#(I'm just here for the friendship feels. That's all)

[v4mpire45]

The Things He Doesn't Know — K. Bakugo

This is part 8 of the series, so other parts will be on the m.list.

☞ Link: click here.

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugo x Jealous female reader

Synopsis: When you realize you're in love with your childhood best friend, but force you're feeling's down for the sake of your friendship.

Author's note: I'm so sorry this took so long to get out, I needed time to think about ideas. And I'm working on other works at the moment. This is also a bit short, but only because the next part will be juciy.

Things have been good, or as good as they can be.

You and Bakugo have kept your promise to each other. The two of you have been spending more time together, slipping back into the familiar rhythm of your friendship.

And honestly? It feels like you've gotten your best friend back.

You've missed this. A lot more than you'd like to admit.

Maybe it was stupid, holding onto something like this so tightly. But Bakugo had been there for you through everything. Before the war, before all the chaos. When you met, you butted heads just as much as you got along, but somehow, through all the fights and challenges, he became your person.

The one who understood you without needing to say much at all.

And after everything, after the war, after all the distance that formed between you, getting him back felt like getting a part of yourself back.

Not that you'd ever tell him that.

But there's a shift you can’t quite put into words. Maybe it’s just in your head, maybe it’s nothing at all, maybe it's been here all along and you’ve been ignoring it, but when you’re with him, there’s this... awareness.

This weight in your chest tightens when he’s close loosens when he laughs, and straight-up betrays you when he does something as simple as calling you by your first name.

But lately, Kimiko's been watching. Not just Bakugo, you. And you don’t like what’s behind those eyes.

Today, training drills had been assigned. Nothing new, just the usual combat sparring to sharpen reflexes and adapt to different fighting styles.

You were heading toward Mina, already expecting to pair up with her, when a familiar voice grunted behind you.

"You. Me. Partners."

You turned, blinking as Bakugo stood there, arms crossed, already walking off like your answer was obvious.

"Oh. Okay...!"  You tried to sound casual, but your voice had a little too much enthusiasm to pass as apathetic.

Before the war, you and Bakugo were almost always partners for these kinds of things. Sure, sometimes he’d go with Kirishima, and you’d switch it up with Mina or Jirou, but you were a duo.

Then the war happened.

And after that, Kimiko came along, sliding into the space beside him like it was hers to claim. You stopped partnering with Bakugo. Maybe you didn’t even realize how much you missed it until now.

Out of the corner of your eye, you caught Kimiko’s gaze, her expression unreadable. She had been heading toward Bakugo, too, but he hadn’t even looked her way. Instead, he had gone straight to you.

Not your fault. He made his choice.

Still, you felt her eyes on you like a weight.

The spar was intense.

Bakugo never held back. Not with you. Not with anyone. But today, it felt different. More focused. Like he was pushing you, not just physically, but daring you to keep up. And you did.

Sweat beaded on your forehead as you dodged another one of his attacks, skidding back just in time to avoid the explosive blast.

You shot forward, aiming a kick toward his side, but he blocked, catching your ankle with a firm grip before shoving you back.

"Too slow,"  he taunted, a smirk pulling at his lips.

"You’re just fast," you shot back, adjusting your stance.

"Damn right I am," he said, rolling his shoulders before lunging again.

The tension was there, thick, buzzing. Maybe it was just your own head making it worse, but every time he moved closer, every time his eyes locked onto yours with that sharp intensity, your breath caught for half a second too long.

And every time you caught a glimpse of Kimiko watching. You waved at her when Bakugo wasn’t looking. She only narrowed her eyes and turned back to her own partner.

The match ended when Bakugo finally got the upper hand, knocking you onto your back with a hard sweep of his leg. He loomed over you, hands on his hips, panting slightly.

"You finally tired yet, dumbass?" he muttered.

"Not even close," you lied through your teeth, even as you struggled to catch your breath.

His smirk widened, but he didn’t press it. Instead, he just held out a hand, which you grabbed without hesitation. His grip was firm, warm, steady.

And maybe you held on half a second longer than necessary.

