#(SERIOUSLY PLEASE BE CAREFUL WHEN DISCUSSING THIS EPISODE)

[thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai]

YOI meta: How episode 7 lays bare Viktor's strong compassion and his struggles with putting himself in someone else's shoes

Of all the events in episode 7, the kiss and the fight in the underground parking get most of the attention, but how often do we discuss the deep care Viktor exhibits for Yuuri in this episode and the difficulties he faces in the process?

Having learned the general aspects of supporting an athlete in competition in episode 5 (I discussed this at length here), Viktor now pays more attention to Yuuri's mood and actively supports him. However, there's a striking discrepancy between his compassion and his clumsy attempts to help Yuuri. Viktor has no prior experience with coaching, and he's not familiar with anxiety either, wherefore some difficulties are to be expected. However, his trial-and-error-informed handling of the situation implies general struggles with putting himself in someone else's shoes.

Let's go through this from the start:

Seeing Yuuri nervous and overtired the morning before the free skating worries Viktor. However, he neither understands Yuuri's feelings nor does he have a clue about what Yuuri is thinking. He thus resorts to his own experience to solve the problem: taking a nap. Note that, whereas this enables Yuuri to catch up on some sleep, it doesn't solve the underlying cause of his anxiety.

However, Viktor underestimates Yuuri's anxiety which renders his effort ineffective. At the warm-up, Yuuri is less than one hour away from his free skating, and his anxiety is getting worse. This forces Viktor to take more drastic action, for which he relies on past observations of Yuuri.

As a coach, Viktor has to weigh the risk of a panicky Yuuri messing up against a calmer but less prepared Yuuri messing up. Yuuri has reached a point where forbidding him to jump during the warm-up is worth a try despite the risk of sending him into the free skating poorly prepared. It's a very savage solution, though. Not that Viktor canonically is savage at times, but in a sport that heavily relies on muscle memory, this instruction borders recklessness. I wonder what Yakov would say to this.

Using observations, past experiences, and logic to empathise with and support someone is a common workaround for people with poor cognitive empathy. Viktor does this a lot, especially in this episode. His low cognitive empathy is also the reason for his canonical bluntness.

In my experience, this workaround leads to mixed results as observation and reason can only compensate for so much. The good news is that it becomes more effective with experience, even more so when one is aware of their issues with perspective-taking. Viktor is only 27 and he's smart and committed; he can totally improve this skill in the future.

Please note that struggling with cognitive empathy doesn't make someone a bad person. There are several empathy types which work together but manifest differently in people depending on personality/neurotype. The emotional empathy, which enables a person to share someone's emotional experience, is not affected by this. In Viktor's case, it works pretty normal as I will detail in the following.

Viktor has learned that a lecture is inappropriate when Yuuri disobeys his instructions (and it doesn't stop Yuuri from disobeying again). As Yuuri is visibly distraught, he thus tries to comfort Yuuri using another method common for poor cognitive empathy: He uses facts and makes it sound as if it's not a big deal. Spoiler: for someone with anxiety, it is.

While facts work great as a great reality check and are more effective than flowers of speech, Yuuri is already too far gone to feel comforted. Facts and logic only work in the early stages of an anxiety episode. From Yuuri's perspective, Viktor's cheerful tone suggests he doesn't take the situation seriously, even though quite the contrary is true. As a result, Yuuri sees his feelings dismissed and withdraws into himself as he spirals into a panic attack.

This image speaks volumes of the isolation Yuuri experiences in his anxiety as well as Viktor's compassion and lack of understanding as he turns away from the camera. This boy is deeply worried but has no fucking clue how to handle the situation as it's uncharted territory. As the free skating progresses, Viktor is under increasing pressure to get Yuuri into a headspace that allows him to skate clean. Again, he relies on logic to solve the situation. However, while removing Yuuri from the anxiety-inducing situation is helpful, it doesn't eliminate the source of his distress.

In Yuri!!!, characterisation is often narrated through minor characters. While Chris's lines express bitterness about losing Viktor as a rival, they also reveal Viktor's change from being 100% devoted to the ice to 100% devoted to Yuuri. And you can see how much he cares for Yuuri on his face.

However, Viktor's efforts continue to be ineffective, which at this point is no longer surprising. So, in the following, we see more clumsy attempts at calming Yuuri in the following:

This entire episode is a textbook example of Viktor gloriously failing at taking Yuuri's perspective. As the situation escalates and Viktor fails to reach Yuuri, he finally starts to analyse Yuuri's distress.

While Yuuri's anxiety dominates the plot, the depth of Viktor's care and compassion is told through small details like expressions and gestures like the tenderness with which he holds Yuuri's face as he covers his ears. Even more so than the scene in the mixed zone, this frame perfectly captures the discrepancy between Viktor's emotional and cognitive empathy.

With Yuuri's free skating approaching rapidly, the pressure to solve the situation is on Viktor, and the inevitable happens: he messes up completely.

I cannot stress enough how much Viktor sucks at perspective-taking. It's already hard for most people to understand anxiety disorder if they haven't experienced it themselves. But Viktor having such a hard time with perspective-taking is a general issue, and it runs like a thread through the entire series. One cannot overcome this by just trying hard enough as it's cause by a differently wired brain.

And so, here in the underground car park, Viktor's inability to put himself into Yuuri's shoes reaches a dramatic climax as he threatens Yuuri with resigning as his coach as a last resort.

While cutting into someone's panic attack by directing their anxiety at something else appears to be an effective emergency exit, it's one of the worst things you can do to a person with anxiety disorder as it creates a new demon in their head. Don't. Do. This. Ever. Yuuri might go into the free skating relieved, but he will agonise over Viktor returning to his home country throughout the next two episodes. As I said above, anxiety defies reason. (I'll write more about how Yuuri's anxiety works in another meta-post.)

Right here, it drives them even further apart, as represented by their physical distance.

Viktor could not be any farther away from understanding Yuuri. He has not a fucking clue what he's doing. He's just trying out what comes to his mind, and it backfires.

Ahh, I love him to pieces but I want to slap some sense into him! I solemnly swear that from now on, every time I agonise over my poor social skills, I will think of how Viktor fucked up in the underground parking and Yuuri forgave him.

Ironically, Viktor's trial & error approach finally succeeds. As Yuuri starts to cry, the underlying cause of his fear is finally unveiled.

Asking Yuuri right away would have avoided this escalation, but that's not how Viktor's brain operates. At least he is aware of his issues to somewhat extent.

To calm Yuuri, he comes up with something I guess is another default that worked in the past:

Nope. This is not how you introduce the subject to your boyfriend, Viktor! Not when he's upset. You could have just given him a hug, but the idea doesn't even cross your mind even though you seem to be a hugger by nature.

On the other hand, Yuuri didn't communicate his needs unprompted, but communication is key. You cannot expect a person with poor cognitive empathy to magically anticipate your needs and read your mind. It just doesn't work that way.

Unfortunately, the Stammi Vicino reference is lost in the Crunchyroll subs, but that's what Yuuri says to make Viktor understand.

Note how close they are again, while people in the corridor are blurred. The creators did an amazing job at letting images speak for the characters.

I doubt asking Yakov would have helped. Not only because Yakov would have used the situation to dismiss Viktor once more as a coach but because Yakov's method is unsuitable for a student suffering from anxiety. However, as Yakov is one of Viktor's to-go-to defaults, he naturally considers the option.

Imagine this scene but with Yuuri. Just nope.

Now back to the aftermath of Viktor messing up and saving Yuuri from going into his free skating with a panic attack by accident rather than design. While Yuuri is relieved of his anxiety, the situation is still awkward as he and Viktor had no time to make up or process the fight.

This small gesture of reassurance is so important as it gives them both closure that enables them to enjoy the free skating. I regard the tissue as a token of peace (I mean it even contains his DNA).

Ultimately, Viktor's trial & error approach to calming Yuuri succeeds. Yuuri, albeit rightfully annoyed, understands the intention and recognises Viktor's affection and compassion in his clumsy attempts to support him, which culminates in him reciprocating his affection by jumping Viktor's signature move.

Does low cognitive empathy make Viktor a bad coach? Certainly not. Viktor is very passionate about the task and his high emotional empathy and his natural drive to support Yuuri with all his heart speak for themselves. Like everyone, he needs to grow into his role and make it work for him. In Yuuri, he has someone who calls him out on his bullshit gives him immediate feedback he can use to improve.

Episode 7 is a major learning experience for Viktor in understanding Yuuri and supporting him in a distressing situation. And as Yuuri can see beyond Viktor's flaws, it brings them closer together.

A side note on harmful mischaracterisation

High/normal emotional but low cognitive empathy is a trait of autism albeit not necessarily limited to it, which is one of the reasons many autistic fans of Yuri!!! including me identify with Viktor. (I have a theory that the creators accidentally gave him a bunch of autistic traits when they applied the socially awkward genius trope, which generates autistic-coded characters per default. I discussed these traits and why autism is a valid interpretation in response to another post that brought up the subject.)

Whether or not Viktor is autistic, his struggles with perspective-taking are so obvious I consider them canon. I suspect this spurred fan theories from Viktor having ulterior motives for becoming Yuuri's coach to labelling him as downright evil. It explains takes like "Viktor became Yuuri's coach because he was bored and doesn't care about coaching at all until some arbitrary point mid-season where he suddenly falls in love with Yuuri". While I believe that everyone is entitled to their own headcanon and can change characters for their fics in whatever way they like, labelling his behaviour as uncaring, ill-intent or assuming a hidden agenda and calling it canon or at least a valid interpretation not only mischaracterises Viktor but hurts and demonises autistics and other people dealing with this issue. So please for the love of god and the YOI creators keep that in mind!

If you enjoy my meta posts, please consider giving my blog a follow or checking out my works on AO3(link in bio). You will find the results of my meta musings in there!

[blinkysrewatchparty]

Welcome to Blinky's Rewatch Party!

Hello Nighthawks, Sniggles, and Latte Hattes! You've found the official tumblr page for Blinky's Rewatch Party--where we organize semi-regular watch parties of Nightmare Time 2 episodes as part of our campaign to both share our love of NMT and hopefully get our grubby little hands on Nightmare Time 3!

Current Rewatch Party Planning Polls: None Currently Active!

FAQ with all the basic info under the cut!

WHEN ARE THE REWATCH PARTIES?

The Rewatch Parties are every other Saturday, at two different times, so that as many people as possible can participate directly! The schedule for the current round of Rewatch Parties is:

HOW CAN I PARTICIPATE?

Here on Tumblr, we will be using the tag "Blinky's Rewatch Party." You can use the tag to liveblog your rewatch, or wait until the story is over to post any and all thoughts at once. If you can't make either of the chosen times, that's okay! The tag's not going anywhere; simply watch and post your thoughts whenever you can. And remember to check out the tag to see what other people are saying!

If the Tumblr tagging system isn't your ideal communal watching experience, that's cool too. We're set up on several other social media platforms that you are welcome to check out!

Also you can follow this blog! It's not super necessary, but it will make keeping up with any updates easier. Also, likes and ESPECIALLY reblogs of any and all posts are greatly appreciated--I don't really care about notes for notes' sake, but since the whole point is to keep people watching Nightmare Time, I'd love for the parties to reach as many people as possible!

WHAT OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS? HOW DO I FIND YOU THERE?

We'll be hosting the watch parties here on Tumblr, but also on Discord, YouTube, and Twitter.

Our discord is currently invite only! DM this account if you're interested in joining and we'll see what we can do. The server is super chill and fun and there's a surprising amount of discussion and theorizing about Chumby.

We don't have a specific YouTube page (yet!)--we'll simply be hosting the watch parties in the comments sections of the Nightmare Time episodes themselves. This will have the added bonus of really showing increased interest in NMT, and getting us one step closer to our ultimate goal: MORE HATCHETFIELD!

The link to our twitter is here: https://twitter.com/BlinkysParty. We will be using the hashtag #BlinkysRewatchParty.

For more information on participating in the Rewatch Parties on various social medias, go here.

WHO RUNS THE WATCH PARTIES?

That would be me! Hello! My name is Brooke (she/her), and you may know me on here as @man-down-in-hatchet-town. I want these watch parties to be as positive an experience as possible, so please feel free to reach out to me on this page OR man-down with any thoughts, questions, or concerns. Unlike Hidgens, I promise I won't show you my résumé!

Our discord is also largely managed by the amazing @abarryswiftexit! They are super cool and friendly and the real hero of this whole endeavor.

YOUR ART IS SO COOL! WHO MADE IT?

I'm so glad you asked! Our awesome text graphics and unbelievable avatar are all by my wonderful fandom best buddy @its-short-for-jackalope. Seriously, guys, their art is so good and interesting, so be sure to check it all out and give his page a follow!

Thanks, Jack! 💜

AND THE BIG ONE: WHAT HAPPENED IN 2005 TO MAKE THE HATCHETFIELD TIMELINE SPLIT?

I actually don't know this one (though I have lots of thoughts and ideas, help)! But I do know that rewatching Nightmare Time will help us get the chance to find out. So let's get our Bliklotep on and do this thing!

[eggingtontoast]

Please tell me more about how you view Jeri!! I know you’ve talked a bit about her before, but I’d love to know more!!

Oh fuck oh shit oh sweet jesus-

Oh dear god Storm my dear friend you already *know* how I am about Jeri but I'll lay it all out here as well, and I'm collecting stuff from my Campfire Confession Document as well as stuff I've thrown into the BRP discord server.

I will add a disclaimer that I headcanon Jeri as a queer woman, so if that isn't your thing, that's perfectly okay! I will also discuss themes of trauma, abuse, and sexual themes.

NOW HERE WE GO:

Let's talk about themes.

Jeri is a character who only shows up in one Nightmare Time 2 episode, but we can glean a pretty good amount of stuff regarding her character and season that with a healthy dose of headcanon!

Jeri’s main theme is suppression.

That much is evident, she’s hiding the fact that she had premarital sex and a child out of wedlock, something that goes directly against what her church wants. She’s held onto this secret for several years, and, seeing as Lumberaxe/Lil Jerrie is roughly 20, decades.

Her actions in Abstinence Camp also get stopped, be it calling for the police and Boy Jerry stopping her, or her being talked over/ talked for. Jeri doesn't really get to speak for herself, not until she's alone with Grace after having chased her down in the woods. Jeri is a follower, not a leader, when she is around Boy Jerry. She gets little bits and pieces to provide input, but other than that she's pushed aside by Boy Jerry. She doesn't get to speak her mind without judgement!

Therefore, Jeri is afraid.

Jeri’s secondary theme is anxiety.

No seriously, look at her. When faced with the possibility of Steph being pregnant, Jeri starts to spiral and project her own fears onto her. 

This isn't to say that she's purely anxious, but that anxiety and fear are a huge motivator for her and the actions she takes. She goes along with whatever Boy Jerry says because he pokes at her insecurities with having a child out of wedlock, for having sex in the first place, etc.

Let's consider where Jeri comes from.

There's not a lot that canonically mentioned in Abstinence Camp, but it's enough to make a mountain out of a mole hill.

Jeri presents the idea of teen pregnancy to Steph in a way that very much feels like she speaks from experience. We can glean from this that Jeri herself was disowned by her family for having premarital sex and getting pregnant. She's most likely from the same church as the Chasitys, so it's possible that she was raised similarly to Grace or even how Mark and Karen were as kids. In this sense, Jeri's family and church were her main pillars of support, and by getting pregnant when she was younger she lost one of those pillars.

Jeri is someone who is very much a person of trauma. With the way she was raised, she was taught to believe a skewed sense of purity, and with being disowned by those who should love and care for her, and that event weighing on her mind so much to project onto Steph? She has trauma.

