#(and a little shippy ;) kind of only a little)
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unexpectedbrickattack · 2 years ago
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Hiding the rest of this HUGE comic behind a readmore for ur sanity
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Hes got the keenest eye for these things!
Now that this is hiding behind a readmore i can justify writing an essay in here. Nothing big tho i am just very chatty :)!
Postgame where Peppino still gets visits every now and again from the bosses of the tower. I already drew one for the noise (lmao) but i wanted to draw each of the main four interacting with him in some way.
Pepperman is a refined and well renowned artist. His art is highly sought after and his advice is not taken lightly. He has many MANY fortunes to pull from to make his visions a reality and to influence anyone to do anything. Except for Peppino.
From the very first fight, Pepperman is immediately, overwhelmingly obsessed with this stout little brawler. He is much much more than what meets the eyes. He is initially extremely offput and annoyed that a human so boldly decided to waltz into his domain, and he expects to be able to steamroll and bully this…beast…out of his place of work. He is refined when he wants to be, but he is quick to use his brute strength to get what he wants if only bc he knows he can do it
And so when he decides to fully charge and thrash this little trembling human, expecting him to skitter away the second he gets struck, he is completely unprepared for when he gets launched to the other end of this room. The human looks so incredibly PISSED, like a bull seeing red, and suddenly this little altercation suddenly became a real actual ‘knock your teeth out’ brawl. This human is only like half his height, but his punches and bashes fucking knock the wind out of him.
And like ! To add insult to injury!!! After he wins the fight! He visibly deflates, the adrenaline seemingly wearing off. Hes just this trembling fuckin whelp again !!! Whimpering as he fucking runs back out through the portal to do god knows what. And Pepperman could not be any more fucking intrigued. Like this no name came in, whooped his fuckin ass, and went about his day. Its unreal
While Peppino is running around climbing the tower, Pepperman is in his room losing his mind. Hes obsessed. No one has challenged him in this way. No one has fought him and WON. He is ALWAYS able to bully people into submission either through brute force or with money, and he got his ass handed to him !! He needs to know more. Its quite literally consuming him.
Cut to the final fight, set up for a rematch; and he knows he is going to get steamrolled again but it is SO exhilarating to get another chance to see this humans form up close again. This time he can try to commit everything to memory. Its all such a blur though, and in a quarter of the time it took to end their first fight, its over. He gets to watch the human fight the gunslinger with his bare hands, no gun necessary, and he doesnt even bat an eye at what looks to be a clone of himself. He is a force of nature tearing through every single defense, and when Pepperman watches the actual final fight with the bizarre little pizza man, its like hes caught in a movie. The rain, the storm, the atmosphere. He wishes he could burn the entire scene into his mind.
So when everything returns to normal, he takes the time to travel for days to come and find this little human named Peppino. The memory is still strong and vivid but eventually, details will start to slip his mind. He needs to find this human, convince him to sit and do some still life sessions with him to help cement the humans appearance in his head. He hasnt had to resort to…asking for permission for anything in a loooong time…he bullies people into doing what he wants but Peppino is not your average person, and if he wants something from this man, he’ll have to meet him at his level.
He...can make an exception for Peppino...he supposes.
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lyss-sketchbox · 4 months ago
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Your latest Wriolette art is so cute! Neuvi is usually depicted as serious or stoic so seeing him playing around with his sig weapon is very adorable of him. It also shows how relaxed he is when he's with Wrio to be able to tease like that (although it is canon in his scenes with Wrio that he is trying to improve his sense of humor). This art has really made me happy. Thank you so much for sharing it!
WAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'm glad you like it! It was certainly a joy to draw too ^^
Yeah i honestly love the idea of them opening up to each other to the point THE chief justice of fontaine teases and jokes around! He deserves it
And. Yeah. I mean. If you have a floating book at your beck and call, id totally do it.
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retroautomaton · 1 year ago
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I’ve been working on this extremely self-indulgent zine lately, and it’ll be out tomorrow! ✨
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soubiapologist · 6 months ago
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ok so i've speculated on what kind of home environment[s] mimuro and mei might have before but like the kind of home environment that produces people who just like lie like that. well. smiles.
#to be clear i do think he was being serious when he said that i don't think mimuro is running around with the intention to abandon nisei--#let alone at such a critical moment but like ough agh...................#like mimuro kind of is a patently unreliable person who builds himself up as an authourity figure with absolutely zero follow through#or seemingly any investment in following through#he's one of the few units we never see casting any kind of spell#like he does not want to be here he's just maintaining an image. smiles.#i think it's really funny that that's the sort of person nisei would allow himself any sort of passive attachment to also lmao#like this noncommital asshole when we know what nisei's home life is like like............#it's just what's comfortable for a person like nisei i think.#someone with the illusion of power that he can attach to but who isn't willing to actually wield it over him#and someone who's too caught up in their own head to properly attach to him which is familiar to him#and he also doesn't have to worry (in his head) if they do abandon him because it wasn't real anyway so whatever#i do think mimuro loves nisei. i do but i have no idea if nisei knows this and if he does i don't think regardless of anything he feels--#for mimuro that he's above using those feelings to manipulate him.#but i do think it's interesting that he does show at least a passive investment in mimuro's safety. not even in like a shippy way i just--#think that like. idk nisei cares about people and what they think of him a lot more than he lets on#and i do think he cares about mimuro and if mimuro shows up again i think he's going to be mad at him for abandoning him#even though SIGH like mimuro isn't wrong. in that like breaking things off with nisei is objectively the best move for mei (and his own)--#safety but he's also literally nisei's only like. support network. in any capacity. and i do think that like soubi nisei probably has--#some amount of abandonment issues though obvs probably not as bad as soubi's but that's like. soubi's child abuse tulpa vs nisei's child--#neglect tulpa ethos innit...........#it's sooooo ourhgh......... curls up in a little ball and dies. anyway.
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samarecharm · 8 months ago
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Scheming…
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#chattin#taking time to draw and write out a relationship/dynamics chart for the thieves and assorted friends#bc theres. alot. and it would be nice to write it out. it would help establish my thoughts about them#its not poly/thieves but its. kind of adjacent to it. but its less shippy and more focused on how they interact-#-and behave with one another. like theyre kinda bonded together over everything. lines get a little blurred but its what works for them#and i think lumping them all together as poly/thieves is a shortcut for breaking down their character#like obv akira has diff relationships for everyone; but how do THOSE people react to others ??#like pego/ryu is real and true but also ann is absolutely there. u cannot separate them.#theyre the shujin delinquents to me LOL. they are too tightly bound together to let any external relationship split them at this point#akiras not w goro; its akira AND ryuji w goro. like akira and goro would just not work; but ryuji make its work well yknow?#goro doesnt get third wheeled w ann and vice versa bc ann and goro are good friends; they just hang :)#its like. if u could SEE the fucking string of connections making a mess of my white board in my minds eye…😭#so im trying to write it down into something that works for me#i dunno. i think its fun :) i did this for ffxv too#only that was way easier bc its just the four of them. but like. how do their internal relationships affect the overall polycule ?#anyway. inspired by that love post; that theres diff kinds of love. and kiss ryuji week LOL#bc i wanted to write a small thing with different thieves for each prompt#and im like how would their relationships differ from one another ?#ryuji and akira but also ryuji with makoto. ryuji w haru. ryuji w yusuke. its like.#u cant use the same thing from most pego/ryu fics bc they DIDNT meet the same way#waugh.#rambling#just know that im insane. i have all these wips and nothing FINISHED. waaa.#this is what that post meant about being obsessed over bad media LMAO. this is just what happens#u stay up thinking about fake polycules from a game that came out seven years ago#i think….#WHAT. 2016???#EIGHT years ???#funny bc i was thinking about how ffxv was eight yesrs old and i am still a mess over it#well. could u imagine if i played p5 when it LAUNCHED instead of in 2020???
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shadamyheadcanons · 8 months ago
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For me, Shadow and Amy's dynamic is basically two different types of touch starved in a person
((If any of the gifs on this post aren’t loading for you on mobile--like they aren’t for me--you can download them or check the sources listed. As for desktop, they play just fine, but they won’t line up next to each other like they do on mobile. Tumblr is a comedy of errors.))
Yes! Absolutely. I’ve seen tons of fans say Shadow is prickly and would respond badly to hugs, but canon says otherwise. This is a bad reaction:
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[Sonic 06]
Whenever I feel like being sad, I wonder if Bad-Future-06 Silver has ever been hugged.
This is a bad reaction:
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[Sonic Unleashed, gif source.]
And I shouldn’t have to say this, but...yeah. These are very bad reactions:
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[Sonic X]
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[Sonic Generations]
Yikes. I feel bad for both of them.
But this?
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[Sonic Adventure 2, gif source.]
This is Shadow’s only canonical hug in the games, and aside from jumping slightly from being snuck up on, he seems to like it just fine.
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Just look at that smile! He’s happy. He finds it endearing.
It was a hug from a complete stranger meant for someone else, but he still drank it in--and, given that he’d effectively just lost Maria, he really did need it. It’s the combination of Amy’s gentleness AND her speech that changed his mind. After all, if someone as sweet as her sees something in the humans, maybe they’re not so bad.
My buddy who runs @shadowxamyweek recently reblogged a post about this hug, and their tags sum it up perfectly:
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[ID: A screenshot of tags on a post. The tags read:
#official art #4kids #shadow the hedgehog #amy rose #YEAH 😭 #listen I read nothing that has happened with them in SA2 as shippy - and i ship them #THIS HUG? THR SPEECH ON THE ARK? #those are two lonely kids #those are two left behind kids #those are two kids so desperate for affection #for two vastly different reasons #Amy loves with her whole chest and will never stop doing so- no matter what happens #and Shadow does too- that is key to remember- Shadow loves... so fucking much... that it hurts #you are RIGHT op when you say this is probably the first time someone has been gentle with him in a long long time #he doesn't even run away #in the game- when Amy flees- he takes a step after her- a moment's hesitation- a 'wait' #this kid NEEDED a hug #and i firmly believe part of the reason Shadow listens to Amy in the end is BECAUSE she is the only person who showed him gentleness #softness and kindness and affection #if only for a moment #fjdodhdofjgor THIS is what i mean when i say 'be gentle- be kind' #it MATTERS #it FUCKING MATTERS
End ID]
Shadow doesn’t hate hugs inherently; it’s just that no one hugs him in the first place...
...aside from one person.
Amy’s easily the most affectionate character in the cast. It’s cute at first glance, but there’s a common thread to every instance that puts a damper on it.
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She’s always, ALWAYS the initiator.
She puts more into each hug than anyone else does.
She’s always the last to pull away.
The most reciprocated Amy hug I know of in canon is this one:
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[IDW Sonic issue #22]
Which is absolutely adorable...but Amy still initiated. Because it’s always her job. Even the characters who like affection don’t need it the way she does...with one exception.
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And this tiny detail just killed me. The little, “wait, come back 😟”
It’s the only time I know of when someone has actually stepped after her like this. In a game where everyone left Amy behind, he wanted to follow her. Mister so-called-prickly didn’t want the hug to end.
Because he’s the only one who needs it as much as she does.
