#(but yeah that's why there's more multiple variations for this set and also I DO NOT HAVE A FAIRYMON TRANSPARENT YET)

[libraryofbronze]

Framework of a Sex Scene, Or How To Frame and Plan a Lewd Story

So, welcome back to How To Write a Sex Scene. I’m sure you’re all wondering where I was. Well, I was abducted by aliens and had to fight in a giant gladiator pit on Mars. But it’s all okay because I got a fucking awesome sword and was declared queen of the moon people. But that’s another story. 

Or maybe I just got busy and didn’t have time to update for a bit. Your choice, but I prefer the more exciting option!

Anyway now that we’ve covered Mechanical and Emotive writing, you have a basic framework for how to write your sex scene. Don’t worry if you’re not confident with them yet. That’s natural, they can be subtle and it genuinely takes a lot of repetition before you really pin them down.

Today, we’re going to take one step further. Now you know the method, we’re talking framework. Specifically, how to format a sex scene. 

‘’But Bronze,’’ I hear you say, ‘’You just write what you think is sexy, don’t you? That’s how a sex scene works!’’

Well, yes and no. That can work and is the natural way that most people start. But one thing I have learned is that most people have a certain cadence, I guess? A certain series of things they like and given no other restriction, they’ll tend to loop back to it again and again. So writing that sex scene once may be fun! Twice, okay, yeah, you can spice it up. Three times? Four times? Eventually, you’re going to start realising you’re writing the same scene with minor variations. 

Not only this, but if you want your sex scenes to have variety and contribute to your plot as well, setting out some kind of formatting may be a smart idea.  So let’s start with the basics: 

Sex vs Plot 

People are here for the sex. That’s a given. That’s why you’re reading this right now. But humans also like a story, we like to see things develop and evolve. We’re naturally story-tellers and we enjoy it when a scene engages us on multiple levels. 

That means that while your sex scene should focus on the sex, if you get the chance, you should show other things as you do! And I don’t mean to break up the action with random cut-aways. You want to make it natural, so it adds instead of detracts.  

Ideally, what you want to do is use your scene to show, solidify or reveal something new about your characters or world. It doesn’t have to be a lot. It doesn’t have to be some big revelation, but feeling as if they’ve learned something new helps readers to enjoy it more. 

Let me give you some examples of what I’ve done on various commissions. Again, most of these are low key, not beating it in your face. Many people will never even realise this is what you did, but that’s okay. 

For a character who was abandoned by his father and family, I decided to make him dominant in the bedroom. Because that’s hot, yes, but there was more to it. As the scene went o, I built up the fact that it was because he wanted to feel needed. He wanted to feel wanted, so he wanted his sub to beg for him, to tell him how much she needed his cock, loved his touch, how much she enjoyed being with him.

This was all spiced together with typical bondage stuff - ropes, cuffs, punishments, insults and degradation towards her - but the core of the issue was that I was using the scene to show that he was, well, empty. Trying to make up for how he felt by basking in the affection of his sub but ultimately unable to do so because he wouldn’t acknowledge to himself what his problem  was.

Of course, I didn’t spill that to the reader. But a smart reader will notice how he often puts himself in a position to be praised, how he goads her into saying things like that, how it seems to matter to him just as much as the sex itself. 

And with that, we learn more about our character and what matters to him, as well as the kind of issues the story will be about him solving. (He’s lonely, he’s afraid to reach out because he was abandoned. He is naturally dominant, but uses it as a shield and a mask. He’s scared to be genuine even if it would get him the praise he wants because what if she turned away?) 

In my free ebook, The Curious Case of Richard Gearheart, the sex scenes are used to provide emotional closure. While they are hot and very fun, the ones between Richard and Kara - the main characters - are also used to display their trust for one another. 

Again, bondage comes into this, but Kara is actually the one who is more into it at first. She’s the sub and Richard is initially reluctant because of the situation around her. She was trafficked as a sex slave, brainwashed, and programmed to act to please her betters. At first, he worries he’s taking advantage of her and even she isn’t totally sure. But over time, their scenes get more wild as they begin to trust one another, and you can see the reluctance melting away. You can actually measure their relationship growing by how much they are willing to do together. 

In this case, what’s being told on the down-low is the personality of both characters and their bond. Richard styles himself as a mercenary, and the sort of guy who will shoot you in the back the moment it’s useful for him. The first few sex scenes are our initial indication that maybe this isn’t totally the case. After all, a guy like that wouldn’t be reluctant to take advantage of a woman at all. Especially one who seems willing!

For Kara, it goes a bit deeper. Her inner turmoil and struggle between wanting sex and being afraid that she is just programmed to seek it out is a key part of her character, though it’s never mentioned directly. Outwardly, she plays the fun, sexy tease, but it’s only through her words and actions when she’s most vulnerable that she lets herself be seen. Most of these scenes are sex scenes because that’s when she’s able to drop her guard.

It’s not a lot. She doesn’t have a ton of speeches or anything. But small words, small gestures. How she reacts, what exactly she says, what she offers and how far she goes. All of those paint a picture for her mental state and show her growing relationship with Richard. 

The point of this bonding is so that later in the book, when that relationship is threatened, you care. You’ve seen them together, you’ve seen them happy. Now that’s threatened.

More than this, the intimacy and trust between Richard and Kara during their consensual bondage scenes means that later, when Kara has noncon scenes with her rival and captor, you can see the difference. It helps to highlight how much the first thing mattered to her. 

I could go on. I have a bunch more examples from previous work. Even work I’ve posted here! But I don’t really feel like you guys need beaten over the head with the concept. You get what I am talking about. 

Does this mean there’s no real reason to use mindless sex scenes with going deeper? Well, no. Those also have their place. Sometimes you don’t want to do a dive into a character, or you want a hot scene without too much thinking required. In those cases, springing for a mindless sex scene absolutely makes sense. 

Just always be aware of your options here. Choose the best one for what you want to do. Do you have a bunch of space and your character could use some extra depth? Consider using your scene to further solidify them to your readers. 

Building a Framework 

So now we know why we might want to do it. How do we actually build a framework? Well, it’s honestly pretty simple and easy. IMO, it’s something every commissioned writer in particular should know how to do. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good for every writer to know, but for us specifically, it’s a godsend. 

This is because we write a lot of sex scenes. Like, a lot. And you can’t always promise that you’ll be in the mood or want to write them when you have to. The client has paid, after all. That means their work takes priority over most other things. You gotta respect that and you gotta respect that someone trusts your skills enough to give you actual, real money to give them a fantasy. And this means that sometimes, even if you really want or, or you’re not feeling it, or your life is hell, or you’re sick, well, you gotta sit down and write that hot scene. 

During such times, you’ll have low energy. Little motivation. You won’t want to do it and even simple shit becomes impossibly difficult. Writing as a job is genuinely hard at times, even though I love it. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s just easy sailing and pouring our words from a magic bottle. 

So, how do we deal with this? Well, that’s where frameworks come in. A framework serves as a guide, helping you to orient and navigate yourself through a work even if your natural feel for it is disrupted such as by lack of motivation. By using your framework, you can maintain your pace and momentum, avoid getting distracted and still produce quality writing even when you’re just not feeling it. 

Note, frameworks work for most kinds of writing, not just erotic stuff. So what I am about to teach you here can be applied universally. I’m just talking about it in a lewd comment because, well, look where we are. 

Here is how you make a framework. Sit down, think about what you want to write. Now, you don’t want to go too in-depth here. There’s a such thing as distracting yourself from writing by planning about writing. So keep it vague. Outline roughly what you want to happen. 

Here is an example: 

Framework:  Lost Bet Story -Cynthia loses bet to Derrick 

-Has to strip for him, pose, masturbate, 

-has to follow humiliating commands.

-He tells her that he’s going to make a video, she begs him not to. He decides to do it anyway. 

-She cums during it, and is forced to spread herself so everyone can see how wet she is. 

This is a simple framework. Extremely so. Most of you have probably seen one like this or done one like this. 

Here is how it works. You can see it reduces the scene into a series of bullet points to be hit. This is to help your navigation and motivation. Because of this, you can see just how close you are to finishing the scene, you can see what progress you are making as you move through the list, and you can time and pace yourself properly so you will always know roughly how much there is to do. 

By sketching out things in advance like this, you’re not relying on your creativity in the moment. This means that energy and brainpower can instead be used to write the scene itself. Which isn’t to say that spontaneity doesn’t have a place! Let me tell you a secret. I would probably change a bunch of those bullet points as I wrote. They’re a guide, not a requirement! Once you get to one, if it’s not working for you or you can think of something better? Shift it! Change it! Twist it into what you want it to be. 

The point of a framework is just so that you have SOMETHING there you can draw upon. It’s exactly what its name implies: a frame for you to build off. Its sole and only purpose is a navigation tool to help you control the flow of your work and the pacing. Don’t treat it as ironclad law because if you do, your story will feel lifeless and dead. Just run with the general feeling, use it when it’s good, change it when it’s not, don’t be afraid to deviate, but when you don’t have any ideas, it’ll be there to give you a helping hand. 

Now, that framework I showed is a very basic and simple one. The sort of frame I’d use if I was hired to write a short, erotic scene without much else to it. Usually, they’d look more like this: -Cynthia and Derrick make a bet. Derrick’s always had a crush on her and this is his chance. 

-Figure out what kind of bet it is. Maybe have him cheat? Add drama. 

-Derrick wins, Cynthia is suspicious, but he talks her out of it somehow. (Maybe using past history? Implying she’s a coward? How manipulative do I want him?) 

-Derrick orders Cynthia to strip, commenting that he’s wanted to see her naked for years, ever since she was the girl next door. She does it reluctantly. Big focus on embarrassment. 

-Cynthia taunts Derrick, makes him angry. He decides he’s going to make a video to punish her. She begs him not to and he is torn, but his horny side wins over. After all, as long as he doesn’t share it, it’s fine, right?

-Cynthia is forced to masturbate, to cum on camera, she uses a dildo, her fingers, and even is forced to grind against a table to humiliate her further. Despite her words, she’s very aroused. 

-Derrick starts to get a bit suspicious. He realises that every time he tried to go easy on her, she taunted him into going harder. Maybe the loss wasn’t as unintentional as he thought? 

-Scene ends with Cynthia worshipping Derrick’s cock, and even though he enjoys it a ton, he figures he probably just got played and is going to have to get her back. But how can he get back a masochistic little slut like this? 

And there you go. This is actually the sort of framework I’d use for one of my smashwords books. You can see it’s more in-depth, but it works by the same principles. I’ve created a series of points to hit, as well as options, possibilities and thoughts that I could use or discard when I get to that point. Thanks to this, I have a vague idea of where I am going at all times and what I am aiming for. That means in turn that I’m not stumbling in the dark, which helps maintain motivation, pacing and generally make you feel like you’re accomplishing more. 

And that’s how frameworks operate! Even if you end up not using it, I’d advise anyone who wants to write erotic scenes to give it a shot. It really can help a lot, especially when you’re on a time crunch, you need to motivate yourself, and you’re staring at a blank page that needs to be filled.

[sophieinwonderland]

I've sent a copy of this to you and sysmedsaresexist, so that they can perhaps confirm that I'm on the right track and I'm hoping I can offer a different set of thoughts??

I don't think they (anti endos in general and sysmedsaresexist) are saying that Freud said *systems* are endogenic. I think the point is that Freud said trauma, dissociation, and whatever MPD fell under at the time (hysteria, I think) was endogenic.

The symptoms were endogenic, the causes were endogenic, the experience was endogenic, so systems not based in trauma and dissociation using the word is considered a bit... Off taste, I think is what they're saying.

The OSDDID community and dedicated researchers have worked really hard to prove that OSDDID ARE disorders based in trauma (whether that's the full truth or not), not fantasy or "endogenously" (or whatever related version of the word) created so I feel like I can believe and can understand why they might say acknowledging that connection would be nice.

This has sat in my drafts for a while, so with this discourse apparently coming back, I figured it was time to get to it.

