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#my art#isat#in stars and time#siffrin#yeah i’m an artist *draws the character in the same pose for the 1298th time in a row*#ohhh i wanna finish this animatic so bad#but i am slow and also need to stretch my fingers with other things#like. for example. more siffrin#in a slightly different flavor than how i’d usually draw them
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The man with Yellow Eyes
Wanted to post Gman's new design for my au, Aftermath
#half life#gman#HL Aftermath au#Aftermath Gman#eye contact tw#shmorps art#Aftermath gman is silly I like him. I've been trying to make like. the au characters i make more. different from one another#And the Gmen are an example. they have different clothing and act slightly differently#Like. I think Aftermath gman is more of an observer rather than like. actually interfering with things.#Haven't gone in depth with them yet but yeah-
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okay!! now that it’s not 2am for me, i’m going to post my selkie!jason todd hc’s straight up au apparently!
(uh. this was supposed to just be a list of hc’s but i got slightly,,,, carried away)
his selkie skin looks like an oversized red hoodie in his human form, and is just warm enough to help him survive new england winters.
when the summer heat becomes unbearable, he slings the hoodie around his waist
alternatively, he just coasts it out underwater. perks of living in a coastal city!
willis todd was a selkie. he used to tell jason stories of what it was like to swim through the big, wide ocean. of how freeing it felt. how different it is, from the smoggy, heavy air of gotham --- different, but both theirs, in their own right.
but to be honest, jason doesn’t remember much about the stories he was told, or really, anything about willis --- he had been in and out of blackgate for most of jason’s life, working for two-face to try and make ends meet, before dying.
what jason mostly remembers, are the warnings. don’t let anybody know you’re a selkie. don’t let anybody find your skin. they will find it, and they will use it to control you. even decades later, jason would still remember those warnings.
catherine is the one who teaches him how to swim, who helps him trial-and-error his way into putting his skin on, and learn how to make the transition seamless.
after she dies, jason spends three months as a seal, to just... exist. forget.
although jason technically lives on the streets, whenever he can;t find food, whenever he can’t find somewhere warm to sleep, whenever just being human becomes too unbearable, he spends the night as a seal. he ends up spending more time in the ocean, than on land.
that’s not to say he’s very good at being a seal --- he barely knows how to swim, has to learn how to fish the hard way.
when bruce finds jason stealing his car tires, he marvels over how nice jason’s hoodie is, soft and fluffy even after all of jason’s time on the streets, especially given the condition jason is in, ribs showing from malnutrition, and the worn and raggedy shape of the rest of his stuff.
jason is skittish when he goes to live in the manor, even after a few weeks. he always adopts an expression particularly similar to a cornered wild animal around alfred in particular, alfred, who keeps on trying to take his hoodie away, purportedly to wash it.
alfred eventually gives up on trying to force jason to wash it --- he figures that as jason becomes more comfortable living at the manor, he’ll wind up telling them why he’s so protective over that hoodie, and they can work something out then.
whenever wayne manor overwhelms jason with how big and how decadently expensive all the decor is, jason runs away, run to the ocean.
jason doesn’t actually end up telling alfred and bruce that he’s a selkie --- bruce just has a ridiculous amount of motion alarms, which are triggered every time jason ran off. he had followed jason the third night, and saw him transform.
bruce doesn’t tell jason that he knows, assuming that jason kept this a secret because he didn’t fully trust either of them. he would later learn that he was right in this assumption (a rare win for bruce in terms of emotional awareness)
except jason doesn’t fully trust either of them, even after a few months. bruce impulsively decides to do a few things --- a) tell jason about batman and robin and his crime-fighting secret identity, and b) tell jason he already knows about him being a selkie.
jason is absolutely bamboozled by the fact that bruce knows, and yet hasn’t tried to take his hoodie to control him, or to stop him from playing in the ocean for a few hours.
in fact, (under alfred’s encouragement) bruce offers to take him to the ocean during the day, so he can get “a proper night’s rest that a growing young boy such as himself would need”
jason remembers what his father told him, to never trust anyone, never let his guard down. but bruce has known about jason being a selkie for so long, and he didn’t take his hoodie or try anything. of course he can trust bruce.
and when he tries on the robin costume for the first time, it fits perfectly. just like his hoodie, his second skin. it fits just like magic.
oh, it’s a little loose in some places, the legacy of dick fucking grayson a little heavy sometimes, but he’ll grow into it. he’ll make himself, if he has to.
also, jason finds the fact that even though he’s a friggin’ selkie, his callsign is a bird (a robin, no less) incredibly ironic and funny
being a selkie is actually so useful for vigilantehood. the amount of people who talk freely, openly, and loudly about their drug smuggling plans near the ports is quite frankly, ridiculous.
honestly, towards the end of his robin years, jason remains genuinely surprised nobody catches on to him or his tactics yet. bruce is very proud.
even though jason is safe, has been safe for three years, and trusts bruce with his life, his skin, and everything, old habits are hard to break. so he has his hoodie on when he goes to find sheila.
