#(and it's hard to know who/what you're dealing with and can be a lot of emotional labor or just mild stress XD)

[summertimesadnessirl]

Sometimes I think it's like...

Cis people also put a lot of effort into passing.

Or we're encouraged to feel weird about not meeting gender based expectations socially?

I don't know if it's dysphoria, it's not fair to use that word.

I literally am cis and I have felt, in my life, all the time, that I'm not a "real" woman in some way. Not in a way where like, I feel cool and empowered by the idea of being without gender. I thought maybe that was it at one point. Like "maybe I'm trans. I get along better with male friends who aren't attracted to me and treat me like one of the guys. I get along well with trans people and I find some gender based expectations really hard." I don't think I am, because I can understand the idea of wanting to do drag or not talk about your gender online but when I think of people misgendering me when I am not doing those things it feels really bad.

But? Like? That feeling is taught to you when you're a kid. It never goes away. Your body isn't gender dimorphic enough. People don't treat you like they treat the other people of your gender. They are all confused by things you do. Things they do confuse you.

In my case I decided I'm just otherkin. I don't talk about it much. People take it the wrong way. I am not like the other people, even the other people with a lot of my mental health diagnoses, because I'm secretly not a human being like they are. My mom wanted a baby and came home for lunch because she was ovulating, and it was someone else who wasn't my father and they weren't human and they didn't want me but they impregnated her. They suck for leaving me. Whatever. It's fine for everyone to feel like I don't fit because they're another species and they let me live here in their community but we misunderstand each other all the time. I try not to creep them out if they aren't mean.

But like... why do you think all those "femininity coach" "feminine energy" people are radicalizing so many cis women? Why is that the title of "the feminine mystique?" Men definitely deal with that, too. Cis people don't stop being insecure about their gender identity just because they are cis.

So that's part of it.

But also like?

When you first meet a nb person specifically, you're like ???

Suddenly you realize how many things you say and do have a gendered component in your brain.

Like in animal crossing?

The og animal crossing gave you the choice of saying

"Isn't it cute?" Or "Isn't it cool?" To tell the game your gender.

Isn't that weird? Like?

I didn't realize that's what the question meant, because it didn't say, and then I kind of felt insane for like a week after. Like???

Cool and cute. If you think of it as a question like "each one of these means a gender" you know which they mean is which. But if you just objectively say "do you think your name is cool or cute?" Why would someone think that? Also how do I immediately know which is which when you tell me cool and cute are the two genders?

I was a kid. They didn't have stuff about gender all over the internet then.

This was brand new information.

It was like...

Baby's first non dualism.

Idk.

People don't realize how much of manners is based on the person's gender unless they actually think about it.

And the older people are, the more important manners are to them.

Probably if they are not evil, you can just tell them how to do manners for you and they will leave you alone. Which isn't a good solution but that's the problem for people who aren't evil.

Okay but can anyone articulate the mindset that leads older people to feel like they NEED to know people's gender identity all the time? Like what's going on there

[stardust-swan]

What Advice Does Aphrodite Have for You?

Pick a picture: 1, 2, 3

Note: this is a general reading

Pile 1

Aphrodite is calling on you to stop dwelling on the negative and focus on the beauty in your life.

I'm getting a sense that you're struggling with feeling unfocused. Maybe you feel directionless, or you're putting your energy into too many different directions at once and feeling burnt out because of it. I feel a sense of procrastination and/or ignoring realities, or just having a scattered approach which doesn't yield the results you want.

I'm also getting a sense of loss or regret, maybe over a lost or squandered opportunity. You're dwelling on the past and not facing the current reality.

However, not all is lost.

Aphrodite's message to you:

You must process loss, and re-evaluate how you're spending your time and energy. Although you might not agree right now, change is on the way. You will experience victory, and take control of your life instead of letting it slip by. A sense of energy, willpower and movement is bubbling under the surface even though you might not feel it right now. But it's necessary for you to stop dwelling on your regrets and to focus on the beauty in your life if you want to succeed. She also cautions you against distractions and hesitation - where are you losing focus? The reins are in your hands and the road in front of you is wide. You can move forward to a life or purpose, love and fulfilment, as long as you heed her advice to see the beauty amongst the ruins and to not let your vision of the future become clouded.

Pile 2

Aphrodite is calling on you to release yourself from rigid expectations and to focus on your dreams.

I'm getting a sense that you feel trapped by the expectations that have been placed upon you, whether by yourself or others. There may also be a power struggle or overly controlling power dynamic.

There's also a sense of annoyance here because someone is failing to meet expectations. You may be dealing with emotional immaturity or unfulfilled expectations. Someone may not acting with sincerity. Or you could be annoyed with yourself rather than another person and struggling with emotional insecurity. You may be ignoring your dreams in fear of being hurt.

And there's a sense of hard work. You may be wondering if all your grinding will have the desired results you want, and the answer is YES. Your hard work will be rewarded, especially in the creative world. Commit to your dreams and be patient; the fruits of your labour will be sweet.

Aphrodite's message to you

Set boundaries with those who hinder or oppress you. Stay grounded and realistic in love and emotional matters; avoid unrealistic ideals and avoid promises that sound too good to be true. Tend carefully to your garden, as the first sprouts of your labour are begining to emerge. Have patience, as beauty takes time to bloom.

Pile 3

You've been through a LOT, and feel worn down. But it's made you more resilient and you're standing strong. A goal you've worked hard for is in reach, but there are still some obstacles to overcome.

There's a sense that you're repressing some difficult emotions. It's also possible that someone in your life is betraying you or that there's gossip surrounding you. However, the light at the end of the tunnel is nearing. You will release all the negative feelings and learn to cope better. If a partner is being unfaithful, they will be exposed. The worst is over and it's time to heal and rest.

There's also a sense of passion to the point it's harmful. There's emotional turmoil and moodiness; in matters of love you may be dealing with a person who appears charming on the surface, but will break your heart. Or you could have a crush on someone who doesn't reciprocate. In matters of health, an unhealthy or hedonistic lifestyle may be having bigger effects on your health than you realise.

Aphrodite's message to you

You are stronger than you know, but even the strongest of people deserve to rest sometimes. She cautions you against chasing illusions or clinging to people who are bad for you because you miss how they made you feel in the beginning. Ask yourself what kind of love you truly need and deserve instead of being grateful for scraps of affection. She encourages you to embrace hope; she is gently brushing the weight you've been carrying off of your shoulders. You are safe to breathe, to dream, and to heal. Your scars are proof of your courage, but do not let them harden your heart - guard yourself, but not so tightly you shut out love. Rest and ready yourself, as the journey is not over, but you are now more prepared for it.

[kichikichiko]

haiiii!! I’d like to put in a request for Boothill x an alcoholic mechanic reader who’s personality takes a complete 180 when drunk, like when the reader is sober they’re a really quiet nervous person but when they feed their addiction they turn into a party animal.(If I had to compare the reader’s personality to an existing character I’d say they’re like hiroi from bocchi the rock) also I think it’d be cute if the reader did things like maintenance checks and fixed up Boothill/his stuff from time to time :3

Moonshine

Happy new year everyone! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و sorry I've been gone for so long!

Also so sorry for taking this long to write your request ;; I had the biggest writers block in my life last year

Hope you like this silly lil fic of Boothill! (He's my favourite character good lord)

Pairing: Boothill x gn mechanic alcoholic! reader

Synopsis: Reader is an alcoholic in disguised, and your client (and secret crush)

Warnings: Fluff, Reader likes drinking alcohol, Reader is mentioned to be shy but takes a 180 on their personality after intaking alcohol, nicknames/ petnames mentioned by Boothil, not proofread.

Working as a mechanic is no easy job. Nights without sleep, days with frustrations. It just never ends! Of course you’re going to turn to alcohol for solace and comfort. It is only natural! You tell yourself. 

It’s not like you drink alcohol as you work no no no. You grab a bottle of alcohol and drown yourself to the intoxicating taste of it after hours. During harder days, you’ll go to a bar during the night and get real drunk. Dancing to the live band, singing with other patrons, talking with strangers… all of that. Because of that, you always prefer to get drunk alone, where no one you know can see that side of you. After all, you were shy and quiet and always got the job done. That’s what your frequent and loyal client, Boothill the cyborg, thinks anyway. 

Boothill is known to run into danger, Hell, he probably is Danger himself. So it’s not surprising he ends up with a few bad damages to his metal body here and there. He always comes to you for a bit (a lot actually-) of fixing up. It’s totally because he thinks you're reliable and not because of any other reason… 

“You should be more mindful about yourself, Boothill. This is the third time you’ve visited my workshop in a week.” You grumbled as you fixed up his mechanic arm. 

“What's all the fuss about sweetheart? My human head is perfectly fine, besides, this time it’s only my arm that’s in rough shape.” He grins which earned him a disapproving shake of your head. 

“Still, that doesn’t mean you're invincible. What if one day your heart is the one getting damaged? You know how much work and stress you’ll put me through?” You weren’t yelling per say, you never yelled at Boothill, or anyone for that matter. But it was very evident you were annoyed and worried. 

Boothill sighed and nodded his head “Alright sugarplum, I’ll be more careful next time.” 

You hummed in response and silence ensued, only the sound of you tinkering with your equipment filled the workshop. Boothill looked at you from his seat. The crease of your eyebrows, the small frown on your lips and the sweat dripping from your forehead so focused on fixing his arm. Sometimes he feels a little guilty, for making you work hard almost everyday when he comes to visit you. He’ll never admit that sometimes he gets into real danger just to see you often. Small maintenance once a week doesn’t cut it for him. He wanted to see you everyday. 

“Hey sweetheart, you’ve been working real hard today, how ‘bout after this, I take you out for a drink?” The cowboy smirked, waiting for your reply. He’s never seen you drink before, and he doesn't know if you do, but it’s worth the shot to ask. 

You paused for a second, then looked up at him “You’ll pay?” 

He scoffed at your question. “I’ll getcha as many drinks as you want.”

“Deal.”

★⋆. ࿐࿔

Hours passed, and you finally closed up your workshop. Boothill seemed to know the area well, because he decided to take you to a bar quite far from your workshop, despite there being a bar quite near your place. Honestly, you were glad for his suggestion. You were a regular customer in the bar near your workshop, and dare not make that known to Boothill. 

You started to regret taking up Boothill’s offer for a drink, in fear of getting drunk and letting your “party animal” side come out. What would he think of you? Would he be shocked? Disgusted?. You shook your head. It's not like I get drunk with just one drink.. but the fear remains. 

When you both arrived at the bar, you made a mental note to just have a maximum of two drinks. 

You and Boothill sat by the bar (counter), “Heya boss, a glass of whiskey for me and..” Boothill turned to you, waiting for your reply. 

