#(and yes I'd be very interesting to know your take on her older stuff!)
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Okay in light of all these mental health affecting relationships conversations I feel I can share a bit of the messy friend group story I sent you an ask about last week. It's a decently big group of people, and there's one married couple that has a kid. One party in that marriage is addicted to gambling, and it's so bad that he owes money to a dozen different people and it all totals a large amount. He's had this issue for a while according to other people in this group, and his wife has threatened to leave him before if he continues. He lies to her about borrowing money and taking out payday loans and all that stuff. He asked to borrow money from me, before I knew about his issue. He said he was in a tight spot and needed food for their toddler and I was happy to help. Only to learn he actually used his kid as an excuse to spend money on gambling, which pissed me off. So I talked to a few people in the group and that's how I learned about the gambling history. I said I was gonna tell his wife so they could sort it out and people begged me not to because they were scared it would be her last straw and she'd finally leave. The people closer to him organized a literal intervention, and then he finally fessed up to his wife, promising to stop gambling. Except it seems to have been her last straw indeed, but she's not looking to leave him. She's looking to get back at him by cheating now. And the way I know this is because one of the people at the intervention told me she said so. She said if he can keep making terrible mistakes like that for years now, not trying to improve, he's checked out of the marriage because he doesn't care, so why should she? And she's been looking for someone to sleep with since then. The same person later received explicit texts from her talking about what she wanted to do with this person in bed. She unsent the messages but the person says they saw the messages in their notifications as they arrived before she unsent them. When they asked her about the messages she started apologizing profusely saying it was a lapse in judgement. But this person, who, again, was close enough to the husband to organize an intervention to help their marriage, didn't say a word about the texts to the husband. So how much help do they want to provide is what I'm wondering. When they told me about it I just said to be careful, or they might end up in a situation raising the kid too. I don't think they understood what I was trying to say tbh. I'm not even sure why I know all this personal info about people I'm not close to. I can't go to the husband with hearsay accusing his wife, and I don't know why the person that has the firsthand accounts hasn't done so already tbh.
So yeah I agree with the people saying it's mean to share such personal info with millions of people that will dissect every word. It's weird and off putting at best. It's also why I think she's not talking about Joe and his potential mental health in the song, but it's another song about the label stuff. She was carrying the label to success, to be worth so much in the end, she pulled out new songs and ideas and marketing strategies every time the label was drifting down, she (her albums) was (were) going down with the ship in spite of the quiet resentment because she's was the only one making the label stand out, unlike other labels that have a ton of big stars signed to them. The "how much sad did you think I had in me" and "you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days" to me sound like the label was asking her to keep writing breakup songs even when she wanted to write other happy stuff, or explore other stories and ideas, just because they thought they figured out the formula for success. I think it may have been this way ever since she wanted to call Speak Now Enchanted. A heartbreak song vs a song about falling in love. If you'd like (albeit it's controversial) I could write up what I think might be older songs about this stuff later, I have to go work now lol
#Anon I am REELING this is so messy 😭 😭#you ask for the tab*#(and yes I'd be very interesting to know your take on her older stuff!)
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Looking at your past art has me really loving your drag king Natsumi, do you have any more thoughts on them? I'd love to hear them. Also just your genderbend ideas in general. They are very interesting!
for future reference, here is where i drew some drag king natsumi + sapphic ottosuba :) i definitely plan on making more genderbend au content in the future thats for sure! :o i have another older art post on this here also (i am. too lazy to find it rn but its there somewhere!!) but i have some in depth thoughts about fembaru for sure yes :3 ty for finding my genderbend ideas interesting!! :D !! id be happy to talk about them more :o
im gonna start with outward design stuff / gender presentation first!! :D bc in my head, afab subaru probably looks almost exactly the same. in general, canon subaru’s most likely at least a little androgynous (and i think he probably is judging off of how much he passes as the opposite sex!!), and we know hes got his dad’s spiky black hair and his mom’s mean eyes and general facial shape, has a long torso, that sort of thing, so i think afab subaru would look similar :o
plus i like to treat fembaru as basically just the mirror/foil/inverse of canon amab subaru anyway, so yep natsumi schwartz is gonna be her male persona!! canon amab subaru was mistaken as a girl when he was a child, and he also went to high school (iirc it was high school but at the very least he was about the same age he is during arc 1) for three days as natsumi yes and passed for three days. iirc he would put on the girl’s uniform and wig and stuff on the way to school and out of his parents’ view and then put on the male uniform and take off the wig before he got home!! plus you know he’d generally practice makeup most likely and wig styling and all sorts of things in private.
so definitely afab subaru is doing similar stuff but in the opposite direction now—looking more masc and presenting as a boy. while amab subaru can put on and take off a wig, in my head, afab subaru would probably have to have shorter hair. so one day she just got a haircut thats short enough to where she could style it masculinely but longer enough to where it could still be kinda considered feminine enough!!
im not 100% sure how to draw her hair yet but in my earlier post and a few of my sketches it kinda looks like either a long mullet/wolfcut or a messy bob :3 i think you could probably say that her hair looks more like a wacky bob when shes more feminine and a wolfcut when shes styling it more masculinely?
(^^ my take on fem wrathbaru is here also LMAO)
i also base my fembaru design off of canon natsumi!! with the side bang (though i sometimes draw it on the wrong side akdnd)!! meanwhile fembaru’s male natsumi would have canon amab subaru’s hair :) (which you can see in my earlier post as well!!)
(i like this illustration actually <3)
i also like to hc that on top of subaru wanting to look and act more like his dad in canon, he did also kinda want to resemble his mom when hes presenting more femininely :o also for genderbend aus it depends on whether you ONLY want to genderbend subaru or if you wanna genderbend everyone along with subaru too, that sort of thing. i like to play with both possibilities :o
but in general, i like the idea of subaru either way trying to honor both her mom and dad. maybe to subaru her mom is what an ideal woman should be perhaps, and her dad is the ideal man, bc subarus parents are her biggest role models, so she tries to emulate both at different points in her life. she tries to be the perfect soft sweet girl like her mom and it doesnt work. she leans into being a bit of a delinquent and it doesnt work. then she cuts her hair and learns to present more masculinely and tries to copy her dad only to fail again. :((( then she gets isekaied……
i feel like afab subaru might get a bit more shit for getting into trouble too :(( or for being too loud. shes not very traditionally ladylike, i think!! boys will be boys and of course your daughter takes after you, kenichi, but dont you think shes a little too rough around the edges now?
anyway otherwise in general, i also like the idea that over the course of each arc in the fantasy world, subaru grows her hair out!! and once its long enough she can put it into a ponytail like her mom again :,)))
(male rem is here too <3)
also i like to give fembaru the maid dress instead of the butler outfit!!! probably not with the garter and stuff but 😭😭 its a pretty dress and fembaru should get to express herself both masculinely and femininely :3 in my head, i think subaru would be shy bc AGHH THIS DRESS IS SO REVEALING THERES NO WAY ID LOOK GOOD IN THIS IM NOT PRETTY AT ALL and rem and ram (genderbent or not) are probably like nonsense just try the dress. its your uniform to work here. and subaru does and huhhhh. maybe i dont look half bad ? :,) (bc of course subaru’s insecurities either present themselves the same or slightly different when genderbended). and of course when rem and ram warm up to subaru eventually ram can be like “you dont look as bad as i thought youd look” or something and rem can be like “subaru-kun youre very beautiful anyways!!!! <3”
and also i do think subaru would cut her hair a bit again or style it different for natsumi adventures later in arc 7 <3 just to have that symmetry again. the situation probably might go a little different but yep this is how id handle it 👍
and of course you can give subaru the canon natsumi hair bow sometimes when shes feeling fancy :3
OKAY and now im gonna talk about more character stuff!! lets talk about subarus whole thing with isekai and genre savviness and all that.
one of canon subaru’s many many Many parts making him up as a character and making up his story in general is a deconstruction of the isekai genre!! power fantasy and characters being cardboard cutouts for the male mc to triumph without a struggle—that sort of thing. but afab subaru is a female lead now, and female isekai is different.
id have to do way more research into this and watch more female isekai and shoujo and stuff (ive been Really wanting to watch im in love with the villainess…… someday i will…..). buuut from what ive noticed so far it seems like for male lead isekai the fantasy here is the Power and Prestige, but female lead isekai’s fantasy seems to be the Romance!! not that you cant have OP abilities in female lead isekais and not that every isekai is 100% the same of course. but that seems to be the common tropes from what ive seen so far? male isekai protags have girls throwing themselves at him as trophies, female lead isekais have their male romantic interests and the evil evil villainesses are defeated somehow and perfectly out of the way <3 the fantasy is that youll be loved by The One—the perfect boy(s) <3
and i think amab subaru is less likely to check out much female lead isekai but i think itd be fun if afab subaru would probably focus on female lead isekai but also a bit on male lead isekai as well!! she wants that absolute path to glory AND love. (and ahahhahahaha please ignore the gazillion ikemen anime figurines in her room hahahahahhahhahahahah AND DEFINITELY IGNORE THE SILVER HAIRED ONES. ESPECIALLY THE ONLY GIRL FIGURINE SHE HAS THATS BEEN GATHERING DUST UNDER HER BED—)
but also bc i think amab subarus more likely to go nah i wont look at girly media while maybe afab subarus like godddddddd i want instant OP abilitiessssssssssss and godddddddd i want hot girls around m—WHAT. WHAT. WHO SAID THAT WHO SAID THAT—
anyway so subaru gets isekaied and shes like SWEEETTT A NEW BEGINNING AWAY FROM NOT BEING ABLE TO MEET EXPECTATIONS HAHAHAHAHA IM THE ISEKAI PROTAG!!! THIS IS AWESOME!!! (is about to get her shit rocked). and shes like ooooh do i have any abilities (nope) and oooohhhhhh shit do i have a villainess. AM I THE VILLAINESS???? no way right. anyway lol wheres the ikemen who’ll ill marry one day. the ikemen that falls in love….. with a commoner……… like myself teehee… and they get married…… and the villainess is CONQUERED….
anyway so what im saying is. ………….fembaru is a femcel. AND a pick me. AND a disaster bisexual. you could practically imagine a vine boom after each of those.
i think the biggest most important to me with genderbend aus is keeping the humanity of the characters the same the best i can!! and fembaru is STILL subaru, of course shes fucking cringe!! of course shes got a heart of gold but its under layers of cringe!!! of course shes a nerd who doesnt have any friends at first and trips and stumbles through all the shit being thrown her way!!
also if male subaru is bi then so is fem subaru okay. we’re equal opportunity here. and also amab subaru has issues with his masculinity and uhhhh slight things with women (see: his boob comments in season 1…….. subaru i love you but cmon man). so. afab subaru i think has got a terrible case of internalized misogyny / homophobia / PROBABLY SOME COMPHET TOO LMFAO 😭😭
i think general plot beats (whether its only genderbending subaru or genderbending everyone) goes mostly the same but again, slight differences. im gonna go with only subaru being genderbent atm bc thatd have more differences i think :o
yes ok so subaru’s gonna see reinhard and go GASPPP oh my god. pretty ikemen. ohhhhhh oughhhhh hes so pretty. hes clearly main lead material… ohhhh what do i do ive never talked to people in so long and hes so PRETTY FUUUCKKKKK BUT I DONT WANNA BOTHER HIM EITHER AND PUT HIM IN DANGER. um um um um mmumimimm HE CLOSED THE DISTANCE BETWEEN US TOO???? what the hell what the fuck what the fuck shit shit um think THINK SUBARU THINK YOU HAVE CHARM RIGHT?? YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU CAN CHARM A HOT GUY. ARGGHHH— *explodes*
but also subaru sees emilia and gets that “do i wanna be her or be with her” feeling 😭😭 bc emilias so….. cute…. pretty… and NICE TOO?? WITH A FUN PERSONALITY??? SHIT SHES GOT EVERYTHING!! she went out of her way to save me 🥺🥺 and im just dragging her down 😔😔 BUT FUCKKKK I HATEEEE HOW GOOD SHE IS. and then :,)))) theyre both dying in the warehouse… and the first time subaru feels the touch of another girl in a more intimate light is her and emilia holding hands as they die…………….
