#(haven’t decided if i’m committing to full doctorate yet)

[caligulalotus]

i would like to thank the phrase “femmes with fucked up genders” for helping me unlock my jenkins ingram lore

[hornyfor-redacted-onmain]

Longing

Pieces of My Heart - Chapter 10 Stray Kids OT8 x reader, Soulmate AU

Masterlist | Next Part

Chan Hey, just checking in. How’s your dad? Y/N He’s good, awake and lucid Doctors say everything went smoothly, he should make a full recovery Chan That’s good. Y/N How are the boys? Chan Missing you. Img.png Y/N Tell them I miss them too Chan I will. Give your dad our best wishes. Y/N Thanks

0o0o0

Sophie Hey, I just got your message Are you okay? Y/N Don’t worry, I’m fine. My dad’s okay too I didn’t get a chance to update you Had a lot on my mind Sophie No, yeah. I get it Y/N How was the day 2 concert? Sophie Just as amazing as day 1 Well, actually it was a bit weird I felt like the members weren’t as playful as the first time around. It seemed like they had a lot on their mind too … Maybe it was just one of those days Y/N Yeah, I guess Sophie Either way, it’s a shame we didn’t get to hang out more before you left I’m glad your dad’s okay Y/N Me too. If I’m ever back in the city, I’ll let you know Sophie Of course. In the meantime, want to see some videos from last night? Y/N Sure!

0o0o0

Y/N You sure you don’t want anything from the store? Mom I’m sure sweetie, thank you. Y/N Ok Mom Hey, while I have a chance to talk to you without your dad listening in. We need to talk about your soulmates. Y/N What about them? Mom Sweetheart, I remember when I met my soulmate. We were inseparable for weeks. I couldn’t even imagine how hard it is to be away from them right now. Y/N Mom … Mom I mean, even now, not being able to see her makes me uncomfortable. Why do you think we have our weekly Friday night meet ups? Y/N I thought that was just an excuse to go out and complain about Dan from finances Mom You and I both know I don’t need an excuse to complain about Dan. But that’s not the point. I can’t stand not being with Lucy. And we’re only platonic soulmates. From what I’ve heard, that’s definitely not the case with you. Y/N Mom! Mom You should be with your soulmates. Y/N Dad’s still in recovery, mom You can’t take care of him yourself, you have work and your health issues … You need help. They understand, we can make it work Besides, they’re on tour. I was going to have to be away from them for a while anyway It’s not like I could just go on tour with them Mom I’m sure that’s not true. Y/N Im almost back at the room. We can talk about this later

0o0o0

Soulmates

Y/N Hey Did you guys land yet? Seungmin Few minutes ago Felix Hi!!! How are you?! I’m good Felix, thank you ^^ Seungmin Img.png Img.png Img.png Felix YAH! Seungmin wtf!??! Seungmin Not my fault you all fell asleep on the plane Felix So you decided to photograph us?!!? Seungmin Blackmail material Minho I’m going to commit murder Y/N Awww, you guys look so cute I hope you guys get some rest … Guys? Wait he wasn’t serious about the murder was he? Hyunjin Hi baby I miss you Jisung I miss you too! Hyunjin I miss them more! Chan Guys, it’s not a competition Felix But if it is, I definitely miss them more >:) Y/N Guys, Minho wasn’t serious about killing Seungmin, was he? … Guys?

0o0o0

Jeongin Did you have breakfast yet? Y/N Shit, no I’ve been busy. I had to take my dad to his doctor’s appointment today and then I had to go do groceries Jeongin :( Y/N Sorry Innie. I’ll go get a snack rn Jeongin You haven’t been eating a lot lately … You know coffee doesn’t count as a meal, right? Y/N I know Sorry :( Jeongin You need to take care of yourself. I’m worried about you Y/N I will, I promise Jeongin I’ll remind you if you don’t. I swear, you’re worse than Channie-hyung Y/N D: I’m not that bad Jeogin … What did you just eat? It’s disgusting Please never eat that again Y/N You take that back Ham and Jelly toast is delicious and I refuse to accept this slander Plus its an easy snack Jeongin I will pay you to never eat that again Please Stop! DID YOU JUST ADD HOT SAUCE?!!!? Y/N Suffer

0o0o0

Mom I had a talk with my boss about work. He’s agreed to let me work from home for the next few months. Y/N Oh, that’s good. Now you can spend more time with dad during breaks and lunch … Mom It also means that I won’t need your help around the house anymore. Y/N Mom, we’ve talked about this. I’m not leaving you guys! Mom It’s been almost a month. Your soulmates are almost done with their tour You should go see them. Y/N I appreciate the effort mom, I really do. But can you just drop this? Mom No, I won’t. Why are you forcing yourself to be so unhappy? You think I don’t notice how stressed and upset you’ve been lately? You’re not eating well, you’re not getting a lot of sleep. Honey, I’m worried. Being away from your soulmates for so long so soon after meeting can’t be good for you. Or them! Y/N They have each other, they’ll be fine. Mom That’s not how this works, and you know it. Have you even talked to them about it? Y/N I don’t want to talk about it. Not right now. Mom You can’t run away from your problems forever.

0o0o0

Soulmates

Minho 커피 원해? (anyone want coffee?) Jisung ㅇㅇ (yup) Felix 내!!!! (yes!!!!) Chan 주세요. (please.) Seungmin 됐어요 (im good) Y/N I mean, if you’re offering It might be a bit cold by the time you get here though Minho Ahh, wrong chat Sorry Jisung Wait a minute! Since when do you read Korean?!! Y/N I don’t??!! I just used google translate Although I did recognize 내! That means yes :D Minho 귀엽다 (cute) Changbin Waa, our soulmate is so smart. Y/N :D Don’t drink too much coffee though. I’ve been told it is not a meal >:( Im talking to you, Chan Chan I have no idea what you’re talking about Y/N >:( Jeongin >:( Felix >:( Jisung >:( Chan It’s only my second cup today! And the first one was 3 hours ago! Y/N IT’S ONLY 9AM! Chan … Felix I’m going to kill you

0o0o0

Y/N Hey, can I ask for some advice? I need an unbiased opinion Sophie Well I’m not sure I’d consider myself unbiased. I’m definitely Han biased, that’s for sure. ;) Y/N It’s about my soulmate Sophie OH! I totally forgot about that, you haven’t talked about them at all! Y/N Yeah, between everything with my dad and then school and stuff … My mom has been on my ass these past few weeks about it Sophie About what? Y/N She thinks its unhealthy for me to be away from them She has this scary close bond with her soulmate, a childhood friend of hers. And she can’t imagine being away from her, so she thinks that I need to go be with my soulmate But I’ve been refusing, and now every time I see her it feels like she’s seconds away from starting another argument I’m just so tired of all the arguing, and wondering if maybe she’s right I have been having a harder time getting sleep Sophie Oh wow, that’s …. Wow. Y/N yeah Sophie I’m not sure you want my honest opinion right now. Y/N Please, I do. I need someone that isn’t my mom to be straight up with me. Am I being irrational? Sophie Well, first of all, being away from your soulmates is definitely not easy. But It’s also not a big deal, and long distance relationships work fine even between new soulmates. So maybe your mom is projecting a little bit. But I don’t think that’s the problem here. Y/N ??? Sophie Why does the idea of leaving to be with your soulmates bother you so much? I mean, when I found Alexis I was overjoyed, but I still didn’t have time to see him a lot. We both had school and work, and it was hard to find time to spend together. Honestly, I would have taken any opportunity I had to be with him. And yet here you are, turning down all of your mom’s offers. I feel like something else is at play here than just your mom’s pushiness. Y/N … Sophie I told you you wouldn’t like my opinion. Y/N No, you’re right Fuck, you’re right Sophie I usually am :) Y/N Thank’s Sophie, I really needed someone to knock some sense into me. Sophie Glad I could help. Want some memes? Y/N Yes, please!

0o0o0

Y/N Mom. I’m sorry You were right, I want to be with my soulmates. I really appreciate everything you’ve done to give me the opportunity to be with them. And I’m sorry I’ve been so stubborn about it. But Mom, I feel like you’re pushing me away. I feel like you don’t want me here. My soulmates will never be more important than you. You’re my mom, and I worry about you and dad. I worry about you guys being by yourselves, about being away from you. I’m scared and I just feel like everything is moving too fast. Can you call me when you get off work? I love you.

0o0o0

Y/N We need to talk Chan That doesn’t sound good Y/N It’s nothing bad, I promise Chan Okay? Y/N My dad has been getting better. He’s walking now. Chan That’s great! I’m glad your dad’s okay. Y/N Yeah Chan I have a feeling that’s not what you wanted to talk about, though. Y/N They managed to talk with a neighbor, and he agreed to drive my dad to his appointments if my mom can’t take him. And I started taking online classes. Chan Huh? Y/N Chris I think we need to talk about what happens when you guys are done with your tour.

[ashthehermit]

Legends of Tomorrow: A Retrospective 1.9

I do remember this episode pretty well.  The series has felt like it was treading water, and is growing in confidence with itself.  It's far from being good, let's not lie, but it's getting better.  There was a reason I kept watching this nonsense show when it first came out.  There's enough in it to keep going.  Sure, it's like the first season of Parks and Rec.  It's probably not worth it, but you can see it grow all the time.

LEFT BEHIND

We pick up where we left off.  Kronos pilots the Waverider, abandoning half the team.  Rip makes a plan to distract Kronos and allow the others to go to the jump ship.  Silently, Snart decides to stay with Rip.  A sound moment of heroism!  This character has more development than the others combined, honestly.  They don't even need to dwell on it.  Snart might disagree with Rip at any opportunity, but he's still backing him.

And now - a twist!  Kronos takes Snart and leaves on the jumpship.  That's not what we thought he was after. I'm sure that means something.  But anyway, the ship is crashing.

'If you have a time machine, you're never late.'

Sara, Ray and Kendra come to the unhappy conclusion that they have been abandoned.  They need to hide from Savage, so they get into car theft.  This episode skips forward in time more than anything else we've seen so far.  It's a nice change of pace.  Getting left behind is hardly the newest of time travel ideas.  The Umbrella Academy made full use of it.  Through furniture montage, we see the trio settle into 1958, and only Ray is active in getting back.  He makes a device that looks like the sort of thing the Tenth Doctor used to make to track stuff.  I'm surprised it can't also fry an egg.  Sara decides to leave for no apparent reason.  She's annoyed at Ray, sure, but that's part and parcel of knowing him.

Bill Gates' father is in Ray's class (after a two year jump).  There aren't many references to famous figures in Legends yet.  Is this the first one?  I haven't been paying enough attention.  We'll be meeting Einstein soon.  Ray decides to destroy his time beacon to commit to a life with Kendra.  We have gone from zero to one hundred with this couple.  They move far too quickly for the audience to really connect with their relationship.  That's also because we have spanned two years in two minutes.  Ray goes from desperate to go home to keen to stay in 1960 in that time.  And we didn't even view this from the Waverider's perspective.

'Sorry we're late.'

Sara went back to the league of assassins.  I viewed this as incoherent from my angle, as they won't know who she is for at least another forty years.  Also I don't know much about the league of assassins.  It's another Arrow thing that I don't want to get into.  From what I can see on the surface, it doesn't interest me.

But wait!  It's twist time!  Kronos is Mick Rory.  Who would have thought?  It's not a very foreshadowed twist.  Kronos has not looked at Rory and decided not to kill him.  He hasn't tried to kidnap Snart before now.  Snart abandons Rory in the woods, and there's no sign that the Time Masters were nearby, or looking for Rory.  Rory spends a decent amount of time being trained by the Time Masters, but it'll be largely brushed over in future episodes.  It is one of those storylines that later on, the show decides it doesn't really want to remember.

'It's basically a life extending jacuzzi'.

We are deep in Arrow things.  Rip stops to tell the team not to use their powers or future tech, which means that they will use both of those things.  I still can't figure out why Sara came back here.  Perhaps it's still because I have never watched Arrow.  I refuse to.  The show should be able to get its most important character beats in, without relying on another, very long show.  I have that problem with Marvel too these days.  I recently watched the Multiverse of Madness just to understand the new canon.  I did not care for it!  I knew I wouldn't, and still I had to watch it.  I should have had more self-control, you might say, but I like Wanda Maximoff, and I stand by that.  

This episode hinges on something Rip calls 'time drift'.  He says that when one spends too long in another timeline, one loses touch with one's former identity.  Sara has apparently regressed because of some sci-fi gobbledegook.  Legends will abandon this in the future again.  Zari and Behrad apparently never experience time drift, nor does Amaya.  Kendra apparently lost her powers while living in the fifties with Ray.  They have a very deep emotional discussion in front of everyone.  

'I think we all wish you would have had this moment in private.'

Why do all these people have bows and arrows indoors?  Do they not know that they are a ranged weapon?  Rip pulls a Tyrion and demands a trial by combat.  It's a set up for Kendra and Sara to fight.  I'm more invested in the adventures of Mr Snart, trying to pull himself along a railing.  I know where it's heading, and it's another of those moments that made me think that the tone was perhaps too brutal than what it needed to be.

Snart uses his foot to operate his gun and freeze off his own hand.  Then he smashes it.  For all that I said it was tonally odd, it has more tension than the Kendra/Sara sword fight.  It's intense, emotional, and desperate.  Sara gets pulled back from the edge just by hearing the words 'white canary'.  The whole action sequence is pretty boring.  All of these sequences tend to blend together.  Give me Snart smashing his hand any day.

'Yes, it's quite remarkable Mr Rory is working for the Time Masters, considering you killed him.'

Snart reveals that he only let the gang believe he killed Rory, and that was all to easy to do.  They come up with the idea to reform him.  Only Kendra is particularly upset that he was Kronos, and killed her son.  Her voice is pretty lost in the whole thing.  We are distracted by the revelation that Gideon can regrow entire limbs.  Snart's escapade has no apparent repercussions.

'You'll see that miracles abound in this old timeship.'

Ray's bedroom has a screen where you can see the beach.  I've no idea why this is the case.  He has a single bunk, which is pretty awkward considering the scene you see it in sees Kendra reconfirm her love for him.  Where's she gonna sleep?  

Rip reveals that he's always known where Savage is, he's just been unwilling to go there.  This does feel like it makes all of the previous efforts useless.  He's always known?  Now the next episode has to prove that the period is as awful as he claims.  Otherwise, this was a bit of lazy writing, as far as I can tell.

[babyjakes]

forever and a day | 40. i believe you.

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summary | a story in which america’s favorite captain gives a new life and family to a five-year-old girl who has suffered well beyond her years at the hands of hydra.

characters | dad!steve rogers, girl/willa rogers (original character)

warnings | AU similar enough to OU to include spoilers to many Marvel movies (Age of Ultron and beyond). action and fight scenes with violence and killing. injuries/mild gore. mature themes related to and semi-graphic depictions of child abuse/neglect, past CSA and CSM, and their aftermath (emaciation, wounds, scarring, etc). medical abuse and experimentation. ptsd/trauma symptoms in a child (developmental discrepancies, de-humanized behavior, detachment, extreme fears). medical treatment of CSM and other aftermath of abuse.trauma-informed therapeutic treatment of ECT. minor mentions of disordered eating. themes relating to abuse of power/authority and immoral interrogation tactics including SA (with brief depictions.) evil!Tony Stark.

[Steve]

“Alright Cap, as much as I’d love to stay up longer and keep talking… I’m pretty beat,” Bruce admits from across the table. Glancing down at my watch, I see that it’s nearing 11:30pm. Willa was put to bed a while ago; after she went down I decided to venture back out into the rest of the group. The overall mood throughout the evening has been positive. More than anything, it just feels good to be back with all of my friends. Tony and I haven’t shared a single word, but for now, I’m okay with that. Being the first night back, he probably figured both Bucky and I would want some space. I still don’t know how I’m going to approach him about what happened to Willa at the airport. Something needs to be done, of course; I’m just not sure what yet.

For about a half-hour or so now, it’s just been the doctor and I, as everyone else has retired to bed. Our conversation has mostly been about Willa. Bruce was able to pop in before I put her to bed to check over her. In talking with him, he’s gone over some options we have in regards to treating her burns. He said that she got very lucky, and that he was fairly sure she had a good chance at a full recovery. This news has been a huge relief. Really, the whole conversation has meant a lot to me. It’s clear that he’s been worried about Willa ever since we left, and now that we’re back, I’m glad that I can place so much trust in the man in charge of her medical care.

“Yeah, it’s getting pretty late, huh?” I nod understandingly. Bruce rises from his chair and smiles at me, his eyes softening as they meet mine.

“We’re glad to have you back, Cap. You and the little one were greatly missed,” he speaks genuinely.

“Thank you, Bruce. It’s great to be back,” I say, returning the smile. He nods at me, then turns and heads for the hallway, leaving me alone in the large open living space.

Taking a moment to close my eyes, I draw in a long breath through my nose, allowing my muscles to relax. It’s been quite a long day. I can’t wait to climb into my own bed and get some much-needed sleep. But before I can do that, there’s still one more thing I need to take care of…

Opening my eyes again, I stand, pushing my chair under the table. I make my way over to the kitchen and pull out a pot, filling it with water in the sink. Setting it down on the stove, I turn the burner on medium, watching as tiny bubbles begin to form at the bottom of the metal pot. Going into the spices cabinet, I rummage around until I find the small green tin I’m looking for, all the way at the back. Carefully, I open up the old rusted box and pull out a packet. Lavender. I remember on Wanda’s first night at the tower, she asked for a cup of lavender tea. “It helps when I’m anxious,” she had told us. Ever since, I’ve made sure to keep a fresh stock on hand.

Pulling out a second packet for myself, I close and return the tin to the cabinet. When I come back to the pot, the water’s boiling steadily, and I flick off the burner, grabbing two maroon mugs and pouring them each full with the water. Tearing open the paper envelopes, I drop a pouch in each mug, the strings dangling over the sides delicately. With a mug in each hand, I return to the table, setting one down at the head seat and one at the chair beside it. Taking a moment, I sigh, running a hand through my hair. I just hope she’ll open up to me. When she snapped out of her panicked state earlier, she was trying so hard to act like she was fine. But it’s painfully obvious that she’s not. And I don’t know how to help her if I don’t know what’s wrong.

Taking another deep breath, I make my way over to the hallway, walking quietly across the wooden floor until I reach the teen’s door. A faint glow shines out from underneath it, telling me that her lamp is still on. Knocking lightly against the wood a few times, I call in softly, “Wanda? It’s Steve. You still up?”

Soft shuffling can be heard from behind the door; soon, it opens in front of me to reveal the teen. From the looks of it, she’s changed since I saw her earlier. She’s pulled her hair up into a messy bun and wrapped herself up in a white blanket. With the hallway lights now hitting her face, I can really see how sick she’s truly become. She’s much skinnier than she was the last time I saw her, and the bags under her eyes are deep and dark. the girl glances up at me, and I try to keep my heartbreak from seeping onto my face.

“Hey kiddo,” I breathe, momentarily at a loss for words. Up until today, I’ve always seen Wanda as just one of us adults. Of course I’ve known that she’s a teenager, but she’s just always held herself to such a high standard of presentation that it’s been hard to tell her apart from the others. Peter’s obviously the baby of the team, and I honestly would usually forget that he and Wanda were similar in age. But now, looking at the broken girl in front of me, it’s really sinking in how young she is, and maybe how wrong it’s been of me to treat her like something she’s not. “I made us some tea,” I say finally. “Will you come sit with me?” A look of great hesitancy flashes in her eyes. “I just wanna talk.”

“Nothing to talk about,” she mumbles quietly.

I raise my eyebrows gently at her, trying to hold onto her gaze. I know that’s not true, I want to say, but I don’t want to push her into anything, especially not right here in the hallway. “It’s lavender tea. Please? I’ve missed you,” I try. Wanda sighs, her eyes dropping to the floor.

“Fine,” she gives in. Smiling at her gratefully, I lead the way back through the hallway and out into the common space.

The girl follows slowly behind me, her feet dragging painfully beneath her. A warm, rich lavender scent hits us as we enter the room, and she looks up for a moment, a softness forming on her face. Walking her over to the table, I pull out the chair at the head for her. Carefully and slowly, she lowers herself down. I take a seat next to her, wrapping a hand around my mug.

The teen peers down at her own and brings her shaking hands up to clasp it on both sides. The mug rattles slightly against the table from her quivering, and I’m concerned to find that tears have built up in her eyes. “Wanda,” I begin sadly. “Hey-”

“Sorry,” she mumbles, bringing a shaking hand up and wiping at her eyes harshly. “Thank you, Steve. You- you didn’t have to do this.”

“Don’t be sorry,” I murmur softly, “and of course; I just hope it helps, even a little.” Wanda raises the mug to her lips and takes a swallow, her tears spilling over and running down her cheeks as she blinks. Setting her mug down, she dabs at her face with the blanket. Her eyes stay low, unable to face me. “Wanda,” I say again, wrapped up in so much sadness and worry for the poor girl. “Can you look at me?”

“I’m sorry,” she replies again, shaking her head. “I’m just- I’ll stop. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay,” I reassure her quickly, “it’s okay to cry. I won’t judge you for that.”

“I’m fine, I-I promise. I-” She chokes on her words, hiccuping as another round of tears hit. “-I-I’m fine, Steve.”

“Wanda,” I breathe, wishing so badly I knew what was troubling the kid. “Please. Tell me what’s going on.” Her head hangs low, her gaze locked on the table beneath her as she continues to cry, not even attempting to wipe away the evidence anymore. Her tears drip down onto the surface, forming a puddle next to her mug. “I promise, no matter what it is, it’s safe to tell me. I just wanna help you, kiddo.”

“D-don’t call me that,” she snaps coldly, the edge to her voice taking me aback. “Please,” she continues after a moment of silence, softer this time, “just don’t. I-I’m not a kid. Not yours, or anyone else’s,” she says coldly, her voice laced with a thick venom of hurt. “I’m not a child. I need to stop acting like one.”

“No. Wanda, stop,” I beg, hating how hard she is on herself. “You’re still a kid, to me and to everyone else. I know we don’t act like it, and we should. I’m sorry, Wanda. We put way too much pressure on you. You have an old soul, and wisdom well beyond your years. But in the end, you’re still a kid. And we don’t take care of you like we should.”

“I don’t need taking care of,” the girl shakes her head. “I’m not Willa, or Peter, or- or…”

“But you’re you, Wanda,” I tell her softly, and her eyes finally find their way up to meet with mine. “And you deserve to be cared for too, just like Willa and Peter.” A fresh round of tears build up in her eyes as she keeps her gaze locked on mine, a sense of overwhelming longing appearing on her face. Her bottom lip begins to tremble and I lean in closer to her, asking her gently, “Please, Wanda. Will you let me take care of you?”

She blinks, a stray tear trailing down her cheek and off her chin. What she says next sets off a familiar alarm in my mind, her words dripping with vulnerability. “Y-you won’t believe me.”

“I know you think that, and I don’t know how I could convince you otherwise, but I promise you, Wanda, I promise you: I will believe you. I know you wouldn’t lie to me. I know you’re scared; you’re terrified, and that’s okay. I’m right here for you, I just need you to let me in.”

The teen takes in a shaky breath, closing her eyes for a few seconds as if to collect herself. When she opens them again, she looks back over at me, fear lingering in her gaze. “I-I didn’t want it,” she stammers. “I promise, I-I didn’t.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, not understanding.

“I tried to stop them- I tried, but they h-had my hands wrapped up and- and th-they were stronger than me, and I-I-”

“Woah, okay. Slow down. Deep breaths,” I murmur, not wanting the girl to work herself up into a panic attack. “Who was this? Was it when you were back in captivity?” Wanda nods, her fragile frame shaking against her chair. “Do you know who it was?”

“Th-they came every day to question us… there were three of them. Th-they didn’t give their names.”

“Okay, and you said they had your hands wrapped up? So you couldn’t use your powers?” She nods again in confirmation. “Okay. And they brought you to an interrogation room?” Another nod. “What did they do to you in there?”

Her head falls and she chokes back a sob, her hands squeezing into fists as they rest against the table. “I swear, Steve, I didn’t want it, I-I tried to make them stop, b-begged them to stop,” she stutters. “I screamed ‘no’ over and over… th-they just taped my mouth shut when they got sick of it… or th-they, th-they shoved their…”

My heart drops into the pit of my stomach as my worst fears are confirmed. “Oh my god. Wanda,” I breathe, shaking my head in shock.

“Please,” she whimpers, her eyes still squeezed shut as tears pour down her face. “I-I’ll show you the bruises, I-I’ll let you see the memories, please, Steve, please believe me.” And as I continue to watch my friend sob quietly in her seat, an overwhelming urge washes over me to just hold her, to somehow show her that the information she’s shared is safe with me.

Rising slowly from my seat, I approach the crying girl, reaching out my arms and wrapping them gently around her. At the contact, she only sobs harder, leaning her face against my shoulder. With little difficulty, I lift her up and carry her over to the couch, sitting down and placing her on top of my lap. Even though she’s always been a small girl, the lack of weight I feel on top of me is highly concerning.

I take a soothing hand and begin running it over her hair, talking softly to her as she cries. “I believe you, Wanda. I believe you,” I promise her.

“I-I’m s-s-sorry,” she sobs into my shoulder, and I shush her gently, shaking my head.

“No, no sorry’s,” I coo. “You were so brave to tell me. I’m so proud of you, kiddo.” The girl only clings to me and continues to cry, and I keep my hand running over her hair, rocking her slightly back and forth, hoping the movements won’t be too obvious but still enough to somewhat soothe her.

“D-do you hate me now?” she asks through her tears, her head pulling back to look me in the eyes. My heart breaks all over when I see they’re filled with fear.

“No, of course not. I could never hate you, Wanda. What those men- those monsters- did to you says nothing about you as a person. You’re still good. You’re still so incredibly good, all the way down to your bones.” A slight hint of relief appears on her face, but she remains mostly wary. Brushing back her stray bangs out of her face, I lock eyes with hers. “Look at me, Wanda.” She does, her eyes filling with tears once more. “You are good. Still as good as you’ve ever been. They didn’t take that from you.”

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[aliendes]

Eventually (NSFW) 18+

From this ask: Jungkook + impregnation kink <3

A/N: I did a bit of reading for this one lol. This is not something I have written before, so hopefully it’s okay. This turned into more of a oneshot than a drabble lol

Warnings: impreg kink, unprotected sex (stob it), lots of cum cos it me, oral (f receiving), fingering, sweetness. It’s sweet, so sweet. Tooth rotting, even. oh & it’s unedited bcuz of course it is byeeeeee! 

Word count: 3.1k~

About a month ago, you overheard your sweet and usually shy boyfriend talking about his kinks with his best friend, Taehyung. Typically, Jungkook is very reserved, a bit of an introvert, and definitely not one to overshare. However, you came home from class early one night to overhear Jungkook talking through Discord with Tae, and you really didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but when you heard you bunny boy talking about getting you pregnant, you blanched.

After listening in to their conversation for a few minutes, you realized they were actually talking about kinks and he didn’t actually want to get you pregnant, at least, not yet. You two have been dating for about three years now, and you’re both entirely committed to one another, but you’re also both only sophomores in college, so starting a family isn’t on your list of things to do quite yet. 

But, you were intrigued by the idea that his kink involved finishing inside of you with the thought that he’d get you pregnant. After hearing their conversation, you started to read about it a bit online, trying to figure out if it’s something you’d be into, and you decided to give it a try.

Three weeks ago, you went to the doctor and started birth control, a week ago you were officially safe to start having unprotected sex, and tonight, is your date night with Jungkook. You haven’t told him about the birth control yet, and you wanted to keep it a surprise until you could get him in the bedroom.

The two of you went to a cute cafe for dinner, a place you’ve been wanting to try for a while now. It was a really nice night, and you were excited to get home and show Jungkook just how much you appreciate him. You just hope he won't be too upset with your eavesdropping and you can make it up to him with your surprise. 

You had just finished cleaning your makeup off your face and getting ready for bed. You decided to forgo any pajamas, in hopes that Jungkook would get your message. It was Saturday night, neither of you had work or classes tomorrow, and it didn’t take much to rile him up, especially since you’ve both been so busy recently you haven’t had much time to spend together. 

When you walk into your shared bedroom, wearing only your panties and a bra, Jungkook is relaxing on the bed, one arm folded under his head as he lays back on the pillows, scrolling through his phone. It looks like he’s already gotten ready for bed, as he’s only wearing his boxers. You clear your throat slightly and bite your lips as Jungkook looks over at you. 

At the sight of you wearing next to nothing, he gapes slightly, as his phone slips from his grip, smacking him in the face. You bring your hand up to your face to stifle a giggle as he rubs at the spot on his cheek, groaning. 

“Don’t laugh,” he grunts, one eye closed as he puts his phone on the nightstand, “what’s the occasion, babe?” He looks at you, reaching his arms out with grabby hands as you walk over to him, crawling over his body and straddling his waist. You feel the rumble in his chest from his contented hum as you make yourself comfortable on top of him. His hands slide down your sides, resting just above your butt, rubbing soft circles into the skin as he takes a deep breath, a happy smile on his face when he looks at you. 

“I miss you,” you whisper, placing a lingering kiss on his bare chest, making him look down at your funny, an overexaggerated frown on his face. 

“Honey, I’m right here,” you can tell he’s being playful, yet cautious, unsure of where you’re taking the conversation, “is everything okay?”

“Mm, yes,” you whisper, bringing your head up and placing a sweet kiss against his lips, “just wanna feel close to you.”

Jungkook smiles at you, kissing your lips again. “Okay,” he whispers softly, “let’s cuddle.”

You smirk at him, giving a small shake of your head, making him look at you in confusion. “Want more,” you say lowly, “want to feel you, Kook.”

“Mm, yeah, baby?” You could feel his member starting to harden beneath you. Gently, you push your hips into his, making him groan. “What’s gotten into you?” He chuckles at your antics. You aren’t usually so forward with him, usually letting him initiate sex, but ever since you heard his conversation with Tae, you couldn’t stop thinking about this.

You weren’t sure how to broach the subject. Should you just bring up that you overheard them? Should you tell him while you’re in the middle of the act? You decide on the former, grinding into one more time before sitting up slightly, propping yourself up on his bare chest. You bit your lip shyly, looking down at him with a bashful expression. He cocks his head to the side, furrowing his brow slightly, but a smile still on his face. 

“So, I heard you talking with Tae,” his face immediately drops, so you rush out, “not like that! It’s a good thing, promise!” He raises a brow in concern urging you to continue, his lips in a slight pout. “I came home early one night and heard you talking about…” you trail off, looking at the headboard rather than his face, “kinks?” Your voice is small and reserved. 

When you finally gain enough courage to look him in the eye, his face is drained of color, eyes wide in shock. You instantly regret your decision, bringing a hand up to push the hair out of his face, your features soften. “Baby, I wanna try it. I started the pill.”

You don’t think you’ve ever seen Jungkook look so much like the animal people compare his eyes too than right now. His eyes are so wide, mouth slightly agape as he starts at you. He has that look on his face that he gets when he’s thinking really hard about something, and for a second, you think he might laugh at you, tell you it was all a joke, that he didn’t really mean it.

But then, all of the sudden, you’re flipped onto your back faster than you can blink, and Jungkook is on top of you, caging you in with his strong arms. The look in his eyes when you finally look up at him is something you’ve never seen from your sweet boyfriend. His pupils are blown wide, he looks almost… animalistic as he grinds his hips into you one time, letting you know how hard he is.

You gulp, staring up at him as he speaks slow and quiet. “You better not be fucking with me,” you shake your head back and forth quickly, letting him know you are in fact, serious. “Why were you eavesdropping, little one?”

Your eyes widen in shock at the way he’s talking. It’s not like he’s not dominant in bed, because he definitely can be, but this is a whole different side of him you aren’t used to. “I-I’m sorry, Kook. I really didn’t mean t-to,” you whisper the last part, “I just overheard part of it, and it w-worried me, so I listened to what you guys were talking about. After I heard it was a kink, I looked into it…” you trail off not sure what else to say to him. 

“And what did you find out?” His voice is low, nearly a growl, arousal pooling in your panties at his tone. 

“I- I wanna… try it,” your voice is tiny, barely a whisper. 

Jungkook smirks above you, a glint in his eye. He’s so turned on right now by you, one wrong move of his hips and he could definitely cum in his boxers. This is his biggest fantasy, coming to life without him having to have even said anything.

“Yeah? You want me to fill you up? Fuck you full of my cum?”

Holy shit.

You knew you were interested in this, but the gush of wetness between your legs was telling just how much it was turning you on. “Y-yes, please, Kookie.” You don’t break eye contact, biting your lip as you thrust your hips upwards to get some sort of relief.

Jungkook leans down, pressing his lips against yours for a moment before pulling away. Looking at you with love in his eyes, his next words are barely a whisper, “You’re really okay with this? You’re on the pill?” 

You nod, “Yes, Kook. More than okay with it.” You smile up at him as he places another kiss to your lips. When he pulls back, he rolls his hips into you again, making you whimper softly. 

He closes his eyes and throws his head back, sucking in a deep breath through his nose. “God, you’re amazing. I’m gonna fill you up so good,” he moans as he reaches down, feeling the wet spot on your ruined panties, “holy shit. Does this turn you on that much, baby?” You nod at his words, eyes slipping closed as he pushes the crotch of your panties to the side, finger running up and down your slit, collecting your juices and teasing your clit. “Fuck, you’re so wet, let me taste you?”

Again, you nod aggressively, making him chuckle. On his way down the bed, he shucks his own boxers and pulls your panties down your legs, his breath hitching in his throat at the sight of your pink pussy, already swollen with arousal. Without warning, he dives in, eating you out like a man starved. 

You gasp as he immediately pushes his tongue into your entrance, swishing it back and forth, tasting all you have to offer him. Back arching off the bed, you reach down and run your fingers through his long, curly hair. You aren’t sure if it’s just the way he always treats you, or if it’s the dirty talk he’s been spewing, but your senses feel heightened, and every little touch is making you tremble. He seems to notice this, gripping your thigh with one hand, the other coming up to tease at your entrance while his tongue works your bud.

