#(also long haired luigi my beloved)

[auroraknux]

(Twisted Destinies AU)

EDIT: This post is somewhat out of date now (mostly the part about Mario and Luigi being plumbers and wearing overalls).

When Mario and Bowser have their falling out, Mario doesn't just lose his husband. He loses his son, his friends, his home...everything he has ever known. Needless to say, he initially doesn't cope very well.

When he first moves in with Luigi, he's a broken shell of himself. He barely speaks, doesn't eat much, doesn't even sleep in the bed Luigi set up for him. He keeps losing control of his Firebrand, as his emotions spiral. Luigi does everything he can for him.

Luigi starts getting Mario to eat more. He quickly finds out that pasta wasn't really a thing in the Darklands. Their brother has never had pasta before?! How tragic! He starts making all of his favorite dishes for Mario to try. Pasta soon becomes one of Mario's favorite things in the world.

Luigi starts getting Mario out of the house more and more. He gets Mario to go grocery shopping with him. They properly introduce him to their friends. He gets him to come along and watch when he's doing plumbing work. The townsfolk are wary of Mario at first, given the kingdom's history with him. But as they realize he doesn't intend to cause them any more harm, and see how friendly he actually is, they slowly warm up to him. (It helps that Toads are very accepting people.)

Since Mario isn't ruling a kingdom or commanding an army anymore, he doesn't really know what to do with his time. Luigi decides to teach him the ways of plumbing. Turns out, he's a natural at it. The two find that they make a pretty great team.

And it's not just plumbing that they work well together on. While Peach has been acting as Luigi's mentor this whole time, there's still plenty that Mario can teach him about fighting too. He teaches them new skills and moves, and helps them learn how to control their Thunderhand. The two start creating combo moves. They're so perfectly in sync, like they've always been doing this. They both feel like this is how things were meant to be.

As Mario spends more time with his brother, getting know him and becoming more comfortable around him, his attire changes. He ditches the black, but keeps the red. He starts wearing overalls like Luigi. And eventually, he starts to wear his matching hat too (the one he was found with as a baby, but has never worn until now). Luigi, on the other hand, starts letting his hair down more. Eventually, they only tie/pin it up when they're working.

Mario still misses his family in the Koopa Kingdom, but his brother and his new friends are slowly helping to fill the void in his heart. For the first time in a while, he feels like he's going to be okay.

And then Bowser Jr. shows up on his and Luigi's doorstep

[midnight1nk]

So, this week's episode...

[spoilers below cut]

AY I CALLED IT! To the anon who asked me about it, we are getting a silly episode today :D

I'll be honest, that arc got me burnt out with all the theories and teasers. Sure was fun but man, it's like coming home from a party. Now I can take things easy. Well, hopefully since the Puzzles figurine already dragged me back to my corkboard, I have no idea what the Team's planning smh /pos

why not have a good ol' time today, huh?

(the following is my live reaction:)

hey 4, I did see Gaslight District and dude, it looks like a movie. like how??? glitch surprises me everytime.

oh yea, and also bc james half-jokingly said that he's stop voicing 3 if we didn't watch the premiere. I mean, I already was planning to, no worries there :)

oh the intro, it never gets old

😨 oh... my god... <- my organized ass

"hey, Four" sorry but the fact that they called him 4 🥹 and technically this would be 3's second time. everyone, write that down

(and I did say it too, huh?)

oh, you mean the microwave 4's grandpa (read: SMG1) gave away? /hj

*sonic voice* oh yeah, this is happening!

put me in coach, todo quedara bien chingón después que acabamos. ✨bellísimo✨ diría yo

Oh, maybe next time for your presentation, luigi

...and there it is 😌↕️

how much food did that fridge....? nope nvm. only in the SMG4 universe *cheesy laugh track*

gross, yes, but Mario ate way worse stuff before. he should be fine, I still feel bad though

can we take a moment of just 4 here? :)

done? ok good

wait... was that a callback to the infestation episode?

well, that makes sense

*concerned microwave noises*

OH GOD MEGGY NOT THE HAIR

welp lesson 1, chat: always tie all hair up before cleaning

there we go, one room down! ooh, ramen sounds nice

...wait, say that one more time? "you don't know what me and those chopsticks have been through together"?

oh god.....

Western Spaghetti, is that you?

don't mind me, chat. i'm just going to uh.... be in my pillowfort for a bit

we were so close, man 😔

c'mon bob, you can't keep hoarding like this

well, we found one of the chopsticks

WOAH 😦 Mario really did it... and he might puke, GO GO GO

AAAH HIT THE BRAKES

ooh.....

oh god, it's even worse

4, you already got knocked out cold once, we can't let you go through it again

same, 3 😔↕️ same

hey swag, just. just take the microwave bud. don't mind this.

"The Castle's had a good run." ....i'm sorry, what?

I need to pause this. I need to leave the room. Everyone, take 5.

*40 minutes later* ......I don't. what am I supposed to say?

the Team had Swag say "the castle had a good run, time to nuke it", LITERALLY have him pulling out the IGBP thumbnail? AND THEN gave 4 ptsd flashbacks? just like that???

everything in my core just sank through the ground and into my grave! why, team, why? dude.......

oh, 4 :( *head in hands* I know bud, ik

idk how 4 does it, man. i would've crashed the fuck out

*sonic voice* hey Shadow, long time no see :D

the rats too?!

ok fine, that did get a chuckle out of me

there's the chopsticks, maybe you should store them under your beanie or smth

I mean, Meggy, you've always been unhinged in a silly way ahlkg;kl

THAT'S HOW WE DO IT 👏 LOCK IN

........the frame's missing. "wha?" the boarded-up door, see?

did you really think that I, Ink, would not know every detail about my mortal nemesis, the boarded-up door? tsk tsk, ofc not. Not while I'm a theorist. Ha, working on reference sheets has its use, mhm

AGAIN WITH THE NUMBER 4, I'M ON TO YOU, TEAM

sorry, Swag, no nukey time!

STOP THE PRESSES. LOOK AT 3 DOING A CELEBRATORY HOP:

you did? good.

also yeah, 4 I feel you bud :(

For sure.... *IGBP war flashbacks*

oh the cafe, my beloved. one day we'll see you soon.

uh oh.....

well um.... eggdog's playing with beeg outside, right chat? (for my sake, please nod) /j

Congrats to PlatinumLightJJ for your art being featured at the end credits! 🎉 love the lighting!

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

Man, what an episode, huh? A lot has happened over the past few days, especially bc of the movie, but nothing like another silly episode for our meme show :)

From the looks of it, we actually got a new writer on the Team! Please, everyone, give a warm welcome to Evan Besser!

Lovely to have you here, friend! Not that you're gonna see this, but we look forward in seeing what you will create. While it is our silly little meme show, it has a special place in our hearts because of how much we've connected during its powerful, exciting, and emotional moments. Of friendship, (found) family. Loss and change.

As Boopkins said in IGBP, love wins. Love always wins, and it's been true every time. I offer the best of luck to you 🎉

As for the rest of you (aka chat), Evan (he/they btw) may be on Tumblr, but I expect yall to be respectful to them, as we do for the rest of the Team. Please do not send harassment or push them past uncomfortable boundaries. This is a pretty chill community, simply remember to be aware and kind, okay? coolio 👍

Now with the pleasantries out of the way, let's talk about the actual episode! Admittedly, it caught me off guard that both Bob and Meggy occupied some of the rooms in the Castle. Bob I get it, sure, he lives in the dump, but Meggy does have her home. Then again, it's not 4's Castle, it's the Crew's. 4 just happens to own the property and live there. In some past episodes, Melony has slept over at the Castle instead of her apartment, so it's not out of the question. Plus, I could never imagine 4 rejecting them a place to stay if they need it. Once again, their Castle. (However.... *stares DIRECTLY at the unfinished 2nd floor*)

If it wasn't obvious already, I LOVE cleaning, and I wouldn't mind sitting through Luigi's presentation frfr. (And the episode had to be trash, yea ik.) And about the scene with 3 & Mario in the kitchen, I actually wanted to bring in a bit of behind-the-scenes from editor Star:

"Got a little surprise for SMG4 fans again! The extended version of my 1st scene for today's vid: Mario Cleans The House!" (clip shown below) — Star

I always loved the behind-the-scenes stuff and sharing it with you guys :) It kinda goes hand-in-hand with the moment 3 wanting to go back to his clean cafe. speaking of, I MISS THE CAFE SO BAD.

