#(i am absolutely not good with horror)
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im a child of divorce
#the bit is over when i say its over and even when its so joever for these two its not over for me!!! (once again i am on heavy copium)#anyway. thoughts behind the spoiler tags#gempearl#shiny duo#wild life smp#life series spoilers#wild life spoilers#i feel like. i actually was expecting that#no but its so funny the one time the negative consequences of something does actually get acknowledged its the SL finale ‘betrayal’/j#like cmon fuck me i guess/j (BIG EMPHASIS. ON THE SLASH J. OKAY.)#but honestly though i did expect Gem to hold a grudge over the 2v1 in SL. and. its good that there are consequences???#it IS a ‘betrayal’ in Gem’s eyes. they were friends. they were murder besties for the last two sessions and then Pearl chose Scar over her#and its awesome man. [through gritted teeth] this is awesome man this will be good for character development ok ok ok. ok?#its also got something to do with Pearl having the red creep in. i think#because during SL Gem was like. nearly idolising the Scarlet Pearl persona while vaguely aware that her own reputation has a similar effect#and yknow. the horrors. the fact that their image is so heavily built on what others deem them to be and they can only play into it#but by the end of SL Gem gets ‘betrayed’ by this persona that she looked up to#and also her own ‘GeminiSlay’ intimidating image is also starting to fall apart. partly of her own will#and now shes watching Pearl slowly turn red again. and this time she knows its not good for her or Pearl#so shes distancing herself from it. shes ‘trying to fix her reputation’. she sees Pearl falling into it again and just. no. i dont love you#you betrayed me last season#but on Pearl’s end of things she’s already deep into the idea that as long as you say you ‘forgive’ someone then everything thats happened#in the past doesn’t matter and they can all be friends. and nooo absolutely no grudges will be held. no emotional repression here#so. because thats happened to her in her own team she thinks the same can happen with her and Gem#and thats so. im going to blow myself up now
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tiny yoichi (unwillingly) lures out soldiers by being his helplessness little self so his brother can strike
#bases are the most reliable way to find food afo found!#yoichi is crying bcuz he pitys them <3#not because hes nervous#im gonna be honest i made this idea up on the spot when drawing this#pewdiepies new art video awakened something in me I NEEDED TO REMIND MYSELF I CAN STIL DRAW BANGERS TOO#i didnt disappoint myself!!!! competitiveness is my enemy and my bestie literally#anyways his right eye was an absolute horrendous nightmare to draw it was going so well until i did the hair then it ruined the eye#i actually thought yoichi was wearing shoes at this age but then i looked back at those chapters and realised yoichi was shoeless#WITH ONLY A BANDAGE ON HIS FOOT??!?!!?!? agony#can yoichi not make me wish he had something good in life for ONE SECOND#think of this as like how he responded to afo killing those people that (presumably) beat yoichi up beforehand#we dont know if hes crying because his brother is killing or if he was crying before being 'saved'#ill try do some fluff art soon ive been really interested in body horror related art lately so i wanted to play around!!!#i have a BUNCH of ideas written down ive yet to do#i just keep doing whatever i feel like#i am the master of ignoring the instructions and winging it#mha#my art#yoichi shigaraki#one for all#my hero academia#first ofa user#shigaraki yoichi#mha yoichi#tiny yoichi#tiny yoichi in his shabby little clothes#ive actually been dying to draw tiny yoichi again but KIDS ARE SO HARD TO DRAW!!!!!#i had an art moment though#HALLEJUHAH#art gods had my back fr
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Guys should I write a Dracula musical. Should I???
