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nereidprinc3ss · 1 year ago

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hii i love love how u write spencer omds🥸

uhh i was wondering if you could write sth based off the song “we’ll never have sex” by leith ross? pls dont feel pressured to write this btw😭😭😭 hope ur having a good day lovely💗💗

hello my love i have no self control so this is extremely long and plotty but i love this song and i hope that this is any good at all crying emoji (i'm on a laptop LOL) enjoy!!

warnings/tags: angst/fluff, fem!reader, negative self-talk from reader, mentions of past sexual coercion/feeling used, mentions of past excessive drinking to combat social anxiety, ive been watching a lot of new girl lately and i think it shows, SO FRIENDS TO LOVERS, happy ending

You weren’t expecting to end up on Spencer Reid’s worn-leather couch at two in the morning, clutching a chipped mug of coffee in your hands as you listen to the sounds of the city from the street below. But there you are, sitting with your legs folded under you, in your favorite dress and first date-night makeup (now bleeding and smudged from all the crying.) And realizing that despite considering him one of your closest friends, you haven’t been to his apartment in a long time. There are, of course, good reasons for that—but you try to push those from your mind.

“I’m really sorry about this,” you sigh, staring at your warped reflection in the glassy black surface of your coffee. Spencer is coming out of the small kitchen, now bearing his own cup.

“Please, stop apologizing.”

You glance up, tentatively studying him from behind the safety of your mug. While he may not have been asleep when you knocked on his door ten minutes ago, lachrymose and barely verbal, he must have been getting ready for bed. He’s clad in patterned pajama pants, mismatched socks, and an FBI crewneck that is just big enough to reveal the collar of the tee-shirt underneath. He’s already taken out his contacts, and you were startled by the reminder that he also has glasses.

“So...” he begins, bringing you back to the present moment, “we don't have to talk about anything, if you don’t want to, but...”

You sigh, watching coffee bubbles swirl like stars in a galaxy.

“It’s fine. Honestly, I’m kind of embarrassed. I didn’t really think, I just... ended up here.”

“Yeah... where did you come from?” he laughs quietly. “Not that I’m complaining. But I recall you not living super close by.”

“No, no. I was actually on a date. Kind of.”

“Ah.” There’s a beat of silence, and ostensibly Spencer is waiting for you to say more, but instead you take a sip from your mug. “At two in the morning?” You nod dully, staring at the labyrinthine pattern of the Persian rug.

“I’m taking it that it wasn’t a very good date...?”

A whoosh of air escapes from your puffed cheeks.

“No it was not. Not by the end, anyway. It actually started really well, which made it even more disappointing when he...” you laugh, but there’s not much humor in it. “Well, when he kicked me out of his car on a street corner because I didn’t want to sleep with him.”

You don’t look to see Spencer’s reaction—only take another long, baleful sip of coffee and ignore the heavy silence.

“I’m really sorry. You... you deserve so much better than that.”

An attempt at a jaded scoff from you falls flat.

“Yeah, well. Tell that to the last three white house interns I’ve gone on dates with. It’s the same thing every time.”

“Have you considered going on fewer dates with white house interns...?” The nervous humor is a thin veil over genuine critique. You shrug, biting the inside of your cheek.

“It’s not just them. Every single guy I’ve liked since I was 15 has been like this. Even my past relationships, I felt like I was almost... tricked into, you know? I mean, these guys, they act all understanding and willing to take it slow or whatever, until you’re in a relationship, and suddenly they’re guilt tripping you so hard and making you feel so obligated to...” you catch yourself just in time, glancing up at Spencer. You’re not sure what to make of his expression. The drawn brow and slightly squinted eyes trained so intently on you could be sympathy, or anger, or pity, or apathy—you look away, not sure you even want to know what he’s thinking. “Sorry. You don’t need to hear all about that. Basically romance is exhausting and since I’ll clearly be single forever I’m considering running away to join a nunnery.”

When he doesn’t respond for too long, you look back up quizically.

“I’m not sure you know what romance actually is,” he says as soon as your gaze meets his, like the eye-contact activated some kind of hair-trigger in his vocal box.

You blink, lowering the coffee cup to your lap.

Says Spencer Reid?

“...sorry?”

He flushes, stammering to clarify himself.

“I just meant—I—I know I’m not exactly fighting women off with a stick—” he interrupts himself with a self-conscious (adorable) laugh— “but... but I have been in love, at least once.”

“Maeve,” you say, gently—trying to shove down bitter guilt as you remember how jealous you’d been when Spencer had first told you about her. “I remember.”

He swallows and nods.

“We never even met—we just talked. All the time. I had no idea what she looked like. But it didn’t matter at all. Because I knew her, and I loved her. Maybe things would have gone further if I hadn’t been calling her from public phone booths, but that wasn’t the most important thing to either of us. We were still in love.” You try to shut out the sharp ache in your chest. Being jealous of the way he speaks about a dead woman is so wrong.

“What I’m trying to say is that romance isn’t solely about sex, or even physical appearance. It sounds to me like you’ve been with a lot of men who don’t understand that. And it would be such a shame for you to write romance off in general before you even get to experience it. You are... an extraordinary woman. You’re funny, and intelligent, and kind, and so capable of being loved. One day, someone is going to see beyond your pulchritude and prove that to you. I hope you let them try.”

More tears blur the pattern on the rug, pooling in the rims of your eyes before spilling down your cheeks in fast, fat drops. Shakily you set the cup down, resting your elbows on your knees and hiding your face in your hands. You sniff once. Twice. Shake your head quickly, attempting to wipe the tears away without further smearing your makeup everywhere.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Spencer breathes, leaning forward but obviously unsure how to comfort you. “Please don’t cry, I wasn’t--I was trying to do the opposite of this.”

“No, I’m sorry! You didn’t have to—you didn’t—I’m sorry. That was way too nice.”

But you're not crying because he was nice.

Someone will love you, but not me. That’s all you can hear.

His voice is a mere whisper when he next speaks.

“I meant every word.”

You take a shuddering breath, allowing yourself a moment of reprieve behind the peaceful black of your eyelids. You can’t be looking at his face when you say what you’re about to say.

“I had a crush on you for the longest time, you know.”

Ringing silence. But it doesn’t last as long as you’d imagined. It’s not as world ending.

“Had?”

The little smile in his voice is like a fist around your heart.

“Yeah. You know what changed?”

“What’s that?”

Absolutely nothing.

“Every time I got super drunk and started hitting on you, you’d just drive me home. And I did it a lot. Like, for months. But you were such a gentleman. It drove me fucking crazy. So eventually I figured you just didn’t like me and I gave up.”

