#(i am in need & free is free but absolutely refuse to acknowledge the fucking name)

[honeyvenommusic]

my god. so i’m working on a single i wanted to put out 1.5 years ago lol (surprise) but really wanted to give more to it but just didn’t have the means and man….

retrieving vocal stems from one DAW that only allowed me 8 tracks like i knew i was making it work with whatever i had and that sometimes meant bass sharing a track with vocals sharing a track with bg vocals sharing a- 😭

and now i’m crying (bc i have to sort it out but that’s also bc) damn we really were living in squalor had to give myself a little kiss bc damn you really made that work babes i’m astonished and it still sounded dynamic and great i really took time to calculate what effects would work overall on a track with whatever i had on it it had to work across the board and it still sounded good eye- now i’ve just started a new DAW like a month+ ago (still holding my head whenever i need to add a new track just waiting for the other shoe…) but i’m already feeling less stressed (miss some definite things so i’ll be back to start something or add something and then move to the other but ehh we’ll make it work like we are now)

[aashiqeddiediaz]

you know, after watching day 3 of the democratic national convention, i need to say something, especially to other muslims like me.

most of the muslim communities that i'm a part of have chosen to vote uncommitted, or independent, or sometimes, even trump. they refuse to give their vote to kamala harris and tim walz, because of the way the us has handled the war in gaza, and how they have been careless with acknowledging palestinian lives lost, how it was american bombs and american tax money that went towards funding this genocide. it's fucked up, and it's wrong, and there shouldn't be any debate on that.

and i am 100% in support of that anger. i am 100% in support of forcing america to stop funding this genocide. no one wants to keep seeing palestinian lives suffer. no one is free until we're all free, and i believe that to my very core.

my only concern is that where this anger is being placed, from 1 year to 11 weeks before the presidential election, is so scary. because the reality of the situation is that america has a bipartisan outlook. whoever gets the presidency is either democrat or republican. and every vote that doesn't go towards democracy (i.e. voting for kamala harris) inadvertently goes towards trump's big plan of project 2025, which is basically dictatorship. Even voting uncommitted, even voting independent. we cannot afford to elect trump for a second term, and voting anything other than democrat draws that line way too close, especially in swing states like michigan, pennsylvania, wisconsin, georgia.

yes, there are many issues that we wish joe biden would handle better. there are many ways that the democratic party has fucked up beyond repair. there are many ways the democratic party has refused to acknowledge the pain of people affected by their military people throughout the years, and we've been seeing it for years. this is not a new thing. this did not start on october 7th. we see it during pretty much every administration.

however, voting for your candidate should never be based on a singular issue. no political candidate is ever going to check every single box. and its so unfortunate that we have to always take the "lesser of two evils" approach when nominating our president, but that's the reality of the situation at this very moment. there are many other rights to be considered that are at stake this election, all of which trump is trying to remove. abortion bans, women's rights, healthcare, social security, climate change, to name a few.

(and, somehow, there's a belief that trump will lead to a ceasefire deal where biden-harris didn't? let me tell you that is never going to happen.)

does this mean we just stop protesting or pressuring? absolutely not. you NEVER stop, because if our votes are the ones that put the candidate in their position of power, then we expect results. we expect them to work towards what they promised. and we can't let up on reaching out to our local county offices and our state governors and escalating these issues further until someone takes notice and does something about them. we don't elect them and just leave them to do what they want. we keep them accountable. use that anger i was talking about.

but it also means not having tunnel vision. the election in november could very well mean the end of democracy if kamala harris doesn't win. this post is not me all giggly-happy over the democratic party, because trust me, i have my fair share of issues with them as well. this post isn't to tell you what to do, because i can't force you to vote blue. i can't force the community i'm in to change their minds about toss-up votes. but what i can do is put down plainly what's at stake this election. and that is, very simply, our right to choose everything.

so if you are eligible to vote and haven't registered, please do. if you haven't voted before because "what's the point", please see above what the point is. a handful of votes is enough to flip the outcome of an election, especially with the electoral college.

and if you're still on the fence on whether to vote for kamala or trump, hopefully this post gives a little bit more perspective in the most streamlined way i could manage without bogging you down with statistics and numbers.

the choice is yours.

[itsashowtime]

What kind of personality does Toshi have and what backstory?

I am still in the process of fleshing out his story but! Here's what I have so far...

(Art by: Aixen )

Japanese Name: 時紫 雨花

Surname: Toshi 時紫 (violet hour)

First Name: Ukuwa (rain flower)

Alias: White Rabbit (By most), Eighty-Six (By Sho after they breakup) 

Birthday: June 8

Age: 19

Gender: Cis Male

Height: 190cm (6'2")

Noise Form: Jackalope Cantus

Trivia/facts:

I designed him next to Rindou so they looked super hot together but then Shou swiped him like the asshole he is - I have yet to play Neo so maybe UkuRin will be able to recover but rn the Shou living rent free in my brain doesn't seem to want to share

I made Ukuwa's motif Hydrangea after a trip to the Hydrangea Shrine.

He's extremely picky about food and drink tempretures, like, it has to be just right or he'll tear you a new one

Loves Chai flavour

Every barista's nightmare, he'll yell at you if you don't pay attention to his laundry list order

He fiddles with his ear piercings when he's nervous

He thumps his feet like a rabbit when he's pissed

The neediest fucking bottom

Personality

A hardworking, judgemental and esteemed horologist. Time means everything to Ukuwa and he always seems to be in a rush! He is nicknamed 'Shibuya's White Rabbit' since he is often spotted dashing around the streets mumbling about schedules.

Ukuwa is strict and harsh but especially towards himself. He hates relying on people and prefers to get things done on his own. He is extremely counter dependent. If absolutely necessary, he takes extreme care in picking who to have around. He mostly sees people as tools for his own convenience. He calls people 'cogs'.

He has a very good eye for art and is passionate about design. He doesn't get excited often but when it comes to art, that is the one time his eyes light up.

Ukuwa's character arc is about slowing down and embracing the moment, being able to acknowledge your progress, allowing yourself to accept help and allowing friendships with unconditional love to blossom.

Backstory

tldr; He is the CPTSD haver ever - Trigger warning for: child abuse, neglect, divorce

An only child who did not have his emotional needs met. Ukuwa was raised by an abusive, alcoholic father who was a electronics technician and a neglectful mother who was a highschool teacher. Both his parents had high expectations towards him right away. Failure to perform with the best outcome would result in: solitary confinement + hitting/whipping as punishment whether that be in school, house chores, or even going out. He has scars all over his hands as a result which is why he wears gloves all the time.

Ukuwa would be locked in an empty room after a rough beating to 'reflect on his actions' for hours, his only company being clocks. This is where his obsession with clocks started. Curious and bored, Ukuwa would start to disassemble clocks at a young age to figure out their workings. One could’ve gone insane, but Ukuwa was grateful that the clock would tell him when the pain was over and he could see the light again.

His parents divorced when he was in middle school, both of them getting newer partners with other children. This applied extra pressure onto him to perform well. Unfortunately, Ukuwa was often casted aside in favour of his step/half siblings. He is desperate to prove that he isn't a burden. In fact, that's a really big fear of his.

Ukuwa functions on guilt and shame. His fear of being a burden and a failure is what causes his workaholicism and lack of care towards himself. He pushes forward and only forward. He does not allow himself to rest. Time only moves forward, and so he wants to move only forward too.

This means that he's chronically counter dependent and refuses help when it is offered. He avoids connecting with people unless it's absolutely necessary and for business purposes. Because one less person to be around means one less person to be a burden and disappointment to.

Ukuwa saved up a lot as a child just to move out and to escape his family. Once he graduated from high school, he immediately moved out to Tokyo and has been living in a sharehouse.

He currently attends a college of jewelry in Shibuya, learning how to make clocks of all kinds. He is obsessed with Il Cavallo Del Re and dreams to design clothes and watches for them.

Now, I don't usually have my OCs getting TOO involved in canon but this is sort of an exception (though Ukuwa does not effect TWEWY mainplot) *puts hands together* So where does he fit into TWEWY? WELL-

One day, when he was rushing around mumbling about time and being late, he got caught up in a sinkhole and he dies. (Haha, ironic bc of his nickname which references the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland) He was already feeling terrible because his clock design didn't get included in this competition he had participated in.

But he lands himself in one of Minamimoto Shou's earlier Reaper Games. At this point, Shou hasn't discovered Taboo bullshittery. This game takes place a while before Neku comes along.

His entry fee was his concept of time. This means that he cannot even see the timer on his phone and can only recieve missions. Ukuwa is hyper vigilant (thanks cptsd). That means he's extra sensitive to light and sound. He has several clocks on him with different 'voices' that soothes him. Suddenly, he can't hear them anymore and that throws him off real bad.

He gets grabbed by a straight-for-pay lesbian hostess and party girl, Hana, admist the panic of Day 1. She grabs him because he looks 'reliable' and wealthy. (she was wrong. Ukuwa is gay and he only looks wealthy because the clothes he wears is what he designed and he's good with his hands)

Hana forms a pact with him, wanting to take advantage of him like she usually does with men because she treats them like wallets. Her entry fee was money, so she cannot spend money throughout the game and has to rely on stingy Ukuwa. Ukuwa has to rely on Hana to keep track of the time.

They start off pretty rocky at first because Ukuwa doesn't have patience for her antics and Hana gets frustrated by how Ukuwa is so careful with how he uses his money and how he doesn't seem to know how to have fun.

Ukuwa's pysch is cryokinesis. Because you know. Time has literally stopped for him. He can summon icicles and walls of ice. Hana has immense strength and smacks the shit out of noise with her purse. They become quite a good team throughout the week.

Ukuwa starts to enjoy the moment instead of trying to push forward and ignore his feelings, and Hana learns that partying and drinking won't solve all of her problems.

Tldr, he falls in love with Shou so hard and he already struggles with feelings of uselessness in the RG so he ends up becoming a reaper. Their relationship happens very quickly and it's veeeery toxic (but that's what makes it tasty)

If you wanna know the deets about UkuShou-

Ukuwa x Shou

Ukuwa is immediately intruged by Shou's trash heaps. The symbolism and the cynycism towards humans speaks out to him. It's the first time he really feels connection towards someone. The precision of the trash, how it's held up so sturdily and is obviously so deliberate is impressive to him. Hana tries to snag a piece of trash that looks useful as a weapon and Ukuwa yells at her and puts it back. He calls it an art installment.

He doesn't know that Shou is the artist behind the heaps. Not until the trash cat turns up anyways. He actually finds Shou insufferable and annoying at first. The yelling into the megaphone is pretty triggering to him and he doesn't hesitate to throw an icicle at Shou. When he finds out that Shou is the artist though, he can't help but grow more and more curious.

When Shou hears Ukuwa praising his art, he's pretty confused at first. He normally doesn't care if measly humans can't understand his art's brilliance and beauty, so hearing Ukuwa reading his piece like a book is different and a little unsettling. One part of him is happy? But the other part of him just doesn't want to admit that he's understood.

So throughout the week, he makes more unhinged art pieces and challenges Ukuwa to guess the symbolism and he denies how correct Ukuwa is every time. It's annoying how bright Ukuwa looks when he talks about his art. But it's also really endearing too.

Anyways, Shou grows curious about Ukuwa and it's a running theme that he tries to interrogate him in closed spaces like alleyways, the phonebooth of love (where they share their first kiss) and changing rooms. They bicker, argue, talk about art, the mission, etc.

Ukuwa is a stupid baby gay and he starts seeing Shou as a person and he starts to understand and speak in maths lingo too. Shou becomes so fascinating and beautiful to him so he makes the extra effort to get to know him. He has the biggest crush and Hana notices too- Even trying to set them up in her own silly way.

I should prolly mention that I hc that Shou is colourblind and has protanomaly colour blindness (weak to red/green) and like.

Shou vision Ukuwa is vibrant and pretty it's insane.

I fully agree with Kiga's Shou HC and I think Shou had his art criticized in the past due to his questionable colour choices which lead to him making more sculpture stuff than paint. ANYWAYS-

Shou eventually accepts that he is understood by Ukuwa and by the time it's day 7, he realizes that actually, he kinda doesn't want Ukuwa to die in his hands. Luckily, Shibuya's Reaper's Game rules at this point aren't exactly solid yet and Shou being Shou finds loopholes. On the last day, there are a few surviving duos that reach the top of Pork City to fight Leo Cantus. This is when Ukuwa tosses humanity right out the window and he essentially erases all remaining players aside from himself and his partner Hana.

He's under the impression that one of them will have to die so he tells Shou that he'll gladly 'give him his movement' and die in his hands, but Shou cannot bring himself to do that and asks him to stay and add art to this world with him.

Tldr, thanks to the loophole of mission mail wording, Ukuwa is able to become a reaper and the two become even more inseparable.

They are very horny and very obsessed with each other. Ukuwa drops everything for love. Unfortunately, Ukuwa is a needy bitch and he relies on Shou for his dopamine. Shou is a free spirit and he likes his space so the relationship falls apart after a few months.

Ukuwa is actually the one that dumps Shou because he was 'five minutes and twenty three seconds late to our date'.

This hurts Shou's pride a lot because how DARE he get dumped. But here's the thing- they keep banging anyways. They are like magnets. And Shou is SO smug about it too. Because Ukuwa is in denial about still having feelings but he keeps going back!

I have yet to play NEO but after Shou dies in TWEWY Ukuwa acts like a fucking widower and he has a relapse with his workaholism. Kariya really helps him loosen up and enjoy the moment.

When Shou is revived in NEO, Ukuwa is like a sobbing mess. I imagine by then, Ukuwa has grown as a person more and he has learnt to give Shou space so they end back together. Shou also learns to have some empathy and stop being so selfish and finally apologizes (shocking) and they get back together. With their bond stronger than ever, they end up having a daughter (light puck baby) named Miu who is almost as unhinged as they are. She LOVES physics. She's a genius. And also a super powerful angel but I'll explain that another day LOL

[hidden-poet]

I just finished reading chapter 3 & 4 of commander snow and WOW!!! How are you not on New Yorks best selling author list? Jesus your writing is AMAZING!!! 

