#(and yes... actually timed 5-8 hours of work time! like I was actually working/studying during that full time!)

[links-studies]

im trying to get started on a research project but I've been taking it easy after I finally got through finals and graduated last semester, so my soul wants to jump right into it and get into the nasty math right away but my brain keeps going "please... I am mush... I do not have that much focus time in me right now"

[komohine]

hello oh my gyad you’re my favourite artist EVER. I love the warm tones of your drawings and the way you draw keith and james is so so pretty (you have 100% converted me to be a jaither) like seriously keith is gorgeous and the outfits you draw him in are ethereal. I have many questions ive been brewing for a little bit and you don’t have to answer all of them but feel free idunoo👍👍👍

1. in the college au, does keith have his cheek scar? if so, how did he get it?

2. what is james’ and keith’s favourite thing to do with each other in free time? in every and any au you have

3. how does wearing clothes bode for james in the android au? does every tiny string get caught between the metal or does he just not wear a shirt half the time? or the third more sinister option, fabric just doesn’t catch in the plating at all

4. what colour are keith’s eyes.

5. does james play any sports/instruments like every freakish extracurricular absent parent having kid ever?

6. thoughts on the keith neurodivergent headcannon?

7. would james ever introduce keith to his family? or is he no contact/they wouldn’t care?

8. do you headcanon keith with any galra features? if so, what are they?

9. favourite food and colour headcanons for the both of them?

10. do you think keith would have any piercings?

+ a singular drawing request, soggy keith (thankyu for reading c:)

Hello i love you guys take notes from this anon please ask more questions like this i wish tumblr allowed me to answer a question more than once but PLEASE ASK HUGE QUESTIONS LIKE THIS I LOVE YAPPING ‼️😄 I LOVE YAPPING ‼️😄

Also THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMEBTS HEEHEE 🙏 i try my very best to deliver fire content 🫡 which is why i havent posted a finished piece in a while… im cooking… 😈 also its way too late for me rn to get out of bed and draw so i will reblog this with soggy keith… sometime later…

Beware a huge freaking wall of text… but id appreciate it so much if anyone reads and responds to my headcanons and adds on 😄

1) TW: ASSAULT. i was debating this, and i think yes but its much smaller than the one he has in canon. He gets it in roughly the same way, an altercation with kuron (evil shiro, except kuron is just a major asshole who isn’t related to shiro but tries to take his place through manipulation. Keith (and everyone except james actually) fell for it). Keith eventually confronted kuron outside a bar after repeated attempts to get closer with keith during their night out and kuron got pissed and pulled a knife. Fortunately keith is also an mma legend and wiped kurons ass but he got a pretty bad cut on his cheek. James made sure everyone knew about what kuron did (james is hella connected because of his parents wealth and also bcs he was trained for a while to inherit his parents company. Also, James is an incredibly smooth talker and can convince anyone of anything. So kuron pretty much has zero chance at a job in the future cause he got blacklisted from everywhere lol). This is me painting sheith as the weird freaky violently uncomfortable shit it actually is lol 😄

2) canon compliant: literally anything that isn’t high risk and stressful. Cooking, reading, sitting on the couch watching bad horror movies and shouting out plot predictions and then laughing when they’re right. Because theyve had too much drama in their life. They really appreciate the times when they can wind down. Playing fetch with kosmo is also fun, because yk teleporting wolf, so they need to get creative to get kosmo to exercise.

College AU: similar, chill things. But because of james’ absolutely insane schedule and keith’s investigative work about his father’s unusual death, they don’t really get much time together outside of studying together, lunch dates (james always makes time for lunch. Well he tries, but he has notoriously bad scheduling luck so he’ll end up with back to back classes from 8 am to 9 pm, no lunch break, or random 2 hour gaps where he needs to go off campus to a diff location for his next class so he cant acc spend those 2 hours relaxing its just him fighting downtown phoenix traffic), etc. but they’re both pretty outdoorsy, so both him and keith like going camping when they can. Its a nice break for the both of them. Also james made keith run a marathon with him once. Keith barely survived, snd slept for 18 hours after, but it was fun! In return keith dragged james to his mma gym and tried to get him to do a kick (because james is one hell of a sprinter. He has sprinter legs. That should theoretically translate super well into an insanely strong kick) but james was too nervous. every time he stepped in the ring he’d just stand there awkwardly and not move. He did send one of those punching bags flying with a kick though after he worked up the confidence (keith was right!)

Android au: uhhh kind of not applicable i fear. I cannot say why. But sometimes james lets keith clean his gun. When things get rough, he’ll let keith fix him up if there’s anything broken.

3) lowkey the sinister third option. Maybe they have some special super tightly knit fabric that’s impossible to catch on things. But also, the androids are designed pretty well, and are surprisingly devoid of super snaggy edges

4) violet. In human au, black, but im a firm believer of him having dark eyes that shine a dusty violet when the light hits them just right

5) canon compliant: TRUMPET AHHAH HES A TRUMPET PRODIGY no actually it makes me a little mad just how good he probably is at trumpet. Like gorgeous, bright tone. Huge dynamic range and lung capacity. Im so mad. Probably also piano. And fencing. He is also extremely good at sabre fencing. And i was saving this hc for later but wtv ill just repeat it: james was the one who taught keith how to wield a sword because i refuse to believe keith picked up his bayard and it formed into a sword just because. No man, its because james would beg keith to practice fencing with him and keith would finally relent and james would teach him pretty much all he knows. And keith remembered those lessons.

College au: track and field. Specifically, sprinting. James is acc so good at sprinting that he went to the olympics twice and won silver in the 200m the first time, and gold in the 100m the second time (lets pretend youssef flash (usain bolt counterpart) stayed home that year for whatever reason). And also ballroom dancing! Like waltzes and shit. Hes such a loser. And probably piano and trumpet too but they’re not so important lore wise.

6) YEEESSSS i also believe in james being neurodivergent in some way. No neurotypical man likes finance that much (my personal headcanon. Also in college au he does high level 1000 page math workbooks for fun.)

7) canon compliant: i havent thought that much abt james’ family in the canon universe. Tbh theyre probably all dead (hence why he reacted so harshly to hunk in that one scene) by the time he and keith get together officially so there’s not much he can do. He’d take keith to his sisters grave just to tell her the news (his older sister was the only person in his family of like 7 that gave a fuck abt him). During their garrison days, he probably never mentioned keith as a way of protecting him from his family.

College au: yes! He tried! Unfortunately his homophobic republican christian parents did not appreciate it. James really introduced keith as a last olive branch because he was alr so close to cutting them off, but their reactions were so bad he lost his temper in public (never before seen) and stormed out halfway through their planned lunch dragging keith by the wrist. And then he cut them off.

8) me personally no. If im being so fr every time i see galra feature Keith it always comes across as infantilizing in some way? 😭 like “ooo kitty ear keith!” somehow you are infantilizing both asians AND a completely made up race guys. The only real feature is maybe his funny coloured eyes? But galra eyes are yellow so uhhh… but i think internally there’s a lot more galra presentation. Like his heat/sickness tolerance, sleep cycle, endurance, etc.

9) i havent really thought of this, i have colours I personally associate with them but hmmm. (Canon compliant, but probably applies to all of my aus) Keith’s favourite colour? I dont think he would really have one specific one but he might list off some colour combos he thinks looks nice. Like red and black. Hes also not super picky, but he really misses his dad’s halo halo. James is too depressed to have a favourite colour. And he likes anything that is a painful experience while consuming. Like very strong and bitter black coffee, straight everclear, your most acrid cigarettes. Because he hates himself.

10) in my college au he has a snake bite! Only one though, on his right (our left) side. Also he has his lobes pierced. I dont think he’d have anything in canon compliant, just bcs his hair is already pushing the garrison guidelines and i dont think they’d let him pierce anything. Maybe earlobes, but thats it. Same goes for android au.

[novankenn]

From Assassin to Sales Clerk AU : Another Day. Another Dollar

== > @pilot-boi YESSS BLAKE GET HER ASS

Okay but Blake immediately jumping to “Okay this is what you do when you fall in love with a mark” makes me wonder if Yang was a mark at some point (or probably Ruby was, and she fell for Yang during the process)

Blake didn't have a since clue or reason why she kept showing up for her shifts at the Pumpkin Pete's Novelties. It was not like she needed the money, or the headache of a 9 to 5, which was actually a 9 to 9. Though she did get an hour for lunch and two additional fifteen minute breaks.

Of course there was also Deery. Blake felt sorry for her fellow faunus. Trapped in a dead-end job to try and save for college, while also live above the poverty line. It had seriously done something to her. Anyway, Blake was only about two hours into her shift. A very dull, slow shift when the door chimed. Looking up to greet the potential customers as the handbook dictated, Blake instead froze.

"Blake?" came a voice that had always sent pleasurable shivers down her spine. Violet eyes. A flowing mane of blonde hair. Blessed with a pillowy endowment. Yang Xaio Long, Daughter of Tai Xaio Long and Raven Branwen. The mark that had just about ruined her career.

"Yang? What... what," Blakes tongue was tripping over itself. "What are you doing here?"

"What, no hey or hello?"

Sorry. Hello, and welcome to Pumpkin Pete's Novelty Shoppe." Blake rattled off the stipulated greeting. "My names is Blake B. If you require any assistance, feel free to ask me, and I will be happy to assist."

"Damn, Kitty-cat," Yang was almost in tears from holding in her laughter. "From aspiring trust fund author to wage-slave, what happened?"

"AH... I invested in BitLien, and it didn't work out so well."

"Oh, shit. Sorry to hear that Blake." Yang responded while wiping away her tears with the back of her hand. "Things that tough you needed to get a job?"

"No, I'm stable, just wanted something to do."

"You sure you're okay?" Yang asked again, an unmistakable tone of concern in her voice.

"Yes, I'm okay Yang." Blake replied as her mind drifted back to how this blonde almost derailed her career. It was what was known colloquially by those in the know as a "Punishment Job". In this case Raven Branwen and her tribe started interrupting things she should never have touched. "So what brings you here?"

"You mean aside from your pretty face, Kitty-Cat?" Yang grinned.

"Obviously, as until you walked in you didn't know I worked here." Blake deadpanned.

Blake remembered the first time she truly laid eyes upon Yang. She was skinny dipping with her friends. Totally carefree, to the world around them.

Now, Blake prided herself on no colleterial. Blake was also a "close-and-personal" operator, meaning there would be too many witnesses if she made her move here. So obviously she couldn't with Yang, while surrounded by her friends. So she hunkered down to study and learn more about Yang through observation. It had nothing to do with the fact everyone was naked, or the fact that Blake was a bit of a pervert.