(Yeah, no. I edited this draft and added that line when the discourse came up again, but STILL didn't finish it. Okay, doing it now! 🤣)

The thing is, I get that they aren't saying Freud only said this about systems... but Freud didn't even say that word.

Are we discussing the same word?

First, when it comes to harmful terms, generally the specific word is what's contentious. Many contentious terms and slurs are variations of neutral terms, and it's the usage and history what makes them harmful.

In this case, "endogenic" was not used by Freud. A German word was. And that word would more commonly translate to endogenous rather than endogenic.

And "endogenous" is primarily the term cited in the other cited papers. If the term endogenic was ever used at all in reference to systems before 2014, I haven't been able to find any evidence of that.

It doesn't make sense to say endogenic is a harmful term even if endogenous was. But that itself is a pretty big if because...

Endogenous is a generic descriptive term.

Yes, endogenous was used in some papers to refer to DID being caused from something internal rather than external. It's also used in the same exact way to refer to Schizophrenia and other illnesses having internal causes.

The word itself doesn't have some unique or special connection to DID.

At best, you could say that the term might be harmful in cases where it's misapplied. Saying that a system formed from trauma has an endogenous origin could be harmful in a similar way to, say, misgendering a woman as a man or vice versa. Neither man nor woman are harmful words but can be harmful if applied to people they don't describe.

But in the case of many endogenic systems, like cases of Schizophrenia and other health conditions or applicable neurodivergences, the descriptive term is accurate.

A system that was plural due to genetics, for instance, would be objectively endogenous.

It's an objective, neutral descriptor. And only one of a great many that was used this way.

Other papers don't use the word endogenous at all and just say DID had an internal cause. So is that off-limits too? Can we not use "intenal" in relation to systems? And if not, is there an acceptable way to express this at all that wouldn’t be twisted into something those trying to hurt the endogenic community will feign offense over?

Because if you're intentionally seeking out any instance of a word's prefixes or suffixes ever being used in a sentence in a way that could be considered harmful, in any language, you'll find a lot of words you can twist into an offensive term.

This Has Happened Before

Endogenic came about because the previous term, "natural multiple," was said to be offensive because it implied traumagenic systems were "unnatural." People pushing this argued that traumagenic systems were natural responses to trauma, and this was therefore offensive.

In my opinion, this was a bad faith interpretation when "natural" was likely meant to contrast systems forming from environmental factors, as in a nature vs nurture debate. A natural response to external factors is not the same as something being natural in this context. (Of course, this is kind of muddled when you have systems that are created or have supernatural origins. It's not a great term.)

Also, natural doesn't inherently imply something is good or bad.

But "natural" being a bad word caught on and there was a push to change terms. The word changed to endogenic in 2014, which had never been used for systems before. EVER. Then in 2021, along comes an anti-endo trying to attack endogenic systems who decides endogenic is actually an offensive term because Freud once used a German word that sounds kind of similar.

This Will Happen Again

If you humor bad faith arguments like this, it only emboldens them. If we changed our language again, it's pretty inevitable someone would claim whatever term we use is bad.

I mean, we see with the system hopping libel that they'll even resort to just making stuff up if they have to.

This IS a bad faith argument, and the best response is to treat it as such.

[jaynovz]

for the fanfic ask game: what work of yours do you feel is the most underappreciated/do you wish got more attention? could we have a small sample of a bit you like?

Okay I thought about this for a long time, cuz I WANTED to say the FlintMadi series or maybe hanahaki or petplay ot4. honorable mentions lol.

But I think the True answer is the John Silver backstory aka a stained glass variation of the truth.

I knew when writing it that like maybe a handful of ppl were EVER gonna engage with this for multiple stacking reasons: the dark subject matter, the underage archive warning, the huge amount of OCs, the Silver/OMC. Lotta death knells for readership lol

but guys I'm SO fucking proud of it and I've read basically every other Silver backstory and mine sort of stands alone in being the most extensive and focused example, by which I mean it doesn't venture into canon events, it tells its own story and is a true prequel (perhaps another death knell lmao) but yeah I'm just really proudddddddddddddd of that okay, I did SO MUCH historical research and historical WRITING isn't my strong suit but I killed it

oh also just to like, clarify, I subscribe to the "all and none" Silver backstory mindset. Meaning that, anything we can dream up could be correct and also there's no answer, these facts exist in my mind simultaneously. What they did in the show, leaving it up to the viewer, leaving it implicit? Yeah that was some fucking MASTERCRAFT and I don't mean to say that one *needs* a Silver backstory per se.

So yeah me writing it wasn't some be-all-end-all statement, but it Was an intensive character study exercise for why I thought he might turn out the way he did.

Anyway, I do not expect this answer to get literally anyone who hasn't already read it to check it out but there it is! thank you for asking <3

and yes here's your excerpt--

The voice John knew well raged inside--venomous, accusing.

Weak. He had to rescue you because you are weak. And now he’s dead. Just like everyone else.

Belatedly, John realized Solomon had been his friend. He had cared about John beyond his usefulness or their alliance. For as skilled as he was at reading people, sussing out their wants, their needs, their tells like the hidden flesh in a mollusc… John had utterly misread Solomon. In the moment, it had seemed so clear-cut, but in retrospect...

He remembered months spent joking warmly, sharing the toil, taking meals together, playing cards, privately mocking the worst of the crew, and telling lie after extravagant lie to one-up each other. They’d been set apart from the other boys, both too clever by half, opportunists who understood each other almost too well. Solomon was always teaching John--how to scale the rigging, the nautical knots, the best hiding places on a ship. He remembered the easy affection the older boy had expressed and the wedge it had driven between them, that John had put there. The recollection pained him and he slapped the side of the ship in anger. As usual, John was too late to recognize and appreciate anything good.

No. A rational voice pushed back. Solomon was a fool.

A mistake. It was a mistake to care about him, it was a mistake to care about anyone but yourself. Solomon had cared about John and what had been his reward? To die, to be forgotten, to be filled up with water and subsumed into the abyss.

In the end, boys like John, like Solomon, mattered to no one. Not to the crew of this ship, nor to the ferocious, unknowable sea, nor to the machinations and fates of the larger world. Boys like them had to make their own safety--carve a spot for themselves by whatever means necessary, be it force or duplicity. He'd learned, many times over, that caring too much for the well-being of other people was wholly incompatible with this goal.

I won't make their mistakes.

The next day it was business as usual for the crew of the Bridgewater; the storm had calmed and they weighed anchor. The drunken man who'd attacked John went unpunished. Indeed the entire event went unremarked upon, as none of the other crew asked after the missing cabin boy.

John had a surreal sense of deja vu; again, it was as if it hadn’t happened at all.

And isn’t that easier? To let it fade into irrelevance?

The other boys eyed the empty spot next to John, but said nothing. They were meek shadows, poor beaten things, colorless compared to all that had been his friend. Numbly, he completed his daily chores, all too aware of the heaviness of the workload. That which used to be split, yoked over two sets of shoulders to lessen the burden, was now his responsibility alone.

Tom. Scrap. Ollie. Lizzie. Mary.

Solomon.

Despite his best efforts, it was yet another name he would try and fail to forget.

[anosci]

selected albums ive listened to in 2024

this year I'm just posting the highlights so itll be shorter

[1] [2]

January

1/ VHS Head - Phasia (2023) first new album of '24 for me! "Strange Food" that zap pew beat is a delight! title track is p good, floaty. "Phocus" this is very vaguely leaning into…funk? i really like it. possible highlight? wondering why it shares the title of a different album.

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4/ VA - FM Synth 2 (2017) yeah i love fm "Mach 5 Fusion Force X" is a god damn tour de force. insane! "Work Without Rules" second fav of mine for its smoov smoov swingy wobs

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7/ Skee Mask - C (2024) first 2024 album in the list! dusty, crispy, chillout. analogue. deep bass when needed, never too thick of a presence. delightful chillout music. at worst, its a bit varied, as if it were an anthology. probably because it is. highlight: "Bassline Dub"

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12/ (all OCRemix posts from 2017) all over the place ofc some insano selections: "Multi-track Drifting" N R G!!! "Big Room Gobi" funny but in a goes hard way also: Star Salzman's Katamari mix!!! i keep coming back to that in particular

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15/ VA - Adventure Time, Vol. 1-5 (2019) they have extended versions of some sc cuts!! "Party With the Chief" esp(!) the biggest thing I noticed overall: this soundtrack is so…wack. meandering. ADHD in control of a quirky ensemble. continually amazed that this's from a hit show

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16/ Diverse System - JAPAN 2 (2023) a mostly rly good grab bag of bangers with a japan flavor! i adore the koto mixed in with tight electric beats. big big standouts with "灯火" !!! and the much more electric "Amatsu"

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17/ Patricia Taxxon - Bicycle (2024) laid back (mostly) textures n vibes. instant fav in "Frat Claws" and "I Do" specifically! i really like the FEEL within the sounds. i keep coming back to "Chipshop" and "Boys". visceral.

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23/ Aleksi Perälä - Starlight 1 (2018) surprisingly solid, albeit a bit all over the place much love for the smooth sounds of "UK74R1823040" much love for the stepfiltered "UK74R1823090" not as much a fan of the techno flavors this time but still!

it's hard to recommend this artist in general but ive been listening to a lot of AP music. just give those two highlights a try and see what you think.

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February

25/ BT - The Secret Language of Trees (2023) THE GOOD STUFF Producer's Cuts especially!!! "k-means clustering"……. the clicks in "Time Moves So Fast"…. if you ever wished ppl made more music from 2007, here it is. a return to the binary universe.

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40/ Tom Bragl - Regainable (2024) a few crunchy niceities, but just a few imo. "Klamra" f.ex. feels very 2007, which IS a delight. for anyone who wishes they made more music from 2007. here it is. funny it's marketed as "80s esque" lol. i hear it tho.

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43/ µ-ziq - 1977 (2023) mike has a very distinct style that stands out from a lot of his peers imo. i wasnt sure about this but the reverbed minimalist drum machine in tracks like "4am" and "Belt & Carpet" win me over. I think those two and the weirdly hazy house of "Houzz 13" are my favs. "4am" especially, with those ethereal (newage?) chopped vocals

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44/ Autechre - 2005-4-15 Glasgow (live set) apparently there are some old soundboard recordings laying around!!! this is super good. quaristice stuff. i love love love the multiple variations of chence9! the fast version of IO is rly good too. ez fav but still.

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March

47/ STAFFcirc vol. 9: MIDI MODULE FANATIX (2024) oh hell yes, midi AND rompler!!! "Thunder and Strawberry Wine" is otherworldly. i get how it was made but also. How? ooooghhh… "30 Domcaster St" delightful ooooghhh… "Cascade rev.2023" authentic zest "Yakumotatsu" god i love this trend of pushing msgs midi to the max "tunnel7_r35b" listen i love chimeratio and he brought his slapping

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57/ Fields Of Mist - Biospore Farmers (2024) try not to compare to boc challenge: impossible. it's lush damnit. but the perc is way way more analogue drummachine. its wall to wall good. that opening track would have blown my mind in 2007. they dont make it like that anymore, except i guess they do!

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60/ pilotredsun - Achievement (2016) an album misplaced in time. pristine early 00s bedroom musician vibes.

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[aprillikesthings]

The Legends of St. James the Greater [citation needed]

Because I'm doing the Camino de Santiago next spring, I've been reading stuff about St. James the Greater, because the stories around him are why the Camino exists in the first place.

And, oh my god, they're Something Else. Because nearly everything I read is either 1. extremely unlikely 2. kinda wince-inducing. at best.

I want to make it clear: I don't think it matters, at this point, how much of his post-Biblical legends are factually true, in regards to walking the Camino. People have been making sincere pilgrimages to Santiago de Compostela for so long that bits of him might as well be there, yeah? It's became a sacred place devoted to one of the first of Jesus' apostles whether his actual bones are there or not. Also, quite frankly, many of the legends aren't any more or less believable than anything in the Gospels themselves. Disclaimer over.