“Gonna stretch you out, you’re gonna take my cum so well, baby,” he groans into your pussy, inserting two fingers right off the bat, making you moan at the stretch. It’s been about a week since the two of you fooled around, so it was a little more of a stretch than you were expecting, but it felt amazing with how wet and ready you were. He attaches his lips to your clit, sucking harshly, and lets out a moan when you clench down on his fingers. 

“Kookie,” you pant, trying to catch your breath from the pleasure he was giving you, “Kook.”

He pulls his mouth off you for a moment, face covered in your slick as he looks up at you. 

“Wanna cum on your cock, p-please,” the sight of him, your juices all over his chin and mouth, has you moaning again, “need your cum.”

“Fuck,” he sits up immediately, but leaves his fingers in your pussy, scissoring them as his other hand reaches for his cock, languidly stroking it as he watches you, squirming for him. “Say it again,” he demands, pulling his fingers from you when he thinks you’re sufficiently stretched. 

You make your voice as whiny as you can, knowing that’s what he wants, “Please Kook, need your cum. Fill me up, give me a baby.”

His cheeks are on the verge of pink, and you can’t tell if it’s from exertion or embarrassment, but it doesn’t deter him. Leaning over you, he pushes his tip against your slit, gathering your juices. He moans out, squeezing his eyes shut at the feeling. In the three years you’ve been together, you’ve never had sex without a condom. Well, except that one time you were both drunk and he accidentally slipped it in before realizing.

“Holy shit,” he whispers, pushing into your gently. Both of you are moaning messes, relishing in the way his smooth cock is rubbing against your velvet walls, the feeling nothing like what it usually feels like with a rubber barrier. “I don’t know how long I’m gonna last,” he whimpers, fully sheathing himself inside you, “this feels incredible.”

You hum in agreement, but it comes out more like a moan. “Feel s’good, Kook,” you let your eyes slip closed as he slowly pulls out of you until just the tip is still inside, “please fuck me!”

He groans, just the sight of your blissed out face is almost too much for him. Steeling himself, he pushes back into you, and then again, and again, until he finds his rhythm. The feeling of your warm pussy squeezing around him feels so good against his cock, he can’t even begin to explain it to you. 

His thrusts start to get sloppier after a few minutes, as he leans down, pulling the cups of your lace bra down beneath your tits so he can capture one of your nipples in his warm mouth. You scream out at the feeling, one hand fisting in the sheets, the other coming up to tug lightly at his hair. His pace slightly falters, thrusting even harder into you, chasing his high. 

“Cum for me, baby,” he moans, popping off your nipple before diving back into the other one. He sucks and nibbles at it for a moment before pulling away again. “Want to feel you cum around me bare,” he moans when you clench down, “let go, babe. I got you.”

You arch your back off the bed as his hand slips between your bodies, two fingers expertly finding your swollen clit and drawing small circles on it. “You’re so swollen, baby,” he groans, leaning down and sucking at your collarbone, “your pussy is so pretty, so ready for my baby.”

You let out a wanton moan at his words. You had no idea this would turn you on so much, but you can’t get enough of it. “Kook, please!” You scream out, not sure what you’re begging for, but he seems to know, as he puts a little more pressure on your bud, making your legs twitch, your orgasm building quick. 

“You like that, babe? Want me to fuck you full of my cum? Fill up that pretty little pussy until it’s leaking out, yeah?” He groans, losing himself at his own words, “You’d look so pretty carrying my baby, YN.”

That’s what does it. The dam breaks, your coil unravelling as your whole body tenses. You clench down on him harder than he thinks you ever have before, walls fluttering around him as he stills for a second, fingers still rolling your clit between them to help you ride out your high. 

It’s like electricity is flowing through your veins, and he feels it too, a fire burning in his belly. “Fuck,” he draws out the word, pulling back out only to thrust in, harder this time, “gonna cum, fuck gonna cum.” 

You barely realize what’s happening, still dizzy from your own orgasm, as Jungkook stills inside you, pushing his cock as far into your pussy as he can. You curse at the feeling, hands coming up to grip and his biceps. The moans and grunts coming out of your boyfriend are like nothing you’ve ever heard before. You can feel the way his cock is twitching inside you, shooting rope after rope of warm cum into you. The feeling is amazing, a warmth spreading through your middle up to your belly. 

You reach up with one of your hands, pushing his sweat-dampened hair out of his face, dragging it down his perfectly sculpted cheek, watching the way his face twists in pleasure. You smile at him when he finally looks at you, a panting, sweaty mess. 

Both of your chests are heaving as he sits up slightly, letting your hand fall back down to the bed, and he looks down at your abused pussy. The sight is enough to make his cock twitch inside you again, making you whimper lightly. 

“Oh fuck,” he moans, pulling his cock back slightly to see it covered in both your releases, “shit, that was hot.” He pulls out farther, bringing his hand up to cup your heat as his softening dick falls out, gathering up his cum and pushing it back into you. He swirls his fingers around a bit, playing with the cum and watching like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. You watch, mouth slightly agape as he pulls his fingers from you and holds them up in front of him, inspecting them. The sight is weirdly hot, and before you can stop it, you let out a loud moan.

He lifts an eyebrow at you, a smirk on his face. “You like this, baby?” He chuckles, bringing his fingers down to your face, to which you obediently open your mouth. He slips his digits into your mouth as you wrap your tongue around them, sucking his and your cum off them. “You’re gonna be the death of me,” he groans when you pop off his fingers, licking your lips seductively. 

You smile up at him innocently and he swears he’s about to get hard again with how sweet and pretty you look right now, tits hanging out of your bra, hair a mess, pussy leaking cum. “Thank you,” you say sweetly. Fuck, and you’re thanking him for his cum? He thinks he might pass out.

Grinning his big bunny grin, he leans down, kissing you passionately, before he pulls away and looks into your eyes. His dark brown orbs conveying all his love to you. “Do you think it’ll actually happen eventually?”

You furrow your brow, confused by his words for a moment, before you realize what he means. “Yeah, Kook. I do.” You smile again, kissing the tip of his nose.

“I can’t wait to really give you a baby, YN,” he whispers, resting his head in the crook of your neck, leaving quick kisses on the skin there, “not now, of course, but eventually. Can’t wait to have a family with you.”

You nod, wrapping your arm around his head, pulling him closer, “I can’t either Kookie, I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

[perriewinklenerdie]

Follow my steps (Ethan Ramsey x MC)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x Claire Herondale

Word count: 3,8 k

Summary: OH3 Chapter 12/13 added content. Claire gets fed up with the way Ethan’s been treating her lately. She gives him one last chance to make things right, at Boston Opera House - for old time’s sake.

Warnings: It’s angst time.

A/N: I don’t even know what’s going on lately. I wanted angst and here it is. My girl C really is running thin on her patience for her man’s bullshit (and so am I).

Are you okay? was the first message he received from her that day. He left shortly after he revealed his departure from the team, so her concern really should be no surprise. Still, he sighed deeply, silenced his phone and turned it screen side down, then went back to cooking, unsure what his answer would be.

Minutes dragged by, yet somehow turned into hours and before he knew it, the sun was racing towards the horizon. Almost completely consumed by it. He reached for his phone, planning on heading to his living room and rest his mind after he spent what felt like ages of grueling research into his options. His face twisted into a frown at the sight of his screen. Immediately after, blood drained from his face.

Ethan, please let me know you’re in one piece.

A simple ‘I’m fine’ would be enough. Seriously, I’m getting worried.

He battled with his brain, still uncertain what to tell her. She had enough on her plate with the team and the Boards, she didn’t need his problems to be added onto the already enormous pile. He replied with the only thing he could think of in that moment, resenting himself for letting her worry about him for so long.

I’m okay.

By the time he sat down on the couch and some ridiculous show was playing in the background – Claire was the one that introduced him to it, and he would never admit it, but he enjoyed their debates about it – a new message was waiting for him.

Oh, thank god.

Followed shortly after by a longer one, contents of which made him feel a pit opening in his stomach.

So, want to share with class why you went radio silent for the whole day, instead of, I don’t know, letting your girlfriend know that you’re not dead so she could worry a bit less?

He had no answer to that. How was he supposed to tell her that he was terrified of what was to come and that it could possibly be fatal for him? How was he supposed to say that he didn’t want her to be even associated with the case, because he cared about her too much to risk her getting affected by it too?

In the end, he didn’t reply. And she didn’t say anything else. An impasse, of his own doing, that he had no idea how to end. He knew he had to do something – she was a very patient woman, much more patient than him, but even she had her limits. And this? This wasn’t the first time he’s pushed her away in a similar manner.

Although he was aware of that, he still refused to call her. It was getting late, she was probably studying or getting ready for bed. She needed her rest, the next week was incredibly important for her future as a doctor.

That’s what he told himself for the next two days. Every time he felt a tingle in his hand to contact her, he reminded himself of her commitments and pushed the thought down. Despite that, every single time his phone made even the smallest sound, he threw himself towards it, hoping that it was her.

It wasn’t. Two days of no contact between them.

Realizing how long it’s been made him think of their conversation a few months back. They were sitting in the exact same place he currently occupied, close to each other. His hand holding hers with certainty.

They promised each other no more secrets. No more pushing each other away. And honest conversation. All of which were his ideas. He whispered all of them with deep sense of urgency, in a fever-like state that surprised her. She nodded her head eagerly, muttering words of affirmation, then let him pull her onto him, their lips meeting again and again in a soft reassurance.

He’s broken the rules he wanted them so much to have. And not even once. No wonder she didn’t try to get in touch with him – he’s given her every indication that he didn’t want to talk about it, and she pushed only until a certain point was reached.

“I can take a hint, you know.” She once joked, poking his ribs when they walked out of the patient’s room, their initial consult being far from ideal. He smiled sadly at the memory, his chest aching from her absence.

As though he called her with his thoughts, his phone announced an incoming message. He planned what he would say, what he would do once he saw her – and what he would not do in the future. He hated when they didn’t talk to each other, and he hated the thought of losing her even more.

Instead of her words, like he expected, the screen greeted him with a single picture she sent him. Two tickets, for an evening show at Boston Opera House. A clear invitation, an olive branch that she should not have been pushed to extend – she didn’t do anything wrong. He looked closer at the photo, zooming in on the time the show was supposed to start.

Two hours. He had two hours to get himself together. Two hours until he’d see her again.

Heart pounding, he jumped up from his seat and began preparations, dialing another phone number and giving clear instructions to the person on the receiving end of the call.

~

He doesn’t think there’s ever been a time he was this nervous when stepping into the Opera building. And it was a different kind of nervous, a kind he never wanted to experience again. He was used to the anticipation that came with every date they ever had, the good kind of nervousness that stemmed from his inability to wait until he saw her. This, however, was torture in its purest form, and he admitted to himself with a pang of guilt that he subjected himself to it on his own.

His hands were full. Full of flowers that the florist somehow managed to put together when he called frantically two hours ago – he left a hefty tip with a grateful nod. His fingers traced the stems of the white roses, shaking nervously. From time to time, he tugged on the collar of his shirt, restlessly, the uncertainty of what was to come making his breathing labored.

“Nice tux.” She called out, waiting patiently for him to face her. It didn’t take long – her voice made him turn around haphazardly, his eyes drinking in her face and then widening when he noticed the dress she was wearing. Suddenly, he couldn’t see anything else but the way the fabric hugged her in the classiest way.

“Are you trying to kill me?” he breathed out, his brain short circuiting. Her lips curled in a subtle smile. She touched the pearl necklace he once gave her in wonder.

“Haven’t decided yet.”

Ethan took a step towards her, extending the bouquet slightly with an uneasy look. Her eyes fell towards the flowers and, for a moment, he thought he could see her gaze softening. She took the roses from him, the scent reaching her in waves.

“Thank you.” she muttered without looking up at him. Despite her being just mere centimeters away from him, he could still feel the chasm between them – and he felt like the space was suffocating him.

“It’s not nearly enough.” He tried again. Claire hummed, not disagreeing with his words. She reached into her purse, taking two tickets out and handing him one of them. He accepted it gratefully, combing his mind for something that would start a conversation between them. The silence was killing him.

He looked closer at the ticket and noticed something was off. “You didn’t book our booth?”

The corners of her lips shot up slightly at ‘our’. “No, I got us seats in the booth on the other side. I needed…” she hesitated, avoiding his searching gaze. “A change of perspective.”

His mouth opened and closed. She rarely said anything without thinking it through, so the choice of words she used made him feel unease all over again. Claire finally looked up at him, giving him a teasing smirk.

“Before you say anything, I didn’t go bankrupt because of those.” She nodded towards the tickets in their hands. “I have more than enough money to spend on things I want.”

“That resident salary is treating you that well, huh?” he tried joking and it worked. She gave him a laugh, shaking her head.

“A resident that’s also on the Diagnostic Team. And you’re clearly forgetting what my family does for a living.”

“Did you just flex your family muscle on me?” Ethan grinned, taking another step towards her. She nodded, challenging him with her stare. “Are you trying to impress me?”

“That’s your job tonight, babe.” Claire shot back, walking around him swiftly. He froze in place, turning towards her like a sunflower towards the sun – always following where she went. Her hips swayed from side to side alluringly as she walked, and he couldn’t look away. Suddenly, she stopped to look over her shoulder, smirking at the look he was giving her. “Are you coming or not?”

~

The lights from the stage illuminated her face just enough for him to see her features. Since they sat down and the show has started, he’s spent a total of maybe five minutes watching what was happening on stage. Remaining time was occupied by her, on the forefront of his mind and right before his eyes. Her cheeks were reddened slightly – something he noticed when a particularly bright light shone on her face.

They’ve done it countless of times before. Dates. He never got used to nerves that accompanied them, and he hoped he never would. It was a part of the allure that made it all the more exciting. Claire’s always made him feel nervous, since the first day he’s met her. Three years later, he still felt the same spark that ran through him when he first touched her hand.

He turned to her again, unable to ignore the pang that hit him every time he saw her stopping herself from reaching for him. She may have been the one that organized their evening, giving him a chance to make things right between them, but it didn’t mean she was going to ignore what was obviously there.  

She’d never make him talk if he wasn’t ready to do so. Their relationship was built on mutual respect. They recognized when the other needed to talk and when they needed some time to gather their thoughts. Through the time they’ve known each other, they learned to find those cues and signs.

That’s how Claire knew that Ethan wasn’t really ready to tell her what exactly happened, hence why she stuck to texts instead of calls or visits. His lack of any contact, however, hurt her – more so when his previous behaviors similar to this were taken into consideration.

In light of this, her hesitation to initiate any sort of contact between them made perfect sense. All he had to do was let her know that he was okay, however relative it was to say in his current situation, and none of this would be happening. All he had to do was let her in, even if only a little – she’s never asked for anything more. And yet, he couldn’t even give her that, not immediately at least.

It became clear to him that he needed to let her know how much he trusts her. When she said she knew him. When she said she understood him – better than anyone, he added with a grin. When she said she’s falling for him. He trusted all of those words, but his actions didn’t support it. He could see it in her eyes when their gazes crossed earlier that evening. She thought he still sheltered himself from her, and him disappearing, again, was the proof that spoke the loudest.

Slowly, he reached for her hand. A soft brush of his finger against hers, testing the waters to see if she would flinch, if she would push him away or avoid him. When she did none of those things, he carefully covered her hand with his, only to, after a moment, lace their fingers together. Ethan gave her a squeeze, unable to bring himself to look away from the way their hands fit together like two pieces of the same puzzle. She squeezed his hand lightly, still refusing to look him in the eye.

Music swelled around them, tugging on their emotions until it was difficult to breathe. He noticed how her face twisted gently, revealing more of her feelings to him than he’s seen the entire evening. The characters on the stage have separated, each singing their hearts out about the feeling of loss – Claire couldn’t have known that, but the pain in their voices was enough to bring her to the edge of tears by the time the break in the show began.

Before Ethan could say anything, she excused herself breathlessly and walked out of the booth, leaving him alone to his thoughts. And he’s been alone with them for quite some time now.

He began reflecting on the first time he took her to see an opera. The similarity of the situation was striking – he suddenly knew why she suggested this out of every place they could go to. Her thoughtfulness really shouldn’t surprise him, yet he was always amazed with how well she knew what needed to be done. Oftentimes, she neglected her own needs to accommodate others, which left not much space for her in it all. That’s what became one of Ethan’s priorities early on in their relationship – make sure she remembered about herself.

She was taking care of him too, sometimes even unknowingly. Making him take breaks in the middle of the day. Bringing him coffee when he was stuck in meetings and couldn’t walk out of the room for even a second – the whole Board by now knew about their relationship from their first-hand observations, sending him meaningful looks when she left the room.

One thing that spoke more of her feelings for him than anything else was how she persistently stayed by his side through it all. His world was quite literally falling apart, and she was the one holding it in place. She told him that she knew how it felt to risk losing something you’ve worked for, how it felt to come so close to having everything slip away and that she was going to help him in any way she could.

Claire told him all of that when he broke the protocol – yet here they were again. If there was one person between the two of them that had a pattern of behavior, it was him – running away when things got too complicated. Or, as it stood right now, when he didn’t want her to get impacted by his problems. She’s told him that she wants to be impacted, that she wants to help him, because she cares about him. She’s by his side because she cares about him. And he told her he knew and understood her concern, but clearly, he didn’t register it enough, if he was in the exact same position right now. It’s as though he hasn’t learned a thing.

Perhaps she was getting tired of it. If he continued to act the way he’s been acting up until this point, she’d surely be pushed enough to leave him – and he couldn’t imagine a fate worse than that for himself.

It was the last time I let myself run, he thought to himself, cursing for even allowing it to get to this point. Where was his brain when he even considered it a viable option? In what universe would that behavior be okay? Her resolve and persistence became even more striking to him – he knew that he most likely didn’t deserve her.

She was still here, though, so he must have done something right. But one good deed wasn’t enough to make up for letting her down, time and time again. Ethan didn’t need her to tell him that what he was doing was unacceptable – he’s realized it on his own.

It’s never happening again.

Claire walked back into the booth, leaning against the wall to watch him. He was perfectly aware of what she could see in his posture. His nervousness in the way he played with the edge of his jacket. She’s been gone a moment too long and he was a second away from standing up from his seat to go after her.

Ethan turned around at the sound of her steps, refraining from saying anything until she was seated. His hand itched to reach for her, to feel her skin again. He got the permission to do just that, when their gazes finally crossed and she nodded gently. Letting out a shaky sigh of relief, he laced their fingers together, feeling the soft fabric of her dress under his skin.

“I’m sorry.” He muttered, raising their joined hands to kiss her wrist. Claire guided the movement, pressing her palm to his cheek. The gesture ensured their eyes didn’t stray from one another and allowed them a moment of clarity.

“Aren’t you tired of running?” her words were laced with emotions so much, it felt like a mental blow to both of them. It was a simple question that he already knew the answer to. Nothing was more obvious to him.

“I am.”

She held his gaze, silent for a moment, then placed her second hand on his shoulder. “Don’t do it again.” she whispered, a hint of a tear shining in her eyes. “We’ve talked about it before, Ethan. I’m tired of going in circles with you.”

“I know.” He brushed the tear away, bringing her closer to rest his forehead against hers. “You don’t deserve this.”

“No, I don’t.” Claire agreed, nodding her head. She leaned away, lowering their hands and resting them in her lap. “You can tell me anything, in your own time. I’m the last person to judge, because I know that some things need that time. But I would never cut you out the way you just did, especially if I knew that you were worried.”

Ethan lowered his head in shame, finding no words to defend his dense behavior. He knew she was right – his behavior left a lot to be desired. Claire continued.

“It tells me that you don’t view me as your equal. You don’t trust me enough to confide in me. Every time something happens, it’s always the same story.” She sighed, falling deeper into her seat. Her hand was still in his, allowing him that form of contact. “I need transparency here, Ethan. We have rules, that you came up with, that you break every time things get tough.”

He winced at the vulnerable edge in her voice. More than ever before, he felt as though the ground was about to be pulled from beneath him.

“You can’t be in a relationship only a little. Or only on weekends. You’re either in it for good, and you take everything that comes with it, the easy and the difficult, or there’s nothing left to say.”

And there it was.

Ethan’s eyes widened. A hand wrapped around his heart and squeezed, making him feel lightheaded. If he ever had gotten a wake-up call before, this one was the loudest one. And the most devastating.

“Claire, wait.” He said, his voice strained when she tried to pull her hand out of his hold. She glanced at their hands, then up at him, her eyes glassy. Ethan breathed out heavily, pleading with his whole being for her to stay where she was. “You’re right. I haven’t been fair towards you.”

“That’s saying it mildly.”

“I know I don’t say it enough, but you’re my person. I trust you more than anyone else, even if I’m utterly useless at expressing it.” He gave her fingers a tender squeeze, his eyes finding hers urgently. “I’m an asshole for making you worry, and an even bigger one for keeping you in the dark. You deserve better, and lately, I’ve been messing up.”

“Can’t say I disagree.” She mused, tilting her head slightly. “Is there a reason for that?”

“I don’t know.” Ethan’s thumb traced her ring finger “It’s as though there is this outside force that’s making me do all those idiotic things, and before I realize what’s going on, everything’s already going to hell.”

“Sounds like you need to work on your impulse control.” Claire said, a tiny grin appearing on her face.

“You’re my impulse control.”

He cupped her cheek with his free hand, stroking the line of her cheekbone softly. She leaned in, just a fraction of a centimeter. Her gaze was a mix of feelings Ethan couldn’t describe – it made him feel a bit more at ease and at the edge of his seat, all at the same time.

“I’m sorry, Claire.” He muttered, voice low and thick, overcame with emotions. Claire nodded her head, a sigh filling the space between them. Her eyes, even though they were growing softer just a moment ago, were now hardened and serious.

“Don’t ever do that to me, ever again.”

“Of course. I know.”

“No, I don’t think you do.” She cleared her throat, straightening her posture. “If you don’t start treating me like your equal here, I will leave you. There’s only so much I can take, Ethan, and I draw the line at this.” Ethan’s entire body froze at a very real perspective of her walking away. The feeling of ground disappearing from beneath him came back, twice as strong. He shook his head, words rushing through his head. “And that would suck, because I don’t want to leave you.”

“I can’t lose you, Claire.”

“Then don’t lose me. Don’t push me away.” She breathed out, at last, squeezing his hand tightly. The atmosphere between them was heavy and it became difficult to breathe. Ethan knew they were not out of the woods, but he felt a bit less nervous when she cracked a smile. “Do I need to tie you down so you’d stop running?”

“You already did.” he mused, waiting for her permission, then leaning in to kissing her cheek softly.

They missed the second part of the show. He leaned close to rest his chin on her shoulder, his arm wrapped around her waist to keep her by his side – she wrapped her hand around his forearm in return. Voice low and quiet, he finally began telling her everything, sparing nothing. Once the show ends, he’ll follow her lead – after all, he’s never gotten lost with her by his side.

Notes

Am I above dissing PB in a fic, of all places? Hell no, I’m not. 

Opera because C is clever like that - and we love throwbacks to better times. 

PB is making Ethan act like an angsty teen. And don’t get me started on the ‘prying’ bit. Ma’am, it’s not prying, it’s called caring about your husband boyfriend because something is clearly going on and it seems as though he’s covering someone else’s ass and taking a fall for it. It’s called *concern*.

Thank you for reading! <3

Tagging separately

[agustdef]

I Found You

Pairing: Tattoo Artist!Hoseok x Doctor!Reader.

Genre: One Night Stand to Lovers; Fluff; Angst; Smut.

Word Count: 25.9K

Warning: Angsty. Language. Sexual activities. Daddy kink. Mild mention of pain within pleasure. 

Rating: 18+.

Banner Maker: @httpangelicjimin​ is the lovely human who dealt with me changing my banner and being willing to change the title on this one when I thought to use it for a story I’d pulled at of my ass at that exact moment.

Beta Reader: @mindays​ is the sweetest bean in the world who betas all my stuff and not only corrects things, but makes me feel like I’m not just writing trash. 

YN just wanted a weekend of peace and doing nothing. She’d spent a week doing twelve–hour shifts at the hospital and despite doing her best to take breaks she was drained. So, when one of the other doctors said they needed to swap their three–day weekend for one she had two weeks later she jumped at the chance.

It was like the universe was on her side. 

So, she’d spent Friday sleeping and eating. Somehow, she’d even managed to get in some yoga, which made her body feel like it was on cloud nine. All the tension and stress of being on her feet melting away. It was just what she needed. 

And she planned to spend her Friday night the same way. Surrounded by snacks as she watched the k–drama Goblin from the comfort of her bed and planned to order dinner as soon as the two leads finally confessed. She was so enthralled with the scene playing out – despite seeing it a million times – that she didn’t even notice the door to her bedroom open and her roommate enter.

It was just as the moment she was waiting for was to happen that she was alerted.

“What are you doing?” Beau asked, well shouted.

Startled, YN whipped her head around to stare at the male, eyes wide and chest heaving. Her heart felt like it was going to jump from her chest.

“What the fuck Beau?” YN said.

All she got was laughter and him plopping down onto her bed, obstructing the view of her TV. It’s when YN tried to push him to the side that she realized the moment had passed and the scene moved on to something else. Her nostrils flared and she glared at Beau, reaching out to slap his arm but hitting his breast instead as he tried to dodge.

“Ow,” Beau whined, swatting her back.

YN slapped his hand before he could though and stuck out her tongue. 

“Ow my ass. You know that’s my favorite,” she mumbled.

Beau stuck out his tongue as well, his hand rubbing the assaulted boob. “Yes, that you’ve seen like three times this month alone.” 

“And that matters because?”

“Because you can wait to see it again and we are going out to a party at the tattoo shop and you have to get dressed.”

The expression of annoyance on YN’s face morphed to that of confusion as she stared her roommate down. She reached up pushing his long, curly hair out of the way to press her hand against his forehead. It felt normal, which couldn’t possibly be right.

“We? We are doing what now?” she asked. 

Beau rolled his eyes and rose from the bed. 

“We are going to Yoonie’s shop and enjoying a tattoo party. You haven’t gone out to do anything in almost two months and you can’t use too tired as an excuse. I want you to go. Yoongi wants you to go. And you know it won’t be crazy, so you’re going.”

Naturally, YN had about twelve different arguments for why she shouldn’t go out, but then she saw Beau pout and something in her black soul couldn’t say no. She’d been impervious to his charms once upon a time, but now she was mush. It was ridiculous. 

Also, she wouldn’t put it past him to Facetime Yoongi who’d smile at her one time and make her crack in an instant. Her roommate’s boyfriend was a kindred spirit and made her soft, so saying no to him felt like committing a crime or something.

How she’d attracted people who could weaken her defenses she was unsure. But she guessed they were nice to have around.

Groaning, she threw her head back. “Fine.”

Beau squealed and immediately turned towards YN’s closet, but that was a no go for her. He’d spend forever in there trying to get YN to wear something slightly more over the top then needed. Which would be done for the sole purpose of trying to put her out there to any of the people at the party so he could convince her to go on a date.

Wasn’t happening.

“Nope. I’ll find something on my own. You go get my curl creme and edge control from your bathroom, because I know you stole it,” YN said.

“I didn’t–”

YN fixed him with a glare before he could continue and he stopped talking though there was an eye roll as he walked out of the room.

“Also, I know you took my high waisted shorts too. Don’t think I don’t,” she shouted after him.

Once she heard a series of words cursing her a smile graced her lips. Getting on Beau’s nerves – even a little bit – was always fun. 

With her temporary privacy YN made a beeline to her dresser. Without much thought, she yanked a pair of high waisted gray shorts from a drawer and slipped them on under her shirt.

She’d decided the weekend would be anti–pants.

After that she found a bra from another drawer and slipped it on up underneath before heading to the closet. Obviously, she wasn’t going to go all out but that did not mean that she wouldn’t at least try to be cute. She searched for a bit before finding a lilac, long sleeved, cold–shoulder top. It was a favorite of hers. Tight and flowy in all the right places. She was forever thankful that she’d been home the day Beau cleaned out his closet and had the chance to snap up a few things.

YN slipped off her shirt and pulled on the top before heading out of the room towards her bathroom. She was met part way by Beau with her hair care products in his hands.

“You’re not going to shower?” he asked.

“I showered three hours ago.”

At that Beau shrugged, but then there was this weird smile that graced his lips. It was one that YN was very familiar with and she’d already started shaking her head.

“Can I do your hair?” he asked.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because you take too long. We wouldn’t leave for another hour at least because you’d overthink if something is even or if it looks good. And I’m guessing we don’t have that kind of time.”

Beau pursed his lips for a moment, but then shook his head. 

“Exactly. So, give me fifteen minutes to do something with it and put on bare minimum make–up.”

He nodded and retreated from the bathroom. “I’ll text Yoonie and then go down to the car.”

YN gave a thumbs up before she got to work. Her make–up was truly bare minimum with some concealer, mascara, and a touch of gloss. Enough to keep her from looking like she’d worked twelve–hour shifts but not too much that she felt the need to do a full face. Then once that was done, she whipped off her bonnet and took down the twists. She’d planned to leave the twist–out in for a few days, but it needed washing so it could come down sooner.

It took her a total of five minutes to get the hair down, placed how she wanted, and her edges laid. A spritz of oil and some mild teasing of her curls and she was pleased. 

She indeed looked cute enough to be happy with herself.

After grabbing her phone, purse, and backup charger she made quick work of slipping on a random pair of shoes and making her way downstairs to Beau’s car. He was pulled up to the door when she arrived, so the moment she slipped in they were off.

For the first ten minutes of the drive they listened to music and belted the lyrics, but just as they grew closer to the shop Beau turned it down.

“You have to be nice to people,” he said, fixing YN with a look that made her close her mouth as she went to protest. “I know you think you’re not mean, but you’re mean. You can’t be mean. Talk to people before you decide they’re dicks and then you can be however you want. But you’re here to have fun, destress, and socialize. Even if it’s only a little. And no, Yoongi and I don’t count.”

YN sighed, but nodded. But then a thought popped into her head.

“So that means–”

Beau cut her off just as he parked behind the shop. “No. No Jungkook or Jin or any of the boys either. You must branch out to someone else.”

Of course, he was right, so she was just going to go with it. Plus, there was one week where all YN thought about in her off time was that she needed to go out more. However, all her friends happened to be busy that whole week and she couldn’t be bothered to venture out on her own.

“Okay, dad.”

At that Beau glared at her before getting out of the car. YN laughed so hard she barely managed to get her belt off and to the back door before he opened it.

Once they were in the building she could hear the faint sound of music playing and it just happened to be a song she loved. YN followed Beau through the backroom to the hallway that led to all the tattoo rooms and then eventually to the spacious lobby area.

There were people loitering about mingling with each other, but it was not as many as YN originally feared. And honestly fewer people than when Yoongi usually threw get–togethers. So, it was a win for her.

The moment they stepped into view most people’s attention turned to them. Yoongi – who was in the middle of a conversation with Jimin, Namjoon, and someone else YN couldn’t see clearly – smiled their way. He broke from the group with his arms opened and Beau moved quickly towards him, but he was bypassed for YN.

As YN wrapped her arms around Yoongi in a tight hug she smirked at Beau over his shoulder. Beau pouted and glared at them.

“Does he look ready to murder us yet?” Yoongi whispered, amusement clear in his voice.

“Nah, just being a big baby.”

At that Yoongi laughed and pulled away from YN, but that didn’t mean he turned to greet his boyfriend. No, instead he reached up and gently pinch YN’s cheek which earned him a slap of the hand.

“Good to see you’re still eating properly with all that work you’re doing. Those precious cheeks looking plumper than usual, baby sister. So cute,” he cooed.

YN rolled her eyes so hard surely they should’ve gotten stuck. Yoongi always got weird when he didn’t see her for long periods of time because of work. It was cute, but also slightly embarrassing. Like the last time he’d called her little sister in a room full of people YN could count the number of people on two hands who tried to process this Korean man calling some Black woman his little sister.

“Of course, I eat. You constantly leave me food or send delivery to my job. Or have Jin come from all the way on the opposite side of the hospital at mealtimes to bully me into eating at specific times,” YN said.

All Yoongi did was smile and wink at her before turning around to face Beau. Of course, Beau tried to maintain his pout, but all it took was Yoongi smiling and kissing him for that to stop. While YN made fake gagging sounds in the background. 

That earned her another glare from Beau, but again it didn’t last long as he looked between her and Yoongi.

“At this point you may as well find a way to adopt her,” Beau said.

“Oh, don’t worry. Mom already has the paperwork going,” Yoongi said.

It was hard to tell if he was joking though. He’d hinted at that before and since his mother had taken to her the same way he had; it wasn’t impossible that it would be a thought. And if YN was honest, she didn’t mind. His family was amazing and she loved them to pieces. They also reciprocated that love and it felt like she’d belonged somewhere for the first time. Like she had family for the first time in years.

YN shook her head as she tried to get her mind from wandering down that path. It wasn’t great and she didn’t want to ruin her night by thinking about someone who didn’t matter to her. Someone who she didn’t matter to.

“Oh, Hobi’s here. You can finally meet him, Sid. You two always manage to never be in the same place at the same time,” Beau said.

Nodding, YN followed them over to where the boys were standing around. Before she could even speak she was wrapped in hugs. And all of them were so tight that she was unsure if they were trying to break her. Once that was done she stepped a bit away so they didn’t think of clinging to her again.

“Hi to you too,” she mumbled while rubbing one of her sore arms.

Jin laughed as he watched her. “That’s what you get when you go MIA for so long. Even I had trouble finding you and we pretty much worked all the same shifts.”

“Maybe you’d find me if you didn’t spend so much time flirting with all the nurses in my department,” she said.

