#(home boy like: yeah time travel seems easier than raising the dead and weirdly he was right?)

[pkmnsdarkqueen]

Ice Log, Audio Journal-Pryce

Some of the audio log of Pryce’s experiments with the children and Ho-oh and Lugia to get an idea of what happened

TW: child abuse 

Day xxx Age of children-14

I’ve brought the two newest to the remote location where I am housing the legendaries. Since keeping them in pokeballs has proved difficult. The hex upon them seems to weaken in the devices thus I’m forced to have them housed. Both children have proven a great deal of loyalty. I find it time they meet the legendary pokemon I have housed, perhaps gain even more of their respect through this. 

Day xxx Age of children-14

I have come upon an.....interesting discovery, but I am not sure what to make of it. I find myself in a situation akin to a horror movie since bringing the children to this site. They have come to me five times today claiming to hear screaming from the barn, and question how no one hears it. They say it’s human like. The only alive thing there is the legendaries. It has been less than a day of being here, how could they know anything?

Day xxx Age of children-14

I’ve refused them access to the barn, and am trying to nail down the cause. The more I look into it the more maddening this is. Carl and Sham have failed to hear anything. Both Will and Karen have come independently of one another to tell me. It disrupts their training as they show deep signs of distress when hearing these supposed screams. I have also found it often correlates to when tests are done of the legendary pokemon, or I am renewing the hex over them to hold my bond to them. I will try wait a bit longer to document more.

Day xxx Age of children-14

I have found no other explanation. Something about these children and the legendaries is connected. I must introduce them.

Day xxx Age of children-14

I let the boy go first. With his psychic abilities if something were to go wrong then I suppose he would have a better chance at fighting off the legendary Lugia till I could regain control of the hex. At this that is what I figured. However I was shocked to find how little he struggled. With the tidal bell in hand, and silver wing the hex seemed to instinctively latch to him. There was only a minimal struggle from Lugia before the pokemon succumbed to his control. Naturally I was taken aback as it took an hour for the bond to attach with myself, but this child had no issues. We are now seeing how long he can hold it. 

Day xxx Age of children-14

It was roughly hour 8 that the child was finally loosing control, and had to reinstate the hex over the pokemon. Again he took to it naturally though seemed distressed while doing it claiming he heard the pokemon screaming again. All we heard was the usual pokemon cries, but he claimed to hear words. Naturally I told him I had held the hex longer and he’d grow in time when in actuality it took quite some time to get to his level. Now to see what the girl can manage, and if he has any luck with Ho-oh.

Day xxx Age of children-14

Note to self. Do not mix their pokemon. The girl shows the same aptitude with Ho-oh. Naturally she had the rainbow wing and clear bell with her also. When trying to introduce the hex to the opposing pokemon immediate chaos broke out. They seem to excel with one certain pokemon, and if trying to attach to the other the hex rejects them out right. Won’t be making that mistake again. 

Day xxx Age of children-16

Tests with the children and their respective pokemon continues. They’ve grown exceptionally over the years with control of their respective pokemon. Not only can they control them outside an enclosed environment, but have intense battles with relitive ease in control. Rocket remains none the wiser. 

Day xxx Age of children-17

I had hoped we’d find something by now. Some tangible explanation, but there’s nothing. We’ve preformed countless medical tests by now, x-rays, collected samples, the whole nine yards which I have kept careful documentation of. Hell we’ve even tried dental studies to see if there’s something, but nothing. No shred of explanation as to what is giving these children such careful control of legendaries. Their bond with the pokemon grows too. I worry they could revolt if I am not careful. 

Day xxx Age of children-17

I originally thought it possible the boy’s psychic abilities had to do with his link to Lugia though that never explained why the girl failed to show any results to having say pyrotechnic abilities. I’m beginning to think the psychic abilities he has are wholly separate from the connection to Lugia. Despite this gap the girl has seemed to keep up in fighting abilities, impressively so. However that also drew me to question if there was a separation between the legendary connection and their strengths. The true kicker was what the girl said to me an hour ago. I was in my study and she knocked on the door coming in with some tea saying I could use some. Granted I have been stressed with the recent failure of Carl and Sham’s last mission, but I had not left my office nor did she know about this as they had called me directly. I asked her how she knew I was stressed, and she seemed equally curious on how she reached that conclusion before shrugging and claiming she simply,’felt it from me, and Will told her I likely wanted tea.’ I hadn’t thought about it before, but both her and the boy seem to do that often. She always seems to know how people feel, and he always seems to know what people want. I had taught them that as good manipulation tactics, but....they understood it so quickly, as if they already knew each time. If Lugia is the guardian of souls, and Ho-oh of hearts...I wonder....could that be translated to desires, and feelings?

