#(even the dark knight was kinda 'meh' for me. it was a good film and heath ledger was fabulous but it didnt make me FEEL anything)

[bougiebutchbitch]

I can't fucking believe you got me back into Batman again... Only problem, the Joker tag is full of character hate. :/ Typical.

Honestly, agreed. I'm never cool with putting hate in character tags or :stares at the Joker tag: tagging your weird Danny Phantom murder fantasies with the character you're graphically killing.

Buuuut....

While I still don’t agree with tagging that hate, most of the versions that people really seem to hate on are Leto Joker (which I totally understand because... ugh, the way he acted on-set was gross) and the darker, abusive and predatory comic versions. Again, understandable.

I love Lego Joker and Telltale Joker, who are both canonically little meowmeows who have done no harm to anyone, ever.

(Slight exaggeration. Shh.)

Telltale in particular is one of the only portrayals of his character as both queer, mentally ill and violently inclined (with the potential to hurt a lot of people) without demonising queerness or mental illness! That's really cool! I'd honestly dare anyone who hates his entire character to play through the Vigilante ending of Telltale and insist that every single version of Joker is an irredeemable shitbag? He's a guy who's been fucked over by the world, who gets emotionally & physically abused by his psychiatrist, who gets tossed out of an institution with 0 memory of what it's like outside and no framework for survival...

There is no happy ending  to his story. There's only one ending that hurts less, and one that hurts more. Either way, people get hurt. There's something kinda poignant about that.

As for the comics... every writer writes him different. How can folks hate the whole character when there are so many interpretations, between White Knight and Death of the Family and Europa and... etc. etc. etc. I love my murder-clown in some comic runs, even when he's completely amoral and unhinged and kills for fun. In others, just... meh. Especially when they try to make him  Dark And Edgy, rather than fun and bright.

This is all to say... rest assured that anyone who outright hates the entire character with 0 nuance probably hasn’t engaged with any Joker media outside of the films, the shitty incel fanbase and a few of the darker comics. There's so much great stuff out there and he's (sometimes) an awesome queer icon, albeit one with very bloody hands. I wish he wasn't so overused in the comics - I think he'd be a lot more appreciated by the fandom if they DIDN'T always toss him into the mix, and let a few good writers handle him. But isn't that true of all characters in Batman? :shrug:

So - yeah, I rarely dip my toes in his tag because there's so much hate, but I can at least console myself that this hate is directed towards specific, narrow interpretations of the Joker that I myself am not especially fond of.

Although with that being said, I think people should love whatever interpretation of his character they want to love. A big shout-out to people who do like the darker comic personalities, or Leto-jokes. You guys get a lot of stick, but keep on truckin’! You do you, and I’m sorry about the haters!

[nora-durst]

i have a list just like arya stark that i recite to myself at night except instead of people i want to kill it's film critics i used to respect who have abandoned me in favor of the m*rvel cinematic universe

[kylo-but-not-to-me-ren]

Thoughts on The Rise of Skywalker

Just a disclaimer that this post contains TROS spoilers 

Hi there, it’s me again sharing my views on the latest Star Wars as a Reylo, fan and former film student (the latter may show at some point but it’s mostly a fan view). 

I had pretty high expectations for this movie and I was not not happy leaving the screening, but I had some things that I thought would go down differently so here’s what I think. 

Rey

I really like how organic Rey and Kylo’s connection and intimacy is portrayed in The Last Jedi, and J.J. expanded a bit on that which I think it’s very nice (and apparently they can teleport things via ForceSkype now which is an interesting take but I understand the reasoning). 

One thing that I didn’t really like is that Rey is a Palpatine. I’ve seen one theory on this and it makes sense now, yet I was a great supporter of the theory that Rey was really a nobody, that she came from nothing like Kylo said. She could’ve been just like Anakin who didn’t have either Jedi nor Sith ancestors. 

On a more positive note, Rey’s conflict with herself is an ongoing theme in this trilogy and I believe it was really well developed and has come to a satisfying conclusion. I felt like she was a bit lost in the beginning and I thought it was going to be an issue later on but thankfully it got better before it was too late. 

Also Rey is so goddamn powerful and strong with the Force I love her so much.