“Sweetened mood for me.” you told the Bartender, who nodded and started making your drinks. 

“Thanks for today by the way, (Name). I always know I can count on you to get me back to shape” 

You smiled a little and shook your head. “Not an easy job having you come in so often, but no problem.” Just then, the bartender gave you both your drinks. 

“Aw c’mon, havin’ me around has its perks, don't lie now sugarcube you love havin’ me around.”

You didn’t reply but you silently agreed, and took a sip of your drink.. drink number one. 

The conversation between the two of you flowed so smoothly, like the amount of alcohol you started to drink. It was already more than two, and you felt your cheeks flush. But you didn’t stop. 

As if fate was trying to push you further, a live band started to play, and the urge to dance along kicked in. You felt light headed and tipsy, but instead of stopping you ordered another alcohol and chugged it down. 

“Woah there (name) didn’t know you could drink this much! Had I known, I would’ve taken you out back then!” 

You slammed your cup on the table and laughed “I’m sure you would have, but I would have said no to your offer.” truly the alcohol was taking over your senses, because you felt yourself stand up from your seat and slowly swat to the beat of the song from the live band. Boothill’s eyes followed you and widened when you started dancing to the music. Your laugh, your smile, the red cheeks clearly intoxicated. This was the you he has never seen before, but he doesn’t complain. Instead, he grinned and went to the dance floor with you and started dancing along. 

You smiled at him “Follow my movements cowboy, only if you can of course.” You teased.

“Is that a challenge, sugarplum?” The said cowboy teased back. 

“Depends on how you take it.”

The atmosphere of the bar became more lively, dancing, laughing and cheering along. Making you all the more hyped and making Boothill all the more attracted to you. 

Hours later, the music stopped and the atmosphere dulled down to a calm one. By this point, the cowboy knew it was time to take you back.

“You sure caught me by surprise, (name).” He chuckled, carrying your sleeping figure back to your place.

Though you couldn’t hear him, he continued. “I hope you’ll show me this side of you again, sweetheart.”

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺

Masterlist

Requesting

[kurokawaia]

DON'T BE SILLY 彡 Shinazugawa Sanemi

WC; 800+ | TW/CW :: reader is very polite and timid, FEM!Reader, afab, fem!reader x sanemi, emotional distress, mentions of injury, mild language, themes of loneliness and insecurites, reader is called 'wife' + more

⋆·˚ ༘ *𝑅𝐸𝒬𝒰𝐸𝒮𝒯 : (filled request) But I was wondering, if you are a viable could you do a one shot with either iguro or shinazugawa, where the reader misses them a lot since they go on missions but doesn’t say anything because they don’t want to be clingy or anything. Instead they tell someone else (shinobu or mitsuri) who end up telling the guy about and they comfort the reader. - ANON

m.list | demon slayer m.list

Currently, you were at the Butterfly Mansion, trying to enjoy the time you have by yourself but it was really hard to do so, to enjoy it. Not even the sunset, which is beautiful, the soft glow which is about to disappear beneath the trees. No, you can't even enjoy that with the distress in your heart. Your heart aches deeply but you had to push those feelings down, you won't let your tears spill over. You won't cry. 

Sanemi is gone again, off on another dangerous mission, leaving his wife behind. You hate how much you miss him, all the smiles he shares with you, only you, his voice, his hands, how he clings to you like a cat when he wakes up. He haunts you when he's out on a mission. But you can't do anything. 

You didn't want to be that kind of person—the one who begged for attention

So, you kept it to yourself, bottling it up until you felt like you might burst. The words came tumbling out only because of Mitsuri, you can't lie to her shes your best friend, she knows when you're lying.

"I just... I miss him so much," you admitted. "I know it's silly, but I feel like I'm always waiting for him. And I can't even say anything because I don't want to seem clingy or selfish. He has enough to deal with already..."

Mitsuri gasped, her hands flying to her mouth as it dropped in shock. "That's not silly at all!" she said cupping your hands. "Sanemi should know how much you care. You're not selfish for missing someone you love."

"It's not like that! I mean—okay, maybe it is, but I don't want to bother him!"

"I'll handle this for you!" She announces already walking away from you.

Hours then passed until Sanemi finally came home. He was indefinitely tired anyone who saw him could tell that he was. He was about to head into the bath house before Mitsuri popped out in front of him, almost as if she was cornering him from going anywhere else.

"Sanemi!" she began, hands on her hips. "You're such a dummy sometimes, you know that?"

"What are you going on about, Kanroji?"

"It's your wife!" she exclaimed. "She misses you so much and feel too guilty to tell you because they don't want to seem clingy! Can you believe that?"

Sanemi froze. 

She feels what?

He pushed past Mitsuri and slides open the door abruptly to your shared room. Your head perks up to the door, seeing Sanemi standing there and you could see the worried expression on your face which made your heart ache, wondering if he is okay.

Sanemi then suddenly sat down next to the futon, elbows resting on his knees as he gazed down to you, analyzing your pretty face and he could see it, the worry on your face. 

"You missed me?" he asked.

Your eyes widened. "What? No—I mean, yes, but I—" You groaned, burying your face in your pillow. "Mitsuri told you, didn't she?"

"Yeah," he admitted. "She did."

You couldn't bring yourself to look at him, your embarrassment threatening to swallow you whole. But then you felt his hands move around your body, pulling you up into a hug, arms tightly wrapped around you and you feel as if you were going to cry because it's been so long since you've felt safe in his arms.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" he asked softly. "I'm not gonna think you're clingy or whatever crap you've been telling yourself."

"I didn't want to make things harder for you," you muttered. "You're already out there fighting for your life. The last thing you need is me whining about how much I miss you."

"Listen to me," he said firmly. "I go on those missions because I have to, yeah. But you're the reason I come back. Don't ever think for a second that missing me or wanting me around is a burden. Got it?"

Tears pricked your eyes and it wasn't too long before they began to fall and your arms tightly wrapped themselves around his neck, pulling him in closer.

"I missed you too, you know," he murmured against your hair.

He rested his chin on top of your head and his heart begins to ssync with yours, this is the first time he has felt at peace for days ever since the mission ended, he doesn't think he will ever feel calm unless he has you in his arms.

"Next time, just tell me, okay? Don't bottle it up. I'm tough, but I'm not so tough I don't want to know how you feel."

You nodded against his chest. "I will. I promise."

"Good," he said. "Because I'm not going anywhere. Cling to me all you want."

Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.

m.list | demon slayer m.list

[bugbutton]

a practical example of this is right from a previous class of 3- and 4-year olds that i worked with.

as an adult, and as a teacher, all i know is what i see: that my student is crying because another student purposely knocked over their tower of blocks. to me personally, that's not a big deal, because I'm a patient adult, and it's just blocks, and of course I wasn't over there building, so to me it's whatever. a lot of adults might comfort this child by saying, "it's okay, you can build another one."

but imagine I'm three years old, and I've been focusing hard using my limited, still developing motor skills to meticulously design and balance this tower. I've been at it for a good 5-10 minutes, even, which is a long time for my attention to be on something! and I'm really proud of how it's turning out! and then my classmate came over and kicked it down and laughed.

now, if I was that child, or if another adult did that to me in an analogous situation, I'd be fucking pissed!!! and so would you, or any other person, because that sucks! would I want to hear, "it's okay, you can build another one"? fuck no, that would make me so mad!

so what I say when I talk to that child is:

- I acknowledge the events that happened.

"You've been working really hard on that tower for a long time. Someone just came and knocked it over."

- I name and validate the child's feelings. This is big because kids are still learning how to identify and name what emotions they are experiencing.

"That made you really angry. I would be angry if someone knocked over my tower, too."

- I tend to explain a little more, just 'cause I'm naturally a yapper, plus it's developmentally beneficial for the kids to talk to them often.

"It's really unfair that that happened. I can imagine that you're probably feeling really frustrated and sad."

- Once they start to calm down a little, we talk about resolution:

"Let's talk to [the student who knocked it down]. We can tell them how it made you feel when they knocked over your tower."

*it's super important to have the kids actually involved in the conflict resolution, as opposed to just talking to their classmates and doing it for them! yes, as the teacher I set the guidelines and the template for that, and mediate it so that it can actually resolve, but having the children involved in the process teaches them and shows them a healthy, acceptable way to address interpersonal conflict (because humans do not naturally know these things and must be taught, and while it is completely developmentally appropriate for a child experiencing a strong emotion to hit, bite, kick, scratch, pinch, run away/elope, or other potentially dangerous things, we definitely want to teach them a more effective way. because if we don't, they might grow into adults who still don't know how to handle interpersonal conflict in a healthy and effective way, and I'm sure we all know someone who exemplifies why *that* isn't the ideal outcome...)

Every time a small child starts crying or having a tantrum in my vicinity and I catch the parents glancing at me I’ve started saying “me when…”.

Friend kept trying to tell his crying kindergartener to calm down and relax and the kid growled “I AM relaxed” while visibly tensing every muscle in his body and I was like “oh that’s me at work every day” and we had a chuckle.

Parents look to other adults like “shit are they mad? Do they think my kid is acting like a demon?” And this response is my attempt to say “no. I think your kid is just acting like a human being.”

I WISH I could fling myself on the ground and cry because I experienced a minor inconvenience.

[shinischis]

Was thinking about a lil kaishin hc again, as I always do, but then again, I'm me, ans I thrive for side effects of the aptx antidote

Post Conan, I think shinichi would have a lot and I mean ALOT of side effects. Having grown in the body of a child for... let's say 2 years maybe? (I think it'd take a while to finally take down the Black org and when they actually do, the antidote isn't there and they have to end up taking down other branches of the organisation for anything about the poison and then they cheer).

First of all, My favourite one, he has chronic pain. It's mostly from the amount of temporary antidotes he's taken, so the size of bones and muscles changing so many times, yea, that kinda develops it.

He'd have that on and off pain where when it'd come to a random time, he'd just feel ache and stinging everywhere. The first time it happens, he thinks it's the antidote not working and that he's gonna turn back to Conan, but it happens MULTIPLE times for weeks, so he ends up building up a fake name and identity with his mother's help and gets it checked out.

I like to think that shinichi would hide it from kaito during their getting together days. He doesn't wanna worry people anymore, so he ends up unintentionally hiding it, the only people who know are haibara, since she's his kind of doctor, then there's the professor for obvious reasons cuz shinichi just tells him everything, and then Ran. He doesn't directly tell her, she just witness it .

Kaito only finds out when he's coming back from a heist where he noticed that shinichi wasn't there. So he kinda doesn't care to change put of his KID uniform and just barges into the house through the window, and there it is, Shinichi sitting on the bed with a heating bad on his lap and painkillers in hand.

