#(and to whet your appetite for next one heres a teaser:

[oldfritz]

Intricate Rituals

ao3

roderich's spent enough seasons in my world in the hot seat. instead, my friends, it's time for gilbert - gilbert, who has long had this coming - to be our latest victim. it's alright though, whatever erzsi does to him gil can do just the same and wouldn't you know it....antonio's in town and without custody of the brain cell

[zoestormwriting]

TEASER: To Own the Libs, chapter one.

Heyo! Here's chapter one of my next novel To Own the Libs, due to be released on September 1st! I'm posting this chapter online as a teaser, to whet your appetite a bit.

This book can be preordered from Amazon and other online stores; the itch version and the paperback will be added on the date of release (I can't set up preorders for them).

The teaser chapter can be downloaded from itch by clicking the link above 👆 and is available as EPUB and PDF; a small part can also be found behind the readmore cut right here 👇

(Do note that this chapter has the following CWs: deliberate misgendering, bigotry, slurs related to sexuality, use of alcohol including underage drinking, and drunkenness.)

“I honestly can’t believe it,” I said as we half-stumbled through the door to our dorm room, my words slurred by the booze coursing through my veins. “That was supposed to be a woman?”

“Nuh… Not a woman,” Joe drawled back. “You heard him. He’s non-binary or sumthin’.”

I waved my hand dismissively. “Saaaaaaaaaaame difference,” I replied, drawing the first word out. “Remember, Joe, there’s only men and women. Nothing else. And she clearly wasn’t a man, so she must have been a woman.”

Joe’s eyes stared into the void for a second, completely unfocused, as he tried to concentrate; in the end, he finally grasped the thought he’d been chasing after. “Nah again, bro. Remember what we talked about earlier today?”

I took my shoes off, almost tripping in the process, and flopped down on my bed, turning my head to look at Joe. “What are you talking about?”

“Y’know. The thing. A man pretending to be a woman. To get into women’s changing rooms,” he explained, as he sat down on his own bed.

I frowned. “Someone should do something about it.”

It was my room-mate's turn to wave his hand dismissively. “Nothing we can do about it. He says he’s a woman…”

“Non-binary,” I interjected.

“Same difference. He says it, and no one can disprove it. In fact, we could get in trouble for doubting him.”

“…It’s not fair.”

“It’s not,” he replied. “But it is what it is.”

Joe stood up and closed the door; since we hadn’t bothered to turn the lights on, the room was filled with darkness. I heard some rustling – Joe was taking his clothes off before going to bed. A small part of my brain wondered if I should do the same; the bigger part, though, was occupied in thinking about something else.

It wasn’t fair. Someone could just say they were a woman, and everyone was supposed to believe it? Just like that? Sight unseen? Without any proof?

It wasn’t fair. You couldn’t just become a woman. You couldn’t just be a woman. That just wasn’t how it worked.

Men were men, and women were women. There was no way to change that simple fact, no matter how desperately someone wished for it. No matter how bad they felt about themselves.

Yes, of course, there must be some people for whom gender… dysplasia? Dyslexia? Dysmorphia?

Dysphoria.

There must be surely some people who suffer from gender dysphoria, but those were most certainly few and far in-between. I was absolutely sure most of the so-called trans women and trans-feminine non-binary people I sometimes spotted on campus were just pretending. Just… doing it to get ahead.

After all, life is much easier for trans people than it is for men, right? Everyone always tells them they’re so brave.

Everyone literally worships the ground they walk on.

Someone had to do something. There must be some way to prove that someone who wasn’t trans (cis, I distantly recalled the term being) could just transition out of the blue, without needing to have gender dysphoria, just pretend to be trans, and that was that.

Maybe if someone actually did it? Transition, I mean? To prove it was possible? Someone who had never thought about becoming a woman before in their entire life. Someone who didn’t suffer from gender dysphoria. Someone like… Like…

“Joe. You still awake?” I asked the darkness.

“Hwuh? Yeah,” came the answer, in a sleepy voice. “Whassup?”

“Tell me a girl’s name.”

There was a long pause.

“Dude, what the fuck?” Joe said, finally.

“Tell me a name. A girl’s name.”

“What the hell, man?”

I sighed deeply. “Just do it, please.”

“Okay. Anna.”

“…What the fuck? No!” I exclaimed.

“What? You asked me for a girl’s name!”

“Not that one!”

“Okay, okay. What then?”

I sighed again. “I dunno. What are girls named after? Flowers, maybe?”

Silence once again.

“Dude, did you fall asleep on me?” I asked.

“Nah man, just thinking. What about Rose?”

“Do I look like an old lady to you? The kind that goes ‘It’s been eighty-six years’ when asked for the time?”

“Uh… What?” Joe said. “Why is this suddenly about you?”

I waved my hand in the air, even though he couldn’t see it in the darkness. “Never mind. Come on, tell me another.”

“Okay. Iris.”

“Isn’t that a part of the eye?”

“Also a flower,” he replied, but the last word was cut out by a yawn – Joe was clearly about to fall asleep.

“Pass. Tell me another.”

“Amaranth.”

I turned my head and frowned in the direction his voice had come from. “The fuck’s an amaranth?”

“A flower. Isn’t that what you asked for?”

“Pass.”

The silence stretched longer this time.

“Dude? You still awake?”

“Bwuh?”

“I said ‘pass.’ Give me another.”

“Fiiiine. Lily.”

All the names Joe had said thus far had bounced off my brain; ‘Lily’ though, for some reason, floated right in, settled down, and made herself a nice nest deep into my mind.

I turned around, lying on my back, and stared at the darkness above me.

Joe began to snore softly.

“Lily,” I whispered as I fell asleep.

[duckprintspress]

The “Aim For The Heart” Campaign First 48 Hours, and the First (of Many!) Contributor Spotlights

On Thursday, Duck Prints Press launched the crowdfunding campaign for our next anthology. Aim For The Heart: Queer Fanworks Inspired by Alexandre Dumas’s “The Three Musketeers” features 20 stories, 19 full-page art pieces, and a 12-page comic, all inspired by the beloved story of d’Artagnan, the musketeers he meets, and the politics he gets embroiled in.

As of when I’m writing this, 76 people have already backed our project, and we’re nearly 60% of the way to our $8,000 USD goal! This is a really strong start, and we couldn’t be happier about it. A huge THANK YOU to everyone who has backed so far, and to everyone else – whatcha waiting for? There’s no time like the present – we’re offering an early bird special, $10 off our highest backer tier featuring the book + our gorgeous merchandise (a bookmark, a magnet, a sticker, and an enamel key chain) – only available today and Sunday, and only to the first 50 backers – we’ve only got 19 left!!!

If you love queer stories and queer art, and want to support a queer-owned independent publisher this lovely Pride month, make sure you check it out!

And, to whet your appetite, starting today we’ll be sharing story and art teasers more-or-less daily until the end of the campaign!

Author Spotlight: Wait and Hope by Veronica Sloane

About the author: Veronica Sloane has authored a novel, several short stories, some poetry, and twenty-two years worth of fanfic. She lives with one lovely spouse, one rambunctious clever child, and one sleepy cat.

Links: Archive of Our Own | Tumblr

About the Story: This modern fanfic tells the tale of Porthos, a waiter, and Aramis, a theology student, meeting for the first time—and then tells of their reunion, ten years later.

Story Teaser: 

“My name is Porthos,” he offered, “and I’ll be your dining companion for the evening, if you’ll have me.”

“Is this a new waiter service?” Aramis asked, those lovely wide eyes going rounder.

“I’m officially no longer a waiter here.” Porthos took Aramis’s lack of objection as agreement and set the glasses before each of them, uncorking the bottle with an expert twist of the wrist.

“Were you fired?” Aramis asked, watching the wine trickle into his glass with avid attention.

“I’m graduating.”

“Me too. I’ve never seen you.”

“Business major.” Porthos poured his own glass generously. It was a very good white.

“Theology.”

“What do you do with that?”

“In my case? Become a priest.”

“No.” Porthos set down the bottle to stare at him. “Really? Does that still happen?”

“From time to time,” Aramis laughed.

“But why? Surely you can just study religion and go to church if you have to. I’m assuming; I don’t think I’ve set foot in a church since I was a kid. I’d probably catch fire.”

“God forgives. If you have faith.” The last was said a little more tremulously.

“And you must.”

“Must I?” Aramis picked up his wine.

“Then why the priesthood?”

“I believe. Faith is another matter.”

Tags: alcohol use (casual), alternate universe, chef, college, food (graphic descriptions), m/m, meet cute, one-night stand, past tense, pov third person limited, restaurant, reunions, second chances, trans male character, veteran

Learn more about the whole collection by visiting our campaign page!

[itsladykit]

Well. I wasn’t quite able to finish @deck-of-dragons‘s present in time, but here’s a little teaser. (Not due to lack of trying, mind you--this gift fic has just stretched into a 10,000 word monster that I lost control of about 6000 words back).

I’m hoping it’ll be ready for you tomorrow, Deck. But here’s something to whet your appetite in the meantime.

This piece is pretty tame, but the full piece is explicit dark fic. That will be fully tagged, but no warnings apply to this piece except some vague references to slavery and murder.

-

Rus would never really know what happened. Maybe the machine malfunctioned. Maybe he punched in the wrong code. Either way, instead of Undertale, he found himself transported to a universe he wasn’t familiar with.

The machine wasn’t in Snowdin, wasn’t in any version of the brothers’ basement. It was still in Hotland, still in the hidden laboratory. And when he stumbled out, looking for help, he was snatched up by a sympathetic seeming Knight-Knight.

Things went downhill quickly after that.

A mana dampener was snapped around his neck before he could so much as think of teleporting away, and a nightmarish version of Napstaton—Mettaton?—purred over his pearly white bones. He kept expecting someone—Blue or Sans or Alphys, hell even Red—to appear, to save him.

But nobody came.

Just as real panic was starting to set in, a Spider monster that bore a striking resemblance to his Muffet came to pick him up. Relief washed over him. Muffet was a friend of his. A close friend. Surely, she couldn’t be that different from one universe to the next. And this Muffet, shorter and more curvaceous than his, didn’t look Fell at all. Her hair was festooned with ribbons, and she walked with a little bounce in her step that reminded him of Blue. And her smile when she saw him was all gentle reassurance. “Oh, dearie~. What a mess you’ve gotten yourself into, ahuhuhu. Don’t worry. We’ll get you straightened out soon enough.”

She led him through the back alleys of Hotland, and any lingering fears he had were assuaged when she brought him to her bakery, decorated lushly in shades of pink and purple. She plied him with spider donuts and cinnamon skulls—?!—and assured him that he’d be safe here, with her. “When I heard what that robot and his cohorts had found, I simply had to go get you. I hope they weren’t too rough…?”

He was busy shoving a cinnamon skull into his mouth when she asked—he hadn’t eaten since before he’d landed in this ‘verse, and his soul howled with hunger—but he washed it down with tea, scrubbing the frosting from his face as he said, “well. they weren’t—“ He cleared his throat, trying to keep from squeaking. “let’s just say i’d rather not go back, okay?”

She giggled. “Understandable. Don’t worry, dearie. I’m certain we can keep you safe here.” She eyed the donut still on his plate. “Don’t let me interrupt—I do love a man who enjoys my cooking.” He obeyed but ate more slowly now—less like a half-starved animal. She introduced herself more formally, then laughed when he told her his name. “Oh, dearie~. You tease! Really, now, what’s your name?”

So, he offered his nickname instead, and she seemed to accept that, sipping her tea. She hummed, stirring sugar into her tea. “Papyrus will be so happy to have a companion,” she said, patting his knee. “He’s been so lonely.”

His sockets widened. “papyrus is—he lives here? with you?”

He couldn’t believe his good luck! A friendly face and one of his own alternates under the same roof. Stars, he’d be home by dinner time, so long as his alternate knew where to get parts for the machine.

Muffet, somehow, misread his elation. “Don’t worry, dearie. I know he has a bit of a reputation, but he’s got a soft spot for sweet-pieces.” She winked. “It’s gotten him into trouble in the past.” She patted his knee again. “He’s a little rough around the edges, but I’m sure he’ll warm up to you in no time.”

