#(T&C apply)
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Someone asked me this yesterday and I’ve been thinking about it but I want to hear from you all because I’m dipping my toe back into writing (this isn’t a promise).
What kinks do you want to see more of in fic?
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If you’re not comfortable replying publicly do anon ask or dm me!
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"C-PTSD? Heh, no. CT-PTSD"
*laughs histerically as The HorrorsTM reflect in their eyes*
–every single clone ever
#you just gotta switch the T for C and then it applies for the CCs#some dont have the C in the PTSD but they all got it#star wars the clone wars#clone wars#the clone wars#star wars#star wars memes#clone wars memes#star wars tcw#sw tcw#tcw#the trauma is GAR issue
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if you think you’re having a bad day, I just spent 4:00-5:10 AM in queue for Oasis tickets, was only 900th in the queue, was able to make my selection, proceeded to checkout with two floor tickets, entered my details and almost had them processed all the way only for ticketmaster to refuse to process a Canadian card and continue to throw me out five more times before returning me to the queue of 300,000 people. I was 900th. I had those tickets.
28 August Downsview Park better fucking be real or I’m going to cry
#Not coming to London next summer folks#I will see yous in Toronto.#Oasis#oasis band#käärijä#And now the website is crashed beyond rescue#I’ve left the queue because I can’t wait for 5 hours only for them to reject a Canadian card again#like that’s it for me; I don’t have the choice of trying another card. So Toronto it is* I guess.#*T&C apply such as band not splitting up on Cardiff night 1#oasis reunion#I’m going back to bed; I set an alarm for 3:45 for this. My bestie (actually in London) is still buffering in the queue it’s crazy in there#If Downsview happens I’m bringing her to Toronto
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ahyways hi . liteally hey .whats up
#ive liteally been doing nothing . except for a jigsaw puzzle n then my brain like exploded thtree times over until i finished it#watche a few mahito clips perchance ..#i acrually watched fhe first four eps of kny swordsmith season can u believe it#i ACTUALLY . sory .my very first kny hater moment . SHOCKKQ. JAWDROPP#i dont think it needs to be as long as it is . 4 eps in n i was like yawn.. THEY R DRAGGING ITT ONWNNNNN#probably my least favorite season or like .. installment .movie included#not the actual storyline i LLAUUVRRREE the kotetsu muichirou tanjirou genya mitsuri development#ESPP HANTENGU AND GYOKKOOOOO#but idk . so mny points in the episodes where u can tell they r kinda stalling for time to meet the requirement#like i wouldve been fine w a smaller season two had uzui cour taken the majority and then swordsmith take like . 6 or smth and then go into#the sun conquering finale from swordsmith#anwyays . ANWYAYAYSSSTTT#ive also been kind telling myself tht i want to#maybe potentially possibly apply for a con in a couple of months from now#but ONLY IFFF I CAN MAKE ENOUGG STUFF BY THEN . as a test . bc if i dont have like .. artworks 2 be converted in2 posters then nvm all of t#that#AWUUGG AUUGGG .but i rly want this so T__T mayve i can plan things out and it will feel easier#i guess ill just have to see if i have the time 2 even do it T__T#sry i just saw so many cool any/c posts i ws like I WANT TO DO THT SOOO BADD
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i hope jakey dies except i was friends w both of them for 2 yrs b4 they started dating so im a way they’re BOTH jakey to me. equality win
#x is more i hope JAKEY dies c is more i hope jakey DIES. you understand#.txt#ok wait let me try n apply this to all aspects of my life…w/ a&j there rly isn’t an i hope jakey dies it’s more of a i hope they don’t get#back together for a’s sake. and then f&m there’s also no real jakey but again i was friends w both of them before they got together. also i#feel there’s no jakey bc neither of them r men. i’m a feminist in that way. the 1 cishet couple i used to be friends w tho i hope jakey die#in a car crash for realsies tho. oh and t & her bf. idk i’ve never met him but i hope he dies in the general sense bc it’d mean she has mor#time to spend w us ig
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kawareeeeeeeeeee~~~~~~~~~