Speaking of that scene, it was indeed a funny bit of 3's plan of shoving a bunch of spoiled food into Mario ADJL;'LJK. Not the best plan there, bud. (and yea, I'm allowed to say is as someone who's friend-shaped 😊↕️)

I do love the callback to the infestation episode for Bob, I appreciate that, idk how to describe it. And I'm not sure if the Team intended this or not, but I also loved the subtle callback to Western Spaghetti and Meggy's attachment to certain materialistic things bc of her past, I totally get it. And her eventually throwing the chopsticks to the bin, I actually didn't mind it.

Yall might come at me with pitchforks but it was kinda similar to how 4 was in the Mario PC episode. 4 was given a choice to accept a deal to save his past work, and he immediately declined. In some way, he learned from IGBP, not fully but it's a big step in the right direction. Same here with Meggy, she was very attached to those chopsticks bc, like she said, they've been through a lot. Like her beanie given by Wren. But she saw what it truly meant and decided to move on, dropping the sticks in there. Again, a step.

Then, there's that door. What a coincidence that as soon as 4 said "where are we supposed to put [the trash]", the door is right there in the background. Hmmmmmmmmmm, istg the Team had this door out to get me. TEASING US. *shakes vengeful fist* we shall meet again, my mortal nemesis….....

And now, probably the whole reason yall are here for, let's talk about 4:

It is absolutely insane that the Team did that! Not just ptsd anymore, they outright say it in the show, "hey, remember when this happened to you?" I still can't wrap my head around it. Regardless, I did feel SO bad for 4. ik how Swag is, gotta love him, but BUDDY, YOU CAN'T SAY THAT! :(

4's already suppressing his trauma and guilt from IGBP. He blames himself for the whole incident when he was possessed for most of it, he lost his home the first time. Ofc he's terrified of it happening again, of losing his home the second time. Honestly, If I were him, I would've pushed all the trash and everyone out the door, and then curled up in my bed for the rest of the day. With everything he went through, I wouldn't be able to handle it. "oh, I can just nuke it like I did in the most traumatic moment of or life, it's a lost cause" <- you would see me on the news. And ofc he wouldn't do what I would do, he's 4.

He somehow held back, still doing everything he could to save it. And y'know what would make it worse, if this was the first time 4 learned that the Crew was willing to nuke the Castle while 4 and the rescue trio were still in there. Not that I blame the Crew, it was possible for the red monster to spread across the kingdom and put everyone in danger. But it is a bit messed up that the Crew didn't warn them to get out of there before they did the act. idk what to think man..... regardless, that's a post for another day.

Back to the topic, 4 definitely belongs on my "saviors in blue" list. And ofc, adding it in as more proof to the horus eye/glitch segment of my theory:

His left eye is in the frame, the true side of him. Unlike in WOTFI 2024, it was with his right (his perfectionism side) when Puzzles brought back that ptsd the first time. One where he was scared of the incident happening again, the other's a reminder that he was the "cause" of it happening.

Now there has been some talk about about how his perfectionist side slipping through the cracks and seeming like he learned nothing out of IGBP. I suppose I should bring in my thoughts into this (yea, you can get your pitchfork ready 😔). I do love when 4's guilt and trauma come back in moments like these, and as co-ceo of the goop!4 theory, I can appreciate it with a "HELL YEAH".

The in-universe explanation I can provide of his perfectionism is that he's a content creator. All he wants is to entertain people and make them happy, ofc he wants to deliver the best of his work out there. Also, as a Meme Guardian, it's a part of him and his duties. But realistically, it's sometimes like that. As someone dealing with ptsd myself, those old habits/traits that caused the incident slip through in what we do. The least we want is for that incident to happen again, we'd go through extreme panic if we're remotely close to it, but we sometimes do said traits unintentionally.

For a person like 4, who has been suppressing all of it for a long time, it would be harder for him to recognize them immediately. And like in the Mario PC Virus episode, that was very paralleled to IGBP, 4 didn't have the same hesitation. Sure, he wasn't dealing with a life there, but he did learn. Up to now, like in the past arc, he prioritized his friends more than anything. Even if he was injured. It's understandable why he's dealing with his ptsd in an unhealthy way, even if it isn't right. I can see why people may have fixed feelings about it, but those are my thoughts.

The not in-universe explanation is the change of writers. Not that it should be an excuse but it's hard to pick up the pieces, as someone who works in production.

*sigh * yea, if you want to push me down the stairs, you can 😔 /lh

Well, that's all for me, folks! Sorry it took so long to get this out haha. I knew some of you were looking forward to my reaction, especially bc of 4, but it's sweet to know that you guys care what I think, so thanks for sticking by me 💙 It's good to see the silly episodes again after a month of theorizing. Anyway, I'll catch you on the next one and remember: numbers always go first!

.....the Team really wants me to finish the goop!4 theory website, don't they. /silly

[silenzahra]

THE ABSOLUTE PERFECTION.

BOMA. YOU ABSOLUTE GENIUS. I SWEAR I'M LITERALLY CRYING RIGHT NOW.

So this MASTERPIECE is what you had in store for my birthday????? Bestie, my God, you're SPOILING ME. MY SWEET LITTLE VIOLET AND HER PAPA AND HER MAMA. I'M JUST-

MY BEAUTIFUL GIRL. SHE'S SO CUTE IN YOUR STYLE. GAAAAAHHH she's such a HAPPY little toddler and she looks so freaking CUTE in her purple shirt and white skirt!!! And I LOVE that you gave her colored socks 🥹🥹🥹 Gosh that little face 😭😭😭 I wanna squish those cheeks so BADLY.

I love that she's wearing one of her flower crowns and also giving a new one to her mama!!! Aweee I can't with Daisy's face 🥹🥹🥹 She's so proud of her little girl!! And don't even get me started in the one of mother and daughter fighting together 🤩🤩🤩 AAAAHHHH Violet is so READY to follow in her mom's footsteps and start kicking asses!!! 😁😁😁 She's just as determined as Daisy and I LOVE THEM BOTH SO MUCH 🧡💜

Okay okay okay okay. The ones with Luigi. THE ONES WITH LUIGI. The one he's singing to her while they nuzzle their noses together reminds me SO MUCH of the scene of Remember me from Coco!!!!! And it only makes it even MORE special if that's even possible because I LOVE that movie and I LOVE that scene (I always cry ugly and HARD), so Luigi singing to little Violet like this while looking at her so lovingly, and Violet listening to her papa with that big smile on her face, I swear I'm DYING bestie. I'M DYING. THIS IS SO DAMN PRECIOUS

I swear my heart has increased in size at the ones of Baby Violet kissing her daddy's nose and then Luigi hugging her and crying like he does with his baby self in Partners in Time 🥹🥹🥹 The absolute SWEETNESS. Father and daughter are just so TENDER together and I love them with my entire freaking HEART SDKGOISJGSF 😭💚💜

And last but not least... the three of them sleeping together have completely melted my heart (if it wasn't totally melted yet, that is). I love how Daisy is sleeping so soundly and lazily while still holding the book they were reading to their girl though 🤭 And the way Luigi and Violet are cuddling together, with his fingers on his daughter's hair, is so absolutely adorable and cozy and heartwarming 🥹🥹🥹 Just seeing the three of them like this has given me YEARS of life I swear.

