#faad: i believe you

[babyjakes]

forever and a day | 40. i believe you.

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summary | a story in which america’s favorite captain gives a new life and family to a five-year-old girl who has suffered well beyond her years at the hands of hydra.

characters | dad!steve rogers, girl/willa rogers (original character)

warnings | AU similar enough to OU to include spoilers to many Marvel movies (Age of Ultron and beyond). action and fight scenes with violence and killing. injuries/mild gore. mature themes related to and semi-graphic depictions of child abuse/neglect, past CSA and CSM, and their aftermath (emaciation, wounds, scarring, etc). medical abuse and experimentation. ptsd/trauma symptoms in a child (developmental discrepancies, de-humanized behavior, detachment, extreme fears). medical treatment of CSM and other aftermath of abuse.trauma-informed therapeutic treatment of ECT. minor mentions of disordered eating. themes relating to abuse of power/authority and immoral interrogation tactics including SA (with brief depictions.) evil!Tony Stark.

[Steve]

“Alright Cap, as much as I’d love to stay up longer and keep talking… I’m pretty beat,” Bruce admits from across the table. Glancing down at my watch, I see that it’s nearing 11:30pm. Willa was put to bed a while ago; after she went down I decided to venture back out into the rest of the group. The overall mood throughout the evening has been positive. More than anything, it just feels good to be back with all of my friends. Tony and I haven’t shared a single word, but for now, I’m okay with that. Being the first night back, he probably figured both Bucky and I would want some space. I still don’t know how I’m going to approach him about what happened to Willa at the airport. Something needs to be done, of course; I’m just not sure what yet.

For about a half-hour or so now, it’s just been the doctor and I, as everyone else has retired to bed. Our conversation has mostly been about Willa. Bruce was able to pop in before I put her to bed to check over her. In talking with him, he’s gone over some options we have in regards to treating her burns. He said that she got very lucky, and that he was fairly sure she had a good chance at a full recovery. This news has been a huge relief. Really, the whole conversation has meant a lot to me. It’s clear that he’s been worried about Willa ever since we left, and now that we’re back, I’m glad that I can place so much trust in the man in charge of her medical care.

“Yeah, it’s getting pretty late, huh?” I nod understandingly. Bruce rises from his chair and smiles at me, his eyes softening as they meet mine.

“We’re glad to have you back, Cap. You and the little one were greatly missed,” he speaks genuinely.

“Thank you, Bruce. It’s great to be back,” I say, returning the smile. He nods at me, then turns and heads for the hallway, leaving me alone in the large open living space.

Taking a moment to close my eyes, I draw in a long breath through my nose, allowing my muscles to relax. It’s been quite a long day. I can’t wait to climb into my own bed and get some much-needed sleep. But before I can do that, there’s still one more thing I need to take care of…

Opening my eyes again, I stand, pushing my chair under the table. I make my way over to the kitchen and pull out a pot, filling it with water in the sink. Setting it down on the stove, I turn the burner on medium, watching as tiny bubbles begin to form at the bottom of the metal pot. Going into the spices cabinet, I rummage around until I find the small green tin I’m looking for, all the way at the back. Carefully, I open up the old rusted box and pull out a packet. Lavender. I remember on Wanda’s first night at the tower, she asked for a cup of lavender tea. “It helps when I’m anxious,” she had told us. Ever since, I’ve made sure to keep a fresh stock on hand.

Pulling out a second packet for myself, I close and return the tin to the cabinet. When I come back to the pot, the water’s boiling steadily, and I flick off the burner, grabbing two maroon mugs and pouring them each full with the water. Tearing open the paper envelopes, I drop a pouch in each mug, the strings dangling over the sides delicately. With a mug in each hand, I return to the table, setting one down at the head seat and one at the chair beside it. Taking a moment, I sigh, running a hand through my hair. I just hope she’ll open up to me. When she snapped out of her panicked state earlier, she was trying so hard to act like she was fine. But it’s painfully obvious that she’s not. And I don’t know how to help her if I don’t know what’s wrong.

Taking another deep breath, I make my way over to the hallway, walking quietly across the wooden floor until I reach the teen’s door. A faint glow shines out from underneath it, telling me that her lamp is still on. Knocking lightly against the wood a few times, I call in softly, “Wanda? It’s Steve. You still up?”

Soft shuffling can be heard from behind the door; soon, it opens in front of me to reveal the teen. From the looks of it, she’s changed since I saw her earlier. She’s pulled her hair up into a messy bun and wrapped herself up in a white blanket. With the hallway lights now hitting her face, I can really see how sick she’s truly become. She’s much skinnier than she was the last time I saw her, and the bags under her eyes are deep and dark. the girl glances up at me, and I try to keep my heartbreak from seeping onto my face.

“Hey kiddo,” I breathe, momentarily at a loss for words. Up until today, I’ve always seen Wanda as just one of us adults. Of course I’ve known that she’s a teenager, but she’s just always held herself to such a high standard of presentation that it’s been hard to tell her apart from the others. Peter’s obviously the baby of the team, and I honestly would usually forget that he and Wanda were similar in age. But now, looking at the broken girl in front of me, it’s really sinking in how young she is, and maybe how wrong it’s been of me to treat her like something she’s not. “I made us some tea,” I say finally. “Will you come sit with me?” A look of great hesitancy flashes in her eyes. “I just wanna talk.”

“Nothing to talk about,” she mumbles quietly.

I raise my eyebrows gently at her, trying to hold onto her gaze. I know that’s not true, I want to say, but I don’t want to push her into anything, especially not right here in the hallway. “It’s lavender tea. Please? I’ve missed you,” I try. Wanda sighs, her eyes dropping to the floor.

“Fine,” she gives in. Smiling at her gratefully, I lead the way back through the hallway and out into the common space.

The girl follows slowly behind me, her feet dragging painfully beneath her. A warm, rich lavender scent hits us as we enter the room, and she looks up for a moment, a softness forming on her face. Walking her over to the table, I pull out the chair at the head for her. Carefully and slowly, she lowers herself down. I take a seat next to her, wrapping a hand around my mug.

The teen peers down at her own and brings her shaking hands up to clasp it on both sides. The mug rattles slightly against the table from her quivering, and I’m concerned to find that tears have built up in her eyes. “Wanda,” I begin sadly. “Hey-”

“Sorry,” she mumbles, bringing a shaking hand up and wiping at her eyes harshly. “Thank you, Steve. You- you didn’t have to do this.”

“Don’t be sorry,” I murmur softly, “and of course; I just hope it helps, even a little.” Wanda raises the mug to her lips and takes a swallow, her tears spilling over and running down her cheeks as she blinks. Setting her mug down, she dabs at her face with the blanket. Her eyes stay low, unable to face me. “Wanda,” I say again, wrapped up in so much sadness and worry for the poor girl. “Can you look at me?”

