#(babes how about an actual announcement when yall go live)

[scarefox]

Cryingggggg! Bro why was Fays live so early? I was still sleeping at that time... 😭 And worst/best of all it was with Jeffy again. Will I ever catch them live together in their Playboyy era hu??

They went out together

Don't ask why I am so fixated on them. It's mainly because we never get them in interviews or vlogs. But they are lovely. Jeffy is damn funny (and speaks english so that helps). I don't know much about Fay yet and that bothers me.

[chrolloluvr]

Hi, happy to see you back❤. I remember in one of your previous works, you mentioned Mammon possibly would babytrap reader. May you please write something on this topic?

♡ Toxic!Mammon: Babytrapping Hcs ♡

Note: Ty! Also she is referring to this post. THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REQUESTS!!! KEEP THEM COMING POOKIES! ALSO IK I HAVENT MADE AN ACTUAL POST IN A WHILE SO HERE YALL GO

Female!reader, AFAB

Warnings: NSFW, toxic themes, creampie, future child, exploiting

He will babytrap you, 100%

As I have said before, Mammon likes the idea of having complete control over you, your life, and everything you do. And what better of a way to do that than making you bear his child?

He gets this magical, invasive idea when talking to one of his work buddies. He was talking about how annoying you were, even though he cannot live without you, when his co-worker mentions how much responsibility and care a woman has for her children. And the idea hits him. If you are just going to sit around lazily all day like a spoiled brat, why not add a child into the mix?

So he will have you prowled up against his chest, his cock basically stuffing you full, as he pistons in and out of your already sore pussy. Seemingly out of nowhere, telling you

"You'd be such a good mother, wouldn't you babe."

"'Wanna see you swoll with my kids, wouldn't that be somethin'-"

Which makes you feel physically ill. Raising a child with Mamm would be basically impossible. You would never raise a child with this man. Would he support you? Would he genuinley care for your baby? Oh Satan, would he even care-

Your thoughts are abrupted as Mammon stuffs you with his seed, finishing inside yours walls and painting them with a loud groan. He gives your ass a harsh slap, as he watches his cum spilling out of you. He looks you in the eyes, and gives you a daunty chuckle. He forces you to look up at him with your tired, exhausted eyes, as he tells you ohoho babe, we aren't finished until i'm done, alright?.

And he keeps that promise, with the goal of getting you pregnant. He knows the public would go feral. The King of Greed? With a child? It gives him a publicity boost, which in turn, is good for his business, and his image.

Once you find out you are pregnant, you have to eventually tell Mammon, to your dismay. Every day, he makes you take an on brand pregnancy test as he watches. He will hold the test while you pee. Yes you heard me right. So when the test says positive one day, he is over the moon. Not at the fact that he is going to be a father, but at the fact that he is now in complete control over you, and that he can use another part of you as a pawn in his twisted fantasy.

The paparazzi have a field day over this news, because he ends up almost immediately making an announcement. There are headlines, candid photos of you going forcefully outside by mammon, etc. Its like a never ending nightmare. And dont be mistaken, he would never let you out of his sights, or get an abortion. He thinks this is too good of an opportunity.

Behind closed doors, he will actually treat you very well. Feeding you, paying attention to your every need, and not letting you lift a finger. He may even go out of his way to find some stuff by himself at the store. He'll will make you go outside with him. But at times he has to do a meeting, or host an event, he will have his goons escort you places, making sure you go public routes, to get a really good look at your swollen belly.

Brings you to meetings during this time, and picking your outfits carefully. He cant have his darling wearing any disgusting maternity clothes. So he will have you perches on his lap while he sits in his seat, embarrassment eating you whole as you see the sins/overlords snickering and bickering presumably at you. He has one hand rubbing your round belly, and one hand rubbing your shoulders as Mammon discusses his newest buisness plan.

He would create a Mammon Baby Care line. He knows he will profit off your pregnancy

"Alright fellas, so i was thinking for the ladys, a Mammon breast pump, hm? Its great right? Oh! And Mammon themed bibs, ha! Sure to make me a bunch, right babes?"

People think, how could you let Mammon knock you up? Of course, millions of girls idolize Mammon, and would want to be with him. But sometimes it feels like you are the only one who is infatuated with him. So you will try to look past the fact that he got you pregnant. You'll just try to be hopeful. But it is literally impossible with the way he keeps sweet talking you, as you snap back into the sad reality that you will be having Mammons child, and raising it. No questions to be asked.

He will lead you to subconsciously feel insecure about you and your body. He will squeeze your newly chubby cheeks, glaze his fingers over your stretch marks newly littering your body, etc. And he definitely does that on purpose.

As you reach up to the half full Nutella jar in the high cabinet in the kitchen, you hear a pair of loud footsteps coming behind you. Its Mammon. You try your best to ignore him, but you cant help but feel uneasy when you feel a pair of familiar eyes on you. It is currently 1:30 AM, and he is in a really tired mood.

"You need help sweets?"

He said with a suckle voice, knowing its affects on you are vast. He looks you up and down, admiring your perfect body in his mind. Your curves, belly, and the look your giving him. It makes him want to just bend you over and fuck your brains out likes theres no tomorrow. But he cant, he just has to be extra agile with you.

"Mamm..."

"Yeah?"

"Do I look fat?"

Ohhh boy. The question you always ask when you feel like he's eyeing you up. he hates when you ask that, because then he has to make up some half assed excuse to why he's looking at you a certain way. When your pregnant, he basically has to walk on eggshells around you.

"You... look like your carrying my child, and I like the sight of that."

"Okay, do you love me?"

He pauses. One wrong answer, and you'll refuse to talk to him for weeks. You two, as of your relationship, are in a really good spot right now. You will basically do anything for him. But you are really sensitive emotionally and physically, due to your hormones.

As he walks up behind you, he lifts you up by your waist, and hold you up to the cabinet, letting you reach.

"Y/N."

He says in a low, gruff voice.

"Yeah Mamm?"

"What the hell kind of question is that. Of course I love you."

He says as you look at him, face to face. You watch his eyes never leave yours, which makes you break off eye contact in a flustered state. You then realize that he is holding you, which makes you feel insecure.

"Okay, I love you too Mamm"

"Alright, now get your sweet treat, and get the fuck to bed, and hurry up. We've got a busy day tomorrow sweets."

He sets you down, and leaves the kitchen, leaving you with yourself, your Nutella and a spoon in hand. You look down at yourself, and your huge stomach. You wonder how you got yourself into this twisted predicament. You mostly worry about your baby's future as Mammons child. Because you are aware that Mammon will only use them for his own monetary gain. You cannot escape this man, even if you try. But you can always pretend you have your own free will, and you could always just eat your silly thoughts away, as Mammon always told you.

[unamused-boss]

Ngl im literally obsessed with ur writeing rn so! I have a request! Could you do a billy x reader where you are in a band and you invite billy to a show and hes like your biggest supporter ever. OH and you play the guitar and are the lead singer ( Yall r highsxhool yall have no money) so yeah, tysm if you do the request!!!!

That's my Girlfriend!!!

Billy Hargrove x Fem Reader

Disclaimer: This maybe a bit short, underaged drinking, some harsh language

.............................................................................

"If I'm gonna be honest I'm actually shitting myself Billy." You panicked to your boyfriend. He looked to you softly.

"Can you stop shitting your pants, you will do great." He said.

"You really think so." You look to him with big eyes. He can't help but laugh at the state of you. The first night Billy had met you was, of course, at a party were you promptly punched him in the nose. To this day you say it was an accident but Billy knows it was on purpose. He was being an ass... and you both were drunk.

"Hey." Billy smiled to you. " You are going to give the most amazing show these hicks the best show of their lives and after we are going to have the best sex of our lives." Billy laughed as you punched him in the arm for the horrible sex joke. Your expression still did not change. He brought you closer to squeeze you into a hug. He kissed your lips as an announcement was heard throughout the bar.

"Everybody, I would like to introduce a new band to you. You don't know them, but many mothers have complained about their volume level. I'd like to welcome.... VELVET CONCORD!!"

There was a small clap echo that went through the Hide Out bar. That didn't help in any way for you. Your expression stayed the same, terrified.

"You got this babe." Billy whispered. You nodded.

"You ready girl?" Dusk asked right behind the both of you.

"With the amount of crap in my pants... I guess." You are unsure about this.

This has been your dream ever since you could play guitar. You met Thorn, Luna, and Dusk all in middle school. You guys came up with Velvet Concord for the middle school talent show in 1977. That show solidified your friendship. Sure you guys didn't win but you didn't care. You all found something that will bind you together forever. This show in this bar is your first real show, not one for some school dance or party with preselected music. You will be playing original songs that you wrote, with notes that Dusk came up with, bass from Thorn, and drums from Luna. You didn't want to screw this up for them.

We've dealt with so much bullshit. From bullying cause of how we dress, to our music, jeez it only stopped when you started dating Billy. Everyone would pick on us until they needed a band for the party, and in the words of Tommy H. "I'd rather have you than the freak and his band." At least you weren't the second pick.

You and Velvet Concord made your way on stage. You nearly tripping over some cords. You were sweating, so much sweat. My throat is dry. The lights are glaring down at me. ' I can't do this' 'I should give up'.... 'What am I doing?'

"Yeeeaaaah!" A voice broke you off your head. "Let's go Velvet Concord!" It was your Billy. The Billy you punch in the face. The Billy you asked out. The Billy that asked you to be his girlfriend. The Billy that told you how sexy you look in your stage outfit tonight. The Billy that has non stopped supported you once both were together.

"Um... Hello everyone we are Velvet Concord." You started. "This is my bassist Thorn, my drummer Luna, and my pianist Dusk." Okay you've introduced everyone.

Now the show begins.

"1...2...3..."

Your guitar was on fire. You were synced with the band as if it were second nature. The upbeat rock blared through out the Hide Out. Luna put every heart beat into her drums. You don't think you have ever felt so alive. Every lyric that was sang was like it was being constructed for the first time all over again. You're back in the garage practicing what cord goes were and what note was perfect. The set that your prepared for the night was selected perfectly. Nothing can beat this. The nervous sweat now turned to excitement. Screaming every note with passion. Everything was right, this is how it is supposed to be. Velvet Concord under bright lights, even if they were from some dingy rock bar. The last riff finally hit. Thorn played it out a bit as usual.

"But on my tombstone when I go just put death by rock and roll~"

There was an eruption of applause through the crowd. The lights were turned down now you could see everyone in the crowd. Everyone cheering for your band.

"That's my girlfriend!!" A shrill voice yelled. You laughed at Billy's antics. You didn't see where he was until a force came up on stage an tackled you into a hug.

"This is my fucking girlfriend!!" He yelled to the crowd. Which in return made them scream even louder at his banter. You looked behind to see your band mates laughing at your boyfriend. You step forward away from Billy for a moment.

"Thank you everyone!." You and your band took your, very much rehearsed, bow to the crowd. You quickly unhooked your guitar from the speakers to be dragged backstage by your boyfriend. As he turned you around he brought you in for a hot kiss. Which surprised you cause you thought this would be saved for later.

"You were the most amazing and sexy woman I have ever met!" Billy cheered to you. You laughed in response. He brought your into a bear crushing hug.

"Was it really that good?" you asked.

"Good? It was better than good, it was great!" He yelled.

"Yo Y/n, get your mans under control." Thorn laughed. "We've only just begun, if he's this excited about our first show he might wipe out by our next." You girls laughed along with her. Meanwhile Billy was smothering you with a hug. If your hair wasn't already frazzled it would have been a mess.

"Guys! Guys!" Luna shouted as she ran to you all. "Joel just gave me out check!" She waved. You quickly snatched it from her flailing hand.

"Oh my gosh!" Your eyes widen at the amount, sure for some it wasn't a lot but damn!

"Who want's to flipping celebrate!!" You cheered.

"Yeeeeeaaaaahhh" Everyone else cheered in agreement. Going to run out to the bar to party. Billy stoped for a quick moment alone.

"You really are the best girl ever." He smiled. you smiled to giving him a kiss on the lips.

"Now let's get wasted!" He cheered taking you along with him.

"Yeah!"

.........................................................................

Hope you enjoyed!

Fics are gonna be coming out a little slower cause of school plus I'm having writers block. But I will try to get a Halloween fic out by the end of the month!