Particularly about sex, and probably has a more than healthy dose of fear and anxiety surrounding it, desire, and how she is perceived as a woman. She had a child out of wedlock, was not prepared for it at all, and grapples with the shame of it by leaning on her religion and doing her best to teach other how not to be like her. How not to fall to temptation and sin. She thinks of herself as a shameful, filthy creature, because of how she had sex and got pregnant. To Jeri, she had succumbed to a desire she should have been stronger to refuse, and that to her is one of her greatest shames and secrets.

She feels shame toward herself and her more carnal desires because in her eyes she messed up, and doesn't want to make that same mistake again. Getting pregnant was considered her fault, and that sentiment is shared by Boy Jerry, and possibly her family. Not to mention, that Boy Jerry seems to use her guilt over this as a way to keep her on a short leash and control her, whilst denying any part he's taken in it unless it's useful to him somehow.

This is where I come out and say I'm not the biggest fan of Boy Jerry, haha!

Let's talk about gender and how Jeri's called Girl Jeri.

In our modern day society gender is a hot topic. Be it from gender roles, which are still reinforced to this day, to the ways we transcend from such restrictions. In a setting such as an abstinence camp, campers are segregated by a binary gender system, and as such so are the counselors.

Boys and Girls. Boy Jerry and Girl Jeri. Sure, the nicknames are to maintain a fun and friendly atmosphere for the campers, but I argue that this could also be used to maintain the status quo narrative that Boy Jerry set for both himself and Jeri. They're just fun, quirky, camp directors, nothing weird here! They tell the campers at the start of camp that they can use the nicknames too, but even when both Boy Jerry and Jeri are alone together, they call each other by those nicknames, almost like a reminder to not spill the beans.

We can see in the NMT2 episode that Jerry, while unhinged when under pressure, is methodical albeit frustrated when he finds the dead bodies of the campers. He's exasperated, whereas when Jeri comes across Gabe's dead body, she is shocked and immediately is taken aback. This could be evidence enough that Jerry was the one to present the idea of burying the bodies? But they do come out of the trees together with shovels, so this could just be me picking at straws.

Let's talk about gender roles though. In these religious settings it's not uncommon for the people in it to look toward the idea of man and woman, where the man brings home the bread and the woman looks after the house. We could argue that Jeri does more to maintain the illusion of nothing wrong ever happening at the camp, but that this was Boy Jerry's idea all along. In the NMT2 episode there's a scene where Jerry tells Jeri this line:

"I don't think you've thought this through, Girl Jeri. [...] No, they're gonna poke around. And they're gonna find everything. You ready for that? For the whole town to know what you did, dirty girl?"

Like I've mentioned before, Boy Jerry blames Jeri for getting pregnant with Lil Jerrie. This type of sentiment isn't uncommon, blaming a woman for getting pregnant while not bothering to put any of that blame on the man who impregnated her. In the scene with the quote Boy Jerry is using their shared beliefs to control Jeri and maintain their status quo, keeping her under his grasp to keep himself above her. I bring all of this up because I see her being called Girl Jeri as an extension of that want for control. Hell, it could be even worse. Jerry calling himself Boy Jerry to soften his own actions, whilst calling Jeri, Girl Jeri to belittle her. If Lil Jerrie is around 20, the Jerries are possibly around their 40s.

Jeri's a grown woman. She's a grown woman being called a girl, being treated like a girl, do I have to explain how that can be insulting? I don't think so. We can see from how Boy Jerry talks to her that he calls the shots, and he wants her to listen to him and not put up a fight on how he wants things done. I'm sure there's a part of him that does care about Jeri on some level, but when it comes to the potential of people finding out about Lil Jerrie/Lumberaxe, about the number of dead kids on their hands? He's going to strong arm Jeri into doing what he wants. Jeri is a doormat to Boy Jerry, and he will stomp on her to clean his own boots.

So who is Jeri?

Jeri is traumatized. She is belittled and talked down to. She is forced into a skewed sense of what it means to be a woman, and she is stifled by it. Jeri is a victim, a murder accomplice, a camp director, and a mother. She is fearful, and puts up a front of cheeriness for the sake of the campers she looks after. She carries so much love in her heart for these kids, and she wants to teach them and guide them and impart as much good as she can into each summer at camp. She is scared, because she knows what will happen if any of them "fall from grace" like she did years ago. Jeri looks at each dead camper like a version of herself, and she cannot handle the guilt that comes with each shovelful of dirt she lays over their bodies. And worst of all?

She thinks it's all her fault.

[34saveme34]

yall expecting anything interesting from this week's episode?

like. I've been thinking n like I wish I could stop that

because in a sense, the series has been.... very unrpredictable

in like, a bad way

I'm not even saying they're telling bad stories but that it all just goes weirdly and some choices they make are.... odd? yeah, odd

like I guess it's odd they don't use their cast better

or that Melony's whole personality is just Axol (god awful thing I'm about to say but maybe it would've been better for her if she died in revelations so we wouldn't have to see her character reduced to this so badly. like I'm not even kidding)

or making 4 seem so god damn evil then immediately backpedalling on that with the "it's an act" and I'll say it again, if they wanted to make a good story about it being an ACT, they should've shown more signs, even if tiny, they should've shown more. Like you could try and explain this shit away if you want but just think about it, before A Night at SMG4's, what did you believe? Did you believe he was becoming evil or did you believe it was an act? What made more sense to you? It's odd and unpredictable

the also weird ass ignoring of 3 drinking away his problems, it appearing TWICE

and like, that's been a storyline that was going for a while, I even pointed out that like, lately episodes that were all capital had something to do with him failing with it

but no uh, suddenly it's good after that shitty night at 4's shitty ass episode I still hate it for what it did for the story

like, what did that episode even do for it? Anything? NO

NO, and DON'T F U C K I N lie to me, you know that shit didn't happen either

and I'm done lying to myself about it

there was NO indication it actually helped

all it did was drive Puzzles away, but my man had nothing to do with the café, at least not to our knowledge which would be really negligent if they didn't tell us that he actually did

like, there's no reason for why it would get better, there's just nothing

and I knooooooooow I should enjoy the show for what it is and stop complaining because I'm gonna sound like a reddit user on r/smg4 but also like

I AM the complainer, I interpret things and discuss them, I'm all about it, I love discussing possibilities and have a lot of joy out of it

hell I also like crack ideas that sometimes. stem out of desperation

like me when I said, Idk if it was on the blog but me when I said it would be silly if 3 was drinking away his feelings for 4 perhaps in those silly little scenes

but like, nah, team's not brave enough

like what I noticed is that the ship is probably not becoming canon

but not because there wouldn't be a reason to, or they couldn't work out a narrative, in FACT it would be REALLY easy, even just today I thought of a way, in fact all of us think of ways so many times, Sever the Ties was also me thinking of a way, that would've been a narratively nice way to get them together and also show they care for each other

but yeah, I think they're not becoming canon because the writers are scared of doing more than jokes with them, I think what they wanted with them was just 2 homoerotic dudes having silly moments that can be laughed at, almost like they. can't take them seriously (trash friends-esque episodes, please comes back.......... sobbing)

which, aight, I guess

NOT QUEERBAITING THOUGH!!!! QUEER BAITING ISN'T ABOUT HINTS, IT'S ABOUT PROMISES!!!! THEY AREN'T QUEERBAITING US!!!!!!!!!!! THEY DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT GETTING THEM TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!

so yea I'm, not jaded with the show, I'm really not, I still like a lot of things about it and can't wait to see what they cook up this week

and even like, episodes I hate have good moments, not even a question, I can enjoy them (besides the endings)

I just yknow, I like to complain and I KNOW I'm not the only one

you don't need to like, agree with me, you can like botched storylines, I just like complain about said storylines even if I like some parts of it

[selfdestructivecat]

I’ve seen quite a few posts in response to Thomas’ recent video, specifically his year in review. In this video, he discusses the setbacks he’s faced the past few years — such as the quarantine, Joan’s departure, and his own personal doubts and insecurities — and how they impacted the production of Sanders Sides.

And I truly sympathize with him. No, seriously! It’s already difficult to create something this big almost entirely on your own, but I’m sure this year only made things even more difficult. I know I’ve definitely felt insecure to the point of feeling sick when it came to things I created, so I can empathize with the enormous amount pressure he must be feeling.

However, many posts I’ve seen following this video are saying things along the lines of “If people still criticize Thomas after this video, then I’m going to lose it” or “Not that people who criticize Thomas even care, but Thomas really struggled this year. I’m with him all the way!”, or even “I bet SaSi critics will still demand the finale even after this. I doubt they’ll even watch the video!”

I want to clarify that this is obviously not everyone who doesn’t like ts criticism. People who block criticism blogs and/or the tag, who ignore criticism in general, or who feel upset when they see criticism of something they love: this is not about you. You are absolutely valid and entitled to feeling the way you do, and I hope you have a lovely day. Feel free to block me if that would be good for your mental health. Please take care of yourself. /gen

But to those vocally condemning ts critics, I want to make several things clear.

First of all, you are lumping everyone who criticizes the show in with people who demand the finale with no regard for Thomas’ well-being, for the well-being of his crew, and for basic common sense. While many people are upset that the finale isn’t out yet, we aren’t specifically mad that we don’t have a completed video to watch; rather, we are frustrated with what this says about the SaSi crew, their work ethic, and how they treat fans of the show.

We aren’t upset that we can’t watch the finale right now. We are upset that we’ve gotten very few updates about the show during this period between canon episodes. This video provided wonderful insight into why the finale has been delayed, and we would have loved something like this years ago. Obviously it didn’t have to be a 20 minute video, but maybe a Twitter thread? Something small that made us feel heard?

Hell, even announcing an official hiatus would have satisfied the vast majority of critics (myself included), instead of throwing SaSi into this limbo of “Oh it’s going to be finished this year, we promise- oh whoops, never mind! Next year for sure!” It’s been a constant chain of broken promises, and we were more than happy to give the crew some grace the first few times, but after a while, a repeated mistake becomes a pattern. And this pattern is not pretty.

We are upset that the crew seems incredibly disorganized (going back to the lack of updates, and of course taking into account how we haven’t gotten even a single part of the finale in five years), which could affect the quality of this series we all love so dearly. beauty-and-passion has spoken about this a lot (and is a lot more eloquent than me lmao, please go check out their stuff!) The most recent Christmas video seems to demonstrate that the series may be on the right track, and I will admit I was wrong in regards to this video, but the Inside Out video is a mess in so many ways. Even if this doesn’t prove a decline in quality, it certainly indicates a lack of consistency, which can be just as damning for a series.

We are upset that, while SaSi is in this limbo, Thomas seems to have been focusing on his other projects without telling us about this change in priority. He is welcome to pursue other projects, obviously. I’m thrilled that he is having fun with Roleslaying with Roman and My Roommate is Hades. But these new projects have come at the cost of Sanders Sides content, which also points towards a lack of organization. Some clarity towards which projects Thomas chooses to focus on would have been wonderful and greatly appreciated, so that we know not to expect something we won’t receive. And hey, maybe if we knew not to expect SaSi content until much later, maybe we wouldn’t have been constantly asking why we weren’t receiving SaSi content?

(And this is not an excuse for aggressively demanding content, obviously. But I feel like people who are confused and frustrated at not receiving something promised to them are justified in these feelings.)

And maybe we’re jumping to conclusions in many regards. I won’t pretend that we are prophets who can peer into Thomas’ mind and know what he’s thinking and feeling at all times. But it’s pretty damn difficult to say that NONE of the above could suggest that Sanders Sides isn’t held in the same regard as it once was. Hell, Thomas even admits in the video that he doesn’t feel as connected with these characters as he once did.

Second, many people attacking critics are also quick to drag their character. We are impatient, greedy, selfish, and cruel. We don’t care about Thomas; we only care about the end product! More Sanders Sides at any cost! We don’t like critical thinking, since we obviously didn’t watch the video; we only want to find mean things to say about Thomas and the show! We don’t like engaging in civil debate with our fellow Fanders who may disagree with our opinions; we only want to make other people feel bad, and to make others hate the show, too!

Well, guess what? You’re doing to us exactly what you think we’re doing to Thomas: you’re assuming the absolute worst of us and looking for any reason to drag us down.

We are critics. We analyze media (media that we love, mind you) and we acknowledge that it isn’t perfect, that the creators aren’t perfect, and we point it out. But we still love it anyway, because to truly love something is to love it with its flaws, to know that it could be better, to brainstorm how it could reach its true potential, and to keep doing so because you believe in this potential.

We aren’t trying to take away the joy you feel from Sanders Sides. So please don’t try to take away ours.

[justherforfics]

Jessie's girl (hopefully a series)

(A/N) hey i just wanted to say this is the frist time ive ever posted or tried to take a fanfic seriously, so i would like to apologize in advance. this whole fanfiction is based off a dream i have and each chapters respetive song(because ofc each chapter has a song) again i hope you like it. have fun

summary of the series:

jj, john b and you were close friends in grade school, back when you lived on the cut. but when your parents divorce tension rises and you and the pouges drift apart. Now living with your mom on figure 8 and her stupid new husband as they pressure you into law school. will you be able to stand up to your parents? will you rekindle your friendship with the pouges? or do and jj want more? find out on the next episode OF DRAGON BALL-

Warning/ mentions of child abuse, and possible inaccuracies

chapter 1:seven

Although growing up on the cut had its problems, nothing was better than those summers at John B’s house. Back in grade school you and JB became friends fast, as your dad had gone to school together at one point, and back when you were seven, that meant you two were destined to be besties. Not long after JJ joined making the friendship a trio. Almost every day during the summer you would run around the beach covered in salt and sand looking for shiny pebbles and shells, or playing pirates. It was also helpful for your parents, as they used the time you were away as time to “discuss things”. Though you never quite knew what that meant at the time, even if you did it wouldn't matter, as long as you got to hang out with your boys.

Some of those summer nights if you were lucky you could sleep over and watch old scooby doo cartoons and munch on snacks till you pass out. It wasn't until Big John started offering to drop you and JJ at your respective homes did you notice JJ’s home life. You couldn't quite get why, but Mr. Maybanks always seemed to be upset. The first time you figured that he might have stubbed his toe or burnt his toast, that always put you in a grumpy mood. But then when his mood never seemed to change that you thought it was unlikely that he stubbed his toe everyday.

It wasn't until later one evening, sitting at the dock with JJ while JB had gone inside to ask his dad if they could swim again, that it clicked. You were sure you knew why JJ’s dad was always mad or why JJ would have one to two bruises. Why haven't you noticed before!

“Hey j?”

“Yeah” JJ turned to look at you.

“I think your house is haunted” JJ looked at you confused, tilting his head slightly.

“Why, it's not that ugly…is it?” JJ asked nervously

“No! It's just..you dad is always mad, so that must be why.” You respond enthusiastically.” and the scooby gang can’t help him and obviously he doesn't know how to get rid of the ghosts”

JJ sighed and looked down at his lap for a moment contemplating what to say. Then he inhaled with a quick smile before turning back to you.

“Oh? Yeah i  guess that makes sense” he played along.

“Lucky for you i can take care of it”

“Oh really?” he mused, fully turning his body, criss-cross-apple-sause facing you

“Yeah…ok..well not really, but i know how to take care of you” you smiled, turning to face him as well. JJ blushed a bit at the thought before asking

“How are you going to do that?”

“You can live with me!” you answered grinning ear to ear,” I’ll even let you be my first mate on my pirate ship! Just don't tell john b,” 

You put your hand out with a small “deal?”, before he put his hand in yours in conformation.

“ but please don't tell JB, because he thinks he’s the captain still” 

JJ laughed holding his stomach,”i won't”

“Promise?”

