#(also doesn't help that I got no idea what to do 90% of the time lmao)

[so-i-did-this-thing]

You're the only person I know on Tumblr who I feel like I can send this ask so I hope this is ok.

I'm absolutely sick to my stomach terrified. People keep talking about not acquiescing early and to keep fighting and that's good but... I'm a trans person married to a trans person and we have a kid. We are so, so scared that we are going to lose our parental rights and have him taken away, even if he's biologically my partners. We are pretty fucking sure that the only way we could even possibly stay in the US and even possibly keep our family together is to detransition. But then we would still be queer, and I remember the 90s and how it was pretty recent that gay couples were considered unfit parents.

And this isn't us blowing things out of proportion, we have an education in politics so we've got a pretty good freaking idea about how bad things can and will get, but also we don't feel like we can afford to NOT take things extremely seriously. The worst case scenario is pretty horrific for us, so we've talked at lengthe about leaving the country. Which is it's own basket of heartbreaks because then there's a real chance we will never be able to come back. And I don't really feel like I can talk about it because a) the Internet doesn't feel safe to be trans on and b) there's been SO much chatter about how we need to stay and fight and people who can leave are privileged etc etc

I just... I'm scared and heartbroken and angry and I feel extremely hopeless. I guess I don't really have a question after all. I just needed to talk about it because it feels like not enough people are seeing this kind of true tragedy that could come from all this.

I wish there was actual help we could get. But there doesn't seem like there's anyone who can.

You're right, Anon - you're not blowing things out of proportion.

I want to say that I'm relieved in a sense that you are talking about where your lines in the sand are are and what you plan to do if they are crossed. There is hope and comfort to be found in a plan, even if it is a plan for the next generation's survival, instead of our own.

Every trans person needs to start thinking about real answers to the following questions:

What will I do if I'm fired tomorrow?

What will I do if I'm denied a loan? Housing?

What will I do if I lose my HRT?

What will I do if information about trans people is considered illegal to circulate?

What will I do if I I'm declared an unfit parent?

What will I do if my marriage is annulled?

What will I do if I'm declared unfit to own my own property or make my own legal decisions?

What will I do if I'm about to be arrested?

There are answers to all of these questions that aren't just "give up and die." But there's no one-size-fits all solution. People will have varying priorities based on how they see their role in fighting fascism and what resources they have access to.

Community is going to become incredibly important. Trans people have always existed. Sympathetic cis people have always existed. Trans people have always found ways to survive and even flourish, even though it often meant not being able to pursue their original dreams.

If you don't know where to begin with strengthening our community, the Trans Literature Preservation Project is a good place to get ideas. The virtual book burnings have already begun on .gov websites, so maybe doing a little preservation work will give you more hope that you're working to make a difference.

Because the work is important, even if the progress won't happen until after our time.

[zepskies]

Hi, how are you?

I was wondering if you could write something like "Dean reads you wrong" but with Sam Please

Hey, lovely!

I'm doing well, thank you. 💜 I hope you are too! Hmm, I'm still working through my current bank of requests, but since "Dean reads you wrong" is so fresh, it got me thinking about how Sam would go about this...

Pairing: Sam Winchester x F. Reader

Summary: It's hard for Sam to admit he wants you...when he thinks you might want his brother.

Song Inspo: "If You're Gone" by Matchbox Twenty

Word Count: 1,600 Tags/Warnings: Fluff, angst, fear of unrequited love, mutual pining

Imagine: Sam reads you wrong.

When Sam falls for someone, he's...well, what he would call self-aware.

But also cautious.

He knows his own track record with women. He knows the life he leads, and has resigned himself to giving up most kinds of normalcy or domesticity.

And maybe, a part deep in the back of his brain has given up on the idea of love.

That's why it's so damn confounding...how you've managed to take him by surprise.

He's always been able to rely on you. Whether it's sharing the brunt of the research with him when Dean loses focus, or staying up with Sam on late nights, sharing mugs of tea and quiet conversation, bonding over familiar tastes in books, and '90s grunge music, of all things.

You also confessed to him, late one night, that you have a growing collection of mugs, fuzzy socks, and vinyl records, despite the fact that your record player has collected more dust than the bunker's old storage room.

You're wonderfully weird.

And you're unfailingly loyal to who you consider "your people." And Sam thinks (knows) he's fortunate enough to be included in that small circle.

Sam also knows, deep in his gut, no matter how much he tries to "rationalize" it away, that you're special. And special to him.

You've managed to do more than just slip under his skin. When he thinks too hard on it, he can admit it (just to himself). You've infiltrated all four corners of his heart so deeply, he doesn't have a prayer of scooping you out.

Some days, it's all he can do not to reach out while you're chatting away, filling the silence.

He can picture it like a scene in his mind: of interrupting your mouth with a gentle hand on your cheek, tilting your face up to his and showing you, with or without words, that he wants you...

And yet.

He can't help but watch how you are with Dean.

You two tease each other, bicker and gripe over coffee grinds left in the coffee pot and who ate the last of the leftovers. You fight with Dean over the remote on movie night (once, damn near smothering him with a pillow).

But you also dote on him, making sure Dean has one of his favorite desserts every time you go out to buy groceries. You swap his beer out for water when he's not looking. (And though Dean frowns and grumbles, he doesn't argue with your raised brow and imploring look.)

It's not quite flirting, but it's not quite platonic either—at least in Sam's eyes. You and Dean seem to have something.

And sometimes, your playful banter with his brother makes Sam sick to his stomach.

Like today, when Sam’s sitting at the kitchen table reading while you're making a cup of tea. The silence between you two is amiable, like usual.

Sam steals a glance at you and has to smile.

"Going with purple polka dots today?" he asks.

You look over with knitted brows of confusion, until you follow his gaze. You laugh sheepishly and wiggle your toes through your fuzzy socks.

"The floor is cold as hell," you defend yourself.

Sam's smile deepens a fraction as he turns back to his book.

"They're cute," he adds.

You turn your face to hide your blush. The mild thunder of heavy boots announces Dean's presence as he pops into the kitchen.

"Oh good, you're cooking. What's for dinner?" he asks. You turn to give him a familiar narrowed look.

"Who says I'm cooking?" you counter.

"Well, you're doing something on the stove..." Dean peers over and catches a whiff of the concoction you're brewing. He grimaces. "Second thought, I'm good. That smells like ass, whatever it is."

You roll your eyes at him. "It's just green tea, Dean. You know, health?"

He levels a deadpan expression at you as he opens up the pantry.

"I see your 'health' and I raise you...Doritos," he says. He digs his hand into the bag he's just pilfered and crunches a mouthful in your face. You can't help but splutter a laugh and push Dean away.

"You're ridiculous. If you catch a heart attack at 50, don't come crying to me."

"Hey, at least I'll die happy."

"Oh, right. A silver lining there. I'd hate to see what your arteries look like," you tease.

"Has anyone told you that you're unsavory?" Dean asks, continuing to crunch with an open mouth.

You smirk. "Is that your way of calling me sweet?"

He snorts. "Sure, sweetheart. We'll call it that."

"You know, I'm not your sweetheart," you point out.

Dean discreetly glances his brother's way with a sly glint in his eyes. Sam doesn't see it; by now he's trying his damndest to keep his eyes in his book and ignore the way his stomach is clenching, chest tightening.

Dean shifts his attention back at you and reaches down to brush your chin with his thumb.

"Not yet, but you could be," he says, in a flirtatious edge that he's never quite taken with you.

You're wide-eyed for a moment. In the end, though, you choose to take it as teasing. You push his hand away and give him an annoyed look.

"God, you're such a clown. Order a pizza if you're that hungry," you rejoin, and you pour two mugs of freshly brewed tea. "I won't even bother offering you one."

"Nope," Dean says, popping the "p." He walks out of the kitchen, giving Sam a firm slap on the back. Sam coughs and shoots his brother a frown.

Dean has the gall to wink at him before he walks out. Like he's having his own little private joke.

Well, Sam isn't laughing. He stares down hard at his book. He tries to ignore everything he just heard and saw out of the corner of his eye.

It becomes too much. He takes up his book and heads out of the kitchen.

He just doesn't see the way you frown as he walks away. There you stand, left holding two mugs of tea for you and him.

Sam returns to his room for a while. He's not hiding. He's...reading.

There's a knock at his door, and if it's Dean, he swears he's going to open his mouth and tell his brother to leave him the hell alone, like he's some kind of moody teen.

But it's you.

"Hey," you greet, after the door creaks open. Sam softens.

"Hey," he says, clearing his throat. "What's up?"

"You," you reply. You bring him his hot mug of tea and set it down on the desk where he sits.

"Thanks," he says.

You nod and place your mug beside his (Lord of the Rings themed, of course), and cross your arms as you lean against his desk.

Sam turns toward you in his chair. His hands rest on his thighs. His gaze travels back up to your face as he tries to keep his neutral, but welcoming to whatever you want to ask him. (He buries his heart deep, as he instinctively does whenever you're near him.)

"You okay?" you ask. Your brows furrow the longer you gaze down at him. Just staring, like you know he's hiding something. Like you can see straight into him, into the shadows where he keeps most of his thoughts of you.

This is perhaps the only area of his life where he's a coward.

"Yeah, I'm good," Sam replies, in a tone that suggests, Why wouldn't I be?

You quirk a smile. "Why don't I believe you?"

Sam swallows. For once, he's not sure what to say to you.

"You know you can talk to me, right?" you say softly. You take a subtle step into his orbit, almost between his open legs. Your demeanor says that you'd gladly listen, do whatever he asked of you. Because you're just that kind.

Sam's mouth twitches upward. "I know. I'm fine, really."

"You're fine, or you're Winchester fine?" you raise a brow.

Sam chuckles then, showing a flash of his smile. It lightens you.

"Maybe a bit of the second one," he admits.

You smile and inch closer, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah? Tell me," you say. Your voice is soft, but not quite a whisper.

It leads Sam to sigh. He grasps your hand where it lies on his shoulder. For a moment, he debates internally. He realizes then that Dean's antics earlier might've been more than just teasing. Maybe it was a subtle nudge—to stop wasting time.

Damn it, just do something, Sam thinks.

When you squeeze his hand back, it's just the small push he needs. He glances up at you.

Then he takes your hand and holds it between both of his, with care. He tugs you forward, surprising you as you step forward between his legs. Your mouth parts in soft surprise when he reaches a hand up to your cheek.

You still look surprised, blushing up to your ears, but you're not pulling away. In fact, your widened gaze moves from his eyes to his lips.

Sam smiles. He tugs you down to him and enacts a living daydream, finally kissing you with everything he has. Everything he’s had locked inside.

You respond to his mouth in kind; the subtle gasp of breath against his lips sharply cuts off as you sink into his kiss. Your trembling hand comes to his cheek, grazing the dull prickle of stubble. When your fingers dive into his hair next, it’s his turn to take a deep breath.

With each new kiss, he explores more of you. His hands find your waist, and he gathers you against his chest. You find purchase on his strong shoulders and give into the opportunity to straddle his hips, sitting in his lap while he continues to make your heartbeat wild in your chest.

Sam slows the kiss, only because his brain is starting to catch up with his heart. He wants to see your face, to make sure this is what you want.

He finds that and more when he looks up at you.

He brushes a strand of hair behind your ear, tenderly brushing his thumb against your cheek.

"Does that answer your question?" he asks, with a soft laugh. You join him and press your forehead against his.

"I don't know,” you tease. Your eyes are dancing, both with amusement and relief. Because your heart has wanted this for even longer than Sam's.

You lean back in to whisper close to his lips. “Maybe I need a little more clarity."

Sam takes you at your word.

AN: It's been a long time since I've written for Sam! 💜 I got in another request for him a while ago. I may dust that one off soon... Until then, let me know what you think of this!

(And don't worry. I didn't forget about the Soldier Boy imagine I promised. That will come out at the end of this week, most likely!)

Read Dean's version: "Dean reads you wrong."

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[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved on our archive

By Jessica Wildfire

Our friends and family think they understand their immune system because George Carlin explained it to them in the 90s:

"Where did this sudden fear of germs come from? What do you think you have an immune system for? It's for killing germs. But it needs practice. It needs germs to practice on. If you kill all the germs around you, and lead a completely sterile life, then when germs do come along you're not going to be prepared. What are you gonna do? I'll tell you what, you're gonna get sick and you're gonna die and you're gonna deserve it because you're f-ing weak and you've got a f-ing weak immune system."

George Carlin was right about a lot of things, but he was wrong on this one.

(He got plastic wrong, too.)

Unfortunately, this part of his 11th HBO standup special became permanently lodged into the American cultural memory. I only saw it once as a kid, but it stayed with me for the rest of my life.

Not even AP Biology could dislodge it.

I, too, used to think you built your immune system up by exposing yourself to harmful germs. How could the great prophet George Carlin be mistaken on something that made so much intuitive sense, especially when you dropped a few f-bombs in there? I also thought it was a good thing to exercise your way through a cold. Then I opened myself up to the possibility that I was wrong.

In the words of Carl Sagan, I'd been bamboozled.

In early 2020, this Carlin bit inspired countless reaction videos that still litter the internet. Anti-science zealots have used George Carlin's monologue on disease thousands of times over the last four years to ridicule masks, vaccines, and clean air. Everywhere you look, that piece of standup looms in the background, and it's getting revived again for bird flu. But even George Carlin got the idea from somewhere else.

