#(and lbr his dad probably smacked that idea into him too :/)

[bougiebutchbitch]

........okay okay okay hear me out

in House’s Head, House realizes he would rather fantasize about diagnosing symptoms than sex

and there’s obviously a bit of self-loathing involved (”How messed up is that?”, his subconscious asks grumpily, in the voice of one tragically un-naked Lisa Cuddy)

he is CONSTANTLY overcompensating and cracking sex jokes to literally anyone who moves in his vicinity

but I think in 4 long seasons he’s been shown having actual hook ups... twice. Once with his ex-girlfriend, once with a random hooker. He likes to sabotage his own potential relationships before they ever reach a physical stage - pretty much every time he shows genuine interest in someone, by the end of that episode or the next he’s pushed them away for whatever obscure reason. And it’s supposed to show his fears of being emotionally vulnerable, but it also means he never really gets physically vulnerable, either. Which - yeah, could be interesting to poke at with regards to his identity as a disabled man, but I also raise you....

ACE HOUSE?????? ACE HOUSE HEADCANONS???????????? I COULD MAKE THIS WORK

[shieldslinger-a]

give me your side of stevetony too thank you

Who asks the other on dates: both. they’re both grossly romantic people and have a tendency to want to indulge and show that to each other by taking the time to do things they know the other likes. now granted--these dates are unfortunately few and far between, because both of them are horribly busy and tend to put work first. but, you know, if after a mission they end up staying an extra few hours in england or france or italy-- Who is the bigger cuddler: tony. lbr it’s always tony. they both have a huge thing about touch, i mean they’re constantly rubbing shoulders or reaching a hand out to touch each other, but the second--and i mean the second--steve’s lap is available tony is there, like a little lap sniper, just claiming the empty space with his feet or his head or his whole body. like if steve’s lap is empty, tony is just not in the area, must be out of town, not in the state not in the country, because otherwise tony is there, right there in steve’s space. and honestly steve loves it, he likes idly playing with tony’s hair and giving absentminded back rubs Who initiates holding hands more often: steve. i’ll go in on this more later but holding hands is the best thing for steve because it’s intimate but it’s not... like, he’s comfortable doing it. and it’s natural and it feels good, and it’s not glaringly in your face kind of affection. so it means he gets to do this one little thing that was super unheard of in his day and age (two men holding hands) and it’s not a lot, but he doesn’t take it for granted at all, and it feels good to be able to hold tony’s hand casually when they’re out and about, just being normal people, or when they’re in meetings, just reaching over to hold tony’s hand under the table, or just holding hands at a party, nothing claiming, nothing extravagant, just a pleasant bit of touch tethering him to tony

