#(Not So) Hated by Life Itself is a different can of worms

[drkineildwicks]

More BH6

To be fair when I started this I was thinking of (Not So) Hated by Life Itself but it fits the dynamic of Obake Itoko too--Obake tolerates Hiro and Aunt Cass holding his hand and dragging him around but anyone else will get a testy reminder XD

Also this is legit titled "rare chibi from me" because I don't really vibe with chibi styles but this was such a simple idea I didn't want to bother myself with proportions and such. And in posting it I realize that it kinda looks like he's revisiting the star machine but honestly Obake just spaced while letting Hiro talk about stuff he likes. ^^

Okay now back to writing....As always please be kind and reblog, not repost, thank you!

BH6 © 2014 Disney

Done in Adobe Photoshop

[kkami-writes]

waiting for us — chapter fifty four. waiting for us wc. 2k a/n. name drop!!!! ok but that being said this is a VERY heavy chapter dealing with very sensitive topics. please read through the tw and be safe. tl;dr at the end. TW!!! negligent parents, brief mention of abortion, brief mention of religion, verbal abuse, domestic abuse, violent acts, mentions of self-harm and attempted suicide also i'm not entirely sure how I should tag this, but there is a part where yn has her clothes ripped off of her without consent, but it is not in a sexual way (?) or for the purpose of doing something sexual.

You stand just outside the door of 3RACHA’s (and hyunjin’s) apartment, and your quite certain that your heart is going to pound itself straight through your chest. Perhaps there is a brief moment where you consider just running for it but you think better of it. A half empty duffel bag sits on your shoulder and there’s a ratty backpack that hangs loosely off of you. Maybe you’d find it sad that your whole life could fit into two measly bags, but you couldn’t deny that it was just easier this way. You had left nothing behind, wiping your entire existence out of that place and you would not look back.

When you finally gather the courage to knock on the door, your knuckles barely make a sound while they rap against the wood. Yet the moment your hand makes contact with the door, it’s swinging open and Felix throws himself into your embrace. You almost lose your balance but Felix makes sure you don’t fall backwards, clinging almost painfully to you.

He pulls back to ask if you’re okay since you were later than you said you’d be, but the words die on his tongue at the sight of you. There’s nothing different from you besides the bright red mark decorating your cheek.

“YN? What happened? Who hurt you?” He questions, voice going almost impossibly deeper. The thought of someone putting their hands on you fills him with anger. You actually almost don’t know what he’s talking about before remembering the parting gift your mother had given you before you left.

“Oh. This. Don’t worry about it,” You mumble, acting rather nonchalant as you attempt to get past Felix and into the apartment but he doesn’t let you get too far, grasping gently at your wrist to pull you back.

“No seriously. Who hurt you yn? What’s up with the bags?” He fires out questions, now just realizing the two bags you had with you.

“I was hoping I could stay the night. Or a few. Or forever,”

The silence between you is deafening.

“Yn” You hate (love) the way you shudder at the way he says your name in that deep tone of his.

“I might have, um, run away from home?”

“WHAT?” He yells at that effectively alerting the rest of the boys of your presence.

“Lix? Is that YN? What’s going on?” Chan’s voice filters through the apartment, getting louder the closer he gets. You finally move past Felix, leaving your bags by the door for now.

“Lixie, I’ll explain everything ok? I don’t want to have to keep repeating myself over and over again,” You beg the boy with an almost desperate lilt to your voice, giving him big puppy eyes for added ammo just in case. He sighs and let’s it go for now, letting you drag him towards the couches.

But of course, even if Felix had dropped it, the other’s wouldn’t; immediately demanding to know who hit you as soon as they see your red cheeks. As much as you appreciate their concern, the swirl of emotions you’ve been feeling for hours already has you on edge and you’re so close to snapping.

“GUYS” You raise your voice and the effect is immediate, all of them quieting down and staring back at you. “It’s ok, I promise. I barely feel it. It was the first time my mom hit me anyway,” At that they all start asking questions again, talking over each other but one glare from you shuts them up again. “Please. I’m here to explain okay? So please, let me tell you everything before you guys start asking a million questions,” You plead, tired and scared of the can of worms you were potentially about to open. But you also know how much you need this. You just couldn’t keep it in anymore.

The boys all gather onto the couch and the seats next to it, with you sat in the middle next to Felix and Jisung, one on either side of you. Both of them are close enough that you can feel their thighs pressed to yours. It helps to keep you grounded while you try to take a deep breath but it just comes out shaky. Jisung slides his hand into yours, giving it a squeeze before giving you a reassuring nod.

“I was an accident. My mom somehow managed to get pregnant even though my dad had a vasectomy after they had my brother. Despite not wanting another child, they decided to have me anyway for whatever reason. We’re not religious or anything so she could have just gotten an abortion. I’ll never know why they decided to have me.

Growing up the abuse was mostly verbal. An insult here or there, mostly reminding me I wasn’t wanted or needed. My brother of course was the worst with his words but overall it really wasn’t that bad. For the most part they ignored my existence, which was honestly fine with me. It….only got worse after I turned 16. When I got my soulmark,” Your hands are shaking in Jisung’s firm grip while Felix scoots closer for comfort, nuzzling his cheek against your shoulder. You are so thankful for them.

“Both of my parents are blanks and so is my brother. So it was only natural that I assumed that I would be a blank as well. So imagine my surprise when it turns out I have 8 soulmates,” You let out a small snort, head shaking softly.

“I’m know you’re all probably thinking that I freaked out or panicked about having so many soulmates with how I reacted when we met, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth,” You make brief eye contact with Jeongin who has a confused expression on his fox-like face.

“For the first time, hope bloomed in my chest. My original plan was to leave when I turned 18, as soon as I could, but I didn’t really know what I would do. I would be all alone, no soulmate and experiencing the real world for the first time. But now, I finally felt like I had a purpose. To find my soulmates. I couldn’t believe that I would have 8 soulmates. 8 people who would love me. Who would want me” your voice cracks at those last words, tears burning in your eyes. Hyunjin looks like he’s not too far behind with his own tears threatening to fall.

“Of course I had lied to my parents about my soulmark, just saying I was a blank. It was easy since they didn’t really care but I had the suspicion that my brother didn’t believe me. I used to stand in front of my mirror staring at my soulmark, tracing over your names, dreaming about what life would be like with you guys,” Felix clings a little harder to you. “It was my only solace in that prison, that one day I would be where I belonged,”

“One day my brother…he caught me looking at my mark. He-“ Your eyes close in pain as the tears run down your cheeks. You squeeze at Jisung’s hands who haven’t lefts yours yet as you take in a deep breath. “He dragged me to the living room by my hair, yelling at my parents that I was a lying whore. That I was some kind of greedy slut for having so many soulmates. He pushed me to the ground and…he- he,” You choke on your tears before you feel someone patting your cheeks dry with tissues. You look up to see Minho, his eyes soft and sad as he continues to dry the tears leaking from your eyes. The other boys that were not on the couch have abandoned their seats in favor of being closer to you. Seungmin is on the floor, stroking at your calves soothingly, while Hyunjin does the same on your other side.

“He ripped my skirt off and…he….he took a lighter and….and-“ You can’t even finish the sentence before you throw yourself in Seungmin’s embrace, sobbing into his shoulder as he holds you. The rest of the boys try to comfort you as you feel hands along your back and hair, soft soothing words being said into your ears. It takes you a few minutes to pull yourself together.

“’M sorry-“ You say with a sniffle, letting Minho clean your face as he insists on doing it himself.

“Don’t say sorry. You’ve had horrific things done to you. You are so strong,” Changbin says in a soft voice, contrasting his normally loud demeanor. His hands smooth your hair down.

You can hear the sniffles from Felix and Jisung who have starting sobbing silently, their hearts breaking for you. You let out a sigh because you’re not even done.

