#(because I'm still a beginner and I have no expectations of myself)

[raven-master]

Only 5% of college students with ADHD graduate. A statistic that's disheartening on my good days and terrifying on my bad ones. Still, I know that I (and many others!) have so, so much to offer in my field of work once I get past all the hurdles of getting a higher education.

Hang in there, fellow ADHD students, I see you and I love you.

[tofupixel]

⭐ So you want to learn pixel art? ⭐

🔹 Part 1 of ??? - The Basics!

Edit: Now available in Google Doc format if you don't have a Tumblr account 🥰

Hello, my name is Tofu and I'm a professional pixel artist. I have been supporting myself with freelance pixel art since 2020, when I was let go from my job during the pandemic.

My progress, from 2017 to 2024. IMO the only thing that really matters is time and effort, not some kind of natural talent for art.

This guide will not be comprehensive, as nobody should be expected to read allat. Instead I will lean heavily on my own experience, and share what worked for me, so take everything with a grain of salt. This is a guide, not a tutorial. Cheers!

🔹 Do I need money?

NO!!! Pixel art is one of the most accessible mediums out there.

I still use a mouse because I prefer it to a tablet! You won't be at any disadvantage here if you can't afford the best hardware or software.

Because our canvases are typically very small, you don't need a good PC to run a good brush engine or anything like that.

✨Did you know? One of the most skilled and beloved pixel artists uses MS PAINT! Wow!!

🔹 What software should I use?

Here are some of the most popular programs I see my friends and peers using. Stars show how much I recommend the software for beginners! ⭐

💰 Paid options:

⭐⭐⭐ Aseprite (for PC) - $19.99

This is what I and many other pixel artists use. You may find when applying to jobs that they require some knowledge of Aseprite. Since it has become so popular, companies like that you can swap raw files between artists.

Aseprite is amazingly customizable, with custom skins, scripts and extensions on Itch.io, both free and paid.

If you have ever used any art software before, it has most of the same features and should feel fairly familiar to use. It features a robust animation suite and a tilemap feature, which have saved me thousands of hours of labour in my work. The software is also being updated all the time, and the developers listen to the users. I really recommend Aseprite!

⭐ Photoshop (for PC) - Monthly $$

A decent option for those who already are used to the PS interface. Requires some setup to get it ready for pixel-perfect art, but there are plenty of tutorials for doing so.

Animation is also much more tedious on PS which you may want to consider before investing time!

⭐⭐ ProMotion NG (for PC) - $19.00

An advanced and powerful software which has many features Aseprite does not, including Colour Cycling and animated tiles.

⭐⭐⭐ Pixquare (for iOS) - $7.99 - $19.99 (30% off with code 'tofu'!!)

Probably the best app available for iPad users, in active development, with new features added all the time.

Look! My buddy Jon recommends it highly, and uses it often.

One cool thing about Pixquare is that it takes Aseprite raw files! Many of my friends use it to work on the same project, both in their office and on the go.

⭐ Procreate (for iOS) - $12.99

If you have access to Procreate already, it's a decent option to get used to doing pixel art. It does however require some setup. Artist Pixebo is famously using Procreate, and they have tutorials of their own if you want to learn.

⭐⭐ ReSprite iOS and Android. (free trial, but:) $19.99 premium or $$ monthly

ReSprite is VERY similar in terms of UI to Aseprite, so I can recommend it. They just launched their Android release!

🆓 Free options:

⭐⭐⭐ Libresprite (for PC)

Libresprite is an alternative to Aseprite. It is very, very similar, to the point where documentation for Aseprite will be helpful to Libresprite users.

⭐⭐ Pixilart (for PC and mobile)

A free in-browser app, and also a mobile app! It is tied to the website Pixilart, where artists upload and share their work. A good option for those also looking to get involved in a community.

⭐⭐ Dotpict (for mobile)

Dotpict is similar to Pixilart, with a mobile app tied to a website, but it's a Japanese service. Did you know that in Japanese, pixel art is called 'Dot Art'? Dotpict can be a great way to connect with a different community of pixel artists! They also have prompts and challenges often.

🔹 So I got my software, now what?

◽Nice! Now it's time for the basics of pixel art.

❗ WAIT ❗ Before this section, I want to add a little disclaimer. All of these rules/guidelines can be broken at will, and some 'no-nos' can look amazing when done intentionally.

The pixel-art fundamentals can be exceedingly helpful to new artists, who may feel lost or overwhelmed by choice. But if you feel they restrict you too harshly, don't force yourself! At the end of the day it's your art, and you shouldn't try to contort yourself into what people think a pixel artist 'should be'. What matters is your own artistic expression. 💕👍

◽Phew! With that out of the way...

🔸"The Rules"

There are few hard 'rules' of pixel art, mostly about scaling and exporting. Some of these things will frequently trip up newbies if they aren't aware, and are easy to overlook.

🔹Scaling method

There are a couple ways of scaling your art. The default in most art programs, and the entire internet, is Bi-linear scaling, which usually works out fine for most purposes. But as pixel artists, we need a different method.

Both are scaled up x10. See the difference?

On the left is scaled using Bilinear, and on the right is using Nearest-Neighbor. We love seeing those pixels stay crisp and clean, so we use nearest-neighbor. 

(Most pixel-art programs have nearest-neighbor enabled by default! So this may not apply to you, but it's important to know.)

🔹Mixels

Mixels are when there are different (mixed) pixel sizes in the same image.

Here I have scaled up my art- the left is 200%, and the right is 150%. Yuck!

As we can see, the "pixel" sizes end up different. We generally try to scale our work by multiples of 100 - 200%, 300% etc. rather than 150%. At larger scales however, the minute differences in pixel sizes are hardly noticeable!

Mixels are also sometimes seen when an artist scales up their work, then continues drawing on it with a 1 pixel brush.

Many would say that this is not great looking! This type of pixels can be indicative of a beginner artist. But there are plenty of creative pixel artists out there who mixels intentionally, making something modern and cool.

🔹Saving Your Files

We usually save our still images as .PNGs as they don’t create any JPEG artifacts or loss of quality. It's a little hard to see here, but there are some artifacts, and it looks a little blurry. It also makes the art very hard to work with if we are importing a JPEG.

For animations .GIF is good, but be careful of the 256 colour limit. Try to avoid using too many blending mode layers or gradients when working with animations. If you aren’t careful, your animation could flash afterwards, as the .GIF tries to reduce colours wherever it can. It doesn’t look great!

Here's an old piece from 2021 where I experienced .GIF lossiness, because I used gradients and transparency, resulting in way too many colours.

🔹Pixel Art Fundamentals - Techniques and Jargon

❗❗Confused about Jaggies? Anti-Aliasing? Banding? Dithering? THIS THREAD is for you❗❗ << it's a link, click it!!

As far as I'm concerned, this is THE tutorial of all time for understanding pixel art. These are techniques created and named by the community of people who actually put the list together, some of the best pixel artists alive currently. Please read it!!

🔸How To Learn

Okay, so you have your software, and you're all ready to start. But maybe you need some more guidance? Try these tutorials and resources! It can be helpful to work along with a tutorial until you build your confidence up.

⭐⭐ Pixel Logic (A Digital Book) - $10 A very comprehensive visual guide book by a very skilled and established artist in the industry. I own a copy myself.

⭐⭐⭐ StudioMiniBoss - free A collection of visual tutorials, by the artist that worked on Celeste! When starting out, if I got stuck, I would go and scour his tutorials and see how he did it.

⭐ Lospec Tutorials - free A very large collection of various tutorials from all over the internet. There is a lot to sift through here if you have the time.

⭐⭐⭐ Cyangmou's Tutorials - free (tipping optional) Cyangmou is one of the most respected and accomplished modern pixel artists, and he has amassed a HUGE collection of free and incredibly well-educated visual tutorials. He also hosts an educational stream every week on Twitch called 'pixelart for beginners'.

⭐⭐⭐ Youtube Tutorials - free There are hundreds, if not thousands of tutorials on YouTube, but it can be tricky to find the good ones. My personal recommendations are MortMort, Brandon, and AdamCYounis- these guys really know what they're talking about!

🔸 How to choose a canvas size

When looking at pixel art turorials, we may see people suggest things like 16x16, 32x32 and 64x64. These are standard sizes for pixel art games with tiles. However, if you're just making a drawing, you don't necessarily need to use a standard canvas size like that.

What I like to think about when choosing a canvas size for my illustrations is 'what features do I think it is important to represent?' And make my canvas as small as possible, while still leaving room for my most important elements.

Imagine I have characters in a scene like this:

I made my canvas as small as possible (232 x 314), but just big enough to represent the features and have them be recognizable (it's Good Omens fanart 😤)!! If I had made it any bigger, I would be working on it for ever, due to how much more foliage I would have to render.

If you want to do an illustration and you're not sure, just start at somewhere around 100x100 - 200x200 and go from there.

It's perfectly okay to crop your canvas, or scale it up, or crunch your art down at any point if you think you need a different size. I do it all the time! It only takes a bit of cleanup to get you back to where you were.