So she watched, finding herself drawn more and more away from Yang's assets, to her face, to her deep violet eyes. To her light laugh. and happy attitude. After that day, every time Blake closed to do the work, she hesitated.

"So, Rubes had become a fan of retro games, and I mean like 8 bit and 16 bit ones." Blake blinked her eyes finally zoning back into the conversation. "Anyway I think I remember Pumpkin Pete publishing a couple of stinkers, and was wondering if there was a way I could get my hands on them?"

"I'm not sure, but I think I remember seeing some in storage." Blake replied, "Though I'll have to ask Deery to make sure."

"That's great!" Yang exclaimed, a thousand watt smile crossing her face. Blake's heart slammed against her ribs.

Blake was done. Adam, her ex-partner had come to complete the contract... and put Blake in her place. Blake had fought back, but Adam had size strength and more experience on his side. Blake was over matched and soon found herself struggling to free herself from Adam's crushing hands about her neck. Hands that suddenly went limp.

Blake was confused, until she saw Yang standing behind Adam with a cracked... Cricket Bat in her hands. Apparently Yang had heard a commotion, saw Blake in trouble and grab the first thing she found. Which was a discarded Cricket Bat. Grabbing Blake's hand, Yang pulled her along and the pair excaped.

Blake later that night tracked down the severely concussed Adam... and removed him. That same night Blake gouged her accounts and bought out the contract rights. Securing her as the only one that could complete the job, and that she would be doing it pro-bono.

"So I have a break coming up soon." Blake informed Yang, while reaching out and gently touching the tips of Yang's fingers with her own. "You want to do a little catching up?"

Yang's smile told Blake she had made the right decision, and maybe just maybe Pyrrha would come to understand that she was too.

(A/N - So out of one image... I have snippets and random posts from TWO inter-connected AUs. Thanks to @pilot-boi for inspiring these ideas. )

[jellyfish-grave]

(screaming into a megaphone) I THINK THE FRENCH BAC IS BULLSHIT (huuuuge ramble under cut. Read at your own risk)

listen. I have arguments.

Finals are coming for me like. Right tomorrow, yeah? Yeah. The written trial consists of two options: You can either write a dissertation on a given subject (which you have studied through the year. There's only 4 parcours in the year) OR you can make a text commentary (but it's on a text you've never heard of before and it's not linked to any of the parcours you studied).

On paper it sounds okay (if not slightly unfair that both exercises are judged the same way, despite the fact that you have much more knowledge to back up your dissertation if you chose that). It tests the student's ability to think for themself, to use knowledge that was given through the year or to use personal culture in order to make an interesting reasoning!

The first time they tried this out they realised "hmmm wait everyone is failing, maybe that's cuz the expectations are too high" and yes! Exactly! That's cuz we're introduced to the exercise of dissertation the very same year that we're expected to make a full one. Before that? Barely mentioned. We make around 4 of them throughout the year, and we're never EVER given a full example. The only examples we get are detailed plans, but never a fully written out dissertation.

You'd think "oh, then the simple solution is to either lower the stakes, or introduce the exercise earlier in the education, right?" and yeah that does sound logic. But what change was made, you ask? Oh. Simply give all the answers through the year.

That's right. We get full on answers for the full dissertation during the year, and you could argue that the subject isn't the same during the year compared to the end of the year's prompt, however. All subjects basically boil down to the same core elements but written out differently. They decided that since students of our age aren't capable of making clear and complex reasoning/analyses of a given subject, they should just. Give us the answer.

This kills the entire purpose of the exercise. I don't think of myself as some literary genius or some shit, but i do think I'm capable of basic reasoning. But that's not what's being tested here.

Besides, if your dissertation plan doesn't fit their exact expectation, your entire work will be labelled as out of subject, completely killing the idea that multiple people can think of multiple reasonings. Which is. Yk. The entire point of a dissertation.

I know I'm being overly dramatic, but for people like me who have horrible memory problems, I just feel like this is entirely unfair. This isn't constructed at all because I didn't try to, my brain is turned off after 5 hours of memorizing the exact order stuff should be brought up in. We aren't allowed the fucking books the subject is about during the trial. What's the point in that?? At what point in life will you actually need the skill to be able to make a literary commentary without the actual support???

Even funnier! Yk how I mentioned you can also make a text commentary? Yeah! You don't get the answers for the text commentary during the year. And the expectations haven't gone down. It's basically a suicide to pick that unless you've got huge personal culture to enrich your arguments. It's highly unrecommended by all my teachers so far for a reason.

Should I even go on about the oral trial? You need to site by heart the exact explanation of the text (one out of 12 extracts your studied during the year) line by line out loud. It's bullshit. You get 30 minutes to prepare (which. Btw. Isn't enough.), then you have a grammar question (really the only fair thing about this whole thing.), and then you need to present one of the 4 (8 for some people) books you had to read during the year. You can thankfully choose the book, but this is STILL learning a lesson by heart.

It's not teaching you critical thinking. It's not valuing your opinion, it's not valuing a student taking risks and talking about a subject in an interesting way, because you're expected to do the exact thing the teachers want. A very specific plan. Even the main question your entire work is centered around is just a rewording of the subject.

What is the point? What. Is. The point.

[star-spangled-bastard]

tagged by @phenanthreneblue and @wondrouswendy

Thank you both!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

7

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

51,300. probably about 53,000 by the time I finish uploading the last chapters of Sacred Geometry

3. What fandoms do you write for?

So far only Control currently, though sometimes I'll think of like one (1) line for a potential fic for other fandoms. I just haven't turned them into anything.

4. Top five fics by kudos

After Hours: Trench/Darling - sort of a "missing scene" from The Time Between

The Time Between: Trench/Darling - A look at the evolution of their friendship/relationship and its tragic trajectory

Anathema: A character study of Trench slowly learning to come to terms with his new paranatural abilities and learning how to resent them a little less in the process.

A Stolen Moment: Trench/Darling drabble from a prompt list

Point of Contention: A Marshall-centric fic set during Trench's final days as Director, with Marshall trying to navigate the complicated fallout of Trench and Darling's friendship on a personal and bureaucratic level

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes, always! I appreciate comments so much and that people take the time to write them!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It's probably between Point of Contention and The Time Between but- oh god here comes Sacred Geometry with a steel chair!

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Anathema, I think. Though it is a little overshadowed by what we know ultimately happens later.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, thankfully

9. Do you write smut?

Very rarely and even then it has to be a character study

10. Craziest crossover?

I don't tend to like crossovers most of the time so I've never written one

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't! I've done art collabs but never a writing collab

14. All time favourite ship?

Obviously I'm a fan of Trench/Darling but Ash/Northmoor has seized me in a vice grip lately

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I currently don't have any solid wips like that, just scraps of one or two sentences. Two of them are two different Westworld ships that make me feel feral if I think about them longer than 5 seconds so I'd like to actually write something about either but. It hasn't happened yet!

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think dialogue is a strength, as far as getting the characters' voices right.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

This applies to original writing for my ocs more than fanfic but worldbuilding

worldbuilding worldbuilding worldbuilding world-

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I don't write it myself, because I don't trust that the translation will be correct. I don't mind it too much in other fics, especially if it's just common words that are likely known without the need to translate. I've also seen writers provide footnotes with translations at the end of works and that's always appreciated!

19. First fandom you wrote in?

Fallout, I think? I have a little bit of it posted here actually, because I didn't have an ao3 yet.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Sacred Geometry by far. I've never written anything multiple chapters before, and probably never written that much of a continuous plot before. (my original writing was very much skipping around through different parts of my plot outline so it never existed in a continuous structured form)

Writing this fic has gotten me way more invested in Ash and Northmoor as characters and I already want to write more about them. It was challenging to write something with so little material to work with in canon but it was also wide open for interpretation which was fun!

edit: forgot to tag anyone

tagging @disastrouscanasta and anyone else who wants to answer these! I think most other writers I know have been tagged already

[holdmecloser-gandydancer]

20 Questions for fic writers

Tagged by @room-on-broom (thank you!!)

tagging @barry-j-blupjeans @ceilingfan5 @noodyl-blasstal @anistarrose and anyone else who'd like to!!

1. How many works do you have on A03?

23!!

2. What's your total A03 word count?

192,336 which feels insane to me!!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Basically just the adventure zone and then I have also been writing some stuff for various ttrpg characters of my own!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Say it with Flours, The Only One On Your A.M. Radio, Some of my best friends are liches, Take it like a Man, and is it too late to say it's not what it looks like?

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to!! I just like interacting with people who like the stuff I make, especially when they're kind enough to comment!!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

So all of my bigger fics tend not to have mega angsty endings, but there's that one ficlet I wrote about the twins and hair dye that is just angst city

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending Probably say it with flours!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

One guy once got big mad about starblaster lanes because he thought the setting was stupid and that John hunger (who was a throwaway, nonnamed character in the fic) was ooc and that the twins were too mean. like, buddy I don't think we listened to the same podcast, they can be little shits

9. Do you write smut?

As of RHAPAW, I do! it's not like, my most favorite thing to write (not because I don't like it, I just don't think I'm super good at it)

10. Do you write crossovers?

no, but when I was in junior high I had a grand plan for this like. mega cross over fic that involved characters from Hannibal, welcome to night vale, doctor who, supernatural, h*rry p*tter, and also sherlock. the plot was nonexistent but I remember that Hannibal was going to be like. the new professor at the private school everyone attended together

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes and no? so I have like. a fic in progress with larissa that I don't think either of us have touched in months, and then Hali and I have put Something Bigger Than The Sky on indefinite hiatus. but also so much of my process just involves talking back and forth for hours so they usually feel pretty collaborative by the end

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

like. It’s blupjeans it Has to be blupjeans. I was really into Amy and rory pond when I was younger and that just primed me for blupjeans

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

so I dont necessarily like assuming I won't finish a fic ever but the ones that are lowest on my priority are the warlock taakitz thing and then my resurrection roadtrip (simply because I Know that one will be big and it feels daunting)

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm good at getting into a character's head and writing a truthful internal monologue and good dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

actually moving the damn plot along and pacing

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've never done it because I know one (1) language but I think it's neat when other people do it!!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

the hunger games! I was intent on writing Annie Cresta's games BY HAND during study hall in seventh grade

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

It has to be RHAPAW, right? like it was SUCH a big effort but it's my baby :3

[umichenginabroad]

Day One in Poitiers, Aerospace Summer Program

My name's Aryanna, and I'm an aerospace engineer going to four different cities in France this summer! I'll start in Poitiers, where the focus will be on radiative heat transfer and thermal control of satellites. After 8 days, I'll head to Paris to study launchers, from propulsion to mission and architecture to flight control. I went to Paris last year for a 6 week engineering abroad program and absolutely loved the city, so I'm delighted to be going back. I’ll spend 11 days in Paris before going to Salon-de-Provence to look at space communications for 5 days. If I remember orientation correctly, this will actually involve work on a military base, which will certainly be interesting. The program will end in Toulouse, where I'll learn about industry and project management. Because I am lucky enough to go to the University of Michigan, I'll be able to spend 4 extra days beyond the regular program end date in Toulouse, where I'll be able to celebrate Bastille Day! (The closest equivalent American holiday is the Fourth of July). Plus, throughout the entire program, I'll be taking a French course as well. I'm a little nervous about actually talking to native French speakers, but I think I’ll be okay. I'll have to get working on my Duolingo or something.