“After that…the abuse…got worse. It turned physical as my brother would take his anger out on me. My parents didn’t care about what he did to me. I slowly…became a shell of myself. I started turning to self harm because everything hurt so much that I needed something else to hurt so I didn’t have to think about anything else. Even though he didn’t sever our soulmark, I felt like I had let you down- that I let someone else disfigure our beautiful connection. I though about my soulmates who would probably never want someone as broken as I was. I felt so lost. So….on graduation night I-“ You tuck your head down in shame. “I swallowed a bunch of sleeping pills,”

Everyone is deadly silent but you can hear Hyunjin and Jeongin joining in on the crying. Seungmin just holds you a little tighter.

“I had texted Minghao before I went through with it. Telling him that I was so grateful for his friendship and that him and Jun were the best friends I could ever ask for. Of course that man has some freaky 8th sense or something because I don’t think it took him more than five minutes to get to my house even though he lives twenty minutes away. He was yelling at me when he barged into my bathroom but I don’t remember much after that. I passed out and woke up in the hospital. Now that I was conscious Minghao throughly chewed my ass out though. The nurses had wanted to hospitalize me actually for mental health reasons but my parents refused and said something about how it was just an accident,”

“We thought you died,” Jeongin pipes up, his eyes red rimmed with tears as he sniffles.

“Your mark went gray and we all felt this sharp pain in our chests. That night we had mourned the loss of a soulmate that we thought we’d never get to meet. The relief we felt when your mark went back to black was unmatched. We had assumed you must have had an accident or something to have triggered the mark to react,”

The rest are eerily quiet, still waiting for you to continue your story.

“After I was discharged, my father had someone managed to score himself a promotion. Something about using a sob story about how his daughter was feeling lost being in a small town and needing to explore or some other bullshit. Either way we were suddenly packing and moving to seoul, not that my opinion mattered if I wanted to go or not.

My grades in school were actually pretty good. I really didn’t have anything better to do then study so It was surprisingly easy to get into seoul uni. And well….then I met Jeongin in Biology. Slowly the rest of you followed and wormed your way into my heart,” you smile fondly at the boys around you who smile back, even with tears stained cheeks.

“I really don’t care about the thread Yunjin posted, but my brother saw it and was not happy. He informed our parents and they let me have it. I just sat there taking it when I realized that I didn’t have to put up with this shit anymore. So I kinda just got up, grabbed my stuff and left…Figured you guys wouldn’t mind if I stayed,”

“Never ever. You do realize that now that you’re here we are never letting you go. Ever again,” Changbin whispers, squeezing you a little tighter. The boys are practically cutting off your oxygen but you can hardly care, feeling the love pouring out of them. You love them. You never want to be without them ever again.

“You have been so brave, so strong. We are so proud of you. Thank you. Thank you for waiting for us,”

tl;dr ! yn's parents find out about her soulmates via her brother who found out from the thread. while they chew her out, she realizes that she doesn't has to put up with this anymore and "runs" away (but not without her mother slapping her). she goes over to their apartment to tell them her story. yn was an "accident" and even though her parents didn't want another child, they went ahead with the birth anyway. they, along with her brother never let her forget that she was unwanted. both her parents and her brother are blanks and so she had assumed she would be too - but surprise, surpise. she has 8 soulmates. yn adored her mark and was excited for the day she would get to be with them. she'd spend time staring at her mark, memorizing their names. one day her brother catches her and gets so angry that he takes a lighter and burns her mark. after that yn falls into a deep depression and turns to self-harm in order to cope. still unable to take it and feeling like she let her soulmates down, she decides to take a bunch of sleeping pills. minghao is the one who finds her and saves her. the boys mention that they thought that she had died due to the mark reacting and turning grey. they were very happy when the mark went back to black. after her attempt, her father was able to get a promotion at work and moved their family to seoul, resulting in yn finally finding her soulmates.

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[ganondoodle]

since i have seen this argument pop up again and again and now its used to defend the minecraft movie

i really hate the argument that something, be it a movie or a game, can be as shitty as it wants when its primarily aimed at kids (or people THINK it is aimed mostly at kids) bc its 'just for kids'

like children are lesser an stupid? like they arent incredibly impressionable and deserve good movies? im not saying they should only watch critical acclaimed drama movies, but you can make a movie 'for kids' AND make it good, its been done before, sure there will always be shit movies, and thats fine, but dismissing any kind of criticism towards them bc "its just for kids" feels so unecessarily mean spirited towards children, like they are little people in wildly different stages of development!! they can think too!!

'kids' itself is such a wide range that i feel its not very useful as a category anyway, a 5 year old isnt the same as an 11 year old, both of them should get good things, and both can watch or play things they may not completely understand yet! i grew up with shrek, and while a big parody and haha fart humor movie, they (1+2) have an incredibly strong core, i didnt udnerstand them fully when i was little, so what? i still enjoyed them, i felt more connected to them than any disney movie (bc hey .. the monster is the main guy and no they dont all turn into conventionally pretty humans as the ultimate reward- i felt othered throughout my life too) and i still do, theres jokes and themes and meaning i understood fully only when i was rewatching them as an adult, i still enjoy them even at 27

and like, shouldnt it ESPECIALLY matter what children watch? (not in the puritan brain worm way) bc they are ... people in development?? do you think if they just sit down and watch shitty movies and play games that dont challenge them at all, be it thinking critically or emotionally, all day it wont have an affect on them??

(im sorry to bring up totk again, but that 'its for kids' argument has been used to defend it so much too, and its so incredibly annoying to me, ah yes, its puzzles are all skippable or easy as shit bc its main target are kids and children are stupid and shouldnt be challenged ever, the story is a simple fairytale type deal maybe to you, but contains alot of harmful stereotypes that have led to real world harm and its repeated unquestionably while offering nothing intersting to think or engage with, theres a reason alot of childrens media contains alot of stereotypes to propaganda even but its just for kids of course its not propaganda bc kids are stupid and cant understand that lol BECAUSE they are so impressionable, if a series 'for kids' only lets the girls be in frilly pink dresses and do 'girly' stuff do you not think that wil affect how they think about themselves??

if they keep seeing the light skinned blonde heroe stab the unquestioned evil arab stereotype bc he wants to take over your holy land bc hes just 'evil' and is never ever humanized in any way and only presented as a monster, while the good little maiden princess does everything she can to support her hero in shiny armor with big sad doe eyes and pretty little white dress- do you not think it will affect them? if it were an isolated incidence perhaps not much, but its a stereotype perpetuated to such a degree that you think its just 'how fairytales go'? yeah, you have been influenced by these portrayals, they are working as intented- and if they are used as such in media without the writer intending to influence you that way? thats even worse bc it means it has been so normalized to think that way people dont even realize it- while alot of real people in the world are ganondorf, they are demonized and dehumanized, others think of them as inherently evil.. but its just a "simple fairytale"

yes i know children can also question things on their own, but you shouldnt assume that comes naturally and then also in just the correct way, i questioned why i was just doing whatever the talking boat told me to do when i first played windwaker as a kid, but more bc i liked how ganondorf looked and hated being told things to do without a good reason being given (autism much?), 'evil' didnt do it for me, but that doesnt mean i knew he was an evil arab stereotype, i didnt like tetra turning white as zelda, bc i thought she looked cooler before and i didnt like 'girly' things myself, not bc i knew it was whitewashing

-not saying media should be free of anything 'problematic', the problem is how its presented and never questioned or engaged with critically and then that stupid argument being used to dismiss it like children are both unable to think and not influencable somehow-)

[fatcatlittlebox]

I had an ask about my analysis of Galadriel’s mindset during the season finale and I’ve been avoiding it because I f*cking hated the dialogue they gave her. The more I thought about it though, the more it made sense to me. Galadriel doesn’t want to believe that any of what she shared with Halbrand was real. She doesn’t want to allow that possibility. As others have said, she didn’t just want what he offered. She wanted him. If “he” doesn’t exist, it makes it easier to “shut the door.” She may go her whole life convincing herself that it was a farce to him. Even if that’s how she comes to terms with it, is that really being healed?

