#(besides the fucking inflationđ)
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genuine question. have things gotten better domestically with biden as president, as compared to when trump was president? genuinely asking.
#my post#i personally have seen no change#(besides the fucking inflationđ)#not a trump voter simply a âiâm not voting for a genocidaireâ-er
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sick and twisted || stepsibling g!p winrina x virgin!freader
notes: making a comeback. sorry anon for the long ass delay, but i also merged it with another ask bc i thought it would work well together. do NAWT ask why i took so long- i was going thru it đđ
cw: porn with plot, stepcest/pseudo incest, noncon -> dubcon, g!p dom winrina, virgin!reader, corruption, use of cuffs, oral (giving), blackmail, biting/marking, creampie, gagging, degredation, slapping, family issues, arguments, mentions of divorce.
wc 3.9k
if you told jimin and minjeong that they would have another step-sibling in their life they would scoff at you, then laugh and say thatâs not possible⊠then scoff in your face again.
yet here they were moving into another house their father bought for you and your mother.
isnât that fun?
jimin, the actual biological child, was born and raised with a hot headed mother and poor excuse of a father. living with the two was hell for her, dealing with her mothers bull shittery almost every damn day.. and the absence of her father always led to her mother lashing out at her and never him. longer down the line of their shitty marriage, the father decided to pull the trigger and divorce her for good. maybe it was money issues? maybe it was something else? jimin didnt like to pry and she was glad she left it like that.
minjeong was the child of a broke, whorish and shitty woman. the marriage between jimin's father and minjeongâs mother actually lasted quite a while⊠to their surprise. who knew another horrid woman in this rich fuck of a manâs life would actually do some good to the both of them.
they ended up acting like they knew each other from day one- like i kid you not, they were inseparable. even after the divorce of their father and mother they still stayed together, obviously choosing their dad because god that man was rich as hell and they knew that they could use some privilege from it. not only that, but for some reason their dad loosened up a little, he actually became a much better person and worked on his self improvement, unlike minjeongâs mother who stayed a cheating BITCH ⊠no wonder why their father divorced her sorry ass.
but beside the point. jimin, minjeong and their father arrived at the new mansion. somewhere secluded and somewhere breathtaking- only because your step father really thought your mother was the one and only woman for him.
jiminjeong, without prior notice to their fathers new found wife, and no knowledge of the womans daughter, were left shocked when they saw the two of you enter through the mansionâs doors.
your first impressions werenât good at all⊠your mother looked and acted like- guess what?!! a bitch⊠and you? you seemed pretty decent at first, so jimin and minjeong didnât really care. yeah, unfortunately they didnât click with you, but they thought that they should give it some time. you were unfamiliar with the new environment and they knew it would cause crazy anxiety.
â
a couple months into the family and you and your mother finally started to act comfortably around the rest. it didnât take long for you mother to start acting up though- frankly she opened up too much, as in, she started to become more and more of an asshole as the months went by. at first it started as simple requests from your step father. she would go around the house demanding him to buy this and that. her ego grew⊠and when i say grew, it inflated actually. nothing could stop her from being a prick, and unfortunately she influenced you to act like the same way.
she had a plan- she really didnât love your step father. instead she was really just into it for the money. and of course, you knew that plan from the beginning. as much as you didnât like your mother, the plan wasnât half bad- deciding to stay with her was the right choice, well you thought so anyways. anything for money i guess.
the workload he had stressed your step father out so much and your mothers constant requests for money really didnât help. berating him almost every day, sometimes she would go so far to the point of him having to lock himself in his office just so he could avoid her.
only 6 months of living together and sheâs already driving him crazy? jimin and minjeong looked at each other in disbelief, surely you wouldnât join in on the disruptive behaviour⊠right?
oh they were so wrong.
YOU-
you wanted the plan to go well too⊠you needed that cash. fuck your mother and everything, that cash meant more than your strained bond. you wanted it for yourself, so now it was your turn to fuck around and be a dick head.
doing everything in your power to get money from your step father, like your mother did. it started out all simple and sweet.. you know like casually asking for allowance, and since he was rich as fuck, allowance was usually something around 2k per ask. racking up the money somewhere in your room for yourself, you didnât realise jimin and minjeong were staring at you through the crack of the door.
jimin carefully lowered herself to minjeongâs height, making sure you wouldnât be able to hear an utter from her. whispering in her ear âwhat a waste⊠sheâs pretty but sheâs a money stealing prickâ
somehow minjeong was calm about it, thinking you were just stashing it up because she knew you were previously broke. sheâs been in that same situation, showing some sort of empathy towards you âi mean.. she hasnât done any bad yet⊠well i hope she never does actually. i hope sheâs not like her momâ
jimin scoffs âi doubt thatâ
the sound of something dropping on the floor caught their attention, youâd dropped a bag of some sort. their hearts beating out of their chests thinking that you had caught them watching you. thankfully you didnât, uttering under a few curses under your breath and nothing else. sighing in relief, they had back to their respective rooms and called it a day.
that was until they heard you shouting downstairs after a couple of hours.
âfuck you mean you canât give me any more money. arenât you supposed to be my dad? you know, someone who cares for their children and shitâ
jimin woke up first, creeping into minjeongs room and shaking her awake ââŠmmm⊠huh? whatâs upâ
âdonât be surprised, but i think y/n is arguing with our dad⊠told you she was like her momâ
sneaking their way downstairs, tiptoeing so they wouldnât be heard. they notice their dad hunched over in the couch, his hands covering his face in.. anger? or sadness. they couldnât tell.
âGOD- fuck youâre such a shit step dad⊠you know what fuck youâ the step father being on the verge of tears, the way he balled up his fists, the way his face was red hot and the way he was biting down hard on his lip, you knew it was was working and you knew you were such a shit person for it, you were growing heated too- for some reason. mothers genetics you could say.
âyou couldnât keep your first wife, and you couldnât keep your second wife?! and now youâre going to lose your third all because you canât provide for your family like the good man you are.â you laughed in his face and clicked your tongue âahhh it all makes sense now. you're a miserable excuse of a father and a poor excuse of a husband. youâre rich as hell i dont know why you canât give me anymore moneyâŠâ
âi-i.. iâm trying my best you know y/nâ voice cracking âiâm doing my best to keep the family together⊠i just want us to be happyâ
âyeah well youâre not doing a good job now are you? hell, youâre also a shitty example of a man too. go ahead and write those divorce papers. iâm sick of your shitâ
with that, you walked back upstairs, jimin and minjeong running back up trying not to get caught.
youâd struck a nerve in them, witnessing you berate their dad knowing that heâs a changed man, made them vexed. jimin had been peering at your face, an obvious crease in her forehead and in between her brows made it obvious that she was planning something sick. minjeong had a cold and blank scowl.
they both gave each other knowing looks, a smirk on both of their faces⊠whatever they had in mind was not morally right, but they couldnât care less.