After training, everyone had packed up, heading back to the locker rooms. You took your time, changing into your uniform, running a towel over your damp hair before slinging your bag over your shoulder. As you stepped out of the girls’ locker room, a voice called out behind you.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?"

You turned to see Kimiko, standing a few feet away, hands on her hips, her expression unreadable.

"Oh, um... sure?"

She smiled, but there was something off about it. Before you could react, she grabbed your wrist and pulled you aside, leading you into a quieter corner of the hallway.

Then, she let go. Crossed her arms. Tilted her head. And that fake little smile faded.

"So," she said, voice deceptively light. "What’s going on with you and Bakugo, hmm? Do you like him or something?"

Your throat went dry. "What? No, I—" You let out an awkward laugh. "That’s— what are you even talking about?"

Kimiko huffed, unimpressed. "Hmph. Yeah, sure."

For a second, she just stared at you, then sighed. "Y’know, I’ve been meaning to ask since that party. The one where you told me to ‘hop off Bakugo’s balls.’" She raised an eyebrow. "Kinda funny, isn’t it? Considering you’re the one acting all territorial now."

Your stomach dropped. "I—I didn’t mean—"

"Save it," she cut you off with a wave of her hand. "You already apologized once, remember? I don’t need you groveling again."

You hesitated. "Then why bring it up?"

Her expression shifted, something unreadable behind her eyes. She glanced away for a moment before exhaling sharply.

"Because," she said slowly, "I think you and I both know you’re full of shit."

And with that, she turned on her heel and walked off, leaving you standing there.

You didn't know what was worse, the fact that she called you out so easily.

Or the fact she might be right.

© 2025 v4mpire45 — All rights reserved. Please don't post my work as your own on any other sites.

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[pandora-writes-one-piece]

The Meet-Cute - Zoro's Story - 13

Source for pic

Trouble 13 🔞

Word Count: 5343

Tags For The Whole Story: Fem!Reader; Protective!Zoro; Soft!Zoro; Sexual Tension; Teasing; Flirting; Mature Audiences (I'll always tag the NSFW chapters); Modern Day AU; Reader is being stalked; Fear; Paranoia; Angst; Rom-Com Vibes; Mild Gore-like Descriptions; Blood; Reader in a terror-like state; Dead Animals Mentioned; Fluff; Romance; Banter; Manipulation; Miscommunication; Frustration; Reader is very clumsy;

Special Warning: English is not my first language, I apologise for any possible spelling or grammar mistakes.

Summary: After moving away from the hustle and bustle of Grand Line City to help your father around the property following a horse-riding accident - and in the hopes of healing your broken heart after your asshole ex-fiancé cheated - you settle into the country calmness of the Calm Belt. You and Zoro are slowly returning to your easy friendship filled with banter and flirting and you actually begin to glimpse a future with the green-haired cop. But then you start to receive weird gifts. They quickly escalate to manipulative texts. And now you're stuck in a spiral of terror and there's no way to get help because the Stalker, whoever he is, is threatening something other than just your life.

Notes: Early update! Are you all happy about this? Did I feel bad about leaving you with a mean cliffhanger? NO! But I managed to write a lot on Monday, when I had the day off work, so here's your reward! I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm thinking the next one will be the epilogue, but I still want to wrap some things up, so I'm not sure if there isn't going to be two more chapters instead of one, we'll see. Also, important WARNING for this chapter: non-consensual touching/kissing and overall descriptions of near-rape. It can be triggering, please be careful when reading, hence the 🔞 for this chapter.

Masterlist

King's fingers dig into your skull before he grips your hair tightly and pulls. You grunt and cry out for Zoro, holding him like he's an anchor, but the pain in your head is splitting. King pulls at your scalp relentlessly while he drags you across the floor, so you instinctively grab your hair to try to ease some of the pain, the sting of tears burning your eyes as your legs thrash. 

You feel Zoro's hands grabbing your thigh, trying to hold you close, but his strength is depleting, and as his fingers slip, he lets go with an animalistic growl of defeat. 

King snarls as he releases your hair and pushes you down until your back hits the hard floor, stealing the remaining breath from your lungs. Your back hurts and you hear the unmistakable crunch of broken glass beneath you. Then, King pins you down, his knees holding your flailing arms in place while he sits over your thighs. You're trapped. 