You can trace this misguided notion back to hygiene theory, proposed by David Strachan in 1989. Strachan argued that a whole range of health problems in the late 20th century had roots in "a lower incidence of infection in early childhood." Basically, our immune systems weren't getting enough exposure to bacteria and viruses. He was mainly talking about the rise in childhood allergies as the result, but the media began printing loose interpretations of his studies and jumping to conclusions that less exposure to disease was a bad thing in general. So the public developed the idea that somehow getting sick was good for you. So began the myth of the "bored immune system" that needed practice in order to stay healthy. Gurus and quacks latched onto this idea. So did talkshows.

And then comedians...

It wasn't until 2003 that Graham Rook offered a more accurate description of the situation. As he explained, "microbes have evolved into an essential role in regulating our immune system... the microbes involved are not infections, but friendly microbes which make up our human microbiome. These are acquired by exposure to other humans or animals and microbiota from our natural environment."

This became known as the "old friends hypothesis."

The old friends hypothesis now serves as the dominant model for how microbes work with our immune system. According to immunologists, kids need to be playing outside more and eating fresher, healthier foods. That's what helps their immune systems.

Getting sick all the time just hurts them.

Like many debunked ideas, hygiene theory and the myth of the bored immune system have become entrenched. A couple of years ago, hygiene theory got repackaged as "immunity debt." Now Americans, Canadians, and many Europeans think they need to get sick to stay healthy. The elites have absolutely no problem with that. It saves them countless billions to let everyone continue thinking they're better off letting diseases run around in their cells.

So:

Your immune system doesn't work like a muscle. It doesn't get stronger the more it's exposed to different harmful germs.

It doesn't need practice.

Phillipp Dettmer gives a vivid, accessible breakdown of the immune system in his 2021 book, Immune. You can show it to any internet troll who brags about their knowledge of the immune system. Dettmer destroys misinformation, explaining how your adaptive immune system actually works, as well as your gut microbiome.

As many articles and books explain, your body has an innate immune system that already knows how to fight off pathogens. You can help your immune system by feeding it the nutrients it needs. (That's an entirely different article.) You can protect your immune system from pollution, cigarette smoke, and other toxins. But genetics determines a lot of your immunological makeup. You can be born with an immune system that doesn't work the way it should, and it's not your fault.

You also have an adaptive immune system that stores chemical blueprints of pathogens in memory T and B cells. According to a 2024 article in Nature, these cells respond better to specific pathogens your body has seen before. Those blueprints last only as long as your memory cells. Sometimes those cells mature and stay around for years, even decades. If they don't, then your body won't remember the pathogen.

Your body doesn't need exposure to viruses.

Your immune system responds to harmful microbes and it can develop memories from previous infections. Most of the time, those memories apply specifically to that specific strain, variant, or clade of the virus. For example, immune memory to one type of adenovirus or rhinovirus doesn't confer automatic, guaranteed protection against all of them, and there are hundreds.

Sometimes, cross-protection can happen, but it's limited and hard to predict. When it does, like with the original smallpox vaccine, it's a big deal. If that were easy, we would already have a universal coronavirus vaccine and wouldn't have to update flu shots every year. Most of the time, getting sick with one virus doesn't train your body to respond any better to other viruses, especially when those viruses aren't related.

Victoria's state department of health puts it very plainly:

"The immune keeps a record of every microbe it has ever defeated, in types of white blood cells (B-lymphocytes and T-lymphocytes) known as memory cells. This means it can recognise and destroy the microbe quickly if it enters the body again, before it can multiply and make you feel sick. Some infections, like the flu and the common cold, have to be fought many times because so many different viruses or strains of the same type of virus can cause these illnesses. Catching a cold or flu from one virus does not give you immunity against the others."

You can add Covid to that list.

Some research has suggested that because catching one virus activates your innate immune system, your body's broad layers of defense offer brief protection against other pathogens. Viruses also compete with each other, meaning that infection from one virus can ward off others. That's called viral interference. Neither option means your immune system benefits from exposure to viruses.

We can't explain all of the human immune system in a single post, but here's the point. It's way more complicated than George Carlin explained. There's a lot more going on. It's not as simple as training your immune system by giving it practice.

That's not how it works.

It just sounds good.

No credible doctor or immunologist recommends building your immune system by welcoming viral and bacterial infections into your life. The costs far outweigh the benefits. Many viruses exact a price on your body and your immune system. Getting infected over and over again makes you weaker, not stronger. Vaccines don't work because they give your immune system practice. They work because they allow your body to develop a memory of a pathogen without all the risk.

Many viruses, like the flu, often leave lasting damage even when your immune system fights them off. Your immune system actually does some of that damage itself by attacking infected cells. In the wake of flu, your entire body including your immune system needs time to recover. During that stage, you're vulnerable to opportunistic infections. Other viruses, like measles and ebola, disable your immune system and even wipe out memory cells.

That's also what Covid does, among many other things.

You can't develop full immunity to viruses that evade, attack, and disable large parts of your immune system. Sometimes you can develop partial immunity, but the virus still invades and still does damage every time. Just because you can recover from these infections, that doesn't mean you're better off afterward.

Think of it like this:

Your body already knows how to heal its skin and bones. You don't have to teach it how to do that by cutting yourself or breaking your arm.

As it happens, many westerners also think bones grow back stronger after they're broken and scar tissue is tougher than normal skin.

That's also false.

Scar tissue remains functionally deficient in many ways compared to uninjured skin. Broken bones form a temporary calcium callus that's stronger than ordinary bone, but it's eventually replaced.

These misguided ideas fit in a culture obsessed with tough love, the idea that abusing someone somehow builds their character. And while it might make you interesting, it's certainly not "good" for you.

Sometimes I wonder what George Carlin would think about having one part of a standup special used to endorse bad science and eugenics. I'd like to think he would have a problem with it.

There's a lot you can do to boost your immune system.

Getting sick isn't one of them.

[preposterousjams]

My opinion on the Latino Jason Todd headcanon

While I do understand ppl's criticism of the latino Jason todd headcanon and how its kind of racist to make the kid with parents with drug problems as the latino one, to me its more of a reclamation BECAUSE of DC's racism.

Read any 80s/90s batman issue that covers gang violence and drugs, most if not ALL of the criminals are poc; black people and latinos visibly make up the majority in the poorer neighbourhoods in Gotham. Aside from the caricaturist way they r drawn/speak, its not THAT weird cause its a reflection of irl big cities where immigrants and marginalised ppl are often forced to live in such situations, (like most of my dominican family lives in the bronx... it aint racist to say dominicans tend to flock there), BUT...the weird part is when the second a sympathetic character comes from that area, he's white and has a name thats "too fancy for the streets".

Obviously, Jason was created to look like the old robin, so I can't say that the whole "diamond in the rough" situation was purposely a tad bit racist, but its still a lil weird (especially with bruce's comment).

If Jason were a part of the overwhelming demographic in his area, the good-kid-in-a-bad-area trope has less connotations. DC is currently trying to fix this trope is by making crime alley whiter, which isn't bad but they could've just yk... humanised the non-white residents.

I also feel like the messed up way Jason was treated post-death is what makes him so relatable to latino readers. His tragic story of dying while trying to save his only living relative is turned into a lesson for newer vigilantes. Jason's particular disdain for abusers on a few occasions was twisted (by both writers and characters) into him always being dumb, reckless, cocky, angry and disobedient, always violent, never having been able to get over his upbringing. None of those things were true (he was a normal level of reckless and cocky like every other robin, not more), but its an easier narrative to digest compared to how it was in reality; a kid who worked so hard and loved even harder, died to save a woman who couldn't care less about his existence. He was an emotional AND smart kid who wanted so bad to help others get better but was remembered as too emotional (in a bad way).

THIS is the reality for many latino diasporas in day to day life; Theres no question that Latino culture is passionate and emotive, but people from other cultures assume that it is followed by instead of logical. both can coexist. emotion does not mean u have no logic. Emotions can be irrational but they aren't inherently that way, and I wouldn't say that the moments where Jason lashed out as a teenager were irrational (in og runs, not rewrites post red hood), they were mostly done to protect someone (going crazy on abusers, disobeying batman to save sheila, that time he got into a fight at school to defend his friend).

A lot of euro-centric culture is OBSESSED with the idea that rationality is separate from feelings and emotions, but not crying at a funeral doesn't mean you're better than those who do. Emotions are the basis of human ethics and morals, they define the way we interact as a collective and ignoring them does not mean they are not there. Theres no winner to a contest of who can feel the less. And the way Jason's emotions are treated (pre-rh, hes definitely unhinged afterwards lol) is so in line with how white culture tends to punish those who aren't ashamed to feel.

I TOTES UNDERSTAND that some ppl who headcanon Jason as latino are doing it for the complete opposite of reasons, like "oh here some angry emotional guy with druggie parents, haha must be latino". Its weird. I dont like it. And its only brought up so he can swear in spanish in some rlly bad text post where his emotions are getting out. But to me there's so much potential for metanarrative and commentary on how latinos are treated in media that can be exemplified through the way his character is treated. Being latino would add SO MUCH DEPTH to his character and his dynamic with the others.

[brucewaynehater101]

I remember this one shot where tim & bruce swaps bodies while bruce is as batman in some jla meeting. Tim just continues it perfectly.

This is the body swap au, btw

Anyways, would Tim do a good job as Batman?. I think if Tim sees the swap as something brief he would do his best. (But we all make them swap long enough to Tim having enough time for long term plans) so if Tim gaslights himself into believing they would swap back after some weeks, he would do better. He thinks he can do better as a way to show he can be Batman without being a evil one(he's fighting the gun Batman allegations).

Still, it would be funny that in his "I'm gonna fix Bruce's life while am here plan".

Tim acts less as a classic moody batman while in the atalaya. Gives more and kind advice. He talks with Superman about his situation with Kon. He helps Flash with his eating schedule. He helps Arthur with whatever is going on in Atlantis. He shuts off all of the surveillance on Bruce's coworkers, just to mess with Bruce.

He just avoids Martian tho.

Then, it's been a month since the swap. They don't seem to find any way back. Tim cannot lie to himself anymore and the Batman duties are becoming way too much.

Then Bruce dies in Tim's body.

Tim never wanted to be Batman, neither to be like Bruce. But he messed Tim up. Tim never wanted to be like Bruce Wayne. And now he is living his nightmare, every day since Bruce death, Tim has to wake up and avoid his reflection. Tim never wanted to be like Bruce Wayne and now everyone call him the wrong name. Bruce died and Tim does what he does best, he sacrifices. He ditchs his identity any hope of being Tim Drake, so Batman can rise once again.

.

.

(The last paragraph is a little darker end of the version of this au where Bruce dies in Tim's body. I happily would read some of your ideas where none of them dies tho. There's just so many aspects os this au we can develop more, also we need more bruce pov of this).

Here is the post being referenced!

[I'm sorry to say that 90% of Bruce POV's are just gonna be him suffering.... I can try, though. Put up a valiant effort]

Let's really pack in that angst, shall we?

For this AU, Tim has been compared to Bruce so many fucking times.

At first, despite his shaky relationship with the grieving man, he took it as a compliment. He was like his hero Batman!

It started with Alfred fondly tutting over Tim's capacity to neglect self care duties and his shared interests. The older man would sarcastically ask Tim if he was following Bruce's footsteps of being a loner who sits in his basement all day (just teasing and joking and slight reprimanding).

Then there were the heroes that remarked on Robin's uncanny ability to do the batglare or translate Bruce's grunts.

When Steph and Tim got into arguments (and Tim was being a grade A asshole), Steph would compare Tim's emotional incapability and distrust with Batman's.

Dick, in the heat of the moment, has yelled at Tim to stop acting like Bruce (they got ice cream afterwards as an apology).

Jason has tsked and grumbled and shouted about Tim being molded into Bruce's shape/image.

Even Babs has made a comment or two.

While they didn't mean to hurt Tim (unless they were fighting [for which they would both usually make up and apologize]), it caused a small dig and insecurity to Tim's own self-image.

He wanted Bruce to be proud of him.

Tim wanted to be nothing like Bruce.

Then you add on the 16th birthday, Bruce's shit with Steph, how Bruce treats his other kids, other canon events, gun Batman, and Tim losing the rose-colored glasses of childhood?

Yeah. Tim doesn't want to be Bruce.

It seems fitting, after stealing Robin, that he'd get stuck under the name of the man he grew to see as a warning.

It figures that his choice in saving Batman lead to Tim's loss of self.

[Hmm... I can do another post chatting about Bruce or no one dying if you would like.... Or someone else dying before the truth comes out :)]

[eybefioro]

I was part of the #EveryFrameOfEden!! @gomensframes (go follow them it's awesome 💛)

This is frame 365! You can watch it (Slow and Fast version) or visit the website :D

(Timelapse and ramblings under the cut as usual!)

AAAAAAAAAAAAA

I. Am. So. Happy.

Doing this was fucking awesome. I hope I can do it again!!

So, you will see me tracing over at first. I did because I wanted to get the general placement of everything as close as I could, so I wouldn't be out of place with the frame before and after me – but everything else I did by myself. I know that doesn't sound like something special, but it is for me, bc this was the first time that I tried doing something more... huh, realistic? Not cartoonish? Anyway, it was something new, and for a first time I think it looks very good.

(BTW I know this is not realistic, but is as close as I ever got as painting something that way)

I had soooooo many ideas before I settled on this one. Making a punk fem!Azi with a snake earring, demon!azi, another princess angel cake, a cartoonist biblical angel with many eyes in various cartoon styles around, making an azi that is being built by many different floating parts, and so on... but in the end I went for a statue!Azi.