â
sleeping soundly after the whole argument, glad that you could possibly get something out of it by the time you woke up, you failed to hear the sound of your lock being picked open.
jimin creeped towards your bed, gritting her teeth as she tried her very best not to punch you in the face. utter disgust was the one thing she was feeling, looking at you made her grimace. she found you pretty at first glance but after she witnessed you tear down her dad, her vision was shattered. even if she wanted to beat you up, she couldnât, she wanted to defile you first. with shaky hands, she lifted the thick bed sheets off of your body, carefully stripped you out of your clothes and gazed at your naked body. she lightly slapped her cheek, you looked good bare but she didnât let that take over her⊠yet.
she hooked your wrist onto the bed frame. the cold icy feeling of the cuffs latching onto your left wrist made you stir in your sleep, yet it wasnât enough to wake you up from your deep slumber.
minjeong had the job of writing on you. depriving your humanity by writing objectifying words on your bare stomach. words such as âslutâ, âfilthy whoreâ, âgold diggerâ, were written across your stomach, thighs and legs. if it wasnât humiliating enough, she took pics just for safe measures. it was horrible, yes she knew that.
she thought how genius it would be to draw an arrow on your lower abdomen pointing down towards your pussy, the words above saying âuse hereâ. giggling to herself as she snapped another pic.
the flash from minjeongâs camera startled you. waking up grumpily asking âwhat the fuck is going onâ as you tug on your arm, only to realise that youâve chained to the bed.
first thing you noticed was minjeongâs camera pointing towards you, bright flash blinding your eyes âfuck- shit, this isnât funny. turn the camera offâ the chains on the cuff rattling as you attempt to pry them off âguys⊠this isnât funny⊠take it offâ
second thing you realised was the lack of clothing. the chilly air hit your body, goosebumps forming on your skin. the warmth of the blanket was no more and the intense humiliation began to seep into your body.
thirdly, the writing on your stomach and legs as you look down analysing the situation.
âyou shouldnât have said that earlier. the disrespect you have⊠yu y/n youâre disgustingâ jimin spat at you, her gaze turned towards minjeong who then nodded. afraid that they would kill you right on the spot, automatically you started to sob out pathetic pleas
âlisten, shit- iâm sorry. i was desperate okay⊠he shouldâve given me the money anyway- cut me some slack, it was only a one time thing. you know, me and my mom rea-â
a hand flew to your face âshut the fuck upâ she left a red stinging mark on your cheek- well deserved. minjeong gritted her teeth, she didnât want her dad to wake up to another argument yet alone waking up to his two kids fight his other kid âthis picture i took.. do you want this to be uploaded everywhere?â rapidly shaking your head in denial. the image in question was so vulgar, your legs being spread apart while the words âuse hereâ were pointing right at your pussy, it was truly horrible. minjeongs lips tugged upwards, biting back a snicker only because she wanted to seem serious and mean about this- oh and also because the image violently turned her on.
ân-no⊠delete the pic- please iâll give the money back and apologise⊠just.. donât upload it anywhereâ hiccuping while hot tears streamed down to your chin.
âpoor youâ jimin added on âno one can help you now.. do as youâre toldâ her tone was sickening to hear.
it clicked and you felt disgusted, the knowing look that they had.. body language showing that they were about to ravish you. it was gross.
your tear stained face shifted into a dreaded look. feeling jittery, your eyes widened as both of them slid down their boxers, revealing their cocks that sprung up.
ââŠyou guys are sickâŠâ thereâs no way in hell that they were about to do this. but here they were, approaching you as you attempt to free your wrist from the cuffs again âget away f-from me⊠you sick fuckersâ minjeong sprang onto the bed first, holding your legs open as you try to kick away from her grasp. curses and shouts left your mouth, but they were useless since jimin wrapped her hand around it.
there was no use in fighting back. you gave into their heinous acts even if your body was rejecting them. no one was there to help you anyway. even if you called for your mother, she wouldnât give a shit since she only cared for herself from the very beginning.
jimin, who stood beside you, pressed her cock against your face. you could feel her throbbing as she placed it on your cheek, the hard thing felt slimy and gross- you denied her as she tried to forcefully shove it in your mouth, which ended up with her slapping it around your face like you were some common whore âopen up, unless you want those pics of you onlineâ of course you didnât want that- those posts would ruin your reputation, your self esteem. it would ruin you.
mentally screaming in your head, you open your mouth wide, feeling her thick cock enter your mouth slowly. jimin let out a long sigh, savouring the feeling of your tongue at the base of her cock- âa-ah.. youâre taking me whole? you slutâ moaning out as she steadily rocks her hips back and forth âyou should- mm fuck.. really use this m-mouth just to take dick, donât you agree jeongieâ
minjeong, who was stroking her dick in between your legs, nodded her head. fixated on the way you took jiminâs throbbing cock easily down your throat. she watched you with keen eyes, keeping her gaze on the way your lips parted and wrapped around her shaft while also listening to the gagging sounds you made everytime jimin hit the back of your throat.
having more of a moral compass in comparison to jimin, she felt a little bad for you- but couldnât help getting off to the view in front of her. she grinned, a very fucked up grin you could say. grabbing her phone again, she pressed record without you noticing- being so caught up with having dick stuffed in your mouth. spreading your lips apart, pointing the cameras and zooming in on your soaked pussy âyou really are a whore- getting wet from this.. you shouldâve said you wanted this from the beginning y/n. or were you too much of a coward to askâ slapping your pussy repeatedly, earning a few muffled moans.
putting the phone down minjeong slipped her hard cock inside of you, skipping the condom and everything.
your pussy was tight, almost like a virgins⊠wait- âgod, donât tell me youâre a⊠youâre a virgin?â a sick and twisted smile crept upon both jimins and minjeongs face. and the way they got harder hearing that news further implicated that they were morally fucked up in the head âmmm⊠fuck, youâre so tight that i can barely move⊠y/n ah- ngh..â by trying to push her dick further into you, it caused you to scream out in pain and pleasure- the sensation of her throbbing cock filling up your virgin pussy felt alien, yet so good. thankfully you were soaking wet, and the precum slathered around minjeongs dick helped it slide in much easier than it should have.
ânmghh hurts⊠hurts-â you manage to say between breaths, voice muffled by jimin's cock still being pumped in and out of your throat. minjeong couldnât care, extracting her anger out on your pussy, stretching it wide open for her own sick pleasure. she scoffed,
ânot so talkative now, are you?â she mocks, her hands gripping the sides of your hips, nails digging into your flesh as she jolts her hips which caused her tip to ram into the entrance of your cervix. fuck.. and it hurt like hell. never being filled up by something so large, your eyes begin to roll back, and you begin to scream around jimin's cock.
both of them showed absolutely no mercy, using your body as if it was a toy for their pleasure. being used in such a way made you feel heated, your stomach tightening as they continue to force themselves into your holes.
minjeong moaned out, her nails digging deeper and deeper into your flesh, almost breaking it. your tight cunt clamping down so hard on her cock threw her into a frenzy- she observes your face with hearts in her eyes, she never felt this powerful before, god⊠even her movements sped up- there was a husky rasp to her moans, it even seemed animalistic.
and there was jimin, gripping your hair in a messy ponytail just so that she can ruthlessly fuck your mouth. with the amount that she was tugging and pulling on your head, you could assume that your head was throbbing in pain- assuming anyways, because you were feeling strangely good that you most likely ignored the pain.
as planned, they continue their assault on you. pussy already stretched out and abused, and your jaw began to ache.
enough of that jimin thought. although she enjoyed your warm throat, mouth and tongue working magic on her cock, she couldnât forget that this was your punishment. the palm of her hand pushed your forehead, prompting you to lay back down, head meeting the soft pillows. you fell with a light thud- now due to the fact that you had nothing in your mouth to keep you quiet, and the way that minjeong was still pummelling into your pussy raw, you had no other choice but to cry out loud⊠not in a âsave me, help me!â way, it was more like a âfuck, fuck- mmnngh⊠w-wait- feels ah..!?â type of way.
jimin looked at her younger step sibling. she knew minjeong was too heated to even think about the punishment. she clicked her tongue in annoyance.
minjeongs fingers made their way to your clit, toying and rubbing with the sensitive nub. it only pushed you to moan even louder, the first time youâd have someone play with your clit.. waves of pleasure washed over your body causing you to wriggle around. seemed like jeongie was a little pussy drunk, actually no, she was pussy drunk. every pound forced your cunt to the best fucktoy for her. at this point her sweat dripped down from her temple to the side of her face with how fucking fast her hips were going.
jimin stood for a moment- thats when it struck her, another great plan came to mind. she kneeled on top of your bed, making it creak a little, shuffling a little closer to where minjeong was positioned, she whispered something sinister into her ears.