His hand pushes your cheek against the floor as he turns your face towards Zoro and you hiss from the sting of the glass against your cheek. “Watch!” He growls, spittle flying everywhere. His other hand wipes blood away from his eyes and then he presses your cheek even harder, making you wince. “Watch as your dear cop bleeds to death in front of you.”

You can feel King's rage as if it were waves, spilling slowly and venomously from his body. 

Your eyes lock with Zoro's, and he grits his teeth, his nails scraping against the floor as he struggles to try to get up. There's already a pool of blood beneath him, and you feel a wave of nausea overpowering you. 

“Zoro!” You sob, and he calls out your name. Weakly. So weakly. 

“I’m magnanimous, you know that, Kitten?” King’s laugh thunders around you maniacally. “You've been such a slut for this cop, and I still let you say goodbye!” He leans forward until his nose touches your ear, and his hot, heaving breath against your skin makes you shiver for all the wrong reasons. “And he'll get to watch as I finally claim what's mine.”

And then, with another snarl, King rips your top, leaving your breasts exposed to him, and you scream. 

This can't be real. It can't be.

“Fucker!” You hear Zoro grunt, fury permeating his words as he grits his teeth again, and with a pained, desperate sound, tries to rise. 

“You!” King barks, his face whipping to the side as blood still trails down his temple, and he wipes it furiously. You realise he has at least three broken fingers because of the way they seem crooked, but it's like he’s not even acknowledging the pain. “Fucking hero. You just die quietly.”

Your arms feel numb from the weight he’s pressing upon them. Your chest heaves from exertion, from crying, screaming, praying. But King doesn’t relent. His hands grope, squeeze, and pinch. 

It’s disgusting.

And it hurts on so many levels. 

“Please, please, please… stop. Please…” You mutter, your words piling over one another as you try to appeal to a sense of decency you doubt he possesses. 

“That’s it, Kitten. Beg.” He sticks out his bloodied tongue and swipes it over your nipple. You shiver and sob so hard your throat hurts. Zoro is spewing curses from where he’s standing, but you’ve shut your eyes tightly. You don’t want to look at Zoro when King is doing this. “Beg, beg, beg!” King snarls. 

Then his hand climbs along your neck, and his index finger and thumb pinch your chin, forcing you to turn your head to him. “Look at me.” You shake your head frantically. “No? Still defying me?” You hear the unmistakable jingle of a belt buckle being fiddled with and your whole body feels cold.

No. No. No.

“Stop. Stop. Please!”

“I will fucking kill you!” Zoro shouts, then coughs, and you hear a wet sploch as he spits blood on the ground. 

Just make it all stop. This needs to stop. 

“You will learn your lesson thoroughly.” King promises you.

Then, he moves his left knee to lower his pants, freeing your arm, and you seize the opportunity. Your numb fingers search the floor around your body wrapping tentatively around a shard of glass. You grit your teeth through the pain as you grip it tightly, then, with a sharp intake of breath, you plunge it against King.

You aimed for the neck - the artery - knowing he would bleed out fast: die, faint, anything! 

But your aim fails due to the numbness of your arm.

He’s too big, too tall, too massive. And the shard is insignificant. 

The shard sticks out from his shoulder, and he grunts with the impact. His eyes dart to the side, then back to you. The red in them burns brighter, hotter, and scarier. When a grin starts distorting his face as he rips the shard from his skin as if it were nothing, you don’t know if he’s aroused or angry with your actions. 

“Kitten… Kitten…” He tuts, and you squirm, trying to free yourself now that one of your arms is released from his grasp - as if that alone could make a difference in your escape. “So naughty.”

King grabs your wrist and twists it in an unnatural way, squeezing at the same time. The pain is unlike anything else. It travels up your arm, takes hold of your senses, and pierces your soul. He shatters the bone with sheer strength. 

Your scream seems to go on forever, and tears burn on your swollen and bloodied cheeks. 

You seem to register Zoro cursing louder and calling your name. You hear scuffing and dragging. You feel the rage - a deadly aura rolling out of Zoro - but he can’t reach you. 