Okay the way he grabbed her neck and kept kissing and biting her neck while she was searching him for morphling in so much distress was so hot 🥵🥵 (I mean all the sexual content in commander snow is so hot; don’t even get me started on him eating her out and forcing her to give him 2 bjs in less than 24 hours 😂 soooo much to unpack there in those scenes *CHEFS KISS* MUAH)!!! He’s so proud of himself after that too with digging into that apple pie and feeding it to her 😂 And what’s this whole deal about him not fucking her until he goes back to the capitol? What does this man have planned for her?

The way he has this constant need for validation to feel love and nurture from the her warms my heart 🥹 even tho this man delusional as fuck and I shouldn’t feel bad for him but you got me conflicted over here and I WANT HIM TO CORRUPT ME😭 He’s so possessive over her and her independence 😫🥵

Coryo really out here using readers toothbrushes in both commander snow and snow lands on top 😂 but I find them sharing it so hot. I also love how this man has a constant slapping kink in each of your fics hehehe 🥵

Idk why but the way he takes over her whole bed is so funny to me 😂 but him taking her wrist and rubbing it 🥹 even though he’s the one who damaged it in the first place 😂 and the tending to her mother and comforting her (again his own damn doing LOL) 

When he says “I’ll never understand why they run.” Really boy? Really? Are you really that delusional?

I really appreciate you making these super long cause that’s my jam and can’t get enough!!! Also what I love about your dark coryo work is that you make them DARK DARK which is my absolute undoing in the world of dark fiction 🫠

I am missing so much moreeeee here but your work is making me go FERAL RN I HONESTLY CANT THINK STRAIGHT WITH THIS MAN ROAMING AROUND IN MY HEAD 247😫

I also wanted to talk about snow lands on top real quick. I LOVE Mabel absolutely love her. (Bad bitch fearless energy) especially when she drops his clothes on the floor refusing to wear them "no, thank you" 😂 And can we take a minute to acknowledge how CUTE the name Mabel is?

The way you portray Dr. Gaul is soooooooo scary scary ACCURATE to the tea! That woman truly terrifies me 😂

The way he just threatens her and her family and commands her what to do and what not to do 😫 the asking her to help him with his sock made me giggle lol.

I see grandma’am is still the same bitter old lady 😂 And the whole thing at the dinner table with the bread is so funny yet so cute on Mabels part🥹 coryo was getting really agitated at that 😂 she definitely tests his limits which is why I love Mabel sm!!

Okay him teaching her how to read and write 🫠 he's basically training her like a dog 😂 from district scum to captiol gal!!

And not this man drugging her and sprinkling his manhood all over her stomach while she’s laying there like sleeping beauty 😂 still have to give him some respect for not going all the way with her whilst in her deep slumber 😂

I cannot WAIT for the next part to drop on both these AMAZING stories!!!!!!!!!!!

This is possibly my favourite ask ever 🥺😭 you are far too kind!

Thank you for taking the time out to read my work, and further time to write out this lovely comment! It’s means so much.

Commander snow is only nice when you are nice. Which is so hard because he is so terrible!

I am really trying to link his sad backstory as to why he acts certain ways towards the reader.

Also!

I did not even pick up that both Coroys used the same brush! Good eye! I suppose it is just super hot!

I think he is more cocky than delusional in that scene.

“I never understand why they run” because I always catch them.

—

Coriolanus snow also haunts my head! He’s got free realestate there.

—

I AM SO GLAD YOU LIKED SNOW LANDS ON TOP.

Thank you again! Please let me know what you are thinking about each chapter, I love your thoughts ❤️❤️

[queerian]

a mostly spoiler free summary of Foreigner

because i NEED people to know about my blorbos

humans have yeeted themselves into far distant space on a generation ship type thing. it lands in the wrong place, shit is super fucked up, they* have to make an emergency settlement on a nearby habitable planet which turns out to have sentient, intelligent, civilized life who are pretty cool actually. (the atevi. they are basically eight foot tall dark elves who are super hot. i decided about that last part but it's true.) after a little while of totally okay coexistence, there's suddenly an unexpected big fuckoff war, and after that war they realize it's due to surprise linguistic/biological/cultural differences. as a result, the humans all live separate from atevi on an island, and with the atevi they organize an interface, via one single human translator who learns the atevi language and lives with the atevi as an ambassador and facilitates any human-atevi political or economic affairs.

*some of them. not all of them. this becomes relevant later.

the story follows Bren Cameron, the sole human translator in the atevi world. there are fifteen books of it, and currently i am on book 5, and from what i can tell it's just one long string of "Bren Cameron's Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day", in which So Many Extremely Stressful Political and Cultural and Personal and [Redacted] Events Occur and it's Paidhi Bren (Translator Bren)'s job to deal with it all.

he has two loyal atevi bodyguards called Banichi and Jago whomst i love and whomst love him. actually pretty much all atevi love him or at least think he is INCREDIBLY darling, including some of the ones that for political reasons may also want him dead, which he absolutely does not comprehend and refuses to acknowledge. most notable of this latter category are ilisidi (GRANDMA!) and her bodyguard cenedi.

things this series has: - a LOT of general peril but very little actual dying (relatively, especially when you consider that an assassin's guild is central to the plot) - deadly tea - less deadly tea - moderate amount of conlang - a lot of manners - political intrigue! - bren cameron being confused, stressed, and overwhelmed but always, always, extremely competent and polite and a nice boy - overbearing but also absent mothers - overbearing but also absent yet doting monarch-bosses who are usually right about everything - did i mention ASSASSIN'S GUILD - a horse named "lethal

[equalseleventhirds]

hm. i know it's rly rly early but i am contemplating the argument for 'aracial' podcast characters that goes 'well beginning podcasters don't have money to hire actors, so they just use their friends, so their casts are very white, so it's better for them to let fandom create representation with their aracial characters'

and i think... maybe back in 2012, when podcasts were so small? but maybe not rly... and especially not here and now in the year 2021, and let me tell you why:

audio dramas are SO damn popular nowadays that you can put a casting call for a totally unpaid podcast on twitter or tumblr and get HUNDREDS of auditions. is it better to pay your actors? yes of course. are people totally willing to do this work for free, or for the promise of patreon pay if your patreon takes off? yes absolutely.

there are a lot of all-white or majority-white podcasts which are, nevertheless, WILDLY popular. sometimes this is bcos of fanon depictions, but often it's just! people like their stuff! regardless of rep!

representation should not be a marketing tool. it should not be something you do (or leave vague) in order to appeal to your audience. representation is about telling the stories of marginalized people, it's about marginalized people being able to find WORK in the creative industry, it's about just! normalizing our existence in the world by showing us in media! faux-representation in 'aracial' characters will NEVER actually do this, and you're not actually helping anyone (except perhaps the popularity of your show) by not acknowledging the whiteness of your cast.

why are all your friends white. no seriously wtf. this does not make things BETTER. you need to talk to some poc i think.

if you are white and all your friends are white, possibly you have no business writing about poc at all actually? not even vague 'well they might be poc'? like, are you going to WRITE about us or use us as an aesthetic or create horrible mangled stereotypes based on media you've consumed?

(don't say you've gotten a sensitivity reader. if you can't pay cast members you can't pay a sensitivity reader.)

and, if you apparently don't know any poc, when you write your 'aracial' character, you are simply writing whiteness and refusing to put a name to it, making it the default. again, not helpful for real representation.

this argument is always, ALWAYS used to justify 'aracial' writing for white casts, bcos white is the fucking default. this isn't just in podcasts, but poc in the creative industry don't get to like... escape their race. it's always there. it's considered in casting, it's considered in people accepting your writing; we're expected to be the representatives of our races/tell our 'cultural story' every time we write/provide a 'different perspective' on the industry/whatever. i will never be just 'a writer' or 'an actor' or 'a director'. i will be the filipino writer/actor/director, and expected to be telling THAT story at all times, and used as the diversity checkmark by white people. and in some ways this is a responsibility poc have! when we are able to reach these places, when so few of us get to, we have a chance to be the representation people need, so we do! but unlike white people, we will never be considered 'aracial' or the default. and not only is this wildly fucking unfair, for white ppl to get this benefit of just! writing a white person without saying so! and people manufacturing representation in a way that makes their shit popular! while poc cannot! it's also like... we're always expected to tell our damn racial story. white people can fucking own up to the fact that they're telling theirs. who knows, that honesty might even make your writing better.

...that got very kind of angry and passionate and also i'm sure there's more reasons? it is VERY early like i said but i. i'm real tired of seeing that same old 'well but they're just beginners so it's fine to be so fucking white!!' thing. maybe once upon a time it was, when podcasts as a whole were still finding their ground. now, when you're breaking into podcasting, there is a whole bunch of groundwork laid out for you. you can grow past that.

[relaxxattack]

(i dont care to do c! tags bc theres. so many characters. if i dont say cc! then im talking abt the characters) normally i am not one to think much about the syndicate bc outside of ranboo being there to protect tubbo the syndicate Frustrates me a bit but. if phil starts to realize just how fucked over tubbo got by schlatt being erased from the narrative (and especially how shittily techno has treated tubbo) then i really hope they lean into like. the fact that the syndicate may soon turn into phil, niki, ranboo, and possibly the mystery member (im including mystery member mostly because i think tubbo is on good terms with almost everyone except like. dream, possibly wilbur but we'll see, and like the eggpire ppl but none of them are likely options but it is possible that the mystery member could just be neutral) all like. wanting tubbo to be safe and phil is *just* reasonable enough that i think he'd realize how unfair it is for tubbo to have been subjected to so much shit just for techno to introduce even more fear and the need to hide in his life

like phil already keeps the bee duo marriage and michael a secret, he lets tubbo come over and while of course its mostly from the semi lore vibes phil seems vaguely fond of tubbo already (i dont think phil and tubbo have father/son vibes tho, more just like. tubbo is just That Kid that adults cant help but adore even though the kid will rob them of house and home. slightly amused elder watching a tiny fucking gremlin make sex jokes and talk about soviet russia), niki from what i remember still cares about tubbo (probably because she cant redirect any anger towards him without realizing how unjustified it would be kcnsks she can come up with excuses for hating tommy but tubbo didnt do anything that niki has a problem with outside of her maybe having a bad view on butcher army if she knows about it?), ranboo is. ranboo. i dont need to clarify. and then like said theres a very low possibility of the fifth member *disliking* tubbo or being unable to sympathize with him.

people talk a lot about how techno needs to lose in a way that he cant easily come back from without introspection and i think while the rest of the syndicate standing up for tubbo would increase technos grudge against tubbo initially its also like. something that i think would maybe force techno to see tubbo as a person because now theres nothing techno can box (haha gettit. tubbox tubbo in a box tubbo getting boxed into certain roles by people who refuse to let him out techno esp doin this teehoo) tubbo into that wouldnt just. acknowledge that tubbo is a person. hes not apart of the government anymore, not planning any failed revolution, the most negative title to his name is being one of the nuke makers but even then thats out of fear and safety and techno knows that. otherwise tubbos current crimes are nothing thats special to tubbo (like. stealing and searching for evidence in ppls homes and stuff, the latter of which techno doesnr even know about). right now tubbos a husband, a father, a friend, a kid, *ex*-government, a person. and just.

i think that with how much foreshadowing about tubbos execution no longer being a secret amongst the witnesses and tubbo himself and soon being something that people close to techno like phil and ranboo know about as well (in that i want phil to learn that techno did it and for ranboo to learn about it in general bc hes just biased enough for tubbo and just smart enough that i think even if somehow he wasnt told who did it he could figure it out), and with the fact that tubbos lore has been confirmed to now be something thats actively going to be played into? i think (or at least hope) that it might spur phil and techno into finally seeing tubbos side of the story (and probably also get into the possibility of tubbo opening up to tommy and ranboo but i do think realistically either tubbo will try to play it off/not truly open up about how much its effected him or tubbo will at first shut down or go into complete repression mode, especially if phil and ranboo get the story from other people rather than tubbo himself [but god do i hope they confront tubbo himself]. either those two or tubbo talks about his emotions through fucking snapping at something/someone like he did at quackity when reminded of his execution, which as long as its Not tommy or ranboo ill absolutely be cheering on him for)

which is all a very convoluted way of saying uhh. *grabby paws at the ccs currently involved in the arc of clearing up personal misconceptions about l'manberg (and especially tubbos involvement and how easily those around him judged him based off of their versions of the story)* tubbo lore? tubbo healing tubbo talking about his problems? characters learning to see him as a person and recognizing how traumatized he is and that hes not uneffected but actively repressing any effects? please? (also ending note as the cherry on top of this essay that im sorry for dropping into your inbox: im kind of glad that tommys healing arc and tubbos possible healing arc are going to happen at similar times but are still separate. something something its nice to see acknowledgement that tommy and tubbo wont heal in the same way and arent going to know how to help each other but theyre still going through it together. their arcs are intertwining without removing their individuality and as someone w major co-dependency issues its kind of nice idk. you can be there for someone and still acknowledge that you have your own things to go through too and that while you wont be alone you shouldnt force those around you to support you. the bench trio are all helping each other out of free will and genuine love for each other while still realizing they have some problems they arent ready to talk about yet that arent forced to the open because theyre all doing their best to handle each other with care and i just. bench trio my beloveds. the kids are alright.) -🎭🎪 (also as the actual end note if theres ever a need to refer to me as something other than the emojis mask or eyez works fine but the idea of my name being the emojis is also Very Funny to me so do what you will)

im working on my aperture camera college assignment rn and my brain is sort of fried so i dont have an intelligent answer, but i got the happy chemical reading this.

yeah. i think we all know here that my favorite character is tubbo, and i REALLY hope we get him addressing anything that’s happened to him in canon. pretty much all of what you said sounds very good. *grabby hands* spare tubbo lore? please? spare tubbo lore?

perhaps during the three weeks wilburs off in the fucking woods (/lh) we could have a the-others-find-out-what-happened-to-tubbo-(and in DETAIL)-arc. pleaseeeeeeeee and ty

[strangerobin]

Rue: Chapter 6 (Jasper Hale x OC)

Just know that, in another life where I was free of lies and deceit, I would move heaven and earth just to stay alongside you. To spend a lifetime with you. Body and soul.

Or

Stolen away just nights before their wedding, Jasper had mourned the loss of his lover, Adeline, for centuries. Until a similar face showed up one day out of the blue, just as beautiful and just as youthful.

