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Death Wish 14
Warnings: non/dubcon, mentions of crime, violence/abuse and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Character: mob!Bucky Barnes
Part of the mob drabbles au
Summary: you’re desperate for a way out of your life and you ask a powerful man for help (plus!reader)
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️
Photo Inspo
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When Castro leaves, there’s no buffer left to you. As usual, you have no defense against this man. You feel Bucky watching you as you avoid him.
You take in the decor. As nice as it is, it’s just another reminder of the distance between you and this man. He has everything and you have nothing. You are entirely at his whim. 
He sighs and you sense the subtle shift behind you as he stands. You glance over your shoulder as he strips off his jacket. He stretches his neck to either side and it pops. 
“May as well get settled, doll, too late to send you off now,” he drawls. 
You face him entirely and nod. Resignation isn’t such a new feeling to you. He looks at you with a fire in his eyes. He comes forward and you plant your feet. 
“Are you excited? At all? A wedding? A wardrobe? The most powerful man in the city?” He stops before you and tilts his head. 
You stare at him and open your mouth. You should lie to him but you can’t force the words out. Despite your speechless gape, he doesn’t appear disappointed. He cups your cheek and his tongue peeks out over his lip and he considers you. 
“I respect that. You’re too honest for your own good.” His thumb brushes up to your temple. “So I’ll ask the big question, do you think... do you think I’m handsome, doll? I have been told I got nice eyes but I got a lot of people around me who will tell me whatever I wanna hear.” 
You flinch and narrow your eyes. You feel a dimple pinch. He smirks. 
“You think that’s funny,” he states. 
“I guess. You don’t need me to answer that, do you?” 
He takes a breath, “maybe not but I’d like to hear it from you.” 
You look down then flick your eyes back up, “yes, you are handsome, Mr. Barnes.” 
He snickers and brings his other hand up, cradling your head gently. “And you’re gorgeous, baby.” You scrunch your face and clucks, “don’t make that face, you know it too.” 
“Barnes--” 
“Bucky,” he insists. 
“Bucky,” you echo wistfully. 
“Hey, I know I gotta treat you right or one day you’ll find someone to take care of me--” 
You shove him, not thinking. His words lash you like a fiery whip. He takes a step back, though you know that you truly can’t impact him that much. 
“Don’t you dare—How could you say that to me?” 
His eyes drift placidly then spark as they fall on you again, “you play innocent with everyone else. It’s perfect, but not with me. I know what you’re capable of.” 
Your nose tingles, “you don’t understand--” 
“I don’t?” He arches a brow. “I don’t understand the bruises on your neck or the desperation in your voice? I didn’t deliver you exactly what you wanted on a platter?” 
“Why are you doing all this? What—do I have to get on my knees and thank you?” You step forward then stop. You sneer and drop to your knees. You clasp your hands together with a clap. “Oh, Bucky Barnes, the King, thank you for putting that gun in my hand. Thank you for taking those years of abuse and twisting them into your prize. Thank you. Is that good enough?” 
He looks down at you. His expression is clear, calm. He holds out his hands. 
“Get up,” he demands. 
“No, you want me on my knees. You want me beneath you. To know that I owe you this life.” You tug but he doesn’t let go. “I don’t want it. I never did. I just wanted... I wanted my sisters to be free.” 
He slowly bends his knees and lets you go. He comes eye level with you as you take a breath. He scoops you up in a single motion and you cry out. He hikes you up, turning you sideways in his arms. You push on his chest, your other arm stuck against him. 
“Barnes--” 
“Why don’t you just call me James then? If you’re going to act like my mother,” he growls as he marches past the sofa. 
“I’m sorry, I didn’t--” 
“You meant it. Goddamn it, doll, that’s as genuine as you’ve been with me. Don’t think I’m stupid,” he takes you into the foyer and turns up the large staircase. You wriggle as panic swells in me. 
“Please, I’m... I don’t know what I’m doing. I told you--” 
You voice fizzles as he remains silent, his expression stone. You look down and shudder in his embrace. He carries you to the second floor and down a hallway. He doesn’t stop until he reaches the four-postered bed, dropping you onto the plush cushion. 
“All you need to worry about knowing how to do, is keeping me happy,” he snarls. “That’s it.” He glares at you with a fearsome leer. “I told you, all I want is you. Not your lies, not your groveling, just you.” 
You prop yourself up on your elbows, “I...” you search his face. “I don’t know how to give you that.” 
He steps closer and bends over you slowly. A hot breath plumes from his nose as he plants his hands on either side of you. You drag yourself up on the bed and he lowers himself to trap you there. He leans in until his nose touches yours. 
“You don’t gotta try so hard,” he brushes his nose on your cloyingly. “You just gotta... be...” his traces down to your cheek, nuzzling you. “Doll,” he tilts his head to nibble your lower lip. He growls and pulls on it until it slips free. 
He frames your chin as he comes down onto an elbow. He crushes his lips to yours and you hum in surprise. His tongue begs for entrance and you easily abide his plea. His hand slips down to your throat as he invades your mouth. Like everything he ever taken, he claims you with brute force. 
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arilevenatz · 2 days ago
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Ironheart - Teaser
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Pairing: captain!hongjoong x reader
Genre: Angst, action
Word count: 184
Warnings: Child Abuse, Blood, injury, graphic Description of Injury, gore, pirate king hongjoong, lethal face card of the cameos (there will be two surprise cameos 😏)
A/N: so yeah captain hongjoong is here. Not gonna lie, I cried while writing this. It has been in the back of my mind for a long time and I have finally written it.I don't know if it's good or not you guys will be the judge of that! and please like and reblog, it really motivates me to write, thank you!!
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“Second Blade,” he said, his tone casual but firm, “before we leave, there’s something I need to clarify. You’ve barely spoken a word since we met. Let’s change that.”
The Second Blade paused, tilting its masked head slightly, and finally spoke. “What do you wish to clarify, Captain?”
Hongjoong turned back to the Second Blade, his smirk returning. “You’ve already got my respect, Second Blade. And that’s not something I give out lightly.”
The Second Blade inclined her head slightly, her voice calm and unbothered. “Respect is earned, not given. I will continue to prove myself, Captain.”
Hongjoong chuckled, stepping back. “I like you, Second Blade. You’re full of surprises. But if you’re going to serve on the Halazia, you’ll need a name. I can’t keep calling you by rank.”
She hesitated, as if the thought hadn’t occurred to her. Finally, she said, “Call me whatever you wish. It makes no difference to me.”
Hongjoong’s smirk widened. “Then I’ll think of something fitting. Welcome aboard, Second Blade.”
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alieinthemorning · 11 hours ago
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Mission Accomplished [Caleb]
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Content: Major Character Death, Angst, Written Before Caleb's Official Release, Reader-Insert
Pronouns: None
Note: I see Caleb within the childhood friend trope. Anything outside of that makes me uncomfortable, so I won't be engaging with it in any sort of way.