From the beginning of their reunion, you could see Galadriel avoids facing Sauron. She doesn’t turn around when he approaches her from behind. She’s frozen. It’s because she doesn’t trust how she will react when she sees his face. Especially if he has the form of Halbrand. She’s terrified of him and she’s terrified of herself. Her mistrust is well placed as we see later. Then, it is only when Sauron faces away from her that she tries to strike him down. Because in confronting him this way, she won’t actually have to face him.

But of course, it doesn’t work. They both knew it wouldn’t. She won’t get off that easily. It’s also an attempt on her part to keep him at a distance. It’s her way of telling him, she’s not here to talk. Sauron flips it on her though. Because Galadriel isn’t a talker anyways. She’s a fighter and violence is a language he is fluent in. He turns their duel into a physical and symbolic conversation. And Galadriel hates it. She hates that he can singularly access her this way and the way no one else can. So she keeps pushing him back and shutting him down. The rest of their confrontation Galadriel volleys a series of sarcastic replies whenever Sauron tries to be sincere with her. She sneeringly asks if he wants to heal her. He says he wants “to heal…” and pauses.

The truth is in that silence. He wishes to heal. Sadly, now it’s established that they’re both going to be lying to themselves so why be honest and open with each other going forward? I think that’s for a multitude of reasons. One, if she deflects his entreaties with sarcasm, she’s not letting his words hit their mark. He can’t worm his way into her mind again. And after having heard Adar describe his own relationship and feelings with Sauron, then watching him get brutally murdured, she feels entirely justified in cosigning that Sauron is an insidious manipulator. That she is no different and would end up exactly as the fallen elf.

Sauron, she tells herself, is the embodiment of evil. She’s not wrong. However, evil can love. It can be twisted and fucked up but no less real. However, that kind of gray area would spell the collapse of her defenses. So she makes him to be this generic evil and responds to him with generic platitudes. It’s impersonal, detached. Business as usual. It’s survival. She has declared in her mind that Sauron is not Halbrand. Ignoring the fact that her mind is not where he slithered his way in. He found his way through her heart.

And Sauron, for his part does a shitty job of convincing her otherwise. There are moments of earnest vulnerability sprinkled in there but in the heat of her anger and outrage, she cannot see it. Their fight tells a story in itself and he toys with her. She knows it too. What’s more, the fight becomes a microcosm of their relationship. She pursues him and he bats her away. He nicks her in precise places on her body - her shoulder, where he saw Valandil pierce her with his sword and then her left flank, where Halbrand was injured - like he means to recall their shared history. But instead of a caress, it’s a cut.

Then he morphs into Halbrand, then Galadriel, then Celebrimbor. He’s telling her that he sees and remembers everything. What she feels is ridiculed and used like a puppet. Finally, the last place he cuts her is over her heart. An unhealing scar will be left. Still he sees and remembers everything. That wound is for the both of them.

By the end of their fight, Sauron has unintentionally reinforced what Galadriel had set out to prove in her mind, if not in her heart. Halbrand never existed. She feels triumphant over Sauron and over the darkness that haunts her. She believes she is “healed.” It’s a parallel of her leap from the ship bound for the Undying Lands. Instead of turning it away, she’s embracing her death and her closure. At the same time, Sauron reaches an epiphany that is similar to her own but fundamentally different: Halbrand is no more. As I had stated before, Sauron likely associates Halbrand as the most vulnerable version of himself even if it is the closest to the truth. It is the version of himself he saw ruling with Galadriel. But he sees this as a failed effort, so it wouldn’t serve a practical purpose to be Halbrand anymore. It was a risk he would rather avoid and he probably wants him gone as badly as she does.

However both of those premises are faulty. Because we, the viewers know what they deny: Halbrand is Sauron. He always will be. They are both lying to themselves. Which begs the question: Was Galadriel healed and reborn in light? Or was she rejected by death because her sacrifice was built on a half-truth? Had she been sent back because she had not completed her mission? She had said her task was to remove the stain of his evil from Middle Earth. Halbrand is Sauron. Even though the door to her mind is shut, the door to her heart is a different story. And his stain is still there.

[atamascolily]

Going back to the imagery and symbolism of the doppelganger and Gothic Double, I was reminded that not only does PMMM already has a name for a magical girl's shadow self (witch), it also has one specifically for Homura's as well. To be honest, I'm kind of surprised that Homulilly's name hasn't come up more often in the speculation of who the "other" Homura might be, given their established connection.

This might seem like a stretch because the last time we saw Homulilly, she was a giant suicidal skeleton, but hear me out.

Rebellion gives us two examples of magical girls who are also witches: Sayaka and Nagisa. As a general rule, Sayaka and Oktavia appear as two separate entities, allowing Sayaka to fight on her own and have emotional moments with Kyouko while Oktavia clashes directly with Homulilly.

Meanwhile, Nagisa does the complete opposite: she embodies her witch Charlotte (both doll and worm forms), appearing as one or the other instead of both at the same time. In a scene that lives rent-free in my brain, she pulls the witch's clown mask over her face while in magical girl form, thus becoming both at once--but I don't think we ever see her split in the same way that Sayaka does with Oktavia.

Taken together, these examples imply that there are different ways magical girls and their witches can relate to each other. Though we have not yet seen a witch split from the original magical girl and take on her form at the same time, Homura, being the Devil, might have other abilities that Nagisa and Sayaka lack, or might be an exception to the general rule. (There is also the weirdness that Homulilly has dramatically different forms, depending on whether we're talking about the PSP game/Magia Records vs. Rebellion, which is unusual in and of itself.)

Homura may be the Devil, but she is also unquestionably still a witch. Not only does she still have her Clara Doll familiars, but her earcuff--her equivalent to a soul gem--says "HOMULILLY" now.

Well, actually, it says HOMUL, but you get the point. Props to the animators for hiding an important detail from the ending in the opening credits.

Rebellion makes a big deal of the fact that soul gems in ring form are marked with the magical girl's name in witch runes--and that magical girls ARE their soul gems--so the fact that Devil!Homura appears to identify on some level as "Homulilly" is fascinating. It's unclear if Devil!Homura has the same relationship to her "Dark Orb" (a name I cannot say with a straight face) that a magical girl has to her soul gem, or if it's merely a device or a tool she created to channel for her powers, but either way, Homulilly is still around.

All this could potentially explain why Homulilly would take on Homura's form in Walpurgis no Kaiten--because on some level, they are the same. Homulilly-as-Homura's double/shadow self would also help retroactively explain why their names are so similar--unusually so for a magical girl and witch pair.

And if Homulilly is the doppelganger, then her motive for messing with Homura (whether that entails infiltrating her life, manipulating Madoka and/or destroying the world) is obvious. Because nobody hates Homura as much as Homura hates herself. Nobody would understand how best to get under Homura's skin than she would. Nobody would be able to anticipate and counter everything Homura does than her own reflection. And it would take all of the suicidal imagery from Rebellion and dial it up to eleven.

Because Homulilly is never directly mentioned by name in Rebellion (only getting a brief title card in witch runes), even if I'm right and this other Homura is Homulilly, I'm not sure that any of the characters in Walpurgis no Kaiten would ever refer to her by this name directly. She herself, if pressed, might say some variation on "I'm you" to Homura, where her identity becomes clear in context. Alternately, that name might appear again in runes (anything in runes is for the audience's benefit, not the characters).

But I'd be very surprised if Homulilly didn't turn up in some fashion in Walpurgis no Kaiten--and this other Homura seems like an obvious candidate given what we know thus far.

[wc-confessions]

Although I may probably be going quite (a bit) too far for saying this - about the people who state this certain thing about Blossomfall, - but-

I honestly think that people who believe that Blossomfall is being immature for being jealous of Briarlight by stating “she’s an adult now, she doesn’t need her mother’s attention and support” just -

Feels like they have at least a bit of a mindset of those type of people who believe that once a teenager turns into a 18 year old, they must AUTOMATICALLY and/or IMMEDIATELY know how to physically, mentally and/or even financially know how to be fully independent and take care of themselves completely alone.