It's hard for shinichi to explain it, so haibara is there instead, and kaito doesn't get it at first and doesn't know what to do, shinichi is fine with that, ye never intended to have kaito deal with it, but then is later surprised when the pain comes back again and suddenly kaito is the most professional care taker put there, (he totally didn't spent the next hours after finding out about it just doing research and going around as an intern or student in hospitals to see how professionals deal with it).

Shinichi doesn't think he's ever fallen for a man harder, he's squealing and kicking his feet at the next moment he can.

Another one I really like to write is the him not realizing hes not conan anymore, and so is his body (and we actually wintesses that in an ep and i found that really funny).

I feel like from changing between the body of a 7yr old to an adult so many times, it's just cause an alternation in everything in his body. I think he'd forget that he should eat in amount that an adult should, and ends up with a kids serving , or even when he's eating out with anymore, like kaito or heiji, one of them just goes "You're not Conan anymore yknow?" And then he just mentally slaps himself and orders something else.

Other than that there's the childishness, shinichi, as shinichi, not Conan, saying alele KILLED me, and he might definitely keep going with that or other terms he's used to. I feel like whoever someone's amazed at how quick he works , he'll just send them that childish grin all happy and stuff. The person who'd catch onto it most is Takagi, he's all like. "Conan used to do this too... hmmm.. what if- no- but- no"

In kaishins pov, I think shinichi would mostly act normal, he's used to being himself around kaito, so it's easy to adjust to him being back again, but maybe he'd make the voice or say something when hanging around with someone who knew him purely as Conan. And kaito would tease him about it for the rest of that night.

The part where his body has alternated is in like. His immunity, which would make him sick a lot more, or blood issues. That guy would 101% get anaemia from that kids serving he eats throughout the day (he definitely forgets to eat) , so you just find the guy all pale and zoning our more often and always tired. It gets to a point where he passes out when out of a trip with kaito, and kaito being himself, DRAGS shinichi to a near by medical center or doctor them finds out shinichis iron or haemoglobin level is like, 4 when the normal is 12, and kaito is struck harder when he finds out it takes A LONG time to get it back up to normal again.

Not to mention he always has some cold or fever, hes basically making kaito his personal 24/7 illness caretaker, and at first it's sweet, kaito being careful and stuff ti starting to think shinichis faking it (he's going through his denial era, don't mind him) and he's all huffy and just forces shinichi to stay in bed all day, then realizes it's real and goes all sweet again.

Shinichis reaction to all this? Tired, he just wants to go on cases and heists but he's always watched by kaitos doves to do that.

Umm that's all for today, thanks for coming to my kaishin rant

[the-crooked-library]

You made such excellent points- in OG book vampirism is imposed on Mina by outside force and Mina actually can be cured from it if they kill Dracula. But if not Jonathan is ready to become vampire himself. Ellen meanwhile was born like that - with her psychic paranormal abilities. Orlok didn’t make her like that, that’s her forever part. But Thomas essentially wants her to be normal, while she never was in the traditional sense and can’t be normal and in his hunt for Orlok seems to believe that killing him would not only save but cure-fix Ellen too. It won’t. I mean Thomas is the one, who proceeds to have sex with Ellen when she’s not even feeling perfectly coherent, not entirely self, because he wants to show his masculinity or idk. Imagine if after Dracula’s attack on Mina and Mina telling about it Jonathan would immediately proceed to have aggressive sex with her instead of just comforting her, because he needs to reestablish his husband’s rights or something? Like that’s not. But that’s the part of why book Jonathan and 2024 remake Thomas are different characters.

Thank you - I'm glad you've enjoyed them, and they do actually connect to the scene you're mentioning here!

There is a lot to say about this particular sequence, mainly because it forces two characters to deal with each other and face the reality of their marriage, while both are emotionally stripped to the bone and unstable. The result is an incredibly revealing scene. It digs into the Hutters' insecurities, fears, hurts - and even though they largely fail to communicate within their fictional framework, the viewer gets a veritable feast of information regarding them both.

Throughout this scene, Ellen is evidently in a psychic trance; as demonstrated by Von Franz and his needle, during these "fits" she is at least partially astral projecting; her soul is not entirely housed in her body and she often appears to be sleepwalking (which might be a reference both to the original 1922 Nosferatu and Eggers' earlier project The Witch). In this state, she is also not in control of the baser, more physical, less rational passions and desires; she is unbound, stripped of her usual repression - and what lies beneath is a lifetime of neglect, loneliness, and disrespect, as well as all the pain and rage she consequently feels. This is not a surprise for the viewer, who has already witnessed her suffering, her lack of autonomy, and her argument with Harding; but it is absolutely a surprise for Thomas.

Thomas cannot fathom why Ellen would be angry with him; in his mind, he has done everything right - provided for her, prioritized their financial advancement, came back to try and save her from the monster he knows is after her. However, what he fails to understand that he has also cut their honeymoon short, that he left her right after that to travel to another country, that she never cared about wealth beyond being able to afford a somewhat stable existence; what Ellen wants, above all else, is to be known, understood, and respected - and Thomas has failed to give her that. He discourages her from talking about her dreams, he does not understand her priorities in life, and he cannot help but patronize her, even when he is attempting to express his affections. Her visceral anger is a shock to him, it catches him entirely off-guard, and then she drops a final bomb - "you could never please me the way he does."

What Ellen means here is that Orlok, a monster, is the only one who has ever understood her - because she is herself a monster. What she is trying to do is bait Thomas into exposing what she believes he truly thinks of her, now that he has seen what she becomes, liberated by the nightfall.* This is obviously a toxic thing to do, but Ellen is not a healthy or balanced individual, and this is a gothic story, so yes, she baits him (rather blatantly, in my opinion; but I've seen people confused about it, so who knows. Admittedly, I have a rather specific sort of practical background, as far as relationships go). Point is, what she expects from him is a rejection; and what she craves, desperately, is his acceptance.

What Thomas hears, however, is that another man has infringed upon what is legally his - and that his masculinity is in question, rather than Ellen's humanity; which lands a critical hit against his already damaged, patriarchal, 19th-century-misogynistic ego.

To fully understand his reaction, we must really dig into his overall narrative context. From the very beginning of the film, and throughout the story, Thomas Hutter's struggles revolve around his continuous emasculation. He is a low-level part-time employee at a real estate firm that is run exclusively by older, well-established men. He is played for a fool by foreigners who steal his horse (they were just trying to save his life, seriously, they didn't think he'd hike the fucking Carpathians on foot in the winter, but that's not how he perceives that situation). He is trapped in Orlok's castle - and, given the sexual allegories of vampirism, arguably assaulted. I'm not going to go into the full background of queerphobic stereotypes and opinions; still, suffice to say that not only would that experience have been traumatic (understandably so), but also that the act of submitting to penetration (here, biting) by another man has been historically seen as inherently emasculating and degrading. In the context of Nosferatu (or Dracula, or Interview with the Vampire, and others), this scenario is, on a largely Doylist level, a bodice-ripper fantasy; however, that doesn't make it any easier for Thomas to accept. To submit to another (even a richer, older, infinitely more powerful) man is a problem - but to enjoy that position is unforgivable.

All that to say - by the time Thomas returns to Wisborg, his sense of self-worth is in shambles. The narrative has assigned him the role of a Damsel in Distress, which he fits perfectly and obviously resents. Thus, when he hears yet another insult from his wife - who may be higher-born, but still his wife, and thus below him - he reacts accordingly, with fury.

Again, in anticipation of discourse wank - this is not a good thing; his reasons are clear, I understand them, I do not excuse him. What Thomas does at this point is attempt to aggressively reassert his claim and right to Ellen as her husband. He's rough, but uninventive; he also doesn't worship her the way Orlok did; and, ultimately, even as he tries to demonstrate his continued interest and desire for her, he ends up proving her anxieties. When faced with a hallucination - a fraction of her psychic gift - he flings her away. Crucially, he cannot "show" Orlok their love.

After that, he does try to reassure her, be gentle with her, declare his love - but, really, he might as well mark that off as another failure. She has seen how terrified he looked, and she will not believe a word he says.

The whole scene is a distillation of their dynamic. It's one disconnect after another, strung together by his inability to listen, her lack of trust, and their shared resentment. Thomas and Ellen's relationship is hindered at every turn by the misogyny, queerphobia, and repression that are built into the cage that is their society. The film is an exploration of that cage. Its bars are the driving force behind the plot.

* NIGHTFALL - the diurnal, or gas-lit (it's on the nose. it's SO on the nose) scenes are a visual shorthand for the "normal" accepted society. It is Rational (hence the scientific "gaseous" light), it is godly (sunlight), it is the domain of the Hardings and Sievers of the story. The moonlight and firelight provide a similar distinction to the scenes that delve into the Emotional and the demonic, removing the subjects from the usual societal restrictions; those light sources are generally considered to be magical, primal, raw. It's fascinating, seriously - if you ever watch this film again, try to pay attention to the lighting!

[just-a-ghost00]

Their current feelings for you

Group 1 - Jeanne

45. Spiral of abundance , 23. Inner Jewel, 31. Inner Equinox, Loyal dog, Newborn Butterfly, Smart Walrus, Forest song "My kindness is a gift I bestow upon the world."

This person really feels the most at peace and safe when they are with you. You bring out their inner child and generate a lot of happiness in their life. They really value and treasure your presence but they are also aware that their happiness shouldn't solely depend on you. This person is choosing to trust you despite their fears and share with you their most vulnerable sides, their kindness and generosity, not only out of loyalty but also because they believe that it would be beneficial on the long term. Their feelings for you are pure, they are only filled with good intentions because this person knows what it's like not to receive love and feel like people cannot accept you for who you are. Even though you may trigger this person sometimes through your words or actions, they would rather try to deal with it on their own without you knowing or trying to talk it out in a healthy manner rather than lashing out on you. This person wants to protect you and nurture you, to guide you but they also feel a bit guarded because they are not used to the dynamic of your connection. This person may struggle with receiving compliments or random acts of kindness. They may be used to having to work hard for attention or to receive help from others. They may be used to people unfairly treating them. However, you do quite the opposite. Through your interactions their wounded inner child is allowed to heal and show its true self without fear. Which can both be pretty exciting and scary at the same time. You may sometimes feel like this person isn't truly reciprocating your feelings or not being sincere. The truth is they need a lot of time to open up about their feelings and show people their love. If you are able to provide them the time and space to do so, by encouraging this person and paying attention to what makes them uncomfortable, respecting their boundaries, which I feel you already do to some extent, this person will slowly but surely let you know how much you mean to them. Honestly this energy is very sweet and peaceful, it was such a lovely reading to do. I feel called to mention that one of the reasons why this person loves you so much is because of your "disinterested" actions. Let me explain with a few examples. Maybe in the past, this person only received compliments from people when they wanted something out of them. So these compliments weren't genuine. However, you compliment them because you want to and feel like it. That kind of things. I feel like this really changed this person's views of connections.

