#(i feel like some people become afraid to be creative because they fear it’s ‘not good enough’)

[curator-on-ao3]

Do you write multi-chapter fics in order or do you jump around? And if you do go in order, do you go back to revise earlier chapters as you go or are they pretty much ready to post once you move on to the next chapter?

I love this question, anon, thank you! ❤️

I write multi-chaps in order — which I don’t necessarily recommend because a scene I may be three chapters away from writing will sing and dance in my mind and we’re not there yet. So I will add key elements of that scene to my outline, which actually can be good in the long run because by the time I finally write the scene, the words can flow fairly easily because the scene has been in my mind for so long (with outline memory aids for specifics).

I know some people write out of order, and I’m glad that method works for them. For me, I need the linear nature in which the story will (presumably) be read to inform the writing. As always, though, the best way to write is the way that works for the writer.

In terms of revision, I revise constantly. Little stuff, big stuff. I need the whole story written and edited before posting even the first chapter (with one exception because I knew exactly where I was going and felt like I was going to explode if I didn’t start posting). For me, the revision process can help sharpen things like foreshadowing and key themes. I find revision deeply rewarding. It’s like — I built a home and now I get to buff the floors and straighten the address numbers and make sure the cookies in the oven are done just in time to invite in anyone who wants to share the home I built for whomever might want to be there.

[redwineandtarot]

your life 5 years from now (timeless)

hi! today we will take a look at how your life looks like 5 years from now. this is a timeless reading so whenever this find you, you can read it. we have free will, i am just reading energies so take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. i would love to hear your feedbacks <3

🥀paid readings🥀

Disclaimer: My readings do NOT replace any professional advice. Use your own judgment while making decisions. You have your own free will. Take everything I say light-heartedly. All of my readings are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES.

pick a pile

piles 1-2

3-4

i do not own these pictures

pile 1

In the next 5 years you will reap what you sow pile 1! I see amazing opportunities career wise. These opportunities will come to you because you are stepping out of your comfort zone and working hard for what you want. You will be stepping up your game and leading your life with proudness. You are action oriented for sure.

You may start doing the things you were afraid of before. Because you are in a more action-oriented mode, you will overcome those fears. At first you will do them while you are scared, but as time goes by you will overcome them.

I see such a confident person pile 1!

For a while you may have been on guard about love. This may have been because of a betrayal or not seeing a healthy relationship example (when you were a child etc.). I see that changing. A person will come who is going to change your outlook on love. They are very loving and giving. You may also do charity work with them. While you are action-oriented career wise, I see your lover coming to you. 

I talked a lot about material gains. However you are stepping up your game also spiritual-wise. I said you will reap what you sow. You will and manifesting them will help you get them. Spirit is suggesting you to start manifesting if you don't already. You could do a vision board etc. Whatever feels right to you.

Your intuition will be heightened, like A LOT. Because the card to represent you is the MYSTIC. You will be one with the divine.

At the end of this 5 year period, you will have gone through a massive change. This will lead you to be more confident and be more accepting of yourself. I see you living an authentic life. This massive change will also have an impact on your spirituality.

I talked about you being action oriented, but I still see you preserving your feminine side. You will, thus, have a great balance of feminine-masculine energies, material-spiritual world etc. 

Overall I see you quite content with your life, pile 1.

The area of life going through the most transformation: 6th house What energy you will be in: Taurus Your uranus placement will be guiding for you in the next 5 years.

thank you for reading💕

pile 2

This may be literal or metaphorical depending on your situation:

I see someone’s heart getting broken, or going through something hard. However instead of this wrecking them completely, they rise up stronger than ever. This person I am seeing, uses this experience to create a masterpiece of some sort. To let people know that they are not the only ones going through this. Let them help with their sorrow. And this creation makes the wheels turn: they become someone people look up to, they achieve great success.

The first thing I wanna say is: You will get what you deserve pile2.  

You may have gone through something in the past or recently that affects you now. If not (please do not be scared) I see you going through something heavy emotionally. This thing depends from person to person. You are/will be victimizing yourself a lot. However when you come out of this energy, the real deal will begin. Like I said in the intro; this will inspire you to do something creative, it doesn't have to be related to art/music but for most of you it is. If it's not related to art/music, it may be becoming a psychologist etc.  

From this point on you will have regained your trust in the universe and in yourself. You will start doing whatever this is. For some of you, this is a childhood dream. (This is a confirmation for you to go for it.) Just this heartbreak inspires you to take action on this dream. Whatever you do, your path/creations will help people in some way. And as a result you will gain great success. Jupiter will bless you with happiness and abundance. Because you will be taking responsibility for yourself and will surrender to the divine. 

Spirit again and again tells me that you need to have faith in your dreams, they are coming true in the next 5 years as long as you take responsibility and trust the universe. You just need to be patient.

Believe in yourself pile 2, because me and the spirit really do.

The area of life going through the most transformation: 1st house What energy you will be in: Capricorn Your venus placement will be guiding for you in the next 5 years.

thank you for reading💕

pile 3

Your different aspects find life, pile 3. I see you as a multi talented/multi faceted person and all of your versions are blossoming 5 years from now. You are acknowledging your different versions as a person, and nourishing them throughout these 5 years and in the end these different aspects of you will shine brightly together, I see.

You are also tackling more than one job/hobby at once. Maybe you have a main job and a side job/passion project. Or just lots of hobbies. However you are working hard in general. But this is not just a “work to work” thing. You really do enjoy the things you do. I see you living an authentic life. You probably have lots of goals and are working hard to achieve them. By the end of 5 years you will have achieved great things however after these 5 years I see even BETTER blessings coming your way. It’s like you're at the verge of a BIG breakthrough.

I see you financially well off. However you do not stop. You still try to find ways to make more money and better yourself. I see you as an ambitious person.

If you haven't found it yet, you will find your “personal calling”. Or if you have that sort of thing, you will find other things that will light your soul up. Luck will be on your side throughout these 5 years.

I also see you doing shadow work and healing the deep wounds you have inside. (For some, especially regarding money. Maybe some of you struggle(d) from being envious of financially well off people. ) Whatever it is, you are healing.

You are so grateful for the life you are living. I see you quite content with your life. You are emotionally fulfilled. A lot will happen in these 5 years.

You will find a great balance of giving-receiving, moving-resting, planning-accepting etc. You will listen to your soul and body more as well as the universe.

The area of life going through the most transformation: 7th house What energy you will be in: Leo Your north node placement will be guiding for you in the next 5 years.

thank you for reading💕

pile 4

First of all, I see that you have achieved a great balance in your life. You may be lacking some balance regarding an aspect of your life. I see that resolving in the next five years. Also an issue regarding your personal life. That will resolve too, whether it is connected to your balance or not. 

You will realize your real potential and take the reins. I suggest you to look up your south and north nodes because they will help you get to know yourself more. You will be showing up to the world as your authentic self. I am not meaning that every secret of your will be on display but you are not people pleasing etc. On the contrary you are keeping your secrets and are working in silence. Yes, this transformation will be shocking to most of the people because you won't be telling most of the people/anyone. For example you may want to start a dance class, you will go there in silence and when people see how well you dance after a while they will be shocked because you haven't told them. 

You are not shying away from challenges, pile 4. I see you as a brave person. And I think that’s what makes this transformation bigger and more impactful.

Prior to transforming (or at the beginning), you will go on maybe a hermit mode? You will get all philosophical and better yourself regarding knowledge of any kind. I see you working hard.

You are also standing firm on your ground. When a situation arises, you defend yourself if you know that you're right. I also see this as defending your own life path. I am not saying everybody will be against you or supporting you but if someone talks negatively to you, this won't bother you. Because you are already proud of yourself. So you defend yourself firmly.

A love interest or (mostly) a soulmate will come into your life. You will probably not see this coming but they are coming with so much love and things to offer. For the ones in a committed relationship (and don't see themselves breaking up) this may be about not losing the love and compassion to each other and maybe even taking the next step.  For example if you are in a relationship, your partner may propose to you or you can get engaged etc. 

You overall will be so happy about the life you are living, pile 4.

The area of life going through the most transformation: 8th house What energy you will be in: Pisces Your sun placement will be guiding for you in the next 5 years.

thank you for reading💕

[deacons-wig]

I'd prefer if we never got to see the origin of Vault Boy and Vault Tec's branding in the same way I'd rather not get a canon answer of who started the War or how. That's the point of War Never Changes.