Part 6

A plan of sorts that leaves neither parties thrilled.

She was still waiting for a sign.

On occasions, Adeline felt watched and the unease in her heart refused to subside. Something was about to happen to break this faux peace, she was sure; but just what it was she had no clue. And the more time had passed, the more on edge and paranoid she got, going so far as to snapping at poor Loreen for the smallest of things. She hated herself more than ever.

In the end, the sign she had been waiting for came in the form of flowers.

Cornflowers to be exact.

A bouquet was left in the early morning on the doorsteps of their little shared house. No one had heard the deliverer. Anakin and Teddy were away, engaging in their own businesses. Loreen was still tucked safely in her little fort of plushies and rag dolls. Adeline had merely opened the door to enjoy some fresh air and was instead met with a bouquet of cornflowers arranged with utmost care.

Your eyes are the colour of cornflowers.

A man she loved once told her. So she was reminded of.

Holding the bouquet as far away from herself as possible, she chucked the bouquet straight into the trash and went about her day as if nothing happened. As if she wasn’t bouncing her leg non-stop while watching reruns on TV, or how distracted she was, or how Loreen kept shooting worried glances at her. As if she wasn’t practically vibrating anxiety off her being.

The flowers never stopped. Every morning a fresh batch was laid on the doorsteps, Loreen even managed to steal some and displayed them in a pretty little vase in her room. Out of spite, Adeline thought. She tried to stay vigilant and stand guard at the door, but then they would only appear elsewhere around the house. She knew then that there was no running from this.

Adeline would bet good money on who her secret admirer (stalker) was. She did not remember him as a stubborn man; but from the persistence of his action she had gathered what game he was playing at. This was an open challenge issued to her, a taunt, he wouldn’t confront her upfront. No, he was patient with his schemes and would strike only when the hour was ripe; he was the predator and her the prey now. And she was so so tempted to rise to the bait. But she must keep her cool, and not loose her mind. He might loose his interest in her yet.

In a century or two. Her treacherous mind taunted mercilessly.

Oh but how wrong was she.

The next taunt came the next day in the form of a book, Frankenstein.

Specifically, the exact copy of the cheap paperback edition she had left behind in Whitehorse months ago.

In a fit of hysterics, she threw open the front door and went all the way up to the front yard and bellowed into the empty countryside. “Leave me the fuck alone you sick bastard!”

Only later did she start to question.

How did he find her? How did he manage to track her down from Whitehorse to Minnesota and now Colorado? She was confident of her concealment ability.

So then, how?

*

From a distance, Jasper watched the girl sitting at the front porch, lacing up her roller skates. The child turned her heard, seemingly to answer someone inside the house before finishing up the rest of her laces. Then in trepidation she tested water with the first few step, before gaining confidence and propelling herself forward into the open road.

In her flowy sundress and a light cardigan, seemingly not minding the alpine chill, the child spread out her arms and laughed with her head thrown back, as if she were soaring amongst the wind instead. She seemed like any other child, if it weren’t for her scent, and that luminous skin in the morning light.

Jasper casually got out of his car and leaned against it, unsubtly observing the girl. That seemed to catch the child’s attention as she eyed him suspiciously while zipping past the first time; before turning round at the end of the drive and passing by again. If she was scared then she hardly showed it. After a few back and forth, she finally slowed a few meters from Jasper and regarded him cooly.

“Who are you?” Her asked in a sing-song voice. “If you’re here to sell cable or insurance or fire resistant something, we’re not interested.”

“Ah I see so you are the Madame of the house then, little lady.” Jasper chuckled and watched as the child pouted and crossed her arms, petulant at the name. Yes, she was like one of those children too smart for their own good, sharp witted but quick to anger. And much too trusting. “Fear not, I am only a friend. Tell me, do you live here with family?”

“Half siblings.” The child corrected.

“And is not your half-sister called Adeline?”

“And you are?”

“A long time... friend.” He hesitated after a second.

“Oh?” Now her voice was laced with suspicion.

Jasper smiled charismatically and exerted an air of reassurance over the child. “Do you think you can send a message from me to her?”

The child frowned, clearly reluctant. “Couldn’t you do it yourself? If you really are her friend. She’s in a mood these days and I don't want to cross anymore than I need to.”

“I don’t think she’d like to see me for now.” Jasper shrugged nonchalantly, as if he was not in fact stalking the said person, but simply had a disagreement with her over a conversation during bar night.

She narrowed her eyes at him again.

“What’s in this for me?”

Jasper bowed his head respectfully. “Of course there will be payment on my part. I shall be forever in your debt.”

She pursed her lips and pondered on the request thoughtfully. “If I am to be messenger,” She began slowly. “I’d like a year’s worth of Ben and Jerry’s. And a year’s subscription of Netflix!” She looked so haughty then, so proud of herself for striking a deal that he had to chuckle.

“Oh little lady.” He said in between laughs, somehow adoring the sweet innocence of the child. “You drive a hard bargain don’t you? Yes of course I promise.” He put a hand over his heart and bowed. “Cross may heart and hope to die.”

That seemed to satisfy the child and she grinned cheekily at him, no doubt pleased with her little bargain of free ice cream and Netflix films.

“Here.” He produced from his pocket a single map. And handed it to the girl. She eyed it suspiciously before taking in gingerly, their hands briefly touching. If she noticed his ice cold skin then she did not make a remark.

Instead her eyes flickered back to him and she chewed on her lips thoughtfully before finally opening her mouth. “I hope... I hope whatever it is between the two of you, all will be well soon.”

Momentarily caught surprised, Jasper straightened his stance and looked to the house in the distance with longing and tenderness.

“Yes I hope so too.”

*

“Oh Lorie you’re finally back. Fun time roller skating?”

Adeline was sitting on the sofa, in a bathrobe with blankets wrapped all around herself up to her head flipping through the channels at top speed.

“I met a friend of yours down the street.” Loreen announced.

“Friend? What friend-”

“Jasper.”

She froze at the name.

“Come again?”

“Jasper was here and he wanted me to pass on a message to you.” Loreen stated as-a-matter-of-factly and handed over the old map. She scrutinised her sister; watched as her face blanched before being replaced by red hot fury.

“What is the meaning of this?!” Adeline bellowed, crumpling the map into a tight little wall. “Where is he? Is he still out there now?!”

Loreen shrugged, trying to convey the message that she was just as clueless as the other was. “I’m sure he’s only just left.”

Adeline bolted out of the doors at once.

“Jasper!” She yelled like a lunatic, and searched frantically, not giving a fig what the neighbours would think. She had other pressing matters to be concerned of.

How dare he! How dare he approached her family, especially her innocent sister! He had already shattered her little peaceful life! That she could tolerate, and she supposed to some extent, she was reaping what she had sowed years ago. But preying on her young sister like that! He had no right! Absolutely no right! How dare he!

Hidden under the shades of the woods she took off in a blur, trying to locate the man. But the faint smell she caught whiff of indicated that he had long since been gone.

Still livid, she stomped her way back to the house.

First the flowers, then the book and now this map. Jasper; yes she was finally going to acknowledge this, that he was the same man she had met all those years ago, and that yes he was a fucking vampire now! And one with no fucking sense of boundaries! His message was clear and simple.

Don’t think that you’ve been forgotten. I know where you are and I will find you, whatever it takes. Or you can come to me, on your terms. You know where to find me.

She spread the crumpled map out.

Washington.

It was a state map of fucking Washington!

Like a flame being doused with ice cold water, she finally realised her mistake all those months ago. The hybrid child she had met in the clearing… That was how he had come to know of her. There was no doubt of it now. The child must have told her coven of their meeting, and either he was part of the coven, or he was on intimate terms with them. Either way, she had damned herself that day when she had decided not to trust her instincts to stay inland. And like dominoes, a little push had unknowingly caused the whole system to collapse on its own, the shockwaves continuing to reverberate in the aftermath of the disastrous meeting.

Adeline cursed and screamed in frustration.

Stupid! Stupid! She was so stupid! What was she to do now?! Engage? And she would be falling right into his laps without a fight. Run? But for how long? He had proven himself more than capable of tracking her somehow, it would be all for naught. He had a coven; and she had only her siblings. Siblings whom never got involved with her affairs, nor did she wish to involve into the mess. And especially not her youngest.

Frustrated, she flipped the map to find an actual written message penned in impeccable cursive handwriting. Which got her blood boiling immediately.

Do you have what it takes?

Self-righteous bastard! Well she’ll show him!

Adeline was in and out of the house in a flash, clothes changed. “Addie where are you going?” Loreen was by the door, obviously concerned.

“I’m going.” Her reply was short, clipped.

“At least wait for Anakin or Teddy.”

“No Loreen. I have to go. You’ll be fine on your own right?” Adeline tried to smile to relieve the tension, but evidently the tight-lipped smile only succeeded in agitating her sister more.

“I suppose yes. But-"

“Stay safe dear. I’ll see you in a bit.”

And she was out.

She refused to address her other concerns; like what did he want by actively seeking her out, or how did he even find her when she had made sure all her tracks were concealed? What did it mean for the two of them now that the other was all along alive and well? What would it entail for either parties from here on? What would father even do should he learn of this?

All of the what ifs and hows and whys were all overshadowed by her high-strung emotions. Her action was spurred into motion and further fulled by her fury at her former lover. Really, she lacked even a concrete plan of engagement which she seemed to be forgetting repeatedly in favour of the raging anger within her.

One she had not felt in years now.

*

“Are you sure she’ll come?” Edward asked.

“I’m sure.” Was Jasper’s curt reply, even if the doubt was weighing heavily down on his heart. He was back in Forks, back with his family where there was still some semblance of safety and control.

For nights, he had sat outside of Adeline’s little house in his car, just thinking and formulating, the best ways to engage her. He could knock on her door right then and there, and no doubt she would lose her shit, and everything would be fucked. Or he could catch her attention and lure her out back to where he felt safest, and should she decide to come along with then he would engage accordingly. At that time it felt like a decent plan, but now that he was home, the plan seemed stupid. Either way seemed like it would end pretty badly. In the end, he had made his escape early, had not stayed to see Adeline’s reaction at his subtle message. For fear of rejection, for fear of being unable to bear the disappointment.

He was such a coward.

And now he watched as his brother grimaced and frowned, clearly hesitating whether to speak his mind out or not, before finally making his mind up. “It’s just… are you sure about this?”

“About what?” Jasper said feigning ignorance.

“You’re taunting her.” Edward stared him straight in the eye, somewhat sternly. “Is this any way to court the girl you like?”

“Well, says the man who stalked his then classmate in her bedroom every night.” He shot back with barb, clearly annoyed.

Edward’s face soured and immediately stalked off the other way.

Offended.

Jasper sighed and ran a hand absentmindedly through his tangled hair, emotions all over the place. He knew he was an unwelcome presence in the house lately, practically vibrating off anxiety within a mile radius and affecting anyone within. It made the others nervous, stressed even. And everyone avoided him like the plague.

Bella and Edward had taken Renesmee to their little cottage so that the little one would not be affected. Carlisle had taken to working long hour shifts at the hospital and God knows where Rose and Emmett were.

And Alice... Alice was distancing herself from him.

She had taken to avoiding him, bluntly. She was never in the same room as he was. Had stopped being affectionate like she used to. Their interactions were reduced to light pats on his shoulder, fleeting hand touches, tight-lipped smiles that never quite reached her eyes. She was clearly hurting regardless of what she proclaimed. And to make matters worse, it was fracturing the family.

Emmett’s the-devil-may-care attitude can be reassuring, but Rosalie’s disdain at him was dully noted. Bella was torn and Edward was still suspicious of Adeline but somewhat more understanding of his predicament, although apparently he had just pissed off his last comrade. Carlisle and Esme were only concerned for the two of them, no doubt wanting the best for the pair of them.

And there was nothing he could do.

Alice had made the decision for the two of them.

But it tortured him as much as it killed her. She was the light in his pitiful life for years, his beacon in the dark night. She would never forgive him for all his betrayals just as he could never forgive himself for being the one to hurt her,

And now it pained him just as much to think of Adeline, of his plan to lure her out. He had known her like the back of his own hand then. Though what an irony that felt now. The one he had meant to share his life with, ended up being the one he had known the least.

While she can be sweet and lively, her temper seemed to have a mind of its own. And her heart always dominated in any decisions she made. She was open to persuasion, but would never bend to anyone’s will by force. Would react badly and lash out if forced.

And he had forced her hand.

Adeline would come, she must. Because if she did not, what then? He could go back to Alice and begged for her to take him back or he could continue hunting Adeline down, but then what? He could not force her into anything against her will, he would not. While he was no saint, he certainly was no monster to force himself onto her. She had only need to say the words, with steel in her resolve and he would begone as she requested, forever.

And should she have changed?

It had been more one and a half century since their parting, he had changed much. How did he expect her to remain the same? How did he expect her to remain steadfast in their love? Or its lack thereof?

He was torn between being content with simple ordinariness, or pursuing something more, something all encompassing and consuming, but also elusive which might end up being a gamble for nothing.

Either required him to make a blind leap of faith, though one was certainly more perilous than the other.

"I don't... I don't know what to do." He finally admitted aloud to Edward's retreating form, watched as the man turned to look back at him with narrowed eyes. "I have the choice... I have the choice to move on like she did, or I can continue to pursue her to the ends of the world, like some psychopathic stalker vampire..."

"But you don't want to be neither." Edward sighed sympathetically.

"No."

"And yet you don't want to let her go either."

"No, I don't either."

Jasper shot his brother a bittersweet smile before lapsing into silence. It felt embarrassing to tell Edward of his inner most thoughts, but at the same time there was something cathartic in finally sharing with someone what he thought.

"If there's anything I learnt from being with Bella," Edward said after a moment of thought. "It's that every relationship requires the investment of both parties. It's useless if she doesn't reciprocate your feeling."

Jasper quirked his lips ruefully. "Alice seems to think otherwise."

"Alice can't see the hybrid's future."

"No but I told her we might be soulmates."

"Well are you?"

"I don't know... I think so."

Jasper looked up to see Edward with a smug smirk aimed at him. "Well what do we have here? The cold and calculating Major Whitlock stumped for once because he's confused what to do with his lover-"

"Edward!" He protested loudly.