Reblogs: Let me know that you enjoy my work and want to see more, so don’t forget to like and reblog (and comment in the tags. I love seeing people’s rambles in the tags)!
This work’s concepts, plot and original characters are my own which means I do not allow any sort of creative theft nor do I allow my work to be entered into any sort of A.I. bots. Thank you for respecting my space and boundaries
Wanna support me? Here’s my Ko-Fi!
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“It doesn’t have to be this way!” You had your gun aimed at him, body trembling in palpable fear.  
Caleb frowns. This was the hunter of the UNICORNS Alpha Team? He holds back a sigh of irritation. Caleb is privy to most things concerning you, and your placement in the UNICORN Alpha division was no feat made by your own merits. You were placed there by EVER’s discretion, and it is honestly a miracle that you haven’t died already. 
This time he does sigh. You truly are pathetic. He wonders why he truly was created if this was all he ever had to go up against. 
You were nothing more than a failure. 
Your voice cuts through his thoughts. “Please, Caleb!”
Your plea makes him pause. He takes a moment to think about what was most likely your very simple thought process. 
You probably were caught up in all the memories of your time together. For you, they were special, to him, it was nothing more than a mission. You were caught up in a false him that never truly existed, and now you were begging for him to “go back to normal”. Unfortunately for you, while you were dying and being sheltered by memory lost. He was forced to live out this hell. 
So, even if the two of you did run away together it would just end up with you both being dragged back to hell to do this damned song and dance all over again. However, only he would be alive for the descent. And what would be the point of that when he has two functional legs to carry him there?
BANG
“Subject 001 has been terminated.” 
“Copy. Bring it to the drop-off point.”
Caleb lifts his gaze from your lifeless body to the cloudless sky. He shifts his cap forward to shield his eyes from the onslaught of rain.
A mirthless laugh bubbles to the surface. “It’s a terrible day for rain.”  
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I had a whole other homecoming fic planned, but his trailer blew that shit straight outta the water, so y'all are getting this instead :)
I hope this hurt.
Feral shit incoming later at the usual place tho lmao
Ko-Fi | Masterlist
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erabu-san · 2 years ago
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Hmm I apologize again for the rant !
It is not the first time I am doing it. I might forgot to put "please don't tag it as ship" under my drawing of tighnari cyno. Please, do not !
I love them as best friend, I love them as brother/found family, I don't mind the queerplatonic relationship at all
But their romantic side make me pretty uncomfortable. No hate ! It is my own taste.
Shippers are always welcomed and I am so glad you like my content 💕 but all my art concerning them (unless I tag the ship) are purely platonic. I just ask for some respect of my taste and not reblog my art with the ship tag.
I don't want to block, because I am genuinely glad you enjoy my work and as a young artist, it means a lot for me. Thank you so much 🙇 !! But as a human, I can't deny how uneasy it makes me feel.
Thank you for understanding !
#rant#I blame nobody#i am clearly not used to block ): I should tho but I know those who tag ship are not mean at all </3#it is fine if you don't know.#but i saw people reblogging my art with shiptag even if i said “do not”#my art is like my only safe place please respect it#this ship is so popular and I clearly stop to interact with the fandom because of that#i clearly ignore when I saw one in my timeline /dashboard becausz I can't do nothinf against it except masking the account#but I beg you. not. under. my. post.#not in my DM#why i feel obligated to justify myself 😭#but yeah !!! the ship is valid and full of greenflag !! wholesome !!#but I only enjoy them platonically !!! please respect 😭😭😭 I SWEAR I AM DESESPERATE WHY IT IS SO HARD FOR SOME TO RESPECT THAT OMG#gosh on twitter someone said me “ignore ??? what did you expect ??? it is the most popular ship”#I AM TRYING I AM LITERALLY NOT SEARCHING FOR FANART 😀#feeding myself with my own food#that's why I am so grateful for people who support me. thank you. 😭#and how could I ignore a comment under my post ??? interaction are so important for me I read everything#ANYWAY SORRY FOR RANTING !!! IT IS CLEARLY A /NOTMEAN POST !!!#next time I won't forgrt “do not tag it as ship”#but urgh if I do this I have to do in every post ???? 🤨#and what if I draw tighnari cyno kaveh but I don't mind ship with kaveh ??? 🤨🤨🤨 (plz still don't)#tHERE IS PLENTY OF CYN0N4RI ACCOUNT IF YOU WISH TO SEE MORE CONTENT OF THEM !! Please support them <<3 mine are platonic !#but clearly. imagine you are obsessive about two characters <<3#but their popular ship is the one who make you the most uncomfy 😀#so you decided to just stop looking at fanart and not bothering anyone 👍👍#but it came under your post and your DM 😟#AAA SORRY I AM SALTY I SWEAR I AM NOT USED TO FEEL LIKE THIS ):<#anyway plz take care ilove you mwah 🥺🥺🥺🥺💕💕
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temeraire · 7 months ago
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ingo-ingoing-ingone · 1 year ago
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October Update!
Hey everyone!
I know october is happening tomorrow, and I also know that people are gonna be drawing some art for the spooky season, including some horror type art. Both Goretober and Whumptober will be running this month so! Lots of angst and horror stuff from that alone.
I'll be reblogging some of it, so below are some tags to block if you don't wanna see!
tw blood, tw injury, tw horror, tw gore, tw death, and tw medical are all tags I can see myself using. There may be more specific ones too (such as tw mind control, or tw nonhuman for like. werewolf or vampire stuff!) The tw is there so I remember it's a WARNING for what may be present! If you think more tags are needed on a particular post or reblog, please feel free to ask me to add them! I will, of course, be using my standard angst tags as well for everything.
I just wanted to give a heads up. I myself am dropping a ghostly oneshot tomorrow :) I hope those of us that enjoy spooky and horror type works enjoy the month. And for those who don't I hope all of the tagging works and you ALSO enjoy the month! :D
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millionsknives · 1 year ago
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i don’t know why she has me blocked but if anyone is friends with @/imissthembutitwasntadisaster can you tell her to unblock me so i can reblog one of her thg posts. and then she can block me again idc
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the-daddy-here · 1 month ago
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“hello?” i scream into the void that is left of the tua fandom after the disaster we call the umbrella academy season four
“read my super cool and semi tragic fix it plus time loop maybe?” i reply back into the void after receiving no answer
“thank you!” i say as i leave the void, hopeful the void answers my call
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fairybluedreams · 2 years ago
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Hi y'all! Here is my finals campaign on why you should vote for Nani Pelekai in the @eldest-sibling-tournament today!!