[a-jynx]

:0 yall are ACTUALLY insane omg- 1,061 of you guys like my stuff??? im so thankful for you all and i hope my future works get as much love <33

also how should we celebrate 1K?? i genuinely have no thought behind it, so if there's something you guys would want to see lemme know !! without further ado; how the DSMP introduce you on stream; [dream team + others]

~~~~

Dream; - this mf doesn't have a face-cam but he does have a mic, so chat 100% heard you come in laughing about a TikTok - "babe-" - he's never jumped so high or muted himself so quickly, but chat was already flying with questions and you couldn't help but feel relief as you guys had been dating for months and you could keep it a secret for so long... - "do you want to come out about our relationship? i don't want you to be bombarded with questions and shit," "we'd have to tell them sometime, bubs," - after getting your approval, he'd unmute and start to introduce you; "okay, chat, uh... Yes, someone came in, yes they called me babe, and yes i am dating someone - sorry simps - this is Y/N, my partner, and I want you guys to show them love and respect since I love them-" "more than George?" - dream glared at you before rolling his eyes, mumbling "you're an idiot" under his breath - oh, and let's just say you guys were trending for a few days <3

Sapnap; - it was definitely during his shock stream (yes, im holding onto the stream for as long as i live) - he forgot to tell you - which doesn't seem possible, but he was busy trying to get dream to fix up the shock collar - "hey bubs what're you-" - once again he's never jumped that high before but he whipped around and stared at you, as you stared back at him before slowly - trying - to lower your voice - "you're streaming-" "i've been streaming for the past hour - how have you not heard me?!" "i've been gone, dickhead!" his mic definitely picked up all of that and there will be clips all over TikTok, so have fun finding those on your fyp ! - he would pause everything before stepping to the side, holding you and whispering (he remembered to mute) - "do you wanna meet them? i know my chat's already freaking out" "you do have some crazy fans babe.. but what's the harm in getting it done..?" -he brought you over, holding you in his lap, and began to answer all of the questions flying in 'how long have you been dating?' 'did you both move in with dream?' 'do we know them somehow??' a lot of questions that lowkey took over the stream but Sap was thankful - dream was being a dick with the cheap jumpscares - "i think that went well," and would you look at that? trendinggg~

George; - that little door that's always closed?? yeah, you opened it and came from there - you lowkey scared the shit out of him since he just saw it from the corner of his eye - "oh my god, Y/N what the hell-" - ayo this boy would actually yell at you to get out or something, but we both know you won't <3 -"okay, rude, i literally came to ask what you wanted to get for dinner" "yeah, and I'm streaming???" "yeah, i know, i can see that- oh you're streaming..." - you both would just stare at each other and would be so confused on what to do - i mean, they've seen you but like... are you guys ready to put your relationship out there? - George would end the stream, not bothering with a goodbye or anything since this was a big thing for you guys - and after discussing it over some take-out, you guys both posted a couple photos on both of your Twitters :)

Quackity; - o m g; he'd just laugh because you looked terrified but then he'd mute and step aside to hug you - he wouldn't know what to do at first; he obviously comforted you first but he had no real idea of how to approach this since he wanted to keep at least a little bit of his life hidden - would ignore it; donos turned off, any questions in bits he skipped over, and of course any questions in chat he ignored - he wouldn't want to pressure you into showing off your relationship when you both agreed to keep it out of your social media lives - ofc the questions would get a lot and if the fans found your socials, they'd spam you asking - finally, Q posted a photo on his Instagram story with him pressing a long kiss to your cheek with the caption 'mi vida'

Wilbur; - he'd watch you come in from his camera - definitely was too late for him to be streaming </3 - "hello, love bug.. did I wake you?" pls he'd be so sweet about accidentally waking you or something before turning his chair towards you, opening his arms - cradling you close, he'd go back to his stream, ignoring the flying by questions, going back to what the conversation was about until he pressed a few kisses to your hair, rubbing his thumb against your shoulder - "yes, chat, this is my significant other, and you can see they're sleepy, so it's going to be a bit quieter," - would ask for screenshots and clips because a) you'd been wanting a new home screen b) he knew you looked cute c) he wanted to gush about you and now was a perfect time- - "oh, chat, that reminds me of the time Y/N did-" and would tell the story; bragging about you came easy to that simp

Karl; - it 100% would be because you wanted to join </3 - probably during a JackBox game with his friends, and they looked like they were having fun - plus Karl mentioned wanting to come forward with your relationship when he noticed that everyone kept pointing out how all of Mr. Beast crew had significant others - his face would literally go :0 to :D so quickly because he noticed it was you - "baby?? did you need something??" "yeah, i wanna join :((" - his heart would explode because of perfect timing?? - "perfect ! Chat, this is-" he'd paused and pull you into the cameras' view with a giggle and pressing small kisses to your cheek as you laughed as well, slouching into his chest as he tried to read chat "this is my lovely, adorable partner Y/N!! - you'd laugh and wave before he unmuted in-game and announced you were wanting to play, which everyone agreed because you were so sweet?? and your answers were top-notch like omg

~~~~

hello, helloooo~

exciting news, i got a new job !! i went shadowing and paperwork today, so my first official day is Monday, so posts will be a little slower as I am now working full-time! I will try and get more stuff out and I hope it still gets all the love <3

Until tomorrow, I hope you have a beautiful day ~ J

[plush-rabbit]

Late Night Talks

Request: Hey! I hope you’re well sweetheart! I have a request, so I’m the youngest of my family (unfortunately) and a lot of the time I’m unheard and dismissed because of this, ngl I don’t have the best relationship with my family so it’s hard to connect with them, or talk to them. I kinda feel like white noise ya know? So Compress, Twice, and Dabi are my closest comfort characters. So how about them suddenly seeing the reader (probably late at night) talk about the things they enjoy with just stars in their eyes. It’s a harsh comparison to how they act during the day, it’s still them, but it’s just more raw.

🙇‍♀️

thank ya babes

A/N: I hope that you like this, I’m not sure what the harsh comparison was supposed to be but Im guessing it was supposed to be more reserved? (also babes, feel free to gush here, i love talking to yall)

-

Bubaigawara Jin:

Jin’s need for interaction and want for friendship makes him the perfect partner to talk to. He loves talking to you, his legs bouncing and hands flapping as he mentions something that he likes. Sitting beside you, he does most of the talking, how energy out matched and while he does talk, he also looks to you for commentary, wanting to remember that he isn’t alone. There are rare instances when you two are alone that you’ll talk more. The roles will be reversed and you’re talking about anything and everything, smiling at him and for the moment when your eyes lock, he feels the weight on his shoulders lift.

It’s not uncommon to find the villian and you in a single room together at night, often the words will travel the halls and you have to muffle your laughter. This night is one of those- he’s in your room at night, resting beside you as you talk about this new thing that you’re into. You’re eager, shifting in your seat, a bowl of popcorn nearing the end of the bowl, kernels accidentally grabbed at. You’ve grown so excited, your words tripping over each other as you try to find a way to make yourself comfortable all while he stares at you. You’re processing the words fast, trying to tell the story in a cohesive way but with your excitement you are unable to. You look at him with wide eyes and a grin that can nearly blind him.

You’re different at night. He’s unsure whether because your mind has grown groggy with sleep or if it’s because the likelihood of someone interrupting the both of you has lowered, but you’re different. You’re much more prone to touch- you reach for him and you playfully push at his shoulder, your tongue stuck between your teeth as you give him a coy grin. Perhaps it's due to you being so touchy, that he grows bolder with his movements, grabbing your hand and playing with it as you continue to speak, the bite to his words softening whenever you tease at him.

If it were up to him, he would listen to you for hours on end, locking the door and making sure that you two could just talk until time ran out. But, he knows that that’s impossible, so he lays down on your bed, his head resting on his palm as his elbow digs into your pillow. You’re much different to him when the dim lighting is all that illuminates the room, your hair holding a soft glow, the features on your face almost softer and he’s unsure whether it’s exhaustion that grips at him or something else, but he wants to stay awake, he wants to listen to you every night. You mean a great deal to him and he wants to hear you speak, will take every word and keep the important ones so he knows what you like and what to do.

Despite being tired, he wants to continue talking to you, hearing you talk but the night continues to go on, the sky turning a softer shade of blue, and your words are starting to drift. Jin will take over at that point, laying beside you, talking as you start to drift. He mentions things that you said, making a point to mention that you were the one who came up with that observation and talk about how that really stuck out to him. You voice continues, your words growing softer and your gaze on him now barely peeking between your lashes and yet, he is unable to tell you to go to sleep. It’s selfish of him, but he wants to hear you talk until you’re whispering your words into a single breath. The next day, when you can barely keep your eyes up and you’re talking to him, he’ll have an inside joke, your grin widening as you take joy that he listened to you. Under the table, his knee nudges against yours, his smile ever growing when you return the gesture.

Dabi:

Dabi enjoys hearing you talk- it’s soothing for him, something where he’s able to rest his head on your lap and have you play with his hair as he listens to you gush about whatever it is that you like. However, while he does so, he realizes that he has a habit of falling asleep on your lap. It isn’t because you’re boring, you’re just nice to listen to. Laying with you and hearing you talk is one of the few times where he’s at peace, safe in your arms and touched gently. However, he’s noticed the implications of it, noticing that you don’t talk as much as you did. His piercings are warm as they press against his palms, his eyes half-lidded as he tries to figure out a way to make it up to you or to show you that he does actually care for what you have to say.

Unable to sleep, he arises from his bed, walking towards the living area trying to find some sort of sleeping aid. Instead of sleeping aids, he finds you curled up on the couch, the screen of your phone lighting across your face. You give him a smile as a greeting, your focus returning to your show. He can see heavy bags under your eyes- you’re forcing yourself to stay awake. The couch is soft under him, his arms spread as he turns his gaze over to your show. Without a word, you align your phone to make sure that he’s watching it, your words are whispered as you explain the plot and the characters but as you continue to do so, your words excite and your volume raises gradually.

The night is somewhat young and as far as he knows, there’s no mission that he has tomorrow. He has to fix his past mistakes and he wants to hear you talk. He pushes more, asking about the relationships between the characters and even wanting you to restart the series from the first episode- if you want to, of course. When you do so, he makes himself comfortable on the couch, stealing your blanket and laying down, offering for you to sit close to him in a much more relaxed manner. He covers the both of you with the blanket, his arm stretched behind your back and hand resting on your shoulder.

In between episodes, you start to muse once more, ranging from the metaphors to your favorite lines, and to the designs that you like. Your legs bounce, shaking as you try to contain your excitement despite it being written all over you. He gives you his full attention, nodding his head along as you ramble. Your words are rapid, your expression focused entirely on him and he wonders if you’ve always been hiding all this excitement. You’re much more animated, moving your hands and arms, shifting as you speak and there’s a certain tone to your voice that makes him unable to look away.

Every word of yours is coated in sugar and honey, and he clings to it, nodding along and looking at you with half-lidded eyes, unable to wipe the soft smile off of his face. The show is forgotten, your phone now showing him pictures from different stills and you’re much more relaxed, leaning against him, your head pressed against his side. You have a wide smile, your eyes shining with stars as when you look up to smile at him, he returns it as all air escapes his lungs. Once Dabi can properly think, he enters the conversation, offering more than soft hums and words of interest. At night, he can see your smile, the way that you look at him with wide eyes, the giddiness in your voice is enough to wake up from his growing slumber. He could fall asleep listening to you, but he doesn't want to miss how you look when it’s just you and him.

Sako Atsuhiro:

Atsuhiro adores hearing you talk. He’s rather eccentric, always wanting for the spotlight to be on him, but when you talk, he doesn’t mind being the one entranced by you. He wants to hear you talk, to see the light in your eyes. Yet, he can tell you’re holding yourself back- you play with your hands, tug at the ends of your hair, and laugh nervously as you apologize, telling him that you didn’t mean to talk for so long. While it’s true that you might talk over people, he knows it’s because of how excited you are, willing to share whatever is on your mind before the thought fades.

It’s a late night for him, phantom pains that make it unable for him to sleep and even with the medication acting as a placebo, he’s unable to truly find peace. He finds you in the kitchen, mumbling to yourself as you prepare a late night snack. He knocks against the wooden wall in an attempt to announce himself before startling you but you still jump, turning around with wide eyes and a parted mouth, before relaxing once you take notice that it’s just him. When you ask why he’s up so late, he gestures to his arm, making a strained face as his hand clamps around the residual limb, the pain sharp as it shoots up into his shoulder. He asks what you were muttering about and when you turn your head, your lips pulled into a straight line as you’re clearly flustered at having been caught, he laughs, telling you to tell him- to get his mind off of the pain.

You start off slow, mumbling between words and telling him about a new thing that you like. Your words increasingly start to grow with confidence, your eyes on him as you share your late night snack. He listens to you, nodding along and saving the best piece of the snack for you, his chewing trying to be quiet so as to not interrupt your words. While he also wants to start to talk about one of his hobbies, he much rather listen to you. When you do take a bite, he asks his questions, encouraging you to continue talking, his arm resting against the table and he leans towards you, eager to grasp at every word that leaves past your mouth.

Stars are in your eyes, your tone softer and you go to hold his hand, your thumb, index and middle finger hooking over his middle and ring finger, your eyes wide and smile whimsical as you talk. Under the bare light of the kitchen, you’re softer, your eyes shadowed and your touch gentle as you begin to toy with his hand. You’re passionate about what you talk, and he wonders if when you look so eager, and so full of life, if it’s only something that you show to whoever catches you at night, to someone who can glimpse a version of you so real that he’s almost at a loss for breath.