Ed laughed with mirth before holding up his hands in surrender. "I digress." Then his demeanor turned serious again. "Like I said, it requires two people to be in love. A soulmate bond doesn't automatically make her fall in love with you and vice versa. At the end of the day, it's just a bond. It ties the two of you together in this life, you can feel her, might even need her. But at the end of the day, it's for the both of you to decide if the both of you want to purse a more serious relationship, no?"

Jasper looked away, not wanting to meet his brother's intense gaze.

Had he considered what she wanted?

He loved her, still. But did she want him in the same way?

"I... tell me what I should do then?"

The proposition pained him physically and mentally and Jasper closed his eyes and swallowed harshly.

But Edward only looked at him with a tenderness and pity in his eyes.

"Do what's right, brother. Don't make it a regret of yours for eternity."

[smugzayn]

Breakfast?

It was gray, and the first cold fall day, and orange, and red, and yellow leaves peppered the New York City Streets. 

It smelled like rain and Harry’s dark coffee steamed from where he sat out on his balcony sipping on it and watching the hum of traffic 25 floors below. Harry had had it delivered just a few minutes ago. People thought he was too nice all the time. All sugar and no spice, but he drank his coffee black, and his abdomen hurt from pounding into his sweet, sweet assistant with the fat ass and long hair that was perfect for knotting his fingers into and bending over the side of his bed. 

He had thought about getting you a cup, too - his assistant. It had crossed his mind, but he had his lines in the sand. You were his assistant, and the ass he tapped, and very much not his girlfriend. You were a woman, his woman, but Harry Styles didn’t do girlfriends anymore. Too much conspiracy, too much trouble, too much. 

He took what he wanted from you, and you were all too eager to bend over, spread open, and open wide just for him. You both knew he was good for a great fuck, but his status as a boyfriend was much more questionable. 

He leaned back in his chair, taking a sip, and watched you pad out from the bathroom. A towel was wrapped around your chest, your feet left marks on the cool, marble floor, and you didn’t notice Harry’s eyes wandering hungrily up and down your body from the other side of the glass. 

He was hungry. He wondered if you would be up for breakfast. 

Harry told himself that next time, because there would certainly be a next time, he was going to tell you to shower in the guest room. It was too personal, having you loose the knots he put in your hair with his shampoo and run your hands all up and down your body in the same scent that he coated himself in. He was going to have to tell you to stock up the guest bath. You worked for him, after all. 

You pulled on an old t-shirt, one of Harry’s actually, and jumped when Harry knocked lazily on the glass with a knuckle. He took one last sip of coffee, set the glass down, and ran his hands through his hair as you slid open the door. 

“Yes?” you asked, feeling the cool breeze wrap around your body. 

“Breakfast?” Harry asked, standing to look over the balcony, reminding you again of how tall, and broad-shouldered, and big he was. 

His voice was cold, and gravely, and made your stomach twist. 

“Oh! Well yeah, I was going to go get breakfast. Do you want something in particularly? What are you hungry for?” 

Harry swallowed thickly, turning to just peep at you over his shoulder. He lowered his eyes. “Fuckin’ starved but I think we can just eat here.” 

There was silence while you tried to let the heat burn out of your face. Instead of acknowledging the implication, you diverted.

“How about I just go get us some food from that little bakery down the way. Maybe a pastry or a -” 

“Absolutely fuckin’ not.” 

God, he was infuriating. He would never just come out and say anything. Always made you dance around in nerves and embarrassment before he just bossed you into whatever he was going to do anyway. 

It pissed you off. 

“Harry, you had me tied wrist to ankle all night and I just spent 20 minutes combing through my hair and cleaning your - your - you know - you - off my body and now you’re not even going to feed me?” 

“Are you trying to shame me? Because I’m shameless. You should know that better than anyone, assistant.” 

Harry was toying with you. It was too much fun. He liked the way you got red in the face, and bit your lip in frustration, and your nostrils flared just slightly with irritation. It all reminded him of something else. It all seemed quite similar to the way you looked when he had your wrists tied to the bed frame, and his nose between your thighs, and his muscled arms holding you down just above your knees. Moaning and desperate for -

“Fine,” you clipped, pulling open the heavy door. “I will go alone, but then I am not coming back. I will see you at the office on Monday.” 

You tried to dramatically snap the sliding door shut behind you, but Harry’s hand was there to stop it in its track. 

“No,” his hand wrapped around your wrist. “Sit down. Now.” 

His voice was so firm, and demanding, and confident that you found yourself stepping back onto the patio before you had time to fully process his command. You still had time to roll your eyes in annoyance - you seemed to always have time to be annoyed with Harry. Nonetheless, his firm hands on your shoulders guided you down, somewhat roughly, into the empty seat. 

Harry considered that this was as good a time as any - he had been wanting to fuck you out here for a while now. 9am on a Sunday morning seemed like a perfect time for it, and the patio did offer some privacy. It was big, of course. He was Harry Styles. The patio wrapped around the whole side of his floor. While most of the railing was glass, Harry could kneel and be completely obscured from any viewers. You, on the other hand, well that’s exactly what made it so enticing. 

“What do you need Harry? I’m not in the mood.” 

“Well,” Harry clipped, leaning over you, his hair swooping to fall in front of his fact. “I’m going to fucking change that.” 

You sat there, back pressed flush against the chair, your arms folded firmly across your chest. Harry’s predatory behavior made your heart beat loudly in your chest, and the way you were watching him made him smile devilishly. His thumb reached out to pluck at your lip, grope down your neck, run across your breast. 

You broke eye contact to look away from him - refusing to give him the satisfaction. It was all for shit when his hand ducked under the hem of his shirt tp find that you weren’t wearing any panties. His eyes flashed with hunger. 

When you gasped as his first touch, he shook his head, and chided you. “Already so fucking wet. Was last night not enough for you, baby?” he smirked. “Ya always this wet fo’me? Don’t even need warming up?” 

“Fuck off, you prick,” you bit but your body leaned into his touch at the same time. “I am PMS-ing, me being wet has nothing to do with you.” 

You were lying and he knew it, but Harry growled anyways. His free hand wrapped into your wet hair and pulled until your head was arched back against the chair. “You’re lying,” he snarled and shoved a finger up into you in one thrust. 

Absolutely dripping for it. 

Harry’s laugh was dry and snarky and made your eyes absolutely roll with desire. 

His thumb dragged torturously over your clit and you knew that anyone who looked on the patio would be able to see how fucking sexed out your were and it made the butterflies in your stomach flutter maddeningly.  

Harry pulled completely away as his lips came crashing down onto yours - demanding and controlling. “Say you’re lying. Tell me you’re sorry. That you’re a fucking liar and you’re sorry.” 

“I’m not fucking apologizing for -” 

Harry’s fingers pressed into you again, as his other twisted your nipple harshly between his thumb and forefinger, and his mouth pressed into yours. He was everywhere - on your body and in your thoughts. You heart was beating for him, your brain was drowning in his touch, and you could earn back your respect later but, for now, it didn’t fucking matter. 

“I’m sorry,” you breathed, pulling Harry into you by a fist of his shirt and hand wrapped around his forearm. “I’m a fucking liar, and I’m sorry - I’m sorry -” 

He dropped to his knees immediately, just as desperate even if he would die before admitting it. His nose skimmed across your sex and your hands dug into his hair until he growled at you to sit on them. He pressed his thumbs into your folds, spread you apart, and pressed his tongue flat up against you. 

“Tell me you will always be in the mood for me. Say it.” 

You sighed in pleasure, or defeat, or complete submission. “I’ll always be ready for you.” 

Harry sucked in and threw one of your thighs over his shoulder. 

“You’ll do whatever I fucking say,” his breath was hot and his tongue flicked out to lick your clit. You groaned and cried in frustration when he stopped your hands from moving to his hair again. “Say it.”

You cried out, “I’ll do whatever you fucking want. Whatever.”

He laughed and it made your thighs quiver with desire. His tongue plunged into you. “Don’t fucking come until I say. Listen to me.” Your orgasm had felt controllable until you slowly processed those words in your brain that was drowning in sex and hormones. You had no control over anything. Your toes were tingling, and he thrust himself so far into you that you could feel the burn overcoming your senses. 

“Not until I say,” Harry warned and he felt your pussy tighten against his mouth. 

You screamed out his name, and Harry grew harder just listening to your desperation. You were his assistant but he fucking owned you. “Tell me who owns this pussy and then you can come,” he leaned back from you just ever so slightly, and it was just an act or cruelty and evil. When your hands reached out to grab at his hair and force him back against you, he wrapped them in one big hand and help them tight. 

“Fucking tell me and then y’can come. Come on, say it.”

You arched your neck back, made the chair creak with your effort to lean into him, and thrust yourself into his mouth. He sucked, and licked, and just nibbled at your clit until you screamed, “Fuck. Harry, you fucking own me. Oh my God - Fuck!” 

You came into his mouth. Your body clenching so tight and so overwhelmed with pleasure that you felt you might explode. Harry forced your legs still, otherwise you might have knocked him out as you shook and clenched around his mouth. He licked you through it - milking the orgasm from you slowly and heavenly.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Heheheh.....what if Sooga was a naughty boy for once and Kohga punished him by forcing him to wear a chastity cage 👁👁

Oooh, a BIT of an interesting one, given their skin tight clothing, but i do enjoy a challenge! 

Jealousy was a rotten emotion, and believe it or not, even someone as great as Kohga felt it. It shouldn’t have been anything that was that big of a deal, but for Kohga, it was. Kohga decided to join him during one of his fishing trips, more in support (seriously, HATED fish. Smelled like death, and was the only food that DIDN’T go with bananas). They were a couple now, more or less, so Kohga sucked it up, and joined Sooga. Five hours of nothing but sitting, smelling awful fish, and letting the salty sea air mess with his air. But hey, Sooga was happy, that was all that mattered. At least, he thought that was all that mattered. When Kohga left to go pick up some fruit (one of the Yiga clan members LOVED palm fruit, and they almost never got to have any), he came back to see Sooga talking with someone. It was no one important, but it bothered Kohga. He was some chubby man, talking it up with Sooga. He kept...touching Sooga. Kept gesturing to his biceps, to his core, and Sooga wasn’t repulsed.

Sooga just chatted away. Kohga didn’t even know what the conversation was about. Just that by the time he met up with Sooga, he heard the man say ‘You have such symmetrical features!’, all while feeling his arms. It wasn't the first time Sooga was treated like a piece of meat, hell, women went NUTS over him at bars and the like, but this was different. This was from a chubby MAN. Someone that, in theory, Sooga would find attractive. Even if it was an idle conversation, he didn’t care. He was the ONLY man allowed to touch him like that. And, get this, Sooga said ‘I’m flattered’. Who fucking cares if it was manners? What manners could you give to a damn HOMEWRECKER? One that could stand to shed a few pounds. Maybe a dip down a cliff would chip away some of those pounds. His thoughts must’ve been loud and clear, for Sooga FINALLY decided to say something.

“You want me to carry you, Master Kohga? You usually don’t float for this long.”

Kohga was SO mad, he didn’t even want Sooga to touch him. And yet, Sooga had NO idea why. Even as they walked back into their base of operations, Kohga refused to even look at him. Going so far as to lock himself in his room, and nearly slamming the door in Sooga’s face. One of the Blade master’s (who was always guarding his room) gave a small whistle.

“Never thought I’d see the day. Master Kohga, mad at YOU. How bad did you mess up?”

Sooga shrugged, genuinely at a loss.

“I’m not sure. Perhaps just the fact that he was out fishing with me today. I insisted he didn’t have to, perhaps he’s just mad he didn’t have a good time.”

The other shrugged his shoulders, leaning on the doorframe.

“Either way, I REALLY wouldn’t wanna be you right now, even if Master Kohga IS hot when he’s angry.”

Sooga decided to not acknowledge that, for the sake of not starting a fight and upsetting Kohga further.

“Just let me know if Kohga needs me.”

Little did he know, Kohga REALLY needed him.

---------------------------------------

Kohga was SO smart. So goddamn smart. After spending the night complaining to himself about the situation, he realized he couldn’t be mad at Sooga. Sooga was an absolute beefcake, of course he would get looked at, get groped like he was some hunk of meat at a butcher shop. That wasn’t Sooga’s fault. What WAS his fault, was not kicking that guys ass. But Sooga was too nice for that, too willing to please everyone around him. This required...disciplinary measures. And Kohga had just the thing.

“Sooga!”

It didn’t matter how far away they were from one another. Not even five seconds, and there was a knock at the door, before Sooga walked into his room.

“Master Kohga, you summoned me?”

“Yeah, close the door.”

Sooga obeyed, walking towards his Master. Kohga motioned for him to get on one knee, and Sooga obeyed. Kohga put one leg over the other.

“So. I’m guessing you’re wondering if I’m still mad.”

“Quite.”

“Well, I am. But not at you. Not at my precious little Sooga.”

Kohga grabbed onto his face, smacking his cheek just a BIT too roughly.

“I’m...not following, Master Kohga.”

“You remember that guy you were talking to yesterday? The fat guy?”

“Gotter, his name was.”

Oh, he remembered his name. Lovely. Precious. Now he had a name. Something for later. Kohga tried not to flip shit, before softly sighing. Easy, Kohga, easy.

“Yes. That guy. Did you...notice something odd, about that guy?”

He even gave Sooga a second to think. Sooga shook his head.

“Apologies, I didn’t. We merely struck up a conversation on food while I waited for you.”

Kohga had never felt so much self restraint. 

“Sooga...you try to be a good boy, I see that. You really...try.”

“Have I done something to upset you?”

Oh, he was acting stupid now. 

“Sooga...he was flirting with you. The whole time.”

Sooga was lost. He was expecting an apology, maybe some doubt. But his good boy appeared to forget his place. Because he, as straight faced as possible, spoke.

“I don’t think he was. I believe you’re just jealous, Master Kohga.”

He was going to show him some mercy. Maybe just a little bit of kindness for his blunder. But Sooga seemed to not even see the fucking problem. Kohga let go of his face, and gently smacked his index finger against his forehead.

“You shouldn’t have said that. You REALLY shouldn’t have said that, Sooga.”

Sooga opened his mouth to speak, before Kohga held his hand up, signalling him to silence. Kohga motioned for him to stand up, and Kohga followed suit, heading for his closet.

