#(and you will still grow regardless of what the law says ;3)

[bluepallilworld]

teehee

Happy birthday @shinechermont !

Here our girls hanging out because I thought it'd be fun uwu

Rose

thanks @ari-cuno for organizing that collab gift thingie!!!

[yuamin]

ORORUN REDRAW GUIDE !

i think we’ve all seen the atrocity that is genshin’s unreleased character, ororun. the entirety of natlan is a mess really, but as a yoruba person myself i CANNOT keep quiet about ororun specifically.

outside yoruba mythology, in yoruba, ‘Olorun’ (the name ororun is based on, pronounced o-law-roon , with o pronounced as in orange and the ‘roon’ pronounced shortly, not dragged on at all) is actually the same word we often use to refer to God in Christianity. Christianity is the primary religion among us yorubas so honestly, i was kinda glad they misspelled his name. it would feel SO disrespectful referring to whatever that thing is with the same word we use to refer to God who we actually worship. religion aside, genshin’s depiction of Olorun (cultural god, not Christian one) is downright disgusting. i’d never paid too much attention to genshin and its poor representation, but now that my culture has fallen victim to it, i completely understand all the outrage.

edit: please note that while we use ‘Olorun’ to refer to the Christian God, Olorun is just a general word for ‘god’ itself ! for example if i say “God in heaven” and “god of thunder” we know i’m referring to two different beings, in yoruba it’s the kind of the same—the same word is used to refer to both the Christian and other gods, but we know it’s different, even though olorun can be capitalized regardless of what god we’re talking about (unlike english where the Christian God is capitalized and other gods aren’t) at the end of the day though, when we say “olorun” even without context, we are usually referring to the christian God !

1. PLEASE DO NOT DRAW HIM WITH ANIMAL EARS !

i’ve noticed that hoyoverse has this nasty habit of portraying every dark skinned character as wild or animal-esque. kaeya seems to be the only exception to this. even xinyan, though lacking any animal features, has this wild energy to her. some might call it a stretch, but i feel like her features are pretty feline in comparison to other liyue characters.

Olorun in our culture is the supreme god of the heavens. In my opinion, it is disrespectful to liken him to something akin to an animal. normally i wouldn’t even mind that much, but with how hoyo makes its few dark characters more and more like animals, i can’t help but feel weird about it. its really off putting.

2. HIS HAIR WOULD NOT BE CURLY !

majority of nigerians have 4C HAIR. not wavy hair or loose curls. some have 4B, but 4C is the usual here, that is, kinky or coily hair. Olorun is often portrayed as bald in traditional art, but trust me if he had hair his hair would resemble his people’s, not Tyla���s.

DREADLOCKS ARE A YES ! outside nigeria, locking hair is pretty common, but in nigeria a lot of people have locks naturally. our hair sometimes just grows out that way, no treatment no nothing. dreads are 100% an appropriate style, they look good asf too.

3. PLEASE USE CULTURAL FABRICS IN YOUR DESIGNS !

when i saw ororun’s outfit, i almost started crying. they couldn’t even bother to dress him up a little. they really dressed my brother in a scarf and cape and called it a day 😭 upon how fashionable we nigerians are know to be, hoyoverse still made it their mission to embarrass us stylistically. God knows my people have suffered man 😭

ankara is a traditional nigerian fabric that features bright colors and lots of patterned designs. see below:

here in 9ja, we love our ankara. it’s a big part of our fashion here and trust me it would look excellent in your designs. it’s perfectly fine to draw ororun in normal fabrics since he’s a deity and it’s not like ankara existed back then, but if you really want to represent nigeria, ankara is a must 🙏

i’m going to address another fashion piece because if you search up nigerian fashion you’ll see it a lot: beads.

these orange beads are igbo (another tribe here in nigeria) NOT yoruba. does this mean you can’t use it in olorun’s design ? no ! let me explain. tbh, here in nigeria there’s a bit of...tension between clans. it’s not that common, but older people are definitely a lot more tribalist. as a yoruba i love my igbo brothers and sisters, i truly believe they’re the most fashionable clan and i adore their festivities, they always go over the top. please, just look at them:

(only one image because of image caps, ugh)

anyway, we yorubas wear beads too. but the specific way the beads are worn around the head and in multiple layers round the neck is igbo, not yoruba. though i personally wouldn’t care too much if i saw olorun with igbo beads since all i want is for him to at least look nigerian, at the end of the day he is a yoruba deity. it might be disrespectful to dress the god of one clan as if he belongs to another, especially since there is so much historical ( and very slight but uncommon present ) day tension between both clans.

here’s a more yoruba outfit. sorry yall, it might be hard for you to distinguish if you’re not yoruba or igbo, but a lot of nigerians can tell the difference at a glance. ( actually nowadays, there is so much overlap between yoruba and igbo fashion, but there are many specific styles that may be associated with one tribe and not the other, for example how beads are worn in the above paragraph ) please do your research, he’s not only a nigerian god, but a yoruba one.

one more thing, because i know it will start discourse : skin tone.

nigerians have a very diverse range of skin tones. some of us are so pale, if not for our afrocentric features we could maybe pass for another race. however, ororun is yoruba.

light skinned nigerians are usually igbo. not to say that yorubas can’t be light skin, but here in nigeria if you saw a light skinned person, we’d automatically assume they were igbo. igbo people usually have lighter skin tones. majority of yorubas fall on the more milk to dark chocolate end of the skin tone spectrum. i’m saying this now because i know a lot of people are going to start arguments over ororun being redrawn as ‘too light’ or ‘too dark.’ i don’t really care about complexion, but i thought i’d help you all get your facts right.

that’s it ! if you read all this i’m super thankful. i don’t usually post about this kind of stuff but i honestly love my country and could go on about it for days. nigeria is such a beautiful place with a diverse range of cultures— from hausas to fulanis to so many more. natlan was supposed to be Africa’s time to shine, as well as latin americans, but hoyoverse said fuck you and your people. they did this to an extent with sumeru but natlan was done straight up dirty—not a single melanated character in sight, and the only one who does have melanin, iansan, looks so desaturated you might as well call her grey. i saw someone on tiktok call mualani a dark skinned character—it was at that point that i knew genshin was done for.

please REBLOG this post so it reaches more people and artists in the fandom !! this is literally the third time i’m making this post because tumblr refuses to show it in the tags for some reason 😭 i encourage other cultures who feel misrepresented to make posts like this too. it’s a perfect opportunity to educate and inform people about the diverse cultures genshin has once again failed to represent properly.

Hoyo has never been one to make customer satisfaction their top priority, but we’ve been able to call them out before and i truly believe we can do it again. Natlan is not poor design choice. it is blatant racism, a nation based on POC ethnicities with not a single colored character insight. Hoyoverse has been able to escape racism accusations for as long as i can remember, but natlan is the icing on the cake. we CANNOT allow hoyo to proceed as planned without giving them the appropriate backlash.

Also, if you redraw ororun using this guide, make sure to tag me here or on my main blog, @heartkaji !! i’d love to see all your redesigns. once again, thank you all for reading and have an amazing day !!

[marlshroom]

came to the fucked up realization after finishing gravity falls again last night the parallels of the dream bubble bill made for mabel and the literal state of delusion he keeps himself in.

in the book of bill on the page where bill cipher describes how he figured out a way to manipulate her into giving him the rift, it says:

"Summers ending, my guy. Ending to death, bro. She'd do anything to make it last just a day longer. Probably something RASH and OUT OF CHARACTER, even!"

as we know, mabel cannot handle the fact that she will be growing up. that the relationship with her brother is going to change. she is scared of high school.

bill then says "That was it. She'd never make a deal with me. But she'd make a deal with someone she believed could give her more time. The dream was done. I had her."

bill then creates the dream bubble for mabel, he makes every one of her dreams come true, a place where time is still and she can be a kid forever. a lie so great that she wont have to face the truth.

in journal 3 on one of the pages bill is writing in code, we see this:

[ID: "I ask you, why must[should] time only move forward? Why must cause preceded effect. Who voted on the law of physics."]

my friend helped me break down what bill means by this:

why can we only move forward in the 4th dimension of time. why does something have to make another thing happen, why must cause come before the effect. why cant you move backwards, in the other direction, change the decisions youve made.

how interpret this is bill asking why he is not able to back and stop what he did to his family. he says to ford that he tried and failed to undo the past.** why did him wanting people to acknowledge his advantages instead of suppress him lead to the destruction of his whole dimension?

**(i just want to point out that this is probably the time where bill is the MOST open to anybody, or at least the first. to his henchmaniacs he had been telling them that he liberated his dimension until the oracle discovered the truth. here, to ford, he got so much closer to telling the truth. he SHOWS ford the last atoms of his world. he says that it was destroyed by a monster, not that it was liberated! destroyed)

back to when bill says "I had her" about mabel, he had her cause he knew exactly what needed to happen to trap mabel in a delusion because it is exactly what he is doing to himself. creating a fake narrative of what happened to him, that he was vindicated in killing his whole dimension. only ever doing exactly what he wants because confronting the truth is too scary for him(good fucking lord). the morality page offers good insight into this too.

i am actually just going to quote the whole page and highlight the important part. it speaks for itself really

"THE POINT IS it's[morality] is a very flexible concept! But parents and presidents don't want you to know that, because then you might start asking other questions, like who put them in charge, anyway? So they cram your brain full of guilt and regrets for transgressing the laws that they just made up(the laws that they made to prevent the destruction of their dimension, regardless of if the law + the wrongful medication of a fucking baby triangle did any good to actually prevent it). Wouldn't it be nice if you could put all that baggage down? Quell the shame that follows you everywhere for a lifetime of crimes? MAKE THE SCREAMS FINALLY STOP? The good news is you CAN silence that annoying voice, and here's how!

DENIAL

Works 100% of the time in every situation. What you you mean there are people who disagree? I can confidently say there aren't!

RATIONALIZATION

If you can do it, you can justify it! "Truth" is open-source code and anyone can edit it anytime! Want to be like me? List 3 "evil" things and then 3 "reasons why they're actually good." You'll be rationalizing like Bill in no time!

DETACHMENT

Did you know 100% of your human cells die and are replaced every 7 years? That means that anything you did 7 years ago wasn't even you-it was some dead loser! You can't be held accountable for what a dead person did! What? You think this is just another form of rationalization? I DENY THAT!

