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alittledizzy · 1 month ago

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okay thoughts/timestamps for the phanniversary newlywed game video!! (random breaks are to appease the tumblr gods)

youtube

:55 - The capitalesterification of things that used to be unspoken fandom holidays is startling to me still. Jarring, even. It's theirs to own; I'm not really mad about it. But it feels weird. 2:00 - "You are our third in this video. The questioning third." I need a shot, actually. 2:13 - Dan referencing how they are basically the same person at this point before it even starts. 2:27 - Who would be caught tied to a wall at furcon? Unanimously Dan. This doesn't surprise me at all; my headcanon for a while has been that Dan is more likely to identify as a furry while Phil is more likely to be fascinated watching furries have sex but not identify with any other aspects of it as much. I think Phil probably just enjoys things a bit to the left of center, in general, even if he doesn't want to partake himself. 3:32 Who is bossies? Unanimously Phil. I love this little peak into their dynamic. Ignoring the "stinky baby" thing, they are bossy in different ways. Dan is more big picture trying to accomplish goals and Phil is more to try and satisfy his individual needs.

4:05 - Who is more likely to cut the video off due to a sponsor? Obviously this one is Phil, and cue spon segment that I skipped the first time and am skipping now. 5:28 - Who would accidentally answer the door with no pants on? Unanimously Phil. I think this just speaks to a little more of Phil's general obliviousness and ability to be in his own bubble when he's comfortable, which is kind of fascinating considering Phil seems more anxious and hyperalert when they are in public. 5:50 - Who drinks more? Unanimously Dan. We knew this already about Phil being a lightweight and Dan not being one, but I do enjoy confirmation that Phil is just a silly drunk and the shoutout to a classic dinof video. 6:36 - Who is the gayest? Unanimously Phil. This does not surprise me at all and I am going to answer an ask specifically just about this. But tl;dr I think Phil has a very binary sense of attraction and Dan doesn't. Also he gets a gold star for "the concept of women." 7:02 - Who's most likely to get a tattoo? Unanimously Phil. This Phil lore is interesting and I do think he'll end up with a tattoo at some point. 8:20 - Who is most likely to have the next medical emergency? Unanimously Phil. His body really is a fail. :(

8:42 - Who is better at time management? So many questions in and the first differing response!! This immediately took me back to the roulette game. Good to know Dan has not changed in his stubbornness, and also that he believes a divorce is when he can't see Phil for five seconds. 9:44 - Who snores more when sleeping? Unanimously Phil. rip everyone on that tour bus, apparently? Now I need to know if Dan is the type to just put in earplugs, or if he wakes Phil up when it's too loud. 10:16 - Who starts more arguments? Their second differing response, and imo the most satisfying moment of the video. Insert this type of domestic into my vein. Dan is pettier about small things but he says he's just pointing things out/observing it, and to him he's just verbalizing it and to Phil it's Dan starting an argument. Phil wants Dan to let more things just wash over him. 11:10 - Who kills/removes the spiders? Unanimously Phil, which we already knew but I love a good renewed confirmation that he removes them with a glass instead of killing them. 11:31 - Who is more likely to stand up for the other when a restaurant gets their order wrong? Unanimously Dan, followed by the beautiful phrasing of Phil not even complaining if he got "the cheese super allergy knife bowl, mmm tasty." But the dichotomy here that I really love is how in the microcosm of their relationship Phil is bossier, more outspoken with turning things into arguments, and more likely to ask for and get his way… but when it comes to outside of the relationship Dan finds that more comfortable. Dan really does have that older sibling-verging-on-mom override.

11:53 - Who's more likely to be lurking on social media? Unanimously Phil. Dan is traumatized and I do believe he doesn't want to know or see the commentary on himself or his projects except through a filter. Philter. Sorry. I'll move on. 12:10 - Who is the bigger nerd? Unanimously Dan. Dan does seem more for ADHD style hyperfixation whereas Phil is more of a lifetime fandom person. 12:47 - Which one of you is the alpha? They each answered themselves, but neither of them took this seriously. Phil is right tbh they are both betas. 13:17 - Phil doesn't like being told what to do. This is probably my second favorite part of the video. I feel like it makes sense but isn't something I would readily think of; he doesn't like confrontation so it's not an element of his personality that we would see come out a lot. But he's also someone that's essentially never been in a scenario past the school age where he really had to answer to anyone above him. He's equal in his relationship, he's financially independent, he's in control of his career. Any 'boss' he's had was an unconventional scenario (like BBC1 where he didn't have to apply to be there, he was invited) and while he's worked hard he's just done it of his own volition and not due to anyone outside of himself and his partnership requiring it.