Another stretch of silence. A breeze comes in from the open window, fluttering the curtains and cooling the tears on your face. His response is sad when it finally comes.

“You thought I didn’t like you because I didn’t try to take advantage of you when you were drunk?”

“Pretty much.” You smile ruefully, fingertips still pressed over your eyes. “God, listen to me. No wonder I get treated like garbage.”

“Stop. Don’t talk about yourself like that. Did you hear anything I just said?”

You sniff, looking to the ceiling.

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. It was really sweet.”

More silence.

“But you don’t believe it.”

A bitter laugh poisons the air around you.

“I don’t know. I’m kind of tired of waiting for someone to prove it to me. Just for once, I want someone to be interested in me beyond having sex in the back of their fucking... Range Rover, or whatever. Like, maybe all that stuff you said is true, but there’s no evidence to support it, and I know logically you’re probably right but I can’t help wondering if... if I’m the outlier. Maybe there just isn’t someone for me like that. Maybe I’m just gonna be the sex in the back of the Range Rover girl forever.”

A noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob forces itself from your throat and you bury your face in your hands again, shaking your head.

“Wow, I am so sorry,” you say a little too loudly, “I did not mean to be this honest tonight. Did you spike my coffee?”

“You are not the outlier,” Spencer whispers.

You sniff, lifting your head haltingly to look at him.

“What?”

His voice shakes slightly as he speaks.

“You said you can’t help wondering if you’re the outlier, and maybe there just isn’t someone for you like that. That’s not true.”

“Spencer, those are just words. You can’t possibly know that. Statistical probabilities don’t count.”

“That’s... that’s not how I know.”

Your heart drops as you study his face.

No.

Surely he’s not saying what you think he’s saying.

Surely he wouldn’t do this to you after you’ve just told him everything you told him. You have been harboring feelings for him for years. Since you met. He can’t just spring this on you one night because you’re a little bummed out. If he felt the same, you would have found out a long time ago; he had ample opportunity to tell you. There was a period of months where you practically threw yourself all over him at every chance you got, and he did nothing. So this... this is just cruel—something you’ve never known Spencer Reid to be.

You stand up, trembling slightly with rage and grief and humiliation.

“Don’t do that. Don’t say things that you don’t mean just to make me feel better.”

“What are you doing? Don’t--”

You scoop up your purse, trying to get to the front door as fast as your gelatinous legs will allow. More tears are streaming down your face now and you don’t need him to see what he’s done to you—to see how much you care what he thinks.

“It’s fine. Thanks for the coffee, I’ll see you around—”

A hand around your wrist stops you in your tracks

“Stop. Just... please give me a second to talk, okay?”

With nothing left to give, you turn to him.

“Don’t be mean, Spencer. Don’t act like you liked me too. That makes me feel... so much worse.”

He takes a deep, shaky breath, as if steeling himself. Tawny eyes bore into your soul, and you realize that there is so much sheer nervous energy radiating off of him it’s infectious. Your heart begins to pound as he speaks.

“I’m not doing that. I’m being an idiot, because you just told me that you don’t feel that way about me anymore but... but I do. And I have to tell you now because for six months I tortured myself wondering why you would flirt with me so much when you were hammered and then act like nothing happened the next day. There were so many times I almost told you how I felt but I didn’t and now I am because even if it ruins our friendship you need to know that somebody... that I wanted to be that person for you. I still do.”

Your heart is like an unmoored zeppelin in your chest, bumping against your esophagus and threatening to either burst or jump out of your mouth. You take your chances, whispering so quietly it’s almost inaudible.

“You... you like me?”

“Yes,” Spencer sighs. “I have liked you for a very long time. And I’m sorry—”

Whatever ridiculous thing he was going to apologize for, you don’t give him the chance. Instead you launch yourself at him, capturing his lips in a kiss that feels so much better than it’d ever been in your fantasies because it’s real. You hear his sharp intake of breath, but it only takes a second for him to respond, cradling your face in his hands like you’re the entire world. For a moment, time bends. Years of longing, of buried dreams crash into the present in a brilliant, dazzling explosion.

And then, as quickly as it started, he pulls away. The absence of his touch is like a vacuum, so much worse now that you know exactly how it feels to have his lips on yours, even if it was only for a few seconds. How the hell did you live like that for so long? How are you supposed to live like that ever again?

“You’re not thinking clearly,” he breathes, tilting his head back toward the ceiling like he’s barely holding onto his self control. “You just want someone to comfort you, I’m not going to take advantage of you when you’re in an emotionally vulnerable state and confided in me which is manufacturing a false sense of attachment—”

You grab his wrists, which still graze your jaw.

“Spencer, stop intellectualizing for thirty seconds. I promise you I am thinking clearly.”

“You said you used to like me, past tense—”

“Yeah, I did. Do you believe every single murderer who says he didn’t do it?”

“No, but—”

“Have you ever heard the phrase; a drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts?”

“Of course I have.”

“Then what more could you possibly need to be convinced that I really like you? I already kissed you! What is stopping you?”

Another deep breath is taken by him that seems to suck all the air out of the quiet room. Briefly, you wonder if you’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake. If you really do like him so much more than he could ever like you.

Until he looks back down, eyes so golden-brown in the dim light, so kind and full of affectionate concern as he carefully assesses every square centimeter of your face, looking for... well, you’re not exactly sure what. It’s like he’s extracting every thought from your head, turning them over like sun-warmed stones until he finds what he’s looking for. He smooths his hands over your hair, brushing strands away from your teary face. Finally, after what feels like an eternity of holding your breath, he speaks.

“I just want you to believe what I believe about you. But I don’t want you to have to rely on me or anyone else for your own self-worth.”

“Well, don’t you think very highly of yourself,” you tease with a sniffle. He laughs—it's quiet, but his smile is so bright without even trying that suddenly you can’t remember why you’ve ever been sad. The small miracle of his laughter makes you feel so light, and you realize it has nothing to do with the way he makes you feel about yourself. It has everything to do with who he is.

Once the giggles die down, you tentatively mirror his hold on your face.

“Spencer, I don’t like you because you like me. I’ve liked you for an embarrassingly long time. I liked you enough that I gave myself a severe hangover at least once a week for three months just so I could have an excuse to flirt shamelessly with you.”

A half-sad smile pulls at the corner of his mouth, and he gently swipes under your eyes.

“You never had to do that. I would have welcomed your sober brazen flirting with open arms.”

“Well... do you believe me?” you plead. His amber eyes shine.

“I do.”

“Will you kiss me?”

“If that’s what you want.”

You nod, rising on your toes to meet him halfway.