He can’t save you.

You’re doomed.

The fight is instantly drained out of you as your arm falls limply by your side. As your chest rises and falls, it fills with helplessness. King wipes the tears away from your cheeks with a mimicry of affection and leans down, taking your unmoving lips in his with a satisfied grunt.

“There. See? All quiet and still now. That’s my good girl.” He fixes your hair, and cups your cheek, stealing another kiss away from the numbness of your mouth. “You’ll learn to love this. I won’t have to hurt you again, love. I’ll take care of you. I’ll fix you up. You’re mine to take care of.”

Tears keep spilling, pain keeps making your arm throb, and your chest feels heavy with dread. As King keeps fidgeting with his pants, you let your face fall to the side. Locking eyes with Zoro again, you recognize the same desperation reflected in his wide eye. 

He punches the floor repeatedly with a powerless grunt, shaking his head as a stubborn tear mixes with the blood on his face.

He’s crying?

And then, he stops. His eye focuses to his left, and you slowly follow his gaze.

The gun.

Hope begins to claw its way into your chest. But when your eyes fall back on Zoro, you see how much he’s struggling just to keep his head up. He’s so pale. You don’t know if he has the strength to reach it. 

“Eyes on me, Kitten.” And this time, you obey. You don’t want King’s attention to fall on Zoro.

Not now. 

“Yes. That’s it. Focus on me.” You refuse to look down, but you still feel it. The way he’s caressing himself, watching terror flood your eyes with a lewd moan spilling from his split lips. “Beautiful.”   

You can’t help a whimper from escaping your lips as his fingers find the hem of your bottoms. King curses loudly and hisses, likely because of his broken fingers, then doubles his efforts to try and get rid of the pesky fabric. 

“Mine. Mine. Mine.” He chants insanely, his body bending down as he kisses your stomach, making you heave dryly in disgust.

“Please… please…” You implore, the word stumbling over his, repeated to exhaustion. A prayer, a plea, a supplication. 

It falls on deaf ears, and King’s hands finally pull the fabric down to expose you. His breath shudders as you feel his fingers dig into your hips, bruising and hard. “This was always meant to be, love. You and me, Kitten. Us. You’ll never even think of him again.”

King turns his gaze towards Zoro, and your breath hitches as you follow his gaze too. Zoro looks deadly still. He has managed to rise to his knees, but his body is wobbling with the effort. His shirt is crimson with blood, and his breath comes out in violent shakes of his chest. 

You don’t see the gun.

“You hear that, hero?” King chuckles, his fingers pulling your bottoms down further and further as tears keep staining  your cheeks. You still flail your legs weakly, but you have no more strength. No more will. “How does it feel to know you weren’t strong enough to save her? To die knowing she’s mine?”

Zoro’s chest begins heaving in a rhythmic motion, and you sob harder, your lower lip trembling relentlessly. Is this what death looks like? Is this what it feels like? A pit of growing despair? A hollowed chasm of hurt and indifference? 

And then, you hear it: Zoro’s laugh - something he rarely does. It starts slow, and then it crescendos into insanity, mixing with an animalistic roar as he raises his head to face King. There’s blood all over his face and mouth, but his eye… it seems to be glowing red with fury. 

Then, he smirks, raising his hand which is steady, despite all the blood loss, and he points the gun at King. “You talk too much, fucker.” And, without hesitation, he shoots. The gunshot rings like the thunder from the storm outside. 

Loud. 

Unforgiving.

Freeing.

King jerks violently, his hands climbing towards his torso, where blood is pooling. For the first time, he looks surprised - frightened, even. His breath hitches, and he coughs up blood, his eyes widening as his gaze falls on you one last time.

It’s a vision you know you’ll never forget. He looks defeated, but he still watches you like he owns you. He snarls low and gurgles on the blood coming up his throat. His hands inch forward, still trying to grab you - to claim you.

You hear Zoro grunting in pain before he speaks again. “I told you, you don’t get to touch her.”

Another shot.

King’s eyes open wider, his head jerking violently to the side as the bullet enters through his temple, exiting on the other side with a sickening, meaty sound. Blood and brain matter splatter everywhere, and you can hear pieces of his skull hitting the floor with revolting clatters, like the shattering of the finest china. 

