olemannen

[that-one-raccoon]

rosie ♡

[ambrozjas]

i need ponyboy Curtis headcannons 😭😭😭

ponyboy romantic hc’s ꨄ︎

✧˖*°࿐ notes 🧸ᰔᩚ

im assuming you meant romantic? but if you didn’t, feel free to drop another request in my inbox if you meant platonic or general hcs :)

✧˖*°࿐ warnings ᰔᩚ

nothing much, just pony being a lovesick dork

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄

❥ i need to get this off my chest because i KNOW its true

❥ but ponyboy would totally use the first letter of your name for a variable in algebra

❥ you can’t prove me wrong

❥ but anyways

❥ another thing about pony, he loves to read

❥ i fixate on this one hc sm in a lot of my fics, BECAUSE ITS JUST SO CUTE???

❥ whenever you guys wanna go out, darry usually has two-bit come with you guys

❥ but he isnt really a good supervisor considering his drinking habits 😭

❥ pony’s the type of guy who’ll write you poems or cheesy love letters but then scrap them and put them in a box that he’ll never give to you

❥ pony gets moody outta nowhere for like no reason

❥ like one second he’ll be okay and then next he’ll be bitchy

❥ he just gets in a weird mood sometimes i guess?

❥ not the biggest fan of pda considering he wants to look tuff, and isnt the most physically affectionate person either?

❥ i dont mean that as in a “i hate cuddling” way, i mean it in like a..

❥ “too-awkward-to-say-anything-and-is-as-stiff-as-a-board” way

❥ i think reading to you while you lay on him is the best option, so that he has something to take his mind off the fact that your body is on / near him

❥ just your face alone will make this man blush lmao

❥ if it’s after the events of the outsiders, ponyboy will never let go of you

❥ yeah, he’d walk you home before

❥ but after everything happened, he’s constantly on lookout

❥ do NOT feed this man bologna 😭‼️

❥ but anyways back to the cute hc’s

❥ steve, soda, n twobit def make fun of you guys whenever you two are just lounging on the couch

❥ sometimes darry’ll even make a teasing remark about it

❥ if you can’t get along w johnny, you cant be w ponyboy

❥ a lot of dates would probably include johnny actually 😭 (and twobit)

❥ you’d just be at the drive-in, so close to ponyboy your thighs would be touching and he’d lean over and ask

“whaddya think so far?”

“‘s alright.”

❥ and then he’d turn over to the other side and ask johnny the same thing

❥ overall, pony’s a sweetheart

❥ has no idea what he’s doing, but a sweetheart

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ tell me why my sister told me im legit a fem version of ponyboy curtis when i had read the book 😭

kiss kiss ˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

[wildernezz]

woahahaha im finally making an intro blog no wayyy, also dont mind me spreading my reblog > likes agenda

about me:

hey ho im wildernezz and we be ballin af. i'm an osdd-1b system and i might be more open about that later but i also maybe not who knows lol. i do animation, edits, writing, regular art, kinda anything art-related honestly, but i usually just post digital art here. pronouns are whatever tf you want but i prefer he/him. here's some other random stuff i can rattle off: infj, gemini, i like witchcraft, once made an album that currently has 200 pictures of joe keery because i thought it'd be funny, also once restarted the soviet union in 6th grade, currently making a presentation on david aames' mental stability for algebra, overanalyzing film is my only real personality trait, and i think bugs are funny-looking. anyways we vibe.

fandoms:

multifandom as all hell, but here are the ones i'm most consumed by currently and you can expect to see a lot of.

Dead Poets Society

Death Note

Homestuck

Musicals (BMC especially) & Film stuff in general

other fandoms that i'm also a part of but post less frequently about:

Camp Camp

Eddsworld

My Little Pony

Sanders Sides

Stranger Things

Undertale

there's a boat load of other fandoms but i don't engage that much in those so they're not entirely worth mentioning.

feel free to ask me for doodles btw. im always looking for ideas loll.

links:

here's some other places you can find me but they're honestly not that important since i'm only really active here.

abandoned youtube #1

semi-abandoned youtube #2

also abandoned twitter account

surprisingly not completely abandoned ao3 account

my spotify & pinterest if you want those ig idk this is all i got guys

also this other side blog where i analyze people from time to time: @analyzing-people-like-hell along with my cringier side blog @nezz-cringe-crib

friends!!:

here's some of my friends who are very cool and you should check out :3

@awesomejedie (all kinds of cool thingies!!!! i think of it as a silly treasure box filled with random goodies :33)

@b0cc (posts many awesome art stuff :D)

@chick3nbot1000 (reblogs fun stuff and every now and then posts fun random stuff)

@dandebbfan (posts random cool stuff about her interests that are fun to see)

@saucelys (FUNKY ART PERSON WHO DOES FUNKY ART THINGS AND OTHER STUFF AAAGAGAGA)

thats all i can think of rn. i'll probs add more later but for now we ball B)

[tgifridaysisdaycare]

(Read this in the tone of a teacher chuckling along to the kids' jokes but asking them to get on with their work)

On a more serious note, I do think it's important to try and keep NSFW stuff out of general fandom spaces. Especially when it's about real people. If you wanna post about how much you want (x celebrity) to fuck you on your blog? Go ahead, it's your blog! That's your space to shitpost whatever the hell you want! But it's important to remember that people scrolling through general fandom tags dont necessarily want to be exposed to it. Not only sex-averse asexuals, but also minors who use the site who shouldn't be seeing that kind of stuff, and people who get intrusive thoughts about NSFW topics. The whole point of tags is to share your stuff with like-minded people, but not everyone who peruses the tag for (x celebrity) wants to see NSFW stuff about that person. You shouldn't have to scroll past smut to get to the cute gifsets you like! The internet isn't a safe place, but its important to try and make it as safe as you can. Now, go on, get on with your algebra.

Disclaimer

I think it's important to note that when I say NSFW I usually mean like smutfics and that kinda thing that havent been hidden under the little barrier doodad that I forgot the name of. If you click on something NSFW that has been covered, to uncover it with the intention of reading it- that's on you. Not the person who wrote it.

(Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk)

[helloiammeows]

so i had this sub today in my algebra class, this sweet lil old lady that tried her best, and she used my deadname the whole class bc i usually dont go by my chosen name in that class but in the middle of class she got a note that was written to my preferred name and i had to get it so she stopped me after class and asked me what it was and it went something like this:

her: so i had i question, if you dont mind. you said you had a preferred name?

me: yes

her: and that means your bisexual?

me: no ma'am.. its actually transgender

her: oh!! oh thats what it is! thank you so much!

and my heart melted. we have hope guys!!

[adj444]

NOV. 10 ‘22

FRENCH: tv vocab that i could literally not care less about, went thru some comps that she apparently assigned, i have got to make a move on with the exercise questions due monday eek eek

MATHS: just walking thru the cubic functions and graphs again before midterm pt. 2 tomorrow, used the class to revise on laws of indices & peeked at algebraic fractions

ART: so much NOTHING and got literally no feedback except “do the work” and i can’t even take my sketchbook back till everyone’s are graded so instead i worked on my romanticism notes a little and did this chart up 4 joseph turner

AG. SCIENCE: lawttsss of figures today, working thru ch.8 and nutrients & deficiencies. also i finished my c/n cycle diagrams yaaaaaay

nitrogen = component of everything i.e. atp, dna, chlorophyll; deficiency -> slow, small, pale green/yellow leaves

phosphorus = growth, reprod, cell prod, seed formation & dev; deficiency -> no fruit/flowers, purple-blue leaves

potassium = protein synth & translocation of carbs; deficiency -> scorching (chlorosis) on leaf margins, low fruit sugar content

sulfur = amino acids, deficiency -> upper chlorosis

magnesium = chlorophyll, deficiency -> lower chlorosis

micronutrient defencies are iron -> pig anaemia; copper -> curled deformed wheat ears, swayback in sheep; cobalt = pine disease in cattle + sheep

soil testing tests for nutrients, lime requirement, ph, vaild for 5 yrs = correct application & quantities of fertilizer, sustainability of soil for a specific crop; soil index goes from 1-4 low-high based on fertility (very low-sufficient/excess) and predicted response to fertilizer (definite-none) & every 2-3yrs; soil samples by soil auger 10cm deep x20 in W pattern, dont sample for lime before 2 yrs & P, K for 3mos

improve SOM via catch/cover crops (otherwise would lie fallow = winter fodder, soil for market, ploughed into as green manure), crop rotation (includes grassland, reduces erosion), organic manure/comp/ferts, straw (ploughed into soil -> nutrients), mintill (cultivation breaks up aggregates and downs SOM and SOC- mintill slows loss of organic matter)

earthworms = org matter -> humus (fertility), burrowing -> channels (aeration, structure, drainage), layer mixing (bring organic matter deeper), worm casts (fertility, beneficial bacteria)

ENGLISH: went thru key moment #8 w/ canon and key moment #9 = kitchen morning talk, SAD basically canon has the power to help heal sb/gar relationship thru his profession entailing communication and aid and love but he fails at this role so hard, materialist, casually misogynist, prompts sb so weak its not even considered prompts && next morning gar talks to sb and wont stop talking about little things before bringing up the boat question but sb does not remember = in gars mind has proved he does not love him 

[kookingtae]

the equation of love (pt. 10)

pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5 | pt 6 | pt 7 | pt 8 | pt 9 | pt. 10

professor yoongi x uni student reader

→scenario: When you met Yoongi in a club, you thought it was fate that brought the two of you together. But after you walked into your college math class for the very first time, you weren’t so sure anymore.

→genre: smut | fluff | angst

→word count: 10.5k

→a/n: alternatively: fuck it, it’s been five years and this wip has been staring at me for three of them, so im just gonna post it. i have not read this over since 2018, so pls dont judge me too harshly hhsdg it’s unedited and probably a bit cringy, but then again what ch of teol isnt? this is NOT all that i have planned for the series, but i figured something is better than nothing, right? and perhaps the saying better later than never applies here, too. maybe one day i’ll finally get around to finishing it (by then im sure no one will even be around to remember what teol is lmao) but until then, enjoy what ive been sitting on! and as always, if you’re still here, thank you for your endless patience and support with this series <3

→another a/n: after this will probably be an epilogue!

→tw: mentions of blackmail, r*pe and sexual assault (we mostly just get closure on the whole professor lee & jun situation!!)

→warning: this chapter is not a happy ending, but it’s not necessarily a BAD one either, so for those who don’t like to finish on an unhappy note, it’s up to you on whether you’d like to read it or wait for the epilogue to be posted!

Running water.

It was such a simple yet fascinating concept—atoms and molecules coming together to form the only substance on earth that has a natural state in all forms, while having the power to kill in three different ways. Solid, by hypothermia; liquid, by drowning; gas, by suffocation. This substance can take three different forms, yet it's most commonly a liquid, covering nearly 71% of the world with translucent bodies of water. Oceans, ponds, lakes—though the most enchanting of them all were rivers. They were always moving, crashing beyond rocks and bustling with the flow of the current and gravitational pull of the earth. Rivers were passionate, and strong, and no matter how hard one tried they couldn't break the whipping tide that was pushing against them. Nothing could cause the powerful force to falter.

But, like most things, even rivers must come to an end. The current stops flowing, and the waves stop breaking around the jagged rocks, and the powerful force that seemed it would never end dulls to a still, calm lull, as if the river was nothing more than a brief yet raging storm. All the passion, all the fight—over in a blink of an eye, left to dissipate into the mysteries of the vast ocean.

Staring down at the picture on the cell phone screen in front of me was like getting pulled by the current of a river; down, down, down I flowed until there was no river left around me and I was left stranded in the middle of the sea. Yoongi and I were once raging, and passionate, and ready to fight against anyone who tried to tear us down, but now the fight was over. We had been dragged too far, fading into a body of water that was not our own. This was bigger than us.

Yes, like the flow of a river, all things must come to an end.

"That's it," Yoongi gritted his teeth, and I felt the dip of the mattress beneath me as he rose to his feet in anger.

"Yoongi," I called his name in a warning tone, warily standing up from the bed and watching him move around the room. "What are you doing?"

"I'm over it," he said, hastily throwing the first articles of clothing he could grab from his drawers over his body. "I'm done dealing with all of this, Y/N! I'm going up to the school."

Despite the flare of determination that sparked in my heart at his words, his rage seeming to radiate off of him and onto me as well, I couldn't help the trepidation that I was also filled with; Yoongi didn't have a history of making rational decisions out of anger.

"Don't you think you should calm down first?" I offered, trying my best to match his pace around the room.

"No!" Yoongi suddenly skidded to a halt in front of me, his eyes wild and crazed. "I'm going to find her and I'm going to fucking kill her!"

I could only stand with a gaping mouth and watch as he stormed out of the room, leaving me with no choice but to pull on my old clothes and chase his stomping foot steps. He grabbed his keys before storming out of the apartment, down the stairs, and outside into the parking lot. I tried to ignore the blindingly bright sunlight as I squinted my eyes and continued after him.

"Follow me up to the school," Yoongi barked as he hopped into his car.

"Yoongi–" I started, but my consoling voice was cut off by the slam of his door. I frowned, scrambling to unlock my vehicle as his engine roared to life.

The drive to the university was a nerve-wracking one. I kept a watchful eye on Yoongi to make sure he wasn't speeding or swerving all over the road; they say you're not supposed to operate a vehicle while you're upset. Though it would seem my efforts were futile, because he did in fact speed and swerve, and all I could do was frown and try to keep up.

It wasn't that I wasn't angered by Professor Lee; I was furious, rage and disgust and frustration all stewing inside of me like a pot of water that was ready to boil over. But I just couldn't help but worry for Yoongi. I had always been the non-confrontational type, always hoping that with a little time things would get better if they were ignored long enough. But it would seem that my method was proven inefficient today, because as much as I had tried to ignore her antics, that wicked woman wouldn't stop at anything to make sure Yoongi and I were properly dragged through the mud and going down like a ship engulfed in flames. Yet as much as that angered me, I couldn't bare the thought of the turmoil it was causing Yoongi. I didn't know when I had started casting my own feelings aside and putting his above—it was a gradual thing rather than one, defining moment—but it was only another factor that proved how much I actually loved this man. And that very thought instilled a fear that shook me to the very bone.

We had a lot more to lose now than just his job and my education. We could be losing us. And that was more important now than it had ever been before.

Once we arrived at the university there were a lot of screeching brakes, messy parking and fumbling hands as I scrambled to catch up to his looming figure that seemed to stalk towards the building at an unnatural pace. The pounding of my heavy heartbeat was what drove me forward, anxiety rising with each quickened step that I took.

"Yoongi!" I yelled once I had lessened the distance between us, now dead center on the campus sidewalk. "Yoongi, wait!"

All of a sudden he whirled around, his abrupt halt causing me to crash straight into his chest. I let out a yelp in surprise, eyes wide and ready to interrogate him, before I felt the smooth curvature of his palms on either side of my face as he tilted my head up to his and slammed his mouth onto mine.

The world stopped spinning for a moment, everything around me fading into the motions of his plush skin, his soft lips exploding with flavor and spilling over my tastebuds, satisfying my thirst in a way that no water ever could. I didn't even question it for a second before I was melting into him, quite literally becoming putty in his hands as the rest of the world instantaneously escaped my mind.

It's funny the way that worked—the way he was able to completely erase everything that had once existed in the blink of an eye, just by his simple touch. Whether it was magic, or I was just that fucking whipped, I didn't know. But either way, I didn't possess the power to stop it even if I wanted to.

When Yoongi finally broke away, he was breathing heavily, his breath fanning across my face in cool puffs of air. "I don't care what anyone thinks anymore," he spoke onto my lips, his forehead pressing against mine with a firm force. "Let them see. The only thing I care about is you."

It was then that I was suddenly aware of our surroundings, the reality of our world crashing down around me as I glanced around at all the eyes watching us. It varied; there were those choosing to spare us a glance as they walked to and from their classes, those who stalled their current actions to lift their heads to us not once, not twice, but three times, and then there were those who stopped altogether, their widened eyes and slackened jaws dead giveaways that they knew exactly who Yoongi was: Professor Min, Algebra 101 instructor.