When Rey and Kylo are battling in the old Death Star and she stabs him with his own lightsaber but then she feels Leia’s gone and immediately realises what she has done and without second thought she kneels to heal Ben crying. My heart exploded I felt so many things at once I can’t explain. 

“I wanted to take your hand. Ben’s hand.” hsdcsgfyufgyufgeryfcgeif i died. 

The ForceSkype teleporting feature I ALMOST FAINTED BECAUSE I GENUINELY THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING TO KILL BEN INSTEAD OF PAPLS WHEN THEY EXCHANGED LOOKS I WAS SO RELIEVED AND HAPPY WHEN SHE GAVE HIM ANI’S BLUE LIGHTSABER. 

DARK REY WITH HER DOUBLE RED LIGHTSABER. 

THAT YELLOW LIGHTSABER. I WANT IT. NOW. 

Also maybe that “I am all the Jedi” line is a nudge to Avengers: Endgame? (*cof* hi Disney *cof*) 

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo 

Next up is ma boi Kylo Ben, who has been my favourite character this whole trilogy and hell Adam Driver portrayed him so wonderfully. In TLJ he grew so much as a character, not only as a villain but a person who went through a lot, has an abusive master and is constantly being haunted by the guilt of killing his father. 

To start this off, I want to talk about those first scenes. OH MY GOD KYLO TAKING ALL THOSE PEOPLE IN THE FOREST IN SLOW MOTION AND HIS SOLO JOURNEY TO EXEGOL. After that I got mad at Palps when one of his first lines was “I have been every voice you have ever heard inside your head” because it means Ben has been manipulated his whole life and didn’t really have a choice other than turn to the dark side. 

Kylo’s arc is by far my favourite and in my (completely biased) opinion the best written one. When he’s introduced in TFA, he’s a promise of a new Vader but he’s not quite there yet. Kylo has conflict inside him, a spark of light still, and to put out that spark once and for all he’s instructed by his master to kill Han Solo, but as we’ve seen it has “split his spirit to the bone”, to quote Snoke. 

Later on in TLJ when the ForceSkype starts we begin to see more of Kylo’s vulnerable side, specially when Rey is talking to him in the hut. Kylo takes his fcking glove off to take Rey’s hand and that’s when Reylo became canon and you can’t change my mind. 

Fast forward to TROS, Kylo is already the Supreme Leader and he’s as strong as Rey (but most likely more skilled because he had extensive training while Rey had only a few lessons and read some books?) and they are Force Dyads which makes them absurdly powerful together. 

One thing I noticed is that every time Rey and Kylo claim to have seen the future both of them are always on the same side, either Dark or Light, but always together. They’ve never mentioned a future where they are apart and/or on different sides. *all the Reylo feels*

Then when both are battling in the old Death Star and Rey stabs him but heals him shortly after and Ben is ready to let Kylo Ren die to become Ben Solo again is brilliant. And that dialog with Han made me shed a tear or two. (a random side note is that I got a tiny bit upset when he threw his lightsaber away because his lightsaber is so cool and I just got one myself but I absolutely understand the need to get rid of it). 

I WAS SO HAPPY WHEN MY BABY BEN SOLO BURST INTO PALPATINE’S CHAMBERS (?) WITH ONLY A BLASTER AND LOOKED SO GOOD. Also I almost cried when he took the blue saber and beat the shit out of the Knights of Ren. 

LITERALLY THE RISE OF SKYWALKER. 

BEN HUGGING REY’S BODY RIGHT BEFORE RESURRECTING HER. 

“Ben”

THE KISS. THAT SMILE.

BEN SOLO DESERVED BETTER. 

And yes, I believe Ben Solo isn’t truly dead and Rey can help him come back and they can live happily like they deserve to be. 

Thank you Adam Driver for being the highlight of this movie (and dare I say, trilogy) and bless us with amazing acting. 

Poe Dameron 

I love Poe, he’s great and I loved that they gave him more screen time and I get they were trying to build another trio like in the OT but maybe making Poe, who was already a great pilot like Han also be a former (spice) smuggler is a bit much? We could use new characters and it’s okay if you wanna recycle the idea but please don’t make them identical. 