SO YEAH THEN SUBARU RBDS :,,)))) so like. do you get what im saying. emisuba and remsuba and satella are subaru’s first sapphic heartbreaks and heartaches. muahahaha!!!! insert more evil laughter here!!!! bc since subarus a girl her relationships with emisuba and remsuba are definitely gonna be perceived (both by other people and rem emilia subaru) more so as friendships first and foremost.
so….. subarus getting the codependent homoerotic teenage friendship bright and early HAH. but i cannot blame her!! i too would go insane if i was put in a new unfamiliar world and i met this cute girl i was both jealous of and a little into and then we both died and the last thing i felt was searing pain and her soft fingertips!!! i too would go insane if i thought this maid was my friend but then she tortured me and—and—
but yeah you know how amab subaru has his whole weird complex bromances with reinhard and julius and otto?? now itll be like that but with emilia (the julius and reinhard…) and rem (the otto….). emilias the girl subaru’s having “do i wanna be her or be with her” weird rivalry shit with (subaru’s internalized misogyny probably also adding to this bc Obviously theyre rivals) and rem’s the girl who brutally betrays subaru personally (worlds worst homoerotic teenage friendship breakup of all time 😭😭) but then she later becomes subaru’s loyal best friend???? crazy shit.
and like emilia and rem are totaaally villainesses in subaru’s way (except emilias sweet af and misjudged by the entire world and subaru doesnt have the heart to fight rem and also shes chugging copium and trying not to think about failed loops. or about her gay feelings). toxic yuri is toxic yuri-ing. subaru doesnt wanna be explicit about it….. emilia isnt sure of her feelings other than stuff like caring a lot abt subaru… and rem is. Rem. so theyre all in gay situationship limbo HAH.
also as an afab person too rip subaru for also having periods while the whole world is ending on repeat 😭😭 LMFAOO. im sure theres medieval fantasy remedies though (and rem is 1000% spoiling subaru on her period)
also no one can tell me that echidna and rem WOULDNT still be into subaru as much as they are in canon. subaru regardless of gender fascinates echidna and her greed. subaru regardless of gender is someone rem will grow very very attached to. and if anything, rem would get way more bold with afab subaru.
bc the thing with female relationships is that i feel like theres a higher level of intimacy that you gotta go to for it to be considered more romantic or homoerotic. with guys it could be like holding hands and other people might be like WOAH THATS GAY, but if girls do the same thing its like aww youre such good friends. i think rem would take advantage of her and subaru being the same sex and she’d probably keep trying like “hey um um wanna cuddle together?? in the same bed?? and bathe together teehee?? i can help do your hair and dress you up? and make lots of cute dresses for you ? :) <3 🥰 and i can even massage your bo—I MEAN YOUR BACK. YOUR BACK!!” or it’ll be like. rem gets a little too happy that her and subaru’s periods get synced up or something 😭😭 shes Not Normal (and unfortunately subarus probably a little too into that)
also unfortunately the other time a girl touched subaru intimately was satella squeezing her heart :(((( and hahahah between that and rem and emilia and later echidna…. ohhhh poor subaru and her terrible toxic yuri 😭😭 her sapphic experiences and experiences with women have not been 1000% great.
but also of course subaru is so very not normal. you have the canon typical “lol every memory is a good one <3 even rem torturing me teehee <33” and also i just think itd be funny if you as an audience is lead to believe subarus jealous of emilia and rem’s boob sizes and no. no shes just gay. shes GAY.
and stuff like everything going on with julius and otto gets recharacterized too. bc subarus a girl and the guys are guys its probably gonna get perceived more both in and out of universe in a more. Quite Literally Straightforward light. esp bc subaru’s still gonna be into reinhard and julius lbr HAH.
i want arc 3 to still be an absolute fucking disaster with fembaru. let fembaru be flawed and ugly!!!! so in my au thoughts here itd be like. subaru feels jealous and threatened by lots of people. emilia, though its subsided a bit after becoming friends and after learning a bit more abt emilia as a person. but also i think subaru could feel so so jealous of the royal candidates!! esp crusch priscilla anastasia even though subaru will 1000% think theyre bitches at first during arc 3. bc theyre such strong determined women who seem way more confident than subaru herself is…. and also im sure there’ll be complex thoughts from her on felix too bc crossdressing… gender presentation… is a complex thing for subaru.
and subaru with julius is like. “get away from emilia!!!! shes mine!!! shes MY best friend that im homoerotically codependent on and obsessive of!!!! and also youre just trying to steal reinhard’s ikemen male lead spot huh!!!!! bastard!!!! (i hate that youre so pretty too)” and everything of course blows up in subaru’s face. im sure at some point in the story subaru might get slutshamed for having all these connections to people and romantic threads (especially since shes afab) but also its like. wow shes such a stupid girl lol causing a racket.
and uh being a man beating up a girl looks a little worse due to gender roles and stuff but lot of the knights are still gonna want to go after subaru and julius is still gonna want to save subaru. :,,)))) arc 3 emisuba breakup….. worlds worst sapphic breakup of all time…. and later rem will be the one that got away also :(((((
but yeah i think in general this subaru’s connections would be a little more. subtexty with the girls bc she’d be more hesitant to be explicit. but a bit more explicit with the guys bc itll be easily perceived as romantic in and out of universe. and of course subaru i think will be flustered in different ways between the girls vs guys—with the girls its OHH GOD I CANT BE GAY I CANT BE GAY NOOOOO I HAVE A RIVALRY!!! IM SO JEALOUS OF THEM!! BUT. BUT I LIKE THEM!! OHH GOD. with the guys its OH NO. GOOD LOOKING GUYS???? FML. FML!!!!! WHERES MY MAIN CHARACTER CHARM??? HOW DO I TALK TO GUYS???? JULIUS STOP MAKING FUNNOF ME!!! >:(((
also brief note on otto bc things are probably gonna go different here qkdnd. like i definitely am of course of the opinion that otto fell in love with subaru. in every damn arc in every damn main route otto side content hes getting unhinged over subaru in a way that i think makes a little less sense if you dont view it as otto just Not Being Normal About Subaru in a perhaps vaguely homoerotic way. Possibly? Maybe? Schrodinger's relationship blues.
but subarus afab now!! and ottos still a guy!!! and reinhard and julius are friendly with subaru right, but at around arc 4 things they dont show explicit romantic interest. (i think arc 5-6+ julisuba and juliemisuba would be 👀👀👀 though.) but otto?? in a universe where subaru is a girl??? well now its more acceptable for him to be grow openly head over heels for subaru. but also its probably also more pathetic bc now its probably gonna be more obviously taken by others as otto having a Romantic crush on subaru. regardless of whatever otto's feelings are.
and subarus had her arc 3 development right. but here its like. you wanted a male character who’d fall in love with you and be loyal to you and do Anything for you???? here you go!!! but also given otto is Like That and gets worse by arc 7-8 i think hes gonna seem a bit more sinister. not that canon otto with canon subaru isnt sinister but theres different connotations to male otto paired with female subaru. bc it sort of follows straight dark romance rules, right, with the cunning possessive male love interest and the female protagonist…
i doubt anything explicit would go on between otto and subaru in an au like this bc 1. otto and his avoidant attachment LMFAO and 2. subaru and her issues also and 3. subaru in main route is Not as into otto to the same extent or degree otto is HAH.
and fembarus probably like. i think itd be funny if she was a little disappointed otto wasnt a girl 😭😭😭 but then later hes weird about crossdressing and shes like why dont you wanna do it huh 👁👁👁👁 why are you weird about it 👁👁👁👁 im staring at your glass closet right now—
and also its like. “WHY ARE YOU THE FIRST BOY TO ACTUALLY BE IN LOVE WITH ME WHAT???” which i think is hilarious but i also think it could be fascinating in terms of playing with gender!! bc otto may want to be in control of things, but hes also so subservient to subaru anyway. otto and subaru are both androgynous; otto can pass as a girl and subaru can pass as a boy. if you wanna simplify things further you could also explain this as—otto is a man who looks like a woman who’s pledged his servitude to a woman who looks like a man. very intriguing imo!!
but of course ottosuba power dynamics are Always shifting over and over like a game of tug of war, but the most common thing is that otto will bow his head to subaru but under the surface ottos trying to be in charge. that sort of thing!! and the idea of male otto servicing female subaru is an idea rezero ao3 seems to like also but :,) lets just say its not fully to my taste haha :,,))
and otto is definitely not gonna beat up subaru’s ass so easily this time around bc itd look so bad and he’d know that lmfao 😭😭
but i think theres a lot of potential to play around with gender roles and such with all of these dynamics!! im very passionate about making my genderbend au ideas as wild and layered as possible :o !!
this is all my main ideas atm (and id love to draw stuff like more drag king natsumi or fem reinsuba :) ) but yes i hope this all makes sense :D !! thanks for reading this far and thanks for the ask!!
#rezero#re:zero#natsuki subaru#uhh should i tag the others….. i guess so#reinhard van astrea#julius juukulius#emilia#rem#otto suwen#ask#gender au#genderbend#save for later#i need to write or draw more stuff on this eventually :<<
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Changing Minds - Part 2
Summary: Your long time work acquaintance Nick Fowler offers to take you to a fancy fundraiser as a way of cheering you up. He insists it's only as friends but when he sees you falling into the grasp of someone he knows is no good, he might change his mind on that.
Word Count: ~1200
Warnings: Implied violence and attempted murder. Please let me know if I missed any.
A/N: Reader is an older female (late 30's +). This is part of the Garbage Men AU. I'm not yet sure if this will be a full series or just a two part story.
Part 1 -- Part 3
Series Masterlist
"Kent," Nick calls as he walks towards the two of you. "I didn't think I'd ever see you at this kind of event." Clark gives him a confused look and he continues, "you usually only attend the highest society stuff."
"Ah," Clark nods, "I agree. Normally this wouldn't be my kind of party but it's one of my niece's first charity events and I want to be supportive. Of course," he looks to you, "if these events are frequented by people like this lovely lady, I'll have to attend more."
Heat rushes to your cheeks and you bat your eyes at him, missing how tightly Nick is gripping his glass. "You're too kind," you reply.
"Nonsense," Clark gently chides. "You are far more interesting to talk to than I would've expected."
"Oh," Nick interjects, raising an eyebrow. "What did you expect?" He moves closer to you and you raise an eyebrow at him but he doesn't look away from Clark. He almost seems to be daring the taller man to say something wrong.
To Nick's annoyance Clark remains unflappable as he replies, "you know what? You're right. This has been a nice lesson in rethinking my beliefs about people based on class."
Nick bites his tongue, knowing Clark has had many years of experience in being the media's superman. Ever playing up the idea of a humble every man. Nick knows he'll have to be smart. More importantly, he'll have to be careful.
“Nick,” you get his attention, “are you okay?”
“Oh, you two are together,” Clark asks.
“Yes,” Nick interrupts before you can say anything. “The lady is here with me.”
“As friends,” you say. “It was really very sweet of Nick to ask me.” You smile up at Nick so you don’t notice the brief dark expression that passes Clark’s face. Nick definitely notices and puts an arm around your waist as an attempt at protection.
