#(and yes himself; ambition being his big flaw or whatever)

[commanderhorncleaver]

Gaius's thoughts on Smodur? (@ratasum)

Gaius, for an extended period, rather idolized Smodur? This tapered off long before Icebrood Saga, but the most notable point for it during the run of the game is the early part of LW1, when the player is allowed to investigate/meet with the refugees in the Citadel, as well as dick around and see what the defense Quorum is up to before meeting with Rytlock. Apparently, the guards aren't supposed to let people through, but the commander's got special privileges, and you can talk to Smodur there--though I imagine the interaction is brief, as it is in-game, Gaius comes away from it all but preening.

Smodur, for all intents and purposes, was the epitome of what it meant to be Iron Legion, so Gaius had an inextricable desire to impress him. And then Gaius' viewpoint continues to grow and develop, on account of being the commander and most notably, while dead, he meets the ghost of a charr who died in a skirmish with Flame, and he suddenly recognizes how it all sucks.

IBS comes along and he's... not in a much happier spot. Smodur totes him around, and where just years ago he'd have reveled in it, he recognizes just how shitty it is. Then of course, killing Cinder.

Overall, his feelings towards Smodur are complicated--as someone who was also very much part of the War Machine of legion life, someone who lived and aspired to be part of the propaganda, he understands where Smodur is at, especially because not only is he a part of it, he is in charge--Smodur has very real responsibility, and in the face of that, it's hard to face change.

Gaius doesn't agree with most of the things of his relevance during IBS, or even political things we aren't necessarily privy too, but he also knows that Smodur was pretty progressive in a lot of ways, too, and appreciates that.

[dark-and-kawaii]

༺ 𝒜 𝒟𝑒𝓋𝒾𝓁 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒 ༻

You never expected a Devil to be your savior, never expected to be cherished by him…

PRT 2 (CLICK HERE) - Fluff - Soft Raphael - Past Talk About Abuse

Gazing outside his balcony, you watched as yet another red storm began to stir throughout Avernus. The wilted trees bend to the will of the fiery winds. The overcast clouding your view of the mountains, and with a deep sigh this dreary day has brought back memories you had thought you’d forgotten. A life full of pain and restrictions… But the devil took you away from it all, and gave you a new life with new meaning.

With a subtle startled expression as you felt your hand graze one of the small buttons on your wrist, you look down with a warm smile as you continue to run your hand along the soft cotton of Raphael’s opulent dress shirt. You nearly had forgotten that on days such as this you quite enjoy stealing his shirts. They always brought you such comfort and joy, who would’ve thought… A devil bringing you such comfort. It’s laughable really. Holding your arm to your lips you can smell the scent of cherries and sulfur, it relaxes your muscles and you can’t help but to thank him aloud to yourself, “Thank you, my devil.”

“For what, pray tell little mouse of mine?”

And just like a tiny mouse, squealing wasn’t the right word for the noise you had just made… But with a tiny cute noise, you hastily turned around on his silken bed to face the devil himself, Raphael… He was always so handsome no matter the form he took, right now though he appeared human. His milk chocolate eyes watching you with interest, his hand resting on his chin. Everything about him was so grandiose and each time you looked him in the eyes your heart would skip a beat.

The Devil wasn’t perfect, he had his flaws just as everyone else did… He also had his own ambitions to rule the 9 hells… But, for whatever reason, those flaws made him even more special to you. Yes, he was the son of Mephistopheles. Yes, he is technically one of the “bad” guys, but… unlike the last villain that had captured you… Raphael was soft with you, treated you as if you were some sort of delicate flower that would break apart if not careful. He had his souls he enjoyed to flail and torture, yet with you it was different… the devil had no need to put you through such horrors. He cherished and protected you like a dragon with its hoard of treasure.

“R-Raphael- I uh-… Thank you… For…”

Just his presence alone made you flustered, it couldn’t be helped.

“It would seem that the cat has caught this little mouse’s tongue.” A small laugh emanated from his chest, “How, precious.”

You grin at his response.

Damn near everyone would disagree with you, but in your eyes, Raphael wasn’t foul, not like Astarion was… This devil you came to know throughout your adventure didn’t hold you by a leash… Didn’t force you down whenever he pleased, or gauge your neck with his teeth to prove a point- Your flushed face reducing to a pale complexion as your hand cups where Astarion left his mark on you. A chill runs down your spine remembering when Astarion the Ascended chained you for days… All because you wanted to run out into the city for some fresh brioche and to say hello to Gale.

Raphael, a devil, son of Mephistopheles… Never chained you nor held you against your will. He let you run out into the real world… Let you do as you pleased. You knew he’d make Korilla follow after you. But it wasn’t due to lack of trust, it was plainly because he wanted to keep you safe and out of the Vampires grasps.

Like a falling feather, you gracefully glide off Raphael’s bed. His shirt on you flowed at the bottom thanks to it being far too big on you making this scene before him look like it was out of a book- and into his chest you fell. Your arms wrapping around him while your cheek pressed against his arm that crossed against his chest.

“What’s better than a devil you do know?” You looked up at him questioning.

“By all means please do enlighten me.” His hand never left his face and his other arm stayed crossed over his chest as you embrace him.

“A devil thats your savior…” -You looked away from him, staring back out the balcony-, “I don’t think you’d ever find a quote like that in a book, but I’m thankful for you, Raphael. Truly. Thank you.” You press your face into him, your lashes fluttering close.

Raphael would never tell you how he waited for your hope to whittled down to the very marrow of despair- how he waited for you to whimper his name between sobs while chained to the vampires personal bed. The Devil would also never admit how it pained him to see such a treasure being handled in such ways, yet he wanted you to call out to him. He’s still a devil after all… So he waited all that year, waited for you to call out his name for help, pleading to sign whatever it is he desired…

“You didn’t belong with such filth.”- you didn’t need to look up to know he was scrunching his face, you could hear it in his voice- “Fine beauty such as yourself belongs in a much more suitable home.” He finally moved his hand from his face to the top of your head. Petting you like some adored pet.

Raphael, from the moment he laid eyes on you, knew he'd make you apart of his plan forever someday. He just didn’t expect you to vanish all of a sudden… The damn vampire had ascended and taken you… All those years you were caged like some sort of animal. Nowhere to go, forced into things you wanted no part of… Living like a rat.

A rarity had shown its face as Raphael peered down at you, you didn’t see it and Raphael could only hope for once that Haarlep didn’t see the concern on his face.

Astarion still walks among the living, and Raphael can’t be everywhere…

[edelgarfield]

I've had this sitting in my drafts for a bit, unsure whether it was worth saying anything, but imo the take that "the writers said Gale blowing himself up was the best ending" is a willfully bad faith interpretation of what the interview in question actually said.

the interviewer says they felt that ending was the right ending, one of the writers replies "in many ways it is" which is neither agreeing nor disagreeing, and then goes on to discuss the themes that ending was meant to evoke. like I'm not really sure what other response would be appropriate. telling the interviewer "actually, that's a bad ending and you're a bad person if you like it" would be wildly unprofessional and also in complete opposition to the way the game is designed. the right ending is the one you, the player, feel is the right ending, for whatever reason.

then the head writer says that Gale starts off annoying everyone, referencing his magic items thing, and it's just like. some of the first conversations you can have with Gale are him being a condescending jerk towards you about magic if you're not a wizard. if you're aware of Gale's mechanic, then yes, it's easy to set aside items specifically for him and he only does it three times. but if it's your first playthrough and you don't know, it's very easy to get backed into a corner where you DO feel pressured to give Gale a useful item. and on a personal level, no, of course Gale isn't being annoying by needing magic items to survive. but the point is that the mechanic is intended to evoke real-world feelings of annoyance and frustration from the player. it's gameplay and story integration.

then, when he reveals the orb, you learn that he's been putting your lives at risk this whole time. his reasons are understandable and other characters do the same thing, but it's still a breach of trust and people are justified in feeling put off by it.

Gale in early Act 1 is literally designed to be frustrating and off-putting, both on a personal level and from a gameplay standpoint, and tbh, acting like he isn't just feels like ignoring such a big part of his character. like, the whole point is that the arrogant, condescending wizard persona is how Gale compensates for feeling unworthy as a person, and that's an integral part of WHY his ambition is his fatal flaw, and WHY striving for power will never make him truly happy. and also he's earned his arrogance by being a damn good wizard. like yes he's a sweetheart, dorky, funny, and I think he's an amazing, realistic representation of depression and, for lack of a better term, "gifted kid syndrome" set against a fantasy backdrop, but that doesn't change his flaws. his arrogance is part of his charm.

[seattlesea]

Why Percabeth Isn’t a Good Ship (Sorry 2x)

I’m definitely getting cancelled- 

1. Annabeth is physically abusive. The fandom makes this point seem controversial and debatable, but it’s really not. The definition of abuse is hitting someone. Annabeth hit Percy. Therefore, Annabeth abused Percy. Is that really that hard to understand? Annabeth hit Percy for the first time in The Titan’s Curse when she, Percy, and Thalia were looking for the di Angelo siblings. She punched him in the gut when he asked her who he should ask to dance with him. Annabeth knows that Percy can be oblivious at times...but punishes him when it benefits her? The second time was in The Mark of Athena, when she judo-flipped him because she missed him. That’s...what?? Usually when people are worried about someone else, they hug or kiss them, not flip them over their shoulder. And yes Annabeth kissed him first, but the judo-flip was completely unnecessary. Annabeth punished Percy for ‘leaving’ her despite him being kidnapped and his memory wiped. And everyone’s like ‘But Percy didn’t feel any pain!!11!!1!’ The chapter wasn’t in his point of view, so that claim is a guess. Just cause he didn’t say ‘Ow’ doesn’t mean he wasn’t in pain. Also- Annabeth slammed him on a stone pavement on his back. That definitely hurts, even if Percy is a demigod, physically strong, and has gotten hurt a lot. There’s a difference between ‘playful hitting’ and actually hurting someone. Yes they trained a lot, but this isn’t training. This is Annabeth punishing Percy for being traumatized with yet another life-threatening quest and being kidnapped. I don’t remember Percy judo-flipping Annabeth after he saw her again when she got kidnapped in TTC. Besides, the Romans were about to take out their weapons when they saw Annabeth attack Percy, so if all of them thought it was an attack...it was most likely an attack. Even Annabeth said herself “I only attack my boyfriend like that”. The thing is, if it was Percy who flipped Annabeth over his shoulder and slammed her on her back or punched her in the gut, all the fans immediately would’ve freaked out and cancelled him, calling him a horrible and abusive boyfriend, but because it’s the girl hitting the guy, it’s fine apparently. Nothing wrong with it, right? And then Riordan (and the fandom) had the audacity to romanticize that abuse. Abuse isn’t a sweet, romantic gesture. Stop making it seem like it is. That’s disgusting. 

2. Annabeth is also verbally abusive and toxic. Annabeth canonically lowered Percy’s self-esteem, constantly insulted him and his intelligence despite knowing he was insecure about it and always getting kicked out of schools and getting bad grades (even with her so-called ‘endearing’ name for him ‘Seaweed Brain’), and the overall idea of Percabeth is a super smart, pretty girl making a guy with below average intelligence feel insecure about himself. Percy’s self-esteem has plummeted since he met Annabeth and her behavior is never called out or even noticed, which implies some manipulation going on. Annabeth is shown to be extremely capable of manipulating her enemies and anyone else she pleases, and there are quite a few signs she’s using it against Percy (his feelings of obligation, fear, and guilt of and over her, questioning himself, having strings attached, always only thinking of her and no one else in his life, etc.), especially since Percy begins to gradually stop noticing Annabeth’s wrong and toxic behavior as the story progresses. 

3. Annabeth only likes Percy cause he’s the chosen one. Annabeth only hung around Percy since The Lightning Thief cause she thought he was ‘the one’ and so she could finally go on a quest. She literally used Percy to go out to the mortal world and ‘prove herself’ cause really, all she cares about is glory, which is shown multiple times throughout the series with all her pride and ambitions. Plus the fact that Chiron made Annabeth swear on the River Styx that she would keep Percy from danger is a pretty clear sign she didn’t stick around him just cause she wanted to, but because she felt obligated to and cause it would benefit her. Take all of this and it’s kind of obvious Annabeth only hung around Percy cause he was the chosen one of the prophecy, a son of one of the Big Three, and was destined to go on multiple quests and play a big part in the mythological world, which is what she always wanted since book one.

4. It was forced. Since the beginning of book one, it was so obvious that Percy and Annabeth were going to get together that their relationship ended up being boring, dull, and flat. Riordan made it so obvious they were going to be a couple that nothing that happened to their relationship really mattered, cause everyone knew it would work out in the end (which is probably why everyone *wrongly* hated on Rachel) so what happened in between didn’t matter. Their relationship was the typical ‘male lead and female lead’, ‘bad boy trouble-maker skater and nerdy good girl’ power couple that was way too clear. And Riordan made it worse by pushing their relationship and shoving it into the readers’ faces way too much. In MoA Annabeth states that she’s always had a crush on Percy (since they were twelve) which immediately rips all the development their relationship (which was supposedly ‘friends to lovers’, but not anymore) had away. Riordan made up a bunch of honestly dumb scenarios that were legit cringe to make Percabeth seem like ‘OTP’ that really didn’t make sense.

5. It ruined their characters. Percy and Annabeth would’ve been way better off as just friends. After they got together in HoO, all their personality and everything else that made them independent was destroyed to make room for more ‘Percabeth’. All of Annabeth’s skills, bravery, intelligence, pride, ferocity, judgmentalism, and all the other traits and flaws that made her a well-written character were never utilized or even mentioned. All she thought about was Percy, and the same goes for him. His loyalty, sarcasm, humor, obliviousness, etc. disappeared to make room for arrogant Annabeth fanboy. In PJO, they were amazingly well-written and great role models for younger readers (especially Annabeth), but in HoO their characters were exclusively ‘Annabeth’s boyfriend’ and ‘Percy’s girlfriend’. Their characters were completely dependent on each other, and they were way better off as just friends. 

6. Annabeth is way too possessive. And creepy. It’s fine and honestly normal for people to get jealous when another person likes someone they do, but Annabeth’s jealousy was downright creepy. Not only did she not know if her feelings for Percy were reciprocated or not, but she also didn’t know if Percy and Rachel liked each other, either. The very first time she met Rachel she immediately hated her. That’s not ‘I’m jealous cause this girl likes the guy I do’, that’s ‘I’m jealous cause the guy I like has another female friend’. She had no reason to believe that Rachel and Percy liked each other and has no say in who they can like, either. She thought that she and Percy absolutely had to be in a relationship and that he couldn’t even have friends with different genitals than him. And remember when Annabeth literally stalked Percy in The Sea of Monsters? Like when she creeped by his window, constantly watched him, and kept tabs on him just cause she ‘couldn’t find the right time’ to tell him something cause he was ‘never alone’ despite him being alone multiple times and despite the fact that she literally could’ve just knocked on his door like a normal person instead of creeping around his cabin and staring at him through the windows? Again- switch the roles. If it was Percy who was stalking Annabeth, everyone would’ve immediately called him a creep. If- according to Tumblr and almost everyone who read Twilight- Edward is a creep for stalking Bella, then Annabeth is a creep for stalking Percy. 

7. It’s mostly fan love. Honestly, the fandom is the only thing that fuels Percabeth. Riordan just destroys it. He shoved it down the readers’ throats, forced it way too much with really dumb and honestly unrealistic scenarios, and made it abusive and toxic. On its own, Percabeth freaking sucks. The fandom’s version of Percabeth is 1000x better than whatever the hell Riordan was doing, but even that version is toxic. Like, I’ve seen way too many jokes about Annabeth hitting Percy (as if abuse is hilarious and amazing meme fuel and not an extremely sensitive topic that triggers multiple people who actually went through it). Half the time, the fandom fixes Percabeth and the other half of the time they over-glorify and ruin it. The fandom over exaggerates and over glorifies it way too much. It’s not that great of a relationship, to be honest. Most of y’all only like it in the first place cause Riordan made it canon.

8. It was cringey. Like I said above, Riordan wrote some really dumb scenes for Percabeth. I mean- the matching gray streaks in their hair despite Atlas and Artemis not getting any? Percy’s tie to the mortal world while bathing in the River Styx being Annabeth and not his mom, Grover, etc.? Percy only remembering Annabeth, the girl he’s only known for four years and not his mom, the only woman who actually cared for and took care of him or Grover, his best friend who protected and continuously cared about him? Percy turning down immortality only for Annabeth and not even bothering to mention the pain of leaving behind his life, friends, family, memories, etc. behind if he accepted it? The romanticized judo-flip? The whole ‘dark-haired rebellious bad boy/nerdy blonde good girl who can be bad’ trope? Even the boring predictability of Percabeth is cringe. 