The idea was that Aziraphale really tries to be stern and "perfect" and angelic, be this statue, but he can't help but slowly let his inner self show. Everything around him is as monochromatic as him, but inside him there's a whole universe, a uniqueness that he shouldn't have.

That was cool in theory but then... making it work was hard.

I am not good at shadow and light. I understand it in theory but I don't have that much practice, and less so with making it look "realistic". But I thought. "I am basically copying the frame, what can go wrong?"

FAMOUS LAST WORDS.

This was so difficult to make it look nice 🤣 It was even worse bc I decided to make CURLS and FEATHERS. YALL. if you ever need proof that I torture myself here it is.

I had to zoom in and slowly built every part of this, trying to give it volume (and failing) only using the grey scale and gosh. I had a enormous admiration for artists like @/theonevoice (that go for a realistic look) before but now I... I don't even know.

I soldiered on, thinking that it was looking horrible 90% of the time and it worked. So. Yeah. It was an incredible exercise and I learned A LOT LOT. I figured stuff out as I went, and even if I am complaining, I loved it. It was great to see it coming together, and to slowly understand more how this works.

I also have to thank @elenthyaolyenths AGAIN because she's an actual angel. I was talking to her about this and asking for advice and (together with enduring my ramblings) she also made me think more about what I wanted to do, and suggested to increase the amount of cracks and that was just *perfect*. Thank tou so much Elen you're awesome 💛💛💛 (I still can't believe you're my friend and that you're so willing to share your knowledge with me aaaaa)

Maybe I should draw more Aziraphales in the future, I still like many of my initial ideas for this one :D

[sunrisecaminus]

Tfp Megatron with autobot fem bot reader who tries to dom him but quickly fails 😭 nsfw of course

Message - This is a great idea, I laughed just thinking about it.

Megatron x Vehicon Reader NSFW

Summary - Decepticon Soldier tries to over power her leader. This was plan that she regrets later.

Warning - NSFW

You have been known as a favorite amongst the lower ranks. Megatron has seen you since before the war and you were one of the many first bots to go into the Decepticon Faction. He has been proud of your work and you have been ranked as a Sargent, being able to take charge of your own little Vehicon group. You are still known as a low rank Vehicon, even Breakdown is higher then you. It was a nice rank, not to low and not to high for you to be stressed about and not have too much work. Megatron still respects you as an individual, and doesn't put you in with the other soldiers. You are one of the rare few that could tease Megatron without dying first, which is always an amazing accomplishment.

Starscream, of course, hates you and tries to get you in trouble a lot of the time (If he cares about how much you are succeeding). There was one time he shot a missel, which totally destroyed a mine shaft and blamed it on you. At the time he had a lot of evidence to frame you, so Megatron was surprised you would do something so impactful for their war efforts, but was furious. Thank Primus you quickly explained the situation before he got close enough to hit you, because if you didn't, you would not be here today. After that incident, Megatron asks you if something was true before he gets pissed off. It was also one of the many reasons he doesn't trust Starscream with any report, so he lets Soundwave handle them. Megatron didn't think about you a lot in the beginning of the war; You were nothing to him like every other mech that was not in the high command. Now a days, you have caught his attention a lot more than he wanted to admit. Every mission you have was a 90% success rate, you returned to the ship at good times, and you never got caught most of the time. The one thing he liked about you as well was your personality, cocky, confident, and had a sharp tongue when it comes to wit. He figures he wouldn't be too angry if you were injured, but damn would he be disappointed about it. He has enough patience with you as much as he does with Soundwave, which was pretty good for a soldier like you. The only time he got physical with you was when he was blinded by rage and almost threw you off a cliff, but you soothed him before he could do any damage he would regret later. Megs wasn't even mad about something you did, and after what happened he knew he needed help with his anger problems…and how he uses his strength.

Right now, he was called by Starscream that Optimus was in the area he has been scouting and the soldiers are fighting his squad. Megatron transported there as fast as he could, as it has been a few months since he was able to face his mortal enemy. After the fight, he was told the total death and injure count of what happened at the battle. It was a tie between them, as both had to retreat from the unstable rocky cliffs they were fighting on. Megatron hated draws, it was worse then losing in his mind. He was already not in a good mood when Starscream was bragging about his fighting skills, when he spots you from far away, trapped in between some rocks. Your left leg and arm was trapped, but you didn't want to call for help because you felt like it would make you look weak in front of Megatron if you told him. As you were attempting to carve the rock, your body starts to be covered by a large shadow that is coming from behind you. Turning around, you gasp from Megatron being right there in front of you. "My liege! You do not have to worry about me, sir. I will be able to get out soon." Now you were sweating from him watching you struggle, as you carved a bit of the rock that was pressing against your arm. He stood up straight and stayed where he was, not wanting to help you just yet. "Which one put you in this predicament?" Laughing nervously from the question you get your arm free. "That yellow car, Bumblebee. He didn't have the spark to end me, so he left when he knew I couldn't fight anymore." Megatron rolled his eyes, hating how much of a coward those Autobots were. Thought, he was glad that nothing fatal came your way.

You feel the rock on your leg gets picked up, Megatron throwing it to the side. "Oh, thank you sir. What do we do now? We can try to catch up to them." Megatron was surprised you were still ready to fight; Your leg was bent a bit, but he could see you clench the knife in your hand to show him you still had fight in you. "No, we will take the injured and get Knockout to do his job. Tomorrow we can start tracking for their base again. We must be close." Megatron turns and walks away, ending the conversation to go through the ground bridge that Soundwave just placed next to him. You go with him and is sent to Knockout to help you with your leg. Knockout tends to you, and you laid there to think about what else you can do today. Your leader is a very grumpy mech that seems to want to do something else other than fight. He seemed bored for so long, wanting something knew to happen. Earth got him motivated again, but after staying here for a few years, he has been getting back to feeling like the days are going by slower. You finally got a risky idea…hopefully you don't die for this plan. Knockout watches your expression changes into a smirk and he sighs. "Don't do anything stupid, I just buffed you."

Megatron was walking in the hallways to go back to the brig, the doors open and he finds something that bewildered him. Soundwave was gone for a mission with others so the only person that was in the room was you. You were sitting on his thrown, knees spread with your back lazily leaning back on the chair. You gave him a smirk, which made him tilt his head. You never did something like this before, it was crazy to see one of his best soldiers do something that would have them killed in seconds. The fact he is able to compose himself, trying to understand what you are doing before he blasts you out of the fucking chair. "What is the meaning of this?" He sounds like he was keeping his cool. Megs hopes to Primus you weren't turning into another Starscream and has a trap for him if he stepped closure. You cross your legs together in a slow, sassy way. "You don't like it? I wanted to protect your space so some jet wouldn't try to steal it again." His eyebrow raised, knowing you were lying out your ass. You did look good right now, but you always did to him. "I feel as though there is something more than that." He walks over to you and stands a foot away from his chair, staring at you like you were not suppose to be there. "I understand you wanted something different, so I thought maybe I could give you some sort of surprise. Nothing more." You brush your pede against his lower leg, rubbing against it to be more sensual while you talked. Megatron now understands what you were doing and narrowed his optics. What a curious little doll trying to act like she owns the place to make him feel such a warm way. You were doing something he knew was a life or death situation, which was a surprise to him how daring you were.

The second you try to raise your leg more to rub against his upper leg, you feel his hand quickly grab you by the throat. You yelped from such a quick motion as you are raised in the air and put against the wall. The fear set in, but his free servo touching your hip got you to know that you won. "What a snake you are, y/n." Megatron grumbles in your ear, feeling him press himself against you. You needed to try to get your way again, so you glide your servo on his cheek to try and keep your dominance, though it was lost immediately when he bit down on it when he felt you. The scream that comes out of your mouth made him understand you quit. Megatron chuckles and licks the mark he gave to you on your palm. "How dare you try to get your way with me like that. You need to know your place." He flips you around, so now you are facing the wall with him behind you. He presses you against the ship, rubbing your aft with his other servo. You moan from the pressure, arching your back a little to show him how much you are loving this. Megatron smirks and pops his panel, pressing his spike in between your legs. Gasping from the sudden touch, you desperately try to open your panel for him, wanting him inside of you this second. He watches every movement you make, looking at your valve coming into light as you play around with it to tease him. The more you toyed with him, the more he was going to be a bit rougher. He slaps your aft which made you straight yourself again and keep your hands against the wall. "You are so disrespectful to your leader. Why don't you relax and let me do the job."

You were going to say something cocky, when his spike is shoved inside your tight valve, making you scream. Grabbing your hip with one servo while gripping your helmet with the other, he pounds you like there was no tomorrow. He loved destroying you like you deserved it, honestly he was starting to feel better than how he was a few hours ago. Watching your valve closing and stretching over and over was putting him in a entranced spell. You released, but he kept going like he didn't even know you just cam. Everything became a lot more sensitive and you started to just become a moaning mess. If anyone was in the hallways next to the room, they could probably hear you screaming, even if the walls are thick. Megatron would keep going until it was his time to cum, but that was going to take while. You feel yourself cumming for the second time, and you needed him to stop from how much you were feeling right now. Your sensitivity was through the roof and he was still pounding your valve without slowing down. "Ah! Megs! S-slow dow-ah!". He hears you begging for him and he quickened the pace. Your back was fully arched and your head was pushed against the wall a bit more before he slams inside you for the last time, jamming all his juices inside of you. He pulls out and takes a breather, letting go oh your helm to let you relax. Your body drops on the floor, your ass aching from the abuse it just went through. Panting, you try to get up with your pedes shakily pressing against the ship's floor. Seeing you struggle, he grabs your frame and carries you off somewhere. You didn't know where he was going, until he places you down on his birth. Holy scrap, you were in the warlords birth room. You looked over to see him open the door again. He looks back at you and gives you a cocky smile. "Stay there, I am not done with you." He leaves, making you lay there to regret all your choices up until this point.

[toopimpabutterfly]

Nightangel but as in Warren though having an outward angelic appearance is flawed and broken, easy to succumb to temptation and his own morals of right and wrong, a man who will not be willing to say revenge isn't worth it. A man who self mutilated himself from a young age trying to hide himself, a man of raw emotions, left split from his teenage years and then Kurt.

Kurt who is a man of greater faith than Warren, who I'd believe would be more spiritual than religious, he sees people to be redeemed and redempted. He admires Warren as a angel at first but throughout their time getting older he sees how flawed Warren is and how broken he is and Kurt doesn't care, doesn't care that an angel is so similar to everyone else. Kurt who wants to hold and love him for him, that final moment where everything clicks and there's peace. Though his outward demonic image to some he is trying.

Warren 100% gets diagnosed with some mental problems down the line considering his self hatred he'd have at a young age, a hate for his family, and his own self worth. Anyways I have an au about these two that idk if I want to actually draw our or write but I'll continue down here, these are some key points I have in my mind

So Warren's doctors knew from a young age he had the X Gene and such, he got it through his mother who in this AU of mine is Native. So yes Warren is mixed ❤️ jus light skin ANYWAYS, he's caught cutting his wings and ripping into his skin, this leads to a hospital visit, a long argument, ect.

Warren's mother has a mental breakdown and is deemed clinically insane and sent away/or in another draft kills herself one day while Warren is at school, returns to her dead (?) ((not very sure yet)) this leads to him not being able to remember her face for a very long time from trauma.

At 16-18 Warren is 'sent to a boarding school' aka just bluntly kicked out to fend for himself as he's been doing vigilante work, during this time he meets Kurt who's also doing similar work.

They form a duo and an odd bond, Warren believes some people cannot be redeemed, Kurt believes otherwise. Also if Warren's mother really does kill herself in the final draft he will have the gun she killed herself with on him as part of what he uses. Cuz. Why not! My favorite comics are Preacher and Hellboy. What'd you expect?

Another key plot point would be Warren having a mental breakdown and returning home to try and kill his dad, Kurt needs to make a choice here and I have two ideas for this plot area

Kurt assists in the murder to comfort and quell Warren, Kurt helps Warren calm down who can't pull the trigger on the man who hurt him and he doesn't understand why he can't

Some other funsies, they're 100% trauma bonded👅❤️, they admire each other's scars and their bodies, matching tattoos 100%, probably would be based on the 90s for the more grungy edgy aesthetic

Warren's trans what'd you expect tf

The name that's really sticking in my mind is Genesis for the idea of the project lmao

[star-lights-up]

Erik who works at a customer service call center and Charles who wont stop calling in because he wants to talk to Erik

(i’m bored and decided to bother you with this random idea)

Ohhhhh I love this!! This is so cute.

----

I can just see charles, the old professory fart that he is (even in his thirties) having no clue how to work the new website the college is having the professers use for their classes.

Naturally, he calls the customer service line -- and it gets answered by this really sexy sounding guy with a german accent.

----

Now, Erik, who's been floating around, well, the world, really, for the past... well, forever, really, no family, few friends, has just landed himself in America for the first time. One of those friends (probably Emma) gave him a low-level customer service job at one of their locations in the states, just for while Erik's getting settled and until he can find some real work as [insert job here. No, I'm not lazy. it's like mad libs].

The problem is that he's got a really thick accent, so he's been having this totally shit first day (lots of people asking him to repeat things, him stumbling over his words as he gets more and more frustrated with them and himself, supervisor glaring at him for how long he's taking).

Then this posh sounding guy (a complete idiot, by the way -- who can't figure out where the menu is on a website!? Click the fucking waffle in the corner) who gets everything Erik's saying right away.