“Really, Nick, only friends?” Clark raises an amused eyebrow, “then you won’t mind if I keep talking to her.” Clark takes your hand and kisses it. Looking at you he continues, “or we could keep this conversation going over dinner?”
You giggle at the attention but Nick’s grip around your waist seems to tighten. Not entirely sure what’s going on, you tell Clark, “thank you for the compliment, Mr. Kent, but I’m afraid I have to work in the morning so I can’t stay up too much later.”
“That’s a shame,” he opined. “Where do you work? Perhaps I can take you out to lunch tomorrow.”
“Mr. Kent, you flatter me,” you giggle. “A gentleman such as yourself wanting to spend time with little old me?”
“As I said previously, you are a very interesting person to talk to.” His grin grows as he gestures to Nick, “and you have such good friends as well.”
“You and Nick know each other,” you ask.
“I was acquainted with a good friend of Nick’s,” Clark confirms. “What was his name again?”
“Eddie,” Nick almost whispers. “Eddie Brock. Reporter.”
“Ah yes,” Clark nods. “Whatever happened to Eddie? He seemed like such an up-and-comer that would take over the news industry!”
Nick speaks through gritted teeth, “he was put into a coma. Some time ago.” What Nick doesn’t say, can’t say, is that Clark was the one who had Eddie put into the coma. Eddie was making significant progress in running down leads that would take Clark down but then got beaten into a coma in a supposed “random mugging”. Nick knew better. He knew Clark knew better. But, as always, he had no proof. Nothing that would stick.
“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that,” Clark intones.
“Nick, I’m so sorry,” you consoled. “Do you want to step out and get some air? You’re looking a little sick.”
“Yeah,” he nods. “Please lead the way, sweet Lady.”
Once you’re outside you see Nick visibly relax but he doesn’t pause. He starts walking you towards the car.
“Nick,” you chide, “what is going on?”
“He’s not a good person,” he whispers. “You don’t want to get involved with him.”
“What do you mean?”
“In the car, first,” he pleads as he opens the passenger door for you. You nod and sit in the car without protest. You wait patiently as he gets the car on the road, especially when you note how white his knuckles are as he grips the steering wheel.
When he’s calmed himself down a bit he glances over at you, “I owe you an apology.”
“No,” you tell him, sternly, “you owe me an explanation.”
He nods as he bites his lip. “Kent is not the man he portrays himself to be. He is not a good person.”
“How do you know?”
“I’ve been investigating him for a long time.”
“And you’ve found proof of his not being a good person?”
“I’ve…I’ve found evidence. But nothing that I can take to the DA. Nothing I can take to the feds. Nothing that sticks.”
“What kind of evidence? What kinds of things has he done?”
“His fortune and power are built from keeping a boot on the neck of his workers. He’s funded anti-union groups. He’s greased the palms of enough politicians to keep regulations out of his steel mills. He’s paid bad people to hurt others who threaten his position, his reputation, his money.”
“And yet?”
“All evidence is circumstantial at best,” Nick admits. “The money goes through enough shell corporations that it’s impossible to link back to him. The ones he bribes are so well paid they’ll never turn on him. The ones that try to end up meeting those goons he hires.”
“You do realize this sounds a bit…conspiracy theory?”
Nick sighs, “yes. I know. Because I said the same thing to Eddie.” Your eyebrows raise at the confession. “He had even more evidence than I do and I still thought he was crazy. Thought that, at worst, Kent was just a puppet or a face for the actual power holders.”
“What got you to change your mind?”
“The medical report from Eddie’s supposed mugging. I know enough to know the signs of a professional job when I see it. The specific bones that were broken, the lack of tracks or mess at the scene. A lot of details added up to one thing: Eddie was right.”
“You realize I’m going to have to think about this for a while, right? I know you’re quite smart but this is…it’s a lot to think about.” Nick nods in understanding. The rest of the drive is spent in silence.
When you arrive at your building Nick asks if he can walk you to your building’s door. You smile gently at him and agree. He quickly gets out and opens your door for you, “gotta be a gentleman for such a lovely Lady as you.” Your smile grows and you hold his arm as he walks you to the door.
“This has been an…interesting night, Nick.”
“I definitely didn't deliver on my promise of a good night,” he sighed. “Is there any chance you’d be open to giving me another opportunity? No conspiracy theory stuff, I promise.”
“Are you actually asking me on a date? A real date?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. You know what time I get out of work tomorrow. I’ll see you then.” With that, you enter your building and head up to your apartment.
Nick feels a lot more relaxed, hoping he’ll be able to keep you away from Kent. He was so stressed earlier he failed to notice the car that was tailing him.
Part 1 -- Part 3
Series Masterlist
Tags:
@alicedopey
@rebekahdawkins
If you'd like to be tagged, please let me know.
#nick fowler x reader#mafia!nick fowler x reader#dark!clark kent#mob au#nick fowler#mob!nick fowler#nick fowler x female reader
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Wait a second what are we doing with Lu Ten in Miraculous Gaang?
Is he alive? I know he got like really sick at one point, but are we letting him live? If so, how old is he and what is his relationship to the Gaang? Because I imagine him being quite a bit older and seeing the Gaang as his much younger siblings that he has to mentor. He's probably away at university during most of the events of this, but Zuko and Azula call him in to save their hides for some of their civilian problems. Assuming he's alive
And how did he get sick? Did he like use the peacock or did he just get really ill and it woke Iroh up to the fact that he was being kind of a neglectful parent?
Also, other named kids you can use for miraculous if you want:
Song, the chick that saved Iroh from poisoning, tried to bond with Zuko over being hurt by the fire nation, and then he stole her ostrich horse
June, but she's probably a bit older than the rest of the crowd, maybe even Lu Ten's age.
On Ji, the girl that Aang talks to when he goes to Fire Nation school and consequently gets into a fight with her boyfriend Hide.
Shoji, another kid from the fire nation school, very nervous type.
Chan, the guy that Azula tries to flirt with in The Beach, and then they burn his house down.
Meng, Aunt Wu's assistant who keeps trying to flirt with Aang in The Fortuneteller, and who gets utterly blown off, only to eventually tell Aang at the end of the episode that Katara is really pretty and they deserve each other, and also gives them the cloud-reading book for their plot (because she's been stalking Aang, and HEY that's on brand for ML).
Of this selection, the only ones I have any particular attachments to are Meng and Song. I think I'd give Meng the goat if we keep your usual Dreamwalking powers, due to her fortune teller associations. Song could honestly have any of them, but I'm leaning Dog. But yeah, it's interesting that most of the Gaang's allies seem to be adults. Between the white lotus, various world leaders, and assorted other Randos, the significant adults in this show probably outnumber the significant children.
Yes! So!
We decided that since this is taking place in a Miraculous-esque Universe, a chunk of people get to live. Like, there's no war fucking up the world and we're axing the Bending (like if they had Bending on top of the Miraculous then OOF.) and also this is a modern world with better healthcare capabilities.
So yeah some people live. Lu Ten was never on the frontlines of a war. Kya never had to protect Katara from raiders looking for a Waterbender. Yue won't have to sacrifice herself to save the Moon Spirit, etc.
Not to say everything's perfect because there's going to be injuries and close calls and some of these fuckers can get killed off.
So since I can change things and let characters live, I am!
Anyway. Lu Ten!
So we're going with some kind of car accident type deal for him. He was in a coma for a few months. (During this we had the drama of Iroh falling apart with worry, Azulon 'dying', Ozai taking over the family company, and Ursa disappearing).
He's alive but has some medical problems. Mostly mobility issues. Usually in a wheelchair, though he can use a cane for short distances if needed. His hands are bad too, but he can still get stuff done.
He's a good decade older than the Gaang. Like in his mid-to-late 20s.
Between the age and mobility thing he's probably not getting a Miraculous himself (I mean the mobility isn't stopping Teo but he's the 'I'm gonna use the Miraculous Transformation to give my wheelchair jet rockets and fly' type of guy).
He's very much the older brother figure! Especially once Zuko gets kicked out.
As for the other character suggestions!
June is too old for the group, as much as I love her. Ji, Shoji and Chan never vibed with me. Song vibed with me more but we're also getting to the 'wow huh there's not a lot of kid characters that consistently appear huh?'.
Meng is actually a great idea and I love the Dreamwalker thing I'm keeping that.
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So I'm making a story now.
Blaming @lesbianoms for sorta planting this concept in my brain. This one's made for you, you wonderful human! Enjoy!
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Sweet-Tooth Manor
Pt. 1
(F/F story, semi-NSFW?? Mostly foxy stuff. EVENTUALLY but not here yet: non-fatal vore, painless digestion, reformation)
A brief, shitty synopsis of idea: young femme meets middle-aged rich classy woman, and becomes her, ah, "plaything" at home...of the voracious sort.
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Odette was enamored with this place. The atmosphere, the people, the blooming gardens spread vast and wide across the rolling hillside. It was simply breathtaking.
"You must have a very fine taste." Said a voice from nearby. Odette looked around, finding a tall, elegantly dressed older woman sitting at one of the metal dining tables outside. She sat cross-legged in a deep red dress, a cigarette between her manicured fingers.
"Oh, I don't mean to intrude, dear," she said, "I just had to tell you how much I admire your physique, your style."
"Oh, thank you!" Odette said, "I don't really dress this fancy most of the time, it's just this place is so beautiful, I wanted to look at least a little bit like I'd fit in with it..."
"Oh don't be so modest, honey, you look absolutely ravishing," the older woman said, flicking the butt of her cigarette off into the ashtray. "Come, sit."
Obediently, Odette walked over to sit with the compelling woman. She was even taller close up, more than a head higher even while they were sitting down. And in heels of all things, too! She must've been one hell of an iconic figure in town.
"Forgive me, where are my manners. I haven't even asked your name."
"Odette," She replied, "my name is Odette."
"Oh what a lovely name. Just like-"
"Swan Lake, yes." She finished. The amount of times she'd heard that...
"All the more reason you're such a dazzle, darling. Trust me, I'd kill to be able to pull off that young, naive charm again..."
Odette smiled – a thin, humble-but-not-all-too-convinced-of-herself smile that she'd practiced giving in return to any form of compliment. The woman sitting across from her seemed to frown, noticing her cover.
"I do mean it, you know." She added, with a little smile of her own. The bright red lipstick almost made it appear devious.
'You mean which part?' Odette almost said, as she contemplated her last words. She was stopped in her tracks, however, by the way the older - and impressively tall - woman turned in her seat to look her straight in the eye.
She looked the young woman up and down: long hair tied back in a ribbon, flowery sundress with modest sleeves, and a youthful, springlike aura which seemed to surround her. Yes. She would do quite nicely, she thought. Quite nicely indeed.
"I don't usually ask this of people this soon," she began, "ordinarily, I like to have a drink or two first, let things wander where they ought to before I make any propositions. But you've..." - she made a popping sound with her lips - "...let's just say, you've piqued my interest. I admire your modesty even in your sheer beauty."
"Oh?" Odette asked, curious.
"I can see that whimsical sparkle in your eye. You long to live in this kind of a place, no?"
"it's been my dream for all my life," she said, "this village, the people who inhabit it...I am so deeply connected with it, and it means so much to me."
"So you might be open to this proposal, then, I take it?"
"What proposal?"
The older woman leaned forward on her elbows, twirling the end of her cigarette in her hand. "How would you like to stay here, in the villa, under contract of a...business venture, I'd like to offer to you?"