Naturally Jin didn’t mind being called out in the slightest and merely smirked at her. The dork loved himself a little too much sometimes. Or honestly the ladies loved him a little too much. And men. And non–binary people. Just everyone. Everyone loved him a little too much and as a respectful “fuckboy” he ate it all up.

“Before we’re forced to hear about Jin and the new male nurse in cardiology. YN meet Hoseok. Hoseok, YN,” Yoongi said.

Finally, YN glanced the way of the mystery man from earlier and her eyes widened a fraction. She would’ve been embarrassed if his expression didn’t mirror hers. 

He looked almost exactly like that last – and first – time she saw him months ago, except his hair was longer and a light brown. It looked good on him, like way too good that she was imagining how things would have differed if she’d had all that to pull on.

Of course, while she mildly fantasized the others stared them down and descended into confusion when neither spoke a word.

“Uh, y’all good?” Beau asked cautiously. 

“Do you know each other or something?” Namjoon asked.

Not taking their eyes off each other they both nodded. But Yoongi didn’t find that sufficient and pinched YN, drawing her out of the momentary shock.

“Uh, yeah. We met a few months ago in a club,” she said.

Hoseok nodded. “We slept together.”

That made everyone freeze, mouths and eyes opened wide in shock. But that shock did not last long at all.

Yoongi lost it a little. “Oh goodness, no. No. No. No. You made me listen to you go into detail about that. You basically just gave me a preview of my little sister’s sex life. No.”

Hoseok appeared to be embarrassed by that, but not so much that he tried to escape or hide away. And YN was almost equally disgusted, but not because her sex life had been divulged. She had no qualms with that seeing as she’d done the same thing. But thinking about Yoongi knowing anything that happened that night was just so weird. Her body literally shuddered at the thought.

“My bad,” Hoseok said.

“Yeah, your bad,” Yoongi said.

From there silence remained within the group, but then something shifted in Yoongi and he looked ready to square up with Hoseok.

“Did you sleep with her and kick her out? Hoseok, so help me if you treated her like trash I will hurt you.”

YN quickly moved to put a hand on his shoulder and push him back a bit. 

“Whoa, there. None of that happened. We slept together and he offered to let me stay the night. The next morning I got dressed and we said our goodbyes. He was very nice,” she said. 

It took a moment or two before Yoongi calmed down, but when he did he appeared remorseful for his little outburst. And though YN was a little surprised and knew it was unnecessary some part of her was warmed by having someone willing to back her up.

“Sorry,” Yoongi mumbled.

However, despite Yoongi pulling it together, Beau was looking at Hoseok as if not sure if he was upset with him or not. Which was not good seeing as YN knew of the two Beau was most likely to hurt some feelings on behalf of those he cared about. And it didn’t matter how close he was to the other person, if you fucked up, you fucked up and he was going to tell you about yourself.

“Is this going to make things awkward?” Beau asked.

“It shouldn’t,” Hoseok said.

At the same time YN replied with, “Nope.”

That appeased him enough and YN hoped all of it would stop there, but obviously that couldn’t be the case.

“Go talk,” Yoongi said.

“What? Why?” YN whined.

Yoongi fixed her with a serious expression and she knew immediately that he wasn’t going to budge. “Because I need to be sure it won’t be awkward so you need to go talk about this. Also, I just need a moment away from both of you until the mental image stops.”

“But–” Hoseok started.

“Let’s just do it. He’ll push for forever and then it’ll be bigger than it is. Plus, you did just mentally scar him.”

Sighing, he stood straight up and nodded. “Fair.”

YN stepped out of the way so that he could get by and extended her arm in a flourish. 

“Lead the way.” 

And lead he did. Hoseok took her towards the back and didn’t stop until he entered one of the artist rooms. It was one YN had never been in before so she assumed it was his and was proven correct when she saw some polaroids of him tattooing on the wall next to some sketches.

While she took in the space Hoseok had taken a seat in his rolling stool and watched her. He didn’t rush the conversation, just observed her. And from the way he angled down to her lower half when she finally looked his way, he was also checking her out.

YN smirked at that.

“We fucked, it was good, we did it again in the morning before I left, and there are no hard feelings right?”

That made Hoseok laugh. “As blunt as you were then. You keep that up and I might need another round right now.”

“Another round?”

“Yup.”

“Right here?”

“Yup.”

Then it was YN’s turn to laugh. “You must want Yoon to kill you.”

“I’d be fine with that. At least I got to have some great sex before I die. And isn’t that all anyone could ever ask for?”

And just like that she remembered why she’d even wanted to go home with Hoseok that night. His bright smile, the easy back and forth, the fact that she most definitely wanted to sit on his face and he was more than down for that.

From that point in their conversation, they went to talking about the ideal thing to do before death and then somehow got to talking about some YouTube video Hoseok had seen. It reached the point where he whipped out his phone to show her, standing up so she could see better. Though because of the length standing got annoying fast and despite there being a perfectly good tattoo chair that they could recline next to them, Hoseok sat on his stool and pulled YN onto his lap.

They were so wrapped up in what they were talking about and then watching, that neither of them realized how long they’d been gone. Or how that would look.

Yoongi burst into the room suddenly as if to catch them in the act and neither of them even flinched. And despite them clearly not being up to anything he still glared at Hoseok like he was planning his death. 

“What are you doing?” Yoongi asked.

YN shrugged, turning the phone so he could see. “Watching a thirty–minute video about drama in the YouTube beauty industry.”

For a moment Yoongi’s glare stopped and his brows knitted in confusion as he squinted to see the screen. But as quick as his aggression left it returned.

“On his lap?”

“We got tired of standing,” she said.

At that Yoongi raised a brow and gestured to the tattoo chair as if the answer were obvious, and it was but it didn’t really matter.

YN groaned. “It’s not a big deal.” 

“You’re sitting on his lap!”

“Just be happy it’s all I’m sitting on,” she mumbled.

The gasp that left Yoongi afterwards made her aware that she hadn’t said it low enough, and before she could say anything else he stormed out of the room murmuring about needing bleach.

“Wait, Yoon. I’m sorry,” she shouted as she got up and went after him. Though she was laughing so it didn’t make it any better.

From there she was forced to chase Yoongi around the party until he let her hug him and promised not to murder Hoseok. Of course, it took some of Beau’s help for the second thing because any time Hoseok made a case for himself you could tell Yoongi was thinking about it even more.

After that, she moved about talking to the people she knew, but somehow always ended up in some corner talking with Hoseok about anything and everything. It was nice and she didn’t hate being forced out of her home as much. Of course, she was still tired so a good time and a nice conversation didn’t remove the longing fully.

As things winded down and people started to leave the core group – the people who worked there and close friends – all huddled near the waiting area. They all joked around and dragged each other for everything under the sun. Most things weren’t off limits so it led to a lot of dodging random punches to the arms if anyone felt any kind of way. But no one ever crossed a line.

It remained that way until even they got tired and were ready to head home. YN got up from her seat to use the bathroom and Beau hopped up with her.

“I’ll come with you,” he said.

YN paused and turned to look at him with a raised brow.

“Why?”

“Because.”

Arguing was always a choice, but it was also a waste of time and she really had to pee. So, without a word YN turned and headed to the bathroom with Beau hot on her heels. Once inside she was grateful it was two stalls so she had some distance between them, but it wasn’t much since Beau felt the need to lean against the closed stall door as he talked to her.

“So, what are the odds you sleep with Hobi again?” he asked.

YN rolled her eyes. Of course, that’s what he wanted. 

“Moderate to high seeing as I’ll probably see him more often now that he’s not guesting at shops all the time and we’ll be in each other’s presence a lot more. Plus, he is single and I have no objections to sleeping with him if he’s down.”

“Wait. Did you just give in? That quickly? Oh, come on you usually make me work for it or deny, deny, deny until I leave you alone.”

There was the sound of a toilet flush before YN answered.

“Maybe it’s because you’re a nosy Nancy and I know you won’t let this go. Plus, what is the point of lying to you when I’m sure everyone noticed me checking him out more than once in the past few hours,” she said.

With a slightly harder push she indicated her want to exit the stall and Beau moved to let her out. She tried to avoid his gaze, but she saw him in the mirror as she went to wash her hands. 

Beau stared at her with eyes wide, but slowly a smirk graced his lips. Which was all YN needed to see to know he was not done with his questions despite getting an answer from her so easily.

“So, is this a fucking thing or could it be a dating thing? Do I finally get to go on double dates with you again? We haven’t had those since you and that doctor Jin works with broke up.”

“I don’t know. I’m not even saying we’re going to have sex again; I’m saying I’m not opposed. Whatever happens, happens,” she said, but just as she finished rinsing she continued, “And for the love of Zeus please do not mention that man ever again. He’s been trying to enact some sort of at work booty call situation and has Jin passing me notes. I would rather do anything else but remember dating him.”

At that Beau laughed, well more like he cackled. He found amusement in hearing about how that man just didn’t know how to take a hint. Of course, YN’s “ex” had never gone as far as to make her uncomfortable or cross a line, but he was so damn annoying and she was beyond over it.

“Okay, okay. I’ll let it go. And I’ll never bring up Dr. Mistakes–Anal–Beads–As–Candy.”

Before YN could even turn around Beau ran away, sprinting out of the bathroom at a speed he reserved for when he knew his ass was going to be kicked. And YN did plan to kick it but decided not to once she’d gotten out of the bathroom. At least not do it right then, she’d get her revenge another time. An unexpected time. 

So, while Beau ran to hide YN took her sweet time making it back out front. When she appeared Beau was hiding behind Joon and she didn’t even bat an eyelash or glance his way. She wanted to build the fear. 

With their return everyone started to say their goodbyes and gave out an unnecessary amount of hugs. Yoongi had an early morning work thing so he was going back to his apartment, which meant he and Beau being soft on a vomit inducing level for a few minutes. It was a win for YN because she didn’t have to hear them or happen on their naked forms at some point, but as she was forced to see them snuggle into each other and cooing she kind of wished he was coming back with them. Or that Beau was going with him.

Thankfully, Hoseok appeared in front of her and his presence gave her something else to focus on, even if she could still hear them. Though even that went out the window the moment he leaned down to whisper in her ear. 

“I would be more than okay with sleeping with you again. Like very much so down for that to the point that you could ask me right now,” he said.

YN scoffed at that, knowing he must’ve heard Beau in the bathroom. Which wasn’t hard seeing as he’d asked the questions loudly despite them being in the same space.

“Eavesdropping, are we?” YN asked. 

Hoseok laughed and shrugged. “Just in the right place at the right time. And I’m very glad I was.”

“Ah, okay. Well, I’ll make sure to remember your answer to this thing you didn’t eavesdrop on,” she said.

He pulled away, but only enough to meet her eyes. “You should. You should even give me your number so we can maybe make it a thing.”

Though part of her wanted to laugh, something about the eye contact and smooth words made her just hand over her unlocked phone. Which made Hoseok smile wider than she’d seen, something that she thought would be impossible.

Once he put the number in and called himself he handed it back. YN thought he’d give her space after that, but he just leaned in again. That time he was close enough that she felt his breath on her neck and it sent a tingle down her spine.

“Oh, and I’m down for the dating thing too. So, text me when you have the time to let me take you out,” he whispered.

That time a tingle coursed through her for a different reason, and in a different place. 

YN planned to take him up on those offers, but of course work happened. 

Things at the hospital weren’t even hectic, but for some reason she worked ten times more than she had for months. She was in a constant state of movement, to the point where she ate while walking the halls to do things and only ever sat in the car ride home and when she went to bed. Her body wasn’t happy at all, but it knew there was no stopping. 

Or it at least knew that it would get a short break in between and kept going until that time came.

Her work week was at its end on a Tuesday night. It would be almost two weeks off for her since she’d taken on such a workload that she was mandated a longer off time and her vacation time coincided with that. It was a miracle. Or that’s what it felt like with how shitty her day had been.

It was non–stop running around because an accident occurred and she was in and out of surgeries. Nothing she hadn’t experienced before, but on one operating table there was a pregnant woman who’d been on her way in because of labor. In the end she was fine but trying to stop the bleeding and safely deliver the baby was a draining task. 

After that YN was allowed time to shower and eat, because ten hours in surgery was no joke. 

And because of the strenuous work she’d been moved to doing only charts for her last few hours. There weren’t a lot so she trudged along slowly to get them done. She finished her last one about fifteen minutes before her shift was over.

Of course, she usually hid until time was up but something possessed her to go to the nurses’ station to check on things. However, when she arrived at the station she was surprised to see who was standing there.

Jin was flirting with the head nurse as usual, though the woman merely ignored him. It wasn’t like he was one hundred percent serious and she was older and married. Her kids were Jin’s age. So, the young doctor with his smooth words didn’t faze her. But the true surprise was that Hoseok was leaning against the counter next to him talking with a male nurse.

None of them paid her any attention until she got closer and cleared her throat. 

With her presence clear Hoseok turned to her and she watched as his smile grew and though she returned it confusion bloomed.

Naturally, Jin didn’t let her curiosity last too long.

“Looks like Hobi was right on time. Though I’m glad you showed up instead of making me search your hiding spots,” he said.

“Right on time for what?” she asked.

“Oh, he got tired of the conflicting schedules so he demanded to know when you would be free so he could ta–”

Hoseok cut him off, using his hand to cover Jin’s.

“What he’s trying to say is that I wanted to go out with you soon and I thought this was the easiest way. Though it might seem a little creepy, but I’d hope you could look past that since you did joke about the only way this would work is if I were spontaneous. Plus, you said you’re off for a while after today,” Hoseok said.

Though he appeared confident in his words she could see some uncertainty in his eyes. He probably worried he’d crossed a line. And though usually she’d be put off by that, he wasn’t wrong she had said it. Plus, she’d been serious and joking. With the way life was there was always a high chance she’d keep forgetting or having something else to do. Or he’d be busy with work himself.

But got damn was she tired and in no way prepared to go out with anyone. That must have been clear in her expression though, because Hoseok was already talking.

“I know, you’re ending a week of intense shifts. And Jin told me this one was not great by any means. We’re not going out, going out. I had something planned for us to stay in. It could be your place or mine. Nothing crazy or that requires energy or paying much attention. Promise.”

YN pursed her lips for a moment, but she didn’t hate the idea. She was tired, exhausted was probably the better term, but being in the company of someone else in a relaxing environment sounded good.

“That’s fine,” she said.

In an instant she watched all worry leave his face and his smile brighten even more. That time she had no reservations about returning it.

“Let me finish up and go get my stuff and I can meet you at the main entrance?”

“Yeah. I’ll be out front.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

They stood there for a moment staring at each other until Jin got fed up and lightly shoved YN in the opposite direction. After glaring at him she finally made her away around the nurses’ station to talk for a moment with the doctor taking over. It was a few minutes before she headed to the locker rooms and switched from her scrubs to a pair of joggers and a too big hoodie she’d stolen from Yoongi some time ago.

After a quick bye to her people and Jin – who had a few hours more of his shift – she headed to the main entrance. Hoseok wasn’t right in front because that was illegal, so she had to jog a little to get to his car. He leaned over to push the door open for her and she slid in, dropping her small backpack on the floor in front of her.

Once she’d gotten her seatbelt on she expected him to start driving, but after several seconds of nothing she turned to look at him. He wore an amused expression as he watched her.

“What?” she asked.

“You haven’t told me where you would prefer.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.”

He chuckled at her obvious forgetfulness.

“It’s wherever you want, love,” he said.

“Uh…” 

YN pulled her lower lip between her teeth and nibbled on it while she weighed her choices. At home she’d get comfortable instantly and have everything that she needed at her fingertips. But at the same time she didn’t want to deal with Yoongi being weird and overprotective and she knew he’d be there that night. But Hoseok’s meant spending a night in a bed she was only mildly familiar with, which would end in her waking up more disoriented than usual after a shift like the one she had.

After a minute or so of debate, her sanity won out.

“Yours.”

“Okay then, it shouldn’t ta–”

“But I need to stop by my apartment to get some things–”

They both spoke at the same time and paused when they heard the other. There was silence for a few seconds and then laughter. YN motioned for Hoseok to continue.

“I was saying that it shouldn’t take long. I don’t live far from here. And to answer what you were saying, Beau summoned me to your apartment and gave me that,” he said while pointing to the back seat.

There sat one of YN’s weekend trip bags and immediately she rolled her eyes. Of course, Beau somehow foresaw that she’d chose to go to Hoseok’s or at least he hoped enough to raid her room for things she’d need. 

Sometimes she questioned how close they were when she found herself unbothered by him going into her room to pick clothes for her. But alas what was done was done.

“Well, I guess straight to yours it is.”

Hoseok nodded and they were off. He didn’t try to make conversation and for that YN was glad. Despite the time to decompress at work with her charting it was never good enough because she was still in the environment. On the way home was a good time for her to process and move on with her day. It helped keep the bad things from lingering if she got them out of the way. It also lowered her emotional sensitivity. Sometimes the smallest thing could set her off after a hard day if she didn’t sit with it for a moment.

By the time she finished they were in the parking garage of his building and had been for several minutes. She only realized when her brain registered that she hadn’t felt the vibrations of the car for some time. Free from her haze she turned to look at Hoseok in confusion. 

He smiled. “You were deep in thought, so I wanted to let you finish whatever it was. Not like we’re in a rush anyway.”

At that YN could feel her cheeks heat a little, though not enough that a blush would be clear. She murmured a soft thank you and they got out of the car.

Though she’d been able to grab her backpack from the floor without a problem, Hoseok snatched up her other bag and tossed it over his shoulder. And from the look on his face when she’d reached for it there hadn’t been any use in trying to take it from him. So, she followed him as he led her through the garage and into the building. Once inside he slowed and when they were next to each other his hand went to her lower back, guiding her to the elevators.

Though she’d been a bit drunk the last time she’d come to his apartment she could still remember the way up. Her brain hit her with a barrage of images at every step and once inside the elevator it played out the whole scene of them practically humping each other as they made out.

Hoseok seemed to remember as well because he laughed and then looked at her with a smirk on his lips. She rolled her eyes and nudged him with her elbow, but of course she wasn’t actually bothered at all.

“Don’t think it’s happening again,” she said.

“Don’t think what’s happening again?” he asked, faux innocence coloring his voice.

Yet another eye roll and laughter from him before the doors opened on his floor and he guided her out. The apartment was the last one in the hallway which meant she had to deal with his teasing the entire way there. Once he input the code she pushed the door open to get away from him and his poking.

It was exactly how her fuzzy and then morning brain remembered. Organized with a few things thrown here and there, but by no means messy. There was also a strong smell of what could have been lavender, but YN couldn’t tell.

“You can set your stuff down in the bedroom. And shower if you want. I know you’ve had a long day, so it could help,” he said as he finally handed over her bag.

For a moment YN thought to turn him down because she’d showered, but then she realized how icky she felt. Showers at work weren’t always the best for feeling truly clean no matter how long you stayed in there or how hard you scrubbed.

“I think I’ll take you up on that,” she said.

Nodding, Hoseok led her to his bedroom and then to the ensuite. She set her backpack down in a corner of the room and brought the weekend bag with her. Once she entered the bathroom Hoseok was turning on the shower and then pulling out a towel, rag, and pointed out the body wash for her.

“That should be it,” he said, but paused glancing at her. “Do you need something for your hair?”

YN smiled at the consideration but shook her head. 

“I don’t care a whole lot if the braids get wet and I’m sure Beau packed something for me. But thank you.”

Moving forward she pressed a kiss to his cheek, which made him freeze. When she pulled away he’d collected himself and was smiling at her. He stared for a moment before excusing himself so that she could get her shower in. Telling her to call out for him if she needed anything.

Since she’d showered a few hours before it wasn’t a long one. Beau had packed a shower cap and her bonnet in the bag, along with some things that she most definitely didn’t need since she had no plans to have sex with Hoseok. And even if she did there was no need for the vibrator he put in there. But ignoring that she undressed and threw on the shower cap, jumping into the shower so she could get it done. She stood under the hot water for a while and it helped calm her further, but since she didn’t want to take a century in there she cut it shorter than her usual. 

It took maybe ten minutes or less for her to get herself clean in a way that actually felt like it and then she was done. She dried off in the shower before stepping out. Quickly, she threw on her undergarments – thank goodness Beau packed a sports bra – and then a pair of pajama shorts, plus a too large t–shirt that she’d stolen from Beau who’d stolen it from Yoongi. 

Once done she redid the bun her box braids were in and headed out with all her stuff. The moment she stepped foot into the bedroom she was met with a shirtless Hoseok in low hanging joggers. 

It took everything in her not to stare at the tattoos like she’d done the first time they met. Tipsy her had the man unbuttoning his shirt in the bar so she could get a better look. How they didn’t get kicked out, she was unsure.

“Done already?” he asked, glancing up from his phone.

“Yeah. I took one at work, I just didn’t feel clean enough,” she said.

He nodded though she saw a look flash in his eyes for a second and then disappear as quick as it came. She assumed it was worry or pity, something she was used to when she said things like that. People tended to think she was trying to wash away something that wasn’t physically there and they wouldn’t be completely wrong in that assumption.

YN placed her bag near the backpack and then turned back to Hoseok with a raised brow. 

“So, what are we doing?” she asked.

Hoseok pursed his lips as if in deep thought, but in a second it was replaced with yet another smile. “I was thinking of watching The Old Guard and finishing that season of Kakegurui. We don’t have to move onto season two, but I need to get to the end before I lose it.”

They’d been watching that anime together via Facetime for a few weeks and were maybe four or five episodes out from finishing. And YN wanted to get that done as much as he did. But she also had been upset for weeks about not getting to watch Old Guard. Like upset enough that she accused Beau of betrayal when he watched it without her and Yoongi had to play mediator. Though she was upset with him too, despite his somewhat convincing lie about falling asleep halfway through it.

But regardless of that she couldn’t help the happy feeling that filled her for him remembering that and for thinking it was something she’d enjoy. He was very right and honestly, it was what she needed to fully immerse herself into the relaxation of a break.

“That sounds great,” she said, smiling way too hard.

Without a word Hoseok reached out for her hand and she let him take it. Their fingers laced together as they walked out into the living room. Out there the TV was set up and the couch had a few blankets as well as some fluffy looking pillows. And since it was one of the larger ones that were in an L–shape she knew she’d fit comfortably on it no matter which way she laid.

She was led all the way to the couch and Hoseok practically ripped her arm off pulling her down with him. YN gasped and struggled to right herself as she was practically swallowed by the blankets. It took several seconds to get comfortable, but before she could truly settle into that Hoseok pulled her closer so that she was practically on top of him.

When he stopped moving her around she slapped his arm. 

“Excuse me, sir. You’re getting mighty comfortable are you not?”

Hoseok snorted. “I’ve slept with you and despite only seeing each other a handful of times over several weeks I’ve made it very clear I’m into you. And you fell asleep during that one group movie night using my thigh as a pillow. So not a word about being comfortable, ma’am.” 

YN scoffed at that but didn’t say anything. She had a very vivid memory of waking up the next morning still pressed against his thigh. If everyone hadn’t been sprawled out around them, she would’ve been much more embarrassed than she had been. Which wasn’t that much since the man's thighs made a nice, firm pillow.

“Fine,” she mumbled.

“That’s what I thought. Now what are you craving for dinner?” he asked, pulling out his phone and adjusting it for both to see.

Before she opened her mouth to ask what the options were, he already had a folder where he kept all his takeout apps open. She perused the page until something caught her eye and then she tapped the little app for a pizza place she liked.

“I thought you avoided greasy food after a shift?” he asked.

YN tilted her head back and pouted at him. Of course he was right, but she wasn’t in the mood for something light and healthy. She’d deal with the consequences later.

“Are you going to deny me what I want?” she asked, her voice gentle.

Hoseok’s expression softened as he reached over to boop her nose. But then he stuck his tongue out at her.

“You know I’m not, so stop pouting. And I don’t want to hear not one complaint when you feel like shit in the morning,” he mumbled the last part.

“I will complain as I damn well please!” YN shouted in a burst of energy.

All Hoseok did was roll his eyes and shove the phone closer to her face so she could put toppings on her pizza and order whatever else she wanted. She didn’t get much else. Besides the pizza she got a large coke that she made clear wouldn’t be shared and fries because why the hell not. 

Fries were never a bad choice. Even when she felt like crap the morning after.

With food ordered, Hoseok wrangled her into another position and pressed play on Netflix. She planned to argue but she felt so comfortable and her body physically relaxed, so there was no urge to call him out. Besides, he knew what she was okay with and she knew that if she was actually uncomfortable, he’d accept being called out. They wouldn’t have survived that night after sex if they hadn’t been clear on what was and wasn’t okay.

YN got so caught up in watching and being comfortable that time passed quickly and before she knew it they were halfway through the second episode and his doorbell was ringing. She groaned and fussed about having to move but got up without much persuasion. 

Hunger was still present despite the need for comfort more than anything.

Hoseok went and came back in minutes. By then YN paused the show and moved down to the floor so she sat in front of the coffee table. He laid out all the food, placing her box of pizza in front of her, along with everything else. 

The urge to eat at the smell of the food was strong, but she waited until he returned from the kitchen with glasses and got comfortable next to her. She opened her box carefully and smiled as she looked at the pepperoni, bacon, jalapeno pizza with heart eyes. No time was wasted grabbing a slice and taking a bite. 

By some miracle she didn’t moan out loud afterwards.

It had been so long since she’d had that pizza or any pizza at all. She’d been busy with work and thus that meant avoiding greasy things for the most part. Even when someone had brought it into the breakroom she had opted to grab a poptart before she ran off somewhere. She didn’t realize that she actually missed it.

The way she ate it made her feel almost like a pig, but she’d only consumed three or so slices in the time it took the episode to finish and the next to reach its halfway point. And Hoseok hadn’t made any sort of comment, not that he would judge her about how she inhaled her food.

Though she had spent that time focused on the TV and her food, not even sparing a glance at Hoseok. Carefully she turned her head to see him equally as focused as she was, and his pizza almost gone. Her eyes went wide as she looked from his to hers and back again. She’d seen him eat before, but it still shocked her how fast he could consume food. 

Did he even chew?

After about forty–five seconds of her watching him Hoseok turned his head to look her way. He swallowed the crust he’d shoved into his mouth and raised a brow.

“Yes?” he asked.

“I don’t think you even chewed that.”

He merely shrugged and took a sip of his drink.

“I did chew,” he mumbled after.

“For what? Two seconds?” she asked incredulously.

That made him laugh; one of those throw your head back kind. It lasted for several seconds and at some point YN shook her head and moved her attention back to the TV. Hoseok tried to get her attention after but she shrugged him off, even as he poked her side repeatedly and whined in her ear about wanting attention.

As minutes went by it was a little hard to ignore him, but as the last episode queued up she closed her pizza box – despite having half left – and moved on to her fries. Which got him to stop since she was eating and poking a stomach while someone ate was cause for not a great time. 

But sadly, she barely ate a third of them before she felt the tightening of her stomach and knew it was best to stop. It wasn’t unbearable and she didn’t want to make it that way.

Once she pushed it away from her Hoseok took that as the cue to start cleaning things up and preparing them to be put away. After downing some of her coke in hopes of a burp to make her feel not bloated she went to help, but her hands were smacked away. That didn’t deter her, but after the fourth smack she glared at Hoseok.

“Why are you stopping me?” 

Hoseok paused in his cleaning, turning to her to smirk and wink.

“Because. Now go get comfortable. We’re going back to the couch and staying there for the rest of the night.”

YN pursed her lips for a moment before huffing and leaning back against the couch. 

“Fine. So bossy,” she mumbled, though not low enough.

Again, Hoseok paused and turned to her, but his expression was different. Amusement and a glint of mischief lurked in his eyes. The kind of mischief that sent a tingle down her spine and elsewhere.

“If you truly want bossy, we can always go back to you calling me Daddy, darling. I have no problem changing around this night since you want to misbehave,” he said. 

Naturally, YN stared him down unbothered by his words. Of course, they did something to arouse her, but she was also a brat and wouldn’t back down from such a small amount of intimidation. Especially when she wasn’t submersed in that mindset before the topic was brought up.

They stayed that way for a while. Just staring and waiting for the other to back down, however neither of them did. What stopped them was a yawn that YN tried to keep at bay breaking to the surface. 

His entire demeanor shifted despite the fact that YN saw he was clearly trying to keep his composure. Once he got his expression under control he pointed towards the couch and took everything to the kitchen.

Part of YN wanted to remain where she was, but she also didn’t want to start something she couldn’t finish. And that yawn reminded her of how tired she was – at least physically. She could fight sleep for a while, but her body felt a little sore and heavy. There was no point in keeping the little game going, so she dragged herself up from the floor and headed off to the bathroom to pee real quick. When she returned Hoseok wasn’t back yet, so she crawled onto the couch and positioned herself on her side against the corner of it.

A few minutes passed before he returned and when he did she was laying there scrolling through her twitter feed. She didn’t even notice his presence until he fell onto the couch, putting almost all his body weight on her in the process.

It took a minute or two to get him off, and when he finally freed her he snatched her phone to place on the other side of him. She was ready to take it back, but like the first time they got on the couch he pulled her into his arms to cuddle and placed half her body on top of his.

“So, we have ten minutes left on this last episode and then Old Guard?” he asked.

YN nodded, not finding any reason to disagree with what he said. Nothing in her no longer wanted to go along with the plan, if anything she was more eager now that she was calmer and had food in her system.

“Okay,” he said.

With that he started the episode up again and YN focused on the screen. It wasn’t like anything too exciting was happening, but either way she didn’t want to miss it. 

Once the ten minutes was up they stared at each other for a little while and said nothing. After a while they both shrugged and Hoseok put on Old Guard. YN hyper focused on it, her excitement bubbling in her stomach. However, she found it hard to focus no matter how much she was enjoying it. Her mind kept drifting back to the last episode – or well, the whole season. She couldn’t wrap her mind around what it was, but she didn’t want to spend the whole time trying to figure it out.

She was ready to let it go until Hoseok sighed.

Tilting her head a little she looked up at him and was met with furrowed brows and a perplexed expression.

“Something wrong?” she asked. 

Hoseok seemed startled by her sudden question because his eyes went wide for a second before he pulled it together.

“No. Everything’s fine,” he said.

That was obviously false and YN planned to push him on it, but then he sighed again.

“Okay, maybe it’s not fine. Nothing is wrong, at least nothing bad. But is it bad that I don’t know how to feel about the show and the ending?”

YN shook her head, pleased to see he felt the same way. 

“Oh, my goodness no. I haven’t been able to focus because I couldn’t figure out if I loved it or thought it was meh or anything. Like I know it wasn’t bad, but what do I feel? What does that ending make me feel?”

His body visibly relaxed.

“Oh, thank goodness it wasn’t just me.”

And just like that their movie was forgotten and they discussed the anime in depth. All their thoughts on scenes and the questions they had while watching and still had after finishing it. They got so wrapped up in it that by the time they finished it was really late and they decided to try and watch the movie the next day.

That night they fell asleep wrapped up in each other, closer than they’d been on the couch. Which felt impossible. 

“That’s not allowed! The rules don’t allow you to stack cards. No. No!” Jimin yelled, trying to force Yoongi’s cards back into his hands.

Yoongi smirked and simply slapped them back on top of the pile.

“Yes, you can. Now draw sixteen, bitch!”

Jimin squirmed where he sat on the floor and whined some more.

“It is not. You can’t do that,” Jimin said.

Not uttering a word, Yoongi simply pointed towards YN who was laughing at Jimin’s crybaby antics to the point that tears were falling. Every time she tried to pull it together she looked at his face and saw how upset he was and started laughing again. It took about four attempts to get it together over a minute before she could speak.

“Thems the rules,” she said.

Of course, that didn’t please Jimin at all, but when he looked around for back up no one offered their support. After rolling his eyes so hard they should’ve gotten stuck, he grabbed his sixteen cards from the stack. And he called Yoongi every word in the book while doing it. 

From there the game progressed with more yelling about what wasn’t allowed and Beau and YN locked in an intense battle for who would get Uno first. They kept yelling at each other and glaring whenever one of them did something to screw over the other. When they got down to their last card it seemed like one of them would lunge at the other at any given moment.

As the end drew near, YN was focused on the cards being placed down and stopping Taehyung from leaning over to peek at her hand. She had one blue and one red draw two that she needed to throw down, she just needed the right colors. 

And the universe did not let her down. 

Taehyung dropped a blue card as he stacked it with a yellow and immediately she began to laugh. One of those kinda creepy ones that you would expect from a villain. Turning her head she stared at Beau – who was after her – while she placed the cards down.

“Uno. Uno out, bitch! And draw four,” she shouted.

Though she wanted to savor that moment of staring at Beau’s enraged face she knew that she was in danger. YN’s next move was to roll away from the group, which was perfect timing since Beau already swung to punch her in the arm. She didn’t stop until her body bumped into the couch and someone’s legs, which was far enough away to get Beau to let her be, though the glare he fixed her with could’ve killed her.

All YN could do was smile, wink, and then finger gun at him. Which made him throw an empty can of beer at her, but his aim was shit so it sailed past YN and hit the small end table next to the couch instead.

The animosity fizzled after that though because the round was not over and of course if Beau couldn’t be first he needed to be second. Which meant destroying everyone else with all the stacks, reverses, color changes he had on hand. It was fun to watch them all groan and curse as he just laid out the cards each turn.

YN watched them intently but after a few moments the legs she’d rolled into lightly kicked her. She turned her head to look up at an amused but pouting Hoseok.

“Hi there,” he said.

“Hi.”

“Would you prefer to come up here? It’s more comfortable.”

For a moment YN pursed her lips as if actually thinking it over like it was some major decision, but Hoseok scoffed and kicked her again.

“Fine, fine. If you insist,” she said as she crawled up onto the couch. 

She sat so that her legs were pulled under her and they had a few inches between them, but Hoseok didn’t approve. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer so that her leg touched his thigh and then he released her, but kept the arm wrapped loosely around her. 

“You have to stop manhandling me, dude. At least take me on a date first,” she teased.