Group 2 - Luca

"When I lead from a place of love, people respect me." 34. Creativity storm, 46. Energyfall 36. Fire of transformation, Loyal Llama, Guardian Bear, Tranquil Sloth, Silent Watcher

You intimidate this person a little but more than anything they feel inspired by you and energized in your presence. You give them a lot of strength and courage to deal with their daily life and challenges. You motivate them to be a better person. They may observe you from afar to learn from you but also out of shyness because they find you very attractive and they can't help their reactions when they're around you, if you get my drift. This energy is quite similar to group 1 in the sense that they also seem to be feeling at peace when you're around, as if all their problems melted away. They find a new sense of confidence because of your support, your guidance, your kindness. This may be something they actively voice out. I feel like this person has already mentioned in front of you that they felt driven to do their best because of your trust and faith in them. They consider you a vital part of their support system. But they also are very fond of you and I feel like they view you as more than a friend, though they may not express it. They get protective over you quite easily which is something they may hide behind nonchalence. Like, they may give you a whole meal to ensure you've eaten enough because they know you're feeling unwell and reply with "I bought this by mistake and I thought maybe you'd like it" or something like that. They find excuses to do things for you while trying to do them undercover. But they may not be very subtle about it sometimes. But maybe because this is something you're not used to, you may think that you're imagining things. Well, this is your confirmation that you're not crazy. I feel like for most of you this connection is quite recent. So you may be in the early stages of a relationship or just secretly crushing on one another because you both are shy koalas.

Group 3 - Chloe

"My happiness is a direct reflection of how quickly I can shift my perceptions from fear to love." 17. Spark of gratitude, 12. Emotional storm, 15. Dance of the elements, Wise Owl - Wisdom Perception Discipline , Newborn Butterfly - Renewal Transformation Adaptability, Cute Penguin - Whismy Community Loyalty, Bird

This person chooses to see you under your best light, regardless of your shadows and past "mistakes", regardless of their own fears and shadows. More than anything, they feel incredibly happy and grateful for your presence in their life. You take them off guard and make them feel giddy, like a teen that would love for the first time. They can't help but to love you for who you are and want to be close to you. They feel so warm and fuzzy whenever you're around. Their thoughts of you are pretty positive and innocent. They just admire you and are in awe with your personality and looks. They wish to see through you and know what you think of them. This connection is fairly new to them. They've never felt this way before. They are not used to such happiness and soft feelings. I feel like this person has been through a lot in their life and they're not used to surrendering control or letting themselves be vulnerable in front of others. But with you, they feel like a child again and everything feels like an adventure. They can appreciate life again because of you and that is something that is incredibly precious to them. Ever since they met you, they start to see life from a brighter perspective and become more of a "the glass is half full" type of person. They can truly have fun and relaxed because they feel more confident in your presence. You make them feel safe, heard and seen. They don't have to try as hard when you're around because you accept them for who they are. I really like this spread because it's just so pure and soothing. It's like in their eyes there isn't a single thing about you that is wrong or that should be changed. They love you unconditionally.

[goddessofmusicandfandoms]

Probably not for me to add on but two comments because this thread is interesting. It seems in Rr world immortality and God hood are not the same thing. My reasoning is the hunters, they become immortal and seemingly maintain any powers they already have but otherwise they're still very human. Treated as no different than very trained demigods. Therefore it stands to reason that making someone immortal is different/ operates on different rules than making someone a God, minor or otherwise.

Second point for thought I took a few classic courses in college (would have minored but one of the requirements was learning greek doesn't exactly mix well with a hearing disabilities) In that class I was taught that Mr D (basically dyslexic not spelling his name) was a God because of the removal as his human mother in his birthing process. To make a myth short. His mother was dusted by Zeus godly form. In other to save his son Zeus sowed him into his "thigh." I put air marks because this is the most popular version of the myth in modern time. Reading the original translation in clase apperently it was another word (I forget it's been years) where the translation alluded to him actually being sewed in the sky (I think a cloud to be exact) in not in Zeus thigh. So this could possibly tie into the whole gods giving some of their power (if we go with the first version) or something with domains, like Mr. D already intrinsically tied with the world/culture because he was birth from a domain . Either way Mr. D is an kind of represents all three elements of a god, cultural importance, having a domain, and believe in himself (yall should read his plays/ myths this guy was soooo overly confident, just a Lil cocky mf)

It seems what the empiros lack is a natural domain. Which might be why they can be immortal but without some God giving them power or some godly item that grants them God like power their never be God by themselves. Meanwhile since Apollo already has a domain he can grant himself immortality. Meanwhile MrD was basically always one step away from being a God. (if you know anything about Christianity and the iteration of Jesus always being God/ a part of God, that's Mr. D but like with Zeus in a way according to me but back by my professor who said that was a good analogy on my essay 😅)

Zeus actually has a lot of say over a lot of Olympians not just because of being the king but with most of them being derived from him in some way (for instance some people argue that because Athena is born of Zeus she despite being wisdom can't be wiser than Zeus or think too differently than him at least) and the other domains are tied to his (sun and moon need the sky, seas and ties need moon/sky, there's no harvest without the the sun, rain, etc which need the sky) the only equal to sky is the earth but... Insert rant about the dethroning of women in Greek mythology with turn the world from a matriarchy to a patriarchy or whatever which effectively "depowers" the earth so to say. It's why the earth even needs the other gods or humans according to the class. This only really leaves the underworld which doesn't need the sky to exist. For the Percy Jackson lore this could tie into part of the reason Zeus is like screw his brother. So Zeus could possibly be concern bc by this thread theory there's a lot of people who could possibly weaken him or at least he thinks so. This could also tie into why he can take the other gods powers. If one of the tier is belief in self it's hard to imagine yourself stronger or separate from Zeus if you're a Greek god because his domain is tied to the existence of your domain, not to mention all of culture (imagine if the sky just dipped) therefore they unknowingly give Zeus the power to take their Godlyness away without meaning to (this is why Apollo journey in toa is such a big deal)

I would also like to point out the elephant in the room, the og Percy Jackson series operates differently it's concept of Gods, Olympians, immortal, and all that stuff. Later series seem to use immortality and that basically being God hood interchangeably. Though it's fun to find a way it could all work.

If any one actually reads this, I apologize for how all over the place this tangent is I'm half asleep

what are your thoughts on the olympians’ thrones? we know that they are connected to the power of the gods, and that kronos’ tactic was to destroy olympus/their thrones in order to weaken them (so when kronos destroyed the arm rest of ares’ throne, did that weaken him during the battle with typhon?)

but why should the destruction of their thrones weaken them? isn’t the source of their power, their divinity, well, themselves? and what of minor gods? or what about during the first titanomachy? sorry for the lengthy question but it’s all very confusing and im interested in hearing your take.

SO

THE OLYMPIAN THRONES

first let's see what Dionysus had to say about this in The Last Olympian

"Whichever! Now listen, the situation is graver than you imagine. If Olympus falls, not only will the gods fade, but everything that is connected to our legacy will also begin to unravel. The very fabric of your puny little civilization—"

"Yes, yes. Your entire society will dissolve. Perhaps not right away, but mark my words, the chaos of the Titans will mean the end of Western civilization. Art, law, wine tastings, music, video games, silk shirts, black velvet paintings—all the things that make life worth living will disappear!"

"—the other gods would never admit this, but we actually need you mortals to rescue Olympus. You see, we are manifestations of your culture. If you don't care enough to save Olympus yourselves—"

Let's look at the third part first! Dionysus tells us that the gods are manifestations of human culture. And as we know, in the RRverse, the gods have moved around with the flame of progression, where the most human power is allocated. This is why they are in the US in the RRverse, and why they tend to reflect a more American culture (ie, Zeus in a CEO suit, Poseidon as a fisherman, Ares is a biker, ect.)

So what I'm getting from Dionysus's explanation here, is that the gods and human culture are intrinsically intertwined with each other. You can't have one without the other and all that. If human culture fades, the gods weaken, and if the gods weaken, human culture fades.

Something interesting to note here is that Dionysus says that the gods will fade if their thrones are destroyed...interesting, considering Dionysus and Percy also discuss how Pan faded.

But Pan didn't fade because of a lack of human belief/culture - he faded because his domain was being destroyed. Helios and Selene faded because they lost faith in themselves.

I think Dionysus might be overexaggerating a bit here. I don't think the gods would have necessarily faded if their thrones were destroyed- just significantly weakened. And perhaps, weak enough that if they ever just decided to give up...they would fade.

(Which brings up an interesting notion of Dionysus fearing them fading, because maybe that implies he thinks not all of them have the willpower to push through that...food for thought)

Kronos destroying Ares's arm rest is curious, since after the defeat of Typhon, we see the Olympian gods and nothing is out of the ordinary, even with Ares. So I'm guessing the arm rest getting cut off didn't exactly affect Ares, but if a larger piece of the throne or even the throne itself was sliced up? We'd have a different story.

I believe the source of the gods' power comes from a variety of places- mortal belief, their thrones, and belief in themselves. We see the latter occurring with Apollo in The Tower of Nero especially, where he's able to bring himself back into immortality on his own willpower, and I think we even see this happening with Hades and Poseidon, leaving their respected realms to come to the aid of Olympus and leaving behind their grudge (Hades) and ego (Poseidon) for the greater good.

This brings up an interesting idea, then. The Olympians have three main sources of power. But are they even aware of the third?

Because think about it. People, in series and out, have automatically assumed Helios and Selene faded because of a lack of mortal belief. But, that is not what happened, for they were still majorly worshipped- instead, it was a lack of faith in themselves. They lost their sense of self.

So I think the "power ranking" of these sources go as follows;

Belief in self

Mortal belief

Thrones

Mortal belief is often talked about, especially in ToA where Nero tells us mortals gave him a prolonged life and eventually immortality. He does not have a throne like the Olympians, though he does have a fasces, where his immortality is stored.

Could it be that the Olympian's immortality is stored in their thrones? Maybe. But remember, Nero is a wannabe god. There has to be drawbacks to that, and I bet the fasces was one of them. He has to contain his immortality in something, while the Olympians do not, because they are immortal. Full stop.

Now minor gods...this is a bit trickier, but I think minor gods have a power scaling of their own. The Olympians are on another level for godly power- they are The Squad so to speak.

How powerful minor gods are I think depends on their domain, as well as mortal belief/their own belief.

Hecate, for example, is probably exceptionally powerful for a minor goddess because of her position as the goddess of magic, the Mist, and crossroads among other things (did you know she has some influence over prophecy? ;3 she and Apollo were two sides of the same coin when it came to prophecy).