THE BILL CIPHER DECISION METHOD!

Working over the eons, the voices in my head teamed up and worked out a foolproof method for making any decision in any situation.

DO WHATEVER I WANT."

ooooooooooooooooooh boy.

he is fully admitting here that he is living in a completely different really in order to justify doing whatever he wants. he gives mabel the tools to deny, to rationalize, to detach herself from the reality of it all. that time has to move forward. and he thinks it will work because it worked on himself.

but it doesn't work on mabel because she understands that she needs other people. shes vunerable, she lets people in, admits when shes wrong. and bill cant do that because it would destroy the fantasy he's created for himself.

[abouttomakeanameformyself]

Someone New Chapter one: Someone gets hurt

When you go through a breakup, you find yourself drinking your feelings and looking for a place to stay. You stumble into a seedy bar and meet a certain bartender.

Pt 1/10

1/5 🌶️ (references to sex but it's mostly implied)

This is part of a series I will be updating regularly. Tropes include friends to lovers, friends with benefits, roommates, and GrumpyxSunshine. In flirty bartender Remy we trust.

Rejection hung around like smoke in the air as your doc martens thudded down Royal street. The stench and sounds of Bourbon was overestimating to the senses, but that's quarter for you. You've been avoiding the French Quarter since you started at Tulane University five years ago, but most New Orleans natives did. It was loud, crowded, and busy with sad drunk tourists. Given the fact you were sad and mildly buzzed it was actually the perfect hideaway. 

The bounds between Decatur, Canal, Esplanade and Rampart were a personal fucky-Bucky free zone. Plus, open container laws. Since you were old enough to drink now, it seemed appropriate that you could drown your sorrows in $15 of watery sugar booze. The hangover was going to be horrific but horrific enough to jump scare you out of your current while also equally horrific predicament. 

You have been with your boyfriend James since the end of your sophomore year, when a booze infused hookup became a relationship. You lasted through the rest of undergrad, and into Grad school. Until today. Nothing says happy midterms like walking in on your boyfriend of 3 years being straddled by your best friend. 

You passed pissed a long time ago. Right now it was settled into a mix of numbness and shock. The list of things to do was subtly growing. 

Move out

 Get a better apartment 

Get really hot.

Try not to cry in public. 

It sucked. The whole situation fucking sucked. It was still better than forgiving Yelena and possibly seeing her fuck James a second time. It wasn't bad enough that she needed your boyfriend, she had to ruin your rent controlled historic apartment in the lower Garden District. Assholes. 

It was worth mentioning that Kate would at one point or another need to know that her girlfriend was bopping your boyfriend. Kate was 18 months younger than you and felt like a baby sister. Forget your own relationship, Yelena was gonna hurt pookie. That was unforgivable. You didn't want to tell her, but the whole predicament of the fact that she deserved to know. 

The little voice in the back of your head, that sounded an awful lot like James was telling you that you were projecting your feelings on Kate. The other little voice in the back of your head that sounded like your mother told you that you needed to do right regardless of how it relates to you. Both of those voices combined didn't really help you make a decision at all, it was just starting to give you a migraine. 

What started as a walk long walk around campus turned into a streetcar ride to mid-city. Or maybe Magazine street. About 3 hours ago that turned into roaming aimlessly through crowds of tourists. People at the Boot on campus could easily put two or two together, or even worse you could run into the ex-boyfriend and the ex-boyfriend rider. It was all too fresh. You needed a fucking drink, and hiding in hand grenades and voodoo daiquiris with the degenerate middle aged tourists was comforting. Their midlife crisis drinking was a blanket over your own crisis drinking.

The Quarter was jam packed. Especially for a Wednesday. The stickiness of the summer evenings have given way to a warm breeze, with the occasional chill. Louisiana never got cold the way it did back in South Dakota. You had the right wardrobe choice for going on a shame stroll around the city. A pair of mom and James's old Net’s shirt was casual and comfortable.

It was one of your favorite articles of clothing actually. It was soft from years of washing, and hung on your frame perfectly. It didn't matter that you didn't know what a Net even was, you loved the shirt. Well fuck him. He's not getting it back. Sure, holding a shirt hostage was kinda petty, but sliding your dick into your girlfriend's best friend was also petty.  

The vibrating in your pocket was the tell tale sign that people were worried. Or that shirt man was trying to crawl out of the hole he buried himself in. Which happens to be your friend's hol- that wasn't important. Half of you wanted to throw your phone on the ground and mentally unplug, but the reality of the situation was you were gonna be too drunk to take the streetcar efficiently. You needed your phone to Uber home. 

The tourists seemed to be thinning out the further you moved down Royal Street. All the excitement was a block over Bourbon usually, but it was nice from the crowds you witnessed earlier. Less out of towners destroying the historic district with alcohol containers and public indecency. The fewer people around made the Quarter a little bit nicer. Suddenly the tourists made sense. It was pretty when it was quiet. 

The galleries and boutique bars separated Royal from Bourbon’s roll of party spots. It was a completely different vibe. While you didn't hold much artistic ability, it was grounding to look at the masterpieces through the windows. There was something so comforting about the way it made you think about something else. It was a quick reprieve from the memory of your boyfriend's face as he was quite literally balls to the wall inside your long term roommate. 

Your wandering around the Quarter turned into a lazy stroll, and the sky turned dim. The weight of the day wore you out and all you wanted was a pick me up. You've heard that Erin Rose apparently had an amazing Irish coffee but that seemed like the opposite of where you wanted to be. At this point, you had a shitty margarita from a crap bar on Bourbon. Just enough to be tipsy but that wasn't enough, you needed to hear colors and see sounds. 

You were tired, but a familiar aroma brought you back to life with a single sniff. 

Now, Tulane taught you a lot in the several years you've been in attendance. The graduate programs at Tulane were coveted spots. Yet, not everything was an academic experience. Your ability to sniff out the perfect espresso martini was not because of education it was more of a passion based skill. It was a life line. The wave of coffee and vodka and serotonin was far more intoxicating than Sir bottom shelf tequila.

The glittering lights of the bar across the street caught your eye. Glowing yellow lights in a cursive script spelled out Lebeau’s. It seemed like a local place, with the smooth lighting and moody exterior. Carefully, one doc in front of the other you stepped in. 

The walls were this beautiful authentic exposed brick. The bar was sleek, with smooth jazz playing low in the background. Dark violet accents framed the dreary wood that the majority of the furniture consisted of. It was almost empty, except for one man in the corner of the bar, playing solitaire by himself on one of the cocktail tables by the door. No bartender though. 

Your brows furrowed, and you stepped in. The quiet was inviting. Whoever was in charge was probably just giving a run to the storage room or something. 

“I would consider another sponsorship, ‘Cher. ‘Pecially around these parts.” A crisp voice broke out in the quaint silence, absolutely ruining the vibes. 

When you walked into the bar, you came with the intention of drinking. While you knew you weren't alone, you didn't really care about the card guy. People go to bars to sit alone and decompress, not to bug random civilians. Only weirdos jump into random conversations with no warning. When the smoky Cajun drawl, it took you a solid 30 seconds to realize that you weren't hallucinating. 

Your head slowly turned to face the stranger, only this time there was no maneuvering of cards. He was staring at you. Red on black eyes flicking down your frame quickly. Only, it didn't feel like he was checking you out. It felt more analytical than it was pervy, which was comforting. Well, it was comforting in the way that you weren't being objectified but he was still fucking staring at you, which was an issue. “Pardon?” 

“Your shirt, Nets. Not popular in these parts. Ya’ from out of town, Chérie? New Jersey? I think the Nets are Jersey.” He was leaning on his elbows, forearms resting against the wooden tabletop.

 He had one of those scruffy patches of stubble on his face, that was still clearly facial hair but looked well maintained. Clearly he was aiming for a rugged appearance, and he wasn't far off. He wasn't unattractive actually. He was quite attractive. You couldn't dwell on it much, because the second you had the realization that he wasn't completely unfortunate looking, James's face flashed in your mind. 

“First of all buddy, not New Jersey. The Nets are from Brooklyn. Second of all, no, I'm not from New Jersey. Third of all, don't you dare tee-shirt shame me. It's not even my damn shirt. Also, the shirt is not that important, I just want a fucking drink.” You said in response, brows furrowing in frustration. There has to be a bartender at this place, who has a fully stocked empty bar and isn't behind the count- 

The stranger smirked as the realization was dawning on you that he was the Bartender. Well fuck me today I guess. He stood from his seat, grinning at your clear embarrassment, the cheeky bastard. He had one of those faces that always looked like he was sort of smirking. Great. Just what you needed! You just snapped at the bartender and he clearly found it funny. 

Suddenly a lobotomy seemed more desirable than a martini. When you have that change up maybe professional help should be seeked. 

“If you're wearing another man's shirt, I’d say that he has bad taste. Looking at you though, I can tell that's not true. Remy Labeau is a lot of things but he's not a liar.” Oh lovely. Flirty bartender. How horribly fucking cliche. “Now what can get you to drink, Beau?” 

At least he was smart enough to offer you a drink.

“Espresso martini. It's my ex's shirt, it just happens to be what I wore today.” You were still standing in the middle of the room. It was silly, but earlier you halted your movements to have a full conversation about your shirt for some reason. With a few steps, you slipped into a seat at the bar. 

Exhaustion hits your body like a ton of bricks the second you find yourself in a position of rest. You've been up since about 7, went to bed at 3, had two midterm- god you've been so preoccupied with the fact James Buchanan shit-for-brains Barnes sucked that you completely forgot that you just finished this semester midterms. To look on the bright side at least he had the decency to get caught cheating after your tests. Fucking asshole. You haven't stopped moving since you ran out of your bedroom hours earlier. 

“If it's an ex, then he has bad taste if he gave something up that looks as good as you.” Remy replied, his smirk faltering slightly. The statement sounded flirtatious, but something behind his eyes felt disconnected somehow. Okay, so what if a generic hot bartender had layers? Half of the job requirement is being nice to sad drunk people. 

Remy carefully slid over that treasured martini, just as you requested. “Personally, I think you'd be a lot kinder to me if you laid off the caffeine ‘Chérie. Ya’ seem jumpy. So, this ex. Is it a new ex? Or?” 

