#(It's been one heck of a month but I am a-okay and ready to draw my otp again)

[nabs-draws]

A lot have been on my mind lately and I thought I gonna share it today. Alongside this little page from my new Sketchbook. I freshly started it two days ago after for it patiently waiting in my shelf for 3 month, ready to be filled with good and bad drawings. And notes. Because I also write a lot.

Anyways. One thing that came into my mind was a quote a while ago. It came from a person on Youtube talking about AI Art. He said something along the lines of : "Artists don't like to draw but they like to see the end product"

Of course I can't talk for all artists on the world. But I am very certain that this statement is not true for most artists. What I'm going to describe now is more "my" experience. Maybe some artists here on Tumblr find themselves in these statement. Some might not. Both are valid and both are okay.

This might be shocking to you (or not) but if I'm being honest, I do not really care much for the end product. I never did. I maybe do, if a client is involved in the process but my core creativity stems from just doing something with my Hands. Grabbing my mechanical pencil and listening to the scratching noises on the paper while I slowly put Graphite on it. How some simple shapes slowly transforms itself into a drawing. An eye…the other eye… F*** I ruined the other eye. Doesn't matter. Lets continue from here. Taking a piece of my kneadable eraser , forming it into a convinient form and picking up some graphite areas in order to put on some highlights. At this point it's literally sculpting on Paper.

My digital approach is quite similar. Yet, instead of a Graphite pencil, or colored pencils I now have a overwhelmingly limitless palette. All the colors in the world (or within my RGB range) that I can throw together. The outcome is still not me carrying much for the result, but the process that leads me to the result The thinking process, the learning on the way. The test phase , in order to see if the process made sense in the end or not. Researching, learning again. And always with a brink of challenging myself to do better while also being in a almost meditative state. And every new piece of art I do is like a journey into the unknown. Sometimes I run into uncomfortable territories but it feels great to overcome them and literally feel the growth afterwards. Even with client work. And the best part of it is when my clients feel the same energy from the design I made for them.

Heck, I just love drawing and designing and the design thinking process. More than anything else in the world. And even the words I wrote are a simple understatement of how I truely feel about creating. Even when I got vulnerable at some parts.

And this feelings for the drafts of art is not unique to me. It's a universal artist experience. Go ask other artistic professionals. James Jean, Ian Mcque, or Bobby Chiu. Just watch all the dozens of Sketchbook tours that Proko has uploaded on his channel. Or the THU Sketchbook Tours where you not only see beautiful and inspiring sketches, but also get a glimpse into the minds of other artists. Or the Schoolism Interviews where Artists all over the world talk about their craft and the love to it. (just to reveal some places that made me fall in love with art all over again.)

And now let me ask you again: Do Artists really hate the process?

And for the transparacy: Some portraits where referenced from following fashion photographers: Keta Tamamura (Nezu 2019) Victor Demarchelier (photographing Katie Moore)

[destourtereaux]

his #1 best friend - james f. potter x fem!reader (part 1)

summary: james convinces you to fake date him in an attempt to make lily jealous. need i say more?

word count: 1.5k

follow @lovebirdupdates to join my "taglist"!

warnings: mentions of food and eating -- super fluffy tho!

read part two here!

a/n: helllo guys! this is my entry for @acosmis-t 's writing challenge (sorry isa i literally write like a mf snail). i combined this with a request from an anon who wanted some fake dating (which i was veeery happy to oblige~)

also,, i have a bad habit of making my james x reader fics waay longer than i envision them, so there will likely be a part 2 to this!

as always, REBLOG if you enjoy, it means a lot!

prompts:

16. “You took all the pillows so I’m using you as one.”

18. “You are crushing me right now.”

******

"Y/L/N! Just the girl I wanted to see!”

You whip around to see a James Potter who was positively beaming, a huge grin on his face. You groaned. The last time you had seen him like this, your hair had been neon pink for almost a week afterwards; he had been sent to distract you while Sirius snuck the dye into your shampoo.

And so, your response was less than warm. “To what do I owe this pleasure, Potter?”

He pouted. “Aw, can’t a boy visit his #1 best friend for fun?”

You rolled your eyes. “Last I checked, my name isn’t Sirius, and I most definitely am not a Black. So, I’d say you’re in the wrong dorm, James.”

He laughed. “Alright, alright. However, I am indeed in the right place, because… well let’s just say Pads isn’t the right person for this job.”

“Oh brother, what are you up to?” you sighed. This was even worse than you had anticipated. If Sirius couldn’t even be bothered, you were sure you would like it even less.

James waggled his eyebrows, “okay, but promise you’ll hear me out before interrupting!”

Your curiosity got the best of you as you mimicked drawing a cross over your heart and plopped down on your bed, ready for the worst.

The boy’s eyes shine. “Heeeere’s the deal. You, me? We date for a few months and --”

“Absolutely not,” you cut him off, but before you could explain exactly why not, James clamps a hand over your mouth.

“Oy! What did we agree on? Hear me out first! It’s fake dating, alright? You don’t need to do it for real -- although I find it highly offensive that you’d reject me so quickly. It’s to make my Lily flower jealous, see? When she sees us together, she’ll realize her true feelings for me! Then we break up, I swoop back in with her, and bam, mission accomplished. It’s as easy as 1, 2, 3.”

You pried his hand off your face and shook your head fervently. “It’s not easy, James. It’s not even remotely plausible! You know we’re friends, that’s it. And why me? Everyone knows we’re always bickering -- heck, we’re doing it right now! There’s no way we’d pass as a couple.”

To your surprise, the boy is not the least bit deterred. “Pretty pleaaaase? There’s no one else that’ll work! Marlene wouldn’t be able to hide this from Lily, and Dorcas doesn’t even speak to me! With anyone else, it’d seem like it came out of nowhere, but you and I? We’re believable.”

You swallow. He knew exactly what he was doing with those puppy dog eyes, and god dammit because it was working. “I’ll think about it,” you finally conclude with a roll of your eyes, and James brightens.

“You’ll come around -- I know you love me, deeeep down inside,” and with that, the Gryffindor practically skips out of your room, leaving you wondering what on earth you had just (half) agreed to.

******

The next day, you headed down to the Great Hall for some breakfast. You were hoping that James had forgotten about it and moved on to his next big scheme, as he usually did, with the rate his gears turned.

But this time? Your hopes had been far too high. They always were with matters regarding Lily.

There was no greeting from James as you sat down. Instead, he looked at you again with those guile-free pools of hazel, and how could you refuse?

You groaned. “You little TWAT. Alright, alright, what’s in it for me?”

The boy beams and wraps an arm over your shoulders, squishing you into his side. “God, you’re the best, Y/N/N, honestly. Have I told you how much I love you?”

“Save it for Lils,” you waved him off. “Now answer me, ‘cause we both know I won’t be doing this for free.”

“Who do you think I am? An amateur?” he scoffed. “I come prepared, of course. How about… your homework, for a month. And I’ll treat you to something on the next Hogsmeade trip.”

You scrunch your eyebrows. “Try again, Prongs. You and I both know I have to help you with your homework, so forgive me for not believing that. And one treat for potentially months of faking this? No can do.”

“Okay, okay, fine. What if I pay for all our ‘dates’ for as long as we’re faking it?” James counters.

You grinned. “Now that’s more like it, Jamesie. We’ll see how you treat a girl.”

James rolled his eyes, “if I’d known that was all it took, we could’ve started planning yesterday!”

Better late than never, I guess. You shrugged and hid a grin.

******

Y/N and James’ Rules for Contractual Dating

1. Do not tell a soul (except Moony and Pads)

2. No actual kissing (HEY how am I supposed to show my affection then??)(I’M NOT SWAYING JAMES. You’re creative, you’ll find another way.)

3. Yes forehead and cheek kisses,, and hugs from behind <3 (The heart is a little excessive, don’t ya think?) (Oh don’t be a downer, love)

“James this is literally so dumb -- can’t we just go with the flow??”

“Do you WANT us to fail?? Suck it up, Y/N/N.

4. At least one date per week (and don’t forget who’s paaaaying!)

5. Do NOT fall in love (As if -- you’re worrying too much, Potter)

Signed,

Y/N Y/L/N James Fleamont Potter

And so, it began.

****** The next day, you headed down to the Great Hall as per normal, but this time, with a certain Gryffindor’s arm slung over your shoulders; much to everyone’s surprise.

You were trying to resist shoving his arm off, and James was absolutely reveling in the attention of course. Only Sirius and Remy were any wiser, Moony sending you a look of sympathy as you sat down. And there was no missing the widening of Lily’s eyes as she took in the scene.

This is going to be hard, you thought…

****** Except, it wasn’t very hard at all.

Over the next month, you and James were inseparable. You were hanging out almost everyday, stuck to each other like glue when you had the same classes. At quidditch games, he’d dedicate his shots to you, and most of the time, they managed to go in! You were certainly one of his biggest supporters, rivaled only, perhaps, by a certain Black. And the first thing James did after every game was run over to give you a hug. You always complained that he was sweaty and stank of it too, but you couldn’t help but hug him back.

Now that you basically spent every waking moment together, you couldn’t help but pay attention to his actions a whole lot more. You saw that way he helped younger students find their ways to class when they got lost and the way he stepped in whenever he noticed any injustice. You also noticed how he thanked the professors after every class and made sure to pick up a butterbeer for McGonagall on every Hogsmeade trip.

It was no wonder he was Head Boy. James was quite possibly the closest anyone could get to having a heart of gold.

And strangely enough, everyone around him was basked in that same light, because James was one of those rare souls who managed to share his shine with all he met. You saw it reflected when he held the door open for you, or when he comforted Sirius after a run-in with his dreadful cousins. And who could forget what he was doing for Moony every full moon?

You couldn’t believe that it had taken you so long to notice.

****** You were lying on a common room couch, reading a new muggle series you had gotten sucked into. In fact, it was so intriguing that you didn’t notice the quidditch captain return from practice. As James took in the scene, your vulnerable form, nestled in a pile of cushions, entirely entranced by the book in your hand, the corners of his mouth lifted. Whether it was a conscious response, no one knew.

And the next thing you knew, an 80kg object was landing on you, and you almost fell off the couch from the impact. You gasped and shielded your face before realizing that the “object” was a boy. A boy with unkempt hair and a pair of round glasses that you’d recognize anywhere.

“James! What in the world?! You’re literally crushing me right now, move, you big lump!” you prompted, your laugh muffled by his hair.

“Nuh uh. You took all the pillows, so I’m just using you as one. I reckon you’re more comfortable anyway,” the boy declines, looking up at you and grinning as he tucked his head into the crook of your neck.

You pulled yourself out enough to breathe, and set down your book. You wrapped an arm around him and ran the other hand through his hair. Oh god, what was happening to you?

****** read part two here! interested in my other works? see my masterlist!

taglist: @kielemarie @ur-local-reality-shifter @msmb @dielgonacoffee @amourtentiaa @malfoy-wife15 @izzyyy-1 @fives-cup-of-coffee @jodibullock1 @iwritesiriusly @cory-was-hexed @slytherclawbitch @mrzweasley @1-800-amortentia @amelialupin @wwandavision

[fluffi]

MY DETENTION BUDDY :: JAY

pairing: jay x gn!reader genre: fluff, badboy!jay, highschool!au, friends-enemies-lovers!au word count: 2k event: for @lovesick-net​​ and (early) jay day 200421 <3 author’s note: simple little one-shot for jay’s birthday (i wont be uploading anything for his actual birthday). i had to speedrun this fic because i kept changing the plot and this hasnt been proofread twice (unlike my other fics) T-T i hope it’ll still work out. warnings: (reader makes one bad decision)

Ring...ring...ring...ring..ring…

Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring

Ringringringringiringringringring.

RIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRRI-SLAM!

The alarm clock stopped its boisterous wailing

10 more minutes. I don’t have to style my hair today.

Thirty minutes passed.

RIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRI- SLAM!

Ugh. I’ll just miss assembly.

RIRIRIIRRIRIRI-

This time, the ringing stopped before he could slam his hand over the alarm clock.

“Jongseong, do you not have school today?” Jay could only make out a bush of black that stood above him as he sat up, dazed and drowsy.

“Yeah, I do. I’m about to get ready. Why?”

“It’s 9 am! You should be at school! At this point, you don’t even have to go anymore.” His mother huffed in disappointment.

It was an exaggeration, but she had a point. School started at eight in the morning. It was already an hour later but he was still sitting in bed.

“I’ll get ready now. 10 minutes. Good to go.” He shooed his mom away, already running to the bathroom to wash up.

“I’m leaving now Jay. You know darn well that I have an important meeting today and I can’t miss it just for you to not get a tardy. Heck, you’re already late! You’re-”

“Mom! I can’t walk to school! It takes too long.” Jay whined as he brushed his teeth, his muffled voice interrupting his mother’s speech.

“Young man, stop interrupting me. I told you a week ago about today’s event and it’s not my fault that my oldest son can’t take care of himself. You’re going to have to take another mode of transport, you’re old enough to deal with this yourself!” With that, his mother stormed out of his room, her feet obnoxiously thumping on the floor.

“I’m also your only son...” Jay muttered. 

Of all days, why did she have to have her meeting today? Monthly evaluations aren’t that important. Dangit, I should’ve been taught how to drive. Jay returned to his rapid multitasking, grabbing his school uniform while washing his face. He didn’t even look twice,

After taking the quickest shower he had ever taken in his entire life and shoving all of his essential (what he determined as essential, at least) belongings into his bag, he opened to door and dashed outside only to be met with…

Rain.

Rain everywhere. Drenching the front yard’s perfectly tended flower garden and creating heaps of watery mud. It was pouring at 9.15 am. There was thunder and occasional flashes of light zooming through the clouds. The city was in shambles.

Not like, shamble, shambles. It was shambles in Jay’s opinion as he groaned and stomped his way through the rain.

Screw school. Screw this stupid rain, screw my alarm clock, screw this-

“Dude, why are you running in the rain? You’re soaked. Are you heading to school?” A pink-haired boy in a red Ferrari shouted from across the street.

Jay sighed in relief, immediately running across the road to said Ferrari. “Choi Yeonjun. You are a life-saver. Could I get a ride real quick? I’ll pay back for engine fees and for soaking the inside of your Ferrari with rainwater.”

“Hop right in, and don’t worry about returning. Let’s have some fun with this baby.” Yeonjun smirked and revved the engine, swerving past cars and buildings like it was a little RPG game.

At this rate, I’ll make it to school in no time.

“Dude, I’m so sorry. I guess you have to walk.”

Just as he thought things were taking a better turn, Yeonjun decides to show off his new driving skills and zooms through roads at a rapid speed, so fast that he crashed the car by a tree. It was a miracle that both of them didn’t get hurt but as far as Jay was concerned, he could worry about that some other time. This was just slowing him down on his long and tedious journey towards his form of hell.

On the bright side, the rain had stopped and the sunshine was back as if nothing had happened.

“I’ll get going to school.” Jay internally groaned and started sprinting in the direction of his school.

“Hey, at least I helped you get closer to school! Didn’t I?” Yeonjun shouted from behind and coyly smiled.

Such a boastful punk, Jay thought. “Whatever, bro!” He turned back and gave his older friend a quick wave before dashing off.

“Park Jongseong! You’re late...again.”

“I’m aware.” Jay didn’t spare his English teacher an eye and slung his backpack over the chair, about to take a seat.

“Stop giving me attitude, I’m your teacher.Why are you tardy for the fourth time this month?”

“Alarm clock.”

“Alarm clock what? Are you afraid to speak up? I don’t see you acting like this in the hallways.”

Jay looked down at his feet and sighed before side-eyeing his teacher. “Overslept, okay? Sir if you could just let me off the hook you would be able to proceed with your Shakespeare nonsense.”

The entire class snickered. It was no secret that Jay loathed Mr. Jung, the English teacher. Who didn’t? Mr. Jung treated every student in school like they were incapable toddlers and it was a wonder that anyone would dare to stand up to his stupid remarks. Jay’s carefree attitude towards his horrible teachers was one of the reasons why he earned so many fangirls.

Not like you were one, of course. You watched as he pulled his chair out and sat next to you out of the three other vacant seats at the back of the class.

Mr. Jung rolled his eyes and continued writing on the blackboard. “Also, Jongseong,” he added, “you’re wearing your school shirt the wrong way round. See you in detention for your tardiness.”

A few of the girls in a few seats in front of him whispered rapidly, although whispering didn’t stop Jay from finding out about their gossip.

“Lol! So much for being the bad boy of our grade. He looks like a wreck today.”

“I know right? I wonder what the other fangirls will think of this. Should we send the pictures to the fan club?”

The second girl giggled. “Yeah, duh. Name it jay-park-wreck-images.”

So much for my reputation. Jay could only roll his eyes as he pulled out his supplies, ignoring the camera clicks coming from the seats in front of him.

“Oh, yay. At least I’ll have a detention buddy now.”