13:29 - Who's more likely to flirt with the waiter? Unanimously Phil, which I love because this is really a slice of true Dan. He didn't once try to imply that he's the lolz horny on grindr getting those hookups slut boy summer persona. Dan is only that in theory; in reality he's worrying about politics and his own anxiety and making sure Phil wasn't served cheese allergy knife soup. 13:59 - Who's more likely to become a stripper? Unanimously Dan. Shoutout to the nakedbooth era of 2009. I also appreciate his point about how being any kind of content creator is similar. 14:40 - Who is most likely to leave their hair in the shower wall? Opposing answers, but Phil's logic is flawed. It isn't who will see it, it's who would do it. Confirmation from Dan again that Phil is very messy and also still uses three towels. 15:04 - Who has a worse sense of direction? Unanimously Phil. I really identify with this.

15:14 - Who has the highest screen time? Unanimously Dan, but they go into the differences in screen time. Phil seems to actively use his more whereas Dan uses it passively to watch things. Dan never lets his mind just be chill and doesn't want to be alone with his thoughts, whereas Phil can rawdog the laundry with nothing playing. Dan uses his phone for escapism, Phil uses it to seek out information. 15:52 - Bubbly Ben coming in clutch with "Whom's ass claps the hardest?" - I need an oil painting of Dan's expression as Phil reads this. And the caption should be, "Answer the fucking question, Phil." (It is, obviously, a unanimous Phil.) Followed by one of Dan's patented over the top 'we crossed a line' which I'll forgive him for in this one instance since the entire video was fairly free of his go-to filler quotes.

#phan #Youtube

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cheesecakeislazy · 5 months ago

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JEFF THE KILLER HEADCANONS BECAUSE FUCK YOU! (Jk I love you and hope your life is great)

1. Him and BeN are besties for life, ride or die, would suck the poison out of each others dicks (not gay though)

2. Jeff has eye drops on him 24/7 so he doesn’t go fucking blind

3. Jeff has anger issues, one moment he’s chill as fuck and then EJ told him something that pisses him off- and now there’s a stab wound in Toby, a hole in the wall, and an angry Slenderman.

4. Jeff is totally straight. He totally thinks boobs are awesome. And totally only boobs. (He’s bisexual and swears on god he’s straight.)

5. He wakes up at 2 pm because he hates being awake in the mornings

6. He’s a metal head. He blasts music from his room so loud you can hear it across the mansion (slender mansion AU)

7. His deep gravely ass voice is perfect for metal songs

8. He likes to paint his nails black, and black only any other color is fucking gay

9. His vocabulary is 90% cuss words

10. He rarely showers. Ironically the gamer showers more often than him. Jeff prefers to be a stinky son of a bitch (take that fangirls)

11. He makes up for it with his dental hygiene (kinda) he brushes them twice a day and they look perfect (mostly)

12. He has extra sharp canines

13. He named his knife “Knifu” aka his knife waifu

14. The knife has been used so much that it constantly reeks of bleach and blood; it has permanent blood stains on it

15. Jeff bites his nails pretty often

16. Jeff isn’t good with throwing knives- he also isn’t that good at stabbing…

17. Jeff literally just stabs and stabs until he thinks his victim is dead, he doesn’t know any major artery’s (did I spell that right?)

18. Jeff is dyslexic

19. Jeff is horrible at math but refuses to admit it

20. Jeff wears eyeliner but refuses to admit it

21. He secretly loves the color pink but refuses to admit it (see a pattern here yet?)

22. Jeff is super sensitive to light due to the fact he doesn’t have any eyelids

23. He wears black gloves because he has burn marks on his hands and hates it when people look at them (fingerless gloves as his fingers aren’t burnt)

24. Jeff really wants tattoos and piercings but can’t get any due to his skin being extremely sensitive and fragile

25. Jeff hates the sun, it hurts his eyes and skin

26. Jeff likes going to playgrounds at night because 1. Fucking swings are awesome and 2. Creepy

27. Fucker is 5’11 and constantly calls BeN a midget

28. Jeff had a small crush on Toby for a while and lowkey has a small crush on BeN but��

29. Jeff is highkey downbad for EJ (it’s one-sided)

30. If Jeff ever tried to cook, he would burn everything

31. Jeff is fucking terrified of fire

32. Sometimes Ben likes to scare Jeff shitless by lighting a small fire inside Bens hands infront of Jeff

33. Sometimes Jeff throws Ben inside a kiddy pool and watches him panic about drowning (he is fully above the water)

34. Despite the fact Jeff and Ben both fuck with each other and their fears, they do it in tame ways to ensure the other doesn’t actually have a panic attack of any kind

