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whoever made these whispers i love you
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ain't gon' ever deserve you
mutant!loganhowlett x human!reader one shot
fic masterlist | nsfw claw worship
summary: logan has a nightmare and hurts you by accident - or - the one where you worship his claws the way they deserve.
content: mostly family-friendly claw worship. logan believes in the animal accusations but reader fixes it. reader is human, logan and reader have an established and v loving relationship, lots of reassurance and comforting for logan.
warnings: logan has nightmares, mentions of blood, logan self-hate, family-friendly knife play??????.
word count: 2.1k
a/n: listen, claw worship has been on my mind for a looooooong time. I'm too chicken to put up any of my nsfw writing yet so here's an sfw version with affirmations for poor baby lo-lo. also this is super inspired by logan and kayla's relationship and even uses some quotes from them.
you're deep asleep, dreaming of everything and nothing when you feel the sudden sharp sting in your arm.
eyes flying open, you open your mouth to hiss in pain but logan's lips are at your ear, snarling and grunting in his sleep again.
you look down to find his claws out, the metal tips digging into your arm. you exhale sharply, watching the warm blood seep down your arm and onto the new white sheets.
"no! nâ no!" he growls, and you're forced to bite your lip as you try to pull away from his vice grip. when that doesn't work, you sink your nails into his arm.
"loganâ"
"victor, NO!" he screams and sits up, yanking his claws from your arm and stabbing at the air in front of him.
victor creed. logan's brother and the bane of his existence. victor who haunts his dreams every single night, victor whose name you can never forget, victor who is now the reason logan's hurt you.
you sit up with him, aching for him, wrapping your arms around his torso. the burning pain in your arm an afterthought, you hear him swallow and gently let out a breath. he's sticky with sweat and the dry radiator air in the room isn't helping, the moon glowing through your glass walls, creating a halo around his head.
"nightmare." you state, letting him catch his breath and take in his surroundings.
he nods even though what you said wasn't a question but a statement. he twists around and pulls you into his lap, hugging you like he does near every night â chin tucked into your shoulder, arms wrapped all the way around your torso. he smells of soap and cigar smoke and the faintest hint of your shampoo. you smile to yourself and press a kiss to his hair.
"you're so cute." you mutter and a small smile spreads across his lips.
"cute?" he repeats, amused. "that's new." he pulls you closer, further down his lap and you can feel his heartbeat start to steady again.
"you used my shampoo again, and don't you deny it this time."
he scowls at you but lets you kiss him anyway. "reminds me of you," he sighs when he realises you won't stop until he admits it.
"but i'm right here," you giggle, running your thumb over the shell of his ear.
he opens his mouth to explain further but that's when he smells it. the blood he's drawn from your arm in his nightmare-fuelled anger at victor. his jaw tightens as he looks for the source of blood, finding three uniform slices on the outside of your forearm.
"no," he gasps, a thousand emotions crossing his eyes.
you try to wiggle your arm out of his grip, the blood running down your arm now. "hey... i'm okay."
"like fuck you are," he snarls, angry at himself.
how could he have possibly hurt you?! was this a thing now?? was he a danger to you even in his sleep?! god, he'll have to put you to sleep and then figure out a way to declaw himself. maybe if he just slices the back of his palms openâ
"james..." you break him out of his thoughts, hand on his cheek. "baby, i'm okay. really. it looks worse than it feels."
"i'm going to rip these out." he whispers, holding his fists up, the back of his palms facing you. his words are as much a promise to you as a command to himself.
you grab his fists and glare at him. he blinks at your expression, looking at you over his hands.
"don't you dare say anything of the sort. these are a gift."
"a gift," he scoffs, "you can return a gift."
"these are a gift," you repeat sternly. "and i will not let you do anything to them."
he opens his mouth to protest but you aren't done. how dare he even think of hurting himself, of declawing himself when you love his claws as much as you love every last part of him.
you run your fingers over the back of his palms and whisper, "take them out."
"sweetheart..."
"take them out, my love" you repeat, kissing his knuckles because you know it hurts every time he does.
he carefully and very very slowly bares them and you look at him from between the blades.
not breaking eye contact, you lean in and press a soft kiss to the base of the middle claw on his right hand. you catch him shuddering and your eyes widen in surprise.
"you felt that?"
you can see him redden even in the dark. "'course i did," he grunts.
"what does it feel like?" you ask, fascinated. everyday you learn something new about him and it never fails to delight you.
you kiss the base of another claw on the other hand and see him inhale sharply.
he groans deeply, humming to come up with the right words. "like... you're stroking every nerve in me to life."
that makes you sit up on your haunches and wrap your fingers around his wrists. he freezes, bracing himself to yank the claws back in the second he thinks you might hurt yourself on the sharp ends. you carefully lick along the length of the claw between his pinky and ring finger on his right hand, making him exhale shakily.
"tryna kill me, sugar?" he says through gritted teeth, every muscle in his body tense.
"trying to show you how much i love your claws, lo. even if they hurt sometimes."
you loop your right hand between both of his, gently pressing the tip of your thumb against the sharp end of a claw. you run your finger up the blade, making him whine in protest as you draw blood.
his eyes implore you, pleading, but you simply take your hand up to his mouth, pressing your bleeding thumb against his lips. he relents, sucking it into his warm mouth and licking it clean.
"logan?" you whisper and he hums around your thumb.
despite the heat in your core, pooling between your legs, you need him to hear this. you'll have time to fulfil that need later.
"every part of you means everything to me. but your claws, especially your claws, have the most special place in my heart. they protect me. they make you feel good. and most of all, they're fucking cool."
and that finally makes him crack a smile again.
"y'think so?"
"mhmm."
"c'mere." he says finally, pulling his claws back in and tugging you back into his lap.
he makes you straddle him and kisses you warmly. he looks into your eyes with such fondness, it squeezes your heart. carefully he pulls his first claw out on his right hand and uses it to gently push your hair out of your eyes. your eyes flutter shut in response, leaning into his metal touch.
he brushes the back of the claw across your cheek and your lips part prettily for him. the air doesn't feel so thick anymore, the quiet humming of the refrigerator in the kitchen not overwhelming him the way it was when he snapped awake.
ever so carefully, pushing his own boundaries, he turns his wrist and pushes the flat of his claw onto your tongue. it's warm and tastes of him, salty and musky and like metal.
"that okay for you, pretty girl?" he mumbles and you can hear the strain in his voice. he's terrified but he so badly wants to be brave for you.
you wrap your lips around the claws and suck softly in response, drawing a groan of pleasure from him.
he shudders beneath you, every inch of him tense and trembling with restraint. you slide your tongue along the metal, tracing the edge of his claw with reverence, savoring the taste of him.
loganâs breath catches in his throat, and you feel the warmth of his exhale ghost across your face. his other hand, free of the adamantium blades, finds its way to your waist, gripping you tightly.
"god," he breathes out, voice rough and filled with a raw vulnerability you hear only at night. "you have no idea what you do to me."
you slowly release his claw from your mouth, letting it slide out with a deliberate slowness that has him biting back another groan. his eyes are locked on you, dark with need.
you reach up, cupping his face with your now clean thumb, and brush your lips against his in a featherlight kiss. "i think i do," you whisper against his mouth. "i want you to feel how much i love every part of you, logan. even the parts that scare you."
his claws retract with a soft snikt, and he wraps his arms around you, pulling you impossibly closer.
"you're something else, darlin'," he murmurs into your hair, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. you can feel the smile playing on his lips. "you make me feel... whole."
you nestle into his embrace, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against your chest. "and you make me feel safe," you reply, closing your eyes and letting the furnace heart of his presence envelop you. "always."
you feel his grip tighten, his hand trembling slightly against your waist. he's always been the warrior, the weapon, the animal, but here in your arms, he's just logan, just a man whoâs been through more pain than anyone should endure.
"people see the claws and think iâm nothing but a beast," he murmurs, his voice thick with self-doubt. "like iâm more metal than man. they look at me and all they see is the damage i can do."
you pull back just enough to look into his eyes, your hands framing his face. he tries to look away, but you wonât let him. you press a soft kiss to his brow, then his cheek, and finally, to the corner of his mouth.
"they donât make you an animal," you whisper, your voice even and filled with conviction. "they make you strong. theyâre not just weapons, theyâre part of what makes you you."
his breath hitches at your words, and you feel him struggle against the years of conditioning, the years of being told that heâs nothing more than a killing machine. but you wonât let those words hold power over him anymore.
you reach down, gently taking his right hand in yours. with care, you press a kiss to each knuckle, feeling the warmth of his skin under your lips. then, you look up at him and slowly, deliberately, coax his claws out again.
you run your fingers lightly over the metal, tracing the curves and edges with the same care youâd give to a delicate piece of art.
logan watches you, his expression shifting from uncertainty to something deeper, something like awe. "you donât see me like everyone else does," he says, almost to himself.
"no," you agree, leaning in to press a kiss to the tip of one of his claws. "i see you, logan. the real you. and what i see is a man whoâs fought for so long to protect the people he loves, even when itâs cost him everything. your claws, theyâre not just about hurting or fighting. theyâre about protecting. theyâre about survival. and theyâre about who you have been for so long."
his chest rises and falls with each breath, the tension slowly easing from his body as your words sink in. for once, he doesnât feel like an animal. he feels like a man, just a man. and it's nice.
"besides," you say, tone lightening. "so you really think I'm such a baby i can't handle three little cuts?"
you both know you're underplaying it and though he would never admit it in the day, the moonlight across his face betrays his grateful expression. it's easier to believe that he hasn't hurt you too much when you're saying it yourself.
you lower his hand, resting it against your chest, over your heart.
he swallows hard, holding you as if heâs afraid to let go. "ain't gon' ever deserve you," he whispers, his voice thick.
"you deserve everything," you murmur back, holding him just as tightly. "and iâm going to keep reminding you of that, every day."
for a moment, heâs silent, just holding you close. then, in a voice thatâs barely more than a whisper, he says, "you almost make me feel human, darlinâ."
you pull back just enough to kiss him again, only because you know he'd much rather feel than hear. your kiss is slow and tender, letting him feel the truth in your touch.
he doesnât say anything more, but the way he kisses you back, the way he holds you, tells you everything you need to know.
he'll be okay. you'll make him okay. you gently push him to lie down and rest your head on his chest.
you love him, you love how he wants so badly to believe you, and most of all, you fucking love his claws.
--
this stemmed from a very nsfw thoughtâą but here we are, all warm and fuzzy. a mostly non-angsty fic is new for me!!
hope you liked this x
love, d <3
--
edit: i wrote an nsfw claw worship fic too đ€ đ€đœ >> unholy
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlett fanfiction#wolverine#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine angst#logan howlett angst#logan howlett xmen#xmen#xmen fanfiction
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wish you'd make me cry | c.h./the ghoul
â„ pairing | cooper howard/the ghoul x f!reader â„ word count | 2.3k â„ warning(s) | đ smut; rough, dom!cooper, frottage, sitting missionary, dirty talk, degradation kink, pet names, teasing, dacryphilia, bareback, drug/chem use (jet), shotgunning, high sex â„ summary | "Youâre such a needy fucking brat." :3c â„ notes | drabble (that's no longer a drabble lol) request for @tearueful, thank you bby!! this one really got away from me... i had to stop myself from writing lol. un-beta'd atm. masterlist | feel free to send in thots, questions, requests! | feedback is always appreciated â€ïž
Setting up camp for the night in an abandoned warehouse, you and Cooper wait out a radstorm that blows in off the horizon. Because while he loves sitting outside with a smoke, soaking in the rads until heâs buzzing with frenetic energy, you donât feel like hunting down RadAway tomorrow.
Itâs quiet apart from the distant sound of super mutants and ferals roaming the city, the sporadic roar of thunder, and rain tinging off the sheet metal roof. Thereâs still hours left until daylight, and it doesnât seem like the volatile weather will break soon.
Unfortunately, youâve read all the Grognak comics you could get your grubby hands on three times over, and thereâs not much else to pass the time besides scuff your boot along the concrete floor, and pluck at a stray thread hanging off your tattered sleeping bag.
Meanwhile, Cooper lounges on his side, unbothered. His hand - bare for once - props up his head, the unscarred skin of a commandeered digit stark against angry rad burns and ropey scars. Between the knuckles of his other hand, he rolls a vial of chem over and over in a mesmerizing flick of deft fingers.
A lantern sputters between you as the old battery struggles to keep it lit. Its jaundiced glow banishes the thick darkness; a fuzzy halo of light that elongates shadows and deepens the cuts of his face.
You kiss your teeth, and say, âHey, you got any more Jet?â
Lazy eyes slide towards you. A hairless brow quirks. âAnd if I did,â he asks, the vial pausing between his fingers, âwhy you wanna know?â
âDunno, Iâm bored⊠wanna get high?â
âWell, shit,â he whistles, bares his teeth. A low, crackling laugh rumbles from his chest. âWhy the fuck didnât you ask sooner.â
You shrug and crack a knuckle.
To be honest, the idea hadnât occurred to you at first. Now that it has, anticipation curls low in your belly. Not only has it been a long, long time since you last got high (the sensation a hazy, half-remembered dream of fuzzy warmth and whirling thoughts), you know Cooper always carries a top-notch stash.
The little chem fiend, you think fondly.
âSo,â you prompt. âWanna get high together or what?â
âSure as shit, darlinâ. Letâs party.â
He settles against the pockmarked wall beside you with a soft grunt, the grit of concrete digging into his back. Thigh to thigh, his body is a rad warm line of heat. A bloom of suffocating heat in the otherwise biting chill of a wasteland night. Gunpowder and smoke tickle your nose when he leans over to rifle through his bag, leather creaking.
Muted, mellow; everything fades into a silent companionship as you pass the red inhaler between you. With every puff, whorls of smoke curl from your mouths until a murky gray cloud hovers in the air; defining the edges of your crafted universe.