Hoseok scoffed. “We’ve had like four dates. What do you mean? And did you just dude me?”

YN rolled her eyes. “We’ve hung out four times in an apartment that was either yours or mine. And two of those times we slept the entire time. And yes, I did. What about it?”

“You fell asleep first one of those times,” Hoseok said incredulously, but he didn’t stop there. “And don’t act like you didn’t call those dates and consider them valid since you were so busy. Also, how dare you dude me? I thought I was better than dude?” 

“Okay, fine you’re right. But you have not taken me out on a date that involves leaving the house. Also, why are you better then dude? Is there something else I should be calling you?” she asked.

There was silence for a few moments as Hoseok looked at her, eyes wide and mouth agape. He seemed appalled, but YN didn’t know which thing was the problem. With how dramatic he could be anything she said could have “offended” him.

After she poked him in the side a few times he broke his silence.

“Yes, actually. I am not a dude, I am a… I am your… I am…”

Not wanting to interfere, YN watched as he struggled to find the right word for whatever it was he was trying to say. It was amusing to watch how flustered he got as more time went by. At some point he started blushing from it, his ears and neck turning red. It was interesting to see his neck tattooed colored in because of how flustered he was.

And though patient YN decided after two minutes of stuttering and avoiding eye contact that she needed to move things along.

She leaned towards his ear and whispered. “You’re my what, Hobi? My friend? My lover? My boyfriend? My daddy? What is it?”

The way she spoke was so soft and almost innocent, which was intentional. YN loved messing with people in general, so Hoseok was in no way immune to her trying to rile him up. Not even a little bit.

However, while it usually took more to get a reaction out of him he was already reacting before she finished the word daddy. His fingers dug into her side and then suddenly he was tickling her. It was just one hand at first, but then his other joined in and YN started violently squirming in an attempt to get away. 

“Stop,” she squealed.

That obviously didn’t help her at all, if anything Hoseok became more brutal with his tickling. At some point he eased up, but it was only as he adjusted himself to be over her since she’d fallen to the side upon his first attack and her body was sprawled across most of the couch. 

It took who knows how long for him to stop tickling her and by then she was breathing so heavily that it was all she could hear. Though it surely didn’t stop what he whispered in her ear from breaking through.

“You don’t want to test your daddy right now. You will stop teasing me.”

The deepness of his voice excited her and part of her brain wanted her to consider where she was, but it was overshadowed by the part that was wrapped up in him or maybe that part of her simply didn’t care in that moment.

Slowly, she tilted her head back so she could look into his eyes. Hoseok’s soft expression was no more and in its place was a locked jaw and intense eyes. YN could feel her heart quicken and without thought her hands began moving on their own accord, one tangling in his hair.

She felt so drawn into him and bit her lower lip as she felt like her body was on fire. Desire came to the forefront and she could feel the arousal as it built up inside her. And with the way Hoseok’s lips turned up into a smirk it was clear he could tell how she felt; which only made her want it more. Want him more.

But again, they weren’t considering where they were.

One second Hoseok’s head was dipping down and the next it was whipping up, his lips forming a frown and his eyes fixated on something off the couch. Or someone.

“Ow. Why are you throwing things?” Hoseok said. 

Confused, YN glanced around until she noticed an empty beer can on the floor in front of the couch. And after seeing that she followed Hoseok’s gaze to Yoongi who stood a few feet away clearly unamused.

“Maybe because I don’t want you two going at it on my couch. Or maybe because I don’t want to see you going at it at all. You are not fucking in my presence,” Yoongi said.

YN rolled her eyes. 

“No one is fucking or going to fuck in your presence,” she groaned.

“Sure fucking looked like you were about to. And I would love for it to stop looking like that,” Yoongi retorted.

At that Hoseok moved and so did YN, choosing to sit up as she stared down the man she considered her older brother.

“Do I need to mention the love seat incident?” she asked.

At that him and Beau froze. They both averted their gaze, but YN could still see the blush work its way onto their faces.

“That wasn’t… definitely not the same,” Yoongi said.

“Ah yeah, very different. Worse actually. Because who the fuck has sex in a shared living space, let alone perio–”

“Nope. Shut it. Don’t you dare finish that sentence. We promised to never speak of it again,” Beau shouted, while looking like he was going to die of embarrassment.

“That’s what I thought,” YN said.

After that it was a bit awkward. Even YN – who’d been so confident seconds before – felt it. That and an intense heat, as if she weren’t in an air–conditioned space. 

She needed to get out of there, but not because of the awkwardness. Well, mostly not because of it.

“I feel hot enough to pass out. I’m going for a walk,” she said as she stood up.

“It’s late I’ll–” Yoongi and Hoseok started at the same time.

They stared at each other after, but it didn’t last long as Yoongi gestured for Hoseok.

“Uh, I’ll go with you,” Hoseok said.

Shrugging, YN grabbed her phone from the coffee table and headed towards the door. There she slipped on her shoes and grabbed one of the lighter jackets hanging on the coat rack. Nobody would be leaving so it didn’t matter whose she took.

Hoseok was right behind her and she waited for him to be ready before heading out. 

“Don’t have sex in public either,” Namjoon yelled after them.

YN didn’t miss a beat and shouted back. “Not everyone is like you and gets almost arrested for public indecency in the alley behind a cupcake shop. In broad daylight might I add.”

That left everyone laughing, even Hoseok. And without another word they were out of the apartment and in the elevator. 

They remained silent as they headed down and even once they were out of the building and on the street. 

Yoongi’s apartment wasn’t in the middle of the city, but it was near a popular area. Which meant that despite the lateness they had to maneuver around groups of people who walked or loitered about. Thankfully as they got a block or so away the number of people lessened. It didn’t mean they were completely alone, but they weren’t running into people every few seconds.

It was three blocks in when the silence between them was broken.

“Where are we going? If you wanted to walk we could’ve gone to the park, which is in the opposite direction,” Hoseok said. 

YN shook her head.

“I didn’t say I was only going on a walk. I do plan to go to the park, but there’s something else I want first. Though if all this walking isn’t what you want to do I could continue alone. I’ve done it a million times later than it is now.”

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Hoseok shake his head and huff.

“Nope. I said I’d come with you, so I’m following your lead. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

And to emphasize that point he reached over and grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers together. His grip was firm, but gentle enough that she didn’t feel the need to readjust or pull her hand away.

From there it didn’t take long for them to reach their destination, which was an ice cream shop. When Yoongi first moved apartments they’d all gone on a walk to get a look at the neighborhood and got lost along the way. It was dark out and most things were closed by the time they got back on track and they’d stumbled upon the place to see it still open. That’s when they learned that they could get ice cream until four in the morning no matter the day of the week.

It quickly became a favorite location of YN’s; she’d even come after work some days. Of course, it was out of the way in relation to her apartment, but that didn’t matter. Sometimes she just needed to sit in a nearly empty ice cream parlor and devour four scoops of ice cream covered in whipped cream to get through the day.

Hoseok appeared a little perplex as she turned, pushing the door to the place open but he didn’t utter a word. He simply watched her as she approached the counter with a bright smile on her face. 

“Minho!” she called out.

One of the workers behind the counter whipped around in surprise, but the moment his eyes landed on her he smiled. He held up a finger and then turned back towards what he was doing.

“What flavors are you thinking?” YN asked.

Hoseok didn’t respond right away, which made her turn her head to glance at him. However, instead of looking at her he was up close to the window taking in the ice cream. His eyes were wide as he perused the options. It was cute to see him slowly become more excited as he assessed everything.

She’d gotten so caught up in watching him that she didn’t notice Minho walked up until he cleared his throat. YN looked up to look at him and was met with him glancing between her to Hoseok and doing that stupid eye brow wiggle thing. It made her roll her eyes hard. 

“I thought you stopped working this shift? You didn’t take the test yet right?” she asked him.

Minho’s face went blank for a moment that made her worry, but then a smirk made its way onto his lips. He then proceeded to do that dorky little shoulder dance he only brought out when there was something to celebrate. 

YN was immediately filled with joy.

“You did? You passed? Oh my goodness. Fuck yes!” she squealed. 

That seemed to grab Hoseok’s attention as she noticed him looking at them a little confused. The urge to explain was there, but she was more so caught up in voicing her excitement for Minho.

“I told you you could do it. You were agonizing for nothing. That test is stressful enough without you adding your own overthinking stress,” she said, reaching over to high five him.

Minho rolled his eyes at that. “I know, I know. I psyched myself out. Now it’s done and the new issue is applying for schools. My score was great, but I’m still up against so many people.”

“And you will get into so many places you apply. You’re applying to us right?” she asked.

At first she thought he was going to tell her no, which would result in her being a little pissy with him, but not much seeing as it was his future.

“Of course, I am. You and Jin would kill me if I didn’t and with all the help you’ve both been for getting through undergrad there is no way I would pass up the chance for a residency there. Plus that internship I did means I qualify for more scholarships there. Two of which mean a full ride.”

“I knew I taught you well,” YN said, pride filling her. 

Once their little moment was over she turned to Hoseok still appeared confused, but also he seemed to be content. As if something about the interaction had brought him a little bit of happiness despite him being an on looker.

“Hoseok, this is Minho. He’s a pre–med student, soon to be med student. He interned with Jin and I for a while and we’ve kept an eye on him since. Minho this is Hoseok, he’s a friend and tattoo artist at Yoongi’s shop.”

Both men greeted each other politely.

“Sure, he’s a friend,” Minho mumbled, though not soft enough.

At that YN huffed and reached over to pop him, but of course he moved away before he could. He did the stupid eye bro wiggle again which antagonized her more, but instead of trying to get to him she calmed and reminded herself to remember it for next time she saw him not at work.

“Okay, now that you’re done trying to assault me. What can I get you guys? I assume YN wants vanilla, chocolate chip, moose tracks, and chocolate with enough whipped cream to root her teeth. But what can I get you Hoseok?” Minho asked.

“Uh, I can’t handle nearly as much sugar as her. And I hope I never have to. But… maybe two scoops of Superman ice cream. In a cup,” Hoseok said.

YN didn’t try to defend herself or punch his arm, just rolled her eyes and moved down since there was a line forming behind them and the other worker was already doing her sundae.

As Minho got Hoseok’s ready they talked a bit and appeared to hit it off, which pleased YN. She was glad that Minho would have someone else to talk to. The kid tended to keep to himself and his main friends were scattered around the country at different schools. It was hard not to worry about him even though she knew he was doing fine.

Once they got their ice cream and YN paid – despite earnest protest from Hoseok – she led them to a booth back in a corner. And the moment she plopped down a scoop of whipped cream was in her mouth. Of course, the ice cream should’ve been the focus since it would melt but it lasted a little longer in the cold shop so devouring half of the cream first wasn’t the end of the world.

As they ate there was small talk here and there. Talking about their days or whatever thing they were excited about that was coming up. It was consistent and chill, no pressure to have something uber interesting to say and no need to fill the silence when they both stopped talking to just eat their ice cream in peace.

And it felt nice for YN to be able to do that with someone outside of her normal circle of friends. Of course Hoseok was a part of that circle, but she’d never brought him there so it was new for her. 

New and nice. 

Well, the nice didn’t last for too long. 

Just as YN got to the last bit of her ice cream a few people entered the shop, though she paid them no mind. Not until she heard a voice that was painfully familiar. YN’s head snapped up and her eyes found the person with ease.

There were three people to be exact. A middle aged man was smiling down at a kid that looked around ten and a woman around the same age was looking at both of them with a wide smile on her face. They were in their own little world and though YN wanted to look away; she couldn’t for a moment or so. It hurt, but she couldn’t stop herself from looking. 

She needed to get the hell out of there. 

It took Hoseok grabbing her hand to get her focus back on him. His lips were turned down in a frown and his eyes flickered from her to the people she’d stared at. The questions were clearly present, but as he opened his mouth something in him shifted physically. Next thing YN knew he was smiling at her and standing up.

“Ready to go?” he asked.

Without another thought she nodded, not even bothering to finish her ice cream. She got up and threw the bowl away in the trash can behind their booth. Afterwards she grabbed Hoseok’s outstretched hand and they headed out. 

She was so close to getting away, but her waving bye to Minho screwed her over.

Out of interest, the older male turned their way and they locked eyes. His eyes widened and though YN tried to get herself to move quickly after it was too late. The man leaned down to whisper to the woman and she turned around faster than YN could look away. 

That was the moment YN felt like her chest would cave in. Like she would drop to her knees right then and there. It was as if all her work over the years had been for naught, though she knew that the real issue was the joy she saw on the woman’s face. The joy and the regret. As if she was allowed to feel either of those things when it came to YN.

It took a minute, but YN pulled it together and took the lead heading out of the shop. She kept her pace fast, but not so much that she appeared to be running away from anyone. Because even though she wanted to get away, there was no running from that woman. She didn’t hold that much power over her.

Once outside YN was sure everything was safe, but of course it wasn’t.

“YN!” the woman called out.

Ignoring her was the smart move, but YN stopped walking and turned to look at her. She stood just outside the door with the man and the boy next to her. She still wore that smile despite it being clear that YN was far from happy to see her.

“I thought that was you, baby. I wanted to say hi,” she said.

YN scoffed. “I am not your baby. And I don’t know how many times I can make it clear that I don’t want to say hi to you. I don’t want to speak to you. I don’t want to be in the same space as you. I want nothing to do with you. You do not know me, so please act like it.”

The smile dropped immediately and a frown formed on the man’s face.

“YN, we get that you’re upset, but that isn’t how you speak to your mo–” he said.

There was no way she was allowing him to finish that word.

“Going to stop you right there. She is not my mother and she made that perfectly clear for most of my life. Just because she had reality knocked into her later in life does not mean she gets to change anything. And you are not my father nor are you some sort of authority that gets a say in how I talk to her. Least of all when it comes to respect. Neither of you have respected me as a person, so you get none in return. Not one bit. This is not some little family reunion. None of you are my family. Unless you hold the name Min or are one of the few people who I talk to on the daily you are not my family. You will never be my family. I made that clear after you tried to backtrack. Now keep on doing what you did for over ten years of my life and pretend I don’t fucking exist.”

And with that YN turned on her heel and walked away, dragging Hoseok behind her. She didn’t turn around once, not even when she heard a broken voice calling out to her over and over again. 

That woman could sit with her sadness and guilt for her whole life. YN no longer cared to absolve her of it. 

So, with that behind her YN kept moving forward. Literally.

Once she’d started speed walking away she didn’t stop. Not until they were at the park two blocks away from Yoongi’s apartment in the other direction. Once there she located a bench and plopped down onto it, releasing Hoseok’s hand in the process.

Hoseok merely sat down next to her and didn’t say a word. She knew he had a million questions, but he hadn't bothered to ask them or to tell her to slow down the entire way there. He’d just gone with the flow and she felt bad.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“You have nothing to apologize for. You obviously wanted to get away from them and they didn’t take the hint,” he said.

She nodded because he wasn’t wrong, but then she was shaking her head.

“No. I almost dislocated your arm and dragged you for blocks without saying a word after blowing up on people in a very vague way. I owe you an explanation.”

“You don’t.”

She turned to look at him for the first time since they’d left the shop. He was staring at her with understanding and care, which only enforced what she was going to do.

“I may not need to, but I want to. It’s better that I vent it out instead of keeping it all in like this. I agree with my therapist when he says it’s better for me to tell the story when I feel like I need to get it out no matter how many times I’ve said it and no matter how much progress I’ve made. And seeing as you’re trying to stick around you would find out anyway,” she said.

Hoseok’s expression remained the same for a bit, but then he smiled and nodded at her. His hand reached over to grab hers, giving it a light squeeze.

Taking a deep breath YN prepared herself to get into it. To get sad, angry, and numb all over again. She was better than she used to be, but that didn’t stop the emotions from hitting hard each and every time.

“Okay, so you’ve been privy to the dynamic of me in Yoongi. How we seem like siblings who spent their entire lives together and how his parents treat me as if I am their own. It’s because I basically am. I’m obviously a Black woman in the middle of South Korea who fits so well it’s weird. It’s because my father was stationed here at one point after he married my mom and when it was time for him to retire they wanted to stay here. But they had to go back to the US first. While there they had me and though that meant moving was a little harder that didn’t stop them. So, when I was two we moved here. We lived in a house not far from Yoon’s. And though we didn’t know each other for the first few years here he found me stumbling home crying one day and basically took me in. I was only a year younger than him, so we kept close and he treated me as if we were the same age. His family would watch me sometimes when my parents were busy and eventually it was like my second home. Everything was okay.

“But a few weeks after my tenth birthday my dad got sick and it was so sudden. So quick. One moment he was healthy and the next he couldn’t leave the hospital bed or breathe without help. His health deteriorated so quickly and within two weeks were in the VA hospital saying our last goodbyes. He was gone not too long after I’d said I love you. It was just so much and ten–year–old me was stronger and much more grounded then you’d expect of a kid at that age, but that shit fucking hurt. Hurt to watch him leave us. Hurt to watch my mother break down as she lost her husband. Hurt to watch them put him in the ground.”

At some point YN’s breathing increased and her chest tightened. It reached a point where she had to pause and breathe, like truly focus on the action to stop herself from getting too worked up. Hoseok pulled her closer and squeezed her hand and she could see he was going to say something, but she shook her head and took a deep breath before continuing.

“That hurt, but things got better. Things always pick up after something like that. Everything was back to normal, well as normal as could be with a death in the family. We all were good for a while, but sometime between eleven and twelve something in my mother shifted. I’d known a good bit of my life that she hadn’t wanted kids so soon and I was a surprise. She held no hatred, but it was what it was. But as time went on I could feel the resentment. As she tried to move on with her life in the romance department or just meeting new friends I could tell she just saw me as an obstacle. The love was there, but it was so different then before.

“At some point she sent me to the Min’s house more often and wouldn’t come home for days. The self–doubt on if she wanted me anymore was so strong and just as I thought I was wrong; I was proven right. She’d found another retired military man that she was heavily interested in, but he didn’t have kids and didn’t really want them. Which was fine, but he’d voiced not wanting anything to do with children and my mother couldn’t even muster the energy to say fuck him and find someone else.

“No, she told him she had no kid and that went on for months until I came home one day for something and he was there. He didn’t react horribly, but he was obviously displeased with me. Well, no displeasure isn’t the right word. Maybe disgust was it. But either way that’s all it took before my mother was packing up her things and mine. She was moving in with him and I was going to be sent to a foster care center that dealt with international kids.”

A bitter laugh escaped her as she said it. The memory of how her mother acted like it was natural and treated her as if she was lovingly taking her child on some sort of adventure instead of giving her up. YN felt fully immersed in her own rage and anguish, but not enough that she didn’t notice how Hoseok’s jaw locked and the anger in his eyes. She wanted to stop after that, but she was on a roll.

“Anyway, I stayed there for a week. Again Black girl in Korea where even in an international foster care home I’m the only one. It was horrible. I hated every second of it and I don’t know if it was the bullying or pity that made it so bad. But that Monday came and I was finally sent back to school, where Yoongi met me at the front gates. He didn’t know why I’d vanished and when I told him we skipped school and he took me back to his house. He told his mom and she told us to stay at the house. She returned several hours later with all my stuff and told me I was staying there now. That that was my home now and she'd given my mother a good cussing out and demanded some form of custody. 

“So, from then on the Min’s were my family. They didn’t have a whole lot, but they took care of me. And my mother had the decency to provide money for them taking care of me. Helped feed and clothe me. And at some point I felt okay with it all, but that feeling of unworthiness doesn’t just leave because new people tell you you are worthy and that they love you. I spent so much time worried they’d get rid of me at some point that I was scared to even do something slightly wrong. But eventually Yoongi stopped it for the most part. 

“And when he admitted he needed therapy once we got to college I realized I did too and we took the plunge together. Went to talk out our shit. Got better. Didn’t fix everything, but we just wanted better. Better was all we could aspire for and got damn it felt so fucking good to be better. To feel better. To feel like we could live and thrive.”

YN hadn’t realized tears began to fall until Hoseok wiped them from her cheeks. She blew out a burst of air and tried to pull it together.

“We can stop there. You’ve said so much and I don’t want you to keep going and getting yourself even more worked up. You don’t have to do this, baby,” he said.

Of course, she shook her head again. Stopping would give her time to calm down, but she didn’t want to emotionally decompress and then get worked up again. It was best to get it out all at once.

“I’m almost done,” she said.

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Yup.”

“Okay.”

That time she squeezed his hand to gain strength to continue.

“I went to school for nursing first. I knew I wanted to be a doctor, but I thought becoming a nurse first would help out. It would mean I got hands on while in medical school and where I work now offered to pay for me if I worked there and went to school. So by the time I was doing my residency I was so immersed that I was doing more than a lot of the other residents. And that meant that I worked more intimately with patients. 

“I was on my pediatric rotation when she came in with a little boy with a high fever. They had her step out so when I arrived she wasn’t in the room. I was told to comfort the kid and get him treated. So, I did that. And about twenty minutes in she appeared. I was turned around so she couldn’t see my face, but she thanked me and I recognized the voice. When I turned the smile she’d been wearing was gone and replaced with shock, then anger. She was angry with me. As if I’d done anything wrong. And not being an idiot I put two and two together. I requested to be switched out because of our relationship despite having not seen her in like ten years or so. But instead of just letting me be so we could continue that way, she felt the need to pull me to the side to tell me about myself. How I was wrong for not just doing my job seeing as we had no relationship. How just because we’d run into each other there was nothing that was going to change. How I shouldn’t get my hopes up. How she was living such a great life with her husband.”

“She fucking what?” Hoseok shouted.

“Yup. And I told her that I didn’t give a fuck despite the pain I felt inside as I was being rejected again. I told her it didn’t matter and I wanted nothing to do with her or her family. And then I walked away from her. Then four years later we ran into each other and she had this guilt on her face. She cornered me to talk, to apologize, to say how her son needed his big sister, to say how sorry her husband was. And by then I was so fed up that I told her to fuck off. That I wanted nothing to do with any of that. Then I went to an emergency therapy session to talk that through and get validation on my right to not want to forgive them or deal with my half–sibling. And here we are now. Years later and she still tries. And sometimes I think maybe I should talk to them, but I can’t.”

Without missing a beat Hoseok let go of her hand and used his hands to cup her face so he could make her look at him. His eyes were intense, but kind and he looked at her with sadness, but not pity.

“And you don’t have to. They messed up, not you. You hold the right to choose how you proceed. And if that means not talking to her son then that’s fine. You don’t owe that kid your time when he puts you in proximity to people who hurt you. Especially people who should have been there for you like they were for him. You are doing wonderfully, YN. You are living a life you want and working on your issues. You are being the best you can and that is what matters. You are what matters,” he said. 

His words came down on her hard and before she knew it she launched herself forward into him. Hoseok moved his arms so they wrapped around her and he let her cry into his chest. He simply whispered soft words of encouragement and validation. 

It felt so good. Like she’d lifted a weight off. It didn’t take everything away, but something about it made things feel a little less trash. A little less hopeless. 

It’s what sharing did for her and she was so happy to have someone else to share stuff with. 

They stayed like that for a while until they realized two and a half hours had passed and everyone would come looking for them if they didn’t go back. So, after ensuring that YN was good they walked back to the apartment, hand and hand with laughter flowing between them.

When they’d finally managed to go on a date it was about a month after the incident with YN’s mother. Hoseok had so many appointments and events to go to that for once it wasn’t her schedule in the way. But when he was finally free of work he asked her to accompany him out to an amusement park on a Saturday evening. YN loved them so she didn’t hesitate in saying yes.

Hoseok picked her up after he finished his last session of the day. And he looked way too attractive. His black, ripped skinny jeans gave her the perfect view of his tanned firm thighs. And he’d opted for a short sleeve shirt, which meant that the sleeves on his arms were on display. Also, though YN hated to admit it, the backwards snapback he had on had the weirdest effect on her. Usually she rolled her eyes at people wearing them because they were often try hard, wannabe fuck boys, but the fuck boy aesthetic fit Hoseok well. 

Too well.

However, YN wasn’t allowed to linger on that long. For some reason Hoseok felt the need to rush and practically dragged her down to his car the moment she had her shoes on. And once in the car he seemed very focused on driving so she didn’t try to maintain conversation, just stared out of the window and took the time to relax.

Moments of peace were rare and she’d take them whenever she could.

By the time they arrived at the amusement park Hoseok’s serious focus appeared to dissolve into nervous tics. He chewed on his lip aggressively and wouldn’t stop tapping his finger on the steering wheel. Even when he pulled into a spot and turned off the engine he still stayed that way, not glancing YN’s way at all.

“Hobi,” YN said while placing a hand on his thigh.

It took a moment but when he finally did look her way he put on a smile, though it seemed a little forced. And the nervousness laced into his expression didn’t falter at all.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

There was a head shake and a shrug from him, which was clearly a lie and YN planned to call him on it until he had a change of heart.

“I’m feeling unnecessarily nervous. It’s normal, the idea of roller coasters do that to me and I get on them anyway. But for some reason it’s worse this time,” he said.

YN opened her mouth to offer something else but was cut off.

“And don’t say we can do something else. I asked you to come here because I wanted to come and know you love amusement parks. It was my decision and I’m sticking to it.”

Again, YN prepared to reassure him that somewhere else was fine, but then he narrowed his eyes at her and she shut up. Even using her hand to mime zipping her mouth shut, locking it, and throwing away the key. 

That got him to laugh and that’s all she needed.

After that they got out of the car and headed towards the entrance. Hoseok paid for them to get in and YN having spent time with him knew not to try and fight him on it. He was the only one besides Yoongi and Seokjin who could get her to put her money away, despite the ongoing war of paying within the friend group.

From there they entered the park which had many people walking around, but not the usual crowd. She chalked it up to people wanting to visit the fair that set up shop about twenty minutes away from the park and had a limited opening. It was also an option that Hoseok had mentioned, but YN knew all too well that fairs were never as exciting as someone thought they were. They’d be a smaller version of the amusement park where you hoped to find something new to do and you would find the same games or rides as the park, at a more expensive price. It just wasn’t worth it.

“So, where do you want to go first?” Hoseok asked.

That pulled YN from her people watching and forced her to look at the rides and games. She wanted to playthings, but she also knew that if they won anything it would have to be carried around the park until they left. So, games were a no. Also, she wanted to get on more calm rides, because she loved them as much as the high and fast ones, but that felt like a good wind down. 

“How about that?” she said while pointing to the biggest ride in the park off in the distance. 

Hoseok looked at her incredulously. Poor man looked scared out of his mind and it was kind of adorable.

“What? Why? Can’t we work our way up to that? There is an adorable merry go round that I’m just dying to see you on,” he said. 

More like pleaded.

“The merry go round is for later. I want to work my way down, not up. But if you’re uncomfortable we can start on something else or not even ride it.”

No matter how much YN wanted to go on the ride she wouldn’t force him. The date was supposed to be fun and she couldn’t live with herself if she made Hoseok do anything that he didn’t want to do.

When a minute passed and he said nothing she knew the answer.

“We can go on the swinging ship instead, Hobi. It’s a good starter ride,” she said.

Hoseok nodded, but the moment she started walking he shook it.

“No,” he said, taking a deep break before speaking again. “We can go on the big one. I’m just not used to jumping right on it and if I’m honest I usually avoid it unless Jungkook drags me on, but I can do it. It’s fine.”

“Hoseok…”

The fear slipped from Hoseok’s expression as he turned to cup YN’s face, a smile forming on his lips. 

“It’s fine. I promise. Though you might have to hold my hand the whole way there,” he said. 

YN rolled her eyes at his cheesiness but held out her hand for him to take anyway. And once their fingers were laced together Hoseok started running. There was a struggle to keep up and she cursed him multiple times, but she kept going until they reached the line. 

Of course it was long and she was ready to wait, but then Hoseok steered her towards a different line which was much shorter. She looked at him with a raised brow, but all he did was smirk and flashed her the two fast passes he had. YN’s eyes went wide because she hadn’t even heard him ask for those. But nonetheless she was excited and expressed that by leaning closer and pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

Instead of averting his gaze like he often did Hoseok merely leaned in to press a kiss to her cheek in return. Which brought a wide smile to YN’s lips and that only seemed to make Hoseok’s grow wider.

They stayed like that – like the dorks they were – until they realized they were next in the line. And that info brough Hoseok’s nerves back in full force. YN did as best she could keeping him calm with sweet words and several hand squeezes. She worried it wasn’t enough as they were strapped into the ride and Hoseok started biting his lip again. The voice in the back of her head told her to tell the person in charge that they were getting off, but then she watched as Hoseok took a long deep breath and the tension melted from his face. He smiled and turned to wink at her as the ride started moving.

That reassured her and since the ride moved she focused on what was in front of her. She felt her stomach dip immediately and squeezed her thighs together best she could as they approached the drop. The discomfort before things got started was her least favorite part, but the feeling she got after made it worth it. 

And it was very worth it.

The ride dropped and she felt like she was in another world as it twisted, turned, rose, and fell again. It excited her and she was so happy that she started laughing, which surely made for a horrible picture but she didn’t care.

By the end of the ride she was more than eager to get on another and though frazzled, Hoseok also felt that way. So, as soon as their stuff was collected from the bin they were on their way. 

They zoomed to every ride they could get to and luck just happened to be on their side almost every time. So, few people used the fast pass lane and that meant they were on a new one minutes after leaving the others. And they used that to ensure they got on as many as possible. The only time they stopped was to get little snacks here and there, both worried that too much would trigger nausea and/or vomiting. 

It was just pure fun. The type that YN didn’t always have time for. And the type that Hoseok didn’t always look for. 

For about four hours they hopped around from ride to ride, but at some point the excitement and adrenaline wore them down.

“Okay. I think I’m getting too old to be getting on these rides all day,” Hoseok said as they finished one of those rise slowly and drop quickly rides. 

He sounded out of breath and YN felt out of breath. There was only so much that a body could take, even if they were technically just sitting there and going along with how things moved. At some point you’d zap all your energy or get your adrenaline too high too often, and that was not good at all.

“Same. Want to switch to games?” she asked.

“Yes, please,” he said. 

And just like that they laced their fingers together and walked towards the front of the park. Most, if not all, of the games were up front. Of course, it was just a ploy to get children excited immediately and thus make parents spend more money sooner. Also, to remind them and the kids to try for one of the prizes as they left. It worked out for them well enough. YN remembered coming as a kid and begging Mama Min to let her spend her allowance on trying for a large stuffed teddy bear. Which she failed to do, only for Yoongi to try once and win it for her. She’d never been so grateful and salty in her life.

But regardless of that she usually did the games because she liked the competition and had mastered a few. So even if she failed for what she really wanted, she got something. And even if she didn’t the world wouldn’t end because she wasn’t stupid enough to spend a whole lot of money on the games. 

Thirteen–year–old her would’ve been shocked.

“How about the basketball one?” Hoseok offered.

That brought a smile to her face.

“Yes.”

Hoseok led them that way and before he could stop her YN paid for three rounds. He of course was displeased but didn’t utter a word about it. In fact, his body language shifted and he released her hand and grabbed a ball from his side of the stand.

“I can’t beat Yoongi, but I should be able to beat you. One of you siblings needs to be taken down a peg,” he muttered.

The urge to cackle at that was strong, but YN maintained an aura of nonchalance. Getting cocky or showing too much confidence would make him nervous and she wanted to kick his ass when he thought he had it in the bag.

After she grabbed her own ball the stand worker started up the timer and they got to work. YN didn’t glance Hoseok’s way once, just kept shooting the balls into the hoop and sinking most of them. Even when the new rounds started she continued to remain focused. It wasn’t until Hoseok missed his last ball that she turned his way, smiling and winking before she shot her ball and it sunk in.

Nothing brought her joy like seeing the defeat and incredulous look on Hoseok’s face after she’d done it. The laughter that fell from her lips was involuntary, but she made no attempt to stop herself. It was just too funny.

“Ho… how are you so good at this?” he asked, practically shrieking.

It took a minute, but YN pulled herself together.

“Who do you think was forced to play with Yoongi so he could practice when he didn’t have team practice? He dragged me everywhere, most times against my will. So, I got decent at it. And then we would come do these games and learned how much force and what angle worked best to force it through. You never stood a chance, love,” she said.

At that Hoseok merely pouted and YN turned to request the large bunny that hung close to the top. She thanked the worker and then turned back to Hoseok.

“I thought you weren’t fond of bunnies?” Hoseok asked.

YN shrugged. “It’s for Kookie, he loves them and he was eyeing this the last time we came here. We had to leave quickly so we didn’t have time to stop though.”

“Oh.”

All YN did was nod and then stare at Hoseok waiting for him to say something else. The pout was still on his lips, but there was also a slight twitch that showed that he fought off a smile. It took a moment for him to notice her looking at him though and then he was shaking his head and focusing on her.

“You want to do a few more? It’s getting late and you know that means a flood of teenagers are about to come,” he said.

“Sure, a few more times of me beating you won’t hurt,” she teased while nudging him.

“Oh, so that’s how it is? It’s on,” he said.

Then just like with the rides they found themselves immersed in games. There were only a few people playing them so they got to play almost immediately. It was a war of games and who could manage to pay first. And though Hoseok did well to beat her with paying, he didn’t fare so well with the games themselves.

After they finished with the water squirting game YN had won all but one game. Besides the bunny she’d given her prizes to kids who’d been nearby or watched their competitions. Hoseok won a baseball related one and had his own snake, which he told YN was for her since she was one. Lying to him about not being good at games and then beating him by a long shot. 

The entire walk to the car he pouted, not uttering a single word. Even when they put their prizes in the trunk and got in he didn’t speak. It wasn’t until he’d started the car, put it in reverse so he could pull out, and then put it back in park did he speak.

“How could you beat me in almost everything?” he whined. 

If YN didn’t find his pouting so adorable she’d be annoyed with him, but there was no way she could resist that face. Even the whining was endearing. The man had her close to whipped.

But despite how much she relished in it she still rolled her eyes at him.