Vault Boy is a sinister figure in his cheerful embrace of Armageddon. Giving the Vault Tec brand a face and a name and a backstory feels so unimportant to what is actually interesting about Fallout. What's important to me is the big picture pre war, and the details of what comes after.

What is interesting to me is exploring how propaganda is designed to convince people how close they are to annihilation--or homelessness, unemployment, obscurity, or being The Other and therefore destined to suffer--in hell, in oppressions, being ostracized. Honestly insert any sort of marginalization or suffering here. Crony capitalism uses propaganda to market products designed to manipulate people into buying distance between themselves and that annihilation. Putting themselves "behind the thumb" of Vault Boy, so to speak. Buying a lifestyle. Vault Boy does it with a wink and a smile, inviting those who can afford it to buy their way to safety while using capital and fear to perpetuate the cycle. I don't need the specifics to understand this.

Some ghoulnaysis below the cut:

I'll admit, my initial reaction to pre-war Ghoulgins being the inspiration for Vault Boy was funny! Mr. Cooper Howard, washed up actor experiencing an existential crisis being shoehorned into corporate propaganda that then haunts him for the next 200+ years? Selling manifest destiny, racism, the Rugged Individual, the revisionist history that cowboys were a) white and b) more than a brief footnote in the history of the colonization of North America's west. The commodification of entertainers/creatives/public figures. Selling identities to be packaged into a product that will outlive them? Only to have that person live alongside that role they regret (?) playing... kinda tasty, if we have to give Vault Boy a backstory, though I didn't get a clear sense of his actual feelings about being used as a propaganda guy which I think is a failure of the show to commit to the narrative they set up, which happens with a lot of the show's (lack of) engagement with Fallout's larger themes anyway.

But The Ghoul (stupid name!!! weird and boring choice!!!) is just such an uncompelling and repellent character to me. I love a good bad guy or even anti-hero, but honestly he lacks any interiority. He's an evil karma character (eats people, waterboards and mutilates people, sells people to organ harvesters...like? that literally makes you evil in the games...) but the narrative pushes him as an antihero or someone with gray morality because he what..."likes" dogs? And isn't as decayed or unsettling looking as other ghouls (implying handsome=good or interesting). People aren't afraid of him because he is a ghoul, they're afraid of him because he's evil and will hurt them! Sometimes for no reason! I see the callback to the director telling him to shoot his co-star and Cooper saying he's "the good guy," but is that why he becomes so fucking evil post war? Really?

I don't know why he does what he does other than...the world sucked before and sucks now so he might as well represent the basest of human behavior? That seems to be the thesis of the show--unless kindness and community is engendered (by the vaults, by Management, by a civic government, by corporations) people will descend into chaos.

So why have this poorly executed anti-hero be the origin of Vault Boy? What are the narrative choices being made here? Is it just Rule of Cool?

Personally I would like a pathetic, rotting wet cat of a ghoul, some sort of carved out husk of a washed up movie star either trying to relive his glory days, or avoid them--having given up hope of finding his family after 200 years--being dragged into Lucy's orbit and being constantly reminded of his Vault Boy fame, that she is a walking Vault Girl with her Okey Dokey's and Golden Rule. He'd be a joke, a footnote of the old world. He'd be mean and snarky, even unpredictable and uncooperative--have a public persona of friendly curiosity and a private, cynical one.

Pathetic Ghoulgins would remind audiences of the cost of capitalism and imperialism without resorting to the thesis that war never changes means that people are inherently cruel and will resort to violence, rather than existent corporate and political power structures intentionally create the conditions in which people accept perpetual cycles of exploitation and harm for the sake of their own safety and comfort, despite knowing the cost of maintaining the status quo, and not seeing or believing that distance between the status quo and total annihilation is measured by the smiling thumbs up of a cartoon mascot.

I'm sure there are other ways The Ghoul could have been a successful character as well but.... That's satire. That's interesting. That's Fallout.

[n3xii]

How do people see you vs how you see yourself

This pick a card reading explores how you see yourself vs how others view you. I will also be giving guided advice from the cards on how to be your most authentic self, pls enjoy. To tip my cashapp is sarahx2x, my paypal is teahuk, for personal readings check my pinned post 《♡》

Pile one

How you see yourself -

You struggle with identity and knowing who you are, so when it comes to how you percieve yourself you're a bit confused and even anxious. You see yourself as a mystery, that there's missing parts of you that you can't access. You feel like you're an incomplete puzzle, but pile one you need to know that you're whole as you are. Your identity is being subtly revealed to you overtime and you're slowly learning who you are. Fear and illusion has been gatekeeping key aspects of who you are making you feel incomplete and scared to be yourself, and you're in the process of confronting those fears so that you can see who you truly are. Other people's projections may be in thr mix here as well and confusing you even more. This is a time to tune out from what others have to say about who you are. You may feel confused and even afraid to look in the mirror, you may feel dissociated from the reflection you see, but overtime you're gonna come to love yourself. those fears and illusions you've had about yourself are gonna be the things you embrace wholeheartedly. You're not broken or bad, your heart is pure and you're just finding your way through the darkness, I can't wait for you to meet yourself.

How others see you-

You may not realize it, but others see that you're bondaged to a sense of self that isn't who you really are. They see you as a victim of your own fears and illusions, or even a victim of the narrow mindsets of other people. They feel you are trapped under pressure or an invisible prison that keeps you from expressing who you are. I feel that these people love you, they want you to see who you really are and embrace your uniqueness. They earnestly hate to see you be fully controlled like a puppet to whatever it is that keeps you from being yourself. They want to help you but sometimes don't know how. They know deep down that this is an internal journey that you have to complete and that it's ultimately none of their buisness to tell you who you are. They do care about you though, and can't wait to support you in your journey.

How you can embrace your authenticity-

You embrace your authenticity by embracing your passion. Your passion is gonna strike you like lightening and give you a jolt of courage, inspiration and a little bit of insanity. It's gonna expose and eliminate any fear your currently have. You're letting illusions and false perceptions hold you back from your raw, creative power. Through embracing what lights your heart up, you will overcome previous blockages. You will find yourself in the heat of what you earnestly enjoy in life, let passion reveal itself to you overtime especially if you don't know what it is that you love. You will know, and when you know you will be released from the self imposed illusions of identity.

Pile two

How you see yourself-

You like to demonize yourself don't you! But i think its because others have. You have demonized yourself to the point that have become the villain in your own mind, and this is partly because other people have done this to you, either way you are ciritcal and quite cruel to yourself. You may feel like you've taken on the identity of the villain, you see yourself as the antagonist and that there's nothing you can do to redefine your reputation. The way other people react to you and treat you gives you the impression that you're some kind of adversary, but in reality you're not coddling people with fake kindness.

How others see you-

Others see you as a rival in some sense. I'm seeing slot of people compare themselves to you alot, there's something about you that inspires others to step up their game. But some may be in a unrequited conflict with you as well. You make people feel as if they're enough because there's something about you that others admire but feel is missing in themselves. You have qualities and characteristics others want to have but don't. They see you as a rival, they see you as someone who is uniquely set apart from the rest.

How you can embrace your most authentic self-

Difficult transitions are trials that feel unbearable in the moment but serve us longterm. Embrace change. Be open to receiving help and support from the universe and from your spirit guides. You're crossing passages and encountering new mindsets and this in turn challenges you to change the way you think, so be progressive. Don't hold onto old thought patterns. You don't have to cling to old ways of thinking. Sit down right now and make a list of beliefs you have about yourself and others that you feel is old and tired. Be honest and thoughtful. Then rip the paper and mentally commit to leaving those ideas behind. Old beliefs weigh us down, we don't need to carry that old luggage with us into new cycles. As you let old ideas fall away you will encounter ideas and beliefs that feel more authentic to who you are.

Pile three

How you see yourself

Like pile two, you are very hard on yourselves. You have demonized yourself but in a different way than pile two- you have attached yourself to limiting beliefs and ideas that hold you back from utlizing your full potential. You've identified yourself with fears, insecurity and victim hood. You see yourself as powerless and under the tutelage of situations people or circumstances. You've essentially given power to everything but yourself.