Boma, my dear bestie 😭😭😭 How can I even thank you for this MAGNIFICENT birthday present. The fact that you love my little girl so much you wanted to drew these scenarios with her parents means the ENTIRE freaking world to me 🥹🥹🥹 You know I deeply LOVE your style, so you bringing these ideas to life with your endless talent means so much more than I can even express with words. Thank you, my dear bestie, thank you SO MUCH. I'm just so blessed and lucky to call you my friend 💖💖💖💖💖

EDIT: I have just seen my beloved friends' reblogs tagging me... Thank you all so much 🥹💖💖

@megamagimugi I see it, Mugi, and I'm afraid I've died from cuteness 🥹🥹🥹 Thank you, my friend, you really are so so sweet 🫂💖💖

@peaches2217 Thank you so much!!! I honestly had the BEST birthday in a very long time!! 😄💖💖

@itsavee4117 Oh my... How dare I??? 😱 Jokes aside... Thank you so much, my dear friend, I'm seriously so touched 🥹💖💖

@vulpixfairy1985 You BET I'm over the moon, my dear sister!!! I'm still trying to recover because there's just so much SWEETNESS in this amazing piece 🥹🥹🥹 Our dear friend really outdid herself and I can only CRY because I love this SO MUCH!!! 💖💖💖 Also, glad to see I'm not the only one who thought of Coco when seeing Luigi and Violet singing together while he plays the guitar for his little girl 🥹💚💜

it’s a very special friend of mine’s birthday today…

so to honor @silenzahra’s bday, meet her beautiful Luaisy child, Violet!

little bit rushed, but eh. hope you like it Zahra, love you soooooo much bestie ♥️♥️

[naivesilver]

top 5 adaptations of the Fairy from Pinocchio? (or maybe top 5 best AND 5 worst?)

I spent so long staring at this and wondering if I even KNEW five good Fairies, but it turns out I do, albeit mostly for asinine reasons. Anyway AHFAKKJKFHAHJKJA thank you <3

Ask me my top 5 anything

Obviously under the cut because I couldn't resist and did BOTH

The salt AKA the worst of the worst first:

1) Piccolino No Bouken

Surprised? I suppose most would have expected me to put the Disney Fairy first, and I did, too, for a while, but as I was sitting in my car pondering this ranking I realized I was SEETHING with rage about this one, so I had to rearrange things a bit. This, guys, is where my Fairy hate begins - not the book, not the Mouse's interference. This woman.

I hate her. I hate her SO MUCH, for all that I love this adaptation more than most things in the world, and that the choices made about her characterization were a huge inspiration for me. Not only does she not send Pinocchio to school, instead teaching him on her own, she is the only one to actively keep Pinocchio from his father - indeed, she makes the choice for them, saying to Geppetto's face that it would be best for the boy to be taught something before he goes back home. Who the hell are you to make this call, uh? You have known him for a day at most! You left him hanging from a fucking tree all night! I wouldn't trust you with a bloody lapdog, nevermind a child!

Also she lets Pinocchio believe she's dead UNTIL THE VERY END. She turns into a bird while he cries at her tomb. Are we fucking serious now? Leave him alone.

(Yes, this is elementary school me howling for revenge. I've been mad about this longer than reason would let me. Sue me.)

2) Disney's Pinocchio

Bane of my existence. I don't know if anyone remembers that pic of me at the Pinocchio theme park I posted a while ago, but basically in that moment they were putting up a little show to tell children a little bit of the OG story, and they asked the audience if they knew what color the Fairy's hair was - a few said blonde, and I, being on stage next to her, distinctly heard her mutter "dammit, Disney". I've been living with that mantra since then.

Nobody asked you to make that puppet sentient, ma'am. He doesn't owe you shit. Aside from that, just like Jiminy Cricket, she ruined her character in a good two thirds of future adaptation. And while we're speaking of Jiminy, WHY did she think it would be a good idea to entrust a little boy to a slime ball such as him? He's too horny to have an ounce of sense. Conscience, my ass.

Basically...begone, asshole.

3) Pinocchio and the Emperor of the Night

This film is so horrible, the Fairy had no chance to be decent at all. A cheap copy of the Disney one, with the addendum that she turns MULTIPLE toys into living beings while holding them responsible for whatever they do after. Basically Victor Frankenstein, but make it a poorly dressed woman from a direct-to-TV movie that shouldn't have existed at all.

-100/10, at least you're pretty, but by God, SHUT UP.

4) Once Upon a Time

Honest to God if she doesn't keep her filthy hands off my faves she's gonna get a slap across the face so strong her Wish Realm self ought to feel it sting. I am not exaggerating.

Seven seasons in, she hasn't done ANYTHING useful that I can remember. She's not even good at her own fucking job! Not only that, she's traumatized and guilt-tripped a good chunk of the population of Storybrooke, including first and foremost my beloved son August. The Pavlovian reaction I had every time she appeared on screen can't be described in coherent words, only in eagle screeches.

She's wrong. On principle, she's wrong. Let's move on.

5) Luigi Comencini's Le Avventure di Pinocchio

Doesn't rank higher only because she's played by Gina Lollobrigida (my beloved). She's book accurate, which means she'd be annoying as fuck as it is, but what little they added only makes her worse.

She has the gall to tell Pinocchio she'd like to see him happier. Like, apart from the fact that the ghost of his father's deceased wife isn't exactly the most reassuring person to hear it from...Said father has been swallowed by a giant fish. You told that boy he's only going to see his father if he studies hard. You keep turning him into a puppet anytime he misbehaves. What did you expect, that he would do the Macarena every time he entered your house? I am honestly too shocked to say any more. What the fuck.

.

.

.

Okay, I've been enraged enough for a single night. Let's move onto brighter shores!

1) Enzo D'Alò's Pinocchio

Enzo D'Alò knows what the fuck is UP!!! The only one with the courage to let the Fairy be a weird little girl - not only for a short time, but up until the end of the movie! That takes guts! Balls of steel!

I've said before that this movie has nothing memorable to it, and it's true, but also...Pinocchio wanted a sister so bad, and the movie gave him one. And they even explained the plot hole of the medallion with Pinocchio's face in it! That's twice as good as the fact that they cut out the most awful parts of her story, which is already delightful.

Thank you, Mr D'Alò. You have my trust until the end of days.

2) The Adventures of Buratino

Speaking of weird girls, this one is officially balls to the walls enough to gain my respect. She's bothersome to Pinocchio, but she's bothersome to everyone and everything, so I'll let it pass. Her role is exclusively to appear out of nowhere and do batshit insane stuff for no good reason at all. A star.

Plus, other than having an handwashing obsession that I've felt very keenly in the past year and a half, she also has a boyfriend - her and Pierrot are the original girlboss and malewife, I'm not accepting any criticism on the matter.

(Fun fact: when I was a young kid I once dreamt that the Piccolino No Bouken Fairy was dating a big, buff and blonde farmhand. He wooed her by gifting Pinocchio a dog. Apparently I've always been very interested in Fairies getting a love life and staying the fuck away from my specialest little boy.)

3) Pinocchio miniseries

"Serena, but you said you were disappointed in this adaptation so many times!" True. But consider: I am also very, very queer, and Violante Placido being motherly and wearing wispy dresses stirred SOMETHING in 11yo me that I can't very well ignore.