“I spent a lot of time playing games like that. After a while even the ones you suck at become easier. It’s not because you're bad at it, I’m just really good,” she said.

That didn’t stop the whining and at some point she simply unbuckled herself so she could lean over the center console and shut him up with her lips. Hoseok gave in quickly, his hand slipping to cup her face as he pressed closer. And the longer their lips pressed together the more worked up it made YN. At some point she nipped at his lower lip with her teeth causing his lips to part and her tongue the chance to slip in. As their tongues intertwined she pressed closer to him, almost sliding into his lap. And she would have done that if the sound of a car horn hadn’t startled them into pulling apart.

YN’s head whipped around immediately, but she couldn’t find where it came from. Which she was grateful for since she couldn’t deal with the embarrassment of someone watching them.

She slid back into her seat and readjusted her shirt, which had risen as their kiss had grown more aggressive. Once presentable she turned to Hoseok again, who stared at her with an intense look in his eyes and while chewing on his lower lip. Which immediately made her want to kiss him again because they were so soft and nice against hers.

Then a lightbulb moment happened.

Leaning over the center console again she stopped and watched as he tried to close the space but pulled away a little. When she did there was some rumbling sound he made, but no attempt to move close again. 

“How about I make it up to you for beating you?”

If she assumed that his expression couldn’t get any more intense, any more lust filled, she was wrong. Hoseok leaned closer to her as if to kiss her, but then he didn’t.

“You can definitely do that,” he whispered.

And just like that he was reaching over to re–buckled her seat belt and pulled out of the parking lot. As he drove YN turned her head so she could smile without him seeing, because if she learned anything from the first and only time they’d slept together it was that any perceived cockiness from her meant more teasing and she didn’t want that. 

The car ride back to his place was silent, but their lack of interaction didn’t dim the tension in the car. Especially with how much of it radiated from Hoseok. When YN would glance his way his face was serious and his hands gripped the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles were white. And if he happened to glance her way when she looked at him he gave that megawatt smile that sent a tingle down her spine. 

By the time they reached the parking lot YN was sure that there was a damp spot on her panties and feared that any time spent unable to do anything would cause it to grow. Maybe even expand so much that the shorts she wore were affected.

Thankfully, Hoseok wasted no time. He got out so fast that he was at her door before she could fully open it and took her hand to lead her inside. Not a word was uttered as he led her through the lobby to the elevator and even in there he was silent. It made YN antsy, but also excited. They’d avoided sex every time they hung out, despite a few times where it seemed like they’d give in.

Once they were inside of Hoseok’s apartment everything shifted. The tension was still there, but it dimmed. Hoseok had been in front of her the whole time and by the time she’d kicked off her shoes he’d finally turned to her was a calm, soft look.

“What’s wro–” she started.

“You’re sure about this, right? And I don’t mean as in if you’re sure about having sex, but how we’re going to do this? It’s my default and if you want to do it another way we can. But I need to know what you want before I proceed.”

It was almost like the little rambling speech he gave before they fucked the first time and she still thought it was sweet. That despite her reassurances and him knowing she was into it that he’d constantly make sure before he proceeded.

“Seeing as part of the reason I made sure to kick your ass in every game was to get you riled up, yes I’m sure. I appreciate you asking though,” she said.

That first sentence was all that was needed to flip his switch so he went back to the lust driven man from before. 

“Oh, so you thought it would be fun to play games?” he asked, but YN knew it was rhetorical so she remained silent.

When he didn’t get a response from her Hoseok smiled and motioned her forward. And without a thought she moved towards him, though she walked slower than she usually did. Which was something that Hoseok seemed to notice but didn’t comment on. 

YN stopped with a few inches between them, far enough that they weren’t exactly in each other’s faces but she could feel Hoseok’s breath on her. She’d contemplated staying back a little farther but had to remind herself that she’d messed with him enough to get herself in trouble and didn’t want to make it worse.

At least not this time.

But she didn’t have to worry about displeasing him for long, because the moment she stopped his hands cupped her face and his lips smashed into hers. He just barely missed knocking their heads together, but that thought was gone the more she got into the kiss. Just like in the car it was passionate and needy. Hoseok attacked her lips with such vigor that she couldn’t help the excitement and arousal that bubbled inside of her. She was beyond eager to continue just kissing him despite the need for more though. The idea of pulling away didn’t make her happy.

Which meant Hoseok did just that as she nipped at his lower lip. A whine escaped her because of it, but he merely laughed at her. He then grabbed her hand and led her out of the mini hallway and towards his bedroom. Part of her wanted to say the couch was closer, but his bed was bigger and far more comfortable.

The moment they entered the room he released her hand and went to sit on the edge of the bed. He motioned her forward and she went, but when he patted his thigh she hesitated. It was only for a second, but he noticed it.

“I’m not dealing with you talking about being too heavy to sit on my lap. Daddy’s thigh. Now,” he said. 

The fact that he remembered after one instance of her saying that in a non–sexual scenario made her cheeks heat up. Not enough to be seen, but enough for her to be slightly more embarrassed by knowing she was blushing.

Not wanting to prolong anything she carefully sat down on his left thigh and much to her pleasure he reconnected their lips. Her arms moved to wrap around his neck as she pressed closed to him, her breasts pushed hard against his chest. That time she wasted no time trying to get him to part his lips and at first he ignored her, but then he bit down on her lip in a way that was almost painful but was right in the threshold of what she took pleasure in. His tongue slipped in and immediately they were tangled together.

So, wrapped up in the kiss YN didn’t really notice Hoseok’s hands move to her hips and guide her up and down his thigh. Well that and the thickness of her shorts. But when she did begin to feel the friction against her covered crotch a moan slipped from her mouth immediately, though it was muffled by Hoseok’s lips.

At that point she didn’t hesitate in helping him out – though it also helped her. She pressed down on his thigh and moved her hips along with his hands, though she tried to move faster as the need for more pleasure increased, but of course Hoseok corrected her form. He used one of his hands to smack her ass and she knew to stop. Though him spanking her only made her much hornier.

Eventually he moved her faster and their lips parted, but she was so wrapped up in the pleasure of riding his thigh that it didn’t matter. As her hips picked up speed she threw her head back and a chorus of moans escaped her. 

She wanted more. Needed more. 

Hoseok watched her for a while, saw her pleasuring herself and then his lips mouth was on her neck. That sparked something more in her as they trailed down her neck, sucking marks into her skin as they got lower and lower. When they reached the top of her breasts the sounds she made stuttered a little. The skin there grew overly sensitive in sexual situations and that was definitely the case then. Every touch made her feel electrified and thus explained the whimpers that poured out of her.

And she didn’t even have time to feel embarrassed. 

No, YN’s focus was solely on her own high and with how little action she’d gotten over the last few months she got close quickly. And she thought she was a few more strokes away from reaching that, until she was suddenly on her back being pressed into the bed. 

So wrapped up in herself YN failed to notice Hoseok leverage her weight to shift their positions. Instead of on his lap he was between her legs. The only constant was his thigh and the fact that he hadn’t stopped rubbing it against her. 

“You were getting off so well on my thigh, baby,” he said. 

YN nodded, her mind drifting to the way his leg was pressed firmly against her. With him more in control there was more pressure and it made the friction much more enjoyable.

“You want to cum on my thigh? Want me to finish you off this way?”

Again, YN nodded, though it was more frantic. She was so close and she needed a little more to push her over the edge, but then he stopped. A grunt of disapproval escaped her as she felt the climax fade away slowly.

Grabbing her face, Hoseok made her look at him. She was forced to see his smirking face as she felt her high slip away from her. A whimper slipped from her lips and she pouted.

“Nope, don’t give me that. You know you have to use your words, baby. Answer my question,” he said.

“Yes, I want to get off this way,” she practically shouted.

Though seemingly displeased by her loudness Hoseok didn’t waste another second. Instead of his thigh though, he used his knee to press against her. It could provide more pressure and once he started moving it her stomach tangled in notes quickly. Her hands gripped the cover for strength and she arched her back a little hoping to get closer. 

At some point the feeling of his knee hurt a little, but she was so close that she didn’t care. The pleasure outweighed the pain – and even added to it. 

But despite her proximity to reaching her climax she felt frustrated. It felt so far away and she was whining more than moaning at that point. She thought she’d never get there and then suddenly her body tensed, then relaxed. With a jolt she came, her mouth opened wide with not a sound coming out as she rode the wave of it.

There wasn’t much time for her to recover though, because Hoseok already had her shorts unbuckled and pulled them down along with her panties. The cool air made her squirm as it brushed against her sensitive clit. She whined, which made Hoseok pause with a brow raised.

“Done after one orgasm?” he teased.

YN huffed. “Never.”

That made Hoseok smile wider as he threw her clothes to the side and lowered himself so his body hovered over hers. She watched him as his head tilted down to press a kiss to her forehead and then he just continued lower. Her nose, lips, neck, collarbone, her chest. He only paused once he got to the top of her breasts, his eyes flickering up towards her. She knew that look from the first time and immediately narrowed her eyes at him. All he did in return was smirk and then move his hands to the bottom of her shirt instead of just tearing the flimsy material.

The process of getting it and her bra off was fast and before she could throw the material his lips were around her right nipple. He suckled on it and allowed his tongue to teasingly circle the bud. It hardened faster than when exposed to cool air. And despite his complete focus on that one he didn’t leave the left one out. Hoseok rubbed the peak between his fingers and occasionally pulled on it. And at some point he switched nipples giving each the same treatment the other had received.

Somewhere along the way YN’s eyes fluttered closed as she unraveled under his mouth. It aroused her; her body ready for another climax. And though she knew it was possible with him just doing that she wanted something more.

Though she knew what it could earn her YN began squirming underneath him. Her movements were small at first, but the more they went ignored the more she moved. Until finally Hoseok bit down on her left nipple and she released an involuntary moan, that sounded slightly like a scream.

He pressed a soft kiss to it after that and then pulled away from her chest, brow raised as he looked down at her.

“Impatient, are we?” 

“A little,” YN whispered.

And for a moment that made the expression on his face shift. The smile on his lips was genuine and he even reached up to softly caress her cheek. But it truly only lasted for a moment before he was back to staring her down with a mischievous look.

“Rushing me will cost you, baby. But don’t worry you’ll enjoy it,” he said with a wink.

That sparked a little fear into YN, but also made her eagerly anticipate what was to come. And Hoseok was nice enough to not leave her waiting for too long.

Just as he had been before he pressed kisses down her body. The ones across her stomach tickled, but she tried her best to fight the giggles that wanted to escape. She focused on the way he got slower as he got closer to between her legs. How his eyes flickered up towards her every so often as he did it. She thought he would tease her by placing kisses against her thighs or just close enough to her clit without touching it, but he did no such thing.

The moment Hoseok’s head was between her legs his lips suckled on her clit, his fingers spreading her open for him. A gasp sounded from her at the abrupt action, the feeling of his warm mouth heightening the pleasure of his touch. The way he sucked on it with enough force that it stimulated her enough without extra interaction. 

But then he abruptly stopped.

 In place of his lips was his thumb, rubbing slow circles against her clit. His mouth ventured lower, his tongue lapping at the cum from her previous climax. He made a purring sound as he licked her clean and they were almost drowned out by the noises YN was making. She hadn’t realized she missed being eaten out, especially by Hoseok, until he was doing it and she didn’t want him to stop. Surely, she could come several times just from his mouth.

But of course just as she grew comfortable with that he switched it up on her. His tongue still ran along her folds, but he used his hand not against her clit to slip a finger inside of her. Which caused her hips to jolt and her to arch to be closer to him. That made him laugh and the vibrations from it heightened the pleasure she felt and made her arch even more. 

However, Hoseok put that to a stop quickly. 

Because of her neediness he stopped playing with her clit to use that arm to push her hips down. She whined at the loss and was going to vocally object, but then the finger inside of her began moving. It was a brisk back and forth motion, but then he curled it upwards and again her hips jolted. There was no chance for her to move closer though because he maintained pressure to keep her down.

After a bit of going on like that Hoseok pulled away to look up at her. His lips formed a pout, but she knew that it was just to tease her.

“You’re squirming so much, love. Is it because you want more?” he asked.

YN caught herself about to nod and cleared her throat before speaking. Though it didn’t help the voice crack.

“Yes.”

Instead of continuing from there Hoseok stared at her and for several seconds she was confused, but then she got it.

“Yes, Daddy,” she whispered.

“Good girl.”

Those were his final words before his mouth reattached to her clit and he added a second finger. His pace before had been moderate, but that time he moved his fingers at a briskly and slammed them into her as if they were his dick. 

Naturally, there were no complaints from her. With her lip between her teeth she propped herself up on her elbows to get a better view of him. The attention to her pussy was one thing but watching him do it was another. Seeing the way his mouth attacked her clit made her even wetter and she felt the coil in her stomach tightening. 

At one point he hit just the right spot with his fingers that it had her screaming out for him. She even almost lost balance and barely caught herself before she was flat on her back again.

“More. Please more,” she begged.

Despite not using his title Hoseok didn’t deny her of her request. He slid both fingers out and then slipped in three instead. It was a bit of a stretch, but she didn’t mind at all. And a stretch is what she’d need before she could take him. 

And of course, the thought of taking him only brought her more pleasure.

She reached a point where she knew she was moments away from cumming again and she needed it bad. So, she laid back again and used her hands to play with her nipples. Pinching and twisting them to respark their sensitivity. All while watching Hoseok between her legs.

Who knows how long it took, but unlike her first orgasm she felt that one coming. Her body tensed, her hips bucking enough that Hoseok lost his grip and couldn’t stop her from arching up. 

Not that he really tried.

While she came he was still licking her and his fingers were still driving into her. They didn’t slow or falter for a second. And he kept going even after she’d finished. Which meant that he was working on her sensitive pussy. She always needed a minute between orgasms, but Hoseok wouldn’t let up.

Whimpers escaped her lips from the discomfort, but then Hoseok made eye contact. He held her gaze in a way that ensured she couldn’t look away and she watched as he pulled his fingers out of her and licked each one clean. A moan got stuck in her throat as she watched him, her lips aching to be the ones around his fingers instead. 

The show didn’t stop there though. Once he’d licked clean Hoseok lowered his head again and YN watched him lick her thoroughly. She could feel his tongue on every part of her pussy and with the way her body reacted it felt like she was dealing with orgasm aftershocks. But nothing compared to the moment when he wrapped his arms around her thighs and yanked her forward before tongue fucking her.

“Fuck,” she whispered repeatedly.

Her eyes clamped shut, but Hoseok dug his fingers into her thigh and she reopened them. His eyes were still on her as he continued fucking her that way and they entranced her again. All she wanted to do was watch him. 

Then, in an embarrassing amount of time, she found her pussy spasming and herself cumming again. It was strong and a little painful, but nothing that she couldn’t handle. Until of course it didn’t end as it usually did. She laid there for a while and was unsure how much time passed before her body truly relaxed. Her eyes had glossed over and by the time she came to fully Hoseok was hovering over her with a smile but worry in his eyes.

She took a deep breath and then spoke. “I’m good.”

A sigh escaped him and she assumed it was one of relief. 

“Good. But maybe I should give you a break for a bit. I have something else you can do,” he said.

Though a tad drained the idea of him having something for her to do made her perk up. She really hoped it was what she thought it was. 

After pressing a quick kiss to her lips Hoseok climbed off the bed and though confused for a moment soon enough she heard things dropping onto the floor and the sound of a zipper. Following a few deep breaths she sat up fully and watched as Hoseok pushed down his jeans and boxers. 

And just like that she was drooling. 

His dick was hard and a bit red from lack of attention. It pressed up against his stomach and she could see how wide it was. Hoseok was about average size in length, but in girth he definitely surpassed her past sexual partners and the few pornstars she frequently watched if she was failing to cum on her own. 

Him inside her was a nice stretch. That included her mouth and pussy. 

So, the moment she had it within reach she got on her hands and knees to crawl towards him. She stopped at the edge of the bed and though she wanted to grab it immediately she didn’t. Her head tilted back a little and she looked up at him with a soft pout upon her lips.

Of course Hoseok knew what she wanted, but naturally he wouldn’t just give it to her.

“Words,” he said. 

She chose her words carefully. “Can I touch you?”

That stupid mischievous grin made an appearance again and she was sure he was going to deny her or find some way to twist her words. Hoseok was like a genie and you often had to be specific.

But he surprised her.

“Go ahead. I’ll save that for another time. Right now I just want to feel that sweet little mouth of yours.”

YN didn’t need to be told twice. Her hand wrapped around him as she used her other arm to prop her up a little. Not bothering with teasing her mouth opened and she took in a quarter of his dick. She lightly sucked on the tip, coating it with her saliva. That didn’t last for long because soon enough she was releasing the head and running her tongue along him. There was no guarantee that she’d be able to take him fully and she needed something to coat him while she simultaneously jerked him off.

Though her focus was his dick it didn’t mean she left his balls hanging. After she’d hit base her head lowered and she took it all on in her mouth, sucking it hard. It’s what finally got a response out of Hoseok, who tended to try and keep his cool.

And the grunting noise he made only incentivized her. She released it from her mouth and her tongue flicked across both of them. Her mouth occasionally enclosing around one of them.

It didn’t last long because one tug of her braid and she was kissing up his cock until she reached the tip. Her eyes angled up to make eye contact with Hoseok as her lips parted and she took him in. That time she took him in about halfway before raising her head nearly off him. She maintained eye contact as her head bobbed and she got into a rhythm and then she broke it to take him down farther.

Her right hand firmly on the lower half of his dick moved as she moved her mouth. They moved in perfect unison and when her mouth tightened around him, so did her hand. YN worked herself up to a good pace that way, reaching a point where she was moving in a way that made it easier for her to take more of him. It stretched her cheeks a fair amount, but what was a little discomfort when she got to choke on his dick.

And choke she did.

Once she got comfortable she got more adventurous. Doing her best to keep her mouth wide and relaxed she took in most of him, leaving and inch or two untouched. But after several attempts she finally conquered all of it, taking him down her throat and holding it before coming back up for air. She did that as many times as she could.

Hoseok seemed to appreciate it if the sounds he made were any indication. Or the way he fisted her hair.

It was clear that he was close and goodness did YN want him to cum in her mouth. She ached for him to climax as if it were her doing it and with how worked up she was it would definitely lead to hers sooner rather than later.

To move things along her hand moved down to massage his poor neglected balls. She’d been so focused on getting him into her mouth she’d forgotten to give them attention. So, she carefully rubbed them around in her hand, squeezing every so often. 

Response from him was positive and she could feel that he was ready to let go.

“Stop. I am not cumming in your mouth. Not this time,” he said through gritted teeth.

Despite that YN didn’t stop. In fact, she picked up speed and deep throated him while squeezing his balls and despite his efforts to pull her off it didn’t happen in time. His release came out in spurts and shot down her throat. As it did she slowly pulled him out of her mouth, though she didn’t fully release him until she was sure he was done. 

If she was going to get in trouble she was going to make sure she got every drop of it.

The moment she pulled away though she was suddenly being pushed back on the bed. Before she could even respond Hoseok was over her and though his eyes appeared blown out from the orgasm there was also some anger radiating off him.

“What did I tell you to do? Stop. And yet you can’t seem to follow instructions. This is the third time you’ve gotten daddy riled up baby and I’ve been nice but that has to end,” he said.

His voice was so soft with its false sense of kindness that if she hadn’t known what she did pissed him off she’d think it wouldn’t be that bad. But Hoseok was a consistent and forward person, he’d made his rules and intentions clear upon the first meeting and she knew they hadn’t changed. Not unless she wanted something different and even then they wouldn’t budge all that much.

Knowing Hoseok expected no response from her she remained silent, which didn’t seem to make him upset or pleased which she preferred. Honestly, she preferred him to say something, anything else. But he remained hovered over her, his smile growing in a way that almost made him appear a bit scary, which made her worry a little bit about what would come.

Punishment could be anything.

Then after making her squirm under his gaze Hoseok rolled off her, laying on his side beside her instead. He didn’t utter any commands, just used his own hands to spread her legs farther. It gave him the perfect view of her glistening pussy. A mix of her last orgasm and her arousal from sucking his dick. 

Next thing she knew his hand made contact in a swift slapping motion against her pussy and she jumped a little. The pain was sudden and slowly dwindled to nothingness. Not that he really allowed her to experience that relief before his hand made contact again. Each strike was harder then the last and they were so out of rhythm that YN could never truly prepare for the next one. 

Despite that it didn’t stop or halt her arousal, in fact it merely ramped up. If she couldn’t feel how wet she was, surely she could hear it every time he spanked her. The noise was loud and clear.

“So, now your compliant. Not fighting me much or putting up a fuss. Just sitting here and taking it. You must really be enjoying yourself,” Hoseok said just as he made his hardest impact.

A tingle ran down her spine and YN couldn’t be sure if it was from the pain or the pleasure. Maybe a mix of both. Or just his words.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. I wouldn’t want you to not have some fun. And with how fucking soaked you are, I should be able to do this with ease.”

Before she could process what he meant two of his fingers slipped inside of her. There was no buildup of the pace or the intensity, he simply moved them as quickly as he could and with every push in his palm slapped against her clit. It was overwhelming to go from one intense form of stimulation to the other so quickly and without warning. Her body felt like it vibrated as she endured it.

Very quickly it became too much, because despite Hoseok not having a lot of leverage from his position he still knew how to do it just right. How to bend and twist his fingers just enough to make penetration feel like enough to make her reach climax. 

And she almost reached it, her walls tighten around his fingers and she felt ready to go over the edge, but then he stopped.

Bewildered YN turned her head to look at him. Hoseok just stared at her with a smile. It’s when she realized what her punishment truly was. The spanking wasn’t enough, he was going to deny her orgasm. 

She wanted to scream.

“Open,” he said.

Though she didn’t know why he wanted her to do that she still complied. Her mouth opened as wide as it could get and then he placed the fingers that had been inside her between her lips. And without having to be told her mouth enclosed around them, sucking them clean.

“You thought you were going to get to cum again didn’t you? How greedy of you, baby. You can’t think I’d let you off that easily?”

Not being able to speak, but also knowing no response could make things worse YN nodded. Her movements were slow and she watched his expression closely to see how he’d react. The small genuine smile that graced his lips for a moment let her know that she’d done the right thing.

After she’d thoroughly licked his fingers clean he pulled them from her mouth and they went back down between her legs. They didn’t slip in immediately though, instead he used them to rub circles and figure eights on her clit. It was sensitive from his previous actions, so every touch made her hips buck forward. She couldn’t keep still and Hoseok seemed to be amused by it. 

“So sensitive and responsive. You’d think that you’d be running away from me and yet you press forward wanting more. So eager for daddy, love?” he asked.

“Yes,” YN said, though it came out hoarse so she repeated it.

Hoseok hummed in response, his fingers moved lower and then he slid three inside of her. She’d cum enough and was wet enough that they entered with ease. That didn’t mean she didn’t feel the stretch they caused, which was so delicious that she purred in response to it.

The pace that time was slow. Painstakingly slow. YN wasn’t sure if it was better or worse, but at least it was something. And with her impending orgasm having not faded quickly the buildup happened faster. Though she ached to tease her clit to move things along but knowing Hoseok that would make it worse.

And she feared that he’d snatch it away again.

While she languished in the feel of his fingers her head fell back against the bed and she moaned out. Her hands longed for something to do, so she slowly creeped them up to her breasts. When Hoseok caught wind of the movement he stared at her for a moment before nodding. Not needing to be told twice her fingers lightly flitted over her nipples. They hadn’t been played with in a while but were still rock hard and responsive to her touch. As she carefully tweaked and pulled at them a chill ran through her.

It felt so close and she needed it so bad. She pinched harder hoping to ignite more pleasure in herself and push things along, which helped greatly. Her eyes fluttered closed as she felt her walls pulsate and she hit the edge, but again it was snatched from her.

“Nope. Eyes open baby,” Hoseok said and though she couldn’t see him she could hear the amusement in his voice.

Her eyes flew open and she cried out, her body shaking a little from the feeling of being denied yet again. She felt so frustrated and eventually let out a scream to make that clear.

But that didn’t seem to faze Hoseok one bit. The little shit just laid there and smiled down at her. 

“Poor baby. You can’t hide those pretty eyes from me. You have to watch while I do this. Can you do that?” he asked.

Though her want to be compliant waned she nodded and mumbled a yes.

Apparently, it was enough for Hoseok because he slid his finger back inside of her and continued his painfully slow fingering. 

That made YN more frustrated than she could comprehend and she was eager to defy him, but she thought of something better. Turning her head she looked at Hoseok whose eyes were glued between her legs, but eventually met her own. She chewed on her lower lip and stared into his eyes, whimpering and moaning whenever he hit just the right spot. No matter how much she wanted to close her eyes in pleasure she resisted and maintained that contact. 

It wasn’t instantaneous, but there was a shift in Hoseok. He went from stoic and mischievous to the lust filled eyes he’d had in the car on the way there. His fingers picked up the pace – which she wasn’t sure was intentional – and he watched closely as she continued to voice sounds of pleasure.

Something in him was cracking.

Not seeing that as enough of a change in him YN reached over to cup the back of his head, her own moving closer to press a kiss against his lips. It was gentle, but passionate and she knew that her neediness was clear. After she pulled away, but only enough that she could see his eyes and he happened to hit just the right spot to set her off.

“Please, Daddy. Please. I need to cum so bad,” she whispered.

There was no reaction for a few seconds, but then his fingers pulled out and she thought she’d failed. That wasn’t the case though.

“On your hands and knees, baby. The only way you’re cumming again is on my cock,” he said.

YN was sure she had never moved so fast in her life, because within three seconds she’d flipped on her stomach and pushed herself up. Not only was a climax imminent, but he was also doing her preferred position. The way her stomach flipped didn’t even feel like it relayed how eager and happy she was. 

The moment she was in position Hoseok’s hand was on her hip and she felt his dick rub against her folds. It would have annoyed her minutes before, but at that moment all she could think about was it being inside of her. 

“Condom?” he asked.

Her response was immediate. 

“No. Goodness no. I just need you in me.”

Laughter escaped Hoseok at that and then he didn’t hesitate to push inside. Aware his thickness he didn’t slide in all at once and entered her a few inches at a time. Not that YN would’ve minded him doing that.

Once he made that final inch he paused. 

“You good, baby?” he asked.

Despite barely being adjusted to the stretch she nodded frantically.

“For the love of all that is, yes. Please move. I need you to move,” she cried out.

And that was all he needed to hear.

Hands gripping her waist, Hoseok pulled out and then pushed back in. His pace was moderate and slowly sped up. Just like with his fingers he slammed into her as hard as he could with the kind of leverage he had and YN was thankful for it.

If she had been vocal before it was ten times that with his dick inside of her. Her own moans were cut off by each other when he hit the right spot, especially when he continuously found it. She could feel herself build up again and she would be damned if she lost out one more time.

“Faster. More, please.”

The words were soft, but with the change up in stroke she was sure he heard her. And from the way he also released a series of moans it was clear the shift was needed for both. That both of them were on the brink.

One stroke in particular sent a wave of pleasure through her and she could feel that she was close. 

“Fuck. Close. So, fucking close,” she screamed.

In an instant Hoseok’s arm was around her waist and he was pulling her up to press against his chest. YN was shocked, but she went with it since it hadn’t dulled her own pleasure and she felt so fucking full of him.

“Play with your clit for me, love,” Hoseok whispered in her ear.

Her hand shot down and she used two fingers to press against it. They moved at the same pace that he fucked her in and with how sensitive it still was her hips bucked each time she applied pressure. But goodness did it do the trick.

There was a momentary freeze up and she felt herself unravel a half a second before she did.

“I’m cum…”

The force of it rendered her speechless. Even the moans she’d been letting out ceased, her mouth agape as she came. And it didn’t end quickly nor was it her usual minimal mess climax. She could feel herself squirt around his dick, though it didn’t fully process; too busy experiencing the euphoric moment.

When she finished her body fell forward and Hoseok released his grip, allowing her to fall onto her hands as he continued to fuck into her. His pace picked up, but his strokes were less uniform and a bit all over the place. Soon enough he was cumming inside of her.

“Fuck!” he yelled.

What happened after that was a mystery to YN because she spaced out hard as she came down from her high and regained control of her breathing. When she finally did tune back into reality she was on her back and Hoseok – who was also breathing heavy – was smiling down at her.

“Making you wait wasn’t so bad now was it?” he joked.

Naturally, YN’s hand reached out to swat at him, but she was too tired and missed the mark completely. Hoseok laughed at her and then leaned down for a quick kiss before getting off the bed.

“I’ll be right back,” he said and then went to the ensuite.

Still not fully recovered, YN took a moment to get her breathing back to normal completely. It took a minute, but she did it. Though the way her pussy pulsated proved to be a little uncomfortable and altered her focus a few times.

By the time she was able to sit up Hoseok returned. He grabbed her hand and helped her off the bed, seeing her legs buckle he wrapped his arm around her waist and led her to the bathroom. Once inside he helped her over to the toilet so she could pee, and then into the bath he’d drawn. 

The hot water was too much at first, but after a few seconds and slowly immersing herself she adjusted to it. And it felt so good against her skin. 

After ensuring she was comfortable Hoseok went to leave, but YN reached out and grabbed his hand. A pout on her lips.

“Where are you going? Are you not going to join me?” she asked.

Hoseok leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“I'll be back in a minute. I just need to take care of the sheets so we can lay down after,” he said.

That had her blushing and dropping his hand immediately. 

Laughter followed Hoseok as he made his exit to do what he needed, but YN didn’t take it to her. Instead she focused on relaxing in the tub. Her eyes fluttered shut and her body sank lower. She’d gotten so calm and comfortable that she didn’t notice him come back until he moved her body forward so he could slip behind her.

Despite the change it didn’t affect her comfort, it enhanced it more than anything. Her eyes didn’t even open.

At first at least.

Seconds in Hoseok began trailing kisses along her collar. The sudden touch surprised her, despite already being wrapped up in him. But it only lasted for a moment before they fluttered shut again, a content sigh leaving her.

They sat there in silence for a while, but Hoseok had something to say.

“So, is the first date the right time to ask you to be my girlfriend?” 

YN scoffed. “We both know this is like date twenty.”

“Oh, so you acknowledge that our hang outs were dates. How convenient.”

“Oh, hush,” she said as she pinched his thigh.

Of course, he whined about that, but stopped quickly. 

“So does that mean it isn’t and you will be my girlfriend?” 

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

“What do you mean oh,” she said, turning to see his face.

“I thought you’d make me beg.”

“Okay, never mind. I take it back, I won’t be your girlfriend.”

“No, no… No take backs.”

And for the rest of the bath time they bickered, even as they finally made the attempt to clean themselves and not just sit. It was safe to say they were nearly prunes when they finally got out. 

Psst... if you like this pairing I’ll be following their story years after this moment for my Bangtan Boardwalk collab with @BangtanHQ in late August. It’ll be called ‘With All My Heart.’

[shadowturtlesstuff]

Can we have one where Cressworth adopt a child? 🥺❤

okay so, little late but I am very slow at things and I also forgot that I wrote this. It's them deciding to adopt instead of them adopting and its loosely based off paper rings by Taylor Swift.

I pierced through the skin of the body below me, the coldness seeping into me and I fought the chill that threatened to escape. We were in Thomas’s private laboratory and I ignored the urge to clean it. I have been here before, cut open a body here before and it still shocked me at how different it felt. Thomas was normally a well put together person and this laboratory did not reflect that sentiment. Yet it also seemed to fit perfectly. Thomas let out a low whistle as I carved the body. We needed to find the cause of death, as well as take out the kidney. The familiarity of this settles in me and we work together to take out the organ and write our notes for uncle to look through later.

Once we finish and clean all our equipment and place the sheet back over the body I follow Thomas upstairs. We sit in the kitchen, and I watch as Thomas makes us coco. My favorite thing about his flat in London is that there are no servants, it is just us. In this small flat in perfect bliss. We can sit in our bloodied aprons, or talk about bodies without having to stop so we don't upset our staff. Thomas can wrap his arms around me and kiss me all night right in the kitchen if he wished. We were not in our aprons, we left them in the laboratory, but I did feel like having Thomas's arms around me. Perhaps I will tell him to forgo the coco and for us to just go straight to bed. Before I could even say anything he placed a mug in front of me and a kiss atop of my head.

“Tired my love?” he asks as he takes a seat next to me. His hand finds my knee and he rubs small circles over my scar whilst he takes a sip of his drink. I hum a response as I drink my own drink, the warmth of it sweeping through me and replacing the horrible coldness that still lingered. We sit for a few minutes in silence, perfectly content. We have done this many times since being married and being able to live together. My own hand finds his, the one rested my knee and I take it and trace my own circles. It had been a very long day of dealing with people. Specifically obnoxious imbeciles of the Scotland yard. We had another murder on our hands, middle class man who was poisoned. Yet the Scotland yard wanted nothing to do with it despite it being their job to deal with murders. I hated how those men reacted to things, to me. Thomas could walk in there and tell them the murderer with zero evidence and they believe him but I give one theory and they mock me. We did not need the Scotland yard but uncle says we must keep a somewhat healthy relationship with them if we want to investigate for ourselves. Thomas sets his now empty mug down and gives me a warm smile and it relieves some of the tension I have been holding onto. I finish my own drink and place it down, giving him my own tired smile. Thomas takes both mugs and moves them to be washed later on and then returns to me by wrapping his arms around my waist and enveloping me in his warmth.

I lean into his touch and he rests his head on my shoulder. He kisses my temple and murmurs “I'm proud of you.” then he moves further down kissing my cheek. “Today lasted forever, I just wished we remained in bed if I knew that was going to be the case.'' I roll my eyes at his dramatics but don't dispute him. Especially as his lips find mine when I twist to look at him. He presses a light kiss but I deepen it, curling my hands in his hair. He pulls back before I am ready to let go and I let him know that with a whine.

“We will get through to them, it may take time but we will.” I sigh against his lips. I hope he is right.