Last year I had some...difficulties on the flight home from Paris. The second leg of my flight got canceled and rescheduled for a day later and to have ANOTHER layover, and stuff got delayed and delayed and delayed. I ended up stuck in Canada for 2 days, slept on a bench in the airport for one night and in a hotel with some nice strangers I met on my second attempt to fly home the other night before riding a 14 hour train to Michigan with them. Slightly dangerous? Yes, but it worked out! No, I did not receive anything from the airport/airline except for a $500 voucher for an airline I NEVER intend to use again (Air Canada. A Canadian Uber driver told me it's the worst airline in Canada, so never use it). Now I am a firm believer in direct flights when possible. I flew from DTW to CDG (an airport in Paris), then took a train from CDG to Poitiers. Including the wait for the plane or train, it was around 16 hours of travel, but well worth it. Plus, one program member was on the same flight as me, and four were on the same train, so it was fun to start meeting people on the way.

I didn’t have much time to explore Poitiers today after my train got in, but I did get lunch, take a short nap, struggle getting an eSIM, and get dinner with the entire program. There are 19 of us from around the world; some are from Australia, some from the UK, and some from the US. It has been interesting talking and seeing what things are different about each place (for example, the students from Australia said they often celebrate Christmas on the beach. It makes sense since it happens during their summer, but it’s still weird to think about). The city right outside the hotel doesn’t look like much, but a brief hike up a hill and it feels like you’re somewhere else entirely! Poitiers isn’t that big, but the buildings are very pretty and very old. We’re going on a tour of the city tomorrow, so I’ll have more to say about it in the next update.

One of the older looking buildings I've seen here. The limestone is so much more worn down than on the others! Hopefully I'll hear about it on the tour.

Everything on this side of the building is painted on. It's the only one I've seen like it, but I really like the art scene in Poitiers so far. There has been a lot of Mario-themed graffiti around too.

The view from partway up the hill.

I have my first day of class tomorrow, but it's pretty brief. It'll be about three hours of French, then the city tour after lunch. I'm excited to get the program started!

À bientôt (See you soon),

Aryanna Thompson

[mashkaroom]

back on my bullshit, by which i mean back on my circadian rhythm despite living an incompatible lifestyle with it #abolishmornings

[nat-20s]

for @jonmartinweek THE FINAL DAY prompt- Pining/Longing. This one takes place, well, you’ll see

~*~

A Study of Longing, Told in Six Parts

Part 1

Martin wonders if he’ll ever get to a point in his life where kindness doesn’t feel like a shock to the system. It’s already surprising enough when Tim and Sasha invite him for drinks in a genuine offer of friendship, but for that kindness to come from Jon? Martin has no idea what to do with being believed, let alone being protected.

And now here he is, blearily opening his eyes only to find himself staring at a mass of hair. As he sits up and rubs the sleep from his eyes, the shape resolves into the form of one Jonathan Sims. He had apparently fallen asleep with his head cushioned on his arms, against the cot Martin was currently occupying. It’s not an image that Martin can fully process at the moment, so instead he debates whether or not to wake Jon up or quietly get off the cot to let him get some much needed sleep. He decides on the former, both thinking that it would be hell on his back to keep sleeping in that position, and that he would like an explanation.

Hand hovering above Jon’s shoulder, but not fully touching, Martin oh so quietly calls out, “Jon?”

That’s all it takes for Jon’s head to rush up with a gasp, glasses askew, and with the texture of his sleeves pressed in red marks on his face. It is a horribly endearing look. “Hrn?”

Martin opens his mouths, closes it, and waits for Jon to get his bearings. Jon smooths down his (frankly ridiculous) sweater-vest, adjusts his glasses, and slips back on his professional demeanor. “My apologies, Martin, I, ah, must have fallen asleep.”

Glancing to the crappy little digital clock resting on a file box next to him, Martin rolls his eyes. Only Jon could be quite so stuffy at 4:32 in the morning. “No apologies needed. Though, um, was there? Something you needed or..?”

Jon shakes his head and stands up, dusting off imaginary grime. “No, no, nothing like that. I had just, er. I had heard you cry out and I- I wanted to make sure nothing was going on. It appears that it simply a nightmare,so I will be.. taking my leave. Now.”

He doesn’t know what part of himself replies, “Oh! You don’t have to go!,” but he replies it anyway. Jon does that little thoughtful frown at him, which forces him to continue, “I mean, if you wanted the cot. For sleeping. I’ll probably be awake for the rest of the night, so, you know, no skin off my back .”

“Ah. No, that’s quite alright, Martin. Try to get some more sleep, there’s still a long work day ahead.”

Jon doesn’t even wait for a response before turning on his heel and leaving. Martin sort of hates how much he wanted him to stay.

Part 2

Jon is laughing. Jon is terrified, all the damn time, and yet, somehow, he’s laughing. Honestly, he was starting to wonder if he was still capable of it. Martin is gesticulating wildly with his fork, animated in a way that Jon’s only ever seen when in they’re in the middle of a rather silly debate. He thinks this lunch’s topic was something like whether or not snakes were cute? He lost the thread of conversation about half an hour ago, honestly. Covering his mouth, he lets the giggles run through his whole body, shaking his shoulders and heating his core. He feels light, heady, like he’s reminiscing with an old friend and they’re both on the edge of having had too much to drink.

He only wishes he could trust this feeling. He wishes that he could trust Martin, that they were normal coworkers having a normal lunch, that the previous person in Jon’s position had gone into an easy retirement instead of being violently murdered. He wishes he hadn’t read that letter telling him, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Martin, Martin, who took him to lunch and brought him tea and seemed so very warm in so very cold circumstances, was lying to him.

Jon stops laughing.

Part 3

Of course, the second his body hits the simultaneously stiff and weirdly lumpy motel mattress, his phone goes off. It may only be about 8 pm, but he’s tired, and he’s sore, and he’s had a persistent headcold for the past week for some unholy reason, the last thing he wants to do is talk. However, only about four people have the number to the burner cell, and they’re almost certainly have a purpose behind their call.

Closing his eyes and letting out a sigh that turns into more of a groan, he picks up on the 4th ring. “Hello?”

“Hey, Jon! It’s Martin, I’m not sure if you have my number programmed in that phone, or if it even has caller ID if you do. Anyway, it’s been about a week since I’ve heard anything, and I wanted to make sure you weren’t, y’know, dead or arrested or anything.”

His previously tense and aching muscles all relax, without him consciously deciding to relax them, and a sleepy smile spreads across his face, because some time in the past year he’s become a parody of himself. Yes, maybe he should be more affronted by how much Martin’s tinny voice brings him comfort, but he’s had a rather terrible time of things since...since he began work in the archives, really, and he’s worn down enough that he can admit he misses his friend.

Huh. Friends. They are, aren’t they? Wonder when that happened. (He can guess, something involving a fake CV admission, but he doesn’t feel like it right now.) “Martin, I recognize your voice, no need to introduce yourself.”

“Right! Yes, uh, ‘course..of course you can. Right. Sooo...I take it you’re not dead, then.”

“Correct. I haven’t been arrested, either.” It’s only sort of a comforting lie, so Jon thinks it can be forgiven.

“Good. Great! Yeah, that’s...that’s good.”

The conversation could probably end there. Jon could probably tell Martin good night, and they’d hang up, and Jon could get the sleep he had been so desperately craving not moments ago. Somehow, he thinks that neither of them want that. Scrambling for something to talk about, Jon replies, “Hang on, isn’t it something like 2am over there?”

“It...might be.”

“Martin!”

“What! It’s not like you have a monopoly on bad sleeping habits. Besides, I was up anyway, and I just..”

“Just what?”

“I just missed your voice.”

Oh. Heat rushes to his cheeks, and tears start to prick at the corners of his eyes, and god. He had missed Martin’s voice too. “Really? I know you’ve had to listen to a fair number of tapes lately, thought you might be sick of it by now.”

“No. I mean, I am a bit tired of tapes, honestly, but even the ones that you recorded, that not really your voice, is it? I mean it is, but it doesn’t sound like you when you’re actually, um, you. I wanted..I wanted to hear you.”

Jon’s far too worn out to deal with that sentiment, and the way that it makes his heart clench. So instead  of addressing it, he says, “I am very close to being asleep.”

“Oh. Right, sorry, I’ll let you go-”

“No! No. Um. Would you mind staying on the line? Until I’m gone? I-I like hearing your voice. As well.”

“Oh! Sure, yeah, definitely. Anything in particular you want me to talk about?”

“Whatever you like. Something nice?”

“All right. I can do that. Um. Did I tell you about this little yarn shop I found the other day. It’s called ‘Puttin’ on the knitz’, and it’s…”

Jon peacefully drifts off, listening to the voice of the man who he can only admit in moments such as these, he wishes was in this bed, laying beside him.

Part 4

please come back please come back for the love of god come back I can’t believe you’re doing this do you have any idea how stupid this is come back to me come back come back come back

Part 5

There is plenty of things to long for in the apocalypse. A decent cuppa. The relief of actual sleep. Murdering Jonah Magnus. For there not to be a apocalypse. They are grateful, however, to not have to long for each other.

Part 6

Martin comes to without a knife in his hand, or bloodstains on his clothing. Those, under other circumstances, would be good things.

Martin comes to, laying in the grass, without anyone beside him. He barely has the moment to feel agony spike through him before he’s out once more.

There are no Jonathan Sims admitted to the hospital. As far as he can tell, no one was admitted into the hospital at the same time as him, and certainly no one with a stab wound.

There are thousands of ‘Jonathan Sims UK’, typed desperately into a library computer search bar, wielding mostly results about a sport manager and a romance novelist. None of the images are of the right person.

Sometimes Martin puts one foot in front of the other, carefully blank in heart and head. Surviving, even  during times that he’s not sure he wants to, is one of his greatest abilities.

Sometimes Martin despairs.

