#(and then I wanna make stuff for myself! I want a sweater too!)

[cussima]

i shifted accidentally for the first time last night 😭

it wasn't my first time shifting, but it was my first time shifting on accident to a reality completely unknown to me 😭 Anyway here's that (long, quite detailed) story time !! (with reaction pics of course 😋)

i was so tired last night, and i had to wake up at 7AM today, i wanted my mind to be quiet so i could fall asleep easily and not have any vivid/random dreams (they make it so i can't rest well)

my subconscious with a different plan:

i remember being asleep here, lying on my bed and the darkness of my room, and all of the sudden i was standing in front of a white haired professor in a school in JAPAN !!!

now I don't have any japanese drs, or am close to anything japanese for that matter (i dont watch anime, etc etc) i think maybe i thought how i'd like to go to a tokyo grand prix for five seconds yesterday but that was it 😭 there was absolutely no reason for me to have woken up in a different country AND AT A SCHOOL !! for that matter like i genuinely have no idea what happened.

ANYWAYS...

the professor just talked about how i was new and my professors, and classmates, and all (i don't remember exactly what he said but when i woke up i knew it was an introductory "welcome to this school talk) and sent me to a classroom where i got way too worked up about a sexist mf, i kinda yelled at him for being sexist and the shit he was saying.

(i didn't YELL i confronted him and told him his ideology was stupid and might've given him (thrown...ish) some stuff to him but it was on topic i promise it was more like i landed him... some trash... like i put it at his feet for him to pick up okay, let's move on)

then i left that class !! but it was just as other classes were about to begin and another guy that had been in that class with me dragged me into another classroom because he had liked me (he didn't say it but he was rlly nice to me so i assumed he liked me) (liked me as in yk he didn't hate me after the whole class confrontation, i just had so he wasn't as bad as that other mf !!, im not saying he fell in love w me just in case anybody gets confused) (also the classroom wasn't empty he just had another class and dragged me along with him)

in that classroom he told me to put my hood on (i was wearing a black cotton jacket with a hood on it, we didn't have uniforms) and to not draw too much attention to myself (it was an all boys class, so if the professor found out im a girl she would've kicked me out and tbh idk what i would've done 😔)

and then the teacher came in, (i wanna describe her bc she was sooo,,, teacher core LMAO she had a big nose, glasses, red hair up, burgundy sweater and a white sort of lab coat thingy) introduced the class, and said she was going to play a movie, closed the class curtains and that's when i started remembering i had shifted here.

she played the movie (looking back at it now, i think they might've picked up from where they had left off in a previous class)

it was a movie with rupert grint where he was an adult and he had discovered like a magical realm, i remember i thought of harry potter (bc of rupert) and knowing that had never existed there, he had never been ron. There was also a blonde woman (gorgeous long blonde hair kinda looked like tilda swinton) and a little girl that was somehow related to Rupert's character.

I realized that movie didn't exist in this reality and that's when I sort of began panicking and remembered i had Actually shifted there

I decided to check my 5 senses but then I realized I don't know the steps to do it....

like i have to 5 what 4 what 3 what 2 what 1 what

so i just touched the desk where i was sitting, i touched the paper from the boy's notebooks and more stuff i can't remember, i remember wanting to touch the pencils inside the pencilcases but I couldn't be loud + those weren't mine !! and then i breathed in a couple times

and then i opened my eyes here again

now I know that stuff really doesn't work for me it just brings me back to my dr, because im just trying to remember what the tiktok i saw on this reality about the 5 senses method said 😭

ALSO !!

something i didn't mention is that when I walked into the second classroom, i got nervous when i realized it was an all boys class. I don't know what the class was on, i was looking around frantically, the curtains surprised me they were dark and i had never seen dark gray curtains in a classroom (what a stupid culture shock 😭)

when the teacher came in i put my hair on my eyes to FAKE A FRINGE !!! I didn't listen to her at all when she began the class, and then another guy with big blue eyes was mouthing something to me and the boy behind me, the boy i was with said "he's deaf just read his lips"

MF I DON'T KNOW HOW TO READ LIPS ?!?

so now im nervous as fuck about not being able to read his lips and looking like an asshole that doesn't want to talk to deaf people

all while trying not to get kicked out of this class !!

it was A Lot of information to take in 😭 no wonder i shifted back i was being silly af

also THEN i shifted to a reality where my phone had barely charged (it had a decent amount of battery after i shifted, it went from 75% at 5AM when i woke up from my shift to 25% at 7AM)

[theemporium]

Can u do wedding planning with sunshine and Danny. Thanks

Ps. Ur the best writer I’ve come across thank you for sharing ur talent 😌💗

thank you, darling🥹and thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

“Huh?”

“I give up.”

“Baby—”

“Let’s just elope and call it a day.”

You slumped onto the couch, shoving your face into your fiancé’s lap as you let out a loud groan. You could feel the tension in your shoulders, feel the toll the last few months had been taking on your body and you were honestly ready to tap out.

“My Sunshine’s not shining,” Daniel murmured, his voice slightly teasing. Though, without you even asking, his hand slipped beneath your sweater and began rubbing up and down your back.

“If I have one more person say another colour at me like they aren’t all just fucking beige, I’m gonna throw myself in front of your car,” you grumbled bitterly.

Daniel snorted. “When I said I wanted to ruin you, baby, that’s not what I was thinking.”

You lifted your head, eyes narrowing at your fiancé. “Daniel.”

“M’kidding,” he murmured before he leaned down to press a chaste kiss against your lips. “Maybe you should take a break. Give me some chores. Focus on yourself for a while.”

“Because I’m a perfectionist and I want the wedding to be perfect,” you deadpanned.

“It was worth a shot asking,” Daniel shrugged before lightly pinching your chin between his fingers. “Listen, if you wanna elope, say the word and I’ll book us the tickets to Vegas.”

You sighed. “I don’t actually want to elope. I want a big wedding with you, all that cheesy stuff.”

“And it will be perfect,” Daniel stated. “Everything you make is perfect.”

Your grin grew. “Still on a high, Mr World Champion?”

Daniel grinned back. “Hell fucking yeah, I am, Sunshine.”

You let out a long breath. “Who would’ve thought making a championship winning car was easier than planning a wedding?”

“If anyone can do it, it’s you,” Daniel murmured before leaning down to kiss you again. “I can’t wait to marry you.”

“I can’t wait to marry you too,” you whispered against his lips.

“C’mon,” he murmured as playfully slapped your ass. “Let’s go choose some shades of brown and pretend like we know what those fancy French words mean on the menus the caterers sent.”

You snorted, letting him lift you up as you began making your way to the office where your laptop and the wedding planning folders had been sprawled across your desk for the last few weeks.

.

[monsterswithimagines]

Undisclosed Desires - Part 24

Joe Goldberg x female!Reader

Summary: Twenty minutes before he would have met Guinevere Beck, Joe meets you instead. You intruige him, but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you.

Words: 873

Masterlist

The flight to The Netherlands is long and annoying.

There is a fat man next to me, taking up all my space, and a baby in the row behind me is crying the whole time. I can't sleep at any part during the eight hour flight even though I really should, and I can't focus on Sky full of elephants - a book which you recommended to me - either. Also, I feel dehydrated, so I drink a lot of water, but then I just have to pee every ten minutes.