Things that were recorded soon enough after they supposedly happened that they are the likeliest to be true:

He was one of the first apostles of Jesus, along with his brother John. The two brothers (plus Peter) were witnesses to some of the more notable parts of Jesus' life and ministry. He was also the first apostle to be martyred; beheaded by sword on the order of Herod in 44 AD. (His beheading is in Acts 12:2, just one sentence: "He [Herod] had James, the brother of John, killed with the sword.")

After that...things get...weird.

Legend has it that he traveled all the way to what is modern-day Spain to preach the Gospel there, and that after he came back to Jerusalem and was beheaded, his body was miraculously taken by angels and set in a boat that washed up on the coast of Spain. During a wedding. Which spooked a horse and rider. Who fell into the ocean. And then emerged miraculously unharmed and covered in scallop shells...and that's part of why scallop shells are symbols of St. James and pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela. Yeah, okay.

"Oh thank God, I'm not lost." And yes, lots of people get some variation of this as a tattoo. (I know I probably will, ahaha.)

(That all said: there's an Armenian Apostolic Cathedral in Jerusalem that claims to have his head. So maybe the angels only took the rest of him. Who knows? Not me.)

At some point his relics were moved to the location of what is now Santiago de Compostela by some disciples of his (from his earlier visit to Spain? I think?), and the fact that the relics were there was revealed to a hermit by a field of stars in 814. He reported this to a bishop, who told the local king, who built a chapel on that site and is said to be the first pilgrim to Santiago. The chapel became a church in 829, the church was burned down by the Moors in 997, and in 1075 the king started building a cathedral there (it was finished in 1211). In the 900's pilgrims started arriving from all over Europe, and once the cathedral got started their numbers increased dramatically. Both St. Francis of Assisi and Margery Kempe did pilgrimages to Santiago, for instance. Margery did it multiple times, bless her.

But here's the thing: somehow nobody noticed the whole "his body is in Spain" thing until that hermit? And just coincidentally, this was a time when the Catholic church was trying to stamp out the remnants of a particularly popular heresy that had started in Spain. Just saying.

But wait, there's more!

Another thing that was happening in the 800's and for, y'know, a LONG time after (seriously it went on from 711 to 1492); was Christians and Muslim Moors fighting over Spain.

The Christians of Spain named St. James as their patron and protector, in part due his miraculous help in a battle that, uh, never actually happened. The date of the battle is given as 843 or 844, but somehow was never recorded until 300 years later. (Are you sensing a theme here, because I am.)

St. James is therefore sometimes portrayed as Santiago Matamoros, aka St. James the Moor-Slayer. A lot of medieval imagery of him portrays him on horseback, slaughtering people. 😬 Many of the old churches along the Camino include this portrayal--and some of those churches were originally mosques. Oof.

CAN IT GET WORSE? YES.

Look, I'm just going to copy/paste from the wikipedia page on this one: "The iconography of James Matamoros was used in the Spanish colonization of the Americas as a rival force to the indigenous gods, and protector of Spaniards from the indigenous peoples of the Americas. He was depicted as a conquistador."

I mean, thankfully; I won't run into much of that in Spain. But...euggghh.

Anyway.

I kinda feel bad for the actual James, who was just a fisherman working with his dad and brother before becoming one of Jesus' close friends. James was just A Guy! The other apostles apparently found him and his brother kind of annoying! He sometimes had a bad temper! The stories about him in the Gospels just make him sound so human.

There are two common portrayals of our man James all over the Camino: St. James the Moor-Slayer, and St. James as a pilgrim, wearing a floppy hat and robe and holding a walking stick. Much nicer.

Now that's a guy I'd walk across Spain for.

[vanessahernandez3d]

Blog #7 and #8: Yungblud's song 'Mars': Creating Affect + Representation

In this blog post I will analyze the song 'Mars' from the British artist Yungblud as well as its music video under the scope of Affect and Representation; how does it create emotional engagement and how effective is it? Is the representation presented in the video relevant? Can the lyrics of the song be a representation of a group by themselves?

How does Yungblud create emotional engagement with the song Mars and create affect in the audience?

Let's start by setting some context on who Yungblud is. Yungblud is a British singer and songwriter who has become known for his 'pop-punk-rap style, his politically inclined lyrics, and his rebellious personality'. (Rolling Stone, 2019) He's also very well known because of his openness about his sexuality and for always trying to create a community for the LGBT+ community and 'outsiders' to safely express themselves and be who they are. His songs are always about the struggles he has had throughout his life and the hardships he has encountered while trying to fit in into a society that was always trying to put him in a box. Because of how he pours himself into his music and is always very open and direct with his own experiences, Yungblud is an artist who very easily creates affect with his art, hence connecting with people.

As we learned during the seminars. affect is a very abstract concept; it is the 'capacity that something or someone has to affect or to be affected'. (Gregg and Seigworth 2009: 2) It is not an emotion per se, but rather an energy or an intensity.

'Affect is found in those intensities that pass body to body (human, nonhuman, part-body, and otherwise), in those resonances that circulate about, between, and sometimes stick to bodies and worlds, and in the very passages or variations between these intensities and resonances themselves' (Gregg and Seigworth 2009: 1)

So, how does Yungblud emotionally engage with his audience through his song 'Mars' and its music video? Let's get into what the song is about. This song talks about feeling like you don't fit in or belong anywhere and that you are just a weirdo to society. Especially this is a song for the LGBT+ community and being afraid to express yourself as you are in society.

'Yungblug wrote this song as an anthem for misfits and rebels, aiming to express the frustrations and struggles faced by those who don’t conform to the mainstream.' (Barret, 2023.)

So, for starters, the lyrics have a strong meaning by themselves; this combined with the song's melody creates an impact on the listener. However, I think that it is more likely that only listeners who identify with Yungblud's experience or have somehow experienced something similar will be moved and affected by them, but it's not necessarily this way.

And she was only 17 Had the saddest pair of eyes that you have ever seen Wore their lips in the cold, it was matching green But she can't be herself when she's somebody else ... Every morning, she would wake up with another plan Yeah, her mum and dad, they couldn't understand Why she couldn't turn it off, become a better man All this therapy eats away gently ... She dreams she'd go to California There, everyone would adore her ... Do you feel like you're irrelevant? Do you feel like you're just scared as fuck?

This emotional engagement comes full circle with the music video. In the video, we can observe Yungblud sitting in front of a grey background. As the video continues the people sitting in Yungblud's place change, and we start seeing people from different characteristics: skin color, genre, styles, etc. All of them start in a neutral position, all dressed in black while they lip-sync the song's lyrics.

As the song continues, they start applying blue paint to their eyelids with their fingers, and as the chorus approaches they start being grabbed aggressively and harassed by multiple sets of hands that appear in the shot; they begin to lipsync the lyrics more passionately. Most of them have tears forming in their eyes, and small traces of blood appear on their faces.

When we reach the breakdown/end of the song, they start being punched and choked really aggressively and their faces are now covered in blood and scratches. The actors start crying and singing very emotionally. The camera makes a close-up of all the faces and we can see the tears and blood on their faces, as well as the emotion and expressions they are portraying.

Even though the video doesn't have a complex plot structure and the spectator doesn't really have a context to what the video is about except for maybe the lyrics, the raw emotions and intensity of the acting portrayed in the video certainly create emotional engagement with the audience and affect them almost immediately. I think the message of the song/video can be understood perfectly because of how emotionally charged the acting is, the way the actors fully immerse into the storyline; crying, fighting the hands, and singing so passionately; helps the spectator relate to what is happening on the video and moves something in them.

What does this song represent and how does it benefit from this?

As I said earlier in this post, this song talks about the feeling of not fitting in or belonging anywhere. It is a song that represents all the outcasts who feel like they have no place in the world and who are constantly mistreated by society just for being who they are or expressing themselves. Yungblud is known for always speaking out about these types of issues and all of the labels and boxes that society tries to impose on people; especially on people who don't fit the social standards or are considered weird.

You can see by the comments on the YouTube video that this song truly achieved its purpose of representing this sector of the audience and even managed to reach people outside of it. People feel connected to the song and video and feel heard and represented by it. It has become an anthem for them and a safe place for them to go when they are feeling down.

We can clearly see that with the representation portrayed in the video, Yungblud managed to create an effective visual communication with his audience and connect with them through the image, sound and affect it causes; he benefits from it because it helps him make a stronger connection with his audience and to reach not only the targeted people but people from outside the fandom as well, and the message he was trying to

References

Barrett, W, (2023) The Meaning Behind the Song: mars Yungblud [Online] 14 September 2023. Available at: https://oldtimemusic.com/the-meaning-behind-the-song-mars-by-yungblud/ [Accessed: 17 December 2023]

Gregg M., Seigworth G. (2009) The Affect Theory Reader. Durham: Duke University Press

Spanos, B. (2019), ‘Yungblud: Pop-Punk Rebel on a Mission', Rolling Stone, 7 November. Available at: https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/yungblud-interview-artist-you-need-to-know-904078/ [Accessed: 17 December 2023]

Yungblud (2024) mars (Official Video), 27 November. Available at: https://youtu.be/BMA171qWYZk?si=Jw3ckra5sdcV9TsO [Accessed: 17 December 2023]

[fractalizing]

ok, so 3 names we'll talk about: Fractal (our system name) our public name (not revealing that because privacy is, in fact, important), and Jaesh (my, individual, name)

Fractal:

We have always liked fractals as a concept and they intersect fairly well with a few of our special interests: math, quantum physics and coding in particular. So, of course, they were in and of themselves, a special interest. We were having a hard time coming up with a system name (ideas like "The Fireflies System" [based on current username] or "Firefighter System" [based partially on VFD from ASOUE and partially because firefighters cool] also came up). Once "The Fractal System" came up, we kinda just realized it felt right. After that, the "the" came off when we realized there was another Fractal System out there (we accidentally found their carrd at some point), and a few of us felt uncomfortable with the "System" part because we very much just wanted to use it as a name (and getting rid of it made pk display names shorter on Discord). We'll still accept words like "System", along with "Sets" or "Hive" or "Collective", but just not primarily what we use.

As for if we've met somebody with the same name, no we haven't, although we met somebody recently who knew the other one and they actually mistook us for them (different handles, different sites, same name). As for spellings um... I don't think there's another acceptable way to spell Fractal?

Anyways, public name/singletsona:

Unfortunately can't delve into specifics, because privacy, but basically the current host threw together a bunch of letters that sounded strange together, and eventually came up with something we liked. Only problem was, it was a Goddess, and they didn't really want to name themself after something, so they changed the first letter. The only issue that came up was that they accidentally chose the first letter of our elder brother's name, which has caused a tad of confusion now. There was one time where we started working at a company our brother had also worked on and the email convention was [first letter of first name][last name] or something like that. So the people who had to make our account were mystified why the account name was already in there, and just threw in the second letter of our first name. We sometimes regret choosing that letter, but remember that if we hadn't changed it, we would have also shared the first letter with our eldest brother, and keeping the first letter of our deadname would not have been tenable either, for an entirely different reason.

We also later realized that we fell into all the enby naming stereotypes, some multiple times (multiple accepted pronunciations, misspellings, etc.).

We have never met or heard of anybody else with this name. There is one way that some people consistently misspell or mispronounce our name that we don't really care about, it's kinda just funny.

Then middle name we kinda just made it an older form of itself, because if we completely changed it that would have caused some issues. Unfortunately, we didn't do any research into the "new" pronunciation, and we were mispronouncing it for like, a solid month, then we find out they were pronounced more or less the same way.

Our names also have a literal meaning because middle and last name are from actual (old) languages, and actually make a sentence/title, which is really cool, and one of the reasons to keep my middle name.

Jaesh:

Our professor mispronounced our singletsona name but I liked it. We usually say there's not even a way to mispronounce it, but like... he did manage to. As for the rest of the questions... uh... yeah, nobody else named "Jaesh" exists, and I love me for it, and there's not any variation in spelling.

If we're having kids we're not the ones naming them, that's just not happening lol, we will not subject others to our naming.

