#(don't !!! let her wallow !!! don't give her the comfort of self-pity !!!)

[softersinned]

god there is a dynamic that always knocks my socks off and that i always want to write - astoria's a deeply selfish woman. love, for her, means accepting someone else as an extension of herself. and that can result sometimes in a brief selflessness, but it is at its core selfish. and pairing her with someone who has a similar selfishness but also a deep driving force of good is always a blast, because it forces astoria to approximate becoming better in a very roundabout way: it serves her purpose to serve their purpose, and therefore, for them, she will do good things.

but because she's new at being good, she doesn't quite know what she's doing, now or ever. and i love the idea of her going way overboard to save someone she loves, including by putting herself at unnecessary risk. i love the idea of her trying so hard to be good for them and to protect them that she fucks up pretty irreconcilably. and rather than letting her wallow in self-pity, they force her to move forward and deal with the consequences. and i love love love the way she has to battle her own guilt surrounding this.

basically - and i haven't seen this far in DW so i can't speak to the context - these gifsets.

[seonne]

"Just So You Know..."

Bakugou Katsuki x Reader (Reader was mentioned as "she" once)

Disclaimer: Comfort fic, mentions of familial bullshit, but it's purely comfort. Reader speaks, like, one sentence in this whole thing.

"Look, you know I'm shit with emotions and shit like that. But it's fucking annoying seeing you cooped up in your room wallowing in self pity, so speak the fuck up!"

You were not in a mood to talk to people. Hell, you didn't even want to talk to yourself, didn't want to walk around your room making up fake arguments and yelling at the air. You didn't want to talk, walk, cry, laugh, sing, anything. You just wanted to sit in silence and let your thoughts consume you.

But of course, your no-nonsense boyfriend wouldn't be okay with it.

You hugged your knees closer to you as your boyfriend sat himself on the floor beside you, back leaning onto your bed.

"I know you're upset, but I have no idea if it's because of me or someone or something else. So you need to speak at least a single word for me to understand what's going on and how to fix it."

You stayed silent and rigid, the only part of you moving being your eyelids when you blinked and your chest as you inhaled and exhaled.

Inhaled and exhaled.

Inhaled and exhaled.

Time seemed to be moving fast and slow, running and crawling, chasing and waiting. Merciless.

You felt Katsuki moving beside you but you didn't have it in you to look at him, talk to him.

I'm sorry.

It's not your fault.

I know I shouldn't be giving you the silent treatment.

This is not a silent treatment.

I want to talk to you.

Please keep talking.

I want to hear you.

But you stay mum.

An arm circles around your shoulder and you're pulled into a sturdy chest, as the ball you've rolled yourself into.

"It's fine if you don't want to talk. I'll make you talk later."

His voice softly caresses over you as your ears zone into him, away from the sound of your ceiling fan and the pit-pat of the rain outside. The lilt of his voice is careful, placed with his love, careful in a way he hopes to all the gods above that he doesn't upset you further while also awkwardly navigating and voicing his own genuine concern.

A comforting silence follows afterwards as you snuggle deeper into his chest.

"Are you okay with answering yes or no questions?"

You nod.

"Are you..." His voice trails as he blinks and looks away, composing himself.

'Don't get mad even if her answer may make you mad.'

"Are you upset... because of me?"

You shake your head no. A soft sigh of relief escapes him before he quickly catches it back.

"Was it your parents?"

Nod.

He nods back, understanding.

He knows how your parents tend to be and how you act whenever you encounter them. They say the dumbest shit about you, accusingly, denyingly.

And you believe them.

You believe the bullshit they say about you, how the rest of your family acts about it and how absolutely devastated it leaves what's left of your mental health.

So he waits, patiently, as you sit dead silent propped against him, breathing him in and trying to silence your thoughts.

"...Can you keep talking?"

And he does. He goes on about his day. How "fucking Shitty Hair" barged into the meeting room late as hell and embarrassed himself and Katsuki, how "stupid nerd ass Izuku" flopped while trying to take lead on a joint mission, how he went out on a "boring ass patrol" because the only thing he encountered was a petty thief trying to steal from an old lady.

The story about the old lady trying to set him up with her granddaughter as a form of gratitude brought a short giggle out of you which set him at ease, a small smile gracing his lips.

An easy silence fills the room, enveloping the both of you in it's warmth, despite the rain outside. The crackle of thunder that used to intrigue and excite you, now consoled you, singing you praises of yourself and the wonderful person next to you, who is going way out of his comfort zone to comfort you. The rain smiled at you, singing her lullaby as your eyes fall closed.

A soft kiss on your forehead brought an equally soft smile to your face as the voices in your head faded.

"Just so you know... whatever they said ain't shit. You're amazing and you're never ever a fucking burden, you got that? You're an amazing person and...I love you, god damn it! Don't let anyone make you feel like shit."

You allowed yourself a single tear as it rolled down your cheek. Your sorrow, your self pity, low self esteem, broken heart, hurt feelings, love, joy, satisfaction, comfort. All your emotions, packed into the single drop that dropped to soak into the heart of the man that held you closer than ever; a promise to never let go.

Dutifully writing my own comfort fics because I have come to the realisation of the importance of them. I hope anyone reading this knows that they're loved, and no matter the shittiness of your situation, it will all pass eventually. After all, sad moments are what make the happy moments of life that much sweeter.

Lots of love!

[tiredmetalenthusiast]

To Start Anew (TF141xLATA!Reader) Ch.1

This was just a little thing that popped into my head! Like what if home gurl got left at the altar, took the honeymoon trip and met the 141 men along the way? The Kyle mentioned at the beginning is not our boy Gaz so don’t be alarmed! And to clear up any confusion LATA is just short for "Left At The Altar".

Warnings so far: Swearing, being left at the altar, unhealthily fast switch up from sad to mad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today was supposed to be the best day of your life. Your dream venue was decorated to perfection, all the guests had shown up minus a few because of life and other things, and you understood saying you'd send them their gift bags and photos.

You stood in the room surrounded by your bridesmaids, mother, sister , mother in law Molly and sister in law Tara. The wedding would start in a few minutes and in that time you would never have believed the utter heartbreak you would experience.

A sharp, hurried knock sounds at the door, urgency and dread rearing their ugly heads. “We have an emergency!” came from behind the door and the best man, Jack, entered.

Your mother and Molly look at him as the others give worried looks, your MOH Hana gripping your hand. “He's not here. He's not answering his phone, his work doesn't know where he is.” Rage flashes in Molly's eyes, the woman had loved you the moment she met you and you'd never seen rage on her like this before.

“What do you mean ‘he's not here and you can't find him’?! The wedding starts in 20 minutes and you're just now telling me he hasn't been here the entire time?!” The woman is furious. Your mom and sister are furious. The bridesmaids and MOH are furious.

Finally, Tara decides to speak up, guilt eating away at her. “He's not coming.” Molly's head snaps so fast towards Tara, you thought it would break. “You'd best start explaining right now Tara, before the consequences become severe!”

Your mom and sister drag Jack further inside the room, cornering the two of them. The explanation breaks your heart, the pair going on about how he had realized he hadn't actually wanted to get married. Your sobs break the story and everyone looks at you with pity.

“Was there another woman? Was he cheating on me?!” You managed to get out past the sobs and now raw, irritated throat. “No! Trust me I checked through everything he owned! There is no other woman!” If anyone would know it would be Jack, the man was a tech wiz.

You nodded and dropped your head into your hands. “Well, best we go let everyone know there isn't gonna be a wedding.” Tears streaming down your face you barge from the room, party trailing behind you as phones are pulled out to make calls or send texts.

Hana quiets the band as you reach the altar, mic in hand. You take a deep, shaky breath. “H…hm…” You clear your throat as Hana brings you a cold glass of champagne and takes the mic from you.

“Hello everyone! I stand before you all to let you know that the wedding will not be happening. Kyle has decided he doesn't want to marry and has vanished. No one has been able to reach him.” The gasp from the crowd is so loud it muffles a new round of sobs. Whispers are quiet but the anger is not.

Your dad rushes to the altar to comfort you as Hana rubs a hand across your back. There are rude comments made about time and money wasted and comments made to console your crying self. The rude commentary was shut down by the bridal party immediately, especially after Becky punched someone and verbally ran them through, because they how dare they make an already shitty day worse.

The reception hall is opened as well as the bar. Your mother makes sure you don't drink yourself stupid as you wallow in your anguish. Hana and the other bridesmaids plop down around you, drinks in hand and bashing your now ex. “So, as it stands I would let him know it’s over.” “Yeah, and then after that you can hop on the honeymoon plane and relax in Italy! Drink some bangin wine, eat so much pasta you get absolutely sick of it! Maybe meet a nice Italian guy? Wink wink~!”

Hana rolls her eyes while the others smile and wiggle their eyebrows at you. You shake your head and give a small smile, pulling out your phone and bringing up Kyle’s number to begin typing. ‘Hey jackass, hope you’re enjoying wherever the hell you’re at. Sending this complimentary text to confirm that we are, in fact, over. Have fun and lose my number cuz I’ll be blocking your’s. Fuck you, sincerely your ex fiance! PS. I’m still taking the honeymoon trip.’

”Good on you dear. His father and I will be sure to tear him a new one should we be in contact.” “Thank you Molly. Don’t be a stranger and I’ll be sure to bring you and Terry something back from Italy.” “A bottle of sweet red would be lovely if you can find it!” You nod and block Kyle’s number along with blocking him on everything else. “What time is the flight?” “Oh, uh, like 7am tomorrow. I’ll be there for 2 weeks.” “Best get home and sleep then.” Your mom and sister gathered you up and got you to the room to change back into your normal clothes before heading home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tags: @cumikering

[tojisrealwifey]

Just One Chance

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Synopsis: Senju makes a promise to wait for [name] before [name] moves. She's back after 10 years but loving Senju seemed to have backfired on her. Now, as she wallows in self-pity she is reunited with her ex, Mikey.

note: this is an alternate ending for my senju fic. you don't need to know the story but if you're interested you can find it here.

・❥・requests : rules

WARNINGS: MDNI, 18+, Smut, Oral Sex (f.receiving), Fingering, Squirting, Masturbation, Slight Somnophillia, Dacryphilia, Slightly OOC Mikey, Cringe Arguments, Manipulative Reader [she is very selfish], Non-Canon Couples, Drinking, Mentions Of A Foursome.

・❥・wc: 7.8k

・❥・masterlist

"Hey, [name]!" Hearing a faint shout from behind her, she turns around whilst taking off her earphones. She is met by Takeomi and a woman who were making their way through the airport crowd.

She also starts to walk towards them, her black suitcase dragging behind her. 

As soon as she was an arm's distance from them, Takeomi pulled her into a hug. Despite cringing slightly, [name] couldn't stop her lips from perking up into a soft smile. 

"How are ya, [name]?" Takeomi asks her, pulling away. She replies with a faint 'good' before Takeomi is pushed away by the woman who was beside him.

"Hello [name]-chan, it's so nice to meet you." The red-head woman offers a handshake which [name] accepts. 

"Hello, Rika-san, and likewise. Again, I'm really sorry for not attending the wedding, I had crucial exams that week." [name] replies, maintaining her professional tone.

"Awhh, that's no problem honey, also relax, you sound so stiff!" Rika chuckles. 

"I don't- this is how I talk." [name] says, tilting her head slightly. 

"Damn, I'm still not used to you talking so politely, architecture uni really killed your attitude, didn't it?" Takeomi laughs out.

"Or maybe it's cause I'm no longer 17." [name] rolls her eyes. 

"I definitely spoke too soon, the attitude is still there! Anyways, give me your luggage so we can leave already, I hate airports." Takeomi shudders and takes the suitcase from her.

"Honestly, you and your dislike for airports." Rika scolds jokingly but nonetheless follows her husband.

The ride home was quite enjoyable in [name]'s opinion. Rika and she kept chatting away, especially the former, but she did get questions about her job thrown at her which she answered happily. 

[name] had worked extremely hard to get into this profession so, of course, she'll speak proudly of it.

After some time, they finally reached home. When Takeomi was pulling up the car, she noticed her brother, Wakasa, walking out the front door. 

As the car halts, she immediately jumps out and goes to hug her brother, and he does so without any complaints. 

"I missed you..." He smiles into the embrace. 

"Obviously not enough to come pick me up." [name] rolls her eyes playfully. He grunts at her comment but smiles when he notices that she has started to become comfortable showing more emotions.

"Okay, come on, let's go inside. Freshen up, I'll prepare some food."

It had been a day since she arrived back in Japan, 24 hours yet she still hadn't seen the person she longed for the most. 

Right now she sat at the dining table across from Takeomi and his wife, as Wakasa cooked dinner.

She was wearing a pair of comfortable shorts but was wearing a white formal dress shirt since she had just gotten off an online meeting a few minutes ago.

Not being able to contain her thoughts of the pink-haired girl, she confronts Takeomi about it.

"Takeomi-nii, where's Senju?" [name] finally let the question spill. Takeomi freezes. She also didn't miss how Wakasa momentarily paused his cooking. 

"What..?" she asks hesitantly, her mind filled with awful thoughts.

"[name], Senju...she uh.." Takeomi lets out some incoherent babble not knowing what to say. 

"Nii-san?" she turns to her brother this time who also froze up, not giving a proper explanation.

[name] immediately stands up and runs out ignoring her brother's calls from behind her. The cold air hit bare legs. 

She doesn't pay mind to her shorts that keep riding up with every speeding step. She took in heavy breaths but didn't stop till she reached Senju's apartment building. 

Finally halting, takes a moment to recover her breath. Entering the building she first checks the nameplates. 

If [name] remembered correctly, the Akashis' flat was 703. And she was correct, except that instead of Takeomi's name, the apartment seemed to be owned by Akashi Senju.

PING!

She heard the elevator open from behind her. She turns to see a few people emptying out of the elevator, when it is finally clear of people she enters the elevator. 

Pressing the 7th floor she secretly admires the interior of the elevator. She couldn't believe how much this building had changed over 10 years.

The elevator door opens up as it reaches the 7th floor and instantly walks out of it. Walking along the corridors she searched for the door with the number '703'.

Her eyes finally catch the said number and her feet move her towards it. Her vision slightly darkened due to her nervousness but still found the strength to ring the doorbell.

Immediately, she hears a few shuffles as a few footsteps grew closer to the door.

The door swung open as [name]'s face brightened at the thought of finally seeing Senju again.

Except, it wasn't.

Instead of seeing Senju's light pink hair, she was greeted by light brown hair. 

"Yes..?" The shorter woman in front of her spoke. 

"Oh-um...is Senju here?" [name] asks in a faint whisper, suddenly losing her voice, her head instinctively lowers to face her feet.

"[name]?" The other questions in a shocked tone. [name] snaps her head back up, taking a moment to realize who she is speaking to.

"Yuzuha?" She questions, her heart beginning to pound. 

"Ugh, who is it love?" [name] hears a familiar voice, noticing how it had grown slightly mature. 

The girl that she loved walked into the frame, her eyes widening at the sight of [name]. 

Senju sucked in a breath, shock embedded on her face as she stared at [name] with guilt in her eyes.

"Um, [name] please come in..." Yuzuha moves out of the way. [name] mindlessly agrees, taking off her shoes and walking in. 

She was so stunned she failed to notice her actions.

"You both should talk, I'll be inside if you need me." Yuzaha gives a sad smile and walks further into the apartment.

Their lips were sealed shut, both were unable to start the conversation, that was until [name] noticed a shiny rock on Senju's ring finger.

"You're married?" [name] asks. Following her gaze, Senju lifts her hand and fidgets with the ring.

"No, just engaged." Senju replies with a quiet voice.

"Since when?"

"Just now actually..." Senju answers.

[name] closes her eyes, her head tilting back slightly as she accepts the reality of the situation. Her roughed-up appearance made sense now.

They were going to have sex.

[name] felt her throat close up, her heart frantically beating in an unpleasant way. 

Oh, it hurts...

It hurts so much. 

She only now realized how much pain Senju had been put through during their teenage years.

"[name]...I-" 

"Don't." [name] interrupts her.

"It doesn't matter." She continues, releasing a heavy breath. 

"[name] please-"

"Stop Sen-"

"NO, LET ME SPEAK!" The shorter female says raising her voice. [name] stills.

"I- I'm sorry, [name]." Senju's voice wavers as she apologizes.

"Sorry about what?" [name] snaps, her question coming out more stern than she intended.

"I- I-" Senju starts but is cut off when [name] sighs sadly.

"You're sorry that you moved on from me? You're sorry that you broke your promise that you'd wait for me? You're sorry that you're engaged?" [name] asks her.

Senju says nothing except look at the floor guiltily. [name] lets out another sigh.

"You found someone you love and makes you happy. You have nothing to be sorry about Senju." [name] says. 

"Then why are you looking at me like that?" Senju asks, finally meeting eyes with [name]. Her vision blurred with tears noticing the [name]'s countenance.

"Like what?" 

"Like you're disappointed in me..." Senju replies in a whisper.

"I am disappointed, but not at you. I am disappointed in myself because I let you down for so long. So if it's anyone that should be sorry, it's me." [name] says but Senju denies shaking her head, tears rolling down her face.

"Please Senju, you just got engaged. Please don't ruin such a happy occasion crying over someone like me..." [name] turns and walks closer to the door.

When she finished wearing shoes, a broken sob reached her ears. 

[name] refused to turn around, because she was aware that if she did, she would break completely.

As much as she wanted to comfort her, [name] knew...

Senju was no longer hers to comfort.

"Goodbye, Senju." [name] says and walks out, pulling the door shut behind her.

[name] walked into the convince store hoping to buy some ice cream. As much as she hated sweets, she wanted something extremely cold.

She hoped to get a brain freeze while eating it, that might help to cool her raging thoughts. 

Once reaching the ice cream section, she gets distracted by the alcohol refrigerator right next to it. Against her better judgment, her hand reaches for the sake bottle.

Five minutes later she was sitting on the pavement with two beers and a pack of cigarettes. 

After realizing she didn't have enough money on her to pay for sake she decided to settle for a can of beer and a cigarette pack. The second beer came with the buy one got one free offer, a total steal honestly.

Although she was never a fan of drinking or smoking, the night called for it. She stands up and decides to savor the commodities in her hands at her favorite spot. 

Reaching the rooftop of the abandoned building, she reminisces about the moments spent at the bowling area that was just a floor beneath her. 

It was her and Mikey's favorite spot.

Oh my god, Mikey...

