes nobody in the industry will beat it for the rest of the year.

And that's a ballsy thing to say. But it's more than doable, because the artist is Jimin.

And so, he might as well have been saying "water is wet."

Anon in ask 6, I don't know what those dates mean. I've seen situations where the date coincides with the release date, but most times that date on screen differs from the release date. I think it's possible for the artist to choose what date shows on screen, but I also think it could be linked to recording or intended distribution dates. But really I have no idea. If any of my followers know please say what it is in the replies.

*

Anon in ask 3, this was so well said:

"He knows the restrictions of the industry. He knows how he is expected to be a certain way. He probably knows everything written about him, reads it, has internalised and battled it. Lived with it, cried about it.

Hence, I suspect this Album is a way to respond to those expectations, for those who will seek a deeper meaning/understanding to it. It his his way to Set Us (his fans, the audience, the people who consume Kpop content) free, From the preconceptions and perceptions we have of him, from the ideas we want to shove on him, from the lenses we see him through. He wants to show us his face, so that we can face him.

I suspect this is Jimin drawing his boundaries through his music."

I agree with you. In this album he's going to describe the world through his eyes. Jimin is the Jimin of BTS - the biggest band in the world. And Jimin is nothing if not direct. That he's using a prison - the most severe and most universally understood representation of 'loss of freedom' - as the metaphor in Set Me Free Pt 2, is already the first indication he isn't here to play around. In the last 10 years Jimin has experienced a life, a world of changes, only a handful of people have ever experienced, and they have happened to someone with as interesting a temperament as his. This song and the rest of his album is a sonic expression of what that world looks like to him now.

It will be beautiful.

I so can't wait.

[voxofthevoid]

Holy. Fuck. Me.

Yuu, I saw this right after waking up a four-hour "nap" that was one of those who-am-I-where-am-I mini-comas, and trust me when I say I thought I was fucking hallucinating for a good minute.

All three chapters?! You're insane in the best and most beautiful way. I would genuinely commit first-degree murder for you. Thank you so much 😭💘

Putting my screaming under a cut too because it's gonna get Long.

I don't know where to start. You'd think I'd have gotten used to how good you are after what you drew for serpent tongue, but I'm blown the fuck away yet again. I just texted @nearalways an all-caps "HOW DOES SHE DO THIS, IT'S LITERALLY PERFECT EVERY TIME."

And it is. The way you bring these scenes to life is magical, not only because the art is gorgeous but also because you capture the tone of the scenes so, so well. The gestures, the postures, the expressions--you're a wizard with all of them.

The panel from Chapter 1 is so damn amazing. I can't believe you drew all of them, even Yaga, holy shit. And Yuuji. YUUJI. The entrance scene. I was inspired by Yuuta's entry in Vol. 0 and have been imagining a tweaked version of that, but from now on? This Is It; this art is all I'll think of. You've captured the "miasmic mindfuck" aspect of it impossibly well--the black shading, the monstrous phantom arms, the skulls and shadows in the background, the eyes. God, this is better than sex. I'm equally in love with Yuuji's bright, grinning face juxtaposed with the shadowy face to the side. Have I told you you're brilliant yet?

The two cover pieces from Chapter 2 are perfect. That's it, that's Them--bratty Satoru and clingy tree Gojou with an unfazed Yuuji. You got them down perfect. Baby!Gojou's pose and expression and adult!Gojou's little cheek squish are inspiring me to inflict greater violence on Gojou in general; this is 100% a compliment about your art, Yuu, because fictional violence is my typical response to finding a character pretty or inspiring 😂 But seriously, baby!Gojou looks straight out of the anime with that pose and face, and adult!Gojou's squishy, pouty face is so fucking cute, I can't. Also love Yuuji in that slacks+pants combo, and how the second picture shows off his full height.

Aaand then you took me right out with the Nanami panel. Shot to the heart, I'm dead now. The way you interpreted that scene with an image from past!Nanami and Yuuji, contrasted with teen!Nanami? I'm in love and also crying in the club. It's so beautiful and haunting. And then the sandwich scene!! I continue to love the amazing things you do with expressions--adult!Gojou's mean little grin, baby!Gojou being a pissy cat, and Yuuji being so damn cuddleable. Love it. I do have a soft spot for the final image of the two in Yuuji's lap though. Eerily accurate expressions strike again! Adult!Gojou's halfway to nirvana, baby!Gojou's in real danger of death via nosebleed, and Yuuji is Just So Done.

I don't have the words (I say, after having typed a mini essay) to tell you how perfect these all are. Thank you, Yuu; you're a gift 🥺

the way it follows you home, the stories i never told

My guy Vox once again graced us with lovely Goyuu fanfics, and the way it follows you home, the stories i never told, made me go FERAL.