The acrid vapor of chem burns its way through your lungs and into your bloodstream. A bitter taste coats your fattened tongue, lips tingling as your palm smothers little coughs. A flood of static rushes down your nerve endings, sends your head spinning.
As your vision blurs, the tension leeches from rounded shoulders with a bone weary sigh. And with every slow clicking blink, colors spark to life in a distorted kaleidoscope. Head lolling to the side, you watch through heavy eyes as Cooper rattles the inhaler and takes a shallow hit.
When he exhales, little tendrils of smoke caress the plains of his cheek. Dance along the hollow nasal ridge. âAlmost out.â He grunts, your fingers brushing when he passes the cartridge back. âGo on, now. Finish it.â
The kind gesture (for him) touches you.
Then a faraway thought flutters.
Snags - settles into a nebulous desire.
And before you can second guess yourself, a rumble of thunder shakes the building. Wipes away the last of your common sense, and reservations. After all, why not? He was nice enough to share. You can too.
To his credit, Cooper doesnât startle when you slink into his lap - not that you expect him to, even without being chem-addled. He tracks your movements from beneath a heavy brow bone, the dark Nuka Cola of his eyes glittering like shattered glass in the wane light.
âHeh, this that kinda party then, darlinâ?â he asks once you settle, your thighs draped over his hips and your ass flush with his crotch. ââCuz youâll be wanting ta extricate yourself if it ainât.â
âBefore I do it for you.
Humming, you dip forward until your breasts brush over the wide expanse of his chest. Interest flickers to life behind your navel; cinders cracking and popping along your spine. While youâd never considered Cooper a sexual availability beforehand (what with his never-ending search for family), the laden weight of his gaze as it pauses on your chin before dropping lower sings through your blood.
Kickstarts your heart into a galloping stutter that thuds against your ribcage as longing hooks behind your navel, tugs sudden and sharp. The world spins.
Maybe, you think, peering at him from beneath the fan of your lashes. MaybeâŠ
âPervert,â you murmur, biting down on a small smile.
The knife-sharp smirk falls from his lips faster than a comedown from Psycho when your fingertips ghost over the curve of his jaw, turning his head towards you. Like this, you share breath, the scant space between you thrumming with energy.
So close you can see flecks of gold in the amber whiskey of his eyes.
Your forehead brushes over his; the rough drag of gnarled skin sending a shiver through your limbs. âLetâs share the last hit. Sâonly fair.â
Pausing, he considers you for several long moments.
His gaze bounces from yours to the playful curve of your mouth and back. A small eternity passes like this. And then - when youâre about to crawl away to lick your wounded pride - the most imperceptible of nods grants his assent.
Thereâs a hiss of aerosol, a lung burning inhale, and then youâre exhaling into the open gash of his mouth.
Wisps of smoke dance off your tongue onto his, the bow of your lips glancing off the swell of his top lip as you squirm closer. You feed him chem in a slow, steady stream until all the air has left you.
He groans - a wounded, low-throated sound.
Your eyes flutter open to find him already staring, his iris a thin ring around the Blackhole of his wide blown pupils. Hooded, hungry: a caged predator. You lick your lips, and in doing so, flick your tongue over his.
Your stomach swoops, âI --â
âYouâre such a needy fuckinâ brat, yâknow that, sweetheart?â
Whether it was an apology or some other retort stuck to the back of your teeth like hard candy, youâll never know because in the next moment a rough hand knocks the Jet out of your hand. The inhaler cracks against the concrete with a plastic smack before skidding off into the darkness.
A burning palm curls around your wrist, calloused fingers digging into your fluttering pulse point. âHey â hngg!â
He yanks you close, and you taste the violence in his kiss.
Harsh lips map out the softness of yours as teeth pinch and roll until your mouth is a swollen mess of tender flesh and smeared spit. Keeping up with the frenzied scrape of his tongue and the deep pulls of his kisses is like trying to weather a hurricane or fight off a Yao Guai with a single bullet.
âW-Wait,â you gasp, fingers twined through the lapels of his duster. âI donât --â
âShut up,â Cooper growls, worrying the swell of your bottom lip until a bead of blood bubbles to the surface. He sucks it away with a stifled moan, his hips kicking up against the plush of your ass.
âShut the fuck up right now. You know what you was doing - trying ta act innocent when youâve been gagginâ for it.â
Flustered, you pull back, âNo, thatâs not true!â
Itâs hard to keep your balance with chem pumping through your veins, and you sway to the side. The only thing keeping you upright is the bruising grip Cooper has on your wrist. âI havenât been â youâre wr-rong.â
He spits out a mean spirited chuckle. âIf thatâs what you need ta tell yourself, sweetheart.â A critical eye drags down the pathetic sight you make, crumbled as you are in his lap. âBut I know the truth. I felt you looking - pantinâ after me like a bitch in heat.â
â...â
Panic grips you by the throat, your pulse thundering against the thumb he strokes along the curve of your shoulder. You shouldâve known better.
Of course, heâd notice.
He was The Ghoul after all - best bounty hunter from this coast to the next. It was his job to perceive everything around him, sus out friend from foe.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
âIâm⊠Iâm sorry.â
What else can you say?
He brought you along (for whatever reason, fuck if you know why), and youâve caused nothing but trouble every step of the way. Itâs a wasteland miracle he hasnât kicked your ass and left you bleeding in the dirt by now.
I have to fix this. Whatever it takes.
âI ainât wanting you sorry.â
Gulping, you will away the sting of tears, and say, âPlease, donât kick me out.â
âYâknow, sometimes I think itâs a miracle you survived this long at all.â
âYou donât have to be so rude about itâŠâÂ
âListen good and well, sugar,â he says with a roll of his eyes, that tender hand brushing over your neck turning into a collar as he drags you close. His lips whisper over yours with every word. âI didnât go through all of this bullshit just ta get rid of you. Now--â
Hips rut up into you, dragging the firm line of his growing erection along the soft globes of your ass. âStop teasinâ and make yourself useful,â he says. âOr you will be sorry.â
Everything after that flicks in and out of focus like a zoetrope: the burning clasp of hands, the slick glide of hungry mouths, the frantic rock of your hips as you both chase after dry friction with a desperation that borders on madness.
Your hands donât know where to settle, fluttering from the nape of his neck to the breadth of his shoulders to the rippling muscle of his stomach as he rocks into you. Bites at any exposed skin that he can until his teeth leave marks youâll carry for days.
All the while the hard edges of his body crash into your softness like waves against an eroding shore. Liquid fire blazes in your belly like a raging wildfire, scorching you from the inside out until youâre dumb and dripping.
The chem snaking through your body enhances the littlest of sensations until you feel like one giant exposed nerve. Slick drenched and sweaty, you moan weakly and rest your forehead against his cheek.
âPlease,â you slur, thighs trembling where they squeeze at his live-wire hips. âSânot enough - need more. Wanna cum. Please, please, please. Make me cum.â
Cooper bites out a curse, his fingers biting into the fat of your ass. âYeah, sâthat right, sweetheart - dâyou think you deserve it for beinâ such a lil brat?â
âYes, yes, please, Iâll do anything. Just - hhahh, fuck!â
The fabric of your panties clings to your folds, and your pants chafe.
Your clit throbs with every thud of your heartbeat, every firm grind of his cock and low husk of his voice. Want him seated so deep inside you choke - your poor pussy struggling to take his cock as he rides you so hard you cry.
âAnything?â he asks with a breathless chuckle.
The devilish gleam of his eyes rattles your bones, shivers of electric anticipation fizzing through your veins like Quantum.
âWell, shit. Donât come cryinâ ta me when you regret it. Now, take off those fucking pants and ride my cock like a good girl.â
And when he bullies his way inside, those thick ridges dragging along gummy walls, you almost swallow your tongue. Heâs so big - the biggest youâve ever had.
Every inch is a struggle, a victory. Heâs not patient, heâs not kind. You donât want it any other way, spread so wide your pussy flutters pathetically, trying to push him out.
Then the fat head grazes past the rough patch of your g-spot, sliding home to kiss your cervix. Your knees lock around his ribs, your head tossing back as a high-pitched whine punches its way out of your throat.
âA-Ah! I canât â oh shit â youâre so,â you babble. âToo much!â
An ache spears deep, roots behind your navel.
âHeh, you asked for it, sweetheart. Look at me.â A scarred thumb wicks away a tear as you peel your eyes open with a sniffle. âThatâs it. Shit, you look sâpretty when you cry.â
He licks his skin clean, uses his wet thumb to reach between you and roll the pad over your abused clit. You jump, sliding up on his shaft only for gravity to drag you back down with a solid smack of skin, your limbs jello soft.
The motion slams him deeper and slick drips from you in a sticky gush to soak his balls. You cry out, reedy thin.
Cooper grunts, warns, âYou keep doing that and weâre not stoppinâ til youâre dripping cum.â
Though the thick haze of chem and syrupy sweet pleasure, you cobble together a grin and lick your way into his mouth. Tangle your tongues and suck as your hips arch into his. âPlease, ruin me,â you breathe.
A possessive greed glints at you from the depths of his hangman eyes.
âDonât go sayinâ I didnât warn you, sweetheart,â he promises.
#cooper howard x reader#cooper howard x you#the ghoul x you#the ghoul x reader#cooper howard smut#the ghoul smut#cooper howard#the ghoul#fallout smut#fallout fanfic
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I'M HERE
Caitlyn Kiramman x reader
The world was a graveyard. Empty bodies sprawled wherever your eyes dared to rest, their forms eerily still against the broken earth. Smoke lingered like ghosts, weaving through the crimson-soaked air, and the silenceâit was deafening. A silence that rang louder than the echoes of distant screams and the fading clash of steel. Every step was a battle. Your heels ached, and each hurried pace clawed at the fragile thread of breath youâd managed to reclaim. Muscles screamed, ribs throbbed, and yet your heart felt heavier than all the pain combined.
It was over, but the echoes were alive, ripping through every fiber of your being. Blood painted the ground like a second skin, mingling with tears on faces frozen in grief. Uniforms you recognized too well lay in heaps, torn and lifeless. Your own mirrored their ruin: fabric ripped, knees bleeding, and the once-pristine material soaked with blood and dirt.
She had been here.
Caitlyn. The thought pierced through the haze, sharper than any blade. You had let her go, trusted her to do what only she could. Youâd clasped her hand, pressed your forehead to hers in a silence that spoke louder than words. Her hair, always neatly pulled back, had fallen loose in soft, disheveled strands, catching the light like a fleeting halo. You had laughed then, despite the weight crushing your chest, at how something so ordinary could feel like salvation. Her lips had lingered on yours, warm and hesitant, as if trying to memorize the taste. Neither of you dared speak, fearing the finality words might bring. Instead, you held her tighter, prayed harder, and let go.
Now, the world felt colder. Your legs carried you without thought, stumbling over shattered armor and the crimson pools glinting in the dim light. Bodies of the red-cloaked guards lay scattered, lifeless faces hidden beneath hardened masks. And then you saw herâAmbessa, draped in her own destruction. Her fall shouldâve felt like justice, but it didnât. It felt empty, like the cost had been too high. Blood stained your boots, but you couldnât tell whose it was anymoreâhers, yours, the innocent you might have taken in your desperate bid to end this.
And then, there she was.
Your breath hitched, stolen by the sight of her crumpled form. Caitlyn. Her body lay broken, crimson streaking her uniform, and for a moment, the world shattered around you. A scream clawed at your throat, but it never came, swallowed by the surge of adrenaline that propelled you forward.
âCaitlyn!â Her name tore from your lips as you fell to your knees beside her. The coldness of her skin bit against your shaking hands as you cradled her face. Blood streaked her features, and her right eye⊠Gods, her eye. The jagged wound cut across her face, fresh and raw, and it took everything in you not to break. She stirred, murmuring your nameâa sound so faint you thought youâd imagined it. And then she was in your arms, her weight collapsing into you like sheâd been waiting for you all along.
âIâm alrightâŠâ she whispered, the words brushing against your ear like a fragile promise. Her arms wrapped around you, trembling as they pulled you close. âIâm alright⊠Itâs fine.â
But it wasnât fine. Not to you. The image of her crumpled body, blood pooling beneath her, burned into your mind. Even now, as you held her, as her warmth seeped into your skin, it haunted you.
âI know,â you choked out, though your voice betrayed you. Tears blurred your vision as your fingers cupped her face, lingering near the wound you couldnât bring yourself to touch. âCaitlyn, what happened? We need toââ
âNo,â she interrupted, her voice soft but firm. Her hands rose to cradle your head, grounding you even as her own strength faltered. âItâs fine.â
Her reassurance shouldâve calmed you, but all it did was break you further. Yet, you nodded, because what else could you do? The love in her gazeâher single, piercing blue eyeâwas unwavering, even now. Her cheeks, flushed with exhaustion, and the strands of hair plastered to her forehead only made her more real. More human. More hers.
And you loved her all the more for it. The fat of your thumb traced her cheek, avoiding the wound as your heart screamed to make her pain your own. âI thought I lost you.â
âIâm here.â
Her arms tightened around you as if to prove her words. Slowly, painfully, she shifted, wincing as the adrenaline faded and the pain of her injuries set in. You rose with her, supporting her weight as she leaned against you. The war was over.