9. It’s a bad influence on younger readers. Basically the lesson of Percabeth is ‘Once you get a love interest nothing else in your life matters’. Besides that one single scene that took like three lines in The Son of Neptune, Percy never even thought of his own mom, nor did he think about any of his friends or passed allies like his dad, Rachel, Grover, Paul, Silena, Luke, Ethan, Bob/Iapetus, Tyson, Calypso, Charles, Michael (whose death he accidentally caused), Bianca, Zoë, etc. Even when in Tartarus with the curse of the Arai being forced to remember all the people he forgot and feeling guilty about abandoning Bob and Calypso, all he thought about was Annabeth. Even when faced with the man who broke the heart of the girl who sacrificed herself for him, Percy didn’t even think of her, only his jealousy of Jason. Same thing with Annabeth. She never thought about her mom, Luke, Thalia, her step-mom or step-brothers, etc. It was all about Percy. Cause yes, Riordan, that’s exactly the lesson you should teach your younger readers- forget everyone you ever knew the moment you get a partner. Besides that, it also teaches readers that being rude to people who like the same person as you is completely okay cause no one will care and once you start being rude, bitter, and possessive you’ll get exactly what you want (that’s literally what happened, with Annabeth and with Calypso, too). He also teaches that after you get a partner, everything that makes you you will disappear and you’ll be completely dependent on them and nothing in your life will matter, even your own independent life and personality. 

10. The fandom tries to excuse and explain Annabeth’s behavior??? What??? Since when does explaining and excusing hitting people put you in the right again? And the excuses aren’t even good, too! Percabeth fans use-  Annabeth was full of emotions/mad and doesn’t know how to deal with emotions. Annabeth really loved Percy. It was only one time. Annabeth was worried about Percy and mad that she left him. Annabeth didn’t mean to hurt him. Annabeth didn’t know what she was doing cause she was full of emotions. ??? Annabeth was full of emotions/mad and doesn’t know how to deal with emotions- Annabeth was seventeen years old, the daughter of the wisdom goddess, and is supposedly the smartest character in the series who is shown to be extremely good at reading people and their emotions. And y’all are really trying to say she doesn’t know how to deal with her emotions?  Annabeth really loved Percy- SO? A mother might really love her child, does that excuse her for hitting them for dumb reasons? It was only one time- actually, it was twice, and so what? If someone was slapped across the face ‘only one time’, does that mean they weren’t abused? ‘Abuse’ doesn’t mean ‘hit constantly’, it means ‘hit’. If someone was hit, they were abused. Is that really not a known fact in this fandom? Annabeth was worried about Percy and mad that she left him- last time I checked, people didn’t hit others when they were worried about them. If I was worried that my friend was going to get hurt, I wouldn’t hurt them myself. That literally makes no sense. And again- Percy didn’t leave Annabeth. He was kidnapped. Do y’all not know the definition of that, either? Annabeth didn’t mean to hurt him- yes, cause that’s why she decided to flip him over her shoulder, slam him on a stone pavement on his back, and punish him for ‘leaving her’.  Annabeth didn’t know what she was doing cause she was full of emotions- Annabeth??? the daughter of the wisdom goddess??? not knowing what she’s doing??? huh??? I mean, would any of you really, legitimately try to use any of these dumb excuses to excuse a man from hitting his wife? Hopefully not. And if you did, you would immediately get hated on and legit cancelled. So what makes this any different? Also- I see the excuse ‘Annabeth didn’t know Percy lost his Achilles Heel and thought he was still invincible’. Under different circumstances I’d accept that, but Annabeth knew that Percy’s Achilles Heel was on the small of his back...BUT SHE SLAMMED HIM ON HIS BACK. If Percy hadn’t lost the Achilles Heel, Annabeth literally would’ve killed him. Abusive enough for y’all? Or is attempted murder excusable and still ‘OTP’? 

11. They had no chemistry whatsoever. Was I the only one who felt...absolutely no chemistry between Percy and Annabeth? Like some of their moments were cute, their friendship was really good, and they had a lot of potential, but they didn’t feel right for each other. Remember- opposites don’t attract (they just argue, and no one has ‘another half’ that needs to ‘complete them’, everyone is their own person), they cancel each other out. I mean, Reyna and Annabeth had more chemistry in that one chapter of the New Rome tour in MoA than Percy and Annabeth had in 12+ books. They’re just...not right for each other, I guess. 

I’m definitely getting cancelled-

Edit 2: Sorry if I offended anyone with that last note. Just wanted to let y’all know that I am not here to start any drama, hurt anyone, or disrespect any Percabeth shippers. I respect your opinions 100% and only ask you do the same for me. Like I literally only wrote this at 12 am when I was bored and had nothing else to do and couldn’t sleep (same goes for pretty much everything else I write about PJ). Besides, why argue and start drama over dumb stuff like that when we can just find something we agree on? Don’t like Piper McLean? Let’s talk about that. Think Reyna Avila Ramirez-Arellano is a queen? Let’s talk about that. Think Nico di Angelo is freaking amazing? Let’s talk about that. Think Theyna would be adorable? Let’s talk about that. Want someone to vent to about writer’s block? Why the hell not? Want random writing advice and tips for writer’s block? Sure, I got plenty. Instead of arguing and starting beef over trivial fictional ships. 

[phantaloon-books]

(some) Riordanverse characters (bc I never read TKC) and which Hogwarts House I think they would be in

Warning: this is a long one

Nico: the dude is definitely Gryffindor without a doubt. Like Sorting isn't about some traits and some characteristics, it's about core personality. He may have gone through some of the roughest stuff when he was 10-12, and he was resentful and bitter, but he was brave and bold af throughout everything he did. From learning about his powers, to using them relentlessly despite knowing how exhausted he is afterwards, to his willingness to do whatever is necessary to do what has to be done, because it has to be done. You can't change my mind that he's Gryffindor lol.

Grover: Do I even need to explain why he's Gryffindor? He's a satyr, and even if we're shown strong satyrs, they're not really supposed to be brave fighters. Yet he is one of the strongest, bravest nature spirits we've ever encountered in the Riordanverse, and one of the bravest in general. Like he's so passionate about doing what is good, he's a hero, and the only thing he doesn't match with common Gryffindors is that he's humble and as far from arrogant as could be possible, but it doesn't take his courage away.

Hazel: She's Gryffindor, and core personality-wise, she and Nico are very much alike. They don't ever think about themselves, like Hazel really always does what has to be done, no matter the cost, I mean she literally died preventing Gaea to rise the first time, and she freed Thanatos while believing he would take her back to the Underworld. She's brave af, and she has one of the most strong willpower we've seen in the Riordanverse. She's a passionate hero, and she's the closest thing to a real knight in shining armor.

Lester: I'm gonna place him in Gryffindor because I don't think he fits in in the other houses lmao. That said, as Apollo he's very shitty, but as Lester, he's one of the most courageous people. He's grown so much, he's so willing to actually do stuff now, and sacrifice everything to do what's right, including his life, even if he doesn't know he's gonna survive. Hell, he really went most of TTT with an incredibly painful wound that nearly turned him undead, and he cared more for the future of Camp Jupiter than his own life. Additionally, he's a bit arrogant and cocky, but he truly means well, I love Lester so much.

Clarisse: Look look, all I have to say is that no one could have pulled off less than half the stuff Clarisse has done, she's so Gryffindor it hurts. She's reckless and impulsive, but she's driven by her passion to do good, even if she's the daughter of war, and was bullied by her own father. She's daring, she's bold and she is the hero. She's also arrogant and thinks she can solve everything by herself, something characteristic more of the canon Gryffindors in the books, rather than what the fans have shaped. In fact, she's very much like Gryffindors in the books, who are actually very rude to other houses and think they're the best. Still, at heart, she's in this house.

Alex: I'm in a huge dilemma about where to put them, but I reckon they'd fit pretty fine in Gryffindor. Not only are they daring and courageous, they're proud of who they are, but not in a too full of themselves kind of way, rather in a 'I am who I am, and if you can't accept me, fuck off' kind of way. They can get carried away rather easily though, and very arrogant, thinking they don't need anyone else, when they do in fact need some company. They are one of the kindest and at the same time most ambitious characters we've met, but they are brave beyond understanding in a very personal way, thus, Gryffindor.

Percy: I think it's fair to say he'd be Hufflepuff, because loyalty is literally his fucking fatal flaw, and he is the kindest sweetheart to all those who deserve it, he goes out of his way to help those who need help, whether that be mortals, halfbloods, gods, magical creatures or even his own enemies. He's too good for this world, and even if he's grown a bit bitter, he always looks to fight justly for what is right, and never loses faith in others. That, and the fact that he turned down immortality so that the olympians were more inclusive of minor gods, and their children were treated better. He's just a lovely soul, he's like 80% Hufflepuff so that's enough for me. All that and he's stubborn as hell.

Jason: Hufflepuff. Just, undoubtedly Hufflepuff. Like he seems to be this cold and self centered hero with a superiority complex (bc of all the son of Jupiter stuff) but he's the softest guy there is. Not only is he hardworking, open minded and kind, he appreciates justice but he doesn't seek for revenge or anything, he makes sure people are treated fairly and wants everyone to be accepted. Proof of that is how he continued Percy's job of including more gods, and made sure Nico felt comfortable with who he was. He truly has a heart of gold. (He deserved better btw)

Meg: God I can't decide between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, but I think I'll go with the former. She's so strong, my baby, she's faced so much wrong, but she's still so kind and understanding of others, especially those who deserve kindness. She puts up such a hard facade, but she's so patient and warm and inclusive. She's brave and strong (as strong as the big three kids, if not stronger), but she's also so loyal to her beliefs despite how she was forced someone else's beliefs for years, so I'll keep her in Hufflepuff. Also, she's stubborn af, and she can be lazy, so that settles it.

Will: I KNOW some people will say Will could be in other houses that are not Hufflepuff, BUT I won't have it any other way. Will is literally the warmest person ever. He is kind and sympathetic and enthusiastic and patient and inclusive. Like Helga Hufflepuff would take one look at him and lose her shit screaming "mine". He's the guy who saw the son of Hades so many people were scared of and immediately grabbed his hand and transfered him some warmth and didn't let him go ahead and get himself killed. He's also the one who everyone loves and likes, so much that Clarisse gets along with him and he can calm her down. He's the ideal Hufflepuff, you can't change my mind.

Magnus: I mean, what else can you expect from the son of the god of summer? He's literally a guy who heals others with warmth. He's also the guy who spent years on the street with the most difficult situations, and accepts every single person the way they are. He's inclusive af, and tolerant of everything. He's the guy who's closest include a deaf elf, a Muslim valkyrie, and a black dwarf, and he's dating a genderfluid person. Yes he's brave, and he's kinda smart, and he's ambitious, BUT none of those qualities overpower his Hufflepuff nature.

Piper: Kinda debated whether Gryffindor or Ravenclaw fits more, but in the end I went with Ravenclaw. Even though she isn't a fighter, she's very very brave, yet her bravery isn't compared to her wits. Like others in the PJOverse, she wins her fights by outsmarting her opponents, but unlike others that's one of her strongest traits. She's witty and creative and a little on the negative side, she really struggled to work in a group rather than by herself. On another note, she's able to keep calm in crazy situations and come up with the craziest most unthinkable solutions (I'm talking borderline ridiculous) that always somehow work. She's not booksmart, but she knows so much about everything, and she's lifesmart you know?

Reyna: Why are some of these so hard? Deeply debating whether she'd be Ravenclaw or Slytherin. In the end I'd go more for Ravenclaw though. Reyna's smart as hell, she's strong and sharp, and she always sees the best way out of a situation. She's witty and observant, being able to keep her cool in battle and lead others in the best direction. She's always looking to grow, and she prefers to do things on her own, but she's a great leader. She has some Slytherin qualities, and she's not learning as learning oriented as others, but she's definitely Ravenclaw.

Sam: Let's face it, Sam has the only active neurons in all of MCGA, she's definitely Ravenclaw. I'm gonna be honest though, I've only read MCGA once, so I can't remember much of their personalities, but Sam is witty and clever, pretty much the only one who can come up with competent plans, while the others rely mostly on luck and whatever plan they can cook up in 5 seconds. She's loyal and true to who she is, and she's extremely courageous and proud of who she is, but her sharpness is what she stands out for me, which is why I put her in Ravenclaw.

Annabeth: I know the obvious option is Ravenclaw, but I genuinely think she's also Slytherin. Yes she is booksmart and wise like Ravenclaw, but her personality matches Slytherins' ambitious, cunning and resourceful nature. She's smart as fuck, but she's calculative, she always finds a way to end up winning, and while she does so by outsmarting her opponents, she wouldn't need to outsmart them if she weren't so competitive. I feel like there's this 40/60 odds on Slytherin rather than Ravenclaw, but it's that small difference that counts. Plus her leadership skills are so powerful that people don't ask, they just know she's the boss.

(Also just picture the sweet and loyal Hufflepuff boy with the strong and cunning Slytherin girl, like it should be as opposite as it is with Poseidon and Athena, but they're so cute)

Leo: Idk what you can expect that's not Slytherin. This boy is the embodiment of ambition and determination. Reminder that not all Slytherins are bad btw (I'm slytherin myself), but like he's life smart and cunning, and he can analyze situations faster than anyone else. He's charismatic and talented, and there's no one to stop him from triumphing. I don't have much to say, I just know he'd be in Slytherin.

Rachel: She's kinda a difficult one, and I struggle between Gryffindor and Slytherin, and tbh I'm still not sure. But I think I'd place her in Slytherin, because even if she's brave af (especially since she was a mortal fighting in a war out of her power), her main trait is her determination. When she's set on something, she gets it done. You can't tell her she can't do something, because she will find a way to do it. She's kind, and she's only a mortal, but she still has incredible power unlike any other. I don't think I can really name it, but I think she'd be put on Slytherin with much difficulty from the Sorting Hat.

Luke: Where else could Luke possibly go? On the meaner side Slytherins have created themselves, Luke would be part of those misled by who preceded them, by those who want to take advantage of their mistreatment (bc let's face it, Slytherins are mistreated by both students and Hogwarts staff), and turn them cold and bitter. Luke is ambitious and manipulative, being manipulated himself, and it comes easily because of his natural charisma and talent. He's very freaking determined and cunning too. He'd fit right into Slytherin, but he'd be viewed as one of the rotten lot.

Thalia: I don't have much to say about this, but Thalia is the girl whose fatal flaw is their desire for power (or smth along those lines), just like most Slytherins. She's ambitious, she's smart, she's truly talented, she stands out between the rest, and she knows it, and she actually kinda likes it.

(Also I put Annabeth, Thalia and Luke in the same house because they're all kinda similar, even if their beliefs and postures are different.

Frank: Ngl I'm having more difficulty with Frank than anyone else. I'm kinda torn between Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. I literally can't choose. He'd fit perfectly in any of them lmao, I just can't decide where he'd go. You decide this one yourself.

Please keep in mind, this is my personal opinion and my take on the characters, and not all of you will agree, and that's fine! You can let me know what you think (kindly please, don't come at me), and if you want to, send me an ask on a character you want me to do the same as these (as long as it's not TKC, I'M SORRY I haven't read those) go ahead, don't be shy!

[skiimmiilk]

A/N: Another long ass ride timestamp. I’ve been a little too inspired by the NCT 127 seasons greetings and the new YouTube video they posted X_X. Will this be my first full series? Who knows :”D

[7:41PM]

“Absolutely not.” Doyoung doesn’t even look up at you from his computer which he is noisily typing away at. 

“Why the hell not Doyoung?” You raise your arms incredulously, “I’m not going to sit around and watch you put your life in danger all the time. Especially in the name of our trash excuse of a father.”

“But you? Joining the Underground Services?” He raised an eyebrow at you, “I’m not letting you get involved in the black market.” 

“Please, you already know I’m better than half of the other useless employees in the circuit.” You roll your eyes, “I can’t just sit here and get a regular job knowing all of this.” 

He lets out a frustrated sigh, closing his eyes in hopes that you would stop talking, “I shouldn’t have let dad tell you about it..” He mumbles under his breath. Doyoung closes the laptop before shoving it into its holder, “This is the last time we are discussing this.” 

You raise your eyebrows incredulously, letting out a scoff of disbelief. You follow him out of the office and down the hallway, “You’re kidding.” 

“Don’t you get it y/n? You get a chance of a normal and safe life.” He looks at you, almost enviously, “Mom wouldn’t have wanted either of us in this business but our ‘trash excuse of a father’ left us with his position that needed to be filled.” 

“Then why not both of us shoulder that burden? You don’t like it either.” You protest, hopping into the elevator.

“...I’m fine with it.” Doyoung says in a clipped voice. 

“More like you tolerate it.” You mumble.

He sighs, “Fine, I tolerate it, but I don’t think you can. You already know what the black market is known for. Do you really want to put yourself at risk?” 

“If it means that you don’t shoulder all the unresolved business our dad left us with, then yes.” The elevator doors opened once again and you two step out. 

“Look, I appreciate it y/n. But as your brother, I literally can’t let you.” 

“Smells like bullshit.” You roll your eyes.

“Then don’t stick your nose in places you don’t have business being in.” He chuckles, flicking your forehead, “Take out tonight? Or do you want me to cook?”

“Our fridge was empty last time I checked it so let’s do take out today.” 

“Alright, I’ll order it. Can you pick it up and get some groceries on your way home?” He asks, flipping open his phone to answer some texts. 

“Yea I guess so.” You sigh, “You’re not gonna come with?” 

“I’m being called into HQ. We have a big transaction coming up so..you know.” 