Time travel? Two Gojou Satorus? Double affection for our sunshine Yuuji? Yuuji sandwich? What feels like possible continuation of (you'll whisper, serpent tongue) what you fear you have become???

FUCK.

I need to stop indulging my imagination too much. I should’ve been content with writing long-ass comments but noooooo, my brain goes “you gotta draw it”. DAMMIT VOX, YOU AND YOUR DELICIOUS WRITINGS HHHHHH

So… usually I should’ve picked a favourite scene that is within my drawing capability, but I just… love all three chapters??? So I made a questionable time investment? I can’t stop??? Help???

This is probably the most ambitious fanart project I’ve ever done so far. Fair enough, considering I might combust if I keep these welled-up emotions inside from reading Vox’s Goyuu fics. Fuck.

Fic info:

Title: the way it follows you home, the stories i never told

Author: @voxofthevoid

Pairing: YuuGoGo. Future!Yuuji, Future!Gojou, Teen!Gojou

(idk why I laugh writing YuuGoGo. I’m beyond help)

Currently, it is 3 chapters out of 8. And it’s gonna be NSFW chapter 4 onwards, so don’t forget to read the tags first, folks!

The drawings are under Read More, because I have lots of thoughts surrounding each chapter and drawings. It’ll be hella long if I didn’t hide it here. It was a mess down there. A combination of hours before, during, and after I read said fic. I’d say good luck finding the art among the sea of jumbled words but… you’ll find them easily. Don’t worry about it haha

SPOILERS FOR ALL 3 CHAPTERS! I highly recommend reading those first before diving into these drawings!

Also for the comics, read from right to left please!

From here on, I will be referring to the Future!Gojou as Gojou and the teenage one as Satoru.

Overall, drawing all these is fun! Really fun! This project pushed me quite hard, forcing me to test my limit (because I rarely draw this much back to back). Since this is a combination of drawings and comics, the coloring style will not be consistent. In a way, I want to try some brushes I never get to use, as well as try out my new graphic tablet. Drawing these got me giggling because I was finally able to let loose during line art. It's much easier to do so, and sometimes I just get to reread the fic and giggle to myself for the nth time.

CHAPTER 1:

Whooo. Whooooooooo—

Ok, ok, the premise is just that good. It intrigued me, fascinated me, and I just… oomph. I cannot refuse a Time Travel Yuuji Sandwich. Sign me up.

Honestly, there are two scenes that are just… a bit too clear in my mind when reading this chapter. That would be the one I drew above, and the other is when Yaga called Gojou to come outside of the class. I love, loooove how Vox wrote Satoru’s POV. And when Yuuji fucking giggles?

I lost it.

Can you imagine, drawing Yuuji grins, with shiny stuff, maybe some sunlight, just purely happy and indulging Gojou?

Help me, for I am drowning in my love and adoration for Yuuji.

Page 2 is an experiment on using harsh black as shading (kind of?). I really enjoyed colouring Yuuji, and drawing those buffalo skulls! I wish I can grasp the concept of contrast a bit better tho :v

CHAPTER 2:

This is probably the only chapter where I picture still images instead of comic panels. A bit like those cool chapter covers in mangas. The one I really, really want to draw is the scene with Satoru on the table. Can’t pass the opportunity to highlight Satoru being a brat, albeit a really cool brat.

Cool idea drawing always proves to be a challenge, because of course my artistic skill just so happens to be below the requirement. Thank you, Sketchfab, for the chair and desk’s perspective otherwise I’m screwed lmao

The second scene that I want to draw the most is this:

Gojou is one step away from climbing Yuuji. Also, I have a bit of a problem picturing a man pouting that makes him look crazy instead, so please have Gojou pouting adorably instead. Because, as Yuuji said (with love), Gojou is (also) a brat.

This is possibly my favorite art in this project, after Yuuji's in Chapter 1 page 2. It's clean because I don't have to draw background, and I was having a fun time drawing Yuuji. And Gojou's squishy cheek as well.

Oh, actually, there is a “manga” scene in this chapter. It’s when Yuuji said, “I love Satoru.”