He blinked, and his soul dropped. Of course his luck wouldn’t be that good. Considering Muffet was in Hotland, this looked to be a non-Swapped Fellverse. He shouldn’t be surprised that this version of himself would be an uptight asshole like Edge. Still, he would need his help, and even if he didn’t like Edge, he knew the edgelord wasn’t the type of skeleton to just leave one of his alternates in peril. This Papyrus couldn’t be any worse.

He forced a smile. “hey, i can be charming! i’ll have him eating out of my hand in no time.” He’d yet to succeed with the edgelord but never mind that.

She smiled over her teacup. “I like your confidence.” A bell tinkled from the bakery’s front entrance, and she winked. “Here’s your chance.”

He blinked, and before he could gather himself, a skeleton walked into the bakery’s kitchen and went over to the sink. He was—

Rus swallowed. He was washing the dust off his hands. “Job’s done, boss. Ya wan’—“ He turned and fell silent, but not for long. “What the fuck is—?”

“He’s really more of a ‘who’,” Muffet said, stirring her tea. “He says his name is Rus.”

The Papyrus shook his head. “No. Hell no. I don’ know what the fuck ya think yer doin’, but I ain’t havin’ any part ‘a this.” He gestured to the two of them, scowling.

She didn’t seem bothered by his outburst. If anything, she seemed amused. “There’s blood on your face, dearie.” He blinked, then touched his cheek, and when he saw the blood staining his phalanges, he swore again and used a dishtowel to wipe it away. “Why don’t you get cleaned up, and we can all have dinner together?”

“That what he’s for?” the Papyrus asked, still glaring. “Ya gonna eat ‘im?”

“Don’t be ridiculous—I’m not going to eat him! How absurd. And you are being inexcusably rude to our guest. I think you should apologize.”

“Yeah, well, I think you should send ‘im back ta whatever auction house ya bought him from. Fuck’s sake—ya don’ even like sweet-pieces! Whaddaya wan’ with ‘im anyway?”

“I can think of a few uses for him….” She squeezed his knee and offered a flirtatious smile. “Is that the issue? Are you jealous?”

Papyrus stared at Rus, and Rus could feel his sins crawling on his back. He swallowed and tried to think of something to say to this version of himself. But the words died in his throat. This Papyrus was taller even than him, and he was broad at the shoulder, with thick bones that bespoke his strength. Even without the spiderweb of cracks across his socket—the dead eyelight—and the positively menacing projections pouring off him, he would have been intimidating. As it was, Rus could barely hold his head up as he looked him up and down.

A sudden Check caused Rus to wince. The other Papyrus scoffed. “Hope yer not planning on playing too rough with ‘im. Only got 5HP. Ain’t gonna be up ta yer usual games.” Something flickered in his eyelight, and his brow-bones furrowed.

She just took another sip of tea. “Don’t be ridiculous, dearie. I still have you, don’t I?”

He scoffed and turned away. “Not tanight ya don’—‘m headed out.”

“Really, now, Papyrus. There’s no need to be jealous. I’m perfectly willing to share~.”

“Not in’erested,” he said, storming down the hall and into their living quarters.

Muffet grinned at him. “Well,” she said, smoothing out her apron. “That went better than expected.”

He swallowed. Hard.

[sustraiii]

TEAM KWTZ CHAPTER 1: THE FALL

Oh ho ho what’s all this then? A long time ago I mentioned my plans to write out and post the story of Team KWTZ and well the time is finally here - at least for the first chapter! I still have a few left to finish off before I queue this all up proper so think of this as a little teaser of sorts. Something to whet your appetite if you will.

Enjoy.

KIERAN

The sounds of panicked screaming were nearly deafening at this point, something made worse by his heightened hearing. Kieran didn't consider himself the sort of person to become flustered, but amidst all this ruin and destruction, it was hard not to feel some form of fear creeping into his mind.

A Nevermore landed in front of him, screeching at him and flapping its wings in defiance as Kieran moved closer to it. A spray of needle-like quills was sent in his direction, and he rolled away to avoid them, blue eyes never once letting the Grimm out of his sight. There was another screech, and just as it reared up in preparation for another attack, he struck. He swung up with his sword with a clean and precise motion, and the head of the beast came clear off, the rest of its black body dissipating moments later.

He breathed a sigh of relief and turned on the spot to face the civilians who he had ordered to take cover when the Nevermore had landed by them. One of them, a woman with dirtied clothes, rushed up to him and shook his hand vigorously.

“You have to get out of the area, ma’am. It’s still not safe here,” He advised, his gaze moving from the woman to the two other civilians that had been hiding with her.

“We will, thank you,” The woman nodded, finally releasing his hand. She made a gesture for her companions to come out of hiding and make their way down the street and to safety. She waited until they left the street and got to shelter before turning back to Kieran, looking at him with concern. “What about you?”

“Don’t worry about me,” He responded calmly, hoisting his sword onto his shoulder. “I’m just doing my job.”

The woman still seemed hesitant to leave but satisfied with his answer enough to finally leave him and retreat with her companions. When she had disappeared, a more determined resolve swept over him, and he rushed back into the fray.

His next target was a Creep, which had been meandering aimlessly in the area ever since it spawned from one of the pools of black liquid left behind by the Wyvern flying over the city. Kieran had never heard of a Grimm like that before, so to see such a beast with his own eyes had been quite the sight. He dreaded to even think what it would even take to defeat such an enemy.

Raising his fingers to his mouth, he whistled to get the Creep’s attention. It swivelled on the spot, four eyes staring at him menacingly, before charging. Kieran barely had time to bring his sword down into a defensive stance before it was upon him. He managed to sidestep out of the way just in time to avoid getting rammed by the creature.

It quickly turned to try and find him again, and in the moment it took for the Creep to right itself, Kieran saw a chance to make a move. He rushed forward, sword drawn and prepared to make a sweeping motion at its left leg, an area of its body that was more vulnerable due to a lack of bone plating.

To his disappointment, the move did not take the leg clean off, and only served to aggravate the Creep further. This time when it turned, Kieran was slow to react and got smacked by its tail, which caused him to stumble and fall to his knee. He was quick to rise back to his feet, putting on a spinning motion as he did so, and swinging out with his word hoping for contact. Luckily it did - steel clashing against the bony skull of the Creep. It wasn’t a damaging hit by any means but was enough to drive the two of them apart.

Kieran took a moment to catch his breath and was about to ready himself to rush towards the Creep again, but before he could do so, three consecutive arrows struck its side. Kieran turned his head in the general direction of the arrows and saw Lin stood there having just released them. Their eyes met and they gave each other a reassuring nod. A cry rang out from behind Lin, and out of the shadows, their teammates Tilia and Wyn came rushing forward to attack. Wyn slowed his pace to fire off some icy blasts from his gauntlets, which hit their mark and caused little ice formations to form around the Creep’s feet. Tilia kept running forward and used her momentum to jump up and bring her sword down on the Grimm with such force that it soon gave in to the power behind her attack.

With the area clear for the moment, Kieran and his teammates took the chance to regroup. Although he was relieved to see them and grateful for the help, his relief soon gave way to annoyance, annoyance that they were here with him and not looking out for Roisin as he had requested.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, looking at them all in turn. “I thought I asked you to find Ros and her team!”

Tilia folded her arms and huffed, but eased her stance when she caught the glance shared between Lin and Wyn. Judging by the look that passed between them something was wrong, and Kieran wasn’t sure he was prepared to hear the answer.

“Is she...Is she dead?” He asked, voice barely audible.

“We couldn’t find her,” Lin answered softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. “But we did find Tara. There was nothing we could have done for her.”

“What about Perry or Midge?” Kieran prompted.

“Perry was heading towards the academy,” Tilia answered, making a vague gesture behind her in the general direction of where the academy lay. “Not sure about Midge though.”

Kieran frowned. At the very least Perry had been alive, but given the state of Vale right now, it was anyone’s guess what his fate was now. He didn’t admit it outright but he was troubled by Tilia’s words since it implied Perry had left for the academy by himself and had not been accompanied by his remaining teammates.

“I need to use my semblance,” Kieran decided after a moment. His semblance allowed him to track down people he had a close connection with. The reason he hadn’t used it before was that it needed a lot of focus to get a more precise location, and even then it could be hampered by distance and other factors.

“Okay ladies, you know the drill,” Wyn said with a snap of his fingers, when Kieran had gone still and quiet. “Barricade formation.”

As Kieran steadied his breath, trying to clear his mind of all thoughts other than his sister, the rest of his teammates gathered around him. Lin stood in front, bow drawn at the ready should anyone - human, android, or Grimm - dare to come close they would meet the end of one of her arrows. Wyn and Tilia flanked his sides, Tilia stood to the left of him, both shield and sword at the ready and Wyn was to the right, his fists cocked at an angle that would allow him to sharply blast any enemy.

It took a moment or two, but finally Kieran was able to get a grasp on her location. His eyes snapped open, and he pointed west. "She's in that direction."

The four of them set off following that prompt, Lin and Wyn utilising their ranged capabilities to temporarily distract or disable any Grimm in their path, whilst Kieran and Tilia dealt the finishing blows. They carried on in this manner, making their way through the city, until they came to an area that had clearly overrun with Grimm. Fellow Beacon students and teachers were already working on clearing the area, dealing with a particularly nasty pair of Beowulf's. Although he desperately wanted to find his sister and ensure she and her team were safe, his sense of duty meant he simply could not leave his fellow students to clear the area alone.

He barked a quick order at his teammates, and for the time being, their priorities changed. Tilia and Wyn got to work quickly, with Tilia using her shield to launch Wyn higher in the air for an advantage on some of his attacks. Kieran lingered close to Lin, acting as a guard down below, whilst she got into a better vantage point to shoot from. As he hacked and slashed, she rained down arrows from above, using her semblance to aid some of her shots, manipulating the trajectory of her shots in ways that no ordinary archer could do.

When the Grimm had been cleared, Kieran and the rest of his team lingered to help guide a few civilians out of the area and encouraged them to follow some of the other students to an evacuation point deeper in the city. When nearly everyone had gone, the four of them began looking around the area for signs of Roisin or the rest of team PEWT.

As far as he could tell, his semblance still seemed to indicate she was in the area, but with how much rubble and obvious destruction there was, Kieran was beginning to worry it would wind up being more of a recovery mission at this rate.

Or at least that's what he thought until Wyn shouted them over to where he was sorting through some rubble.

"I found Ros!" He would add in a yell, before crouching down to try and move a block that was preventing him from getting close. "Hold on, I've got you, I've got you." He kept assuring the still unseen Roisin.

The rest of KWTZ gathered around Wyn, waiting quietly as he tried to move the rubble, but after a moment he gave up and looked to Tilia. "Tilly, I need your arms," He said, gesturing for her to come and help him.

"Hold this," She said to Kieran, before passing him her sword. Tilia moved to stand next to Wyn, squatted ever so slightly, and cupped her hands under an edge of the rock before encouraging Wyn to do the same. "Okay, we lift on three. One, two…"

But before she got to three, she was able to lift the block herself, managing to flip it on its side so it was no longer in the way.

"What happened to three?" Wyn asked, pouting as he looked over at his partner.

Tilia rolled her neck a little before smirking. "Come on, Winifred, we all know your skinny little twig arms wouldn't have been able to make the cut." She teased.

"I think you just wanted to show off."

The two of them then stepped away as Kieran rushed forward, crouching so he was of a height with his cowering sister. When she realised who was around her, she shuffled forward, but the fear in her eyes was evident. As she came into the light a bit more, Kieran could see she had dust in her hair and clothing, and she was bleeding heavily from a gash on her palm.

"Take this," Tilia prompted without asking, handing him her green scarf. He gave her an appreciative nod, before hastily wrapping it around the cut. Roisin said nothing but winced when he tightened it.

"Come on, Ros, let's get you up," He said, urging her to get to her feet. But his sister simply would not budge, only making a small whimpering noise when he tried to pull her to her feet. "Roisin!" Kieran spoke her name with a hint of urgency. "We have to go! Come on!"