Jay eyed you up and down like your statement was some sort of monstrosity. “Detention? You, detention? Pfft.” He laughed.

“Yeah, Jay. Me, detention. Why are you so happy about it? Glad to be stuck with another girl?”

“What, no-no. You just...don’t seem like the type to be in detention. How’d you get it?”

“This..may be kind of embarrassing, but...” You turned to the side and Jay gasped.

On the sleeve of your uniform was a...rabbit? It wasn’t too obvious as to what the marker doodle was but it was apparent that you had intentionally spent time to draw on it.

“Look, I was bored in assembly this morning and found a spare marker in my pocket! Don’t judge, we all know how bad assembly can be.” You blurted just as Jay was about to ask why you had done what you did.

“You could’ve just drawn on your hand or done something else with the marker.” Jay sighed and shook his head at your dumb decision.

“I was out of my mind, okay? Ugh, Assembly always drives me nuts. I got called out for for the horrendous ink bleed when Mr. Jung saw as I walked into the classroom. He said it ‘didn’t follow school guidelines’.”

“For once, I agree with Mr. Jung. It was a stupid choice, you know? If you didn’t draw on your uniform then you wouldn’t have to go to detention now.”

“Jay Park, the bad boy of school, is telling me to be a rule abider. Biggest twist of the century.” You rolled your eyes.

Jay frowned and turned back at you, losing that little spark in his eyes that he once kept. “I’m not a bad boy you know? I just don’t like the system in place here.”

“As if anyone is going to believe that. Go hang out with another girl of yours. I’m not here to be your toy.”

“People like you are the reason why everyone thinks I’m a bad person. I thought you were different, you know?”

You had been preoccupied with taking notes for class, but now you looked at him with squinted eyes. “Well, I am different. Different as In someone who doesn’t fall for your useless charms. Go suck up to your fangirls or something.”

Jay rolled his eyes and scooted away from you. He thought he had been lucky to meet you, but he guessed not.

You always do this, you idiot. You were so close to making a new friend.

You put your hands in your head and side-eyed Jay, who seemed to be struggling as Mr. Jung blurted out an entire unit’s summary.

The boy hadn’t brought any stationery and was definitely on the wrong page of the textbook. You figured that he was this disheveled from his absolute lack of planning but you still felt bad.

His hair was a mess, it was still damp from the rain before. If only you could help him style it…

Why do I want to touch his hair? That’s weird and gross.

You were so occupied with thinking about Jay that you realized that he was still struggling in class.

Maybe you could make things better.

“I’m sorry.”

Jay was struggling to find the page you guys were on for class when a pencil blocked his view.

“What do you want?” He said as he tried to look past your pencil swinging.

“It’s a pencil for you since I realized that your table is practically empty and you’re going to need something to take notes with for later. Also, it’s page 153, not 53.” You leaned over to help him flip the pages.

“Oh, that makes so much more sense. I was wondering why we were relearning unit 3 when finals aren’t even near yet.”

You raised your eyebrows, looking up at a relieved Jay. “So you do pay attention in class.”

“Of course I do! I’m a student. You should stop using that stereotype on me.” Jay frowned and a tinge of disappointment shadowed his face.

“Right, I know. I’m sorry. I’m trying to work on it, it’s rumors and assumptions that have built up over the past few years and I understand that it shouldn’t get in the way of our friendship.”

“Friendship? We have a friendship?” Jay chuckled and cocked an eyebrow up, teasing you.

Maybe it was that eyebrow slit or the weird tension that was building up between the both of you. You felt your face heat up. “I mean- yeah, friendship. Are we not friends?”

“I don’t know, hun. I thought we were something more.”

“Um...best...friends?”

It was perfect timing as the bell rang and you immediately started packing things into your bag, eyes glued to the clock instead of the amused boy next to you.

Jay laughed, running his hands through his blonde locks and watching as you started running out of class, your eyes occasionally looking back at him to see if he was still staring at you.

“See you in detention!” He called, drawing the attention of your classmates.

Jay Park needs to learn how to shut his mouth. Everyone was now staring at you and you were flustered, embarrassed, shocked, and confused. The weird mix of emotions were driving you nuts. All you could muster was a little nod and you dashed out of there as fast as you could.

“Today we’re going to learn about Murphy’s Law. It is where anything that can go wrong will go wrong.”

“But everything that can work, will work.” Jay raised his hand and added, sparing a glance at you jotting notes in the back of the classroom, oblivious to his reference towards you.

“You’re right Jay. Murphy’s Law works both ways. Reversing it is considered part of science…”

Today morning was a storm (figuratively and literally) and everything seemed to be going wrong for Jay. Murphy’s Law prevails. but there’s always a rainbow after the storm. You were his rainbow and his lucky charm.

2021 © fluffi

[whoistheasshole]

How do I get out of this unsatisfying life I’m living?

Anonymous asks: So the thing is that I feel incredibly stuck - I have all the basics of life which I'm grateful for but also that was my BIG dream as a kid, to get tf out of my parents' house - but now I have that and idk what to do for the rest of my life. Like, if I try those "visualize your future" things I'm just like, "I'd like to sleep for a month, maybe longer" & it feels like I don't really WANT anything so I can't plan, you know? Just flailing here honestly. Pretty tired of it.

I wrote back: I got your question. To pinpoint my answer a little better, can you tell me about your current situation, like how long has it been since you moved out? Which are the things you have in order to your satisfaction? Some vague idea of your age range would also be helpful, but I can work without it too if you’d rather not share.

Anonymous answered: Ah, sorry. I was trying to fit in the character limit & also whenever I think about this my mind just goes flbbbbth. It's been about 5 years? That's about the only thing I'm truly HAPPY about, I'm not thrilled with my social/love life, career, etc & have pretty much been just coasting tbh. I'm almost 30. Thanks for entertaining this.

Alright, thanks for adding some background. I will come at this from different angles and you can pretty much pick and choose what sounds helpful and leave the rest, okay?

First, while there are people who have it all figured out, methodically planning their next career step or fully certain that there is no greater joy than raising a child, there are tons of other people who just, to quote, go „ flbbbbth“ when asked about their next steps or, god forbid, their life plan. I would say I fall in the latter camp, but I don’t mind because I think there is nothing wrong with that. I let myself be guided by the things I need to be happy (more on that later) and by current necessities – if my job becomes shit, I need to find a new job. If a friendship goes sour, I need to end it respectfully. But I couldn’t tell you specific career or personal goals, except...

... let’s talk about the „later“ now.

I’m an organizer, maybe even a worrier, and therefore I like lists. And for that reason I made a list a while ago that I still have and expect to keep for a long time. It is a list of everything that I need to be satisfied with my life. It consists of 29 entries and has three of them checked, though several others could be counted as half-checked. I wrote down everything that came to mind, paying no attention whether it was reasonable or feasible to want. That wasn’t the question.

It covers stuff like a clean flat (not checked), restful sleep (not checked), friends that I see regularly (checked) or a job with purpose (not checked). This list is my guide. Well, generally my needs are my guide, but it can be hard to be aware of your needs sometimes, so I got this list. And if I wonder what I need or want to focus on, I can turn to it and choose one of the entries and see what I can do about it. I can also look over the list every few years and see if things have developed in the right direction. Little progress is no reason to chastise myself, but helpful information to see whether I need to re-direct my focus.

Please note that I wrote „satisfied“, not „happy“. Being happy is a passing emotional state. It is completely normal and okay not to be happy all the time. But quiet satisfaction with where you are or where you are going, that is pretty achievable. It certainly is a process, but an enjoyable one.

This list is not a race and it is not really a to-do list because most of the things I wrote down aren’t easy to accomplish with a single action. They take months and years and, for some items, I can only try and hope it works out some day (see anybody who ever purposely looked for a partner).

So maybe this kind of list could be an exercise for you. Maybe it provides you with some insight, maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it’s not the right point in your life. But if you sit down and the only thing you can come up with is „cry forever“ or „sleep forever“ then, you know, that’s a sign.

Which brings me to my next point: Journaling or automatic writing. This method is especially helpful for those „I feel some kind of way and I couldn’t even tell you how“ moments – so maybe exactly where you are right now. Captain Akward has introduced me to a website called „750 words“ and I’ve used the principle of „morning pages“, though not the website, since then whenever I felt like some emotions were starting to boil over.

I sit down, ideally in the morning, and just barf it all on the (digital) page. There are only two rules: 1) Don’t edit or judge yourself, write everything as it comes to mind (that’s the automatic writing part) and 2) Don’t stop before you’ve reached 750 words. You are not looking to write anything readable or clever or lyrical, you’re looking to get all the weirdness out so you can move on. Repeat this as many days as you feel queasy or weird or confused or angry or sad. Each day, as soon as you’ve reached the 750 words, you can walk away. Heck, you could even delete/burn the document if that feels right. It’s just about giving your thoughts the room they need so you can continue with your day, hopefully feeling somewhat relieved.

While we’re at writing, I also have a question for you: Where is the pressure coming from to „do something with your life“? Is it truly coming from inside you or are there outside factors? Are people in your life asking you when you’ll have kids? Do you live in a culture where it’s expected that everybody does something of note, works certain prestigious jobs? Do you compare yourself to the people around you and feel like you’re „late“?

Maybe mull this over on a leisurely walk or write about it, using the method above. No matter where it’s coming from, the feeling of pressure won’t go away just by knowing its origin, but the knowledge can help you keep it under control. And if you find it is truly your own wish, you will have tools to shape your life according to your needs.

So, next, sleep: Maybe do that?

You wrote "I'd like to sleep for a month, maybe longer". I understand this was half a joke, but also … it was probably more than a joke.

How are your energy levels? How does life feel? Are you trying to jog through jello most of these days?

If we’ve been overachievers or had a tough home life or needed to take care of ourselves pretty early, we can become accustomed to everything being difficult. This feeling and behavior can become a way of life, even when circumstances change and we have a chance to act differently.

Do you feel rested? Do you have regular moments of quiet in your life that let you breathe? If not, this is where I would start. Forget about lists, though morning pages might be a helpful accompanying tool (if they don’t become a task to punish yourself with if you don’t find the energy).

Take some weeks or months, maybe even a year to make rest your priority. You will have to find a way that works for you. Yes there is a lot of clinically proven stuff out there, but you will not see me do yoga or meditate. Though feel free if that’s up your alley. If you love cycling or taking photos or drawing or just plain lying on your bed and staring at the wall, see where you can add more of that to your day. Whatever brings you closer to yourself and makes you feel like you can exhale and stand still for a moment, that’s the way to go. Do this as long as sleeping seems like a fine choice. And for good measure maybe a month longer. You are ready to stop when you cannot wait to do something else goddamnit I’m bored!!! (you might say)

If you are in this picture, please start here. Any kind of life plan, next steps, strategizing, solving of riddles would set you back and perpetuate your exhaustion. Rest is not time wasted, rest is how you get your life back.

If you are in this picture, you will likely find that if you really pull through, if you truly rest, as long and boring or even scary as it may be, the other questions will probably have an intuitive answer afterwards. Not like „this is my 20-year career plan“, but „I feel like doing x this week“. And that is enough. Because you won’t need to strain to hear your needs through the fog of exhaustion anymore.

Finally, some practical information and links for when you do have the energy and inclination to tackle your job and social life. I am not saying you need to change anything if that’s not what you want to focus on. These are just some tips, in case they become relevant.

For your social life, I recommend what others have recommended before me: Pick an activity that you do with other people and stick with it long enough to become a familiar face, see also here and here (yes, meeting gay people is similar to meeting other people). If you try out new stuff, go there at least 5 or 6 times before you decide it’s not for you – of course assuming nothing bad is coming up like racist or abusive people in the group. Shop around if the first group/activity doesn’t work for you until you find something that you’d like to do permanently. Maybe you’ll gain some friends, maybe you’ll find a romantic opportunity. In any case, if it’s something fun that you like to do anyway, you will have found an outlet with a social group attached. It is absolutely not as easy right now, with Covid and all, but if nothing outdoors-y comes to mind, you could also use this time to brainstorm what sounds like fun for when things are safer again.

Of course you can also look at opportunities online, like Discord servers, online interest groups etc but I do understand if that’s just not appealing right now. I am certainly over sitting in front of a screen.

To round this up, don’t sneeze at contacts that you already have. Are there acquaintances, friends of friends, colleagues, family members who you would like to get to know better? Then go do that! Suggest a time and place to meet up and see how they react. Say yes to the potential friends.

Speaking of which...

The Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes might also be interesting. Sure, it’s a little pop culture positive thinking kinda stuff, but I did like the impulse it gave me to consider when I say no to opportunities out of anxiety or worry. It made me accept some social invitations from colleagues (… in the before times) that I would not have otherwise considered. I did not gain life-long friends, but I did learn another valuable info: That my FOMO wasn’t justified for these events ;)

It also lead me to the decision to do one new thing every month – visit a new place or try a new activity or cook a new food. If the concept sounds appealing, just think about what sounds interesting and achievable to you.

And finally, the advice blog recommendations that I’ll always have. For social life, love life, and general life planning turmoil: Captain Awkward. For everything job-related, including how to write a good cover letter or interview well and, of course, how to get out of the dreaded current job you have: Ask A Manager.

To sum it up:

1) Figure out if you even have the energy to tackle any of this right now.

2) Figure out your pillars for a satisfying life – nothing big and shiny, just … basic needs, wishes, social needs.

3) When you feel like it, pick what you want to tackle next and see where it leads you.

4) Stay flexible. This is your life and it’s okay to go where it takes you, even if it doesn’t look „cool“ or „impressive“ from the outside. All you need is to make it your own.

And if you want to, let me know how it goes some time. :)

[a-second-chance-su-au]

Update:

Just to make sure I don't fall off the face of the Earth again, I'm gonna let y'all know what's going on.

Important update on the DTIYS below, too! Please at least read that bit!

I don't know if I can get a new page done in time by Friday. I am jobhunting (kind of against my will), depressed, and stressed. I think I'm on the tail end of it now, but the jobhunting is getting more intense so we'll see what happens.

I AM still drawing though! It's just not ASC. Go follow @dimonds456-art to see all of my art, SU related or otherwise. Lately I've been doing a lot of Undertale, but that's not all folks lol. Also my main account is @dimonds456 so you know for a fact if I died or not lmao.

I'm NOT stopping this comic. It is NOT on hiatus. I will update once I'm ready. I usually make new pages go live at 10 AM for me, but even doing that has put a mental barrier in my head that if I miss that time, I have to wait until next week. So from here on out, it's just Friday, whenever I can, not Friday at 10.

I've been suffering from an outside-influence burnout from drawing, writing, and playing music. I haven't been able to be creative recently up until a few days ago, when I started building a thing (or multiple things) in Minecraft lol. Plus the odd sketchdump here and there, but usually I've had to force myself to begin those. Once I got going there was no stopping me, but it was getting over that first hurdle.

I don't have the mental capacity to do ASC right now. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe in a few days. But right now, as of June 3, 2021 at 12:55 AM (I am going to bed as soon as I post this, don't worry), I do not. And I haven't for a few days.

~~

VVV This is the DTIYS bit, read this VVV

As for the DTIYS, I'm going to extend the deadline a bit. You have until June 10- one week from now. I am not looking for "art skills" in this challenge, I am looking for creativity.

I don't care if your lines are shaky. I don't care if the body proportions are weird. I don't care what "skill level" you think you are at. That's not what I'm judging. I want you to take my idea and run with it. Don't compare your art to other entries.

Heck, if you wanted to write a short story about it, go for it! Writing is a form of art, and would count!

Go nuts! This is about having fun, not about going "well so-and-so's art looks way better than mine, so why even try?" That's not having fun, and I'm not going to judge on your artistic capabilities. I'm judging on how you take my idea and run with it. If you just straight copy it, that's fine, too! I'm not saying to turn the pic into a theme park or anything, just that this isn't about "talent." It's about being creative and having fun.

Okay, thank you for reading. Click here to go back and view the original post with all the rules!

^^^ DTIYS part over, thank you for reading ^^^

~~

That just about sums it up. In the meanwhile, I'm thinking about doing some old art requests or answering asks. I might bring The Ask Chair back for a bit, we'll see!

OH! One last thing! For this Pride month, I want to do some Gay Art™, and wanted to open a thing. Send me a character, and I'll tell you my headcanons for them in the LGBT+ community! I might even draw them if I'm feeling up for it, but that's not a guarantee for my own mental sanity aha. But I will be making Gay Art™, that's a promise lol. It will be anything from just headcanon shots like above to poly relationships *cough* greg-rose-pearl-bismuth *cough*.

Happy Pride month, from people who know exactly who they are, to questioning, to closeted, to afraid, to chill, and to people who haven't realized that they might be LGBT+ yet. We're all valid, and we deserve to shine. <3

I'll shut up now and I'm going to bed lmao.