I feel disgusting when I finally get off the plane, and Amsterdam airport sucks. It takes forever until I can get my suitcase and it takes even longer for the one line (one!) that is open at customs to let all the non-European Union travellers through.

But it's all worth it, (Y/n), because when I walk into the departures hall, you are waiting for me.

You don't care that I'm sweaty, or that my shirt stinks. You just about crash into me and hug me. Then you kiss my lips and then my nose and then my lips again. I kiss you back and I forget all about how uncomfortable I am.

“Hey, you,” I say.

“Hi,” you answer, smiling against my mouth.

You have lost weight, even in just the five days I haven't fed you. Don't people usually gain weight when they spend a lot of time with their grandparents?

You're wearing a red woollen hat with a puffball on top that I only know from Nadia's Instagram. It makes you look like a little elf.

“You look cute,” I tell you.

You make a face.

“It's 42 degrees, I'm dying in all this shit.” You gesture down at your attire: an unzipped, light blue puffer coat, a sweater that goes to your knees and skinny jeans. “Thank you, though.” You eye my suitcase. “Lemme take that.”

“Isn't the guy supposed to carry his girlfriend's stuff?”

“You were just on a plane for eight hours, and we're about to get on a train for two more. It's not fun. Let me carry your suitcase for you, mister macho man.”

I laugh, and I let you.

On the train, I should look out the window at all the new things I’ve never seen before. But all I wanna look at is you.

We're sitting in a spot for four people, even though enough spots for two are open. These trains are nothing like the ones in New York. I expected to have to stand uncomfortably for two hours, but this is alright. The seats are nice enough and there isn't too much litter. There are some teenagers loudly playing their music and talking, but when you're used to the New York transit line, that's nothing.

Your legs are stretched sideways. You are typing on your phone and I want to ask who you're texting, or to say anything to you at all, but you are frowning. You are not in the mood for idle questions, so I wait for you to talk to me, first.

Eventually, you put your phone away and smile at me.

“Sorry about that.”

“Is everything okay?”

“It's just my grandparents. They want us to come by their house right away and I thought I already made it clear that wasn't going to happen, but now my grandma's on it again and I'm having real trouble relaying through my uncle that you've just been on a long ass flight.”

“We can go by their house.”

“No.” You shake your head firmly. “I'm going to save you from yourself here. No.”

You know when I just want to please you, and I love that you know to stop me when it's too much.

“Okay then.”

“Trust me. You're going to take a shower and fall into bed and you are going to crash hard. I only just got over the jet lag, myself. It's much worse this way than back.”

Back. You consider New York going back because that's where I am.

“I believe you.”

I want you to bring up Mitch, but you don't.

I ask: “is your mom still not going to be there, by the way?”

A complicated emotion crosses your face. Then, you go carefully blank. You shake your head.

“That's too bad,” I say.

“Apparently she thinks I told her I don't want to talk to her,” you tell me. “I never said anything like that, but it's not the first time she's made stuff like that up.” You shrug. “Anyway, she's not coming if her boyfriend's not allowed to come, and apparently she's not taking the news that you are allowed to come very well, either.”

You cross your arms, and you cross your legs and your body is closed. You are hurting and I don't know what to say to you to make it better.

We are silent for a moment.

“Anyway,” you say, taking a deep breath. “When we get to the AirBnB, you should take a shower and I'll go out and get some food.”

“That sounds great.”

“What're you hungry for?”

“You grew up here. You probably know what's good better than I do.”

“I'll figure it out then.”

[pupyuj]

havinf CRAZY THOUGHTS RN abt being yujin's passenger princess......... LLLIKE imagine her with one hand on the wheel and the other on ur thigh the entire ride home........ but eventually she pulls over and fucks you in the backseat because she CANNOT CONTROL HERSELF...... 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 i need her so bad its not funny

the day starship puts yujin in a real car is the day all the yujinators implode,, it's the day that i personally will eject myself into space and scream into the void... YUJIN, LET ME BE YOUR WOMAN!! WOMAN WOMAN WOMAN—

okay but let's add a little jock!yujin in there where she likes to show you off in her car to her totally uncool and bitchless jock friends like you're some kind of trophy,, n she likes it better when you dress like a whore bcs even tho people are looking at you like they want you, they will never have you and yujin takes pride in people getting jealous of her bcs she's got such a fine girl as her gf ajdhsdndjch 😵‍💫😵‍💫

sdfhjsdk wearing an adorable outfit one day and not your usual slutty ones bcs you were feeling cute n stuff,,, but yujin's looking at you like you were some piece of meat that she couldn't fucking wait to gnaw on... the pastel colors, the cute accessories, the headband, n the daisy earrings were such a turn on for her, perhaps even more than your bad girl outfits??? she's sick 😵‍💫 yujinnie couldn't stop staring at you the entire time the two of you sat on the bleachers watching some of her friends from the soccer team on the field :(( her arm around your waist holding you close to her, her other hand touching and squeezing your thigh and knee while she whispered compliments on your ear :((( she was so sweet but oh, the things she had planned for you...?

well, those plans couldn't wait until the two of you got home apparently! bcs not even halfway through the game, you and yujin left ... yujin said she was 'hungry' and needed food... sure, she did 👀 but like she was so fucking horny that she couldn't even make it far from the field before she stopped at some abandoned old park's lot and moved you over to the backseat 😵‍💫😵‍💫 ueuughh yujinnie pressing her knee against your cunt while she kissed you,, has you pinned down on the seats, hands under your sweater vest and the shirt underneath,, groping and squeezing anywhere she could 🤤 her own pussy throbbing too bcs you just looked so hot under her :(((

"i really got lucky.. you're the prettiest little thing."

she melted your heart so bad that you didn't hesitate to take every single piece of clothing off your body in the next second :(( yujinnie leaving kisses all over your chest, fingering you roughly while your hands were on her soft hair :((

"i w-wanna get off too, baby... i wanna come on you too..."

n then she was taking her panties off :(( putting her warm cunt against your thigh and riding it, then spreading your other leg out so she could still finger you :((( you're cradling her head while she moaned your name in your ear :(( the cool and mischievous basketball captain yujin being gone, you could only see your cute girlfriend being so desperate to come with you 🥺🥺

finally coming with her when she pressed her clit against your knee and curled her fingers inside of you :((( sjsbdjknks yujinnie smiling cutely up at you after but then promising that she'll fuck you better when the two of you get home?!!! 😩 she really is an all-rounder.. 🤭

[stqrrian]

♫𝘏𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘦♫ᴹᵃʳᵏ ᴸᵉᵉ ˣ ᴿᵉᵃᵈᵉʳpt.2

Warnings: Suggestive speech, flirting, cussing, let me know if there’s anything else ♡

A/N: Please let me know if there’s any mistakes or give me suggestions !! If you enjoy I’ll be happy to make a part 3 ♡

Theme: best friend Jeno! best friend chenle! best friend Jaemin!

<< Part one Part three >>

Next day I woke up and took a shower and sat on my bed and texted Chenle.