You roll your eyes, shaking your head in disappointment. Your brother greeted the clueless workers on the floor that you walked out on. The office that your brother worked at was a set-up by the mafia group he worked with. NCT was just a highly successful electronics company in the face of the general public, but behind closed doors, they were one of the big names in the Underground Market, otherwise referred to as the UM. Your father was one of the founders of this company and a member of the Underground Services, Unit 127, so upon his death, it was natural for Doyoung, and eventually once you convinced Doyoung, you would shoulder his position. Doyoung walked you to the exit before waving goodbye to you.

“Do you have your mace y/n?” He asked and in response you dangled the neon green cylindrical device in front of him. 

“All good Doie~” You teased, to which he shoved you playfully in response.

“I’m still at work y/n..” He groaned, feeling the stares of the other floor members on his back. 

“Yea, yea.” You smirk, shooing off his cries of displease, “I’ll see you at home!” You turned around, shoving your hands into your pockets with a little jump in your step. 

“Text me when you get home!” 

“Yes MOM!” You yell back, rolling your eyes at his antics, “I swear, it’s like I’m still 2 years old in his eyes.”

You squish your arms closer to your body, feeling the bite of the winter night against your skin despite wearing a jacket. It was decently lit with a couple people walking about along the streets, probably returning home from work or getting take out like you were. As you walked down the lit path, your hairs on the back of your neck stood for a second and you turned around only to find the street empty as you left it. 

Weird..I thought I heard someone. 

You gripped the mace in your pocket a little tighter as you sped up your pace. You reached the outside of a plaza you and your brother usually ordered from when you widen your eyes in realization.

“The idiot never told me what or where he was ordering from.” You groan and shake your head as you whip out your phone to call Doyoung.

~Back at the Office~

“Alright boys, so we have a couple candidates for possible new members to join the unit.” Taeyong, leaned across the long conference table at his members intently, “Doyoung, pull up the files on the screen.” 

“Taeyong, I don’t really get the benefit of adding someone else to the team.” Yuta leans back in his chair, clearly not pleased with the idea of a new member, “I thought we were handling things just fine here.” 

“Just listen to me. We need to have fresh faces every so often in our unit to keep our enemies guessing. I have two people I’m keeping an eye on right now.” Taeyong pushed himself off the table, “Show the first candidate Doyoung.” 

Doyoung stood in the corner at the podium with a laptop shining in front of him. With a couple clicks, the first profile blows up on the big screen. 

“Lee Haechan. 20 years old. Agile, quick on his feet and thinks even faster. Originally associated with local low tier gangs and was known to be the best of the best when it comes to strategic fighting.” Doyoung clicks through the presentation, showing Haechan’s profile and some videos of him fighting. 

“What’s stopping him from going back to those gangs?” Jaehyun asks, his chin resting on his hand in thought, “How do we know where his loyalties lie?”

“All his previous gangs are dead. No associations or ties as far as my team knows.” Doyoung answers, “He doesn’t have any other ties currently, which would rule out the idea of him betraying us for an alternative group that he’s apart of.”  

“It’s like he has a curse of death following him..” Mark whispers over to Jungwoo, still not entirely convinced either. The group murmurs amongst themselves as they let the idea of Lee Haechan in their unit. 

I thought there was only one candidate.. Doyoung thinks to himself as he stares at Haechan’s profile and then back at Taeyong. What are you planning..?

“Now,” Taeyong clasps his hands together as he walks across the floor, “I know your waiting anxiously in your seats to see who the second candidate is..” His eyes flicker to Doyoung briefly before, setting down a manila folder from his bag on the table, “Kim y/n.” 

“What?” Doyoung raises his voice, almost dropping his laptop, “Taeyong..I never approved of this.” 

“You didn’t need to. She came to me herself with the proposition.” Taeyong shrugged, flipping through your files, “She’s pretty skilled herself. Her only flaw is lack of experience in this field but she’s a quick learner and smart.” 

“I’d like to keep it that way.” Doyoung walks up to Taeyong, almost getting too in his face, “Take her off the list.” He growls. 

“I agree with Doyoung here.” Taeil speaks up, sitting back in his seat after looking at the file, “She doesn’t know what she’s getting into. I’m pretty sure she only knows surface level information about what we do and the risks we take. Can she handle the potential consequences that we face whenever we step on the field?”

“Thank you!” Doyoung gestures to Taeil in exasperation, “She’s not meant for this.”

“I like her ambition and her anger.” Taeyong knocks the table before leaning back from the table, looking Doyoung in the eyes, “Gentlemen, look at the screen.” 

Everyone’s attention is diverted to the screen as it switches to grainy CCTV camera footage of a dark street near a small plaza. To Doyoung’s horror, you walk onto the screen, stopping at the corner before the plaza. 

“Taeyong, you are overstepping the line.” Doyoung hisses, grabbing the man by the collar, “What are you doing?!” 

Taeyong’s eyes lazily make its way to meet Doyoung’s furious ones, “Relax, I’m simply testing something. Just watch the film.” 

~Back on the streets~ 

You speed dial Doyoung’s number on your phone and you place the machine to your ear, waiting for him to pick up. You look at the call screen, curious as to why he hadn’t picked up already. Usually his hyperactive ass would pick up in half a ring, but maybe he was in a meeting? Your thoughts were interrupted when you felt a dark presence behind you and your first instinct was to elbow whoever or whatever was behind you. To your surprise, you felt someone’s ribs and the sound of someone’s breath escaping their lungs registered and you immediately ducked and swung your feet at his heels. Your perpetrator, however, dodged and jumped over your legs, landing a foot away from you.

“Do you..” The stranger groans in pain, “always leave people breathless when you first meet them?” His face finally shone in the light when he lifted his face into the streetlight. 

You whipped out your defensive items and clicked a button that turned a small metal tube into a long staff, “You need to fuck off right now before I turn you into shades of blue and purple.” 

“Ooo~ They gave me such a feisty target. I like it.” He grins, cracking his knuckles, “I like a challenge, so let’s last more than 5 minutes please.” 

“Who..” You charged at him, swinging your staff at his direction, “are you?! And who the hell do you work for?” He neatly dodged your first swing, narrowly shifting out of range of your second one. 

He tsks, jumping in place a little before diving for your mid and knocking you down to the icy concrete, “Classified information, sweetheart. I just gotta bring you in.” 

You curl your feet beneath his abdomen and shove him over your head as you tumble over into a crouching position. You blow a stray strand of hair out of your face, pursing your lips in annoyance. He stops his fall and lands almost gracefully on the street. You go after him again, swinging all your strength at him and like a dance, he mirrored your moves easily dodging your moves. You purse your lips, wanting to get him off your ass quickly. A nice blow to the head should do it, but he was predicting you too well. 

“Alright, it was fun playing with you but I have a deadline to uphold.” His eyes change and it’s his turn to attack. He flicks out a switch blade, the light reflects into your eyes off the shiny silver coating as you barely dodge his swipe. You wince, feeling the cold air meet the fresh cut on your temple. Your senses heightened and a wash of fear came over you as you dodged and weaved his blows. The fear of getting stabbed and getting hurt scared you because you didn’t want to leave your brother alone. If you were going to get out of here, you’d have to think of something and quickly. As you dodged his blows a blinking red light caught your attention from the corner of your eye and you glanced up at it. 

The cameras are never on usually. The fleeting thought came to you and you almost shook it off when realization knocked into your thoughts.

“Come on, sweetie. I don’t have all day, let’s just get on with it~” The stranger giggled as he slashed forward to you. You bumped into a trashcan, knocking it over as you dodged his blow. He quickly turned around and dashed towards you, a determined look on his face. You made no move to dodge until the very last second. His breath hitched in his throat as he crashed into the knocked over trash can, tumbling on the ground. You slammed your pole onto his wrist, making him yelp in pain and let go of his knife which you kicked away in one full swing. The stranger growled, angry now that you pulled such a trick on him, but as soon as he looked up to face you again, he was met with an obnoxious green tube and a horrible burning sensation to his eyes. He screamed in pain as he doubled over, rubbing his eyes. 

You relax a little letting out a shaky breath of relief and shoving the mace back into your pocket, “Rubbing makes it worse, idiot.” You hop on top of him, securing his hands with your belt and using your weight to keep him down on the ground. 

“Taeyong! If this is some kind of sick joke, I don’t really get the punchline.” You yelled out in the seemingly empty streets. You heard a vibration coming from your captive’s pocket as he squirmed around underneath you, still groaning from the burning pepper spray that he received to the face. You pulled out the sleek black device and answered the number.

“y/n~ You make for good entertainment.” You could hear Taeyong’s amusement through the line, “We ordered some food already and had it delivered, so you and Haechan can come back to the office. We need to discuss some matters.” 

“What-” 

“What does it look like?” He glared up at you, eyes bloodshot and wild.

“See you in five.” He hangs up and you scoff shaking your head at the dark screen. You get off of who you could only assume to be Haechan.

“Are your eyes okay yet?” You ask blankly.

“You heard Taeyong, gotta go back to the office now. You dragged him up and started walking, “The red brings out your eyes. It’s a nice look, sweetheart.” You mock his tone of voice with the previous nickname he gave you. 

“The hell.. Take your damned belt off of me.” He ran to catch up to you, trying to rip the fabric. 

“No-pe” You pop the P at the end of your response, “Not gonna happen. I don’t really trust you to not jump me.” 

A dark car pulls up next to the two of you and flashes its headlights at you. You stop watching the passenger door window roll down to reveal Johnny in the drivers seat and a very pissed Doyoung in the passenger seat. 

“Both of your asses. In the back. Now.” 

“Sheesh alright.” You open the back door and climb in, Haechan following suit.

Johnny glances back at the two of you, both ruffled and battered with an amused smile, “Looking good back there two.”

You both roll your eyes and Doyoung interrupts, “I don’t want to hear it.” 

You turn to Haechan and nudge him, “My name’s y/n by the way. I don’t think I got the chance to introduce myself.”

Haechan raises an eyebrow, dryly laughing at your horribly timed self-introduction, “Haechan. I would say it’s nice to meet you, but I can barely see you right now.” 

“Good.” 

[98prilla]

Falling Apart: Part 3

Final part of Dark Side Logan, chapter 5

Previous

A03

...

He's with everyone, when he feels the familiar tug. A bit surprising, given that no one else seems to feel it, and it makes his fragile heart beat just a bit faster.

 He feels so cracked, still.

 Everyone is being nice, everyone is making sure to spend time with him, spend time together, as groups or one on one, dark side, light side, it’s mattering less and less by the day. Instead of there being an endless chasm between the two worlds, it’s more like a two story apartment.

 When Remus appears, he's met with a small smile from Patton, a quiet hey from Virgil, and wraps him in a hug before he has a chance to say a word. He comes around more often now. Roman feels badly, for how much he scared everyone, but especially Remus. He's been spending more time with his twin, who understands him better than anyone, and these days they spend more time together than apart.

 Janus always pretends to be annoyed, visiting the light side, even though he’s the one that chose to stop by. He’s spending more time with Virgil, the two of them mending whatever fence had been broken. Often, he finds them in the living room, Virgil curled against Janus, eyes closed, if not fully asleep, Janus smiling softly as he pets Virgil's hair. It’s sweet, he thinks. Makes him think of Patton.

 Patton has been making an effort, too. Not just inviting the others up for dinners or movie nights, but going downstairs, playing board games, debating, in a constructive way, with Dee, or listening to Ambition. Working with all of them to find a healthier balance of work and self care, both for Thomas and all of them.

 It’s… good.

 For the first time in a long time, things feel good. Everyone is being heard.

 Which is why this call makes him afraid, because he hasn’t spoken to Thomas since he’d fallen apart in front of him, and he’s doing better now, too, but the wounds are still there, still a barely a closed scab over his heart, and he feels… raw.

 “Roman?” He looks up at the question in Virgil's voice, he no doubt can feel the anxiety prickling under his skin.

 “Thomas. He's calling me.” He answers. Virgil nods, slipping his headphones off his ears, around his shoulders.

 Patton and Janus are in the kitchen, having a baking competition (who knew Dee had a guilty pleasure for cooking shows, his favorite, of course, being Cutthroat Kitchen?), Virgil is sitting on the steps, listening to his music and meditating. Ambition is on the couch, reading a book, softly discussing it with Remus, and he himself is sitting on the floor in front of the table, coloring idly while listening to Ambition, occasionally asking a question or adding his input. He can feel Ambition's surprise and spark of happiness each time he does, proving he's been listening to every word, and he wishes he'd started listening sooner.

 But there's no point in regrets, just in doing better, which is what he's been trying to convince himself of.

 “I suggest you go answer him, then.” Ambition replies evenly, though he can hear the soft concern in his voice.

 “I should.” He says, making no move to leave, and he feels Remus squeeze his shoulder.

 “It’s ok, Ro. I promise. It’ll be good.” He sighs at that soft assurance, pushing himself to his feet. He doesn’t know if Remus is right or not, but he knows not going now will only make his own anxiety worse. Like a band aid. Just gotta rip it off and pray the sting fades. “And if it isn’t, I’ll haunt his nightmares!” Remus adds cheerily.

 “You'll do that regardless, you insufferable gremlin.” He says fondly, ruffling Remus's hair, grinning, sinking out before Remus can retaliate, hearing Ambition laugh at the squawking duke. 

He sinks up into the living room. No dramatic flourish or loud sing song declaration, his voice seems stuck in his throat, and he feels oh so small again.

 “Hey, bud.” He looks up, a bit surprised to see Thomas sitting on the couch, wearing comfy clothes and chilling out, a soft smile on his lips.

 “Hello.” He replies, a bit strained, a bit awkward.

 “Wanna come hang out?” He furrows his brow, plucking at his sweater. He's wearing the Christmas one, he hasn’t put his prince outfit back on yet. He doesn’t feel like he's earned it. Like he is a prince.

 “Why?” he asks, watching Thomas closely as he frowns slightly, clearly thinking over his words carefully.

 “Because I've been hurting you without noticing, and that needs to stop. I care about you, Roman, and I… haven’t been very good at showing it, lately. I’m sorry.” He shakes his head, walking quickly to the couch, kneeling before Thomas, taking one of his hands. A knight swearing fealty to his noble.

 “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. I should be better than this, that’s the problem, is I’m not, I’ve never been… good enough. You’re so… amazing, Thomas, you can accomplish so, so much, but I’m just not good enough to get you there. Maybe if it were still King, maybe if there were only one of us, but alone, I can’t, and I’m the one who’s so, so sorry.”

 Thomas is looking down at him, brown eyes surprised, as he fumbles for words. He settles on leaning forwards, wrapping his arms around Roman's neck in an all encompassing hug. His breath hitches, and suddenly he’s crying, burying his face against Thomas.

 “oh, buddy. I’ve really broken you, huh?” Thomas murmurs, slipping off the couch and onto the floor with him, rubbing up and down his back, hugging him closer.

 “I’m so-rry. I t-try so hard but it's not enough and I d-don't kn-know what else I can do.” He stutters out, pressing tighter against Thomas's shoulder, feeling guilty for accepting this comfort, this contact, he’s supposed to be the strong one, supposed to be the defender, not the one falling apart.

 “I know, God Roman, I know, I can feel it, everyday I can feel how hard you try and it’s not your fault, you are always good enough, you are always enough. I know how much you give up, I know how utterly selfless you are, I know how hard you try to cover up all your fears and flaws and that’s fine, but it’s fine to be hurting, too, it’s fine to be sad, it’s fine to be selfish. It’s ok to fight for yourself, Roman, not just for me.” He lets the touch soothe him, lets his tears slowly stop, though he doesn't move from where he's practically curled against Thomas.

 “It isn’t. Not when I fail. At everything I do, I fail. Every romance, every audition, every dream and hope and goal, I have failed. I failed to look out for Remus, I failed to accept Deceit, I failed to reach out to Logan, I failed to be kind to Virgil, I failed them, I failed you, I’m a failure.” Thomas pulls back, hands on his shoulders, fiery warmth in his eyes that he knows used to be reflected in his own. But his fire has burned low, barely an ember, and that aching tiredness is back in his bones. “you deserve so much better.”

 “No. Roman, you’re my hero.” He jolts at those words, denials ready to fall from his lips, but Thomas shakes his head, forcing Roman to look up, look at him. “you are. You are not a failure. You are the reason I go to every audition, the reason I make my own videos, the reason I have the amazing career and life that I have. You are the reason I have all my friends, because you push me to talk, to meet new people, to be spontaneous. You’re the reason I dream big, the reason I sing for no reason, the reason I doodle, the reason I love art of all kinds. All my passion and dreams and love! How could you ever have failed me, when you’ve given me all of that? When you continue to give everything you are, even when it’s tearing you to pieces. Even when you’re so hurt, you still try and smile and lighten my mood, and act brave and strong even when you feel anything but. You make me better, Roman. You make me happy. Even at your worst, I love you. I will always love you and need you and want you. You’re my hero, Roman. You are.”

 He can’t breathe. It feels like his lungs are on fire, and he finally sucks in a breath, something tight in his chest unknotting itself at Thomas’s declaration, the cold, hard pit of despair and self loathing starts to lighten, and he's gasping in air like a man nearly drowned because for the first in time in nearly a week he can breathe again.

 He lets his head thump forwards, forehead resting against Thomas's chest as he exhales a huge, shuddering breath, letting Thomas rub up and down his arms to ground him. He’s not crying, exactly, it’s somewhere between euphoria and crushing doubt, gasping and shaking as he tries to steady himself.