Odette blinked, her big brown eyes appearing to the mistress like that of a mother doe's in the woods. She was slow to respond, either thinking too many things, or none at all. Finally, she nodded softly. As though the concept was equally intriguing and intimidating.
"I'd love to be able to stay here, yes. But I'm curious...What's this of your business venture?"
"Oh come now, the evening is still so young," the woman said, "we have all night to catch up on these things, back in my quaint little hillside manor."
"Of course, yes," Odette said, smiling more genuinely now. "That sounds quite lovely, I look forward to learning about it."
"I have a feeling you'll be just suited for the job..." The woman said.
"Forgive me, where are my manners." Odette added in, "I still have not even asked your name."
The woman smiled, chuckling softly. "No worries, dear. Most people only ever refer to me as the Mistress. Sometimes theirs, sometimes not. But I like you, especially so. Mmm...I think so, yes. You can call me Edith."
The way the woman smiled, Odette was unsure whether to feel enamored, honored, or slightly unsettled.
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YESYESYESSSS i would like to go insane w you, thank you very much <3
he’s such a dilf isn’t he
GOD yeah. maybe baba has been really good at school and she's completed all her swimming lessons and idk generally has just been a really cool kid, and matty's like to you "we should get her a present"; you're like "yes. and you know, i think it's time she had her own guitar. i know she can use yours, but babe she's tiny lol she needs one she can actually play without hurting her hand", and matty's eyes just light up like "YES genius idea, sweetheart". so he brings it up to your daughter one saturday evening when they're washing the dishes, and she's so excited she nearly smashes a plate lmfao - the next morning, she barrels into your bedroom at half 7 and jumps on matty like "dad! it's guitar day! wake up!", and matty's like "right yeah ok give me a minute go and get some cereal". as soon as she's out of the room he snuggles back into you like "regretting my decision a bit now", and you giggle like "nah, you'll have the best day with her, you know that". and matty's like "yeah. what are you up to today?", and you're like "hmmm idk. maybe a little pampering day? a bubble bath sounds good"; matty kisses your neck like "mmm, sad i'll not get to see you in it", and you're like "matthew come on get your head out of the gutter", and matty's like "an impossible task when you have a wife as hot as i do" lol. and yeah, you do indulge him for a minute and make out, until your daughter shouts from the kitchen "dad! stop kissing mum and get up!" lmao - once you're both up, matty's like "how did you know we were kissing?" and she's like "because you're ALWAYS kissing", and matty shrugs like "ok yeah fair. we're just in love, though, munchkin, you'll understand when you're older", and baba winces like "no thanks" (you're like "that's my girl!").
anyway, the two of them head into london to go guitar shopping - baba runs full pelt down the street towards the shop, matty lowkey out of breath trying to keep up with her lmao (but he's grinning the whole time at how hype she is). she gets a little bit shy and overwhelmed once she's actually in though, clinging to matty's leg quite adorably as the staff (who know matty fairly well because he's a regular lmfao) ask how they can help - matty ruffles her hair and encourages her like "go on, sweetheart, tell them what you're looking for", and she clears her throat and says "i'd like a 3/4 size acoustic, please. but i don't need a beginner one cos i've been playing dad's so i'm not a beginner" (her pride is evident in the last bit, and matty has to fight to not get emotional about his talented baby lol). and the guy from the shop is really good - he leads her and matty to the correct section, talking them through some of the features of various guitars (matty crouches to her level and patiently explains a bit more about some of them too) and helping her narrow down what exactly she's looking for. he takes one down from the wall for her to try, and as she sits and automatically tests each string to see if it's tuned right the guy from the shop turns to matty like "wow, she really does know her stuff. and i didn't want to bring it out immediately and stereotype her, but we do have that exact guitar in rose pink through the back, if she'd be interested..." - matty's like "oh my god she'd love that lol. yeah, please bring it through", and as the guy goes to get it matty goes and sits with his daughter, who's placidly strumming chords with a little concentrated look on her face. he's like "will you play something for me? anything you want. just to see if you like the feel of it", and she nods and starts strumming something he soon recognises as the only exception by paramore, and he hums along to it a little bit emotionally (his baby!) - he's like "when did you learn that?", and she shrugs like "a couple of weeks ago. mum likes that song, so when i was at uncle adam's i asked if he knew the chords and he wrote them down for me. haven't played it for her yet though", and matty honest to god gets a bit teary like "that's really sweet of you, munchkin, i think mum'll love that" and gives her a little hug. anyway, the shop guy comes back with a guitar case like "how are you getting on with that one?", and your daughter's like "i like it a lot i think i want to get it", and the guy's like "well, before you take it home with you, i thought you might want to see the other colour we have it in..." - he hands your daughter the case to open, and matty gets his phone out to film just as she unzips it and GASPS like "it's pink?! dad, look! they have it in pink!" in total awe. matty giggles like "is this the one for you?", and before he's even finished speaking she's nodding frantically like "yes please can i get it please please please" - she looks so like you all excited that he wouldn't be able to resist her even if he hadn't agreed to buy her a guitar, bless her. so yeah, the guitar is bought (with a shoulder strap to match) and lovingly carried home by your daughter, but not before matty snaps a pic of her grinning as she holds it and sends it into the band fam gc (everyone is Overcome by how cute she is) and makes it his lockscreen. and maybe a week or so later, she gets another guitar-related gift from matty - a set of picks with her name on them, just like the ones the boys use onstage <3
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Hey, as someone who's entirely new to your blog, I immediately fell in love with Abel. I didn't understand Cain's name until a bit of stalking and didn't know who the hell Pacino was for the longest time(Yes, I feel stupid for not putting two and two together sooner) I soon started getting tired of stalking so like... Could you info dump on me because I would love that and ALSO I'd like to hear anything new?? I just wanted to understand things more without scrolling into the ether
Here's some info dumping romantic stuff about Cain and Abel's relationships! Not exactly what you were asking for but I hope it's fun to read!
So!! A little about Rex and Cain~!! Cain and Rex have known eachother for a long while, Rex first dropping in on Cain's universe when he was shorter and louder, and a lot more immature (he was like 22 at the time, current year he's 27). There was an instant bond between the pair, Cain was drawn to Rex; his loud mouth, his bullheadedness, his heavy, warm hand on his back. And Rex to Cain's reassurance, his generosity, his gentleness. The pair were best friends instantly, and Cain leaned on Rex for support in his every day. Rex grew close to his counterpart, and often found himself lost without him. Things got outta hand when Rex started developing feelings, strong feelings. Feelings that were overwhelming and domineering, feverish even. Cain was so...in need, so weak compared to those in Rex's mafiafell universe, and Rex was desperate to take care of him. By this time, Cain had gotten to the surface and Rex trusted humans very little, so he opted to start checking in on the older man. It was evening when they kissed for the first time, Rex leaning into Cain's skull, his hand tangled in Cain's shirt, pulling him in. But honestly, he had very little leverage on Cain's actions, and Cain gingerly was pressing back against him. The pair were locked in a battle, a tournament betwixt partners in crime. Rex almost fell over the couch that night, and they kept up most of it watching tv and leaning into each other.
And thus, a blooming romance has formed!! :D About Paciano and Abel~ >B) Abel was working at a diner at the time of Paciano's first appearance, hard working and dedicated to her path in life, she set to earn some extra money part time while she worked full time on her schooling. Her usual schedule of 5pm - 12 am bussing tables was taking place when a slender figure waltzed through the door. Paciano smelled of cigarettes and alcohol, like he had a pound of grease in his hair, and cheap, old cologne. He waltzed into the diner like he owned the place, snatching a paper off the counter top and slipped into a booth. Luckily, Abel was his waitress, carefully stepping over to the man and taking whatever he ordered down as quickly as possible. He was a fast talker, and eyed her as she went to take his menu. In fact, he eyed her the entire time he was there, like a ghoul stalking his victim, he ate slow and studied her as she worked around the diner. After that, he ate exclusively at her place of work, starting off smooth and slick, he'd ask her out. The first time, he was rejected, she stated she was hard at work on her degree, and had little time to date. The next time he asked, she blushed and laughed, waving him off. Surely someone so handsome wasn't interested in someone so...frumpy lookin... The third time was the charm. This time he brought flowers, this time he brought a promise. A check. "If you grace me with one little ol' date, I'll pay your student debt off." This was not something she could easily pass up, and the thought of paying off her brother's debt in one fell swoop was so tempting that she, with a chuckle, snatched the check, tucked it into her shirt, and agreed on a time and place.
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I've invaded your inbox to ask if you'd like to infodump about your WIPs to me! Seriously, go ahead and write an essay if you'd like to 👀 Your WIPs just sound very cool and I'd like to know more!
Hi! Thank you! Sorry for taking forever to answer!
I actually have a few different wips that I'm going to add eventually. But these are the first two I'm worried about.
Anomalous is actually an older wip that I have. It actually started very different and focused on just strange shenanigans in the town with the vampire twins as the main characters. Although, Vlad hasn't changed much except to have more depth beyond horny vampire dating a faery. The village didn't even have a name until I tore the story apart to start anew. I am a huge sucker for stories that center in a town or village that spooky scary things live in. Unfortunately those stories rarely involve anything adult or the kinds of detail stuff I like. So now I just try to write them myself. Anyways, Anomalous is my hope to have my romance and found family and supernatural drama all in one.
Now, Vlad's family isn't necessarily bad, they're not even very terrible in most regards. Vlad just has his own way of thinking and his family doesn't agree with him. They don't resent him either, there isn't any hard feelings. They both just have their own way of living. They literally just visit because the oldest of their children is finally getting married after centuries of dating. Going into the idea once I decided to focus on Vlad and Aerin I didn't want any serious over the top conflict. Drama yes, death murder slaughter no. This is suppose to be a fun while also have Vlad on the seat of his pants scared he'll be single by the time his old fashioned family leaves, if they ever do. I want to play with old fashioned vampires and supernatural town and also some getting married in there too. I also plan to try make like little bios for the characters and the town down the line when I have more time.
Originally in his back story, Vlad was suppose to have been some punk, former pirate guy obsessed with getting his vitamin D. And Aerin was his newest fling. Now I like the idea of Vlad being a punk former pirate that met the love of his life accidently and they decided to finally take the next step for the tax benefits and also that 'gross shit' called love and commitment, you know, a few centuries in. He also founded the town just so his boyfriend could have neighbors that weren't gonna chase him out of town with pitchforks and torches for being a faery.
But if there is specific things yinz are looking for about Anomalous, you know, just send me another ask. :)
The Dragon's Suitors is a much newer wip. I've been struck with the bachelor(ette) sort of tropes for a hot minute and I also love dragons. A lot of the details of this one are still in the works because it is so new. A lot of the wips outside of Anomalous are rather new for me.
Weylan, our mc here, is a cool headed pro at her job. Her father was in charge before her and made sure to teach her everything she would need to know. Now it's her turn to take the lead and keep the village safe. And as any dragon with a treasure, the only thing they could also need is a spouse. So the king himself has sent his best matchmaker as a favor to her father. She's got 5 different people looking for her hand in marriage. Basically it's a love multiple triangles except not really because she has no interest in that shenanigans.
So yeah, with it being rather new I am still going to work on the details so I can get the ideas I'm actually interested in writing. But if anyone has questions in particular go ahead and send me an ask. It'll probably help me work those details out faster!
Thank you for the ask my dear! I appreciate it greatly!
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15 Questions!~
1. Are you named after anyone?
Yes! My mother named both me and my sister after Very Popular Characters on her Very Popular Late 1980s Daytime Soap Opera. Then she named my brother after MacGyver.