35. Jeff lives in sweatpants, jeans are for losers and shorts are gay

36. T-shirts and hoodies, Jeff literally does not own a single sweater, long sleeve, or tank top.

37. His favorite T-shirt says “Fuck me in my ass (but not in a gay way)”

38. His second favorite says “Emo metal loving slut”

39. Both and almost all of his t-shirts are black with either white or red/pink writing

40. It is Jeff’s goal to have every photo taken of him (with permission) to have him flipping off the camera

41. Jeff watches South Park but thinks Family guy is stupid

42. He tries really hard to get on Liu/Sully’s good side but his anger issues usually get in the way

43. Jeff and Nina are actually really good friends that lowkey view each other as family

44. Jeff and Nina love to piss each other off constantly (Ben will prank whoever he is asked to)

45. Jeff has tried to kill Jane quite a few times, and Jane is constantly trying to kill him

46. Jeff personally isn’t into weed but he doesn’t judge BeN for being a stoner lowkey

47. Jeff is a virgin but he wouldn’t be nervous at all about having sex

48. Jeff is a kinky bastard

49. Jeff likes a good bowl of strawberry ice cream

50. Jeff likes banana smoothies

51. Jeff owns a few Nirvana T-shirts

#creepypasta fandom #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta #jeff the killer #creepypasta jeff the killer #creepypasta ben drowned #my headcanons #jeff the killer headcanons #slenderverse #slenderman #i’m autistic #lol #bisexual #in denial

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fangs-trait · 1 year ago

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greying crow \ 28 yo \ real name is unknown \ ENTP

extensive lore below

wears an old mask of a crow with natural feathers. this mask once belongs to the famous black crow (better known as black raven whose more used nickname was kept a secret from greying crow) now in his possession

lives his life as a robber & might become a stalker (bastard route)

stinky and dirty. smells like carrion and blood

could eat a rat. would eat raw meat. most of time just hungry

got spine injury that didn't heal well. he has to wear a corset

he doesn't wash his swords he just throws them away when it gets too dirty or bloody. always buys the most cheap ones. same with his clothes except he just doesn't wash it at all or tries to "wash it" by going in the water clothed

already has visible grey strands due to psychological damage in his youth

motherless behavior. an orphan

got complicated conflict going on with a stalker in a white crow mask. she beat his ass when he tried to kill her off in an attempt of defending his mask's honor

he sleeps in white crow's bed in her house sometimes. they kiss each other's faces and drink wine naked while listening to good new records >:)

white crow really wants him to stop doing robbery and killing and become a stalker with her

the rest of time they mock each other. his most spoken line to her "if we were in the wild i would fucking eat you alive"

was on the way to krat when the game starts. wouldn't even try to come to malum district or main streets cause he doesn't want to deal with puppets or crazy stalkers like black rabbit brotherhood

might potentially die from petrification decease because he was touching infected people he robbed barehanded and maskless

#oc: greying crow #lies of p oc #txt #ts4 #ts4 cas #ts4 edit #simblr #ts4 lookbook

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rottenpumpkin13 · 4 months ago

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because I like to make my beloved stinky red poetry boy suffer, what would happen if Genesis had a stroke pre CC? A&S reactions?? degradation begins?

I bring you yet another sad AU that I won't write lmao

The lights above the combat sim blink, indicating that it's ready for him. Lazard asks if he's ready, and Genesis almost jokes that he was born ready, but holds back. He doesn’t want to jinx it. It’s not that he's worried. He only needs to match his previous score from last year, but he's confident he will surpass it. After all, he's only gotten better, sharper, his movements more calculated. He has no need to worry. It's just a standard performance review.

Genesis spends a moment in the silence while the program boots up, offering a few prayers to the Goddess as his thumb traces the hilt of his sword. No need to worry.

The gray walls dissolve into a forest. Again he pays attention to the details; the scent of pine, the low hum of the materia threatening to come to life in his bracer, the crunch of the leaves beneath his boots. He's ready. From the shadows, grotesque figures begin to materialize: monsters slithering through the underbrush. 1-2-3-4. Genesis knows the task at hand is simple, which is why he doesn't falter: kill them all. 5-6-6-8. They keep coming. 9-10-11-12.

His senses sharpen. 13-14-15-16. He launches into action. The red rapier slashes through the first wave of them, flames flaring from each blow. 17-18-19-20. Each maneuver is precise. It has to be, each strike calculated, he can't falter. 21-22-23-24. He knows eyes are on him—evaluating, scrutinizing, judging. 25-26-27-28. The pressure to perform fuels his need to get the job done quickly.