TAGLIST: @Kaimythically @lewd-alien @greysontheidiot @jolyne @sapphic-ovaries @tlouloser @prwttiestbunny @visobsession @kiki5gigi @thesevi0lentdelights @lvlymicha @stickycherritart @rob1nbuckl3ys @femininologies @dinakisser @viajeros--sin--destino @GodessAgrona @patronagrona
#AđœđđđVđ° ( arcane )#caitlyn league of legends#league of legends caitlyn#caitlyn arcane#arcane caitlyn#arcane caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn kiramman x reader#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn kiramman arcane#caitlyn kiramman x you#caitlyn x reader#caitlyn lol#caitlyn smut#commander kiramman#arcane season 2#arcane x reader
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capturing angels is easy. snipe them from the skies, break their halos, and watch the divine light fade from their eyes as you turn them into fleshlights.
capturing a seraph is harder.
they live in the upper atmosphere, far beyond reach. luckily nothing grabs their attention better than desecrating nature. youâll have one hovering above you the moment you start pouring oil into the river.
but theyâre invisible, they donât actually do anything. they just watch with seething rage. but you can tell where they are, if you look carefully at the ripples in the sky. and they can be speargunned like any other piece of meat, theyâre not intangible.
but theyâre fast. once they get hit theyâll try to fly away, faster than you can blink. but itâs against their code to break something holy. thatâs why i soaked the speargun rope in the blood of that drunk priest. it simply canât snap the rope.
itâll try attack you now, lifting itâs veil of invisibility and showing you itâs form. itâs beautiful, itâs blinding. thatâs why we wear these industrial goggles to block most of its rays.
after the initial blast of light, you can see itâs true form. a 3m tall body of white porcelain, with undulating red spirals flowing from her talons. 3 halos, 2 pairs of wings, 6 uncaring eyes. it tries to attack us, shred us to pieces. but with a few more unbreakable spears, sheâs essentially pinned in place.
it lets out a screech, attracting other seraphs. they come, but they just watch from afar. the leaves of all the trees nearby shrivel up. putting 2 pikes into her main wings, she canât move. turning her head to look at us like an owl, she starts to speak.
âSURRENDIPITY. AMALGAMATION. DESECRATION. VOLITION. QUINTESSENCE.â
itâs best to just ignore them during this part. and instead just focus on the halos. thatâs the target.
striking it with tools - sparks flying off - itâs amazing how much these floating discs feel like theyâre anchored in place. they simply donât react. but thatâs a boon in our favour, not theirs. it means, eventually, theyâll shatter. if they warped itâd be exponentially harder to destroy.
eventually, the first one breaks with the help of a winch attached to the truck.
the seraph starts to struggle against her binds now, strange new feelings of danger making it panic.
âLIGHT FLOW BEAUTY RESIST ERODE TRANQUILITY. WATER AIR SPLIT GROW RECEDE. MAPLE LIMESTONE WIND TIDE BLOOD.â
the second halo breaks.
âSMOKE FIRE WAR WAR WAR. SHARK DARKNESS DEATH. MISERY. BLOODSHED. FEAR. TERROR. ACID BLINDNESS DECAY.â
the last halo cracks, itâs about to give out. the seraph is straining against the spears, shaking, desperate emotion in her eyes.
âLOVE WISDOM HAPPINESS. JOY PROSPERITY ENDLESS. RAINDROPS. YOURS. OWNERSHIP SUBJUGATION FREEDOM. LOVE EMPATHY ENVY PLEASURE RESPITE. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. HOSPITALITY. INTIMACY. MERCY.â
the halo shatters to a million pieces. the area is no longer illuminated by some unseen source. the ripples in the sky disappear, the watchers retreat, uninterested now. the scared creature is speechless, her eyes wide and unbelieving. dirt now sticks to her body, instead of just sliding off. flesh instead of ceramic. we take the spears out, but bind her with ropes much harsher now. sheâs still has strength, but itâs no longer unfathomable like it was.
now sheâs just another fallen angel, about to learn the one thing divinity lacks, and humanity excels in. physicality. we have a lot of breaking in to do before sheâs ready to join the other angels downtown. or perhaps iâll find a private, permanent buyer. something like this would probably fetch enough to let us get out of this shithole finally.
as we throw her into its new room, a cold, stone room, with hooks in the walls to attach chains to, she speaks again.
âhurt. sadness. freedom fear anxiety. lost indecision hubris. mercy pain silence. separation beauty uncountability. exploration ⊠limitations. unknown darkness fear. â
âdonât worry darling. weâll have you singing again in no time.â
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thinking about eddie who is your older brotherâs best friend.
who youâve been madly in love with for years. and maybe, just maybe he finally realizes that he really wants you too.
he realizes it one summer eve when you show up on his doorstep after your shift at family video. when your piece of shit car overheats and breaks down on the side of the road by forest hills trailer park.
and who else can you go to but eddie?
eddie who opens the door in a cut off black sabbath t-shirt, and a pair of boxers. his hair is tied at the back of his neck in a low bun, but his curls are still damp from sweat.
the summer has been much hotter than usual, and the lack of a/c in the trailer has him ready to melt. but then he hears a soft knock on his front door, and there you are.
your skin is covered in a thin layer of sweat, the setting sun casting a halo around the crown of your head. you look like an angel, or maybe a devil, come to tempt him.
because how could he feel this way about his best friendâs sister?
despite his inner struggle he remains casual as he leans against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest which shows off the muscles in his biceps.
but he canât help but notice the way your eyes roam the expanse of his arms, and your thighs press together. and oh boy, heâs really in trouble, isnât he?
he keeps a cigarette placed between his lips, the cherry end igniting as he inhales deeply. eddie looks you up and down with a small smirk, before letting the smoke billow out from between his lips.
âwell, well. what can i do for you, sweet cheeks?â
#the freak writes đ«§#i⊠donât ask me what this is#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x fem reader#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson blurb#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x reader
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SOFTER, SOFTEST !
ft. curly x fem!reader
tags. piv, body worship sort of, rimming, big dick, tit job for like 2 seconds, creampie, size kink, scent kink, ballsâŠ
note. hai.. will get back to leon soon and I think mw fandom is lacking noncon and incest fics severely.. so i will get on that with jimmy. donât know how to characterise him yet so ooc .. just infatuated with his breasts tbh i donât know anything works in this universe LMFAO like idk just take this with a grain of salt.. for miss @pupwashing please ignore typos !! unedited :3
You miss Curly.
You miss him more than you did yesterday, more than an idiot misses the point, like a dick misses a wet pussyâYou just miss him.
It has been four months. Twenty-one weeks. One-hundred and forty days. Three-thousand, five-hundred and twenty hours. Too many minutes, a hell of a lot more seconds, the closer he gets the further he seems to be.
Big numbers make it feel like youâre getting nowhere so you cut those twenty-fours into one day. One day and heâll be home. One day and youâll be in bed with his stomach crushed against yours, the warmth of his flesh searing yours, fucking him into next year, until he loses his halo.
Videos arenât enough, photos donât do him justice, toys donât live up to the feel of a real dick. You miss that face he makes when he cums - itâs a block away from his crying face. You miss him face down, ass up, punching holes into his dignity one thrust at a time. God, you miss that dick, how he goes red all over, him in nothing but that stupid fucking smile.
One day, you tell yourself in the mirror that morning. One day, you tell yourself when you take your lunch break. One day, one more microwaved meal for one, one more lonely night.
It used to be a big deal, you think. The whole going to space thing. Curly says itâs no big deal, but youâre pretty sure that in your great-grandpaâs heyday it was impressive. Youâve seen videos of hoards gathering to watch a ship take off, to greet crews when they landed. Today, itâs you and a plump, older woman in her bathrobe waiting in the cold.
You could spot him in any crowd, glowing like a ray of light, mostly because heâs tall, partly because everything fades into abstraction when you notice how tight his uniform is. Good god. Did he get bigger? Youâre starting to sweat, itâs hard to focus when your boyfriend is making a long-sleeved jumpsuit look naughty.
Curlyâs hair is a little longer, blond curls licking the nape of his neck, falling onto his forehead, his eyes are so bright and his smile is white. He looks like a policemanâs emotional support dog. A really busty support dog. He scans the sad scattering of friends, family and drivers. Youâre so taken off guard by the sight of his buttons popping you almost forget to wave at him.
He beams when you spot him, suitcase dragging behind him as he jogs over. Everything is in slow motion. Like that old movie - Baywatch. Heâs so excited to see you, taking you into his big arms, shoving your face in his chest like he knows just where youâd like to be. Youâre disappointed in your lungs when they beg for air, lifting your head and placing it on his shoulder instead. He smells like sweat, hotel shampoo and something metallic.
âOh.â You open your eyes and spot Jimmy skulking behind him, an unlit cigarette between his lips. You narrow your eyes at him, and Jimmy does the same. Real shady guy, the type youâd cross the street to avoid. Heâs always trailing after Curly like a bad omen. âHe canât come home with us, honey,â you tell him gently, not wanting to sound like a bitch.
Which you are.
You donât want him smoking in your car, you donât want Curly to invite him over for takeout because that means itâll go on for hours and you wonât get your mouth on his big, stupid dick for another day.
âHm? Why not?â Curly asks, pressing a kiss into your hairline, the tip of his nose bumping yours tenderly.
âI donât have space in my car for both of you and the luggage, sheâs small. What if she tips over? Youâre heavy enough as it is.â You smile at him, cheekily, giving his newfound hips a squeeze. Theyâve always been there, but now theyâre like wow. Itâs only been four months, is he on steroids? Did he get pregnant? He is glowing⊠God knows whatâs up there in the atmosphere, some cosmic horror waiting to knock up your poor boyfriend.
Curly shrugs, offering an apologetic smile to his friend. âYou heard the lady.â
Jimmyâs permanent scowl seems to deepen, cementing itself in his dermal layer. âWhatever, man.â He shoves his hands into his pockets, shoulders slumped as he makes a beeline for the phonebox.
He lifts his suitcase and loads it into your car and you watch his biceps flex. You see through his clothes, you remember every freckle on his back, mapping them out like stars, leading to those dimples low on his back, the perfect resting spot for your thumbs when you grab his ass. His body is so convenient. Like he was made to be fucked every which way.
âI missed you, I thought about you everyday,â he says against your lips, leaning in to kiss you over the gearshift. âI put your picture in the cockpit actually, Jim didnât like it, but it kept me going.â
Always so earnest. You almost feel bad for missing his body more than him.
âAww, Curly, honey,â you coo, pinching his cheek and cupping the other, âI missed you even more.â He nuzzles into your hand, eyes closed as you comb your fingers through his messy hair.
As much as you would like to indulge his sentimentality, you have no patience to spare. If you sit here any longer, youâre going to soak through your jeans and onto your leather seat.
You put the car in driveâ
âCaptain? Open up!â Thereâs a younger man knocking on the window, leaving his grubby handprints behind. âI wanted you to meet my mom!â His voice is muffled through the glass.
You lock the windows.
âDid you lock the windows?â Curly asks, lips downturned like heâs about to pout.
You unlock the windows.
âOf course not, baby.â You pat his head and grit your teeth.
They talk for fifteen whole minutes.
Thank you for taking care of him, he can be such a handfulâOh no, not at all, he was a joy to haveâIâm glad he came back in one pieceâHeâs a good kidâOh, I donât know about thatâMooomâIâd be happy to have him back for our next long haulâSeriously, Captain?â
You squirm in place, shifting from side to side, thighs pressed together as your panties stick to your core. When Curly introduces you to his crew mate, you offer a strained smile and nothing more.
The window whirs shut. You make it home in record breaking time with four tickets and only a few points taken off your license. It doesnât matter. Youâre home, inside with the curtains drawn and Curly still has clothes on.
Thatâs not right.
âTake it off.â
âHuh?â Curly pushes his luggage into the corner, the top few buttons of his jumpsuit have come undone and you see the tuft of blond hair on his chest.
âTake it off, please?â
âMy clothes?â
âNo, your wig, baby.â
He laughs, good-natured, mild-mannered, and so fucking hot.
If he wonât do it then you will.
âI havenât even showeredââ He starts, but you shush him with a kiss, murmuring a âgoodâ against his pink mouth.
When you part, spit keeps your lips connected, the string of fate or whatever. You go in for another, hands fisting the fabric of his collar, forcing him down towards you. Curly lets out a keening noise somewhere in the back of his throat like a dog scratching at the bathroom door.
âI know, my baby, Iâll give it to you.â You pout at him, thumbing his kiss-swollen lips and watching his eyes droop. âOh noâŠâ The buttons on his uniform when you try to open them.
âItâs okay,â he mumbles through a mouthful of his own spit, âcheap stuff.â
âI know, but you looked so good in it.â Itâs a shame, but you need to see him bare, sweat as his only accessory.
âYou think?â He near bats his lashes at you, stepping out of his uniform, and you swoon.
âGod, yeah.â You push him down on the couch, Curly falls back with a soft grunt. Itâs not very big, especially for a man of his size, but itâll do for now.
His cock swells in his boxers, you feel it beneath you as you sit atop him, admiring the view below. The wide expanse of his chest, the sweat pooling in his collarbones, those tits. You donât know what else they could be.
âWow.â You take a handful of his chest, plucking his puffy pink nipple. âLook at these, I might have some competition.â
âShut it,â he huffs out a laugh through his nose, and the tips of ears redden.
âIâm serious, baby, youâre, like, huge.â You canât tear your eyes away from his soft flesh, moulding beneath your fingertips like dough, you could fuck them if you really wanted. âWhat happened out there?â
âHad a lot of spare time, I guess.â Curly smiles sheepishly, expression contorting when you bend your neck to suck his nipple into your mouth with a wet pop! His jaw slackens, and his cock jumps like itâs been given quite the fright.
You only have one complaint. His tan lines have faded. Floating through the galaxy for months on end can do that to you. You miss them, but you missed Curly more, so youâll make do with what you have.
And you have more than enough. More than you can handle really. You canât even get a grasp on his bicep, heâs stupidly big and your hand is on the smaller side.
You shift backwards, wet cunt dragging over his impossibly big bulge where only his underwear keeps you from him - you kind of admire your pussy for being able to take it. Your mouth moves on, hands still groping as much as you can of his chest as you lick the ridges of his stomach, itâs like heâs forged out of marble.
