#(but this specifically showed for this one today after someone did it for an older post)

[taichi-x-koushiro]

Thank you to everyone who got me to 100!

[mybworlds]

Into your arms, the safest place

pairing: olderboyfriend!Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: You love Joel, you always have and you do everything you can to remind him of it every day.

Warnings: unspecified age gap, he's older than you, Joel is an insecure, back pain, use of you and Joel pov, not Y/N, the main character has female features, but no specific physical description so you can imagine her as you want. Established relationship, fluff moments, moments of daily life, hints of a sexual relationship, but in this one shot I'll be quite generic although some moments are precise if you know what I mean.

A/N: After reading a few posts about Joel, headcanons, etc my mind gave birth to this one-shot. I hope you like it, if you don't it's okay.

You love Joel. And he loves you. You both would do anything for each other. Even put up with things that the other finds enjoyable, but the other finds them indifferent. For example, Joel loves watching 80's movies, you keep him company, but only because you love to see his face relax and smile in front of some scene that he adores or makes him laugh and you enjoy the sight of his face relaxing for those films even if to your eyes they seem banal or unlikely. And you know that he watches reality shows with you on the couch just because he wants to see you happy by his side or watches stupid cat videos on Tiktok with you just because you giggle when you watch them waving your legs for fun.

You think about how far you've come together to be there, how many lies you've had to tell to see him, how many arguments and tantrums you've had with your parents because of your age difference.

You and Joel met at your parents' house, he had come to fix some things that were no longer working at home and that's where you shook hands and smiled warmly for the first time. You remember that you immediately found him sexy as hell, a little taciturn and brusque perhaps, but not to be criticized or despised as your mother did. At first you were around him just to follow the work he was doing, then slowly you started talking about his work, your work as a teacher, about your lives and you liked each other.

But, because of your age, Joel has always kept you at a distance in the hope that sooner or later you would meet a young man of your age rather than someone like him, a man of experience, a man with a broken marriage and a grown-up daughter who lives far away, but you've never seen other kids your age. Your best friends have also tried to dissuade you from the idea of being with Joel, but they have never succeeded even today when they ask you if you regret your choice, you always said that you love him as he is with his infinite merits and many defects.

Joel has always been afraid of losing you, he was afraid - and you're sure he still is - of losing you that you'd find him too old for you or too unattractive considering his gray hair that sprout here and there among his hair and beard every other day. But you always managed to reassure him and make him feel all your love and put aside his fears.

You managed to arouse Joel's interest from the very first moment, from when you were standing in the doorway watching him work and then you fascinated him when you transmitted to him all your love and your dedication to your work. You are a beautiful person, he remembers thinking from the very beginning. Your energy was clearly visible from the first glance and then, knowing you, he was sure of it. When you shyly confided in him that you had fallen in love with him, Joel thought it was a joke because there was no way a wonderful woman like you could want an old man like him. He later told you that he was flattered by your interest, but he pushed you to look at other boys, not at him. And you, in response, kissed him.

It wasn't easy at first because Joel realized that your family turned their backs on you because you chose him. He has always felt guilty about this, but you have never blamed him or reproached him for that. You chose him and the love you have for each other.

The days turned into weeks, the weeks into months and you still haven't gotten tired of him. Every evening when he comes home from work, you welcome him with a warm smile and kiss him happily.

This evening you get up from the table where you correct your students' homework and go to meet him, smiling and kissing him.

“You are beautiful, my love,” he whispers in your ear, kissing your lips first, your cheek then and burying his nose in your hair, while he hugs you tightly and feels you kiss the crook of his neck.

“I missed you,” you coo softly kissing his graying beard, his chin and back up the other side, “You are hot as hell, babe.” It's amazing how it seems like you can almost sense what he's feeling about his scruffy beard and his increasingly graying hair.

He smiles. He remembers how uncomfortable he felt in the early days when his few friends told him that he was probably having a midlife crisis dating a hot chick like you. He blushed, maybe they were right, although he loved (and loves) you deeply. For him you were never a passing thing to be forgotten in some time, as his friends told him, you were and are always more. He's so deeply in love with you.

“I prepared a dish for you, love,” you tell him wrapping your arms around his neck “I guess you didn't eat anything, right?” You ask thoughtfully and he loves that about you too. He makes sure to tell you this every day because he's always so afraid that you might realize one day that you want more, that you want a different person by your side, that he is not enough for you.

“You're still my wonderful, gorgeous girl,” he whispers in your ear. “I'm a lucky man,” he adds, gently kissing your earlobe and you shiver. He can clearly see the shivers rippling across your skin, and when they do, he places more kisses along your neck and shoulder. He loves hearing you giggle and holding you tighter. “How was your day?” He asks, nuzzling his nose against yours.

“Full, but you know I love my boys. They are always so full of creativity, energy, and then they are incredibly challenging. And. . . What?” you pause, noticing the small smile forming at the corners of his lips.

“When you talk about your students, your eyes light up.” he replies, smiling widely “I'd only go back to school if I had a teacher who knows what she's doing and who teaches with a smile on her face like you always do.”

Your smile becomes even wider if possible, “Why, what was your teacher like? Miss Rottenmeier?” you joke.

He shakes his head smiling, “No, but she wasn't beautiful as you are, baby girl.” You relax against him “Anyway, I was thinking that tomorrow night we could go out to dinner, would that be okay with you?”

“Sure, now let's go have dinner, I'm starving!” you exclaim grabbing his hand and leading him to the kitchen.

“You haven't had dinner yet?! Oh, poor lil thin’, I'm sorry.” He says as you sit down to eat "I'm sorry, I thought that considering the time you had eaten!" He adds sincerely sorry.

“You know that if you don't come back I won't be able to relax and eat.” You reply, biting with great gusto into the vegetable pie you had prepared.

The two of you talk at length about the new project that Joel is personally involved in, what he does, what he thinks he's going to do. His eyes light up and then you can't help but notice the passion and the energy he puts into talking about his work. It's something you've always loved about him. You remember when he told you about the fixes he was doing to your parents' house and all the technicalities he used. He probably noticed how you pursed your lips or the look on your face that you didn't understand what he was talking about and so he rephrased his words and from that moment on you never stopped talking.

You think back to that night of your first kiss, you remember how you were afraid of being rejected, but at the same time you didn't want to lose him. You noticed his ears turn red and his tone hesitant after your confession, but you knew what you wanted and most of all you wanted him.

He has always made you feel good, treated you well and with respect, he makes you happy in everything, even if he is tired after a day of hard work, just to see you happy, he would take you out to dinner. But you never asked for anything more from him than love and mutual respect.

You remember the first time you made love, you had already had other experiences, but in his arms it seemed like you had never done it, that you were still a virgin. You made love against each other's foreheads, your hot breaths mingling, your vision blurred with pleasure, even though you did everything you could to look into his eyes and don't miss a single expression of his. His hands gently cupping your face as he kissed you and thrust in and out of you sending jolts of pure pleasure up your spine.

“Whadda ya thin’?” he asks looking into your eyes and seeking your hand which he wraps in his and caresses it with a thumb.

“I was thinking about when we made love,” you answer smiling at him lasciviously "and when we met."

His smile becomes tender and his eyes sweet and soft looking almost like a puppy's. Oh, you love so much his well defined masculine features, his wrinkles.

“And I thought you never wanted to show me one of your photo albums! I'd love to see that so much,” you squeak, looking at him with doe eyes that you know make him melt.

Joel has jealously hidden them from your sight, not because he has something to hide, but because he is afraid that you might realize how old he is compared to you and that you might like him better the way he was. And so he always delayed that moment by telling you tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, but now what excuse can he make up?

“Oh, c'mon, babe, I'd love so much,” you meow using a pleading tone and kissing him in a quick, gentle motion. You know he won't be able to resist. And in fact, he rolls his eyes and after muttering a stubborn lil’ thing to you, he wipes his lips and a little piece of food on his scruffy beard, he gets up and you see him disappear into the corridor.

A couple of minutes later, he reappears in the doorway with an open album in his hands and his gaze lost in a photo. Then he looks up and immediately finds your curious, “There it is,” he says placing the heavy tome in front of you on the table “I hope you're not disappointed by the comparison between what I was and what I am.” He says with his head down, putting his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

Your expression becomes surprised and sad because you understand that Joel is afraid of losing you and that you might find him less attractive today than in photographs when he was younger.

“Never.” you just whisper to him, holding out your hand which he immediately grabs, while you invite him to sit next to you.

His photographs show a decidedly younger Joel, the wrinkles are much less visible and superficial, the beard is less thick and sparser, the expression is more tender and shy, but his eyes are always the same sweet and deep, the same ones that made you fall in love with him.

“You are so beautiful,” you whisper “and I’m so in love with you and I’m so lucky to have you by my side.” You add kissing him softly.

“Boo,” he says rubbing his nose against yours “I'm the lucky one.” He says kissing you “And I will do anything to make you happy, but please, if you ever realize that you are no longer happy with me, just tell me.”

You know you're not going to calm him down by just telling him it'll never happen, so you say, “You know me. You know how stubborn and determined I am.”

He rests his forehead against yours, “I know. And that's also why I love you, my love.” He confesses to you, while you sit on his lap. You love feeling his hands on your hips or when he holds you tightly to him. Joel, even if he doesn't speak, is able with his gaze or with his gestures to make you feel like the luckiest woman in the world. So when he tells you that if you are no longer sure of your love for him, you would also like to tell him that no one has ever made you feel as special as he does.

“Oh, baby,” he groans, pulling you closer to his crotch, “if I didn't have this terrible back pain, I'd take you in my arms and we'd go to bed right away.” He confesses to you in a hoarse voice.

“Oh, damn!” You exclaim, moving away from him and getting up from on top of him, he looks at you puzzled, “Come on, get up, let's go to bed.” He looks at you with that lewd look and you roll your eyes and snicker, “Don't be so smart, come on.”

When you're in bed, you don't really know how long you can resist him if while you're giving him a back massage he keeps grunting and moaning telling you how good you make him feel. You are practically sitting on his ass while massaging his spine, shoulder blades and hips.

“Oh, fuck, baby,” he moans “I love you so much,” he adds in a whisper and you smile.

“Why do I give you amazing massages?” you tease him, continuing to move your open palms first along his back and then closing them into fists.

“Because no one has ever understood me like you do. With you, there's no need for many words. We understand each other with our eyes.”

“Are we soulmates or not, you and I?” You ask him and receive another moan of pleasure in response. “I’ll take that as a yes.” You add playfully.

He is so grateful for what you are doing. And when you say you are soul mates, he couldn't agree more. You are the perfect woman for him. Sometimes a little chatty, but other times the most understanding even without saying anything to you. He never thought it possible to find a love you. True love. He had always been convinced that his other half had been his ex-wife and that once he was alone, he would never have a real chance again. Then one day you came along and that was the moment he started breathing again. He thought that a young woman like you would get tired of him in a few weeks, but that's not the case. You are there for him, when he wants to vent about a problem, when he talks about his daughter who gives him a lot of trouble, when he wants to watch old movies, you listen to him, give him advice, support him and you watch movies with him, you lie down with your head on his lap and watch them with him. And he who never understood the meaning started following various trends just because you showed them to him and watching videos on Tiktok with you. And he started to love it.

“I love you, baby girl.” he says, caressing your legs in a sweet gesture. Your skin crawls as you continue. "I can feel it," he moans with his eyes closed as he continues his caress.

“What?” you ask leaning forward and placing a kiss on his shoulder, savouring the contact with his skin filling him with kisses.

He smiles, “Are you trying to seduce me?” He asks you, as you lean on top of him and brush his cheek against yours.

“I don't need to do this.” you say kissing his lips and he opens his hazel eyes “Never doubt how I feel about you, I love you and you know that in your arms I am perfectly safe. I love you, babe.”

He shifts slightly making you move from on top of him and lie down next to him where you cuddle and then make love again and again.

Joel loves the idea of you carrying his child, but he's afraid to broach the subject with you because you're young and maybe you don't want kids, maybe not yet. So he has never told you or pressured you in any way, but when he is completely buried inside you he can't help but think what it would be like if you told him you were carrying his child.

You moan deliciously in his ear his name as he makes you come and you intertwine his fingers with yours. Tonight Joel is making you enjoy like never before by giving you more than one climax. You are almost exhausted, some tears escape you and he wipes your tears away with his thick thumbs, whispering to you in a low, hoarse voice, “s’alright, baby girl, you're such a good girl fo’ me” wrapping you in his arms while you twist your face into an expression of pure pleasure as you collapse on top of him.

“I love you,” you say “Into your arms, there's the safest place”.

[d3vilcvntz]

PLSS WRITE MORE LEON 🙏🙏 that’s all im requesting but if you could make something rough w/older leon and younger reader??

leon s kennedy x top male reader

a/n : reader is around 24 and leon is 34 (10 years age gap). leon is afab again (obsessed with afab leon mb), reader's gender isn't really specified but written to have a dick

you've always looked up to him, he's the reason why you wanted to became a cop in the first place. something about him, attracts you. thankfully, your parents is quite powerful so you got yourself in the same place as him. working with him is your dream ever since he saved you when you were a teen. he might not remember you, but he's been on your mind since then

you were lucky enough to finally get him as your partner later on. all the sweat and tears were all worth it because now you're finally assigned together. actually working by his side feels so unreal for you. after months of being together and you basically flirting with him all the time, it finally happened.

you both were drunk and one thing lead to others. you confessed to him and he accepted, though he did hesitate at first because of your age gaps but still, it very much surprised you that he actually have feelings for you since you entered the agency but never really have the courage to say it to your face. he never really have time for relationships as he was always busy with works, but you were glad that he's willing to be in one with you.

it's your anniversary today, it has been 2 years since you've been together with him and everything went smooth. though, you did ended up arguing with him a few days ago.

it was over some stupid stuff. he keep saying things about how being with someone's old like him isn't really ideal and you should find someone your age. he even suggested for you to see other people that will suit you better, which breaks your heart a little because how can he suggested something like that when he knows that you love him very much :( don't he understand that you only wanted him and he's the only one that's perfect for you ?

but, you do understand his worries, he think too much about what others said. 10 years is a lot to others, but to you? you don't really care, he can be 50 and you'll still love him nonetheless.

and tonight, is the time you'll show him, how much you love him.

you prepared the room with flower petals on the floor, lightly scented candle on top of the bedside table, and a towel laid in the middle of the bed. now you're just waiting for him to come home, sitting on the edge of the bed, playing with your phone

he came home a few minutes later, with flowers in his hands, surprised by your preparations, he gave you a big smile "happy anniversary" he said, passing you the flowers "i..apologise for what i said before. i wasn't thinking right and i know that i hurt your feelings that time" he said, putting his hand on your face "it's okay, i am not mad about it anymore. it's our anniversary, so let's enjoy it to the fullest" you responded, putting your hand on top of his

the flowers he gave you are truly beautiful, but not as beautiful as him, laying on the bed. legs spread, face flushed. you specifically told him to wear a special made lingerie for him. it suits him perfectly, the white laces looks really good on him.

pushing the panties aside to take a look at his pretty pussy. playing with his clit and spreading his hole. it's so wet that you're sure you don't even need the lube. blowing air on it to make him shivered. "hurry" he demanded. he's so cute when he act like this , but you can't give in tonight. you thought of something that you've always wanted to try. suddenly raising your hand and

plap !

the sounds of his wet pussy meets your hand. his eyes were wide, mouth opened, feeling shocked of your sudden moves. you didn't say anything though, just flashed him your usual smile

plap !

"w-wait! stop" he said, trying to push your hands away "hmm you sure? looks like you're enjoying this" you teased him again, putting your fingers in his hole, your fingers sliding in so easily from how wet he is. sweet moans leaving his pretty lips. as he was enjoying it, you pulled your fingers out, which caught him off guard. as he was about to say something, you raise your hand again

plap !

you spank his pussy again "what...? what was that for?" he asked, confused and aroused at the same time. face flushed from embarrassment, he never felt like this before. he had no idea why you're doing this all of the sudden, like you're treating him more rougher than you ever did before. he's not used to this but, he doesn't hate it ♡

you didn't answer, instead, you land another spank on his pussy making him shuddered. he tried to struggle to get away from you but your grip is just too strong !

plap !

again

plap !

and again

plap !

as you spanked his pussy for the last time, he squirted all over your palm. you were shocked to see how he became just from being spanked on his pussy, guess he's really enjoying this.

tears are forming in his eyes, looking up at you. you just flashed him a smile before sitting right above his face, pulling out your dick from your underwear.

