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rwt-mystic-corner · 2 years ago

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Hello! I saw your post from March talking about a talk you were going to give in August on pop culture paganism. I just learned the term and am super-excited to learn more! How did the talk go? What did you discover/discuss?

Oh, yeah! So, the talk was an hour-long panel for an online convention in August, and basically I defined some terms, gave some common or well-known examples, and went over the survey results. I discussed pop culture witchcraft, pop culture paganism, and some secular practices inspired by pop culture that still have a meaningful impact on people, even if it's not spiritual.

I'd say the talk went very well! There's a recording on YouTube, but I'd rather discuss it in private before handing out the link because it looks at it through a lens that's rather personal to me, and it's unfortunately a controversial topic in recent years, and I don't want this blog to become a bed for discourse.

Here are some excerpts from the script! I won't post the full script for the same reasons, but here's a link to the survey results:

As for me: I'm an eclectic witch that has always sort of practiced pop culture magic and paganism without really knowing there was a word for it.

…

But you don't have to be spiritual to incorporate pop culture into your life! Have you ever heard a line in a movie about human nature or self-identifying that just resonated with you so much, you absorbed it into your understanding of our world, as it is here and now? Pop culture has the potential to touch all of our lives in this way.

Now, I'm going to be honest, that secular sort of impact is too general to cover entirely. I could give ten separate hour-long panels on fandom and how it impacts peoples' lives and builds connection and community, and still barely scratch the surface. The bulk of this panel will cover the more spiritual or magical things.

…

This panel isn't a discussion of what I personally believe. Though I could probably make that very interesting, I think it's even more interesting to look at it from a wider lens and talk about the plethora of ways I've seen people interacting with this identity and those practices.

Got survey results from 95 that we'll also be taking a look at! A lot of the fun brainstorming stuff is wrapped up in there, because my survey covered a lot of ground and people covered a lot of ideas in the freeform responses!

So what exactly are "Pop Culture Practices"? I chose the word "practices" because it's intentionally vague. A "practice" is something you do, sometimes once in your life and sometimes every day for years, and over time it's something that changes, evolves, gets better, gets more meaningful, or just gets consistent.

It's a relatively new thing in the public consciousness, gaining traction especially in the past 10 years.

The "pop culture" part of it comes from the phrase "popular culture", and it used to mean something everybody was vaguely aware of, but as languages do, it changed and evolved. What's popular changed, what's in the culture changed, even over just the past couple decades. Recently, it kind of came to mean modern fiction. (The exact definition will be discussed later, because it was a question on the survey!)

Nowadays, pop culture practice means taking inspiration from pop culture sources, which can include TV shows, movies, comic books, podcasts, tabletop RPGs, just anything available for public consumption. Pop culture generally refers to the more well-known media, but (spirituality, etc.) aren't bound by how many people know about it, so you might take elements from anything as massive as DC Comics or something as obscure as your favorite indie webcomic, and everything in-between.

Some forms of pop culture practices you might have heard of:

The Jedi Church, a group of people who practice a religion based on the beliefs of the Jedi in the Star Wars franchise. Jediism has been recently acknowledged as an official religion in the New Zealand census. This one's been in public knowledge since 2001.

There's also reality shifting, a trend on TikTok where people sort of insert themselves into a pop culture universe.

Using merchandise from a pop culture source into a spellworking, or a line from pop culture in a spell. (Not gonna lie, I have absolutely used Azarath Metrion Zinthos as a mantra while meditating, and it's nice.)

…

So now that we've got a general idea of it, let's get specific! The two most common forms of pop culture practices are Pop Culture Paganism and Pop Culture Witchcraft. Both of these are umbrella terms that encompass a wide range of experiences. There's a HUGE variety of ways to practice with a side of pop culture; it's different for everyone.

There's not really any one set Right or Wrong way to do it, because it's not a specific denomination or belief system. Pop culture practitioners are usually pretty unique in their path. As a group and general term, it's entirely unstructured, though an individual might have their own kind of structure from either the source material or their own personal beliefs.

Pop culture paganism uses the term "paganism" very loosely, if anything I think it's usually more like a polytheistic gnosticism than a pagan framework, but it's the most agreed-upon term for a spiritual belief, or a worldview, or a worship, that involves pop culture beings in some way. Deities, myths, worldviews, philosophies, creation myths, etc. Usually it's used to mean the worship of pop-culture-specific deities, but it can also be something like house spirits, having spirit guides that are creatures from a pop culture world, or a mythology that one believes in.

Pop culture witchcraft is a little more on the nose, it describes using elements of pop culture in magic, spellworking, divination, energy work, astral projection, or other crafts with a magical bend. There's a broad spectrum of how the elements are used. It can be everything from general symbolism, like using a specific mineral to embody traits of a Steven Universe character of the same mineral's name, to taking a ritual for a specific outcome in canon and directly copying it in your life here on Earth to get that same result. It can mean using spells, rituals, festivals, invocations, chants, or tools in any way associated with you doing magic that ties it to a canon source.

Though these two often overlap, one is NOT necessary for the other! Just like with any magic, you can have religiously-charged OR secular spells, and you can have beliefs in gods WITHOUT necessarily practicing magic about it. Sure, you can have them intertwined in your own practice and nobody will stop you! But one is not necessarily a prerequisite for the other.

And then there's the utterly secular side of things. Secular practices are things people do without it being influenced by religion, or without having a religious reason to do it. Here are some examples: using a quote from pop culture as a chant for luck, decorating your space with merchandise, or holding superstitions that don't have a religious basis. It can mean pondering (or even believing) a source's philosophy, celebrating holidays seen in a book, collecting things for [identity] euphoria, practicing rituals or habits from your canon, the list can go on and on. The ways that somebody celebrates a piece of pop culture that really resonates with them, or just delights them, are as varied as the people who make up a fandom.

So now that we know what we're talking about, I thought I would illustrate some aspects of this stuff by briefly touching on some of my personal experiences:

I've been meditating since I was 12, as both a coping mechanism and a spiritual practice, and that's how a lot of this started for me. I stumbled on it entirely by accident, I'm not even sure if the term "pop culture paganism" existed 17 years ago, but Raven appeared to me in meditations, we talked and she became a sort of spirit guide for me. Through her I always felt connected to the Azarathean spirituality, but it didn't get genuinely spiritual for me until I got into the habit of using her high priestess's name in place of "God", kind of as a fandom reference and kind of because people at my mother's church didn't like me saying "oh my god", and then one day I said "Oh Azar" and AZAR ACTUALLY ANSWERED! I've been following her ever since.

…

But anyways, not everyone who practices these things has such personal ties to such specific, independent entities. My experience is far from the only way to do things, but after all this had happened and I was on the witchy side of Tumblr and discovered the term "pop culture magic", everything sort of fell into place and I found out I wasn't the only one living life on the magical and spiritual side of fandom!

Everyone here knows how great it feels to be validated and find out you're not alone in your wildest experiences, I'm sure? It was amazing.

Survey results:

So now I'm going to get into the survey. It was held via Google Forms from February 2022 through just this month when I started analyzing the data. I advertised this survey as best I knew how. I'm gonna be honest, my circle is fairly small, but I reached out to those I knew who had bigger followings in witchcraft communities, as well as through various Discords, chatrooms, and posting a link on my Tumblr for magical stuff and getting the word out that way.

All told, there were 95 responses. The survey was specifically geared towards those who currently practice, or have in the past practiced, some kind of pop-culture inspired path.

I separated it into three sections: About You, About Your Practices, and About Your Beliefs.

To make sharing these results as comfortable as I could, I gave survey takers the option to have me leave their specific answers out of the panel, and asked those who were comfortable with me sharing their answers if they were okay being mentioned by name, but almost half of them requested to stay anonymous!

So first and foremost, I asked respondents to define pop culture practices as they understand it. Most of the answers specified either magical workings or spiritual or religious beliefs, interestingly most answers specified one or the other, but there were a few outliers:

Poppy defined it as: "Any spiritual - in the loosest sense of that word - practice that incorporates any element from pop culture, be that spirits and deities or", and I really like this specification, "lessons and metaphors".

Another respondent mentioned the application and implementation of beliefs related to pop culture. There were also specific mentions of methodology, symbolism, and concepts.

This one was unique: "The intertwining of one’s practice with the energy currents and aspects of pop culture, up to working with those universes and their magic."

And of course this one was true: "I think it looks different for everyone because there are a myriad of ways to worship."

Another had a fun way of looking at it: "Taking the idea of fiction informing our reality quite literally, haha."

A few responses specify RECENT media. There was excellent differentiation in this response: "Any practice that includes what is considered the "popular culture," as opposed to what might be considered "classical culture.""

And also in this one: Either viewing traditional deities as modern characters or viewing them as spirits or deities of their own.

Next I asked: What do you consider a pop culture practice?

This one was a "check all that apply" question.

The most common thread, with 88 responses comprising almost 93% of respondents:

believing in the existence of deities and mythological figures from pop culture.

With 87 responses, about 92% said: using symbolism from a pop culture source.

82 responses for: incorporating ideas into your worldview

80, about 84%: following a religion from a pop cultures source

I also had a fill-on "Other" option. There was a trend on that where people specifically mentioned:

spirits or deities from pop culture sources

Some of the unique write-ins were:

soulbonding (For those unfamiliar, that's normally considered a voluntary connection one establishes to a character or being, typically of a very deep and spiritual nature.)

It's something that's "open" to everyone

"Any form of reblog to cast spells" for the Tumblr crowd

Making characters that aren't deities in their source into deities in your practice.

Working with spirits that aren't considered traditional to work with

"using pop culture interpretations of existing practices"

incorporating recipes. Not sure if that meant spell steps or actual cooking, but I might have to try this in the literal food definition!

I then asked if they're open about their pop culture practices or not. The vast majority said "only in certain situations" at 74% of respondents, with the rest pretty evenly split between Yes and No at just 12.6% and 13.7%, respectively.

Then I asked, Why or why not?

Unfortunately, there was a very common theme of judgement and mockery from others. As someone pointed out, "Safety is very important."

Multiple people aren't open because it simply doesn't come up in conversation.

Someone else said "Not everyone needs to know," which is a super valid point.

But there were good reasons for people to be open about it, too. This person's reason was: "Because I want others to know it’s ok to work with pop culture witchcraft and paganism as well and not feel ostracized when they can’t connect to “traditional” deities."

This person brought up an interesting nuance regarding others' judgement: "Since I only sometimes use elements and symbolism from pop culture in my practice, it's not something that others tend to criticize or judge (in contrast with people who … follow a religion from a pop culture source)."

Storm made the point that "I'm not hurting anyone and maybe I can help lay a precedence for others to come who would like to look into incorporating it into their own practices."

This person's commentary is probably pretty relatable for us: "Depends on whether or not I feel supported by the particular community space I'm in."

In a similar vein of thought, someone said: "But it's a case by case basis thing - having to feel out where it might give me grief for no reason other than people being mean and refusing to think too long about stuff outside their own bubble. "

This one made a very good point: "I don't feel like it would do me or anyone else any good to argue about the validity of my practice with random strangers."

And this person made a very good point: "I see pop culture as budding beliefs. There is a start for everything so I think that pop culture beliefs have that structure for more. "

The next question was, What do you think your practice has in common with others?

About half answered with the simple, overarching fact that it's drawn from pop culture.

I liked the insight in this answer: "In regards to other practices overall, I’d say the visualization of another entity that I can speak to and receive feedback from is very common across many practices of modern, ancient, and fictional origin."

Cipher was uncertain, but as a fan…her answer really resonated with me: "I suppose our commonality is that we find deeper meaning from fictional sources, and that can in turn give us our own power. "

another write-in said: "spiritual belief in a power that lends me mental/spiritual strength and hope"

Quite a few answers, maybe 10-20%, were from folks that stated they weren't in touch with others or communities that practice pop culture things, so they just didn't know.

On the subject of PC vs. non-Pop Culture, Jay's response is really beautiful: "I have a relationship with some non pcp entities … and other than their specific customs, I go about it the same. The source of the practices is the only real difference, and it's the same with varied this-world based practices, after all! A kemetic will practice different than a norse practitioner in places, but when it comes down to it, it's still the same KIND of experience.

"…I share universe origins and some basics of each practice with other people, specifically. But more broadly, same thing as for option one. We all light up when our spells work, we have warmth in our hearts when we interact with our spirits, etc. Things will vary depending on what works for everyone and source world, but I feel it connects us at least like this."

Lupin's response was relatable: "A lot of searching and finding what works for us." That's true for most of us, yeah.

This one mentioned something I hadn't even considered: "Probably a lot of people are also approaching it from a chaos magic perspective." Now I'm not a chaote myself, but I know enough about chaos magic theory to see where they connect, because a lot of chaos magic throws off tradition and embraces individuality.

And then someone else said, "We're all worshiping/practicing in ways that are not the "norm." As in, all pagans/witches/etc are resisting dominant religions/culture by practicing." And then there was this answer: + "I think a lot of us are very good at thinking outside the box"

So then I asked them if there was anything about their practice that's unique to you?

Several people listed the specific piece of pop culture they draw from, or the obscurity of that which they draw from in general.

Lots of people contemplated the specific way they incorporate their practices, like their specific rituals or deities they worship.

A couple mentioned writing their own prayers and rituals, which of course WOULD be completely unique to them.

There were also a couple who stated that they follow a non-pop-culture structured religion while also practicing pop culture and pointing out how rare that is, which seems to be true in my experience too, it IS rather rare.

A couple comments made the point as that saying goes, "there's nothing new under the sun" with MelaninHuntress saying it's "the next stage of folk magic", which I think is a parallel worth exploring, but my education in folk magic is too incomplete for me to be the one to do it.

Regent said: "the format of my practice is DEFINITELY altered by the fictional universe or character in person I’m drawing from on a case by case basis. I have literally composed prayers in fictional languages for my gods and such."

Then I asked, How did you discover pop culture practices? This was a Select All That Apply.

The most common selection out of the options I provided, with 76 of 95 responses, was Online communities.

Two-thirds with 67 out of 95 selected self-discovery. Me too, folks!

A little over half said it was inspired by practices in the media itself.

A couple said it was people they know that introduced them.

I completely relate to the person who started doing it as a tongue-in-cheek thing until they found out that people actually do that, because I used to say "Great Azar" as a joke before she actually answered and it turned into a genuine prayer.

How long have you been practicing?

More than a third were in the 1-3 year range, a quarter responded it's been 4-6 years, less than 1 year was only 17%, and about the final 20% of people were in the range of 7 years or more.

How frequently do you practice with pop culture?

I provided options for daily, weekly, monthly, once a year or less, and an option for "it varies".

Just under half said it varies! That makes sense, considering most of us are either building our own belief systems or working with systems that have fairly limited lore, so we don't have a strict religious schedule to keep. Not to mention the demands modern living tends to make on peoples' time and energy.

The next most common response had about 20% saying "daily.".

The last quarter was a range of answers including once a year or less, a few times a year, monthly, and weekly. Only 6 respondents of the 95 said they practice once a year or less.

What determines how often?

This one was a free response, and the most common thread in at least 90% of responses was that it depends on the circumstances in one's life, like spoon count or free time or when they felt called to engage. Shout out to my fellow spoonies, I feel you and you'll receive no judgement from me.

About a third said it's determined by what times one feels inspiration!

My dear friend Link said, "It depends on how often I think of them, none of my deities demand active worship, they seem content with what I do currently." I thought that was refreshing to see.

A handful pointed out something I hadn't considered in that there's a difference between having something affect your daily life based on your beliefs, versus when you're actively praying, casting a spell, or otherwise engaging with that aspect of your life specifically. That's a very fair point.

This response exemplified that trend very nicely: "There are passive parts of my practice that remain constant - a shrine I keep, jewelry and charms I keep on me, trying to live the values of my source media, etc. Other parts of my practice like divination and magical workings are much more infrequent. The struggle to prioritise those parts of my practice amongst all the other priorities in my life is real. "

What sources of pop culture do you draw from? This was a "Select all that apply" type of question with an optional write-in they could add.

Video games took an early lead the first week of the survey, then tied with TV shows and books further into March.

That trend stayed pretty stable. This week, the data had nearly 2/3 at 65% selecting video games Books very close behind at 60% TV shows at almost 55%

3 different write-ins cited tabletop RPGs like DnD 2 separate write-ins said webseries

I asked, Do you consider obscure media to be "pop culture"?

"No" was an option, I promise, but nobody selected it! Nearly 2/3 said "Yes", and of the remaining third of the answers, "Depends on how obscure" was twice as common as "sometimes".

Is your practice associated with an otherkin identity?

Nearly half at 42% said No, a third said yes, 16% were in the middle of the road and said "somewhat", and the rest selected the option for "Unsure".

Is your practice associated with a fictive?

This is less common in the surveyed crowd than otherkinnity, because 54% said "No", though the second most common response was "Not sure" at nearly 16%, and just over 13% said "Somewhat" and only 17% said "Yes".

To what extent does it impact your life?

The options were given in degrees ranging from "it doesn't impact my life in any way" to "it's a major part of my identity". We got a pretty even split across all 5 options. About a third said "it makes a fair impact", about a fourth said "only in a minor way", a fifth said "it's a major part of my identity", 15% said "the impact is extensive", and less than 10% said it didn't impact their life in any way.

I said, as an optional write-in: Please feel free to list any and all specific pop culture sources you draw from!

There were:

At least four mentions of the Elder Scrolls videogame series.

Three mentions of His Dark Materials series.

Two mentions of Star Trek and Homestuck each. (Also repeats of: Zelda series, My Little Pony, Magnus Archives, Steven Universe (represent!), Pokemon, TTRPGs, Lord of the Rings trilogy, various anime, and Harry Potter)

More unique ones include:

Music

Creepypastas (which actually had two separate answers, but that was one I'd never seen mentioned before!)

I asked, Are your practices secular, religious, spiritual, and/or philosophical? Select all that apply.

Just about 75% said "spiritual", half selected "religious", and both Secular and Philosophical were selected by about 40%.

"None of the above" was an option, but none of the respondents selected it.

Do you practice magic?

2/3 said yes, 25% said somewhat, and only 8% said no.

How?

Lots of answers mentioned using merchandise cards used as divination tools!

There were lots of people incorporating specific elements into their own customized spells rather than following a rigid ritual.

Astrid specified sometimes she "just straight up casts the exact same spell that she saw".

There were two or three mentions of energy work.

One person said "I try to take practices from mainstream paganism (e.g., candle magic, sigil design/ spellwork, meditation) and choose/modify them to suit the deity I'm trying to reach."

The next question asked, Do you hold any religious or spiritual beliefs inspired by, based on, or incorporating pop culture deities, worldview, morality, myths, or other religious/spiritual elements?

A solid 60% said "yes", less than 8% said "no", and the remaining third was "somewhat".

Explain more, if you'd like.

Pretty strong presence of multiverse theory impacting this one.

I got two mentions of the system in Neil Gaiman's novel American Gods, which is actually supremely fitting for a discussion of pop culture paganism. (For those unfamiliar, some of the novel's worldbuilding is how deities get their power from belief, and that's often a staple in peoples' theory of how deities in a book or tv show on this world can become powerful deities that can be worshipped and prayed to for communion and desired results in one's life.)

So there were also some very thought-provoking responses:

From Swan: "I believe that the divide between "real" and "not real" is a sacred mystery that should be contemplated and explored. Simultaneously being Not Real and thus a safe outlet for a human person's feelings, and Real Enough to worship and get a response from, is mysterious, holy, and possible in my eyes. "

Orla said, "I believe pop culture texts are real in the same way that all other texts are real, which is to say existing on the border between the poetic and the literal. So I don't really think that religious/spiritual elements can exist inherently outside of the bounded existence of a text, but that all texts necessarily have pathways into them by simple nature of being texts, and that we can render these paths bi/multi-directional through skillful work, perhaps even to a point where the border between the text and the not-text begins to appear permeable."

Animism is also mentioned here and on a couple other responses as well.

What elements of pop culture do you use in your practice? This was another one where they could select multiple checkboxes.

In first place: "Deities" was marked in nearly 3/4 of responses.

About two-thirds selected "Beliefs and worldview", and almost two-thirds selected characters.

Just over half selected "philosophies and thought exercises", which surprised me because I didn't know other people even paid attention to the philosophies in fiction.

Just less than half selected "theme music", which was also a surprise and quite a delight!

I was personally quite surprised at how many used specific quotes, that one got selected in over 50% of responses!

The least common response was tulpas at 8.4% followed by servitors at 9.5%.

After that I had an open-ended question where I asked for any other elements I might have missed, and here they could type as much as they like.

Poppy gave some examples with, "Tangibly real elements that, as far as we know, don't exist in our world (in my case, Dust from His Dark Materials, but other examples could include The Secret Fire from Hellboy, Z-Space from Animorphs, Tsaheylu from Avatar, and so on)"

Others brought up:

Creatures / mythical creatures

fictional language and alphabet

Fanfiction and incorporating others' headcanons, and as both a fanfiction reader and a fanfic writer, I like the collaborative spirit in that one.

Have you ever used merchandise? This one was a simple yes or no.

Again, I wasn't expecting the outcome of this, but more than half said yes! 58.9% HAVE used merch!

What did you use, and did it help you accomplish your goals?

This one was optional. VAST majority used it to connect to beings from their chosen pop culture source, especially deities.

Quite a few use it on altars and as iconography, with the biggest trend specifically being figures.

There were several jewelry mentions, such as:

enchanting pins as protective wards

two specific mentions of pins of The Eye from The Magnus Archives and I don't know enough about TMA to know what that means, but it was SO HIGHLY specific that now I'm curious.

Someone used a Kesha candle and I think that's fantastic!

There was a second part of the question too, "Did it help you accomplish your goals", and everyone who answered said it did!

Do you celebrate any dates or holidays from pop culture, such as seasonal festivals, dates something was released, or a character's birthday? The options were yes, no, and "only sometimes".

I got a pretty even split between "Yes" and "No", 38.9% said "Yes", 35.8% said "No", and 25.3% said "Only sometimes".

I asked what events they celebrated and if it was sentimental, sacred, or just for fun?

I was delighted to find I'm not the only one who celebrates things where the exact date isn't listed, but both me and Oscar use the day the media aired on TV. Same hat, my friend.

Probably half to two-thirds said it's just for fun! We're out here living our best PCP lives, I love it.

Birthdays were mentioned at least 20 times.

Also quite a few mentions of release dates. Canonical holidays was less common than I expected, with about 25% of the responses citing celebrations from the source. Interestingly, three of those responses specifically mentioned the Summoning Days from the Elder Scrolls games.

Have you tried reality shifting?

This was a basic yes/no, I made it optional but all except one person responded anyways! Three-fourths, almost on the dot, said no with only 25.5% saying yes.

Tell me about it:

I was totally indulging my own curiosity with this question and left it fully open-ended.

Apparently there's a lot of overlap with astral travel and lucid dreaming.

I'm not entirely sure which way it's supposed to go, but there's a very strong divide among respondents. A lot of people compared it to astral projection, and a lot of people said it's very different.

This response kind of indicates to me that there's no one overarching "correct" way to do it though, because Gabby shared that they "found that most information on TikTok wasn't reliable, so I did my research on other sources instead. I also learned that you can come with your own method for shifting and that you don't have to use a method at all!"

So here's the section where I asked ABOUT YOUR BELIEFS

How do you believe pop culture's effect on your life works? Select all that apply.

The most common response was "It works differently for different people", with 85.3% of people checking that one!

The second least common option I provided still got almost half the responses, "The world in the media exists elsewhere and you tap into it", with just over 40% selecting that one.

The very least common answer, with only 4 of 95 respondents checking it, was "I don't believe it impacts my life."