“I’m sorry,” she replies again, shaking her head. “I’m just- I’ll stop. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay,” I reassure her quickly, “it’s okay to cry. I won’t judge you for that.”

“I’m fine, I-I promise. I-” She chokes on her words, hiccuping as another round of tears hit. “-I-I’m fine, Steve.”

“Wanda,” I breathe, wishing so badly I knew what was troubling the kid. “Please. Tell me what’s going on.” Her head hangs low, her gaze locked on the table beneath her as she continues to cry, not even attempting to wipe away the evidence anymore. Her tears drip down onto the surface, forming a puddle next to her mug. “I promise, no matter what it is, it’s safe to tell me. I just wanna help you, kiddo.”

“D-don’t call me that,” she snaps coldly, the edge to her voice taking me aback. “Please,” she continues after a moment of silence, softer this time, “just don’t. I-I’m not a kid. Not yours, or anyone else’s,” she says coldly, her voice laced with a thick venom of hurt. “I’m not a child. I need to stop acting like one.”

“No. Wanda, stop,” I beg, hating how hard she is on herself. “You’re still a kid, to me and to everyone else. I know we don’t act like it, and we should. I’m sorry, Wanda. We put way too much pressure on you. You have an old soul, and wisdom well beyond your years. But in the end, you’re still a kid. And we don’t take care of you like we should.”

“I don’t need taking care of,” the girl shakes her head. “I’m not Willa, or Peter, or- or…”

“But you’re you, Wanda,” I tell her softly, and her eyes finally find their way up to meet with mine. “And you deserve to be cared for too, just like Willa and Peter.” A fresh round of tears build up in her eyes as she keeps her gaze locked on mine, a sense of overwhelming longing appearing on her face. Her bottom lip begins to tremble and I lean in closer to her, asking her gently, “Please, Wanda. Will you let me take care of you?”

She blinks, a stray tear trailing down her cheek and off her chin. What she says next sets off a familiar alarm in my mind, her words dripping with vulnerability. “Y-you won’t believe me.”

“I know you think that, and I don’t know how I could convince you otherwise, but I promise you, Wanda, I promise you: I will believe you. I know you wouldn’t lie to me. I know you’re scared; you’re terrified, and that’s okay. I’m right here for you, I just need you to let me in.”

The teen takes in a shaky breath, closing her eyes for a few seconds as if to collect herself. When she opens them again, she looks back over at me, fear lingering in her gaze. “I-I didn’t want it,” she stammers. “I promise, I-I didn’t.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, not understanding.

“I tried to stop them- I tried, but they h-had my hands wrapped up and- and th-they were stronger than me, and I-I-”

“Woah, okay. Slow down. Deep breaths,” I murmur, not wanting the girl to work herself up into a panic attack. “Who was this? Was it when you were back in captivity?” Wanda nods, her fragile frame shaking against her chair. “Do you know who it was?”

“Th-they came every day to question us… there were three of them. Th-they didn’t give their names.”

“Okay, and you said they had your hands wrapped up? So you couldn’t use your powers?” She nods again in confirmation. “Okay. And they brought you to an interrogation room?” Another nod. “What did they do to you in there?”

Her head falls and she chokes back a sob, her hands squeezing into fists as they rest against the table. “I swear, Steve, I didn’t want it, I-I tried to make them stop, b-begged them to stop,” she stutters. “I screamed ‘no’ over and over… th-they just taped my mouth shut when they got sick of it… or th-they, th-they shoved their…”

My heart drops into the pit of my stomach as my worst fears are confirmed. “Oh my god. Wanda,” I breathe, shaking my head in shock.

“Please,” she whimpers, her eyes still squeezed shut as tears pour down her face. “I-I’ll show you the bruises, I-I’ll let you see the memories, please, Steve, please believe me.” And as I continue to watch my friend sob quietly in her seat, an overwhelming urge washes over me to just hold her, to somehow show her that the information she’s shared is safe with me.

Rising slowly from my seat, I approach the crying girl, reaching out my arms and wrapping them gently around her. At the contact, she only sobs harder, leaning her face against my shoulder. With little difficulty, I lift her up and carry her over to the couch, sitting down and placing her on top of my lap. Even though she’s always been a small girl, the lack of weight I feel on top of me is highly concerning.

I take a soothing hand and begin running it over her hair, talking softly to her as she cries. “I believe you, Wanda. I believe you,” I promise her.

“I-I’m s-s-sorry,” she sobs into my shoulder, and I shush her gently, shaking my head.

“No, no sorry’s,” I coo. “You were so brave to tell me. I’m so proud of you, kiddo.” The girl only clings to me and continues to cry, and I keep my hand running over her hair, rocking her slightly back and forth, hoping the movements won’t be too obvious but still enough to somewhat soothe her.

“D-do you hate me now?” she asks through her tears, her head pulling back to look me in the eyes. My heart breaks all over when I see they’re filled with fear.

“No, of course not. I could never hate you, Wanda. What those men- those monsters- did to you says nothing about you as a person. You’re still good. You’re still so incredibly good, all the way down to your bones.” A slight hint of relief appears on her face, but she remains mostly wary. Brushing back her stray bangs out of her face, I lock eyes with hers. “Look at me, Wanda.” She does, her eyes filling with tears once more. “You are good. Still as good as you’ve ever been. They didn’t take that from you.”

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[stylingpubichair]

The Best Way To Shave Your Bikini Line Without Getting Ingrowns Everywhere.. Do not avoid shaving cream, whatever you do.

You may be in the camp of letting your hair go au naturel during quarantine, or you might be spending even more time on your beauty and skincare routine right now. But if you're playing it safe and skipping bikini wax appointments at the moment, shaving is likely your go-to for smooth skin.

The only problem is that bumps, ingrown hair, and angry red skin seem like they're just part of the package when it comes to shaving ~down there~. Shaving your bikini area is a lot of work, and can definitely irritate your skin if not done safely, so there are some things you should know before the razor is in your hand.

Wait, is it bad to shave your bikini line?

First of all, removing hair anywhere on your body is completely your decision—don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise, or feel pressured into shaving, waxing, or using any other hair removal method. If you do choose to shave your bikini line, you may be up against both ingrown hairs and red, itchy bumps.

"Ingrown hairs are formed when the sharp, freshly shaved hairs, puncture and grow into the surrounding skin," explains Ife J. Rodney, MD, FAAD, founding director of Eternal Dermatology + Aesthetics. Then, the skin has a reaction to those hairs and can get red and itchy as a result. You might also experience razor burn after shaving, which is basically when the razor removes the top layer of soft skin, allowing bacteria in to form red bumps on the inflamed skin, says Dr. Rodney.