[shadow--writer]

Hello there! I was wondering if you could headcanon a modern AU with Arsa, Julian, and Muriel being in their freshman year of high school and an older!MC (like, junior year) defending them from bullies, so the boys gain a massive crush on the MC but don’t say anything about their said crush until they find MC being bullied and just go “How dare they bully my future spouse!” Fluffy confession afterwards.

👀👀👀👀 why hello there. More modern au stuff? Heck yes this is my jam!

I hope you don’t mind me tweaking this a little bit for the guys + the beautiful Asra (who is non-binary so no gendered terms for this beautiful person! Just a reminder ^^ yes I use they/them and he/him interchangeably like the chaos demon I am it’s what Asra would’ve wanted) to be new in the High School but they’re all Juniors ^^ 

(sorry Freshmen x upperclassmen feels a little gross since Freshmen are right out of middle school, just feels weird to write so I aged em up a bit!)

I really did go bezerk today so much writing got done! I’m in class Wednesdays and Thursdays so nothing gets done haha :,) but today I got two things done! Requests are open check out my pinned post!

Also I went bonkers on these headcanons lmao enjoy! 

Julian, Asra, Muriel x MC highschool au

~~~~

Julian

He’s new to your school and in your human anatomy class (along with your theatre and art class)

He’s very shy at first 

Once he opens up he’s loud and the classclown

But uhhh some kids aren’t too happy with him gaining as much attention and love as you are

After class during your lunch period a group of kids go after him, taking his stuff

When they come across his notes on anatomy (and more science notes) and when they find his sketchbook things go from bad to worse

Julian is almost in tears when they laugh at him, tearing up his notes and his drawings

But he can’t cry, he can’t be going around school known as the kid who cried over this

He’s taller than these kids but they move faster, he seems like a calf who just seemed to walk chasing after them

You’ve had enough of this group of kids. They go after every new person and you’ve had it up to here with them

“GIVE HIM HIS STUFF BACK!”

Julian falls for you hard and fast, watching you chase after them, even getting into a fight with one

You got pretty beat up, cut your lip and you’re bruising. Since he wants to be a doctor and he’s pretty good with his hands and stuff he patches you up

You look so cool and badass wiping the blood off the corner of your mouth he could swoon right then and there

Don’t worry he takes you to the nurse

He now has the BIGGEST crush on you. Like it is huge

He draws you now, little doodles to help with face structure and anatomy 

He keeps drawing you after you got into a fight, he just loves how badass and amazing you looked

He’ll start to get closer to you after that, and you find out he’s actually really funny and cool

One day the bullies come back for a round two

This time Julian is ready, he’s been at this school for months he can deal with these guys now

They corner you two after school (y’all are probably going out to get ice cream with some more friends)

One tries to come at you but Julian punches them accidently yelling “STAY AWAY FROM THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!”

You’re...you’re shocked

Everyone is shocked

Julian is mortified. 

After you two scare the bullies away he mumbles his way through an apology and how that was wrong of him to say and it was an accident

But you thought it was cute

And you kind of like him too. .....you like him a lot 

You kiss his cheek to get him to stop rambling with a small smile. “I like you a lot.”

He grins and picks you up in a hug. “Really really?!”

More giggles. “Yes really really!”

He’ll kiss you so hard your cheeks squish and your teeth clash together 

Ice cream and homework can wait

Asra

Asra is a very shy person to start off with 

Doesn’t make friends very easily, you have to come to him first 

But once he gets drawn out of his shell he’s outgoing and fun

With bring his tarot cards in to do readings during lunch. The other kids love it it’s very fun

But there’s a group of people who don’t like him or his cards at all

So they corner him after school and take his cards 

Now tarot cards are expensive (I say this from experience of buying a deck)

So he’s in tears by the time they’re done tearing some of the cards up 

You’re on your way home from school when you see it happening 

Without even thinking you charge into the fray, yelling at the bullies and yanking the cards out of their hands

You bite the hand of one of the bullies who wasn’t letting go

They hurl insults at you and Asra as they walk away leaving the two of you with the mess of torn up cards

The cards that did survive were the Fool, the Magician and the Lovers

Asra is still crying over the loss of most of his other cards. He was very attached to them and judging by their worn corners and faded art he had them for a while

You offer to take him to buy some new ones

He jolts up to look at you, his tears startled away.

“O-Oh MC you don’t h-have to do that...I’ll be okay...”

You insist, and finally he gives in

They pick out a deck that he does admit is way prettier than his old one (this deck being the deck in the game)

You buy it and suddenly it has way more value to him 

He watched you fight for his cards and him

So he starts to fall for you 

You being oblivious but a sweetheart, befriend him and you two become very close

He only does tarot readings for your close friend group now

He doesn’t want to risk the deck you gave to him

One day you two are walking home to do homework and hang out 

But the bully you bit corners you and starts yelling 

Apparently they were embarrassed over the fact you bit them and now there’s a joke about how they got taken down by someone who bit them

So they want to get you back to regain their honour 

Asra sees and just heckin

Y E E T S

their backpack at them yelling: “IF YOU TOUCH MY CRUSH I’LL SIC MY SNAKE ON YOU”

They fall to the ground, Asra swipes the bag up and the two of you book it

You’re laughing really hard and he wonders why

Then you tell him about confessionsino and he about dies on the side of the road

Wheezing from being out of breath and laughing you kiss him 

“I like you too, snake lover.”

Muriel

Muriel is shy before and after you get to know him. He’s the new kid so you expect it but he never opens up

He no talk

Nope nope no he’s very tight lipped and will blush whenever he gets called on

He gets bullied for being too shy

Like looking at the size of him he should be on the football team but no he volunteers at the animal shelter and is in the animal science club

I’m sorry but hear me out here: Muriel with thick black glasses (I don’t make the rules or take critique)

He gets cornered by some of the spots teams trying to pressure him into joining during lunch 

He doesn’t want to 

Things get a little violent

You’re eating nearby, listening to music and trying to get some Zoology work done

Sounds of a scuffle get your attention, you’re a little pissed off since you want to get some work done in peace

Then you see the new kid (Muriel) getting roughed around by some of the sports kids

Angrily, you get to your feet and stomp over to them, yelling at them to stop what they were doing

They don’t listen to you and Muriel’s glasses get broken (someone steps on them)

You start fighting them, yelling at them to leave Muriel alone

Finally after a bit they leave, spitting on the ground at your feet

You yell after them (probably calling them lowlife lizard skin cowards) hands trembling with your anger

Taking a deep breath you turn to Muriel, helping him pick up his stuff

When he sees his glasses in pieces he nearly cries

You pack his bag, asking softly if it would be okay if you hugged him 

He nods slowly, and you wrap your arms around him, letting him cry silently into your shoulder

You stick near him after that, becoming his friend and fierce protector 

He gets this huge crush on you soon after that

Poor baby doesn’t know what to do 

He helps you out with your Zoology homework and you listen as he goes on about the dogs in the shelter he works on

You develop a crush on him after that

One day the sports kids come back for a round two after school 

Muriel is in the bathroom and you told him you’d be waiting in the courtyard

The sports kids were going for Muriel but seeing you alone was too good an opportunity to pass up

They start pushing you around and when Muriel comes out to see them messing with you he gets so angry

Seeing this 6′5 (he grows taller by the end of the year) broad kid walk towards them scares the heck outta the sports kids 

But they don’t back off until he stands over them, eyes dark with anger

“Leave my friend and crush alone,” he snaps

They scurry off soon after that

You’re standing there shocked at what he said

When he realizes what he says he melts down

You jump into his arms in a hug and laugh 

“You’re my crush too!”

He’s very shocked, you tenderly kiss him with another smile

You go to his house, hand in hand, talking about dogs, laughing, and blushing.

Maybe moving schools wasn’t so bad.

[biaswreckingfics]

No Limits: Part 12

Author: biaswreckingfics

Genre: Mafia AU - Warnings? Everything that goes on in a mafia au

Word Count: 2.4k

Previous Chapter

Sehun's POV

He stared blankly at the water as he tried not to let his nervous thoughts consume him. The sound of the waves crashing onto the shore, and the slight breeze that rustled his jacket, helped calm his racing heart while he waited for EXO to show up.

He did everything he could to make sure that he wasn't followed, especially since he didn't know who or how many members of EXO would be meeting up with him today. Jaesuk helped give him a cover story, telling Minho that he needed a shipment picked up from some boat that was coming in this afternoon. Sehun didn't ask questions when Jaesuk told him about his idea. Instead, he gratefully accepted Jae's help, and luckily for both of them, Minho believed the made-up scenario.

Sehun had truly lucked out when the Baem paired him up with Jaesuk. They just so happened to stick him with the one member that was ready to bring them their downfall. To say Sehun was shocked when he found out was an understatement, but it turns out, confronting Jaesuk that day was one of the best things Sehun had ever done.

"What else do you know?"

"What else do you?" Jaesuk asks him cautiously.

Sehun was nervous, but he had already made the first move, so he might as well dive in headfirst.

"I know I'm not a Baem member..." Jaesuk lets out a hum of acknowledgment but otherwise stays silent. "...And I know I'm a member of EXO."

At the mention of EXO, Jaesuk quickly scans their surroundings. He checks to see if anyone was within earshot before looking back at Sehun. "Took you long enough."

Sehun freezes at his words. Surely he had heard him wrong. There was no way Jaesuk was waiting for him to realize he was a part of EXO, right?

"What?" Sehun asks the other man with bewilderment.

"I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to figure it out."

Sehun stares at Jaesuk dumbfoundedly. What the heck was happening right now? Why was Jaesuk so willingly discussing this with him? Why was he waiting for him to realize the truth about who he was?

"Are your memories back?" Jaesuk curiously asks. When Sehun shakes his head no, Jae's brows furrow. "How did you figure it out then?"

Sehun debated if it was smart to tell him. He still didn't know what the man's intentions were, but Sehun mostly trusted Jaesuk. Maybe that was stupid of him, but his gut told him it was the right thing to do.

Sehun thought about it for another moment before deciding. He was going to tell him, but he was going to leave you out of it. EXO was one thing, but the Baem still wanted you for leverage.

"I found a way to get into contact with them... I think I'll leave it at that for now, though."

Jaesuk studies his face before nodding. "Smart. There are not many people you can trust around here."

"Are you going to tell them I know?" Sehun cautiously asks, not even realizing he was holding his breath.

"No." He responds, surprising Sehun for the third time tonight. "You know... I actually like you, Sehun. You're kind of cold, but that's to be expected... If this were a different world, I think the two of us would've caused a lot of trouble together."

Sehun's mouth drops open at the compliment, and he quickly shuts it. Mafia men weren't supposed to be emotional or sentimental. At least, they weren't supposed to show it.

"Now what?"

Jaesuk grins mischievously at him. "Now, I'm going to help you get the fuck out of here."

Sehun hears movement behind him, drawing him back into the present. When he turns, he's met with four figures. You and three men who looked like they were seeing a ghost. Which, if Sehun thought about it, they kind of were.

Sehun nervously swallows before taking the first step toward you.

Y/N's POV

You immediately notice the shocked silence around you as Sehun cautiously approaches the group. The younger man offers you a small smile while his eyes dart around the other group members. Once he's within five feet of you, he stops.

You glance at the men around you, taking in Chanyeol's frozen state while you do. Jongdae's eyes curiously look Sehun up and down, while Junmyeon takes a step toward Sehun before stopping himself. If you had to guess, your brother wanted to see if the man in front of him was truly there, or if his eyes were playing tricks on him.

Finally, Junmyeon breaks the silence with a sad voice. "I'd hug you right now, Sehun, but I don't think you know who I am."

Sehun takes in the leader's words, and you can see him trying to carefully choose his. Gently, he says, "I know who you are... I just don't remember who you are to me..."

"So, it's true," Jongdae breathes. "Your memory is gone."

Sehun nods in thought. "Mostly. I'm remembering little things here and there, obviously," looking pointedly around at the location he had chosen, "but the majority of it is gone."

"How did you end up with the Baem... and what made you contact us?" Your brother asks. He tried to sound curious, but you wondered if this was his way of testing Sehun to see where his loyalties lie.

Sehun launches into his story of waking up at the warehouse and the Baem finding him there and claiming he was one of their own. He told the group how he felt wrong while he was with them and like he wasn't supposed to be there. How he felt connected to EXO and when he overheard the Baem's plan of killing him once he got his memories back. Sehun spilled everything like he hadn't had anyone to talk to in months.

You couldn't imagine how terrified he had been. How scary it would be to wake up in a wrecked warehouse and not being able to remember who you were or how you even got there. Then spending time with a mafia group when you know their plan is to off you the second they find you useless. Although, you could relate to the last one a little, considering you had no idea what EXO's intentions were when you came to them.

"Well, I'm relieved you are alive and okay... We all are." Jongdae slowly says while he fidgets with the zipper on his jacket. It was clear he didn't like being away from his surveillance equipment for too long and wanted to go back to the vehicle. "Now that I've seen you with my own eyes. I've got to get back and make sure everything is still okay."

As Jongdae walks away, Junmyeon immediately starts telling Sehun that they're going to take him back to EXO. That it was time for Sehun to come home with them, but you aren't surprised when the younger man quickly refuses the idea. He had refused you when you tried to get him to come home the day you saw him too.

"Why?” Junmyeon asks in bewilderment, making Sehun shrug.

"This may sound crazy, but... I feel like there's something I still need to do. I don't know what, but it's the same feeling that I got when I knew I had to contact you. Also, I want to take the Baem down for good."

You run Sehun's words through your mind and try to figure out what it would be that Sehun felt like he had to do. Sehun was no fan of the Baem, especially after they killed his cousin, but what could he do from within Baem territory that he couldn't do from EXO's compound?

"Well, that's something we all want," your brother assures him. "That information you gave us has been incredibly useful. We've already got the plan forming, and, let's just say, it'll be over soon... Especially if we can get a little help from the inside."

You had stayed back while the boys spoke with Sehun since this was their first time seeing him in months, and you already had. Now that they were speaking about the plan against the Baem, you felt like it was time to join the conversation.

"Sehun... Have you seen the leaders at all? Two of them were able to escape the first time we attacked... We need to find them before we can put the plan into motion."

Sehun pauses at your words and looks back at you with wide eyes. "That's it. That's what I need to do."

You and Junmyeon share a look, wondering if you were helping Sehun remember something.

"I'll find the leaders who escaped while I still have a chance, and then I'll come back to EXO."

Junmyeon looks like he wants to object before he sighs and lets it go. "Don't do anything that's going to put yourself into danger."

"I have someone inside who can help me. Don't worry."

You try to hide the shock you feel at his words, but it was too difficult, and you knew it was written all over your face. How could Sehun willingly work with your enemy? "A Baem member?"

"I trust him," Sehun nods, looking back and forth between you and your brother and taking in your reactions. "So, please trust me."

Junmyeon must've been feeling the same way you were, but he was having a little more difficulty attempting to hide it than you were. The man looked like he was having an aneurism. "You're... okay... okay..."

You quickly bring your hand up to rub your brother's back and calm him down at the thought of Sehun trusting a Baem member. "If you have someone you can trust... Good. Use them."

The slight breeze pushes your hair into your face, and you flip it back with the shake of your head. That's when you realize you had forgotten Chanyeol was even there. The tall man still stood next to you but was a complete frozen statue. You take in his shaken appearance and ghostly pale face before Sehun interrupts your observation.

"I'm sorry for... strangling... you," he awkwardly tells you.

You look back at him, startled that he would randomly say that, and wave him off with an "it's fine" before your brother can step in and say anything about it. Instead, you bring your focus back to Chanyeol. Now was his time to talk to Sehun, and he was either in shock or frozen in terror.

You look back at Sehun to see that his focus had also finally fallen on the statue of a man. All your mind could do was wonder if Sehun knew they were cousins or if he knew how close they were.

Noticing the silence, Chanyeol blinks a couple times before looking between the three of you. When he realizes he's the object of everyone's attention, his eyes widen and snap toward you in panic. He opens his mouth a couple times like he wants to say something, but nothing comes out. His eyes darting between you and Sehun in the process.