When your lips meet again, it is sweet, and honest, and slow, and deep. Still, there is no desperation--no race to an imagined finish line, no clash of teeth and pawing hands. It is a kiss for the sake of it—as if it were the greatest intimacy. Not a precursor to sharing a bed, but something bigger than that in and of its own. Something just as worthy and important. For the first time, you think you’re beginning to understand romance. And while you wouldn’t mind if things did escalate, you also know that Spencer knows that’s not what matters right now. Because he actually understands you—he actually cares. He will wait until you understand that you mean so much more than that to him.

To that end, he pulls away, gently supplanting his absence with a kiss to the corner of your mouth.

“It would be polite of me to offer you a ride home, wouldn’t it?” he whispers, like it’s the last thing he wants to do. You bite the inside of your cheek, coming up with reasons not to go. One ridiculous one arises from the depths of your memory that you know he won’t be able to say no to.

“Or... I could stay here, and we could watch one of those nerdy foreign films you’re always talking about?”

A slow, perfect, high-watt smile blossoms on his face, and you know you’ve said exactly the right thing.

“Nerdy? Oh, my darling girl... Soviet-era filmography is far from nerdy. небесная машина will completely defy what you thought you knew about the life of an average Russian villager in the 1950’s.”

“Oh, good. Because I’ve really been meaning to change the way I think about the average 1950’s Russian villager,” you smile, already closing in to kiss him again.

------------------------------------------

epilogue

Three hours later, you’re crying because the life of the average Russian villager in the 1950’s was so much worse than you’d previously thought.

“It was good, right?” Spencer asks as the credits roll over a bleak snowy sepia landscape, leaning back to get a better look at you. You sit up from where you’d been leaning against him, furiously wiping your eyes.

“It was terrible! Why didn’t you tell me that everyone except the kid dies in the end?!”

“Because that’s the whole point of the movie!” he laughs, pulling you back into him. “I’m sorry. I probably should have explained how depressing this entire era of film was outside of the US.”

“And also how long the movies were. I was not prepared for how many five minute long clips of empty fields there were going to be.”

“You’re right,” he ammends, wrapping his arms around you in a way that gives you butterflies and makes you sleepy at the same time. “Next time we can watch whatever you want to watch.”

Time passes like that—you in his arms, watching weak light slowly flood the room with half-lidded eyes and listening to the sounds of the city waking up from the street below, underscoring the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. Thoughts float by like leaves on the ever-flowing current of your mind, and you’re happy to let them pass until one in particular catches your attention.

“Spencer?”

He hums, like he’d been deep in his own proverbial river of thought.

“What does pulchritude mean?”

It takes him a split second to remember the bit of conversation from earlier to which you are referring, but when he does, he chuckles, running his hand over your messy hair.

“Don’t worry about it.”

And so you let it float away.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you

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doodlebeeberry · 3 months ago

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It's OSC gift exchange number 4, baby!!

Thats right folks!!! once again so so excited to host the gift exchange, hopefully itll be yet another fun one! :D

doing things slightly differently this year: if you wanna join you can just fill out this google form! You can also still join by replying/reblogging/dming me with what you'd like if you prefer to do it that way though.

Rules, dates, and details are all under the cut (and also in the form), please read them through fully before joining!!!

Entries close November 28th at midnight (est)!

For those not in the know, the gift exchange is just what is sounds like! Upon joining, you tell me what you like to see in you gift. After, you'll be randomly assigned a giftee, and will make a gift for them based on what they've requested. When the day comes, you'll post your gift and @ the person it's for!

The timeline this year looks like this:

Nov. 7-Nov. 28: Join the gift exchange by filling out this form, dm-ing me, replying, or tagging this post with what you'd like to receive. You can ask for anything--shows, ships, ocs, whatever! Additionally, if there's anything you dont want to see or can't make (ie, ships that make you uncomfortable), you can make a note of that as well

Dec. 1: I'll let you know who you've been assigned and what they'd like! This'll most likely be done through tumblr dms, so if that's an issue do let me know!

Dec. 1-30: You make your gift! This can be anything, from art to writing to music and more! so long as you follow your giftee's request, the possibilities are endless!

Dec. 31: Post your gift, being sure to @ the person its from! Please do not post your gift before this date!!!

Some other things to note:

You can request anything--shows, characters, ships, etc--just please make sure they are osc related! it is an osc gift exchange after all

Asking for OCs is very much allowed, just be sure to provide me with a reference when you join

in regards to things you can't do, please do note that "i haven't seen x show so i wont do it" or "i'll only do requests for x show" are not being treated as valid requests in this context, so i won't guarantee them. also please remember that giftees are assigned randomly.

If your giftee requests more than one thing, you aren't obligated to fulfill all of their requests if you don't want to. Just be sure to do one of them and you're good!

If you need to drop out for any reason, that is completely ok, it happens! just please be sure to let me know ahead of time so I can re-assign your giftee!

On that note, if you have reason to believe you will be unavailable or otherwise unable to post your gift on the 31st, please be sure to tell me so we can work something out! Additionally, if you can't reach out on tumblr (say, your blog gets deleted) you can also poke me on bluesky (@ bumblebeeberry) or discord (thatonegaycat) about it

You can not join anonymously! I just don't think it'd fair to your giftee

While I highly doubt I will need to, I can bar you from participating if I deem it necessary. Again, unlikely, but in the off-chance it does happen I will message you to let you know, pretty please do not yell at me if I do

Not a requirement but when I send you your giftee if you could just let me know you saw the message i would greatly appreciate it!

As per usual I'll be tagging everything with #osc gift exchange, feel free to use it on your gift as well!

That's it! if you have any questions, comments, notes, what have you, please don't hesitate to dm me! :]

#yippie!!! opening it early this year cause i wanna #went with both joining options also cause i wanna. also cause i want folks to have as many options as possible yk #apologies for the tag spam here #osc #object show community #osc gift exchange #object oc #bfdi #bfb #tpot #ii #inanimate insanity #hfjone #itft #bfdia #what other show tags do people use these days #animatic battle #tdos #burner osc

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harrowharr0w · 2 months ago

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i can’t donate, so i won’t answer donation asks. but i will reblog.

omg… a new intro… if youre reading this you are legally obliged to go listen to like a fool by aktari featuring kasane teto right now

STRAWPAGE!! SEND ME THINGS!!

hi im liu!! but you can call me harrow/sua/neo/literally anything you want i dont really care. my pronouns are whatever is most convenient at the moment

drawing requests are always open!! i love drawing requests theyre my favorite thing ever <33 i will only take them by inbox, though, so please send them through asks!

i like milgram, reverse 1999, cardcaptor sakura, bandori+avemygo, project sekai, d4dj, paradox live, little witch academia, witch hat atelier, yotsuba&!, yorushika, phantom siita, alien stage, vocaloid, pink bxxch club, twisted wonderland, k-on, love bullet, fragaria memories and the great ace attorney!!