I bury my head in his shoulder and he tightens his grip so he is hugging me. I fit perfectly in his arms and it takes away any other thought I had. All the fears leave me as I gain strength from the love his hug gives me.

“I’m afraid I have some bad news,my love.” Thomas says as he lets go of me to sit back on his seat. Concern floods me and I take Thomas's hand to steady me. Steady us it seems, as he lets out a long breath. “You needn't worry to much, it isn't necessarily that bad but well-”

“Thomas what is wrong?”

“I went to the doctors some time last week, and a day prior to today, and truly it is nothing at all to be concerned about but it appears I may not, we may not be able to have children.” The words hit me and I tried to search for a reaction. We haven't discussed children but I think we both wanted them. I would've loved to see Thomas holding our child in his arms, and would've loved to do the same. But if it was not possible-

“That means I get you all to myself then?” A half joke, half question and full realization. He lets out a small laugh, this has been eating him up for a while now so I squeeze his hands and he has to look away from me because tears are forming. I can feel my own throat tightening. “My love, look at me.” I move so I'm standing at his side and I wait till he drags his eyes to me. I take his face in mine as he quietly apologizes to me.

“Wadsworth,” my family name, the one he used to use to tease and flirt with me, i haven't heard him say it in so long, “i know that it would have meant the world; i wanted-” he stops himself as he cries trying to compose himself. The sight makes me burst.

“Thomas, it will be okay,” I repeated his words earlier with a kiss to his temple. “We needn't have children to be happy. I have you already and sir Issac and I am sure we will find ways around it.” He is still shaking his head and I have begun crying with him. We moved until I sat on his lap, his head buried into my shoulder, fingers digging into my back. I do the same. We hold each other for a while, Thomas's hand moving so it brushes against my scar on my leg, memories of the Eurita surly flooding his mind adding to his guilt.

“I am so sorry about everything Wadsworth.”

“It is Cresswell. Do not apologize to your wife when there is seldom a reason. I do not ever hold you responsible for my mistakes on the Eurita and I will never hold you responsible for this either. It is out of your control, my love, please do not harbor any guilt.”

“I know, I know,” his voice is hoarse and rough as his eyes meet mine, his brown eyes filled with pain, “you would have been the perfect mother.”

I smile brightly. He would've been the perfect father. I have had dreams of him playing with our children, with sir Isaac as I watched the love shine in his eyes. They'd adore him. I pictured them sitting by the fire as he taught them how to read; then we'd put them to bed and he'd hold me tightly in bed, telling me about his day with the children even though I was there.

“You would have been amazing too, if you spoil them half as much as you do the cat or me then they'd absolutely adore you.” silent tears stream down his face at the thought of what we could have. I wipe them away, caressing his cheek lightly as I place a kiss to his forehead, cheek and then his lips. We linger, mere inches away from each other and I smile at my husband. A man full of love when the world seems to want to take it from him. He takes my hand and smiles back.

“I love you. Thank you for understanding” he breathes and I feel it wash over me and attach to my bones.

“I love you too, Cresswell. I will stand by you no matter the complications, even if you commit some crime and we must perform a daring escape.” that earns a light laugh from him.

“You are truly the best thing in my life. I- Audrey Rose, I may never truly understand why you put up with me, but I will be forever grateful.”

“Does it help if I tell you that you treat me like your equal, like you promised at our wedding, and that you have shown me everyday how good it feels to be loved and to love, and that you are the best thing in my life too.” he searches my face for his usual tells in people, in whether they are being honest with him, but he find none. He presses a kiss to my lips, one that tells me all his worries and tells me how much he loves me. I kiss him back just as hard as he deepens the kiss and wraps his arms around me.

I pull back from his, determined to cheer him up before we retire to bed. “This means we should get sir Isaac a friend. Thomas there is also adoption we could consider. Not right away, but one day, perhaps when we aren't befriending killers every other week, we could adopt a child.” I had only just remembered adoption. It may be our only way to raise a child but I would still happily do it. We could still experience the joys of raising a child even if it is not our own. We would make it a part of this family. As we had made each other family.

“I'd like that, one day, i still have that crime to commit and we still need to perform that daring act.” We laugh, the tension in us both relaxed as I begin to stand up and stretch my leg slightly. Thomas offers me my cane that was by him and I take it, tracing over the engravings at the top. Over the years Thomas has brought me many canes but I seem to always use the first one he gave me, the one with his family crest. The one he put his heart into knowing I very may well run off with the Eurtia. I smile at the memory of him giving this to me.

“My love, I know we live a life of luxury and I spoil you often, and that our official wedding was fancy but not of that matters, I’d marry you with paper rings, I would happily live without all this so long as I had you.”

“As would I, my love.”

@fangirling-again @kittycat2187 @goatahoan @city-of-fae @the-hoofflepooff @ink-insomnia @purplecreatorhorsewagon @boredbookwormgirl @goddess-of-writing-wars @lovecakeandmore @yikesitsmaddie @loveyatopluto @bookscressworth @androgynousdeputylawyershoe @fandomtakeover @throneoftsc

[tomuraxashes]

Found you (part 2)

—————————————-

The morning came quickly, and the LoV members were ready for the mission. At first, it all went so smoothly.

Kurogiri teleported Dabi and Twice there, Twice successfully made some clones who copied some employees (who got kicked out by Dabi), so they could find their target easily.

The problematic part stated with the stealing. That particular room when the secret file was kept, was obviously under a high security level, so they needed to immobilise the guards at first. The system of course indicated so they had not much time for the stealing.

The file was in a safe so at first they needed to open it. It wasn't a big problem cuz one of Twice's clones already find the key, but while they were busy with the opening, the heroes got into the room as well.

So then got Dabi in charge, to fight with them while Twice can get the folder.

It was okay, but suddenly there were too much heroes out of blue, which wasn't calculated in the plan. Even with some of Twice's clones of Dabi werent enough to fight with them all. They needed to be fast and retreat as quickly as they could.

When they had the file, Kurogiri came and teleported them back home.

The only problem was, Dabi got seriously injured.

- We need to take him to the doctors! - Toga insisted almost in panic - he will die!

- And what after? They will put him in jail! - Magne argued with her.

- Well, still better to be in prison then be dead - Compress stated - we would still have a chance to rescue him, but only if he is alive.

After a while, almost the whole League agreed that they need to go to the hospital. No matter what it takes, the priority is now Dabi's life. Even if they will be caught as well, and put in a jail - while taking him to the hospital.

They were about to decide who should bring Dabi to the hospital - and taking the risk to be captured as well, when Shigaraki suddenly interrupted their plannings.

- No one will go nowhere. Take Dabi in my room now, and that's all.

- How could you say this, boss? Don't you see if he doesn't get a professional medical treatment he could die easily? - Toga almost shouted, and the rest of the League seemed to share her opinion now.

- We already decided, we will take him to the doctors even if it costs out freedom. The remaining of us will make a plan to free us, but it doesn't matter now, Dabi is barely alive, don't you see? - she continued, while almost crying.

- I said, you don't go anywhere. Just take Dabi to my room and don't fucking piss me off - Tomura was loosing his calmness - and that's not a request but a fucking order.

Toga wanted to disagree again, but then Magne caught her arms as a warning. He is the boss, that's right. They cannot act on their own, without his permission. That would be a treason - however, they all were thinking about the same thing.

Maybe Tomura wants to protect them but what it costs? They cannot let their friend die just because Shigaraki is somehow too narrow minded. They need to convince him, or if it cannot work, then they have to unite - and go against the order.

Meanwhile this silent vow was made between the members, they took Dabi into the boss's room, as he ordered.

The flame villain was barely conscious, and he really needed to be healed.

Now, all the members of the League were standing in Shigaraki's room. They were ready even to commit a treason - (well not Kurogiri but the others) - they decided they won't let Dabi die, no matter what.

They were now waiting- what is Shigaraki up to now. Why he wanted Dabi to be in his room?

- Leave us alone - that was all they got.

If they weren't too hectic, they would see how Tomura is not exactly all right. But they were only busy with Dabi now. They were almost ready to disobey their boss, when Kurogiri stopped their intentions

- Before doing any recklessness, please trust Shigaraki Tomura.

The League was now merely confused. They always trusted him and obeyed him, but now they didn't know his plans and the matter was no less than Dabi's death..

- Dont be afraid I will cure him. Just get out! - that was all they finally got from their leader.

.

His own subordinates were looking at him with a heavy gaze. They made it clear - they are ready to disobey, they are ready to risk their lives in order to save Dabi's.

But he won't allow it. He is the fucking leader, and if someone has to, than he will be the one who will put his life into a risk.

He can't figure it out but he do care. He won't let them down. And mostly - he won't let Dabi down.

No one's gonna die from his subordinates.

So in order to achieve this goal, he will use his other quirk. Which he hadn't use for years. Not since his family died...

This would be the first time he's gonna use it on somebody else than his mom, sister .. and Touya.

.

"Cure?" - Dabi barely heard his boss talking to the others. He saw them leaving the room, now there were only two of them.

Dabi was slightly breathing. He felt his body overheated and even his old injuries got worse. It was so fucking painful for him - even the breathing was somehow difficult. He didn't really wanted to be taken to the hospital but he wanted to endure the pain. His heart almost melted when he heard the League members determined to saving him. So they really consider him as a family?

And now - what are Shigaraki's plans? Will he kill him? With his given quirk Dabi couldn't really imagine anything else. Decay is not the one for healing people...

He was almost satisfied with the thought of death, when he suddenly felt some relieving feelings.

He didn't open his eyes yet, but he felt his breathing is normal again, and his burnt scars are hurting less and less.

When he finally opened his eyes, he saw Shigaraki's hand over him and he felt the energies coming trough his skin and curing his injuries.

- What the.. - he mumbled quite surprisedly.

- Dont embarrass me! - he heard his boss a little anxiously.

- I'm not doing anything, damn just lying there as half dead, what's your problem?

- Just .. don't stare at me. I'm quite anxious anyways.

- Wow, chill.. but what exactly are you doing? How am I feeling so much better?

- If it's obvious, I'm trying to cure you. But I haven't done it for years, so please.. just shut up and close your eyes.

- Mkay - Dabi agreed - but wait. No. How are you doing this? I thought your quirk is decay, and now you are .. I just don't understand.

- My quirk is decay, but you know, there are people born with two quirks as well. So am I, I do have an other quirk, which is something like a reincarnation, and I'm trying to use it, so if you'd let me I would continue it - Tomura was a little bit pissed off now.

It seemed like it took Dabi some sec to get the information, because he was silent for a bit, but not for too long.

- So.. besides the destruction, you are able to reincarnate... are you a fucking Hindu god crossover or what?

-What - the bluenette was totally lost for now on.

- You know, the Trimurti? You are basically a Brahma x Shiva - Dabi said mischievously.

- I don't really believe in any gods but okay, think whatever you want. Just be silent for a bit and let me heal you finally!

Dabi somehow managed to not to speak, even if his mind was full of questions and conspiracy now, he let his boss doing his thing, what was.. really comfortable. The warmth coming from his hands were truly magical, he felt all his injuries healing - they felt like they never existed before.

That feeling was somehow familiar...

Tomura was almost done, when he noticed Dabi has a short but deep cut on his face. There was a liquid dripping out of it, and Tomura was certain it was a poison.

- Oh fuck... he mumbled.

- Sup? - Dabi asked immediately.

- You really got it rough - Tomura said a little worried - it seems to me that someone cut you with a poisoned blade. And they call themselves as "heroes", fucking ridiculous...

- Oh, I guess that was a guy with the ninja stuff - Dabi answered loosely - ladys and gens, just top hero things.

- Stop messing around, I need to deal with that - Shigaraki mumbled - the hell is that so small, I almost can't see a thing.

- Maybe just put the hand off and you will see? - Dabi suggested

- You... - Shigaraki started angrily ... but after thinking it over, the burnt man had a point. With "father" on his face he can't see the details and now he has to be punctual. He promised himself, he will save Dabi. - Ok. But fucking close your eyes and if you dare to open them I swear I will decay you at that very second.

- As you wish, my king - Dabi smiled

- Shut up!

Tomura - after seeing Dabi really closed his eyes and he is not watching him in secret, carefully took "Father" off of his face, and leaned closer to Dabis face. Firstly he carefully took off the poison and then he healed the cut itself. At the end, it looked like it was never there.

He did it, actually he did it well - he thought. He didn't exactly trust himself that much, he wasn't sure about the results, but here it was. Everything all right. So he can still do it.

He can save the people he want to.

He can save his League.

He can save Dabi..

At that very moment he suddenly felt a warm kiss on his cheek. He was so distracted he didn't notice Dabi is now all right, with his eyes opened - looking at him with an admired gaze.

Tomura instantly jumped off his bed and he felt he will die now. His words abandoned him, nothing came up his mind - he had no clue what to say.

This fucking bastard - not only he saw his face, he even dared to kiss him? How? Why?

He wanted to disintegrate him at least, and shouting his head off, but before he could do that, he felt two strong arms hugging him tightly, and when he looked up to the other man, those beautiful turquoise eyes just kept him as he was their prisoner.

- What.. are you thinking you are doing? - Tomura said but rather shyly than angrily. He wanted to free himself from the embrace of the other man, but his body wasn't obeying. He just stood there helplessly.

- I just want to thank you properly - the flame villain smiled adorably - for saving my life, and treating my injuries, well, again.

- What do you mean by again? - Tomura was quite confused right now.

But instead of an answer, he now got a longer but soft kiss on his lips.

- You know - Dabi finally spoke up - Deep down I always knew you didn't die, and that I will find you.

It's so wonderful I finally found you, Tenko!

[huearmy]

Life is Beautiful - I

Summary: You are a glass half full person, your life motto is "Life is too short to... Insert something and anything here". During your whole life you wanted something more, and even not knowing what it is, you put yourself to find out and get it, experiencing everything  brilliant that the world offers - within the measure of what is safe, of course. The curious thing is that your way of living ended up rousing  the interest of two vampires. One who sees beauty in everything and  loves to exist, currently working with suicide prevention; and another one who no longer sees grace in things, in that boring immortality that never ends, and only complains about the Netflix catalog all the time.

Pairing: Jimin x reader / Taehyung x reader.

Genre: fluff, angst, future smut (very soft, ok?)...

Words:  7509.

Rating: +18

Warnings: As much as my writing is soft and light, and as these are not the main topic of the story, treated in a non-descriptive way, there are sensitive themes from the beginning of the first chapter to the end of the fic that can trigger sensitive people, like depression, suicide, addictions in general - Jimin literally works at a suicide prevention center here. SO PLEASE! Read responsibly, my intention when dealing with topics like this is always 1) dealing with them in myself, as a way of putting out part of my own healing process 2) generating identification in other people, so they can go through the difficult time a little less alone. THIS IS A STORY THAT SEES THE WORLD WITH POSITIVITY.

Chapter II Chapter III .

After some centuries of not living, all vampires go through a kind of midlife crisis in which everything loses its grace and eternity becomes endless boredom. Nothing new happens, humans are born, sometimes they are relevant to world history, they become vampire food or they die dull. Vampires do not need to sleep or use the bathroom, nor to feed more than once a month, so the days are long, and often lonely, which leads many of them to stand still without moving, looking at nothing until their thirst quits, forcing them to go after a pulsating neck. Many go through this phase as serial killers, with killing as their only source of pleasure, others prefer to hibernate in some dark place or tomb, because false death is more interesting than false life. Some never get past the phase.

Jimin is not like that. With almost a thousand years of existence he is totally in love with life. Every day when the sun rises and the sunlight forces him to stay indoors so as not to burst into flames, he spends his hours with a smile on his face, engaging in small banal hobbies, such as gardening or online courses at distance - after almost a decade of doing this, Jimin already has fifty-two certificates in different areas, and he is pretty pride of it. When night comes and he can go out and see the world it’s even more interesting, because humans ’nightlife isn’t as hectic as daytime, so those who live in those dark hours are different. There are those who do wrong things and commit crimes, those who have double lives or who keep secrets, there are people working to protect and save, like doctors and police, there are night guards and twenty-four hours convenience store attendants, groups of friends who spend the night partying until dawn, and those who feel lonely in their empty apartments unable to sleep... And this is the part that he likes the most: people.

He likes to meet random people in the empty metro, buy a drink for a girl who doesn't take her eyes off him and then dance with her, strike up a conversation with a homeless man under a marquee because he knows the guy must be lonely. Watching and learning about other lives keeps him alive, more than the blood he needs to drink.

He likes to get temporary jobs to have some human experience. He has worked in pizzerias, both in the kitchen - he was not very good, so he was put in the dishwasher - both in deliveries, and at a gas station, as a hotel receptionist... But now it looks like he found a job he wants to stay in, so much that it has been a year and he has not yet resigned. Perhaps Jimin has found his calling.

"It's okay... You are not alone, I'm here and I'll stay until you feel good again." He said with his sweet, angelical voice. "Can you get away from the sharp objects? Please?"

The voice on the other end of the line sounded like just a choked whisper, before the answer came, fast, heavy breathing filled the air.

"No... I can't..." The female sobbed.

"Can you tell me why?" Jimin's voice was calm. "I... my legs are numb... I can't... stand up." Her breathing was erratic and desperate.

"Are you hurt? Do you need an ambulance to be sent to you?" He used his most reassuring voice possible.

"No!" She started to cry even harder. "I don't want no one... to see me... like this." Jimin bite the inside of his cheek, thinking, maybe she just wasn't able to get up  because of the anxiety attack, but she also didn't say she wasn't hurt.

Regardless of the case, he needed to make the girl trust him in order to help her.

"What is your name?" He smiled, hopping she would listen to it in his voice. "... Ana" She whispered. "Nice to meet you, Ana. Do you remember my name? I told you at the beginning of the call."

One moment of silence.

"Jimin." She said with little certainty.

"Exactly, good job. Hi, Ana." "Hi, Jimin." Despite the crying voice, she was no longer sobbing.

"Ana, can you recall the last thing you did that made you feel safe? Secure?" A sigh reached Jimin's ears. As he waited for an answer his hands moved over a sheet of paper, he was drawing a beautiful face of a girl with crayons, without paying much attention, but getting a beautiful result.

"No." She said at last.

"I know you can, Ana. No need to rush. Breath." She thought some more, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. Almost a full minute passed, the two of them silent on the call. Jimin did not press for an answer.

"I was watching Friends... with my cat." "Your cat?" Jimin smiled more spontaneously now, noticing in her voice an oscillation of affection when saying the word cat. "Talk more about your cat."

"His name is Sushi, he's fat, full of himself, and loving. He likes children, food and sleeping. I recently bought him a cute collar, it looks like a pink bow tie." She almost laughed.

"Wow...He is a lucky cat." Suddenly she started to cry again, sobbing so hard that Jimin hardly understood what she was saying.

"He ran away and hasn't come back yet... He's never been away from home  so long... He's all I have, there's no one else... I don't want to live... alone." "Is it just you and Sushi?" Jimin spoke more forcefully for her to hear over the sobs.

"Yes." She choked. "I can't get up... It hurts so much. I'm so-sorry..."

"Ana, do you need an ambulance to be sent to you?" He tried again. Silence.

"Yes." "So I will stay with you until they come to help you. You are not alone."

Jimin was a vampire in love with live, eager to live each day as if it were the most precious gift, so working in the Center of Valuing Life and Preventing Suicide was perfect. He considers himself an expert in convincing anyone that life is beautiful when he has the opportunity to say everything he thinks about. And not letting people feel alone is one of his favorite hobbies.

After all, eternity can be quite lonely, he knows how it is.

________________________________________________________________

That call is over. Jimin was searching for missing cat posts on social media. In the silent office room it was just him and three other people working, each at their separated personal table. Perhaps due to the nature of the work, or due to the late hours of the night, nobody spoke loudly or made a lot of noise when doing things, even when talking to each other, everything is always very restrained, calm.

Jimin's eyes followed the clock hands on the wall above the door. It was almost one in the morning, actually, to be exact, twelve minutes to go, so in two minutes, you would punctually enter that door with your heavy backpack full of books, of someone who just left college on the other side of the city, and after stopping at a twenty-four hours fast food to get a well-deserved burger spent an hour on a subway trip. He could already hear your footsteps down the hall, the characteristic sound of the rubber on the soles of your boots and your bunch of keys stuck in the handle of your backpack tinkling. He heard you putting your stuff in your closet and hanging your coat on the rack in the next room, and a smile formed on Jimin's face. When the hand on the clock struck ten to one and you opened the door trying not to make any noise so as not to disturb anyone's call, Jimin pretended not to notice you entering, not taking his eyes off the computer screen full of images of cute cats. You straightened up and held firmly the pair of coffee cups in your hands till the knots turned white, looking straight at him - in fact, from the moment you walked through the door you were already expecting to see Jimin sitting at his table, as always, and since then you haven't looked away. Walking in light steps - that he could hear by the way - to him who had his back to you, you tried to control the butterflies in your stomach, happy he wasn't in a call right now.

"Jimin?" You called softly, close to his ear, but not that close. Yet. Jimin contained a smile and turned around as if you had taken him by surprise. "Hey, Y/N, didn't see you there". As usual, his direct look made your heart race and you gave a nervous laugh before getting along with his flirty tone. "I bought you coffee." You handed him one of the cups. "To take the night shift a little better."

"Thanks, sweetheart."

You are the other reason Jimin didn't quit this job yet. A few weeks ago, when he was working long enough to decide to leave and go for the next adventure, you started working at the night shift, and right away you caught Jimin's attention, even though at first you didn't talk with him that much - in fact you only talked to the women on the team, and avoided the men. More than once he found himself paying attention to your emergency calls, how you talk, being positive without being suffocating for those in pain ... how you love life. After a while you started doing the same thing, a little less easily, since you don't have a vampire audition, but it was enough for you to acquire a platonic crush on Jimin, which resulted in you opening up, and you two start talking here and there. Now almost whenever you have time or money left over - college life is poor life - you bring him coffee. Jimin doesn't actually drink coffee at all, and he doesn't feel sleepy either, but he thinks it's cute that you worry for him. You see each other three to four times a week, depending on the schedule of work, and he is always eager to see you. Flirting is exciting, and he hasn't done that in a while... Like two centuries, and how it was done back there was quite different. Other times indeed.

"Did you lose your cat?" You asked, confused.

"Oh, no, I didn't." He closed the page with the photo of a white and gray cat wearing a pink bow tie.. "One friend of mine lost her cat, Sushi." "Poor thing. I hope she finds Sushi soon..." You slightly pouted.

"Me too. I'll help her." Jimin said, and the butterflies in your stomach thought it was beautiful.

Something on his desk caught your attention, a colorful draw of said cat made with crayon. Before Jimin could stop you - he was distracted by hearing your heart beat faster because of him - you picked up the stack of papers to get a closer look.

"And you drew him! How beautiful... I didn't know you were so talented." "Thank you. My friend who taught me, he is much better than me..." Jimin simply answered.

You moved on to the next sheet, where another sketch of the cat in different colors made your eyes shine. "So he must be awesome. Look at this!" Jimin was happy to be praised by you, the pink of your cheeks when speaking was a beautiful sign for him, but then he remembered what was the next drawing in your hands, and before you could see it, he cleared his throat and took them back, keeping them in the drawer. It was a drawing of a girl's pretty face. Your face. "They are not quite ready yet..." He pretended modesty.

"Oh, sorry. If you need help, just tell me. I can hang up posters or something. About finding the lost cat, I mean." You volunteered, and then looked around. "I better get to work before someone scolds me."

You went to your desk, across his, and your eyes met a few more times before as you sat down and turned on your computer. Jimin's phone rang and he forced himself to look away from your face, someone else needed him now. "Good night, my name is Jimin and you called the Life Valuation Center. Can I help?" He spoke, his voice welcome and full of affection. ________________________________________________________________

Jimin's shift ends before yours, just before three in the morning he puts things away and leaves the table ready for the person who will use the next shift, but he won't leave, even if everyone thinks so. Instead he goes to the roof to look at the stars and wait for you to leave - not that you know he is waiting for you. He was listening to a random playlist on spotify, stretching his body to the beat just because it feels good, thinking about nothing specific, just existing and feeling good about it.

The night breeze brought his scent to him, looking down from the parapet, he could see you leaving the building, with your scarf well wrapped around your neck, covering half of your face to protect you from the cold air. He doesn't understand you... It's beautiful that you want to help people who are going through a difficult time, and you've commented before that the night shift matches your other schedules, and that you like to stay up at night. However, he thinks you should consider it's not worth it. It's so late and empty when you go home, it's dangerous for a human woman, and as much as he knows that you have a pocketknife in your pocket, Jimin thinks it's silly of you. Usually he wouldn't think much about it, but it's you, and he is fond of you, he can't just do nothing about it. So even if you don't know it, he accompanies you home every night to make sure you are safe. He is only satisfied and goes home when he hears you enter your room. Sometimes he stays a little longer, sitting on the emergency stairs outside your building, listening to you walking up and down in your room, doing whatever, instead of going to sleep soon.

That's kind of creepy. He knows. But he is a vampire, he is already creepy in essence. But of course he would never watch you sleep, for exemple, this is a stalker limit that he does not intend to cross.

"Okay." He sighed as he heard you getting into bed. "I have one hour and a half before the sun rises... Let's find that cat." __________________________________________

You were awake for a couple of hours already, currently packing your books at the end of a lecture, really needing sugar to feel prepared before the last class of the day, and excited that instead of going to the study group you are a part of, you will take an experimental dance class and it's your day off, which means that instead of staying up until dawn working, you can stay up until dawn studying, and maybe sleep a little earlier. Life is too short to not take all the free trial classes available just because your schedule is already full and totally demanding. Anyways you are dead tired, wishing your body doesn't need to sleep... Since you started to work on the Life Valuation Center all your sleeping schedule went down the drain. At first your plan was to work the night shift only at the beginning, and then change your hours, but for some reason you always liked to stay up all night, also the movement of calls in this period is bigger and more specific, which helps in your internship report, and of course, in the day shift there is no Jimin... You've settled in, and now after months of this crazy, fickle routine, your body is feeling the side effects.

"Three of this rainbow donuts please." You asked at the college cafe. One because you want, two because one is not enough, three because you are greedy. Life is too short not to overeat your current favorite sugar source. You sigh to yourself, taking a seat along your friends. Your mantra for life is life is too short to...insert anything here, experimenting and doing things that you never imagined before and that your mother probably wouldn't approve a hundred percent is what moves you. Basically nothing scares you, since childhood you were courageous and fearless. You subject yourself to almost anything, within the measures of what is safe, to have good stories to tell. The world is too big to be content with just having good grades to graduate and have a good job. What you want is much more... so much more that you don't even know what... But it’s not just because you don’t know yet that you’ll stand still without going after it to find out.

"Hey, Y/N, what are you gonna do on the weekend?" Your friend, Becca, asked comfortably within her girlfriend's embrace. As usual, whenever you see the two of them together being all lovey dovey, you feel a twinge of pride in your heart, because you were responsible for them to start dating in the first place. Although your romantic life is not very interesting, without serious or successful relationships, you are a great cupid.

"For the very first time in months... I don't know. I didn't plan anything, maybe something will show up, if not I'm just going to sleep. Why?" You smiled your happy smile of eating what you like.

"Pool party. You need to get a tan, you look like a vampire with that pale, tired face of yours."

You laughed because it's true, since you started changing the day for the night, your skin has acquired a not healthy tone that you are not used to. You've been missing the sun a little.

"First of all, I'm too cute to be a vampire. Second, yeah I'll think about it, I have a new bikini I haven't worn yet that makes my breasts look stunning." One of your friends that was sitting by your side put his arm over your shoulder. "I changed my mind, I'm going to this party." He loudly said. The girls in the group didn't laugh at all. "Shut up, Mike." You playfully pushed him. ________________________________________________________________

This was the second night that Jimin was looking for the cat, Sushi. It was not difficult to find out the address of it’s owner, since he had to activate an ambulance for her, and with that he started looking for the animal in her neighborhood. Passing through the empty streets at night after his work shift, he could see the girl's tracks leaving "missing" posters with a picture of a kitten wearing a pink bow tie, on lampposts and bus stops. At first Jimin thought it was going to be easy, with his keen vampire senses, but all he found were stray cats that weren't Sushi. The second night of searching was already ending, the sun was rising, threatening to make him explode into ashes if he didn't come home soon, and no clue as to where to look the next night he had.

Before getting into the car and driving home, Jimin took one last look at the slightly open curtains in the girl's room, Ana, just to make sure she was okay. She had been discharged from the hospital that afternoon and was now sleeping on the couch, probably medicated. Jimin didn't want to leave her alone, but he couldn't just walk into her apartment and offer help, for now all he could do was find a way to find the cat. ________________________________________________________________ Jimin lives in an old pretty house in the wealthiest part of the city, it isn't a mansion, but it is big and expensive enough to impress anyone who sees it, privileges of centuries of saved money. It's a cliché, but vampires dress in designer clothes, ride luxury cars and live in expensive mansions, houses, apartments, and Jimin is no exception.

From one of the main rooms, behind a heavy curtain, hidden in the gloom, was another vampire, watching the street with intent, expressionless eyes. When Jimin's car turned the corner and up the wide street lined with huge trees, the vampire got uneasy, his beautiful restless hands worrying the hem of his sleeves. He was anxious and angry, if his heart was still beating it would be racing. The garage door opened and the car entered, disappearing from view, in the next second the vampire was no longer in the room but in front of the door leading to the garage, waiting in the empty, dark hall. The knob turned the door slightly opened, Jimin with his head down did not seem to notice the presence of the other before being attacked.

"AH!" Jimin screamed as long arms embraced his neck. If it wasn't for the wall behind him he would have fallen, yet he had no escape, with a body much larger than his overpowering him. "Taehyungie!"

"You are late! Is the second day in a row you get home after sunrise! Are you trying to die?" Taehyung said, and didn't let Jimin go just yet. "It's okay. I was careful, I just had to do a few things before I came home. Look, there's not even smoke coming out of me." Jimin ran his hands over Tae's back, making him relax. The other stepped back a little, taking his face in his big hands.

"You could have sent a message. I asked you to let me know if you were going to be late again, Jiminie..." Tae pouted, still distressed. "And why do your clothes smell like garbage? Take it off."

Even feeling deprived of affection, Taehyung walked away looking disgusted, covering his nose with two fingers. Jimin obeyed, taking off his sneakers, jacket and jeans, following Taehyung through the corridor to the laundry room, where he put everything in a basket to wash later, and also exchanged the shirt for a clean one too. "I went into some alleys today, looking for a cat. That's why." Jimin explained, feeling much more comfortable in not smelling bad.

"And where's it? I don't think Tannie will like to share the house with a cat..." "Where is what?" Jimin was confused. Tae crossed his arms.

"The cat?"

"Oh no!" Jimin laughed, reaching for Tae to take him by the shoulders. "I wasn't looking for a cat to bring home, as much as I would love one as a pet... It's the cat of a girl I met, and is very sad to have lost it..."

"I got it..." Taehyung mumbled.

Jimin was just helping someone. Again. And Taehyung couldn't say exactly why it bothers him so much every time, but it does, he feels distressed, almost as if the world around him collapsed, and it makes him think he's being overdramatic. Live an eternity when you can't even put your feelings out in moments of frustration. Damn, it is conflicting... If vampires could cry, he would. But never that he would let Jimin discover that he feels that way.

It was Jimin's turn to take Tae's face in his little hands.

"You are so skinny. When was the last time you fed?" Taehyung didn't answer.

"You don't even remember, right?" Jimin's eyes went worried. "Did you see that I brought some O- packs for you? I left it in the fridge."

"No, I didn't." A shy smile spread across Tae's face. O- is his favorite blood type, but because it is a not so common type, and humans need transplantation, it's not always that Jimin brings it to him, usually opting for his second favorite flavor or other one available.

Jimin has been trying to cheer his friend up with little treats. It has been a difficult phase, in which he thinks Tae is going through the vampiric midlife crisis. He hasn't been out of the house for almost two decades and does nothing without a little external motivation, even the simplest things like eating. So Jimin tries to bring the best blood types to fill the fridge, signed all available streaming platforms, updates Taehyung's video game consoles as soon as a new model comes out, tries to get him interested in new hobbies - which never works but he doesn't give up - and he even adopted a puppy so that Tae would never be alone.

"Come." Jimin pulled him by the hand to their modern practically untouched kitchen, opened the fridge and picked two packs of blood, the dark liquid shining at the cold light. “In my room or yours?"

"Yours."

The two of them got to Jimin's room, followed by the sound of four paws scraping the polished wooden floor, Yeontan chasing them closely. Jimin pulled the covers off the clean bed, on which he rarely lies down, so they could get more comfortable. Tae laid on his back, against the pile of smooth pillows, carefully opening a packet of blood to not spill a single drop, and put a stainless steel straw in the opening. Jimin turned on the TV, put the dog in the bed, and cuddled Tae's side, with his head on his chest.

"What show have you been watching?" Jimin asked.

"None. I've been looking for something interesting in this shit for days and I can't find anything." Tae took a sip of his blood with a pout.

Jimin chuckled. "I'm choosing then."

A moment of silence followed, in which the only sound was of Tae drinking the rest of his first pack, and then opening another one.

"I think I need to shower..." Jimin commented.

Taehyung's arm that was around Jimin tightened. "Not now. Later." Jimin laughed, thinking it was cute. An idea crossed his mind, another small treat.

"Do you want to bath with me instead?" He looked up to Tae.

Tae hold tightened even more.

"Not now. Later. Now we cuddle."

As if agreeing, Yeontan climbed over the two vampires, finding a comfortable place to lie down and join the cuddle pile.

"Ok."

________________________________________________________________

Tonight you didn't have time to talk to Jimin when you arrived at work, he was on a call, and it seemed really serious. You didn't have the money to buy extra coffee even for yourself, so you hadn't an excuse to pass quietly by his desk to leave a post-it written "Hi :)". In those circumstances, you went straight to your desk to work, to do your best to be a good listener.