Day xxx Age of children-17

I am more convinced of my heart and soul theory having tested them more and more. I wonder....how alike are they to the legendaries, what powers can they access?

Day xxx Age of children-18

I have begun to research into the tower burning. Where the beasts were resurrected. Medically we have still found nothing, and the children grow more apprehensive of these lab visits while I grow tired of them. I truly think now I maybe onto something in researching these legends. Ho-oh is capable of rebirth, correct? The only thing stopping me from bringing back my pokemon’s parents is Ho-oh’s cooperation in reviving them. That’s how I view it at least. Now to find out how it happened once to make it happen again.

Day xxx Age of children-18

It seems I am not the first to have this idea, and I praise my luck I am not. The ruins of Alph speak about the power in Ho-oh’s resurrection bringing up the cycle of life. Apparently there are ties to pokemon in Kalos as well, but Ho-oh is the beginning of this process the rebirth of life. So with those pokemon far past the final step it is time for rebirth.

Day xxx Age of children-19

I have it ready finally. The ritual is set, and the girl understands her job. After tomorrow I’ll have peace again.

Day xxx Age of children-19

Perhaps I should of done more research into those Kalos pokemon. The ritual, as the listener to this, if anyone listens to this besides myself can safely assume it failed. I followed everything to the T, and I do think it went properly. At least somewhat. The girl entered a trance of sorts after seeming to fall unconscious. She was misty eyed, literally, and to be blunt I feared dead by how lifeless her body looked. However the carvings I made continued to glow, and Ho-oh continued to glow giving off an aura. Then cuts appeared on the girl, claw marks, gashes, simply various wounds. Everything seemed to cut out suddenly as she snapped to shaking and crying hardly noticing her injuries as she clutched herself. She spoke gibberish for a bit before calming enough to explain what happened. Apparently she entered some dark space with nothing around, but a door in the far distance, and Ho-oh desperately trying to pull away from it. The closer she got to it, and pushed the bird two voices told her to stop, that the living weren’t allowed there, it was too late the souls have moved on. Then they attacked. She doesn’t recall what attacked her exactly as they felt like shadows, but there was talons, hooves, a beak, and horns all taking blows at her till she couldn’t fight anymore. I noticed then Ho-oh was wounded too. For now healing. I will try again another time, she promises she can get to the door next time for me.

Day xxx Age of children-19

I have tried multiple times with the girl now. Each time she only comes back more injured, and shaken. I have continued research on the ritual since. I will integrate the boy with her this next time. Perhaps the two of them can finally reach some silly door.

Day xxx Age of children-19

Still nothing. Medical results yield again, nothing. There is something to this that is past our current understanding of science. The children grow no closer to this supposed door even together, and are continuously told by what I can only assume to be xerneas and yveltal that the souls of my pokemon’s parents are too far gone. They’ve already moved past. As infuriating as this is I have found a possible solution to my strife in my detailed research of legendary pokemon of this region. If I can not raise them from the dead which apparently requires some machine in Kalos, or give them the rebirth of new life as was done with the beasts then I will try something simpler, time travel. 

[elane-in-the-shadows]

Red Queen Fan Fiction - Blood Curse part 5

Find this on wattpad

chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 3

chapter 4

chapter 5

chapter 6

chapter 7

chapter 8

chapter 9

chapter 10

chapter 11

chapter 12

chapter 13

chapter 14

chapter 15

chapter 16

chapter 17

chapter 18

chapter 19

chapter 20

chapter 21

chapter 22

chapter 23

chapter 24

chapter 25

chapter 26

chapter 27

chapter 28

chapter 29

Final chapter

A/N: This is kinda the single ladies girls squad chapter @queenmareena and @lilyharvord have requested. But there’s a lot of verbal slaying and sparring too. And pain. Yeah. And it’s super-long. Thanks @thomaven for advice^^ Enjoy~

Mare POV

In the end, Evangeline gets what she wanted and group of volunteers sets out to hunt for Maven. I’m one of them. But the boy king is astoundingly good at running away. We start with checking the breaches in the wall and the tunnels though there isn’t much to see, with the remains of the dead soldiers moved away. So, we run across the fields around the city, searching for Maven’s traces.