and anyways, he wants to see if sheila is a selkie too. he’s taking biology right now, and they’re learning about punnett squares. jason’s never met another selkie before, other than willis who he barely remembers. there’s a possibility that sheila knows something, anything, so he has to try.
sheila gets a glint in her eyes when jason mentions that he’s a selkie, tells him that while she’s not one herself, she’s familiar with the myth. she has long suspected that willis was a selkie, she tells him, and she’s glad to have confirmation.
jason positively vibrates with excitement, can’t wait to ask, to pester his mother (mother!) with questions upon questions until.
until.
sheila doesn’t do anything after she gives him to the joker. she just smokes and smokes. and she doesn’t tell the joker about his hoodie, despite how it would have been much easier for the joker to destroy him that way. much more painful too.
small mercies, he supposes, in between hacking coughs that brings blood bubbling up his lips.
after he dies, his hoodie is ripped and in tatters from the crowbar, with burns along the edges from the bomb. bruce has to carefully peel it off his body.
when jason was alive, his magic kept the hoodie in perfect condition, always. even when the rest of him was covered head-to-toe in mud, or dripping sludge from the nasty gotham sewers.
bruce stares at the same hoodie, blood-soaked and mangled, so incredibly dissonant from how he remembered it on jason, when he was bright, whole, and alive.
he can’t stand it. the hoodie that was so precious to jason, that was jason, at the core of him, in this state. dirty and ripped and devoid of the magic jason had exuded.
in a moment of desperation, late at night, bruce asks alfred to teach him how to sew. he doesn’t dare to practice on jason’s beloved hoodie --- instead, he starts with the suits in his closet, grabbing the first one he sees, regardless of price. rips a hole and sews it back together over and over until he perfects his technique.
and then he washes the fabric gently, using baby fabric cleanser and scrubbing for hours upon hours until the last traces of the deep-set brown stain from jason’s blood washes down the drain.
he painstakingly sews the scraps of fabric back together with a red thread, carefully sourced to match the hoodie to try and make it flow seamlessly like it used to.
it doesn’t work, not exactly. despite his best efforts, the creases bruce had carefully sewn together are prominent and thick like scars, littering the soft fabric.
so he gives up. he hangs it over the grandfather clock entrance to the cave in his study. brings it with him every time he visits jason’s grave, because he doesn’t ever want to keep jason’s hoodie away from him, but he also can’t bear for it to get ruined.
dick visits him. a rare occurrence, these days.
dick yells at him, as he is wont to do.
these days, it feels like they spend more time angry at each other than not. dick says that this isn’t right. isn’t fair to anybody, not to alfred, not to himself, definitely not to jason. he rants, jason deserves to be remembered as he was in life, not frozen in death.
perhaps he is right. bruce is not unaware of the state of violent, cutting stasis he is in, this putrefaction of his life. and he is certainly not unaware of how it is affecting the people around him. dick. alfred. the neighbor’s kid, the one who wants to be robin.
bruce tries. not for himself, but for tim. for alfred, for dick. even for stephanie brown, who sometimes, when she smirks just right, or says something with just the right twang, he swears he can see jason in her.
he still can’t bear to put the hoodie away, because jason deserved better than to be forgotten, so he folds it gently and places it in his closet instead.
he also can’t bear to look at it for very long, so he forces himself to every single day.
it’s different from the glass case that houses robin’s tattered suit in the cave --- that, is a reminder of how he failed robin. this, this is salt in a constant, stabbing, festering would, reminding him of how he failed his son.
it was stephanie, that eventually helped him figure out what to do with the hoodie. when she was young, young enough to cry at ripped pants and skinned knees, young enough that her mother hadn’t touched the drugs yet, her mother would dry up her tears, give her a hug and a kiss on the forehead, before patching her pants up.
what not many people know, is that before crystal brown set her mind on becoming a nurse, she wanted to be an artist, first. and so she grabs her old set of embroidery needles, and stitched little designs. dogs and cats. stars and planets. tools and gadgets.
bruce doesn’t react, doesn’t even move, even as stephanie finishes her story. she hangs there awkwardly for a second, stares up at jason’s suit, waiting for him to respond, before shuffling towards the exit of the cave.
thank you, spoiler, bruce manages to croak out.
ah, yeah, she says, shrugging lightly while slouching in on herself, any time, boss. she walks out, and bruce watches her go from the reflection on the darkened computer.
that night, he takes out jason’s hoodie, smooths it out, grabs his threads, and stitches.
he stitches on constellations, argo navis, for jason’s namesake in the greek myths he had loved so much. a tiny seal, playing with beach balls. little books, with quotes on the sides. a robin, big and bold.
he tries to make it as true to jason as possible, not just in death and in bruce’s memories, but as he was in life.
jason wakes up abruptly.
he wakes up in a coffin, cold, alone, and with a gaping hole in his chest. getting dipped in the lazarus pit only made it worse, only made him all the more aware of what he was missing, all the more conscious of it.
he doesn’t bother trying to learn how to swim with two arms and two legs, instead of two fins and a tail. it doesn’t feel the same. it only reminds him of what he’s lost.