However, many people (45 percent in this 2016 survey report grooming down below for a vacation, and 55 percent say they've groomed before sex) who remove pubic hair use a razor, which is totally fine for your skin, as long as you are careful. "To prevent rashes and irritation, you should only shave with a clean, sharp razor," Dr. Rodney says. On top of that, if you moisturize and care for the skin before and after you shave, you can avoid annoying razor burn.

Read on for more expert-approved shaving tips before you jump in the shower.

1. Invest in a good bikini razor.

Picking the right razor is the first step to ensuring your bikini line is smooth and bump-free. "If there are more blades, it dispenses more pressure, allowing each blade to cut with less force but more effect," says Dendy Engelman, MD, of Manhattan Dermatology and Cosmetic Surgery in New York City. In other words, you'll get a better, closer shave without risking a cut or irritation.

"Choosing a firm, sturdy razor with soothing strips will make a huge difference," adds Eileen Bischoff, esthetician and hair-removal specialist at Eve Salon in New York City. While throwaways are great for use while traveling and can get the job done, they’re labeled "disposable" for a reason. "They’re not meant to be used for a month," she says.

Or, there's the option of single-blade stainless steel safety razors, which have become popular especially to reduce plastic waste. Believe it or not, they're just as safe as a regular plastic razor for your skin, even your bikini line, says Dr. Rodney. "With only one pass, you remove the hairs completely. There’s less trauma to the skin surface, and the hairs are cut bluntly, decreasing the risk of ingrown hairs," she says.

2. Prep to prevent ingrown hair on your bikini line.

Before shaving your bikini area, spend about 10 minutes in warm water first. This will help soften the outer layer of your skin, making it easier to remove hair (and lessen your chances of getting razor burn), says Fumi Ozaki, an esthetician and electrologist in Redondo Beach, California. "After the 10 minutes is up, pat the skin dry to remove any excess water," she says.

Once your bikini line has been cleaned and dried, Engelman suggests lightly exfoliating with a wet washcloth or a scrub to remove dead skin cells, allowing the blade to get closer to the skin. "It teases out any stubborn ingrown hairs prior to shaving," she says.

3. Don't skip shaving cream.

You might think this shaving accessory is just a feel- and smell-good component to the process, but it’s way more than that. "When you shave, you’re shaving your skin, too," says Bischoff. "If you don’t use enough shaving cream to create enough slip, you’ll lightly abrade your skin, leaving it irritated." Ouch.

And similarly to that quality bikini shaver you're supposed to buy, don't just reach for a random, cheap shaving cream. "Use a good-quality shaving gel with a short list of moisturizing ingredients, like shea butter, olive oil, and coconut oil—these types of bases will give a proper buffer for your razor," says Engelman.

Apply a very thin layer only to the area that needs to be shaved so you can see the skin and hair shaft underneath. "This is much safer, so there’s no need to move the blade back and forth on the skin," says Ozaki.

4. Pay attention to your shaving direction.

People have a lot of opinions about whether you should shave up or down on your bikini line, and the direction you shave does matter. "How you shave can be really, really important, especially for people who are prone to bumps," says Bischoff. Going in a ton of different directions with your razor makes cuts and subsequent ingrown hairs more likely. Shave in one direction—with the hair growth. Going against the grain of your hair makes irritation much more likely.

While gliding your razor gently along the bikini line, keep the blade downward without adding too much pressure. "One pass should be fine, especially if you’re using a razor that has many blades," says Ozaki. "The more blades used, the fewer times you should feel the need to re-shave over this sensitive area."

5. Calm your skin after shaving the bikini area.

Wash off as soon as you put your razor down, and hold a cold compress to the area for 10 minutes to prevent irritation, says Ozaki. Apply an anti-redness serum (preferably fragrance-free) to further reduce your chances of experiencing razor burn. "I recommend tea tree oil, both a natural anti-inflammatory and antiseptic, which can help calm razor burn," says Engelman. "If you’ve really caused some irritation, more intense creams, like topical steroids, can be prescribed to reduce redness, swelling, and pain."

6. Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize.

It’s important to always hydrate and moisturize after shaving. "Apply an unscented, alcohol-free moisturizer to both sides of the bikini line to lock in the moisture and avoid over-drying, which leads to further irritation," says Engelman. Bischoff suggests looking for products containing soothing aloe vera, as well as jojoba oil and vitamin E for hydration.

7. Clean your bikini razor.

After every shave, make sure to sanitize your blades with rubbing alcohol and warm or hot water. If your razor looks rusty and you’ve been using it for a while, toss it out. "Replace old blades—ones you’ve used for more than five to seven shaves," says Engelman.

You can also cut your losses (and avoid those red bumps) by storing blades in a clean, dry place so they don't pick up bacteria sitting around in the shower.

8. If shaving bothers your skin, there are other options.

Shaving might not be the right move for everyone's skin. If you still prefer to be smooth, waxing, either by a professional or with an at-home wax kit, is a safe and gentle choice for your skin, because it removes the hair from the root and doesn't allow bacteria to enter as easily, says Dr. Rodney. "When the hair grows back, the tips are soft, not sharp, and so it's less likely to cause ingrown hairs," she says. Plus, it often takes longer for the hair to grow back than shaving does. For an even longer-term option for sensitive skin, laser hair removal might be for you to avoid the need to shave altogether.

[viesetcizet1981-blog]

Logan square is apparently the "luxury location." it IS super nice, i went there on a pass when it first opened. The locker rooms are way bigger and have steamrooms and saunas. It has things that caters to working people (a wework space, for some reason?) which is i think how they justify making that one a "signature" membership, but i never use any of that stuff, so i don want to pay for it. That means about 28 percent of all calls that his company's customers got last year were phone spam. "If you extrapolate, there are likely billions of calls made by telemarketers. In my mind, the numbers are just staggering. You think I have an imaginary husband? Wow, that's an innovative way to dismiss a dissenting viewpoint! I'm sure he'll be amused to hear that a sock account stranger on the internet believes our decade together is all just a delusion. Unfortunately, even though his existence might be rhetorically inconvenient for you, he is indeed a real person who has just as much ownership over the Spanish language as you do. I, however, do not, and so I'm going to bow out of that portion of this conversation.. When the vampire came back to a once noble city in ashes, he could only find four bodies to bury. The devastation was so great. Nearly every precious item was destroyed. Vitamin K plays a vital role in blood clotting. Learn more at How Vitamin K Works. Vitamin E is an antioxidant, which keeps the blood clean. The goal of the park is guest happiness and education. You use the "natural wonders" in the park to the fullest advantage by deciding the best trails and other activities that would enlighten the guests the most. Of course money would still be a management issue, as well as trail maintenance, and litter and bathroom cleanup. Miss Cornelia was mistaken. On the morning after the election Captain Jim dropped in at the little house to tell the news. So virulent is the microbe of party politics, even in a peaceable old man, that Captain Jim's cheeks were flushed and his eyes were flashing with all his old time fire.. There was an air about him, he felt a little off and his general aura scared the shit out of me. He started talking about how his cat committed suicide because of transcendental psychosis and how that could happen to anyone. THEN, despite not even knowing my name he thought he let me know he loved me and could tell we were destined to be together. And we seen A LOT. I made my husband watch it as a non fan of horror, and he thought it was "meh". Funny how people can have such different experiences. This liberty goes very far. Sometimes a portal, a faade, an entire church, presents a symbolical sense absolutely foreign to worship, or even hostile to the Church. In the thirteenth century, Guillaume de Paris, and Nicholas Flamel, in the fifteenth, wrote such seditious pages. The little guy I watch is a juice addict, but I got him hooked on water now too. He a 동두천출장마사지 little older though. I just told him it really good for his muscles and brain and it helps him grow big and strong. I practiced so many low stakes encounters by that point, engaging a stranger in conversation for a couple hours was pretty straightforward. (and it didn hurt that I had a solid hobby to talk about).EDIT: Volunteering is just one avenue: if service isn your thing, check out a local sports league, or church, or poker game. There are a lot of groups where you don have to charm anyone showing up and being polite is 100% of the battle.EDIT2: Since this is Reddit, I guess it 동두천출장마사지 needs to be said: DO NOT volunteer in hopes of a meet cute.