It’s strange to be here, when the memories of the battle in the blizzard still linger in my mind. But the sun is shining now, although not as hot as in Piedmont, and in some places, green grass is growing. Actually, if I turn away from the fortress, the landscape is weirdly peaceful. An unsettling thought, and the other members of the hunting party, most of them Silvers, seem to have almost similar feelings as they frown and move reluctantly. There’re no trails of Maven and his army to be found and probably, they vanished as they came. And why should they stay? It’s easy to forget that the war has ended when its dread loomed over us Reds for generations. Yet it was a ruse all along and the conflict was solved as easily as salt in water.

Maven’s and the Lakelanders’ retreat bring back the option of abandoning Corvium, an idea which was raised in the last meeting. Without the war and the choke’s trenches filled with soldiers, Corvium is just a huge but random stronghold instead of a death gate. It’s a reasonable plan, but it might be yet another trap by Maven to lure us away and to dissemble from his real schemes.

Evangeline, who was the first to volunteer, doesn’t give up so easily. Her dress is changed partly into an armour, partly formed into makeshift weapons and trinkets which she throws on the ground to use as anchors to jump away from. It’s almost like flying and I gaped when I saw it for the first time. Now, two hours later, I only glance at her every now and then, fascinated by the beauty of it and yet noticing her sombre mood. Fighting and using her ability seem like her only release and I can relate to that. While she still denies how fruitless this search is, I want to run to the electricon hill and call my lightning with Ella, Tyton and Rafe. Maybe they’re doing exactly that, only here instead of in Piedmont. So I spin on my heal and dash back to the city.

The huge breach where we fought catches my attention and I see Farley walking there, her hands on the wall. I go to her and she turns to me. She looks around as I approach her. “Hey Mare, are you alone? Good.”

I frown.

“Did you know,” she says, “there’s a Newblood in the Piedmont base who can control and shape rocks?”

I shake my head.

“That’s not surprising. He’s arrived recently with his family. He would’ve been very handy in this fight, of course. But he’s only fourteen and much too young for this.”

“Right,” I agree, and think of Cameron. She wasn’t much older when we recruited – abducted – her, and she needed a long time to arrange herself with the situation. We deserved her reproaches. We shouldn’t repeat this way of “recruitment” ever again. Then I work out why Farley was nervous before. “You don’t want the Silvers to know about this boy?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “No, that wouldn’t be a good idea. The Silvers don’t have that kind of respect for childhoods, do they?”

From the corner of my eyes, I can still see Evangeline’s jumps. 

Corvium changes dramatically in the next two weeks and it turns more and more into a garrison, with almost relaxed inhabitants. At least they can feel like that. Enough Reds  - and some Silvers – start to believe in the alliance and it unsettles me how easily they’re convinced. I guess anything is better than waiting for death in the trenches or by Maven’s revenge. I can’t trust the idea that Maven will give up Corvium like this. Maybe it’s easier for the Red soldiers who are less tense and waiting for relocation, as that’s what’s happening. Farley is in charge of them and while she’s recruiting those willing to fight on and to become members of the Scarlet Guard, she often goes to Corvium’s sister city Rocasta where the released Red soldiers are stationed. Those who can’t live like this any longer. They wait to be relocated but that option has to be restricted, as both travelling and safe places are limited. Of course, most of them want to be with their families, but while we can’t force anyone to stay who’s willing to run on their own risks, if they returned to their homes, the shadow of rebel collaboration might fall on them, especially if their home town is loyal to Maven.