“I THOUGHT you were a good boy, Sooga. But you’ve been very, VERY bad. So, I’m going to fix that behavior, right now.”

Kohga finally got what he was looking for. He presented it to Sooga, who of course, looked lost. Kohga motioned for him to pull down the bottom part of his uniform, and he obeyed.

“Now, you’re probably wondering just what this is, Sooga. It’s a chastity cage. Since you think you can whore around, let some rando touch you when I’m not around, I’m not gonna let you have the privilege of getting hard. At all.”

Kohga tightened the straps around his hips, before finally zipping him up. Sooga stayed there, still and silent. As if being a good boy NOW would save his ass. Kohga zipped him all the way, and locked it, stuffing the key in his pocket. Sooga inspected it, clearly unsure what to make of it. It was essentially leather underwear- with a lock and key for reasons he clearly didn’t understand. It fit him rather snugly, and surprisingly enough, wasn’t very noticeable as he put his clothes back on.

“Are you happy now, Master Kohga?”

“Not yet, but I will be. Very soon, I will be.”

----------------------------------------

Sooga had no idea what had gotten into Master Kohga. After gaining his new present from him, he seemed back to his usual self. If anything, he was just far more affectionate towards him. Sitting on his lap, patting his cheek, and even praising him, even all throughout dinner. Was it any surprise that Kohga ordered him to take him back to his room, in order to take care of him? Absolutely not. Sooga thought everything was back to normal, as he was sitting here, kissing his Master’s neck, within the comforts of his bed.

“Aw, look at you, my Sooga. Such a pretty boy.”

Kohga didn’t seem to want to wait for long, and within mere moments, Sooga had started to suck and slurp at his cock, mumbling thank you’s the entire time. That was when he noticed the problem. He was usually on the floor, dripping with cum from his hardened cock. But his arousal was suddenly painful, forcing him into stopping, mainly from confusion.

“Master Kohga, I-i’m afraid I-”

“Can’t get hard. I know. You don’t deserve to get hard, not after the shit you pulled the other day. Now, I didn’t tell you to stop, did I?”

Sooga opened his mouth to argue, but chose silence. Surely Kohga would grant him mercy, right?

Wrong. Kohga pumped loads after loads of cum into his throat, pulling his hair, saying ‘i love you’, did EVERYTHING that he knew drove him crazy. But he wouldn’t get hard. Everytime he showed just the smallest hints of arousal, the leather pained him, forcing him to grow soft again. Sooga lost track of how many times he was forced to remain soft, even as Kohga just kept cumming. Kohga pumped another big, delicious load in his mouth, and Sooga squirmed in place, almost unable to enjoy it. Kohga pulled himself out of his mouth, chuckling as he patted his cheek.

“Aw, what’s wrong? Can’t my pretty boy get nice and hard for me?”

Kohga dug his heel right into his crotch, causing him to feel pinpricks of pain as his cock wanted desperately to get hard. Sooga was horny, honestly and truly, but he could NOT get hard. It was torture, it was agony. All of which, Kohga was enjoying.

“Sooga, up here, pretty boy.”

From a small chain, held the key for Sooga’s imprisonment. The thing that would free him this endless cycle of hell. He made a lunge for it, before it was quickly swiped from view, right into Master Kohga’s palm. Kohga clicked his tongue, shaking his head.

“Bad, bad boy, Sooga. Such a whore, you can’t even remember your manners.”

“M-master Kohga, I thought you liked it when I was hard.”

“I did. Then I realized, you’ll get hard for anyone. But since you’re mine, Sooga, I need to remind you of that. Your cock needs to be punished for wanting just some random guy we bump into.”

Kohga grabbed a hold of his throat, nice and tightly, and Sooga whimpered like a wounded animal. He LOVED it when Kohga choked him, right at that perfect spot, but the leather was keeping him from showing just how much he loved it.

“You let him touch you. You let him touch what was mine. And you’re going to pay-”

“Because you were jealous?”

Kohga would back hand him if he didnt have such a pretty set of lips. Kohga took a deep breath, before deciding to hop into his bed, hands behind his back.

“You want to keep being a bad boy, fine. Be a bad boy.”

“No no no! Please! I’m sorry!”

Sooga crawled up onto the bed like an apologetic puppy, whimpering as his body screamed for some type of release.

“I’ll be good! I’ll be a good boy! I promise!”

“Then I take it you want this key, then?”

Sooga ALMOST had the key that time. Almost had the thing that would finally let him cum for his Master Kohga. Kohga chuckled at his plight, clearly not in the mood to have a heart towards him.

“Alright. Grind against my dick. And say “I’m sorry I’ve been bad.”

Sooga did just that. He hopped onto his lap, grinding his ass right onto his master’s thick cock. The stupid leather was even keeping him from riding it, and just thinking about it made his cock ache against the leather, before forcing itself to grow soft yet again.

“I’ve b-been b-bad!”

“Again. In fact, keep saying it. Till it hurts.”

And hurt it did. Sooga kept saying those words till it was all he knew, as his cock hardened, softened, hardened, softened, in an endless, tortuous loop.

Sooga would NEVER be a bad boy, ever again.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #457

“blue are the words i say and what i think  /  blue are the feelings that live inside of me”

Do you buy your lingerie at Victoria’s Secret? No. That shit is so overpriced and not for my size group. Would you ever use an online dating service? I never would again. Are you good at multitasking? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Have you ever eaten Frosted Mini Wheats? Ugh, those are so gross. What does your bikini look like? You think THIS bitch wears a bikini??????????????????????? Does age really matter in a relationship? To an extent, yes. How much does the last person you kissed mean to you? I honestly don't even know if I'd be here without her. Almost like magic, Sara popped back into my life right after I returned home from the hospital following my suicide attempt. She helped make recovery possible as a solid source of support. Do you use lotion? Not NEARLY enough. My skin is so dry; I need to. Do you believe in teenage love? I experienced it deeply and thoroughly, so yes. Have you ever sat on the roof of your house? No. Do you like Sublime? I like that one popular one of theirs. "Santaria" or whatever it's called? What’s your favorite movie genre? Paranormal horror, especially the "found footage" type. It's creepy to imagine it being actually real. Is there a celebrity that you’d be willing to have a one night stand with? If he was single? I know in my gut I would lmaooooo Do you want to live in your current town the rest of your life? OH MY GOD PLEASE NO If you found out today your best friend was gay what would you do? She's demisexual, so. She can like anybody. If you could get a pet for free today-what kind/what name? A tegu, because it wouldn't need an enclosure that I don't have. I'd let it free roam. God, I can only imagine Roman's reaction. How many people have you slept with? If you mean what I think you do by "slept," one. Do you ever wish you had a family business to become a part of? Not really. What’s the most gruesome way you could come up with to kill someone? Hunny, have you seen my dark RP????? The world best be glad I'm a pacifist lmfao Do you think anyone deserves to die that way? I don't believe in torture, so no. If you had to fight for survival, what would your weapon of choice be? A gun, I guess? I'd want something with range and that's quick. I wanted to say a bow and arrow, but preparing another arrow after shooting once could really cost you your life. Where did you buy your favorite pair of jeans? I don't wear jeans anymore. Do you have a large dog? We don't have a dog, period. If not, are you afraid of them? No, I love big 'ole puppos!!!!! I just don't wanna own a dog myself. Are you good at playing darts? Holy fuck no, I have NO hand-eye coordination. I once stabbed the guy at a balloon popping booth thing with a dart in the arm, if that tells you anything, ooooooooooof. Do you like breaded chicken sandwiches? YESSSSSSSSS omg Do your parents know that/if you smoke? They know that I don’t. Have you ever been under a blacklight? Omg so in elementary school, we did this thing once where we all washed our hands as best we could and then put them under some sort of light (maybe a blacklight, idk???) to see JUST how resilient germs are. You gotta scrub the fuck out ya hands, people. How many pounds do you want to lose? I'd rather not share a number, but a lot. What’s your favorite natural phenomenon? The Northern Lights. Do you snore? Very surprisingly for someone with sleep apnea like mine, I actually don't. How many people do you know with the same first name as you? Off the very top of my head, one, but it's spelled differently. I KNOW I know of a shitload more Brittanys, though. Is it possible you could be pregnant? Well, I haven't been intimate with a man in years and just finished my period, so like- Could you go a day without texting? I go most days without texting. Do you have a step-parent? My dad is remarried, so yes. If so, do you get along with them? She's EXTREMELY Christian, so her beliefs wildly disagree with mine, but I keep my mouth shut a lot just to keep the peace. She IS a very sweet woman, nevertheless, and am glad she and my dad are so happy together. Does your current/last job require that you wear a uniform? My last job (which lasted not even two hours lol) did. When will your driver’s license expire? My permit has been expired for like... two years. Do you live in an apartment? No. If the last person you kissed proposed to you what would you say? That's too wild a concept to even imagine. I'd probably ask if she was okay lmao. Would you ever get back with one of your exes? Weeeelp, I want to get back together with Girt. Pretty badly. Write a foreign word, and what it means: "Schadenfreude" is a German term that essentially means secondhand embarrassment, but it doesn't have a perfect translation. Is there an ex you think about everyday? Inevitably. That's PTSD, my friends. Who is the last person that you said I love you to, besides family members? Sara. What's the worst thing you have ever said to anyone? Something along the lines of "no one could ever love you like I do." It boils my blood just typing that; I considered even deleting this question. That quote right there is fucking manipulation, even IF I thoroughly believed it. Who was the last person to comment one of your pictures? I don't feel like looking. Do you tend to go for older or younger when looking for someone to date? It's weird, I'm into slightly older-than-me guys, but probably girls who are barely a bit younger than me. Have you ever been used? I don't think so. Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head? Like I've said in plenty of surveys: Jason is probably a permanent fixture. But also as of the past two days, Girt's been living up there. I went from "hmmm I just don't know how I feel" to "FUCK I want to talk to him about how stupidly into him I am right this fucking INSTANT" pretty goddamn fast. It kinda scares me just because of how extreme my feelings are. Again. That's only ever gotten me hurt. Buuuut let's not get into that. Have you ever got caught cheating on a test? No, because I've never tried to. Will your next kiss be a mistake? I hope it won't be. But it's not like I know the future. Have you ever worn an oxygen mask? Actually yes, when I was young and thought I was having an asthma attack or something. Mom had one for her own asthma. Then I obviously wore one for surgery. What song do you want to be played at your funeral? "Paradise" by Coldplay is absolutely #1. How many swear words are in the song you’re listening to? I'm not listening to music; I'm back to watching Gab play Sekiro. What color was the last swimsuit you wore? Black. Have you ever kissed anyone of the same sex, and if so, who? Yeah, just Sara. Who did you last tell to ‘shut up’? Ha, I think my WoW friend Lyndsey, but only playfully, of course. We pick fun at each other all the time. Would you ever get a tattoo of a boyfriend/girlfriend's name? NOOOOOOOOO. Are you one of those girls who already have baby names picked out? I know what I'd name my kids IF I actually wanted any, yeah, but I don't. Do you think guys with long hair are attractive? Yessss, I love long hair on guys. Are any of your siblings taller than you? I think Ashley is a liiiiil bit taller? I know my brother is, for sure. Have you ever scared someone so badly that they cried? Yikes, no. When was the last time you wore high heels? Boy oh boy, no idea. Is there someone that you want to hurt right now? Jeez, no thanks. What was the most interesting or colorful birthday cake you’ve had? I don't remember, but I'm sure something from childhood. What was the last thing someone bought you? Was it expensive? Mom bought me food from McD's, which obviously isn't expensive. Do you have any interesting moles anywhere you don’t want people to know of? No. Have you ever gotten high or drunk in a really formal place? Strong "no" there. Do you ever write poetry and post it on any certain websites? On the very rare occasion I write poetry and actually like it, I'll sometimes post it on dA. What do you miss most about your childhood? Actually, genuinely having fun and not dealing with fucking anhedonia. Would you like to know the precise date of your future death? Hell no. Do you photograph well? I'd like to hope so. Are there any animals you flat out refuse to touch? Maggots and similar bug larvae. What super power would you refuse, if it was offered to you, and why? Mind reading. It just sounds... awful and overwhelming. What’s your favorite discontinued product that you wish would come back? Oh, I KNOW I have answers to this, just none are coming to me immediately and I don't feel like sitting here for five minutes thinking about it. If adults had show and tell, what would you bring into work? My snek! :') If you had a reset button for the last 10 years, would you press it? Tempting, but... I don't think I would. I cannot go through how deep my depression was again. Who is someone you would never swear in front of? My nieces and nephew. Yes, I don't believe in profanity being a "thing" and is just a stupid human fabrication, but nevertheless I acknowledge societal standards and expectations, and they're way too young to get when you shouldn't say something like that and why. Have you ever won a contest or competition? A few. Who is your favorite TV character? I don't think I really have one? Do you coo over other people’s babies? Not really, no. Sometimes I'll think they're super cute and be like "awww," but I don't like... squeal and spaz like some people do. What is something that makes you very squeamish? VOMIT. Has there been a celebrity death that really affected you? Steve Irwin got me deeper than anyone else. Chester Bennington hit real hard, too. If you’re out of high school, have you stayed in touch with your high school friends? If you’re still in school, do you think you will? Most of my closest ones, yes, at least via Facebook. What’s a movie that you want to see? Old movie, but Jacob's Ladder. It was a massive influence on Silent Hill, so naturally, I'll probably love it. It's a classic, anyway. Do you use the same username everywhere online or do you have a lot? I use "Ozzkat" in most places, but I do have some other ones for different sites. Who was the last person you know who became pregnant? My friend Ana recently revealed she's expecting her second child, a boy. What fad were you actually into? I have zero clue. Have you ever tailgated? Would you want to? Fuck no. That's how so many wrecks happen. My sister legit got in a wreck with an 18-wheeler mostly because she was tailgating (which she does BADLY); she was trying to pass, and he moved over at the same time because he couldn't see her coming around. It's a borderline miracle she got out with only some cuts, bruises, and a seatbelt burn. Have patience, people. Get off cars' asses. Why did you fall for the last person romantically? Look, don't get me started on this. There are a shitload of reasons and I have been way too emotional over this the past few days laksdfja;lwke What’s the last thing you had to eat? A bagel w/ cream cheese for breakfast. Do you ever pick up your house phone? We don't have a landline phone. Truth be told, are you more into looks or personalities the most? Personalities, for sure. I cannot be into you if your personality isn't attractive.