Edited to add***
Poll just dropped vote Nani today!
https://www.tumblr.com/eldest-sibling-tournament/712608371217481728/eldest-sister-tournament-final-round
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ask-sentient-vehicles · 9 months ago
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Do you headcannon any engine as being part of the lgbtq+ community? You don’t have to I’m just curious. Sending blessings your way ☺️🙏🏼
Oh boy, uh, I'm scared that I'm going to get cancelled for this by other users (˃̣̣̥﹏˂̣̣̥)
They're all either straight asexual or aromantic asexual. Though a lot of people considers aces and aros to be LGBT, I don't consider myself to be part of the community despite being asexual. Not saying other aces and aros shouldn't allowed to be in it, if it makes them happy go ahead!
Technically engines are agender. They are assigned male or female but they are still machines. Machines don't have genders. I don't really have to go too deep into that. (Again, NO HATE TOWARDS NON-BINARY PEOPLE, I will never revile someone for that, I respect them for who they are, and I let them be)
TLDR; I say no, but some could say yes.
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idleglowingpixels · 1 year ago
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(Disclaimer: this post contains spoilers for the FNAF movie, and isn't being made to invalidate anyone's opinions on the material. You can like/love the movie, and/or dislike/hate the movie! Also this started as a post talking about how people say it's inaccurate to the games but it actually isn't, then eventually turned into my review of it lol.)
What I keep hearing around the internet: "This is nothing like the games, it's supposed to be an R-rated gorefest! We should've seen all five kids get brutally slaughtered and stuffed into the animatronics, not whatever that stupid intro sequence was. The games showed it so why couldn't the movie do the same?" "Why are the animatronics friendly with Abby? That's not how it is in the games, the animatronics kill anyone regardless of age." "It's hardly even scary, the games were much more terrifying than this." "Why is the movie so focused on the story? It's supposed to be about bloody murder and revenge." "This isn't a horror/comedy series, what the hell."
What FNAF games are like: -Mild to barely any gore; the most gruesome of content visually is shown via pixel minigames (Mainly FNAF 2, 3 & 4, & SL) or minor gore like the eyes popping out of the Freddy head in FNAF1's game over screen, as to not be too violent for its rating, E-12 -Animatronics are corrupted by the spirits of dead children (Missing Children's Incident (MCI) newspapers from FNAF 1), exacting vengeance on adults because of their killer, but being friendly toward other children --"Uh, by now I’m sure you’ve noticed the older models, sitting in the back room. Uh, those are from the previous location, we just use them for parts now. The idea at first was to repair them. Uh, they even started retrofitting them with some of the newer technology." (FNAF2 - NIGHT 2) --"Someone may have tampered with their facial recognition systems, we’re not sure. But the characters have been acting very unusual, almost aggressive towards the staff. They interact with the kids just fine, but when they encounter an adult, they just…stare." (FNAF2 - NIGHT 4) --I'm using the calls from FNAF 2 in reference here because it is a prequel to FNAF 1, and as far as I can tell, it was confirmed the withered animatronics from 2 are modified to become the ones in 1 ("But they were just so ugly, you know? And the smell…ugh." (FNAF 2 -- NIGHT 2) "If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I’d probably be a bit irritable at night too." (FNAF 1 -- NIGHT 1)) -The games are relatively scary in the aspect of environmental horror; dim lighting, sounds that have no origin and/or are meant to trip you up & make you uneasy, characters suddenly appearing in the doorways/entrances to your office; they are also heavily jumpscare-reliant, you either win or get jumped by one of the animatronics -The storytelling format through the games evolved over time (mainly focusing on Scott era games (FNAF1-UCN)) with more voice actors and whatnot, but the early trilogy solely relied on phone calls which were written to be morbidly awkward and funny despite the circumstances --In later games, the plot develops as Michael Afton (our (debatable) main protagonist across the franchise) goes after the restaurants & the killer, his father William in an attempt to set the children's spirits free
What the FNAF movie is like: -Mild to barely any gore, most we see is through pixel animation (the kids being lured away through the intro sequence) OR minor gore in dark lighting/silhouettes as to not be too violent for its rating, PG-13 -Animatronics are corrupted by the spirits of dead children, exacting vengeance on adults because of their killer (who in this case is manipulating their perception of memories to be their friend and ally), but being friendly toward other children --The only exception to this is when they are corrupted by William Afton's influence, in the case of them attempting to put Abby in a springlock suit (that looks like the Ella dolls from the books but I think is intended to be this universe's Circus Baby because of Abby's anagram name for Baby) -The movie is relatively scary in the aspect of environmental horror; dim lighting, sounds that have no origin and/or are meant to trip you up & make you uneasy, characters suddenly appearing in the doorways/entrances to the office; they are also heavily jumpscare-reliant (Foxy's runs down the hallway, the infamous Balloon Boy jumpscares, any instances of the animatronics throughout the film suddenly moving to kill or attack characters (Bonnie in the closet killing Hank, Freddy's spirit pulling Max in for the kill, Chica sending Karl through the vent after the older brother of Max & at Mike later in the movie), the Fritz/Foxy kid jumpscare during the dream sequence, Abby being suddenly pulled up from the ballpit to then cut back to Mike hearing her scream, I could go on but I think I made the point) -The storytelling in the film, while not spectacular by any means, is synonymous to the writing in the games, where there's this awkwardness and humor to a lot of the story because of just how nonsensical it all is (which YES, admittedly kills the environmental horror atmosphere in parts of the story, even I can admit to that) -While Mike, Abby and Garret aren't related to William in the film, they are clearly parallels to Michael, Circus Baby/Elizabeth and Crying Child in the games --I would like to point out that Vanessa takes on the role of being William's daughter who wants to make him happy, which is more-so what Elizabeth is as a character, except she isn't partaking in the bloodshed, but she is pretty much a bystander to it all --I mention Circus Baby in relation to Abby more than Elizabeth because Abby has more of a sarcastic wit and just generally feels closer in personality to Baby's in SL
(Okay now here's my stance on the movie, please read this before reblogging or commenting, it's important for context)
I feel like a lotta people (mainly the ones currently in their late teens & overall 20s-plus) forget a majority of the fanbase were in the target demographic nearly a decade ago when the games started (which was scary to many including myself back then), and now act like it's obligated to "grow up" to more mature content with its initial user base who are now grown adults. But there's still a LOT of young kids who are into the franchise now (again, the intended target demographic is young teens), and it wouldn't make sense if the scary-to-kids-but-not-really-to-adults jumpscare video game suddenly became some SAW-esque R-rated gruesome slasher film when that is never what the franchise was meant to be, nor did it ACT like that's what it was. If you want that, Wally's Wonderland is right there.
There's so much fan entitlement going on regarding the movie right now, it's deranged. You can dislike or hate the movie all you want, I have criticism for it too. I do feel like the tone shifted back and forth a lot, but not in the way where it would make sense for the storytelling. It could've been a lot better written in general, and the exposition dumps Vanessa has throughout could've easily been replaced with a newspaper about the MCI up on the wall while Mike's first walking through the pizzeria, him reacting to the smell from the rotting corpses in the bots, have one of Phone Guy's original recordings play or have the woman from the training video treat the video format in a similar vein.