She hadn't seen him since that day, and honestly, she was glad. She certainly didn't have the courage to face him.

She sat down near the door, knowing she'll be drunk off her ass in the next few minutes, and wanted to avoid any accidents just because she couldn't cope with a stupid heartbreak. 

She took out a single cigarette and placed it between her lips going to light it a bit then realized, she didn't have a lighter...

Letting out a grunt of frustration at her foolishness she places the stick back into the box. She clenched her teeth in anger knowing she just spent 500 yen on cigarettes that couldn't even use.

Despite wanting to chuck the pack away, she didn't. Instead, she held it close.

They were of Benson & Hedges, Shinichiro's favorite brand. 

[name] sighs. This is why she left, just a day back in Japan and she's already depressed. She wished she had never come back, she was happy in the Philippines, but again, she couldn't just leave her brother behind.

She opens one of the beer cans and starts sipping from it. 

Knowing that her alcohol tolerance was non-existent she only decided to drink just a bit, making sure to stay coherent enough to walk down multiple stairs and go back home.

But of course, God has never been on her side, has he?

Sips turned into gulps and within the next minute, she had already started sipping on the second can. 

She didn't know if it was the slight anger towards Senju, or because she was here on the rooftop, but she found her thoughts slipping from Senju to Mikey.

She smiles fondly remembering how much this place meant to her, to them.

They had shared many firsts here. Actually, except for their first kiss, every other first happened here.

The first time they drank, the first time they tried to smoke, first proper confessions, first date, first 'I love you's, the first time they--

[name] cringed at the memory, she couldn't believe how reckless they both were at the time, but what did two 14-year-olds know at that time?

That's what love did, it made them feel like they were the only ones here, and it truly made them feel invincible.

Love is such a dangerous emotion for someone so young, but they both fell into its captivity without realizing it.

They say that an average person falls in love three times.

The first love. The type of love that happens at a young age which is frequently referred to as puppy love. 

It feels euphoric at that time and being young and inexperienced doesn't make you understand what you truly feel.

As you get older, you think back to it and try to figure out if it was really love.

Mikey was her first love.

Then comes the second love.

It is said to be the painful one, it's the one that helps you grow. 

It's said to come with a lot of pain, lies, betrayal, drama, and so on...

And although she was grateful Senju never put her through all this, she wouldn't deny that Senju was her second love.

Lastly, it's the third love.

It's usually the one.

[name] could only wonder when she'll find her third love. 

It's said to come blindly; when your soulmate just walks into your life unexpectedly--

"[name]...?" A soft yet stern speaks from behind her.

[name] felt her heart drop and her breath got stuck in her throat. 

Just when she was having an inner monologue about love he just had to walk into her life again, didn't he?!

"M-Mikeyy...~" [name] slurs turning to face him. 

"What are you doing?!" Mikey raises his voice in shock seeing how drunk she is. 

"Oh just thinking about all the times we fucked here, why else would I be here?" [name] smiles although in her mind she cringes, not believing she some something like that.

'I am never drinking again.' [name] promises herself.

"Come on, I'll take you home..." Mikey walks towards her and takes hold of her wrist. 

"No! Come sit and d-drink with m-*hic* me~" She tugs him closer but he doesn't budge.

"[name], lets go." He says sternly once again, but she only shakes her head.

"No- come on just a drink, just like old times~" [name] pushes her half-empty can of beer into his face. 

He sighs in defeat and takes it from her.

"If you insist." but instead of drinking, he chucks the can over his shoulder obviously not realizing how much force he used because it ended up falling over the roof and landing on the road with a soft clatter.

[name] gaped at him in shock.

"No! Why did you do that?!" She stands up immediately and goes to push him, only to miss and trip over her own feet.

Luckily, he stopped her fall. [name] looks back at him, only to realize she was seeing two of him, her vision suddenly blurred as she felt herself sobering up at the sight of him.

She finally got a good look at his face, and for a second the same feeling of love filled her stomach. 

"Manjiro..." Her vision clears up and her eyes fall on the dragon tattoo on his neck. 

Lifting her hand she traces the ink on his neck, slowly striding closer, and instinctively places her lips on his. 

But to her disappointment, he doesn't respond and pulls away within the very second. 

They both stand in silence trying to understand the situation. She was surprised by her own actions, the shock sobering her up completely.

She takes a few steps back and starts apologizing.

"I'm sorry, that was very out of line...that was definitely not fair to your girlfriend." [name] says, the words spilling out before she can stop them.

"Oh? So it's fair to me?" Mikey replies haughtily. [name] shakes her head.

"It's unfair to you too..." She looks away, unable to muster up to courage to look at him.

"Hmm, don't worry about it. Plus, I don't have a girlfriend." He replies.

"Oh, boyfriend...?" She asks.

"No boyfriend either, [name]." Mikey says.

"Then...why did you pull away?" She asks nervously looking down at her feet.

"Maybe because we're not together? Also, the fact that you're drunk?" He replies with a soft voice.

"R-right...also, I'm not drunk. I just got a bit tipsy and wasn't thinking straight, so sorry for that..." 

[name] felt emotionally distraught, and Mikey didn't fail to notice that.

"Come on, I'll take you home." Mikey says but [name] just shakes her head.

"No, I don't want to go there right now..." She wraps her hands around herself to provide some sort of warmth.

"Then where do you wanna go?" Mikey asks; taking off his jacket and wrapping it around her figure. 

Such gestures, it all felt so natural.

"You place...?" [name] asks hesitantly. Mikey sighs in disapproval.

"[name]..." Although he couldn't imagine leaving her so he agreed silently.

He took her to the Sano Residence on his CB250T. She was impressed to see how well he managed to maintain the bike even after so many years.

"I see you still live here." [name] smiles softly.

"This place has too many memories, I couldn't leave." Mikey smiles back.

"Is Grandpa in? I figure he's sleeping right now?" [name] asks.

"[name], he passed away years ago..." Mikey replies, his voice wavering. She looked at him in shock as this was the first she ever heard of it.

"What? When?!"

"A year after you left..."

"So, you've been living here all by yourself...?" She questions with a small frown.

"Pretty much." He replies and starts to guide her into the house.

It wasn't fair. He had been through so much, he had lost so many people.

His Mother, Father, Shinichiro, Baji, Draken, Emma, Izana, and His Grandfather.

And [name] left him as well...

"Why the long face?" Mikey brings his index fingers to the side of her lips and slightly pulls them up into a smile.

[name] giggles like every other time he did this gesture when they were young.

"Nothing..."

"Come on, tell me." he insists.

"I just- I'm not saying this is an insensitive way but, I feel like this house holds so many sad memories. I couldn't imagine being strong enough to put up with everything...does that make sense?" [name] rambles on.

"It's true, this place has seen such sad moments but at the end of the day, this house is a part of me. I couldn't imagine leaving this place. Hopefully, I'll find someone to make new memories here with..." Mikey trails off.

"O-oh...do you have someone in mind already?" [name] tries to keep her voice strong but a stutter manages to slip in.

"Honestly, I always thought of it being you..." he says with a sad smile. 

"Do you still love me, Manjiro?" She brings up the courage to ask the question.

"Yeah...I do." 

"Then why did you pull away?!" 

"Because you don't love me back, [name]! You know what?! I am so sick of this! Even when we were broken up 10 years ago, every time you found yourself frustrated with Senju, you came to me. Ever since then you always kept me as your second option, and I hate that!" Mikey snaps at her.

[name] goes to defend herself but gets interrupted.

"Don't think I'm stupid [name]! I know exactly why you were drunk and crying just now, it's because you found out about Senju and Yuzuha didn't you? I was just trying to be a decent person and comfort you but then you went and kissed me, trying to distract yourself like you always do!

You did that before you left too! And I was so blinded by what I felt for you that I agreed with everything you did, not even considering the fact you were just using me as a goddamn stress reliever! Can't you see that what you did hurt me as well!" 

Mikey's eyes filled with regret, he hadn't meant to snap at her but he had a limit as well.

"Manjiro I- I'm sorry that I made you feel that way...I didn't realize it I swear! At that time, running away always seemed to be the best option, but I never realized how many people I ended up hurting in the process..." [name] trailed off, her eyes welled up tears that she instantly blinked away. 

After all, she had no right to cry.

"It's alright...I'm also at fault for leaving you like that." Mikey reasons.

"But you did that to protect me, to protect everyone. It's not the same. Fuck, I am the worst, aren't I?" [name] covers her face, tears burning her eyes.

"To be honest, yeah." Mikey's lips form a thin line. [name] scoffs at his reply but agrees cause it's the truth.

"But that's the past. Now that you're back, you can start over." [name] uncovers her face and gives Mikey a grateful smile. She appreciated his attempt to reassure her.

"Do you still sleep in your garage room?" 

"No, I shifted to aneki's room, although it's still there. Here, the guest room is right here, you can stay here for the night." Mikey leads to the second-last room.

"Thanks..." 

"No problem, you can take a shower if you'd like, although I don't think you need one. You smell quite nice." Mikey says before his lips seal shut. 

[name] stares at him blankly trying to process what he said.

"Fuck, that was weird. I'm sorry, I just didn't think I'll ever see you again so my mind isn't working properly..." he explains trying to subdue his embarrassment. [name] stifles her giggles.

"It's alright, Manjiro. Good night." She smiles softly.

"Yeah, night. I'm just in the next room so shout if you need help." 

[name] just nods and closes the door behind her.

It was around 2 AM when [name] found herself awake on the bed. Her mind was plagued by the thoughts of Senju.

Despite what her selfish heart asked for she knew Senju was just a star that she could never reach. A love that will never be hers.

She is distracted by the sound of glass clinking coming from elsewhere, so she gets out of bed and ventures out of the room. 

Letting the sound of running water be her guide she traverses through the house and comes face to face with Mikey who had just finished rinsing a glass.

"Sorry, did that wake you?" Mikey gives her an apologetic look under the moonlight that seeps through the windows.

"Ah no, I was awake." Was all she said.

"Thirsty?"

"No...Manjiro?" [name] calls out to him.

"Hm?" 

"Was it real for you...?" [name]'s voice comes out weak but her gaze does not falter.

"I don't understand." Mikey replies, confused by her question.

"Everything that happens between us. Was it real for you as it was for me?" [name] asks with a sad gaze, slowly coaxing him to answer.

"I think I made my feelings clear every single time, [name]." Mikey sighs, but then flinches at the sight in front of him.

[name]'s cheeks slowly got covered in tears as she finally succumbed to the events of today. Unable to stop herself she strides closer to Mikey and hugs him, words of gratitude falling from her lips.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for loving me back then. For loving me now. Thank you."

Mikey holds her close while responding to her words with comforting pats on the back. Minutes go by and they remain the same. The flow of her tears were far from slowing down and so were her words of gratitude.

She very slowly pulls her head away from the side of his neck and moves her face close to his.

"Thank you." As the gratitude is whispered into the night, [name] connects her lips to her first love's.

This time Mikey does not withdraw, and only pushes closer, indulging in her taste.

Slowly, they guide their bodies to Mikey's room. Once the back of [name]'s legs hit the bed, she gently falls back before letting her back rest on the bed.

Her legs were spread apart for Mikey to move with ease as his lips continued their ministrations on her collarbone. 

Pulling back to start undressing her, he halts to admire the love of his life.

Her lips were wet, small trails of moisture on her cheeks and neck glistened under the moonlight, the sight itself made him weak.

His hands work to get rid of her shorts so she's bare from the waist down spare for her underwear.

He doesn't remove the white dress shirt she adorned, instead, he unbuttons the first few buttons just enough to reveal the simple black bra that held her weight.

His right hand smoothly slid her bra up enough to expose her chest and the way he did so made it seem as though her breasts were trapped.

[name] lets a weak whimper escape her lips as Mikey's tongue slithered on the valley between her breasts. 

His thumbs teased her nipples as his mouth trailed her collarbone. Slowly moving his mouth to one of her breasts he wrapped his lips around her nipple, using his tongue to add to the pleasure.

His tongue kept rolling around her nipple, saliva leaked from his mouth to the sides of her breast leaving prominent trails. 

He couldn't get enough, feeling how her nipple slowly but surely turned hard. He continues to do the same to her other breast before placing his hands around her waist to flip her over.

[name] balanced herself on her hands and knees, letting out faux moans as Mikey's thumb rubbed her clit through the fabric.

Slowly pulling her underwear down yet not completely off, his fingers brush through her folds smoothly.

Mikey stares at her cunt with a blank stare. Somehow he wasn't surprised at the the lack of arousal. 

His eyes grew pained yet a sad smile took over his lips.

He had yet again fallen prey to [name]'s false words.

Gathering some saliva on his tongue he slides it over her clit and her folds finally plunging into her waiting hole.

[name] lets out a loud hoarse moan, not trying to muffle her sounds like she usually does. 

"Ahhh- There!" 

[name] occasionally lets out words of affirmation as Mikey's tongue fucks her now-sopping cunt. 

His teeth would sometimes nip at her clit painfully as a form of revenge yet [name] only found pleasure in it.

[name] continuously lets out moans unable to stop her approaching orgasm.

She couldn't deny that this was the best tongue to have touched her. The title would change every now and then while she was a student at uni.

Her best experience was during a foursome with fellow female students.

Her cunt clenches around Mikey's tongue at the thought, mind becoming hazy as she feels her clit throb.

She remembers how amazing it was. She was in the same position as she is now but her mouth was on an older's classmate's cunt, licking away at her folds.

She herself was getting her pussy kitten licked by two other classmates. One had her tongue constantly sucking on her clit to the point it was red and puffy. 

The other would use her tongue to assault her insides, switching between her fingers as her tongue would kitten-lick her asshole despite [name]'s protests or she would engage in a sloppy kiss with the other girl, their tongues still coated in [name]'s arousal.

That was the last time she had a shaking orgasm, that was until tonight.

[name] had unconsciously started to push against Mikey's tongue, his wet muscle was long enough to somehow brush against her g-spot. His nose rested dangerously close to her other entrance, and she would moan every time it lightly touched her.

She pushes back harder as she slowly feels her orgasm fade, so she thinks of the only thing that could release all the tension.

[name] plants her face against the mattress and moans into it as she thinks of Senju in every position imaginable.

She did the same in all her years at uni as she would fuck anyone who remotely resembled Senju or sometimes Mikey.

She thought of how Senju's tongue would feel on her cunt. She imagined her cunt against hers, hands tied as [name] would ride her face.

Tears prick her eyes as the thoughts overwhelm her.

"SE—AGH AHH! THERE! PLEASE! PLEA- AHH! MIKEY!" 

[name] squirts for the first time in 4 months. Her arousal coated her thighs, tainting the bedsheet below her.

Trying to ride out her high, she grinds her soaked cunt across his face in hopes of more stimulation, making sure to rub her clit on his nose and completely drench his face.

Mikey lets her move as she pleases, aiding her by softly licking up all her arousal. 

As he finished, he places a small kiss on her clit before standing up to walk away.

Before he could get too far, [name] shifts to sit on her knees and stops him by holding his hand. 

"Where are you going...?" [name] asks in a slight panic. Mikey only smiled down at her.

"Get some sleep, [name]." He replies trying to free his hand from her grasp.

"What...do you- why did you stop? What about you-?"

"This is enough [name]." Mikey loses smile.

"No, it's not- I need more! More than her- Mikey, please! Please..." [name] sobs guiding Mikey's hand between her thighs, coaxing two of his fingers to slide inside her.

Once they were settled in she moved her hips to mimic riding his fingers as she once did him, trying to lure him in. Her back was arched, pushing out her chest so they would move along with her hips. Her head tilted back to expose her neck, making it look so kissable.

Mikey was slightly caught off guard by her actions, never having seen her so desperate and submissive. He clenches his teeth in anger but keeps his mouth shut, only replying by driving his fingers deeper.

"Ahh! Just like that!" 

[name]'s moans were music to his ears yet it made them bleed, knowing nothing was directed towards him.

"You're so fucking selfish." 

Those were Mikey's last words before he rips his hand away from [name], completely distributing her orgasm.

"Manjiro what are you-?!" [name] exclaims but gets interrupted by the shutting of the door.

As a few minutes go by she hears rustling around the house she can see from the window how Mikey leaves the house looking fresh as if she hadn't just drenched his face.

He soon leaves on his bike, driving into the lonely night.

Tears now stained her face. 

How could he just leave her? Who should she go to next? How else could she stop the throbbing between her legs that had yet to subside?

[name] falls back on her back, her head on the pillows. 

She spreads her legs and immediately plunges two of her fingers into her weeping cunt. As she did so she was brought some relief, but her clit still pulsated against her palm. 

She sits up slightly, her right hand still in her cunt and she leans against the head of the bed using her left hand to support herself. 

Her left hand then moved to her breasts which were still trapped between her bra and her shirt. Her fingers stimulate her nipple as she continued to finger fuck herself, her mind filled with images of an engaged woman. 

She imagined fucking Senju in her favorite position. 

When she was at uni and became intimate with anyone who was similarly submissive to Senju she would fuck them in this position, hoping to do the same to her love one day.

Her room had a thin and long mirror on the side of her bed and there was enough distance between them to fit two people.

So as she would get eaten out by her partner for the night, she would make sure the girl would have her bare cunt pressed against the mirror.

She wouldn't stop the girl's actions until she was sure that the part of the mirror and everything below was covered in her arousal. 

When it was, she would shift the both of them so that [name] was sitting on her knees and the girl was lying flat on the floor, her legs over [name]'s shoulder would rest on her bed and the girl would have a complete view of her arousal and her dripping cunt as it got fucked by [name].

[name] would then tease the girl with her tongue all night and she forced her to lick up her own arousal on the mirror.

The girls who had experienced this would cry and cry, the filthy actions would embarrass them but they would only grow closer to their release.

Sadly for them, even during these intimate moments, [name]'s mind would only replace them with a certain pink-haired girl.

[name] felt herself growing close to her orgasm when thinking of Senju in the same position.

But suddenly her mind replaces herself with the image and Yuzuha and it breaks [name]. Shaking her head in defiance she continues her actions nonetheless.

Her fingers started to numb and her arm started to hurt, but she didn't stop until she had released all over her fingers.

Letting her breathing slow down she brings up her hand close to her face to look at her arousal.

After she cooled down she let her forearm rest over her eyes, letting her tears flow.

Mikey hadn't felt such disappointed in years. As ashamed as he was to admit it, he was disappointed in [name] more so than he was in himself. 

He had noticed how she had called him 'Mikey' as opposed to 'Manjiro' like she usually does.