🔸Where To Post

Outside of just regular socials, Twitter, Tumblr, Deviantart, Instagram etc, there are a few places that lean more towards pixel art that you might not have heard of.

⭐ Lospec Lospec is a low-res focused art website. Some pieces get given a 'monthly masterpiece' award. Not incredibly active, but I believe there are more features being added often.

⭐⭐ Pixilart Pixilart is a very popular pixel art community, with an app tied to it. The community tends to lean on the young side, so this is a low-pressure place to post with an relaxed vibe.

⭐⭐ Pixeljoint Pixeljoint is one of the big, old-school pixel art websites. You can only upload your art unscaled (1x) because there is a built-in zoom viewer. It has a bit of a reputation for being elitist (back in the 00s it was), but in my experience it's not like that any more. This is a fine place for a pixel artist to post if they are really interested in learning, and the history. The Hall of Fame has some of the most famous / impressive pixel art pieces that paved the way for the work we are doing today.

⭐⭐⭐ Cafe Dot Cafe Dot is my art server so I'm a little biased here. 🍵 It was created during the recent social media turbulence. We wanted a place to post art with no algorithms, and no NFT or AI chuds. We have a heavy no-self-promotion rule, and are more interested in community than skill or exclusivity. The other thing is that we have some kind of verification system- you must apply to be a Creator before you can post in the Art feed, or use voice. This helps combat the people who just want to self-promo and dip, or cause trouble, as well as weed out AI/NFT people. Until then, you are still welcome to post in any of the threads or channels. There is a lot to do in Cafe Dot. I host events weekly, so check the threads!

⭐⭐/r/pixelart The pixel art subreddit is pretty active! I've also heard some of my friends found work through posting here, so it's worth a try if you're looking. However, it is still Reddit- so if you're sensitive to rude people, or criticism you didn't ask for, you may want to avoid this one. Lol

🔸 Where To Find Work

You need money? I got you! As someone who mostly gets scouted on social media, I can share a few tips with you:

Put your email / portfolio in your bio Recruiters don't have all that much time to find artists, make it as easy as possible for someone to find your important information!

Clean up your profile If your profile feed is all full of memes, most people will just tab out rather than sift through. Doesn't apply as much to Tumblr if you have an art tag people can look at.

Post regularly, and repost Activity beats everything in the social media game. It's like rolling the dice, and the more you post the more chances you have. You have to have no shame, it's all business baby

Outside of just posting regularly and hoping people reach out to you, it can be hard to know where to look. Here are a few places you can sign up to and post around on.

/r/INAT INAT (I Need A Team) is a subreddit for finding a team to work with. You can post your portfolio here, or browse for people who need artists.

/r/GameDevClassifieds Same as above, but specifically for game-related projects.

Remote Game Jobs / Work With Indies Like Indeed but for game jobs. Browse them often, or get email notifications.

VGen VGen is a website specifically for commissions. You need a code from another verified artist before you can upgrade your account and sell, so ask around on social media or ask your friends. Once your account is upgraded, you can make a 'menu' of services people can purchase, and they send you an offer which you are able to accept, decline, or counter.

The evil websites of doom: Fiverr and Upwork I don't recommend them!! They take a big cut of your profit, and the sites are teeming with NFT and AI people hoping to make a quick buck. The site is also extremely oversaturated and competitive, resulting in a race to the bottom (the cheapest, the fastest, doing the most for the least). Imagine the kind of clients who go to these websites, looking for the cheapest option. But if you're really desperate...

🔸 Community

I do really recommend getting involved in a community. Finding like-minded friends can help you stay motivated to keep drawing. One day, those friends you met when you were just starting out may become your peers in the industry. Making friends is a game changer!

Discord servers Nowadays, the forums of old are mostly abandoned, and people split off into many different servers. Cafe Dot, Pixel Art Discord (PAD), and if you can stomach scrolling past all the AI slop, you can browse Discord servers here.

Twitch Streams Twitch has kind of a bad reputation for being home to some of the more edgy gamers online, but the pixel art community is extremely welcoming and inclusive. Some of the people I met on Twitch are my friends to this day, and we've even worked together on different projects! Browse pixel art streams here, or follow some I recommend: NickWoz, JDZombi, CupOhJoe, GrayLure, LumpyTouch, FrankiePixelShow, MortMort, Sodor, NateyCakes, NyuraKim, ShinySeabass, I could go on for ever really... There are a lot of good eggs on Pixel Art Twitch.

🔸 Other Helpful Websites

Palettes Lospec has a huge collection of user-made palettes, for any artist who has trouble choosing their colours, or just wants to try something fun. Rejected Palettes is full of palettes that didn't quite make it onto Lospec, ran by people who believe there are no bad colours.

The Spriters Resource TSR is an incredible website where users can upload spritesheets and tilesets from games. You can browse for your favourite childhood game, and see how they made it! This website has helped me so much in understanding how game assets come together in a scene.

VGMaps Similar to the above, except there are entire maps laid out how they would be played. This is incredible if you have to do level design, or for mocking up a scene for fun.

Game UI Database Not pixel-art specific, but UI is a very challenging part of graphics, so this site can be a game-changer for finding good references!

Retronator A digital newspaper for pixel-art lovers! New game releases, tutorials, and artworks!

Itch.io A website where people can upload, games, assets, tools... An amazing hub for game devs and game fans alike. A few of my favourite tools: Tiled, PICO-8, Pixel Composer, Juice FX, Magic Pencil for Aseprite

🔸 The End?

This is just part 1 for now, so please drop me a follow to see any more guides I release in the future. I plan on doing some writeups on how I choose colours, how to practise, and more!

I'm not an expert by any means, but everything I did to get to where I am is outlined in this guide. Pixel art is my passion, my job and my hobby! I want pixel art to be recognized everywhere as an art-form, a medium of its own outside of game-art or computer graphics!

This guide took me a long time, and took a lot of research and experience. Consider following me or supporting me if you are feeling generous.

And good luck to all the fledgling pixel artists, I hope you'll continue and have fun. I hope my guide helped you, and don't hesitate to send me an ask if you have any questions! 💕

My other tutorials (so far): How to draw Simple Grass for a game Hue Shifting

[dynazrll3]

The Look Of Love (ViktorXFem!Reader)

Chapter 2

this is my friend's idea (@cecilliaz272)

There might be some grammar + spelling mistakes

Leave a like after reading this, please:)

Chapter 1:

Viktor was in the lab, hunched over his desk before he heard footsteps. He assumed it was Jayce, but when he turned and started to discuss about the recent improvements of hextech, he saw you instead.

His words stopped for a moment before he spoke. "Oh, Y/N you're just in time...I want you to look at this hextech that Jayce and I made."

"Ooh, impressive... How's the progress?" You said, looking quite impressed with what Viktor and Jayce have created.

Viktor grabbed the notes, glancing through them for a second before speaking. "It is slow as expected..Jayce has some issues working with me, which is holding it back a little..."

He continued "He is always off to do something else and leaves me with it, which I assume he doesn't think I'm capable of handling it. I can handle twice the work he does. But unfortunately.. I have to wait around."

"Ah, that sounds promising, about our project... I'm almost finished and I'll leave the last touches to you." You said with a sigh of relief.

Viktor smiles to himself, impressed by your hard work. "Already? I expected it to take longer than that. Quite impressive... I'll start working on that as soon as you're finished."

You smiled softly, your eyes warm and reassuring as they met Viktor's. "No need to rush, Viktor." You said, your words gentle yet firm. "We still have plenty of time."

Viktor glances at you, observing you for a moment. "Hm.. you're right. I tend to lose myself in my work quite often." A faint, almost wry smile tugs at the corner of his lips. "Jayce thinks I spend too much time working on inventions and not enough time on...other things."

"Well, he's not wrong."

Viktor let out a sigh and rubs his forehead. "Perhaps, but I'll still get the work done in the end of the day. So I don't see any issue with that."

Viktor picks up a few of his notes and begins to look through them again. You looked through his books then said "Mm.. that's a lot of books you got here."

"Yes...I'm a frequent reader. I tend to spend hours engrossed in the words sometimes." He said as he glances at his books. He picks up a black leather book, with golden symbols on the cover, flipping through the pages before pausing, staring at a page for a moment.

"Same here. Though...the books I read are more interesting." You said.

Viktor chuckles before looking up to you. "Oh really? And just what types of books do you usually read?"

You hesitated to give an answer. "Oh well... It's really unnecessary for me to tell you." Viktor raised an eyebrow, feeling intrigued. "Well, it might seem childish but...I do love a good old romance books.."

Viktor smirked slightly, amused by your answer. "Really? I didn't expect you to read such thing..And here I thought you were a mature intellectual reader with good taste."

You gasped a little. "I am!" You huffed. Viktor chuckles again by your reaction. " Calm down. I was only teasing.. There's nothing wrong with reading those types of books. Plus, you're already mature for your age."