Sehun clearly notices the awkwardness of the other man and in a quiet voice, asks, "Are we close?"

That was all it took for Chanyeol to lose it. Tears immediately begin freefalling down his face, while his legs give out on him, and he drops down to the sand.

The moment causes both you and Junmyeon to freeze, while Sehun looks wildly between the three of you. He quickly mumbles out an apology to the man now losing it at his feet, shock taking over his features at the situation. You take a step toward Chanyeol, but he quickly shakes his head once he sees the movement, so you stay still.

"You're cousins. Well... more like brothers," Junmyeon tells Sehun. "The two of you have been through a lot together. More than most."

Sehun slowly nods as confusion and sadness battle for dominance on his face. How horrible it must be to watch someone who deeply cared for you crumble into pieces because you had no idea who they were? Sehun sways a little on his feet like he was trying to decide if he should comfort this stranger or if that would make it worse. His phone suddenly rings, distracting all of you and even quieting Chanyeol down.

Sehun quickly pulls his phone out and turns away from the scene while Junmyeon takes the opportunity to go over to Chanyeol and help him up. When he attempts to grab his arms and bring him to his feet, Chanyeol pushes him off, making Junmyeon stumble in the sand. Your brother sighs and quickly gives up, knowing he'll get nowhere.

Chanyeol tries to hide a couple sniffles as he stands up from his kneeling position, but they were still audible. Sehun hangs up his phone, but you knew he had seen the entire dilemma between Chanyeol and Junmyeon from his peripheral vision. He furrows his eyebrows, telling you he took in the information but didn't know how to process it.

"I need to go..." He pauses before pointing between the two men. "But whatever is happening between the two of you, you need to work it out and get it to-fucking-gether. We all need to be on the same page when we take the Baem down, or else we go down with them."

Sehun turns and walks away, leaving those as his parting words. You stifle a laugh once you realize the youngest just basically told the leader and his cousin to stop acting like children. You look between the two men and see the sheepish and guilty looks on their faces. Sehun may not remember anything, but he certainly still had his "sassy, don't care" attitude.

Chanyeol lets out a small laugh in disbelief while he watches Sehun walk away. A small smile grows on Junmyeon's face when he hears Chanyeol's laughter, even though the younger man had just pushed him off when he was trying to help. The next words that came out of Chanyeol's mouth had relief flowing through you too.

"That was such a Sehun thing to say."

Tagging: @knjkitten​​ @kpopserene​​ @multifandombxxch​​ @tashaxvamp​​ @kpop---scenarios​​ @bhyunni​​ @chanyeolismybaby​​ @flaming-laboob​​ @taetaeeyong​​ @lilbitoflyssa​​ @misstressporkchoppp​​ @hoseok-wang​​ @spiltkpop​​ @isha454 @depuis2mille​​ @marovekian1​​ @ladylynae​ @abby8451 @lynniev​​ @insta1010​​ @sawadabegum @avxngxrrogxrs​​ @equesasprokishi @imstuckinafictionaluniverse​​ @layisanangel​​ @mongryong-the-corgi​ @overthelamebowz​​ @lizbether01​ @thatanonymousgirl-as14​​ @nothingbutadeadesceane​​ @kim-ji-hyeons-world​​ @suhappysuho​​ @futuremrspcy​​ @lovebuginlove​​ @skylions-den​​ @precious-seungwooya​ @softysuho​ @kuppyjiminie​ @blushinyouth​ @bat-shark-repellant​ @vickylamore​ @heartshapedenchiladas​ @cardtak​ @tanithrea​ @wooya1224​ @multifanstuff​ @hyuniebaby​ @sehunnies-hunnie96​ @endzii23​ @kkpoptrashhh​ @mayzerofour @ries-universe

[sleepysailorghost]

Arcade wasn't sure what he expected when the Courier asked him to accompany them. They hadn't given a name, only said they were a Courier. It wasn't much to go on, but the Courier had looked up at him with big eyes. And for some reason, it didn't sound all that crazy to venture beyond the fort with them, a natural stanger.

They had listened so reverently when Julie spoke. They had fulfilled any job asked of them by the Followers. Certainly, if they harbored ill will towards the Followers, they would have gotten to their revenge before now.

He had asked for their name, if only to be polite.

"I don't have one. Courier or Six is fine, if you'd like."

"You don't have a name?"

"I guess I probably did once, but I don't remember any more. I just remember the man in the checkered coat- an 18-carat run of bad luck-and then waking up in Doc Mitchell's house. Maybe that man knows who I was. I don't know."

"That doesn't bother you, not having a past?"

"No, not really." The Courier leaned back. "I'm just me. Sure, I can't look back on the road behind me, but I can look forward."

"Interesting. Are you going to look for the man in the checkered coat?"

"I don't know. I guess I could. I'm supposed to, because he stole something from me and shot me in the head."

"Wait, he shot you in the head?"

"Yeah, that's why I don't remember much. It messed with my head too."

"Well, yeah. Getting shot in the head would do that."

"Oh, wait, I do have one hint to who I might have been." The courier starts to undo the many closures of their armor, like a fire's been lit under them. "What do you make of this?"

The Courier drops their armor clumsily on the floor, and then goofily flexes. He doesn't really know what they're refering to, but then he sees the poorly-done tattoo on their upper arm. It's a ring of roses and thorns that raps under their bicep. Despite being very mediocre, it is legible and in color.

"Huh." Tattoos aren't really unique, but it is something. "Maybe your name is Rose?"

"Maybe. It doesn't sound right."

"Maybe you just need to try it out for a while, wear it in." He's trying to help, but the Courier is a near stranger to him. "Or, if you'd like, I could arrange for you to see Dr. Usa-"

"No thanks. Don't want to take up her time." The refusal was off faster than a bullet from a sixgun. "If you're ready to go, so am I."

"Sure." He agreed. It wasn't really healthy of the Courier to act out against the idea of visiting the clinic, but it wasn't something he could force them into. At least, not as a near stranger.

This turned out to be one of the few times the Courier's former-NCR sniper friend wasn't travelling with them. He probably wouldn't have decided to go with the Courier if he had known they had company. Still, it isn't all that bad, even if he feels a little crowded with the Courier, their robot pet ED-E (he hates that thing), the King's robot-dog, the sniper, and the Remnant medical researcher. One more person, and the Courier will have a small army.

Not that the Courier normally has all of them traveling together at once. It's too noticeable, draws too much attention. It might even sound like a joke: an Enclave eyebot, a police cyber dog, an amnesiac Courier, a grouchy NCR sniper, and a medical researcher walk in to a bar...

It makes the Courier happy to travel with him, so he does it on occasion. Those occassions become a lot more frequent after they return from a place they call the "Big Empty".

That had been months ago. Now, he felt like he knew the Courier. Not that he wasn't surprised by the Courier-he certainly was. But he was familiar with the Courier now.

It was a dangerous sort of thing, that familiarity. He was even starting to think that perhaps it would be a good idea to let them in on his own origins.

And he knew how the Courier felt about him.

Leaning against his side while they sat at a fire, the Courier's hands stripping a defeated foe's weapon, they had muttered something.

"Sorry, say again?" Arcade responded. Most of the time, it was just complaints about bent springs or whatever, more to themselves than to him.

The Courier's hands stopped, laying the weapon on the ground.

"You're my brother, Arcade." The Courier says, and then continues before Arcade could interrupt. "Not by blood. Or hell, maybe you are. It's not like I'd remember. Course you are a heck of a lot taller than I am...maybe the tall gene skipped me."

Arcade doesn't say anything, attempting to process what the Courier was trying to tell him.

"No, we're not related by blood." He agrees, although he has no real way to confirm it without knowing the Courier's identity.

"I know." The Courier put their hand up to their chest. "I just...well, I know you're my brother. I, uhh, care about you."

Arcade didn't know what to say about that. It really did feel like it had come out of nowhere to him. A few weeks later, the Courier had gone running off to a place that might have been their home.

Antietam is walking by his side now, but their gaze is drawn over to an old poster. The pre-war store was filled with advertisements for many different products, from Sugar-Bombs to the newest products from Rob-Co.

Shelves, long ransacked and destroyed, have created something of a maze. The laminate tiling on the floor has become loose after centuries of neglect. Decorations littering the area would mark this location as a raider base at some point.

His friend doesn't seem to notice any of that, moving closer to a central display that might have been made of stacked shoeboxes once. Now, the boxes lay in a crumpled heap.

"Antietam, wait-" He says, and the courier stops.

"Yeah? Do you need something?"

"You need to be more careful! This could be a trap."

"I don't think it is. I'm pretty good at finding traps and I don't see any tripwires or bear traps. I've stepped in enough of those."

"Of course you wouldn't see them! It's a mess in here."

"I'm not going far. I just wanna see if I can find some of those."The Courier pointed at an advertisement. It was of a girl with little wheels on her shoes, looking over her shoulder as she spun away. Under the picture, it read "Roll with the punches with Roller-Ray skates!".

"Do you..need those?"

"Well, no. I just think they would be cool. Just rollin around town."

"I'll go with them." Boone added, if only so he could keep an eye on them.

"Yeah, plus ED-E's sensors haven't picked up on anything. I can handle myself while looking for skates, Arcade."

On that note, the Courier and Boone go to pick through the rubble. When they returned, Antietam raised their arm triumphantly.

"We found them! A little dinged up, but I can fix that. C'mon, lets go outside to try them!" With the hand not holding their skates, Antietam grabbed at Arcade's sleeve.

"Okay, okay." He said, because Antietam's enthusiasm for things was infectious sometimes. They exited the store, entering that had once been a parking lot. Rusted-through cars sat abandoned and the sun hung low in the sky.

Antietam dropped to the floor, strapping on their skates. They were metal and fit awkwardly with their combat boots and spurs. Awkwardly, like a baby radstag on ice, the Courier stood up.

"Okay,so I just." The Courier lifted one leg as if to take a step. Their balance was offset by the movement. Next to him, Arcade saw Boone move to catch the Courier if they fell, but the Courier braced themselves on a car instead.

They took a few more awkward steps.

"Yeah, I think I'm getting the hang of this." Their movements were jerky, but in time, perhaps they'd be alright at it.

Then they hit a skid in the destroyed asphalt and took a spill. Their left side collided hard with a rusted shell.

"Ouch." they groaned, and then collapsed onto the parking lot. "I'm just gonna rest here for a second."

Arcade laughed a little, and then helpfully whined about the sun.

"Alright, alright. Okay, getting up." The Courier pushed up from the asphalt with both hands, rising from their crumpled mass.

"Nothing broken?" Arcade asked, seeing Antietam avoid putting too much weight on their left side.

"No, probably just bruised." They replied, but that was what Arcade had expected. They were still extremely hesitant to be medically examined, even if it meant concealing and ignoring injuries. It stung Arcade-someone who the Courier allegedly loved like a brother-to be held at arms' length. That being said, he couldn't be upset with them either. The Courier had suffered greatly and been stripped of agency by doctors. It was a mark of pride that Antietam trusted him.

Actually, he could still be angry with them for concealing injuries.

The sun was beating down as steadily as it always did in the Mojave. A bead of sweat formed on Arcade's neck.

"Oh shoot." The Courier murmured, looking over their hands. They wore fingerless gloves, and a pip-boy on one arm. Arcade examined the injury. It would be a lot of work if the Courier came down with tetnus. "It's just a scrape, Arcade."

"It's not just a scrape. It's dirty and could get infected."

"Hottest part of the days coming up. We should wait it out in the store." Boone added, helpfully.

"C'mon, listen to your big brother, ok?" Arcade tried with a smile. The Courier looked up at him with their wide brown eyes.

Arcade was not above emotional manipulation.

Half a year ago, if someone told him that he was going to play big brother to a Courier who knew nothing about their past and hated doctors, he'd have likely sent them to see Dr. Usanagi.

The Courier ran their gloved hand through their short white hair. It fluffed up their bangs (despite the pin staying in place) and revealed the twin scars on their forehead and the surgical scar that ran around their skull.

"Okay." The Courier responded, sticking their wrist out to him for treatment.

"Oh, that's a nasty cut." he said, "Let's head inside so we can get this treated.:

In the end, even if the Courier was a hassle sometimes, he was glad to be their brother. He was turning into such a sap.

[all0nsyidjits]

Guess I'm going to out myself here just a bit. I'm a Lokean. In fact I'm a Godspouse have been since July of 2011. I came to realize who the imaginary friend I had as a kid who never really went away was via pop culture. Before you roll your eyes and dismiss me as a Marvel Loki fangirl let me explain. I didn't fall in love with Tom Hiddleston or his version of Loki. In fact a whole other fandom brought me to Loki. See I'm a fan of the show Supernatural and a favorite character was Gabriel who starts off as the Trickster then it is revealed that he is really the archangel Gabriel who skipped out of heaven and hid his true identity by pretending to be a trickster god, Loki to be exact. I wanted to write a fanfiction about Gabriel's time posing as Loki but I knew shit all about Norse mythology aside from the names of some of the Gods and Godessess. So I started researching and reading the lore and by accident stumbled across a few Lokean blogs. Shortly after Loki showed up and I proceeded to start to question my sanity. I'd gotten into Wicca in my early teens so I had some concept of Pagan deities and all things woo. Still having a god show up and just want to hang out and talk freaked me right the heck out. When he started flirting I was sure I'd completely lost my shit. Slowly he calmed me down and earned my trust. I found others who had been His for a long time and they helped me navigate this new relationship.

Then the Thor movies came out and suddenly everytime I went online there was a new Lokean Godspouse. Loki is not one to waste free PR I guess. I stayed active in the community for awhile but then the cattiness of some in the community made me decide to go solitary. Years passed I rarely missed the community. Loki and I just did our own thing. Sometimes Loki would be gone for some pretty long stretches. Still he was here and things were good.

Then 2020 happened. Look in all honesty I can be a bit of an introvert. I tend to withdraw from people if I sense to much conflict or tension. It's not so much my true nature but more a trauma response to withdraw. My childhood was well complicated. But I'm getting off track here what I mean to say is 2020 was a really shitty year for me and my family. In June I cought Covid 19 I never got all that sick, but the body aches and fatigue never quite went away. Then at the end of July my husband who is diabetic and has neuropathy stepped on a tac and ended up with MRSA. He nearly lost his foot and could have died. He was hospitalized for a month and out of work for three. I worked myself to a frazzle. At one point I had three jobs and was on the clock for 23 hours and 45 minutes one day. I was headed for a breakdown. My husband physically seemed to be on the mend, but his personality was no longer the kind, easygoing affectionate, man I had known for nearly twenty years. Then came the suicide attempt. Like I said it's been a rough since about this time last year.

When my husband made the suicide attempt Loki showed back up worried about both of us. Loki and my mortal husband know about each other. They like each other so please nobody suggest that Loki is trying to get rid of my mortal husband. When we married the priestess who married us was well aware that Loki was part of the ceremony and that I was marrying the both of them. We've been happily married and Loki always felt like I would be okay during his absences because I had someone else that he trusted there with me.

At first Loki tried to be my distraction from all the stress, he's really good at that. Then Loki started to worry I worried about mortal hubby and Loki worried about me. Many pleas to slow down before I had a breakdown too and Loki finally put his foot down I had to learn to say no and I had to take care of me if I was going to take care of anybody else. Finally the tears and the exhaustion came after my husband told a lie that made me look like a very bad person. My mother-in-law went off on me I had been up for three days with only about four hours sleep and those weren't even consecutive hours and I was reduced to a sobbing mess. Like so many times before Loki was there to catch me He let me cry, He let me rage, when the worst had passed I looked at Him.

"So I guess being the God of change you're going to tell me to throw away twenty years of my life and file for divorce." I asked.

"Oh you think you know me so well Little One." Even at a such a solemn moment Loki can't resist using an old nickname from back in my childhood when he was the imaginary friend who took me on wild adventures far away from whatever was going on at home at the time. It had went from term of affection for a child he had chosen to protect to a teasing dig at my 5'3 height compared to well all of Them.

"Well aren't you?" I asked.

"Little one besides being the God of Change what else am I?" I start to rattle off titles and associations.

No let me rephrase that Little One who am I married to who are my Wives his voice somehow conveying the capital W that lets me know it is Sigyn and Angrboda he speaks of.

"Sigyn and Angrboda" I say.

And what Little one is my precious Sigyn the Goddess of?

Fidelity I answer and then it hits me She had stuck by Him through far worse.

So I'm here I'm staying but there are days when I just wish I had someone to talk to. Someone human.