He becomes a blur of crimson, blood mixing with the color of his coat as he moves around the simulation. 29-30-31-32-34. The chime overhead signals that he's matched his previous record. He could stop now, rest on his achievements, but he can't bring himself to do it.

The excess adrenaline coursing through his veins urges him to continue. He pushes forward, the rapier cleaving through flesh and bone. 35-36-37-38. He's reaching Sephiroth's territory now, the skill level escalating. He knows he can do it, knows he can match Sephiroth’s record. 39-40-41-42.

Lazard's voice sounds over the speakers, urging him to stop, but Genesis ignores it. 43-44-45-46.

He ignores the alarm blaring in the background, the warnings flashing across his vision which grows blurrier by the second. He's consumed by the fight, by the need to prove himself. 47-48-49-50. His blood boils hot and thick in his veins, matching the heat that clings to him and makes him hungry for the release of the cooling aftershock once he reaches his goal. He needs to make it to 70.

He reaches 58 when his body betrays him. Exhaustion hits him with the force of a monster's jaws clamping shut on him, swallowing him whole as his limbs grow heavy and his movements sluggish. He falls to his knees, his heart racing uncontrollably as he fights to catch his breath. 58. So close.

The heat is unbearable, and he peels off his coat, desperate for relief. The simulation halts, the forest and monsters dissipating as the combat sim becomes blank once again.

Angeal, Sephiroth, and Lazard rush in as the doors open.

He's informed that he did surpassed his previous record, though he hasn't matched Sephiroth's. Still, the progress is undeniable. Genesis feels a swell of pride mixed with his fatigue as he nods in acknowledgment. This is fine. He just needs to rest now. He's tired but pleased, rising to his feet with his mind already drifting to creature comforts like a long, hot shower, apple cider, and then curling up in bed with a book. He just needs to get back to his apartment. He's done here.

Sure, he's walking a bit strangely, but he’s done here. Yes, his vision is blurry, but it's just the aftershock of the fight. He's fine.

He doesn't understand why Sephiroth is calling out to him, why his face looks so concerned, or why he keeps asking him to raise both arms above his head. Genesis complies, thinking it's so dramatic. And now Angeal is asking him to smile—also dramatic. Of course, he can smile, but he has no reason to now.

And now they're yelling for help, and Sephiroth is coming towards him. They're so dramatic. Of course he isn't having a stroke. He was fine only a minute ago. He beat his own record; they all saw. He's fine. His entire body feels numb, but he's fine, just tired.

He's trying to tell them that he's fine, but his words aren't coming out as intended. He's slurring his speech, and now they're dragging him away. He can't understand what's going on or why they're all yelling or why he's being taken to medical.

Suddenly, he can't understand anything at all.

All of that happened four weeks ago. Genesis slipped into a coma shortly after it.

Hollander says he was supposed to wake up two weeks ago, and they all expect to be there for him. It's the aftermath of a stroke, and Angeal and Sephiroth know there will be changes. Genesis will be angry, he will be upset, but they are going to be there for him. So why isn't he waking up?

That's the question Sephiroth asks Hollander one day. Hollander—who always acts as if he wants to say something whenever Sephiroth is around—hesitates.

Sephiroth is aware of the mutual disdain between Hollander and Hojo, and knows that in Hojo's eyes, Genesis is as good as dead under Hollander's care. Still, for Genesis' sake, Sephiroth has placed his trust in him. He's been consumed with guilt, blaming himself for the overexertion that caused Genesis' stroke. If he hadn't set an unattainable record, Genesis would never have tried to match it.

This time, Hollander grants him the courtesy of explaining what's really going on—that Genesis is degrading while in his coma.

Sephiroth asks about the degradation, if there's any way he can help. And Hollander smiles. He asks if Sephiroth really doesn't know. Of course, Sephiroth doesn't know. He doesn't know what's happening to Genesis, but he does know that whatever it is, he is going to help. He'll do anything in his power to cure him.

Anything.

Even if it means deserting Shinra after learning about the true horrors of what led Genesis to that state, that Angeal is next, that their whole existence has been a carefully concealed lie, and that he now needs to find the cure—or rather, as Genesis once said, the gift of the goddess.

#ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #sephiroth #final fantasy vii #genesis rhapsodos #angeal hewley #ff7 crisis core #ffvii crisis core #au

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loustyleshtommo · 7 months ago

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Song Theory of Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department: Track 28

Because Matty Healy is a stinky red herring. Let me tell you why Track 28 Peter is actually about Louis Tomlinson whose favorite number is 28, and present the evidence that Taylor Swift really said: forget that guy on the chief coming straight home to me. Goddess Karlie can STEP ON ME.

ps. I blame this entire song analysis on Taylor releasing folklore on One Direction’s 10th HBD.

Peter

Forgive me, Peter, my lost fearless leader

“my lost fearless” could refer to Taylor’s second studio album. She lost that masters to Big Machine. Before she announced her re-release of Fearless (Taylor’s Version), Louis released his solo debut album Walls, with a song called Fearless, “Cash in your weekend treasure for a suit and tie, a second wife” seemingly referencing her Lover era (ME! mv) as well as her past relationship with Dianna Agron and her present with Karlie Kloss.

“Now I’m not saying that you could’ve done better. Just remember that I, I’ve seen that fire alight.” Louis knew Taylor was planning to come out and was well on her way to execute that plan before it all went wrong. (Re: The 2019 NYC Pride Parade Outfit She Never Wore)

His song was encouraging her to become that fearless again. To tell her that he knew she tried. But why did Louis have to reassure Taylor? Why did Taylor feel the need to apologize to Louis?

In closets like cedar preserved from when we were just kids.

Both Louis and Taylor were queer kids who got stuck in the closets as soon as they stepped foot onto the music industry scene. It’s not a pleasant place to be. Just listen to the anxiety in Taylor’s voice when she asked “Are we out of the woods?”

Was it something I did?

Who could ever forget the Haylor Winter Romance? One Direction dropped their second studio album “Take Me Home”. During that promo season, Harry Styles and Taylor Swift got papped together a lot. The fandoms were divided. Some fans still believed in Larry Stylinson and/or Swiftgron. But the tabloids insisted it gotta be Haylor. Is it Taylor’s fault that they’re still stuck in the closet today? If she hadn’t participated in handholding in Central Park/NYE kiss/Blue Dress on a Boat, would everything be different today?

The goddess of timing once found us beguiling

Both Louis and Taylor were lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time for their music career to start like shooting stars (Louis: we were lucky once, I could be lucky again.)

The things about “beguiling” is that it doesn’t only mean enchanting/charming, it has the connotation of being deceptive. The goddess of timing did not find them to be truthful.

She said she was trying.

Actual deity is all powerful and rarely has to try. This is such a human quality. This person is comparable to a Goddess but she’s still just a person. I believe that the Goddess of Timing here is Kali, while the person Taylor is calling a Goddess is Karlie.

Kali is a Goddess from Hinduism aka the same place as the concept of karma (who is Taylor’s boyfriend when she wrote the songs. But once she put it out and performs it for the audience, she no longer thinks of the song Karma as her own. In her mind, it already belongs to the fans. And if that’s the kind of entertainment they’re expecting, she will continue to sing “Karma is the guy on the Chief coming straight home to me.” Because the Goddess already sees her as a liar, what difference adding one more lie is gonna make? (Did she forget about the last straw?))

Peter, was she lying?

For the Goddess of time, this is the same question about fame (what Taylor earned with the help of fortunate timing) that Taylor has been wondering about since her first Speak Now era: Never Grow Up (Keep this line in mind, it will come into play later: It’s so much colder than I thought it would be, so I tuck myself in and turn my nightlight on. Wish I’d never grow up. (Such a Peter Pan thing to think.) Continued into RED (Lucky One: Now my name is up in the light. I wonder if I’d make it out alive) All the way to Clara Bow in the tortured poets department. It’s the question that’s been haunting her for ages.

For the person comparable to the Goddess, was Karlie lying? Well, if she really is with Taylor then she’s also very deep in the closet and hiding a core truth about herself. So, yes, she was lying.

My ribs got the feeling she did

This is the line that cements it for me.

This Goddess must be Kali.

And Taylor fancies herself Kali’s consort.

One of the most popular form of Kali is Dakshina Kali. She is typically shown with her right foot on her consort’s chest. It’s a show of his devotion to her.

I got the information of Kali legend from Wikipedia, and this is what THE POETS got to say about the guy at her feet.

Here’s the thing, those who worship Kali are said to be able to overcome death itself. (Honey, I rose up from the death I do it all the time. Reputation is a Karlie album confirmed by a Goddess.)

Another thing about Kali is that she is not just a Goddess of Time. She is also known as Mother Goddess; Goddess of Time, Change, Creation, Power, Destruction and Death. (So basically, the entire theme of the Tortured Poets Department. Damn, girl. Way to talk about devotion.)