How others see you

It's funny because others see all your potiental. They see all your talents, skills, and willpower and they can even envision you directing that will in the right places in their mind. But you don't. You let other people and situations decide who you are and what you're gonna do. People earnestly see you with all your potential, and wish you saw the same in yourself. I'm seeing people be like "if I could do that I would be set for life" meaning people see something in you that they wish they had, because if they had it they think they would know what to do with that talent. They see you as someone with so much willpower and natural skill, what's stopping you from seeing these qualities in yourself? What resources aren't you using? For some of you, others see you as someone with the perfect resources to make shit happen. Whether you have the talent, the money, the familial support or even the beauty. You're sitting here thinking that you're not able to be who you want to be and achieve your desires but others are wishing they had what you had. Appreciate your resources no matter how thay may manifest in your life, and have an idea of how to use them.

How to embrace your authentic self-

Remember who you used to be and honor that person. Celebrate how far you've come. You've achieved alot whether you regonize it or not. Make a list of everything you've achieved in the past few years, big or small. Then purposely do something nice for yourself. You don't realize how far you've come, you really don't. Sometimes to see our full potential we have to see how far we've made it. And sometimes spirit wants us to celebrate our wins (big or small) so that we can fully appreciate the next chapter we're gonna experience. Spirit wants you to see everything you've accomplished despite whatever circumstances you've faced in the past, because you're currently allowing a current circumstance direct the path you're on. Spirit just wants you to see all of your accomplishments in the context of the present moment because your past is your inspiration. You've come along way.

[dootznbootz]

Hi, what do you think about epic the musical as an Odyssey fan? Just curious

As an Epic the musical fan, I LOVE IT! Everyone's so talented and I love the music style!!! It's super fun and creative and it's amazing that Jay basically writes it all himself!

As an Odyssey fan... It's INCREDIBLY different. To the point where it's more "Odyssey inspired" than the actual Odyssey. But that's the thing. I wouldn't say Jay WANTS it to be word for word Odyssey and I DO think that'd be...kind of hard to do? Especially for Modern day.

It still has most of the "spirit" of the Odyssey though I feel like which is SUPER important. I'm saddened that very few adaptations really "balance" Odysseus' assholery and "goodness". I love "shithead Odysseus" but personally, I'm happy as long as an adaptation keeps to a "family man who wants to go home" for the most part :D (I really fucking hate the whole "Odysseus! The clever, swashbuckling hero who gets all the babes! ...He has a family?!" bullshit. That's very much not him. (He likes shiny things, yes but that's it)

More personal rambles below :D

I think it's interesting that Polites in Epic is more "peaceful" when in the Odyssey, he's called "captain of armies". And the fact he's killed right away when he was one of the last men alive.

Also Odysseus' and Eurylochus' friendship! I think it's sweet in the musical while in the Odyssey, it's quite tense. It gets more and more tense in Epic later on obviously but in the odyssey, it's been tense for a WHILE. Also!

Shout out to Armando Julian! Eurylochus' actor! I see a lot of people talk about Polites, Poseidon, Circe, and Hermes and they get a lot of fanart and love with their songs (rightfully so, ofc!!!) but Armando is really talented and people really sleep on Luck Runs Out! I'm about to become a vocal nerd for a moment. He's got a wonderful vibrato! I really love how he sings "feed" during Full Speed Ahead and "Captain, please" during Remember Them for example. His voice really fits with "speaking on behalf of the crew".

I know most people have a lot of feelings with the Circe Saga but I think that Jay did a great job considering... everything. Book 10 and 12 of the Odyssey are very complicated and I don't blame Jay for not wanting to delve into EVERYTHING with that. Odyssey Odysseus gets SA'd twice and while "I'm Not Sorry for Loving You" makes me worry, I really do think Jay will pull through with how fucked up Calypso's situation while still not having the graphic scenes in the Odyssey. It would be very hard to not only have what was basically an exchange for his men to be turned back to humans but if he interprets it happening throughout the entire year like some readers do, then that's really hard. :'D To truly portray Odysseus' fear of Circe while still having her be morally gray. As she very likely didn't mean Odysseus harm after a certain point but he was still afraid regardless.

Not only trying to not have such disturbing stuff shown in his musical but also, I think Jay was possibly trying to be considerate of Madeline Miller's Circe fans while still trying to show Odysseus discomfort and distress???? 😅 Sounds weird but like, as soon as I heard Circe talking about the nymphs being like her daughters and that she protects them, I thought that. That book is HUGE and I'm sure that many fans of it don't necessarily want to see Circe's "I do whatever I want. I don't need a reason. Woe, Oink be upon ye." as the most likely reason they were turned into pigs in the Odyssey is that ODYSSEUS is associated with them (the boar scar, the metaphors when talking about him in the Iliad, his trusted Swineherd Eumeaus, BOAR TUSK HELMET. Like, that's kind of the animal that represents Odysseus. (even when a spear pierces through a boar's hide, it'll STILL charge as they're that ferocious and determined...Just like Odysseus, a man who should be dead but isn't because of his will to go home. Homer didn't write them being turned into pigs necessarily as a "Men are pigs" thing.

I think the modern shift in how the situation seen today and other media of the Odyssey is why he wrote the songs he did. And considering it all? He did a good job navigating it. I'm very happy with the results!

I have more thoughts probably but those have been stewing in my brain for a while :D I definitely look forward to the next sagas!

[audistorium]

How I Even Got Here: A Letter from Lemon to Hopeful Creatives

This is going to be a lot. But maybe that's why we(I) made a tumblr. This is a place stories like these can be told.

Four months ago I was not a showrunner.

Four months ago I had no idea what to do.

Four months ago I had little to no friends in Audio Drama as a whole. There were a small handful of twitter people I knew, and I was a ghost in a few discords because I was afraid to ask anyone anything. But.. I was mostly riding solo.

I spent several years learning nothing but sound design after becoming completely enthralled by The Sandman. Shortly after I found SCP Archives and indie Audio Dramas that blew my mind.

Yet even with all that time making soundscapes and learning the intricacies of sound design under my belt, I still felt that gnawing imposter syndrome of creating a show. I've now learned this is pretty widespread in AD creators. Funny how that works, isn't it?

Who was I? Some broke kid from Arkansas that's fascinated by productions of sound and theatre of the mind? A less than well known comedian that wanted to tell the weird tales that manifest from nothing in my brain? I guess in the end that didn't really matter to me. I wanted to tell the scary stories that popped into my head and combine them with later episodes that tell funny ones. An interweaving web that I couldn't get out of my head until I brought it to life.

I talk about the night I uploaded my first episode a lot. My hands were shaking. My heart was nearly beating out of my chest and my face was buried in my palms for a while. I ended up saying "Fuck it." and hit upload. I sat there for a while just watching the episode pop up on different platforms one by one.

There it was. The thing I built up and wrote and worked my ass off for so long for. "What now?" I wondered.

I sat there for an hour kind of looking at the Spotify cover art that had been done well over a year before this point. Yet somehow it felt more real now. More tangible. This was something I could hold in my hands now and say I created. That was an unreal feeling. It was even more mind bending to think that this was only the start of the journey.

I got on Twitter that night and posted about it. It did not take long for someone to reach out. That person was Jesse Hall. Someone who showed me enough kindness to say all of these things that spelled out to me: "Hey, there are communities out there of people that want you to keep making these"

I ended up finding my home, The Liminal Lands discord. A show hiding out in a discord for another show. The thing is, though..

There really WAS this sense of community in it.

Since that point I have been in shows that previously I was only a fan of. I have met people that have been doing this for like 10+ years that treat me as a peer. I have other friends now that are also new showrunners.

I've been asked to be the sound designer in two different productions that are aiming for Tribeca. How nuts is that?

While it does mean my own show has to wait a second, this is incredible that people actually want to involve me at such a level when I feel like the biggest imposter in the room.

It has not been an easy past four months. Not even remotely. I wrote, voiced and sound designed episode 2: Lemonal in 24 hours because I felt like I needed to tell that story. It was one that was very personal. I've been able to share experiences of helplessness, death and fear. But also personal growth.

Soon, of my own humor.

I can put all of myself into this and I never have any intention of stopping that.

Four months later, I am a showrunner. I am the writer, sound designer and often one of the voice actors in my own show.

Four months later, I am confident in what I am capable of, and I am extremely proud of what I've been able to do because so many caring people pushed me and told me that I can do this. That If I stop punishing myself and telling myself my work is bad, I'll learn to love it more. So I did.

Four months later, I have friends that I would not trade for anything in the world and I think that things are only going up from here.

If you stumble across this as a hopeful creative, and you're not certain that you can accomplish what you want.. Well. Look at me.