It seemed like curiosity. Harmless. The first instinct you had was to go for the throat and tell him it was none of his business. He was just trying to do his job. Make the drunk girl at the bar feel supported so you get a tip yadda yadda. You sighed, tilting your head back and bracing yourself for the information you were about to dump on this poor man. “Actually, very new. About-” You paused to pull your phone out of your pocket for the time, grimacing at the 17 missed calls and the 43 unread messages. “I would say around 8 hours ago. Give or take.” 

Remy’s brows rose, as his dark eyes analyzed your face. He clearly didn't believe you. “You broke up with him? Remy thinks that he wouldn't let one like you get away that easily, beau.” 

The flattery was kind in theory. It was this poor blue-collar worker's attempt to make you feel better. That is not what happened, of course. It was like the healing bruise was prodded. So instead of actually responding with words, like a normal fucking person, the tears were immediate. 

Remy was less prepared for the random tests than you were. The tall, broad man was startled, his eyes widening in shock. His body ducked down, searching for napkins or tissues or something. The random and very ugly crying had the annoying hot bartender in a state of panic. He seemed so smooth up until now, but clearly you caught him off guard. “Fuck m- I didn't mean to make you cry.” 

“It's totally fine.” You mumbled through the tears. Your mental stability hit the wall. It was going to happen eventually. Emotional and physical exhaustion was playing at your mental stability. You needed to get a hold of yourself. “It's not your fault. It's not my fault either. I came back from an exam to find him underneath my best friend. In my bed. I'm-”

You trailed off, taking a moment to control your breathing, before deciding to reinsert your foot in your mouth. Not like you'll ever see him again. “It's just very new. I felt like I had this perfect set up, now I'm back at square one. I had this perfect relationship and I loved my apartment. I have put years into a friendship with this person. I lost a rent controlled apartment in the garden district. An affordable apartment in that neighborhood is about as common as a golden fucking unicorn.” 

Remy listened to your words, standing back up to his full height. His dark eyes searched your face. His smirk faded into a relaxed expression. The only indicator that he was actually thinking was his eyebrows, which were furrowed together. He looked quite analytical actually. 

“That's a lot actually. I'm sorry.” His words were so genuine. The expected move from the hot bartender handbook would be Remy telling you that you were too good for James, or that he didn't know what he was missing. That never came. Just an apology and an acknowledgement that it was hard news. There was no fake pity in his voice. It was honestly incredibly refreshing.

“I know I need to find someplace to stay. The friend was my roommate, and she's on the lease. I'll have to go get my stuff but I'm hoping to go when they are in work or class. It's basically impossible to completely move out without one of them showing up. I guess I'll have to go in shifts or leave some stuff behind.” Your attention shifted back to your ignored martini, and you were thankful for the excuse to silence yourself by bringing the glass to your lips. 

“No bébé. You won't.” He said, his intense thought process breaking as easily as a single strand of hair. 

He caught you off guard as you dabbed your eye with a drink napkin. “Wh- I'm sorry. What do you mean I won't?”

“You won't be alone to get your things, beautiful. You won't need multiple trips. I'm taking you to get your things in the morning. You're gonna stay with me. My friend Scott just moved into an apartment with his girlfriend Jean. I have an extra room. You're going to be my new roommate.”

[dfortrafalgar]

I'm Losing You

Having a family isn't always as easy as fairy tales make it seem.

Warnings: i'm going to say it on every chapter. READ THE WARNINGS ON CHAPTER 1!!!!!

Also, I am officially opening up a tag list for readers who are interested in updates. If you are interested, either respond to a chapter, DM me, or send an ask and I will add you to the list.

I'm eventually going to make a masterlist for this fic, but that won't be until it's completely finished.

Taglist: @phsycochan

Chapter 4

[Prev] [Next]

Saturday morning.

Law was woken up at 3:30 AM from his hospital pager calling him in as quickly as possible for an active aortic aneurysm.  You had woken up from how quickly he jumped out of bed, but fell back asleep just as rapidly, getting to sleep in as you had weekends off.  When you did wake up, however, you were nervous.

You were tracking.  

You were supposed to get your period 10 days ago.

Bepo didn’t seem to need to go out that urgently, so you quickly fed him before retreating to the bathroom, digging through the medicine drawers for your abundance of at-home pregnancy tests that Law insisted on keeping.  Your hands were shaking as you unboxed the familiar white stick before performing the test.

You washed your hands and waited for the test to come back.

You wanted to leave and make yourself breakfast, anything to distract you from the turmoil of waiting, but your feet simply refused to move from their spot.  The only sound in your head was the pounding of your own heart, the only reminder that you were even still alive.

One minute passed.

Then two minutes.

Then three.

Was the world still turning?  Were you still breathing?

You blinked once.  Then twice.

You reached a shaky hand forward and picked up the test, gazing at the result window.

—

Law remained on call, but was able to return home after the aneurysm operation.  He opened the door to see you standing there, a bright smile on your face.  He had barely taken off his jacket when you thrust a white stick in his face.

His stomach dropped.

“Law…” you whispered, your face growing more and more excited.

“It’s…” he uttered back, golden eyes wide with exasperation.

Two thin red lines displayed in the result window.

You barely had time to register his reaction when Law scooped you off of your feet, spinning you in his arms.  You squealed at the sensation, gripping his shoulders tightly as Bepo sprung to his feet and barked at the display.  You were placed back down, Law stabilizing you by your arms.  His cheeks were flushed, his eyes blown wide.

“It’s actually… is it actually…?” he asked, winded.  Even he could barely believe his eyes.

“It’s positive, Law…” you whispered back, your own disbelief was palpable, but your joy was radiating from your body in waves.  You flung your arms around his neck, laughing into his shoulder.  Law held you around your hips, the smile on his face comparable to his smiles from your wedding night.

It was positive.

It was positive.

“Law… what do we do now?” you asked, still gripping the test.  You couldn’t tear your eyes away from the two thin red lines on the display, as if you were still coming to terms with reality.  You were pregnant.

“I… I honestly don’t know…” he responded, equally dumbstruck.  

You both had sex around three times within the past two weeks, so it definitely happened some time then.  Regardless, you beamed.  “I just… can’t believe it.  Almost eight months…”

Law pulled you toward the couch in your shared living area, sitting you down next to him and holding you close.  There were so many words he wanted to say, so many expressions of sheer delight and excitement at the sudden success of your shared efforts, but all he managed to say was, “I’m gonna be a dad…”

You laughed, both out of nerves and elation as you added, “I’m gonna be a mom…”

The two of you stared at each other for what felt like an eternity before bursting into a shared fit of giggles.  Bepo hopped up onto the couch next to you, shoving his head into your shoulder and forcing you to turn your attention to him to pet and kiss his head.

“Bepo, you’re gonna be a big brother!” you cheered.  The dog’s pink tongue was hanging out of his muzzle, like he was smiling just as bright as you and Law were.

Law wanted to shout it from the rooftops.  He wanted the entire universe to know.  But for your sake, and for the sake of Bepo’s sensitive ears, he kept his words contained within the walls of your apartment.

“We did it…”

[pyropsychiccollector]

Shiro Harem: Holy Grail War... of Love 2/7

As you guys know, the poll ended up being a 3-way tie... Technically. Although, based off the accidental "first" poll where Artoria had more votes tying her with Sakura... I'm gonna be generous and throw the King of Knights in here as an "unofficial" winner. It's the only poll that changed drastically enough, and I feel bad for flubbing up the first time. XD

... So, uh. Yeah. I'll be writing up 4 posts before posting anything. Be sure to cycle through my posts to find your favorite girl(s)... The official winners are Rin, Sakura, and Luvia. I'll be getting to Mitsuzuri, Illya, and Reines later. XD

The Beginning

Let's just jump into #2 now~... (人◕ω◕) Sakura-chan is... She's an interesting one. I like her supportive dynamic with Shiro, but for my own peace of mind I'm tweaking things... Mostly for Sakura's sake, but a bit for Shiro's sake as well.

But first, the disclaimer:

Fate: Stay Night is all about branching timelines. As such, to cater to all seven members of this harem in a single worldline, we'll be looking at an AU separate from the canon ones, regardless of how similarly events may play out. Just a forewarning.

With that out of the way... I do need to stress this is where we begin to look at the divergences in the timeline. Because even if she didn't show up often in Fate Zero, you could argue she had an important role even back then... The Fourth Holy Grail War is where her life began going down the crapper, and the war's conclusion shattered Shiro as a person. You could argue that the divergences in the Fourth War play into why the Fifth War panned out so differently in this AU. Both wars are intimately connected~... So I'm gonna go ham here. Apologies for those who might prefer a more broken Sakura... But that's too angsty for my palette. I won't allow it. (人◕ω◕)***

Let's start with the big one. Sakura had an Uncle Kariya who meant the world to her. (人◕ω◕) Sakura was born the second daughter of the Tohsaka family, and her father Tokiomi being the brilliant man that he is... He decided to judiciously follow the laws and traditions of magi families - that there can only ever be one heir that inherits the Magical Crest of the Tohsaka's. And instead of letting Sakura choose her own life, her own path, Tokiomi decided because Sakura had so much potential that she should be given away to the Matou's, an ally mage family. So that she could be groomed into their heir, since they didn't have one. Not a proper one; Shinji was too weak to be considered an heir.

Seems "reasonable", yeah? Just give Sakura away to an ally magus family. Give the "unnecessary" child up for adoption... (人◕ω◕)*** Unfortunately, Tokiomi is a fool. It's one thing to want what's best for your kids... It's also one thing to follow traditions zealously because that's always how things have "always" been done, not all cultures encourage reflection and adaptation... (人◕ω◕)** But this guy gave his kid away to a veritable vampire and didn't know it. Of course Zouken hides his longevity pretty well... On top of how he's stayed alive for centuries...