I just—

AAAAAHHHHH YUUJIIIIIII YOU AND VOX ARE GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME. That secure relationship between Yuuji and Gojou? Satoru’s description of how Yuuji’s smile could blot out the sun??? Not me screaming 💀 I also see bits of hints of possible co-dependency, though I could be reading those wrong, but either way I’m good. Secure and possessive relationships are fun to consume hhhhhh

But yeah. There are too many wholesome Yuuji smiles in this fic, and I… I am not confident enough to draw genuine happiness. It’s too much for me ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

For this chapter, another reason why I chose these two scenes is just because I want to try and draw cover-worthy pictures of Yuuji and Satoru, and Yuuji and Gojou (cough)

CHAPTER 3:

We start the chapter with Nanamin. Ah, Nanamin. I forgot what his teen self looked like and was surprised to see his design again lmao

I want to draw Yuuji and Nanami scene because… I just want to, I guess. I have never drawn him before (Yaga as well) so that's an interesting challenge. I got two ideas on how I want to draw it. One is a bit painting-esque, and the other one is like another chapter cover. In the end, I chose the cover one because I want to emphasise the difference between teen!Nanami and the Nanami from Yuuji’s original timeline, and how the watch feels like a connection between the same (yet not) person. It’s a bittersweet feeling? In a way?

I’m not really good at explaining my intention ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

I love Yuuji’s answer to Nanami's question.

AND FINALLY.

A Yuuji SandwichTM scene.

And oh B O I do I love it. Have I told you I like every chapter? I probably have. But this one? Satoru’s curiosity, Yuuji’s on-brand self-deprecation, and Gojou come strolling down to show more of Yuuji to his mini-self. I want to draw this whole scene, from Gojou finding them, feeding Yuuji snacks, bitch-slapping Satoru into the backroom, to Yuuji growling. Them trying to hide a boner from Yuuji’s growl got me cackling so hard I LOVE IT 😭

I love it all. Please love Yuuji in my stead, Satoru and Satonyan :3

Oh! Also! 40-finger Yuuji sounds really, really cool! I’ll be happy with whatever Vox will give us in future chapters, but 40-finger Yuuji… possible scene with this timeline’s Sukuna… my god. The action! The drama! The bloodshed! One can only hope.

However, as much as I love that whole scene, it’s still too much for me :”) I’m still not yet confident in delivering the humour and action. Also my already-long drawing plan had my brain groaning in protest so I can’t push my luck :'D

When Gojou said "He looks sweet, but he's a bit of a beast", I kept picturing Yuuji staring innocently, but there was an edge to his look. As if the moment Satoru looks away, he will pounce. But in the end I just stick with innocent-looking Yuuji because I accidentally drew his eyes that way and I want to keep it in lol

Since Satoru points out how soft and cuddly Yuuji is, I also want to draw soft Yuuji :v

And the last one… is the last scene. For some reason, I read that both Gojou and Satoru share Yuuji’s lap and was having a frustrating yet fun time figuring out how it’s… physically possible, without having their butts on the ground because they both are not small at all. As I lined the art, I reread it again and… perhaps I read it wrong? Satoru is beside Yuuji, and not on his lap? So yeah, this one might be the least accurate, but hey, at least you can view it as a crack drawing or something :v

AAAANNNDDD I HAVE EXCEEDED TODAY’S BRAIN CAPACITY OF FORMING WORDS

Have I told you I love this fic?

…I probably have.

Have an amazing week (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ*

[absolutebl]

Why does every relationship in the HIStory series have to be a bit weird?? I just want to watch my BL and be happy that Taiwan has legalised gay marriage. I don’t want to think about the 12-year-age-gap, stepbrothers, VERY DUBIOUS consent relationship that is happening. How hard is it to write an at least semi-healthy relationship? 😭😭 Like, come on, if UWMA can get 90% of the way there without even trying, you can do a little bit of work.

Oh that’s an easy one. 

1. Country Connections

Taiwanese BL owes its narrative heritage to EXACTLY what you would expect: a combination of early Japanese live action yaoi and Chinese BL pre 2016. Dark troubling narratives full of dubious consent (well, rape) and obsession (to the point of kidnapping), also forget stepbrothers, they went straight into incest. Well, not straight. 

You know what I mean. It could be A LOT worse given the history of BL in the two countries most culturally impacting Taiwan. 

Thailand doesn’t have the same heritage. It’s BL comes from its own Y-novels (which were informed by yaoi but not as much as you’d think). It’s actually one of the BL industries most removed from the yaoi roots - and associated tropes. Also it’s produced so many BLs for so long now, it’s shifted away from what weak connections it did have even further. It’s had time and bandwidth to do so. 

Frankly I’m really grateful Taiwan gives us happy endings at all. We could be in for A LOT more HIStory 3: The BL That Shall Not Be Named. By rights we should still be getting darker stuff from them, given how young and small their BL industry is. 