#BUT I NEED TO FINISH MY ROBIN HOOD ALBUM TOO#it’s going well!! I think!#but I’ve just listened to the Jekyll & Hyde musical soundtrack it was pretty good#a couple really great songs#so currently I’m kind of obsessed with like old gothic horror stories? something like that?#but like. retellings#because I am still sooo in love with The Glass Scientists#in love in love in love#and then I listened to the Dracula musical soundtrack#I reeeally did not like it#I only listened to the soundtrack though I didn’t watch it#but there was barely anything on Arthur and Jack and Quincey????#the three suitors??? hello????#where did they go :(#AND MINA ENDS UP WITH DRACULA???#EXCUSE YOU SHE WOULD NEVER#I love Jon and Mina so much why would you do this to them :(#anyway I want to write my own Dracula musical now#I can do that right? how hard can it be?#I’ve already written two episodes of a musical TV show for my creative writing class#and I’m actually quite proud of those#I also need to catch up on my Dracula Daily!! I’m a few days behind#also if I write a Dracula musical I will absolutely be imagining the songs with the voices of the Re: Dracula cast#dracula daily#re dracula#robin hood mechs au#<- tagging that so someone can tell me NOOO FINISH YOUR ROBIN HOOD MECHS ALBUM FIRST!! YOU LITTLE SILLY!!#if you actually read through all these tags wow! thanks for your time :)#dracula the (other) musical#<- my tag for this now I guess
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#God knows what fresh Horrors await me tomorrow.#at this point I fully expect a plane to crash into my house#I've had two really bad days in a row#I already didn't want to be here#I don't know what to do#I don't trust any of the people who are supposed to be taken care of me or figuring things out#because so far not a single person has proven able to tell me the same thing fucking twice#they all look at each other's work and say it's no good#and I'm fucking done#I'm just done#I'm not even very sick#this could potentially get bad but I'm okay right now#what I am is a miserable person trapped in an endless cycle of repetitive appointments and phone calls that go absolutely fucking nowhere
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So i finally listened to The Magnus Protocol and uhh holy shit, yall mind if i
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#the magnus protocol#tmagp#tmagp spoilers#In the tags#My favourite case has to be the 2nd one Daria girl you are so fucked up!!!! You are so fucked up girl get help!!!!#And i am loving the absolute toxic work environment it is hilarious all the characters are great!!#Alice Gwen and Lena have three way situation of snide backhanded remarks and office coworker hate going on#Colin hates everyone but especially the puter and is this close to murder#Sam is just trying to do whatever the fuck he is doing. He is new here. He is over qualified#Teddy my man saw his place workplace comedy swerving towards horror genre and immediately ditched ship good for him!!!#(Unless Lena brutal pipe murdered him in which case girl i am so sorry)#And just character in general. Like Alice is trying to vibe her way through life#while also saying some death flaggy 'oh this is def foreshadowing' shit every episode#Gwen has the same surname as the shows previous antag#but also just after Lena's job and just wants to be taken seriously and thinks everyone is against her#she also may or not have discovered that her boss is murderer but oh well#Sam is like this sweet nice guy who is also so fucking nosy and the only one actually curious about fucked up shit cases magnus institue#And everyone is telling him to stop Girl! Turn away girl!! You are gonna get fucked up girl!! Look away!!#Colin is just so fucking angry and feral but also IT is just like that. He is crawling on the floors. He is growling at people#Lena is so fucking tired with all these bitches in her office Head Bitch incharge of all these Bitches#And i am 80% sure she murdered that guy Klaus#Anyway love all of this. Cant wait to hear them get killed in brutal tragic ways
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i havent mentioned how unreasonably happy i am about this….. id say im like one of eyes’ biggest fans i love them so much
#i love how much of Kind of a dork they are in sm2#and i am kinda scared we won’t ever see them in that kinda light again considering that they’re like a big thing that from now on only shows#up in serious dramatic moments AND the increasing tone shift of the show#but like. any eyes screentime is good in my book they are so fucking cool#i cant explain in words how much i love it Especially in horror(-ish) media#when there’s just something that’s absolutely fucking huge AND THE FACT THAT EYES IS LIKE#THEYRE HUGE BUT THEY ARENT LOUD OR FAST OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. ITS SCARY IN THE SAME WAY AS LIKE#BEING UNDERWATER AND SOMETHINF DEADLY OR LIKE POISONOUS FLOATING TOWARDS REALLY SLOWLY#AND THATS SO FXJXK IN G COOL TO MEEEEEE#MY FAVOURITE THING EVER#FOR LIKE. CONCEPTS FOR MONSTERS#and i just loveeeeee all their like hundreds of tentacle things and the big shiny eyes and the fact that they look like a little broccoli#AND THEIR TOOTHY SMILE IS SOOO CUTE 2 ME I LOVE EYESS#they’re like a weird fucked up dog to me. it’s a shame that their husband died#(moloch