(possibly maybe even having a bit of a similar mindset to some of those parents who kick their child out of the house immediately when they turn 18 years old expecting them to be perfectly fine automatically living on their own (with 0 help?!))

And is someone who just recently turned 18, this belief about recently legal adults is honestly quite untrue.

And is especially true for Blossomfall’s case, considering the fact that she isn’t even moving away to live independently from her family - because she lives within a Clan, which has (at most) around a “small” group of 20-30 people - cats - within it. The place that Blossomfall lives with is the place that she’ll STAY and live within for the entirety of her life, as well living with the people she grew up with - including her mother, Millie.

So the fact that Millie is neglected to see her daughters within a small tightened community - heck, a small tightened group - that they’ll live within for the entirety - or at least, the majority - of their lives, making Millie neglect even MORE impacting and/or noticeable for Blossomfall to experience compared than the average person. Something that’s also hard to ignore when you live and work around and/or with your family members on an everyday basis.

And the fact that Briarlight became disabled when she, Bumblestripe and/or Blossomfall were RECENT adults, making the neglect a bit more impactful, considering the fact it started to occur when Blossomfall was only JUST legally came out of teenage-hood and occurred when she was still quite young, which is QUITE different compared to if the neglect occurred when she was like… around the age of a 25 - 30 year old person I suppose.

Also the fact that Blossomfall shows systems and/or signs of being a “glass child” - feeling and/or being completely or mostly ignored, while their sibling gets all of the affection and love - which is something that can happen in real life, especially with children those parents put more effort and/or love into seeing and/or taking care of their disabled children than their able-bodied children.

Plus - at the very least, from what I heard about her - Blossomfall KNOWS and/or is AWARE that her jealousy towards her sisters is “negative” and/or “irrational” to the point that she literally believed she had deserved to go to literal kitty cat H*LL for it. Over a situation - neglect - that her own mother decided to do, which is something that’s NOT Blossomfall and any of her sibling’s fault.

And while yes, Millie does, care about her Briarlight, her disabled daughter and knows that she may need special care for her disability - that does NOT excuse Millie for NOT giving Blossomfall and Bumblestripe love and affection when she’s able so, let alone within a small tightened community where her children live with and/or around her daily will feel more impacted by her neglect that’s quite noticeable to the people Blossomfall lives around.

And the fact that Millie treatment of Briarlight and her disability is NOT good and is even ableist (at times), which is a WHOLE other (and worser) can of worms itself.

*sighs* Look, I’m not trying to bring back the (past) mindset of the fandom EXTREMELY hating Millie for neglecting Blossomfall.

I’m trying to state that Blossomfall maybe quite a bit over-hated for reacting to Millie neglecting her and her brother within a tightened small group/community, even regardless of how irrational her jealousy towards her sister is. To the point that I wanted to inform people about it within this confession.

So…yeah. Thank you for reading my confession about Blossomfall, and I hope that you at least thought it was a quite interesting confession to read about.

.

[misfiledstatements]

i think Jon's phrasing is really significant when in 166, after the statement, he shudders and goes "God, I hate the Buried"

saying it makes sense bc of his time in the coffin ofc, but also it's so interesting bc Worm Guy Sam's statement compares being Buried to the drudgery and pointless work of working/middle-class life within in a system that will never let him see the metaphorical "light" above ground (or actual fruits of his labor, always having to just get by on what Corporations decide he gets to keep)

so with Jon in his position of Watcher who is "free" to travel in the apocalypse, who is living and walking in the light above ground, who is at least partially responsible for and benefiting from Sam's torture, to say "I hate the Buried" carries different implications than if he were to say "i hate the Dark" or "the Vast," because the words "the Buried" can also apply to the people who are buried, not just the fear itself.

and i'm sure he said he hated the Buried bc of his experience with it, but he could have said "i hate being buried," "i hate this one," or "i hate this place," but instead he said the only phrasing of that sentiment that could apply to both the fear itself and the people he's literally walking over and benefitting from. he's a benefiting from the torment of these people working to feed the fear-machine at the center of the apocalypse, and he says he hates the people he's stepping over.

[largemandrill]

About those Omen with Cloaks

(I’ve found only two of this enemy variety in the game, if there’s any more of them please tell me because they intrigue me so much)

These specific type of omen are quite a rare find, I’ve only managed to find them in two areas:

Leading a small group of commoners in front of the minor erdtree near the draconic tree sentinel fight in the outer capital

2: Deeply hidden within Azuria Hero’s Grave seemingly guarding the crucible winged talisman

These locations are notably very close to one another, both being a similar distance from the main entrance the Tarnished has to the Capital. The omen in the Hero’s Grave, admittedly, has less implications so I’ll be mostly skipping over him (sorry bud)

Going back to the omen next to the minor erdtree, he’s not the only one in his group with a unique model compared to his enemy type. He is surrounded by commoners (who are normally adorned in a pale cloth) wearing pitch black clothing.

They also don’t throw fire pots like other commoners (think the ones in Fort Haight) Instead, they seem to just be chucking regular stones or maybe a pot with no noticeable elemental damage (I’ll do further testing if needed)

The next question is simple: Why the distinction between models compared to the rest of their enemy variety? The answer to this comes in a few different forms, leading with a fact about the Omen present at the scene: He uses Fia’s Mist.

This is the only spell the Omen uses, all of his other attacks are melee with his cleaver. This leads me to believe that this group not only worships the Prince of Death, but that they have specific associations with Fia herself.

The first thing I wanted to prove is that he was actually using the sorcery and not just spitting it out like basilisks and wormfaces. Luckily for me, the symbol of the Death Sorceries, Godwyn’s half of the Centipede wound, flashes in front of his hand when casted (wasn’t able to get a pic of him casting it sadly)

With this Fia association, we can also put the mystery of the unique models to rest. While much dirtier and more withered compared to her clean and soft robes, it seems like these “cult” members are mirroring her appearance. Wether any of these enemies have actually met her in person is a mystery to me. However, if I had to guess, Fia comforting an Omen isn’t entirely out of character for her. She’s always had a soft spot for those oppressed by the golden order. It also wouldn’t be out of character for Fia to gain some allies from a being that has grown to hate the GO for their entire life. Thus, these omen have pledged allegiance to her cause in some form, and to show this commitment, they adorn themselves with replication of the attire that comforted them

Also notable is the specific tree in which the omen are located. This has been pointed out before in This VaatiVidya vid (along with some of the other stuff mentioned here) is that this Minor Erdtree could possibly be the one that Godwyn himself was buried under.

These two tree’s don’t align perfectly on the map or in world, but their proximity to each other is deeply notable. Maybe there was an intended alignment that was harder to implement due to the locations of the other underground areas, but I’ll bite at the worm anyway that this is supposed to be the same tree. How else could the rotting that is only seen in this tree be explained anywhere else? The trees in the Mountain tops are broken off at the too, but this one is visibly dying in a way unique to itself.

In conclusion (?)

There is a chance that Fia’s worshipping of Godwyn is not only shared by her and TWLID, but by others spurned by the GO and Erdtree. A few Omen found comfort in her and believed that her cause could maybe assist in bringing them back into society as accepted beings. I cannot decide if this possibility is sweet or deeply unsettling.

[reds-writings]

First and foremost, you are so talented in the fluidity of your writing and the characterisation of Rust. I was wondering how you think Rust would react if the Reader got pregnant? Would he pull a 2002 and freak out and leave? Would he even be capable of doing that?

thank you so much anon!! here’s some headcannons on that topic!

-

heavy content involving child loss ahead!! mentions of pregnancy and implications of abortion!! do not read if these are triggering topics!!