Softly, Curly rubs the back of your head, trying his very best to keep his eyes on you and not let them fall shut. You feel his stomach muscles rippling under your tongue. They contract when you trace around his navel, placing a sloppy kiss just below it, where a patch of curly hair leads to his wet cock.
His cock is drooling through the white fabric of his boxers, theyâre soaked enough to be see-through, you spot the fat, pink head that has been missing your kisses. âYouâre so wet, baby, is it all for me?â
With a pitiful noise, he tosses his head back and nods sadly. Itâs funny to hear a man of his stature whine, but it suits Curly so well.
Your fingers hook in the waistband, tugging his underwear downwards until his fat cock springs out, itâs so fucking fat it weighs itself down. The leaky head twitches, pre dripping down his thick shaft, leaving a moonlit trail to his heavy balls. So full of seed they might burst.
âOh⊠Poor baby.â You give them a gentle squeeze, and Curlyâs eyes roll back into his skull, hips jolting upwards.
The urge to take it into your mouth right then and there is tempting, you hold back, you want to take your time with him. Make him feel special. You seat yourself between his thighs, one leg thrown over your shoulder so itâs easier to fit on the sofa. Your thumb runs along his pink slit, dribbling out pearly strands of pre that web between your fingers. Curly whimpers, biting down on his fist.
âThese are cute.â You take note of his meaty thighs, how theyâve only gotten bigger, a comfier place to sit. The stretch marks donât go unnoticed, streaking purple and pink along the milky flesh of his inner thighs like faded brushstrokes.
âMmmph.â He blinks at you, pouty, lashes wet with impatient tears.
âYeah, mmmph, I know, baby, be patient.â Youâre a big, fat hypocrite.
His scent is stronger down here, clean and soapy, but the tang of sweat prospers, and the underlying smell of him. The smell of his pillow, the smell of his few-days old clothes, the smell of his towel after he works out.
A few more kisses here and there, using the flat of your tongue to lave over strips of his sinewy skin, leaving him spit-slicked and breathless and flushed. You hoist his other leg over your shoulder, heâs heavy, but youâre horny and itâs given you a sudden burst of vitality.
âFuck,â he gasps out, gripping the top of the couch, one arm over his face as you lick up the seam of his balls, mouth latching to the swollen underside, where they feel heaviest.
Curlyâs cock leaks into your hair, the weight brings it down to rest on your face, tip pressed into your hairline, dripping down the bridge of your nose like sweat while you make a mess of his balls. Stuffing them into your mouth one at a time, using your hand to give the lonelier one a squeeze when your lips are kissing up on another.
The kiss to his perineum is enough to make him moan. Curly knows whatâs coming. You go lower, nose nestled into his balls, breathing him while your hands spread his ass cheeks apart to get to the spot you love most.
Curlyâs hole is darker than the rest of him, not quite pink like his cock, ruddier. Heâs tight and he smells good. So good. Youâve never minded the hair, you think itâs pretty cute. Curtains match the drapes.
Affectionately, you kiss his puffy rim, and it throbs.
He lets out a groan that is half mortified and half ready-to-blow-his-load.
âSure,â Curly says, voice breaking as you circle his hole with the tip of your tongue. He tastes like him, musky and sweet and coppery. Curly is home and your tongue is in his ass where it belongs, wriggling its way past his pulsing rim, hopefully all the way up into his heart.
Your thumb and middle finger stretch to meet around the girth of his cock, stroking him slowly as you work open his asshole, tongue pushing back in when he pushes you out. Once you deem him wet enough, you push a single finger knuckle-deep and he cries out, hips bucking up off the couch.
Much to his dismay, which he shows in the form of a pained whimper, your hand leaves his cock to splay over his stomach and hold him down to the best of your abilities. âYou have to stay still, honey.â
You feed a second finger into him, his hole squelching as you curl them inside of him. Curly clenches tight enough to cut off your blood circulation, sucking you back in when you ultimately pull them out with a lewd noise. He opens his mouth on instinct, pupils so blown out his light eyes seem dark, you push your fingers down his throat and he sucks.
âYouâre so cute,â you mumble, watching him intently, heâs like a pin-up model of some sort. An X-rated action figure. âTaste good?â
âNot really,â Curly says. Heâs so honest it makes you laugh. He shuffles back to rest his head on the arm of the couch, cock bobbing, still leaking like nobodyâs business, leaving little droplets of wet in its wake.
Itâs ready to burst, but youâre not done with him yet. You havenât had your fill. When you spend half your time with your head between his thighs, you miss out on all the faces he pulls. So you spit on your tits to get them wet, his cock is slick enough, nothing should chafe when you squeeze his cock between them.
âChrist,â Curly grits out, brows knitting together, the second coming and he hasnât even had his first.
âYou wanna cum like this?â You ask, kneading your tits on either side of his cock, each time the tip pops up past your cleavage, it bumps your chin and leaves it slick.
âNoâŠâ He shakes his head, curls bouncing, sticking to his forehead, the hair near his nose is curlier with the added sweat. âInside.â
âI can do that for you, babe.â You smile at him, acting like that wasnât your plan in the first place, like you havenât been dying for a warm creampie since he landed back on earth. You give the fat head of his dick one sloppy kiss, making sure to tongue his slit before you clamber on top of him.
It should be an easy task to get him inside, youâve been wet for the last twenty-four hours, your pussy is throbbing like itâs got a heartbeat. Slick dries on your inner thighs and your clit is buzzing, a rush of arousal passes over you like a cold wave when you lift your hips to guide his dick into you.
Oh. Wow. Thatâs a stretch. ïżŒ
In theory, you know big Curlyâs dick is. Itâs a fucking horsecock, and you have eyes bigger than your stomach. You always overestimate yourself. You think youâre gonna be just fine, then his fat tip breaches your little hole, no matter how wet, and you lose it, scrambling to grasp his shoulders as your body is racked with shivers.
Curlyâs kind enough to steady you, big hands finding purchase on your hips. His needy noises get through to you, and you push on, sliding down and taking him to the hilt. His dick curves upwards into your cervix, rubbing the fleshy opening as you adjust to his dick after four whole months of nothing worthwhile.
Heâs so big. Youâre so wet, slippery pussy slicking up his cock, and making things easier for the both of you.
âI love you.â Curly shudders, looking right into your eyes like heâs afraid to blink and miss a single thing.
âI love you too,â you tell him, eyes on his tits.
Heâs so deep, feet planted on the couch as he fucks into you, unable to help himself. You get it. Youâre tight, warm, and wet. Better than his fist. Your pussy is noisy, squelching each time you bottom you, grinding your clit into his pelvis, feeling his cock twitch each time you tighten around him. The plap of his balls hitting your ass when enough momentum is built up.
Curlyâs helpful, when he sees you tense up, throwing your head back and rolling your hips over and over, you want him deeper and deeper, he wets his fingers with your slick and rubs figure eights into your clit.
Itâs just enough to make your toes curlâOh, who are you kidding? You near blackout when you cum, moaning so loud you scare yourself. You see black. Like someoneâs drawn the curtains in your mind, ending the show. Your nails dig into his skin, but heâs always put up with that like a champ.
âHoly fuck.â Shaking still, you blink to clear your vision, youâve wet his navel and his tummy and the couch might be ruined. You donât even remember when he came inside you. What a shame. Feels good though, still warm. Sighing, you lay against his chest, Curlyâs soft cock slips out of your hole, resting on his thigh. âWelcome home, Captain.â
#curly mouthwashing smut#curly smut#captain curly x reader#captain curly smut#mouthwashing x reader#mouthwashing x you#mouthwashing smut#curly x reader#mouthwashing curly x reader
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Thatâs totally fine man. Take all the time you need
Thanks for the memes tho :) you didnât have give my ask anything at all so I really appreciate this
Oh shit hopefully Iâm not late for this but uhhh
Trick or treat
Btw I can also give you a treat back if youâd like one đ€
I'm tooo tired to draw rn but you get memes from my phone, Happpy Hallloweeen!
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a house in nebraska ! rafe cameron x fem!reader
summary ; you were the reason he won't come home but you still call home. this story is based on the song of ethel cain.
warnings : it's angst. fully angst. it's about toxic relationship. so violence, arguing and fighting, sick behavior, daddy and mommy issues, the urge of love and being loved, mentions of drugs, the feeling of being misunderstood and unsteady. home is used as a metaphor of relationship. it's about inner rage too. slight of smut but very little. both rafe and reader being fucked up. southern goth/small town coded.
author's note : it's my first time writing angst so be easy one me please ! as i said, it's based on " a house in nebraska" by ethel cain (because she's my favorite artist and my muse.) and a lot of her songs make me think of rafe, but i also take inspo of her others songs like crush, strangers, and hard times. also a hint of bet on losing dogs by mitski.
i dont know how many words are in this works, but i think around 3k ? it's a one-shot ! BETTER TO READ IT WHILE LISTENING TO A SAD SONG. (a house in nebraska (live version)or anything else)
you lived in the nebraska with rafe, he was your man and you were his girl. it was a small town that allowed you to be just him and you against the world, to be safe from the rest. but the ugly truth was that your house had become a raging mess. the mattresses had become dirty, the silence too comfortable, the night too long, the emptiness too deep, the love too absent and the violence too present. everyone was angry here, even demons and the silence.
rafe was a storm, and every time you tried to calm it, you became further worse. no, you weren't becoming like him, you were becoming him, the mirror of his emotions, full of rage and inexpressible feelings. like a bomb, you needed it to come out, to scream and explode. like a bomb, you needed to hurt, and destroy everything in your way.
you had built this house together, when he still worked with his hands, oh god, how much you loved those big and strong hands, the dirt and bruises on his skin. the softness of his palms when he touched you, the pulsating veins engraved. they were made to love you, to caging you. they were always rushed with blood and wounds because of his work, but despite how dirty they were when he came home, they were always pure and clean on your body. but you also were so in love with his messy sweaty hair, caressing by the wind. he was tall and handsome, the kind of man who worked all day, and drunk at night, some whiskey or bourbon. but never missed to please the needs of his girl.
when he smoked his red marlboros on the porch, you were sitting on his lap like a sleepy girl to take a nap on his heavy arms that managed to hug your body. when he took a sip of his cold beer, while you had nothing to do but being his own pretty girl. when he allowed you to bathe him, cleaning the mess and the sweat. when you used to learn him how to play some classic music on the old piano, and he was just turned on by the way you used so damn well your fingers, and making you sit on the board, and fuck you right there, even if the windows were wide open.
at this time, you would have die for him.
when he still listened to what you said, when he still answered your calls and did not make you sick by his silence, when you laughed every time he came home . but now you were starting to hate the fact that he was coming.
how did the man who was supposed to make you so happy manage to break you so easily? but you weren't an angel either, oh far from it, you had neither wings nor halo on your head, you didn't even have god in your heart. you made him, like all men, your enemy.
it was four in the morning, it was still dark, you were waiting in the living room.
the tv wasn't on. rafe had broken it during an argument. that wasnât the only thing he shattered, you had to be the hardest thing he does. not even with his fists, with just the force of his words, the way they were murderous, the way they had the force to tear your heart open and crushed it into pieces.
most people would say that this man was not the type to cry, that a man doesn't cry, but rafe cried. and you had seen him a couple of times, and the first time you saw him burst into tears, you knew straight away that it was the real him. that behind all this hatred, this anger, there was a hurted little boy. and who grew up with an open wound, a wound impossible to heal, even with all the love in the world.
rafe was the kind of man who screamed, who cried, who bled, a fallen angel who had lost god along the way, who had been ignored, but mostly, never heard.
when he opened the door to the house, you hated the strong smell of alcohol, but also of blood. you never asked him for anything, the only thing you wanted was for him to come home on time for dinner, to go to bed with you. but no one, absolutely, no one tamed a dog like him. and you rathered not bet on losing dogs.
âwhere were you ?? â you had already started shouting due to lack of patience, getting up from the chair to confront him.
you had seen him sigh, making that bored face, like you had no reason to be upset, that face that made all women become even worse.
âif you had the same energy to scream when we fuck, we would have a fantastic sex life.â
âseriously, rafe? you want to play the asshole, right now ? â
â it will suit your bitch behavior, so why not ?â
you slapped him very hard in the face. what obviously rafe didn't find this very amusing, he crushed you in the wall, pinned your hands above your head.
â don't you dare slapping me again. you want to be mean, sweetheart ? i can be meaner. let's see....oh this is the necklace that your mom offered to you before leaving ? how sweet. maybe, i can sell it for a good price. â
â rafe. don't. â
he shushed you, by putting his other hand on your mouth. â you're not allowed to talk right now. you had your turn for, now, it's my fucking turn. and i will do whatever the fuck i want ! it's my house, my rules. â
he unhooked the necklace, as you tried to break away from his grip but he closed his fingers tighter against your wrists.
âI'm going to kill you, no matter what you do, i'm going to kill you. â
âmurder meâ he said with a louder voice. âiâm asking you to murder me! itâs probably the only good thing youâll have done well in your life. you know even if i die tonight, i will die yours. even if you kill me, i will always be here.â
he released you, and you exploded. âyou have exceeded the limits, rafe! â
â since when are there boundaries between us, sugar? we're freaks, remember? â
you threw away the first object you found, it was an empty coffee cup. you threw it at his face. but he had dodged it with a sick smile. your jaw clenched, eyes blazing with fury, you were out of control. you were what he wanted you to be every time he came home late
â oh you can do better than that baby. i'm sure i taught you how to shoot better than this when i showed you how to kill? do you remember? â
â this, this fucking attitude, rafe is why everybody leaves you ! â
â yes. and do i fucking care, y/n ? do i fucking care ? i grew up in a family where nobody loved me, nobody reached after me, nobody looked after me, nobody dared to pay attention to me and you tell me i have to care about everyone leaving me ? no, it's not fucking fair ! so do you understand ? i don't care. if you want to leave, you know better than me that the door is open because you're the only one to be stucking in front, waiting like a fucking dog that i come come. â
â fine. i leave ! â
you took the keys of the car, even if rafe hated that you drove, especially at midnight. but you were too upset, too mad.
your man wasn't done with you. he stood in front of the car you were driving.