[makeste]

I just took that Bakugou introspection as Horikoshi's way of telling the audience that yes Bakugou can keep up with OP Deku because there has been so much muttering across the fanbase that Bakugou won't be able to. I don't see the melodrama of Bakugou only seeing his strength as a means to keep up with Deku or that his pride is problematic. I think him having an idea for his hero names means he knows what his strength is for. He's always been strong as a person (when Deku was not) (pt1)

Losing his quirk doesn't need to be the gateway to force him to develop the kindness and consideration he's already been showing, nor would it be karmatic balance between him and Deku- especially when any scenario that takes his quirk benches him from the story or cheapens the stakes by him getting it back relatively fast. Deku's 15 years of quirklessness can't be balanced. Additionally, Bakugou only lost in the story when he was too close minded to learn, once open minded he started to (pt2)

grow. It doesn't send out a good message, if after all that growth he still gets punished. His declaration of spirit to not lose, be it to Shigaraki or Deku is not a bad thing, he is the underdog with an indominable will and he is declaring his spirit as the symbol of victory. Bakugou may lose his quirk, I don't know, but your reasons I disagree with because we interpret those panels differently. They give the audience a point of reference to guage Bakugou's ability.

you make some excellent points, anon! and you see, it’s strange, because up until this chapter and his monologue, I was in full agreement with most of what you’re saying -- that he’s already figured out all of that hero biz, that he’s already in the process of sorting his shit out on his own, and that Horikoshi is simply waiting for the right moment to finally show it.

but after reading his internal dialogue in this chapter, I’m just not so sure anymore.

in the past I’ve done a lot of guesswork on Kacchan’s thought processes based on his subtle little actions and microexpressions, and on what we’ve already been told about his character thus far. I call it “guesswork”, though, because it very much is that, because we so rarely get an actual glimpse into his head to see what he is really thinking. so when Horikoshi actually does give us one of those rare glimpses, I’m inclined to pay very close attention, and prepared to make any necessary adjustments to my current understanding of his character if need be. he is very, very complicated, and despite my spending an absurd percentage of my free time analyzing him up and down and front to back, that absolutely doesn’t mean that any of those analyses are actually right, lols. I’m constantly updating my internal databank of Kacchan knowledge both from interactions with the rest of the fandom, and -- when Horikoshi actually deigns to give us some new information -- from the canon itself.

anyway! so when I read this chapter and saw Kacchan yet again comparing his progress to Deku’s in his head, and thinking -- even now, even in the moments right before an intense battle!! -- only about his rivalry and about keeping up, that immediately set me to updating my mental bakuwiki in regards to his current character growth status. so he definitely has his hero name picked out already, we know that much. and so presumably has thus already figured out what kind of hero he wants to be. right? right.

and yet he still apparently has not revealed the new name to anyone. even after three months. like yeah, we get it, you made a promise to tell Jeanist first, etc. fair enough, but still! it’s an interesting bit of hesitation to take note of. and then there’s also the matter of Horikoshi’s interview from back in December (which I’ll link in a comment once this is posted), where he talked a lot about Bakugou and made a point of saying that his character growth wasn’t done yet, and that he still needs to apologize to Deku. which is as good a confirmation as any that such an apology is indeed forthcoming.

so why, then, does it seem like we’re still no closer to that moment, even after Kacchan seemingly had a mysterious epiphany at the end of the internship arc, and even after we subsequently went through a three month time jump? Kacchan isn’t one to be slow about it when he decides to make progress. his growth in all other aspects has come by leaps and bounds. and yet when it comes to his relationship with Deku -- his friendship with Deku, except that he still can’t bring himself to acknowledge that’s what it is, and insists on thinking of it as only a rivalry -- it seems like he reached a certain point, and then just... stalled. like he’s not willing to go any further past this. and there are many reasons for why that may be the case. but at the root of all of them is pride.

and I’m not saying he needs to give up that pride, because that’s a huge and very important part of who he is. you said his declaration of spirit not to lose isn’t a bad thing, and I agree. but that doesn’t always make it a good thing either, and I don’t want to get so swept up in my love of the character that I start refusing to acknowledge the downsides of that trademark pride as well. pride, like anything else, is nuanced. it can be both good and bad. it’s good when it motivates you and pushes you to do your best and to achieve your goals. but it’s bad when it makes you inflexible, and when it prevents you from taking actions which would benefit you and others, just because doing so would mean humbling yourself in a way that is scary and which feels like it runs counter to your ultimate goals. because you want to be someone who always wins. and so any time you do experience a loss, you go through an entire mini-crisis, because it feels like your very purpose in life is being threatened.

I don’t know if “problematic” is the word I would use for this aspect of him. I feel like that word is fairly overused, especially in fandom, and now has certain connotations of “this is objectively bad behavior which should be called out and shunned.” and I don’t think that’s the case at all when it comes to Kacchan’s pride. he’s already learned how to put it aside in order to work with others and save others. and that’s great! he already is a great hero by this point, imo. if Horikoshi decided to just end his character arc here and not take it any further, I would actually be just fine with that.

but I think that there is still the potential for more. I think that we are still not done here yet. because this manga consistently surprises and amazes me with the way it goes the extra mile when it comes to character development. Kacchan and Deku didn’t have to reconcile their differences and learn to respect one another after only 120 chapters (I say “only” in a very sincere and not sarcastic sense here, because that really is an insanely short timeframe compared to most other manga). but they did. Endeavor didn’t have to see the error of his ways and decide that he wanted to become a better person, and he definitely didn’t have to be shown apologizing and admitting his wrongdoings and even going so far as to back out of his family’s lives for their sakes and even build them a house so they could move on apart from him. but he did! and that’s insane, you guys. name me another series that goes that hard in trying to redeem a guy whom virtually every single member of this fandom would have once described as ultimately devoid of any redeeming qualities. I can’t think of any.

but BnHA is just like that. it goes hard. it doesn’t back off. nothing about its character arcs is remotely half-assed. and so if a character is showing signs that they are still angling for more growth? that there are still things they need to learn? then I’m inclined to think we are going to roll up our sleeves and get that growth, one way or another.

this story consistently amazes me because whenever I look at a certain aspect of a character’s development and say to myself, “oh hey, that’s pretty awesome, even if it’s still not ideal,” Horikoshi goes and nudges it down another notch towards being ideal. like, the dude just doesn’t settle. and so that’s one of the reasons why I’m convinced this is a very real and even likely possibility. because this kind of development, to me, would be very, very, very close to my ideal. is it strictly necessary? absolutely not. would it fucking blow my mind as a development, however? I kinda think it would, ngl.

-- that is, with the one addendum that since I do love my son very dearly, I wouldn’t want it to actually be permanent. so in order to be truly ideal, such an arc would also have to include a way for him to climb back up again after experiencing that fall. which some might find contrived or “cheap”, as you put it. but that’s a risk I’m very selfishly and biasedly game for all the same, lol. I am more than willing to occasionally suspend my sense of disbelief in the name of character development, and honestly, I don’t actually think it would cheapen the stakes in any way, because just because Kacchan’s main character status gives him cool perks like a one-time get-out-of-losing-your-quirk-for-free card doesn’t mean the same would apply towards anybody else. and for that matter, it wouldn’t detract from whatever soul searching Kacchan does during that period while he fully believes that he will be quirkless for the rest of his life, either. it doesn’t have to be permanent in order to have a permanent impact.

lastly, in regards to it balancing things out between him and Deku, I don’t mean that Kacchan becoming quirkless would (a) be some sort of necessary and deserved punishment for him, or (b) be even remotely equivalent in any kind of way to what Deku experienced while growing up. that is very obviously not the case, and I can’t stand that kind of thinking, that redemption is only about punishment. maybe “karmic” isn’t the word I should have used then; I meant it as a way of signifying something spiritual in the push-pull balance between the two of them, not in the “what goes around comes around you were a jerk and now you’ll finally understand what it feels like” sense of the word. that’s a big yikes, lol. so yeah, just to clarify that part of it!

what I mean by balance is that it would serve as a catalyst to Kacchan finally being able to understand Deku’s side of it. finally being able to see things from the point of view of his rival-friend who’s had the exact opposite arc as him in terms of what he had to do and go through and learn and unlearn to get this far. it would serve as a means of finally bridging that one last gap of understanding between them. it would bring things back into balance because it would bring them back into balance, by giving them the push to finally mend that one last broken part of their former friendship. the part that’s still untouched by both of them, because they’re both afraid of disrupting the current semi-stable truce that they have now in their relationship. even if it’s not perfect. not, if you’ll pardon my use of the word yet again, ideal.

tl;dr I see Bakugou’s introspection as being a lead-in to something potentially game-changing both because I want it to be, and because, as strange as it may seem, the manga has conditioned me to think this way now. to have expectations. to anticipate more depth, more growth. so it may be the case that in this instance I’ve taken those expectations too far and I need to temper them back down and swing them in a less angsty, more traditionally shounen direction. and like I said, if that does wind up being the case, I won’t be upset.

but maybe, just maybe though, this manga will in fact go there once again. if for no other reason than that it can. “Horikoshi really went and did that” is a sentence I’ve gotten very used to typing since I started reading this manga. and so, well, let’s just wait and see.

[dearcat1]

Boss’ Responsibilities

Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn

Relationship: Sawada Tsunayoshi & Vongola Tenth Generation, Sawada Tsunayoshi & Xanxus

.

To be honest, Tsuna’s sense of personal boundaries died a painful but slow death at the hands of Reborn, who has yet to stop randomly showing up to sleep in his bedroom, and the rest of Tsuna’s guardians. All of them seem to believe that whatever belongs to Tsuna, including Tsuna himself, is theirs too by default.

Dino has the same problem.

So when Timoteo puts Tsuna under Xanxus’ command for a year (”to strengthen bonds, my boy”), Tsuna takes the same attitude with him to the Varia castle. Which means that one day when he’s cold as hell and discovers all of his hoodies stolen, he sees nothing wrong in going right ahead and stealing one of Xanxus’ in turn. Xanxus is his boss right now, isn’t he? Tsuna is entitled to this.

It’s way too big on him but it’s also warm and nice and smells likes Tsuna’s temporary boss. Tsuna loves it, he thinks he might understand now why his guardians are so set on stealing his things. By this point, Tsuna has already been under Xanxus’ command for about three months and, as a result, has learned to associate this smell with safety and warmth and grumpy looking-after.

He falls asleep with his nose buried inside the fabric of his stolen hoodie under his mountain of equally stolen blankets. It’s nice, he decides, when he wakes up, all warm and refreshed and somehow relaxed even as the Varia dissolves in chaos around him. Not that it’s very different of the chaos his own house had been turning into but it’s still mostly startling to wake up to screams and death threats. 

Not this time, though. This is Tsuna’s free day and Tsuna plans on enjoying it fully, so he burrows deeper into his bed, most of his face hidden under the hood, and tries his hardest to go back to sleep. 

Waking up hours later, dangling from Xanxus’ grip with a red-eyed glare aimed his way, would be scarier if he wasn’t so used to it by this point. Xanxus takes in the hoodie, Tsuna’s entirely unrepentant look and the mess of blankets on the bed and then snorts. “Wake up, baby-trash. Training.”

Tsuna doesn’t bother complaining, he’s learned by now that Xanxus’ idea of a free day is sleeping in a couple of hours more before work. He does, however, carefully hide his stolen hoodie so nobody steals it from him. He also leaves a sticky note with a warning because sometimes those work better. 

Somehow, it becomes a habit after that. It’s like having stolen the first one opened the dam, now Tsuna feels absolutely no shame in doing so time and again. Even when he doesn’t really need to because he somehow has far more hoodies, blankets and pillows than he remembers ever buying. 

He has never had blankets and hoodies coming in faster than his guardians can steal them, it leaves Tsuna with a strange thrill and a sort of appreciation for Xanxus’ budget. He vaguely wonders under what category this expense is under. 

Luckily for everybody (Tsuna has a temper even if he refuses to lose it at every little thing), nobody steals from Tsuna’s somewhat rotating stash of stolen Xanxus’ hoodies. He just… likes the smell, ok? Sue him. And he knows the pain of being left with no hoodies at all, so he just returns some as he steals others. It’s a working system. 

Xanxus keeps sending him looks but Tsuna refuses to acknowledge them. Reborn said that a boss has to take care of the needs of his subordinates and Tsuna needs these hoodies, ok? They’re good for his stress levels and overall comfort. Say anything you want about Xanxus, he takes care of his people and right now Tsuna is one of his.

So, hoodies.

The day Chrome simply shows up in his room is a day like any other. Tsuna is just back from a mission he had with Lussuria, to whom he had gracefully lent one of his stolen hoodies because the usually enthusiastic man seemed to need the comfort. 

Chrome herself looks ready to burst into tears, so Tsuna nods to himself and changes gears. He can’t be subordinate-Tsuna right now, he needs to be boss-Tsuna. He takes a good look around and decides that he needs more space than this. With Chrome here, it’s just a matter of time before Mukuro shows up.

With both guardians here and Takeshi already slanted to show up at some point during the day, the rest of them will sooner or later be attracted back to them. Whatever boss radar they have going is crazy accurate. Tsuna has stopped questioning it a long time ago. 

Having decided that, Tsuna takes Chrome by the hand and guides her to the living room. There will be enough space there. All of the Varia are already in the room, watching some sort of show but Tsuna ignores them other than noting that they should stay away from blocking the TV. 

He builds a bastard child of a pillow-fort mixed in with a bed, pulls Chrome into it and pulls his worn hoodie over his shoulders to offer to her. She takes it and sniffles as Tsuna rearranges the blankets around them both, spotting Xanxus’ uniform jacket on the couch, he steals it for himself. Tsuna thinks he might have heard a whispered “what” but it was too low to really tell. 

Tsuna is in the middle of murmuring comfort to her, ignoring the weight of Mukuro on his back, by the time Takeshi finally arrives.

“Heey Tsuna! Squalo!” As cheerful as ever, Takeshi strides into the room, “oh? are we puppy piling?” Without waiting for an answer, he leaves and comes back with an armful of pillows. 

The brand new pillows that Tsuna kind of adores. Tsuna groans, “I liked those, too.”