"suck" you told him. he was hesitant but did as he told. as he was going down on you, you pushed his head, forcing your cock to the back of his throat.

he was struggling to breath, hands gripping your thighs. you pull out, just to push it all in again. you were using him like a toy.

it felt too good for him, the way your cock reaches all the way to the back of his throat made his mind all blank, all he can think of is your cock ♡ the more you thrusts, the more he feels like he couldn't breath but, don't ever stop, because he's very much enjoying this.

you came deep inside his throat, making him swallowed it all. he knew that you weren't done with him as you grabbed the lube that you specifically put on the bedside and pour it all over your hand. "let's try something new" you said, moving his hair out of his face

before he even had the time to respond to what you just said, you push a finger in his asshole, the excessive amounts of lube making it quite easy to slide in. "feels weird" he whimpered, you shush him, playing with his clit to distract him from this unfamiliar feelings. slowly, you keep adding fingers until you feel like he's stretched enough

you positioned your dick right in his asshole. "w-wait" you slowly pushed your dick inside him, stretching him out. he's still quite tight despite all the stretching you did earlier. his hands gripping the sheets. you kiss him and played with his clit to ease him.

you finally pushed your cock all in, his pussy's juice dripping all over your hand. you started thrusting slowly but becoming rougher and faster as he eventually get used to it

you fingered his pussy as you thrust your dick inside of his asshole. his moans filling up the room "im close" he said, hands gripping your shoulders

you pushed his legs further to his chest, thrusting your dick deep inside him. your thrusts becaming sloppier now that you're close. you came inside him after a few more thrusts and he squirted all over himself right after. he's so easy to squirt <3 you're glad that you laid the towel down on the bed before or you'll have to do extra cleaning later on.

you pulled out and laid beside him, his head on your chest

"what was that all about ?"

he asked, his fingers drawing circle on your chest

"proving my love to you"

[oh-no-its-bird]

Obkk modern au where where Kakashi and Obito are online friends who have never seen eachothers faces. It's a years long friendship (and mutual silent crush) where they've helped eachother through what was truly the darkest parts of eachothers lives.

But irl they also happen to know eachother from childhood due to having gone to the same schools and shared the same classes, and they fucking DESPISE the other. You can not stick them in a room without someone starting a fight.

When they interact irl, play into specifically the early dynamics of obkk, with kind of superficially happy/dumb Obito and a "follow the rules to the letter" grumpy overachiever Kakashi

But when they're online, play more into the older obkk dynamic.

Where Obito shows that he has a pretty big mean streak/humor and a serious talent for playing dumb; where he overlays his happier side irl for just social reasons.

While Kakashi shows he's actually super lazy and imperfect with most other factors of his life outside of work/school (and ofc downplays his actual work ethic when it comes to work/school, framing himself as doing bare minimum when he should really do more (bc he genuinley believes that)) and has a pretty wicked sense of humor himself, a love of over-romantic, fluffy porn, and a habit of using endless "cute" emotocons

Kk: Did my proposal today, it was so bad... I really slacked off this time on it. I was so nervous they'd tell me no (｡﹏｡")

Kk: I guess the other presentations must have been pretty bad too because they picked mine anyways? I feel so lucky (╥﹏╥)

Ob: it's ok even if you tried your best!! Im proud you were able to do even as much as you did.

Ob: I'm glad you got it, at least one of us won their proposal today. That jackass had a fucking 30 slide detailed slide with 6 DIFFERENT PIE CHARTS and a scheduled water break inbetween. Fucking kissass

Kk: nooo im sorry ( •̯́ ^ •̯̀)

Ob: it's whatever. Just glad you got the thing :)

Ob: want me to kill your boss tho.

Kk: lol

Kk: I'll help hide the body ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

And then one day Obito does some sort of very mean prank on Kakashi. And it goes uhh. Badly.

I mean, badly for Kakashi. Obito thinks it went great!

That is till he gets home and finds his best friend for a decade, and crush for even past that decade, texting him about a very specific mean prank that got pulled on them.

Wait. No. Wait. WAIT. FUCK.

So like. Obito is a bit conflicted now. He doesn't know what to really do here??? Like. What if it ruins everything with his best friend??? But also hey best friend why the FUCK are you such a BITCH.

But also also, suddenly Obito is recontextualizing SO many of their interactions— from Kakashi suffering the devistating loss of his father when he was especially annoying, to explanations of why he reacted certain ways. And oh my god Obito is... also a kind of a bitch???

Obito has NO idea what to do and is just swinging so violently back and forth on what are really his only two options.

And sometimes he's like gleefully feeling vindictive bc after arguing with irl Kakashi, online Kakashi is ranting about "that same asshole again" at work, so Obito is like "I KNEW it was getting to u, haha you're NOT better than me after all!!!"

But then later he feels kinda bad about it bc like. Aw wait no he actually might have genuinley hurt the person he loves. And also he doesn't want to lose getting to see the real Kakashi, a mix of both of his masks, by fucking this up and choosing wrong.

Anyways Kakashi finally somehow figures it out on his own, they fight, they make up, they make out.

The end yay happy ending

There's an alternate universe where neither of them every found out about eachother and continued to be friends online and hate eachother to escalating degrees offline. But one day they start to slowly shift in dynamics. Irl they get closer and online they get so much angrier and more distant. Till we've swapped and now online they just have this GIANT fallout but offline they're actually in love now. And this continues till they're about to get married/no longer on speaking terms with eachother. And so on their wedding day they reach out again online but ONLY to hate on eachother like "oooo fuck you I'm so happy rn I just got MARRIED."

"Oh yeah you bitch??? So did I. And my husbands better than anything your ugly ass could ever pull"

"FUCK YOU MY HUSBANDS FUCKING AMAZING AND YOURS IS PROBABLY LOOKS AND ACTS LIKE SHIT"

"OH YEAH????"

"YEAH!!!"

"PROVE IT!"

And then they very sharply turn and take simultaneous photos of eachothers furious faces and then angrily, instinctivley press send.

And then they stop. And then they have a moment of dead silence.

And then they begin to have an actual, physical fist fight in front of the uncut wedding cake with ALL of their friends and families watching. And the photographers with their very ready cameras.

There was a lot of cake.

Yeah that was ah uhh. Interesting

The good news at least is now they have a photo of them fist fighting like they want to kill eachother while covered in wedding cake in a frame that says "happy marriage <3" on it, and they like to joke about it (to many, many peoples horror)

The end yay happy ending x2

If I were to write this fr I think I'd legally have to write both versions bc both are excellent

[poppadom0912]

Hi, Would you make a Halstead!sister where she is a teen and have her very first boyfriend and when she decides to break up with him he hits her. She wants to hide it from her brothers but they found out anyway

Warnings: Abuse and violence, swearing, canon-typical injuries.

A/N: Okay, this fic will be the last one for a while and I mean it this time. Writing this was so random but I got sudden inspo when I found this half written soooo please do enjoy!!

You swear that this wasn't supposed to get as bad as it did.

You were still in high school and it might've been your first boyfriend and it definitely took too many tries to convince your brothers to give you permission to date but somehow, you got it in the end.

Several times, both Jay and Will but mainly Jay, warned you of abusive, manipulative and toxic partners which you knew existed but never thought you would date someone as such.

Joey was nice at first. After inviting him over for dinner a few times, your brothers began to be more lenient towards him though they would never admit it aloud.

Yes, they were still quite wary considering you were both still young and in school but over the course of a few months, you were finally allowed to go on a date alone without them acting as chaperones.

Then, it came to your break up.

During school, you and your best friend found Joey and another girl in your year locking lips against her locker without any shame at all. It was there and then you decided that evening you were going to break it off with him.

The two of you met up in the school car park where he would usually drive you home but unbeknownst to him, you had different plans for that today.

You hated how he was acting so nonchalant, the biggest smile on his face when he noticed you walking up to his car. You felt sick, desperately wanting to smack that smirk off his face.

"Y/N! Baby, I missed you at lunch. Where-" Joey started, opening his arms to embrace you but was cut off.

"Don't call me baby." You said sharply, your tone showing you were being completely serious. "We're done Joey."

Joey blinked, tilting his head to the side in confusion before laughing. "Oh Y/N, you're hilarious! Come on, we're going to my house-"

Once again, you cut him off, harshly shoving his hand off your elbow. "No, I'm being serious Joey. We're breaking up."

His face immediately fell at your words. All of a sudden, with the flip of a switch, he changed completely. It was so fast that it started scaring you.

Before allowing him to get a word in, you turned around so you could walk away and go home on your own but you were held back. A hand was suddenly tightly gripping your wrist, pulling you back towards Joey.

"What the hell!?" You exclaimed, trying to rip your hand out of his but he wouldn't budge.

"Joey, you're hurting me. Let go." You said, trying to reason with him but nothing was working.

You tried to calm him down, Jay's voice in the back of your mind explaining step by step what to do in cases like this but you found yourself frozen, unable to defend yourself alike to how you were taught.

It was all so sudden. One moment you were angrily staring up at Joey and the next you were looking to your left, your right cheek burning as it tingled with numbness.

Both of you were shocked at his actions. Using his shock to your advantage, you pulled your wrist out of his hand, ignoring the burning sensation you felt and ran.

*****

Unfortunately for you, it was a friday night and that meant both your older brothers were at home. Typically, on the weekends, you swapped and went to Will's before going back to Jay's for the weekdays. So that meant Will was at Jay's apartment to pick you up.

You were still breathing heavily as you entered the house, unintentionally slamming the front door shut as you came to your senses.

You were home. You were safe.

"Y/N, are you okay?" Jay shouted from the living room. He heard the door slam and was confused since he knew he specifically told you to never slam doors.

"Uh- yeah." You hesitated, licking your lips as you answered. "I'm, I'm good."

"You're red and sweaty- did you run all the way here?" Jay asked after a moment of studying you, taking note of your red cheeks and sweat collecting forehead.

"Yeah I did, I'm bursting for the toilet." You quickly thought of an excuse, lying about why you ran home.

Before he could reply, you dashed past him towards the bathroom to keep up with said lie.

"Hey Y/N-Oh..." Will words were lost as he watched you disappear as quick as he saw you.

"What's up with her?" Will asked, looking confusingly at Jay and down the hall where you disappeared.

"I'm not sure."

****

Joey went back to disturbing you as soon as monday came. The weekend seemingly getting on his nerves because he was buzzing monday morning to the point that you turned back around whenever you saw him.

But you could only run so far from him because at the end of the day as you waited for your best friend, he was grabbing you way too hard.

This process only repeated itself for the next two weeks, becoming almost routine where you only missed him for two days overall.

Three weeks since he first laid hands on you, you were now covered in an amalgamation of redness, bruises and finger-shaped marks.

Today though, today something changed.

It was friday, nearly a month since you broke up with Joey and you were walking to Med. Will was supposed to pick you up but his latest patient was causing problems and asked for you to walk to the hospital only ten minutes away.

So you and one of your friends who lived near that area walked together, departing as you reached the ED doors and she walked home.

As you waved her off, your smile bright and hurting still from how much both of you were laughing, you weren't paying too much attention to your surroundings. You didn't think there would be much danger outside a guarded ED but alas.

One second your waving your friend off and the next, your on your hands and knees on the floor. It happened so fast you couldn't comprehend what even occurred.

"What the-"

Someone harshly pulling you up stopped your trail of thought, their grip so tight that you couldn't focus on the burning in your palms and knees.

"Joey! Let me go you dickhead!" You shouted at the boy as soon as you looked up at the perpetrator.

Pulling your wrists from grasp, you grunted when his grip didn't let up, instead it did the opposite and tightened to the point that your hand was starting to go pale.

"Please Joey- Please just let me go and we can talk this out, I promise." You pleaded with him, eyes going glassy when he started pulling you away from the hospital entrance, panic finally setting in.

You tried pulling yourself away, heels digging into the ground to stop him but he was too strong, his height and build giving him an advantage along with being on the football team while you barely even participated in gym.

"Joey your hurting me-" You were cut off when he shoved you up against the wall head first and then repeatedly shoved your head back when you kept talking.

"Shut up bitch!" He almost screeched, hand on your forehead to prevent your head from moving, ensuring your eyes remained on him.

Your vision blurred, head banging with what felt like the worst headache in the universe. Your reply was simply a whine, no words possible due to the pain he inflicted.

His elbow was digging into your torso, your lungs and ribs restricted from any movement because of the pressure.

"J-Jo..." Everything of his increased, his grip, his shouts, the pain he caused.

Your breathing was taken away from you when he suddenly brought his fist to your torso repeatedly.

All of a sudden, he disappeared and you were falling, your legs unable to support you.

Before you could meet the ground, you were caught and being hauled into an embrace you hadn't felt in a decade. The familiar cologne one you bought with your own pocket money and a voice you'd known since birth.

"I've got you Y/N." Will whispered to you, cradling you gently in his arms.

"Ethan, you got him?" Will called out to his colleague but you were so out of it you couldn't see the other doctor.

"I'll handle him, get her inside." Ethan replied as he restrained Joey, his past military training helping him plenty.

The last thing you remembered was Will's reassuring words before everything went black.

*****

"We have to wait for her to wake up to determine how bad the concussion is but besides that, she's okay." Will finished explaining to Jay the prognosis who arrived five minutes ago.

"She's also got old bruises." Jay finally looked up from your face to Will's, anguish clear on the latter's face. "This has been going on for a while now."

Jay was speechless.

He was at a crime scene when Will called him, something neither brother did when they knew the other was at work and despite trying to anticipate what was going to happen, he could never guess it would be this.

Will explained that he and Ethan were taking a quick breather outside together after the death of their last patient when they heard a man shouting and though they couldn't see you, Will easily recognised Joey.

While Ethan subdued Joey, Will wasted no time in getting you to safety and inside the ED where Connor treated you.

There would be no long lasting effects from any of the injuries but they were bound to stick around for a while and they would definitely hurt.

Will couldn't get it out of his memory - seeing your ex boyfriend continuously punching you with no remorse and almost strangling you with the death grip he had. Will saw it every time he blinked and felt like puking.

Jay had walked passed Joey when he entered the ED and to say he felt like throttling the boy was putting it very, very lightly.

But Jay had plans for little Joey, he was more than confident that Voight would let him have a few words with him later. Especially if it involved you - his boss seemed to have a weak spot whenever you were involved, everyone did.

"I need to find Goodwin and get off shift early, I'll be back." Will said. Maggie could only do so much for so long.

Jay hummed. "I've got her, she's not going anywhere don't worry."

Will hadn't been gone for long when you started coming back to. Jay was messaging Hailey, asking for updates on what they were doing with Joey when he felt your fingers twitch in his other available hand.

Jay waited patiently, forcing himself to let you take your time and not rush you just in case. Will mentioned a concussion that they weren't too sure on the extent on its damage.

Your whimpers had his heart in your control, a lump in his throat at you clearly in pain and his inability to cure and rid of all your ills.

Seeing your eyes, the colour so bright under the hospital lights and because of the fear you felt so vividly, Jay found himself unable to breath for a moment.

"Is he gone?" You whispered, voice hoarse as you squinted up at your older brother.

"Yes he is." Jay nodded, ignoring the burning that randomly enveloped his eyes and brushed your hair back with such a feather light touch that you didn't register the gesture. "He's never going to touch or bother you ever again, I promise."

The only response you could formulate was tears, the waterworks instant as soon as the words came out of Jay's mouth.

"Will and I will make sure nothing happens ever again, we promise."

[grison-in-space]

You know, I've been reading things written by people on the internet for my whole life, or at least my whole life after I was about ten. I'm thirty three now. That means there are people whose words I read on the internet twenty years ago who are presumably still around and occupying the internet—sometimes using names I can recognize from back then, too. (hat tip to my fellow "changing usernames is unnatural actually" brethren; I've only changed one myself twice in the whole world since I was about fourteen or fifteen.)

Sometimes I think about a person I see around occasionally on the internet. That person wrote a story about a character in a rather silly fandom we shared, and I read it as a child just beginning to conceptualize being someone whose opinions might matter. And I remember reading that story at some point, because at that age I had a hyperfixation on that character in that fandom at that time and I read pretty much everything in the genre. I never really got to talk to anyone but the inside of my head about it. My friends didn't read fanfiction, and my parents viewed my reading fanfiction as some kind of depraved, shameful secret. Anyway, I read that story and I remember having some kind of deep realization about how adult humans work while I was reading it.

I learned something about the world from that story. (It was one of those insights that are now so molten alongside my core that it's difficult for me to disentangle them from myself, like "people outside you have their own perspective on your behaviors, but that doesn't mean they have to be right.") And I remember that they know it, because they taught it to me, without meaning to. One of the anonymous impacts on readers that writers never see unless they're extraordinarily lucky.