Iris is probably not as powerful as Hecate is, because, uh, rainbows aren't exactly powerful when it comes to magic XD

As for the Elder Olympians' power during the Titanomachy...that's also interesting to think about. Imo, I think their power grew over the time of the war, since they didn't really have the opportunity to fine-tune anything what with being in Kronos's stomach and all lol

Zeus probably got more practice in when he was young, but probably not as much when he became cupbearer. And I also think the symbols of power of the Big Three help channel their power- which now has a funny image because here are the guys learning how to focus their power with training wheels while the girls are just fucking around and finding out.

Demeter probably strangled a few people with her plants. Hera probably unleased a hoard of peacocks on someone. Hestia no doubt set a few things on fire.

lmao, that's funny to think about.

Anyway, finally got around to this one!!! :D

[formula-nyoom]

Stars Racing Past-7

Summary: With the revelation that the slave trader from (Y/N)'s past is on Naboo, (Y/N) and Max must form a plan to put a stop to his dealings. But with emotions running high, is there a chance that (Y/N) may go too far in wanting to see this man be brought to justice?

Warnings: Child abuse, slavery, child imprisonment, minor character death, loose interpretation of The Force and how it works

A/N: I'm back bitches, if anyone still cares about this series. This chapter is dedicated to @elegantweird-orchest who's comments on the last chapter made me want to continue with this series. Turns out this chapter was almost finish when I stopped working on it. But hey, comments and feedback are what keep me going so I was able to finish it. No idea when the next chapter will be out. Hope you enjoy!

Series Masterlist

~~~

“Can’t we just go and arrest him?”

 “There needs to be sufficient evidence that this man is a slave trader. I don’t doubt (Y/N)’s recognition of this man, but we are on Naboo and the government isn’t just going to accept a recounting of when she was a child.”

It had been an hour after the market. Max and Kelly were quick to get (Y/N) out of thre and back to Kelly’s house. Now, after Penelope had been put down for a nap, Max and Kelly were arguing on how to approach the situation in regards to the slave trader from (Y/N)’s past. 

 “As Jedi, me and (Y/N) have authority to arrest him.” Max said. He was ready to apprehend the man on the spot.

 “You’re not listening to me Max! Just because you’re a Jedi doesn’t mean you can enforce your authority everywhere without reason.” Kelly said.

 “Senator Piquet is right.”

(Y/N) hadn’t said anything since they left the market, until now. Max and Kelly both looked at her, a bit of shock on Max’s face.

“He could still be in the business of slave trading force sensitive kids. If we go and arrest him now, we won't be able to help those he’s trading. I want to see him brought to justice but we have to be smart about this.”(Y/N) explained.

 “(Y/N)’s right. We can’t be impulsive.” Kelly said, looking at Max.

“I’m just worried about taking too long to confront this man. We don’t know if he’s living here on Naboo or just visiting for possible business. If we wait too long, he could be gone by the time we act.”

 “I don’t disagree with you on that, Max. But we need a plan.” Kelly said. “(Y/N), you know him best, do you have any ideas?”

 The two looked back at (Y/N) as she looked down at the floor. Max could tell that she wasn’t very present to the conversation and turned back to Kelly.

“Can you give us a moment alone?” Max asked her. Kelly glanced at (Y/N) for a brief moment before looking back at Max. She nodded her head and left to go check on Penelope. 

Once Kelly was out of the room, Max walked over to (Y/N).

“Are you ok?” He asked. (Y/N) hesitated in answering before shaking her head.

“No.”

 “I know that this is a lot for you and just seeing the man affected you in a major way. But to be able to stop him, or bring him in, or just bring justice to all the harm he caused you and others in the past…(Y/N) we’re going to need information about him.” Max told her.

 “It’s…it’s just hard. Seeing him again. I thought I would never come across him again…and to see him here, on Naboo…”(Y/N)’s sentence trailed off. Max could see the pain on the girl’s face and wanted to stop the conversation there. But there are things he needed to know.

“How did you end up with him?” He asked. 

 “I don’t know.” was (Y/N)’s immediate response

“What do you mean?” Max asked. (Y/N) looked up at him.

“When you're a slave, you learn to block out most things that are unpleasant or terrible during that time.” (Y/N) said. “But I guess dreams have a way of tearing down the progress I had made, since I keep dreaming about him.”

(Y/N) sighed.

 “So you have no memory of things that happened before that man?”

“The earliest memory I have is when I’m three. I’m sitting in a cage and his face is staring back at me with a cruel smile.” (Y/N) said. She ran a hand through her hair, something Max knew she did when she was frustrated.

“I don’t know where I was born. I don’t know who my parents are. I don’t know if that man took me from them or if they gave me up willingly. I remember bits and pieces of the time before I was sold on Tatooine…but I don’t remember everything of my time with that man.”(Y/N) said. She sat down on one of the couches and looked down at her hands. Max could see the conflicted look on her face. He never asks (Y/N) questions about her past, especially considering the circumstance she was in before Seb and Kimi found her. Max always felt that if (Y/N) wanted to tell him things about her past, she would do so in her own time. 

But not being able to remember one’s past is another thing. 

“Would you…want to try and remember?” (Y/N) looked up at Max confused.

 “What?” Max sat down next to (Y/N) and fully faced her.

“During meditation, Jedi are able to recall things with better clarity. By using The Force, you may be able to remember something you’ve forgotten.” Max said. “And if we do it together, you may be able to show me.”

(Y/N) looked back down at her hands, thinking it over.

“I’m only suggesting this, so that we can be better prepared in facing this man.” Max said. “But if you don’t want to , we can find another way to-”

“Ok.” (Y/N) said, cutting Max off.

 “Are you sure?” He asked her. (Y/N) nodded.

“You’re right. We need to be smart about this.” She told him, but a hint of concern still showed on her face. “We can give it a shot. But Max, some things are best left forgotten.”

“I know. This may not work, but if it does, just know that you can stop it at any time.” Max told her. “You don’t have to show me anything you don’t want me to see.” 

They moved down to the floor and sat crossed legged, opposite each other. (Y/N) took a deep breath before closing her eyes and focusing on The Force. Max looked at her for a second, seeing the calm wash over her face as she entered mediation, before he closed his eyes and started meditating as well. 

Max felt (Y/N)’s presence in The Force and centered his focus on it. He could feel a bit of hesitation from his padawan, but eventually felt that his presence was welcomed as (Y/N) focused on trying to remember. 

(Y/N) didn’t like thinking about the memories she had before Seb and Kimi found her. Those were times when (Y/N) was weak and hopeless, times that reminded (Y/N) of how cruel the galaxy could be. (Y/N) almost felt scared at the thought of delving into her past, her brain blocked out things for a reason. But if she was going to confront this man, she needed a reminder of what she was dealing with.

(Y/N) took a deep breath and focused on trying to remember her life before she became a Jedi, before Tatoonie. 

Something around them seemed to shift.

Max opens his eyes and sees not the (Y/N) he knows now, but a 4 year old version of his padawan standing in front of him. She looks at him confused.

“Max…” 

Her voice is so small

Suddenly the 4 year old version of (Y/N) is thrown against a wall and the surroundings come into clear view. They are standing in a dimly lit room with stone walls and various cages strewn about. If Max were to squint he would be able to vaguely make out a figure or two in the cages. But his eyes are focused on his padawan as she lies curled up on the floor. Standing in front of her is the same man Max saw at the market.

“Pathetic. All that work I did to obtain you and you can’t make a lousy box move!” The man yelled. (Y/N) lets out a sob and the man kneels down in front of her. He grabs her by the neck and slams her against the wall.

 “I’m supposed to make good money off of you. And I can’t do that if your fancy powers are useless to potential buyers.”

“I can do it! Please! Just let me try again!” (Y/N) sobs. She grabs at the hand holding her neck but doesn’t fight to try and pry it away.

Anger boils in Max’s chest seeing how (Y/N) was being treated. He tries to run towards the man, grab his shoulders and throw him to the ground. But Max can’t move. It’s a memory after all. He is just a witness to a memory that isn’t his own. 

The man drops (Y/N). Her sob and the sound she makes when she hits the floor echoes in Max’s ears.

 “Do it again. Make it move!”

Max’s surroundings shift again as he stands in a sandstone building. The air around him feels hot and Max notices there are no windows in this building. 

Max watches as the man leads a couple to one of the nearby cages.

“She’s the best one I have.” He says. Max looks closer and sees a now six year old (Y/N) sitting in the cage, hugging her knees. Bruises littered her arms and she didn’t look up to meet the faces of those that stood in front of her cage.

 “Can we see a demonstration?”

“To prevent any of them from turning loose on me, I have to keep them in these cages that are equipped with force dampeners. You know how powerful “these kind” can be.” The man said, speaking as if the girl caged in front of her wasn’t human. The couple with the man looked at (Y/N) like she wasn’t human. Like she was an appealing product they may be interested in buying.

“How much?”

Before Max can hear the answer, his surroundings shift again.

The only thing that Max can focus on is the man landing a swift kick to five-year old (Y/N)’s stomach. She sobs and the man kicks again.

“That little escape attempt of yours is going to cost you!”

Again Max tries to move his legs, but he is still frozen in place. The man kicks again, harder this time and Max see’s blood fly out of (Y/N)’s mouth. 

“It’s not real (Y/N)! It’s just a memory!” Max yells. “You can make it stop!”

Yelling seemed to be the only thing that he could try and do to get through to his padawan, as he tried to move his legs again. (Y/N) didn’t seem to hear Max as she let out another sob.

 “You should be grateful! Without me, you’d be living on the streets! Hungry and helpless!” The man said. 

What the man said, seemed to spark something in (Y/N), probably with how untrue his words were. 

Before the man could let out another kick, (Y/N) let out a yell and the man flew backwards, pushed away by an unseen force. Max felt like he could finally move and bolted towards (Y/N). He kneeled in front of his padawan and took her face in his hands.

 “(Y/N), it’s Max! We don’t need to see anymore! We can stop!” Max said. Tears streamed down (Y/N)’s face but she blinked them away as her and Max made eye contact. Suddenly (Y/N) is no longer 5 years old, but back to her present day self. She pulls Max close and holds him tight like something is about to tear her away from him at any moment.

The barren walls and horrid cages faded away and soon their surroundings changed to the living room of Kelly’s house and the only sound Max can hear is the sobs of his padawan. (Y/N) clung to Max as she sobbed into his shoulder. He rubbed her back and gently cooed to try and calm her down.

“It’s over, (Y/N). It’s ok. You’re safe.” He quietly said. As much as what Max had seen was helpful, he now wished that (Y/N) had never agreed to go through with it.

“I’m sorry for even suggesting the idea. I shouldn’t have made you go through and relive stuff like that.” Max told her. 