It was a pretty big mistake. But that's what it was: A mistake. Because for all that I can harp on Tokiomi's idiocy all day, he didn't do it maliciously... He did want Sakura to thrive and come into her own as a magus. Even if that meant competing with her sister Rin one day. ... But you know what they say about good intentions, the road they pave... (人◕ω◕)

Still, this is when Kariya enters the picture. Just as the Fourth Holy Grail War is entering the final phases of preparation, he returns to Japan from some trip around the world that took a while. His lifelong friend Aoi Tohsaka, Rin and Sakura's mom, is used to him being away for lengthy periods and is simply happy to see him back. Rin is happy enough to see him, too... But when he opens up the can of worms that is Sakura, mother and daughter grow despondent. He learns about Tokiomi giving Sakura away to the Matou's, the family that he's distanced himself from because he can't stand being around them... Particularly around "grandfather"...

But Kariya can't let things be, no matter how much Aoi begs him. Aoi was the woman he loved, and still loves... And he treasures her daughters just as much. Sakura was especially fond of "Uncle Kariya", and that's why he goes to confront Zouken about the adoption. Because he knows the Matou family magic will break Sakura, it would break anyone. The Matou's really only exist for Zouken's benefit...

... Unfortunately for Kariya, Sakura was already thrown into the worm pit, and has been down there for days... Already broken and traumatized. Kariya is beside himself, and instantly tries to strike a bargain with Zouken: He'll win the Fourth Holy Grail War, and when he does Zouken will release Sakura. Return her to the Tohsaka's. Zouken isn't exactly keen to hedge his bets on Kariya, but it gives the old fossil a chance to torture Kariya and make him suffer... So he tentatively agrees, insisting Sakura will continue her training until Kariya returns with the Grail.

... In one timeline, Kariya dies failing to save Sakura. He dies with Aoi believing that he killed Tokiomi... And he severely wounded her in grief and outrage.

This timeline goes better. ... For the most part. During the war, Kiritsugu's assistant Maiya encounters Kariya. She's about to kill him, threat of Berserker be damned, but he winds up begging her for an alliance. Kariya asserts that his life doesn't matter - he's got an unruly Servant, and his body is rapidly deteriorating... Kariya intends to keep fighting even if he expires in the process, but his ultimate objective is to save Sakura. Maiya and whoever she works for is under no obligation to help him, but he begs them to save Sakura... Kariya's willing to offer them his Servant's power for however long he has it, as long as they follow through on their end of the deal.

Maiya contacts Kiritsugu about Kariya's offer... And while he'd sooner just kill Berserker's Master and be done with it, his wife Iri talks him into the alliance. She points out that Kiritsugu should be able to understand Kariya's pain, wishing to save a child that he cares for dearly... And Kariya is rather bedraggled and barely functioning as it is. What's the harm in helping a dying man?

So Kiritsugu agrees to meet with Kariya. They hash out what makes Zouken so damn near "unkillable", and they agree to go to the Church about the matter. Kirei's father, Risei, knows of ways to deal with corrupt magi such as Zouken, and as the matter is not related to the Grail War directly... he agrees to put the war on hold to deal with Zouken Matou.

Zouken attempts to flee the Matou estate with Sakura, unwilling to lose his best chance in the next Grail War... But gets taken down by Risei, Kirei, and Tokiomi, who is repulsed to learn about the truth of the man he entrusted his daughter with. The "vampire" doesn't die so easily... But he is exterminated. And Sakura's body is purged of all the crest worms that defiled her body.

Kariya is offered the same treatment, but he refuses. He knows that he will die whether they deal with the crest worms or not... He needs what magic they can offer him to keep going in this war. Because even with Sakura saved from his monster of a "grandfather", Tokiomi is adamant about giving Sakura away to a different family once the war is resolved... Kariya simply refuses to allow that to happen. He continues to fight for Sakura's sake... striking a new deal with Tokiomi that should Kariya survive the war, Grail or no, he'll retain custody of Sakura for however long he lives for.

Tokiomi isn't so enthused to accept any "deal" with Kariya, a waste of a magus like him... But he's also a father. And he is well aware that Sakura will need a... grace period to recover from her trauma. He figures that whenever Kariya dies, he can negotiate with Kariya's brother to take Sakura back. With this strategy in mind, Tokiomi "accepts" Kariya's challenge.

... To his own detriment. In the end, Kirei still kills Tokiomi. He loses the chance to torment Kariya, as the Matou representative honors his word and keeps fighting alongside Kiritsugu and Saber... But it's still the same old, same old. Kiritsugu still kills Kayneth. Saber takes on and defeats Iskandar, and Gilgamesh annihilates Lancelot because of his "weak" Master. Kiritsugu fights Kirei to the death, and Saber is forced to "destroy" the Grail... which brings about calamity, anguish, and despair.

But Kariya... He manages to survive those events, similarly to Kiritsugu. It's nightmarish, wading through what would later be known as "the Great Fire", but they manage to find and rescue Shiro. Kariya leaves the boy in Kiritsugu's care, once they get him to a hospital. He returns home to the Matou estate and hashes some things out with his brother, who's leery and uncertain of what the future holds for them now that they don't have Zouken breathing down their necks...

For a few years, Kariya manages to cling on. They're not entirely happy, Sakura can tell her Uncle is seriously ailing and worries over him... But moreover, she just struggles to... accept that "grandfather" is gone. That she doesn't have to be tortured anymore. Deep down, she's bitter that she suffered at all, that her father gave her away like that...

But Kariya helps Sakura to reconnect with Aoi and Rin. He gives Sakura the choice to return to them now that Tokiomi's gone - and yes, that was an ordeal working out what happened to him; Kirei had no one to easily pin his teacher's death on, and so the man denies knowing anything at all, plays the part of the "aggrieved" student who happened to discover the body - and Sakura turns the offer down. She's... conflicted about her mother and sister, who allowed her to be given away. Though Kariya insists that they love her, and want to be with Sakura again... She just can't bring herself to fully believe him. Sakura wants things to go back to the way they were... But her initial year with the Matou's was hell. Even if she starts talking to Rin and her mother again... It's just not the same. It can never be the same. And besides... she's deeply worried about Uncle Kariya, and wants to spend as much time with him as possible. She has a terrible feeling about his deteriorating health...

A few years pass them by, and Sakura slowly goes back to the sweet, kind girl she used to be. She buries her trauma and heartache, managing to reconcile with her mother better, but Rin... It's still a little difficult. If only because Rin keeps asking if Sakura wants to learn magic, and Rin just... she keeps assuming, and... Sakura doesn't like it. After her horrifying experiences with the Matou magecraft, Sakura has grown to... hate magic. Or at least, Sakura herself wants nothing to do with it. She has no opinion if Rin practices it.

Aside from the brittle connection with Rin, Sakura has also established a sibling bond with Shinji. He's not the nicest brother ever... But his father, at Kariya's insistence, tones down Shinji's worst qualities and punishes him when he steps out of line. Shinji does try getting Sakura to be more assertive and less of a wallflower... But to his frustration, Sakura's not keen to change her ways. Especially with Kariya's rapidly failing health...

And then one night, Kariya passed away in his sleep. No warning. For a little bit, it seemed like he might be recovering... Sakura got her hopes up, and then they were dashed. She was... inconsolable for weeks after Uncle Kariya's passing. After the funeral. She spent a lot of time alone, even with Shinji, Rin, and her mother checking in on her...

Around that time, Kirei also... "checked in" with Sakura. Technically, Rin was the only one he was supposed to take on as a student... Tokiomi made no contingency for Sakura. However, with how free-spirited Rin was, she was never going to be easily manipulated. Kirei had plans to raise Rin up only to crush her later, but Sakura was... vulnerable after Kariya's death. It was all too easy to take her on as a second reluctant student. Kirei relished the opportunity to destroy both of Tokiomi's children after molding them to his liking...

Unfortunately for the sadistic priest, not all goes according to plan. A couple of years after Kariya's death, Sakura met Shiro Emiya. (人◕ω◕) They attend the same school, with Shiro being in the same year as Rin, a year above Sakura. Shiro is... He's a lot like Sakura in that he's not very outgoing. Doesn't like to impose. He's a kind, gentle soul that just tries to help everyone... And Sakura really falls hard for the boy.

It doesn't take long for her "training" with Kirei to get severely behind schedule as she spends more time with Shiro before and after school, discovering that Shiro lives by himself with only Taiga-sensei checking in on him. ... Well, to say that Shiro's alone would be a vast... understatement. (人◕ω◕);;;;;;;;; After the Fourth War, Kiritsugu went to rescue Illya from the Einzbern's. Meeting Kariya in that war inspired Kiritsugu to power through his own injuries and rescue his daughter and bring her back to Japan. So... Sakura also meets Illya, who's a year above Shiro in school... And Illya is very protective of her little brother. (人◕ω◕);;; She's grumpy the first while that Sakura visits, but eventually gets over it when Sakura helps with chores around the house. ... Illya hates manual labor. (人◕ω◕)

More than that, however... Sakura discovers that Shiro technically has an adopted mother, named Maiya. But she's rarely home, as she's working all the time. She says it's to help put food on the table, but... Shiro and Illya know there's more to it, and Maiya's just not explaining herself.

The Middle Act

Over the next several years, Sakura grows close to Shiro (... and Illya, to some extent). They settle into a routine of Sakura coming by before and after school, the routine only broken up sometimes by Kirei who grows... impatient... with his second student. (人◕ω◕)

Before they know it, the Fifth Holy Grail War arrives. ... 50 years early. (人◕ω◕) Sakura receives a set of Command Seals, marking her as a Master... And she just doesn't show interest in participating. Not when Rin is definitely going to be fighting, too. Nevertheless, Kirei tempts her with prospects of the Grail, which has the power to bring Kariya back to her. And it's not like Sakura herself has to fight to kill her enemies... Certainly, there will be participants who will take advantage of her naivete, but it's up to her how she conducts herself in battle.

Sakura's not eager to throw herself into any kind of war... But with how the last one ended, she's worried about Senpai getting impacted and wishes to protect him. ... And if she can revive Uncle Kariya, that would just make her so happy... With Sakura onboard with joining as a participant, Kirei arranges for her to receive a relic to summon a spirit - Medusa, who is summoned as Rider Class.

... Shortly after the war starts in earnest, Sakura's devastated to hear about Senpai getting grievously wounded after stumbling on a battle between two Servants. But when she goes to check up on him the morning after that attack... It's a very awkward breakfast. (人◕ω◕) For one: Senpai apparently managed to summon Saber and become a Master. And Saber picks up on Medusa's concealed presence around the home. (人◕ω◕);;;

For two... Illya is also a Master. And she summoned Berserker, of all Classes...!