 “Roman? You ok?” He’s not, not yet, not really, but he’s better, he’s so, so much better, but he can’t find the words to express what it feels like to have this incredible weight lifted from his shoulders, these shackles he hadn’t even realized he’d chained himself to, to be released, and it’s impossible to remember the last time he felt this light, this almost dazzlingly happy.

 “Yes. Just… tired. The normal kind, not… not the existential dread kind.” He replies, smiling at Thomas’s small laugh, more weight freeing itself from the pit of his stomach at that sound, a small reflection of how he himself feels. “thank you.” He whispers.

 “Always, Ro. I’m here for you, alright? If you’re not feeling heard, if we’re being too harsh instead of constructive, if you just need to talk, I’m here.” He pulls back finally, wiping at his eyes, unable to help the grin on his face, feeling a thousand beams of light shining inside his chest at how Thomas grins right back, warm, soft, care and hope in his eyes. “Another thing. I know you work hard, for me, too hard, for your own good, sometimes. I know creating things is literally your role, but it doesn’t always have to be your job, y’know? It… it should be fun. It should be something we love doing, even when we are doing it for the show, or a video, or whatever. So, we’re going to start writing together, okay? Anything we want, anything we think of, no matter how silly or nonsensical or stupid it is, even if it doesn’t have a plot, even if it’s just word vomit on the page. Just… doing it together, to do something together. For fun. Yeah?” He almost breaks, he can feel tears threatening again, because god, when was the last time he felt this happy, this stupid with joy, because Thomas is right, he misses questing for fun, not frustration, he misses writing short stories or poems, not panicking over late scripts or forcing ideas. He misses writing or drawing whatever comes to mind, instead of narrowing his scope so specifically he can’t find a single idea in his sea of millions. And to do that, with Thomas, together? They’re going to make worlds upon worlds of curious, wonderful, quirky creatures. He’s already more excited for this than he has been for anything else in years, already ideas are springing to mind, and he loves it.

 “yes. Please, yes.” He near whispers, afraid this is a dream, afraid this is a wonderful, beautiful dream, that will shatter any second along with his heart. “I would really, really love that.” Thomas beams at him again, slipping back up onto the couch, patting the cushion next to him.

 “Cool. Good, I didn’t want to pressure you, but I’m kinda super excited about it.” He laughs, sitting next to Thomas, realizing Kingdom Hearts is pulled up on the screen, the very first one, and he sees Thomas looking at him out of the corner of his eye, with that silly, stupid grin.

 “What is it Thomas the dank engine?” He asks, borrowing one of Patton’s nick names. Thomas shakes his head, grin growing somehow wider, grabbing the controller.

 “It’s just good to see you looking like… you again, Princey.” He looks down, realizing he’s unconsciously shifted himself back into his prince attire, katana and all, and he dramatically sighs, leaning back into the cushions.

 “Yes, well, a prince’s work is never done. For now, we must vanquish the vile villainous, the darkest shadow, the mistress of all evil herself! FOR DISNEY!” He cries, brandishing his weapon, Thomas snorting, laughing.

 “Dude, she’s like one of the last bosses we fight. We’ll get to Hades waaaay before her.”

 “Well, it’s the intention that counts. ONWARDS!” He cries, Thomas shaking his head fondly as he presses start, both of them on the edge of their seats even though they already know by heart what is about to happen, bantering back and forth over the dialogue, doing their best impressions of the characters to read their dialogue.

 It’s fun and silly and stupid, and every moment of it is a balm to his sore and broken heart, until by the time he returns to his room, far, far later than he should, well past midnight, he is smiling and his stomach aches from laughing, and he suspects that’s the reason none of the others fetched him sooner, told him or Thomas to go to bed, because his laughter had echoed through the mindscape for the first time in months.

 He feels solid, again.

 He feels right, again.

 And the next morning, when Patton wakes slowly to the smell of waffles and bacon, and he stumbles into the hall, running into Virgil, who holds a finger to his lips, tilting his head towards the kitchen, he stays silent, first out of confusion, then out of awe and relief strong enough to bring tears to his eyes, as he finally realizes what he’s hearing.

 Singing. For the first time in nearly four months, Roman is shamelessly, joylessly, singing.

[tinyravenclaw]

Ateez as their Hogwarts Houses.

Hongjoong ;

→the perfect gryffindor

→big determination & nerve ; no matter what happens he ISN'T giving up. Even the worst situations,will he turn them into the best ones.

→bravery. he will do anything for his team,no matter the cost as long as it doesn't affect his loved ones.

→hes got the gryff nerves ; literally do not degrade his work or his members’,he will bite back.

→passionate friend & open-minded lover.

Seonghwa;

→slytherin

→ resourcefulness ; he always has a way out of uncomfortable or difficult situations. Whether it comes in a form of words or touches, seonghwa will most definitely find a way to deal with difficult things. And of course do his best to give useful advice.

→fraternity ; meaning it's all about his people. friends, family, lover,relatives, even pets. whatever seonghwa loves, seonghwa treasures. and protects it/them. It is...a trait of virtue to him.

→lineage ; it is important to him. Where he is from, who's given him life,his origins...He js a man of honour & great memory.

→a loyal friend, teammate and protector.

Yunho;

→ravenclaw

→intelligence ; jung yunho is indeed intelligent and sharp. if he wants to win over something/someone he'll do it by using the best,only, and measured like effective ways. he seems messy but he's always on point, thinking over things he's deeply interested in. [ps check ateez’s MAFIA game if u haven't already]

→ creativity ; whether it's about an artistic mission or a more practical one yunho WILL be creative. Choreography,fun type of teaching a class, partying, killing free time? Yunho is there, you'll never get bored. This appeals also to his next ravenclaw trait.

→Individuality ; Yunho as an individual isn't a common individual. There's no way you'll look his way and think ‘basic’ or ‘seen this before’. His individuality is what makes yunho different from others ; he has a clever way of having everyone's attention by merely doing anything. His crackhead character fills that individual space along with his wit. He's a humourist,a clever one. He could use it to you but also against you.

→Acceptance ; he's someone open minded and perhaps well informed through other people or other sources. Judgemental when you annoy him but won't waste his day on that thought.

→ one of a kind & original.

Yeosang;

→gryffindor

→nerve ; yeosang WILL point out flaws or have savage comebacks IF ASKED or if they're necessarily NEEDED. Sometimes as a joke,others as not.

→chivalry ; kang yeosang IS a gentleman in perhaps the most unique ways. if you hurt his loved ones, it is most likely that –nerve and chivalry combined– he won't hesitate messing with you, depending on the circumstances. Yeosang is a patient person,not as courageous as other gryffs especially when it comes to expressing his problems/inner thoughts,but he will express through assistance how much he loves his friends.

→determination ; if someone gives him the right reason,the right click,it is a ride-or-die for him. And that links to love, friendship, success and anything interesting to yeosang. Once he starts,he wont end until the right purpose has been fulfilled.

→ Despite being a typical gryffindor yeosang differs to some ; he isn't reckless nor focuses in useless heroics. Yeosang will show up when actually needed, otherwise annoyed. He'll come to comfort people over breakups,losses etc. Please don't call him to cry about your lost bra or pc.

→ honest,firm and a good friend.

San;

→slytherin

→ resourcefulness ; san has many ways to use and get everyone, himself included, out of bad situations or simply uses that resourcefulness to his benefit but it's mostly not the latter. His skinship is , mainly , his weapon of comfort as well as his soft spoken words.

→lineage ; for san everything family related is important to him. his lineage is important ; he won't rant about it but also will not forget everything he's taught and also been through. He's a regretful person of the past but a hoping one of the future. He's a man of promises and oaths,not always positive, yet he does his best to honour his lineage.

→ a man of desire ; as a Slytherin san is passionate and needy ; love,food, objects,skinship. ANYTHING he likes he NEEDS it. No matter how weird it may seem to others. He's also a vulnerable Slytherin ; whether raised to be the opposite,Choi San maintains a certain self-preservation.

self preserved→ Not from danger specifically but from prejudice and anything forced, which is why he's his own person. A Slytherin you expect for sure who also hides a side you did NOT expect.

→ choi san is like a mirror who hides something at the back of it.

Mingi;

→gryffindor

→nerve ; mingi is your annoying,silly gryffindor that fuck yeah will take RECKLESS decisions and yes he has the nerve to do even worse. He isn't going to hold back if challenged or UTTERLY pissed.

→daring ; like the first trait everything about mingi comes surely both ways, positive and negative. Mingi doesn't do MIDDLE,only EDGES. He isn't balanced,he is either this or that - nothing in between. And he IS pretty daring ; whether it is him daring or being dared he'll accept it no matter the outcome.

→determination ; literally the opposite of kang yeosang. mingi is wild and will do anything to stand out. He also begs to differ especially when it's about his element. Don't know what element that might be but if it's mingi’s element,GET READY. he will do something about it.

→ open book ; his emotions are written in his body language, expression or words. kind of like harry himself. he will express discomfort, sadness,happiness in the most intense way — breaking down in tears, hugging and smiling like a goof, speaking loud and comforting words. And also, like a switch, he could go to being silent. That ain't gonna last of course.

→crackhead friend & definitely there for you.

Wooyoung;

→slytherin

→lineage ; lineage is important to wooyoung. he won't forget his roots and most likely will boost about his family members, sibling dad or mom,to friends or possible future children. he could also use his ancestor’s old achievements as a way for someone to get their buns up and do something useful.

→achievement oriented & determined ; when wooyoung has a purpose he'll fulfill it by all means. as long as he has been provided with courage by a loved face. he has already preserved a strength within himself, another Slytherin trait, which he uses to his advantage.

→Self preserved ; wooyoung is aware of his limits and non,as he tells himself. even if he might go overboard to other eyes,for wooyoung it's only half of what he wanted to do. Nevertheless he will protect himself from danger,he will fight if necessary to protect his loved ones. And most likely WILL get annoyed while doing so. If targeted, he's gonna shake it off with the snarkiest way possible.

→unlike most slytherins wooyoung does not possess that slyth confidence or “take charge” trait but wooyoung wins them over in devotion and love. wooyoung is loyal to the core but in the most slytherin way of all. Unrequited love or no,he isn't going to stop protecting that person or simply feeling. Friendship/Family love? Even better. He ISN'T giving up. Not exactly the ambitious type but DOES hold ambition within love.

→ a true snake friend,a rebel

Jongho;

→gryffindor

→chivalry ; if we're talking about choi jongho it is CHIVALRY that comes first to mind. He's a knight in shining armor in both the classic, fairytale way AND also with the more... metaphorical approach. He is a man of good manners,he knows how go treat people and he will definitely aid anyone in need. He'd do it no matter what.

→brave ; jongho is quiet and reserved but will not back down in challenges. he is brave not for others but mostly for his own person,his individual self. he wants to prove things to himself first before others.

→the latter can also mingle with courage ; jongho has courage. although difficulties and flaws will be on his way he WILL fight them,he will overcome them or at least try to succeed in doing that.

→secretly self righteous; it is purely about his achievements and skills. jongho KNOWS what he can do PERFECT,what he can do GOOD and what he can do NOT great.

→jongho is like Neville ; low-tones person that anticipates his shine more than anyone. he knows himself and whether his surroundings, people or circumstances, do not fit into his ideal it will be OKAY. He has his friends and family,he has himself. He's strong.

[aliceslantern]

Beyond this Existence, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, chapter 6

Summary:  After Xehanort's death, Demyx finds himself unexpectedly human in Radiant Garden. With nothing but fragments of his past and a cryptic statement from Xemnas, he's left to figure out who he is. When Ienzo asks for his help with a project, the two find common ground, but the trauma and secrets in both of their pasts could tear it apart. Zemyx (Demyx/Ienzo), post-KH3 canon compliant

Read it on FF.net/ on AO3

Thick, panicked breaths jolted Demyx awake. Anxiety rolled over him in little waves and he buried his head in his knees, trying desperately to get himself under control. Before he could even make himself think dreams are meaningless he knew he was lying to himself. It seemed like every time they worked together he noticed something about Ienzo, about the way he moved or spoke, the way he let himself become so absorbed and lost in his studies. Why was he feeling this way, especially for him? It didn’t make any sense. Was he really so desperate that he’d cling onto the first person who was kind to him and spoke to him semi-normally? Why was it that every time they touched, no matter how platonically or innocently, he could feel it long afterwards, and wanted it again?

Damn it, he thought. He needed to make this stop, somehow. They weren’t even friends! They were barely coworkers!

Demyx could not get over his own stupidity.

He had to get out of here. Clear his head. Maybe he was wrong. He had to be wrong.

He skipped breakfast to avoid getting caught in the kitchen and escaped into town. The day was cold, and he found himself wishing he’d actually put on his one sweater. Town was quiet; the day was just getting started. Merchants in the marketplace were fixing up their booths and paid him little attention. He wasn’t sure where he needed to go, just that he needed to go away . This would be a perfect time to speak with friends as a distraction. Too bad he had none of those.

Aerith was again sitting at her stall, unwrapping burlap sacks from the blooms of new summer plants. She saw him and waved him over. “It’s you!” she said. “How are you finding town so far?”

“It’s… fine,” he said. “Still getting used to things. You know?”

“Especially if you’re not used to staying in one place,” she said pleasantly. “You need people to ground you. Radiant Garden is very accommodating, and this is a good place to socialize.”

“...Yeah, I guess. I just wouldn’t know where to start,” he said, with a laugh.

“Ask people about themselves,” she said. “Always seems to work for me. How’s the plant?”

“It’s fine. Still alive. I didn’t realize it was a moonlight plant.”

She touched her forehead, leaving a smear of dirt.  “I knew I was forgetting to tell you something. To me, it all seems natural. At least you figured it out. I’m sorry, Demyx.”

His chest constricted. “What?”

She looked confused. “That is your name, right?”

“How did you know?”

“Ienzo mentioned you,” she said, with a shrug. That name. He was trying to get away from him, and yet here it was. “I wondered why you hesitated to give your name, the first time we met.”

“I feel terrible,” he said.

“Why?”

“Because of the Organization! We… we did bad stuff to you guys!”

She smiled and shook her head. “You helped bring back Roxas.”

“That doesn’t cancel everything else out.” The revelations of it were shaking him more than anything.

“What matters is that you’re trying to be a better person,” Aerith said gently. “It takes time, and conscious effort. But if you ever need something to salve your conscience, the committee is always looking for people to help.”

“With what?”

“Anything. It’s hard to run a town.”

Demyx didn’t even know what he could possibly offer. “Sure. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Any time. You take care now, Demyx.”

“...You too.”

He headed off towards the Bailey, turning her words over and over again in his mind. She was right; being human was work, and being a good one was even harder. If he wanted to change, he’d have to do a whole lot more, overcome a whole lot more, and he had no idea where to begin.

Did he want to change?

The first feeling was revulsion. It would take so much work and introspection that he just didn’t have the energy for. But on the other hand, how was he supposed to move on if he didn’t change? Or make connections? This loneliness and boredom was almost more than he could take.

He found himself wanting to talk to Ienzo. He’d have something insightful to say all this. But that just made things still more complicated. Demyx didn’t know how to stop this growing attraction, even though it was probably the right thing to do. There was no way he’d ever be good enough or composed enough for someone else.

He turned around and went home.

“How do I be a better person?”

He’d startled Ienzo; he nearly fell out of his chair. “I was not expecting you today,” Ienzo said.

“I… I thought I needed a break. But I…” There he was again, watching Demyx so intently. The warm feeling crept down his spine. You stop that. “I wanted to talk to you.”

Ienzo smiled. “Well, do you need my permission?”

“It’s just that you seem to know so much more about being better. And I… want to.”

“I’m glad to hear that, but it’s not so simple. I’m still trying to come to terms with it myself.”

He sat down on the piano bench.

Ienzo pulled his hands through his hair, an anxious gesture. Demyx caught sight of his right eye for just a moment. “It’s about… knowing your own wrongdoings, your insecurities, your flaws, it’s about understanding where they came from and why, it’s about all the choices you make, broad and narrow, every single day. Morality is not simple, it’s not just darkness and light.” As he spoke, his voice gradually increased in volume and tempo. Ienzo turned pink.

“I know that. I’m not as dumb as I seem.”

“Have I ever said you were?”

Demyx was stunned into silence.

“You’re not dumb. You are sharp, you think clearly, you see things I cannot see. I think you have a problem with your self worth, and I think more than anything that’s what’s been holding you back. This existence has given you ambition like I’ve never seen before from you. Don’t squander it. Please.” In the depths of his speech he had taken Demyx’s hand and squeezed it hard; but it didn’t hurt. After a moment he realized this and let it go ( no, please don’t --).

He nodded. Nodded a lot. His head was starting to ache. “I’ll try.”

“Good.” He smiled. “I will help you how I can.”

Demyx couldn’t help but grin back. The warm feeling was back again, almost completely overpowering. He didn’t know how he would ever be able to fight it. He wasn’t sure he wanted to fight it. Was there any way he could ever make himself good enough?

He wasn’t so sure.

A finger of pain reached under his breastbone, breaking through the warmth and making him gasp.

“Demyx?” Ienzo asked. “Are you alright?”

Hot, sickly agony spread through his body. His consciousness cleaved suddenly, like a light being snuffed out; and the next thing he was aware of was the afternoon light playing on the ceiling. His heart was racing still, and it was hard to breathe. As Demyx came to, bit by bit, he realized Ienzo was holding his hand. Something smelled like bleach and detergent; Ienzo’s jacket was under his head.