âif you think i'm afraid of killing you, when you were the one who taught me how to do that, you're wrong. â
" yes ? then show me how well i did my job. kill me. â
â rafe, iâm not kidding. â
â perfect, we are both serious then. â
you moved the car forward, pressing the pedal with your feet. you hitted him with the car. it was strong but not violent either.
you got out of the car quickly to check on him. but he was smiling, a little blood on his face.
âare you sick!? â
â i raised you well, i fear. now, lick this face. i can see in your eyes how pretty you find me covered with blood, so please yourself, lick it all. â
â wait, i will find some tisâŠ.â
â no, with your tongue. clean my whole face with your tongue. don't waste anything. i want to be able to kiss you right after, and recognize the taste of my blood all over your mouth. you want to be sick ? make me feel sick too. â
maybe you were too young to realize that some loves could be bad. but this relationship was toxic. you had both destroyed each other, and it was complicated when you saw this world, this universe only through your union. you felt like you had lost a lot, like you had lost everything, like you had failed. maybe, you were the failure, and rafe, the problem. but also, maybe, he was the failure and you, the problem.
and you hated not knowing what was going on in rafe's head, you hated that no one on this earth could figure it out, and that even rafe himself didn't know it. he was crazy, he was sick but that wasn't all, it couldn't be just that.
you gave up the fight, going to the bathroom to take a bath. you needed some peace because the house didn't feel like a home anymore.
sometimes wheezie would call you to see if you were okay, she had grown up, and you lied to her all the time. because it hurt so much to be two in a relationship, but not feel like you were a part of it anymore. and the worst part of it all was that you could kill yourself for just one minute of affection, just one second of happiness, just one moment in the past when everything was okay. where rafe was still the sweet little boy you knew. but the stories were not meant to have a happy ending.
it was hard this feeling, this lack when he still lived with you in this terrible house. but one day you'll be the reason he won't come home again. but you would always call home. you promised yourself. because it would always be yours.
rafe had joined you in the bathtub. and you could tell by his red and empty eyes, his blank stare that he had been crying. he cried and he was not the drugs, he was you, only you.
and you didn't mention it. you didn't say anything. you preferred to stay smart and not start another fight.
âthe walls could break down with so much screams. â you said, laughing slightly.
âmaybe we should sell the house. â
âi like this house. i feel at home here. i have nowhere to go. â you lied for the two first, but not for the last.
and it was true. you had built everything, paved everything here. you had remade a world. you couldn't leave, you couldn't leave anything. and above all, you were too tired to leave.
it would be a lie to say that you didn't had sex in the bathtub, that you didn't feel his tears on your shoulder, that you didn't feel his thrusts get harder each time a sob broke out his empty eyes, that you didn't feel how much he was breaking every time you took pleasure. because, it was hard for him to seeing you being happy. because it was so hard to take care of you. because it was so hard to feel loved and being loved. you were both too young, too stupid, too sick for love.
and rafe wanted to make you happy without sex, without all this selfish sex. no, he wanted to make you happy by some casual things. but sometimes, you pissed him off so bad to the point, he wanted to leave. but how can a man who hoped to be loved can leave the woman who promised to cherish him ? it was too tired, too angry, and too unsteady to leave. you broke him too. and it was sad for him, because you were the only one he was not scared to tell it hurts.
but at six in the morning you were fighting again as if it were a ritual, a need, a desire to destroy each other, as if sometimes love needed to be violent and destructive to work. actually, for freaks like you, surely.
âwhy did you throw my fucking drugs down the toilet?! â
âbecause you donât need that!â â
âyou donât know what i need, you barely know what i want! you had no fucking right to do that. â
â don't be a crybaby ! â
â repeat. i dare you to repeat. â
âcrybaby! you're a fucking crybaby, rafe! your new personality changes nothing about the boy you were and will always be! what, you don't like the truth ? bad for you, i'm about to tell you what everyone doesn't want to tell you. because i'm not scared at all of you ! you're a fucking crybaby ! â
â but you're still here, you're still fucking here. because you know what ? i'm maybe a crybaby, but i'm a river worth wading. and this is why, you're standing in front of me with all this confidence. you wanted a broken man, you wanted someone to fix ? then come on baby, i'm here, i'm watching you, i'm listening, i'm literally at your feets, fix me ! fix the little boy you wanted, make him better. â
â rafeâŠâ
âno, i'm asking you now who do you think you are? do you think that because you have this attitude, it doesn't make you a little girl who needs her daddy? because damn, yes, you need him. but i fear daddy was the only one who didn't need you because guess what ? he left. and you make all the men leave around you ! but the difference between us is that you care. when i fucking dont care.â
â you're sick, a sick asshole. and don't touch me ! â you pushed him away, but he came back, his hand on your throat. â but you're the sick one who loves me, remember that ?â he answered.
â but do you think i still love you ? â you said with a smirk, taking pleasure to see his widen eyes. â i'm asking you right now, do you think i still love you, and if one day, someone will like you like i do ? it would be so hard for you to find happiness after me, i can promise you this. you will fight a lot. because ? can you see ? can you see i can breathe without you, i can live without you ? but you, can you do this ? yes, you can fight, you can scream and shout but what else ? â
â it doesn't hurt, y/n. it doesn't hurt. and you can't break me, as you can't fix me. â
â then why are you crying, big boy ? why are those tears for, if not for me ? â
â i built a home for you, i did everything for you. â
â and then what ? â
â don't make me regret it, y/n. don't make me regret the only good thing i've made well in my life, just don't make me regret...this. you don't understand. why did every house i'm in never felt like home ? â
â you destroy everything, rafe. but me too, i guess. the difference is that you have an excuse, a reason for being like that. your dad fucked up with you. and i hate him for that. if he had loved you correctly, you would have known and learned how to love people, how to be attached to them. but you don't know any of that, you don't know what it is to love, and to be loved. everything i do for you, you could call it love, even when i'm mean. but it's false, love is tender, it's beautiful. but you know, i think i'm sick because i also like the way you love me, this violence, this rage, this impulsiveness, it drives me crazy but it makes me alive. so, do you think you could do it again? â
â why you didn't leave, why you never leave ? â
â because it's our house. we're stuck in forever. this is our house in nebraska, our only heaven. now be a good boy and cry a little for me, i think i'm going away a little...â you said, taking him in your arms, your hand placed on his back, and your hand pressed to his cheek. âdonât worry, i cry a lot too. all the time, even when you make me happy. â you shushed him, bursted in tears in the hug.
you kissed him on the corner of his lips, your mouth meeting his tears, before he joined you in this kiss, you felt his sad and salty tongue against yours, his hands came squeeze your waist.
but now in the present, you were alone. the house still existed but it was just you.
you weren't sleeping anymore, because you kept hoping that he would come home, you were hoping that he would come home late at night.
but you were alone in a dirty and cold mattress. and you prayed for him hoping he was okay. the phone was broken but you were hoping to hear it ring, the door was open and you were waiting for a sign.
nothing was right, everything was wrong. you just wanted to say to rafe that he had you, that he had a house, and his home missed him, like nobody ever does in his life.
you didn't realize that you had been lying all this time, and that you were silently dying. but at least you died, only his.
#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron angst#obx angst#rafe cameron#outer banks#obx#rafe x reader#rafe cameron x you#obx content#rafe angst#ethel cain#a house in nebraska#ethel cain aesthetic#angst#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron oneshot#rafe cameron outer banks#southern goth aesthetic#toxic relationship#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron prompt#song inspired#x reader#oneshot#angst fic#angst fanfic#rafe cameron drabble
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Yantober Day 4
Homemade Meal [Yandere Girlfriend x Gn. Reader]
Using @ozzgin's prompt list!
yeah I'm like totally behind on yantober at this point, but I'm going to keep trying to write for it because I don't like the thought of quitting lmao. This one is kind of boring but I wanted to try something a bit different from what I usually do
Tipjar :)
TW! MDNI ! DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT! Abusive relationship, manipulation, isolation, toxic af relationship, yandere
You're girlfriend isn't really happy about the fact that you've got a job...
2.7k words
Recently, Dannica was obsessed with this domestic shit, and it was pissing you off big time.
âOne of us should stay home and look after the place.â
Oh please. Like either of you could afford to take care of two people. You worked a night shift at a convenience store, and your on and off again girlfriend did god knows what. She could be whoring herself out for all you knew. It didnât matter. You couldnât survive on your own, and she always managed to bring in just enough cash every couple of weeks to make sure neither of you starved.Â
âDisâ is bullshitâŠâ You grumbled out, an unlit cigarette pressed between your lips as you held a lighter in one hand and your phone in the other. It was blowing up like crazy, eating up your already precious break time.Â
Where are you?
Send me a photo.
Are you with someone?
Are you cheating on me?
Pick up
Now
Iâll seriously leave this time if you donât
I love you
âUgh, shut up,â You huffed as you put your phone on do not disturb and slid it into your pocket. Shielding the stick of tobacco with one hand, you lit up your menthol infused vice. Your bleak eyes stared out into the near empty parking lot, only occupied by your beater of a car, a raccoon digging through a nearby dumpster, a swarm of moths enveloping a street light like a halo, and yourself. Everything was bathed in an eerie, cold glow from the buzzing LED sign from the store. You inhaled before you let out a plume of smoke into the open air. You tilted your head back, letting it rest against the concrete wall.
Dannica had been getting worse recently.Â
It wasnât like you didnât know what you were getting into when you first started going out with her. She hit all the boxes of a crazy chick. Split dyed hair, tongue piercings, eyeliner so sharp it looked like it could kill a man. She had this look in her eye that had you drooling along like an obedient dog, pinning her to the wall and laughing at every other word she said.Â
âYou donât know what youâre getting into.â
She was right, but you were far too drunk at the time to realize that.
You sighed and rubbed your eyes as you stepped back into the store after grinding the last of the embers under your muddy, stained shoes. The bright, cold lights sucked up any last vestiges of your mind. Check the cameras, check the register, check the shelves⊠you had done everything that you needed to for the rest of your shift. Well, at least until the small amount of people would trickle in after all the local bars closed.Â
3am. You only had to wait until 3am before you could go home. You would normally be excited, but there was a familiar seed of dread that was blooming into a full blown nausea. You stared down at the old, faded clock, watching with a bleak stare as your free time dwindled.
You just didnât understand why she was so fixated on having someone be home at all times. Itâs not like your place was nice. All the furniture was shitty and second hand. If anything was stolen, it would be a pain in the ass to replace, but it wouldnât be impossible per se. You had no pets and no, god forbid, kids, so what was it? Why was she putting so much pressure on this whole thing. Plus, although she acted like she would be fine with either of you staying home, cooking, cleaning, and waiting eagerly for the other to return, you knew that the one person she wanted to have as little contact with the outside world wouldnât be herself.
You blinked as a paper was slid onto the counter in front of you. You blinked in surprise as you looked at the intimidating man standing before you, wearing a black face mask and a dark gray hoodie. The random tightness of the fabric as he moved suggested that he was probably fucking jacked underneath his baggy attire. You looked up at him with a slow blink. When had he come in? The bell to the front door hadnât even chimed.
âBring these home.â
âWhat?â
You jumped slightly as he spoke. You looked down at the paper. It was a list of ingredients all scrawled in Dannicaâs handwriting.
âBring those home with you when you close up for the night,â He repeated before lighting himself a cigarette. Your nose wrinkled. There were like 50,000 no smoking signs in here. âIf I were you, Iâd shutter down and head back right now. I mean, if you donât wanna lose all your privileges and all⊠Here,â He said and slid another item across the surface. This one was an envelope filled with a wad of cash. âShe doesnât want you paying.â
So you ended up sitting in front of your apartment complex, your carâs shitty engine still thrumming. There was a bag of the groceries she wanted in the passenger seat, and you gripped the plastic bag with a shaky sigh.Â
It was like you were in a trance like state. Turn off the car. Go up the steps. Put the key in the lock. Turn it.Â
The bag felt heavy in your hand, and the faded number painted on the door before you seemed like it was growing blurrier and blurrier by the second. You didnât want to open this door. You didnât want to go inside and face her and whatever this was. You hadnât even mustered up the will to turn your phone back on.Â
You could only imagine all the things she had sent you. Would she call you a slut again? Or threaten to destroy all your shit? Would she go through with it, like she had one time when you found your clothes all shredded?
Dannica hadnât done anything wrong today.
Yeah, your girlfriend had been a bit annoying, sure. That was putting it lightly, honestly, but she really hadnât fucked up crazily. Sheâd only⊠Sheâd only sent someone to your job⊠and threatened you with some vague punishment if you didnât come homeâŠ
That couldnât be good, and it certainly wasnât healthy. After all you put up with, she thinks she can push you around by sending some lackey or friend or whatever after you? Not to mention, it pissed you off to no end that she got someone else involved in all your toxic, messy shit. That was it. You couldnât go through with this when you were so aggravated. It would only make things worse. She made you worse.
You turned away to go back to your car, to figure out where you would go tonight, to really process the fact that you probably, most definitely, were done with all of this-
â[Name]? What are you doing out here? Come inside already.â
You listened. You didnât know why but you did. Dannica stood there with her hands on her hips and a slight frown on her pretty face. You just stared at her, unmoving for a couple of seconds, before she huffed and reached out to grab you by the wrist and pull you inside.