Sakura-chan is very anxious during breakfast, you understand. She and Saber both are. (人◕ω◕) Illya's not bothered in the slightest. If Sakura makes a stupid move, Berserker will smash. (人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕) Shiro plays peacemaker as usual, and it's really only his cooking that manages to keep everybody calm. He explains to Sakura that Rin is also a Master, and her Servant is Archer. Shiro doesn't feel good about blabbing about Rin, but Sakura deserves the head's up, especially since they agree to be allies in this war. Sakura's rather... eager... to agree to any alliance with Senpai. ... Even if Illya would rather deal with her now. There can only be one winner, after all... (人◕ω◕);;;

Unfortunately, Sakura and Illya hanging off of Shiro in the early part of the war makes Rin rather... distant. Unwilling to add to their alliance when that's four of the seven Servants right there. Even three of seven is overkill... It makes Sakura, Shiro, and Illya pretty easy targets. None of the other participants want to drag out that alliance... Caster makes a move first, figuring that taking Shiro hostage and attempting to steal Saber from him would tip the balance of the war in her favor...

Sakura and Illya don't let that stand, however. (人◕ω◕);;; Sakura leaves Medusa to take on Assassin at the gate, while Illya and Berserker race right in to wreck Caster's crap. (人◕ω◕);;; Medea wasn't too happy to see Heracles again, and she proves no match for him. Her Master is similarly dispatched when he tries to avenge Medea's defeat... Medusa manages to defeat Assassin.

... This does leave Rin in a regrettable state of affairs. (人◕ω◕);;; With Caster and Assassin dealt with, it's literally just down to her and whoever Lancer's Master is to deal with the... alliance. Archer is particularly determined to kill Shiro Emiya, and willingly agrees to work with Lancer to keep everyone else off of Shiro...

That... could have gone a lot better. (人◕ω◕);;; Lancer's Master reneged on the deal, leaving Rin and Archer alone to tackle the alliance. Rin had absolutely no chance, going up against Sakura, Illya, Rider, Saber, and Berserker. There was just no way. Sure, Archer tried to corner Shiro, but that proved detrimental to him as Rin grew angry about Archer trying to kill Shiro of all people, and using Command Seals to make him go strictly after the Servants.

Archer does try to sever their contract, but it proves inadvisable when he's up against Berserker, Saber, and Rider. As much as he has faith in his Unlimited Blade Works... Going up against all three at once is just too much. Archer gets a severe thrashing, and has a bitter exchange with Shiro before passing on.

That's when Gilgamesh makes his move and takes down Berserker, whimsically leaving Saber and Rider alone when they prove to be resilient. He kidnaps Illya, counting on her to be the Lesser Grail, and so wishing to cross swords with Saber once more as he elaborates on the Grail's true nature.

It comes down to a fight between Shiro, Sakura, Rin, Rider, and Saber up against Lancer, Kirei, and Gilgamesh. Rin finally comes around and helps Shiro able to get enough magic to access his Reality Marble.... Something that Sakura isn't too eager to let happen, as Rin has to be very intimate with Shiro to share her crest... But it's for the sake of rescuing Illya, so she allows it. (人◕ω◕);;; But she'll be having words later...

Medusa gives Lancer a hearty battle, and he loses. Shiro defeats Kirei, with Sakura and Rin for backup. And Saber defeats Gilgamesh. With the Grail just short of completion, they go after the Greater Grail, using Saber's mightiest attack to destroy it.

... And somehow, after all that, Saber and Medusa receive new mortal bodies. How... fun. (人◕ω◕)

The Future

... So how do you suppose this all ends, anyway? (人◕ω◕) I gave a bare-bones synopsis of the Fifth Grail War, and I apologize for devolving into that... But the bottom line is that Sakura was faithful and loyal to Senpai throughout the whole thing. (人◕ω◕) Despite other interested girls popping up, despite battles getting intense... Sakura-chan fought hard to protect her man. (人◕ω◕) For a while, she almost didn't care about resurrecting Kariya... Like, of course she wanted to bring him back... But if it cost her Shiro to do it, then it's not worth it. Trading one soul for another. Much less when the Grail wasn't working as intended, and Sakura-chan was very angry to hear that the tainted Grail was responsible for how her beloved Senpai became so scarred on the inside...

It was touch and go, keeping everyone alive... But even Artoria and Medusa got to stick around, how delightful is that? (人◕ω◕);;;

Sure, by the war's end she's pretty much patched things up with Rin-neechan, getting over her past hesitation and bitterness. They're a family. And families share. (人◕ω◕);;;;;;;;; Yes, share even boys they like... Sakura isn't so coldhearted as to turn Rin away when she and Shiro have a deep, intimate bond now. But Sakura isn't so keen to give up either. She won't let Illya hog Shiro all to herself, either. Or Artoria. (人◕ω◕);;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

But Rin knows Shiro isn't all okay... Archer was a piece of work, and she doesn't want Shiro turning out like that. Sakura agrees with neechan, and grudgingly allows Rin to take Shiro on as an apprentice and study at the Clocktower for a few years. Sakura doesn't like it, and understands Artoria and Illya's objections... But Senpai needs to clear his head. Figure out what he wants to do. And besides, Sakura doesn't have any affection for magic, no desire to study at the Clocktower herself. She'll patiently wait for Senpai's return... Sure, Rin will be in the doghouse after they get back, hogging Senpai for years...

But. It's. Fine. (人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕) Before Senpai departs for London, Sakura gives him a very special gift... Her virginity, to be precise. Is it extreme? Sure. But all these other girls around Senpai, Sakura-chan didn't have a choice. She knew what she wanted and she went for it. Everyone else will just hafta deal. (人◕ω◕)

In the meantime, she, Medusa, Artoria, Mitsuzuri, and Illya will watch over the house... and later explain everything to Maiya when she gets back, flabbergasted at the developments. (人◕ω◕);;; They have a looooooot of splaining to do~...

Shiro's in for a rude awakening when he gets back to Japan. Sakura will be at the forefront of the pack, wanting another round and wanting baby Shiro's... But that's a story for another time. You know that Sakura-chan will have proposed to him within days of his return. Cuz Sakura-chan knows what she wants. (人◕ω◕)

The bottom line with this ship is that they're not perfect. Shiro still lost Kiritsugu, and Sakura still lost Kariya. The latter just got a better childhood, and wasn't a pawn of Zouken. ... Not for very long. (人◕ω◕) Shiro still has his hero complex, wanting to protect and keep Sakura happy... And Sakura's about the same as him. She wants to support and care for Senpai, to bask in his warming presence~ This Sakura's just learned to stand on her own somewhat. ... And there might be some stuff to work through with Rin because of Kirei whispering in Sakura's ear for several years... But by the end of the Grail War, Rin showed herself to be reasonable and nothing like Kirei said.

The crux of my enjoyment of this ship... is that I can understand the criticisms that remark how Shiro throws everything else away, just to be with Sakura... I get that the Heaven's Feel route is... heavy. That's why I decided to entertain a Sakura that's a little less broken. She's still got bitterness and uncertainty about the Tohsaka's, and that's understandable. But she learns to move on with her life, and she's allowed to move on~... She's not at Zouken's mercy. That's just my two cents about the Sakura x Shiro ship. It's pretty cute and wholesome overall... Just don't have Shiro abandon everything else for Sakura. That's just me. XD

[garbinge]

And you?

Jax Teller & Steve Murphy (SOA x Narcos AU) For the @narcosfandomdiscord October Prompts. Day 22 - Day of Cross-Fandom-Pollination: Create a fanwork that includes at least one Narcos character and at least one character from another fandom.

Summary: Jax & Steve find themselves at two opposite ends of the law but still share some similarities... one of those being their genetics. This is basically brothers fighting <3 Word Count: 601 Warnings: All my fics are 18+, regardless of content. Angsty. Jax being a smug SOB and Steve thinking he's the shit.

A/N: I don't know where I got this idea from and I don't know any of the actual details of if this is in Charming or in Miami or what but.... I just felt like the moral compass within Jax and the moral compass within Steve deserved to be explored in the same moment. Oh and I made them brothers <3

Taglist: @drabbles-mc @justreblogginfics @narcolini @hausofmamadas @ashlingiswriting

Jax was making himself comfortable on the metal cot, a smug smile on his face. His blonde long hair was oily and disheveled while his white t-shirt was dirty and hanging loosely on him, likely from a long night out, one that resulted in his cell of a bedroom for the night. 

“Should we just set a standing appointment?” Steve said as he walked through the doorway to where all the holding cells were. 

“Yea but I know you have that weekly badge shining commitment with your other police pals so I don’t want to interrupt that.” He was moving his arms behind his head in an attempt to relax. 

“Steve looked down at his uniform, it had been a new addition to his life. One that was in the plans for years but nonetheless was new. 

“Another drunk and disorderly charge, huh?” Steve was leaning against the metal bars. The scene of him with his tan police uniform on, coffee in hand as he spoke to his little brother on the other side of the bars. 

“I think you’re forgetting resisting arrest, Deputy Steve.” The last two words were as sarcastic as they could come from a young Jax. 

“Tell me, is this just to get under my skin or do you get pure enjoyment from being in this police station?” 

Jax was quickly moving to stand up, his feet bringing him closer to the bars so he could be face to face with his older brother. 

“I don’t know, why don’t you tell me. Do you get pure enjoyment from being in this police station?” The sentence was spoken at a mocking tone. 

“I’d be careful with how you say things, Jax. I’m not the one behind bars.” Steve’s anger was rising, the wrinkle in his forehead was growing along with the pulsing of the vein there too.

“From where I’m standing, it doesn’t look much different.” Jax’s hand was now peaking over the bars as they lifted in a shrug. “A cell and a cot, a badge and a desk?” 

“We’re completely different.” Steve spoke in a way that was like he was trying to convince himself. 

“In the end Steve, we want the same things, sometimes even have similar ways of getting those things, violence, manipulation…” Jax was so nonchalant in his speaking. “You’re not a good guy, Steve. No matter how much you tell yourself that.” 

“And you?” The words were so quick to fall from his mouth, the anger, the frustration.