Sleep gnaws at him, but he is unwilling to do so. His pain is gone, replaced with a dull ache that he knows he can sleep off, but he has stars in his eyes as he listens to you talk. Your voice is soothing, your laugh like a lullaby that only pulls him in further to you. His hand is warm, hispalm tickled by your nails and the snack now lays forgotten on the plate. He almost feels bad for wasting food, but he doesn’t have the will to pull his hand away and finish the food that you prepared. Every word that you speak only makes Atsuhiro want to smile, to lay on his bed and think about you and how you spoke to him. You talk, and he’d do anything to keep your voice memorized, to stay awake long when you've fallen asleep just to remember how your voice lilts when you start to get excited or how it drops during a serious part as if you were telling him a secret.

[unlikelyempathpruneauthor]

Always and forever

summary: Fans see you and Calum cuddled together in a video and they wonder who the mystery girl is.

a/n: the video they posted of all of them in their studio “announcing” the fifth album. Also I love how Michael announced they're making an album just like that haha. Also I'm writing this as if the pandemic wasn't even a thing because it's more fun that way haha, also reader is known by hanging out with Sierra and the guys. This is my first calum fic so feedback is always acceptable

You and the girls were all invited to come to the guy’s studio to check out and see them make the beginning of their new album, you were so excited for them and you and the girls would be standing behind them and supporting them on the new album.

You were getting ready while Cal waited for you downstairs, you didn't dress up that much, you only wore one of Cal's hoodies and a pair of jeans. You knew you were gonna be there for a while so you were gonna dress comfortably. You always liked seeing cal do his thing, you admired how passionate he was when it came to his work. As you walked down the stairs you noticed Cal was laying on the couch looking at his phone so you joined him as he took you in his arms.

“Are you ready to go?” he said as you looked up at him and nodded.

“Yeah I am, I'm excited for you guys.” you said with a smile as he pulled you in for a kiss.

“Thank that means a lot, I'm glad I have you here with me, I mean you are my inspiration after all.” he said you giggled and he pulled you in for a small cuddle.

“You know i'll always be here for you, always.” you said muffled as you two cuddled on the couch before leaving your place.

You were one of the many people Calum cared for, he always thought that he would never fall in love again, but with you it was different, he was able to be more than himself when you were with him. You allowed his mind to be open with you. To even add more to this story, you thought you wouldn't love again as well, you were heartbroken so many times as well, and well when you met cal, you two probably fell in love with one another the first time you two laid eyes on one another. You two met as if you were normal people, well you were introduced by Luke’s girlfriend, but nonetheless you met as normal people.

As you arrived you hung out with Sierra, while the boys were doing their warm up and a little while after KayKay and Crystal showed up and the gang was pretty much there.You and the girls were always here to support your guys, it was practically tradition, but this was a nice thing to do, since not everyday you see everyone. As much as you missed the boys you missed your girls. 

The cameras then started to roll for a small announcement for the fans to see, it wasn't official yet, but the guys wanted to place a nice presence in the video for the fans to guess what they were up to. Which is why you chose the traditional hoodie and jeans because you knew fans would assume its you and you hoped this disguise worked since you and cal haven't gone official, or so you thought.

When the boys were kinda stuck they called a break the guys all went to their gals and cal walked over to your on the couch and cuddled you as you kissed him. “How's it going rockstar?” you asked as he looked over at you with a smile as he placed a kiss on your lips and he got comfortable with you.

“Pretty good, got some good lyrics in and a couple of new tunes.” he said as he moved to be the little spoon and he took his beanie off so you could play with his hair, this was one of the many things he likes when he needed inspiration or relax, mainly both but you were happy to do so. “Hey, that's good bubs, I'm happy it's going well, I'm proud of you.” you said he looked at you in awe and just couldn't believe how lucky he was.

For him he always found inspiration for lyrics in moments like these. No matter how small or big the moments were, there was always some sort of feeling he felt, it was more than love. He never felt this way ever in his life before, he knew he would follow you everywhere and you would do the same.

“Im making another song about you,” cal said as you looked down at him again, you loved that he made you songs, but you knew his fans would probably like to hear different songs. “Cal you don't have to, you should focus on what your fans like.” you said as he looked up at you with a pout, “babe, the fans would love you once they know, and besides its pretty official, the boys love it.” he said as you giggled, “Don't worry about that love, besides my fans probably like you more than me and they don't even know yet.” he said as you two laughed a little and your cuddle sesh continued before he had to go back in.

After a couple more hours of the boys working and you guys getting to listen to some of the music they had come up with, you were very excited to hear the final cut. You were proud of the progress they all made, you knew the final cut would turn out great.

You all said their goodbyes and hopped to see them again for another meet up session. You and Cal went home and did your normal night routine, you would watch another movie or a couple episodes of a show you were currently watching. Then you would eat some dinner, you either made something small or you ordered some food. After you eat you would head up to your shared room and do your skincare, you two always loved doing it together, especially sheet face masks, those were your favorite and he always had a couple pictures of you two, but mainly you.

This was pretty much “normal” about your lives, and he cherished them everyday, especially when he was away on tour, he would always look back at your silly pictures together and remember that you were always going to be there waiting for him. You missed him as well when he was away and you were grateful you had a part of him, which was duke, you would take him on walks and little small picnic dates which you later showed cal, which he loved how you would take care of him while he was away. He was practically your son, but you didn't know that was your title, it was a secret between cal and duke.

As the morning hit you woke up with cal’s arms around you as you looked over at him seeing his sleepy self. You knew that these sessions took up a lot of energy internally since he was creating music for everyone to hear. You enjoyed seeing him sleeping peacefully. You snuggled closer to him as you kissed his jaw and he started to wake up a little.

“Good morning love” he said with his morning voice as you two kissed one another, “Good morning, how'd you sleep bubs?” you said as duke had climbed in between you too as you kissed duke, “pretty good as usual i had you in my arms.” he said as you looked up to him with a smile.

The first night you two spent the night together, you both fell asleep instantly, the things that were planned for the rest of the night had been swiped away, but you two enjoyed being with one another even if you were just sleeping. You two helped one another sleep, you couldn't remember the last time you actually had a good night's sleep. When calum was away, he couldn't sleep and he would be so tired when he would come home, which he felt bad for because he wanted to spend the day with you, but you always insisted on him to rest and that you would be by his side when he woke up since you too were tired and needed him by your side.

As you were eating breakfast, the video their team worked on was posted, it was very simple, nothing too complex about it. Cal knew his team was amazing so he was gonna wait to see it once it was posted by one of the guys.

His phone then started to blow up, first it was twitter, then it was instagram. Your phone then too started to ring. You both looked at one another with a quite confused look, cal picked his phone up and then he saw the video that his team posted, it looked so good to him, but when he went to the comments, he saw people were tagging you as you were seeing that as well on your phone.

@5sosforever3CALM: OMG thats literally @y/n! OMG OMG

@5sosupdates: CAL HAS A GIRL, SIERRA PROBABLY GOT THEM TOGETHER

@lukemikeycalash: HOLD UP IS THAT @y/n????

@caldreams: YALL REALLY OUT HERE POSTING THIS WITH NO CONTEXT

He went back to the video and looked at it closely, and there was a clip of the two of you on the couch having your small moment. Your face wasn't clear to the camera, but how did they know? Your hair was showing and your nose, but how could they get that from one clip? He looked at his tagged photos and saw that they were comparing you side to side with your side profile.

“Oh no, our fans are literally FBI agents, how did they get that from one picture?” Cal said as you giggled, then saw Luke's contact appear and you answered it.

“Hey.” you said with a giggled, “hey, have you seen the comments?” he asked as cal answered, “yeah we saw, but how do they know it's her?” he said as those two kept going back and forth. “So should i ask out team to delete it?” he asked as you shook your head, “Luke it's fine, i'm not that bothered, doing nothing will just let them make up other theories.” you said as you were calm the outside, but you were freaking out on  the inside.

“Are you sure?” cal asked as you nodded, “yeah i am, as long as you're okay with it.” you said as he nodded and you said goodbye to luke and you two continued your breakfast.

You sat on the couch after breakfast and did your normal thing, you knew Cal was freaking out because he was still on his phone trying to see if the fans were coming up with new theories, but no they were stuck on it. He was freaking out because he wanted you to feel comfortable, you both agreed on keeping your relationship private, but you knew once it was out of the bag people would find out.

“Cal, if you want we can announce it officially.” you said as he looked over at you with a smile. He had been wanting to go official years back, but he respected you and well he liked keeping your relationship private, since most things in his life were already out there. He wanted something serious with you and he wanted this to do it right.

“Really? Are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured because the fans are figuring it out.” he said as you nodded, “yes cal, besides you looked stressed out, we've been together for 5 years and besides like you said hopefully they'll like me.” you said as he shook his head, “no they're going to love you as much as i love you.” he said as the both of you had pulled up pictures of the two of you and captioned it, “Alright done, ready?” he asked as you nodded,“3...2….1!” he said as you both posted the pictures and you had turned off your phones. You knew it would be blowing up in minutes, so today was going to be spent with one another. 

The next morning you woke up by a duke who had climbed into the bed as you saw Cal was missing, he probably had gotten up to make breakfast,“Hey duke, where's your dad huh.” you said as you held him in your arms as you walked towards the kitchen where cal had been preparing the table for you guys to eat. “Hey rockstar, what's this for?” you asked as you placed duke down and cal placed his hands on your jaw and you moved in to a kiss, as you smiled through it.

“Just wanted to make my lady some breakfast.” he said as you saw him being all cheeky and you grinned at him, almost making him blush, “Well this is nice, does it have to do with what we did yesterday?” you said as he nodded with a slight grin,“Depends on what you’re talking about” he asked as he smirked at you slapped his arm playfully. You two had gotten in the mood and well it's probably best to keep it a secret.

“Cal! Not in front of duke.” you said as you two laughed and nodded, “well i liked what we did after the post, but yeah the fans reacted well.” he said as you smiled seeing him so happy, “I'm glad, wait what picture did you post?” you asked as you got your phone and clicked on instagram, “just a couple of us and one of duke,” he said as you nodded and looked through. The first one was of the two of you two on your first date, which was one of the many dates you had after going out, but this one was your first date as boyfriend and girlfriend. The second one was a picture of the two of you asleep on the tour bus, when you had tagged along with them since you had free time saved up and cal loved that you were there, he was able to see you everyday, even when he was preforming and you were in the crowd.

“Where did you get that one of us on the bus?” you asked in awe of that picture, “the guys took it after the show and they later sent it to me,” he said with a smile as you swiped to the next photo. This was a picture of you when Cal and the guys were nominated for an award and even won and he brought it home to you and took a silly picture with the award. the next one was the first night you spent together and you were doing sheet face masks, that's how it all got started. And the last one was a picture of you and duke when you first met, duke was all over you and was happy to finally meet you. You remembered all of these moments clearly, they were moments you cherished the most. You then looked at the caption and cal had seen your eyes trailing the text waiting to see you reaction.

@calumhood: i guess you guys figured it out, so here it is. This is my soulmate, my person and Duke's mom. I never thought i would love again, but the day i met her i was already falling for her and well she's the best thing that has ever happened to me and of course our pup Duke. The day she came into mine and duke’s life we were blessed. She inspires me to be a better person and artist everyday and is the inspiration to all of the music I write for the band, so you can thank her for our records. She is one of the many people I love in life and I hope you can love her the same way I do. Duke and I  love you forever and always. @y/n <3

You looked up at him with small tears in your eyes and a smile. He looked over at you and saw you were crying as he was worried he didn't expect you to cry.

“Hey, you okay? What's wrong? Did someone say something?” he asked as you nodded, “yeah you did,” you said with a smile showing him the caption he wrote and he smiled and gave you a hug. You then cut your moment short and looked at Duke and back at him,“I'm Duke's mom?” you asked as he looked at you in awe and nodded, “yeah of course you are, you always were, probably since the first day you spent the night. He was pretty bummed out after you left.” he said as he remembered that day his pup was missing their favorite girl.

“Aw cal, all i wrote in the caption was a heart,” you said as he shook his head, “love, you show me everyday how much you love me, especially when we were away, this was my way to show you as well, but i'm not stopping there, i will show you everyday how much you mean to duke and i, but especially me. I meant what I said, forever and always.”  he said as you kissed him and duke had wanted some in on this moment.

You two who never believed in soulmates or even love yet you both found it again. The love you two have was something you couldn't describe with words. It was out of this universe to be quite frank with you. You were soulmates lost, and once found, you were happy with one another, your love was strong, any other couple would have broken up when their significant other was away, but the both of you were different. Different but perfect for one another. Cal knew that once you were in his life he would do his very best to keep you in his life forever and always.

[organic-guacamole]

showtime

episode 211 let's go

ok first of all, this is the second to last episode guys... I don't even wanna think about how much pain I'll be in after next week's episode

mr mazzara doing the recap-

this is so weird to me and I don't know why

WHY DIDN'T YALL JUST ASK BENJAMIN FOR HELP, THATS LITERALLY HIS THING

is Nini giving out the cards a callback to season 1 when Natalie Bagley said that Nini gave her a card or something on opening night of another musical?