~~~

Max goes back to the market later the next day, intent on finding The Slavetrader. A seed of rage had planted itself in Max’s stomach after what he had witnessed that man do to (Y/N) in the past. Max has half the mind to hunt this man down but he, Kelly and (Y/N) had agreed to a plan. That’s how Max found himself dressed in clothes that Kelly’s ex-husband had left behind. He also doesn’t have his lightsaber, since the clothes he’s wearing doesn’t allow for him to properly hide it. Max hated that he was without his saber, but he needed to look like a foreigner, not a Jedi. 

He was able to find The Slavetrader and followed him all the way to a cantina. Max waited a bit after The Slavetrader walked in before going in himself. It wasn’t a crowded cantina, with it being midday and too early for people to start drinking. Which was perfect for Max and what he was about to do. 

Instead of walking over to the booth that The Slavetrader sat in, Max walked over to the bar and ordered a drink. 

 “You from out of town?” The barkeep asked him.

“Yea. I’m a moisture farmer from Tatoonie.”

 “We don’t get many people from that desert planet here on Naboo. What brings you here?” The barkeep asked.

 “Well, business has been piling up on the farm and it’s becoming too much for just me to handle. I’ve been trying to hire someone to help me out on the farm but had no luck on finding someone on Tatooine, so I decided to look elsewhere.” Max said to the barkeep. Max couldn’t turn around, but he could guess that the man sitting in the booth was listening in on what Max was saying.

 “Don’t know why you would come to Naboo looking for help. You would have better luck back in the Outer Rim.” The barkeep said to Max before moving away to help another patron. Max took another sip of his drink. He had planted the bait, now all he had to do was wait.  

Max heard the sound of footsteps approach him and soon The Slavetrader took a seat next to Max.

“You said you were looking for help on your farm?” The Slavetrader asked as he took a sip of his own drink. It takes everything in Max to not punch the man as soon as he turns to face him.

‘Calm down Max. You need him alive right now to get information.’

The seed of rage burns inside Max but he has to steel himself.

 “Yea. Are you offering to help or know where I can find some?” The Slavetrader smiled. 

“I’m a provider of “special help” for those that need an extra set of hands.” He said.

 “What kind of help?” Max asked, trying to act oblivious. The Slavetrader leaned in closer to Max.

“You know those space wizards who tote about the galaxy, claiming to be bringers of peace?” The man asked, his voice a whisper. Max had to suppress an eye roll and gave the man a nod.

 “I’ve got a couple of kids who’ve got the same ability as those space wizards. They’re really handy when it comes to manual labor, like the work you do on your farm.”

‘What I wouldn’t give to bash your skull in.’ Max thought to himself. He cleared his throat and tried to choose his next words carefully.

 “And what if I was interested in the “extra help” you were offering?” Max asked The Slave Trader. The Slave Trader grabbed a nearby napkin and took out a pen from his pocket. He scribbled something down on the napkin before handing it to Max.

“Meet me at this location after dark if you want to pursue my "wares". The Slave Trader said, before finishing the rest of his drink and walking out of the bar. Max watched him leave, a glare imminent on his face, before looking back at the napkin. 

He now had all the information he needed. And that seed of rage sprouted a bit more.

~~~

After Max had told her that The Slave Trader was still dealing with force sensitive kids, (Y/N) almost wanted to vomit. But at the same time she wasn’t surprised. No one had probably tried to put a stop to this man. But that was all going to change tonight.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Max asked (Y/N) as they waited for some of Senator Piquet’s guards to arrive to act as her protection while Max and (Y/N) were away. (Y/N) gave Max a pointed look.

 “There’s a bunch of force sensitive children being sold as slaves by the same man that sold me. Of course I want to do this Max.” She said.

 “I mean, are you sure you’re ready to face him?” Max asked. 

(Y/N)’s face softened a bit as she hesitated to answer. She sighed.

 “I don’t think I’ll really know until I’m standing right in front of him.” She looked down at the lightsaber in her hand. Max placed his hands on (Y/N)’s shoulders and made her look at him. 

“(Y/N)...you are not a slave anymore. You are a jedi. A brave, strong Jedi. You have the power to face him again.” Max told her. “He can’t hurt you anymore.” 

‘I won’t let him’

(Y/N) looked down at her saber again. One thing she knew was that she was going to put an end to The Slave Trader’s operation. Some would say that (Y/N) was going to take revenge. But revenge is not the way of the Jedi. She was going to bring justice. For herself and for all the other kids that man had hurt. 

With confirmation that there was a child slave trader on Naboo, Kelly was able to get some Nabooian guards to accompany Max and (Y/N) in arresting The Slave Trader. The location given to Max was a closed down packing building in the lesser populated city area of Naboo. (Y/N) wasn’t surprised. He always chose a location away from any presence of authority.

The plan was simple: Max and (Y/N) would go through the front, three guards would enter from the back to try and cover the back exit, while the other two guards would wait at the entrance in case anyone tried to escape from the front. (Y/N) did advise that The Slave Trader may have a couple people working for him, so a fight was imminent.

“Are you ready?” Max asked (Y/N) as they paused in front of the main door. (Y/N) took a deep breath, unclipping her saber and squaring her shoulders.

 “I’m ready.” She said. Wordlessly, she used The Force to open the door and her and Max stepped inside.

A couple men looked up at the two as they entered the room. Hirelings no doubt. There was a brief second of confusion before recognition set in and the men frantically grabbed their blasters and started aiming at the Jedi and his padawan. Max and (Y/N) activated their lightsabers and made quick work of the hirelings, deflecting their fire and sending them into various walls. Though the scuffle was anything but quiet.

“What the hell is going on in here?” The Slave Trader entered the room from an adjoining hallway. He looked at the scene before him, at all the unconscious hirelings before his eyes landed on (Y/N)

The two made eye contact and (Y/N)’s blood ran cold. For a second, she felt like the scared five-year old that this man had once owned. But the heavy weight of her saber and Max’s presence as he moved closer to her reminded (Y/N) that she was not five years old and a slave. She was sixteen and a Jedi. This man was not going to cause her fear any longer.

Recognition dawned on The Slave Trader’s face as he looked at Max and Max couldn’t help but smile at the fear that briefly flashed on the man’s face. 

Before he turned and ran down the hallway he had just come from. 

(Y/N) instinctively bolted after The Slave Trader, with Max right on her heels. The Slave Trader sporadically threw down shelves and boxes as he ran past to try and create obstacles in hopes of slowing his pursuers, but it didn’t do much to stop the two. (Y/N) vaulted over them easily and Max sent them flying back into their upright position. They ran past various other rooms as they chased the man, but they barely caught a glimpse of what was inside, both (Y/N) and Max’s attention were honed in on The Slave Trader.

 ‘You’re not getting away that easily-’

As (Y/N) was running down the hallway, her eyes caught a glimpse of something as she passed a room that made her stop in her tracks. Max crashed into her, not expecting her to suddenly stop but was able to prevent either of them from falling over.

 “Why’d you stop? He’s getting away!” Max urgently said. But (Y/N)’s attention was now on the room in front of her. She moved into the room’s entryway, hoping that what she saw was wrong about what she saw. But the sight in front of her was as real as day.

When Max had told her that there were “a couple of kids”, (Y/N) expected 4 or 5. There were at least 20 kids in this room, all locked up in cages. Max had followed his padawan’s gaze and now understood why she had halted her chase so abruptly.

 “(Y/N)...we can come back for them later.” Max said, lightly tugging at (Y/N)’s wrist so they could pursue their chase. But (Y/N) pulled her wrist away and moved towards one of the cages. 

Inside was a young boy with curly brown hair. His face was dirty and (Y/N) could see a bruise on his cheek. She kneeled in front of the cage and made eye contact with the boy.

“What's your name?” (Y/N) quietly asked.

 “Kimi.” The boy said.

(Y/N)’s heart practically shattered and something inside her started to boil. Anger. Kimi could be no older than 6. The same age (Y/N) was when she was sold. The kids in other cages looked to be of various ages, some younger, some older. It didn’t matter, (Y/N) knew they didn’t belong here.

“We need to help them Max.” (Y/N) said, standing up. 

 “(Y/N), the more time we spend in here, the more time he could escape. The Nabooian guards can help set them free.” Max said. He sounded frustrated. (Y/N) ignored him.

“Tell the guards to expect a bunch of children coming out of the building.”(Y/N) ignited her lightsaber and slashed at the lock on Kimi’s cage. She then started to do the same with all the other cages. Even though Max knew that they were just giving more time for The Slave Trader to get away, he also knew that to (Y/N) this was more important. He spoke to his communicator, informing the guards about the situation, then started to help (Y/N) to make the process go faster. 

 “Go out that door, take a left, and then go all the way down the hall and out the door. There will be guards that will help you.” (Y/N) said as she opened all doors to the cages. All the kids had started to make their way out the room. Some needed assistance, being helped by the other kids as they left the room.

Eventually Kimi was the only one left, even though he was the first one to be freed.

“You’re free now! Go!” (Y/N) exclaimed, trying to usher the boy out of the room. Kimi suddenly hugged (Y/N), catching the teen off guard.

 “Thank you for helping us.” Kimi whispered. (Y/N) felt tears forming in her eyes but didn’t let them fall as she gently wrapped an arm around Kimi.

“You didn’t deserve to be treated like this. None of you did.” (Y/N) quietly said to Kimi before finally ushering the kid towards the door. It wasn’t until the boy was finally out of the room that (Y/N) wiped the tears away. Max placed a hand on her shoulder.

 “C’mon, let’s finish this.” He said. (Y/N) nodded her head and Max saw something change in (Y/N)’s face that he had never seen in her before. Anger? Rage? Hatred? A mixture of all three seemed to be found on (Y/N)’s face as she gripped her lightsaber tightly. It was almost scary.

“That man’s gonna pay for what he did to these children.” (Y/N) said before running out of the room and resuming the chase.

Despite the extra time he had, The Slave Trader didn’t seem to get far. As soon as (Y/N) burst into what she assumed was the man’s office, she saw him start to climb out a raised window. (Y/N) threw up her hand and sent the man flying backwards, away from the window, before slamming him into a wall. 

The anger (Y/N) felt before had come to the forefront as she finally got a proper look at the man. Despite the noticeable aging since she last saw him, he still looked cruel and cocky. 

(Y/N) looked at him with hatred.

He only looked at her with slight confusion.

 “Do you remember me?” (Y/N) asked.

“If you’ve chased me all the way down as one of those space wizards now, I must have made good money off of you.” He said. His eyes shifted to Max and he let out a scoff.

 “Should have known you weren't an actual farmer.”

The man was slammed into the wall once again by (Y/N) with The Force and that’s when Max felt the energy in the room shift. He could not only sense the overwhelming and almost suffocating presence of The Force that was radiating off of (Y/N), but he could also sense her anger and hatred. And as (Y/N) walked over to The Slave Trader, he seemed to stay pinned to the wall. Max stayed by the doorway, just watching what was to unfold. 

“You caused me so much pain. You stole away my childhood and that of countless other children.”

(Y/N) ignited her lightsaber as she stalked closer. 

  “What makes you think you have the right to keep children in cages and sell them for profit?” (Y/N) asked the man. He didn’t answer. (Y/N) scoffed.

 “It’s a stupid question to ask you. Men like you only care about themselves.” She said. Anger burned with her as she got closer to the man. He couldn’t move, he was helpless. A small part of (Y/N) felt a sense of satisfaction at that. That this man was now the helpless one, not her.

 “You should have known…that one of these days, one of us was bound to come after you and make you pay for what you have done.” (Y/N) said.

She stared into the man’s eyes. There was fear in them.

She held her saber to his neck, a green hue casting over his face. One push and it would all be over. One slice and the man that tormented her life and dreams would be no longer. One easy action and (Y/N) could live her life in peace.

But taking his life away, as he had figuratively done to her when she was a child, would make her just as bad as him. The anger and hatred that was at the forefront of all this had almost blinded her from what she was. 

Jedi don’t kill out of anger and hatred.

(Y/N) gave the man one last shove against the wall before lowering her saber.

 “You’ll rot in a jail cell for the rest of your life. Isolated and alone. It can’t make up for everything that you did to me or other force sensitive kids, but killing you would just give you an easy way out. Now you’ll be the one locked in a cage.” She told him before turning around and heading towards the door.

 “The Nabooian guards can deal with him.” She said to Max, before leaving the room.

Max didn’t follow her. 

“Pathetic…” The slave trader mumbled. Max glared at the man.

 “What did you say?”

“She’s Pathetic!” The Slave trader laughed. “She had the chance to kill me and she didn’t take it!”

Max clenched his fist. That seed, now sapling, was quickly blooming and now Max felt the anger rise and it’s presence spread throughout the room.

“You’re the one who’s pathetic. You don’t know how much pain you’ve caused her. All the abuse you put her through.  You’ve robbed her of sleep, all because you wanted money!” Max said as he clenched one fist around his saber, the other grasping nothing but air. He walked towards the man

The Slave Trader was finding it hard to breathe as an unseen force closed around his throat as Max got closer.

“She showed you a kindness by sparing her life.”

Branches of rage and anger stretched out, across Max’s lungs, wrapping around his ribs and poking at his heart. Anger was the only thing Max felt in this moment.

In one swift motion, Max ignited his lightsaber and drove it through The Slave Trader’s gut.

 “You don’t deserve kindness.”

Max watched the man’s body slump to the ground and he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Justice had finally been delivered. 

But despite the fact that Max felt justified in his actions, the tree that had planted itself in Max’s chest quickly withered and died as Max continued to stare at the body in front of him. With the now present absent of that anger, Max was now faced with the fact that he had just killed a man.

That fact followed Max all the way back to Kelly’s house. It left a pit in his stomach as his mind swirled with conflicted thoughts. 

Anger and hate were two feelings that were constantly told to Jedi to not let it control them and yet that was what Max had let happen. He had let his anger blind him, and even if it was temporary, it didn’t erase the body he left at the warehouse. 

 ‘If he continued living, he would always have a chance at harming force sensitive kids like (Y/N) again.’

That was what Max kept telling himself every time the image of the man’s dead body appeared in his head. But no matter how much he tried to tell himself, he still didn’t feel justified. 

As he stepped foot into Senator Piquet’s bedroom, Max was hoping that Kelly could help ease his worries, tell him that what he did was justified and that he did the right thing. But her expression mirrored his own as worry was present on her face.

 “What’s wrong?” he asked her.

“My guards informed me what happened.” Kelly said. 

Max froze. Kelly’s gaze seemed to pierce right through him and instantly made him feel guilty. He didn’t know how to respond to her, and Kelly continued after Max’s continuous silence. 

“They told me that  when they got there to apprehend him…they found him dead. It was clear that he was killed by a lightsaber.” Keylly said. “And they told me that (Y/N) had come out of the building, and you weren’t with her. You didn’t leave the building until a couple of minutes after (Y/N).”

Kelly stepped forward, the worry growing on her face. 

 “(Y/N) said you'd bring him in alive,” Kelly said. “What happened, Max?”

Max stepped closer to Kelly.

 “I did what I had to Kelly. You saw how much this man’s very presence affected (Y/N)...and the amount of children he had locked in cages. He couldn’t be left alive! Even if he was arrested and thrown in a jail cell, there was always the possibility that he could get out and continue harming kids!”

Kelly closed the distance between her and Max and gently grabbed his hands. Max couldn’t meet her eyes.

“But I feel like…I didn’t do the right thing.” Max said. “The guilt isn’t going away Kelly. I don’t know what to do. Jedi aren’t supposed to kill unless in self defense and no matter how much I justify it, this feeling won’t go away. And the anger I felt…I thought it was going to consume me…it didn’t go away till that man was dead.”

 “Does (Y/N) know…that you killed him?”

“No. I’m worried about her though…I had never seen her that angry before.” 

Max doesn’t tell Kelly about how close it had almost gotten to (Y/N) being the one to kill The Slavetrader. That was something that stayed between him and (Y/N).

 “I think you should tell her. She has a right to know that the man who tormented her as a child is dead.” Kelly said. Max nodded his head.

“I need to check up on her anyway.” He said. Still not meeting Kelly’s eyes, he gently kissed her cheek before pulling away and leaving to find his padawan. 

It wasn’t hard to find (Y/N) as she sat outside on the back porch. She almost looked calm as she stared up at the stars, but Max could sense her unease. 

“Hey…” Max quietly said to get her attention. 

 “Hey…” (Y/N) briefly looked at him before looking back at the stars. Max walked over and took a seat next to her, also deciding to gaze at the stars.

“How are you feeling?” He asked. (Y/N) looked down at her hands.

“I’m…ok…i guess.” She said, 

 “Are you sure?”

(Y/N) shook her head.

 “I know I should feel some sense of relief, that it’s all over and that man won’t hurt anyone again. But I can’t keep thinking about how I felt, back in that room.”(Y/N) said. Max turned and looked at (Y/N).

“I almost lost myself in there, Max. I was so caught up in all the anger and pain that that man had caused me, that I almost let it control me and kill him. I know that you and Seb have taught me countless times to not let my emotions control my actions and I’m terrified that this could happen again.” She told him, now turning to look at him.  

 ‘It won’t’ That’s what Max was supposed to tell her. That even though she had the capabilities of her anger overpowering her thinking, that it wouldn’t happen again as long she continued to control her emotions. Max would have told her that…if the same thing didn’t happen to him. And that’s why he was sitting in front of her right now. 

“(Y/N), I need to tell you something…”

 “What is it?”

Max knew that telling (Y/N) about what he had done to that slave trader may ease the guilt that was eating him from the inside, relieve him of some of the stress or at least help him comprehend what exactly he had done. She had a right to know.

“I…I uh…”

Max looked at (Y/N) with an expression that made it hard for him to even speak the words that he needed to say.

“I’m dating Senator Piquet”