[tinynerdfire]

This Is How You Can Get Rid of Blackheads Forever

If you have pores, which we all do!

At some point in your life, you’ve dealt with blackheads.

But, first and foremost, what are blackheads? “Blackheads are basically larger pores filled with oil and dead skin cells that didn’t slough off the surface properly,” Nancy Samolitis, MD, FAAD, owner and cofounder of Facile Dermatology + Boutique, explains.

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However, they aren’t the same as clogged pores, whiteheads, or acne. Open comedones differ from blackheads, which are “clogged pores that are not open on the surface, so they seem more like little white lumps,” according to Samolitis.

Even though blackheads seem like dirt, they aren’t dirt. “While many patients mistakenly believe the black color is caused by dirt, it is actually caused by the clog being oxidized by the air,” says Brian Ginsberg, MD, a board-certified dermatologist at Chelsea Skin & Laser and clinical assistant professor of dermatology at Mount Sinai Hospital.

Congratulations if you’ve had blackheads since you were a child. It’s possible that your genes are to fault. “Some people are simply genetically predisposed to wider pores or higher oil production, both of which contribute to the formation of blackheads,” adds Samolitis. “As we age and our skin loses suppleness, pores can widen and blackheads emerge. This can happen everywhere on the body, including the face.” If you have blackheads on your face and are wondering if the dark spots on your chest, back, or neck are also blackheads, they are.

“The most effective strategy is to repair any underlying issues that are generating blackheads, such as dead skin cells,” says one chevalier.Morgan Rabach, MD, board-certified dermatologist and cofounder of LM Medical in New York, explains. “The best strategy is to use active chemicals that reduce oil production, slough away dead skin cells, and limit the formation of dead skin cells. Retinol is the greatest component for the job.”

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The story continues…

Other exfoliation treatments, whether physical or chemical, are also recommended by Rabach. There are also extractions, which perform well but must be integrated into a bigger strategy. “Squeezing blackheads out feels pleasant, but it doesn’t change the reason for their production, so if extractions are the sole method you employ, they’ll keep coming back.”

Grab some Q-Tips to eliminate blackheads from your face right away…

Regardless matter where area of the face you’re treating for blackheads, the procedure is essentially the same. “An extraction is a simple and uncomplicated technique to get rid of them,” says Samolitis. “You don’t need to use a needle or tool to pierce the skin because the pore is already open.” Gentle pressure is an option.applied to the blackhead to force it out I prefer to extract comedones with two Q-tips because they don’t hurt the skin like fingernails or even a comedone extractor can.”

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However, exfoliants or peels can be used to remove them more slowly, according to Samolitis. “An exfoliation or peel containing salicylic acid to dissolve the oil and dead skin cells and a retinol to restore skin cell turnover, which prevents clogging in the first place, is a slower way to remove and prevent them.”

Also, try this to get rid of blackheads on your body…

“Because your body skin is thicker than your face skin, you may use a higher percentage of active chemicals like retinols, salicylic acids, and alpha and beta hydroxy acids to remove blackheads on your body,” adds Rabach. Fortunately, you can get away with frequent exfoliation and stronger chemical peels on the back or chest that might otherwise be too irritating on the face.

Other solutions are available if products aren’t cutting it. Samolitis adds: “Some blackheads on the back and body are substantially larger, causing irreversible damage to the pore. The pore will ultimately fill up again, even if the contents are evacuated. A minor surgical excision is a more aggressive way to permanently eradicating blackheads on the back and body.”

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Do homemade toothpaste recipes work?

Forget everything you’ve heard about using toothpaste to dry out your blackheads. Samolitis is unmistakable in this DIY beauty hack: “Toothpaste will not remove blackheads. The above-mentioned therapies are the only ones that work.” Begin with light manual exfoliation using treatments such as peels, exfoliants, and masks, and work your way up to surgical excision or a trip to the doctor if the blackheads persist. Unfortunately, this is one instance where do-it-yourself won’t suffice.

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It might not be your imagination if you feel like you’re always losing the battle against blackheads. “Blackheads can always come back after removal since certain people are genetically prone to them,” explains Samolitis. “Salicylic acid and retinol can help keep them at bay, but they won’t completely eliminate them. Oral retinoids, such as Accutane [typically taken for severe, cystic acne], will permanently decrease oil glands and perhaps ‘heal’ blackheads, but they are not indicated for mild acne.”

But fear not; all is not lost. You can start to get long-term relief if you follow the right blackhead-fighting skincare routine. “Retinols, salicylic acid, and regular exfoliation can drastically improve blackheads,” says Rabach.