It's something that she had started doing somewhere in between his Kantou Manji days. It had started when Senju had officially entered the picture.

Without even realizing it, he had played right into her hands. She would lure him with her sweet 'Manjiro's and her lips would only spill 'Mikey's as she would fuck him.

It was already too late when he came to the realization.

Everything was different when she loved him, and only him. It was sweet. And a part of him believes it all went to shit when he left, yet he atoned for his actions. 

He was truly happy when [name] found love but when years later he heard of Senju and Yuzuha a part of him felt guilty, even though he hadn't done anything wrong.

Everyone else who was aware of [name] and Senju was also a bit distraught, but they were happy for Senju and Yuzuha nonetheless.

Mikey himself was happy for Senju for finding her happiness and hoped that [name] would be too but, by last night's events it was pretty clear how she had taken the news.

Because if she was happy, she wouldn't have kissed him. It had become second nature for her, if Senju does something wrong, go to Mikey. It had been drilled into her bones. 

Mikey walks into his house at around 9 AM. He looked to see if [name] was still here and sure enough, her shoes were right there.

He goes to check his room and finds [name] fast asleep on his bed. Her back was on the mattress, her head leaned up due to it resting on multiple pillows. Her hands were on each side of her head, and her legs were slightly pressed together and folded up.  

When he saw her face, he noticed how her lips were parted with small gasps escaping them, her face contorting as if there was some sort of tension building.

"Senju...Senju...~" 

Hearing this Mikey's eyes unconsciously drift to [name]'s slightly exposed cunt, there was a prominent trail of her arousal leaking from her hole.

Against his better judgment, he finds himself yet again at the mercy of [name], hands on her knees to spread them apart.

He uses his finger to see how wet she is and is utterly surprised to see her completely soaked as he spreads her folds. 

[name] lets out a pitiful whimper at his action.

Without another second being wasted, he sticks out his tongue and licks up from her asshole to her hole, gathering all of her arousal and pushing it back inside her.

[name] moans but doesn't wake, her lips forming the phonetics of Senju's name.

Removing his tongue from inside her, Mikey just licks her all over her cunt, trying to build her orgasm.

[name]'s eyes open but her vision is blurry, she just feels extremely wet all over and can only make out how her thighs felt to be trembling.

When she leans up and looks down to see Mikey eating her out, her head falls back and her cunt pushes forward on his tongue. Noticing her to be awake now Mikey goes back to driving his tongue inside her.

The loud squelching sounds slowly brought her out of her sleepy state, her hips starting to push against him making a few squirts spurt out of her cunt and onto Mikey's tongue.

"Ah~ Ah~ Mikey...what are you-?"

"Shhhhh..."

Feeling him speak against her clit just brings her orgasm closer. This all felt like a fever dream to her. 

Mikey pulls away from making her whine but her mouth is agape when Mikey moves to her side and up to suck on her nipple, his fingers stimulating her soaking folds.

His tongue moved around her nipple along with his fingers and these actions were too blinding for her, falling into complete submission for the first time.

Two of his fingers suddenly plunge into her just as he softly bites her nipple, her head is thrown back as she moans out.

"Ahh! Senju!"

[name]'s eyes widened in horror, instantly looking at Mikey's face but his eyes remained closed, but she noticed how thin tears spilled from the corners of his eyes and fell onto her body, getting camouflaged within her sweat.

His mouth was still sucking on her mounds and the movement of his fingers hadn't faltered for a second. 

In fact, his thrusting had sped up, hitting her g-spot repeatedly, she was sure her cunt would be puffed up due to the sheer force of his fingers. 

"Mikey I—" 

"Just finish, [name]." 

And she does.

Her release coats his hand up to his wrists as his fingers reach knuckles deep in her cunt to coax out every drop.

This continued for a few minutes till their breathing was no longer erratic. 

Mikey shifts once again to place himself between her legs to lick up all of her arousal, [name] remains silent ignoring how her cunt clenches around nothing as Mikey smoothes his tongue all over her folds licking her clean.

Once he is done, he places a kiss on her clit like he always does before getting out of the bed.

"Manjiro-"

"Take a bath. I have some clothes for you, freshen up." Mikey interrupts her before walking away from her for the second time.

"Where did you get my clothes from? Did you visit Waka-nii when you left?" [name] questions as she stands at the door wearing her shoes.

"Yes, I didn't think you had informed them so I knew they would be worried. I told them I found you drunk so you're sleeping at my house."

—————————

09:34 AM

"She's at your house?" Wakasa asks in a worried tone.

"Yes, I found her drunk and felt uncomfortable leaving her alone. I tried to bring her here but she kept fighting so I just brought her back to my house." 

"Drunk?...*sigh* I see, thanks for informing me. You said you needed some clothes? Wait I'll get some for you." Wakasa replies massaging his head.

He returns a few minutes later, a paper bag in hand.

"I'm sorry about [name], Mikey. I wasn't too worried knowing she wouldn't do anything reckless, but just before you came here Takeomi called me and said that Senju and Yuzuha had gotten engaged last night." 

Wakasa sighs out as Mikey's eyes widen in surprise as he thinks back to a few hours ago.

"This is enough [name]." Mikey loses smile.

"No, it's not- I need more! More than her- Mikey please! Please..." [name] sobs guiding Mikey's hand between her thighs, coaxing two of his fingers to slide inside her.

Once they were settled in she moved her hips to mimic riding his fingers as she once did him, trying to lure him in. Her back was arched, pushing out her chest so they would move along with her hips. Her head tilted back to expose her neck, making it look so kissable.

Mikey was slightly caught off guard by her actions, never having seen her so desperate and submissive. He clenches his teeth in anger but keeps his mouth shut, only replying by driving his fingers deeper.

He thinks back to how desperate and broken her mind seemed to work, and suddenly everything made sense.

He realized she had probably met them right after the proposal. He felt pity for [name] yet it was still not an excuse for her behavior.

"She didn't do anything drastic right?" Wakasa asks Mikey to make sure [name] wasn't too disruptive.

"Don't worry Wakasa-san, she fell asleep as soon as she hit the bed." Mikey replies with an uncertain smile.

"I see...Please ask her to come home soon. Thanks for doing this Mikey." Wakasa pats him on the shoulder walking back into his house.

—————————

"You told him I was drunk?" [name] asked shocked by the revelation. Mikey gives her a nod.

"He's going to murder me... You- ...You didn't say anything else right?"

[name] averts her gaze as she questions him.

"No, I just said you fell asleep as soon as you got to the bed." He explains.

"But..." He continues making [name] look at him in a slight panic.

"I don't take your brother for an idiot." 

That was all he said.

[name] nods at him before finally saying everything she had decided to say while taking a shower.

"Manjiro, I'm sorry. I truly am. I was sorry all those years ago, I was sorry last night, and I will continue to remain sorry for what I have done. I have no excuse for—"

"[name] you don't need to do this-" Mikey's words interrupt her but it only makes [name] lash out.

"No! I have to. You deserve an apology, okay?!" His lips seal shut and [name] takes it as a sign to continue.

"I was really sad when I found out that Senju and Yuzuha had gotten engaged. Over the years Senju had started growing distant towards me to the point that we had completely stopped talking. 

A part of me knew that she slowly realized that it wasn't worth loving someone like me, she didn't need to stay with someone who tormented her at every turn. 

I was so depressed by the silent rejection that I would sleep with anyone who slightly resembled her in looks, personality, submission, or anything that reminded me of her. I would project her onto my partners and I unconsciously did the same to you.

I would try to stop myself by telling myself that Senju and I just got too busy, friends drift apart but when they meet it's left they never left. I would tell myself that it would be the same with us. That Senju would love me again when she saw me, yet it didn't go as planned.

Manjiro, It wasn't a lie when I said I loved you. I love you! I really really love you! But when Senju came into the picture I started loving her even though I never forgot you. I...

Manjiro, I'll be better! I'll go to therapy, anything! Anything to better myself. Just give me a chance... I'll be better so you won't ever regret having loved me. I'll make myself better so you don't have to be ashamed of me. Just give me a chance..." 

[name]'s heart felt light as soon as all the words spilled out of her, but immediately a brick was stacked on her heart once again and she dreaded his response.

She told herself that no matter his response, no matter what he said she would accept. 

"Okay."

[name] looks at him in disbelief. Did he just agree?

"Okay?" 

"Okay. I'll give you a chance. But only when you can accept the true relationship between Senju and Yuzuha. Can you do that?" Mikey asks her.

[name] nods trying to compose herself.

"Yes, I can do that!" [name] assures.

"Are you sure, [name]? Are you ready to accept the fact that Senju no longer loves you? Are you ready to accept the fact that as we speak Senju is probably getting filled and fucked by someone who will never be you?" 

By the end of the sentence, Mikey had pulled [name] close to him by her shoulders, making sure that her eyes stared back at his. 

He knew his words were brutally honest, the last part might have been unnecessary but he could no longer ignore just how hurt he was by her.

[name]'s heart ached at his words but she kept staring back, not moving her gaze for even a second.

"Yes. For you, I will accept it." Was [name]'s response. Hearing this Mikey lets go of [name] and steps back. A few seconds go by as neither of them says anything, yet they don't break their stare.

"Very well. I will wait for you." Mikey finally lets out a smile, his heart grows heavy when [name] smiles back and bows as a thank you.

He watches as she turns around and leaves the house, closing the door behind her.

He already knew how fate works, and what it will do to him since god was never on his side.

He always wondered if he was being watched by the devil, and he wondered if he would keep looking upon him till he had taken everyone from his life.

[name] too wondered if she had a devil in her.

Being loved by [name] was truly a beautiful thing. But it would become dangerous if it isn't reciprocated. She would never directly hurt anyone, but everyone around her would end up in the crossfire and would get used by her to ease her.

Then she would think of ways revenge, payback in ways that would have her love come crawling back.

Even now, as she makes her way home the devil persuades her to forget about Mikey. He tells [name] to go find Senju and make her forget all about her fiance.

He coaxes [name] to find her and fuck her into oblivion. Make sure that [name] will always be the best tongue to fuck her, the best fingers to stuff her full, the best pussy she'll ever taste, the best sex she'll ever experience. The most loved she'll ever feel.

This was tempting for [name], but for now, she'll ignore the devil and only listen to Mikey. She will make him take the place of an angel or rather...

Make him a devil to kill her own.

[mikuni14]

Century of Love - Ep 7

Wow, what an episode, WOW! I'll be honest, I was actually pretty worried about this episode for one reason and one reason only: that San would be confused, lost, and worst of all: torn between Vee and New Wat. You have no idea how relieved I am that San was 100% with Vee the whole time. Even the scene of him comforting Wat at the beginning, I took it as his natural protective and comforting instincts kicking in, rather than him "connecting" with New Wat.

San was of course confused and worried about this whole mess, which is absolutely understandable, but not enough to overshadow his feelings - he was sure of them. That's the best thing ever 💯

Why I love this episode:

I cried for about 80% of the time

Neither San nor Vee did anything stupid, weird, unpleasant that would affect how much I like them (and I was really afraid of it ngl)

San didn't give in to pressure from Vee, family, Wat, the stone or FATE. I really liked the scene at the beginning when Vee runs away, begs him to let him go, pulls away, and San holds him tight, doesn't let go, doesn't give up. Likewise, after Vee's confession, he still goes to him, he's still open to Vee and if it weren't for his weakness and fainting, he would definitely go after him again

I really liked how he treats Juu, how he apologized to her for causing her problems and stress

I like that San quickly gets his shit together, makes decisions quickly without wallowing in self-pity, constant pondering, questioning and indecisiveness

I like the portrayal of Vee's absolute despair and frenzy related to his grandmother's condition. That's actually rare. Also, how he makes bad decisions under the influence of that despair. I like that he repeats the actions of the equally desperate, scared and mourning San from 100 years ago

I like the classic juxtaposition from fairy tales: true love is sincere, noble, ready to make sacrifices "I'd rather leave/die, as long as my beloved lives", juxtaposed with fake love that slanders, undermines trust, ingratiates itself, fights dirty. It's also interesting that San paid so much attention to Wat's nobility and kindness and how he judged Vee when he met him, and yet his heart chooses a noble person again - Vee, even if his eyes see someone with Wat's face. Classic 🤩

of course I love that San does what I've been saying from the beginning: he chooses Vee as Vee and even said it himself! San chose Vee even when put in front of someone who looks like Wat and has her memories. San makes a free choice, he falls in love with a specific person. Once it was Wat, now it's Vee.

I also love the protectiveness shown in this episode: San is protective of Vee and his family, Vee is protective of San and his grandmother, San's family is protective of him and Vee (that's why his "betrayal" hurt them so much), Ton and Trai are protective of Vee…

The whole truth about San's feelings was shown in his reaction when the stone lit up for Vee, and when it lit up for New/Fake Wat. And how he reacts physically to Vee and Wat, sometimes even in the same scene (like pushing her away and being gentle with Vee). You can't fake that. Also, after seeing Wat after 100 years of waiting, the first thing San did was go to Vee and hug him 🥺 He kept asking him to stay, he held him in his sleep, as if he was afraid he would leave..

I just... I love them so much. For all the emotions they give me, for how wonderful and human they are. For how much they love each other and how much they are willing to do for each other.

"I don't want San to die as well. Even though I won't be with him. But I will see him live his life. Be happy with the person he loves. This is enough?" "So a person like me would love him? A bad person like me?" 💔 "I LOVE VEE FOR VEE"

[1-danid]

(pt2) dating teen vi

dating arc one vi part two, you have both aged up to arc two!

part 1 here! Go read it love!

You worked at the bar almost for the most part of your job.

You get a lot of gossip and news whilst bartending, it’s shocking what people will tell a pretty bartender when they're drunk.

You're much better of a bartender than Thieram, bless him. And he sees you as a really good friend because Jinx doesn’t scare him as much when you're around.

Not you literally being everyone’s favourite.

Also you 100% get free drinks when you're at the bar, like Silco loves you enough to let you get that free booze.

You're Silco's inside man or woman in this case I guess.

If you're not busy as a bartender you’d 100% be Sevika’s go to dealer for any game she plays.

You don’t even have a choice she's dragging you with her and shoving a deck of cards in your hands.

If she wins shell get you something the next time she's out, if she loses its your fault (she's just a real sore loser and wants you to cheat in her favour)

You're 100% a fair dealer, but when Sevika wins almost every round people get angry at you for cheating. Sevika would beat them up for messing with you.

You're like a daughter to her, and even though she doesn’t show it all the time. SHe cares about you a lot more than Jinx. When you're not working the bar, you're definitely patching up Jinx.

Speaking of Jinx always comes to you for comfort and reassurance as you're the only family she has left, even though Powder died.

You've stuck with her and she appreciates it.

Jinx has improved so much and you're proud of her, and believe it or not you feel like you found another family with her and Silco.

Sometimes you'll cook dinners and bake treats for them when you're off, getting Markcus to buy you the supplies you need as you play with his daughter in Piltover.

He won't admit it but he's more petrified of you than Silco and Jinx combined.

You don't like to go on glimmer mission, they remind you of your old life but on the occasion that Jinx can convince you to go.

You're still a badass, even though you stick to defensive attacks (you could never hurt Ekko.) You're still a force to be reckoned with.

Sevika is much nicer to you than she is to Jinx, but that is likely because of your maturity and you never climbed on her back when she had to babysit you.

When Vi meets Caitlyn in prison, she recognises your initials on one of "Powder's" drawings.

Poor girl has only thought of you and her sister, in all her time in Stillwater she's realised that she loves you and she wanted to find you and tell you that.

So when Caitlyn gives her an opportunity to leave she takes it, if only to know that you and Powder are alive.

We all know Vi is a flirt and she does flirt with Caitlyn, the cupcake scene is a canon event. So when one of your girlfriends sees Vi she waits to see who this pretty girl is with her.

You get news of Vi before Jinx and Silco and leave on your own to clear your head, as your ex lover is proclaimed to be alive.

You're overcome with emotions like jealousy, heartbreak, fear and most of all anger (covers your sadness).

How could she be okay without you, you could barely go a day without thinking of her and the good times how could she move on? Why would she move on and forget about you?

However Jinx took you out of your hole of self pity and wallowing, and asks you to come find Vi with her. It's at that moment you remember the torch and agree, travelling to the top of Zaun to light the torch.

Throughout this Vi had fought Sevika, who was taunting her about how you and Jinx had moved on from her, (we don't talk about your last fling, it was embarrassing.) As Vi is about to be beaten, Caitlyn saves her and then continues to flirt, slowly but surely more and more people hear about Vi's reappearance.

However when you and Jinx light the torch you have hope. Vi was never one to break a promise and if it was to Powder at least.

You stood there anxious as you watches all the fuel dry up and burn from the flare torch.

You just needed to know if she was alive or dead, to know if she cared about you and her own sister.

You needed to know if she had replaced you.

A/N

And that’s where I'm ending this part! I have no idea if i'll make another part but that one anon gave me motivation for this. So here you guys go. Sorry if it's all over the place, I need to rewatch Arcane. It's a bit rusty in my head. I swear I'm working on my atsv requests. I just had this in the works for longer. Hope you enjoyed be sure to leave comments and reblog it!

Next fic publishing will be after i finish updating my wattpad book. No you will not get a link to my wattpad account.

[youdontjustgiveup]

August: Chapter 3

( ao3 | ff )

Previous Chapters: [link]

Summary: Blair's emotional confrontation with Chuck exposes their mutual vulnerabilities, strengthening their bond as they navigate their inner struggles. Upon returning to the party, they encounter Nate, who seeks forgiveness in his drunken state. A shared moment is later interrupted by Serena's tears.

Pairing: Chuck x Blair

Word Count: 3.2k

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: None

----------------------------

The moonlight gently bathed the figure beside her, revealing the familiar contours of the face that had occupied her thoughts for longer than she cared to admit. Chuck stood there, his trademark suave demeanor masking something she couldn’t quite decipher. His eyes, usually shrouded in mystery, held an intriguing spark. The wind ruffled his hair, giving him an almost unreal appearance, as if he embodied the essence of the night itself. 

Blair tensed. It was infuriatingly absurd how he always seemed to just sense when she needed him the most. It was terrifying, the way he could read her mind so effortlessly, remembering every detail while the person who was supposed to so often forgot. It was as if he held a key to the depths of her being, a fact that simultaneously drew her closer and pushed her away. 