And I smile, because it's lovely to see them again, and they showed me a skill I still use today. We don't have a relationship of any kind—it would be very difficult to recognize me, I think—but they did me a favor a long time ago. And I remember. Now I get to be reminded that this person still exists, and is still a pretty cool human to be around today, at least for the specific circumstance of internet neighbor. Well, and our modern level of concern about once beloved elders from the distant past going terrifyingly cult-addled and bigoted on short notice.

That has not happened in the slightest. They're just still a pretty nice fandom person who is a bit older than me, who is recognizably the same person they have always been, but more intensely and thoughtfully—like a distilled brandy, not a sour vinegar left out on a countertop too long.

Weirdly, that's a thing I find comforting: this tiny, one way, invisible affection. Every so often I feel this intense affection for a person I've never spoken to or about, because I see them and I love them intensely for a moment and then we both go about our days.

Think about how many interactions you have with people as you go about your day. Wouldn't it be nice to imagine that other people feel like that about you?

I think I'm going to imagine that there's one person that read something I said and thinks that about me. I don't need to ever actually know if it's true: I can just imagine someone who happened to be at a formative moment when they learned something against the background of my words. We'll never know each other as our screennames are lost along the years and we move in and out of touch with parts of ourselves, but we still have that little fond impact on one another, those fingerprints in one another's clay.

It's a nicer world to imagine than the one where no one is paying attention to me, or the only people paying attention to me are mean. And there's really no way to ever know for sure, so why not inhabit the pleasant end of the imaginatory pool if you can?

[midwesternvibes]

Alright people, it's time for more Villain Leo lore!!!

Today we are diving into Leo and Splinter's relationship!!!

Read under the cut because this got so LONG, these two have so many issues and there was so much to work with.

Alright, so it's no secret that Leo and Splinter have a....less than ideal relationship. You can see throughout all of TMNT history that Leo looks up to Splinter an insane amount, and Rise Leo is no different.

This boy looked up to Lou Jitsu his whole life, and we can often see him doing the same movements and catchphrases that Lou did. Granted, all the boys do, but Leo seems particularly attached to Lou

And we've all seen the smile comparisons, it's insane how similar his grandiose smile is to Lou Jistu's.

The point is, Leo really looks up to his dad, and we can see this in his actions and attitudes towards not only Lou Jitsu, but also Splinter in canon.

"Trust me pops!"

I mean, just look at how happy he is to be there with his dad, in his element. This episode is Leo at his peak, outsmarting everyone and predicting his family's moments to the letter.

Also, idk about you, but that smile seems incredibly genuine. That's not even a Lou Jitsu smile, that's a 100% Hamato Leonardo smile at his dad whom he looks up to so much.

And what does Splinter say to his son's ask for trust?

"I knew I should have brought Purple!"

....what.

That is his SON. His 14, maybe 15 year old son, who is asking for his father to trust him.

....and he responds by saying that he wishes he had brought his more intelligent twin brother instead, who he has already shown an implied favoritism towards in the past

"And I thought Purple was the funny one!"

"Told you guys I was the funniest."

This is a pretty harmless comment tbh, but Leo takes so much pride in his quips, one-liners and puns that this had to sting a little bit.

There's such a huge amount of content to sift through when it comes to these two, and that fact actually saddens me because I had SO MUCH to pick from when making this post, but here's some highlights.

One thing that I noticed while watching a Splinter and Leo compilation is that during the memory episode, Leo is the only one Splinter directly hits

NONE of the other three were directly hit like this is any point in the episode and yeah, this could totally be played off as a bit or just a case of wrong place, wrong time, but we'll get to my theory later, right now I'm just laying out the facts.

An important detail I'd like to point out here too is Leo's face after the first hit.

Guys, he looks HURT. Donnie and Raph are looking at him, checking that he's okay, but he is looking right past them at the shadow Splinter, who is dressed and looks just like his childhood idol, who just hit him specifically right in the face.

Not only his idol even. No, the most pure and unfiltered representation of his father, the man who's raised him his whole life.

And he just got hit in the face.

Ouch. For a kid as emotive as Leo (who I honestly think feels his emotions even more intensely than Mikey when he lets them out), this is a devastating blow. Literally.

Then, let's talk about this scene, you all knew it was coming.

"Can someone tell my son I am NOT TALKING TO HIM!!"

"You got this pops! I love you!"

Guys this scene hurts my heart. Like, once again, he can't be older than 15 at this point. Yeah he's being a badass stratigiser this whole episode, but you cannot convince me that he wasn't at least a little excited to see his dad, his HERO in action, and wearing a matching outfit as well, and show his dad, his idol and hero, exactly what he's capable of. Leo absolutely worships the ground Splinter walks on and what does his father have to say to his son"s encouragement??

"NO!"

GAHHHH like yes, Leo was kinda being a little shit this whole episode and could have clued his dad in on the plan a little bit, but honestly that could have ruined everything if Splinter had any holdbacks.

Not to mention, this is the only Leo and Splinter episode we get. Donnie gets the derby, Mikey gets the Hidden City bonding, even Raph gets the ending of the memory episode, and in each, they have a genuine moment of bonding with Splinter.

Splinter never ONCE apologized for his actions in this episode. Not once. RAPH is the one who tells Leo in this episode later on that he trusts Leo, something he's been begging Splinter for the entire time.

All of a sudden, this moment doesn't seem so out of place.....

"I love you soooo much!" "No, no you don't, I'm your least favorite!!"

This line could totally just be a throwaway line, but as it was pointed out to me by the wonderful @nardos-primetime, the alarms that the boys did for Google home have a REALLY upsetting one for Leo

Go to about 1:57 and listen to that one and just......cry.

NOW that line in "Rat Flu" makes a LOT more sense. Splinter LAUGHED at Leo when he asked if he was his favorite. LAUGHED at him.

But wait, you may ask. What about the ending? Splinter made Leo the leader, obviously he trusts him!

....yeah, just take a look at their faces here.

Donnie and Mikey are basically horrified beyond belief and in complete shock

Raph is.....blue screening, honestly

And Leo looks completely taken aback and shocked and scared and honestly, I don't blame him. There is absolutely NO precedence for Splinter to do this. He has proved time and time again that he does NOT trust Leo, he never ONCE tells Leo that he trusts him even though he asks for that trust during the entirety of "Unhappy Returns". NONE of them look happy about this new change.

You could see this as Splinter finally giving Leo a chance, but I see this a lot more as one of the more popular Fandom interpretations of Splinter wanting to give Raph a break. Raph had a huge breakdown during the finale and I don't think it's unreasonable for Splinter to have heard of that and decide that his beloved eldest needed a chance to recover.

Who better to pass this burden on to than his least favorite son!

We also see in the movie that this shift in power dynamics really doesn't do much other than create a lot of interpersonal conflict between Leo and Raph, something Splinter does absolutely nothing to help out with, other than telling them to quiet down.

Now that we have all of our evidence (and I put more work into getting evidence for this than for the English project I'm supposed to be doing right now can I just cite this as a source for me being capable of gathering evidence???) we can actually get into the analysis of how this all would affect him.

First of all, I mentioned that I would discuss the repercussions of the memory episode. This analysis is more for Splinter, but I feel like it's still important. We've seen time and time again that Leo is very similar to how Splinter was as a young teen in both looks and attitude. If Splinter truly resents his younger self and how he acted, it would make a lot of sense for him to also subconsciously resent his son who acts a lot like himself at that age. This would cause him to lash out at Leo in his subconscious, the one place where his true thoughts and feelings are on full display.

I just wanna point out his face again here, Leo looks so hurt. He definitely already knows that he's not anywhere near Splinter's favorites at this point, but it still hurts him to see that get confirmed.

This brings me to my next point of Leo's psyche. He is a very confident, witty, smart teenager, but he's still just that. A teenager. He's anxious, insecure, and very self-reliant. He looks to others for praise often and rarely receives it, usually having to hype himself up. His relationship with Splinter only emphasizes these qualities about him and makes Leo look so much worse in Splinter's eyes because his son is just a modern-day representation of his past self.

Now let's put this into perspective of Leo's decent into villainy.

If Leo is hurting and under the impression that his brothers are maybe starting to dislike him, even hate him, adding Splinter on to this can only make it worse.

Maybe he goes to his dad for tips on how to lead when he feels like he can't talk to Raph anymore and needs his father's advice.

Maybe he sets up a dinner for him and Splinter to just chat and bond instead of sitting at the dinner table with another one of Mikey's meals that he feels too sick with anxiety from his little brother's disappointed looks to eat.

Maybe he goes to his father crying from another nightmare after not feeling welcomed in Donnie's lab anymore after they fought for an hour the day before.

And maybe, just maybe, Splinter waves him off every time.

Forgets.

Laughs at him.

I mean, this is a kid who relys on others to build him up, to praise him and love him because after all....

Who is he without his family?

Maybe it's time to find out.

First // Previous // Next

Link to an AMAZING ficlet by the FANTASTIC @beetleviolet

[justmeinadaze]

Secret Underneath Part 10 (Steddie X Plus Size Y/N)

A/N: I bare you an angsty distraction for the day <3. I'm not going to add my Ko-Fi to this post because I want you to keep your money and use it today to do something that brings you peace.

This is your sign to go buy that venti cup of coffee, buy that book you've been wanting to read, or get that shirt you've been eyeing at the store. Go...be <3.

Warnings: Older (Mid thirties) Sugar Daddies Steve and Eddie/ Young (Early to mid 20s) Baby Fem Plus Size Reader, SMUT, of the rougher variety (they are letting off some steam), belt as handcuffs, after care always <3, FLUFF, they love her and she loves them

ANGST *does disco arms on a dance floor of angst*

Mediation begins so we get more insight on Gina, I don't go into detail of her claims (it doesn't matter anyway cause she be lyin!), the guys take her to an event where someone flirts with her (its someone they know and HATE), Y/N insists the guys use her since they've been keeping things in, near the end they talk about why they've been afraid to be rough with her when they are upset, go into a bit more of their relationship with her, cliffhanger ending (because I can :)) but I think you'll like this one.

Word Count: 5199

Series Here

This was a new experience for you when it came to the two men that you loved. 

Today was the day of their mediation to hopefully get things resolved without having to fully go to court. They were dressed from head to toe in their more formal attire with Eddie’s hair pulled back into a ponytail and Steve’s fluffy mane slicked back away from his face. 

Originally they didn’t want you to go but at the last minute the rockstar insisted stating that he didn’t want to hide any of this from you like they had tried to before.

“Like we said, sweetheart, we told you everything but she’s probably going to get a bit more specific about certain things… we never did the things she claimed but we also weren’t exactly good men.”

When Gina and her lawyers came in they both straightened up immediately. 

You couldn’t deny she was a beautiful woman with her long brown hair and fit physique that squeezed a bit too perfectly in her short pink dress that cut off just above her knee. For some reason you were under the impression that she was closer to your age but now that you were able to see her face to face you realized she was closer to theirs. Her piercing blue eyes scanned the room till they landed on you sitting quietly in the back closer to their side. 

As she grinned wide and rose to her feet so did Steve before both lawyers grabbed each person’s wrist and mumbled something while Gina smirked his way. Even after she took her seat again it took the mogul a few more moments before he finally did the same. 

Someone you assumed was a judge or at least in charge started to speak and read out instruction for this particular review. The entire time he spoke, their ex watched them like a lion waiting for prey. She was playing a game she intended to win even if it meant hurting them in the process. 

##############

A couple of days after the mediation, both men were barely in the apartment and when they were you didn’t want to push them. Occasionally, your hand would tenderly run along Steve’s shoulders as he worked and in response he would grab your palm to kiss the back before letting you go to focus again. When you noticed Eddie smoking on the balcony in his sweats but no jacket, you would bring one out to him but as you turned to go back inside, he would wrap his arms around you, bringing your back to his chest as he held you tightly. 

Tonight was an event they couldn’t ignore, hardly covering their distain as their stylist and her team came over to dress them and you up for the evening. 

Just as they had before when you stepped out of the bedroom, both men froze as their eyes took you in. Since this wasn’t exactly an elegant affair, Stephanie had you in a red dress that clung to your curves, showing off your arms and chest a bit more than you were used to. 

“What do you think?”, you ask as you smooth the material around your stomach. “I’ve never worn something that showed off my upper half like this.”

“You look absolutely gorgeous, sweetheart.”, Eddie exhaled breathlessly as he stepped forward to caress your cheek making your eyes flutter at the intoxicating cologne that surrounded him. “Are you comfortable?”

“Yeah, baby. I just…is there a sweater or jacket, Steph?”

The ever gentleman he was, Steve started to remove his own suit jacket before the stylist stepped forward to hand you a matching shawl to wrap around your shoulders. 

“Thank you.”

The mogul softly smiled your way as he tilted down to kiss your forehead. 

“You look beautiful, honey. We need to get you a necklace or something that you can wear. Not that it matters right now, I mean you look breathtaking as is. I was just—”

“Steve!”, you giggle as his friend lightly shoves his arm. “I knew what you meant.”

Eddie’s eyes suddenly light up as he abruptly runs towards the hallway and turns into what was once his old bedroom but was now being used as a place for him to play and record his music. Beaming widely, he saunters back down the hallway with his hands behind his back. 

“Close your eyes.” Biting your lip, you do as he says, smiling just as widely as he had when you felt something cool and flat touch your chest. “I wore this in high school but obviously my jewelry game has gotten WAY better.”, he chuckles and backs away from you. 

Glancing down, you fingers hold up the red guitar pick that was attached to the chain now clasped around your neck. 

“We’ll obviously buy you some more prettier things but—”

Your lips cut him off before you tilt back and wipe away the lipstick that remained. 

“This is perfect, Eddie, thank you.”

***

You weren’t sure what to expect this time around now that people knew you were with them but unless they said any different, you were going to do as you did before. This was their territory not yours and they knew how to navigate the sea of fame better then you ever could. 

“Did you want to take pictures or would you rather wait inside?”, Steve asked as they waited in line to enter the building. 

“You’d take pictures with me?”

His eyes blinked as if you asked one of the most complicated questions he had ever heard. 

“Of course, baby, but only if you’re comfortable.”

“I…I just…I don’t know what to do…”

“You just stand there and look beautiful, princess.”, Eddie grinned.

“I don’t want to embarrass you or anything.”

“What makes you think you would?” When you shrugged, the mogul saw the confidence they loved so much about you slowly receding from your eyes for fear of ruining something you perceived as important to them. His large palms cup your cheeks as he brings your lips to his and the sound of cameras clicking fill your ears. “All that matters to me is you.”

Photographers scream their names as cameras continue to go off but neither of them moves except for Eddie who leans down to kiss you as well. 

“We can just walk right passed and go inside. You hold all the power here, baby girl, but no matter what we aren’t doing this…”, he gestures towards the reporters. “…without you.”

Nodding, you take each boy’s hand and allow them to take over as they stand beside you to pose for photos. Occasionally the rockstar whispered something in your ear to make you laugh that helps to calm your nerves as your smile stretches wide across your face. 

“Mr. Munson, how are you feeling today? You look so happy!”, an interviewer asked enthusiastically. 

“Thank you. I am, I am. I’m here with my best friend and this beautiful angel, I mean…”, he chuckles as you blush. “…I’m an incredibly lucky man.”

“How are you tonight, Y/N? You do look exceptionally beautiful! Let’s get a double take here.”, she encourages as you step back and Steve spins you 360 to show off your dress. 

“Thank you so much. I’m good. I’m nervous. You’re my first ever interview so… you look gorgeous to. I love your earrings.”, you praise as she playfully shows them off for the camera behind her. 

‘Oh, you’re so sweet. I look forward to many more interactions in the future.”

While you three step closer to the door something catches the mogul’s eye that has him tugging at his friend’s sleeve before both men pull you inside. 

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, baby, you did amazing.”, he whispers as he leans down to kiss your cheek. 

***

Something in their mood changed as soon as you guys were finally in the building and sitting at the table as drinks were being served. On the walk there, they didn’t let you drift too far, sticking by your side as they or you spoke to people around you. 

While you were eating, they seemed to always have some part of their body on yours and seemed to be knocking back the champagne a bit more than you were. 

“I’m going to run to the bathroom real fast.”, you whisper as you get to your feet. 

“I’ll walk you—”

“Eddie, baby.”, you say as you place your palm on his shoulder to keep him seated. “I don’t need an escort to pee, okay? I’ll be right back, I promise.”

He didn’t seem at all calmed especially when you felt both their eyes watch you as disappeared down the hallway. After finishing your needs and adjusting the rockstar’s necklace around you, you give yourself one final pep talk as you head back into the fray. 

“Ow!”

“Shit! Oh my god. I am so sorry! Are you alright?”, you ask frantically as you try to consol the young man you accidently hit with the bathroom door. “God, I’m such mess.”