In hindsight, she and the Cricket probably had something going on behind the scenes, which is a shame. Miss Fairy, I swear, you could do better than Luciana Littizzetto in an ill-fitting green suit. She's gonna break your heart and lose your puppet charge in a crowd of little idiots. Do me instead.

4) Pinocchio Vampire Slayer

This woman kills monsters - and she's damn good at it! Honestly, so badass, and such a good mother figure too, even in trying times. I don't want to spoil the comic much to those who haven't read it, but she and Cherry are the highlight of the first volume and I am very fond of them. A+.

5) Matteo Garrone's Pinocchio

This one's book accurate, too, but Garrone did something with her that almost burst in tears in a crowded theater. She's awful, and irritating, but she's...she's so human, too. I can't rage against a Fairy that's so impossibly human even during the smallest of scenes. It breaks me over and over again.

Look at her SMILING, for pity's sake, am I supposed to think there's some warmth in the dead lady? Fuck you, Matteo, what did you do to me? I am an honored Fairy hater. You're going to ruin my reputation if you keep this up.

[kuramirocket]

Mario and Luigi have always been side by side. There is no them without the other. Both would fight tooth and nail against the world, against the universe and anything and everything to get back to each other's side if seperated and fight just as fiercely to stay together.

Every feeling, every touch is truly so natural and loving how could they ever go back to just being siblings now that they have had a taste of something they never knew they longed for or was missing even before the soulbond. Both thought they were complete before, but this new bond is a new found ecstacy, addictive in every way. Pure portrayal and feelings of their deep love for one another.

As for a daring first kiss after Mario is safe and relatively unharmed from battle, I like the idea of Mario being surprised by Luigi's boldness, but the electricity running through them both in waves coupled with Luigi's intense feelings of relief, adoration and love has Mario instantly relaxing, everything else drowned out and closing his eyes as he gently kisses back, cupping his beloved brother's face with his hands. After their lips pull apart, both are left breathless, foreheads touching, meeting each other's gaze so fondly, timidly, Mario and Luigi relieved that the other wants this just as much as they had been wanting, but always skirting around their real feelings until now. Both are still afraid of what all this could bring, the reaction of others, yet how can it be so wrong if it feels so fulfilling and right and if the power of the Suepr Star and magic itself has pulled them even closer, soulmates.

Both being so gentle, but intense and fierce at the same time as they always, always check in with the other, it's too cute and so important. It creates even more feelings of safety and reassurance, no fear as they explore the other's body with pure delight and adoration.

And oooh Luigi using his thunderhand for electric play is so interesting. It raises the hairs on Mario's body as he feels soft feathery sensations from the electricity, part of the appeal knowing how powerful and the damage Luigi's thunderhand can cause, yet it being used for stimulation and love for him is enough to have him shivering and writhing in pleasure knowing he's safe and in well cared hands by his baby brother. It's part of that intimacy of losing control that Mario loves because he can see Luigi be dominant and take charge. Something that only Mario ever truly gets to see and he loves every second of it.

As for Mario's firebrand. Luigi and Mario would have to invest in fireproof blankets and other fireproof material if Mario didn't have full control of his ability 🤭

Now, I don't know much about actual fire play, but from my understanding wiping alcohol may be directly applied to the skin and then the fire is skimmed over the sub's body lingering enough to feel heat and a tickling sensation. There should be little to no pain. Enough to possibly leave the skin red, but still should be a nice tingling and pleasurable feeling. And again, this just highlights so much the utter trust and safety both Mario and Luigi bring to each other. Being so confident in the other that they won't accidently harm each other when exploring and playing in the bedroom.

There's also the potential cuteness and devotion of aftercare since this is absolutely necessary and important when exploring different play! And it would be just so in character for them to lovingly look after the other and make sure they are okay and comfortable.

But yes!! Their relationship is truly just trust, consent, safety, happiness, etc. I always imagining it being so tender and soft with some more intimate and intense flavor if both are feeling more bold and adventurous.

There is just so much fun things to explore with this ship!

Anyone remembers my Oblivious Soulmates AU ? Good, because here comes more of it !

It takes some time to get used to this... Situation. To be your brother's soulmate, bondmate, soulbound, whatever you call it (and from what they learn, the magic world has a lot of names for it).

It's strange, but as Mario realizes abruptly one day, it's not the situation itself that is strange; it's how little it disturbs them. Maybe because they always hoped they would spend their lives by each other's side, and only now does Mario realize partners and children never really featured in their long-term plans. Or maybe because Luigi realizes whenever people asked him if he had a girlfriend, he wanted to scoff because what was the point when he had Mario by his side ?

But they never thought of each other as ... that kind of partners before. Yet now it's addictive; they were already a package deal, have always shown their affection through touch, but now every touch, every caresses is a thrill, a peek into the other's emotions, and it was only a matter of time because they took it a further step. They wake up entangled in the morning and already hungry for more, Mario loves Luigi's teasing touches, Luigi relishes in his brother's gentle strokes.

That fulfilling, addictive, perfect feeling of belonging. Mine, mine, mine, their souls sing in harmony as they become one again.

But sometimes reality is there to remind them they're different now.

When they visit their family in Brooklyn, they're careful, sneaky, anxious to be caught. It makes Mario wonder if he hasn't made a mistake, led his little brother down a dangerous path (because if there is someone to blame, it's Mario, it's always Mario). Luigi feels his discomfort and joins him on the fire escape after dinner, leaning against his shoulder and gently scolding him. Does Mario think Luigi wouldn't follow him to the end of earth anyway, soul bond or not ? And now, it might be strange, it might be weird, but he wouldn't give this up for anything in the world.

He's Mario's. Mario is his. That's as simple as that.

*

And now for a little something different ! I have several ideas for this AU, some based on the games, some on situations.

[monster-huntologist]

Here’s a good one: Top 10 Characters That You Want In Smash Other Than The Hunter. Five that you think are likely and five that are just wishful thinking

I don’t know the actual specific chances of these characters, so I’ll split them up into three sections depending on likelihood. I’m also doing this with the mindset that Spirits do not affect a characters chances, which is a question that may finally be answered when the ARMS Fighter is revealed.

The “Hopeful Wish” Picks.

Fawful is, in my opinion, one of the best Mario villains Nintendo has ever had. I would love to see both him and the Mario and Luigi games get a bit more spotlight (Despite the fact that he’s literally dead. Hey, if it didn’t stop Ridley or Ganondorf, why not him?) However, the general obscurity of his character and somewhat-recent shutdown of Alphadream greatly lower his chances.

With both Sans and Megalovania in Smash, we have proof that Sakurai is not against putting content from that game into the series. So for an actual fighter, I would present Undyne. She’s the character in the series who has the most battle experience and Smash is currently without a spearfighter.

This is is definitely the most unlikely, but A Hat in Time is honestly one of my favourite platformers of all time and amongst my favorite video games. I would absolutely adore to see Hat Kid in Smash, with Bow Kid as an alternate skin or Echo. She’s, in the games words, “so hecking cute” and has plenty of potential for a moveset.

The “Definitely have a Chance” Picks

Smash is sorely missing a Grass Starter Pokémon and, other than Rillaboom, Sceptile is a prime candidate to be one. A very popular Pokémon from a beloved generation and has a moveset already planned out from Pokkén.

Although Splatoon already has representation with the Inklings, I think it would be a fantastic idea to include the Octolings (with Agent 8 as a primary skin). I don’t know if they could be made into entirely new characters, but they could definitely serve as Echo Fighters or a role like that of Isabelle (similar to another character, but with enough changes to make them stand out).

My personal pick for the Indie category, Shantae is also the most likely candidate other than Shovel Knight (And my second most wanted character after The Hunter). She’s had a good history with Nintendo, good moveset potential with her hair and transformation dances, and Wayforward themselves are very adamant about her inclusion.