(side note on some new stuff ive been getting into/have yet to actually read: enstars, tbhk, hypmic, hsr, p:eg)

i love being tagged, feel free to tag me in anything!!

i am a minor and i speak english/some chinese

most art is tagged with #art

spam/random stuff/usually playing new games or reading new things is #liudoesstuff

sideblogs:

@nothauntedsekai (haunted hotel pjsk au… mostly inactive but i try 😓)

@dailyhinahikawa (self explanatory, i feel) (i love hina hikawa)

@0610sualuvr (sideblog specifically dedicated to sua alien stage and kotomappi)

these r my rp sideblogs

friend me on games!!! dont ask why they all have different names idk either

pjsk: 445619513061294088 (sualuvr)

bandori: 15988933 (muu)

re1999: 406955137 (nihenshade)

twst: YcJkuQ9v (sualuvr)

if you wanna friend me send me an ask w your username so i know to accept you!!!!

i’ll put my hsr at some point in the future probably (i barely play)

oh right.. i also have a twitter and a bsky but i only post here🫶

kay byebeybye

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captainzigo · 11 months ago

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Hi everypony!

My kofi is ko-fi.com/captainzigo if you enjoy my art, consider leaving me a tip! this is otherwise entirely a labor of love so,,,

you can also send a request with your tip! but if you choose to do so, please read the disclaimer later on in this post**

my non-art blog, where i accept asks is @snapewife-divorce-lawyer and my reblog-spam blog is @3amgaypotion also i am on bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/captainzigo.bsky.social

that's a bunch of pictures of my oc(/ponysona) Prickly Pear. she's a cowgirl

Frequent/noteworthy questions below the break

**on donations made to me:

i still dont take commissions currently, but if you send a request with a donation, there's a 99% chance i'll do it. and that remaining 1% i'll probably just ask you for a different request. if you send me a request with a donation you are not sending me a commision. you are making a donation, and i might do you a favor as a result. you do not own the resulting art. and I am under no obligation to complete it or to do it in the way that you like. you do not need to make a donation in order to make a request. i talk more about it here

hello mutuals!

If you are a mutual, DM me for an invite to discord server and subsequently to minecraft server

on sending me asks:

any asks you send me should be like Strongbad emails. one paragraph. no attachments. unless you are sending me refs.

in any interactions, please keep in mind that i am a stranger on the internet and act accordingly.

unless I have explicitly said otherwise, you can safely assume that I do not count you amongst my friends. it is nothing personal, it is in fact the opposite.

why am i like this?

i am autistic. i say this because representation matters, but also because i would like to ask that you please be very frank with me. i don't even really need your patience. just say what you mean and we will get along fine.

can you draw my ocs?

you most certainly can draw any of my ocs. i'd love that acually. tag me

on (re)posting my art:

do not post my art on other platforms. do not repost my art period. I don't really exist on other platforms since i deleted Twitter. So if you see my stuff on other platforms, it's not me. except for my bluesky.

transformative works are obviously allowed, at least here in USamerica where i live. but if you want my blessing, please keep them SFW, and try to keep the spirit of the original artwork

is my blog SFW?

im in my twenties. i keep my blog SFW (as i define it) as a strict rule.

i do not consider the fact that sex exists, that some people enjoy it, or some innuendo to be NSFW. i also do not consider swearing, even as tho a sailor might, to be NSFW.

are NSFW interactions ok?

in short: no. while i have no aversion to to that sort of thing, and often actually enjoy it, i keep this blog SFW. the intention behind my art is to be SFW even when it might be skirting the line. in general, and especially, specifically with mlp, i do not wish to have NSFW interactions on the internet. please respect this boundary.

on shipping:

in my opinion, all romance real or fictional should be between people who are similar in age, doing age appropriate things, not closely related, and all with mutual consent. i am not interested in witnessing or interacting with anything outside of these parameters.

on my blue hair and pronouns:

i am a trans woman. i am also bisexual. i am also poly and demi since im listing things. i am out online becasue i know how important it is to know that you aren't alone.

do i take constructive criticism?

NO 🖕👹🖕 FUCK YOU!!!!!!! GET BLOCKED IDIOT!! unless you are a marginalized person who feels i have unintentionally made you uncomfortable somehow with my art or otherwise. in that case i am sorry and you do me a great favor by calling me out. OTHERWISE FUCK YOU DUMBASS IF YOU DONT LIKE MY ART GO DRAW YOUR OWN 🖕🖕🖕🖕

“i hate bronies”…

i don't necessarily hate you if you self identify with that label. i like to make myself off-putting to keep creeps away. i talk about it more in this post: https://www.tumblr.com/captainzigo/744131513208176640/when-i-say-i-hate-bronies-in-my-header-its

brony?

i don't hold a lot of nostalgia for old brony stuff. infact it's quite the opposite. i was a child when the show came out, and more than that i was a girl. i am not a brony.

do i like g5?

i like all generations of mip including the new stuff. gen 4 is just the one i grew up with

why is my header aurora, bori and alice from the best gift ever?

well that would be because i hate them like a mother hates a child. like the sun hates the moon. like sickly victorian child hates the slightest morsel of bread.

on flurryheart:

i often draw stuff about cozy glow x flurry heart. this is with the understanding that cozy glow spends about a decade turned to stone. nullifying the age gap.

🤓☝️ i think you mean effect, not affect

i am dyslexic. i spell stuff wrong all the time and i type weird. please don't bother correcting me. wooptydoo your brain is wired normally. sending you a medal.

on my username:

i've had the same username since i debuted on the internet. zigo is the name of an oc i made that i dont really talk much about anymore. zigo is a fine enough nickname, and at least one person calls me that irl.

#prickly pear #my ocs #pinned post

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rosearcanaeum · 2 months ago

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(Ten) people I'd like to know better

Tagged by: @screechingfromthevoid <3

Last song: Far From Me by Chase Noseworthy is just on repeat. Sad boy Vax and perfect for my range!

Favorite color: it really depends on context honestly. But the most general is soft pink.

Last book: 😅 I've been struggling through Nein Eyes of Lucien for a while.... more honestly its Call of the Netherdeep and Explorers Guide to Wildemount. I truely read far more fanfic than anything else.