“Ah, no, no worries. I’m alright. Got me pretty good there though.”, the boy chuckled as his palm rubbed his nose before taking note of your worried demeanor. “It’s ok. I’m seriously alright, see? I’d have lost my contract a long time ago if I couldn’t take a few hits. I’m Roman, Roman Hart.”, he grins as he extends his palm for you to shake. 

As you provide him with your name the man laughs a bit harder. 

“You have no idea who I am, do you?”

“No? Should I?”

“I’m a quarterback for the New York football team.”

“Ah! Ok, yeah, still have no idea who you are.”, you giggle. “I’m not really into sports and the few players I do recognize are from my hometown. Well, it was nice meeting you and again, I’m so sorry for hurting you.”

“No worries.”, he grins. “May I walk you back to your seat? Maybe, we can get to know each other a bit more and you can tell me your favorite guitarist.”

As he reaches out to delicately touch the guitar pick on your chest, something in his tone rubs you the wrong way as your smile falls.

“I’m ok, Mr. Hart, but I appreciate the offer.” 

Swiftly turning to leave him behind, you bump into a broad chest that’s heavy breathing with anger and glance up to see Steve’s furious features. 

“What are you doing, Roman?”

“Hey, Steve. How are—”

“WHAT are you doing!?”

“Jesus, old man. Take a breath.” At the man’s dismissive tone, the mogul started to step forward but you hastily put yourself between them as you place your palm on his chest. “This beautiful woman here hit me in the face with the door on accident and we were just talking.”

“Bullshit. Did she put you up to this?”

“Well, someone’s paranoid.”

“And someone’s a little bitch.”, Eddie growled the quarterback’s way as he came up behind his friend. “Didn’t think you were manipulatable enough to do Gina’s bidding.”

At his words, Roman’s eyes squint as he glares at the rockstar. 

“You’re the football player she cheated on them with.”, you breathe as your own eyes close in frustration. 

“Is it cheating when she’s already fucking two guys? I guess not since she said you two could barely get it up for her let alone satisfy her.”, he sassed, this time causing Eddie to step towards him. 

“No.”, you scolded in your teacher tone hoping that was stronger than your arms because you were struggling to hold both men in their place. “Go away. There’s nothing I want from her or you.”

“She’s been wanting to talk to you.”

“Then she needs to stop sending men to do her bidding and come talk to me but again there’s nothing I want or need from her.”

“Gina said she wanted to talk to you the other day but…”, he pauses as he glances at Steve. 

“Come on, guys, let’s go home.”, you murmur as try to push them back but they don’t budge. “Please… he’s trying to get a rise out of you. Don’t let him win.”

It takes a few seconds before the mogul finally turns around and begins to stomp down the hallway as the rockstar grips your hand. 

“If you come near her again, it won’t be a door that hits you in the face.”, Eddie threatened as Roman grinned and winked your way.

#################

“Can we talk?”, you ask as Eddie veers towards the kitchen to grab a beer and Steve starts to take off his suit jacket as he heads towards the bedroom. 

“We’ll talk about it later, Y/N.”

“I want to talk about it now, Steven.” At your words, he heavily exhales as he turns to face you. “I’ve given you two space these past few days but this was a big deal. She overstepped a boundary by doing this.”

“Ok, honey. Agreed. Now what?”, he responded sarcastically as he shrugged. 

You blinked as your gaze shifted between both men as Eddie came up to your side.

“You don’t have to hold it in. It’s ok to be angry. I told you if you needed to throw a tantrum or vent, you could. I know the word.”

“We’re not angry, Y/N.”, the rockstar sighs and your jaw clenches. 

“Really? You’re not angry at all that she sent the man she cheated on you with to come speak with me? The same man she was caught fucking in a car by paparazzi because she was so brazen about her infidelity yet hid her relationship with you both?” As you spoke, Eddie’s fist clenched tighter around the glass in his hand while Steve placed his hands on his hips as they glared your way.

“You aren’t angry that he said you two could never satisfy her even though you went out of your way to make her happy? Or the fact that at that hearing the other day, she had the audacity to giggle her way through her testimony while saying things like how she never imagined you, Eddie, could hurt her because of how you talked about your mom or, Steve, how you manipulated her the way your dad did by giving his side pieces better jewelry and things than you ever gave her.”

Slowly sauntering forward, you place yourself directly in front Eddie’s chest as his eyes blaze down into yours. 

“You aren’t angry that Roman touched my skin with his fingers; my body that belongs to you two and only you?”, you murmur as your palm rubs his chest through the opening in his button up shirt before backing away to find home in front of Steve. “It’s not only the fact that he touched me but that he wasn’t afraid to do it. He thought he’d get away with it no matter what because you’re ‘old men’ who can’t satisfy a woman…especially a young woman like me.

The tip of your nose caressed his as your words landed breathily against his lips. 

“Hm. Well, I guess you’re more mature than me because I’m furious I can’t make her stop hurting you the way she does.”

Flashing them a soft smile, you start to walk away but Steve’s fingers around your wrist give you pause as he pulls you back to crash his mouth to your own. There’s a fever behind it that has you moaning as Eddie comes up behind you to unzip your dress and tug it down your frame. 

You tear at the mogul’s shirt and he pants as you sloppily kiss down his chest. Tilting down to pick you up, he throws you over his shoulder and you watch as the rockstar removes pieces of his own suit as he trails behind, tossing them to the floor without a care.

After throwing you onto the bed, you watched as Steve unbuckled his belt and handed it to his friend who quickly bound your wrists above your head as the other man’s face fell in-between your legs. 

“Fuck, Daddy.”, you whined as you pulled on your restraints, desperate to run your fingers through his hair while his tongue and mouth devoured your pussy like a man possessed. Eddie leaned over your body to hand his friend something but it didn’t take you long to realize what it was as the sound of buzzing filled the room and vibration from the wand was pressed against your clit. “Oh…my…”

“Atta girl.”, the rockstar cooed as he took hold of your ankles to help keep your legs open and in the air. “We know how to take care of you, sweetheart.”

“Mhmm.”, you groaned as Steve’s tongue moved faster in and out of your entrance. 

“Do you think we’re too old, little girl?”

“No, Daddy. I’ve never—mmph—I’ve never thought that.”

“Do you think someone your own age can fuck you better than us?!”

“Never, Daddy. No one—fuck I’m gonna cum—no one fucks me like you two.”

Your legs tremble in Eddie’s grasp as the coil snaps and the mogul presses the wand harder against your clit to elongate your high. As your legs fall to the bed, Steve unbuttons his slacks and frees his cock, leaning down to spit directly into your hole before guiding himself inside you.

“Say that again.”, he rumbles.

“No one fucks me like you two, Daddy.”

“And who does this pussy belong to?”

“You two, Daddy.”

His large palm wraps around your throat, squeezing lightly as his hips roughly snap, punching a sharp grunt from your lips. 

“WHO does this pussy belong to?”

“Ah! Steve and Eddie!”

“That’s right. Say it again.”, Steve growls as his rhythm quickens.

“M-My pussy belongs to—fuck—Steve Harrington and E-Eddie Munson!”

The mogul fell fully on top of you as he pounded his cock deep inside you with a rough abandon that had you wincing a couple of times.

“You have no idea how much I wanted to fucking kill him when I saw his hands on you. If you—oh my god—if you hadn’t stopped me I’d have put him the fucking hospital. No one fucking touches you like that except us.”

“No…one…baby…Fuck me…harder, Steve. I can…handle it.”

Pushing up on his knees, he took hold of the wand again and pressed it to your puffy nub, smirking a bit to himself as he watched you squirm. 

Ringed fingers gripped your hair and as you turned your head you were met with Eddie’s cock. Opening wide, you allowed him entry between your parted lips and he was anything but gentle as he thrust his hips. 

You whimpered around him and they knew you were close to the edge proving them right when your pussy clenched around Steve’s dick like a vice especially when the rockstar held you still to choke around his length. 

You panted when he finally pulled away and the mogul grunted loudly as he slammed his release aggressively into your cunt till he was empty. 

They didn’t allow you a second to breathe as Eddie seamlessly flipped you over and placed his entire frame on top of your back before he shifted his waist a bit and you felt his cock effortlessly slid into your aching pussy. 

With one hand around your neck and the other underneath you gripping one of your breasts, he remained close to you, absorbing you with his weight as he roughly rolled his hips. 

“Fuck, baby, you feel so good. Y-You’d never hurt us like that would you? You’d never cheat on--”

“N-Never, Daddy. Mmm—I love you so much…both of you. H-H-Harder, Eddie. Use me.”

The man’s hold on you tightens as he honors your statement and pumps into you so hard the bed underneath you shakes. 

Your orgasm crashes like a rouge wave and you scream their title before you’re abruptly rolled onto your back as the rockstar grunts and climbs up your body to shove his cock down your throat. Your eyes squeeze shut as you allow him to use your mouth till you feel his release hit your tongue and you swallow every drop. 

As soon as he pulls himself back, Eddie lays on you again resting his head on your chest waiting patiently for you to play with his hair like you always do but the lightbulb doesn’t go off till he finally glances up to see if you’re ok. 

“Shit! Y/N, I’m so fucking sorry. Why didn’t you say anything?!”, he panics as he reaches up to quickly remove the belt from your wrists and carefully bring your arms down to your sides. 

“May I have some water, please?”

Hearing the hoarseness of your voice, Steve doesn’t hesitate as he powerwalks to their kitchen and comes back with a cold glass of water. Amber and chocolate eyes scan you over with concern as you chug back the liquid and flinch as it slides down your throat. 

“I’m going to make her bath.”, the mogul announces as he turns to head towards the bathroom. 

Eddie’s fingers brush some of your hair away from your face and in return you fall into his equally sweaty chest. 

“I love you, Eddie.”, you whisper.

“I love you to, princess. Come on. Let’s take a nice relaxing bath.”

Noticing you struggling to move, the man lifts you in his arms and carries you the rest of the way. While the rockstar climbs into the water with you, Steve sits on the edge face you both as he leans against the wall, studying you as his friend washes your skin. 

When Eddie starts to clean between your legs, you wince causing Steve’s face to twitch with worry. 

“I know, baby girl, I know. I’m almost done.”, the rockstar tries to comfort as you began to softly cry. 

When your eyes lock with the other boy’s, you gently smile and he does the same. 

“I love you, Steve.”

“I love you to, honey.”, he murmurs as he leans forward to grab your hand so he can kiss the back of it. “I, um, I hope you know we aren’t angry with you or anything. We know that…you weren’t…flirting or—”

“I know. As soon as he touched me…I knew something was off. I swear I didn’t recognize him—”

“We know.”, Eddie soothes as he kisses your cheek. “It did trigger something though. Memories of her being more than polite just to get a rise out of us. Add in what you mentioned…”

“That he had the audacity to touch you and talk to you because he thought we wouldn’t do anything.”, Steve clarified when your eyebrows furrowed. “Because, ya know, we’re grandpas and all that.”

A large grin stretches across both their faces at the sound of your laugh as it echoes through the bathroom. 

“He said that was the reason but you know that’s not why right? It’s not your age, its that she sees you as weak. That’s what this whole display is about. That’s why she wants to talk to me. She knows I don’t see you that way and she genuinely believes she can change my mind like she did with everyone else in her circle.”

“Listen to baby girl over here talking like a lawyer. Do you want to take over our case because you absolutely can.”, Eddie jokes as he pulls you back into a tight hug. 

Steve’s face slowly changes as his eyes flood with concern before his fingers extend to lightly trace the skin along your neck. 

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.”, the mogul exhales as he rises to his feet. “Ed, go ahead, get her dressed, and when you’re done bring her to the kitchen.”

“Ay yi, Captain.”, the rockstar sasses as he climbs out of the water and grabs a towel. “Again, boy talking to me like he’s my Daddy.”

When his eyes linger where Steve’s had, you shifted your gaze towards the mirror to find growing bruises the size of fingerprints along your throat. 

“It’s ok, Eddie, I promise.”, you coo as you reach up to caress his cheek. “I would have used the safe word if you both were hurting me.”

With a tight smile, he nods, gently drying you before throwing some pajamas over your body and carrying you into the kitchen to place you on the counter. 

“Ok, honey, this is going to be cold.”, Steve announces as he rubs his hands together and rubs them along your skin. Your squeak at the cold gel makes him chuckle as he continues his task. “This stuff is pretty good. It should lessen’ that colorization before work on Monday.”

“Hey.”, you call softly as you grip his chin and tilt his eyes up to meet yours. “Not the first time your fingers have left bruises on my body. In a good way of course.”

His movements slow for just a moment before he sighs and continues. 

“This is different.”

“How?”

“It’s hard to explain.”

“Try.”

“We don’t actively want to hurt you, sweetheart.”, Eddie answers for him. “You said we could use you to…throw a tantrum as you call it but…”

“Remember last time, when you got scared that you triggered something by being a brat?” You nod at Steve’s question. “Same thing more or less. She…brings out the worst in us.”

“You keep saying that but I just don’t see it. I really don’t, Steve.”

The rockstar hopped up beside you and handed you a cup of warm tea eliciting a cute little sigh that makes them smile as the liquid slides down your throat. 

“You’ve never pushed.” Blinking at Eddie’s statement, he exhaled as he petted your head. “Kind of like what Roman did, she would dangle men in front of us till we snapped. We would scream, yell, shout but it never got physical until we were playing. We made sure she reiterated she knew the word but she never used it. She…fuck…we did drugs together once. She kept pushing and pushing until one bad night I agreed. It was the one and only time I did blow and she held it over my head forever.”

“She would call him names and imply he was angry for something SHE did because he was stoned which he wasn’t.”

“I…it reminded me of my dad and I knew if Wayne found out he would be so disappointed.” As the rockstars head hung, you moved his hair behind his ear and tenderly kissed his cheek.

“Sometimes, Y/N, I would be so wasted from a party the three of us went to that when we were intimate…there were times I felt like I wasn’t in control…She would egg me on talking about how pathetic I was and I would feel my grip tighten…” As he spoke, Steve’s eyes flicked to your throat. “There were times…I wanted to hurt her the way she hurt me…”

Extending your legs, you wrapped them around his waist bringing him to you so you could hug them both tightly.

“I know you’ve been through a lot with her and aren’t even close to being done but please don’t hold it in. Talk to me or hell if you can’t find the words then use me. I know I’m safe with you.”

“Pfft, you can’t just say shit like that and not expect us to swoon, princess.”, Eddie teases as he lays his head on your shoulder and blinks his eyes obnoxiously.

“What if we were done. With the case.”, Steve interjects.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…what if we paid what she’s asking for?”

“Why the fuck would you do that?”, you growl a bit sharply making them both chuckle as the mogul cups your cheeks to bring your forehead to his lips. 

“Because, baby girl, if we did that then everything would end now and we can move on with our lives…be happy just the three of us.”

Sighing, you jump down from the counter, regretting your decision as your core throbs at the soreness. They watch you scoot to the sofa before following, Steve placing himself on his knees in front of you as Eddie sits beside you holding your tea and carefully putting an ice pack between your legs. 

“Thank you.”, you murmur as he lays his arm behind your head. “Steven, if you think this will stop her then you aren’t as smart as I thought you were. If you give in, she’ll just keep coming at you guys asking for more and more. It may not be now but it’s not the money she’s after. She likes toying with you and when she realizes she can’t change my mind she’ll probably do the same with me to.”

“Over my dead body.”, the mogul grumbles as you smirk. 

“You both have to be smart about this. Don’t let her win.”

“What do you think we should do, baby?”, Eddie asks as his fingers begin to play with your hair.

################

Gina saunters into Steve’s empty building with a giddy sense of pride. When the mogul emailed her that God awful formal statement asking her to meet them in his office she literally danced around her (Roman’s) massive bedroom as she began getting ready. 

She knew sending the quarterback would rattle their cage. Eddie was the easiest one to shake but Steve was the most fun to make jealous. Neither boy was the possessive type but the mogul held in his emotions more than his friend and watching him break was just…so much fun.

When he stood up to keep her from talking to you, she knew exactly what she needed to do. You meant nothing to her. Whether she could get you on her side or not didn’t matter to her one bit but if she could convince you in someway to leave them… 

The thought of them broken hearted as they crawled back to her drove her insane. One way or another she’d get the money she was owed but to watch them grumble after abandoning her? Well, that was just a bonus.

“You know, boys, we could have done this at my place.”

“Last we checked; you don’t have one.”

At the sound of your voice, her head shot up to take in the setting before her. 