The door swings open and see Mark standing there with a smile holding white zip up. "Come on in you're going to catch a cold'' He pulled me and close the door behind him and started putting the zip up on me. I lightly smiled at the gesture "You know I can put on this by myself?" He smiled and nodded, "My bad just wanted to make sure you're good". "Thank you Mark" I smiled at him and turned and saw the rest of the people.

"Thats a lot of testosterone" I gasped, and Mark laughed, and I walked over to them and right away a guy stood up and he introduced himself to me, "Hi my name is Haechan, and yours beautiful?" He reached out to shake my hand and I shook it and lightly blushed, "Oh hi I'm y/n, I'm a friend of Jenos".

Then in came Chenle and Jaemin and they both ran in and hugged me. "Nice to see you guys too" we laughed. Jeno walked out and Haechan threw himself onto him "Jeno how come you've never introduced me to her, she's so pretty" He rolled his eyes at Haechan.

"I didn't need you trying to get into my best friend's pants''. Mark nervously laughed and lead Haechan the couch and Chenle and Jaemin followed. Both Jeno and Mark introduced the guys all to me and I introduced myself.

"Just so we're clear, y/n is off limits." he scolds the boys, "so behave yourselves" He raised his brow and Renjun spoke, "And you’re saying this why?" and Jeno laughed " Because you guys are always in heat or something, I swear you guys are insane" I laugh and just plop onto the couch.

Some of the boys go to the kitchen to finish cooking up dinner and the rest go on the balcony to chat. And me, Mark, Jeno, and Chenle stay on the couch watching whatever was on the tv. Jeno sat in between me and mark and we I could feel the awkwardness and nudged Chenle and signaled to Jeno and he nodded.

"Hey Jeno you still got that xbox?'' he tapped Jenos arm and Jeno smiled "yeah, you wanna play?" and Chenle nodded. Jeno got up with him and left to another room. Leaving me and mark on the couch. It was quiet for a bit till mark started making small talk. We talked about school and family and hobbies. We sat closer and I even leaned onto him as we talked then I got a text.

I laughed and put my phone down and continued the conversation. We talked all day even through dinner, where I took a photo of Jeno being on his phone during dinner, and me and mark just laughed.

After dinner everyone started leaving and soon enough I had to go too. I grabbed my stuff and said bye to everyon and was about to open the door.

"Wait! I'll walk you home" he said as he put on a sweater. "It's alright, I don't even live that far"

He smiled " Even better, lets go" He opened the door for me and i gave up and listened.

We started walking and we were playing in the snow as we walked and talking more about school.

We got to my apartment and walked to my door. “I’ll see you?” I smile up and him and he returns it “yeah for sure”. I unlock my door and wave at him “thank you for walking with me, I enjoyed it”.

“Of course don’t mention it, I enjoyed it too” he smiled at me and I walked in “Text me when you get home okay?” He nodded and waved and started walking away.

I close my door behind me and go get ready for bed and get a text as I jump into bed.

I go on Twitter a post the picture of Jeno

Please leave me any suggestions!

TAGLIST:

@xrinronnx

[irondad-defensesquad]

“W-What’re you doing here?”

“You could say I have Peter-senses myself.”

Peter doesn’t laugh or give him a comeback.

“What’s up?” Tony asks.

“I dunno, I couldn’t sleep.”

“Bad dream?”

“No. I haven’t slept a wink.”

“Oh. Hyperactive brain, then?”

Peter shrugs.

“What do you want to do? Watch something? Listen to music? Or maybe build something in the workshop?”

“I don’t know, I just– want some peace right now.”

He gulps, fearing he might’ve slightly snapped. Tony though realizes he must’ve asked him too many things all at once, so he doesn’t take Peter’s reaction to heart.

“Can I sit with you?” Tony requests.

“Okay.”

Peter immediately feels some of the tension go away when his mentor sits next to him. Just the weight on the couch helps him relax a little. Tony notices the blanket wrapped around Peter like it’s trying hard to bring him back to reality, yet to no avail.

“Are you cold?” The former asks, already implying he can get the latter another blanket or maybe the sweater he’s currently wearing.

“No.”

It’s half a lie.

Peter is missing a different kind of warmth. The blanket and his current hoodie are warm enough. But they cannot replace the safety of two arms around him.

“Mr. Stark…” He trails off.

“Yeah?”

“Can you just–”

Why is asking this so hard?

His face flushes red.

“... Hold me?”

Tony is suddenly a lot more relieved, but he doesn’t ridicule Peter.

“Bring it in,” the former snickers.

Peter awkwardly scoots to him and lies against him. Tony hugs him with no hesitation whatsoever.

“You can always ask for a cuddle,” the man lets him know.

“I didn’t wanna come off as annoying.”

Tony sighs in sympathy, no sarcasm at all.

“It’s hard to ask for this kind of stuff, right?”

“... Yeah.”

They don’t add anything else with words. Tony holds him much closer, to the point Peter is being nestled. It kind of makes the boy tear up. He doesn’t know why. There was nothing out of ordinary this week, and Peter still has no idea why he couldn’t fall asleep tonight.

… he does know, though, that if he stayed in his lonely apartment, things would’ve been worse.

Peter grows heavier, breathing with more ease.

Tony rubs his back up and down, rocking him a little.

“... thanks for savin’ me, Mr. Stark…” the teenager says quite tiredly.

Tony chuckles. “Always, kid.”

[sweetlummie]

Rainbow

Joel Miller x fem!reader

A/n: Hello all, I’m not doing too good so here’s a little something I wrote to comfort myself I suppose. Also not proofread so any and all mistakes are mine! Btw this story was made with both game and show Joel in mind! As always constructive criticism is welcome! Enjoy! Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! 🫶🫶💗💗

Warnings: depressing stuff and a little bit of suicidal/death thoughts (if you’re struggling with these thoughts and think you might be a danger to yourself please reach out and get help. You’re not alone and you are loved 💗)

W/c: 1k+

* ・‥…━━━━━━━ *˖◛⁺♡ ━━━━━━━…‥・

Stillness. Silence. You laid in your bed, staring up at the ceiling. You weren’t quite sure what you were feeling. You felt nothing. You couldn’t even find joy in the things you loved to do anymore. You couldn’t find it in you to interact with anyone either. You just disappeared. “I don’t belong here.” You often thought. You were certain no one would care if you just stopped, if you just left, if you just died. You felt your life as you knew it was insignificant and meaningless. Everyone else in the settlement seemed to be having fun, seemed to enjoy their life despite the horrors outside the walls. You should be more grateful that you found a safe place, you found somewhere to live a somewhat normal life in the apocalypse but you weren’t. You wished you weren’t here. The monotony of your life was suffocating your every fiber. When mornings would come you stayed in bed later than usual. You’ve let your responsibilities slip away from you as you simply didn’t care anymore. Maria would come to your house, you looked disheveled in a dirty oversized sweater and some tattered sweatpants. Your hair wild and greasy from lack of care. At first she was gonna scold you for being irresponsible but she took one look at you and just felt bad for you. The scolding words dying on her lips as she noticed the lackluster look in your eyes. You just looked dead.