2. When was the last time you cried?
bachelor party mushroom trip bath time last weekend (it was a joyous cry)
3. Do you have kids?
No, and no interest personally. I have two nieces and a nephew. My partner and I are considering fostering older kids/teens when we're in our 40s/50s but that remains to be seen.
4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Not often, and when I do it's almost exclusively purposely meant to fall Very Flat (I have been told I have some sort of sense of humor by my friends but none of us can figure it out).
5. What sports do you play/have you played?
My grandfather was convinced that since I was tall for a preschooler that I would end up as a basketball player and tried to encourage me and my sister to take up basketball as children (taking us to college games, playing with us at the local park, etc) but I ended up more of a 'scrambling through creeks before spending hours being weird at the library' kind of kid. In high school, I did enjoy dance, badminton, and field hockey when forced to do so through p.e. classes, but I'm. not sports.
6. What’s the first thing you notice about other people?
Oh yikes, it depends on the circumstances? If I'm meeting someone new at a familiar place among familiar people, usually how they interact with people that I know? What their body language conveys about a relationship or acquaintanceship, I guess. If it's an entirely new person in a neutral environment, like at work, probably still body language, but I'd be checking more for like, how nervous they are to determine what kind of tone to take with them (I worked in a government office for Official Technical Stuff and there's a lot of people who are Very Unsure about what they ~should be doing).
7. Scary movies or happy endings?
Oh, scary movies. Happy endings are great but I tend to prefer media that just coincidentally doesn't have them? (so when I *am* enjoying something that *does* have a happy ending, it's so much sweeter). However, I love being spooked and I am *very* easily spooked so like, you can find me watching horror movies from a distance in my kitchen with all the lights on, and the sound turned off during the really scary bits and I'll be like, making food to combat the terrors - having a fucking fantastic time actually.
8. Any special talents?
Good memory for things I have written down.
9. Where were you born?
California, baby!
10. What are your hobbies?
playing barbies and falling into research holes
11. Do you have any pets?
I have two cats :) They are Very Neurotic.
12. How tall are you?
13. Fave subject in school?
I mean, I really enjoyed majoring in community development (focus on urban planning, but the public engagement bits of that were really fun), but if we're talking like, high school, definitely drama. Like, yes, it was mostly just my friends and I fucking around for an hour during school and however many hours after school, but I genuinely enjoyed the academic bits of it when my teacher still pretended to give at least somewhat of a fuck before she checked out entirely in my last two years in it. Language and literature classes were usually pretty fun, especially in community college (shout out to my Russian lit course for being Wild and to that time that I took a required English class that was taught by a teacher whose background was poetry). OH AND THIS INSTITUTIONAL ECON CLASS I TOOK-
14. Dream job?
Don't believe in 'dream' jobs but in a situation where I was still forced to rely on working to survive but I could do whatever I wanted, I'd love to like just wear a bright vest and hang out on public transportation and give people information on transit routes and destinations. Please let me help the tourists. They need help.
15. Eye colour?
that fucky 'grey' color which means I can't fucking see shit when it's bright out because i'm squinting too much
Tagged by @mirrim-the-moonfaerie and @sundered-souls
Tagging: whoever wants a tag!!
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Spotlight on Captain Cobalt vs. the Sinister Scientist
Here's the cover for one of my published plays, Captain Cobalt vs the Sinister Scientist, which is available for purchase at Next Stage Press!
A vaudeville-style comedy straight out of Saturday morning cartoons. This play has 18 characters and is intended to be performed by only 2 women. Captain Cobalt is an up-and-coming superhero trying to balance her heroic deeds with her secret identity, Cyanna Conda, the lowly pet store clerk. She battles everything from giant squid monsters to cheese-themed supervillains, encountering any number of bystanders (and a love interest) along the way. The final showdown, however, is with Captain Cobalt’s nemesis, the nefarious Dr. Killington, the mad scientist who insists that SHE is the hero of the story. Captain Cobalt et. al. encourage lots of audience interaction (cheering and booing especially) along the way. The set can be as stripped-down or elaborate as the production pleases, but the most important part…all the props are bananas. (Yes, actual literal bananas. The kind that pop when you throw them.)
I'd greatly appreciate a reblog to spread the word about my play, and it's available for purchase here, $5 for a digital copy and $10 for a physical copy that you can hold in your hands and put on your bookshelf and feel so cool that you know the playwright.
Click through the Read More for a sample of the script!
(Josh, an Obnoxious Little Kid, comes onstage, playing a handheld video game/banana.)
JOSH. What are you, some kind of a stupid superhero?
CAPTAIN. No, I am an intelligent superhero. Captain Cobalt! What is your name, young...child?
JOSH. Josh.
CAPTAIN. So...how old are you?
JOSH. Old enough to know you’re a stupidhead. My mom says--
CAPTAIN. Doesn’t your mother tell you not to be rude? Or not to talk to strangers?
JOSH. MY MOM SAYS that superheroes destroy too much stuff in the city.
CAPTAIN. Any damage that I might incur is caused in the name of justice and righting wrongs!
JOSH. There’s a kid at my school named Justice.
CAPTAIN (thrown). Really?
JOSH. Yeah. (They stare at each other.) Are you...are you fightin’ an’ stuff for him?
CAPTAIN. I...yes. In a general sense. I’m fighting for everyone, so I suppose, while I fight for justice for all, I am also, yes, somewhat fighting for a small child named ‘Justice.’ Since he is part of ‘all,’ and thus, under my purview. (Josh is clearly confused.) Umbrella. Under my...yes, under my umbrella. The umbrella that encompasses all of this city, and eventually, all of the world. With my magnificent powers, I can defend all those who need defending! The older gentleman selling newspapers on the street-corner! The women waiting in line at a bank! Janitorial staff! Socialites! Troglodytes! Optometrists! Soccer moms drinking smoothies in minivans! From the nonagenarians in retirement homes...all the way to the tiny children asking rude questions of superheroes in the street. (She gestures to Josh.) All are under my metaphorical umbrella...of justice! (She poses.)
JOSH. You took Justice’s umbrella?
CAPTAIN. No, I--
JOSH. I don’t think it’s very nice of you to take Justice’s umbrella.
CAPTAIN. It’s not a real umbrella.
JOSH. Did you break it?
CAPTAIN. What? How dare you --
JOSH. Did you break the umbrella. My mom says that it’s not nice to take other people’s things--
CAPTAIN. I don’t even know this ‘Justice’ person!
JOSH. You took his umbrella.
CAPTAIN. I didn’t.
JOSH. Yes, you did.
CAPTAIN. No! I didn’t!
JOSH. Yes, you did! (He blows a raspberry, turns to go, then turns back.) Oh, and also? You smell like dead fish. (Turns to go, turns back.) Oh, and also? You look like a dead fish. (Turns to go, turns back.) Oh, and also? (He pauses. Captain Cobalt waits expectantly. Finally) I forgot what I was going to say. (He finally leaves.)
---
Read the rest of the first act for free on Next Stage Press!
Once again, I'd super appreciate a reblog, and even a follow of my writing blog if you're feeling generous and would like to see more comedic writing!
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heyo! question time!
i've noticed that in older posts, cassie has family members and friends, can you tell me more? do they know about her thing with the zodiacs? what are their relationships like with her? do they try to help her with her zodiac shenanigans or do they mainly stay out of the way?
Yes indeed! I've been chipping away at updates for the other Earth characters in terms of art, but I have enough to give you the gist at least :)
Funnily enough, I had a feeling you might ask about Cassie's family at some point, so I'd started refining their current designs because it has been a while (I'm not done yet though so here's the halfway done art for now lol)
(and old art from 2020 that I never posted lmao) Here's their ages as well if you need them: Cassie - 14 Nora - 46 Andrew - 43 Demitri - 17
Generally speaking, Cassie's family is pretty tight knit and happy, a kind of stability that becomes more and more necessary as things start to get more intense with all the star stuff! It's important to remember that Cassie was born with her star eye, so on some level her family knew that something unusual was going to happen with it eventually, even if they didn't know what at the time. The details of it were still quite the surprise once they did find out, but they each had their own ways of preparing for it or otherwise expecting it beforehand. Like her friends, they do what they can to help her, even if they're not able to directly deal with the supernatural shenanigans themselves. In many cases though, they turn out to be more useful than even they realize! Nora The pragmatic and no-nonsense mom, in stark contrast to her family of quirky dreamer types. Nora's not without her own quirks though, and despite her low tolerance for the fantastical, that doesn't mean she denies its existence either. In fact, she pays close attention to any information that she's given, even if it seems like she's not paying attention at all. She's a lot less serious than you might think, and she'd absolutely commit to a bit she didn't understand if it made her children or husband happy. She's the more detail oriented thinker between her and Andrew, and helps Cassie look at the most important stuff when trying to work out a problem, even if she herself does not understand how it all works. Or at the very least, she's able to give the most practical advice, as her world-weary attitude doesn't come from nowhere. Nora has a business job, usually something involving project management, and has a personality that one would need to survive that kind of job. She works long hours and is almost always seen with a coffee in her hand, a byproduct of her insomnia. Though the control of her anger is carefully calculated at all times, Nora is a bit of a mama bear as well, and will quite literally punch your lights out if you try to hurt her family! Cassie's moments of dry snark or sarcasm come from her, and so does a lot of her confidence in defending herself when being talked down to.
As things escalate, Nora spends more time at home to make sure that somebody is there with Cassie as much as possible, even if she can't fight the spirits for her. She worries about Cassie's safety like any good mother would, but understands that her daughter's situation is inevitable and tries to instill confidence in her instead, trusting that Cassie can handle it.
Andrew A quirky dad with nerdy interests, which lends itself well to his job as a film studies professor at a community college. If Nora is the detail thinker, Andrew is the big picture dreamer, often thinking up fantastical reasons for things or otherwise enjoying the speculative side. He approaches life with great curiosity, for better or worse! He and Nora work well as a couple for this reason, as he is able to help Nora lighten up and have fun when she needs it, whereas Nora can pull him down from Cloud Nine every so often to think more practically.
He is endlessly optimistic and cheerful, and Cassie takes after him in this regard. He encouraged Cassie's years of speculating about what the Starglass was or what it was for, often doing his own speculating as well, and they bonded over the possibilities. He worries more openly about Cassie than Nora does, but is equally as proud when Cassie shows what she can do during a spirit encounter that he witnesses.
This is him holding Cassie for the first time and, notably, her eyes are still closed here. While he was always fascinated by the implications of her star eye, he always loved Cassie for her, not her eye. He calls her "Starshine" as a nickname.
Demitri (or Demi for short) Cassie's older brother, a fact that he uses often to (playfully) joke around at her expense like most older siblings do. Unlike most siblings, however, they get along quite well. He does much to look out for her, even if the ways he does this are more casual or subtle, like giving her rides or getting her a drink at the coffee shop. When Cassie and her friends start spirit hunting at night, he will often insist on tagging along to not only give them a ride there and back, but to also not let a trio of teenage girls go into a forest or cave on their own, regardless if they find a spirit at all.
He's a laid-back artist with an interest in video games, something he and Cassie play often. His art style is influenced by graffiti and street art, something that comes up during an encounter with Chamaeleon and her gang. Though he'd be largely useless in a fight, he will still drop everything to rescue Cassie if asked, feeling some sense of responsibility as her older sibling to protect her. When cornered, he'll usually try to joke his way out of something on instinct.