âget up-â jimin ordered with an authoritative voice âstand up y/nâ you winced, hissing out in pain as minjeong carelessly pulls her cock out with a little-
âmmm.. now? oh yeah, okayâŠâ jeongie thankfully takes the cuffs off. thank god she did because the pain from the hard ass metal had you rubbing your wrist, a slightly deep and red mark sat on your skin.
ây/n, stand upâ jimin ordered once again.
coughing out, voice hoarse ââŠfuck no⊠n-not gonnaâ
âstill talking back?â minjeong sneered. now both of them are pretty strong- being able to toss you across the room for shits and giggle.. but not so much shits and giggles when youâre forced to stand up, seized inbetween jimins strong grip, both hands around your bare shoulders. she momentarily gawked between your legs, she snickered-
âlowlife stealing bitch and now a whore even though you were a virgin⊠you honestly deserve thisâ all at once her dick pierces your cunt, her erratic movements earning a guttural moan that came straight out your throat. following jimin, minjeong came from behind, lifting your leg into the air so that she could make room for herself.
âdonâtâŠ!? youâre gonna b-break me- i canât fit both in me.. wait, please pleaseplease anything but this- please!?!â teasing her dick at your entrance, basking in the feeling of your wet pussy again. jimins thick cock was bigger than youâd anticipated- but having minjeongâs in your cunt as well would surely leave you unable to walk. not like they caredâŠ
ramming both at different speeds caused you to lose control of everything. unable to adjust to their length, your hands instinctively search for something to grab ,because really.. who can function normally with two girthy dicks stuffed inside of their virgin pussy.
if one of them pumped in, the other one pumped out. an endless stream of violent railing that turned your brain to mush. beyond saving, and beyond speech- nothing more than gargled moans and incoherent mumbles fell from your mouth. so, so intense that you felt like your body was giving in-
being dehumanised and degraded and only made for jiminjeongs use. you hated that you learned to love it.
jimin threw her head back, her mouth agape moaning at how stuffed your pussy was and how much of a cock slut you were. hips snapping each time she felt like you werenât reacting the way she wanted. huffing each time she felt close- her plan wasnât completed yet and because of that she had to restrain from shooting her load into your womb.
minjeong bit down on your shoulder, marking you everywhere she could- only because she could take a couple more pictures later and use that as blackmail and definitely not her own personal use. she nuzzled herself into the crook of your neck- leaving dark bruises scattered across your nape.
you wrap your arms around jimins neck âfeel- feel weird⊠haa.. mmngh-â you squeezed your eyes shut, your body tensed, you heard the two of them pant in your ear, jimins low moaning reverberating in your head and minjeong high pitched whimpers suggested that they were as close as you were.
âtake it- fuck,, take it all you filthy whoreâ jimin snapping her hips as she fills your entire cunt with her semen. not even a second later, minjeong ejaculates as well, she squeals and bites into your neck, both hers and jimins legs shaking from the harsh orgasm. you follow in their pleasure, letting out a strangled moan, head slumping backwards into minjeong as your body falls limp.
they leave you afterwards, letting you lay weakly on the floor âwhat happens here, stays here. if you tell anyone weâll know.. oh and those pics will be postedâ walking out the door as if nothing ever happened. and yet youâre laying down on your carpet cunt filled up with a mixture of their semen leaking out.
hmm⊠guess youâll have to piss them off again. who knows what theyâll do to you.
HELP IDK HOW TO FEEL ABT THIS? THOUGHTS????
#wintersera#cw: noncon#cw: stepcest#aespa smut#aespa x fem reader smut#g!p aespa#g!p winter#g!p karina#aespa karina smut#aespa winter smut#kpop smut#girl group smut#kpop girl group smut
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ryen is this canon 3tan yoongi talent?
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cvrshx3smOq/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
now i need a hundred plushies from him đ he's not going anywhere đ
âWhat the fuck?â
Heâs laughing. You just witnessed him effortlessly grab a third plushie from a clearly rigged claw machine and heâs laughing!
âNo, seriously, this is some wizard shit,â you accuse, unblinking as he bends to grab his prize before wiggling it in triumph. âHow are you so good at this?â
âIâm good at everything.â
Your scoff mixes with his mirth as you spin on your heel, arms now chock full of stuffed cats and one cute little frog.
But despite not wanting to further inflate the hot air balloon thatâs his ego, youâre so in awe that you canât help but comment,
âIâve never seen someone do that before.â
âYeah?â Beside you, Yoongi fetches something in his pocket. âNot even your brother? I think he got something from that one once.â
âReally?â
âOh, wait. No, that was me again.â
And the gloater of the century secures his spot.
âIâm so tired of you.â
âWait, wait,â he huffs out. âLook real quick.â
âHuh?â
As you turn his way, you only get a split second to recognize the phone in his long fingers.
Aimed right at you.
Did he justâ
Your reaction should be words, like telling him to stop, or reminding him that he shouldnât be doing anything much less taking a picture.
But what comes out instead is a blubbering, fumbling mess, and you lunge for the phone right before he backs up, grin stretching his face in the most devilish way.
âYoongiâ!â
âHmm?â
âWhat are youââ
âSo cute.â
Heâs still holding the phone oh god itâs a video?
âAre you recording?â
His burst of laughter gives him away, and the butterfly wings tickling your stomach make you join him, even though youâre hyper hyper hyperaware of your surroundings now.
You donât even know where the two of you stumble to, but youâre determined to not let him get away, bright colors and lights filling the night on all sides.
Finally, you clutch his hand as you squeeze all the plushies under an arm. âGive it!â
âNo!â
âYes!â You plead through a smile as you yank it from his hand.
But when you look at the screen, you discover that the video wasnât even being recorded. Because the red button is still sitting there untouched.
âŠWhy are you a tad disappointed?
Yoongiâs voice comes out soft,
âI know we canât, doll.â
And he sounds a tad disappointed, too.
Still staring at the phone, you make a decision. A quick one. A small one.
But one you make purely for him.
Switching to Photo Mode, you raise the phone up high, scrunching your face against the mini bunch of stuffed animals before capturing this moment.
And itâs not until you hand his device back to him that you realize.
Holy shit.
You really just took a selfie with Yoongiâs phone.
âKeep it,â you whisper. âOr donât, whatever.â
Heâs just staring at you, device almost limp in his hand as he stands there.
âYou.. You okay?â
âCome here.â
Youâre pulled in before you can question further, a chaste but full kiss planted on your lips before youâre left to your own two feet again.
âLetâs go find them,â he leads, voice low. âI think theyâre almost done with the ride.â
âK,â you oblige, shyly following his sure strides and straightened back.
Smiling against a fluffy stuffed cat when you see that heâs still looking at his phone.