She had yearned for him to answer her call so intensely that now, with him there, the weight of it began to overwhelm her. His presence, a consistent source of comfort, now seemed like too much, too soon. The air grew stifling, suffocating her. Once again, her desires battled with the stark reality she faced. 

Yet, her reluctance to let him go propelled her into action. True to her nature, she resorted to what she knew best.

“Came to gloat?” 

“What would I possibly gloat about, Blair?”

Images of Georgina flashed before her, overwhelming in their own right. Her fingers clenched at the fabric of her dress as everything spiraled out of control.

“Surely you and your friend already had a few laughs about what an idiot I am.” 

Chuck joined her, leaning in to meet her gaze. “Drop the attitude.”

“What’s the matter? Weren’t you having an absolutely delightful time in each other’s company?” she pushed, her frustration increasing.

Chuck’s lips tightened, a hint of annoyance flashing across his features. “Well, it’s not every day that I’m handed such prime material for my entertainment.”

“I’m glad my life’s a source of amusement for you.”

“Perhaps if you stopped wallowing in self-pity and actually did something, you wouldn’t be in this mess.”

Blair’s shoulders slumped ever so slightly, a sharp pang slicing through her chest. There was no one else to blame but herself. It was she who persistently pushed against an unyielding barrier that mocked her efforts. Time and time again.

“Oh, like you? With your oh-so-predictable cycle of one-night stands and shallow escapades?” her words grew sharper, “Letting Georgina Sparks parade you around like you are her fucking trophy?” 

“That’s rich,” Chuck paused, his tone cutting. Then, he straightened himself. “Is it better to pine after your childhood sweetheart who couldn’t care less? How does it feel to try and try and never quite become Serena van der Woodsen?”

Blair’s breath caught. “I can't believe you actually said that.” 

“At least I don't need to pretend I have it all together.”

“Just leave me alone.” 

“You know I can’t do that.” 

“Why did you show up here?”

In an effort to ease the tension between them, Chuck offered, “Never one to miss an opportunity to help a lady in distress.” 

“It appears we have different interpretations of the word help.” 

“You know why I’m here. What this place signifies.” Chuck’s hand extended toward hers, but Blair’s swift gesture brushed it aside.

“Ah. Did daddy call you and say something that upset you?” She was playing with fire, but she couldn’t care less. They were engaged in their own game, one in which they excelled. If Blair was hurting, she intended for Chuck to feel the sting too. “Oh, no, no. Don’t tell me our dearest Georgie has broken your heart.” 

“Blair.”

“You and I both know you don’t have one,” her words dripped with venom, the final blow, an unfair but instinctual response. She lashed out and he absorbed it as he always did, like a sponge.

“True.” Chuck’s gaze lowered, a mirthless smile gracing his lips.

Triumph. So, why didn’t it feel like one? The ocean hushed its crashing waves, as if in response. Blair restrained her impulse to reach for the bottle; her hand suspended mid-air.

Inflicting pain had become second nature, a defense mechanism–much like it had for him. Sometimes the recipients were one another, but more often than not, they aimed at those beyond their complex orbit. It was always about securing a victory. By exposing others’ weaknesses, they diverted from their own imperfections. Yet, unveiling Chuck’s felt akin to staring into a mirror. 

“Forever destined for the role of second best, always falling short. That’s our story,” Blair’s voice rose above the ocean. 

“You believe I’m unaware of that?” 

“We can’t break free, Chuck.”

“We’ve never truly tried.”

“Because we don’t want to.” 

The truth in her words hit her chest like a truck. When was enough truly enough? Could she be able to break free? She wasn’t certain she wanted to. This was undoubtedly another stone strewn in her path. One that had started to rest heavily upon her heart. Yet, a stone nonetheless. Her stomach churned, and nerves prickled in her hands and feet. Her path had been meticulously designed for her, and she didn’t know how to exist as anyone other than the pristine, perfect Blair Waldorf. Nate Archibald’s girlfriend Blair Waldorf. The queen of the Upper East Side. She was not sure that Blair Waldorf could be anyone else. 

The idea of leaping into the unknown was daunting.

Chuck’s hand smoothly reached for the bottle, his arm gliding over her middle, and Blair furrowed her brow. 

“You don’t drink this.”

“If it’s fit for drinking, consider me on board.” Chuck took a sip and grimaced. “It’s hideous. How can you stomach this bubbly shit all the time?”

Blair chuckled, a genuine sound punctuating the air for the first time that night. His reaction was utterly priceless, and she couldn’t help herself. 

“See, I told you.” 

“I might need to initiate you into the art of drinking.”

“Slumping on the pavement every four out of five days isn’t exactly charming, you know?” Blair’s lips curved wryly. “I have a certain image to uphold.”

“At least when I pass out, it’s usually because of something worth it. Not due to a single sip of…” Chuck gestured dismissively at the bottle in his hand. “This.”

“Shut up,” her words carried on a backdrop of laughter.

Chuck repositioned the champagne bottle to his side, just beyond her reach.

“Your dress is all wrinkled. I don’t know if your reputation could survive that either.” 

She playfully smacked his arm. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” 

A vibrant display of colors and a cacophony of sounds illuminated the distant sky. The sibilant tail of a firework rocket burst forth, creating a breathtaking fusion of reds and blues. Chuck shifted slightly, and soon found himself pressed against her side, shoulder to shoulder. His gaze was fixed with intensity on the dazzling fireworks. Just before the next explosion lit up the sky, she nestled herself even closer to him.

In this moment, right here, with him by her side, she wanted to forget that Nate Archibald even existed.

“That was part of Nate’s surprise,” Chuck pointed out. 

“I don’t care.”

“Did he actually show it to you?” 

“He did.”

“And?”

“Ask him.”

“I’m asking you.”

“I really don’t want to talk about it,” Blair attempted again, her plea softer this time, “Please, just drop it.” 

“Did you like it?” 

“Why do you care so much?”

“Tell me, did you?”

“I did.”

“Good.” He grinned, that classic smirk of his stretching across his face. 

“You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Maybe just a bit, Waldorf. But not for the reasons you think.” He was unable to look into her eyes. “We really should leave. Nate must be worried.”

“I don’t care,” she repeated, “Just a little longer.”

Blair leaned her head on his shoulder, preventing any possible movement on his part. In the midst of it all, time seemed to suspend, enveloping them in its quietness. The outside world faded into insignificance behind them. 

“You are a really good friend. Do you know that?” Blair mused. 

“Is it now your turn to smear my reputation?” Chuck deflected the compliment, his usual composure faltering slightly.

“Oh, come off it. It’s not like your reputation needs my touch to reach new lows. You’ve managed just fine on your own,” Blair countered with a playful smirk.

“I adore your unwavering commitment to make a guy feel accomplished. But let’s not forget, it takes a certain level of skill to maintain such lows. One I’ve refined with extreme dedication.”

“You can fool the whole world, Bass. But not me, never me.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Chuck replied, a hint of sentimentality in his eyes.

The gentle caress of the summer shifted abruptly, transforming into a gust of wind that carried both comfort to her heavy mind and a brisk chill. Blair’s involuntary shiver prompted Chuck from his spot beside her, breaking the tender contact they shared. His warmth lingered on her skin.

“Come on. Let’s go back.” Chuck extended his hand to help her up. 

With her heels gathered in one hand and the champagne bottle left to face its uncertain fate, she reached out to him, grasping his hand. As their fingers entwined, the rush of warmth flooded back once more, a stark contrast to the cooling breeze that now surrounded them. Chuck’s pull, stronger than anticipated, caused her to lose her balance, making her heart race. In a reflexive move, his arm slid around her waist, drawing her closer until their bodies were pressed together. His gaze, intense and unyielding, stole the words from her lips, leaving her momentarily breathless. 

The heels slipped from her grasp, descending into the sand beneath. Blair couldn’t move. The intimacy of the moment lingered before he reluctantly broke their connection, his gaze falling to the ground. 

In that suspended instance, the tether that bound them seemed to fade, like the receding tide. As he handed her shoes back to her, their fingers brushed in a fleeting touch that sent an electric pulse through her. A whirl of dizziness swirled in her mind, and she was absolutely certain that it wasn’t due to the three sips of champagne she’d indulged in. 

Perhaps Blair wasn’t ready to leap into the unknown, but she was willing to step forward, even if cautiously, from a shallow shoreline, making sure to shield herself as much as possible. 

The music’s intensity grew with each step, an increasing gap opening up between them as they neared the beach house. Chuck kept his gaze fixed ahead, avoiding eye contact with her. Approaching the back porch, the figure waiting there became clear—Nate. Blair exhaled a breath she hadn’t been aware of holding, silently thankful that, at the very least, Nate wasn’t following Serena like a lost puppy.

Nate, bottle in hand, looked worse than before. His clothes were disheveled, his hair an unruly mess, jutting out in all directions. He couldn’t seem to stop rubbing his eyes.

As they entered his limited line of sight, he staggered to his feet, veering to one side. His lack of control nearly sent his handsome face crashing to the floor, but Chuck moved swiftly, steadying him by the arm. Chuck knew the drill, having dealt with this situation countless times. In truth, all four of them were very well versed in handling such scenarios. When it wasn’t Chuck, it was Nate, and when it wasn’t Nate, it was Serena—sometimes even two of them at once. Blair, however, could count on one hand the number of times she’d surrendered to the allure of alcohol, relinquishing her grasp on control and consciousness. 

The music grew deafening, making it impossible to discern what Chuck was saying to Nate at Blair’s distance. 

Nate’s head swayed from side to side, and Blair moved closer to the two of them. His piercing blue eyes were glassy as he tried to make sense of his surroundings, reaching out to steady himself on Chuck’s shoulder.

“Are you okay?” Chuck turned to her. 

Blair’s brow furrowed. “Yes. Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“The bottle, Blair.” Chuck signaled toward the floor, which was now adorned with scattered crystals and spilled liquid.

“I think…” Blair hesitated, careful not to shift her bare feet from their spot. “I think I’m all right.”

“Put your heels on. Please. I’m not going to take you to the hospital for a tetanus shot,” he tried to lighten the mood. 

Carefully, she slipped on her heels, wincing as she felt the crunch of broken glass beneath her now-covered feet. 

“Blair. I’m…” Nate looked at her, his expression apologetic. 

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not.” Then, he seemed to realize something. “Wait. You… Chuck… Where were…”

“We were looking for you. We were worried,” Chuck responded quickly. Searching for Nate had been the last thing on Blair’s mind, nor checking on him. Nate’s condition stirred a twinge of guilt within her. 

“Ah…” 

The three of them stood there, unsure of how to proceed. Something had shifted that night, though Blair couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was.

“I don’t want anything to change between us,” Nate said, managing to form more than three coherent words. “I’m really sorry.” His apologies, slurred and insincere, continued, and Blair wasn’t sure she could stand one more minute of it.

Chuck’s discomfort and desire to escape emanated from every pore of his being.

Blair pinched the bridge of her nose and forced a smile before responding, “Everything is fine between us, I swear.” Lies. “Nothing is going to change,” she said slowly, as if speaking to a toddler.

“I love you,” Blair concluded, prompting an eye roll from Chuck. Nevertheless, he maintained his composure, revealing nothing of his thoughts. It was what Nate needed, what he wanted. And Blair delivered, as she always did. “Let’s get you to bed.”

----------------------------

Blair closed the door to Nate’s room behind her. With Chuck’s help, they had managed to escort Nate upstairs without drawing much attention from the other guests. Blair had reclaimed the commanding demeanor she had largely been missing throughout the night and had swiftly taken charge. There had been enough of her misery on display that night, and she had no intention of revealing more.

Chuck waited for her in the hallway, his hands casually tucked into the pockets of his linen pants.

“You have a way of handling chaos, Blair. It’s quite impressive,” Chuck tried to fill the silence, a hint of genuine admiration in his words. “Everything good in there?”

Blair’s lips curled into a sardonic smile as they walked side by side toward their respective rooms. “As good as he can be, given that he’s managed to drain eighty percent of the poison you brought. Let’s just say he’s not on the brink of death tonight,” her voice oozed with exasperation. “But tomorrow he will be.”

“Poor Nathaniel.”

Blair shot him a sharp look, her patience waning. “Yeah, poor him,” she retorted, her sarcasm now fully on display. The guilt that had initially plagued her was slowly fading away, replaced by a growing desire to forget the night entirely. It had promised so much, yet delivered so little.

“Don’t be too hard on him,” Chuck offered, his tone slightly softer.

“Don’t be too soft on him,” she shot back, her frustration palpable. “He completely ruined my night,” she added, as if throwing a temper tantrum. Chuck couldn’t help but smile in response.

When they reached Chuck’s room, Blair hesitated for a moment before deciding not to move towards her own. Chuck leaned casually against the wall, his arms crossed, showing no intention of leaving his spot either.

“You know, despite the chaos, you look absolutely stunning tonight.”

Her earlier exasperation gave way to a faint blush, and she met his gaze. “Flattery won’t get you anywhere, Bass.”

He chuckled, a low, rich sound that sent shivers down her spine. “I wasn’t trying to get anywhere, Waldorf. Just stating the obvious.”

Before she could reply, a guttural sob a few doors away interrupted them. Serena’s room. 

“Seems like the night will never end.” Blair said, her voice tinged with exhaustion. 

“It only took Humphrey three hours to make her cry this time. What a class act,” Chuck remarked.

"She needs to dump him." 

"It's easier said than done, right?" He raised an eyebrow.

Ignoring him, Blair sighed and bid her goodbyes, leaving Chuck behind to see what that mediocre inconsequential character had done to her best friend. 

To no one’s surprise, her night wasn’t the only one that had turned out miserable. Blair was going to annihilate Humphrey. Kill him and leave nothing to the wolves to feast on. Even though she selfishly wanted to take advantage of his presence, nothing was worth the damage Serena’s heart endured every time they were together. Serena inexplicably loved him, while he simply aimed to change her into a completely different person. 

Blair peeked her head through the door and found her friend lying in bed, curled up in a ball. Her sobs had grown softer, and in that moment, Blair ceased to think about Nate’s feelings for Serena or her perpetual position as the second-best. She loved Serena, and she needed her to be okay. If Serena, the usually happiest and most carefree person in all of Manhattan, had been reduced to this state, it cast a shadow of despair over everyone else’s chances. “That bad?” asked Blair, her hand tenderly resting on Serena’s back. 

“He doesn’t like me, B,” Serena hiccupped. 

Blair held her tongue; her friend didn’t need further beating, so she allowed her to continue.

“He thinks he does, but deep down, he doesn’t. I’ll never fit into his mold, no matter how hard I try,” Serena confessed, her voice heavy with sadness. “I never asked to be part of this world, but here I am, trapped in it. I used to go with the flow, wherever life took me.” She paused, her eyes reflecting a sense of weariness. “But the alcohol, the drugs, the constant betrayals… that wasn’t me. It was a futile attempt to make some noise. I’ve tried to start over, for him, but the past clings to me like a shadow, and he just resents me for it. I don’t know what else to do.”

With a deep sigh, Serena slumped her shoulders, burdened by the weight of her confession. “Why is it so difficult? Being who we are?” Serena then turned to Blair with a glimmer of hope in her eyes. “I can’t help but wonder if it’s worth it.” 

“Why do you say that?” Blair inquired.

“Because you’re here. The three of you, and you will always be my friends,” Serena admitted, her voice tinged with vulnerability. “I love you, and I love this world because you’re in it.” Serena managed a weak smile. “Plus, it does have its perks.”

Blair returned the smile, her understanding shining through. “Don’t I know it.” 

Overwhelmed by her feelings, Serena enveloped her friend in a tight, affectionate hug. Blair, taken by surprise, returned the embrace just as intensely.

Blair spoke softly, her voice filled with comfort, “Serena, there is nothing wrong with who you are. Fuck whoever thinks otherwise.”

Serena, tears still in her eyes but with a small smile, whispered, “Thank you, B. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

The two friends held onto each other, finding solace in the strength of their friendship amidst the chaos of their lives.

[nolanhollogay]

did you plan on ever telling me ?

chad finds out about vincetate 😳

+

Stab 4 was playing on Tate's laptop, lulling him to sleep. It was his comfort movie, his go to when he had a bad day. And he really needed it on a day like today.

His day had started with him peeling his dad off the bathroom floor, puke surrounding the toilet and staining his t-shirt. It took half an hour to convince him to clean himself off, that he didn't deserve to wallow in his own filth and self pity.

Then, once he'd gotten him into bed, his mom called and they ended up getting into an argument. He couldn't remember exactly what it was about. Probably her inability to be a good mom, or express basic human empathy. That was their go to, when they tried to talk about anything, really.

After that, he went to the convenience store, only for his bike to get stolen.

But that wasn't all bad. He'd managed to get it back by way of Vince seeing the guys who stole it and threatening them with his stupid switch blade.

That was a curse disguised as a blessing, however, because Vince demanded some sort of repayment for his "heroic act", meaning Tate now owed him a favor. He didn't want to owe someone like Vince anything, let alone something as open ended as a favor.

It was like the universe was testing how many small things could happen to him before he'd break.

So, Stab 4 it was.

He was buried under his comforter as he watched lightning strike Ghostface's grave. He could hear his dad snoring on the couch, almost drowning out the audio of the movie.

Ghostface's glove covered hand, holding a knife, shot up from the dirt, as someone knocked on his window.

Glancing over, he saw Chad crouched down, waiting expectantly for Tate to let him in.

Tate hopped to his feet, unlocking the window, and watched him climb through. "Why didn't you use the door?"

"Didn't want to wake up your dad. And it's more fun this way," he said with a shrug.

Tate laughed, scooting over so he could climb into the bed. "What's up? You didn't say you were coming over."

Chad scoffed. He stole Tate's bag of chips from his hand, grabbing a handful. "I need a reason to come over?"

He didn't meet Tate's eyes as he said it.

"What're you hiding?" Chad purposefully moved his eyes to the screen, watching the landline ring. "Hmm? What are you not telling me, cariño?"

Tate didn't speak Spanish often, because he never really had any reason to. He only used it on rare occasions; with Tara because they both wanted to make sure they didn't lose the ability to speak it, and when he wanted Chad to give him his way. A carefully placed turn of endearment and he melted like ice cream in the summer.

"It's not what I'm not telling you, it's what you're not telling me..." Chad said before he shoved a handful of Doritos into his mouth.

Tate laughed again. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? Do I have to answer your riddles three?"

He rolled his eyes, and then with an aggression he never gave to Tate, he explained, "Nancy told me last night that she saw you and Vince Schneider outside of a bar. She said that he was basically eating your tongue."