sometimes, on sleepless nights that happen more often than not, he wonders what would have happened if he still had a hoodie, still could swim.
if he still was robin.
and he doesn’t have access to the cave anymore, or to the titan’s tower, or the watchtower, and his memory of the past is still patchy and shitty in some places.
so in a burst of impulsivity fueled by the person he no longer is, he prints out photos of robin’s costume from the internet and recreates it on his own.
if his skin is gone, then fine. fine! he’s perfectly perfunctorily aware that nothing about this resurrection of his is natural. if he doesn’t think too much about it, he’ll be alright. his hoodie, his skin, that was something he was born with, a birthright that died with him.
but robin, robin was something that he helped shape. robin was something that he worked for, changed himself for.
and the makeshift robin suit --- it doesn’t fit him, not anymore. no, it feels wrong, like a child playing with their parent’s suit. or --- he realizes, perhaps more accurately, like an adult realizing they no longer fit in their favorite clothes.
and --- and --- what was the point of it all? what was the point, of trying to make bruce proud of him, of getting dick’s approval, of trying to futilely save people over and over again from the same gallery of supervillains who keep on escaping from prison?!
and what was the point of carving out a space for himself if the joker was just going to beat him out of it, and if tim drake was going to insert himself in the hole he left behind?
and then the next thing he knows he’s in titan’s tower hitting tim drake over and over again because who let him? who let him take jason’s role as a son, as a brother, as a hero? how dare he?
but when he’s slit tim’s throat and torn the ‘R’ off his chest, jason doesn’t feel any better. the robin suit still doesn’t fit. his hoodie’s still gone.
he’s starting to think it never will, not again.
sometimes, when he gets tired enough to let his mind wander, he wonders what happened to his suit.
he’s pretty sure he died with it, so either the hoodie is with the joker, batman, or... gone entirely. (it’s not like they found willis’ skin after he died. maybe selkie skins just disappear in a cloud of sea foam once they die, or some little mermaid shit like that)
it’s a cold comfort, that nobody can manipulate him now. nobody can control him --- not even batman.
(bruce had thought about it. when he first had his suspicious regarding who the red hood was, before he knew there was any trace of the son he once had left. he thought about using the hoodie, using jason’s selkie skin to coerce him, at least to stop murdering people, to stop hurting their family.)
(he would never go that far, in retrospect, or at least, he doesn’t think he could ever. to do that to jason, betray his trust so thoroughly and completely... but it would be a lie to say that he didn’t consider it.)
bruce reflects on this as jason reveals himself, the joker tied up at his feet with a gun pressed to his head, and venom spitting from his son’s mouth.
but when he lifts the batarang to hit jason’s gun, or wrist, or anything that’ll force him to drop the gun, he realizes that his hands are shaking.
and when he throws the batarang, he knows a millisecond after he’s let go, that he’s miscalculated the ricochet.
so when jason escapes that night, bruce knows he’s fucked up.
jason goes off the maps, completely. bruce doesn’t know where he is, if he’s safe, if he even made it out of the explosion that night.
it takes weeks. weeks for bruce to track jason down, from meticulously documenting the dropped threads of where the red hood was pulling strings in the gotham underworld behind the scenes, to tracking security cameras with facial recognition.
once bruce manages find where he’s staying, make sure he’s safe, he knows what he wants to do. and, he knows what he needs to do.
jason gets a package in the mail, five weeks after his disasterous meeting with batman and the joker. unmarked, unsigned, no return address.
when jason opens the box gingerly and carefully, he holds on to his skin for the first time in years. and then, and then, and then --- something right slots into place. his fingers brushed gently over the tiny spotted seal he knows he used to look like, the books he remembered ranting to bruce about for hours on end.
the robin, on the top left, over his heart, big enough to have changed him, yet small enough to not define him.
it’s not perfect. it doesn’t even fix anything, not entirely. he still fights with bruce most times he sees him, tries to punch dick in the face, steadfastly ignores tim and steph the entire time.
but it’s something. it’s something, and the next time nightwing, batman, spoiler, and robin fight a gang on the docks, the red hood gives them a helping hand before jumping back into the ocean and swimming away.
fin!