“...pulse still pretty erratic,” Ienzo mumbled.

Demyx squeezed his hand, unable to speak.

“Oh, good, you’ve come to. Can you speak?”

“I feel sick.”

“You’ve fainted.”

He tried to sit up and found the world had gone dizzy. Ienzo eased him back down onto the makeshift pillow.

“Rest for a minute, okay?” A hand on his forehead. “You’ve a bit of a fever.”

“I felt cold this morning.”

“That might be it.”

Demyx felt odd, like he was being shaken from the inside out. It felt different than a fever. Fevers weren’t usually accompanied by chest pains.

“Can you sit up?”

He slipped an arm under him and gently hefted him up. Demyx swayed a little.

“We’ve got to try to get you to bed, alright?”

Humiliated tears pricked his eyes.

“Lean against me if you have to.”

Standing was treacherous, and nauseating. Ienzo slipped an arm around his waist. They set off, bit by bit. Why did this castle have to be so big?

“Do you think this is systemic?” Ienzo asked. “Or psychological? What were you thinking about immediately before you lost consciousness? Do you remember?”

How could Demyx tell him that he’d been thinking he’d never be good enough for him? It would open a can of worms he just wasn’t ready to deal with. Not to mention he was almost positive Ienzo didn’t reciprocate his feelings. Why should he? What about him was something he would find even remotely attractive?

The pain surged again, and he almost fell. Ienzo struggled under his sudden weight. “I’m wondering if I should get Aeleus to come carry you. You’re very weak.”

“Please don’t.” To his horror, his voice wavered.

“Clearly something has upset you on a deep metaphysical level--”

“I can’t tell you.” He fought to regain his composure, to take some of his weight back.

“Is it very personal?”

Demyx nodded.

“Alright.”

They made it back to his room, bit by bit. Demyx was so dizzy that for a few moments laying down was worse than standing. Ienzo flinched and rolled his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” Demyx said.

“I’m not as strong as I used to be,” Ienzo said. He sighed. “Get some rest. I’ll come check on you in a few hours.”

“Thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”

“Do you believe I’d just leave you lying there?”

He shook his head, though he wasn’t sure.

Ienzo sighed again. Demyx couldn’t read the blank, melancholy look on his face. “Hopefully this pain you’re experiencing is temporary,” he said, and left.

He slept for a long while and woke up to a cold hand touching his wrist. Even’s acidic green eyes met his, then flicked back to his wristwatch. “Your vitals have returned more or less to normal. Whatever this spell is, it’s passed.”

Demyx did feel better, though shaky. “Where’s Ienzo?”

Even scowled. “Called away by Ansem. You realize I am also capable of providing you with care, yes?”

“...Sorry.” He touched the spot over his heart. There was no more pain.

“He did describe your symptoms to me. Quite perplexing on the surface, but no more than a trick of biology. Your heart is still growing. No doubt any strong surge of emotion or memory would be debilitating. I’ve yet to experience it myself, but I’m certain that’s the case.” He raised an eyebrow. “What is it you were feeling, exactly? Hatred for your work? I’m told that’s what you were doing.”

Demyx bared his teeth. “No. It was… something else. ...Guilt.” And a heady dose of self-loathing. “I want… I want to be a better person.”

“As much as that warms the cockles of my heart, you must tread carefully. Dive too deeply into the mistakes of your past, and you might not escape. Your new heart is too brittle for that strain. Break it, and you might not be lucky enough to get a new one.” Even cast an odd look over his shoulder. “Good day, Demyx. Rest well.”

[yasuda-yoshiya]

So, KH3 is over.

Wow. That sure was a thing.

Closing reflections on both the game and the series as a whole below.

I guess I’m not even really surprised that Xion pretty much got a whole five minutes of screentime in the end after all that build-up. Don’t know what else I expected, Nomura...

You know, KH has always been terrible at pacing, but I still can’t quite believe just how much nothing happened in the first ~20 hours! The Disney filler is fine and all (I mean, the game wouldn’t sell without it), but I have to admit that the initial rush of childish excitement at getting new KH content started to wear pretty thin after four or five worlds of it. Games like KH2 and BBS at least tended to break things up with some big plot events halfway through, right?! I feel like this game really would have benefited a lot from having some kind of breather somewhere in the middle, even if it was just a matter of moving things like the Aqua/Ventus rescue up a bit earlier. They really had to cram a lot into those last few hours, and a lot of things ended up feeling more rushed than they really needed to be as a result. But for all the game’s flaws, in the end I still felt like I was able to leave the characters I cared about most on a satisfying note, and I think I’m content with that.

I really loved the way Axel was portrayed in this game! I feel like they hit a pretty good balance with him in the sense that, yes, he’s obviously realised that he messed up horribly and wants to do better, but he still totally feels like Axel. He’s still very much an obviously flawed and self-centered person who still habitually puts his own emotional needs above others, still wants to frame himself as the hero of the story who will obviously be the one to save Roxas in the end - and I love that the game itself never really buys into that framing. There is honestly not a single scene in this game where I felt like the emphasis was on what a cool and good person Axel is. His constant apologies to Kairi feel incredibly uncomfortable, like he’s very clumsily trying to finally hold himself accountable for what he’s done but still has absolutely no idea to actually handle it. His boasts about being a Keyblade wielder feel like empty arrogant bluster that never really gets backed up. When he pointedly interrupts the big cast reunion to scream “Um, hello, what about ME?!”, it seems more petty and ridiculous than anything. And when we get to the final battle, he repeatedly and consistently fails, on every count. He tries to have a big badass moment rebelling against Xemnas, but Xemnas totally beats his ass, and in the end it’s Roxas and Xion who have to jump in to save him, not the other way around. He has absolutely nothing to do with saving Roxas, or bringing him and Xion back, or even dealing with Saix, despite how much he heatedly promised that he was going to totally do all those things.

In the end, the real crux of his arc feels like that moment where Xion tells him to step back and leave it to them, and Axel just smiles and admits that, yeah, when it came down to it, the two of them were always stronger than him. They don’t need him, and they never did. I love that so, so much. I love the way that when the three of them are left alone together after the battle, he’s just so obviously awkward and uncomfortable and has no idea what to say, until the three of them all just finally break down crying and hugging each other. It felt so totally genuine and powerful and heartfelt, and I couldn’t have asked for more. I really appreciated Axel’s acknowledgement at the end that they had a lot to sort out, and I expect they probably still do, and a lot of it’s probably going to be messy and painful and difficult - but I’m also fine with us not getting to see that onscreen or with the game dwelling on it too much, because in the end, what’s really important as far as the series’ themes go is that they’re all finally here and alive and free to be themselves, and the ending rightly puts the final emphasis on that - on the sheer joy and wonder of them finally being able to live in the world, as people, to be happy and confident in themselves and who they are. Xion showing up at the tower in those beautiful clothes was the point where I pretty much just started crying my eyes out and couldn’t stop for the entire credits sequence. I love that the framing of their final scenes doesn’t really put any real special emphasis on Axel at all; it makes it feel like their happy ending isn’t really about them reuniting with him as a trio (in the way that, say, the BBS trio’s ending is very much framed), it’s about a much broader sense of them being able to live, and to experience the joy of living, with all that entails - that he’s just one of many friends for them now, and that the days of their messed up co-dependent relationship where they all had to desperately cling on to each other to feel human are hopefully over. The only thing I don’t really like about it in the end is Saix being there, but hey, nothing’s perfect. I do wish that things like Xion’s return had been a bit less rushed, and that her and Roxas had more screentime than they did, but all in all, I feel like I definitely got the closure I wanted, and I’m overjoyed with it.

As for the rest of the game... well, I’d be lying if I said the overall plot wasn’t pretty much a giant incoherent mess overall - the finale had way too much crammed into it, a ton of the antagonists seemed to do sudden 180s at the end for no reason, and it was an absolutely terrible choice to spend such a huge amount of time on obvious sequel hooks and cliffhangers (the black box, Subject X, Marluxia and co secretly being ancient keyblade warriors or whatever the hell Chi is doing) in a game that should really have been firmly focused on giving closure to the existing arcs after all these years - but... well, it’s Nomura, and it’s Kingdom Hearts. I don’t think I really expected anything else. But I did feel like the game was generally charming and enjoyable on a moment-to-moment level, the quality of the dialogue and cutscene direction felt like a big step up for the series, and I did actually enjoy the sheer scope and ambition of the final boss rush for what it was. It was absolutely a mess, but it felt like a sort of final celebration of the series and its characters that made me feel really excited and nostalgic in a sort of “bringing out my inner twelve-year-old” way, and there were a lot of great individual moments in there - the RXA reunion, Repliku’s sacrifice, Sora apologising to Namine - that genuinely did manage to hit hard and leave an impact. I guess at this point, KH has been ongoing for so long that it’s just inevitably exciting to see all these stories finally coming to a conclusion instead of just stalling at the same point forever, however weird the execution.

The one big thing I’d say they totally dropped the ball on was the BBS trio; their resolutions just felt completely empty to me, way too easy and simplistic and without any real consequences or acknowledgement of things like Aqua’s fall to darkness and how it impacted on her, or Terra’s rock-bottom self-esteem and the ways Aqua and Eraqus contributed to that. (Hell, when Ansem and Xemnas’s last words gave me much stronger Terra feelings than Terra’s actual resolution did, something must have gone terribly wrong!) They weren’t really ever my favourite characters, so I’m not too upset about it, but I still think they deserved better than they got. And I pretty much just tuned out all the nonsense at the end with Kairi’s unbelievably transparent and cynical fridging (”You require motivation” oh my god get lost!!) and the drama over Sora being separated from her again becuse I just...really didn’t care any more. I’m sorry, I just didn’t. Those two can keep cycling through their same old boring plot forever if they want to, I just don’t care!! I actually barely even noticed Sora disappearing at the end because I was too busy crying over Xion, lmao. Thank god my favourite characters don’t have to live inside those two losers any more. They are free from their nonsense now, and so am I.

So, how do I feel about the series as a whole, coming out of KH3? I’ve spent quite a bit of time revisiting and reflecting back on the older games in the run-up to KH3′s release, and honestly, I think my opinion coming out is more or less the same as it was coming in. I can’t really honestly say that the series as a whole is good, and it’s probably not at all worth the investment for anyone new to the series trying to get into it now - but I do feel that there is genuinely a lot of good stuff in there among all the nonsense, and I’d have to say that my personal experience growing up with the series and following it all these years has been an overwhelmingly positive one, overall.

KH1 was a very conventional shounen story, but a charming and beautifully told one. CoM was a genuinely unique and unsettling game that pulled apart KH1 in a ton of interesting ways, and even if the series didn’t have the guts to really keep going with the ideas it set up, I still feel that it was really interesting and cool as a standalone. KH2 was a mess, but it was an epic mess that I totally loved and obsessed over as a twelve-year-old, and it set up some genuinely fascinating concepts with Roxas, the Nobodies and the Organization which 358/2 Days went on to capitalise on incredibly well. I genuinely find 358/2 Days to be a game that still has a lot of power and resonance for me even now; it’s probably the only KH game I’d say I wholeheartedly respect and admire from a writing perspective, and I still love how comprehensively it tears apart everything KH2 was trying to say (in a way that the series totally was willing to run with and expand on, unlike CoM, which even 10 years later is still kind of unbelievable to me). BBS’s writing was a big step down from Days, but there were still a lot of really cool and interesting characters and concepts in there, and even if KH3 ultimately failed to stick the landing on them, I’d still say that a lot of what the game tried to communicate with Terra’s character in particular has continued to stick with me. Re:coded and DDD were both pretty silly, but they were still totally fun and addictive games (debugging system sectors was great fun, and I can’t hate anything as transparently Pokemon-derivative as the Dream Eaters), and I loved how they both so unapologetically continued down the path Days set up in kicking KH2′s original conclusions about Nobodies to the curb. And KH3, for all its missteps, still managed to cap off the character arcs and themes that I most cared about in a way that was ultimately satisfying to me. The overarching plot might have been absolute nonsense, and the series more often than not a ridiculous and filler-bloated mess, but in the end I really can’t feel anything but happy and positive memories when I look back on any of these games. I can’t really hold the series’ flaws against it too much when it’s brought me so much joy over all these years.

I think the one thing I love and appreciate most about the series, looking back now, really is just how willing they were to scream from the rooftops that the sacrifices Roxas and Xion were pushed into making were categorically wrong, that they deserved to be their own people, right through to the very end. In the end, the series was already pretty much irreversibly going down the path of bringing them back and giving them their own happy endings by the end of DDD - which was amazing - so in the end all KH3 really had to do for me to love it was to just complete that obvious final step, and I was more or less guaranteed to be okay with whatever other nonsense it might do. But even so, there was a part of me that still couldn’t quite believe it seeing their happy ending at the end of KH3; I still almost couldn’t process that this was actually real, that they actually seriously did it. KH2 so obviously wanted its players to uncritically take Roxas’s choice to go back to being part of Sora as a good thing, and even Days left a heck of a lot of wiggle room for people to read Xion’s willingness to sacrifice herself as a positive choice, rather than something she very clearly did not want but was forced to convince herself was okay because she simply wasn’t given any other viable options.

And this kind of goofy shounen-adjacent series having a lot of disturbing and uncomfortable subtext beneath the surface of its seemingly conventional plotlines isn’t exactly a rare thing in itself, but I feel like it’s pretty uncommon to see a series like this go so far in explicitly bringing out that subtext and making it into text - unambiguously shouting from the rooftops and making it outright unavoidable canon that, no, Days was in fact not just a tragic story about people with no hearts who were always just tragically doomed from the start to sacrifice themselves and return to the “real people” they came from, but was in fact a story about perfectly real and complete and valuable people being subtly and systematically brainwashed into believing that they had no hearts and were less real and valid and important than others, about the horrible things those kinds of beliefs can do to people and about force them to willingly dehumanise both themselves and others to cope. Xion’s story was not a beautiful tale about accepting her true nature as a part of Sora’s memories and willingly returning to him, it was a story about a person who absolutely deserved and wanted to live for herself having her entire identity and self-confidence crushed and destroyed, about her being pushed into becoming actively suicidal even by perfectly “well-meaning” people. Roxas’s tragedy was in fact not just that he “didn’t get to meet Sora himself” before getting assimilated back into him - him being assimilated into someone else in the first place was the tragedy, because giving his own independently developed self up should never have to be something anyone has to do. Namine merging with Kairi was not a beautiful happy ending, it was an incredibly depressed and guilt-ridden person taking the first excuse she had to fade away because she no longer saw any value in herself and her existence, and Sora and Kairi uncritically validated that perception of herself by accepting her merge with Kairi as right in a way that they absolutely shouldn’t have.

None of this is reduced to subtext or interpretation, KH makes it all outright canon by implication - and not only makes it canon but actively sets up the entire main thrust of its epic multi-game arc to be about setting these mistakes right and bringing these people back and validating them as full human beings in their own right. And honestly, I just think that’s incredible. I love it, and I’ll always be grateful for it, and a huge part of what lets me keep coming back to games like 358/2 Days and still being able to fully appreciate them even now is having that knowledge that these interpretations are not just me reading too much into the text, but that they have been outright objectively confirmed as the correct readings within the series itself, over and over again, and only more and more and more explicitly and unavoidably as time has gone on. I honestly can’t express how much it means to me that KH is so loud and unambiguous about how much it loves and values and holds up these people as real and important, whatever their origins, whatever the fanbase might have to say about how bringing them back is “fanservice” and “ruining their original conclusions”. It’s so important to me, and I’m so thankful for it.

So yes, overall, I think I’m content with this game, and with the series in general! As long-awaited series finales go, I’ll definitely take it over things like Homestuck and Zero Escape’s efforts any day. I feel pretty much happy ending my time with the series on this note, and while I probably will still end up checking out whatever Nomura does next, I think it will probably be more out of vague curiosity than any strong investment by now, which is fine - the plotlines I cared about most within the series have now been pretty definitively closed, to my satisfaction, and I doubt anything else it does will manage to interest me nearly as much, but I’m sure I’ll still be willing to pop in again in a few years anyway for old times’ sake. For now, I am free, and I’d have to say that feels pretty good! I’m willing to forgive Kingdom Hearts a lot just because it’s brought me so much joy over the years, and I can’t think of any other series that has managed to stay emotionally significant to me for as much of my life as this one has. So in the end, all I can say is: thank you, Tetsuya Nomura! Keep on co-opting those beloved Disney movies to indulge your absurdly convoluted shounen anime nonsense, you wonderful, ridiculous man.

[icecream-junkie]

Star Trek Discovery’s Captain Lorca, moral values, and the MU

(This post contains spoilers for episodes 1x06 and 1x12 of Star Trek Discovery.)

First of all, I would like to apologize for this lengthy rant. This has been brewing for a while, and after seeing a few comments in regards to the latest Star Trek Discovery episode, Vaulting Ambition, I really had to get this off my chest. @thetv-junkie has already made similar points in another post that I strongly recommend reading.