“Cross my heart”

again i hope you like it hopefully, and i will try to post constantly. Love you guys and stay safe? i guess, i don't know how to end these lol.

[wigglesdtuff]

I still can't believe people don't think she's vital to the endgame. She is SO important in finding the one piece and figuring out whats up with the void century. They seriously could not do it without her, or at least it would be a whole lot harder. And even then, she's a valued member of the crew regardless. They love her and she loves them and that's all that matters.

"Also ask me about how i'm convinced robin and luffy are half siblings" oh my god i'm so curious about this, please do give me the run down

I don't know how to answer two asks at once, forgive me but this is also for @tomorrowcomest0day

OKAY Thank you for waiting, I had to run an errand and then bought a coffee SO HERE WE GO!

I actually have so many thoughts about this you have no idea. I'm very normal about Nico Robin.

PREFACE: Okay so this is a very silly theory that is almost entirely opinion based/gut feeling related. I'm not an expert at anything and this is not at all in-depth. It does not change the core of the story in any way with regards to Luffy and Robin’s relationship. To me, it already reads as a sibling relationship, and I find it incredibly endearing and sweet - the found family aspect being super important. I just also think it would be very sweet if Robin had a little actual family left after the events of Ohara, especially someone who she already very much cares about. SPOILER WARNING. THIS WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR EGGHEAD, SO AS A PRECAUTION I SUGGEST BEING CAUGHT UP!

At a glance, Luffy and Robin are polar opposites. Luffy is loud, boisterous and impetuous. Robin is quiet, reserved and calculated. HOWEVER, these are two sides of the same coin. They are both very intelligent, but where Robin is incredibly book smart, Luffy has intuition that could rival the gods. There is an overlap where, inexplicably, they understand each other without really having to say anything - moreso than some of the other Straw Hats. The most common example being in Zou when Luffy was trying to recall the name of Marco from the Whitebeard pirates. 

They share a wavelength, and it’s not just this. Luffy has always been particularly blunt - so has Robin. Even as far back as Ohara.

I can dig up examples of Robin and Luffy both being blunt/grim, but I think if you’ve watched the series/read up until this point you’ve seen it. Luffy tells Coby in the first episode that he hates him. He tells Shirahoshi he doesn’t like her because she cries. Robin’s entire schtick is that she says something out of pocket. 

Coming back to the notion that they're polar opposites and yet two sides of the same coin: The potential Sun and Moon symbolism. This one I won't go too much into, because it's entirely conjecture, but we know Luffy is the Sun God, but what in the world is up with Robin's DF and why does it seem like it's in the moon carvings?

Nothing is really confirmed because I don't think they've really discussed Demonio, but if we get a reveal later that the Hana Hana no Mi is ALSO more than just a paramecia, I would just not be surprised. In any case, the potential for the Sun and Moon siblings is just fun to me, so take that with a grain of salt (like this entire post).

Monkey D Dragon - The deadbeat dad himself. It wouldn’t surprise me if he was two for two. So we know a fun little tidbit from one of the more recent chapters, and that's the fact that not only did he know of Ohara's existence (and subsequent nonexistence), he visited to pay his respects and promptly started the Revolutionary Army as a direct result of the Buster Call on Ohara. It's not evidence of any familial connection, but it's also not not evidence, you know? He is of age, and the only mention of Nico Olvia’s husband is vague and alludes to him possibly being dead, but we have no confirmation on that yet. Olvia has white hair, which Robin very clearly does not. She, Luffy and Dragon all have the same hair color. It’s a common hair color, so again. Not evidence. But also not not evidence. We know he was looking for her since she was the survivor of Ohara, but that could always be a cover. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he started the revolutionary army because of Ohara and sought the one survivor for 20 years, that’s all I’m saying here. It very well could be, but a girl can dream.

I HIT ENTER TOO SOON I CAN'T USE TUMBLR

IN SHORT: They are the Sun and the Moon to me, and I think that it's an entirely possible reveal, but it also means nothing to the overall story. She is already his sister tbh. Robin deserves all the family and love in the world, and Luffy also does. I WISH I was better at putting things together, but here are some thoughts LOL. Thank you for coming to my poorly written out Ted Talk, Tumblr really messed up my train of thought.

[snarkylinda]

And when dawn came

I decided to take a shot at @imagining-in-the-margins's New Beginnings writing challenge loosely based around the "characters are getting the hang of being a new parent prompt"; and I say loseely because it's more about the before with a little bit of after sparkled on it lmao anyways I hope y'all like this cause I am new at writing challenges. ❤️

Summary: Spencer calls Emily the night that Cat has the baby he decided to adopt.

Content Warning: discussions of PTSD and anxiety caused by it, general mental instability, mention of sexual assault (the possibility, but it didn't happen), mention of the foster system. Please tell me if I miss anything ❤️

Word Count: 4.4k

AO3 ver.

It was a stormy night when Emily received the call she had been expecting for a while- just for the reasons she would have never imagined.

“Emily” Spencer’s voice was muffled- shaky and slightly out of breath. But oddly firm. He sounded like a man on a mission in the middle of a tropical storm- which he might as well be considering the weather and the fact that he was calling from a payphone. Outside.

“Spence, what the hell-“ Her eyes found her bedside clock- 1 a.m “Why are you calling this? Screw that- why are you��outside at this hour?!” She poured all of the annoyance she could muster at her tone but the thinly veiled concern was creeping in without her permission. Emily hated to admit it, but the absolute trust she had in Spencer being able to take care of himself had evaporated the moment Mexico happened. Even before that, there was this lingering, collective fear that the resident genius would succumb to either his drug of choice or a psychotic episode…maybe both, and all the indications they would have of it would be a phone call- either by himself done in a moment of desperate clarity or by an EMT.

The older he got thought, the more those not totally unfounded fears were allowed to blur in as one of the many possible horrible things that could happen to either of them in or out of the job….

And then Mexico happened. And he was high again. And then Millburn happened. And Emily started to question every day if his pysche would truly survive unscathed….

Survive it did- unscathed? Well…. It had been a little over 6 months since his release, about 4 since he was reinstated at the team, and there has yet to be a single day where Emily didn’t see him zooming out on his paperwork or constantly watching over his shoulder- and everyone on the team, even the most recent additions, were very aware of why he took so many “bathroom breaks” lately.

To fall apart in private.

So now, as Emily heard the rapid breathing on the other side of the phone, along with the occasional sniff, she started to seriously consider calling 9-1-1. Suddenly, sleep was no longer of importance “Hey, what is wrong? Take a deep breath, and tell me what happened.”

“I need your help with something.” Came from the other side, firmer than she would have expected too, but she could already see him in her mind eye, trying to control an upcoming anxiety attack with practiced self-soothing techniques that are subtle enough for the untrained eye to not really notice and for the rest of the team to pretend they don’t see it.

“Ok.” Emily’s response was sharp and poignant. She needed to know why the hell her clearly mentally unstable friend’s deal was, immediately, but knew better than to make Spencer feel cornered, so she waited for him to put his racing thoughts in order.

At long last, he did- but it wasn’t what she was expecting to hear- not tonight, not in a millon years.

“Cat entered labor an hour ago, I want to be there. Would you come with me?”

Silence.

And then….

“What?” It wasn’t the most articulate response ever but in her defense, it was 1 am and her best friend was losing his mind.

Or already lost it.

“She made Lionel Wilkins impregnate her 8 months ago- and uh- pretended it was mine, to manipulate me. Remember?” How could Emily forget? Sure, what happened immediately after was an even bigger shock to her personally, and even to the whole team, but even then there was this little, quilty voice at the back of their heads that resonated with how absolutely messed up everything was before that. How messed up everything was.

´To manipulate me´

Was it working?

“Emily?”

“How do you know she is going into labor, Spencer?” Her voice was tight, clipped. She was doing everything in her power to keep the accusatory tone off, but it was hard. She knew Spencer, she knew he had this weird obsession with knowing everything and anything was beyond simple scientific curiosity-

It was a survival instinct.

So him keeping taps on Cat Adams wasn’t a surprise- if not a bit…. hypervigilantly…

“I….asked Garcia to keep tabs on her in case she tried anything or….if she went into labor.”

If, not when. Everyone had assumed she would get rid of the fetus shortly after her plan backfired.

“Spence-“

“It’s not- it’s not obsession Emily, I just needed to know- I need to know what happened to me, and why, you know this.” There it was, that spike of defensiveness she had grown to know so well. If albeit, a bit less fiery and more….drained. Exhausted. And it wasn’t because of the obvious sleepless nights either.

“A sadistic bitch got obsessed with you and she got the perfect chance to pull a whole scheme, but we defeated her. That is everything there is to it.”

“You know is not.”

“This not about her Em, it’s about….” A pause “We never thought she would actually have the baby”

“Sounds to me like you had thought about it.” Emily sighed, rubbing her forehead. J.J. told her she had the suspicion that, even though the unborn baby was -thankfully- not related to Spencer, he wouldn’t be apathetic towards it when -if- it was born, regardless of the fact he would rather do anything else than see Catherine again.

“…Yes.”  He admitted, knowing that doing laps around the subject would help nobody. Emily had already figured him out, anyways “And my mind is made- don’t try to change it, please. I made this decision months ago….I had some time to think.”  It’s amazing how much free time the average person could have when they skip the whole sleeping thing as much as humanly possible.

“What bureaucratic bullshit do you want me to brush over?” she quipped, her phone now resting between her ear and shoulder as she put her coat on. A scoff at the other side made her lips curl up a bit- it wasn’t quite a smile, not yet, but her features and shoulders relaxed sightly; anything was better than hearing her best friend fighting tears- she had more than enough of that forged at her memory already.

“Don’t worry, this is completely legal-…ish. Cat didn’t have any known family that would accept and the social worker I spoke to would rather not bring a baby with that background to the foster system- wouldn’t be the easiest to get adopted. So I just had to pass a psychological test-“ That he cheated on “-an home inspection-“ once the security tape was removed and the blood was cleaned from his floor “-and the fact that I am currently jobless didn’t faze her as much after I showed her a mail of Yale and Harvard fighting for my love.”

Emily did laugh at that, her hand hovering over the doorknob as she allowed herself to truly take in the implications of…everything, especially the last bit.

As right now, Spencer was no longer her subordinate; her colleague.

Her mind flashed to a conversation she had with him a lifetime ago, over the phone just like now, when the distance between them was way wider than just a couple of streets. When she had tried -and failed- to convince him to get out of his self-imposed insolation, to let their friends in a way she couldn’t be, since her spot in London.

”I loved her Em, I know- I know it wasn’t conventional-“

 “That doesn’t matter, ok Spence? What matters is how she made you feel- God, I am so sorry…”

“You asked me…..if I wanted to have children. When J.J was expecting Henry”

“Yeah, I remember that-“

“I did. I would have traded this job in a second if I had the chance. Maybe settled down, teaching- I am not- I am not the best public speaker but….I would have liked to be there for them”

“You still can.”

“No, I can’t. That fantasy died with her”

Emily remembered the cheer panic -not unlike tonight’s- she felt the moment the other line went dead after that statement, sending their friends a collective text to keep her tabbed, and being so relieved when Penelope texted that Spencer was not longer locking them out of his trashed apartment and avoiding any and all communication after two long weeks of it.

She didn’t tell anyone of their conversation- she knew he was in a bad state of mind to open up like that to her, and respected his wish for privacy, although heavily encouraged to talk to the others about the grief and quilt that still kept his shattered heart onto a tight grip. Ironically enough, the only thing that kept the pieces together.

5 years later, a different kind of grief clenched it and it wasn’t doing a very good job as some bits had escaped their clutch and stabbed his insides at the regular But at long last, she could see something else putting little band-aids over the cuts-

Hope.

“So you don’t need me pressuring whatever social worker steps in the way? Where is the fun at that.” Emily finally spoke, wiping eyes that were becoming mistier by the second “Might I ask why I need to be the one to get out of bed in the middle of the night? J.J is the one that awoke your maternal instincts.” She was already inside of her car.

“For one, I knew you didn’t have company-“ Ok, rude. And the worst part is that he was right… “-and I thought you would like to meet your goddaughter first.”

Oh, she was on full crying now, cool. “What?”

“Surprised?” His smile was so wide and bright it could be heard through the phone.

“Yeah! I mean- you are the boys’s godfather so I thought that J.J- or maybe Penelope since you guys ´co-godparent´- and you met them first and had known them for the longest so I thought-“ She trailed off, overcome with emotion and grateful that the streets were empty. Emily was sure that having this many overwhelmed feelings at once while driving was some kind of street safety hazard.

“Well- I thought about that as well, I truly didn’t want to let anyone out- so I asked Morgan for advice and-“

“Hold on, Derek already knows you are taking Cat’s baby? I already know he had thoughts about it.” After weeks of prodding, Spencer had confessed that even though he felt immensely relieved that Lindsay didn’t actually assault him…he still felt extremely violated. Could feel Cat’s unwanted hands on his torso as she took away his gun out of his waistband in their first meeting, her whole weight as she sat on his lap in that interrogation room, knowing that pushing her off could get his mother killed-

And the knowledge that, if Cat had yet to full-take his body, it wasn’t because she didn’t want to, but because physically she was unable to.

He had ended up confessing everything to the man who he knew would understand this better than anyone else over the phone after throwing every meal he had ever gotten out, not even caring over the fact he was openly sobbing over the bullpen’s toilet, nor the fact that  Derek was hearing everything and more over the phone, nor the fact that Emily was witnessing it from her spot by his side as she awkwardly rubbed his back- he had been so absolutely out of it she remembers the first time he said after -literally and figuratively- spilling his guts out was asking what she was doing on the men’s bathroom. Truly someone who should be trusted with two guns.

Needless to say, Cat wasn’t someone Derek held in high esteem.

“Of course he did- but he respected and supported my wishes” A pause “After I told him he would be the godfather- anyways, he told me that when thinking of who should have become Hank's godparents he thought of who, and I quote "saved his ass in more than one occasion and would bail him out of jail if the time came" so yeah, I thought it was a good enough method so- yeah, you quite literally bailed me out of jail so- J.J and Penelope will understand.”

Oh, he took the last part literally.  “Oh my God, I will co-godparent with Morgan- if anything happens to you I will move to Chicago and raise baby Reid with them. I can already see the shenanigans inssuing”  Emily’s sarcastic tone didn’t match her bright, wet eyes nor the wide smile on her face; somehow, she knew Spencer looked about the same on the other side of the call.

"Why are you writing me off so fast?" Spencer shook his head, his wet locks all over his eyes and while that would normally bother him, his mind was too occupied with the possibilities- for the first time in months, he had his sight in the future instead of dreading it or downright writing it off. The panic his shell-shocked soul went through when he heard the name of his worst most recent nightmare over the phone was slowly turning into a different kind of panic. He knew he wasn't ready to face her again, not yet. The adrenaline that had given him the strength to do so six months ago had faded entirely and left an even rawer open wound.  

He knew he would see her again- now a part of her was part of him, it was unavoidable- but he would rather wait a little for the flesh wound to, at very least, grow a scalp.

"You feeling ok?" Emily had to ask once the amicable, unstable banter and watery laughter had died down to a weary silence. 

"Overwhelmed I guess.... I just can't believe I am doing this.... it is bad I can't wait to snatch a newborn out of her mother's arms? Hell, she won't ever get to hold her- I spoke to the nurse of her....past, and now that she knows I will be the one to take her baby, well...."

"She can hurt her to get to you. You made the right call, Spencer" Emily murmured, turning the wheel as her eyes caught onto the lone figure of her best friend, bending over a payphone way too small for him. She was thankful she brought a towel with her- the alleged genius was soaking. And shivering. Though she had her doubts that the reason behind his visible quivering was just the cold. As she opened the door and gave him the biggest smile she could muster, she couldn't help the excitement that slowly blossomed in her gut. "Come on, genius. Let's meet my goddaughter."