I had nothing and no one. Our very small budget got us 3 covers and published. Good enough.

Now I have people that care enough to make me better every day. People that just want to be involved in what I made. That is extremely cool, and nowwww, every time I make something new I improve. I couldn't ask for anything better.

Take the leap. People will help you. People will support you.

I promise.

[vanillaxoshi]

Boom badabim bada pow

Welcome to septuplet au! Also now called injuries matter au

Where i make the elements into siblings but despite this being done but a bunch of people let me make this my way or-

Maybe a similar way ig

What you see above is Cahaya and daun

There aint no way Cahaya will become just fine after being hit on the head and the abdomen or gut by a giant hammer and flew thhrough metal floors? Ceilings? (I know this happened to boi but dont drag him into this. this is also a septuplet au he aint included but dont u dare get ideas👹👹👹)

And he got thrown to space twice, very high or low temperature causes dead cells and stuff (welcome decayed skin)

So- yeah, he got into a longer coma so to speak, perhaps the actual logic into this is death but lets not get into that and just do 2-3 months folks

According to google said symptoms for frontal lobe damage are:

Weakness on one side of the body or one side of the face, Falling, Inability to solve problems or organize tasks, Reduced creativity, Impaired judgment, Reduced sense of taste or smell, Depression, Difficulty controlling emotions, Changes in behavior, Low motivation, Poor attention span, being easily distracted, Reduced or increased sexual interest, Odd sexual habits, Impulsive or risky behavior, Trouble with communication

And vocal chords get damaged with cold temperature so-

Kk, hes not completely incapable as he heals overtime(note: not completely), but trauma with the dark :> oh how will that help if he doesnt sleep well :)

(he uses sign language if he needs to stop speaking)

ALRIGHT moving on to air

Dude got his arm melted off by roktaroka i think thats his name, which very much hurt because lava, is still slow, which meant it was slow and painful, and with it being put on ice immediately (yes this situation summoned ais) it left quite a huge mark

And he also cant keep the ice hand for so long so bros ambidextrous just uses left the most now, might have trauma from long distance attacks and perhaps hot temperatures, so you could say api is trying his best for air and that goes the same for air to api

LETS GO DAUN

Yes he gains a type of inferiority complex so he has to be included and does his best, but not only that, he gains lightning scars from kirana, on his hands, so he has trouble controlling those hands

They will randomly end up shaking sometimes, and randomly drop as in become paralyze, this resulted to a lot of things to become broken, and this is where daun feels bad for gaining this problem, and at times might hurt like theres still lightning striking him

OF COURSE petir feels bad and blames himself for getting caught like that haha-

Bro also got caught or kidnapped three times he blames himself for repeating that situation a lot.

ANGIN well, i know the fandom makes him love yaya's cookies, but imma be honest here, those things basically drugged him into drugging everyone, he for sure gained fear of those cookies. That made him out of it

Buuuuut what if as well he has a temptation to eat it at times, despite his whole mind not wanting to, so when he does end up eating it he becomes nauseous and vomits :)

API doesnt like seeing fear in peoples faces but that never washes away bc of his anger issues that causes people to be afraid so lets go low self esteem-

Tanah wants his brothers to be more better so thats why he shoves all responsibility onto himself but that also causes trauma!!!

Hes so afraid of losing them that he became very strict which causes to some arguments but he also tries his very best to look tough and be more capable, but there are times where its obvious like with movie 2, api and air try their best to help him despite him pushing them away and being in denial. Gopal was the one who did end up calming everyone down

Angin is the one who sees him always and is always the one who conforts him

Petir feels even more down knowing that hes the oldest and that he should be the one to take that burden of responsibility.

And yeah i might add more but who knows

[venus-vampire]

𝙿𝙰𝙲: 𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚊𝚗 𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚐𝚢?

Tarot collaboration with @daarlingdatura

From left to right: pile 1, pile 2 and pile 3.

𝔓𝔦𝔩𝔢 1

This pile could struggle with shoving themselves into societal molds and boxes in order to have some sense of normalcy. They could feel like from a young age the ephemeral world has harassed them, you could be somewhat averse to the idea that you are psychic. You need to let go of societal standards and start using your gifts. It doesn't have to be for other people and can be solely for you. You might pride yourself on your practicality but you are burying your divine gifts in the process. Not everything is rational, that's just life. You might've been seen as bizarre or weird as children. You need to get in touch with your past and let go of the need to control. I feel like you guys get lost in details. By allowing your thoughts and feelings to flow freely you can begin to become more in tune with your venusian enery. I'm also envisioning laughter, so it could be like playing and joking around and expressing joy is part of it too. Get in touch with the element of water, releasing fear of your shadow self and flaws will really do wonders for your self expression. Like once you get rid of the idea that you're not allowed to fail or make mistakes you'll be golden. Stop depending on others to lead or guide you as well. Realize that you are the authority figure and your authenticity is your guide. don't be scared your intuition will do just fine

Pile 1, do you like pastel colors? Clothes with light colors? I feel like y'all have a water Venus (or Venus in a water house) but have troubles tapping into that venusian energy. Y'all may have had multiple incidents in which y'all chose not to listen to your intuition and gut feeling, only to realize it was true in the end.

the high priestess, the devil, the world  // 10 of pentacles, 4 of swords, 3 of wands // the magician, 6 of swords, the hierophant

𝔓𝔦𝔩𝔢 2

This is a beautiful pull honestly. To connect with your venusian side you need to connect directly to your Venus and femininity, pile 2. Connect to your inner creativity, how you nurture yourself, how you empress your feminine energy.  What does femininity mean to you? Don't be afraid to connect with others, have a self care day or spending money on something that you value. You can also try to connect with your venusian side dancing and listening to music that you enjoy, even if others find it weird. You are blind to the beauty within yourself, everyone has a venusian, loving side. You might protect your energy by putting shield around you because you were betrayed in the past, but emotions and feelings are an important side of any relationship. You need to learn to trust people and share how you feel, especially your friends and family. However, keep an eye on who you're letting inside and don't project your expectations on other people because you will end up feeling disappointed. Think who really deserves your time, energy and a spot in your life.

the empress, the lovers, knight of swords // 8 of cups, page of cups, the king of cups

𝔓𝔦𝔩𝔢 3

There could be a specific person or group of people in this pile that are hooked up on someone that doesn't love or like them back. I feel like getting rid of this person will be a new and beautiful journey for you. You are going to be in a long moment of solitude and it's going to bring out your inner and outer beauty. You're going to learn to control your thoughts and emotions and put the right energy and manifestations out there to bring in your desired reality. You could lose some friends or have some kind of debacle but I think people will support you from the sidelines and see the truth even if they might not say it out loud. Take your leave and walk away from these toxic spaces. I feel that this group is very multitalented and outgoing and can be a little too dependent on how others view them. By standing in your power and truth and cutting out the shitty people from your life you will thrive. You also need to stop trying to get the attention of people in passive ways. I feel like you need to be more forthright and let your actions speak for themselves. Good luck pile 3.

the fool, the hermit, the magician // the knight of wands, queen of pentacles, the ace of swords

[theambitiouswoman]

Hi sweetheart <3

I’m having a bit of a mental dilemma at the moment...when I was a kid, I thought conformity was key and really let my shyness sit in the forefront for most of my life, thinking that was what my family and society wanted from me.

But now that I'm in my early 20's and have to make a career decision I can't push this feeling down any further. I know now that I'm meant to live my life more publicly and really go for things creatively and in the entertainment field. It feels completely undeniable that I really do LOVE the spotlight, and the right place for me is in entertainment - though I'm too embarrassed to act on it. How do I become comfortable with truly being seen...whilst also feeling my loved ones judging me for it? 

Sending all my love xoxo

Hi babygirl 💞

It is great that you've realized your passion! It seems like you are ready to embrace it, but are worried about how your loved ones will react because they might have different ideas? Embracing your true self and pursuing your dreams is a brave step. The key is to first accept and love yourself for who you are and what you want.

Talk to your loved ones honestly about your dreams and why they make you happy. They may come to understand and support your dreams, especially when they see your dedication and happiness. You may feel guilty for disappointing them. You may still have some doubts because it goes against everything you were taught to believe. Self doubt, family expectations, fear of judgement, risks.. are all normal feelings when we are venturing into something new and different and really creating a life for ourself. Like I said, pursuing your dreams takes courage and we will always have these mental hurdles to overcome on the way. But we have to want things so much, that our fear doesn't matter.