To your surprise, making your heart melt and your breath hold at the bottom of the throat, you saw at the top of your computer screen a post-it with a "Hi, sweetheart." written on it, and another one with a "Look in the fridge.". After working with him for that time, regularly doing some paperwork like filling out documentation and such things, you could say for sure that this was Jimin's handwriting, besides, only he calls you sweetheart.

You checked the clock on the wall with an eager look and a silly smile. As you always arrive ten minutes early, there was time to go to the break room quickly, and look inside the fridge before starting to work. And so you did. The break room was nothing more than a small table with a few chairs, a small couch, a sink, an old coffee machine, a microwave and the refrigerator, all in a tight space lit by white lights that leave the place a little impersonal. None of your co-workers were there, as usual. You crossed the small room to the fridge and opened it trying not to make a noise, more out of habit than necessity.

The interior was very empty, with some forgotten lunchboxes, but that didn't interest you. Your goal was right in the middle. A big cup of iced coffee, from a franchise that you don't usually buy from because you find it a little too expensive for your student budget, with your name written on a post-it on top of it.

"Y/N, I wanted to be me treating you today. Hope you like it."

That coffee was as cold as Jimin's fingertips when touching yours, but it warmed your heart. Sometimes you question yourself if it's healthy how head over heels you are for this guy, for so little.

Back at your desk, now with your iced coffee, you wrote a post-it and pasted it on the back of your computer screen, where Jimin could see it. "Thanks :)" Then you started to work. Other people needed you now. ________________________________________________________________ On your fifteen minutes break time, you were leaving the restroom, passing a moisturizing hand cream - because you swear that the soap in this place dries out your skin, and god forbid you from harsh hands -, the sound of the break room's door opening made you lift your eyes from the floor. It was Jimin. He don't take breaks, it's not like he needs it, he doesn't get tired, but he didn't get the chance to talk to you today yet, so as soon he saw you stretching in your chair, indicating that you would soon get up to go to the bathroom - yes, he learned your routine and mannerisms - he discreetly left the room to meet you by coincidence in the hall afterwards.

"Hi, Y/N. Did you like the coffee?" He charmly smiled at you, he was eager to ask it to you, to find out if he made the right choice of flavor, or if he made a bad mistake and you hated it - he couldn't help thinking about that possibility. Anyway, he was looking forward to your approval.

The truth is that you were so stunned by his caring that it didn't matter what the flavor was.

"Actually, yes. I love vanilla flavored things. It's basic but it makes me happy." You fixed your hair, pulling it behind your ears. Jimin could tell by your smile and your heated face that you aren't lying.

"Nice. I wanted to make you happy." He approached you, more than is suitable for the work environment, and it made you nervous, and of course he noticed. But it was okay, if someone came close he would hear and walk away before they could see you, too bad he couldn't tell you that.

"Mission completed successfully." You said, without looking away from his eyes - no matter how much part of you shouted at you to do it, your heart felt like it was going to explode. Well, your heart has a limit, so you changed the subject. "Did your friend find her cat?" Sadness took over Jimin's eyes.

"Unfortunately not. I've been looking for him for two days and nothing, I swear I think I've looked in every street, alley and trash can. I don't want to think like that, but I think Sushi is no longer with us." He sighed, clearly frustrated. You had the impulse to rub his forearms to comfort him, it was the very first time you really touched him. "If he is a cat that wasn't accustomed to getting out, and didn't know how to walk on the street, it is possible that something bad happened... But! He's a cat, if he used to go out often, he might have some other house, other owners, and that's why he hasn't come back yet." You optimistically said.

A smile spread in Jimin's face.

"That makes sense! She told me something like 'He's never been away from home for so long', there's hope then. And you also gave me an idea. Thank you, Y/N." He pulled you into a hug, and you thought you could die.

"You welcome." You said against his chest, deciding not to waste the opportunity to return the hug. ________________________________________________________________ The day was perfect for a vampire walk in the daytime. Cloudy and rainy. No deadly sunbeams and an excuse to use an umbrella without calling attention to it. After the tip you gave, Jimin looked in the right place after accompanying you home that night, and in less than an hour he was outside the window of two children's rooms, in a ground floor apartment, looking inside, and sleeping between the feet of one of the children was the cat, he wasn't with his bow tie but there was no mistake, Jimin was sure. Even without being able to enter - vampiric rules, you only can get in somebody's house if invited, or else you explode as if you were under sunlight - Jimin could smell cat all over the house, and the windows all had anti-escape screens, which indicated that it was a family of cat people.

Jimin would need to come back to pick the cat during the day, knock on the front door and politely ask. That's why heavy weather is perfect. With a dark couture coat, covering all from his neck to the back of his hands, to his knees, a design hat and sunglasses, and last but nos least, a big umbrella, he approached the lower middle class apartment complex. Without hesitation he raised his hand and knocked. Some seconds passed by, sound of kids running inside and a voice of a famale scolding them muffled by the closed door, and then a little girl, maybe six-year-old, appeared in Jimin's field of vision, her eyes sparkling as she looked at him. He was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen after all.

"Hello." Jimin smiled. "Are your parents home?"

She smiled at him, but shook her head negatively.

"Jo, who is it?" An older girl opened the door wider and faced Jimin with a frown that fell apart when she saw his smile. Great, a teenager, he thought. "What do you want?"

"Sorry to bother, I really wanted to talk to an adult, but..." Jimin lifted his phone, the screen showing Sushi's missed post. "I saw my friend's cat on your window."

The older girl narrowed her eyes as she looked at the photo, but before she could answer, the little girl she called Jo before ran away.

"No!" She screamed, disappearing inside the apartment, and then slamming a door somewhere.

"Sorry for that, please wait a minute." The teenager closed the door on his face, and he could hear her shouting and scolding the girl little inside. He was starting to lose his patience. Jimin doesn't like to be ignored at all. Should he knock again and use his mind control powers to get the cat? He was pondering the idea when the door opened again, the two girls were still loudly arguing inside, and this time it was a small boy who must be the middle sibling in front of him.

"Hi, grandma said to tell you to come in." He mumbled.

"So you are letting me get in your house?" Jimin asked with a satisfied grin.

"Yeah... follow me." The boy was avoiding eye contact, being shy. Jimin thought he was adorable.

Jimin followed the boy to a tiny living room, where an old woman was sitting in front of the TV. The girls were now silent, but clearly wanting to argue some more, and the small one was with Sushi in her arms. Jimin sighed, he likes children, a lot, even though he doesn't live with many, but he likes them even more when they're not having a tantrum.

"Hello. Please, take a seat." The old lady pointed to the old couch. The vampire obliged, and almost immediately a fat orange cat jumped into his lap. In this small room alone he could see three more of them. "So, why do you want to steal one of my babies?" Steal? Jimin was slightly offended, he already explained himself, but the chaotic situation created a misunderstanding. "I'm not here to steal nothing, ma'am." He showed his cellphone again. "One of your cats is Sushi, my friend's cat."

"That's not his name!" The little girl shouted tapping a foot on the floor in anger. Jimin just raised his eyebrows at her, making her swallow hard. But he is in control of the situation, so Jimin smiled to remain pleasant.

"Of course it is. Just watch, little one." He reached out to call the cat. "Come here, Sushi." Even though the cat didn't know Jimin to trust him - and these people don't need to know that - cats are creatures of the night, strongly attached to magic and protection in the dark hours, and in the hierarchy of the night they obeyed vampires. The only things that cats respect more than vampires are witches and their own owners whom they protect. As Jimin expected, Sushi jumped off the girl's tight hold and went over to him.

"Good boy. Ana is missing you like hell." Jimin scratched behind his ears. Before someone else could say anything, he proceeded. "When he got lost he was using a pink bow tie." The old lady was still with Jimin cellphone in her hand, and he could see she was convinced he know the cat, but wasn't intending on letting him leave with him yet.

"I'm seeing it in the post, but there was no tie when we got him." She replied. "You just didn't see it, ma'am." Jimin was tired of this conversation, it was being a lot less nice than he imagined on his way there. When he looked to the little girl to talk to her, his eyes were intense and powerful, and his voice was full of authority. "Go get the tie where you hid it, little one."

Mesmerized by Jimin's power, the girl didn't even blink or say anything as she obeyed, turned around and ran to one of the rooms. Jimin doesn't use hypnosis very often but he has fun every time. She got back with it and handed it to him.

"Thanks." He removed the effect and the little girl blinked a few times before understanding what happened.

The old lady was clearly angry with the girl, but it wasn't Jimin's business. "Well I think that's all. We are going now." Jimin got up from the couch.

"Wait!" The teenager snapped. "Jo lied about the bow to keep the cat, and that's bad, but she already loves him! You can't just take him away!"

Jimin was almost on the door.

"Of course I can. Besides, it's not because what she did is bad, young lady. It's because my friend loves him, actually this cat is Ana's family. No one should live alone, right?"

"Right!" The old lady got up too. "I'll get you to the door, tell our friend we are sorry."

"I will. Thank you." ________________________________________________________________

"You found the cat!" Tae sniffed the back of Jimin's neck. "Where is it?"

Jimin was putting the clothes he was using to wash, to remove the smell of cat and the places he passed by. And to get comfortable, as is his habit when he gets home, he just stayed in his underwear and t-shirt.

"I already gave him back to his owner." In the next second Jimin was dropping himself on the leather couch.

"And how was it? Did she thank you with tears in her eyes?" Tae leaned over the back of the sofa with his chin in his hands.

Jimin chuckled, Taehyung's thirst for drama is funny, and he's always been like that. And at least that doesn't seem to have changed...

"Well... She cried a lot when she found him in the window. She looked really happy!" Jimin sang. He was really happy too. He helped someone to find their smile again, even if it is a little bit, it made him really proud of himself, a warm feeling in his chest telling him it was the right thing to do, and that he should do it again if he gets the opportunity. Taehyung's expression changed, suddenly he was disinterested.

"You didn't even talk to her? Just left the cat there for her to find?"

"Well, yeah." Jimin threw his hair back. "I couldn't risk she recognizing my voice and thinking I was stalking her. Scaring her was not the goal, Tae, quite the contrary..."

Taehyung stared at him in silence for what felt a whole minute - maybe it really was, vampires perceive time differently. "You are not a secret superhero, Jimin. You are a vampire." Said that he got back to his room.

Jimin doesn't understand. These outbursts and mood swings leave him confused. And it's not like he hasn't already tried to talk. This... This he doesn't recognize in Taehyung. It hurt his feelings and at same time he feels it is partially his faut. "I can be both if I want to!" He exclaimed.

No answer. To find somebody who would be happy for him and understand the euphoria he felt for saving a little bit that girl he went through his contact list. A lot of vampire names - a lot is maybe an exaggeration, since he doesn't have many friends at all - who wouldn't be rude, but wouldn't understand, and also some former human colleagues from past jobs with whom he hasn't spoken in a long time and maybe should erase the number... And you. Of course you are the obvious choice. You had sympathy for the case from the beginning, even offered to help. And if it weren't for you he wouldn't have succeeded...

Jimin: hey sweetheart Jimin: I found sushi! Jimin: thanks to you btw He sent the messages, hoping it wouldn't be strange. It wasn't the first time you two texted before, but it was just an exchange of memes and silly flirt... without compromise talk. And what he wanted this time was different. You took too long to answer, and he wondered if you were in class and if he was bothering you. He wanted everything but to mess it up with you right now. Maybe he should've checked your class schedule for the week to make sure he texted you when he was sure you were free. But he was so eager to talk to someone... with you. He gave up waiting and went after doing something productive. Crochet dolls. He was doing a mini Taehyung, with red eyes and little cute fangs - an apology for later, neither of them like fighting with each other, even if you can't call that earlier thing a fight- when his cell phone started to crazily vibrate and beep.

You: OMG! You: thts amazing! You: sorry i didn't aswr before You: I was taking a nap hehe You: anyways You: i'm so happy u found him You: [image.jpg] You: ur friend must be even happier :) You: what do u mean thanx to me? You: sorry i spammed u :( Jimin can't handle you. You are too cute. You literally sent him a photo of you with an enormous smile, cheering, to show him your reaction. And you were with your hair all messed and the puffy face of someone who just woke up. Precious. Jimin: no problem, sweetheart Jimin: you said to look in other owners' houses. basically. I found him with a old cat lady with three grandchildren   Jimin: you are looking cute btw You: OwO You: i'm looking like shit Jimin You: BUT thats awesome You: if it was me id be crying til my eyes fall You weren't even there with him, in person, and you were putting a smile on his face. How dare you say you look like shit when you have those perfect cute cheeks? So alive...

Jimin: EXACTLY. that's why I wanted to find him so much. Jimin: and because you helped me, I want to reward you Jimin: i know you don't work today. me neither. do you want to go out for coffee in a nice place? You took too long to answer again, and that's because your heart is exploding and knees trembling while you stare at your cell phone screen, standing midway in your kitchen. You: u dont need to. i did nothing. This time Jimin took too long to answer. He was making a decision. To be more straightforward. More honest. Until now he was dictating a slow pace for your flirting, because for him romance is like that. But what if he tries to speed things up a bit? Or if he lets you command? How would things be?

Jimin: Y/N, respect my excuse to ask you out.

He knew what your answer would be. Even so, he felt anxious, hearing a non-existent heartbeat in his ear, while the three dots indicated that you were typing.

You: ok. what time do you come to pick me?

Tag List:  @angrygardenerr @depressed-dude20 @milktaetae95 @tangledsparkles  @wlalsrkfla @minikolima​  @wrecklesseuphoria

If you want me to add you to the list let me know, and please let comments :)

[veryimportantsparkles]

Hey it’s Christmas again.  I guess I do these life updates every six months now (I guess it’s just venting but we’ll pretend it’s an update) so here’s some tl;dr about how things are going.

I just finished a Christmas Eve shift at work and once again this year we all decided not to work Christmas.  It’s the one day a year we can say no to and my whole department said no.  We’re inside a grocery store, and the store is still open, but if people want coffee they can go somewhere else.  Or maybe they can’t!  Every food place is understaffed and a lot of the coffee chains specifically are closing early or at unpredictable times because they can’t get people to work the full day.  Customers can just deal with it, I don’t care.

I can’t tell if work has gotten better or worse lately.  We may have reached a point with both staffing and shortages that some of the customers have given up.  We don’t seem to be as crazy busy and I think some shoppers have actually learned to do their grocery shopping more than one day before a big holiday.  Not all of them, but enough that we weren’t swarmed on Thanksgiving.  The few days before Christmas were manageable too.  I can’t tell if our staffing is getting better.  They’ve hired some new people, we’ll have to wait and see who sticks around.

My weird numb arm situation keeps going through good and bad days.  The last few days have been the worst, I haven’t gotten fully numb fingers at work but I’ll have like...tingly biceps.  At work I move around enough to stop it from getting worse, but usually it doesn’t happen at work AT ALL.  The current theory is that I might be experiencing wild swings in blood pressure.  Going really high and really low and that’s why sometimes the numb stops.

I haven’t seen a doctor yet, but I did make sure to go through some paperwork stuff to ensure my insurance is set.  It’s been a bad time to plan to see a doctor but I think that’s been true for the last two years now, so I guess I just have to put the effort in.  That’s my goal for 2022, figure out the numb arms.

I spent a really stupid amount of time this last year doing shit on petsites.  I made a big post about it a while back, it is WAY too many neopets clones and I should stop.  In a couple of them I reached some goals I was working towards, and a few I can drop with no issues because they don’t have daily login bonuses or anything like that to try and hook me.  I have also made the full commitment to being on Gaia Online again.  But since Gaia is a very run-down place right now, that commitment isn’t very big.  I mostly just sit there and lurk on discussions about whether or not Gaia is dying.  It probably isn’t.

I spent a lot of time trying to play JRPGs but, as is typical for me, I turn every enjoyable thing into a PROJECT and then fail to complete it.  Last time I played Final Fantasy VIII, I got to a point where I was ready to try the triple triad sidequests.  And then I saved the game, turned it off, and haven’t gone back.  In Skyrim I’ve been tying off loose quest threads here and there but haven’t done anything big and important that I can turn into part of the Bitey saga.  Once I’ve gotten a bunch of quests and dungeons cleared I’ll probably do the Dawnguard stuff.  THEN maybe I’ll play the storyline, or maybe not.  I’ve picked up a bunch of other RPGs but haven’t made great progress in any of them, other than YS I&II which I just beat last night.  They are very good!

Going into next year I just hope things stabilize.  For society and for myself.  I do want to get back into Popkas, although I’m still deciding how, and it’s not going to happen if I can’t manage the numb hand stuff.  Laserwing continues at it’s really slow pace, it’s the one project I refuse to drop.  Josh the Boyfriend has been busy lately doing behind-the-scenes prep for Neon Divide, which used to be Callous Row, which is a thing I’ve posted art for but is complicated to explain here.  When season 3 starts (in...February?  If everything goes according to plan) I will probably try to hype it up and explain why it’s interesting.  But because of this, we haven’t gotten back into LPs and streams.  Not sure if/when that will come back but I hope it happens some day!

Have a merry Christmas, or whatever.  Hope next year is better.

[trainsinanime]

Here’s a Miraculous Ladybug story idea that I may write some time, but probably not, because I only really care about chapter two of what would probably need to be at least ten.

Chapter one features Lila going after Marinette full-force. Not the weak boring „she rips up her notebook so hard that Marinette has to move to Gotham“ crap. We’re doing this properly: Lila convinces the Mayor that Marinette is planning to resurrect Napoleon and bring him back to power. So the Mayor has Marinette imprisoned without trial, because apparently he can do that in the Miraculous universe, and not even her friends or family know what’s going on.

Chapter 3 and later will detail how Marinette managed to escape the prison after fourteen years, with the help of a professional hypnotist. She discovers a pirate treasure on a small uninhabited island off the coast of Italy. With the money from the treasure, she buys the island and the title of nobility that comes with it, and returns to Paris. Rich, and now officially a countess, she will reward those who were loyal to her, and destroy all her enemies. (I haven’t yet worked out what that means in detail.)

But the really interesting part for me is what happens in those fourteen years. Here are my notes. Content warning: Dark, Major Character Death, Intended as over-the-top and silly but maybe not over-the-top enough, and of course, Adrien/Lila:

With Marinette gone, a lot of joy drops from the class immediately. Everybody loves her, and they only have weird rumours about what happened to her, rumours that they can’t believe even if the source is Lila. (No, we’re not doing class salt. Yes, that means my options for enemies in the later chapters are limited. I don’t care, I love Alya and the rest of the class and I am not throwing them under the bus.)

The first time Ladybug doesn’t appear to a fight, everybody is pissed. The second time, they’re even more pissed. The third time, they’re worried.

Chat Noir does his best. He decides to capture the Akumas, so Ladybug can cleanse them when she returns. For now, he stores them in mason jars. After a bit of thought, he decided to just store them in the cellar of the mansion, in a box labelled „Adrien’s favourite toys“. Nobody ever looks there.

No Ladybug means no cleanup. (The ear rings are kept in the warden’s office in Marinette’s prison, so Ladybug is out of commission for fourteen years). Adrien again tries to help, spending way too much time cataclysming debris. A child has lost their favourite plush shark in a river of chocolate? Chat Noir manages to „find“ and „clean“ it. No, it’s totally the same shark, not a new one that he just bought, believe me. The child is happy, but clearly it’s not enough.

The first time the Eiffel Tower is destroyed, rebuilding it is a matter of national pride. If Ladybug is gone, then France will step in. Gabriel donates a lot to the effort.

The second time the Eiffel Tower is destroyed, authorities decide to leave the debris as a monument. The statue for Ladybug disappears.

With no Ladybug, Hawkmoth realises that he can’t get the ear rings. Attacks decrease, to once a month, then once every three months; apparently just to check whether Ladybug has returned. Around Adrien’s eighteenth birthday, it seems like Hawkmoth might retire for good. On a completely unrelated note, Gabriel appears to have lost all will to live.

Adrien can’t escape Lila, who continues to be employed by Gabriel, despite her not being very good at photoshoots. But he does his best to keep his distance.

Shortly after Adrien’s birthday, he is away, while Lila has a meeting with Gabriel and Nathalie. But tragedy strikes: Lila arrives and witnesses Gabriel shooting Nathalie and then himself. Why would he do such a thing? Good thing Lila is such a reliable witness. The case is so clear that the police don’t even have to check the gun for fingerprints.

Adrien is stricken with grief. He tries to call his friends, but nobody will reply. It’s almost as if someone with access to Gabriel’s computer had used the spy software on Adrien’s phone to disable it. But that’s clearly absurd. There is only one other person who is there to comfort him: Lila. Adrien doesn’t like her, but she is someone familiar. She spends the night.

The next morning, Adrien is disgusted, and the two part ways. But two months later, she reappears and tells him she is pregnant and it’s his child. She has a whole speech prepared about how he needs to take responsibility, but it’s not necessary: Adrien will not let his child grow up without a father.

The next month, the wedding is a weird affair. Lila wanted something grandiose, and she got it. But all their friends know that this is anything but true love.

Alix wonders aloud what Marinette’s role would have been if she had been here. Alya jokingly says that she’d be the bride. Adrien overhears, and he realises: Yeah, she would have been. He loves her. Always had. This moment is when the only wedding picture is taken where Adrien smiles.

Seven months later, Gabriel Agreste Junior is born. Adrien loves his son with all his heart, but he has questions. But Lila and her top-notch expensive doctors assure him that this is perfectly normal, sometimes pregnancies take a month longer or two. Adrien is not fully convinced, but he doesn’t want to cause a fuss.

Around this time we also get a new Hawkmoth, who is much meaner, but doesn’t seem to have as clear a goal. Everybody’s best guess is that this Hawkmoth is just going after whoever last pissed them off. (Totally forgot this one in the original version of the post, sorry)

Two years later, Lila’s daughter Emma Marinette Agreste Junior is born. Adrien picked the second name while Lila was asleep. Since Lila is not involved with her kid’s upbringing at all, she has not yet noticed. This time, Adrien is convinced that something is up and Lila is lying to him. The reason: He has recently learned how babies are made, and he knows for a fact that he never did that with Lila.

He confronts her. Lila isn’t concerned, though. What’s he going to do? Divorce her? Then he’s never going to see the kids again. The things she could make a court believe… Adrien is horrified by that thought, especially since he knows very well that he’s the only one in the marriage who loves these children.

Meanwhile, Lila’s own career as an actress isn’t going well. She’s a great natural talent, sure; she can make anyone believe anything. But to be a great actor, you still have to turn up on set every day, and not just when you feel like it. Oh, sure, she has great excuses, but the jobs still dry up fast. And while you can make up a story that makes you look good about one make-up artist you made cry, maybe two, there is a point where it becomes a problem.

She blames Adrien for this, mostly because he will generally not back up her lies about where she was. He doesn’t really care, though. Despite her threats, what’s she gonna do, leave with the kids? Thanks to his father, Adrien had some top notch lawyers, and the pre-nup agreement is watertight.

Unrelated to all this, behold Paris’s new mayor, Chloé Burgeois. She’s been embroiled in controversy from day one. Some say she’s too young. Others say she only got the job because her father was mayor before her. Yet others point to her publicly difficult relation with her constant partner and off-again-on-again girlfriend Sabrina. But perhaps the biggest talking point is that in her office, she has a big painting of a certain heroine in red with spots, with the words, „what would Ladybug do?“ underneath. She’s never lost trust, and the press hates her for it.

One day, her old school friend Alya visits. Alya’s own relationship to Ladybug is difficult: Part of her still holds out hope, just like Chat Noir. Another part of her curses Ladybug for just leaving. Her goal now is completely unrelated to Ladybug, though. She has uncovered new things about the Napoleon Resurrection Conspiracy: The main witness (Lila) and the supposed ring-leader: Marinette. That can’t be right.

She wants Chloé to reveal the truth. Chloé herself has no idea, and very little interest in investigating. Her father told her that this was all secret, and that she should never touch this subject.

But she knows very well what Alya is asking for here. Alya got her big break as a journalist by uncovering the files on the Napoleon Resurrection Conspiracy in the first place. The revelation that it had all been swept under the rug was what caused the old Mayor to step down in the first place. If Alya is now saying that this might all be wrong, that means she’s placing her whole career on the line. That level of commitment means something.

For her own part, it took Chloé a while to admit it, but she was shocked and heartbroken by Marinette’s sudden disappearance as well. It was the first step to becoming a somewhat nicer person, and forming real bonds with her classmates. She has the access to the archives. She could uncover the truth, and maybe even find out where Marinette is now. It wouldn’t be popular, and it might be dangerous… but what would Ladybug do?

Chloé is all in, and it doesn’t take long until she meets Lila. Chloé would not consider herself a fan. She knows the difference between Adrien’s real and fake smiles. Lila refuses to clear things up, though. Instead, she tells Chloé that the french secret service does not allow her to say anything, and that Chloé better drop it if she knows what’s good for her.

Chloé ignores it. She also ignores it when she gets a threatening letter. After all, Ladybug was up against powerful people, too, and she never let that stop her. She even ignores when her own personal Yacht sinks for unexplained reasons, until her Butler and Sabrina explain to her some things about the history of the french secret service (actually I’m not sure whether this is too much in bad taste; the alternative would be that her vacation home gets set on fire).

She tells Alya that there is nothing to know, and blocks her cell phone number. The next day, workers remove the Ladybug painting. After all, what Ladybug would do is just disappear, right? Only fitting. Sabrina laughs a little too artificially at the joke. Yes, indeed. Ladybug would just stop doing her job when the people needed her. Perfect analogy.

With that, the basic outline is set. Chapter three would probably be short and tell the story of Marinette’s imprisonment. Chapter four is then where the real revenge starts.

Other points:

At various points, Luka is sadly strumming his guitar.

I’m not sure what to do about Marinette’s parents. The mean option is that they die, full of grief over their missing daughter. The very mean option is that they end up separating first. I’m not sure Marinette’s revenge spree works if they’re still around, and I definitely don’t ever see them turning away from her.

Nino and Kagami could do with an arc here.

Anyway, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this, but since I don’t know how to turn this into a full story, this is as good as it gets. If any of you guys want to borrow parts or all of it for your stories, please go ahead.

[babybluebex]

revelations

pairing: spencer reid x fem reader (y/n)

summary: rewrite of “revelations”. y/n and spencer have to navigate what happens when their lives are threatened and ultimately taken away.

word count: 2800+

warnings: season 2 reid, drugging, mentions of r*pe

a/n: this one is a little heavy, so sorry about it. the next part will be happier, i swear. pls don’t hate me :(

“We have an unsub,” Gideon began. When we first met nearly three long years ago, I never anticipated that Jason Gideon would give me away to Spencer at our wedding. We had decided to get married spontaneously after work one day, employing Gideon to be our legal witness as we  went to a small courthouse in nearby Montclair to elope. He told me how odd it was now to call me Mrs. Reid, but he said that the title suited me well. “That’s targeting young men.”

“Who doesn’t?” JJ scoffed.  

“Yes, but he’s a bit different,” Gideon said. “He targets young fathers. All of the victims were between the ages of 25 and 30 and had children that were born within three months of their murder. When interviewed, every mother revealed that their babies had been conceived out of wedlock.” 

“What’s that mean?” Spencer asked with a gaze full of curiosity. 

JJ laughed. “Spence, you of all people should know what that is,” she said. 

“Why, because I’m a genius?” Spencer asked with a smirk. “Contrary to what you think, JJ, I don’t know everything.” 

“No,” I replied with a sweet smile. “You should know what that is because Baby was conceived out of wedlock.” I gently patted my swelling tummy, and Spencer’s face flushed with embarrassment. 

“Oh,”  he said. “Noted.” 

“It seems like our unsub has a religious motive,” Gideon said. “Maybe targeting those who live in sin. Hotch, see if you can find anything in the crime scenes that might connect to Christianity in any way.” 

“Why specifically Christianity?” I asked. 

“Most people that are committed of murder and incarcerated in America are Christian,” Spencer began. “There are more documented cases of a crime scene being labeled with words like ‘Satan’ or people saying that God told them to, and other Christian imagery; you hardly see Islamic or Jewish intentions behind killings like this.” 

“So, it’s usually Christians?” I clarified. “But factor in a margin of error--” 

“The margin is small enough to make looking for exclusively Christian material viable,” Spencer replied. He gave me his tight lipped Muppet smile, and I couldn’t help but smile back. 

“Fine, you out-logiced me,” I sighed. “What’s that, the third time this week?”

“Fourth,” Morgan said with a chuckle. “Five, if you count the coffee jab on Monday.” 

“The doctor said it was fine!” I exclaimed. “Just a little every so often!”

“But statistically--” Spencer began. 

“I love you to pieces,” I sighed. “But if you give me another statistic right now, I will kill you, Dr. Reid.” 

“Fine,” Spencer said. “If you say so, Mrs. Reid.” 

“Garcia’s working on finding a common link other than the obvious,” Gideon said. “Reid, I want you to talk to the mothers again; maybe you might be able to get something out of them that the others haven’t. And Reid… Doctor, start on a geographic profile. Focus on churches of stricter denominations in the area.” With that, we all got up to depart off to our work. 

“How’re you today?” Spencer asked, taking my hand to help me out of my chair. At six months, I had a significant bump that made maneuvering around difficult, and it was no wonder that Gideon assigned me to interview the mothers. I was as certain as he was that I could get some hidden information out of them that Hotch or the non-pregnant Elle just couldn’t. People usually reacted differently to a pregnant woman in normal circumstances as well, so it was a safe bet. 

“Just the normal,” I replied.

“Back ache, headaches,” Spencer began listing off all of my normal symptoms. “Hungry?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I have crackers on my desk.”

“Good ole’ JJ,” Spencer chuckled. “Are you… Are you alright to work on this case?”

“Of course,” I said. “I’ve had to work worse cases.”

“But not when you’re…” Spencer began and struggled for words. “As emotional as you are now.”

“Maybe I can use that to my advantage,” I said. “Not everything has to be a setback, Spence.”

“If you’re really not alright with it, I can talk to Gideon,” Spencer said. 

I gently patted his cheek. “I’m a big girl, my love,” I told him. “I can do it. But I am fine, I promise.”

“Hey there,” I said, entering the cool interrogation room. The young woman’s eyes locked onto my stomach immediately, and her shoulders fell from their defensive position. “My name’s Special Agent Y/N Reid, I just want to ask you a few questions. Is that alright, Mrs. Barder?”

“Miss,” the woman said softly. “Yes, that’s alright.”

“Oh, sorry about that,” I said. “Umm, call me Reid. It’s easier. So, what can you tell me about Travis?”

She sighed. The file said her name was Elizabeth, but I was waiting for her to tell me that. People tended to be more personable when they were under the impression that you knew only what they told you. “He was nice,” she said and shrugged. “A good boyfriend, a good father.” 

I nodded gently. “Explain that to me,” I said. “What constitutes a good father to you?”

Elizabeth shrugged again. I could tell by her body language, the raised shoulders and folded arms, that she was holding back and not allowing herself to become too comfortable with the environment. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I knew that I needed to get whatever information she was withholding out of her. “He helped me as much as he could,” she said finally. “When I was pregnant, he never complained when I flew off the handle, ya know? And he got up in the middle of the night to change Pammy’s diaper, he always let me sleep.”

I smiled. “Pammy’s a nice name,” I said. “And that’s your daughter?”

Elizabeth nodded. “We named her after my mom,” she said softly. Volunteering information that I hadn’t asked for was good. Her walls were coming down, brick by brick. 

“That’s really sweet,” I said. “We don’t know the little one’s gender yet, but, if it’s a boy, we’re naming him Gideon after a close friend.” 

“And if it’s a girl?” Elizabeth asked eagerly. 

“Erin,” I replied. “Another close friend of ours.” 

“That’s really nice,” Elizabeth said. “But, umm, yeah, Trav was good. He volunteered at our church a lot, and it was nice to have all of them behind us.” 

Nowhere in earlier interviews did she mention a church. I nodded and made a small note of it, and I asked, “Was it a big church?”

“Not really,” Elizabeth said. “Big for the backwoods, but not huge. Maybe 100 people altogether.”

“That sounds nice,” I said. “What’s the name of the church for me, please?”

“Mount Zion,” Elizabeth told me. “It’s nondenominational, but Christian.”

“Alright,” I nodded. “And no offense is meant by this question, but I’m required to ask: did your boyfriend ever do anything strange? Like, suspicious with money or hanging out with weird people?” A moment passed, and I added, “If someone asked me that about my husband, I’d freak, so I understand if this question makes you uncomfortable.”

Elizabeth looked at her hands as she thought, and mumbled, “He went out to get drinks a few weeks before he…” she cleared her throat and said, “Ya know, before he… Died. It was a group of them from church just hanging out, but Trav mentioned that a new guy tagged along that was really strange.”

I sat up straighter. “Alright,” I said slowly. “Strange how? Did Travis describe it?”

“He just said that he was really off-putting,” Elizabeth told me. 

“His name?” I asked. “If you don’t know, that’s totally okay.”

“Something with a T,” Elizabeth said. “And the last name was weird too.” I couldn’t blame her for not remembering; if my pregnancy brain was any indication of the years to come, I would be forgetting a lot too. “Toby… Maybe? Toby?”

I wrote down Toby ?. “Okay,” I said. “Did Toby go to the church?”

“He visited,” Elizabeth said. “He was a strange-looking guy. Looked like the guy from Dawson’s Creek, ya know? I would have remembered seeing him before.” A moment passed, and she said “Hankel.”

Toby Hankel. “How certain are you that that’s the name?” I asked. 

“I’m certain it’s Hankel,” Elizabeth said. “But shaky about the Toby part. I know it’s a T name, but it’s not coming to me.”

I nodded. “Right,” I said. “Well, Miss Barder, this has been extremely helpful. I’m gonna give you my phone number in case you can come up with that name or anything else that might help us with the investigation, and you can call day or night. As I’m sure you can gather, I’m always awake.”