Another very important point is why do you need to make up a female love interest for Poe when there’s clearly one already? During the whole movie I felt a sexual tension between Finn and Poe just not to have them together in the end, I was very disappointed. MAKE STORMPILOT CANON YOU COWARDS. 

Finn 

To be honest, Finn is not one of my favourite characters and I believe it’s mostly due to poor writing. Finn is a great character and had so much potential being a deserter of the First Order but his arc wasn’t so well developed in the trilogy as a whole and one of the arcs I least enjoyed in TLJ was Finn and Rose’s adventure in Canto Bight. It all felt like a distraction even though they were doing something seemingly important but failed at the end. 

In TROS, Finn finds a group of other Stormtrooper deserters and I thought maybe it’d push his storyline forward but not so much. I was a bit disappointed but there were also lots of other things happening that I didn’t pay much attention to Finn, one of the reasons being that I already didn’t care much about him before so now it was kind of meh. 

I said it before and I’ll say it again, MAKE STORMPILOT CANON. 

A positive thing on Finn is that now they explored how Finn is Force-sensitive and now he finally realised he doesn’t need to run away and is willing to fight. 

Rose Tico

As I’ve mentioned before, her arc with Finn wasn’t my favourite in TLJ but that’s okay because you can’t make everyone happy all the time, yet I saw many people complaining about her character and even Kelly was attacked that she left social media. And now there were so many complaints that they decided to basically ignore Rose and she’s in like three scenes. 

I don’t think they even gave a plausible explanation why Rose couldn’t come along with Finn, Poe and Rey other than the fans didn’t like her character and they were trying to recreate the original trio. 

General Hux

Well, to be honest I was almost certain he would die at some point but killing him off like that? He deserved a bit of dignity. But his scenes were funny, which I’m not sure if it’s good or bad because he’s a First Order general so... he’s supposed to be more serious, I guess? 

As weird as it is, I kinda get his motives for being the spy, to see Kylo Ren fall so he could ascend to the Supreme Leader position, but things didn’t work out but at least we got a bit of that Kylux tension, right? *sigh* 

Knights of Ren 

One of my great disappointments of this movie.

They didn’t say a word, were only referred as murderers (not sure about the word exactly but it was something like that), had a couple of fight scenes and died. I wish they made an appearance in TLJ but they were only mentioned in Rey’s vision and Snoke mentioned them once but that was it.

They had some really impressive costumes and weapons, though. 

Overall a great movie, lots of nostalgia, would recommend.

So there it is, my thoughts on The Rise of Skywalker after watching it for the first time. Please feel free to share your thoughts as well and let’s talk :)

[nathanneedsausername]

The MCU (So Far) Ranked

With Avengers: Endgame right around the corner now feels like a good time to talk about all 21 films that brought us to this moment.

#21 -  Thor: The Dark World (Alan Taylor) 

Rating - 3/10

Look, there always has to be one.

Thor: The Dark World suffers from the same problem that most bad comic book movies do it is simply forgettable, this is the worst type of film to write about because I have noting to say. Far from being insultingly bad but also far from being any good. Honestly if you ever plan on cramming these films again do yourself a favour and skip this one.

#20 -  The Incredible Hulk (Louis Leterrier)

Rating - 4/10

You can skip this one too. 

The Incredible Hulk is a product of its time, in the late ‘00s this was about as good as action movies not called The Dark Knight got. This one isn’t unwatchable and the bit were The Hulk kicks Tim Roth into a tree is pretty cool but given how little this film has effected the franchise going forward you really wont miss anything by skipping it.

#19 - Iron Man 2 (Jon Favreau)

Rating - 4/10

I get why they made this movie, but I’d rather they hadn’t.

Iron Man 2 is basically just a teaser trailer for the better movies that were about to come out. This movie consists of boring conversations between Tony Stark and Nick Fury and even more boring scenes with the villains that really kicked of the cliché that these movies have boring villains. The suitcase Iron Man suit is really dope though.

#18 - Ant-Man and the Wasp (Peyton Reed)

Rating - 6/10

Meh.

Ant-Man and the Wasp is actually pretty good. Paul Rudd is allowed to fully explore his comedic talent making this a very watchable film however the script lacks any focus and it is ultimately difficult to stay invested in anything happening on screen. It’s a mixed bag but it’s pretty fun.