Instead of Steve sitting at his desk, you were in his large office chair while both men were seated off to the side on his couch he kept by the wall. While they were dressed a bit more casually, you were in a red, long sleeve velvet dress that had a belt around your hips accentuating your curves. Your hair was pulled up and out of your face, displaying the guitar pick necklace Eddie had once told her was his favorite.

As you stood up and came around the desk, your red heels Steve bought you clacked across the floor. 

Her startled eyes scanned you over constantly before she took a step backward causing a smirk to flicker across your lips. 

“Well Gina, you wanted to talk to me so here I am. Let’s talk.”

###############

@aol19 @paradisepoisons  @paleidiot @dashingdeb16

@lilaclazer @joannamuns9n @thwippyparker @emotionaldreamer

@aactuaaltraash @alastorssimp @mygirlchaos @starksbabie @imagine-all-the-imagines @myherometalhead

AGAIN! Here's hoping the tags do what I want this time lol

[aceistheplace86]

What if

//Stan Pines having a crush on you, but never getting to admit it.

You and Stan had been inseparable since elementary school when you guys met. He convinced you he could do the monkey bars faster than you, but promptly fell on his face while running over to the set.

You two only getting closer as you got older. Now you guys were nearing the end of high school and neither one had admitted their feelings to each other. Yet they both had to Ford.

You always confided in Ford about your feelings towards his twin brother and he always urged you to tell him. You always backed out.

Tonight was no different. Stan was lying in bed staring at the ceiling while his brother sat at his desk writing in his notebook. He sighed heavily and looked over at his twin “Do you think I’m being stupid?”

“You’re going to have to be more specific,” he said in a playful manner

“Ha Ha” Stan said sarcastically “No but I mean, with not telling Y/N how I feel?”

Ford paused for a second. “A little bit”

“What if I get the chance to say how I feel and I mess it all up?” his voice was quiet

“Remember a few years ago when you asked me, ‘What if I don’t find someone to love’? Well, now you’ve got the biggest crush on Y/N that I’ve ever seen. So why not try?”

Stan thought for a moment. What if love just wasn’t for him? He was historically heartbroken, girls weren’t flocking to him, and when he did get a date, they never lasted long.

No one could really tell because he always tried to play it cool around everyone, his parents, the kids at school, even his own brother. There were rare moments, like tonight when only Ford got to see how lonely he felt.

He always felt like he was drowning in his own emotions, always just one minute from breaking down. He tried ways to keep himself distracted, like boxing, and adventures with his brother. But as they get older, the adventures seem few and far between.

But his time with Y/N made all of his anxieties about being alone for the rest of his life vanish. He enjoyed their time together, he felt like he could be himself. He didn’t feel like he had to be some fake version of himself to be loved, he didn’t have to put on an act. He didn’t feel like the dumb twin.

He shifted his focus back to the ceiling “What if I don’t deserve it?”

Ford didn’t respond. He stared blankly down at his notebook. He had no answer. He knew Stan deserved love, deserved a partner for life. How could he tell him that? He wouldn’t listen, nor would he really believe him. “What if you do?”

Months had gone by, and Stan made no advances to telling Y/N how he felt. Until today, he knew Y/N was out of town for a few days so it gave him time to prepare what he wanted to say. He paced the living room trying his hardest to not make it sound cheesy. He wanted Ford to come home from the science fair so that he could talk strategy with him. Ford wasn’t great at girl talk but he could at least keep Stan from making a fool of himself.

Just then, Ford stormed into the house. Slamming the door behind him.

“Sixer! Just in time, I’m trying to figure out what to say to Y/N” He says sheepishly “Want to help me?”

“Help you? Why would I want to help you!” He says showing his twin the bag of Toffee Peanuts. “Explain this Stanley”

Stan stared at the bag quickly remembering what happened. “I-I didn’t mean it Ford” He had learned that Ford might go to some fancy school, but he wasn’t ready for him to leave. Ford was the one person he could count on. There was no guarantee that Y/N liked him back, but he would always have his brother. The next thing he knew he was leaving the school after covering Ford’s, probably fine, project

“I was messing around and I accidentally-“

“This was no accident, Stanley! You did this! You did this because you couldn’t handle me going to college on my own!” He shoved him “You sabotaged my entire future!”

“You did what?” His father appeared and grabbed him by his collar

“I-It was a mistake!” Stan pleaded, there was no chance. He got thrown outside landing hard on the ground.

“You are not welcome in this household until you make this family millions!” His father threw a duffle bag at him.

Stan stared at the bag, briefly wondering why his father already had a bag packed, before looking up at the window to Ford. “What?! Stanford, tell him he is being ridiculous!”

Ford looks at the West Coast Tech pamphlet their family was given the other day before he closes his curtains.

“Stanford? Don't leave me hangin'. High six? His father slams the pawn shop's front door in his son's face. He stared at the now-closed door and tried to get his mind straight. He didn’t have anywhere to go. He was losing ahold of things fast.

He wouldn’t be able to go to Y/N’s house like he did when things felt a little too confusing.

 Y/N. He wouldn’t be able to say goodbye, and there was no way he was sticking around here and risking possibly running into his father. He looked up at the window one more time “Please Ford, will you at least tell Y/N how I feel?”

Stan looks sadly at the window before he straightens his posture and hardens his look. “I can make it on my own!” he mumbled climbing into his car and speeding off.

Stan decided he wouldn’t show his face at home until he had made a name for himself. The days were hard, the treasure-hunting business was a bust and when he found sales, he realized he was a good salesman but had crappy products. However, the nights were the hardest. He slept in his car and crappy motels. There wasn’t a day that he didn’t think of what he did to his brother. He was angry, but he missed him. He often found his thoughts drifting to Y/N. Ford must've told them how Stan had felt, and apparently from the lack of communication, it seemed that those feelings were not reciprocated.

Maybe love wasn’t for him.

//I hope you guys liked this! I had the idea and hoped it didn't seem rushed. I think I'm getting sick so I don't feel like this is my best work. Should I do Ford’s perspective after being asked that favor from Stan?

[carigm]

SPOILERS FOR ST5 FILMING THIS WEEK+ A THEORY

Okay, I’m going to try and break down all the filming leaks we got this week and put them together into a theory.

In case you don’t know yet, ST’s production has moved back to Stone Mountain, GA this week. This is a woodsy area that’s been used before in the show to film all the UD forest scenes as well as just the regular forest scenes in the show.

On Monday of this week, someone who lives close to the area came upon a set. And it was the Castle Byers pictures we got. I’ll add them here too.

Some observations. To me this version of castle Byers doesn’t look like the original one we first saw. That one was much fuller and looked more stable. It also doesn’t look like the version Will left behind after destroying it in S3. We know the UD is stuck on the time Will was there, so imo the version of castle Byers we are seeing here is the one that was damaged by the demogorgon when it grabbed Will, back in S1.

Based on this pic and a little video of the set, we all speculated they could be filming something related to Will, perhaps even a flashback. Here’s where it gets interesting.

I was looking at the castingtaylormade insta page (they post all the casting for extras and photo doubles needed for the show) and I came across this.

Production was looking for a minor photo double and “adult” one to work on the 20th (aka Tuesday of this week) as well as some other dates in February and March.

Now, we know they were filming at the castle Byers set the same day that this minor photo double was needed. I don’t think I need to spell it out here. They were looking for a child, so younger Will scenes are basically a guarantee to have been filmed this week. As for the adult photo double filming the same date, well there’s quite a few options. If it’s a little Will flashback/vision we’re gonna see, perhaps the adult photo double is gonna be older Will himself. Maybe we’ll get current Will having visions of his younger self and his time in the UD, and we’ll see both versions of him. Let’s not forget he was able to shift to the UD in S2 without physically being there.

Another option for the adult photo double could be Vecna. Will and Vecna are bound to share scenes this season, so perhaps we’ll see whether Vecna was involved from the get go in Will’s disappearance.

Now it gets even more interesting, because today we got new pics of the “UD” set from this week. There’s a lot of fog, and a very poignant blue and red lighting mix.

We know the UD usually has a blue tint, but there’s been instances where it has looked red, especially in S4. However, the most red we’ve ever seen in the UD was when Will was having his S2 visions of the MF, remember how he would appear in a cloud of hellish red and lights would flash? Yeah. Another big use of red in this show has been for visions, like Will’s UD ones but also El in Billy’s mind in S3. And ofc more notably Max’s Vecna vision in S4.

I want to specifically focus on one picture.

As you can see, there appears to be a figure walking along the tree path, with perhaps a taller figure on the left but that is hard to tell because it could just be part of the tree. Stranger Things Spoilers was the account that got these set photos and look at the comment they just liked on Insta.

I think it’s safe to say they’re hinting that the figure walking is Will.

Which basically ties this whole week of filming together and seems to be pointing at the fact that Will is gonna be exploring his UD connection and that’s a major component of this season (duh).

I personally think we’re gonna see Will have visions of his time there as a child, but also he will be able to go there mentally like he did in S2, perhaps this time being taunted and brainwashed by Vecna. “He spies back”.

So there you go folks, it seems like our beloved Will Byers is gonna be greatly suffering from supernatural horrors beyond our comprehension, once again.

I wonder what will be able to pull him back from all this mental deterioration he’s surely gonna face again.

Could it be the power of family love and perhaps…gay love?

The Duffers did say to rewatch S2 🤷‍♀️

[fruity-mega-coconut69]

A Car?!

[Pairings]: Tara Carpenter x Fem!Reader.

[Summary]: It's Tara's 20th birthday and you might have gone a little over-board with her gift.

[Warnings]: Fluff? , shitty ending, My writing

A/N: Sorry, it's short.

------------------------------------------------------------------

“I can’t believe I’m going to miss it!” 

You mutter to yourself as you look out the window of your father’s private jet. It’s your girlfriend's, Tara’s, birthday today and you haven’t bought anything for her, and as a matter of fact, it’s possible you are not going to arrive home before later tonight. 

But, luckily, you were wrong and you arrived back in New York at 4pm.  You were so happy, you practically ran out of the jet when it landed and immediately went to search for something to buy for Tara.

And now, you’re walking the busy streets of New York, looking for the perfect gift. You feel exhausted and tired as you haven’t slept in more than 24 hours, but your feet kept moving until you finally found just the gift for Tara. Your face lights up as you stop in your tracks in front of a car shop and you grin, doing a small dance before going in and looking around.

About half an hour later, your eyes widen and get stuck on a specific car that’s just Tara . You look at the label and see its price, ‘ $63.300’. You smile and turn to the worker that has been showing you around. He smirks and comes closer.

“Ah, a BMW Z4. It’s one of our newer cars. You said it was for a special someone, hm?” You nod and she looks at you. “Well, then, it’s perfect.”  You nod and reach into your bag for your wallet, pulling out the money needed while the worker stares at you with a wind mouth and eyes. You smile and hand it to him. He stands there for a minute before mumbling something about bringing some papers.

After signing everything needed, you walk out of the shop happily. Then wait until they bring the car out. After they did, you thank them and immediately speed towards Tara’s apartment building.  When you arrive, you get out of the car, now feeling slightly nervous.

What if she doesn’t like it?

Is she going to be mad at me for buying something for her again?

You shake your head and go inside, running up the stairs and knocking on her door when you reach it. Only, it’s not Tara’s cute face that welcomes you when the door opens and instead there is a woman with a big scowl on her face, clearly annoyed. You look down and start to fidget.

“Uh, h-hi. I-Is Tara…here?” You stutter out as you feel small under Sam’s gaze. Although you and Tara have been together for several months, you never had the time to meet her friends and sister who she always told you so much about. All this due to your parents bringing you to every business trip they go to, which is a lot. 

You look up again and see that the older Carpenter is about to say something when Tara’s sweet voice can be heard. “Y/N?!” Then loud footsteps and soon Sam is pushed aside and Tara takes her place, immediately smiling at you and not wasting any time before she hugs you tightly. You smile and inhale her scent that you had missed. Tara pulls back only to lean up and give you a sweet kiss that doesn’t go unnoticed by Sam as she gasps.

She doesn’t understand, Tara has been sad all day and Sam and the others have been desperately trying to cheer her up as it is her birthday and she should be happy. And all it takes for that to happen is for some complete stranger to show up at their door?

Tara has a love-struck smile on her face as she pulls back from the kiss and grabs your hand, dragging you inside. There, you see two other people, who you are guessing, are Mindy and Chad. You wave at them awkwardly and sit down on the couch. Sam grumples and closes the door. Tara sits beside you, close. You decide to look around the apartment and smile  as you take in the coziness of the home and a warm feeling erupts in your heart when you feel Tara lean into you.

Then, your eyes land on the kitchen table and you notice a bunch of crumpled wrapping paper and some items on the table, like a phone case, a sweater and some chocolate. You gasp and grin.

“Oh, I almost forgot!” All of them look confused as you hadn’t introduced yourself. You grin and pick up your bag, searching for the key to Tara's car. When you find it, you let out a sigh and your hand goes behind your back when you turn back to Tara. She is smiling, but is visibly confused. You blush and show your hands, the keys dangling from them.

“Happy Birthday!” You smile.

Tara’s eyes widen and she gasps, hand flying to her mouth. “You bought me a car?! But, honey! You didn’t have to! Why-?” 

She was cut off by Sam as she steps closer to you, eyeing you.  “So what? You just come here, not even introduce yourself, kiss my sister and buy her a car? Who the hell are you?”

 You look down. “UH, he-her girlfriend, ma’am.” Then you glance at Tara. “And I'm sorry if you don’t like it. I-I can take it back?” 

Sam stands still, shocked while Tara smiles wildly and shakes her head. “No, it..it’s perfect! Thank you so much! “She giggles and hugs you, planting a small kiss on your lips. You bite your lip and nod. “But also, what  have I told you about buying me expensive stuff for no reason?” 

“But! It is for your birthday! “  She laughs and rolls her eyes.

“Oh, you goofball.” Then grabs the back of your neck and kisses you deeply. You sigh into the kiss and wrap your arms around her shoulders. You break apart and she looks down at the keys.

Suddenly, Chad shouts. “Oh! Let’s see the car! I wanna see the car! “He smiles excitedly.

All of you laugh, but Sam keeps staring at you suspiciously as all five of you leave the apartment building and in front of it, is parked the BMW Z4. Tara’s -and everyone else’s- mouth is agape as she stares at the car. 

You walk up to it and lean against it, trying to look cool, but failing as you trip and almost fall over. You clear your throat and straighten up as the others chuckle. “So? Wanna take this baby for a ride?” You cringe almost immediately. “Ugh, never saying that again.” 

Tara smiles and walks up to the car. “Sure thing, Darling. Let's ride.” And she gets into the driver's seat. You laugh and get in too. Tara puts the key in and turns it, the engine roaring.  She leans forward to look at the others. “See you soon, my friends!” She waves at them and pushes her foot on the gas.

A couple of minutes later, the roof is down and the wind is blowing through you guys’s hair as the two of you laugh and talk. There is a beat of silence between you two, only the sound of the engine and the whooshing of the wind can be heard-as well as the other cars around you-.  Then, Tara turns to you. 

“I love you” 

You blush and look at her. “ I…love you, too.”  

She giggles and puts a comforting hand on your knee. “So, should we heat things up?” She asks and before you could answer, she steps on the gas and you are speeding through New York. Your heart is racing as you laugh and admire the view of  the city in the dark of the night, and of course, Tara’s beauty. 

[afreakingdork]

Yeah, I'm not taking this sitting down. Man, I really am not trying to have beef out here, but I refuse to have my good fucking name tarnished. To make a public post about me? Yeah, I'm going to share my side. The facts are as such:

I approached wolf on 12/20/23 about a NSFW commission inspired by one of their works. It would feature my sona and an aged up Donnie. As they mentioned, our initial conversation was good. We went back and forth during the sketch phase and I requested quite a lot of edits. I asked if I could pay them for these corrections.

it was right after this that wolf asked about Donnie's battle shell since it wasn't illustrated.

After this message, I did not hear back from wolf after 2/9/24 until I sent them a follow-up message 3/27/24

I did not hear back from wolf until today 5/6/24.

Now I cannot share the images of the art I received because it is NSFW, but I can tell you that the grey from my sona's body appeared to be missing. The ears of my sona were grey, but the body only looked yellow. Donnie was missing his purple arm marks, and his knee pads were still the same only now they were colored in black along with his mask. From here I will just send the conversation in its entirety.

For reference, this was the reference sheet they had.

I was then sent two pieces where the grey on my sona was very obvious and Donnie's markings were now present with the following text.

Now again, I wish I could show you the pieces, but I can't. I was offered a 50% refund for my troubles, but I was not interested in taking it because wolf had already done all the work.