I love tumblr’s anonymity but the only problem is that I love names: I love asking people where their names came from or if they were named by a parent for a family member or a media character OR, even cooler, if they picked it themselves and can explain their own reasoning. Does their middle name and their siblings’ names “match” their own? How often do they meet people with the same name? Do they have opinions on different spellings of their own name? (Yes.) If the want kids, what kind of name would they give their kids? Why?

[koushirouizumi]

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[lady-literature]

Found Family

holy shit did this one get way out of hand. Don’t expect them all to be this long because hot damn this is a monster compared to literally everything else but it just wouldn’t stop

(should I have expected this? probably. we all know how I am about found family.)

anyway enjoy 4.5k words ig

based on this post | @maribatmarch-2k21 | find more here

***

When Marinette had been chosen to intern with Monsieur Wayne’s PA, she hadn’t been expecting anything special. Sure, the Waynes were an odd breed and generally considered strange, but Marinette hadn’t actually expected to have much contact with them—if any at all.

She was here to earn credit for her business degree.

Instead, she has… well. She thinks she’s been somehow inducted into the Wayne family, mostly on accident and kind of as a joke.

That is, until it very much wasn’t.

***

Her first mistake, she supposes, was being too good at her job.

Marinette is an old hand at keeping track of multiple moving parts and riding herd on stubborn people who’d otherwise be too distracted or goofing off. (She was the Court’s leader for more than just being the latest in a long line of Ladybugs, after all.)

After the first two days shadowing Selina—“please, darling. Ms Kyle is so formal”—and learning the broad strokes of the job, Marinette felt confident enough to dig her nails in and get to work. Selina spent most of her time dedicated to international tasks and arranging Monsieur Waynes’ private affairs—all of which was highly classified and not discussed with Marinette—so she turned her attention to inter-company affairs.

Her first order of business was personally meeting with as many people in managerial positions as she could get. Not a requirement for the job per se, but these were people she’d have to interact with often and Maman had always stressed the importance of building connections in the workplace.

“People,” she would say, “are far more willing to do what you want them to when you’ve endeared yourself to them.”

So Marinette takes that advice and spends her breaks and lunches charming employees and giving baked goods to security guards and learning the names of the cleaning crew. She doesn’t speak to the department heads, because Selina handles their correspondences, but everyone else is free game as far as she’s concerned.

She becomes a well-recognized face astoundingly quickly.

***

Marinette probably should’ve seen the rumors coming.

It’s common practice in not only the Wayne family, but in most business conglomerates, for the children to quickly rise through the ranks of their company—if not just handed a high position right off the bat.

It took barely a month before the eldest was all but running Human Resources, and the second was placed as Head of Security practically out of nowhere. Monsieur Drake is the youngest (and most terrifyingly calculated) CEO to ever hold Wayne Enterprises, even if he does share the title with his father.

The other three are still too young or have yet to express an interest in the company, but people say it’s only a matter of time.

The track record speaks for itself, even if Marinette wishes it didn’t.

As a girl who’d come mostly out of nowhere and found herself with far more divisive sway in the company than she had any right to, it’s no wonder everyone thinks she’s some sort of secret Wayne finally coming out of hiding.

Marinette had nearly choked on her coffee when Selina dropped the bomb of that particular tidbit of company gossip.

“Most think you’ve been unofficially adopted,” Selina tells her, looking far too amused for Marinette’s liking. “Seeing as you’re too old for official avenues now.”

Marinette looks up warily from the schedule she’s rearranging. Selina had all but shoved the thing at her a month ago when she started suggesting more efficient ways of managing the CEOs’ valuable time.

“Only most? Does that mean the rest have common sense?”

Selina’s grin widens even further, if that’s possible, and Marinette regrets her question even before the older woman starts speaking.

“Oh, of course not!” she laughs delightedly. “The rest are hoping to hear news of wedding bells. It’s high time someone swept a Wayne off the market, don’t you think?”

***

“So you’re the new little sister I keep hearing about.”

Marinette stares up through narrowed eyes at the brightly smiling Dick Grayson. In her stomach, there are already the beginnings of resignation starting to form. 

“It’s nice to finally meet you!”

This man is going to bring her nothing but trouble. She can tell.

***

Dick takes a liking to her. And she, against her better judgment, finds herself doing the same to him.

It’s a little hard not to, if she’s being honest. He’s bright and bubbly and brings her bagels during his morning break without her ever having asked.

It takes practically no time at all before Marinette considers him a friend, relaxing when he’s near and laughing openly at his ridiculous jokes. Despite being the head of HR, he’s not great at the whole ‘professional’ thing and often employees will walk by to find him draped across a chair or balancing precariously on the edge of her desk while she tries and fails to get some work done while he’s around.

It really doesn't help all of the ‘Marinette is a Wayne’ rumors running around. Especially when Dick starts pointedly calling her every variation of ‘little sister’ that he can think of just to annoy her (and, she knows, because he thinks the entire situation hilarious).

***

Three weeks after befriending Dick, Selina all but shoves her into Monsieur Drake’s office and, in no uncertain words, says, “He’s your problem now.”

Marinette blinks at what she can describe as nothing other than a disaster area and just… sighs.

Tim blinks back at her.

The motion is somehow both completely blank and filled with an uncomfortable amount of knowing at the same time. There is also, she notices, a frankly ludicrous amount of concealer caked beneath his eyes and more coffee cups scattered on every flat surface than Marinette has ever seen in her life.

She knows his schedule like the back of her hand seeing as she spends hours of her day pouring over it to make sure everything runs smoothly. He has no prior engagements for the next three hours.

“You’re not going to take a nap just because I ask, are you?”

He snorts. “Absolutely not.”

She nods, having expected the answer; her phone was already at her ear before he even finished speaking. “Hey, Dick!” she greets, sounding brighter than she feels at the moment, and watches as Tim stiffens in front of her. “Yeah, no. I was just wondering if you’re busy right now.” She pauses. “Oh, good! Can you come up to Tim’s office for me? Yeah, I need you to knock him out so I can fix his dumpster fire of an office.”

Tim has since started waving his hands frantically at her, panic setting in behind his eyes.

Marinette stares at him, unmoved. “Thanks, Dick! You’re the best!”

The silence after she hangs up is deafening.

“I don’t know if I should be impressed by the ease you’re manipulating me or pissed off that you’re doing it in the first place.”

She hums thoughtfully. “Does your decision have any bearing on my future employment?”

His eyes squint. “…No.”

Marinette shrugs, mind already whirling with what she’ll need to get done first and calculating how long she’ll likely have to get it done. “Then I think you should skip right over both of those and land on resignation as quickly as possible, Monsieur, because you’re going to have to get used to it regardless.”

It’s silent for a long moment, and she worries for just a second that she’s severely crossed some sort of line. Then Tim bursts out laughing instead of, you know, firing her like he probably should have.

“Oh, yeah. You’re going to fit right in here.”

Marinette doesn’t ask where the ‘here’ is. She’s pretty sure she already knows.

***

It takes ten days for Marinette to wrangle Tim’s life into something resembling order. His office is clean and organized to his liking. She’s developed a system of filing so that all paperwork goes through her and is quickly sorted into ‘can be handled by Marinette’, ‘forge his signature and tell him about it later’, and ‘actually important enough to have Tim read through’.

His schedule is the most efficient it’s ever been and Marinette is quickly honing the skill of getting him properly dressed and out of his office in under thirty minutes. (Dick is, thankfully, a great teacher and has little to no qualms about giving her the key to all his little brother’s weaknesses.)

Selina stares at her when Marinette all but drags Tim from his office, a folder tucked neatly under his arm and the sugary monstrosity of a caffeinated beverage she’s bribed him with in her own, with a whole ten minutes to spare before his meeting with the Board.

“My dear,” she says solemnly, “you are positively magic.”

She doesn’t even look up from where she’s simultaneously wrangling Tim’s hair into submission and laying his tie down flat. “You have no idea.”

***

She knows Tim is capable of professionality. She’s seen the cool facade he pulls up in front of the Board members and the kind but impersonal smile he uses on the employees of Wayne Enterprises. (He is not the Ice Prince of the Wayne family, but Marinette believes he should have some equally ruthless sounding title.) He is aloof and sharp and every inch the businessman people praise him to be.

She’s seen it. And yet… 

“Monsieur. Why are all the Lexcorp contracts I gave you done in crayon?”

Tim doesn’t stop messing with his Rubix cube or even look up at her when he says, “Cause deadbeat fathers don’t deserve the respect of a pen.”

Marinette is very tired. She does not have time for this. “What are you talking about?”

“Lex is a bitchass absentee dad and I live to inconvenience him.”

“What about inconveniencing me?” she all but whines. “I can’t hand him these!”

That does make Tim look up at her, eyes wide with false innocence and mouth pouting up at her. “But sister dearest, I’m your little brother. It’s my job to inconvenience you.”

Growling in frustration is probably an inappropriate reaction to the situation.

But, Marinette thinks, so is the fact that both of the Waynes she associates with regularly seem hellbent on convincing the world that she too, is a Wayne, so.

(Is this how Alya felt dealing with the twins? Cause if so, Marinette takes back every joke she ever made—little siblings are a bitch.)

***

She meets Damian without warning.

Honestly, she never really expected to meet him at all but, well.

She finds him in Monsieur Wayne’s office, sitting at his father’s desk and doing something that she thinks is vaguely illegal, but she’s not about to tell her Boss a dozen times over how to parent his children.

Damian is a near-perfect copy of his father with darker skin and calculating green eyes. There’s also a more potent aura of danger around the child than there is around his father, like Damian hasn’t yet learned how to hide behind his public persona as his father had.

Or, Marinette looks at the teen thoughtfully, perhaps he just chooses not to.

“Monsieur Wayne,” she greets. Children like to be treated like adults, she knows, and Marinette doesn’t think this one is any different. “Selina hadn’t told me you’d be in the office today.”

“I don’t run my schedule by her,” he says flatly. A response she expected considering Dick’s stories.

“Of course not,” she agrees.

He finally deigns to look up at her and something flits across his expression, too fast for her to pick up on it. “Are those for Father? Bring them here, I’ll deal with them in his absence.”

Marinette raises her eyebrow. “I’m not sure that’s wise Monsieur.”

Damian scowls and sticks his hand out. “I’m perfectly capable of forging Father’s signature. Give them here.”

She does not move and, instead, lets her lips quirk up into the smile she’s been fighting since she stepped in here.

“I don’t doubt it,” she tells him, and she doesn't. Forgery seems exactly like the kind of skill a child who broke into the CEO’s office of a multi-billion dollar company would have. “But you’ll find that all forging of signatures has been finished for the day and that these,” she shakes the sheaf of papers lightly, “actually require your father’s attention.”

He snorts disbelievingly and it says a lot about Marinette’s life up until now that the blatant display of disrespect doesn’t piss her off but instead reminds her of Chloé and of the fact that she still needs to reschedule their spa day. It's been too long since they spent time together in person.

“Well,” she pauses and eyes the papers thoughtfully. “‘Requires’ in the sense that its information needed to trounce the Board when they start spouting off greedy bullshit about cutting corners on our humanitarian efforts. I’m not sure how much of it is actually useful for anything besides that.” She shrugs. “But homework is homework, yes?”

That gets her a thoughtful once-over. His hand lowers and he then turns back to whatever he’s messing with on his father’s computers.

“Very well,” he concedes. “Father will be back in approximately thirteen minutes. You can leave the papers and I’ll inform him of their… importance.” He smirks, but it’s more like he’s letting her in on a joke than anything else.

Marinette smiles back as she sets the folder on the desk, feeling, oddly, like she’s passed some sort of test.

***

The day after, both Dick and Tim are waiting for her with what looks like an entire bakery laid out in her workspace.

“Uh,” she says eloquently, setting her purse down on her chair because there’s not a single open space on her desk not filled with some kind of pastry. “What’s all this?”

She looks up to find neither Dick nor Tim has stopped staring at her since she walked in. “We heard you met Damian yesterday,” Dick starts warily, like he’s scared of her reaction.