A stroke of his thumb across my cheek brought my attention back to him; I stared up into his eyes, the desperate look in them captivating me and making it impossible to look away. His chest was rising and falling beneath his shirt, his fingers were grappling at my face as he brushed my wisps of hair out of the way, silently begging me to understand, to agree with him.

And in that moment, I knew what I had to do.

My lungs were filled with a breath of newfound determination, dazed and driven by Yoongi's words and embrace. "I love you," I spoke with conviction, caressing the nape of his neck as if to give him more reassurance. "Let's go.”

With that I grabbed his hand, holding my head high for the rest of the campus to see as I started up Yoongi's stride towards the school's building. He was right beside me, weaving his fingers through mine and giving my hand an extra squeeze as if to say that he was here, that he was proud to let the world know that I was his and he was mine, and that he wasn't going anywhere.

We were going to take down Professor Lee.

The seminar room was empty of students when we stormed in. Seats were placed throughout the floor, papers were scattered on the desks, and Professor Lee was at the front of the room, fiddling with the cords from the projector screen.

At the sound of the door opening, her head snapped up. "Well well well, look what we have here," she smirked when she saw us, making no plans to move as she saw me marching over to her. "You know, I really don't think–"

Slap!

The impact of my palm to her face cut off her words, skin on skin contact crackling through the room and echoing into a deafening silence.

Professor Lee gasped, immediately grasping where a red mark was now forming on her cheek before looking up at me with wild eyes. "You just slapped me!" She cried in disbelief.

"You're damn right I did," I gritted my teeth, taking a threatening step towards her and raising my palm. "Want me to do it again?"

It was then that I felt Yoongi's hand on my back, the feeling having an instant calming effect over my senses whether he wanted it to or not. I sighed before visibly relaxing and lowering my hand.

"You're barbaric!" Professor Lee was foaming at the mouth, still holding her face with a slack jaw. "Are you forgetting that I'm a professor? When Dr. Kim finds out about this, I swear he'll–"

"Tell him!" I roared as loud as my vocal chords would let me. "Tell whoever, tell the whole world, I don't fucking care! I'm done with your bullshit, you selfish psychotic witch!"

With that I gave her one final shove against her shoulders, and when both of her hands flew out to grab ahold her surroundings in an effort to keep from falling over, I planted another slap right across her face. The impact stung my hand, but I didn't care. Seeing Professor Lee stumble through the air was worth it.

"Baby," Yoongi spoke in a gentle yet warning tone next to me, and I had almost forgotten he was there until I felt his grip slightly tighten around my waist. It was a comforting hold, as if to say he completely trusted and supported whatever I chose to do in this situation, but still a protective hold nonetheless. He wanted to make sure I wasn't going to get myself hurt.

"You know, what is your problem, exactly?" I tilted my head at her as she struggled to get her bearings straight. "Is there an actual reason you're doing all of this, or are you just mentally insane?"

"It–it's not right!" Professor Lee stuttered with wide eyes, raising a shaky finger to point at me and Yoongi. "Your relationship, it's–"

"Oh cut the bullshit, Sara," Yoongi let out a sound of disgust from beside me. "We all know that's not why."

"I... I..." she stumbled for words, wide eyes glancing back and forth between the two of us. "Who do you guys think you are? You can't just storm in here and start attacking me–"

I took a menacing step forward, pure rage making up for what I lacked in intimidation. "Are you fucking kidding me?" I fumed, reaching out to grab her again.

"No, please!" She suddenly cowered before I could get to her, shielding her head away from me with her arms. "I—Yoongi, I'm in love with you!"

Her confession sent me reeling backwards in a downwards spiral, my body instantly going limp as I watched her with a dumbfounded expression. A vast silence echoed throughout the room that could be cut with a knife before she finally spoke again.

"Ever since you started working here, I knew you were the one. I just knew it." Her voice was sad, exhausted now, and a look of defeat washed over her features.

"What?" Yoongi gaped in disbelief. "Sara, that was two years ago!"

"I know!" She spat harshly. "You don't think I know that? For two years, I had to deal with this silly crush I had on you. I had to spend every day with you, watching it bloom into love overtime, and there was nothing I could do about it."

"You could've just told me!" Yoongi exclaimed as if that was the obvious answer.

Professor Lee snorted humorlessly. "Yeah, and be made a fool of? No thanks." She lowered her eyes to the ground.

"Sara, we're grown adults. You could've acted like one and fucking said something to me about it, made a move, anything but drag my career under the bus!" Yoongi's voice was strained now, his eyes wide as if silently begging her to understand him while he was equally trying to understand her.

"I was going to!" She lashed out again while whipping her head up towards him. "I was working up the courage to ask you out on a date, and then I see that fucking slut on your lap and I–"

"Don't you dare call Y/N that," Yoongi suddenly growled, pushing past me and stepping towards her intimidatingly. "One more thing out of your mouth about her and I swear to god I will kill you right here, right now."

My breath hitched in my throat at his threat and I couldn't help but weave my arm around his to grab his hand, intertwining our fingers and squeezing tightly. He gripped mine back even tighter, as if he was desperately trying to latch onto whatever calming effect I seemed to have over him.

Professor Lee swallowed, choosing to stay silent and watch him carefully as jagged breaths rose and fell from her chest. "The point is," she continued on, "I saw you with someone else—someone who wasn't me. And that completely tore my heart to shreds."

"So the only solution is to ruin our lives," I chimed in sarcastically.

"I may not have gone about it the best way," she quickly gritted her teeth and shot me a glare before turning her attention back to Yoongi, "but I had to act on instinct. I still wanted to be with you, so I figured that maybe if I split the two of you up, you would have no one else to turn to but me."

Yoongi just stared at her, his face scrunched up in a mix of confusion and disgust. "Do you know how sick and twisted that is?" He asked.

"All I ever wanted was to be with you, Yoongi," she pleaded, her tone vulnerable now as she took a tentative step towards him and started to raise her hand up to caress his cheek. "I still do. It's not too late; we can leave now, just you and me and forget this whole thing–"

"Don't fucking touch me," he knocked her hand away with his forearm just before it could reach his face. "If you think I'm going anywhere with you, you're even crazier than I thought." He then stepped back to wrap his arm around my waist and pull me securely into his side. "I'm in love with Y/N, and I don't give a shit what rumors you or anyone else wants to spread about it. You're fucking pathetic."

At that moment there was the sound of a door bursting open, causing the three of us to turn our attention to the entrance of the room. There, standing in the doorway, was Dr. Kim.

The sight of him immediately deflated the elation I was feeling from Yoongi's words, instantly replacing them with a sense of anxiety and fear that lodged its way into my throat until I was sure I would die from suffocation. This was it; according to the text from Professor Lee, he had already seen the picture of me and Yoongi kissing. This was the moment that would decide our future forever.

I just hoped we had enough evidence against Professor Lee for him to take our side.

"So let me get this straight." Dr. Kim folded his hands on the dark oak wood of his office desk. "Professor Min and Y/N had relations before Y/N became a student here, while Yoongi was unaware of her age?"

"Yes sir," Yoongi nodded his head in assurance.

"And then you continued your relationship, even after finding out that she was your student."

"He didn't at first," I interjected in hopes of getting some of the heat off of Yoongi. "He tried to call it off, but I kept pushing it. The reason we got back together during school was my fault, not his."

Yoongi's eyes met mine from the chair next to me, his gaze seeming to hold the words that silently spoke that's not true, and I instantly knew what he was thinking. In actuality, he had been the one to give me after-school tutoring on that Saturday during the homecoming football game, not I. He had been the one to kiss me first that day. But there was no way in hell I would ever tell that to the dean.

"I don't care whose fault it is; all that matters is that it happened," Dr. Kim frowned. "And it's still happening if I'm not mistaken, correct?"

"I... um," my eyes flickered to Yoongi, every fiber of my being starting to fill with panic. Shit, we should've discussed this beforehand. I wasn't going to willingly rat Yoongi out, no matter how many times he's said he didn't care anymore if people knew about us.

Suddenly I felt the warm, soft sensation of skin wrapping around the curvature of my hand that was resting atop the wooden armrest. "Yes, it's still happening," Yoongi spoke, and then his fingers were intertwining with mine.

I practically choked on my own spit at his words; did this boy have a death wish? A cough came sputtering out of my lungs, the sound causing everyone in the room to look at me until I'd settled down. Even Professor Lee leaned forward from her seat on the other side of Yoongi, bewilderment written all over her expression as she gave me a look of disgust.

"Well there's your proof right there." She threw her hands up in defeat before gesturing to the two of us. "What more do you need? Expel them, Dr. Kim."

"B–but that's not it!" I suddenly exclaimed and lurched forward, feeling the heat of everyone's stare on our embraced hands, which in turn only made me grip him even harder for support. "Dr. Kim, you have to believe me when I tell you that Professor Lee has worked hard to make my life a living hell ever since I got to this school. She had a vendetta against me; she's in love with Yoongi, and so she–"

"That's not true!" Professor Lee screeched.

"She worked to turn people against us rather than coming to you because she wanted to blackmail Yoongi into being with her," I ignored her interjection and continued. "She even made a seminar about it—the mandatory seminar that everyone attended today!"

The dean turned his attention towards her. "The seminar about the importance of practicing safe sex?" He questioned in bewilderment.

My eyes practically bulged out of my head at his words; that's what she was telling everyone it was about?

"It was!" She scrambled in defense. "I mean I... I may have brought up Yoongi and Y/N as an example, but that's only because they fit the part! Y/N had a pregnancy scare not too long ago, and I didn't want the same thing to happen to our students!"

I felt the color draining from my face, blanching it a stone cold white and decimating any feeling I had left in my body.

How the fuck did she know about the pregnancy?

My head instantly whipped towards Yoongi to see if he had any logical explanation for this, and his face was as poised and stoic as ever in front of his two colleagues—but I could see through it. I knew him well enough to catch onto the slightest falter in his blinking, the increase in heat that collected between our palms, the small twitch of his mouth that would've gone unnoticed by anyone else who observed him. I knew there was no way he could've told Professor Lee about the pregnancy, because he was just as blindsided as I was.

Dr. Kim simply raised his eyebrows in interest before turning back to Yoongi and me.

"Dr. Kim," Yoongi spoke, his voice dripping with amusement, "I mean no disrespect, but do you honestly think that if Y/N had a pregnancy scare, we would tell Sara about it? Come on; not after all she did to us."

"They—they didn't tell me!" Professor Lee huffed out a desperate breath. "I overheard them while I was–"

"While you were what?" I interrupted with a raise of my eyebrow. "While you were spying on us to find any blackmail you could use on Yoongi?"

"N–no!" She stuttered, though at this point it was obvious that she was making up lies on the spot. "While I was walking past the classroom!"

"Why would we be talking about that with the door open?!"

"Enough!" Dr. Kim barked, his deep voice rumbling throughout the small office. We all grew silent as we turned our attention to him. "There will be no arguing of he said/she said in my office," he scolded, then turned his attention to Yoongi before speaking. "I understand that there was someone you wanted me to see?"

Yoongi, who had remained calm during all of this, simply nodded his head before releasing my hand. "Yes, sir," he said as he stood up and walked towards the door.

My eyebrows were knitted in confusion as I watched it all transpire: the words exchanged between the two men, Yoongi rising out of his seat, the sight of my biology professor being revealed behind the closed door. The whole thing came as a surprise to me, and my emotions seemed to be having a war between the shock and relief that I felt raging like a storm in the pit of my stomach.

Why didn't Yoongi tell me about Professor Park being involved in this discussion? When did he have time to ask her to come? Did it even matter at this point?

"Professor Park," Dr. Kim widened his eyes, his frame physically reclining back in his seat. "I'm surprised to see you here."

"As am I to be here," she smiled though her voice was venomous, eyes flashing to a very alarmed Professor Lee.

"Mia?!" The woman barked in disbelief at her friend's entrance. "What are you doing here?"

"Something I should've done a long time ago," Professor Park replied, and with that she turned towards the dean and opened her mouth to speak.

"I'm here to testify on the behalf of Min Yoongi and Y/N."

Earth-shattering elation rippled through me from the inside out, starting at the base of my toes and spiraling to the top of my head and the tips of my fingers, causing them to tingle and buzz with a newfound sense of hope. We might actually have a chance!

"What?!" Professor Lee's voice ripped through the air in a deafening screech. "This isn't a court case! You don't get to play witness!"

"Actually, if Professor Park has witnessed anything, I would definitely like to know," Dr. Kim chimed in, raising an eyebrow towards my biology professor.

Professor Park nodded her head towards him in appreciation before speaking. "A few months ago Sara approached me in my classroom to tell me about the nasty rumors that were surrounding her and a student. She singled the student out, saying to purposely damage their grades because they were treating her unfairly and disrespecting her rules and authority as a professor; she even went so far as to say that they were sending her death threats"

"What?!" The word ripped from my throat faster than I could blink as I stared jaw-dropped at the women in the room.

"That's not true!" Professor Lee instantly protested as expected. "Sir, I can assure you that I never–"

"I have the text messages if you want," Professor Park offered in a tone so nonchalant one would've thought she was conversing about the weather.

Dr. Kim raised an eyebrow. "Text messages? I thought you said she came by your class?"

"She did, sir." Mia interlaced her fingers in front of her and bowed her head politely. "We spoke about it on multiple occasions. I asked why she wouldn't just go to you, or even the authorities if the student was making death threats, but Sara was adamant. She didn't want any scandals revolving around her so that she could maintain the level of professionalism that she had developed here."

I heard a snort coming from next to me, and it was with a swollen heart of pride that I realized the sound came from Yoongi trying to hold in a laugh.

Professionalism? Her? I had never heard anything so far fetched in my life.

Sara simply glared as Mia ignored him and continued. "She assured me that the best way to deal with this pesky student was to slowly start to fail them, and I'll admit, I was angry for her. Sara was my friend, and I respected her enough to believe what she was telling me and follow her requests." She turned her head to where I sat on the other side of Yoongi. "That student was you, Y/N. And I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for the way I handled things. You were treated unfairly and poorly due to false information."

"It wasn't false!" Professor Lee jumped in to defend herself, but everyone was pretty much ignoring her. Even the dean could tell she was playing the part of the boy who cried wolf at this point.

"I'd like to see those text messages, if you don't mind." Dr. Kim reached his hand out expectantly.

There was a brief moment of silence while Professor Park nodded and tapped away on her phone before handing it to him. His cold and calculated eyes scanned the screen while saying nothing, all three of us waiting with bated breath for him to come to a decision in his mind.

There was no where left for her to run. With these text messages, all the constant denying that Professor Lee has done will be proven false and she will be exposed for all the hell she's put me through this semester. My heart was practically bursting at the thought.

"Well I would've appreciated it if you ladies had come to me with this information instead of handling it amongst yourselves, true or not," Dr. Kim finally sighed before giving Sara his full attention. "Ms. Lee, you have three people accusing you. Even if you didn't do it, there's obviously something that's turning them against you. And here at this university we strive to hold cooperation and communication above all else. If you don't get along with the fellow staff here, then why should I believe that they're the problem and not you?"

"Um, because Min Yoongi is fucking his student?!" Professor Lee was fuming now, her upper body lurching forward in her seat and her hands gripping the arm rests for dear life. "He literally just admitted to it!"

"Language, Ms. Lee," Dr. Kim scolded calmly. "I still like to maintain a professional attitude here in my office."

"I apologize sir, but that's beside the point." She was sitting back in her seat now, though her tone was no less frantic. "Min Yoongi is in a relationship with his student, and staff cooperation or not, I don't really think that's in the teacher handbook." She raised a snarky eyebrow at us as if believing that she had finally won.