You blushed. You couldn't believe it...Viktor? Teasing you? Gosh, is this a dream? "...I see."

Viktor notices your blush, which made him curious, amused by your reaction. He walks over to the other side of the table, a smirk still on his face, before he said; "That's a cute blush." His voice was smooth and soothing...

You shoved his face with a book. It took him by surprise so he stumbles, almost falling because of his poor leg. You noticed and immediately tried to catch him. There was a loud thud.

As you open your eyes..you saw that you have fallen on top of him. Both of you were close. A little too close. You could hear his heartbeat, and so can he. You both got lost in each others eyes before you asked "...Are you alright?"

Viktor was stunned. His heart was pounding in his ears from the sudden fall and his chest was rising with rapid breaths, feeling your body pressed against his. When you asked if he was alright he just stared up at you for a few seconds before talking, his voices suddenly much lower and softer than before. "I... I'm fine... a-are you?"

"Yes..." You immediately got off of him, embarrassed. "I apologise for my.. behaviour." Viktor watches you get off of him, missing the feeling of you body against his, before sitting up. He runs his hand through his messy brown hair.

His heart was still racing and he tried to calm himself down, but with the way you looked at him, it made it even faster.

"It's alright. No need to apologise. It was an accident.."

You gave him a hand, wanting to help him up. He grabs your hand as you help him up, a small blush appeared on his face. Luckily for him, it was barely noticeable. Once he got up, he didn't let go of your hands. He held onto them loosely, not wanting to let go.

He looked down at you. The height differences between you both made you look small in comparison, not that it was a bad thing though.

His hands felt...warm. "...Viktor, uhm...are you perhaps-" Jayce suddenly came in, and your words stopped.

Viktor quickly lets go of your hands, the moment disturbed by the sound of the door opening. His heart dropped as Jayce walked through, he was relieved and yet annoyed to see Jayce walking in at that exact moment.

"Ah... Jayce. Perfect timing as always." Viktor said, clearly saying it in a sarcastic way.

You looked away, with a slight blush on your cheeks. Meanwhile, Jayce was confused. Why did the atmosphere in the room changed all of a sudden? Did he do something wrong?

"Uhm..since Jayce is here, I should get going. Goodbye, Viktor." You said before you waved off and left

Viktor watches you leave, silently wishing you could have stayed a bit more. He let out a sigh as the door closed shut. He turned to Jayce with his arms crossed. "You have...bad timing."

Jayce looked at him with an even more confused expression. "WHAT DID I EVEN DO???"

***

It's been three days, and Viktor was standing right infront of your house. He couldn't believe he's here. Well, how did he get himself in this situation? This was because the lab was occupied by Heimerdinger and Jayce. So, Viktor had to do the finishing touches at your place.

He took a deep breath before knocking on your front door. You were in your room when you heard the knocking. You put down the book you were reading and got up from your bed. You were wearing a white tank-top with black leggings. Your hair was tied up in a messy bun. You headed towards the door to see who it was.

When you saw it was Viktor, you gasped and ran back to your room to find any decent clothes to wear. You even brushed your hair quickly to make it look more neat. It's been five minutes and Viktor was getting a little impatient, so he was about to knock again when you suddenly swing the door open. "Oh V-Viktor! What brings you here-?" You asks, your heart still beating like crazy from the rush.

Viktor looked up from his cane as the door opened. His heart skipped a beat when he saw you in the doorway, looking as beautiful as always. He tried to maintain his composure, leaning against his cane as he smiled at you.

"Ahh..you see, I had a small issue with Jayce and Professor Heimerdinger at the lab, so I was wondering if it would be alright to work here for the meantime?"

"Yes of course, no problem at all but uhm..." You hesitated. "It is quite messy." Viktor chuckled, a small grin appeared on his face. He tilted his head as you spoke, looking at you with curiousity. "It's alright. I won't be bothered by a small mess. I've stayed in much worse places before." He said, reassuring you.

And so, he came inside and saw that your house was simple, yet very beautiful. He was also surprised that you lived at a very decent yet rich house since you were from nobility.

He glances around the place, examining your home. A sense of wonder and curiousity in his eyes. He walks a bit further in before turning to look at you again. "You have a...lovely home. It's quite different from what I expected though."

"What does that mean?" You asked with curiousity. "Well, it's just.." Viktor paused for a second, thinking of the right words to use. "Judging by them..family you come from, I expected you to live in a more... extravagant place as you might say."

"Ah, well..I did live in my family's mansion. But after I became an adult, I decided to live my own life and settle in a simple place as it's just me.." Viktor nods as he listens, a look of understanding on his face, it makes sense that you would do such a thing. He glances at you again, a small smile forming on your face. " I can understand that. Everyone wants to be... independent after they reach a certain age. I know better than anyone about that."

There was an awkward silence so you asked, "Uhm..would you like some tea?"

"Yes, I would love some tea." Viktor lets out a small sigh of relief, his leg starting to hurt from standing for so long. So, he took a seat on the sofa behind him. You went to your kitchen and brewed some tea to serve.

***

Viktor took the cup of tea from you and nods in thanks before sipping some of it. The warmth of the tea made him feel a bit better. He sets the cup down on the coaster on the table infront of him, before leaning back on the sofa a little bit, looking at you.

You then went to take the machine that you both were working on and sets it on the table. "Here it is. Did I do well?" Viktor looks at the machine on the table, a proud look appeared in his eyes.

"Mm..you did brilliantly as usual. And all that was left is the modifications I have planned for." He began to examine every part of the machine carefully. Soon, Viktor started to work on the final touches. He worked diligently, his hands working precisely and quickly. His eyebrows furrow in concentration as he fiddles with the parts, his mind focused solely on the work at hand.

You watched him as he worked. God..you just can't help yourself but to think of how handsome he looks...looking all serious and passionate. Your cheeks flushed red, warmth spreading across your face as you watched him.

Viktor's slender fingers gently touched the cold surface of the machine, his eyes darting across every detail, working thoroughly. His expression focused and determined, completely immersed in the work before him. The silence of the room was strangely calming. The only sound being the soft hum of the machine and the occasional rustle of the pages on Viktors notes. As he continued to work, he felt a pair of eyes that kept staring at him.

You made eye contact. Oh shit, he caught you. "...sorry...did I look weird?" Viktor looked up at you, noticing your nervous expression. He then chuckled faintly, a small smile on his face "No need to apologize... and no, you don't look weird. I was just a bit distracted, that's all" You gave a little nod as he continued working.

After finishing the final touches, he finally took a breath to relax. He sat back on the sofa, closing his eyes for a moment as he felt the tension in his shoulders relaxing a bit. He let out a small sigh before opening his eyes and looking at you again. "There...finished at last."

He sets his notes down on the table and ran his fingers through his hair, which was now messed up from all the work he had been doing. He shifted his seat on the sofa, his leg was starting to hurt again, so he winced slightly. "Are you alright?" You asked.

Viktor looked up at you, trying to hide the slight pain he was in. He didn't want you to be worried. "Yes, I'm fine..my leg is just being annoying as always. I've spent too much time working on the machine and not enough time resting, that's all."

"...Do you even rest at all?" You asked, concerned.

He laughed a little, slightly taken off guard by your question, and he knew he couldn't lie to you. "You want the honest answer, or a lie to make you feel better?"

You huffed. "That just explains it. Rest is important too, Viktor." He chuckled at your reaction, amused by your concern. "I know it's important...I just get too immersed in my work. I often lose track of time, not to mention the lab isn't the most... comfortable place to relax in."

"...Why don't you stay here for awhile? It's not evening yet." Viktor was surprised by your offer. You too was surprised when you suddenly blurted it out. Viktor didn't expect you to suggest he should stay the night at your place, but the idea was certainly tempting. "Oh...Are you sure it wouldn't be too much trouble? I don't want to impose on your hospitality."

"Not at all." You had a warming smile on your lips. Viktor thought about it for a second, knowing that he didn't want to go back to his cold and empty apartment. Though..sleeping on your sofa is more comfortable than on his. He eventually nodded, accepting your invitation. "If you're sure, then I don't mind staying over."

Viktor laid on the sofa, the soft fabric of the cushions against his skin. He tossed and turned for a few minutes before finally relaxing and closing his eyes. It didn't take long for him to fall into a deep sleep, the exhaustion from working on the machine finally catching up to him. His normally brooding features looked soft and relaxed as he slept, the sharp lines of his face smoothed out and his messy hair fell over his forehead.

Your eyes softened as you looked at him. His sleeping appearance looks so... soft and peaceful. You giggled a little by how cute he was. Gosh...you wished that you could just leave kisses on his whole face. But.. you knew he would be weirded out, especially since you both aren't in a relationship. You sighed.

As Viktor continued to sleep, unaware that you were watching over him, he shifted a little in his sleep, rolling over and burying his face into the sofa cushions. His breathing was soft and steady. His body was completely relaxed as he slept through the night. You felt relieved though. You were glad that he is resting well now.