STEPHY AS THE ENCHANTRESS OMG YES

Ricky in the crown gives me Harry styles in that photoshoot vibes

he's so pretty.

ok but why did we never see Ricky and Ashlyn interact before? it's been like 5 seconds and I already love how they bounce off each other and it's just so natural

OH THEY REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY UNDERSTUDIES-

well that explains a lot...

so Ricky fell on top of Ashlyn and all that broke for both of them was their wrist-

insert Jake Peralta *coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool no doubt no doubt no doubt*

of course howie was amazing as the beast, were we expecting anything less??

Ricky is so beautiful and I will not shut up about it....

let me enjoy this before the makeup crew slaps mud on his face.

Nini and Ricky talking to eachother? in a civil manner? wasn't she avoiding him just in the last episode? hm ok

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THEY CANT EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS JUST LIKE ME HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS, WHATS NEXT? THEY CUT EVERYONE OFF CUZ THEY CANT HANDLE EMOTIONS? ...ha

yes Kaden and Rico, my favourite east high boys 🥰

I mean....where's EJ?

THERE HE IS

EJ AND GINA IN THE BACKGROUND... doing something idek

KOURTNEY'S MOM IS BACK YAY

Howie is a shining star, ofc ofc

the smallest fOrk

can't wait to see the fork burst into song about how she deserves more than to be used to eat salad😌

the duster and the bluster.... ok😃

hi Gina!

hi- oh wow I didn't know Robbie Rotten was in this show!!!!!

the portwell look.

that my friends, is a married couple's look✋

GOSH EJ WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU

aww Gina's so excited for this

D word?

Die?

Delicious?

Dom Toretto?

"good, clean fun all alone with someone I dig...a lot"

sir that does not sound very clean to me

SEBLOS

Seb looks so cute standing there next to pope Carlos

DID THEYEY REALLY LIGHT ANTOINE ON FIRE-

I NEED TO SEE THAT

Seb's reading Carlos better than big red read the script in episode 102, this is great development after the "fight"

Kourtney really just made the best outfit for herself and let the rest of them suffer

the way Gina immediately goes to hold on to EJ after the announcement

"tonight we're going to put the U in UTAH"

...

"hey where are you from?"

"TAH"

SEB'S SINGULAR CLAP KILLED ME-

he's officially salt lake city's resident thanos

just wity clapping because for some reason I have a feeling he doesn't know how to snap his fingers...don't ask why

Ms Jenn do you mind encouraging your leads before the show? idk just an idea

pepto bismol product placement smhsmh

those flowers are bigger that big red himself-

*bops along to the opening theme*

that whistle at the end slaps everytime

WHY IS THE AUDIENCE SO MASSIVE

I guess they're all here to see Ms Jenn go on as a fork after Nini decides to *go her own way*

wow i am so funny

so they couldn't do many group scenes cuz of covid, but this 300 person crowd is cool? nice

OO THE VIOLIN GIRL FROM EPISODE 6 IS IN THE ORCHESTRA

HOWIEEEEEE

"Mr Caswell", he said, in the loudest voice possible while backstage at a show that's about to start.

Mazzara what are you trying to pull-

I usually like Benjamin but I don't like his tone

"iS yOuR wHoLe FaMiLy HeRe?" LIKE YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW THATS A SOFT SPOT FOR EJ

"we've had some good conversations these past few weeks"

right so what's going to happen after you graduate?

what does he think of you not going to Duke?

what did he say about you giving the sweatshirt that's been in the family for 3 generations to a girl you're not even dating?

good old Mr. M

therapist Mr. Mazzara, they all need it.

start with Ricky though.

"Michael Bowen"

dude why did you shave, now you look less like "hot lumberjack" and more "creep at the gas station"

OH-

does she not like Mike anymore?

why does it sound like jennzzara started dating and now they just sit back and talk smack about everyone in their freetime

break the fourth wall-

uhhhh im scared

why am I scared

he's scary

hehe flowers for Ricky, obviously for Ricky, ObViOuSLY

oh boy poor Michael

this man is in love, rip

why does Ms Jenn always look at people with her eyes open so wide

LILYYYY

I'm only excited because I really like the idea of lily and Ricky being friends, nothing more.

ha this guy's got jokes

a MOAT AROUND THE SCHOOL

wheeze

also he's very pretty.

"the wolves and very talented humans"

how dare he forget to mention the very talented wolves and normal humans, smh erasure

"being nice, what a concept" ted talk by Lily who still doesn't have a last name

did she just say lol out loud

same with the hug emoji last episode-

go touch some grass babes

the way he didn't say no, but said he didn't know how the east high kids would react-

not saying he does want to date her but that's an interesting thing to think about, also another thing to write an essay analysis on just to leave it in my drafts for a few months

awww lily genuinely trying to help him

sorry guys, I've been taken by the Lily charm (didn't know it existed until now but oh well)

REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I'LL NEVER SHIP PORTWELL?

just look at me now

the Lily wink I can't she's so cute-

HELP ME I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY LIL-

David Attenborough?

oh nvm it's Benjamin narrating the show in a really weird British accent for some reason.

STEPHY GOT MORE LINES YAY GOOD FOR HER

also is this to show that Nini doesn't care about being the star of the show anymore? the way she's supporting everyone else even though she's a fork?

I would pay for a special of the full musical ngl

OOO THE TRANSFORMATION WAS SMOOTH

shockingly

yo where did the makeup come from

man I wish I was a theatre kid

THIS IS STEPHY'S EPISODE NOW IDC✋

my girl is starring

"needs an X-factor"

Simon Cowbell creeps in

"it's a yes from me"

and them boom, he takes Nini and mistreats her horribly and then she comes back to theatre after deciding music isn't for her👍

"I thought she just hog-tied him?"

don't ask sebby, it's better if you don't know.

imagine they spotlight the wrong person and this dude is just some random person that likes writing down stuff during shows.

Ms Jenn just let them do what they rehearsed (at some point we never saw) or else this is gonna end horribly wrong

"help"

same Carlos, same

I love how seb is just his translator rn

I thought he said "great displeasure" instead of "greatest pleasure"....help?

big red coming out from throwing up to see his girlfriend star is the cutest thing in this show.

Ash and Gina dancing is so fun

I'm imagining them practicing at night at their home, watching the movie for the 100th time and making sure their one dance together is perfect

KOURTNEY YES

HOWIE IS IN LOVE AHHHH

I LOVE HOWIE SO MUCH

SEBBY

THIS SCENE HAS SO MUCH GOING ON I CAN'T KEEP UP

THIS IS SO GOOD

HOW???

no because I'm actually crying

I'm dead serious.

we need this musical released as a special

big red is so proud and I love to see it

Natalie: "if you do not by at least 20 dollars in concessions, you do not support art"

rando in the audience: "but I pay for ad free Spotify"

Mr Mazzara clapping in the distance

Gigi, the guy you like is talking to you, complimenting you and hyping you up

YOU LUCKY LITTLE FEATHER DUSTER

aw EJ teasing her about the chocolates in a way that doesn't make her feel bad? take notes Richard

JORDAN FISHER

there is no rest of the show idc Jordan is it for me

THE WIG CAP ON RICKY OMG

they look like they're high and having "deep" conversations on the floor

THE MEAN GIRL WITH THE EYES-

@sunshine-julie-molina YOU HEAR THAT

Natalie really just be coming for them all

Howie what is happening rn

I'm scared

"did you enjoy it"

"very much"

dude wants a kiss so bad

ASHLYN OMG

NO DON'T DO IT BECAUSE OF LILY, PUT YOUR OWN TWIST ON IT

I want a Jordan autograph please

just keep swim- oh pushing...

Gina is literally a giant next to him and I live for it

am I about to cry for the 3rd time in this episode?

yes.

Ricky's leg kicks under the table makes me so happy aw

the portwell glances will kill me.

ah yes, mashed potato snow

Mr. M.... I'm not a theatre kid but even I know you can't have your phone on backstage.

Howie please just do it

CHIP'S BIG LINE I CANT

I LITERALLY HAD TO PAUSE IT AMD SCREAM INTO MY MASK FOR A SOLID 2 MINUTES (I'm not at home rn) HES SO CUTE

oh ok bye Jordan

oo tea

NOT HIM BEING STARSTRUCK BECAUSE HE'S MEETING HIS FUTURE BROTHER IN LAW-

"we're all just glad Gigi has a big brother figure in her life"

excuse me for a few thousand hours while I laugh hysterically

THE CAMERA ZOOM ON EJS FACE AND EVERYTHING-

STOP EJ LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA CRY BUT I CAN'T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY WITH THE STAGE MAKE-UP

someone else said this already but I think it's hilarious that they had to bring in 2 guest characters to create some portwell angst

omg this really is Cici's episode, found family is their thing

elevator music lol

I'm gonna bet that big red took the harness for his surprise for Ashlyn without realising what it was

did Ms. Jenn just....tell her most mentally unstable student....to commit suicide....on a disney show...was that....I'm very....well....what the actual-

oh and there she goes running off instead of trying to make it right

oh wow Nini's the hero, she's gonna save the show 🤩

😐

the judge is doing a sudoku

honestly if I went to the hsm show as well, I'd come prepared for this one too

Lily why are you looking like that-

I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE YOU DON'T MESS THIS UP

wow ok, there goes that.

omg

what if Howie was acting weird because he knew what Lily did and wanted to tell Kourtbut Lily threatened him so he was scared to-

anyways see y'all clowns next week when we all simultaneously lose all motivation for the week without Fridays to look forward to.

[outofsstyles]

So much for summer love and saying “us”

a/n: hola! this is my very late fic for @helladirections’s Summer Feeling Challenge!! My prompts were beach + summer rain so yeah! If yall know me you know I could not have miss Taylor release a whole album and not get inspired by it (for this piece particularly it was the song August) so yup this is it. Anyway no more rambling, let me know what you think :)

Word count: 6.8k

Warnings: angsty 🤭

Also this takes part after *this blurb* you don’t have to read it to understand but I do recommend it!!

Salt air, and the warm summer breeze messes with your hair. Your fingers get caught on the knots as you run your hands through it, feeling grains of sand lost in the strands, trying your best to untangle it. Even with your attempt to restrain your locks, some still manage to dance along with the wind, whipping in your face in the process, and taking your attention out of the open book resting on your thighs.

With a huff, you pull up your sunglasses from where it rests on your nose, holding your hair back as you use it in a last attempt to repress it. Looking up, now without the darkened vision due to the lenses, you realize the weather has toned down considerably. You pick your phone from where it rests under your legs, pressing the lock button just to check the time and you realize it’s been almost eight hours since everyone first strolled down from the house and settled on the mild pale sand.

Not long ago, the sun was shining proudly in the clear blue sky. It wasn’t as hot as it had been around lunchtime, when you went up to the house to fetch the sandwiches you and Mary made for everyone, almost burning your feet on the heated cobblestone in the process. Instead, it was like a warm hug, a nice contrast to your cooled skin from when you and the rest of the group went out for a swim.

Now, however, the sky was painted in a grayer tone. The sun hiding behind the clouds, no longer shimmering on your skin, reminding you of the rapid approach of summertime.

No else seems to notice (or care) about the change in the weather, really. Maya still reading her book on her beach towel set next to yours, lying on her belly as she flicks through the pages, humming along to the distant song blasting through the speaker. The boys were playing volleyball not too far from where you two lie -- well, at least the best they could with two people on each side. You look in their direction for the first time in the last hour, letting your urges win as your eyes set on the one person you’d been avoiding for the whole day.

The whole week, actually.

It’s been just about a week since your drunk confession to Harry. When you’d said you loved him with your whole chest right as he was about to press play on Coraline. You still cringe at the memory, especially when you recall his reaction, saying it back in the most calculated voice you’d ever seen him use -- you’ve decided he only said it for your sake, as to not make the moment more embarrassing than you’d already made it. He had promised to talk in the morning, but you feel like you can’t be blamed for running away as soon as your eyes fluttered open, and the events of the night prior hit you like a brick in the face.

You feel a pang of guilt about it, of course, for completely avoiding him like you are. Not like it’s a simple task. You live together after all, but you still managed to do it for a whole week. With your term being over, you fell into a routine of meeting with the girls for breakfast in the mornings and hanging around at their flat until the sun was setting and you had to catch the subway before it got too dark. As soon as you got home you’d lock yourself in your room and fall asleep to an episode of Stranger Things.

It was the easiest way, though. Limiting your interactions to a casual ‘Good morning’ or ‘There are some leftovers in the fridge’. No discussion of feelings. No explanation of your remorseful confession. No putting him in the place of having to reject you. No straining in your friendship.

You just pushed back the pain in your heart that came with having to look at his face twice a day and tried your best to ignore him to the best of your abilities.

That is until you couldn’t anymore.

This summer trip has been planned for months now. Since one of your mutual friends explained he’d have his family’s vacation home to himself all summer at a Christmas dinner and wanted to have everyone over for a week or two. It was exciting, of course, having a two weeks getaway with your group of friends seemed like the perfect idea to start your summer break on the right foot. What you’d never expect was that by the time the trip came along the last you’d want was to be in the same house as Harry without having anywhere else to run to.

Sighing, you gaze back at your forgotten book, your eyes sweeping over the words, not able to fully concentrate on them. And just as you give up, opening your mouth to announce you’re joining Mary in the house, a ball hits the spot just below your feet, making the sand around it jump and a small squeal to leave your lips.