I knitted my eyebrows, my palms feeling slick with a nervous sweat against Yoongi's as I realized the bigger problem here. It wasn't whatever lies and schemes Professor Lee had cooked up with my biology teacher; it wasn't even Professor Lee herself. It was the fact that Yoongi and I were in a relationship, and that was going to have enough consequences alone to shake me to my very core with fear.

"She's right," Dr. Kim uttered the words that I was silently hoping he wouldn't say, my grip tightening on Yoongi as I anticipated whatever outcome he's decided. Our fate was in his hands.

"Of course I am." Professor Lee crossed her arms and sat back in her seat with a smug grin.

"I'm afraid I have no choice." He was shaking his head, frowning at us apologetically though the sentiment didn't reach his eyes. "Mr. Min, I am sorry to inform you that you will have to be forced to resign from our university."

The color instantly drained from my face, and with it pulling all five senses that I have into the depths of the earth until I couldn't see, couldn't hear, couldn't speak—I could barely even breathe. There was a lump that was forming in my throat and settling deep within my gut, all of this feeling fake, too fake to be real.

Yoongi was fired, and it was all because of me.

"I understand, sir."

It was Yoongi's words that were pulling me from my fog of disbelief and devastation, my eyes blinking in an effort to snap back to reality as I looked from him to the dean. "No. No, there has to be something we can do, please!" I begged, my voice starting to get frantic the more the severity of the situation hit me. "I–I'll drop out! You don't have to worry about me ever coming near here again, just please, please don't fire him!"

"Y/N..." Yoongi's voice was quiet and full of resignation, defeat, but I wasn't giving up.

"Yoongi is an amazing professor who has worked here for, what, two years? He's extraordinary at what he does and students love him. It's not easy to find a professor like that everyday." I was staring into the eyes of the dean now, trying to move him with my words. "You shouldn't throw away someone as great as him just because of some stupid 18 year old's mistake! Please, Dr Kim." I leaned forward in my seat, the room silent as I spoke. "He wouldn't be in this situation if it weren't for me. Please, let me suffer the consequences, not him."

I continued to stare in Dr. Kim's eyes, silently channeling my emotions through the pleading expression in my eyes, and it wasn't until I felt a comforting hand on my back that I was instantly drawn away into a more calm state in my chair. I gazed over at the owner of the hand, and he flashed back that smile I loved except it was sad, and it didn't reach his eyes, and I could tell there was so much he wanted to say to me right now if we weren't in the confinement of his boss' office.

"I understand your efforts, Y/N, but there's nothing I can do." Dr. Kim shook his head, and it was as if the world around me was shattering into blades of glass, scraping at my skin and leaving bloody wounds that I knew would never heal. "Mr. Min was involved in this relationship as well, and no matter whose fault it is, the professor needs to be held accountable. There is a level of professionalism and maturity that he must possess in order to work here; he's your superior, a respectable authority figure, and so he should've known better."

It was all I could do to keep from crying as I lowered my eyes and shook my head, every inch of my heart breaking for Yoongi until all that was left were tiny fragments to scatter in the wind. I couldn't believe I'd done this to him. The very thing he'd been worried about from the start—I had ruined his career.

"It is our goal as a university to see our students succeed," he continued, though I could barely hear a thing. "As for you, Y/N, I see no reason as to why you shouldn't keep attending this university."

I blinked a few times, confused. "You want me to... what?"

"You will have a suspension on your student records, mind you, and one more of those will lead to expulsion," he explained. "Though that doesn't mean that you can't keep going to school here. You will have to meet with an advisor every two weeks, though, who will be keeping a close watch on your behavior."

I could barely even believe my ears; had my hearing been completely lost due to the shock of the situation? "That's totally a double standard!" I gestured to Yoongi in disbelief.

"Y/N, it's okay..." Yoongi tried to calm me down.

"No, it's not okay!" I roared, eyes wide and brows furrowed in disbelief as I glanced at him before turning back to the dean. "Where do you think you can get off by treating people like this? This is his career—his life!"

"That will be enough from you, Ms. Y/N," Dr. Kim bellowed in a stern voice as he frowned. "I'm doing you a favor here by letting you continue your education. Speak out against me one more time and I will be revoking that offer."

His words were deafening throughout the office; it was suddenly understandable why he was so feared by those who worked under him. Yoongi started to run his hand along my spine in a soothing manner, and though it helped relax my fiery nerves and clear my foggy mind, I was still just as upset—if not more, now that the information was beginning to settle in.

"So that's it then?" Professor Lee spoke for the first time in a while, her lips pressed into a firm line, obviously disappointed by the turn of events though she didn't dare to speak out against Dr. Kim as he had warned. "Yoongi gets fired and Y/N gets a free ride?"

"Not so fast, Ms. Lee." The dean turned to her. "What you did was beyond unprofessional. You violated several school policies as well as bullied a student! Do you think that type of behavior is acceptable as a professor?"

Professor Lee opened her mouth as if to protest before slowly shutting it again, realizing that she had nothing left that she hadn't already denied. It was obvious that the evidence given to him by Professor Park, who stood silent in the corner of the room, was incriminating enough to sway his decision.

"I'm sorry to have to inform you that you will be fired as well."

"What?!" Her shrill voice screeched through the air, tearing whatever I had left of my eardrums and rendering me deaf here in this office. "What I did was no where near as bad as Yoongi and Y/N!"

"If anything, it was worse." Dr. Kim folded his hands over his desk. "Let's not forget that you managed to involve the entire student body in a false seminar that maliciously exposed one of our students and professors," he raised an eyebrow at her, "and that was just today."

"Yeah, not to mention all the other shit you did behind my back to make my life a living hell," I couldn't help from interjecting in a heated tone, though I backed off upon seeing the dean's stern gaze.

He redirected his attention back to Sara. "Here at this university, we strive to have a professional relationship, safe environment, and healthy lifestyle for our students. Neither of you achieved those three goals, so both of you will have to be let go."

Yoongi's expression simply remained placid and free of any emotion while Professor Lee's reaction was practically visceral, though neither spoke a word as heavy silence fell over the small office.

"Am I... am I still needed, sir?" It was Professor Park whose voice broke through the tension, everyone having forgotten she was there in the midst of the emotion-filled chaos. "Because if not, then I'm going to go."

"No, I'm just about finished here." Dr. Kim let out a sigh, as if what just transpired had been hard on him out of all people in the room. My blood boiled just looking at him, though I know I had to learn when to speak out and when to bite my tongue as Yoongi had taught me.

"Dr. Kim, is there any way you can reconsi–"

"That will be enough from you, Ms. Lee," his booming voice interrupted the frantic professor. "I've said all that I need to say on the matter. I'm not changing my mind."

"Dr. Kim?" I spoke up just as Professor Lee and Professor Park were getting ready to walk out the door. "I–I have something else to tell you. Un-related to this," I threw in when I saw him throw a glance in Lee's direction.

The man sighed before waving them out, leaving his office empty of visitors other than me and Yoongi in the chairs. I wasn't going to let that boy go anywhere.

"Y/N, I'm sorry that the outcome isn't exactly what you wanted but I'm afraid there's nothing I can–"

"Choi Junwoo tried to rape me," I blurted out.

There was a moment's pause as the dean was stunned silent with wide eyes, and out of my peripheral vision I could see Yoongi tense up and inhale sharply next to me.

"W–what–"

"Choi Junwoo," I spoke slowly for him so that he'd understand, "a student here at this university, tried to rape me at a frat party."

I couldn't leave the office without saying it. I couldn't leave the office without telling him. This wasn't just about me or the turmoil or trauma he caused; this was for every other girl in the future who might be a victim of Jun. Though in my heart I truthfully believed he was a good person, and that he really was just intoxicated beyond belief that night, it was still no excuse. If he had rape-tendencies while he was drunk and I didn't speak out about it, then I would be no better when it came to helping other sexual assault victims.

"Are you sure–"

"I found them at the party while he was mid-act," Yoongi jumped in, probably figuring he was already fired so there was nothing left for him to lose when it came to revealing details about our relationship outside of school. "It was... disgusting. I got her out of there immediately, but not before punching that bastard in the face."

"Metaphorically, of course!" I couldn't help but chime in, not wanting an assault charge to be on his record as well.

Thankfully Dr. Kim simply brushed off that minuet detail in favor for the more important issue at hand. "Y/N, what you're telling me will ruin this student's future. Are you absolutely sure you want to file this?"

Despite the anger that swelled up inside of me from him questioning my accusation, I still couldn't help the little trickle of doubt that crept in as I considered his words. At one point, Jun had been a friend... maybe even a potential lover had Yoongi not been in the picture. Dr. Kim was right, this information could potentially ruin his reputation, his education, his record... was I ready to carry the weight of knowledge that I've ruined someone's life forever?

"What are you talking about? Of course!" Yoongi spat an answer before I even had a chance to finish my thoughts. "She told you what happened, didn't she? Why would she speak out about something like this if she was making it up?"

"Maybe a personal vendetta?" The dean shrugged his shoulders. "People will do crazy things for revenge."

Now that got me heated. "The only one who wanted revenge here was Junwoo!" I stood up from my seat to yell. "He liked me and was mad that I turned him down. As if I owed my feelings to him or something! And when I told him no, he forced himself on me?! Is that really the type of message you want to send at this college? You know, since you're so high and mighty on "cooperation"," I did air quotes of sarcasm around my last words, my ears practically steaming with boiling rage.

"We will come out about this story, by the way," Yoongi added in, his voice full of venom. "And how will that look if you tried to keep us silent?"

"You can forget about me attending this university," I hissed.

"Alright, alright, settle down, the both of you," Dr. Kim lowered his hands in a calming manner. "I was not suggesting I buy your silence or anything of that nature. I was simply making sure you wanted to go through with this."

"Yes," Yoongi and I both answered in unison.

The dean nodded his head before clasping his hands together. "Alright."

The rest of the time in the office with spent filling on paperwork on a claim against Junwoo. I'd been given the option to be kept in the loop or even present when everything went down, though I politely declined. I wanted nothing more to do with that boy.

Though it would seem Professor Lee didn't share the same sentiment when it came to me, because as soon as soon as the two of us walked hand in hand into the hallway and Dr. Kim's door was securely shut, she sprung into action.

"You bitch!" She shrieked, not wasting another second as she leaped through the air and onto my body like a crouched tiger that was waiting for the right moment to attack. I felt the pressure of her weight against my chest and the sting of her nails scraping against my cheek, and before I knew it I was stumbling down, down onto the ground with another vicious blow to my jaw that was accompanied by her fist.

It all happened within a matter of seconds, but it wasn't long until I heard Yoongi yell Sara! and then her weight vanished just as quickly as it had appeared.

All I could do was stare with wide eyes as Yoongi slammed her shoulders back against the wall, though it was the look in his eyes that caught my attention. I had seen that expression before.

He was about to throw a punch.

"Yoongi, stop!" I cried, summoning all the strength I possessed to push myself to my feet and stumble over to the pair.

Yoongi whipped his head towards me with exasperated, almost wild eyes and his brows knitted in confusion and disbelief. "Y/N, she attacked you!"

"She isn't worth it," I spoke firmly in an attempt to get through to him. "Yoongi, just let it go. She isn't worth the trouble anymore."

It was when I placed a soothing hand against his back that Yoongi finally sighed, his stance visibly relaxing and his hands dropping from Professor Lee's shoulders. "She's right," he spit in a low, venomous tone as he turned back to her and grit his teeth. "Thanks to Dr. Kim, you already got what you deserve."

"Yoongi," there were sudden sobs that were tearing through the hallway, and it took me a moment to realize that Professor Lee was now... crying.

"Yoongi," she continued as she clung onto his shoulders. "Yoongi, I loved you!"

Somewhere deep inside of me, past all the burning hatred for what this woman has done to my life out of pure jealousy, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of sympathy for her. This was once me, heartbroken over the effects of unrequited love. Yoongi was a very sought-after man, I'd come to realize, and it wasn't about my feelings or Professor Lee's or anyone else's. It was about his.

"Sara," Yoongi sighed, and there was almost a wince in his tone from how hard he was trying to make her understand. "It's over."

"W–what?" The woman was scrambling now. "It doesn't have to be! We can go back to the way things were–"

"There never was a ‘we’!" He ripped her hands from his shoulders. "We were friends, and then you sabotaged my career and Y/N's education. You never once spoke out about your feelings, came forward, handled things like adults," he stressed the last line. "You never once did any of those things! Instead you belittled another woman and cost yourself your job all for a man—someone who until now, was your friend." Yoongi sighed again and shook his head. "I hope you get the help you need, Sara. I'm sure there is someone out there who will love you unconditionally... but that person is not me."

And with that, he put a gentle hand on my back and we walked away.

“Oh my god.”

Those were the first words out of my mouth the second we exited the building, my hands resting on my head in disbelief as I turned to Yoongi. “Holy shit, Yoongi–“

“Shhh,” he instantly consoled me, his arms engulfing me in a comforting hug and my face tucking underneath his chin as he held me close. “We did it, Y/N. It’s all over.”

I stayed in his embrace for a few moments as his words sunk in. It was all over. No more secrets, no more Professor Lee—no more anything.

“B–but your job...” I pulled away to look up at him with a shaky tone, my brows furrowed in concern. “Dr. Kim fired you, he–“

“I resigned, Y/N. There’s a difference.”

“Is there?” I couldn’t help but look up at him with a hopeless expression.

Yoongi simply nodded his head, the picture of nonchalance as if his career hadn’t just changed forever. “Yes. If I had gotten fired, it would look terrible on my resumé should I apply for another teaching position. However, given the circumstances of our arrangement...” he paused, no doubt thinking of Professor Lee, “I suppose he decided to take it easy on us all.”

My shoulders deflated in relief. “Well thank god for that...” I sighed, not even wanting to think of what could’ve happened if Dr. Kim had given us the harshest punishment. In an ironic, twisted way, I suppose I have Professor Lee to thank for that. If she wouldn’t have made my life a living hell, it would’ve been that much worse if Dr. Kim ever found out on his own.

“But none of that even matters to me right now,” Yoongi suddenly snapped, and then in the time it took me to raise an questioning eyebrow he had already grabbed both sides of my face and rammed his lips into mine, the same as he did before we went inside to confront Professor Lee.

Only this time, the kiss was different. It didn’t hold promises and potential; it held freedom. It held the success of finally getting through everything by the skin of our teeth, the relief and the pride and the pure love that we have for each other after overcoming everything that we’ve been through together. I kissed him and I didn’t care who saw—because he wasn’t my professor anymore. There were no invisible chains that bounded us apart. It was just me and him sticking together against all odds. Never in my life did I think I would ever be a part of a relationship so committed, so passionate, so determined. He and I would never stop fighting for each other.

“I love you, Min Yoongi,” I murmured against his mouth with a grin on my features that was hard to disguise—especially when I felt the corners of his lips pull up into that gummy smile that I adored with all of my heart.

“God, I love you too, Y/N,” he replied back with a content sigh, and then he continued to kiss me on the busy campus sidewalk until we were both breathless and blue in the face.

Because we now had nothing to lose.

Despite finally being released from the clutches that school had on us, the days following the meeting with Dr. Kim were not easy.

Other than having to put on a fake smile and continue attending a university where practically everyone knew about my relationship with now-former Professor Min (my mother would never let me drop out—not that I could ever tell her the reason I'd want to, anyways), there were the stresses that Yoongi was dealing with of now being unemployed. And what with all but abandoning my dorm room to instead spend my nights with him at his apartment, it was impossible to not feel the weight of his problems on my shoulders as well. No matter how many times Yoongi tried to put up a façade and reassure me that he was okay, I couldn't help but feel like this was my fault.

"If I just never would've made you dance with me at that club..." I'd say at times, unable to keep from tracing back each and every one of our interactions and blaming myself.

"Cut that out," Yoongi would snap.

"What? It's true!"

"You know I don't like it when you talk like that!" He'd turn to me with a stern tone. "I don't regret anything that happened between us, okay? Not one single bit." There was a heavy silence as his words would hang in the air. "If you wouldn't have asked me to dance, then who knows if I ever would've worked up the courage to kiss you? And I wouldn't be here, sharing this bed with the love of my life."