Who remembers anniversaries: tony. ok look, the only reason this is tony and not a neither is because tony has friday, which is kind of cheating tbh, because friday is not tony or steve. but, friday wants her dumb, very-much-in-love dad to be very successful in his relationship, so she reminds him frequently about the anniversaries and special occasions. thing is tho--still doesn’t mean steve shows up because he remembers. again, just because he knows its his anniversary doesn’t mean he’s gonna show because that means he has to stop what he’s doing (fighting baddies, most likely) and hurry on home, and 9/10 he’s gonna get waylaid or distracted or shoved into a universe for the next 12 years. Who is more possessive: steve. it’s not your typical kind of possessive, it’s not like he’s obsessive in it, he’s just... tony’s his person, right? arguably, tony’s been his person since almost day one, and there’s just... steve feels his most normal and most valued as steve when he’s with tony. he likes the way tony makes him feel, likes the way tony looks at him and just wants to feel that good all the time. and it’s not like he wants tony to only spend time with him ever but... like tony can spend time with anyone and he should!! he should have more friends, steve isn’t going to begrudge him that at all. just so long as tony loves him bestest. and comes home to him. and seeks his comfort and advice first on the important stuff, not someone else’s. because to steve, that’s intimacy--sharing thoughts and feelings and dreams and nightmares, with one person who is his Person. and like yeah, again, he should have friends he talks to and relies on, it’s not that steve wants tony all to himself, he just wants to be first. which, if he was less oblivious, he’d realize that he’s pretty much always first, but he wants to feel like the most important thing to tony (next to superhero-ing, they both know this, they both know that being the hero and saving lives is first, is #1, is the most important thing they’ll ever do with their lives) and get all those good tony thoughts first. everyone else just has to wait to be second Who gets more jealous: steve. arguably the whole blowup over the whole illuminati is because steve rogers got really fucking jealous (and felt betrayed) that tony had friends that he trusted more than steve. steve absolutely gets jealous--not in the physical way, mind you, he doesn’t think tony’s going to cheat on him and have sex with someone else. but he’s intensely afraid that tony will lose interest in him and find someone else new and fascinating and want to spend all his time with that person. and he gets very jealous if he thinks that’s happening, because while he doesn’t think that tony would cheat--in any meaning of the word, physically or mentally--it’s a fear that he’ll... lose tony’s interest and he’ll look for someone else to be that challenging force in his life, the kind that makes him want to be and do better. he likes being tony’s person and likes being the one tony goes to with his thoughts and ideas--no matter how dumb or big or small or over his head they are. that’s just what you do with your person. you go to them with whatever’s on your mind so they can know you best, as well as they know themselves. and he so desperately wants to be that for tony and wants tony to be that for him Who is more protective: both. they’re the worst. the absolute worst. if one of them looks like they’re in trouble? the other one is right there, even if that’s like, the worst possible move. they’re that meme of one jumping in front of the other and then the other one bends over to protect them and then the other one bends and-- yeah they’re just the worst ok. like it’s even more terrible now that they’re in love and the last thing they want is to live in the world without each other. i mean, steve’s symbol is a fucking shield, for gods sake, he’s going to do his best to protect the people he loves because that’s just who he is as a person Who is more likely to cheat: neither. listen they’re both one-and-done people. they commit, 100%, to whoever they’re dating at the time, and honestly, it only gets worse when they’re dating each other. everyone thought they were already dating and/or married before, and now it’s just worse because now they’re making heart eyes at each other purposefully. like look, they just. they’re very dedicated people and now that steve’s found his person he’s settling hard and already thinking of happily ever after and it’s got tony solidly in the middle of that picture Who initiates sexy times the most: steve. it’s... complicated for steve. he loves tony, he does, that’s the foundation everything else is built on. but this is a very complicated relationship for him--it’s tony, who has been his best friend and anchor from day one, and a man, which is not in his usual wheelhouse of relationships. and it means he has to confront some things he’s internalized and repressed over the years, and it means he has to take it slow because he desperately doesn’t want to fuck this up. so it’s really at steve’s pace and he’s very very interested in exploring it all with tony, but he’s also very much in love and they’re intense so he wants to make sure they both have fun and are comfortable Who dislikes PDA the most: steve. it’s less that he doesn’t like PDA but more that he’s nervous of showing that affection, knowing that they’re nearly always under public scrutiny. he’s not really... 100% ready to be out to the world, because he knows what kind of support and lashback there will be, and he’s afraid that while he can handle it, with how fresh and fragile this new relationship is, he doesn’t want to burden it with press and interviews and tabloids. but at the same time, he wants to do right by tony and he doesn’t want him to think that steve’s ashamed of them, because he’s not?? he’s just afraid of what his knee-jerk reactions could be if he reads some of the more negative things and internalizes it, because he has a horrible tendency of doing that. so a lot of the PDA stuff goes at steve’s pace, and he pushes boundaries as he’s comfortable. at most, he tends to want to hold Tony’s hand in public, but otherwise it’s fairly chaste. however, it should be noted that around avengers tower, when there’s no one or not a lot of people around, they’re a lot more relaxed about it, and are frequently caught cuddling on the sofa, with maybe some light making out. it’s not that common to see them kissing though, as they’re (steve) actually pretty mindful of not wanting to be caught with their pants down. literally and metaphorically. the penthouse tho? you better be knockin. Who kills the spider: neither. there are spider people in this family that would object to the murder of their spider kin. also, maybe that spider is actually ant-man ok, or the wasp, it’s just too dangerous to try and smack small things, it’s just