You reach for it, leaning forward to hold it in your hands before looking up at the presence approaching you. It’s hard not to feel the jolt in your heartbeat as you meet his jade eyes, there’s almost a hesitance to his steps as he gets closer. You force a smile to tug on your lips as you hand him the ball, ignoring the electric hush that shoots down your spine when your fingers brush just slightly -- it’s the first time you’ve touched him in a week.

“Thanks.” It comes out rushed and you almost miss it. You think he’ll turn around and join the game again but he lingers for a moment, expecting you to say something.

You simply nod, not sure what to say, and that sends him back to where the rest of the boys are waiting for him. It’s hard not to stare as he walks away, the muscles of his broad back moving with him, skin tanned and a bit reddened around the shoulders. If things were normal, you’d have made him put on sunscreen after going for a swim, knowing how easily he gets sunburnt, and you’d pester him for not listening to you once he asked you to help apply the moisturizer that soothes the pain. You’d smooth your hands on his skin and spread kisses along his neck when he flinches as you rub a sore spot. You’d be mindful not to drag your nails through it once he had you under him, panting his name as his head rests between your thighs.

Looking back down at the cover of The Shining, you shake your head at yourself. Things are not normal, and they probably never will be again.

“I don’t even recognize you two anymore.” Maya’s voice breaks you from your thoughts. She closes her book, setting it down on her towel as she looks up at you from behind her sunglasses.

“What do you mean?” You run your eyes from the stare, choosing to gaze at the ocean instead, noting the way the waves are crashing closer to where you lay than they were in the morning.

“You know what I mean.” She shifts to lie on her back, propping herself up on her elbows. “Ignoring him like this is not the solution you know.”

You sigh, fidgeting with the loose strands at the hem of your towel. “I know.”

“You’re just hurting him.” She presses further, taking her sunglasses off and letting it fall on her stomach.

You look at her, eyes silently begging for her to drop this conversation but you know now that she’s brought it up she won’t let go easily. “Maya--”

“It’s the truth, and you have to hear it.” She sits up fully, turning to face you as she crosses her legs. “How long do you plan to keep going like this? You can’t just avoid him forever.”

“I-- I don’t know.” You say honestly, adjusting your glasses on top of your head nervously as you trow a quick look to his direction, making sure he’s still occupied with the game.

“Talk to him.”

You shake your head. “It’s not that simple.”

“Well, it’s what they say, life is not simple, darling.” She argues, “You’re hurting with this just as much as he is.”

Your shoulders drop, just barely, hating how well she knows you. “But not for the same reasons.”

“Really?” Maya’s voice pitches as she tilts her head. “How so?”

“He doesn’t see me like that.”

“You don’t know that.”

Looking up, you take a deep breath, feeling your throat tightens. “But I do know that, Maya.”

“You don’t.” She says softly, leaning forward to reach for your hand. “He loves you.”

You let out a humorless laugh. “Don’t--”

“It’s true...” She squeezes your hand, shifting closer so she can rest her head on your knee, eyes searching for yours. “You’ve slept with him every single weekend, for... What? The past year?”

“That doesn’t mean anything.” You wipe away a stubborn tear that slides down your cheek. “You don’t love all the men you fuck.”

“Well I don’t live with them, thank god.” She tries to humor, her smile still tender as she rubs her thumb on your hand.  “You two don’t just fuck, you know that, babe.”

You let out an exhale, chewing at your inner cheek as you let the sounds of the waves and the whistle of the wind fill the air between you two. She’s right, even if you hate to admit it, you can’t go like this for much longer. As easy as it is to ignore your feelings, you know they’re still there, and at some point, you’ll have to face them. The longer you wait, the worse it will be. But you can’t help but feel like any chance of fixing it has slipped through your fingers already. Your relationship with Harry - whatever that was - seems so distant now it’s like an image you can see but can’t quite reach. And it’s all your fault.

Maya sighs after a beat too long of silence, squeezing your hand, “Talk to him, please.”

“I--” you start, but you’re interrupted as thin raindrops begin drizzle from the sky.

It’s gentle, a summer rain clearing the warm air that hugs you with cold drops running down your skin. You and Maya jolt up from where you sit, quickly gathering your towels and patting them against your skin to get rid of some of the sand that stuck to it. Thankfully, Mary took the rest of your belongings with her when she went back to the house, so you don’t have to bother with them as you wrap your towel over your head, hugging your book close to your body so it doesn’t get ruined by the droplets of water. You can hear the commotion behind you from the boys as they interrupt the game, but you don’t turn around, only rushing towards the few steps that lead to the house in search of a cover.

The cobblestone is slippery as you jog in the patio barefooted, and you have to mindful as not to slip down and make matters worse to you with a broken back. But you manage to make it to the covered area without any accidents, thankfully, your feet only sliding slightly against the floor. The double glass doors that lead to the living room are slid open, and you can see Mary sitting on the L shaped couch inside, scrolling through her phone.

She peeks up at you when you approach the door, Maya coming not too far behind you. “Leave your dirty towels on the chairs outside, I’ll take care of it tomorrow.”

You do as she says, hanging the towel on one of the rattan chairs arranged in a semi-circle next to you. Mary appears on the doorframe, leaning against it as she crosses her arms under her chest. She’s no longer dressed in her teal bikini set, one you’d complimented as soon as you saw her wearing it. Instead, she’s in some pink pajama shorts, hugging a cream ribbed cardigan close to her body as a rougher strand of wind rips around. Her hair is damp and pushed back behind her ears, you reckon in the short time she was alone in the house she must’ve taken a shower. Which is probably something you should do as well, you think.

Before you can walk inside, though, someone calls you out from behind you. Turning around, you see as the boys approach the house in much less of a hurry you had been in. You find the voice that screamed for you belongs to Declan as he’s leading the rest of them, a taunting smirk painting his face.

“Are you two made of sugar or what?” The words all but stumble out of his mouth and you have to suppress a giggle, he’s probably still drunk from the numerous White Claws they’d consumed throughout the day.

You shake your head. “I’m not trying to get a cold, thank you very much.”

“You’re no fun.” He stops just before entering the covered area, the rain still pouring on his body as he wiggles his hips. “C’mon loosen up a bit.”

You take a step towards him, opening your mouth to bite back but before any word can come out he’s reaching for your arm, drawing you to him. “Declan, no!” You giggle, trying to set yourself free from his grasp but he starts walking backward, pulling you with him. “Stop!”

His other hand that’s not wrapped on your arm is holding the Bluetooth speaker, waving it over his head as he presses his thumb on the volume button, turning it up. Starships starts blasting in the air, blending with the sound of raindrops hitting the ground. You can barely contain your laugh now, wondering how in hell this song even ended up on his playlist. Declan takes the opportunity to fully pull you out in the rain, hugging his arm on your waist and moving his hips along to the beat, bumping it against yours.

He points at Mary who’s still leaning against the door frame, watching the scene with an amused grin.  “I know you love this one.”

“Not a chance Dec.” She calls back from where she stands, earning a loud ‘boo’ from the boy.

His arm doesn’t leave you side as he keeps moving along to the song, his voice slurring the lyrics so loudly next to you it almost swallows the sound coming from the speaker. The drops tickle down your skin, as the rain pours down your body, soaking you as if you’d just dove into the ocean. Your hair is weighing down on your head, and you reach up to push it out of your forehead as you try to follow Declan’s moves but he starts jumping around, making it harder for you.

You watch as Maya decides to join in, skipping to her boyfriend. Looking over your shoulder, you notice the rest of the boys haven’t gone inside and are still standing in the rain, much like Declan. You’re still laughing, almost incredulously, at the scene unfolding in front of you. Seemingly, it’s a clear consequence of the alcohol still very much present in their bloodstreams. But as a sober observer, you can’t help but giggle at the sight of four shirtless men barely keeping their balance as they dance along to Nicki Minaj.

Once the last chorus comes up, Declan unwraps his arm from your waist, reaching for your hand and without much notice spins you around. You stumble on your feet at the sudden move, trying your best to keep yourself from falling down. He doesn’t give you a second to recompose, repeating the move once more, but just as you’re turning around, he lets go of your hand. Without anything to hold on to and keep you steady, your feet slide on the wet stone.

There’s a brief sense of panic that strikes on your body as you feel yourself falling back. But before you can hit the ground, a set of arms catch you, holding on to you a bit awkwardly. You don’t need to look behind you to know who they belong to, the ink hugging his skin being all too familiar to you. Harry’s chest is damp against your back, and his arm is draped around your stomach, the contact of his skin against yours almost burning as you become aware of it.

With his help, you quickly stand back on your feet, untangling yourself from him as soon as you’re on your feet again. Turning around, you don’t miss the way his face is scrunched in a frown, a crease set between his brows and lips tugging downwards. It tugs at your heartstrings, so you give him a small smile. “Thanks.”

“Sure,” he nods.  

For a moment you just look at him, lips parted, feeling as if you should say something else. It’s way too similar to the interaction you had only a few moments ago down at the beach. Or more like all the other interactions you had for the past week, really. His eyes are searching for yours, asking a thousand questions that are left unspoken. Lingering in the air between the two of you. His hand reaches to push back a damp lock of his hair stuck to his forehead, you note how his usually hazelnut strands have taken a darker shade. Much like his tattoos, standing out on his skin, glimmering as the raindrops dance freely down his body.

You know it’s been a beat too long of silence for it to start feel a bit awkward. And can’t help but set a silent prayer for something, anything, to take you out of this situation. You wonder if it would be too bad to just turn around now and pretend nothing happened, pondering if it’s the best decision to run away once again. Thankfully, as if on cue, a thunder roars in the sky, interrupting your thoughts as you squeal, jumping slightly, startled. A chorus of curses follow up from behind you, the rain starting to shower rougher from above.

“Okay that’s enough fun in the rain, everyone back inside now!” Mary screams from her spot, motioning with her hands for everyone to leave the outdoors.

“You must be really fun at parties, sweetheart!” Declan shouts back, you notice he’s managed to go all the way around the pool.

“Unless you’re feeling like getting hit by lightning from dancing next to a pool, I suggest you all come inside now.” She yells with a roll of her eyes, her voice taking a stern tone. “I’m not cleaning up anyone’s body for being stupid.”

He lets out a mischievous laugh, jumping his way around the edge. “Okay, mom.”

The towel scratches on your skin slightly, due to the grains of sand still stuck to it, as you try to dry yourself to the best of your ability. In the background, you can hear whines coming from Maya, complaining about not being able to have a bonfire tonight. You linger long enough to hear someone suggest a movie night instead. But as they begin the discussion of a film choice, you’re soon walking past the double glass door and into the house. Wanting to tuck yourself inside your room as soon as possible.

At this moment you give yourself a mental pat in the back for choosing the only room located downstairs. Regardless of it being the smallest, thus being the easiest one to claim, it was an easy choice for you. Not only you’re the furthest from the other rooms (and being on vacation with a couple, that’s a big pro) but you also have a bathroom all to yourself. Of course, it can barely fit two people inside if it came to it - not that it will - but you don’t mind the narrow space. On top of it all, you’re the closest to the ocean. Meaning that, when you’re drifting to sleep, it’s almost as if the waves are crashing at the end of your bed instead of the cool nightly sand, meters away from where you lay. So soothing you can easily ignore the creak of the wooden steps of the stairs right next to your door every time someone feels like coming down for a midnight snack.

The same creak that you hear as you pace your way on the light oak floor, careful to avoid the rugs that come on your way as to not soak their fabrics. And soon enough, you’re alone in the small space you get to call your own for the week. Away from any potential awkward interactions or silent pleas. The loudest noise filling the air being the raindrops knocking on your windows and your thoughts swallowing you whole.

You don’t rush on your shower. Letting the warm water run through your body in a smooth massage, allowing your muscles to relax as you breathe in the coconut-scented steam surrounding you. It does help to soothe you a little, but the weight in your chest still makes itself present.

Leaving the bathroom hugged in your comfiest set of pajamas, you make your way out of the room. As you enter the living area, you notice Mary sitting alone in the same spot she was on the couch, leaning back on the cushions and scrolling on her phone. Her eyes peak up once you approach her, letting the device fall to her chest when you come to a stop at the end of the couch.

“Everyone still in the shower?” You ask.

“Yup,” she nods, picking her phone back up. “Boys left a wreck for you in the kitchen, good luck with it.”

You huff, already regretting volunteering for the cleaning up duty today. Turning on your heals, you make your way towards the archway leading to the kitchen.

“We’re watching Mamma Mia later, by the way!” You hear Mary call out from behind you. “If you wanna make popcorn, I won’t be opposed.”

Throwing her a look over your shoulder, you shake your head as you look at her face, puppy eyes illuminated by the screen of her phone and lips pursed in a pleading pout. You disappear in the kitchen without giving her an answer -- even though you both know you’re also not opposed to the idea of it.