Tate felt like a kid with his hand stuck in a cookie jar. "Uh–"

"Is it true?" he asked, somehow managing to look extremely upset for a guy with a mouth full of bright orange chips. When Tate didn't immediately respond, didn't immediately say no, he repeated himself. "Is it true, T?"

"I–" The words wouldn't form in Tate's mouth, caught in his throat. He nodded.

Chad's face flickered through emotions, before his expression went blank. "Did you ever plan on telling me?"

"Yeah," Tate replied, honestly. He hated keeping secrets from Chad. It felt like a crime, and he'd never gone more than a day or two before he spilled the beans on whatever he was hiding.

"Then why didn't you?"

Tate pressed his hands to his face. "I don't see why you suddenly care who I'm hooking up with."

"I don't!" Tate rolled his eyes. Chad made an annoyed noise "I don't. I just.. Why him? He's a scumbag. And a creep. And probably a criminal. He carries around a switchblade like an extra in West Side Story!"

Tate laughed and the tension faded, just a little. Tinny screams played from Tate's computer. "I don't know. I just.. I know he's not a great guy but.. He's nice to me. He makes me feel.. wanted. It's nice."

Chad scoffed. "I'm nice to you."

Tate's heart stuttered. He forced a laugh. "Yeah, but, that's different."

Chad took in a breath, eyes lit up with something, opening his mouth to speak. "I–"

Before he could speak, a knock on Tate's door stopped him. They both turned and saw his father standing there. He'd obviously just woken up, because his hair was a disaster and there were lines from the couch on his cheek. "Tater Tot, your mom's on the phone. She said you blocked her number?"

"I don't want to talk to her," Tate said, sour mood flooding his body like venom. Chad made a sad little noise, and rubbed a hand between his shoulder blades.

Tate's dad sighed. "Tate, we've talked about this. You can't just ignore her–"

Tate lied back until he was basically in Chad's lap. "I'll call her later when I want to talk to her. Chad and I are having a movie night."

His dad sent Chad an exhausted look and Chad sent him an apologetic smile in return. He left a moment later, muttering apologies to Tate's mom.

"Get off, you're crushing me," Chad teased, but made no move to push him away.

Tate sent him his best pout. "But I've had such a bad day. A day that only cuddling my bro can help!"

He crawled into Chad's lap, looping his arms around his neck. "Hold me, C! Please?" He squeezed him tight. "Por favor, mi amor?"

Chad grunted, wiggling out of his hold. "You're so fucking annoying," he said, even as he wiggled around to make Tate more comfortable.

"It's why you love me," Tate teased.

Chad's voice was soft, fond, when he said, "Yeah. I really do."

[ohshcobsession]

Yes!!!!! This is what I was trying to.explain to my sister about their relationship giving me bad vibes (not because of my crush on Tamaki) but because Haruhi actually doesn't like him a good amount of time in the manga from what I can tell and in the Anime their relationship is so rushed we don't see even a hint of romance or even genuinely liking Tamaki coming from Haruhi, at best it's shown she tolerates Tamaki. Not to say Hikaru doesn't have his problems but from I'v seen she isn't near as annoyed with Hikaru and Hikaru was actively trying to get better on his flaws even slightly (the whole rain thing that happened on their date) he literally ran out in the rain no hesitation and comforted Haruhi the best he could after realizing his mistake and tracking her down. Honestly he it took him a minute but once he figured out she was scared and didn't come back he didn't wallow in self pity he did a oh shit I fucked up and ran to her side, imagine how hard it was for someone that never admitted anything, was never in the wrong and only had his brother to actually do that, instead of seeing it as some sort of betrayal she didn't straight up tell him just doing a oh fuck i didn't read her signals. Tamaki constantly gets on her nerves and just in general it feels like he doesn't actually like her, it feels like she is the first thing that is different to him and because its new and exciting unlike the usual clientel, he doesn't read her signals properly and tries shoving her into things she isn't comfortable in on multiple occasions, if Haruri was just a tsundere I would just mark most of her behavior twords him off but we can see her thoughts on everyone she isn't a tsundere can express her feelings twords people just fine and is genuinely annoyed with tamaki.

This isn't even touching on his Father complex, I don't think its a fetish or something he sexualizes I think it's that he wasn't able to process that his feelings twords her were actually romantic and thought that he was just being overprotective and linked them to a father daughter thing instead of a crush. None of them are bad people I love their characters and they are awesome but their halves don't align and I agree this is potentially a very harmful relationship, Tamaki could start being manipulative without realizing it just trying to get her affection and Haruhi could resent Tamaki. Just in general I don't think that the romantic was needed on the series, I feel like it would have been just fine if Haruri didn't end up dating anyone and just worked off her debt in the host club making friends along the way growing into her body and feel more confident learning that it was ok to let people in. Tamaki could have learned about other cultures and that he was immature and needed to deal with his emotions better, Hikaru learned to let people into his world and that it was ok to love and that not everyone would leave and not everyone would stay but that doesn't mean the experience wasn't worth it.

Why I Absolutely Cannot Stand TamaHaru as an Ouran Manga Reader

Shoutout to this post I made a while back, we're finally delving into the second half of my argument lol

I feel like I'm gonna get some heat for this but I mean this completely in good faith to the shippers, because y'all are people. And honestly? Since there are so many of you, I would genuinely appreciate hearing your (polite) responses because I really don't understand. Here's my (anti-TamaHaru) perspective:

Ok, so TamaHaru always seemed a bit bland to me in the anime. It was fine if it had to happen, I guess, but it always seemed like the other characters were a lot more excited about it than the actual couple, and it just kind of seemed like their energies and life plans didn't align? They don't even end up kissing by the end of the anime, and they were the main ship and a straight couple. If they wanted to kiss, wouldn't they have kissed? And I mean, yeah, there was that whole bit where everyone was like "wow, Haruhi's dad is just like Tamaki" (which seems like some sort of weird relationship complex in and of itself), but Tamaki had a tendency to get excited about shit Haruhi just complained about, and I... is it really worth it at that point?

(Especially when Kyoya and Mori are right there. Come on dude, Kyoya is absolutely willing to have Tamaki's back every step of the way for whatever interests he wants to pursue and Tamaki designates him as the teammate in the family, and don't even get me started on whatever was going on between Haruhi and Mori in the waterpark episode. I want more of that shit. But that's a topic for another time.)

Feel free to give me your arguments on this too (kindly, please), but I feel like most of it that I've seen is "they'll grow together"/"they're equally stupid and that's cute"/"he just loves her so much"/"they're so aesthetic" and none of these have ever really held water for me because it doesn't really seem to negate the lack of chemistry I've observed...

Oof that was a long ass backstory but onto the actual point

So in the manga, my experience was basically all my fears were confirmed and then some, and we quickly spiraled into downright emotional abuse and partner-to-partner hatred????

Ah god it was so bad

Here are some examples

Haruhi's reaction to the realization that she loves Tamaki (Volume 13)

Literally the first example of body dysmorphia we've ever gotten from Haruhi (directly contradicting her body-positive/neutral quotes from volume 3), along with a very convenient example of Tamaki's (NOW CONFIRMED ROMANTIC) infantilization of Haruhi that y'all already know because it is present since the start of the series (the thing is this wouldn't even be an issue if it was directed at a friend as a "we have a family bond and I want to feel like I'm taking care of you" as he does with the twins and not to someone who he wants to be his life partner....) (Volume 13)

Haruhi's thoughts on the possibility of dating Tamaki (Volume 13)

The fact that the Dream Haruhi plotline has ground to stand on?????? Since when has it been okay to fantasize that your supposed other half is a completely different person when it comes to an actual romantic relationship? Shit like this is okay until it starts affecting other people, and the fact Haruhi has already shown dysmorphia because she cares about whether or not Tamaki wants to date her and then this shit happens makes me very uncomfy down to my bones. (Volume 14)

This isn't something particularly heinous between these two, but it is yet another egregious example of how they always just completely miss each other's vibes, which I personally don't really like in my power couples (Volume 15)

I'm just saying, if I realized my girlfriend thought these things about me I would be justifiably upset (Volume 15)

Ok I understand the tendency of the host club to jokingly threaten violence (read: Kyoya when he wakes up and both of the twins) but this is both completely unwarranted and oddly genuine what the fuck :D (Volume 15)

What the fuck <3 (Volume 15)

It's ok guys she's rethinking it because he fell asleep in the club room :D (she never apologizes to him by the way)

And then they spend the rest of the series overcoming external obstacles and living happily ever after

Just kidding this is how they get together (Volume 18)

And this is their first date. I don't feel like depicting it in its entirety because my back hurts now but rest assured Tamaki acting like Tamaki pisses Haruhi off more than once <3 (Volume 18)

In summary I've only ever seen them act like this with each other I like both of their characters but these chapters genuinely almost convinced me to hate them they are so bad for each other just date someone else just date someone else p l e a s e

[helloalycia]

a new life [two] // layla el-faouly

summary: you need to start making changes in your new life, but you're not sure you can get used to being 'just friends' with Layla, no matter how hard you try.

warning/s: none.

author's note: here’s part 2 to the few people reading this haha, hope you like it!

one / three / masterlist / wattpad

It wasn't easy to accept that my life wasn't how I remembered it to be. In fact, it was a lot harder than I ever could have imagined.

After my breakdown following Layla's visit, I kept to myself. It wasn't intentional, but leaving my room would only remind me of what I'd lost out on, what had changed, so it was just easier to isolate myself and wallow in self-pity. It didn't help that my boxes from almost moving out were still stacked in the corner of my bedroom, constantly reminding me of what could have been.

At one point, I figured I should probably pack everything away since moving out was no longer my reality anymore, but it was probably a silly move since everything in there brought back bittersweet memories from my life with Layla. Photos, mementos, things she'd given me... I even found my phone, which I must have packed by accident or someone had thrown in here after I vanished. After charging it up, all I found were more painful memories of my old life. Photos of Layla and I, videos of us together at university, plans of our new place together.

I hadn't spoken to Layla since she'd visited and I was glad she was giving me the space because I had no idea what I would have said to her. It wasn't her fault, none of it was, but I couldn't bring myself to face her when I felt how I did. Even being with my mum hurt, watching her worry about me when I should have been a grown woman with a life of my own. There was something wrong with me and I didn't know how to fix it.

All the self-pity and isolation must have worried my mum more than she'd let on because after two weeks of it, she encouraged me to join a support group. Apparently she'd seen something about it around town when getting some groceries. It was a dedicated support group for people like me who had come back from the snap and couldn't deal with it. I didn't want to go, not at first, but after giving it a bit more thought, I knew it would be for the best. I wanted to get better and not feel so shitty, so I agreed to attend.

So, that's how I found myself sat in a circle of strangers at my local community centre. The attendees were a mixture of people whom I hadn't met before, all different ages. The person leading it, some qualified therapist, was patient with all of us and never pressured anyone to speak if they didn't want to which was lucky for me because I wasn't inclined to air my dirty laundry to a bunch of strangers.

Others seemed to like to speak though, and shared stories of how they were struggling to reintegrate back into society. It was comforting to know there were others like me who had missed out on so much, but it also hurt to know we were all going through it.

Everybody was experiencing different things – missing major milestones in their families lives, grieving over lost loved ones, being confused at what they would do next. I wasn't sure I was even supposed to be here because my problems seemed so small compared to, say, the guy who had returned to find his wife had remarried in his absence. But I stayed because of my mum and because I hoped it could help me, even a little.

"We've had a few newcomers in the past week which is great to see," Jayne, the lead therapist, was saying one session, "and I would never force anybody to speak if they don't want to, but I thought that it might be nice to have someone new share with the group."

Everybody stayed quiet as Jayne looked around at us all, eyes flickering between everyone. It felt like I was back in a lecture hall, waiting for the lecturer to pick on someone to answer a question. Talk about déjà vu.

"Y/N!"

And here it goes...

"Why don't you give it a go today?" Jayne asked gently, offering an encouraging smile.

I uncrossed my arms awkwardly as I straightened up in my seat, suddenly feeling everyone's eyes fall to me.

Clearing my throat, I shrugged. "Erm, I'm not– I– what do you want to know?"

Jayne spread her hands out. "Anything you want! What have you got on your mind?"

Chewing on the inside of my cheek nervously, I glanced around, seeing everybody staring at me. "Erm..."

"Maybe you can start with why you decided to attend," Jayne offered, and I was glad because I genuinely had no idea where to begin.

Nodding awkwardly, I tried to form a coherent thought. "Right... well, I came here because my mum wanted me to. She, er, she thought that it would help me to feel less shitty." Realising I swore, I looked up at Jayne apologetically. "Sorry, I didn't mean to– sorry."

"No need to apologise, Y/N," Jayne assured me. "Why do you feel that way?"

I gave her a questioning look. "Seriously?" She played dumb, and I'm not sure why, so I continued, "I lost five years of my life in seconds. I was supposed to move into a new apartment, start a life with my girlfriend, find a new job after graduation, but instead I'm back at home with no job, no girlfriend and no friends."

Jayne frowned. "Well, I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yeah, me and you both," I mumbled, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. "I just– it's not fair. Everything moved on and I'm still stuck."

"You're not stuck," somebody in the group said, and I looked up to see a young man watching me with sympathy. I think his name was Zain, but I couldn't be sure. "It feels like that, but you're not. It's just an adjustment period."

I shook my head at him. "It's not though, is it? I came back and my life is completely different. So are the people in it. My girlfriend isn't my girlfriend anymore. She's got a life of her own, one that doesn't include me. And my mum is basically the same. It's almost like I shouldn't have come back. It would have been easier on both of them."

"That's not true," Jayne said with certainty.

"Isn't it?" I asked, crossing my arms again. "All I'm doing is disrupting everything. My mum is always worried about me. My ex had to drop everything to come and see me, only for me to break down at the fact that she moved on without me. It's stupid."

Jayne gave me a knowing look. "Do you really think that they would be better off without you? Your mother is worried because she cares about you, Y/N. Do you think that the past five years have been better for her? Better without her daughter?"

I pressed my lips together, unsure what to say.

"And by the sounds of it, your ex girlfriend sounds like she cares, too if she was willing to drop everything to see you," Jayne continued. "I know that it must feel like you're disrupting everything, but as Zain said, it's an adjustment period. For you and for them."

"And how long is that gonna take?" I asked with a frown. "How long until it makes sense again? Until my life is my own again?"

Jayne sighed, leaning back in her seat. "Well, that's down to you. Of course things aren't going to be the same as they were before the snap, but it doesn't mean everything has to stay different. You said you were looking for a job? You can still do that. You said you have no friends? Put yourself out there. Contact old school friends. Sad that your girlfriend has moved on? I'm not going to sugarcoat it, it's gonna hurt. But she still cares about you and you don't have to lose her in your life altogether."

"You make it sound so easy," I said, swallowing hard. "It's not."

Jayne began to smile with amusement. "Of course it's not. But all you have to do is start somewhere small. Nobody said to take it all on at once."

I looked down at my hands, trying to understand how I could do that, where I could begin.

"You don't have to listen to me," Jayne said, and I glanced up to see her looking my way, before she looked around at everybody. "None of you do. But starting small will do wonders."

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to start small. Maybe Jayne wasn't wrong.

I tried to take Jayne's advice on board. Even if it felt stupid, I started to make a list of all the things I wanted to work on for myself so I had a starting point.

The first thing was to make things right with Layla. Even though I knew what the outcome would be – us no longer being together anymore – it was something I needed to fix because it wasn't fair on either of us. So, after finally buying a new phone and adding Layla's number, I arranged for us to meet up at a coffee shop. Thankfully, she agreed.

I found her sat in the corner table when I entered. She hadn't noticed me yet since she was slightly angled away from the front door, but she stood out to me instantly. A small smile appeared on my lips when I saw her, feeling that comforting warmth spread through me that I always felt whenever I was with her. She was stunning, even when she looked nervous, and I had to remind myself what I'd come here to do before my feelings got the better of me.

Clearing my throat, I approached her from behind and earned her attention. Offering her a small smile, I paused as she stood up, looking over me with a guilty expression. When she didn't say anything, I leaned forward and hugged her, glad when she hugged me back just as tightly.

"I'm sorry," she muttered when we pulled away, but I shook my head at her frown.

"You don't need to be," I assured her, squeezing her arm before taking a seat at the table. She did the same and I added, "Thanks for meeting with me. I'm sorry it took so long for me to ask."

"No, it's okay, I get it," she said quickly. "I mean, I understand why. It was a lot. I shouldn't have– you needed time. I shouldn't have come so quickly and interrupted your– it was a lot."

She was trying so hard to say the right thing, second guessing herself with every word, and I could see the concern on her face as she constantly looked between my eyes for any sign of discomfort. If I wasn't already deeply in love with her, I would have fallen there and then.

"I know that everything is different now," I said, trying to disguise my sadness so she wouldn't feel bad. "It's hard to believe still because it seems like I only graduated not long ago."

She frowned but, thankfully, didn't interrupt.

"I know that you're living your life, Layla," I said as calmly as I could, remembering all that I had practiced beforehand, "and I don't want to get in the way of that."

"You need to know that I never stopped loving you, Y/N," she said suddenly, interrupting my train of thought. "I always will. But I... I had to move on. I couldn't wait forever."

Though her words stung, I smiled sadly, knowing she was right. "I wouldn't have wanted you to. And it's– it's okay. I'm sorry that I ran out last time. It was too soon, but it's not now. I get it. I'm coming to terms with what this new reality looks like for me, and I know that it isn't the same anymore. And I just– you don't need to stay in it–"

She opened her mouth to interrupt, but I shook my head before she could convince me otherwise.

"No, Layla, it's fine," I said with understanding. "I get it. We're not together anymore and there's no need for you to–"

"Stop it," she said authoritatively, shaking her head with a clenched jaw. "No. I'm in your life no matter what. We were friends before we dated, remember? I still care about you, Y/N. I'm here for you."

I pressed my lips together, sighing inwardly. As much as I appreciated that sentiment, I wasn't sure I could be her friend when I was still in love with her. But I also missed her too much to push her away completely, and if she was fine being my friend, then who was I to argue it?

"Thanks," was all I could say without giving away my true feelings.

She exhaled with relief, a beautiful smile appearing on her lips. "Now. How are you doing? I tried to keep my distance, but I've been so worried. I just want you to be okay."

I returned her smile, a little less enthusiastically but still there. "I appreciated the space. I've been going to a support group. Trying to sort my life out and figure out what it means for me. I guess, starting with you has helped."