But still she would not move.

"I can't," She whispered softly. Her eyes looked behind him at a mass of rubble.

"I think she's in shock," Lin's voice cut in. "We might have to carry her out of here."

"I'll do it," Wyn offered, stepping forward.

"She's my sister," Kieran argued. "I'll do it myself."

"No, let Wyn do it," Lin urged, looking at Kieran with a pleading look. "We need you and Tilia to clear us a path."

Kieran hesitated, mentally torn between insisting he should carry her or conceding and letting Wyn do so. A moment passed and he let out an audible sigh, before standing to his feet, and giving Wyn a silent nod to go ahead and get her.

He moved away and Lin gave him a grateful nod. It took a few seconds of careful manoeuvring, but Wyn was eventually able to lift Roisin away from the rubble, and safely into his arms.

"Everyone ready?" Kieran asked, looking at each of his teammates and Roisin in turn. When they all gave him a silent nod, Kieran stepped ahead of the small group, prompting Tilia to do the same and stand beside him. He cast one last look over his shoulder at his sister, before leading them forward - hopefully to safety. "Let's move."

[ao3-elle1991]

Teaser for chapter 6 of Hot Summer Nights...

By popular request, I am going to start posting snippets of the next chapter of Hot Summer Nights every Friday, i.e. one day before each chapter is published! 😀

This is a way for me to say thank you to all my readers who follow me on here - and to whet your appetites for the next chapter! 😘

Without further ado, here’s my snippet for chapter 6...

Hair stroking slowly morphed into face stroking, which eventually became reciprocal, before finally evolving into slow, languid kisses. There was no urgency in their actions, no heated passion or desperate urge to get into one another's pants. It was simply slow, sensual making out - gentle, delicate and unexpectedly innocent. They explored one another's mouths slowly, tongues lapping gently against one another, tasting one another, memorising the shape of the other's lips. Steve licked at Bucky's mouth, his eyes closed and a feeling of something warm and fuzzy spreading through his chest. He could spend all day kissing Bucky and never get bored. He could happily spend all day kissing him and be satisfied, with no expectation of anything more. It was a nice feeling to have.

Read Hot Summer Nights by elle1991 on Archive Of Our Own.

[aion-rsa]

Cobra Kai Season 3: Breaking Down the Karate Kid Part II Easter Eggs

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This article contains spoilers for Cobra Kai season 3.

“Are you sure about that?” 

Even without seeing who said it, fans of The Karate Kid knew exactly who it was. It had to be Chozen Toguchi (Yuji Okumoto), the nemesis of Daniel (Ralph Macchio) from The Karate Kid Part II. The line whetted our appetites at the end of the season 3 teaser released back in August 2020. In December, Netflix released the full season 3 trailer which confirmed the appearance of both Chozen and Daniel’s love interest, Kumiko (Tamlyn Tomita). 

Cobra Kai has made a habit of delivering heartwarming and nostalgic cameos from the cast of the original films throughout the series. In the first season, Randee Heller reprised her role as Daniel’s mom Lucille, and when Martin Kove joined the cast as the notorious Sensei Kreese, everything changed. Season 2 episode 6 reunited several of the original Cobra Kai dojomates: Tommy (Rob Garrison), Bobby (Ron Thomas), and Jimmy (Tony O’Dell). In one of the most poignant episodes of season 2 “Take a Right,” Tommy is suffering from a terminal illness, so his old Cobra Kai comrades break him out of the hospital for one final ride. Sadly, reality imitated art as this was Garrison’s final performance. He died in September of 2019 and the first episode of season 3 ended with a fitting tribute to him along with the slogan “Cobra Kai Never Dies.”

With any reboot series, it’s often the Easter Eggs that are the most endearing for longtime fans. The creators of Cobra Kai have been on point with this so Daniel’s return to Okinawa is full of homages to The Karate Kid Part II. Even that sequel had an early Easter egg, before Easter eggs were even a thing. When Daniel and Kumiko go dancing at a ‘50s retro club, the song that’s playing is “Rock Around the Clock.” That was the theme song to Happy Days – the ‘70s TV show where Pat Morita had a recurring role as the owner of the soda shop, Arnold Takahashi. Here are some ways in which Cobra Kai season 3 plays homage to The Karate Kid Part II. 

The Sequel

First, a reminder of just what went down in The Karate Kid II. The sequel was the most financially successful film of the Mr. Miyagi (Pat Morita) tetralogy. It reunited almost all the cast from the first film, but only for segue cameos. The story picked up immediately where the first film left off, right after Daniel’s first victory at the All-Valley Karate Tournament. Kreese (Martin Kove) was so angry about Johnny (William Zabka) losing that he starts to choke him. Choke holds are a choreographic motif echoed in later fights between Kreese and Johnny in Cobra Kai. Miyagi rescued Johnny from Kreese but instead of finishing him, he honks his nose. 

After that, Daniel and Miyagi left the rest of the cast behind and travelled to Okinawa. Ali (Elisabeth Shue) did not return for the sequel. She was replaced by Kumiko, a new love interest for Daniel. And Johnny stayed in California, so he was replaced by a new rival, Chozen. Aside from the opening scene, the cast and location of the sequel is swapped out completely except for Miyagi and Daniel. It was a bold move but it worked. 

The finale fight between Daniel and Chozen was flawed on several levels. While Kumiko performed a traditional fan dance on a moat encircled platform in the center courtyard of an ancient castle, Chozen swooped in and challenged Daniel to a fight to the death. However, Daniel tips over the bridge, the moat appears to be only about a foot deep. There was a large audience watching Kumiko’s dance recital but when Daniel and Chozen begin their death match, no one tries to break them up. Instead of intervening, Miyagi and the reformed Sensei Sato (Danny Kamekona) lead the audience in twirling their spinning hand drums (known as den-den daiko) to inspire Daniel to use the new secret hand technique that Miyagi taught him. But if it’s a Miyagi-do secret, wouldn’t Chozen know it too? He had the same grandmaster as Daniel, Miyagi’s father (Charlie Tanemoto). And if it was so secret that Chozen didn’t know, why would the audience understand that  the den-den daiko had anything to do with Karate?  The finale fight is a silly attempt to insert some poetry into the film’s climax, but it doesn’t make much sense when you step back and look at it logically. In a painfully predictable conclusion, and an important coup de grâce for the Cobra Kai Easter egg, their fight ends exactly like the one between Kreese and Miyagi at the beginning of the film. Instead of finishing Chozen, Daniel honks his nose.

Because The Karate Kid Part II was set in Okinawa, it was an outlier and challenging to weave into Cobra Kai. The den-den daiko has been shown several times, but that was as far as they could go. The only logical way for Cobra Kai to evoke The Karate Kid Part II was to have Daniel return to Okinawa. 

The Right Path

In Cobra Kai season 3, after losing distributorship of Doyona cars, Daniel is forced to return to Japan in hopes of renewing his dealership’s contract. While there he decides to visit Tomi village, Miyagi’s hometown, and the setting of The Karate Kid Part II. But what was a quaint rural fishing village thirty years ago is now Tomi Village Green, a modern shopping mall. There he finds Kumiko performing a traditional dance on the shopping mall stage. Gone is the American military base. It’s also a long way from that moat stage in the castle, which surely would’ve been converted to a tourist site. Nevertheless, seeing Kumiko again gives any Karate Kid fan the feels. We recently saw Tomita as the cold Romulan Commander Oh in Star Trek: Picard, but when she finds her character of Kumiko, her smile is as disarmingly warm as it was thirty years ago. 

As Daniel and Kumiko catch up, she tells him she achieved her dream to be a professional dancer and travelled the world. She tells him she liked London best and Daniel guesses it was because of the tea. In The Karate Kid Part II, Kumiko treated Daniel to a traditional tea ceremony which led to their first kiss. Kumiko reveals that she had many suitors but never married because “None of them fought to the death for me” like Chozen intended at Kumiko’s dance recital. 

They return to the house from The Karate Kid Part II. Kumiko inherited it from her aunt Yukie (Nobu McCarthy) who was Miyagi’s former love interest. Kumiko reads some letters from Miyagi to Daniel and it’s beautiful. The chemistry between Macchio and Tomita is still palpable, and the actors deliver an incredibly moving scene. Tomita brought tremendous grace to Kumiko. It was her first film role, and she has kept that flame burning. 

Miyagi-Do

They meet again at a bar where there is a strange rack with vertical ice block slabs. It’s a nod to the strange ice break technique that Daniel had to do in The Karate Kid Part II. As a side note, no one ever does ice breaks with the slabs lined up vertically like that. The physics of such a set up makes such a break exceedingly difficult. Ice breaks are done with horizontally stacked slabs because it is so much easier, and you’d have to make a special custom rack to hold your ice before it melts. 

Enter Chozen. Like Tomita, Okumoto has been working steadily as an actor, predominantly in television. Coincidentally, Tomita, Okumoto and Morita reunited in 2006 for the film Only the Brave, a film based on the history of 100th/442nd Combat Regiment, which was comprised of Japanese-American soldiers who served during WWII. Miyagi served in this battalion, and in The Next Karate Kid, Daniel Inouye appears in a cameo. Inouye was a genuine veteran of the 442nd, a senator for the state of Hawaii, as well as the highest ranking Asian-American government official until Kamala Harris takes office as Vice President. Only the Brave was Morita’s final film role before his death in 2005.

While Macchio has retained his boyish face, Okumoto still has guns. He was one of the few original cast members that had a genuine background in karate and it’s clear that he’s kept up with his training. Chozen takes Daniel to his dojo and tests him by combat. It sets up what everyone wants to see – Daniel versus Chozen: the rematch. Chozen is as intimidating as ever and the fight ends predictably with another throwback to The Karate Kid Part II – Chozen honks Daniel’s nose. 

Without a sensei, Chozen serves as a device for Daniel to learn some new techniques. It’s a classic cliché in martial arts shows – the student learns some technique whether it be a crane kick or hand drum spinning and then must use it to gain their final victory. In Karate Kid Part II, Chozen introduced traditional Okinawan weapons with the line “Your little teacher ever teach you how to fight with spear?” For Cobra Kai, he teaches Daniel the staff fighting methods that he passes to his daughter Sam (Mary Mouser) which will save her in her season finale fight, as well as the pressure point techniques that Daniel will use against Kreese at the end. Daniel learns all of this in a day, which is preposterous, but if we keep calling out the martial arts in Cobra Kai, that will ruin it. 

Yuna, the “Girl Bell Ringer”

The best Easter egg of all is when Kumiko introduces Daniel to Yuna, the girl he saved from the typhoon in The Karate Kid Part II. He had returned to Japan in hopes of renewing his auto distribution contract with Doyona motors, and in a wonderful piece of karma, Yuna has grown up to be the Senior Vice President of Sales for Doyona International. She saves his company. It’s also a wonderful Easter egg. Yuna is played by the original actress too – Traci Toguchi. Toguchi made her acting debut at age 12 as the ‘Girl Bell Ringer’ that Daniel saved in The Karate Kid Part II.  

The visit to Okinawa leaves the door wide open for Chozen and Kumiko to appear in season 4. It’s an exciting prospect. Cobra Kai never dies. 

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Cobra Kai season 3 is streaming now on Netflix.

The post Cobra Kai Season 3: Breaking Down the Karate Kid Part II Easter Eggs appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2JzNloi

[tracklist-fic]

Chapter 1- TEASER

You guys have been patiently waiting for chapter one so here's a bite sized teaser to whet your appetite!

______________________________________________________

Ed's POV

I had pulled up to the bar that he had recommended. I caught myself humming to the beat of one of the more upbeat songs. Figured as much, It'll be stuck in my head the rest of the night.

The first thing I notice when I walk in is the large group of guys gathered at a table being obnoxiously loud. I automatically spot out the leader of the group. Tall, athletic looking, sporting a backwards snapback. As he was shotgunning a beer, his mates chanting Newman! Newman! Newman, I noticed some sort of tattoo running up his arm.

I try and make my way past them, one stumbling out in front of me, almost falling into me. He hits my chest with an open hand in what I guess he thought was an apologetic sort of way.