A few more hours had pass, and the sunlight slowly gives way to the soft dark of moonlight peeking through the windows. Viktor slowly opens his eyes, squinting a little. He groaned quietly as he sat up.

"Did you get a good sleep?" You asked, making Viktor turn to look at you. He rubs his eyes and yawns quietly before nodding in response to your question. "Yes...I did." He lets out another yawn before stretching his arms above his head, his muscles relaxing from the movement. Your eyes soften. "Be safe on your way home.."

He looks over at you, noticing the softness in your eyes. He stands up slowly, grabbing his cane from beside the sofa and walking over to you. "I will. And...thank you for letting me stay the night. It was more comfortable than the lab or my apartment.."

"Your welcome. Oh, and here." You gave him a container filled with some food. "I made it while you were asleep..Please do eat them at home." Viktor was little surprised as you give him the food. He smiles faintly, touched by your thoughtfulness. "Thank you... you didn't have to do that." He takes the food, holding it in one hand, before looking at you again. "I... guess I should get going now"

But as he was about to leave, you stopped him. "Wait! Viktor..." When he heard his name being called out, he stopped in his tracks. He turns around, tilting his head and looked at you curiously. "Yes?"

"Ahem..uhm, you know there's going to be a party, right..? Are you..going?" Viktor's expression hardens slightly at the mention of the party, he's never been good in social situations. He took a deep breath, mulling over the idea in his head. He wasn't sure if he wanted to go. Parties weren't exactly his scene, but at the same time... "To be honest... I don't know if I'm going"

Your smile faded slightly. "Why not...?" Viktor leaned against his cane, sighing. "Parties aren't my...idea of a good time. I'm not a fan of large crowds and I'm not exactly the best at talking to people.." He said honestly. "Oh, I see.." You felt a pang of disappointment. You had been looking forward to seeing him there, imagining how his presence would brighten the atmosphere and make the event more enjoyable.

Viktor is silent for a moment, mulling over something in his brain. He glances at you, a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. Maybe he should just ask... what's the worst that can happen? "Although... if you're going... I wouldn't mind going with you." Eh..? Did you hear that right? "...Really?" Your expression immediately softened.

He nods slightly, a hint of blush on his cheeks. "Yes. Although.. I'd understand if you'd rather go with someone else... but I thought... we could go together, if you'd like to that is..."

As soon as you heard him say that, you wrapped your arms around his body, hugging him. "I would love to!"

Viktor was a bit taken off guard by your sudden embrace. He smiles faintly as he feels your arms wrapped around him. He hesitantly hugs you back, feeling a bit strange but also...warm and comfortable.

You realised what you did, and blushed. You immediately backed away. "Sorry-"

"No, don't apologise...it's alright." His voice was unusually gentle as he spoke. His heart was still racing after the brief moment of unexpected physical contact. He looked at you with a slight smile on his face, his blush still faintly visible on his cheeks.

"...see you later then?"

He nodded, still feeling the warmth of your embrace lingering on his body. He adjusted his cane in his grip, taking a deep breath before speaking. "Yes, I'll see you later...and I'll be looking forward to the party."

After Viktor left, leaving you alone, he was a blushing mess, and so were you. He walked out of your house in a slight daze, his mind still replaying the moment of you embracing him. His thoughts were a mess, both ecstatic that you agreed to go with him to the party, and nervous out of his mind at the thought of actually going to the party with you. Meanwhile, you were giggling and couldn't even sleep from too much happiness. You squealed and buried your face in your pillow.

Let's just say...you both were really looking forward to the party.

[sanzaibian]

I'm loving the stories! I'm heading to Mexico in a few weeks with work, but hoping to immerse myself in the culture a bit. Can you help me out?

You find yourself in front of your local Spanish-language association. You thought that taking a few classes in Spanish would help you recover some of the long forgotten classes you took in high school… though in all honesty, it won’t likely do much. You’re quite old, now, so it means that your brain cannot learn new languages as easily as it used to...

As you enter, you see the Mexican flag front and center, along with flags of many other Latin American countries, as well as that of Spain. You walk up to the receptionist, and she tells you, directly in Spanish :

“¡Bienvenidos! ¿Cuál es el motivo de usted venida? (Welcome ! What is the reason you came here ?) - Er…” You try to conjure some of the very old memories, and only manage a “Hola !” Before going back to English. “I’m sorry, I don’t really know Spanish… I’m here to take classes, in fact.”

The receptionist nods, and thinks a bit before taking out a timetable.

“Okay, well, you see, I have a... beginner’s course of Spanish in a few hours… It’s not perfect because they already started in January, but I think you can still catch up if you work hard enough.” She says, with a perfect American accent. She is visibly bilingual. - Oh, in a few hours ?”

You are quite interested, considering that you did want some beginner-level courses, but in a few hours… That’s too short to just go back home and come back later, but that’s also too long to just stay here and wait without getting bored !

The receptionist notices your embarrassment.

“You know, we are also a place where Spanish learners and native speakers can hang out. If you want, you can go to the hangout room while waiting ?” She offers sympathetically. - Well yeah, I could do that.” You nod. It may be geared towards more hard-core learners, but you can always try to immerse yourself…

You go to the room she waves you to. It isn’t loud, but there’s quite a lot of people in it, all speaking Spanish. You go and find somewhere to sit, when, on your way, someone hails you.

“¡Hola! ¿Cómo te llamas? (Hello ! (...) ?)”

Your long-buried memories start churning, as you recognize the second sentence as meaning something like “What’s your name ?”. You think a while, and then, flash of brilliance.

“Me llamo Charlie.” You answer, giving out your name in the most American of accents.

Your conversation partner smiles, and speaks quite slowly to let you understand what he means.

“¿Cuántos años tiene?” You understand the sentence to mean ‘How old are you ?’ - Er… Soy… cuarenta y dos… años ?” You try, but he shakes his head. - No, ¡es ‘Tengo ventidós’ o ‘Tengo ventidós años’!”

You blush of embarrassment as he corrects you. Yes, you now remember that to mean “I am x years old” you say “Tengo x (años)”… you even remember the worksheets from way back when… Huh, it seems like it was less far of a memory than you thought.

“Lo siento…” You excuse yourself with sentence that came back strangely fast. - ¡Jajaja!” He laughs. “¡No te preocupes! ¡Hablar español es difícil! (Don’t worry ! Speaking Spanish is difficult !)”

You are surprised how easy it is to understand him. Visibly, you had more memories than you expected ! Then, that guy continues.

“¿De dónde es? (Where are you from ?) - Soy de… Mexico… Nuevo Mexico. (I’m from… Mexico… New Mexico.)”

You almost stumbled on yourself. There seems to be something wrong with that statement. You know you’re American, but something seems wrong…

“Ah, de... ¿Nuevo México? Pero tu acento no suena asi… (Ah, from… New Mexico ? But your accent doesn’t seem like it comes from there...) - Si, es verdad… (Yes, it’s true...)” You’re about to tell him that it’s because you’re American, but then you say : “La gente dice que tengo un acento de la Ciudad de Mexico. Sabes, Mexihco Hueyaltepetl. (People say that I have an accent from Mexico City. You know, Mexihco Hueyaltepetl (?).)”

Wait, why do people say that ? You never went to Mexico City ! Okay, yes, you did go there for the holidays, after all, your father lives there… Wait, your parents aren’t separated !

You get more and more confused as multiple versions of your history start competing with each other.

“¡Ah, tenía razón! Puedo verlo en tu cara que eres… eh… ¿mexiqueño? (Ah, I was right ! I can see by your face that you are… er… from Mexico City ?) - ¡Jajaja!” You laugh. “¡No se dice ‘mexiqueño’! ¡Se dice capitalino, o chilango si estás familiarizado! (You don’t say “Mexiqueño” ! You say “Capitalino”, or “Chilango” if you’re familiar !)” You don’t quite know where this knowledge comes from. It seems like something only locals would know… - Perdón, soy chileno, no lo sabía… (Sorry, I’m Chilean, I didn’t know...)”

You smile at him. Of course, he couldn’t know that, you’re familiar with these terms because you’re a Chilango through and through ! Born in the city, lived in the city ! Yet you furrow your brows, as something still feels off.

Somehow, you’re convinced that you’re American, even though it seems to be a more and more distant fact. Well, when you look down and see those tan arms, you know that you aren’t, like, a total gringo, you’re at least part Latino…

“¿Cómo es la vida allá? (How is life there ?)” The Chilean guy asks you, a torrent of memories coming back (?) to you. - ¡Es complicado de describir! Pero México es muy dinámico, ¡entonces siempre es interesante! (It’s difficult to describe ! But Mexico is very dynamic, so it’s always interesting !)” You think back to how frantic life is over there… and how much you love that. “Especialmente comparado con aquí, parece que esta citudad está muerta… ¡En México siempre hay un xochitzin con el que te puedes topar! (Especially when compared to here, this city seems dead… In Mexico, there’s always an xochitzin (?) you can run into !)”