The “Most Likely” Picks

To round out the Dreamland Quartet alongside Kirby, Dedede and Meta Knight, it’s a surprise Bandana Dee hasn’t joined already. And much like Undyne up above, his spear would fill a new play style perfectly.

Much like Sonic, Crash had a long rivalry with Nintendo that lessened overtime until the two were on friendly terms (With the Titans Games, N.Sane Trilogy and CTR Nitro Fueled all being on Nintendo Consoles). He’s a quintessential mascot of the PlayStation and would fit perfectly into Smash.

Another character I’m surprised isn’t in the game already, Rayman would be a very interesting fighter. The guy can literally throw punches and kicks at you. Mix that with many of his games already being on Nintendo systems, Ubisoft properties being in the game (The Rabbids themselves are essentially spinoffs of the Rayman series), and his dedicated fanbase, it’s astonishing he hasn’t made it in already.

I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT. DR IVO “EGGMAN” ROBOTNIK IS A COOL ASS MOTHER FUCKER. HE ABSOLUTELY DESERVES A PLACE WITH VILLAINS LIKE BOWSER. THAT'S RIGHT. HE’S PROBABLY THE MOST POPULAR SONIC CHARACTER OTHER THAN SONIC HIMSELF, AND HE DESERVES THAT FUCKING INVITATION. HE SAID HIS CHANCES WERE “THIS BIG" AND I SAID THAT'S ABSOLUTELY CORRECT.

(Fawful art from PhantomV13 , Undyne art from Creathian , Sceptile, Bandana Dee, Shantae, Crash, Hat Kid, Rayman art from hextupleyoodot and Agent 8 from this mod.)

[notyourpocket]

Event Info: The Medic

I said I’d redo this once I was at a computer and I did. Anyone wanna change class to Medic?

BODY

Welcome to being a Foxy Grandpa.

He is 53 years old, six foot tall, and only graying in his sideburns. Yes, he dyes.

The Medic is a stronk man, many muscle. His upper half, especially, is covered in lean muscle and hair. He can lift and move a lot of men, but not all.

Faint scars pepper both his chest and back irregularly, his back moreso, and all are very nicely healed. Most look to have come from gunfire, though a portion along his spine look like clean slices. He is/was a high priority target.

He’s very healthy for his age; while he’s in his early fifties he feels in his twenties.

His heartbeat is too strong, as if the organ is larger than his body could feasibly produce. Which is entirely correct.

ABILITIES

Health Regeneration: Retains the ability to recover from mild to moderate wounds up to five times per day.

A watergun full of Nyquil: It seems to function in the place of the Medigun for healing wounds. No, I don’t know how to go about using it either!

MIND

He's battle hardened and no stranger to sudden violence; he genuinely enjoys bloodshed. Both the healing and the hurting parts. He just won’t be the one starting it unless there’s good reason.

His job is his life and he gets very bored without something to occupy his time (preferably surgery). He hates being alone or idle for too long. 

He’s very friendly if he decides to like or tolerate someone, you wouldn’t think that he’s definitely considering the most polite way to ask if you still have/want your gallbladder. The worst of his anger is a stress response.

He's fully fluent in both German and English, but still struggles a little at times with the latter. He mixes the two up in conversation often and will use German as an excuse to say things he doesn’t want heard.

PAST

Only the Medic’s surname has been revealed in canon (Ludwig). As silly as it sounds, it only fits to headcanon his first name as also being Ludwig. Ludwig Ludwig. Mario Mario. Luigi Mario.

My headcanons on his past and family are vague, but he doesn't think about them often nor does he seem attached. He hated his father and comes from a line of mad doctors. His grandfather was the previous.

He does have an ex-wife and the split wasn't a good one- he's grown bitter in those regards. It was a cheating situation involving one of his teammates (this is me over-extending and pulling throwaway domination lines from the Demoman to use as headcanons). Your guess is as good as mine as to her name.

His team were men he considered as both friends and patients, to a degree. He was the most friendly with the Heavy and Engineer and the least with the Soldier and Scout. Pyro... he avoided unless necessary, but not out of dislike.

Feel free to play with any memories from the events of the comics or games, there’s a lot to use so do ask! He has died and been revived at least once outside of the city and has sold his soul to Satan, literally.

ETC.

Switching with the Medic also earns you Archimedes, his beloved dove. Whether the bird notices the change or is even around is up to you! They're utterly devoted to each other!

He’s started learning instruments to pass the time between fights; right now he’s good at accordion and violin. GG if you find a way to use that to your advantage, I guess?

If you want icons, I’d be happy to hand over my comic ones and the ones from the official SFM shorts!

I'll edit this as needed! I'm sure I forgot things.

[eggoreviews]

Viddy Games Monthly #1 - February 2019

Is this really late? Sure Is!

Here's something new I'm trying! In this 'issue' (lol):

NEW RELEASES - A look back at everything exciting that dropped this month, from Resident Evil 2 to the new 2D Mario!

NEWS - January is usually pretty dry for viddy games, but there's some interesting stuff still!

Release dates, updates and more!

NEW RELEASES

Fitness Boxing (RD: January 4th - Nintendo Switch)

And here we have Nintendo’s first real attempt in this console generation to draw in the fitness crowd they catered to so well with the Wii. Except, Fitness Boxing feels a lot more technical and niche than those other titles from a decade ago. Fitness Boxing’s main draw is teaching you how to improve your boxing form, meaning it’s definitely not one to play with the family unless you’re all die hard boxing fans. But if you’re less interested in picking up the technical aspects, Fitness Boxing works just as well as a fitness companion, coming packed with its own motivational trainer (I haven’t picked this game up purely because it would feel like I’m cheating on the Wii Fit Trainer. Plus this basically dashes all hope of Wii Fit Switch so I’ll need to mourn that for a hot minute).

Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story + Bowser Jr.’s Journey (RD: January 11th - Nintendo 3DS)

As the 3DS reaches the end of its lifespan and its screentime in the Nintendo Directs gets shorter, this Mario & Luigi title could well be one of the last RPGs we see on the system. In this enhanced remaster, the worlds of turn based RPG and 2D platformer collide and, coupling this fact with some odd setpieces including Bowser’s literal stomach, also make for one of the weirdest games on the system. Despite this, there’s no doubt that it works. With the addition of the Bowser Jr.’s Journey expansion, there’s undoubtedly a wealth of content to explore here, especially if you’re new to this oddly charming RPG spin-off.

New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe (RD: January 11th - Nintendo Switch)

The latest in a long line of Wii U ports, Nintendo has bundled up Mario U and Super Luigi U and released it yet again on the Switch. This is by no means a bad thing, as we had yet to see a 2D Mario on the system, but the general consensus seems to be that the play time is much shorter than the price would have you believe. Of course, if you’re a die hard Mario fan, there’s no doubt you’ve already picked this up and it’s definitely worth a go if you didn’t have a chance to play on Wii U. Alongside this, new features include new playable characters and helpful items for if you’re like me and are terrible at platformers (I welcome these changes). But really, I think the talk of the town was the fact they patched in Blue Toad before release when everyone got sad that he was absent. Thanks Nintendo.

Tales of Vesperia: Definitive Edition (RD: January 11th - Windows, Xbox One, PS4, Switch)

An enhanced port with updated HD graphics to celebrate the 10th anniversary of this beloved entry in Bandai Namco’s Tales series. This edition comes packed with a beefy selection of new content, including all that was exclusive to Japan at the time of the PS3 port’s release. Generally, this game scored high at the time of its release, being cited as an interesting and unique JRPG that was made all the better by its trademark combat system that has been carried throughout the series.