A few more days pass and there’s a knock on your door. Sighing you willed yourself to get up and open it. Your eyes widen when you see who was standing on the other side. No one other than Joel Miller himself. You haven’t really spoken much to him, you both have been patrol partners once or twice and you volunteered at the school his kid attended often, helping them out in the library. Ellie became a close friend of yours as you had similar interests and hobbies. Joel himself was quite fond of you. You were a quiet girl yet you were such a spitfire. You never let anyone, even himself, boss you around or treat you badly. He liked that about you, you carried yourself well. So seeing you like this, broken and hopeless really surprised him.

“Hey sweetheart..” Joel gave you a small smile, he held a tub of something you couldn’t make out in his hands. “Oh- hey Joel.” You returned the smile and stepped aside. “Come in, what can I do for you?” You said as he made his way inside your house. He took a look around. A little messy, yet cozy. He wasn’t being judgemental because he knew you were going through a rough time. This whole visit came about when Ellie asked if he’s seen you, when he shook his head, the girl expressed her concern about how you essentially went missing for a few days that no one has seen you except Maria but she said you weren’t doing too well. He wasn’t one for caring about other people that weren’t his brother or Ellie but for some reason he felt worried about you, he felt compelled to check up on you.

“Jus’ wanted to see how ya were doin’.. uh I brought some cookies me and the kid made together.. nothin’ too special.” Joel said as walked into your kitchen, setting them down on the counter. You chuckled for the first time since your depressive episode. “You? Baking? Wow, color me impressed. You wanna take a seat and have some milk and cookies with me?” Joel laughed. The request was so innocent and truth be told, just seeing you, Joel would do whatever to spend more time with you. “Sure.” Joel replied as he took a seat.

You prepared the milk and brought it to him, placing it on the table along with your own. You went back to get the cookies from the counter and you set it between the both of you. You picked up a cookie and dunked it in your milk. Taking a bite, your eyes light up. “Woah- Joel these are amazing!!!” Joel smiles as he takes a cookie for himself and eats it. “Thanks, I take full credit- Ellie jus’ preheated the oven and mixed some ingredients. She got tired easily.” You laughed, you were really enjoying his company and his presence. Just this one visit alone made you feel so much better.

“So.. ya haven’t been around lately.. Ellie and I are really worried ‘bout ya darlin’. Everything okay?” Joel asked as he looked at your face, you averted your gaze to your hands. You were tapping your foot on the ground as for some reason you grew nervous. You weren’t used to anyone asking if you were okay, no one really cared about you. Why did he and his daughter care? “Uh yeah. I’m all good, don't worry..” Joel could immediately tell you were lying. “Darlin’.. it’s okay.. y’know you can talk to me right? I may not be good at givin’ advice or be any good at any of this emotional stuff but I’ll listen to whatever you need to get off your chest..”

Joel was honestly surprising you. You never expected him to be here let alone asking you to talk about your emotions. What strange times. You nodded as you both ate your cookies. Perhaps you wouldn’t tell him now what was wrong since it’s a whole lot of trauma you have to unpack and you don’t want to frighten the poor man. But the mere fact that Joel was in your house offering you emotional support and delicious baked goods warmed your heart and made you think that maybe there are people who care about you. People who would be affected if something were to happen to you. If there was anything you learned today was that in your bleak, gray life there were still slivers of rainbows in the form of people like Joel and Ellie who valued you more than anyone else did in your life.

* ・‥…━━━━━━━ *˖◛⁺♡ ━━━━━━━…‥・

[ariesmusingz]

૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა ╱    MANIC DREAM PIXIE SENTENCE STARTERS ( created using lyrics from peach prc's manic dream pixie ep. feel free to adjust to fit your muse. )

"i know your favourite pair of jeans"

"i'll lay them out when you leave"

"i'll make you breakfast, coffee black"

"receipts told me that you like that"

"i was thinking spring, silver wedding rings"

"i've picked out all our baby names"

"i'm kind of obsessed"

"you're kinda famous"

"don't wanna be friends"

"you're not a phase"

"i know you don't know me yet"

"my obsession know you well"

"take me out backstage"

"i know all the names of every song you played"

"one day you'll write about us too"

"i can be your muse when we say i do"

"you might love me if you knew me"

"you're gonna love me soon enough"

"you're gonna love me"

"i'm your biggest fan"

"can we go outside for a walk?"

"they told me you guys were hitting it off"

"she kissed me in the bathroom"

"it's just for attention"

"i'm making her jealous"

"you guessed it"

"i'm not a good friend but she doesn't know that"

"she's gonna hate me but i want you so bad"

"kiss me"

"i'm not scared if she's gone"

"i'm done tryna play it fair"

"i don't care"

"touch me"

"i'm alone"

"i want you on your own"

"she might want you but i do too"

"baby i'm perfect for you"

"harley had a party you were at"

"you were in boots and a cowboy hat"

"jenna said you knew my music"

"now i can't betray her"

"i'm in your sweater"

"don't wanna upset her"

"i can do what she can do so much better"

"i know it's been a while since you've seen me"

"i heard you're doing well now with your comedy"

"i reminisce nostalgic bits of 90s hits"

"we listened, do you miss it?"

"have you thought of it since?"

"if you still think of me, i'd love to meet for coffee"

"if i could just see your face, i'd look into your eyes"

"i hate your jokes and don't think you're funny"

"i hope you choke, go broke, lose your money"

"know that you were the worst forty five seconds i had in my life"

"i hope your conscious haunts you at night"

"fuck you and goodbye"

"a couple therapists are now familiar"

"by the way, i caught up with your ex"

"we shared regrets and most of them were sex with you"

"i'd sit down at your table and scream if i was able"

"thanks to you, gentle hands still resemble demands"

"loving lips on my mouth feel like currency now"

"thanks to you i fear kind"

"now i can't spend the night"

"i bet we were a couple bugs just living in the mud, happily in love doing bug stuff"

"i think i met you in a store in 1944"

"i probably wrote you letters while you went off to the war"

"we could have been two birds"

"now wouldn't that be so absurd?

"maybe just lost lovers that keep getting rediscovered"

"i think i loved you before back when we were dinosaurs"

"i wanna stay in love in this life and the next one"

"i think we've already met somewhere on another planet"

"i wanna stay in love in this life and the next one"

"i loved you before"

"i loved you"

"maybe you loved me on a trip, two pirates on a ship"

"counting all our gold as the boat tipped"

"could we have been there drinking win in medieval times?"

"forever just lost lovers that keep getting rediscovered"

"if i'm the sun and you're the moon"

"if it's over soon we'll go back through"

"i try not to compare a teenage love cause i know that isn't fair"

"why can't i just shut up?"