-

-i actually planned for the reader in the jj universe to not be able to have children due to a forced (botched) procedure from a teen pregnancy thus making her infertile (not sure if i was going to make a smaller fic about it since it’s such heavy content)

-so she understands having life take away something so crucial from her and having the choice of children be permanently made for her (just in a different way)

-but! if she were to hypothetically be able to have children:

-rust is dead set on never having children again after sofia as per various scenes stating so throughout the show

-what was once deep despair from such devastating loss slowly hardened into a sworn duty to never be selfish enough to bring something so pure for the never ending evils of the world to take away or tarnish

-you understand this and after one rather ugly argument about it one night a while back that almost had you two splitting you realized that you could set aside that certain desire (for it was a distant one to begin with)

-with your line of work and how little time you have it never seemed much of a reality anyway

-it’s not that rust hates children or is cruel to them in any capacity. he looks out for them and is kind to them in his own way, just at a preferred arm’s length distance more or less

-it’s hard to expect someone, let alone one like rust, to be able to ever pick up from the tragedy of his daughter’s death and start anew just like that

-to him it’d be like she never existed. like he’d be forced to forget and let go of his undying love for the precious soul ripped from him so cruelly. the thought of it all made him nothing short of sick and you wouldn’t be the one to push him on it

-if you were to ever get pregnant though it’d be an honest to god slip up

-how he’d react would greatly depend on how far into the relationship you’d be and just where he is in life at that moment

-his first instinct would to be to shut down and run but it’s you so fighting that internal battle would be hell itself

-he’d probably do the wrong thing and keep his distance one way or another for a while. leaving you to feel all sorts of things not good bc all you have is yourself at the moment to process something so monumental

-you’d like to think he wouldn’t just be some asshole deadbeat but the severe bout of radio silence became a breeding ground for negative second thoughts

-like this is something that might cause a huge rift or separation should you keep it

-mr ‘a man needs a family’ marty would be so mad at that man oh lord. he’s hounding on him any chance he gets

-would fr give him the cold shoulder at first with the news of your guys’ predicament and how rust was handling it like a damn coward (his words not mine)

-it takes a real hot minute (like far into the pregnancy hot minute) but rust does finally come around although things are still horribly tense

-trusting him to not turn tail again was a feat in itself. you gave him the rundown that if he wasn’t ready you didn’t need him around no matter how much you loved him. plus this was a ‘it takes two to tango’ situation so no one was to necessarily blame. it was what it was and that was that.

-you were done with the unnecessary stress and drama. all you could do was lay out the rules and let him decide to get with it or not

-it’d be hard on him once he’s realized how much of the little things he missed so far on the beginning of this new journey so that’s a whole other can of worms to deal with

-he tries his best in his own way to do what he can to make up for his absence. build a crib/nursery necessities, take you to the rest of your appointments, have everything you need at the ready, quiet freak outs about your health every minute of the day and so on. silent acts of service as per usual

-his insomnia is his excuse to make sure you’re doing okay but he won’t admit it really

-the fear of it all grips at you two in different ways but his is all the more paralyzing at times

-(he breaks down on his own time when the baby is born no doubt)

-i feel once the baby does come around he’d be one of those slightly distant fathers more often than not

-his support is performed in silence and his affections are kept mostly at bay. kinda like an old school dad who takes on the sole role of being a provider/mentor while you give your outward affections/love enough for the both of you and focus on keeping your kid happy

-there are times where he lets this demeanor slip, where you just know that he’d do anything no matter what for this kid despite it all. that loving them didn’t mean forgetting sofia. not in the slightest

-he’d just be extremely slow to warm and it’d take a lot of time to chip away at his exterior in this context but he also probably keeps in mind not to end up a total fuckhead like his father

[unlikelysaintdelele]

some interesting things i've noted during my ACOTAR reread Pt. 2

*SPOILER WARNING for those who haven’t completed the series*

I finished ACOTAR a few weeks ago but I haven't gotten the chance to transfer my notes until now. Once again, names have been color-coded!

Feyre couldn’t keep her mouth shut only around Rhys. It’s almost like her true self comes out around him.

Anytime Feyre calls on some strength, the image of Nesta comes to mind. She sees Nesta as strong and admires her for that.

A queen without a throne

Are tattooed bargains a night court specialty? I was listening through the graphic audio, as a reminder, so some things slip through.

Pearls in Nesta’s hair. It makes me think of the pearl jewelry Elain later receives from Lucien. I think pearl is meant to represent luxury, and it seems to complement their features.

Elain is the only one with their father’s eyes and I always found it interesting. How similar is Elain to her father? Her father favored her, but I think that’s only because Nesta was cold and Feyre was busy.

Warrior beast vs half-wild beast, Tamlin and Feyre bonding for being unrefined (Disney Beauty and the Beast reference?)

“Don’t ever disobey me again” is honestly not the vibe, Tictac.

I don’t like knowing Tamlin’s anger is on a tight leash with Feyre. He’s angry at her. It feels overprotective in such a suffocating way.

“There you are, I’ve been looking for you.” SOB

The most beautiful man she’s ever seen

Blue eyes so deep they were violet

They just stared at each other! As if in a daze! 

Night pressed in closer around him, smiling

Molded from the night itself, star-kissed night

I have a random “until dawn” note… idk

Cauldron boil me (double, double, toil and trouble… sorry, random silly thought)

Elain began learning to grow veggies! Reminder, the soil at the cottage was crap, it couldn't sustain the veggies. Elain could barely grow flowers. People keep forgetting that Feyre was their only access to nourishment because there was no other choice. Sweet Elain gets so much hate for not using her gardening skills to help, but it was set up so that she couldn't.

Nesta’s iron-will allowed her to resist glamour! I want more on Nesta’s strength. This is one of many reasons why I’ve been a Nesta stan since day one. I know she was cruel but we’re told why in book one. She wanted her father to do something, anything: be a father and care for them. I’m not saying it was any excuse to be cruel, but they were in a shitty situation and she showed her love for her family in other ways. Being willing to lay down her life for Elain? Going after Feyre even knowing it was risky? Asking to be taught to paint? She loves her sisters, she just shows it differently.

Heart of Stone was mentioned for a second time! hehe

Wyyyyyyyyrrrrmmmmmm. I’m a fan of giant worms (Dune, Star Wars). Fun fact about me: I went through a short phase where I just kept writing about worms.

Feyre deems Elain as stronger for being hopeful. She sees so much strength in her sisters and admires them for their differences.

Love Nesta! More Nesta love. She wondered what a woman might do with a fortune and a name. She wanted to travel! She wanted that independence! Pre-war Nesta hurts to experience. She’s opening up now that she’s safe socioeconomically and physically. It makes me wonder what else would have begun to heal if she got more of that peace and security.

Rhys: because I’m tired and lonely. The things he does and willingly puts himself through to protect his court and anyone else he can spare. Love his complexity.

(apparently there's a character limit for each block of text so here's a lil divider)

Honestly? I was vibing with the Tamlin romance, it was chill. The bite was nice. UNTIL Rhys appeared. Timtam just seems so stale in comparison. The chemistry is immediate between Rhys and Feyre, the tension is palpable. I’m still not over how Feyre chose Tampon over Lucien. why would I pick someone so clumsy with affection and who isn’t around nearly as much as the sassy redhead who bickers with me like an old friend? Rhys > Lucien > Tamlin is the order at the moment, and the order will stay until I have to consider the other boys (wait for me batboys).

Tamlin’s dad was Amarantha’s friend! They fought together in the war. Rhys’ father killed Tamlin’s, so Amarantha took Rhys in as a lover as punishment. Amarantha is so greedy honestly, and it's so gross. She wants Tamlin and Rhys but the only reason Tamlin hasn’t been forced like Rhys is that she wants to be chosen, she wants him to come to her willingly

Even in their last moments together, Rhys and Feyre are honest with each other. Honest in a way I've never seen her with Tamlin.

Very excited to begin ACOMAF, my fave book of the series.