"Aw, Yoongi..."

And the two of us would make love, again and again until we'd have a similar argument some time later and repeat the whole process all over again. I'd feel guilty, Yoongi would remind me of exactly how much he doesn't regret meeting me, and we'd get lost in each other's embrace.

That is, until a simple Sunday morning suddenly changed everything.

"I got it."

I casually peered over at the sound of him from my spot in the living room, sitting criss crossed on the couch in my pajamas with a laptop in my lap. "What?"

"The job." Yoongi's voice was low, serious as he stared at the paper in his hands that had previously been so carelessly disregarded on the kitchen island along with the Sunday paper. "At the university in Seoul."

"Wait." He had all of my attention now as I sat the laptop on the coffee table and rose to my feet. "Like the Seoul National University university?"

"Yeah," he let out a single chuckle of disbelief before he pressed the paper against the counter and turned to me. "I got the job."

"Oh my god, Yoongi!" I exclaimed with my own chuckle of disbelief before running forward and wrapping my arms around his neck. His arms immediately engulfed my waist and lifted me off the ground as we spun around in place, my lips instantly finding his in a searing kiss that was full of passion and excitement to match our current mood. "That's amazing!"

"I know," he replied as he placed me down. A tentative smile was frozen on his lips as he stared off into the distance before letting out another sound of disbelief, his head shaking before his palm slid down his face. "I can't believe it!"

"I'm so proud of you!" I mirrored the grin of pure elation on his features, my chest swelling with joy and relief and most of all, pride.

I was so, so proud of Yoongi. I knew how much his job meant to him, and the feeling of guilt that weighed down on me from knowing that I was the one who inadvertently took that away from him, that I was the one who inadvertently caused all this stress of job hunting was instantly lifted off my shoulders. I knew how much he wanted this. I knew how hard he had worked to get this job at such a prestigious school, and god damn it, I knew how much he deserved it. If Yoongi was anything, apart from being an amazing person and a wonderful lover, he was great at his job. He was a natural born teacher.

Though no matter how many times I've willingly showered him with endless compliments about his work, he'd blush sheepishly and simply swat away all of my words with a simple kiss, or an "if you don't shut up your food is going to get cold. We're unemployed now; we need all the nutrition we can get. Haven't you ever heard of the Great Depression?"

So instead, I just chose to beam at him while he basked in the euphoria of the moment that this job acceptance brought on. After all, I knew he was well aware of how proud of him I was and how supportive I'd always be when it came to anything he wanted to accomplish.

Though the bliss was short lived.

I watched as Yoongi's expression slowly fell, the smile on his face slipping into a deep frown and his eyes turning to stone. "No."

"What?" I furrowed my brows, concern filling me and etching onto my features as I cupped his cheek in my hand, trying to figure out why his mood had changed so suddenly. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not taking it." His tone was cold, definitive, as if the subject wasn't even up for debate as he grabbed the letter.

"Wait wait wait," I hurried to stop him from tearing it in half. "What are you talking about? Why not?"

He turned to look at me with cold, incredulous eyes, as if he couldn't believe I was even asking a question so stupid. "The university is in Seoul, Y/N."

"Okay...?" I shook my head in confusion, still not understanding what the issue was. "And?"

"I'd have to move." He was taking the paper back out of my hands and ripping it right down the middle before I got the chance to stop him.

I suddenly deflated, the severity of his words dropping in my stomach and wrapping around the anchor of my heart, sending it down, down, down through the floor of his apartment and hurdling towards the center of the earth.

"...What?"

"I'd have to move away from you."

And there is was, the bomb detonating an explosion and demolishing whatever was left of my heart.

"No... t–there has to be another way, there has to–"

"Seoul is hours away from here, Y/N," Yoongi barked out, his tone angry and harsh as it always was when he was upset. "It's on the other side of the country; there's no way I'd be able to commute without living there."

"Okay, so why did you apply then?" I couldn't help but snap back defensively. "You knew the distance to Seoul prior to applying for the job. Why even bother if you're just going to get pissed about not taking it?!"

"Because I didn't think I'd get accepted!" His voice was loud, almost yelling now. "It's the most sought after, prestigious school in the fucking country and I didn't think some young idiot who got fired from his last job would be able to get in!"

It was silent as his words settled over the atmosphere, clinging to the air that filled the room around us and encasing my lungs until it was impossible to breathe.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I finally hissed. "You're a great teacher, and you know it. If anyone's a young idiot here, it's me!"

Yoongi scoffed with a shake of his head. "I'm the one who kissed you again during that tutoring session after telling you to stay away. I'm the one who fucked you against that desk." His tone was low now, and his eyes seemed to grow harder in realization with each step that he took towards me. "I'm the one who asked to take you out on that fucking date and I'm the one who pulled you onto my lap when Sara caught us in my classroom! God damn it, I'm the one who tracked you down at a fucking frat party and punched one of my students!"

His voice slowly raised until he was yelling again, and if it weren’t for the fact that he was now standing chest to chest and cornering me up against the countertop of the island, I would've winced at the loud volume so close to my ears.

"Stop blaming yourself, Y/N, when I'm the one who was the authority figure. I'm the one who should've had my shit together, but I just couldn't around you!"

I felt myself soften at that. As angry and intimidating as he seemed right now, surely frightening whoever would come into contact with him when he was like this, I knew that it was all a front. Yoongi wasn't the best at dealing with emotional situations—he'd all but bite my head off any time I even tried to mention his father—and sometimes lashed out in anger when he was upset or hurting inside. I knew how badly he wanted this job; I could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice when he'd first submitted the application. And now, when the career position of his dreams was finally right under his nose, he couldn't have it. Because I was holding him back.

"You have to take it." My voice was solemn and steady as I stared him in the eyes.

He instantly frowned. "What? No, I–"

"Yoongi."

He fell silent, all signs of anger and malice wiped from his features once he saw just how serious I was being. A soft, bittersweet smile that had nothing to do with happiness slowly tugged at my lips as my eyes gleamed with pain. My heart was breaking with every word I was speaking, but I knew it was something I needed to do.

"You have to take the job."

The silence that ensued my words only further proved my point, simultaneously stabbing a knife into my chest with each passing second. He knew I was right. He knew it. He just didn't want to hear it.

"You don't..." He sounded smaller, more pitiful and confused as he tried to make sense of what I was saying. "You don't want me to stay?"

The hurt, the sadness, the utter hopelessness in his voice absolutely crushed me. I couldn't help but fall into his embrace, wrapping my arms around his chest and squeezing tightly as if I could somehow hold the pieces of him together that I knew were breaking. The severity of what was happening, of what I was doing started to settle within me the moment I heard his voice break.

"I do, baby," I replied, the sound muffled by the skin of his neck that my face was buried in as a sob threatened to claw its way out of my throat and swallow me whole. "God, you know I do. But you can't."

"Y–you can come with me." He was shaking his head now, his hands gripping at the shirt on my back with closed fists while he desperately tried to hold onto me, as if I would disappear beneath him at any moment. "We can move together to Seoul and you can–"

"You know I can't, Yoongi." It was my turn to shake my head, and with it came a heavy tear that fell down my cheek. "I have to go to school. I have a family who's helping pay for my tuition, and my mom— you know it's not all up to me."

I heard him sniffle as he pulled away, and even though I felt no evidence of tears from him against my skin or my shirt, his eyes were bright red when he stared back at me.

"I'm not leaving you, Y/N."

The sheer determination in his voice had me shattering like broken glass. "I'm not letting you do this, Yoongi. I'm not letting you waste this opportunity. Do you know how many people are waiting to work at Seoul University? How many professors would kill to be in your position?" I kept my gaze steadily on his as I slowly shook my head. "I care about you... so fucking much. I've never loved someone so much before... not like this." I paused, asking myself one last time if this was really the decision I wanted to make as my words settled in. I took in the sight of his beautiful, breathtaking features silently begging me not to do this. "I'm putting you above my selfishness," I finally decided with another shake of my head. "You need to do this Yoongi, for you. You know you do."

Yoongi slowly shook his head, though the expression on his face told me he knew I was right. "I don't want to lose you," he spoke as a tear spilled over the brim of his eye, dampening his lashes and leaving a wet streak in its wake as it rolled down his cheek, and the sight was the final breaking point that had me bursting into tears.

"Neither do I."

His fingers dug into my skin as he tightened his grip on my body, his forehead leaning against mine as the only sounds exchanged between the two of us were the unspoken words of labored breaths and soft sobs.

Sometimes when you love someone, you have to do what's best for them.

And I knew this was what's best for Yoongi.

[dooodle-bug]

Caedon and Caelen just talk.

Caedon and Caelen lay on their backs looking up at the stars on the roof of their house on a blanket, Cecilia was alseep, Alexa out on another long night shift leaving just them and eachother. Caelen turns to Caedon with a singular question on their mind "Brother." she said blankly "Yeah?" he turned to them, "How...How do you do it, brother?" "How do I do what?" Caedon had never heard Caelen ask for help before, let alone ask for anything at all. "How do you feel so content in side?" she turns their gaze back up at the stars "I mean, every time I try and do something I do feel content inside... but only for a while, and then I try and do something again, and again and" she sits up "...I just dont know what to do anymore." he pauses, "Well, who have you been doing it for then?" they pause "What?" "Yeah, who have you been doing it for? Every time I've done something that makes me feel content, it's usualy because I wanted to do it. Like when I play with out dogs or go outside, I do ti because I want to." they pause again, looking up at the vast cosmos. Caelen broke the silence, "Huh." "Ya know something brother?" "What?" "So, I've been reading up on religion and I've learned about the Buhdist religion, and to boil it down. A belif with in the religion is that all life is suffering, and that all suffering is desire." "Yeah, and I feel like that sorta ties in with one of my belifes is that, a lot of our primary culture; the culture during the prihistoric times, when we were all cave men and shit, our lives basicaly boiled down to 'You have to be the best' and that sorta aslo ties in with 'survivalist instinct' with the peoples train of thought being 'I have to be the best or else I might die' " he added "Exsactly, this mentalitly was and still is very much uphealed, we give privlage to others who have a better skill set in activities like athletics, algebra, even body types and how people look. We give them constant praise to people who are just better." "I also wanted to bring something up, that being the phrase "Everybody's a winner." now with what we're talking about. I know when people say that, they mean it in an 'oh don't worry you're still doing good' that doesn't mean shit to all the stuff we've grown to learn. Because of all this praise for people better than us, it sorta-" "Sorta?" they cut in "Well, its more of a deffinetly, but anyways it's insiled this idea that if we aren't the best and we aren't getting the same treatment as those people, we might as well just be left in the dust to die alone. And sibs, I kid you fucking not. I had the same damn mentality for the first 9 years of my fucking life and I hated it." "And the mentality of being up held by your sucsess is the same mentality I had at the same time." she noted "Dear fucking god, did you also have the hope inside you that maybe if you worked just a little harder you'd feel content inside?" "Yes." "Thats the problem!" Caedon exsclaimed " That's the problem with hope, it leads you on! 'Oh I hope I get this job promosion' SMACK! 'Oh I hope I gain something out of this' THWAK! That's what everyone has either or is doing in their life!" She stared at him dazed, they never saw him that angry at something so philosophical before. He takes a deep breath "Because that's what I feel like hope's all about sibs. It's about leading you on to something that probably doesn't exsist and it just pains me so hard that when I see people waxing on about hope n' shit it hurts me inside, like yeah I know you wanna get this or that or want this to happen in your favorite show but like, it's not up to you. It's up the creators of the show, and that's what I love about life sibs. The randomness, the fact that we cant decied what does and does not happen, and I'm not trying to say that if bad shit happens you have to be like, ok with it but you just have to understand that you can't control everything." "This also brings up the fact that some people want to have control over...basicaly everything, and I myself have had that want and desire to control everything," "And this, desire sorta stemed from the fear of having no choice, whitch you and me were both in coded into our phychie at a young age by our parents, right?" he asked "Right, my mother, instilled this sort of fear that if you can't or don't have control over everything, you have nothing and people will manipulate you, and what she was doing was basically-" "Gaslighting. And you learned that weather you have or don't have controll over everything, people can still manipulate you into doing shit that you never even wanted to do." "Yes, and this was more prevelent when I was a fashion designer, my manager was just an awful person but he made me feel in control of my own destiny and my own life." "And you know, to sorta reconect with the idea of hope. I sorta have the idea that hope in it of itself is...basicaly a carrot on a stick" Caelen bursts out laughing, "What?!" he joins in on the laughter but it slowly dies to down "Yeah, and like, I know it's a stupid metaphore but when you step back to look at the bigger picture. It's something that we use to sorta lessen the pain of it." "And this, it, you speak of that is the thought that we have a limited time, and that just one day everything we know will just be gone, and that pain you feel of just that possibilite happening is just so unbarable." she added "Ex-fuckin-sactly, and that what I feel like hopes all about, it's just leads you on, and on. But like, when you let go of hope. And you know me sibs, and I know you, and you know that like, I'm not trying to say 'give up' but what I am saying is that. Ounce you stop thinking about the future and start focusing on the now, you realise that everything is kinda ok. You don't have to be ok with it, you could think that things could be better." "Yeah, I do belive that we both belive that 'hopelessness' isin't as rotten as we thought of it as, where, instead of just sitting down and hoping for something to happen, we stop looking in the future for good things to happen to us and start to acualy do things. Thats when shit starts to happen." Caelen lays back down and look up again, "So," Caedon asked "Who are you...doing all of this shit for? Like are you doing it for something, like praise or someone validation." "Well, before I had sorta like this epiphanie of my childhood, I did everything for my mother validation." "Thats the thing sibs, you gotta stop doing things for other people validation. And that's how I feel whole and... content inside. I do things because I either 1.) want to help the people. Whitch for me, I feel like is my pourpuse to help and love people, and you know that I dont mean that, give everyone what they want because you know, when you give people what they want all the time they're probably going to get the idea of 'oh well I can now take advantages of this person' and this has happened to both of us with in diffrent times of our life. But, anyways so um 1.) because of my pourpuse or 2.) because I want to, like when I play videogames or what anime. It's because I want to." they both lay there in silence again.

HOLY FUCK I LOVED THAT IT WAS SO SO SO WELL WRITTEN!!!!

[crash-cinematic-universe]

Holographic Sand is a Kickass Band Name

pairing: peter maximoff/OC(graciella decuerpo) (high school AU/not canon)

summary: peter learns that a fuckton can change in the course of a week

warnings: none? bad language and peter is simp but thats it

notes **please read**: Heyyyyy how are you doing? good? that’s great. so ik this fic is a peter/oc fic, but honesty i only use her name a few times and a few defining features but like. thats it. so you can totally just imagine urself in her position. also this fic is 5,550 words exactly. that’s the most ive ever written and I am SUPER fucking proud. I think i might become one of those blogs where i write super huge monster fics that im proud of instead of just writing to fill requests.if u dont want that then just lmk and i will not do that. i dont know. maybe. also this fic is peter centric because uh it is. anyways enjoy <3

taglist: @creator-appreciator, @simonsbluee

--------

Monday

           Peter sat across the room, his arms crossed neatly on top of his knees as he rested his chin on his forearm. He wasn’t paying attention to the lesson being taught in front of him, in fact, he wasn’t paying attention to anything at all. No, Peter was lost in his head again. Peter’s mind was a chaotic minefield of music and cheesy one-liners and random facts that he seems to just know. But this time, he wasn’t envisioning himself beating up a police officer or playing with Pink Floyd. This time, he was picturing a perfect world where nothing ever happened yet nothing was ever boring. Peter had built a utopia in his mind-- a kingdom created to his exact preferences. A blissful tower of joy and happiness and energy and satisfaction. A paradise where he stood on top of the world with Graciella DeCuerpo, the pretty girl from algebra  class, standing right next to him.