"Sorry bro."

I just nod, not wanting to get pulled into a drunken spectacle. The bartender sauntered over to me, throwing an irritated look toward the rowdy group. Her eyes rolling before she turned her attention to me.

"Sorry about the douche convention being held tonight. What can I get for you?"

"Whatever's good on tap. I'm not too picky"

She nods, snagging a glass on her way to the tap, her blonde ponytail swaying. The light catching it, causing it to look like spun gold. As she filled my glass I could see her staring at the group of guys, who had somehow managed to get even louder, with a look of disgust. She slid a coaster in front of me before putting down the glass. I thanked her which she acknowledged with a nod before checking on the other patrons at the end of the bar.

As I sat there drinking my beer, I stared at my reflection in the mirror behind the bar. I had to admit I looked a bit pathetic sitting here all by myself. I could see the alpha of the group attempting to rap along to the song that was play. He had flipped his hat around and put aviators on as he waved his fingers around to the beat. A blonde girl had joined the group laughing and brushing her fingers across his chest. Even from here I could see the lust pouring off her.

I decided that if I was going to sit at a bar and drink I should probably eat something. Lunch had wore off long ago and I knew drinking on an empty stomach was a bad idea. I waved down the bartender, who looked even more surly than she did the first time. I knew it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with the group that was now banging on the table. Her tone was polite but she had the air of 'I'm so over all of this.' I did get a slight smile when I ordered loaded fries without the things that actually made it loaded.

When I had asked for the match to be put on I had all intentions of actually watching it but I found myself more invested in the girl than the game. I was appalled when one of the guys swaggered up to the bar demanding drinkings, throwing a crumpled wad of money at her when she asked for payment. It was at that moment, looking at that beautiful face staring down at the balled up money, that I had decided to do whatever it took to make her night just a bit better. The mixing of a cocktail for herself just solidified the decision.

I spent the next couple hours chatting with her but I could tell her attention was elsewhere. Even with the fraction of focus I was receiving I could tell she was a force to be reckoned with. I decided to try my luck and ask if we could meet up sometime. She quickly threw out there she wasn't looking for a relationship. When I had suggested it didn't have to be a date I could see all of her attention being pulled to me. Her posture straightened and I realised she may have been offended. I quickly tried to backpedal but she latched on to the idea saying her shift was done in twenty minutes. The alcohol that I had been consuming throughout the night was urging me to go for it. What's the worst that could happen?

*****************************

Let us know what you think, we're excited to get your feedback!

Chapter 1: coming SOON.

[yehetno]

the third wish

mj/jinjin, genie!Jinjin, 3 wishes, semi-angsty?

~1k words

The first wish is always tentative; the grander ambitions come later.  They need proof that magic is real, a palate teaser, something to whet their appetite that comes without serious ramifications. It is disbelieving, thrown out into the world as a challenge.  They use it as a shortcut to satisfy more difficult desires that could be achieved with enough effort and perseverance. It’s a wish of ease and convenience.

The second wish tends to be the most impactful, the one that wrenches the most power away from the cosmos.  The second wish is the sweet spot where anything can happen because there is a backup wish to fix anything that might go awry.  The wishers delude themselves, thinking that they’re pulling a fast one on fate and the universe.  They try to game the magic gifted upon them, using a wish to accumulate the most stuff that can be pulled together from one wish.

The third wish is the rapid come down from the brief power high.  It’s the one last hoorah of their wishes, and they almost always want some sort of fulfillment, only to be reminded that magic can only do so many things.  Magic cannot manipulate human will, and how their faces fall when they realize that their wishes are superficial gifts.  

Really, he only grants one wish that has consequences, and that’s the second wish.  Jinwoo has cycled through many masters, many wishes, and many tragedies.  It is rare that he finds himself and his magic in the hands of someone who might want to change the world for the better, even rarer for them to withstand the corruption of magic.

Myungjun sits and listens quietly to the rules, processing Jinwoo’s simple words, searching for something in Jinwoo’s face.  He doesn’t seem to be shaken by the implications of magic and Jinwoo’s existence. 

He mulls over it in silence, looking at the three coins that Jinwoo gave him with a sad sort of confusion.  He extends his hand out to Jinwoo, “I don’t want them.”

No one has ever refused his help before, and quite frankly, he doesn’t know if his particular curse allows for the wisher to not claim their wishes.  They’re allowed to waste them away, but the wishes must be made.

Myungjun ultimately spends a lot of time with his wishes, and as a result, for the first time, Jinwoo gets to know one of his masters.  He does not like it.  Myungjun makes him meals and asks him questions, and despite the fact no one is compelling him to answer, he replies and fleshes out intricate stories of past wishes and past lives.  Myungjun listens, enthusiasm and interest mapping out the lines of his face.

Myungjun reminds Jinwoo of what it is like to be human, to care about someone and hope for the best outcomes for them.  He had forgotten that he remains unchanged and unaging as time slipped past him.

When Myungjun makes his first wish, it is so achingly humble that Jinwoo wonders how he came into Myungjun’s hands. He wishes to have enough food on the table every night.  Jinwoo’s wishers are a mix of desperate and ambitious, and their cries to the universe are answered with three wishes.  Some part of them is broken or empty, and they need a little taste of magic to set them on the right course.

At the same time, Jinwoo wants Myungjun not to hastily blow through his wishes.  A flower of fondness has taken root and slowly begun to bloom.  There is rarely more than a breath between the second and third wish, and Jinwoo isn’t prepared to disappear into the ether once more.

Myungjun asks questions about Jinwoo.  He digs around Jinwoo’s hazy past, his humanity, his curse, and his magic.

He asks what happens to Jinwoo when all the wishes are gone.

He asks if Jinwoo wouldn’t mind holding his hand during a scary movie, or would that have to be one of his wishes?

He asks if he can press a soft kiss on Jinwoo’s cheek with a nervous giggle.  If Jinwoo would like to dance to a slow song with him.

He whispers in Jinwoo’s ear that he would rather not make any more wishes; he wants to stay in a magicless limbo with Jinwoo, to keep Jinwoo around by spending his wishes at the very end of his life, to have him for more than a fleeting moment.

It hurts Jinwoo to tell him that he cannot do that.  He needs to use up all of his wishes before bad things start happening.  He almost tells Myungjun that he couldn’t bear the thought of him being hurt just for Jinwoo’s company.  Almost.

Myungjun’s second wish is whispered in a quiet broken voice, doing everything in his power to avoid eye contact with Jinwoo.  It’s obvious that he put a lot of thought into it but never planned on saying it.  He wishes that he could live comfortably, not quite in the lap of luxury, but he wants to have enough so that he can live a fulfilling life without having to worry about sacrificing part of himself.

Jinwoo pockets the coin.  He softly asks, “Are you ready to make the third wish?”

Myungjun shakes his head and retreats into his room.  Jinwoo pretends that he doesn’t hear the sobbing coming from the other side of the door.  He doesn’t talk to Jinwoo for a week, opting to ignore him at every turn.

Jinwoo braces himself for the bitter end when Myungjun cooks a big dinner and invites him to join. Jinwoo thinks that he will miss Myungjun and feel a hollow ache in his chest whenever he comes back into being for his next master.

Myungjun produces his final coin from his pocket, turning it over in his hands and examining it.  He takes a deep breath and kisses it softly for good luck.  

“I wish that you, Park Jinwoo, could follow your heart.”

--

hi, i hope you enjoyed it! friends, i am so tired, but i managed to hit 1k... haha “drabble” why am i like this?

iiiii don’t have much else to say, so we’ll pause it here.

[eddycurrents]

Marvel Legacy is the next in a line of rebranding promotions from Marvel akin to Marvel NOW!, All-New Marvel NOW!, Avengers NOW!, All-New All-Different Marvel, All-New Avengers Marvel Brand New NOW! 2.0 NOW!ER 2099, and you get the idea. Usually these initiatives involve a relaunch of a bevy of new number one issues, a few new titles or a family of titles popping up out of a singular previously successful title, and occasionally some shuffling of creative talent. 

Marvel Legacy only really differs from this in that the titles aren’t being relaunched as new number one issues, rather they’re gaining “legacy numbers” with some series seeing numbers as if their first volume was never cancelled/relaunched. 

Also, many of the Marvel Legacy story-arcs, much like the ad copy and homage covers, look to tap into Marvel’s “rich history of storytelling”. Otherwise, it’s pretty much the same as previous rebranding initiatives.

Marvel Legacy #1

Writer: Jason Aaron | Artist: Esad Ribić with Steve McNiven | Colourist: Matthew Wilson | Additional Artists: Chris Samnee, Russell Dauterman, Alex Maleev, Ed McGuinness, Stuart Immonen & Wade von Grawbadger, Pepe Larraz, Jim Cheung, Daniel Acuña, Greg Land & Jay Leisten, Mike Deodato Jr., David Marquez

Published September 2017

Marvel Legacy #1 functions a lot like the Point One issues that previous Marvel initiatives and relaunches have had, in that it focuses primarily on one central story, and then shows bits and pieces of the rest of the world spinning out into other titles.

Jason Aaron splits the issue into four main interwoven narratives.

The first was used as the selling point of the book and one of the primary marketing campaigns, the introduction of the “One Million BC Avengers”. It’s a team of gods and super-powered beings including Odin, Phoenix, Agamotto, an Iron Fist, a Ghost Rider, a Starbrand, and a Black Panther. Aaron sets them up in battle with a Celestial and, unfortunately, that’s all we really get of them. They’re interesting, but the story doesn’t go particularly in depth with them besides introducing them as the archetypes for the “hosts” we’ll see in one of the other threads.

The second narrative spins out of the one million BC flashback, with Robbie Reyes awakening thinking the events prior as being a dream. Then he gets attacked by Starbrand and most of this sequence remains a long, extended fight scene. In terms of story, it’s probably the weakest part of the book. While it’s heavy on action and allows the art the breathe, it’s a little disjointed. Robbie is displaying powers that he shouldn’t have (he’s technically not a spirit of vengeance) and Starbrand is acting wildly out of character. The former is addressed in story, so both are likely to be intentional character beats, but they don’t lead anywhere.

There is a redeeming quality of this thread, though, because it dovetails an excavation that leads to the modern day reveal of the Celestial. 

The third narrative begins with Loki rousing a band of frost giants to fight on his behalf, then spirits them away to a SHIELD storage facility. This follows a trio of legacy heroes in Jane Foster, Sam Wilson in one of his last turns as Captain America, and Riri Williams as they battle the frost giants trying to get whatever happens to be in the box Loki sent them for. It’s entertaining, and also allows Aaron to provide a gentle rib on legacy heroes sometimes not getting everything right through Riri’s inability to get “Avengers Assemble!” correctly. I also think that “Iron Ma’am” should be adopted over “Ironheart”.

Like the second narrative, this one dovetails a broader story with the return of a character lost for some time, along with what looks like an even larger quest than some solicitations have led us to believe. I won’t spoil the return, but it’s suitably epic. Especially in how Ribić handles the revelation. Just overall it’s a great sequence.

The fourth narrative provides the narration and glue to the issue. The reveal of who’s narrating the story, why, and how it ties together all of the disparate parts including the teasers isn’t revealed until the end of the book. It also features the return of a character I’ll not reveal, but it hints at something more hopeful, more optimistic coming in the future.

Aaron’s Thor: God of Thunder collaborator, Esad Ribić handles the lion’s share of the art here and it’s beautiful. Ribić is deft at action and the weird & wonderful world of gods and monsters, making the sequences with the “One Million BC Avengers” vs. the Celestial and Loki & the Frost Giants look amazing. The design for the Celestial itself is impressive, inviting many returns to its reveal page.

Matthew Wilson does an impeccable job with his colour work here. He changes styles and approaches to suit each sequence and each artist in the book, that you’d kind of think he’s multiple people. While much of the colour over Ribić’s work is somewhat ephemeral, the Ghost Rider/Starbrand sequences take on more bright primary colours, and the more explicit superhero portions show other textures and colour-schemes to differentiate them from the rest. 