Analyzing the scene you’re met with, hands coming up to rest on your hips, you realize it’s not as bad as Mary made out to be. It’s messy, sure, but manageable. The cooler lies on top of the counter, a puddle pooling around it, and lid crooked on top as someone probably didn’t bother to close it properly. A couple of dishes from lunch still sit inside the sink, waiting to be washed, but not enough for them to pile on top of each other.

You start with them, humming along to a beat that’s been stuck in your head but you can’t quite put a finger on it as you rinse the plates until they’re shimmering clean, the white porcelain reflecting the ceiling light. It doesn’t take you long to get through all of them, lining them on the rack that sits right next to the sink. As soon as you’re finished, you turn your attention to the cooler, taking the lid off completely so you can check the inside. The ice that filled the box has completely melted, as you expected, pooling at the bottom of it. A couple of empty cans, amongst filled ones, float on top of the water.

Picking them up, you try to fit all of them in your hands as to make a single trip to the bin. When you manage to do it, you give one last check inside to see if you missed any. You look up from it at the same time that Harry steps through the archway into the kitchen space. The sudden appearance makes you stop midstep. He also seems to be taken back by your presence, stopping on his track as he looks at you like a deer caught in headlights. The pang in your heart doesn’t fail to make itself present once again.

He’s fiddling with a water bottle in his hands. Much like you, he’s probably already taken a shower, now dressed in a pair of ash grey sweats and a graphic white tee -- your favorite one, with a blue cartoonish drawing of a smiley bee in the middle and the words “Enjoy health, eat your honey” circling it. Your lips twitch in a smile as you take notice of it. It’s the shirt you love to steal from his closet in hopes of him not missing it, even though he does every time it happens, but still lets you do it cause he says it looks better on you anyway.

He realizes where your gaze has gone, peeking down at his clothes. The smile that takes over his lips, even if small, helps to soothe the knot in your stomach.

Clearing his throat, he breaks the silence this time, voice coming out a bit hesitant. “Hey.”

“Hi.” You nod.

There’s another beat of silence before both of you realize what you’d been doing before being interrupted by the other. And as if on cue, you start walking almost coordinated, crossing your paths as he makes his way to the sink and you reach the bin across the room. You can hear the tap opening and the water filling the inside of his bottle. As you turn to walk back to the counter you watch his broad back facing you, his hair curling at the base of his neck and you can tell he’s looking at the dish rack.

“Did you wash the dishes?” He says, peeking at you from over his shoulder. You meet his gaze, nodding once again as you watch him turn the tap off, turning around as he closes the cap of his bottle. “Shouldn’t have done it all by yourself, you know, could’ve helped you.”

“It was fine.” You reassure with a shrug, placing your hands on the cooler, looking for something to do as you feel him staring.

He stays quiet for a moment, but you can almost hear the wheels in his head turning above the light tapping sound of raindrops outside. You keep your eyes fixed on the cans as you begin taking them out of the cooler, even when you hear him call out your name, only offering a light hum to let him know you’re listening. “Do you, uhm--” He pauses, sighing as you keep yourself focused on the task in hand. “Do you think we can talk?”

You take a sharp inhale, coughing slightly to cover it up as you move the lid to close the container. Chewing on your lip, you keep your eyes trained on your hands as you rest them on the counter, not ready to face what you’ve been so desperately pushing back. Still, you remember what Maya said to you earlier, and you know you can’t keep running away.  “Sure.”

“Love,” his voice comes out pained, tightening a lump that’s forming on your throat. “Can you at least look at me?”

You meet his gaze, blinking away the tears that threaten to spill down your cheeks as you meet his eyes. “Harry--”

He shakes his head slightly, shoulder dropping. “‘S killing me.”

A mesh of voices interrupts your conversation before you can even process what he just told you. You can tell by the sounds of the steps along with the creak of the wooden floor that they’re coming down the stairs. Turning your head, you try to listen closely to foresee if they’re about to enter the kitchen or not. They get louder as they approach, but you can tell they stopped at the living room when Mary’s voice joins the conversation. Harry’s watching you, but the crease settled between his brows tells you he’s also paying attention to the chatter happening outside.

“Maybe we should talk after the movie.” You say after a moment of trying to figure out the loud chatter in the next room.

“Can you meet me in my room?”

“Maybe at mine?” You suggest.  “It’s just more… secluded from the rest, I guess.”

“Okay.” He nods. “After the movie, then.”

The rest of the night blends together as a bit of a blur if you’re honest. And not due to the poorly made strawberry cocktail you have in your hands -- considering you haven’t had more than a sip off of it, and, thankfully, everyone else seems to be too buzzed to notice your untouched cup. No, it’s all thanks to the anxious feeling that has been eating you from the inside out since your brief conversation with Harry. For what seems to be the hundredth time in the past hours you feel your eyes wandering back to him. He’s fiddling with his filled drink, leg bouncing nervously as he leans back on his seat. As if he can feel your eyes set on him, he glances up, meeting your gaze with a raise of his brows.

It’s a simple gesture but you understand the silent question that comes with it, wondering when you’ll be able to sneak out to your room. You had thought that throughout the movie the rest of them would slowly get knocked out, feeling the long day under the sunlight weight on their eyelids, allowing you to settle back in your room without causing any commotion. Surely, Mary was snoring quietly next to you within the first chorus of Honey Honey. But seems like you underestimated everyone else’s capacities of staying awake, for as soon as the end credits were scrolling up on the screen, Declan was up on his feet to suggest a cocktail night.

So here you are, a wink past midnight, watching your friends stumble on their feet at, yet another, Just Dance battle, barely able to understand a single word slurring drunkenly out of their mouths.

You hold Harry’s gaze for a moment, pursing your lips as you ponder how to slip out for the night. Mary’s still sitting next to you, her body relaxed so deep into the cushions it’s like she’s swallowed by it. Her head has fallen back, chest moving along lazily with her breaths, if it wasn’t for the occasional blinks, you would’ve assumed she’d fallen asleep once again. You lean forward, setting your filled glass on the mahogany center table before turning back to her.

“Tired?” You ask.

Her head falls heavy on her shoulder as she looks at you, a small smile tucking on her lips when she nods. “If they decide to take out UNO, I swear to god…”

“I don’t think they ever sleep if I’m honest.” You chuckle just as the last few chords of Sugar come to an end. The sound of the boys’ laughs takes over the brief silence that set in the room, their chatter mixing with the sounds of the wind shaking the glass on the now-closed doors that lead outside. Shifting closer to your friend, you lower your voice just enough for her to hear it, “Feel like now’s the best chance to call it a night.”

“You know,” she sighs. “That was probably the best idea I’ve heard all day.”

You smile, sparing one last look to Harry, only to find him still watching you. Giving him a small nod, as to let him know your intentions, you scoop to the edge of the couch, standing up with a big stretch.”Okay, guys think my bed’s calling me.”

“What?” Maya’s voice yelps on top of the chorus of protests. “But I was about to get my Twister mat!”

“Some of us need to sleep.” Mary’s voice speaks up as she shifts to get up from her cozy spot, her movements much more lethargic than yours. “Shocker, I know.”

You hear echoes of objections and teasing mumbles but don’t really register their words, only sparing a final wave to the group before making your way towards your room. You make a quick stop at the bottom of the staircase, binding Mary a goodnight and watching her for a moment as she ascends the steps, dragging her feet lazily on the groaning wood. Once you finally make it to your door, it takes everything in you not to glance over your shoulder. The back of the chair he’s sitting is facing you, but you wonder if your eyes will meet once again. If he’s searching for yours as desperately as your searching for his.

You don’t look, though. Closing the door behind you as fast as you open it. As if the barrier between you two will somehow help dull the aching in your chest that’s now growing stronger with the realization that you have nowhere to hide from your feelings anymore. Taking deep breaths, you back away until the back of your thighs meet the smooth fabric of the blue comforter hugging your mattress, crossing your legs as you sit back on it.

The room is dark, as you didn’t bother turning on the lights when you first walked in, the only illumination coming from outside, due to your curtains still being pushed open. Thankfully, the rain from earlier is long gone, clearing the night sky so the moon can shine proudly and fully amongst the sea of stars dotted around it. It gives the space a silver glow, giving you an odd sense of calmness as you look out the big window across the bed. The whispers of the wind are still loud against the tree branches, as well as the waves crashing angrily at the shore. Still, the sounds of nature do nothing to quiet down the laughs that come from the other side of the door, even if faint, they’re still loud, and it snaps your attention back to the reason why there’s an anxious twist set in your stomach.

It feels like hours have passed of you sitting alone, chewing at the nail on your thumb, feeling your thoughts drowning you. Every so often your eyes dart to the door, waiting for a creak of steps or a soft knock. But every time you’re met with silence, the door still closed, almost mocking your nervousness. You wonder if he’s given up, you know he hasn’t forgotten about it, there’s no way he would, but maybe he just realized there’s no reason on fighting for whatever’s left between you two. Or maybe he’s just giving you a taste of your own medicine. Letting you sink in the silence and doubt until it floods every cell of your body. Or maybe he’s just trying to find the words to reject y--

The moment you fall back to your cushions, the lump in your throat becoming suffocating at this point, a sound you’ve been waiting for breaks you out of your mind: a quick knock followed by the door opening. The lights of the hallway creep in the room along with Harry, as he pokes his head in.

“Come in.” You clear your throat when your voice comes out in a whisper. Watching as he opens the door wider, just enough to fit the rest of his body, shutting it behind him with a click. You shift a bit, motioning to the spot on the bed in front of you as you try to untie the knot that tightens in your chest.

“Sorry it took me so long,” He sits in front of you. “They really insisted on playing a round of that fucking game.”

“It’s fine.” You give him a weak chuckle. “I was just…” You trail off, shrugging as your eyes set on your lap. “I don’t know, thinking, I guess?”

He nods. “Yeah, I was thinking, too.”

“So…”

“So,” You can feel his eyes searching for yours, so you glance up. There’s a crease set between his brows, his whole body tensed as he chews on his bottom lip. “How do we even start this?”

“I don’t know.” You answer truthfully, trying to find the words to explain everything that’s been flowing in your mind for the last week. But before anything, you know you owe him an apology, so you sigh, the words slipping out of your mouth shakier than you’d intended. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you to apologize.” He says in a blink, shaking his head softly. His voice is low, but tender, “I want to understand what happened.”

“I--” The crack in your voice makes you exhale in frustration, blinking rapidly as you look up at the ceiling, focusing on the pattern of shadows cast due to the moonlight slipping through the tree branches outside. You don’t want to cry.  “I don’t even know, just…” Taking a deep breath you meet his eyes again, knowing there’s no reason to beat around the bushes anymore. “That night, I was so embarrassed.”

“Why?”

“Cause I was drunk and--” You rub your hands over your face, wandering your eyes anywhere but on him. No need to beat around the bushes, you think again, you should just go straight to the point.  “And I had a stupid breakdown after kissing someone else.” “

“It wasn’t stupid, lo--” He cuts himself off, and you’re sure if it wasn’t for the loud thumping of the wind he could hear the crack of your heart from where he sits. “Your feelings aren’t stupid.” You watch as he looks down at his lap, fingers fidgeting with the string of his sweats as he shuts his eyes tight. “But you didn’t have to shut me off.”

The emotion behind his words is so clear, even with the darkness surrounding you, that you can’t help but scoop closer to him, hesitantly reaching your hand to rest on his shoulder. “I know.”

“Do you know how much it killed me to have you not even look at my face?” He looks up again, his waterline glossy, pooling with tears, only twisting the knot that’s settled in your chest. When he speaks again, it’s just above a whisper, “It’s like I lost you.”

You’re not sure why is it that as soon as the words leave his mouth you recoil from him. His declaration feeling nearly unfair to you, only serving as for increasing your frustration at the whole situation in hand. So you can’t help as to increase your voice slightly, a pinch of anger hidden behind it.  “Well I’m not--” You stop yourself as it comes out louder than you’d intended, the annoyance quickly dissolving into pure sadness as you register what you’re about to say. “I wasn’t yours for you to lose, Harry.”

The breath he takes is audible, your words hitting him like a brick. He nods, more to himself than to you, shrugging slightly as he looks dows at the wrinkles on the comforter, the empty space between the two of you. “Maybe I want you to.”

You blink at him, lips parting as it takes you a second to understand what he just said. “What?”

“You didn’t even give me a chance.”

“I’m sorry.” You can’t help but repeat yourself, unable to control the tear that trickles down your cheek. Sniffling, you rub it out, “I was just…”

“Scared?” He finishes as you trail off, now it’s his turn to shift closer to you, hand cupping your cheek as he caresses another tear that trails down your skin.

“Yeah.”

“I’m scared too, baby.” The petname slips off his tongue, sending a spark of electricity down your spine and tugging a smile on your lips. You don’t hold back anymore, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and tucking your head at the base of his neck. Breathing in, the familiar scent of his shampoo mixes with the faint whiff of his cologne, and even a hint of sunscreen. It hits you all at once, how much you missed the closeness to him, the feeling of his arms wrapped around your middle, and the softness of his lips pressed on the side of your head. His voice is muffled by your hair, “Hate that we’re like this.”

“I hate it too.” You nod against his neck, a fresh wave of tears threatening to spill down your cheeks. “I didn’t mean to, H.”