The last question on the survey asked for respondents to share any further thoughts or theories, and this was an optional long-form answer.

mention of being the character and pcp being a way to "reconnect" with that lifetime

six mentions of parallel universes/dimensions playing into it

Multiple answers discussing pop culture entities as concepts that come into being or are given power through your belief in them.

Lujane (loo-Jane) said "its a way to take out the seriousness of traditional practices and instead do something more personal (because fandoms are personal) and that is more flexible and creative."

Lex called it "a very useful exercise in exploring the roots of spirituality…it's a pure form of belief: we see a character, and we love them so much that we are compelled to turn that love into actions, into ritual and offering, with no expectations for ourselves. It's all about love, in the end."

Someone said, "Who is to say that that's not real? Just because it's not some ancient practice doesn't mean it doesn't work or have any real substance."

And I thought this would be a fitting note to finish on, one of our respondents brought up some books they draw from: The “How Pop Culture Magic Works” series by Taylor Ellwood and also the “Pop Culture Magic Grimoires” also by Taylor Ellwood and other various authors for basic ideas and frameworks.

#pop culture practices

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phoenixtakaramono · 4 years ago

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So I'm here to say that I really love your Bingyuan fic! The research you do for it and share with us is just amazing! I also have a q regarding LBG. From SV we know that he felt admiration for his Shizun so do you think that if SJ wasn't cruel to him LBG's admiration would've grown into love and attraction like it did in LBH's case for SY? Which then also raises a question: would LBH/LBG fall in love with any Shizun who was kind to him? Or was he just drawn to SJ's type of personality. WDYT?

Hi there, Anon! I’m glad you’re liking the Untold Tale! Thanks for reading! I think it lowkey helps when the story I’m writing (in general) is from a culture I’m familiar with and that I know some of its language nuances (just general Mainland dialect; I’m unfamiliar with Shanghainese, the Beijing dialect, etc etc). So fortunately for me, as someone who is Chinese but was born in the Western side of the world speaking Mandarin to family and friends, emulating the Chinese aesthetic and atmosphere in TUT comes a little bit easier to me than someone who did not grow up with this culture. I bet if I had been raised in China, I would be able to write something even more multilayered and deep but, alas, the youthful rebellious me of the past hadn’t taken my pinyin and Chinese character writing lessons seriously so I can only communicate verbally and understand audibly 😫. It’s very special for us writers in fandoms to be able to write a story of a culture that we actually know and can identify with. But high key it’s been immensely fun injecting some references of things I’ve come to notice from watching period C-dramas and the C-novels I’ve read, and I’ve come to learn interesting things about Chinese history and mythology even I didn’t know! So the story really writes itself.

Shen Jiu (OG!Shen Qingqiu)

To answer your question 🤔, to be honest this is why the SVSSS fandom is great—because there’s so many interpretations of the original source material. That’s why we have our headcanons and fanfictions to explore these many different possibilities. So for me personally, I can see it happening both ways: *1) LBG does develop a crush/falls in love with SJ, or 2) no matter how SJ treats him LBG regards him respectfully or coldly. I think Possibility 1 is more likely, since SY transmigrated into SQQ and we saw what happened with “Bunhe.”

Now, mind, for Possibility 1 to be more likely to happen, the SJ in PIDW will have to undergo a massive personality change/ a change of heart/ develop a good conscience and will need to clean up his image aka clear up the massive misunderstandings from PIDW canon (like him being mistaken as a pervert for Ning Yingying, visiting whorehouses, killing LQG, etc). It’ll be difficult though considering who Airplane has changed SJ into for his stallion harem novel (reading through SVSSS, my impression of PIDW besides it being the harem stallion novel is that it sounds similar to a “dog blood plot,” where audiences tune in to see how the villains are brought to justice). I literally have a line from TUT in a future chapter where SY says this about SJ since I will resurrect SJ and bring him into the story for closure:

People like Shen Qingqiu naturally had a set of deeply-rooted values. If one wanted to change them, it’d be easier to just have them reincarnate. (—TUT, ch???)

At his core, he’s a flawed man (which makes sense with the underlying cycle of abuse theory, considering his upbringing and backstory). He’s jealous and petty and prickly. His image is that of a proud and cold immortal. In Chinese terms, he’s the type of character archtype who I can see being àojiāo (definitely not canon characterization; this is just a stray thought that amuses me) in a romantic relationship.

LBH will have to recognize that^, or be in a position where he finds SJ’s caustic side endearing instead. He will also have to be extremely patient with him (although, since the joke in SVSSS is that LBH is an incurable M, it shouldn’t be that hard).

A fun thing about OG!SQQ is that he’s the cannon fodder scumbag villain of PIDW. He’s the reason LBG blackened from a white lotus. And, as you know, villains aka antagonists aka bad boys resonate strongly with people for a reason. That’s why we see a lot of Enemies to Lovers tropes, etc. It squicks me to use this phrase but “the allure of dating a ‘bad boy’ is strong.” SJ is that type of bad boy we could identify as a “fixer-upper project” (ugh, that phrase)—even with the red flags and warning signs—especially for those said to have a troubled past with rejecting neglectful parental figures/ family members/ friends and have have not outgrown their wish to convert that sort of person into a loving, accepting person. When we want something we can’t or shouldn’t have, our desire for it grows exponentially. In fanfiction this is a concept writers and readers can explore safely in a world of the imaginary.

From a Meta Perspective

Although, if we look at it meta-ly, the cold and proud and/or knowledgeable Shizun (teacher/ master) character who comes to know love and “is redeemed” by whomever is the love interest (typically a cute and quirky girl who may or may not have started off as naive to the innerworkings of the Cultivation World and therefore needs an established and mature mentor to guide them) is a very well-known archetype for a reason in Chinese fan culture.

Seeing a terrible person change their ways and try to become a better person because of the influence of the one they love is also a popular depiction for a reason.

It’s almost like gap moe. The crueler and aloof one starts out as (arrogance is a staple), the more impactful the shift is when we see such characters soften their edges.

The draw of the sacred master/disciple relationship is that it’s taboo, so I think it’s fair to say that such a relationship in fiction is a popular trope precisely because of this aspect. From a writer’s perspective, the main appeal is to show that there is someone out there who can cause this respectful figure to lose control (undergo emotional change) and go to great lengths to protect his/her precious person. That precious person also has to fall into the “not like other girls” trope (so they can show the ML a different world he would not have seen the beauty of before). On the other side, we look forward to the point of the story where the love interest has their “Oh” moment and realizes their admiration has somehow shifted into love and attraction over the course of events.

Other Romantic Possibilities

It’s very likely. I personally like the fanon headcanon where anyone with Heavenly Demon blood running through their veins feels a compulsion to “obsessively fixate on one person” (TLJ —> SXY, LBH —> SQQ). Personally I don’t recall if this was canon or fanon, but someone had written something about LBH imprinting on one person in his lifetime on the account of his demon nature. And I like that theory (I think it’s likely more fanon than anything but it’s an intriguing idea full of possibilities!).

For him to fixate romantically on one person, I personally don’t think the prerequisite is just by being kind to LBH (but it probably adds to the person’s appeal). There’s probably other factors that go into this to capture the male protagonist’s eye, such as him finding someone attractive (or passes his own personal standards) and/or having good chemistry with that person. So I could see him being into other Shizuns and whomever else. Personally I also think there is appeal in the unobtainable. It’s one thing to have someone’s affection (see LBG and his harem of 600 wives who definitely aren’t shy about giving him affection), but it’s another to know you’ve earned the affections of someone you really like and respect (especially if it’s someone thought to be unobtainable).

As long as the writer can provide a plausible justification for me to suspend disbelief and they set up events to justify it, I can swallow just about any ship possibility. It doesn’t necessarily have to be SJ’s type of personality. (For example, I read a very good fanfiction before where the writer paired Luo Binghe with Ming Fan. Ming Fan, people!!! And they actually pulled it off! What a madlad! Mind, it’s Shen Yuan who had transmigrated into MF in that premise, but the writer set up events that showed how these two characters came to bond and develop a deep friendship which inevitably had LBH developing a crush on his shixiong. I use this as an example because this is the type of unexpected (crack)ship, but because the writer did their work trying to make it seem plausible, we can only admire their hard work and effort at pulling it off.)

As the saying goes, there are plenty of fishes in the sea! As the protagonist, LBH/LBG can have many OTP possibilities with just about anyone as long as the writer can make it plausible. It’s all about the character development and the story/ central themes they wish to tell with the ship!

(Note, these really aren’t hot takes, lol. I’m just having fun answering to this casually from the perspective of a writer. Thank you for your Ask, anon!)

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renegadewangs · 3 years ago

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Van Zieks - the Examination, part 12

Warnings: SPOILERS for The Great Ace Attorney: Chronicles. Additional warning for racist sentiments uttered by fictional characters (and screencaps to show these sentiments).

Disclaimer: (see Part 1 for the more detailed disclaimer.) - These posts are not meant to be taken as fact. Everything I’m outlining stems from my own views and experiences. If you believe that I’ve missed or misinterpreted something, please let me know so I can edit the post accordingly. -The purpose of these posts is an analysis, nothing more. Please do not come into these posts expecting me to either defend Barok van Zieks from haters, nor expecting me to encourage the hatred. - I’m using the Western release of The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles for these posts, but may refer to the original Japanese dialogue of Dai Gyakuten Saiban if needed to compare what’s said. This also means I’m using the localized names and localized romanization of the names to stay consistent. -It doesn’t matter one bit to me whether you like Barok van Zieks or dislike him. However, I will ask that everyone who comments refrains from attacking real, actual people.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

Let's bring this thing home! It's time for the conclusion of the essay series!

Conclusion With a stupidly long essay series behind us, it's time to look at what we've learned! Let's go back to Part 1 and review what we needed from Van Zieks's character development for a fully rounded redemption arc, shall we?

1) Present an antagonistic (possibly immoral) force who personifies Ryunosuke’s biggest personal obstacle/weakness, in this case racial prejudice. 2) Humanizing traits begin to show. OPTIONAL: A backstory to justify any immorality he has. 3) Over time, Barok has his realization and sees the error of his ways. 4) Barok atones for his immorality, not simply through apology but by taking decisive steps. 5) The cast around him acknowledges his efforts and forgives him.

And looking at the main game (plus additional dialogue), we have...

1) Antagonistic force:

Etc. etc. I have many of these. We can all agree that as an antagonistic force, he does his job quite well. CEO of Racism and White Privilege in the flesh. It works, since we as the audience get very frustrated and want to see him defeated.

2) Humanization:

Giving him an old friend to be a defendant was a brilliant move, really. Albert's reflection on the friendship and the person Van Zieks used to be really helped flesh him out and make him appear more like a human being with, y'know, emotions and weaknesses. The little snippets of dialogue in his office really help too. Presenting evidence can also lead to fun tidbits. All in all, considering how gruff and distant Van Zieks is, they really did their very best to humanize him. The writers were given very little to work with but they exploited every opportunity to come their way.

OPTIONAL backstory:

Again, I don't think we needed a tragic backstory to have a well-rounded, redeemable character. Still, it ties in very expertly to the game's plot and the motivations of quite a few other characters. The story of Klint van Zieks and his death isn't necessarily Barok van Zieks's backstory, it's the center of an intricate web which also holds Kazuma, Stronghart, Gregson, Jigoku, (S)Holmes, Mikotoba, Sithe, Drebber- I could go on. A LOT. So because of how very integrated it is into the main narrative's recurring themes and characters, I'll give it props for being relevant and well thought out. The bigger question is: Does it justify his immorality? Not entirely. I think the game could have gotten more out of this if they'd involved the other two exchange students in this tale just a bit more. They could have given more attention to how Jigoku's aggressive behavior in the trial impacted Van Zieks, and explained whether he might've suspected Mikotoba of sabotaging (S)Holmes's investigation. If the narrative had done that, all three Japanese people to come to London would have been ‘the bad guy’ in Van Zieks's eyes and it would have given more credence to his racial generalization. They could have also given more attention to how the people around him reacted to Genshin being the Professor, because I'm sure Stronghart and Gregson stoked the fire in terms of xenophobia. As it stands, there isn't really enough there to justify hatred of an entire race as opposed to just one person.

3) Realization/Redemption

We see him already start to realize the error of his ways around the end of 1-5, which is technically only about halfway into the full narrative. Unfortunately, thanks to 2-2 being played afterwards (but chronologically set before 1-5), any progress made in 1-5 can become invalidated in the player's eyes. Growth works best when it's done linear. Don't get me wrong, flashbacking to earlier times when a character is still more morally tainted can work well, but it needs to be executed properly. Barok's behavior in 2-2 is downright insulting towards the audience itself and therefore, it causes emotional friction when relaying the narrative endgoal of redemption. It also makes it extra jarring when we hit 2-3, and suddenly Van Zieks is meant to be relying on the protagonist's desire to expose the truth. How on earth can we as the audience trust that Van Zieks believes in Ryu's abilities when we just came fresh out of a case where this man actively sabotages Ryu's efforts?

Still, the line of redemption continues from 2-3 into 2-4 well enough. He admits that he was wrong- that his hatred was illogical and that he needs to change. This is the very definition of redemption. I need to stress once more this is not to be confused with atonement, which comes next.

4) Atonement

Here it is. It's not enough to simply acknowledge mistakes; one needs to work hard to fix them. Since Van Zieks is the defendant for two whole episodes, equaling roughly 20% of the full narrative and 67% of the time following his first true realization (chronologically), there isn't much that he can actively do to atone. Because remember, not only do these actions need to fit the situation he's currently in, they need to fit his personality. These two limitations ensure the atonement mostly takes the form of dialogue. Of apologies.

One might want to point out that he never apologizes specifically for his racism, but there's a reason for that. If you pay close attention, you'll notice that there isn't a single character who ever uses a word like “racism”, “xenophobia” or even “racial prejudice” in this game. It's for the same reason you'll never see an Ace Attorney character utter words like “alcoholism”, “drug abuse” or “depression”. These things may be implied very strongly, to the point where you'll know for certain a character is suffering from it, but it's never given these exact labels. It has to do with the tone of the game. In Great Ace Attorney's dialogue, Barok van Zieks is only ever described as holding “a deep hatred for Japanese”, which is then the only thing he could apologize for. And he does, so long as you aren't looking for a literal phrasing of “I apologize for my deep hatred of your people”.

Regardless, he can't take more active, decisive action until he's freed from prison and two scenes with Van Zieks later, the game has ended. He still manages to take two actions, though! The first is to publicize the truth of the Professor, taking the blame of the mass murders off Genshin's shoulders (and losing his own privilege in the process). The second is to take Kazuma under his wing as his disciple. I'm not certain there's anything else the narrative could have had him do. What is decisively missing, however, is the following:

5) Acknowledgment

The above aren't good examples of cast acknowledgment that Van Zieks is taking part in a redemption arc, rather, they're the best I could find. Characters are acknowledging that he's changing- that he's being kinder to them and they can get along with him now, but they're not acknowledging that he caused hurt in the first place. This, in my opinion, is the Great Ace Attorney's biggest narrative flaw. I've talked before about how Ryu's reaction to Van Zieks's racism is 'indirect communication', a typically Japanese manner of dealing with negativity. I've also talked about how Ryu is not in a position to speak up, as he's a literal minority who is there to represent his country in an official capacity and can’t afford to make enemies. However, characters like Susato and Kazuma are far more outspoken in their opinions, as is Soseki. The only one who ever calls Van Zieks out on his racism is the British judge, and even that is done very meekly. When an old crusty white guy is the one who condemns white privilege in a cast full of minorities, you've got a problem. The Japanese cast's refusal to acknowledge that Van Zieks's words were harmful is like Team Avatar telling Zuko that sure, he can join since he's a good guy now, but never once acknowledging that he burned down villages or betrayed everyone's trust in Ba Sing Se. There's something very vital missing, see? If indeed the cast had called Van Zieks out more actively on his harmful ways and how necessary it was for him to change, he in turn could have taken more atonement steps in response.

So, for the conclusion: Does Barok van Zieks tick all the necessary boxes for a complete redemption arc? Yes. In a very technical sense, all the requirements are there. But does that mean it's a successful arc? Not necessarily. The game has a few slip-ups, a few things not executed as well as they could have been. For that reason, whether the audience is satisfied with the arc is entirely up to them. Taking into consideration that they had to cram a whole lot of story into just two games- the second game in particular, I can acknowledge they did their very best with the limitations that were there.

And there we have it! That’s all I could think to say on the matter. I hope everyone who read this till the very end enjoyed it, maybe even learned a thing or two. I’m always open to questions, input and constructive criticism!

#dgs #dgs spoilers #tgaa #tgaa spoilers #barok van zieks #I'M FREE!#well until I tackle the DLC content #but until then...#FREEEE

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bleachbleachbleach · 3 years ago

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Currently re-reading TYBW in anticipation of the new content and I can't help but be intrigued by the fact that Szayelaporro made enough of an impact on Mayuri that he's-- thinking about him? Vividly hallucinating him???? Whatever is going on there-- in the middle of a battle. Since we don't get a lot of insight into Mayuri's emotional landscape I think it's the first time we really see ANYTHING related to how he maybe feels about past battles

Anon, forgive me, these thoughts are going to be very preliminary because we are 0 for 2 on remembering this scene.

I KNOW, what right do we have to adorn this blog in the mantel of Sunflower Mayuri if we can't even recall his role in TYBW?? (In my defense, while I was cherrypicking bits and pieces to read on behalf of the Zombies, I was like, "hot damn, Mayuri really got around in this arc." I'm honestly not sure there was a single other characters who did more things or went more places or interacted with so many different other characters.)

But I did go and find the panels in question, and they are indeed fascinating! (It's Chapter 643, for those following along.) It's pretty impressive that Subconscious Szayel shows up here, given that it's been almost two years since that fight. Maybe mental time is different for shinigami, since two years is but a drop in the bucket in terms of their lifespan; maybe the memories hold firm because it's like That One Time I Studied Abroad in Hueco Mundo. But here's Szayel, comin' to give Mayuri an off-kilter pep talk:

I like Szayel quite a bit; he's probably my favorite of all the Espada. I liked his fight with Mayuri, too. But I think of all the ways to interpret this extended hallucination, the one that's most interesting to me ends up being pretty impersonal. Like, not thinking about Mayuri and Szayel as individuals with some kind of intense interpersonal relationship but as typology. Maybe Szayel the individual doesn't actually live rent-free inside Mayuri's head, but the fact that a type like him once existed in Hueco Mundo does.

Mayuri sees Hollows as scientific discoveries/lab rats (re: his whole Hueco Mundo caravan, and this extended bit about Arrancar zombies), even after engaging at length with Espada. Mayuri also has strong opinions about how shitty Quincy are. At this moment, he's fighting a war split cleanly between shinigami and Quincy, along ideological lines but also generally existential/essentialist ones. (NB: My grasp of the TYBW's wherefores is VERY limited, because I haven't cherry-picked my way to re-reading those parts yet, but I still feel pretty comfortable in saying this because I am POSITIVE most of the characters involved in this arc know even less than me. Mayuri is not one of them, but that's the general vibe.)

But man, as shitty as Mayuri thinks Quincy are, it's not like he holds the sanctity of shinigami life in high regard, either. He blows up his own men, advertises his desire for no-holds-barred test subjects--and is of course full-willing to modify himself. I think he probably sees this as stretching the boundaries of what "being shinigami" means, rather than leaving the identity behind (that's Aizen's schtick), but the fact that this innate, unyielding, immutable idea of shinigami just isn't that important to him. It's also what this whole big dumb war boils down to, in a way: Quincy right to exist. Shinigami right to exist. Whatever eschatological additions the Soul King stuff brings into all that.

I'm fascinated by a potential reading where, sure, we're talking about Nemu as a perfect scientific achievement (even though there's so such thing, and I firmly believe Mayuri really believes this), but we're also talking about the fact that the thing she is meant to replicate, the horizon she is meant to achieve, is a shinigami. ("Just" a shinigami, albeit idealized around certain subjective parameters Mayuri has defined for the project.)

She's this fantastic scientific achievement, but she's still created in a death god's image, and what's so great about that? This war is being fought for the sake of Soul Society (read: shinigami, fuck Rukongai), so what's so important about the war?

To be fighting in a war that doesn't align with your values (whatever those values are) is a pretty despairing thought. Mayuri just heckled Ikkaku and Yumichika about this earlier in the arc, and deploys similar ironic commentary against zombie Hitsugaya (he's like, "oh, you're probably fine with this horrible, unlivably painful thing I'm about to do to you because it's for the sake of Soul Society, right?"). Hitsugaya and Byakuya also later have a slightly unhinged convo about this later, about fighting for Soul Society vs. fighting for nakama vs. fighting for tomodachi. They come to vastly different conclusions than Mayuri does, but I think are engaged in a similar process of assessment/alignment.

I think Mayuri recognizes that there is no such thing as value-free science. He's certainly not 心優しい (tenderhearted)--I'm thinking about that phrase specifically because that's how he describes Hitsugaya to zombie Hitsugaya--but he's not objective, either. There's no such thing as perfection; there's no such thing as "objective." Nemu getting obliterated? Probably does hurt. He probably does love her, in some very specific definition of the term. But I think it's also a deliberation that's taking place at some higher-order, less personal, archetypal level re: the entirety of the TYBW itself. And Mayuri's basically like, fuck it, eat her, I will make her anew and I will make her better. And there's something in there that's not just about divesting oneself of attachment, or delusions of perfection--it's also about asserting some... viewpoint or vantage point about why the Gotei 13 should be winning this thing.

For Mayuri, whatever that reasons is, it's not noble, nor is it the pure-hearted tomodachi vibes that Ichigo's all in for. Yet whatever it is, it's still something he considers to be setting him apart from Subconscious Szayel. Whatever it is, it looks like Nemuri 8.

#kurotsuchi mayuri #watch this all make absolutely no sense in relation to the rest of TYBW that I cannot remember #i am but a floppy disk attempting to write the thousand floppy disks of data that is TYBW #bleach tybw #bleach manga #bleach headcanons

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floralkittygambler · 4 years ago

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HuskerDust - More Toxic Than You Think [LONG]

This is the rough version of a deeper and more complex subject I want to ‘decorate’ with more ‘screencaps’. DISCLAIMER: This is allegedly controversial and led to me getting literal death threats and an ED triggered. Ive about heard a lot of people’s shit on this so dont try it. I’m speaking from personal experiences too - experiences I really fuckin dont wanna be sharin yet they kinda validate my points. I want people to be aware of the damaging image from someone who can speak from experience without attracting dickheads or people twisting things. Again, I aint particularly comfortable sharing this so yeah- Be courteous- TW AHEAD - ALSO LONG ASS READ. DNI STANS OR ANTIS. May tag a few folks, may not. HuskerDust is an extremely popular ship in the community however there’s glaringly obvious flaws in this one-sided relationship that both the fans and even the team fail to see. Neglecting the dangerous real world implications this ship [as well as many others] present to it’s audience - especially the more influenced of the audience, most who are children.