This year has been hard the isolation brought on by Covid 19 precautions is wearing on everyone in one way or another I think. Add to that the fact that I live in a very rural, very Conservative Christian area where I have to hide my witchy ways. Knowing full well just how many people in my life would utterly abandon me if they knew about Loki and my true beliefs. I can't talk about Him to well anyone besides my oldest and there are things about being a godspouse you wouldn't want to discuss with your kid. I used to have my husband but now talking to him about the most mundane things is a cross between walking on eggshells and navigating a mine field. I got lonely, really lonely.

Against my better judgement I decided to dip my toe back into the Lokean Community after walking away from all the groups, blogs, message boards ect in about 2013. So about 7 years as a solitary Lokean witch and I was ready to test the waters again.

I found a Lokean on social media (I don't want to draw any negative attention to this person because they are doing a fantastic job with what they are doing) so much of what they were saying resonated with me and I wanted to talk. Hey maybe I could make a friend. I commented maybe a bit too much. I meant no harm I was just excited to talk to someone after so long keeping it all to myself. Well that went spectacularly wrong and I ended up with someone who I'm pretty sure thinks of me as a rival or an enemy now. Loki being Loki was quick to remind me that my ramblings don't offend everyone. I had commented on a completely unrelated post about Him a few days earlier and within hours of the well I fucked up incident I'm reading a post by someone thanking me for talking about how I experience Loki because it resonated with them an affirmed a few things.

Then Loki was like I want you to start talking about me. I want you to rejoin the community. I was like oh hell to the no. Well you can see who won that argument. So here I am hoping I don't come to regret this.

[footballerindreams]

How I Met Your Mother - Kanemoto Yoshinori

Right timing! Yoshi’s birthday is coming up! Therefore here’s an imagine dedicated for him.

S/O to @treasuredays​!

We all know that Yoshi has always adored his hyung, Choi Hyunsuk. But did you know there is one more person is adored…or should I say loved more than Choi Hyunsuk. You could say Yoshi’s family but it’s already given. Actually, there is another “Choi” that he loves: CHOI Y/N.

Who is she?

Oh. She’s just a Kindergarten teacher and just the beloved and closest cousin of Hyunsuk.

And how their love story bloomed is one heck of a whirlwind.

Aside from being an idol, Yoshi had engrossed himself with drawings and paintings. He draws and paints on his other free time (the other free time is producing music). One day Haruto came to his room to ask something and Yoshi was painting.

“Woah! Senpai! When was the last time I came here?” Ruto asked.

“Uhm, last week? Why?” the older Japanese replied.

“Is it just me or your room is now full of your artwork?” the younger said.

At the moment, Yoshi’s room is stacked with so many finished paintings on canvasses on one side of the room, a few stacks of sketches and drawings on his table. And now on the floor is another painting about to be finished as well.

“Do you have any plans for this, senpai?” HAruto asked again.

“Actually, no. You know me Ruto. I just paint and draw as a hobby.”

“Don’t tell me, your going to get rid all of these later.”

“WHAT! NO! I’ve worked hard on this!”

“Ok. But for sure you are not planning to look for another room and use this room as your stock room for all your paintings. And besides your works are good. Why don’t you show it publicly?”

“I did. Treasure map?”

“Aside from that.”

“Then what do you suggest to do?”

And so later that night, the members had a meeting and decided they will have an open exhibit for all of Yoshi’s work. At first they wanted it to display on the lobby of the YG Building. But the other idols (like Bobby-hyung) and the higher ups said, “Go all out.” and in the end Yoshi’s drawings are displayed at the Samsung Museum of Art.

Then came D-Day for Yoshi’s exhibit and as expected, many people came to see his work. From fans, to even high profile people. Hell! Even Samsung’s CEO came to see and wanted to buy some of Yoshi’s artwork and the man was shocked. Did he sold it, of course…No at first. The CEO wanted to buy one of his work for more than 2 Million Won and all of the members are flabbergasted…and more flabbergasted when Yoshi refused it. But after some consideration (thanks to Hyunsuk saying that he can do more paintings if he wants to), he said yes.

 Yoshi is busy roaming around when he saw a group of children, probably Kindergarten students coming in the exhibit hall. Yoshi has always been fond of kids so he said his hellos to them, until he caught sight of their teacher.

“Y/N! You’re here!” Hyunsuk shouted running towards the teacher.

“Hi, hyung! Yeah. It happened that the kids have field trip today and I decided to take them to this exhibit when I saw an ad yesterday. I never expected to see you here too.” Y/N replied.

“Well, the exhibit is all Yoshi’s work. You know him, right?” Hyunsuk said with a smile while patting Yoshi’s shoulder.

“Wow! Is this all of your work?” Y/N was amazed.

“Hai…I mean…Ne!” Yoshi stuttered.

“They’re so beautiful.”

You’re beautiful as well.

“Arigato gozaimasu…” Yoshi bowed in embarrassment.

---

Well, that was not the last time Yoshi saw Y/N. The next time was at Hyunsuk’s birthday.  And this time he really sucked up all the courage he has…just to get her number, which she gladly gave.

Sure after that they sent messages, called, and even hanged out!

Though Yoshi is liking her more and more, he never said what he felt. He thought hanging out with her is enough.

---

“Tadaima.” Yoshi said as he entered their dorm. He just came back from another hangout with Choi Y/N.

“Well, guess who came home so “early”.” Hyunsuk sarcastically greeted while sitting on the couch. It seems like he’s waiting for a particular someone to come home.

“Hyung, you’re still up?” Yoshi said.

Hyunsuk stood up almost jumping from the couch and approached the younger member who is taller than him. “Yeah. Care to say where have you been the whole time?” Hyunsuk asked.

“I was at the studio working on---”

“Don’t lie to me Yoshinori. I know you’ve been meeting with Y/N the whole time you are out of the dorm.” Yoshi swallowed the lump on his throat as he looked at his hyung. He knows Hyunsuk is really serious.

“Stay away from her.” Just is what Hyunsuk only said and then he went to his room.

---

Yesterday

Yoshi! I have free time this Saturday. Can we hangout?

Hi Yoshi! You’re probably busy right now. I’m sorry if I am disturbing you.

Today

Hi Yoshi. Is there something wrong? It’s so unusual that you’re not replying.

I know I sound intrusive, but you know, you can talk to me.

I’m fine Y/N. Don’t worry. =)

---

Y/N is so worried so after her class she decided to go to Yoshi’s dorm to check him out.

“Y/N! Did not expect for you to come. You should’ve told me. I should’ve picked you up.” Hyunsuk said as he saw his cousin outside the door.

“It’s okay. Sukkie-hyung. Anyway, is Yoshi here right now?” Y/N casually asked.

Then Hyunsuk’s face changed. “Why are you looking for him?” he sternly asked.

“I’ve been texting him but he’s not answering. I thought he has a problem, and I was a bit worried.”

“He’s not here!” Hyunsuk replied at bit loudly making Y/N flinched a bit. “I---I’m sorry Y/N. I did not mean to.” Hyunsuk immeditaley apologized.

“Uhm. It’s okay. But are you okay? You seem agitated.” Y/N asked. She thinks something’s up.

“I’m fine.”

---

“Yoshi!” Y/N screamed as she saw the Japanese boy sitting on a bench looking towards Han River. Yoshi heard her voice and looked at her direction. With widened eyes, he suddenly got up from his seat about to leave.

“Wait Yoshi, stop!” Y/N grabs his hand. “Why are you avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?” Y/N asked.

“No. Nothing, Y/N. I just really have to go. I still have some work---”

“I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM HER!” Hyunsuk came dashing and grabbed Yoshi’s collar pulling him closer. Yoshi is now trembling.

“Hyunsuk, what are you doing?!” Y/N dashed to free Yoshi from her cousin but she was only stopped by the Japanese.

“It’s okay Y/N.”

Hyunsuk grabbed Yoshi’s collar tighter almost ready to punch the other’s face.

“Again. I told. You. To stay. AWAY FROM HER! Which part of that do you not understand?!” Hyunsuk shouted.

“Hyunsuk! I was the one who went to him! What’s your problem?!”

“I don’t want you to be hurt again, Y/N. DO you still remember the time that you came to me crying after you found out your boyfriend was sleeping with another girl?” Hyunsuk replied.

“I do! But Hyunsuk, Yoshi is different. I know, and I believe he’s different.” Y/N cannot take it anymore and said, “I like him, Hyunsuk!”

Hyunsuk let Yoshi got when he heard what his cousin said.

“I like him. What can I do? I can’t help it.” Y/N kneeled on the ground and cried.

Yoshi came closer to her and wiped her tears away. “Please don’t cry. I’m sorry I avoided you. It’s just that I don’t want Hyunsuk-hyung to hate me and you to become sad.” Yoshi held her hand. “But now I know too. I like you too, Choi Y/N.”

Y/N hugged him tight for the first time.

While Hyunsuk just stood there, feeling guilty for what he did.

It turns out that Y/N had a prior relationship before Yoshi. A Japanese expat working at a big Korean firm. Y/N was so in love with him and she would always tell Hyunsuk about him. But then she caught him cheating on her. When Hyunsuk knew, he could not control himself and almost thrown his reputation away as an idol. Thanks to Y/N and her kindness, he stopped before he lands a fist on the guy. At that point Hyunsuk was always on guard for his cousin, especially with Japanese men.

---

Yoshi and Y/N’s relationship bloomed and stayed strong. When Seung and Yong were born, Hyunsuk tried to tease them to seal the deal and give his twins a cousin to play with only for him to get a sassy reply from his cousin.

“Don’t you dare tell us to seal the deal. You haven’t even sealed yours! Do it first.” Y/N said that made Yoshi laugh at his hyung.

We can say Yoshi is a box full of surprises. During Jihoon’s wedding, he asked Jihoon to intentionally throw the garter to him and Jihoon’s wife to throw the bouquet to Y/N. The newly wed couple made it as natural as it is. And it really happened. The bouquet was thrown first, and Y/N got it.

Then instead of a garter, a small white box was thrown and Yoshi, as intended, got it.

They were at the center and the people are watching them. Then Yoshi kneeled and Y/N was shocked.

“I want us to be the next couple to get married. I think it’s time to seal the deal. Choi Y/N, will you marry me?” And Yoshi opened the box revealing an Aquamarine gemstone ring.

Y/N can’t believe what’s happening and cried, “Of course I will!”

---

A few months after their engagement, the got married in Yoshi’s hometown of Kobe. And during that time, Hyunsuk was the best man. He even delivered a speech for the couple.

“I don’t know why but my cousin has a thing for Japanese men. But I’m happy that out of all Japanese men she met, Yoshi is the one she is spending her life with. At first I was afraid that things will go wrong again, and that Yoshi, eventhough I know he is a good man, will be the same as the prick who broke my cousin’s heart. But he proved me wrong. And also, I know Yoshi adores me so much. Even during Treasure box time. But I did not expect he would go to the extent of being a part of my family tree. But anyways, welcome to the Choi family, brother, and cousin-in-law. Cheers to the newly weds.”

And then a year after, Hikaro was born, much to the happiness of Seung and Yong.

[evak-fic-rec-turtleanon]

Evak Fics - Kid Fics

*** Isak and Even have a child together *** They are parents but to different children *** Only one of them is a parent 

***** THEY HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER *****

Nas by OrTheNightEverythingChanged (571 words) - Isak and Even take their daughter to the skatepark. 

Sugar Coat This Love For Me by i_once_wrote_a_dream (1k words) - A little argument over candy during Halloween. 

life with our little prince by glbertblythes (SERIES. 3 Fics) - Isak and Even adopt a little boy with prince curls and blue eyes. 

All in the Eyes of a Boy by MacksDramaticShenanigans (1.3k words) - the first time Isak and Even meet their son. 

all i want for christmas is you by stringsinmelody (1.3k words) - Isak and Even enjoy their first Christmas together with their baby. 

sugar and spice and everything nice by chasingflower (1.6k words) - Eskild and Noora finds Evak’s kid from the future. It’s adorable as heck. 

småfolk by stringsinmelody (SERIES. 5 fics) - a/b/o undertones. 

the room's hush hush and now's our moment by ahana (2.2k words) - A night in the life of Isak and Even, sixteen years later. 

Stjerner Lyser Skinnende by MacksDramaticShenanigans (2.4k words) - Isak and Even attend their daughter’s music concert. She has a surprise for them. 

The Beginning of Believing by MacksDramaticShenanigans (2.5k words) - Their children argue about Santa. 

I'll be there by Wolle19 (SERIES. 3 fics) - All Isak want is for his husband to be home for the holidays. Mpreg. 

I'll give you the brightest sunshine by goldenkisses (3k words) - It was something that they new would always happen, a life being brought into their lives that would make all the gloomy days into something so bright. Adoption. 

everything that happens is from now on. by Skamtrash (6.7k words) - Adoption. At the end so not a lot of the kid is involved here. This is part of a series. The next part, wrap your arms around my heart just like you always do. has more of the kid. 

Isn't He Lovely by MacksDramaticShenanigans (4.4k words) - the first time Evak’s kid meets his uncles. 

don't be wasting your time (on your own) by orphan_account (4.6k words) - Five things Even reminds himself not to forget, and the one thing he does. NOTE: The fic says this is a sequel and the first fic is a must read. But there’s no link so if you know which the main fic is, let me know. P.S. This could go under the different children category but they are already a family here so.. 

The Fools Who Dream by Janey_E (6k words) - A collection of moments from Isak and Even's family life, important and not-so-important. Kids, friends, mornings, evenings, weddings, birthdays, bad days, good days. 

Our Steady True North by verlore_poplap (orphan_account) (9k words) - Five times Isak and Even were amicable; plus one time they just weren't. Co-parenting. Post break-up. 

i ain't no hercules by grinsekaetzchen (12k words) - Post-apocalypse world. This is a sequel. So SPOILERS. They kinda adopt this boy. The first part is if you must live, darling one, just live and it’s amazing. 

my entire world fits perfectly in my arms by theyellowcurtains (12.8k words) - A bunch of cuddle prompts. Not all of these are kid fics. 

(WIP) Everyday Evak: The Realistic Stories of Isak & Even by NeonViolet (14k words) - A realistic looks into Even and Isak's life. It's not always glamorous. 

you told me we were forever by Skamtrash (19k words) - Isak finds out he's having a baby soon after Even breaks up with him so he makes the decision not to tell him. Except Even finds out on his own 3 years later. 

The Fiction of Reality by Midlifecrisis (24k words) - Isak and Even have a daughter, but life is not plain sailing. 

Soup is for the Soul by unfancyandy (26k words) - This is a sequel. So SPOILERS. set 5 years after "Sleep Is For Dreamers," Even and Isak are starting a new adventure. 

Evak Family by orphan_account (SERIES. 7 fics) 80k- Isak is nineteen, Even is twenty-one, and they had a plan. A plan that they've very, very carefully stuck to. Until, that is, Isak gets sick and can't seem to figure out what's wrong with him. Spoiler: he's not sick. Mpreg. 

You Are Everything I Have Never Been by staylucky (78k words) - Isak Valtersen is an unpresented, soon-to-present omega who is convinced his best friend Jonas Vasquez is his alpha mate until he meets a very charming and persuasive new alpha, Tall Stranger aka Even Bech Naesheim, making him question everything. The kid part comes later on in the fic. 

Calm After by desp3ration (270k words) - This is a sequel to Tidal Waves . So SPOILERS. The tags say Evak becoming parents but I have not yet read this and I don't want to fo through it to figure it out because I want to read this later. So if it shouldn't be in here, let me know.  

***** THEY EACH HAVE DIFFERENT CHILDREN *****

shred by tusktooth (22k words) - Has a twist but nor really a twist. I’m just gonna put this in this category.  There were two versions of Isak Valtersen. He was cool, smart snowboarder guy. The real Isak, was also trans, gay, and a father. Keeping the two Isaks separate wasn’t that difficult. At least, not until he saw Even again. 

***** ONLY ONE OF THEM IS A PARENT *****

Even the Illustrator by eavk (SERIES. 3 fics) - An AU where Even’s an illustrator who draws what kids describe to him for YouTube, and Isak is the smitten father of a six year old with a wild imagination. 

a lullaby for you by noirophelia (2.2k words) - Isak has a wonderful little daughter. Even is her wonderful teacher. 

Better With You by iriswests (5.8k words) - Isak and Even don't know what they'd do without the other. Eventually, they realize they don't really need to find out.. Single dad Even. Vet Isak. 

(WIP) carrying our dreams and all that they mean (trying to make it all worthwhile) byodair_goes_my_sanity (8.4k words) - We’ve been hooking up for the past few weeks and holy shit it turned out you’re my kids teacher oh god this embarrassing! 

Universe At Its Finest by Skamtrash (8.6k words) - The universe brings Even into Isaks life, he just didn't know Even came with a full package. A kid fic with 90% pure fluff. 

The Little Flower Named Dahlia by Bellakitse (18k words) - Single!Dad Isak + Preschool teacher Even and the little girl that brings them together. Adorable fic. 

(WIP) Draw a Family by Isakprettykitty (21k words) - Isak, a single parent, takes his 5 year old son to preschool for the first time. Before Isak adopted Magne, his biologic parents weren't treating Magne as they should and some of the scars still haven't healed. Magne's teacher is no other than Even bech næsheim, who makes it his goal to help Magne out with his social anxiety. As time passes, Even and Isak grow closer and the younger one finally learns that it is okay to depend on other people. 

Lovesick by Sabeley (SERIES. 2 fics) - Even is absolutely not making up excuses to take his daughter to see the hot new pediatrician. 5 times Even's daughter wasn't actually sick and 1 time she was. 

take me as i am-universe by argentae (SERIES. 3 fics) - He isn’t crushing, and nevertheless this guy has become a Problem, because whenever he’s on shift he’s made it increasingly difficult for Isak to really spend his time productively. Sure, he could just find another place to study but he likes the access to coffee here even though he actually kind of hates the bitterness of it and he’s just not going to let himself get swept aside because of this guy. Parent!Even. 

We are our Choices by recklesslee (40k words) - Even is informed that one decision he made on a lonely night months ago has led to a new bump in the road. Now Even has another choice to make, and that just might change his life for the better. Doctor!Isak. 