#(aka me when my acid burns randomly start throbbin’ when i bend over :( it’s very inconvenient)#in other news this week absolutely s u c k s can i trade it in for a better one—#first there was that acid spill. which. like. ouch???? but the mark is still there and is apparently very obvious. which sucks#then the day after the acid attack™️ meself and one other guy were called out under the assumption that we were doing unnecessary overtime#with the ‘unnecessary’ part running off the basis that there’s a low sample volume bc one single monday had fewer samples than usual#and we were singled out j u s t because our taxi claims for last month were through the roof due to the fact that we live across the country#like??? hellooo????? why are you treating it like it’s my fault that i have to pay upwards of $24 (at least) to get home???#and??? excuse????? why are you extrapolating the previous day’s sample volume to the previous month’s workload as a whole????#but. m a n. the way the mildly higher up lady abruptly shouted at me for asking a question just. pissed me off. for some reason.#she was talking in circles regarding the future of our taxi claims#so i asked if we (now) had to submit a second claims form for the transport company dudes to compensate us#and she yelled at me to stop talking before i could finish :( sadded and annoyed tbh#though i get the feeling that she hasn’t liked me ever since i left some results she asked for between her desk and some other guy’s desk#and someone else had placed their notebook or sth atop it so she couldn’t find it. and she blamed me for it. ha.#that was a few weeks ago though. so. hm. i wonder if she’s still mad about that…#either way. i applied for a couple of jobs that are closer to my place bc screw travelling across the country for an hour every day#s c r e w hour-long train rides i’d rather sleep#i prolly won’t even get the other jobs but. oh well. that’s life ig
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ok actually yeah. i really need to do dishes and go to bed and not stay up late mentalillnessposting a little too viscerally on tumblr the night before i facilitate a workshop in front of the literal president of the university and the vp of my division (LOL about that btw. actively shitting my pants.) but oh my GOD. so saying goodbye to lia was actually fine in the moment. neither of us cried and we talked about all the ways we’ll still be in each others lives and reasons we’ll have to interact in the near future. and she gave me an extremely heartfelt thoughtful gift and we left on a very hopeful note and i felt better and content bc there’s still the rest-of-life and we’ll see each other there. but like an hour before that as i mentioned i was HYSTERICALLY sobbing. in full view of people i know AND people i don’t. and i just sat there and sobbed while everything carried on around me. everything carried on around me!!! and i feel like im about to sob again thinking about it.
#purrs#delete later#idk. i typed a bunch here and then deleted it and now idk what to say. i just feel so lonely. i have had fucked up relationships with every#single older adult in my life and never had someone who could a) stay in my life b) be consistently present in my life c) meet my emotional#needs d) actually See me and accept me for who i am. Like not one person who can be all four of those things. and i have to be all four of t#those things for myself now because im 24 and i missed my chance. but how fucking shitty and painful is that? especially after a year like t#this. the way it’s literally ending the SAME way last year did. huge scary promotion (which i haven’t even talked about on here or to anyone#but lia today actually. but it might be huger and scarier than i thought. which is good but also HUGE -‘d scary. and not a bad thing of bc o#course but it’s so fucking… perilous? like it makes me feel profoundly imperiled because i have extremely good reason to feel that way. and#i have to endure the mortifying ordeal of applying for my own job AGAIN after the first time was so horrible. lol) and also losing a beloved#mentor figure who understood me in a way no one else did which mattered immensely even if they couldn’t do the whole presence thing or#whatever. and now i only have one older adult in my life left (aside from my therapist who doesn’t really count bc i only see her once a#week and we barely know each other still) who is like. here and helping me and i KNOW i am so sick in the head i KNOW and i should not be#writing it but every single day i am fucking terrified that i am being or will be separated from him emotionally or physically jsut like all#the others so. LOL!!!!! i am normal and well adjusted. but it’s like so fucking painful because im grasping at straws but again the reality#is im 24 and the only people on this earth who it is fair for me to expect all 4 from and who should’ve provided it to me are my parents.