-------- And now here's some info about Cassie's friends :) (with more old art lol)
These two are Cassie's closest friends, having met each other when they were 8 and forming a trio since. Here's the three of them at that age as a bonus c':
Ellie The most cowardly of the three, but this does not prevent her from tagging along purely out of care for Cassie and Leena, even if it means she'll be screaming for most of it. Bubbly and innocent in demeanour, this causes some to underestimate her, thinking she's merely airheaded. Though she'd never be able to carry a sword like Cassie does, Ellie can still be surprisingly courageous when the chips are down, even if it's sporadically. She and her family work on a farm, and that knowledge comes in handy when placating the behaviour of some of the corrupted animal spirits. When they first met, Ellie and Cassie got along quickly by virtue of having similar personalities and interests, and Ellie didn't find Cassie's eye to be all that distracting.
Leena Normally an outcast and fairly quiet overall, but bitingly sarcastic when she isn't. She cares very little about the opinions of others, though this is largely as a shield against bullying than anything else, as her interest in anything morbid or creepy made it hard for her to make friends initially. A huge fan of all things supernatural, Leena was initially drawn to Cassie purely because of her star eye, but they quickly bonded over being outcasts, albeit for vastly different reasons. Leena is very much an opposite to both Cassie and Ellie when it comes to most things, but are on the same page for the stuff that matters, at least once they were able to navigate Leena's more unusual ways of showing affection.
Leena insists on tagging along for the spirit hunting purely for the sake of something actually interesting happening in their otherwise sleepy small town, though she does deeply care for her friends in secret. Prior to Cassie's training, she was the most physically adept of the three via her skills in martial arts.
Though ultimately harmless, her friends have learned not to question her evil laughter, as Leena always seems to be plotting something. Even if that something is nothing more than planning to scare Ellie, usually with a scary story. A lot of those stories become surprisingly relevant once the spirits start appearing on Earth, at least when it comes to the rumours of their town being haunted.
#thanks for the ask!#i am very sleepy right now so i hope this is actually coherent lol#asks#tabsters#my art#my OCs#Starglass Zodiac#SGZ#long post
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if you could rewrite s1 and make santana a prominent main character from the get go, how would you have gone about her reaction to quinn’s pregnancy and their dynamic that season? there’s some potentially interesting stuff that could have gone down between those two that season but we get absolutely none of it because santana’s a background player 😭
Told myself I really need to prioritize older asks so yes, hey, hi Anon. Sorry it's been a while.
First, let's establish that what we do have in canon is largely the result of Santana not starting off as a main character. What I mean by that is her and Brittany both, nay, Brittana and Mertina all being little shits about Quinn's pregnancy on occasions like the Glee girls rehearsal scene in Vitamin D. But we understand that the point of the scene is to elevate Rachel and demonstrate that, despite her feelings towards Finn, she's the most compassionate about Quinn's situation. And you know that's well and good, but so often the only way Glee can make its point is by throwing other chs and relationships under the bus.
It becomes jarring when Brittana become main characters and the Unholy Trinity is, well, at least pretended to be a friendship trio that the two weren't there for Quinn at all during her pregnancy. It's something that annoys me personally very much. Whenever I write fanfic in my head at 2am that will never be written down, and I think of Quinntana, I imagine different variations of a Santana apology. Because it just sucks so much to think that she wasn't there for Quinn at all. The Santana of later seasons is ride or die for Quinn and it's just, ahh, frustrating.
But you didn't wait three weeks just for that answer. I suppose, if I were to rewrite Glee, I'd have it be a messy dynamic in season 1. I wouldn't sugarcoat it because as much as I'm a firm believer in die hard friend Santana, this is 15 year-old Santana deep in the closet and in her most cutthroat era. So her initial reaction upon hearing about Quinn's pregnancy (or rather, when she figures it out) is shock that manifests in cruelty. I don't think the gravitas of the situation hits Santana or Brittany at first. It's just so ridiculous to think that uptight Quinn would put out ONCE and boom, get pregnant. And yet. So it doesn't sink in for Santana.
And then, slowly, it does. When Quinn gets kicked off the Cheerios and gets kicked out from her home and sure, Santana's on top but it comes with a gigantic sinking feeling. God, I hate season 1 so much for not driving it home enough just how dire Quinn's situation was. Glee give a shit about your girls challenge, difficulty: impossible. But it does sink in for Santana, she just doesn't know what to do. It's such a fucked up situation and she feels like Quinn wouldn't want her help. Becomes this miserable self-inflicted hell of neither wanting to reach out while Quinn quietly drowns and Santana represses her guilt. They still, like, hang out in public. By which I mean sitting together in Glee Club. And Brittany starts asking Quinn about the pregnancy and it's almost as if things are normal between them. But nothing will ever be normal again, will it?
That's the thing, I don't think they'd talk about it. Even if Santana was an actual character in season 1, I don't think it'd be this huge show of support or active conversation. Because she's a stupid kid who couldn't possibly fully understand what Quinn is going through. And, as much as they move past that eventually, I think Quinn resents her for it, for a while. Which is why she's willing to throw Santana under the bus in season 2. That's the only way Quinn can move past it, if anything goes. Because Santana was all too happy to take her place and head Cheerio in season 1 so only seems fair.
I'm sorry, this is such a weird reply. I really wanted to do a proper Glee-rewrite, as proper as I ever do, but I think changing too much would have such consequences for the rest of the show. And really I'm just remembering how little Glee cared about Quinn's pregnancy, even outside of Santana, and it pisses me off so much. That things like getting solos were treated as issues of equal weight. And yeah yeah sure Glee had a different tone back then and it was ~satirical~ but fuck, just admit they didn't care about Quinn's story. And so just making Santana a main character wouldn't change that, it would maybe just give us a moment of her climbing to the top on Quinn's back and living to regret it.
I know a sad Quinntana dynamic isn't exactly fun, but I just don't see a version of this where Santana suddenly becomes some Mother Theresa supporting Quinn in everything. That's just not the story Glee was willing to tell. Maybe there's a quiet understanding between them, and maybe Santana does on occasion bark at people for dissing Quinn post-fall from grace. That's what I realistically see happening, Santana caring "in secret" and in her own way. But because she's bad at it, she will make fun of Quinn to her face and come up with pregnancy-related nicknames.
It's a messed up situation and a messed up dynamic. Truly sorry that after three weeks this is what the reply ends up being but I thinking about Quinn's pregnancy is just so depressing to me so I find it hard to think of a version where Santana's role wouldn't also be depressing. I know some fix-it-fics have the UHT be super supportive and sticking together and god I wish we had that instead. Or even something complicated like Quinntana's later relationship. But season 1 comphet peak bitchiness without introspection Santana just wouldn't be the best friend to Quinn.
#wow i'm not even sure there's an answer in there i'm sorry anon#you see why i sometimes take so long lmao#guess i shouldn't be the one to rewrite the pregnancy story#or i'd just need to change SO much it'd be rendered unrecognizable#glee asks#anon#quinntana asks#not quite a gleewrite so maybe doesn't get the tag#<--- stolen from another post but god most deffo does not get the tag#this ain't worthy#ah well hope you're having a nice day anyway
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Eri!!! I'd love to hear. Some of your Yiruk headcanons if you have any to share 💕💕
Ooh! Yes of course!
Transmasc NB Yiruk using He/They/It pronouns for me! Mainly they but loves it when people use the others as well.
I shared these ones before pretty sure, but Yiruk did their own first piercings and wants to learn how to professionally pierce so they can get a TON of piercings easily whenever they want.
Same with tattoos. It has done a few tattoos on other people/friends, but has yet to tattoo itself because it is so indecisive on what to get and wants the first one to be super special. It will draw on itself all the time, especially with permanent marker to try and get the feel of how permanent a tattoo will be. There's a whole folder on its phone dedicated to its own self tattoos trying to figure out the best first design and placement.
As careful as Yiruk is with his tattoo, that doesn't carry over to most other stuff. He is easily very impulsive and ready to just go and do something (as seen with the piercings lol).
Someone else came up with the idea that Yiruk is willing to eat anything and I love that so it is also added to my headcanon list. However, I also think Yiruk used to have Pica as a kid but grew mostly out of it. They still eat ice and chew/eat pencils though. They have been trying to replace pencils with like licorice or chicken bones so they aren't eating absolute trash, but still sometimes you'll see Yiruk swallowing something they shouldn't.
He is definitely a war fanatic. Mainly taking interest in the airforce (and anything to do with planes in general as those are special interests), but is willing to learn about all other forms of war/military branches. He's really good with history and can identify a lot of different kinds of planes both commercial and fighting.
Speaking of war. The main reason it even became friends with Dew is because of Dew's history in the navy and war. Though Yiruk is not totally interested in what jobs a diving bot had to do, they were still interesting stories enough for it to start a friendship with Dew.
You better believe Yiruk was dissapointed to find out that Haym was a pilot during the war but can't give any real information because 1). Haym never saw actions as a malfunction made him afraid of heights, and 2). even if he wasn't afraid of heights and saw action, he never goes into his war memories like Purl does so has no real memories of his past war life. So Yiruk wanting to talk planes with Haym isn't something that happens. Though Purl is ready and able to talk with it.
Finally, Yiruk never takes their glasses/shades/visor thing off. Don't know why, it's probably just a comfort but also probably helps their eyes somehow. (I have an older student in my class that uses yellow tinted glasses to help with her eyesight, don't know why because I don't want to pry into her personal life, but I feel like Yiruk might need them to help their eyes as well).
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Wanna see the funniest thread of texts to wake up to ever-
It's either go back to college and get the psych degree or do what you're doing but not like that. The average viewer would go,
"Does she know what you're doing?"
The answer to that is yes, kinda, I think she does. I told her that I already talk about Milgram online and plan to make videos about it. So, I have to assume she knows.
Oh then no problem-
She does not want it to be about Milgram and is basically asking me to do intermediate counseling similar to an advice column in a daily newspaper. Something that came about yesterday. Because we were having a conversation about media due to discussing Milgram. A work she has deemed inappropriate for kids and society.
After she explained why she believed that which I explained,
"The complaints you have aren't about the media but media literacy as a whole. A piece of media can only go as far as the person viewing it allows it to."
This led to a conversation about the younger generation, which again tied back to media literacy. Then I woke up to these after do not disturb cut off at seven in the morning. Just to think,
"Boy, do I have a surprise for you-"
Wait, hold on to stop admitting you were at the devil's sacrament to our mother each time you talk to her. She looked up the series last night and is baptist we are going to get it, bro. Literally shut up about Milgram for ten seconds, I'm begging- Yeah, well, beg harder- because this task keeps getting failed.
I fully plan to bring it up when I go to clean at my grandma's house Friday. Vacuuming my grandma's room,
"Grandma, do you think there's anything that can justify or excuse someone killing another person?"
Our sweet old grandma (80s), whose first love is religion, and did volunteer work at our family church up into her seventies probably would say,
"No, though I'd suppose it'd depend on the circumstances."
She would also probably laugh at the question. The family response to Milgram has consistently been well- I have to know why they did it first to judge it. Like elaborate. Or in my mom's case oh that's so dark the things your generation gets into I swear. I like to ask my family's opinion on this stuff because I just genuinely want to know, and it makes for good discussion.
Since my family members are all very opinionated people. Except for my older brother, he's very chill and just usually lets the characters get away with it because whatever it is simply is not his business. Talking to people with various different circumstances on what they think about milgram is very interesting. Because half the time I can just go ah I see why you see it that way. Like my mom was like,
"Well, how can you prove her murder wasn't the abortion?" In regards to Yuno because her first song doesn't show anyone else there. Then I said there are other people implied to be involved, though. She again said implied but not shown. This is without watching it, but listening to me discuss her case. Her whole thing is since we don't really see Yuno with any other people outside of the implication she is with others it could rightfully make it difficult for people to believe she's in here for killing anyone at all and it's not like abortion counts as murder so no crime has occurred here.