Her smile widened. "Y/N, that's great! I'm so proud of you for getting help."

Whether it was friendly or not, her words meant the world to me, and I felt my face heat up at the compliment. Only Layla El-Faouly could have such an effect on me.

Another month passed since I officially got demoted from girlfriend to friend with Layla, and apart from the fact that I couldn't be with the woman I loved, life was slowly starting to feel like normal. I guess that was thanks to Jayne and the support group.

I was still attending, listening to others and even sharing my own progress in life, which included finding a temporary retail job to start making some money whilst I got my shit together. It wasn't anything special – just at a clothes store in town – but it gave me something to focus on whilst I reviewed my resumé and qualifications to apply for real jobs following graduation.

Having a job gave me a purpose again and it was one step closer to feeling normal. Plus, I had Layla. Even though she wasn't my girlfriend anymore and I had to push my love for her aside, I still had her as a friend. She would text me like she used to, visit the house to see my mum and I, hang out with me. It was just like it was before we started dating, but of course, that was when I fell for her, so I couldn't see this going any better the second time. Still, I valued having her in my life.

I enjoyed getting to know the older version of Layla, the one who wasn't a fresh graduate with a hope to be just like her father. I appreciated discovering her new interests whilst she still revelled in her old ones. And I especially enjoyed being with her, even if it was in a friendly setting. Though, sometimes, I'd be reminded that we were much more.

We were going shopping together one day when I was meeting her at her apartment so we could go together. It was the first time I was seeing her place, so when she let me in and pardoned herself to finish getting ready, I took that as my chance to explore her place and get a further insight to the new Layla.

Her place was clean and organised, just like she'd always been, save for a few corners and bookshelves which were total messes. It brought a smile to my lips, knowing she was still passionate enough to forget to put her shit away when she was working on something good. There were a few knickknacks dotted about – mementos from trips she'd been on, artefacts that she no doubt had kept from her many experiences exploring, photographs from memories I hadn't been present for. It was hard not to think about what our place used to look like, and what our new place could have looked like together.

We were so damn close. And being here in her apartment right now was bringing everything back up. No matter how much progress I'd made in accepting my new life, my old one still haunted me.

Trying to not let it get to me, I continued perusing her many bookshelves until I spotted a framed photograph on the end. I instantly recognised it and began to smile with disbelief, picking it up and studying it carefully.

in the photo, the two of us were stood side by side, my arms hooked around her shoulders as hers laced around my waist. Massive grins were on our faces as the landscape of a carnival was framed behind us. It was our first date – she'd asked me to go to the carnival that was happening in the park near our university, thinking I'd love it, and she wasn't wrong because I did.

I swallowed hard, smile fading as I remembered how perfect that day was. We stayed there for hours, playing all of the games, riding the bumper cars, eating all the food we could find. We watched the sunset together on the ferris wheel and she kissed me for the first time, right at the top, smiling with embarrassment when I accused her of planning the whole thing. It was one of the best moments of my relationship with her, of my life. I didn't think she'd keep the photo, especially not after all this time.

"Okay, so I finally found my purse, so I'm ready to go if you're– oh."

I looked up when Layla entered the room, her eyes drifting to the photograph in my hand. Clearing my throat, I awkwardly returned it to its spot on her bookshelf.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to snoop," I said, hoping all the effort I'd made to be her friend hadn't immediately been thrown down the drain. "I just– I saw it and– sorry."

"No, no, it's fine. It's–" She paused, stepping forward cautiously, eyes glancing at the photo before looking back to me. She offered me a small smile. "It was a good day. Wasn't it?"

I hoped my surprise wasn't obvious when she said that, as I definitely didn't expect her to acknowledge it at all.

"Yeah," I agreed slowly. "It was."

She pursed her lips, beginning to chew on her lower one as she stood beside me to get a better view of the photo. I glanced at her profile, wishing I knew what she was thinking.

"I hope you don't mind that I kept the photo," she said quietly, and I realised she was embarrassed, a faint pink blush dusting her cheeks. "It was just a way to keep you around when you weren't."

Her words warmed my heart, and then it set on fire when her brown eyes met mine in a softened glance.

"I don't mind," I said, not meaning for it to come out in a whisper.

She swallowed thickly, lips tugging into a half smile before she looked down at her shoes. I couldn't look away from her as she ran a hand through her curls before walking away.

"C'mon, we should go," she said, grabbing her keys from the kitchen counter. "You ready?"

I nodded. "Yeah..."

The weird energy between us remained when she drove us to the shopping centre, though maybe it was just me who felt it because she looked unfazed. I tried to push it to the back of my mind, not wanting my feelings for her to ruin the day and our relationship in general.

We looked around at a few stores, buying some clothes and catching up at the same time, and it was just a great feeling to be able to spend time with her. She always made everything easier.

"I like this for you," she was saying as we were shopping, and only when she looked my way did I realise she was talking to me. "What do you think?"

I cursed inwardly, telling myself to stop getting distracted by her, and looked to the jacket she was holding. It was a hooded red, blue and black jacket and she seemed really excited about the idea of me getting it.

Trying not to laugh, I quirked a brow at her. "Are you trying to make me look like a crayon or...?"

She shoved me in the shoulder before waving her hand at me impatiently. "C'mon, don't knock it until you try it. It'll look good!"

"Layla," I whined, but she ignored me as she was already unzipping my current jacket.

"Try it on," she said with a stern voice and knowing look.

I sighed dramatically and removed my jacket before putting on the one she chose. Once it was zipped up, I looked to her with narrowed eyes, feeling like a child trying on a school uniform for their mother. She let out an excited squeal as her hands clasped together and her eyes looked me up and down.

"Yeah, this looks awesome, I was right," she said before putting her hands on my shoulders and walking me to a nearby mirror.

"Layla–"

"Just look," she insisted, and I looked up to see the jacket still looking very much like a crayon set.

"I'm not so sure," I said with a raised eyebrow, turning around to get a look from behind, too. "I'm not sold."

She unzipped it for me and then stood behind me, forcing me to stand in different angles so I could see it from all sides. Now I definitely felt like a child with their mother.

"Okay, you're totally buying it," she said, having made up her mind. Her eyes met mine in the mirror, an amused smile on her lips as she added, "And if you don't, I'm buying it for you."

I didn't hate the jacket, but it definitely wasn't my favourite thing. But Layla looked so excited and my insides were turning into jelly as she watched me with glowing eyes, so I caved.

"Fine, I'll buy it," I gave in reluctantly, making her smile widen.

She began talking about how I needed to buy more things for myself, a familiar topic between us when we'd been a couple, but I don't think she realised. I was only half-listening because I grew distracted once more, eyes studying her face as she helped me take off the jacket and put my other one on.

Would I buy an ugly jacket just because she asked me to? It seemed so. Though I guess I knew that already. I'd do anything she asked me to.

After buying the jacket and browsing a few more stores, we got some food from the food court and enjoyed being off our feet. Layla was talking about a trip to Egypt she had coming up for work, something about unfinished business.

"So you lay low every time you go there because...?" I asked curiously, recalling her telling me how she had to be careful whenever she went.

An embarrassed smile appeared on her lips. "Well... let's just say that I haven't exactly been making friends whilst being over there."

I quirked an eyebrow. "Seriously? Is it safe?"

I knew she dealt with illegalities in her line of work, which I didn't care about since she was doing the right thing, but it still worried me that it concerned dangerous individuals. Layla could take care of herself and she was far from careless, but it still worried me.

"Look, it's nothing to worry about," she assured me nonchalantly, before silencing herself by taking a bite of her burger.

"Oh, yeah, that doesn't sound suspicious," I said with a knowing look before having some fries. "Maybe I'll let my mum know what you're up to if it's nothing to worry about, huh?"

She gave me a warning look, but a smile was threatening to break out on her face. "Don't you dare. I am an angel in Y/M/N's eyes. You're not ruining this for me."

I tried to hold in my laughter. "Better be careful then."

"I'm always careful."

I maintained her gaze, smile fading slightly. "I know you are are. But still."

Sensing that I wasn't joking anymore, her smile faded, too. "I'll be careful," she promised. "I'll even bring you something back. A souvenir."

I pursed my lips, tilting my head towards her. "I'm not five, Layla."

Her smile widened once more before she began to laugh, stirring a flutter of butterflies in my stomach as she always did.

God, this was going to be hard.

[kiame-sama]

Heal quickly :( I'm sorry that happened to you. Was it a clean break? If so, it should heal back stronger!

Because I am being moody and I want to wallow in my own self-pity, have my yandere Oc's taking care of a darling with a broken ankle. (Fun fact: I have to wait a full WEEK to get an actual cast instead of the hastily put on temp cast because insurance is a bitch even though I've had the X-rays done and they know exactly what kind of break it is. This means I have a week to not mess up my bones further but I can feel them separate with every step)

Thank you for the well-wishes.

He is truly, deeply, honestly so sorry, love. It hurts him to see you in such pain and know there is nothing he can do about it to help you heal faster. Strict medicine regiment that he adheres to no matter what. He is sorry for waking you, love, but he needs to make sure you get ahead of the pain in terms of medicine and you take it exactly as he instructs. He will be frantic if you ever try to get out of bed yourself, let him carry you to and from the bathroom, let him feed you, let him spoil you in every way, shape, and form. He will call out of work (the first time he has ever done so in his career, so he can take care of you). Let him be a good doctor to you.

He knows you have to stay off your leg and when it comes to treating your injuries versus the animals, he can actually keep you off of your feet and in bed. He will bring you everything he possibly can and he will ensure you don't lift a finger. He will carry you and he will help you bathe and he will baby you entirely until you have healed. Don't fight him on it, you will not win. This man naps with tigers and has made friends with hyenas, you won't win that fight.

Evan is quite literally worried sick. He doesn't sleep, he doesn't leave your side. He is the one who gives you all of your meals and insists on feeding you just to make sure you eat. His right hand man will be dealing with any and all family or mafia affairs while Evan takes care of you. Don't try to argue or resist his help, he just needs to fuss over you. You mean the world to him and you being hurt makes his world crumble to bits. He needs to take care of you.

He is not handling it well at all. He will cook, clean, work, take care of you, and do anything he possibly can in order to make you feel as comfortable as possible. Please tell him how to help, he needs to do what he can for you because acts of service are his primary love language. He wants to help you keep your leg elevated and to keep you off of it for as long as you possibly can. You may need to comfort him because he will go into a full blown panic attack the moment he thinks you are in any discomfort.

Amira will cry because that is her primary way of venting emotion. She is worried about you and practically begs her big brother to come take a look at your leg and help you get proper care. She may also beg him to give you the good meds that will take any ounce of pain you may have away. Unless you stop her, she will skip classes just so she can stay home and take care of you. Please don't let her skip too many classes, she will stress over her grade.

Kaya will put her research on hold and will go out of her way to help you however she can. If that means she is the one keeping track of your meds, then she will happily do it for you. She will do all she can to make sure you stay in bed and stay off of your leg, helping you to and from the bathroom as needed. Kaya can be quite gentle when it comes to taking care of you and she will ensure that every single one of your needs are met. Say the word and she will go get you whatever you need to be comfortable again.

Julie is going to keep you on strict bed-rest and she will not let up until you have healed. Certainly you get a better cast than the one you had temporarily placed on, but that doesn't make her any more likely to let you get up and do things. She isn't the best at remembering when you need to take which meds, but she does try and that is the important part. She tries quite hard.

Hada is no stranger to broken bones, so she knows how important it is to stay off of your feet and to keep your leg elevated. Don't make her tie you down to the bed because she will do it to make sure you rest. She can and will carry you to wherever you want to go, so tell her if you need the bathroom or anything else.

Just flat out heals your leg. They don't like seeing you in pain unless it has something to do with the bedroom.

[the-writing-mobster]

| What Do You Want? | Revised Chapter 14 Excerpt |

🫀

With a bitter sigh, she took a long look at the letter, put the contents to memory. Do the dishes. The laundry. The animals. The plants. 

And then she ripped it in half.

Right down the middle, and nothing had ever felt so cathartic. 

But, as she turned around, she caught Sans leaning against the entrance, watching her, and she flinched. 

She quickly turned away from him with a nervous breath and shoved the two pieces of the letter in her pocket, shivering as she looked for an excuse to escape his glare. 

God, why was she so impulsive? It was like she'd never learned even after years of being beat up and spit on. If she looked in the mirror and saw her younger self staring back, would she be able to tell the difference? 

The thought made her give a wry laugh. 

"Something funny?" he murmured.

She looked at him with a hardened twinkle in her eyes. “No.” 

He sucked in through his teeth and clicked his tongue almost in disappointment. 

When he said nothing but continued to stand in the doorway, she let out a frustrated sigh.

"What is it, sir?" She asked coldly. It wouldn't be long before she would be out of their grasp. Papyrus's blessing or not.

Sans rolled his eyes and gave a sardonic grin. "Nothin… you're just interesting, I guess," he said with a shrug.

Her body went stiff and she stared hard at the chinaware displayed in a glass case.

Anything to keep herself from looking at him. 

"What do you mean by that?" She fumbled with her hands and rubbed the sides of her thigh.

What was he going to do? She couldn't tell if he was trying to apologize, trying to intimidate her or trying to… she didn't know. 

"I dunno. You're just… you're such an enigma. And I can't seem to ever put my finger on you… I didn't," he scoffed with laughter as he battled with his words. She glanced at him from under her thick lashes and he sighed. "I didn't do anything last night, did I? Because you knew when I got back and—" 

"—Oh no! No, I just, I was… I was also awake." She tried to ignore his musings about her, the implication that she was a constant topic on his mind.

It wasn't comforting.

How did he think of her? Disgusting creep. Probably either wants to fuck me or kill me. We'll be out soon.

He looked away and shoved his hands in his jacket pockets. He looked nervous, like he wanted to say something but didn't exactly know how to phrase it.

Or if it was worth saying. 

"Can't sleep?"

She stared down at her feet as he tossed the question at her. 

"I guess… I mean, I haven't been able to sleep for a while."

No thanks to you asshole.

Sans sighed and nodded with understanding. "Yeah neither can I. You know what I do?" He asked as he rubbed his forehead.

I don't care. 

"What?" Frisk paced away from him, the torn list of chores burning a hole in her back pocket.

He eyed her; she was a puzzle he didn't have all the pieces to. It infuriated him... but was oh, so alluring. Why her? Of all people why was it her who confounded him so much? Left him reeling and clawing at himself for answers. 

"Well, I climb out onto the roof and look at the wishing stones. I wallow in self pity for a little bit and then I go back inside. I don't know. Maybe that's something you'd want to give a shot," he said softly.

She felt her soul flicker and she bit her lip as they stared each other down.

That dark gaze.

Those black holes that sucked her in and didn't ever let her go...

Why was he doing this?

What did he want?

She could only gaze upon the abyss for so long before she needed to come back to earth. She blinked and broke the stare. When she landed back in reality, she scowled.

"The Beatles?”

 When he shot Frisk a puzzled look, she continued, "You… last night, you came to my door, knocked, and then slipped a Beatles vinyl album underneath. And then you left," she said.

He searched his memory, but sighed with defeat when he found nothing. 

"I uh... Hah, what?” he asked with a small chuckle as he shook his head at himself. 

Frisk hid her amusement at the situation with a raise of her brows. She almost mentioned her theory about him listening to her on the interview but bit her tongue. 

Sans shrugged. “I... must've... Yeah, fuck if I know,” he said with a small scoff and Frisk nodded along. 

Yeah. Fuck if he knew. 

He eyed her, his face etched with something unknown before he gestured behind him with a jab of his thumb and a whistle. “Listen um... Thanks for stepping in there kid. Things could've uh... they could've gotten ugly. Now, I guess I should get goin.” 

She nodded curtly and waved him off. 

Watched with bated breath as he stepped into the shadows. As he tapped the wall and turned back to her. A coil of anxiety curled through her stomach like razor wire with every move he made. 

Sans gave a languid grin and nodded to her. “Hey... you should check out Snowed Inn... Don't worry about what Papyrus says," he said as he made his way to the mudroom.

Frisk's lips betrayed her when she let a smile slip past her defenses. 

“Oh? And what if I finally run away?” she asked boldly, almost to test him and see if this strange softness would shatter once his power was challenged. 

But he just chuckled softly to himself and rolled his eyes. “Well, then I guess I'd stop you, Moxie,” he teased, and Frisk felt like she was losing her mind because the usual threatening hiss of his voice was gone. 

Her lips pursed and she swayed on her heels.  "Goodbye," she called meekly. 

He did not say goodbye back. 

She told herself she preferred that. 

 .

.

.

[vestaldestroyer]

@musa-gking your Yuri lives AU gave me brain worms, so now you get fanfic. Enjoy!

Yuri wakes up to the stale air of a basement and the smell of iron, leather and sweat. It makes him nauseous, but he doesn't react, his brain still half-asleep. He feels exhausted to the bone and everything hurts, he can't move a single finger. His thoughts roll sluggishly in his head.

Where… am I? …What happened?

Then, he remembers. His fight with L. L. Audun. The pain, the blood, and then… the fall. The heat. The cathartic, soothing feeling of being enveloped and consumed by his own flames. His endless guilt melting away.

And, just before he could let his consciousness drift off peacefully, the jarring bite of cold seawater that swallowed him, filled his lungs and spit him out.

Disappointment fills him.

So I'm still alive, huh.

Deciding to indulge his desire to wallow in self-pity a little longer, he opens his eyes to take in his surroundings.

He freezes.

He is indeed in some basement, illuminated by a two flickering lightbulbs hanging off the ceiling on nothing but cables. His bed is in the very center of the room, which is unnerving, but not as much as the litany of what seems to be ropes, whips, handcuffs and other torture instruments Yuri can't even imagine the function of adorning the brown brick walls. The soft, comfortable pillow under his head and warm, fluffy blanket covering him only add to his confusion.

Where the hell is he?!

Panic wells up. Forcing his arms to move, he runs his hands over his chest, feeling his ribs. They hurt, but they don't seem to be broken anymore. He could run. Probably. He could—

Is he wearing a zip-up hoodie? With only bandages underneath? When did that happen? How long has he been out? And most importantly, who did this to him?

Whoever brought him here knew that he was Lunatic. But instead of handing him over to the police, they took him to their basement torture chamber, treated his injuries, gave him new clothes and a warm blanket, and—

His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of slippers shuffling down the stairs. He turns his head to the side to see the entrance, where a young woman appears. Dressed in a worn, loose shirt and a long skirt, hair dyed bright orange with white tips, and she's carrying a bowl and a spoon.