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[outfitandtrend]

[ad_1] So here's something I didn't realize was a hot topic in the skincare community: whether you really need a toner in your routine or not. It seems that the experts are divided on this topic. Says Rachel Maiman, MD, FAAD, a board-certified dermatologist at Marmur Medical, "The question as to whether toners are necessary or recommended is one that continues to be up for debate in the dermatology community. You will get a different opinion depending on who you ask."How can you decide if it's right for you or not? Well, it helps to look at what a toner actually does for your skin. "Toner is a liquid formulation that quickly absorbs and penetrates the skin and depending on the specific ingredients may also have additional antioxidant, hydrating, anti-inflammatory, or exfoliating benefits," says Marisa Garshick, MD, FAAD. "It is designed to be used after cleanser to help prep the skin for the subsequent steps in the skincare routine, in many cases helping to better absorb your skincare products. Because toners often help to restore the skin's natural pH, it can help to support the skin barrier."SkinSpirit lead aesthetician Karen Fernandez believes not everyone needs a toner, as most cleansers now have the capacity to break down oil and dirt—they are supplemental and can be used as needed. "If you use heavier mineral makeup and SPFs, the extra cleaning power of toner will help skin feel and be cleaner, getting more of the buildup out of the pores," she says. "People who exercise on the go and can't get a shower or face-washing after a workout or practice will benefit from using a toner after sweating. For this use, I like pre-moistened 'toner pads' that have deep-cleaning ingredients."Now, you're probably wondering, "What's the verdict?" Most of the experts I spoke to for this story said that toners are not exactly necessary, but if you want some extra help with certain skin issues or conditions, they're worth a try since many toners are formulated for specific needs nowadays. It's all about finding the right one for you. [ad_2] Source link

[1to800]

Hey! I just wanted to tell you something, you are so pretty!! I kinda want to chomp your cheeks (о´∀`о)

akd;faad;a >///< oof, aren’t you the kindest?!!! Actually though, you’re the prettiest (although I haven’t seen you), you have the prettiest heart💕 and I can’t believe hahah I have fat cheeks I always hated them, I can’t believe you saw them in a good light?! It’s not me, I think it’s you who must have really pretty eyes that see the world as a better place than what it actually is☺️💖

[parviocula]

I could very well reading too deep in this but I’m gonna list my thoughts about Zaan and Dragon Priest Mask/Names.

Feel free to shoot over Asks if anything is confusing or you want to know more. This is just my thoughts/canons etc, I’ve read the books and notes but I could have missed more.

According to the Lore each Dragon Priest is granted a magical mask that reflects who they are, just like how their names are changed. You can argue that the MASK is the name that they wear. Their can be speculations on if Children who were born inside the Cult have Dovahzul names but I doubt it as it seems to be more of a title given to you, we also know the Dragon Language is very rarely spoken outside of the Priest rank. 

Names

I’ll list same names I think you could maybe use if you decided your Priest/Priestess had a child. Note these are more like nicknames. I went more by less entitled names (like Wolf or Raven) since they sound more like a working job title than a petty name. But you do what you want!

Dun - Grace

Faad  - Warmth

Mal - Little

Paaz  - Fair

Peyt  - Rose

Now that I am typing this Malpaazpeyt is a cute ass name

Thurvokun and Zaan

We all know the unfortunate circumstance that happened to Zaan, the worst fear in all Dragon Priest and their followers; when their Dragon Lord abandons them. Thurvokun and Zaan had a bond so close it was considered a great fortune to serve them, to be seen by them was a blessing. Why he chose her could have any meanings but I won’t be getting into that right now.

Zaan was gifted a mask that looked very similar to Konahrik (Warlord) this made me speculate a little bit, I believe Zaan was once the wearer of that mask and is in some way still the Warlord. “She commanded no great battles, conquered no powerful enemies” but it does not say she didn’t interfere with these battles in some way, with Zaans great bond and her youth and incredible battle skills, she very well may have been chosen to shut down riots and misguided Priests. Her whole armour and mask still resembles Konahrik, she was Thurvokuns greatest champion and Warlord, he left the Dragon War and took her with him, she was his.

As for why he left it’s not really known. Zaan could of shown weakness after the Dragon War, she may have even been slightly angry they were not there to help Alduin. Or maybe Thurvokun DID leave the temple to return to the war and came back only to find everyone dead and gone and slowly rotted away without his connection. I don’t believe Thurvokun left with malicious response, I believe he was between two battles of his own and made the wrong choices. Either way Zaan’s mentality became unstable after he left and she was severely accused by her followers, but she made no protest to stop them. She was beginning to fade away, she could not speak. The loss of the link between her Dragon was spiritually destroying and her followers saw this and so they slaughtered her.

Zaan’s Mask

We know after her followers slaughtered her one of them regretted it, and her name is Ruelde,  Ruelde‘s brother repeatedly told her to have faith in Zaan but she could not see any left in their Priestess. As she watched the snow turn red in Zaan’s blood her mind drifted into a power hungry being, she desired the mask. she desired dominance and power over all. Just like a Dragon.

One of my theories is the Masks the Dragons create can speak to their wearer, this is how they become themselves.

As Ruelde came over and gripped Zaan’s mask she realized it wouldn't let go, it REFUSED to leave its master, it WAS Zaan. The mask is what makes the Priest, it was created specifically for them and it will never truly leave its wearer until they turn to dust.

[babyjakes]

hi eun! usually i don't read fics with original characters or in chapters (only for a matter of time, sometimes i dedicate my morning to fics with chapters). since your stories are a huge comfort for my mental health when i'm in dark places i decided to read the fics in chapters you have on your masterlist!

i read forever and a day and i don't have words to express how much i loved it. i read it all in like one day and it got me crying too

so i just wanted to compliment you on your stories and tell you i'm looking forward to ever green evermore!

p.s. when i first started faad i was confused seeing tony stark in the trigger warning but then him wanting to be a father figure to willa (especially knowing your hate for him) then i went on with chapters and understood the reason why 🫥

omg 🥺 this means so much to me thankyou! i’m so glad you enjoyed. tbh going back and reading faad always feels rough for me at this point just bc i’m not at all a fan of the first person pov anymore 😭 so i’m glad to hear some friends at least still find it readable 🤧 lol yeahhhh tony is such a doozy in that one, sometimes i can’t believe all the stuff i made him do 😅 i’m so glad you’re excited for egem! it’s gonna be hopefully just as comforting and helpful, yet also new and exciting (and much better written lol)

[mariebenz]

Atopic Dermatitis - Eczema: Jakafi® (ruxolitinib) Found to Reduce Itch and Improve Quality of Life

MedicalResearch.com Interview with:

Dr. Kim Brian S. Kim, MD, MTR, FAAD Associate Professor of Medicine (Dermatology) Co-Director, Center for the Study of Itch and Sensory Disorders Division of Dermatology, Department of Medicine Washington University School of Medicine St. Louis, MO  MedicalResearch.com: What is the background for this study? What are the main findings? Response: Itch is the central and most debilitating symptom of atopic dermatitis. However, surprisingly, measuring itch or quality of life in clinical trials is not often a primary endpoint. Therefore, this study focuses in very detailed fashion on how ruxolitinib cream improves pruritus in a clinically meaningful way and its ultimate impact on quality of life. What patients want to know at the end of the day is how much will this drug change my life?  Not, whether it statistically beat out a placebo group. Indeed, what this study shows is that ruxolitinib cream has a major impact on itch in a meaningful way that is also tied to improvements in quality of life. MedicalResearch.com: What should readers take away from your report? Response: The key takeaways are the following: 1) Ruxolitinib cream has very rapid and potent anti-itch effects in atopic dermatitis, 2) The improvements in itch associated with treatment are clinically meaningful, and 3) The improvement in itch is strongly associated with improvement in quality of life. Overall, this means that patients who suffer disproportionately from itch associated with their eczema, can expect to see life-changing effects from this future treatment.  MedicalResearch.com: What recommendations do you have for future research as a result of this work?  Response: An interesting area of future research would be to understand whether ruxolitinib’s effect is due to its inhibition of JAKs in neurons versus inflammatory cells. A basic assumption in the field is that JAK inhibitors work via their effects on immune cells directly, however, we believe that the tremendous effect on itch is due to the neuromodulatory properties of the drug. However, this remains to be more directly demonstrated in humans. MedicalResearch.com: Is there anything else you would like to add? Response: I have worked as a consultant for Incyte and multiple other companies that make JAK inhibitors like AbbVie, Pfizer, and LEO Pharma. I also have a patent pending for the application of JAK inhibitors for pruritus. Citation: Effects of ruxolitinib cream on pruritus and quality of life in adult patients with atopic dermatitis: Results from a phase 2, randomized, dose-ranging, vehicle- and active-controlled studyJournal of the American Academy of Dermatology, Volume 81, Issue 4, AB198 https://www.jaad.org/article/S0190-9622(19)31730-X/fulltext The information on MedicalResearch.com is provided for educational purposes only, and is in no way intended to diagnose, cure, or treat any medical or other condition. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health and ask your doctor any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. In addition to all other limitations and disclaimers in this agreement, service provider and its third party providers disclaim any liability or loss in connection with the content provided on this website.   Read the full article

[aibrechts]

I still can't quite believe that I missed the fanfic author appreciation day! So Very Happy (late) FAAD! Thank you so much for writing all those amazing Poker Pair stories (honestly, you are the sole reason I now ship them like crazy and I'm not even really in the fandom xD) and just being awesome in general! <33

I DONT KNOW WHY TUMBLR ATE ALL MY NOTIFS so i h ave no idea when you actually sent this buT I LOVE YOU WITH MY WHOLE HEART AND THAT IS THE MOST AMAZING THING I’VE EVER HEARD PROBABLY IM SO HAPPY TO SPREAD TYKILLEN LOVE BLESS UR WONDERFUL HEART <3

[fitnesshealthyoga-blog]

New Post has been published on https://fitnesshealthyoga.com/do-beauty-supplements-really-work/

Do Beauty Supplements Really Work?

A healthy diet can help keep your skin looking its best. Since the skin is an organ, just like your heart or liver, it’s fed by the nutrients in the foods you eat, so the more nutrients you get in your daily diet, the healthier your skin will be.

But that’s food we’re talking about. Can you get the same effect from supplements?

Many manufacturers would like you to think so. In fact, beauty supplement companies are betting their bottom lines on the hope that you will believe their products will help your skin look and feel its best.

Just in the past year, the U.S. saw a 61 percent increase in sales of beauty supplements, with $144 million in sales compared to $89 million last year. Clearly, these supplements are becoming more and more popular. Does that mean you should be using them, too?

What Are Beauty Supplements?

Beauty supplements (also called nutricosmetics) are similar to regular vitamin and mineral supplements, except they’re targeted to have a specific effect on your skin, hair, or nails. So they often contain nutrients that are linked to benefits in these areas. Vitamin A, C, and biotin, for example, are necessary for healthy skin and hair, so many beauty supplements contain them.

You may already get these vitamins in a multivitamin, but beauty supplements often contain them in higher doses than you’d get in a daily nutrient formula. They may also contain other nutrients like collagen, antioxidants, anti-inflammatories, and others that are meant to help you improve your appearance and help delay aging.

Beauty supplements may come in pill form, or in powders, drinks, or other food items.

The Problem with Vitamin Supplements in General

There are a few reasons why beauty supplements make sense. If you don’t eat a healthy diet most of the time, you may not be getting all the nutrients you need to support your skin’s health. In that case, a supplement may be helpful, but the thing is, we just aren’t sure at this point.

Take regular vitamins, for example. Many consumers bought them for decades, convinced that they would help them avoid disease and feel healthier. But recent studies have questioned whether supplements are effective.

One recent 2018 review of scientific literature published between 2012 and 2017 found that vitamin D, calcium, and vitamin C did not help in preventing cardiovascular disease, heart attack, stroke, or premature death.

“People feel better when they take supplements in the belief that taking more vitamins will improve health,” said Marion Nestle, nutrition, food studies and public health professor at New York University. “Most evidence shows that they do not.”

Johns Hopkins researchers reviewed information on supplements too, including three different studies that showed multivitamins did not help reduce risk of heart disease or cancer, mental decline, or premature death. They found that not only did multivitamins not live up to their hype, but that higher doses of some vitamins, like vitamin E and beta-carotene, could actually be harmful.

They added that there is much stronger evidence that eating a healthy diet helps prevent chronic diseases and gives you all the nutrients you need.

The same is likely true of beauty supplements.

Are Beauty Supplements Worth the Money?

Most dermatologists recommend instead that you focus on food, where the best nutrients are.

“Healthy eating habits appear to be a valuable tool to reduce the signs of skin aging as well as the management of certain skin conditions,” said board-certified dermatologist Patricia Farris, M.D., FAAD, clinical assistant professor of dermatology, Tulane University School of Medicine, New Orleans. “While the science behind nutrition, supplementation and skin is still evolving, research suggests a diet high in antioxidants and healthy fats and low in sugars, refined carbohydrates and bad fats may help the skin look younger.”

Some studies are showing that beauty supplements flat out don’t work. A review of research by scientists at the British Nutrition Foundation showed there is “very limited” evidence to support some of the ingredients used in beauty supplements. Further, they noted that while a healthy diet is required for healthy skin, beauty supplements may not add any further benefit.

Some nutrients show effects on the skin in a scientific laboratory, but so far there is no proof that they will have the same effects on real skin when taken internally. They have to go through the digestive system, where it’s unclear whether they will be absorbed well, and then get through to the skin. The body tends to shuttle nutrients to the essential organs first, like the heart and the lungs, so it’s hard to tell how much (if any) gets to the skin.

Collagen, in particular, is a protein that is broken down in the gut to smaller molecules, and so far there is little evidence that it survives digestion to travel to the skin in high enough quantities to make any meaningful change.

The jury is still out on vitamin E, too. According to a 2016 study, though it’s been linked with protecting the skin from solar radiation, evidence is lacking on whether supplements really benefit skin. Researchers wrote, “After so many years of research on vitamin E, it is still unclear as to whether millions of dollars worth of vitamin E products paid for by patients and consumers have been of any benefit.”