On the worst nights, he tries to call the Lonely back to him, tries to be swallowed whole. It never works. He’s not sure if it’s because the fears aren’t in the reality or if they’re not established enough to have any leverage or if his connection has simply been broken. (He doubts the last reason. He hasn’t been this alone since Tim’s funeral. Even then, Melanie had thrown a few stilted condolences towards him. No one is aware enough of him to give condolences now. He misses Melanie. He misses all of them. He misses Jon like a gaping, bleeding wound misses skin.)

Seven months later, and he has enough money saved and identity built that he moves on to Scotland. The little village they had been adjacent to exists in this reality. Daisy’s cottage does not.

On a whim, he enters the yarn shop. He’s not going to pick anything up, hobbies are the last thing he can focus on, but it’s nice to look. To feel the various textures, to take in the rich variance of colors, to, hopefully be present in his own body, if only for a moment.

Martin steps in. The bell chimes. He’s there. Standing in front of him. Whole. In a cry that’s closer to a gasp, he calls out, “JON!”

Jon turns, looks up at him, recognizes him even before he’s even fully seen him. It’s his Jon, he’s here he’s here he’s here. The callback of “MARTIN!” sounds like it was punched out of him, the start of a sob and a laugh all at once.

In a blink, they’re together, their embrace a tangle of limbs, a collision of lips, a mixture of tears. Martin can’t tell which of them is saying the litany of “thank god thank god thank god” and who’s repeating “it’s you it’s you it’s you.”

It’s Jon that’s telling him, “I knew you had to be here. I knew it, because I kept thinking. Surely. Surely this new universe wouldn’t be so cruel as to allow me to live, but to make me live without you.”

It’s Martin that replies, “I didn’t know. I thought it would be that cruel. Please don’t make me go through that again.”

Jon pulls him in tighter, eliminating the centimeter of space between them. Speaking into Martin’s neck, whispered in fierce devotion, Jon promises, “Never again. Never again. You and me. Together. For the rest of our lives.”

Barely discernible through his sobbing, Martin tells him, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

~*~

There are people that think that wanting is more worthwhile than having. Martin thinks, frankly, that those people have never been in love.

[miekasa]

college boyfriend levi headcanons: exam season

+ pairings: levi ackerman x (fem) reader

+ genres and warnings: college au, fluff, nothing too dramatic

+ notes: this is combination of about three or four requests i got around the similar theme of finals (are you guys okay.... pls drink water omg), so i hope you don’t mind that i combined them!

From the outside, Levi is very composed, even when he’s stressed out. Unless you really know him, it’d be hard to tell he’s going through something at all—whether it be personal or because of school.

Just because he’s good at hiding it, doesn’t mean it’s always healthy lol. It’s not always… unhealthy, either; but one of his coping mechanisms is definitely to keep to himself, in an attempt to try and gain control of all the chaos.

Luckily for Levi, you’ve gotten pretty good at telling whenever he’s hiding something. That, and there’s only so composed one human being can be during finals week lol.

He doesn’t mind being taken care of, but it’s not something he seeks out either. But if you try showing him support, he’ll accept whatever you have to offer.

If you can’t exactly help him with the content of his classes, he’ll still be grateful to know that you’d want to buy him snacks, or study with him, or nap with him, or even just text to check up on him. Little things like that mean a lot to him.

When it comes it you, however, he almost doesn’t ever verbally acknowledge that you’re having a hard time—he only shows it through his actions, and he’ll do whatever he can to make your life easier when things are stressful.

I’ve said it before, but I think that acts of service are probably the biggest component of Levi’s love languages. If you need anything, he’d be happy to get or do it for you, and will even go so far as to volunteer himself to take care of something before you can ask.

Food is a big thing. He’ll buy or prepare food for you while you’re studying, one: to make sure you don’t accidentally forget to eat, and two: to make sure that you’re not living off of take out for two weeks, no matter how tempting it may be.

If you have trouble focusing, he’ll honestly incentivize you like a kid lolol. He’ll tell you to study for an hour, and then you can take a break, or he’ll buy you something from Starbucks or something of that nature. Lowkey, he’s classically conditioning you, but whatever.

Pokes you with his pen if you try to distract him or coerce him into taking a break earlier than your scheduled break-time.

He can also twirl his pen really quickly and does it very absentmindedly when he’s watching a video or something. Lowkey kind of hot, don’t tell him that, though, he’s enough of a menace as it is. 

Plays footsies with you under the table while you’re both doing work. Don’t tell anyone else, tho.

If you’re the kind of person who really ups their coffee intake during exams season, he’s not outwardly going to stop you—not like he could, bye—but he will try his best to either moderate it, or at the very least supplement it with actual food and water in between.

Sometimes though, he simply has to pry the coffee out of your hands, and even though you want to kill him for it, you know he’s right.

“You cannot have three venti drinks with 4 shots of espresso in them in the same day. You shouldn’t even have had two. In fact, one was pushing it. No more.” “Fine, I’ll just drink have a grande instead.” “Over my dead body, hand it over.”

Don’t play with him, he’ll pour your $8 drink down the drain without a single regret.

If you favor energy drinks over coffee, then he’ll act the same way, except worse lolol. He’s not playing games with you, he simply will not let you consume a 5hr energy in front of him, and if he finds your stash, it’s over.

He’ll kind of bully you into taking care of yourself lolol. Either you do it, or he’ll do it for you.

He’s probably more prone to studying in the evening, but he doesn’t strike me as the all-nighter kind of guy, unless he’s completely forgotten about an assignment or exam and absolutely has to cram the day before.

Honestly, he just gets sick of doing schoolwork after a certain hour and would rather be asleep or doing anything else. Which works out for him; because he’s so consistent throughout the semester, his exams are a bit more bearable.

When he sees you staying up late more often, he doesn’t think anything much of it at first. It’s pretty commonplace among college students. He does get a little bit grouchy though, because it means he has less time to spend with you doing something other than staring at work all day.

If it really persists, that’s when he’s going to try and get you to give it up and take a night off, or at least take a nap with him. (Levi likes naps, and I think he really would nap like a kitten throughout whenever he can).

When you’re studying together, he usually finishes his work before you, and if you take too long, he wouldn’t mind making himself comfortable and taking a nap while he waits.

He takes really good notes, and probably writes them over several times when he’s studying, he’s really got it down to a science. That being said, if you’re really behind and you can barely look through your unintelligible notes, Levi would write them over for you.

Yeah, but in doing that he also steals your highlighters. Give them back Levi, if you want a pack of Mildliners, buy your own.

He waits for you after your late classes or study groups, especially in the winter or when it’s dark out. He doesn’t like to let you walk home alone—especially if it’s finals week, because he knows you’re barely running on 5 hours of sleep anyways.

He’ll let you teach him things as a way for you to practice/study and takes very good notes because he’s cute like that, even if he doesn’t know what the fuck is going on.

If your room gets messy in your haze of studying and wallowing, he’ll come over and clean it up, even if you don’t want to, or feel like you don’t have the strength to. He’ll just start picking things up. It helps more than he knows. 

When exams are all over, he takes you out to do whatever you want. Whether it be a nice meal, doing something fun like laser tag, or even just going to watch a movie together; it’s a nice little celebration after all the hard work. 

If he’s feeling the pressure, he stress-bakes. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s an overwhelming amount. His kitchen is practically overflowing with lemon tarts and he just starts handing them out to you and all his friends like he’s a merchant, because he’ll be damned if they spoil.

“You smell like sugar and flour… were you baking today?” “Yes… Psychology is hard and humans are stupid, now here’s a muffin.”

If you really just need a complete break from everything school related, he’ll take you on a long drive. You don’t have to go anywhere specific, but he’ll just drive you around, and you two can get food and talk and talk and talk until you’re barely thinking about school anymore.

Overall, he’s pretty nurturing and particularly gentle with you. He doesn’t like to see you not take care of yourself, so if he has to do it for you, so be it.

[3rensgf]

rent a gf - two eren yeager x reader

word count: 2.9k

warnings: mentions of sex, talks about "getting bitches", eren is an idiot, fuckboy!eren implied, tatbilb mention, uhh fluff idk theres not much to warn abt in here, not beta read

notes: chapter two is out! i'm really glad a lot of people are enjoying rent a gf. it really means a lot! i see some people commented on the previous chapter, and i would love to reply to them, but i'm not familiar with tumblrs commenting system D: if you wanna leave a comment for me to just read, that's fine you can still keep commenting here on tumblr. but if you would like me to reply to it, you can comment on ao3, and i will reply! happy reading :) p.s, waffles w whipped cream r so much better

[ read on ao3 ]

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In the early hours of Saturday morning, you felt a hand shaking your shoulder to wake you. Groaning and mumbling, you sleepily swatted the hand away and pulled the covers over your head. No one should be forced to wake up early on the weekends. It was Saturday, for fucks sake. Not to mention your hangover due to last nights mistakes was making your head throb.

The hand rested on your shoulder once more, shaking you gently. “(Y/N),” Mikasa said softly. “Your alarm has been going off for the past 10 minutes. Wake up. I have water and Advil.”

“Nooooo,” you moaned, snuggling deeper into your bed. “Don’ wanna.”

Mikasa stopped bothering you for a moment, and you let your guard down. Finally you could sleep. When it was time to wake up, you’d wake up.

Right as you were about to pass out again, your blanket was roughly tugged off of you. “Mikasaaa!” you whined, covering your face with your hands. “What was that for? I was trying to sleep.”

“Get up. You have to shower and get ready for lunch with Eren today. Breakfast is almost finished,” she explained, setting down the pills and water on your bedside table. “Go brush your teeth and wash your face so you can eat. Now,” she instructed sternly, moving to your window to open the curtains. The bright sunlight hit your still half-asleep face, making you hiss quietly.

She left the room moments after, probably to check up on breakfast. Honestly, you didn’t know how she could function this early in the morning despite having partied all night last night. Curse her and her inability to get hungover.

Grumbling to yourself, you adjusted your sleep clothes that had gotten disheveled overnight to make sure you looked decent. Your sleepy gaze wandered over to your nightstand to see two Advils on a napkin beside a glass of cold water. Thanking every higher power for sending Mikasa to you, you downed both pills and the glass of water. Even though you might bitch and moan to her constantly, you really weren’t lying when you said you’d die without Mikasa.

After sitting down at the edge of your bed for a few moments, you eventually shuffled into the bathroom to brush your teeth and do your morning routine. It took longer than usual thanks to your sluggish and tired movements, but you got done nevertheless.

A wonderful aroma came from the kitchen when you left, stomach grumbling in anticipation for the wonderful food you were about to scarf down. Mikasa was in the process of setting down both your breakfasts on the island, sitting down on the stools when you walked in. “Morning, Sleeping Beauty,” she greeted, resting her chin on her hands.