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I'm really eager to start writing more for Spider and Vivienne because, being from horror movies, the tone of their pieces are a lot more pure horror and I'm eager to write it
#y'all. i am good at horror. i have horror novels planned and i intend to get them published someday. i study and create horror for my job#and what's even more fun is that these two have very DIFFERENT horror vibes too#spider is a modern sci-fi alien horror. strict set of rules (no loud noises) with an immediate threat to be tackled#while vivienne is an 1890s supernatural horror with a stronger romance element. more gothic atmosphere than a singular threat#(which is really funny bc last voyage of the demeter ABSOLUTELY is a single-threat horror movie. i mean. dracula. on a boat. no escape)#(but with that being only one event in Vivienne's story it becomes more about that macabre beauty-horror of sirens and sailor's tales)
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I have recently discovered SOMA has a fandom on tumblr and I don’t think my life has ever been more complete
#SO GUYS HAVE#HAVE I#EVER MENTIONED#HOW MUCH I LOVE TJIS GAME#I WATCHED A PLAYHROUGJ OF IT AND ENDED UP GETTING IN LIKE. A LONG RANT WITH A FRIEND ABOUT IT#SINCE I DRAGGED TJEM INTO THE ROT TOO#Guys guys I really love philosophical horror can you tell#Also I promise I am not leaving PHIGHTING! anytime soon I am just#Really obsessed with this horror game#I am so autistic for robots giys#Like#like guys#you guys could never understand#Murder drones/ultrakill/biograft phighting/and now soma I am so mentally ill#/VSILLY#Anyways pls watch the soma play through or even better play the game oh my FUCK#IT MADE ME#GENUINELY CRY SO UNRELIABLY HARD THE ENDING ABSOLUTELY RUINED ME#It’s such an underrated game too IH my goodness#I’m so happy it’s finally getting the attention it’s deserbes#Cro chatter#soma#soma game#soma (2015)
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(genderly) chill as hell if i was only ever glimpsed / detected like this
#Shrouded In A Rectangle neither sleeves nor an open front to be besieged with? yes#just doing whatever else like doesn't matter. tee cargo shorts which is my best guess rn of my ideal outfit. + sandals Absolutely#unfortunately my hair could never do that. somehow neither am i yet like forties fifties? have i not been at this for eons?#i Can be like uh let's just nobody talk to me i'm busy pensively perceiving truths that you don't ever actually wanna hear about#just the other day it was like hey....a [way Having To Talk could be a difficulty / problem] was under my nose in this lifelong pattern#certainly noticing the Verbal Exchange Demand heaped upon burnout as like [delay delay delay struggle weariness stress]#but also who knows like spent plenty of time just probably indeed Not having to have such exchanges while burned out. not noting them#anyway like this isn't even [dysphoric Ideal Outfit until i could [whatever supposed even more ideal than that gender euphoria]]#though shoutout to that but like nah get shrouded anyway. the only [how do i look] im motivated to consider is: when it's a costume#when it's just me it's like. i guess whatever pants and a comfortable enough tee. need glasses. hair's w/e so cut quite short ig#might accessorize w/things that are fun to me like hey yeah yknow i might want a calculator watch#[yea as a kid it was like :( im actively appreciating the animals supposedly Gross or Bad] if i had hated little friends Sure yaay#if i had disorienting light effects like a pelagic creature. but you don't even need that. like hey i'm nd in real life. i got it#chat i'm in the walls too bestie lmao. if only my bigfoot pose reference Step was this good#tl;dr long rephrasing of my being like; now the gender slay....#& nodding & Noting when [worksheet exercise: what's your gender euphoria look?] is like shrug idk. but this is serving maximally to me; so#going Chat how can i up my uncanny stats. looking up ''isn't it like Uncanny knowledge e.g. so like why not....canny''#but i think the un canny is the Uncanniness Accuser's perspective. not of My ken. your literal weird one maybe#so again apt to be like jk i'm just autistic & shit; i got it....horror shit challenge impossible: Don't have sm typical mundane#[disability moment] as like Unsettling danger/malice cues. challenge impossible; again#subverted here like as [horror holding hands touching foreheads w/comedy] w/o Rescinding just casual disabled behavior/qualities#just remembered like three witches weird sisters etc macbeth. weird uncanny soothsaying gendering. word#anyway i should be shrouded (made no any connection whenever i put the blanket now over my head & shoulders in place min ago)#perhaps the real Ideal Look insight: i do not have any way i wish to be observed by people. secret passages / removed room anytime
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Thinking about Celann and his ever present grief at the life he could have had, he and his wife and (he always hoped) their daughter. A life where he was a father--he'd hardly ever wanted anything more than that. So full of love he was ready to burst and needed somewhere to put it, wanted a life with his favorite girls.