          Now, Peter was well aware that the pretty girl from algebra  class had no idea who Peter was. The pair had never exchanged more than a few words, but somewhere within those few words, Peter managed to decide that she was his soulmate. He’d created an image of her in his head that would make God weep tears of envy, the perfect personality for the perfect person.  Peter willfully ignored the fact that he was setting himself up for heartbreak as he imagined how nice it would feel to have her fingers intertwined with his. 

           All of Peter’s friends thought he was ridiculous, ‘you can’t love someone you don’t know,’ they’d say. Peter would only scoff and shake away their words. He absolutely can love someone he doesn’t know, it’s getting the other person to reciprocate those feelings that’s nearly impossible. However, that doesn’t stop him from fantasizing at night. That doesn’t stop him from imagining the various ways he’d confess his love to the pretty girl who doesn’t love him. Or maybe she does. Peter doesn’t know, he could never know; unless, of course, he worked up the courage to talk to her. 

          Scott constantly teased Peter about his one-sided infatuation, but Peter paid no mind to him. He was 100% content with his perpetual pining for someone who probably didn’t know his name. He was totally okay with the unending ache in his chest that would appear any time she walked by or met his gaze. Peter was alright with his ceaseless yearning and the eternal feeling of disappointment that overtook him every time he snapped out of one of his fantasies. He was a-okay with all of that.

          So, there he was, spacing out during biology class as Professor Hargreeves struggles to teach the silver teen about photosynthesis. The Professor looked at Peter with desperate eyes, soon deciding that having his usually energetic student be quiet and still was the silver lining of the situation-- no pun intended. Professor Hargreeves droned on as Peter glanced at the clock, counting down the minutes until 7th period. Counting the seconds until he got to see the pretty girl in algebra  class once again.

Tuesday

          6th period was always the worst part of Peter’s day-- the dreaded english class. There were many contributing factors to Peter’s hatred for this class; the professor was a bore, the material itself was uninteresting, and Peter could never seem to sit still or retain any of the words he read in english class. Worst of all, english class seemed to go on forever, leaving Peter to impatiently wait for the bell to ring and release him to 7th period. At the end of the period every day, he was practically vibrating in his seat. 

          “Can anyone tell me what Juliet’s suicide is supposed to symbolize?” the Professor asked expectantly. Peter couldn’t care less about the symbolism of some chick’s suicide-- he’d much rather be studying the features of his algebra  class infatuation. 

          She sat next to him yesterday. There were at least 5 other open seats and she sat next to him. Yes, Peter read too much into it and yes, Peter spent the entire class period trying to make himself seem naturally cool, but he didn’t care. Peter would act like the most desperate, pathetic, lovestruck loser in the world if it meant that she would like him. They didn’t talk, they didn’t exchange a single word, nevertheless, Peter was in a state of euphoria for the entire class period. 

          Sometimes Peter feels like a stalker. He watches her whenever he can-- he doesn’t follow her around or anything, but if she’s around, he’ll stare at her. He has her features memorized, the curve of her nose, the dark brown irises surrounding her pupils, the way that she always seems to have chipped black nail polish on. He sees the small things. He sees the way she bites her nails when he gets bored and he sees the way her leg never seems to stop bouncing. She hums the basslines to songs as opposed to the melody. 

          English class came to an abrupt end as the bell cut off the Professor’s teachings as well as Peter’s distant daydreaming. Peter was out of his seat within seconds, his notes and books quickly being swept up in his arms as he walked out of the room. The hallways are crowded and chaotic and busy, each individual student attempting to get to their locker then to their class on time. Peter watches as kids swing their lockers open, fatigue and weariness apparent on their faces as they disappear into their classrooms. Peter reaches his locker hastily, the few small posters of classic rocks bands adorning the inside of his locker door. A playful giddiness overcame his body as he made his way to algebra  class, a small smile left on his face.

          Graciella shows up across the hallway, her bright red hair catching his eye in a sea of brown and blonde and blue. His stomach flutters as they get closer and closer to each other, finally meeting outside of the classroom. Her eyes rise to meet Peter’s, and instead of pulling away, Peter keeps looking. She smiles at him before disappearing inside the classroom, and Peter felt his knees get weak. With a deep breath and a triumphant smile, he walked into the classroom.

Wednesday

          Lunchtime; possibly one of the most enjoyable parts of Peter’s school day. Peter is free to kick back and stuff his face full of whatever junk the school board deems nutritious enough for highschoolers. Usually, he ate lunch under the bleachers with his friends, but in some sick twist of fate most of them were absent. So, Peter was left to eat alone in his usual spot.

          The quiet was comfortable, refreshing. The gentle summer breeze would blow every few minutes and Peter would listen to the rustle of the leaves. There’s a certain tranquility to being alone; Peter can lay back and relax and just… think. No stress, no panicking, no--

          “Hey, uh, Peter, right?” Peter’s eyes snap up so fast he’s afraid they would detach from his head and fall out. His breath faltered and his hands began to shake a bit-- why was he so freaked out? She was just a girl; sure, she was the prettiest girl he’d ever seen, and yeah, he was madly in love with her, but that’s besides the point. 

          “Uh-- uh, yeah, P-Peter. That’s, uh, that’s me,” He chuckled awkwardly, desperately trying to stay cool. Peter was an awkward person, but he’d rather die than fuck up his chances with Grace.

          “You dropped this on your way out of class yesterday, I, uhm, didn’t get to return it to you until now,” She holds out a small key chain with three small keys hanging off of it-- Peter’s house keys, along with the key to his mother’s car. He quickly takes the key chain from the red-haired girl in front of him.

          “Holy shit, uh, thanks! I couldn’t get into my house yesterday so I guess you saved me from another broken window,” Peter held up his hand and showcased the scattered pattern of small cuts on his palm. Grace laughed lightly before gently running her fingers over the cuts on Peter’s palm.

          “Oh fuck, dude, these look pretty bad. Maybe keep a spare key hidden under your welcome mat or something,” Peter doesn’t fully process Grace’s words; he’s too preoccupied with trying not to collapse at the feeling of her fingertips on his palm.

          “Hey, you okay? You look… pale,” Grace pressed the back of her hand on Peter’s forehead in an attempt to check for illness, but that just made Peter’s skin erupt in goosebumps. 

          “I, um, I’m fine. I’m just st-stressed about the algebra  t-test on Friday, I th-think,” To be fair, Peter was stressed about the algebra  test. Peter may or may not have spent the entire class staring at Grace instead of, you know, learning the material.

          “Oh! Well, if you want, I can help you study. I’m also kinda worried about it, and I study better with other people,” Peter silently thanked god for what was happening to him.

          “That would be fuckin’ fantastic,” Grace smiled a smile that made Peter shiver.

          “Cool! Uh, I’ll give you my phone number and we’ll meet up tomorrow. One day isn’t much time to study, but it’s better than nothing.” She pulls a pen out of her backpack and rips a small piece of paper out of one of her notebooks. Peter watches as she scribbles down her phone number and hands the paper to him.

          “Thanks. For everything, the keys, the studying-- everything.” Grace smiled.

          “It’s no problem, Peter, really. I’ll call you later,” And just like that, she walked away. Peter was left alone under the bleachers, a wide smile plastered on his face as he read the piece of paper in his hands over and over and over again.

Thursday

          30 minutes. 30 minutes until Grace Reaper DeCuerpo, the prettiest, nicest, funniest girl Peter had ever met would show up on his doorstep. She would be inside his house for god knows how long. She would sit next to Peter-- either on the coffee table in the basement or on the floor of his bedroom. Needless to say, Peter was freaking the fuck out.

          The plan was simple: Grace shows up, they study, they get comfortable, and she goes home. Yet, in those four simple steps, so much could go wrong. Wanda could interrupt, his mother could lose her temper, Lorena could start crying-- worst of all, Peter could embarrass himself and drive her away. 

           Peter was in the middle of reorganizing his record collection for a third time when he heard a knock at the door. His blood went cold and an electric excitement ran through his veins. Peter checked his hair in the mirror one last time before running to the door. He stood silently, staring at the chrome handle hesitantly. This was his one chance. His only chance to make his perfect kingdom real-- Peter really, really, really didn't want to fuck it up. With a deep breath, he slowly opened the door.

          "Hey, Peter!" Her voice was smooth and melodic and it made Peter's heart light up. He’s about to respond with something smooth and witty when a squeaky voice chirps behind him.

         “Hi!! Are you the pretty girl Peter talks about?” Peter can physically feel his face turn bright red as he turns to see his six-year-old sister, Lorena, standing behind him. She’s wearing a purple princess dress that has a syrup stain on the sleeve. Grace laughs before stepping through the doorway. 

          “Lorena!” Peter groans in annoyance, a pleading look on his face. The young girl just giggles before scurrying away, her dress flowing behind her.

          “‘The pretty girl Peter talks about’, huh?” Grace grins at Peter cheekily. Peter runs his hand through his hair before motioning to the staircase.

          “God, Lorna is quite the kid. Well, uh, we can work in my room,” He sighs. “And Grace? Uh, m-maybe don’t let Lorena change your opinion of me,” She just smirks before walking past Peter.

          “Too late,” She called before disappearing down the stairs. Peter could hear the faintest trace of a smile in her voice. His heart skipped a beat as he quickly followed after her. 

          She was wearing a Pink Floyd t-shirt and holding a backpack with various pins on it-- her left ear was pierced in three places and her right in five. The earrings she was wearing were black, or maybe grey; her bright red hair blocked Peter’s view of them. She was wearing rings, some odd words engraved in the metal. Peter couldn’t read them from where he was standing. She was wearing a skirt with fishnets, her hand buried in the pockets that seem to have been sewn in herself. She has callouses on both her hands, but Peter knew that already. Her appearance would put Aphrodite to shame-- suddenly, Peter was much less confident in himself than he was before. He ran his hand through his hair again before reaching the basement.

          He held his breath as Grace looked around his room, her gaze lingering on the plethora of stolen signs and band posters covering the walls. She placed her backpack on the floor and walked over to Peter’s record collection, her fingers carefully flitting through the different albums. She seemed… impressed. It was then that Peter realized it had been silent for much too long.

          “Y’know I can, uh, p-play some music if you want me to. You can just pick a record and, uh, I’ll... play it,” Peter winced at his words, cursing himself for being so awkward in front of the girl he’d been pining after since the beginning of the year. He felt like everything had spiraled out of control, and he watched idly as it happened. Then, Grace shot him a smile and pulled out a record.

          “You have a good taste in music, Silver,” No one had ever called Peter ‘silver’ before. He liked it a bit more than he should. “Although, that’s not really a surprise. I had a feeling you were cool.” 

          “You think I’m cool?” Peter asked, shocked. He wasn’t sure he heard her correctly.

          “Oh, totally. I see you in the hallways sometimes and you always seem so… carefree. Genuine. I don’t know, I guess it’s just… you, ya know? You’re naturally cool.” Every syllable that rolled off her tongue shot euphoria through Peter’s veins. Grace DeCuerpo, the girl Peter Maximoff had dreamed of for almost a full year, was telling him that she thought he was cool. Naturally cool. 

          “I know a lot of people who would disagree with you on that one,” Peter joked. There was truth behind his humor, but of course, he didn’t want to get into his insecurities now. “They think I’m a total loser, which isn’t totally wrong I guess.”

          “Well those people are stupid,” She stated matter-of-factly with a smile. “Speaking of stupid, we should probably get to work.” Peter nodded before sitting beside her on the floor. 

          For three hours they poured over their algebra  books. They quizzed each other and checked each other’s work; Peter’s proficiency in simplifying radicals aiding them both. Every now and then their hands would brush against each other, or the conversation would stray away from school and into their personal lives. Peter learned that Grace had two brothers, one of which passed away when she was younger. Peter talked about Lorena and Wanda and his miraculous abilities in the same way that she talked about her hometown and her own abilities. The conversation was smooth and natural-- Peter didn’t feel like he was being too annoying or too chatty and there was seldom an awkward pause. The pair were content in their time together, not a single moment went by where one wished the other would leave. 

          Eventually, Grace had to go home. Peter wished that she could stay forever, but of course, that would be considered kidnapping. He walked her to the door, although Peter didn’t feel like he was walking. He felt like he was floating.

          “Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, Silver,” Grace said softly as she turned to face Peter. She looked him in the eye and he could feel his stomach flutter. 

          “Yeah, I guess so,” She opened the door, but before she left, she froze. She turned to look at Peter once again. 

          “Peter?” she said. “You’re not a loser.”

Friday

          Peter could tell the second he walked through the front door of his high school that something had changed. The energy that radiated in the halls shifted from a dull buzz of boredom to a rush of anticipation. The students in the hallway looked the same as always; tired and anxious and wishing for the day to go by quickly. However, Peter wasn’t wishing for the end of the day, and he certainly wasn’t tired. He was determined and energized and absolutely terrified, because that morning Peter Maximoff made the most important decision a seventeen-year-old could. He decided that he was going to ask Grace out on a date. 

          Peter made the choice to keep this from his friends-- it’s not that he didn’t trust them, it’s just that Peter knew he would be teased for his infatuation. It’s happened before and it will happen again. He walked down the hallways with a brave face on, his eyes forward and his heart racing. Truthfully, the silver teenager was terrified of… well, everything. The looming image of a harsh rejection forced itself into his mind; the idea that she would laugh in his face made his heart break a tiny bit, even though it wasn’t real. Peter simply shook those images away and walked on. 

          The day flew by much faster than Peter was comfortable with, and for the first time ever, he was dreading algebra  class. He was terrified that he would walk through the door and have everything be exactly the same-- he feared that Grace would go back to not knowing who he was, just like before. Peter was alright with never being her boyfriend, but he didn’t want to be a stranger. He didn’t think he could take being a stranger anymore. 

            So, there he stood, staring at the door to his algebra classroom from across the hall. He felt confident and prepared himself for the task at hand. In four long strides, he entered the classroom. Grace was sitting next to an empty desk, her eyes stuck on the small notebook full of doodles on her desk. Peter watched as her eyes raised to meet his, a wide smile forming on her face as she motioned him over. 

          “Hey, silver! I saved a seat for ya,” she called, and Peter felt his knees get weak. He then decided that he would wait until after class to ask her out. 

          “You did?”

          “Of course,” She grinned. “I like you, dude, you’re my friend,” Peter’s heart fluttered as he sat down beside her. Grace shot an odd look his way before reaching out and placing a hand on his arm. “Hey, you look stressed. Don’t sweat it, silver, you’ll do fine. We studied for, like, 3 hours yesterday. You’re gonna ace it,”

          To be frank, Peter had forgotten all about the test. The real reason he looked so stressed was because he happened to be sitting next to the love of his life, and the love of his life happened to be touching his arm. 

          “O-oh! Uh, yeah, thanks. I was just nervous because of… the test,” The bell rang and class began, the professor strictly laying down the rules that were to be followed while the test was in session. Peter could feel the lingering touch of her hand on his skin. It made his head feel fuzzy.

          Peter soon came to learn that sitting next to Grace during a test was a huge mistake. He couldn’t focus on anything other than her-- it didn’t help that she kept shooting him glances from where she sat. The numbers and letters on the paper in front of him seemed to rearrange before his eyes, instead spelling out various taunts. He feels a little pathetic for how easily Grace can unravel him, but hey, he’s a teenager. 

          The silver-haired boy’s eyes were struggling to decipher the words on his page when a small folded square landed on his desk. It came from Grace’s direction, and a small smirk had formed on her lips as she solved equations. Hesitantly, he unfolded the paper and read the neatly written message.

          Hey silver :)

          Peter smiled softly. He quickly pulled a pad of post-it notes out of his backpack and scribbled down a quick reply.

          I have no idea what I’m doing. I think Professor Stedman decided to write our tests in hieroglyphics this time.

          He flicked the note onto her desk and quickly turned his face downward. Class would be over soon, and Peter knew he couldn’t turn in a blank test. He uses his enhanced speed to do his assessment in seconds. Sure, he was almost certain he’d barely reach a passing grade, but hey, he had bigger matters to focus on. By the time he finished, another note landed on his desk.