“Morning, sweet angel,” you replied, sitting at the stool beside her. In front of you was a plate of Funfetti pancakes with whipped cream instead of maple syrup (syrup was for pancakes only). There were a couple of cut up fruits beside them, too. “Where did you get these?” you asked, picking up your fork to take a bite of your breakfast.

Mikasa dug into her own breakfast of oatmeal as soon as you started eating. “Went grocery shopping and saw the mix in the baking aisle. I thought you’d like it,” she explained, taking a bite of her food. “Good?”

Your response was a moan, tilting your head back as you chewed. “Insanely,” you said, cutting up another bite. You stabbed the piece with your fork and guided it to Mikasa, keeping your hand under it to catch anything if it dropped.

She finished her bite and leaned in to take the bite, humming in satisfaction at the taste. “Good,” she nodded.

“They put like crack ‘n this shit,” you said through a full mouth, shoveling forkful after forkful into your mouth.

You could feel Mikasa's judging gaze for eating like a pig, but you didn’t care. All you cared about was eating these crack laced waffles as greedily as possible. “What time are you supposed to meet Eren today?” she asked to make conversation.

You remember drunkenly slurring to her that Eren was supposed to take you out for lunch today while she was trying to put you to bed. All she did was nod and dodge your flailing limbs while she tried to change you into your night clothes.

“Uhhh,” you trailed off, “I dunno actually. I think he’s gonna text me when.” The familiar notification from your phone indicated you had a text from Eren. “Right now.”

ren ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ - 9:04 AM picking u up at 12 dont be late

you - 9:04 AM k

ren ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ - 9:05 AM dont use k with me that makes me sad :(

you - 9:05 AM k

“He says 12,” you told Mikasa, setting your phone back down on the table. You went to go take another bite of your waffles, only to be met with stray bits of whipped cream and waffle crumbs. How disappointing.

“You have time to get ready then,” she said, finishing up the last bit of her own breakfast. Holding her plate, she got up to go put it in the sink, taking your plate for you as well. Literally an angel.

Suddenly, she leaned in to sniff you like the weird English professor you had your freshman year and cringed. “You’re gonna need all the time you can get. You stink.”

Never mind, not an angel.

Grumbling and cursing under your breath, you got off the stool to go take a shower. “And here I was about to offer to get you something for lunch while I was out.”

“A burger from the joint I like would be nice. So would a Coke and side of onion rings.”

“Size?”

“Medium for both.”

You would’ve caved in and bought her something, anyways. Might as well know what she wanted in the first place.

Showering took longer than expected. Most of your time got wasted by you standing under the shower stream and soaking in all the warmth. It wasn’t until Mikasa knocked on the door asking you not to use up all the hot water that made you actually start going through your routine.

The clock read 10:09 when you got out. You still had more time to kill until Eren came, so you elected to sit on your bed in your towel to scroll through social media. At 10:45, you started to get ready for real now.

Your makeup was just enough to cover any imperfections on your face, and your outfit cute enough for a lunch outing with your friend-fuckbuddy.

At 11:50, you stepped out into the living room with your belongings in hand to lounge around while you waited for Eren. You would’ve gone to bug Mikasa, but she had just stepped into the shower minutes prior.

12 on the dot, a rhythmic knocking was rapped on your door, meaning Eren was finally here. Skipping over to the door, you opened it to reveal him while slipping on your shoes.

“Hey,” he grinned when the door opened. He leaned in to give you a kiss on the lips after you’d straightened up from putting on your shoes.

A grin found its way on your lips during the kiss. It only lasted a couple of seconds, ending with you pulling away with a quiet smack. “Hi,” you greeted back.

“Ready to go?” he asked, one hand leaving his jacket pocket to jut his thumb down the hallway towards the elevators.

“Yup, ready,” you said. Over your shoulder, you yelled into the apartment to say goodbye to Mikasa and locking the door once you closed. “Okay, ready for real now.”

There was a new hot pot restaurant near campus, Eren told you, that he so desperately wanted to try. He overheard some people talking about the place in his Stats class, and he’s been wanting to go ever since.

“So, about what I told you last night,” he said, leaning on the table close to you after giving your orders to the waitress. “You said you would help me get Mina.”

“I said it was a bad idea,” you countered, taking a sip of your drink.

“But you said you would help me. For a price.”

“That I… did say,” you sighed. “What’s your plan?”

Smiling, he opened up his jacket and dug into the inner pockets, getting out a small notepad and a pen. Your eyebrows raised at the sight of them. “Okay,” he started, flipping through his notepad. “So I was thinking about it this morning, and this is what I have down so far.”

Sliding it towards you, he waited impatiently for you to read what he had.

Your lips pursed to prevent giggled from leaving your lips. Well, it was a plan, alright. Written in Eren’s chicken scratch of handwriting were a few very simple steps.

eren yaegers fool proof plan to get bitches get mina aka operation rent a gf by eren yaeger 1. talk to mina to get her interested in you ✓ 2. get hot girl ((Y/N)) to pretend to be your gf and show you can be a good bf 3. get mina jealous so she wants you even more and not poopy thomas wanker 4. “break up” with (Y/N) and pretend to be sad 5. get mina to comfort you 6. get bitches make mina your gf 7. pay (Y/N) for her services 8. ta-da!

When you looked up from the notepad, you saw Eren waiting for your answer. “Well? What do you think? Is it any good?” he asked.

“Were you high when you wrote this?” was the first thing you asked him. Eren shook his head innocently. “You’re 100% serious?” He nodded.

You bit your lip, deep in thought about Eren’s supposedly fool proof plan. “What makes you think it’s gonna work?”

“I know girls and how they act. If Paradis University let me major in women -- don’t get smart with me I don’t mean Women Studies -- I would be passing all my classes with flying colors. I know it’ll work, trust me,” he said cockily, leaning back in his chair.

“No you don’t.”

“Yes I do. I know you. I know everything about you, (Y/N). I even know how to make you scream my name in--”

“Okay!” you cut him off, not wanting the strangers around you to know the intimate details of your sex life with Eren. “Okay.”

“I knew you were gonna do that. See, I do know women.”

A moment or two passed, both of you staring at each other. You with a deadpan expression, and him with a proud one. You were the first one to break the silence with a heavy sigh. “Okay, say I agree to this. What do I get in return?”

“Anything you want,” he said. “Within reason, of course. Please don’t ask me to like, hide a body or something.”

Ignoring his last comment, you continued speaking, “You’re not allowed to back out of whatever I ask you to, right? If this plan fails or succeeds, you still owe me whatever you promised.”

Eren nodded. “Of course. I swear on it.” He shifted a little so his elbow was on the table, holding out a pinky. Instinctively, you held out your pinky as well and intertwined the both of them. Pinky promises were something you and Eren had been doing for years now. It meant that the other was dead serious on their promise.

The waitress came back with your broth and dipping ingredients, setting them on the table for you right when your pinkes left each other. Thanking the waitress, the two of you talked some more while you waited for the broth to heat up.

“We should make it official. With a contract and set of rules,” he said. “Like that one movie you forced me to watch with you. The Boys I Loved or some shit like that.”

“To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before,” you corrected.

“Yeah, that. They’re kinda doing something like us, yeah?”

“Guess so,” you shrugged, picking up your chopsticks and a sice of pork belly when the broth started to boil. “After we eat though.”

Idle chatter was shared between the two of you as you ate. Even though you saw each other nearly every day, you never ran out of things to talk to. You could be talking about complete nonsense or how quantum physics made no sense, and you would still have the best time of your life.

By now, the broth had been drunk up and the table had been cleared out to be replaced with banana milk and ice cream. Eren brought out his notepad again to write down the set of rules for your fake relationship while enjoying your desserts.

Good progress had been written so far on the notepad. Both of you had given input and criticism on each rule made. In the end, you finally had a good set of rules written down.

(Y/N) and erens contract and rules for eren yaegers fool proof plan to get mina aka operation rent a gf by eren yaeger 1. act normally. eren and (Y/N) act like a couple already. just double the pda a little more 2. don’t tell anyone about the deal. the more people who believe in the relationship, the more likely it is for the plan to work 3. post each other on ig a lot. maybe add names and a date to bios to make it more believable 4. date night every saturday (go out or just hang out) 5. go to parties together 6. walk each other to class if you can 7. call each other cute pet names 8. after breaking up, the couple act has to stop including the sex 9. DON’T SLIP UP

payment for (Y/N):

Eren tapped a beat on the notepad, reading “payment” over and over again. Eventually he looked up at you, deep in thought. “Have you thought of anything so far?” he asked, clicking the pen to write what you wanted.

This was a tough decision. Eren was ready to give you anything to help him get Mina. You had to be wise and pick something big to take advantage of him. Something you were sure you wouldn’t ever regret getting.

“How about,” you started, trailing off, “you do my laundry for the rest of our time at ParadisU, buy me lunch every Wednesday even after we break up, recommend that godsend of a tutor you keep gatekeeping to help me too, and…”

“And?” Eren asked, looking up from his writing, waiting for your next words.

“All the orgasms I want during our relationship,” you finished, satisfied with what you chose.

“Is that all?” he asked, writing down the last of your words. “That’s a lot.”

“How about I let you know if I wanna add more,” you said. Eren nodded in response. His head hung to look at the notepad again, writing something down. Once he was done, he plaed the pen on the pad and slid it to you.

“Sign it so it’s official,” he instructed.

There were two lines beside each other, one already with Eren’s signature. Without hesitation, you signed your name neatly on the paper, giving the items back to Eren once you were done.

(Y/N) and erens contract and rules for eren yaegers fool proof plan to get mina aka operation rent a gf by eren yaeger 1. act normally. eren and (Y/N) act like a couple already. just double the pda a little more 2. don’t tell anyone about the deal. the more people who believe in the relationship, the more likely it is for the plan to work 3. post each other on ig a lot. maybe add names and a date to bios to make it more believable 4. date night every saturday (go out or just hang out) 5. go to parties together 6. walk each other to class if you can 7. call each other cute pet names 8. after breaking up, the couple act has to stop including the sex 9. DON’T SLIP UP

payment for (Y/N): eren has to do the (Y/N)’s laundry for the rest of university, buy her lunch ever wednesday, get tutor to help her and give her as many orgasms as she wants during the course of the relationship

signed x eren yaeger x (y/n) (l/n)

The two of you shook hands when Eren put away his things, to seal the deal again. The waitress came by again to give you the bill and collect your dirty dishes. Eren set down the cash needed to pay along with a tip in the check presenter before the two of you left.

You walked hand in hand back to Erens car before you realized you missed something. “Wait. What do we tell people when they ask how we got together?” you asked, pausing in your tracks.