Before I continue, I’ll freely admit that I’m absolutely, unashamedly #TeamLorca. To me, Lorca is a fascinating character, no matter whether he’s PU or MU, morally ambiguous or outright evil. I know I’m not the only one who thinks so, but there has also been a lot of criticism. From the very beginning, Lorca has been called all kinds of names, because he doesn’t behave like the typical Starfleet captain. After the big reveal in Vaulting Ambition new insults have been added to that list, even though the only information we have is handily supplied by his enemy (who, as such, isn’t necessarily a reliable source).

I’m not saying that Lorca is without flaw. Truth be told, he’s the complete opposite. But that’s what makes him such a great character and an ideal mirror for our own moral values.

In the MU moral values are vastly different than in the PU. You could probably go as far as to say that there simply are none. We might not like the rules characters from that particular universe play by; in fact, we’re supposed to disagree with them. In a way, that’s the whole point of the MU. We’re supposed to see a vastly different, if not outright evil, version of something good, something we admire.

Lorca is a great example for that. He is manipulative and ruthlessly pursues his own goals no matter what the costs might be. He doesn’t seem to care who he sacrifices to reach his goals and shows no remorse. In short, he is what a character from the MU should be.

However, just because we consider a certain type of behaviour wrong, doesn’t mean that it is considered wrong in the MU. Lorca (or anyone else from the MU for that matter), who has lived his whole (or at least most of his) life in a universe that isn’t bound by PU moral values, might see things very differently. In fact, by MU standards Lorca might still turn out to be a good guy in his universe, despite all that he has done.

The scene with Cornwell in Lethe is a good example. Do I think he should have slept with her? No. But just because I feel like he shouldn’t have doesn’t mean that he feels the same way. In fact, it might not even have crossed his mind that this might be inappropriate. As @thetv-junkie pointed out, sex is often used as a means to an end in the MU. That’s exactly what Lorca did here. He used sex to manipulate or at least distract Kat. He’s behaving like a character from the MU would.

Kat is sleeping with him knowing full well that she probably shouldn’t sleep with Gabriel in this situation. She knows that she is being manipulated, because Lorca wasn’t particularly sneaky about it. He obviously suggested they should have sex to stop her line of questioning. She might very well have her own agenda for sleeping with him. After all, she wants to know if he is well enough to be in command and while I do believe that she genuinely worries about him and might even be blinded by her feelings for him to a certain extent, that doesn’t change the fact that her choice to have sex with him when she visited him to evaluate him (even if it’s in an unofficial capacity) is questionable as well.

After the incident with the phaser Cornwell becomes a threat to Lorca and his mission. As a result, he suggests that she should take over Sarek’s mission in the hopes to either distract her or get rid of her. However, it is what it is: a suggestion. After all, he’s only a captain. He can’t simply send an admiral on a mission or make her do anything she doesn’t want to do. If Cornwell and/or Starfleet Command had not been convinced that the risk was worth taking for the slim chance of ending the war sooner rather than later, she would have told him just where to stick that suggestion. Yes, he may have schemed to get her out of the way. Yes, he may have willingly risked her life to buy himself time to get Discovery to the MU (again, perfectly acceptable behaviour for an MU character), but in the end the decision was hers. Saying he ‘sent’ her to the Klingons, implies that she didn’t have a choice, which isn’t the case. She did have a choice and she chose to risk her life. Personally, I feel like saying otherwise diminishes her courage and sacrifice.

As for MU Lorca and MU Burnham and whatever their relationship might have been, so far we‘ve only heard what Emperor Georgiou told us. Honestly, I don’t trust that woman as far as I can throw her. I’m might really have cared for MU Michael or even loved her like a daughter, but that doesn’t mean that everything she tells PU Michael is the truth. @inwaitforsomethingbetter made some good points that show how Georgiou is manipulating Michael and it doesn’t surprise me. After all, she isn’t Georgiou’s Michael. She just looks like her.

While it is clear that MU Lorca seems to care for Michael (or at least pretends to convincingly), I’m not necessarily a fan of MU Lorca/MU Burnham as a ship and would much rather see them in a (non-sexual) mentor & mentee or father & daughter relationship. However, even if every word Georgiou said was true (and if TPTB choose to go that way so be it), it doesn’t change the fact that we are talking about the MU here and that our moral values don’t apply there.

You might find it revolting and that’s ok. But please take it as what it is and always was meant to be (at least in my eyes): a look at right and wrong, good and evil and how fine a line there might be between the two. Two versions of the same character brought up in different environments can turn into completely opposite people, while still being similar somehow. Nobody is either completely good or completely evil. Lorca fooled many people in the PU, so he can’t have behaved too badly according to PU moral values most of the time. At this point I’m not sure whether that’s because he simply isn’t all bad or because he’s a very talented liar and was clever enough not to get caught when he did break the rules, but it doesn’t really matter. Either way he is a fascinating character that makes us think about our own moral values. Just look at all the discussions this sparked!

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

can you sort the percy Jackson characters into Hogwarts houses?

YES. 

okay so let’s all remember: Gryffindor- ‘courage, bravery, nerve and chivalry’, Hufflepuff -‘hard work, patience, justice and loyalty’, Ravenclaw- ‘intelligence, creativity, learning and wit’, and Slytherin- ‘ambition, cunning, leadership and resourcefulness’. 

Annabeth Chase- Ravenclaw, she’s definitely one of the easier ones when it comes to this. While she would fit nicely into other houses, her intelligence and wit are almost always what saves her ass. She’s a great fighter but she prefers talking her way out of situations, disarming her enemies with words. Not to mention she had Arachne weave her own trap on the spot, like, come on. 

Thalia Grace- Slytherin. She could definitely fit into Gryffindor, but Thalia’s very ambitious, resourceful as hell, and her fatal flaw is literally being power hungry. She slides into leadership roles automatically and gets enraged when someone tries to question her authority or ability (see: all her fights with Percy, ever). She’s definitely most at home in this house. 

Luke Castellan- Hufflepuff. He’s literally a poster boy for the puffs before he joins Kronos. ‘But wait,’ you say, ‘he should be Slytherin, he was cunning and resourceful and leading Kronos’ army!’ NO HE WASN’T. He was following Kronos’ orders and acting like a mouthpiece 90% of the time! Luke had a strong sense of loyalty- and it was used against him. He had a strong sense of justice- and he felt everyone the gods wronged deserved that. He was a hard worker and crazy patient as a camp counselor and those traits came into play when he was working for Kronos. This boy is a Hufflepuff. He also personally recovered Kronos’ remains, so, like, he’s even a particularly good finder. 

Grover Underwood- Hufflepuff. Honestly I shouldn’t even really have to explain this one, but: there’s a reason Pan chose him as a replacement. Grover puts his literal everything into whatever task he’s given, whether that be searching for pan, restoring the wild, or protecting demigods. Unfailingly loyal, extremely patient with all the ridiculous demigods around him, and always willing to fight for what’s right even if he’s scared. I love my hufflepuff goat boy!!! 

Rachel Elizabeth Dare- Gryffindor. She’d fit in so well in Ravenclaw, to the point where I wanna say ‘fuck it’ and put her there, but like…this girl found out the boy she had almost died around twice was half god and immediately believed him and went Ride Or Die for him. She lead a bunch of potentially crazy strangers through the freaking death trap maze on a hunch that she could. She highjacked a helicopter and flew it into a warzone to help her friend. She let an ancient prophetic spirit posses her body even though she knew the last person who tried lost their mind. She hit the titan lord Kronos in the eye with a plastic hairbrush, and then immediately decided that hairbrush was the only weapon she would ever need to defend herself with, even though everyone else around her has swords or fangs. This girl is batshit crazy impulsive and filled to the brim with nerve, Gryffindor is where she belongs. I love her bye. 

Bianca di Angelo- Gryffindor. She was always a little more hesitant than the others, but when push came to shove she always took risks to do what she thought was right. My baby was brave as hell okay. 

Zoe Nightshade- Slytherin. She was a great leader for centuries, and dreamed big for the future of the hunters even when she knew she was going to die. Was literally one of the most pulled together people in this entire series. Resourceful as shit. She was also very set in the ways of her past, a common trait among slytherins- she just couldn’t bring herself to care about the mortal world outside of when it directly effected her, and often put up a fight when she had to conform to it. Slytherins are also often very loyal to their own, and, well, we all remember how her story ended. She would do anything for Artemis. I’m literally still crying over her okay bye. 

Nico di Angelo- Hufflepuff. I will not stand for all these slytherin Nico posts any longer, guys!!! This boy is a hufflepuff!!!!! Holy shit!! Okay, like, the slytherin traits? He hates leadership, his only ambition is to not have severe depression, and??? cunning??? This fucking loser cunning???? Like, sure, he hid the camps from each other but like…not well. Everyone knew he was hiding something, just no one bothered to press him on it that hard lmao. And he doesn’t do ANYTHING for his own personal gain. He belongs in hufflepuff- Nico is loyal to a fault. He’s been double crossed so many times because it just didn’t occur to him that people would take advantage of him, because he personally would never do that to someone. Nico di Angelo has every reason under the sun to want to betray the gods and he just…doesn’t. He never even considers it for a second, because he has a strong sense of right and wrong, and even if he feels like an outsider at camp that’s still the place where his loyalties lie. Percy, as a narrator, has had moments where he’s been suspicious of Nico’s motives, but he’s never once doubted Nico’s intent. He doesn’t always know if he can trust Nico as a friend but he’s absolutely sure Nico will always be an ally. Nico’s an incredibly hard worker even if he doesn’t let it show to the others, but he’s always pushing himself to his absolute limits to help. And like, again, half the time he doesn’t actually have to work so hard to help, some people never really even expect him to help at all- but he goes out of his way because he knows it the right thing to do. He holds grudges and lashes out in anger because his sense of justice is almost overpowering. This kid is a hufflepuff and I’ll actually fight you on it. 

Ethan Nakamura- Gryffindor. He’s…really hard to place, honestly, but I think this spot fits him better than slytherin. Even if he was misguided, he was very brave and had a lot of nerve. 

Charles Beckendorf- Gryffindor. This boy was literally everything Godric Gryffindor had in mind when he created the house. He’s a Gryffindor wet dream. Had a lot of nerve, was a big brother to basically everyone in camp, and readily sacrificed himself for the greater cause. My brave boy I miss him. 

Silena Beauregard- Hufflepuff. She was extremely loyal, even if she put her faith in the wrong people at points. Sacrificed herself trying to do what she knew was right. Very hardworking and always willing to help anybody. I love her sm. 

Clarisse LaRue- Slytherin. Literally who’s more ambitious and resourceful than Clarisse. Who loves taking charge more than Clarisse. No one. No one at all. This girl is 100% Slytherin and she kicks ass doing it. 

Will Solace- Hufflepuff. He tries so hard to help people!!! Patient enough to help Nico work through his shit!! Unfailingly loyal to his ridiculous father!!! Never shown to be anything other than a sweet guy who just wants to do good in the world. This goofball sunshine is precious. 

Jason Grace- Hufflepuff. Jason often finds himself in positions of power, even though he hates being in power, just because he’s the only one people know they can trust 100%. And he does it without complaining, and does everything he can to make sure everyone he’s working with is doing okay. He acts all stoic to try to make people feel more protected but this fucking dork is always stressed, Ride Or Dies for everyone he knows and if you ask him to describe any of his friends he’ll probably tear up while singing their praises to you. He works SO HARD to make sure everything is going okay, and strongly believes in teamwork. He’s patient enough to deal with, like, everyone he’s ever encountered, and always does what’s in the best interest for others. Speaks up to his father about honoring the forgotten gods because he knows it’s what’s right. A total screaming dork and I love my boy. 

Piper McLean- Gryffindor. Like…half of her character arc is dedicated to her learning to be brave and fighting for what’s right. You need a lot of nerve and power to work charmspeak as well as she does, and she’s always ready to pull some ridiculous stunts. She starts out somewhat panicked and timid, but once she starts to grow she realizes that if anything’s gonna get done, it’s because she has to have the balls to do it herself. Will throw herself into dangerous situations, and is fiercely protective of her loved ones. Literally ran into a temple of fear and terror and??? Completely conquered it and took over and used it to wreck a giant???? This girl is a brave badass and nobody should ever mess with her MY GIRL. 

Leo Valdez- Ravenclaw. He??? Is literally a prodigy child??? Like I’m sorry I’m just so sick of people downplaying Leo’s intelligence. He understood complicated mathematics and basic engineering before he hit double digits. He captured and fixed Festus all by himself, in one night, when his entire cabin had been trying to do that for months. He found out he was a demigod and threw himself into studying ancient greek history. He designed the entire Argo, is the only person who can fly it and fully understands how it works, and is also the sole person who keeps it up and running with repairs. He figured out how the spheres work in record time, he’s always able to work out complicated riddles or problems. Remember that time he was about to crash into the ocean and he??? Taped the sphere to his chest and built a functioning personal helicopter to steer and soften his crash in like…under three minutes? That time he casually strolled into a grocery store and got all the stuff he needed to make a bomb in half an hour? He’s always making really little inventions that seem silly but are actually incredibly helpful? He’s hyper and goofy, sure, but Leo’s literally a genius. He’s incrediblely creative and fast thinking, loves learning and is always excited by new things. Please give my boy the credit he deserves. 

Hazel Levesque- Hufflepuff. Hazel is honestly SO HARD to sort because she’d be a model Gryffindor honestly but like…She didn’t have to sacrifice herself to stop Gaea, but she did anyway because she knew it was the right thing to do. She sacrificed eternal happiness because she knew it wasn’t fair for her mother to suffer. She has a very strong sense of justice and is always willing to fight for it. She’s always giving her 110% when she’s working at anything, be it practicing magic or sword fighting, and it really pays off. She deals with her failures with grace and is unwavering when it comes to the people she loves. Queen. 

Frank Zhang- Gryffindor. Literally his Whole Thing is that he has to be brave because he never knows when he’s gonna die. He’s always going to make sacrifices and fight for the people he cares because he’s set on burning bright. He’s got a lot of nerve, he just needs to be pushed to remember its there. A good leader whether he believes he is or not. Even when he’s not feeling confident, courage and bravery are the traits he admires and values most, and that’s what he wants to shoot for. I miss this teddy bear so much. 

Reyna Avila Ramirez-Arellano - Gryffindor. Like…come on. This is one of the easier ones. She’s one of the most courageous people in the series. She has enough inner strength that she can lend it all to an entire army. She found the bravery to stand up to her father in defense of her sister. She survived being captured by pirates. She threw herself on top of a bomb to protect the Athena Parthenos. My girl is a custom made Gryffindor. 

Calypso- Ravenclaw. She loves learning more than anything else, she’s super creative and ingenuitive, and is taking steps to learn magic again. High hopes for this girl I love her. 

Octavian- Slytherin. Doesn’t need much explanation tbh. Very cunning, very ambitious, very power hungry. Willing to do anything to get his way. Remember that time he like, scammed Apollo and then further scammed his camp into basically making him pope??? Wild. I don’t miss him.

Meg McCaffrey- Gryffindor. She’s pretty hard to place but she’s arguably one of the braver characters, even if she doesn’t believe she is. She gets nervous and scared a lot but she’s often able to push past that and stay strong. Back talks everyone under the sun because she barely gives a fuck. At the end of the day she knows what’s right and wrong, and she wants to help. 

Percy Jackson- Ravenclaw. Listen. Let me explain. First of all, Percy is SO HARD to place and I completely understand all the ridiculous discourse over whether he’s Gryffindor/Hufflepuff/Slytherin, but I NEVER see cases made for Ravenclaw Percy and I think it’s a travesty, because he’d fit in there quite nicely. So, listen, I know the boy has a bit of a bad rep for being slow, but like…most of the time he really isn’t? It’s just one of those things that got exaggerated. Percy’s a very observant person, he just doesn’t exactly always let the other characters know that. He’s not a straight A student, but we do know he’s not awful- a lot of times there will be moments where he directly goes “hey, I remember learning something like this in school!” and applies whatever it is to the situation. Some of his plans have been crazy or ridiculous, but they are creative, usually have some kind of logic behind them, and do often work out for him- when they had to get off the Thrill Ride O’ Love, when he used Thalia’s shield as a sled for them down a hill, when he pulled a stunt similar to that trying to get to camp Jupiter, when he somehow made a pulley system out of chains and pulled his giant half brother off the ground, stuff like that. Like Annabeth, he’s also very good at talking his way out of situations- he doesn’t always like to, but he can absolutely pull it off when he needs to. He’s a very smart talker, honestly, there are multiple instances of him managing to manipulate others into doing what he wants them to (not just the scene with Bob, which gets the most attention bc it was outside of his pov). He’s incredibly witty, in both definitions of the word, and often times it works to his advantage because other characters downplay his intelligence. He has a good sense for battle strategy, and he’s incredibly perceptive about his surroundings, often times picking up on things the others (even Annabeth!) miss. He has a strong intuition and things usually work out when he follows it. There’s more I can use to back this up but this is already long enough, point is- I think Percy is just an unconventional Ravenclaw. Like, upon meeting him you don’t immediately understand why he’s in that house, but it becomes clearer the more he opens up, like Luna, I guess? Anyway, I love my boy and he’s very smart please give him some credit. 

Feel free to send me your guys’ opinions!!! :) 

[valkerymillenia]

Omg there's so much I want to talk about in TLJ that I don't even know where to start!

And my ships 😏 hehe I see what the authors are doing.

Red herrings everywhere.