          That bad, huh? Looks like we better study longer next time. 

          Peter’s heart swelled a bit. He really thought the study sessions were a one-time thing. He’s overjoyed to know he’ll get to see Grace semi-regularly, even if he never manages to ask her out.

          I think I’d rather hang out with you without the looming threat of schoolwork. 

          That’s the closest Peter could get to asking her out. He put deep thought into every word, he examined the phrasing and checked the spelling of every word. His english teacher would be proud.

          That can be arranged ;) 

          Peter had no idea that four words could make him feel so much. He had no idea that 17 letters could make him want to scream in the middle of a silent testing period. His hand was shaking and his careful planning was abandoned as he scribbled back a reply.

          Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?

          Patiently, he waited. He waited for Grace to finish writing her response and he waited for her to toss the note back over. He didn’t wait for more than a few minutes, but it felt like hours. He was panicking, and he was sure she could tell. She was probably joking, right? She was probably writing an awkward clarification-- she was probably explaining that she would actually rather die than be around him for non-academic reasons. He braced himself as the yellow post-it landed on the center of his desk.

          My aunt owns a drive-in a few miles from here and she gave me keys to the projector room and the gate. She managed to snag a copy of The Exorcist-- I thought you’d like to join me during my midnight escapade tomorrow night.

          Peter’s heart stopped. For a moment, he thought his eyes were fooling him. Maybe this was all some sick joke. Maybe he was being set up. Maybe he’ll get in her car tomorrow and she’ll drive him into the woods and murder him. To be completely honest, Peter wouldn’t mind if she murdered him. Peter wrote his reply.

          Really? You want me there? I might be a drag. You could probably find at least 20 other people who would probably be more interesting than me.

          Grace frowned at his response, and suddenly Peter decided he never wanted to see her frown again. She wrote confidently, her words solid and sure.

          You? A drag? Impossible. I don’t want to be alone, and I don’t want to be with anyone other than you, Maximoff. 

          This note was his undoing. He couldn’t help himself, he read it over and over and over again-- he almost forgot to respond. He wanted to hold onto it forever, he wanted it to be framed and hung on his wall. Hell, he wanted it tattooed on his arm. Peter had never been so happy while taking a test, that’s for sure. He wasn’t sure exactly what to say; he went from heartfelt responses to witty retorts. Finally, he decided to be totally and completely honest.

          I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Saturday 

          There was seldom a time in his life where Peter Maximoff felt wholly content. Even in the most peaceful moments, there was always something bothering him, there was always something to pull him back to reality. However, sitting in the back of Grace’s dad’s convertible with the seats down and the roof pulled back, his head resting on her shoulder as they watched a cheesy horror movie, Peter was as close to nirvana as he’d ever been. 

          Life had always been so hard for Peter. He’s always had to fight for his seat at the table, to claw his way into a state of mind that wasn’t a hellhole. It seemed as if the world was plotted against him; he was ostracized from society and taught that he, along with his closest family and friends, were monsters. He never met his father and his mother spent so long fighting her own battles that she forgot to love her kids. Peter had to steal to stay fed, and he had to do his best to raise his little sisters to be good people. But right there, right then? That wasn’t hard. Peter didn’t have to be anyone or do anything-- he just had to exist next to someone who wanted him. That was the easiest thing Peter had ever done.

          Peter wasn’t exactly sure how he got there. Of course, he knew that they had driven to the drive-in, but he wasn’t sure how he was the person next to Grace. They had spoken for one day, maybe two, and somehow he landed himself in the most perfect spot in the entire universe. Less than a week ago, she didn’t even know his name. Or, maybe she did. Maybe she was just like Peter-- maybe she had spent the past year pining for him, and finally she worked up the nerve to just talk to him. Maybe. Peter isn’t complaining either way.

          “Can I ask you a kind of cheesy question?” Peter is startled by the sound of his own voice. Grace sits up and glances at him.

          “Shoot,”

          “Do you-- well, uh, don’t read too much into this, but, do you believe in love at first sight?” God, he sounded awkward. 

          “Nope,” She said bluntly. Peter wasn’t expecting that answer, but he wasn’t exactly disappointed by it. “I mean, it’s kind of a stupid idea, ya know? Like, isn’t there a million poems and sonnets and books written about how love is this weird complicated monster of a feeling? I don’t think you can really love someone just by looking at them. You can love the idea of a person, sure, or maybe the look of a person, but you can’t love that person. Because a person is so much more than ‘first sight’,” she sighs. “I don’t know, maybe I’m being a killjoy. It just seems dumb to me-- dumb and, I don’t know, exclusive,”

          Peter stops to think for a moment. He steps out of his lovesick chaotic hellbrain and looks at his feelings from an outside perspective. He thinks back to the kingdom he created in his brain-- a kingdom built on a foundation of sand. Or, less than sand. Holographic sand, because the sand he built his kingdom on wasn’t real. He made a mental note that ‘Holographic Sand’ is a kickass band name, then resumed his impromptu soul-searching. She was right-- he could see  that now. Scott was right, too. You really can’t love someone you don’t know, because if you don’t know them, you fill in the gaps. You fill in the gaps with what you think fits, and then the other person stops being them and starts being parts of you. Peter suddenly felt weird.

          “I’m sorry if I said something wrong,” Grace interjects after a while. Peter hadn’t realized he’d been silent for so long.

          “You didn’t say anything wrong. On the contrary, you, uh, you made things a little bit more… right, in my brain. You somehow managed to take a little chunk of chaos and tame it, which is scarily impressive,” he joked. “Remind me to ask you your opinion on the meaning of life and the root of true happiness,” They’re joined in a chorus of laughter and Peter realizes that his little brain kingdom didn’t hold a candle to the red convertible he was sitting in. She slings an arm around his shoulders.

          “Y’know, I might not know the meaning of life, but I am pretty close to true happiness right now,” She says, softer than before. “Maybe the root of true happiness is you, Maximoff,” She chuckles. Peter smiles. He doesn’t want the ruin the moment-- god, he is desperately trying to keep himself from fucking it up, but he feels obligated to tell her about his year of pining.

          “Hey, uh, can I tell you something kinda pathetic?” He cringes at the way his voice trembled on the last word. 

          “Go ahead, Peter,” She used his name this time. Peter thinks she knows he’s about to say something mildly serious.

          “I’ve liked you since, like, the beginning of the year. You seemed so… cool. So nice. I saw you in the hallways and my stomach would get all twisted up and my head would hurt a little bit. It was like I was allergic to you, but I enjoyed it. That sounds weird. I’m sorry,” He stopped for a moment, attempting to take the buzzing mass of words in his brain and string them into a sentence. “I was too afraid to talk to you, so I, uh, asked around. I got other people’s opinions of you and then built a little version of you in my brain. I realize now that, uhm, the little brain version of you is like, way way worse than actual you,”

          When you talked to me the first time, you threw me off. I wasn’t really nervous about the test-- I mean, yeah I was nervous but that’s not why I looked so pale. I just wasn’t expecting for you to talk to me, like, willingly. So I lied because I was embarrassed. And I lied again in class yesterday. Because I was embarrassed,” He stopped talking. Peter felt like he was digging himself into a hole-- he felt like he killed the sweet sugary mood. 

          “Why are you telling me this?” Grace asked. She didn’t sound angry. She sounded a little confused, and she sounded like she was trying to help Peter decipher his brain. 

          “I don’t know, I guess I just feel bad. I feel bad for, uh, for not being honest I guess. I feel bad for being a coward,” Yep, definitely killed the mood.

          “Peter, you shouldn’t feel bad for being afraid, you know,” She assures. “I would’ve done the exact same thing in your position. Hell, I did do the exact same thing in your position,” That caught Peter’s attention.

          “What?”

          “You didn’t drop your keys in algebra. You dropped them somewhere in bio and my friend found them. She was gonna take them to the office, but I wanted an excuse to talk to you, so I said I’d return them,” Peter couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He was being pranked, he had to be. “Being awkward and weird is like a requirement in high school. Don’t sweat it, Maximoff, really. We’re all the same in that way, I think,”

          Peter felt a wave of relief wash over him. He was feeling too much at that moment, he was letting the bad drown out the good. He didn’t want to remember the day in a sad light.

          “I like you. A lot. Even if you are awkward and weird,” He smiles softly. Slowly, ever so slowly, he intertwined his fingers with those of the girl beside him. It was a simple display of affection, but it made Peter feel like he was floating.

          “I like you too, dork,” Peter smiled widely before placing his head back on Grace’s shoulder. Peter wasn’t paying attention to the movie, in fact, he wasn’t paying attention to anything at all. No, Peter was lost in his head again-- but this time, he wasn’t standing on a false kingdom with a false version of the girl he liked. No, this time, he was thinking about the very real girl beside him. He was thinking about the perfect world they had created in the small car they were in; a perfect world where he felt so much emotion and so, so safe. They had built a utopia in the back seat- a blissful tower of awkwardness and comfort and clumsy confessions. A paradise where he sat in the back seat of a Ford Galaxie with Graciella DeCuerpo, the pretty girl from algebra class, sitting right next to him. 

[remainloved]

A concept where y/n devoted her life to studying and even after finishing college a little faster (because she's hardworking), she doesn't accept the fact that there's something beside studies. But a twin tries his best to convince her otherwise because he low-key likes her and doesn't want her to be overwhelmed

y/n here would be exactly like my real life best friend. she is nose deep in studying and i think everyone around her, including me is trying to convince her that it’s not :))

i changed it slightly, hope you dont mind bub.. 

———————————————————————

Y/n has never been the number one choice of everything. She’s got a sister and her sister beats her in every aspects of life, at least that how she thinks.

She’s always the last on to be picked during sports. She’s always given the sloppy second or used toys and clothes from her sisters.

She was never prioritized. She was never first.

At least it all changed when started burying herself in books, closing the world of by having her nose deep down in textbooks. She never knew that all these readings would give her a first place in academics.

As young as in elementary year, Y/n knew she wasn’t smart and she needed to study harder than most people and she did. She beat all the odds and came first place in competitions and school.

She swept all through the awards offered by school. In junior high, she started becoming the president of the student council and acing all the AP classes.

She finished high schools with trophies, awards, medals and a valedictorian for a straight whole year of high school.

These awards and the smiles from her parents motivate her more to study and fall in love with these logarithm, algebra, organic compounds, and all those stuff that are incredibly hard to understand. She takes pride in learning and mastering them, in a way of consoling herself for never being the first pick of everyone in anything, except academically.

It wasn’t hard to get in to the Ivy leagues or anything, name any university and Y/n would 100% get in with ease.

It was one day when she was late night in the library. Call it destiny, fate or maybe an accident.

Someone opened the door and stupidly enough locked the two inside. Y/n was scared. Really she was, afraid that it might be a serial killer on the loose or a pervert at night.

“Holy shit.” He cursed when he saw a back under the silhouette of the big window. When she turned her head around, there, her heart stuttered for a second.

What she didn’t expect was to meet a guy, so incredibly good looking that he could pass becoming a Calvin Klein model.

He lightly scratched the back of his head, “Hi,” as he hand out his hand.

Y/n is a part of the student body so she knew legit everyone in school and she never saw him before.

She cocked her head to the left, “You’re not around here, are you?”

He smiled sheepishly and took his hand back while shaking his head.

Y/n pulled her eyebrows together and the guy infront of her grinned awkwardly before nodding his head. “I’m Ethan Dolan, by the way.”

“Y/n, Y/n Y/l/n.” She replied with her head nodding slightly.

Ethan, on the other hand, was surprised. Not to sound cocky and egoistic, there’s legit no one in the world around her age and species would not know who the Dolan Twins are.

This girl infront of him was not freaking out, was not screaming in front of his face, shoving phones or paper for him to take picture with and sign.

This girl was so normal that it didn’t fit to his usual life. She’s different.

They spent their night talking, Ethan was talking about how he was recording a video with his twin brother.

Their video idea was about hide and seek but in a bigger scale. So Ethan hid in one of the universities’s library and somehow locked himself in with a new girl.

Y/n was confused, why would people be doing this late at night? But nevertheless Ethan made Y/n laugh, a lot.

Which was a rare moment because Y/n doesn’t really connect with the outside world, per say.

Ethan even showed his videos to Y/n through her laptop and she was just watching through his old videos. While Ethan was just staring at her, amused. His lips would slightly twitch when she laughed at his jokes.

When she was about to subscribe, her eyes widened at the huge amount of following. “You didn’t say you’re famous?”

“I’m not, really.” He shook his head while Y/n just laughed.

“Just liked it when you’re treating me like a normal person not an internet celebrity.” He continued.

“Trust me, I’ll treat you as normal as I would treat a human.” She shook her head while laughing.

When morning arrived and the library doors were opened, they exchanged numbers and a hug before separating.

That night not only did Ethan gained a new subscriber, he gained a new friend.

———————————————————————

“Y/n, let’s hang out.” Ethan whined through his phone.

While Y/n has her phone on loudspeaker as she’s jotting down and double checking her flash cards.

When Y/n didn’t answer, Ethan continued, “Y/n?”

Y/n hummed and Ethan asked again, “Hang out?”

“I can’t, I have finals coming up.” She reasoned out while writing through her flash cards.

“Y/n, you’ve been studying for the last 24/7.” Ethan groaned and Y/n chuckled, imagining Ethan rolled over his bed. 

“I can’t, this one would be very crucial.” Y/n said while adding some more words on the cards. 

“FIne, study well.” Ethan bid his goodbye and Y/n could just hummed before pressing end call.

Y/n sighed as she looked around her organized pile of books and notes around them all. She nodded her head and convinced herself that this is the only thing she should learn if she wants to get the first place.

She needs to or she would be back to sloppy second.

——————————————————————————————————

Ethan reached her dorm room and Y/n was bundled in her blankets. Her eyes have dark circles underneath and her eyes red. Her nose is really red and blotchy cheeks. 

“Bub, you okay?” He breathed out as he walked closer and locked the door. 

Y/n saw Ethan’s worried face and she broke down completely. She shook her head and soon enough it triggers her waterwork as it’s flowing fast. Ethan rushed to her side and pulled her into a tight hug.

“You’re okay.” He cooed as he traced her back and patted on the slightly. Y/n shook her head. Her tears smearing on to Ethan’s clothes and she leaned back words.

“Your clothes.” She croaked and Ethan just shook his head and brought her back into his arms. 

“Wanna talk about it?” He asked softly while bringing Y/n closer towards his lap.

“I failed.” She cried out loud and Ethan looked at her.He turned his head towards her nigthstand and saw a paper with 95/100. 

“Y/n, you got 95.” Ethan was so proud and confused. While would she be crying over such a good result?

As soon as she heard her score number, she cried harder and shook her head. “Lucy got 100.” 

Ethan would just have to pretend that he knows who Lucy is. He remembered Y/n talking about her as the rival. Someone who is on her tail to get back at Y/n or a higher score than her. 

Ethan really wanted to ask her, why? what’s wrong with losing to Lucy? 95 is still such a high number. But he held himself back, knowing that if Y/n needs someone to talk to, she could always turn to him. 

He gave her the time. 

He wrapped his arms tighter around her as she cried harder around him.

“I tried so hard, so hard.” Y/n said exasperatedly. Her eyes were weary and her hands moving violently.

“Y/n.” Ethan called for her name while standing in front of her. While she was breaking down.

Y/n shook her head murmuring, “No, No,” with her hand grabbing the side of her head.

“Y/n.” Ethan called her more sternly and Y/n halted her movement.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she shook her head and let all her guards down, “I can’t.” She whimpered.

Ethan sighed as he wrapped his arms tightly around the girl of his dreams. They stood there silently while Y/n is messing up her makeups and smearing tears on his shirt.

A small hiccups here and there and gentle “It’s okay.” Every now and then and somehow it calmed both of them down.

When Y/n was already calm, Ethan motioned her to his couch. He brought out blankets and wrapped them around her.