Eren stopped with you, turning to look at you. “Um, you can say I confessed after lunch, and that this is technically our first date,” he suggested, tugging your hand to walk back to the car.

“Huh. Okay. That works,” you nodded.

The two of you got into the car a little bit past 2:30 in the afternoon, ready to go home. “Wait,” you said again, making Eren pause. “Mikasa wanted a burger from that one joint near our apartment. Could you take me there first?”

Eren smiled and nodded, starting the car. “Of course. Burger with medium Coke and onion rings?”

“How did you know?”

“She always gets that when we go there.”

“Huh… I guess you’re right.”

“When am I not?”

"Always."

taglist - @thestrugglesofateenagedirtbag , @lazalee , @countthemoons , @se-va-muriendo-mialma , @liaxxx109 , @prxttyguardian , @jeansbabycake

italic names, it wouldn't let me tag you!

3rensgf © 2021 ; do not repost or translate my work.

[londonhalcyon]

Now that I've seen some of the screenshots u share of yer personal HPHM gameplay; I actually uninstalled the app for my own good at the beginning of my Uni semester KSEJGBLSEG, and I kinda wanna install it again and keep it up, but I'm like... UUUUUGGGHHHHH, mr. impatience over here, gotta do those... 8HR missions and stuff. How ye feelin about the game so far? I'm barely begginning year 4, if I recall correctly.

Watch my lack of restraint turn this into an essay. Actually, no, this will be an essay. Buckle up.

Year 4 was actually where the story began to pick up for me because of the raised stakes. It was the first time I was like, “Oh. People might die.” Then, and this might be an unpopular opinion, Year 5 ended up being my favorite year. There were some frustrating moments when the story got unnecessarily sidetracked, but Year 5 introduced some interesting plot points, great character development (especially for Merula), and an incredibly dramatic climax. Year 5, I think, is where the story had the most future potential.

Year 6 is where the quality started to fluctuate more. Lots of ups and downs, lots of progress undone, and not a lot of potential fulfilled. It wasn’t terrible, and the potential was still there, so I was willing to stick with it.

Year 7…I have so many complaints. They keep adding new friends and making them the focus (although Chiara savagely insulting Victor is hilarious), we keep having to do pointless or illogical tasks (we did not need to sneak a dog into the hospital), and many of the plot twists weren’t set up properly or make little sense. There are some moments that I have loved: Tonks being Tonks, the duel with the wampus cat, Jacob and MC behaving like siblings. But I’m cherry-picking canon at this point. The only reason I’m sticking with it is because I have no concept of sunk costs is because I’m invested in these characters for better or worse and I’m genuinely curious where the story is going to go, even if it crashes and burns.

Whether you want to continue the game is completely up to your level of patience. I first downloaded it freshman year of uni during a stressful spring semester, and it helped force me to take breaks. If I was working on a long essay or studying for a lab practical or something and received the “Energy Full” notification, then I would step away from my computer to play for five or ten minutes before returning to work. My life’s too chaotic to play as habitually now, but it still helps on occasion. I also have enough pets and side quest rewards in Year 7 that I can often complete an 8-hour task in one sitting (if all the energy tappies are available, which is once a day). And some of the side quests are genuinely fun. Not all of them, but some.

So, yeah, up to you if you want to stick with it. There’s always the option to watch a YouTube playthrough if you want to keep up with the story without suffering through the tasks. I also sometimes look at the BlueMoonGame walkthrough screenshots if I’m feeling impatient.

I complain on occasion, but this game does hold a special place in my heart. I’ll never recommend it to anyone ever, but I do love it. After all, unfulfilled potential is a chest full of gold to a fanfic author, not to mention any other creator. It’s half the reason this fandom exists, which is awesome.

[luxshine]

Y yo a ti, Cas -segunda parte. Because of course Mexican Cas pulled us out of despair and can throw us back in.

Ok, so the last 24 hours have been a bit of a rollercoaster and now I have another post to write about how dubbing is made. Because I love Misha a lot, and I respect him but… the whole rouge translator thing just doesn’t jive with reality.

Now, first of all I want to make a disclaimer: I do not believe that there’s a conspiracy to keep Dean closeted and away from Castiel. That makes absolutely no sense, no matter how you slice it. Among other things, conspiracy implies intent, and I really doubt the CW, Warner Bros and everyone involved in the marketing choices cares that much. At most, I think that there was a misunderstanding of marketing/PR and now people are doubling down on trying to pretend it didn’t happen. But a conspiracy? Nope. This isn’t THAT important, and it would require a LOT of people involved to make things work.

Which is precisely why the rouge translator thing doesn’t work. Because you would need a conspiracy to MAKE Destiel canon in order for it to be real.

Second: As I write this, I still don’t have an answer from the voice actors. But rest assured, WHEN they reply (or we can organize a panel so YOU guys can ask directly), I will tell you the absolute truth. If I am wrong with my assumptions, and it WAS a rouge translator, I will let you know, and I will admit I was wrong. And if it was from the audio (say, a Jensen adlib) or the actual script? I will also let you know.

Third: I don’t doubt that Misha REALLY believes the rogue translator thing, if it was told to him by TPTB. There’s no reason to believe he knows how dubbing works in Mexico, nor how many people check the final product. Or that he even watched the episode, instead of believing it was a fan clip. Also, I respect him immensely and I don’t want any hate send his way.

That said, let’s go into how dubbing works, again.

For the sake of argument, I will start with the idea that yes, there was a “Rogue translator” who decided that THIS was the perfect moment to make Destiel canon. Not, say, Season 8 when he could have translated an “I need you” from Dean into an “I love you” when the god tablet thing happened, not in season 12, or during the purgatory prayers. No, the best moment was two episodes before the finale, when he had to know that Cas was not coming back. 

And yes, the translator knew Cas was not coming back because when we translate series, we get them in packages of 5 episodes or more at the time. So they must have had 15x16 to 15x21 (The interview special) all together. So they knew that this was Cas’s exit from the series.

Now, in my previous post I said how in the old times, we used vhs tapes and paper copies of the shooting scripts (when they were available that was not always). Now a days, we get the video file and a word document (if we’re lucky. If not, we make the word file). Translate everything. Go through it AGAIN to make sure the lip sync matches and that we don’t have huge speeches when there’s a small window of time to say the speech because of the language differences. Check that we didn’t accidentally used a slang word that only Mexico would understand. If the show is not PG-13, make sure our swearwords are not too bad or too localized. THEN we send it to the studio, which prints about four copies of the script and hands it,and the video, to the Dub director.

The dub director then goes and re-watches every episode, while checking the script. Some directors don’t speak the language, so they’re just checking cadence, time, and the damned lip sync. (And if you, as a translator, don’t match the lip sync? You are either back to training or out of a word if you get too many strikes). So sure, you could slip a change of line there, IF the director doesn’t speak German, or Japanese, or Hindi.

But almost every single dub director speaks English. So a change from “Don’t do this, Cas” to “And I, you, Cas” would be noticed then and there, and changed to the right line. Which means that, for the rogue translator thing to work, we’d have to add also a rogue dub director.

And honestly, do you see a professional dub director with more than 15 years of experience (because you don’t give a series to a newbie, and Supernatural had the same dub director for all it’s run) risking his job for ONE line?

Anyway, in the times before the plague dub actors were called in groups to the study to record, in order to save audio tracks. So, for example, all the Inner Senshi would record together when doing Sailor Moon, and I assume in Supernatural, Sam and Dean’s lines would also be recorded together, while Dean and Cas might have been or not. Depending on times and so on. So you’d had at least 3 people in the studio: Dean’s VA, the dub director and the sound technician. ALL of them checking what was being said, what was in the script, and listening to the original audio.

Some actors would also make corrections to the script there, making some lines easier to read, and, again, checking those damn lip letters (Can you tell I HATE the lip letter thing?) . I remember fondly the VA for Sailor Jupiter, Araceli de Leon (RIP), who was known as “The Corrector”, since she would go through ALL the scripts for everyone with a red pen. The day I handed a script she didn’t find any corrections, I was jumping out of joy. So if 15x18 was recorded AT the dubbing studio? Someone who knew English could’ve caught the difference between the “Don’t do this” and the “And I you”, making it harder for our rogue translator to go unnoticed.

But let’s say it was recorded post-quarantine, when voice actors work alone at home, in their own private sound studios. I have no idea if they would have the director at hand through zoom, but I assume so. In any case, the VA would STILL have the original audio to know how the lines were said, and after 4 years of dubbing Dean Winchester, I will assume that the VA knows at the very least a little bit of English so if his script said “And I, you Cas” but he heard Jensen say “Don’t do it, Cas”, he would’ve made a correction there.

That’s now two people who would have to ignore the rouge translator’s actions, and even help them, in order for this theory to work.

And then the audio goes back to the director, who checks it again, makes sure it is lip synced and well acted, and sent to the audio technician who mixes it all, and now we have a THIRD person who could’ve said “Hey… uhm… this line? Is not what it says in the original” and by this time, we’d have to have a conspiracy to keep that “And I, you, Cas” in the final product.

Which brings me to person number four: Once the dubbing is done? It’s reviewed by the client (In this case, WB Latam), who gives the final say and CAN ask for redubs if necessary.

Story time. When I was doing this for a living, I got a series that had the WEIRDEST line ever. A line that made me triple check I was hearing things right (because it was a damn adlib that I couldn’t check with the script)

It was: “I’ve been listening to jazz even since I was a sperm swimming in my father’s testicles”.

So yeah.

I was a pro, so I didn’t censor it or change it and send it as it was to the director. Who OF COURSE called me and asked “Are you 100% sure that’s the line?” (This was in Japanese, and he didn’t speak Japanese. He trusted me). And I said “yeah, but if you need to change it, we can find another way to say “I’ve been a Jazz fan since before I was born”. “ He, Jack bless him, said “Nah. If that’s the original, let’s keep the original”.

The client was NOT amused and we had to change it in the final product.

Now, this was a throw away line by a secondary character that never appeared again in the series, in a small scene that probably only I remember. And the client still said “Nope, change that”. I’d like to believe that a line that changes the relationship between two main characters would have the same, if not more, scrutiny from TPTB.

Which makes now four people who would have had to either ignore the actions of the rogue translator, or actively participate in a conspiracy to make Destiel Latam canon.

Which, I dunno about you, sounds like way too much effort for something that was going to last for exactly one second before Cas got sucked into the Empty.

Someone made a mistake? Probably. But I am more willing to bet it was whoever sent the master video file to the studio than the dub studio, if that line wasn’t supposed to be there.