He wants to be held as much as she wants to hold someone else, and no one else is warm and sincere enough for it. Compare these instances:
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[IDW issue #6]
Sonic thinks Shadow is wrong about something, so he grabs Shadow’s arm to stop him, and Shadow aggressively wrenches it away and leaves.
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[Archie Sonic Universe #23]
But when Amy thinks Shadow is wrong about something and grabs his arm to stop him, he gently removes her hand and thinks about what she has to say.
Even when he doesn’t want to be touched, he makes the distinction between “don’t touch me” and “not right now, please.” These are from two different continuities, of course, but I think the point stands. Amy’s special. He’s gentler with her than he is with other people, and that’s consistent across all canons.
Side note: how often does Amy get to feel special like that? I actually really like that Sonic doesn’t place others in a hierarchy of importance, and I wouldn’t change that about him even if I could...
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[IDW issue #2]
...but Amy does play favorites. I want her to feel like she’s someone else’s favorite, too. I want her to have someone who puts her first and likes her best. I think Shadow’s more than capable of that. I believe he craves clinginess like hers deep down, even if he hasn’t consciously figured that out yet.
I have an entire tag for these two being affectionate. My favorite is probably this one.
Of course, there may be those who say I’m reading too much into one (1) hug. And you know what? Maybe they’re right! We need a bigger sample size. Sega, make more characters hug Shadow, please. Let Rouge comfort him after he confides in her about something. Have Omega give him an awkward metal embrace because he read on the internet that organic beings like that kind of thing. Make Shadow himself pull Silver into a hug when he’s breaking down crying from the stress of always having to be a hero. Show Tails accidentally grab onto him out of fear when they’re trapped in a lightning storm, and when he gets embarrassed and pulls away, have Shadow hold him for the rest of the storm and admit he’s not fond of bright lights, either.
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[Sonic Boom]
That scene where Shadow and Amy rescue Cream and Cheese from Cryptic Castle? That easily could’ve turned into a cute group hug.
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[Shadow the Hedgehog (2005)]
And I have seen some absolutely adorable fanart where he holds Cream’s hand while he and Amy lead her through Cryptic Castle to make sure she doesn’t get lost 🥺
Have Knuckles give him an empathetic bro-pat on the shoulder when he finds out Shadow’s the last one of his race, too.
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[Archie Sonic Universe #89]
Have Sonic try to hug him, and then when Shadow inevitably pushes him away and says he doesn’t do hugs, have Amy arrive and latch onto Shadow instead while he tries to stutter out an excuse as to why she’s allowed to and Sonic isn’t.
The most affection Shadow has in recent history is stuff like this...
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[Sonic Prime season 2 episode 1]
...where Sonic tries to hug him and Shadow immediately pushes him away, knocks him over, and tries to punch him in the face. Kind of says it all. Amy stands out as the only one with a good track record here.
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[IDW issue #36]
Especially when you have him look at her like this when someone else is on the receiving end of that affection.
So in the absence of further evidence, I have no choice but to interpret this in the most Shadamy way possible. Your move, Sega.
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imababblekat · 1 year ago
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So Close
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@badlywritten-stuff2 ,"i am a sucker for spiderman reader w the turtles so i was hit w a potentially galaxy brain (and. shippy.) idea; the reader and leo are about to have like, a spiderman-esqe kiss where the reader is hanging upside down on their web with only half their face showing (you know the scene-- that's ROMANCE baby!) maybe it's a little farther down the line, in terms of their relationship and it's crept into less platonic and more 'i like you' vibes but still very much leo doesnt know our beloved spidey's identity. then the boyz show up and they're all like "YALL WAS GONNA KISS??" and leo and spidey are like "NUH UH" or something idk! have fun with it i just got the sillies. thank you! i hope youre doing well!"
◌ S,p = Spider Persona ◌
~xXx~
The air felt chill across green pebbled skin, a light rain cascading down from the sky and creating a beautiful wash of colors of the city scape for Leo to gaze upon. Despite being a stickler for always staying together, especially when in the world above his home, the mutant turtle felt he exceptionally needed this moment of peace. Away from the loud bustle of his brothers, away from the grueling training he’d tunnel vision himself into in moments like these, and away from the heavy expectations of being not only the eldest but the leader put upon him.
With a heavy breath through his nose and eyes shut closed, the terrapin in blue had not noticed the quiet pitter patter of feet behind him.
“Looks like someone finally learned to get out and have some fun for once.”
Leonardo nearly jumped out of his shell, but was quick to recover and turned with a glare that quickly dissipated at realizing who his uninvited guest was.
“(S,p), what are you doing here?”, he questioned, trying his best to stop the small flutter in his chest.
Sitting on the ledge of the door that led to the roof they both now occupied, the eyes of the friendly neighborhood (S,p) motioned in a way of how one would quirk a brow.
“Uhm, fighting crime. What are you doing out here? Thought Raph was the one to go soloing about.”
Leo looked down to the city streets below, his face scrunching up at being reminded of one of his latest stressors.
“Nothing, I. . .I just needed some air.”
(S,p) frowned at this. The hunched form, stiff shoulders, and shadows beneath gorgeous blue eyes were only a few tell tales of what Leo was currently going through.
“Hey. . .”
Leo watched as (S,p) hoped down from their perch, walking only a few steps before sitting down on the edge beside him. A gentle hand had come to rest on Leo’s forearm, and even through the miraculous suit they wore, he could still feel the comforting heat of their touch.
“Remember what we talked about?”, (S,p) questioned, looking up into Leo’s cerulean(?) eyes, that of which shyly wished to look away but held firm.
“You can’t keep things bottled up, Leo. It’ll weigh you down till it suffocates you.”
Swallowing a tightness in his throat, said terrapin could no longer hold his best friends gaze, and instead focused on the smaller hand still rested upon him.
“I know. I’m still just not used to this kind of thing.”, he admitted, a dusting across his chilled cheeks in the New York night.
For a brief moment, he wondered if you were cold as well, and could not help the feeling of concern at you becoming sick for being out in such weather trying to comfort him. Though, he knew any attempt at dissuading you would be futile. The more time you and the four brothers had spent together, the closer you and honorable terrapin had grown, no way was he going to get rid of you that easily. Your gentle caringness you were about to display proving as such.
“That’s okay. That’s why I promised to always be here when you needed and were ready.”, you beamingly reminded, taking your other hand to gently cup Leo’s face and direct his focus back to you.
The flutter felt earlier returned once more to Leonardo’s chest, his wrapped hand reaching up to gently lay over the hand that still caressed his face.
How had he become so lucky to meet someone like you? He knew not of your true identity, but Leo still fully believed he could trust you with his life and vice versa. Maybe it was because you were not so normal yourself, but whatever the case may be, you never treated Leo like a freak. Not only that, but you saw more of him then some cold hardass leader. You saw past the wall he built, the façade he wore as his duty placed upon him at such a young age. It wasn’t that Leo disliked being a leader, but it hadn’t been easy on him and he very much felt alone at times. Yet, when you had stumbled into their lives, it was like a ray of sun came to cast out the rays of his lonely mind. You had always cared for him, and you still continued to do so, as he found himself doing for you as well.
There was no one he felt closer to in his whole life but you.
“So, do you feel up for talking? Or do you just wanna hang for a while?”, you quietly asked, tucking one of Leo’s mask tails aside.
With a warming smile, Leo stood, taking your hand he still held and pulling you up gently as well.
“I think I’d just like to hang, if you’re not too busy kicking bad guy butt.”
You giggled, a melody like sound to Leo’s ears as he watched you walk back to the place you once sat perched upon.
“For you? Never busy! I know this cute little roof top café we can hit up. It’s got a little private area the owner set aside for me to take breaks at. Won’t have to worry at all about any surprises.”
Watching you jump up to the higher roof ledge, Leo thought about your proposition. Sitting in a cozy area with calming night rain in New Yorker city, enjoying a nice warm cup of coffee with the one person who could light up a whole room? What could be better?
“That sounds really nice actually. They have any pastries?”, Leo asked, getting ready to follow you up.
“As a matter of fact, they do! Oooh, their honey rolls are just ab-shit!”
Leonardo's heart spiked as he saw you suddenly slip on the wet surface above, and with quick reflexes he lurched forward, ready to catch you in his arms. Unfortunately, your own reflexes had kicked in just in time for you to web your self to the dryer, bottom portion of the ledge, leaving you effectively upside down. Combining both of your quick movements, neither Leo or you had time to stop the momentum of your faces colliding together. Despite being masked, there was no doubt in either of your minds the connection you each felt upon one another's lips. As quick as it had happened it was just as quickly over; Leo stepped back faster than lightning and his face lighting up as red as his brothers mask. As for you, your whole body felt it’s only electricity, spidey senses going awry from the incident.
“I-I’m so sorry!! I was just trying to catch you and-“
“N-no, I should apologize! I’m the one who slipped!”
The air grew thick with silence, as neither you or Leo looked at the other, hearts still racing and emotions on the high end. You were still buzzing, a new feeling you had never felt before coursing through you. It was your spidey sense, that you knew, but it hadn’t been the same as every other time you’ve experienced it. It was warm, soothing, elating, like taking a nap cozied up in bed with the window open to allow for a nice spring breeze.
Taking a chance, you glanced over at Leo, the later still looking to the ground. Not aware of the eyes upon him, Leo slowly had reached up to touch his own lips, a glimmer in his eyes that had not gone unnoticed by you. The sight sent a flutter of your own though your chest, as you thought back on all the special moments that you both had shared.
Almost similarly to Leo, you had felt alone for so long. A hero with abilities never heard of before and no one to learn from. Navigating a new world and taking on responsibilities and hardships you’d never asked for. When you met the ninja turtles though, and found yourself in an ever growing friendship with Leonardo, you suddenly found yourself almost not ever remembering what loneliness felt like.
“Hey, Leo?”
Said terrapin was quick to look your way, feeling the shyness of your gaze as you called for him.
“Yeah?”
“Do you uhm. . .”
Your voice fell to a mumble, your characteristic bravado suddenly gone. Leo chanced stepping forward, and once sure that you were comfortable with him moving into your space he continued closer.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.”
Leo felt a new nervousness within him. You both knew it was an accident, but dear god, did you hate him now? Was this going to change things for the worse? The thought of your friendship dwindling caused an ache in Leo’s heart as he worriedly waited for you to repeat yourself. However, the next words you’d speak would be the complete opposite of the turmoil within his mind.
“I-I said. . .do you want to try that again?”
Leo gulped, his eyes behind his blue mask widening.
“What? Kiss?!”
“Yeah.”
“Uhm, but your mask. Are you sure your okay with?”, Leo gestured to his own face, knowing how important your identiy was to you.
You simply nodded, gaze just as soft as the handsome one now mere inches from you.
“You can pull it down part way.”
“Are you sure?”, Leo asked once more, half lidded stare looking into the eyes of your mask, that of which he swore for but a brief second he saw (e,c) orbs.
“Yeah, I trust you.”