As the Chilean nods, you keep getting quite confused. You know you’re from Mexico City, you know you’re American, yet somehow there is like… a piece of the puzzle missing. You keep on thinking strange words like “Mexihco Hueyaltepetl” or “ihni”, and you know it’s not Spanish, nor English – not that you would know too much of that language.

You continue thinking as your body starts feeling strange, as you feel it shifting. You put your hand on your forehead and sense your wrinkles relaxing. You feel quite queasy…

“¿Estás bien? (Are you alright ?) - Me siento un poco mareada… (I feel a bit dizzy…) - Sólo tienes que ir al baño. ¿Quieres que te ayude? (Just go to the toilets. You want me to help ?) - No, estará bien. Tlazohcamati. (No, it’s gonna be alright. (???)) - Okay… eh... ¿Eres indígenas? (Okay… er… Are you a Native American ?)”

You don’t answer the Chilean, only giving him a small wave to thank him. You find your way to the toilets, still queasy, and look at yourself.

You’ve got your usual short black hair, your nascent beard that doesn’t want to come along, your brownish tint, as well as your light muscles. Nothing looks out of place, yet something seems wrong.

Is it the fact that you are so youthful ? You know you’re quite twinky. Is it the fact that your skin looks weird ? You know that it’s clearer than the other’s because your mother is gringo.

You feel even more queasy, as you feel your entire body tensing. Memories come back of your time in the gym, but also of the time with all your xochitzmeh (bros)… Yes, you now remember how you’re the son of an American linguist and a Nahua man. How you grew up speaking Nahuatl along with the other kids from around Mexico City. How you started going to the gym to prove that gays aren’t cuiltemeh (sissies/fags). How you now cringe to that line of thought, yet continue doing it to attract guys.

As the pieces of your life go back together, your queasiness dissipates, and you feel better. You drink a bit of water, and then you go back to the hangout room. As you go in there, the Chilean hails you once again.

“¡Charlie! ¿Esta mejor? (Charlie ! Doing better ?)”

Laughable, “Charlie” is only the nickname your grandparents use when you’re at their house… Why does that guy even know it ?

“¡Mi nombre no es Charlie, es Carlos! ¡Carlos Zopiyactle! (My name isn’t Charlie, it’s Carlos ! Carlos Zopiyactle !)” You say in a very matter-of-fact fashion. - Lo siento, pensé que te llamabas Charlie… (Sorry, I thought that you were named Charlie...) - No es nada. (It’s nothing.)” You answer with a very Mexican accent, aspirating your ‘s’. “Pero, tengo que irme ahora. ¡Adiós! (However, I need to go now. Goodbye !) - ¡Adiós, Carlos! (Goodbye, Carlos !)”

You leave the room, go past the receptionist who smiles at you a bit weirdly, and make your way back to your grandparent’s home. You don’t really like going there, because you’re not very good in English, but eh. Pleasing your mom is a good enough reason.

Suddenly, you hear a very familiar-sounding sound from your phone. You open it, seeing a notification, smile, and answer it before calling your mother.

“¡Cualli teotlaltzintli! ¡Amo niyaz tlacualpan! (Good evening ! I’m not going to be there for dinner !) - Pff… ¡Aic timotlamahzehua nanmonahuac! (Pff… You never come eat with us !) - Nomati, pero tengo cosas que hacer. (I know, but I have things to do.)” You say, switching back a bit to Spanish. - ¿Zannima tihual mocuepaz? (You will come back soon ?) - Quema. Nantli, nimitz nequi. (Yes. Mom, I love you.) - Ohuihqui nimitz nequi. (I love you too.)”

You finish the call and smile. She doesn’t have to know that you’re missing the family dinners to be pounded. Those jocks on Grindr don’t know what your pseudonym “Moiztactlaca” means, but it sounds foreign, and they love it.

Soon, you’re going back home to Mexico City, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t take advantage of all the hot guys here in the meantime !

[thejockout]

New File! "P.S: Dumb Definition" (Beginner's Himbofication, IQ Play, etc.)

This file is the start of what may become a recurring series for me, the "Paradigm Shift" set of files.

My intent with this file is to help demystify and destigmatize elements of dumbing down in direct conversation with the subconscious mind of subjects who like the idea of it, but are a little afraid to try it... I've been there with myself, and I remember how frustrating it was to experience CRAVING this kinda dumbness and being unable to let go and sink in trance enough to feel it happen.

My own journey towards embracing this kink in a healthy way was a slow one; in truth, I might still be on it. I'm hoping this file can accelerate your progress on the same journey, by teaching you that it's the listener who can define what dumb means for them in the context of hypnosis. Permanent or temporary, intense or mild... all flavours of dumb are valid, and you should be able to chase the one you want without fearing the others.

Think of this as Dumbing Down 101; the introductory module. It will probably still dumb down some of you fuckers because you're all so soft and squishy and uwu, so it should have a fun little kick. But if you need a slow start/recontextualisation of the kink, this is the place to go. It's almost an accessory to Chill Out, Bro or Subconscious Protector in that way; ideal for a beginner to the dumb jock space.

Content warnings for this file:

Predictably, this file contains discussion of the word dumb and its societal trappings (so, discussion about how it's used to condemn people who aren't academically smart, despite any other sklls they may have) and uses the word dumb a whole fucking lot lol. If that triggers you, hypnotically or otherwise, beware!

There is discussion of such "clichés" of dumbness as bimbos, himbos, etc. during the file. However, it's not suggested that the listener specifically exhibit traits of any of these stereotypes.

I expect the file will elicit a dumbing-down response of varying intensities depending on the listener due to its permissive nature. You may leave the file feeling a little foggy, a little slow-brained... or just chilled out... or maybe entirely normal. It's very subjective and left up to your subconscious mind to decide how much of this you want to experience; but you can expect this to change with time, as your relationship to the idea of dumbing down changes too.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

When I'm not dropping myself or others, I'm off being a mystical forest bro in the wilderness of Ireland. But I am always available for commissions if you reach out via DM. My flat rate is currently $60-100, but you can check my pinned Tumblr post for more up-to-date info. You can also support me with a one-time tip either via Paypal or Ko-Fi... or by subscribing to me on Patreon! Keep listening, bros.

[lia404]

(tl;dr: this is just a long ramble, me trying to convince myself that I need to stop feeling so shy and inaccurate about my bookbinding and that sharing my photos and talking about my projects is valid.)

As I'm preparing Binderary, I've contacted authors of my favourite fanfics to make sure they didn't mind me adding their stories to my bookshelf, posting photos And, if they're interested, to send them a copy (if funds allow; being on the verge of becoming a redundancy does put a question mark to it. It's still something I very much want to make a part of my ethics.)

I tried to build a script for when I contact said authors (and maybe you noticed already, if I've contacted you): a comment in which I desperately try to explain my approach and show I'm a reliable and passionate fanbinder. I swear I'm a writer, but I cringe every time I try to put words on this. I have this huge feeling of illegitimacy, of someone who needs to apologise before I even started the process of binding. I feel like I have to justify everything, in a "don't be afraid, this is a nice project I swear, look here are a billion references that make my message all the more overwhelming" kind of way. I also feel like I'm getting everyone's hopes up, because so many fanbinded books I've seen are gorgeous, while mine are terrible. There's glue everywhere; the pages are printed sideways; the ink bled; the hinges and squares are uneven. Everything is a "prototype" because I don't dare call it a book.

I am immensely grateful for the kindness of the authors I contacted, who were all so accepting, encouraging, and even enthusiastic (although this last one makes me nervous, because as mentioned above: expectations, oh no.)

Now that I have completed some personal projects, I know from experience that photos should not always be trusted, that gorgeous projects have their flaws too, and as such, that mine have a right to be wonky and uneven.

An example: the very first notebook I binded.

I took an old notebook I didn't like the cover of, destroyed it, re-sewed the signatures, added these "Flower Power" pages from a decorated pad I bought for something else completely, and then fought for my life against glue and the paper I picked for the cover.

It does not look awful, if you see the photo from afar. I know multiple people around me said it was nice.

The truth of it:

My cover tore, and I had to add a ribbon to vaguely hide it. Except I didn't have a ribbon that fit. So I added a torn ribbon over a torn cover, adding glue everywhere.

It's even worse on the other side, where you also see that my book case is completely crooked and the squares are so uneven it's almost funny. There's one centimeter of difference here.

As the case would not stick, I added glue and ended up wrapping the endpages INSIDE the cover, rather than glueing them above. The paper tore. Beginner's mistakes.

But hey, the glue makes it shiny, and wrapping looks like I wrapped a present! How fancy.

And yet, when you don't know about it, with the right light and the right untrained eye, it actually looks somewhat nice.

I'm not exactly proud of the result of this first attempt, although I'm really proud I managed to complete the first attempt itself. But I didn't learn from these first mistakes, no. I kept making them again and again, so much so that I gave up doing it by myself only and ended up attending a short bookbinding workshop. (Possibly my best decision of 2024.)

Having access to actually good material with a trained teacher definitely helped. The results look better—and yet.