Then I brought up how it'd be nice if that's true but guilt by association is a thing. We know at least several people within Milgram have killed directly and one bluntly asks why someone would bring a bunch of acquitted murderers together. For any of them to be acquitted evidence of a crime or at least probable cause something that ultimately implies the death of a living person has transpired for one would be needed to take them to court at all.
Now this character could be lying but the character that the stand in for the audience is subordinate to says if this was just about the law then we wouldn't need to be here. Making it more like that Kazui is telling the truth about the acquitted part. Since if they were all legally acquitted of any wrong doing already then if we were just going by modern law we would not need to be here. Abortion is also still legal in Japan so they couldn't criminally charge Yuno for using one of her legal rights. That'd be odd.
At which point she went, yeah, given that information, it does become more questionable if abortion is her crime or not and I wouldn't really think it was myself but still this all so dark. It's like it's teaching people how to get away with murder. Circling into what we discussed at the beginning of this post.
Though it was a really fun conversation. Also, no- I haven't told my mom about Mikoto. I would like to tentatively know peace.
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YiZhan fandom interviews!! 003 @OldObsess/overthinkingthis
I am so thankful that not only she accepted this interview, but accepted it with eagerness! 🙏 I was actually very excited about finally being able to talk to her because one of my first fics I read in this fandom was hers (and is my favorite to this day) and it was rec’ed by none other than Ren 😆 Now you can imagine what fic that is lol, but I digress. So without much ado… here’s Tee, aka @OldObsess!!!
▪️ Please, tell us about yourself. How you like to be called or how you go by in this fandom and how long you’ve been in the swamp.
i respond to a lot of names in this fandom, it's all good. on twitter, i'm @oldobsess... if i could do it again, i'd probably pick a new handle, but i had never used twitter before this fandom, so didn't know what i was doing! my first screen name was "too old to obsess over 💚❤️" and then sometime later i decided that there was no shame in being an older fan, so i changed it to "never too old to obsess over 💚❤️" 😂
on ao3, i'm "overthinkingthis" — i deliberately picked a different handle entirely because i had never read or written fics before, and wanted to keep my fic activities separate, like a secret side thing. that did not last long. again, shedding the shame!
on tumblr i'm "overthinkingyizhan" but i'm new to tumblr so there's not a lot going on there yet.
fandom friends also call me tee, and that works too!
how long have i been in the swamp? i watched cql in march 2020... my family watched it first, and i had no interest in watching with them until i saw xz's face. i literally asked, "why is that man so beautiful???" i watched the entire series twice, read mdzs a couple of times, and then one day i was listening to wuji and thought, "are the actors singing this as a duet?" i googled them, was horrified by 227, amazed by yibo's dancing, and then started mainlining the official bts and all the fan analysis videos on youtube. i was so charmed by how happy they looked together, but i'd never shipped anyone in my life before, so wasn't sure what to make of all the shippy stuff. i came to yizhan twitter in april 2020 to find out what happened to them after weibo night (aka "divorce night"). what finally threw me into the pit was seeing video of yibo looking teary in a ddu clip from the first taping after 227... i remember thinking, "oh my god, he really loves him."
wow, i'm rambling. let me let you ask your questions!
Ooh, I’m loving your story…! You could keep going and I can keep listening/reading it… 🥹🥹🥹
So it was the first time you shipped someone???
yes, this is my first and only fandom! i was very lucky to find really good friends in the fandom when i came to twitter, and they have been such good guides. that's one of the reasons i love what you're doing with this project (and i very much vibe with your "omg how can i organize all this information" panic because that's how i ended up on ao3!) i could go on, but let me answer your next question:
▪️ Where are you most active/ favorite place to dabble in fandom-wise? (Twt, tumblr, ao3, pixive, privetter, etc)
i'm most active on twitter as @oldobsess… i've posted more works on ao3 than i ever expected to, and i have a tumblr that i hope to use to archive more of my collected fandom candy if i ever find the time
▪️ I’ve also been very fortunate to be in friendly fandoms, but being this your first, were you surprised by the toxic side of it when you found out?
yes! i mean, because i learned about 227 right away (it had just happened when i started watching cql in march 2020), i learned about antis very early on. i don't really understand why anyone takes the time to hate a character or celebrity when they can spend that time on the character or celebrity they love, but sadly, i know now that there are people who do that in every fandom.
i was also very surprised that dynamics is a thing some people get very worked up about, especially with an rpf ship where no one has any idea what people do in private. i've tried to be more mindful about it now that i know it's a thing, but i wish everyone could assume more positive intent when it comes to this particular topic. personally, if i see or read something that isn't my thing, i don't stop to comment and i don't like to do callouts in public. (that's what private chats with friends are for!) instead, i scroll on by or use the back button. i don't like to give fandom wank more exposure by posting about it publicly. there's enough negativity in the world as it is — i don't need to add to it!
i'm also aware that as an rpf shipper, i have to be careful about where i do my screaming. i don't do it on posts by official accounts (whether in comments or qrts). also, i follow a fair number of solo accounts because we share a love for either xiao zhan or yibo, but i am careful not to say shippy things on their posts... i think that's basic courtesy, because they're entitled to do fandom the way they like. if i don't like the way they do it, i scroll by or i can block if it's really something i don't want to see. some solos block me, and i prefer they do that than to say unkind things to me.
basically, i try to follow the golden rule... how would i feel if something said X to me? i feel like i've had a relatively drama-free fandom experience by following these guidelines. fandom should be fun, so as long as you're not hurting anyone, you do you!
I very much share the same opinion about how to handle 🐜.
Now that you bring up the topic about the dynamics, I think it’s a cultural thing b/w Asian countries and Western countries. They simply have different backgrounds of how they came to be and have very different view points. They can’t really be compared. But I still love both styles.
▪️ What was your first motivation to start writing/ drawing about them?
before this fandom, i never read or wrote fic! and i had no idea rpf was a thing! to be honest, i was a little weirded out by the idea of reading or writing fic about real people. 🙈 but then after spending hours chatting about ggdd candy with my first fandom friends, i felt completely overwhelmed by the need to organize everything they were sharing with me. (also remember that the pandemic lockdown had just begun, so i was going a little stir crazy and needed something to do with all my restless energy.)
one night, we were musing over when ggdd might have first gotten together, and one of my friends told me that a significant minority of cbxg (chinese ggdd shippers) believe they got together BEFORE cql. i demanded to know more about this theory, and after countless hours of drowning in candy from 2017, i decided i had to write a fic with this alternate timeline or i would lose my mind.
i opened an ao3 account and started posting "we are made to love" in june 2020. https://archiveofourown.org/works/24669283/chapters/59612737 i had no idea what i was doing! i just wanted to write something about all the candy for myself and to amuse the three fandom friends i had then. 😂 but then what started out as "maybe i'll write 15k on this, 20k tops" turned into a 20-chapter, 83k work that took me six months to post in full.
i swore all along that i would write that one fic to get it all out of my system, and then never write again, but that did not happen. these two beautiful and talented individuals are just too inspiring! i've created or co-created over 50 works since then, but wamtl is still my best-known work.
sorry, these responses are just so long! renren was so much more succinct... please feel free to tell me to shut up hahah
No, I won’t cos I’m enjoying this way too much myself 🤭
▪️ How many fics/ fan arts have you written/ drawn so far? Which one is the one that you’re most fond of and why?
i've written 45 fics (including two drabbles that i drew art for, and one anonymous work). i co-wrote an additional eight fics with friends. i also posted two works (a recipe and a knitting pattern) that were part of an art/fic collab that i did with some creative fandom friends.
i don't know how to answer this question (about what fic i’m most fond of)! i've been asked before, and my answer changes all the time. it depends on my mood, and also on what it means to be fond of a work. sometimes a fic is bound up in the feelings i had when i wrote it, or who i was writing it with or for. if you asked me what fic of mine i would most want to reread, that would also depend on my mood. do i want to laugh or cry?
i am really fond of "talk to me," which is the fic i HAD to write after i saw an article about a japanese man who rented himself out as a "rental-san" to keep lonely people company... i was absolutely seized with the idea of writing yibo as a "rental-ge," hired by xiao zhan to listen to him talk about a boyfriend who keeps breaking his heart. it's also a wholesome t-rated fic, and soft getting-together fics are really my jam.
i'm also very fond of "lying in the dark (no sunshine)," which is my angsty break-up/make-up fic. it's based on the movie "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind," which is one of my favorite movies. i am also in love with the concepts of memory and forgetting, and this fic is a long meditation on those themes.
i'm really cheating now, but i am super fond of my tattoo and tentacle aus ("under my skin" and "wrapped up in you" ) because i wrote them with and for dear fandom friends, and so both were so much fun to write. when i re-read them, i think of these friends, and the warm feelings i have for this fandom.
Ooh, I’m glad you mentioned “Wrapped Up in You” cos it’s been one of my first fics I read when I came into this fandom and was rec’ed by none other than Ren and it’s one of my fave fics for so many reasons! 😆😆😆
*screaming* i cannot believe that you joined this fandom and read TENTACLES right off the bat 😂😂😂 i love that! 🐙
▪️ What’s your favorite trope to write/draw or a new one that you want to try this year?
"established relationship" is my most common "additional tag" for my fics! i just adore writing yizhan all soft and secure with each other, even if they're sharing insecurities or bickering. to me, they fit together like puzzle pieces, so no matter what i put them through in the story, when i get to the parts where they're settled and happy, with all the trust and fondness that comes with that, the writing feels effortless.
among the projects i want to finish these year is a getting-together rom-com, a sci-fi au, and a fairy tale! occasionally i think about writing more "canon" fics based on real-life candy that they throw out there, but i also feel like i've written so many of them already, and i have a lot of other ideas i'd like to try to write.
oh, i should say, since this is supposed to be a guide for baby 🐢, i've dumped a ton of links to candy in the endnotes to a lot of my fics, especially wamtl and the fics in the "extra chapters" series. since i started writing fics as a way to organize my thoughts and the fandom candy, i actually do continue to revise the endnotes as i come across new sources (and if links go dead, i try to fix them). ideally, i would post all these links to tumblr so people don't have to go to my fics to find the links, but there are only so many hours in a day!
Wow, I’m amazed at how organized and prolific you are!
▪️ Are you bjyx, zsww or lsfy? Is this dynamic important to you?
i would say i am lsfy. i do not care about who does what physical act. i do care about characterization, and to me, that is completely separate from how the characters have sex. if a fic is written well, and the way yizhan is written feels real to me, i don't care how they have sex (or if they do at all).
one of the things i've really enjoyed about writing yizhan fics is that because they are both men, i don't worry about gender baggage the way i might if i were writing a m/f fic. i have the freedom to flip things around to fit the story and i don't spend emotional energy worrying whether having a character cook, cry, or apologize — or bottom — is gender-coded. honestly, i spend enough time irl worrying about race and gender, so i like that these are not issues i need to think about when i write yizhan.
so yeah, at this point, i have written all possible dynamics (and with tentacles, you really can do everything, everywhere, all at once 😂)!
i do try to tag my fics for dynamics (the actual sex act, not for vibes or characterization) so that people who *do* care can find what they want to read. i'd rather that someone who cares a lot about such things is able to avoid reading a fic of mine that doesn't suit their tastes so they don't feel compelled to write me a nasty note (also, readers, don't do this. there's a back button for when that happens).
That seems to be a very important issue in this fandom, they even have names for each dynamic. That a first for me and it was another thing that surprised me as a new 🐢.