The way I see it, I had low expectations going into the film and just expected general stuff from the initial game or two in an adjacent, but not exact, adaptation. I've been doing this low-expectation thing since Detective Pikachu, but always try to be optimistic. And the FNAF movie was pretty much exactly what I figured it would be, based on how its story is described through the Phone Guy calls and the post-Sister Location approach of dry/morbid humor mixed in with actual movement, beyond the sit-&-survive office we got used to in the first handful of titles. I really only expected that the animatronics were gonna be friendly with Abby based on FNAF 2's calls, and it was a solid prediction.
Was it a scary movie? No, not really. The jumps got me plenty, especially Max's death cause holy shit I wasn't expecting someone to get chomped in half (and also Balloon Boy, fuck you you little bastard), but the story wasn't scary. It was honestly a tragedy of events going on across all the characters, just really sad but more of a horror-mystery I suppose.
And again, you are allowed to have an opinion and not be satisfied with what was provided in the film. I think there's a lot of room for improvement, and I think it was LS Mark who pointed out in his video that this was Scott and his cowriters' first screenplay, so I agree that they should've had a couple other writers who mainly write films to help form it into a better story for a movie. But it was a serviceable adaptation, and was accurate to the level of extremes being depicted in the games (and no, not all of it works for film, but that's okay to be satisfied or dissatisfied with). And it is fucking exhausting seeing people act like FNAF was always some super horrifying mature adult thing when that's just what the fanmade horror content like FNAF VHS is (Don't support FNAF VHS tho, its creator's a creep who sent NSFW shit to an underage kid knowingly for several years :/ Nasty af).
I think its positives & negatives are generally the same as the Pokemon, Sonic & Mario adaptations as of recent, where you're having to form an entire 90-120 minute movie based off of a few voice lines or body language of the non-speaking characters, and a generally simple plotline. So it typically leads to serviceable movies, but nothing groundbreaking or a masterpiece by ANY means of the term (basically like 50-70% out of 100%, average but not above that from a writing standpoint; I personally have it at 8/10 because it definitely satisfied what I thought it was gonna be, though it's based on personal enjoyment and not its writing/storytelling).
I haven't read the FNAF books and honestly have no interest in doing so, so they don't really matter to me, but I know for a fact this is mostly based on FNAF1 (Ik William going by an alias was a Silver Eyes thing but again, haven't read it so that's the only similarity to the books that I know of). And for what it is, it did its job.
Recent video game film adaptations are very good at making fans happy with references, the similar storylines, and mostly game-accurate depictions of its characters. I think the biggest problem with them is that they stick so close to the games' stories, which are simplified for the sake of the gameplay loop, that the writers for these films are almost afraid to take risks and change a few things up in the way it's told in order to properly adapt & expand the story into a film format. Personally I think Sonic did it best so far based on its source material (though not by a lot), but I liked this movie about the same as Mario's.
It hit all the beats I figured it would hit based on the trailers, and I do feel bad for the people who didn't enjoy it the same way I did, even if their expectations were low or similar to my own. But Scott said in a recent post that he's been listening to people's criticism for the movie, and he generally takes good-faith criticism to heart for better products in future content as far as I've seen it over the years. So hopefully for the near-inevitable sequel, we'll get to see the wrinkles in the first movie's adaptation ironed out in the next film.
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dewitty1 · 1 year ago
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Saturday Six (Stuff)
It's super irritating when people don't stay out of your space. I'd rant about what I'm talking about but it's wayyyyyy too long. I just really get annoyed when people get in your designated space.( •̀ω•́ )σ
It's going to be in the 100s°F this weekend. And of course our AC has decided it's going to act up.(;*´Д`)ノ
My tomatoes are starting to ripen finally!(ෆ ͒•∘̬• ͒)◞
Got a big work project coming up! It's gonna be really cool.“ψ(`∇´)ψ
Why is getting recycling done such a pain in some parts (this part of bum f*ck E WA) of the USA so hard?(๑•॒̀ ູ॒•́๑)
If you haven't seen my favorite silleh guy Boots, just check him out. (=^-ω-^=)
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qeyond · 2 years ago
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If y'all ever want to @ me or send me B-core posts through DMs or ramble about B head canons in my ask box, you have my direct permission to absolutely suffocate me in it all!!!
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bunloved · 6 months ago
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Smh smh
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littlestpersimmon · 2 months ago
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Hey guys. Some of you guys would have heard by now that the philippines will face four typhoons consecutively. I'm currently in the middle of preparing, with the funds my partner gathered for me last month; only I've come across a couple of problems; firstly. That our fridge broke. We live in a wooden house, and when it rains, our walls are very damp due to my country's general humidity. I suppose it caused some short circuiting in some of the wires. I've had the fridge repaired, but it also spoiled 2-4 days worth of food. Secondly. My mom's wallet got stolen. It had around 150 usd in it, that was supposed to go to our groceries for the last leg of November. I've been unable to find work on twitter, as a dying platform. And I am somewhat late in fulfilling my October commissions.. I have not been able to make art as a hobby.. in almost 2 months. None of my social media is growing because I work 10 hours every day, and I'm too exhausted to draw afterward. I have around 3 jobs, and with dollar dramatically falling, while food prices continue to skyrocket.. I am drowning. I am the only person in our house who works. All my three family members are disabled. I pay for my sisters tuition fees, I'm pretty much her parents in all respects. Elon Musk destroyed one of the platforms where most of my clients come from. And my other work will only pay me once I deliver 200 pages of work. Humbly, again, asking for help, prayers. Anything.
There's a 15% off sale on inrprnt, please come pick up any print at all if you'd like.
My patreon is only a dollar a month. Ever since Apple chose to bill iPhone users 30% more, I've devastatingly lost almost 60 patrons.
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hederasgarden · 1 month ago
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Post tenebras lux
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Summary: You are gifted to Lucius as a reward for his prowess in the arena. Pairing: Lucius Verus x F!Reader Word Count: 5.9 K  Rating: Explicit, 18+ only. Heavy angst with a HEA, dubious consent (reader and Lucius are coerced into having sex), public sex (PIV and f receiving), mentions of spousal death, and brief descriptions of blood/injuries from combat in the arena. A/N: I futzed with the timeline in this fic. Instead of coming home after conquering Numidia General Acacius is sent out on another campaign for the emperors. Also, fun fact — the Romans considered oral sex taboo. A HUGE thanks to @aliensupastar, my beloved B, @clairewritesandrambles, @ryebecca, and @faebirdie for their help with the fic. Please comment or reblog if you enjoyed this and want to see more. Or scream at me in my inbox. That always makes my day.
Gladiator Masterlist ♡ Masterlist
The warm steam of the bath clings to the air, thick and heavy, as you move past the large pools where gladiators soak and laugh. Their rough voices fill the humid air and the afternoon sun filters through the open atrium, casting a muted, golden glow across the water. None of the men bother you as you make your way to the quiet alcove at the far end of the room. If Lucius's reputation in the arena hadn’t been enough to keep them away, the man whose hand he took for daring to touch you certainly was.