That was all that Leonardo needed to hear, his heart now feeling like it would explode just by your simple, but powerful statement. Ever so gently he peeled down your mask, mind a flutter at finally seeing some hint of your true self. This whole action and moment had been elating for you as well, a thrill in your heart at feeling the brush of Leo's hands across your bare skin.
With the ambiance of falling rain, glowing lights of ranging hues, and the warmth of the others breath, the kiss Leo was about to share with you, would be a cherished memory for a life time and more.
“Hey, guy’s! I found him!”
Never had you pulled your mask up so quickly, and never had Leonardo let out such a roaring groan. Foot falls came to a halt as Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo hopped onto the roof top you both occupied.
“What the hell, man?! We’ve been tryin’ to reach you all night!”, Raph glowered throwing his hands up as his brother in blue sent him the sharpest of glares.
“There’s been a Foot Clan robbery, and NYPD needs back up.”, Donnie hurriedly spoke, too focused on one of his gadgets to take notice of the same death glare sent his way.
Ultimately, it was Mikey who had come to read the room, going to give you an excited greeting when he took notice of the bashful look displayed on your mask, Leo’s deep scowl, and the close proximity between you both. The biggest, toothiest of smiles breached the youngest face, but Leo had no time to stop him from speaking out.
“Yooo!! Were you two about to do what I think you were about to do?!”
Raphael and Donnie confusedly looked to Mikey, Leo furiously making motions to get Mikey to shut up.
“What are you talking about, Mikey?”, Raph spat, not in the mood for his antics.
“Oh you knooow~ Leo and (s,p), sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”
Realization smacked both Raph and Donnie in the face at that moment as they quickly looked between you both, each’s expression brimming with surprise.
“Wait, seriously?! Is that why you weren’t answering your phone?!, Donnie gawked while adjusting his glasses.
“So, like. . .with mask or no mask?”, Raph questioned with a shit eating grin.
Another heavy groan reverberated from Leonardo as his brother huddled together to begin their collective teasing. How was he going to survive this? Cheeks hot with embarrassment as his brother laughed and continued to banter from a distance, Leo turned to apologize to you, only to find you suddenly absent. Leo felt a sudden sadness at your disappearance, but a ping to his phone caught his attention. A text notification, above the many missed calls from his siblings, caught his eyes.
“Meet you dorks at the robbery! Coffee after? Or will you be too busy dying from your brothers torment? ; )”
Leo let out a breathy chuckle, and with a warm grin and even warmer heart, sent a message in return.
“For you? Never busy!”
~xXx~
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antimony-medusa · 2 years ago
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Okay so, the thing about Boundaries, and why people keep bringing them up over and over again to creators, is I think there's a bit of a desire for what people are doing here to not be weird. Cause like, the creator signed off on it, so like, I'm fine and you can't make fun of me or get mad at me.
And like, I understand the desire to not be made fun of or have people get mad at you, believe me, I know, but I think we have all just gotta accept that what we're doing is— it's a little weird, bro.
Like by definition what fandom is is getting a little too much into your thing. Fan comes from Fanatic. We all saw some block men and we went way too hard with it. And I think that sufficiently viewed from the outside, there is just no way to do any kind of transformational creation and it not be weird to the wrong people.
Like, taking a character and making them miserable? One of the honourable fandom traditions, whether you're whumping them or if you go hard into comfort at the end. For someone entirely outside of fandom, that's just like why are you DOING that, bro, and when you add in the fact that we're using people's real names (well, gamer tags), there's no way for that not to be odd. "The creator said it was okay" is not going to make people go ??? any less. (Let me emphasize that this is fine, it's just like, also, you bring that up on the bus and peope go ????)
Let's look at fluff. You want to write about your characters in a coffee shop au? You want to write about your characters in a cuddly family dynamic, taking care of each other? You want to age down characters and write kid fic where they learn to face the challenges of the world and it's just so cute and you love them so much even if nothing really bad happens? I promise you that my non-fandom parents are gonna be like "why are you spending your time on that" and again, if you throw in the "is this real people" (it isn't, but that is a delicate thing to explain), you're looking at people staring at you in discomprehension and backing away.
Shippy stuff. Again, one of the honourable fandom traditions. You just love your guys and you want to write about how much they love each other (or maybe make it tragic about how only one person can make it out of the cactus ring). You spent all this time thinking about their feelings writing it out. You write out a kiss scene. It makes you flail happily. Most people don't do that! Absolutely fun to do? Yes! Something you can bring up as an ice breaker at the company potluck? Probably not! We are too much into the characters, and that's fine, but it's still gonna look a bit odd from the outside!
Plotty gen. You're writing an entire new story, but you're taking existing characters for it? Like it's original fiction, but you're using existing characters? Why not just write original fiction <I have had this conversation. Oh, you're writing a story about minecraft characters, and they— they get tortured? Like it starts with them being tortured? <also a fun conversation to be in.
I'm mostly thinking about this from the fanfiction side, but art, meta— we are just getting into things way too much. We're spending hours on this stuff. We drew the creators minecraft sonas in maid dresses. There are millions of words of fiction on the archive about every conceivable universe of good/bad things happeing to the characters. It is a primary hobby, where I could be learning piano or paying attention to sports. And I'm not, and like, that's fine.
I am here to tell you that people absolutely might find what we're doing weird, and also it's entirely fine. I just ran a poll about the sexiest minecraft character that got 68k votes on the most voted poll. And then I had to explain that to my doctor to explain why I didn't really have a normal baseline for the past week to compare to. (Doctor visibly thought it was weird but he was also like "you go" because he's a good doctor, but I had to start with explaining minecraft because he knew NOTHING about what I was talking about.) You just gotta accept that fandom is for a small segment of the population, we are all having fun with ourselves, and it's for us, it's not for the general population, and stop trying to make it palatable to people who don't care to understand. People on this site keep saying "racist white boys" and then they don't have the intellectual curiosity to pursue further as to why maybe that's not true, having a boundaries post is not going to make them nicer. It's fine. They're being jerks, we're just having fun.
And like, stop trying to get the creator to sign off on it. Accept that sometimes we're being weird and they can look at it if they want to see the weird fanatics going too hard with the characters. They will tell us if we're doing something they want to stop associating with their name, and up until that point, just accept that what we're doing is weird, and have fun with it.
We're weird.
Be more weird 2k23.
Have fun with it.
I wrote a time travel AU in DMs with a friend last night about a bird man and a minecraft piglin. Not normal. It's FINE.
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lestappenforever · 9 months ago
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So, I’m like a realist, right? Sure, yes, I ship people from time to time but I know it’s just for funsies. So, I saw a lestappen edit last week and was like “hey cute guys, what’s up with these two? I better check it out.” and have fallen into a bit of a rabbit hole it seems. So I’m back in the real world now, where Max is in a long term relationship and Charles has a girlfriend, and am wondering: how does one explain Max’s behaviour? Does he just have a friend-crush on Charles? Has he always wanted to be friends with him since they were young and it was just hard since they’ve been rivals for so long? Does he envy him maybe since his father wasn’t a pos and he still turned into a great driver? Is it a “it’s lonely at the top” kind of situation, where he’s never been able to make many friends his own age? (I’ve seen Charles with a bunch of friends outside of racing, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen Max with any, but that could be on me.) I mean, a blind person could see that Max takes every opportunity to talk to him or be close to him and he knows stuff about him I’d personally be too embarrassed to admit (like getting his “stupid” quote exactly right or knowing about the twitch thing with his girlfriend forgetting her keys, etc.). I guess I’m looking for the actual non-shippy explanation for this behaviour cause it fascinates me. What are your two cents on this?
Hi anon, and welcome to the world of Lestappen! We're happy to have you. ❤️
I will preface this by saying that shipping is solely for fun, and I don't actually believe Max and Charles are in a secret relationship or anything of the sort. The majority of Lestappen shippers on Tumblr are on the same page about this, with some exceptions, but there are exceptions to anything. And a big part of shipping is speculating, being delusional about them, and overanalyzing things.
Now, in terms of a non-shipping explanation as to why these two behave the way they do around each other, I think it's a combination of all the reasons you've already listed. And the thing about Max and Charles is that they have known each other for so many years. They have been in each other's orbit, in one way or another, for the majority of their lives, and there is no denying that they have seen each other as one of — if not the — biggest rival they've had since they were children. Despite the fact that a lot of the current drivers on the grid have raced each other at some point before F1, there doesn’t seem to be any of them that have the same sort of rivalry that Max and Charles have, which goes so far back. And that kind of bond is one that I believe sticks with you forever.
Now this is not a delusional take at all, as this quote by Armando Filini, manager of the Maranello Kart, the first team for which Leclerc raced, proves: “They were always fighting. It didn't matter if they were competing in a tie or in a final, if it was raining or if the track was dry. Once we were in Genk, Belgium, in the first free practice, and they went on track. Charles and Max met, began to push each other and almost hit each other, with the risk of being left out. Jos Verstappen and I were glued to the fence to look at them and he turned around and said to me: 'These two will fight forever. They will fight even in F1′. A prophecy”.
Even though Max and Charles obviously haven’t been best friends for the majority of the time they've known each other, and they've only started building what appears to be a genuine friendship in the last few years, they share a connection that has been evident to people around them since they were little.
Max's comment from last season where he said that he wasn't surprised both him and Charles were sitting in that press conference together because he always thought that if he made it into F1, Charles would too, is just another testament to how tied together they actually are. And Charles' fond recollections of their karting days in the past season shows that it's a mutual thing: that Charles feels that same bond with Max that Max feels with him. And I think this is the whole baseline for why they've never been able to be normal about or around each other: because they go so far back and their lives are so intertwined that I honestly don't think either of them is fully capable of treating the other as just any other colleague or friend, because they don't see each other that way. They're something more, and by that I don't mean they're secretly in love with each other — they just have this bond that goes beyond normal friendship, forged through years of rivalry, envy, conflict, mutual growth and respect, and eventual friendship.
I have a childhood friend sort of like that: obviously not with the rivalry and drama that comes with the surroundings in which Max and Charles met and grew up, but someone that I share a bond with that I don't share with any of my other friends, old or new, and it's honestly my most treasured friendship because it has helped shape me as a person in a profound sort of way. He's not my closest friend and not the friend I talk to the most since we live on different sides of the country and our paths haven’t crossed much in the past few years, as is often the case when you grow up and become an independent adult. But when I do talk to him and hang out with him, it kind of feels like coming home. And to me, it seems like Max and Charles share that same type of bond.
This is just my personal take as I obviously don't know Max or Charles, and this is all based off of watching their interactions and watching their relationship develop over the past few years, as well as deepdiving into their history in the past. But this is the explanation that makes sense to me.
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lunar-years · 1 year ago
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Okay. Let's talk Jamie and Roy getting beers and being idiots.
I know we are all still processing that whirlwind of a finale. I'm understanding that a lot of people hate the Roy & Jamie scene because it is 1) backslide-y (true) 2) they treat Keeley like a prize to be won (true) and 3) it's OOC (I actually disagree with this one, but I can understand why it's complicated). I want to start off by saying I completely see where this opinion is coming from and I respect everyone who just hates the scene because it shows normally kind characters being very unkind to each other etc. This is less me arguing against that as it is me trying to articulate (at great length, sorry) why it not only worked for me, but I genuinely liked it.