_____

The towel was functioning like a shock blanket at this point. A soft layer of protection and comfort that covered a very anxious Spencer's shoulders as he had his eyes glued to his shaking, fidgeting hands. Emily reentered the waiting room carrying their second batch of coffees, and sighted as she noticed the way he frantically looked over his shoulder before restarting his staring competition with the floor. She had been worried Cat wasn't the only trigger pulling at his unstable pysche.

They were in the heart of a federal prison, mere meters away from the actual cells.

She was sure Spencer was wearing a tie before she left.

"I brought you decaf- you are already anxious enough." She placed his cup by his side, earning a scoff.

"You know caffeine has no effect on me anymore"

"Why did you drink our entire budget on longer cases, then?"

"Placebo effect." Spencer shrugged, but took a sip of his very boring drink anyways. His eyes were fixated on his cup as he spoke again "Did they tell you anything?"

Emily bit her lower lip, her hands tightening around her own cooling beverage. She had used the excuse of searching for coffee to have an actual glimpse of what was happening in the room next to them- the birth itself was fairly standard considering the circumstances. The only thing that stood up to her was what she couldn't tell Spencer-

Catherine, despite the pain and exertion of labor, was smirking the moment she noticed Emily's presence.

"Tell him I said hi", she had mouthed between contractions.

"It....might take a bit more. She is not fully dilated yet" Was what Emily said. 

"Oh, ok...." was Spencer's reply. Emily had worded her response as a carefully planted trigger for a long-winded rant about anything and everything about the process of giving birth- and yet, here he was, a ball of nerves and what she could deduce was the start of acute depression. It was easier to see when they weren't in the middle of a crisis.

It was truly starting to settle in that on Monday, his desk would be empty.

"I am sorry for...not telling you earlier. I know you'll have a lot to do, finding my replacement-"

At that, Emily had to snort "As if I could ever find anyone that could replace you regardless. But I agree it would have been nice to be prepared. We could have thrown a goodbye party- we still will by the way."

"That sounds nice" The corners of his mouth twitched- it wasn't quite a smile, but close enough. "I'll still stay here, by the way. Mom is adapting well to the new center she is and, well, um-" His voice cracked a bit at the last bit "I don't want to be away from you guys- even if we won't see each other nearly as much."

"Yeah... yeah... you know what, Spence?" At that, he turned toward her, eyebrows raised in a silent question. "I am proud of you."

"Even when I dragged you out of bed at 1:20 a.m because I wanted to take in my worst nightmare's daughter but couldn't go the full route without a nervous breakdown?" His quip came out more snappy than he wanted it to but he couldn't help it- the last time Emily said that was the last day he had as a free, mentally sound-ish man. Spencer didn't believe in bad luck- but he sure did believe in triggers, and even after tossing his tie off he still felt suffocated so it wasn't very appreciated.

Emily, however, was not even fazed by the outburst. She was expecting it. "I am serious, Spencer. You are doing something that takes a tremendous amount of strength. And the fact you called me because you knew you needed help, well, you are the one with the Eidetic Memory, fill in the blanks- and don't focus on the after, just the fact"

"It takes a tremendous amount of strength to care for family, and even more to ask for help."

Family.

"Oh my God...." Finally, after hours of trying to not break -too much- Spencer couldn't suppress the tears that built in his eyes already reddened eyes as the realization of why he was here, why he dragged his friend out of bed, why everything felt like too damn much-

He was going to become a father.

He had been thinking about this for months- he ever had a little room ready for the newborn, but he had been told to keep his expectations low. That this still was a fetus growing in a high-security prison, he of all people was acutely aware of everything that could go wrong in there, his ribs still ached from the times he was used as a punching bag.

And yet, here they were. 

"Yes, oh my God indeed" Emily chuckled, her own eyes far from wet for the second, but without a doubt, not the last time of the night as she grabbed Spencer hands shaking and held them in hers, letting him lay his head on her shoulders as a shockwave of awe, expectation, anxiety and joy filled his quivering form.

That was how the nurse greeted them a couple of hours later, a bright smile on her face. 

Phoebe Diana Reid was born on November 4th, 2018. 7:32 a.m. She weighed 6 pounds. 

She was absolutely perfect.

So perfect, in fact, that her adopted father had surprised his best friend by letting her mother see her before they left the prison. 

For a split second, he saw something in Cat's eyes- something akin to longing.

For a split second, he felt something akin to pity.

"Don't worry... I'll do my best so she doesn't end up like you."

"I am sure you will, Spencie, I am sure you will."

That was the last time they saw each other. 

_____

Emily decided to visit her ex-subordinate for the first time since they came back with little Phoebe. It has been a few busy months for the BAU- Spencer Reid's absence was more felt than ever, its permanency slowly sinking in. It was depressing to see his empty desk every morning, but they all knew it was for the better.

Spencer messaged them every day anyway. His aversion to technology pushed to the back when it came to showing them the very important moment of Phoeby raising her head, along with three paraphrases explaining why it mattered.

 Neither of them complained, she truly was adorable and his disjointed ramblings could be summarized as "look at my baby right now, she is awesome."

Emily shook her head at the latest pic he sent- it was of Phoebe laying on a fluffy, blue blanket -a present from J.J- next to her father as he was re-organizing the newest bookshelf in his room, filled with all sorts of fairytales and other children books for the infant that didn't even know of her own existence- lucky her.

 "Spence? It's me, Emily. Stop planning for Phoebe's future in Cambridge and open the door." 

Soon enough she heard the clicking behind all the chains that had to be undone to enter the Reid household and sighted. That was...another thing.

Before prison, Spencer only felt that he needed his gun in the field, when he wanted to make himself useful... after it, it had become a compulsive need to keep himself safe, to have some semblance of control in his life. That was how one service weapon became two. And now that he was no longer in law enforcement the two became zero. With nothing to protect his newborn but his wit and the closest blunt object he could get a hold of, and lingering PSDT, his door was now filled with all sorts of lockers and blockers that not even a forceful tackle could bug. A special present from Derek.

Whenever it was to appease Spencer's paranoia or his own it was a mystery, but everyone seemed happy regardless. 

Finally, the fire hazard opened as Spencer's big, exhausted eyes met hers. Having a baby and sleeping enough was never compatible with a normal person, let alone someone who had looked like an anemic raccoon since his 20s. "Emily? What are you doing here?"

"It's my free day so- I guess I decided to pass by and see how things are going." She stated as he stepped back and allowed her into his apartment. Turn out that it didn't have to be as "baby-proof" as she originally thought. Spencer had always thought about his place of rest as something that should be safe for vulnerable people- of course, when he designed it like he was thinking of his mother, rather than his child, but one of the very few perks of parentification is that you are pretty much a caretaker before puberty, so he was sort of ready for it. "Where is Phoebe?"

"On my room- and for your info, Cambridge is not in the life plan- I don't have contacts in Europe" Spencer pouted, already on a purposeful quest for the light of his eyes.

"Oh, but I do." Emily shrugged, sitting on the surprisingly unused couch. She knew Spencer had a thing for falling asleep there, since it kept his sleep enough to limit the access to any dream whatsoever- but Phoebe didn't like he had to relent and lay on his bed like a normal human being. She might not be helping his sleeping schedule but she sure was doing his spine a service. 

"Look who is here? It's Auntie Emily!...even though you are barely conscious enough to recognize faces, let alone names. Oh but you are doing such a good job at that, yes you are." Spencer cooed, holding Phoebe close as she giggled and babbled, a stuffed cow in her little hands. "They start to recognize other's names by about 7 to 9 months but recognize theirs as early as 4 to 6. So technically, she already knows she has the cutest name ever." He explained, an excited, infectious grin on his face that Emily couldn't help but imitate.

"That is great Spence, hi little Phoebe. Oh you are so adorable with those-" Her grin vanished as her eyes registered what her one and only godchild was wearing "Spencer, why is my girl wearing a fuc- freaking Chewbacca pajama?"

The baby girl was, in fact, cladded in a furry, brow onesie. Spencer frowned, offended. "It's actually an Ewok, they are considerably smaller than Chewbacca and-"

"Just don't dress her up like that for school and we are good." Emily deadpanned, accepting a very eager Phoebe back in her arms "Hi sweetie, so you recognize your name now, huh?"  A sudden thought struck her as she made sure to keep her hair out of said baby's grabby hands "Hey Spence, I always wondered...why Phoebe? Like what is the story behind the name- because I know there is one."

At that, Spencer's eyes shone as he took his daughter's tiny hand in his, his thumb rubbing the back of it with much care and gentleness, before he spoke again "Phoebe means Bright or Radiant in Greek. Everytime I think of the months I spent locked in a dark hole, I see her and- while it doesn't make the feeling go away- it gives me a reason to actually try, you know? A radiant light in the darkest night...so to speak..,"

And that was enough for Emily.

[celestiall0tus]

Tales of Bloody Bug and Chat Noir - Chapter 10 - Reflekta

Beginning || Previous || Next

(Before we get into this, a quick amend from canon. In the episode Reflekta, we see when Chat Noir is transformed into a Reflekta, he loses his miraculous. This has been amended so when they are hit, their jewels don't disappear.)

            Alix sat on the ground as she watched the class before hers got their photo taken. She listened to the mindless chatter of her peers. Nathaniel mumbled to himself as he took notes for his latest comic idea. Adrien and Nino talked about some new music album. Juleka, Rose, Marinette, and Alya discussed Juleka’s self-inflicted jinx of not having a proper photo taken since she was young.

            Alix rolled her eyes as the class ahead of them finished. The photographer set up for her class before he ushered them in. She joined Max, Marinette, Mylene, and Rose on the bench for the bottom row.

            “Look, Sabrina, they’re up front in the baby seats. Go on, rugrats, don’t forget-!”

            Alix leaned over and locked eyes with Chloe. She snarled and slammed her fist into her hand. Chloe gulped and shut up.

            “Seriously, how do you do that? One look and that’s it. Chloe doesn’t say anything else to you,” Marinette remarked.

            Alix crossed her arms. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

            Marinette sighed and faced forward.

            The photographer got everyone else into position while Chloe complained the entire time not being next to Adrien. The photographer readied to take the photo until Marinette reminded him of Juleka, who he almost left out. Alix wished they had because the photographer spent too long rearranging them for a simple photo.

            “This is ridiculous. My stop is unacceptable!” Chloe yelled.

            Alix growled and jumped to her feet. She whirled around and faced Chloe, who tried to push Juleka out of the way. “Shut up! Shut. Up! No one cares what you want! Just stand in your stupid little spot and let’s get this over with!”

            Chloe flinched and stood in her spot.

            “Alix, my office after this,” Mr. Damocles said.

            “Worth it. Someone has to do the job you two refuse to do,” Alix muttered.

            Mr. Damocles and Miss Bustier sighed.

            “Alright, we’re perfect now. Everyone say, ‘Spaghetti,’” Vincent announced.

            “Spaghetti,” everyone said.

            Vincent clicked the button as the camera’s battery died. “I don’t believe this. I’m sorry, I have to go fetch another battery. Nobody move!”

            Alix let out a groan of frustration. She slipped off the bench onto the ground. “Can I just go to your office now, please?”

            “Not until after the photo. Get back into position, Miss Kubdel,” Mr. Damocles said.

            Alix huffed. She sat back on the bench as Juleka moved. She listened to Juleka ask to head to the restroom. She rolled her eyes until she heard Chloe mutter to Sabrina to ensure Juleka doesn’t come back.

            “Oh, Miss Bustier, I need to go to the bathroom,” Sabrina announced.

            Alix turned her head as Sabrina ran off and neither Miss Bustier nor Mr. Damocles stopped her. Didn’t either of them hear Chloe’s remark? She couldn’t have been the only one.

            “I have to go to the bathroom too,” Alix announced.

            “Alix, no. Stay put,” Mr. Damocles said.

            “But it’s an emergency.”

            “I don’t care. Stay.”

            “It’s a bloody emergency,” Alix growled.

            Mr. Damocles sighed. “Fine. Go.”

            Alix ran to the girl’s restroom. She burst into the room as Sabrina stuck a chair against the stall door.

            “Oh, you fucking bitch!” Alix roared.

            Sabrina gasped and screamed. She ducked away from Alix and ran back to the group. Alix snarled and tore the chair away. Juleka burst out of the stall once the chair was gone.

            “Let’s go!”

            Alix grabbed Juleka arm and yanked her out into the courtyard. Alix yelled out, but the group had their picture taken without them. The class had moved from their spots so the next class could get their photo taken.

            “Thank you for trying, Alix, but it wasn’t meant to be.”

            “That’s not true. It’s all because of Chloe!”

            Juleka frowned. “That’s right. And so long as Chloe is in the picture, I’ll never be seen or heard. I’ll always be invisible.”

            Juleka tore her arm away and ran off crying.

            Alix reached out in the direction Juleka ran off in. She begged her legs to move, but a sinister rage held her in place. Her stomach knotted and plunged as the sickening familiarity of this all-consuming rage. She took several deep, labored breaths in a desperate attempt to calm herself. She staggered back against a wall before she ran into the locker room. She fumbled with her locker combination before she tore it open.

            Alix reached into her backpack for her family heirloom. Tikki looked up in shock at the frenzied panic Alix was in. Alix clutched her heirloom and leaned against the lockers. She clicked down on the heirloom’s lid. It popped up with the hologram. She stared at it as she focused on calming herself.

            “Alix, what’s wrong? I’ve never seen you look like that,” Tikki said.

            “I felt it rise. That same anger from, well, not too long ago.”

            “What kind of anger?”

            “Blinding. Dangerous. Murderous. I… I don’t mind my anger, but I despise that side of it. And I felt it again. Almost lost myself. I just might still, and I don’t want to.”

            “What triggered it?”

            “I… the same that tried it before. Lessons I saw over and over again. Heard time and time again. Don’t let yourself be walked on. Don’t let yourself be taken advantage of. Don’t put up with anyone’s crap! This world will always take advantage of everyone, especially girls. So don’t ever let your guard down. Never let people see you bleed.”

            “Alix, that’s-,” Tikki started.

            “And I saw it. All the time. People would try to take advantage of her, but she wielded anger like a weapon. She stood her ground, and no one messed with her. That was until the world struck back and she withered away before my eyes. In the end, she just… she stopped… fighting. Her anger dulled and will gone. A-And… I… I just….”

            A new anger consumed Alix. This one bittersweet and foul. It mingled with her sorrow as tears gushed from her eyes uncontrollably. She gritted her teeth as she closed her watch and curled into a tight ball. Tikki wormed her way and settled at the nape of Alix’s neck.

            “Allow yourself this, Alix. You need to feel,” Tikki said.

            “I don’t want to. I don’t want to be reminded of it. I want to forget it and move on. I want-!”

            “You can’t keep ignoring the circumstances of your mother’s passing. You’ll need to face it one day. That day need not be today, but for today, let yourself feel.”

            Alix whimpered as more tears flooded her eyes. She curled into a tighter ball until she felt a hand on her shoulder. She gasped and scooted away. Her eyes widened seeing Luka, Juleka’s brother.

            “Are you… ok?” Luka asked.

            “Do I look ok?”

            Luka flinched at Alix’s harsh tone. Guilt tore through her that mingled with everything else.

            “I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that. No, I’m not, but it’s ok.”

            “What’s… that?” Luka asked as he pointed to Tikki.

            “Oh. It’s a prototype I’ve been working on. I want to be an engineer, so I made a little AI creature, bot. I hoped it would be a nice companion, but it’s still in the development stages.”