He walked in to the kitchen and preared a chamomile tea for the two of them, remembering that Y/n adores the tea.

“Wanna tell me now?” He asked silently and yet there’s a strong determination that is unwavering there. Somehow that made Y/n wanna tell him everything.

Y/n took a deep breath before ranting out all her frustration. All her fears and insecurities.

How she’s always second to her sister.

How she’s never the best in her family.

How she’s always nicknamed sloppy second by her cousins.

How she tried so hard and never once succeeded.

One of the many reasons why it molded Y/n to be the person who she is right now.

As she started spilling out her worries, Ethan somehow understood. Ethan has a twin and when the world is so carelessly comparing the two, he knows the feeling of becoming second.

He understood but he couldn’t put to words and comfort her because he knew, he knows that no words could comfort her mind and heart for being broken for so long.

“Y/n, I know it’s annoying when people say this,” He put the falling hair behind her face fram and smiled softly. Y/n’s puffy eyes looking back at him.

“You’ll always be my first choice, okay?” He whispered.

And goodness knows that Y/n hates cheesy stuff but somehow Ethan’s words stirred up feelings in her chest

Maybe it’s the way his gentle eyes looking back at her with adoration and sincerity. Maybe it’s the way his calloused hands softy tracing random patterns on her back and fingers playing her hair.

Maybe it’s because it’s just Ethan and her heart soars for him. She believed him.

She believes him.

She smiled softly and Ethan’s heart tutted and her sincere smile. He promised himself that day to keep that smile on for the rest of his lives.

Ethan leaned forward and pressed his lips on top of her head. “You’re my priority.” As he leaned back at stared at her, he continued, “Always.”

[moogiwarah]

upcat review tips pls : (( ⁠— from cc

More insights and hanash after the photo (๑･̑◡･̑๑)

Background

📝• Yung batch ko sa review center started the review on June 2019. UPCAT was on October 2019 pero starting August may pasok na so I wasnt rly spending lots of my time studying for the UPCAT.

📝• I only took the CETs for UP and DLSU-D and accountancy ang first choice ko for both campuses. Now you might wonder, bakit hindi business related ang 2nd choice ko (in UPD)? KASI GUSTO KO MAG-ARAL NG NIHONGO HAHAHA SHET (yes, pwede ka mamili ng asian language na aaralin in linguistics. altho limited choices, may japanese! 🤩 + as of 2020, UP lang ang nagooffer ng Undergraduate program for linguistics in the PH).

Make sure to pick courses that you WANT to study coz hindi ka sure kung anong course choice yung maipapasa mo. Sobrang tempting kasi mag-aral sa UP pag UPCAT passer ka, even if hindi first course choice. Bro, nung una talaga sabi ko kung hindi accounting wag nalang and I was all set to study accounting in DLSU-D,,, but—

source: Memorandum for Successful UPCAT Applicants

UP offers free and top quality college education in the PH,,, knowing that I had a sure ticket to enter the uni? I HAD to. 😩

UPCAT has 4 subtests (based on UPCAT 2019)

Language Proficiency (120 items)

Science (60 items)

Math (60 items; alloted with the most time)

Reading Comprehension (120 items)

Math

✏️ Fun? Fact: Nasa bandang dulo ng math subtest yung madadaling questions (mean, median, mode, average, etc.) so wrong move ako kasi di ako nagskip agad :( dont make the same mistakes that i did!

📝• i reALLY tried hard to study math,,, pero in the end hindi ko pa din talaga nagets ng tuluyan yung mga parts abt algebra, trigo etc. resulta, nasa 20+ over 60 questions lang nasagutan ko sa math subtest ng upcat (tapos may mga hula pa don. taena no? buti pumasa pa ko?)

(sighs, marami pa yan)

Tapos wala sa kalahati nasagutan ko sa math in upcat? very disappointing xD so kung sa tingin mo bobo ka sa math, ako din...nag-aral talaga ako sa lagay na yan (and mind you, i LIKE math lol) pero kay bobo ko pa din r.i.p.

Science

📝• Sinukuan ko na chem at physics (dasal nalang yon). nagfocus ako sa general science at konting biology kasi yun yung nagegets ko, and nasa 50 over 60 naman yung nasagutan at “educated guess” ko sa science (luckily! maraming gen sci 🤩)

Reading Comprehension

📝• Easiest subtest imo kasi wala namang formula or concepts na kailangan aralin para mahanap yung sagot,,, the answers are in the text, pagalingan at pabilisan lang humanap.

I’ve always been fond of reading fiction (as in many fics that are 200k words, slow burn, etc) so I’m not slow when it comes to reading. There’s an advice na basahin daw muna yung questions and theN scan the text for answers,,, pero during the UPCAT binasa ko muna yung texts and I did fine.

It all depends on what works for you. Medyo hirap ako na mag quicc read para hanapin yung parts na kailangan para sa sagot so binasa ko nalang lahat. Pero advisable lang yun kung confident ka sa reading speed mo (ofc, reading with understanding. it’s reading compre for a reason hahaha).

Madali pati humula dito xD

Language Proficiency

📝• I mostly reviewed subject verb agreement tapos yung Filipino part (sux pero mas nadadalian talaga ko sa English). I’m not great but I’m not bad with grammar so mej chill ako dito. If you read a lot (like me), most likely hindi ka masyado magsstruggle sa pag-aaral + sagot dito.

Nireview ko mga tropa ko sa language proficiency at sila naman, nireview ako sa math at sci.

it’s good to have study buddies para mamotivate niyo yung isa’t-isa, and help each other with subjects that you find difficult!

additional notes:

tbh wala akong balak ipush yung UP, i just wanted to take the upcat kasi mataas grades ko since elem so i wanted to see if keri ba ng utak ko makapasok sa ‘top uni in the PH’ ,,, and what do u know? hahaha.

in the end, it really boils down to studying and working hard. kung gusto mo talaga, punyeta ibigay mo na lahat. otherwise sobrang matatangahan ka sa sarili mo kasi “paano kung mas nag-aral pa ko?” “dapat pala inaral ko ‘yun” etc. etc. it’s stressful yeah, anxiety inducing yeah, ang sarap magmura yeah, pero push thru lang taena once in a lifetime lang bro (kasi isang beses ka lang pwede mag UPCAT eksdee).

Isang linyang nabasa ko mula sa “Kaguya sama: Love is War”

The pain of studying is temporary, but the pain of not studying lasts a lifetime.

[depressedramblingsbyme]

So it begins

This is a journal, diary, a void just somewhere i can put my thoughts without feeling like i’m just screaming into a void.

5/28/2020

I’m living in the u.s. my dad is German and my mum is American, while we live in the u.s. they’re laid back parents and have let me drink in the house on weekends since i was 15 or 16.(note: i got held back in first grade after moving from england so despite being born in 02 i graduate in 21) Being 17 i wanted to experiment, I've vaped but personally i don’t see the attraction so i tried weed as it’s starting to become legal. I figured i’m nearly an adult so what’s the big deal. Like an afternoon drink i enjoyed smoking. It helped me relax and be more open about myself and put on this picture perfect filter even if i was just talking to friends. And unlike nicotine i never craved it or felt like i needed it which is why i don’t fuck with nicotine. So life moves on like normal until October. they found some trash from a cart i opened, unfortunately my siblings have ruined weed for my parents as all my siblings who smoke decided to make some dumb life decisions (which i don’t want to type out) and are in my parents eyes not in the best position. Rightfully from their experience they’re against it, it’s not unreasonable to see the cause and effect relationship. lots of yelling and arguing ensue i don’t remember it too well but i didn’t get punished somehow. Fast forward to December My parents are worried for my grades, this year i was spending half my time at a technical school and my other half at my main high school. Perfect grades in technical school but my main school wasn’t the best. I had flat C’s with a b+ in English. In my eyes i had bitten off more than i could chew this year as i decided to take college algebra/trigonometry a class covering two years of college math in one, i suck at linguistics so Spanish class was rough, Chemistry is known for being tough, English always came easily to me but that class takes up a lot of time. So in my eyes my grades could be improved but to an extent it was justified and for the past two years i was on the high honor roll maintaining a 3.5+ gpa so it’s not the end of the world. To them they think that weed is what’s making my grades the way they are that i’m a stoner who just smokes pot all day and that’s all i want to do with my life. This makes me horribly angry for two reasons. The first being i - hate - potheads, ironic but if all you want to do is smoke with your life frankly i think you’re a boring person with no aspirations in life which isn’t what i want for myself i feel unbalanced and shitty if i’m not sober for a few days i would maybe smoke 2-3 times a week at night after i was done with my day or on the weekend with friends. So that’s the first thing that upsets me they think i’m a pothead who just wants to smoke weed all day. the second reason this makes me angry is that they’re completely fine with getting drunk, now i’m not calling my parents alcoholics (my dad doesn’t even drink that much it’s mainly my mum ) but shit at least once or twice a week my mum will be pretty fuckin drunk. which again is an okay thing to do they’re adults it’s their right my problem is that if the world is starting to put weed on the level of alcohol why is it so horrible if i get high occasionally to put off some stress like she does occasionally. Now i didn’t get to ask her this specific question but i did say “so it’s okay for you to get drunk but i can’t get high” to which she responded “i’m an adult, you’re not” if you trusted me to be adult enough to handle alcohol what makes me smoking any different. second semester we have 2 more “big” arguments about my grades, they keep relating it to pot. So at this point i had to 3rd person myself if you will. on one hand i didn’t believe pot to be affecting me as i thought i had control over it and never abused it, i knew what abuse looked like because of my siblings but never felt that way for myself. On the other maybe it is effecting me but i don’t realize it. So to humor the idea i go sober for a month, nah school is just hard it’s not weed. Idk if i typed this already but i understand if you don’t want to smell weed, or have it in your home but i don’t see the harm if i’m not bringing it anywhere near home. At around this point we entered quarantine, i didn’t mind online school however now my mum was hounding me constantly about school, if even one assignment was missing it would lead to more arguing. Now i know to a certain degree i didn’t give a fuck about the online work because at this point my grades weren’t going to be able to go down however i did 80% of my work. If i can’t understand trig in school what makes you think i can teach myself so for the most part i did school. At a certain point i felt this switch was flipped and it happened right around when quarantine started and since then i haven’t felt comfortable in my own home. it constantly feels tense between me and my mum i couldn't tell you what we argue over but i can’t even go hang out with friends without feeling like i’m doing something wrong, which makes me want to stay in my room all day which then makes them upset because they dont see me throughout the day which then leads to an argument and me storming back up to my room. so now that i’m in this cycle of shit frankly i just want to cry and enjoy my last summer but now i’m being threatened with being kicked out despite not even finishing highschool. i turn 18 in 9 days i don’t think i’ve ever been scared for a birthday. when i’m not crying and feel more level headed i do think about actually moving out though.

I mean if i broke it down what’s so horrible about only making 25k a year you can easily live in your own apartment with insurance and enough to save for the future and emergency, I've done the math and it just keeps cycling in my head because all my life I've been taught i need to go to college or make more than 60k a year but after doing the math, why. why put myself in debt if i can live comfortably, i mean shit any job paying something like $15 an hour (in the midwest) isn’t going to be anything to be proud of but if i can sustain myself and grow a retirement fund why not if i meet my partner they most likely have the means to sustain themselves so it would be easy to live together and currently i’d rather be sterilized then have a kid so that’s not an expense i want to think about as it’s something i do not want.

I want to finish highschool but living in my parents house makes me feel constantly on edge. In retrospect after writing this and reliving the past school year if i didn’t or if they didn’t know i smoked pot most of this would have never happened.

also i need a fucking job again at least it will get me out of the house

i’m posting this for my own sanity if you think i’m a dumbass tell me off in the comments if you have similar experiences, advice, encouragment etc feel free to put it in comments i appreciate feedback but frankly couldn’t care if you think i wasted my time in posting this

[nikatyler]

Short replies today just because I feel like writing them down. 

I’m playing with Realm of Magic now and I’m unsure about when to post it. Probably expect my RoM gameplay when the whole RoM excitement is gone and everyone is playing University or something. But hey, in a way, it’ll be a breath of fresh air, right? Right? I mean, I’ve never really cared about following simblr trends, I’m just doing my own stuff. But in case anyone was wondering when I’m going to post this Josie & Lucian gameplay I’ve talked so much about: I will. Later. Oh my god, Josian...I’m having so many feelings about them. I might post some screenshots without context, just like I did for the yellow gen. I love them so much.

As for i’m-about-to-enter-uni updates...is it just me, or are uni freshmen really just a bunch of confused kids released into the world of adults with no clear instructions? Because I feel like that’s exactly what me and my new friends are. A bunch of confused kids. This is going to be fun. In a way. Fun with a lot of freaking out on the side.

Alright, onto those replies. Also click if you want to see more of Josie. 👀

autistichatkid replied to your photo “Oooh boy. Why do I feel like I should go straight to the replies, or...”

WHOA WHOA WHOA jsyk you ABSOLUTELY dont have to redo settings for mccc... as long as you dont delete the mc_settings.cfg you never have to redo those

Wait so you’re telling me that this youtuber I watched years ago lied to me?? Because I remember her saying something along the lines “I hate redoing the settings after each update, I never know where it is”

My life has been changed now, thank you very much.

ayusims3 replied to your photoset “Roxanne: “What are you doing here? It’s 3 am.” Vanessa: “I was hungry....”

Lol I love this

Algebra, and maths in general...is definitely not missed here. I don’t know how I was able to get through it, all I remember is that I forgot everything right after finishing the test.

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “In case you were wondering what I’ve been thinking about since the...”

I was just saying on another post, Morgyn is so cute. I gave them some skin details but otherwise left them alone.

Yes! They’re one of the miracle townies who are perfect already and editing them is mainly just making them fit my style a little more.

desira-sims replied to your post “��for Ross and Caleb and then ��for your favorite.”

These two make me so happy. ��

Me too, me too...♥

1o8percent replied to your photoset “Waffle faces pt. 1”

Waffle faces are always so cute!

Yup. If I ever make my sim prepare waffles and don’t take a picture of them, just assume I’ve been abducted and a clone of me is playing the game.

1o8percent replied to your post “W-what? I didn't have my sim graphic settings on the highest option?...”

Was it for ts3 or ts4 because for some reason my graphics settings keeping getting reset after every update in ts4. ��

It was ts4...interesting, I don’t think that has ever happened to me. I had all my settings the way I remember them, only the sim settings were on high or medium, and not on the “very high” (or whatever the setting is called in English).

I’m a little bitter about it because I’ve only noticed it now and looking at my NSB screenshots, it’s been like this for months. I’m not sure if anyone else will notice it though or if it’s just me because I’m so used to my sims’ faces.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “~ stay beautiful”

She's so cuuute!

She is ;-; I randomly created her one summer night and fell absolutely in love. Actually, here are some more screenshots of her, just because.

She’s my cutest sim at the moment, there’s no doubt about it. ♥

plumbobhart replied to your photoset “In case you were wondering what I’ve been thinking about since the...”

I KNEW IT

I’m predictable haha. But looking at the notes, I feel like this has been on many people’s minds :D They do make a cute couple for sure.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “9, 18, 28”

I'd love anyone called Nebula *coughing*Favorite Avengers character*coughing*

I’ve never seen any Avengers movies *runs and hides*

Buuut, throwback to my middle school Winx Club obsession, there was a fairy named Nebula in my favourite season, season 4 (the last season, nothing after that is truly Winx, fight me - okay that was off topic but I feel strongly about this 😂). She was a bit of a bitch, but I loved her character. My Nebula is totally different though. I mean...I guess. She’s still a child, anything might happen. Ross was a sweet child and then he was an insufferable brat in high school, sooo...

myopiccc replied to your photoset “Lantana: Vanilla sims…my favourite snack!”

oh...urhhhhh... OK! XD

Did I mention that my sims are weird sometimes? Like really weird? :D

[fluffyseapancakes]

Can you write a platonic Peter Parker x reader where the reader is in the Avengers facility trying to do math homework and she struggles with math, so she gets so frustrated that she starts crying? Then Peter finds her and tickles her to cheer her up and then helps her with it? Could it be the Bucky's daughter one?