I like to think I strike a balance between loving everything the show has done and hating overwhelmingly on a show I claim to enjoy, but sure, you could definitely argue that I'm just giving my favorite characters the benefit of the doubt, or making excuses for them, because they're my favorite characters. I'll admit I'm historically very forgiving of all the main characters' many fuck-ups on Ted Lasso, but that's because I think the show works best when it emphasizes how kindness, forgiveness, friendship and love can still operate between imperfect, flawed people. I like seeing them make realistic mistakes much more than I like everyone handling everything perfectly, I'll bite.
So, back to Jamie and Roy. I enjoyed their finale plot because despite them making a world of mistakes, the regression felt very, very human. I don't agree at all with the take that this somehow erased all the progress they've made this season or the friendship the show has lovingly crafted between them. In fact, I think this actively reiterated it! (Note: I am operating with my ot3 goggles on at all times, so I'm going to write this with that at least partially in mind, but I think the gist of it works even if you ignore the bits that get a little shippy.)
For both Jamie and Roy, Keeley and their love for her is a major beacon guiding them. I think that is the crisp, clear thing in both of their heads this episode: Keeley is the love of my life. And they both believe that wholeheartedly, and they both want to be with her. (and it's goofy to pretend this came out of nowhere for Jamie/since when is Jamie still in love with her/etc. because he literally told her and us this last season and nothing that has happened since has indicated otherwise, btw.) But there's also something else now, which is their relationship with each other, battling with their Keeley thoughts. It's like, in Roy's head, for instance, I imagine there are two wolves: on the one hand he loves Keeley, and wants to be with her, and plans to win back her heart. On the other hand, there's his love and care for Jamie Tartt, which is much less defined and inarticulate and maybe still a little repressed, but just as overpowering. His love for Keeley feels so simple and clear in comparison, while his love for Jamie is something complicated and unsure, and in this episode, he's leaning hard into the first to avoid unpacking the second.
So Roy starts off strong. He sees Jamie with Keeley in the hallway and he doesn't flip out!! Instead, he approaches Jamie calmly, and invites him out for beers. Think about how different this is from his reaction to Jamie's love confession to Keeley in season 2. This is Roy's growth in action, and it's a resounding sign of just how important Jamie is to Roy now. Even when he is feeling jealous of the woman he loves potentially leaving him behind for a man he loves (a completely natural reaction, let's be so real, if not a "good" one), he also knows that for as much as he wants to be with Keeley, he doesn't want to lose his friendship with Jamie.
As for Jamie, I know some people took his reaction and subsequent response to Nate's question as like, shock at the realization that he and Roy are actually friends now, which I agree is something that had to have come earlier in the timeline (what was Mom City if not that) and would seem very out of place at this point. What I saw it as instead was Jamie's brain more just. sort of short-circuiting? Because: holy shit isn't this the best day ever? First Keeley agreed to go to Brazil with me and now Roy is asking me on a date for beers? this is so sound. This invite is out of place behavior from Roy even within the parameters of their friendship, because they still have a match to win and Roy has banned Jamie from beers as part of his training and despite them being close now I find it hard to believe that Roy often comes up to him right there in dressing room to ask him to grab a beer with no pretense.
Therefore, they're already walking into that bar in completely different head-spaces. Jamie isn't planning to discuss Keeley, and for Roy that is his major intention behind the evening. Jamie is nervous and downing his beer, and Roy is internally panicking, I'm imagining, over when and how to bring Keeley up. I think Roy is thinking: Well, I don't intend to stop pursuing Keeley, I genuinely don't want Jamie's feelings to be hurt when I get back together with her (and yes, it is a huge presumption for him to assume Keeley's going to eventually take him back. But I think it's also an understandable one), so I've got to tell Jamie I care about him, and that I'm going to keep going after Keeley, and he needs to be okay with that so that this won't get in the way of our friendship, which I also desperately need and am unwilling to give up. In his mind, Jamie is of course going to accept all of this, because Roy and Keeley are soulmates, which Jamie will clearly recognize deep down because it is so obvious and right and anyway, Jamie always does what Roy tells him to do (again, this is all misguided thinking. But we can see how Roy's anxious little brain that's bad at processing feelings and holding space for emotions could get himself here, can't we?).
So again, we start off strong with Roy saying he's proud of Jamie and them both thanking one another. But then Roy's blurting out nonsense about how Jamie just needs to pull himself out of the running and just let Roy be with Keeley. Which is obviously not on. And Jamie responds, simply, with No. I'd argue this is also a huge step for Jamie. Jamie really doesn't tell Roy no anymore, he doesn't tell anyone no. Jamie has spent so much of his time since coming back to Richmond working to be the person everyone around him wants and expects him to be. This is him fighting for something he wants for once, doing what is best for him. It was a fabulous progression to see. In the moment, boy does it work Roy up, because why is Jamie not agreeing with me, Jamie always agrees with me? but obviously at this point, Jamie is in the right. His relationship with Keeley was no less meaningful than Roy's just because Roy says it was, Roy doesn't have any claim on her, and there's no real reason Jamie should not try and shoot his shot with Keeley if Roy is going to do the same.
Here's where things start to spiral. Established flaws we know about Roy: he's competitive. He's bad at voicing his feelings productively. And he is territorial about the people he loves, a category that safely includes both Jamie and Keeley at this point in time, for better and sometimes worse. Yes, his next actions are grossly possessive over Keeley, yes Roy has made a lot of effort over the past year to do and be better than that, to break free of that cycle. But look, it's not a linear process. He's going to still mess up, and he does here. In fact he's downright mean, weaponizing Keeley against Jamie and throwing having sex with Keeley a month ago into Jamie's face, bragging about it, boasting. Same old cycle, same old patterns of ego-driven, prideful mistakes.
Which promptly prompts Jamie to also fuck up by bringing up the leak. It's a concentrated response intended to get a suitable rise out of Roy, because Roy has really, genuinely hurt him here, and Jamie knows bringing up that video is the one thing that will hurt Roy just as much in turn. It's not the right thing to do, obviously, but again, it's such a human thing to do. Hurt the person who's hurt you right back, even if you're hurting someone else (Keeley) by extension. Mind you, Jamie came here expecting a hangout (/date) with Roy over a rare beer, and instead he got Roy being a complete asshole and lecturing nonsense at him out of seemingly nowhere. He reacts to this change-up, well, not greatly. There is something so messy and emotionally complicated happening here and it hinges on how very much Jamie and Roy care about each other, not negates it.
Keeley, queen that she is, rejects them both out of hand and kicks them out not the curb immediately because they're both being complete idiots, acting like they're so gracious in giving her the honor and privilege of choosing between them. Not to mention they've clearly got something going on between them they haven't worked through and that sure as shit isn't her problem, is it? Keeley (presumably, and I wish we had seen this) calls them out their shit and tosses them right back out the door.
Which leaves Jamie and Roy to lament how they've let their egos get away from them, they've been idiots (which they acknowledge immediately) and decide that now they should go for kebabs, presumably to actually hangout this time, not to interrupt themselves with inflated talk about who "deserves" Keeley more. They both screwed up, they acknowledge it, and all they can do is try again tomorrow, and in the meantime, go on that kebab date.
I guess....I can just see where both of them are coming from? it's not mature behavior, obviously, it's maybe not what we would have liked to have seen from them in the finale episode of the show. But it was regression that I didn't feel impeded their overall progress. Roy in particular was being a complete dick about it, but that's why the very next morning he's finally knocking on the Diamond Dogs' door. And honestly, that conversation was heartbreaking. When Roy admitted he'd expected, after a year of putting in the work, to be a whole new person...god. This is a man who still completely hates himself, to the point where he can't quite grasp that he can be better where he's at now, that he doesn't have to transform magically into someone new in order to do right by himself and others. And so he has to consciously determine, once again, to do better, be better.
The message is: change isn't linear, you're going to fuck-up, and fall back into old patterns. What matters is trying every day to do better together, and be better for one another, than you were the day before. That is the meeting point all three sides of the royjamiekeeley triangle were heading towards by the end of the episode.
So yes, it was rushed, because no one gets much screen time in a finale (and the overarching issue with this season anyway is god awful pacing. The last three episodes could've easily been the second half of the season, while the first half of the season was stretched out and largely extraneous). And yes, I would've liked a more thoughtful follow-up conversation between Roy and Keeley or all three of them. My biggest issue was that we didn't get to hear Keeley's voice hardly at all. I would at the very least have liked to have seen her setting them straight at her kitchen table, because turning both of them down signifies very important growth in her, too, and I would've liked exploring that more explicitly. So it wasn't perfect. But I still liked it, I really did.
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momentomori24 · 3 months ago
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Keiji is a character that I'm pretty sure every one of us can recognize is an absolute weirdo (ok maybe some are too hard on copium for the "weirdo" part) and sketchy as hell, but thinking about everything he's done it really feels like he's so much shady and ruthless than we give him credit for. So here's me bulletpointing some the moments that I haven't seen too many talk about, a little theory throwing his status into question and addressing the massive elephant in the room that almost everyone refuses to acknowledge. If there's something else you feel I missed or wanted to evaluate on, do leave it in the comments.
[Also, disclaimer: I will be discussing Keiji and Sara in a romantic light near the end of this post, so if that makes you uncomfortable please proceed with caution or skip entirely. This should go without saying but for my own sake I will say it anyway-- No, I do not condone their relationship in real life. No, this is not meant to be "shippy" or endorsement of any kind. This will simply be pointing out their dynamic as another example to prove the whole point of this rant. But if someone else does ship them that's totally fine. Fiction doesn't equal reality and if you harass a real person over fictional characters you will not see the light of heaven. Be civil, please and thank you. My block button is rated E for Everyone and if anyone decides to ignore the warnings and be an asshole I won't hesitate to use it. Thanks for listening. Disclaimer over.]
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*Being a murderer.
I feel like I should start with the most obvious and undeniable. I don't think this is debatable to anyone here. Mr. Policeman may have been an accident and kinda confirmed by Midori to have been set up, but he still shot and killed an unarmed man in a moment of panic and recklessness. Even putting that aside, there's no denying that he killed Megumi in cold blood to get out of his debt to her and covered it up to the group to preserve his credibility. Regardless of what you think of Megumi, he has no excuse here. Not only is he one more kill away from being a serial killer, he's the only participant in our group that has actually killed people directly aside from Alice. Another reason why I bring this up is cuz something that completely flew over my head is this:
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At the start of the game he had the audacity to complain about not having a partner or someone he knows with him like Sara does as if he didn't literally let Megumi get ripped apart by chains probably not even an hour ago Keiji what the hell--
*Throwing Kanna under the bus repeatedly.