            Alix nudged Tikki, who flew up. Tikki smiled and bowed her head.

            “Greetings. I am Proto-Beta, codename: Tikki. Pleasure to make your acquaintance, friend of Alix.”

            Luka’s eyes widened. Alix tilted her head seeing the smallest spark of life to his otherwise dull, blue eyes.

            “Do… do you think you could… make one for… me too?” Luka asked.

            Alix’s jaw dropped. “I-.”

            The door to the locker room slammed against the door. Luka recoiled and covered his ears. Panic and dread were plastered on his otherwise stoic face. Alix hid Tikki as a girl in a neon pink jester’s outfit strolled in. Alix curled back her lip at the rubbery look of the jester girl that carried some hint of Juleka’s face.

            “Juleka?” Alix and Luka asked.

            “Juleka’s gone. My name’s Reflekta and you’re both about to join the ranks of mes.”

            Reflekta aimed her right arm at Luka. He fumbled to stand only to fall back to the ground. Alix jumped up and shielded Luka from the attack Reflekta shot out from the trinket on her hand. Alix gagged as her appearance became a mirror image of Reflekta.

            “That’s much better. Now, stand aside. It’s time my dear brother got his extreme makeover,” Reflekta demanded.

            Alix steadied herself and dropped into a fighting stance. “Make me move.”

            “Do you really think you can take me?”

            “If I’m stupid enough to face Nathaniel as a villain, what makes you any different? At least he had something useful to keep me at bay. Can you say the same?”

            Reflekta hesitated. She stepped back and ran out of the locker room.

            “That’s what I thought,” Alix muttered.

            “Th-th-that wasn’t… that wasn’t Juleka… was it?” Luka asked.

            “It seems so. Look, go hide. Like this, she isn’t herself. You’ll be safer until she’s freed.”

            Luka nodded.

            Alix smiled and ran out of the locker room. She stopped and gawked at everyone that had been transformed. She looked to the front doors to see them blocked by lockers. She ran upstairs to find an empty classroom. She frowned seeing they all had students in them. She changed course and headed into the library. She ducked behind an isolated bookcase and transformed.

            Bloody Bug sighed, relieved to see her normal self and not Reflekta’s image. She ran out of the library in search of Reflekta. She frowned see the countless clones as she worked how to identify the real one.

            “Bloody Bug! You’re not Chloe, but you’re just who Hawkmoth wants,” Reflekta yelled.

            Bloody Bug looked around as a beam came her away. She ducked before, narrowly missing it. She stood as Reflekta approached her.

            “Where’s your precious kitty, Bloody Bug? I’d hate for him to miss out on this wonderful opportunity to receive the facelift of the century with his little Bug.”

            Bloody Bug blinked and looked past Reflekta at Chat Noir. He readied himself as he stealthily closed the gap. She snorted as she raised her right hand and waved it around.

            “Don’t you think this is all a little extreme?”

            “Nothing is too extreme. Not when it comes to Chloe. I’ll make her pay for excluding me. I’ll make her pay for getting rid of me. But only after I’ve dealt with you and claimed your earrings for Hawkmoth.”

            Bloody Bug hummed. Chat Noir was in position to take Reflekta by surprise. A thought crossed her mind to help him. She smirked and shrugged.

            “Alright. Nice and easy, right?”

            “Wait. Just like that? You’ll hand them over?” Reflekta asked.

            “Sure. Why not?”

            Bloody Bug approached Reflekta, who held out her hand for the earrings. Bloody Bug grabbed Reflekta’s arm and flipped Relekta over her head. Reflekta screeched as she was slammed into the ground. Chat Noir rushed in, grabbed Reflekta’s right arm, and smashed the trinket. The Akuma flew from the remains. Bloody Bug caught and purified it. Reflekta reverted to Juleka along with everyone afflicted.

            “What-? What happened? Where am I?” Juleka asked.

            “You’re back in your school. After being akumatized,” Bloody Bug answered.

            “I… I’m sorry.”

            “What happened to push you to accept such a deal?”

            “I missed out on the class picture because of Chloe’s pranks. Alix, my classmate, tried to save me, but because of me, we both missed out on it. I felt awful. Not only did my jinx ruin my photo, but my friend’s as well. I felt powerless. No one sees or hears me. The only time they do is when I act like my mom, but I don’t always like acting like my mom. But I have to just to be acknowledged by anyone.”

            “Not me,” Luka whispered.

            Juleka gasped. They all looked over as Luka shuffled towards them. She burst into sobbing fits as she ran towards Luka. She tackled him in a hug that sent them both to the floor.

            “Luka! I’m so sorry! I must have terrified you! I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

            Luka shook his head. “Alix protected me from… Reflekta.”

            Bloody Bug hummed. She looked out to the courtyard to see Chloe confronting Mr. Damocles. Her eyes widened seeing Marinette getting reprimanded. She started towards them but stopped as the anger nipped at her. She covered her mouth and staggered back.

            Chat Noir caught Bloody Bug. “Woah, easy. Are you ok?”

            “I… I don’t think I can confront Chloe on her part in this. I’ll…!”

            Chat Noir smiled and squeezed Bloody Bug’s shoulders. “You don’t need to. I’m here. Let me handle this.”

            Bloody Bug gulped as a tear fell from her eyes. “Thank you. I… I’ll see you later.”

            Chat Noir watched Bloody Bug leave before he approached Mr. Damocles, Chloe, and Marinette. He caught snippets of their conversation where Chloe caught Marinette sneaking into Mr. Damocles’s office with video evidence on her phone. He snarled and snatched Chloe’s phone.

            “Who dares-!” Chloe started.

            Chat Noir snapped the phone in half, then handed it back to her.

            “How dare you! I’m friends with Bloody Bug, fleabag, so you better watch yourself. She just might make a rug of you once she hears what you did,” Chloe snapped.

            “You think Bug would help someone as vile as you? Not after everything you did to hurt that poor girl that was akumatized?”

            “Please. Who are you really going to believe? Some nobody or someone like me.”

            “Chat Noir, has the threat been dealt with?” Mr. Damocles asked.

            “Reflekta is no longer a problem, but she’s still hurting. There’s still a risk she’d transform again.”

            Mr. Damocles stiffened. “Is there something we can do to help her?”

            “Yes! Let us take the photo again. Please, for Juleka,” Marinette butted in.

            “No way! Besides, aren’t you paying the photographer by the hour?” Chloe reminded.

            “What’s another hour compared to another akumatization?” Chat Noir countered.

            Mr. Damocles sighed. “Very well, we’ll take the photo again. I’ll let the class and photographer know.”

            “What? But-!” Chloe started.

            “Face it, Chloe, you’ve lost this one. Bloody Bug isn’t here. Even if she was, she wouldn’t defend you. Not for something like this.”

            “That’s not true! She’s my friend!”

            Chat Noir snarled, his ears pinned back, and tail lashed. “You don’t deserve to be her friend. You don’t deserve to be her anything. She’s the most amazing person ever and you’re just a little monster. You don’t even need an Akuma to be one.”

            “How dare you! You’re going to eat those words, fleabag. Mark my words!”

            “Consider them marked,” Chat Noir growled.

            Chloe snarled and stormed off. Chat Noir shook his head as he hid away and de-transformed. He snuck around until he found Nino and stayed near Nino but kept his eyes on the photographer. He was relieved to see them set up to have his homeroom class take their picture again. Everyone was arranged as before, except Alix was missing.

            “Miss Bustier? Where’s Alix?” Mylene asked.

            “She seems to have left school grounds. I’ve already informed her father of this,” Mr. Damocles answered.

            Adrien knotted his brow as he looked at Alix’s empty seat. A budding suspicion gnawed away at him. Bloody Bug had left, and Alix was still gone. There were some similarities between the two, but were they the same person?

            “Alright, last time we do this. Everyone say, ‘Spaghetti.’”

            “Spaghetti!” everyone cheered.

            The photographer took the photo and straightened. “Alright. All done.”

            Juleka beamed beside Adrien. Marinette, Alya, Mylene, and Rose all hugged her as the final bell rang. Everyone dispersed, gathered their things, and headed out. Adrien took a moment to look around for Alix but didn’t see her anywhere. He hummed as he headed out to his ride.

            Adrien got in the car but kept his eyes on the school. He waited to see if Alix would make an appearance at all, but she was still missing. The suspicion gnawed and ate away at him the entire ride home. He headed straight for his room up to his window.

            “Uh, what do you think you’re doing?” Plagg asked.

            “I’m going to look for Bloody Bug.”

            “How? She’s likely out of uniform, going about her life. Just as we should by staying here and eating cheese.”

            “No, Plagg. She’s hurting. Something happened and she needs someone. She’s probably alone and suffering. I can’t let that stand. She needs me. Even if she doesn’t, she shouldn’t have to be alone.”

            “You don’t even know who she is. How will you find her?”

            “I have my suspicions.”

            “What? Well, nix them. You two aren’t supposed to know who each other are.”

            “Why is that?”

            “Because that’s how it is.”

            “Well, it’s stupid. Especially when my partner is out there suffering. You want to know what’s stupid? Expecting me to sit by for her to bled because of some rule you can’t even give proper reasoning behind.”

            “Look, not everything is going to make sense. Regardless, the rules are there for a reason. Usually to keep you guys safe, but that’s that.”

            “Safe from what exactly? What harm could come with us knowing?”

            “Well… I mean, your enemy could akumatize one of you and learn who the other is. He may come for either of you directly.”

            “Wouldn’t that help us stop him?” Adrien pressed.

            “I mean, it could, but it could also put you two in a lot of danger.”

            “Maybe so, but you’re running on an assumption that we’d get akumatized in the first place. I know I’d never let our enemy manipulate me, and do you honestly think Blood would fall as easily too?”

            “Look, she’s got spunk, but also a temper. She’s wild and impulse, so she’s a risk.”

            “You’re wrong. If she’s so much a risk, why isn’t she akumatized right now?”

            “Maybe… maybe Hawkmoth didn’t want to use her right now.”

            “You’re telling me that someone with such strong emotions with some kind of major trauma isn’t as enticing as say some kids who got humiliated. Sure, it’s no better, but you really think he’d pass up on all that negativity?”

            “Well, probably not.”

            “Exactly, and right now, she needs me. She needs her best friend.”

            “And where are you even going to start looking? Even with your hunch, she could be anywhere.”

            Adrien paused. Plagg did have a point. He could end up searching the entire city to never find Bloody Bug. Even if she was Alix, that still didn’t help him as he knew less about Alix than Bloody Bug. Except he knew about Bloody Bug’s late mother. There could be a chance she could be at a graveyard, visiting her mother’s grave. It was a shot in the dark, but it was worth investigating first before he roamed aimlessly.

            “Maybe so, but I need to try. I’d rather spend the rest of the day looking for her and not find her than to not try at all.”

            Plagg sighed. “There’s no convincing you otherwise, is there?”

            “Not at all. Let’s go. Plagg, claws out.”

[pencil-peach]

G Witch Onscreen Text: Episode 19

Haku Haku ! It is once again time! This is part 20 of my series where I transcribe and discuss the onscreen text of G Witch, as well as talk about and analyze interesting things episode by episode. We're on Episode 19: "Not the Best Way."

<< Click here to return to Episode 18 Or Click here to return to the Masterpost

We're going back to Earth...

We open the episode on a conversation between Guel and Miorine. Miorine comments on how close they are to earth, and Guel responds, "You've always wanted to go there, right?" (Left)

It could be read that Notrette might have been Earthian, which is one of the reasons why Miorine wanted to go there so badly, to be closer to her mother.

After Kenanji enters and leaves, Miorine asks him, "Don't you hate being back on Earth even more?"

I'm really really fascinated by this line because it means that at some point, Guel and Miorine talked about what happened to him when he was on Earth. How much did he tell her? Does she know about Seethia? Does she know that he killed his father? What I wouldn't give to have seen that conversation.

On the whole, I really enjoy the brief glimpses we get into their post-Asticassia dynamic. It's hard to call them friends exactly, but it's clear their relationship is now built on mutual trust and respect. And despite the seriousness of their circumstances, they can still be silly with each other: Miorine: Are you really the same Guel Jeturk...? Guel: Plus, I can't trust you to handle the negotiations alone. Mio: HA??? What's that supposed to mean?? [Angrily drinks her juice.] Or like in last episode where Guel shows her the schwarzette and she's really angrily like, "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME??" and he's like "IT'S NEWS TO ME TOO OKAY!!!"

Like they're silly! It's cute !

Sorry for liking Guel Jeturk it will happen every day forever until I die lol

Look at his gay little pose here. Why is he sitting like that. It's making me so mad look at him.

When Godoy tells Prospera that he's located and verified the source of the Lfrith Models, Prospera comments that she's, "...grateful [he] has so many friends."

I've already talked about how sad I am that we never learn anything about Godoy, considering that he seems to have connections all across space. How did he and Prospera meet, I wonder? How did he become so connected? Is he Earthian? I guess it's just one of those things we'll never know.

Anyway, Prospera tells him that "The wait is over," and to "please proceed with the preparations." Lending further credence that Quiet Zero being completed was never an issue. The only remaining issue to correct was the existence of the Lfriths, and now that it's being taken care of, it can truly begin.

I like that Secelia just actually gives Martin good counseling in this scene but is definitely also just fucking with him. She's a good person but also happens to be a bitch. She's perfect !

As the Benerit Gang take the Permet lift down to the station, we hear over an intercom that in accordance with the "Earth Sphere Biological Protection Act," all passengers entering from beyond the Earth Sphere are required to undergo a biosecurity check. (Left) This isn't the first time we overhear biosafety information over an intercom, as in Episode 2 (Right) we hear a brief glimpse about preventive measures being put in place to stop the infectious spread of a disease known as "SV29." (There's also an anecdote in Cradle Planet where Suletta recieves a vaccination)

It seems that biosafety is a major concern in Ad Stella, which makes sense, spaceborn illnesses must be super scary !

Something to note is that in the next scene, we see a panning shot of a highway, with a visible highway exit sign in front. But unlike many of the other signs in the show, the text on the sign is completely illegible, being made up of random shapes and characters from a handful of languages.

This might have been done to ensure Quinharbor's location remains vague, and isn't grounded within any specific place or country on Earth.

As we drive down the highway, we see some protest signs attached to a chain link fence.

From top to bottom, left to right, these seem to say: (* denotes when I'm making an educated guess) - Down with Spacian oppression - Spacians GO BACK TO SPACE - TAKE YOUR WARS BACK TO SPACE* - NO MORE MS VIOLENCE - Benerit ignores Earthian lives - ENOUGH! END MS VIOLENCE NOW!

The one I want to bring special attention to is the one in the center, partially hidden behind the "Down with Spacian oppression" sign. At first I assumed it was, "Stop TAKING our lives for your own wealth," but when i looked closer I saw that the visible portion of that word is "-CKING." When I tried to assume what word it could be, truth be told I could only come up with:

STOP HACKING OUR LIVES FOR YOUR OWN WEALTH or, STOP FUCKING OUR LIVES FOR YOUR OWN WEALTH

You can decide which one you want to be true.

I really like how Guel is just fucking awful at this whole running a company thing. King you can't just bail on an important negotiation like this no wonder ur company is in freefall.

But that's just the kind of person he is. He's open hearted but short sighted, and doesn't think things through as much as he should. But he's trying, so we can appreciate him anyway (Although to be honest it's probably for the best he wasn't there.)

At the table with the Earthain Negotiators, we can see that there are two empty seats next to Miorine. One of them was meant for Guel, and the other was presumably for Kenanji.

Also, seeing as how it keeps being mentioned but isn't explained specifically, I think it's important to clarify what the doctor means when he talks about "The proxy wars you force onto us through war partitioning."