The response does not abate her confusion. 

“Yes, I did,” she says slowly. “That does not explain all… this.” She waves a hand, trying to encompass them as well as the state her desk is in.

The two brothers share a look.

“It’s a bribe,” Tim tells her simply and Marinette is taken aback for all of a second before her eyes suddenly narrow.

Dick cuts in hastily before she can say anything. “It’s more of an apology, really. For Damian’s behavior.”

But Marinette is confused and frustrated and just a bit offended by the apparent not-bribe at this point. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, but it only does so much.

“Damain’s behavior was fine,” she tells them with measured neutrality. “You two, on the other hand, are being weird and it’s freaking me out.” She crosses her arms expectantly. “Seriously, what’s going on?”

Appearing from out of nowhere, Selina drapes herself along Marinette’s shoulders and snags a raspberry scone. “I do believe,” she says as if sharing a secret, “That they are trying to keep you from quitting, kitten.”

Marinette wrinkles her nose. “Why would I quit? I like this job.”

She also likes the Waynes (in general, if not right then) and she likes Selina. The woman was a good mentor who didn’t shy away from the dirtier parts of the job and taught Marinette all she knew. (Even the bits, she noticed, that had little to nothing to do with being a personal assistant and were more likely to be found in the repertoire of a thief.

But, Marinette is in possession of her own sticky fingers and knows how to not ask questions, so. You know—curiosity killed the cat and all.)

She doesn’t voice any of that, but Selina, at least, knows it anyway. Marinette isn’t quiet about her gratitude after all.

“First meetings with the youngest Wayne don’t often go well,” Selina tells her. “In fact, I think he has a habit of making the interns cry.”

Dick makes some kind of offended noise. “Hey! He hasn’t done that since he was twelve!”

Tim elbows him in the ribs and Marinette makes a vaguely skeptical face at all three of them before deciding it wasn’t worth it. She has actual work to get done today and pastries to get rid of before she can even start.

She pats affectionately at Selina’s hand before grabbing as many boxes as she can hold. “Come on you two,” she says to the brothers. “You’re going to help me hand these out to the rest of the company.”

Dick immediately starts doing as told but Tim hesitates, humming thoughtfully. “You know that’s not going to help your whole ‘I’m not actually a Wayne’ thing, right?”

She glares at him. It doesn’t stop Tim from grinning like the utterly unrepentant little shit he is.

***

Things are quiet after the Damian Incident for a whole two weeks. It’s the longest lull Marinette has had since she first started and became somehow involved with the Waynes.

It ends because Dick finds out about the crush Marinette has been nursing on the Head of Security for three months now.

The Head of Security who is Jason Todd: second eldest Wayne sibling and Dick’s brother.

He takes it better than expected.

(Almost, she thinks later, a little too well.)

***

Despite her friendship with Dick and Tim—or perhaps because of it?—Jason had never seemed very interested in her. At first, Marinette had shrugged and counted it as a win; there was one Wayne, at least, who neither found her situation funny nor used it to poke fun at her.

They were on friendly terms, she supposed. Security has always been one of her more regular stops in the building, so she’d spoken to him often enough. He liked complaining that she spoiled his team rotten with all her treats.

But she also noticed that he likes her cherry danishes, so.

And then she noticed how crooked his grin was when he smiled. And how he seemed to have an arsenal of nicknames for everyone he knew. And the small collection of classic romance novels filled with sticky notes he tries and fails to hide in his desk. And, and, and.

It was around the time she began unconsciously memorizing his schedule based on when he was and was not there for her pastry deliveries, that she realized she may have made a misstep somewhere.

Jason was stubborn and passionate and flipped between overly proper and crass light a damn light switch. He was also, as stated, very much not interested in her.

Not that she would’ve pursued him anyway. He was a coworker as well as her friends’ brother.

Now if only one of said brothers could understand that.

“You should ask him out,” Dick suggests not for the first time and Marinette sighs, also not for the first time.

She loves Dick—she truly does—but he has been an aggravating level of unhelpful since he found out about Marinette’s latest romantic disaster.

“I’m definitely not doing that.”

Dick groans, like she’s being the unreasonable one. “Why are you being so stubborn about this?”

“Because I don’t like embarrassing myself?” she asks rhetorically. “Not everyone can have a fairy tale romance like you and Wally.”

He throws his coffee stirrer at her. “We are not a fairy tale.”

She shoots him a flat look. She’s heard Dick talk about Wally and Tim’s told her all the stories and she was there when he and Wally finally got their shit together. Dick was unbearable for an entire week with his gooey, lovestruck new lease on life.

“You two are the definition of fairy tale. You two make fairy tales look like trashy romance novels.”

He opens his mouth to argue the point before forcibly cutting himself off. “No. Stop distracting me. We’re not talking about that; we’re talking about you and Jason.”

“There is no ‘me and Jason’,” she reminds him through her clenched teeth.

“Not yet,” he says optimistically. Like it’s a fact, like he knows something she doesn’t.

He makes her want to slam her face into a wall. Truly, he does.

***

Dick stops running his HR papers up to her office. Instead, he’s somehow convinced Jason to play errand boy for him even though he literally never looks happy about it. What used to be a flimsy excuse for Dick to slack off for a few minutes and gossip with her has now turned into awkward silence as Jason drops off the papers and leaves without even a ‘hello’.

During their shared breaks, Dick takes to orchestrating ‘chance encounters’ between her and Jason, all but shoving them into each other (and even actually shoving that one time).  She catches Jason shooting dark looks at Dick every time he does it, and if she’d been holding any iota of hope at this point, it’s been smashed to dust. Jason obviously knows of his brother’s meddling and isn’t happy about it.

But Dick just can’t take the hint.

Every failed plan of his makes him steadily worse about it all—more frantic and frustrated and like he wants to strangle her for her stubbornness. (The last feeling being more than mutual.)

Dick’s meddling starts to make her and Jason’s previously friendly, if distant, relationship awkward and embarrassing. With every pointed comment, she gets closer to just punching Dick in the face. Or, maybe, she’ll just tell Wally who really ate all the chocolate strawberry macaroons she made; it’d certainly be more devastating.

***

It all comes to head on a Thursday, after most employees have left for the day. 

They run into each other in a breakroom, and she watches as Jason suddenly goes stiff, eyes flicking over her shoulder to no doubt scan for Dick. That single action makes her expression sour and she slams her empty mug down with more force than was necessary.

For Kwamis sake, he looks like a cornered animal. An image not helped by the way he jumps a foot in the air and stares at her like he’s worried she’ll suddenly lunge at him.

“Can we agree this is ridiculous?” she says abruptly. “I don’t know what Dick is trying to accomplish with his wingman schtick, but we both know it’s not going to work. Can we just… agree that he’s an idiot?”

A complicated look crosses Jason’s face before he snorts wryly. “Yeah, we can agree on that. Dickie-boy has always been a few sandwiches short a picnic.”

“I know things have been awkward between us lately, and I’m sorry about that, but I hope we can keep being friends?” she says hopefully.

“What in the world do you have to be sorry about?” he asks before she can start catastrophizing about the bewildered expression he makes at her words. “It’s not your fault.”

The smile she shoots him is rueful and she shakes her hand in an ‘ehh’ type gesture. “Kinda is. And I understand if the-” she makes a vague gesture between them that she hopes properly conveys ‘my giant, stupid crush on you’, “you know, is too much for you. Just say the word I’ll try and keep out of your way.”

She’s trying to be comforting or understanding or something like that, but all her words seem to do is make him upset. “Absolutely not,” he insists. “Sunshine, you are not going to change your routine just to make me feel better.”

Marinette crosses her arms, frowning up at him. “Why shouldn’t I? If I’m making you uncomfortable-”

He makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat. “Uncomfort- Marinette. ” She jolts a bit at the use of her name. She doesn’t think he’s used it since her second week at W.E. “I’m not sure who made you think otherwise—and if it was Dick just tell me cause I’ll kick his ass —but barring the fact that I still enjoy your friendship regardless of any… feelings-” Marinette concentrates very hard on not showing emotion when he says that, “-it’s not your responsibility to deal with it.”

Okay, but… that makes no sense. Of course her feelings were her responsibility, that’s the whole point of them being hers.

“If it’s not mine, then whose responsibility is it then?” she asks, wondering where the hell his train of thought is running.

“Mine, obviously.”

She gives him a look, complete with narrowed eyes and thinly veiled judgment. “What? Is this some kind of gentleman’s martyr complex? Is that what’s happening right now?”

Jason huffs a laugh, but there’s no humor in the sound. “If me taking responsibility for my own damn feelings is a martyr complex then sure,” he snarks, not unkindly. More like he’s trying to protect himself by retreating behind a sour attitude.

Her mouth is halfway around a retort when his words catch up to her brain and she freezes.

“Your feelings?” she repeats. “Your feelings for… me?”

His voice is carefully neutral when he says, “Those would be the ones.”

Her mouth opens and closes and opens again. “You like me? Seriously?”

His face spasms at the question, starting at anger before he properly looks at her and the surprised expression on her face. He pales.

“You didn’t know?”

“No!” she squeaks, something she hasn’t done since she was fifteen. “Well Dick said but I didn’t believe him!”

And fuck, she thinks. This means Dick knew the whole damn time, didn’t he? Oh, she is so going to kill him the second she gets the chance.

Jason runs a hand down his face, covering his mouth as he gathers his bearings. Suddenly, his eyes shoot back open and land on her. “Wait. If you didn't know, then what the hell were you talking about just now?”

She blushes to the tips of her ears and buries her face in her hands so she doesn’t have to look at him. It was easy when she thought he’d figured it out himself. It’s harder now that she has to tell him. “I- I was talking about my crush on you.”

He’s quiet for so long that she gets antsy and peeks out from behind her fingers to see his expression. He’s still looking at her, but now there’s a wide, crooked smile on his face. The expression softens something in her chest and she lowers her hands.

“Really?” he asks, leaning closer.

Marinette nods, feeling a small smile spread across her lips.

He jolts forward, hands reaching for her before suddenly stopping just shy of touching. She startles a bit at the motion but doesn’t move away.

Jason licks his lips, smile smaller but no less bright. “I- can I?”

She blinks. “Can you what?”

“Kiss you.”

The blush returns full force, but with it also comes a smile, giddy and bright. She nods and no sooner than she does, is he swooping down to pull her into a toe-curling kiss. His hands cup her face with a tenderness that makes her smile, makes her giddy, and it’s not long before they’re both smiling too wide to actually kiss and are forced to break apart.

His hands fall to her back, practically engulfing her, and his chin drops onto her head. It’s warm and cozy and she thinks she could so very easily get used to this.

Later, they’re going to have to deal with Dick and Tim and Selina and the teasing they’ll no doubt have to endure—not to mention how much worse the rumors are going to get—but right now? Right now Marinette pulls Jason back down for another kiss and very pointedly doesn’t think about it.

[ravenadottir]

Alrightly, I’m currently in bed with a heating pad cuz it’s just that time. I’m watching some Lifetime movies (on LMN) and I’m sure Brasil probably has that channel with either subtitles or dubbed line reads. That last time I visited family there, they had a channel that I watched. Lifetime movies are a genuine love of mine because they’re so terrible that they’re amazing. The reused plots, reused sets, reused actors, terrible acting (most of the time), awful stunt work, I just can’t get enough of their “steamy” thrillers. Now I will admit that there are good movies but the majority are not. If you look up a few trailers for Lifetime movies, you’ll understand what I mean (you’ll also basically watch the whole movie through the trailer).

I wanna know which LIs you think would sit with MC to watch these movies either genuinely enjoying them or just to make MC happy.

oh yeah! i know the lifetime movies, it's become a running gag in the movie community. just as famous as "cw production value" when something is terrible or cheap looking.

let's go li by li and whether they would or not, and why:

lucas. "this looks awful" he says while reading the sinopsis.

'that's why i want to watch it... that's the point!"

"why would you do that to yourself? watch something you know you're gonna hate, on purpose?"