To my surprise, the Silvers don’t object, as long as Farley, General Akkadi and the other Red officers report on their numbers and the Silvers deem them high enough, high enough to build their joint army. While most soldiers cling to their own, one division is mixed where the Silvers include some Reds as officers among the Silver ones. It’s supposed to be a revolutionary project, but it isn’t, as Maven did the same thing with his Newbloods. Ironically, the joint army was Tiberias’s idea, as was the shadow legion a year ago. I wonder if that satisfies him, to somehow revive his concept and to train the soldiers himself. He seems to when he talks about them and he even dares to look at me more often during these reports. Those glances are invitations, I think, to come and visit their training, at best to stand beside Tiberias, the rightful king, and witness the cooperation of Reds, Silvers and Newbloods. Only that it happens on Tiberias’s terms, not the Scarlet Guard’s

I’ve carefully avoided to visit and I left the part of Tiberias’s Red partner as commander and trainer to a woman of Farley’s and Davidson’s choice. Her name is Saraline Barnes and spends her spare time often with Farley. They must have known each other for some time and that past connects them. With her, Farley seems almost girlish. I suspect Farley carries a photo of Clara around and has shown it to Saraline who’s happy for her, despite everything else. Saraline, a black woman, is a soldier of the Guard and has been in Corvium for months, almost since I’ve learned of my powers, and she’s as battle-hardened as Farley. As many of us are. I don’t know what she went through, but she has lost neither her assertiveness, nor the ability to smile for a friend, and I’m glad for both of them to have met again.

Instead, I end up training with the Newbloods. I think Kilorn would be disappointed with us Guards in Corvium. But I try to take his efforts to heart and sometimes go with Farley to meet with the Red soldiers. Fortunately, her commanding presence keeps them from treating me as either some kind of icon or a traitor. Or maybe I’ve finally become Operative Barrow to them, instead of the legendary Lightning Girl.

I reserve my lightning for the Newbloods and their commander, General Akkadi. She’s as authoritative as any of the Silvers. Her Newblood soldiers are loyal to a fault and she secures them places to live and train in as good as can be. I meet her during a bustling training session but unlike to actual battle, it’s possible to talk. She’s curious to learn about Guard members, such as me, as I’m curious about her. Her first name is Selene. She has bronze skin and is in her mid-fourties, although her hair is already grey and fixed in a long braid. She grew up in Montfort and tells me her ability is prophecy and for a second, I flinch, thinking of Jon. But she isn’t like him, she’s more like an Eagrie eye, a seer of the immediate future. She has a far greater reach than them though, and superhuman reflexes to act on her visions.

I understand better what she means when I see her fight other Newbloods. Neither a strongarm, swift nor teleporter are able to lay a hand or foot on her as she dodges all their attacks. Instead she aims at their weak spots with an uncanny precision, often scoring a potentially fatal blow in seconds.

“Close combat isn’t everything,” I say when she leaves the ring.

“True, true,” she admits, unperturbed by my little tease. “But that’s not all I can do.” She smirks. “A battle is different, as being a commander is different. I can see the future of … the whole of the fight and of almost every soldier in my vision as well. So, I might order them to act as if each of them has my gift.

"In theory, at least. It’s hard to communicate and making them understand what I need them to do in the chaos. I’ve learned to deal with the distraction visions can be, but nothing is ideal.” A dry laugh escapes her throat. “If we had a whisper or someone similar, they might transmit what I see to everyone else, like a perfect conduit. If we could trust them, that is,” she adds, noticing my severe frown at the thought of a whisper among us.

Tiberias wishes for one as well, for very different reasons.

The idea of someone else in my head continues to make me shiver with horrible memories and I need several moments to focus again on the here and now.

Akkadi doesn’t touch me but turns around and squats in front of me. Her dark brown eyes are warm, but something more than compassion sparkles in them.

“There’s a woman in Maven’s army who’s like me,” she tells me. “A Silver, but maybe the most powerful eye there is.”

Ambition, I realize. The Silver woman wakes Akkadi’s joy about challenge and competition. “General Aude Eagrie,” she explains. “She has��whispers to aid her. She’s the heir to her house and has been at the choke for ages, a venerable veteran. Yet she’s lost Corvium twice now.”