And then, as if in slow motion, he collapses on top of you.

Dead. 

You stay frozen for a moment as your brain tries to grasp what just happened.

King’s dead.

He’s dead.

Zoro saved you.

Zoro!

A dry thud catches your attention, and you shift your focus back to Zoro. He has slumped forward and looks very still.

“Zo! Zoro!” You squirm, trying to push the massive form of King away from you. But if he was impossible to move when he was alive, it’s even worse now. A frustrated cry leaves your lips as you shove his limp body with all your might, ignoring the throbbing pain in your shattered wrist. 

With a lot of effort and kicking, you pry yourself away from King, taking an extra second to pull your bottoms up before you kneel down next to Zoro. The first thing you do is press your fingers against the pulse on his neck - you still feel it, soft and irregular.

A deep, shattering sigh escapes your lips as you slowly turn to Zoro to look him in the eye.

“Hey, Trou–” He groans, leaving the rest unsaid as he can’t seem to find the strength to finish the sentence. 

In the distance, you can hear the faint sound of approaching sirens, mingling with the receding thunder and the dwindling rain. 

“Shh, shh, Zoro. I’m fine, you’re fine. We’re going to be fine.” You sob through your words as your hands stick with the blood on them. Pressing the wound, trying to slow the bleeding, you stare into Zoro’s eye. “You saved me, Zo.” A mere whisper.

The sirens approach.

Blood keeps pooling around you.

Zoro hums, his smirk twisting into a grimace. “Always… gettin’… trouble…” You tremble as you chuckle, more from trying to contain the tears than from the gesture. 

“Yeah, I know… paperwork on your desk, right?” Zoro mumbles something and closes his eye. “Zo, come on.” You whimper, dropping your forehead against his and sobbing uncontrollably. “Open your eyes, come on.”

For an agonizing moment, he’s completely still. No breathing, no nothing. You hold your breath too, chin trembling.

And then he lets out a long exhale, opening his eye lazily, trying to refocus on your face. “Only… have… one eye…” He jokes again, and you hear a car screeching to a halt outside before you can answer him. You move your gaze towards the door and find relief when you see Captain Mihawk.

The older man falters for a split second, his eyes assessing the scene in front of him before he approaches you and mimics your earlier gesture by pressing Zoro’s pulse. He exhales in relief before removing his jacket and placing it on your shoulders so you can cover yourself. Then he sets his amber gaze on your eyes. “Keep talking to him. Don’t let him go unconscious. The ambulance was right behind me.”

Mihawk rises and walks towards King, repeating the process of checking for the pulse, and then he turns back to Zoro. “Roronoa, you are in no way dismissed. Stand your ground, Officer.” Zoro grunts and you feel your chest constrict. You can sense the way Mihawk is distressed over Zoro’s condition, so you refocus your efforts.

“Zo, Zo, look at me, come on, you Mosshead.” That seems to do the trick as he opens up his eye again and frowns. “Yeah, you heard me. Focus on me, will you?”

He tries. You can see he’s trying. But when he closes his eye, it just seems to be harder and harder to open it back up again. You hear the ambulance stop and the paramedics shouting outside, so you cup Zoro’s cheek and press a kiss to his cold, shivering lips.

“You can’t quit on me Zo. I love you. You hear me? I love you. Stay with me… please!”

You can see him struggling to answer, his lips trembling with the effort, but he can’t muster the strength. And then it all happens at once.

The paramedics rush to your side, and you give them space to work, though your hand still holds Zoro’s. One of the EMTs wants to assess you because there’s so much blood all over you that the poor man thinks you’re dying too. But you push him away, saying you’re fine and refuse to let go of Zoro’s hand.

It’s not until you’re both riding the ambulance to the hospital - your hand clutching Zoro’s so hard it’s already numb - that the worried EMT tries again and frustratedly asks you to please let him assess your wounds. 

“I said I’m fine!” You snap, your voice cracking, showing just how frayed you really feel. “Just… just fix him!” A sob claws at your throat, and you swallow it down, your fingers squeezing tightly. 