â
â
3tanslices: mini-scenarios!
series: three tangerines
#THIS SCENARIO WAS TOO CUTE#i had to do it!!!#anon#asks:3tan#3tanslices#3tanextras#3fan:yoongi#*ryenfictalk#mailboxđ#bts imagines#bts reactions#yoongi fluff#long post#yoongi fic#three tangerines
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Snow GlobeÂ
The blue confetti water stains the wooden floor of his room.Â
The broken shards of the dome are beside him on the floor. He traces his thumb over the miniature castle of the globe. He has left a trace behind. A trace that shouldnât exist. But he canât bring himself to erase this, âDraco?â
âI would ruin myself for you, you know?â Draco whispers and his voice breaks in the end. He is beyond ruined. But he would ruin himself more. Because he canât erase it.Â
Harry shuts the door behind him and sits down beside Draco, âIs that a snow globe?âÂ
Draco wonders if he should lie.
But Harry would see right through him. He always does, âIt was for you, I left it on the shelf but it broke.âÂ
âDraco,â Harry rests finger beneath his chin and raises his head up and his heart breaks in such a violent way that he begins to wonder if Harry couldâve heard it, âwhatâs wrong?âÂ
Draco is caught in those emerald green eyes. So soft. So worried. So beautiful. It breaks his heart even more so, âWhat are we doing, Harry? Iâm your secret and itâs breaking me."
Harry bows his head, "You're not a secret."
"You're a bad liar, Harry."
He buries his face in his hands, "No, it's that I'm not a good liar when it's you that I have to lie to."
"Oh, fuck you."
âWhy did you bring that snow globe?âÂ
âIt was your Christmas gift, you said youâve never had one before.âÂ
It elicits a smile out of Harry, a delicate and secret smile that is reserved for him, âA castle with blue lights and snow?âÂ
Harry had said that on a drunken night that if there was a gift he had wanted, it was a snow globe with that castle and it was there that Draco decided what his Christmas gift would be, âYou remembered?âÂ
âYeah, I remembered.â
Harry rests his head on Dracoâs shoulder and holds that broken snow globe between the both of them, âWhy did you want to leave this on the shelf, Draco?âÂ
âBecause weâre a secret, arenât we?â Draco speaks, a breath caught in the back of his throat, âI donât exist for you, weâve hidden this like itâs a crime, like itâs an illicit affair.âÂ
âNo, but you do exist for me, Draco.â Harry whispers and even when his voice is broken, he still says Dracoâs name softly, âBut I donât want to ruin this and youâre not that naive to believe that there wouldnât be a backlash to this, are you? Because this? Us? I donât want to lose this.âÂ
âYouâve ruined me beyond reason, what more do you want?âÂ
âDraco.âÂ
He didn't want to fall for more pretty lies.
He wants to believe them but that is all it will be. Lies. Dark, twisted lies.
Draco brushes off the tear that slides down his cheek and stands up, leaving the snow globe with Harry, âNo, this is a lie. Weâre built on a lie. But I still ruin myself for you and I donât want to.âÂ
âDonât leave."Â
"I'm sorry, why shouldn't I leave?"
"I don't want to lose you. Please."
It should've been enough incentive for him to stay, for him to ruin himself a million little times, "No matter how desperately I want to believe you, it will all be lies and I've had enough."
will not blame you if you don't rb or leave a note cause this sucks, def not my best workđđđ @phoebe-delia â @chinike â @thecornerofbelu @nv-md â â@missdrarrydawn @harryandginnydeservesbetter @draco-lucious-potter @textrovert-01 @dearly-devoted-dawdler @sorry-i-ship-drarry @inflation-of-mind @slytherinnbitch @drarryfeels @loves-to-read-fanfic
#drarry#harry potter#draco malfoy#drarry fanfic#draco x harry#december microfics#christmas angst#drarry angst#sorry i was sad
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HAIII i miss going thru ur posts pleek I WAS SO SICK FOR DAAAAAYS but also i went to p1harmony concert n it was #AMAZING đ€ (except for the person in front of me who kept blocking my view w their gawdamn phone !)
anyway! namjoon in 'bro?' oh mygawd im gonna combust i wish he was real hes so adorable i need him beside me rn. U JUSY GET IT. you get his vibes and energy like!! im a firm believer too rhat thats how he replies n shit đ€ i might js be rlly insane and obsessed w him But i rlly do hear him / imagine his expressions with the way u write him ?!? it's just so ON POINT every single time đđ
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY JOONBUG EVERYONE SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HIM OR IM GONNA HUNT EVERYONES BLOODLINE RAHHHHHHH đčđčđčđč
i love u 4ever Like. im so srs when i say that reading ur silly stuff b4 going to sleep puts a smile on my face! ^3^
as always, joon & ur biggest fan đ
STOP IM SOSOSOSOSO JEALOUS PIWON ARE LITERALLY MY FUCKING ULTS IM GONNA KMS UR SO LUCKY WOW. I BET IT WAS SO GREAT SO HAPPY FOR U BFF
hehehehehe ty my love i was lowkey was feeling a bit off? about how i write joon but you just know how to make me blush giggle and inflate my ego itâs like ur in my head. whenever i write joon from now on will have you in my mind >3<
HAPPY FUCKING JOON DAY OH MY GOD WOOP WOOP HAVE TO KISS HIM ON THE MOUTH
i love you to the moon and back kisses for you x10 i appreciate you always <3333
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so we were both KINDA right with guessing who sang the first line of monster in the teaser !!!! i can still show my face here<3 thoughts on each song on seventeenth heaven? honestly LOOOOVE everything except sos .. i like it enough but thereâs something that keeps me from truly loving it đ god of music is a perfect TT tbh it makes me so happy and dance-y, monster is so whimsical i needed a song talking about draculas and kraken. i listen to yawn sparingly because it makes me cry LMAO itâs up there with circles
and let me finish this off with a lil rant because what am i if not tired of kpop fans who do too much! the album is obvs doing well across platforms, but some ppl are being so nitpicky and shitting on both svt and carats for ânot entering spotify global whateverâ or some shit. WHOOOO CAAAAAREEEESSSS OMFG + now theyâre throwing the word âflopâ around because first day sales are some hundred thousand units lower than last cb. Last time they were mad and saying weâre destroying the earth, now weâre apparently not doing enough âđ»đ€ besides, the economy is shit pretty much all across the globe, streaming is down in general, people donât have money, and some people are literally dying. weâre all just trying our best. i hope these losers who are hating have a terrible day and i hope YOU have a great one đ©”
-hag anon
we can both still show our faces here LSHDGLKSH honestly i love the album so much but i will admit....... that diamond days....... she's not the one for me. like i love everything about that song in theory but we are simply not meant to be LMAO. i love how fun god of music is i think it's gonna be the song for my summer because it just!! hypes you up!! sos and back 2 back are on the same level to me, i do need to listen to them more to have more thoughts LMAO and man yawn is just everything to me i missed a good ass ballad from the vocal unit, and the lyrics for this one? gonna throw myself off of a cliff don't mind me. my order would be yawn > headliner = monster > god of music > sos = back 2 back > diamond days
would we be us without a little rant <33 i do love your rants because i agree with everything all the time LMAO i saw hoshi respond to someone on weverse who said "carats make more effort" and dude i was Ready to go fight someone like my guy, people have fucking Lives and an mv not reaching a certain number is not gonna be the end of the day. and if people wanna be annoying about streaming svt are quite literally the only bg this year to reach 1 on melon so like LMFAO and people will aaaaaaalways find something to bitch about when it comes to albums sales like pick a line are they doing poorly or are they just inflated sales. and like you said who cares!!! quite literally who cares about streaming, i care about liking the music not some random ass numbers that at the end of the day do not matter
hope you have a great day as well dear! and for all those weirdos to step on some legos <3
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I do? Since when and why have you been holding out on me? đ€
Yes, of course you are. Youâre getting more brazen by the second. Iâm sure I must look like a complete weirdo â oh this phone (the dreamy tease on the other end), it knows just how to get me all flustered, what am I to do? Hide away? ⊠Yeah, letâs to that, Iâm not down for humiliation (not unless it comes from you). I really think you need to as well, need you to shut my brain off completely. Yeah, so do I. đ Just wanna reach out for you already! đ„ș Oh, does your ego need inflating? (Itâs not weird or whatever) But I like the thought of you gazing down at me while I fight off sleep just to be with you a little while longer. Youâre making me feel special. đ„ș
Oh, wow⊠gave me shivers. Just đ« shivers. Youâre not surprised, did my gravitation towards getting rough ruin it? (You have no idea how much I love it when you talk like that) Fucking swear again!