There is some early research that suggests that certain nutrients can have an effect on skin, but these are small studies, with some being limited to laboratory results.

Polypodium leucotomos: This is an extract of a Central American fern plant. Supplements have been shown to offer some sun protection.

Probiotics: Studies have shown they may offer some sun protection.

Omega-3 fatty acids: Some studies have shown that supplementation can reduce inflammation and may help reduce psoriasis and acne flare-ups.

CoQ10: Animal and laboratory studies suggest it may help provide antioxidant benefits in the skin.

Vitamin B3 (nicotinamide): May help reduce the risk of skin cancer.

Biotin: May help encourage strong nails.

Bottom Line

At the end of the day, we don’t have enough research yet to show that beauty supplements will make a visible difference in your skin. So far, eating a healthy diet, exercising, and using quality skin care products are the best ways to get your best skin.

If you want to try beauty supplements, they probably won’t hurt you, but if you’re combining them with other vitamins you’re taking, check with your doctor to be sure that you’re not taking too high a dose of anything. Then make sure you’re using a quality supplement from a reputable manufacturer.

Finally, take a before and after picture so you can see if the supplement is really helping or not. That can help you determine whether you should keep spending money on it, or if that money would be better spent on an anti-aging serum or quality moisturizer.

Do you use beauty supplements?

Sources AAD. (2015, February 2). Beauty from the inside out: Improving your diet or taking supplements may lead to younger-looking skin | American Academy of Dermatology. Retrieved from https://www.aad.org/media/news-releases/beauty-from-the-inside-out-improving-your-diet-or-taking-supplements-may-lead-to-younger-looking-skin

Ashida, Y., Yamanishi, H., Terada, T., Oota, N., Sekine, K., & Watabe, K. (2005). CoQ10supplementation elevates the epidermal CoQ10level in adult hairless mice. BioFactors, 25(1-4), 175-178. doi:10.1002/biof.5520250120

Beauty supplements do nothing to help your skin, according to a new study. (2018, February 13). Retrieved from https://www.irishexaminer.com/breakingnews/lifestyle/beauty-supplements-do-nothing-to-help-your-skin-according-to-a-new-study-827880.html

Chen, A. C. (2015). A Phase 3 Randomized Trial of Nicotinamide for Skin-Cancer Chemoprevention. The New England Journal of Medicine, 2015(373), 1618-1626. doi:10.1056/NEJMoa1506197

Colombo, V. E., Gerber, F., Bronhofer, M., & Floersheim, G. L. (1990). Treatment of brittle fingernails and onychoschizia with biotin: Scanning electron microscopy. Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology, 23(6), 1127-1132. doi:10.1016/0190-9622(90)70345-i

Jenkins, D. J. (2018). Supplemental Vitamins and Minerals for CVD Prevention and Treatment. Journal of the American College of Cardiology, 71(22). Retrieved from DOI: 10.1016/j.jacc.2018.04.020

Johns Hopkins Medicine. (n.d.). Is There Really Any Benefit to Multivitamins? Retrieved from https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/healthy_aging/healthy_body/is-there-really-any-benefit-to-multivitamins

Keen, M. A. (2016). Vitamin E in dermatology. Indian Dermatol Online J, 7(4), 311-315. doi:10.4103/2229-5178.185494

Menayang, A. (2018, September 27). The rise of beauty supplements in the US, in charts. Retrieved from https://www.nutraingredients-usa.com/Article/2018/09/27/The-rise-of-beauty-supplements-in-the-US-in-charts

Murray, G. (2018, July 6). I Took Beauty Supplements For A Month ? Here’s What They Did For My Skin. Retrieved from https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/do-collagen-supplements-work

Salem, T. (2018, May 29). Access Denied. Retrieved from https://www.usnews.com/news/health-care-news/articles/2018-05-29/study-vitamin-supplements-dont-provide-health-benefits

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[samanthasroberts]

The 6 Stages Of Trying On A Bikini After Being A Lazy Piece Of Sh*t All Winter

Youve officially survived another winter of dreaded family holidays, surprise engagements, and disguising your 2pm blackout as brunch without entirely losing your dignity. But that also means that in the months between November and March, betches were busy living their best fucking lives, Instagramming cheese plates and colorful fruit cocktails, all while pulling off the illusion that their ass underwent months of squat-like workouts, thanks to overpriced Lulu leggings. 

Sure, these PPCS (Post Partum Cuffing Season) side effects are totally justified, but unfortunately for me you, the social media faade that just upped your followers prob also upped your pant size. Bikini season is right around the corner as of like, yesterday, and your besties are dying to be sexually objectified at Tao Beach, but that also means theyre counting on you to pose for pics with them that scream GIRLS TRIP!!! But also can you believe this cleavage rn? while debuting swimwear the size of a hair scrunchie. So if theres one thing I know better than the exact distance it takes to get from work to the bar, its everything a betch goes through following the pre-bikini season DGAF: 

Stage 1: The Invitation

After victoriously indulging in an all-carb diet for four months straight, the only phone call thats dreaded more than your gyno calling to deliver test results is your best friend calling to invite you on a ratchet river retreat. This means pausing yourbinge and getting off your ass in hopes of finding a swimsuit thatll cover your perma-winter layer so you dont feel like an IRL Flubber on a rocky boat. Being a possessor of chronic Stage 4 FOMO the good friend that you are, you reluctantly agree to a weekend of staged candid bikini photos while hiding behind a donut pool floatie, as you confirm with a high-pitched OMG YES IM SO THERE! Congratulations, youve just survived your first two-way calling attack. 

Stage 2: The Casual Browse

Does your recent Google search history read, “bathing suits that hide my back fat”? Bcuz same. Every betch has Googled some sort of self-loathing ridicule at a point in her life, which means that the quest for the perfect bathing suit has officially begun. But first you attempt to save a little face before baring it all to the poor Victorias Secret employee and peruse your options via Google. After hours of research, only to find yourself 68 weeks deep into Kylie Jenners sluttiest bikini photos, desperate times call for desperate fucking measures, and your Google searches quickly go from “bathing suits” to “how much did Kims fat transfer cost?”

Stage 3: The Dressing Room

They say the camera adds 10 pounds, but they also say the fitting room mirror adds like, 20. Idk if its the shitty interrogation-room lighting, or the fact that my “monthly” bloat has just become a way of life, but TBH entering a womans fitting room is like entering the fucking Chokey. After trying on the stores entire swim inventory, the only thing youve actually accomplished other than realizing youve unknowingly been growing a winter forest below the navel border for the past three months, is realizing that the trendy off-the-shoulder bikini top you tolerated serves no practicality or purpose other than showcasing unwanted armpit vagina. 