Getting comfortable with being seen, especially in careers like entertainment, can take time. Start by accepting and liking yourself for who you are, including your desire for attention. Try to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Build up your confidence by practicing and learning more about what you love to do. You can begin with smaller audiences and gradually work your way up. It's important to remember that everyone starts off as a beginner and everyone makes mistakes. Just put yourself out there. Do not be afraid to be your authentic self. You can't live your life for other people.

Follow your heart <3

[loveemagicpeace]

⚡️Saturn & Fear⚡️

⚡️Saturn in 1st house-You may often fear new beginnings, taking initiative in your life, or asserting yourself as you would like.They may feel inhibited, censored by the outside world or an inner critic and fear of being judged by others for your appearance,character and showing who you really are. Fear of losing yourself. Success and ease can come later in life as the person gains more confidence and becomes more and more comfortable in their own skin. Don't be afraid to show who you are, because in reality you are a very exceptional and talented person.

🌨Saturn in 2nd house-fear of losing money, material things. Fear of investing money in something you are not sure about, fear of lending money to others. Maybe a fear of certain foods or too loud music. Also fear of financial instability. But as you relax that fear, you find joy in sharing what you've created and being at peace with what you've manifested in life.

🫧Saturn in 3rd house-fear of speaking and saying your opinion. Fear of self-expression. Fear that others will condemn what you say or make fun of it. You can also be afraid that people will not hear you (what you want to say or present to people in general). That something you have been creating for a long time will not be seen. Fear of cars or speeding. Your speech is strong and good, do not let silence overwhelm you. Trust your mind and voice more.

🌧Saturn in 4th house-fear of change, changing environment or home. Fear of not being safe enough , unwanted and all alone in the world.Maybe fear of losing parents or mother. Maybe the fear of separating from your family. Certain fears may exist regarding the ability to succeed and thrive on their own. Fear of the unknown and fear of change can hold them back and reliance upon what is familiar can give them a false sense of security.

⛈Saturn in 5th house -You don’t like to share with others what you do for fun or what you like because you have a feeling that people won’t accept it. U may fear of not being noticed enough and that people would not notice your creativity. Sense of being unimportant; fear of taking risks; holding back from shining; stifling pride; fear of disapproval; self-denial; restraint of enthusiasm. Maybe fear of children, pregnancy. Working with kids or investing in a creative project can do wonders for this Saturn.

🌩Saturn in 6th house-Fear of animals can be in front of a particular animal. Fear that things will not go according to plan and that the work will not go as you imagined. Fear of doctors. I’ve noticed that people with saturn here don’t like going to the doctor. Fear of disease. Patterns of self-sabotage; denial of your needs; work that threatens health; being overly responsible; serving others at expense of self. You may be afraid to work in front of others or to work somewhere in general. As they relax, doing their work with dedication and simplicity, they have the opportunity to become skilled professionals or even healers.

❤️‍🩹Saturn in 7th house-fear of going into a relationship or getting committed. Maybe fear of marriage. There may be a fear present that you will never find the right person. Fear of being left alone. Fear or social paralysis. Fear of rejection; disappointing early relationships; shouldering heavy burdens in love; marrying for societal status; love as a business alliance; overly dependent on approval.

💔Saturn in 8th house-fear of death, of losing people close to you. Fear that people will exploit your love, trust. Fear of betrayal. Fear of dark things or taboo topics.Fear of moving on , letting people go. I think that's the hardest thing about saturn here - letting go of people close to them. You may also fear of having sex or something relate to it. There can be a lot of fear about surrendering to it. Dramas of financial entanglements; fear of change; emotional isolation, obsessions and addictions. Fear of losing control and power.

☁️Saturn in 9th house-fear of flying and heights. Fear of believing in something or being committed to something in faith. Fear of traveling to unknown places.You can also be afraid of strangers. They prefer to play it safe and avoid taking risks. As they figure out what they really believe in, it becomes easier to step outside their comfort zone and even become valuable teachers for others.

🪐Saturn in 10th house-fear of scandal.Fear of being exposed in public.Lose respect and reputation. Also the fear that the audience will condemn you for not giving the audience enough. Maybe fear of the crowd, responsibility, growing up, rules. You may also be afraid of authority figures. You have the chance to become someone that other people look up to.

🏄🏽Saturn in 11th house-the fear of losing friends that you will never find a person to stand by your side. Fear that you will never belong to a society (fear of rejecting society). Fear of not achieving your dreams and goals.They may be fearful of failing their group of friends and because they’re too proud to admit failure. These natives may be terrified of being “normal” or part of a crowd, which means they can’t loosen up when interacting with others.

☔️Saturn in 12th house-fear of spirituality, unknown, subconscious, dreams, maybe even sleep. Fear of drugs, alcohol. Fear of being completely alone. You can also be afraid of water or places by the water. Also can bring a fear of opening up towards emotion, sensitivity or compassion and it can work with difficult feelings such as guilt or sadness to bring people closer to their inner world. Also people in this placement can be afraid of that they will go crazy and thats why they prefer to keep their problems to themselves. In time, as they clarify their beliefs and their emotions , they can even turn into dedicated helpers and healers.

-Rebekah🦋☔️💗

[mejomonster]

So Sherlock Holmes Chapter One (from my naive just-started-playing perspective) seems to be a soft reboot of Frogwares Sherlock games, in the sense its a sort of origin story of Sherlock before he meets John Watson amd is the generally well known investigator with the personality and talents we (overall) expect. Since its a sort of origin story, it opens on a Sherlock (Sherry) with some personality traits in different values to the standard Later Sherlock, and with some skills just not as good yet (his deductions Feel far more fallible as they can be wrong in this game, or impossible to determine for sure if correct, amd from a gameplay perspective a young still growing Sherlock makes this feel more realistic, vice versa from a story perspective the gameplay lets them show Sherlock's young character and growth in the game). As a sort of original origin story, Frogwares has this creative freedom to change Sherlock (and add to/remove/edit) the Series as much as Sherlock adaptations do when they veer into some brand new aspects (like say Elementary, House, Psych). This is still the Sherlock Holmes we mostly know (or rather will BECOME the Sherlock Holmes from the original books mostly), but the changes made to him in Chapter One carry over into The Awakened. The 2nd game using this adapted version of Sherlock Holmes with the character changes and background history context that this original story in Chapter One added to the character. So it makes The Awakened feel more like an adaptation (like say Elementary or House etc) rather than an attempt to be mostly matching Book Sherlock.

Mostly, i like it. I like seeing original ideas and how theyre played with. Its like seeing an AU of sherlock, or a canon compliant add on (like in fanfiction). Its like the stories of Sherlock written after ACDs stories, based on them, but making new Sherlocks to some extent. Or interpreting in new ways by adding new ideas, or changing one or two, or changing setting and seeing how that effects the characters/story (like time period changed in Elementary etc).

I havent played the older Frogwares games (Crimes and Punishments is next on my list to play, maybe The Devils Daughter?), but i assume for the most part theyre going to be what i expect of BOOK Sherlock if put into new cases/situations.

Whereas Chapter One, is one (of a million) possible ideas of who book Sherlock might have been Before. Possibly taken to a bit of an AU route, just because i think in Chapter One they lean into a few character traits and growth arcs (and quirks) that make this Sherlock feel a bit distinctly different from the Original Sherlock cultural expectations from audiences. Chapter One Sherlock wants no friends, no anyone close to him, is bad with people. Thats a trait he gets better at by The Awakened, but its also one that some Adaptations give to Sherlock more than perhaps original Sherlock may actually have. Chapter One Sherlock, most notably, is given an origin story where his mom suffered from intense grief of his father's death, her own mental health deteriorated and she got ill, he felt unable to help (and was sheltered/lied to about the whole situation), was attacked by his mom (which his childhood self somewhat blamed himself for), and she died (and he blocked out the memory it was so painful). The origin story in the game is why he ultimately withdrew from people: he feared hurting them (fearing he hurt his mother), he feared them hurting him (his mom dying, mycroft lying, dad dying), he feared loving and losing them (for understandable reasons). Its not just a trait in general, that he doesnt like socializing with people or simply isnt good at it, in the game its a trait in part Because he's afraid of connecting to people and at least partly is pushing them away on purpose. The origin story in the game also has Sherlock react so strong to his dads death, his general childhood, that he has an imaginary friend Jon he relies on to self sooth. Because its a game, its a wonderfully utilized aspect that lets the player have a companion and Sherlock bounce off ideas aloud (when to a degree its just him working things out to himself). Its a tangible visible manifestation of what Sherlock emotionally goes through inside: his disassociation from reality and his own feelings, his desires FOR companionship and relating to people, his love of mystery and adventure and its escapist purpose for him, his care for people embodied by Jons compassion for others, his morality clearly more than sherlock lets on as he insists he doesnt value connection but does value Jon and Jon values connection so on some level Sherlock does and knows its valuable, its his hopes and fears, his self soothing to heal himself And his coping mechanisms of avoiding his own feelings and reality. Jon is a wonderful way to externalize all that so the audience can understand Sherlock internally, and so Sherlock can understand himself. (It also makes for an interesting original and emotional young Sherlock story).