Thanks to posh guy's attempts, they begin to strike up a bit of a conversation. Erik says that he's from Germany, but has been floating around a little. Posh guy says that he's lived in the states for most of his life, but was born in england and went to college there. He even speaks German -- something he attributes to his mutation, telepathy. Erik's ecstatic to learn that posh guy is a mutant -- the first mutant he's talked to in the states!!

Erik's supervisor is glaring daggers at him, and he's sure he's on the verge of being fired, so he tells posh guy that if he doesn't need any more help, he's got to go. Posh guy bids him farewell.

By some miracle, erik's not fired. And then posh guy calls again the next day -- and the next, and the next, and the next, and then one day he leaves his number and says for Erik to text him.

-----

Charles gives sexy accent guy his number and tells him to text anytime since he figures the man could use some friends here in the states. Charles knows what it's like to move around a lot, anyway -- between going back and forth from England during his childhood and back and forth between his parent's houses, he's got some experience. And the world is getting better, but it's still not super friendly to mutants.

Also, maybe, they could meet up sometime. And maybe sexy accent guy is sexy in person too.

Sexy accent guy texts him.

Hello

Also, my name is Erik

Charles grins at his phone, introduces himself, and puts forth the idea of lunch this weekend. A restaurant he frequents, not too near his apartment or his work, lots of people. The worst thing that could happen is that Erik is a 90 year-old-man, and even then, Charles could do with another friend.

Erik, after a few minutes of radio silence, agrees.

"Charles, this is probably the dumbest thing you've ever done." Raven sighs over the phone.

"Raven-"

"No, really. The dumbest. He could be a total psycho, or eighty, or-Why! Why, why, why would you do this?"

Charles lets her scream at him, putting his phone on speaker and lowering the volume (that, he knows how to do). She'll go on for a while -- he can read the paper while she does.

But of course, when Charles gets to the restaurant, there's this tall, hot guy with steel gray eyes and auburn hair standing outside. He pulls out his phone to text Erik, trying to ignore hot guy -- and then said guy's phone beeps.

"Erik?" Charles chances an ask. The man's eyes light up. He straightens, stepping forward, hand extended.

"Yes. You must be Charles." And there it is -- that sexy voice. He doesn't smile, really, not yet, but there's a look on his face that makes Charles know he really, really, really wants to see Erik smile.

(He does by the end of lunch -- it's a lovely smile).

(He's also kissed him by the end of lunch. He had a glass of wine, okay? Raven warned him not to, and he did anyway. He has no one to blame but himself. Thankfully, Erik didn't seem to mind at all).

(Erik's really fucking glad Charles kissed him first. He wanted to as soon as he saw him, really -- though that would've been wildly inappropriate -- but there was no way he'd have the guts to do it).

(Charles takes to calling the customer service line at his work and flirting in between his inane questions, making Erik blush and his boss glare at him. Honestly, he can't say he even minds).

-----

Is this.... anything like you were hoping for? XD Thank you!! This was a fun write after a tiring day -- good to stretch my brain and do something creative! Honestly, might turn it into a fully written oneshot at some point (if that's okay with you!!) Have a nice day/night, I hope your trip is going well!! <3

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Popular consensus is that one day Alastor is going to eat Valentino.

So imagine if he did.

Angel is now free, Alastor on the otherhand is curled up in the Bayou with severe stomach cramps and drugged up on so many toxins it's surprising he hasn't developed spidey senses, wishing he'd thought with his head instead of his stomach and just stabbed Valentino with a Angelic Steel dagger.

Imagine if Valentino is the key to making Alastor swear off Canibalism and this time he means it. Rosie trying to talk him back into it because Alastor's deer is a Wendigo and unlike regular black eyed cannibal's who can quit with sufficient willpower Alastor will actually starve without sinner meat.

Funny if the Hazbin Hotel try to convince one of their staff to go back to canibalism because watching Alastor starve, die, regenerate and starve all over again because he is 90% of Pentagram's stubborn pride, is awful.

On the one hand, that's HILARIOUS

On the other hand, Alastor's from a time of bathtub gin and moonshine stills and cocaine in cough medicine. I feel like he'd take the hit like a champ, but still have indigestion about it...

Charlie asks aunty Bel, the sin of Sloth and also the paragon of healing in hell, for like... a demonic antacid...

If they did a urinalysis test right now it'd have Everything.

Every station in Hell and on earth is playing simultaneously on the radios beccause he's not in control and it is LOUD. Charlie goes to confront him about it because maybe it's in lieu of being able to broadcast screams (the whole thing happened in an ambush that went bad for the moth much to Al's delight)...

and she finds him like:

this man is looking through dimensions.

Lucifer, being the ass he is, finds it fucking HILARIOUS.

-----

On the other hand, the idea of each one of the hotel team bringing random people to the hotel and parading them past the clearly hungry but revolted Alastor like 'this one? you want a chunkier model? more lean? too much fur?'

is hilarious, I love it.

Lucifer offers to find something in the right flavour because Charlie is beside herself watching the wendigo starve... and she already veto'd just letting him kill the sinner for good. Twice. She made it clear if anything happened to the deer she would be coming for him next.

"You keep this up, Bambi, and I'm going to make you the sin of this ring because I'm starting to think you've got a more ridiculous allotment of Pride than I ever did..."

"...given the amount of paperwork you've been ignoring for literal centruries, your majesty, I honestly would prefer to double-die than manage that role..."

And that gives the King (and Charlie who was prompted into it) an idea.

"Alright, you wanna ignore the ever-present cannibalistic hunger and whatever? How about you help me with the fucking nightmare of paperwork, and I get them to stop shoving sinners in your face for food reasons?"

"A Deal? With me, majesty? Why... how interesting."

"I'll fistbump you for it, if needed, but let's not use the D word. It's an agreement... I guess."

"If you want to suck the joy out of it, like you've been doing to Princess Daddy Issues for years, then I will have to acquiesce..."

"Oh you absolute FUCKER-..."

And the library was about to get rearranged but Lucifer paused when he realised the other was too deep in his sravtion cycle to even pose a threat. Which pissed Al off more but really, what can he do but hiss and spit?

And that's how it starts. Alastor doesn't really eat other foods, except for the chance to feel (briefly) 'full' despite it being about the same empty calories as a plate of fairyfloss. It's not helping but it can make his stomach shut up for a while.

It's intriguing the lengths the others will go to keep him fed despite it all, Alastor thinks as he's fed a strawberry milkshake with an odd edge to it. But perhaps it helps to some degree, because he does feel a little better...

And then there was a very heartfelt attempt (they were close but someone held back on the spices, one should NEVER hold back on the spices) on several meals he'd made in the past. Again, not actively nourishing, but... perhaps spiritually, as much as physical satiation for a moment. To let him concentrate on anything else.

The paperwork was diabolical, though. The letters and missives alone were dated even millennia back. How had this gone so violently, disgustingly wrong? Well, anyone could see the King was quite... detached and depressed, but really. He had entire courts of Goetia who got aroused by parchment, could he not have asked one of them to be secretary? Maybe a judicious office of hellborn?

Give them a chance to move up in the world and secure a better future for their families over the centuries. Even just sorting this into piles would have been some form of efficiency.

When Lucifer first showed him the ballroom sized piles of crumbling paper and ominously glowing objects, he'd been a bit put off... but he had poppets to help-... ah, of course. Not at this time.

It was only when he realised this was one of many rooms filled with the mess that he really felt the existential dread of hellish punishment. But his pride insisted he could do this.

His shade was good at categorising as well, they worked as two sets of hands with a mind fast enough to split between them. He paused to check in on the hotel, or when someone brought a meal, or simply to let himself die for a bit before getitng up (the palace staff were quite gracious about it, they often left a pillow under his head, a blanket over him to prevent chill and a bottle of water outside of reforming flail-reach, for when he returned to life).

It took a few weeks, but eventually, half the room was overturned into piles of paperwork with chronological order to them. He did read or skim most of it to decide if it was current, hstorical, worth putting in a quick report, or for the pile for the trash.

Imps often popped in for the piles when they got too large, and would take notes if he explained any updates for the king. Such as an intriguing odd series of accounts about Envy, and an outbreak of hynarian pox in Greed that seemed to be cyclical. Almost every 12 months on the dot, actually, around tax time... Mammon was really pulling the one with bells on, wasn't he?

Let Lucifer deal with the idiot.

Alastor justified this all to himself by seeing this not as creating order from chaos, but instead organising the chaos into piles of future misery, sowing future chaos, and being able to use words to topple sins. How the little king's face paled when he saw hidden missives from the Sins begging to meet Charlotte, all hidden away in different corners of the rroom and his heartbreak at realising this was deliberately done?

How fascinating to eavesdrop on Lucifer calling different sins and goetia to account for things in reports they thought long-since brushed under the rug... as he reminded them that he was eternal, and judgement could be just as long if they attempt to play these games.

How... oddly endearing to see him overturn a conviction against a hellborn falsely accused (and the evidence was Right There, Satan was just being a big bad tough cowboy swinging his genitalia about like he owned the place, ugh). Sometimes, though, centuries too late for the individual, but a pardon to the relatives was appreciated and lifted some of the social stigma of the censure from them all.

It was not Nice that the King was finally doing his job, but it felt less... stale in the ring, now. Like things were chugging back to life, no matter how the engine spluttered and fought back , bellowing smoke (or hellfire in the case of Satan during what Alastor liked to think of as his Little Tantrum the other day).

The damned lizard had dared to imply that Alastor and the report writers / appeal seekers / clerks of his own court were all falsifying records. It had taken a few moments of pure revulsion to tap about on the phone Charlie had insisted Alastor have (though he held it like one does a full vomit-bag) to find a video of the most recent court drama for proof. Against one of the princes, no less.

And that, of course... had been delicious drama.

He'd actively asked his shade, and the few poppets he could manifest now, to seek out more on this matter and found a few propositions and appeals and requests about the matter. Collating it and putting it before ucifer with a pointed missive about how he felt the whole thing was a joke, and that the guilty party had been rewarded... and a request to please let him at least try eating a goetia to see if that might help things.

In all truth, if he'd met an Andrelphus or Stella when he was alive, they'd be in his cooking pot so swiftly the self-righteous bastards wouldn't even have time to call their daddy to ask him to get a lawyer. Spoiled rich brats with no empathy always stepped on others... and to blatantly try to murder Prince Stolas for his power? Well, expected for Sinners but not Goetia. But to do so when the ffather was, for all Alastor could read into it, the only one showing any level of love and care to their child together... whom Stella seemed to see as a key to power?

Hmmm. He couldn't help but feel a sympathetic pang of resonance for this goetia princess, and see a trace of his mother in Stolas. Sentimental nonsense, of course, but... Stella and the peacock fellow seemed like all the worst traits of the people he'd murdered slapped into two overpowered bodies.

Lucifer, infuriatingly, had told him no. Then amended that he would love to see Alastor throw down with a Goetia and he might even be inclined to give him a boost just to watch the insufferable pair crumble (they'd been part of a group of Goetia just fawning over him since he'd come back to power in a flagrantly false attempt to covet favour and Lucifer apparently had the same distaste for it that Alastor did when newer sinners tried to cozy up for no-deal based protections)... but right now Al was more likely to throw up and die than anything.

Asked if maybe Al would like a sinner? What if they sauteed it or put it in chilli or whatever that spice was that made even him hiss in surprise the other night?

Alastor coldly turned it down and left. "I'm going to eat both of them... I rarely choose a female victim, so do let this shrieking harpy and his sister know how honoured they are."

He doesn't notice, as the first room clears to almost nothing but a few tables of paperwork, that he is getting more strawberry milk than usual. Meals are done when focused on different tasks and letters. It's easier than to try and fight himself.

Perhaps there's somehting in it, in the hearty stews and unusually sweet pastries he normally abhors, that is helping. Because suddenly he can conjure more poppets...

Perhaps they grew complacent, then, because it was working. As, one day as he was midway through a rather ludicrously long report [about one Goetia being entitled to land from another but their third cousin's sister's uncle's best gardener's fourth son's preschool teacher had broken an agreement with both parties and blurred a legal line. He'd read it eight times and the nature of the complaint only grew more bizarre as he read it... Alastor had started checking the damn thing for cyphers, just in case this was some other hidden meaning to this frivilous nonsense] he absently bites into a sandwich and is halfway through the next before the taste catches up.

...there's no denying it's not breef or chimkin or pyork or whatever the feesh situation is down here. That's sinner. Well-cooked, and fantastically seasoned but unmistakeable.

He would get the best from raw meat, but this... this also would be helping. He's suddenly aware of how well-spiced his meals have been, how carefully flavoured everything he was brought had been.

It wasn't the fault of the lovely little imps who ran the food back and forth, (he'd taken pains to learn their names because the idea of treating them as faceless entities appalled him... for various reasons, and not merely because his mother had been some faceless maid to be treated as the owners willed). This was planned.

He tips the milkshake over... now he thinks about it, it was an odd choice for every meal, no matter what was served. The liquid spilled across the table... and then a few gluggy strands of something red that was clearly NOT strawberry flavouring eeked out at the bottom.

Ah.

The cakes though? He'd seen no way to hide blood or bone or sinew or flesh in them? A thought occurred, like a lightning bolt. Surely not?

They had had caramel and buttermilk frosting, he didn't normally enjoy such things, but they'd tasted... too sweet. Much like the angelic delicacies from after the extermination... he was certain if he watched the kitchen he'd catch angel blood being slipped in a drop at a time. Rosie was behind that one, he's sure.