Angel flirts with all the male cast however one who catches his eye the most is Husk. Now I want to point out a few things [of many... obviously]; Angel is instantly starry eyed upon seeing Husk, likewise he actually started off with a ‘Hey~’ instead of something sexual. However he quickly ruins this after Husk tells him to go fuck himself [defined by: “ go fuck yourselfphrase of fuckVULGAR SLANGan exclamation expressing anger or contempt for, or rejection of, someone.” ie, he rejected instantly] by responding with an offer to allow Husk to essentially watch him masterbate. Alongside this, he cradles his face. Husk pulls away and seems to pull a face to express rage/disgust or growling imagery alongside COMPLETELY withdrawing his body away from Angel as Angel stares with goo-goo eyes. Firstly, Angel loves animals - perhaps it’s Husk appearing cute that adds to this, however Im not going to address animal imagery just yet. Secondly, Angel isn’t really portrayed to respect other’s boundaries BUT he does respect... Alastor’s. Al declines the blowjob to which Angel shrugs and doesn’t push this matter any further. With Husk, he’s pretty harshly told to piss off yet he makes quite and explicitly sexual remark, alongside invading his personal space and touching a man clearly disinterested and pulling away. From the initial rejection, it then becomes sexual harassment. I also want to add that Husk comes with [some] perks in his feline form. And if my name didnt make it obvious, I work with and live with cats on a daily. Briefly, I have been educated in how to understand cat’s language in various individual cat as well as how to handle and work with them. Cats are often drawn towards me and Ive been successful with various types of cats. My most recent being a cat I’ve dubbed as Big - Big was abandoned quite young and has lived most his life on the streets [where I live is high in crime and drug rings, so you can imagine how strays are treated] leading to him being extremely fearful and hating people, hissing and fleeing just seeing people. I took time out last summer to finally give befriending him a shot. It’s taken just under a year of hard work and now he visits every day for his mush [wet food] and kisses, responds to his name and runs up to me in delight. Ive even taught him a phrase to signal that I dont want him or the other cat’s to fight [keeps them all safe and aids them becoming acquainted under supervision - something that’s been working surprisingly well]. I apologise in advance as this is not going to be the first instance of this sort of thing but they are relevant. Trying my best to keep it as brief. For Husk, I will be using a mix of cat and human characteristics to break down his reactions. In this first interaction, he turns his body away in a way to suggest caution, wariness and disinterest. In fact, much of his general body language is that of a man deeply closed off from connections - for starters, he folds his arms quick a bit which suggests lack of openness, shutting off and defensiveness *usually*. Likewise, when touched, he slightly jumps and tenses before pulling back in aggression with flattered ears - a sign cats give to display extreme hostility in a situation. It’s NEVER a good thing but then again, neither is crossing someone’s boundaries. It’s even stated that Husk hates Angel’s advances and wishes for nothing to do with him - the same dislike of sexual advances that Al dislikes in Angel. The ending as they all walk inside, Angel turns to Husk, winking and blowing a kiss his way despite the clear rejection earlier. In fact, Husk once again grows tense and is even irked by such a gesture. This won’t be the last mention of Angel totally disregarding how Husk feels - something that rubs off onto the fans AND the team themselves. And it’s... *concerning*, to phrase it lightly. Angel so far is the most persistent towards the most resistant, and in my post on RadioDust I have already established [briefly] on how Angel seems to chase unavailable men. The more unavailable, the more tempting. The one that got away, mentality. It’s not healthy. And I’m surprised so few have acknowledged this. Taking a break from what we’ve seen in the Pilot, let’s establish some facts about the pair. Angel died in 1947 in his 30s [some posts specify 34-35], putting his birth year around 1911-12ish. Husk died in the 70s IN his 70s [again, nothing is truly specified, so for both we’ll go with 75 - the same number in his IG username] that puts birth year roughly 1900′s. Now an age gap between two adults of 11 - 12 years difference is actually reasonable and can work, depending on circumstance and whether theres a balance in power or not. But when we account for their life experiences and death ages, it’s something else entirely. Angel died young. Not only that but his mind seems more stuck in his raunchy teens than of an adult. And even THEN, he wouldnt be one to necessarily settle down [by which I mean in life, not romance]. He’s extremely emotionally stunted and his selfishness and wanting his own way come off very spoilt [when Husk is pissed off about the cat costume, Angel gets moody because he’s used to compliments AND is dressing to impress Husk. When Husk wanted the money he was rightfully owed, Angel threw a fit for ages until starting to earn it back - even though he owed Husk a drink, which I’ll be coming back to, Husk still wanted the money in the end perhaps hinting to only accepting a freebie as it’s on offer as well as Angel being overly persistent. He even dumps his pig onto Husk to look after, while theres no issue in pet sitting, Angel said Husk ‘owed’ him due to missing the show yet when HE owed Husk, he threw a fit.]. Angel’s life style is wildly chaotic in life AND death, and even though we all know he’s most likely going to be redeemed, he still lacks a lot of experiences in life. He lacks maturity. On the other hand, Husk’s been through his own share of chaos and heartbreak. Difference is, he’s had a life time of experience. He doesn’t act immature in a childish sense. He truly behaves like a downtrodden old man. He’s had his days and would feel more secure settling down in a more peaceful environment with fun yet much needed calm. A better way to handle his need for risk. Age gaps in adults that are large [75 - 35 = 40 years!] are far less likely to work for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is the difference in life stages - that difference in mentality and experiences plays such an impacting role on compatibility. Often their goals and energies are polar opposites and their common grounds minimal. There’s also the looming concern of power dynamics. Whilst it’s usually the older figure that’s holds the power advantage, in this case it’s a little bit more complicated. I’d argue that it’s possibly Angel with the higher power. This rarely works irl but it’s POSSIBLE. Look at Hugh Heffner and his last partner before his death. I believe she was around 22. However there’s many common grounds, immediate attraction, and similar goals. Though incorrect, Heffner does give off a pimp-like vibe (he’s not but you get what I’m implying with mothlike imagery). Husk does not strike me as that type. It would definitely cheapen his character. In terms of interests, the main thing they have in common is that they like to drink. A bad habit, especially when one is an alcoholic. Both are also rather lazy except for certain circumstances [Husk will go out of his way to help HOWEVER he’s obliged to under Al, the only one he’s seen to willingly help and bond with/be seen with is Niffty. Angel is when there’s a fight, chaos, drama or any sex work]. Both are also rather snarky and vulgar. In terms of love, both suffer intimacy issues. On Husk, it’s ‘losing the ability to love a long time ago’ meaning he was likely cheated on or at least had a failed relationship. If he was ever ready for a new start, he’d definitely want something stable yet rewarding. For now, he needs a LOT of work - work he is not yet willing to put in, nor does he have a reason to. Angel doesnt want to commit because he’s extremely selfish as well as in an already abusive ‘relationship’ already. Sex work is sometimes VERY taxing on the mental health due to some of the folk you service. He’s seen the worst in many and just enjoys the pay and fuck. IF Husk was cheated on, then it’d make a lot of sense if a sex worker wouldn’t be his flavour, it would just serve as a reminder. Not only this, but Angel HIMSELF actively participates in cheating. Not with Val... but with *Travis*. BOTH know Travis is married (I’d be feckin worried if Trav didnt-) yet they still choose to cheat anyways, regardless of the pain it could cause. Angel even mocks this by sending greetings to Trav’s wife. Honestly this... Reminds me a LOT of Stolas - a main character who sexually harasses another character clearly not interested/comfortable, participates in cheating and we’re supposed to root for them (and before anyone gets offended, I do have more to say on Angel’s behalf so please be patient). Either way, it’s very toxic and concerning. Even if Husk wasn’t cheated on, I dont think many would feel exactly secure after having such a rough past with love, diving into a relationship with someone who’s openly participated in multiple affairs. And that’s no shitting on sex workers either, it’s just a point that some would feel uncomfortable with the idea of being with ANYONE (regardless of their work) having actively and KNOWINGLY took part in having an affair previously - especially multiple. Husk’s in an emotionally fragile place and needs more security. We’ve already established Husk heavily dislikes Angel’s advances. In fact, his responses to Angel are similar to his responses to... Al! His body language is VERY test and closed off to even Al, who’s most likely knew him for a very long time. If even Al gets this treatment (whilst also disrespecting his boundaries) then it’ll be the same with Angel (both force Husk into their lives and schemes, both disregard his boundaries). And he’s shown to STILL go out his way to help both however this is most likely tied to an unspoken ‘debt’ he owes Alastor. Plus he’s been mentioned behind the scenes to be a secret softie and protective grandpa type. But this animosity is very reflective of how Loona behaves and responds to Blitzo as well as how both Loona AND Husk (One being a ‘lowly servant’, the other being a literal old MAN) as pets - even the fans - just because of their forms. But this isnt the first of the disrespect they receive. Now we delve deeper Both are addicts of some kind (Husk - drinking, gambling. Angel - Drugs, possibly sex). Not a good mix at all romantically. Addicts often and unintentionally feed their addictions to each other as well as can increase likelihood of relapsing which even a recovered addict can slip back into. When times get tough (a natural occurrence) both are likely to suffer with their addictions. Interestingly, they can become addicted and dependent on one another, which is genuinely unhealthy for a mindset anyways, regardless whether addiction existed prior or not. Addiction only increases these chances. Angel likes confidence in a man (confirmed on Patreon). Yet, Husk is even confirmed in streams to be deeply troubled and insecure. One thing he hates is his demon form, something that we’ll touch on shortly. Angel loves quality food ESPECIALLY of Italian origin whilst Husk is willing to eat the shit they give you in bars (admittedly that was painful to type as someone who grew up around pubs - either way it’s not exactly high quality or gourmet is what I’m saying). Interestingly, in some character references of Angel, it’s stated that he hates rejection. Hates. That’s a VERY strong word. This could explain but not justify why he’s persistent with Husk (similar to NiceGuys believing you’re playing ‘hard to get’ - further illuding to an immature and toxic mindset) though it interestingly doesn’t apply with Alastor. Odd. There’s a counterpoint to symbolism in art. A very VALID counterarguement... If it suited Viv’s style. During Media Studies, Business, Design and Art, hell fucking Silent Hill! - I’ve been educated on effective symbolism as well as artistic trademarks (the most famous that most should know is Alfred Hitchcock!). Hitchcock often appeared in all his films, usually as a sidefacing silhouette, trading marking his films with his very PRESENCE. Viv’s seems to revolve around hearts. I mention this because an IG account made the point that hearts were to symbolise anyone connected with Angel’s story and love life (Valentino’s business and shades/collar, heart behind Angel’s head, Heart tattoo on Cherri’s right shoulder, hearts for Husk’s paws, eyebrow marks above natural brows, wings, and nose as well as most of the playing cards). Thing is, there’s hearts EVERYWHERE in all of Viv’s works and such symbology of Angel and hearts is weakened if it connects to the villains/abusers as well - taking away the positivity in a love symbol. Viv’s used hearts in her font, backgrounds, in characters ears, in all her series just generalised, Blitzo’s forehead, background characters, again the cards, Travis’s eyes, Millie’s right shoulder in the SAME place as Cherris. Even Vaggie had a heart tattoo on the shoulder in some christmas themed artwork (on her left). Heart’s is just something Viv seems to brand herself with. And that’s fine though I feel she could do with cutting it down slightly. One thing to early note on the cards (again, this’ll creep up later and my name should tell you why), most are heart suits and usually either a face card (J, Q, K), Joker, ace or 2s. Face cards/Jokers for more details close up (look at the signing artwork) and the rest are just easier to animate, though a little bit of a peeve to someone into their cards as well as the massive overuse of red in Hazbin overall. It’s extremely unlikely to be symbolic. If they change it to be so, then it’s... Weakened. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Silent Hill is an example of extremely clever symbolism in more darker media (more so, SH is considered a ‘hell’ of sorts and does feature religious iconography WITHOUT causing offence. A great example of how to portray this type of thing - they even mix humour in if you consider some of the sneaky references, dialogues and odd UFO/dog endings). Discussing Viv’s art further, she drew a gift for her sister (original creator of Husk when he possessed white fur) of Angel playfully dragging a disinterested and annoyed Husk (I believe this was still around the time SpiderMoth was canon). The newish art tends to have Angel putting a holly crown on him or sitting on his knees, Husk seeming too lazy to really do anything about it. Very nonchalant. I also want to include some interesting stream arts here and later to further highlight their bond. A fan asked Viv in a stream to draw them “actually getting along” - this wording implying that the fan is aware of Husk not enjoying Angel’s company. So Viv did, with an extra doodle of Husk being one of the ‘canadian people’ from South Park who sing “Im not your friend”. The art alone shows Husk’s absolute discomfort, even the extra thing Viv added w/o request. As they’re her characters and the fan asked for what they’d look like getting along, to show this discomfort goes to show the dynamic once planned. Husk just isnt a fan of Angel, especially when he’s being sexual and touchy. It can be great for small comedic parts, however both the team AND fans have now crossed this over to really creepy and triggering realms in their ships. It’s creepy and doesnt look good on Angel (who they actively root for) nor the gay community (more on that).

[Yes Ive already pointed out the comedic side of this ^ but it doesnt bode well considering the other points and issues that arise] There’s also a request for drag angel flirting with drunk husk. Personally thats a lil creepy to specify one of the two being intoxicated and thus not able to truly consent. If Angel is willing to flirt with someone in that state, it doesnt mean he would fuck them, but it does feel the fan was thinking that’s the case. In all truth, I think Angel WOULD flirt with those incapable of consent purely to swindle or pickpocket. I’d like to think [and HOPE considering his own abuse by Val] that he’d never take it further. And I hope Viv, the team and the fans see how incredibly creepy that thought is. I’ll give benefit of the doubt though it is still a concern. Either way, Angel appears... Annoyed? Husk is completely turned away and seems incredibly grouchy and confused. This shows yet more rejection on his behalf as well as Angel’s response to being rejected, which highlights his immaturity towards it. Remember, he’s USED TO and EXPECTS everyone to want him (even saying this in the Pilot). Hell, there’s even a Rich Vaggie request where Viv again randomly includes Husk. This time, he’s faced towards her and relaxed, though seems unimpressed and overall disinterested in this type of behaviour. Behaviour and interests of Angel [Celeb status and rich appearance due to Val, despite getting very little of the cut and the vanity, as well as Husk just not giving a shit about this sort of peacock display]. (Also wanted to note in Viv’s #3 stream 1:50:50, Faust makes out that Husk is a ‘dirty, creepy old man’ as well as him constantly threatening violence towards Angel. I dont see him as *creepy* in this context - as it implies perversion that he blatantly lacks fortunately - though it’s very telling of how Husk feels and again shows this toxic relationship).

/Angel’s Type: First off, daddy issues. He has them. Now let’s look at ‘daddy’. Henroin is shorter than Angel, dark fur, grumpy, old, wears only a hat and tie, big brows... Sounds familiar? Ok, look at his brother Arackniss. Similar to Henroin, dark, short, grouchy, bullied by and bullies Angel, is adverse to Angel and overall possess a bad relationship. Ok.... His main client, Travis! Short, dark fur, moody, Only wears hat and tie, drinker (shown in stream as request so take drinking with a pinch), similar face to- Is no one else seeing this trait? Angel seems to go for these shorter than him grouchier men who either want him for sex or hate his presence. Men who are like his dad and brother. All of these guys are far too similar, and we’ve got enough men in suits, bowties and sharp teeth in this show to boot as it is- The psychology of this type of attachment is rooted in a bad familial relationship alongside the subconscious desire to repair or compensate for it. Unknowningly the person will keep seeking out this sort of guy who isnt good for them to fix this internal issue. The resolution is to NOT go for these types. It’s also connected to intimacy fears, by going for those you know arent good for you/right for you/interested in you is often the manifestation of these issues. Pair them with daddy issues and it’s a disaster! There is science to back this up. Valentino is interestingly the opposite yet still toxic issues arise. Why? Because he’s going from one extreme to the other but with the same mindset. Neither of these men or types for MANY reasons are right for him. And visa versa. Seeing a pattern? ~~~~