wow this got long
#jason todd#bruce wayne#alfred pennyworth#batfam#selkie!jason#dick grayson#stephanie brown#tim drake#catherine todd#willis todd#that one selkie!jason au#i swear i will turn this into an actual fic one day#anyways about the using embroidery to fix ripped clothes thing all i can say is WATCH HI MOM#it's SUCH a good movie and i guarantee it will DEVASTATE you in ALL your little mommy issues glory#like you think the batfamily comics/fanfics have an amazing nuanced complicated take on the parent-child dynamic?#this movie will BLOW your fucking SOCKS off. and best part of all: you can watch it WITH said parent#and it won't be as horrible of an experience as showing them encanto/turning red/eeaao!#in fact your parent will probably like the movie too and be reminded of THEIR own mommy issues :D#admittedly it's slightly different from the examples i listed above bc it's more abt what it's like to never reach ur parent's expectation#rather than an exploration of complicated parenting but it's still very relatable and very very good#the best part is you can find it all for free on youtube. also note that i mean the recent chinese movie not the old 70s movie#asteria's fics#i'm never writing a fucking flash fic on TUMBLR of all text editors again#shouldve written this out on a google doc first but i genuinely did not think this would get so long T.T#you can probably tell from the first three (3) bullet points that this was supposed to be a hc list before... it stopped being a hc list#guys i started writing this at 12 PM#IT'S NOW 9 AWOGEJAWOIG#my writing
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jews: this thing in fiction feels jew coded to me, this character/group has several parallels to jewish people and i see myself here :)
non-jews: nah, that aint right, its clearly coded to be this other thing/youre stretching so hard to find a connection that isnt there
jews: this thing in fiction falls into antisemitic tropes, this character/group has several common antisemitic tropes that have a long history of being used against my people, and i think we should really consider not using these tropes anymore/consider if theres a better way to go about making the same point without doing it in this specific way
non-jews: nah, that aint right, its clearly coded to be this other thing/youre stretching so hard to find a connection that isnt there
just something ive noticed
#my post#jewblr#jumblr#antisemitism#jewish#me trying to look up both positively(ish) and negatively jew coded characters/groups and finding people saying this EVERY TIME#the draenei from world of warcraft are so jew coded to me. in some ways not great but in other ways i think better#but i can either find few people agreeing with me about that#but even when i find people who agree. theres people replying to them that they disagree!#'the draenei actually make me think more of this other group. therefore they cant be jew coded' shut uppp shut the fuck uppp#they can literally be coded as multiple things LET ME HAVE THIS#AND YES in the very same game we have the goblins and i dont think i need to tell anyone how antisemitic goblins tend to be#the world of warcraft ones specifically...#that said theres obviously way more examples i just have brainrot#also a similar but slightly different issue is when we try to point out antisemitism but are just completely ignored altogether#COUGH AUGHK COUGH COUGH ME ABOUT DOCTOR 15S PREMIERE EPISODE WITH THE BLOOD LIBEL GOBLINS COUGH AUGH#sorry something in my throat#everyone was obsessed with the episode that was about racism but in the same season they had antisemitism and no one cared#👍 thanks tumblr#the racism episode was good. this isnt to take away from that. but we can have both conversations. they can coexist.
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f203881d8924d486845f38bde25ed5c8/ab3c5fe009d53b40-4b/s540x810/99897a2972704a6b643d91fe5a29cc0bfa96faff.jpg)
need i say more 🕴
#back to the future#bttf#marty mcfly#michael j fox#my arts#how do i tag#this was gonna be my post yesterday before i saw the pic of crispin and lea lol. but i still liked it so yeah u guys can have it now :P#me when two marties at the same place on the same day 🤯🤯#also that second outfit is the funniest thing ever#pov ur in 1955. 1st pic when ur parent [read: “uncle”] dresses u vs 2nd pic when u dress urself#he felt so cool for what#silliest boy ever <3#also trying a slightly different style. idk if ill keep it? i was just trying stuff out w simplifying likeness etc#i dont think this is a v good example but i do have a proper headshot that i think actually looks like mjf so like. yah#we will see if/when i post that. im getting really off topic sorry bye
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I feel like if you explained Hal Jordan what being multi gendered or gender fluid was he'd be very confused and then she'd say with full confidence that it's that way for everyone
#hal jordan#i don't think they'd be bigoted just in the way 'everyone struggles with gay thoughts' people often are she'd just be slightly rude because#he is not up to date on earth things esp things not talked about in his environment with the air force and all#i don't imagine test pilots are much different#GA: no? im entirely a man and nothing else for example#GL: ? like all the time? entirely? thats weird. ... Ollie stop laughing
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hm i was wondering. do u prefer british or american humor (as represented thru comedy shows/movies)? (feel free to elaborate in the tags and/or reblog for sample size)
#ill elaborate in a bit#imo a lot of mainstream american humor or at least what i see exists in a sort of. edgelord/''snowflake'' (for lack of a better term) binar#*from the last decade or so that is#where u can either tell any joke u want n b as rude as offensive as u can on purpose OR never joke abt anything that can even slightly#inconvenience anyone in any way or abt anything that has ever hurt anyone which. im not a fan of either approach#n while yes while there r british edgelords (like ricky gervais 4 example) n a lot of popular stuff can b rly offensive#i think they generally balance it a lot better? or at least try n balance it? idk#bc at the end of the day anything u do can offend ppl. u just gotta try ur best to b respectful while still being funny#n im not saying that as anything against ''snowflakes'' or ''snowflake'' humor its just a different approach to comedy
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I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...
Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner
*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)
And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -
TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows
This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).
So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.
Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.
Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.
Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).
But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).
In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.
Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.
Now, doing the same thing for movies-
Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)
That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).
116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.
So, a for broader summary stuff..
I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.
If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.
ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.