She'd sent him boxes of fingers, but he just didn't feel for it... and gave them to Niffty and Mimzy apiece. They couldn't go to waste.

Rosie'd even tried bringing him a still-trembling heart a while back, and that had done nothing but give him a headache as the revulsion and hunger started a war between them. She'd also offered it to Charlie, as a way to 'ensure a growing gal has the strength of her enemies to rely on' which had turned the princess the most charming shade of Green that it'd really lightened the mood.

She'd also offered him a piece of her flesh, which Angel had initially shouted something lewd about and 'eating her out right' until he recognised Rosie was rolling up a sleeve and offering Al her arm. Watching Angel look like he was ready to jump off the hotel roof had almost been distracting enough to help Al ignore the equally enticing and disquieting lure of Rosie's flesh.

It's not unusual for close friends, family and even lovers to share bits of flesh as a means of bonding, of helping one another regnerate, and the like. He'd lost more than a few little chunks here and there and once a whole arm to Rosie... and at least a finger to that damned Susan, but she was the kind of ornery bitch you wanted to keep around, if only to use as a shield during Exterminations. He desperately hoped to one day see her demand to speak to heaven's manager and bully her way through the gates. It would be DELIGHTFUL!

He'd turned it down.

Rosie had threatened to tell Vox, and you know the man would send him eight interns all sauteed, in a heartbeat. Despite their tiff... they were friends once. Also they wanted to kill each other, Vox was more likely to send his own arm over to avoid Alastor dropping dead to this pathetic fate of starvation, than anything.

Ah, Vox. This had the digital fingerprints of the boxy fool all over it. just the sort of thing he'd done when Alastor had been severely injured back in 1962 and refused to seek help, but the infected wound refused to heal or kill him. Vox had slipped medication into bowls of warm blood and pretended Alastor was just healing normally later on. They'd fought about it, naturally. But had Alastor not done the same later n slolwy reattuning a broken pathway for Vox, when the other was too stubborn to have it fixed by a professional?

A wave of comforting static and his own would be slowly repairing and nudging it into place until ,w ta dah! it worked miraculously one day. 'See, I knew it would heal...' Vox said, and realised what had happened. They fought then too.

How long had they been slipping bits of sinner in his meals?

It's not like he could die forever like this, it was a mere inconvenience of several days dead... but he could come back.

To ignore his choice and-... and it was so obvious that it was working, wasn't it? His poppets? The extended periods between death cycles? Being able to play the radio without a physical one close by... they must all be patting themselves on the back, at having pulled one over on the radio demon.

He was growing FURIOUS.

He was growing... period. It'd been nearly six months since he was last able to manifest his demonic form, and while it felt shaky and tenuous, it was as exhilarating as always. He broke a wall entering the hallway and was still surprised that he could stand upright in there, with only some antler scraping. Given how tiny Lucifer kept himself...

But then, he did used to entertain Sins in their intermediary forms, all towering power but not the full unfettered selves they could be. Of course they'd need the space.

He's not really thinking of anything but his rage and humiliation and indignation as he slams open the door to the throne room.

Lucifer pauses mid-conversation with a smug-looking Asmodeus and a furious but cowed looking Mammon. "Oh... well, I'd ask you not to get mad, but I'm assuming you aren't feeling like letting me explain."

"Did you think it was funny?" he snarls, the stitches pulled and even snapped in some locations as the form fought him. The little king, oh so squeaky-toyy like with their size differential, walked over to him, waving the sins away.

"I mean, I did... at first, but you know how important you are to Charlie... and it was killing her seeing you that way. All of them, for some reason, have an insane attachment to you despite the fact you're a-... I'm not listing off your resume, I know you consider those your good points."

Alastor croches, hands bracing himself so he can look the little King right in the eyes. "Then WHY?"

"Because they care, you fucking idiot, and seeing you die over and over again for something so stupid was ridiculous. You're lucky I didn't let the TV guy have his way, he wanted to try hypnotising you..."

"It doesn't work. It's never worked, same frequency..."

"Usually? Sure. Now? I stiff wind could have killed you. What would you have done if someone had demanded a battle? Just let Hunk and Nixxy go to whoever defeated you? You're an ass, and you definitely should apologise for the threat to the cat guy, yeah i saw that i have like a dozen eyes here deer-boy, but you don't seem to actually hurt them. Not like the moth guy you killed... not like some of those you killed before."

"So why not? Why set up ths charade of paperwork... just to trick me to eat?"

"Well, it was this, or one of three other options and you would have HATED them. Charlie was going to do intensive hug therapy everyday for two hours to build self esteem and positive-talk or mindfilled-mess or whatever it is you through the whole thing."

Alastor reared back in pure horror.

"Yeah, thought you'd say that. Option two was Vox... and option 3 was me letting Beezlebub up here to like, forcefeed you in her super peppy way, but I think you would have found angelic steel rather than that. And she's also... a hellhound sorta, and Hunk said you aren't a dog fan so..."

"You wanted to let a Sin force-feed me sinners?" Now he was just perplexed, especially if Charlotte was also involved in such a plan. That seemed like something she would sign off on. "And... I do not mind hellhounds, as long as they aren't sprung on me. However I stand by hurling the dog sinner out of the hotel, he was being vile to everyone..."

"The one that tried to hit on anything that moved and didn't like the word no? Yeah, I was going to make him play fetch with his own spinal column, you just got there first." Lucifer grmaced. He'd been hit on for centuries but... that was quite the experience. He normally loved dogs, but that one was (heh) barkin up the wrong tree with lines like that. And then he went to Char Char and Maggie to make a suggestion like THAT?!

"You didn't answer my question."

"Hunh? Wha-...? Oh, no. It's not funny to us, it's not a game... your little aversion and death cycle thing was freaking them out. You saw even Maggie-"

"Vaggie"

"Vaggie brought you sinner options, right? I thought she'd rather rip her wings off again than be part of that, but she volunteered. Because you might be an asshole, but you're the one they like around the hotel... and I don't think you're as annoying as you were when we first met. Although if you drop another piano on me, I 'm going to send you to Lust... wearing one of Angel's tiniest outfits."

The sheer horror that pulsed through Alastor at that moment...

"Hey, don't make it cound like that, Lulu! We're ALL about consent... people can wear what they want in my realm and it's hands-free baby." Asmodeus interjects, feeling his sin maligned. "No one would touch if you didn't want them to, but they sure might look..." he winks.

Those gargantuan ears flip back and forth in confusion.

Lucifer starts to laugh. "Oz, this guy would rather face an extermination solo than be in anything less than his suit in its entirety. It's exhausting... you know it's not the 30s anymore, right? You can show off an ankle without someone getting flustered..."

"I own several casual outfits, thank you very much, but I just don't think that anything Angel owns would be flattering on my form."

"They would." Okay, the king said that way too fast. "I mean, comparatively, you're about the same size and shape... I don't see why it wouldn't? Wanna test the theory? I got good at proportions when snapping clothes up for Lillith and Charlie..."

Radio static warbled and slipped into an emergency alert.

"Oh, and you mock the tv guy when you send him into a meltdown... but look at you, the idea of putting your wrists on display and you're the one buffering."

"You're stalling. Why are you stalling?" Alastor asks, feeling heavy and slightly dizzy. This conversation was not the confrontation he'd anticipated...

"Because in about ten seconds you're going to use up that burst of energy you got from the sinner meat and drop. Then, when you're less of a hazard to my ceilings, we'll talk."

Out of pure spite, he lasted eleven seconds, before the power dissipated, leaving him on his hands and knees, shaking. His ears pressed flat, hating to feel so vulnerable and defenceless right now.

Lucifer flopped to the floor next to him, wings haphazardly in all directions. "We don't have to fight, you know... I mean, we can when you're well, because it was fun to go head to head with someone who wasn't afraid of me... but, we're helping each other here. You've managed to work out nearly a millennia of paperwork in a few months and cleared out a whole ballroom through sheer bloodymindedness... and I'm keeping you as alive as I can."

"Wait, this is the administrative cu[clown honk] who got me dragged before you?" Mammon yelled, storming over and growing bigger.

Alastor sat back, glaring up at the sin. "Your own reckless stupidity brought you before Lucifer. You could have at least changed the times of the alleged outbreaks or fabricated a better ailment... it was like a child writing their own sick note and signing it 'My mum and dad' and expecting a teacher to believe it."

"Luce, who the fuck is this c[clown honk]? He's a spicy little bastard... with an attitude. No respect..."

"No deals between Pride and Greed, you know the rules." Lucifer sighed. One of his wings tried to block Alastor from view.

"Oi, I'm all about entertaining you know that, Luce... and he's the-... the radio guy right? I could make him bigger than that! You're cockblocking my progress!" Mammon whined. "Well, what about it? Working for Mammon gets you like, some sort of perks... not money, but something."

"At half my normal power I can reach radios, phones and any devices touching my airwaves in all the rings. The only boundary is not being able to push past the pentagram in the sky... much the same as the picture box. What could you possibly offer that I would care for?"

"Uh, fame?"

"Notoriety is more fun..."

"Bitches?"

"No thank you."

"A litle bit of money?"

"I own millions of souls, money has never been an issue for myself or for them."

"What? You PAY your employees? That's just bad business!"

"A well-paid and cared for soul is less likely to rebel, because then the money and the housing and the safety stops. You should try it... and not with that vile little mammon-coin nonsense you've been spouting. The hellborn may not know about scrip, but there are a lot of sinners who would go out of their way to ensure they learn, and rebel against you for such a heinous slight."

"Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"Alastor, the Radio Demon... displeasure to meet you, I'm sure. Do you always smell of fried chicken and flopsweat, or did you plan to impress us all with this cologne?"

Asmodeus flared brightly as he tried to hide his laughter.

"Alright, legend... let's fuckin' go! I'm gonna KILL YOU!" Mammon roared, and twisted into his gargantuan form.

"Oh, do go ahead... I've been doing it all week. What's one more regeneration?" Alastor sighed, rolling his eyes. "I'm not getting up, so do as you will..."

Lucifer was going to put a stop to this, but Mammon paused at the lack of reaction. "Er, hey... what the fuck mate? Trying to kill you here and you're not really living up to expectations."

"Well I'm certainly not going to start running around waving my hands in the air and shrieking, unlike you I do rather care for my dignity."

"Okay enough. Mam, we'll talk about the tax thing later... but you're also forbidden, by royal decree, to bother Ozzie's boyfriend or try anything. Including sending other people to try something. The little guy has been through enough."

"But he's my top earner!"

"Just do whatever with those twins from Envy, they're new and fresh and whatever right?"

"Eh, they're okay..." Mammon shrinks back to his normal size. "But don't you worry rudolph, I'll find something you want sooner or later and then you can run my ads throughout all the rings on your little talky show or whatever, get the oldies and the sinners all hot'n'bothered for me."

"Lucifer... if I said eating a sin would help, would you let me?"

There's a very long, loooooooooooooong pause of consideration.

"Hmmmmm, no..." Lucifer replied slowly, "I think he'd be a worse experience than the psychotropic moth was and we'd never get you to eat again..."

"Hmmm, shame."

"Okay, you keep the freaky fucker away from me, Luce. I'm outta here!" Mammon exploded into a loud array of confetti and circus sounds.

"Does he do that every time? Quite obnoxious."

"Says the guy who turns into shadows to escape anytime he doesn't want to deal with emotional nonsense..."

"Well of the two of us, you're the-... well I was going to say better emotionally equipped to parent Charlie's needs in that department, but then I remembered who I was speaking to."

He's immediately smacked with a wing, which nearly knocks him over, and Lucifer has to grab his shirt sleeve.

"Whoops. But how dare you! What're you going to teach her now? How to be a condescending prick to people who could kill you in a second and then how to bluff your way out of it? I already taught her you don't take shit from other demons."

"Yes, and that's why she walked right into the Moth's studio the first time and nearly got herself molested and Angel killed. Try tempering the information with the reality that you sheltered your little princess so intensively she has no concept of pain or suffering or how the world leads to the outcomes sinners have... that a song and dance won't make a lifelong addiction disappear because she wills it hard enough. The trust falls, on the other hand, will certainly get someone redeemed, I'm sure."

"Hey, you butted in and decided to be Dad part 2, you have to deal with that side of things. I'll do the hugging and other fun stuff... you be creepy weird uncle dad guy who eats threats to her, and reminds her how sinners work." Lucifer rolls his eyes. "Buuuuuuut, for that to happen, you gotta eat... and you know what... or should I say who... you gotta eat. If you want, I can transform them into other stuff until you get the taste for it back... or I can erase your memory of discovering our subterfuge. Let you work it out again later."

"You will do no such thing! It may avoid your notice, your lowness, but the very few things sinners can hopefully cont on are having a body they may own the rights to and having some of their memories intact." He snipes back, incensed. how could htis little fool say something like that?

"Whoa, there's a lot of tension here... you two need couples counselling? I've got some amazing-..." Asmodeus steps in, and startles the pair, who forgot he was there given Mammon being Mammon.

"...that would not be necessary, we are most certainly not together. I merely decided that Charlotte needed a better and more consistent father figure in her life and used that as a verbal knife in his side when the king swept into the hotel and sneered down his nose at us all. Metaphorically."

"I didn't sneer-..."

"You looked disgusted from the moment you walked inside, refused to acknowledge a single sinner, got everyone's name wrong and talked over Charlie to the point she was distraught. I could see you intended to be helpful, but you DECIDED what she needed instead of asking. And then you were rude to me, which earned you the piano."