Steve McNiven lends a hand to what looks like primarily the Jane Foster, Sam Wilson, and Riri Williams sequences at one of SHIELD’s storage facilities and it acts as an interesting counterpoint to the softer pages with Ribić’s work. It features more flat colouring from Wilson and acts more like “traditional” superhero art, adding a different take on the story. Where much of the rest of the book has an almost ethereal quality to it, these sequences feel much more grounded in reality.

The teasers for other forthcoming stories and characters are pretty nice. 

We get teases for Captain America, Thor, Iron Man, Deadpool, Iron Fist, Doctor Strange, Norman Osborn, The Avengers, Thing & Human Torch, Black Panther, Totally Awesome Hulk, Jean Grey, Guardians of the Galaxy, and a few other hints here and there, and it serves its purpose fairly well in whetting your appetite for some or all of these stories. 

The art alone on these pages is incredible. Particularly the pages from Ed McGuinness, Pepe Larraz, Mike Deodato Jr., Chris Samnee, and Daniel Acuña. These tease really make you want to check out what’s coming in the other Marvel Legacy branded titles. It’s just a shame that in some cases these artists aren’t going to be the ones associated with the forthcoming titles.

It’s not a bad overview of some of the corners of the Marvel Universe, but I think some of the connectivity could have been a bit better in regards to why they’re being included in-story. There’s a reason revealed at the end of the book, but some of the vignettes seem disconnected.

Now, where Marvel Legacy #1 really fails is where it goes next. This issue is incomplete in its story and we don’t know where to look next. The one page vignettes by various artists are relatively self-explanatory, but the story of the 1 million BC Avengers? No idea. The narrative of Loki, the Celestial, and the legacy hosts? Likewise, there’s no indication where this is going to be picked up next. I have a feeling that some of it is going to be followed in the Phoenix Resurrection: Return of Jean Grey series by Matthew Rosenberg and Leinil Francis Yu and another part in Gerry Duggan and Marcus To’s All-New Guardians of the Galaxy, but there are no clear sign pointers.

For something that is meant to lead people further into the wide world of the Marvel Legacy relaunch/rebranding, not having a clear direction for the main story spinning out of the book, at least at launch, is highly detrimental. It just leaves people confused as to what and where they can read further stories. It’s well and good to promote the other Marvel Legacy titles, even obliquely or simply as text pieces at the back of the book, it’s another thing to introduce a major story and not give readers a direction for where to continue reading that story.

It’s one thing to leave an audience wanting more, it’s something else entirely to leave them wanting more wondering if, where, and when there’s even going to be anything more.

This Week’s Legacy Titles

Eight titles kick off the Marvel Legacy repackaging proper, with two titles sporting new legacy numbering, four titles continuing their existing numbering, one new series, and Venom that kind of started the legacy numbering “craze” for Marvel a few months ago.

All of the series purport to start off new storylines, to ease readers in to these jumping on points, although two of them at least are definite continuations of the stories to date. Avengers #672 begins its “Worlds Collide” crossover with its sister title Champions. Jesus Saiz joins the book on art, providing a more traditional style compared to Mike del Mundo. Iceman #6 looks back to his Champions days, with the start of “Champions Reassembled”. Iron Fist #73 begins “Sabretooth: Round Two”, invoking one of the legendary battles in Marvel history from the introduction of Sabretooth back in Iron Fist #14. Jessica Jones #13 hearkens back to one of the most harrowing points in her life with part one of “Return of the Purple Man”.

Royals #9 continues its ongoing story since the first issue, but provides a point for new readers to pick up the series with Javier Rodríguez joining the series as its new regular artist, while plunging headfirst into the Inhuman Progenitor arc. Spirits of Vengeance #1 begins a new mini-series of a team-up of some of Marvel’s horror mainstays by Victor Gischler and David Baldeon. Venom #155 gains Mark Bagley as an artist while it continues its look backwards to Eddie’s days as a “Lethal Protector”, reconciling it with his and the symbiote’s attempts to be more heroic. And finally, X-Men Gold #13 begins its “Mojo Worldwide” crossover with X-Men Blue, bringing back Mojo, who really didn’t go anywhere in the first place. But Mojoworld is fun and equals ratings, right?

d. emerson eddy has no legacy numbering, has never personally been rebooted, and probably doesn’t have any iconic stories anyone remembers.

[douxreviews]

Doctor Who Season 10 Reviews

‘THE PILOT’

Bill: 'I can’t just call you the Doctor. Doctor what?’

I’m not going to lie, I’ve been decidedly lukewarm about season ten. The teasers failed to tease me, the promise of things to come felt decidedly unpromising, and there was a real paucity of genuinely interesting news to whet my appetite. Even the John Simm news leak last week failed to ignite my enthusiasm. And Nardole being upgraded to full-time companion felt like the final kick in the goolies. This is your final season, Steven. Your last chance to go out with a bang. Where are the big names, cool surprises, and the promise of gratuitous ex-companion cameos?

READ MORE

‘SMILE’

Doctor: ‘I met an emperor made of algae once. He fancied me.’

With shades of 'The Happiness Patrol’ and 'Ark in Space’, this felt like an episode from the classic era. Internet consensus seems to be that it was a better episode for Frank Cottrell-Boyce than his earlier effort, 'In the Forest of the Night’. Well, yes it was… but that’s hardly a ringing endorsement. It’s like saying that nappy rash is better than piles. It’s likely true, but you still wouldn’t want either infesting your nether regions.

READ MORE

‘THIN ICE’ 

Doctor: ‘There are situations when the options available are limited.’

Well, this felt more like a Christmas episode than the Christmas episode. It had a festive fair (not to mention festive flair and arrestive hair), falling snow, not too stinky street urchins, and a whopping big Christmas pud with holly on top. This was also Sarah Dollard’s second attempt at a Doctor Who story, and after the unmitigated success of 'Face the Raven’, was it another 'Nightmare in Silver’ (Neil Gaiman’s rather pungent second abomination), or did it reach the lofty heights of Paul Cornell’s 'Human Nature’?

READ MORE

‘KNOCK KNOCK’ 

Bill: ‘Basically, this is the bit of my life you’re not in.’

If I’m honest, this season is turning into what I imagined next season would be, with its vanilla stories, its super-friendly Doctor, and its simpler season arc. Not a bad thing if done correctly, but I can’t help but feel the show’s lost some of its pzazz. I know the convoluted storytelling of seasons five and six was confusing to many (myself included), but I’d sooner be utterly baffled by an episode than have little to say about it.

READ MORE

‘OXYGEN’

Doctor: ‘Bill, I’ve got no TARDIS, no sonic, about ten minutes of oxygen left, and now I’m blind. Can you imagine how unbearable I’m gonna be when I pull this off.’

This felt like the first solid episode of the season—just as I was beginning to fear one would never materialise. The story filled its running time comfortably, its main characters were effectively used, and the CGI was the best we’ve had all season. Even Matt Lucas earned his wages this week. I quite enjoyed Nardole, actually. Not that he added anything essential to the story, but at least I didn’t feel like slapping him.

READ MORE

‘EXTREMIS’

Doctor: ‘In darkness, we are revealed’.

This was the first really interesting episode of the season. After the more linear opening stories, this felt like classic Moffat: with its fractured narrative, ugly-AF bad guys, returning classic adversary, and half-answered questions. Which means the internet’s already whining about not getting enough answers. At the end of the first part of a three-part story. Which actually gave us plenty of answers. Yeah, the internet’s great.

READ MORE

‘THE PYRAMID AT THE END OF THE WORLD’

Bill: ‘How would I know the president? I mean, I wouldn’t have even voted for him. He’s orange.’

After the return to form that was 'Oxygen’ and 'Extremis’, we’re currently three for three after yet another tale reluctant to give up its secrets. I confess, I’m loving the three-part format. Since Chibnall’s no stranger to serialised storytelling, here’s hoping that he milks the crap out of it next season; the show’s clearly so much better when the stories are allowed to breathe. Unless Daleks and Manhattan are involved.

READ MORE

‘THE LIE OF THE LAND’

Doctor: ‘I thought I was just being kind, but I was saving the world.’

As a one-parter, I think this would have been a half-decent episode. As the culmination of a three-part story, however, it felt sadly lacking. It was at times funny, the acting was occasionally excellent, and the premise had oodles of potential. What a pity the conclusion was so weak. It wasn’t quite a love-saves-the-day style cop-out, but it came perilously close.

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‘EMPRESS OF MARS’

Doctor: ‘There’s no setting for wood. Why is there still no setting for wood?’

This was by no stretch of the imagination Mark Gatiss’ best episode, but it was far from being his worst. The dialogue was at times bland, the contrived way in which he split up his three main protagonists clumsy, and Catchlove was a walking cliche. Thankfully, the return of the Ice Warriors and an unexpected voice cameo from Ysanne Churchman injected some interest into the proceedings—I just wish there’d been more Nardy. There, I said it and the world didn’t end.

READ MORE

‘THE EATERS OF LIGHT’

‘That’s the trouble with hope… it’s hard to resist.’

I almost never read spoiler-free reviews prior to an episode airing, but with tonight’s story heralding the return of Rona Munro, after a wait of almost 28 years, I couldn’t seem to help myself. I’m not going to lie: the reviews were less than dazzling. One described 'The Eaters of Light’ as 'underdeveloped’, another called some of its plot elements 'forced’, and a third complained about the now customary mention of Bill’s lesbianism. Personally, I found it rather enjoyable. Which confirms what I’ve suspected for some time now: I am hopelessly at odds with what virtually everyone else is thinking.

READ MORE

[twh-news]

When asked what fans can expect from the latest instalment of Thor, director Taika Waititi somewhat unhelpfully says it will be “Taika-esque”.

Asked if he could perhaps describe it in literally any other way, he laughs. “I can’t! There’s no way!”

As far as whetting the appetites of Marvel fanatics goes, it’s a little counterproductive. Thor: Ragnarok will be watched by many more people who are familiar with the franchise than those who know Waititi’s work – but this may be the film that makes the New Zealand director a household name.

The big-budget Thor is a far cry from the Flight of the Conchords, of which Waititi wrote and directed a few episodes, and from What We Do In The Shadows, the 2014 vampire mockumentary he made with Jemaine Clement. And it’s almost the antithesis of Hunt for the Wilderpeople: the family friendly little-Kiwi-film-that-could, which was a surprise hit at box offices around the world last year.

But while the types of projects may differ wildly, his treatment of them – the bit that makes them “Taika-esque” – doesn’t. Even Waititi’s government-funded anti-drug-driving campaign, Tinnyvision – made in collaboration with Snapchat in 2014 – has the same warm, sly humour of his features.

And yet, after 41 years’ experience of being “Taika-esque” himself, he still struggles to describe it.

“If someone asked, ‘What are your films like?’, the best I can come up with is that they’re, like, a fine balance between comedy and drama. And they deal mainly with the clumsiness of humanity.”

Well, that’s definitely true of Tinnyvision.

As evidenced by his decision to set Ragnarok outside the Marvel universe – a ballsy move, given the size of the fandom and budget in question – Waititi is one to do things his own way. And it’s paying off.

Hunt for the Wilderpeople reportedly made as much as US$23m worldwide (with takings of more than $8m in its home country) and spent some eight weeks in the top 10 at the Australian box office. It placed among the top 100 films of all time on Rotten Tomatoes, where it is 97% “certified fresh” from 171 reviews, and was the New York Times and LA Times’ critics’ pick, as well as Empire magazine’s film of the year.

“I knew it would play well with audiences, I just didn’t know if anybody would have any idea how to market it or sell it or get people in cinemas to see it ... It’s not like [New Zealand is] known for churning out really big blockbusters every year.”

At home, Waititi has gone from hit to bigger hit. His first feature film, the oddball romantic comedy Eagle vs Shark, was nominated for the grand jury prize at the Sundance film festival in 2007 – as was his second, Boy, in 2010.

He may not be quite as big a celebrity as his long-time collaborator Clement, with whom he won New Zealand’s top comedy award as the Humourbeasts in 1999, but he’s close. And when Hunt for the Wilderpeople became the highest-grossing local film at the New Zealand box office in May last year, it broke Boy’s record. (At the time, Waititi called it “the happiest and saddest day of my career”.)