Takeshi ignores him, of course, flops on the bed by Tsuna’s right side and drops an arm over the entire pile of them. At some point, Tsuna falls asleep, warm under all the bodies and with Chrome’s soft breath warming his neck. He wakes up hours later by some sort of Reborn-instilled paranoia to find the Varia looking at them and a pleased-with-himself Reborn.

It’s better not to question it.

Little by little, his guardians start waking up too. The first ones to leave are Chrome and Mukuro, who are probably off to create chaos and mayhem in the name of revenge. Tsuna can’t be bothered to care as long as it doesn’t come back to bite any of them in the ass.

Gokudera is next, surprisingly, and he drags Ryohei with him. Tsuna doesn’t lift a finger until Lambo reaches for Xanxus’ stolen coat. Most of the pillows and blankets are gone already. Chrome took Tsuna's hoodie with her.

Tsuna bares his teeth then and snatches the coat back.

“Big brother Tsuna!” The brat has the gall to complain but Tsuna is not moved.

“My boss, not yours.”

Thankfully, Lambo doesn’t push it and Tsuna busies himself with cleaning up the mess left in the living room, carefully working around Takeshi’s still sleeping form. 

“What.” Xanxus repeats louder once all the awake brats are gone from the living room, Tsunayoshi still holding on to Xanxus’ coat.

“I,” Reborn informs them smugly, “am running a social experiment. It seems to be working.”

“What the fuck.”

[docholligay]

Om Shanti Om

If you have no time to read any other aspect of this review/post: If you loved Moulin Rouge, you’ll love Om Shanti Om. This is a very very spoiler-lite review, but also, it’s on Netflix RIGHT NOW.

I was commissioned to stream this by @thepreciousthing, and I had seen it before, on her recommendation, actually, but I was drunk in the tub when I watched it and had missed some of the finer details. I remembered the broad strokes of the story and that it was a load of fun, but I’m glad I got to watch it again! 

I like Bollywood very much, in the same way that I like Takarazuka: I recognize that it is pretty, that it is fun, and that I may need to gently place my brain in a box at the door, to be retrieved later. What I will give Om Shanti Om is it has one of the more coherent storylines of any Bollywood film I’ve watched, and also seems very cognizant of how silly and melodramatic Bollywood is, in a way that say, a movie like Jodhaa Akbar doesn’t really acknowledge. This gives it a lot of heart and grounds it in a way I haven’t found in a ton of Bollywood films. 

Om Shanti Om is a three hour movie that is really two movies in one. Two movies with a vastly different tone, central conflict, and finale. You could watch them separately and almost be like, “Yeah, that was pretty enjoyable.” You would think having there be such a shift would make the movie awkward, but I don’t find it so. It’s almost as if you’re reading the novel and the sequel one after the other, but the sequel was thought of before the novel was a hit. The movie always knows where its going, and this is to its credit. 

It is IMBUED with the sort of hypersaturated dramatics and musical theater that make Moulin Rouge such a fucking hit with me, and it took me FOREVER to figure out what I loved so much about this movie over and above liking Bollywood in general, and I think that’s it. It’s a got a REALLY similar feel to it to Moulin Rouge, if Moulin Rouge was slightly sillier in tone. But the level of OPERA LEVEL drama while being AWARE that it’s indulging in that, the very earnest protagonist who in any fair world would be a butch lesbian, the interweaving of love and tragedy, I think it hits that “formula” that I find weirdly, very difficult to find, but I love so much. I basically crave modern opera!! 

Om Prakash himself is a delight in that he very much plays against what I would consider much of the standard Bollywood type: He is well-meaning, smitten and kind, but he is a low-hanging actor without much to his name, he’s not particularly masculine and tough, he constantly screws up and has a very winning sort of loserliness to him. He has very strong Haruka energy, I will say, in that he is very brave, and tries very hard, and sometimes cannot find his ass with both hands. Also he sings dramatic peans in white peasant shirts that are half open at one point, which I think we all know if Haruka had her druthers, is exactly where she’d be. 

I also find his best friend Pappu to have strong, strong Mina energy and there is a situation that comes up in the course of the movie that DESPERATELY makes me want to rewrite this in my copious fucking free time that I obviously have why are there not two of me, one of whom who can write better than I am currently writing. 

STOP READING NOW IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO WATCH. IT’S ON NETFLIX. THINGS I CONSIDER MORE SPOILERY ARE BELOW. 

The story does not go where you think it will. I almost didn’t say this, because I suppose I consider that a spoiler in itself and I have no desire to steal the “Wait, WHAT???” I experienced from anyone, because it really is a delicious HARD LEFT. But I generally am good at story beats anyhow, and Bollywood AIN’T EXACTLY FULL OF SURPRISES (in case anyone is like ‘OH AND LIKE AMERICAN ACTION MOVIES ARE’....no, no they are not) so I was genuinely shocked by where it ended up veering. Delighted! But surprised as all hell. 

Om Shanti Om uses the resurrection trope in a way PEOPLE, NAMED DOC, WHO ARE ME, found satisfying. If you know anything about me you MUST understand what high fucking praise that is, because it is something I generally HATE. I was expecting them to pull an entire destined lovers thing, but they do not! More surprises from a movie that seems to both love and love to make fun of the entire Bollywood genre, while still telling a story that weaves together tragedy and revenge while still letting some things be left up in the air and not “neat.” 

But honestly if you watch it for no other reason, please watch Om Shanti Om for the final song, which @thepreciousthing called, “Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 2, The Murder of Gonzago, in 7 minutes” which is the best joke about the movie that was made that entire night, I still laugh thinking about it because it’s completely right. If you do not get the reference, you’re probably cooler than the two of us, and also, don’t spoil yourself. Unless you refuse to watch this. In which case, who are you and why do you hate love and enjoyment? 

OM DESCENDS ON A FUCKING CHAIR FROM THE CEILING DRESSED IN ALL WHITE. HARUKA WOULD WATCH THIS AND FUCKING ASPIRE. 

Anyway, I found a version of the final song without the subtitle on it so you can technically watch this and not really be spoiled unless you speak Hindi. If nothing else convinces you to watch this movie, please let this absolute banger of a song do it for you. The drama! The tune! The passion! THE COSTUME CHANGES! I fucking love this song and I am so glad I was reminded of it. 

As of right this moment, sitting here now, I would call this my favorite Bollywood movie I’ve ever seen. Sometimes when y’all recommend and commission shit I get such GLORIOUS jewels that I have no fucking idea how I missed.

[wizardrywilting]

my favorite quotes from give me silence

ch. 1:  Let her rephrase, a very pretty Muggle girl named Eloise Mary Howard. --- It should be noted that Lydia was mentally compiling her will. --- Arthur Weasley was running towards her, dressed in some combination of a pantsuit and clown costume. --- Immediately, they covered the pranking product they’d been working on with a quilt, this catching it on fire. --- The twins snapped their gazes to each other, then jumped up and grasped hands. They jumped, the wooden floor thudding beneath them. By the time they had finished cheering and jumping, Mrs. Weasley had hollered at them twice, Percy yelled four times, and Lydia was blushing. --- Fred set his chin in his hand. “Tell us everything .” --- “Ginny! You don’t knock on strangers’ doors!” --- (Yes, Colin did get a photo of Neville licking a napkin, stress written on his face. It was hilarious.) --- “You’re the oldest of us, which means you’re the responsible ones.” The twins looked horrified at the idea, and Lydia laughed herself silly. --- Even though it was so cute and honestly, the fur would be cheaper to knit than yarn was - that is to say, on the way back home Chio had already shed enough for them each to have a handful of fur. --- Neville had glitter on his eyebrows, and he was attempting to blink it away from his eyes, face contorting in funny ways. Chio’s fur was doused in blue and purple glitter. Lydia herself had glitter in a smattering of multicolored freckles across her nose and cheeks.  ---

ch. 2:  “If you need me to pick the liquor cabinet’s lock I know how.” --- Mrs. Weasley sighed. “Did they break a window?”  “Uh...We fixed it?”

---

Where Lydia came from, albeit not a traditional family, you learned knife tricks and pressure points to incapacitate someone.

---

“I know. We just never see eye to eye.”

 “No one can meet your eye, you’re too tall.”

---

 “Have good, British dreams, Lydia.”

---

But we’re not...not that.”

 “Of course not, she’s only thirteen. But dear, perhaps you should acknowledge that you fancy her. Merlin knows we all noticed.”

---

It was, quite frankly, concerning. Was this a heart attack?

---

Fred was chuckling, the prat. “Just glad to see you, his brain cells have given up. Wait a minute.”

---

Was she seriously apologizing for a hug? What?

---

“Merlin, I miss you. It was so boring with all the boys. I think I lost some estrogen.”

---

 “Lydia, love, you look like a pixie.”

---

ch.3:

She had wanted to stay behind and ask a few questions, maybe pull out her pocket knife, the usual sort of thing, when she noticed Neville struggle to stand, shaking like a fucking tree branch during a tornado.

---

“Neville, I would make God bleed for you.”

---

Were they twice her size? Yes. Would she still rip them a new one? Absolutely.

---

What right did a little kid with blood in her teeth and something called an ele-friend have to her heart?

---

Madam Pomfrey was smiling at her. Lydia didn’t like it.

---

Sighing, Madam Pomfrey faced Lydia again. “As you were deflecting?”

---

It was a nice painting, surprisingly well done. Lydia’s face was in the foreground, getting smacked in the face by Natalie’s wand, while the girl herself was cheering in the background. The blood on her face was surprisingly realistic. Up in the top left corner, Natalie’s attackers were out cold, various painted injuries littering their bodies.

Lydia felt strangely warm.

---

Lydia beamed. “It’s more like insane. To be stupid you have to have brains. Luckily, I left mine in the dorm today.”

---

 “You called her Minnie.”

Lydia quickly realized her mistake.

 “N-No, I didn’t!”

 “You did,” they sang, “You called her Minnie! We’re rubbing off on you!”

---

Poppy smiled and thus began their weekly gossip. She did so love this child. If only she could tell her.

---

ch. 4:

As with every other Halloween, really the day must be cursed, things go to shit.

---

That does beg the question, why are magical people so determined to risk their lives? Is it a universal thing?

---

Was it petty? Absolutely. Had she gotten caught yet? Of course not, who did you take her for, Parkinson?

---

Harry shrieked like a mandrake, and Lydia quickly sent a spell to silence him.

---

“You. You’re a girl.”

She raised her eyebrow at the log-turned-Sirius-Black. “And you’re not a dog anymore. I’m glad we’ve established that.”

---

He paled a little at her smile, and stepped backwards. “I’ll uh, I got nothing. Oh, look, Sirius! Let’s shift focus to him.”

---

Something seemed to click. “So you’re the kid that sent me a letter with threats.”

---

“First of all, you’re terribly hard to kill, Harry,” Lydia sighed, shifting to sit more directly in front of the fire, “Secondly, think about this. There’s a couple hundred more students than normal, and everyone thinks the kids underage are safe, because why would Dumbledore’s magic ever be faulty? There’s a fourteen year old kid, he looks pretty defenseless, especially now that he’s been lulled into a false sense of security. He probably thinks he’s safe, with the age spell and loads more people that could protect him if Voldemort gets inside Hogwarts again. This would be the perfect time to strike - lots of people to blame, a tournament that could be found at fault, and an old man’s magic coincidentally not working. I’m just saying, if someone’s been after you for awhile and hasn’t succeeded...now’s the time.”

Sirius chuckled nervously. “You’re not a Slytherin are you?”

---

“Are they being mean again?”

 “Who’s they? I don’t know anyone named They. What a weird name, They-”

---

Aria sighed and flopped onto a space between the bridge’s arch where there was a bench. Colin grabbed her elbow so she didn’t do something stupid like fall through. That had to be a safety hazard, right? Was there no safety inspector for Hogwarts?

---

It seems like Ginny was going to get to try out that new boils curse she’d just learnt after all.

---

It was very hard being a Triwizard contestant. Well, that was kind of a lie, and Cedric didn’t lie. Unless it was to tell his dad he was excited for a Ministry job, that is.

---

There were downsides to being a Triwizard Champion too, of course.

-There’s barely any time for friends.

-No alone time.

-Mum cries whenever she sees you, you’re not sure if she’s proud or scared.

-There’s potential for trauma, but hey, it’s writing material.

-You could die or be seriously injured. You’re trying not to think about that.

-The other Hogwarts champion was entered without their own free will and now might be getting bullied and you feel overwhelmed with the guilt.

---

“Cut ‘im some slack, Lyn. He’s got so much to worry about. His adoring fans, for example.”

---

She slugged his arm. “Don’t get smart with me, your job is to be pretty. It’s Lydia’s job to be smart.”

---

George nodded at the three Hufflepuffs. “Pretty Boy, Pretty Boy’s friends.”

---

 “I stand by what I said, purple glitter jazzes up my comforter.”

---

 “Lydia, how are we gonna get down six floors?”

Lydia snorted. “Prayer, Colin. I’m personally praying to Yoshi.”

---

“You know you need the sleep, young lady. Now, fret until ten o’clock.”

As Madam Pomfrey left, covering the snoozing Colin with a blanket, she heard a mutter. “I don’t fret.”

---

ch. 5:

Heidi glared, picking up her cup full of ice cubes and popping one into her mouth with a loud crunch.

---

“Might as well break the rules for a good cause, right?”

---

Ginny gasped. “Oh no, am I gay? I feel gay.”

---

George is running away from the Durmstrang students, and I should go save him before he gets mauled. I told him not to charm their hair and skin orange, but he didn’t listen.

---

Oh, is that Hermione sounding disappointed? Surprising.

---

Glancing to where Alicia and Katie had been flirting all afternoon, she winked.

---

“I set the books to become inanimate again when he apologized to Hermione.”  “He, ah, refused to until blood started dripping into his socks.”

---

“he won’t let me go with Priscilla.”

Ginny leaned across the table. “You mean Lee’s tarantula?”

Lee nodded. “Match made in heaven, I say. But you know how it is, star crossed lovers and all.”

Ginny blinked very slowly for a moment and then left for the Ravenclaw table, shaking her head. 

---

 “Our little snake.”

 “Already sneaking around the rules at such a young age.”

 “I’m fifteen! ”

 “Our little-”

 “-tiny baby rebel. My, how they grow up.”