Elizabeth chuckled. “Thanks,” she said. “Agent Reid, right?”

“Right,” I told her. I gave her one of my business cards and at the last moment noticed that it was one of Spencer’s. It shouldn’t have surprised me; I wore his jacket instead of my own. “Oh, whoops, that’s my husband’s card. I don’t have any of mine on me, but call that cell number and ask for me, and you’ll get me.”

Elizabeth looked at the card. “Dr. Spencer Reid,” she read. “You’re married to a doctor?” 

“Not the useful kind,” I joked. “Mathematics degree, among others. He’s a nerd and a half.” 

“He sounds good,” Elizabeth told me softly. 

I carefully reached out and put a gentle hand on top of hers, and I said, “I know how hard this sucks, but I promise that Travis would be proud of you. You’re being so brave right now.”

Elizabeth sniffled. “Thanks,” she said. “That means a lot.”

Just as I was nodding, the door flew open, and a startled Hotch stood at the door. “Reid, we need you,” he said. “Now.” 

“Yeah, I’m almost finished,” I replied. “I’ll be right there.” 

“No, Y/N,” Hotch said firmly. He always used my last name, never my first. “We need you. Right now.”

“Hold on,” I said back. 

“It’s about Spencer,” Hotch said, and I froze. “We need you now.”

I nodded slowly. “Agent Hotchner, could you show Miss Barder out?” I asked softly. “And, uh, where does the Doc need me?” 

“Garcia’s office,” Hotch said. “Gideon’s already there.” 

I took a deep breath. “Well, uh, sorry to dip out,” I told Elizabeth. “But it was nice meeting you. I hope to see you again.”

My footsteps fell heavy in the hallway as I made my way to Garcia’s office. As I walked, my mind raced, trying to think why Hotch had been so cross with me. Was Spencer in trouble? Hurt? I knew that I was overreacting, but the thought of it made me walk just a bit faster. 

I pushed the door to Garcia’s dark office open, and I moved up next to Gideon. He was watching the computer screens intently, Elle at his side, and Garcia in her chair. Every single screen displayed a single image of my husband bound and gagged to a wooden chair, a small red light blinking every so often on his darkened form. “Gideon,” I whispered in horror. “What is this?” 

“Livestream,” Garcia answered in a hushed tone. “We can’t figure out where it’s coming from, the stream reroutes IP addresses every 30 seconds.”

“And we’re sure it’s live?” I asked. “I didn’t even know Spence had gone out into the field.”

“Neither did any of us,” Gideon told me. Carefully, his arm wrapped around my waist comfortingly, and I let out a single sob. I couldn’t see the video too well, but I saw Spencer sitting there, his head bent down, his hair in his face. His arms were tied roughly to the arms of the chair, missing his shoes, a tear in his shirt. 

“Is he alive?” I whimpered out. 

“Yes,” Gideon told me, and pointed at Spencer’s chest. It was moving, although shallowly, but it gave me hope. 

“Where is he?” I asked. “Who did this to him?”

“Okay, Gideon, she needs to get out of here,” Elle began, but I shook my head. 

“No,” I said, my tears streaming down my face. “I need to stay.” I saw her watch my hand as it covered my belly, and she nodded quietly. 

My eyes were glued to the screen as we all watched Spencer sit there. I couldn’t tell if he was conscious or not, and I couldn’t figure out which was worse. Finally, after standing there for what felt like days, the camera began to shake as someone picked it up. They moved it closer to Spencer and, with the angle change, came a new view. Spencer’s eyes were open, his mouth gulping in air as quickly as he could. His lip was bleeding, the blood pooling in his lap, and he let out a guttural gurgle as the person behind the camera grabbed a fistful of his curls and forced his head back. I watched him sputter out a mouthful of saliva and begin to choke on it, but he recovered quickly. “You think she’s watching?” a voice behind the camera asked. “You think they’re all watching?”

“Don’t you dare talk about my wife,” Spencer said with gritted teeth. A cold flash raced through my body and I tensed up in Gideon’s embrace. Whoever this man was holding Spencer hostage, he knew about me. 

“Oh, she’s your wife?” the man asked. “Where was that title when you got her pregnant?”

“Leave her out of this,” Spencer said, his bottom lip shining with spit and blood. “Whatever issue you have, it’s with me.”

“Haven’t you heard that saying, Doctor?” the man asked. “It takes two to tango?”

Spencer’s eyes finally fell on the camera, and his Adam’s apple throbbed as he struggled to swallow. “Where’s that video going?” he asked.

“To her,” the man said. “So that she can watch.”

Spencer began to breath frantically, his chest heaving, and he whispered, “I’m so sorry.” 

“Anything you have to say to her,” the man said. “You can say to God. No need to be quiet, Doctor.” 

“This has nothing to do with her,” Spencer said quickly. “It’s my fault, it’s my fault.” I saw tears on his cheeks, and he squeezed his eyes shut. “It’s my fucking fault.” 

“Admit your sins to God, boy,” the man told him. 

Spencer’s eyes opened. This time, he looked above him, and he began to weep. I had never seen Spencer cry like that, and it made me sick to my stomach. “I did this to her,” he mumbled. “I came home and I was drunk, and she didn’t-- She didn’t ask for this.” 

I shook my head violently as I bit my finger. He was lying. Why would he lie? 

“Y/N?” Elle whispered. “Is that true?”

“No,” I said quickly. “He never has and he never would.”

“So why’d he say it?” Elle asked. “To let his torturer hear what he wants to?”

I watched the screen for a few seconds more before whispering, “To send us a message.”

“You know what I think, Doctor?” the man asked, and the camera steadied as he put it down. “I think you’re a lying degenerate.” There was the sound of clinking glass, and Spencer took a deep breath. 

“Why would I lie about raping my wife?” He asked through clenched teeth.

“To save her,” the man said. “If you sinned, that’s one thing. If she did, I would have to find her too. And your child--”

“Don’t fucking talk about my child!” Spencer yelled. I had never heard him so frantic and angry. 

“Far too hostile,” the man said, clicking his tongue in disapproval. “Maybe this’ll calm you down.” Behind the camera, the sound of leather against cloth sounded, and Spencer began to thrash in his seat. 

“Please don’t,” he whimpered, all of his anger gone. “Please, I--” Before he could get any more words out, the man moved in front of the camera and began to secure a belt around the top of Spencer’s arm. I saw a light gleam off of a thin hypodermic needle, and I watched as the man sank the needle into Spencer’s arm and administered a drug to him. 

I rushed out of the office and collapsed on the floor. I felt sick and dizzy, and I didn’t even want to try to go back to the real world. My Spencer was being beaten and tortured, and we were no closer to finding him than before. It was enough to make me scream, and I did. Gideon was next to me in a second, putting his jacket around my shoulders and trying to help me up, but my legs were too weak to carry me. Gideon swiftly pulled me up into his embrace and carried me to his office, where it was quiet and cold. I curled up on his couch and cried, sobbing and choking and praying to a God that I didn’t believe in that Spencer would be okay. And if okay meant that he died to stop his suffering, then so be it.

[thorne93]

The Stars Made Us (Part 24)

Prompt: In this world, you’re one of the “lucky” ones who got a soulmate, but what if the universe gives you more than you bargained for?

(Prompt challenge – You live in a world where your soulmate can write on their skin and you will get the writing on your own and vice versa. Where they can wash away the ink on their own skin, however, the writing is forever scarred onto your skin until you meet face to face)

Word Count: 2142

Warnings: angst and language throughout

Notes: This was supposed to be for @sorryimacrapwriter​​​​​  and their challenge like a year ago, I think? I still loved the prompt though and have been working on this story for quite some time. This aesthetic was made by @quailliamyfears, thank you so much! Beta’d by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes​​​​​, couldn’t have done it without you, as well as @carryonmyswansong​​​​​ and @arrow-guy​​​​​ and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​​​​

Also, I’ve never really liked the whole soulmate AU thing idea, but this felt so right and it was amazing to write. I hope y’all love it too!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You walked out to the edge of the courtyard. It was the only place you could get a cell phone signal. You called Charles, not looking forward to the conversation you were about to have. 

“Hi, my love. It is so good to hear your voice. Are you coming home?” 

“No, uh, not yet.”

“When? I was thinking of renovating a room or two and I wanted your input--”

“I don’t know, Charles,” you said, your voice riddled with anxiety. 

“What do you mean you don’t know? Y/N, it’s been five months. This is only one of three calls I’ve gotten from you since you left for Nepal. How is it so hard to determine how long you will stay somewhere?”

“Because I can’t leave until he gets better.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m his mate?”

“So am I.”

“I stayed for your full recovery, Charles.” 

“I don’t see why you have to stay with him. I can understand helping him get there and get settled in, but he’s an adult.” 

“Yes, so were you. You even had your best friend, a doctor, living in with you. Creating miracle serums for you. He doesn’t have that. He only has me, and I’m not going to abandon him.”

“It’s been five months,” he reminded again. 

“And I’ve known you for eleven years. As I recall, it took a bit of time for you to get back on your feet as well. I was with you for nearly a year, helping you.” 

“You’re my mate.”

“I thought I wasn’t anyone’s property,” you shot back coolly.

“You’re not, but I do miss you and we did make a commitment to each other.”

“Oh, like the commitment we made when you decided to not notify me you were going off the grid? When I thought you were dead? When I begged you to give me a sign that you were still alive and you couldn’t do it? Where was the commitment then, Charles?” 

He sighed on the other end of the phone. 

“I know this isn’t fun, I never planned for this, and I do miss you, but I can’t and won’t leave him.” 

You could practically hear his jaw setting on the other side of the phone. 

“Do you love him?” 

“What kind of… What the hell does that matter right now?” you asked, thrown off by the random interrogation. 

“Do, you, love, him?” he stressed. 

“Why? Does my answer somehow sway your next actions or words?” 

“No.”

“Then the answer to that  isn’t of any importance, Charles.”

“I miss you, Y/N and I don’t mean in the lighthearted sense. I yearned for you for ten years. I fell in love with you through words on my skin, through words on a screen. I saved myself for you and I didn’t date or look at another soul. We finally have a chance to be together, to start our lives and it’s interrupted by… all of this. I supported you when you left but it’s getting harder every day without you.” 

You threw your hands to the side, exasperated. “It’s hard for me too. I hate not being able to see you. I was over the moon when we met and I never expected any of this. But it’s happened, and we have to deal with it. When you sent me off with your blessing did you just think I’d show up, be his nurse, and come home to you? You’re not that dense, Charles. At some point, it had ot occur to you that he is my mate too, and what we have, what we formed goes beyond the initial stage of meeting. Just as you and I did, Stephen and I will move past the phase of nurse-patient. We already have. He’s moved into the role of a student here, and I’m his friend. Like it or not, this is what’s happening, and I won’t abandon him in his time of need. It's not who I am, or who I’ve ever been. If you don’t understand that about me by now, then perhaps we aren’t as close as I thought.” 

“I don’t think it’s too much to ask for more correspondence. You told me yourself you can make portals. So make a portal to come see me, even if it's for five minutes.” 

“I can’t. I’m not a student here and I don’t feel comfortable using what I’ve picked up on without being an official student of the Ancient One.” 

“Great, so some arbitrary rule stands between you visiting me, when you’re more than capable of doing so. It’s fantastic to know where I stand, really.” 

“I gave up everything for you. I nearly died from grief over you. I left my family, my home, my practice, all to help you and to live with you. I don’t think I ever have to prove my love or loyalty to you, and I don’t appreciate having to do it now. 

In a sorrowful voice, he said, “All I want, is for the love of my life to come home to me. If that makes me a horrible person, then so be it. Sorry for requesting more of your time. I won’t make that mistake again.” 

The call ended, and you looked down at your phone. A flurry of sadness and anger hit you like a hurricane. You gripped the phone hard before two hands were on your shoulders, sending a wave of calm over you.

“I’m taking it didn’t go well,” he commented.

You shook your head, tears rolling down your face.

“Come here,” he coaxed, as you turned and he wrapped his arms around you. You began sobbing and he just rubbed your back, consoling you, kissing your hair. 

------------------------------

You explained to Stephen what had Charles upset. Typically you kept them somewhat separate from each other. You updated Charles on What Stephen was doing, how he was mentally or physically, but you didn’t get into details of Stephen’s life or his personality. Almost as if he were a patient you kept an eye on and you were trying to keep to HIPPA policies. 

The same went for Stephen. You never told Stephen that Charles was a mutant or that he was a telepath. You never told Stephen about your conversations with Charles except that you were going to give him an update, or check in with him. But the actual content of the conversations were never discussed. 

Ultimately, both men knew you talked to the other, and kept updates on each other, but that was as far as it went. 

This time though, things needed to be clear. Stephen needed to know why you were crying and Charles had a bit more insight to your situation with Stephen, so you felt it was fair. 

“He just misses me is all, and I think he’s afraid I’ll stay here with you and not go home to him.” 

Stephen nodded. He had an odd look on his face that you couldn’t decipher. “I can understand the concern. You’re his first mate.” 

You bobbed your head. “Right, but right now, I don’t know what I’m going to do. You’re both my mates and right now, we’re taking it one day at a time. To be honest, I don’t want to choose..”

Stephen nodded, his eyes drifting down to the floor. “Well, you may not have to. What if you visited him every other day? You know how to open gateways. You aren’t a student here, so technically you don't have to abide by any rules.”

“You’d be okay with that?” you asked, a bit surprised. 

“I’m okay with the idea that I’m not ruining a decade long relationship. If you need to go see him, I’m fine with that. I’m sure the Ancient One wouldn’t care if you used your sorcery for hopping back and forth between here and New York. You’re not doing anything devious or conniving. You’re visiting a loved one.” 

You nodded. “I suppose you’re right.” 

You were going to ask the Ancient One in a few days, when Charles had cooled down and so had you. But the training picked up as Mordo introduced mystical artifacts  and relics into the fighting, so you became focused on learning all of them and learning how to fight and use them. 

One afternoon, after a sorcery session with Mordo, and class had been dismissed, you walked out, armed with two wooden batons. 

“Ah, again? Y/N,” he said, leaning over trying to catch his breath. “I already trained today and then I just went through an hour of sorcery practice.” 

“Yes, and you will continue to practice.” 

“Easy for you to say, you haven’t been doing anything all day,” he shot at you with a half-smirk. 

“Alright, smartass, take a baton.” You tossed it to him. “Let’s see if you can fight as well as you talk shit.”

“Oh, I assure you, I can talk way more shit,” he said with a wide grin. 

You laughed before charging at him. He held up his stick in both hands, blocking the blow, before you pulled it down and whacked him in the side of the waist. He leaned over in pain, but then he quickly hit the baton to the back of your leg, making you go to your knees. He put his elbow in your pressure point but you lowered your shoulder down away from his touch before spinning on your knee to get behind him and put him in a headlock. He reeled his arm back and slammed it into your ribs. You let him go instantly, wheezing in pain. 

You turned your head towards him before running at him and holding your baton behind your head before trying to swing it down at his face. He blocked the attack,  with both arms holding out to the left of him, keeping your baton at bay. The two of you were nearly nose to nose as you stared at each other. 

A sudden racing feeling occurred in your veins. He was so close. You could kiss him, just like you always wanted to do, but you needed to keep focus, needed to be sure you were training him. He started to push your baton down, and it didn’t take too much force as you were mesmerized by the look in his yes, the scent that came off of him. His lips looked more inviting than ever. 

Just as he was about to deliver the next blow to you, to keep up with training, a sudden rainstorm hit. Raindrops didn’t drop sporadically, the sky opened up as if a semi-truck filled with water poured down on you. The rushing of the rain surprised both you and Stephen as you straightened up before laughing. 

“Should we get inside?” Stephen yelled over the rain. 

“Yes, I think that’s wise,” you responded before the two of you took each other’s hands and ran to your bedroom. You stood at the end of the bed, turning to face Stephen. He was suddenly very close to you. His hands slowly crept their way up to your hair, his fingers sending shivers down your spine. 

“I love you,” he breathed, as if he wasn’t sure he wanted to say it or he wasn’t sure he was ready for your response. 

“‘I love you too,” you returned. 

He smiled before he tilted his head slightly and slowly lowered his lips to yours. 

A bomb exploded inside the two of you. What started out soft and tender suddenly became ravenous. Your hands went to his hair, his back, anything you could get your hands on. He pulled at the hem of your shirt and you tore at his robes. His mouth was frenzied on yours, and yours on his. You couldn’t get him close enough to you, fast enough. Nothing else mattered except getting him as close as humanly possible. 

You pulled away for a split second so he could pull your shirt off and you could work his off of him. He kissed down your neck, down between your cleavage. Your breathy pants couldn’t be heard over the rush of the rain outside.  

His hands scoured your back, unhooking your bra quickly before he pushed your pants down quickly, leaving you standing there in nothing but your panties. He pushed you down on the bed before nestling between your legs, continually kissing all over you. 

You slipped blissfully into euphoria with him as you weren’t sure where you ended and he began.  For the next several hours, you spent exploring, kissing, and melding your bodies and minds and you felt as if you were in total bliss. 

When you were lying in each other's arms, you felt the world melt away. Nothing mattered. No one else mattered. It was just the two of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[ssfghfrrggf]

Down is Faster than Up Chapter 4/ the final chapter

“Hey! Look who’s back!” Herrmann cries, as his gaze meets Stella’s

She’s greeted with whoops and cheers from everyone else as she walks into the common room for the first time in what feels like forever. She’s picked up her fair share of shifts at Molly’s the last week or so, but it still feels like it’s been forever since she’s seen everyone; it’s different seeing everyone at Molly’s than it is seeing them here at the house.

“How are you feeling Momma?” Mouch asks, standing up to give her hug.

“Good as new and ready to be driving 81 again,” she says cheerfully and hugs Mouch back.

“Aw! Right off the bat she’s reestablishing her dominance!” Casey jokes from where he’s standing next to the counter sipping his morning cup of coffee.

“You’re sure I can’t drive one last shift?” Mouch asks, his tone playful and teasing.

“You’ve had a month and a half to drive that thing, I’m taking my seat back,” Stella laughs. She’s missed the swing of things, driving the truck, the banter with the crew… all of it.

“Are you sure you still know how to drive?” Gallo asks, with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Excuse me, what’d you say candidate?” Stella says and puts her hands on her hips.

“Nah-ah-ah. Not candidate anymore, old lady,” Gallo replies, grinning from ear to ear.

“You wanna repeat what you just said?” Stella demands, pinning him down with a playful glare, and making a side mental note to congratulate him on completing his candidacy.

“Why? Did you forget your hearing aides?” Gallo asks, with a victorious smirk.

“Nah, it all sounded like gibberish baby talk to me. Little baby Andy can form better words than you,” Stella retorts, and Gallo opens and closes his mouth a few times trying to find some witty clap back. Ritter gives him a comforting pat on the back.

“It’s okay man, no one wins against Stella with these things,” Ritter says quietly, and hands his friend a cup of coffee. “Drink this.”

“That’s right,” Stella gloats. “Drink the bitter taste of defeat.”

“Alright,” Casey says, chuckling to himself. “How are you?”

“100%, Captain,” Stella replies. “The doctor gave me the all clear and I’m ready for full duty. I got the paperwork in my bag.”

“How’s Severide?” Cruz asks hopefully. She can’t help but wonder if he’s been the acting lieutenant this whole time; she knows everyone here, except probably Matt and Sylvie, are expecting Kelly to make a push to come back, but she’s pretty sure he won’t. He seems pretty committed to the idea of being a stay at home dad, which after everything that happened she’s more than okay with. She’s just sure if he’ll really be happy; he’s not a sit around and doing nothing all day kind of guy.

“He’s walking on his own two feet again,” she reports. “The physical therapist is impressed with how quickly he’s turning it around.”

“Any idea when he’s coming back?” Capp asks. “We miss having him around.”

“Not really sure, guys. He’s still got a lot of recovering to do, and not just physically,” Stella replies. There’s times she worries about him; what happened to him produced a real shock to his system.

“You have paperwork to give to Boden, right?” Casey asks, interrupting the conversation about Kelly.

“Yes, I do,” Stella replies, grateful for the shift in discussion. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could stay on that conversation path without accidentally saying something about Kelly thinking about retirement.

“Let’s go get it filed and make sure he knows you’re here.”

“Thanks for the save, Casey,” Stella says once their a little ways down the hallway.

“He’s still thinking he’s not going to come back?” Casey asks, sounding disappointed.

“Yeah, he really hasn’t even talked about doing any of this physical therapy so he can come back here, it’s all just for Andy and being able to do things with him,” Stella replies with a smile. She’s always known Kelly would be a good dad, but she never really imagined he’d give up squad for it. Thinking about him retiring is a bitter sweet thought, she’ll miss him being at work with her, but knowing he’s safe at home is more than she’d ever even let herself hope for.

“You don’t think he’ll get bored?” Casey asks as they reach Boden’s door.

“I’m really not sure. He seems content right now,” She says before opening the door to the chief’s office.

A look of pure joy floods across the battalion chief’s face as she opens the door, and he stands up grinning ear to ear. “Kidd! I thought I smelled something stinking up my house!”

“Happy to see you, too chief,” Stella replies with a laugh and offers him a hand shake. He skips her hand and goes straight for a hug instead. After a couple seconds he pulls away and straightens himself up.

“I’m glad you’re back. The house isn’t the same without you around,” he says clearing his throat. “The place wasn’t the same without you around.”

“Glad to be back, sir,” Stella replies and hands him her papers. “And I’m cleared for full duty, here’s all the paperwork.”

“You’re feeling ready to be back?” Boden asks, thumbing through the papers. “There’s no rush. You’re spot on 81 is safe, if you want to take a few more weeks.”

“Top of my game chief,” Stella reports confidently.

Boden looks from her to Casey and nods. “What’s the word on Kelly?”

Stella glances sideways at Casey who nods and closes the door.

“He’s not sure if he’s coming back,” Stella says, clearing her throat. Kelly had given her permission to tell Boden if he asked. “And he’d like for that to stay between the three of us until he decides for sure.”

The chief nods understandingly. “I never thought Kelly Severide would retire before me. How serious is he?”

“He seems to mean it, at least right now. There’s no saying he won’t get bored down the line and want back in; but this was a real reality check for him, chief,” Stella replies. It was a reality check for both of them. “He wants to make sure he’s around for Andy.”

“Tell him to take all the time he needs, and that no matter what he decides he’s always welcome here, and that 51 is his family.”

“I will, chief. Thank you,” Stella replies, and Boden looks like he’s about to say more, but the bell rings and interrupts him. Stella can’t help but smile a little, everything works exactly the way it used to.

***

Severide can’t remember the last time he saw the station empty; it’s strange and unnatural walking into the station and finding the bay empty and the squad table desolate. 

“Well, Andy, we were going to say hi to mom at work,” Kelly says adjusting his son’s position in his arms, as he turns taking in the empty apparatus floor. It makes him nervous and antsy, like he shouldn’t be here like he should be out on the call with the rest of 51. It also makes him nervous for Stella, whatever call they’re out on, it’s a big one if everyone is out of the house. “Guess we’ll have to do a tour instead.”

He casts one last glance over his shoulder at the empty bay before letting himself inside the main building. The only sounds inside are the noise of air coming in through the ceiling vents and the sound of the TV still playing in the common room. Kelly sighs and makes his way to the couch; he’s half tempted to turn back around and go to the squad table, but the thought of doing that feels wrong somehow. If he’s quitting, then it’s not really his squad table anymore… just like this won’t really be his house anymore- his home away from home. Out of respect, he doesn’t sit in Mouch’s spot on the couch even though the old firefighter isn’t there.

He’d always imagined becoming an old firefighter in this house, hoped for it really. It had always seemed so right, but now he’s not sure. Everything has changed so much for him so fast; being a firefighter was all he’d ever wanted, but now he’s a dad and it seems to be the only thing he wants now.

It’s not long before the sound of the trucks pulling back into the station startles Kelly out of his thoughts and brings him back to reality.

“Now that’s not a sight I ever thought I’d see,” Mouch says coming into the common room shaking his head happily. “Kelly Severide with a kid.”

“What are you talking about?” Herrmann declares with a mischievous tone his voice. “I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner with the amount of-”

Mouch cuts him off with a scolding glare and Herrmann just shrugs innocently.

“You wanna hold him?” Kelly offers, ignoring Herrmann’s comment.

“Of course I do!” Herrmann says reaching out his hands to take Andy. “Come’er big guy!”

“Hey! Lieutenant!” Cruz dealers gleefully, obviously thrilled to see him, as he comes through the door followed by Casey, Gallo, Ritter, and finally, Stella.

“See, I knew you couldn’t survive more than a couple hours without me,” Stella teases lovingly and scoots past Cruz to get to him.

“No, I just knew you couldn’t survive a couple hours without me and Andy, so i decided to come down to the house,” Kelly replies softly as Stella wraps her arms around him and rests her chin on his shoulder. He didn’t realize until now how much he really needed the hug from her.

“So when are you planning on making your triumphant return?” Cruz asks, walking over to the counter to retrieve an apple.

“Yeah, the house really isn’t the same without you around,” Herrmann adds, bouncing Andy gently on his hip.

Kelly pulls himself out of Stella’s hug and rests his arm over her shoulder as he looks around the room. For the longest time, this place was home, the single balanced constant in his life, and in many ways it always will be. And all these people are his family. It feels wrong to walk away from it, but in many ways it also seems so right. He glances to Stella, who sadly doesn’t hold the answers he’s looking for only the key to his heart, she and Andy are the only things he needs.

“I don’t think I am, Cruz,” Severide finally says. Telling them he’s not sure would’ve been easier, but they’re his family and they all deserve to know the truth. There’s a shocked silence. “I haven’t decided anything for sure yet, but I almost died before getting to meet my kid so it gave me a lot to think about. I don’t want to miss a second of watching him grow up.”

Herrmann is the first one to break the leftover silence after Severide finishes his explanation, and he has a big smile on his face as he does so. “I never thought you’d retire before me and Mouch. And I feel inclined to talk you out of this because you’re the best damn firefighter I’ve ever seen, but I’m not gonna. If it’s what you feel the need to do for your kid, then you go right on ahead and do it. We’ll all have your back no matter what you decide. Besides, looking at this cute little face, I can’t say I blame you.”

“I’ll drink a toast to that after shift!” Mouch agrees and gives Kelly a pat on the shoulder. “Retirement with a nice family is the best thing you can hope for in this job. We’re happy for you.”

Cruz still looks stunned and confused, but he nods his head in agreement. “You do what you have to do lieutenant.”

“Thanks man,” Kelly says and gives him a firm handshake. If he decides to go through with this, after all, he’ll have to recommend Cruz for a promotion to lieutenant. He can’t think of any better hands to leave squad three in.

Then he looks across the room to Casey, who gives him a simple affirming head nod. It's a simple gesture, but it says everything that needs to be said as they reach a silent understanding. A long time ago he, Casey, and Darden had joked about running the house together someday; one of them as chief and the others as captains, and then eventually retiring together. They were young, dreams were dreams, and ambition was everything. Then things had changed. Darden had died. Sev had still hung onto the idea of running the place with Casey someday, and he’s pretty sure Casey did too. But there are some things worth letting go of ambition for. Family is definitely one of those things, and Casey understands that.

[damnzawa]

OOOOOO i love the different aus!! may i request,, perhaps,, an afterlife au with ojiro? he’s a good, hardworking young man who passed away after an accident at work and was taken to the underworld, but the reader (who’s the god of death) takes a liking to him and wants to marry him? thank you so much and congrats on 200!!

EXTRAORDINARY YOU — O. MASHIRAO

Warning(s): Mentions of death.

Note(s): This is part one! There will be two or three parts to this fic. Why? Just felt like it. Anyways, expect a steady increase of fic posts in this week! I had the energy and the inspiration to write some lol. Enjoy!

Word Count: 1.3k

Ojiro was a hardworking man. Though, he was borderline workaholic. Nevertheless, Ojiro was a hardworking man. He never skipped a day nor took an extra day off. He never submitted a project, files, or a proposal past the deadline, if ever he always submitted them 2 or 3 days prior. He never disobeyed orders from his boss nor made them angry. All in all, he was the perfect little employee. Polite, hardworking, diligent, neat, he was the best.

But, despite working hard, Ojiro was alone. No family, no friends, no significant other. His family had their own lives to take care of, he never really stayed in touch with his friends, and why would he look for a significant other when he couldn't even take care of himself?

He never had the time to look for or take care of a special someone. Never had the time to go on dates. Never had the time to live the life he was blessed with. All of his time was dedicated to work.

Work. Work. Work.

He worked hard and that's what had gotten him killed.

On a friday, Ojiro Mashirao was announced dead due to overworking. At first, his coworkers thought he just lost consciousness, but when they couldn't hear the beating of his heart, that's when they knew he was dead. They immediatly called an ambulance but it was too late. He was too far gone. He was too tired to even notice the dull ache and pain all over his body. He was too stressed to take care of himself. Too focused. Too engrossed.

That friday, Ojiro watched it all from the side. The way his body was carried away to a nearby hospital. The way the doctors tried their best but failed anyways. He watched it all. He watched it all in agony.

In that time he realized how precious time was. He realized how much things he could've done, how many things he could've said, how wise he could've spent his time, but it was too late. He was dead. And once death came knocking on your door, there was no turning back.

The flatline kept staring at him as he looked down on his body. Tears slowly streaming down on his face. He was too late.

"Ojiro-san?" A voice snapped him out of his grief. He quickly wiped his tears as he faced the direction of where the voice came from.

There stood a figure, all clad in black. Emotionless and looking tired, more so than him.

'Must be a grim reaper.' He thought.

'"Ojiro-san. It's time to go." The figure offered their hand to him in a graceful way. He reluctantly placed his hand on top of theirs and let the figure lead the way.

Go where exactly? Heaven?

As if reading Ojiro's thoughts, the figure immediately replied, "It's time to go to the Underworld, Ojiro-san."

Eyes flicking through the souls who just entered the Underworld, you let out a bored yawn. Being the Goddess of Death has its perks sure but the work that came with it? You'd rather go to a meeting with your siblings than power through this job. And that's saying a lot about how boring this job is.

"Y/n-sama." An assistant of yours called you out, making you more alert than ever. "You're sleeping on the job again."

"If you were in my shoes, you would do the same. This job is tiring and boring at the same time. Now I know why a lot of Gods and Goddesses avoided this responsibility." You replied as you continued to filter out the 'good' and the 'bad' souls. 'Good' souls, contrary to popular belief, doesn't go to heaven. They get a 'special' spot in the Underworld and has the choice to work for you, to just live in the Underworld, or be reborn — if they haven't used all of their lives yet. The 'bad' ones though, also gets a 'special' spot in the Underworld. It's where they repent for their sins and pay for all the bad choices they have made in life.

"If only you had a King to rule beside you, Y/n-sama. Only then, would your workload and your life would lighten."

"You know how I feel about other Gods." You replied, your face and voice full of disgust. Other Gods — some of them anyways — were disgusting. They often abusing their power to feed their greed, and committing the same sins humans repent for in the Underworld. What a bunch of pigs.

"Oh no, Y/n-sama. I'm not talking about a God. A human." Your assistant corrected. "Well, it's just a silly suggestion anyways. It's almost time for a break, Y/n-sama. Care for tea?"

"Coffee, please." You answered. "Would you mind getting me some biscuits on the way too?"

"I'll get to it right away, Y/n-sama." And with that, you were left alone again.

After a while, your mind drifted back to what your assistant suggested. A human? For a king? How foolish. You certainly couldn't imagine ruling beside one. Most humans were impure, but then again... so were some of the Gods. But still, you had doubts about them.

Besides, you're not really looking for someone right now, other than someone to help you lighten your workload.

That was you thought until a certain someone caught your eye.

The human was very simple. In human terms, 'a basic bitch'. He doesn't stand out at all. There wasn't special about him either. Well other than the fact that he was very very very hardworking.

You smirked as you dialed the phone, perhaps, your assistant's suggestion wasn't foolish at all.

"Hello? Yes, get me the soul that Reaper 110831 brought in. Right away."

Ojiro was taken aback when the reaper that was escorting him suddenly changed paths. The reaper looked shocked, nervous even, so Ojiro didn't ask any questions.

Prior to the change, Ojiro was informed about everything he needed to know while in the Underworld. He was given the opportunity to choose between wanting to work — he was slowly despising the word as time passes by — for the Goddess of Death, to just live in the Underworld as peaceful, law abiding citizen, or to be reborn. Unfortunately for him though, he supposedly used all of his lives before, therefore he can't be reborn anymore.

If he chose to work for you, the Queen of the Underworld, the Goddess of Death, the compensation was generous. A lot more than minimum wage. In fact, it's not even close to minimum wage. You get a lot of benefits from it too, like having the ability to visit Heaven — if permitted of course. If he chose to live as a simple citizen, he would be given what he needs every month like allowance, a new set of clothes and etc. but that was it. No special benefit from it.

Ojiro's inner workaholic's leaning towards the work option.

Shaking his head, he studied his environment. His surroundings look like what a city would look like. Not exactly what he expected from the Underworld. He expected things like maybe, fire everywhere? Eternal suffering? Not this... highly advanced and economically stable place.

It was definitely a surprise to see how nice Underworld is. It wasn't cold, he could see families and people everywhere enjoying their day, it was... comfortingly warm. It was like a home. A home for the dead.

It's a nice surprise, indeed.

They soon approached a large building. It looked like it was a headquarters of something.

"110831, you've arrived early as expected."

On the top floor of the building, your assistant sweatdropped at what you just informed them.

"Y/n-sama, please don't take what I said seriously. It was just—"

"Oh hush. It's been decided. Besides if the human tries anything, I'll purge his soul immediately." Your assistant gulped at the deadly tone of your voice which greatly contrasted your smiling face. Later, you heard the doors open, letting in the human you saw earlier.

"Welcome, Ojiro Mashirao. I'm L/n Y/n, the Goddess of Death. Mind if we have a little chat?"