Spoilers ahead.

These are random disjointed fangirlish thoughts on the movie that I have to spill out before I can become coherent again. Bare with me.

THE HUMOUR! So good and yet so well nuanced that it complemented the seriousness of the  movie very well.

GENERAL HUGS and SALT GUY need to be memes. I mean, c’mon guys, you know I’m right.

LEIA USING THE FORCE TO SAVE HERSELF, IN THE VACUUM OF SPACE! My gods, she always had so much potential and it’s good to see some of it finally being expressed. They built Leia up so well in this movie, so much development, I love it but now I’m so afraid of what they’ll do for ep IX without Carrie...

Billie Lourd having way more protagonism! The legacy continues.

WOMEN EVERYWHERE!  As many as the men and in equal posts! Thank you, gods! Also, POC everywhere! YES, THANK YOU!

Rose is freaking adorable and well written, the viewers form an instant connection with her through her sister and she has that innocent and wonder that we haven’t had since New Hope’s Luke.

Though Rose describing Canto Bight made me laugh because it was a perfect echo of Obi-Wan describing Mos Isley... In fact when she described it as an ugly horrifying place filled with the most despicable people, all I could think was ‘girl, you’ve clearly never been to Mos Isley’. Though in the end Canto Bight is more civilized but morally worse than Mos Isley so she’s not wrong.

Still wondering was the message Rey asked Chewie to give Finn...

Shipping wise... They're baiting us with Finn x Rose AND Finn x Poe AND Finn x Rey all at once. Interesting to see the guy being the center of a love tangle for a change. Anyway, they are clearly letting the audience chose how to interpret each relationship.

Now, I’m trying to analyze this without shipper goggles (yet) so...

Poe's body language is all over Finn who seems clueless, Poe just acts so differently around Finn compared to others, hell, he even acts possessive of Finn (the way he examines all of ‘naked and leaking’ Finn, and, his face when he meets Rose and slightly places himself between her and Finn- “Who’s this?”).

Rose kisses Finn but he doesn't kiss back, it's not even shock he just looks confused and more concerned with saving her. In sum- Rose's body language is all over Finn, even more explicitly than Poe (because heteronormativity and all) but once again Finn looks absolutely clueless of what others feel towards him.

The only times Finn's body language and attitude go beyond more than friendship and admiration are when it's related to Rey... Though then she’s the one whose body language only denotes platonic feelings.

I see what's happening- the authors are showing all these options as red herrings under our noses, which often happens in the middle of trilogies, all so the fans won't be able to guess what's coming. Hell, I could almost feel an asexual vibe from Finn and the Rose x Finn kiss echoes the red herring Leia x Luke kiss in ep V so much...

Personally I still ship stormpilot (though not averse to Rose and Poe sharing Finn but that will never happen and still prefer stormpilot), even though I openly admit that it's clear they wanted to show obvious Finn x Rey chemistry and some Finn x Rose (albeit more one-sided).

Moving on...

ALL THE FUCKING REYLO! My poor shipper heart was exploding!

Topless Kylo! Flustered “please-cover-up-that-distracting-bod” Rey! LMAO!

I'm so happy that reylo is a cannon thing now. Sure, it's in a tragic ship sort of way instead of openly romantic, but damn, that back to back battle against the praetorian guard... AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Scarred Kylo! 

Kylo hesitating and refusing to shoot, most likely because Leia was on board the ship...

Rey crying when she touches Kylo and connects to his emotions. 

Official confirmation that Snoke was already manipulating Ben when he was Luke’s apprentice (like what was stated in the novelization of TFA).

Ben turning to the dark because he felt betrayed by Luke (echoing Anakin and the Jedi Council). 

Kylo constantly conflicted and expressing it through anger and obvious emotional vulnerability, even (or even more so) as he becomes “the big baddy”.

Kylo BEGGING to have Rey on his side. And vice-versa.

Kylo killing Snoke, not for power but for Rey, the power was just his ambition and greed bubbling up as Rey denies him.

Pretty sure Kylo will get a redemption arc- I know it doesn't seem like it but the clues are there and I'm a good 90% sure of this, otherwise we'd just have a copy of Anakin's conflict all over again albeit Kylo being more ambiguous and also less determined in about his intentions. Now, if this redemption ends well or not, with love or without it, with grey jedi or otherwise, that is where the mystery lies.

Ok, I admit, Reylo is my otp but objectively in canon I don't know how the ship will end, at this point it can go either way; but imho Kylo will be redeemed somehow. As a writer and someone very much used to deconstructing plots, I can tell that there are enough clues for this, not just in this movie but in the big picture of the whole SW movieverse. 

One thing is for sure- the old dichotomy of jedi and sith as we know it is dead. Luke, Kylo and Yoda give us enough confirmation of this (and admittedly the whole black-white/good-evil extremes thing was getting SO old).

Personally I'm praying with all my might that we get Grey Jedi at last! And that would make both Rey and Kylo’s predictions true- she strays from the light and him from the dark and they meet in a middle term... It would make sense and seems to have been foreshadowed but unfortunately it’s not one of those things I can say I’m certain off. 

Let’s also have in account that the title of the movie is “The Last Jedi” but intended as plural (even here the subtitle was plural) so when Luke says “I will not be the last jedi”, I don’t think he means Rey exclusively.

Kylo was not made for leadership and rule either so I do wonder who will take the reigns of this crumbled government when it’s all said and done.

What else...

POE BEING A HOT-HEADED DAREDEVIL! He had such an aura of competence and poise in TFA but in TLJ we saw so much development, he was so humanized and flawed (but in the best way).

Phasma’s death was... as we say in Portugal “soube-me a pouco”, aka it felt lacking. Don’t get me wrong, it was epic, but they made such a huge deal of her in PR and marketing (especially in TFA) that it feels like she had a bigger role that got edited out in post-production. The fight with Finn was perfect and excellent for his growth but it felt like we needed more on Phasma to make it more meaningful.

HOLDO’S KAMIKAZE MOVE! Goddamn, I had mixed feelings about her through the whole movie but, although I usually dislike the kamikaze martyr trope, at that moment I just adored her. I feel like we could have gotten a bit more personal with her but either way it was tragically perfect.

Luke’s death felt unnecessary. Again, don’t get me wrong- I was afraid I’d hate it but it was a good death, an appropriate and meaningful one; however, it felt anti-climatic and unnecessary in the progression and pacing of the story itself. Perhaps if framed differently... Either way, the only way the manner of his death can be justified to me is if he has an important role (big or small, whatever, but meaningful) as a Force Ghost in ep IX.

Kinda wish we'd have a Luke-Anaking force ghost reunion; the two of them guiding Leia and Rey and even Kylo... But that's just wishful thinking.

The sweet moment between Leia and Luke broke me, I wanted to cry. They deserved so much more time together, hell, WE deserved to see so much more interaction between them as close siblings.

The almost imperceptive glance we get of the Jedi books safely stored in the Falcon! Begging the questions- who and why?

I wanted more Chewie and definitely more Maz! I really, really, REALLY want more Maz as a sassier modern version of Yoda.

Speaking of- loved the Yoda cameo- Mr ‘if you don’t have the balls then I’ll do for you’.

I get a feeling we’ll be seeing DJ again... But, honestly, so many new characters and they COULDN’T BRING BACK LANDO FUCKING CALRISSIAN?!

Please tell me Rey will build her own lightsaber now! And make it a lightsaber pike, it fits her much better than than the Skywalker saber. 

Liked Rey’s parentage reveal, honestly so much better than having her conveniently be the heir of a pre-existing character. Also gives her tragic past much more intensity.

Porgs were cute but screw them, the Vulptex’s were soooooo much better.

I’m conflicted about Snoke’s death... It was brilliant but at the same time it wasn’t as impactful as it could be if his role had been more pronounced in TFA. Still, very good though.

Best of all- HUX BEING TOSSED AROUND LIKE A DOLL. Deflates his ego beautifully. And when Kylo gives the “shoot with all you got” order when Luke pops up and Hux repeats the order word by word but louder to the troops and Kylo just gives him that ‘bitch, I just said that’ face... Priceless.

I loved BB-8 before but now I ADORE HIM! In Poe’s ship trying to fix the circuit board and then just goes “fuck it” and smashes into the whole thing. xD “Finn, wet, leaking” ! And taking out the prison guards! And piloting a damn AT-AT alone to shoot troopers! He’s so fucking smart and resourceful and just as much a daredevil as Poe, not to mention cute AF! 

BB-9E was interesting we didn’t get much more from him than appearance so BB-8 FTW!

Give me BB-8 merch. All the BB-8 merch!  Pillows, plushies, the drone! I’m in love with all things BB-8!

But when it comes to droids, I wanted more from R2, he felt neglected. Though that move of showing the old recording of young Leia’s distress message to push Luke really was genius.

Wondering if the little boy at the end is force sensitive or if he (or other kids) will have any role in the Resistance, there was a lot of foreshadowing there.

OMG the movie was just sooooo good! The spoilers terrified me but it was so good, for a mid-trilogy movie it was just right. Let’s hope IX lives up to it.

Finally, one last question- WHY IS NOBODY ASKING WHAT HAPPENED TO THE OTHER HANDFUL OF PADAWANS (KNIGHTS OF REN) THAT LEFT WITH BEN??????

I got up and practically saluted when the “in memory of” showed up. It got me in tears.

Ok, end of rambles... for now. 

[multsicorn]

i just really love this play alot ;) okay

Working on the theory that I Deserve To Have Fun (said theory has not been validated and is not ready for prime time discussion), I started watching the bootleg file I have of the OBC of Hamilton this afternoon.  (I downloaded it way back when I was in Hamilton fandom, before I went to go to see the play, and held off on watching it until I'd seen the play for Real, and then didn't particularly feel like it afterwards).

Some thoughts & observations:

[these got long and rambling.  lots of lams-shippiness and multi-shippiness, and gen stuff too]

* This play is really fuckin great.  Like, I've loved fandoms based around deeply mediocre and/or inconsistent canons, (looking at you, Check Please for the first, Glee for the second), and sure the hype around Ham was too big for anything to bear, but… yeah, I just really LOVE this canon, whatever its flaws, with so much heart, on so many levels.

* The staging!!!  I think means a lot here specificially cause I've heard all these songs dozens of times, mostly well over a year ago now, but - once in a while recently again, but in any case, I've done all my analysis picking over the songs, and they're inside me to a large extent.  Whereas much of the staging I only saw once, live.

* (And I had a close-up seat, then, which I paid lots of money for and felt Worth It, but I was so focused on the actors' faces, and so didn't read as much of the overall blocking as maybe I could have).

… anyway ….

"Alexander Hamilton"

* Alex taking off his white coat and putting on the brown coat Eliza gives him feels to me, this time, like he's leaving the world of the dead and coming to life.  Standing out from the crowd - of course - from the ensemble that's all wearing all-white - so he's Setting Out, etc., but also - they're back in all-white at the end, like ghosts.  So.  A sort of leaving the world outside time.

(Speaking of Eliza, there, I still always love the Eliza-Angelica-Laurens sequence in which they give Alex the coat, the book, and the bag.  MY SHIPSSS.  Such parallel!)

(And the bit where Washington's the one who's telling Alex he has to make something of himself! - I know I thought about and maybe posted about these things  back when the Grammy performance happened, but, Anyway.)

ALSO, also, 'you could never learn to take your time' being sung over Alex walking at a deliberately restrained pace to match the choreography on the bridge at the back of the stage so he comes down the stairs on the other side at the right time, is… funny.  Ha.  But the line's still true!  - And I just love how much the ensembles' dancing itself works as scenery.

"Aaron Burr, Sir"

* Alex is SO FUCKING EAGER it's RIDICULOUS he's like a PUPPY all like I CAN FRIEND!?!?

Burr may try to pretend he's not having it but he IS a BIT or he wouldn't invite Alex to have a drink etc. and… I love.

And then, every single time I hear the little line not-actually-exchange:

Burr: Fools who run their mouths off wind up dead

Laurens, in his first line in real time: What time is it?  (Showtime!)

Burr: Like I said…

I say, RUDE.

Although honestly - Burr is totally into Alex's ridiculous eagerness, like I said, he's coming closer, he admits something personal, he invites Alex out for a drink, it's not as obvious as Alex (cause he's just not) - and it's pretty RUDE ;), too of the revolutionary trio, from Burr's POV, to by their loudness and brashness and total lack of caution get in the middle of what was just shaping up to be possibly a Great Friendship.  So he can be forgiven for Harbinger of Dooming ;).

“My Shot” & "The Story of Tonight”

* As in most of Alex's interactions with the Gay Trio (Quartet!), I keep switching back and forth between LAMS IS REALLLL (it was, historically) (I wouldn't see it, though, I think, if I didn't know), and just ALEX IS A BI HUMAN DISASTER CUDDLING UP TO EVERY FRIEND HE MAKES.  Like, there's considerably More random arm-and-shoulder touching between Laurens and Alex than everyone else?  "You and I, do or die," (I do die!), and then they split up to each touch another dude, and in a slightly later verse Laurens is back again… oh, no, that 'back again' is "raise a glass to the four of us," BOTH TIMES, cause it has to be, ha.  You can say 'to the two of us,' Laurens, it's okay!  … But, like, otoh, "hard rock like Lancelot, I think your pants look hot, Laurens I like you a lot," is totally Alex flirting with these three dudes he just met all in the space of three lines.  It's great is what I'm saying.  Also Alex could use a positive setting towards people that's not 'will you be my friend and also get in my pants.'

The narrative of the song here, with the rest of the Revolutionary Quartet listening to Alex sceptically for his first few verses till they're impressed - I love the way that Laurens is his first and loudest and most consistent cheerleader ("shout it to the rooftops!"), hey, listen to this guy speak, the way that Alex LOOKS LIKE he's on a soapbox when he literally is, how that evokes the physicality of speaking to the crowd, and how his mind shoots three steps ahead of the present, and, yeah, okay, I just love the Alex/Laurens dynamic most of all, (cause I'm biased ;)), the way that Lauren's idealistic speaking ('raise a glass to freedom,' and, um, what was the start of his verse in My Shot?  whatever it was) makes Alex ~Look at him, and the way he's kinda just looking at Alex all the time.  Walking off arm-in-arm is SO they are together, okay.

(…. there are ten thousand more things in these songs, of course, but this is a post about My FEELINGS.)

“The Schuyler Sisters”

* The sibling back-and-forth dynamic here is just so freaking delightful to watch, it's so complicated, I can FEEL it.  Like, it feels like my sister and me (despite me only having the one)… Eliza going back and forth between Peggy and Angelica, how she's not just the middle sister in age, but she's trying to get Peggy to go along with Angelica's scheme, asking questions of and playing backup to Angelica, just - and the whole "mind at work" thing is perfect and Meaningful too, of course.  But what's harder to talk about here is the sibling dynamics, leading and restraining and following and conciliating, and it's displayed so well in the blocking and acting - and also, I can see how this Eliza falls for and enchants Alex.

Angelica has center stage for most of it, but I love the way Eliza takes center stage for a little bit - and when she does it's not about "work" anymore, but about HOW LUCKY WE ARE TO BE ALIVE RIGHT NOW, which feels kinda painfully and naively optimistic nowadays but… I do believe it's still true, in exactly the same way that I always did, in the same way that line works in the play, recurring even in the worst times.  We're lucky to be alive at any time - there's still so much good in the world, people to love, and work to do.  ("Joy is deliberate.")  And Eliza's pulling focus for a sec to be HEY GUYS ISN"T THIS SO MUCH FUN, before ceding it (joyfully, too, imo!) to Angelica's Things To Do!

Also the particular choreography of the way they three of them spin almost-in-place but trading places?  I can't even figure out what it is, but I'm obsessed with it permanently.

“Farmer Refuted"

* The way that Laurens, Mulligan, and Lafayette all cheer Alex on, and maybe try to restrain him a little, but mostly just cheer him on, is both super fun to watch, and even more fun if you have shipping goggles, so it turns into LOOK HOW GREAT OUR BOYFRIEND IS.  Fun!  I'm just saying.  Come for the story about ambition, stay for the compersion.

Also I would like to note with appreciation Laurens' arm around Aaron Burr at the start of this song, as well as his approach to Burr at the start of "My Shot" - like, dude, he totally had a thing for Burr before he met Alex, but Burr was Not Having it, too hotheaded!  Idk it just amuses me that's all.

And notice how Alex waits to jump in till he has his reply READY~, he's mile-a-minute, yes, but he takes the time he needs to PREPARE for that.

“You’ll Be Back”

* J. Groff is the one original cast member I didn't see, when I went to see the play live, and he is Really Delightful here.  Great play of the madness, the pouting, the playfulness that's actually danger, etc.  Only thing is that I always feel like those "da da da da" choruses sound like they ought to have a classic chorus line kick!  But you couldn't do that with a single person, it would just look ridiculous, and the single-ness vs. ensemble-ness of King George works so well for thematic reasons… but is it still ridiculous to say they have a chorus line kick SOUND in my head?  Because they do.

“Right Hand Man”

* I just love so much how they create an action scene in a song!!!  You might think it wouldn't work, but it DOES, all you need is a few lines describing the back-and-forth progress of a battle.  Just enough.