Another form of Goddess Karlie Kali with her left foot on her consort, Shiva, is much more violent. She was in uncontrollable rage. To stop her from destroying the entire universe, Taylor Shiva laid down on her warpath. When she stomped on him (and likely hurt his ribs in the process, ouch), she realized with horror that she had gone too far. (Taylor’s The Great War: The worst was over…I vowed, I will always be yours.)

And I didn’t want to come down.

I thought it was just goodbye for now.

The pre-chorus subject will later change from I to We, but the theme of thinking they would have more time keeps coming back around. Taylor still wanted her name up in the light. She thought she would have more time. She thought hiding crucial part of herself was just a temporary thing.

You said you were gonna grow up and you were gonna come find me.

This chorus is why I think the YOU in this song is Louis/Harry. The anxiety-inducing repetition is reminiscent of Out Of The Woods aka the song I believe was written from Louis’s perspective, and also contained one of her earliest blatantly queer-coded lyrics: The rest of the world was black and white but we were in screaming colors.

Said you were gonna grow up and you were gonna come find me.

In the early One Direction days, Louis once admitted that growing old is one of his worst fears. Isn’t that the most Peter Pan thing you’ve ever heard? Taylor be like “I think I’ve seen this film before, and I didn’t like the ending” This is one of the many reasons why I think William Bowery has never, ever, ever been Joe, but rather was actually Louis William Tomlinson (who curses like a sailer so much that infects Taylor. She never dropped f-bomb before she started writing with WB). The ships passing in the night imagery is such a Louis and Harry thing, and Taylor started using it heavily from 1989 onwards. Aka the album she wrote Style and invited the fella over there with a hella good hair to come shake it off.

Said you were gonna grow up and you were gonna come find me.

But can they really shake off the tumultuous emotions of hiding the love of your life like a skeleton in your closets? No matter how many hiding places she knew?

Words from the mouth of babes

Exhibit A to infinity: baby boyfriends

Promises oceans deep

Rope & Anchor, Ship & Compass, Pirates and nautical theme couple tattoos. You name it, they got it. Louis’s Strong and Harry’s Happily lethal combo: My hand, your hand tied up like two ships. I don’t care what people say when we’re together.

But never to keep

Exhibit crying in a cool way:

1D’s Something Great: The script was written and I could not change a thing.

1D’s Story of My Life: Written on these walls are the stories that I can’t explain

Harry horse-noises-and-i-would-lean-towards-no Styles, Sweet Creature who? Never heard of her.

Louis doesn’t-know-what-tattoo-he-got Tomlinson, but this compass is so sweet for pointing home, innit?

Never to keep

How many times are they going to have to deny their love? How many times do they have to parade around with someone else for the camera? How many times do they have to bring up conspiracies and how unfair it is for their loved ones? They keep doing things that practically break a promise of ALWAYS IN MY HEART. Are they doomed to never keeping their promises?

Are you still a mind reader?

It’s not just Louis’s Fearless song before she unlocked the vault to Fearless (Taylor’s Version), just look at the way he wrote lyrics that Taylor clearly had in mind:

Louis in Don’t Let It Break Your Heart: I know you left a part of you in New York

Taylor in Hoax: You knew I left a part of me back in New York

Louis for 1D’s Love You Goodbye: Baby, go on, twist the knife

Taylor in Hoax: my twisted knife, my winless fight

Louis for 1D’s Midnight Memories first leaked: Diana, let me be the one to lift your heart up and save your life. I don’t think you even realize, but, baby, you’d be saving mine.

Taylor in reputation’s Call It What You Want: You don’t have to save me. But would you run away with me? Yes. And keep this line in mind: My baby’s fly like a jet stream.

A natural scene stealer?

I mean, I am very biased. But Louis has always stolen the scene. Whether it be “NO! Jimmy protested” on the staircase, Kevin the Pigeon, it said do not dial 9 so I dialed 9, or when singing/carrying 1D choruses, especially clear in What Makes You Beautiful and Story of My Life a cappella version.

In relation to Taylor, as soon as Haylor officially ended according to tabloid, Louis proceeded to get this giant Swift bird tattoo in his right arm.

And remember the game 1D played for FOUR promo? Louis wasn’t even trying to do anything funny and the universe was like let’s make sure the pulling-words-out-of-hats game has the funniest possible outcomes.

Harry: mine said Louis Tomlinson

Niall: got papped snogging

Zayn: Taylor Swift

*chaos erupts*

Louis: *incredulous laughter*

Harry: *seize the opportunity for the funniest joke ever* I mean, you could’ve told me

Louis: Jesus.