“Shh, I know.” His hand comes up to massage your hair, the action so loving your hands grab at his shirt trying to pull him even closer. “We can fix this, though, okay? Me and you?”

“Yes.”

“No running away anymore.”

“I promise.” You fall silent for a moment, simply enjoying each other’s embrace. When you feel him press another kiss at the side of your head, you pull away, just enough to lock your eyes on his. “Harry?”

“Yes, love?”

“Can you stay tonight?”

“Course.” He brushes a strand of hair out of your face. “Can stay every night you want me to.”

[shenanigans-academia]

Season 2 w/ Internship Arc/ Final Exams

Episode 26: Time To Pick Some Names

•The kids are so cute, they’re like “we’re FAMOUS” precious babies

•”Congratulations Todoroki on your offers”

“It’s PrObaBlY BecAuSe oF My FaTheR” just take the W babe

•BABY AIZAWA AND HIZASHI we need more flashback episodes I live for a Baby Emo Shouta

•”You’re not even French are you that’s just an act isn’t it?” Call him out Sato

•Alien Queen is amazing stfu Midnight

•FROPPY FROPPY FROPPY

•WE STAN RED RIOT

•ALL MIGHT JUNIOR I’m crying

•I love Jirou and Kaminari’s friendship. Which is mostly her bullying him (reminds me of me and my friend Zack I should call him)

•Okay Cellophane is actually a really good name as well as ChargeBolt. Creati is probably my favorite tho

•”WHY DONT WE GO OUTSIDE AND ILL SHOW YOU EXACTLY WHY MURDER SHOULD BE IN MY NAME” BAKUGOU YOU’RE TRYING TO BE A H E R O

•Also I love how Kirishima just loves to push B’s buttons

•I relate to All Might freaking out so fucking much

•Iida you shady bitch THEY CARE ABOUT YOU AND JUST WANT TO HELP

Episode 27: Bizarre! Gran Torino Appears

•Oooh new intro ngl I think I preferred the beginning half of season 2 theme TENYA FLASHING HIS GLASSES AND TENSEI BEING REFLECTED IN THEM THAT SHIT HURTED

•Gran Torino gives me the biggest whiplash istg

•Brooding Iida is a Time guys

•”what makes a movement special” only flashes of Bakugou show

•TESTU AND KIRI IN THE SAME AGENCY I FORGOT LOVE THE HARD BOI TWINS

•The fact that Momo and Kendo got picked for their internships just because they’re pretty genuinely makes me upset

•okay but Sho could’ve chosen literally any other place to intern why did he go to his dad who he actively hates (with good reason)

•Ayyeee he didn’t break his legs. Maybe he still hasn’t figured out he can exactly use them yet. Look at baby bunny go

•Omozan I see you

•Izuku you are just as sweet as that fish dessert

•FANTASY AU END CREDITS IM LIVING if Hirokoshi doesn’t want to make another movie after this next one comes out he should just make mini films out of all the AUs he makes because honestly I want to see them all animated ESPECIALLY the Fantasy AU that would be Dope with a capital D my dudes

Episode 28: Midoriya & Shigaraki

•oof Midoriya you tried sweetie you did good

•BAKUGOU MAKEOVER TIME. Serving Looks by Best Jeanist we Stan

•I always forget the Nomu were once actual people what the fuck

•Anndddd things are getting tense. These poor kids don’t know what’s coming

•Dark Iida is. Intense

•I love Iida’s Internship Mentor he’s a good boy

•Shigaraki honey. Please. Get therapy

•Okay but Midoriya’s icon for himself on his phone or whatever he’s using to message Iida is All Might and that is just so him

•Iida you’re so DUMB STAIN IS RIGHT YOU ARE A C H I L D STOP MONOLOGUING YOUR REVENGE

Episode 29: Hero Killer Stain VS. U.A. Students

•The Nomus are so fucking gross

•Fuck off Enji

•Midoriya is so good, worrying about other people like Iida

•Shigaraki is a giant man child

•Iida: “You took everything from me”

Stain: “I don’t even know who you are”

•I’m sorry but how did Stain figure out how his quirk worked like how do you find out you can freeze people by ingesting their blood without having to do so crazy fucked up shit when you were younger

•BUNNY BOY BOUNCE

•Iida I love you but you Dumb

•Todoroki being like “i know you’re not the type of person to send cryptic messages so I knew you were in trouble” yeah he knows his boy

•Iida shut UP

•”you’ve got a dark side I guess my family isn’t the only one” Todoroki now is not the time to be emo

•Ah okay decent explanation for why Sho chose Endeavor that i forgot okay now makes sense

•Iida your inner Bakugou is showing

•IM SO PROUD OF TODOROKI it’s only been a couple of episodes since the Sports Festival but he’s already shown improvement and I love him

Episode 30: Climax

•I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I would die for Tensei Iida

•MIDO-IIDA-ROKI KICKING ASS IS WHAT I LIVE FOR

•”My friends may be in trouble” OUR BOY IS GROWING

•I will say at least Endeavor listened to Shouto and told other Pros to go help him

•Ah shiiiIIIIITTTTTT I forgot Mido got (semi) kidnapped and Stain escaped/ fucking DIED (???) I’m SHOOKETH

Started cooking dinner around this time and was in and out for the next 3 episodes so these are less in-depth until Episode 34

Episode 31: The Aftermath Of Hero Killer: Stain

•SHIGGY you Big Dumb

•DABI & TOGA SIGHTINGS HELL YEAH BABY

•“Once this night is over the world will forget he ever existed” whelp that’s what you get for being a little man child Shigaraki

•BAKUGOU IN JEANS IS A FUCKING LOOK OKAY

•Lmao Kiri I love a dumbass

•“Was that a boy?” OKAY I LOVE GUNHEAD

•MIDORIYA, URARAKA IS ONE OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS YOU SHOULD BE USED TO TALKING TO HER BY NOW YA DAMN NERD

•BIRTH OF THE HAND CRUSHER Todoroki’s having like a fucking existential crisis and Iida and Mido are fucking laughing at him I’m dead

Episode 32: Everyone’s Internships

•It says Everyone’s internships but it was mostly just Froppy. Jirou and Bakugou got some spotlight (Bakugou’s hair is just *chef kiss*) but yeah super proud of Tsuyu tho!

•Kiri and Testu kill me I love them so much I need more of them together

Episode 33: Listen Up!!! a Tale From The Past

•Honestly one of the 1st instances I can see Kaminari being the ~traitor~ since he’s low key hyping up Stain but I refuse to believe it because he’s such a good dumb boy And IF it is true then I want him to be such a total BAMF that it better make it worth the heart ache. Like the whole short circuiting thing be a ploy to make people think he’s weak when he could control it the whole time and you know what this is for a different post MOVING ON

•Everyone watching Mido go through the rescue exercise, “WOAH since when does he move like Bakugou???”

•Cut to Bakugou having a stroke lmao

•All Might you’re gonna make me CRY

Episode34: Gear Up For Final Exams

•“Sexiness isnt just an aesthetic” Midnight laying down facts

•Honestly? Fuck Mt. Lady. I want more Anime Groot Kamui Woods and Gunhead

•Final Exams stress is real no matter how powerful you are. Take notes kids

•“WIERDO LITTLE CREEPS LIKE YOU ARE ONLY LIKEABLE IF YOU’RE STUPID WHO’S GONNA LOVE YOU NOW” Kami is NOT holding back

•Teacher Momo is the best she’s so excited

•Kiri is pining SO HARD for Bakugou and Baku is blinded by the rage of his life he can’t see it Baby Shark is trying his best “Maybe I should beat the lessons into your skull” “I’m counting on it” KIRISHIMA THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO FLIRT

•Shut the fuck up Monoma, Kendo come get your Rat Boy she’s just as done with him as everyone else is lmao

•”Deku, how you use your power is pissing me off I’m still better than you” every time he opens his mouth it’s either to curse someone out, to say Die, or accusing them of thinking their better than him. Honey. Go to therapy I’m begging

•WOW he uses Todoroki’s actual name

•Aizawa help the angry boy please

•“I didn’t leave anything blank at least!” MOOD KAMINARI

•How long was Nezu in Aizawa’s scarf???

•”We’re fighting...teachers?” Lmao yall fucked

•Midoriya & Bakugou against All Might. Aizawa really said fuck them kids

•Saving the most intense and chaotic for last I see

•Jirou “aren’t you just the announcer”

Mic “HEY WATCH YOUR MOUTH GIRL HAVE SOME RESPECT” he’s so butthurt haha leave Mic alone

•Aizawa is calling people out left and right we love a Ruthless Bitch

•Bakugou disses All Might. All Might “it’s on now you angry little asshole”

•MY BOY KIRISHIMA IS UP FIRST LETS GOOO AND WE FINALLY GET SOME SATO ACTION LETS GO SUGARMAN WE GOT SOME POWERFUL BOIS. Too bad they failed

•Tsuyu and Tokoyami are a good matchup and the fact they got the creepiest teacher to go against a kid with a quirk like Dark Shadow is just so funny to me. Basically said let’s make it as Goth as possible

Episode 35: Yaoyorozu: Rising

•Ectoplasm’s quirk looks like it’s literally eats Tsuyu and Yami. Everyone watching TRAUMATIZED. But they still fucking DID IT

•Also LOVE DARK SHADOW I wish he talked more

•Ojirou on Iida’s back “I can only imagine how stupid we look right now” no Ojirou you look adorable. Also just fucking LAUNCH THE TAIL MAN but hey it worked

•”Spikes? What are you trying to be some kind of ninja” yes he is Shouto why do you think he’s an underground villain HES LITERALLY DOING A NARUTO RUN AS WE SPEAK

•my girl Momo showing us what she’s made of

•Aizawa is proud of two smart little shits

•Todo is an awkward gentleman. Something he DIDNT get from his father

•Momo starts crying and covers her mouth. Todoroki:”what’s wrong? Do you feel sick? If you’re feeling nauseous we can call recovery girl” a. GENTLEMEN. He drinks his good boi and respect women juice daily

Episode 36: Stripping The Varnish

•Aoyama. Bruh. Why are you like this lmao

•Nezu is a fucking MANIAC BEAST WHAT THE FUCK we need more Mouse Hero

• “times like this he gets his vengeance” THEYRE KIDS RECOVERY GIRL

•Mic why is your face like that jfc

•KODA IS SO FUCKING PRECIOUS WHY DONT WE GET MORE OF HIM???

•”YOU CAN TALK???” It’s been like a good couple of months right? He just hasn’t talked the whole time? Honestly, respect. KODA IS AMAZING

•the fact that Hagakure just gets fucking naked so she can be completely invisible is hilarious

•”MisteR SNIPE YOU PERVERT”

”I COULDNT SEE YOU IM SORRY” poor Snipe lmao

•WHY IS MINETA TRYING TO BE A HERO WHEN ALL HE DOES IS CRY AND RUN AWAY (WHY IS HE CRYING BLOOD???)

•Lmao Sero you didn’t stand a chance sweetheart

•Oooooh so that’s Midnight’s quirk. Okay makes. A little sense I guess. But fuck I love her

•Ah. That’s why he wants to be a hero. He’s creepy and pervy but fuck that was actually a good plan

Episode 37: Katsuki Bakugou: Origin

•IT’s OUR FAVORITE ANGRY BOI. Please Katsuki. I’m begging. Take ALL the chill pills. Just once

•”Why does he always have to make things so difficult” you’ve known him literally all your life you know why. It’s because he’s an asshole

•Midoriya: PLEASE stop yelling

Bakugou: feral yelling continues

•Bakugou why are you like this

•All Might killed a child wow

•Bakugou 110% deserved that punch, good on you Midoriya

•he didn’t directly blow him up that time at least that’s a tiny bit of progress

•”Ah. They got me” All Might is so cute

•”They’re actually pretty smart. They just lose all sense when it comes to each other...They have so many complicated emotions when it comes to the other they don’t even know how to interact anymore” I don’t ship it but that’s pretty fucking gay

•”Your teachers going to do his best to school you” ALL MIGHT SNAPPED

•KB: ”When he shows up it’s my turn to blast him”

AM: “Say that to my face you Limp Noodle”

•Nice teaching just beat one student WITH another one nice All Might

•All Might literally broke Deku’s back what the fuck

•”It’s time to sleep. Goodnight Young Bakugou” ALL MIGHT YOURE KILLING HIM BRUH

•Lmao the angry Pomeranian fucking bit him I’m crying

•THATS MY MESSED UP BOIS

•Recovery Girl is just like All Might if you don’t lighten the fuck up I’ll beat your ass they are CHILDREN and she’s right

•OFFICIAL DABI AND TOGA INTRO IM SO FUCKING PUMPED DABIDABIDABI

Episode 38: Encounter

•”right now I go by Dabi”

“No I want to know your REAL name”

“I’ll tell you when you need to know” IT’S TOUYA TODOROKI THANK YOU VERY MUCH TOUYA CALL YOUR MOTHER

•Shiggy, Dabi, and Toga LITERALLY all at each other’s throats:

Kurogiri: Mom Mode Activated

•”DONT YOU GET IT MIDORIYA OR DID ALL MIGHT KNOCK ALL THE BRAINS OUT OF YOU” DENKI WHY DID YOU HAVE TO ATTACK MIDORIYA LIKE THAT HE WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP

•Aizawa and his logical deception is Class 1A’s Cry Wolf

•Kiri immediately went to Bakugou and was like you’re coming shopping with us right, right? Kiri your pining is killing me you’re not subtle honey but I love it

•”you’re going to scare the children” says the guy with the demon shadow bird that flies out of his chest Tokoyami I love you

•JIROU AND MOMO I love two lesbians

•Kiri the man in charge love my boy

•”GOTTA KEEP THOSE PEST AWAY”

“DO YOU MEAN ME???” Lmao poor Midoriya

•Shiggy you’re so fucking CREEPY

•Finally see Shiggy’s whole face. THIS IS YOUR MANS YALL??? BRUHHH

•Poor Mido he can never catch a break

•Shiggy this just looks like really gross PDA you crusty creep

•”I can’t just run away every time I get flustered” yes you can Uraraka, that’s what I do, live your dream girl, run away from boys

•Wow they actually went to the police their first smart move

•ALL MIGHT IS IZUKU’S ADOPTIVE DAD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT HIS BOY YOU COULD TELL

•”there’s a good chance that he or another student could be targeted” ForEShAdOwInG

And that concludes Season 2! Season 3 time baby!! God I need a life outside of this

[choric]

( park jimin - demimale, he/they ) — did you see noeul han walking down the street? the twenty-three year old has lived here for three weeks. i heard they’re an aspiring painter & a part-time barista now, time sure flies. gooey by glass animals always did remind of them, maybe it’s because they’re so audacious & charitable. though i did hear they can also be commanding & capricious if you catch them on a bad day.

hey babes drum-roll it’s admin fany here to welcome yall~ with some random info about me I guess uh so I’m 26, living in northern europe, most of the time dying bc I’m not made for these hot ass summers, other times just being distracted twelve times outta ten jsyk I’m not ignoring anyone my attention span is just in the negatives. or I’m playing overwatch. or subnautica when I’m feeling particularly masochistic.  would drop dead without tea. ye. that’s all for today folks

anyway here’s Noeul’s profile if you wanna peep also a very messy plot page aaaand I’m gonna ramble about him now uwu

tw: emotional abuse, tw: assault ( kinda brief mentions, esp the assault, I tried keeping it safe )

born in Seoul but his family moved to USA when he was barely 6. they moved around a l o t since then but stayed within the borders. save for one weird year in France back in 2010

he haTED it. all the constant moving around and starting at new schools with new people trying to get new friends and find new hobbies and leaving pretty much everything behind so often just stressed the hell out of his young self and he was in a perpetual state of over-emotional about the whole ordeal and angry and bitter and yeah. not having a good time

over the years he managed to find ways to cope with it, drawing and painting being a major thing as it was one of very few things he could just continue without any special arrangements made or it feeling different. putting all that bent up negativity on paper was helpful in itself so he stuck with it without much thought then, clinging into a lifeline of one constant in a sea of variables

later on it morphed from being less of a therapeutic activity and more one of him being able just flow with creativity, paint with a less personal agenda and enjoy it way more too ( not to say he doesn't still use it as a form of escapism too )

reading was another thing he found enjoyment in, especially during his early teenage years. that is something he doesn't engage that often in anymore however

his parents didn’t really care about what hobbies he took on ( even with painting carrying throughout the years he ended up trying a whole slew of other things too ) until it became apparent he was actually considering art as a legit career path. neither agreed it being a good idea but they didn’t flat out deny him either.. just were very patronising about it for months and by that time he had come to actual decision of going through with it out of pettiness alone lmao. which of course served nothing but to legit piss them off and led to a number of arguments they still have to this day yikes

his parents entire view on life seemed to be there was no point getting attached to anything, sentimentality was a flaw and you could just buy everything you needed again without much care for what was left behind. especially his mom had a lot of emotionally abusive ways to steer his life in the direction she wanted, but giving just enough freedom for him to think he had a say in anything. not to say she wasn’t supportive and encouraging too but he honest to god can’t tell now how much of it was genuine. she was especially fond of using subtle blackmail in form of referring to her own feelings and how his actions will upset her, occasionally bursting into a loud tirade which was then quickly pushed to the side without any apologies for making him in turn upset so boy was always just on edge. this still happens but he pretty much only communicates with her through calls anymore so, Noeul just hangs up when she starts acting up. his dad was more the type to not involve himself into his hobbies and likes or anything at all he only cared about academic plans.

that all messed him up big time in his younger years bc he was inherently just very attached to everything and everyone but now.. it’s almost the complete opposite, enough repetition and shit will stick I guess cause he has next to no sentimental feelings towards anything, in turn actually loves travelling and meeting new people now. partially also cause he doesn’t feel obligated to uphold anything or allow himself being chained down, he treats everything like it’s fleeting, but not without care– don’t assume he doesn’t care when that’s something he does in abundance actually. he just.. accepts nothing lasts forever. ironic enough he’s adopted far too many of his parent’s habits to count now but has grown more tender with the experiences rather than cold. probably a miracle in itself. hella guarded about his feelings tho

so yeah he moved to LA ( parents were at the time both living in NYC ) for art school and got that bachelor of fine arts degree, graduating just spring last year and has no desire to further those studies cause screw school he’s done with institutions for a decade

also his parents filed for divorce while he was at it. before he was even done with freshman year. wasn’t all too surprising nor did he have anything to really say about it, except the times mom called him whilst drunk and essentially blamed it on him being a bad son :/// his dad’s fucked off somewhere he hasn’t heard whole lot from him in last three years beside birthday texts and money transfers to his bank account. and subtle messages through mom about how he expects him to clean up one of these days. meanwhile mom mostly contacts just to check he’s alive & doing well financially while slipping in vague ‘if you would have just listened to me‘s and ‘when will you come to your senses’s >_>

forgot to mention his dad’s a CEO of a small airline company. don’t ask me what his mom does idk prob some manager of a huge ass successful online shop?? something along those lines

will not speak about them if asked tbh don't expect anything other than "they're alive."

does not like announcing his ( their ) wealth to the world either and tries not to make decisions that could reflect that but something always has to give in the end. like he’s just way too happy to blow money on other people no matter how subtle he tries to be about it and often like his parents buys new stuff instead of finding ways to bring his old along, some of his clothes are also a dead giveaway it’s not so much that he specifically purchases anything cause it’s designer but if it looks nice he doesn’t see it as any different buying from any other store around. smells awfully lot like privilege but he’s unapologetic in getting exactly what he wants, it’s not his problem if someone takes offence to that

kind of also hates that he’s so dependant on parent’s money still but has made peace with it by giving away and works twice as hard for his own stuff, regardless if it yields anything cause he’s not doing this whole painting thing as a means to gain money ( would like to, but alas, it’s a tricky career path ) more from pure passion for the art

and noeul def is not gonna tell them to stop sending him cash he'll just have fun spending it in all the shit they'd hate-- even if they've basically set conditions but weird enough haven't cut him off yet.  guess that really is the only thing they can give him and they know it too :)) 

so. doesn’t actually like sitting idle even tho he all but could, yet cannot happily place himself in an establishment with very strict 9 to 5 shifts and such, so if and when he takes on extra work occasionally it’s always part-time, and for own personal gratification

in the case of him recently taking on a spot as a part-time barista here in acarike ( started like, two days ago or something ) was also bc of keeping up appearances ( surely he would run out of money eventually? no, but no one needs to know that ) and getting to know some of the people around since his group of road-tripping friends have seriously decided to settle in

if anyone was wondering yes he has experience working in cafes, among other places. his parents abhorred him taking on such jobs at all cause “what was the point? are we not providing enough?” first of all did he ask?

I guess he is currently residing in the stardust motel?? but is looking for a place

for him travelling in the past few years has been sorta cathartic, inspiring if I dare say both in personal growth and in his work since he can decide on everything by himself, where he wants to go, for how long, for why etc

sometimes likes when he has company for that, other times he just needs to make a trip in solitary. altogether prefers meeting random people along the way

is a kind of odd friend, loyal, compassionate and all that but puts himself before anyone else. or rather puts his emotional and other needs before everything else. if he feels you’re the one getting more out of it than he is it’s not worth it sorry. very generous tho and sees it as his duty to help others in any way if it doesn’t inconvenience him. not unreliable but available only when it suits him. so unless it’s life threatening or emotional distress he will not drop everything for even a friend’s sake you can wait an hour or two. can make friends as quick as he drops them

might get a little inappropriately affectionate with friends. especially so when intoxicated

is an even weirder lover. he loves the idea and feeling of being in love and the emotional thrill of it. relationships are fun yeah but commitment?? not in his. vocabulary. to elaborate he lives for the push and pull and the suspense of it all and needs things to stay stimulating on all levels across the board when deepening relationships further while also being able to maintain a sense of own freedom. he craves the sort of emotional security and gratification it all brings but refuses to become dependant on it ( he knows how that will go ), furthermore does not like all the limitations it brings nor everything being perfect to the point of feeling fake??

tries to make it clear that he’s NOT looking for anything long term but even then people haven’t taken it well when he out of the blue announces they should stop whatever it is they’re doing. he always feels bad about it and tries to part in good terms but yeah :// many hearts have been broken. it’s probably even worse for the other person cause Noeul himself seems to have absolutely no problem continuing his life like nothing happened. all this has made him into a bit of a serial dater??

in whole he takes everything as they are, nothing is everlasting and he doesn’t try to make it so, doesn’t necessarily want to. values experiences but doesn’t get too hung up on letting go of them. including relationships. this is something a lot of people in his life wont understand and it’s frustrating for everyone involved sometimes but you gotta do what you gotta do. might be scared of opening up to people. of that attachment. maybe he’s actually just picky and is waiting for something out of the world magical who knows

repels all negativity as if his life depended on it like. add begone thot meme here

but can also be very confrontational so???

is actually in constant war with himself over positive and negative emotions but filters that out pretty handily. most of the time. cause uh absolutely will turn vicious and loud when angry. sensitive to criticism and personal attacks but gets over it quick enough. does hold grudges but mainly towards people whose opinion he cares about. strangers rarely phase him. has random emotion™ bursts but tbh only cries when being shouted at and/or being target of someone’s wrath-- OR when noeul's angry himself?? also lowkey dramatic but most of the time he’s just sorta chill and cheery, occasionally sarcastic but in a good-natured way he doesn’t mean ill with it. has very strong opinions on some things but doesn’t care if someone else sees it differently. as long as they’re not saying their way is the only right way. or if their reasoning is utter bullshit which he will call out then :))

negative people just make him laugh. will not take your ass seriously at all if you’re being a douche. used to take offence to these kinds of people all the time but he’s grown out of it and learned to simply ignore people who don’t deserve the time of his day. at least outwardly.

similarly used to be very.. well. lets say prone to letting people control and push him around cause that’s what he had learned to accept but whoo boy when he finally figured it out and took the reigns into own hands no one could stop him try it bitch

likes doing things in own terms in general, need for control has kinda taken off so will not take kindly to being ordered around in any manner. tries not to impose on other people or be pushy himself but cannot stand indecisiveness so. it happens. for better or for worse

in tune with his surroundings and current community of people if something’s off he can sense it and it will bug him to no end before it’s fixed. this could be anything from his room being in disarray to something going on in the city in whole

I ain’t saying he’s a psychic but actually stupid intuitive most cases WILL see through your bullshit don’t even try

…ok but lowkey into supernatural stuff and spirituality all that jazz he’s gone through it all while trying to find himself– which is a whole another can of worms we ain’t opening here

did I forget to mention noeul and co ( minho & jae ) rolled into town in this shiny big rv. he's def looking to buy a smaller car to drive around

not too keen on giving rides to strangers since this one time two summers ago that went south real fast when a guy pulled a knife on him. has a pretty big scar to show for it on his right side? tummy?? there’s a pic in the profile page if you’re curious. he jokes about it now "it adds character" but is actually terrified of that happening again so perpetually jumpy minho blames himself for it cause he's dumb

you can prob hear him coming 5 miles away with the amount of jewellery he adorns

don’t get me started on his wardrobe it’s a mixed bag and then some. gender norms belong into the fiery pits of a volcano

is equal parts a tea & coffee enthusiast basically lives off that stuff. i'm probably not even exaggerating here boy forgets to eat when he gets focused on something and just wolfs down a pot of coffee.

obsessed with watermelon flavoured lollipops probably has one on him at all times somehow magically pulls them outta thin air??

you can prob find him painting outside in the randomest places when the weather's nice

likes painting on people probably as much as painting them

it’s not an intimacy thing I swear. but. can be?? probably accidentally turns that way that’s just how he is

prefers either to focus on faces ( eyes specifically ) or nude models in general fcking @ him

this. is so long already I’m sorry omg

and that’s all I got my brains’ fried over this all but yo come plot with me pls also check my plots maybe orrr if you want me to check your plots ( I’d love to!! ) come poke me ay ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)