Last movie: I watched Night at the Museum for the first time this week. It was waaaaaay better than I ever imagined. I knew it was good and funny. It was also incredibly sincere and I can't get enough of that.

Last show: speaking of sincere, I'm about halfway through Frieren: beyond journey's end. And holy shit! I have never seen any media with a character who views and interacts with death the way i do. Its pretty heavy as shows go but its trustworthy. (I have a hard time with new stuff most of the time. Cr is one exception and this is too apparently)

Sweet/spicy/savory: no joke I've eaten salt before lol. But i prefer combos or all 3. Sweet spicy is underrated.

Relationship status: I live with my queer platonic partner. Its still just buckwild to me. As a kid i hated the idea of living with a partner cuz i didnt want so many aspects of what i was told that looked like. But hey guess what, y'all can decide what your relationships look like. We have separate rooms, are not sexually involved, rarely even touch tbh. And we love each other very much and want to grow old together in a house with cats.

They're touch averse and I'm sensory seeking. My fun Sunday night (out dancing) is their nightmare. But because we are who we are and how we understand and communicate in our relationship we rely on each other for only things that are available. I'll tell them all the dumb shit i see and do on Grindr and we'll sit on the couch and knit together.

Also my brain nearly explodes everytime I realize not only do we do couple stuff, we have couple friends we do couple stuff with. 18 year old me would have never believed you if you told them.

Last thing I looked up: I looked up the caffeine content of the thai tea concentrate I got my partner to see if i could try it. And shockingly i should be able to. Still gonna eat first and be careful though.

Current obsession: I'm pretty spread out rn, unusually. Ive got a sweater im excited about. And I'm on my 3rd attempt at a dorym water bottle sleeve I'm designing. This one should work now. Honestly dorym is probably no. 1 on my list. I shipped that back in exu, along with a bunch of stuff cuz I'm a delightful multishipper. So i feel particularly excited about dorym finally taking off. But also that while dorian was always looking to orym if anything else had come along he was there for the ride. I love robbie so so much. He is such a good character storyteller!

Looking forward to: today im hanging with 2 friends im usually in a larger group with so thats gonna be fun. Looking forward to baking off the beef wellingtons i made for my partner for xmas. And im looking forward to being able to work full time again in the new year. Ive been on part time for health reasons and stayed because i was spending hours on the phone fighting for insurance coverage. Now that both a done i can work more. I love my job and its a particular kind of boredom that i get when i cant work. Lol speaking of, im looking forward to the holidays being over. The office closures normally screw us but now im only working thurs fri for the next 2 weeks and I'll have try really hard to keep busy enough. At least my partner has 2 of the days off with me!

No pressure tags; not sure I can get to 10 and please dont feel obligated but I'd love to see yours (if you havent already. Ive been avoiding spoilers a lot recently so may not have seen it): @vigilante-apologist @standbyyourmantis @soedblackchaos @forestthechonkykitty @corrrvid @local-redhead-bookworm and luddles looks like you did already do this.

Thats all i got. If you see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged!

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yailtsv · 16 days ago

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okay i see the request are closed but i wanted to say it as food for thought before my pea sized brain forgets 🥲🥲 def dont want to make you feel obligated but you can ignore or think on the idea for when they’re open again!! i know you’re busy and i’m soooo excited for new ficsss (i’ve been eating the saylor fics UP)

soooo hear me out- nika as a mom 🤗

i feel like she’d very much so be the proud mom and always want to make sure everyone knew just how amazing she was and how proud of her she is “look at this drawing —- made!” “—— got all A’s” “look at this play she made!” something along the lines of that

i also feel like she would probably be a little strict (growing up in a slavic family is not at all for the weak i would know 😭😭 not saying her parents are bad but like every person i’ve known growing up in a slavic family including myself know they don’t play) she would probs be quick to lose her temper and send —- to their room or snatch up their phone.

im definitely thinking more of like an adopted teen that just fits into her busy life

probs like homeschooled because of the lifestyle

thanks for reading my blabbering ◡̈ just wanted to put my thought somewhere before i lose it 🧚‍♀️

you my friend, have a creative brain 😵‍💫i will definitely write this but only once i finish everything else and reqs are open again, but if you do ever come up with anything else always share it with me!!! i’ll see the ask and if i like it i’ll post it. always!

‼️ posting on tags so they have a chance at seeing this, please don’t hate me

#paige bueckers #azzi fudd #nika muhl #nika mühl #uconn wbb #uconn x reader #yailtsv’s requests 📖

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wmiescieinazumy · 24 days ago

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Heya, you reblogged my psot not long ago so i thought i might as well just answer you like this

The stickers i redrew are from what is called inalink or inatrr i think depending on the game. In the GO, chorno stone and galaxy games, as the story mode goes forward, the characters will send Messenges in a chat and interact with one another.

The chat is exclusive to raimon tho, only a few characters outside raimon send messeges

The emojis/stickers apparently were drawn by Akane in chrono stone i will bring out some of my fave interactions. i will try to remember when some of them happen cus again, they follow the storyline events:

after shindou comes back to the team during the first part of the season:

i really like this one cus it shows how when kariya first joined the team kirino was actually excited a talented defender by his side (oh how things went down...)

do i even need to mention how cute this one is?

last but not last favorite:

hi! thank u sm for answering my question! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ i wasnt expecting to get an answer so fast or at all for that matter (since i just asked in tags instead of via the askbox) so this is a really pleasant surprise, thank you <3

holy shit this is so freaking cool!!! i knew that the og game had a blog run by aki, but i didnt know something similar was featured in other games. the ytber whose gameplay videos i watched (i dont have the games unfortunately,,) doesnt stop to open the blog and read the character interactions there which is a shame (◞‸◟)💧 these interactions are so fucking cute i might cry. i love that they take the time to show characters interact with each other outside the main plot! shindou's "please stop nagging" and kirino's "HE'S ALIVE!" bring me so much joy i love them bad. that's the childhood best friends energy we love to see. akane just gossiping openly about kariya and him coming in like "well this is awkward" KSHFJKDSH PLEASEEEE. its so sweet that kirino was excited for another defender to join the team... too bad kariya was such a little shit at the start. aki baking cookies for tsurugi.... someone hold me.... everyone congratulating shindou on his recital going well SOBBBBB ITS FINE i didnt need my heart anyways!! thank you for sharing these with me!! i'd love to see more of them, please feel free to share if you have any ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝) but also i dont wanna take up ur time, so ur absolutely not obliged to do so! if you know a good place to find more of these i'd love to know about it but once again, no pressure ^_^ i'll probably go watch a playthrough and screenshot it obsessively either way!

thank u sm for ur answer (,,>ヮ<,,)!