Angel w Husk? I mentioned before that Husk hates his demon form. If you’re an old man, a gambler, some Vegas bloke and have this grouchier disposition, why the fuck would you want to look like an oversized pet? Exactly. Angel however adores his own aside from the feet. Now I find it strange how the guy we’re rooting for just so happens to like his own form which was intended for punishment. But that’s not todays post. I said earlier that Angel is heavily fixated on Husk’s appearance. Especially the feline aspects (calling him Husky and Kitty - petnames he hates that also treat him again more like a pet than a man -, dressing as a ‘sexy cat’ to appeal to him which can come off as more mockery. This is even backed up by fans who seem to think an old guy’s gonna act like some school girl anime trope?). All of this completely disregards and disrespects Husk’s feelings and perspectives. Something the fans and team take part in actively. Angel - whether you want to hear this or not - is SELFISH. When Husk ‘owed’ him for missing the show (babysitting Fat Nuggets), Husk begrudgingly fulfils this. The second Angel owed Husk for stealing drinks, Angel threw a hissy fit. The silent treatment, going to other bars and posting about it whilst complaining (again focusing on Husk being ‘cute’). Trying to cop out of it by buying Husk a smoothie (though it looked like a date, lets be real, do you REALLY have to bribe someone to date and be around you? No) and even then he still had to owe the money which was more of Husk’s concern. Yes he did in the end and more money than needed, hence the returning of the extra cash, but that is no excuse for the childish behaviour prior. He’s much too accustomed to being adored and pampered and getting his own way that he cant grasp when people arent a fan or willing to pamper him. If they make them a ship, all it does it make Angel completely into a shitty Gary-Stu that everyone loves and pities for his suffering, rather than teach him to grow, earn his redemption and confronting his own toxicity. Let me make this extremely clear: ANGEL DOES NOT DESERVE ABUSE OR RAPE. But when he starts behaving as shitty, he’s hard to root for. Remember, he’s sexually harassing all these guys, with Husk getting the brunt of it. But it’s treated as a joke for them and only taken seriously for Angel. Val abuses all of his employees. He abuses VOX and even THAT was mocked by fans and staff. It’s... It’s frankly gross. In every interaction Husk has with Angel, his body language is closed off, tense, uncomfortable, turned away and hostile - look at the IG. He wont even allow Angel to touch him. Compare this to Niffty, who he’s fine with taking pictures with and letting her hang around and touch him. Body language is relaxed (relaxed shoulders, open body language) and he doesnt look hostile at all. What does Angel do? Always tries to get close to Husk (such as sitting as close as possible during Poker) and forces both his OWN hobbies onto Husk (ones that Husk shows a strong disinterest in) and Husk’s hobbies (Poker). It’s very FORCED and not natural. Going back to immaturity, he blames Husk and his cards for being shit at the game. They’re always bickering, insulting, fighting in the comments but fans only see this as a ‘cute couple fight’ or Husk being ‘tsundere’.Tsundere. An anime trope often used in young characters. Irl tsundere is NOT this dramatised. The tsundere you see in anime, apply that irl and you get the recipe for the most toxic, petty and immature relationship going. You get constant fights, unease, not feeling loved/appreciated, little trust - the list goes on. Plus an old bloke really isnt going to indulge in tsundere traits. It’s childish. After his history with love, I doubt he’d be up for games and messing about. For something meaningful, he’d just want open honesty. Their ‘relationship’ feels like it’s written by horny kids attempting a fanfic after being inspired by 50 shades and twilight (both show toxic relationshiiiiiips~). The worst is that these are adult writers trying to portray some realistic yet sensitive topics. This is just ill fuckin taste. Even the warnings in Helluva’s ‘Horny Demons’ leaves a bad taste when the fans are thinking Stolas is the best dad despite both parents ruining Octavia’s mental health. Despite the next day after that episode aired Stolas starts flirting with Blitzo again on IG. Despite Blitzo being clearly uncomfortable and sexually harassed and even co-herced into sex (VERY UNHEALTHY MESSAGES HERE). Viv herself has been in bad relationships so how the fuck she’s blind to this and even borderline fetishizing this sort of behaviour that everyone seems to play off as ‘Awwww cute tsundere <3 BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS’ is abhorrent. I’ll go into this more later on how this really just... It treats male sexual harassment and assault as a fucking joke- Angel’s constant unwarranted flirting is no different from the freaks on IG that send dick pics to underage kids and random women in their dms and fathom that they’re ‘nice’ and have a ‘chance’. Wanna know the creepiest? The candid photo of Husk on Angel’s wall. Something Husk seems horrified about. It’s fangirlish and teenager like at BEST, and obsessive stalker at worst. He’s NOT respecting Husk’s boundaries or feelings. That’s still up despite Husk’s reaction. He still wore the costume despite Husk’s feelings. Angel’s thinking with his dick and it’s such a fucked up message that everyone seems to support just because ‘its FICTION. Theyre in HELL.Theyre BAD people.’ Yeah? Well look at how that’s effecting and warping reality and perspective. It’s glamourising it. Fetishsizing stalking and making it cute. Yer have celebrity or boyband or whatever youre a fan of pics on your wall. NOT your crush. NOT someone who clearly isnt interested or happy with this. If someone who kept commenting on your pictures “sexy” suddenly had a picture of you on their wall, what would YOU think? How would YOU FEEL? Because myself and my own sisters have been in VERY fucking similar situations and it’s traumatic. His paw is even attempting the lens - Angel is crossing his boundaries and not getting the message that Husk doesnt want this. He’s forcing himself onto Husk. Yknow... VAL forced himself on Angel and it ended up in numerous rapes. Angel hasnt raped Husk, but if he wont take no. If he wont respect boundaries. If he only wants Husk to do what he wants but throws a fit when he owes husk - he’s picking up on Val’s bad habits more and more. How are so few - even the very team creating this - not seeing how disgusting this is? Are we only supposed to give a shit if Angels hurt? If so, the message isnt so much of how despicable Val is but how awful it is to upset Angel. Fans constantly blame Husk for being grumpy, annoyed at or rejecting Angel. Look at this real world implication. Not only that but Angel being gay just reinforces one of the worlds most disgusting and inaccurate stereotype of gay men being sexual predators and forcing men to have sex whether theyre comfortable or not. MOST gay men arent like this, and those who are its just because THEYRE shitty people (Jeffree fucking Starr, but look how people ‘stan’ his fuckin behaviour). Val is rubbing off on Angel as much as fiction has a MASSIVE impact on reality - whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Like Val, hes pushing past boundaries, he’s selfish, hes more into visuals than anything else. It’s one sided, superficial and theres no click. No connection. Be in this situation yourself and seeing this sorta shit becomes second nature to stay alive. Angel even says that most of hells residents are ‘ugly freaks’ yet finds Husk cute. It’s all LOOKS. Who else likes appearances alone? Val. I know this will trigger and upset fans, Ive been told to fucking die and have my ED triggered when I mentioned it before. But accept that all of them have flaws. Everyone irl have flaws. But there’s flaws and then theres a fuckin crime. If Husk was a woman, more people would see the flaw, but even then... Look at many romance movies - not all but many go for opposites attract (science proves this inaccurate irl), stalking, or even sexual harassments and assualts but she falls for him and they end up together. That aint love thats Stockholm with extra steps. Think you’re triggered and upset? Go through this shit - have a history with it happening - and then see some show you love and a comfort character get treated the exact same and everyone JUSTIFIES it, including the team themselves. It’s NOT cute. Part 2 to the previous point: Both do share common interests, but it’s very unhealthy such as excessive drinking, both being addicts and being rather lazy, etc. Otherwise the common ground just isnt good. They’re opposites that really dont compliment each other. (Not a valid point here but I find it interesting how Angel loves aquariums and Husk can fly too). Viv’s writing is mediocre at best (but with glowing potential - a diamond in the rough - hence why it’s so frustrating) but Husk’s writing is the laziest. According to Viv he’s (paraphrased) “easiest to write... doesnt care about anything, almost always grumpy leading to similar reactions to everything”. His voice and alcoholism even has a lot of inspiration from Rick Sanchez. As I said with Angel in the RadioDust post, it’s almost like the addictions are seen as a joke. A running gag is fine if you can play it off well and it’s not about something so serious EVEN MORE SO when the series is about how damaging the addictions are and redemption. Why is this end goal being ignored unless it’s about Angel himself? That’s not just favouritism or bias, that’s also heavily self indulgent and a backwards ass message. Right now, Hazbin and Helluva have this ugly fixation on sex and ships. VIV has a fixation on ‘horny demons’. Her main characters are incredibly sexual bar Al (dont even say Husk, Niffty, Charlie or Vaggie or even loona and Moxxie are even on par with the focus and treatment Val, Angel, Blitz and Stolas are given). It’s very fixated and concerning. Its starting to feel like it’s about to divulge into hentai than a legit series with even a hint of the plot or a message. It reminds me of Family Guy trying to be BoJack. It’s starting to remind me of fucking Sausage Party and the final orgy. Sex and swears makes it inappropriate for kids but that doesnt make it adult or mature, and this is coming from someone who swears more than a fucking sailor whos stubbed his bare pinky toe on a fucking crate corner. Constant swears arent funny or artful in the slightest when it’s over done. It’s just... childish adult humour. We cant be expected to want to root for any of them at this rate- All A24 and other companies are seeing is big cash and easily manipulated child audiences (for easy money). They KNOW it can be better but theyd rather be lazy as they’ll profit big either way. This is going to end up like YanSim and YanDev. Amazing potential, shit writing with a leader too stubborn to accept and act on criticism, seeing it as hate. At this point, Husk isnt a deeply troubled man with vices and interests. He’s just fuck candy and romantic end goal for Angel. To compliment and complete him. Just another accessory to the Angel Show. Vivs sister who made Husk even loves Angel so it’ll only serve to further this already toxic narrative. The ship doesnt look or feel right. There’s too much established now to see the dynamics and favouritism in the creators. Self indulgence. You cant play favourites when you do this sort of thing professionally. The audience can see it and it turns people away. Ask any nonHaz/Helluva fan what they think and it’s... Well, average. Another thing is everyone went full hype on Frozen focusing on something other than romance as a form of love. But then go back to “Ok now everyone reenact the final scenes of Sausage Party” afterwards. Not everything is sex and romance, and it really is starting to feel Viv and the fans are focused on that like Incels focusing on ‘chad’. It’s creepy. Helping with food, telling someone self conscious on their weight that they’re not fat, not taking more money than someone owes, even helping out with a pet - that’s something that a good friend would do. In fact, Husk even laughs at the goofy Angel cutout and it being destroyed. It doesnt instantly equate to wanting to fuck. The fact that the fans and even some of the team seem borderline horny is... Completely destroying this show, it’s message and everything about it. Viv said ships were hardly the focus in her stream but look at it now. Look at what Viv focuses on now. It’s just fanservice shit. Nothing more. Self indulgence shit, look at the team making rape into a fetish or shipping themselves publicly with the characters on the public IGs. It’s like watching children run a business and it’s painful because the entire series is suffering when it could be amazing. Friendship should be more normalised as a valuable type of relationship just as much as love or family are. I’ll also add that Husk adding after the show “Oh fuck... Is this what I missed? Shit.” is ooc like the ‘date’ (that was compensation for stolen drinks, like a tamer version of Blitzo fucking Stolas for the grimoire). It contradicts that he slept it off rather than an attempt at staying awake, as well as calling it a “god damn peepshow” implying a repulsion to the peverse tendencies. The constantly commenting, following and posting Angel related pics makes little sense either from someone who’s blatantly been sexually harassed as well as the clear repulsion of the candid pic on the wall. He outright rejected Angel. What would be realistic are the IGs focusing on learning about the characters, their lives and interests - ALL updating at realistic paces. Old men arent tech savvy usually nor care for social media that much. He’d post drinks, gambling, casinos, life with Niffty and Alastor. Heck maybe a picture of Angel captioned “When will this guy leave me the FUCK alone?”. He even only seems to tag angel, even in the pic that had Charlie and Vaggie [their shared account] or Niffty. Theres a CLEAR bias in the staff room and it’s messy. Look how most the female cast is ignored (Vaggie/Charlie, Velvet who posted a birthday gift to one of the new artists on the merch WHY? Gasu btw, Niffty, Millie only posting twice - heck even Vox and Loona sometimes get neglected. CLEAR. BIAS.) The ships focused on are 1) NOT established canon yet publicly favoured by Viv and the team (Stoliz, HuskerDust, VoxVal - that last pair havent actually got a VA either-), 2) Are TOXIC and theme around abuse or sexual harassment but it’s ‘cute because gae’ - NO. This makes gay people look really bad when they’re not. 3) HD and SL focus on one sided, stalkerish, cop out ‘tsundere’ excused ships to sugar coat the creepiness which only further fuels bigotry, 4) SL has MERCH on it now, so thats also profiting on sexual harassment imagery (again, dont give a shit they arent real - the EFFECTS are. The people who can relate ARE. The people being horridly stereotyped ARE). Thing is, the IGs originally were there to promote ADDICT which started as a fan song anyways despite everyone saying how Viv is stubborn in her ways an uninfluenced by her fans (proof says otherwise) yet shes allowed a fan song to be canon. Theres a focus on forced love for fanservice. The IGs have long outstayed their welcome. The Val account allows glamourisation of the sick shit Val does AND entinses fans to bully as they forget a REAL PERSON runs the fucking account, Val isnt even a scary villain either - hes just a big teen like everyone else - stuck in a teen drama with all this. Pimps are smart. Theyre scary. Theyre masters of manipulati- HOW DO THEY NOT DO THE RESEARCH?! Viv wanted this sense of realism and dealing with sensitive topics in one of the worst executed ways Ive ever seen- It’s toxic. It’s dangerous. These are shit messages and your fans display that when they think all criticism is ‘hAtE’ and actively bully real people w REAL EXPERIENCES. Telling them to ‘stop pls’ does fuck all because you still promote shit messages straight after. Like with Stolas to Blitz in a IG story a day after Ep 2. Classy. Fanservice seems desperate to keep these fans (rather than market correctly... Just like YanDev) and it leads to fans feeling like they have the audacity to steer the series. Poor business with WEAK boundaries. Viv, you lost your series a long time ago. Want it back? LISTEN TO LEGIT CRITICISM. Stop surrounding yourself with yes men. Even my best fucking friend calls me out when Im out of line because a real friend will fucking take the chance of hurting your feelings if it means helping you in the long run and grow. Mick joked about the inside of Husk’s ears matching Angels coat, that the ears are cat’s most sensitive and vulnerable parts. 1) Cats vulnerable part is their tummy - hence why you need their trust first (alternatively yer get the odd cat that has full confidence they cat hurt you a lot faster than you can tickle them - I own one), 2) Its weird that Viv doesnt know this considering how many cats she has - its important to learn the language of those you love to give them your full understanding and a great bond 3) This romanticises sexual harassment more than it already is in the media (remember, theres women out there still murdered for saying no!) as well as reinforces the stereotypes of gay men forcing non-interested men into sex (again, a very toxic and unrealistic trope - a dangerous one thats led to gays being murdered!). And the ears design is unnecessarily overly complex considering those fuckin wings he supports. If the design adds nothing to the character but aesthetic, then it can go on the chopping block. Rules for simple animation. Besides from Angel sharing the same tooth as Val (who knows if that was added after he started working for Val as branding?) you could use this argument to say Pent or Al are soulmates for Angel because of having striped suits, or sharp teeth - no, it was intended as a joke that Viv fueled to irresponsibly because it’s not the first time she’s dodged publicly addressing something (something youll NEED to get used to in a big company), and she’s publicly dodged shit after this too so Im not putting faith in her until she can act professionally as the job requires. Likewise, professionals should consider what and how they joke as they’re presenting an image of a company/business. And people WILL eat that shit up face value regardless. In her stream #2, a fan requests for art of flustered angel and smug husk to fuel their ship. at 2:10:21, she does so. She’s also done this for Baxter x Niffty and Cherri x Tom. As a professional, you really should be avoiding this sort of thing in the name of fanservice. I get it, fanservice = financial gain. But it also results in empty meaning. It’s a shell of what the passion project once was, hence why you make the ENTIRE skeleton before involving others. The team help construct the muscles, tendons and organs. The public - moreso critics and the more experienced in those fields help sew the skin. Then you bring it to life, the fans become like blood. They aid to keep it alive. Even Ash and Mick mention Husk being ‘tsundere’. Im had most my piece about it earlier, however I’ll repeat and add some extras. Tsundere is an exaggerated personality, often used in younger characters. In terms of a relationship, it’s very immature, leads to poor communication and results in a toxic love. Science can back this up as well as the lack of realism. It’s more immature minds/hearts that go to what they interpret as tsundere in hopes of the love life the media portrays. A farce. Y’know what Angel needs? Someone open, honest, open to love and comforting. He doesnt need someone rebuffing and him chasing. It’s nothing more than an immature thrill. Once the love begins, it’s burns out QUICK. It’s far from sustainable or healthy. It’s not what either really need and further show Angel’s fixation on men who subconsciously remind him of his father. It’s not healthy. Another thing is a tsundere actually IS interested but shows it in the most immature and childish means possible. Would a really old bloke actually give a shit to play those sorts of games? No. Not one coming from a place like husk has. It’s painful how lacking in research and experience these people are. Science backs up that opposites solemnly attract also. In fact, they often either repel or only get as far as friendship. Fan and Team Mentality in Brief: Im coming out with my ultimate pet peeve: if you’re going to have one of the MAIN characters be a gambler, do your research. The only background shit is a casino, LOADS of sex references (in Pride? Really?) and drugs. It’s like someone listing what they think is adult and tabboo and naughty. It’s yikes. Cards are almost always aces, 2s or blank. MOST are heart suits (like we need MORE red - we get it, it’s hell. But it’s an immature larvae stage hell). I get 2s and aces being easier to animate, however you have Husks wings, the entire of alastor, angels arms - if youre busting the budget for the menial then bust it to the cards. Theres like ONE spade. The full house isnt a full house (here’s a display of the fans lack of education on the matter as well which serves as a sure sign that they know just as little on any of this as SpindleHorse, they think it’s a sign on him being a card cheat. A card cheat. I aint saying hes not but what I AM saying is poker professionals are some of the most observant people in the world. Especially when money’s involved they’ll ensure youve got your facts right. That wouldnt fly at ALL. But theres more~ fans think Husk spent loaaaads of time staring at angel’s face in the IG poker out of <3 Newsflash. When you play poker you read EVERYONE like a book. Every little twist and twitch of the features. Its not about love. It’s about winning. Its about money. Play enough poker and it’s instinct if you want to actually play decently. Call bluffs. Life aint a fuckin romance.) And playing Poker at a BlackJack table? In a casino? These are all common knowledge and basics if you just research. And this is coming from someone with a history of this. The fans even believed Tipsy Bartender’s ‘Peach Princess Cocktail’ was something Spindlehorse made as a beverage form of Niffty, Angel and even Charlie because of the name. Now, Im not expecting everyone to be a fuckin boozy either, but to not even consider it’s a very real drink does show that many fans are far too young for that 18+ label. Fanart of HD often has Husk being OOC OR being held hostage (often via webs - one even being reblogged by Viv, aint that cute!). Some even have Husk completely intoxicated, which would be rape. Im not sugarcoating it. Because too many are getting the sweet treatment and copying Viv’s ‘dont address and it disappears!’ tactic - A LOT of internet celebs do it. The ship is drawn a lot by the team in the public eye, Viv reblogs it publicly (SL, HD, alongside canon only ships, how curious-). Husk is pan yet doesnt behave as the stereotype. And Id FULLY support this with my fucking SOUL (fun fact: you cant sell a soul. Thats myth to scare people-) if it was done correctly. But the way bisexuals, lesbians, gays and aces are portrayed so stereotypically (even Pan in terms of Val’s sexomania), it’s really REALLY uncomfortly coming across as Husk being pansexual JUST to make him an ‘option’ for Angel. Hell even the hets are given a shite representation. Some art btw has husk tricked into a kiss. Cute, we’re really starting to like blurring consent aint we? Remember, Angel has celeb power in his world. In the real world, he has a following. HE has the power in the ship massively. Hell, fans JUSTIFY Angels behaviour and absolutely rip Husk a new shithole if he fuckin even so as to DARE OPPOSE ANGELS MUCH DESERVED LOVE! - sarcasm because I have to make that shit clear now. Fans dont care about Husks feelings, he wasnt even popular until this ship started to explode. Y’know what would be cool and break stereotypes? An old straight white guy actually accepting his friends sexualities. The pan thing feels really fucking gimicky and exploitive and gross based on the history of all this shit. It feels disingenuine. Representation doesnt come from it just being there. What next? Katie whips on blackface to further show shes a bigoted knobhead whos white and straight? Dont get me wrong, Katie’s an arsehole but theres other means to show this rather than ALL HETS HATE THE BIG GAE. They dont. They really dont. But hey, we’ll show a gay man sexually harass every guy and root for him! NO. Thats fucked up. It makes gays look like the predators theyre not. It’s like the fucking 50s with modern tech - is that the real identity of Vox? Fuckin maybe. WHAT THEY NEED - FUCKING FINALLY, ITS THE END IVE BEEN ON THIS SHIT FOR DAYS WHILST SICK LUCKY ME EH? CAN YER FEEEEEEEL MY TIREDNESS OF FANDOMS AND CREATORS EXCUSING SHITTY THINGS FOR CLOUT, MONEY, FAME AND OTHER DUMB SHIT? IF YOU CANT, THEN WHAT THE FUCK, AND OTHER NEWS: Right. Lets get our main shit. Compatibility between the pair is really low - lower than even the team seems to see. And yer old fart of a Hag here’s gotta use my personal suffering as an example because thats what the cool kids do, right? Their friendship compatibility is high. VERY high. But low for love. HEALTHY love. In terms of convo flow, it only has a river when insults are flying, otherwise Husk actively cuts Angel short or outright annoys him. In reality, someone like Husk would gross out Angel, but the cute cat look can turn that the fuck around - JUST the look. Fans and the team oddly think it’s cute though. Yes, I remember being negged at the bar and thinking “BOY arent my pants flooded like the fuckin planet when the ice caps are melting”. There’s no click. Theres infatuation and lust one sided based on looks. Husk isnt even remotely interested and no means delayed yes apparently. Angel as a rape VICTIM should know better than to blur consent like this. Angel isnt a rapist [for the skim reading raging stans ANGELS NOT A RAPIST, YAAAAAY!] but he sure has a shit grip on when he’s looking like Val when Val forced Angel into a kiss by not accepting rejection. It’s. CREEPY. Its fuckin weird. Husk is literally named after being a shell of his former self, I doubt random sex and forced interest is gonna make him spring to life like bastard Zeberdy from the Magic Pissin Roundabout. Honestly, sexual harassment and addictions are treated the same in this - a joke. A punchline. A gag. Sure makes me fuckin gag. Nah, the more healthier Chaggie relationship (needs work on Charlies damn part - dont let freaky taxidermy men sexually assault your life partner like that) is booooring, lets focus on sexual harassment leading to true love like all the other shitty romcoms shall we? Or sugar coat it with ‘getting to know them better <3′ like Beauty and the Beast. A story, by yours truly: My mom’s mates with this woman. Lets call her M because her name starts with an M. M is just like Angel except slightly older, overweight and disabled - so not everyones cup of tea visually (shes neither here nor there to me imo, not like I hold interest in shaggin her). Like Angel, she fuckin flirts with any ANY man around her. She’ll even touch without consent, rub allllll up and down their backs and bodies, and not leave them alone. She even did this with a few gay men. Shes not a horrible person BUT mom and I are constantly trying to stop her and get through her head how DISGUSTING this treatment is. But nothing gets the message across. Shes ALWAYS talking men and sex and has an on/off fling with this one bloke (dont worry, hes the male M, cheats and does the same as her). Everyone, even women, are uncomfortable with this. Irl it’s desperate and a HUGE repellent. Men are visibly SO uncomfortable. She does it to my father too who is - in case youd forgotten - MARRIED TO HER BEST. FUCKING. FRIEND. My father is not a man of fear (and interestingly, hes one of the real life Huskers I know!) but this woman? *insert Heavy bc why tf not* She scares him. My dad does everything in his damn power to pull away, reject, resist, avoid and cut her off. The only reason hes even nice to her at all is because mom likes her (when M isnt a gross hornbag, shes genuinely a good friend to my mother - much like angel and Cherri). My dad’s strictly banned from insulting her or telling her to fuck off from my mother BECAUSE of her nature with him. Even at her non horny times, he’s even said shes not his flavour. I’ve had numerous accounts like this myself (ask any woman-) but the worst was the guy thinking - THINKING - that Id eventually be his whilst he played up a lot of our similarities up, seemed nice and I actually thought I had a good guy friend (put it this way, Im genuinely scared of men because of guys like this). At this time, there was a character I discovered who looks and behaves SO much like me, and shes married. My simping arse for this fictional BEAUT [Im sorry but Iris is fucking awesome] compared her romantic traits towards Olgerd as something Id do - and this was a STATUS. It wasnt even too him, tagging him, nothing. I was just spamming Iris like the Iris whore I am, and... Yep. Ill be honest and say that God only knows what else I did that made him think I was ready to rip off my clothes and shag him. My post history back then showed Im like this when I find a character I relate to. I also send hearts a lot publicly and to friends to express joy - I get NERVOUS how that’ll be taken now. He tried to pit my ex friend and I against each other for him and even cyberstalked us pretending to be a girl named Raven. My GUT told me this aint no bastard ‘Raven’. The vibes he gave me, and the fact when I kept saying no he took it as a delayed yes (He even said “Ill wait for when youre ready” not “I understand and am happy to still be friends”) gave me literal nightmares of this guy tracking me down and raping me. He’s currently dating that ex friend (I was still willing to be their friend and support them but they said it was hard to keep us separate in her lifes and she didnt want conflict, so I cut it off amicably with her and I fuckin hope he treats her right. I even sensed in my gut she’d like him and he’d like her - even that theyd be good together! But then I found she was 17 and he was 10 years older, that he was cyberstalking and pitting us against each other, that he was secretly an arrogant fuck and that he gives off red flags like her ex’s - but shes passed 18 now and I want to trust her as an adult that she can deal with this. Shes got a good family.) As a kid, Ive been fuckin groped at school in my shitty neighbourhood. One kid even harassed me wanting to know if Id started my periods yet. Hed constantly fondle girls and ‘keg’ them aka yank down their skirts or trousers in public, and 2 years later held a fucking KNIFE to my throat in a classroom with the shittiest substitute teacher, all because I stood up to him (I was not known for my bravery at school so). He was harassing my female friend who suffers from it since as well as her upbringing, bullying her and stealing her stuff. Shes TINY. She was bullied just as bad as I - who was somehow both the school ghost AND pariah somehow- - and I stepped in and told him to cut that shit out before snatching her things back. I told her to ignore the desperate prick. Thats when he took a boxcutter and held it to my throat, threatening me to keep my head down. Now my neighbourhood fucking qualifies as the British ‘hood’ but Id been lucky to avoid this. Ironically, I wondered what this situation would be like a year prior. Im convinced I can fucking foresee bad shit now and with anxiety that aint good. I froze mentally and I just said “Wooow, Im fucking scared- *friends name*, ignore him” and continued my work. I fucking mentally kicked myself for speaking but I genuinely didnt know what to do. Obviously not fucking that. He sat the full TWO HOURS at our table with this knife, jolting forward mockingly and switching who he pointed it at. The knife btw was from that very room as it was graphics and art. Teacher didnt even notice though honestly Ive had an entire class throw shit at me and call me a whore and the teacher in that class looked at me and TURNED AWAY. End of the day, I reported it to my actual graphics teacher when he returned and he told me he’d take this higher up and to get my parents. My home was only 5 minutes away but I had to walk alone when most the students were gone AND through a fucking alleyway. I always walked with my head low but that day I kept it high and tried to look brave because I genuinely thought he was waiting for me. That he was going to rape and kill me because he’s a pervert and Id just discovered a fucking violent one at that. I broke down at my door. Do you know how fuckin hard it is to look your parents who are dealing with two cancer patients and other issues in the eyes and tell them their ‘little girl’ had a knife to her through for standing up for herself? We went back, I described everything and even remember the yellow-orange handle just to get this kid punished? I even wrote an official police statement (well, the written witness account they add to their statement and evidence) and had to speak on mine and my friend’s behalf because she was that shook up. I never even used to speak for myself! He got expelled, but yknow what us jolly folk dealt with? Hearing kids and his mates mumbling about the ‘rat’ and how much of a cunt they were. Teachers and kids praise him for his art skills and even pin them on display EVERYWHERE (one - ONE - was a fucking self portrait and none of the staff seemed to find issue in that) and even an occassion where he came back into the school when he legally wasnt (trespassing). Do you know how hard it is to fucking avoid someone without raising suspicions from everyone around you in a narrow corridor? Im TALL too. I got NO support from this and felt on edge because he could easily sneak into school. I couldnt say shit because his stupid ‘spies’ were about. Just typing this is upsetting enough- I also know a rl Angel who’s like him minus the sexual harassment. She’s... I never used to like her and visa versa but we actually get along really well now, even though she can be creepy and perverse- But she wouldnt be my type either nor I with her. Often we really fuck each other off but we can also bond great. Another incident reminds me of Husk’s candid photo. Ive had people keep my photo despite me saying not to however I had someone SOMEHOW at that school one the fuck up that. There was a cut out from a magazine of a lady who looked like my DOUBLE except she was asian. Now I thought this was cool and it made me feel sorta pretty. This one girl showed everyone and the teacher, pretty much everyone was like “Oh shit that really is you, C!” and it was harmless fun at first. Until I wanted the picture. Again, this woman looked EXACTLY like me. Yet this girl refused and said she wanted to keep it and even carried it around in her pencil case. Yes it wasnt me but due to the similarities, this photo was called me (tbf the fuckin pic got more respect than I did-). This isnt the only creepy instant between me and this girl but the photo reminds me of it. And this tops people keeping photos OF me which happened in primary school. This was me but legal at that time. And asain. It was super fucking neckbeardy the way she treated this photo and stared, often stroking it and looking at me. I just hope she was only trying to scare me. Theres one final instance of a sexual assault but Im just not yet ready to be public about it. 2 here already know. Those are some of my rl experiences and more to come (unfortunately) that show these behaviours in real life. It seems - it comes across - that sexual harassment, MORE SO TOWARDS MEN, is seen as some punchline and not something legitimately horrifying or dangerous. It’s not cute. It’s fucking FAR from it. Ive already mentioned how putting two addicts together can lead to relapsing, dependence on each other in an unhealthy way. And Ive even mentioned what Angel needs in a relationship in the RD post. Luckily for you, I’ll copy and paste it here: “ We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate.” Sorry for that copypaste clusterfuck. Copy paste is not my forte lol Now Husk. Remember Big? Probably not after the info overload, but if you do GREAT. Big needed love, patience, understanding, someone who could help him, someone who understood and respected his boundaries. I spent so much damn time and now he cuddles up and exposes his tummy because I make him feel understood, loved and safe. He NEVER purred or meowed (why would he need to meow when he didnt speak to humans?) but now he does. He lives on the streets of a neighbourhood with rough folk. He used to draw blood and go rabid on my arms. But I was patient and showed him that I understood his reasons but that he was safe with me and had no need to strike out. I never pushed his boundaries let alone doing it multiple times (the rl angel I know is fucking skilled at pushing cat’s boundaries and wonders why they all huddle up to me and avoid her lol). Husk is an unavailable man. Romantic/Sexual love does NOT heal his wounds. But thats the only thought fans and the team have given on his side. He needs love to ‘fix’ him. The WORST reason to get with someone. Theyre not a project and you arent a fucking miracle worker. Treat them as an equal. He needs a good friend. JUST a friend. Like Big, he needs patience, trust, understanding, and extensive help (arguably more intense than Angel’s). He needs to love himself a bit more FIRST. Someone who respects his boundaries INSTANTLY. Someone relatable and similar, open to love not just sex and not as troubled (if they are, they need to handle it way better, healthily and overall be in a good mindspace). Viv can ship whatever the fuck tickles her fancy, but once your passion project becomes public and funded, you have set responsibilities on how to address and handle sensitive issues as well as having to accept criticism. If Husk goes sober in the name of love (ESPECIALLY with the guy not respecting his boundaries and sexually harassing him), then it’s a fucking INSULT to alcoholics. I know a few rl Husks but there’s one that anyone who knows me enough knows the man I hold closest to my heart was an alcoholic and spitting of Husk. That’s why Husk’s character means so much to me. But there’s only 2 here who know a bit more of this man. This is something Id hoped to not share so soon, nor as messy. And Im already getting waterworks because this is FAR from easy. I guess Husk became the very thing *I* needed in order to face this. This man was my grandfather. WAS. I cant even fucking accept that. I was a fucking child. I feel stupid being so open about this over some stupid cartoon but it just shows the real life effects this has on REAL fucking people. This man was old and lonely. Always at the pubs. He taught me card games, card tricks and card magic as well as one of his own sons dealing with a gambling addiction. I feel so fucking stupid crying about this- I dont want to open up but its the only way I feel I can get people to understand my side in all of this. This man was a fucking MESS. A closed off, lonely, grumpy old bastard. He lost his love because of his alcohol addiction and never found love again. Never got over that woman. (Shes still kicking and we’re close - im keeping some things under wraps between them as its not my place). Gave up on life and love. Worked hard at his fixation on cards and puzzles, as well as crass jokes and knowledge. But he was very lazy otherwise. Bitter and angry. And you know what? He was my world. I love this man with every fiber of my being because he was the first person to love and accept me for me. He treated me as an equal and helped me grow as a person. In fact... He was only ever happy around us kids. He had hope again. Protected me. He used to hate gays and blacks and you know what? He taught HIMSELF as to why that was shitty thinking. He taught ME about differences in people and to accept it. He taught me that you dont always have to understand to accept. He taught me poker and... swears admittedly. He was a beautiful soul that was broken inside. He needed to love himself. But you know what actually fucking happened? You know what I watched as a kid? I watched as he smoked until every morning he woke throwing up phlegm just to BREATHE. I watched as sometimes the light in his eyes died and through smoke breaks and early drinking how he’d sometimes slip and show me his pain. And we’d have deep talks about it and the world and everything. How alcohol ruined his life yet he craved it. His scent. I remember arguments I wasnt supposed to overhear and growing up seeing him fucking DIE slowly in a hospital bed. The man he was ended up as a fucking husk. His skin was bloated and purple, he was half machine on how much shit he was hooked up to. How he was barely a man at all. He was dying of cancer and he fucking knew and never told us. His cancer meds gave him horrid hallucinations. And I practically spent most of my time in that hospital because TWO people had cancer. Two stunning people had fucking stupid bastard cancer. He was a fuck up. He was flawed to shit. But seeing glimpses of the real him was a fucking ethereal experience. He made me feel like a PERSON. And all we could do in the end was watch him just die. He WANTED to die and you could see it but hed only eat around us to fake fight out of his own hubris and not wanting to let us down. That year, I watched 2 of the only people who ever gave a shit about me die the most dishonourable deaths God could have gave them. Years prior I watched his son gamble EVERYTHING away - his lover, his house, his everything. Hes a moderate gambler now with a partner who never had a history of any addiction. She helps keep him in line as he helps her. But most nights I fucking dream of this shit. I cant even think about my hero because I fucking weep. I still have nightmares. Im still up thinking how I could have saved him from himself when it’s him who was the only one able to. I have to live my life with those memories and I was just a kid. Im a full woman and Im still haunted by it. Even that year is blasphemy and I fucking hate it. I want to take him in my arms, hold him and tell him he’s enough. That its ok and he can get through this. Anything that reminds me of him, I love because I know the other side. The real side. The side not tethered to vices. When I see people like that, I pray they see themselves like that too and I want to help them see it. Tell them that they can live again. It’s better than fucking decaying in a hospital bed. That when people make this sorta shit into a cute quirk it’s not. And it’s dickheads like me who have actually seen it play in the real world to REAL people they love. They arent a fucking accessory to fix for your own narrative. They arent a fuckin performing monkey. At least with Rick and Morty it’s kinda humorous and never played for some shitty toxic ship to appeal to everyone who’s never had to face that shit themselves. And Im like my old man but with more hope and no addiction. I drink and I gamble but I’ll never let myself get that low. Because I honour him but Im not as fucking saft. I wont allow it even though it’s a fucking battle. Those addictions are in the blood. My family history. Its always been so fucking normal. I’ll never knock someone for an addiction or try to preach them out of it because theres often pain fueling it, but I’d never encourage it or toxic faux cures and stupid romance promises as some bullshit MLM remedy either. I KNOW it’s fiction but I want people to see the real side. I want VIV to see the real side. Id willingly for FREE fucking sing that shit if it meant spreading a good message. Because this is fucking hell. FIXING IT: The ship’s basis is too set in stone now - too familiar to change. Best is to never let it be canon. Because you know what else it teaches? That rOmAnCe cures all. Not therapy. Not rehab. Not any REAL work. Just fuck and date it all away as if it’s that easy. It’s a mockery! I tried to be professional about this but when the media bombards this shit constantly, the has the AUDACITY to play like it’s giving a good message is salt to the wounds. A kiss with a fist. An old man dont care for the petty teen drama that Angel and Cherri (even fuckin Al) thrive on. Want this to send a good message still? Angel hates rejection and thinks everyone wants him. Have Husk reject him. Especially because no one should go out with someone whos sexually harassed them there. Been there, done that got the fuckin tshirt. Have Husk reject Angel the way Gravity Falls has Wendy reject Dipper. It helped Dipper move on and mature, and this is what Angel needs for growth and to be more humble. Husk would be a fucking excellent mentor to Angel, a friend and protector, someone who shows him the ropes like Grunkle Stan like a grandfather figure. To not fall for his mistakes. Husk would be a better expert than any of them plus it balances the power dynamtic. It’s healthy and realistic. Touches the topic with the sensitivity it needs. Not everything needs a ship or romance. Wounds healed that way dont stay healed long. Angel seems more fitting as a son like figure, and he can play that dad like role for him. And if any of the team EVER saw this, fucking take this idea. Its YOURS. FREE. FOREVER. If we wanna play this NDA but still reblog some of the story telling arts and have some of our team indulge in it. I wont sue. Fucking TAKE IT if it means doing this shit right because Spindlehorse have beautifully triggered so many different people and their different traumas to please teenagers sexual fantasies, their own kinks and for a jolly good joke. This is a bastard long read and Ive had to face the traumas again but if good can come from it then I’ll GLADLY dance this duet again. Stans, Antis, dont even TEMPT interaction. You arent brave sending suicide threats behind a screen, youre a coward and a waste of oxygen. I WANT Hazbin and Helluva to succeed. I want Viv and her crew to do well. Trust me, I wouldnt waste my time if I didnt give a shit. Viv is fucking gifted and its being wasted if it’s not at her full potential for the approval of a rabid army of kids and immature adults who dont know any better (stans and antis). I know she would like a good and decent fanbase. Stans and antis arent it. Tagging you folks because it’s long but yall actually helped me have the courage to open my trap to this. Screenshots are coming later though all of what Ive said is easily sourced. But this has been days, Im sick, im tired, ive been upset facing my own traumas. If any tags wanna help then by all means but otherwise. @honesthazbinarchives, @siaesnow (also added age still bc despite the lack of physical aging, theres also the mental aspect and experiences as well as power dynamics side to it, in case youre wondering), @noirellearts, @enchantedchocolatebars, @galemalio (thank you for letting me weep like a bitch), @angel-blitz, @critical-hazbin, @what-the-hazbin, @hazboobhotel, @pineapple-critiques-stuff, @devils-advocutie, SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A LIL BITCH FOLKS, I feel awkward like my teen years but yeah- fuck it Im old and imma rot soon anyways. If this experience can help then Ill be glad.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin critical #anti huskerdust sorry folks #vivienne medrano #criticism #toxic relationships in fiction #how fiction impacts the real world #yeah im a wimp who cares?#hazbin needs to change for the better #concerned fan #dont be another yandev #dont be another yansim #stans and antis dni #stans and antis will be blocked and reported #hope this gives justice to my hero about the rl effects of addiction #rest easy Kiddas got this #still shitting myself #read more wont work sorry