#and i missed my chance with them forever and now i have to do it myself. and that’s ok sometimes and i can handle it… except in the moments#where im sobbing hysterically and everything carries on. when i am in my darkest moments i want to run to an older adult and have them#comfort me but i truly cannot do that with any of the ones i still have left / regularly interact with for so many reasons. and it’s so#painful it makes me sick sometimes. and now i have to be the romy and the lia i wish to see in this world. but how can i do that when i#haven’t finished grieving over them leaving which feels like leaving ME — NOW — in this moment when i have never needed more support of that#kind more. how can isummon it within myself. im not ready yet. i need a long hug and a hand to hold that won’t (have to) let go. when im#crying i need someone to take me somewhere and comfort me and calm me down. and im 24 so i can’t ask for it. but oh my god i need it. and i#missed my chance. and lia left today and she only ever did that for me metaphorically but… tonight i feel more alone than ever.#and it’s like i don’t even have the emotional intelligence or whatever to ASK for that. bc im playing by ear and i don’t know how to read#the music of it. im self taught. that fucking sucks. that SUCKSSS. also that’s too strong a way to put it liek obviously my friends who are#closer to my age are INTEGRAL to me being able to function and i learn from them and cherish their support. but just like i can’t be a mom#to me my friends can’t either. so it’s like what the fuck do i do. get steamrolled by relentless grief and rage every day i guess.#also side note. everything carried on when i was in brighton too. i came home early ofc but it’s like nothing changed in my absence. and#that has fucked me up SUPREMELY. i think that might be a root of it. like hm… it seems my presence doesn’t have impacts. but idk
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OYGH ONE MORE PRESENTATION AND ILL BE FREE*
* Preparation of overseas trip still needed
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✨Send me an ask with one of the following lines + a pairing and I’ll write you a smutty short in response ✨
1. “I’m doing nothing unless you beg for it.”
2. “Tell me what you want?”
3. “Aren’t you a pretty sight?”
4. “You have two options, baby.”
5. “Those noises you make are sinful.”
6. “You look absolutely wrecked.”
7. “Show me how desperate you are for it.”
8. “What are you looking at?”
9. “I want to taste you.”
10. “Will you let me?”
11. “Pick which one you want me to use on you.”
12. “Does that feel good?”
13. “You like it when I’m mean, don’t you?”
14. “Pathetic, you can do it better than that.”
15. “Aw, it’s cute when you try so hard to do it right.”
16. “I love it when you cry.”
17. “It gets you off when they watch, doesn’t it?”
18. “I don’t even care if you come.”
19. “Let me please you.”
20. “You can come whenever you want, but we’re not done until I’m done.”
#cee speaks#writing#911 lonestar#tarlos#carlos reyes#tk strand#tarlteo#anyone really I can give it a go#however please be advised they will be kinky and probably mean to each other.#if you have any other spec add it in the ask#t&c apply#i have the right to withdraw service at any time#you will be doing me a favour because my brain is mush right now and I need to kick it into gear
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Why does hinge require you to have an identity crisis before making a profile
#like bestie my gender is woman (T&C apply)#my political affiliation requires a long form answer box#and my religion is [vague idk noise]#none of the options suffice#shivangi rambles
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Inside I am shrieking, I am aggressively reblogging as a healthy distraction, and im about to reheat some pizza
It's like I'm 19 again
#sunnie thoughts#shrieking internally#aggressively reblogging#eating pizza#2014 tumblr#tbh it was more 2015 to 2016 tumblr when i was 19 but the pizza can be applied to 18-20 overall#ig 2012 makes more sense for the shrieking about familial bs but thats not A E S T H E T I C
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ME, SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS: EVERY DAY IS A D I G I M O N DAY~~~~!!!!!!!