I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0
#maybe this is my version of spotify wrapped lol.. Lifetime Media Google Doc Wrapped.. kind of.. except I'm not going over specific titles.#I can't do this with music since I rarely EVER look for new music or add to my Youtube To MP3 folder library as I just don't really#listen to music that often. When I'm working (the majority of when I seek background noise) I need like.. people's talking voices#for some reason. Just instruments and singing are not distracting enough to me to work as background noise because theyre#almost TOO in the background if that makes sense? like if I put music on then I just tune it out and it's virtually no different#than if I were daydreaming stream of consciousness thoughts in an entirely quiet room lol. And I can't really do it with books since#essentially 100% of what I read is non-fiction. usually about some specific subject or academic topic OR stuff like#1800s magazines or cookbooks or historical people's diaries. Which is not really.. the type of thing I would#rank as easily I guess? like 'ooh yeah putting the sociology textbook in my top 5 hee hee right next to the 1920s radio recipes book' lol.#Then for games... I just sadly dont play enough of them. I've been banned from new games as I've told myself I cant play anyting#long form (no rpgs or etc) until I actually finish MY OWN game first - to keep me from wasting time. so on average#I play... 0 new games a year. ToT... I do play the sims sometimes but that's really all (which is not a new game at all since#I've been playing it on and off for years). Thus I guess movies/TV are really the only things that make sense#to collect this sort of information on. I could do youtube videos I guess also but that seems kind of strange like...#giving a rating to every single video I watch in a ranked list lol.. Especially since I would say a good 85% of the time#they are exclusively background noise whilst I'm working on something or cleaning the house or etc. and not things I pay serious attention#to. There are only a few specific topics/types/creators of videos I watch where I'm ACTUALLY sitting in front of a screen paying#direct attention to the content (usually when it's educational or political things). Everything else is too mindless to even rank.#ANYWAY... ever analyzing my little hermit Weird Relationship To Media (in the sense of seemingly not processing or getting the same#things out of it as many other seem to). I think that can contribute sometimes to the whole difficulty socializing and stuff#since our culture is very centered around media consumption generally speaking. People want to talk about The New Movie that came#out or The Big TV Show Of The Year. and for me it's like.. highly likely I just plain have NOT seen it. Or if i have. statistically#I most likely was entirely ambivalent if not slightly negative towards it lol. Which just kind of takes the steam out of a 'fun' 'casual'#conversation and you seem like a bit of a bummer if most of your only feedback is either 'idk what that is' or 'oh yea... i did#see that one.... i didnt like it all that much though... I think it'd be better with elves in it.. and 7 hours longer..'' lol..#Which I am not disliking things in a 'grr i hate it bc its popular'/just to be contrarian way. I actually dislike that mindset/find it#silly (by striving so hard to be counterculture you are thus still defining yourself by the whims of external culture - just in the#opposite direction. but are still just as preoccupied with the mainstream (going against it) as everyone else. etc. lol..)) In my#case I think it IS just having niche hyperspecific tastes.. for example- it peeves me when cell phones are in media bc I dont want to be#reminded at ALL of the real world. so.. cross off anything set in modern times. so on & etc. Judging all things by these weird criteria lol
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points look at my maxis match vs mix simstyle differences
#zoe is a good example for me to do this but if i tried it with caleb i think i would break out in hives#ts4#zoe patel#the angle is just very slightly different because im a moron and had a menu open kms#seph.txt
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this is one of my favorite scenes in the series, and for many reasons, but mostly because of how raw and open it is. Violet’s apology to Anthony is something he’s needed to hear for years, and in this moment he’s just a child needing his mother to be a mother to him. He’s not the head of the Bridgerton estate, he’s not the Viscount, he’s Anthony- Violets son and child, and he needs that motherly touch and hold and to not be the figurehead in this moment in time for once. And in the same sense Violet perfectly encapsulating her grief with Edmund and how it’s changed her entire worldview since his passing, especially in the way she treats Anthony and the rest of the children as a result, is just so well done and executed near to perfection in my opinion. Violets advice to Anthony about embracing the unknown simply to be able to exist in a space with Kate rather than not have that existent at all is so raw and vulnerable. Violet makes it known that even though she carries this weight and guilt with her, she would go through it all over again if it meant she could have the life she loved with Edmund and have the children they did, because it would all be worth it. It’s just a mother and son working through their grief over their relationship and everything that’s influenced it.
#it just makes me so emotional and I feel like we always talk about it for the relationship reasons but not necessarily for the GRIEF#and parental aspects within it.#idk feel free to add your own interpretations and thoughts!#this is an aspect of the books I think Julia does very well#she relates violets grief so accurately and through es h child it’s presented slightly differently#based on how old they were and how close they were to violet at the time#like hyacinth and Gregory for example seeing Anthony as a father figure even tho they know Edmund was their dad#Julia just does that theme specifically so well in my eyes#bridgerton#bridgerton season two#bridgerton s2#bridgerton series#bridgerton spoilers#kanthony#violet bridgerton#anthony bridgerton
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Merry Christmas Newt!
@dont-offend-the-bees You simply said that, if I was inclined to write something, it could involve ghosts or ghost detectives -- so I threw Edwin and Charles of Dead Boys Detective Agency into the Valicer In The Dark verse. ^^; Hope you enjoy your favorite ghostly duo getting very confused and worried by Duskwall!