I will say that I was extremely frustrated with the whole affair so the next part I will admit was a bit salty because while corrections had been made, I wasn't able to give any input so there were still mistakes in my sona's colors (specifically the underside of the tail was yellow instead of white and my grey arm had one side yellow) and Donnie's mask was still black. The following is our last correspondence on my blog.

This would have been the end of it for me. Except, I did not get the email. I waited in hopes it would come in, but none did. Since I was blocked I was forced to reach out from one of my side blogs @thisgoesouttoyoubaby which feel free to check. it's my reblog sideblog that I use to send my bestie memes. It dates back YEARS and is not used for spam.

As you can see I was blocked here.

Now I have been refreshing my email feed waiting. I know emails can take time, but I have no way to confirm if I'm getting my work because I was immediately blocked on thisgoesouttoyou with no response.

So I used another sideblog, this time @plowingon which you can again, freely search, its not a spam blog, but a blog I once made to record the live of my old german shepherd I had years ago when he was getting older.

And wouldn't you know it, I got my first email from wolf at

Coincidentally, only after I sent my last message to them.

Now I'm not interested in hurting wolf's reputation. I think you should still commission them if you'd like. I still am a fan of their art. I have no ill will, but fuck if I will stand by as someone tells me that I won't pay an artist. I never even said i wouldn't pay. I was just frustrated because they wouldn't follow their own three correction rule. They allowed me no recourse, and then they were petty before I could even confirm that I received the email.

Could I have been nicer?

Of course.

Could I have been more clear?

Absolutely.

But there is no world in which I tried to gaslight anyone. I pride myself on my honesty. I was not shy when paying them. I sent payment before we even began. I offered to pay them more and acknowledged I was a needy customer halfway through. So I apologize for this long post, but I wanted to make sure all of this was visible because how dare you call me a scammer, wolf.

You disappoint me.

[thought--bubble]

Breakin You In

Will (Salad Days ) X (Rich Girl Reader)

Warnings After The Cut

Will Masterlist

Full Masterlist

Banners by @arcielee

A/N: This was purely self-indulgent. I absolutely LOVE Will. Everything about him is chefs kiss so I legit imagined this scenario (Might need therapy IDK) so I thought I would share some of my crazy.

Warnings:: Smut, Virginity loss, Drinking, corruption kink, praise.

You are a good girl. That's what your friends called you. It's what your parents boasted about you, how your older brother teased you. A good girl. Great student, great grades comes from a great two parent household with a daughter son and a family dog. All the perfect ingredients for you to grow up into some successful adult and achieve all the things your parents have planned for you.

But at 18 freshly graduated with one last summer before uni you were ready to rebel and you knew exactly how you wanted to do it. Your friends all came from the same area. A well off nice area just outside of Derby filled with nice homes with nice cars in the driveways, but when they wanted a little fun they knew where to find the real parties, the parties where everyone went wild happened down in Derby proper.

The kids down there might be broke, come from broken homes or bad situations but one thing they did know was how to have fun and your friends loved to venture down there, and as long as they showed up with a wallet full of cash they were welcomed with open arms.

You had joined them on a few of these excursions before. Usually the designated driver. It was your responsibility to make sure all of your friends made it home and did so in one piece. Which you always did. because you, you are a good girl.

But tonight, tonight was going to be different. Tonight was the night you were going to catch his eye instead of being the invisible observer. All those times you had gone to these parties sipped on water and watched everyone have fun there was one person in particular you always kept your eyes on.

And that someone was named Will. He was handsome, as gorgeous as he was tall, with ocean blue eyes, shaggy blonde hair and a swagger that had you swoon, and every time you went to these outings, a different girl on his arm. sometimes it would be someone you knew, other times someone you didn't recognize, but never the same person and always someone dressed up and clearly looking for fun, and the worst part? Never you.

You, usually in a jumper and jeans hair down with a beanie on have never so much as caught him glancing at you, which is something you were determined to change tonight.

Your best friend Ashley is the assigned designated driver tonight and is fully aware of your plan. She was shocked at first but then decided she wanted to help. So she came to your house early with some clothing options for you to look through.

"you sure this doesn't look absolutely ridiculous?" you ask while checking yourself out in the mirror.

You are wearing Ashley's skin tight black mini dress. You aren't as curvy as Ashley but you had some feminine curves and this dress was definitely built specifically to show them off.

"You look like a snack" she winks at you. "but we have to do something about the shoes you can't wear runners"

"I know, I went out and bought two pairs of shoes today because i knew I wouldn't fit into any of yours" You hold up a pair of chunky Mary Janes and a pair of Chunky healed ankle boots.

"I was hoping for..... something a little more pointy.... but the boots should suffice" Ashley grabs the boots from your hand turning them over "Yeah, these are actually pretty cute"

"You got the stockings?" Ashley asks while wiggling her eyebrows.

"Yes I just don't understand how exactly these are supposed to stay up on my legs?" you hold the sheer black thigh high stockings you had bought at the store today as Ashley had suggested.

"You snap them into this" She holds up a black silky garter belt and you swallow.

"Right, obviously," you chuckle nervously as you take the belt and buckle it into place under the dress and over the small black lace thong you also purchased today.

"Ok" you release a deep sigh and shake your limbs. "Let's go"

The entire ride down to the city, you are wracked with a mixture of nervous and excited energy your leg bouncing in the passengers seat.

"Calm yourself," Ashley rubs your knee. "You look incredible.... if he don't go after ya he's blind"

She pulls up down the street from the dingy old flat, and you can already hear the music playing as you step out of the car.

Ashley holds your hand, your other friends Sasha and Katheryn trailing behind.

"time for your entrance" Ashley teases.

"What do i do?" you ask as she laughs.

"You just walk in the look will do all the heavy lifting"

There are a few people hanging out front smoking cigarettes, they briefly nod as you and your friends pass.

Then you walk in, the air is hot and the smell of alcohol fills the room. People are laughing a few dancing a couple or two kissing on the couch or against the wall.

You squeeze Ashley's hand tightly. "Lets just get you a drink yeah?" she drags you through the crowded room as your eyes flit about looking for him, and you find him easily enough. Sitting with his friends a whiskey in hand laughing about something or other. No girl on his arm. Not yet, it's still early. Not that you would let that stop you tonight.

you reach the kitchen table that is set up with some plastic cups and random bottles of booze. A cup in the middle of the table stuffed with cash. Its known if you're one of the rich kids you are expected to put some money in this cup when you come.

You take out some cash and jam it into the cup.

"Awe the pretty ones don't have to pay" You turn to see one of Will's close friends Tom smiling at you. You know he is one of his closest friends because they always stand around together before will finds his girl of the night.

"That's ok I don't mind" you smile at him as Ashley pours you a drink.

"You been out here before? Don't think i've seen ya" he questions as he moves slightly closer.

"Been here a few times yeah" You take the drink from Ashley.

"Obviously she's been her before ya knob" Will interrupts putting his hand on Tom's shoulder "Just usually aint drinkin" he gives you a sly smile as he leans over the table taking the whiskey bottle towards him to refill his cup.

You blush hard the corners of your mouth raising even though you are desperate to play it cool.

Tom catches this and rolls his eyes. "That would be the way of it"

You look at him confused while Will just chuckles.

Ashley leans into you whispering into your ear "I'll be in the main room by the door if you need me"

You look at her bewildered this is exactly what you wanted but now that you are about to be left alone with him you have gone into full panic mode.

"So what's changed then?" He asks as Ashley passes by him making her way from the area.

"W-w-what?"

"well, your drinkin" he motions to the cup in your hand. "You've.... changed your style up a bit" he raises his eyebrows and smirks. "so.... what's changed?"

"I... Ummm " you can't think of anything to respond to that with that wouldn't sound stupid, but begin to panic when you realize that stuttering also sounds stupid.

He chuckles and walks closer to you cup in hand. "Why's the quiet good girl dressed up like a bad girl tonight?.... you got plans? Something...." he moves right up next to you and whispers "New you wanna try?"

You feel a chill run down your spine. "C'mere i'll show ya how to have fun" his hand slides into yours and he winks and pulls you toward the roar of the party, and just like that for tonight you're the girl his arm is around while he's laughing with his friends. You're the girl sitting on his lap while he plays cards, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

Finally it's you, and you are eating up every moment, as he stands in a circle with his friends, his arms around your midsection his head resting on your shoulder you feel satisfied. The alcohol coursing through your veins and his breath on your neck as he talks and laughs. The sporadic kisses he places on your neck and shoulder in between talking. Everything about this night has been perfect.

"Hey" he whispers rubbing his nose against the shell of your ear. "Come upstairs with me" Your eyes go wide and your stomach flips. You're filled with nerves but, these are the best kind of nerves so you nod your head and he smiles.

He wraps his arm around your shoulder pulling you from the group as they continue talking Tom shooting will a knowing glance. Will doesn't acknowledge this look, keeping his gaze locked on you.

He takes your hand and gently guides you upstairs as Ashley watches you go from her place leaning against the wall in the main room. A small smile on her face accompanied by a look of shock.

She didn't think you would actually do it and honestly you really didn't think you would either but here you are your hand in his as he leads you up the stairs of this dingy place, of whom you don't even know who the owner is but you follow him anyway. You follow him with a smile on your face and a chest burning with anticipation. Any thoughts of turning around and going back downstairs vanish when he turns around and gives you that smile. The smile you have dreamed about, the smile you thought could never be yours but for tonight, just for tonight, that smile is for you and you will hold on to it for as long as the night allows.

When you reach the landing your legs start to shake and he chuckles as he brings you into a nearby bedroom and closes the door.

"i've got the good girl upstairs all by herself..... what am I to do now?" he smiles as he walks closer to you. You swallow, your eyes are wide and your body is trembling and you want him to do whatever it is he wants.

he wraps one arm around your back and pulls you to him sliding his other hand up the back of your neck and into the base of your hair.

"What are you thinkin sweetheart?" he asks as he gently rubs his nose against your cheek. You breath in sharply at a complete loss for words.

"I.. I... ummm" your cheeks flush red with embarrassment, "I've ummm... never done this before"

He chuckles as he guides you towards the bed walking you backwards.

" I guess i'm breakin you in then, aren't i darlin?" He lays you back on the bed and clicks his tongue.

"Such a good girl.... and i've got you all to myself"

He crawls on top of you grabbing one of your thighs and pulling it up to his hip as he brings his lips down on yours in a gentle sweet kiss.

You smile into the kiss and he pushes himself against you. "Never thought I would get you up here" he whispers.

"Never thought you even saw me" you say as you lean up to kiss him again but he pulls back.

"Course i saw you. All beautiful standing there alone." he kisses you slow and sensually the soft click of your mouths the only noise in the room. "Thought to myself, that girl is out of my league. Too smart, Too pretty, too ... good" He kisses you again pressing his body up against you with more pressure.

You grip the back of his neck pressing your lips harshly to his. he pulls back slightly and chuckles. "But if you're looking to be bad tonight.... then i'm your man"

he slides his hand down between your legs pushing your thong to the side and you shiver. as he starts to gently and slowly rub your pearl you moan quietly.

"That's a good girl" he whispers as he nibbles your cheek. He slides a finger into you while rubbing your pearl with his thumb. "So very good" he breathes heavily while you arch your back. The intense pleasure washes over you like a tidal wave. He slides a second finger in and speeds up his pace.

"Please, Please" You don't even know what you are asking for but whatever it is you know you want it and that he can give it to you.

"Oh don't worry darlin, i got you" He quickens his pace again his other hand under your back steadying you and you ride out the sensation.

"Oh, holy - ahh" You open your eyes wide and gasp and you are absolutely rocked by an explosion of pleasure unlike any other you have ever provided to yourself.

he looks down at you will a smile and a chuckle. "Mmmmm.. still such a good girl" he takes out a condom and quickly gets it on positioning himself between your thighs.

"Hold onto me, I promise i'll take it slow" in a daze you nod and grab onto his shoulders as he pushes into your core. it feels like a lot of pressure not exactly pleasurable but not painful.

he growls and bites his bottom lip "fuccccck ..... That's fucking magnificent"

he pushes in slowly until your hips are pressed together. He bites gently at your neck "You ok?"

"Yeah" you struggle to get the words out ass the discomfort starts to fade being replaced with a feeing of fullness.

He starts to move in and out gently. "this o-o-ok?" he says between labored breaths.

"Yes" you sigh the fullness making way for a pleasurable feeling, that feeling building with each gentle buck of his hips.

"So good.. You are so fucking good." he nibbles at the tip of your ear as his pace becomes more regular and his breathing heavier.

"Your so good" you moan back at him.

"No i'm not, but i'll steal something good even if it's just for the night" he pistons his hips into you gradually getting faster and faster. That feeling from before building in your stomach once again.

That feeling builds and builds as he moves faster and faster holding your hips tightly. "give me one more. One more to remember" he demands as his hips slam into yours with purpose. "Be my good girl"

Your legs tense around him like a vice holding him in place, as your eyes roll back in your head a feeling of Euphoria and endorphins flowing into every crevice of your being.

"Good girl.." he grunts and slams into you harder gripping you tight "Good fucking girl!". His thrusts get sloppy and desperate. "Fuck! So fucking....." he grunts loudly and then stills dropping his head onto your chest. he keeps his eyes closed head down but runs his fingers along your cheeks.

"You're so good" He whispers barely loud enough for you to hear it. The two of you lay there for what feels like hours but must have only been about 20 minutes. You make your way back downstairs on unsteady legs.

"Oh the classic walk of shame" Ashley muses as she watches you descend. You give her an annoyed look and the middle finger as you hear Will chuckle from behind you.

"You ready to go?" Ashley asks

"Yeah in just a couple minutes" you respond pushing some hair behind your ear. Ashley nods and walks off no doubt to find Sasha and Katheryn Sasha and Katheryn. Will takes your hand and walks you outside lighting a cigarette.

"You're off to some fancy university in Autumn aren't ya?" he asks looking unbothered as he flicks his cigarette.

"Imperial College" You smile at him as he looks away.

"Makes sense" he nods gently.

Ashley and the girls come out heading toward the car Ashley waving you over.

Before you go to her you place one last kiss on his lips and smile. then walk off to join Ashley and the girls. Will stands there just watching you walk away smoking his cigarette in thought.

"another one to add to the list then?" Tom joins him in his cigarette while nudging his shoulder.

"Nah mate she's far too good for the list" Will says voice low and serious.

"You'll see her again then?" Tom says slightly shocked.

"Nah, i'm not quite good enough for that" he looks away. "I'm gonna call it a night mate" Tom nods at Will as he leaves and starts his walk home.

In the car on your way back home Sasha and Katheryn are in the back seat drunk and giggling. Ashley turns and grabs your knee giving it a little shake.

"You can finally drop that good girl title huh?" she laughs

You stare out the window hair a mess and still in a daze.

"Nah..... I'm still a good girl"

To be added to taglist click here

[yuseirra]

Kamiki's feelings towards Ai- an analysis

Chapter 154 was so interesting and it happened just as I imagined the way it would, actually. What I can't fully predict is what'd happen AFTER this- there are so many things left undisclosed and yet to be uncovered, too. But it's allowed me to think about a lot of things.

Today I wrote up an analysis of how I feel Kamiki's character could be and his feelings towards Ai.

I'd speculated on Ai's relationship with him before this chapter was out. I was pretty much on the right track in a general sense (and another analysis on Aqua and how he feels about kana, too.)This seems like the best time to break out how I think about how kamiki would have felt about her from his end- before it's actually going to be told.

(This full post was originally written in a different language and I asked chatgpt-4 to help translate it in bulk because it got so long..! wow, and it did a really great job. I guess I'll use THAT to translate now)

The last episode made it clear how the protagonist's parents ended up the way they did and the deep emotions they had for each other, so I have quite a bit to say about that. Psychology is an area of interest for me. To put it extremely, it's everything in my creations (though it would be embarrassing if I missed the mark after saying this) to the point where I'd go, 'if I can't even do this, I'd wonder what I'm good at...' In other words, it's the area where I'm most confident... I enjoy watching, analyzing, and understanding things. It's a topic I can talk about enthusiastically and endlessly if the opportunity arises.

As I mentioned in a previous post, understanding others' emotions, whether in reality or fiction, is a tricky part to pin down definitively, so I'm always hesitant to speak rashly about it. I keep thinking, "Maybe it's this?" but because I really dislike being wrong, I don't speak strongly about it. And I think how one "feels" something is too personal a realm.

Therefore, when a story confirms things through dialogue, flashbacks, or actions, I get very excited. It’s like, "Now I can talk about it!" That's how I brought this post forth today.