(Thatâs⊠so sweet, đ so goddam sweet! My god⊠why is this so â đ”âđ« the same kind of thing â hoping⊠the same kind of thing. Just say yes, tell me yes.)
-đž
It's been a while actually⊠maybe I can prove it to you by taking you on a date? đł I let you choose where we go because I want you to introduce me to your tastes đ Take me wherever you want and I'll walk besides you with a mean face pretending I'm totally not whipped LMAO
Nah baby, I'm sure your pretty face looks adorable when you're all shy and flustered⊠(but are you into that huh? That's an interesting thought to get, I won't forget it anytime soon đ€) . But do you too? My god you're so damn cute⊠I really need to hold you for a while đ„ș But yeah, let's just say if you inflate my ego I can get a little⊠cocky. It just happens, what can I do? And you don't just have to feel special⊠you are special, honey. My special girl đ„ș You certainly hold a special place in my heart, pretty girl đł.
Shivers huh? I like it đ€ And I'm not surprised because I think I know the effect I have on you⊠because it's certainly the same effect you have on me. That thing where I have you wrapped around my finger? It's so mutual⊠you have no idea babe, I'm totally head over heels for you. I can't get you out of my head throughout my day, what the fuck. But you enjoy it when I swear? I'm sure I'd like you to swear too, you know⊠it spices things up a bit. Like, I usually swear like a sailor in my daily life (lol), but there are times when it would definitely⊠mess with me. Especially if it was as lovely a little thing as you and when I wasn't expecting it at all đ€ Thoughts, just thoughtsâŠ
(Nah, you're making me a little flustered now sweetie đł But, well⊠I really hope this has something to do with me warming you up from the inside đ”âđ« if you know what I mean đ”âđ« )
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âłÂ the index [ #6 weak ]
Recently heartbroken, it feels like youâll never be able to get over it. But a chance encounter with a guy you havenât seen in months changes everythingâŠÂ Â
pairing; min yoongi x f reader (past kim namjoon x f reader) au/genre/warnings; (semi) fuck buddies au, rebound au, unrequited feelings, lots of conversations, angst but itâs bearable, gets fluffy towards the end other; dana and jin argue đ words; 5,206Â
†previous | next â„
âI canât take this a second longer!âÂ
Trying your best, you ignored Seulgi, staring straight ahead at the television. A few days ago, youâd become obsessed with a reality TV show that married couples at first sight. It was unbelievably insane, not to mention explosive, but hell, at least someoneâs life was more dramatic than yours. Although you knew very well the entire thing could be fake, it still made you feel better.Â
Seulgi moved from the doorway, having just come home from work and stood in front of your shitty distraction. âGo talk to him, please,â she pleaded. âText him! Call him! Anything! Iâm begging you.âÂ
With a sigh you grabbed the remote and turned off the television. You didnât sit up, youâd been lying on the sofa all day and you werenât planning to move until you needed to make dinner. âItâs not as simple as that, Seulgi.âÂ
âSo, what? Youâre just going to mope around all day for the foreseeable future?âÂ
The way she had her arms folded across her chest annoyed you. âIâm not moping. Iâm relaxing. Itâs a Sunday and I donât have work.â Your next sentence came out not so smooth, voice wavering. âBesides, he doesnât want to talk to me ever again. I hurt him.âÂ
âHe hurt himself,â she countered.
âSeulgi.âÂ
She sighed. âOkay, fine. That was mean of me. All Iâm saying is, youâre hurting too.âÂ
âYeah, because I broke his heart!âÂ
These past couple of weeks hadnât been very fun, for obvious reasons. Thereâd been stages, so to say, and Seulgi had seen and heard them all. First, there was the copious amounts of crying. Shock more than anything, which lasted for an entire day. Then youâd locked yourself away to think. Something really terrible had happened then. Blame. The more you thought, the more you had tried to blame this entire thing on Yoongi himself. He had kept something disastrously big from you, deceived you really, all the while his friends had known the whole time. The thought of Jin and Hoseok thinking bad of you made you feel so horrible about yourself, and for a good few hours you had simmered in all those awful thoughts, unleashing them on Seulgi as soon as sheâd come through the door. Sheâd been quick to calm you down, set you straight. While she didnât totally agree with what Yoongi had done, she understood how it had happened, and sheâd kept reminding you of how little you still knew. Namjoon had hardly told you anything and Yoongi, while letting slip a few details, had caused more questions than anything else. How long had he liked you? Loved you? Was he really in love with you?
With those questions had come the next stage: Guilt, and it still overwhelmed you now, even though you were trying your hardest to move on. Knowing you had hurt someone killed you because you kept thinking back to when Namjoon had hurt you. That heartbreak had ruined you in the beginning, so without inflating your ego, you knew exactly how Yoongi was feeling right now. Being the cause of that made a heavy pressure appear inside your chest. It weighed you down, made going to class and work exhausting. Even lying down watching TV was a struggle. In time you knew it would disappear, but right now it was holding on for dear life.Â
âAre you sure thatâs all it is?â Seulgi asked tentatively. You made eye contact and you felt yourself go very stiff. âItâs just, me and Dana have been talking, and wellâŠâÂ
âTalking about me?â you prompted. Dana had called you a couple of days after the âincidentâ to check if you were okay. Sheâd only just found out the truth herself from Seokjin and it was her who reassured you he and Hoseok didnât hate you now. It was silly, but that made you feel better. Youâd thought about asking her if she knew anymore details but stopped yourself. Yoongi should be the one to explain everything but there was fat chance of that happening.Â
âWell, yeah.â Seulgi said awkwardly. It was dumb but knowing that your friends had been discussing you in private stung a little. You waited, knowing what was about to follow. Seulgi hesitated some more before finally thinking fuck it. âIs there any possibility that you may like Yoongi too?âÂ
The final stage: Realisation.Â
Which also went hand in hand with denial.Â
âOf course I like him, just not in the same way.âÂ
Seulgi was silent before moving to sit next to you, lifting your legs to place on her lap. The physical contact made you miss Yoongi even harder. âIâm just getting a strong sense of dĂ©jĂ vu,â she said softly. âOnly this time itâs worse because youâre straight up in denial.âÂ
âIâm not in denial, Seulgi.âÂ
Liar, you told yourself. You are such a liar.