âAre you dumb or what, baby? Ugh, see this is why Iâm telling you that you should be the one to stay home⊠That place has got you all spacey and shit⊠not listening to meâŠ,â she grumbled and shut the door behind you with a resounding click. The apartment was dingy for the most part, but it had touches of where you tried to make it look and feel more cozy with some cheap fairy lights strung up haphazardly. It used to feel more vibrant and homey, but after every argument, youâd find that another trinket would be shattered, or another photo of a loved one would mysteriously disappear.Â
âDid you at least do what I asked you to?â
âHuh?â You finally snapped out of it and looked at her. She was all up in your space, caging you against the cheap, linoleum counter. Her manicured nails drummed on the surface, and she narrowed her eyes. You cleared your throat and shrugged.
âDunnoâ... you kinda lit me up there so I just turned off my phoneâŠâ You answered and brought the bag up to set it down and start putting away the fresh stuff. Dannicaâs expression brightened when she saw it, though, and you paused as a big, cheshire cat grin stretched across her lips.
âYou did listen!â She gushed and hugged you suddenly, and you had to stop yourself from flinching too much.
âOh.â You said, standing there a bit stupidly. Oh, indeed. It was like you didnât even want to really consider that she had sent someone, that she had gone that far. âYeah that⊠Danni, what the fuck was that?â
âWhat was what?â
âDonât play dumb. What was with that guy that showed up at my work? Who was he?â You asked and shook her shoulders just a bit to emphasize how seriously you were taking this. As much as Dannica hated the fact that you worked so late, in such a âdangerousâ area, and really the fact that you worked at all, she had never stepped over the line that you had firmly set once she started showing signs of her paranoia and clinginess.Â
Never, ever show up to your work unless it was something serious.
The only time she had even come close to doing so was when she followed you to and from work one day to make sure you werenât off cheating somewhere, so having her do this felt too much. You couldnât not bring it up. You couldnât not be angry.
âHmm? Him? Oh⊠heâs no one, really. Just a ⊠colleague,â She hummed as if she was bored, like you shouldnât even bother to ask in the first place. Her gaze sharpened all of a sudden, and you couldâve sworn you saw a thought be processed in her mind in real time. âUnless⊠unless you want to know more about him? Why? Is it because you think heâs cute or something? What did you two talk about, huh?âÂ
âWhat? No itâs not-! You know what? Iâm not even going to answer that. This is fucking stupidâŠâ You muttered despite how pissed her expression was. Her grip grew stronger, and you shrugged it off as you moved to start putting away the groceries.
âItâs not stupid. Iâm just trying to make sure weâre okay. Donât you want that?â
âI didnât realize me going to work meant we werenât doing well. You know usually itâd be a good thing if the other person in a relationship isnât a deadbeatâŠâ You snorted, and Dannica put her hand over yours to stop you from dumping the vegetables into the Crisper drawer. A frown was etched on her face, mirroring your own. She wordlessly pulled out a piece of paper and slapped it down in front of you. Your lips curled back in disbelief as she tapped it with a sharply filed nail.
âLookâŠâ She relented, or at least pretended to. âJust make this for me, kay? You can do that, right? I just want a good night, baby. No more fighting, no yelling. Canât we just have a good meal?â Her words were like honeyed poison. You didnât understand how someone could switch their tone so quickly. You turned your head away, just to escape from having to look at her, and actually read what she was trying to prompt towards you. It was a recipe for a meal. It wasnât anything complex, just roasted vegetables and pasta, and it fit what she had made you buy to a tee. You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose.
âBabeâŠâ You mumbled. Your anger was being stamped out with every breath you forced yourself to take. You just needed to calm down. She wouldnât stop bitching until you calmed down. âIâm tired-â
âYouâre not that tired,â She jutted in, and you huffed. She brought out some pots and pans. âJust start the oven and cook,â she gestured to the crockery with an impatient, patronizing wave. You bit your lip in frustration.
âI donât even want to eat right now. Itâs 4 am. I just wanna go to bed.â
âSo you donât want to spend time with me then?â She accused, and you found your hands instinctively reaching for the cutting board and knife.
âWhat? I didnât even say that.â
âBut you meant it.â
âNo? Danni, quit doing this shit. Just because you donât get your way doesnât mean I have to deal with you being all pissy. Look, Iâm fucking making it, okay?â Each other word was enunciated with a swift thunk of a vegetable being sliced. You just wanted her to stop talking, to leave you alone, but you felt Dannica press up to your back. You felt her pouty lips against your shifting shoulder blades, and suddenly your already tiny apartment became a thousand times more cramped. Your skin crawled, and you tried to ignore how trapped you felt.
âQuit your job,â She said, not asked.
You stayed silent, though your muscles tensed and your heart hammered in your chest like a motor revving up. Your entire body was ready to spring, ready to just leave. You didnât want to do this anymore, but it was like you couldnât do anything but move with a molasses-like pace, grabbing the right ingredients, filling the pot, turning on the oven. You gripped the handle of the knife tightly.
Her hands slinked down over your waist, settling on the bones of your hips and clinging as a second skin. Her breath was hot on your neck, and you felt her teeth nibbling gently. Her efforts soon grew larger, and you couldnât help but feel like she was just trying to get a reaction out of you, so she could have an excuse to smush you further down into whatever she wanted. Her bites became sharper. She was eating you alive.
âHey, baby, answer me,â she said again once you stood back from the stove. You were at the point in the recipe where nothing else could be done except to wait.
âI like working Danni,â you stressed, and you flinched when you heard how desperate you sounded.Â
âI know,â she cooed. You felt like you were crazy. Why did it sound like she was the reasonable one here? While you were what, a hysterical thing that she was so kindly taking care of?
âI know, but itâs not good for us. And I think Iâve been pretty patient and good about it so far, but Iâm not going to let you just ruin everything because you want a little extra money. I know you like being independent, but I can take care of you. You know that? You donât have to worry with me, baby,â she murmured. Dannica was calm, almost even elegant, while she was shutting down your life.
âBut you donât earn enough to support two people-â
âI do,â She insisted, and her arms looped around your waist and squeezed ever so slightly. You wheezed, and you felt her smiling. You just stared at the wall, hoping that if you blinked and turned around, magically she wouldnât be there anymore.Â
âI can, baby. You donât even know what Iâd do if you would just let me.â
The pit in your stomach grew despite the warm, inviting aroma that started to waft up from the oven, the little clock you hand winded up ticking away merrily. Her nails drummed over your clothing, teasing with the waistband of your pants. You jerked away, and she pressed her sharpened digits further in. You hissed out in pain, and she let out a disapproving hum.
âQuit your job, baby,â she repeated. This time, it felt like more of a placated threat. âOr else.â
By the time the timer finally chimed out, and the meal was ready to be plated, you knew that you had no more room to argue.
#my writing#yandere#yandere x reader#tw yandere#x reader#yandere x you#fanfic writing#yandere female#yandere woman#yandere girl#yandere girlfriend#yandere x darling#female manipulator#yantober#october prompts#day 4
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Conflict of Interest
Pairing | Plug!Choso x fem!reader
Words | schmedium
Summary | Choso never quite does his intended job when you meet. Special treatment is what they call it, not that heâd outright admit to it. One day, you request his services outside of your normal routine. And things get, well, complicated.
Tags | đ, hotboxing, car sex, dub con (both parties are under the influence), overstimulation, kinda dom! Choso, no protection, praise kink, no use of y/n, overstimulation, creampie
Notes | Iâve had this in my drafts for so fucking long that I was getting sick and tired of going back to it instead of just posting. Overthinking is an understatement. (Iâll probably end up editing it again later)
You called up Choso a week early, stressed out of your fucking mind. It seemed like any problem the universe could throw at you, it did. You watched with anxious fingers tapping against the steering wheel as his deep blue car rolled into the empty parking lot. An abandoned mall is easily the best place for your exchanges, you both liked it that way.
He had his hair down today, catching you off guard for a moment. Itâs not the first time heâs done it, but the stark contrast to his usual hairstyle was always surprising.
âMiss me?â, he asked with a smile as he closed the distance. You scoff and chuckle.
âI miss whatâs in your bag. Youâre not that special Kamo.â
âOh but I am. We both know it.â He didnât mention the break in routine, knowing it was probably something personal. You didnât share much with one another, choosing the âbasically strangersâ dynamic to be a smarter option. But that doesnât mean you didnât break the agreement every once in a while. Even as he stands before the hood of your Jeep Grand Cherokee, your eyes canât help but glance down at his playful smile when he talks or the movement of his fingers while he rolls. Your breath caught in your throat as he brought the paper to his lips, tongue flattening against its edge. Brown eyes glinted with mischief as they made contact with yours, a hum of satisfaction leaving his lips at catching you in the act. God if the earth could just open up and swallow me, thatâd be great.
âWanna smoke with me today?â You snapped out of your daze of distractions at the question, disbelief washing over your features.
âReally?â The large man shrugged, in a why not kind of way. How could you say no?
~~
Choso could taste the berry in your gloss as his lips wrapped around the blunt, inhaling the strain and feeling his chest grow warmer. It hadnât been long, but the windows of Chosoâs car had already begun to fog, despite the cracked windows.
Thatâs how you two spent the next hour, sharing two blunts and chatting together as your high began to wash over.
âFuck, thatâs strong.â
âIsnât it?,â you softly whisper, head lolling towards him.
The two of you talk about anything and everything, minds expanding to limits you hadnât even realized existed. Somehow the conversation drifted to the more personal aspects of your lives, such as your romantic lives.
âYouâve got a boyfriend?,â Choso whispered across the dash. You shook your head, waiting for his next question.
âGirlfriend?â
âIf I didnât know any better Kamo, Iâd think you wanna date me.â
âGod you fucking wish. Just curious.â Sometimes, you did wish. Not that he could ever know that.
âWhat about you, smartass. Dating anyone?â
âNah, donât have time for that.â
The car developed into a comfortable silence, neither of you feeling eagering to speak. It was like this with Choso, always has been. He understood the need for shutting up sometimes, no unnecessary pressure to converse.
âI think I need a haircut.â His random outburst prompted a barking laugh, caught off guard by the irrelevancy.
âIâm serious. Itâs getting too long.â You looked over at him,pouting. You liked his hair, in fact you loved it. When he hung his head, the layers encased his face like a halo. It was the perfect haircut, not that you could really say so. Any allusion to your thoughts could ruin everything. So you settle for something simple.
âI like your hair.â
âYeah?, he questions with a head tilt. You murmured a hum of agreement, leaning over the console to put a hand towards his face.
âI think your bangs could use a little trim though,â you remarked with a ruffle of his hair. You began to pull away a few seconds too late, eyes settling on his features and feeling yourself get too caught up. Chosoâs eyes caught yours, grabbing your wrist to keep you close.
âWilling to cut it for me?â His eyes flickered across your features, analyzing them with an intensity youâve never seen in him before. It was unnerving.
You nodded, swallowing a large gulp of nerves.
You sat outstretched over the console, not making any attempt to sit back properly on your side. He broke the silence before you could consider a regrettable choice, going on about munchies and making you laugh. That comment is what led to your current argument on the best type of cake as you unwrapped a cupcake in your hands.
âItâs very easily vanilla,â he argued, âitâs the most versatile option.â You scoff mid-bite.
âDidnât know you were so boring, Kamo.â He looked offended at your comment, putting a hand on his chest like it hurt.
âOh yeah? Whatâs your favorite then?â
âRed velvet. Hence why all of them are on my side of the tray.â
âYou think youâre so special, picking red velvet over all the other options,â he teased.
âI know Iâm special,â you mocked. Something shifted in the air when you said that, Choso growing quiet with no comeback prepared. The tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife.
âYou uhâŠyou got something,â he whispered distractedly while leaning in. His thumb wiped at the corner of your mouth, dark eyes staring into yours. You watched as time slowed, his thumb reaching up to his lips and sucking.
âFrosting.â The two of you just stared at one another, high out of your minds and scared to breathe. Instinctively, you glance at his blush lips, not even remotely afraid that he would notice. His tongue darted out between the folds, covering the surface in spit and you nearly moaned.
âFuck me,â you whispered to yourself, almost in pain.
He leans farther over the center console, putting a hand on your neck. Nothing was said as you stared into his eyes, bouncing back and forth between his irises as he wrestled with his thoughts. You leaned in , the gap between your lips just barely a sliver. You could kiss him easily, that much was obvious. But fear made you hesitate, breath fanning across his cheeks in anticipation of the next move.
âChoso,â you whispered in a barely audible tone.
âDon't talk,â he said before making the brave choice.
His lips capture yours, hesitant but curious. It takes a moment to find rhythm but soon youâre moaning softly into his mouth and gripping onto his arm for dear life. Choso was a good kisser, the soft muscle of his tongue bullying its way past your lips as he explored your mouth. He broke the kiss, staring at you with need. His lips were glossy with spit, pupils massive with lust.
âBack seat. Now.â You didnât need to be told twice.
You watched as he impatiently pushed the seats forward, as far as the mechanism would allow.. He climbed into the backseat, a boyish smile adorning his features that youâve adored from your first meeting.
âChoso, need you.â
He manhandles your body, grabbing your thighs to guide you into his lap.
Choso pushed your hips down on his crotch, your clit grinding against his rough zipper with earnestness. His plush lips peppered kisses down your neck and collarbone, smiling into your skin at the thought of seeing all this tomorrow. The two of you had crossed the line of friendship and he was quite intent on never going back now heâs gotten a taste. You whimpered, as though on the verge of tears, desperate for relief from the throbbing of your cunt.
âOh, thatâs cute.â
âShut up. Not funny,â you retorted.
âWhatever you say sweetheart.â He thrust upwards, the outline of his erection rubbing so perfectly against your clit. A pathetically desperate whimper slips out, and he chuckles.
âI know baby, I know.â Choso continues to mark you, his featherlight touch on your skin sending tingles up your spine.
~~~
Had he not pushed his seat back, your ass would be pressing uncomfortably into the leather right now. Chosoâs hands engulfed your hips, guiding you on his cock with every thrust. Your skin buzzed with the effects of indica, hot with desire as he fucked your brains out.
âShit, Cho. So fuckinânghâgood.â You whined into his neck, trying to muffle your sounds.