Getting to the point, this manga is very well-written when it comes to emotional aspects (the emotions and the persuasiveness of the situations that evoke those emotions) of well-crafted characters. In my opinion, characters like Ai, Aqua, and Kana are quite well-developed, and other characters, even in their personal episodes or specific points, have at least a desirable level of persuasiveness as needed. In most cases, at least. Some scenes left me a lil confused time to time still, but at most, the scenes written with a clear perspective often show and evoke strong emotions, which I consider a strength of this manga. Considering the author's previous work was a romance manga... I guess someone who comes from writing romance manga is built differently! (I haven't watched Kaguya-sama though).

As for Kamiki, his past was as I expected. Looking at the small hints that were sprinkled earlier, I didn't think it would turn out much different from what was actually depicted. Realistically, a child who became the father of twins at the age of 15 (a highly unusual age by modern standards) couldn't have been so calculating and meticulous in using Ai or intentionally manipulating them to have their children, no matter how crazy he was, even if considering the manga’s verisimilitude. Ai is a smart person. She might not have received a proper education compared to the average person due to her inability to fit into the social safety net, but I think her innate intelligence was quite good... For Ai, Kamiki was someone who could maintain a good relationship with her, with her being the older out of the two, even. Being the cautious and careful person she is. Ai's would have coolly cut ties and walked away rather than being used if there was a need to. So I always thought their relationship would have been genuine at some point, at least.

And looking at his past, as expected... (even if it’s a manga, the whole situation he was in was too dreadful...) looking at his personality, he was a gentle and pure child who was tossed around a lot when he was younger. If an 11-year-old child had a relationship with an adult, the adult is absolutely not a proper human being. There’s no room for another interpretation. Even if the child said "it was okay", there’s no room for leniency. It’s nonsense. Kamiki had been sexually abused from a very young age, so it was almost impossible for him to form a proper concept about it, and he was at a resignation to the things that were happening to him... Ai was the one person who got close to him and wanted to help him escape from that situation. But since Ai was only a middle schooler, she realistically had no power to do anything drastic... Both lacked proper guardians and had a deficiency in love, so when they were fully exposed to an environment where outward attractiveness was heavily utilized, they had no means to protect themselves. The best they could do was create a mask to show others and keep convincing themselves that they were okay with it... They were drawn to each other because they shared that similarity and understood that part of each other. I liked that these two were set as peers around the same aga because, especially for young children, age difference has a significant impact on social experience and individual standing. It's better to have a similar age if they are to have an equal relationship. Adults should be with adults, and children should be with children. Their worlds are different, and even a completely insignificant adult can easily exploit and manipulate a child. I believe that relationships should be with people who share a similar perspective and have similar emotional resources to offer each other.

The scene where Ai goes to Airi and calls her just a sex offender might be exaggerated, but if we say exaggerated... it means there was some face-to-face interaction and that Ai helped Kamiki separate from Airi. Ai probably wanted to do what was depicted in the movie. In reality, you have to deal with the aftermath, and it probably didn’t go smoothly like the adult just backing off or listening to a teenager. However, Ai’s actions had some effect in helping Kamiki get away from Airi to some extent, leading to a period where they officially dated. During this time, Kamiki must have truly loved and been happy with Ai. The adults around didn’t know about the situation, and they never helped Kamiki. The one who listened, understood, and shared the troubling and dreadful situation that Kamiki had grown accustomed to for years was Ai.

For Kamiki, there was only Ai.

When Airi blackmailed and gaslit him into despair, Kamiki’s thoughts were to turn to Ai for help because there was only Ai for him. Ai was indeed everything to Kamiki, supporting and pulling him out of tough situations. Ai was like a light in his life. They already had mutual affection, so it wasn’t surprising.

Meeting someone who truly understands, accepts, and loves you is extremely precious and significant. The statement that he sincerely loved Ai is true because there was truly no one else in the world for him to love. He led a very isolated life.

I won't delve deeply into Ai’s analysis here since I covered that last time. But the statement that Ai wanted to shoulder everything together and share a future with kamiki was absoultely genuine. Then why did he leave and say such heartless things that would break Kamiki’s heart?

That'd be because having a child meant more responsibility for Kamiki, and Ai thought Kamiki couldn't handle it. So Ai decided to leave to lessen Kamiki’s burden, thinking that would be less painful for him than staying together. Ai probably felt that no matter what, Kamiki wouldn't break up with her unless she said something really harsh. Kamiki's mindset at that time, as shown in his thoughts, was that it was just the two of them against the world, and they could bear any pressure together. That feeling is understandable. So pitiable, really. Ai, however, also wasn’t someone who was very mentally healthy. I'm sure she wanted to help him, but her ways of "helping" wasn't and couldn't be so ideal because she too was only a child. Additionally, I feel Ai was quite conscious of being a year older, wanting to take care of the struggling Kamiki (Ai seems to have a maternal instinct despite not receiving such care herself). She wanted to share Kamiki’s burdens but couldn't share her own dark and difficult parts because she felt Kamiki was too fragile. So, to unburden Kamiki, she left with very harsh and definitive words, thinking Kamiki would be better off without her and their children. Hearing such harsh words, Kamiki immediately thought, "Oh... I am the problem," and understood why Ai left, hence couldn’t hold her back. Ultimately, he ended up believing that even Ai couldn’t love and accept him, which led to Kamiki’s self-deprecation, thinking he was the problem all along. After realizing she had clung to Ai, he thought, "Ai didn't love me, she was there because she just couldn't avoid me being too pure and innocent"

However, his love for Ai wouldn’t have disappeared just like that. Ai was too significant for Kamiki. He loved her to the extent that he felt he heard his whole world collapsed from the breakup.

When Kamiki was near the hospital during Ai's delivery, I don’t think he intended to harm Ai. Why would he harm the person he truly loved who was having his children? He was probably heartbroken for a while after Ai’s breakup with him and, upon hearing about Ai’s health issues on the news, worriedly searched for her until he found about the hospital she was admitted to. On the day the children were born, it could be that he couldn’t approach Ai due to him being self-conscious about Ai’s refusal. He just nervously lingered nearby, and that's when he could have encountered Ryosuke, who was stalking Ai. I might be interpreting too favorably...

When Kamiki learned that Ai was going to give birth, even though Ai had said she wouldn't, he was probably surprised but not resentful. He might have been confused and curious about why she decided to have the children, but upon seeing the newborns from afar, he likely felt overwhelmed with emotion, thinking they were his children.

Perhaps he even thought it would have been nice if they could have been a family together. Though Ai intended to show the children to Kamiki for the first time when they were around four, I suspect Kamiki had been concerned and affectionate about them even before that.

If they had kept in touch intermittently and Ai had sent pictures of the children, things might not have become so extreme. Regardless, I believe Kamiki felt affection for their children. Though Taiki was a trauma for him...

The phone call scene should be shown from Kamiki's perspective once. Having kept a distant watch over Ai and the children, he would have felt internal familiarity and gladness, thinking, "Could we meet again?" After being firmly rejected, he might have made bad decisions. It's hard to know how much of what he said regarding Ryosuke is true, but the idea that Kamiki wanted to kill Ai? If that were true, the more detailed confession (that it wasn’t intentional) would not have come out when Aqua had pushed for it. He said that he was the one that clung to her and killed her and tried to leave it at that at first. Kamiki’s willingness to accept lifelong infamy for his actions, by his own child, implies something different. What he's said after he was inquired further by Aqua seems more truthful than what was initially told. There's probably more to this because it still seems illogical and weird to some extent, but we have to remember he was okay with being perceived at being solely responsible Ai's murderer to Aqua in Ch 153, but his detailed explanations that may not have been even told tells to be a bit different from that. That means he probably feels guilty enough to blame himself entirely for what's happened.

Kamiki advising Aqua and Ruby aligns with my interpretation of his character. These actions seem sincere. Given his affection for Ai, he may feel some warmth towards their children, as he once referred to Ruby as "our" children. He's also been able to see through how Aqua is in a very accurate sense, he seems to have watched him intently. Hence, when Aqua approached him, he expressed his feelings honestly.

To Aqua, he says stuff like "you might find me detestable, but I was glad to talk like this with you", and he gives some advice to Ruby too in a pretty kind way, actually. These actions are likely genuine. It's only natural to find the children, who resemble themselves and their loved one, adorable. Just as Ai told the twins, while dying, that she was glad to have given birth to the children, I think Kamiki, even if they didn't love the children as much as they do for Ai, would at least be happy about their existence. I believe Kamiki would have kept a distant watch over them all along. It's just that he couldn't approach them. As I mentioned before, if he really is a god or possesses some powers, he, along with Ai, who's become a star, might have been supporting the children together in their own respective ways. Though the children were not born intentionally, they were still born out of love.

I got it right, didn't I? In my post about Ai, I wrote that Kamiki might have wanted to take responsibility for the children, but Ai could've had hid and left to avoid burdening him. When Kamiki heard about the pregnancy, he immediately proposed marriage, didn't he? If they had been in their early twenties, they might have really been able to get together. They might have raised the children well as a young couple, finding them quite adorable. If they had become parents at a more typical age, they wouldn't have been incapable of raising the children. In fact, Ai contacted him when the children were about four years old, and she was twenty. She couldn't reunite with Kamiki because of her thriving idol career and the potential scandal.

From Ai's perspective!! If she had hoped for and imagined raising their children together, it means she believed Kamiki would take good care of them, and she was probably right. Also, Ai's idea of happiness included this. Ai, when you look closer, was inexperienced due to her youth but still loved the children in her own way and had a maternal instinct. Talking to Ryosuke to distract him when the door chain wasn't on and he could have invaded and harmed the children was a wise choice.

Haha, speaking of that, maybe because I fell asleep thinking about this manga, I had a terrifying dream last night. I was threatened by a crazy person with a razor blade in a large shopping mall, walking with them like a hostage. I kept talking to avoid being killed, seized the blade, and ran for my life. I got in a car, thinking I was safe, but people were fleeing in panic. The person had more than one blade and started swinging it when their hostage escaped. I felt guilty. I'm so glad it was just a dream.

It's my first time having such a dream. Even though it's not real, experiencing it in a dream makes me respect Ai's response. She managed to calm and turn away Ryosuke, protecting the children. Ai is smart and thoughtful. Her ways of speech to induce not getting back together was really blunt and hurtful not not exactly the best in terms of the emotions it could bring forth, but understandable. Her character is often lacking in emotional responses but sharp in thinking. Between the two, Kamiki is the more emotional one, but Ai was more mature in their relationship. Still, Ai loved Kamiki to the point of wishing he would rely on her and wanting to be his support and that says a lot. That was her way of loving.

Back to Kamiki, what are his current feelings about Ai? He still loves her and was once(and even now) is willing to give everything for her. His feelings for Ai were genuinely deep. Even when he resigned himself to believing Ai never loved him, he was willing to be avenged by Aqua if that's what she wanted. This wasn't a lie. He wouldn't lie to his children. His parental feelings are also genuine.

But there's something more. Kamiki has something in common with Aqua. There's something vast that he carries without revealing everything. After breaking up with Ai, he might have done a lot of wrong things, but his base nature actually seems to be on the timid side, even gentle. He couldn't properly communicate with Ai when she decided to break up all of a sudden, and just let her go, indicating his mild nature. For someone like him to take extreme actions, something extreme must have happened. Ai's death would be such a trigger. If he were to act extremely, it would be related to Ai. He lived a life of being pushed around, with little attachment to himself, being saved by Ai and deeply wanting to be with her. Ai caused him pain but was also his savior. For Kamiki, Ai was his reason for living.

When I saw the lyrics of "Fatal," I immediately had a huge hunch. The psychological state reflected in the song perfectly matches Kamiki's feelings towards Ai. It's very blind and desperate, with what he's originally had twisted negatively. The narrator of the song keeps trying to give and do something, feeling it's still not enough. This song fills in the gaps in Kamiki's character that were hinted at but not explicitly described. The narrator couldn't be anyone but Kamiki.

I understood why Kamiki came to love Ai so deeply through the flashbacks. Given their backgrounds, it made sense that he would love Ai immensely. So when I heard the song and read the lyrics, I immediately felt it was right. Do you think my analysis will be way off?

It seems like Ai and Kamiki's story draws motifs from Japanese mythology. One motif comes from the gods of entertainment, Ame-no-Uzume and Sarutahiko (in terms of abilities), and the other from the couple Izanagi and Izanami (with Amaterasu—she has something to do with Ruby-, Tsukuyomi, Susanoo—the sea god—Aqua). In the myth, Izanagi tries to bring back Izanami, who died giving birth, from the underworld but ultimately fails to revive her.

This narrative aligns with the first season's ending song "Mephisto" and the second season's opening "Fatal," which are about wanting to save someone and meet them again. So far, all efforts have been in vain, and the songs mention continuously offering something. If these songs reflect Kamiki's feelings, then Kamiki must still love Ai and desperately wish for her to come back to life. This seems very likely.

The concept of the "stage" is also mentioned in both songs. The protagonist struggles on stage, which won't let them go. They don't actually want to live that way, but their only purpose for enduring it is to reunite with their loved one. These songs seem like spoilers, hinting at future developments. Otherwise, why would such lyrics appear? It feels like there's a stage set by the gods, and the characters are trapped within it.

The first season's ending is titled "Mephisto," referring to a demon who grants wishes in exchange for one's soul.

Whether it's Aqua, Kamiki, or both, there's clearly a deal involving risking their existence or life to see Ai again. But it can't be Aqua because he was told by the Tsukuyomi girl that Ai could no longer reincarnate. Aqua's goal would be to fulfill Ai's wishes, not to meet her again. However, the songs' themes are clearly different from that. Something is up.

There are definitely suspicious gaps in Kamiki's actions, but thinking this way brings consistency to his sparse psychological reveals. One way or another, this character is obsessed with Ai, and Ai wants to help him.

When he realizes that the person he loved loved him back, he should be either sad or happy. But there's a reason for his shock (which is, also natural, but he's in utter shock). It might be that he's in a state where he cannot be saved.

When this character asked Ai for help as a child, Ai sincerely wanted to help but couldn't do enough alone. So, she wanted to help him along with their children. Comparing now to then, he might have walked into a much deeper pit on his own, for Ai's sake. Depending on the extent of what he did, he might end up still being unforgivable.. or maybe he might not have actually committed something as serious as it's been hinted and have a chance to be actually brought back to happiness But I can't envision a future where Kamiki lives happily for now. His life has been too miserable, so unfortunate.. and it's probably really messed up at this point too, so sacrificing himself for his children and following Ai might be his happy ending. Ai wants to see him, so it could be most happy if she came to take him with her. Considering the scenes shown so far, it's unclear if he deserves a happy ending. But anyhow, there's likely some special circumstance the guy's in that's going to bring a new light about his character

That's it. I had to talk about it all before the next episode comes up! If I'm wrong, well, that's that! But it was so fun analyzing him~

[chaotic-mystery]

Pairing: dbf!joel x f!reader

Summary: The next morning you wake up confused about the previous night. You have to start making your life better, and doing tequila shots the first night home didn’t help.

Content warnings: eventual smut, 18+ only mdni!, eventual smut, mean Joel, enemies to lovers, daddy issues galore, swearing, hangovers, red thongs trying to be stolen, reader tried to smack Joel but that didn’t end good, Joel was nice for like 2 seconds, then mean Joel came out.

Word Count: 3.3K

A/N: Thank you all for the patience with me on this! I’m so ready to continue and show you were this is going. I love you. Enjoy 🖤

With the morning sun pouring into your small bedroom window, you felt a leg under yours, brows furrowed at the spare body parts. Fuck. What did I do last night? You lift your head and turn it to the right, noticing the messy head of black curls and suddenly your eyes go wide. Tommy. Did I fuck Tommy last night? Soft snores came from his body while he lay there completely unaware of your internal panicking. 

Tucking in your arms under you to give you a boost up and out of bed, Tommy rolls over and grabs the pillow, suffocating it between his arms and chest. As you stand there with your hand covering your mouth, you wondered just how you got yourself into this mess. Maybe it was the tequila shots, maybe it wasn’t. Who’s to say? 

It was in fact, the tequila shots. 

How could you have been so careless, having sex with the second good looking guy you laid eyes on the moment you got back home. First, first good looking guy you laid your eyes on. 

The bathroom door closes behind you and you press your back against it, mind racing at how to handle this whole situation. Your feet tapped against the cold tile as you paced back and forth. 

What were you going to tell Tommy when he woke up thinking you wanted to be something, expecting to be a regular sleeper in your bed? 

Your hand covers your mouth in disbelief. What the fuck am I gonna do?

A deep breath enters your lungs as a boost of confidence that you can be straightforward with him about this. I’ve got this. You grab the doorknob and turn it to open the door, head poking out first to find Tommy still snoring away. He didn’t move one bit. Lightly tapping his shoulder, you grew impatient at the efforts going to waste. This wouldn’t be so bad if you didn’t have to go job hunting today, like you promised yourself you would. 