But it has consequences. Jon is handled very significantly, which means going forward, when THIS chapter one Sherlock is used in future games its no longer just the Expected Overall General Sherlock. Its now a very specifically adapted Sherlock, with the character changes and history from chapter one informing how this new version of Sherlock is unique.

In The Awakened, this is a Sherlock we the player know had his own imaginary friend. We know he'd dissociated before. We know his mom had memory loss and believed her dead husband was alive, and how real it seemed to her while it was also very Painful to her family, we know Sherlock's seen doctors fail to heal mental health and potentially do harm without it being stopped in time. And its very interesting to see a Chapter One adaptation Sherlock in The Awakened scenarios. This version of Sherlock isnt going to question being transported to another dimension: partly because as any Sherlock does, he will assume a logical explanation like having breathed in drugs and hallucinated. But also, this Sherlock has seen things that no one else can like his imaginary friend Jon, his false memories then remembered memories, knows he's lied to himself with his own memories or completely blocked things out before. So it makes sense he wouldnt think a new dimension is weird to see: it could be his own mind making it up, or blocking out whats really there, he'd just accept the current thing he's seeing and act practical. When they go to the mental hospital, he sees the girl talk to her doll and to him its not much different than how he talked to Jon, when the doll talks it doesnt really matter if the girl is pretending to talk for the doll OR if the doll genuinely talks and is sentient. Its the girls business, Sherlock just intends to solve the mystery. He's not better than the girl, he's not judging the girl or her situation, he's quite neutral. He's been to some extent where she is, and still calls out to Jon when afraid, and can understand some of her own perspective. When he meets Becker, and realizes who it is, there's a parallel there between a mom who in Chapter One has the backstory of memory loss (and how Sherlock saw it growing up) and seeing Becker who's had that fate intentionally done to him by the head doctor. So from this version of Sherlock, theres an added weight to how cruel that is viewed by him. This Sherlock sees intentionally making someone forget as an extremely cruel thing to do. He views his own forgetting and then remembering the truth in chapter one, as ultimately a good thing despite being incredibly painful. So we know going into The Awakened that hes going to hate people who cause others to forget, who hurt other's minds or medically abuse others, he's going to have some compassion and understanding for the victims, and he's going to value people remembering the truth and the truth being Revealed to more people as positives. He's going to not question possibly supernatural things, as he's seen things others dont before and might even assume seeing such things is normal For him (so he doesnt question why he might see something Watson doesnt for example). The whole Chapter One shaping of Sherlock Holmes adds this interesting angle on a new Story. It could be any story now, and if Sherlock saw things others didnt we may not know for sure if they were there or just there for Sherlock. It could be any story now, and Sherlock may not question some things and instead consider them normal, and might have a particular hatred for lies and medical abuse to an extent even greater than perhaps expected of other Sherlock adaptations. And in this particular The Awakened story, it has things to play with that make Sherlock interact with the mystery in some ways that i dont think another adaptation might have. (Again, about the girl and her doll, i think a version of Sherlock who'e never had Jon might view and judge her thinking differently, i think a version of Sherlock who'd never forgotten his own memories or had Jon might question going to another dimension or hearing voices a Bit More).

Im only about 50% through the Awakened so feel free to ignore as i may get some things totally wrong. I just find it interesting how some Chapter One writing decisions make this Holmes a new version.

[monsterfloofs]

For the ask thing, anything you are excited for lately? Can be anything at all!

(Recently I got excited for the new Zelda game and wondered if anything has got your brain buzzing with excitement as well.)

Thank you for reading and I hope you have the loveliest of lovely days! 💕🌷✨

Oh hi! That is so lovely to hear that you got a new game, I hope you enjoy playing it! ( ◜▿◝ ) That sounds like a fun time I wonder what the new mechanism is for this game! = O I know there is one game where people were building some insane looking stuff! XDDD

Oh gosh, for me aaaah hm! I can't really think of anything right now that I am excited for! o.o ) I do have a... number projects cooking on the mental griddle at the moment! (So many pancakes...) I have a secret project I have been apart of >:3c as well as, working on too many half baked story wips x-x ;; ) I start them and then I ramble off elsewhere aaaaaaa sjdjdjdsj there is one I want to finish because it was from my design a monster / story with emoji and I am really liking how it's turning out. I am trying to experiment and put more creativity into the prose itself, I also have a friend acting as a beta reader. (Which I have NEVER had before, but has been a fun experience!)

Putting a read more because I ramble!

Let's see... is there anything else I can think of...

I have books out from the library, but I have been reading other books instead. orz I relistened to an audio book that makes me laugh because of the how silly the characters are. I been laughing... AGAIN about this particular look in gothic fashion that I have deemed "Just rolled out of the coffin," where it's, as the name says, looks like a very groggy looking vampire who just woke up. So I am wrestling with myself to not throw more on my plate because gosh I really want to draw Lawrence in that. XD (I also wanna draw Lawrence in a t-shirt with the picture of Noseferatu flicking the lights from that one time in Spongebob but PPPPPFFF)

The same beta reader friend is trying to convince me to work on that story again and AAAAAA that story is... such a... double edged sword to me, personally. On one hand at the time of finishing it, it felt like it was the best story that I have ever written. On the other, HOW DO I CONTINUE THAT?!?! D: How do I keep making it that way? And then anxiety hit and I froze over and couldn't bring myself to continue it because the fear of... messing up. And not sure where to go forward and being afraid I would spoil the story if I did skdjdkdkekd

There's a lot of things I would like to work on. o-o ;; ) I really gotta find a way to organize myself better between art and writing and just, creating in general. That and trying to restablish my art on different art websites has been stressing me out lately. ;-; ) I deleted almost all of my art off of instagram... which was almost 550 pieces of art, drawings and doodles.And realizing that place held 5+ years of my art journey and I had just deleted it was... hard to take. Still kinda mourning that and trying to figure out how to pick up the pieces.

Ahah! Sorry! People chat to me and I chatter back... A lot =u= ;; ) Sorry for the paragraphs! I don't usually go on and on like this, I mean I do on tumbly, I don't really feel like I pop off like this much in person. It's kind of funny and amusing to me that once I am here I become such a chatterbox!

I guess all my buzzing thoughts need to go somewhere sjskdjdjs

Ah yes, exciting things, I have things that I could be excited for once they get a better level of polish... I told you about the life things. Uhh, wracking my brain, the last thing I was kinda excited for was that I splurged and bought a pajama set from a small creator that I really love. They have a lot of cute spooky patterns and things. And this piece was from their Valloween collection which had ghosts, hearts and bats on it. 👉👈 (I also bought the cardigan with the same pattern when it first came out because it was love at first bite-- I mean sight! x//D This is the place I splurge on when I want to treat myself to cute spooky clothes. Gosh I wish the plague doctor button up came back in bigger sizes again. ;3; )

[faunabel]

vent, sorry, blah this has been bothering me for two days now

ugh like. two nights ago or something i forget i have amnesia but i think it was two nights ago pretty sure

someone i used to know who i never got along w/ added me on discord randomly, and they said they had nothing bad to say and i had an awful feeling but went along w/ it.

only for them to attack me, insult me, say horrible things, and say in particular i deserved every bad thing that ever happened to me. i can't even remember it all. but it was awful. and i don't want to reread the message now.