Jax smiled at that and just shook his head. “I don’t look in the mirror convincing myself of that. I know what I am, big bro.” 

The tension between the two estranged brothers grew until Steve cleared his throat. 

“Tara posted bail, you’re free to leave.” Steve’s voice was neutral, like they didn’t just have this heated discussion. The cell was opening, Steve stepping aside to let his younger brother walk past him to exit the holding cell and eventually the police station. 

Jax was at the doorway that separated the cells from the rest of the police station. The scum from the heroes, the people beneath the ones above when he stopped. He found the irony in it all, the hypocrisy as well. He looked down at himself and turned to his older brother and spoke words that he knew would hit Steve hard. It was his retaliation for the comment Steve made earlier and a way to combat Steve’s last sentence about being free to leave. The smile on Jax’s face was obsolete now, like he wasn’t going to take joy in the next words out of his mouth

“And you?”

[fundielicious-simblr]

(Lana's pov)

Newlywed life has been glorious! We've spent loads of time together, creating a routine for ourselves and just enjoying being married. Date nights are something we were advised to prioritise by almost everyone who gave us advice, so we've been going out once a week wherever we are or having date nights at home. Sometimes we're at a fancy restaurant, a small cafe, or we have a small picnic in the park - as long as we're together.

Since moving to Newcrest I've been loving being near Parker's brother and sister-in-law, they have the most kids out of all of Allan and Casandra's kids and she gave birth to their 11th child, Jackson, a few days after our wedding! I've loved getting to know the kids over the past few months and I'm happy that I can spend more time with them now that we live close by. I've also enjoyed spending time getting to know my fellow Kyleigh, at the reception Kyleigh, Stacie, Lorilee and I took a group selfie that we labelled the Mrs.Collins club. It's been great to hear her testimony and stories from her childhood and her walk with the Lord, she grew up an only child so it was so interesting hearing her experiences since I can't relate.

Little Jackson is such a cutie, he's still learning how to exist as a little human and is finding out new things about himself almost everyday. The great thing about being over at Kyleigh and Barrett's house is because there are so many children there's always someone to talk to, they have 3 toddlers in the house who love snuggles too, which I'm always down for. Some days when I have a few hours to spare, I'll ask Kyleigh what their plans are for the day and if there's any way that I can help. Sometimes I come over and read to the toddlers while Kyleigh focuses on school with the older kids, other days I come over just to keep the toddlers occupied because it's something I enjoy.

I don't just stick to the toddlers and infants, I've recently taken advantage of the hot summer weather and taken the older kids out for various activities. It's been great getting to know them and learn about their individual personalities and their interpersonal relationships. I had 3 of the girls in my bridal party and they're still talking about how much fun they had! None of the kids know how to roller skate, so our afternoon at the rink was a bit of a steep learning curve for them - but they did say they had fun regardless. We also had a water balloon fight in the park that's next to the skating rink, which is definitely fun when you have a big group of kids with you. As we were on the way home, all the kids could talk about was doing it again, which we're definitely going to have to do whilst they're still on summer holiday. Their family usually travels to an annual camp with Parker's parents and other relatives during the summer, but with the timing of Jackson's arrival they chose to sit this year out. Hopefully the adventures with the kids continue and we can add more kids to the mix as they grow older.

[nutmeg-cycling]

I love (hate) bicycle helmet discourse whenever it comes up, especially when it's largely from people in the US. I say this as someone who bikes in the US and, yes, wears a helmet.

Like to be clear, regardless of whether you individually should wear a helmet (I'd broadly encourage it but you do you): the cycling fatality rate (normalized by km traveled) in the US is about 5x higher than in the Netherlands. The injury rate is about 20x higher [1]. Not a typo. This is an older analysis, but more recent articles [2] indicate it hasn't changed much. (if you're in the UK you don't get out of this either; better than the US but still about 3x higher than NL for both categories)

So, mayyyybe rather than arguing with Dutch people about why they should wear helmets you might ask them what their country has done to make it 1/5th as likely you die on a bike and 1/20th as likely to get injured as over here.

This is without getting into the way that articles about cycling fatalities routinely use whether the cyclist was wearing a helmet as a way to exonerate the driver even when a helmet would not have saved them. Or the way that helmet laws are inherently going to impact disadvantaged groups (e.g. unhoused people, who are more likely to rely on a bike as a mode of transport) more [3]. And are generally unevenly enforced on top of that. Though, you know, keep all of that in mind.

To finish on a more positive note: we do know what the Netherlands does to be that good! It takes consistent improvement to get there, but also there's a ton of low hanging fruit that can be implemented relatively quickly. The Not Just Bikes youtube channel [4] and There Are No Accidents by Jessie Singer are excellent places to get started. And if someone tells you it's just not possible in the US they are lying; 50 years ago the roads in the Netherlands and USA were very similar. There's a lot of catch up to do but that's also well within the life expectancy of pretty much everyone reading this.

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

[sexyleon]

what are your rookie Leon headcanons, post re4 Leon headcanons and any fav recent brainrot headcanons? 😌❤️

AHHHHH!!

I'll be honest I haven't really solidified my thoughts on rookie Leon because I'm still trying to figure out his motivation for becoming a cop! I see Leon as more of a theatre kid in high school, so the jump from the arts to law enforcement seems like a big one. Part of me wants to say he saw some injustice happening while he was young and felt helpless to stop it, maybe even trying to rely on the law enforcement available to him with no success, and vowing to grow up and do better. Part of me also headcanons that Leon had a rough time growing up in the 80s-90s Midwest as an androgynous queer kid (though he would never label himself as such), and had to learn really fast how to defend himself and fight back. Law enforcement seems like a hyper-masculine career, and maybe he was influenced by others to join up!

Regardless, we all know Mr. Leon Scott Kennedy was top of his class and excelled in all his coursework. I don't know that he made many friends while in training, again because he's that one pretty boy everyone hates because he's 1) pretty in a hyper-masculine environment and 2) incredibly good at what he does, but I do think senior officers liked and appreciated him! After graduation, he was super excited to get the job offer at Raccoon City! It was finally going to be his chance to really help people and prove everyone wrong... He still thinks about how naive he was.

ldsjflsdjlfkdjs AS FOR POST RESIDENT EVIL 4. I HAVE A WHOLE WIP SITTING IN MY DRAFTS ABOUT THE IMMEDIATE AFTERMATH. tbh it's rEALLY LONG, so I'll just make a separate post about that!

Thank you for the ask <3 @nerime

[scribeforchrist-blog]

Believing & Relying On God

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

=========================

+ Job 42:2: “I know that you can do anything, and no one can stop you.

=========================

VERSE OF THE DAY

========================

+ 2 Thessalonians 3:2 and that we may be delivered from wicked and evil men. For not all have faith

‭‭=========================

** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM RELYING ON GOD

I AM BELIEVING ON GOD

I AM MIGHTY THROUGH GOD

I AM FILLED WITH PEACE

********************************

THOUGHTS:

=======================

     It's hard for people to believe in anything, especially the word of God. People will believe the meteorologist, a book, biography, documentaries, old wise tales, folklore stories, campfire stories, or things they see on Instagram and Tick-Tock. Still, when they read the word of God, they come to a complete stop. They won't even try to open their heart to believe, and that's when they lose faith; it's easy for us as believers to say I believe everything in the bible, and this is what I stand on, and even some believers dont believe everything in the bible. 

    The world has come to a place where everyone says they are a Christian. Still, some are just wearing the titles and others well they trust in Christ they full heartily believe in him ; but some say ; he didn't heal me when I wanted him to, he didn't save me when I wanted him to, or Why didn't he stop this situation when I asked him to and this is the thing , most of the time SOME of us , put ourselves in these predicaments. Still, the first person we want to blame is God, and he can change any situation, but in some situations, he won't because he's trying to show us where we went wrong. If we did wrong, and sometimes he’s trying to draw us closer to Him.

 Verse 3: But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one.

   God is faithful even if we don't believe in or doubt him. He still is faithful, and he will guard us against the evil one when we do what we should and we aren't playing into the enemy's traps or hands. He will keep the evil one on a leash, but when we start to dabble, or maybe it's our season, he will allow the evil one to do what he wants. To a certain extent, look at Job. 

    Job was a wise, righteous, blameless man, and satan went to God and said what about your servant Job, and God said sure, go ahead God knew Job was going to be faithful he knew that Job was going to have a hard time, but it made him better, God see what we are going through, but he know what we are going through will make us better and stronger if we never go through anything how our faith and trust in God will grow it won’t, the moment God gives us exactly what we won’t some of us go on about our day, but God wants people that are going to seriously stay and trust in him regardless if he gave them what they wanted, even when it's confusing can you do that can you believe in Jesus even when it's hard? 

    Job 2:4  “Skin for skin!” Satan replied. “A man will give all he has for his own life. 5 But now stretch out your hand and strike his flesh and bones, and he will surely curse you to your face.

   Verse  5  May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ.

      We all need the lord to direct us, even as Christians or believers; when we read the word of God, we need him to direct our path. A lot of times, our path isn't directed because we won't yield to the Holy Spirit, and we talked about this yesterday. We talked about how we must yield to the Holy Spirit.

    Psalm 119:30 I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I have set my heart on your laws.

      We will never change, and our faith will never grow until we let go and allow the Holy Spirit to dwell on the inside, guiding and showing us the way; we must be shown the way because as long as we are doing it, we are lead by the flesh and not by the Holy Spirit. After all, before any of us gave our lives to Christ, our selfish fleshly desires were leading us all. Still, now that we have Christ, we must have FAITH and believe and BE DIRECT, and allow him to show us a better way , and just because we are older and just because we have a title doesn't make us wiser; we are only wise when we let go and allow the Holy Spirit to build us up in the faith.