With your bunny slippers trampling through the damp grass to Joel’s front door, you adjusted and tightened your robe only about a million times to make sure nothing was showing or sticking out. It was already 9:33 A.M, surely Joel has been awake for hours, right? He’s an older man and they are always up early for who fucking knows what. With your hand switching from beating on the door and ringing the doorbell, someone was bound to answer. The front door flies open to a very grumpy looking Joel, yanking down the rest of his shirt to cover his abdomen. 

“Can you please come get your brother from my bed? I need to go job hunting today and he isn’t waking up. It may have something to do with the tequila shots.” You scratched the back of your neck, too embarrassed to look at him.

A scoff leaves his lips and he shakes his head slowly. “Gotta be fuckin’ kidding me. Talk to me all crazy n’ shit last night but now you need my help for your benefit? And for the record, I don’t doubt he’s still sleeping. I fuckin’ heard you two going at it all night after I specifically told you not to keep me up all night. So no, I’m not helping. See ya.” The door was just about closed when you put your hand between it and the door frame to make Joel choose whether or not he wanted to crush your hand. 

“Move. Your hand.” His nostrils flared slightly, his eyes shooting daggers into you. 

“No. Come get your brother or I’ll make being my neighbor a living hell for you.” No more jokes, no more bullshit was coming from you. If you didn’t find a job soon, you’d just be giving your dad more ammunition to use in the future when he talks about how disappointed he is with you. 

Joel’s fingers tapped against the door while he contemplated if he wanted to get roped into this or not. “I swear to fuckin’ god little girl, this better be the first and last time I’m gonna have to do this. Don’t drag him into your shit.” With one swift move he was walking down the porch steps on his way to your bedroom, muttering some bullshit under his breath. When he reaches your room he notices the door slightly shut and he looks to you to tell him to go in. “He’s not..naked…is he?” He whispers to you.

“Not that I’m aware of…but now that you mention it I don't remember honestly.” You whispered back, staring at the ground. 

The amount of restraint Joel had to use to not shout at you right then and there for not remembering was astronomical. His calloused palm flies to his forehead and smacks it roughly. “You are a pain in my fuckin’ ass and you haven’t even been here a week!” He whispers louder at you as he shoves the door open and takes a few steps inside. With his hand covering his eyes in case his younger brother's bare ass was out, he stopped where he felt was the middle of your room. 

“Tommy, get up. Cmon. Get dressed. Up, let’s go.” His foot reached out until it stopped on the box spring and he nudged it a few times to get Tommy moving. Soon enough Tommy rolled over and took the sheet with him, his black boxers poking out slightly. 

“Would you stop, he’s not naked.” You hiss and yank Joel’s hand off his face. A small gasp came from him as he opened his eyes and was met with a still half asleep Tommy. 

“Tommy, let’s go man; wake your ass up!” Joel groans and shakes the hell out of his shoulder, obtaining groans from his brother. 

He turns his head upwards to look at Joel, eyes slowly blinking open. “Joel? What’re you doin’- wait, did we tag team her like we did that one g-” His words were immediately ceased with Joel’s hand covering Tommy’s lips quickly, loud shushing drowning out his voice. “Get up, we’re leaving so Miss princess can go find a job and be a productive member of society like the rest of us common folk.” Joel bent down and threw whatever clothes were in a pile by his feet at Tommy, hoping and praying he’d get dressed and they can get the hell outta there and Joel can get on with his day. 

“This isn’t mine, but I’d love to keep it..” Tommy held up your red thong from the previous night's escapades and your face got feverish to the touch, your hands covering your face to shield you from the embarrassment. 

Joel smacks the back of his head and tells him to knock it off. “Hurry up, I’ll be back at the house. He turns to look at you who still had your face covered. With a firm bump of his forearm against yours, you lowered them and sighed. 

“For your sake and mine, don’t invite him over again. Next time he’s your problem to deal with.” Surprisingly to you his tone wasn’t harsh for once, more of a sympathetic ring to it this time. 

“Ye-yeah I won’t. Thanks again.” Taken aback by his semi sweet piece of advice, you nodded towards the door. “I should let you out so you can get back to your day.” With your hands in your back pockets as you walked him to the front door, you could still hear Tommy stomping around upstairs, trying what sounded like putting on his shoes. You looked at your phone to see if you missed any new texts from your dad, not a single message. You told him you’d be finding a job today but did he care to respond, tell you good luck, anything? No. Why would he? Joel must’ve been able to tell something was wrong because his frame softened along with his face, brows unfurrowed. 

“You uh..you okay?” He asked, cocking his head to the side just a tad to see your face while you looked at your phone. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.” you coldly answer, pushing the front screen door open for him. He wanted to press the situation further but stopped himself. It was no secret you were bothered by something but he couldn't guess what it was. “I’m going to your dads here in a bit to talk about where he wants this fuckin’ pool for Janet.” His brown eyes rolled slightly as he let out a breathy chuckle. With his hand pressed against the screen door to prop it open and walk out to the porch, Joel stops and stands still for a moment before turning back around to look at you. 

“You sure nothin’ is wron-” 

He was cut off by Tommy marching down your stairs to the front door, stopping in front of you. “You, little lady. No more tequila shots for me, ever again.” He laughs, his gorgeous smile playing to his lips. Your stomach started to turn and have a funny feeling inside. Maybe it was the fact you really weren’t all that interested in Tommy. Yeah you banged him last night, but before that happened you two sat up for hours and talked while pouring sloppy shots of more tequila. He told you about him and how he worked so closely with Joel, his beautiful niece Sarah and how she was like the daughter he never had. 

“So maybe I’ll see you later?” The eagerness in his voice was so prominent it hurt that much more. “Uhh..maybe. We’ll talk soon, promise.” 

You kiss his cheek and send him and Joel on their way back across the grass to Joel’s house. 

Frustration and confusion course through your veins while you press your back against the front door, trying to make sense of what’s happened within the last 48 hours. It was almost 10:30 when you realized you should probably wash yourself before you go out all afternoon. 

With just enough time to spare to smoke a cigarette to calm your nerves before leaving the house, you look over to Joel’s driveway and see his truck is gone. He was probably at your dads house by now, telling him all about this morning and how you’re the worst neighbor already. Who cares what your dad has to say to that though, you’re a grown ass adult and you can do what you want. 

You smooth your hair down one last time in the reflection of the window before you flick the half smoked cigarette and blow the smoke from your mouth. Reaching into your purse you pull out the squashed packet of gum that was half gone. The sweet notes of mint dance to your nose as you unwrap the piece and toss it in your mouth, discarding the paper back into the package. Still no message from your dad the last time you checked. You probably should’ve never messaged him about it, he was never going to care like he pretends. Getting in your car and cranking the air and still painfully getting used to the heat once again, you put on your music and begin driving around all over town to find a decent job somewhere in this hellhole.

With the afternoon sun slowly going down, you huffed as you sunk back into your car after being denied from the seventh business to get a job. You could feel your luck fading with every declining response, the fear of being more of a disappointment creeping up on you like a scary shadow in the dark. The warm steering wheel held your head as you leaned forward to take a breath. 

Back at your dad’s house, Joel’s putting his things away back in his little tool bag he carries in his truck for shit like this. He hates being unprepared, it’s not a good look for himself. 

“So have you talked to your daughter recently?” Joel casually brings up as he puts away his tape measure. 

“Yeah, she texted me earlier this morning about finding a job but I don’t know about all that. She’s not what these people are lookin’ for. She’s always late and she flakes, she can never amount to anything and she doesn’t put her mind to it. She quits when the going gets tough, s’why she ran away from here all those years ago to follow her mother across the country. Told her it was a stupid idea and she’d regret it and now look where she’s at. Back here in Texas with me.” Your dad laughs like anything he just said was remotely funny. Joel stopped putting tools away the moment your dad started to talk shit about his own flesh and blood, the only one of his kids that continues to acknowledge his existence. Even though Joel was still very pissed about last night and this morning, he didn’t think it was right for your dad to be talking about you like that, especially to him, a complete stranger to you. 

He had to bite the inside of his cheek as he thought long and hard about what to say next. 

“But you did respond and tell her good luck or somethin’ right? Sure she’s nervous and it sounds like she wants to get it right this time.” He looks over at your dad who was watching the birds fly away from the trees, his red polarized sunglasses he got from the gas station years ago shielding his eyes from Joel’s. 

“No, I didn’t. She’ll be fine. Can’t hold her hand forever Joel. Plus I don’t know if they’d want her to work for them. They all heard the same thing I told you, can’t help that I know everyone in town and they wanna know my life.” He laughs again and Joel can feel his jaw clench together. 

“Alan, man cmon that’s messed up. You just said you can’t hold her hand forever but you aren’t helping her grow up either by doin’ that.”

Your dad just waves Joel off and chuckles, turning to look at him, “She’ll be fine.” Something told Joel you wouldn’t be though. 

On your drive home you skipped going back to your cozy hideaway and opted for the bar from last night, just having a taste for a beer. A single beer, no more tequila shots…for now. You sit down on the stool and turn yourself until you’re facing the bartender who just happened to be Michelle. There was a gnawing feeling at you, like you needed to apologize for putting Joel in a funk last night. 

“What can I getcha sweeth-” Her words silenced when she was face to face with you. Giving her a small wave, you took a deep breath, trying not to mix up your words. “I think we got off on the wrong foot and I’d really like to start over. I didn’t mean to step on your toes last night about your bar. I think it’s cute and for the record, Joel isn’t watching over me, he’s my dads best friend and yes we’re neighbors but I don’t want to fuck him and he doesn’t want to fuck me- he actually can’t even stand to be around me and that’s mutual so I-” 

“Okay, enough- stop it!” Michelle raises her voice and looks at you closely. 

“What do you care if I like you or not darlin’?” 

Your fingers comb your hair back and fall to the bar top, smoothing over an imperfection you managed to find. “I don’t want bad blood with anyone, that’s all. I’m already having a tough time finding a job and my dad- I’m sorry. I don’t mean to dump my problems onto you. I just don’t want the list of people wishing to see me fall on my ass grow. She was pouring you a diet coke and tossed a little straw in it, setting it down in front of you before leaning on her hands that were on the curve of the bar top. 

“You said you needed a job?” The fizzy drink rolls down your throat and you nod fast. You can see she’s thinking of something in her head, the way she's biting at her fingernail slightly and her eyes are scanning back and forth.

“Come back tonight for training and wear something sexy but nothing too crazy..it’s a bar not a porno.” Michelle raises an eyebrow at you and walks to the back with empty bottles, leaving you sitting in the stool alone and your half drank coke dripping with condensation. With your lips fishing for the straw, you sucked the rest of the liquid down and left a ten dollar bill under the cup and immediately got into your car to drive home. 

As you pull up to your house, you notice Joel’s truck is still gone, and no Sarah in sight. Wonder where she is…

Almost all of your clothes were tossed onto the floor while you tried to piece together a cute outfit. You landed on a black pleather halter top with laces in the front and black skin tight pleather pants. The black cowgirl boots your mom got you as a joke were finally making their way out of the box and onto some concrete. As you curled your hair and put it in a messy Pam Anderson inspired bun, you felt sexier than ever in weeks, maybe months. Bartending was all new to you but you’d like to think you learned new stuff quickly. With all of your touchup makeup packed away and about ten sprays of body spray, you were ready. 

The gravel in Joel’s driveway crunched under his tires and he put it in park. You peaked from the bathroom window so he wouldn’t see you, it looked like he was on the phone. 

Your chunky boot heels thump against the stairs and off you were out the door, ready to go to the first job you’ve been scared of doing. You cover your eyes from the warm setting sun and look at Joel through his truck window. He sighed and got out, immediately growing and looking away. “Where in the hell are you going? You better not be goin’ to Tommy’s I swe-” 

“Uuugh nooo I’m not and if I was, who are you to stop me?” You fire back, your purse dangling slightly. 

“Hey! I’m just trying- you know what? Forget it. How did the um..job hunting go?” Still not looking directly at you but in your direction, you told him how shitty it was. “Well um ya see..”

“But it’s totally okay because I stopped at Michelle's bar on the way home and she offered me a job. That’s where I’m going right now actually!” The excitement dripping from your words was like nails on a chalkboard to him considering how wide his eyes got. 

“You’ve got to be fuckin’ jokin’. You can’t seriously be working there?” He rubs his eyes out of frustration and groans loudly. Your smile slowly faded and you could feel the fiery ball of anger growing inside you. 

“What is the fucking issue?”

“Do you have to be everywhere in my life every damn time I turn around, Jesus christ! I mean, the first night you’re here you’re dumped on me and then you bang my brother, insult my girl’s bar and then turn around and work there? What goes through your fucking head sometimes?”

He puts his hand on his hips and stares at you, waiting for some sort of answer. You meet him halfway in the grass right on the property line and raise your hand to smack him for talking to you like that when he catches your wrist in midair, shoving it back down to your side.

“Fuck you! I didn’t ask for him to dump me on you! Newsflash, you’re friends with a dickhead! Michelle was the one who hired me and last time I checked it’s her bar, old man. Not yours. See you fucking never, asshole.” Just when you felt a sliver of hope of maybe ever mending this weird thing with Joel, he shoves his foot in his mouth and misspeaks, taking you right back to square one of not liking him. 

[lizzyscribbles]

You know what I realized yesterday through an event that I desire to never deal with again in my entire life?? Toga’s parents really did suck.

Today’s Rambling Thought: Toga, and why her parents deserve hell.

Picture this, it’s the evening, I’m getting ready to get on a discord call with my friend because we’ve been watching MHA together and we usually chat between episodes (it’s their first time watching the show, we’re in season three). I go to use the bathroom and what do I find?? Remnants!!! Of a bird!! I’m not talking about a few feathers here, I’m talking bones, a pile of internal organs, and a half mutilated wing covered in blood and God knows what else. Completely dismembered. Of course, there are two potential culprits in this crime scene, both cats. (I should mention these aren’t my cats, I was watching them for a friend), but I’m pretty sure the one circling my feel and meowing proudly is the one. So, I get to clean up bird guts at like 8PM, trying my hardest not to gag.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT I DID TO THE POTENTIAL CRIMINAL??

Nothing. I patted his head and gave him a scratch.

All this delightful context to put into perspective this realization that came to me later that night, how is it that I - someone who actually had to clean up a mutilated bird - nicer to a cat that ISN’T MY OWN than Toga’s parents were TO THEIR OWN DAUGHTER. Now I’m no saint, and I realize a cat and a human are completely different, but come on, for real guys?

I don’t think we’re told how old Toga is in the scene where she’s offering her parents the bird (if you know please share) but we know she’s a little kid. Like I’ve said before, I’m studying psychology in college and I worked with kids in foster care, so if I know anything at all it’s this: Children are little sponges, and they automatically want to do whatever it is you tell them not to do. It’s a natural part of development, and actually something we don’t really lose as we get older (the specific term is rebel psychological reactance I think). So it’s really no surprise that after years and years of being told nothing but no when it came to these urges she had, she eventually just snapped. The kids I worked with were the same, the longer they were in the shelter I worked at the less they felt inclined to listen when we told them no, and I don’t think I need to explain why that’s dangerous.

Now, I’m not saying that consuming another’s blood as a child or gnawing on yourself in your sleep is normal behavior or something a parent shouldn’t be concerned about, but there’s a reason therapy focuses on replacing negative coping skills with positive ones. Did they ever go beyond just calling her weird and creepy? Did they take her to a doctor get a blood test and find out if maybe there’s a reason she was doing this beyond just being freaky? Does she have an iron deficiency?? I’m just rambling now and that’s pure speculation, but no, they just kinda insulted her over and over, told her not to, and sent her to quirk counseling which IS NOT a substitute for actual therapy I’m sure. The bottom line here is that you can’t take something away and not add anything in. You can’t tell someone not to do something and not supplement it with something else.

It’s little wonder that once she snapped, she went straight to “I just want to do whatever I want”, because she spent her whole life being told not to be something. I think it’s easy to forget that Toga is still legally a child at the start of the series, one who has not been taught how to safely deal with her urges. No wonder she felt more at home with the league of villains, they gave her what she never got. No wonder Ochaco’s actions in the final chapter shocked her so much. She was never accepted for who she was until then. She was never treated like she was a normal person.

The people who were supposed to love her most in the world saw her as a disease to be rid of, and I that disgusts me more than a dead bird ever will.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk, I’m gonna go ramble about how, as an author and a fan, I love her end even if it makes me so sad, and Ochaco’s part in it.