--
“Mate, I think that last mirror hop went a lot more wrong than we first thought.”
“Really?” Edwin murmured, looking around the misty street where he and Charles currently found themselves. “What tipped you off? The lack of familiar landmarks to navigate by? The frankly Dickensian architecture around us? Or the fact that the moment we tumbled through the glass, we were met by a woman who promptly started screaming ‘SPECTERS! FETCH THE SPIRIT WARDENS!’”
“Definitely the latter,” Charles replied, one hand deep in his backpack as he squinted into the gloam. “What do you think a ‘spirit warden’ is, anyway? Something like the Night Nurse?”
“Perhaps – I don’t recall ever hearing the term before, and unfortunately, as of right now, our library is off-limits to us.” Edwin glanced at Charles. “Perhaps, should we encounter one, I could encourage you not to immediately go in swinging with your cricket bat? The Night Nurse proved able to be reasoned with – perhaps they could too.”
“Yeah, well, I think taking a few to the face and getting swallowed by a sea monster for a bit is what softened her up enough to be reasoned with,” Charles argued, frowning back at him. “And I’m not letting anyone separate us. Not after what we’ve already been through.”
“On that point, we are thoroughly in agreement.” Edwin looked around again – or, at least, tried to. “Even if, right now, I think anyone could sneak up on us and have the advantage. How is anyone supposed to find their way around in this?”
“Guess the locals are used to it.” Charles rummaged around a little. “Know I’ve got your little alchemy set in here somewhere...you think you could brew up something to–”
“...this way, you said?”
“Yes, there’s definitely some ghosts around here.”
Edwin and Charles both froze as three hazy figures appeared at the end of the street, coming toward them fast. “Shit,” Charles hissed.
“Calm, calm,” Edwin said, as much to himself as to his friend. “Again, we might be able to talk to them. Maybe.”
Charles opened his mouth to snap something back – but before he could, the trio were upon them, features resolving themselves into something more definite than mere foggy shapes. They were a bit of a bizarre bunch – a young woman in a black-and-white dress and black cloak, holding a knife that glowed with a peculiar gray light; what looked to be a young man about the same age in a bright yellow vest and black pants, peering at them curiously with what appeared to be yellow eyes (another cat king?); and a second taller, paler man in a black suit and long dark blue coat, wearing a mask that appeared to be made out of twitching moth wings and carrying a pole with a loop at the end in one hand. They stared at Edwin and Charles for a long, quite worrying moment...
Then the fellow in the mask sighed, the tension leaving his shoulders. “Oh – it’s all right,” he told his companions, collapsing the pole and stowing it away in a pocket. “They’re Reconciled.”
“Oh good – I really didn’t feel like getting into an electroplasmic scrap tonight,” the woman said, holstering her blade. She tilted her head as she looked Edwin and Charles up and down. “Though – that doesn’t explain why they’re in full color. I’ve never seen a ghost who wasn’t all blue or gray before.”
“Me either – maybe they’re a new type of ghost?” the other fellow said, before giving them a bright smile and a wave. “Hi! I’m Smiler, and this is Victor and Alice! Just a quick question – you’re definitely not interested in sucking our life essence, right?”
Edwin blinked a few times. “Ah – no,” he finally said. “I’m – certainly not currently inclined to do that.”
“We’re not local,” Charles added, not taking his hand out of his backpack – Edwin was deeply suspicious that it was clutching a certain cricket bat. “Don’t suppose you lot could tell us where we’ve ended up?”
“Duskwall, in Akoros!” Smiler provided, grin not budging. “Are you ghosts from another part of the Isles then? Oooh, maybe from Tycheros?”
“They don’t seem to have any of the usual tells, though,” the woman – Alice – said, squinting thoughtfully. “Victor?”
“I...” The masked man – Victor – stared hard at them, his eyes glowing with that strange gray light Edwin had seen on Alice’s knife. “They’re definitely not regular ghosts, but I’m not sure h-how precisely they’re different. Not hostile, just not – right?”
“Ah – lovely. A mystery for us to solve in the middle of the blind hour on our way back from a heist,” Alice grumbled, folding her arms. “But if they’re sane, then at least we can talk to them. Where do you two hail from, then?”
Edwin exchanged a baffled look with Charles. “We’re...we’re from England,” he said slowly, starting to get quite the bad feeling in his lack of stomach. “And I believe we’ve gone terribly astray.”
#dontoffendthebees#merry xmas#christmas fic#xmas fic#valicer#valicer in the dark au#dead boy detectives#dbda#...I do believe I said in the last post#any excuse to write my Valicer In The Dark AU ^^;#what can I say I really wanted to throw your detectives into a world where ghosts work MUCH differently#(for example everyone becomes one because there is no afterlife#and almost every ghost eventually loses their mind and starts trying to feed on people's life)#Edwin is going to have to take SOOO many notes XD#I watched a compilation of the two being a married couple to try and get a feel for their voices#so hopefully they feel at least somewhat in-character#the one thing I didn't like doing was having to slightly misgender Smiler during this#but Edwin and Charles wouldn't know that they identify as nonbinary would they?#not just yet anyway#...wonder how they'd react#anyway I hope you like this even if it's a bit self-indulgent on my part XD#queued
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What if... Isafrin WALL-E AU...