#ina11 #inazuma eleven #ina11 go #inazuma eleven go #inazuma eleven video games #postcards {askbox}

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kanako-ketsukane111 · 1 year ago

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KANAKO’S BLOG!!!!!

(this blog is on HIATUS. i might respond to some asks still but they’ll be few and far between)

HI! i’m kanako!! welcome to my blog :3 my mom and dad both got one of these, so i figured i’d get one too. heelllloooo tumbler!!!!

[tag list + ooc under cut. this updates frequently so i recommend checking often!]

———🌷——🌸——🌺——🌷——🌸——🌺———

TAGS

#asks - answered asks!

#interactions - interactions with other (usually uty) blogs

#ooc - stuff tagged with this are me, the mod, not kanako. this is also shown with //

#ooc rbs - out of character reblogs, tags and stuff on these are usually me, the mod, not kanako

#not canon - stuff thats kanako, but not really within the canon of this blog. this will include asks from non-uty characters (with some exceptions), or asks about stuff kanako shouldn’t/wouldn’t know

#my dad! - asks that talk about kanako’s dad, chujin

#my mom! - same as the above, with ceroba

———🌷——🌸——🌺——🌷——🌸——🌺———

ASK INFO

asks are generally responded to within four hours, unless im busy/asleep (12 am to 10 am pst usually).

if i don’t respond to your ask, dont get too upset or anything; i probably just didn’t know what to say, or i forgot and i’ll respond later LMAO. please note i am not obligated to respond to anyone.

if you really want it answered, wait atleast 3 days before resending, and please don’t send the same ask more that 3 times

OTHER UTY CHAR BLOGS FEEL FREE TO INTERACT!!! please do, even! i get nervous so i probably won’t int first but i’d looove to do silly things. personally, i would prefer character blogs unrelated to uty don’t interact often, but they’re not completely banned.

i don’t know much about Japanese culture/kitsune symbolism/etc. i will try to research and portray things properly when it applies in asks but please let me know if i do/show something poorly. i would love to grow and learn more!

feel free to send ooc asks to the mod!

———🌷——🌸——🌺——🌷——🌸——🌺———

OTHER

on this account, kanako is likely a bit older than in canon! 12-14, probably

@mo-the-best-salesman is my friend so there’ll probably be a lot of interactions with it even though it doesnt make a ton of sense LMAO

———🌷——🌸——🌺——🌷——🌸——🌺———

i’d like to keep my main priv for now, but if we interact a lot i’ll probably be happy to share it with you! also, its not that hard to find because i like and follow from it GAHHAHAG

thanks for reading 👋

#ooc #interactions #asks #ooc rbs #not canon #my dad!#my mom!

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easily-distracted-by-fandom · 2 months ago

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hey tysm for reblogging my post!! Also have u read a court of thorns and roses / the folk of the air series? In ur pinned it said u liked Fae :]

Hi! Thanks for sending an ask!!! I havent actually read Acotar but i have heard of it! I dont think ive ever heard of the folk of the air series but I'll put it on my way to long and chaotic reading list lmaooooo.

I genuinly love the fae actually its like one of my special intrests frfr #rules for interacting with them that are plainly stated #cannot lie #actually want to get kidnapped by them

Obliged to give you a book suggestion since you gave me two! If you like Sci-fi and politics and advanced tech that feels like Magic read Janet Edwards! (Hive Mind series is my fav, I suggest you start with Perilous, read the rest, then go back a read Perilous again lolol)

Anyway here any time

suggestions for things to do on my blog under the cut

reblog this by tmmr and you can be added to the exclusive group of one (1) person who im going to draw lol /nf #advertising

Im so nervous for finals actually i wish I could make a deal with the fae-

you know who did make a deal with the fae... Ovi's parents~ read through my worldbuilding tag! /nf

if you (the reader not specifically Ray though they can too, please 0-0 ) send me asks I might give you more of what I have planned (plus the two chapters ive written)

#writing #Tal answers asks #Tal is chaotic #book recs #blog stuff #idk #ummmmm #asks #send me asks

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juicezone · 2 months ago

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Hi, I’m really new to the agere community and a lot of my learning is coming from your blog since it feels like a very safe and comfortable space. Can you explain was a f/o is? I think it’s a fictional caregiver, but I don’t know what the letters stand for. Also, how do I choose a fictional caregiver? It’s just someone who makes me feel really safe when I’m little right? Do you make up stories with plot lines about how they would take care of you? Or do you do things more like head-canons? I imagine you can’t really do it “wrong” but I want to do things the way that the agere community does here! So that if I ever post about it I know what’s what.

Please don’t feel obligated to answer this, for any reason at all! After all, you and I are just people on the internet with very busy irl lives. I would appreciate any guidance, even if it’s just “I can’t answer this but here’s some tags or blogs to look through and ask instead!

Thank you!

hi anon! first of all, genuinely touched that my acc is a safe and comfortable place, like. genuinely, it means a lot <:) (Capri, who is kinda like my system cg actually has an acc @cg-sunnyd too that you might wanna check out! she has a fairly full queue and tags that you might like to check out <:)

feel free to come by and chat any time :D

this might get long, so i'll put it under a cut!

What is a F/O?

F/O stands for fictional other, i'm pretty sure? It can be romantic, familial, platonic, a mix, ect. It's most used in self-shipping communities i think, but it's also common to see referenced/used in relation to fictional cgs and such! (additionally, S/I stands for self-insert!)

There are people who prefer to not share their F/O's and i know that's sometimes a hot/judged topic, but imo, it's a simple block and move on. Tha block button is under-used imo - sometimes vibes just don't match, and there's nothing wrong with blocking! this is YOUR comfortspace. curate as you need <:)

How do I choose a Fictional CG?

you're absolutely right that there's no way to do it wrong (with the exception of ignoring DNI's)

Really, there's no wrong way to go about it! i've seen all sorts of characters ppl see as their fictional cgs, from kids cartoons to anime to horror, ect! and you can definitely have more than one fictional cg, in the same media, in diff media, ect

you can choose any character that you want to be your fict cg, and you can also have characters that are like siblings and partners and friends! I dont go into it as much here bc this is my agere space, but I like to think of bones as my partner too, honestly (and plenty of IRL people have their partners as CGs, so dont feel like you're not allowed to have a character as a fict cg if you also like to imagine being their partner!)

headcanons, little stories, doodles, those are all definitely ways people interact with their fict cg! i also have ocs that i put into stories and situations with Bones (who is definitely my no.1 fict cg. my papa fr fr), so you don't necessarily have to do a direct self-insert!

most of mine involve bones comforting or looking after me, bc i have a hard time doing that to myself, and it makes me feel better and less selfish to imagine him saying i deserve those things. i also use it to help encourage me to do hard things, like coursework, or when i'm really, really not good mentally, i also like to picture him there for me <:)

my friend will came up with the idea of a fictional CG journal and has some ideas posted here abt that !