Despite positioning himself as a protector and someone to rely on, he's far from above putting their youngest members in danger. Next to voting for the fourteen year old girl to die, he had the great idea of letting said fourteen year old be the one to babysit their biggest liability. Up to the point where they would stay in the same room both day and night. While I absolutely 100% trust that Sou would never EVER do anything to her, Keiji had no guarantee of that when he send her off. Hell, he literally just got done accusing Sou of setting Joe up to die (which I don't believe almost solely based on the fact that he said it, more on that another time maybe). He knew Sou was bad news, and openly acknowledges how adults can be terrifying, but he did it anyway. The dubiety of throwing the already traumatised little girl to keep watch on what they thought to be the most dangerous adult that had manipulated her once before is not lost on me, and that he didn't take any responsibility for her afterwards isn't lost on me either. To be fair, the Sou and Kanna thing doesn't just fall on him, it falls on everybody (Alice gets a pass because he actually swapped out with Kanna to watch Sou for her), but he was the one with the final say on the matter and who encouraged her to take the role despite Reko's rightful protests. The fact that he also voted for her to die in the Main Game, and is the only adult to do so, doesn’t help his case.
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*Attempting to frame Sou knowing Reko was actually responsible.
While you could argue he was trying to cover for her since he knew why she did what she did, trying to pin this act on Sou to cast more doubt on his is extremely shitty. Never mind the blatant corruption and the irony of a supposed man of the law abusing his power to knowingly frame an innocent person (in this situation at least), and him sowing more seeds of confusion and resentment within an already rattled group, and giving Sou legitimate reason to be suspicious of him (and by extension Sara)-- this makes it so difficult to trust him after realising he's done this. Literally every time he accuses someone of being or doing something suspicious (mostly Sou), I always have to think in the back of my head if he’s telling the truth or just telling a blatant lie. He's shown that he's willing to not only lie to cover for himself, but to lie to delegitimize someone else. And Sara never caught onto it (Sou and maybe even Nao likely did tho). She never openly acknowledged it-- No one did. The complete lack of mention of what he did here makes this action quite missable. Hell, I didn't even catch it the first time. Has he done this before? Who else has he lied about? Who else would he lie about? Who else would he knowingly pit against the group? You don't have to wait for that answer, because I will provide an example later. And with "later", I mean now.
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*Casting suspicion on Gin before the vote while hiding the fact that he killed Megumi.
While it's not as blatant as with Kanna, there are two instances where Keiji shows a readiness to either put or leave Gin in harm's way. The biggest one for me is in the Main Game. Like, how dare you. That is a furry child, sir. This kid’s like TWELVE. Even though he makes a valid point about calling out suspicious actions to clear them up so we can all trust each other, casting doubt on Gin of all people right there feels pretty screwed to me. This was before the preliminary vote. His words could’ve very well gotten Gin voted for if he couldn’t disclose why he did what he did for whatever reason and therefore being unable to clear himself from suspicion. It’s even more fucked when you realise that Keiji has literally murdered his partner and is currently planning to get Sou killed while giving this whole spiel about doubting others so that we can believe them and pointing the finger at a little kid to make an example to the group. But when Nao, Sou and Sara call him out on his suspicious actions that could rightfully damage his credibility, he tries to shut them down completely. My brother in Christ, you brought it on FIRST (don’t get me wrong I’m very much aware he didn’t really mean the whole “trusting each other” bit but come on dude)--
Speaking about not meaning what he says:
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*Letting the group think he’s Ok to vote for knowing he’s the Keymaster.
This kinda got to me because I thought this was Keiji actually being… vulnerable? Accepting the consequences of his actions and allowing them to vote for him in their distrust without protest even tho it could cost him his life, maybe. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I can’t remember a lot of times-- or any times, really-- where Keiji has willing put himself into the line of fire, at this point at least. He always finds a way to keep himself safe, give himself insurance, and I thought that this would be the one time he doesn’t do that. But this feels so ominous looking back knowing that he was the Keymaster the whole time. That our distrust and betrayal and his resignation to it all didn’t matter because he was going to be safe no matter what. That he knowingly allowed us to assume that he was a safe vote because he didn’t want his plan to kill Sou to be ruined, which narrowed down choice of people we can safely vote for even further. That this action is ultimately the reason why Sou and Kanna were our only options to kill off in the end. If he had admitted it there, we could’ve found someone else to vote for so our final options could consist of three people, not two. But he didn’t, and the rest is history. There’s a lot of things he’s done I can’t get over. This one ranks pretty high. The second Main Game is already a huge sore spot for me for obvious reasons; knowing that a lot of the things that happened were due to his inaction where it truly mattered and activity in all the wrong places doesn’t make me fee any better. He didn't say he was a safe vote-- he didn't lie-- but his words carefully omit that voting for him means a total party death, something he should've stated then (and before this, really).
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*Leaving Sara with the sacrifice card.
Despite making a big show about “always being by her side” and being her “reliable policeman”, he chose to look away when she was in real danger. He attached himself to her as her right hand man, made her shoulder the responsibility of being the leader, constantly manipulated and flattered her to win her trust and gain her favour-- but when she needed him the most, he basically left her for dead because it was the most beneficial to him. Keep in mind that not only did he know about her getting the sacrifice (he was also the sage so he'd have seen the trade happen), but he had the tokens to help her get rid of it. But those tokens weren’t for her life. They were for his. He used them instead to give himself the Keymaster as insurance for the Main Game (the Keymaster he stole from Sou/Kanna most likely to buy Sara’s trust btw). His desperation for survival outweighed his sense of obligation to keep her safe, and that’s the most subtle yet transparent he’s been about his selfishness. What makes this so much worse is that Keiji is our support character. He’s an ally, and our closest one at that, to the point where Sara burned her hands in a futile attempt to rescue him and signed her life away to save his. And yet his loyalty and protectiveness pale in comparison to other characters. Compare his actions to Sou’s: one of their many parallels and similarities is that both their girls get hit with the sacrifice card. As we’ve established, Keiji was fully aware of Sara being send the sacrifice by Sou, had 50 tokens ready to go and chose to secure his own survival than save her life. Kanna ended up doing it instead, attempting to trade the card off Sara with Sou realising what happened immediately. And what does Sou do? Completely bend over backwards trying to keep her alive. He lied about being the Sacrifice so the others wouldn’t suspect Kanna of having that role, meaning he could try gathering vote for her without anyone seeing his true intentions. He tried to stop her about coming out with the truth of what she had done so she doesn’t sentence herself to death. After everything he did to survive-- after how much he lied, how much he schemed, how much he hurt, and how he had thrown himself away to replace everything that made him Shin with the man that had traumatised him years before the game began to scrape together even the tiniest chance to survive-- he threw it all to the wind and was willing to let it all be in vain if it meant she got to make it out of the Main Game alive. The worst part is that Sou had never intended to make it through that Main Game. He confessed to already knowing that Kanna would choose Sara over him if she truly had the Sacrifice card. Yet he still did what he did all in the hopes that she could win. Because it was all about her survival first, not about them surviving together.
It also gives a different context to Sou's panic and him stumbling over his words trying to come up with any argument to get them to stop. At first I thought that Sou was afraid for his life. Which would make sense-- Keiji and Q-taro set him up to die and seemed pretty adamant on having everyone voting for him to get it all over with. But he was already prepared to die the minute he realised Kanna traded with Sara. So it means it wasn’t his life he was fearing for here-- it was hers. To him, if they voted for him there, it wouldn’t have just been his end but hers too. But we know that Kanna isn’t the one who has the sacrifice. It’s Nao, and considering how the Main Game can end either or both of them dead, I wonder if he regrets not having given up there, not letting Keiji get away with that shitty stunt he pulled knowing it would’ve at least guaranteed her safety than leave her fate in hands of a girl with enough reason to kill her. Ignoring the sounds of my heart shattering into pieces for the 100th time thinking about the Greenblings, it’s so fascinating that our biggest rival and most distrusted member has a greater sense of loyalty and responsibility for his ally than Keiji has for his own. Sou can be a liar and manipulative and selfish, but for how unpredictable he is something I can always trust is his love for those he holds dear (Kanna) and general desire to protect our most vulnerable (Gin). Sou loves Kanna, and so he’s fine with protecting her even if it comes at a price he never wanted to pay. Keiji surely cares about Sara, but unfortunately that is something I can’t say about him-- at least at that time (also the fact that Sou ended up taking more care and responsibility for Kanna despite Keiji having been the one to throw her on him in the first is so ironic).
*Continuously pushing Sara to take on the role of leader.
I think one of Keiji's biggest failures in the game come from his treatment of Sara despite positioning himself as her most reliable ally and her partner. From the very get-go, he was very adamant of making Sara be the one to shoulder the responsibility of the group. He, along with Joe (he didn't do anything wrong here), pushed Sara to be the Challenger during the Russian Roulette, despite Q-taro and Kai being readily available. He made Sara be the one to interrogate the suspicious convict while distancing himself from the situation. And he encourages her to lead them through the Main Game, lets her make the choices that steer them all forward and as a consequence take the fall for them as well. Rather than take on the role himself, or let another adult take it, he places his full trust in her and makes her shoulder everyone's weight so he doesn't have to. And he can see the effect it has on her: having horrific hallucinations due to the immense guilt she feels. But having Sara as their leader gives him a greater shot at survival and helps his credibility, so even though he tries to provide her comfort he still continues to keep her in that role. Again, the high schooler taking responsibility for the adults falls on a lot of the older people here, but Keiji was the one who kickstarted it rather than just go along with it like everyone else had. Gin, Nao, Kanna, Reko and even fucking Sou to an extent all have moments where they take the burden off her and relieve her of that pain she shoulders all the time (or at least try to). I need Keiji to take more responsibility for both the group and for her.
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*Pitting Sara and Joe against each other.
This is just another example of the previous point. This isn't as bad, and I could give him the benefit of the doubt that this might have not been intentional, but it's something I want to bring up regardless. I'll be the first to say that Keiji wasn't wrong here. Prying into everyone's votes is a very bad move, especially since no one knew that Mishima would actually die (it was introduced as a practice round, after all). I agree with him, Joe was being rash, but instead of leaving the conversation there, he decided to throw Sara into it to pick a side. Which is... not good. He already won the argument and already had Reko on his side. Bringing in Sara could not only make Joe feel worse and potentially strain their relationship (especially if she rightfully chooses Keiji's side like he was expecting and hoping for), but just puts Sara in the spotlight during something she doesn't want to be part of. While there's a chance he might've done this because he know Joe is more likely to listen to her than him, he should've known better than that. It again makes her take the responsibility of giving the final verdict that would've otherwise gone to him.
*Asking Sara to take responsibility for his life
I've got nothing other that the grown adult swearing his life to the grieving, unstable teenager to take responsibility for while asking her if she'd die along with him is weird as heck. Keiji's said weirder things prior to this, but this one is a different weird. I think Beanieman's post mostly echoes my thoughts on this on, so I'll link it here for this point. This part kinda bothers me:
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He shouldn't be encouraging her taking on anymore responsibility than she already is. He knows that the deaths that happened under her leadership haunt her. He knows that she's very much unstable enough already, to the point where he takes baby-steps to avoid triggering her trauma over Joe. He positioned himself as her reliable partner, her rock to lean on (quite literally sometimes). We see first hand how emotionally dependent she is on him. If he died, it would destroy her-- she'd destroy herself over it. He knows this (or should) but he still does it. His disappointment and dismissiveness when she understandably rejects him makes it worse. The guilt of potentially not living up to his expectations is not what she needs.