They pretty much did a primitive streak on their BL evolution, and are way ahead of anything we’ve any right to expect. I certainly didn’t anticipate gems like We Best Love and Be Love In House: I Do, not to mention Papa & Daddy in one year. I mean I HOPED for them. But I thought it’d be a couple more years of HIStory 4′esk mindfucks first. 

2. Size & Writer Pool 

Of all the BL industries we talk about, Taiwan is the smallest. They have 22 BLs total. TOTAL. Thailand produced that number LAST YEAR alone. So give ‘em a chance to grow up a bit, they’ll get there. 

Also Taiwan doesn’t adapt from novels or mangas, not much anyway. Because they are TINY, they don’t have a yaoi or y-novel industry to pull from, and they don’t have the money to option from Japan’s vast array of offerings (sadly). So it means story is always going to be their weakest element. An industry low on writer talent falls quickly back into old-fashioned tropes. 

3. Taste 

Taiwan has a queer axe to grind and we love that but they combine it with a very specific story taste that is pretty old school so far as certain tropes are concerned, even as they let go of others under the weight of queer reality and at least our boys end up together 70% of the time.

Japan is likely to go a little dark and a little kinky with their romances (or really dark and/or really kinky). 

Korea is likely to go the purity root with slow burn low heat. 

Thailand is likely to beat the dead horse of strongly heterosexualized seme/uke even into something as enlightened as Lovely Writer. 

It’s many things, but also taste. Like popular music. Or what’s considered fashionable. 

Romance is about taste. Het or BL or truly queer. Cultural taste on screen is a reflection of what we find socially acceptable as masculine and feminine, as gay and straight, as romantic and sexy. In a drama we push those boundaries to make the narrative more exciting and edgy. There’s always going to be a slight test to see “what can we get away with?” Thailand likes to do this with trans characters, evil female archetypes, and punching down humor. Taiwan likes to push taboo (so does Japan), it’s their thing. 

As watchers sometimes we react better or worse to certain tropes, or categories of tropes. I happen to be deeply mad at Devil Judge right now because Korea is doing the pre-Feminist classic “strong & powerful women must be either hyper sexualized seductresses or bad mothers” and in both cases = evil. On the other hand, I don’t mind age gaps or stepbrothers. Age gaps I find kinda hot, to be honest, it’s the only het romance I regularly consume. 

All of which is to say, yeah the HIStory franchise is whackadoddle but ho boy is it hot about it. Or at the very least... to my taste. 

[varyagated]

independence day (1996) liveblog part 1

it’s the 4th of july in America which honestly creates mixed feelings for me. I love America, but it doesn’t so much love me, my nearest and dearest, or people like me. My family always watches one movie on the 4th, which is Independence Day (1996).

immediate thoughts on this movie:

I think this is a genuinely good movie that encapsulates 1990s America 

Will Smith, national treasure and publicly polyamorous/open which means a lot to me as a polyam person 

Jeff Goldblum, national treasure and playing a sad divorced environmentalist nerd 

Bill Pullman (hot)

all kinds of representation of women 

there is a golden retriever (lab?? idk)

aliens 

catchy lines you will repeat until you die

I’ve probably watched it 31 times or more in my life

Women rly used to wear makeup like this. It’s a look?!?! God the soft, brown, muted tones. I was taught if you wear a bold eye you can’t wear a bold lip. The hair is quintessential 1990s blowout too. I bet this woman knew exactly what her makeup color “season” was/is

whatever happened to curtains like that?? they only exist now if they are permanently dusty. Also Bill Pullman: still hot. That scratchy voice!

“What are you waiting for...my social security will expire, you’ll still be sitting there.” Jeff Goldblum’s Dad in this 🤣 also nothing more quintessential American than old people playing chess in the park by the NYC skyline

This movie also has another treasure Harvey Fierstein (great voice, voiced Yao in Mulan)

the other thing this movie rly succeeds at is showing all the different ways Americans live, like LA to trailers in rural CA to Washington DC to NYC

*aggressively hits item to fix it****

truly nothing more American than living in a trailer

another mainstay of American culture: unexamined alcoholism

babes that’s my hometown!

pls explain to my millennial ass how this look came back around (center part)

this chick is so hot and powerful. into it. I forgot she’s Jeff Goldblum’s ex (he’s still wearing her ring three years after they broke up)

alien spaceship darkness falling over LA

this kid is way too cute. The child actors who played in this are all grown up which I don’t know why this surprises me since they are only slightly older than me. The President’s daughter is also Mae Whitman which is an inexplicable mindfuck I never noticed

motifs in this movie: dolphins (the bottle of perfume). also lmao at the dialogue in this scene Will Smith asks “it’s an earthquake?” and Vivica A. Fox says “not even a 4 pointer go back to sleep” A++++

i s2g every disaster movie has the statue of liberty defiled or darkened in some way i love american iconography tbh

Will Smith so young in this Vivica A. Fox so pretty. Also motif continued: dolphin earrings

kiddo fighting aliens

motif: dolphins on left

extremely american images

adore how this First Lady looks, she could not look more “90s First Lady” esque

“Once again the LAPD is asking Los Angelinos not to fire their guns at the visitor spacecraft. You may inadvertently trigger an interstellar war.”