#17 - Thor (Kenneth Branagh)

Rating - 6/10

Kenneth Branagh made a super-hero movie, this is about as good as that idea could ever have been.

Thor is a surprisingly small movie, revisiting this film now feels slightly strange given what we have since seen of the character. Branagh was always the wrong choice to direct a Marvel movie especially during a time were the studio had far more say than any of their filmmakers. It’s worth revising this film to set up the Avengers but other than that it isn’t anything special.

#16 - Avengers: Age of Ultron (Joss Whedon)

Rating - 6/10

It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that this movie is just ok.

Avengers: Age of Ultron should be so much better than it is but it ended up being the poster child for when a studio gets cold feet and tries to take over on directors vision. Joss Whedon is an excellent story teller but this does not so off his talents at all. Once again this certainly isn’t a bad film it just isn’t great, there is some good dialogue and the introduction of both Scarlet Witch and Vision is worth seeing.

#15 - Captain America: The First Avenger (Joe Johnston)

Rating - 7/10

Way more camp than I remember .

Captain America: The First Avenger feels as though it has taken the framework of a more conventional war drama and just thrown in some superhero stuff and I don’t necessarily think that is a bad thing. When this film embraces its campness it can be very entertaining. Chris Evans was a prefect casting choice for Steve Rodgers and this film does go in an unexpected direction by making Captain America basically just a mascot but once again the villain is weak and large sections of the plot are forgettable. Overall worth re-watching it is probably better than you remember. 

#14 -  Captain Marvel (Ryan Fleck, Anna Boden)

Rating - 7/10

I’m sorry, I like this one.

Captain Marvel might be the most controversial film in the whole franchise. I have some grievances with this one, namely lack of any style or originality in the writing or direction but the chemistry between Brie Larson and Samuel L Jackson helps to make this an enjoyable watch. I know you probably don’t agree with me but this is my list and I like this movie, so there!

#13 - Iron Man (Jon Favreau)

Rating - 7/10

Not as great as I remember but still pretty good.

Iron Man will forever be remembered as a film that changed cinema witch is so weird to me having re-watched it recently. This is a rather slow and somewhat  cliché 2000s action flick with a paper-thin plot. Robert Downey Jr. and Jeff Bridges both give it their all and I have nothing but respect for Jon Favreau for turning RDJ’s mad ramblings into a coherent film.

#12 - Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (James Gunn)

Rating - 7/10

I’m still not sure how to take this.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is the most visually stunning film in the MCU, almost every shot could be used as a laptop wallpaper. This also has quite possibly the strongest theming as its story about fatherhood and toxic relationships can bring a tear to your eye if you let it. So it is such a shame that this film is full of jokes that just do not land and weird side plots that feel like set-ups for movies that Marvel would probably never let James Gunn make. I kinda love this movie but this is as high as I can put it on this list.

#11 -  Captain America: Civil War (Anthony Russo, Joe Russo)

Rating - 8/10

The fight scene though!

Captain America: Civil War is one great fight scene that is all anyone ever wants to talk about. I think the rest of the movie is also pretty good, this was our first look at how the Russo brothers would handle a larger ensemble cast and every character gets the screen time they deserve. Really though the airport fight is amazing!

#10 - Doctor Strange (Scott Derrickson)

Rating - 8/10

The word Strange is in the title.

Doctor Strange has a remarkably safe plot given the source materiel, although that can all be forgiven given how amazing the visual effects are. This is a very entertaining film mainly for the creative and ingenious uses of special effects. This film can drag a bit but it is worth it to see something that gives the end of 2001 a run for its money.

#9 - Iron Man 3 (Shane Black)

Rating - 8/10

And you thought my views on Captain Marvel were controversial!

Iron Man 3 is great and I will not change my mind on that. This was the first team up between Robert Downey Jr. and screenwriter/director Shane Black since 2005′s Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and it was worth the wait. The dialogue is sharp and the plot with Tony Stark dealing with P.T.S.D. after the events of The Avengers makes for a great character study. 

I am aware that the general consensus is that the plot twist sucks but with Ben Kingsley’s fantastic performance and the wonderfully absurd way that it is reveled I can’t help but love it. In all honesty I just to big a Shane Black fan to hate this (the same logic does not apply to The Predator).