As best as I understand it, Delling and the Benerit Group have been exercising control over Earth (as well as providing a consistent market for their main export, weapon manufacturing) by instigating and arming conflicts across the planet along carefully partitioned political borders.

If Earthians are constantly fighting amongst themselves, they'll be unable to unite as a people against Spacians. (Remember, an impending interplanetary war is currently a major fear)

Remember what Rajan says to Miorine about Dellings motive: "And yet... even if he could control conflict through war partitioning, he never managed to achieve order [...] there was always some new enemy or rebellion."

It's important not to divorce Delling's motives from his beliefs. When Rajan says "he never managed to achieve order," or, "there was always some new enemy or rebellion," you have to ask yourself what "order" or an "enemy" means to a man who wholeheartedly believes that anyone beneath him should fully and unquestioningly submit to his will.

Quiet Zero only makes sense as a solution to a man who is too arrogant to realize that he is the disease which is causing the symptom. But we're not there yet. Let's continue.

When Norea is having her breakdown, she's drawing this picture before her pencil snaps. At a glance, it's easy to assume that she isn't drawing anything and is just scribbling nonsense, but if you look closely, she was drawing a spider being eaten by a venus flytrap (and then started scribbling over it.)

When 5lan looks through her notebook, we see some more. (Left) We see a more abstracted piece of a decaying mechanical clown head (Although it could be a broken down amusement park ride. The DOF lived near an abandoned water park prior to Plant Quetta), a spider with its prey in a web, and a decaying deer carcass.

(Right) And the landscape that 5lan wanted her to show him

Here we see the truth behind Norea's breakdown. Sophie was the only person who understood her, and now that she's dead, she’s all alone. They were supposed to always be together, but the only way for her to follow Sophie now is to die herself, and she's deathly afraid to die.

Sophie and Norea were opposites in how they coped with the disposability of their lives. Norea was afraid to die, and so she coped with it by drawing the death and decay she was constantly surrounded by. But Sophie coped by taking pride in it. She constantly sought out danger to prove to herself that she was alive. (Like in Episode 12 when she activates Permet Score 4: "My heart is hurting so badly...I can't... breathe... but I'm still alive!") In her mind, fighting for her life was what gave it meaning. She wasn't afraid to die, and in a way, she sought out Ericht so badly because she wanted to find someone strong enough to kill her. (Not in a suicidal way but in a putting it all on the line way.)

Norea pretended she was unafraid too, to keep up with Sophie, but she was always afraid. And now that Sophie is gone, she has nobody left. She has nothing to live for, but is too afraid to die. Her life is somehow even more pointless than it already was.

(Left) The moral of the story is that if you're depressed, the solution is some good soup.

(Right) Agh, I wish so badly we got some supplementary material about Chuchu and Nika. But that's a conversation for later.

When we meet up with Kenanji and Guel, they're talking to Sedo, who mentions that he's an "official refugee designated by the special reconstruction plan." His official description on the G Witch website explains a little more, stating that he "lives in a designated recovery plan area on Earth." It seems that there are consistent zones on the planet dedicated to war and infrastructure recovery.

We learn about the child rearing academy Grassley runs here as well, but we'll talk about that next episode, when it's meaning becomes more relevant. Oh, and, nobody asked but the shirt Guel is wearing here is the second shirt we see him wearing that has holes in it. (The first is the sweatshirt he wears in Episode 16.) So y'know. If you wanted to know.

So, here we learn that Shaddiq's birth name was "Jeru Ogul," and "because of that name, everyone at the Academy called him 'Prince.'"

At first I didn't what Kenanji meant by this at all, but after thinking about it and doing some research, I think I understand it now. He's called "Prince" because "Jeru" is short for "Jerusalem." This pun is actually localized from the original Japanese script too, as his name is not "Jeru" in Japanese, It's "Ieru" (イエル) as in, short for "Ierusaremu" (イェルサレム) (Jerusalem is not spoken with a J sound in Japanese because it's based on the original Hebrew pronunciation of the word, which is yerushalaim)

A remarkable child from Jerusalem? It's not a huge leap from that to calling him "Prince." (It's Jesus. It's a reference to Jesus Christ. Now that you know that you should go back and look at his character and the things he does. You'll be like, ooooohhhh, ohhh my goooodddd)

I think a lot about how Miorine immediately keeps cool and analyzes the situation logically, as opposed to Guel's righteous fury. I also like how Miorine knows Shaddiq well enough to immediately clock exactly how to catch him in the act and where he's keeping Sarius. (She's completely correct about all of it too.) She knows him better than anybody, after all.

As the fated moment begins, Eri activates a data storm around Quinharbor to take control of an Earthian tank. (Left) The error message displayed is:

CONTROL LOCKOUT: Control has been overridden due to effects of data storm space. ERROR CODE: [569]

Later, as Prospera retreats to grab Aerial's canon, we can see Miorine attempt to contact her (Which she quickly declines.) (Right)

TEXT: (Left) CODENAME: SOPHIE PULONE MS: LFRITH UR AFFILIATION: Ochs Earth Corporation

MS: LFRITH UR MODEL NO: EDM-GA-01 HEADHEIGHT: 21.2m WEIGHT: 75.9t BASE MS: GUNDAM LFRITH PRE-PRODUCTION MODEL (Ochs Earth Corporation) CHARACTERISTICS: Combat-specific unit intended for short-decisive combats, its output has been greatly increased even among the combat specific types. MAIN WEAPON: BEAM GATLING GUN / PHASED ARRAY CANON

(Right) CODENAME: NOREA DU NOC MS: LFRITH THORN AFFILIATION: Ochs Earth Corporation

MODEL NO: EDM-GA-02 HEADHEIGHT: 14.4m WEIGHT: 41.2t BASE MS: GUNDAM LFRITH PRE-PRODUCTION MODEL (Ochs Earth Corporation) CHARACTERISTICS: Support type unit intended for wide area control. Long arms and legs stabilize the center of gravity enabling advanced combat maneuvers. MAIN WEAPON: BEAM DIFFUSE GUN / PHASED ARRAY CANON

As Prospera breaks into the bunker holding the Lfriths, she pulls up Pilot data files (Tagged SO-3) on Sophie on Norea. Of critical importance here is that according to these files, "Sophie Pulone" and "Norea Du Noc" are referred to as the girls' codenames, not their real names. (Keep this in mind I'm gonna do a really cool thing next episode you're gonna be like ohh noooo) The girls are also affiliated specifically with Ochs Earth, which was supposed to have been defunct immediately after Vanadis.

Less Important but also worth mentioning is that Base Aerial was running "SYS Ver. E.S," a clever nod to Eri's initials, Ericht Samaya, but rebuild has changed that, instead running "SYS Ver. 2.0"

Also, we never get a clear look at it, but the board Bel and Feng were sitting in front of is labeled "ADJUSTMENT OF GUND PROSTHETIC LEG OPERATION." And seems to be data on a subsequent series of tests regarding the legs movement and calibration.

Okay, so, before we proceed, it's probably a good idea to clarify the current political reveals which are being made here. I think there are a lot of names being thrown around and due to the time constraints of the show, I don't think they were able to explain it as well as it could have been.

If you aren't interested, that's okay, you can just scroll past here, but I think it's important to try and understand it. I'll try and keep it as simple as possible: (This is also as best as I understand it, so ultimately take it with a grain of salt)

____________________________

The Space Assembly League is an administrative organization meant to mediate political problems and maintain peace within space. While the Benerit Group is an exceedingly powerful corporation, it's still a corporation, not a governmental institution. It has to, in theory, answer to the rules and regulations set by the League.

The problem is that the Benerit Group has become TOO powerful. Its reach and influence across space has long eclipsed even the League in terms of political power. At some point after Vanadis, the League's High Council (the people at the top of the organization, to be clear) realized this, and began to formulate a plan that would allow it to eventually suppress, and possibly even break up, the Benerit Group.

But the first issue to overcome was this: The Space Assembly League is a governmental institution, and is beholden to its own regulations. Without probable cause, it would be unable to justifiably interfere with the Benerit Group, who, by its own standards, were not openly violating the law.

So, in order to intervene with the Group, the council realized it needed to secretly contrive a reason to accuse the Group of threatening peace among the fronts, thereby giving the League the probable cause it needs to dissolve it.

(It's important to keep in mind that this plan was being conducted SPECIFICALLY by the League's High Council. By and large, the majority of the Space Assembly League DO NOT KNOW this is happening. Feng and Guston are official investigators FOR the league and discovered the conspiracy themselves during their investigation.)

This is where Ochs Earth comes in. The League obviously could not openly begin funding terrorist organizations, but it COULD secretly fund Ochs Earth, a MS Company that was very openly and publicly obliterated, and that everyone still believes to be defunct. An army of Gundams would be perfect to cause enough conflict to accuse the Group.

But here comes the second issue: How exactly do they plan to pull this off? It would be hard to organize and execute a plan of that scale without some kind of middle man. The League couldn't risk openly communicating with anti-Spacian organizations, it would be too risky.

Which is where Shaddiq comes into play. Whether or not he knew the League's intentions beforehand, he contacted them with his own plans to dissolve the group. He was the bridge that connected the League and Ochs Earth with the Dawn of Fold, and being so closely involved with the Group, he could know exactly when would be best to strike.

This eventually led to the Plant Quetta incident. Though the intention was to assassinate Delling, the unjust (and illegal) retribution of the Group upon Earthians after the fact seemed like the perfect cause needed for the League to act.

But that plan didn't work. Remember, the League is a Spacian Organization. And the unfortunate fact of the matter is that Spacians, by and large, do not care about Earthians. The unjust murder and torture of Earthians was not enough to turn public opinion (even within the league itself) far enough for the League to justify intervening.

So they tried again, with the attack on the school. Shaddiq focused on his side of the plan, working on dissolving the group from the inside by taking advantage of the imminent Presidential race, while the Ochs Earth witches stirred up more violence and discord within the Group, focusing on threatening the lives of Spacians instead, which leads us to where we are now.

____________________________

OKAY. damn. that was long. again, this is as best as I understand it, and I might be off the mark in some regards. Either way, I hope this cleared things up for you at least somewhat! Unless you scrolled past which, in that case, 1000 palms of death.

Here we see the GUND-Bit Canon firing at full output. It's the only time we see it do this, and even then we don't REALLY see it unfortunately. Still though, it should be noted that with one blast the cannon destroyed all the Lfriths in the bunker, and was so powerful it blasted THROUGH the bunker AND the mountain it was stationed in. Utterly terrifying.

But the truly tragic thing about this scene is what Prospera has done, and what that truly means. Think about what her actions have interrupted. It's not just that she's completely ruined the negotiations between Miorine and the Earthians. It's specifically how she managed to bridge that gap. With the GUND Prosthetic Legs.

This meeting was the ideals of Cardo Nabo and GUND finally being realized. GUND technology paving a way to a brighter future, finally bringing Earthians and Spacians together on equal ground. This was the future that GUND was going to save. When Prospera destroys the Lfriths, she calls Ochs Earth "The heinous sinners who trampled on GUND's ideals," but in this very moment, she has done the exact same. For the sake of Eri's future, she even struck down the future her family died trying to protect.

After the event, we see various news outlets covering the event.

Left: (From Extra Orbital Reports) BENERIT GROUP MS FIRE ON HOUSING COMPLEXES OF ANTI-SPACIAN GROUPS, WITH MANY CASUALTIES - WITH NO OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM BENERIT GROUP REGARDING ATTACKS, ITS UNCLEAR WHETHER SITUATION WILL BE RESOLVED

Middle: (From Planetary News Broadcast) [...] when Benerit MS responded to street protest by setting up roadblocks - [...] now turning into urban warfare as anti-Spacian side counterattacks with militarized mobile craft

Right: (Fom INTERPLANETARY NEWS NETWORK) IN RESPONSE TO BENERIT GROUP'S ATTACK, EARTH INDEPENDENCE MOVEMENT LEADER DECLARES THEY WILL JOIN FIGHT FOR INDEPENDENCE - With Benerit forces dispersed as explosions take place throughout the city, fierce fighting develops between the two sides.

It seems like communications have fully broken down. The Earthians are more devoted to their demand for independence as ever. Things are even worse than before. The future has never looked worse.

When Suletta sees the news broadcast, she remembers what Ericht said to her about not being able to cling to either her or their mother anymore, but afterwards, we see a silent shot of her saying something else. It's impossible to know exactly what she's saying, (anime lip flap moment)

But personally, considering the context, and the syllables she's sounding out, to me I think she's saying "gomenasai" (I'm sorry)

And with that dour note, it seems like things can't get any worse. But, well, we all know if things can't get worse, they will.

>> Episode 20: The End of Hope The Masterpost.

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

So... Can we talk about Zheng Yi Sao please?

I absolutely adored her and she was so much fun (and love the polycule) but I am absolutely failing to see what her role in the larger narrative was.

She unites the pirates only for everyone to get blown and the pirate republic destroyed in one stroke? Because the woman who conquered China is stupid enough to trust a"gifts" British Navy minor prince whom she is blackmailing?

She is basically Stede's more competent side kick for the rest of the episode?

Another one I'm sure will be a controversial opinion! I'd love to hear what y'all think, don't be afraid to leave a comment below.

Funnily enough, my 2 remaining asks are both wanting to discuss Zheng Yi Sao (and to a lesser extent, Archie) as how both of these characters were meant to impact this story and/or failed to do so! Given that the writers looked at the limited amount of time they had and decided to write BRAND NEW characters instead of further developing the people we already liked.

I will be combining the asks, as the other person was anonymous but they spoke more to how Archie and Zheng didn't add much that was new to the story. If that anon would like me to still post their thoughts, let me know!!

First: Archie

I hate to say it, but for the most part, she feels like the response to the common criticism that S1 didn't have any leading women.

Which, yes. Is absolutely valid. This is where I feel we can sit with Archie. She's fun, and hot, and has the same Violent energy Jim had in S1. But by the time episode 8 rolls around, what is she? We know almost nothing about her, to this day. She was in a snake cult...um. She can fight, and is Jim's arm candy? Beyond that, it feels a bit hollow. Especially as Archie enters a relationship with Jim before we as the audience know Jim and Olu are in an open relationship. Yes. Jim thought Olu was dead, but I didn't really like Jim joking about Archie's tits when bringing up the fact they were dating Archie as well now.

NOW-

Onto Zheng Yi Sao! (and to a lesser extent Auntie)

Zheng had 2 rolls to fill this season, character and narriative. Her character roll was-

1.) To be an Ed mirror. She's a badass with a record, a Navy at her back, and yet we can't make her a badass without giving her the same romantic arc as Edward fucking Teach. Seriously. I was bored watching her scenes as soon as it was obvious Olu liked her. Because I could put the pieces together.

Auntie is Izzy trying to hold the legend together, Oluwande is Stede a stranger to this brand of piracy, and Zheng is Ed 1-1 from S1ep4. Congrats welcome back to Season 1, but this time faster, and with a more interesting side interrupting it every other scene.

Zheng is open to new experiences, letting herself be soft, when it comes to her new boy toy. Cool. We're repeating story beats, which I don't love... But then she gets defeated by Olu distracting her and leaving her behind mirroring Ed in ep 10. Stede and Ed's romance is condensed into 3 ish episodes. When we see her again, her arc isn't focused on her conquering the sea. Not really. It's more on how she really misses Olu. For a badass pirate we enjoy watching, I cared more about her slipping into good graces with the pirates of the Republic than her missing her 'quiet part of the day'.