"i'm always going on about you when i'm drunk"

"i see your name in every numberplate"

"i tried to erase your fave but you're there everyday"

"you're my favourite person"

"i have created a version that hurts less"

"I had to tell myself you're toxic"

"better off cause you're the problem"

"really, i just couldn't take it"

"being hated by my favourite person"

"i tried to fall but i can't cause they're not you"

"i hate that i'll never stop thinking that we're not still home growing up"

"i hear your tropes in all my stupid jokes"

"i'm starting to lose all hope of ever letting go"

"if the world was ending i know i'd be spending my last day pretending we were fine"

"when we both grow old with families of our own"

"i'll probably always go back in my mind"

"someone kissed my closing eyelinds"

"i made it mean more than it did"

"someone put a plate down a little too loud"

"now i still flinch whenever i hear the sound"

"as i'm getting older, i learned my mumma was just trying her best"

"not that i owe her forgiveness but i'm sorry to that girl in a dress"

"if you wanna wear pink, i'll wear it for you"

"if you wanna dance then i'll strap up my shoes"

"if you wanna sing then consider it sung"

"i'm sorry that you had to grown up this young"

"forget that love is earned cause it was always deserved"

"i know you had to work hard just to show them your worth"

"remember that a plate is nothing but a plate"

"even if it breaks, we can throw it away"

"i learned that i was only trying my best"

"i think i owe her a deep breath"

"she was the strongest little girl in a dress"

"you were the strongest little fighter who carried me here"

"i know that you're tired from surviving in fear"

"now i got us for the rest of our life"

[whumpy-wyrms]

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

here’s some wholesome Dew art because he deserves to be happy :3 (also his sweater is supposed to look like colorful firework explosions)

now here i go getting all sentimental under the read more…

first off, thanks @mottinthemainpot and @toyybox for requesting New Years art because i wouldn’t have drawn this otherwise!! it was fun and i love how colorful it turned out :D

also here’s the version without the background

anyway, i have to say that making this blog was one of the biggest highlights of my year. i did so many things that i thought i’d never do! like show my writing to people, post oc stuff… make actual friends. seriously, just creating something that makes other people happy is what i’ve always wanted to do, and i did it! writing and drawing are my favorite hobbies and i’m so so happy that i’m making other people happy by doing what i love more than anything.

i know TLLR may not matter all that much to other people, but it had a huge impact on my life. it caused me to start sharing my stories instead of keeping them in my head, it caused me to come out of my shell and actually talk to people online, and make so many amazing friends that i never would have met otherwise. it made it easier for me to be myself and interact with people, instead of hiding or being too shy like i’ve been doing my whole life. i used to be soo scared of talking to people online, because i thought nobody would like me or i’d be too awkward. but all of your amazing support made me able to do that, made me able to express myself and find a friend group that i can relate to and who likes me for me. that’s something i’ve always wanted, so thank you all!!

ever since i was 12, it was my dream to make something- a series and characters- that inspired others and made people happy (aka the same impact that Gravity Falls had on me). i know TLLR isn’t much, and it’s not super popular or anything, but i’m so unbelievably happy that i created something that makes people excited to read and think about and make art for. i’m so happy i created something that inspires people and makes people happy (even just a little bit). that is honestly all i’ve ever wanted and it makes me excited for all the amazing things i’ll do in the future.

to all of you invested in my silly little story, THANK YOU!!!! without any of your support or kind messages or reactions or art, i literally wouldn’t have made it this far. i remember the first ask i ever got (you know who you are :)) and i just wanna talk about how that affected me. because holy shit, back then, that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said about something i made. i can’t even describe how happy i was when i first read it, like it literally made my entire month. it made me realize that i’m capable of making something that makes people happy. and to everyone who has ever left nice messages about my series, thank you so much again!! because wow, it’s just so surreal that people like my creations. thank you

this is super rambly and completely unplanned, but yeah i just wanted to say thanks for the amazing past few months. i’m so happy i joined this community, everyone here is so nice and it’s led me to make amazing things. even if you don’t read TLLR (i recommend it ehehehe /nf), thanks for following me and supporting me with my art. drawing all those tllr drawings definitely made me improve a lot (this year was also a huge year for my art in general. i’m so proud of myself for how much i’ve improved with my art).

ALSO WRITING!!! my writing has definitely improved thanks to tllr. before this, i just wrote for fun about my other ocs and never showed ANYONE. it wasn’t in chronological order and i didn’t care much for mistakes or perfect grammar or anything. don’t get me wrong, i love the other stuff i wrote for myself, but tllr is by far the best in my opinion. it challenged me to write something not only for myself, but something other people would read. it put me out of my comfort zone at first, when i posted the first chapter. my writing has improved so much because of that and i’m so fucking excited for what i’ll be able to accomplish in the future.

oh yeah! thanks to the whump community for inspiring me to post my stuff in the first place! tllr specifically is something very important and personal to me, but something that i’m able to share with other people so easily. tllr isn’t just mine anymore, it’s everyone’s who’s ever read it (don’t take that too literally)

anyway, i know i’m forgetting something but yeah i just wanted to say thanks!! you are all so amazing! i’m not gonna tag all of the friends i made but you all know who you are, thank you!!! 2023 was amazing for me and i’m so excited for what 2024 will bring (besides me literally graduating high school this year)! big things are coming up with tllr too, new characters, twists and turns, crazy stuff. i’m so fucking excited

OH YEAH! i usually don’t make new year’s resolutions but this year i definitely want to draw more of my friends/mutuals’ characters. all of you are so creative and drawing art for other people is something i realized i love to do!!

i don’t know how to end this, it got longer than i planned loll. thank you all for the amazing year!! thanks for all the support!! :DDD

[your-local-uwu-artist]

wip dump :3

evil art style! my art style has quite a lot of range but I decided to default to chibis for this. I also didn't want to like, just draw one character bust up like i see most people do for it, so I wanted to come up with a way to show multiple characters on one page in an appealing manner

sonic drawing practice! I've been procrastinating this one because the lineart I've done so far on it is almost too good. I'm not sure If i can keep up the standard set

jame-joe doodles! really wanna keep developing this concept: I think it has decent potential! i don't remember how much I've shared about him but i don't think i've talked about it much beyond the base premise. Jame-Joe is inspired by characters like Dipper and Wirt, he's clever, is serious and studious in the pursuit of his goals, can be rather emotional and is prone to cowardice and insecurity, but can be determined when push comes to shove. I set myself up for a challenge here, as I want him to be expressive but limited by his doll body. It's a fun challenge though!

more 'i should start an etsy' drawings. i've seen people make like 'gacha blind bag' keychains and thought of the idea of those with aimaina-chan designs!

fdanfsdjk I almost feel bad for spoiling this one because I'm so excited to share it!!!! But i guess the sorta person to read through this post probably don't mind spoilers lol. I realized 'Timmy's a 2000s kid' and decided to go ALL IN on that. I dug deep into my memories and decided this kids going to need rainbow looms, slap-wraps, silly bandz, and those rubbery braclets where theres one white segment and one black segment and i have no clue if this is true but when i was a kid everyone always said the white segment was snow from mount everest and the black one was like sand from the bottom of the ocean. anyway! I had so much trouble wiht finding the right shade of pink that if i go trhough making a youtube video on these designs you guys will definitely here my color theory rant.

my main goal i can only describe as 'arcade carpet'

he thinks he's cool but knows he's lame. I gave him a fnaf shirt also, i dived deep into my brain as asked myself 'what graphic t-shirt from hot-topic would timmy turner wear' and i decided on fnaf because i think it's funny. so far these extra outfits have been going up in the amount of projection I'm doing. It started with spongebob's sweater vests, continued with Dannys stereotypical-transmasc fits, and now I'm lowkey just drawing stuff I've worn (actually danny's fit with the flannel I've def worn before but like, i assigned timmy a sanrio character(i gave him keropi because it's an easy way to incorporate green accents into his design lol)) anyway!!!

i had 'i want it that way' stuck in my head again and turned to queeries he proceded to give me the solution of chipi-chipi-chapa-chapa. this was not a solution obviously but whatever. i decided to use my new problem to animate myself dancing. sure. why not. if I upload this to youtube i think i should title it 'me at the function' of course i don't actually go to any functions so perhaps 'me when i' would be more fitting

Haku with his starter! the shy kid to eccentric adult pipeline

more of baby Haku! weird part-mimikyu child wandering alola before discovering ghost-type communities and being like 'finally! someone that doesn't look at me weird when i mention demonic possesion!'

with the timeline I'm going with Haku's younger than Acerola so she's like a big sister to them :3

He stares at you with his big ol eyes awkwardly lowkey steals your malasada and gives you a flower in return

rf4 art!!! I love rune factory enough that I own a throw pillow with vishnal on it >:3

frey my fucking beloved!!!!!! lest is here too also. btw frey is a demigirl and lest is a demiboy this is true you can trust me

sketch design for one of those cd keychains with alvin and the chipmunks!