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*Potentially working for Asunaro
This is more ambiguous than everything else here and more a theory than anything but it's been on my mind for a long time that Ranmaru might actually be onto something here. We know that Asunaro has a strong hold on the police. Midori was able to infiltrate the force, and they were able to get rid of Mr. Policeman for looking into the corruption going on, first having Megumi fire him and secondly getting Keiji to kill him by planting false info about the suspect having a gun. Megumi was also able to get Keiji off the hook for murder, which I believe Asunaro had a hand in too (I theorize this might've been her wish). There's also Alice, who was arrested and sent to prison despite the fact that he (legally) didn't kill anyone since Midori was a doll. The police are connected to Asunaro-- by extension Megumi and extending further potentially Keiji.
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Something I've seen someone rightfully point out is that neither of the options you're given to say in response to the accusation... actually deny it? Both choices dance around answering directly, which is suspect as fuck. If Keiji truly wasn't with Asunaro, why not shut that theory down immediately? There's no benefit to answering anything but "no" when he's innocent, and he's lied straight to people's faces for less. So why not just debunk it? I think it's cuz there might be some truth to what Ranmaru was saying here. The biggest reason I think this is because despite the fact that Keiji quit the force, he and Megumi were still associating with each other years later. They were kidnapped together and partnered up for their first trial. One missable piece of dialogue is Keiji admitting that he was with his partner-- or rather a "coworker"-- before getting knocked out.
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That slip of the tongue and backtracking makes me believe this part to be true. Him switching from "my partner" to "a coworker", which is a lot more distant and impersonal, makes me think it's got to be Megumi. However, I don't believe that Keiji would wanna keep in touch with her after what happened willingly, so I can only imagine that it's due to that debt he has to her. My little game theory here is that after the shooting, the debt he owed her was a forced recruitment into Asunaro. It's the only thing I can imagine he meant by "the worst kind of debt", a debt he'd literally let her die for to get out of. And if this is true, then it could also explain away his instant attachment to Sara, since he'd know beforehand that she's someone he can depend on due to her having the highest chance at survival. Maybe he already knew about her beforehand, one way or the other. We know Hayasaka did (which I think we as a fandom moved on from way too fast btw). Kai and Sou did too. There's always a chance. And unlike Sou's victory rate and Midori's favourite number, it's not zero. One person made a comic about this idea I recommend checking it out, it's tastefully unsettling. But still very much unsetling and uncomfortale. Be warned that it's also Keisara-centred, so if that makes you even more uncomfortable they did the job right you can ignore it. Proceed with caution or don't read if you don't like.
*Being a predator
I have been waiting so long for this one XD For context: a while ago I made a longpost discussing the sanitisation of soushin and this kind of toxic attitudes in fandoms regarding "problematic content" (ships, characters, shows, you name it). In it, I mentioned that it's not only soushin that receives this treatment but a certain other dynamic too. It's not a rainy day, however this has been way overdue and if I don't get this done now I never will.
Something I've seen a lot, and I mean a LOT-LOT is this notion that Keiji acts "like a father" to Sara and that their relationship is a completely platonic father-daughter bond and that he's the resident dad of the group? Like, it's cute, but that's not at all what their relationship is. At all. Not even a little bit. We called Sou and Kanna siblings before the Greenblings reveal. The difference is that not only does half the fandom think this man is gay, but he's only ever been protective and caring and loving without any romantic intentions towards Kanna ever. His title as her brother was deserved, based on the genuine affection and platonic protectiveness similar to that of Alice's. Keiji has made advances tho, on many occasions, and his flirting is repeatedly acknowledged by other characters. Namely Sou and Reko.
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(Sou grills him for being a creep every chance he gets I love him XD) But yeah, these are not the type of reactions and comments you receive when being a "father-figure" to the teenager. You get all this when you hit on the teenager. Which he does all the time by calling her "cute" every time she asks something and his "cute little detective", swearing himself to her by saying that "he's always on her side" or something like that, asking her if she'd die alongside him, repeatedly claiming or insinuating that they're on a date, or ""having a moment"" and going to ""take the next step"" when in private (*cough* groomer *cough*)-- you name it, he likely said it. He's a walking-talking ladykiller machine and teenage girls aren't safe, apparently.
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(Quick note: The dialogue for the Russian Roulette one is a tad different now. In the new translation he says "cause you're so darn cute" now. I dunno if that makes it sound any less weird, but I felt like putting that out there. What I'm also putting out there is that according to the trivia he calls her cute 8 times throughout the game so. Yeah. *Cough* groomer *COUGH COUGH*)
Like, who tf says this?? Especially that last part 💀 Even if you wanna die on the hill that these are supposed to be "jokes" not to be taken seriously, we should all be able to agree that the (ex)police officer in his late 20s jokingly hitting on the high schooler he follows around is still weirdo behaviour at best and down right despicable at worst. The fandom seeing lowkey predatory/inappropriate behaviour from a figure of authority persistent for almost three entire chapters and dismissing it as "fatherly" and "platonic" is, well, concerning. It's very concerning. If your dad acts like Keiji, you should probably call the police. Unfortunately for Sara, Keiji is the police. And considering this guy got away with manslaughter, I don't think said police would do anything anywho. But yeah-- he uses flattery and flirting to distract her from prodding to much at him while simultaneously aiming to gain favour in her eyes. He showers her with reassurance of his loyalty and affirmation of his deeper attachment towards her and her alone every chance he gets to cement his position as her closest and most trustworthy ally. He insinuates a romantic partnership between them to others to mostly keep her to himself or the two of them alone (he always does that when they're investigating or going to investigate by themselves). There's such an obvious romantic undertone to their relationship and his actions that it going almost completely ignored in the fandom feels weird to me.
I want to make clear that there's nothing wrong with headcanoning Keiji as a father figure to Sara. It's cute. Keiji didn't have a dad himself, and the closest thing to a father figure he had was the man he shot dead. He's a damaged and hardened guy. But Sara's dad is involved with Asunaro and Gin's is an alcoholic, and in a situation where they both need guidence and protection he tries his best to grow and change, fumbling to become that decent father none of them got to have. It's nice, and a wholesome dynamic for our "characters with memorandum counterparts and only non-determined deaths" trio. But that's obviously not what their dynamic is. There's a difference between headcanoning something and erasing canon and the Yttd fandom leans heavily into the latter. Keiji's a creep, he always has been, yet 90% of people I see always portray him as a Mr. Dad Guy or completely sanitise him to hell when him being creepy and unnerving to be around is what made him such a fascinating character. Just like I said with Soushin, the sanitisation to make canon more digestible is one thing: harassing or insulting the people that explore canon is another. I'm gonna take a bullet, derail this rant and say it-- Keisara shippers get so much shit for literally being right it's so infuriating. Keiji does hit on Sara, a lot. He's creepy and weird like that. Him flirting with her isn't a "mistranslation" or a joke or anything like that; his dubious wording and antics are very much intentional. Yet the only people I see actually addressing and acknowledging that without adding fluff is keisara shippers and other ""proshippers"" only for them to get fucking sniped for it I cannot 💀💀 I have yet to meet a single eastern fan who calls this cop "fatherly". This really feels like such a western issue cuz the majority of the japanese fandom agrees that this man's a predator (correct me if i'm wrong but keisara is the most popular ship in the japanese side of the fandom, right?). Then again, eastern fandoms are more chill over there when it comes to separating fiction and reality in general anywho.
*Yeah, I think I'm done with the Keiji slander. Yay. Time to unceremoniously end this.
There's more to say about that, but this is a Keiji post, not another shipping discourse post (although it's hard discussing Keiji's predatory behaviour without bringing it up too). Before I do spiral from the original point, I'm going to try and reach some sort of conclusion here. While I did spent the majority of this post just reading Keiji to filth, and am very salty towards him in particular, this was not just to rake him through mud for my own sanity (tho it's part of it XD). Keiji's character is that he started off as someone who wanted to do the right thing, someone who wanted to be good and moral and protect others by joining the force only to kill all the progress he made along with the person who inspired him to become an officer in the first place. It heavily contrasts the Keiji we have now, a sleazy, unreliable and corrupt ex detective who flirts with underage girls and is willing to resort to the most bankrupt of decisions to save himself. A man that has long lost hope of his wounds healing that he lets them fester and his rot spread onto others. And while I headcanon Keiji to just inherently be a piece of shit, his former self tried his best to be genuinely good before he became so convinced he can never be better that he made peace with his shittiness in the end.
With all this I wanted to highlight some the shadier and bankrupt things he's done that I haven't seen much discussion around and refresh myself on them before the final part. Both so no matter how emotionally dependent and therefore rose-tinted Sara is about the man I don't forget what he's actually like and what he's done while also being able to appreciate how much he's changed for the better. Some of my favourite examples about how he's changed are these:
Before the second Main Game Keiji was willing to let Sara and Kanna die because it was the most beneficial option for him, but in Chapter 3 he takes the on the role of "it" from Kanna and refuses to tag Sara when he thought he was gonna die after failing to beat Midori.
Actually showing more sympathy towards Sou after the Main Game. He was very mean about dismantling his pretence of a cold front to Kanna's death, don't get me wrong, but he showed a lot more consideration and understanding for Sou's feelings and acknowledgement about his active role in it than he ever had beforehand.
He was genuinely fighting for everyone to survive the game, not just himself. While Keiji would prefer everyone making it out safely, he has a tendency to guarantee his own survival first through any means necessary. His plan to corner Midori in the banquet could've cost him his life if it weren't for Q-taro's final stunt, yet he still reassured Sara to save Gin even tho it could've resulted in his execution from Meister potentially finding him guilty of violating the rules.
Him hugging Mai and trying to be more cheerful was cute as heck. I'm sorry but him showing more vulnerability around his allies and being less closed off in a way he hasn't been before is something I'm very head empty about. That he was hugging and interacting with Mai without making any unwanted advances or ladykiller jokes and generally just having a more friendly vibe was nice. It makes his creeping on Sara more unfortunate, but I'll take what I can for now. The bar is in hell.
And that's it, I think. Overall, I hope they do address some of his actions here in the final part or make them have an impact on his and Sara's relationship. Especially that Asunaro part. The person who wished for Sara to join the death game is still unknown and so is Keiji's consent form wish (same goes for the Dummies, Hinako and Megumi), so I'm curious if they're related or not. If he's going to go down an even darker path or redeem himself as much as he can we'll see when the final part drops. He has the potential to go both ways. This is going to be kinda awkward if the next part reveals him to have been a decent guy all along, so hopefully that doesn't happen. Please be morally bankrupt, man. This post didn't end up the way I wanted it to, nor bring up as many points as I would've liked, but I know I won't finish it if I went full perfectionist on it (I already spent months on this writer's block do be a bitch) and it's looking kinda long already. Hopefully it's still decent enough as is right now. I'd like to say that this is my apology for the last longpost I made, but I brought up one of the most controversial and hated ships and traits of Keiji's character and defended them, so maybe I shouldn't 🙃 Anywho, hope you enjoyed and cheerio.