In late February, Waititi was named the New Zealander of the year. I ask where the honour ranks in among nominations at the Academy Awards and Sundance and wins at festivals in Berlin, Edinburgh, Hawaii, Melbourne, Taipei, Toronto and Warsaw.

“It’s up there,” he answers. “There are a lot of nominations for things I never won and this is something I actually did win – it feels like I’ve followed through on this one.”

Waititi’s Academy Award nomination came in 2005 – before any of his feature films – for his 11-minute short Two Cars, One Night. He infamously pretended to be asleep during the ceremony.

That outsider’s mentality has persisted, despite the successes of the interim 12 years. The best picture fiasco of this year’s Academy Awards was “great”, he says. “I loved it. I thought it was hilarious ... They take this stuff so seriously, don’t they? It’s almost like launching a rocket into space.” Sam Neill: New Zealand cinema is 'like nothing else on the planet' Read more

Keeping a home far away from Hollywood has been grounding for Waititi; it’s hard to get caught up in all the glitz and self-importance from New Zealand, where he and his family are based. He has two daughters, aged four and one, and a stepson with his wife, the producer Chelsea Winstanley.

But another way to look at his geographical distance is as a buffer, or a safety net. You can always go home again – and why wouldn’t you, when you’re already a massive success there?

“Having had pretty much four successful films at home, I know there’s an audience for my work,” he says. “A lot of people are trying to get out of their home country and think ‘making it’ is if you’re able to work in another. For me ... I’d be quite content to keep doing my own little films down there for the rest of my filmmaking career.”

The New Zealand Film Commission will be glad to hear that, I say.

“That’s why I said it,” he replies.

That may all change, with Thor: Ragnarok set to be by far the biggest commercial success of his career to date. (Thor: The Dark World made $644m worldwide in November 2013.)

With Cate Blanchett, Jeff Goldblum and Wilderpeople star Sam Neill joining Chris Hemsworth and Mark Ruffalo, anticipation is high for the third instalment of the franchise – not least because Waititi, with his background in indie comedies, was such an unusual pick.

The day we speak, the first stills from the film have been released, with Blanchett, Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson in character on the cover of Entertainment Weekly.

Social media is delighted with Goldblum’s turquoise eyeliner (“If the new Thor film is nothing but Goldblum sitting silently looking like this, then I will still see it six times,” says one tweeter) but mixed on Hemsworth’s short hair.

Waititi is unfazed: “Crazier things happen to Thor than new hair.”

His apparent lack of reverence for the Marvel universe – illustrated in part by the mockumentary-style teasers that have been released in the film’s lead-up – led Forbes to call Ragnarok the studio’s “wild card” for 2017; others have taken it as a vote of confidence in Waititi’s pitch.

“Why am I excited for Thor: Ragnarok?” wrote film critic Sarah Marrs. “Because Taika Waititi talked Marvel into overhauling an entire franchise, AND THEY LET HIM.”

Waititi says. “I’ve always felt that I wanted to make a Marvel film ... I just want to make sure I’m not making an episode.”

With the film due out in November, he will be based in Los Angeles until the end of the year. For the first time ever in his career, he has an office, he says. The challenge seems to be battling against his short attention span.

“With Thor, I’m trying not to do any other things. ... There’d be nothing worse than the film not being as good as I think it’s going to be because I didn’t spend enough time on it. I don’t want my focus pulled away, as it usually is.”

Still, he admits he’s starting to make plans for life after Ragnarok, considering which of four of his own scripts to tackle next – “something super-fast and a bit more carefree”. A werewolf spin-off of What We Do In The Shadows and the stop-motion animation Bubbles, about Michael Jackson’s pet chimp, are also on the cards.

Waititi likens his approach to filmmaking to a buffet. “I want to try every little every thing from either end. I don’t want to go straight to the chicken. I’ll put some grapes on the plate, a bit of gravy and mix it all up.”

But that analogy – the mixing of the grapes with the gravy – suggests an indiscriminate approach, when Waititi is picky about what projects he takes on – particularly when others’ ideas tend to interest him less than his own. Ragnarok was not the first big-budget Hollywood script he’d been sent, he says – it was simply the first he’d felt moved to take up.

Waiti wrote the first script of the Disney animation Moana before opting in 2012 to return to New Zealand to make What We Do In The Shadows. He’d just had a child. “I basically didn’t want to be living here, working in an office, writing someone else’s movie,” he says.

All that remains of his original script is “EXT: OCEAN – DAY”, he jokes. But the final product was “good”.

“I was relieved it was not insulting to Pacific cultures. That was a big worry for me. I was very nervous about it. You often ask yourself, ‘Oh my god, do I get involved with something like this?’”

Waititi is half-Māori himself and much of his work is steeped in New Zealand’s indigenous culture, celebrating that which makes it unique – particularly its humour – while not shying away from the challenges it faces. (His attention goes beyond simple representation: he said hiring Indigenous people to work on Thor was his “responsibility” as a filmmaker.)

Boy, set in a remote coastal village much like the one Waititi grew up in, revels in the comedy and joy to be found in the midst of poverty. He told NPR that part of its appeal was that it did not perpetuate stereotypes: “Indigenous people in films, it’s all like nose flutes and panpipes and, you know, people talking to ghosts ... which I hate.”

These considerations were front of mind when he was approach for Moana. “I thought, well, the best way of them not making something that’s insensitive or shallow was to involve people from that community, from the Pacific ... If there’s some way I could be at the table and help try and make this not a bad film, then I’ll try.”

His involvement ended with the first draft. “It wasn’t anything to do with the process, I just got b–”. He stops short of saying “bored” but not quite short enough. “Like I do all the time, I just ended up wanting to do my own thing again and make a vampire movie instead.”

Waititi’s script – focusing more on Moana’s family relationships – contributed an irreverent, “very Pacific humour” to the film, according to producer Osnat Shurer. Shurer also said it gave the filmmakers “permission to continue down that road, because he’s from that culture”.

Waititi thinks they could have taken it further. “I know the danger is they’ve got to be respectful but Pacific islanders and Polynesians have some of the least respectful humour on the planet,” he says, laughing.

“[But], as Americans making a film about another culture, and having been criticised in the past for their depictions of minorities, they have to be a bit safer.”

At least there’s a Polynesian Disney princess now, I offer? Waititi doesn’t sound convinced: “Yeah. I guess so. Yeah. I dunno. Haha! I dunno. Luckily, through the phone, you can’t see my face.”

Waititi is not good at censoring himself – or, at least, not fast enough. He often stops himself short as, I imagine, he pictures his words in print and what doors they might close for him. One he seems happy to shut himself is a future biopic, which he volunteers as “the worst type of movie”, committing the cardinal sin of being boring.

“They’re always subject to such scrutiny. Like ... ‘Oh, they really learned to play piano, they went around wearing blue suede shoes for the entire shoot’.

“I think, why is that interesting for an actor? Who cares?”

The way Waititi hates biopics, I note, is the way many people hate films like the Marvel movies: big blockbuster franchises built on sequels to sequels, held up as the antithesis of the small indie films he’s best known for back home. Is it possible for the two to coexist?

“So far they’re existing well for me,” he says. “I know that after this I’ll go back and do an independent film. Then I’ll hopefully come back and do another studio thing. I would kind of like to dwell between both worlds.”

[thekabbydaily]

Previewing ‘The 100’ season 4, episode 2, ‘Heavy Lies the Crown’

SELINA WILKEN 9:19 PM EST, FEBRUARY 3, 2017

The 100 returned strong with “Echoes,” but the second episode of season 4 is even better.

After a fantastic season 4 premiere, it’s hard to imagine that The 100 gets better from here — but it really, truly does.

“The burden of leading weighs heavily upon Clarke and Bellamy when different challenges force them to determine who will live and die.”

The crown truly does lie heavy in this deceptive and cleverly titled episode that explores the moral complexities of doing ‘the right thing’ for one’s people.

To tide you over until next Wednesday, we’ve put together a spoiler-light teaser article to whet your appetite for The 100 season 4, episode 2, “Heavy Lies the Crown.” Follow the butterflies…

1. It’s all in the details

“Heavy Lies the Crown” was written by Justine Juel Gillmer, who also brought us the tense and terrifying, yet comfortingly delinquent-centric “Demons.” This episode is similarly harrowing, but below the drama the main focus is still on the core character dynamics.

One of my favorite moments of “Heavy Lies the Crown” is small and narratively insignificant: In the middle of a tense sequence, Bellamy reaches out to hold Harper back, anticipating her reaction before she even has it. It’s a subtle reminder of how well these characters know each other and, more importantly, how aware the show is of all the dynamics, even those that aren’t ‘relevant’ to the main story. The attention The 100 pays to its non-romantic, relatively minor relationships provides extra layers of meaning to every scene, and is one of the things I love most about the show.

And Harper and Bellamy aren’t the only characters whose dynamic is put under the microscope this week. The episode sheds light on both old and new relationships and rewards fans who’ve been paying attention to the emotional development of the lead and supporting players over the course of the series.

2. The Bravenlarke of it all

As I discussed at length in my review of “Echoes,” Bellamy and Clarke emerged from the tower in Polis as true partners in leadership. Not because they agree on everything, as they certainly don’t, but because they’re able to understand and respect the other’s point of view, and balance each other out.

As Jason Rothenberg said in our recent interview, Bellamy remains “mostly heart” in their heart/brain dynamic, but he also pointed out that Clarke can’t fully be the ‘brain,’ being “obviously smart as hell, but also very compassionate.”

Enter Raven, whose pragmatic perspective in “Heavy Lies the Crown” completes what we might call the ‘triangle of leadership.’ While Clarke is looking for a way to save everyone, Raven is more realistic, and wants Clarke to accept that this might not be possible, and instead focus on saving as many people as they can.

While Clarke and Raven debate the moral dilemma of ‘all’ vs ‘many,’ Bellamy has to make a decision between ‘many’ and ‘few.’ The promo for this episode reveals that he and his team have to decide whether to bring the hydro-generator they’ve recovered in Ice Nation home to help save a larger group of people in six months, or blow it up to save a group of slaves today. It’s an impossible choice, and ultimately a huge crossroads moment not just for Bellamy, but for everyone involved.

In many ways, this is the episode in which both Clarke and Bellamy figure out what kind of leaders they want to be. Clarke is particularly conflicted, ultimately finding the top a very lonely place to be before discovering that there is, in fact, one other person in Arkadia who truly understands her position.

Meanwhile, Raven, not wearing a heavy crown of leadership (yet?), is firm in her convictions and bolstered by scientific superiority. The dynamic between Bellamy, Clarke and Raven and the points of view they represent should definitely spark some big debates in fandom in the weeks to come.

3. Say hello to your new friend(s)

“Heavy Lies the Crown” introduces a couple of new characters. As the promo stills reveal, this is the episode in which we meet Ilian, a new recurring character played by Chai Romruen.

Before the season started, Ilian was one of the two characters I was most excited to see (the other being Tati Gabrielle’s, who was briefly seen last week shouting, “This is blasphemy!”), and let’s just say I wasn’t disappointed. His introduction scene is harrowing and should inspire instant sympathy.

The episode also marks the first appearance of Stonewall actor Ben Sullivan, who plays Riley. I assumed he’d be a one-off character, but according to IMDb, he’s set to recur throughout the season. I’ll leave the how and why up to speculation.

All I’ll say about Riley at this point is that he’s a member of Skaikru and not a total stranger to our heroes, but there’s a very good reason we haven’t seen him before now.

4. Kabby patties, brace yourselves

Meanwhile in Polis, the newly appointed Skaikru Ambassador is still fully convinced he can save the world through diplomacy. Isn’t Kane just the best?

Abby is still treating Roan, who — probably like every bad patient she’s ever had — insists that he totally doesn’t need more than a couple of days to recover from a bullet wound. Y’know, #JustGrounderStuff.

But don’t worry, there are several scenes of Kabby together, too, including a moment we’ve all been waiting for. That’s not what you need to brace yourselves for, though, because there’s a lot more to come for them. Not to be dramatic or anything, but this episode will make you feel all the feels.