Anyhow, I digress. Niall said without Louis, 1D would be the most boring band in the world.

I’ve heard great things, Peter.

I mean, World Tours/Festivals/Faith in the Future. Yup, great things indeed. But it also implied that they hadn’t seen each other in person for a while. (That’s why I still on the clown train that WB is Louis. They wrote together in lockdown. Nobody was out to see anybody.)

But life was always easier on you than it was on me.

This is where I am extremely dubious of my own clown theory. I don’t believe Louis had it easier than Taylor, especially given how he lost his mom and his sister. But it helps that the next line made it clear which aspect of life she was talking about.

And sometimes it gets me, when crossing your jet stream.

This line really takes Harry out as a contender for being Peter/you. Because he already has his own place here. He’s the “your jet stream”. My baby’s fly like a jet stream. Harry is Louis’s baby. It’s been well-documented in the Larry Stylinson fandom/organization/conspiracy/call it what you want to. 😂

We both did the best we could do underneath the same moon in different galaxies.

Both Taylor and Harry did the best they could do under the same circumstance. From the point of view on earth, there is only one moon. It seems so big and just within reach. But when we zoom out to the level of galaxies, it’s practically impossible to pinpoint the same moon among billions of other celestial bodies. Yet, the dark night cycle for Taylor and Harry is exactly the same. They’re both stuck in the same style of closet from when they were just kids. (Womanizer/Slut aka someone with many different partners, before it shifted to long-term low-key/marriage material themes. Likely due to the songs they kept writing which couldn’t possibly be about one-night stands, no matter which angle anyone look at it. The messages are loud and clear. They are in love and deeply devoted to one person only.) The difference is Taylor didn’t get to meet Karlie before the industry broke her spirit down. (Let all your damage, damage me.) But Louis and Harry have always had each other to rely on. #welivetogetherdealwithit.

Harry was once asked if falling in love is the best part of a relationship. Well, he said he actually believed the best part after that initial rush of infatuation is becoming a team. If that’s not enough to sound like someone in a long-term committed relationship. Harry also has a habit of singing “I’m in love with Lou and all his little things”/ “You’re still the one I run to, the one that I belong to. You’re still the one I want for life.” /“Hopelessly devoted to Lou.”

So, yeah. No wonder Taylor believed life was always easier on Louis and Harry than it was on her. Not even mentioning the things she said on The Man: I’m so sick of running as fast as I can, wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man.

And I didn’t wanna hang around.

So Karlie and Harry was seen hanging out once and never again.

We said it was just goodbye for now.

I think Louis/Harry and Taylor/Karlie were always planning to come out at the same time, but that coming out schedule kept getting postponed.

You said you were gonna grow up and you were gonna come find me.

Said you were gonna grow up and you were gonna come find me.

Words from the mouth of babes

Promises oceans deep

But never to keep

Never to keep

It’s the same ol’ shit, just different days. The anxious anticipation and fear of consequences for when they finally come out feel oceans deep. They can’t get rid of it. But they still can’t commit to it 100% either. All they could do was making promises after promises with blatant Easter eggs like Harry running around with rainbow flags on stage, Louis wearing a giant golden H on his chest for his livestream during COVID-19 lockdown, Taylor’s entire Lover era. The list goes on and on.

And I won't confess that I waited, but I let the lamp burn.

I’m gonna let the burning of Lover house in the Eras tour speak for itself. Their plan to come out was a failure time and time again.

As the men masqueraded, I hoped you'd return.

As Taylor kept switching out these Kens, while stuck in the same ol’ closet, she still hoped Louis won’t give up on their plan.

Well, here’s Louis in Just Like You aka the song he announced on National Coming Out Day saying: 25 and it’s all planned.

Did that plan include dropping his album Walls with Come so far from Princess Park & For every question why, you were my because on the last day that Harry was 25 years old? Because that happened.

And here’s Taylor in Lover for Death By A Thousand Cuts: Paper cuts sting from our paper thin plans.

Did that paper thin plan include Taylor releasing ME! on Lesbian’s Visibility Day? Because that happened.

Soon we will see the reason why Taylor would be asking for forgiveness from Louis. But let’s see first what she was hoping for and didn’t get.

With your feet on the ground, tell me all that you'd learned.

Remember Cloud lyrics from 1D: Some days you’re gonna see the things that I see… Never coming back down.

And from Louis’s Walls in We Made It: Never coming down with your hand in mine.

Because the thing about We Made It, is Louis still had to throw in a line for his girlfriend Eleanor. Yes, Harry and Louis made it. But they’re still stuck in the closet, anyway.