#8 - Ant-Man (Peyton Reed)

Rating - 8/10

I can only image how great the Edgar Wright version of this would have been.

Ant-Man is so much better than people give it credit for. The dialogue is constantly funny and the screenplay is paced perfectly so that the film never has a dull moment even in the quieter character scenes. Moments like the train-set fight and the first time Scott Lang uses the Ant-Man suit are among the best scenes in the whole franchise. Like most people I have to believe that the Edgar Wright version would have been better but I must say that Peyton Reed did a pretty great job piecing what he had together.  

#7 - Black Panther (Ryan Coogler)

Rating - 8/10

Marvel’s little awards season darling.

Black Panther is somehow one of the most important and talked about films of the decade and in all honesty it sort of deserves it. Coogler does what other MCU filmmakers would never do and dives head first into real world political issue, ending his film with a poignant note about free trade and open borders. Michael B. Jordan as Killmonger adds a nuance that is missing in most comic book movies. Overall Black Panther is a breath of fresh air in an over-saturated genre. 

P.S that soundtrack is awesome!

#6 - Thor: Ragnarok (Taika Waititi)

Rating - 8/10

How did this happen?

Thor: Ragnarok is everything I wanted it to be. Taika Waititi is one of the most interesting filmmakers working today and it is great to see a major studio allow such a unique voice to make the exact film that they wanted to without sacrificing their creativity. This is not only one of the best Marvel films but one of the best straight comedies of the decade. I cannot wait to see what Waititi has in store in the future.

#5 - Spider-Man: Homecoming (Jon Watts)

Rating - 8/10

Things are looking up for Spider-Man.

Spider-Man: Homecoming was my favourite Spider-Man movie up until very recently. This genuinely feels like watching an 80s John Hughes film in the 2010s that also happens to action sequences in it. The scene where Peter Parker and Adrian Toomes are in the car together is brilliantly tense and shows of the dramatic range of both Tom Holland and Michael Keaton. The characters feel real and fleshed out and the breezy feel of the editing brings the world to life through the naive eyes of a young Peter Parker. I honestly can’t believe how good this ended up being.

#4 - Avengers: Infinity War (Joe Russo, Anthony Russo)

Rating - 9/10

This simply should not have worked.

Avengers: Infinity War is one of the most ambitious films in cinema history. I have so much respect for the Russo brothers for managing to make a film with this many characters and this many plot points feels cohesive and endlessly entertaining. I think the real triumph of Infinity War is how watchable and fun this movie is despite being 2 1/2 hours long, full of characters and constantly hitting you in the face with really depressing stuff. Let’s hope that the Russo brothers can pull of the same trick twice. 

#3 - The Avengers (Joss Whedon)

Rating - 9/10

This movie isn’t given enough credit anyone.

The Avengers was a huge gamble back in 2012 and although it may now feel quaint given the achievement that was last year’s Infinity War Joss Whedon was able change the landscape of blockbuster cinema and make this whole thing possible. Almost every plot point in this film has since become cliché, Whedon and Feige laid out a blueprint for success that no one else has been able to copy since. The Joss Whedon humour and snarky dialogue  helped to pave the way that these characters would interact in the future and his unique approach to  utilizing an ensemble cast makes this film worth revisiting over and over again.  

#2 -  Guardians of the Galaxy (James Gunn)

Rating - 9/10

James Gunn hit the mainstream with a movie about a talking raccoon, I can never complain about the Hollywood system ever again.

Guardians of the Galaxy should not work on most levels but Gunn was just crazy enough to pull it off. The character interactions here rival the Wheadon penned interactions in The Avengers and the Gunn’s direction brings the strange worlds he has created to live in striking ways. Gunn was given a chance to showcase his humour and he ran with it, Guardians goes from dark and meandering to fun and rapidly paced within seconds and it is a complete joy to watch no matter how many times you have seen it.

#1 - Captain America: The Winter Soldier (Joe Russo, Anthony Russo)

Rating - 9/10

The Russo brothers came out swinging.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier is an entertaining, tightly directed, brilliantly acted, fast paced and well edited action film that just so happens to be a squeal to the First Avenger. Many of the best moments in the franchise are in this film including the elevator scene and the fight on the bridge, this film also has great character interactions especially with Steve Rodgers and Nick Fury. This feels like an update on classic James Bond stories with a modern edge, this is everything that a comic book movie could be and I highly recommend checking it out again if you haven’t seen it in a while. There is no question that The Winter Soldier is the best of the MCU.