5. Long live the king?

So much for the Age of Azgeda: Aside from his #1 fan Echo and the Skaikru dream-team, Roan and his very heavy (looking) crown is not exactly a hit with the Grounders. A new clan is introduced this week (in fact, watch closely and you might learn the names of all the clans), whose leader poses a particular threat.

It’s already proving tough for Roan to justify keeping Skaikru in the coalition without revealing the truth about what they’re trying to do, and this episode makes it clear that both Clarke and Roan took a huge leap of faith in “Echoes” by trusting the other. Because, as Echo points out, who’s to say Clarke isn’t lying to save her people’s skin?

Meanwhile, Octavia comes into her Skai Rippah role in a big way, and her steely focus on her appointed task should chill you to the bone. She’s committed to keeping Roan safe, taking Bellamy’s instruction very seriously — perhaps even too seriously — yet an edge of sincerity reveals itself in a sobering exchange with newcomer Ilian.

Yes, the post-Lincoln Octavia is deceptively devoid of emotion, but we all know the fire is brewing just underneath the surface. Marie Avgeropoulos’ acting this week is off the charts, and the disconnect between her and Kane’s diplomatic strategies is surely a sign of things to come.

Above all else, “Heavy Lies the Crown” is about choices. Through the tribulations of current and past leaders, the episode reveals some uncomfortable truths about the burden of leadership, and further adds to The 100‘s over-arching narrative of “there are no good guys.”

The episode is also about friendship and loyalty, at once celebrating and challenging how much the delinquents love and trust each other. A lot of things will be thrown up in the air by episode’s end, opening up for exciting new possibilities.

‘

The 100‘ season 4, episode 2 airs Wednesday at 9/8c on The CW

[glittership]

Episode #31 -- "Parts" by Paul Lorello

Download this episode (right click and save) And here’s the RSS feed: http://glittership.podbean.com/feed/

      “PARTS” IS A GLITTERSHIP ORIGINAL

Parts

by Paul Lorello

I honestly don’t think anyone on Earth was ever happier than Jake was when Bobo Schmuley’s index finger arrived by Special Courier on Tuesday. I was the one who got stuck signing for it and paying the non-breakability reward while Jake stood right there in the sub-cooler, jumping up and down and slapping at his sides.

I held the parcel out at him. He grabbed it hungrily and tore it open and he took out Bobo Schmuley’s finger and held it up to the light and turned it around—this pallid, hairy thing, stubbier than I thought it would be. He smiled, and I’ll confess now that it gave me a soft spot to see him made so happy by simple pleasures. He’d make up for it by the end of the week, but I did have that one soft spot at that moment.

  Full transcript after the cut.

[Intro music plays]

Hello! Welcome to GlitterShip, episode 31 for January 11, 2017. This is your host, Keffy, and I’m super excited to be sharing this story with you.

Before I get started, I’d like to let you know about a slight format change for GlitterShip. If you enjoy listening to GlitterShip via podcast or reading the fiction on our website as the stories are released, don’t worry! That’s not going to change. However, GlitterShip’s stories will be released in 4 seasonal issues per year starting this month with Winter 2017. These issues will be available to purchase at the beginning of the season in EPUB, MOBI and PDF format and will include three months’ worth of stories. If you like what we do here and would like to support GlitterShip, as well as get an electronic copy of the stories to keep, check out GlitterShip.com/buy.

Our story this week is a GlitterShip original: “Parts” by Paul Lorello.

Paul Lorello is a freelance writer from Ronkonkoma, New York. His fiction has appeared in Big Pulp’s Kennedy Curse anthology, Black Chaos: Tales of the Zombie, Membrane, The Big Adios, Way Out West, and Pseudopod. In 2014, the Pseudopod podcast of Paul’s story, “Growth Spurt”, was chosen as the winner of the coveted Parsec Award for Best Speculative Fiction Short Story. Paul lives with three quadrupeds and one biped. He knows very little about everything.

    Parts

by Paul Lorello

      I honestly don’t think anyone on Earth was ever happier than Jake was when Bobo Schmuley’s index finger arrived by Special Courier on Tuesday. I was the one who got stuck signing for it and paying the non-breakability reward while Jake stood right there in the sub-cooler, jumping up and down and slapping at his sides.

I held the parcel out at him. He grabbed it hungrily and tore it open and he took out Bobo Schmuley’s finger and held it up to the light and turned it around—this pallid, hairy thing, stubbier than I thought it would be. He smiled, and I’ll confess now that it gave me a soft spot to see him made so happy by simple pleasures. He’d make up for it by the end of the week, but I did have that one soft spot at that moment.

Jake had about sixteen more bids on other parts of Bobo Schmuley. He feverishly browsed them, like watching all these little pots of water set to boil. I failed to mention that this was merely his latest acquisition. That more of Bobo Schmuley was gathered up in a stoneware bowl in Jake’s room. They listed the items for auction piecemeal. Bit by bit, as it were. Whet the appetites of folks like Jake for as long as they possibly could, issuing little teasers on newstables and crawl signs, a scroll on the side of a community car—as if the community car industry hadn’t already sold out—Bobo Schmuley’s Uvula Coming Soon! Or something like that. The heads would turn and suddenly there would be this electric buzz in the air. And then would come sounds from the detractors, who blow these little horns that go skeeeeeet, as they shout their little slogans. I was always one with them in spirit, though I always knew enough to keep my gob stopped. Get a few detractors who’d been sniffing Sour Air and mix them up with these fervent Schmuley devotees and you’ve got yourself a riot, my friend. Add to that a heat index of 123 Fahrenheit and the thing becomes not so much a war as an unbearable nuisance, with a lot of screaming and fainting and throwing up and very little progress in terms of one side triumphing over the other.

I also didn’t mention that this was about the time that I started conversing with Jake seriously on the subject. “This will be over sooner rather than later,” I said. “Sooner or later,” I said, “they’ll run out of Bobo Schmuley. Then what will you do?”

He ignored me the first few times I brought it up. Then it started getting to him. He’d rub at his little frozen blue nose and then the teeth and the fists would clench and the eyes would widen and he’d start to tremble all over. I have to admit I found it amusing. He knew it. It made him angrier.

But he kept on. I couldn’t understand why. It’s not like he’d ever have a complete Bobo Schmuley. No one would. There was only one, and they were going to run out of him soon. Sure, there were counterfeits out there, but they were easy to spot. Easy for Jake, that is, and anyone else who was serious about collecting.

  Here’s what happened. A day or so later, Jake came in and started rummaging through the kitchen chest freezer, torso deep.

“That’s not sanitary,” I called to him. He ignored me.

His legs flailed around, flopping sort of, like a fish or that Sloppy Epileptic toy that people were all up in a tizzy about a couple of years ago.

It’s technic, stupid hectic,

Mucho apoplectic

Sloppy Epileptic!

Whooooooo?

Sloppy Epileptic!

Batteries not included.

So I got up. “You do realize you’re making an unholy irritant of yourself.” And that’s when I saw he had a screwdriver in his hand and was chipping away at the rime on the inside of the chest. His mouth was open and his teeth were clenched and he was breathing in gusts and tears and there was spit flying onto the fishstick boxes.

“Fuck you, Miles,” he said, chipping with his syllables. “Fucking. Unit. In the. Sub. Cooler is. Fucked. Fuck. Fuck you.”

And it didn’t take a brain surgeon to understand, because he kept his parts in the sub-cooler and there was going to be Holy Hell on Earth if they spoiled. I looked through the sub-cooler window and saw a thin fog forming in splashes across it. The real problem was that we spent most of our daylight hours in the sub-cooler. To hell with his parts. To hell with Bobo Schmuley. Of course I didn’t say this.

Jake stabbed a coil or something because all of a sudden the room was flooded with this hammy smell of leaking coolant gas.

“Now you done it! Now you went and messed up our cooler and messed up our whole apartment with that stink!”

He dropped the screwdriver into the chest and used both of his chunky hands to gather up the shards of ice he’d managed to free, cursing the whole way because the cold was stinging his fingers. He ran into the sub-cooler and I watched him through the window. He stood before the bowl, looking panicked. Then he dropped the ice pieces next to his bowl of parts and then took off his shirt, laid it next to the bowl, and carefully placed his collection of parts onto it. Then he gathered up the ice and dumped it hastily into the bowl and carefully lifted the shirt and put it on top of the ice. This endearing combination look of satisfaction and triumph and relief came over his face, and he wiped his hands on his pants, then looked around as if there was another shirt in there somewhere. Then he came out.

“That was absolutely poetic,” I said.

He pointed at the room, his mouth a rictus. He looked through the window, I guess to make sure he was pointing in the right direction, then looked back at me. “The fucking unit.”

“I know,” I said. “And now take a whiff.”

He did so. “What’s that?”

“Coolant. And you’re coming with me to go buy another chest. And you’re gonna go halfsies on it.”

“What about the sub-cooler?” he said, defeated.

“I might be able to fix it. But get your shoes on.”

And so we went out to the community car stop and there was this argument in process. Two sourheads were screaming at a young woman with a daisy graft on her chin.

Daisychins were, in those days, by and large, crazy about parts, and this one probably made an excited comment about an upcoming release, incurring the wrath of the sourheads.

Jake took her side, and I had to take his. And now it was three against two. Two sourheads, that is, which is like arguing with four regular people, each of whom speak a different language.

They said that Bobo Schmuley probably wasn’t a real guy anyway. And they said that Bobo Schmuley’s best parts were all taken and all that was left were grubs and inferior arteries and so forth. And anyway, they said, get a life. And besides, they said, agents of the everclear are everywhere. Their go-to slogan.

I agreed with them silently.

One of the sourheads lunged forth to bite Jake’s face. I swatted at him. Probably not the best idea, as now we’d drawn a crowd. And as luck would have it, a community car rolled by and scrolled another message about Coming soon! Bobo Schmuley’s Liver! Bid or Be Smashed! And someone shouted that there was absolutely no way there was a liver up for grabs. Jake and the daisychin were red in the face. Redder, that is. We were all red in the face. And we were all sweating profusely out there. Community car stops have no coolers.

I put my hands on Jake’s shoulders in an attempt to reel him in. His muscles were ropey and tense.

“Miles,” he screamed at me. That’s all he said. Then he turned to the sourheads. “Goddammit, go back to Wildwood!”

Wildwood was a low-income suburb in those days. The phrase “Go back to Wildwood” was a terrible insult back then.

There was this eerie, momentary calm, the kind that is usually needed once class warfare is invoked, so that everyone can consider where they stand.

The sourheads pulled out these homemade whizzers that sparked when they switched them on, and that spat sparks intermittently all over the place. And I said, “Now, hold it.” And I put up a hand.

That’s when someone blindsided one of the sourheads with a fist in the ear. I heard a whizzer amp up and the subsequent shaky squeal from its target. The car stop suddenly looked like it looks when a cyclone hits a grain silo. It looked exactly like that. I managed to pull Jake out of that mess.

We didn’t talk at all for the rest of our errand. We got the chest and scheduled a Special Courier delivery and went halfsies on the price. I had to spot Jake his half because he went and bought a new stoneware bowl for his parts. I should probably say here, though I probably don’t need to, that I hated how Jake just threw the parts into a stoneware bowl without bothering to display them. What good is it if you don’t display your collection to its best advantage? But that’s the way it was with parts, I found out. Most people who collected them just threw them into a bowl.

  I couldn’t fix the element in the sub-cooler. Which meant that it would be a good week we’d have to spend in the heat. Jake was especially sheepish about it when he asked me if we could please keep his parts in the new chest freezer. I couldn’t say no. The last thing I needed was to have him blowing hairs off my head about his parts going warm. For lack of a better thing to do, and a little out of curiosity, I went to help him transfer them from their little stoneware home in the ever-warming sub-cooler to the new freezer. Jake was ecstatic beyond measure to be doing this. He proudly exhibited his parts, holding them regally as he marched them from room to room. I thought they were rather pathetic, particularly for their unremarkability. Nowhere was there an ear or a tongue or a tooth. Nothing really any average person could name save for the sole finger, which was truly his most prized possession among a bleak and withered assortment of muscles, tendons, and odd, jigsaw cuts of membrane.