"Oh? What would have happened if I told you to get the fuck out and made it a royal demand?"

"Then I would likel have asked Vox if he still intended me to join the Vees and started a multi-ring slander campaign that would have sent you scurrying back to your palace a broken creature, for centuries."

"You think I wouldn't just smite you all?" Lucifer didn't sound furious, he was coldly curious. There was an age behind those eyes that was fascinating and terrifying to behold; like if you looked at an antique doll and the eyes sparkled in a way that reminded you it had watched generations live and die and play with them. And it would outlast you too.

"Given how easy it was to bait you into a song battle with a few words about Charlotte, and how quickly you fell into despair at her disappointment... no. Safe to say we could watch an angelic panic attack within five seconds of a broadcast."

"You'd upset Charlotte."

"True... but if I apologised or pretended to, she'd believe it."

"Hey, fuck you."

"Poetry. Now are you going to cease this infuriating nonsense of hiding flash and blood and bone in my meals like im a dog that needs a pill hidden in bacon... or shall I simply have to stop eating again? The meals don't technically do anything but blot out the hunger for a time... it would just be inconvenient, because it hastens the death cycle."

"Oh for fucks-... no, you're going to eat even more sinner and whatever else we can put in there. This can't be how you want to spend eternity?"

"I have lived... or unlived... through exactly this on several occasions before. I can survive it, it's merely invconvenient."

"Bullshit, when?"

"Well, falling here I didn't have an instruction manual for whatever the hell I was and theey didn't exactly have wendigos on the curriculum at school... the little any of us were allowed to attend. Rosie explained the whole thing when we ran into each other hunting the same sinner... hah, that was quite the story. She loves to tell it when she's quite tipsy."

"Well that's one..."

"And after the battle, that one was more a nuisance though. Because I couldn't actually let myself die and regenerate when I had a chest of holy light, I wasn't certain how that would play out. But it's hard to hunt like that... Niffty did her best to bring bits of sinner corpses, but it's never quite the same as flesh."

"Well you could have just said something..."

"Absolutely not. It dissipated on its own eventually..."

"No, M-Vaggie just figured it out and went to Charlie, who went to me about it. Had to get Angel to dose you with something when you weren't looking and then I fixed it for you. You're welcome."

"I don't recall-..."

"You wouldn't. He put this patch on your skin, it's fast acting, and you were out in seconds. Wipes your memory, apparently... once I heard about it, I sent some people out to find where it was being made and distributed to have it removed from the Rings. That's dangerous to have for many reasons... excepting medical. Ozzie here is working on removing the last traces of Love Potiokn from shelves... I know you hate that one too."

"You realise admitting to hiding things in my meals, lying to me and drugging me to have your way against my consent is absolutely giving me cause to never return to the hotel, yes?"

Lucifer actually scrambled back with a horrified expression on his face. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't put it like that! That's not-... I would never-... Charlotte and Vaggie were there the whole time... I didn't even really have to touch you to fix it... just pulled the light out. Don't say it like that-..."

"But I would never have consented to it, and you let a porn star slip me something unknown to enable it. Doesn't sound too good from the outside, does it?"

"Okay, look... sometimes the therapeutic approach requires you rebreak a bone so it sets right. Or that you have to drug someone before they die of Grace eating them alive, because they're stubborn as fuck."

"Not exactly making this more appealling. How do I know you won't simply do whatever you want or have the staff turn against me in such a manner to take revenge, in future? You've already proven completely untrustworthy."

"No, no stop that line of thought it's a spiral you don't want to go down. I know you overlord types are paranoid, but you don't want to go there. Besides, what other option do you have? Your original tower was annihilated in the battle... and you were away for like ages apparently?" There's a pause, "Actually, you've never said where you were."

"And I cannot. Suffice to say... it was a very long seven years, but it adequately prepared me for this very situation. So if you can leave me to either complete your paperwork without being harassed, or just let me leave altogether and forget this, it would be appreciated."

"And go where? Run off for seven years again? You'd devastate Charlie... and the flower lady? Maybe even the rude little flapper who brought the loan sharks to the hotel? Misery was it?"

"Mimzy. She has others she asks for aid from, I'm not special." Lucifer's words register, and Alastor fights the transformation desperate to rip free, because there simply isn't enough energy there for it. "Do you think... for one second... I CHOSE to GO ANYWHERE?! Maybe if you hadn't been such an ABSENT KING AND FATHER YOUR W-..." it chokes off.

The chain is tugged sharply... and the collar, humiliatingly, glows violently violet in the now too-silent room.

Lucifer seems shellshocked. "Is that...? Lily? Did you-... how did she-... where is she?"

"Up."

"No. She can't be."

"Yes... having been in contact with God's specialist boy... though I wonder how that works given he is deceased now."

"What does she have on you? What does she want?"

"Charlotte's safety..." he seems to roll the words around, trying to test for barriers and deciding the words were allowed. "Your abscence. The failure of-..." that cuts off.

"Failure of the hotel? Redemption? Char Char?"

Alastor half-nods. There's nuance there he can't provide.

"And what about if we took the fight to Heaven?"

"Not to raise arms against Heaven."

"Wait... is that why you refused to ake angelic steel to the roof with you? Charlie was very worried about that when she couldn't find you after the battle. Said she should've insisted."

"Perhaps."

"And you... you were with Lily? Up? For... the whole time you were away?"

"...yes."

"Why?"

"She refused to take no for an answer, a common trait of the morningstars, when I turned down her initial deal. She felt starvation and torture would change my mind. It didn't. But she did find a fmaily member in heaven and threaten them... which forced my hand."

Lucifer looked like he was going to be sick. "No... no she wouldn't do that."

"Uh, Lulu? Yeah she would. Something's been weird with her for the last four centuries, she went cold, man. Blocked us from seeing Char Char and locked off the rings. Told us you didn't want to see us anymore." Asmodeus added, reminding them all he was there. A small imp poked his head ou from amongst Ozzie's flames to peer at them. "This is my partner, Fizzarolli... he's very discrete, I promise."

"The one you're at war with Mammon over." Alastor stated idly, claws digging into the tiles to keep him upright. "I dislike the television and the little phone videos, but I did quite enjoy hearing you tell him to go fuck himself, my good man..."

"It was amazing, and terrifying, and I oved every moment of it!" Fizzy replied. "Its so surreal to meet you, though... Blitz and I used to listen to your programming all the time when we were younger. Before his dad sold the radio on us... tightwad. Really liked the screaming parts."

"Hmmm, I have them recorded somewhere on my staff, anyone in particular?"

"Er, I kind of liked how melodic the screams of that one Opera Overlord were. She used to come to our ring and do fucked experiments on the hellborn all the time... it was nice to hear her suffer."

"I'll cue it up when next I have my staff, for you and the rest of your ring."

"Later, when you've actually eaten sinner meat... Ozzie, stop giggling or I'll never get him to do it... and stopped dying."

"Oh psshaw, I'm fine enough."

"I had my like, limbs burnt off in a big fire at the circus once... took a while to learn how to live so fucked up and with these robo limbs. Fire used to freak me out, couldn't eat anything that'd been cooked... you ever tried to eat a raw thing of brockalli? Hard as a rock... well, I mean yeah, naturally, but its fine if you cook it." Fizzarolli started talking and couldn't stop the words. "And it took a while, but I came back around to food of the cooked variety... slowly. Got tricked too, little by little bit. Until I felt able to eat it... and then I met Ozzie, and I realised fire isn't all that bad. Look at me now!"

He kisses each of the three heads in the flames and not a single ember burned him.

"See, in compaison to that, you've got nothing to complain about." Lucifer said, gesturing.

Fizz looked startled, "Whoa your Majesty, I didn't mean it like that..."

"No he's right... it's not like he's the worst thing I ever ate, but the mixture of drugs, biochemistry and whatever in the seven rings he'd contracted all warring against my healing was a protracted nightmare I won't soon enjoy repeating. But it wasn't worth all this fuss... I know it's silly and I hate that I can't get over it."

"Well, being a baby over a case of Fuck Around and Find Out does that to a sinner..." Lucifer mumbles. He yelps as Alastor pulls on his wing. "Whoa, rude! Do you see me grabbing you by the tail? No... 'cause it'd hurt if someone started pulling at things fused to your body..."

A blurb of static exploded. "How do you know I have a tail? What else did you do when you had Angel drug me?"

"Whoa, no, no not that! We had to take your coat off and the concealment charm was damaged in the lining... I fixed that, by the way, you're welcome. No one did anything other than that and check the wound for infection. You want apinky promise on that one?"

Alastor settled slightly. "If that is all... I suppose I will need to accept the indignity of it all. It's hard enough to exist with Vox's little electornic eyes everywhere, without finding out the people of the hotel I have to guard might give him direct access to such things by taking photos or videos when I was compromised."

"The tv guy? Hunk said he was kind of a stalker."

"We were close friends, he wanted more and didn't like my disinterest in the matter... he tried to kill me several times over it, in fact. Shockingly, that also didn't bring the interest he craved surging forth. So he settles for watching my every move. I can distort myself to cameras, but it takes thought when my abilities are low."

"Why not just kill him?"

"...thought about it. He was a friend, and occasionally I see that in there still... also sentimental garbage. What's the odd betrayal amongst friends and family in hell, after all?" He laughed.

"Well... that sucks. Would you consider eating something proper if only to make sure you can keep yourself blurred to his electronic eyes?"

"When you put it like that... I can try."

"Then we work out how to stop whatever Lily's planning because I don't like that. But... if you do feel like going back to eating sinners and not just giving my staff a heartattack each time they find you dead, would you still consider finishing the paperwork? I don't even know where to start in the next room and you've cleared one in under a year."

"If you give me just enough power to match the icy bird and his heinously mannered sister... I do so want to devour them."

"Paimon might be pissed about it but... yeah, I'm willing to consider it. When you're well."

"Alright, I will go finish up in the primary mailroom or whatever you were calling that mess..."

"Nah, I mean you've used all your energy for today, you can just chill and take a nap or something."

"And ruminate on hunger unitl I die? I've been there and done that for years at a time, your shortness, not a fan. It's worth the distraction."

"I don't think so." Lucifer reaches out with a wing and drags the startled sinner over, latching onto a forearm with one hand before he could shadow out. At this rate he might fragment across pride, and that's not something anyone wants to do...

He deftly bats aside the claswed hand coming for his face, and presses a glowing hand to the sinner's forehead. "Sleep"

Alastor crumples into his lap, and Lucifer looks very old in that moment. Hovering a glowing hand over the other, letting little trickles of healing flesh out some bits lost to starvation, to give them more time to work on it.

The shade snarls at him from the floor, but winds about Alastor's form like a protective blanket.

There's nothing he can do when the issue is deep in the mind like this, that's why Belphagor was the best option here but Al wouldn't allow it. Soem psychoses he could help with, like breaking through delusions or hallucinations or using angelic light sparingly to guide someone back from a full panic attack.

This though...

"Lulu, baby, you just promised not to do exactly that again... I don't think he's ever going to trust you or that hotel of Char's after this."

"Well he'll be alive and healthy enough to spit in my face, I guess." He sighs, deflating. "This is so fucked, Ozzie... Charlie's dream led to war with Heaven, this guy nearly died fighting Adam and his weird little not-daughter stabbed the guy to death. This idiot does something nice for once in his afterlife murdering this rapist moth overlord to free someone else... well, all of them actually... and then gets a cripplng aversion to flesh, which keeps him alive. And now I find out he's trapped in it all becaus eof Lily... who has been in heaven for who knows how long. What is this? What am I meant to do with any of this?"

"That's a lot. Sounds like you're frustrated that you're beginning to care about Charlie's rag-tag group of sinners and suddenly it hurts that you were forced to agree to the Exterminations. Because now your heart is thawing you're wondering... how many sinners that were killed could be as weird and multifaceted as these sinners I know? Am I right?"

"Like a slap to the face."

"Good. Like the way your Overlord friend has been breaking down the ballroom, we're going to approach this mess the same way. Methodically, piece by piece. Work out what needs to go where, and make plans. It will be okay, Lulu. You have Charlie and all of us, and some of the sinners are on your side too I hear."

"...true. It's just... they look to me for answers and I am so very, very old Ozzie, and I don't have them at all."

"No, YOU expect you to have all the answers. The rest of us are just as flawed as you and your sharp-toothed pal there, its the imperfections that make us real. Just let go of that expectation, and we'll make it through."

"I suppose I could try. Now are you gonna help me get this gangly fucker off me or just stand there trying not to laugh as your king is stabbed to death by sharp boned sinners?"

"Now who's being the big baby?"

"Shut up, and stop saying we're friends. I wanted to smite him the first time we met and the desire grows every single damn day he opens his smug mouth. He thought he could swoop in and take my daughter... the AUDACITY!"

"Well you are coparenting well enough from what I heard..." Fizzy interjected, and got a glare from The Devil Himself. "Hey, I call em like I see em..."

Asmodeus took Alastor into one giant hand, and grabbed up Lucifer in the other. Much in the same way a mother cat would scruff her kitten. Lucifer wriggled and hissed much in the same way.

"Hey, I'm your King!"

"And you're adorable... now, show me where this guy sleeps, and then you can come chill with me and Fizzy-frog here in your room 'til you also fall asleep. I think everyone would benefit from nap time..."

"We're millennia old, nap time is for infants..."

"No, Bel was just saying that an overworked mind and bpdy need additional rest periods to avoid burnout. Let's try it, okay? We can even snuggle if you want..."

"What?"

"Don't you like making a nest and then snuggling? You ued to."