[i-cant-sing]

Hi, this isn't a request. I was just feeling really down and yes, I will admit that I actually cried till my eyes were red. My school is putting an immense load of pressure on me, and I try my best to cope with stuff. Well, I still get somewhat decent grades, but we have tests every single freaking day, every week and we even have these nonsensical periodic tests from 4-5 days. And on top of that since I'm in a class that teaches advanced Math, Physics and Chemistry, we have tests in those too. I always used to think that I was strong and capable of handling myself under pressure but.... apparently I was mistaken. I'm at that stage where I've used up all the tears in my eyes. I keep dishing out advice to people on what to do when you're feeling low, lol I can't even follow my own advice

Welp, sorry to bother you and dump my nonsensical feelings on you, love your work by the way. It's amazing as always :)

Study motivation ahead!

My dude, I feel you. Okay, story time: I used to be the kind of kid who never scored above 75% most of her life. Girl, I didn't even care about my education, just as long I passed. I didn't even know what scholarships were until I was 16 or something. When I got to highschool, my world was turned upside down. Suddenly, there was this immense pressure on my education, that my grades in highschool will determine which career/uni I get into. From barely studying an a hour a day to studying 8 hours a day(on top of school and tutitons). But I wasn't really studying if I was being honest. I was just finding loopholes and shortcuts. And as we know "there are no shortcuts to success" blah blah. Lord knows how I passed chemistry when I opened my textbook for the second time before the night if my test. Somehow, I passed with fairly decent grades (even though my prep was shit).

But then, I peaked in grades 11-12. Anon, when I tell u the pressure was on, the pressure was ON. My god, I was at school and tutitons every single day, for 15 hours. Now minus about 7 hours if sleep out of that, and I get 2 hours to myself, which I would spend on socials or Netflix to keep myself sane. I had tests both at school and at tutitons, every single day, so u didn't even have time to prepare for them. I used to study for school tests, during school hours and for tutors test, during school and omw to the tutors. I was sleep deprived af, my body was getting tired and lazy and unfit because I had no time for any extracurricular activities. Maybe I went out 2-3 times a year for lunch. My only source of happiness was my phone or the very rare grocery trips. Now, how tf did someone like me, who did not give a single shit about her education, suddenly became so invested in her studies????

Simple, I found my motivation. Now, these are 3 things that kept me motivated:

Pettiness. God, I can't begin to count the number of times teachers have undermined me, straight up told me that it'd be surprise if I got anything above a 55%. What did I do to warrant this judgement you ask? I called them out on their shitty teaching methods. It just made me so fucking happy when I would accept their challenges.

Secondly, I hated the the class topper. It wasn't anything personal really, I just really hated the favouritism she got from the teachers. (Also she used to bitch about us to them, so yeah.) When I tell you it made me euphoric to see the look on her face when I got grades higher than her, it's a feeling out of this world. Because she couldn't comprehend how someone who was as carefree and absent-minded as me, someone who had was always busy making friends with everyone and didn't have her nose stuck in her book, someone who appeared to put the bare minimum effort, got better grades than her- it was amazing. (Don't worry, we're good friends now.)

Finally, I was someone who would get adrenaline rush when I used to be under pressure. Instead if breaking down, I used to thrive under pressure (its okay if u don't.) I was addicted to the feeling of working everything at the last minute and when I would get good grades, it was like "worth it" feeling every single time.

Oh also, one more thing that got me through this stressful time was this: this too shall pass. No matter how bad things may seem right now, no matter what important test you have failed or have to retake, always remember that bad times don't stay forever. So don't worry all too much, just a worry a bit.

Now that I'm in college, the stress levels here are on a whole different level now. College studies are way different than school studies. And there's a lot of students, so teachers aren't picking on me so I can't use the petty method to study. I do like to engage in a competition with my friends from time to time though. Its super fun. And this may make you a bit envious of me, but what ive observed here is that most times, my minimum effort vs my friends maximum efforts get me more often than not, grades higher than them. But remember, I wasn't a born prodigy. I'm still the little kid who thought her entire world was about to end when she got a 3/20 on Maths in grade 3 lol😂😂😂

*pats your head* Just find the loopholes, find your motivation, don't stress too much. It all works out in the end.

Your knowledge never goes to waste.

Hope this helped!

[pigeonp0st]

Kara Danvers x Reader #8

Words: 2,333

Summary: reader trades half her life for Kara’s

Warnings: Death, Depression

Notes:

I just wanted to nerd about philosophy and ponder about psychological egoism and it turned into this...sorry about spelling mistakes.

———

Psychological egoism; the theory that no one can truly be selfless. The theory that, even when we’re helping others, deep down we’re acting in our own self-interest.

When you came across the theory a couple of months ago you thought it was ridiculous. It was something you couldn’t believe, not when your girlfriend seemed like the paragon of selflessness.

Kara.

Kara who risks her life everyday for the people of National City, Kara who risks her life for the world. Kara who has lost, and Kara who keeps on fighting anyways. Kara who cares, who cares so much.

Kara gives, and she gives, and she gives, and she’s dying because of it now, so she isn’t a bad person. She isn’t a bad person, but now you’re starting to think that selfishness doesn’t necessarily need to mean bad. When selfishness brings you to help others, it isn’t a bad thing. It can’t be.

You don’t want to be a bad person. You have to believe that the decision you made an hour ago was the right one, because when the disfigured voice spoke to you with it’s compelling offer of; half of your life for Kara’s survival/revival...you couldn’t say no.

———

When Kara wakes up from her coma a day later, not even the mystery voice saying: “it’s done” in it’s weird enchanting voice keeps you from your relief and joy.

If your decision was ‘selfishy good’ in nature, if it was just selfless, or even if it was just plain selfish...well, you can’t really bring yourself to care right now because Kara is smiling and hugging you and...and fuck everything else.

This is worth it. Even if you hit the halfway point of your life tomorrow and die...this is worth it. It’s Kara. Kara who sacrifices a lot, but Kara whose worth sacrifices too. So yeah. ‘It’s done’... and it’s okay.

———

It’s not okay.

It’s not okay because when you get into a near death experience a year after Kara looks at you like she just experienced another world dying.

She holds you when you wake up in the hospital bed like you’re made of glass. She holds you like you’re the most precious thing on earth.

It’s not okay because it’s unfair, because it hurts how much you’re going to hurt her, because even while the decision you made a year ago isn’t something you’d change, you hate it anyways.

It’s not okay because Kara proposes to you. She proposes to you right there, with you in the hospital bed. She proposes to you and makes a beautiful speech talking about forever, talking about happinesses. She paints a beautiful picture of the future with her words, because she’s Kara Danvers the Pulitzer Prize winner, and you want.

You want. Desperately.

You can’t have.

Kara says, with her beautiful tear streaked cheek, with her embarrassed eye shifting, “I can’t imagine my life without you,” and suddenly ‘want’ turns into hatred. Not hatred…

It turns into rage. Rage, and helplessness, so much helplessness, and pain. All consuming pain. Pain that floods your eyes with tears until your choking on sobs, until your body is shaking. Pain.

Pain that Kara doesn’t understand—can’t understand because you’ve never been able to tell her about the sacrifice you made a year ago.

She gets her own type of pain though, when you force out a trembling, and raspy; “No—no Kara. No.”

“What?” Kara asks, with a look that’s somehow disbelieving, and unsurprised. Like a part of her always expects to not be enough.

You shut your eyes against the look on her face—against the deathly silent—and you wish for different. You wish to be in another timeline where things don’t hurt as much, you wish for a timeline where the offer of forever with the women you love isn’t just waking up everyday for as long as you have left wondering if it’s the day your forever is cut short too soon.

It doesn’t work.

The pain, the helplessness, the rage, it leads to you doing something selfish, but this time there’s no question about whether or not it’s the ‘good selfish’. It’s just selfish. It’s selfish but you’re tired, so you tell Kara about that day a year ago where she shouldn’t have woken up from her coma.

You weren’t going to tell her because you know Kara, you know that she’ll try to change your fate if it’s the last thing she does, and you know that when it eventually fails it’ll crush her completely, because being brave enough to hope then having it squashed...it’s awful.

——-

When you’re done with your retelling you say, “I don’t want to be alone anymore,” with a look on your face that Kara never wanted to see, a look that can only be described as...heavy. Unbearably heavy.

Kara’s own face is full of darkness. There’s a hauntedness about her as she sits silently in her seat, staring at you, and it’s scary because Kara isn’t here anymore. Not mentally.

——-

It takes nearly half an hour for Kara to come back, and when she does she doesn’t react the way you expect her to. You expect sobs and pleas, and hope, and anger.

What you get instead is her arm pulling you into a hug, and her face pressed against your neck, and silent tears wetting the collar of your hospital gown.

What you get is fear. Her fear that sits over you like a blanket.

And an hour later, what you get is a whispered, “Why does it feel like nothing in life will ever go right?”

“I’m sorry, Kara,” you say, though you aren’t. “Saving you was practically saving the world...you’re a hero.” You know Kara doesn’t think she’s worth it as is. Appealing to her hero is the only way you can think to make her understand.

“I know you’re tired of hurting—”

“Please,” Kara cuts in. You feel her jaw clench. “I never asked you to defend yourself. What’s done is done, I just want to lay here.”

Lay here and pretend her world hasn’t been shattered. Lay here and not think about the future, or the past.

“I just…” you pause, pulling away to examine Kara’s face. “I feel like i’ve just really hurt you in a big way.”

“I don’t want to think about it,” Kara says, and it sounds like a plea. “I don’t want to— Fuck.”

And now she’s sobbing, and you’re pulling her back into the hug while she shakes her head over and over again, while she squeezes her eyes shut.

These were the sobs you were expecting. These sobs that only someone who has lost as much as Kara can manage. They’re loud and full of heartbreak, she’s shouting broken questions that aren’t for you all the while, and this was what you were expecting but it’s...it’s unfair.

——-

Her emotions change quickly during her processing period but none of it is anger...it’s all just sort of defeat manifested in different ways.

Kara feels defeated. She feels helpless...and this isn’t what you wanted.

——-

It’s two weeks after the incident in the hospital that Kara decides it’s time to actually talk about ‘it’ with you. You know she’s been going to Alex and her friends for advice, you’re glad she’s finally going to you.

“I feel like I'm mourning you while you’re still alive, and I hate it,” Kara admits, eyes downcast. “I hate that I feel like I can’t talk to you, because I know you didn’t want to tell me for a year because you didn’t want to make me sad and-”

“And that’s exactly what you are,” you finish for her, laughing in a way that’s not at all humorous.

Kara closes her eyes, and whispers, brokenly, “I'm so sad,” in her agreement. “I’m sad, I'm lost, I'm angry, I'm desperate...I don’t know how to feel yet I feel so much—I just—Rao Y/N, I just want you to be okay,” Kara says, and you know. You know. Have known since last year, watching Alex brokenly try to tell you that Kara might not make it this time. You know how it hurts.