Zoro is laid on his stomach as the EMTs work on the stab wound on his back. He’s breathing very shallowly through an oxygen mask, and a sheen of sweat makes his forehead glisten. 

“BP’s dropping.” One of the EMTs who’s monitoring Zoro’s condition states and bangs on the window. “Speed it up!” The ambulance picks up its pace, and every jolt, every bump makes Zoro groan and turn paler. You lean down, your forehead touching his again while your shoulders shake violently. 

“Zo… fight! Please. This is not the way you die, hear me?” You can’t stop the whimper that escapes your lips, nor the way your heart hammers incessantly against your chest. 

“ETA to the hospital?” The EMTs talking are mere background noise. All you hear is the faint breaths Zoro’s taking, the slight wheeze every time he inhales, and the heavy grunt every time he exales. “Five minutes?”

“You will die a very old, very grumpy man. None of this bullshit, hear me?” Your hand squeezes his tighter, and you shake again, your shoulders shivering violently.

“That’s five minutes too many, step on it. Ma’am?”

“You stay right here with me, Zo. I selfishly want all of your years. Don’t quit on me, Mosshead!”

“Ma’am!”

You don’t answer, don’t even look. You’re laser-focused on Zoro’s pained expression and barely register when someone drapes a blanket over your shoulders. 

And then you feel it.

A gentle, very light squeeze of your hand. Zoro’s still awake, he’s still fighting.

Time seems to stand still as you strain your ears for any more sound, any other confirmation that he’s still there with you. 

And then time crashes violently, and all at once. 

The ambulance screeches to a stop, and the doors fly open. The EMTs haul Zoro’s gurney out, and you follow blindly, too stubborn to let go of him, too tenacious to focus on yourself. There’s already a team of doctors and nurses waiting by the hospital doors, white coats, medical jargon, the smell of strong disinfectant, it’s all too much.

“Talk to us.” One doctor begins, his voice steady.

“Male, early twenties, stab wound to the back, multiple lacerations, and blunt force trauma likely from a fight. No exit wound - possible organ damage, and massive blood loss. BP’s crashing!” The EMT states, and the doctor nods, you’re all moving inside the hospital, but the sounds are too loud, the colours too bright.

Everything feels surreal. 

“Get him to trauma one and prep for transfusion. Someone page surgery, if he’s bleeding internally, we’re taking him straight in.”

A nurse grabs your arm, and one of the doctors steadies you, making you let go of Zoro’s hand with a gasp and a whine. “Zo!”

“Ma’am?” One of the EMTs stops near the nurse and sighs. 

“She refused treatment on the way, possible shock, multiple traumas and lacerations, her wrist is a mess.” The nurse nods and talks softly to you, steadying your shoulders as you try to follow Zoro’s gurney.

“He’ll be fine, dear. We need to examine you. There’s nothing you can do about him now, he’s in very good hands.”

“No, no, no!” You sob, pushing past her, trying to run to Zoro again. “I can’t leave his side! I can’t, Zo!” 

Suddenly, security comes near you, a big man with an intimidating stride, though kind eyes and smile. He reaches to stop you from following Zoro and the entourage of doctors. “Listen to the nurse, Ma’am.”

“No! I can’t leave him!” You thrash violently, even though you have no idea where you find the strength. The security holds you, and you hear someone say something about sedatives. You keep calling out to Zoro and the last thing you hear before a needle pricks your arm and everything goes black is the scariest thing you’ve ever heard in your entire life.

“We’re losing him!”

And then… darkness.

-*-

You lost track of time.

Lost track of where you are.

But not of what happened. It takes you a full minute, but you get there. As the steady inhales you take slowly dissipate a wave of nausea, you remember everything. King; Zoro; The near-rape; Zoro; The desperation; Zoro; The stabbing, the gunshot, the sirens, the hospital…

Zoro.

“Zoro!” You rise with a jolt and a pained cry. Everything hurts. Your body feels sore and heavy, every cut stings, every bruise throbs, your wrist feels like it’s being crushed by a truck. Yet, what hurts most is your heart. 

“He’s alive.” A gravelly voice jolts you. 