"Yeah but... I mean, I don't actually have to sleep, so I've just been ignoring that. Oh, this door... gave him the guest room closest to the ballroom-mailroom-nightmare admin place. Just drop him on the bed, I'll ask one of the hellborn to check if he's died later..."

Fizzzy wriggled down Ozzy to pull the sheets back as the Sin slipped Alastor onto the bed, and then pulled them back up. "Is he alright like that? the bowtie snd suspenders and shoes?"

"Hmmm? Oh, I think he won't mind if I snap them off while he's under the covers and his virtue is intact or whatever..." It took less than a half second's thought, and the items including the coat were tucked away neatly.

Ozzie grinned. "And you said he isn't a friend..."

"He isn't. He acts like we're divorced dads seeking custody of our adult daughter, and I have no idea how to handle it without getting pissed off every five minutes. I'd kiss him just to see if that's what he's angling for, because it wouldn't be the first time a sinner tried to climb the ranks by trying to climb me before, but I think he'd claw his face off in horror. I don't think he's interested in any of that. And like I said, I'm all about consent... except for emergency healing. That's different and I stand by it."

Ozzie narrowed his eyes at the deer, and his aura changed colours to a rather recognisable flag for a split-second, then faded back to blue. "You're right, he's not interested... but he definitely cares for Charlotte. I might be the muted form of love, but I can still taste the different flavours from sinners and hellborn when I really focus. So don't worry on that account, its genuine... I just don't think he realises how strong it is... that's either going to be hilarious or heartbreaking when he figures this out."

Lucifer frowns. "Huh."

"Alright, show us to your room... you got a nest ready to go or you wanna build one with us?"

The door shuts to Alastor's room as the king starts frantically teleporting the piles of rubber ducks from his room whilst engaging in pleasant conversation. Can't let them see the mental illness. Must hide the ducks. Remain calm.

------

Unfortunately for Alastor, when he next wakes, he finds that he's about two feet below a veritable sea of the bloody things. And his furious shout shakes the nestled, nested trio of Asmodeus, Lucifer and Fizzerolli awake halfway across the palace.

Lucifer frog blinks, and realises. His grin could rival Alastor's in that moment. "Oh yeah... oops."

"Not friends, my voluptuous ass..." Ozzie murmurs and turns over. "You go fight, I want five more minutes. Wait, where's Fizzy gone?"

The answer, of course, was riding on Alastor's gargantuan shoulder as he crashed through the wall seeking vengeance.

"Oh for fucks-... I JUST gave you that energy and you're using it for a tanrtum, AND you fucked my wall. Can you just settle down?"

Fizzy swung off an antler, seemingly not bothering the overlord at all. "Burger time. Burger time. Burger time!"

"For breakfast? I mean... I've had weirder... " Lucifer concedes and magics some up. "Bambi... catch!"

The sight several hellborn staff came upon later that day was truly fascinating, and very hard to explain. But at least the King had managed to get Mr Radio Demon to eat someone... if only there weren't so many burger pieces strewn about the carpeted floor.

That was going to be a bugger to clean.

And then, the Devil sent an angel unto them...

"Hi, I'm Niffty!"

[thebearme]

Here's my Parappa hcs and reimagine ideas for Matt & Paula

Sunny

Sunny is a cosmo flower like her mother.

Because of her mother's recent death, her dad Potter became UBER PROTECTIVE. The classic "ur the last thing of her, I have to protect you" you know.

Unrelated thing but idk when I'll ever talk about this guy but Potter HAS to be half object head, the only plant thing apart of him is his hair. idk maybe yall can figure it out... also i think he gave birth to sunny and no i will not elaborate.

Sunny is asexual and intersex but what do you expect, she's a plant.

She got all her arm strength from her dad. All those home military drills really helped.

She's superb at skateboarding but tends to not do so beings she doesn't want to get her dress ruin. But give her time to change, and she'll start shreddin.

Sunny has Bipolar disorder type 1.

Sunny grew up a lil sheltered. She lives in the middle of the woods and only goes into town for groceries! She started going out more and more when she started school for the first time, especially after she got some friends.

I'm taking this headcanon from the fic life in parappa town and expanding it but Sunny is in this plant belief system where you stay loyal to Mothernature and when you die you'll become a part of her. She doesn't eat meat, she gives back to nature and be kind to all Mothernature's creatures.

Sunny take cares and own her mother's "small" farm. She used to give her produce to the community for free, but because of the government finding out about that, she had to put it on pause. She either sells it for big money, or the government will take her land and profit from it them self.

Parappa

Parappa is his rap name. His name is Pa and his nickname is Pappy.

He's a bagel and hound mix, but has more bagel dog tendencies.

He's hat was bought by his mom before she left.

Parappa's mom divorce her husband after one too many financial crises, just when Parappa was just graduated high school. (explaining the past tense in PtR2) Leaving Pappy with Papa Rappa while she takes care of Pinto herself.

His Mama always encouraged Parappa to reach his dreams as long it wasn't expensive. So after everything, Parappa was more determined than ever to believe in himself and never give up.

Parappa would do anything for Sunny, he would kill Joe Chin even!

After a while working at the videogame shop, Parappa will later work for Master Onion cuz at least he pays him.

Parappa has the n card cuz he's cool like that. im tired of hearing 'who gave him the n card?' well maybe he just born with it. stop judging my dog bro

Parappa's rapping career just recently started. He began rapping his poems by the end of high school, luckily for him his best friend has connections to get him up there.

He grew up with classic 80s-90s rap. Pappy is an oldhead.

Pappy is anti-drug, anti-gun rights and a BIG ACAB. He is a huge believer that 'only community can fix the issues and not some cops that with guns trying to make the problem worst' but if you listen to parappa's album you've probly already saw this coming.

He still an up-and-coming artist, eventho he's known around the town and performed with Club fun's mc twice... he just started selling his first album.

Pappy is pretty smart and could have got into a science major like his dad but choose music instead. His father wept.

Parappa guessed that Katy is lesbian years before she started dating Lammy because the god awful dates she would go on.

Parappa loves frogs, they're his favorite animal.

He has a concentration issue, dude can't stay on track for the life of him. And no he doesn't know he has ADHD.

His ass has maladaptive daydreamer.

Boxy boy was made for Parappa by his dad because of tendency to daydream everywhere and anywhere, he gives him sense.

Pappy has a stuttering and lisp problem, but it adds an interesting element to his raps.

Pappy can NOT keep a secret. He WILL tell Sunny!

He got orange hair

Pj

Pj or further known as King Berri is still the same as always, maybe a lil more tired.

He uses king as a stage name so he can have a bit of his fantasy come true.

Eats weed brownie everyday.

Pj now wears a hooding for pure comforter, it like wearing sleepingbag at all times.

Pj seems very comfortable with his life but he really just compliant.

Pj is estranged from his family. They have not talked in years and he doesn't plan on changing that.

Just like everyone, Pj doesn't hate being a dj but just hate working. All the fun he had for his craft was gone a long time ago. But if he still gets paid by his boss MC Mushi and gets his 'stuff' then his fine.

Pj is brutally honest to Parappa like always, someone got to be the straight man in the friendship.

He's the most likely in the friendship to get the other in trouble.

Pj lives in the college housing, particularly in the basement. He just likes it down there. But funny enough, it turns out the house doesn't stay as empty as what the staff said it would be.

He's roommate is Matt. He's not that bad when you get to know him, He's just a bit snobby, know-it-all and WAY to competitive... but chill? Ok he's a Chin but hey, atleast he's better then Joe.

Him and Matt met one rainy day when the power went out and Matt got jumpedscared but the bear in the basement.

Katy

Chatty Katty was her nickname back in high school and even in the college campus right now. She gets this nickname not because she talks bad of anyone, honestly the opposite. She talks up everyone she knows! Right after talking up herself.

Katy was a church goer growing up, so no duh she'll know everyone in the community.

Her and Pappy were in the church choir growing up, that's how they met. Later she got introduced Pj in school, the three of them started hanging out after that.

Parappa gives the biggest little brother vibe to Katy.

Katy has the vocabulary of a old lady and it's because of the older lady she works with at the diner.

Katy is that friend that went on so many bad dates, tells you about and it makes you think HOW the hell are you still dating men??

She met Lammy after running into each other from the college lecture hall. And she immediately invited her to the milkcan band practice.

Lammy and Katy were a will-they-won't-they thing then they met. Lammy likes Katy but doesn't think she would like her, Katy likes Lammy but doesn't think she's likes women so she continues going for men.

Katy has been going to church less as she goes into college, jobs, dates, band practice and battling the gay thoughts. oooo scary

Katy and Sunny met in middle school, Katy never liked the idea of girls tearing each other down. And Katy was right, Sunny was sweet as she thought.

Katy introduced Sunny to the boys and everyone went nicely, they shared lunch together.

Paula

Paula is base off a kit fox, she just put makeup over her facial mark.

She's got abit of rewrite; She's from a new money household but unlike her parents that fell into complete greed, She's still her old self.

Paula is a tomboy at heart and her true love is basketball and women.

She's a business major oooo. AND the captain of the basketball team.

She still beefing with Katy but you know- it's a friendly rivalry. Or at least it becomes one.

Paula has a little crush on Sunny after meeting her but she's very respectful about it and very real told anyone about it... besides Katy... who told Pj... who told Matt... who told Parappa... who told Sunny. But otherwise Paula got turned down rather nicely and took it well.

Matt

Matt and Joe are doodles, partially a cockapoo.

He is the younger brother of Joe Chin and makes it his LIFE GOAL to be Parappa's rival.

He bascally bradley for the extremely goofy movie.

Matt has a big gay crush on Pappy but he refuse to admit!

Joe Chin got to inherit the family business without even doing anything and Matt is really mad about that. So he's in school for a business degree and in the frat club for extra bonus points. All to impress his parents and get the family business instead.

Ok not related to Matt hcs but just one thing- I think Joe Chin is a womanizer manipulative creep! That's why Matt is a funny villain while Joe is a flatout villain villain.

There more hcs in the bottom but I didn't feel comfortable putting up with more of the light hearted stuff so...

darker things below, read with caution.

[bunchofdoodlesinspace]

Some sillier Hawks hcs bc the last list made me sad and I got hit with some really funny ideas earlier (Milder spoiler warning for some references to his backstory and such):

Y'know that absolutely baffled look that hawks and other birds of prey have sometimes. yeah.

Tangentially related I like to think one of the reasons his default expression is Like That is something along the lines of how like 90% of birds of prey just constantly look pissed. So he has like a weird sort of RBF but specifically the kind where it vaguely looks like he might be thinking about killing you when he's actually just zoning out thinking about how hungry he is or smth

Another bird-like mannerism he has is that if you startle him hard enough, he will squawk. He's really hard to scare like that though, so good luck

Perks of Large Wings: you can fly. Downsides of large wings: How the fuck do I get through this door-

No but actually certain situations are made specifically more annoying for him PURELY because of his wings and how large they are at their full length. Do you know how frustrating it is being in a long meeting and being unable to stretch normally because you WILL hit like three different people in the room

Another struggle is sleeping. As he got older and his wings got bigger he very quickly realized that sleeping on his stomach was probably the only genuinely comfortable way to do it, otherwise he ends up laying on part of the wing and even if that doesn't hurt, it gets uncomfy after a while

I can tell a lot of people hc him being more of a flirt and I agree to this but in the specific sense that he does it as part of like, the good-for-publicity front or whatever he's been trained to have. In a genuine scenario? He's lost. He's so fucking lost he doesn't know what's happening. If you were to flirt with him and mean it it would go directly over his head and he would just stare at you like :D???

In fact I think in general because of how he ended up being raised I think a lot of genuine social interactions outside of hero work/publicity just leave him confused. No he doesn't know what movie/show you're referencing. What the fuck is a "rizz". What's happening.

Yes he was trained to do it but he does actually greatly enjoy finding all the ways to get under people's skin and annoy them. One of those things that's a tactic he uses in undercover missions but is also just something he does to Be Annoying On Purpose. I like to think that behaviour is partially him subconsciously channeling the rebellious teenager energy he couldn't fully express when he was actually a teen. He thrives on being a menace.

Speaking of "channeling his inner rebellious teen" he likes to occasionally give the HPSC a mini heart attack when he does interviews. Casually skirts veeery close to revealing something he ABSOLUTELY should not but then casually circles back to a normal response like nothing happened. He does the same thing in speeches sometimes too. He gets scolded every time but continues to do it out of spite.

He'd be that friend who will jump into a convo like "actually the easiest way to kill someone and leave no evidence is [etc.]" and then be confused as to why everyone is staring at him in silent concern

He could ALSO be that friend that references some small part of his upbringing, is met by silent worried glances, and goes "WAIT HOLD ON THAT'S NOT NORMAL??"

Hates summer PURELY because his hero costume is designed to help keep him warm when he's flying at higher altitudes (because it's colder up there) and is therefore Awful if it ever gets too warm. Yes he can technically just take off the jacket but then he can't be dramatic about it

I like to think sometimes he pulls a "gif of the dude making a peace sign before vanishing" except instead of disappearing he just falls backwards off the edge of a building and flies away

[oops-all-concrete]

Hello lovelies, 💘HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!💘

I'm back with more BG3 headcanons! Today's prompt is;

💕Modern AU; Ways the BG3 (romanced) companions are idyllicly sweet with Tav!💕

No spoilers! Tags are; A whole heckin lot of fluff and cuteness!