A chuckle reverberated through his body, dark with knowing.
âDonât hide those pretty moans from me, baby. Wanna hear you.â
You leaned back, coming face to face with Choso. He was so pretty like this, a light sheen of sweat making his bangs stick to his skin in a pleasured bliss. Your pussy squeezed around his shaft, making him whine with need.
âFuck thatâs good,â he cried. Watching you bounce was like nothing heâd ever had the pleasure of seeing.
Just then, an idea formed in his mind. Choso angled his hips more upward, hitting your g-spot and pulling a pleasured sob from your lips. He watched with satisfaction as your eyes crossed for a moment, going dumb before his eyes. The glossed out look said everything, too lost in the pleasure to be remotely coherent.
âFeel good, pretty girl?â You could barely whimper out an affirmation, feeling your impending orgasm. You mewled incoherently, a jumble of curses and praise. With a shaking hand, you rubbed your clit as your stomach began to tighten in need for release.
âRight there baby. Fuck donât stop donât stop.â
Choso pushed off his own orgasm, wanting to watch you make a mess on his dick first. He grinned, taking in your fucked out state with great pleasure. The little you had shared with each other revealed that your sexual experience with men had been rather disappointing. Your last ex had no clue how to please you, too concerned with his own orgasm to ever worry about yours. He was selfish in that way, as well as many others.
He grabbed your hair, pulling you down in a sloppy kiss. If it wasnât for how well he fucked, this kiss alone was enough to make your head spin. Your body felt miles away, the combination of the thc and the best fuck of your life making your skin tingle.
Your limbs began to tense, signals of how close you were. Your vision was blurry, teeth searing into your bottom lip with focus.
Choso felt your walls grow tighter, filling his chest with pride. He maintained his pace, pushing harder with each thrust. Your nails dug deep into the hard skin of his shoulders, imprinting moon-shaped marks.
âClose arenât you?â
âSo fucking close babyâ. You stumbled over your response, struggling to say every syllable.
With a few more thrusts, your toes curled as you came. The squelching sounds in the car increased tenfold, a sound Choso was eager to revel in. He fucked you through your orgasm, thrusting getting sloppier by the second. His balls tightened, body buzzing as he fucked his cum into you. Before you could say anything, he didnât stop. His mouth formed into an O, tip extremely sensitive.
âI think I can get one more out of you.â
A statement that felt more like a demand.
You began to shake your head, feeling the creeping discomfort of overstimulation begin to course through your shaking body.
He whispered sweet praises as you squirmed. Your body wasnât sure of whether to lean into his touch or pull away, confused but pulsing with need. Your cunt choked his shaft, tense as you pushed through the masochistic pain. But soon enough that pain turned into pleasure, attempting to meet his thrusts to chase your orgasm.
He grinned with knowing, cheeky like a cat who got the cream.
âShut up,â you uttered between gasps. He winked, satisfied with his clear victory. Even during the most intimate moments, he couldnât help but be his usual annoying self
âGonna cum Cho.â You whispered into his neck.
âFuck. Can feel it. Doing so well for me, baby.â
His praise made you squeeze harder around him. Now that heâs had a taste, heâs unsure of how heâll be able to let you go. Every touch, every look, every smile led up to this moment.
Every muscle in your body tenses as you cum, ears ringing as Choso praises you. His thumb rubs your clit in firm circles, the pleasure making your walls spasm around his sensitive cock.
âThatâs it baby, doing so fucking good.â Choso slurred his words, head sensitive as he continued to fuck you through your orgasm. The base of his spine tingled, pushing him back towards the edge again. He blabbered incoherently as you came down, mumbling about how good your pussy is.
His hips stilled as he shot white ropes into you, filling your cunt with his warm seed. Your tired quick breaths as you gasped for air quickly faded into light laughter as you watched each other come down. Choso smiled lazily, dazed and completely out of it. With a delicate hand, he pushed some of your hair out of your face before pulling you in for another kiss. This one was much softer, gentle and unrushed. Romantic even.
âWe just made things really complicated, didnât we?,â you question against his lips. He didnât answer really, murmuring in disagreement as he deepened the kiss.
âChoso! Iâm seriousâ.
âSo am I.â
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iâm trying to think of more art ideas i swear
(this drawing was partly inspired by @/c4tspl4sh)
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We were staying in Paris
Shawn Mendes x female reader
Warning â ïž: mostly fluff, maybe grammar error and maybe some punctuation errors
Word count:~500
A/N: The story idea and concept are classic and predictable; your girl just couldnât help but write something inspired by this picture. Also, itâs three weeks late; better late than never? And this is my first story in 2024? đ P.S. Should I write a longer and maybe some more steamy story with this picture? đ€Ș
ââ//
In the heart of Paris, in a hotel room with a balcony overlooking the city that served as the backdrop for a love story as it was unfolding in the early hours of dawn. You lay nestled in the warmth of the bed beside your boyfriend as your fingers intertwined with his. As the first tendrils of sunlight filtered through the curtains, Shawn stirred awake, his eyes blinking open to the soft glow of morning.Â
He savoured the moment's stillness a little while before gently extricating himself from the embrace, slipping out of bed, and heading to the bathroom. The cool floor beneath his bare feet offers a refreshing contrast to the warmth of the bed. He was going to return to bed, but instead, he made his way to the balcony, drawn by the promise of a tranquil morning amidst the bustling city below.
As he leaned against the railing, taking in the breathtaking view before him, he couldn't help but marvel at the beauty of the Parisian skyline bathed in the soft hues of dawn. The Eiffel Tower stood tall and majestic in the distance, a precious sight. Lost in thought, he reached for a cigarette, the flame casting a flickering glow on his face as he took a contemplative drag.
Unbeknownst to him, you had stirred awake in his absence, your gaze lingering on the spot where he had once laid.
There you were, quietly making your way to the balcony, and you found him lost in reverie with the smoke curling around him like a halo in the morning light. With a soft throat clearing, you announced your presence, a playful glint dancing in your eyes.
"Good morning, stranger," You greeted, voice laced with amusement as you wrapped your arms around him from behind.
A little startled, he turned to find you standing before him, a radiant smile lighting up her features as he leaned in for a kiss.
"Good morning, ma chĂrie," He greeted back before discarding his cigarette and nestling closer. It didnât take long for his eyes to linger around you, and eventually falling upon the shirt you were wearing, a mischievous twinkle lighting up his gaze, âI believe thatâs my shirt.âÂ
"Oh yeah, I hope you don't mind," You began, fingers tracing the fabric of the shirt, "I may have borrowed this from you,â You continued slyly as your lips curled into a grin as he took in the sight of you wearing his shirt, the fabric draping over your frame in a way that seemed almost too perfect.
"Shirt stealer," he remarked, his voice tinged with sincerity as he reached out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear.
Moments later, as the sun continued its ascent, casting a golden glow over the city, you both remained on the balcony, lost in each other's embrace and the beauty of the Parisian sunrise.Â
"By the way, I'm never returning this shirt,â You added, breaking the silence with a mischievous grin.Â
In response, Shawn just chuckled, his eyes sparkling with affection, âThank you for letting me know," he replied, pulling you closer than before, âBut It looks better on you anyway."
ââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Thank you for reading guys... feel free to like, reblog, follow my account, leave a comment and my chat is always open for random chats or requests... appreciate every single one of you... â€ïž
Taglist (open) : @monikamendes @holland-styles @bvttercupbby @lonelyreputation @badreputationlove @shawn-is-my-giant-jellybean @benito-mi-vida @swiftmendeshoran @yournameoneverypage @shawn-is-bruh @mendesbhraanth @perfectlywrongformendes @imaginashawnn @smendes-forever @nervousmendes @whenyoureadyholland @shawn-youth @myboyshawn @camilalewiss @camilalewisss @theregoesmyherojd @nanijaac1 @shawnieeboyy @silverswallow @inlovewithmendes-blog @mendeslola-blog @mendesx123 @23kofmendes @jellyloml @chipofmendes @poohofmendes @wutheringmendes @shawnmendesbuddy @chocochipcookie305 @shiningshawns
Story Code:05042409
#shawn peter raul mendes#shawn mendes fandom#shawn mendes fanfic#shawn mendes fic#shawn mendes blurb#shawn mendes fluff#shawn mendes x reader#shawn mendes imagine#shawn mendes story#shawn mendes smut#shawn mendes x female reader#shawn mendes x y/n#shawn mendes x you
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Trailer park Steve AU part 52
part 1 | part 51 | ao3
cw: period-typical homophobia, canon-typical violence, blood
"I'm just saying!" Eddie laughs as he swings himself around the slender base of a young tree, cigarette dangling from his lips. "I could absolutely rock the blue eyeshadow look the main chick was wearing."
Steve doesn't disagree. They're in a dark alcove on the side of the movie theater, Eddie's hair all lit up from behind, a frizzy halo of pinks and blues from the neon radiating off the front of the building, and he looks fucking gorgeous, and he smells like menthol and strawberry shake, and he's been tapping Steve's wrist so much tonight that he might as well be drumming up a new song just for them.
"Can't argue with that," Steve murmurs as he steps up onto the concrete planter. Gets up in Eddie's space; borrows his cigarette, his words floating out on a thin wisp of smoke. "You look beautiful."
"Beautiful," Eddie mimics, tasting the word, looking unbelievably pleased with the flavor that he finds. His eyes go hooded, and there's a sly tilt to his mouth as his tongue slips out to tease the edge. "You tryin' to start somethin', Harrington?"
Steve's answering hum rumbles deep in his chest. His cock aches in his jeans. God, he wants him; wants to back him up a good ten feet until his body scrapes the bricks. Wants to rough him up a little, like Eddie did to him the first time they kissed â make his breath hitch and his skin buzz and his back arch under his touch.
"Oh, you are," Eddie purrs. He takes the cigarette back, their fingers brushing on the exchange, and they're standing so close now, nothing but this skinny tree between them, just a twig of a thing, really, the toes of their shoes touching on either side of the base.
Steve looks down at the snowy soil. Taps Eddie's wrist. Desperately. Frantically. Take me home right now, so help meâ
A low whoop echoes off the pavement.
A predatory jeer, and Steve looks up to see three men approaching â three boys, about their age, and drunk, by the looks of it. He grits his teeth.
Their ringleader looks like a caricature; classic bad boy who thinks too highly of himself, some cheap knock-off mash up of Billy Hargrove and Rob Lowe. Steve eyes the shaggy mullet, the dangly earring skimming the lapel of his black jacket, the silver flask and the stupid swagger, and his blood runs hot. Thrums with the promise of a fight.
âWell shit, boys,â the guy grins to his sidekicks, taking a long swig and wiping his mouth. Gleeful malice in green eyes. Little asshole gets close enough for Steve to make out the color; gets right up in Steveâs face and sneers, âLooks like we got ourselves a couple of queers to smear.â
Really? Steve thinks. Weâre doing playground games right now? He folds his arms over his chest, flattens his voice; disinterested. âDo you have somewhere else to be?â
Eddie smokes his cigarette, and the smoke curls around them in short, unsteady puffs.
The guy snarls, âDo you?â
Beside him, his friendâs hands ball up in fists. A vicious voice in Steveâs head whispers: plant your fucking feet.
âNah,â Steve answers. He takes a step in front of Eddie; widens his stance, digs his heels into the mulch. Slight crouch; deep breath. âThink Iâm right where I need to be.â
âFuckinâ freak,â the guy spits at the ground. He sways and pivots just a little, like maybe heâs about to slither back off to wherever he came from. Or maybe heâs about to throw his full weight into a swing.
Eddieâs breath whistles. His nose still healing from the break. âSeriously, man,â he tries as he drops the cigarette, crushing the butt under his boot. His voice is thin; hands up; donât shoot. âJust- just fuck off, alright? We donât want anyââ
The first punch is slow. Sloppy. Steve sees it coming and dips low to dodge, and the jab cracks against the tree, spraying ice and splintered bark, the sound sharp in his good ear. Itâs a plate over his head; itâs Billy cackling while the world dims, and Steve sees fucking red. Tastes metal and acid and rot, and all his ghosts are with him; all of Eddieâs, too. Hargrove, and Andy, and Jason fucking Carver; all the faceless specters of whoever pummeled him that night at the bar, whoever dared to lay a finger on him when Steve wasnât there to be a shield.
But heâs here now, and his answering punch lands hard â sickening crunch as his uppercut connects with the kidâs ribs, knocks the wind out of him. The guy grunts and doubles over, but he gets in a good swing on the way down.
Steve tastes blood at the edge of his lip.
Someone grabs him by the collar.
One of the guyâs friends, freezing fingers pawing at his shoulder, at his throat, and he pulls back hard until his shirt rips at the neckline and frees him from the hold. Ducks again to dodge a blow, swivels and pops discount Rob Lowe right under the chin.
The kidâs teeth clack together as he bites his own tongue. Steve watches his head fly back like itâs about to fall off â like a ragdoll, like a bobblehead, like itâs happening in slow motion. He collapses on the sidewalk and cracks his head against the bricks, and he's down, he's out, but thereâs two more still coming, one in front and one on Steve's right, and that one looks tall and broad enough to do some real damage.
Steve squares his shoulders; braces himself for another concussion, because this isâ fuck, is the guy on the ground bleeding?
This is bad.
This is really bad.
And then he hears it.
A familiar thwick, a metallic slice through the sudden stillness in the air as Eddie pulls his knife out of his boot and flicks it open.
"Back the fuck off!" he growls; lunges forward with the blade and stabs at empty air, the metal gleaming like an oath. His expression is wild, sweat on his lip and at his temples, bangs sticking to his brow.
Steve spits blood onto the concrete.
Everyone backs the fuck off.
â
"Holy shit," Eddie pants as they haul ass out of the lot. Fingers trembling on the steering wheel, knee jiggling so badly it jangles all his pins and chains. His whole body is shaking. The radio is off.