Your face whips to the side faster than the speed of light, and you are met with a stern amber gaze. 

“Captain Mihawk!” How long has the man been seated by your bedside? You have absolutely no idea how much time has passed, but it’s dark outside, so at least an entire day. “Where–”

“It’s classified information. I can’t tell you where he is. But he’s alive, though heavily battered. He’s still asleep.”

Alive… alive! Alive!

You release a gargled sob, your good hand climbing to stop it from turning into an ugly cry in front of Zoro’s captain. 

You inhale quickly and sharply, trying to fend off tears and keep from being an emotional mess, since Mihawk seems bored to death by your display. 

“I called your father. I didn’t disclose too much because I didn’t want to worry him, but he’s on the first flight back. He’ll be home tomorrow.” 

You nod, relief flooding your veins. Shanks is coming back - you missed your dad - and if you noticed the way Mihawk’s voice softened when he spoke of him, you ignore it, feeling like it’s safest if you don’t mention it.

“Home? But our house is–...” Destroyed, filled with blood, a dead body…

Tainted…

“The forensic team finished up during the day, so the cleanup crew should be working now. By the time Red arrives, it will be like nothing happened.” His eyes soften for a fraction of a second, and he sighs. “Visibly, at least.” 

Right. Because emotionally and psychologically, you’re fucked. 

And you haven’t even begun to process it yet. 

“Red?” You can’t let this one pass. Even more so because the rest still feels too traumatic to address. 

Mihawk uncrosses his leg, sets it down, and crosses the other one instead. He never blinks. “I’ve known your father since school days.” Another heavy sigh while his lip curls up in slight discontentment tells you he won’t elaborate on the subject further. “Did you know him? King?”

Just as he mentions him, the pain in your wrist becomes unbearable, and you wince, bringing it closer to your chest as tears start to unwillingly pool in your eyes.

“Yes. He was my ex-fiancé’s bodyguard. Vinsmoke Ichiji, my ex, had many enemies and… fans.” You inhale a shaky breath. “I barely talked to King during the two years he worked for Vinsmoke Enterprises, but he was… obsessed. My phone it–...”

“We collected it for evidence.” Mihawk nods. 

“He… he hurt Rob Lucci and– God, I don’t even know his name, the store clerk of the supermarket by the corner street–...”

“We know. Roronoa connected the dots first, and by the time I went to speak to the clerk, he told me that you had called the supermarket to warn him. He didn’t know your name, but he had seen you with Zoro. When King threatened him to ‘never touch what’s his again’, he too connected the dots. He was just too scared to share that information when we first took his statement.” Mihawk purses his brows. “As soon as he told me that vital information, and since the special squad was heading over, we sped things up and rushed to your house.”

You nod slowly. Once more completely overwhelmed by everything King did. The tears threaten to return and you sniff loudly. Mihawk rises in his chair and sets the furniture back into its rightful place, by the corner of the room, coming back with a tissue in his hand, which he hands to you.

“I’ll take your full statement once you’re recovered. There’s no rush. Besides, I’ll speak with Vinsmoke first to see what type of information he can provide us with. Until then, please rest.”

You nod again, wiping your tears and nose. All you really want to do is see Zoro.

“Are you sure you can’t tell me where Zoro is? I–... Please?” Gripping the sheets with your good hand, you feel your chest constrict. You can’t spend another second away from him. 

“No. It’s completely classified information.” Mihawk heads towards the door and opens it. “I can’t tell you he’s in recovery room 3, down the next hallway, third door to the right. It’s classified, stop asking.”

You grin, the smile so foreign on your cut lips that it almost hurts. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Mihawk’s brow raises, and your grin widens. “Rest, child. You need it.”

-*-

You managed to peek at the time, and it’s nearly four in the morning. Twenty-four hours have passed since this nightmare came to its conclusion. It still feels so surreal to know your stalker is dead. That he’s not going to text you anymore; that he’s not going to hunt you, control you, punish you…

But all you want right now, all you need, is Zoro…

Your feet are bare as they pitter-patter down the next hallway and take you to the third door on the right. You’re lucky no nurse saw you or heard you, because you had to rip the IV needle from your arm, you’re still dizzy from being heavily sedated, and you’re pretty sure any nurse would have scolded you and dragged you back right away.