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nanami-says · 4 years ago

Text

Part IV (3/5): Chapters 40~44

Chapter 40

[Mai to Miwa]

“Maki? She’s worthless”

She actually calls her “just a small fry” here. Which imo is more dismissive than just outright derogatory like in the official release.

“An iai technique huh? That’s strange. I have the advantage in terms of reach. She’s probably looking to disarm my cursed tool and create an opening.”

⇒”An iai [technique], huh? On top of that there seems to be some trick to it. With our difference in reach… rather than myself, she’s probably looking(...)”

Not mistranslated per se other than the “there seems to be a trick to it” line, which imo shouldn’t have been simplified to just “that’s strange”. But the original showed Maki’s thought process better.

“She broke it with her leg? Why is she negating her reach advantage.”

⇒ ”She broke it?? With her thigh?? You’re getting rid of your reach advantage here??”

Again, the meaning was all there but some of the characterisation was lost. Miwa sounded so frantic and full of disbelief here, haha.

[After Mei states that Maki should get promoted at least 2 ranks ASAP]

“I agree but her family seems to be getting in the way”

⇒ “I think so too, but you know, the Zen’ins keep getting in the way. It stinks, right”

More casual speech overall in the original, also Gojou’s more colourful language got a cut again.

MM:“Heh… I don’t understand connections not based on money”

G:“And you’ll always be a cheapskate.”

I get why they went with “cheapskate” here, as the word Gojou originally uses would be accurately translated as “miser”, which’s the kind of word most people would have to check in the dictionary. (I know I had to.) Nevertheless it’s interesting to me how Gojou basically alternates between super casual speech and much less common terms like this one. He seems to like wordplays in general?

“Anyway, I can’t help but notice the video feed around Yuji seems to be a little inconsistent”

⇒ “Leaving that aside, the video around Yuuji keeps on cutting off for a while now, no?”

Again, meaning is there, the characterisation - sort of I suppose? But he was being more casual/straight to the point in the original.

[In reply to Gojou’s question whose side she’s on]

“Whose side? I’m on the side with money, of course. There’s no value in something that can’t be bought since you can’t exchange it for money.”

“Which side? I’m an ally of money, of course. Because there’s no value in things that cannot be exchanged for money. For you see, it cannot be exchanged for money."

I know it sounds like she’s repeating herself but that’s because she actually is. She’s literally saying that there’s no value in something that can’t be turned into money PRECISELY BECAUSE it can’t be turned into money lol. Also, imo “on the side with money” kind of muddled the nuance a bit. Other possible translations for "exchange" include "replace", ”turn into”.

Gojou in reply to above.

“I wonder how much!”

Actually closer to, “[I wonder] how much did you pile up”. The actual phrase is just “just how much did (...) pile up/stock”, so you have to supply the subject by yourself.

“I’m not sure what you guys have planned but Yuji’s different now”

⇒ “I don’t know what you’re scheming but Yuuji won’t be killed so easily anymore”

Again, the basic meaning is there but a lot of subtler nuance got lost.

(jp)

[Explanation on how the school can tell which side exorcised which curses during the competition]

“Talismans are placed on curses released in the area. When a curse is exorcised, the corresponding talisman also disappears. Using cursed energy, we’ve made arrangements for the following -- exorcisms made by the Tokyo school will be indicated with a red flame, while Kyoto’s will be blue. Maki is also participating, so we’ve made sure her exorcisms are marked red as well.”

When I read this for the first time in English, I found this explanation rather unclear. No wonder I did, as it omits vital details such as the original mentioning "recording cursed energy in advance" which imo seems to be pointing to them registering samples of all students' energy.

And then the Maki line adds that since Maki is there too, exorcisms performed by UNRECORDED forces will be marked red as well. And that's why later on the teachers weren't able to immediately discern whether the sudden destruction of curses was done by an outsider or not.

“All those one-on-ones. Did they forget the main objective?”

⇒“(...) Everyone’s waaay too disinterested in the game.”

“Main objective” sounds kinda formal and imo that wasn’t the nuance for the line.

[Nobara to Nishimiya]

“Got down here, you stupid witch!!”

Actually “you shitty witch”. Nanami would be proud ;;

“How dare you hit my sacred face.”

I like their take on this but it’s hilarious in the original because the word she uses literally means “your countenance”, as in you’d normally use it to respectfully refer to someone else’s face, definitely not about your own. And then she adds a “go-” prefix, which further ups the level of reverence haha.

“A scar on the face can be a good thing for guys. But not for girls.”

Not really a mistranslation, but I love the original wording with its juxtaposition of a scar on the face being likened to an "order" for a man and a "blemish"/"defect" for a woman. It adds so much more depth to the line.

[Nishimiya after she points out how unfair the jujutsu world is towards women compared to men]

“And Mai has to deal with even more discrimination than that”

Actually something closer to ”irrationality”, “unreasonableness”, “unfairness”, “derision”. Discrimination was the translators’ interpretation of that, I suppose.

Chapter 41

[About Inumaki’s technique]

“Cursed speech is words with spirit. Essentially, it’s infusing sound with cursed energy”

...They translated it the other way around (“the spirit of words”) in ch. 33… Needless to say, this is still the same technique and still the very same term being used. I’d be leaning towards the more commonly used translation of “the spirit of language”.

“However if you’re not sure it’s coming… you’ll be in a constant state of unease. Protecting your head is difficult as it is”

⇒ “On the other hand, if you don’t know if it’s coming or not, you’re constantly distracted. Even though protecting the inside of my head is already something I’m not used to doing”

Not really mistranslated but I wanted to propose an alternate translation, especially for the second part.

“Inheriting the Zen’in family cursed technique is reserved for the privileged. Every other jujutsu sorcerer starts at a level much further below. And even within their family, some women aren’t treated equally.”

⇒ “Unless you inherit the Zen'in family's cursed technique, you start out as a sorcerer from a losing position. And for women, some of them are not even allowed to stand on that starting line"

Just an overall different meaning for the whole fragment. After all, it’s not like you can control who will inherit what technique, even if you’re from one of the three big families. Also it was about women being discriminated on a more fundamental level.

“Can someone who thinks that curse Yuji is an ally really understand?”

⇒ “How about you try thinking hard with that head of yours that can even mistake [that] curse for a comrade?”

Written with “Itadori-kun”, read as “[the] curse” - there’s no reason for Nishimiya to call him “Yuji”. Also she actually says 仲間/nakama here, which, as I stated before, I personally prefer to translate as “comrade” in the context of jjk. The official release seems to alternate between “ally” and “friend”, which are rather distant terms imo. I’m not sure either what’s their basis for when they go with “ally” because they also used it when Gojou was talking about raising a future generation of strong and bright comrades in ch. 11 (refer to part II).

[Nobara in response to above]

“Does that mean we have to forgive the unfortunate no matter the circumstances? And if someone is blessed with a fortunate life, do they deserve to be ridiculed?”

⇒ ”So if someone’s unfortunate, they’re free to do whatever they want? Then what? If in turn a person is [more] fortunate, you’re not gonna be satisfied unless you can talk behind their back?”

In the original Nobara speaks in shorter sentences and uses rather simple language, which imo really conveys how angry she is about Nishimiya’s words. It wasn’t really a philosophical conversation.

“Have any of you ever stopped to consider the person behind the curse you’ve condemned?”

⇒ “And have you people even thought what kind of a person the idiot that you’re trying to curse [from now] is?”

Not “condemn as a curse” but “that you people are cursing”! Huge distinction imo.

“What do I care about whether someone’s perfect or if something’s fair? Is your life just a job?”

⇒ “Are you obliged to stand up to [things like] ‘perfection’ or ‘unfairness’? (...)”

Lit. “where’s the obligation to live up to”. Emphasis mine! Nobara wasn’t saying she doesn’t care whether someone is perfect or not, imo the nuance was more that there’s no need to force yourself to try and meet people’s expectations/standards.

“Boys versus girls? Give me a break! Just shut the hell up! I love dressing up and being beautiful! I love being strong!”

⇒ “Boys this, girls that? I don’t give a damn! Just do it all by yourselves if you wish! I love myself who dresses up beautifully! I love myself who [always] strives to be strong!”

I know fandom loves the “I love being beautiful! I love being strong” line - it definitely is short and impactful! But I actually really like the nuance that “strive to be/remain strong” has because it implies Nobara’s constantly putting in effort to improve herself and get stronger. Also the nuance of “I love myself who’s all those things [and more]” (emphasis mine) rather than simply “I love being those things”/“I love the act of”, even though to an English speaker the former may sound a bit awkward.

[Mai saying she can’t contact Mechamaru after his fight]

“It’s not a good sign if he was forced to use his finishing move and this is the end result.”

⇒ “If it’s like that [that we can’t contact him] despite him being forced into a corner to the point of having to use his finishing move, then he’s probably lost”

This was Mai speculating Mechamaru has most likely lost if they can’t contact him despite him having used his special move.

“I need you”

⇒ “If you’re not here, we’re in trouble”

Rather than Mai needing her personally, this was her reiterating Nishimiya’s importance to the team. (Same phrasing as in ch. 35.)

Chapter 42

[About Maki and her family]

Y:“But why wouldn’t they want someone so strong?”

N:“They don’t wanna accept someone they’ve already rejected. They’re stupid that way”

⇒Y: “Wouldn’t a jujutsu family welcome a strong sorcerer with open arms?”

N:“(...) Because they’re stupid/idiots.”

Slightly more informative for Yuuji’s line in the original imo. Let’s not forget that Yuuji’s still super new to the jujutsu world, so he’s not really familiar with its inner workings. Imo this line had such a nuance.

“So we have to win this event. You better put your life on the line!”

Not incorrect as much as it's just so much funnier in the original because she tells him to put enough effort to die one more time lol (emphasis mine).

[Maki to Tokyo team, telling them to focus on the competition rather trying to make her look good]

“Don't’ worry about me”

⇒ “Don’t think about unnecessary stuff”

Imo this showed Maki’s personality better.

[Mai to Maki, in her head]

“You thought you could get the jump on me? While keeping your distance as well?”

⇒ “So what if you’re in my blind spot. Aren’t you dumb to put distance between us”

This was more about it being advantageous for Mai, a gun being her weapon, if Maki gets farther away from her.

“I knew it! Maki has something I don’t”

⇒ “I knew it… Maki has a talent I don’t have”

How a single exclamation mark can completely change the meaning of a whole line. Yes, it is “I knew it” but as in “I understood it”, “I felt it”. It’s not some revelation about the fight itself, it’s the beginning to Mai’s retrospection about herself and Maki and their approaches to life that follows after. Also, it literally says “talent” there, not to mention the line gets repeated word for word at the end of the same chapter for emphasis before the conclusion is given to Mai’s musings. (Gege seems to like this particular trick a lot, huh?)

”Did you hear about the daughter of the Ougi?"

Hmm, I tried googling the phrase with “Ougi” in it just to check if it can have some hidden meaning but found out even Japanese fans weren’t sure about the exact meaning of the word. Probably a name, either of a person or of a place.

[Mai thinking about Maki]

“You were always so carefree. I hated it. You just kept moving fearlessly forward into the future”

⇒ “I hated how you were always boldly pushing your way towards the future as if you had no worries/unease”

Imo a slightly different nuance for this line (which’s just a single sentence). “I hated how” could also be “I hated you for” and other translations for “pushing your way to” include “plunging forward”, “pushing on”.

(jp)

[About Mai’s cursed technique]

“Unlike creating an object inside a domain, objects created with cursed technique: construction will not disappear after the spell is finished. However, an immense amount of cursed energy is used, which has a harsh effect on the body”

⇒ “Unlike materialisation of an innate domain within the barrier that occurs in ‘domain expansion’, objects once created with Construction Technique will not disappear even after the technique has finished. That’s why(...)”

Ever wondered why domain and domain expansion related stuff is impossible to understand? Well, here’s why. They only left “inside a domain” out of the whole explanation... “Materialisation” was actually “realisation” but I thought the former would be easier to understand. Also it literally says only “realisation of an innate domain” but imo it could be also interpreted as “inner domain and things within in”.

(jp)

“Maki has something I don’t. Kinda like Mechamaru’s Heavenly Restriction but the opposite. You were supposed to be born with a cursed technique but you traded that in for superhuman physical abilities. This skill was shunned by the Zen’in family. And it’s an ability I don’t have.”

⇒ “Maki has a talent I don’t have. (...) A talent which didn’t get appreciated in the Zen’in family and which I didn’t possess”

Like I pointed out earlier, this is the conclusion to Mai’s retrospection about herself and Maki and some of its effect was, in the original, achieved by repeating the line about Maki’s talent that Mai didn’t have, and by further expanding on it here.

Chapter 43

[About Kamo’s attack]

“A trace of blood on the arrow fletching. Like I thought, Kamo’s technique defies physics”

⇒ "The physics defying trajectory [of the arrow] was because of Kamo-san's cursed technique after all"

More informative in the original, I’d say. The arrows themselves are (and look) normal, hence double the wham i suppose?

[Megumi about Kamo’s Blood Manipulation Technique]

“The ability to control whatever touches his blood”

⇒ "The ability to control his own blood and whatever is stained with it"

Why would they skip the "the blood itself" bit…

[Kamo about Megumi’s Ten Shadows Technique”

“A cursed technique passed down in the Zen’in family”

Just to be clear, it’s actually specified here that it’s “one of the techniques”.

[Kamo about his technique]

“I can manipulate blood beyond its form or motion”

Once again sounds a bit like a more general explanation. “To manipulate blood means (...)”.

[After Megumi calls him out on doping]

“Very good. Although I don’t appreciate the negative connotation”

⇒ “But I’d prefer if you stopped with the vulgar phrasing”

Simpler, more direct language here.

[After Maki’s taken off with Miwa’s sword in tow]

“Mai’s sister is gone. Well, that makes sense. I’m useless without my sword”

⇒ “Mai’s older sister has gone somewhere. Well, it was a correct call as I can’t fight without my sword”

The phrase used here that got translated as “I’m useless” while can indeed mean something similar has the nuance of “to not be useful [in battle]” . So although it’s not incorrect per se, I’m not sure if I’d go with “useless” myself, especially because it comes with tandem with “correct call”/”good decision” wording. She DOES literally say she’s useless later on though.

“We’re a little disorganized after all”

Not incorrect per se but imo the original line might’ve had the nuance of “we’re not monolithic [as an organisation]”.

“Use this scent and whistle to control it. If you can, make it kill Itadori”

⇒ “This scent and whistle were used to train him [this cursed spirit]. If a chance arises, use it well and kill Itadori”

I’m not sure if this can be interpreted as it being JUST the curse itself that’ll do all the work.

Chapter 44

“- Why does everyone torment mother?

- Because she’s a broken mistress”

Closer to “dissolute”, I think. Also the word used for “mistress” can also mean “concubine” and “kept woman” but it’s apparently also an old expression for “close female servant”. It’s hard to say which it could have been without more context but it’d actually make a lot of sense if it was the last one, especially given the fact how Kamo is one of the olden jujutsu families, and very traditional at that.

“Then why do you favour me? Why did you deceive me into becoming a heir”

⇒ “(...)Then why did you take me in and lie about me being a heir”

I may be wrong but it doesn’t sound like they deceived Kamo himself but rather, everyone else. The word used also means “falsify”. “Favour” here is the same word as for “patronage”, btw.

“Then as the heir to the head of the Kamo family(...)”

It’s just “the next head” here, possibly an allusion to his plans for /after/ he becomes the clan head.

[After Kamo praises his growth as a sorcerer]

“Why are you acting all familiar with me?’

⇒ “What’s with this sense of comradeship you keep on showing?”

Not incorrect per se but I found the phrase he used interesting. Also means “fellowship”.

“I intend to kill Yuji Itadori”

“By principal Gakuganji’s order?”

“No, this is my decision.”

⇒ (...) “No, this is my personal/individual judgement.”

Emphasis Gege’s. The word does mean “decision” as well but imo “judgement” (as in “call”) fits better here.