#This is just an excuse to think about Siffrin with a cool space gun actually /silly#But also 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💖💖💖💖#Their dynamic would be slightly different from the one in the movie tho#For example#I do think Isa would realize what Siffrins mission is and why he needs the plant for it basically almost at the beginning of their meeting#Also Loop should be that one pet cockroach wall-e has /silly#rambles#isat#isafrin
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furthermore going like okay not Sure of timeline things But. concerning bonus material Atlas's Actual Shirts deal
a) that bonus material is bonus material but this sure seems to fall into the [could be canon] &/or [basically is, but unseen within the main material b/c there's not really a place for it there] realms
b) both acknowledging the Marriage(tm) with a critical deconstructing lens huh. the girls & the gays. fucked up that someone might for example have an ongoing Gayce Moment (presumably aro as well, hardly irrelevantly) where their transactional associations must hinge on math, murder, etc
c) appreciating like okay mordecai would've lost everything but the clothes he was already wearing when he had to impromptu hightail it out of nyc, so that's when atlas must've given him his own clothes; this is Definitely Years Later (edit: definitely Months! Perhaps years! plausibly like a year or two! and apply that throughout the rest of this post)
d) when i) mordecai can surely have afforded to replace all the lended clothes & ii) his fumbling to argue the Practical Reasoning behind currently(!) wearing atlas's clothes still means it's Not for practical reasons. years later. while dodging & glaring at & competitive with & needling at atlas's wife. Oh You Know
e) and what a choice on atlas's part to give mordecai his own clothes. sure, that could've been the quickest way to give him Anything to wear (not now bloodstained, for instance) but buying new clothes would be like some possible Next Day shit, or, i dunno, asking around for Other people's secondhand clothes, both of which account for: this being several years prior to when this conversation could've happened, mordecai was how old when he met atlas? 16-18? 21 while we have it that:
this, after the fray at the lodge (noticing for the first time mordecai still has marks on his face from that here. it's been seventeen years Still noticing brand new things. like wick in volume one looking at a group photo in the café ft. the only characters known to us being mordecai, atlas, & viktor. what are you interested in about that hmm???) wherein, with the band on the stage, mitzi with a ukulele, & the dialogue suggesting as much amidst the context that atlas didn't really start being allied with marigold until after the lodge fray proper slaughter, atlas seems to be in the earliest stages of Meeting His Wife here. with his Ferocious Little Shadow. who i also note is looking Entirely Away even as prior i've simply interpreted this as Keeping An Eye Out &/or general disinterest in Anything going on at the speakeasies. competitive to near-homicidal relationship with atlas's ever-present wife....which, remembering what i was getting at in the first place. if atlas's shirts are noticeable big on mordecai at that point, surely all the more so originally. and he kept them! and kept wearing them! for Emotional Reasons Only Actually. goodness gracious.
f) where's the walking on sunshine mitzi & mordecai shopping montage? which did apparently happen, unless instead mordecai then rushed to get new bespoke shirts himself to avoid others Perceiving him judgmentally and the walking on sunshine montage specifically. she gives him a makeover (from buttonups to buttonups. whaddaya gonna do) she asks him for begrudgingly familial makeup touchups....she shares intimate exclusive secrets with him concerning my firm [they were both in on atlas's death, and so would atlas have to have been too] stance....Girl,
g) "atlas and i discussed that" what???? who???? when & why???? mitzi kicking her legs like so tell me about your Ferocious Little Gay Little Two Steps Ahead Shadow. did atlas volunteer mordecai's Entire Backstory as he knew it? did he provide it upon Request? did mitzi ask "why's ya boy wearing shirts that don't quite fit" and atlas goes "oh yeah that's because they're my shirts. i have noticed this without saying anything. for years" like imagine. what's going on around here
h) i forgot how i planned to work in this image of "i love this shot of & Look for mordecai." disheveled freshly wounded undershirt towel suspenders now as fashion accessories over pants Annoyed Sideeye & it Does help that elsa, real fave tertiary character, is here serving as well with the waist pants & putting her hair up & they're both always serving anyways. You Better Not Be Cunty Mordecai when i get over there to fish the shotgun pellets out of your body, Said No One!!!