[sensei-venus]

What about shy Eli with bully!reader? I think he'd be a little embarrassed that he finds Reader hot because she calls him names and it makes him feel pathetic, but she knows and teases him for it.

(Unedited)

•Eli doesn't find Kyler hot at all and all he does is bully him. He calls him names and physically messes with him. Picking him up and throwing him around. He hates Kyler with a passion and can't stand him by any means.

•Reader is different, maybe because she's actually strong? Because she doesn't need to be a hot shot to get what she want and intimidate people like Kyler does. She doesn't have to lie about anything to look cool and be popular like he does, that's what makes her so attractive.

•It also doesn't help that she's physically attractive, at least to Eli she is. She has a pretty face and got body. She's sexy as hell. Her hands are soft, at least from when she touches up on him in the hallways or messes with him in the library. When she puts her hands on him to mess with him, hard slaps and rough face holds. Her eyes are big and her hair looks soft. Hell her whole body looks soft, from her thighs to her chest.

•She constantly calls him mean names when they are at school. She degrades him for just about anything she sees him do. She yells them at him in the hallways or in the lunch room, some times she corners him in classes or around the school. She gets in his face and calls him a worm, a moron, a loser.

•Somedays he avoids her just because he knows he can't stop himself from popping a boner in the hallway because of her. One rude comment and he's already half hard in his pants. He can feel the way his boxers tent from his embarrassing erection. He gets red in the face because he knows it won't go away by itself. He tries to hide it under his shirt, trying to pull it down over his bulge.

•When she finally catches him, fully hard, pants tented , he thinks his life is over. He thinks about how she might pull out her phone and record him while talking down to him for popping a boner over his own bully, bullying him. He’s on the verge of tears as she corners him. His eyes widen when she just smiles and grabs his hand and pulls him down the hall and into a single bathroom.

•He’s scared at first when she locks the door behind them, they stand in the bathroom together. But then she’s licking up his neck and sucking on his collar bone. His pale skinned neck completely covered in blooming dark marks from her sucking fat hickeys into him. He whimpers the whole time. He’s breathing heavy as she pants against his skin. He can feel her lips turn up into a smirk as the minutes go by.

•Then she’s taking off his belt and shoving her hands down his pants and into his boxers. Her fingers locking around his hard cock. She slowly starts jerking before she’s spitting in her hand and going back in. “Isn’t cute, you have a fat cock but clearly you don’t know how to use it. Don’t worry nerd, I’ll help you out and show you how to use it the right way.” She bits her lip before she’s pulling him into a kiss. He moans as he kissed her back, fully enjoying her torture. His cock twitches in her hand.

•They kiss for a while before she’s shoving his pants and boxers down to his knees. Then she’s on the floor in front of him, her noses poking at his inner thigh as she kissed his slim thigh. She sucks along his flesh before she gets to his weeping dick. She smiles up at him as she grips his dick, then slaps the fat head against her tongue a few times being swirling her warm tongue around it. His eyes are glazed over as he watched her lick up his pre-cum. A minute later she has his whole dick down her throat , she’s moaning and spitting all over it. Drool bubbles from the corner of her mouth. Before long he’s cumming in her mouth, she pulls off and shows him. Opening her mouth to show off her reward of milky white cum before swallowing it all down in one gulp.

•She helps put his boxers and pants back on. She kissed all over his face, he pants out as he try’s to regain his breath, he’s still hazy from his orgasm. She’s kissing him again, her kisses are deep and sweet. Before he can fully get himself together she is pulling his chin up and squeezing his face. With venom in her voice she hisses out “You don’t get to do this with anyone. No one gets to treat you like I treat you. Your mine. Kyler can suck my clit, your mine and only I get to call you nasty shit. I’m the one who owns you and that dick. If I find out you let anyone else do the shit I do to you, your cute stupid ass is mine.” She smirks before heavy handed patting his cheek and leaving the bathroom. She leaves him in the bathroom alone to think about the fact that his hot bully likes him.

[gaygajeel]

what are some of your honest gripes with Mashima?

this is a large can of worms to open, and i feel if i had the time & energy i could make my own 2 hr long youtube video essay on the topic- but the biggest thing that always comes to mind first is the general treatment & depiction of women, both in the writing itself and the art. while theres certainly other things baked into the writing, art, & character designs- such as repeated instances of racism, transphobia, homophobia- the most in your face issue imo is the misogyny baked into his work. im obvs most familiar with fairy tail, ive only half-heartedly skimmed some of his other works in sheer curiosity. but within fairy tail alone, women never really feel like they get to be truly their own, fully faceted characters. they have to revolve around a man or the men in their life, they have to be sexy & appealing to said mens eye (including young girls)- or, theyre the butt of an "ugly women" joke (the way virgo was introduced comes to mind, for example.) im a trans man whose been presenting as such for all my adult life, so only part of my life i can really see reflected in these issues. but even not being someone wholly, truly impacted by the effects of misogyny anymore, its such a glaring issue to me in his work. i could never recommend work of his without ten million asterisks regarding the issue. beyond issues such as that... something that always irritates me about fairy tail is i think there are cool concepts at hand, and neat character arcs. whenever i revisit ft i always am hit with how much i like grays character arc in the beginning, i like the messy family drama of the dreyars that gets introduced/hinted at, i like the different forms of magic. i genuinely like the concept of the dragon slayers a lot, i think its neat! but many of these concepts and character aspects introduced are hinted either dont get explored, or get beaten into the ground too much. examples of both for the sake of it- gajeel being a spy for ft to get dirt on ivan is never truly explored, when we already had an arc of laxus fucking around with the guild due to family shit. as for concepts being beaten into the ground... even as someone who really likes dragon slayer magic, everything revolving around the dragon slayers in the end gets old. this goes for character traits as well being used to hell and back, causing stagnant characters, such as juvia never becoming someone outside of her love for gray. i love fairy tail and how cheesy it is and so many of its characters, but it truly is one of the bodies of work in my life that has so many glaring issues from the creator that its not smth i often talk to other ppl about. its peak garbage to me. i love the characters, i also hate so much of the writing mashima baked into them. i love the concepts and the ideas, i hate so much of the execution. it is one of those series i hold in my hand like, "i wish you were put in more capable hands."

[the-s1lly-corner]

I want to request like. A cuddling session with Slenderman, who is having a bad day and we comfort him

(つ≧▽≦)つ

I'm addicted to the idea of him pretending to be okay with people calling him monster, but deep down he has this longing for it to stop, since he wanted to get along with the proxies and others he deemed second family.

So he like, rant about his day while reader comfort him.

Maybe get him a little fluster aswell （〜^∇^ )〜

(Take your time and have a good day/night)

All Entwined in One Web

obligatory im stuck in the 2015 era of the creepypasta fandom and ive been mulling over this sort of approach in my head for the past month because i revisited an old slenderman x oc fanfic that had a death grip on me and shaped the way i will interact with + and consume creepypasta stuff for the sake of saving grace and not revealing HOW cringe i was im not going to drop the fanfic name (unless yall dm me because!! i still wanna support the author even if it seems theyre inactive now!) i blame this author for making me a demon sympathizer/j/lh written kinda different than my basic bullet list of hcs! got silly with this one, sorry if its jarring compared to my usual stuff </3 this post is mostly just my hc on like. slender (and by extension all demon characters) being neutral and a simple part of nature that stems from zalgo (yay im finally dropping zalgo lore for my au since he functions differently in my au/hc!!) so take this with a HUGE grain of salt since i feel this deters from the main take people use (that ive seen, at least) this one ended up being more.. sad than i first intended and imma be honest i kinda got into my feelings when i was writing this anywaus i hope this isnt too cringe since i dont talk much about my HUGEhcs/au stuff/rewritten stuff so!! plus i dont usually write BIG detailed stuff like this sobsob tldr; slenderman isnt good or evil hes just a neutral piece of nature in the world and hes trying to cope with it. the demon gods really fucked up by making him sentient and able to process human like emotions

death is a force of nature and people curse it for simply being a part of life; people curse wild animals for being, and people will curse the weather

in this universe, or timeline, demons exist in a similar manner. slenderman exists simply because hes a part of that huge web of nature. of course, that includes every single ugly instinct that humans hate so so much. and he can understand why, even if its his nature.

the one responsible for that web, is zalgo. the beginning and end of everything. neither alive nor dead, all demons stem from zalgo in one way or another.

a solitary creature that prefers to stay alone in the comfort of its home, it doesnt tend to reach out to harm others unless theres harm. only really attacking people that threaten to expose it or get too close...

except, you... you were the one exception. regardless of how you managed to worm yourself into his heart, and become his lifelong companion, hes grateful for your presence when things begin to build up.

he knows that in the eyes of others, he ugly and vile, but he knows that ultimately thats what protects him. he insists that its better this way, sticking to the forest away from the prying eyes.