“As a member of the Kamo and the big three families, I believe it is the right decision. You should also understand it. (I must play the part of the heir to the Kamo family)”

⇒ “(...) I consider it a correct call. It’s something you should be able to understand as well. (I must conduct myself as is appropriate for the heir of the Kamo family)

Lit. “think it’s(...)” for the first bit. Imo “you should also understand” could imply that Kamo’s trying to convince Megumi here but in the original it’s more him appealing to the common understanding he feels must already exist between them because of their similar positions within their respective families. Also, wording his inner thoughts as “must play the part” was imo giving off a wrong impression.

Cont. from above

“You and I are the same”

Not wrong but the original has the connotation of “the same kind”.

“He’s saying some scary stuff”

Skipped “all of sudden" here.

(jp)

“(I’ve never thought of myself as doing the right thing.) Actually, I’m sorry. I don’t care if I’m right or wrong. I only believe in my conscience. I will follow my conscience and save people. If you disagree with that then, let’s agree to curse each other.”

⇒ ”(...) No, I’m sorry, that is incorrect. It’s just that I believe/have faith in my own conscience. I will help/save people the way my conscience tells me. So if you’ve denied that, then there’s nothing left but to curse each other.”

Again, like in ch. 9 (refer to part I), the nuance here was actually that Megumi will save people BASED on his conscience. Here it’s literally “I will save people according to my conscience” (emphasis mine), which imo heavily implies that he will choose which people to save, as had already been indicated in ch. 9 as well. This is a huge distinction from the way he’s been (mis)portrayed in the official release as just wanting to save people because that’s what his conscience says or because he thinks that’s the right thing to do. (That’s Yuuji). Also, the way they phrased it as basically “let’s agree to disagree” was imo way too mild. And it wasn’t just “if you disagree” but “if you contradict/negate/renounce”.

“A shikigami! It was still around?!”

Not sure but given the context it might’ve meant “so he still had some left” instead.

Cont. on next page

“He used a wounded shikigami as a decoy!”

⇒ “He used a shikigami at the verge of being called off as a decoy!”

“This uses too much cursed energy, so I can only summon it once”

⇒ “This eats a lot of cursed energy so I can only summon it solo”

Lit. “a shikigami before the release/dissolution” for the first one. Coupled with Megumi’s reply, which was “as a stand alone” instead of “only once”, imo the whole thing meant that Megumi called the frog off intentionally.

[Megumi about the elephant shikigami]

“It only recently surrendered to me.”

⇒ “I’ve only exorcised it very recently”

Seems like they confused “to exorcise” (調伏) for “to surrender” (降伏)...The word he uses here is the former, it also means “to unwish”!

Btw, “surrender” is actually used later in the manga when Getou’s curse manipulation is discussed in the Gojou’s Past arc (ch. 73).. So to me there definitely seems to be a distinction between those two terms and which techniques they apply to.

[to part iv (4/5)]

#jujutsu kaisen #jjktranslation #jjk #jjk translation #jujutsukaisen

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arcticdementor · 3 years ago

Link

I’ll be transcribing select podcasts from now on. The one I recently did with Misha Saul had a lot of great insights, so I thought it was a good place to start.

It’s been lightly edited to make it more clear and legible, and sometimes for grammar, while maintaining the general ideas.

…

Richard has hit the spotlight in a big way over the last year – he’s been on Tucker Carlson and is increasingly known for his iconoclastic style. His podcast is excellent, and his essay drawing out the mechanism for how Wokeism grew out of the Civil Rights Act in the US has made waves.

This conversation picks up on a strand that I’ve been thinking a lot about. Diana Fleischman in my conversation with her said: Institutions are increasingly reflecting the values of middle-aged women. Tyler Cowen often writes about the feminization of society at Marginal Revolution. No one, as far as I’m aware, has really buttoned down what that means and what it looks like.

I don’t think that’s quite what we do here.

It’s a pretty free-flowing exploratory conversation about what we might call the feminization of society. What do we mean when we talk about it? Where can we see it? What are its benefits and derangements? We have a crack at the subject, anyway. Think of this as an experiment in chatting through some observations, live.

…

Richard: Sure. This is going to be a very American-centric analysis because it goes back to American history and American law but a lot of Americans don’t actually know this story. A lot of liberals have this idea of the Civil Rights Act… there used to be racism, they still think there is racism, but there used to be official state-sanctioned racism, Jim Crow, private businesses would discriminate against blacks and women to a lesser extent, or the same extent in some people’s minds. Then you pass the law of the Civil Rights Act and things got better. And a lot of Republican politicians, those doing the most superficial kind of analysis, don’t have much of a different story than that. They just think that “whatever, now the wokeness has come and now maybe it’s something a different and that’s a problem.” And they’ll throw in “oh and by the way, those who opposed the civil rights were Democrats." They try and claim the mantle for the civil rights movement for the Republicans, which is nonsense because a lot of those people left and became Republicans specifically over that issue, and a lot of their voters left the party. So it’s really a nonsense narrative they try and throw back at them.

It says you can’t discriminate in government and you can’t discriminate in private business. And most people at the time thought that basically meant you couldn’t put up a sign that says no black people. Even the gender thing they say was added as a joke actually. Somebody was trying to kill the bill, they didn’t want the racial equality parts. They said, “it would be so absurd to have a society where you didn’t discriminate based on sex” so they put sex in there hoping to kill the bill. And it ended up passing. I’m not 100% sure, I was told this by a law professor at the University of Chicago, so it’s not like I read it on Twitter somewhere. It’s credible though I haven’t looked into it.

Misha: American politics is basically a rerun of the producers, like hilarious accidents that keep escalating forever.

Richard: Right. So what does not discriminating mean? It wasn’t long after that that the phrase affirmative action comes along. It comes along in a series of executive orders. Government contractors first under Kennedy and then LBJ in the 1960s. Under Nixon for the entire federal government. Basically it said that the government would have to keep racial and gender statistics and make sure there weren’t any disparities between groups. You also had development of these other legal doctrines developed from the Civil Rights Act which includes a hostile work environment, sexual harassment law, stuff like that.

And lots of people have raised questions about free speech: If I think men and women are different and I’m in a private business and I want to say that, that’s of questionable legality… mainstream conservative views on things. They went after a lot of companies for this. There were some major corporations, I think Mitsubishi was one, they ended up paying a lot of money to the government, that made examples out of certain places.

Another doctrine, which was invented by a combination of the courts and executive agencies, is disparate impact. So if you give standardized tests, Grigg vs. Duke Power Company, this was a case early after the Civil Rights Act. It said if you give an IQ test and it has a disparate impact between groups… you can still use it but it’s a little complicated, it has to be related to the work, but it becomes harder. Everything you do that has a racial disparate impact, and by the way everything in the world has a racial disparate impact, if you find something that doesn’t I’ll be surprised, they can come after you for it either through the government directly coming after you or through people suing you.

So what happened? What happened starting in the 1960s is you see the growth of this human resources industry. You can just look at the chart of the number of human resource workers in the US going through the roof. Now if you had just said quotas, hire this many blacks, this many women, that would have been simple. You wouldn’t need a full-time bureaucracy to do that. The fact that it was vague and there were potentially substantial penalties sort of put business on edge. You needed a full-time bureaucratic class to interpret the laws and what was going on.

So the DEI industry is derived off of the rise of human resources. So you know, the way people see woke institutions today, “well they’re just deciding to be woke, there’s just a class of people deciding to take the leftwing issue on anything related to race and gender,” and some of that is obviously right. But you’re ignoring that basically legally you’re only allowed to be on one side of the culture wars. You’re not really allowed to say… if you’re a government contractor you can’t say “I don’t want to count my employees by race or gender. I don’t want to collect that data. I don’t want to take affirmative action to help black people or women out, I believe in a colorblind policy.” Mainstream conservative views, conservatives believe this stuff, it’s not legal. Conservatism is illegal for a lot of institutions. Not everything is covered but huge portions: the federal government, government contractors, subcontractors, it covers a huge portion of the private and public sectors.

And then it filters down, you have these big corporations and other people sort of follow them. And then you have these norms that apply to everyone. Courts will look at best practices, saying “Oh, discrimination is wrong, what are the best practices in the industry? What are people doing to fight discrimination?” And if that’s Robin DiAngelo at one point in time, you start to worry if you don’t have Robin DiAngelo coming to give speeches you might get in trouble. Not specifically Robin DiAngelo, but you get the idea. You have these intellectual fads that come and go and everyone’s jumping on the same train because it’s necessary.

…

But anyway, let’s get back to the feminization issue. I think this is a discussion that can easily devolve into two cranks kind of sounding conspiratorial and bitter. The one place outside this conversation that’s been steadily beating the drum of this thing has been Tyler Cowen on his blog Marginal Revolution. I think we can generally be quite normatively neutral around this trend, it’s not necessarily a good or bad thing, but if you go to Marginal Revolution and search “feminization,” you notice that it does pop up quite periodically.

For example, one thing that Tyler Cowen recently said, and I’ll quote: “one thing the contemporary world definitely has not come to terms with is how much a highly feminized culture will be rather strongly enforcing new forms of discrimination, albeit cloaked under different and rhetorically emancipatory principles.” I think last year or the year before Tyler Cowen said “the feminization of our culture is for me, trend #1,” noting that basically all the top ten selling books had female protagonists and seven were authored by women. And I think you can go through different professions, education and other institutions, over the past 50 years, and I guess it’s not surprising since the kind of increased participation of women in the workforce and democratic process, you’d kind of expect our cultural and institutions to change. But I guess this is what I wanted to spend today talking about, when you kind of took the piss out of DiAngelo and just said “this is just estrogen and mental illness.” Let’s talk about what has happened in our culture, what does feminization mean?

Richard: Well, I think it means a lot. It’s a broad topic. I think what Cowen is referring to is, you have men and women, and men and women deal with conflict and challenges in different ways. We as a society are leaning more towards doing things in the feminized way rather than a more masculine way. Robin DiAngelo is just a great example of this. I mentioned the human resources industry. I also have a chart in my Substack that shows the changing demographics over time, shows something like 60-70% female. So this idea that you have problems with people and then you talk to them about it and you talk to them not for say, an instrumental purpose, “we’re going to work something out,” but talking is a reward in and of itself. You need something, you need to re-establish the relationship, you need to feel heard, feel validated. This is a very feminine thing.

So you have these protestors at universities, and it’s funny because you look at identity politics in the past, anti-colonization or something. It’s just “we want to get the occupiers out of our country, we want to fight them, we want to have our own society” it’s a kind of masculine idea. And you now have these sort of identity politics where it’s like “hire more diversity counselors and have them talk to the people who are mean to us forever.” It’s a very strange thing compared to what identity politics was 30, 40, 50 years ago. It’s a sort of nationalism, a tribalism, an us vs. them that’s there in every society. But it’s morphed into something different.

So DiAngelo, the rise of human resources, even things like how we understand cost-benefit analysis. I think Safetysim is a more female way of looking at things. Bryan Caplan in his book The Myth of the Rational Voters has a few predictors of thinking more like an economist, and one of them is being male rather than female.

…

Richard: Well, if you go to the places where it’s most purely about consumer preferences, just walk though the girls section in the toy store… now they announce there’s no girls section or boys section, but they’ll have one isle that’s all cars and one isle that's all dolls. I was at Target not long ago just looking at the dolls and the Barbies, now they’re in different colors, black, brown, and they have careers, doctor Barbie, astronaut Barbie. I didn’t see a fat Barbie, I didn’t see a trans Barbie, I didn’t see a bald-headed Barbie, I didn’t see a tattooed Barbie…

Misha: Not now, but every joke becomes a reality.

…

Richard: I think things like anxiety, feelings of inadequacy, these things are higher in women. Neuroticism, I think these things are clearly… everyone sort of understands that. Especially the way we talk about things like mental health. Simone Biles… the idea that she quit right before a match, a meeting? A game? Whatever they call it?

Misha: An Olympics thing? A sports thing? We’re the wrong guys here. And she says she doesn’t want to do it anymore?

Richard: Anyway, there’s some kind of competition which she quit. And it’s not about her specifically, it’s about the media reaction which is that this is more heroic than if she would have won.

Misha: The quote in The New Yorker, I think it is, “her radical courage.” It’s deranged! To your point, even the best have blowups and absolutely no judgment, whatever. It’s the cultural reaction to it that is totally hilarious and idiotic.

Richard: Even stuff like therapy, the rise of mental health discourse. If you watch some normal TV shows, it’s amazing how everyone has a therapist. It’s seen as everyone has these problems they gotta work through, and the idea of it is that everyone is walking around damaged. I’m not going to say that’s normal for males or females. But we are tilting towards… it’s closer to the female norm than the male norm. There’s a minority of women who are very anxious and go through life feeling a lot of pain, and even for all our so-called gender equality, there’s still an idea that it’s much more socially acceptable for women to complain about things; for women to cry about things is much more socially acceptable than men.

So women tend to have these negative emotions at higher rates and it’s more acceptable for them to express negative emotions, so what happens is female concerns are overrepresented in the things we talk about. Not even all female concerns, I mean it’s very specific. Elizabeth Bruenig, this is a Washington Post writer for those who don’t pay attention, I think she just wrote some article that said “I became a mom at a young age and this made me happy,” that was the whole article. And every person on Twitter lost their mind and said it’s white supremacy or something. So it’s not the women like Elizabeth Bruenig, though she is a columnist and has a voice, she’s not representative of her class. It tends to be single, urbanized, less connected to family or marriage or a committed relationship. Those people talk the most and they tend to go into journalism and academia. They tend to have a disproportionate influence. This isn’t just women who have influence, but is true of human beings in general and who ends up mattering and having influence. The prominence we give to mental health and the way we talk about it are both signs of feminization.

…

Richard: To go back to what you said about whether it’s an American thing, I don't have much experience traveling overseas. I did a semester abroad in Russia when I was an undergrad, that was about 10 years ago, around 2008-2009.

Misha: That’s awesome, where did you go in Russia?

Richard: St. Petersburg.

Misha: Cool! How’s your Russian?

Richard: Not very good. I have a minor in it but it’s been 12 years so I barely know anything.

So I was there, and I saw Tyler Cowen say this: the gender dimorphism is very high there. I didn’t see any women with short hair. I didn't see any women with sweatpants or anything like that. I traveled a bit in Europe and I think it’s the same way. ‘Letting yourself go’ as a woman is more of an American thing. I don’t know if it’s an Anglo thing, you can tell me about Australia, but it’s sort of like… some women have gotten in their heads the idea that to appeal to a man is somehow sexist or wrong. But it’s human nature, men want to appeal to women and women want to appeal to men.

Misha: Yeah, but you can have an argument that’s regressive and that’s reflective of traditionalist values, that’s basically behind rather than an alternative. I know they look at the anglosphere and see everyone as totally deranged. I can’t even say it on here but the things they say about this whole dynamic is pretty funny. How do you think about that? Maybe it’s just a function of liberation, that you don’t need to be on parade all the time.

Richard: Why is that liberation? You could say someone being obese is liberation, why do they feel like they have to watch their weight? Not caring about how you look, this is a form of liberation.

Misha: You joke, but the US is way heavier than it was 50 years ago. You are seeing all these big is beautiful schtick kind of everywhere, you know what I mean? I kind of get the everyday person rolls their eye at this, but it seems to be a meaningful…

Richard: Do an experiment. Find a woke woman, tell her “you’ve put on a few pounds recently.” Say it in the nicest way possible, and see if she takes it as an insult. The things we say, “big is beautiful,” but try it sometime. Tell someone “I’m a liberal, I don’t have any judgement on these things.” It doesn’t work. There’s what we’re supposed to say and the reality.

…

Richard: Yeah, that’s some of it, and to go back to civil rights law, some of these things have been forcibly integrated. Some big golf course, something related to the PGA… they had men’s only golf and some big lawsuit. I think that’s right… Harvard within the last few years got rid of single gender fraternities and sororities, I don’t know if they went after the sororities too but they at least went after the fraternities. You think about why you’d need a male only space, or an all female space, and the justification would be “men and women are different, I can speak and talk in a way with other men that I can’t in a room with all women,” and that idea of fundamental differences is verboten, it’s something you’re not allowed to say or think.

You do get some all female spaces. It’s sort of like you could have an all black club but not all white club; because that’s the preference of the protected group, people will justify it somehow. They’ll say “blacks or women face unique challenges” not because they’re biologically different but because they’re facing unique challenges due to sexism or whatever. Sometimes they won’t deny the biological, but basically you don’t have to think too much about it, because they’re the “good people,” women and minorities.

And if you’re a man, now you’re talking about differences. And you’re implying those differences in some way favor the men. It’s funny, Daily Caller is a conservative website and they went to some member of the Congressional Black Caucus, a Democrat, and asked him “why do you think that men are arrested for crimes more than women?” Now the joke is that the Congressional Black Caucus says that it’s racism if blacks are arrested more for crimes than white people. And the Congressional Black Caucus, one of the guys was like “oh of course, because men are more violent.” It was nothing. So they sort of got him. There’s not a consistency. Sometimes you can believe in differences, sometimes you can’t. It’s not about if you believe in differences or not, it’s about if you’re flattering the group that needs to be flattered or insulting the group that needs to be insulted.

…

Misha: Just leave the crusty old dudes alone! There’s like 50 female gyms down the road from that same club and no one cares. But this is literally front-page news. No one can get enough of these crusty old dudes getting together for lunch.

Richard: The thing is men don’t want to do identity politics against women. You do have these guys online, men’s rights activists…

Misha: They’re losers! Who wants to be those guys?

Richard: Right. So there’s got to be a way to pushback, while not falling into the “we’re just like women, we’re going to have a fight on equal terms.” I mean if you do do that, you end up with the Taliban. Men will win, if you fight on equal terms with women… Trust me, it’s not going to be much of a fight. You don’t want to go in that direction.

…

Misha: I meant more, does being an immigrant allow you to speak truth to power? People can’t accuse you of being some rich, boat-shoe wearing fancy-boy who is speaking from a place of power in the US. Do you know what I mean?

Richard: Maybe. Let’s say there was a blond-haired blue eye guy who was just like me.

Misha: And you’re light haired and light eyed by the way!

Richard: I’m light eyed and dark haired. But yeah, I think it would be more difficult. I do think that’s certainly the case. There’s a guy named Madison Cawthorn, a young Republican, he looks like an SS officer. But he’s in a wheelchair, he had an accident, so it’s sort of strange that way. But he’s a typical dumb Republican who says dumb things. The media freaks out at him, it’s the way he looks. The wheelchair thing makes it a little strange. From what I can tell he’s not different from any Republican in Congress, just different in the way he looks.

Misha: So this is one of my favorite things about you. And whoever’s outraged at this point would have switched off or stopped listening already, but you’ll kind of point to the demographics or insane institutions in the US and you have this whole wokeness piece, you’re a pretty loud critic of that. But then you look at the Republicans and go “these idiots are totally worse. These idiots couldn’t organize a root in a brothel.” What’s going on there? To go in a different direction, what is with the state of conservatism in the US?

Richard: This is something I actually want to write about. There’s a narrow problem which is that they have never done the things I recommend they do, which is look at civil rights law and honestly face what’s happening. But then there’s a broader question as to why they think about this stuff and why they never intend to do anything about it. So that’s sort of a broader question.

The liberals are ideologically motivated. You look at which sources of news and information liberals trust more, and it’s usually the written word. The New York Times, Washington Post, it’s these other publications. The base driving the Democratic party and the left in the US is journalism and academia. For the right it’s talk radio and TV. Talk radio and TV is not ideological, it has a short attention span. It likes to fight, it likes the reality TV side of things. Sometimes it can win, it can win over the majority of the public because it’s good at showmanship and fighting.

And you have these groups that are issue focused, the gun people and anti-abortion people. These people do well, they’re organized and get the bills passed that they want. But in general, I think conservatism is more of a reaction to an ideological movement and liberalism is the ideological movement.

#richard hanania #substack #misha saul #transcript #podcast #read the whole thing

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tanzmitmirsblog · 3 years ago

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MAGICAL LECTURE

How can a lecture include knowledge that is both entertaining or entertaining and attractive, as well as educational? Linguistics is a course that covers all of these characteristics, and we all know why. We comprehend how our language is formed, how strong speech may be generated with sentences built by words, and I am sure we are all curious about where these words or sentences originate from, how they are formed, and how they impact the meaning. When it comes to the structural and semantic components of this course, as well as its usefulness to the student, we can claim that it contributes a lot.

First of all, it aims to explain to the student what linguistics and its sub-branches are. Then it continues with the same morphology with the formation and examination of the words at the bottom of the elements that make up the sentence. Afterwards, it examines the structure of compound words in English while dealing with where words come from in English. After the study of word formation, there are studies on the pronunciation of the word and it deals with the phonetic alphabet. It attempts to show you the vowels and consonants in the English alphabet, and also makes comparisons between letters in English and other languages. The phonology in English is as significant as the word order in this lesson because if we know the phonetics of the letters, we will pronounce the word properly. After the phonology, it examines the syllable structure and syllable types of these words and then investigates the pronunciation and structure of compound words in English. We can exemplify to the compound words such as toothbrush, headache, sailboat, sunflower, backbone, greenhouse, jellyfish, lighthouse, wholesale, and scapegoat.

The journey that starts with the word expands with the sentence, thus, the sentence structure is examined along with the syntax. Looking into word order in English, this course also compares diversity among other languages. Eventually, a study is made on the basic elements of clauses and phrases in English. All of the previous researches are concerned with the structure of sentences and the words that comprise them. When we analyse at this lesson from a semantic perspective, we can see how it deals with language rather than sentences, words, or phonetics. Linguistics which deals with the various variations of the language examines the factors that change the variety in the language. These factors can be ethnic, social, regional, or socioeconomic. It focuses on languages that have multiple language features such as creole and pidgin, which are formed from the different uses of a language and the interaction of formations between other languages. While researching the history of language, it also investigates its existence in the world. As we know, some languages are in danger of extinction and some have already been removed to the dusty shelves of history and are no longer used today. It looks at closely why languages disappear and tell the measures to be taken to prevent them from disappearing.

In linguistics, the subject of meaning is divided into semantics (semantics) and pragmatics (pragmatics). Some definitions of semantics exclude context, claiming that it is exclusively concerned with the meaning of the phrase, word groups, and words independent of context. Language users, use situations, and objectives are not considered in these definitions. The link between the thing and its symbolic design is emphasized, as is the abstract development of meaning in the mind. Pragmatics, on the other hand, is viewed as meaning in context or usage, stressing that it is concerned with the meaning of language employed in a context. Syntax is concerned with the order relationship between signs; semantics is concerned with the connection between the sign and its meaning; and pragmatics is concerned with the connection between the sign and the one who sees and understands it. With this reasoning, it is evident that syntax deals with the order, order, and order of language symbols, semantics deals with the meanings of language symbols, and pragmatics deals with the connection of language symbols with users. While this viewpoint constantly correlates pragmatics with context and meaning in usage, it defines semantics by omitting context. The notions of semantics and pragmatics will be recast as context-centred in this study. Because semantics and pragmatics are both concerned with meaning, it may be a logical difficulty to use the term semantics, which may be the generic word for the semantic area, and the other with pragmatics.