anyways recap atlas giving mordecai his own shirts (at all genuine or All about trying to spam the [benefactor] key so mordecai sticks around & shoots people for him?) mordecai accepting and continuing to wear them for years until thwarted by atlas's wife whom he is Competitor with and now in one of those classic duos of "do we hate each other? well maybe, but also no of course not. we also share an understanding we can't have with anyone else. which is a secret about the same guy who neither of us wanted to die but were both involved in his death" mitzi Knowing things about mordecai, oh i know all about you wearing my husband's shirts years later, mordecai is at atlas's funeral nobody else we know but mitzi & asa are there obviously mitzi would have to know about this too like. transcendent. fluorescent. head in hands. happy pride
#still overlapping enough with my special little tag that's also really just about These Two; Lord by extension#mitzi and mordecai murder mystery#lackadaisy#we might ask if the most recent animated short has a slightly different timeline?#could be either a) mordecai is recuperating for longer &/or b) mitzi is around earlier. we also don't know that she's Married to atlas#by that point. i think the ''now that i'm here to stay'' remark in the comic implies she is. but could be Affianced for example#there's the Familiarity in the short that speaks to ''she didn't Just get here''#but a) still doubt they had the Longest courtship anyway & b) mitzi maybe also manages to get on friendly terms w/many ppl quickly#eta: okay thanks to input mordecai would have been wearing atlas's shirt for Months; perhaps about a year
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it’s so weird to think that ryuji was only a major character in one canon game. like he’s such a strong character with such a strong personality it doesn’t feel like he was only prominent in one canon game at ALL. he feels almost as ever-present and beloved as someone like daigo and yet he’s basically never even mentioned after kiwami 2. that’s so crazy to me.
#am I saying bring ryuji back? yes. end of statement#same goes for mine to a slightly lesser degree. and somehow yokoyama agrees with me on both of these I think#I am biased in a way because I am one of the few who has been lucky enough to play dead souls but. yeah#those two are also just good examples of antagonists that are almost comically malicious but still somehow have depth under the surface#and redeemability. in a way. not saying mine bulldozing an orphanage is Forgivable im saying he Did start to have a change of heart at the#end of y3 so he’s Capable of change and whatnot. and ryuji’s just a bully who takes his feelings out on other people usually physically#like he’s very much a teenage bully in the body of a gigantic adult man.#cause he never had to grow out of that. no one challenged him/his views/etc enough to do so. until the end of yk2#AND IN DEAD SOULS ITS JUST A FACT THAT HES GROWN AS A PERSON AND MATURED.#it’s somehow a DRASTIC difference in personality from him in yk2 and yet still believable because of how much in his life had to change#and because he is like. the adult version of the previous ryuji. I know ryuji was already 30 in yk2 but you get my point. he wasn’t grown up#not really. (same goes for daigo- they’re such obvious foils for one another it’s so interesting and I wish it was explored more but ANYWAY)#ryuji#yk2#rambling
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i finished the grammar book i was reading. now what do i do with my life
#look. i didn't think i was going to read this 250 page pdf cover to cover. but i did. and it DID take over my brain#what's sexier than an ambiguity in a construction for comparison of adjectives!#what's more delicious than discovering i probably misinterpreted a particular sentence particle#because all along it was actually a slightly different sentence particle that sounds the same except for its tone#and i'm still very bad at recognizing tones with more than 50% confidence!#*#i'm not kidding when i tell you i feel like i just finished a really engaging immersive novel#easily the goofiest response i've ever had to what's just a long summary of grammar rules and examples. even for me this is new
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Ohhhh i now remember why i got shy about talking abt ocs
24/7 fear that someone will tell me my ideas are cliche/stupid/bad in some other and it will hurt more bc these are my own creations and not just fun and play
#kurjatxt#i was trying 2 explain some stuff and i was immediately like#:/ does this feel like some kinf of weird hype for ancient mysticism and does that go into promoting the current day false ideas plaguing#people that make them drink unpasturized milk :/#is this too based on my view on magic from my enviroment bc it is based on my personal experience on seeking safety in#nostalgia and playing w the idea of balancing what you get from the past and integrating it into the future vs. just being stuck in the#past vs. the danger of completely rejecting the past told through the lense of smth i loved as a child: fantasy/magic/fairytales :/#and could be alienating and immature and demeaningly simple to other people who grew up in an enviroment already more inclined to#this kind of balance :/#or is me thinking about this demeaning to people bc i should be able to trust them to see what i make as silly ramblings by some random#tumble user just exploring their own experiences through story instead of trying to make some large sweeping statements about#the world and its reality :/#or is it bad of me to be careless about bc of COURSE i should put the upmost care into what i put out into the world and make sure that#everything i make is inclusive and as accessible to as many different types of people to relate to :/#or is that dumb is that limiting to art and am i giving a bad example and furthering the idea of people#havibg to make everything as palatable to everyone as possible JUST in case that nobody gets even slightly hurt or annoyed :/#man being a creator is hard OOPS that is also an evil thing to say being a creator is the luckiest thing you can ever be and ur just beinh#a whiny bitchbaby :/#<-#all that just. a small portion of the overthinking#and yk what it started from?#thr statement '<#in this world magic can be kind of more compared to how modern science is approached'#THAT SENTENC3#I AM SO STRESSED ABOUT#WhY IS MY BRAIN LIKE THIS!!!! I DONT KNOW!!!#sorry this is prolly the longest tags ive ever put on a post sorry to whoever opened the see more for this#its just. i think tj3 first tim3 ive been able.to expresw the circles my brain does and its kind of therapeutic#maybe i should start writing these circles down more often so i could see how dumb they rly are on paper#instead.of fretting inside my heae
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