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lai-mar · 7 months ago
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I think. For me L+M is another example of a male+female pairing that seems a little too straightforward to ship in canon and hence some fans view it as “boring” and “low hanging fruit”, and as a result the ship is less popular despite having canon crumbs that you can interpret in a shippy way. So the ship being low hanging fruit turns around? In canon they have a strong friendship and lots of moments, and that’s what I like them as, friends (and they are canonically friends). Shipping these “straightforward straight pairings” can be a bit squicky (because I tend to think they are more interesting nonromantically) but it turns out in the end I will blatantly blaze through my squicks because I am desperate for content. And also because shippers actually care about them and their bond.
However, for these pairings people SOMEHOW usually impose a familial interpretation (siblings, in-laws) even though they are not related in canon either by blood or marriage. It’s more acceptable in DM because F/M certainly gets a lot of crumbs but it also kinda makes me salty to see people reduce L+M to being in laws only, like their only connection is through Falin, and that is just plain wrong. I have seen so many male+female pairings that get stuck in the fanon “sibling-coded” area and it’s like… guys it’s okay to not like them as a ship and not make them siblings. Guys. Not every kind of love has to be romantic or familial. I think sibling coding is fun and all that but sometimes it does feel like a “gotcha! I totally do not ship them because they’re like SIBLINGS to me and if you ship them you’re WEIRD”.
L+M would still be funny if it’s the fanon “lesbian elf teams up with her gf’s autistic brother and they squabble but work together to save the day” but canon L+M just drives me crazy because they obviously develop a bond outside of the other people they love, and they’ve basically known each other for two years only which is short even for a tallman lifespan, let alone Marcille’s. Actually I think what really gets me about L+M is that every time they get a moment that can be interpreted as shippy (eg. succubus, M wearing the dress in the Golden Country, even M knitting in the room with L in the Kensuke extra just like her mom used to do with her dad), there might be a few blushes and nervousness, but they quickly return to the status quo of being comfortable and physically affectionate with each other. Which you can interpret them as not seeing each other romantically, in deep denial, or they’re just so comfortable with each other that they don’t need to define their relationship, they just are.
Tbh the widespread DM fanon did mislead me a bunch, I thought we would get obvious F/M shipping or even confirmation after the bath scene but nope. I thought L+M would kinda stay the way they were pre Ep 11 and have a fun back and forth bit noooo they had to go and save each other and learn about each other’s deepest desires. I was shocked that they weren’t being discussed on such a widespread level considering how much screentime and importance they both get. Saw someone say “the romance between F/M is the catalyst and main plot driver” and I want to bang my head against the wall. DM has ship crumbs for a ton of ships but nothing has ever been confirmed canon and I’m happier because of it and it’s fun to explore.
I would say L+M needs better PR but honestly just read the manga, it does all the PR lmao. I can forgive anime onlies but if you read the manga you surely cannot ignore the elephant in the room.
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silviakundera · 5 months ago
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The Double ep 15-16 reaction
I'm glad they added another flashback of her brother and included his escort friend from the novel. Minor character and a small tragedy but it humanizes him for me. He was just a sincerely nice guy who wasn't kind to her as an aim to possess her, but because he was a good person. And so she never forgot him. She thinks he forgot her - only to learn he never cut ties with her; he was killed. Little tragedies, small people that royalty step on like ants.
To me it feels important that as much as the drama gives her husband depth and makes us sympathize with his situation, it shouldn't allow us to forget that her family was destroyed. We didn't see it happen, like the shovel to her head, but her father was his teacher. Xue Zhao was his brother in law. Their names may no longer matter to anyone else, but our protagonist will not allow them to go unavenged. [lil note from the novel I liked - novel!Duke Su being perplexed and unable to figure out how FL is getting this successful escort to assist her, when even he seems to respect how impossible it is to get a handle on the woman - because she has a secure position as a popular escort & enough money & is satisfied being exactly where she is (doesn't want to fight for favor as someone's treasured concubine), independant and unable to be threatened or bribed. so what could possibly move her?]
(Now this is sorta thematically tying in with the backstory drama created for ML with this bandit. ML's general dad was a good person and so he wasn't forgotten by this person whose life he touched, so presumably he'll do ML a favor. FL and ML have turned into schemers and are willing to get their hands dirty; but are aided in their quest by the fact that their dead family had a positive impact on some people who still remember it?? Be interesting to see if this does become a minor theme 🤔)
ANYWAY let's get to the good stuff: Last episode ML started realizing he's catching feelings. This episode FL feels jealousy and isn't shy about it ('can't I?'). We're making real shippy progress here!
He very much still enjoys watching her strut and perform. But the distance between them is slowly closing. That whole drinking game scene was pure gold.
"Are you not upset now? "Huh?" THE LOOKS THEY EXCHANGE AT THIS.
He's entered the play, joining her on stage instead of coldly manipulating from a high vantage point. Her walls are down for a moment and he's not even hiding his bias. Blatant flirting and she has him smiling. Yes, he has 2 agendas here but unlike the last failed 'date' they were playing together, not her in the role of pawn. I love a smart ML. Boy is not gonna fumble this chance to have his schemes AND a woman who's perfect for him.
I found this subplot of FL foiling the Li clan's plans for Ye clan her most clever manuveuring in the translated novel (up to ch 113). Though it's being compressed for time & tweaked, still satisfying to see her outflank the corrupt local government. As well, very glad to see the ML point out that she has a double-motive... to intentionally make the Jiang and Li irreconcilable. (They're not her real family, they're her enemies!) Nooooooo don't have multiple layers to your plans, it's too sexyyyyyy
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marsmarbles · 10 months ago
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Hi, uhm Idk how your art requests work and I know you only kinda ship them but can I ask for a BigB & Grian? It doesn't have to be shippy tbh. But if you don't want to/don't have any ideas to, that's totally fine too. I understand. ^^
Anyway before I go I just want to say, I think your art style is really cute. I wish you luck w/ all your endeavors & a great day!
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Thank you so much for the request and the kind comment! I think I should just make GriB canon in Chained Life at this point lol.
Grian can get real stressed about all the Speaker stuff that’s going on. Though BigB doesn’t know everything(and it’s better if he didn’t, as it would put him in danger), he’s always there for Grian and that’s just so sweet!
I should probably elaborate on my how I want my art requests to work, so I’ll just leave a little explanation here until I make a pinned post about me, what I do, and how I run things.(which I should really get to)
When I get an art request, whether that be a ship, a specific character, an interaction, or something else, I’ll attach my art to the ask. Most of the time the art will just be a sketch, but depending on how much time I have or how inspired I am at the moment, I might add some color. I will not reply or draw for any requests that ask me to draw anything harmful or hateful. I’ll get to requests whenever I can.
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basu-shokikita · 1 year ago
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Kloktober 2023 Day 7
Missing AOTD Scene
I have a lot of feelings for the fact that Skwisgaar was essentially Toki's comfort person in AOTD. I also have a lot of feelings for the fact that neither Toki nor Skwisgaar have any recollection of the Doomstar Requiem events. Lastly, I have a LOT of feelings for the way Skwisgaar and Toki seemed to drift apart in Season 4 post-Bookklok.
So today's entry addresses all of the above. Can be read as shippy or platonic! I just love these two's bond so fucking much 😔👊
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Skwisgaar kept a frown on his face as they passed the mourning crowd. Didn’t even spare a glance at Toki, seemingly unmoved by his stress. He just kept walking, like he was alone and not supposed to take him with him. Glaring at anyone that dared to peek at him, Skwisgaar’s steps turned faster when he saw the restroom sign.
“Gods damn it, Toki.” He muttered after shutting the door behind them. “I alreadies tolds you not to does dat in publicks.”
“Sorries…” Toki had taken off his headphones, gripping them between his fingers. “I forgots.”  His bottom lip trembled with nervousness.
“You keeps forgetting!” Skwisgaar exclaimed and Toki hunched with fear. “It ams okay.” He clicked his tongue with exasperation. “Forgets about it.”
Still reluctant, Toki raised his eyes shyly. “Cans I…?”
Skwisgaar looked away, trying not to seem as annoyed as he was. “Fines.” He accepted.
From the corner of his eye, he could make out Toki’s excited smile before strong arms wrapped around him and he got a mouthful hair that he promptly coughed out of his lips. The clang of the headphones hitting the floor felt distant.
“Thank you, Skwisgaar.” Toki said, with so much warmth in his voice that it was almost melting at the edges of Skwisgaar’s hardened heart. Again.
Unenthusiastically, he placed his palm on Toki’s scalp. He didn’t move it or anything, it just stayed there, like some kind of nonchalant pressure on the top of Toki’s head. Instead, Toki leaned into the touch, rubbing his head against it like an excited puppy meeting his owner.
Skwisgaar sighed. Toki had been doing this a lot ever since they got him back. Which didn’t really mean anything when Skwisgaar only remembered that one day Toki was there, and the other, he wasn’t. One week, Toki wanted to ruin his career and their relationship without giving two thoughts about it. The other one, he was huddling up to him like his life depended on it. 
It was…disorienting to say the least. They never had a chance to mend things up after the Ice Festival. And Skwisgaar could’ve sworn Toki had only grown more distant ever since, hanging more with Magnus or Rockzo or whoever. 
So, how come now he cared? How come now he wanted to spend time with Skwisgaar? Why him of all people, suddenly?
He would rather die than admit it outloud, but Skwisgaar loved Toki. He really did. The little guy was the closest he had ever experienced to opening up to someone. Sure, he couldn’t stand his attitude sometimes or his lack of discipline, but he still loved him and he loved spending time with him more than anybody else in the band. 
And Toki had thrown all of that away for a goddamn solo. For a stupid solo that he flunked anyway. And Skwisgaar was just supposed to forget all about that because, what? Toki’s shitty choices in companions came to bite him in the ass? This would’ve never happened if he just stayed…
His breath hitched upon realizing the direction of his thoughts. He glanced down at Toki, who was now pressing his face against Skwisgaar’s chest and giggling stupidly, lost in his own world.
This would’ve never happened if Toki had just remained by his side. He buried his face in Toki’s mane and shut his eyes with frustration.
Frustration that he cared about Toki so deeply that he was embarrassed for the rest of the world to know. Frustration that Toki had hurt him so badly that Skwisgaar couldn’t find in his heart to forgive him still. Frustration that he couldn’t help but put his own hurt aside to comfort Toki. 
Skwisgaar inhaled, etching into his memory Toki’s scent. Sweat mingled with artificial strawberry scent from the shampoo he always used, musk from his try-hard manly deodorant and just the faintest aftertaste of peach, from the sugar-free gummies he had been munching on earlier. So messy, so...him.
His eyes started to sting, a sudden urgency to hug Toki’s neck getting the better of him. “Don’ts leaves me agains…” He said so low, that he was pretty sure Toki didn’t hear it. “Just don’ts leaves me…”
Roughed up hands on his waist squeezed him, like some sort of reassurance and Skwisgaar felt a knot in his throat.
He had never been great with physical affection but, for the first time in his life, he wanted to stay like that.
At least until his chest stopped hurting.