~~~

Taglist: @fangirl-dot-com @chasing-liberosis @miarabanana @vicurious28 @mayo-0-o @nikfigueiredo @annabellelee @iloveyou3000morgan @elegantweird-orchest

[intramoon]

hi aj !! i have a question i dont want to sound rude please know im not trying to be rude. i came back to simblr after a long time and its been really hard not to get discouraged. :/ my account is really dead no one interacts with me anymore. stuff is so different. i remember you used to be kinda popular but how do you deal with people not interacting with you as much as they used to?? i dont mean that in a mean way!! i dont want to quit simblr but idk how to get back to how things were

Hi! Don't worry, I don't think you're being rude, I understand where you're coming from. ♡ My response will be long because I have a lot to say about the topic, hopefully, it will help you.

If you were mostly active when I was in my "prime" (assuming that's what you mean by "kinda popular"), like 2018-2021, things will never be how they were then. The community, trends, and how we interacted with each other was so much different, I don't think it will ever go back to how it was then. I am kind of happy about that. Although my relationship with that time on Simblr is nostalgic (despite being too young and miserable to enjoy it), I think the community is in a healthier place now (mostly). I have had to adjust to a couple of things since coming back. One is that the content looks different now.

In my "prime" people were just getting into editing (that was a time before ReShade). Heavy editing and experimental editing were really celebrated, partly because everyone was learning and learning from each other. We just wanted to see what was possible. Now, maybe partly in reaction to that trend and how demanding it was, people have found an appreciation for the base game, simple screenshots with really only ReShade/gshade, CAS screenshots, etc. Not to say the former doesn't exist anymore because it absolutely does and people have become truly incredible at it. In some regard, it is an acquired taste especially if that's all you do. I've thought to myself many times should I stop editing the way I do, does that impact the way people take in my content? Do I have editing blindness? lol I like how I edit, I enjoy the process and, even if I do have editing blindness, I like how it looks. Even being an alpha creator, they are fewer and fewer as people opt for MM and MMix. I've thought, do people really not like alpha content anymore? Even my story at times felt like it didn't fit into the current story ethos. I thought about stopping it. I bring that all up to say, when you're coming back to a very different Simblr it can feel like what you used to make doesn't "fit in". And it might not. I don't think that should be the goal. The community now is so much more diverse, content-wise, that anything you want to make is possible. If you sacrifice your artistic vision, you'll end up leaving again. You have to make what speaks to you, regardless of the other noise.

Two, you have to find your reason for making your art. For a moment, I really lost touch with what I was even doing here. I took some time to figure it out. I first started because I wanted to tell a story that talked about intimacy through the lens of a sex worker and someone who had no romantic or sexual experience. I wanted to do this without over-sexualizing my sex worker character and infantilizing my other character. I wanted to write some of the dialogue I was having internally. Way back when that was all I wanted to do, I didn't struggle with being seen as much because I was posting with a purpose. That purpose wasn't likes or reblogs, but to tell a story and have a conversation. Everything else came after. Anyone coming back (or looking for a reason to stay) has to find, within themselves, why they want to be here and what they want to get out of it. I promise you if you reconnect with that, posting will be easier regardless of the outcome.

I know I took a lot for granted way back when. Asks about me or my characters, comments, tags, and even people wanting to join me in a Discord server or stream. Sounds like we both, a one point, wish we could go back. That just means it's something to appreciate more now. You can be and make really whatever you want, which wasn't always possible. Maybe think of coming back as a small rebirth and trust that if you keep at it, you will find your people. I am still in the process of finding mine but I trust they are out there. If you're passionate people will feel it. Best of luck and I hope something in this novel helps you! ♡

[asktheritobowyer]

Bad timing or not, one shouldn't loiter if that wasn't the intention. Nonetheless I do thank you for your patronage, but don't perceive yourself as not being able to get better supplies as Link simply because he happens to be well acquainted and liked by the Rito because of what he's done for us.