Lae'zel -

You have to be careful with what you say around Lae'zel. Made a minor comment 3 months ago that you wanted to revisit somewhere in the Sword Coast? Get packing, you guys are all booked to go. Asked Lae'zel to get you candy on the way home? She has 3 full bags. Say that comment her folks made last time you visited made you uncomfortable- you have a paragraph text apology from all of them the next day. She's not just someone who wants to spoil Tav, she fucking will. (If Tav manages to talk her out of going nuts with the pampering, she's surprisingly sentimental. You bet she keeps a rock in her pocket that reminds her of Tav)

Shadowheart -

She is so excited to post you. She doesn't like social media and tends to keep to herself, but after watching Tav post pictures of them both, she wanted to do the same. The minute she gets even the smallest romantic gesture, she's scrapbooking, she has a wall of Polaroids joined by a horde of hand made sketches, she's putting together little snack baskets and mailing them to Tav, she's about as obviously head over heels as a person can be, really. She's always got a camera aimed at Tav, even if they're just for her. (A good 90% are just for her eyes)

Wyll -

This man never plays games/gets online with both sides of the headphones in. It doesn't matter if the game is online, offline, urgent, time sensitive, dependent on his concentration- if Tav so much as makes a peep, he's out of his seat and across the room. Hells, he takes every chance he gets to go give Tav some attention. In the drift of leaving the waking world, Tav will definitely hear a little "One minute, Tav needs me" despite them not asking. Some footsteps. And then moments later, the warmth of the duvet being tucked all over their body and a gentle kiss to the cheek. Whispered "I love you"s and then a quiet. "I'm going to hop off for a few hours." So you can have some quiet.

Karlach -

She's one of those people that really makes you realise you have good taste in other people. Like, you can't think of a time you went on a walk and she didn't pick up some trash, help an elderly person across the street, immediately offer her seat to a pregnant woman. No matter how prideful Tav might be or not, there's a pride in the admiring looks other people give her. Little girls pass in the street and say "mum, I want to be like her when I grow up!" Everything she does makes Tav proud to be with her, yet somehow Tav is always the one under a spotlight to her. "Oh, me and my partner-" this. "Oh, my partner-" that. "I'm so proud of my Tav. Ugh, I am so lucky" she insists at every turn.

Gale -

He's a night owl, much to Tara's dismay. Wether that's because he can't sleep, he likes being awake in the dark hours or- his brain won't stop nattering at him for a gods damned minute, but either way. He's probably working, quietly cleaning, organising Tavs things so they don't have to worry. In quiet moments, between possibly making them breakfast because of course he's up that early- he's just kissing Tav on the forehead, gently, trying not to wake them. He needs them to sleep but there is not a moment in his day where he doesn't think: "Does Tav know I love them? Can I remind them once more? Even if its just for my peace of mind?" Because he will not rest if he has an inkling his live for Tav isn't at the forefront of their mind.

Astarion -

If you even suggest to this man that you should do matching outfits, he's excited. He always wants to take the wheel, but also wants Tav to have a foot in the idea. He will give ideas left and right, opinions up and down. He doesn't care if it's a date or not, cringe solstice photos, or just gym clothes, he's all for it. If you guys didn't have matching pyjamas already, you have them now, congrats. (If he's still a bloodsucker, he'll definitely still go out of his way to learn how to cook for Tav. Tokyo Ghoul rules though, so Tav gets to taste test a lot. Only the best for his little capri-sun) Overall he's just unashamed and excited to be with someone who very obviously wants to be his, visibly as possible.

(Bonus Halsin!)

Halsin -

This man lives for shared activity. He's quite alright on his own and can allow Tav their space, but going to get massages, haircuts/styles, wine tasting is his total vibe. Just relaxed gatherings together. Nobody lives a spa day like this man. It allows a level of intimacy that nature intends. Cleansing. Careful. Close. He will learn how to do Tavs hair and makeup if asked. Will take pleasure in being able to undress them and put them to bed at the end of a long day. Go on hikes and camping trips, walks through the woods, carving names into rocks and bringing back souvenirs to press into a book that's only getting thicker.

[deepdreamnights]

I remade the trailer to Robot Monster, to serve as a trailer for a hypothetical remake of... you guessed it, Robot Monster.

Destruction has come, hu-mans, and its silliness will not protect you.

My thoughts and how-to process blog post under the fold.

I made Robot Monster's Trailer Remake primarily with Vidu and with Midjourney.

For most shots I started with a photoshopped midjourney gen (or stack of them), which was used either as a prompt image or starting frame.

Some shots, like the earthquake, were done with start-and-end frames.

Vidu has some quirks for my Roland Emmerich Christ-the-Redeemer shot. I attempted the image several times as a direct image as start frame, but it would reset to a new camera angle each time, rebelling against my inaccurate version:

As the AI could recognize the statue, but not it being in inaccurate surroundings. I eventually used it as a prompt and not a start frame got a good enough shot.

I tended to go for 8-second shots on quality mode, to give me more to cut around and edit. Almost no shots play without some cropping, speed adjustments or other edits in this, and anyone using AI for a larger project is going to find much the same.

While 90% of the shots are from Vidu a few I used Hailuo's Minmax to accomplish. Mainly things like a few low-motion Ro-man talking shots, the computer-communication device, and the motion title card for "electrifying", etc.

Vidu likes to move, a lot, and for stuff that needs subtle movement I sometimes find it helps to mix things up.

I've found that when image prompting for a character, like Ro-Alice, it sometimes helps to do a fullbody and portrait two-for-one. This helps keep the character design consistent, and you can kinda tell which Ro-Man shots I made before I figured this trick out.

I also reused shots of the dinosaurs from my other AI video projects for meta reasons.

Right now it doesn't make videos so much as it makes shots you can weave into videos.

I'm actually impressed at how well it understood the concept of Ro-Man, only giving him a full ape face or a weird tail or the like a couple of times.

My general approach to the concept was "What if you kept the premise the same but had a budget." Whereas in reality you'd never actually get that combo, since if they had money, they wouldn't have made Robot Monster.

It also let me play with a fanon idea I've had for awhile that the Ro-Men were the helmets, and the ape-creature was some biological organism used as a conveyance.

For the audio, I took the audio to the trailer and used Suno's cover-features to both clean up the sound and change the musical style. The back half of the original track was completely warped by the cover process, but I used another bit of trailer-style music to cover that bit, and to extend for the longer ending shot, since my version of the trailer is about 20 seconds longer than the original.

Some prompts utilized:

in a sci-fi lab in a cave, a furry alien monster wearing a spherical helmet with reflective faceplate walks around aubrey plaza in a white sleeveless slip-dress and dark pantyhose in a glass tube, the tube pulses with green light. She is in a glass cylinder, he is walking around it, with curiosity. The scene is menacing, slow movement, pensive. horror movie scene, the tone is tense and frightening. professional lighting and cinematography. Oscar winning, 2003, practical lighting, effects, and costuming.

the robot spider-robots with spherical heads walk around as though searching for something. horror movie scene, the tone is tense and frightening. professional lighting and cinematography. Oscar winning, 2003, practical lighting, effects, and costuming.

the alien ape-creature wearing a space helmet (the robot monster), in a modern city. He throws green lightning from his hand, disintegrating a policeman into ash. Monster-movie sci-fi scene, dramatic camera angles and lighting. Practical costuming and special effects. High budget and high concept.

slow motion fly-through footage, the air is full of slow-moving glowing bubbles. green electric sparks arc from one bubble to the next producing an ominous mood. The scene conveys spreading menace and fear. One long, unbroken shot. filmed on location, effects by weta digital, ILM, stan winston studios, believable and hyper-realistic. Shot on location. trailer shot. high-speed film

All-in-all, a fun project, and one that came along when I really, really, really needed something to concentrate on for long stretches of time.

Make something fun, folks.

[crazylittlejester]

Could you give us more about trans Time? (If that’s okay!)

Love that hc btw, it makes me really happy ^^

hell yes i can!! I love trans Time, trans that man's gender. oot link is like the vibes of transgenderism compressed into one single silly little guy (gender neutral). however people trans oot link's gender is always correct in my mind (i personally hc him to be ftm but i really do love seeing any version of him that's not cis)

im gonna apologize rn for any typos or oddly autocorrected words im dyslexic and my laptop works against me sometimes lmao

anyways not sure what exactly you wanted to know (and feel free to ask more questions!!) but i think this was in reference to my modern au post so!!:

Time was born in the late 70s (since the au takes place in present day and he is a good 25 years older than Twi), so growing up he didn't really see a whole lot of trans people who could've helped him realize he was trans sooner, especially because his childhood was mostly him having an awful time with his physical health and arguing with his father for the chance to go to public school and not be homeschooled like his siblings (he is the youngest of 6) because he didn't get along with all of them and wanted to meet new people

Looking back on it NOW he can recognize he realized he was trans when he was like, 12, but at the time he didn't really know what that was and just cut his hair short and didn't understand why he got so happy when people mistakenly called him a boy

There was a period of time where he was confused and thought he was a lesbian (he is bisexual) and he dated Ruto for like a year in high school but they kinda ended up becoming friends instead (they're STILL friends), and then he dated Sheik, who is a trans man, and the realization hit him like a bus

He graduated high school and then just kinda dipped off the map, he didn't realy have friends (besides Ruto, and MALON considered them friends but he didn't realize she liked him that much) so he didn't really keep in contact with people except for Sheik (he was also doing pretty bad physically at this point in time), but he started socially transitioning around 18 and was able to start medically transitioning around 20. Not all his siblings were super accepting, and he's completely cut contact with one of them, but his sister closest to him in age who was his best friend growing up was his biggest supporter

(this modern au takes place in a modernized Hyrule kingdom loosely based on where I live because obviously where I live is the best idea I have of how modern sociey works since I'm living in it, lmao, but Hyrule kingdom was a little more progressive in the late 90s and while gender affirming care wasn't SUPER easy to access, it WAS accessable. the main issue for Time was transphobia from his oldest brother and the people from his INCREDIBLY tightknit town, because outside of that people didn't know he was trans)

Malon was fully aware he was trans because she met him before HE realized that, so when those two got together he didn't have to worry about telling her or anything. And they WERE going to adopt kids at some point, but then Time's sister died and her husband had passed away too and she'd written in her will that she'd wanted Time to take care of her baby (Twi), because she wanted him to have a wonderful environment growing up and she trusted Time more than their other siblings even though they'd all already settled down and had their own kids and were experienced parents (also to be fair, she didn't expect to die and leave her 13 month old an orphan. it was just an IN the event of her death kinda thing, she very much would've rather been able to raise her kid herself)

Time doesn't really give two fucks about passing, not anymore, he wears what he wants, but most people DO assume he's a cis man because he's decently tall and has a deeper, monotoned voice. Transphobia does still exist in Hyrule Kingdom, though it's not as bad as it was when Time was a kid, and also the city where the boys' apartment in is incredibly LGBTQ+ friendly (not that that means homophobia and transphobia don't exist, it's just a much safer area to be out that other places in the kingdom) so he doesn't ever feel like he has to HIDE being trans. He goes to pride parades sometimes (when he knows he won't get overwhelmed) and he and Malon are definitely that older couple who give out free supportive parent hugs to people who really need it

Legend in this au is also a trans man, and I wouldn't call Wild cis but he's amab and uses he/him pronouns at the moment while he figures things out (he's also perfectly fine with they/them)

[marcasmacmanus]

Three Nobleman (Pt. III)

Lord Ambroys Belrose Desoleil

The last one I worked on. May one can tell this character is something really special to me.. and maybe that's one of the reasons this last portrait was a hell of a roller-coaster to me. Almost leading me to quit and abandoning the whole project. The reason why this particular painting has a different background than the other two is that I had to start over completely. The first mistake I made was the scale. At first I wanted to show way more of the character itself, what meant on the other hand, that all the details got way smaller and I just wasn't able to adequately handle that. The second problem was that I somehow messed up his face/expression and wasn't able to figure out what went wrong or what it was exactly, that make it seem so odd to me.. And last but not least, my absolute lack of understanding color.. yep, I like painting stuff but I don't really understand how colors work.. His mane/hair became my arch nemesis. Not that it is hard enough, to work with bright colors that are pretty close to each other, without outlines, no, I had absolutely no idea how many different colors are needed to mix blonde.. just to make that slight difference to his coat. The decision to use the "older" version of him wasn't helping either. His younger self doesn't have the straight mane/hair, which makes it way easier to let it look like "hair". Well, at least to me. But in the end I think I somehow managed it to a degree that it is acceptable (for my fourth time with oils). To end the part of my struggle with this one, there was one thing left I wish I had noticed earlier, and that's the position of his left arm. I just took the sketch from my first try and scaled it up, not noticing that the arm may look a little bit odd now.

But that's aside, I also had a lot of fun with the painting. I totally got lost in the rose on his revers (because I love roses the most) and there are some more details which made me really happy how they turned out. But I have to confess that I cheated a little on this painting as well. It's the only of the three portraits that isn't exclusively painted in oils. His horn is actually painted over with nail-polish to get that opalescent shimmer.

Ambroys' portrait took me about 90 hours (first try included). It's based on this drawing by @kwillow - how-much-conditioner-do-you-think-olderamby-goes -, which again means that I don't want to take any credit for the artwork itself.

Yes, Ambroys means a lot to me and that may be the reason I look more critical on this one. But the most important thing for me is, that the new owners, @chocodile and @kwillow, like them and can gain some joy out of my work. You guys gave me so much through your characters and their stories, and helped me through a very hard, and so far the darkest chapter of my life. And therefore, thank you!