The story also felt a need to parallel the mentor relationship of Zheng and Auntie, with Ed and Izzy. A thing that for the most part I don't agree with. Zheng respects and mourns Auntie in a way Ed doesn't to Izzy. Rewatch S1, does Izzy EVER change Ed's mind? Or does Ed talk down to him like he's a pesky mosquito in his ear. Ignoring him and trying to show off to Stede.

Zheng's personal arc repeats that of a character we had a lot more time with. I wish they just stuck to the cool strategy shit with her. Ironically she's a strong character because she can fight and because she cares about Olu. Which...ew. Just make her a threat, y'all. That's all you had to do.

BUT I FELL IN LOVE WITH HER IN EPISODE 7/8. OMG.

I went from being all right with her and Olu's story to seeing her as her own person. Someone who is very overwhelmed and competent. I also love her actress, so that always helps. It just sucks that she starts to have her own things going on at the very end of the story. Again, we get the Ed parallel of her throwing herself into a suicide mission after Auntie dies, but it doesn't FEEL like a direct mirror the way the romance obviously was.

She was always going to be a plot device, just like everyone else this season because-

2.) She's the reason Stede goes from being stranded on land back on the Revenge. This is the OVERALL reason she was needed here. I wish they handled this differently. I've seen some say the reason she didn't see Ricky as a threat is because the 'point' of Ricky was that you shouldn't underestimate people. But given how she treated Stede's crew like criminals awaiting trial (besides Olu), I fail to see how she would 'underestimate' the people whose claim she was trying to take over. All the characters of this season exist to push the plot forward, even if it doesn't align with how they should behave.

Given that yes. England had a STRONG foothold in the colony of a colony called 'Carolina' at this time(Florida and Georgia were held by the Spanish until the Spanish-American war), the English Navy specifically could send enough troops to push her out in around 2 months. Or hell. Maybe they'd team up with the Spanish and finally clear out the republic.

Zheng needed all the pirates in the area to match the power of their army, and at this point, she didn't have that yet. So why was she so cocky? (Oh. This show ignores history, right.)

[Fanfic concept of an alternate story for this season where Zheng isn't just another love interest that wasn't properly built up]

Personally, if I knew my budget was slashed, I'd save money by cutting unnecessary sets and using the actors I have VERY wisely. So. REWRITE TIME. In episode 1 Stede struggles to make ends meet. ACTUALLY struggling not comedic struggling. Working all hours of the day, not seeing an end in sight, the crew not wanting to go back and find Ed. Hell, some of the crew threatened to leave and get on new ships. The works. Then suddenly he is given a deal from Auntie. She knows who Stede is, and wants to bargain. He'll get a small ship, in return for his future loyalty, and potentially that of Blackbeard. Hint that this was all from the 'Pirate Queen', and BAM. No need to have the entire plot on Zheng's ship, a plot that dragged compared to that on the Traumatized Revenge, and it gives the audience something to get excited about!!

Who is this pirate queen? What will this 'loyalty' mean for the next few episodes? Etc. Maybe find Lucius early in Ep 1 at the Republic recovering, having recently been left for dead by his nearest pirate ship. This way we have another thing Stede is keeping secret from the crew and Ed, and show how Stede would react in this situation. PLUS! Epic badass Zheng slowly being hinted at taking over the Republic from episodes 6-7 before she's foiled at the end of episode 8? Yes, this gets rid of us DIRECTLY SEEING that she was betrayed by Ricky, but instead of focusing on Zheng, focus on Stede and Ricky's dynamic in ep 1. Make us see how slimy he is. Then in ep 7 show Ricky making a deal on a ship we've never seen. Think Ed in ep 3 S1, dark, smoky, and when he enters the office? ZHENG YI SAO! Badass pirate trying to expand her grasp across the ocean to fuck over the worlds militaries.

THAT is a pirate threat. Not like Jack and his story of a mutiny, or Anne and Mary of however they left the life. Or Ned whose crew was a singly conversation of Mutiny. Pirates are clever bastards who aren't to be fucked with. Zheng is new, and a different way to control the area than we're used to. Then, we the audience can see JUST how fucked over Zheng will be. Zheng goes to land and still wipes up Stede's crew thanks to legend, and maybe a betrayal after finding out about the deal. Ep 7 bar fight, leading into episode 8. Hell, maybe have her and Olu flirt. This way the audience already knows Jim's alright with it AND we get to see more wingman Jim. Which was already a DELIGHT.

My big issue with Both Zheng and Archie's romances is that their Olu and Jim didn't feel like our Olu and Jim. Oluwande S1 was nervous, clever, and good with people. Very protective of Jim, I always got the opinion that if shit ever started to look bad, he'd do everything he could for him and Jim to flee. Jim was a hard egg to crack, but sarcastic and closed off even when you got to know them. Which they RARELY did.

In S2, Jim and Olu almost feel like the same goofy characters. The twist is that they still love each other and love someone else. Which is cool, just an odd choice. Given that their reunion felt...dull. But it's obvious the writers will only develop a character if they are in a romance. (Lucius and Pete? Let's talk about trauma and recovery. Olu and Zheng? Let's discuss kindness and softness? Jim and Archie? Loyalty and compassion built by blood.) That's all they had time for, and honestly, I'd rather deepen what we know about characters like Frenchie and Wee John than see another shallow romance. Lucius and Pete worked better because, AGAIN, they were ALREADY ESTABLISHED.

Much like how the rest of this season is too fond of callbacks, Zheng's entire character can be summarized by 'diet Ed' and I hope the fandom sees her harsh, willing-to-do-anything to get the job done, attitude and expands on THAT versus a carbon copy of the main show's romance. Her roll was to get closure with Auntie in a way that Ed couldn't with Izzy. Which...yikes.

tldr: good characters, but were sadly thrown away without much development.

[scoobydoodean]

SAM Seriously? Atlantic City? DEAN Hell yeah! Play some roulette. Always bet on black. (pause) Hey listen, I've been doing some thinking. Um ... I want you to know I understand why you did it. I understand why you went after the crossroads demon. SAM sighs. DEAN You know, situation was reversed, I guess I'd've done the same thing. (pause) I mean I'm not blind, I see what you're going through with this whole deal, me going away and all that. But you're gonna be okay. SAM (looks up at that, exhales, says tonelessly) You think so. DEAN Yeah, you'll keep hunting, y'know, you live your life. You’re stronger than me. You are! (SAM clears his throat) you are... you'll get over it. But I want you to know I'm sorry, I’m sorry for... putting you through all this, I am. SAM You know what, Dean? Go screw yourself. DEAN What? SAM I don't want an apology from you! And by the way, I'm a big boy now, I can take care of myself. DEAN Oh, well, excuse me. SAM (voice raising) So would you please quit worrying about me? I mean that's the whole problem in the first place. I don't want you to worry about me, Dean, I want you to worry about you! I want you to give a crap that you’re dying! (DEAN says nothing but smirks) So, that's it? Nothing else to say for you? DEAN I think maybe I'll play craps. SAM stares at him, outraged. Shakes his head. Sighs in exasperation. DEAN's smile fades. They drive on.

See, one will see this in 3.06 and will want to smack Dean upside of the head! Because he is refusing—absolutely refusing—to face the consequences of the deal he's made—the consequences for himself, and the consequences for someone he loves! His words about seeing what he's doing to Sam here are distant and empty when you see the expression on his face within the episode—the disturbing slight smile and the way he just pretends "This is fine". Dean understands that Sam is having an emotional response and he could write down why for a class exercise, but he is refusing to let himself feel it because then all of this would all become real and he would also have to feel scared for himself.

The thing is, smacking Dean upside of the head would not work, and does not work! Dean already hates himself—if Sam is angry at him, or Bobby is angry at him, or he gets called selfish or screwed in the head or told that he's hurting people... well—Dean doesn't like himself either because he failed Sam and John and he's not supposed to be here and he's a curse that gets people killed, so... so what? Big deal! They are telling Dean things Dean already believes. Yelling and accusing may actually exacerbate Dean's belief that he deserves this—that he should not be here.

You know what does work? In 3.07, when Dean plans to run off alone to save the girl Gordon's kidnapped because he thinks "I don't matter anyway and I'm dying anyway", and Sam gets through to Dean just as soon as he uses two things: 1) Compassion and 2) Care.

DEAN What do you want me to do, Sam, huh? Sit around all day writing sad poems about how I'm gonna die? You know what? I got one. Let's see, what rhymes with "shut up, Sam"? SAM Dude, drop the attitude, Dean. Quit turning everything into a punch line. And you know something else? Stop trying to act like you're not afraid. DEAN I'm not! SAM You're lying. And you may as well drop it 'cause I can see right through you. DEAN You got no idea what you're talking about. SAM Yeah, I do. You're scared, Dean. You're scared because your year is running out, and you're still going to Hell, and you're freaked. DEAN And how do you know that? SAM Because I know you! DEAN Really?

(That "really" is something—there's a whole other world of things that could be discussed there)

SAM Yeah, I've been following you around my entire life! I mean, I've been looking up to you since I was four, Dean. Studying you, trying to be just like my big brother. So yeah, I know you. Better than anyone else in the entire world. And this is exactly how you act when you're terrified. And, I mean, I can't blame you. It's just... (pause) DEAN What? SAM I wish you would drop the show and be my brother again. 'Cause... (can't find words; tears in his eyes) just 'cause. DEAN (after a pause) All right, we'll hole up, cover our scent so he can't track us, and wait the night out here.

This is the first time we see Dean actually swayed since the very end of 2.22—and it's because

Sam shows compassion for Dean's state of mind and the actions that have come out of it. He says that he understands that Dean's play at apathy is just that—a play at apathy. Dean isn't acting this way because he's just some jerk who doesn't care about how his actions effect others. Dean is someone who cares, who is acting like he doesn't care because he is scared. Dean is sniping at Sam intentionally to make him angry, so Sam will get mad at him, so they don't have to talk and Dean can be reminded that he makes people mad and he deserves this. Dean isn't some jerk who should be gone because he hurts the people that care about him. Dean is someone who is hurting and scared and Sam understands.

Sam makes it extremely real to Dean how much Sam CARES ABOUT HIM by saying he wants him there "just 'cause". Dean is inherently valuable! Dean matters! And there doesn't have to be a reason, or a need that Dean fills. "Older" or "Big" is omitted before "brother" here, because it isn't about Sam needing Dean to take care of him—just like he said it wasn't in 3.06! It's about Dean being there at all!

[enbyjane]

why i see cho being aro as pretty much canon

Before I show some of the strongest scenes which read to me as Cho being aromantic (i.e. not experiencing romantic attraction), I want to say that there are many small scenes even from the beginning. In season 1, when he talks to the waitress, and she talks about doing crazy things for love, he seriously recommends her therapy, which she takes as a joke (and he goes along with it). I think he's genuinely confused as to why anybody would do crazy things for people they're romantically attracted to, I don't think he can relate to the concept.

He doesn't relate to people wanting to be in a relationship.

The following scenes further prove my point:

(under read more so i don't get a kilometric post on your dashes)

evidence no. 1 - S5E22

evidence no. 2 - S6E3

These scenes show to me that for him, the only reason you would be with someone is for the sex, and the only reason Wayne would want to marry Grace is because he knocked her up. I haven't included it here, but he presumes from the start that Rigsby doesn't want to get married, when he's mostly confused about his own feelings.

But I think the final example might show it the best:

evidence no. 3 - S6E5

I left the last screenshots of the scenes bigger so that we all could appreciate Cho's facial expressions. The man is in literal pain just hearing about his best friend's relationship. (the best face of I literally could not care less, please stop talking about it). And this is not a general sentiment per se. In the previous episode (S6E4), Rigsby is concerned about his sexual life because he and Grace didn't get to have sex since the marriage. While Cho may not be 100% comfortable, he is still more comfortable with that conversation than this one. He's engaging and he offers whatever information he knows ("What about your wedding night? I bought you a carriage?" and "I read on the internet that women lose their interest in sex after marriage"). Whereas in this conversation he doesn't engage at all, he doesn't care at all, he wants OUT of it. He's glad for Rigsby but he doesn't want to hear details about his relationship.

Therefore, while I don't think they consciously made Cho and aro that fucks, from my point of view, they made Cho and aro that fucks and doesn't care about relationships one iota.

Then what about Summer?

Summer is one of his most serious relationships from the show, apart from the relationships he has with his own teammates. Unfortunately, we don't have enough insight into his brain (or a lot of things from his perspective) in order to say how that relationship was with 100% accuracy.

But the way I see it, he genuinely cared for her a lot, and was sexually attracted to her, but he wasn't romantically attracted to her and I don't think he would've cared for that. I think their relationship could've worked if they'd been friends with benefits (and that would've been interesting to see!), but not if Summer would've wanted to marry him or something.

Even in the scene when they meet up later and she's getting ready to marry, I read him as being mostly nostalgic and still fond of her, not really jealous or wanting to have been the one marrying her. His final smile even seems to translate into something like "I don't get it, but you seem happy, so I'm happy for you."

In conclusion: Cho is an aro king babey!!!

Final Important Note: You can disagree with me, of course, to say that you don't think I'm right about Cho, but any arophobia, any bs that it doesn't exist or whatever someone might think to say that demeans aromantic people will be blocked without discussion. Aro people, y'all are valid and I love you (platonically). Happy Pride!!!

[madpunks]

i need medical professionals to understand that medical negligence kills.

i am in involved with my medical care- i have to attend therapy, see a psychatric medication manager, a primary care doctor, physical therapists, and a gender affirming care specialist. i am seen by a lot of doctors and have been in a lot of different medical settings. lately i have hit a rough patch where i cannot seem to have my situation taken seriously

my blood pressure has been so high, for months now, that i was within stroke and cardiac event territory several times. my doctors ping-ponged me between one another- i was prescribed blood pressure meds when i stayed in the psych ward in july. then my psych nurse refilled them, but told me my primary care doctor must be the one to refill them, because she doesn't know anything about bp meds. i asked my pcp, she told me "have your other doctor fill them out, then, since you had them filled over there before."

it took me months to get my life saving medications back. i cried in front of a receptionist at a later appointment where i was told the provider could not see me for our scheduled appointment time that day because "i hadn't filled out the paperwork". they never sent or told me about paperwork. they took my blood pressure after i explained my frustration and booked me for an emergency appointment with a pcp the next business day. but it took until i cried and my blood pressure was dangerously high from stress for someone to care.

i finally have it, now, but i am also fighting for my psychiatric medications as well. the psychiatric meds manager i mentioned above went on maternity leave and someone filled in for her. this doctor didn't know me. he asked me many questions, but never waited for my answers. he spoke over me, told me some of my diagnoses were wrong/misdiagnosed me, and took me off of several of my vital medications. he stopped my bipolar mood stabilizer because he said it didn't help with bipolar mania- he never asked if i was needing help with mania, depression, or mixed episodes. he just assumed.

he also stopped my seroquel- i am a schizoaffective person- because he didn't like the dose i was at, but because i am fat, he said i needed to be on the antipsychotic that was the least likely to put weight on me. he put me back on risperidone. i had been on it in the past. it caused me severe depression. he didn't ask what it did to me. he just put me back on it without question. i haven't touched those damn pills since i got them from the pharmacy. i am already severely depressed as is, i can't even fathom.

while i was discussing a personal event that happened in my life that affected me, my therapist earlier today asked me "why are you letting something so insignificant have power over you? why would something like that make you suicidal? why are you letting this person have power over you" i had finally lost my patience with her, and i snapped, and told her why i was justified in feeling so unwell. i gave her the context of my situation, and didn't back down. i'm firing her next session. later on, my case worker informed me that's victim blaming, and that it was not okay for her to minimize my issues or make me feel like i in some way made my feelings happen of my own free will. i felt so incensed i had to do something about it.

i can't really sleep at night right now. i can't focus, my energy levels are all over and my depression is ruling my life. im struggling with invasive thoughts and horrible painful suicidal lows. i need people to understand that this type of medical negligence can kill. any of this could've killed me at any point. this is not acceptable. this is what american mentally ill people in care deal with. please understand that this is not how anyone should have to live.