SURE, he could follow in his brothers footsteps and make a false human body and try to blend in with the people. but is that really efficient? is that really something he wants? hes a powerful being but that would eventually take its toll on him..

ultimately he resigns himself into your arms; once oozing powerful and command, now crumpled and curled.

he never had a childhood, when zalgo created him, he simply.

was

no adolescence, no developing, no growing. he was always what he was meant to be, but he likes to think that when youre holding him, that this is what it feels like to be so small and vulnerable.

humans had it so easy, hed think. theyre born and they die and the process repeats itself for everyone. they dont have to be feared or hated, or kill to survive.

yes, to him, being mortal was far more preferable to being condemned to being a lonely hermit who corrupts and breaks everything it touches.

even with your comfort, theres only so much that you can do; youll eventually pass on as well and hell be stuck in his cycle once more

but for now, as you hum softly and whisper nothings to him as you let him crumble; hell let himself weep just this once.

because as much as he envies your life, and what humans have, he cant deny that he cant bring himself to truly hate them, because like him, theyre simply a piece of natures web.

[platoniccereal]

Curious, what's your main reason for liking scaraether/aescara?

*brain worming intensifies.* hiii anon thanks for asking!

there are so many reasons. first of all, i appreciate what they have in canon. even timeline wise i don't think there has been anyone for aether as an enemy this long, starting with mondstadt and ending at sumeru. i love good enemies to lovers, and in canon they both had a chance to see each other grow and change while not being that present in each other's lives due to their rare run ins. they mind their own business and at the same time meet under the fate's guidance itself. there's something very tasty for me, for some reason.

consequently and secondly, they end up being so important in each other's lives, especially aether for scaramouche. scaramouche had a chance to see aether get weaker as in, get attached to the world aether is supposed to be *trapped* in, to its people. aether is the one to bring scaramouche to his knees from his godhood. at the same time aether is the one to see all of scaramouche's/the wanderer's past *several* times (the memory from haypasia + the academic texts in two variations + nahida's gift of memory + nahida's fairy tale) and yet fight scaramouche on account of his shitty plans and deeds, but not his nature. i wrote it once, haypasia saw scaramouche's past and he immediately admitted divine affection to her - and aether has done the same.

the third point is that i adore them as characters themselves and, hence i adore their possible dynamic even more. i love them being immortal for each other, but being able to teach each other different aspects of it: the wanderer teaches aether about being left behind by the one crucially important to him, aether teaches him how to accept the fleeting nature of mortal life and yet *appreciate and love it*. i like thinking that even though aether was the one to bring scaramouche down and pry away divinity from his hands, aether also can be the one to worship the wanderer, to love him unconditionally, to be that the one and only follower. it's a nice parallel.

i love the possibility of them being a little (or not little) unhinged for each other, because i believe no immortal remains on hinges. and i believe they can give each other so many aspects of relationships, going from their hate and violence to absolute adoration, to acceptance and still being very violent, but in a loving way. but i derail further and further into my headcanons. although the fact of how many dynamics and different shades they can accommodate make me so interested in them.

so. yeah. love scaraether, everyone. and thank you for your question again, anon!

[horizon-verizon]

Thoughts on Daenerys publicly executing the former slave and how she went about it in S05x02?

In a word? Not great. Boo.

The show rewrite & repurposing of Mossader &seems like it was meant to rewrite progression of the "error" Daenerys makes with her dragons by essentially adding another one that I'm sure they didn't think was an serious error. A way for them to try to make Dany seem a worse leader & thinker than she really is. I don't like how the show basically tried to make her look tyrannical by making her violently suppress the actions of someone who was both devoted to her and really had already been shut down before when he was saying the right thing. Which was to just get rid of this harpy-hire dude at the very least and at most what she said abt sending a message.

I also hated how it made Mossader look irrational & nearly "savage" through a display of fanatics--in how he almost dreamily said he did it "for her", posing Daenyers' goddess-like stature as easily shiftable to threatening. Foreshadowing that horrible erroneous ending of her becoming a Hitler figure. Like the scene was saying to us she inspires generationally brutalized and dehumanized brown people to the point of irrational "frenzy" and she cannot even be nuanced or sympathetic as she had been before in her ruling for Mossader. This pathetic-ized person who had at one point called her Mhysa and believed in her.

But the narrative the show pushes is not even fair itself to this man (hypocritically) & is just using him to denigrate Dany; becasue why are we making the only male brown former slave besides Grey Worm do such a thing AND be as I said "fanatical" towards the white Dany??! This man, who was put on their council as the voice and reason of those freed Meereenese...appears to us as totally unreasonable bc we know and he "should" have known that there were consequences for disrupting the Westerosi-style of "fair trial" and "honor"...The trial would be a false one, bc this guy will not be let off or go free. His crimes are obvious. Even if we did posit him going free, he'd likely just go back to being a hire for the harpy!

Plus we saw how actual ineffectual and emotion-based/false honor-based actual Westerosi trials can be through both of the trials against Tyrion: at the Eyries; esp the one at the Red Keep after Joffrey dies. So much for fairness of the superior Westerosi style of justice! (another hypocrisy of the writing itself)

So the show has Dany simultaneously "fails" Mossader, and utterly. As if the bonds she has with the slaves and her mission really don't mean anything to her.

After all, does she not marry Hizdahr, reopen the fighting pits (later) to stop the killings of the freedmen...Then she kills the freedman who was supposed to rep them all??

And the points Hizdahr & Barristan Selmy tried to make against killing the dude besides the trial..."poor and young"; "Why should he want to bring back slavery? What did it do for him?"; " I don't know it, and I'm the head of a great family."...why are we even indulging in these stupid protests?!!! We know his presence is so the other nobles feel they have say and influence over Dany, but there was no rebuttal (or at least a sign from her dismissing Hizdahr, whether he sees it or not) from show!Dany against his absurd "logic" about "going easy" on this guy. Huh?!

Subsequently, she loses a lot of faith from the freedmen who beg for not only Mossader's life but for her to not bend to the masters' clear attempt to confuse the priority. Which is their total freedom at those masters' expense. Which is exactly what D&D wanted bc they hate her, refuse to understand her, and lost interest in this series.

It was just a huge mess!