better to catch and release Who asks the the other to marry them: steve. he’s kind of already broached the subject? and like, when he asked, it was just a quick question, like a conversation normal couples have, because he knows that... like the deal breaker for a lot of his past relationships has been his inability to settle down. it’s not lack of commitment, steve’s a very dedicated partner, it’s always the fact that he’s fine with the status quo and very easily gets wrapped up in his job of being captain america. which is nothing new, btw, it’s always like this, it’s steve’s worst struggle in life, keeping steve rogers alive. but he’s learned from past relationships and he’s grown and he’s aware that marriage is a thing a lot of people--himself included--desire, and tony’s been engaged before so--yeah. he asked, if tony wanted to get married, tony freaked, and steve hasn’t figured out a way to ask gently again. on the one hand, it was probably a little early in the relationship to consider the question, so you know, he’s gonna give it a while, let them settle, get comfortable, be in love and be themselves. because the other half of it is--if they get married, it’s gotta be big and public. and that means they’re not really privately dating anymore, it’s all public and it’s all for people to meddle and mess in and he’s sure that people are gonna try to mess them up and--he doesn’t doubt tony, he doesn’t, but he’s selfish and he wants tony and this relationship for himself for as long as they can. marriage will come, eventually, and it won’t change a single thing between them, it’ll just mean they’re Official™ and out in the open. and steve, the romantic sap, will likely be the one to ask, on bended knee, with ring and all Who buys the other flowers or gifts: tony. it’s not that steve doesn’t do this at all--he does, actually! he usually comes home with some little trinket he saw while on a trip, or a bouquet of flowers, or he’ll knit a hat or scarf or sock (not socks, he’s too frequently interrupted to really complete more than like, 5 pairs), and when he’s really getting back into it, he’ll paint or draw something specifically for tony. it’s all little stuff and heartfelt stuff, but definitely in the range of normal. tony’s the extravagant one--new suits, new robots, new training rooms, new mansions, new teams, new planes--listen, if steve wanted it or even hinted at wanting it, tony is right there, ready to buy it or figure out how to make it. and also, if i’m honest? all the money in steve’s account is basically tony’s originally. steve... pretty much lives off the avengers stipend at this point, having cut ties with the government and shield, meaning he’s down to his paycheck for essentially being a full-time avenger. and you know, it’s not like he’s paying rent or utilities either, he doesn’t really have a lot of things he’s paying for himself, it’s just little ol’ steve on his pretty decent stipend and any little thing he finds that he might think tony would appreciate, he’s happy to spend his money on. but again--tony’s the big spender here. he’ll buy out restaurants just so he and steve can have a quiet night out for once, or rent an entire mansion in italy so they can have a nice retreat. really, i think now that steve’s dating tony and they’re in love, i think he feels a little better about tony spending money, because in his mind, it’s not just for him, but for them, and it’s a lot easier to swallow that price tag when he knows tony deserves the world Who would bring up possibly having kids: steve. he’s literally already done this. steve rogers is just painfully family driven. he loves kids. loves them. he loves to teach and to pass on what knowledge he has and he loves the future and seeing those kids grow and learn. and it really doesn’t matter if steve is the biological father or not? just any baby or kid in his general vicinity, the man locks on and makes a b-line for because he gotta hold the baby. so yeah, steve’s definitely the one to bring it up first, because there’s already a baby in their care without parents and he could be a parent, and he’s dating tony, and in his mind tony would be an even better parent than he would be, so yeah. they should take the ultra powerful starbrand baby, name her haley, and be a little super family, he thinks it’s a great idea Who is more nervous to meet the parents: neither. nervous? no. i mean if parents were alive there might be some nerves, but they’re dead on both sides. furious, however--listen. steve “i yelled at the all-father for being terrible to thor” rogers, don’t think that saves howard fucking stark from the same treatment. he’s got some opinions to share with howard, and they might be his fists and he might be very excited to use them. Who sleeps on the couch when the other is angry: neither. they both don’t sleep when they’re arguing. fighting with each other--which lbr, having sex and pillow talk definitely cuts down on the fighting and overall miscommunication and trust issues, but it’s not steve and tony if they never have fights ever. so when they fight, they both end up staying up late and they both throw themselves into their work, avoiding all the usual stomping grounds for as long as they can before they need sleep and can begin to really make up. Who tries to make up first after arguments: tony. listen neither of them are very good at communicating and both of them can get worked up and have tempers, which means 90% of the time when they argue it’s because one or both of them are hurt and don’t know how to effectively communicate it. the problem with that is--steve’s not good with feelings. his gut reaction tends to be anger, even when his real feeling is closer to something else (sadness, hurt, betrayal, etc). and he tends to avoid examining his emotions unless he’s prompted... which means he usually sits and simmers and stews until tony comes back to try to talk to him again. usually by that point, he’s calmed down enough (tho a steve rogers grudge is mighty) that he can listen to tony and not get riled again, and actually will attempt to express his feelings in a more reasonable manner. especially because there’s time for the steve rogers empathy to kick in, which means by this time there’s a good chance his guilt has made a home and had kids, which makes him just that much more amenable to compromise and apologies Who tells the other they love them more often: both. god they’re gross about it. the pda might be something they keep to a minimum, but the ‘i love you’s are pretty much constant. every time they see each other, every time they part, every time they think of each other (they think of each other a lot). i mean ‘i love you’ is practically as common as their shoulder touches--which now they get to do shoulder touches and i love yous at the same time, gee, aren’t they unbearable?

@shellheadtm​ | send me a ship and i’ll rant