You’d learned quickly that in this place violence was power, and your gladiator wielded it well. It was a far cry from your life as a fisherman‘s wife, and then as a slave in Macrinus’s household. When you were gifted to Lucius, you braced yourself for the brutal ways of his world, where strength ruled above all else, and men like him took what they wanted without hesitation. But he never did. Instead, Lucius treated you with something you hadn’t expected: respect and kindness. His touch only ever lingered long enough to offer reassurance, never to claim.
In time you both learned to play your parts to survive. By day, Lucius was the victorious gladiator, and you, his spoil of war. They were roles neither of you had chosen, but ones you took on to survive. The night became your refuge, a time where the weight of your reality could be put aside, if only for a while. Curled around one another on the thin cot the ghosts of your past weren’t silenced but shared through whispered admissions. You could speak of the people you had once been – before Rome twisted you both into something unrecognizable.
Trust came with time. And now, as you approach the alcove where he waits, you can feel some of the tension leave your body. You are safe with Lucius, a thought that would have been absurd to you just months ago. 
You shift the small wooden tray — laden with fresh bread, olives, figs, and a jug of strong wine — to your other hip. The soft scrape of your sandals against the stone floor alerts Lucius to your presence. His dark gaze lifts from the water, meeting yours with the quiet intensity that you’ve come to expect. Even in the haze of sweat and steam, his presence is impossible to ignore. 
Where others would let their gaze wander lower, drifting toward the rest of his bare form submerged beneath the water, you always look at his face. It‘s there that you find what you seek: the sharp edges of your own pain and anger mirrored in his dark eyes. It’s a reflection of the hurt you carry, of all that Rome took from you both. 
“You fought well today,” you say, settling beside the pool, the water lapping at the stone. 
The words come easily, practiced—part of the familiar routine you’ve both come to rely on. Though the bath is quiet and you seem to be alone, you know better. You’ve learned the hard way that the walls have ears. Every word, every glance, carries weight here, and even in the relative solitude of this alcove, your interactions could be reported back to Macrinus. Only when you’re hidden away in the cell you share each night can you let the pretense fall away. 
Lucius hums in response as he lets his head fall back against the cool stone. His muscled arm rests on the edge of the pool and you offer him a brief, gentle touch before withdrawing. The tension in his frame eases a fraction and his eyes flutter closed, but the sharpness of his presence doesn’t fade. He’s aware of every shift in the air, every sound around him. Even in the quiet comfort of this place, Lucius is never truly off guard. 
You pick up a ripe fig, its skin velvety and fragrant, and drag it slowly through the warmed honey. Gently, you bring it to his lips, offering it with a quiet gesture. Lucius sighs—softly, almost imperceptibly—and then his lips part, taking the fruit from your fingers. As he bites into it, you feel the heat of his tongue brush against your skin. You try to ignore the traitorous feeling that springs to life in your belly. That feeling has become a frequent companion, one you never asked for, and one that sits uneasily beside the grief you still carry for your late husband.
“You must eat too,” Lucius commands. “You will need your strength for later.”
His rough words carry no real threat, but you react like they do, tucking your chin to your chest in a subtle gesture of submission. At times, it feels like a performance—like you're both actors on a stage, with an unseen audience watching every move. You eat in silence until the tray is bare and the goblet empty. When he rises from the pool, water cascading from his sun-kissed skin, you reach for the fresh robe laid carefully over the stone bench. 
“Do you wish…” you begin, lifting your eyes to Lucius, only to falter at his expression. His eyes flicker briefly past you, and then, just as swiftly, return. He gives no warning before he pulls you forward and drags you into the water. Your cry of surprise is swallowed by the splash your bodies make as ripples spread outward. The wet robes cling to you like a heavy second skin and you sink deeper into the water.
“I’ll have you here,” Lucius announces loudly. He grasps your biceps and easily forces you to straddle him. Your face shields his from the outside world. His expression softens and even as his lips part to speak, you shake your head, stopping him before the words can leave his mouth.
You understand, without needing to hear it. The two of you are no longer alone.
He leans back, arms stretched along the edge of the bath. “Ride me,” he commands. 
You struggle out of the heavy outer robe and your knuckles unwittingly brush over his abdomen. Lucius tenses beneath you. You offer him a quiet apology before withdrawing and rising to your knees. Your hips shift forward in a facsimile of his request, meeting nothing but a swell of water as you keep a careful distance from his body. He groans and you answer him with a quiet moan of your own. You rise up and down almost mechanically, staring at the chipped stone above his head. His hot breath fans over your neck, the heat of it lingering on your skin. You shudder as a warmth that has nothing to do with the pool gathers under your skin, shame twisting your insides. 
Lucius grabs your waist urging you to move faster, and the sounds of his pleasure rise in intensity. The muscles of your thighs protest, burning with effort as you hold the distance between your bodies. The air around you shifts and the murmur of conversation in the other pools begins to fade as the gladiators are drawn in, listening to your performance. The silence grows almost suffocating, but you force yourself to push through the charade. This is just one of many indignities you’ve endured since Rome descended onto the sleepy fishing village you called home. It pales to what could await you if it were gifted to a different gladiator. 
“Fuck,” Lucius growls loudly, abruptly stilling your movement to feign his pleasure. 
After a beat you gather the courage to look over your shoulder, meeting Viggo’s stare. You tense. Calloused fingertips brush lightly over your jaw, drawing your attention back to Lucius. You stare down at him, taking in the light flush of his dusky cheeks and the steady rise and fall of his chest. His touch lingers for a moment more before his hand disappears beneath the water. 
“Use my robe to cover yourself,” he instructs roughly. 
It’s then that you realize how transparent your dress has become in the water. Your cheeks burn with embarrassment and you slide away, only to freeze when your thigh brushes over an unexpected hardness. Your eyes jump to his and Lucius’s throat bobs, the usual intensity of his features faltering for a brief moment.
"I will fetch more wine," you stammer after a pause, your gaze flicking nervously to Viggo still lingering at the edge of the bath, all too aware that Lucius cannot leave in this state. 
Wrapping your arms around your chest, you rise from the pool. The cool air instantly prickles your damp skin. You reach for a robe nearby and pull it around you quickly, grateful for its modesty. Viggo shoots you a brief, assessing glance, but it’s Lucius who commands his attention next.
"Come to admire what isn't yours?" Lucius taunts.
He leans back casually, as though completely unfazed by the situation. It’s effortless the way he slips into his confident, unshakable mask while you hurry away, eager to break the silence and escape the strange weight of the moment.