Stage 4: The Crash Diet

As you leave the store, you make a vow to yourself to go full Emily Blunt for two weeks and to eat nothing but a cube of cheese, but only when feeling like youre gonna drop dead. You stick it out for a solid three hours until your drive home automatically lands you in the In-N-Out drive thru line because whatever, youre getting cheese fries. You start randomly developing a sense of false confidence and mutter shit to yourself like, If they cant accept me at my pregnant Kim K., then they dont deserve me at my revenge bod Khlo. #BIBLE 

Stage 5: The Prep

Earth to betches: Bikini season is only like 26% about the actual bikini. You dont get a Chipotle burrito to show off the foil wrapping, do you? Id be lying to you if I said Im not the best version of myself when I have a tan. And youd also be lying if you denied that. It makes you look, like, 10 pounds lighter and it gives the illusion that you physically saw the light of day this winter other than through your sliding glass door while you were covered in potato chip crumbs. You resort to whatever painful process it takes to distract people from the slightest amount of “excess love” hanging off your hips like a fucking ornament, and waxing off that 1960s bush youve been harboring like a fugitive. This results in spending more money on your physical appearance than the value of the actual vacation itself, but thats just, like, the rules of Instagram feminism.

Stage 6: The Presentation

Whether or not your summer bod is ready, a betch knows that the key to living her best vacation life is liquid confidence. ‘Tis the season for 9am beer bongs and chips and guac as a meal replacement, so you finally decide to proudly wear your winter bloat like a badge of honor, because #LoveYoself and (hi) DGAFing is your specialty. Vacays may not be about what you wear, but they sure as hell are about what you drink, so chances are, nobody in their drunk state of mind will even notice your nonexistent insecurities. Plus, drunk goggles make everyone look like a fucking 10, so you win. Now sit back, RELAX, and get that fine-ass awesome personality over here and take a shot with me.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/the-6-stages-of-trying-on-a-bikini-after-being-a-lazy-piece-of-sht-all-winter/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/04/11/the-6-stages-of-trying-on-a-bikini-after-being-a-lazy-piece-of-sht-all-winter/

[adambstingus]

The 6 Stages Of Trying On A Bikini After Being A Lazy Piece Of Sh*t All Winter

Youve officially survived another winter of dreaded family holidays, surprise engagements, and disguising your 2pm blackout as brunch without entirely losing your dignity. But that also means that in the months between November and March, betches were busy living their best fucking lives, Instagramming cheese plates and colorful fruit cocktails, all while pulling off the illusion that their ass underwent months of squat-like workouts, thanks to overpriced Lulu leggings. 

Sure, these PPCS (Post Partum Cuffing Season) side effects are totally justified, but unfortunately for me you, the social media faade that just upped your followers prob also upped your pant size. Bikini season is right around the corner as of like, yesterday, and your besties are dying to be sexually objectified at Tao Beach, but that also means theyre counting on you to pose for pics with them that scream GIRLS TRIP!!! But also can you believe this cleavage rn? while debuting swimwear the size of a hair scrunchie. So if theres one thing I know better than the exact distance it takes to get from work to the bar, its everything a betch goes through following the pre-bikini season DGAF: 

Stage 1: The Invitation

After victoriously indulging in an all-carb diet for four months straight, the only phone call thats dreaded more than your gyno calling to deliver test results is your best friend calling to invite you on a ratchet river retreat. This means pausing yourbinge and getting off your ass in hopes of finding a swimsuit thatll cover your perma-winter layer so you dont feel like an IRL Flubber on a rocky boat. Being a possessor of chronic Stage 4 FOMO the good friend that you are, you reluctantly agree to a weekend of staged candid bikini photos while hiding behind a donut pool floatie, as you confirm with a high-pitched OMG YES IM SO THERE! Congratulations, youve just survived your first two-way calling attack. 

Stage 2: The Casual Browse

Does your recent Google search history read, “bathing suits that hide my back fat”? Bcuz same. Every betch has Googled some sort of self-loathing ridicule at a point in her life, which means that the quest for the perfect bathing suit has officially begun. But first you attempt to save a little face before baring it all to the poor Victorias Secret employee and peruse your options via Google. After hours of research, only to find yourself 68 weeks deep into Kylie Jenners sluttiest bikini photos, desperate times call for desperate fucking measures, and your Google searches quickly go from “bathing suits” to “how much did Kims fat transfer cost?”

Stage 3: The Dressing Room

They say the camera adds 10 pounds, but they also say the fitting room mirror adds like, 20. Idk if its the shitty interrogation-room lighting, or the fact that my “monthly” bloat has just become a way of life, but TBH entering a womans fitting room is like entering the fucking Chokey. After trying on the stores entire swim inventory, the only thing youve actually accomplished other than realizing youve unknowingly been growing a winter forest below the navel border for the past three months, is realizing that the trendy off-the-shoulder bikini top you tolerated serves no practicality or purpose other than showcasing unwanted armpit vagina. 

Stage 4: The Crash Diet

As you leave the store, you make a vow to yourself to go full Emily Blunt for two weeks and to eat nothing but a cube of cheese, but only when feeling like youre gonna drop dead. You stick it out for a solid three hours until your drive home automatically lands you in the In-N-Out drive thru line because whatever, youre getting cheese fries. You start randomly developing a sense of false confidence and mutter shit to yourself like, If they cant accept me at my pregnant Kim K., then they dont deserve me at my revenge bod Khlo. #BIBLE 

Stage 5: The Prep

Earth to betches: Bikini season is only like 26% about the actual bikini. You dont get a Chipotle burrito to show off the foil wrapping, do you? Id be lying to you if I said Im not the best version of myself when I have a tan. And youd also be lying if you denied that. It makes you look, like, 10 pounds lighter and it gives the illusion that you physically saw the light of day this winter other than through your sliding glass door while you were covered in potato chip crumbs. You resort to whatever painful process it takes to distract people from the slightest amount of “excess love” hanging off your hips like a fucking ornament, and waxing off that 1960s bush youve been harboring like a fugitive. This results in spending more money on your physical appearance than the value of the actual vacation itself, but thats just, like, the rules of Instagram feminism.

Stage 6: The Presentation

Whether or not your summer bod is ready, a betch knows that the key to living her best vacation life is liquid confidence. ‘Tis the season for 9am beer bongs and chips and guac as a meal replacement, so you finally decide to proudly wear your winter bloat like a badge of honor, because #LoveYoself and (hi) DGAFing is your specialty. Vacays may not be about what you wear, but they sure as hell are about what you drink, so chances are, nobody in their drunk state of mind will even notice your nonexistent insecurities. Plus, drunk goggles make everyone look like a fucking 10, so you win. Now sit back, RELAX, and get that fine-ass awesome personality over here and take a shot with me.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/the-6-stages-of-trying-on-a-bikini-after-being-a-lazy-piece-of-sht-all-winter/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/172840084667