Jasmine’s wedding ring 😭

forgot there’s like an accidental gay “confusion” scene played for laughs but the witnessing guy just smiles puts his hands up and walks away...pretty ok tier for DADT era

tbc!!!

[lopez-richter-fangirl]

Final shows 😭

It’s always still bizarre seeing them in person but when Brian said hi as he was going in right after I watched him do the tcb stream that was a mindfuck moment 😂

Clark also said hi in the lobby he was so nice (it feels so stupid to say that because duh but they’re just all so nice 😭😭)

OKAY SO then Denise and Bob were talking to Amy at the merch stand right next to me and I’m not saying Denise was DELIBERATELY matching with her daughter but she was wearing a leopard print shirt knowing full well what Lauren’s costume was 🙃

And it got worse, they were sitting two tables in front of me and then Shashona and Alyssa were sitting at the table right in front and then Nick lang came (🥺) and then June and Amy sat with them too so you can imagine it makes it a lot harder to focus on the show 😂 It was so cute watching them take pics and videos (Denise particularly of her kids ofc 😭 And by that I mean not only Lauren and Joey during priceless but also Lauren on her own 🥺🥺). But Shashona did try to take a picture of Dylan with her flash on lmaoo. And her and Alyssa were both VIBING the whole time it was great

Lauren just was not doing well with wigs lmao, this time her party girl wig almost fell off and god her face was ADORABLE I love her

Then in priceless after Brian mentioned it I couldn’t not notice the thing he had going on with Joey I love those dumbasses. But I really had had enough of the hand on her stomach by that point. I think the high note got the loudest cheer yet though and god it’s just the most incredible thing. Also what was cute was when Dylan and James came through the back Dylan put his hands on Shashona’s shoulders 🥺 What was not cute and was actually awful was that the song made Bob and Denise cry but I’m fine I’m fine I’m fine

So then very last show I got front row 😭 And as I was remembering what parts happened where on the stage I was like oh FUCK I’m gonna be literally *inches* from Lauren so I was almost hyperventilating already lmao

Okay little fun thing every night in AJ’s preshow they’ve had Britney sing christmas or 80s songs replacing the lyrics with a christmas carol word or phrase and having people guess but the very last one last night was GOING BACK TO HOGWARTS and it took me a sec to recognise it and I was NOT the only one so that was very funny we’re bad starkid fans lmao

But yeah the Brian Lauren hug spin happened right in front of me I 😭😭 And you know your girl got video if it’s not on the digi tix and I’ve already watched it an embarrassing amount of times (I really didn’t get much else because I just wanted to enjoy the show but that was a NECESSITY)

And Brian H and Lo have the christmas present interlude (which is fucking hilarious btw but no spoilers even on this spoiler post lol) but that was when she was literally SO close to me in her sparkly party girl outfit and I dieddd, and getting to watch her dance that close too when she always looks like she’s having the time of her life?? 😭

Christmas electricity was really cute though, Lo was grinning directly at Clark and Brian and Joey did a little hand slap (which I think someone mentioned before?) and then Brian and Lo shared a little smile I love them

And priceless god I can’t even begin to describe how fucking in love they looked 😭 It was the closest I’d been since the first night and then I was just trying not to completely lose it but their faces 😭 And the whole number is just the fucking most perfect thing I’ve ever seen and watching them perform live together for the first time since they got engaged really was a dream 😭😭😭 But whatever the fuck they did this time on “this soil is rich” I did not need to see they left it in no doubt what they were going for with that stomach holding. I thiiink he might have forgotten to say honey this time though if so I guess 1/5 isn’t bad 🙄

They were being dumbasses again at curtain call but then 😭 Whoever mentioned us getting tin can fam excluding Corey CURSED me because they called him up on stage and Lo got SO fucking excited literally *jumping* and grabbing at him and hugging him I 😭 And he touched her shoulder as she left stage and then BRIAN stroked her back so all in all best and worst final thing to go out on 😭😭😭

Anyway the sadness hasn’t fully hit me yet and I think it probably will reliving it with the digital ticket next weekend but then I get to experience it with y’all and I can’t wait 🥺