The Walking Dead: The Final Season - Episode 3: Broken Toys (RD: January 15th - Windows, Xbox One, PS4, Switch)

Against all the odds, the critically acclaimed Walking Dead game series has somehow survived the closure of its creator, Telltale Games, continuing under Skybound Entertainment. The series continues to shine in critic reviews, which thankfully continues into the penultimate episode, Broken Toys. With a firm release date of the final episode being March 26th, we won’t have to wait long to finally witness the end of Clementine’s story.

Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes (RD: January 18th - Nintendo Switch)

The third entry in the No More Heroes series has finally arrived 9 years after its second effort, though this time to mixed reviews. The gameplay fans of the series are used to has been totally overhauled this time around, instead throwing Travis into a possessed game console containing six wildly different, self-contained video games. This time, the gameplay is entirely from a top-down perspective. Some enjoyed this radical change of pace for the series, but other fans of Travis believed the drastic change was a little too jarring to enjoy in contrast to this entry’s predecessors.

Resident Evil 2 remake (RD: January 25th - Windows, PS4, Xbox One)

The highly anticipated remake of Capcom’s horror classic finally dropped this month, and let’s be honest, it’s everything fans wanted. The controversial move to ditch the usual fixed camera the early RE games are known for so the game could be built in Capcom’s home-grown Resident Evil 7 engine was what made the game so immersive and genuinely terrifying. With tons of gameplay tweaks, Capcom managed to tread the line between creating a fresh experience and staying faithful to the original game. Entirely different puzzle solutions, new dialogue and a whole new playable character in Sherry Birkin ensures that those who know the original inside out will still have more to discover, but the return of each horrifying boss and setpiece in glorious HD puts the nostalgia into overdrive. Plus, the tofu block came back so really there’s nothing to gripe at.

Kingdom Hearts III (RD: January 29th - Xbox One, PS4)

Here it is. The game fans have been waiting 14 years for. The one that ties every character and confusing plot arc together and says ‘Merry christmas, Baymax is in this game now!’

With a few fan favourite worlds returning among a handful of new ones, Kingdom Hearts has finally launched itself into the current gen with a heartfelt tale of friendship and big hair. There really is very little to say about this, because we all knew it was going to be good.

Also out this month:

First person shooter Bright Memory released this month to positive reception, despite controversy around the stolen assets used by the devs.

Charming adventure game Vane dropped this month, allowing players to explore a beautiful world as a boy who can turn into a bird.

Ace Combat 7: Skies Unknown, the critically acclaimed combat flight sim series, released for PS4 and Xbox One, with some great VR content.

Life Is Strange 2 Episode 2 - Rules released this month, continuing the heartfelt tale of two brothers on the run

Gothic Indie RPG Sunless Skies released at the very end of January, showing a detailed focus on narrative and exploration

NEWS

What’s been happenin’? Probably a lot, but this is what I picked up on!

Metroid Prime 4 has gone a bit wonky

As everyone has probably heard by now, the long awaited Metroid Prime 4 has officially been halted and restarted, as announced in a commendably transparent video Nintendo published on their YouTube channel last month. Basically, they weren’t happy with how development was going so they’ve gone back to square one, this time with the help of past Prime developers Retro Studios. Honestly, this is a really good sign, as it shows how committed Nintendo are to creating a solid game to stand next to the other three. Plus, this makes a Prime trilogy switch port way more likely in my eyes, so hooray for that.

Piranha Plant got here early!

At the tail end of January, those who redeemed their plant boi codes turned on Smash and suddenly got the gratefully received ‘Piranha Plant joins the battle’ message! I can confirm I made a bit of a weird dolphin noise when I saw he’d turned up before the estimated February release. In another post, I’ll be breaking down his moveset in a bit more detail, so keep an eye out for that if you’re a fellow plant connoisseur!

Sony patents retro back-compatibility for PS5?

A new patent Sony put through last month that they tried to sneak by us MAY hint at retro back-compatibility for their next system, spanning all four of their home consoles. If this news is true, this could give Sony a massive edge in the next console gen, as remasters and retro games become increasingly popular, as well as the fact that people are unlikely to want to leave the considerable PS4 library behind. So at the very least, we can hope for PS4 games to be playable on the PS5.

Cross platform achievements could be a thing!

A since removed GDC listing teased the possible integration of Xbox Live onto iOS, Android and, interestingly, the Nintendo Switch! At a base level, this would very probably mean that achievements between these two consoles would be cross compatible, or at least viewable on either console. While nothing is confirmed just yet, this could be a sign of the growing partnership between Microsoft and Nintendo.

Nintendo is really lovin’ their mobile games!

With Switch sales beginning to level out ever so slightly, Nintendo seems to be turning to the mobile market. A mobile Mario Kart was announced a couple of years ago, but now it finally has a name, Mario Kart Tour. It’s now slated for a Summer 2019 release. Alongside this, Nintendo have announced Dr. Mario World for mobile, as well as rumours bubbling under that Dragalia Lost could be seeing a localised port for Canada and Europe.

New Nintendo Selects for the States!

Super Mario Maker, The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask 3D and Star Fox 64 3D have arrived in America as Nintendo Selects, thankfully proving that Nintendo aren’t quite willing to let the 3DS die just yet. Not to be that guy, but Majora’s Mask over in Europe as a select would be pretty great. Pls.

Indie Highlights

And finally, Nintendo has dropped another Indie Highlights on us, featuring the likes of Wargroove, When Ski Lifts Go Wrong, Forager and the (long awaited?) Goat Simulator port. Worth a look if you’re looking for something a little wackier to play this month!

That’s all the headlines for this month!

FREE VIDYA

Are you subscribed to whatever online service your console has? Then oh boy, you got some free stuff!

NES Nintendo Switch Online - Blaster Master & Zelda II: The Adventure of Link

This month, Nintendo added the ever wonderful and upsettingly hard Zelda II to their retro lineup, along with lesser known run-and-gun platformer Blaster Master.

PlayStation Plus - Steep & Portal Knights

It’s a good month for snowboard enthusiasts over on the PS4 this month, as Ubisoft’s open world sports game Steep joins the lineup. Alongside this, the artistically charming RPG Portal Knights was free last month. January also marked the final month of PS Plus support for the Vita and PS3, with Fallen Legion: Flames of Rebellion & Super Mutant Alien Assault joining the Vita lineup and Zone of the Enders HD Collection and Amplitude free for PS3 owners

Xbox Game Pass

January was a hecking good month for members of the Xbox game pass, with the entire Life Is Strange saga joining the service, along with other quality games such as Just Cause 3, Farming Simulator 17, Absolver, Aftercharge and ARK: Survival Evolved.

RELEASE DATES

Yoshi’s Crafted World

Nintendo released a story trailer for Yoshi’s creative new outing, showing off Baby Bowser and Kamek as the game’s villains. The release date set for this uniquely cardboard platformer is March 29th, so fans won’t have to wait long!

Kirby’s Extra Epic Yarn

Breathing new life into the 3DS is this enhanced port of Kirby’s Epic Yarn, which originally released on the Wii in 2010. Featuring all new content that wasn’t available the first time around, fans of the Kirby series will be able to pick this up from March 8th.

Final Fantasy remasters

After the exciting announcement in September that beloved Final Fantasy games would be coming to other consoles in 2019, Square Enix have finally announced release dates for a couple of these titles. Final Fantasy X/X-2 HD Remaster will hit the Switch and Xbox One on April 16th, while Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age arrives on both of these consoles on April 30th.

RUMOURS

Welcome to probably the most controversial segment of this, the rumour-y bit! Just a pre-warning that nothing talked about here is by any means confirmed, so keep your expectations tempered.

SNES for Switch Online?