I plan to caption this '1k notes and I voice+animate my yumehoshi beam' as a bit, not because i want 1k notes, but because 99% chance it won't get 1k notes, but if it does then it'd be a really funny way to break my shyness with sharing my voice to the internet

smurtsune miku smurf my BELOVED

need more character for this btw!

[punsmaster69]

6/DEC/20XX

i'm throwing bones today.

big ol' pile of the things.

why?

because it's the lowest-effort option i could think of to dwindle that overflow stuff today.

"Ow."

"...?"

looking over at frisk, i couldn't immediately tell what they did, so i chalked it up to a cut or something.

"Ouch."

i heard a clatter, but missed whatever it was that fell.

frisk held their hands suspiciously behind their back.

"...you good, kid?"

"Yep. Just keep going."

barely a minute passed before i heard another exclamation of pain.

"Ow."

...their sweater, which was suddenly very odd-shaped, seemed to be the source of the pain sounds.

"..why?"

"Why what?"

"bones??"

"No idea what you're talking about."

(innocent smile.)

de-summoning some attacks, frisk's sweater returned to a normal shape.

"Aww..."

"Whyyy?"

"that's what i should be askin' you, kiddo."

"I want bones."

"you do have bones."

"My body-bones don't count."

"alright. fair enough."

"doesn't my bro give you bones all the time?"

"Yeah."

"then you do have bones."

"Not YOUR bones."

"same bones."

"Not the same!"

"Yours look different!!"

"how so?"

"Papyruses bone attacks are all sharp, and angular, like he is."

"Yours are all round, and soft."

"...Looking. Not feeling."

flicked a tiny bone at their forehead.

they caught it in their hands, and made an 'aww' sound.

"really?"

"Tinyyyy..."

"that is a bone."

"can't be cute."

"It's little, and therefore cute."

"And it's not even doing damage."

"how much did the other ones do?"

"Two damage. Three, when I dropped one on myself."

didn't expect anything else.

"Can I have a non-ouch one?"

"..sure, why not. i'll throw you a bone."

"want me to gift wrap that for you?"

"Wait, give me another one."

"ok."

"Make it hurt a little."

"..why?"

"I wanna give one to Flowey."

"ok."

"while you're at it, might as well give you one-"

"For Mom?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"When's your next date, anyway?"

"OW."

"deserved."

"I'm gonna tell her you're throwing bones at my face."

"you got what was coming to you."

"She's gonna ground you."

"not if i ground you first."

"Don't-"

"i don't even have that authority, kid."

they faced me, before giving me an earnest look and placing a hand on my shoulder.

"You can if you want to."

"you want me to ground you?"

"No- I meant, you can have that authority."

"bit weird to want more authority figures in your life."

"You're chill."

"I know you won't do anything, anyway."

"fair enough."

"Besides, if even Papyrus decided I was grounded, I would listen to him too."

"he wouldn't either."

"......."

"No, he wouldn't..."

"You get the idea though."

——

"Could you just summon a really giant one?"

"what you're seeing is what i've got."

"Give it a shot, you have to be able to!"

trying produced a slightly longer attack, not much different in size otherwise.

"Isn't there an easier way? This is taking ages!"

"this 𝘪𝘴 the easier way."

"How do you know when it's enough?"

"probably good enough when my head doesn't hurt anymore."

"Does your eye still hurt?"

"unfortunately. 's more of a dull pain than anything, which is good."

"Still having trouble seeing?"

"out the one."

"Think it'll be permanent?"

"probably not."

"Are you gonna have to get glasses if it is?"

"maybe."

"and...think that's it, kiddo."

"doesn't feel like my skull is splitting into pieces like before."

"Woo!"

"Now we can do literally anything else!"

"you didn't have to sit here through all this, y'know."

"Wanted to hang out with you today."

"even at the cost of your entertainment?"

"It wasn't really that bad. I'm just dramatic."

"Besides, it's not everyday I get to watch a skeleton make a bone pile."

"...I should jump into them like leaves."

"should not."

"you'll break all your bones 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 bones."

before they could consider it any further, i un-summoned the bone mound.

"tori'll ground 𝘮𝘦 if i let you do that, kid."

"c'mon."

"let's go inside before it gets colder."

——

bones must be comfier than you'd figure, being twice now that they've fallen asleep on one of us skeletons.

to be fair though...

frisk could probably fall asleep just about anywhere, if they tried hard enough.

[query-quadrant]

Wh⛤t should I we⛤r for my first p⛤le ⛤nnivers⛤ry?

It’s mine ⛤nd my moir⛤ils first p⛤le ⛤nnivers⛤ry this sweep. Obviously I’d LOVE to spoil them rotten, so I got us tickets to ⛤ highly renowned st⛤ge perform⛤nce, ⛤nd ⛤ reserv⛤tion ⛤t ⛤ rest⛤ur⛤nt ⛤fterw⛤rd. ⛤s you c⛤n obviously tell, I know wh⛤t I’m doing, ⛤nd h⛤ve ⛤ll of th⛤t covered. 

The only problem is th⛤t I h⛤ven’t the f⛤intest ide⛤ of wh⛤t to we⛤r. 

I’m ⛤n extremely high cl⛤ss violetblood, ⛤nd I refuse to we⛤r ⛤nything th⛤t isn’t floor-length, but my moir⛤il often comments th⛤t this m⛤kes me ⛤ppe⛤r more cold th⛤n I re⛤lly ⛤m. Unfortun⛤tely most of the ⛤dvice I h⛤ve seen online m⛤inly involves we⛤ring g⛤rish p⛤tterns or intention⛤lly messy clothing. 