Emmy by NeonViolet (48k words) - Isak is 25 and working in marine biology. Sana is his best friend. He has a 7 year old. And her new school principal looks familiar. Adorable! 

waiting outside ('til you're ready to go) by mellowellom (52k words) - An AU where Isak's daughter is an actual little devil that he can't control for the life of him, and his neighbour Even offers a helping hand. 

we've made it this far, kid by everythingislove (straykid) (SERIES. 2 fics) - Technically, Isak is an uncle. The one where Isak is just trying to raise his nephew as best he can with the help of his best friends. He doesn't expect to fall for Felix's gorgeous football coach along the way. 

(WIP) The Daughter by Laika_the_husband  (10k words) - A sequel. So spoilers. Even’s daughter appear in the previous fics but not as much. Continues from the series, A Dove, a Snake, a Ghost and a Madman. And what an excellent series this is. 

Quitting You by Laika_the_husband (65k words) - A sequel. So spoilers. From the series, Because of You I'm Nothing, I'm Nowhere. Isak Valtersen is a happy stay-at-home dad of his baby girl, taking care of his new home in Belgium. His peaceful life as a domestic god gets turned upside down, when his deeply buried desires are suddenly forced to resurface. It is simple enough to find someone on Grindr, but when that someone is painfully familiar, things can get complicated. Another excellent series. 

I Can Hardly Breathe by Flatfootmonster (82k words) - This fic, man. Isak gets hired to be the nanny? for Even and Sonja’s kids. This fic is just absolutely amazing. 

[anotherbeingsworld]

Beach Days

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x F!MC 

Summary: A beach day with words of wisdom and memories for them to remember. 

Characters: Bryce Lahela, Casey Valentine and Keiki Lahela.

Tags:  @bitchloveskcbaseball , @storyofmychoices @jaxsmutsuo , @mvalentine , @princess-geek , @lahellacute , @kacie-0156-deactivated20200905 , @this-person-is-busy , @annekebbphotography , @brycelahel, @mrsbhandari , @dcbbw , @choicessa , @choices-confessions , @aylamwrites , @fantasyoverreality98 , @drakewalker04 , @baltersome , @ofpixelsandscribbles , @thundergom  @starrystarrytrouble, @ohramsey , @kelseaaa  , @rookie-ramsey , @bratzlahela , @ohvamsey , @choicesficwriterscreations , @soft-for-drake , @lalizah , @drethanramslay​ , @arcticlumineer , @choicesstan1 , @aveeiro​

A/N:  Hi everyone, it’s me and I am back with a short drabble. It was a short one since uni has been very very hectic and, my life is just... a lot. And, its been a rough week, I wasn’t planning on writing much except trying to finish up some wips. It’s just.. one of the worst weeks ever? But, its a new one right. So, I present a short fluffy fic, that was inspired from a beach trip I got a chance to take with my family, and... I love beaches so much, and that is maybe one of the reasons why I am attracted to Bryce? (Well, no regrets honestly!) But, I hope all of you enjoyed it since its kinda.... rusty of me when I wrote this and I haven’t had the chance to edit it. It was a hec, and enjoy! <3

LINK TO MY MASTERLIST

“Bryce, c’mon we are going to be late for dinner!’ Casey shouted with an urgency in her voice. 

He stood up along with Keiki, as they were searching something among the sands. Casey felt herself gave us, as she dropped herself back on one of the lounge chairs.

‘Bryce, have you found the perfect one?’ Keiki’s voice piped through the search, as the Lahela siblings were scooting down the sand, as they were searching for a pirate’s treasure. Casey stared at them, with a curiosity in mind as she observes from afar. 

After what felt like an eternity, Bryce lets out a squeal of happiness as he was holding.... a stick?

Keiki dusted herself from the sand, as she stands up with happiness on her face. Curiosity clouded her mind, making her stand from the coziness of the lounge chair. She walked to the Lahela siblings, as they were huddling on the sand. Making something, maybe creating a sandcastle.

“What are you both making?’ She asked, as she peeked through the circle between the siblings.

‘Making words out of sand!’ Bryce said enthusiastically as he is finishing up some final touches on his ‘masterpiece’. 

‘....okay?’ Casey just nods, as she watched Bryce tracing the words with the stick, with full concentration which is somehow... hot? The sun above them, is almost setting, as the canvas behind him was shining in bright orange. Somehow, a view she longed for a while now. After everything that has happened the last few months at Edenbrook, she knew she needed this vacation and, the beach is one of her first choice.

‘It’s like a tradition, we did it every time! It was very therapeutic, sitting down and just write whatever comes in mind.’ He said before standing up, as he admires the ‘masterpiece’.

Keiki lets out a squeal, taking the stick from Bryce as, she wrote several times. One of them includes, a quote from a favorite tv show of hers, a drawing of a kite, and... the final one which is ‘Bryce and Keiki’ in cursive. It somehow, made her smile. One of the smiles that can be seen by children at Disney Land, or as one took a bite on their favorite food. The sincere one, the one that made Casey smile as well.

‘It’s time for the judge to do its work!’ Bryce announced, as Casey disguises herself as a judge with a make-believe clipboard, and an imaginary whistle alerting the ‘competitors’ as the time is up!

Casey studied the ‘masterpieces’ carefully, as she gets into her judge mode. Examining, studying every inch of the masterpieces making both of the Lahela siblings burst in laughter. She turned to the so-called competitors, with a smile on her face. 

‘....After exactly 30 seconds of judging, the winner is..... Keiki Lahela!’ 

The applause follows, as Keiki run forward and pulled Casey into a tight hug. A smile on her face, as she sticks her tongue out at Bryce, who laughs at the reaction.

‘I finally beat Bryce in something! This is a momentous occasion every one! I finally defeat Bryce in something after all these years!!!’ Her voiced boomed through the empty beach, as the sun is ready to set.

‘Heck yeah! We got the power Keiki!’ Casey high-fives the younger Lahela, as Bryce pulls both of them in a hug aswell.

‘I will let it slide this time, but... next time, I am going to win.’ He said, as the group move forward to check out the ‘masterpiece’ once again.

Casey grins at the familiarity of the quote, that still lingers in her mind till this day. One of Bryce’s favourite mantra’s.

‘Don’t Cover up your Greatness!’ 

She pulled him for a kiss, as the memories with Bryce from her intern year followed through as she glances at the quote. One of the little things in their relationship that she held greatly in her heart. 

Bryce took her hand in his, as they made their way to Keiki’s side of the masterpiece. 

He stops in his tracks, pulling Keiki into a shoulder-side hug. 

‘Bryce and Keiki , like good old times?’ He questions with a hint of excitement, as his free hand was balled up into a fist-bump.

Keiki, fist-bumps back at him as Casey captured the small moment of the Lahela siblings. One of the good momento’s since they were tear apart from each other. 

‘Like good old times...’ Keiki said glancing at Casey, with an all knowing look on her face. She scoots down, and took the stick once again. Adding Casey’s name in the chain too, somehow making herself satisfied by the results. 

‘Maybe, with a small upgrade.’ She stood up after finishing up her ‘masterpiece’ and winks at her, causing both of them to blush at the comment as they were making memories together. As a small family of their own, it was unexpected but... they wouldn’t have it any other way. 

THE END. 

[peppersonironi]

For @duketectivecomics‘s Duke Week Day Six: All in the Batfamily

Summary: Duke gets woken up at night and is roped into a strange initiation ceremony into the bats. Despite initial chaos, Duke finds that he is actually enjoying himself, and that maybe being a part of this family isn’t such a scary thing. Throwing a glitter bomb at Batman is definitely scary though.

“Are you ready?”

Duke opened his eyes, to find Dick Grayson hovering a few inches away from his face. “Gah!” Duke let out, scrambling backwards on his bed till he hit the headboard. “What are you doing?”

“Poor reflexives,” Duke looked past Dick to find Damian frowning at him, “And he should have known we were present before waking.”

“Settle down, kid,” This time Jason spoke, “Not everyone is as freaky as you.”

Duke blinked the sleep away from his eyes, and surveyed the scene before him. Dick was still by his bed, grinning. Damian and Jason stood behind, along with Cass, Tim,  and Stephanie. Wow, when was the last time he’d ever seen all these guys together in the same room without killing each other? Duke had a worrisome feeling that he was the reason for this strange behavior.

“Um,” Duke asked, “What’s going on? It's 2 am.”

“We’re welcoming you to the family!” Dick’s grin grew impossibly wider.

“But I’ve been here four months?”

Tim shook his head. “But you haven’t had a proper welcome, yet. We had to wait till everyone was here, and Steph insisted she be a part.

“Heck yeah!” The blonde teen said, “I’m a part of this family, whether you like it or not! Bruce even gave me an allowance!”

“You tricked him into giving you his credit card,” Jason replied dryly.

“Like you haven’t done that before.”

“I don’t bother tricking him.”

Duke looked back and forth at the exchange, trying to wrap his mind around what was happening.

“That doesn't answer my question.”

Damian sighed. “In order to truly be a Wayne, you must go through the initiation period.” “That's not ominous at all.”

“Tour,” Cass said, “You learn things. Not bad, fun.”

Duke nodded. “Thank you, Cass.” He was still confused, but at least she was trying.

“If you would get dressed, we have much ground to cover.” Damian sniffed, but even Duke could tell the kid was excited.

Dick backed away from the bed. “We'll be right back, Duke, get ready!”

*****

Five minutes later, Duke found himself hastily dressed and standing in the entrance hall of Wayne manor. His siblings were arrayed in a semi-circle before him, all of them in weird red robes. They had managed to set up tiki torches at intervals around the room, adding to the atmosphere of doom.

“We are gathered here today to celebrate the bonding between two families. That of the Thomas' and that of the Waynes.” Duke blinked at Tim. “Why are you making it sound like we're getting married?”

“Shh!”

“In this great ceremony, We accept you, Duke Thomas, into our fold. After this day henceforth, you will be one with the bats.” Tim took a deep breath and continued reading from the scarily large book in his hands. “The bonding day is set in three parts. The first, a display of power. You shall be shown our places, and our things, so that you are made privy to the goings on in the lives of Gotham's most secretive family. Next, You shall be given tasks by each member of the clan – excepting Bruce – that you must complete. Fail even one, and be warned.” Tim stared Duke down. “You have been warned. The final and most dangerous stage of all …” Tim stopped reading, and every single one of the gathered Waynes began to stomp their right foot. This went on for several seconds. “Is … Cake. Do you accept the challenge, Duke of the Narrows?”

Duke sighed. He didn't quite like the sound of this, but he might as well. “Sure.”

Jason whooped, and even Damian cracked a smile.

“Well,” Steph said, “let's get on with it!”

* * * * *

“And it was in this room that Dick broke his first chandelier.”

Duke paused, staring at Jason who had taken over as tour guide after Tim started foaming at the mouth. “First?”

The now recovered Tim grinned. “Yup! He's broken twenty three and a half in his fifteen year stay at the manor.”

Duke nodded. “Alrighty then.”

“Over here are some pictures of Bruce's great-great-great-great-great-great-great something aunts. If you look closely, you'll see the outline of mustaches. Bruce made us erase them.” Stephanie bounced by, pointing out exactly which paintings she had decimated.

The tour had been going on for almost an hour now, and Duke would be lying if he said he wasn't having fun. Sure, he had seen most of the stuff here, but the stories that went along with them were amazing. It was sweet to know which room Dick insisted they have a family movie in, back when it was only him, Bruce, and Alfred. It was hilarious to find out that the strange purple splotch on the love seat in one of the east wing's drawing rooms was from the time Damian insisted on trying slushies. Or the many tails that arose from the kitchen. From Bruce attempting to cook (He'd always wondered why Alfred had banned him) to the time Jason sleep walked himself into making beignets.

Cass had insisted they tour the air vents (He didn't know you could get into them, let alone that they could fit people, and wasn't quite sure what to do with the information) and trying to get Jason squished in was a highlight of the night. Cass also showed Duke the best hiding places in the manor, in case he ever needed to hide during a prank war. Or Bruce.

Stephanie knew the places with the thinnest walls, and also other tricks for listening in on conversations. She said she'd never had to use the information, but Duke wasn't convinced.

Dick explained the pros and cons of each chandelier in the manor, along with a very detailed instruction pamphlet on getting yourself onto one. Duke promised himself he'd never try.

Tim knew all the best wifi spots in each wing. Somehow, the wifi wasn't the exact same in every part of the house.

Jason knew the best sniper perches, and how to get there. Also, the coziest spots in the library, primed and ready for any avid bookworm. (Duke was actually excited for the second. He really did enjoy reading, but usually stuck to his room)

Damian was very solemn as he brought Duke to random places around the house that were apparently Alfred's (The cat's) and Titus' favorite hang outs. “In case you need a friend who is not as fallible as humans.”

The tour ended on the roof, each sibling taking to their claimed section. Duke was permitted to choose his own, and did so. He ended up picking a quiet outlook on the forrest, over the west wing.

Duke was given a few minutes of peace, not noticing till a little ways in that he was alone. Huh, he thought, this is kind of nice.

“Alright, Narrows,” Duke turned to find everyone staring at him, “You ready for the fun part?”

* * * * *

“Now lift up your left foot two inches … got it!”

Unfortunately, the first challenge that was given to Duke by Dick, had him breaking his earlier promise to himself. For you see, Duke Thomas now found himself wrapped in the crystal and gold of Wayne Manors largest chandelier.

“Are you sure this is safe?” Duke asked for the seventh time.

“Perfectly!” Dick replied, but the snickers and filming phones of his siblings made Duke question the acrobat's words.

Duke shifted on the chandelier and heard a soft cracking noise. He froze, terror rushing through his entire body.

“That was just me!”

Duke looked to down to find Stephanie pulling a couple twigs from her hair, and snapping them in two. She had a manic grin on her face. Oh, she knew exactly what she had done.

“Just don't do it again!”

“Don't worry, Duke,” Dick called, “You're almost done! You just need to chill for a bit longer. I'm gonna toss up this candy bar, and you need to eat it. Just try not to look like Superman when he sees kryptonite. If you don't catch it, you fail.”

Duke took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Okay, I'm r-”

The candy bar was flung up a second before Duke expected it, causing him to fumble and reach out a bit to far to grab it. The chandelier swung dangerously, and Duke let out a scream. A moment later, however, the swinging calmed down, and Duke paused long enough to register the roaring laughter coming from bellow him.

“Stop!” Duke said, “This isn't funny!”

“Yeah, it kinda is.” Tim was the first to speak, after having to lean heavily on Steph. “You forget, Duke, that each and every one of us had to go through this. It's great to see someone else panic. One of the few pros to Bruce's adoption addiction.”

Duke glowered. “Just stop laughing.”

“Chill, Duchess,” Jason grinned up at him. “Just eat the candy and you can come down.”

Duke sighed and unwrapped the kit-kat that had given him the worst fright of his life – and that included everything he saw on patrol. He gingerly broke it in two, put on a gruesome grin, and took a bite.

Everyone cheered, and Duke's grin became slightly more genuine. “You have completed the first task,” Tim said in a solemn voice. “Let us move on.”

Everyone filed out of the room, and Duke started to panic. “Hey wait! How do I get down!”

* * * * *

“I don't know if I can do this.” Duke sat in the batchair, Alfred having moved graciously to allow Duke to complete his task.

“It's simple Narrows,” Jason said, “Just press the button and ask the question. Simple.”

“But does it have to be … that?”

Jason looked very serious as he answered, “yes.”

Duke sighed. “Here goes nothing.” he reached forward and press the unmute button. “Hey, B?”

Batman's growl came through the speakers. “What are you doing awake, Signal? It's the middle of the night.”

“But you're awake.”

“I'm part of the night patrol. You're not. So what are you doing awake?”

“I need to ask you a question.”

Bruce sighed. “Go ahead.”

Duke sighed and looked back at his sibling who were all grinning maniacally. He turned back to the computer. “Does Santa exist?”

Bruce let out the most long suffering sigh Duke had heard that week. “One of your siblings better not have put you up to this.”

Duke looked at Jason, who was frantically shaking his head. “No, B. It's just, the freaking devil is real, right? And the greek gods, and a whole bunch of other stuff? So why not santa?”

Bruce sighed. “Good night, Signal,” and he logged off.

“Not our best,” Jason said, shaking his head, “next time we should ask how babies are made.”

“NEXT TIME?!?!?!!?”

* * * * *

“You can get it down in one gulp if you try hard enough!”

Duke looked over skeptically at Tim, who was making Duke drink a special blend of espresso, five hour energies, and Monster.

“You just need some ambition!”

Duke gulped. “Ambition to die?”

Tim sighed. “Just do it. If you don't, you'll fail the challenge, and you DON'T want to find out what happens then.” His point was emphasized by every single one of the bats unleashing their personal batglares upon him.

Duke grimaced, grabbed the venti Starbucks's cup, and gulped it down. He swayed for a moment. “I'm never sleeping again.”

Tim grinned, “Nope!”

* * * * *

Damian's task was relatively simple. His pets had to approve of him. They'd already gotten Alfred's, Titus', and Bat-cow's approval, and they were outside trying to find Jerry the turkey.

“Got him!” Stephanie called from bushes, and a loud squawking ensued. She walked over, carrying the bird and placing in front of Duke.

Everyone stood still for a moment, then Damian spoke. “He approves.”

Duke grinned. “Great, what's the next challenge?”