“Oh, you're awake!” she notices, smiling happily, but Yuri has no reason to trust her.

“Who are you? Where am I?” he demands, his voice rough and weak from disuse. He tries to prop himself up on his elbows, but his muscles betray him and he flops back down pathetically. He sighs, accepting his fate.

It's not like anything matters anymore.

The woman puts the bowl on a small table next to his bed and slides her arms under his head and shoulders, helping him sit up. As soon as she's sure he can stay in that position, she puts the bowl of red soup with minced meat and potatoes in his lap.

“Here, you need to eat.” She sits down on the edge of the bed at his legs. “I go by Róka. Me and my friends found you washed out on the beach and decided to return the favour.”

The smell of onions and paprika is tempting, and Yuri concludes that even if she was trying to drug or poison him, there is nothing he can do anyway. He scoops up the soup and eats it.

“Favour?” he repeats, his voice slowly coming back thanks to the warm soup.

“You don't have to be suspicious, it's simple: you saved our lives, we saved yours. That's it.” He only gives her a blank look, and that's enough to make her explain further. “Remember the Lady Killer? You came to our club and took him out. Just in time before Vidra could become his next victim, too. And who knows which one of us would he have picked next, so you saved us all.”

Saved them?

He was punishing a criminal. Killing a person.

Heroes save people. He is no hero, and he never will be.

“It wasn't my intention to save anyone, and you're risking a lot by keeping me here. Harbouring a criminal is a felony punishable by up to 10 years of—”

“Okay, Mr. Law Expert. I don't care. You can ask my friends when they wake up, they'll tell you the same thing. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Now eat your soup and rest, you're still injured.”

He doesn't push the topic further. To be honest, he doesn't feel like thinking about it yet, either.

“How long have I been here?” he asks instead.

“A couple weeks? I'm not really counting. If you want to know what's happening in the city, my sister can give you some newspapers, but in short, it's a mess. I don't really get politics, and the whole X things went over our heads because the only NEXT in our club have harmless powers, but people are suing the mayor I think?”

Yuri knows exactly what she means.

“Human rights violation.” While the mayor isn't a murderer, he's still the kind of person that disgusts Yuri. Mostly because people like him make it painfully obvious how useless the justice system was, and yet nobody ever bothered to change it. “He'll just buy his way to freedom and run for mayor again in the next election.”

“Yeah, I'll leave intellectual debates to Kánya and Sova,” Róka waves her hand dismissively. “I'll stick to worrying about all of my friends being well fed. If you want, I bet Sova is already awake, I can tell her to come down.”

“Thank you, but I'll just rest, like you said. And your worrying pays off, the soup is delicious,” he attempts a small smile. He's not really sure how successful he is, but Róka smiles back.

“I'm glad. A good goulash soup is the best cure for everything, no matter what Paloma's clever medical books say.”

“That and a shot of vodka, is what Rakun would tell you,” a new voice joins the conversation. A teenage girl in a colourful minidress and tights with twintails dyed blond with pink stripes hops into the room. “I see our prisoner is awake.”

“Don't call him that,” Róka scolds zim immediately.

“When you bring someone this pretty into my chamber and don't even let me chain him up, the least you could do is let me call him whatever I want,” zie pouts.

“He's our guest, Yara. Not a customer. Be nice.”

“Whatever. By the way, we're waiting for you with lunch, it's almost three.”

“I'll be there in a second,” Róka nods, and with that, Yara leaves. Noticing Yuri's look towards zim, Róka takes it upon herself to provide an explanation.

“Zie's not a child, don't worry. Looking young is zir NEXT power.”

He wasn't even thinking about that, but it is reassuring to hear. More importantly…

“So this room is…”

“Yeah, but it's not in use anymore, we have newer ones. That's why we hid you here. Anyway,” she collects the empty bowl from his lap, “I have to go. I'll visit again when I have the time, and so will the others, probably. Feel free to come upstairs when you feel like it, you're really not a prisoner here. The stairs lead to our house, so no one will see you. Our club is just next door, in case you were curious where exactly you are. And… I guess that's all you need to know. Any questions?”

Yuri is getting sleepy again, he can't really think of anything, so he just shakes his head.

“Well then. I'll see you soon,” she gives him another smile before leaving.

Yuri doesn't trust these people, even though something inside of him is telling him that he could. He doesn't know why did they think he was worth saving, he doesn't know how to feel about being alive. Should he hate it? Probably, but somehow, he can't bring himself to. Not yet, anyway. Should he be grateful for a second chance? That's pushing it. For now, he'll just… try.

Maybe he survived for a reason.

---

I'll probably write more of this, I still have ideas. Let me know what you think, I love discussing this AU ^^

Edit: continuation here!

[bluemoondust]

Can you image what the psychic type specialists reaction to a darling who is already in an relationship with someone.

✧Darling is Already in a Relationship — Psychic Type Specialists✧

The short answer to this? They don't take it very well. Also, it's very scary to make people who could literally bend spoons, lift people from the ground and move objects with their minds as your enemy. Do not recommend at all.

Warning(s): Sabotage of Relationship (Darling's basically), Manipulation, Invasion of Privacy (Lucian looks for info on darling's partner), Guilt Tripping, Belittlement (not towards Darling), Light Threats, Slight Delusional Behavior and Thinking

Characters: Sabrina, Will, Lucian, Caitlin, Faba, Avery, Dexio

✧Sabrina✧

She already saw this coming and most likely has a way to deal with it all. Sabrina is one of those yanderes who plays her cards right and picks her moves very well; making it hard to brush her off or compete against. She's already won this battle before it even started. With the advantages she has, you'll soon be receiving some unfortunate news that your partner wants to split. Sabrina did mention that there was a possibility they might be growing distant, but you shrugged it off. Though now, you're wallowing in your self pity as Sabrina is there to comfort you; as someone who'd never leave your side should.

✧Will✧

Thinks it's a joke at first; then it isn't. Admittedly, he's a little disappointed when he learns this. Them of all people? I mean, he believes you could do better, say you know, date him? Oh but that's just a suggestion in his mind that'll stay put until he figures out how to deal with this nuisance. Will is not only disappointed in the news but also with himself. He believes that he did not try hard enough to win your affections and now he must prove himself! It's alright, he'll sweep you off your feet and you will forget all about that person.

✧Lucian✧

He remains calm hearing this, probably from one of his conversations with you. On the outside, Lucian puts on a happy facade about your relationship but the gears in his head are turning as he asks some questions. None that would make you suspicious of his intentions, of course. When he's done, Lucian uses that information and other sources on your partner against them. There has to be something to ruin their reputation or make them out to be a partner who is lacking. It would give Lucian the opportunity to swoop in and comfort you, letting you know that he'll always be there no matter what. There's no winning against a man on a mission and knows how to play his cards right.

✧Caitlin✧

Completely unfazed on the outside and gives a simple nod of acknowledgement. However on the inside, Caitlin's mind is racing as the cup in her hands cracks slightly from the pressure of her psychic powers. With a deep breath, she calms herself, knowing that becoming too rash would not end things well. To put it simply, Caitlin does not sit well with hearing about this. She has no idea who this is so she immediately has zero trust in them. Why did you have to do this? Isn't she enough for you? Manipulation/guilt tripping will be used as she occupies your time until your significant other talks to you about it. Definitely plays victim as she only wants to spend quality time and is afraid you'll never talk to her again. If your partner does not relent, it looks like Caitlin will have to go a little further.

✧Faba✧

Offended. Like why? This person is below dirt compared to him and you chose them?? Faba is severely peeved off and honestly? Will make that person's life a living nightmare; especially if in this scenario they work at Aether Paradise. If you confront him about this, he'll deny everything. Did that pathetic excuse of a significant other really accuse him of such actions? Oh darling, they must have some sort of lying problem because he did no such thing! Faba makes your significant other out to be the bad guy any chance he gets to further show you why he is superior to them. They will never satisfy you. 

✧Avery✧

He finds it very insulting. What could that person possibly have that he didn't? Hasn't he worked hard enough to please you? In short, Avery isn't a happy camper when he learns that you're in a relationship. Similar to Faba, he is going to terrorize your partner in the most subtle way he can. Passive aggressive comments, light threats, harsh criticism, and so on. Heck, might even at one point actually go through with his word and lifted them up with his telekinesis after they pissed him off. And he's not just mad at them, Avery is upset with you too. How could you push him like this? What do you want to gain from all this, huh?

✧Dexio✧

Honestly a little saddened by this fact, hurt even. Was he wrong in his observations? Huh...  Dexio will have to give himself time to process this news because even though you obviously look happy with your relationship, he is not. He wants you. He refuses to accept this and be put to the side. Dexio fully believes in putting your happiness before his own, but it feels wrong to let this slide. He could make you so much happier than they could. Certainly he can find flaws in your partner, right? They can't be that perfect...

[youbloodymadgenius]

Ivarello (Modern!Ivar x reader) Chapter 4

Moodboard by @quantumlocked310

Ivarello’s masterpost here

A/N: This is my entry for @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie 500 Followers Fairy Tale Challenge. It's a retelling of Cinderella. Congrats again, darling 💖

A huge thank you to @mrsalwayswrite , who's a great beta reader and an even greater cheerleader 😂

A massive thank you to @quantumlocked310 , @vikingstrash and @serasvictoria . Thank you for agreeing to collaborate and for sharing your talent with me. Your moodboards are beyond amazing 🤩

In this story, Sigurd is alive. Ragnar and Aslaug are dead, but Lagertha didn't kill her. I took a lot of liberties with the show, I hope you won't mind.

Unlike the tale, there will be no magic involved. Not everything will be realistic, however. It's a fayritale, after all!

Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊

Summary: Orphaned five years ago, Ivar and his brothers have been living with Lagertha ever since. Now 16 years old, he wants to attend Harald's traditional Midsummer party, but obstacles stand in his way.

Warnings: description of car crash; orphaned kids; Sigurd being Sigurd; OOC characters.

Words: 2877

Additional note: This is the final chapter. There'll be an epilogue, but you'll have to wait a bit because there are a lot of challenges I've signed up for and I'm way behind schedule.

Enjoy 🙂

🛡⚔️🛡

Devastated and angry at the world. That's how Ivar is feeling.

Holed up in his room since the night before, and despite Lagertha incessant requests, he doesn’t plan to come out, not now at least. Come to think of it, he might as well decide never to leave his room again.

He can't stand the idea of facing his brothers. He doesn't want to have to tell them about his failure. He doesn't want to endure Ubbe's pity and condescendence. He doesn't want to see the look of triumph on Sigurd's face. The thought makes his stomach lurch while at the same time a murderous urge creeps into his mind. No, he definitely can't see his brothers.

Surprisingly, and unlike Lagertha, his brothers have left him alone, as if sensing that entering his room would be as moving into a minefield. Only Hvitserk had taken a chance earlier, cautiously poking his head through the door. His disapproving look obvious when his eyes had taken in the scene before him, Ivar's belongings scattered on the floor, some of them smashed into pieces.

"I got you a chocolate muffin from the kitchen, baby bro," he had explained, putting it on a nearby shelf, and it had almost brought a smile to Ivar's face. To Hvitserk, there's no predicament that can't be improved with comfort food.

"Look, Ivar," scratching his neck, Hvitserk had then said, "I don't know what happened and I don't want to pressure you. You tell me when you're ready, if you are. But I'm here, okay? Whatever the time of day or night, you don't have to be alone if you don't want to. If I'm upstairs, just call me, okay?" With these words, he was gone, the door closed.

Ivar can't get the events of the previous evening out of his mind. Like a waking nightmare, they are playing over and over in his head: how he had freaked out when he heard the beeps; the confused and then so disappointed look you had given him when he sputtered his need to leave; finally, his shameful escape into the night.

What could he have done? What should he have done?

He does know the answer. He should have been more cautious. He should have checked the time, asked for your number and just walked away.

On the other hand, what difference would it have made? He would still have no future with you, right? He would still be a cripple, and you would still be... you... perfect... too good for him.

So yeah, he had run away like a coward. He lets out a bitter chuckle to himself. Run away? Who is he kidding? He hadn't run away, that would have been too easy. Cripples don't run away. Without his cane – why the fuck did he leave it behind?? – he had pathetically limped away, stumbling, his feet sinking into the sand. He had still been on the beach when the battery had died. He had had no other choice but to crawl like a worm the rest of the way, silently praying to the gods that the darkness of the night would prevent you from seeing him like this.

Tears of despair run down his cheeks for the umpteenth time. He's used to feeling humiliated, but feeling humiliated and heartbroken simultaneously is really too much to take. He feels like he's dying from the inside over and over again, cursing himself for wanting to attend the party, for wanting to see you again. He should never have let his walls down, he should never have dared to hope. What was he thinking? He may have walked, and even danced with you, but at the end of the day, he still is a pitiable cripple with stupid, crooked legs, in love with a girl way out of his league.

If he's being honest, that's what hurts the most. He now realizes how delusional he had been. Holding on to a dead dream for years, he had not forseen the painful yet unavoidable reality check. And now, it's like he's been hit by a train. Because there's no denying it, dreaming of a life with you is no longer an option, not after last night. And even though it's almost unbearable, he knows now he has to let go of you, of the idea of you and him being together. As much as this mere thought is devastating, he has no other choice. He has to stop fooling himself, for his own sanity, if nothing else.

Giving a guttural cry, much like that of a wounded animal, Ivar doesn't hear when the front doorbell rings. Not that he would have reacted even if he had heard it, too busy wallowing in self-pity.

***

"Thank you for having us here on such short notice, my dear." Your uncle states joyfully, his eyes sparkling, as Lagertha greets him with a handshake and a tight-lipped smile. Even though you don't know why, it's obvious that she's not his biggest fan.

Your uncle, who doesn't seem to notice – or doesn't care, you're not sure – keeps giving her a beaming smile. "My niece here," he turns his head toward you for a short moment, "has a weird request. She met a boy yesterday, during the party. He lost something and my sweet Y/N has been adamant since this morning that she wants to find him and personally return it to him. We were wondering," he turns his gaze in the direction of the couch, "if it could be one of your wards."

There are indeed three young men, half sprawled on the couch, who get up as one when Lagertha gives them a stern look. If you vaguely remember having seen them before, a single glance is enough for you to know that the one you're looking for is not among them.

You're on the verge of saying so but your uncle doesn't give you a chance to. "See boys," he unceremoniously grabs the cane you're holding behind your back, "here is the lost item. A cane! Fairly uncommon, if you ask me. Anyway... Does this... thing belong to any of you?"

Since you know it doesn't, you're surprised when two of the guys both take a step forward. "Actually, it's mine," they say in unison, each of them only then becoming aware that the other is speaking.

Dumbstruck, you look at one then the other successively. They've got a lot of nerve! You know they're lying, and you would have known it even if these two idiots hadn't spoken at the same time. They just look nothing like your handsome stranger – if he's a stranger.

"Sigurd, you know it's mine!"

"Don't play dumb, you never use a cane, Ubbe! Whereas me, I do sometimes. Everyone knows artists tend to be eccentric, right?"

The blondest one – Sigurd if you heard right – points his finger at a guitar leaning against the wall and then winks at you, "I'm a musician, you know?" You don't even have time to roll your eyes as the other one – Ubbe? – yells, his nostrils flaring.

"Shut up Sig, you're so full of shit! You know I've got a sprained ankle!"

"A sprained ankle, no kidding? Who did a ten-kilometer run today, huh? It's not me! So, you are the one going to shut up, you fucking douchebag!"

It's almost funny to watch them arguing back and forth. If you weren't so pissed off, you'd laugh. But right now, you're mostly mad at them. Their blatant lies make your blood boil with anger.

Are they really thinking you're a complete idiot? That you can be fooled so easily? Who do they think they are? Who do they think you are? Some stupid chick ready to fall for their good looks? If they think that, they're kidding themselves.

"You're the fucking douchebag, Sig!! Don’t forget I'm the oldest!"

"And what's the difference, huh? You can't have all the girls, Ubbe! Keep fucking Margrethe and just let me be! Stop being a controlling asshole!"

"STOP!!!! BOTH OF YOU!!!"

Lagertha's shout is deafening and if looks could kill, these two morons would be lying dead on the floor right here, right now.

"Y/N, my dear," Lagertha gives you an apologetic smile, "I'm so sorry for that. I swear they usually know how to behave, better than that at least. Guess they don't know how to handle your striking beauty. Now sweetheart, tell me, is one of these two knuckleheads the one you were with last night?"

The silence that falls on the room after her question is so complete that you could hear a pin drop. Acutely aware that all eyes are on you, you shyly lower your gaze, shaking your head slightly, as you clasp your hands over your belly. You eventually speak, your eyes meeting Lagertha's, and you can see she knows what you're going to say. "No, the guy I was with last night is not one of them."

"How can you be so sure?" Sigurd's voice is soft and tentative now, and Ubbe adds, seemingly for once in agreement with his younger brother, "yeah, how can you? It was pretty dark after all."

You give them a smile. "How can I be so sure? You mean beside the fact that you obviously don't need a cane? Neither of you?" The third brother, who still hasn't opened his mouth, chuckles, giving you a thumbs up. "Look, I appreciate your interest, I really do, but neither of you are the one I am looking for. Therefore," you look at your uncle, "we should leave, don't you think?" Checking the time on your watch, you shrug. "What about the Eyvindsson family? Didn't you tell me about three brothers? We may have time to go and see them tonight if we hurry."

Your uncle nods, handing you back the cane. "You're right, Y/N, we should leave." Taking two steps forward, he grabs Lagertha's hand. "Sorry dear, we will waste no more of your time."

You're about to thank her when one of the boys clears his throat. "Ahem..."

Turning your head, you're surprised to see the third brother, the silent one, raising his hand. "I think I might know who this cane belongs to." Frowning, he glances at his brothers. "And you both know it too."

"Shut up, Hvitserk!" Sigurd spits, clenching his hands into fists. "Don't bring the fucking cripple into the conversation."

"Sigurd! Keep your mouth shut!" Lagertha glares at him for several long seconds then her face softens as she looks at Hvitserk, placing a hand on his shoulder. "What are you trying to say, Hvitserk? Do you think this cane belongs to your baby brother?"

Hvitserk nods. "I know it does, actually."

"Come on, Hvit, you're talking nonsense. It cannot be, it just cannot. That guy was standing. It wasn't our brother. Our brother wasn't there last night." Ubbe stubbornly insists, but Hvitserk just shakes his head.