Thinking about how the ever present desire haunts him no matter how deep he buried it. It keeps coming back, relentlessly, this anguish that he threw it all away. He could have had exactly what he wanted and he was stupid enough to abandon it all, and for what? Because he was upset? But then he always remembers how hollow he felt after the incident, like if you rapped him with a knuckle you'd hear he was just a shell. He forgives himself, then, remembers how wrong everything felt, and he thinks about all the time he spent desperately trying to make everything feel right again.
Remembers when he realized he was the problem, what needed to be fixed. Removed.
He abandoned the life he had and every dream he'd ever held close because he wasn't him anymore. Celann would never have killed anyone, would never have done... that. He was some other Celann, different, trying to make himself fit in the life of a man that no longer existed. And so he left.
And he has no right to ache so badly at the thought of what he gave up, no right to ache at the loss of a family (of two families, but he starts thinking that and breaks every time, so he's gotten good at simply skipping over the thought) when he was a killer--an adept one, a practiced one--that could mangle and maul and kill and do it again and again. What right does he have to still want that happy little dream?
But the dream is a ghost and it haunts him, is there every time he's out on a supply run and sees kids playing around the marketplace, sees women cradling infants and fathers carrying sons on their shoulders. (He reminds himself of the blood on his hands, is scared he might stain them with it if he reaches out to touch them.) It's there when he has a bag and his axe hanging from his hips and finds a girl crying for her mother, lost and separated, jostled by the crowd.
It's there as he calms her, kneeling on wet and gritty stone, hovering between her and the flow of the crowd so they give her space. He lifts her and holds her against his side with one arm and something in him weeps, feels something soft in him as her tiny weight settles and she starts chattering at him about the groceries she and her mother came to buy.
They weave their way through the marketplace as they help each other--she tells him where he can find what he needs, and he silently curses the nords and their height as he tries to peer over shoulders to catch a glimpse of the woman she described--and that cold weight that's usually settled in his chest, his grief and remorse, lightens with every step. She's warm through his sweater and splutters indignantly every time the ever changing wind blows her brown hair into her mouth and he laughs, quiet and warm.
They check places she's already been, in case her mother doubled back looking for her, and take detours so Celann can fumble to place newly acquired groceries in the bag beneath her, unwilling to hold her over the side with his axe and equally unwilling to put her down, awkwardly shifting her weight as she laughs at him. He's silly for buying such expensive things, she tells him, and he light heartedly tells her Skyrim is silly for not having the things he used to use in High Rock. The revelation he hasn't always lived in Skyrim excites her to no end, and the rest of the trip is a Q&A of the sort only a small child can provide.
He feels warm inside, in his chest, where usually he feels vaguely cold at best, and for a moment he's reluctant to relinquish her when they finally find her mother, guided by the sounds of panicked calls of her name. There's a fond sadness as he sets her down on the stones again, and the woman looks at him oddly for a moment before the look turns knowing, though he's sure the conclusion she reached is slightly off.
She quietly asks if her daughter reminds him of her. He stands there silently for a moment, looking down at the little girl as she rifles through the things her mother's found.
He tells her yes.