Franchise Rating - 7.1/10

Nathan Needs A Username’s Must See Movies: https://letterboxd.com/nathan_r_l/list/nathan-needs-a-usernames-must-see-movies/

Nathan Needs A Username’s Avoid At All Cost Movies: https://letterboxd.com/nathan_r_l/list/nathan-needs-a-usernames-avoid-at-all-cost/

[atamascolily]

An incomplete review of the Star Wars EU/Legends canon

I never thought I would say this, but I'm actually very thankful there will never be another Star Wars EU/Legends book in the old - now non-canon - universe. I've been revisiting those books recently as part of my recent Star Wars kick, and let me tell you, I stopped reading them just at the right time - when Vector Prime came out and they killed Chewie off. It's all downhill from there.

Anyway, the Legends universe is a hot mess, but for me, the five Thrawn Books by Timothy Zahn - Heir to the Empire, Dark Force Rising, The Last Command, Specter of the Past, and Vision of the Future - are amazing and totally canon in my heart for pretty much everything. Everything else is pretty much "meh" except for a few books that evoke some late '90s nostalgia (because really this blog is all about late '90s nostalgia).

So in my head, Luke and Mara Jade are happily married, and so are Han and Leia; their three children, Jacen, Jaina and Anakin, are all happy-go-lucky teenagers who can use the Force with their besties - Tenel Ka of the Hapes Cluster, Chewie's nephew Lowbaccha, and Tahiri Veila - and getting kidnapped/saving the galaxy every few months. The New Republic is alive and going strong on Coruscant (which never gets invaded by aliens from outside the galaxy), Luke runs the Jedi Academy on Yavin IV; the remnants of the Empire are scattered and disorganized and sue for peace with the New Republic and Captain Pelleaon finally gets the retirement he deserves. It's really great.

But let's face it, I read just about all of the books published prior to 1999 because I was a Star Wars geek and that's just what you did in the late '90s. (They were New York Times best-sellers so I know I wasn't the only one.) In general, I love the art on the books because it looks just like movie posters for films that were never made and that's exactly what I wanted.

Random thoughts on said EU/Legends canon cut below, for length:

-Ben Kenobi's last appearance to Luke in the Legends AU: "You're not the last of the old Jedi... but the first of the new." (TAKE THAT, DISNEY EPISODE 8!) -Awesome things from the Thrawn books: Mara Jade - check. Talon Karrde - check. Art as a major form of military strategy - check. Secret commando ninjas - check. Leia's title as "Lady Vader" - check. Borsk Fey'lya -check. Camaas Document macguffin-thingy- check. Ysalamiri - lizards that block the Force - check. Vornskrs - Force-sensitive predators - check. Insane Jedi master- check. Lots of clones - check. Lawful Evil Imperials - check. Mara fulfilling her orders to the Emperor in the most badass way possible in The Last Command - check, PLEASE. -Jacen, Jaina and Anakin Solo forEVER! -Also, Coruscant and New Republic forever!! -Shadows of the Empire: WTF, Xizor/Leia sex pollen (okay, pheromones) seduction scene???; Dash Rendar is a Han Solo expy, you're not fooling anyone.   -Truce at Bakura: wow, Ssi-ruuvi are full of Fridge Horror, powering their tech with human life force; maybe the Imperials aren't so bad after all; Luke and Gaeriel have no chemistry and also her entire religion is against the Jedi on principle, and she's not interested in changing it for you, Luke, sorry; of course Dev dies after his redemption arc; watching the force-ghost of Anakin Skywalker try to talk to Leia is amazing, because Leia is so not interested in his shit. -The Courtship of Princess Leia: I love the Hapes cluster, but man Han buying a planet in a card game and kidnapping Leia with the Hapan Gun of Command (pretty much what it sounds like) is NOT OKAY; Teneniel Djo is awesome and so is Dathomir in general. Isolder is okay once he gets over Leia, which takes most of the book. Also on the cover on one edition, Leia looks like Sarah from Labyrinth during that dream sequence with Jareth - what? On the other, she's wearing her Endor outfit, as are Han and Luke and there's a Rancor there, too for no good reason that I can recall.   -Jedi Academy Trilogy: Yay getting to see the Kessel spice mines; I'm not so into the Sun Crusher and the Maw Installation, but Qwi Xux and Wedge Antilles are adoreable together, poor Admiral Daala and Imperial sexism (yet another reason Tarkin is an asshole); yay for a Jedi Academy on Yavin IV; Kyp Durron seriously needs to chill, Luke's in a coma for a lot of the series, Exar Kun is not as clever as he thinks himself. -I, Jedi: I'm supposed to like you, Corran Horn, and I'm just not interested and your narrative voice is kinda annoying.... Just sayin'. -The Crystal Star: super weird and trippy, Han and Leia's kids are kidnapped by "The Empire Reborn", which is as dark and terrible as it sounds, Crystal Star explodes, do not read. -The Black Fleet Crisis: super dark and trippy, especially the Yevethan culture; reveal that Luke's mother was one of the Fallanassi - pacifist Jedi who hid when the Empire was formed - only it turns out to be a huge macguffin, which is too bad. -Children of the Jedi: EVEN TRIPPIER AND DARKER THAN THE CRYSTAL STAR, HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE; Luke gets a love interest who's a Force ghost trapped in a ship's computer; sacrifice, body-swapping, creepy song motifs. -Darksaber: Hutts try to build a Death Star, what can possibly go wrong? Luke's new Jedi girlfriend can't live without her force powers when she loses them, so she leaves him. -Planet of Twilight: Luke goes chasing off after Callista and they don't get back together, so that's good. Also dark and trippy.   -The New Rebellion: SUPER DARK AND TRIPPY, LOTS OF MASS MURDER, NOT A FAN. Thank goodness for Mara Jade and Talon Karrde showing up with ysalamiri to turn the force off so Leia can shoot the Evil Dark Jedi behind it all with a blaster. I can't believe I read this. -Ambush at Corellia/Assault on Selonia/Showndown at Centerpoint: also weird and trippy. Han has an evil identical cousin. Luke has to go back and ask Gaeriel for help (she's married now and it's awkward). Lando tries to marry for money and after some awkwardness ends up with Tendra Risant, who is awesome. Lots of things blow up. Kids save the day at the last minute. -I only read one of the Junior Jedi Knights series, Lyric's World, about young Anakin Solo and his friend Tahiri, taking some time off from their Jedi studies to help a friend metamorphose into a new life stage, and I remember it being really charming, despite the inevitable intelligent secret animal sidekick. I later learned that Anakin and Tahiri were kinda an item and then it went horribly wrong in New Jedi Order so I'm glad I didn't read that. -Young Jedi Knights: yay young adult Star Wars novels from the '90s; I  stopped reading after Diversity Alliance, but these were fun - especially Tenel Ka, who was a badass, and I quietly shipped her and Jacen (and then that ALSO ended badly in later books - why can't we have nice things?) Especially good in my memory: Shadow Academy (trying not to get corrupted to the dark side at an academy for Dark Jedi), Lightsabers (Tenel Ka has to deal with losing a hand during a training accident); Diversity Alliance (aliens get pissed off at human dominion in the New Republic government but decide that killing the humans off is the only way to achieve justice).

We're not going to even go into all the stuff that happens post-Vector Prime, because it is truly awful. Go look it up if you're curious.

I did read a few stand-alone books this week, though:

-The later Zahn novels lack the spark and vigor I remember from the Thrawn books. Scoundrels couldn't keep my interest. Allegiance and Choices of One feel very weird to me because Luke and Mara manage to work together without actually meeting each other. Survivor's Quest ought to have been good except somehow Luke and Mara encountering the Outbound Flight expedition was BORING and it shouldn't have been. It's not clear if reading the follow-up novel set during the Old Republic era - titled Outbound Flight - will help with this. -Also, I dislike the retconning so that Mara and Luke make references to Naboo and the Trade Federation, which they didn't do in earlier books, and also Thrawn's major motivation for everything is getting the galaxy ready for the impending invasion of the Yuuzhan Vong in New Jedi Order, which I just - really don't like, especially since NJO was pretty awful. -Also, there are an awful lot of Jedi healing trances in Survivor's Quest, which are only tolerable because the code word that Luke and Mara use to snap each other out of it is "I love you". D'aww. -Also, perhaps this is just me reading too much fanfic, but would it hurt to have at least an allusion to the fact that Luke and Mara have sex on occasion - in addition to snuggling and having Force mind-meld sessions? I'm not asking for porn, mind you, but just anything beyond platonic Force buddies would have been good. -Kenobi, by  John Jackson Miller was another, relatively recent Legends book that ought to have been good. I mean, it's Obi-wan Kenobi hanging out on Tatooine, dealing with Tusken Raiders and moisture farmers - I eat that sort of fanfiction up - but although there were some good bits, it just really didn't work for me. -Those handy timelines in the front - listing every single book and how it fits into the convoluted chronology - is really helpful, though! The only thing that would make it better would be to add authors and dates. But that is what the Internet is for, I guess.

Conclusions and Follow-Up Questions to Research:

-Wow, the '90s were an interesting time. -Bantam Spectra line of EU novels: mostly good, some weirdness. Del Rey line: ARGHHHHH. -Wow, there are a lot more Star Wars books out there then I remember. -Wow, Mara Jade is awesome. -I have a lot of strong opinions on the subject. -Since they stopped putting out Legends novels as of April 2014, I never have to care about keeping up with canon or anything I don't like about this universe ever again. -Has fanfiction spoiled me for the "real" thing? Or is it just a failure of the published works to address the topics I'm REALLY interested in? -Is the Disney EU canon any better? (My guess, given how I feel overall about the direction of the recent movies: probably not for me, but maybe worth checking out.)

[the-ace-of-space]

As a whole I didn’t think that TLJ was the greatest movie ever made but there were some really powerful scenes esp. with Leia and Leia.

Spoilers under the cut

The Good:

The opening sequence with Poe was iconic to say the least. (All of Poe’s scenes were highlights)

All of Leia’s scenes were fantastic.

Rose is the ANTIFA hero we deserved. (Wish they hadn’t killed off her sister :( )

FINN JUST WANTED REY TO COME HOME SAFELY :’)

The visuals during Vice Admiral Holdo’s light speed collision with Snoke’s ship was insane.

I CAN’T BELIEVE LEIA DROWNED IN MOONLIGHT, STRANGLED BY HER OWN BRA (Seriously though that was one of the best scenes in the entire franchise)

dON’T get me started on the last scene with Luke because that was the since best scene in all of Star Wars.

The scene with force ghost yoda was great. “Who can be the most petty?” 

Luke and Kylo’s battle was sick as hell. Luke was looking on point. High Fashion TM. THAT was Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. 

POE DAMERON IS GAY AND IN LOVE WITH FINN AND NO ONE CAN CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE (”Finn? Naked?” and when Finn held him after the explosion? GAY)

Thank god R*ylo’s dead

The Meh:

Overall, Luke was a tad too dark early on in the film?? but i mean he has had some serious shit happen to him. (Rey kinda ‘redeemed’ Luke in a way I guess??)

I would have liked some better/more Finn/Poe/Rey/Rose interactions. Seriously, will the whole gang ever actually meet?

Also would have liked more focus on the actual good guys instead of watching Hux get slammed around by Kale and Snoke so much like ??? 

The Bad:

Read like a bad R*ylo fanfiction!

The forced R*ylo overtones were so bad (Fuck Rian honestly)

The shirtless scene w/ Kyle Ron was unnecessary and bad to look at (see above)

Stormpilot still isn’t cannon even though they have the best dynamic in the series rn (Finn’s face when Rose kissed him was not the face of a straight man and Poe’s obviously in love with only Finn)

That cave scene with Rey was..........bad (and confusing)

I was really confused at some of the missing plot:

The 12 missing students from Luke’s Temple (?)

Wasn’t there supposed to be more that 1 ‘Knights of Ren’ like where they at?

What happened with Snoke was v confusing and didn’t really resolve anything? There was no further expansion on his character at all?

The scene w/ Rey and Kale talking about Rey’s parents seemed VERY forced to me (in addition to adding fuel to the R*ylo fire) and I honestly don’t feel like it was true?