▪️ What’s your most fave 🍬? Have you written about it? Where do you get your 🍬 sources?
i don't know if i can pick a favorite candy! like renren, i love the tattoo cpn, and so i wrote an entire fic about them having tattoos ("under my skin," in which xiao zhan is a tattoo artist and yibo is an idol who meets xiao zhan and suddenly wants to be inked all over his body haha).
i am fascinated with kadian, which is a kind of number language that's popular in china. i honestly thought it sounded far-fetched the first time i was introduced to it, but over the course of the years i've been in this fandom, i've seen enough evidence to know that kadian is real and yizhan use it (for example, 520 means "i love you" because the chinese numbers read out loud (wo ai ni) are a homophone for 我爱你, or "i love you" — may 20 (5/20) is a nationally-recognized couple's day in china for that reason)... yizhan (and all of their endorsements) post at 8:05 or 10:05 frequently because those timestamps represent their birthdays. there are many examples of different codes in wide use in china that have shown up in yizhan's various socmed posts... and there there are all the 18s (一八 sounds like yibo) and 3s (三 sounds like zhan).
i do incorporate kadian in nearly all of my fics in some way (and there's a whole chapter about it in wamtl), often because i’ll have yizhan post not-so-secret kadian messages to each other over weibo and oasis.
i even embed kadian codes into the word counts for nearly all of my fics, i'm that obsessed.
twitter followers know i post about kadian a lot too!
my first fandom friends have been such excellent sources of candy... @ShirasagiS @VenOceanofStars were the ones who spent hours talking to me about the candy that cbxgs had unearthed when i was writing my first fic. they helped me so much with translations (translation from chinese can be so difficult, especially when it's xiao zhan who's posting... he loves the word play and can get very literary in his wording).
other good accounts to follow to stay on top of weibo/oasis posts, endorsements, past appearances and such are @wxyzybxz @bjyxiaos @bjyxnoa @sunhuas
i also follow some solo accounts... although they don't *intentionally* deliver candy, they always have great content about xiao zhan and yibo.
candy also comes my way through chats with friends!
i'm not on tumblr much, but i like UntamedConnotations and AccioVictuuri for roundups of candy that aren't captured as well in tweets
Wow, thank you for sharing with us so generously your sources! I for one am very grateful cos I didn’t know several of them.
▪️ Open topic: hot/latest topic of the boys and/or fandom.
the latest hot topic!? i think it has to be yibo's new song, his performance, and his many, many posts about them! it's ticking all the boxes for me... a GORGEOUS, heartbreaking song, a beautiful and emotional performance, and a tidal wave of posts about it, with kadian, possibly hidden messages, and yibo looking incredibly handsome.
just today, he posted pictures of himself in a hoodie with a rainbow logo and his ever-present 🦴 necklace, and combined with a song and performance that already feels like yibo baring his soul in a way we haven't seen before, it's just SO MUCH and i am just in awe of how comfortable he is in his skin, how unapologetic he is about who he is... and how safe and secure he must feel to be able to shout all this out. i realize i could be completely deluded, and that none of this has to do with love, or that maybe he loves someone who isn't xiao zhan, but after all that i have seen over the past few years, i'm not sure how else to harmonize it all if they aren't szd. if nothing else, it makes me so happy to imagine that they've really found a love like this with each other, and for me, that's been the joy of being in this fandom (especially these last few years, with all that has been going on in the world).
anyway, i like to tell people that i fell into the wangxian pit because of xiao zhan's beautiful face, and that i tripped and fell into the yizhan pit because of yibo's lovesick face. everything about yibo's "like a sunshine" song and performance is just making me even more emotional about them and the epic romance that i see between them, and it brings me so much joy.
▪️Now that you bring up about the the 🦴 necklace, do you think the necklace is actually XZ’s gift? Does it really have a 王 engraving on it? Do you think the 🦴 necklace some kind of statement?
i'm not sure if it's really engraved with a 王... but i think the 🦴 is (1) a gift from someone special because yibo wears it so frequently... you only come back to a piece of jewelry that often when it has great personal meaning... especially when you are someone who wears fancy accessories for work all the time. it has shown up in inappropriate times too, like under a period costume on set, when he's not supposed to be wearing personal jewelry... that tells me it means something very special, because he just won't take it off. and (2) i think it's from xz because he has called yibo a puppy (gouzaizai), there was that time yibo's co-star from LoF said in a livestream that he can't call yibo gouzaizai because he's not xz (which tells me that other people know about xz using that term of endearment)... also xz has called yibo clingier than jianguo (comparing him to a pet), so yeah... i think it's really only xz who could give yibo a 🦴 necklace 🥰
could it be another person? i guess if i am wrong about them being szd, it could be someone else... but to me that would mean he's in a relationship with someone else. i have jewelry that other friends have given me that i wear on occasion, but the pieces that i wear all the time are the ones my husband has given me.
In between this answer and the next question, we both became a crying mess remembering the beautiful and meaningful dance performance of Yibo’s LtS at the New Year’s Gala, till we regained our composure, lol
▪️ How did you come to meet your good friends when you first started out in fandom?
when i first came to twitter in early april 2020, i really didn't know where to start. i wasn't a twitter user, and i'd never done the fandom thing before. i lurked for awhile, following solo accounts (at first, just xfx, because i was really worried about how xiao zhan was doing... it was still very early after 227). i stumbled over ventus's (@VenOceanofStars) posts, and spent a few long nights scrolling her posts of old candy. she noticed that i was liking literally hundreds of her posts, and dm'd me to ask me "how old is too old to obsess over ggdd?" and that's how we became friends. 🥰 she introduced me to @ShirasagiS and the three of us spent a lot of time just talking about ggdd and c-ent generally, since they are fluent in chinese (i am also asian, and although i've been perpetually trying to learn chinese, it's been a slog!)
i also found @BjyxObsessed because i thought her pinned tweet was hilarious and it spoke to me (back then, it was all about the shock of falling into this shippy pit as an older fan), and because i am not a shy person, i slid into her dms and forced her to be my friend. 😂 she introduced me to the world of rp fiction, and her sweet and funny fics were among the first i read (in any fandom!)
that's generally been my pattern... i see people around who might share an opinion or a demographic (a lot of my fandom friends are older fans with families and irl jobs) and i might dm them to see if we click. sometimes we do, sometimes we don't (and that's okay!)
when i finished posting wamtl and realized i was not done writing after all, i helped put together a discord server with some other writing friends, a place where we could encourage one another as we prepared for an upcoming fic exchange that we were all participating in. that was a great way to make friends... gathering around a common creative interest, be it writing or art or maybe just yelling about the boys.
some of those writers have since moved on, and some new writers have joined... it's sad when friends go on to other fandoms or to other interests, but i'm told this is a natural ebb and flow of fandom, and so i've learned to roll with it and keep making new friends.
somehow, nearly five years after yizhan started filming cql together, new 🐢 still find their way here, and i like to think that that's a testament to how beautiful and real their story feels.
▪️ Okay, I have the exact same question. How old is too old? Because I regard myself as one of the older 🐢 age-wise. I was VERY relieved to see several 30+ or 40+ in fandom 🤭
well, i don't like to tell people how old i actually am because i feel like putting a number on it might make people wonder if they're too old (if they're older than i am)... i prefer the mystery! but yes, i've been told that my saying i'm an older fan makes other older fans feel more comfortable with being here, and that's nice to know!
i do have readers and followers who i know are older than i am, and i think that's awesome!
▪️ Lastly, a piece of advice for newbie 🐢, please!
i would second renren's advice to respect the boys, their business partners, and their co-stars/friends and don't write shippy things on their posts. think of the golden rule before you hit "send" on things... how would you feel if you were yibo or xiao zhan and people were yelling shippy things on your work projects? for that reason, i try to keep my nonsense within this fandom bubble... i don't hashtag with their names, and i don't interact with solo accounts unless i *know* they're tolerant of cpfs.
the other thing i would say is to spend your energy positively. being excited about yizhan's projects and their accomplishments does not mean you have to trash someone else... that's a really bad look, and can only make trouble for them (and especially don't do that if you're using them as your profile picture because it reflects badly on them).
finally, don't evangelize. if people see what you see and want to find out if they're szd, they'll find their way here. arguing with people and trying to "prove" to outsiders that they're together is bad form... remember that we really don't know anything. i might personally feel they're szd, but if other people don't see it, i respect that too. THAT SAID... if they trip and fall into the pit the way i did, i'll do what i can to make them feel welcome so they can enjoy a positive and joyful fandom as i have!
END
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She shouldn't be this nervous.
After all, what's a puny mortal counselor to a Q?
But that doesn't change the fact that her skin is crawling. As much as she loves having a bipedal form, there are times when she prefers to take a gaseous shape. It's much harder to be nervous when you don't have a heart to beat ominously in your chest, or palms to get sweaty, or skin to get covered in goosebumps.
The door opens.
"You know, you're allowed to come into my office instead of just standing outside the door."
"Sorry, ma'am. Just - a little nervous, I suppose."
"Perfectly understandable. Ensign...Quinn, right?" the Betazoid woman asks as the two sit down. Q just nods. "And you said you had transferred over from the Euclid?"
"Yes, ma'am, the Euclid was the last ship I was on." It wasn't technically a lie.
"And what was it you wanted to discuss, Ensign?"
"Well, um, I have a bit of a question first." The other woman nods for her to go ahead. "Is doctor-patient confidentiality still a thing?"
"I - pardon?"
"I am...very old. Much older than I appear. The last I was aware, it was a thing, but it's been a while, and I'd like to know if I can tell you the truth or if you're going to tell the captain."
"As long as you are not going to hurt yourself or others, I am not required to share our conversations."
"With all due respect, that doesn't answer my question."
"I will not share what you tell me unless it is endangering yourself or others."
"That's probably as good as I'm going to get," she says with a sigh. "Alright, well, here goes. I am a Q."
Deanna's hand begins to move toward her comm badge.
*SNAP*
And then it stops.
"Shit. I - I'm sorry! I didn't mean - well, I did mean to stop you, but only because you were going to tell someone!"
Deanna blinked. This was not at all what she had expected.
"Just breathe, I'm sorry for startling you." Much to the counselor's surprise, the other woman listened to her, taking a deep breath and halting her pacing. "If you'd be so kind as to unfreeze me, please."
"Right, of course. Sorry, ma'am."
*SNAP*
"Thank you."
"Please don't tell the captain."
"Why shouldn't I? Why are you here?"
"I'm not part of Q's 'trial' or whatever he calls it. I didnt even mean to come here in the first place. I was on the Euclid before this. I thought I'd have an easier time on a smaller ship that wasn't as involved."
"So what brought you here? Why did you change your mind?"
"A friend of mine got transferred. So I came with him."
"And the reason you've been masquerading as a Starfleet officer?"
"I haven't been masquerading! I've been working! I can take orders! And it's not like I decided to be a captain or something; I'm an ensign!"
"Alright, okay, just - take a moment. Breathe. I am trying to understand. So you...came here, because you have a friend. And you had to join them, as a member of the crew?"
"It's easier to blend in as just another cog in the machine. And I like having stuff to do. Mortals are so…interesting with all the different ways they’ve found to do things.”
“I see.”
“I promise, I don’t mean any trouble. I just want to be here.”
“Well, this is highly unorthodox, but I suppose I don’t see why you can’t.”
“Wait, really? Oh thank you. I was worried I was going to have to erase your memories or something. Im horrible at doing that, I would’ve definitely given you brain damage and I don’t want to do that.”
The counselor just blinks and keeps smiling.
“I think perhaps this would be a good point to end this session."
"Of course! Thank you again, ma'am!"
The other woman practically runs out of the office, leaving Deanna alone with her thoughts.
"I'm going to get court-martialed for this, aren't I?"
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