'Cause love's never lost when perspective is earned

This is when I realize that Taylor has been tracing the stepping stones, starting from most recent events and making her way back to the start in a non-linear manner. Well, she certainly did called this album a post-mortem study. But exactly whose death are we mourning in this particular song right here?

And you said you'd come and get me, but you were twenty-five

And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired

Lost to the "Lost Boys" chapter of your life

Remember Harry’s “Not That Important”? Or all the Rainbow Bondage Bear and Sugar Baby Bear RBB/SBB shenanigans? Louis and Harry were throwing themselves at the closet door, banging against it and making such loud noises. They wanted so badly to show the world that they’re together while still in the band. That fantasy was one hell of a drug. Especially after Zayn left and they felt like they’ve got nothing left to lose. That was, until Belfast (where a Victorian-styles woodvale park is located, remember that not-an-Easter-Egg-I-promise! in Taylor’s hide-and-seek edition of folklore? Uh huh.) and babygate caged them into ironclad closet. But it wasn’t only just those events and One Direction going on hiatus that ensured Louis was completely and utterly lost.

Louis was trying so hard to make everyone sees that he’s not the father. He was so, so loud about it. So loud that it’s still causing troubles every time he brings up Freddie TODAY. Way too loud to ever be shut down, basically.

Louis was doing everything he could to leave the closet. But in December 2016, he lost his mom and turned twenty-five.

How could anyone expect a grieving boy to have another fight left in him?

Forgive me, Peter, please know that I tried to hold on (hold on) to the days (to the days) when you were mine.

Louis performed Just Hold On for the first time only days after his mom passing. In front of the person who made damn sure he couldn’t be himself under the spotlight. It’s a testament to his strength and I will never stop admiring his resilience. And although Taylor didn’t come through with their coming out plan, someone else made sure to have done the leg work.

Before her passing, Johannah, Louis’s mother, took the time to delete all of Freddie pictures off of her instagram, two weeks after she told Louis that she had terminal cancer.

(How do I know this? Well, it’s a hindsight is 20/20 thing. When Jay did that, fans had no clue she was sick and dying.

Years later, Louis talked about his mom breaking the bad news when he was at Jamie Vardy’s wedding.

And that wedding happened a fortnight before Jay removed all of Freddie pictures.)

Louis’s mom took out the rose thorns and made damn sure her baby boy could walk down their memory lane with the least pain possible. Louis had a great mom who taught him how to get through the darkest nights.

And though it’s not acknowledged so publicly, Louis has had Harry by his side all this time. I don’t think Louis ever needed an apology from Taylor just because they couldn’t complete their plan to come out/“Speak Now” in time for his mom to hear it, too.

Regardless, it’s possible that Taylor still felt really, really shitty for failing to execute their coming out plan as grief-stricken Louis ran out of time. By the time her scathing reputation prologue letter came around (as if inspiration for music is as simple and basic as a paternity test), it seemed Louis was in too deep with the conspiracy from One Direction days to ever be rid of it now. Quite literally lost to the lost boys chapter of his life

But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light.

And I’m not gonna lie, the sudden reappearance of present tense in descriptive lyrics here gave me a jolt of anxiety. Taylor already released Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) in which she repeated “So I tuck myself in and turn my nightlight on. Wish I’d never grow up.”

See, if we’re sticking with the original story of Peter Pan, Wendy grew up and Peter Pan didn’t. But in this version of the story, our Peter Pan aka Louis had been through such grief that pushed him to grow up first. He’s actually the one waiting now. Wendy aka Taylor had been playing catch up. (Fuck 🛴 for that.) Hence, this present tense about the woman who has turned out the light is the continuation of wait for the signal and I’ll meet you after dark.

By the way, how does the intro sequence of The Eras Tour go again?

It’s been a long time coming. It’s you and me. It’s Fearless. Big reputation. And they said Speak Now. Into folklore. My name is Taylor and I was born in 1989. Hey! evermore. Loving him was red. Meet me at midnight. Nice! Lover.

It’s you and me that’s my whole world. They whisper in the hallway she’s a bad, bad girl.

Taylor started her Eras Tour with Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince. The song I believe was written to Louis from Harry’s perspective. “You know I adore you. I’m crazier for you than I was at sixteen.” Corresponding nicely with the song 18 that one of her best friends, Ed Sheeran, wrote for One Direction. The one Louis used to sing as “I have loved him since we were eighteen.” And Harry immediately followed up by screaming “Sixteen!” at the crowd.

You said you were gonna grow up