[ask-villegas-sides]

"Operation 'Get Riley to Sleep' = Complete Failure 😤"

Beckett: Okay, seriously, we’ve tried EVERYTHING. Gentle reminders, bedtime routines, relaxation exercises... nothing works! Riley just won’t go to sleep on time, and I am spiraling over this.

Lev: Honestly, we’re all worried. Sleep is super important, and you deserve rest, Riley! But somehow every night turns into, “Just one more episode” or “Let me finish this level.” 😩

Flint: This level of sleep deprivation is not sustainable. Sleep hygiene is essential, yet here we are—past midnight AGAIN, with you scrolling on your phone. We’ve discussed strategies. We’ve created schedules. None of it sticks.

Reese: And like, I totally get it—who wants to sleep when there are stories to write, shows to watch, and random ideas popping up at 2 AM? But still... even I think we need to chill at some point, dude. Your brain can’t art if it’s sleep-deprived.

Beckett: Exactly! And I mean—what if something bad happens because we’re too exhausted to deal with it? Like, what if we miss an appointment or forget something important? Like today, when Riley forgot to take Laddie out this morning to relieve himself and the dog sprinted to the door so fast he almost crashed? Yeah- not good.

Pride: Pfft. Honestly? At this point, it feels like Riley is deliberately testing how long they can function without proper rest. “Will it be catastrophic today? Let’s find out.” 🙄 We can’t function at our best if you keep burning out like this, Riley. You’ve got things to achieve, goals to crush, dreams to chase. But that all requires energy—and that means SLEEP. Rest isn’t weakness. It’s strategy.

Beckett: Exactly! I mean, what’s the point of trying to stay ahead of every possible danger if we’re all exhausted while doing it? 😵

Lev: We care about you, Riley. We want you to feel good, and that starts with rest. So PLEASE—tonight, let’s try getting to bed on time? For us? For Laddie? 🥺

Reese: Ooh, I’ve got it! If you go to bed by 11, I’ll draw you a custom doodle of whatever dream you have. Deal? Deal.

Flint: We’ve optimized every other part of the schedule. This is the last hurdle. Please cooperate.

Pride: Or not. At this point, what’s one more late night in the grand scheme of bad decisions?

Beckett: Why not send us some asks to keep us busy? We’ll still be here at 3 AM... if that’s how this goes. Just saying. …OH MY GOD, PLEASE JUST GO TO SLEEP!

[hay1ock]

Episode 4 of Only Friends

Well, that was quite the episode. I’m going to be discussing stuff that happened, so if you’re aware of anything in the episode that upsets you please bear that in mind. I don’t intend to be all in your face about it but people have different limits. I myself was fine with the episode on first watch, but the second time it really hit me how there are certain things about Ray I relate to and I had a bad time for a little while. But *deep breath* it’s all good now and I’m ready to ramble. Also, I feel like my thoughts are going to be bouncing all over the place with all the various moving parts and stuff that happened this episode.

So, might as well get straight to it, the big one, Ray (+ Mew + Sand). Ray, the human version of the Poor Boy t-shirt. His whole breakdown in the bathtub about being unloved, unwanted, how he ruined his mom’s life, man Khaotung delivered. I’m guessing it might be a case of his mom getting pregnant was unplanned/inconvenient - like his mom had to give up her career, or maybe having him trapped her with a man she didn’t love or in a bad relationship, which in turn led to her drinking and ignoring him, and ultimately to her death. Based on the younger version of Ray, he was what? Mid teens maybe. He said high school so maybe 14-16 range. Was his mom like that since his birth or did it start later, she slowly began resenting him?

I’m glad Mew had enough about him to go round and check on Ray. (I know his friends get some crap - Boston rightly so - about not caring about him, but there is only so much they can do if Ray isn’t ready, as he needs to be willing to help himself) Ray’s little face and his voice when he saw Mew had come though… “You’re here?” Surprise/relief that he’d put his faith in the right person. Mew really had answered his cry for help. Ray deserves a big hug. It’s not hard to see why he cares about Mew, why he answered his phone, why he would support Mew’s relationship with Top even though he dislikes Top, and yes, I’m sure jealousy is part of it, but there is genuine concern about the kind of person Top is, and if he’s good enough. But yeah, whether it’s romantic love or something else, I’m not sure. I imagine it’s a bit of a mix. He sees Mew as having saved him so there’s probably a bit of seeing him as his hero, the only person who, up to that point (or that we know of), had shown any affection or concern for him and it might be those feelings warped into a romantic love, or maybe it’s just the desperate need to keep Mew close, keep that one ‘good’ relationship and person at his side and he has mistaken his feelings for love beyond that of friendship. Ray is a whole bag of emotions and trauma, and untangling those for him to explore his feelings about both his past and what’s happening now will be hard and most likely hurt him and people around him (and me!).

I’m glad we got to see what happened regarding the video and the kiss and well, to say I’m disappointed in Boston and Top is an understatement - will talk more about them later. Also, I know Boston is a bad friend, but seriously, knowing everything about Ray and still messing with his head last episode and even calling Ray a burden back in episode 1, Boston you are the absolute worst lol.

But anyway, the kiss, the one in the past. I’m sad Mew couldn’t return Ray’s feelings and it must have been hard to hear that he was perhaps the only thing that was keeping Ray from hurting himself. 2 years ago, so he’s 19/20 yrs old, being told that must have been rough and a lot of responsibility, and then the fear of what Ray might do if Mew rejected him. That change in music seems like a reflection of Mew’s anxiety of the situation. I do like Mew and that from what we’ve seen he is pretty straightforward and honest. He kissed Ray back, but as he’s said, up until Top, no one had been able to make his heart tremble. I wonder how things might have changed if he had felt something. Would Ray have been able to get a handle on his drinking? Despite 2 years passing, he’s still in the same place, maybe worse where his drinking is concerned. Could he have changed? Or would he just have made them both miserable? Guess we might end up finding out as him and Sand get closer.

Skipping back to the present and ahhhh Ray nooooo. I don’t agree with him kissing Mew and am glad he was called out for his behaviour, but I do feel like I understand why he did it, or at least see why he might have. First, we had Boston messing with him, bringing his feelings of ‘love’ back to the surface and also adding fuel to his worries about Top - don’t be a side character, do something before it’s too late, ie save Mew from Top. We also have Mew, he’s told Ray he phoned Top for help first and he’s also trying to push Ray’s feelings towards Sand (I believe Mew was doing so with good intentions, wanting to see Ray happy and have someone now Top has taken a chunk of his time), but I feel like Ray pushed back against that. I believe he has been feeling something for Sand, even if just out of curiosity, but in a way that’s a betrayal to his feelings for Mew, the person he literally owes his life to. I imagine he’s confused and desperate to reaffirm that Mew is the one he loves. Mew is telling him to be with someone who loves and takes care of him and for Ray that person is Mew. So, I get it, but don’t agree with it. Glad he apologised again at the end and I’m glad Mew was able to accept the apology. I feel like he backed down from pressing Ray further about the ‘why’ behind the kiss, maybe not wanting to distress Ray who looked to struggle when Mew asked. I hope they can maintain their friendship. I know Ray can’t change how he feels about Mew overnight. Whether Mew fully knew about Ray still liking him, I’m not sure, but either way, it’s all out there now, so hopefully, Ray can move forward.

And talking of where he should be heading in his attempt to move on, him and Sand. I don’t know if it’s because it’s First and Khaotung, or just the way they are portraying the characters, but they have the most ‘romantic’ chemistry at the moment for me (Nick and Boston has so far been more primal, sexual, and then Mew and Top… I don’t even know what theirs is, it’s mostly anxiety inducing is what. I don’t know how to explain it but it’s like my stomach drops and both characters give off vibes of wanting control).

I love seeing Ray and Sand together. I love Ray’s puppy eyes. I love that Sand can’t say no to Ray’s puppy eyes. Sand seems a pretty strong-willed guy so if he really didn’t want to do something I’m sure he would say so. He had no problems communicating to Ray about how he felt at the music store and I’m glad he didn’t actually scold Ray and call him any names. There was just this strange sadness when Ray said ‘Burden on Society’. I don’t know if Sand sensed anything, but I think him discussing his boundaries, like with Ray wanting to buy him things, and that he isn’t something Ray can pick up to play with when he’s lonely to then forget about until the next time, I think Ray needs that. Other than money, we still don’t don’t know what kind of relationship he has with his father, or if he had any positive role models/relationships growing up that would help him learn about things such as boundaries and making real connections with other people, not just by throwing money around. I do believe Ray cares about Sand’s feelings, not necessarily because he sees him as special or for romantic reasons, but Sand is a person in his life now and it feels like Ray doesn’t intend to upset people on purpose, he wants to be cared for but also wants to be able to care for others, even as far as to ‘save’ them. I like that Ray is able to realise when he’s in the wrong and apologise, he did it in episode 1, and a couple of times in this episode. People make mistakes, not everyone can admit to them and apologise.

The record store scenes were lovely. The conversation about music. The suggestion that Ray is stuck in the past with his mother’s music and his trauma, and with his feelings for Mew. That discovering new bands brings Sand happiness and the implication that Ray should do the same, step outside that damn room that he’s surrounded himself with his mom’s records and find something new to explore. To find himself a little bit of happiness. I loved the small smile from Ray as he seemed to be considering Sand’s words. Chronologically, we then have them listening to music and staring and hand touching. The way Sand looks at Ray *dreamy sigh*. It was nice to see Ray in a moment of peace, at least that’s what it felt like. A moment to just pause the world and as Sand said “let music do the work.” And so, after going to Mew’s to apologise, we’re then back in a bath tub, bookending the episode nicely. That flashback though, yet again, can not blame Ray for clinging onto Mew and what feelings he had for him. Ray of sunshine *cries* I interpret the end as him making peace with his feelings, or at the very least, realising that no matter what, nothing more can ever come from them and so it’s time to move on, even if he just takes a tiny step in the direction of the owner of the Poor Boy t-shirt. I really hope that no matter what heartbreak lies ahead, these two find a way to a happy ending together, even if it’s Ray goes to rehab, gets some therapy and we skip ahead however many months, and they meet up again afterwards. So a fresh start and we’re left hopeful they’ll work things out.

Okay, that first part might have been way too long, but I’m bias towards Ray and so… that’s how I roll lol. The next bits might be shorter, or they might not lol. Next the Boston and Nick and Top (+ Sand) mess.

Boston, you are the worst. I mean, I kind of get filming your friends in a ‘haha look at these idiots, I’m so teasing them tomorrow’ kind of way, but still, dick move. And you know what another dick move is? Screwing with your friend’s kinda boyfriend (still confused on how long it’s been - under 3 months based on what Boston said last ep - and what Top and Mew consider themselves to be, as Top kept referring to Mew as his boyfriend last ep and this one and Mew complained about Top not introducing him as his boyfriend to Beam at the silent disco), and then for his ultimate dick move, we have Boston forcing himself on Top. I’m glad Top actively pushed Boston off him this time and told him a few home truths. I said before it feels more about Boston’s pride and some weird one-sided rivalry/jealousy. Like even in the flashback, he seemed to be competing with Ray, but also dragging Mew into the conversation with Cheum. Like ‘I can’t beat Ray, but what about Mew? I’m sexier and a better option than him right?’. Honestly, I feel like, if gmmtv would let us have nice things and let Neo and Khao out of the friends zone for a minute, Boston would be that guy to comfort Ray and maybe makeout/sleep with him just to show he was that little bit better than Mew - ‘at least I fucked ya’. He seems to have no remorse over anything at the moment. Whether he grows as a person or is a dick until the end, I guess we’ll have to wait and see. We got a nice bit of info about his dad if anyone was looking to really mess things up for him. Not looking at anyone in particular… Nick.

So, Nick. Boston really should have changed his passcode after Nick fixed his phone lol. He is walking a dangerous line of obsession and I’m not sure exactly where he’ll fall by the end. He was like a smitten kitten in the first couple of episodes, and he looked at Boston with hope and adoration, but there was a significant difference in how Boston’s words worked (or rather didn’t seem to) this episode when they were together. It currently stands as him wanting to get Boston, for them to be in love, but, depending where both his and Boston’s games take them, I feel like it might just come down to him wanting to ruin Boston in the end. You don’t love me? Well sucks to be you. I am here for Nasty Nick and his obsessive listening to Top and Boston moaning (poor Sand though - he did not need to hear that lol) And then he brings Top into it, and in turn Sand (and we find out Top stole Sand’s ex - gonna assume that person will pop up at some point). Well, everybody will know about Top and Boston but Mew at this point. I have this horrible feeling when stuff comes out Ray will find out Sand already knew and that might be one of many reasons they have problems.

So Top and Mew. Their relationship is the strangest to me. It might be because as the audience we know more of what Top’s been doing behind Mew’s back, see more of his smug smirky face that I want to punch occasionally, whereas we don’t know that much about Mew as an individual, but I don’t know… *stares at them*. I know Top got Mew’s heart all a flutter but sometimes, I’m left questioning what Mew sees in Top and does he actually like him? They can have some ridiculously cute moments, the disco, the Photo Booth, in the shower. Then they have some really off feeling and tense, challenging each other moments, Top coming off as possessive and pulling him away from his friends, the reset scene at laser tag, the scenes at the end of this episode. I like that Mew isn’t a pushover but getting with Top seems exhausting to me.

Another thing I like is that Mew doesn’t judge Top based on his past or who he’s slept with. Like I said Mew seems to be honest and straightforward and he wants Top to be the same with him. And I’m very much a judge you by what you do now not your past kind of person myself (obviously there are some exceptions to that). The plane in Top’s room got me curious. Is there a Boeing? I assume so as even before he told Mew and the only B I could think of at the time was Boston, I was like, surely not. Boston doesn’t seem in the least bit sentimental and not sure what a plane has to do with anything, but I did have second thoughts as the camera lingered and shifted focus from the plane to the model car that looks very much like Boston’s behind it. It might mean nothing, or maybe ‘Boeing’ will show up, the shot is framing two issues that can come between Top and Mew in the future - Boston and this Boeing person.

Top keeps pulling me in and has me thinking, okay maybe he is trying to be a better person, he just keeps fucking up, you know, like people do, and then just as quickly, I’m screaming trash at him. Where as Boston falls on the love to hate him side of villainy, Top keeps sticking his head over the line into just hate him territory. We’ll have to see where things go. I did think he’d called Beam over for sex at first, but not seeing the scene play out I wondered if it was something else - like just hang out, drink and sleep, as Top was clearly feeling guilty thinking back to moments with Mew and Boston, so I thought he might have trouble sleeping. As it was it was drugs. One way to knock yourself out I guess… whether it’s always just been drugs with Beam, looking back at the conversation at the silent disco, who knows, and I would have given him the benefit of the doubt, as I do want to believe he wants to change, but he’d already got arsey over Ray, Mew’s friend, being there and apparently not happy that he got his knickers in a twist over a kiss from 2 years ago, so was doubting Mew when he said it stopped at the kiss, and THEN initiated some weird deal for him stopping drugs. Again, we know more stuff than Mew, but with that music choice too, it felt all kinds of sleazy to me. If I was Mew I would not have been in the mood for sexy shenanigans, but hey, you do you, and hand jobs don’t have to be that deep. Fucking loved it when Mew said no penetration, take it or leave it lol.

OKAY. I think I’m done. There were probably other things I wanted to comment on, but the rambling was strong with this one lol. Looking forward to Episode 5.