IMPORTANT!

You're allowed to regress in whatever way makes you feel best. your regression doesn't have to be baby blankets and naptime if that's not you! you can regress and like horror games, or have favourite characters from gorey media (just make sure you tag stuff!). you dont have to be a soft baby - middle regression sometimes gets the short stick of things, but it's entirely just as valid. and you dont NEED a caregiver to regress, but you might prefer it! you might want a fictional cg and not an irl person!

Possible Resources/Blogs to check out!

(I dont wanna really tag, so i'm just gonna put the user names and why i rec them)

@cg-sunnyd - i'll directly line u her tag list, so if u wanna check it out, u can see what she tags as what!

comfort-character-central - lots of posts about comfort chars and/or f/o's and imagine posts

bunnelbaby - more agere related resources than specifically F/O or fictional cg ones, but there's lots here thats useful i think!

wildflower-playground - another more agere specific blog, its a cg blog like capri's is! tags for routine, comfort, ect!

theregressionlibrary - GREAT place to find agere content of a specific fandom or character!

ageregressionresources - another good resource blog!

honestly, building yourself a little circle of friends is like the best advice i have, and just enjoying yourself! this is your space to be comfortable, and you dont have to make yourself a big blog, but your own cozy space <:)

if anyone else has any good resources or such, feel free to drop them in the tags or replies! i hope some of this helps, anon, and that you have a wonderful day :D! (if you're looking for blogs to follow, feel free to send another ask w some stuff u like n ill see if any of the blogs i follow match up :3c)

#tl posts #anonymous

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proselfshipsafespace · 7 months ago

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I only recently got into proshipping but I've been lurking for a while and have been anti censorship forever. I wouldn't really consider myself a proshipper, at least I don't feel like it? but I made an entirely separate blog just for this stuff. Do you have any tips for new proshippers? /nf

my best advice i always try to let people know is that proship is not a verb or a genre, its a stance. and you dont have to ship dead dove to be a proshipper, you just have to be like "yeah you can ship that stuff idc" even if its not your cup of tea. think of kink tomato (ykinmkato or your kink is not my kink and thats okay). even if you do that, you dont always cmhave to call yourself a proshipper. there are other labels out there that are similar to proship but arent.. yk, proship (anti-anti is the only one i can think of currently). if you want to interact with the community, the community is very welcoming and will be okay even if you dont feel as though you align with the term or rven were an ex-anti, as long as youre now respectful to those who do label themselves as such. if youre more on the sensitive side, i really recommend ignoring antis who try to argue with you because 99% of the time, itll just be like a cat chasing their own tail. another thing i recommend is also going through anti tags and blocking people or at the very least try to filter those tags out (i can give examples of tags if need be)

and of course, you are allowed to block anyone you please, anti or not. i always recommend to even antis aswell to block people you dont like or dont vibe with because its more of like a quality of life thing (for me atleast).

at the end of the day though, there is no right or wrong way to be proship. using the label is completely up to you and its not somethhing thats obligated or a choice forced upon you for this entire community is basically built upon discourse that doesnt really matter as much to the real world. thats my take on it though, sorry if this wasnt worded very well i kinda wrote this in a rush so hopefully you understand what im trying to say. anyone that would like to suggest advice for op is welcome to in the reblogs or comments

#🕳️ messages from below 👁️#mod prophet #mod 👁️🕳️#proship interact #proship please interact #proship #proshipping #proshipper #proshipper safe #proshippers please interact #proshippers are welcome

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bellaxgiornata · 1 year ago

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This may seem a little but out of left field on my part, but I don't have many writer friends who I can ask, and there's no obligation to reply or indulge me 💜

I've recently got back into writing (not marvel, unfortunately, but I really admire the way you write) and was wondering if you maybe had any tips? I struggle a bit with, well, dialog and lack confidence - and your works are always so stunningly spot-on and evocative that I kinda just had to ask. Again, no worries if you dont want/have time to answer!

(Also I hope you are well!)

That is so wonderful! I absolutely love hearing that someone has decided to return to writing or is trying it out! I've been passionate about writing since I was 5, so I will always encourage other writers! And I feel so honored that you would even ask and that you feel that way about my writing! ❤ Thank you!! 😭

I will start out by saying I am not going to claim that I am by any means a writing expert, but I will say I did study it (I have an M.A. in Literature, Rhetoric, & Composition) and I've been writing fanfic for a long time, which comes into play with my writing (obviously). But believe me, I am always learning new things and growing myself. Writing truly is a skill and you can absolutely improve it with practice--I've noticed a change in mine over the past year even. Also, what works for me isn't necessarily what might work for you or others, but I can share some things I do myself, or that I enjoy seeing in fanfics/books, or what I think tends to be beneficial. I will say I know my writing style tends to be sparse and dialogue driven/heavy, which isn't necessarily how you or anyone else reading this might write.

And since this will probably be long and not something everyone cares to read, I'll put it below the cut. But as a note, I'm also writing these tips not knowing what you already know or do, so please do not take offense if they're obvious to you and nothing new!

I think the first and most important thing is to know your characters well, especially when it comes to dialogue. So if you're writing fanfic, I'd say study the source material a bit, see how someone speaks, pick up on any mannerisms or particular phrases they might typically use and when they use it if you don't already feel like you have them down. As for any original characters, Readers, or side characters, I'd say make sure you know them, too. Obviously an anxious character for example isn't going to speak boldly--unless there's a reason for it. So you always want to make sure it seems realistic (at least to you and how you perceive your characters) that they would say whatever they're saying in the situation that they're saying it.

I also find it helps to read dialogue aloud once you've written it. Does it sound like something someone would say in real life? Generally people in conversation don't always respond in full or proper sentences, for example. And I personally do this when it comes to writing Michael Kinsella or Frank Castle sometimes (I feel like I've written for Matt long enough that I literally can hear him in my head just fine 😅). They all have a sort of rhythm to the way they speak and I tend to go back and edit dialogue if it sounds too wordy or unlike the cadence of their speech (but that's also me being super particular 😅). But sometimes reading it aloud might help you realize if it sounds awkward or long winded or too clipped. Or maybe even too heavy of a reaction to what was said before someone's response.