A recent datamine into the NES Switch Online app has apparently revealed a list of 20 SNES games in the code that could be coming to the system in the future, including Mario World, Kirby Superstar, A Link to the Past and Super Metroid. I’m hesitant to say this is true because nothing has been said on Nintendo’s end yet, but considering the lack of content for Switch Online as of yet, I’d say it’s fairly likely in any case. If this is true, we can all hope for DK Country and EarthBound also because pls Nintendo.

Smash Ultimate Fighter Pass Leak

There have been two notable datamines in the past month that could reveal our four remaining DLC fighters for Smash Ultimate. The first uncovered three names in the coding for the game, Plant (obviously referring to Piranha Plant), Jack (Likely Joker from Persona 5) and Brave (Speculated to be Erdrick from the Dragon Quest series). The reason why Brave is so heavily speculated to be Erdrick is because, in Japan, the hero class Erdrick belongs to in Dragon Quest is called ‘Yusha’, which translates to brave in English. Alongside this, one of the heads of development for Smash Ultimate, Shinya Kumazaki, recently posted a photo of the iconic shield from Dragon Quest with the caption ‘the brave’s shield’, which naturally sent the internet into meltdown. Personally, I think Erdrick is pretty much a dead cert for the DLC roster at this point, especially after that Instagram tease.

Thanks for reading!

In the next issue, most likely in the first week of March, I’ll be reviewing the likes of Jump Force, Metro Exodus, Far Cry New Dawn and Anthem, plus giving you a rundown of anything game-y that happens in February! Plus, the new game of the month feature will begin next time, as I explain my choice for January’s best game. Have a fun day. Stay hydrated.

[mr-free-spirit]

A special for "Bowser Day 2017"