Damian smirked, and Duke's stomach dropped. The eleven year old turned around and whistled sharply. Large wing beats sounded from far off and a huge shape appeared on the horizon. As it approached, Duke could make out what appeared to be a large, fuzzy dragon. The animal landed right in front of Duke, and Damian continued.

“Thomas, meet Goliath.” the tiny terror turned to the beast. “Goliath, decide his fate.”

* * * * *

“So, what do you have for me, Cass?” Duke asked warily. He knew Cass was the nice one, but he wouldn't put it past her to choose something … questionable.

Cassandra smiled sweetly, leaned forward, and whispered in Duke's ear, “hug Jason.”

Duke sighed. That wasn't too bad. He turned around and faced Jason head on. “So, what did she sa-”

Jason was cut off by Duke launching forward and wrapping his arms around Jason's huge chest.

The young man sighed. And wrapped his arms around Duke. “Eh,” he said when he saw the looks he was getting, “Duchess isn't too bad.”

Dick grinned. “Does that mean I get a hug?”

Both Duke and Jason tensed. “On the count of three,” Jason whispered, “We run.”

Dick grinned and opened his arms.

“One.”

He took a step forward.

“Two.”

Dick smiled. “Come on, guys!”

“THREE!! RUN!!!”

* * * * *

“Now pour delicately, Master Duke,” Alfred said as he instructed Duke on how to properly have tea. Everyone had insisted on going to Alfred before Stephanie's challenge, which had Duke worried slightly, but he honestly enjoyed having tea.

“Don't forget to have good posture,” The butler continued. Duke frowned slightly. Maybe this would be longer than he thought.

* * * * *

“Now a tad more glitter. You can never have enough!”

Duke followed the instructions, finishing up the glitter bomb which Stephanie had taught him how to make. He wasn't sure what it was going to be used for, but he knew it wasn't gonna be good.

“Great job, Duke!” Stephanie grinned, then turned to Dick. “How much longer till Bruce gets back from patrol?”

Ah. Yeah, this definitely wasn't going to be good.

“Five minutes,” Dick replied, “Everyone in position!”

And so Duke found himself dragged into the Batcave, glitter bomb behind his back, and a hastily memorized instruction to throw and run in his mind. Five minutes later, the batmobile rolled into the cave. Bruce jumped and and came over to Duke.

“What are you still doing up?”

“Bruce, would you ever disown me?”

Bruce frowned and pulled off the cowl. “No, Duke. Of course not.”

Duke nodded. “Would you ever break your no-kill rule just for me?”

Bruce smiled and shook his head. “Never.”

“Okay, most important question,” Duke paused and took a deep breath, “Would you ever blame me for something that isn't my fault?”

“Not if I can help it, I promise you that.”

Duke took another deep breath and nodded. “Alright.” He then in one swift movement pulled out the glitter bomb from behind his back, and threw it at the Dark Knight of Gotham. The Caped Crusader. The Batman.

Duke turned and bolted, leaving a stunned Bruce Wayne in his wake. Once he was in the stairwell, he turned in time to see Bruce completely covered in purple glitter. He looked down at himself, then up to the heavens.

“STEPHANIE!!!” He yelled.

* * * * *

“That was legendary, Narrows!”

Duke grinned back at Jason. Sure, lobbing a glitter bomb at the guy who was currently giving you a home (not to mention said guy was  THE BATMAN) had been one of the worst experiences of his life, but even he had to admit it was funny.

“Seriously, Duke,” Tim replied, “I don't think I could have done that.”

“And the dialogue leading up to it!” Dick grinned as he sat next to Duke on the couch.

“It was worthy of cake,” Damian replied, a smile on his face.

“Speaking of cake!” Stephanie announced as she strolled into the room, a large cake in hand. On the top read 'one of us'. She set it down on the coffee table in front the sofa.

Cassandra grinned as she handed Duke the cake knife. “One of us,” she said, and the chant was soon picked up.

“One of us! One of us! Once of Us!”

Duke grinned as he sliced through the cake. Everyone cheered.

“So how do you feel, Duke? Got the crazies yet?” Stephanie asked as she collapsed on the sofa.

Duke grinned. “Not yet.”

Jason laughed. “Give it some time, kiddo.”

Duke settles back and took a bite of his cake – blue velvet – and pressed play on the movie. Everyone settled down, eating cake and enjoying The Incredibles.

* * * *

A few hours later when Duke was the only awake, Bruce quietly walked into the room.

“How'd initiation go?”

Duke sighed contentedly. “Good.”

Bruce smiled. “Get some sleep. You did well tonight.”

Duke didn't bother trying to figure out the implications of that sentence, opting instead to settle back into the cuddle pile. Cass, tucked under his arm, Damian on his lap, Dick wrapped around his other side, Stephanie atop Jason, and Jason and Tim woven into the chaos of limbs. It was warm and strangely comfortable.

Duke sighed, smiling. It's nice, he thought, belonging.

[peebleswrites]

Can I pleaseeee request something with Ulquiorra!? It's difficult to see him being sweet or romantic but I'm ready for whatever he can give 🤣

GASP. YAY. FIRST REQUEST. THANK YOU. Gotta say, this was a challenge! But it was always really fun and I enjoyed writing this piece. I hope you like it!

ULQUIORRA X FEMALE!READER

About three months had gone by since the Arrancars mysteriously appeared in the world of the living, sans the previously deep seeded hatred of humans and Shinigami. In short, they had no evil intentions whatsoever and seemed curious, some more than others, over the lifestyle of humans.

Everyone was of course wary, worried they’d fly off the handle and a war would once again loom on the horizon in the minds of both the soul society and the world of the living. Until Y/N was the first to offer an extension of goodwill to the once evildoers, thus triggering a snowball affect of successful communication between the three parties.

And so, the former Espada remained in the world of the living, assimilating into the culture and assuming somewhat normal lives!

“Say Y/N,” Orihime began one afternoon during lunch upon the roof. All eyes trained to the busty bubble of joy as she posed a question in Y/N’s direction.

“What’s your type? I mean, what sort of guy are you interested in?” Pretty much everyone was equally surprised as they were curious which included a certain arrancar who’d normally find such drabble ridiculous and an utter waste of time. 

Since his arrival, or rather, since those of his kind had been accepted in this world, Ulquiorra had taken something of an interest in Y/N. She was the first to accept him, all of them, and he’d always been curious concerning her reasoning. Surely, she intended to gain something by having them as allies, right? Y/N was just a human. It would make sense for her to align herself with the strong.

Yet…she didn’t appear to him as the type to use people for her own advantage. This only made her all the more interesting. As such, he used any and all opportunities afforded to him. All in efforts to garner what her true intentions were.

This was one of those opportunities.

“My type? Mmm…I guess someone who’s smart.” Y/N started before considering the rest of her response.

“Heh, that excludes you, Shinigami.” Grimmjow was first to comment, roughly punching Ichigo in the shoulder with that snarl of a grin covering his feral features. The jab nor the remark was taken well by the aforementioned male who soon retaliated with an equal amount of force.

“What the hell?! That means you too, dumbass!” And of course, that triggered the beginning of their usual bout which everyone had gotten so used to, it was pretty much ignored.

“I do like the strong, silent type, too. Oh! And a bit of spontaneity! You know, keeps things interesting!” While everyone seemed to agree, secretly they began to wonder just who among them she might be interested in. Meanwhile Ulquiorra was on an entirely different wavelength.

If Y/N found these qualities to be appealing, perhaps he could gain her trust by assuming these roles and therefore fulfill this self-appointed purpose of discovering her true intentions, thus deciding for himself if she were truly someone worthy of his trust.

No, it didn’t sound at all crazy in his head.

He has the smart part down and feels sufficiently confident in his intellect. Nothing to worry about there. The same can be said of his strength and more so of his silence. He is neither loud, nor boisterous. And while he wouldn’t call himself antisocial, he is prone to speak when he feels it is necessary to speak. Silence with a purpose.

That leaves the spontaneity.

In order to tackle this trait efficiently, he took to the human world dictionary!

“Performed or occurring as a result of a sudden inner impulse or inclination and without premeditation or external stimulus…” This may be something of a challenge for him. He never acts without thinking, without purpose. In fact, he is hard pressed to believe he could start. But not entirely convinced…yes, he could do this.

He would start by following Y/N. Not in the creepy stalker sense but more along the lines of trying to get to know her likes without actually asking himself. He would use the ever talkative Orihime to do his bidding.

“What sort of candy do you like, Y/N? I like something sweet and tangy but also sour and a little bitter with a fluffy kind of texture!” Dear gods, what could she possibly be describing was the expression that Ulquiorra currently wore while listening to the conversation. Y/N assumed a rather uneasy expression before responding accordingly.

“I like F/C. Not really a fan of much else.” Y/N’s response was simple something Ulquiorra could appreciate and perhaps do something with.

“So that’s what she likes…”

The next day, all eyes were on the former fourth espada when he strolled into class, dragging a large sack behind him which he dumped onto Y/N’s desk without a word. She stared at him then the sack partially obscuring her vision before opening her mouth to respond

“Uh…Ulquiorra? What’s this?”

“Don't ask useless questions.” And that was all he said before casually walking to his chair like he didn’t rouse the entire class with a cloud of confusion. With furrowed brows, Y/N peeked into the sack, only to spot copious amount of her favorite candy! It looked like a whole year’s supply of it! What the heck…

Who could’ve known that he’d been listening in on her conversation with Orihime? Or that he’d continue to do such in order to exercise this growing need to display his spontaneity. Which, he realized at one point, wasn’t really spontaneous at all because he was thinking about these acts way too hard!

Like when she expressed a desire to have more rice in her lunch, so he proceeded to give her extra portions the next day. Or when she grew tired during gym and he suddenly picked her up over his shoulder to run the rest of her laps. Or when she complained over the lack of sleep she was getting due to the neighbor’s dog barking all night so he insisted on training the canine not to be noisy.

Okay so…maybe he was being spontaneous, but Y/N had grown suspicious enough and needed some answers.

“Ah…Ulquiorra? Could I talk to you for a moment?” Y/N approached him after class one day, appearing somewhat nervous. He agreed with a simple nod while teeming on the inside with anticipation. This could quite possibly be the moment he has been working for so diligently. His efforts were at last being acknowledged.

“Uh so…listen, it’s about uhm…how you’ve been acting recently…” If it wasn’t obviously, Y/N was having a hard time expressing what she really wanted to say. Ulquiorra, of course, noticed this.

“Speak, woman.” A curt response that Y/N honestly should’ve expected prompted nothing more than a sigh.

“What’s your problem?!” Which triggered an explosive response that Ulquiorra honestly didn’t see coming if the sight of his eyes widening were any indication.

“Elaborate.” Eyes that soon softened to their normal size while gleaming with hints of mild apprehension for he never expected her of all people to express feelings of displeasure with him.

“You keep doing these weird things! First it was the candy! Then all the rice! Then you carried me around the track even when I told you to put me down! Now my neighbor is telling me you trained their dog! Are you making fun of me? Is this some arrancar way of bullying?!”

“You believe I am bullying you?”

“Yes!”

She was yelling at him. And calling him a bully, of all things. How could his intentions have been so horribly misinterpreted? How could she misunderstand him to such a degree? Could he have been wrong? Were his methods misguided or incorrect? It would seem he would need to evaluate his form of spontaneity and employ a different tactic.

“I see. I will try something else, then.” Yes, he would go back to the drawing board, reconsider his options, his resources, and try other ways of being spontaneous.

“Wait!” Y/N name suddenly grabbed onto his arm. His eyes instantly fell to her hands. Her touch triggered a slither of a response, a tingling sensation that was unfamiliar. When’s the last time anyone had laid non-threatening hands on him, he wondered.

“What?” Visibly she flinched back but maintained her countenance alongside the ever-present confusion.

“What are you trying to do? What’s all this about? I want to know!” This expression. The raw emotion on her face. He remembered it well. It was this stubborn, foolish disposition she maintained that played a key role in the Shinigami taking their presence as a non-threat. It was this expression that led him to find a purpose through her.

It was this very same gleam that triggered perhaps the most spontaneous act he’d committed thus far, the cupping of his hand upon her cheek. He wouldn’t be able to explain what caused him to do it or why his hand stayed. He just knew her cheek felt soft and warm and he sort liked the way her expression shifted as his hand remained.

“Your ‘type,’ as you humans refer to it, is someone who is spontaneous, is it not?” He brandished his usual emotionless façade, awaiting a response from her aside from the stunned silence she seemed to be trapped in.

“I…you…ah…you want to be my type…?” Dumbfounded. She was utterly dumbfounded. And he couldn’t understand why she was behaving so shocked. Wasn’t he being obvious?

“In a manner of speaking, yes. I see now that my actions are ineffective.” How ridiculous. For him to fail at such a task was unprecedented. He could hardly fathom such a thing. As such, he needed to take time away, regroup, and think of different ways to convey this message to her.

“If you’ll excuse me.” His hand fell away from her cheek only to be grabbed by one of hers. A second extension of contact and a second shock that shot up his senses. He eyed her once again with his empty stare, but she didn’t appear at all perturbed by it. In fact, she offered a rather hopeless smile.

“I…I think it’s working. I mean, you’ve got my attention.” Once again, she stunned him. This time, not with her gleaming determination but with a meek smile and subtle, gentle, squeezing of his hand. He couldn’t have imagined such a small gesture could be so impactful. How strange…

“Oh? I will continue, then.”

“Wait, no—.”

It would seem he was at least on the right track to deciphering her true intentions while simultaneously gaining her trust. Surely, he’d get it this spontaneous act right eventually.

A/N: Poor Ulquiorra. He means well. Again, hope you enjoy! Also this is my first time doing this so I hope the format isn't weird? Thanks!

[monobleamour]

he’s the one

A/N: so today in my e-class we spent like 2 hours trying to draw our names bc all of them are stupid enough not to understand how to do it😂meanwhile i started writing this at that time😁

summary: y/n unexpectedly bumps into her soulmate, Harry but let’s say things are not meant to be the way the are becoming, not after all this time.

pairing(s): harry styles x reader

word count: 2,617

What is love? How it affects you? Why it affects you? Why is it so hard to believe that you’re in love but so easy to fall? How do you know when you love someone? What makes you fall in love and what makes you fall out of love? Mostly, what’s the craziest thing you’d do for love?

It had been a while since she last loved. Being honest she was scared to fall in love in again. Once she felt love and peace in her lover’s hug, but then it faded. You can’t blame them for falling out of love with each other, you can’t control feelings after all. But the thing is, he left as soon as she fell.

She was scared, she really was. She was scared that she may try in her whole life to find someone, but never stay with them, because they weren’t as good as him. They weren’t Harry. But love means being happy if the other is happy, even if you’re not the reason why.

Harry loved her. He still does, just not the same way. He always felt her as her best friend, so he still does. When he and y/n broke up, they decided to remain friends, no hard feelings. He was glad he still had her into his life, he couldn’t imagine a life without her, his friend. 

There was a time he would look inside her eyes and see a bright future, with kids and a happy ending story. But this isn’t Disney, happy endings are for tales, the ugly truth is for life. Now he would look at her and see just his reflection.

The thing is that they never moved on in new ‘’stable’’ relationships. Yes, they held other people’s hands, but they still hold each other’s heart.

You never truly move on, once you love someone you can’t unlove them. Even if you convince yourself that you have, you haven’t. y/n knew it. She knew it when she started dating Harry. Somehow she saw the end before it even began, but she kept going closer to the end because she wanted to have a life remembering that once there was a guy that he really loved her. He loved her, just not enough to keep her.

She was just a girl. A shy, young woman. She was one of all these billions of women that exist, that he can want. But he chose her, he wanted her, he looked at her, he loved her.

Her.

She didn’t even know why she was thinking about it, it had been almost two years. It was a beautiful evening and she had to enjoy it. California was crowded with people so why the heck she still felt alone?

Who knows, maybe this time she will bump into someone who is not Harry, because that’s how they first met, so why couldn’t this happen again. Same story, different person.

She went for a walk, and she got bored because life wasn’t easy but either pretty. She looked at the sky and wondered ‘’if anything happens for a reason what is her goddamn reason?’’

And she kept looking up, until she felt coffee covering all of her. Was that the moment when she met someone new or just a person, a normal one.

‘‘I am so- I’m so sorry miss.’‘ he said, not looking at her but at the shirt.

Her shirt looked familiar in his eyes, and his voice sounded familiar in her ears.

‘‘Harry?’‘

But no, she wasn’t that lucky enough. 

Same old Harry, same old story, same old love.

‘‘Ugh- long time, no see huh?’‘ 

‘‘Well it’s not that easy being around someone..that you know’‘ she inhaled ‘‘..had a past together.’‘ she nodded.

‘‘Yeah. Right.’‘ he guilty, but really he didn’t have a reason to. Harry was a human being and he had the right to fall in love and fall out of it, even if it breaks someone’s heart. Sometimes the truth might make the others angry but at least it makes you free. ‘‘ugh’‘ he scratched his head and said ‘‘it was a pleasure to see you, y/n, i missed you.’‘