"just watch, you'll know what i mean." by the time the movie ends he's hiding his face because he kind of likes how bad they are.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

kassam. i already headcanon him, multiple times, that he's a lover of trash movies, like sharknado or any zombeaver variation. he's probably not as excited but he'll sit down and watch because mc knows how to convince him: "babe, you think sharknado is a masterpiece."

"yes! because it is! it's so bad it's actually fun!"

"trust me, you'll love to hate this so much you're gonna thank me later." and he kinda does. he loves to hate these mushy movies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

gary would also sit down and watch. he's already used to watching bad soap operas and telenovelas with his nan. what's a 2-hour movie? but be aware, he's the type that talks when frustrated, so he's definitely pointing out mistakes and bad camera work, or stunts.

lottie might be reluctant but i can even see her sparing a couple of tears at the end, saying something like "nobody is gonna believe you" when blowing her nose. remember... she cries with titanic 💀

bobby might say exactly what you said: "it's so terrible it's actually good." he's not mad about it at all, and might be even excited, especially if one of the characters is a baker. pointing out mistakes in food themed movies is a hobby of his.

carl. he's gonna sit down, have his food and drink ready, only to fall asleep in the first ten minutes. and snore loudly. and eventually wake up and pretend nothing happened.

henrik. he's gonna have an edible beforehand because he doesn't like movies, but that will make him have even more fun. he might even cry when the little kid says something sweet, or when the couple gets together in the end. "that was so... terrible. i love it." and start laughing.

noah. he hates them. "no one is that corny." but he sits down and watches it with her because even though he doesn't like to admit it he loves to hate them.

hannah might actually like them, unironically. she's a writer and will definitely pick up mistakes the screenwriters committed but like... it's a guilty pleasure of hers. she even has a favorite actress and theme and it's princess related. poor girl meets prince, prince falls in love, there's a conspiracy to split them up that often involves a letter for some reason, girl leaves humiliated, prince finds out and tells his mom off, princen catches up with poor girl, poor girl becomes princess. rinse and repeat. she eats that shit up every time, and often cries over the movies.

marisol, priya, elisa and ibrahim would never. and i respect them for that. after a first try they would have the answer ready to go whenever mc asked, and it's 'NO 💙'

[goji-pilled]

MK-S: Well, that notion of using Phil to allow Klarissa to jump between AUs seems to have, for lack of a better term, exploded. Here I was thinking that the idea would be fun to let her cameo in other AUs she’s not normally part of, or letting her occasionally act as a Deus Ex Machina in such settings if needed.

Here’s another possible idea to somewhat simplify things; By know everyone here should be roughly aware of the Homura Tamura multiverse bar. But what if there was actually more than one such bar? Using Phil as our resident plot device for all contrived space-time-multiverse mayhem, we could say that there is a “multiverse of multiverses”, with one Homura Bar (HB, and may actually be called “Akemi-Ya”, if someone could check that) per multiverse. What does this mean? Klarissa is unlikely to run into herself at the HB…save for if she starts throwing herself into time travel nonsense. This was mainly about Phil keeping things simple for dimension hopping.

Ironically, the simplest notion for Phil in all of this may be to make it so that there’s only one Phil, but Phil being so alien to our comprehension can keep track of what could potentially be an infinite number of Klarissas…or on second thought, my head’s starting to hurt trying to keep track of all these time travel and dimension hopping shenanigans; I’m just going to outsource keeping space-time from imploding to Phil, the same way one might hire an agent to handle their taxes.

Sheesh, part of the reason I suggested this idea in the first place was to justify Phil being able to tweak the walls for Candeloro’s role play on the Reverse Witches AU. (Well, this idea has certainly exploded beyond just that concept.) Phil making tiny monsters, and maybe making some sections between the walls bigger on the inside, screwing with the gravity, etc. Basically, Candeloro’s dream role-play setup, in which she can truest map out and explore, fight strange new creatures, and for the most part doesn’t need to worry about the house burning down in an electrical fire. And of course, converting the role-play journals into Nagisa and Yuma bedtime stories. (Ophelia and Sayaka/Oktavia (based on AU variation) may also stand by the door, because they have to admit, those are entertaining tales). Why does Phil do this in a Klarissa-free world? Eh, personally, I’m justifying it as the closest thing to a bored hobby in his downtime an Eldritch Abomination can have.

…Wow. I write a LOT. I hope this behemoth was fun to read, in whole or in part. Well, I’m off to bed. Have a good morning.

That was fun to read, and yeah I wouldn't be suprised if Phil kept track of multiple Klarissas at once dksjwkw 💀💀

[andhumanslovedstories]

I’ve been working on this theory lately about my own media consumption that I’ll call representational contrarianism because I’m tickled at giving it a fancy sounding name. And it’s like this: given the choice between media with canonical queer characters and media that has characters you could argue are queer, I’ll default to the latter nine times out of ten.

And it’s like. Why?

(And yeah, this is a post about Supernatural, but it’s not ABOUT Supernatural, you know? Also everything is about Supernatural except Supernatural which is about umm truly who fucking knows.) 

So, for me (and consider that the big disclaimer for this post) queer characters created by queer people either cut too close to the truth, or they’re disappointing. If they’re truthful, then the truth, through the warped lens of my own insecurities and uncertainties, becomes “yes Sarah this is who you are” or “no Sarah you ain’t this.” If they’re disappointing, if I don’t like them or I don’t like the romance or I like some other character better, I feel like I’m letting someone down--not always sure who, just someone, maybe it’s myself, maybe it’s the Community, maybe it’s this fictional person--and further, this becomes another tick in a column labeled “you’re straight and you’ve always been straight, you hurt gay people by thinking otherwise, and also everyone’s laughing at you.” Which is a lot of pressure to put on kindle lesbian romance novels I picked up for $1.99, but that’s what I feel. 

The important thing is, these characters and stories are tests I’m very capable of failing.  

And queer people created by straight people--look, it’s not universally true, but look at the shitty way explicit homosexuality is treated on Supernatural (a joke! flat! background! nothing!) versus the absolutely inadvertent queer-coding they did with Dean, Sam, and Cas. They wrote three distinct queer masculine allegories by complete fucking accident. They couldn’t have done that on purpose. They don’t think gay people are people in the same way that straight people are people. They think that they’re Gay and then a little later that they are people. (And does my hyperfixation on this issue mean that I approach gay characters the same way as shitty straight writers? Hahahahaha shut the fuck up I’m almost in therapy again, this is all on the docket.) 

Queer characters created by queer people are a litmus test, and queer characters created by straight people are pandering. And you don’t really know about the creators that often, and they shouldn’t have to list their identities on the back of the book (although catch me scanning acknowledgements for the words wife, partner, people thanked with love but identified only as an initial, like deciphering how this book might make me feel is a test I can cheat on, but what do you do with a writers room? Memorize the gay ones if you can, cross-reference who wrote what eps?). So I’m comparing myself against these characters (bad choice) in the hopes of learning about myself while also hyperanalyzing these characters in a way that would be insanely unfair to do to a real person (are they Truly Gay? are they Truly Good Representation? if I don’t like them, is it their fault or my fault or their story’s fault or God’s fault or or or or or or or). So I end up evaluating this central question about myself--literally the question Who Am I--against characters (again, a bad choice) that I swivel wildly between believing they are better at being gay than me (because they might have been written by queer people) or are worse at being gay than me (because they might have been written by straight people). 

(I know this is horribly reductive in regards to representation and own voices and good writing. You don’t want to see how long this post was with nuance.) 

And let’s do the ultimate thought experiment: let’s say they did Supernatural good. And now Dean is bisexual! Yay! Canonically! They decide this in season four and he comes out and maybe he always knew or maybe this is all new to him, whatever, it’s all handled fantastically. GLAAD awards for everyone. 

If Dean was gay, canonically gay, if he had what I do not--a cast of writers, a voice of God saying definitely, yes, yes, he is sexually and romantically attracted to multiple genders, he is Canon now, there was an interview in Entertainment Weekly about it and everything--then he is gayer by default than me--no writers, no God, no all hands meeting when everyone nods solemnly and concludes, let’s give the people what they want: this one’s a dyke. And he slips somewhere I can’t follow, into that tantalizing paradise called Certainty, and he learns the gay lingo, and he learns the hidden stereotypes only gay people get to know about other gay people, and he unlocks the Shared History and the Inside Jokes, and he speaks to the other people in the club with the knowledge that all of them deserve to be there because they know that they deserve to be there.  

(Meanwhile, I am not in the club, I am instead down at the courthouse where I get called forward before the Gender Judges who reviewed the emergency application I made in the middle of the night, and they ask, “It says here you want to change your name?” and I say, “Actually no, I thought about it but the idea of being called anything other than Sarah genuinely horrifies me,” and they ask, “But you did say you were considering experimenting with your pronouns?” and I say, “Again, no, I’ve toyed with the thought but the idea of me being referred to as anything other than she/her viscerally disgusts me,” and they ask, “Okay but what is it that horrifies and disgusts you: the thought of being identified as someone you aren’t, or making a fuss about your identity in a way that draws attention to it?” and being unable to come up with an answer, I throw myself out the nearest window and start running, also causing me to miss my scheduled meeting with the Sexuality forum where we were going to litigate whether I was allowed to use dyke like that a paragraph back.)

(We don’t have time to get into gender. Just assume this all applies to gender stuff as well, and we’ll move on.)

But. If he’s not canonically anything, then he is as gay as I make him. In this daydream or that fanfic, we make the subtext text and here is a queer story, a gay story, a story about me as I would like to be seen and would like to be, and when I am done, I spray him off with some windex and wipe him down to factory settings. And then tomorrow there’s a different fantasy where he’s gay in a different way, a nuance, a tweak, a thousand variations on the same basic premise (what if this guy liked guys), and if I don’t like one, it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t stick. It’s a novel written in sand. The appeal is that it’ll wash away. Why should he be any more sure than me? 

Anyway, that’s why queerbaiting is good actually (joke). 

[sunnydeviant]

Nines’s First Birthday Present (it’s so fluffy i swear)

On AO3

When Nines’s first birthday comes up, he doesn’t expect to get his first present from Gavin. They’ve been working as partners in the DPD for ten months already, so it was not a complete surprise. However, he’s not very used to kind gestures from the detective, especially ones involving material presents. 

The expression on Nines’s face when he saw a giant, red, cardboard box next to his desk, which was too big to put on top, was precious. Genuine surprise marked his features: raised eyebrows, widened eyes, and parted lips.

Gavin observed his reaction from the breakroom, blushing as he sipped from his cup of coffee. Gavin had come in early with Tina to plant the humorously large present at the android’s desk.

Tina also planted Gavin’s phone on top of the counter that was right in front of the pair’s desks to document the moment for him. In addition, she sat at her own desk, recording him with her phone while trying to not seem suspicious. She smiled gently, mentally cooing at his reaction. 

Nines tapped at the box in multiple spots, listening to the variations in pitch and reverb. The item inside seemed solid, but soft. He looked around, noting the very few people in the bull pen. There was Tina, at her desk, and a few other officers that he wasn’t acquainted with. 

He looked around the box, looking for a name or something to signify who it was from. The giant box was forty-eight cubic feet, four by four by four. He was surprised at the weight when he rotated it upside down to look at the bottom for any more information. The item shifted inside, but he was not worried about it breaking: he was sure it was too soft to break. Not finding any information, he turned it right side up and peeled at the tape the sealed the top. 

He opened the flaps of the box, seeing an obnoxiously large teddy bear sitting inside, sagging under it’s own weight. The surprised expression was back, now with the addition of his LED spinning a frenzied yellow with flecks of red making their appearance.

He pulled it out, admiring its beady black eyes and cream colored fur. It seemed to be six feet tall, just a few inches shorter than him.

He hugged the large plush, smiling at the comforting weight and texture it provided. His sensors picked up on the very faint scent of roasted coffee beans and cologne.

With the bear in his arms, he peered back into the box. He was surprised yet again when there was a light blue envelope at the bottom that he had originally missed.