CONTEXT for comparison

a)

Mossador died differently in the original book series ("A Dance with Dragons -- Daenerys II"):

In the show, he gets executed because show!Daenerys wanted to re-establish a peace of between the freedmen and the former (not so former) slavers and elites of Meereen. Some, if not all, of these elites formed the group "Sons of the Harpy", and in the show one of these are captured. Show!Mossader didn't believe that any of the Masters would just lie down and allow Daenerys' end to legal slavery in Meereen stick. And that they'd eventually somehow either get this prisoner out OR this Master would be somehow saved in the process of a the trial that was planned for him:

MOSSADOR: Sons of the Harpy, they want to put a collar back on my neck. On all of our necks. Please, Your Grace, you must kill him. DAENERYS: It would send a message. BARRISTAN: I think you should exercise restraint, Your Grace. DAENERYS: Why? BARRISTAN: For one thing, he may have valuable information. DAARIO: The Son of the Harpy has no more valuable information. BARRISTAN: How do you know that? DAARIO: Because I questioned him. HIZDAHR: And the information you did get, he is young and poor. MOSSADOR: He is born free. HIZDAHR: Why should he want to bring back slavery? What did it do for him? DAENERYS: Perhaps the only thing that gave him pride was knowing that there was someone lower than he was. MOSSADOR: They pay him. Great families afraid to do a thing. They pay poor man to do it for them. HIZDAHR: And how do you know this? MOSSADOR: Everyone knows this. HIZDAHR: I don't know it, and I'm the head of a great family. BARRISTAN: We do not know what this man did or didn't do. (to Daenerys) Give him a trial, at least. A fair trial. Show all of the citizens of Meereen that you are better than those who would depose. Teach them a better way. MOSSADOR: I do not know the place from where Old Ser comes. Things maybe are different there, I hope. But here, in Meereen, before Daenerys Stormborn, they own us. So we learn much about them or we do not live long. They teach me what they are. Mercy, fair trial: these mean nothing to them. All they understand is blood!

So he preemptively and vengefully kills the prisoner, and as you see here, he expresses no regrets about disobeying Daenerys and doing it:

DAENERYS: Why? MOSSADOR (Valyrian): For you, Mhysa. You wanted the Harpy dead, but your hands were tied. I set you free, as you did all of us. DAENERYS: He was our prisoner, awaiting trial. You had no right. MOSSADOR: He would rather rip your city apart than see slaves lifted from the dirt. DAENERYS: There are no more slaves. There are no more Masters. MOSSADOR: Then who lives in the Pyramids? Who wears gold masks and murders your children? When Grey Worm came to us, I was the first to take up the knife for you. I remember the look on my father's face as I struck down his Master, who had traded his infant son for a dog. My father died in the fighting. If we allow the Sons of the Harpy to return us to chains, he never lived. DAENERYS: The Harpy's life was not yours to take. Once, the Masters were the law-- MOSSADOR: And now you are the law! DAENERYS: The law is the law. Take him.

Mossador died differently in the original book series ("A Dance with Dragons -- Daenerys II"):

He's one of the many freedmen murdered by the Sons. And it's not until the 4th episode that her 2nd husband will appear, and he matters bc this is about how she gets on Drogon and re-orient her goals.

b) Attempt at a Summary (How Dany Actually gets to Marry Hizdahr, his role, and Riding Drogon out of the Pit.)

Bk!Dany does have an arc where she at first tries to acclimate or compromise with the former slave masters for the sake of peace in Meereen but comes to realize that her efforts is simply not going to work. She reopens the fighting pits where former slave gladiators would fight after Hizdahr zo Loraq petitions her several times and brings some famous gladiators to beg her to reopen them. She, like in the show, marries Hizdahr and makes him her royal consort when he meets her condition of bringing some 90 days of peace (the high priestess, the Green Grace Galazza Galare suggested a marriage to him). Absolutely no murders or attacks against freedmen nor those few nobles who actually are obeying Dany. In this observation and despite what another noble, Skahaz mo Kandaq, warned about Hizdahr being the the Harpy, leader of the Sons of the Harpy. He was one fo the nobles who decided to abandon the slavery society and "ways" other nobles want to keep going. Again, she wanted that peace and dismissed his warning, and Hizdahr starts to show his true colors in his dismissing Skahaz from his position as the leader of the new Meerenese "city watch", or police, and appointing one of his own cousins. He says that this is to get more of the nobles on her side. (He's not the Harpy, but he's definitely closely tied to them.)

They reopen the fighting pits to celebrate the wedding; Hizdahr insists the fighters volunteered. Hizdahr offers Dany locust treats, it turns out they are poisoned later on when we see Strong Belwas get very sick from them and it's only due to his large and heavyset body that he survives. Dany sees that he's very into the violence, in a way that gets mixed with a sexual excitement at it. During another fight, Drogon appears, Hizdahr calls for people to kill Drogon, and Daenerys jumps into the pit to calm and try to bring Drogon to heel, she's flies off, Drogon basically leading her. Dany, half starved & dehydrated, dreams of her brother and hallucinates Jorah Mormount (those close to her who've betrayed her) but it's also her reflecting on her persistent guilt for the girl Drogon killed that motivated her into the mistake of locking up her dragons. Narrowly escaping a Dothraki scout, she and Drogo fly to another place, eating horse, and that's where the scout's khal, Jhaqo, and his warriors find her. Resumably to try to rape & kill her or to to take her back to Vaes Dothrak to the dosh khaleen and become one of them forever.

In all the time Dany was gone, Hizdahr has been trying to use his marriage to Daenerys to rule Meereen in her absence and a plot (he likely enabled even by just taking instructions) to retake the city gets foiled under Barristan Selmy, Missandei, and Grey Worm's leadership. There are prisoners they take & essentially they are now running the city in Dany's name, waiting for her return. Hizdahr is one of those prisoners. But in the show, Hizdahr died at the pits when a Harpy stabs him.

[atomarium]

I don't personally understand the motivation of the ancients. The whole plot of Rain World revolves around the cycle of death and life. The cycle provides guarantees that whatever happens, you will still live. This security is not a curse; it's a gift. Just imagine what you could do! There are no risks too great, no sacrifices too great, no goal unachievable. If, in the end, everything comes back, why would you want to escape this security?

The motivation for that stated in the game is primarily boredom or tiredness. But if we can approximately say that a cycle is at most a week, and a couple of thousand weeks is indeed a lot, there is still so much to do! You could learn every language, study all the sciences, help others, build things, maybe even be friends with everyone at some point. Everyone can explore their interests without fear of time or death. And in their society, even without fear of hunger or danger. Perhaps they wouldn't want to kill themselves if they didn't eat gravel and starve themselves?

Martyrs tried to achieve Ascension, which, as far as I know, is STILL LIFE. You still experience things, it's just in a different plane. It's not absolute nothingness, nonexistence of yourself like in our world.

It is also clear to me that the ancients weren't the brightest and the most curious. We know that other stars exist, and there is, at the very least, the moon. You can't say none of them looked up at the sky and never wondered what is up there and how it all works. And tell me that they just "didn't bother." The fact that they didn't even try finding out if void sea existed on other planets! What if their planet was special? If so, then why? Do they know how the world started? Do they know why the cycle exists? Why didn't they want to know the universes beauty and secrets ?

If they are capable of building enormous godlike creations that aren't machines nor are quite organisms and making thousands if not millions of them, and capable of producing practically infinite amounts of energy, they surely possess the intelligence and the ability to travel among stars! And they don't even know the existence of void worms. Or what is the void sea itself. Or even why is it there.

But yet they create organisms who are themselves trapped in a cycle to serve only them and only their purpose. If they hated life so much, why didn't they try to make it better? And not only for themselves, but for every creature. They clearly have the ability to. You could make artificial bliss, relive your memory forever in a loop, exist in a constant state of happiness. Or if you are tired of it, why not just go to sleep forever in a cryo chamber? Why not build monuments, art, wonders of your own achievement? They could have done so much, brought so much peace and happiness to the world and its creatures. But instead, they abandoned their universe and built their own gods, the iterators. Whose only purpose was to find a way to kill them, reliably. Bash their head at a great problem, countless times. At the problem that they themselves created. Because those who sinned were afraid to ascend the old way. Out of fear of being stuck here forever, forced to love this world as an echo. They essentially made their children, their creations slaves with only one purpose, and in the process, doomed the ecosystem of their own world. This is relatable to humanity in some sorts, but at least we are curious; we try finding out answers to questions that may not even be answerable.

But hey at least we now have scugs.

I may be misinformed about some things, wrong about others. I would apriciate any comments remarks or additions to this.

Also to those who have red everything so far.

May the iterators have mercy on you.