Look, this one I did last year is so pretty:

The paper cover is gorgeous, and so are the endpapers.

And it's a rounded spine, too, so that's quite fancy. I've had so many people compliment it, and yet...

...yeah. Even with my teacher supervising me in the workshop, it seems like squares are not my friends. It's a good half centimeter here, which on such a small format of notebook actually makes a noticeable difference—that no one notices when they stick to the first photos, the ones that made people go "oooh" and "aaah" and received compliments.

Bottom line: I am an amateur, I am legitimate and not inaccurate as such, and I need to stop feeling shy about sharing my bookbinding photos here. (I do need to learn to take photos, though.)

I've been binding more and more notebooks lately, and made "prototypes", and learnt a lot. And now, I have received the approval of many writers who are eager to see their stories turned into physical books (and I'm eager too) so I know I can proceed with my experiments. Maybe they even won't feel (too) robbed when they see the result.

I'm still looking for a nice/funny/fitting name for my press. Once I have it, I'll likely do a separate blog specifically for my experiments and actual bindings. I am hopeful that having a blog serving as a portfolio will help in feeling more legitimate when I end up contacting more creators, because there are TONS of stories I want on my bookshelves. I've been trying to handmake books since I was five (there was a lot of adhesive tape involved back then), experimenting a lot along the way, until over 25 years later when I stumbled upon Renegade Bindery and reached the "anyone can make books!" mindset.

A few years later, let's be real: NOT anyone can make books. Why is this hobby so expensive in money, time, energy and room? My apartment is small, my bank account will likely not enjoy the job redundancy, and god knows my time and energy were already quite spare before this.

But I proved myself that I can make books, and people don't seem to hate it? And maybe I can give back to authors who spent hours and hours and hours writing story that kept me going through all these years. Even if my squares are uneven, my pages are cut sideways and my my glue stains are impossible to hide.

So here we are. This was my first post about bookbinding, and most of all fanbinding. Now, onto finding a nice name for my press, before I can finally share photos of my lovely mess.

[tenyrasims]

Since im learning how to use Blender n Stuff atm i tried myself on some simple poses that I wanted to have since ages on my Game. They still need the finishing touch, however as i opened my game to test them Titan and Roxy just crashed it and i needed to do some photos 😂 Specially Titan is such a attention whore its like he want to be on every photo I take❤️

-

🡩 I dunno how it came to this but ... what are they both waiting for ... a treat?😂 Hard choice

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── Idk i think it will end up like 6 or 7 poses, the photos show just a few variations of them, not sure yet. Dont expect a wonder im still a beginner if it comes to blender😝 but for those who want them I will share them on my Patreon or might do a post about it with a simfileshare link too.

Maybe I can even share them later, or tomorrow. Depending on how it goes with blender struggle. I'm also working on a few animations for my story, because I wanted to take a look at it~ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Have a nice day♥

[scandistar]

For the longest time, I've been stuck in a sort of writer's paralysis. Managing to make myself start somewhere is always the hardest part and keeping up a reasonable pace with what I am producing is a different challenge, but a challenge nonetheless.

I imagine that so many people, and not just writers, can relate to the feeling of getting nowhere because of a tendency to get stuck in their own heads. To obsess over the smallest details and eventually lose interest in what you once loved doing because of the immense pressure you put on yourself to perform and do so to amount to a nearly impossible standard no one expects you to reach but yourself. It is daunting trying to ascend a staircase when the steps reach higher than you can climb.

I've only been here for a short while and I've only known Charrelin for a few weeks, but I feel I'm finally getting somewhere, even if that somewhere isn't as much as I had hoped from myself. Not yet, at least.

I guess I'm writing this as a note to myself, and to whoever might get something out of reading this, but it's crucial to both focus on and enjoy the process. It's important to be aware of the overarching point, yes, but if you obsess over how to make every piece of the puzzle fit together flawlessly or on filling an unreasonable amount of criteria you've set for yourself, you'll lose all joy of creation.

I have a bad habit of comparing my skills to those around me. There are some absolutely amazing and talented people on this platform and I admire each and every one of them and the stories they tell through art in all forms. This is also a trap I'd imagine many are tempted to fall into, which is awful, but it's of utmost importance to remember that everyone has something to bring to the table, big or small. And even if you're a beginner and your skills are still far from advanced, you are (and I mean this with all my heart) a GIFT. Because, without your kind, we wouldn't have the amazing writers and artists who share their creativity and vision with the world. Because, just like you, they began somewhere. Just like you, they had to learn and grow to become as skilled as they are today. Just like you, they're open and willing to bring colour into the lives of others. If they didn't start somewhere, who would give us all those stories? If YOU don't start somewhere, who is going to give us all of your stories? It doesn't matter if you started drawing/writing last week or if you've been doing it since 85, I WILL eat everything you make.

[random1d10t]

Hello everyone and happy holidays,

I come here as both a Tumblr roleplayer but also as myself aka Random

Honorable mention to @ace-passive-aggression for getting me into getting Tumblr, I wouldn't have this account if they didn't make me get it. Love you ace <3

I started this account not really expecting to use it but since July I have been apart of the ever growing Fable smp community.

I started Fable smp late, while everyone was on s3 I had just started s1, Fable smp was the first thing I started my account on and I will not be stopping any time soon, I still have a huugggeeee list of the characters I want to draw and redraw as I definitely did Rae, Isla and enderian dirty before

Since then my style had expanded and I still need to learn how to colour in my pieces correctly ;-; but I'm learning as a somewhat beginner artist.

Since the end of summer the roleplay accounts started. I started the perix accounts because I saw a centross and enderian account needed one and I thought, 'well I do like roleplays' and joined in, it was soo late at night when I begun but it was possibly the best idea I've ever had, since then the roleplay accounts grew so much now I'm basically 2 oc's (not counting sirena I'll get into her in a second) all of the casus accounts, perix and now Alerion! (I have my work caught out for me 😮‍💨)

About sirena aka @sirena-of-the-sirens-call

Me and my friends have made an smp called Tehe smp, we haven't done much online, haven't used our rp accounts to the fullest yet but we're getting there, one day

I want to appreciate @deadlyxazul @thatbiblob @celestialstarzz and @villian-of-memories (sorry on the tag to the rp acc it's the only one that works 4 me ;-;)

@deadlyxazul , thank you so much for putting up with my silly little gay behavior and being silly and gay with me, we wouldn't have malena (mal x sirena) without you <3

@thatbiblob , thank you for making the server, and allowing someone you hardly knew (me) to be the first on your server, we would never have the thought of Tehe smp without you <3

@celestialstarzz , thank you for your silly characters and for agreeing to play sirena's betrothed pirate ex- and playing castor sirena wouldn't have an Athena arc without him <3

And finally @villian-of-memories (Vega ur account don't work for me :{) , thank you for agreeing to join Tehe smp (and giving sirena a father figure who isn't dead) even when we had just talked and hadn't really met you still agreed to join Tehe smp despite not knowing me outside of the discord server

I'm glad I didn't follow the 'don't talk to strangers' rule, I would have never made so many friends that way

[hellativity]

anyway it's crazy how time continues to go on. In 2022 I did my first run of st pats shows and parades with my current dance school. And after the last show my teacher said hey you were great with the kids, would you ever want to help teach? And I was very flattered but I was like. I have trouble even making it to my own 2 classes every week. So not right now.

and then that summer I got myself some anxiety meds and and then the next year I competed in my 3rd ever oireachtas (my first since 2014) and came in last place but saw SO much growth in my dancing and confidence, and then the year after that I said. You know what, I really do want to help with teaching! And in April of last year I started assistant teaching two classes of tiny kiddos, and then a few months later I started assistant teaching the adult class too. And now I'm at the studio 4 days a week (or 5 or 6 if I have extra lessons or workshops or practice sessions) and last year I competed in my fourth ever oireachtas and I DIDN'T get last and a month before that i placed into Open, which is something I always thought would be out of reach for me.

Anyway as a teen/college student i always preferred working with middle school age and i never expected to have such an amazing time working with ages 3-6. But I love to see their growth as dancers and as people throughout the term. So many of our beginner class have come SO far learning their skip two threes and sevens. So many of the intro class kids come in clinging to their parents and then over the months they open up and love to play and dance with the teachers! I love that I get to be myself with them (awkward, serious, technical, still making plenty of mistakes) and as long as we respect each other we all have a great time in class. I also love teaching adults. They all come from different backgrounds and it's fun to work with them to figure out the best way to break down the steps and technique for them to understand and execute it. And in exchange I have so much fun, spend time with so many awesome students, I get an extra workout twice a week, and it's also nice that I get some cash to put towards my dance classes!

And 3 years ago I would stay in bed because I was too nervous to go to dance class some days.

Anyway I'm SO excited for the intro & beginner dancers to experience st patrick's day season! and for the newer adult dancers to hopefully do some shows too! And I'm excited too! I love going out and seeing the community at this time of year.