i've been so destabilized ever since. i hate how ever since 2021, i've had periods where i'm so shaken i can hardly function. i hate disappearing. i hate letting people down and not speaking to them for weeks. i hate having to fear people becoming fed up with me. i don't want to lose anyone i care about anymore, yet sometimes i just become so mentally unwell that i have to disappear. and i'm so scared they'll be mad at me for disappearing, that i'm scared to message them again. all i want is to speak again but i keep putting it off because i'm afraid. i don't want to come off as unreliable or uncaring. i didn't used to be that way... i used to always respond immediately, but now some days it takes so much energy i don't have. and i don't want to let anyone down so i find it hard to reach out at all. what if something happens that destabilizes me again and i disappear again? i don't want to be known as someone who never keeps their word about sticking around. i keep waiting to reach a point of true stability before i reach out but... i don't know when or if i'll ever reach that it.

i don't want to disappear again, but i've spent the past two days in a haze. sometimes i'll be trembling and not even realize it. i can't focus enough to work on any of my creative pursuits. my bones ache. i feel horrid. everything i do feels like its being put under a microscope and scrutinized. i feel stupid. i feel incompetent. i feel ridiculous. i feel like an awful person.

and it feels like nobody i told about it really cares. one of the two said they "see both sides" even though i was the one they went out of their way to attack with zero prompting. i wish someone would be angry on my behalf for once. i hate being the only one who cares about me. i hate trying so hard for none of it to actually matter.

people have always been so cruel to me. i'm always dwelling over if i deserved it. i dwell over any past mistakes i've made and this message didn't help. i feel haunted. sometimes i crave being a helpless pathetic victim for once. just for once. to be the person who's wrongfully treated, not the one people justify hurting because they believe i deserve it. but it all comes back around to fear that i'm just inherently rotten and i did deserve it all. and no amount of effort to be pure will save me.

i have only ever been strong because i had no choice. i always thought i was weak for being so bothered by everything, but now i see i was so bothered because i never got a break. i had to keep going no matter what happened because i was alone. i crave the ability to be weak. yet i'm afraid to be weak. displaying weakness only ever made people see me as even more of a target. as a child, i thought it'd make people feel bad and leave me alone, but... no. the opposite effect. they saw me as someone to take advantage of (i guess).

and even the day before that message, something else had me all stressed out. i'm waiting for things to get better but i feel so like crap. i'll go sit outside in the sun and listen to music trying to bring up my mood, but i feel like i'm swimming in very cold water. surrounded by emptiness. the void.

it's why i hate pools. that stagnant water depresses me.

[thygoddessouijathicc]

DSAF 3 GOOD ENDING HEADCANON

So I thought I’d write out my interpretation of the DSAF 3 good ending! Most people tend to go with the interpretation most of the characters go to heaven and Jack stays in the void, but I go for something a bit different :)

Spoilers ahead!

So in the DSAF 3 good ending all the characters move on in some way to an unknown fate. Henry gets beaten up and is forced to move on, Peter, Steven, Dee, Dave and Blackjack move on willingly (Dave a little less so as he wants to stay with Jack), and Jack finally gets put to rest as he burns with the rest of the Freddy’s relics that aren’t phone guys (but let’s be honest, it’d be fucked up if he tried to take the phone guys down with him).

So, the normal interpretation is that the Flipside Squad went to Heaven, Henry went to Hell, and Jack was stuck in the void as a type of purgatory.

Now I’m an atheist and that surprisingly does have an impact on this headcanon.

I think part of the reason the Heaven Hell Void headcanon is so big is because of the mention of Hell in dialogue, but it’s a sort of “if Hell exists you’ll go there” type mention and no one has no way of knowing what will happen (it’s literally mentioned that the worst thing that can be done to Henry is making him move on because he’s afraid of the unknown and it’s Henry who mentions this if I recall).

So what do I think? Well my headcanon is reincarnation. All the characters souls moved on and were reborn.

Now, what does this mean in reference to Dave being given Blackjack.

There are two possibilities. For these I’m going to consider Blackjack to have fused with Jack the same way Dave probably did with Davetrap after Jack and Davetrap burned.

Possibility one: The two of them ended up permanently intertwined, destined to be together in every possible life for better or for worse as soulmates.

Possibility two: They fused. What I mean by this is that their souls combined together to become a new one entirely allowing them to effectively be together forever.

I find this story to bring on more fear of the unknown because no one truly knows what will happen, everything is new, and they truly move on from being everything they are.

Also it doesn’t leave Jack stranded eternally in the void.

Either this, or they get Isekaid into a magical anime world because I think that’d be really funny.

I’ve seen lots of extremely interesting and creative ideas especially in fanfics and I just felt like sharing my personal headcanon! <:

If anyone feels like sharing theirs I’d love to hear them I just really love seeing all the cool creative ideas people come up with. :D

[danpuff-ao3]

Hi Danni! The astrology sorting asks are fun so I'll join in! (But no pressure or rush to answer!!!) I don't really know what any of this means besides my sun sign, but Cafe Astrology says:

Sun: Scorpio

Moon: Taurus

Rising: Taurus

Mercury: Sagittarius

Venus: Sagittarius

Mars: Cancer

Which based on your other answers seems to mean I have no Ravenclaw even though that's the house I put myself in, so joke's on me I guess. XD

Billie!!!! Very fascinating! Yeah, very minimal Ravenclaw vibes, I'm afraid! But let's see what this looks like.

Sun - Scorpio - water - Slytherin

Moon - Taurus - earth - Hufflepuff

Rising - Taurus - earth - Hufflepuff

Mercury - Sagittarius - fire - Gryffindor

Venus - Sagittarius - fire - Gryffindor

Mars - Cancer - water - Slytherin

So the "major" point is pretty evenly split across every house except Ravenclaw LOL. But let's dig deeper...

Sun (core, ego) in a water sign (emotion, intuition.) Scorpio specifically is very...perceptive. Very aware of one's surroundings, very prepared, very curious/nosy, intrigued by the dark side and taboo and strangeness. Scorpio has a very strong connection to all the dark and dirty sides of human nature, which makes them suspicious, and also skeptical. Very self-reliant, is Scorpio. Clever and cutting. Possessive and vengeful. Passionate and intense. It's a lot of big energy. But because the water signs are all so emotion-based, there's a big sense of vulnerability and fear in all of them. In Scorpio, I see this as very...them being on the offensive. Being prepared and always in survival mode. Mysterious and distant in some ways, but once you're in and you care, you give 100%. Scorpio is also hella stubborn. BIG MAJOR SLYTHERIN energy. But also hints of Gryffindor, as it's ruled by Mars.

Moon (emotion, subconscious) in an earth sign (physical, material.) There's a deep inner need for security, specifically the tangible state of security. A home, a job, money, etc. Taurus is the fixed (stubborn) earth sign (reliable, steady) and ruled by Venus (love, pleasure.) So we see a very dedicated, tenacious sign. One that's willing to work hard, partly to fill its needs, and then more so to fill its wants. Taurus is very sensual and romantic. Very keepsakes and memories. Luxuries. A peaceful, pretty garden; a relaxing spa day; candlelit dinners, etc. Very much wanting to feel safe and comfortable. They're also very loyal and loving. So yeah, big Hufflepuff energy, but also Slytherin vibes. That dedication and appreciation for luxury and need for security can sort of turn into ambition, resourcefulness, self-preservation. And the Hufflepuff loyalty can go hand in hand with Slytherin's sense of fraternity.

Taurus Rising...all the above energy also blends into the realm of perception. How we react to the world, becoming what we show the world, becoming what the world sees from us. Potential for a moon-rising conjunction (though I won't make assumptions), but even without an exact aspect, there's a sense of one's emotional life connecting to one's outer life. Gives the feeling of "heart on your sleeve" to me. Being aware of one's emotions, and those of others. Again: Hufflepuff, with hints of Slytherin. Also puts the chart ruler as Venus.

Mercury (communication & learning) in a fire sign (energetic & spirited.) Sagittarius is a mutable sign (changeable, adaptable) and ruled by Jupiter (expansion.) Fire is Gryffindor: lots of passion and boldness and creativity. Sagittarius is very fun-loving, easygoing, openminded. Sagittarius is the traveler, and values freedom. It's also adventurous, and philosophical. Very much one to roam the world and meet new people and learn all they can from them, and form their own sense of self and morality. They very warm, open, and direct (fire) when connecting to others (Mercury.) They might learn best by doing, and maybe figuring it out oneself. More inclined to study subjects one is really jazzed about (fiery passion) and what is important to them (fiery spirit.) Big on sharing wisdom and fighting for what's right. Big Gryffindor energy, yeah, with a side of Ravenclaw.