Nines looked around once more, but now with a bashful expression. His cheeks tingled with the sensation of a blush. He looked down, trying to discreetly hide his blue-tinged face. He set the bear on his chair and took the envelope carefully in his hands. 

He tried his best to open the envelope without damaging it and was, thankfully, successful. He pulled out the card. The front side said “Happy 1st Birthday!” in bright pink font against a pastel blue background. The edges of the card had little balloons covered in holographic glitter. He ran his fingers over it, analyzing it.

He then the cute card, seeing a messy scrawl in black ink that undoubtedly belonged to his partner.

“Happy Birthday, dipshit. Here’s to more crime-solving and ass kicking. - The World’s Best Partner and Detective >:)”

Nines chuckled at the message, his LED shifting between yellow and blue. He covered his mouth, keeping his head down again. His thirium pump fluttered unexpectedly, making him feel impossibly light and ecstatic. The addition of the little emoticon was so very much Gavin of his partner to do. He saved this memory to his databanks, under the file that was specifically for his partner. He delicately put the card back into its envelope and closed it before setting on his desk. He then grabbed the bear and placed it in its box cautiously.

He pushed the box flush against his desk as to keep it out of his way and sat down, glancing around the building to find his partner.

He looked down at the box again, seeing traces of Gavin and Tina’s fingerprints all over the box.

He stared at his computer in an attempt to use it to hide the ghost of a smile on his lips. However, a curiosity washed over his mind.

“Where was Gavin? Why did he give the present to me this way instead of just giving it to me himself?”

He understood surprises and the appeal of them, liking them himself, but it seemed rather uncharacteristic for the detective to avoid just giving it to him. He preferred to do things face-to-face.

Nines looked down at the floor, finding faint traces of Gavin’s tennis shoes leading to the break room. He decided to wait for him rather than seek him out.

After seven minutes and fifteen seconds of waiting, the man finally came out of the break room, steaming hot coffee in his hand. He smirked lazily.

“Good morning and happy birthday, tin can.”

“Good morning to you too and thank you very much, meat sack,” Nines replied.

The teasing that originally started as malicious had grown to be sarcastic and friendly: a part of their routine.

The detective sat down unceremoniously, starting up his computer as he did every normal day.

Thoughts of the present, its significance, and its presentation made Nines’s LED swirl yellow.

Gavin said, still looking his his computer, “Ya doin’ anything for your birthday?”

“I didn’t really think of anything. I think Connor, Sixty, and I are just going to play a new game I had wanted to purchase, but that’s about it.” No other events of significance were marked on his calendar.

“Well, do you wanna try something new? Like, I don’t know, uhm, stargazing? Going somewhere scenic?”

Nines was amazed at how much the detective seemed to remember about him. He had mentioned wanting to get out of the city to look at what nature had to offer a few months back. It was mentioned briefly, but the man had seemed to remember it well. In addition, he had mentioned that he wanted the over-sized stuffed animal in an extremely random conversation during the summer. 

How did Gavin remember that? He wasn’t sure, but the fact that he did made Nines feel giddy.

“Yes, that... That sounds rather pleasant, Gavin. Thank you.”

He looked at his partner, smiling.

Gavin rubbed at the scar on his nose with a gentle touch, something Nines knew he had done when he was nervous.

“Yeah, don’t mention it, you glorified toaster.”

He looked back at his computer. Nines scanned him, noticing his increased heart rate and body temperature.

“IT’S A DATE!” Tina called from her desk.

Immediately, the blush and sheepish smile came back to Nines. Gavin noticed how quickly the android’s LED flashed from a calm blue to a deep red. He snapped his head toward her, raising his voice.

“No it’s not, you fuck-nugget!”

Nines covered his face with a hand. Pre-constructions ran through his mind palace, creating an endless amount of scenarios and possibilities, all about Gavin.

His face became impossibly more blue.

Gavin looked like he was about to start fuming, until he took another look at his partner.

“Nines, you okay?” Genuine concern made itself evident in his tone.

“Yeah, don’t worry about me, Gavin.”

Well, fuck. 

Nines was sure that Gavin would be the death of him. 

[broadstflyers]

A/N: I am so excited to be starting my first ever series. This is inspired by Taylor Swift’s “Cardigan” because her music creates stories in my head that I must write down on (digital) paper. Please keep in mind this chapter is written in past tense, and the story probably won't be in present tense for at least another few chapters. Let me know what you think! If you want to be on the tag list for the next chapter, or drop any (constructive) feedback, you can take this survey here.

Word Count: 2.3K

Warnings: None

Summary: They say at fourteen you’re too young to know you’re in love. But what if you aren’t?

Navigation: chapter two

Grade: 9 Age: 14 --------------------------------- As sure as you are that spring comes after winter, the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, and seconds turn into minutes, you know you are in love with Joel Farabee. Not the gushy “I want to hug you and kiss you and never let you go” love, the intense “I want to burst at the seams because I just want to scream it on the rooftops and tell you and it literally crushes my heart that I can’t” love.

Yeah, that love.

The problem?

You were only fourteen when you knew.

Yes, the grand old age of fourteen. The age you were supposed to be nervously texting multiple boys, wondering if you were going to be asked to the ninth grade dance and worrying about who your first kiss was going to be, or even the first person you were going to hold hands with.

It started on the first day of school, but the start of it all was less than romantic. You shuffled up the hallway with one of your best friends, your feet felt like lead.

“What’s wrong?” Luna whispered in your ear.

“I really hate math,” you huffed. It was the last period of the day, eighth period, and you had to spend it in what was probably going to be a room full of rambunctious athletes who would be itching to burst out of the room at the very sound of the bell. How did you know this? Because you had been stuck in a class like that ever since the beginning of middle school. It made for some laughs, yes, but for some reason a pessimistic attitude bitterly swarmed around you in dark circles. Also, math in general made you anxious, and it didn’t help that the last few years you had to fend for yourself because of your lack of friends in said class.

“Well, at least you’ll have me this year,” Luna attempted to reassure you and your looming anxiety.

“Yeah, but I wonder who’s going to be in our class this year,” you mumbled. Your stomach swarmed with butterflies, but you’d rather call them icky moths.

Luna opened her mouth to respond, but you reached the door frame before her. Before you could even make it through the entrance, you made eye contact with a group of rowdy boys sitting at a table directly in front of you. You stopped dead in your tracks. They paused in their shouting to turn and look at you and Luna, since you were only about seven or eight feet away.

You scanned their faces, and you recognized most of them. They were mostly hockey players that played for the local team that looked for a shot at the NTDP in just a few short years. It was Syracuse, hockey was a pretty big deal there. There was also the prospective varsity quarterback and his star wide-receiver, these labels given to them at just fourteen. Of course, more athletes. Suddenly, you locked eyes with this boy you strangely have never seen before. His hand was hovering in air over his friend’s head with what you could only assume is his friend’s pencil in a lame attempt to keep him from grabbing it.

He blinked a few times, and you might have blinked a few times, you honestly couldn’t remember.

You snapped out of your trance and looked over to the board that said, “Welcome class! Pick your seats for the first day!”

“Hey,” Luna nudged you and grabbed your arm, “let’s sit over there.”

She lead you to a table adjacent to the boys’ table, despite your unheard protests of being “too close” to them.

You took your seat huffing, and you pulled out your binder and got ready for class, something you wished the crazy boys would pick up on. Thankfully the bell rang, your teacher shut the door, and class began.

That’s the first time you saw him. Not very eventful, but hey, you two were awkward fourteen year olds just entering grade nine. Of course things were not going to be all fireworks and love at first sight.

---------------------------------

A few classes went by, and the only disturbance that occurred was when the class was taking one of those horrible diagnostic tests. See, you really hated disturbances, interruptions, anything relating to that matter.

So when this dude named Joel (you learned his name when he was yelled at for playing rap music in the middle of class) started fooling around with his friend while you were trying to figure out why letters were in math now, you weren’t happy, to say the least.

And when he locked eyes with you and made a silly face, yours did not move in a rather unamused manner. You simply blinked and looked back down at your test.

You missed his face slightly fall, but it was short lived when the teacher yelled his name from across the room and made everyone jump ten feet. He was quiet after that.

---------------------------------

It was a random Tuesday in late October.

You and Luna were chatting about your previous classes, until you both stopped in your tracks and you raised an eyebrow. Everyone in your class was standing up and congregating away from tables. You could hear the ominous music creeping over everyone’s heads.

“Oh no,” you whined to Luna.

She winced. “We’re being assigned seats, aren’t we?”

You nodded. You both stood in the sea of kids and awaited your fate.

“Alright, everyone,” your teacher said. “You guys have been extremely chatty lately.” She paused to side-eye Joel and his friends.

He opened his mouth to protest, but he quickly shut it when she frowned.

“So you leave me no choice, but I must assign seats,” she dramatically said as she unveiled the new seating chart on the board.

Everyone pushed and shoved to the front to see where their name lied in the cards of fate. You heard some soft celebrations and loud protests.

You nudged your way in and scanned up and down the board. Luna wasn’t at the same table, but she was sitting facing towards you at another table. Hopefully you and her would be able to make eye contact. You scanned until you see your name fall right next to someone who you would rather forget you treated so poorly. It was there in bright, bold red.

Joel Farabee.

“Aw man,” you and a voice said in unison. You looked up at your side to see that it’s him. Oh dear brother. Did you both just admit out loud that you don’t want to sit next to each other? You and him rolled your eyes at each other, huffing that you’ll be forced to be in each other’s presence.

And you knew he was thinking some sort of variation of what you were: how dare your teacher.

You trudged over to your seat and plopped down. He threw down his stuff and sat next to you. You could sense his extreme dislike for your rather serious demeanor. Hey, you could crack a smile.

Just not around him. And for the life of you, you couldn’t figure out why. It’s almost like if you did, you knew you would never stop...

You both avoided eye contact, you played with your pencil as he yelled to one of his friends across the classroom about some stupid video game.

And that’s just how it was for weeks. You’d both come in, sit down, he’d scream to his friends, you’d fight shooting him a really dirty look.

Until one day, you accidentally did. Now, later when you told Luna, you swore up and down you didn’t mean to, and it was just the fact that seventh period gym was terrible (but when was it not). Okay, so maybe you were fed up with him yelling about whatever rap song came out, or whatever Instagram model popped up on his feed (that made you shutter).

But what you did wasn’t really admittedly the nicest.

“Joel, do you always have to yell so freaking loudly?” you snapped.

He feigned a stunned expression, or maybe he really meant it, who knows what goes on in that boy’s seemingly empty head.

“Do you have to be such a downer…like all the time? Kinda ruins the vibe bro.”

You rolled your eyes. “Thanks Joel, because the number one thing I care about is ruining your ‘vibe’,” you put that word in air quotes, “and not getting any work done in this class, bro.”

Now he rolled his eyes. “Look, you could benefit from loosening up a little, you know? You’re kind of just, not a fun person.”

A look of real hurt flashed across your face. One that he caught. “No,” you punctually state. Then you turn your seat so you completely have your back to him and you’re facing the board.

Meanwhile Luna and your table-mates watched the whole situation unfold. Okay, and maybe most of the class.

And when the bell rang and he called your name, you simply decided you didn’t hear it.

“He’s calling you,” Luna prodded.

You just shook your head as you continued down the hallway to the bus. On the bus, you had some thinking to do.

Did he really think of you as...boring? You usually didn’t let the immature words of boys get to you, but this, this really hurt.

---------------------------------

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it,” Luna insisted that evening while lying on your bedroom floor that same Friday evening.

“Yes he did, and he’s kind of right,” you begrudgingly conceded. “I haven’t been the nicest to him,” you sigh into your hands, “and maybe I should be.”

“Well, what’s stopping you?” Luna curiously asked.

“I, I don’t know.”

---------------------------------

The following Monday, you winced and leaned into Luna as you approached the classroom. To say you were terrified is an understatement.

But you took a deep breath, held your head high, and locked your face into a neutral expression. You never let anyone get the best of you, and you weren’t going to let Joel out of all people be one of the first.