While being concerned with language in terms of semantics, it first examines the formation of meaning in the language in detail at the level of words and sentences, then deals with the elements that make expressions in languages meaningful and correct. Semantics is concerned with the transformation/transformation of things and activities into linguistic symbols as an abstract projection of natural regularities roughly reflecting/reflecting on brain syntax. Attempting to build a theory of meaning only from projections while neglecting the specific environment that generates such projections might be seen as a very problematic point of view. Context is the most basic requirement for communication to occur. The simplest setting has the fewest persons involved. Both sides have a rudimentary understanding of the factors in this situation. There may be personal factors in some cases. Semantic communication refers to the passing and rooting of information between at least two persons. In truth, a human possesses language and communication abilities. It implies he understands root context and post context information, linguistic and communicative symbols, symbol systems, and variables that are appropriate for them. Each language's indexes, semantics, and semantics are unique. These distinctions are much more pronounced among languages belonging to different language families. Languages can become too far apart due to historical, cultural, sociological, and geographical differences. Because not all meanings of a foreign language can be learnt, thresholds of knowledge and meaning skills can be established for semantic and progressive communication. The broad framework of in-class activities may be formed by commonly used root meanings and incremental meanings in daily life, as well as their root context and Artcontext narrative. While semantics and pragmatics are the two basic domains in which meaning is dealt with, context and user are often included in the latter. The first part contains an abstracted image of the user. Instead of semantics and pragmatics, semantics is used. Semantic and incremental lexemes appear to be more acceptable as sub-units of the main term. It may be more accurate to examine both semantics and pragmatics in context rather than only associating the use dimension to pragmatics. Concurrently, context may be handled from two angles: root context and post context. Contextual information may be introduced into foreign language training, giving communication a more unique and natural shape.

In general, it does not stop counting the benefits for a student, especially for a language learner, because linguistics, which examines how a language is formed, how words are formed, and in which structures and what meanings the sentences give, clearly emphasizes everything that the student needs to learn briefly. Some researchers think that this course will force the student by highlighting the confusing aspects, but the more confusing the better, because to understand a language, it is necessary to analyse it, just like in mathematics, we encounter concepts, symbols, and even formulas, just as numbers dance and confuse in mathematics, linguistics words. If we understand the word, we understand the sentence, we understand the whole piece, and when we solve the whole piece, we can master that language. The student learns how to deal with a language since linguistics provides a lot of possibilities for this. For instance, they can understand how a word is formed and how it is pronounced. The student gains how the language is affected semantically and how the language is formed or whether it is in danger of extinction, they comprehend the relationship between language and actions; moreover, they attain the structure of the word and sentence structure, and studies the alphabet and phonetics of the language they would like to dominate. As a student, I got a lot out of this course because knowing a language so comprehensively was very useful for me, especially the pronunciation of words and seeing how some compound words were formed were effective in my speaking and I can say that I enjoyed doing comparative research with some languages. Studying sentence structure has helped me understand the whole piece, and now I can segment and understand sentences in my mind while reading some articles. Taking this fun and informative class made me feel lucky.

-Tanzmitmisblog

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dweetwise · 5 years ago

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I feel like Doctor/Hillbilly is so niche but I really love the ship atm, may I rq some hcs of them mayb? 😔💕

[oo this is a rarepair if i’ve ever sen one! hope you like because i definitely got carried away!]

getting together fluff, some nsfw mentions at the end!

Herman X Max headcanons

Max has always admired the more authoritative killers, like Evan and Herman, while Herman has always mostly ignored Max. Herman is kind of a snob in that he values intelligence above all else, and just brushed Max off as an uneducated, well, hillbilly

Max isn’t stupid and is desperate to prove himself to Herman. This causes him to awkwardly approach the older man and request that he “Show Max how to make ‘em gennies sparkle an’ go boom”

Herman raises an eyebrow. The kid wants to learn how to overcharge a generator? It’s not an easy task and took Herman several weeks to perfect. Herman promises to get back to him later, causing a disappointed Max to wander off

Herman writes a numbered step-by-step idiot-proof guide to learning the technique, even throwing in a few rough sketches of the machines in case Max doesn’t know what some of the terms mean

When he finds Max and gives him the instructions with a smug grin, Max’s whole face lights up, until he looks at the papers and his smile drops into a disappointed frown. “Is something the matter?” Herman asks, prepared to give the young man a stern lecture for questioning his hard work. “Ah well, this ‘s mighty fine of ya Her--err, sir! Thanks!” Max drawls nervously before sprinting off with the papers

Herman doesn’t see Max for the next few days and assumes the scatter-brained youth gave up on learning altogether. He’s in the middle of complaining to Philip about Max squandering all his efforts, when Philip points out a crucial fact, “You know Max can’t read, right?”, and Herman feels like smacking himself in the face for not thinking of the possibility sooner

Herman swallows his pride and ventures to Coldwind farm to teach Max his technique the old-fashioned way, expecting to find the young man moping in a corner somewhere or perhaps making stick animals or whatever it is hillbillies do

Instead, he finds Max by the generator in the shed, hunched over and tinkering with the machine with papers scattered about the entire floor. “Hiya Herman!” Max greets him enthusiastically, wiping his oily hands on his overalls

“Max, what are you doing? What are these?” Herman questions and glances at the papers

“I did it! Look!” Max exclaims and gives the generator a solid kick, short-circuiting it and causing it to spark violently. “I uhh--I couldn’t read ya book, so I look’d at tha pictures ya drew an looked inside a genny to see wha I was s’posed ta do,” Max explains, gesturing to a pile of papers next to him where he’s--Herman inhales sharply in surprise--drawn pages upon pages of mechanical diagrams of the machines, pinpointing the exact locations the kick will impact!?

Herman is at a loss for words, completely taken aback by the other man’s resourcefulness and technical skill. He sees Max looking at him nervously, clearly awaiting some sort of response from his tutor. “Excellent work, boy. Would you like to accompany me in my next generator experiment?” Herman compliments and Max goes beet red and shuffles his feet awkwardly. “Tha’ would be mighty fine, sir.” Max mumbles

Max starts spending a lot of time in Herman’s office, assisting him with any research that requires a knack for machinery. Herman often visits Max’s tool shed in the farm, where they test many of his ideas and Max tinkers with the generator to troubleshoot for or fix any failures

Herman, recognizing and impressed by Max’s potential, demands the younger learn how to read so he can further participate in the research. Max is giddy at the prospect, but after a couple of disastrous attempts Herman admits he’s a lousy teacher and bribes Sally to teach Max by offering the redhead unlimited access to his office

Max is happy and making great progress with his reading, and Herman feels a strange sort of pride for his protege. That’s why it takes him completely by surprise when one day, Max decides to kiss him out of the blue. Herman pulls the man off of him and demands answers. “Just what do you think you’re doing!?” he asks sternly. “S-sorry! ‘S just, me an’ Sally were readin’ them books a-an I thought ‘s what people do, like them fellas Heathcliff an’ Cath’rine--”

“Of course Sally has you read that fictional garbage over the anatomy books I provided,” Herman sighs and runs a hand over his face in exasperation. “’M sorry Herman, Sally said ‘s what people do when ‘ey luv some’un,” Max explains, shuffling awkwardly. “Hold on. Love? Me?” Herman asks, voice uncharacteristically breaking into an even higher octave from the shock. Of all the stupid things--

“Ya! I luv ya,” Max says without hesitation, beaming. “And you want to kiss... me,” Herman clarifies, trying to wrap his head around this sudden turn of events. “Already did. An’ I wanna kiss ya more an’ do naughty things with ya in a hayloft,” Max cheerily remarks. Herman feels his brain short-circuit from the implications coming out of his seemingly innocent apprentice’s mouth. “Come ‘un, I ain’t dumb, I know wha Evan ‘n Phil dis’pear in tha woods fer,” Max grins with a slight blush.

Herman’s always been a quick thinker, so he manages to run through all possible outcomes of this scenario in his head. It’s stupid. He should reject Max. But he can’t say that he’s not intrigued, and seeing the kid’s enthusiasm... Herman finally just shakes his head fondly and allows himself to lean into Max’s personal space. “I know you’re anything but dumb, kid. I also don’t think you know what you’re getting yourself into,” he can’t suppress a dark chuckle, half expecting the younger to feel intimidated--

“Try me, pops,” Max challenges instead, grinning. “That’s it you little shit--” Herman has the time to give an idle threat before Max’s laughing mouth shuts him up with a kiss

It’s not the most healthy relationship as there’s a clear power imbalance but Herman is kind of a narcissist and gets off on it. Though he does genuinely care about Max, he’s not gentle and you’ll never hear him use the phrase “Are you sure?”

Max loves being praised both inside and outside the bedroom. Herman is stingy with his compliments, only giving them when he’s genuinely impressed, which makes them all the more special to Max

Max has a daddy kink ok I don’t make the rules. He doesn’t realize it and probably doesn’t even know what it means, but Herman is perceptive. When he takes a gander and urges Max to call him ‘daddy’ during one of their trysts he doesn’t expect it to do much of anything, but hearing his lover cry out the word and almost spill himself makes him realize it’s a control thing and now he’s very much on board

Herman tops at first, but once he sees Max’s enthusiasm and the younger learns to channel his energy, they fall into a habit of Max topping. Herman discovers himself to be a bit of a power bottom and begrudgingly admits that Max fucks better than him, making Max’s confidence soar

The other killers quickly find out about their relationship because Max can’t shut up about his adoration of Herman. They get some snide comments from the Legion brats and a blushing Amanda threatening Max to “Stop oversharing your fucking sex life or I’ll reverse beartrap your dick”, but nobody seems to really care what they do behind closed doors--with the exception of one

Evan is pissed, being somewhat of a father figure to Max and 1000% ready to bash in Herman’s skull for seemingly taking advantage of the younger, impressionable man. Max is upset a the accusations, Herman pretends to give a shit about Evan’s opinion because of Max, and eventually Philip and Sally have to get involved to calm Evan down, vouching for Herman’s non-sinister intentions and Max’s ability to make his own decisions

[i came up with max’s personality on the fly but i kind of love him now?? also i don’t know how old herman is but i always hc max as early twenties at most so have some age difference on the side]

#dbd headcanons #herman carter #max thompson jr #dbd doctor #dbd hillbilly #doctor x hillbilly #dbd #dead by daylight #request #dweetwrites

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jamr0ck83 · 5 years ago

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If Nobody is Racist, Then Who Exactly is Keeping Systemic Racism Going?

Everybody seems quick to insist that they’re not the ones who are racist. So, then who is? If it’s only the people you say, then why are we like this as a country?

Recently, someone with which I somewhat briefly attended grad school for education (And no, I don’t want to talk about what happened with that whole endeavor) posted the following image to their Facebook profile.

On its face, it seems like a completely reasonable and acceptable statement, and as such, it was generating some likes. At the time I first saw it, I think there were 6. But before I, too, submitted my approval of this image, I thought a little more about it, and its implications. And I realized that I didn’t really agree with it. I knew the person who posted it had no ill intentions, and I think they even found the image on the profile of another POC. But the more I reread the sign featured, the more I was sure that it was not a true statement. I knew that my stance was not going to garner nearly as many likes or other accolades as if I had posted a phrase like “Black Lives Matter”, which at this point, it seems like all reasonable people are able to agree that they do (or at least it’s the obvious appropriate thing to say in this moment). I knew I might receive some pushback or criticism, and while that did admittedly make me nervous, I knew that I needed to speak up in this way and in this moment. And I was willing to deal with whatever consequences came my way. I decided it was that important for me to make a case for a diverging opinion. So, I typed out the reply below and posted it.

I want to agree with this, but I'm not sure if I do. Please hear me out. It is entirely possible to be a Trump supporter and not be a person who has ever uttered a racial epithet or been otherwise explicitly or overtly racist. However, I do believe that there are degrees of racism, and if you're someone who has responded that "all lives matter" or "blue lives matter" when another person asserts that black lives matter, I would argue that you are on the spectrum of holding onto or entertaining some form of racist ideology. If you watched the video of George Floyd having his life choked out of him and then watched the footage of riots from that first night in Minneapolis and thought "It's a shame that guy died, but what they're doing now is uncalled for", this might indicate that you prioritize law and order (no matter how unjustly they are being enforced) over the life of a man whose only transgression was that he was black, and that, too, places you on that spectrum of racism. Racism isn't always waving a confederate flag and yelling at POCs to go back to where they came from. Sometimes, it's knowing that the politician you support will turn a blind eye to or even praise people who march around with tiki torches yelling, "Jews will not replace us" and wanting to vote for him anyway. Sometimes, it's hearing black people beg to have full access to the citizenship rights that are due them but deciding it's more important for you to vote for the guy who advocates for you to keep your semiautomatic rifle. If you are deciding that your wants (not needs) have priority over the humanity of POCs, then I would argue that you are on the spectrum of racism. And that demands some self-reflection. Complicity is part of what makes racism so destructive. What's the point of knowing better if you refuse to hold others accountable for doing better?

And then I waited. I waited for blowback. I waited for pushback. I waited for agreement. I waited for literally anything anybody might feel compelled to say. But the only feedback I received was a single “like” whereas the post itself had garnered six additional since the posting of my comment. So, people obviously disagreed with my stance but couldn’t bring themselves to make that known in any kind of direct fashion. And frankly, that concerns me. A great deal, in fact. And there are a couple of reasons why.

Firstly, and this is something of which I was starting to become more aware even months before the death of George Floyd and these subsequent protests, white people are very quick to assert that they, themselves, are not racist. They are also quick to assert that most people who look like them are not racist. According to them, hardly anybody is really, truly racist. But if that’s actually true, then why is this country such an absolute mess, and why have we been that way for centuries? It’s as if the term “racist” is being reserved for truly egregious and over-the-top cases. And everything else is just the way people are. White people seem to have a very specific and narrow idea of what racism looks and sounds like, and that allows them to never truly have to consider whether they, themselves, might be racist. Or if their family members are racist. Or if the politicians they actively support are racist. Under their definition of that word, it barely applies to anyone. And as a black woman who considers herself knowledgeable of both history and current affairs, I will confidently say that this is wrong.

I have had people who cloak themselves under the banner of liberalism say some things to me that would make me raise an eyebrow if I knew at all how to move that particular facial muscle. And no, it’s not the times when the racial epithets and slurs are used that I feel compelled to do this. It’s actually the times when I’ve made some sort of assertion about the impact of oppression on the lives of black people today, and I am met with sentiments such as “It’s not fair that we keep getting blamed for everything” or “You weren’t a slave, so the legacy of that institution doesn’t create any modern-day problems for you” or “Slavery ended over a hundred years ago, so why do you keep wanting to bring it up? Why can’t we all just move on? Life is hard enough”. (That last phrase is a direct quote from a white woman who replied to something I said on Instagram regarding the role that white women have historically played in the role of oppressing black bodies. She objected to my assertion that this is an issue that is rarely discussed, because dwelling on it would cause white women to feel discomfort, and that is in direct opposition to this silent societal code we all seem to follow that says that we must do whatever we can to prevent white women from feeling uncomfortable. Ironically, she was shutting my argument down, because it made her uncomfortable.) Also, I’ve been told that the ways in which I have experienced oppression throughout my life just aren’t true, that I must be mistaken and that I am making something be all about race when it’s not about race at all. And finally, I’ve been told the oldie but goodie “I don’t see color; I just see people”.

To the people that are brave enough to read this right now, I will submit to you that these statements and sentiments all reek of racism. Every single one of them. And every single person who uttered these phrases would have gone to the grave denying that they could be considered racist. And sorry, people who made these statements, but this assertion by you would be wholly incorrect. By so narrowly defining what racism is, we have given many people permission to absolve themselves from any responsibility for how it continues to thrive in American society. Nobody needs to look inward; nobody has to come to terms with any mindsets they might harbor that are truly problematic. And if nobody is willing to deal with anything or even acknowledge it, how are we going to change anything? If we can’t even recognize and talk about what racism is, how are we going to put an end to it? And the short answer is, we’re not.

My second concern is that, while it seemed like almost no one who saw my comment agreed with it, no one felt compelled to say anything, give any sort of reason for WHY they disagreed with it. Maybe it’s because I’m black that they felt like they should just let me get on my soapbox and say what I needed to say, and that would be their form of allyship (even though at the end of the day, them doing this was just a dismissal of everything I said so they could go on with their lives, which kind of flies in the face of being an ally). When these protests first started, I think many black people were reasonably skeptical about the degree to which we could rely on non-black allyship for the duration of however long we needed it. We wondered if the outrage and fervor exhibited was sustainable. And we wondered if white allies, specifically, were truly willing to endure discomfort if it would eventually lead to the advancement of our movement. And I hate to say it, but I feel like the instance of this post about racism and who it applies to gave me substantial reason to believe that they are not. The fact that there are people aligning themselves publicly to the BLM movement who are already seemingly unwilling to settle in their discomfort in order to be a more effective agent of change greatly concerns me. It indicates to me that for some people (not all, but some) a lot of what’s going on right now is an exercise for them in anti-racism theater. To put it simply and bluntly, they are not “in it to win it”, because “winning it” requires that they sacrifice more comfort than they are ready to do. And while that’s certainly not everybody who calls themselves an ally, I worry that it represents a substantial number of people who we are currently relying on as allies who really aren’t. And when they start drifting away from the protests and the posting of hashtags because this movement is no longer the fun, new thing we’re all doing, the people who remain are going to have to pick up the slack and work even harder to account for their absence.

To be clear, I’m not trying to knock anyone who wants to be an ally or make it seem like I want to nitpick at everyone and that there isn’t anything that any non-black ally can do that would truly please me. If that’s what you are thinking now as you read this, I would implore you to reconsider. Because that perspective is one that stems directly from the notion that we are trying to hurt people’s feelings. It stems from this idea that it is our responsibility to make our white allies feel good about what they are doing right now so that they will continue to feel encouraged, or else they will walk away. But this movement is not about pacifying white people’ feelings, whether they consider themselves to be allies or not. We are not here to make you comfortable. We are here to seek the justice that we are due. We are here to seek the rights of citizenship that we have been routinely denied. We are here to put an end to systemic racism. Catering to allies’ feelings is nowhere on that list. It’s not even a close fourth. We need people to put their own individual feelings aside (discomfort, guilt, or whatever else) and help do what needs to be done.

And I realize this might be a harsh reality check, I do, because I know that many black Americans have spent a significant portion of their lives doing whatever they could to make white people comfortable. During slavery, we performed their backbreaking hard labor so they wouldn’t have to but could still reap the financial benefits. In modern times, many of us deliberately hold back a lot of ourselves in white people’s presence, because it’s always been an expectation that successful black people who have properly assimilated in the larger American society need to make sure that nothing we do resembles anything that might make them remember that we are not the same color. For many black women, this means stifling their voices and hiding their frustrations, because nobody wants to deal with an angry black woman. For many black men, this might mean being keenly and constantly aware of their physical stature and proximity to other people, because they don’t want anyone to find them intimidating in any way. I think white people take these acts for granted because we’ve always done them, but they are not “just the way we are” or “just the way we like to be”. They are a series of survival skills that we have been forced to adhere to, because to refrain from doing so would allow others to perceive as people they’d rather not deal with, if possible. That means, we wouldn’t be the ones who get into the good school or get the good job or even get to keep our lives.

I have been deemed a quiet person my entire life, and while some of that is due to my genuine introverted nature, the majority is supplemented by the fact that, in most situations, if I am given the choice between being the quiet and unassuming black girl who nobody really has a problem with or the more vocal and passionate black woman that asserts herself but then has to deal with the consequences of nobody really wanting to be around her, I choose the former. And I started choosing it at a very young age; I was definitely still in elementary school. It starts that early. Because we know that early. We know that this country was not designed with us in mind unless it was to depend on our labor or our ability to entertain. We know that the system is literally rigged against us in such ways that, if we were to inform white people of all those facets of oppression, they would accuse us of being paranoid. Actually, that is precisely what happens when we try to tell people about our experiences of being black in America. There are a lot of people out there who are masterful at gaslighting and being utterly dismissive of our struggles. And that is a response that is literally for the sole purpose of driving the other person to the point of insanity. So, for the most part, we stopped telling you things, because you weren’t really listening, anyway. And we realized that, if we were going to make it in this country, then we really did have to work twice as hard, be twice as amiable in demeanor, and twice as resilient. Was that fair, for that to be put on us? Of course not. But we shouldered that burden. Because what was the alternative? So, we did it, and we’ve done it fairly quietly for a very long time.

But we’re tired. And we’re angry. Because no matter what we do, people keep killing us for little to no reason and then justify it to say that we must have done something to deserve it. “Well, you should’ve known that wearing a hoodie makes you look threatening.” “A toy gun could look a lot like a real gun, so that’s an honest mistake on the officer’s part.” “Oh, wait. You were minding your own business sitting in your apartment when somebody shot you? Well, were you really living beyond reproach and therefore entitled to keep your life? You sure you’ve never done anything wrong? Don’t you smoke weed sometimes?” These are the ways people have justified our deaths. And I would argue that all those statements and sentiments are couched in racism. All of them. None of it is okay, and it all needs to end. And we need everyone we can get to commit to joining us in this fight. But if you’re really going to sit there and maintain the party line that racists are really few in number and that you, the non-black ally, don’t need to consider the ways in which you might harbor some racist ideology, then you’re not ready to be an ally. And you can’t help us. And you won’t help us. Because as soon as things get a little less trendy or a little more uncomfortable, you will prioritize that over our humanity. And that, in itself, is pretty damn racist.

#blacklivesmatter #angryblackgirl #therandomthoughtsofmybrain #racism #allyship #ThisIsHowYouAlly #America #womanist #womanism #whitefragility #NoTimeToPlacateYourFeelings

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polkadotfairyposts · 4 years ago

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Ok, so as an english person living in Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 I now actually really *get* the need for independence.

Here's my brief, foggy and perhaps mildly innacurate because im a bit shit with dates and names but bear with me. I was also drunk when i wrote this but it still stands

So, Scotland is one of the oldest *established* countries in europe, in 843 or 834 it became a recognised country

England, being England, kept on invading and there was a lot of dispute about territory.

You know thoose historical figures you hear about a lot, William Wallace of Braveheart fame, Robert the Bruce of Outlaw King. These guys were about in the 1300s. Contantly battling with England over their sovreinty

In 1314, the Battle of Bannockburn happens, Robert the Bruce pretty much destroys the English army near Stirling

1320, the Declaration of Arbroath is signed, stating the people of Scotland, not a king or leader, but the people theselves are sovereign, in quite a dramatic comparison so England's monarchy and heirarchical system. Yes, the Scots had kings and nobility, but the people were the most important, kings were not chosen by God

It was written in Latin, but says the following:

As long as but a hundred of us remain alive, never will we on any conditions be brought under English rule. It is in truth not for glory, nor riches, nor honours, that we are fighting, but for freedom - for that alone, which no honest man gives up but with life itself".

Boom, right?!

The union of the crown happened, im hhazy on it all, watch Mary Queen of Scots to get a fairly good idea. Its mostly to do with a lot of Protestant/Catholic issues, mostly fuelled by English politics, as far as i can see, but i. Could be v wrong. There was alot of hoo-ha regarding recognising Scotland's monarchy, especially involving the "Auld Alliance" with France, who England was continually picking fights with

1703: The Scottish Parliament passes the Act of Security, under which Scotland will not in future be bound to accept the same monarch as England unless Scotland is accorded completely free trade with England and the colonies.

So, the Treaty of the Union happened in 1707 (thats right, its only just over 300 years old) but lets just look at the curcumstance in which it was signed

In the years (maybe decades) leading up to this, England imposed some kind of tax or restrictions on scottish trading.

5 February 1705: The English Parliament pass the Alien Act, restricting scottish exports and trades. Big economic impact here. Many purses made a lot lighter.

So, the Scottish Parliament (made of nobles and officials, no vote for the people. Rumoura of bribery and threats abound) decide to enter into this Union. A draft is written, its voted in, the Scottish Parliament is dissolved. There was a LOT of anti-union feeling about this. Theres a rumour the Treaty was signed in an actual basement in edinburgh to avoid protests happening around the city. (I obvs dont know the truth in that)

Magically, when the scottish parliament was dissolved, restrictions were removed and scotland was able to trade freely as part of the "United Kingdom of Great Britain"

Now, theres a king, exiled, James, or "the Pretender", hanging in France, decides to rally troops from there and head back to try and sort a Jacobite uprising. This, in 1708, failed.