#koushirouizumi dgmn#koushirouizumi digiadvs#koushirouizumi advs#koushirouizumi 02#koushirouizumi aut#(To the tune of that new thing for Mar1O Day)#('EVERY DAY IS A D I G I M O N DAY')#('bUT D I G I M O N DAY IS AUG 1---' NOPE!!!! 'BUT DIGI C O N' N O NOPE NO TRY AGAIN 'BUT ANNIVERSARY OF ONLY *MY* FAV SERIES' N O !!!!!!)#when youre a u t i s t i c with a sp-in every day is d I G I M O N day b Y E IM RIGH#(OK But Anyway This Is Jokepost Blogrules Still Apply BE RESPECTFUL on This)#(Im Making This Because I CAN)#(And bc Im listening to the Mar1O Day one on Repeat)
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#aaaand this is why i've applied for extra help through disability for household chores#my mother threw a tantrum bc i ran out of clothes and needed to do a laundry#but bc i cannot carry the heavy bin up 2 flights of stairs and thru an extremely heavy door#that means she had to do it#so she just threw a bunch of shit in that i DID NOT want in there#and she shrunk and ruined my brand new 'Trans & Tired' t-shirt that cost me $35#and i just looked it up and its gonna cost me nearly $48 to ship a new one to myself. for a tshirt. what the fucK dude#i am. So unamused#i do not have 50 bucks lying around for a fuckin shirt#and theres no chance in hell she'll offer to help w the cost like i woulda done if the situation was flipped#ughhhh#sorry i know this is such a minor problem comparatively but like.#a) she does this shit all the time out of spite and then throws her hands up when it results in consequences like this#b) that shirt was something i was saving up for for ages and qent to like 3 different markets in the hopes of getting in my size#bc its a small business owner and its limited quantities#c) this is once again why i wanna shake her by the shouldera when she complains that i requested outside assistance#this is why !!!#bc u refuse to help me with things and then when its unavoidable and u have to u throw a fit and end up ruining my clothes#or breaking my stuff or making the apartment inaccessible to me#and u rant and rave about having to do it for ages#only to then turn around and shout at me for trying to help w that by getting someone else in to assist me w laundry / cleaning etc#my guy#if i look up the word hypocrite on urban dictionary its just gonna be a picture of your face#*went *shoulders no i wont fix my typos im too annoyed to care#she knew that shirt was not to go in the laundry. we discussed it several times. but she got mad and put it in anyway#and now i have no shirt. cooool beans. this is why i cant have nice things#i am aware this is a very minimal problem in the grand scheme of things. but i was so excited to wear that shirt to an event next weekend#i rly was. but nooooope
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Beware loyalty that can be bought. As it will always go to the highest bidder.
Alice: Very true. As I'm sure more than one old rich bastard who's only lasted as long as he has due to the help he's managed to procure has found out when said help finds another, better source for what they need.
#~M: I want some questions! now! (ask)#~M: grin without a cat (anon)#~V: Londerland Bloodlines#~T: Nice Place To Live#beware bought loyalty#~C: Alice Liddell#((Alice is in fact referring to elder vampires whose ghouls find another vamp willing to give them their fix#and maybe even treat them better#and thus turn on their old master#but she's trying to be Masquerade-y about it#probably still applies to more than one mortal boss whose employees find better work elsewhere!))#~M: with this hand I will lift your queue
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eldest daughter syndrome but instead of carrying the weight of the family etc i do fuck all
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watching people be blatantly wrong on main be l i k e
#*in which being wrong applies for anything and ✨everything✨ be it actual work stuff，opinions，ship opinions，or even tls#like the tls for a c e r t a i n cd that dropped 20 years ago a h e m—#like seriouslyyyyyy i looked up the eng tls for the lyrics of the songs from my favourite childhood album and they’re all??? machine tled???#like br u h they came out 2 decades ago dont tell me no one was able to refine that tl in that time period </4#it’s just!!! the way they tled the metaphors literally!!!! and!!!! augghhggghhghahshdhdxhhxhxx#and it’s still the first result when you google it and aaauuauaaaaaaaaaaaaa#yes it d e f i n i t e l y isn’t because there prolly isn’t a demand for accurate song tls for m a n d o p o p songs from 2 decades ago#(or so i try to convince myself s obs in machine tls)#s o i s a y 哎哟哎啀啀啀啀哎哟哎哟—#in other news i found out a few days ago that my bro told his gf that i 👀👀ed at the shelves of bl manga when we were on our trip and. well.#ig i’ve filled my cringe quota of the week. see you next week when i try to outcringe the rest of the world once again—
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