Akkadi probably desires to meet the Silver general in person and to duel her herself to examine who’s truly the better of them. I don’t know much about this Aude. I heard of some quarrel about the inheritance of the title of House Eagrie, the candidates being an eccentric young man, a lady with royal blood and a lady general who must be Aude. I wonder if her efforts in the fake war can really outbalance her long absences from court. Then I banish the idea. I doubt the family quarrels are severe enough to get them at each other’s throats and if we’re lucky, the High Houses are done with before the question becomes serious. The Eagrie title isn’t my problem, but I realize I’m still trying to memorize, analyse and use all information I can get, as I did during my imprisonment.

I slap my thighs, clench my fists and take a breath. I jump from my seat. “You’re impressing, General,” I say to Akkadi. “But now it’s my time to spar”. I catch Ella’s eyes from the other end of the gym. She nods and I faintly see she’s smiling as I move to the ring. 

The daily pre-lunch meetings of Red and Silver officers are another kind of battle. Although words and gestures are the only weapons, these discussions are fiercer than training. They’re pretend, of course. I understand that we sit down every day to talk as if we’re truly allies but we quarrel the whole time. If Davidson’s trying to deceive the Silvers through false promises and information, I’m unaware of his means. It’s like the people at this table deciding over the fate of Corvium are just actors in his play.

I don’t forget my suspicion but it’s no excuse from being unfocused in those meetings. People like the Samos’ or Anabel, who call themselves royals, are too dangerous to be disregarded.

But these table discussions are revealed to be fake and useless once you know about the subterfuge.

I almost pity Tiberias sitting at his place of honour. He’s learned to present a majestic image outside of battle by now, as he’s dressed in a tailored and bejewelled uniform. I’m not immune against his sight, as handsome as ever. But the longer I dare to look at him, the more I feel the sting. He’s the perfect Silver prince again, one of them, as if he’s never been a rebel. At least Maven is aware of the difference between truth and image whereas Tiberias seems – as if he likes part of it? No, that can’t be, I can see how uncomfortable he is beneath his regal mask. And it’s not like I’ve granted him a chance to be with me at other places than this table.

Tiberias remains silent for most of the time and lets his allies and new advisors talk, in some kind of imitation of Volo Samos. Volo, in turn, still prefers to have his son present his side, as if Ptolemus is some kind of apprentice prince.

“Maven is again on a tour across Norta and is difficult to locate in advance,” Ptolemus explains.

Maven’s probably inspecting his defenses.

“It’s likely he’s expanded his railway network,” he adds and then pauses. I see the interest on Ptolemus’s face. Despite his and Evangeline’s unrest during our first trip with the train, he’s developed a fancy for the vehicle. He clears his throat. “General … Farley,” he begins, “It’s no secret the Scarlet Guard possesses access over a railway network, too. It would be a great advantage to our alliance if we had the same means …,” he stops mid-sentence as he looks up from his papers and notices that Farley doesn’t even glance in his direction. She’s literally turning away from him, her fists clenched so tight her knuckles turn white.

I realize she’s never looked at him when he talked. Ptolemus gapes and searches the table for reassurance for a second. All he gets is the steely expression on his father’s face. He can only continue.

“General Farley, I, in the name of my father, ask you for the locations as well as a map of the Guard’s trains.”

Finally, Farley turns with a swift motion into an adamant demeanour. “No,” she answers with a vicious smile.

Ptolemus blinks. “May I remind you we agreed to cooperate to tumble Maven’s regime? Withholding information -”

“I can’t remember a promise of sharing all of our assets and intelligence,” she interrupts him sharply. Her smile has vanished and is exchanged for an icy glare.

She walks a thin line between displaying the smallest shred of diplomacy and her outright contempt for him. Maybe it’s not the best course of action, but I can’t help feeling a little proud of her.

Ptolemus touches the bridge of his nose. “You’re obstinate. General. After all, we’ve done our best to support and provide for your re – ah, soldiers – “

“You mean we poor Reds should be grateful that you finally grant us enough food and good lodgings?!” I erupt. “Oh, of course, we’re barely able to take care of ourselves, are we?”

Ptolemus’s confusion is quickly replaced by angry indignation. “Indeed, we …, ” he starts to explain himself before his face changes into a sneer. “What are you even doing her, Barrow? This is a congregation of nobles and officers.”