 “Just yesterday you were learning manipulation. And now, you’re sneaking into a dance.”

---

Finally, George said, “What’s the solution? I’m begging you Lydia, help me.”

She stared him in the face and said, “Aren’t beggars usually on their knees?”

---

 “New plan, because you’re as graceful as Hagrid’s skrewts.”

---

“This is your karma for that idiotic stunt with the dragon.”

 “Are you ever letting that go?”

 “I will when you stop flirting with Death.”

 “I don’t flirt, I tease. There’s a difference.”

---

“Hey Freddie, do you think your mum would be upset if I told her I want to drop out?”

 “Do you?”

 “Kind of. We could get a head start on that joke shop of yours.”

 “With what money?”

She shrugged, finally tearing her gaze back to his. “I guess how all poor people get money - struggling. It's just...I want to be with you and George, where nobody else matters.”

---

ch. 6:

She hoped Luna liked the earrings made from orange skins, it seemed her style and had made Lydia’s fingers sting when juice seeped into a few paper cuts.

---

Ginny barely gave her finger guns before she was sprinting.

---

“Is that allowed?”

 “Probably not,” Colin admitted, then shrugged. “But since when do we adhere to those silly things?”

---

 “Hi, you’re that scary snow white girl Colin’s always talking about, right?”

---

“Ready to piss off some purebloods?”

Ginny grinned like she had just hexed someone. “Oh Lydia. I was born to piss of purebloods.”

---

The night hasn’t gone devastatingly wrong as of yet, and Lydia supposes that’s all she could expect without sacrificing her soul or something.

---

Lydia briefly wonders if she’s just doomed Hogwarts to a fate of destruction. She figures it will be fine. Probably. Maybe.

---

A loud bell rings over the music, startling the band so badly a tambourine gets thrown and hits Professor Snape in his hooked nose.

---

Lydia cuffed his shoulder. “I know damn well your mum didn’t raise you to ignore a beautiful girl, Ron Weasley!”

---

They were all rushed to bed as soon as they got back to the Burrow, the car having malfunctioned and it already being near dawn by time Mr. Weasley learned they were accidentally in the Netherlands rather than England. (How that happened Lydia didn’t know. She’d fallen asleep against George’s shoulder after the fifth hour driving.)

---

She pauses in her unwrapping a little, and she mentally screams.

Look, she’s paranoid and mind reading is possible.

---

  ‘No way!’

 ‘Shut up.’

 ‘How come you fancy him and not me?’

 ‘Shut up!’

---

She began to mentally sing. ‘LA LA LA LA.’

---

ch. 7:

George had the big mouth, and often didn’t bother listening. It was as if he had one functioning ear, and he simply didn’t bother to use it.

---

The things he’d seen...it made him want to set something in fire, or smash something. Neither were an option though, as his mum really liked their curtains and dishes, so he stewed in the feeling.

---

This is how she should be - chasing him with giggles and hexes falling from her lips.

---

“ Ced got high and went swimming with his egg so the task is probably something to do with water. “

---

Sirius, honestly, is not having a good day. Or a good thirteen years, really. The things he looks forward to are rats, pets from nice villagers, and seeing his godson.

---

Ron snorted. “You reckon they think we’re all going in the cave to snog - OW, Hermione!”

---

“Your idiot godson - sorry, totally intelligent and not at all stupid godson -

---

Harry is pouting, and it’s the cutest goddamn thing Sirius has ever seen.

---

As Lydia runs to catch up with the other three, Sirius can hear Hermione demanding what the letter said, and Lydia saying, “If I told you I’d have to kill you. May I tell you?”

---

ch. 8:

She didn’t regret it, a little suspicion of authority figures was healthy.

---

“I’m surprised you weren’t born on a broomstick.”

George sighed with faux disapproval. “I wish I’d been.”

---

“No, you’re pretty...uh, good. You’re pretty good. You don’t have any...toothpaste.”

She laughed again, and George prayed for a sinkhole.

---

He fancied Lydia, and he was totally screwed.

Lydia was by his side every day of the year, basically.

She spent summers at the Burrow, save for those in the States, and they went to school together!

Oh Merlin. If his siblings (read: Ginny) found out they’d be insufferable! No. She couldn’t find out.

---

Katie grabbed her arm and pulled Lydia to her own chest, telling Alicia, “Love, time for Bear Protocol.”

Alicia, apparently doing what Bear Protocol meant, kicked Lee. “Bear Protocol. Now.”

Immediately, the debate cut off, and the twins slid close together, blocking anyone seeing Lydia from behind them. Lee did the same from her right side, and the three Chaser girls did so on her left.

---

 “Why aren’t you in class - oh goodness, what’s this?” Professor McGonagall, for her part, looked about as alarmed as one could make her.

---

Professor Flitwick simply levitated her and told Professor McGonagall, “Alert her professors she won’t be in lessons today, won’t you? I’m sure Poppy will want to keep her for quite a while.

Professor McGonagall sighed slightly but nodded, mumbling something that said an awful lot like, “Attached much?”

ch. 9:

Fred is pretty sure the detention was just for appearances sake, because when they got to Professor Flitwick’s classroom he had pretended to be disappointed, but when Lydia smiled at him he had smiled back.

They had practiced charms Fred is pretty sure weren’t supposed to be taught unless paid extra Galleons for, and he gave them all snacks.

---

“Madam Pomfrey is currently with someone else. She’ll be available tomorrow, or when she finds time.”

George obviously was strung out, because he snapped, “Get Pomfrey!”

 “Madam-”

 “Pomfrey will make an exception, Lydia isn’t a normal patient.”

 “I really doubt-”

Ginny sneered. “Doubt a little less, or you’re getting boils in places cream can’t reach!”

---

“ Mam .” She cried out, and Madam Pomfrey pulled Lydia forward so the girl could grab onto the woman.

---

And if later on Professor Flitwick found and joined them? Well, no one needed to know.

---

[magaprima]

Part 2 Episode 5 Thoughts (Part 4 of 4)

After the dinner scene and the kiss, the next time we see Lilith is in the middle of the night, and the only light on in the house is coming from the upstairs bedroom, thus telling us immediately that’s where Lilith and Adam are. We then see Lilith coming downstairs, dressed in a nightgown now, not her green one, but a burgundy one, one less ‘I am a demoness who is going to eat you whole and spit out the bones’ and more ‘I am a sensual woman who likes silks’, which again reveals to us about Lilith’s mindset.

She says ‘I’ll be right back, my love’ and both the words and the way she says them are very telling. For one, she calls him ‘my love’, which she never has before. We’ve heard her call him ‘Adam, dear’ as a Mary affectation but that’s about it. But ‘my love’ is very personal, very intimate, and very much openly reveals how Lilith feels about him. As I said in the last post, his words, his consideration, his respect and promises as well as the consensual kiss, were the moment she fell in love with him. And the way she says it here, she sounds like she’s on a restful cloud 9. She’s at peace, she sounds dreamy and she’s strolling casually like someone in love. She’s in no rush for the water, no rush for anything, she’s content and happy here and it stands out for the fact we’ve never seen her like this before and we haven’t see her like this since, which is tragic.

This all very post-coital, the pace she moves, the way she speaks, what she’s wearing, the fact she’s come from the bedroom, the words she uses, all of it says she and Adam have just consummated their relationship (especially as Adam learned ‘Mary’ was no longer waiting for marriage). This is such a sensual moment in a peaceful, domestic way and it’s all the more touching for the fact Lilith has never had this.

And the Dark Lord arrives and ruins it all (his timing of just showing up....does that mean he just watched them have sex? Probably, the perv)

The way Lilith’s mood flips in a nanosecond, she goes from smiling and content, to absolute fear and panic on her face, turning around so quickly in horror that she smashes the glass of water she’d just poured on the ground. Her fear and kneejerk reaction to his arrival is so instinctual and so visceral, that all her happiness has vanished in a single moment by his mere arrival.

She tries to gather herself in that moment., acknowledging him with his name, but she is so thrown. She looks not like a demoness who has been by his side for millennia, but a witch who didn’t expect the arrival and fears what it means. It’s almost a parallel to Zelda’s vibe and fear when he arrives before her wedding. Whereas arrival of the Dark Lord in the past with Lilith has always been expected, welcome or even outright summoned, here we definitely feel it’s an invasion and one Lilith doesn’t want. 

‘The temple has yet to fall. The mortal is a distraction. Get rid of him, Lilith’

Okay, firstly, Adam’s presence has nothing to do with how slow the temple falling is going. Lilith has done her bit, now Sabrina has to do hers, and Sabrina is apparently so self-involved she hasn’t even noticed Ms Wardwell has a boyfriend in the house. But whatever. So this was clearly such a flimsy reason for him to command Lilith to get rid of Adam, and I have to wonder why he gave a reason at all. Why not just ‘I don’t like him, get rid of him’. And then that ties back to other posts I’ve made about Lilith saying their relationship is co-dependency, and how Lucifer needs Lilith much more than he realises or will ever admit. He wants rid of Adam because Adam means she’s not focusing on Lucifer. And that’s literally the it. And he does sort of admit that, to an extent, when he says ‘you belong to me and only me’, but it’s him qualifying by viewing Lilith as a possession, something he has ownership of and the right to command. 

Lilith quickly says ‘of course’, agreeing, and the breathless fear is still in her voice, but you can see in her expression that, as ever, she’s calculating and planning ahead. Lilith’s very character, her entire origin story, is about not being told what to do, and her entire instinct is defiance. But we know she suppresses that out of survival in the presence of the Dark Lord. The fact that her feelings for Adam are so strong that she breaks that survivalist rule and starts immediately planning how not to get rid of him, speaks volumes. 

And now onto the ring. I’ve talked in the past about how Lilith is very, very powerful and people seem to forget that, and this ring is evidence of that power. An engraved ring, with her own spell spoken over it, is enough to entirely hide Adam from the Dark Lord. She can HIDE SOMEONE FROM THE SIGHT OF LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR. Like that’s extremely powerful. Remember in the Part 2 finale when the Spellmans were trying to find a way to hide Sabrina and all Ambrose came up with was a spell where she’d have to be constantly moving?  Nope, no such crazy for Lilith. She can obscure someone with just a freaking ring. The only reason the spell didn’t work is that Stolas spied on her and then betrayed her to Lucifer (so I figure the spell works like that one in Harry Potter, where you can’t see the thing, unless one of the keyholders tells you where it is? Like Grimmauld Place?)

“Yes, but if I don’t protect the mortal, Stolas, I won’t get to play with him any longer, and I have grown rather fond of him”

Her reasoning to Stolas is an attempt to downplay her feelings, talking about playing with him, and only saying ‘fond’ (a word she uses in Part 3 which I personally feel is Lilith’s go-to word when she’s afraid to say love. So if she’s ‘fond’ of something, she freaking loves it) but that downplaying is disproven by the word ‘protect’. She’s not hiding Adam, she’s not keeping him, she’s not obscuring him or secreting him away, she’s protecting him. She’s keeping him safe. And that’s a big fucking deal for Lilith.

But of course Stolas, presumably, points out the Dark Lord wanted her to kill him and Lilith snaps, getting quite angry here, which again shows her true feelings.

“Oh relax. What the Dark Lord doesn’t know won’t hurt him”

Yet, the moment Adam comes back in, her entire ‘tough facade’ fades, and she’s suddenly wide eyed and concerned and she literally runs over to him, grabbing Adam by the hands and pulling him closer, almost as if she feels he’s less at risk of being found if he’s close to her. She is so desperately determined to keep him safe and that’s heartbreaking. 

“I’d like you to wear this ring, but you must never ever take it off”

Not only is she insistent here, with her emphasis on ever, because she knows the moment he takes it off he’ll be in danger (omg is that what happened with Stolas? Maybe it doesn’t work like the Grimmauld Place spell, maybe Stolas pulled the fucking ring off???? I mean Adam already got the vibe the bird didn’t like him), but it’s the breathless urgency she speaks with. She’s wide-eyed and worried, she needs this to work, she needs him to be safe, Lilith is all in at this point and it shows that she does really have this huge capacity for love (after all she was created human originally).

“Of course, Mary, but what does this mean” He agrees without question but is so bloody confused, like last night we said no marriage and now you’re giving me a ring to never take off....what is happening here?

And then LILITH SHOVES THE RING ON HIM. She doesn’t wait for him to take it and put it on, that’s taking too long, it has too much risk, and so she puts it on him, and that gives us nice marriage visual, of how one partner puts the ring on the other during the ceremony, and considering her first and only ‘husband’ was the Adam in the Garden, it’s a nice contrast to her willingly engaging in something akin to marriage with another Adam, one who respects her and appreciates her, reminding us that that was the only reason Lilith ended up on this path to Hell and demoness-hood. She just wanted to be treated equally and with respect. So much would have been different for her origin story if the first Adam had been like Adam 2.0. Perhaps someone like Adam 2.0 would have defied the False God with her, refused his laws of ‘women are less’ and left with Lilith. Perhaps they would have been witches together, or simply free together, who knows. My point is, a little respect means Lilith might have been saved so much pain and suffering. 

“It means we’re setting a date. But only if you swear to me, you’ll never take it off” She’s so vehemently insistent. Her fear and her concern for him is making her so vehement in her instructions that he keep the ring on. 

AND THEN HE FREAKING PICKS HER UP IN THE CUTEST MOMENT I HAVE EVER SEEN. Made all the cuter by Lilith’s little gasp of delighted surprise. Adam  is picking up the MOTHER OF DEMONS and he has no idea. Like no one has ever gotten to be that intimate or carefree or sweet with Lilith, he’s allowed to be so close to her, to entirely get under those walls she’s built up and it’s beautiful. This is such a cute moment and again shows us the happiness Lilith might have had, the suffering she might have avoided in an alternate reality. 

When he puts her down, declaring he loves her, Lilith instinctively kisses him. SHE kisses HIM. He initiates it mostly, but she moves inwards too, meeting him half way without encouragement and she does it without thinking, it’s instinctual, she kisses him. And then she realises what she’s just done and you see she’s surprised by it-- she doesn’t kiss mortal men, she doesn’t have happy intimacy with mortal men, but here she has, without a second thought. It’s natural and comfortable to her, and she looks so cute and happy and delighted by this realisation. LOOK AT HER