â____, come on,â she said. âWhat was going on between you both, thatâs not you. Casual isnât you and itâs okay to admit that you may have fallen for him along the way.â You stayed silent so she carried on. âI saw the way you guys acted around one another. If anything I should have known Yoongi had feelings for you. It was so fricking obvious looking back.âÂ
You closed your eyes, not wanting to hear that. âDonât,â you whispered. âItâs not enough. I donât like him as much as he likes me.âÂ
Yoongi had said he was in love with you. What you felt in comparison seemed so unimportant and tiny. Even though all youâd been doing these past two weeks was thinking of him and wishing you could see him again â wishing you had never made the mistake of sleeping with Namjoon â you kept telling yourself it wasnât enough.Â
âBut you do like him,â Seulgi pressed carefully, wanting you to admit it.Â
âIâm confused,â you relented. You had so many thoughts. âI mean, how can I like someone so soon after the breakup?âÂ
âOkay. But the breakup was nearly four months ago.âÂ
âI started sleeping with Yoongi after a month.â Youâd had practically no time to come to terms with it, using Yoongi as a distraction. You felt a wave of guilt again and swallowed.Â
âSo you donât think your feelings are real?â she asked. âPotential feelings.âÂ
âIâm just scared.â And then a flood of words left you. It felt good to get them out instead of being stuck with them spinning around your mind as you tried to dissuade yourself. âWhat if itâs just some rebound thing. What if I beg Yoongi to listen to me, tell him I like him and I want to like him more, what ifâ,â you cut off, started up again, âWhat if it turns out to not be real? Then Iâll just hurt him again.âÂ
You looked across to find Seulgi staring at you. Simply, she said: âYou think too much.âÂ
You sighed exhaustedly. âI know.â A silence stretched between you before you spoke again, visualising Yoongiâs face, the sound of his voice. How hurt he had been that night. âHe needed me to tell him I wanted him, that I liked him back, but I couldnât⊠because Iâd never had to think about it before.âÂ
âBut youâve been thinking about it now,â she said. You just nodded. âHeâs not entirely innocent, you know. You finding all that out, he knew it wouldnât be easy. It wouldnât be a normal conversation.âÂ
âI did have sex with Namjoon though.âÂ
âYouâre allowed to make mistakes. You guys were never exclusive.âÂ
But still, you felt like a cheat. It was a strange feeling, because no matter how hard you tried to tell yourself that wasnât the case, you didnât believe it. You had always thought yourself a kind person. Youâd always cared about other peopleâs feelings, often over your own, but maybe that didnât matter. It was just a pretence to make you feel better about yourself. Maybe you were a bad person.Â
âI donât know, I just think maybe itâs not worth it,â you heard yourself say. âThat I should forget about it.âÂ
Yoongi probably wanted to forget about it. To forget about you, seeing as youâd hurt him so much. He didnât care about what you had to say, and even if he did, it wouldnât be good enough. He was better off without you.Â
âIf thatâs what you want,â Seulgi replied, which surprised you. âBut I do think you should talk to him about it one last time. I mean, youâre bound to see him around soon enough. We are friends with his friends.âÂ
You didnât respond. You couldnât bear the thought of seeing him in normal settings. It made you never want to socialise again.Â
Seulgi got up, and you curled your legs into yourself. She tapped your knee and smiled. âIâm gonna shower. Wanna make dinner together afterwards?âÂ
âOkay,â you nodded, feeling a deflated.Â
A few days later you got a call from Namjoon.Â
It was getting late, but you were hunched over your laptop determinedly applying the finishing touches to your last ever essay. Graduation was so close you could taste it, so despite everything lately, at least you had something to look forward to. Although the thought of being an âofficialâ adult was actually quite scary. Seulgi kept suggesting you go on a summer vacation before you started applying for âproperâ jobs, but so far, the idea wasnât too appealing. You knew it would do you good, but you also knew there was a high chance youâd end up being a party pooper. Even laughing these days took effort.Â
The sound of your phone ringing made you jump, so deep in concentration. It was funny â actually, no, it was depressing â because even now, days and nearly weeks later, every time your phone went, a part of you hoped it was Yoongi calling. It never was, of course. It went as follows: your mom, Seulgi, a random call salesperson, Dana, occasionally, and even once your granddad.Â
Tonight was different though. Your ex-boyfriendâs name flashed across the screen.Â
You answered right away, your confused âhiâ catching him off guard.Â
â____,â he said after a noticeable pause.Â
âHey.âÂ
âHey, I, uh,â he chuckled quietly, awkwardly. âI wasnât expecting you to answer to be honest.âÂ
Why you had didnât really make sense to you either. Maybe because you were sick of talking to the same people day in, day out, or maybe you were just curious about what he wanted⊠You coughed to clear your throat. âYeah, well.â What could reply?Â
There was another pause, and you began to regret picking up. There was literally nothing left to say. Things between you had become awkward now. Finally, you heard his lips part. âI, um⊠I just wanted to call and apologise.âÂ
âNamjoon, thereâs really no needâ,âÂ
âThere is.âÂ
âItâs fine, okay?â you insisted, voice raising a little. It wasnât because you were mad, you just didnât want him taking the entire blame. âWe both wanted to at the time.âÂ
He sighed softly. âI know, Iâm just⊠Iâm sorry for everything.â At his words you felt the tension in your shoulders disappear slightly. âFor moving, the breakup, everything.â
âThank you,â was all you said. Maybe he didnât have to apologise at all for that. He hadnât loved you anymore. Staying in the relationship, lying to you and himself, would have been the wrong thing to do. The right thing was what he had done â breaking up with you. Yes, he had left you and moved away almost randomly, but if you were being honest with yourself, the signs had been there for a while before. You were no longer angry at him for that. In fact, thinking about all those months ago it felt like the breakup had happened to somebody else. You were so removed from it all, which was sad, because if you had only realised this sooner, you would have never slept with him. Or maybe you had needed to make that mistake. What did you know? Things happened sometimes and you just had to get on with it. Yet, his apology made you feel a little better.Â
âI wanted to check how you were,â he said carefully now. âHobi told meâhe told me about what happened afterwards.âÂ
While you knew it would happen, the idea of other people talking about you, discussing your life, made you feel very small and stupid. You thought of Seulgi and Dana debating whether or not you had feelings for Yoongi. Had Hoseok and Namjoon done the same? What about Dana and Jin? You bet theyâd had loads of conversations about you.Â
âI expected it.âÂ
âYeah, well, Iâm sorry about that too.âÂ
âYouâre not entirely to blame,â you heard yourself say. It might have been best just to end the call, but you kept talking, finding it oddly therapeutic. âI didnât want⊠I didnât want to believe you when you saidâŠâ You couldnât finish.Â
âI should have told you a long time ago,â Namjoon said regretfully.Â
âYou should,â you agreed, but then, maybe it was never his secret to tell. Thatâs what stopped you from asking him for the full story right now. It wasnât his story to tell, it was Yoongiâs. âBut itâs okay,â you concluded. Â
You heard Namjoon hesitate on the other end of the line. âItâs okay because if I had told you those past couple of months with him wouldnât have happened?âÂ
You stayed silent, confirming it. If you had known about Yoongiâs feelings beforehand you would never have gone there. But selfishly a part of you was thankful you never had.Â
Namjoon asked next: âDo you like him?âÂ
âI donât know,â you replied quietly.Â
âAnd if you did, you wouldnât want to discuss it with me anyway?âÂ
You smiled slightly. Namjoon didnât sound hurt or upset. âSomething like that.â Â
âShit,â he sighed then. It was muffled, as if he was running a hand over his face. âI justâ,â he stopped and then continued. âI had this whole speech planned, even made bullet points.â He laughed at himself and then let out a breath. âBut as soon as I heard your voice, I just knew⊠I knew none of it mattered anymore.âÂ