Do you h⛤ve ⛤ny ide⛤ how I might m⛤ke myself ⛤ppe⛤r more “w⛤rm” or “⛤ppro⛤ch⛤ble” without h⛤ving to dumb down my f⛤shion sense to the likes of mini⛤ture-putters? 

oh finally something i can talk about yeah ok buckle in this shits gonna be long as hell im not even gonna bother with my gimmick here i just wanna talk about clothes for a second

most trolls are dumb as shit and dont give a fuck about fashion and its not even just everyday clothes i mean youve probably seen the shit some trolls wear to dates vitriol emoji

but if youre looking for actually good inspo i have a friend who put out some shit in eclectoskeleton but also theres been some surprisingly good shit in deadliest designs monthly recently

if youre looking for advice from me specifically though then heres a couple things to think about if you wanna wear fancy pale clothes

i dont normally wear this stuff but i do at least have a working thinkpan and know way more than most idiots plus i have super real degrees in quadrantology so some of its probably good advice

colors: obviously going lighter and softer is classic its called pale feelings the pale quadrant and the holidays pale moon night so why not pale colors obviously duh

most trolls stick to blacks and grays and darker shit at least as the base of their outfits most of the time because theyre boring pieces of garbage and also cause its practical i guess

so bringing out those pale pinks or just lighter violets or whites feels special and its something you can do to soften shit up

its pretty it stands out in a crowd and it sets a mood it says i give a fuck about you and i want people to know

but you dont have to stick with that ive seen trolls get a lot of mileage out of shit like wearing a little of each others colors or you can even try their favorite colors for cute personal shit

design:

obviously you already know about shit like diamond motifs but theres ways to do that without just throwing on an ugly little argyle sweater

diamond shapes in embroidery or beading or in lace can look really fucking cute if you do it right

if you can work in moons and stars thats something pretty and obviously pale but not that stupid looking and btw dont be afraid to throw in a little bit of sparkle too

you said you have to wear floor length shit but thats not a deal breaker i mean shit big clothes are classic for paledates and even though youre not gonna be wearing actual palewear you can take those sorts of ideas and fold them into your shit by going for something flowy

i mean yeah bigass sweaters and scarves are classic but so are things like capes maybe its not always "approachable" but it can still say "i pity you or at least probably give a shit about you"

accessories:

anyway speaking of classically pale shit obviously look into pearls the pink ones even kinda look like little pink moons you get it you know what i mean

diamond shaped jewelry is classic but also cabochon cuts are also good to look into especially if you can get your fronds on any pink or white rocks or anything with a little chatoyancy

other shit i forgot to mention or general shit:  if you want you can do matching shit

it doesnt need to be one of those matching half and half diamond necklaces for wigglers or anything just making sure theyre wearing something with the same metal and decorative rock as you are or at least some of the same colors so you look good together is good enough  i got a little into this by talking about stuff like sparkles and moons and all that but just think about pale nicknames when youre thinking about what to wear "moonlight" "starlight" "moonrise" "moonbeam" "stars" "twilight"

all those things are real and actually pretty things that you can take a lot of inspiration from

even shit like "sugar" or just fucking "diamond" or any of the millions of flowers and random pink or white or sparkly things people use

[s1mp4ev3r]

(CW: vent post and bad Grammer)

When I was six there was this new older girl who got held back or smth idk, but to our class and I talked to her for a few days and noticed she watched YouTube videos with inappropriate jokes, and I really didn't think much of it, and one day she asked if she wanted to go to the bathroom stall but without us getting caught so we made a plan, that I would ask and she would ask to go to the nurse since she had a "stomach ache" and we thought that was perfect so we went to the bathroom stall and she locked the door, and pinned me to the wall and pulled down my pants to my lower hips and I was confused and uncomfortable but I felt her breath on my neck but luckily I said "hey why don't we do this later, we might miss lunch, right?" And she was like yeahhh! But still tried to make me stay but we didn't and the next day I told her "I don't wanna be friends anymore" and then she would bully me but in KINDERGARTEN, mind you that the older boys would beat me up and I would try to fight back but I couldn't, and the recess teachers would see me on the ground and say get upp but I would run up the stairs to the other grades and laugh at them or well giggle, till one day I was running to hide and saw an older boy with glasses but he was nice and became my friend but he was in fifth grade so he left that year...and I was sad but besides that let's cut back to first grade where the SA is happening, and she started bullying me and stuff till we went to another class but didn't move grades, and I would usually get into arguments over stupid things but it was because I was a mentally ill kid? Idk, but we would hide away in the class and make out sadly and now let's cut to fourth grade where I realized during flash I was getting groomed? And raped? Idk if that counts but I told my friends but they didn't believe me and during the summer of fourth grade before school ended I found out I was on my period and I didn't tell my mom till fifth grade so I survived each month with it sadly and in third grade was when I liked my first girl as well and got called gay etc etc but idrc and pushed past it and in fifth grade the whole grade knew and supported it or just didn't wanna bully me or smth and that's when I got my first bf but I liked others guys as well because hormonal stuff, duhh but I got called slurs for it and I found out in summer that I was drepressed, and then once again I found out I was genderfluid in sixth grade and didn't get bullied for it or well bc most didn't know, and now I carry this burden that if I come out to my family about this I will be blamed for coming out too late and I sexualize myself and get hypersexual because of what I've been exposed too and I usually stay up late and barely sleep at night but all day and I starve myself to be pretty and pop my pimples leaving scars as well...and I hate talking to people think everyone is judging me or hating me but now I'm 15 years old and still afraid of this.. everything really

SO TYSM for reading this if u did have a good day or night and happy holidays♥️♥️♥️ o(≧o≦)o

And all that day is that I remember the boys were Asian, Mexican, or white cannot remember. The girl was black (sorry if you do get offended) And my yellow sweater thatnwas my favorite and my dark blue leggings.

But this art is important and inspired by that.

This isn't fake, nor a lie, and I hope people who experience these kinds of things heal or get help♥️

You. Are. Not. Alone ♥️

(P.S: I know not coming out about this is terrible, but I've always been bad at speaking especially since I'm an only child and and autistic but able to do most things, forgot what's that called. But I'm not blaming those two things I'm blaming the people who have hurt me and made me realize things. Too many at a young age, and I may do more vent art posts!♥️ and remember you aren't ever alone talk to someone at home, get help, or talk to the hotline for comfort if you do! I repeat if you do feel comfortable doing that!!♥️♥️. Goodbye thanks for reading some of my young trama (does that count as trama? Idk). ♥️♥️♥️)

[elizabethplaid]

Knit for awhile. Had leftovers for dinner. Knit some more. Snacked on cottage cheese and pita chips. Knitting again. Waiting for Secret Sleepover Society's stream to start at 9, for more Silent Hill 2.

Still in the kitchen, because there's more light and less cozy here - a better environment for knitting. If I have more cozy, then I wanna snuggle or lay down, and I just can't knit while horizontal. I've triiiied.

After getting back into knitting again, my sweater craving flared up again, along with wanting to finish that pink-and-mint blanket. (Gotta buy more yarn for that!) Feeling good and chill about just working on this scarf for LL-K (library friend).

Talking with phone-friend last night, we reflected on how it's been so many months since we last met face-to-face. I talked about making Christmas cookies as a kid, how much it means to me. Briefly discussed potential gifts, and we're pretty chill with delayed delivery for stuff. I haven't updated my wishlist since my birthday, and I will pick other things to ask for from my dad.

I want to make sure I'm more stable by the time we meet up again. And with my next dental appointment at the end of January, I'm thinking sometime in late Feb or March would be best. I did remarkably well this time, recovering far faster after Thursday's appointment. But the trick is to maintain that stability, to continue doing mostly okay, even if not great enough to return to the library.