#celann#fucking girldad#guy who wants small house white picket fence and 2.5 kids forced to become a murderer#cant live with the guilt and horror and becomes a man he cannot recognize in the mirror more at 6#me thinking about this last night: he uses Adult Privileges to be tall and look out over the crowd#me writing this: his short ass cant see over everyone else#its fine enough when hes just in the fort like usual but then theres a crowd and hes like goddammit#anyway he has to go get his fancy ingredients because NO you CAN use that but it doesnt TASTE RIGHT#and so he has been banished to specifically get his own goddamn groceries#celann: im a cold blooded killer and i can never atone for the atrocities i have committed. i am incapable of good#also celann: 💞💞💞😊😊😊#the loss of self after the incident really fucked him up he doesnt know who he is#he keeps trying to categorize himself and neatly file himself away but the fact remains#he is both the old celann and a new one simultaneously#however he feels tainted by his actions and thinks of the Before as like a purer time and he is not a pure man#so CLEARLY he is not AT ALL the old celann and those good traits are gone#anyway he goes soft when theres kids just absolutely melts#like the only guy in the dg that can be trusted to watch a small child#also in case it wasnt clear when the mother akss 'does she remind you of her' shes assuming his daughter is dead#shes asking if her daughter reminds him of his own#delivering your typical celann angst and remembering when i said i should write happy things for him#unfortunately this has not happened yet the happy things just happen in my mind
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ncuti fucking gatwa!! what a man!!!
#unless the writing for the new series is absolutely abysmal#i can pretty much guarantee already that hes gonna be my favourite ever doctor besides ten#he is#so good#doctor who#am i honestly not certain how i feel about the ending of the ep otherwise#i dont hate it but i dont love it and i dont really know what to think#the toymaker performance was impeccable#and the horror vibes for the bit with the doors was perfection#i really hope the horror vibes keep going into the new series because its so fun#i love it when my silly little alien show becomes all dark and fucked up actually#anyway ncuti gatwa is a god i am obsessed with him#genuinely the most perfect casting ever
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To be very honest, the only thing I find genuinely interesting about jujutsu kaisen besides the art is the storyline at the beginning of Season 2.
I couldn't care less about what sukuna and kenjaku were up to. Literally the relationship and drama around gojo and geto is what kept me on the edge of my seat. Otherwise the manga for me feels pretty basic ? Itadori is supposed to be the main character but he's so sidelined in his own story ? Everybody else keeps dying too fast for me to care about it ?
Like I wish the manga was actually about early gojo, geto, nanami and co. I wish instead of a 2 episode flashback we had the entire manga dedicated to geto slow descent to madness and events that unfold. Can you imagine jujutsu kaisen as a psychological horror anime ? Waaahhh
And obviously this is just my personal opinion don't crucify me I'm not saying the manga is bad just ....
#jujutsu kaisen#the sukuna and gojo fight was another highlight of the manga#but that's the thing gojo makes the stakes so high so when he died it felt so empty#like what am i gonna look forward to now i couldn't care less if sukuna killed everyone or no anymore#maybe i just have to wait it out or something#also still annoyed at how fast they killed yuki#she had so much potential#jujutsu kaisen could have been a psychological horror anime can you imagine i would have trescended#a waste of good characters tbh#the art is absolutely gorgeous tho#gojo satoru#geto suguru#nanami kento
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OMG YOUR DELTARUNE S/I LOOKS SOOOOO COOOL TELL ME ABOUT THEM!!!
Thankyou thankyou!!! They're the Vessel from the beginning of the Survey Program, and follow Kris around as a ghost narrating. Sort of the Chara to their Frisk, but with a lot more backseating
They don't control Kris, per say, like the player in canon Deltarune, but they do have more than just the power of being really annoying and can sway Kris without their input. Obviously, Kris isn't a big fan of being told what to do against their will and tends to fight back as much as they can.
They try not to be too annoying to Kris and stay in their lane as just an observer, but sometimes a choice comes up that they get entirely too excited about (like giving the plush to Berdly in Chapter 2, or giving affection to Ralsei) and end up accidentally forcing Kris to go along with them. They rarely notice when they do this, and Kris is unable to convey their lack of control to them, making their relationship very uneven.
In the Light World no one but Kris can see them, and they can't go very far from Kris on their own, where in the Dark World they can move at will and can even physically interact and be seen by everyone else, though Kris is still the only one who can hear them, so they tend to still stick pretty close to them.
They can also possess Kris to fully influence their choices and speech, though they only did so once and it was on complete accident. Kris described the experience as taking a Back Seat to their own life, fully conscious but unable to do anything. They've sense sworn to Kris to never do this again, it's the one thing Kris trusts them on.