âYeah, it doesnât,â you agreed, but you werenât being cold. Quite the opposite actually. Your entire relationship, the breakup, the way he had hurt you, it was all in the past now. You knew he was sorry, and you appreciated that. There was nothing left to say or do. Anything more would be pointless.Â
He cleared his throat. âI hopeâI hope everything works out for you.âÂ
âThatâs nice of you, Namjoon.â You smiled again, but you didnât feel very hopeful that it would.Â
âSo, yeah,â he said, a little awkward again. âIâll, uh, see you around maybe, most probably.â
âYeah,â you nodded, and then chuckled. âBecause Hobi will never forgive you if you donât visit again.âÂ
He laughed too. âI keep telling him he can visit me any time he wants.âÂ
âWould that be safe?â It felt good to joke around with him again, even if it was a little stunted. âBye, Namjoon.â You got ready to hang up.Â
You heard him inhale and exhale through his nose. âBye, ____.âÂ
After that you felt a little better. The way things had been left with Namjoon previously had played on your mind, but after the phone call it felt like you both had gotten some type of closure. However clichĂ© that sounded. Seulgi was happy too. After youâd slept together sheâd been adamant that Namjoon had been on his âVirgo male manipulation bullshitâ and a part of you wondered that too. Not the astrology side of things, because you genuinely had no clue about that, but you had been afraid that heâd only said all those things about missing you to fuck things up. Now you understood that he was just confused (like you), in shock (also like you), and maybe just a little bitter. And that was okay. You werenât going to judge him.Â
For the next few days you thought about contacting Yoongi but seemed to always chicken out at the last second. You were torn between thinking too much time had passed or not enough time at all. Besides, what would you say when he picked up? Should you take a leaf out of Namjoonâs book and make bullet points? Nothing would make it easier, because all you could do was apologise again and tell him pathetically that you liked him and that you wanted him. Would he even believe you? Would he even think it was enough? Your feelings were there, yes, but you were afraid they were nothing compared to how he felt about youâŠÂ
Becoming sick of just thinking all the time, you let Seulgi and Dana persuade you to go out for drinks on the weekend. You felt moderately excited getting ready together at your apartment, a welcomed change. By the time you left all three of you were already a little tipsy, giggling over nothing as you got out of the taxi. It had been a while since youâd been to your favourite bar, and you ordered your favourite cocktail, closing your eyes dramatically as you swallowed the first taste. Seulgi and Dana both laughed at you, then copied. You cackled like witches for no reason.Â
Not long after, you heard a familiar voice. To Danaâs left, Jin slipped into the booth, saying something in her ear and making her jump out of her skin. You couldnât hear very well, but it was something about noticing her and thinking she was pretty.Â
âJIN!â she yelled, turning to him with wide eyes. âI could have punched you in the balls!âÂ
You and Seulgi both laughed, Jin looking comically petrified. âPlease donât. I need those.âÂ
âWhat are you doing here?â she asked, confused now.Â
âThe same as you. Hanging out with my friends,â he shrugged, causally placing his arm around the back of the booth. He looked over. âHey ____. Hey Seulgi.âÂ
âHey,â you replied, but now you had a sinking feeling in your stomach. Your shoulders suddenly felt very stiff, and you didnât dare turn your head, scared that if you looked around, youâd spot Yoongi somewhere.Â
âWant to join tables?â Jin was asking, a smile on his face.Â
âUhâŠâ Dana said. âWhoâs with you?â Â
âThe guys.â That didnât sound good. There were only two guys. âHobiâŠâ He paused. âYoongiâŠâÂ
âI donât think thatâs such a good idea,â Dana said, so quietly you almost didnât hear despite sitting next to her.Â
âHow come?â Jin looked puzzled. He caught your eye before leaning into Danaâs ear. âI thought we decidedâŠâ You couldnât hear the rest, but you already felt uneasy, as if he was talking about you. Well, it was obvious he was.Â
Dana pulled her head back, and even though you couldnât see her face, her voice said it all. âSeokjin, this is a girlsâ night.âÂ
You rarely heard her sounding seriously pissed at him. Actually, come to think of it, you never had. Sure, in a playful way, a not so serious way, but this was different. Now you felt awkward.Â
âOh. Well,â Jin said, no smile on his face at all now.Â
âCan we go and talk somewhere private for a sec?â she asked him, and you imagined thatâs what her teacher voice sounded like when one of the kids at the school she worked at did something wrong.Â
âSure.â
When they got up to leave you got a clear view of where Hoseok and Yoongi were sat. The music suddenly seemed really loud, pounding in your ears. Or maybe that was just your heartbeat. Hoseok seemed to be preoccupied with not one, but two girls, and Yoongi sat near them, swigging on his bottle looking bored and lonely. His hair was slightly longer, something you wouldnât have noticed it if hadnât been so long since youâd last seen him. He hadnât seen you.Â
âWhat the hell was that?â Seulgi asked.Â
You shrugged. âI donât know but I can see Yoongi from here.âÂ
âWhere?â she demanded, moving in closer.Â
âDonât make it obvious,â you hissed. âHeâs right there.âÂ
âMaybe we should join their table?â she suggested after a small pause.Â
âWhat? Are you crazy?â you exclaimed, finishing the dregs of your cocktail. âThe last time I saw him he said he was done. I donât think me joining his table will go down very well.â Â
âWell, he hasnât run away yet, canât hate you that much.âÂ
âHe doesnât know Iâm here,â you replied lamely. The idea of Yoongi hating you wasnât fun, even if it wasnât âthat much.âÂ
âOf course he does,â she laughed. âWhere else does he think Jin disappeared to?âÂ
You glanced over again, meeting Yoongiâs eyes briefly. Heâd been looking at you. Panicking, you looked away, suddenly feeling very hot. Your chest felt tight and your stomach funny. âI canât do this,â you breathed.Â
Seulgi leaned in, sounding concerned when she asked: âWanna leave?â
Before you could reply, Dana appeared again, slamming herself into the booth. âUn-fucking-believable,â she fumed. âI swear to God men are so fucking dumb.â She looked at you, sounding embarrassed then. âIâm so sorry, ____. I canât believe he just turned up here with Yoongi.âÂ
Behind her head you could see Jin walking back to his table. âHe looks sad,â Seulgi remarked.Â
âDonât feel sorry for him.âÂ
Again, hearing Dana so mad at him threw you a little. You exchanged a quick look with Seulgi. âSo should we get out of here?â she asked. âGo someplace else?â Dana shrugged, looking glum. âCome on, letâs not let stinky men ruin our girlsâ night.âÂ
At that, Dana laughed at herself. âUgh, girlsâ night sounded so lame, right?âÂ
âA little,â you admitted, managing to smile. âLetâs go?âÂ
Dana nodded, grabbed her purse, and as you followed her outside, Seulgi nudged your elbow. Both falling back, she whispered: âWhy do I feel so awkward? Like my own parents just argued?âÂ
.
.
Despite the hiccup, the night ended up mildly fun. The atmosphere was a little off compared to the start of the night, Dana was obviously preoccupied, and you were still shaken from seeing Yoongi, but you managed to push him to the back of your mind. Even so, you didnât feel like getting totally wasted like you initially had. You were home just before one, the taxi dropping a by now regretful Dana home first. Hungry, you and Seulgi had raided the cupboards, and then when the ramen had made you sleepy, youâd gone to bed.Â
Alone, however, your brain came alive again. You tossed and turned, suddenly wide awake and attempting to analyse the way Yoongi had looked at you. Had he looked mad? Indifferent? If only you hadnât looked away so quickly. What wouldâve happened if youâd actually gone and joined his table? With time to think, you assumed heâd been okay with it else Jin would never have come over and asked⊠So late at night, the urge to contact him was stronger than ever. You missed him so much. It was a horrible feeling, a dead, heavy one inside your chest, and there was nothing you could do about it. Seeing him, however briefly, had just made it worse.