Why does Washington send Burr away?  You really can't tell!  And I think that works, that ambiguity, no one knows - Burr certainly doesn't know, so that feeling of unfairness festers.  But sometimes you're just not what someone wants, and I think history backs that up too…

That whole little sequence of "how come no one can get you on their staff" (it's one of those lines where the double entendre does really good work, cause WHAT IF he was saying that, right), from Hamilton asking "have I done something wrong, Sir," to making that Decision, with the chorus rising shouting in the background, "I am not throwing away my shot," but would taking the pen be taking the shot or throwing it away - it's the most fraught thing in the musical so far!  And that's a huge part of why I love this musical SO DAMN MUCH, in addition to the way it creates its own vernacular, the complex personal relationships, etc., is how the story of ambition and Doing The Work, is put above everything else.  A promotion with ambiguous risks and rewards Is the most fraught thing in life… the hardest decision to make… I love.  And how Alex wants to fight, and also he's wary of being under command in this particular way, but the moment, the very moment he takes the pen he's charging ahead nonstop again.  "Write to Congress, tell 'em we need supplies," of course all the work he does here is over-simplified, it'd have to be to fit in any way, but… getting support out of Congress was actually one of the more challenging aspects of the war, and something Alex worked on a lot!

Also I love the random shoulder-clasp between Alex and Laurens right before Washington announces Alex as his right-hand man, precisely because it's so seemingly purposeless, like… it's a congrats, man?  Sure.  But also we just have to touch each other at least once a song, it's like, required.  Thank <3.

And overall this whole number, Washington's entrance, etc., and… really just the whole play!  Yeah it's genuinely Quality, it's layered, you can talk about technical or literary aspects, but watching for the first time in A While and just being carried along by the spectacle as much as the story?  It's so Drama, so Extra, it's great.

... and this is only the first third or so of the first act, ha.  To be continued in another post.  Perhaps.

[metalandmagi]

Hogwarts House Anime Recommendations: Slytherin

 Hello again!

It’s time for some more Hogwarts house anime recommendations! I was going to wait to work on this, but since it’s the 20th anniversary of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone, I thought it would be a good time to post this one.

Hufflepuff recs

Ravenclaw recs

Gryffindor recs

This time it’s going to be some Slytherin anime recommendations! I tried to keep it varied in terms of genre, but a few are a bit similar in their descriptions. Anyway I think some of the most important traits that embody the Slytherin house are ambition, cunning, deceptiveness, and determination to reach one’s goals. So here we go!

1. Neuro: Supernatural Detective, aka Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro

This anime focuses on a high school detective named Yako Katsuragi who is famous for solving every single case that is brought to her attention. However, it is actually her “assistant” Neuro Nougami who solves the cases and has her take the credit for them. Why? Because he is a literal parrot demon from another dimension who actually physically eats mysteries. Since he’s already eaten every mystery in the demon world, he’s moved on to Earth’s mysteries and has promised that he will help Yako solve the mystery of her father’s death. 

This anime seems like the retro, more colorful, not British relative of Black Butler….even though Neuro came out only about a year earlier. It’s both hilarious and dramatic at the right moments, and I recommend watching only a little at a time as most of it is very episodic. But Neuro himself is a great example of a Slytherin, never really doing something out of the goodness of his heart, but willing to make bargains and then turn on someone as soon as he needs to. He’s extremely entertaining to watch, and my dream crossover anime would be Neuro and Sebastian with their respective charges teaming up to solve a mystery despite the time period differences….either that or competing against each other to see who can solve a mystery first.

2. Girlish Number

This anime follows the voice acting career of the young newcomer Chitose Karasuma and her various co-workers and her quest to become famous without actually having any acting talent and not working to get better. It’s mainly a slice of life story about a very conceited, annoying girl trying to become a “famous voice actor” (as if that’s not an oxymoron). And it’s hilarious!

This show proves that you don’t need to have a traditionally likeable or perfect main character to actually be entertained and want to watch her go about her business. Chitose is very frustrating because she is a total asshole, but that’s why she’s so interesting to watch. She deserves all the bad things that happen to her, and even though she does grow somewhat throughout the series, she’s still the same person deep down by the end of the show. Furthermore, not only is she a total Slytherin, but several of her co-workers appear to be as well! This anime showcases many different kinds of Slytherins that steer away from the traditional “villainous asshole” stereotype. All of the girls have their own goals and personalities, but at their core their ambition is what drives them as characters. They can be standoffish or put on a fake personality in front of others, but overall they are not bad people. It’s a very different type of show to recommend for Slytherins, but it’s a good one nonetheless.

3. Monster

This is another anime that is a bit difficult to describe briefly and vaguely because it is so complex and detailed. Essentially, it is about a surgeon named Kenzou Tenma, who one night chooses to save the life of a young boy named “Johan” rather than operate on the town’s mayor. This decision ends up haunting him for years to come, because that boy basically turns out to be the Antichrist he is suddenly surrounded by mysterious murder cases with all signs pointing to Johan.  

I’m going to be honest here; I have not finished this anime, like not even close. BUT I really want to, and even less than 20 episodes in, I can see it is a great Slytherin anime. I feel like Tenma can sometimes toe the line between Gryffindor and Slytherin, but Johan is very much a Slytherin. While Tenma is the embodiment of determination, Johan is cunning and that dark sort of cleverness personified. This show is amazing at creating a psychological thriller vibe that makes you want to know what happens around every turn. Johan himself is one of the best anime villains I’ve ever seen, both utterly terrifying and eerily calm at all times with no real motivation other than to watch the world burn from above. At least, that’s the motivation from my point in the series. This anime is a classic that I am surprised isn’t talked about more with its masterful use of build up and detailed plot that takes place over many years. It reminds me a lot of Death Note, but with older characters that have less concrete motivations. And speaking of Death Note….

4. Death Note

I HAD TO! THIS IS THE MOST SLYTHERIN ANIME OF ALL TIME! HOW COULD I NOT INCLUDE IT? I DON’T CARE IF IT’S POPULAR, I DON’T CARE IF EVERYONE HAS ALREADY WATCHED IT! IT’S JUST THAT APPROPRIATE!

This is my favorite anime of all time, and it’s been that way for about 10 years since I first saw it. Yes it’s very flawed, but I could not make a Slytherin recommendation list without putting in this freaking anime. In case anyone is newer to anime, lives under a rock, or just hasn’t watched it for whatever reason, (stop what you’re doing and go watch it right now) this anime is about a highschool boy named Light Yagami who finds a notebook that was dropped by a shinigami. He eventually finds out that this notebook can kill people 40 seconds after writing a person’s name. Essentially, he starts off wanting to use the death note to make the world a better place, killing off dangerous criminals and so forth. But it is clear from episode one that this kid is not right in the head, and really wants to use it to basically become a god and control the world. He is pursued by the greatest detective in the world, who goes solely by the name of L. An epic psychological mystery thriller ensues.

I believe this is the most Slytherin anime to ever Slytherin. I might be throwing myself under the bus here, but I strongly believe that all three of the main characters, meaning L, Light, and Misa are hard core Slytherins. Light is the most obvious, but I can also make an argument for L and Misa. L is revealed several times to not be a really “good” person. He constantly lies about everything, from the percents he spits out to the gravity of certain situations and their possible repercussions. And Misa can also be cunning and very deceptive when she wants to be and is extremely determined to aid Light in any way possible because it helps her overall goal of being with him. Even going beyond episode 25- which seriously people you have to watch the whole freaking series if you want a good grasp of the anime and it’s overall conclusion- I even think Mello and Near are Slytherins. Yes, I’m in the minority and actually like the entire series (not just the first 25 episodes), but the way the story unfolds and all the characters interact is just dripping with deceptiveness and cunning plans that will keep you glued to the screen. I believe it’s the ultimate Slytherin anime.

5. Baccano!... And Durarara!!

What’s this? Another double recommendation? Yes, because I figured these two fit pretty well together considering they apparently take place in the same universe. Again both of these are very detailed and heavy plot oriented anime, so they’re a bit difficult to describe vaguely. These are also two shows in which I much prefer the dub over the subbed version. They’re both great, but I like having it dubbed for the sake of keeping character voices and narration sorted out.

With Baccano! I like the way it comes up when you google it: “A fantasy caper involving alchemists, gangsters and immortality is spread over several decades” except that I’d say it takes place in America over several timelines rather than just decades. Overall this anime tells the story in a very circular fashion, and it definitely is not something you’ll just want to have on in the background. In my own words...it’s about a bunch of wacky characters, some of whom are immortal, who do a bunch of stuff in the 1930s. It involves a train, gangsters, and multiple costume changes. But seriously it’s a great anime, and if you need to be convinced to watch it, just check out the opening song.

Durarara!! is very similar, in the sense of it’s style of storytelling being very circular, focusing on the POVs of multiple characters and being overall very confusing to watch the first time through. However, this anime takes place in modern day Ikebukuro and the timelines generally do not go between several years. Durarara!! is about….well a lot of people...but mainly about a mysterious “biker” named Celty who spends the series looking for her head. Yes her literal head. She is headless. And she’s awesome. Again, it involves many wacky characters, gang fights, otakus, mythical creatures, and urban legends of the big city life. Both of these shows are great examples of Slytherin ideals, not necessarily because of the characters’ houses (although there are definitely a few good Slytherins in there) but because of the actual atmosphere and deceptiveness laced throughout the stories. The characters are cunning, suave, villainous and heroic alike. Overall, they simply show that people are flawed. There can be some really screwed up characters out there, but at the end of the day, everyone has their own motivations and ambitions, and some people are not afraid to step on others to get what they want while also trying to be good friends.

+6 Bonus Tokyo Babylon

I also wanted to mention Tokyo Babylon, in case anyone hasn’t seen it. It’s sort of cheating, because this is actually a series of OVAs based on the CLAMP manga, but I thought I should put it in here anyway. It is another supernatural mystery/detective story that will rip your heart out in the end. The characters are very gay and also very Slytherin-esque. Against popular opinion, I would wager that the main character Subaru is an interesting example of a Slytherin, especially in the manga, in which he will flat out lie to people in incredibly emotional situations in order to do what he believes is the right thing. I wanted to include it because I thought that it shows how even sweet cinnamon rolls like Subaru can be cold and calculating when they need to be.

So those are just a few Slytherin house anime recommendations. I hope those are interesting for some people, and happy 20th anniversary of the book that started it all. 

[shslenergytransferspecialis-blog]

45 development q’s or w/e

TW for car accident (mention?) and death (mention?)

also uh. fetish talk? discussion? mention? i’m not sure what to classify that as

I said I’d redo this after endgame like cue and farren but unlike cue I did not do this in advance whoops

if a question is bolded that means there’s NEW INFO WOWIE

1. Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Nah. *typically makes his OCs only children so he doesn’t have to develop siblings bc he’s way too lazy*

2. What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

It was good! I mean I don’t really have anything else to say about it, but they were close.

3. What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Same as above tbh

4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

Yes. Holly. (And for that reason maybe Michiko but idk)

New: okay so. shit I guess I’m just gonna dump the big spoiler in this question right here.

Masashi has symphorophilia. He is sexually attracted to staging and watching disasters. This is ultimately the reason he got into his talent of making rube goldberg machines.

anyway. he discovered this after witnessing his parents’ car accident that ultimately led to the end of their lives. and yeah he told holly at some point about his parents so.

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

In-game, usually just his ID card. Outside of the game, other than essentials like ID, wallet, etc. he carries mints around.

6. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

Yeah. (”What are they?” shhh)

New: i mean. disaster.

7. Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

Tbh I don’t think Masashi would ever classify any dream as a “nightmare.” So… no.

New: due to his symphorophilia and how Masashi handles things, he wouldn’t ever consider anything a nightmare because anything bad would still be... well, enjoyable for him.

8. Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

I mean… probably. But there’s no specific event in his backstory with this subject so your guess is as good as mine.

(”Corey these are the worst answers ever” LISTEN, I’M SORRY,)

New: Masashi’s probably fuckin killed someone due to How He Is but I never created any specific moments like that in his backstory, so,

9. Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

Yes. It’s higher now.

10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

He typically wears “more” clothing but he’s not more comfortable with that. He’s indifferent, he’ll wear whatever.

11. In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

Masashi doesn’t really… get afraid. I mean he would have during his childhood but again, no specific event.

He’s definitely experiencing something in-game that could… potentially be classified as making him “afraid” but spoilers. And it’s not really related to the mutual-killing biz.

New: Here I mean before discovering his fetish, but again, nothing personally developed by me. ha ha ha I suck at developing ocs okay- 

As for the second part, uh... I honestly can’t remember what I was referring to LMAO

but I can definitely say his feelings for Holly have made him “afraid”, at least in some sort. he’s never actually cared for anyone and he knows that he won’t be afraid to hurt her even though he cares for her, because hurting someone he cares about? delightful. but yeah he’s also rational (I mean in some cases) and doesn’t want to do that to someone he cares about, he just... knows he would.

12. In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

he always calm

13. Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

Not at all.

14. Does your character remember names or faces easier?

… Both. Neither one easier than the other.

15. Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

Both/yes? For spoiler reasons unfortunately.

New: people with money and material possessions tend to hold power and are looked up to. and if people are looking up to him he can manipulate them in the name of disaster ahyuck. so yeah he wants money and whatnot

16. Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

Happiness. That ultimately drives everything he does.

New: Sating his fetish drives everything he does.... which is his happiness, as unfortunate and awful as that is.

17. What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

One of those toy piano things.

18. Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

I’d say either, but in-game points to ambition.

19. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

Ha ha ha spoiler question. Yes, yes it has.

New: Honestly all the modified questions should be very predictable for you now. his biggest flaw is his lack of empathy and actually caring about anyone due to his symphorophilia. so he tends to just have his fun with people before doing something stupid. ...actually this still applies to the very rare case he actually does care about someone, like holly, because he’ll still do something stupid eventually.

20. In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

Masashi would just make observations rather than compare himself to someone, although the times he ever would compare himself to others would be for both self-validation and self-criticism… for spoiler reasons.

New: if someone is well-respected and trusted, Mash is going to Copy The Shit Out of Them... because he wants to gain trust from people. ...I didn’t do this in game because I’m a moron but. y’know

21. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

…He wouldn’t really care either way.

22. What does your character like in other people?

Spoiler question.

(”Corey how is that even possible for this one” HEY I’M TRYING OKAY)

New: Masashi doesn’t really “““like”““ people, so what he likes to see in other people is naivety and gullibility and... y’know. things that make it easy to manipulate them. thanks

Holly is... complicated and deserves her own post. even if it isn’t long-winded, especially because it’s me we’re talking about and I don’t go in-depth with anything

23. What does your character dislike in other people?

See above.

New: people like Yuka who are very wary of others and not willing to put trust in like anyone. (sorry Yuka you were the first example to come to mind i love her tho)

24. How quick is your character to trust someone else?

See above, even though that probably gives away the answer to this one in some manner.

New: He doesn’t really... “trust” people? but like he isn’t wary of them... he’ll go along with a lot of things. If people screw him over, well.. he’d enjoy it. Ugh

25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

He’s very quick to suspect someone else, but only because it doesn’t change his opinion of them. Like… he doesn’t care. As usual.

26. How does your character behave around children?

Same as around anyone else, really. Polite. Agreeable. Nice. hhhhh

27. How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

It’s kinda situational depending on who’s confronting him. In most cases he’d just try to defuse the situation/appease the person. In the other cases he’d just instigate them further and generally be a smug asshole oops.

28. How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

Slow. Masashi’s a noodle, he won’t resort to physical violence unless, somehow, he’s absolutely certain he’d prevail. …I really can’t see that situation happening in a normal 1v1 type confrontation.

29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

Being a musician à la piano (hi Ayato). It did not come true, obviously.

30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Uh, pretty much nothing.

31. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

Anywhere with a person/people that trust him.

32. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

The opposite of the above, I guess? But like… it’s hard to answer this and the one above like I want without spoiler so… next.

New: AGAIN, ANSWERS ARE VERY PREDICTABLE NOW I’M SURE. It’s not possible for Masashi to feel uncomfortable... I mean, like, it is, but he’d most likely be enjoying whatever the hell is happening, so... paradox, dude.

33. In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

Unless the criticism is coming from a select few people, he won’t give a shit about it and would just blow it off/ignore it.

34. Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

He’d stop and reevaluate whatever the situation is, and either keep trying the same solution/method after minor adjustments or move on depending on what he feels is best.

35. How does your character behave around people they like?

Less stiff/formal. (only slightly)

36. How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Hard to say. Masashi doesn’t really “““dislike”““ people.

37. Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

Status, I suppose.

38. Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

Is both possible

39. Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

I wanna say no but I guess it’s always possible, especially if he was doing something incredibly ridiculous for a Rube Goldberg machine. Clearly not affected by it in the event that it happened anyway.

40. How does your character treat people in service jobs?

Respectfully. … Not much else.

41. Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

…Mostly the former, but he’s not, like… spoiled/stupid about it.

42. Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

Naw.

43. Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

Alright I’m dumb does this mean like Mash depending on someone or someone depending on Mash?

If it’s him depending on someone, no.

If it’s someone depending on him…… does Holly count-

44. How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

Extremely easy, yes definitely.

New: Again, if saying “I love you” helps him gain more points/trust/whatever with someone, he has no problem saying it. And he never means it.

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

Nothing. He’ll cease existing, that’s the end, whatever. It doesn’t scare him, no.