    ***Today, we talked about believing in God and truly allowing the Holy Spirit to order our steps; all the time, we must trust the process and believe that whatever is happening, whatever is in God's word, will stand. God's word doesn’t need anyone; it stands alone. We must understand the season we are in is to help us grow, and we must trust and believe that what’s happening now is temporary. It doesn’t last forever. The word of God says that, too, and it might hurt now. It might seem like every time you look, something is happening, and why should you trust God? Believe that just like Daniel, Peter, David, and Paul trusted, we do the same. He’s the same God today and forever. He doesn’t change. We do; let’s not change, let’s believe.   ©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

========================

PRAYER

========================

Heavenly Father, thank you so much for life, health, and strength. Lord, we love you so much. Please help us to believe in your word honestly and believe in you. Lord, sometimes life sends us in a different direction, and instead of us going in your way, will we keep going. Father, forgive us if we have wandered off the path if we done anything wrong. Forgive us; help us to stick with you; help us to seek you. Stay faithful; we thank you for being dependable, unchanging, loving, and kind. Please help us be those things in our relationship with you. In Jesus' Name Amen 

========================

REFERENCES

========================

+ 2 Corinthians 5:7 For we walk by faith, not by sight.

+ James 2:26 As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.

+ Mark 11:24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

========================

FURTHER READINGS

=========================

Proverbs 26

Acts 23

Zechariah 5

Exodus 12

=========================

[pheoblitz]

Just some more Léir art and fun facts for you all!

You may notice that compared to the image of him as a kid, his hair is black here not white*. That is because he dyes it black. He doesn't like to stand out and he felt his white hair stood out, so he dyed it. More recently his partner would be working with him on making him more comfortable with having his hair however the hell he wants it rather than letting others dictate it. He does genuinely like dying his hair black no matter what others think because he likes how it looks personally. So he mostly still dyes it. Though on occasion he lets some of it grow out and stay white.

* Do note he is a fantasy character, so when I say his hair is white I mean it in the same way random characters have bright pink hair in naturally in shows sometimes.

Some more fun facts:

- Léir is Bi² but is scared of women when it comes to the concept of dating. So he never dated any. Regardless though, he still likes them.

- The feathers around his ears are supposed to be his. He embraces his shifterness and likes to proudly sport the fact even if he has to do so in secret.

- He has 3 magic items on him at all times. His glasses, his pocket watch, or his sword. Sometimes he swaps out the pen or the watch for a crystal flower.

- The sword is disguised as a pen that can write in the air, use itself to write, act as a wand, or in its sword form, kill most types of immortals. It was enchanted to be a weapon used to fight and punish immortals. Due to this and the fear of the horrible things he has made, he keeps it on himself. He doesn't want someone to get it and then go around killing people at random. That being said, even when he first made it 1000s of years ago, it was seldom used.

- His pocket watch has basic time control abilities. When he first made it, it was a sundial. It can change shape and form depending on the times and who holds it. For example, with Johnson, it is a regular wristwatch. The watch can also steal and break down someone's magic. It too was made as a weapon back when he was younger to punish those who broke the law where he lived many many many years ago. It was supposed to serve as an ultimate punishment that isnt death by stripping someone in a magic society of their magic. He also deeply regrets this, so he keeps it with him permanently in an attempt to keep it from ever being used. Though it was only ever used once before. Note it was also made for life 1000s of years ago. He wishes to destroy it but has yet to succeed in doing so, past him was very thorough in protecting it.

- His glasses translate things for him. It changes text he sees into his native tongue as well as tells him what someone said in that same language. He doesn't need them too, but he prefers his language over English, so it helps him be less stressed out when it comes to understanding things. But again, he would do just fine without them besides being lightly stressed.

- The flower is just a really strong blast of combined types of magic that hold the souls of very destructive people. He keeps it on him on occasion, mostly because he feels it is safer if he breaks it apart and gives pieces to people he trusts to make sure it never sees the light of day unless necessary. So each time he has it, it gets smaller and weaker. Eventually, he will only have 1 chunk left and plans to embed it into the watch to stop both it and the watch from functioning.

[thisdreamplace]

Hi dream :) It’s 😵‍💫 anon.

The last few days have been tough, but somehow I feel better. Things feel ok, but there are some big changes I need to happen. I’m honestly a little scared because I’m not sure it’s even possible, but I don’t want to give up on it.

I have also discovered the roots to all of my problems. Like why I get triggered, why I speak or react a certain way, and even my coping. I know my previous anon messages seemed like I was on the right track….but I don’t think I was. I was doing what I used to do with the law, force feed positive thinking. Eventually I spiraled a day or 2 ago. But don’t get me wrong, I still learned from that as well. I depend on other people so much when it comes to the law that I don’t know how to function without checking blogs or just living. I say I have this mindset to keep going regardless but I don’t think I’m going forward as I truly should :( I’m moving, but I still feel so low. I move as if I am already defeated, but I have hope that maybe I can live this life I’ve dreamed of. That’s why I eventually fall every-time. I’ve just been so honest with myself.

One of the craziest things is, I see the negativity I hold inside reflected in my outside world. I’m not confident in my driving skills, and so people are scared to drive with me (this initially pissed me off so bad but then I thought, are they wrong tho? Look at what you think about your skills as well.). I get so snappy and down when certain people come around because I expect them to do something I don’t like (I have a negative perception for some people), and so other people have a negative perception of me. And you know what’s funny? There’s a person in my life who doesn’t believe in me, but they still force positive reinforcement when they don’t mean it….. but thats exactly what I do to myself. I don’t believe in anything good for me, but I still try to force positive words when I don’t mean it. I see me in everything that I don’t like. I was frustrated with it all but I started thinking “this is showing you what you should stop doing”. It’s helping me step out of this negative box I’ve built.

When it comes to Manifesting my dream reality, I’m not sure how I feel about it now. Well, I do know, but I just hate to admit it. For some reason, it’s so hard for me to step into this mindset that I am open for positive things. I’m not sure where to go from here, sadly. It feels like I’ll never be able to manifest. I don’t know why it’s so hard to believe in myself and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to. I don’t think I can manifest and I guess that’s what holds me back. That’s the only thing I haven’t been able to get to the root of, why can’t I manifest my dream reality? Idk. It’s frustrating. So I’m still moving forward regardless, but it doesn’t feel good at all.

I wish I could’ve given you a positive update today, dream. I’m learning & growing, but extremely stuck at the same time. Although this is not a happy message, it still feels like a little bit of good came out of this time. I truly get what you mean when you said you can’t fool yourself. It’s about within. We cannot run away from the problem that keeps coming back.

I’m just at this point of feeling down, but also letting everything be. Idek lol.

hello again wonderful anon <3

tbh i understand you entirely, and it's a thing i have to tell myself a lot as well. but the truth is... this is where you just keep moving forward in trust. i get it, you feel you could be doing things differently or maybe you're not doing something right but. this is the patience and grace we must afford ourselves in all of this... i think a thing not talked about is how happiness doesnt come overnight. because this community is obsessed with instant results, so we don't acknowledge the fact that the difficult times may not just end in a couple days all because we found our way. these things linger, way more than even i'd like to admit. i think that though,.. the most important thing in all of that is moving forward anyway. sure you feel like something is off, but why not begin practicing some trust in yourself then, along this path ? you'll lead yourself where u need to be. but thats smth you have to allow. let go of the need to over analyze yourself.

i'm glad u noticed that reflection of yourself in your world, and thus are able to being letting go of those things that aren't helpful for you.

when it comes to the manifesting and everything, tbh, i say put it on the back burner. this is the easiest way to move forward, at least for me it has been. when i stop relating everything to manifesting, and just seriously live life in the best way i can, everything falls into place. this is because manifesting isnt actually something to figure out or effort at. it's just a natural effect of being alive. so let it be natural and forget about it. focus on these things instead, that have to do with you. for example, see if it feels easier to believe in yourself when youre not relating it to manifesting anymore, but just simply living your daily life doing the little things you need to do for you. suddenly, you may see its actually not that hard to slowly allow in more real positivity for yourself, when its not based on manifesting anything but just based on you.

this will be a cycle you have to break, slowly but surely. when you put all of your faith into the law or manifesting or whatever, it's hard because you saw it as your savior. slowly, transition to seeing how only you can save yourself and you can start right now, waiting on nothing. working with life as its presenting itself and not as you wish it was, making you feel against it.

its a process, dear 😵‍💫 anon. and the truth is you never need apologize for a more difficult ask... its part of the process and its a process i know well. i wouldnt expect you to be perfect and bursting with happiness overnight. or even in a week. instead, all i hope is that you continue to wake up and give yourself a true chance. thats what really counts, little by little. ❣️

[osc-piastri]

anyways earth-557 my love <3

i'll be honest it feels a little weird talking about it after so long...

so. i think i want to keep a bit of the original idea -- you know, crime being rampant across the world, many people living within poverty unless they're willing to go the extra mile and commit various crimes that they probably wouldn't do unless they're really desperate.

not to say that law enforcement isn't a thing! it most definitely is, but it's highly corrupted (so really, nothing different from real life) and chances are if you can pay just the right amount, you're able to bribe your way out of seeing the walls of a cell. and if you're high enough on the crime hierarchy, you're never even going to know what the back of a cop car looks like or even worry about coming into contact with those guys.

i do want to keep an organization (separate from the government, because they're also corrupted. lol) that is working on stopping crime where they can. i might brainstorm the name + a suitable acronym when i get the time. but for the basics of it, it's a very underground organization, with most of the members being people without powers or special abilities. they're quite picky about who they let in, since they don't want anyone with ill intentions infiltrating their organization. clarke mannix, one of my ocs, is of course part of this organization but the only reason she's in it is because her parents were agents (thinking one died on a mission and the other retired), without it and if she didn't have any other connections into the facilities, she probably wouldn't be an agent now. this organization is set on controlling the increasing crime rates, by weeding out those within the higher parts of the hierarchy and taking them out one by one. thinking their original solution was to kill them off one by one... but over the years they've been adapting their strategy and restructuring old prisons (separate from the system) and even attempting reform strategies. they also perform raids from time to time. there's a lot of positions within this organization, from agents to doctors and therapists to leaders. it's a whole thing.

and then there's the crime organizations, that very much operate as a very complicated spider web. when you think there's several, there's actually one that divides into smaller groups and gives these smaller orgs power. they're all linked together, take one out and you're likely to find a link to another. these are the people who "run the world," taking what they want when they want it, regardless of who they hurt. they seek power and only power, and very rarely do they ever back down from a fight. i think a few of the smaller groups operate as gangs, with some having rivalries and alliances with others. octavia wu was part of one of the middle groups, so not too far down the hierarchy but high enough that if you wanted out, it was likely only through death. she operated as a hacker for this group and got them into any place they wanted to go -- until one mission that involved explosives and killing more than a dozen civilians. she's a prime example of what happens when leaving, because the ring can't just let anyone walk free. while they have the power, they are aware of the anti-crime organization growing, and do not want them alerted to their usual operating spots. this is why tavia goes on the run, how she loses her family and eventually has to fake her own death.

when tavia "dies," she enters the upper lower part of the hierarchy. she still has enough to survive, much more than others within society, so she could be in the middle class, if only for the fact that she isn't supposed to be alive at this time. i think people at this point still commit crimes, though not as badly as gangs and the entire web might. an example of this might be the newest addition to the 557 family, lark. he's generally a good person, and honestly i could even see him working as one of the lab people for the anti-crime organization, considering his original job as a dna analyst. anyways, lark might be affiliated with the good side, but he still uses his speed to infiltrate into the higher ups' spaces, to give back to the less fortunate. the worst he's done is breaking and entering with a lot of stealing involved, but what else is he going to do? he's got a kid to feed

anyways. this miiiiight flesh out the general idea for society within earth-557???? though i might be missing some stuff too. i'll write some stuff on my characters at some point (probs not tonight bc i'm hungry + need to shower) buuuut if anyone has any questions that'd be chill bc there are definitely things i haven't thought about that others might

[phlebasphoenician]

Alright, I’m infuriated by this for a few reasons.