The clang and clash of metal from the arena become a distant hum, fading into the background as you clean the wounds on Lucius's body. Ravi is occupied, tending to the more seriously injured men, so it falls to you to care for your gladiator. You kneel between his thighs and the coarse sand scrapes against the soft skin of your knees. The heat of the day clings to you both, the air thick with the smell of sweat and blood. But beneath it all, there's a scent you’ve come to recognize as uniquely his — a mix of earth and salt that’s oddly comforting. 
You gently press a cloth to one of the deeper gashes, cleaning away the blood before you begin stitching the wound. Lucius hisses as you draw the needle through his parted skin, and you glance up at him in concern, but his eyes are closed, his breath steady despite the discomfort. His fingers curl into the edge of the cot, gripping it tightly. You smear the thick, fragrant paste Ravi left over the wound once you’re done. 
“You’re getting better at this,” Lucius observes.
“Flesh is not so different from cloth,” you reply.
“A far cry from mending fishing nets,” he says, and for a moment, your eyes meet and you share a small, pained smile.
“And you are a long way from a farm, gladiator,” you acknowledge, shaking your head. 
You help him stand, your hands steady as you support his weight, but you pause when you spot Viggo standing in the doorway. Lately, he seems to haunt your every step, his presence a constant shadow. On instinct you shift a little closer to Lucius, your body seeking the reassurance of his proximity just as he draws you near. The subtle movement doesn’t go unnoticed. A small, knowing smile tugs at Viggo’s lips. It’s a look that sends a trickle of unease down your spine.
“Macrinus is entertaining some important guests tomorrow evening, and you are required to attend,” he announces looking at Lucius. “They wish to see a real gladiator up close, to witness your strength and skill firsthand.”
Then, to your surprise, Viggo turns his gaze toward you. “Your presence is also required,” he adds. Although his tone is casual there's an edge to it that makes your stomach tighten.
Lucius doesn’t speak, but his fingers flex against your hip as he considers the other man’s command. You both know there’s little room for refusal when it comes to Macrinus.
“I understand-” you say at the same time Lucius’s voice cuts through the silence, low and firm.
“She is not needed. I alone will attend.” 
His gaze never leaves Viggo, and you can see the challenge in his eyes. It’s an attempt to shield you, one you appreciate but understand is futile. 
Viggo’s smile remains unchanged. “Macrinus insists.”
The matter is settled and you bow your head, waiting for the other man to leave. Once he is gone you look to Lucius, voice tinged with concern. 
“You should not challenge him.”
Lucius steps away, anger rolling off him in waves. “And you should not submit so easily.”
You touch your throat, then turn away to busy yourself with the bloody scraps of cloth and scattered supplies. There’s no point in arguing. You know the truth: that sometimes submission is the only way to survive in a world ruled by men like Macrinus. As you work the silence between you stretches on, thick and charged before Lucius steps toward you. 
He sighs, his breath warm against the back of your neck. A moment later, his hand rests on your shoulder. The calloused pads of his fingers graze the nape of your neck, sending a fleeting sense of unexpected longing through you as they briefly sweep over your skin.
“I….” His voice trails off and you close your eyes.
“I know,” you say quietly. 
So much of what transpires between you seems left unsaid. You reach back, your hand finding his briefly as the two of you share a quiet moment before he must return to the arena. 
The bangles on your wrist are heavy and ornate, far too extravagant for a slave. They feel less like adornments and more like shackles. Beside you, Lucius looks equally as uncomfortable in his fine clothes. They’ve trimmed his beard and his tunic—lined with gold thread—glimmers in the dim light. From across the room, Macrinus raises his goblet to the two of you. All around you his guests mingle, sharing hushed conversation and knowing smirks that deepen your discomfort. 
The servants, once familiar to you from your time as a slave working in Macrinus's kitchen, all avoid your gaze. You spent years alongside them before you were plucked from that world and thrust into Lucius's service. Their hesitation, the way they look past you, is more than simple discomfort, it’s a warning you don’t yet understand. Your fingers tremble where they rest on Lucius’s arm.
“Something is not right,” you whisper, fear rising in your throat.
Before Lucius can reply, the conversation around you falters, and the air grows still as Macrinus moves to the center of the room. Then, with a sharp clap of his hands, the noise dies completely. 
“Our entertainment is about to begin,” he announces, beckoning you forward.
As you approach, his eyes drift between you and Lucius. His smile widens, though it never quite reaches his eyes. “I hope you enjoyed your meal. You’ll both need your strength for the show,” he says. 
“I am to fight?” Lucius questions, his voice edged with suspicion.
“No, not today,” Macrinus replies. “My guests are eager for a performance of another kind.”
Your brow furrows and Lucius stares blankly at Macrinus until two servants, moving in unison, pull a table forward. It is laden with the remnants of the earlier feast — half-finished plates, empty goblets, and discarded silverware. They work to clear away the table until it is left bare. 
“It is no bed, but it’s finer than your cot,” Macrinus assures.  
Lucius jerks back as if struck, his body stiffening in shock while cold dread settles over your shoulder as you both understand Macrinus’s meaning. He watches the small exchange between the two of you with amusement.
“Or, if you prefer not to,” he offers, watching Lucius intently. His voice is smooth with mock consideration as he continues speaking. “I’m sure another gladiator would gladly take your place.”
“No,” Lucius snarls. Before he can move, you dig your nails into his forearm, trying desperately to hold him in place.
Macrinus leans in close, his next words meant only for the two of you. “I expect a good show. Not like that mummer's farce in the bath.”
Ugly surprise washes over you as the full reality of your situation sinks in. Beside you, Lucius shifts and you see the familiar spark in his eyes. It’s the look he gets before a fight when the fire that lives inside him is ready to explode and consume everything in its path. You’ve seen it a thousand times in the arena, and it always ends the same way: with blood. 
You almost wish you could let him fight, but you know better. You step closer to Lucius, your presence a quiet plea for him to stop. It takes a moment before he meets your gaze and when he does you see the pain beneath the rage, the knowledge that this moment is slipping beyond his control. 
There’s no glory in this—only survival. Yet that truth doesn’t make it any easier to watch the fire in his eyes fade as he steps back. It’s the kind of defeat that no arena or battle could ever impose on him. 
“My guests are eager for the show,” Macrinus says and gestures to the table. 
You straighten your shoulders, willing your body to follow the courage your mind struggles to summon. Lucius follows with heavy footsteps. You stop before the table, heart pounding, and take a slow, steadying breath to gather your resolve before you turn to face your gladiator. You know the role you’re meant to play, this moment is just another part of the spectacle your life has become.
Without a word, Lucius steps closer and his hands come to rest on your hips, guiding you to sit on the edge of the table. When he moves between your legs, you can’t read his expression. Unexpectedly, one of his large hands cups the side of your face, his thumb brushing lightly over your cheekbone. He leans in, his forehead pressing against yours.
“Focus on me,” he urges. “It is just us here, no one else matters. Do not think of them. Do not think of anything but me.”
His words are a command and a reassurance all at once, grounding you in the moment even as your pulse quickens. 