His jibe merely fuels me. I grin until my scars hurt and turn to the future king of Norta. “Tiberias, what do you say to that? And I not allowed to be here?”

The way his expression changes when our eyes meet nowadays has become familiar, and it’s both hurt and satisfaction for the two of us. One after the other, disbelief, rejoice and then disappointment rush over his face. Then he regains his princely appearance and declares, “Mare Barrow deserves to be here and is a welcome member of this committee. She stays, as long as she wishes.” His grandmother frowns at this while Tiberias loses his seriousness for a moment and gives me a tiny smile.

I feel the corners of my mouth twitching as well. I turn away quickly. By now Farley’s aggressive posture has relaxed a little, but she’s still tense. I know she’s proud of her position as a general, but it’s not easy for her. She’s new to the job, and with Townsend dead, she’s the only Command general of the Scarlet Guard present in Corvium. She has to make these important decisions on its behalf in this volatile alliance and I’m not sure how much information she’s been able to glean from the secretive Command so far.

“So, we’ll do nothing about the trains?” Ptolemus asks into the silence, not letting go of his idea.

There’s no answer until a chair scratches on the floor and Davidson stands up. “May you excuse my interruption, your Highness. We should keep this option in mind. Sirs, madams, I fear we’re over the scheduled time already. If there are no other urgent topics,” he smiles excessively friendly, “I think we should return to our tasks at hand.”

Murmurs and relief replace the tension at the table. A few people voice agreement while others can’t wait to get up. I’m one of them. 

I follow Farley when we leave the conference room. This time, she storms off. Anger fuels her and while I feel my own upset about Cal, I cling to her. I see Cameron joining us as well. She wasn’t in any of the meetings, but she comes with us nonetheless. She looks worried. Farley stops and turns when she notices her. She snorts.

“Cole,” she barks, “you were more right that I would’ve ever thought.”

Cameron nods gravely but Farley sighs when she looks at me. “Those Silvers will always be a pain in the ass. Why can’t that little Samos bastard be dead already!”

I flinch at the mention of Ptolemus and it doesn’t escape Farley’s keen eyes. “Mare? Don’t you agree?”

I want to nod, to shout, yes, I want to electrocute him by returning to the meeting room immediately. But my memory remains, the promise I made to Evangeline. I shouldn’t care about it, as they haven’t ever cared about me. But I’ve seen the love and despair in Evangeline’s eyes that day and whatever I think of Shade’s killer, the idea of revenge becomes a double-edged sword.

I want to see him dead, sometimes all of them. But where would that end?

Love – loss – and despair are the emotions that show on Farley’s face now as well. I should’ve realized before. She’s raged against Evangeline and her parents before, but they weren’t the cause of her anger. I overlooked how deliberately she avoided Ptolemus’s sight. Because she wants to see him dead and shredded as much as I did.

“I … let’s go to your room.” I spin my head to stress the need for privacy, and Farley seems to agree, reluctantly. Her fierce expression doesn’t lose intensity once we’re in. Cameron still tags along, both worried and curious.

I take a breath but it doesn’t help me face Farley when I say it. “Evangeline freed me in exchange for promising not to kill her brother.”

I glance at her from the corners of my eyes. Disbelief washes over her. “How could you …?” she whispers, barely audible.

I stop eschewing her. “Yeah, I had the same thought. But what choice did I have?!”

Farley winces and inclines her head in understanding. Yet her anger doesn’t vanish. She’s the one to look away now, her hands on her hips.

“Farley,” Cameron calls out finally. Just her voice seems to level the heated mood in the room for a moment. I wish she would go on, but Farley speaks again.

“Then I’ll have to kill him.”

I’m used to her determination and relentlessness, but her thirst for revenge unsettles me. I shouldn’t judge her, I shouldn’t discourage her, but I remember too well how powerless I felt next to the magnetrons during the six months of my imprisonment and a part of me fears for her, despite her prowess in battle.

“Farley,” Cameron says again. “There’s more than murder at stake.” Farley glances at her, then clears her throat and blinks.

Pretty words aren’t much aid with such pain and grief as hers - or mine. It still gnaws on her, and I know nothing to do but say, “Diana. You told me it’s better to live for something.” I don’t dare to be plainer because she deserves better than to be berated about being overeager and rash or uncaring about risking her life and leaving Clara as an orphan. She must know this herself, even if I feel the need to remind her.