And here’s what had happened. In the altercation at the comcar stop the day before, one of the sourheads had dropped an air cap. I saw it gleaming on the ground there like a little bullet and I snatched it up. I’d always wanted to try Sour Air, and anyway it was just one cap. And when we were done transferring the parts and Jake was brushing his hands together for a job well done, I went into my cube and got out the cap and huffed it. Good and deep.

Sour Air is elegantly poor, like cheap aftershave.

And when I came back into the room, I saw Jake standing there with the freezer open, smiling down on his parts like a proud papa.

“You’re never going to have the whole person,” I said. The Sour Air was making me itch all over on the inside. “And anyway you keep ruining our days with those things.”

I was not at my most eloquent, but I honestly don’t think anyone could be so in my situation.

Jake bit his upper lip and breathed through his nose and then he turned his back to me. Then he shook a little and whipped around in a frenzy. “You prove to me they aren’t him!”

I had said nothing about them not being Bobo Schmuley. And I told him so.

“Fuck you, Miles,” he said, fully composed. “I always figured you for a detractor.”

The drug was a wonderful thing, for it evened me out where I needed it. “Let’s talk this over in the sub-cooler,” I said calmly. “It’s warming up, but it’s a lot better than standing out here.”

He was cowering beneath me.

I said, “Jake, it’s a beautiful day outside.”

He said something about me not knowing what I was talking about. I found I was okay with that.

“Jake, you are parts obsessed, and it has to stop.”

I had blood on my hand. Under my nails.

  And then what happened was I was waking up someplace else. I was in the sub-cooler, and it was dark, and I was lying down, and Jake was sitting next to me and cradling his wrist and weeping silently.

I won’t go through the whole scenario, only that Jake told me through his tears that I’d been screaming nonsense when I grabbed his wrist and tore it open with my nails, and I said the most awful things to him and about his parts.

His sobs got heavier. “I… felt like… I was… dying… inside… when you… did… that…”

I sat up. My head screamed in pain and there was a dull buzzing or ringing inside there somewhere, fading as if attached to a dream. I caressed the back of his neck and he shriveled up and then let go all at once, sobbing miserably. I think I was crying too. I don’t remember. It was a terrible day that ended in a terrible night.

I woke up the next morning and Jake was still asleep, curled up like a dog next to me. We were both drenched in sweat. The browser wall lit up with a silent message that said Jake had won another auction. A five-inch sliver of Bobo Schmuley’s right shoulder blade would be arriving soon. I had a tough time deciding whether to wake him or let him sleep, trying to think which would be worse. I came to the conclusion that letting him sleep through it would be worse, but I didn’t want to wake him. I didn’t want to have to get excited about parts. I was through pretending.

  The next day was when the bad stuff happened. Jake’s new part arrived. The Special Courier was a snarling thing that stunk of Sour Air and chicken scat.

Special Couriers get bad press so often it’s hard not to join in sometimes.

I gave the parcel to Jake. He kept his head down when he grabbed it from me, and he took it into his cube in the sub-cooler.

About an hour later he emerged with this dour look on his face. He pointed behind him. “Scapula,” he said. Then he slunk back into his cube. A minute or two later, I heard him call.

“Come in here, Miles. It’s highly probable that I don’t know what I’m talking about.”

Grudgingly I went, knowing full well it would come to no good end. Jake was holding up two identical pieces of bone.

“It can’t be a dupe,” he said.

“They’re the same,” I said. “A scapula is – what do you call it? What do you call something that’s different when it’s either left or right?”

He shifted his gaze from one part to the other.

“Well, that does it then,” I said, and I left him there.

The heat was unbearable. The sub-cooler regulator part was due to arrive in six days. We bought a couple of ice dollies to sleep with. That helped a little.

Sometime the next afternoon, I realized Jake had not spoken to me for the past twelve hours. I guess you don’t pay any attention to certain things you’d rather not admit to, or maybe there is a superstitious wrinkle in all of us that makes us afraid to notice something for fear that it may not actually be there. Whatever the case, I was grateful for Jake’s silence. I could keep to myself and read, and sniff Sour Air – I neglected to mention that I ordered a case of caps the day after my first experience with the stuff. It came later on in the day. The package had been tampered with and the case was three caps short. It’s no secret that Special Couriers palm a couple here, a couple there. I filed a euthanization request against the Special Courier that delivered the parcel. Back then, you still had to submit euthanization requests in person. I was lucky that I didn’t have to wait long on line. I’d heard horror stories.

I should hear back in four weeks to schedule my secondary assessment exam. By then I probably won’t be interested anymore.

I looked up and there was Jake holding a piece of ice to his lip, tears streaming down his doughboy face.

  The air made me not care about Jake so much. It even gave me a strange confidence about the future—and I know why it is that sourheads are often regarded as psychics.

But then I saw him standing there with a bag of stuff

packed. And I looked and the new stoneware bowl was gone. I didn’t want to look in the new freezer, but I did. He watched me look and he didn’t say anything.

I brought him into the sub-cooler and told him to sit.

“Jake, this is all about parts, isn’t it? Parts caused all this. And now parts are gonna end it. I’ll collect them with you, and we’ll start new, OK? We’ll make it like nothing ever happened, and your wrist and your lip’ll get better and there’ll be parts for everyone, right? Bobo Schmuley forever, and all that?”

He breathed through his nose. It looked as though acquiescence was trying to escape in a sneeze. “Mm-mm, no. No.”

“Come on, Jake. Be a man.”

“No. You don’t get it. Because underneath it all, you don’t believe. And you hit me.”

I went to take his head but he shrunk away. “I’m sorry I tore your wrist and hit you in the face, Jake.”

He didn’t respond to that, and it made me more ashamed to look at him. I was thinking maybe the air caps were a bad idea to begin with, as it amplified every emotion. So I decided never again with those blasted things.

“I’m moving out, Miles.”

“Don’t do that,” I said, huffing another cap.

“No, I can’t stay. You hate me enough to want to do some serious damage like this.” Here he fingered the medi-skin patch on his wrist.

There was a buzz of hate and fear inside me. “Who’s going to take care of you?”

“Don’t worry about me,” he said. “I won’t be hurt anymore by you, and that’s all that matters right now. All’s I know is I can’t stay here.” Here he started to cry. His chin was on his chest.

I told him the sub-cooler part was coming soon.

“You can abuse me all you want, but don’t tell me my parts aren’t from the real man.”

I know I shook my head to this.

Jake rubbed his eyes with the collar of his dingey shirt. “I’ve been doing a lot of mulling over this the past twenty-four. Miles, if you’re gonna get along in life, you have to understand something…” He took a couple of long, clear breaths with no sob-sucking in between. “You can’t tell me, or anyone for that matter, that their parts don’t belong to anyone. Because if there isn’t a name attached, it’s just parts. Y’understand? Without a name, we’re all just parts. Do you understand?”

I needed some more air, and even while I squirmed, he even had the audacity to put his hand on my arm. “Do you understand, Miles?”

I thought about it for a moment. “Then I’ll kill you,” I said, “and sell your parts under the name Bobo Schmuley.”

It was a terrible thing to say. I wish I hadn’t said it.

Jake left. He hasn’t been back.

I hadn’t known he was capable of this.

I’m scared he’s gonna be hurt out there. I’m afraid he’ll get killed. And I’m afraid to find out if he does. And I don’t ever want to hear about parts.

END

  “Parts” is copyright Paul Lorello, 2017.

This recording is a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives license which means you can share it with anyone you’d like, but please don’t change or sell it. Our theme is “Aurora Borealis” by Bird Creek, available through the Google Audio Library.

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Thanks for listening, and I’ll be back soon with a reprint of “The Subtler Art” by Cat Rambo.

[Music plays out]

Episode #31 — “Parts” by Paul Lorello was originally published on GlitterShip

[gokinjeespot]

off the rack #1252

Monday, March 4, 2019

 I believe in Karma and try hard to live by that do unto others rule. While off loading our stock after another good Capital Trade Show at the Walkley Arena yesterday I noticed that we had left one very important piece of equipment behind. When I drove back to the arena to see if it was still there I found it where we left it by the back doors. Boy was I ever relieved. Sometimes good things happen to people who try to be good.

 The Avant-Guards #2 - Carly Usdin (writer) Noah Hayes (art) Rebecca Nalty (colours) Ed Dukeshire (letters). I love this basketball book mostly because of the characters. Will Charlie join the team? Read this terrific little gem to find out.

 Heroes in Crisis #6 - Tom King (writer) Clay Mann (art pages 1 & 20) Mitch Gerads (art pages 2 to 19) Mitch Gerads & Tomeu Morey (colours) Clayton Cowles (letters). Gnarrk, Wally West/Flash and Harley Quinn are featured in this issue that includes a beautiful poem by John Keats. Who says comic books don't provide some literature?

 Action Comics #1008 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Steve Epting (art) Brad Anderson (colours) Josh Reed (letters). Leviathan Rises part 2. I feel like the DCU is blowing up what with the all the secrets being revealed. We don't know who or what Leviathan is but they are eliminating the good guys, if you consider A.R.G.U.S and the D.E.O. good guys. When Amanda Waller needs help things are dire.

 Fantastic Four #7 - Dan Slott (writer) Aaron Kuder & John Lucas (art) Marte Gracia with Rachelle Rosenberg (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). The FF and good old superior Doc Doom fight Galactus. I love the old school melodramatic dialogue. The last panel doesn't make a lot of sense but it made me clamour for more.

 The Superior Spider-Man #3 - Christos Gage (writer) Mike Hawthorne (pencils) Wade von Grawbadger (inks) Jordie Bellaire (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). Otto gets help from his ex Anna Marconi in his battle with Terrax. The fight leaves him vulnerable and what Anna does in the end surprised me. I like that she has an ace in the hole.

 Invaders #2 - Chip Zdarsky (writer) Carlos Magno with Butch Guice (art) Alex Guimaraes (colours) VC's Travis Lanham (letters). I don't like the war monger that Namor is here. I know he's going to lose and then what? I'm not sticking around to find out.

 Captain Marvel: Braver & Mightier #1 - Jody Houser (writer) Simone Buonfantino (art) Erick Arciniega (colours) VC's Travis Lanham (letters). The Captain Marvel movie hits theatres March 7 and this is a nice one shot to whet your appetite for it. Nothing too elaborate, just Carol fighting alien space ships being brave and mighty and then talking to a couple of cub reporters. You get the basics of her being the offspring of a Kree mother and human father (in the title page blurb) and that she's a major in the USAF. There's one page showing her various costume changes and that's it. It's a good primer for the super hero. I hope the movie does as well as Wonder Woman.

 Savage Sword of Conan #2 - Gerry Conway (writer) Ron Garney (art) Richard Isanove (colours) VC's Travis Lanham (letters). I like all the familiar elements of a classic Conan story. There's the evil wizard, a hidden treasure and now a lovely and deadly lady to join the hunt. The next issue teaser got me excited because it looks like Conan meets the love of his life.

 Shazam #3 - Geoff Johns (writer) Dale Eaglesham, Marco Santucci & Mayo Naito (art) Mike Atiyeh (colours) Rob Leigh (letters). You just had to know that King Kid was going to turn out to be a bad guy and this issue confirms those suspicions. I hope we meet Mister Tawky Tawny next issue.

 Daredevil #2 - Chip Zdarsky (writer) Marco Checchetto (art) Sunny Gho (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). Know Fear part 2. Daredevil has been framed for murder. Can he prove it and find out who framed him? I'm sticking with this story to find out.

 Avengers LGY #710: No Road Home #3 - Al Ewing, Jim Zub & Mark Waid (writers) Paco Medina (pencils) Juan Vlasco (inks) Jesus Aburtov (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). If you don't recognise the green guy on the cover (other than the Hulk), that's Nightmare. All that surprising twisty stuff last issue? In your dreams pal. This issue's surprise twist is very real though. What bugs me is that it has already been used in the regular Avengers book. Two storylines using the same plot device is boring.