"Of course, he was. I saw him. And don't bullshit me, Ubbe, you saw him too. With Y/N." Hvitserk states. That's when you realize that your palms are sweating and your pulse is racing.

Hvitserk keeps going, now speaking to his guardian. "I know what I saw, Lagertha. It was him. I don't know how, but he was standing, Ubbe is right. He was even walking. It may sound weird but I swear, it was him."

Lagertha nods. "I believe you, Hvitserk." A beaming smile spreads across her lips and she tilts her head. "I wouldn't be surprised if Floki had something to do with such a miracle. Go get your brother, Hvitserk, please."

Your heart leaps at these words, you're barely able to contain your excitement and as you let out a nervous chuckle, you cannot help but jump for joy. Needless to say, Ubbe and Sigurd seem much less enthusiastic than you.

***

Reluctantly following his brother, Ivar mutters under his breath, "you're pissing me off, Hvit. I'm fucking not in the mood for whatever you have in mind."

Hvitserk pays him no mind though, a small smile dancing on his lips. "Trust me, baby bro, you'll be in the mood."

Ivar wants to protest, or maybe just turn around and wheel back to his room but all at once the sound of your voice reaches his ears and he stops, frozen in place, his eyes wide open. He may have stopped breathing.

Patting his shoulder reassuringly, Hvitserk whispers, "It's Y/N, baby bro, but I have a feeling you already know. She's here for you, she was looking for you, Ivar. Go..." before giving a single push to his brother's wheelchair, his right hand on the backrest.

Ivar honestly doesn't know how he manages to wheel himself into the living room. What he does know, however, is that you're suddenly standing right in front of him. The heart stopping smile you flash him blows all the air out of his lungs, his heart pounding wildly in his chest, and the outside world – Lagertha, his brothers, Harald – ceases to exist.

A little voice tells him he should be feeling self-conscious with his hair all messy and wearing worn sweatpants, but he can't bring himself to care, not when you kneel in front of him with stars in your eyes.

"Here you are, finally," you breathe, gently placing a hand on his knee. Ivar didn't know until now that one could die of happiness, but that's exactly what he's feeling and he wouldn't trade it for anything.

Swallowing, he blinks several times. When he speaks, his voice trembles, his bottom lip quivering. "Hello Y/N, you were... looking for... for me?" He has trouble getting the words out, his nervous fingers fidgeting on his lap.

Grabbing both his hands in yours, you nod, your thumbs stroking his knuckles tenderly. "I was, yes, and for a very long time."

Shyly lowering his head, Ivar, almost feeling dizzy, can't wrap his head around your words. They're just too good to be true. "But... why?"

"Why?" You giggle, your laughing eyes lighting up your face, and he's positive, you're even more beautiful like this. "Isn't it obvious? I want to know more about you, what's your favorite color, what you eat for breakfast, where you see yourself in ten years. I just want to spend time with you, Ivar."

'Ivar' You've just said his name and it's like the sweetest music to his ears. He can't believe it. Wow. "You... You recognized me?" There's so much hope and joy in his voice, he cringes.

You shrug, your smile never leaving your lips. "I wasn't sure at first. You've changed a lot." Your hand cups his cheek. The sensation on his skin is so overwhelming he has to hold back the tears threatening to gush. Yet, he can't help but think you're speaking about his legs.

He grits his teeth. "Yeah... Standing tall can change a man."

"No! no, no, no," you retort without missing a beat, "That's not what I meant. In my memory you still looked like you did when we were ten, but look at you now, all grown up! Your hair was so short back then." Reaching out, you brush a strand of hair back and tuck it behind his ear before letting your fingers run slowly down and up his bulging biceps, your hand finally lingering on his forearm, "Plus, you clearly work out a lot. So, yeah, I thought it was you, but I wasn't sure. When we were dancing last night, I thought I'd ask you right after, but then you left and... well... I didn't have a chance..."

Ivar wraps his fingers around yours, a frown creasing his forehead. "About that, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left like–"

You shush him, holding a finger to his lips. "It doesn't matter, Ivar. You don't have to explain. All that matters is that I found you." Standing up, you lean forward and gently kiss his cheek and he feels like he's floating. Intertwining his fingers with yours, you whisper in his ear, "I reckon we got some lost time to make up, you and me. Can we go stargazing now?"

Hearing this makes Ivar's insides turn to jelly. Barely able to think, he is on cloud nine and wishes with all his heart never to come back down to earth again. But despite the daze, despite the fog in his head, despite the blinding happiness, he knows one thing: no matter how many stars he sees, you'll be the brightest one.

"Yes, Y/N, you're right," bringing your hand to his mouth, he gives it a kiss, "let's go stargazing."

And as he leaves the room, you walking alongside him with your hand on his shoulder, his heart filled with joy and wonder, he doesn't miss the thumbs up Hvitserk gives him, nor the scowl on Ubbe's and Sigurd's faces.

For a fleeting second, he thinks he should – he could – taunt them. They deserve to be laughed at, don't they? But then, he realizes he doesn't have time for that. The time for happiness has come, and it's far more important.

Giving you a beaming smile, Ivar inhales deeply before releasing a sigh of satisfaction. Yeah. Happiness. Happiness sounds good.

🛡⚔️🛡

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[dreamiesdotcom]

february spring | h.rj

genre: hanahaki!au, angst, fluff

trigger warning: character death

summary: You wonder what he'll do when he realizes you no longer cough petals, but flowers in full bloom — that inside you is a full blown spring, within a body that exists in winter.

word count: 2.7k

The thing about flowers is that they suck.

Today again you wake up coughing petals and blood, feeling like wanting to burn the world and then your damned feelings — but no, you think, you'd rather not have life at all if you're not in love with him. You'd choose him again and again if asked.

That's the stupid thing about it. You're so willing to hurt and to be hurt for love that made flowers grow inside you.

Your mom is crying at the foot of your bed, praying for it all to be gone; the petals, the blood, the disease you have to fight because you fell for the wrong person. Your dad turned around to face the wall, tears in his eyes. He wants you to be better. He needs you to be better, and he needs to be strong so you could fight.

It's useless, anyway.

"This could end in three ways," you remember your doctor saying. "Either he loves you back, you take the surgery, or you die."

And you know what that means? That no amount of strength, of happiness, will keep you alive. It's impossible for him to love you back. You're dying. There's flowers growing inside you and you're dying — dying in the most beautiful way; dying of love.

Of stupid love, but you disregard that.

"Mom," you call. "I don't want the surgery."

"You want to die?" She asks with a laugh, "You want to die for a boy who doesn't even know of your love?"

"Y/N," your dad calls, a warning.

"Please don't make me go through it," you close your eyes. "I don't want to forget him. I don't want to forget love."

Because it's all I have, you wanted to say. Love is the one thing worth having, and you can't imagine yourself after the surgery; you'll get your emotions removed alongside the flowers in both your lungs and heart. You can't imagine that.

It's not even about him anymore. It's—

"Mom, please," you beg, "I don't... I don't want to live in a world where I wouldn't be able to live and love. I don't want to live not loving you and dad."

Because what is a human without love, emotions? An empty vessel. A withering rose. Something to stare at emptily as slowly, they begin to die.

Tears well in your mother's eyes, shaking her head, repeating the same words again and again — "I hate him, I hate him, I hate him" — but you made up your mind. You're dying, but before that you're gonna live —

you're gonna live, and this time not for him anymore; for yourself. For yourself too.

Even though life with this disease is limited to this hospital, the window and the rooftop, it is life still — this sickness made you cherish all the little things you'll lose when your body loses warmth. On some days you play with the kids, young hearts running around not really understanding their situations.

You put a smile on your face after everytime you throw up — you hide away somewhere no one would see, you hide yourself. You want to live. If you want to live, there's no need to be pitied.

At night, before you need to go to your room, you go to the rooftop and meet with a friend; Huang Renjun, same case. His heart longs for the stars, the moon, and a boy who is and will always be happier with someone else.

Tonight again, you stargaze.

"Imagine what we'll be if we weren't like this," he wonders out loud, "You'd still be annoying."

You kick his foot lightly, making him laugh, "See? You're sick and annoying. If you weren't sick, you'd be even more annoying!"

You turn to face him, and a fond smile is on his face, "You'd be beautiful still, even more without the tiredness in your eyes."

"And you'd still be handsome, Renjun," you find yourself saying, "You'd still love books and poetry, and stars..."

"But your smile wouldn't be so sad," he continues, pointing to Sirius, tracing the entire constellation as if the stars are right before his fingertips. "Your smile would be open and honest, not just something to comfort me."

You smile wistfully. He rolls around to pin you down, his hands on your wrists, a smile of his own on his face. It's something silly, kind of cheeky — typical Renjun.

"You're my only friend, Y/N," he confesses. "And I hate him. I hate the boy who made you sick."

Tears start to fall from his eyes, leaving him shaking. His arms still pin you to the ground, his tears falling on your face. He sobs. He sobs and sobs and my god, he still looks beautiful — Sirius rests on the space where his neck and shoulders meet. Galaxies are in his eyes.

He looked beautiful, so beautiful that you didn't have the heart to tell him that it's him. There's no other boy but him.

###

I wonder when he'll notice...

February cold engulfs you in its hold, making you shiver. Renjun walks beside you. It's a silent trip to the rooftop, snow falling in beautiful flakes. He takes notice in your silence.

I wonder when he'll ask if I love him...

"Are you okay?" Renjun asks, shoulder brushing against yours.

You smile at him, "I'm fine. I'm just a little cold."

Time is running out...

"Renjun," you call out his name, "Do you think you could ever fall in love with me?"

He looks at you as if you said something absurd. He laughed, he laughed until he coughed blood and petals — you stop in panic, rubbing his back.

"I think the cold is doing us no good," you say. "Let's head inside."

Was it really that impossible for you to fall in love with me?

"No, no, I'm fine." He wipes the blood off his lips, "See?"

Scary as it seems, the petals have become usual visitors for patient with Hanahaki. It doesn't even bother Renjun anymore at this point.

He'll have the surgery and get better — just a little more, he said, let me feel this love for a little more, because after the surgery I know I never will love again.

The petals don't shake him anymore. There's a cure, after all. A cure you keep denying yourself.

"Alright, let's go."

You resume walking, looking straight ahead. The sun is setting as a white sunset.

You wonder what he'll do when he realizes you no longer cough petals, but flowers in full bloom — that inside you is a full blown spring, within a body that exists in winter.

###

"Happy Birthday to you~ happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, happy birthday..."

You look at Renjun's room, meeting gazes with Lee Jeno. You smile and look away.

Renjun has told you the story of three best friends.

Jaemin and Jeno are his regular visitors. Whenever they come, there's a spark in Renjun's eyes — the glint of sadness, the look of yearning for love like theirs. You know. You pass by his door everytime.

You know, too, that he's still in love with Na Jaemin.

Whenever they come by, they bring him flowers — you laugh, because Renjun has enough of those blooming inside him. They bring him food to eat, bring him gifts, but there's no love for him in that space. Jaemin and Jeno's love are solely for each other, and Renjun wants that selfishness too; he wants Jaemin's love all to himself. It's what planted those seeds.

Whenever they come, Renjun wallows in envy and self pity and sadness, sadness because it breaks his heart that seeing them both so happy hurts him. Whenever they come, you battle yourself to not yell at them and make them leave and tell them they're not of any help, not helping him feel better — Renjun's life is just as limited as yours. He has counted seconds and all they do is make him realize what a fool he was to fall for someone he'll never have.

Whenever they leave, they leave a hole in his heart — it only grows bigger and bigger with every visit, with every goodbye. Renjun must be a fool.

But he'll have it, the surgery. He wants to live that much, that even though it will be impossible for him to feel love, he'll still search for happiness.

And that's how you know it.

You're dying.

In silence, you break down and whisper your greetings: Happy birthday, Renjun.

###

Renjun sits across you, holding the flowers Na Jaemin has given him. He plucks them once — he loves me. The sun is hidden away by the clouds, and his gaze that once were on you flutters across the room, back to where Jaemin stands. He plucks another petal — he loves me not.

Jaemin looks back to your direction, and waves. You're sure it made Renjun's heart flutter.

"You're the infamous Y/N," Jaemin grins. "I hope we can be good friends."

"Before I die, that is," you joke, earning a smack from Renjun. The stem of the flower hits the back of your head.

He loves me.

"Jaemin, where's Jeno?" Renjun asks, curious. There's no sight of honey haired boy and it's a strange sight, but you know deep inside he is pleased.

He loves me not.

"He's busy today."

"As he is every day?"

"C'mon, Renjun," Jaemin laughs. "It's not like he never gives me time."

Renjun shakes his head anyway. He releases a big sigh, calming himself down — deep inside he knows he can love Jaemin better. A pained look flashes in your eyes.

Renjun taps your thigh in concern.

He loves me.

"I need to go, 'jun," Jaemin says, taking his belongings with him. He runs straight to the door, but before that he turns around and waves.

When Jaemin leaves the room, Renjun looks like he just fell in love. Again.

A bitter smile draws on your face.

He loves me not.

###

The day of Renjun's surgery came quicker than expected. The explanation was simple; he can never feel love again, but he will survive. He will be alive and that's what matters.

It's a sad thought, living without love. But Renjun would rather not love than not live at all.

"It's tomorrow," he said. "You should take care."

You don't meet his gaze.

"I'm tired, Renjun," you whisper, clutching his shirt to pull him impossibly closer.

A smile draws on his face, a beautiful sight to look at.

He asks, "Tired of what?"

And you've been tired of a lot of things. You tried not being so, but you can't help but fail miserably — lately everything's just been too much. Most of them, though; thoughts like this, like the truth that spills from your mouth.

"Of the flowers growing inside me," you say wistfully, "I'm tired of it and I hate it. I hate it so much."

"Y/N..."

"And I'm tired of you too, of you looking at me with those eyes," you turn to face Renjun who sits with his head hung low. You let a chuckle escape your lips, "Those eyes that look at me as if you could love me had you not met Jaemin."

Renjun couldn't say a word.

You feel yourself withering away as more flowers bloom inside you.

###

Renjun left right after he recovered from the surgery, the nurses said. You stay in your bed all those time, not bidding him goodbye at all. You throw up more flowers than usual, more blood.

All the promises you made about living life before you die is gone. All you can think about is how difficult it is to breathe, how hard it is to live.

"Mom," you call, hoping for ease, "I want to give up."

But she smiles with tears in her eyes, she smiles. You see, she had the most beautiful smile in the world. Her eyes are brimming with unshed tears and her lips stretched in a pitiful expression, "No, darling," she begs. "Stay awake. Stay awake for me."

You smile back.

"It hurts to breathe."

"It will be okay," at least she prays. "It's gonna be okay. Go through with the surgery."

You shake your head, declining still. Time is running out. Your father hugs you tight, the first time in years, a kiss pressed on your temple. Your mother holds your hand.

I don't want to, you repeat again and again.

Your father holds your hand — "We'll do what you want."

And there's a protest at the tip of your mother's tongue, but it melts away at the sight of tears falling from your eyes.

"Okay, sweetie," she says. "We'll do what you want."

Your doctor comes in a hurry minutes after. He's panting, a red flush on his face — he seems mad. "How long has it been?"

"Doctor..."

"You didn't tell us you were coughing out whole flowers."

Your mother's cries start to get louder. Full flowers meant the last stage: the closest to death. At this point it's a game between life and death and the dangers in between. You smile.

"I'm sorry," you whisper, "But I'm not going through the surgery, doctor."

They look at you with eyes of pity, saddened that it has come to this. Your doctor nods. Your mother shakes in your father's hold. You laugh, "Why are you all crying?"

"Stupid child," your mother says. "Stupid Y/N."

You laugh harder, tears falling from your eyes. "I love you, mom," you say. "Can you hold my hand tighter? I'm scared."

From outside your door, Renjun clamps his hand over his mouth; he feels like throwing up. He originally planned to say one last goodbye, but instead, he gets this... this. Whatever the hell this mess is.

You're dying, all because you're in love with him.

All because he couldn't love you back.

###

The time comes quicker than expected.

You look at your body, watching from your soul — this must be what it is like to be have your soul wandering. You breathe in sharply, breathe out. You look at all the tubes connected to your body.

You go through the wall, moving to hug your parents. Your mother must've felt you, for her sobs grew louder and she called your name.

Suddenly, someone storms in.

"Doctor, it seems like you have an emergency patient," the nurse intervenes.

"Who's the patient?"

"Huang Renjun."

Your feel your heart drop — who knew you could still feel such things? But Renjun, didn't he...

"Renjun? Didn't he have a successful surgery?"

"Yes," the nurse looks down in shame, "But it seems there's remains of flowers in his lungs. He's now coughing out flowers in full-bloom."

The doctor rushes out of the room, saying excuses to your parents. You watch your own body breathe its last breath.

The nurse looks down, "Y/L/N Y/N, time of death, 10:48 a.m."

You wander around the hospital, going to where your feet take you. You soon find yourself in the emergency room, watching Renjun almost pass out from coughing flowers.

"Renjun," you call — the ghost of you, your soul. The one Renjun sees.

He looks in panic, knowing why he's seeing you; he's ready to die. What he's not ready for is to see you as a soul, dead and eternally young.

He blinks once, twice, hoping you don't disappear. It's not all truthful words, but he says it — "I love you."

Outside the room, Renjun's parents wonder to themselves — who is he talking to? What is he mumbling? His parents can't help but cry, worried at every flutter of his eyes.

"They say... when people are almost dying, their closest family visit them to take them to paradise." Jaemin says with a bitter smile, "I heard... Y/N passed. He might be seeing her."

A slap sounds in the room.

"My son is not dying!" Renjun's mother says. Jaemin nods, tears falling from his eyes.

"Are you scared?" you ask, head tilted, hands brushing strands of his hair away from his face.

"Yes," Renjun confesses.

"I'll hold your hand."

"Until it's over?"

You smile, "You're one of my greatest friend, after all."

Renjun never expected to die. Then, at the same time, he never expected the tiny sliver of love he feels for you — love for a friend, for a dear one. Renjun found a real best friend within you.

So, he holds your hands and comes with you.

"Doctor? Doctor, what's happening— my son!" His mother calls as he watches his eyelids close, "Renjun... My little boy..."

One last smile, one last cough of his favorite flower — Renjun is at peace. He closes his eyes and remains his age forever.

"Huang Renjun, time of death, 10:52 a.m."