She gapes at first, then laughs joylessly. “Right, who says I’d die? Or do anything rash? The Samos brat isn’t worth it.”

To my surprise, Cameron says, “I’d help you.”

To my greater surprise, I add, “I would as well.” Both turn their heads to me as my bad conscience kicks back in. Yet deep down, the urge for vengeance has never left me.

I shake my head. “The goal is to end Silver monarchies. So, I’ll finish Ptolemus Samos well before he ascends another throne.” I almost expect another dirty laugh but Farley remains quiet this time. She merely nods with her arms crossed. Cameron starts to leave and I’m about to follow her, but then Farley closes the distance between us - and hugs each of us. Cameron seems even more startled than I but her expression softens quickly. “I’m your friend,” she says. “And we’ll end it.”

I hear Farley’s heavy breathing while she embraces me and I wonder if she’s fighting tears, and how many times she’s fought them in her life already.

“I wished so often – “ she murmurs. “I thought the greater good is enough, but – how  could I ever explain to Clara that he lives?”

I stroke her back. “I know.”

The harmonic moment doesn’t last long. We let go and smile at each other. Grimly. Cameron mentions something about repairs to be made and rushes off. She has found something else to do, while her life as a techie has given her knowledge she uses of her own terms now. I want to leave as well, but I’m less sure where to go. I hesitate, fumbling for words, and make some random gestures as I moves to the door.

“Mare, wait,” Farley’s voice cuts through the room and I frown at her sudden change of tone, her amusement gone. I turn to her, but she doesn’t continue. Not yet. I wonder if she still plots against Ptolemus and can’t let go so easily.

“I’m sorry, Mare. I should’ve apologized long ago,” she says instead and I blink in confusion. Farley lowers her head but her eyes are focused on me, as intense as ever.

“I have – I’ve never given you a choice either. I’ve lied to you, and used you, and it’s time to stop acting innocent and righteous about this. We need to be honest.”

I feel myself plummeting into a hole, into dark times I’m not ready to face out of a sudden. I don’t want to think about what she might mean, but the memory of that moment on the Blackrun, when we screamed at each other with Shade’s corpse between us, shoves itself into my consciousness.

Farley comes closer to me. “Mare? I’m sorry to throw you off your guard like this. I mean … I should just say it.” Yet she hesitates and her hand faintly brushes my shoulder. I take several breaths. My vision blurs and clears again and I lift my head to her. I stare back, knowing I should listen to her and be done with it. It’ll never be easy. I can deal with it, then I can still yell at her.

Farley seems to understand my agreement. She nods. “You might’ve figured out that I always knew that Shade wasn’t dead …  back then.” She has to clear her throat at those words. “I used your grief and anger to motivate you to join the Guard.”

She���s right, I’ve figured this out long ago but I had much greater worries during that time. And what is the point now? Shade is still dead and I can’t regret joining the rebellion. I regret many things, but not that. I shake my head. “Yes, that was heartless, Farley. I didn’t need that motivation and Shade should’ve known that, too. Because you did meet him while I was Mareena, didn’t you?”

She blushes at my indication and her stance wavers slightly. “Indeed,” she confirms, “we should’ve realized. But have you never thought it could’ve been different? I could’ve gotten you out of the palace if I’d tried, if you’d asked.”

“Since when do we talk about lost chances? I haven’t asked because I thought I was doing the right thing.” I cackle. “You don’t have to pamper me.”

She sighs but doesn’t relax. She isn’t done yet. “But I’m still a liar. I didn’t notice immediately, but once I did, I felt too coward to bring this up. That you believed me when I requested that money for transporting you and Kilorn. But I was joking. I would’ve helped you anyway. For Shade.”

Again, I need a moment to process her words. I understand all that could’ve been avoided if she’d been more honest and plain. How different everything could’ve been, if Gisa’s hand was never injured? Despite my former dismissal, I feel my anger rise. My life hasn’t been my own for such a long time. Maybe never. I ’ve been a pawn shoved back and forth by players other than me. I think about how Maven was made, no, all of us, myself included. Will it never end?