Don't forget to change up your dialogue tags!! You can easily search up a list of dialogue tags (sometimes I do because my brain can't remember the correct one I want), but just make sure you're not trying to use them to add 'flair' to your writing, they have to make sense. Good ol' 'said' is truly just fine sometimes, but sometimes a particular dialogue tag makes a HUGE difference.

Sort of going along with that, it really makes a difference if writers have interrupters in their dialogue when it feels right. Don't overdo it, but definitely don't forget about it if you're comfortable using it. So if your characters are having a conversation, sometimes they won't just be standing there speaking, right? They might be doing something--like making coffee or folding laundry--and adding that in as they're speaking really helps set a scene. It's also incredibly great to add in minute details about facial expressions, tone change, body language shifts in the middle of sentences or between them. Because maybe the character speaking is getting angry, or the one doing the listening is having some sort of reaction to what is being said.

Dialogue should also generally always serve a purpose, which should help give you an idea of what to write and when. Is someone confiding something in someone? Having an awkward first meet? Calling to set up a date? Someone says something and it sparks a fight? Two characters are just being silly? There should always be a reason characters are conversing (which is sometimes just helping readers understand a personality trait about someone or learning a key detail about something), even if you have to throw in pleasantries or other things first that make sense before you can get the conversation to that point. And sometimes that's actually a fun challenge to figure out how to get there 😆

Off the top of my head, that's what I can think of for tips on dialogue at the moment. Hopefully at least some were helpful and not just old news to you. Obviously I also recommend editing a fic and giving it a reread at least once before posting, too. I'm insanely particular so I might edit something like 5 times before it goes up (and then still miss things). I just think that's a good way to catch errors or repeat words or ideas that might throw a reader out of the story.

As for the confidence to share your writing (or so it seems you meant, correct me if I'm wrong), honestly you just have to put it out there if that's what you want to do. I mean, don't feel obligated because you can certainly just write for yourself, but I'm not really sure what other advice to give on that unfortunately. I think any writer just takes the plunge. Sometimes a story flops, sometimes it gets a good reaction. Just try your best to not let it get to you if it doesn't go the way you hope (though whoever says it doesn't is lying because it is still rough to put so much effort into something and feel like it fell flat). But know you're not alone on that because there isn't a fic writer I know who doesn't get that feeling. Famous published authors even feel that way. We can't please everyone, but just try to have fun with it and don't take it too seriously at the end of the day. Do your best to ignore the negative feedback because for every one rude reader there will be multiple others who enjoy what you're doing. Try to focus on that!

But obviously, just have fun. Tell the story you want to read ❤

#bella answers #dialogue writing tips #im no expert though #just writing is your best way to practice and grow your skill

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pyrosomatic-metamorphosis · 10 months ago

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genuine question but is there any fandom where a character is well written by the majority. im thinking about fandom culture and the spread of frustration when people dont write characters well but. honestly in all the fandoms ive been in there's only like, a Select number of authors who i trust to write Well, let alone write Well AND In Character. character analysis and writing and getting inside characters' heads are all separate skills (all of which are trained by roleplaying fyi can CONFIRM playing pretend with your friends is good for you). there's been more than once where I've disagreed with an interpretation that others agreed with, and then I turned out wrong. or i turned out right. like it doesnt matter WHO is right it just matters that differences in character analysis exist, so even if you DO write well AND write in character, your in character is still going to be someone else's out of character

there's this sort of. vibe. that to play in the sandbox you Need to be able to make a castle, and if you can't make a castle then you shouldn't bother, and it completely dismisses the idea that youre in that sandbox to PLAY in the first place. there's this Weight of disappointing someone if you can't build something that they like, but that forgets that you aren't there to build them a castle. like, be KIND. if you disagree with someone then please make an effort to do so kindly. i dont give a shit about fandom discourse but there is a reason kids get removed from sandboxes if they keep throwing sand in people's eyes. but if they don't like your misshapen sand pile, then youre not obligated to change it. even if you yourself end up hating that same sand pile later- youre not building a legacy. youre playing. and sometimes the result of that play is out of character drivel. theres a reason there are so many authors and so few who i like to consistently read and thats because everyone is Fucking Around in their hobby space. hash tag brag or whatever but i can build castles. ive built several that im v proud of. ive also dug holes in the sand for fun and then tripped on them when trying to get up. I often dug a hole and then got up and fucking- whoops, its a castle now, and i didn't realize i'd made something to be proud of until after the fact. the whole time while creating shit i was Convinced it was bullshit that didn't make sense. and then other times i was Convinced it was bullshit and then i was Right and i can look back and go. huh. ew. but it doesn't matter what the end result was, because i had fun playing in the sandbox

this wasn't meant to turn into a ramble but i have Feelings about bad art and art that's badly perceived and how public perception can screw with your head and how making art youre proud of is fucking. it's so difficult!!! it's hard!! it's really fun, which is why i try to make it, but i promise you it is Okay to not tryhard creativity. even if you CAN, it's okay not to do it all the time. or ever, even. fuck around find out have fun etc

#NOT a discourse post i am musing out loud #there's discourse goign around the dash rn or i wouldnt mention it #but the past few weeks ive seen a lot of “DONT fucking mischaracterize my guy my fuckign god”#which is one of the most frustrating pet peeve there is #but i think a lot too about little baby me #fresh on her writing journey #and how discouraged i would be if someone pointed out the mistakes id made #i made a Lot of fuckups #and i also think about this one fic where one of the characters was INCREDIBLY out of character #me today would not be able to stomach reading it #but baby me was so ENCHANTED #and it introduced to me the concept that you dont always know the reason someone does something #and it made me read even more #and because of that i eventually found Expert Skill level fics #which introduced me to MANY little tricks and fidgets ive tried to implement #there were so so many reviews on that fic that called it shit or complained about the bad characterization #but a decade later i still think about it #there were several very corny mine/craft horror fics i read #which back in the day would be called cringe #and those were what inspired me to write my first horror fic and now im Enchanted by the whole genre #theres a lot of stuff i dont like to read but i like that other people are enjoying themselves #i dont know how to be succinct i hope my point is coming across well #this ties into my thing where fiction is for you first others later #here are my credentials: bb/h fan since before the elections (hi i was the guy who noticed his lack of armour post elections)#and a cross-fandom comment trend of people going 'woa i can see this happening in canon'#im not talking out my ass i genuinely think its more important to have fun than to write accurate characterization #which. is a more 'duh' and clarifying thing than everything else ive written #but ah well c'est la vie #also also just realized this could be interpreted like that- NOT an attack on people who complain about mischaracterization either lmao #i do that too w friends. this is to reassure people who put pressure on themselves to create things Well all the time

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