I haven't yet decided if they're something that's always been with Kris, or if they're a new thing that appeared around the start of Chapter 1. That's probably a decision that'll change as we get more chapters and more information on Kris themselves
This Self Insert doesn't have any self ships attached to it, per say. The Vessel is very attached to Berdly and Ralsei but in a much more "Kris you should date these people" way, which makes Kris incredibly uncomfortable so they try to keep to themselves about it.
#Emile's Arts#Thankyou for asking#I didn't want to START the ask off with it AGAIN but I DO have multiple Deltarune S/Is fdkgjdfkg#This one in particular is just because I like Kris' dynamic with the Player and wanted something more physical about it#Basically an 'I am Kris' absolute least favorite person ever' kind of self insert#We'll... probably get better fkdgjdkf#The possession plotline I most certainly only set up to be an angst moment down the line#Break Kris' trust by possessing them again to stop them from something or something like that#I love the red string halo so much#I think the Red String of Fate soulmate story should be used more in horror it's a VERY good visual#you are doomed to be stuck with me#We are physically tied together#It's fun to me#Thankyou very much Devin again for asking!! You're the best!!!#These sketches are ass but it's almost 3am fkgjfdkg#They themselves don't really know where they come from either btw they're just. Here. And are very excitable#Kris refers to them as It and everyone else uses They#They don't really care any pronouns are fine
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"whatever you do, don't go to the old railyard on the outskirts of town. there's something living out there, man. i swear i've seen it."
old design from mid 2023 under the cut
#702 has nothing to do with my regular trains this is a haunt character concept#hence references to 'the witch' and 'mineshaft'#obviously her head is inspired but otherwise she's my own critter :)#ideally the plan is to build her head as a prototype of rusty's race helm#that way i can grime up 702's head all freaky and drippy and also have a good pattern for Rusty's race helm#i have all her materials I JUST NEED TO SIT DOWN AND BUILD ALL HER SHIT#she will tear up anyone who she's been taught to target but she's a big puppydog the rest of the time#will lay her head in the undead's lap and chuff contently#she will play fetch with spines and small trees if you throw them for her#the she/her thing is kind of a joke bc i am always misgendered at work both by coworkers and customers#and at school and everywhere else actually. absolutely no one can ever tell i'm a girl. for some reason#oc#horror oc#horror#train#train oc#original character#haunt character#art or whatever
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i know it's a whole expansion later but i still think about agdistis
#yeah#am in a horror mood yet again (i'm never /not/ in a horror mood but it is currently front of brain)#hegemone too but mostly agdistis bc. well look at her#what remains of her human body on the giant tree monster#her absolutely tortured face that reminds me of the akuma from dgm#yeah. yeah#good shit#anyway scream is probably my favorite ff song#especially after i learned the lyrics#pandaemonium was exactly my kind of shit. i'm so glad that was my starting raid tier#athena was so fucked up man. i wanna study her under a microscope
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no one's doing it quite like Wrong Organ is doing it and thank god for that
#replayed how fish is made after mouthwashing and i am useless. i am useless. it's like they spiked all this shit with a#substance to make *me specifically* lose any shred of composure ive ever had#incredible art. heartwrenching exhausted desperately compelling agonizing hilarious entirely disinterested in offering you easy relief but#extremely invested in connecting with you#i will forever buy every single thing these people make upon the second of release#and also i cant engage w stuff like it more often or id never get anything done ever again#wrong organ#how fish is made#mouthwashing#mine#i wish the adhd hyperfixation hadnt hit so hard on mouthwashing though. rn it is an absolutely exhausting and rather triggering thing for#my brain to have decided to make me think about 24/7 but hey. good art is good art is good art#i'll ride out the strongest wave and learn to engage less maladaptatively#it hits the same nerve endings tma did (i have a normal and healthy rs with the concept of choice and responsibility and freedom and#empathy and isolation and abusive power dynamics and autonomy and body horror and)#but where tma was like getting stabbed the wrong organ people took me out#back and simply hacked at me with a meat cleaver until naught but#blood remained#im having such an inexpressably normal one right now
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