1715 sees another Jacobite uprising. Defeated

1720 Spain tries to. Help another Jacobite uprising. Defeated.

Honestly, just keep on going through rinse and repeat until the big one.

You all know Bonnie Prince Charlie and the 1745 Jacobite uprising and the absolute massacre of Culloden, especially if youve followed the Outlander series.

This was the last big rebellion. And I'll tell you for why.

Scottish culture was all but outlawed. Kilts, Tartan, Pipes, Gaelic, all punishable offenses. The Highland clearances happened (basically rich people owned the land, decided it was gonna make them more money to feed cattle than people and moved villages and townspeople to the most barren areas, on the brink of survival. A lot of folk were destitute, some left in ships bound for the US willingly , many were sent as punishment for even minor crimes)

Now, im not saying the Scots were angels and innocents subjected to English rule, a good few profited highly from Slave Trade and many oof Glasgow and Edinburgh's city statues are of questionable admirability.

But this Union of Equals is anything but.

In the 1990s, the Scots had to fight tooth and nail to get their own parliament back. This was under Labour and Donald Dewar became First Minister.

In 2014, there was an epic vote for Scots on whether to become and Independent country again. From polling at just 26%a year or so before, the Yes vote went up to 45%. Not enough to win the referendum, but a huge improvement. The Better Together campaign raised questions such as EU membership, pensions, currency, could Scotland afford it?

The DAY AFTER the No vote was announced, David Cameron announces EVEL (yeah, it looks like evil) English Votes for English Laws. Freezing Scottish MPs out of decision-making. So much for "Stay with us, Scotland. Lead us, dont leave us"

2016 the goddamned Brexit vote happens. It was 52/48 Now you know, if that had been the outcome for Yes, the uproar would have been "its too close to call" "thats not a big enough margin!" but because it was what an underlying majority of Tory backbenchers actually wanted, it was accepted. People who voted to stay in the EU were labelled Remoaners and the 16m+ who voted against it were ignored in favour of the 17m+ who voted for. Also worth noting, scotlannd voted 62% to stay in the EU. A much higher margin than to remain ppart of the UK. We were ignored. So much for Scotland staying in the UK to stay in the EU

Oh, and the last decade of Tory austrity has seen oension age increase and pension amount decrease. We've one of the worst ppensions in the developed world. There goes that argument

As a result of the Brexit vote, the sterling decreased in value. Fuck it, a number of Scots wouldnt even mind using the Euro if we were to rejoin them, but we'd be well within our rights to use our own Scots ££££

Also, the Macrone report shows pretty well that Scotland has a wealth of natural resources it would be able to use, we could definitely afford it.

Soooo, we comme to the "once in a generation" arguement. This was said a lot, by both sides. As a turn of phrase. Same as many things. Boris Johnson said he'd rather be dead in a ditch than take an extension for EU talks. He took that extension and thougb ive been thoroughly searching ditches up and down the UK, not spotted him yet.

Nowhere in the Edinburgh Agreement (the document agreement 2014 referendum) does it state "once in a generation". It *does* state that scotland can holld another referendum following "constitutional change". One word. Brexit. Thays one big motherfucking change.

If were talking about a generation, in human terms, thay could be 20/30/40/50 years or so. But if we're talking political generation, its worth noting in talks with Ireland, this was defined as seven years. Since the Edinburgh Agreement was signed in 2012,we're past that. And even if we go by 2014, thay makes 2021 the year we can do another.

12 consecutive polls have shown Yes well ahead for independence. Scotland also allows 16-18 year olds to vote. And EU citizens living in Scotland.

The point is, if Scotlannd wants it, Scotland shoukd be able to choose it.

#scottish independence #End of the Union #Yes Scotland #scottish history

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gayregis · 4 years ago

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it's not my intention to come off as rude, but could you perhaps think more using insane" less? I don't want to tell you what to do but this word as well as others like "crazy" as descriptors are so deeply rooted in common usage but also very, very ableist at the core. I think it's important to unlearn these things and be more mindful of their impact and the implications towards the mentally ill.

this might be a long answer but like... yeah. this can get pretty personal so. that’s why it’s long. **and i am asking anyone reading to not reblog this post because of it being personal** but i wanted to respond to this ask and not ignore it, to let you know that i do care about what you’re talking about, but i do just want to challenge your perspective a little.

i want to say that, although it’s not your intention to come off as rude, it is kind of rude to assume that i don’t deal with mental illness and that i’ve never thought about this before. just because i don’t have all of my mental illnesses listed in my bio does not mean i am not mentally ill... you kind of don’t know anything about me regarding this, because i try and keep it private and not make a lot of vent posts, because i generally am become uncomfortable with venting online to strangers. you saying “the mentally ill” like it’s a foreign concept is pretty funny to me considering that i struggle with mental illness...

okay so. let’s get to the response to this

first off, i agree with you that using words like “crazy” and “insane” can be rude and ableist when used in a rude and ableist context. if you are calling other people “crazy” and “insane” to describe their actions towards you, like a guy saying “my crazy bitch ex girlfriend”, that’s obviously fucked up and an improper use of the word. additionally, other words, like “ps*cho” and shit are totally off the table to say, imho, as they have a much deeper effect.

but i think that it depends on how you use the word. much like saying “that’s so gay,” VS “i’m so gay,” when you’re actually using the word to describe your own feelings and emotions, that’s pretty much a proper use of the word in terms of its definition, instead of using it to hurt others or to associate it with something to look down upon. this leads me to my next point, which is how i use these words to describe myself, which is personal so i’m going to put a read more

as for the personal side and context as to how i typically use these words, i feel like i usually use them in their proper manner, i.e., to describe my own feelings.

this ask came in like, directly after i posted these tags, so forgive me if i’m connecting to the wrong thing, but these were my tags for context:

so my tag “goes insane, bites u” is pretty silly, at first glance. right, it’s like, a meme or a joke? well... the use of “im insaneeeee” as a phrase that has become common recently “as a joke” has actually been kind of relieving to me as someone who deals with trauma and a whole sleuth of other things... like, when i am feeling super overwhelmed, panicked, and yes , “insane,” i can say, “haha im insanneeee” and it won’t sound like i’m weird for being this way, that i’m weird for having panic attacks, meltdowns, sobbing randomly, etc, etc.

you can’t see me do these things, because the entirety of my life doesn’t exist on tumblr , so i understand that it might just seem that i’m some weird random fandom blog who doesn’t give two shits and has a perfectly happy life. but i do experience these things and it’s part of my life

when i say “im going insaneeee”, etc. in relation to posts about parental characters / parental relationships,,,...... did you ever think that there might be a reason behind that? or that i might be reacting in an actual “insane” way? i phrase it jokingly, but a lot of the time, i am actually “going insane.” i phrase it like this for both my own comfort (what i talked about where it normalizes it and makes me feel less weird) but also for brevity, and ALSO? to make the artist/op/etc feel way more comfortable than if i literally just spilled everything and said, “this art represents a relationship i desire between myself and my absent parent, whose violence towards me and my other parent still affects me every day, to this day...........” because that’s fucked up and no one would want to read that coming from a stranger, right? i think i’ve said before that the witcher is like “a coping medium” for me and i interact with it not just on a general fandom level, but it has provided me kind of like a way of dealing with shit that i’ve had to encounter...

obviously i don’t have to describe my entire life and trauma to a stranger on the internet, because that’s just not something that i either feel comfortable with or that i need to do, but i wanted to just give an example of where i’m coming from with this.

i also want to say that i have seen this argument many times, and i also think a lot about a post about this specific argument but i can’t find it right now, but basically what the post says is that eliminating words like “crazy” and “insane” from our vocabularies with no thought of WHY we’re doing it beyond “it can be ableist”, without actually considering what these words mean and the variety of ways in which they can be used, and what we could do to directly benefit the lives of mentally ill people, is a HUGELY liberal standpoint that focuses on the performativity of personal choice instead of the SYSTEMATIC CHANGES that would help lessen the effects of the ableism baked into our society.

so yeah that’s pretty much it, i get if it makes you uncomfortable and i’ll try not to use these words in like derogatory ways like “you’re insane if you think that...” because i get where that can start to feel wrong, although i can’t remember a post i’ve made where i said that (if you want to link me to posts like that that i’ve made, i can edit them).

thanks for the concern anon and i hope this answered your question, but i just want to say like, even though i think your intent was good, please consider how you’re interacting with people and do not assume the mental health status of everyone you see online...

#ask #anon #again i feel weird publishing this bc its personal but i thought its important because you do raise a point

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mrjat396 · 4 years ago

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THE MANY HEALTH BENEFITS OF METH

In low, pharmaceutical-grade doses, methamphetamine may actually repair and protect the brain in certain circumstances. But stigma against the drug could be harming patients and holding back research.

TROY FARAHMAY 15, 2019

D-methamphetamine is what generally appears on the street—although it's often cut with other chemicals—whereas l-meth provides a less addictive, shorter-lived high that is less desirable among drug users.

(Photo: Fiona Goodall/Getty Images)

Ask your doctor about methamphetamine. It's not a phrase you'll ever hear on TV or the radio, but here's a secret: Meth is an incredible medicine. Even the Drug Enforcement Administration admits it, and doctors are known to prescribe it for narcolepsy, obesity, and ADHD. Historically, meth has been used to reverse barbiturate overdoses and even raise blood pressure during surgery. Some preliminary research suggests that meth can be neuroprotective against stroke and traumatic brain injury, even stimulating the growth of brain cells.

Yet we're constantly warned never to try meth—"not even once," goes the refrain—or it will instantly cause addiction and ruin your life. Before fentanyl was the demon drug du jour, meth was seen as the worst, most destructive, most evil chemical you could find on the streets. Even of late, if you ask the New York Times or NBC, you'll learn that meth, "the forgotten killer," is back with a "vengeance." Other outlets, from Rolling Stone to CNN to The Daily Beast, have raised the alarm about meth use in the context of the opioid overdose crisis.

Stimulant-related deaths are indeed on the rise in North America—in some regions, meth is even more prevalent than heroin. Surveying drug overdoses in America from 1979 through 2016, researchers wrote in Science in September of 2018 that "Methamphetamine deaths have increased most dramatically in the western and southwestern United States."

Meth poisonings accounted for an estimated 14,845 hospitalizations in 2015, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), and another 15,808 emergency room visits. In 2016, around 7,500 people died from overdosing on stimulants, including meth. If you ask most people, including policymakers, you'll hear that meth is a scourge that can do no good.

But if you've ever used something like Vicks VapoInhaler, you've experienced the healing benefits of meth firsthand. That's because the over-the-counter nasal decongestant contains levomethamphetamine, the levorotary form—or "mirror image"—of the same stuff from Breaking Bad. Procter & Gamble tries to obscure this fact by spelling the active ingredient "levmetamfetamine." Selegiline, a drug for treating Parkinson's and Alzheimer's diseases, also metabolizes into levomethamphetamine.

There is a significant difference between these two opposing molecules. D-methamphetamine is what generally appears on the street—although it's often cut with other chemicals—whereas l-meth provides a less addictive, shorter-lived high that is less desirable among drug users. But people can and do use it recreationally. Abuse is rare, however, in part because the high is shitty, but also because d-meth is so widely available. It's easier to buy a more powerful form of the drug on the street than it is to try to extract it from over-the-counter medications.

Other Americans are prescribed actual, pure meth by their doctors. It happens less frequently these days, but in ADHD, obesity, or narcolepsy cases where nothing else has worked, a drug called Desoxyn (methamphetamine hydrochloride) can sometimes help. It can even be prescribed to children as young as seven.

It's important to make these distinctions. Meth didn't make a "comeback"; it never left. It can't return with a "vengeance" and it can't be "evil" because we're talking about a chemical compound here. It has no personality, no feelings, no intentions.

Thus it does a disservice to science and to medicine, as well as to the people who use these drugs responsibly, to treat a molecule with dualistic properties purely as a poison. And as recent research has shown, we're still uncovering some of the potential therapeutic benefits of methamphetamine. Confronting the stigma associated with meth and highlighting its benefits can better inform drug policy and addiction treatment.

(Photo: HO/Royal Thai Navy/AFP/Getty Images)

'IT'S JUST A STIMULANT, LIKE ANY OTHER STIMULANT'

For Jordan*, the meth he's prescribed works better against his ADHD with fewer side effects than the Adderall he'd been on for 20 years. About five years ago, Jordan asked his doctor if he could try methamphetamine. The doc said sure.

"The first time I brought it to the pharmacy, the pharmacist actually said to me, 'Oh, your doctor wrote this prescription wrong, this is the stuff that they make in meth labs,'" Jordan tells me by phone. "I told him to type 'Desoxyn' into the computer, and he did. He kind of backtracked, [but] he obviously had no idea."

Jordan, a middle-aged man from North Carolina who works in clinical research, now switches every three months between Adderall and Desoxyn to prevent building a tolerance to either stimulant.

Methamphetamine and amphetamine (one of the active ingredients in Adderall) are almost identical chemicals. The main difference between the two is the addition of a second methyl group to methamphetamine's chemical structure. This addition makes meth more lipid-soluble, allowing for easier access across the blood-brain barrier. Meth is therefore not only more potent, but also longer-lasting.

"The medications have definitely been important for me, to be productive, to be successful, not just at work but also in my personal life," Jordan says. "I've been on the medications for years, but I can take Adderall or methamphetamine and take a nap afterwards. I don't have any noticeable side effects."

Jordan also doesn't feel "high" from the doses he takes—approximately 10 to 15 milligrams of meth per day. Doses at this level are well tolerated by most people. It's very difficult to estimate the typical dosages of illicit meth taken on the street, but they are generally many times higher and taken every couple of hours. Further, the route of administration—typically, users smoke or inject illicit meth—allows for more of the drug to enter the bloodstream than taking a prescription pill.

At high doses, meth gives a rush of euphoria, boosting attention span, zapping fatigue, and decreasing appetite. Intense sexual arousal, talkativeness, and rapid thought patterns are also common. Body temperature and heart rate shoot up, which can cause irregular heartbeat, increasing the risk of seizures. If taken repeatedly over long periods, street meth can be highly neurotoxic, inducing paranoia and psychosis.

But illicit meth is also often used to self-medicate, according to Mark Willenbring, an addiction psychiatrist from St. Paul, Minnesota, with over 30 years of practice treating substance-use disorders. In Willenbring's experience, most of his patients who use illegal meth are treating undiagnosed ADHD.

"There's a high degree of comorbidity between substance-use disorders and ADD," Willenbring says. "They used meth for years in a controlled way, they never over-used it, they just used enough to get an effect, and then they stopped. One misconception is that it's always very addictive."

With most people who are addicted to meth, Willenbring says, you can't tell it just by looking at them. Carl Hart, a neuroscientist in Columbia University's Department of Psychology, agrees that the image of a snarling meth addict with bad teeth is a false stereotype. The dental damage so prevalent in anti-drug propaganda, he says, is more likely due to poor nutrition and lack of sleep—not to the drug. "There is no empirical evidence to support the claim that methamphetamine causes physical deformities," Hart wrote in a 2014 co-authored report.

"It's just a stimulant, like any other stimulant," Willenbring says. "It's a marketing issue."

Part of the reason Jordan asked to try Desoxyn in the first place was to see if he'd develop any of the "stereotypical meth addict problems," as he puts it. He hasn't.

"Those of us that know the reality have a responsibility to say, 'Hey, not that shooting up meth isn't bad, but the chemical itself isn't bad,'" Jordan says. "It's just misuse of the chemical that's bad."

For Joan*, a 66-year-old grandmother living off the grid in northern Georgia, Desoxyn makes her feel normal. "Not high, not hyped up, just normal," she tells me. She's been taking prescription meth since 2006, but first tried many other ADHD meds, such as Ritalin and Concerta, with poor results. But Desoxyn has not only helped her socialize, manage bills, and finish her master's degree in social work; it's also helped with Joan's depression and self-esteem.

"The only downside is the cost," she says. "It's one of the oldest drugs on the market, but even generic, it is outrageously expensive."

Still, meth isn't for everyone, of course. Kevin*, a 31-year-old artist from the Midwest, was first prescribed Desoxyn at age 15 to treat extreme fatigue and trouble focusing. But misdiagnosed mental-health issues—his doctors thought he had bipolar disorder, when in fact he had post-traumatic stress from childhood abuse—led to worsening symptoms.

"Being able to just take a bunch of pills that made the exhaustion go away for a while felt like a blessing, but it was just a Band-Aid on the problem," Kevin says. "I became completely dependent upon Desoxyn to function, and any lapse in taking my dose would result in a terrible energy crash."

"In retrospect, my neurologist at the time would have done well to consider the effects of intense stimulants on someone already prone to mania, insomnia, and hallucinations," he says. "I think Desoxyn has its merits as part of a treatment plan for attentive disorders, but that's the thing—it needs to be part of a larger understanding of how and why it might have a negative impact upon the patient's overall health, and should remain closely monitored throughout."

"Stigma is the lens [through] which we see all drug issues. It keeps us from making the best decisions. It is fear-based, not rational, not creative. Because of stigma, we have not fully addressed the opioid crisis."

(Photo: Guillermo Arias/AFP/Getty Images)

HOW METH CAN TREAT BRAIN INJURY—AND MUCH MORE

Street doses of meth can be extremely damaging to your health. The purity of such drugs is often unknown, and repeated, high doses of meth have been proven to be neurotoxic. But in low, pharmaceutical-grade doses, meth may actually repair and protect the brain in certain circumstances.

This was first discovered in 2008, when researchers at Queen's Medical Center Neuroscience Institute in Honolulu, Hawaii, analyzed five years of data on traumatic head injuries. They unexpectedly found that patients who tested positive for methamphetamine were significantly less likely to die from the injuries. The authors suggested that meth could have neuroprotective benefits.

To learn more, in 2011, a different team from the University of Montana applied meth to slices of rat brain that had been damaged to resemble the brains of stroke victims. Then they induced strokes in living rats, using a method called embolic MCAO, and injected them with methamphetamine. At low doses, the meth gave better behavioral outcomes and even reduced brain-cell death. At high doses, the meth made outcomes worse.

Because meth stimulates the flow of important neurotransmitters—dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine—the Montana researchers theorized that methamphetamine may provide neuroprotection through multiple pathways. David Poulsen, one of the researchers involved, says this was a "serendipitous discovery."

"So we decided, well, if it worked in stroke, it's probably going to work really well in traumatic brain injury," says Poulsen, now a neurosurgeon at the University of Buffalo who specializes in treatments for protecting the brain after severe damage.

Traumatic brain injury, or TBI, occurs after a violent smash to the skull. Its consequences include concussions on the mild end and coma or death on the severe end. TBI kills around 50,000 Americans annually, according to the CDC, while about 2.8 million of us visit the emergency room for TBI-related injuries every year. There is currently no Food and Drug Administration-approved treatment for TBI.

So, Paulson and his team reasoned, if meth can already be prescribed for children, why not to adults with TBI?

To test the proposition, Poulsen and colleagues gave TBI to rats. Giving an animal brain trauma isn't easy, but for more than two decades, there's been a trick called the rat lateral fluid percussion injury model: Simply cut a hole in the skull of a rat and apply water pressure to the brain.

About half the rodents—19 male Wistar rats—were given this treatment, and eight of these were then given meth. The rats given meth performed better at a task called the Morris water maze, a widely used experiment that involves plopping a rat into a pool of water with a hidden platform. By tracking how long it takes the rodent to find the platform, scientists can measure many different aspects of cognitive function.

"By the third day of training, there were no statistically significant differences between the uninjured control rats and the injured rats that had been treated with methamphetamine," Poulsen and his colleagues wrote.

But the team also found that low doses of meth were protecting immature neurons, while also promoting the birth of new brain cells that are important for learning and memory. The same was also true for rats that were given meth, but not injured.

"We see not just little, but very significant improvements in cognition and behavior," Poulsen says. "Their memories improved, functional behavior is improved.... It's not a trivial difference."

"In light of the fact that low-dose methamphetamine is FDA-approved for use in juveniles and adults, we see no valid reason why it cannot be utilized in human clinical trials for stroke and TBI," Poulsen and colleagues concluded in 2016.

But those clinical trials, considered the gold standard for testing medication, have yet to materialize, even while a 2018 retrospective study found similar results to the Hawaiian neuroscience report: Out of 304 patients with TBI, those who also tested positive for meth had better recovery results than those who did not. "The potential neuroprotective role of meth and other similar substances cannot be ignored," the authors wrote in Clinical Neurology and Neurosurgery last July.

There are limited conclusions that we can draw about these rodent and retrospective studies, and it's probably unlikely that nurses will soon start giving meth to people who have cracked their skulls. Still, a wide variety of stimulant therapies for TBI is being explored, with positive results. These include trials with modafinil, a narcolepsy drug; amantadine, a Parkinson's drug; and dextroamphetamine, one of the components of Adderall. But there's still no indication of a single clinical trial for methamphetamine for TBI registered with the National Institutes of Health.

Methylphenidate, also known as Ritalin, seems to be the stimulant most popular in these trials. For example, in 2004, researchers at Drucker Brain Injury Center at MossRehab Hospital in Pennsylvania gave methylphenidate, better known as Ritalin, to 34 patients with moderate to severe TBI. They reported significant improvements in information processing and attention.

Twelve years later, in Gothenburg, Sweden, another 30 patients suffering from prolonged fatigue following TBI were given methylphenidate and observed for six months. They also showed improved cognitive function and reduced fatigue. But a 2016 meta-analysis of 10 controlled trials found the main benefit of giving methylphenidate for TBI was increased attention, "whereas no notable benefit was observed in the facilitation of memory or processing speed," the authors wrote. They encouraged more research into appropriate dosages and length of prescription.

Birgitta Johansson, a neuroscientist at the University of Gothenburg and lead author of the Swedish study, suggests caution whenever treating someone with a brain injury. "With methylphenidate, it is important to be aware about possible side effects, [such] as increased blood pressure and heart rate and also risk of anxiety," she says. "It is always very important to prescribe medication with care and follow the patient carefully."

But the reason meth isn't studied more rigorously—for TBI, for Alzheimer's and Parkinson's, for stroke—could also come down to money. Methamphetamine is off-patent, meaning there may be less financial incentive for pharmaceutical companies to explore the drug's potential uses. Consider Vyvanse, a drug first marketed in 2007, with a new formulation introduced in 2017, that racked up $2.1 billion in sales in 2017. Desoxyn, which is sold by three companies, only earned about $9.3 million in 2009.

While Methamphetamine may not be widely recognized as medicine, it clearly has potential to heal as well as harm. Recognizing the duality of meth is arguably all the more essential in the face of a rising stimulant overdose crisis.

"Stigma regarding any substance use or substance use disorder is counterproductive," says Dan Ciccarone, professor of family medicine at the University of California–San Francisco. He says the overdose crisis is shifting from opioids to stimulants and that we are not prepared for the next wave. "Stigma is the lens [through] which we see all drug issues. It keeps us from making the best decisions. It is fear-based, not rational, not creative. Because of stigma, we have not fully addressed the opioid crisis."

That stigma remains a major hurdle, and until doctors and public-health officials counteract this kind of messaging, it seems unlikely that a multinational pharmaceutical company would risk marketing a substance only believed to be toxic and deadly.

"Everything will kill you, if you take enough of it," Poulsen says. "Some things don't require a lot to do that. Meth is one of those things. But just like any drug, the difference between a poison and a cure is the dose."

*These names have been changed.

TAGSALZHEIMER'SADDERALLTRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURIESFEATURES & INVESTIGATIONSMETHAMPHETAMINEMETHTOPIC: HEALTH CARE

BY TROY FARAH

Troy Farah is an independent journalist and photographer in California. His reporting on science, health, and narcotics has appeared in Wired, Ars Technica, Smithsonian, Discover, Vice, and elsewhere. He co-hosts the drug policy podcast Narcotica.

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