When he speaks again, his voice is louder, carrying across the room. “Lay back.”
The table is hard and cold beneath you as you follow his instruction, the chill seeping through the thin silks you wear. Lucius pulls you forward until you’re at the very edge, your legs hanging loosely off the sides. Gently, your dress is peeled away until you’re bare to him. His broad frame blocks the crowd from seeing much but you still feel vulnerable and exposed. You curl your fingers into the palms of your hands, trying to remember Lucius’s words as you close your eyes.
The murmurs of the observers increase, and you feel them shift, edging closer. Then, a woman’s gasp cuts through the tension, followed by a wave of hushed surprise that ripples through the gathered Romans. When you open your eyes you can only see the top of Lucius’s head from where he kneels between your thighs. Guilty anticipation zips through you, followed by a spark of heat that flickers low in your stomach at the sudden realization of what he intends to do. 
“Barbaric,” a man utters, his voice thick with disdain.
“Now now,” Macrinus says with a slight chuckle. “Remember, our gladiator hails from Numidia. Their customs are not ours."
The first touch from Lucius is barely there, a whisper of contact against your inner thigh, but it grows firmer the higher his fingers climb. Instinctively, you hold your breath, waiting for him to reach the most sacred part of you. At the first touch of his mouth to you, the rest of the world fades away.
Lucius builds your pleasure with slow, steady strokes while his calloused hands knead your thighs. His touch is an anchor and spark all at once. There is little resistance when he curls a finger inside. A second joins the first a moment later and without thought, you thread your fingers into his curls. A long, shuddering moan leaves him, and the vibration tightens the coil in your belly. Lucius’s touch grows rougher and more demanding. He drinks from you like he’s starved for it, as if every drop is the only thing keeping him alive while his fingers work you open.
You come with a throaty cry, your hips leaving the table. Every nerve in your body is alight. You cannot help but hold Lucius against you until the mere brush of his nose against your center makes you quake again, sending waves of warmth through your veins. As much as you want him to stop, you’re desperate for him to continue and keep you in this moment where nothing but the two of you exist. 
Lucius pulls away and reality crashes in with starting clarity while the eyes of the crowd cut through you like a thousand sharp edges. Before it all overwhelms you, he climbs onto the table. He lowers himself onto his forearms and the weight of him presses against you.
“Eyes on me,” he murmurs.  
You open your mouth but the words you want to say seem to get caught, trapped somewhere between your chest and your lips. To your surprise, wetness gathers at the corner of your eyes. But even that feels like something you can't fully surrender to. You’re trapped in this strange, painful moment where nothing feels real and everything feels too real all at once. It’s all too much – his tenderness and the horror of the situation.
There’s a subtle, almost imperceptible shift in Lucius’s expression in response, but it’s enough to reveal something beneath the surface and allow you to see the guilt he bears. The lines around his eyes seem to deepen and the tension in his expression makes him look older, wearier, and more vulnerable than you've ever seen him. The desire to soothe him is enough to break the strange spell on you.
"All is well," you assure him, gently brushing your nose against his. “I am no maiden.”
“Fuck her already,” a voice shouts and Lucius pulls back, his handsome face twisting into a snarl. You feel the tension in his muscles, coiling like a spring, ready to snap—and a knot of anxiety tightens in your chest. 
You breathe his name, soft and pleading, and he stills, the clench of his jaw betraying the war within. “It is only us,” you remind him, repeating his own words back to him. 
He stares down at you, nostrils flaring and then suddenly he bows his head. You feel the fight leave him as he chooses restraint over the violence you both know he’s capable of.
"Only us," he replies, strained. 
You hold his gaze as you feel his knuckles brush against your inner thigh to line himself up. He pushes inside slowly and you lift your hips. Your body welcomes him with only the briefest flare of pain, eased by his earlier attention. 
“Oh,” you gasp.
Your eyes close as he fills you completely. The sensation is both comforting and alien all at once. You can’t help but think of your late husband, so different from Lucius in every way. You wonder fleetingly if the man above you is thinking of his lost love too. Does that unspoken grief weigh on him as heavily as it does on you?
Before your mind can wander further, Lucius begins to move and your thoughts fizzle out. He curls his powerful body over yours and keeps up a steady pace that makes your skin buzz. You wrap your arms around his broad shoulders and the smell of him surrounds you, familiar and comforting. As you move together each breath and shift of your body becomes a silent conversation between only the two of you. 
“Gods,” he groans into your ear. “You take me so well.”
His unexpected praise has you rocking into him, needy for more. The table creaks each time he thrusts back into you. His lips trail along your neck and you feel that familiar climb to ecstasy begin, like a delicate crescendo inside you. Your nails dig into his skin and his rhythm stutters. 
“Sweet girl,” Lucius sighs, pulling back just far enough to meet your gaze.
The tenderness in his eyes is unexpected. Since Macrinus gifted you to Lucius nearly six months ago, you’ve shared many looks; full of pain and grief, anger and understanding, but this is something new, fragile. You stroke his cheek and he surges forward, kissing you roughly.
His lips on yours are a revelation. A storm of emotion rolls through your chest, crystallizing into the realization that you want him. You long for him in a way that goes beyond the need for protection, or a desire for connection. You grasp his face in both hands, your fingers trembling against the hard line of his jaw, and return the kiss with urgency. It’s desperate, almost frantic, as though you’re trying to pull him closer, to merge with him in a way that makes the world outside of the two of you disappear. 
He responds with a sharp thrust, angled so perfectly that it sends a flash of heat up your spine. You taste yourself on him when his tongue delves into your mouth. He hardly lets you catch a breath as he pours himself into you over and over until another orgasm washes through you. It’s more intense than the last, bleeding into his own as he comes with a quiet moan. 
He gives a few more thrusts and stills, his lips hovering over yours as you share the same air. Your thumbs stroke the soft skin under his eyes and you hold his gaze. In the depths of it, you feel a thousand words rising in your chest, aching to spill out, but you are all too aware you’re not alone. 
Before you let the world back in you tilt your chin up, lips brushing over his in a slow, tender kiss that he returns with heartbreaking gentleness. When you finally pull apart, the applause from Macrinus makes you flinch, and Lucius’s expression clouds over.
“What a performance,” Macrinus exclaims.
A titter of applause follows from the audience as though they’ve witnessed something to be praised. Lucius pulls away and you wince as he slips from inside you. A trickle of his seed follows and cold air blankets your body. You curl in on yourself, feeling vulnerable and anxious. When Lucius moves to stand, he carefully pulls your dress to cover you. Then, he helps you upright, and draws you into his side, shielding you with his body. He lifts his chin and offers the crowd a sharp, almost vicious smirk that’s more a baring of teeth than a smile. 
“I thought you might fuck like you fight,” Macrinus says. He lays a hand on Lucius’s shoulder like they are old friends and leans close. “I’m pleased to see that I was wrong.”