I can 200% relate to those math struggles, haha. Hope you like it! 

Bucky’s daughter fics Part 1   Part 2 

________________________

You were an Avenger, you’ve been on some kick-ass missions to destroy a terrorist group, your father was Bucky Barnes, most infamously known as the Winter Soldier. Clearly your life was different from most teenage girls and you had important missions coming up, and yet why in the heck were you forced to finish your algebra homework before the meeting?

You glanced at the clock and quietly moaned when you realized you only had fifteen minutes to finish the assignment. Your father had warned that he will check the homework for completion before you even stepped foot in the meeting room. Peter was already here and of course had all of his work done.

The numbers and equations on the page started to melt together in your mind and every time you tried to solve one, it didn’t match up correctly. Your notes were completely useless with the illegible squiggles and you were starting to regret using algebra as the official nap class. The only reason you were even accepted to Midtown was because you excelled at programming and making concoctions with household chemicals. One boring afternoon, you and Peter had a competition to see who could make the strongest web fluid with only the chemicals they found in the kitchen. To Peter’s horror, you won and Tony was greatly impressed by your skills, which led to him enrolling you in the same school as Peter. All the science and technology classes were a breeze and you had fun creating your own projects, but math rolled around and you were in huge trouble. Your father had taught you enough math to get by, but it was barely enough to qualify for the lowest level math class MSHS offered. Peter was a great tutor and Tony helped out when you stayed up till midnight trying to finish homework, your father felt bad that he couldn’t help much so he made you tea and gave encouragement when you were struggling.

“Y/N you finished yet?” Peter walked into the living room and peered over your shoulder to look at the assignment. Only three questions were filled out and the answers were all wrong. He opened his mouth to point out your mistakes, but he heard you sniffle softly. You felt tears burning at the corners of your eyes and you were mortified that you were crying, but you didn’t stop the tears from falling down your cheeks and hitting the paper.

“Hey don’t cry,” Peter immediately scooped you up from the chair and carried you away from the homework, he set you down on the large sofa and held you tightly, “a little assignment isn’t worth crying over.”

“I know,” you whispered, you leaned your head against Peter’s chest and closed your eyes, listening to his heartbeat, “I just feel so freaking stupid and the meeting’s starting any minute now.”

“I’ll help you after the meeting then, but for now you need to forget about the assignment,” he rubbed your back gently.

“How?” You mumbled, “I’ve been working on it all day and my brain is crammed with algebra.”

“Will it help if you laugh?” Peter smiled.

“Maybe,” you shrugged, “but your jokes kinda suck.”

“Excuse me,” he wriggled his fingers into your sides and you bursted out into a stream of giggles, “my jokes are top notch quality thank you very much.”

You clamped your arms down as his devious fingers travelled to your belly, his hands were trapped and you screamed with laughter when he dug in a little deeper. You lifted your arms back up and he immediately dug into your underarms. Ticklish shocks shot down your spine and you desperately tried to escape from his grasp, but he held you tightly in his arms.

“S-stop!” You cackled, you felt your face burning up from laughter and attempted to push him away from you.

“Then agree to take a break,” he reached down and squeezed the tops of your knees, you bucked up and a ridiculously high pitched squeal came out of your lips.

“I’ll take a break!” Sticking to his promise, Peter immediately stopped his attack and awkwardly blotted your wet cheeks with the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

“That was evil,” you panted out, trying to rub away the ticklish feelings from your body.

“That’s what best friends do,” Peter laughed and poked you in the ribs, you recoiled at the finger and hissed at him playfully.

“But now I can’t join in on the meeting because I didn’t finish,” you groaned, staring at the long abandoned piles of homework on the kitchen table.

“You can join,” Peter grinned, “I heard your dad telling Mr. Stark that he needed you to be briefed on the mission anyways, he just wanted you to get some motivation.”

You were silent as you processed the information, all those hours you frantically tried to finish your homework, all that frustration and feelings of failure, was basically useless.

“Father!” You stood up from the couch and screamed his name as it echoed throughout the tower. You and Peter, thanks to your enhanced hearing, heard Bucky’s concerned voice from a couple floors up.

“Oh shit.”

“Wait Y/N,” Peter tried to grab your arm but it was too late, you sped to the elevator in hot pursuit of your dad. Your abandoned friend walked over to the table with the homework assignments, he sighed and grabbed a pencil.

I can be a few minutes late, he thought to himself as he got started on the first problem. He made sure to clearly write down every step to solving the equation so you would be able to understand, and made some notes on why you got it wrong in the first place. Suddenly Bucky’s loud laughter echoed from the floor above him and the teenager shook his head with a smile. Ned would totally kill him if he found out Peter had skipped a meeting with the Avengers to do algebra, but he knew you were stressed out lately from school, you needed one night to not have to worry about anything and he was happy to help with that, because that is what best friends do.

[kpopidolsarehumanstoo]

“Sickly Boyfriend” Na Jaemin / Jaemin : Drabble

Pairing: Na Jaemin / Jaemin (NCT) x male reader:

Genre: Fluff

Relationship with reader: The both of you are in a relationship (duh).

Quick Summary: You just had the worst case of the flu, and you felt like dying. You were slowly getting tired of being sick when all of a sudden your cute boyfriend decided to cut classes to take care of you.

Warning: Cursing

A/N: This took me about an hour in school, I should have done this earlier oof. anyways please enjoy UwU.

P.S. Yes I know it is quite short. Im sorry lol.

Word Count: 702

You sneezed for the 8th time and finally felt relief from the ticklish sensation from your nose.

You are currently on your couch, trying to watch Tv while experiencing the worst flu ever. You felt as if your bones were giving up on you.

You sniffed and proceeded to cover yourself even further with your blanket, since it seemed like the temperature dropped by about 5 degrees (celcius). You hear a small giggle from beside you. You tilt your head towards their direction and was met face to face with Jaemin, his head on the sofa.

You jump back, startled from his sudden appearance. But the moment you landed, you let out a long string of moans and curses, your bones aching at the most sensitive of touches.

He giggles once again and decided to sit next to you.

You stared at him with uncertainty.

"How the fuck did you get inside my house? I didnt even hear the door open." You asked, more like croaked since your throat felt like sandpaper and your voice sounded like fingernails against a blackboard, yet he did not seem to mind.

"That is because I did not use your door." He said, bopping your red nose cutely.

Your face was etched with confusion, "The fuck bitch, how? Is this some teleportation voodoo shit going on right now?" You said.

He realized that your throat was in bad shape, so he took your water bottle and gave it to you.

"No, m/n, it wasnt teleportation voodoo shit." He said. "Your kitchen window was open."

You spin your head around quickly, and regretted it since now your head hurts. But alas, your kitchen window was wide open, air easily passing through.

"So thats why its cold."

All of a sudden you felt warm hands wrap around your body, and you felt his body heat against yours. You instantly melt in his arms, you have been freezing for the past 5 hours and the warmth was much appreciated. He slowly moved your body into a spooning position with you as the small spoon.

You felt him position his head on the crook of your neck, his breathing against yours.

A faint blush spreads through out your cheeks and you perhaps smiled a little bit, thankful that your boyfriend was there to help you in time of need.

"I love these moments, you in my arms, away from danger, just you, and me." You smile a little bit.

"Me too." You said. You slowly nuzzled your nose on his arm and you hear him giggle.

You feel your eyelids drooping, slowly closing, ready to go to a deep slumber. When all of a sudden you remembered something.

You turned around and looked him in the eyes. Jaemin opens his eyes immediately and looked back at you.

You contort your face in pain as you felt your head thud in pain.

"Why the fuck are you here? Its high noon! You have Algebra next!" You whisper yelled.

He took the remote and turned off your Tv, and went back to cuddling you again. "Im cutting class. My boyfriends health is much more important than my pesky grades." He said, taking your blanket and covered the both of you with it.

"The fuck are you talking about?" You said.

You opened your mouth once again to retaliate but suddenly, you felt soft lips press against yours. You felt your knees weaken as he moves his lips according to yours. A sweet and soft kiss it may be, yet it was enough to convey the message.

The kiss broke and you felt him stare deep down into your soul. "You dont know how important you are to me. You need to know that, even if it means having to cut class. Because if I needed to choose, I will always choose you. Ok?" He said, pressing his lips unto yours again.

"Ok."

"Maybe ok can be our forever."

"Get the fuck out with your cheesy book references."

He laughs and goes back to nuzzling your neck.

"On a serious note tho, you just kissed me. Youre gonna get the flu."

"Even more reasons for me to cut class."

"Get the fuck out."

A/n: I just honestly live, breathe, and die for Jaemin like he is so perfect uwuwuwuwu. 

P.S. also as a side note, If yall like classic R&B could yall go and stream Mariah Careys new songs, Get the fuck out, and with you. It would mean the world to me thanksss <3.

[burningalight]

my binders/locker in grade school were stuffed with so much shit i couldnt find anything...always crumpled up papers, trash etc

chewed pencils/pens, broke them taking them apart in class, lost them, often didn’t have one, frequently borrowing them and forgetting to give them back to the point that certain people wouldn’t give me pencils

could comprehend reading i liked very well, but when we’d have reading groups with boring books id always be lost,  or when the teachers would have one on ones and have u read something short and ask questions after to assess ur reading level, they’d often have to tell me to read it again bc they knew how much i remembered didnt add up to my intelligence and reading speed 

moms college friend gave me an unoffical iq test and i did much worse than i know i shouldve on the reading portion bc she’d play a story and then ask me after to list every detail i could remember and i couldn’t remember anything. but when she played 10 numbers and asked me to say them out loud backwards i scored extremely high ?

couldnt do projects, would be in tears, last minute every time, parents mad bc i need a poster board RIGHT NOW ITS DUE TOMORROW . hated assigned reading, horrible at essays even when they helped us plan them. 

i remember my 7th grade social studies teacher assigning a paper, i wrote extremely detailed and well in the first paragraph or 2, and the following ones got shorter and shorter and were completely bullshit bc i got bored. she told me ‘really strong first paragraph.’ and gave me a B  

talk too got damn fast. customers constantly telling me to slow down bc they cant understand me

my mom always says she had to challenge me as a kid bc i would get bored and get in trouble. i was acting out bc i was understimulated, i happened to like learning (esp numbers and puzzles) bc smart so that’s what i could fixate on and felt stimulated by

lunch detention frequently in 8th grade in my first highschool class, algebra, bc i wouldnt do my homework, at one point he just stopped giving lunch detention for that bc i wouldnt do it. i hated that class bc the math was boring and i never paid attention but would somehow pull off a’s and b’s on tests so i ended up with a B. my first B, and i had brought that up from a D (told my mom it was almost a C, he gave a really hard test and we all did bad etc, when she had to sign a paper about my low grade) at the end of the year, during the exam i was so confused the whole time, it was my first highschool exam and i didn’t know ANYTHING. i ended up with a 92 from guessing, and a curve, and every one of my friends got at least a 93 or better and i felt so stupid bc i was supposed to be the best at math

i would take every highschool class in honors but not one english class bc it required more essays and summer reading and i knew i wouldnt do the reading and would cry over the essays

the only other class i didnt take honors was chemistry bc i knew the honors teacher had a lot of projects and i would be stressing over them. i ended up with an A in the standard chem class even tho i never finished any work in class and didnt do homework, but i was still the smartest in the class and did the best overall

lunch detention for forgetting to get papers signed like report cards. they weren’t even bad grades i just couldnt remember. one time i got actual detention for forging my moms signature bc i got lunch detention for several days straight bc i kept forgetting to get the paper signed 

often had permission slips waiting to be signed the day before the field trip, or told my mom it was picture day the day before or morning of. one time i totally forgot it was picture day and didnt dress up

acting out and not thinking ab the consequences, many referrals.. many more times that my teachers let me get away with acting out when someone else doing the same thing would’ve been punished. one time anna and i left in the middle of class to go with emma to the library, only emma had permission, and my teacher had anna and i do wall sits instead of going to the office. in gym in middle school i would never dress out. i hated the clothes and hated gym bc i was awkward and if we didnt dress out we had to copy pages out of the health textbook the entire time and i would barely write 2 paragraphs bc i was so bored and my hand hurt and he never did anything ab it. i wouldnt dress out at least twice per week if not more. told my mom I had a C bc he had it out for me but i was the problem

in elementary school if we didn’t come to gym day wearing the right shoes we had to go into the back and pick out a pair of sneakers that fit out of a box of shoes, and also borrow socks if necessary. i had to do this frequently bc i never remembered to wear the right shoes

i would extremely often forget my library books and have to sit on the couch waiting for everyone to pick out their books for half an hour

when we were even younger we’d have story time and you had to sit in the middle of the floor inside a big circle of chairs where everyone else was if you forgot your library books. i lost one at one point for months and my parents didnt just pay for it so i had to sit in the middle every time. we found the book on a shelf somewhere in the house 

my chorus teacher never liked me bc i talked too much and i always felt like the worst singer, not bc of my singing but bc she wasn’t ever nice to me

in 7th grade science we learned latin root words and every day we’d play a game where we all stood up and one by one he’d ask for a root and we’d give it. if you got it wrong on the first round you’d have to write it on a piece of paper x amount of times and turn it in. if you were the last person left you were allowed to sit on your desk for the rest of the year, during these games while everyone else had to stand up. i wanted so badly to sit on my desk, esp bc i was fidgety and couldnt stand still, but i would never study them bc i’d forget or not want to if i did remember, even tho i really wanted to know them and sit on my desk. that teacher had a huge soft spot for me and one day i just started sitting on my desk during those. everyone knew i was smart, and it was all the smart kids who got to sit on their desks, so no one questioned it. im not sure if he knew i wasnt supposed to and just let me, or didnt realize i hadnt won bc i was smart. 

hyperlexia? mom said i could practically read before i was taught. i’ve always obsessively air written, ie writing words out w my finger in the air, on my leg etc. 

esp during lectures i doodle excessively to the point that my papers margins have always been covered with random scribbly overlapped words, or song lyrics. the words are usually something someone in the class said. ive started keeping an extra sheet of paper just for scribbling when im taking notes or listening in class. when we finished end of year tests in school i would write down full lyrics to songs on my scrap paper so i wouldnt be so bored. my hand cramps up so much but it was better than staring or trying to sleep with the lights on 

doing things and forgetting to turn them in

hyperfixating on books to cope w boredom and social anxiety, at one point read one per day, i was definitely one of the most frequent people in the library 

‘ The way I see it is if I can get information into my mind, I can do a lot with it but getting it in there in the first place is the really difficult part.’ - not mine

none of my teachers ever told my mom any of this i dont think, bc i was the smartest and i always got good grades, most had a soft spot for me BUT COULDNT SEE I HAD ADHD like damn. one time my fourth grade teacher whom i liked a lot was mad at us and indirectly calling people out, and referred to the fact that some of us never stopped talking , then made direct eye contact with me and i felt rly embarrassed bc i didnt realize i did that until she mentioned it

i often had to move seats if i was near friends bc i wouldnt stop instigating talking

at big lots when i had to run the register i was so painfully bored , fidgety, had to sneak my phone soo much bc i was so bored. when i was on the floor i would put away the go backs very quickly and then take upon myself a project like going through the entire wall of individual drinks and pulling out all the expired ones, it was like 5 carts full. my manager put me in charge of organizing the entire makeup section and all the gross clearance makeup bc she knew id do it the best and fastest 

when bosses have me do inventory i can count the products super fast and efficiently, but then when they have me put them into a spreadsheet i stare at it for hours getting nothing done bc distracted and its boring. ammar told me if i’d just get off my phone i could get it done bc he’d been asking for it for weeks, i wasnt trying to ignore it 

when im trying to do something at work that needs more concentration, i want to cry with frustration whenever i hear the door chime and have to get up and help customers and break my focus