In the rearview, Steve gets a glimpse of their attackers dragging their limp friend by the armpits through a snowy flowerbed. He thinks he sees a streak of blood.
âDid you know them?â he asks, his eyes glued to the reflection.
Eddie rolls the next three stop signs.
âNo,â he finally says. Swallows hard in the simmering quiet. âThey were just some guys.â
â
part 53
tag list in separate reblogs under '#trailer park steve au taglist' if you'd like to filter that content. if you want to be added please comment and let me know (must be over 21; please either verify in the comment or have your age visible on your blog)
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FAULKNER: (Under his breath, weakly and numbly) How many stayed behind?
[ID: Art of Faulkner and Rane from the Silt Verses standing in a cloud of smoke. Faulkner's blue halo and crab claw necklace break up the bright orange tones. He stares blankly into the distance while a shadowy Rane tugs at his shoulder, shouting at him to run. End ID.]
#the silt verses#brother faulkner#sibling rane#my art#if this looks suspiciously like a dune cover donât um. donât worry about it#season 1 finale faulkner sitting there counting every life he could be responsible for ending weâre really in it nowâŠ
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All This And Heaven Too
Demon!Sylus x gn!Angel!Reader
Based on this post
Title from "All This And Heaven Too" by Florence and the Machine
This fic possessed me and would not let me go until I wrote it tonight (which is bad cuz I'm sick). Very very very vague spoilers for the end of Sylus's story
Also I'm not religious and I do not smoke but the vibes, y'all, I simply had to (I looked up a wikihow for smoking)
Warnings: heavy angst, angels + demons au, major character death, unhappy ending, hurt no comfort, blood, injury, crying, kissing, drugs + smoking, underage smoking, pet names, religious imagery + symbolism, swearing
Word Count: 2,557
Main Masterlist
Love and Deepspace Masterlist
AO3
Tag List Form
You sigh as you feel the oh so familiar sensation of a cigarette being shoved into your haloâs golden glow. Thereâs an inhale behind you, and the sensation is gone. Sure enough, when you turn around, the demon stands proudly, taking a long drag from his cigarette.
âThanks, angel,â the demon, Sylus, purrs. The smoke blows into your face and you fan it away with your hand. He chuckles. âYou havenât changed one bit.â
âWell, itâs only been 3 centuries. How much was I supposed to change in that time?â
He studies you lazily, tilting his head and taking another drag. He settles down on a low stone wall, worn on the edges and covered in old paint. âNot interested in small talk today, angel?â
You cross your arms defensively over your chest. Itâs been a long time since heâs seen you this on-edge around him. âI donât know how you can think about anything else.â You look at the people passing by.
Teens in helmets and knee pads rolling past on boards or skates, others with no protective gear at all trying to pull off complicated flips and tricks. A couple sat under a curved wall, passing a blunt back and forth. Sylus had teased you relentlessly the first time he came across you in a place like this. Watching all these young souls take up vices so early in their lives, put their bodies on the line and break bones for a bit of fun. You didnât notice the drugs and alcohol as much nowadays. You just saw the smiles.
âAll of this will be gone in just a few days⊠Doesnât thatâŠâ You glance at him. âDoesnât that upset you?â
A kid walks up to Sylus, gesturing with his messily rolled up joint for a light. Sylus presses the end of his cigarette to the end without a word. The revolting stench of marijuana filled the air as the kid walked away. âWhy should it?â
You glare at him and he chuckles.
âOh, Iâm sorry. What I meant to say was, âHeavens above, itâs a terrible tragedy! The horror of it all!ââ
âI could smite you right now. One less demon for Hellâs army would be no loss to us.â
âBut it would be to you.â He sighs, scanning the skatepark. A melancholy settles in his expression. âI suppose I will miss it. Humans know the best ways to have a good time.â
You hum. âI did always enjoy their weddings.â
âI was thinking something along the lines of lust, greed, and pride.â
âI know.â
You glance at the spot beside him. He holds the cigarette in the corner of his mouth as he takes off his leather jacket and lays it across the stone. You perch primly on it with a nod of thanks. He takes the cigarette from his mouth and holds it out to you. You stare at it with a grimace.
âThis could be your last chance to try it,â he cajoles. âI promise you wonât get sent to Hell for a little thing like this.â
You glance at his face. Piercing red eyes stare at you, but you know he wouldnât lie to you about something like this. Not anymore, anyway.
You begin to reach for it but he pulls it just out of your reach. He holds the butt end to your lips, but you look at him with that sweet little look of innocence, utterly helpless.
âShall I demonstrate first?â He puts it between his lips, the corners curled up into a devilish grin. The ashes on the end trail a little further down the paper as he inhales the tobacco smoke. He takes it out of his mouth, pauses for a second, and blows it out, away from your face this time. He holds it back to your lips. âDonât do too much. I want this to be a good experience for you.â
âYour temptations are hardly enticing,â you scold, but thereâs no venom behind it. You carefully put your lips around the filter, where his were just seconds ago, and suck in. You canât help watching his face as you do, searching for instructions through his expressions. He nods just slightly and you pull away, holding it in for a moment like he did, and exhaling.
He brings it back to his lips. âWell?â
You scowl as you try to get the taste out of your mouth. âHow do you like that?â
âOh, angel. People donât like the taste - not really, anyway. Itâs the chemicals that trick you into thinking you need it, pulling you to it over and over again.â He leans in. His eyes gleam. âAddiction.â
âHmph. Should I try to find something pure for you to try now?â
He shakes his head. âI already know what the holy experience is like. Iâm just fine not going back to it for a second.â
A drugged-up teenager with no protective gear goes down the old wooden half-pipe. Itâs been in disrepair for years. The local governments donât care at all about trying to keep anything here in good upkeep; they havenât for decades. His wheel catches on a broken board and sends him flying. His body scrapes against splinters and bent nails, tearing at his clothing and flesh. To add insult to injury, his skateboard goes up the other side and comes right down on his head. You can tell even from a distance that heâs broken something. He lays there for a while, groaning.
Sylus isnât surprised when an ambulance arrives a couple minutes later, despite nobody having called for their services.
âDo you know where youâll be stationed?â you ask. You try to seem cool-headed about the thought of going into war, but thereâs a waver in your voice that he catches as easily as recognizing a lie.
âLinkon City. On the frontlines.â He passes the nearly-gone cigarette back over when he sees your hands fidget restlessly with the hem of his jacket. âWhat about you?â
You take it from him with inexperienced fingers, but you donât cough this time either as you take a slightly deeper draw from it. He could almost say heâs proud, if he ignored the omen of a smoking angel.
âThe same for me.â
He takes the spent cigarette from you and puts it out against a spray painted yellow smile. âSo Iâll see you there, then.â
You watch the ambulance pull away with the kid on a stretcher in the back.
Sylus stands up. Itâs only when he gestures to his jacket that you follow, stepping away so he can retrieve it and put it on. Itâs a hot summer day, but even dressed in all black and leather, he says itâs too cold. If Hell wins⊠you wonder if youâll understand what he means, then.
âIf we fight each other-â
âWhy do you sound so upset about it, angel?â
You take a deep breath. Your golden eyes, blessed by the light of God, stare at him with a deep seriousness. âIf we fight each other, we canât hold back. You know that, right?â
He nods slowly. âI know.â
âI⊠I wonât hold back.â
He nods.
âNot even for you.â
He nods again. âI know, angel.â
You nod, settling that promise into your brain. Your frown hasnât faltered at all.
âFor what itâs worthâŠâ Red eyes look at you with no waver in confidence, but that melancholy hasnât faded yet. âOf all the angels I could have had the displeasure of knowing, Iâm glad it was you.â
-
The city was a husk of its former self. Where once people walked to and fro, going to work or the movies or the arcade, demons and angels fought in a holy war. It was chaos at every turn. Armies donned in white and black, fighting tooth and nail to win.
You had your orders. They were easy to follow: kill any demon in sight. You prayed for God to end this war before it could begin. You prayed for the final days leading up to it for this to never come to pass. You prayed until someone ripped your hands apart and shoved a sword into them.
If your body functioned like a normal humanâs, you would have been panting, gasping for air as you stole through a wrecked lobby and into a courtyard, surrounded on all sides by tall buildings. Your body would have ached from exhaustion, and you think a normal human would have fallen unconscious by now.
Your body does not function that way.
Your breaths are even as you turn in a slow circle, watching for any intruders. The fight rages on mere feet away, but in here you can almost forget.
A tree stands proudly in the center. Its branches overhand a small, tiered garden. Flowers decorate the wooden boxes, spilling out over the sides from care and dedication. You gently lift one of the hanging blossoms and bend down to smell it.
Something sharp touches your neck.
Youâre frozen in place. Caught off guard, staring at the flower, memorizing it so that when the killing blow comes, it is the last thing you see. The last meaningful reminder of the humansâ blessed existence.
âHello, angel.â
You turn your head so sharply you almost cut yourself on his blade. Relief and dread swell in you all at once, a miasma of discontent. Sylus grins at you as relaxed as ever and lowers the black sword to his side.
A hollow breeze swishes his hair across his forehead. The longer strands catch in his eye, but he doesnât brush them away. The horns on his head are sharper, crueller than usual; as dark as the deepest pit of Hell.
The golden glow of your halo highlights the planes of his face.
âDonât hold back, remember?â he says. âDonât lose that conviction on me now.â
Your hand shakes as you tighten your grip on your sword. You raise it in front of you. The sharpened point raised to the heavens, a symbol of your devotion. You swallow. âI wonât.â
He mirrors your position, the end of his sword aimed for the hells below. His hands are steady. He nods. That damned grin widens on his face. It doesnât reach his eyes. âI know, angel.â
Sylus attacks first. He has to. Youâre paralyzed, unable to make the first offensive move. You defend instead, blocking and parrying his every move. The tree stands watch. A silent aegis to your battle.
He cuts your right cheek, and you jump away to collect yourself. The pain feels too real. How is this the natural end of the world? How can your God sit idly by and witness you crossing blades with the one creature across the Heavens, Hells and Earth whom you called friend? What merciful God would want this?
Blood drips slowly down your jaw from the small wound. Sylus paces around you like a wolf hunting wounded prey. You know he will destroy you.
You take a breath and raise your sword again. Your hand does not shake.
You strike first, reigniting the fight he lit.
Itâs grueling. Neither of you dares to give in now. Hesitating would be to die. And not only did neither of you want to die, neither of you wanted to kill the other. Itâs a battle built to be a stalemate. A war never meant to be won.
At least, you wish it was.
Both hands grab the hilt of your sword, holding it steady. Sylus grabs the blade.
He chuckles. Itâs weak. Strained. His eyes match the blood pouring from his chest as he looks up at you. He falls to his knees. You follow.
âWell done, angel.â He wheezes, eyes squeezed shut in pain as he hunches over your blade. The sides dig into his hand, slicing his palm and fingers. âYou⊠You won.â
All at once, the reality of the situation hits you.
âNoâŠâ You support your sword with one hand as you scramble on your knees to be closer. You grab his shoulder, sitting him up so you can see where youâve impaled him. You let go of the sword to rest both hands on his chest on either side of the wound. âNo, no, no, no, donât- You canât-â
Golden light shines in your hands, but black and red tendrils block your healing. You try harder, until the light blinds you, but the demonic powers within him refuse to relent. Sylus watches you with soft eyes and a grin.
âAngel,â he mumbles. You grunt in frustration as you press harder against the wound. His hand slides off the blade and covers yours. Youâre panting from exertion as you finally meet his eyes. âI think⊠I think I wanna try somethinâ holy now⊠You got anything in mind?â
The glow fades. The darkness fades. You cradle the back of his head with a blood-soaked hand. It stains his hair. Your other hand grips his like a lifeline, squeezing blood from the cuts there. He doesnât stop you.
âSomething holy?â You search his face, wracking your brain for any ideas. âOkay⊠Okay, I can do that.â
You begin stroking his hair tenderly, scratching at his scalp, scraping sweat, blood and oil under your nails. He sighs, head resting heavily into your care. His eyes are half closed. He forces them to stay open.
You scoot yourself closer, until your knees are touching his. You lift his head up and bring your lips to his forehead. This close, you listen to every breath he takes. Every rasp and groan he exhales. You pull away reluctantly, ducking your head down so your forehead rests over your lingering kiss.
âHowâs-â You clear your throat after your voice cracks. âHowâs that?â
âIsnât kissing⊠a sinâŠ?â
You shake your head. âNo, no, itâs not.â
He hums quietly. âYou ever⊠kiss anyone⊠angel?â
You laugh despite yourself and shake your head again. âNo, I havenât.â
âShall I⊠demonstrateâŠ?â
âIâd like that.â
He abandons his sword on the ground beside him. It clatters against the carefully laid brick of the courtyard. His hand is agonizingly slow to find your cheek. His palm is cold. His thumb strokes the cut he gave you.
âCâmere⊠angel.â
You follow his weak guidance as he tilts your chin, pulling your lips to his. His lips barely move. You press against them a little harder.
His hand slips from your cheek, knuckles scraping over the bricks and jostling his sword. You pull away.
His eyes are hollow. Red irises staring into nothingness.
âSylusâŠ?â His head lolls in your hand when you try to adjust. âSylus, please-â Your eyes fill with water. âPlease, itâs not funny. I donât need your tricks right now. Please-â
You let go of his wounded hand to hold his face with both hands. Blood from your touch stains his cheeks. Hot tears slip down your cheeks.
âPlease, I- I canât do this without you⊠I donât want to do this without youâŠâ
He doesnât respond.
You press your forehead to his again, leaning over his body as gravity stakes its claim on him. Your tears land on his face, falling down his cheekbones and jaw as if he was the one crying, not you.
âPlease⊠PleaseâŠâ You kiss his cold lips. âPleaseâŠâ
Nobody hears your prayers.
---
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