Venus (love & pleasure), the chart ruler, in Sagittarius, a fire sign. Venus covers relationships (romantic, platonic, etc.) and what we enjoy (hobbies, aesthetic, etc.) In Sagittarius this says a draw to people they have fun with, who share their values. People they can go on adventures with and experience new things with. Perhaps enjoys creative pursuits. Very playful and good humored. Very willing to stand up for those they love. Gryffindor, with a side of Ravenclaw. Bonus points for being the chart ruler.

Mars (action & drive) in a water sign (emotion & intuition.) Mars is the god of war, yes? This governs aggression and sexuality, as well. What pushes you to stand up, to move? What really prompts you to action? Cancer is a water sign, which again, very deeply feeling and motivated (Mars) by vulnerability and fear. Cancer, to me, is very defensive. Cancer is nurturing and protective. Mama bear vibes. A creature of comfort. A bit moody (as Cancer is ruled by the moon.) Cancer has ties to the mother and family, so I'd say this feels very family-oriented. Cancer in general is, but here it feels very purposed. Family matters a lot, and is the reason for a lot. Family history, tradition, values. One's home, one's family (blood or chosen.) Driven to create and maintain one's family and home. Driven to protect one's family and home. They're also very compassionate and sensitive. Very deeply feeling. And those emotions are behind so much of what drives them. So...big Slytherin energy, in that sense of fraternity and self-preservation. Resourcefulness (in doing what it takes to defend one's people and home.) Ambition, even (ambition for home and family.) Also some Hufflepuff-ish energy here? I almost said Gryffindor but I think that big Martian energy was pushing me there. Cancer generally gives me Puff Feels. That nurturing and compassion aspect, that comfort aspect, etc. But maybe in this planet, it could be Gryffindorish? Unsure. I might just leave it at Slytherin and call it a day.

This one is very tricky. Big hatstall moment. As in...I'm about to talk my way to the end cuz I still don't know at this moment.

Ravenclaw gets 2 "minor" points from the Ravenclaw vibes of Sagittarius.

Gryffindor gets 1 "minor" point from Gryffindorish Scorpio. 2 "major" points for Sagittarius Mercury and Venus. Also must note that Venus is the chart ruler and the dispositor of the moon. But Mercury is detriment in Sagittarius, so that detracts some.

Hufflepuff gets 1 "minor" point for Mars. (Also will note that Mars is the dispositor of the sun.) And 2 "major" points for Taurus moon & Rising. Will note that the moon is exalted in Taurus.

Slytherin gets 2 "minor" points for Taurus moon & Rising, and 2 "major" points for Scorpio Sun and Cancer Mars. Mars is in fall in Cancer, so that kind of detracts from it.

So Slytherin wins by numbers, but...I kind of am looking more at Hufflepuff, since both of it's major points are in the Big 3. And the moon gets a little boost for being exalted. Plus Mars is in fall. But the moon and rising also have "minor" Slytherin vibes.

But you say you self-sort as Ravenclaw. Which tells me there is a personal draw towards Mercury's realm. Learning, communication. Writing, technology, travel. And Mercury is in a fire sign, which would imply Gryffindor...but the specific fire sign has Ravenclaw feelings to it. We also see some Gryffindor flavoring in the sun sign (which is our core.) And if you want to take into account that Mars was giving me Gryffindor vibes...plus the chart ruler being in a fire sign...

The same fire sign that, again, has Ravenclaw vibes. So it's perhaps the more Ravenclaw-ish nature of Sagittarius you feel. Venus covering hobbies and values, if we apply that to the Sagittarius draw to philosophy, travel, learning, stories, etc. But for Sagittarius, those values are based in a very fiery place. Learning for the sake of spirituality, morality, philosophy, principles, etc. Not so much the simple pleasure of knowledge itself, but what knowledge itself means. (Not what it provides, which I would apply more to a Slytherin way of thinking; thinking of knowledge is power.)

Jesus lord you are literally everything but a Ravenclaw LOL. Of course, this is still only one very small sample of a full chart, so maybe other pieces would make it clearer. As it is, I am going to go with a vibe. I'm pulling this from 3 big thoughts:

You identify as Ravenclaw. So which of the other houses is most like Ravenclaw? We can connect Ravenclaw creativity to Slytherin cleverness + resourcefulness. And Ravenclaw's thirst for knowledge towards ambition.

The sun is our core, so when it comes to a tiebreaker, I'm more inclined to go with what the sun sign is (assuming it's in the running.)

What of the planets would I consider most important in Hogwarts Sorting? For me, I would think Sun and Mars, as our core and drive. What energizes us, what pushes us.

So...with much uncertainty...

Slytherin...?

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello, I am INFX, 21 y.o. After reading your blog, taking some tests and understanding functions (hopefully) a little better, I narrowed down my options to INFP and INFJ. If you are able to, I would gladly use your help in determining my type. As for important information: I have a generalized anxiety disorder, I had depression for several years and I am still prone to depressive episodes. English is not my first language.

I will start with INFP functional stack. Fi Dom: I have a fuzzy sense of identity, which is why I often don't know what I like or dislike, get stuck, don't trust my gut feelings, rely on others a lot in decision-making processes. I do tend to judge things as either good or bad depending on my beliefs, but the beliefs are weak. I don't trust them unless they are built on a solid framework of knowledge and evidence. I need to know rather than believe. My emotions emerge seemingly from nowhere. I can't identify what's the reason for them and how to deal with them. But for some reason I still think I make decisions relying on my emotions, it's just that if I always relied on them it would do more harm than good.

Te Inf: I have trouble understanding Te. I know Te is about external structure. Actually I rarely encounter extremely messy lifestyle as in Fi extreme and I can plan things decently, even if I don't like doing so. Structure helps me and I need it in order not to become chaotic, so I always have an agenda and don't like it when plans are cancelled. Especially in recent years I got better at structuring my life. Most of the time I know what to do to solve my problems, I just don't want to do it. So I don't think I've ever encountered Te grip (at least not from what I'm aware of). At my lowest points I did have trouble to take care of myself but I attribute it to depression.

Ne Aux: Ne is one of the few functions I can decently use and understand in a positive way. I often look for new activities to participate in, new hobbies (especially creative ones). I have 300+ tabs open at all times because I research many different topics at once. I can generate creative ideas (usually for my art) with the help of sensory experience (such as music). Often manifests in unhealthy ways - I use daydreaming to escape responsibilities.

I can find a lot of opportunities but I don't indulge in them or follow through, which makes my interests shallow. I like making lists (of albums to listen, movies to watch, stuff to draw, things to do in general), but I rarely do what's in those lists. I'd rather daydream about it than actually do something. This is one of my greatest struggles, because I have ideas and inspirations but they always stay in my head or on paper and never come to fruition.

What makes me think Ne is my Aux rather than Dom is that I am very risk-averse and not very extraverted (I know ENXP are the most introverted extraverts though), I have never been very positive either or extremely chaotic either.

Si Tert: I am prone to not stepping outside of my comfort zone. I want new experiences but at the same time I'm afraid of them. As I've mentioned before I am very risk-averse, not taking even calculated risks. Fear of failure holds me back. I'm afraid that the status quo may change not in my favor (it will all go downhill if I make a mistake, so I'd rather do nothing at all).

Moving onto INFJ stack: Ni Dom: I struggle with perfectionism because I have an ideal image of things I want to implement and I'm too afraid I will fail to achieve the ideal; I have a perfect version of myself in mind which I strive to be one day (but often fail to come even close to it). I don't have a clear picture of my future though.

I know that many people equate Ni with "insightful" thinking, which I cannot relate to. I "predict" the future in a negative way, always expecting a catastrophe and feeling paranoid at worst. I often jump to pessimistic conclusion way before anything bad happened. I keep telling myself that it's better to keep expectations low in order not to get disappointed.

Se Inf: I cannot engage with physical world because of escapism. When I'm outside I don't notice my surroundings at all. I go through life on autopilot. Even when I try to be present and focus on the current moment, my sensing is dulled, almost muted, and the engagement feels shallow. I'm always in my head, made-up scenarios are more comforting to me than the real world. I reflected on it for some time and decided depression is not to blame because my Se was unhealthy/unused before that as well, it just escalated.

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You've made it clear that dominant Fi and inferior Te don't fit. That is more than enough to rule out INFP, so I'm not sure why you're still considering it. The info you gave for dominant Ni and inferior Se sounds fine, but I'm not sure why Fe and Ti are missing. Did you not send them? Did I not receive them? In any case, I can't draw a firm conclusion without information about the entire stack.