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jesterofcringe · 1 month ago
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JOYRIDE [Street Racer AU] Shauna Shipman X Reader ★ Rivals 2 Lovers if you squint, horribly inaccurate street racing, im trying my best im so sorry guys 💀 ★
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[i watched like a bajillion videos to try and get this accurate but i kinda hollywood-ified the chase scene so,, idk guys i dont get in police chases in my free time just pretend its accurate for my sake and yours 😭] ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────
You had a somewhat shitty hobby, dangerous and moronic as most of your relatives put it. But you couldn't help it- you were truly an adrenaline junkie. It was all about the rush for you, the thrill of the chase and risk of the adventure. All the good stuff that got your heart pounding.
Maybe you had a few friends that were bikers, but they weren't as into it as you were. Casual riders who didn't see the point in street racing, preaching to you about how the cons horrifically outweigh the pros. They just didn't get it. Nobody understood the way you did.
Well, one person understood.
Shauna Shipman, speedster and thrill seeker, known for throwing caution into the wind and yet still being an incredibly talented rider. You admired her, and would sing your praises if it weren't for the whole "bitter rivalry" thing you two had going on.
Truly, you had no idea how it started. You two always ended up being side by side somehow. Street race here, cop chase there, it always ended up the two of you as you sped through the night and gambled with your lives just for the chance to come out on top. You won some, you lost others, but it usually came out to a draw as you two silently agreed to put your egos aside to avoid getting arrested.
You supposed you'd have to save being good sport for the next meet. At least, that's what you told yourself until you realized Shauna had different plans. Handshakes were slapped away, smiles met with sneers, you couldn't even get in a "Good race" without getting shoulder checked. So you decided to match her energy.
"Not a good loser are you, Shipman?"
"That was unfair- we both know I would've kicked your ass!"
"Whatever makes you feel better Shippy."
"Eat shit."
"You first."
So became the pre-race routine; you'd meet in the parking lot and shit talk before proving your worth on the highway. You actually started arriving earlier so you could have just a bit more time with Shauna, even if it was spent taking turns calling each other mean names.
Because beyond the hostile attitude and aggressive sass you knew it was just a front.
Shauna could furrow her eyebrows and scrunch up her nose but she couldn't hide the humanity in her eyes. The kind you saw when she offered to give you a lift after your bike broke down, or when she gave you her jacket on a rainy day when you forgot your own. Little kind gestures you only seemed to receive when you were alone and she didn't have to raise her guard like a knight standing post.
You weren't quite sure why she was so guarded in public, but you had a sneaking suspicion your feigned rivalry was something of an outlet. Projection maybe. Whatever the hell it was, you knew it wasn't really serious. You just wished there was a way you could've gotten her number when half of your conversations were shit talking.
Shit talking was better than no talking, you decided as you pulled up to the designated meeting spot way ahead of schedule. The meeting location was a gas station parking lot this time, and you had decided you would maybe get an energy drink or some other snack while you waited for the rest of the bikers to arrive.
As you were heading towards the building, you spotted Shauna standing by the gas pumps, tapping her foot to an even rhythm as she re-fueled her bike. You could almost sense her annoyance when she glanced over and noticed you. As a sarcastic greeting you gave her a small salute, to which she responded with a heavy eyeroll.
"You're quite early Shipman. Why is that?"
"Why do you think smartass?" She said as she gestured towards the gas pump, "I could ask you the same thing."
It was then you realized that unlike Shauna, you didn't have a good excuse. In the way back of your mind you knew the reason why you were there was out of your own selfish desire to see her before you were back to pretending you hated each other's guts- except you couldn't actually tell her that.
Shauna tilted her head to the side in a questioning manner as you failed to give her a proper response. After an awkward couple of seconds, you decided it was best to ignore her question as a whole.
"Do you want anything from inside? I'm gonna get an energy drink." Wordlessly, Shauna shook her head no. Despite this, just to be a pest you added on with, "I'm gonna get you bubble gum. You seem like a bubble gum person."
"I hate bubble gum."
"You... what?" The more you dwelled on it, it felt incredibly in character for Shauna to not like bubble gum. And yet you were still surprised, "How can you hate bubble gum? Everyone likes bubble gum."
"Yeah, if you're like five years old." Shauna said with a scoff. A small smirk crossed over her lips, almost making you wonder if she was playing devil's advocate. It didn't seem totally unreasonable to assume Shauna was carefully choosing her words to see what response you would give. If she was, you were completely taking the bait.
"What next Shipman? Are you allergic to fun and whimsy too?"
And so it began, the typical bickering that always accompanied your time together. Arguing over absolute nonsense as if nonsense was your life line. So familiar and yet so distant.
You weren't sure how long the two of you had been caught up in your pointless argument until you eventually realized more bikers had been pulling into the parking lot, most of which seemed to be pulling on their gear and getting ready to roll out. You cursed under your breath as you realized you had been completely distracted by Shauna and wouldn't have anytime to get something from inside the gas station. You were completely convinced she did that on purpose, but you couldn't quite prove it.
You pulled your helmet on as you scurried over to your bike, absolutely determined not to let Shauna have the last laugh. You even made a point to flip her off as you and many of the other bikers began to pull out of the parking lot and drive towards the highway.
The mob of bikers merged onto the highway, most of which hanging in the right lane as a duo periodically flew down the left. You tried to maintain the same speed as your attention went into watching the races speed past. You distractedly watched the bikes whir by, until Shauna waved at you to get your attention. She pointed at you, then herself, and then the left lane. The gesture took you a brief moment to decipher, until you watched as she merged over and gestured for you to follow. Hell yeah, finally.
One final biker remained in the right lane to signal to you guys to initiate the race. As you and Shauna tried to match each other's pace and line up your bikes as best as you could, you looked to your right to realize the other biker was frantically trying to give you a signal- but not the one you expected. They rapidly tapped the top of their helmet before pointing at the on coming highway ramp. You knew that signal well, but it was too little too late as you sped past the highway ramp a little less than delighted to see two cop cars at the end of the ramp.
Oh fuck- it's a raid.
You exchanged a quick glance with Shauna- one in which you thought expressed mutual understanding, but you were quickly proven wrong as you both proceeded to complete opposite actions. You started to slow in hopes that the cops would ignore you while Shauna leaned into her bike and sped up further, zooming down the highway and leaving you in the dust. Shauna revving up was enough for the cops to turn their lights on, meaning you were absolutely cooked seeing how far behind you were.
Only one option, you figured, as you leaned into your bike and tried to catch up to Shauna.
Street lights flashed past as you wove through cars, cop sirens ringing behind you and eventually fading out as you swiftly made your way down the highway and eventually ended up back in line with Shauna. She sat up, surprised, as you nodded at her before giving her a taste of her own medicine and bolting past her. You briefly considered popping a wheelie just to rub it in, but considering the current situation (plus the fact that you were pushing 170 mph) you thought better of it and instead focused on getting away from the cops.
You had a decent lead on them, and signaled to Shauna to get off the highway. You watched in her in your side view mirror- partially out of concern for her safety and partially to make sure she was actually following behind you- and although she flipped you off she complied and merged off.
It was a bit of a higher risk speeding through town, but you were pretty sure you knew what you were doing.
You were forced to slow down slightly as you didn't want to slam into a car traveling much slower than you were. You did your best to maintain a steady pace as you continued to weave through traffic and fly down the street.
Glancing in your rear view mirror, you noticed Shauna take a different turn than you did. You figured she knew where she was going- you did as well, you just needed to be able to make another good breakaway from the cops.
Shauna's sudden turn threw both cops back on your tail. They were still decent ways behind you, but that didn't mean you could completely ignore them. Seeing as they were still laser focused on you, a good sike out would be needed to shake them off.
You knew exactly how to do it, you just needed to time it well.
Up ahead was an old abandoned mechanic's shop. For kicks you used to hang around and explore it when you were a teenager. Since you had, you were pretty familiar with the place. The building had it all- broken down walls, dirty windows, it was even mostly overcome with vines. The perfect hideout.
The best part? It was connected to an alley way, meaning you could drive through it with your bike and no cars would be able to follow. If timed well, you could effectively throw off the cops by making it seem like you had turned a corner. You had done it before, and you would do it now. It worked like an absolute charm.
You knew you had time as the cops were forced to go around the block. Quietly as you could you drove up to the old building, turning off your headlights to conceal yourself. You parked your bike behind one of the large broken down walls before swiftly jumping off and running deeper into the building.
The building was extremely dark, save for the street lights slicing through the windows. You took your helmet off so you could see better because you didn't want to take out your phone light and bring more attention to yourself. Slowly, you crept up towards one of the windows, eagerly peering out so you could try and figure out where the cops were. You could faintly hear the sirens, but you couldn't quite place where they may be. You craned your neck, desperate to see if they were around the corner, when suddenly someone from behind grabbed a fistful of the back of your shirt and roughly yanked you backwards into a dark corner.
It was all too sudden for you to make a move. You barely processed what was happening as they shoved you back against the wall behind you. Before you could shout, their hands clapped against your mouth and effectively muffled the sound.
"It's just me! Shut up so they don't notice us!"
As the voice sliced through the silence, you were able to slowly figure out who it was shoving you up against the wall. It was too damn dark to see her clearly, but the soft moonlight was able to define just enough of her features for your eyes to be able to slowly paint the picture of the girl covering your mouth with an angry desperation.
Slowly, Shauna moved her hands so they were no longer on your mouth but now on either side of your head. Adrenaline from the scare continued to coarse through your veins as your heartbeat rang through your ears.
"They're right down the street. You would've been caught if you kept ogling out the window like that."
"Jesus Shipman!" You stammered, "Why the hell didn't you just tell me to move back like a normal person?"
Your question seemed to answer itself as you were able to hear the faint sirens grow louder from right down the street. From the corner of the window you were able to spot a small red and blue flashing light source, progressively growing with the sound of the siren.
It didn't take rocket science to realize the cops were right outside.
Out of instinct you tried to flatten yourself against the wall to avoid being detected. Shauna tried to as well, though out of urgency and panic she lowkey forgot to get off you and instead chose to press up against you until the cops passed. Her forearms boxed in your head and she shifted a bit so her knees were up against your thighs. She pushed up against you as much as she could while she carefully watched the cop car drive past the window.
As soon as they were gone, the both of you finally acknowledged the position you were currently in. With a heavy blush, Shauna quickly stepped back.
"...Sorry about that."
Impulsively, you almost whistled, but you knew that was shitty and stopped yourself before you did. Instead you decided it was easier to ignore what happened by lecturing Shauna.
"Why did you speed off? We probably would've been fine if we slowed down."
Shauna gave you a puzzled look, "Cops pull over bikers any chance they can get."
"Yeah but we probably would've been mostly fine if we lied and said we weren't racing."
"Are you crazy? When has that ever worked?"
"I'm just saying your little joyride is what got us chased."
"Whatever." Shauna huffed. You watched her scoop her helmet off the floor as she began to walk away. She paused suddenly, turning on her heels to face you again, "...Are you ok?"
You nodded with a small smile, "Totally uninjured. You?"
"Yeah I'm fine."
"Good."
You watched her walk away without so much as a goodbye. You were ready to do the same, but you just had to be annoying one last time before you left for good.
"I totally won by the way-"
"-Oh fuck off."
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