There’s some other meaning in his words that you don’t catch but Lucius seems to understand. Anger flickers across his face, but beneath it, you see something more unsettling, something you’ve never seen before. Fear. 
“We will do a great many things together, I think,” Macrinus continues in a pleased tone, his gaze lingering on the hand Lucius settles possessively on your hip. “A great many things.”
This time when he smiles it reaches his eyes; cold, calculating, and full of something far more sinister.
You spend the rest of the party seated on Lucius’s lap, his arm banded around your waist while the other rests on your thigh. He’s tense and angry as you expect but his focus seems distant, lost somewhere far beyond the room. He rubs the fabric of your dress between his thumb and forefinger, the motion almost absentminded. The wine you sip is overly sweet and sits like a sour stone in your belly. Neither of you speak. Occasionally, some guests, perhaps emboldened by drink or bravery, approach, but Lucius quickly sends them on their way with nothing more than a look. 
Only once the party dies down are you dismissed by Viggo. On the journey back to your cell Lucius’s grip on you remains firm, as if he's afraid you might slip away. He doesn't speak, and you notice every so often, his free hand curls into a tight fist at his side, his knuckles turning white from the pressure. It’s not until the door closes behind you, locking you both inside the small, dimly lit space, that Lucius finally speaks. 
"You know my true name,” he begins pacing the length of the cell. “But there are things I have not told you."  
He speaks slowly, each word carefully measured, as though he’s weighing the cost of revealing what’s hidden. He tells you the truth of his origin, and with each sentence, you sink deeper into the thin cot you both share, the weight of his words pressing down on you. When he finally falls silent, you remain there, frozen. A thousand thoughts flood your mind, but none of them seem to form into anything coherent. 
"Does this mean-" you begin, words faltering as you try to process the magnitude of what he’s revealed to you. “Does this mean… you are the rightful emperor?”
“I am.” There’s no pride in his admission, only worry. He releases a harsh breath through his nose like he’s trying to clear something from his chest before he speaks again. “There is a plan in place, with my mother and Acacius, but he will not return from Persia for several weeks yet. We cannot wait for them.”
“What has changed?”
“Surely you must know,” he whispers, regarding you softly.  
You shake your head, a quick, instinctive denial, but a deeper part of you already understands. Or perhaps, hopes you do.  
“You," he says simply. 
It’s the way he says it, so certain and knowing, that makes your breath catch. You stare at him and your heart throbs in your chest, low and sweet like a song.
“I never thought I could want someone again,” he admits. His unexpected words summon the ghost of all you've both lost, and they rise between you like a shadow, lingering for a long painful moment. "I thought it would feel like..." His words trail off.
“A betrayal,” you finish for him, keenly aware of what he must feel. 
The vulnerable look on his face awakens something deep and real inside you that you never expected to feel again. You rise from the cot without thinking and move to stand before him.  
"It feels right," he continues, his voice softer now, but no less certain. "As easy as breathing." 
And then he kisses you, tentative at first, before he grasps your jaw, seeking more of you. The way he holds you, possessively, protectively, makes you feel like you’re the only thing that matters, like you're his lifeline in a world that’s about to crumble. It fills you with such longing that you chase his lips when they part from yours.
"Macrinus knows now. And he is planning something," Lucius says, his voice tight with urgency, "and whatever it is, it will be at odds with the good of Rome. He will use you to get to me. And I cannot lose you."
“What will you do?” You ask.
"I'll send word to my mother in the morning," he replies. "You and she must leave Rome. It’s the only way."
You shake your head, unwilling to part from him.
“I will come for you when it is safe,” he promises, capturing your lips in another kiss before he pulls away and rests his forehead against yours. "But tonight… tonight, I need you again. Will you have me?” He questions.  
You answer him with your lips and he gathers you in his arms. The coarseness of his beard against your chin and the firm press of his lips to yours ignites a bone-deep need within. Suddenly all the danger, the uncertainty, and the inevitability of what’s to come fades into the background. It's just the two of you, the heat of his touch, the depth of his kiss, and the unspoken promise in his embrace. 
When he pulls you down on the cot, urging you on top of him, you let his momentum carry you. 
“Ride me,” he pleads desperately, framing your hips with his hands. 
He gazes up at you with such a mix of desperation and love that you couldn’t deny him, even if you wanted to. The shudder he gives when you take him in hand emboldens you to stroke his length. He groans and pushes his head back, exposing his thickly corded neck. You rise up and sink down on him slowly, savoring each inch. It’s near perfect how he fills you, and even though you’re still sore from earlier, the blend of pain and pleasure thrills you too much to stop. 
“Your dress,” he pants, “remove it. Please. I want to see you. All of you.”
You pull the fabric from your body and shed the bangles on your wrist while Lucius removes his tunic. You’re familiar with every inch of his body from tending to his wounds and time in the bathhouse, but you gaze down at him now with renewed appreciation, resting your hands on his firm shoulders. His eyes are filled with affection and desire as they roam your body. 
“You’re beautiful,” he praises. 
He cups your breasts and draws his thumbs across your nipples until they grow hard. The touch sends sparks of pleasure along your nerves and you twitch around him. He moans and rolls his hips. His arms encircle you, holding you close while he fucks you with strong, powerful thrusts. You bury your face in his neck and drag his skin between your teeth. He answers your action with a groan. 
“Gods, the way you feel. You’re perfect,” he praises. 
You sit up and plant your hands on his chest, moving your hips to take him deeper. You gasp his name and arch your back, rocking forward with an urgent need that eclipses everything else. For the first time in what feels like forever, you close your eyes and let yourself simply feel. There’s no need to shield yourself, no barriers to maintain.
“Look at me,” Lucius begs, grasping your waist to take control of your movements.
Your eyes flutter open and meet his, the beginning of your orgasm rising to the surface like a tide pushing its way to shore. It grows steadily until it finally crashes over you, flooding your senses and leaving you breathless in its wake. Lucius finds his own end moments after with a low, shuddering gasp. It takes several moments for your breathing to return to normal and when it does Lucius sweeps his hands up your sides comfortingly.
"Stay with me like this,” he asks. 
You acquiesce and he gently guides you to rest your cheek against his chest. His hand slides to the middle of your back, his palm warm and steady as he holds you close. Even though he remains inside you still your body relaxes, pooling in his. You close your eyes and listen to the steady drum of his heart, feeling a profound sense of stillness. 
You’ve always felt safe in Lucius’s arms, but now, you feel loved in a way you never dreamed you’d experience again. It’s a kind of peace that settles into you, filling all the broken, hollow spaces in your heart where your grief and pain have lingered for so long.
Whatever comes next, his love and strength are something you can hold onto. And for now, that is all you need. 
Also part of this series:
Ab Initio
Finis
Protego te
My inbox is open for your thoughts on this story, requests for drabbles with Lucius and further scenes with Lucius and the Fisherman's Wife.
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