It hurts hearing that the person you love is going to die. It hurts in an all encompassing way that makes the future seem so terrifying.

But there’s nothing that can save you now.

“Lena is- she’s trying to find a way.”

That doesn’t really surprise you. You used to believe that there was nothing Lena couldn’t do if she really wanted it...but this...well it has to be impossible. How are you supposed to change the fate granted to you by a higher being…?

“Alex is trying too,” Kara says, “she and Brainy are contacting everyone they can think of to help you.”

The thought of your friends fighting so hard for you makes your eyes water and your chest hurt. The Superfriend always land on top when they work together, they always win...

“How?” You ask, your voice trembling on the word. “Kara, how?”

Kara glances up from where she was glaring holes into the edge of the couch to look at you. She hesitates for a moment before saying; “they believe that if they can somehow grant you immortality they can save you…”

No.

“Kara,” you whisper, feeling a large amount of guilt, “I don’t want to live forever.”

And Kara knows. She knows but— “but then you won’t even have a full life,Y/N.”

She sounds so terrified again, when she says that, that you can’t even say anything in response but shake your head.

“If you’re supposed to die,” Kara pauses, studying your face, “am i supposed to- do you just want me to just let you?”

She sounds repulsed by the idea...but…

“Yes, Kara. Yes. You’re supposed to let me.”

The, ‘I don’t believe you can change this and I don’t want this to hurt you more than it should’, goes unsaid by you.

———

Kara doesn’t listen. She tries, and she tries, and she tries, for months, and only months because you die 5 months after your initial accident.

The doctors have no clue why...you just pass peacefully in your sleep one day and leave Kara to wake up next to you trying to shake you awake and pleading for you to just “wake up, please, please.”

Kara is devastated.

More devastated than any of her friends expects, more devastated than Alex expects. They’re trying to help her but they lost you too and everything is just harder because of it.

Kara tries for revival. She asks John Constantine and everyone she can think of but everything doesn’t work and eventually Alex has to force her to stop.

After is what Kelly calls Kara’s second phase of grief. Her first stage, denial, went longer than Kelly expected so she expects the second phase to last a long time too.

It doesn’t. Kara’s anger seeps out of her quickly.

Stage three doesn’t last long either. The “what if’s” and “if only’s” just feel pointless to Kara.

She settles into stage four though. She settles into it and stays. Depression fills all the empty spaces in her apartment where you used to be, and it tries to fill the place in her heart that used to be for you. Depression stays.

Kara avoids going home because it isn’t home anymore. It’s the place you died. It’s the place where your things are scattered around everywhere like they belong, but they don’t belong anymore, because you aren’t there. You aren’t there, so the stupid mug on the nightstand shouldn’t be there anymore but it is.

You aren’t there so your clothes shouldn’t still be in her closet, and your toothbrush should be in the trash, and everything should just be gone. Everything should just be gone because you aren’t- you aren’t there.

You aren’t there and Kara hurts, because you’re supposed to be home. You’re supposed to be home with her. You're supposed to be her home.

You can’t be anymore.

Kara grows to hate the word “forever” because it’s just a whole bunch of lies, she grows to hate the word “sorry” because it’s all anyone ever says to her anymore, she grows to hate people saying “you’ll be okay” because she won’t be.

She grows to hate the word “hope.”

Hope people say, as if hope isn’t just denial trying to look pretty. Hope as if doing so isn’t just deluding yourself so things feel worth it.

Lena tells her one day that there needs to be hope, because there needs to be light. Without it you’re just lost in the darkness.

Lena tells her that but she looks uncertain, like she believes the ‘light’ is just a myth or a trick of the eye meant to just keep you moving.

So Kara hates hope, and she hates lies, but she loves love.

She loves the love, and support, and all of the things her friends give each other to make everything better for a while.

Kara hates hope but she still believes in trying anyways, so she begins to try after a while. She tries to get more sleep, she tries to spend more time with her friends, she tries to talk about feelings, and she tries to make fighting feel worth it.

She tries but she still misses. She misses desperately, but she eventually hits the final stage of acceptance.

Acceptance doesn’t feel like the final stage because Kara still hurts, and she still wants things she can never have, but she never even imagined she’d get here a year ago when you were lifeless in her bed—so this is fine.

This is fine. Kara finally places the mug on your nightstand in the sink and sobs while she washes it, but this is fine.

This is fine.

Kara wanted more than fine. She wanted you.

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

UA School Headcanon stuff

While doing POTSOD I realized that the UA teacher stuff is very low. We need more teachers!

So- Headcanon time with me ranting about how I think the teacher system works for UA.

First though: random facts I know about the Japanese school system:

-The students clean the school (Other then bathrooms). This isn’t actually a law but it is a general practice.

-Japanese homeroom teachers move grades with the class.

-The school year looks like the following.

Second week in April: School begins

May 3: Constitution Memorial Day

May 5: Children’s Day

End of July through the end of August: Summer vacation

September 15: Respect-for-the-Aged Day

September 23 (or 24): Autumnal Equinox Day

October 10: Health-Sports Day

November 3: Culture Day 

November 23: Labor Thanksgiving Day

December 23: Emperor’s Birthday

December 25 through January 7: Winter vacation

January 15: Adults’ Day

February 11: National Foundation Day

March 21 (or 20): Vernal Equinox Day

Third week in March: School ends, and spring vacation begins

Rambly Collection of Headcanons and Thoughts about the above

I am making the decision- I ignore canon again because it doesn’t make sense.

So- you can fight me on the idea that the USJ happens like two days after their first day of school!!! It’s stupid!!

 Honestly- I’m thinking that it takes place their second week of school.

 I’ll give the battle trials cause All Might is a bad teacher or just one who is very naive about kids. Or who knows, maybe sparring is fine first…

 You know what. Yes. Sparring is fine first day of classes, and his choice to spice it up a bti was accepted by Nezu. Aizawa just thinks he’s a dumbass.

But anyway, back to my thoughts: I don’t think UA would have the students clean. Why? Because hero students have a lot of physical activity during the day, and then have no energy to clean, the support students are similar to. So it wouldn’t be fair to JUST have two courses clean. 

Also random thought: Scholarships are given to anyone who passes the hero entrance exam but cannot afford to go to school. This is provided by the teachers themselves and actually not related to the school. Because they all came from different backgrounds.

Staffing (Non Teachers)

Staff, in canon, goes like:

Nezu- Principal

Lunch Rush- Chef

Recovery Girl- Nurse

Hound Dog- Guidance Counsellor.

(Fun story: I was about to add Cece and then remembered that she’s fanon, not canon.)

 Due to the above, I realize that there really isn’t a lot of like… staff members, and it’s fine. I just think we probably have more. 

For instance, we need more counsellors than one person. So I propose that each course gets its own special one for each year.

 Meaning that there are 12 counsellors hired by the school with Hound Dog above them as the head counsellor.

Then Recovery Girl. If I remember right, she had people with her for Izuku’s surgery.

 So I say she has like four assistants. 

 Lunch Rush cooks everything by himself because I headcanon that’s his Quirk. Like the ability to make so much food for a school.

 But he does have kitchen staff who do the dishes and clean it. 

I however have a special idea about that.

Given UA accepts students from ALL over Japan and from all economic background, but as hero classes can leave students hurt or needing to miss a couple of days of work which is a no go for most jobs without lots of warning… UA hires students who need a job to work in the kitchen cleaning. 

 Similar as well to the cleaning of the school and landscaping. They have a couple of people who are overseeing them, but they hire students.

Librarian- they have three and then hire students to stock the shelves. 

 UA is allowed to do this because they are the top school, and because they take students from all over.

Then we have to have a secretary/receptionist and a vice principal

So- Staff List

Nezu- Principal

Vice Principal

Receptionist

Recovery Girl- Nurse

RG’s Assistants (4)

Lunch Rush- Chef

Hound Dog- Guidance Counsellor and Head Counsellor

12 Counsellors- one for each course and each year.

4 People who oversee Landscaping/Cleaning duties

Staff (Teachers-1A)

As Japanese home room teachers move with their classes, I propose that in UA each year has teachers also moving up. This is for bonding purposes.

 So, with a focus on 1A-

Aizawa- Home Room 

All Might- Foundational Heroics Teacher

Midnight- Modern Hero Art History Teacher

Present Mic- English Teacher

Ectoplasm- Mathematics

Snipe- Unknown

Cementoss- Modern Literature

Power Loader- Unknown, fanon says he’s Home Room for Hatsume’s class.

Thirteen- Special teacher

… That’s not enough.

Like- where’s science? Where’s social studies? Like what?

I like the idea Power Loader is the homeroom teacher for Hatsume so… he’s gone.

Snipe- I kinda like the idea of Snipe teaching social studies (That is teaching about current events and stuff) So there.

Midnight… I hate it. Modern Art- no. That’s… no. Just… It doesn’t make sense for a hero school to have that teacher. It just… it just doesn’t.

Heroic History? Yes. 

That still leaves Science. And Maybe heroic law.

 Thirteen is apparently a special teacher… I would like to propose though that they are also the science teacher simply because like why not.

 Also- with how Midnight does come in to help with Name, I now headcanon that the teachers pull double duty and work as specialists to.

As we are focusing ONLY on 1A, I don’t think they’d have more teachers then this simply because hero students probably don’t need a bunch of stuff- most of their time is spent training.

So- new list.

Aizawa- Home Room 

All Might- Foundational Heroics Teacher

Midnight- Heroic History 

Present Mic- English Teacher

Ectoplasm- Mathematics

Snipe- Social Studies

Cementoss- Modern Literature

Thirteen- Science

Heroic Law Teacher

UA School Week for 1A

Okay, so the normal time period for Japanese Schools: 8:30-3:15. Also- apparently Saturday school is no longer a thing in Japan unless it’s a cram school.

Which UA doesn’t allow their students to attend as they want their students to rest. 

But, anyway.

So…

8:30-3:15. 

Lets say each class lasts an hour and I think lunch lasts an hour to.

So: 8:30-9:00 Homeroom.

9:00-10:00- One class (English or Social Studies alternating days)

10:00-11:00 Second class (History or Science Alternating days)

11:00-12:00 Third class (Mathematics or Heroic Law alternating days)

12:00-1:00- lunch

1:00-3:15- Physical heroics.

That’s how I think the day is set up.

Except Fridays- which are either field trip days or are

8:30-10:00- Homeroom

10:00-11:00 Club activities or an elective

11:00-12:00 Club activities or an elective

12:00-1:00 Lunch

1:00-3:15- Physical heroics.

And that’s it!

Hope you guys enjoyed this.