Your phone started buzzing. Youâd turned it on silent just before climbing into bed, and it vibrated on top of your nightstand, sounding louder than what it was in the darkness. You reached for it, not wanting to wake Seulgi, and your heart jumped in your chest when you saw who it was. Without any thought, you swiped to answer, hushed but eager.Â
âYoongi?â
There was a beat of silence, then you heard his breath. âHey.âÂ
With just one simple, soft word you felt all the tension youâd been holding inside your body dispel. Youâd missed his voice, and you closed your eyes, letting it soak through you. âI thought you might still be out.âÂ
You heard something of a laugh leave you, quiet, but it was still there. It was easy with him, even now. âWhat, at two in the morning? No way.âÂ
He chuckled along. You opened your eyes, the room suddenly felt lighter. âThen, sorry for calling so late.âÂ
âItâs fine, I couldnât sleep anyway,â you told him, feeling almost coy.Â
âMe neither.âÂ
Silence followed, and you felt a small twinge of panic. Did he regret calling you? Did he realise he had nothing to say? Please donât hang up, you thought desperately, holding as still as you could underneath your sheets.Â
âI bet I have you beat,â he finally said, sounding somewhat amused. You relaxed. âWe were home by 11. Jin was in a fucking terrible mood.âÂ
âSo was Dana,â you smiled, adding: âSorry Iâm whispering. Seulgiâs asleep.âÂ
âItâs okay. I like it.âÂ
You were suddenly very aware of your breathing, chest falling up and down steadily.Â
âHe was trying to play cupid, you know?â Yoongi said, snickering slightly. âYeah, apparently he and Dana have been discussing ways to get us to talk to each other. My best friend Einstein thought tonight would be the perfect opportunity. Dana had no clue and of course his idea was stupid.âÂ
You let what he was telling you settle, snorting softly. âI thought that might be case, I just didnât want to ask her.â Jin wasnât exactly discreet, and thinking back, if you ignored the fact it had made them argue, it was actually quite funny. âI hope they make up,â you added.Â
âProbably already have. They can never stay mad at each other for long,â Yoongi reassured.Â
Unrelated, you smiled to yourself, pressing one side of your face further into the pillow. It felt nice to talk to him like this again. It felt normal, like these past few weeks had never happened. You wanted to hold on to that for as long as possible. You took him reaching out as a good sign, despite not knowing where things were between the two of you.Â
âSo, you didnât have fun tonight,â you joked.Â
âNo,â he replied simply. âI was forced out, promised a good time, but instead I was surrounded by misery and debauchery.âÂ
You snorted â loudly, unable to help it. âI guess the latter is referring to Hobi.âÂ
âOf course. He made making out with two girls at the same time look easy.â You laughed together, and then he added: âShould have left with you insteadâŠâ
You had to ignore that, you just had to, because otherwise youâd end up doing something stupid like begging him to forgive you and come over. âPity,â you said instead, âdid you force him to leave with you?âÂ
âNo, he stayed,â Yoongi chuckled. âHeâs probably having the time of his life right now.âÂ
âHe didnât think to share with you?â you teased.Â
âMe?â he asked, surprised, and for a second you worried youâd gone too far, but then he replied. âNo, he knows Iâm not interested in anyone else.âÂ
There was silence, and then you both said one anotherâs name at the same time.Â
âYoongiââÂ
â____ââÂ
He rushed forward as you held back. âIâve missed you.â He took a breath. âSaying that out loud just makes me miss you more.â Your heart felt like it was expanding, and it drummed against your ribcage. He laughed at himself. âDo I sound pathetic?âÂ
âNo,â you insisted, eager for him to know. âNo, Yoongi. I miss you too. IâŠâ You wanted to tell him everything that had been on your mind, but over the phone like this felt stupid.Â
âI called you because I wanted to hear your voice. I saw you tonight and just wanted toâ,â He cut off with a sigh. âI wanted to pretend everything was normal again.âÂ
Without realising, youâd started to cry. One single hot tear slipped past your eye and got absorbed into the pillow. A quiet sob croaked its way past your throat.Â
â____?â he asked, voice laced with concern. âAre you crying?â
âSorry,â you sniffed, wiping your face.Â
âNo, donât be sorry. Iâm the sorry one. I wasnât trying to make you cry.âÂ
You took a moment to compose yourself, annoyed that youâd broken down. He waited patiently, and when you laughed weakly down the line, he added another, although seemingly unrelated, sorry. âWhat for?â you asked. He had nothing to be sorry for.Â
He let out a low whistle. âA lot.â Then he sighed. âItâs hard.âÂ
âDo you want to talk?âÂ
âNo. I mean, I do. Just not right now.â You heard his mattress move. âIs that okay?â he asked thoughtfully.Â
âOf course.âÂ
âI just want to feel close to you again,â he admitted. âHear your voice.âÂ
âI want that too,â you smiled, pretending the warmth of your bed was him. You didnât even need to talk, hearing his breathing was enough. As if he was lying next to you.Â
A couple of minutes later he said: âI really have missed you, like, a lot.â He chuckled. âSorry, Itâs late, Iâm all over the place.âÂ
âNo, itâs okay,â you told him, reassuring him and obviously yourself. âWeâll talk soon. Weâll be okay.âÂ
âWe will.âÂ
His confirmation meant the world. For the first time in a while, you felt hopeful. You opened your mouth, ready to confess. Ready to tell him that you liked him, that you wanted him, but stopped yourself. Something told you he already knew somehow; else why would he be on the phone to you?Â
Instead, you fell into silence. It wasnât a bad silence â it was comforting. Your eyes started to grow heavy, sleep washing over you, until you heard a noise, Yoongi cursing. You jolted awake. He laughed. âShit. I just hit my head.â The bed moved again, and you imagined that you were there with him.Â
âWere you falling asleep?â you asked.Â
âYeah, I think I was.âÂ
âShould we hang up?â You felt bad for keeping him, but you also didnât want the call to be over.Â
âLetâs talk tomorrow.âÂ
His sudden firmness caught you off guard, but you grinned. âYou sure?âÂ
âYeah. We need to talk. I canât take this any longer.âÂ
You were suddenly wide awake again. âOkay. Iâm free tomorrow. Want to come over?âÂ
âIâve never been to your place before.â You could hear the smile on his face. Picture it too.Â
âI know,â you laughed. âThatâs why I want you to come.âÂ
âI canât wait.â Â
âWeâll really be okay?â you asked a little worriedly.Â
âReally,â he breathed. âI promise.âÂ
âI could cry again,â you admitted, then added: âbut happy tears.â
âI donât know if Iâm worth any type of tears,â he murmured self-effacingly.Â
âDonât say that.â
âThank you.â You could almost feel his breath, you wanted him so close. Tomorrow, you reminded yourself. âI should go now. You need to sleep.â
âSo do you,â you added.Â
âSo, Iâll see you tomorrow?â Again, you knew he was smiling.Â
âYeah,â you smiled back. âYou will.â
After the phone call ended, a text came through. It made you grin so hard your face ached.Â
Yoongi (2.46am) goodnight đ
Written 2018 - 2021. Reworked/re-edited 2021. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021
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