It's mostly a waiting game, a task where patience is essential. My counselor remarked recently about how gentle I'm being with myself. I said it feels like caring for a child with a cold. The kid feels miserable, but there's not much you can do to help. So you sit by their side, keep them company, distract them from the pain. It means a lot to have someone by my side, to not feel alone. And I keep reminding myself to trust that time will keep existing, that there IS such a thing as a future.

So yeah, I miss my friend, but I don't feel bad about taking the time to myself. My friend understands, and they had a busy summer, too. I miss my library friends, too, though that ache is not as severe. (Not an insult to them; I've known phone-friend for like 17 years, so they're important to me.)

[whereismyhat5678]

I know this is weird to dump on y’all but can I vent for just a few minutes? If this is even considered a vent since it’s not anything sad, I just wanna get this off my chest real quick.

(If you don’t want to read the essay I wrote scroll to the bottom and just read the TLDR 😅)

I like being a woman. I do. I like using she/her pronouns. I like wearing pretty feminine stuff. And in general I just like to be feminine. I’m happy being a girl.

But I just always wanted to just- try on a suit- JUST JUST HEAR ME OUT FOR A SECOND-

I wanna look like a dapper young gentlemen- like a very posh man that wears like- like one of those eyeglass thingys-

Like this fellow right here:

I also wanna have a mustache, LIKE THOSE ONES THAT ARE FLUFFY AND COVER YOUR MOUTH- the- THE PAINTERS BRUSH MUSTACHE!! Or examples like: The lampshade, the handlebar, the Hungarian, OR THE IMPERIAL (that one’s GODAM GORGEOUS-)

But more about the suit- I wanna- I PICTURE myself in a black slick suit with a white undershirt and a silk like tie, with nice shiny black buttons and some white gloves to match the undershirt. To show sophistication. With one of those top hats OH I LOVE THOSE!!

I’d like to see it on me but I wanna look more masculine in it like- like what I just said I wanna have a mustache and OH such a deep voice!! I wanna be those narrator voices that are soothing and just, you can fall asleep to them.

I wanna look dapper, I wanna look snazzy, I WANT TO WEAR A SUIT. I want to have a cane that I can lean onto while standing, I want other men to talk to me like if I were just another guy.

I WANT TO BE ONE OF THOSE GUYS- that are like, buff but also a bit fat since, ngl I would genuinely like to be a fluffy guy, AND REALLY TALL and look down at people. I want to be tall too not just as a man but as me because I just wanna be the size of my dad. At LEAST 6’0 that’d be AMAZING.

I WOULDN’T JUST WANNA WEAR A SUIT EITHER- I wanna be a gentlemen that wears warm cream colors and a nice soft brown sweater with a beanie and THOSE BOOTS. (You know the ones I’m talking about-). I wanna have big legs and wear those jeans that look HUGE to other people but are normal for you cuz you’re just a big guy! I wanna wear that, THAT AMAZING SMELLING COLOGNE GOD DO I WANT TO WEAR COLOGNE.

Okay- to wrap things up- sometimes, I just want to look masculine AND IF ANYTHING IF I CAN’T LOOK MASCULINE AND APPEALING (and smoke cigars like one of them guys in the movies, drink alcohol or beer even though I don’t like it- OH AND HOW HAVE I NOT MENTIONED WANTING TO HAVE THAT MAN GOLFER FIT-)

OKAY BUT REAL QUICK- I’d want to have like A BUNCH OF PAPER BOY HATS (I already wear them and I LOVE THEM SO MUCH- but if I looked like a man?? 🤯🤯) with like different colors to have one each day to match the shirt I’m wearing- with brown pointed at the tip shoes that are shiny and SO SO HANDSOME!!! I wanna look handsome I want someone to tell me I look handsome in like a vest and a red tie with a paper boy hat and nice cologne and A GOD DAMN SOPHISTICATED ASS MUSTACHE!- And when I go golfing with buddies I have the casual golfer fit, BECAUSE THEY JUST SO NICE AND SPIFFY AND HANDSOME I WANNA LOOK LIKE THAT!!!

I love being a woman, I REALLY DO- I like being a woman because in the future I wanna look beautiful in pretty dresses and nice necklaces and pretty shiny hair (short obviously-) and cute glasses to match my cute outfits! Heck I wanna wear some of these dresses:

Vintage I know- but you gotta admit they look GORGEOUS!!!

And I’ll admit I’m completely fine with being a woman because of this! I wanna look pretty in dresses, be called beautiful, have a dazzling outfit to make myself look even prettier!

But I also just, wanna look handsome! Wear a suit. Have a mustache. Have a nice deep voice and- funny story- I remember I saw an episode of Steven Universe where Pearl was wearing a suit and I thought she looked AMAZING!!

I ended up telling my mom that when I got to Prom I want to have a suit, which my mom laughed and jokingly said I would look like a lesbian. Of course I don’t like woman like that, I think they’re all beautiful but just not like that. But in general I thought to myself I just wanna see myself in a suit, a tie, nice shoes, a nice hat, with cologne. And I again don’t even have to look masculine, I just want to look handsome and spiffy!

I started liking the idea of having masculine facial hair because I can’t stop thinking about if I did have those things, they would be AWESOME!!

I’m sorry if I ended up writing too much or confusing you with my words, so in long short of it:

I like being a woman, wouldn’t mind wearing a suit, wouldn’t mind having a masculine voice features hair etc, and I wanna look handsome. But I still like dressing femininely.

I’m sorry for the long talk, I just wanted to spill my mind a bit, nothing much to it though 🤷‍♀️

[foxgloveinspace]

It’s W.I.P. Weekend!!🎉🎉🎉🎉 aka, a new thing I’m gonna try to start where I post pics of all the knit w.i.ps I’m working on or gonna try to work on, lol.

I haven’t been knitting too much just cause I’ve had a cold. I have been working on the shawl in the middle pic more cause it’s just a knit stitch, and it’s easy to just pick up while I’m still tried.

@thoseeyeslikefire (idk if you still want me to tag you in knitting stuff, but uhhh.. yeah🖤)

Pattern info and stuff under the read more cause this is gonna be long!

The top two pics are of my Southwood Sweater! I’m knitting it using some Big Twist yarn in the color Olive Drab. I’m gonna work on this today!! Finish that sleeve!!!!!! It’s been on the needles since February, and folded up in my project bag since like May, so I really just wanna finish it oof. Gonna be my first real sweater and I’m so excited to get it done!

The middle pic is my Sunflower shawl! Only Amy has seen a pic of it so far, and it was just a tiny triangle then, and now I am just over half way with the garter stitch portion. I’m making it on some Yarn Bee yarn in their Bamboo-tiful yarn in the color cognac. It’s turning out to be such drape-y, and silky, and I’m so happy with how it’s turning out.

Last two pics are a Pass The Honey Cardigan, which I am making for my sister! It’s also being made using some Big Twist yarn in the color titanium I think?? Or medium gray. We bought the yarn last fall🥲. I’m really liking how the pattern is coming along, its just that since it’s one piece it’s taking so long to make. I do hope to have this done November tho (since that’s the time of year we can start wearing thicker fabrics around here). I do think I’ll have to make one for myself some time though, cause I am loving it so much. Maybe in a charcoal??