Btw I posted all this bc yesterday our beginner class maintained a straight line while doing 8 skips across the room 🥰 we love to see it

[seospicybin]

Hiiiii! I hope you're doing well! I won't ask this annonymously. You already know I am obsessed with your writing and your stories and I thought maybe it's time to gain some courage and ask you what I've always wanted to ask you, because as a writer myself I want to reach your level (I am totally being delulu rn). I decided to do this through your "Spicy mail" and not through DM, because there are probably more people like me who want to ask you these questions. Don't feel obliged to answer though, I totally understand if you don't feel comfortable answering all of this! 1. When did you start your writing journey?

2. Were you always this good at writing (which I know is probably impossible, I just need to ask lol)? 3. What did you do to develop your writing skills?

4.What's the process of writing like - ideas, reasearch, writing, character development, structurizing the storyline, etc.?

5. How long does it take you to come up with a storyline and how long does it take to write one whole story (including time for research)? 6. How do you plan/schedule your writing time? 7. How many stories can you work on at the same time? 8. Last but not least - Any advice for the beginner writes around here?

Hi, dearest Brielle! I'm doing well and hope you're as well. Oh, please, don’t hesitate to ask my questions, just don't expect some mindblowing answers cause I don't think I'm that good of a writer yet. 🙅🏻‍♀️😂

1. My love for writing began when I was 14 or 15. I did all kinds of writing back then, poems, journals, scripts, I wasn’t sure what I want to write (and I still am) but I love just being creative with my writings and then when I stumbled into the fandom, I was like 'why not combining my two fave things into one?' I hesitated a lot before deciding to start seospicybin but I am glad I dared myself to do it and here I am.

2. Of course, not. I CRINGE whenever I read my old fics but then I wouldn’t have improved this much if I didn't make mistakes or experiencing failures. It's all about the process and I am still processing ⌛😂

3. Just keep writing. I write everything on my phone notes from my grocery lists, random fic ideas, sentences that I got from romantic epiphany to weird dreams I had last night. I think at one point writing comes naturally to me like on good days, I don't have any problems spitting 1k words. But also it's very important to read as well, find the reference and the writing style you like.

4. It starts with an idea and from there, I start to roughly mapping the plot, the most important thing is I have decided how the story begins and ends. Then I look for the member that fits the story well. Research. Then, I'll start polishing the plot and create a seamless time frame from one scene to the other. Once I figure it all out then I'll list the scenes from beginning to end and start writing. It's actually more complicated in practice iykyk 😭

5. Depends on the story I'm working on. The longest I worked on a fic is one year, it was Hyunjin's Pluto. I had to really shape the story and the characters and I kept changing the plot in the middle. But sometimes, it only took like a week or days. So it depends on how complex the fic idea is.

6. I have a rl job so I write purely as a hobby so I try to always spare two to three hours just to write. Either I succeed on writing 1k words or barely a sentence, I make it as a habit. However, I set a deadline so I don't always procrastinating or slacking off 🙈

7. Two. Sometimes 3. I can barely keep up if it's more than that. My head is always busy thinking of the next fic even though the one I'm working on is not finished yet 😮‍💨

8. Don't be scared to explore wild ideas or doubt if people would read it or not. As long as it's original and you enjoy writing it, just do it. No matter how bizarre or strange or crazy your idea is, believe me, it'll find its own crowd. Remember that you can't fit yourself into everyone's cup of tea. And lastly, don't be hard on yourself.

Hope that answer your curiosity. I'm sorry I'm not as good as you think I am. I'm just a silly fic writer. But hey, I'm always here if you need my help or to ask more questions. Good luck on everything, boo ❤️

[tzov]

I saved this as a draft for a long time but I want to share it now:

Boys and men in sports humiliate and injure to prevent girls and women from "encroaching" on what they consider their domain.

I've tried to talk about this many times in my life, and I always get the, "you just can't handle competition, you just expect me to go 'easy,' on you, you're just whiny/weak/holding up the game, this is unavoidable" when it was extremely obvious to me that I was being maliciously targeted by boys in an attempt to humiliate me, not in an attempt to simply win the game.

I recognize common threads between complex individual experiences:

-That the excess violence was CLEARLY not necessary to win;

-That it was done to me/other girls and not boys of a comparable size/skill (or, often, lesser size/skill);

-That it would occur when I was not that great of a threat i.e., they would spend the whole CASUAL game focused on shutting me down even though a lot else was going on; and then, when it was serious and we were actually trying, we would be having fun, getting rough, and then when I was up, the clear moment of a DECISION (with a petulant gleam in the eye) to make it unfun by SUDDENLY kicking/slapping/shoving me EXCESSIVELY hard (in a way I could not prepare for as it had no precedent in the game), PURPOSELY (this is not hard to tell) hurling the ball as hard as they can at my head while I'm not looking, etc. (and this was often on top of disproportionate, unsportsmanlike ridicule/taunting, i.e., condescending/disgusted/impatient that I never saw boys do to each other, instead of the fun shit-talking that I DO understand is part of sport);

-In situations where they would not allow me to play (i.e., ignore me completely as a teammate, refuse to assign me a role, etc.), because they ASSUMED I couldn't before I could prove otherwise, and then when I insist, instantly hurting me on purpose so I still never get a chance to show that I am skilled/competitive;

-And finally, it was ALWAYS in conjunction with specific comments about my femaleness, or comments about how I'm overconfident/need to be taught a lesson (and I would not include this point if I were bragging about my skills or messing up the game, I can tell if I'm holding up a competition).

In the end, all of this DOES result in my being less practiced and skilled, which serves as an ad hoc justification for it

In my memories, it seems like they are angry that a girl has the audacity to try, because nothing is more hammered into our heads than, "girls are weak and it's unthinkable to lose to them or take them seriously." Just because women can't compete with men at certain high level sports obviously does not mean that every individual girl will lose to every individual boy--- and it's so important for me to tell the difference that I am very thoughtful about whether it's "rowdy crazy high level man stuff--" I've never been interested in participating in that because it's scary and feels pointless.

As a lifelong athlete, I also have a lot of experience with accidentally getting hurt, with "intimidation" as a legitimate strategy, with making a beginner player quit because they obviously don't belong in your game; but these are all ways boys will try to pass off their cruelty.

It's also worth noting that boys my age were UNABLE to physically overpower me until about age 14, and all of this still happened (though it happened a lot more after that). I know that sometimes girls can hold up games and be overconfident and I can imagine that would be annoying. But sport is so important to me, and this pain is so deep, and I've been told these things all my life, so there's no way I would not be looking out for such nuance.

For most girls, it really only takes the one experience for them to never try again. For me, I BELIEVED people for a long time that I just needed to accept that things get competitive and rough-- and that's why I put myself through it over and over, only to find that something else, something far more sinister, was clearly at play.

In summary, men and boys are actively unsportsmanlike and unnecessarily cruel to girls and women who want to try to build skill and compete in various sports, and this is nothing to do with biological differences-- just misogyny.

[thejessc0de]

Do you have any tips for someone who is trying a more realistic aproach for their art style? your painting and lighting are so good that I had to ask 🤠

Thank you!

So this question is actually pretty hard to answer, mostly because I still consider myself a beginner/hobbyist, and I'm pretty sure a lot of my technique comes from the ~5 years of classical art training I received in middle school and high school, and that's so fuzzy I can't tell what's intuition or muscle memory! I can go over some of my workflow/thoughts though and hopefully some of it is useful!

The first thing is that for realism, You. Need. References. It is impossible to replicate the level of detail in a realistic painting without a reference. I usually pick a reference, try to draw that reference exactly, and once I have the proportions correct, I'll change it to match the character/scene I'm drawing (move an arm, tilt the head, add a hand, make the eyes bigger, add anime hair etc. haha). Over time you'll get more comfortable moving away from a specific reference and piecing together a bunch of references into something more unique.

Here is an example of a recent post that was fairly simple. I take the reference image (link to reference here) and try to match it, and then I change it to match the character details, in this case, Kashimo.

As for the lighting, when I first started, my colors were a mess! I already know basic color theory which helps, but it didn't help enough haha. What I think helped me learn the quickest was color picking - in krita you can select a color directly from an imported reference figure. So I'd find a reference that I really liked the lighting on, and color picked from it while paying attention to the actual color I was grabbing (how warm it was, gray it was, what the typical skin tones were, etc).

Later on as I started to learn what types of color palettes I really liked working with, I'd open the reference photo in Krita and tweak the image's contrast and sometimes completely change the lighting and colors. However, at some point I started using it as a crutch and my skills stagnated, so you need to be careful! However, now I've progressed to the point of doing a painting in black and white and adding the colors later (with no color picking!), sometimes even without a reference for the color. This was a slow and painful process, so don't expect things to make sense overnight!

Also, don't forget that you don't have to make the colors perfect in one shot. Usually I'll color things using a color layer with minimal detail and basic color tone (Itadori's hair is soft pink, his hoodie is bright red, etc), and then create shadows and lighting with multiply and overlay layers (blues and purples for night, etc.). Eventually I'll build up the color and merge all the layers together, and then add details in full color. I can color pick from other parts of the painting to maintain consistency. Then to finish things off, I almost always tweak the colors and contrast using filter layers.