NOTE: this is an update of the same post made the previous day with various typos corrected in my spare time. It was pointed out yesterday in a private message that apparently yesterday’s particular date is known as “Bowser Day”. It was explained to me what Bowser Day is. This is news to me, lol! But I thought of something - since yesterday was apparently Bowser Day, I’ve decided to share something special on here. I was originally going to share this yesterday on the day itself, but I’m afraid I just wasn’t able to due to my busy schedule. So here it is today instead. ;) The following is an actual planned future portion of my “Long-Haired Luigi” comic strip that I haven’t drawn yet. I’m going to give you guys a “sneak peek” by sharing it in story form (it will, of course, be completely illustrated for the comic strip far later down the road). And, of course, it stars Bowser. Thise of you familiar with kitchy, spoofy sixties movies might recognize what this whole bit is aping… but even if you don’t get the joke, I hope all of you observing Bowser Day still enjoy it! ;D (P.S. I don’t have time for my best writing or correcting typos, so please excuse any you find.) - Cackletta, of course, cackled at her remarkably excellent fortune. Here, plotting away in her new hideout as she gloated, she would not only get to take over The Mushroom Kingdom, but this new land called California as well. She entered the automatic door to her main chamber, where some of her assistants were busy overseeing a large metal, tablelike disc with only a single centered leg below to support it off the floor. On top of the huge disc lay Bowser. Lying on his back spread-eagled, his shell removed and stored only heaven knew where, his wrists and ankles bound to the disc’s surface by solid metal bands, and looking pissed as all get out, Bowser was the very picture of outrage. “Leave us!” Cackletta commanded her servants, who all obediently took their leave, leaving the vile witch alone with her captive. Bowser could barely contain himself. “ALLLLL-right, I DEMAND to know, just WHAT is the MEANING of this… this… STUNT???!” he bellowed at her. “WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS TO ME???” Cackletta approached the side of his disc and explained gleefully, her voice rising more and more with ridiculous overenthusiasm, “Simple! Out of all the villains, YOU are EASILY the most desirable, and *I* have a HUGE ***CRUSH*** ON YOOOOU!!!” as she placed her face cheek to cheek with his, beaming a ridiculous toothy smile. This instantly caused Bowser to wince, his nose wrinkling as he sarcastically remarked while rolling his eyes away from her direction, “Oh GOODY. Lucky me.” Cackletta leaned up, giggling. “Oh, come now, don’t be like that!” she playfully scolded him in what was obviously intended to be in a cutesy fashion. “Why, you should be HONOURED to know that you have been chosen by the future ruler of this present existence!” Glaring at her, Bowser asked as calmly as he could, “And is this what you ALWAYS do to every single guy who catches your eye?” “Yes, of course! I strip them naked, then tie them up!!!” “Classy.” “Yes, isn’t it?” areed Cackletta enthusiastically, completely missing Bowser’s irony. “So FAR much more adventurous than ANYTHING that Princess Peach would do! Plus I outmatch her AND her appearance ANY day!” At that point Bowser couldn’t help himself. He simply started laughing. Cackletta suddenly stopped short. “And just what the heck are you laughing at?” Bowser giggled, “Oh nothing, I was just wondering, have you SEEN yourself in the mirror, lately?” Cackletta crossed her arms. “And just what is THAT supposed to mean?” “Well, you should. You’re a pathetic, weird, ridiculous, insignificant little excuse for a monster, that’s all!” “Are you saying that you actually find that blonde airheaded goody-goofy more attractive than I am?” “Who, Peach?” Bowser's eyes couldn’t helped glazing over at the mere thought of his beloved. “She’s a REAL woman, the cutest chick in town! I mean WOW, is she hot or WHAT?” Cackletta scoffed at the idea. “Hmpf! WELL, for your information, anything SHE can do, *I* can do better!!!” She immediately stormed over to what appeared to be some kind of karaoke machine. Bowser’s eyes widened in alarm, “Oh gods NO, PLEASE don’t tell me you’re gonna—!!!” But it was too late. Cacklette spent the next few minutes torturing Bowser with a screechingly atrocious performance of Madonna’s “Like A Virgin”. This has all got to be a bad dream, Bowser couldn’t help hoping to himself. Nothing exists that could torture a prisoner more than what he was being put through. Nothing! Cackletta then overenthusiastically rushed over to the object of her desire for his personal evaluation. “WELL???" Bowser eyed her. “Trust me. You don’t want my honest opinion.” “Too overwhelmed with desire for words, huh?” She started seductively playing with his hair, an action which annoyed Bowser to no end. “Well of course, that NOW means that it’s time for YOU to sing a song for ME!” Bowser turned green with nausea. “Does it, now.” “But of COURSE!!!” she cooed. “Even *I* know by now what a lovely, golden bass tone you have!” “Thrillsville.” “Come on, let’s have it!” “And if I don’t?" “Well then, in THAT case…” Cackletta cackled evilly, “…I’ll ZAP you and turn you into a PREGNANT FEMALE!” Bowser’s eyes grew wide with terror for the first time. He started to sweat nervously. “If… if I do, will you keep quiet?” “But of COURSE!” Bowser cleared his throat the best he could. Then, trying to ignore the ludicrousness of attempting to sing while held prisoner strapped to a giant metal disc table by a drooling witch, he began singing the best he could under such stressful circumstances in his best seductive tone Dusty Springfield’s “The Look of Love”. It wouldn’t have been quite so bad, actually, if it were not for the fact that Cackletta was insisting on swinging and swaying all over the place to every single note he sang — and at one pointed when he reached the words, “I can hardly wait to hold you, feel my arms around you…”, he nearly gagged and puked when she suddenly flung her arms around his head and shoulders, pressing his cheek to hers with her eyes beaming sideways at him. There MUST be some way out of this mess, Bowser thought to himself. I’ve GOT to get out of here to warn Luigi and the girls! _ Meanwhile, back in the lounge as the suspicious looking suit-clad fellow was sitting at his table… Luigi admired Princess Peach’s remarkably convincing costume; an outlandish ‘60s-esque frock topped with an enormous black chiffon wig. "You’re pretending to be an enemy spy is a stroke of genius, Peach, but… are you sure you’re acting chops are up to the job?” “Don’t worry,” she assured the others. “I was once considered one of the tops in acting plays in my college years. I can’t see this as being any different.” “Sure hope you’re right,” said Daisy. “But just remember; anything go wrong, call the calvary and we come charging in.” “You got it.” And with that, Peach was off on her way out into the heart of the lounge, walking as seductively as she could manage. “If she can only just get him to spill the beans long enough to find out what’s going on here… and who’s got Bowser…” Daisy muttered, her teeth clenching. “I hate to say this, but it makes me mad enough that I almost wish that I had the nerve to go rushing in there, just twist the guy’s arm and get it out of him myself.” “I don’t blame you, Daisy,” Luigi replied softly. “But let’s stay low for now. We don’t want to cause any more commotion we don’t have to if we can help it.” The odd, suspicious-looking fellow suddenly jolted upward with delighted shock at the sight of the costumed Princess Peach approaching him. “Well, well, WELL! And just who do I have the present pleasure of meeting?” he inquired of her. Peach flicked little sides of her wig as she spoke with the purring voice of a foreign seductive temptress. “My name is Casino Royale.” - Meanwhile, back with poor Bowser… “OK! THERE! I sang your song, you happy now?” “Oh yes, most definitely!” Cackletta cooed, “and now I can begin discussing with you my plans for world domination!” “Hey, wait a sec! You said you’d stay quiet if I sang you a song!” “But I DID stay quiet!” she replied gleefully. “Sing another one and I’ll be quiet again!” Bowser groaned, straining not to sound too exasperated. “And while I’m at it,” she added as she strolled over to a small display table, “let me demonstrate to you another example of my brilliance! Peach could NEVER top THIS!” She held high what appeared to be a tiny round pill. Bowser raised an eyebrow. “And just what is that supposed to be?” “ONLY the most brilliant secret weapon anyone has ever concocted! It looks like an aspirin. It tastes like an aspirin. But it isn’t an aspirin.” “It’s your birth control?” Bowser asked hopefully. “Don’t be funny. I’m deathly serious. The moment an unsuspecting dupe swallows this pill, it sets off a chain reaction within their genetic makeup, immediately causing exactly 1,000,000 cells within their body to each become ultrapowerful explosives, transforming the victim into a walking bomb. One by one, each little bomb will explode within their body, and once they are all detonated, the worst sort of explosion will occur, enough to level a mountain!” She smiled triumphantly at the very thought, adding, “It is also spell resistant, potion resistant, cure resistant, antidote resistant to anything and everything, making it absolutely FOOLPROOF!” “WHOA. That’s… pretty devious,” Bowser was forced to admirably admit. It also gave him an idea. “Isn’t it, though? I plan on creating several of them in order to easily do away with all of my enemies in my quest to rule all the lands,” she explained as she walked over behind Bowser’s shoulders, gently placing her long, thorny fingers upon them strokingly. “How would you like to rule by my side?” Bowser did his best to look devious, just like he did in the old days. “Why not?” “What do you mean, 'why not’? You have all of my brilliance and infallible plans right here at your disposal with me. Unless, of course…” she looked with mock concern into his face, “… you simply no longer have the stomach for it.” “Oh, I don’t know,” Bowser lied. He was positive that he sounded convincing; after all, he used to lie quite masterfully all the time way back when. “I think I’m beginning to feel a few… TWITCHES of good old-fashioned EVIL stirring inside of me… you’re simply TOO vile a partner for me to resist and pass up!” “Now you’re talking, Bowser!” Cackletta then strolled over to some sort of large storage closet, opened it, retrieved Bowser’s shell, and carried it over to him. “Here,” she said, resting it leaning against the edge of the disc. “Slip into this.” Bowser’s eyes lit up. “You mean—?” “I do!” she said as she proceeded to start unfastening the koopa king’s bonds. “Oh, WOW, thank you!” he practically yelped in relief, partially due to his being set free, but also to sound convincingly submissive. Once he was able to stand up, he picked up his shell, holding it in front of himself. “Just turn around a second, willya? I’m kinda shy.” “But of course, DAAAH-ling,” she twittered as she turned her back to him. “But hurry! Time is of the utmost essence!" Bowser watched her carefully to be certain she wasn’t looking, then quietly snatched up the pill
before putting his shell back on. “Ah! MUCH better!” he breathed in relief. She turned back around, “AAAH, I trust you are now comfortable again! Now we must be off - but first, a TOAST!” She produced a bottle of some strangely evil-looking champagne along with two equally evil-looking champagne glasses with evil-looking sharply crooked stems. Enthusiastically, she filled both, then turned and handed one to Bowser. “Ah, so evil in every way! I always adore an evil dame!” Bowser snarled in pretend swooning as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her, all the while managing to secretly plop the pill into the witch’s glass. When he finally released her, she breathed, “Aaaah, this is going to be SO delightful!” She picked up her own glass, clinked it to his, and they both drank deeply. After swallowing, she announced triumphantly, “To my absolute brilliance!” Bowser smirked at her. “AAAAAND you’re VERY special, absolutely BRILLIANT pill!” Cackletta frowned at him. “What are you talking about?” Bowser mimicked her voice sarcastically with, “'It LOOKS like an aspirin, it TASTES like an aspirin, but it ISN’T an aspirin!!!’” He then pointed at her with each following word while beaming openmouthed at her mockingly, “And YOU! JUST! ***SWALLOWED*** IT, LADY!!!” Cackletta stared disbelievingly at him for a moment. Finally, she managed to force out with faux confidence, “Oh, come ON, how gullible do you think I am, you stupid lunkhead?” before her body suddenly emitted a loud, wet-sounding ***FART***. Startled, she froze with realization for a moment. Then she looked in horror down at her own backside. Bowser was smirking while waving the air away in front of his nose. “Peeeeee-EWWW, BOY, you sure give new meaning to the term 'stink bomb’, don'tcha girl?” He struck an exaggerated pose as he pretended to calculate on his fingers. “Let’s see, why I DO believe that makes EXACTLY 999,999 more little bombs left to go! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to warn the others while you’re busy being the local area’s biggest supplier of natural gas!” He dashed to the nearest doorway, pausing just long enough to shout back, “Enjoy your takeover party with your crew! I’m sure they’ll all find you to be a real BLAST!” Then he was gone. Cackletta could only stand still in sheer horror as the depth of the situation sank in. Then she frantically stumbled towards her laboratory wailing, “ALKA-SELTZER!!! PEPTO BISMOL!!! ANY-THIIIIING!!!” - A few minutes later, Cackletta was frantically tossing anything she could get her hands on into a giant cauldron. “Antidote!!! Antidote!!! There MUST be an antidote!!!” ***FART*** She looked horrified. “Only 999, 964 left to GO!!!!!” She stirred and stirred wildly until the large spoon she was using melted. “AUUUUUGHHHHH!!!! MY BRILLIANTLY PERFECT PILL IS SO BRILLIANTLY PERFECT THAT EVEN ***I*** CAN’T COME UP WITH AN ANTIDOTE!!!! AUUUUUUUUGHHHHHH!!!!!" ***FART*** "AUUUGHHH!!! 999,963!!!!!!!” - A while later in a large room where the guards were busy fighting off the local authorities, everyone was suddenly distracted by the surprising sight of Cackletta frantically running through the room from one side in sheer hysterical panic before running out the opposite side. As she did so, they all heard the following: ***FART*** "87,000!!!” ***FART*** “86,999!!!” ***FART*** “86,998!!!” After she had passed through, one guard finally couldn’t help wondering aloud, “What the heck was THAT?!!” “I don’t know,” answered a policeman present, “but whatever it was, it sure STANK high heavens!” 
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