I bat Farley’s chest so she has to step back. Tears run over my cheeks as I spit at her when I yell, “you’re such an awfully good actress, Diana Farley! Are you hoping to manipulate people so you’ll get what you want?”

She has the decency to lower her head, but that only lasts a moment. She isn’t afraid to face me, she never is. My rage already starts to calm as reason kicks in. I know why she did all that and that she’ll never stop fighting until we’ve won. But that can’t change the way betrayal feels.

“I know what I am and what I’ve done,” Farley admits. “But even when you shout at me and resent me for this, and feel down because of me, we both know that you deserve better than play pretend. You deserve the truth, especially now. And I don’t want to be your friend if I lie to you.” After these words, she turns away.

I move to her bed and sit down. I cover my eyes with my palms to stop the tears but of course it doesn’t work like that. I hear how Farley sits down next to me yet she doesn’t touch me or tries to comfort me in another way. Her presence has to be enough. Eventually, I uncover my eyes and see her open palm, outstretched like it’s an invitation. I take it and squeeze.

“I forgive you,” I say, as haughtily as possible with a tear-stained voice.

Farley squeezes back. “All of us have made mistakes and lost important things … and people. But while you and I and other rebels have fucked things up, not everything is our fault. In the end, it’s the Silvers who are guilty, and those are who we fight. We can’t forget that.” She sighs. “I’m just trying to be better.”

There’s grief in her voice. I realize how much she’s changed since I met her for the first time, how loss and love have shaped her anew. I suppose she wants to be a good leader, mother and friend. But I mourn how much pain she has suffered to grow to become a better person. And I know the same applies to me.

I lean against her. For the second time this day, we just hug and take comfort from each other. It relaxes me, calms me, but after a few minutes, I realize this isn’t enough. There’s still too much frustration boiling inside of me and I long for activity. I let go of her, rise and walk to the door.

“Where are you going?” Farley stands up as well and goes after me. I don’t turn to her.

“Do you intend to follow me all day now?”

She comes closer until I see her crossing her arms from the corner of my eyes. “Do you want to be alone?”

What do I want?

To see Maven’s corpse and I know I no longer have to fear him.

To slap Tiberias – Cal, and yell at him for his mistakes, half-heartedness and lack of compassion until he kneels before me in submission.

To have Cal kiss me, hug me, touch me, fuck me, until I’m burning inside and feel only love and passion instead of despair.

Or I just want to go out, grab Ella and have her teach me how to make a storm huge enough so I’ll feel nothing but its voltage and the electric current coursing through me.

Finally, I turn to Farley. “I’m going to train with Ella.”

She cocks her head yet abstains from the obvious reply, wondering if I’m not too keyed up to use my ability. What else should I do? Training, or just running, is the best way to calm me down. Physical exercise is the only thing that makes me sleep at night when I slowly get used to being alone again.

Before I say anything else, Farley gives me an encouraging smile. “I’ve nothing else to do. I’m coming with you.”

The gym is buzzing with excitement when we arrive. I make out General Akkadi fighting once more on the sparring grounds.

She has it harder today. Her movements to dodge her opponent’s attacks are slower, as if this duel has lasted for some time. Or the opponent is just stronger and more vicious because - to my astonishment - she’s fighting Evangeline.

I wince. I’ve no idea how she escaped her family and their Silver cronies and got past our soldiers patrolling these quarters. The crowd doesn’t seem to mind and watches in awe. It’s really the end of the duel. Akkadi closes the distance to Evangeline despite the metal shards hurled into the air. Akkadi snatches one of them and holds it against Evangeline’s bare throat while she punches her gut.

Evangeline stumbles despite her armour and Akkadi just turns and says, “I win,” as she leaves the ring. She sees Farley and me, grins, and greets us.

“General Farley, have I told you about my son yet?” I hear her say behind me because I find myself walking to the ring where Evangeline remains standing.

“Do you have the power for another duel in you, Princess?” I say. 

A/N: IDK if I can say this at another point, so I explain here. Akkadi has a teenage son who currently lives with her ex-husband. They’re co-parents and the son a Newblood too, a swift, and Akkadi thinks Farley would like to know about stuff like that. 

And I finally brought Saraline from Steel Scars back into the story.

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