Here is an example from that same Kashimo painting, going from black and white to full colors using color, multiply, and overlay layers, and then ending with full color details.

As a side note, starting out in black and white can make things so much easier. When you're only worried about values, you can really focus on shadow depth and the shapes of things. It's so much easier to explore rendering when you're not trying to do color on top of everything! Don't try to do everything at once.

The rendering style I use is based heavily on trying to replicate the feeling of actual oil painting. I use the (free!) art program Krita, and my favorite, most used brush is from a free pack I downloaded from deviant art (here). I use the brush called R T Masked4 (shown below) for basically 90% of any painting I do. I use about 4 brushes total on a typical painting (R T Masked4, that same brush but tweaked to be narrower for hair details, a smudge brush that I discovered maybe 10 days ago that I'm now obsessed with, and sometimes a scratchy brush for additional texture).

One last thing - don't be afraid to use tracing! Block in a reference photo to get the head and shoulders in the right place!! Trace a few hands to see how it feels!!! Obviously don't trace somebody's art and present it as your own, and it should only be rough approximations of shapes so you learn how to break down the body into parts. Otherwise, it won't be helpful at all. I only use photographs for tracing, including pictures I've taken of myself. One of the more helpful things I'll do is free hand my drawing and try to make it match the reference as closely as possible. Then, on a separate layer, I'll trace the reference photo (again, no details, just general positioning/shapes), and compare it to my original drawing. I can immediately see the issues, and I'll use the liquify tool to get things in the right place. I've learned that my horizontal spacing is usually pretty good, but I struggle with vertical spacing, especially on faces. So now I triple check my work for those specific things!

This kinda turned into a book, I'm sorry! I hope some of this is helpful and doesn't sound like the 10:30pm ramblings of someone who didn't get enough sleep haha.

[eldritch-elrics]

the 5 best games i played in 2024

this is not a "top games of 2024" list, because, as always, i failed to play more than a handful of games that were released this year. instead, these are my favorites of the... 14 or so? games i beat for the first time this year. enjoy!

i tried to limit myself to putting one game per franchise on here. sorry, dark souls 3.

1. Dark Souls (2011)

a game about being one little undead warrior in a big mean world <3

dark souls! what a game! though i technically started playing this in december 2023, i think i'm allowed to count it among my 2024 games.

moreover, this is definitely going on the "favorite games of all time" list. i adore dark souls. it's rare that i start playing a game and instantly feel like we're speaking the same language. i love the weirdness and awkwardness of it, i love the grungy medieval fantasy atmosphere, the great characters, the difficult but satisfying combat, the incredibly memorable environments... the list goes on. there's a reason this is a classic. it's a very silly game and also a very clever game. i am incredibly glad that i decided to give it a try.

2. Silent Hill 2 (2001)

a game about a man who travels to a strange, empty town in search of his dead wife.

there was this one night in october in which i played through a frankly ridiculous chunk of this game in one sitting, and afterwards i felt completely insane in a way that i have very rarely experienced!!! what did they put in silent hill 2 to make it one of the most emotionally arresting game stories i've ever seen? i'm still trying to answer this one. add to that some top-notch atmosphere, excellent scares, and an environmental design philosophy that makes the world seem simultaneously more real and more surreal... and you get an incredibly tight, smart game where every part of it contributes to crafting the experience.

3. Inscryption (2021)

a game about playing a life-or-death game of cards in a spooky cabin with an old man who likes to cheat.

speaking of very clever video game stories!! inscryption is a fantastic addition to the metafictional games canon. of all of the games here, i think this one surprised me the most - it plays with your expectations so deftly, and all in service of a deliciously simple meta premise. helps that the core gameplay is extremely addictive, too. this was my balatro

4. The Beginner's Guide (2015)

a game about a guy showing you a few short games his friend made.

can i put a game on this list that i haven't played myself? though i watched courtesy play it, it's more or less a "walking simulator" sort of a game, so i got more or less the same experience. anyway, this is another metafictional game that subverts expectations in a major way that i am still thinking about nearly a year later. unfortunately, this is another one i shouldn't talk too much about - it's short, you should just play it yourself.

5. Lil Gator Game (2022)

a game about a lil gator trying to build the best playground game ever with their friends!

not only is this a very cute game about a cute gator exploring a big island, it is also a beautifully written game about games. not in the same way as inscryption or beginner's guide - it's about playground games! as someone who played a lot of those as a kid, this one struck a chord with me. it's also very creative, consistently laugh-out-loud funny, and all around charming.

honorable mentions:

Sable (2021) - what a cool world. what a cool way (and cool reason) to explore a world. this one majorly scratched my "exploring and collecting things" itch.

Dark Souls 3 (2016) - dark souls 3 is just really good, guys.

and if you want to see a list of all the games i played/experienced this year, here it is!

[datamodel-of-disaster]

Swordtember 2024: Wings/Eyes/Insect

Look at that! I managed to draw again, spurred on by the Swordtember prompts and (going by my lack of sleep recently) a hypomanic phase. Because I was late to the party and not super well-prepared, I'm combining prompts 🙈

This was the first thing I managed to draw in months, so I'm rusty AF and all my beginner-ness is on full display. Still, proud of myself for getting over myself! Turns out I have a lot of stuff to process, so expect there to be *themes* in the pieces I'll end up posting...

[chrisfriel]

beginners guide to dying 040724

rarely post non photographic stuff but this moved me today

In September 2023, Simon Boas was diagnosed with throat cancer. Aged just 46, he was told the disease was terminal, and that it would ultimately take his life.

Over the following year, he knitted together his reflections on life into a book - A Beginner's Guide to Dying. The book is set to hit the shelves in October. It will be a posthumous publication.

In what he expects to be one of his final interviews, Simon spoke to Emma Barnett on the Today Programme, offering his reflections on life and death as he moved into hospice care.

My pain is under control and I'm terribly happy - it sounds weird to say, but I'm as happy as I've ever been in my life.

I used to think I'd rather be hit by the proverbial bus, but having a couple of months knowing this is coming has really helped me both do the boring 'death-min', but also get my thoughts and prepare myself, and feel so accepting of what's to come.

It's been such a great bonus, actually.

The book is called A Beginner's Guide to Dying, but really what I'm trying to convey is how enjoying life to the full kind of prepares you for this.

In some ways I was lucky that my life and my career have taken me to quite a lot of places where death is more a part of life than it is for us in the West.

I spent my life as an aid worker - quite a lot with the UN - and I've lived in places where death is something that not just exists in the background, but is imminently possible.

I spent three years running a UN office in the Gaza Strip. I spent a lot of time in Rwanda, Sierra Leone, and I've been working in Ukraine. Seeing people there for whom death is such a part of life - they lose children, they don't know where the next meal is coming from - has really helped me.

I've also been a Samaritan for the past four years. In some cases you are on the line while people end their lives, so I think death has been more a part of my life than for many people.

It does us all good to think about it.

That's not in a gloomy way… by kind of realising it's inevitable and it's a part of life, it actually throws life into perspective and helps you to enjoy it more and prioritise the important things.

My family are about to go through the most difficult thing in their lives. My lovely wife, Aurelie, and my parents… are well surrounded, and I hope that my cheerfulness in the leaving of life might perhaps help them in the next few years…

All our lives are little books - but they're not someone else's complete book. You're a chapter or a page or a footnote in someone else's life and they are going to keep writing beautiful chapters when you are gone.

And those green shoots can grow around grief and put it in perspective. I hope people will think, "I'm glad I read that - Simon's story". And just because it's over, doesn't mean it's gone.

You don't need to have been a politician or a mover and shaker or an aid worker or anything in life. All of us make a huge difference.

I love this quote from George Eliot's Middlemarch:

"The effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistorical acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.”

All of us make a huge difference in life. I love the idea that most films about time travel revolve around changing one tiny thing in the past, and of course they come back to the present and everything is different.

If you project that forward, you can change huge amounts of things into the future.

All our tombs will be unvisited in a few years - all our actions will mostly be unremembered - but the smile you gave the checkout lady or the kind words you gave to a stranger in the street could still be rippling forward.

We all have that opportunity and it's a huge power. And I want everyone to realise how special and precious they are.

I love melted cheese. Unfortunately I haven't been able to eat since Christmas. The chemotherapy killed my taste buds and the radiotherapy killed my salivary glands.

So, sadly, melted cheese and all the things I loved are off the menu.

However, I've been given full permission by my oncologist and my hospice team to enjoy as much Muscadet and as many cheeky rollups as I want - and I shall certainly be indulging in those and spending time with my family.

I'm sort of - not looking forward to my final day - of course that's the wrong way to see it. But I'm kind of curious about it, and I'm happy and I'm ready.

As Julian of Norwich said: "All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well."

FULL INTEVIEW