Luna offered a small sympathetic smile as she made her way to her seat.

Your heart beated out of your chest anticipating his arrival. Sure enough, you caught him out of the corner of your eye. He took his time and strutted around the room to talk to all the friends he had. He was obviously looking to avoid you, too.

Coward.

Eventually, he made his way to his seat. He cleared his throat, but you didn’t budge. Ever heard of being saved by the bell?

“I’m going to hand back everyone’s quizzes from last class,” your teacher announced. You audibly groaned. That quiz did not go well. Who puts diamonds and boxes and something called factoring in math?

Sure enough, she shoved a C- into your sweaty hands.

“Dang,” you whispered.

You glanced over at Joel’s paper. 100%.

Are you kidding me?

His prying eyes had the audacity to spot your C-, as if you didn’t pry on his paper seconds before.

“That’s rough,” he said, trying to make eye contact with you.

“I- um, yeah, it is,” you choked out with your eyes still glued on your paper.

His heart broke when he heard your wavering voice. He had to do something.

“Can I see it?” He quietly asked, when quiet usually isn’t typically his demeanor.

You furrowed your brows in confusion. “Uh, sure?”

He took the paper and started drawing stars around the C- mark, very messily, may you add.

You went to take the paper back, but he moved it away from your grasp.

“One second,” he pleaded. He stuck his tongue out in concentration.

You tried to see how badly he was defacing your quiz, but the position of his arm prohibited you from peering over to see.

“Done,” he proudly said as he slid the paper back over to you.

Instead of a plain old C-, there was now...a C- with stars around it.

“Joel, this is very lovely and all, but why the stars around the C-?”

He smiled with his sickeningly sweet toothless grin, and your heart absolutely backflipped into oblivion.

“That’s not a C-,” he goofily joked, “that’s the moon, y/n,” he said through a smile. “See it?”

You looked up from your paper and looked at him in the eye. Your hands shook from adrenaline, your heart was fluttering, goodness, you didn’t know how you could feel any lighter.

That smile was going to be the death of you.

“Yeah, Joel,” you cracked a smile, “I do see it. Thank you,” you sincerely said.

Crack a smile.

You cracked a smile.

His heart skipped a beat. He knew instantly he was going to do whatever it took to keep that smile on your face for as long as possible. He didn’t care what he would have to do.

He smiled once more, and he turned to his buddies to shield his face from you. He didn’t want you to see how red it was turning. He proceeded to explain to them how perfect his stars were and how no one could top them. Something along the lines of “Bro, you have to see this one, it’s so perfect bro…” He also told them how he made you feel better while slapping his chest, for some reason, as in yeah, I made the mopiest girl in school smile. He sounded like he was priding himself on it.

His smile, the way he talked about you, those freaking stars. You’d let him draw those all over your arm instead any day.

At that age, you may not have known why there were letters in algebra, but you knew that the way he made you feel wasn't the same as you did with your two other crushes back in middle school. This just felt...absolutely weird.

But absolutely right.

And that’s the story of how at just fourteen years old, you knew you were absolutely screwed.

[overthinkinglotr]

Aragorns ranked based on how funny they are

5.Rankin-Bass Aragorn:

Shows up late in the movie with little explanation. Gandalf’s like “you should do a suicide-mission march on the Black Gate” and Aragorn’s like “eh sure I guess I wasn’t planning on doing anything else today.”

All in all he’s not as funny as the other Aragorns, but he gets points for Just Rolling With It and for that sick helmet.

Funniness Level: 7/10 love how his fashion sense is the polar opposite of Bakshi Aragorn

4.Musical Aragorn:

The musical in general is a hilariously amazing mess and I love it. It was also drastically rewritten many times over its run, so Aragorn’s characterization varies depending on the version.

In the the bootleg I listened to, I *think* what they were going for was. 

Aragorn hides his true identity from everyone until the second act. Then he finally reveals he’s the Lost King of Gondor to Boromir, as Boromir is dying. And while that’s a compelling idea it’s also funny bc Boromir’s just like:

“Dude--”

“You couldn’t have told me this sooner???????”

If I remember right the musical implies that Arwen is also one of the few people Aragorn has told about his true heritage? I think this means Musical!Aragorn apparently only reveals he’s the Lost King to a) the pretty girl he’s crushing on and b) the handsome man he has homoerotic subtext with. VALID

Funniness Level: 9/10 your crush would probably be more impressed to hear you were the Lost King of Gondor if they weren’t busy dying from multiple arrow wounds

3. Book Aragorn:

FUN FACT: Aragorn sings more in the books than he does in the actual musical. The musical cut all of Aragorn’s songs. The cowards.

He’s only a “loner” for the Aesthetic....... He makes the hobbits feel sorry for him by saying “a hunted man often wearies of mistrust and longs for friendship” right before introducing them to his friend Glorfindel, and his friend Elrond, and his friend Arwen, and oh yeah he’s friends with Bilbo too, and---

Also. There’s a moment in the “Tale of Aragorn and Arwen” where Aragorn’s like “I’m in love with Arwen” and Aragorn’s mom says “well she’s out of your league” and Aragorn responds “so I have to be sad and alone for all my life???” and his mom is like “yup.” Iconic

Aragorn has way too many names and way too many of them have to do with his long legs. Strider, Wingfoot, Longshanks, Telcontar (Strider in Elvish, the last name he takes as King.) He’s got 50 names and half of them are variations on “Daddy Long Legs”

Funniness Level: 100/10 would be a lot higher but I deducted points bc I’m kinkshaming his obsession with legs

2.Peter Jackson Aragorn: 

PJ Aragorn is so terrified of the burden of being king that he tries to hide from it. He just wants to be free.

In the Two Towers Aragorn and Eowyn discuss what to do with an unruly battle-scarred horse. Aragorn tells Eowyn that the horse should be set free.

It doesn’t matter if the horse is kingly. It doesn’t matter if, as Eowyn says, he’s a  royal horse that once belonged to the king’s son. Because the horse is sad.

Even if he’s a kingly royal horse, he is very sad.  

People are expecting too much from the horse and it’s making him scared!!!! He’s not a bad horse, he’s just panicking because he feels trapped!!!! So they should set him free, Aragorn insists. He just wants to be free.

“He has seen enough of war,” Aragorn says as he walks away. And you wonder if he’s talking about the horse............... or himself.

Because PJ-Aragon just wants to be free! Free, like the horses! He relates to the horses! The horses are like him, because they too feel trapped and they’re rebellious and unruly and desperately long for freedom!!!!!!!!! 

“You just don’t understand me, mom Elrond!!!!!”

Funniness Level: 20000000/10, he’s the protagonist of a Horse Girl Movie who somehow stumbled into a fantasy epic

Ralph Bakshi Aragorn:

Ralph Bakshi Aragorn is serious, sober, noble, and regal. 

John Hurt voices him, and his performance is honestly one of the best parts of the movie. He’s legitimately a good Aragorn!!! And on paper, he seems like he would be the least funny Aragorn. 

But just.

Just.

He’s a Very Serious Aragorn but he dresses like:

The hobbits walk into the Prancing Pony and Aragorn’s sitting in the corner, no pants, with his bare legs stretched out like he’s trying to seduce them.

And no one ever comments on this!!!! Aragorn is always Rolling to Seduce but none of the other characters acknowledge it!!!!!

Then there’s the animation. The Bakshi film was made by a team of inexperienced animators who relied on tracing over live-action footage as a crutch, which is why the animation looks Like That(tm). The character’s faces float around their heads and their movements, especially in the battle scenes where the live-action reference wasn’t that good, are always.......hmmmmmm. 

 Aragorn vs Ringwraith WHO WOULD WIN???

Funniness Level: 3000000000000/10 sparks joy

[dontcallmecarrie]

Replying to the commenter of this snippet, who said:

oh i love it when a normaly controlled character just has a moment to let loose and everyone around them, that only know them in some variation of "placid" know shit will go down now ^^ also is there a hint of friendship with victor or are they just professional aquainted? thanks for the snippet

.

Friend, you hit the nail on the head of why I wrote it. 

This AU’s Justin is normally very self-controlled, sometimes almost to a fault— because for so long he’s been used to “being the bigger man” and “setting an example” [sure, most of the times he chose it because the actual adults were busy being overgrown toddlers], but that also means that when he loses it...

Well. As you saw, it’s not pretty. 

Also because while he normally leans hard on the ‘affable’ part of ‘affable villain’ in most of the installments of this AU, so a rare instance of him losing his temper is hopefully a good reminder of exactly what alignment he is. 

aka writing villain protagonists isn’t easy for me, if I don’t check myself they turn into anti-villains instead...which was not the goal of this thought exercise

As for his dynamic with Victor von Doom: in an earlier part, I mentioned they were childhood friends, kinda. They went to the same boarding school and were study buddies and had the weirdest friendship just about anyone could’ve thought of— barring Justin’s frenemies-slash-rivals-slash-idek-anymore dynamic with Tony— and didn’t even know each other’s names until after Victor got pulled out of boarding school because of reasons related to his country’s destabilization [his family had a lot of pull in Latveria and kept him abroad as much as possible for safety reasons, but when things really started to hit the fan they couldn’t afford to split their assets anymore].

Next time Justin saw his closest-thing-to-an-actual childhood friend’s name, it was on a request from a group who wanted to buy Hammer weapons for reasons relating to the bloody civil war going on.

Had Justin not recognized the name, the proposal would’ve been rejected; Victor’s group was technically classified as insurgents because they didn’t have official government backing [...because good luck getting anything of the sort in the middle of a civil war with multiple factions going on] and the political situation was, as analysts called it, a Tire Fire™ at best. 

So. 

Getting involved was risky at best and long story short, yeah, Justin may or may not have broken quite a few national and international laws to get Victor the weapons he needed.

After all, Victor was a relative unknown; a budding warlord whose motivations and goals were uncertain, and in retrospect, a handful of childhood memories was an incredibly risky gamble.

But it paid off.

And that’s the kicker, isn’t it?

If not for those first few shipments, Victor’s group would have just been one of the many that got wiped out. Because towards the end, they were reusing as much ammo as they could, some of their guns were Frankensteined abominations that were as liable to blow up in their faces as they were to shoot but it’s not like they had any better options, not as the fighting escalated and more and more factions tried to take advantage of any and every perceived weaknesses.

Instead, however, Victor von Doom became a national hero as Latveria went from ‘somewhere between Somalia and Yemen’ in terms of stability, straight to a Wakanda-esque powerhouse. 

probably not a great comparison, but a) both are super isolationist, b) industrialized powerhouses, and c) have a single leader

And now, Victor von Doom is the leader of a country that did a 180 on par with... quite a few historical precedents that make a lot of people very uncomfortable with the parallels. 

Latveria’s taken seriously at the international level, it has to be. Victor is hailed as a genius and dictator and everything in between, scion of one of its oldest families and with diplomatic immunity with just about any country he can name.

The man who has it all— and remembers how he got there.

If not for those first few shipments...

Victor von Doom owes Justin Hammer more than he can name. 

So, so much more, because part of Victor had never really expected to see the end of the fighting, let alone live to oversee his home country’s rebuilding.

His strange childhood friend became a kingmaker sometime when the world wasn’t looking, and it’s a secret the two of them will take to their graves.

So if Justin has an idea? Well, he’ll listen. 

It’s the least he can do.

.

...aka hopefully that gives you a better idea of their dynamic? 

That was the first time Justin really got his hands dirty: a risky gamble based off the world’s [second-]weirdest childhood friendship, but it paid off so well the CIA actually came calling asking for why he was on first-name terms with Latveria’s dictator and he had to explain they used to know each other in boarding school and were just now catching up.

For the record, Tony is incredibly jealous when he first gets wind of their friendship because excuse you, he was the one who knew Justin since they were kids! So what if they’re rivals, he was there first!!! 

To the point where someone probably ends up side-eyeing him and asking if he and Justin were exes, because Tony keeps going ‘what does he have that I don’t?’ because Justin’s been spending all his time with Victor now that he’s in town for the UN summit and dammit, they’d had plans.