The first is that the companies know this can be used for plagiarism:

“I think this is going to come to a head in the courts,” says Yu. “It hasn’t yet. It’s still kind of a grey area. If, for example, you put in the words ‘Call me Ishmael’, GPT-3 will happily reproduce Moby-Dick. But if you are giving original content to a large language model, it is exceedingly unlikely that it would plagiarise word for word for its output. We have not encountered any instances of that.”

Quote taken from the article cited in this reddit thread - AI is rewriting the rules of creativity. Should it be stopped?

The AI can plagiarise - if you give it the right inputs.

This is much the same thing as the way that art producing AIs are making artworks with striking similarities to artists original works when given the right inputs.

Companies are now asking artists to label the 'styles' of their art in order to make this kind of thing easier.

I understand why AO3 is a target for this kind of thing:

It's a huge dataset - there are over 8 million works in it.

It's already formatted and tags helpfully label the stylistic choices and common tropes.

It's free to use and easily accessible.

In effect, the companies are saying that this is not their problem by outsourcing the ethics of the situation to the users:

While we will not limit the use of generated images, we ask users to use their best legal and moral judgment and ensure that their work does not infringe on the rights of others in all cases, regardless of whether you use image generation or not.

Quote taken from the announcement that Clip Studio Paint will include an experimental image generator palette in their Winter Update.

You might notice a similar approach in the way Twitter is approaching the FTC requirements that it is legally bound by.

According to messages shared in Twitter Slack, Twitter’s CISO, chief privacy office, and chief compliance officer all resigned last night.

An employee says it will be up to engineers to “self-certify compliance with FTC requirements and other laws.”

From a Tweet by Casey Newton on November 11.

Here's my personal issue with this situation.

Fanwork creators are bound to not make money of our works. That's one of the things which differentiates us from canon and we put in the effort to make our works transformative.

We do it for love.

We make it accessible so that other fans can share in that love.

But now some companies are barging into our spaces - Deviant Art, Clip Studio Paint, AO3 - and using our works to fuel their AIs.

Whose products they are selling for money.

These companies talk about how they are trying to benefit the world, to grow the human experience, to elevate humanity to the highest pinnacle of human achievement.

But what they're actually doing is making a saleable product.

There is one difference here though and that's because AO3 is the Archive of Our Own. It's owned and run by fans, it makes no money.

So please don't send them a ticket trying to raise awareness of this issue. AO3 staff are volunteers, they have a limited bandwidth. They're not a company that needs to be convinced of the seriousness of the problem by flooding them with complaints, that will only reduce the energy they have for dealing with it.

I know that any works which have already been mined will be used. I feel violated by it, but that horse has bolted. I don’t think that my works are in any way special or unique, but they’re mine and I made them with love. I don’t want them used like this.

So I'm doing the only thing I can which is to lock all of my works so that they're only viewable to people who are logged in to AO3.

I don't like doing that, I've never done it before, and I hate that as fans we are now left with the unenviable choice between letting our work be stolen and hiding it from other fans who might want to enjoy it.

It's a loss on both sides.

If you're a writer or an artist who chooses to go this route, just as I have, here's how.

Step 1: On your dashboard is a button that says 'Edit Works' - click on that.

[image id for this image and all following images:

screenshots showing the locations of the buttons referenced in the text.

end id]

Step 2: That will take you to a page titled 'Edit Multiple Works' where you'll find a button in the top right corner that says 'All'. If you click that it will select all of your works. You can of course also work through your list of works and decide which ones to lock and which to leave open. Then click on the button labelled 'Edit'.

Step 3: You'll then be taken to a page that looks just like a page for editing any existing work. Here's the important part to remember for this bit:

Your edits will replace the existing values! (If you leave a field blank it will remain unchanged.)

Leave everything blank except for the section called 'Visibility' - change that to the option 'Only show to registered users'.

Click on the button at the bottom of the page labelled 'Update All Works' and you're done.

Good luck to us all.

I love it when anons/guests find my works and kudo/leave reviews, but given the new revelation that Elon Musk is using bots to mine AO3 fanfiction for a writing AI without writer's permission, my works are now archive-locked and only available for people with an AO3 account.

[queer-and-nd-coded]

dream a little dream of me/oh, darling, i dream of you every night - fictober 2023

Day 3 - #10 "It's alright, I'm here now" Good Omens fanfiction - Crowley/Aziraphale + Crowley & Muriel Teen and Up Audiences Mentions of nightmares Read at ao3

Summary: Ever since Aziraphale left, Crowley has nightmares every time he tries to sleep. They only stop when Aziraphale comes back.

It is a clear assumption that sleeping comes with dreaming. Such a fundamental law of nature applied to all beings, even demons such as Crowley. He didn’t know what they served for, though, the damned things. Design of the subconscious mind was not his department at the time, not even close. And trying to figure out their purpose or meaning on his own was much like trying to put together a black and white puzzle. Completely useless. So, in the end, he just gave up and tried to accept that every now and then, he’d dream.

The dreams weren’t the biggest issue, though. Sure, sometimes they got annoying and completely unreal, but that’s just how dreams were, according to conversations he had overheard.

No, the real problem was the nightmares.

As a demon who occasionally went to Hell, Crowley had seen some pretty ugly things. As a demon who had been living on Earth for the last six thousand years, he’d seen worse. Oh, so much worse.

And it didn’t matter how much he tried to repress those memories through drinking, they’d always resurface during his sleep, eventually. But still, it was manageable. Even his worse nightmares would wear off after some time. And, if he stayed awake long enough, he’d barely remember them. Another characteristic of the subconscious mind that he had no participation in, but was grateful for, regardless.

However, that whole situation took a turn when Aziraphale left.

Suddenly, his annoying and mildly disturbing nightmares became unbearable. Putting his head down no longer meant the break from life he used to get, now it only meant more torment and regret. Why it took him so long to figure out his feelings? Would things have ended up differently if he had talked first? Why, after everything Heaven had done, Aziraphale walked back willingly and didn’t even consider running away? Again?

Suddenly, a soft hand on his back pulls him away from his thoughts.

“Shhh,” he hears a soothing voice above him.

“Aziraphale?” he tries, groggy but hopeful.

“Yes, dear, I am here,” he said softly, “You were talking in your sleep again… another nightmare, I suppose?”

Crowley finally opens his eyes. The room is too dark for him to make sense of anything, but he is sure that it’s Aziraphale in bed with him. Aziraphale’s voice, Aziraphale’s smell, and Aziraphale’s hand on his back, rubbing it gently so, in a way only he could do. He also knows that it’s their bed. In their hou- no, cottage. Their cottage somewhere at South Downs. Yes, he knows all this. And knowing all that, he starts calming down. A deep breath leaves his mouth. He’s so in peace that, for a moment, he thinks he could starting crying of relief.

“It’s alright,” Aziraphale says, somehow softer now, “I am here now.”

Crowley smiles, a warmth growing on his chest. Then he opens his mouth to answer, but before he can say anything, a loud noise brings him back to reality.

“Sorry!” he hears someone say.

It’s Muriel, standing at the door, embarrassed that they couldn’t hold it before the wind slammed it shut. They are holding something but that’s the least of Crowley’s worries now.

He looks around, completely disoriented. He’s at the bookshop. Again. Back to where it all went down. Except he’s got no memory of getting there. He looks around, trying to find clues, but any booze that he brought with himself days ago has already been cleaned up by Muriel. They also provided the tartan blanket that kept him warm for the whole time he slept on Aziraphale’s chair.

It’s too much. The chair, the blanket, the books, the busy street outside… it’s all there. Except for Aziraphale, who now only existed in Crowley’s dreams. Either to remind him of everything he’d done wrong or to give him some sort of comfort, that was immediately ripped way the moment he woke up. He wondered if being at the bookshop had anything to do with it, given that every time he had slept at his flat so far, he had nothing but nightmares. To the point that he even gave up on sleeping, of all things.

Oh. That’s right. He was starting to remember it now. When he no longer could sleep, he started drinking again. Bottle after bottle after bottle… he must have let his feet wander and eventually ended up at the bookshop. That made sense.

He was about to ask Muriel if his theory was correct, right when they walked up to him, handing him something.

Coffee, apparently.

“What’s that?” he asked anyway, lamely.

“Oh! Well… Nina from across the street sent it. She said it’s not your… usual but it will be good for you.”

Crowley took it with no further questions, which seemed to please the angel . He notice d that they didn’t have anything for themself. He didn’t dwell on it, though. It wasn’t his job to tempt angels into enjoying human food. Not anymore.

Muriel went to rearrange some books, but before they were out of earshot range, Crowley said something.

“Thanks.”

They turned around to face him. And with all the inflection of a mediocre actor on a play for very young and dumb children, they bowed slightly and said, “ Noo problem!”

Crowley narrowed his eyes and drank from his cup, trying not to find that endearing. Because it wasn’t. It was pathetic. But they’d get the hang of it, eventually.