I missed you she thought, oh god, doesn’t he know that you have to mean the words you say, or at least when you say something make sure the both of you feel the same way so you don’t fuck ‘em up? ‘’Yeah, it’s been a while. Well see you around.’’ she smiled and just walked away. She walked away from him for the second time in her while.

As soon as y/n went home, she sat on her couch, rested her arms in her lap and covered her face with her palms. Honestly she didn’t know what to think. Seeing Harry after all this time was nice, she had missed him. And being honest she missed him every day since the day the broke up. Y/n always loved Harry. She will always love Harry and she is willing to take anything. 

But sometimes that isn’t enough, is it?

Harry loved her and he knew that was the begging and end of everything but he also knew true love stories don’t have happy endings. When he and y/n decided to break up he thought it would be easy, once he had convinced himself he didn’t love her anymore. But the truth was way too far.

When he realized, he wondered if it’s better to have loved and lost or never to have loved at all, at least there would be no pain. Right away he wanted to find her, talk to her, say to her everything he never did and whatever she wanted to hear. But he was too selfish to say sorry and a little insecure to risk his own heart again.

But he also loved her. He broke her once, he wouldn’t let himself break her again because he wanted her. You are willing to take everything for the one person you love, everything, even they don’t feel the same way. You gotta adore them like it’s the only thing you’ll ever do.

The thing was that they were both scared.

y/n hated to imagine how her life is going to be without Harry. Her future without him waking up next to her and sleeping with her. The kids they’ll never have, they’ll never get to grow and say ‘’we made it’’ because actually they never made it. But she liked to think that her heart is going to love again.

On the other hand, Harry liked to imagine how his life would be if y/n was still there. His future with her waking up next to him and sleeping with him. The kids they’d have, the way they’d grow up and say ‘’we made it’’ because they’d made it. But he hated to think that his heart isn’t going to love again someone else.

Love is complicated, but being in love is difficult. If they both are willing then there’s a chance. But in the end it doesn’t matter how strong someone is, everyone’s heart is fragile. And the only reason the truth hurts it’s because we live in a society full of lies, but in the end there’s so much love out there. And the only way to find it is to accept it, because whatever we refuse to accept is what really haunt us. Like, love.

y/n thought she had broken Harry’s heart because he fell in love with the idea of her but not her, but only is she knew how tragic things were, once he broke his own heart.

A soft knock at her door distracted her thoughts. She didn’t want to open the door. Not because she was tired or something but because she knew who was. But she opened, like she always does.

And there he was standing right in front of her.

‘‘Hi.’‘ Harry says putting his hands in his pockets.

‘‘Hey.’‘ she replies resting her head in the door.

‘‘So?’‘ what the fuck was he saying ‘‘is everything alright?’‘ he really had no idea how to start a conversation. He was lost for words. Didn’t even know why.

‘‘Okay.’‘ she says letting out a small sigh ‘‘so you’re telling me that you came all the way here just to make sure i’m fine?’‘ she rolled her eyes ‘‘I’m not buying it Harry, I know you.’‘

She really knew him, and because of that she knew what he wanted to tell her. The words she had been waiting for so many months, but was she actually ready? She knew that whatever he decides to say this time, he’ll mean it. And she was afraid to hear the words, because words come out from the heart and not the brain.

But she was also afraid that she won’t hear the words she had been praying to listen to, all along. She wanted it to be him. She wanted it to be him so badly. But in the end not all the wishes come true, do they?

‘‘Did I fuck things up?’‘ he asked, but he already knew the answer.

‘‘Well.’‘ she started ‘‘mostly like everything but at least you found out.’‘ her innocent tone of voice mixed with the guilty actions (practically he didn’t do something bad but it hurt at the memory of losing her) of his, taken of her mouth, made a bittersweet result.

‘‘Sorry.’‘ he was still looking at her eyes, and really, it was aching a lot.

Sincerely, it had been a long time since he last told her he’s sorry, looking at her and making a huge mistake. But was this one a mistake? He had convinced himself that every time he looked at her he saw nothing, but he knew. He knew that he was lying to himself, because when he looked at her he could see everything he ever wanted. And now y/n was the one thing he wanted. 

Now, then and forever.

‘’It’s a little bit late for apologies, don’t you think so?’’ she actually wondered if this time he came to stay or just fix things and leave. But truly, you can’t fix something that is apparently broken. Even if you’re the one who did it.

She loved Harry, but when it came to him, she would become insecure. Because love means falling, and people are afraid of heights. And she doesn’t want him to let her down when he holds her.

He didn’t quite respond and she just let him in. In her house at least.

‘‘y/n you know that-’‘ he started but she quickly interrupted him by continuing herself the sentence 

‘’It was a big mistake and I never meant to hurt you.’’ she ironically smiled ‘‘well guess what Harry, you did.’‘ she was nothing but devastated.

‘‘Babe-’‘ did you just- yes he did.

‘‘You are not allowed to call me that anymore!’‘ she replied the fastest she had ever responded to someone.

 She felt her heart breaking. Again. And he was the reason why. Again.

‘‘When I told you I didn’t love you anymore I didn’t mean it. I had to do it because you deserved way better. I couldn’t be selfish at that, not when it came to you.’’ 

She wanted to punch him but really mentally she was into him and physically she felt over, over him. He broke her heart, then came and told her he didn’t mean to? She was confused.

‘‘No Harry you fucking meant it!’‘ and as his voice was still calm, she started yelling. ‘‘You told me I wasn’t enough and I should be better! You told me you didn’t love me. I would prefer to hear that you cheated or maybe did the worst thing, everything. I would prefer to hear everything rather than what you told me.’‘

‘‘You don’t know-’‘ she knew, but she hoped she didn’t.

‘‘The less I know the better, Harry.’‘ and her anger was reduced.

‘‘Y/n we were something. Together we’re more like everything.’‘ he just wanted her, just her, how difficult could it be?

‘‘Were nothing!’‘ she has to stop lying to herself.

‘’Well, the universe has existed for billions of years and by chance we ended up living at the same time? That counts for something.’‘

She hated it. She hated when he talked like that, making her feel loved. She wished she could hate him as much as she hated this.

‘‘It doesn’t work like that Harry!’‘ she was about to cry, she fell apart, mentally. She even asked herself why was she doin’ this and not just hug him till he makes her feel more loved than she has ever felt. Till he kisses every place that she’s aching and till they find their way out, together.

‘‘We’‘ and again ‘‘made something magical. But I knew you were way too bright for me, way too good. And I loved you so telling you the opposite of what I felt was the best thing for both of us.’‘

‘‘So if that was the best thing, why you came back? she needed the truth, the real one.

‘‘I was wrong and I’m sorry.’‘ of course he was, he always is, isn’t he? ‘‘but I couldn’t let you know the truth because you would come back to me and that would break me even more. That was the only thing I didn’t trust you at.’‘ he felt like something got off his chest.

‘‘You said you saw a future.’‘ 

‘‘And I did, I still do.’‘ was he getting her back? God, two whole years without her were only accompanied by pain.

‘‘Harry.’‘ she was calm because she knew this would end soon, they would end soon and she needed it to be done soon. ‘‘If you can’t trust me with a choice, how are you supposed to trust me with a child?’‘

Good question, bad timing, no answer.

‘‘You’‘ she continued, ‘‘you’re just not the same person I fell in love with. I loved you and I’ll always love you but we’re not who we were two years ago. And for sure we aren’t going to have the same thing we had back then.’‘ she felt peace in his wrecking hell.

‘‘No, no, no.’‘ his words slowly getting out of his mouth while he was trying to apologize.

‘‘I hope you find a way to be yourself someday.’‘ 10 words were everything it needed and everything they had was gone. ‘‘Maybe that day things won’t be that bad, for both of us. But till that day, I can’t risk it Harry.’‘

He didn’t even respond, because he knew what was she saying was the truth even though it hurt the hell out of him. She was right. And he was willing to do anything for her, but some more time maybe did well for both of ‘em.

And he left again, like he always does. She didn’t hear the words she wanted to hear, those 3 little simple words, but at least she felt alright. This time, she found herself. 

She really wanted him to be the one. 

He’s not the one, he’s just one.  

After all, true love stories don’t have happy endings.

But really, what is love? How it affects you? Why it affects you? Why is it so hard to believe that you’re in love but so easy to fall? How do you know when you love someone? What makes you fall in love and what makes you fall out of love? Mostly, what’s the craziest thing you’d do for love?

What’s the craziest thing you’d do for love? Push them away to find themselves, because once they’re happy, you’re happy.

[amydancepants-peralta]

you remind me (just how good it can get)

aka, my response to @rosalitadiazz‘s prompt for #58 - “Here, take my blanket/jacket”.  It’s just a sweet little moment that popped into my head, but I hope you enjoy! 💕

you remind me (just how good it can get)

Waving into the camera, Amy blows another set of kisses towards the video image of her son as Karen lifts his tiny (and adorably chubby, honestly she just wants to bite it!) arm out in a miniature wave.  From behind her she hears Jake call out that he loves them both, and she echoes the sentiment while Jake wraps one arm around her waist, pulling her closer until her back rests against his chest.  Together, they bid their son goodnight, and with one last wave Karen disconnects the call, the image of their little boy quickly replaced by the photo of the three of them leaving the hospital that takes pride of place on Amy’s screen.  

Thanks to some diligent saving (and being under the command of a forward-thinking captain like Holt), Amy had been able to take the last few months off on maternity leave.  In just three days she would be heading back to work, and while the FOMOW part of her was dying to button up her uniform again, there was a larger part of Amy that was just not ready to say goodbye to her little Leo for anything more than an hour or two. 

Tonight had been a trial run, with Jake’s mom Karen volunteering to stay and babysit while he and Amy head out for a long overdue date night.  It had felt kind of wonderful, to do her hair and makeup and blush when she notices her husband’s appreciative glances as he passes her in their bedroom.  Seemed like forever since she’d felt his hand brush against the small of her back as she walked into a restaurant, or had brushed her feet playfully against his underneath the table.  

The last phone call was only their third for the entire night - an admirable feat, considering both of them had nearly asked the other to turn around and head back home mere minutes after closing their apartment door (and maybe once more after their taxi pulled away from the curb).  It had helped greatly that Karen had sent them hourly updates - a series of photos that only seemed to increase in cuteness the later into the evening they got - and after paying the bill Jake had gripped Amy’s hand in his, leading her out of the restaurant and suggesting one last call home before it got too late.  

And now their son was about to go to sleep, and she wasn’t there to smother his face with kisses, and Amy felt like her heart was stretched across the boroughs of Brooklyn right now.  

Running his hands up and down her shoulders, Jake brushes a kiss along Amy’s hairline, and with a sigh she tucks her phone back into her purse.  “C’mon, there’s a gelato place up here that I’ve heard has a really good choc fudge.”

“Hold on, I just need ..” she pauses, turning towards Jake and waiting he’s facing her before wrapping her arms around his waist, holding herself tightly to him as she rests her head against his chest.  The back of her hands skim against the soft, familiar material of his jacket lining, and Amy closes her eyes as his arms envelop her body and the total Jakeness of his embrace calms her pining heart.  

He holds her as they stand together underneath the front awning that covered the restaurant’s expanse of windows, keeping his grip tight as Amy breathes in his cologne and sighs.  The bustle of the city around them fades away, the click of a group of women’s heels relegating only to gentle ticks as they pass them by, and she buries her head further in.

She feels the vibrations in Jake’s chest as he speaks, his tone only slightly betraying his concern.  “You okay, babe?”

Her cheek rustles against his shirt as she nods, the dark olive green button-down that has always been a favourite, and replies “I am now.”  Tipping her chin upwards, Amy smiles up at her husband when his eyes lock onto hers.  She hadn’t realised just how much she’d missed nights like this; whether it was gripping her husband’s arm as they walked down the street, or bathing in his smile from across the table as he talks.  “We need to do this more often.”

“We really do.”

“Let’s make a new rule.  One date night a month, minimum.  We’ll swap shifts and plan out babysitters … merge our schedules and make it happen.  Okay?”

Jake’s smile is warm, and his hands dip lower on her waist before sliding up towards her back, and it’s such a comforting feeling that Amy can feel herself begin to melt all over again.  “Are you asking me to go steady with you, Santiago?”

Amy grins, moving her head into an enthusiastic nod.  “But only for like … 70 years or so.”

“Noice.  Let’s make it an even hundred.”

“Deal.”  Her head falls back down to Jake’s chest, taking another deep breath in.  The simplicity of this moment - of being wrapped up in the arms of the man she loves while the world goes on around them - was exactly what she had been craving.  After months of next to no sleep and more nursery rhymes than she ever thought she’d know, it was nice to feel like a human being again.  

“What do you say we grab some dessert, take a walk around the city for a little while, and then head on home to our son?”  Jake mumbles, punctuating his sentence with another kiss into her hair.  

Our son.  Even with it now being a reality, the sound of those two words together still makes Amy beam.  She nods, tightening her grip before pulling back ever so slightly, resting her hands against Jake’s chest.  “So … our son.  A lot of change around here, huh?”

His laugh bounces off of Amy’s chest and settles straight into her heart, the same joyful feeling she got the first time he laughed at something she said hitting the same now just as it did then, and her own laughter bubbles out of her as he slows down, sliding his thumb along the edge of her cheek.  His eyes turn soft, drawing her in without any great effort, and it occurs to Amy that if their son ends up with his father’s eyes, she doesn’t stand a single chance.  

“I love you,”  Jake whispers, lowering his head to meet her halfway, pressing his lips against hers so sweetly that not for the first time Amy wonders how she ever survived without Jake’s kisses.  His hand - always so strong and steady - slides up the middle of her back, and Amy responds by wrapping her arms around his neck, hooking him in as their lips press harder together.  If only she could have told those two colleagues, in an evidence locker so long ago, just what kind of joy would be waiting for them both.  She’s not sure she would have believed it then, just as it seems almost surreal now.  

Their lips part, and as Jake rests his forehead against hers Amy replies, “I love you too, Jake.”

His hand slides along her arm as they pull away, gliding downwards until their palms meet and he tangles their fingers together so seamlessly it’s clear that’s where each of they belong, and Amy smiles at the thought as he leads them down the street.

Despite the long sleeves of her dress, the cool evening air hits her skin unannounced, and Amy shivers slightly.  Jake’s hand grips hers tighter in response before pulling away entirely, and just as she looks over in protest Amy notices that he’s already in the process of shedding a layer of clothing.  

“Here, take my jacket.”  He smiles, already covering her back with the leather before Amy can say another world.  The warmth of her husband’s touch washes over her, the scent of him lingering slightly as she grips the edges, running her thumbnail along the jagged teeth of the open zipper.

There’s a slight blush that begins to warm her cheeks, and Amy looks up at Jake with a grateful smile.  He’s always looking out for her, picking up on what she needs sometimes before it’s even occurred to herself, and she knows that Jake considers himself lucky to be with her, but truly; she is the lucky one.  

Jake breaks the silence with a tiny shrug, rubbing one hand along the back of his neck as he speaks.  “Would it be totally insane if I told you just how much I miss Leo right now?”

“Oh heck no.  I miss him so much it hurts.”

“He’s been so good with Mom.  He really is the best baby.”

“The best,” Amy agrees, craning her neck upwards to meet Jake halfway as he leans in for another kiss.  His jacket is draped over her shoulders, so she cannot reach out to grip Jake’s arm the way she’s done a thousand times before, but her hands sneak out from under the front and take a loose grip of his shirt, leaning in to whisper - “Why don’t we get our gelato to go and head on home … and maybe later, we can have our dessert.”

Jake’s eyebrows raise slightly as he reads between the lines, nodding quickly.  “Sounds good, excellent plan, let’s do that, cool cool cool.”

His left hand slides around her waist as they walk just that little bit faster towards the gelato shop, discussing the all-important topic of which flavours are superior to the others, and Amy cannot wait for a thousand more moments just like this.  For ice cream cones covered in sprinkles (for both Jake and their son); for walks in the park and play time on the swings … and with any luck, another chance to watch as a life begins to grow inside her.  

Life was amazing, when you surrounded yourself with the right people, and with Jake by her side Amy was beginning to discover just how good it can get. ��