I'm not blind and ignorant to one's pain Revali. Make no mistake, I know what you went through. I know what all the Champions went through. I'm sure It's not easy to lose your life, just like how I'm sure it's not easy to come back and discover those that you know either died of old age, or simply lost their lives a century ago. Some of you were more fortune than others, in the other Champion's case, they still had their still their relatives or some other form family to come back to. While you and Link didn't.

Failure is something one learns from, it's never the end. No matter how painful it is, no matter how impossible it may seem. Even if the entire world hates you, and blames you for everything that happened. Even if the world scorns you, and constantly reminds you of your failures. It's never to late to pick yourself up from that impossible situation, and prove to people that can you still make a difference. This...is something Link had to learn the hard way.

Revali, you always seem to compare yourself to Link, as if he's something that embodies perfection. Well I can tell you this, he isn't flawless. Far from it. He's caused everyone a lot of headaches, he's reckless, he always gets himself hurt, seems to really enjoy throwing his life away for others, no matter who they are, and has trouble grasping that his life is valued by others. I've scolded him more times than I can count, and Teba's really had his work cut out for him when dealing with him.

Link's just a young man, who lost his innocence earlier than anyone his age should of. Not only that, there is something you have over him. A little something called identity. Don't let his demeanour fool you, Link is...quite damaged Inside. Despite what happened to you, you still remained true to yourself, you are still you. Can you honestly say the same for him?

No one really knows the real Link, aside from maybe Teba, and the Sages. Every so often I see the person buried underneath the façade he puts on. But most of time I see someone who wishes to attune for something that was never his fault. And the real tragedy is most people can't even see that. They just see some invincible hero who'll solve all their problems. Link's status as a hero isn't a boon...it's a burden. One I wouldn't wish upon anyone.

Revali the next to time you see Link, I want you to really look into his eyes. Forget how our people feel him about. Forget how Hyrule looks at him. See past that mask he puts on. I want you to really look at him. If you can see past that façade, you'll understand why our people have been drawn to him, why Teba makes the effort to always ensure he's truly appreciated for who he is, and why Tulin will never leave his side when he's around.

Link is a danger to himself. He always puts others above himself. He probably values your life above his own. If you plan to isolate yourself in Vah Medoh, he will follow you there undoubtedly. No matter what you say to him. No matter how harsh your words my be. Heck you can probably even attack him. He'll stay by your side, willingly choose to freeze up there, and do everything he can to appease you, if it means that you'll be okay. Because that's just the type of person he his. He will never abandon someone in need.

I'll be frank. You're young. You still have a lot of growing up to do, and your behaviour isn't the best. I still think your bad influence. I've never been a fan of braggarts, it's a behaviour trait I'd rather not be picked up by my daughter. Nor am I pleased that the Rito who represented our people had a superiority complex, but...you don't need to change who you are as an individual. You are you, all Rito's take pride in who they are. You simply have to adapt. Don't compare your sense of self worth to Link's, all it does is breed unnecessary resentment. We've all already had our fill of that after the Calamity.

Some advice, if you find yourself having trouble fitting in, I'd recommend spending time with Link. Despite your claims of having no friends in this time. Link truly values you as one, and considers you one of his closest, despite the animosity you had towards him. From what I understand, he's the closest connection you have to the past. Both of you have things that the other lacks, and I believe both of you need each other to help mend the wounds still festering within you two. You may not see it now, but you will in time. You two have a lot in common...more than you realize.

Hello Harth, how do you feel about this whole buisiness with the hundred year old Rito Champion turning up in the present? Do you get along with him?

Why hello there. I suppose it's natural people would want hear my thoughts regarding this topic.

Revali suddenly popping up in the present day, honestly wasn't to surprising to me. Truth be told, so much crazy stuff has happened all around Hyrule the past couple of years, that it would have to take something truly bizarre, for people to be at a loss for words. We had Sheika tech all over Hyrule one moment, only for them to disappear, and then a bunch of Zonai ruins show up instead. After a while you kind of get used to these kinds of things.

As for my thoughts on Revali? He's...quite the ahem ahem personality.

We have interacted a bit, and while our interactions have been fairly amicable, he's honestly not someone I would want to be spending a lot of time around, or someone I'd want my daughter to be associating with to much either.

I always did wonder why the Rito's always spoke of his feats, but never him as a person. If the other champions were remembered for their talents and personality, why not him?

Teba used to speak very fondly of him, but then he suddenly stopped, almost like he discovered something he didn't want to. It speaks volumes, when Teba is adamant that Link become a role model for Tulin, rather than the supposed pride of our people.

I asked Link what the Rito Champion was like, after discovering he's the same hero from a century ago, but he claimed to not remember, which I knew was a bold faced lie. It's like Link was trying to intentionally hide something about him. Teba's not the only one with a keen eye. He may be good at masking his emotions, not so much unpleasant memories. One look at Link's eyes told me everything I needed to know.

I asked Kass about Revali to, and he told me that sometimes ignorance is the best thing for others. Meeting Revali in person, I can see what he meant. The very person the Rito's respected so highly, in truth didn't have the most appealing personality, and wasn't on best terms with the Hero of Hyrule, because he deemed himself as superior.

Revali is talented there's no doubt about that. His skills are the real deal, his arrows fly true, I can respect his capabilities as a Rito warrior. But humility is clearly not something he considers necessary. He always seems to seek validation, never sparing a second to display his superior skills to others, or opinions about how much better he is, and seems to enjoy belittling Link, which I absolutely will not tolerate.

While I'm not one to bring up the past, Link succeeded where he failed, and saved Rito Village, as well as ours lives twice over. He is in no position to claim superiority over him, nor can he dismiss Link's many contributions in aiding the Rito people. Link has spent many years helping us all out, never once asking for anything in return. Being the Rito Champion, doesn't mean I should just suddenly like him more, now that he's back, because he's of the same race as me. That kind of respect is earned, not given freely.

Revali does have a compassionate side, and his desire to protect Rito Village is genuine. He loves our people with all his heart. However that does not excuse his behaviour, nor his shameful treatment of Link.

Everyone within Rito Village highly respects Link for everything he's done for them, and I'm sure over time it'll be quite the reality check for Revali. To find whatever adoration he may have had in the past, isn't quite so prevalent here in the present, and continuing to belittle Link won't do his reputation any wonders.

Teba sees Link as his kid, and most certainly wouldn't hesitate to speak up for him, even to Revali. Tulin looks up to Link like an idolized older brother, and even considers him as such, not to mention Link in many ways helped nurture him into what he is today. I myself am also very fond of him, because of the positive effect he's had on my family, and Rito Village as a whole. I'm sure many others within the village share similar sentiments.

In any case, I can talk to Revali just fine, but if he expects me to always take his side, and prefer him over others because he's the Rito Champion, he'll find this Bowyer isn't quite so tolerant.

[blueskittlesart]

Hi! As someone who now kinda wants to check out Trigun because of the hype, do you recommend that I can start with Stampede? Or do I really need to watch the OG anime first to better understand/enjoy it? Thank you! 🙋🏻‍♀️

you can start with stampede! i'd say knowing the context of the original enhances the experience but isn't necessary to enjoy the show. I would consider stampede more viewer-friendly, especially for those of us who are used to modern storytelling conventions (the original suffers the consequences of general writing trends in anime at the time it was produced and of the fact that it was produced long before the manga was finished, so the story is somewhat disjointed and has a lot of filler which makes it REALLY hard to get into.) if you do end up liking stampede, however, I'd suggest trying out watching at least SOME of the original because it adds a lot of cool nuance and context to the story that stampede tells!

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

i still can't get over my roommate implying i was autistic and my friend pulling out her phone to show me the "i'm like if a beautiful woman was an autistic little boy" meme that she'd been saving for the occasion someone acknowledged it

[snekdood]

i worry a lot about some transfems and its not me trying to be like "im better than you" or some shit its bc some of them remind me of me when i was a kid and new into being considered a girl/woman and being really naive thinking people would treat me better than they would- like i knew people were gonna be shitty but i wasnt prepared for the sheer amount of dehumanization and being reduced to just a sex object... idk... I just want some of you out there to be careful...

[janamelie]

#This was so hard there's so many interesting dynamics and ones that have such strong potential#Ultimately went with Kochanski and Rimmer though because the parallels fascinate me#Their dynamic was sadly underutilized in series VIII. Cassandra is the best of that series but it replaced what could've been a more complex#relationship between two characters who don't fit in with the universe they find themselves in and the group they're a part of with#Hey what if man wants to bang woman. Hey wouldn't that be funny#Anyways it's completely understandable why Cat and Lister is winning (atm) because I definitely love their relationship too!#Imagine you're a stray that's been (nearly) on your own for years when the guy who is supposed to be your species' god shows up#and takes you in and now you're just best friends. Love that gradual shift in Cat it's very sweet#Kryten and The Cat should have more one-on-one scenes because outside of the mandatory jabs all of the crew take at each other#they seem to be on chill terms and I think that's fun. Both of them should commiserate over the human strangeness of their fellow crew#Both of their relationships with Kochanski are interesting to think more deeply about as well#As much as both parts of Pete blend together and become a dull haze in my mind one post bringing up the three of them doing their own thing#without Lister and Rimmer is so true and funny. Going hands off with that duo as the two get back on their bullshit#Cat seems to also fall into the dynamic with Kochanski of man thinks woman is hot but I think it'd be fun to see him have#some more respect for her in her style than the other humans he knows. And I know Kryten's opinion of her improves when he thinks of how#he can look after her and Lister’s kids but I think it would be neat to picture a more gradual change#that's a much better reason for him to be in the women's section of the Tank than to set the scene for Krytie TV. ugh.#I've already made a couple posts about Kryten and Rimmer so needless to say I think their deal is intriguing#The Cat and Rimmer are as well for similar expressions of their relationship as Rimmer and Kryten even if the reasons differ#Oh god I've noticed how long I've been rambling whoops! Didn’t even get to Lister and Kryten#(though it doesn't even feel like I'd need to get into why I love their dynamic)#or any with Holly (which also have a lot of potential)#Ohh all of the characters make me go crazy. Love them all <3

Good tags. :D

Favourite Dynamic?

Excluding Lister / Rimmer and Lister / Kochanski, which of these dynamics do you wish had more screentime in Red Dwarf? Holly refers to either Holly and Kochanski to either Kochanski.

By "dynamic", I mean either platonic or romantic. Your choice.