You don’t quite know what to expect as you push open the heavy green door and enter the dimly lit room, but whatever it is, it wasn’t this.

Zoro looks so unlike his usual self. His torso is heavily bandaged, there’s a small tube coming out of his nose - likely to help him breathe - an IV line in his arm, and all sorts of equipment set on his chest and finger to keep track of his vitals. 

He looks so frail.

So unlike the strong, unshakable Zoro who protects you and keeps all harm away. 

The small click of the door closing behind you disrupts the steady beeps of the monitors, and you bite your lower lip to contain your sobs as you walk towards him. 

“Hi…” You whisper softly, maybe hoping that he hears you. He doesn’t stir, so you swallow down the rest of everything you have to say to him. You want to thank him, you want him to know how much he means to you, but you also want to call him careless and reckless. Maybe not all in that order, though. 

With a longing sigh, you find a chair by the corner of the room and drag it towards the bedside. With your uninjured hand, you grab Zoro’s - it’s freezing - and just stare at his face. His brows are scrunched, even though he’s heavily sedated, but the beeping on the monitor seems steady and his chest rises and falls regularly.

He’s alive.

He made it.

He saved you.

“Thank you.” You know he doesn’t hear you, but the words burn so deep on your tongue that you need to release them. Then, you lay your forehead against his hand and hope he wakes up soon. You need to hear his voice. 

-*-

Time is so relative. It seems you were asleep forever, a dreamless, drug-induced sleep, but when you blink slowly, chasing away the drowsiness, the room is still dark, so you couldn’t have been out for too long.

You inhale deeply, ignoring the pain in your back from the small cuts of glass from the table; the sharp sting of the still-fresh bite mark; the constant throbbing of your wrist, yet– there’s something you can’t ignore: a steady thread of fingers through your hair.

Zoro!

With urgency in your movements, you raise your head, eyes already opened wide as they meet his soft gaze. 

“Zo…”

“Hey there, Troublemaker…” He grunts and smirks. “This time, you really made some trouble, huh?”

A choked wail leaves your lips as you scramble to get up and wrap your arms around him. For a second, it's bliss. 

Then it’s pain.

“Ouch!” You both wince at the same time as you disentangle away from him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” You start babbling, and he chuckles softly.

“Missed you too, Trouble.” You can’t help but notice the roughness of his voice and how breathless he sounds. 

“I thought I was going to lose you!” You can’t stop the stubborn tears, nor do you really care about stopping them. You want to press closer to Zoro, to never let him go, but you’ve just learned that you have to be careful. Instead, you grip his hand tightly. 

“I thought the same about you.” Zoro tries to raise his hand, but his strength fails him, so you lift it and bring it to your lips, pressing a soft kiss on his knuckles. “When I woke up and you were gone…” Zoro snarls softly. “We’re still going to have to talk about that stunt you pulled.”

“Later.” You dismiss him, not caring about being scolded.

“Later.” He agrees, too tired to argue with you. “C’mere.” He lets go of your hand and scoots softly to the side, taking care not to strain his wounds.

“No!” You protest, though feebly. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

He sighs. “Here.” Then he pats the side of the bed softly. “C’mere.” He talks as if he’s scolding a small child, and frankly, you don’t have it in you to protest. You need to feel him against you, to know he’s real and alive and breathing. So you climb the bed, taking care not to strain your injured arm and wincing as everything hurts. 

Zoro grunts as the mattress dips but hums in agreement when you nestle close to him, your foreheads almost touching. “Better.” He mutters with a long, relieved exhale. 

Then he pulls you a bit closer by placing his hand on your waist. You grin and brush your nose against his. “Softie.”

“Shut up.” He scolds. Then you feel him chuckle even before he curves his lips to release the sound. “I heard you, you know?”

“Hmm?”

“You said you love me.”

Your breath hitches as you feel your neck burning from embarrassment. “You were half-dead, what do you know?”

“I know what I heard.” He counters, and you press your fingers against his chest, softly. 

“No, you don’t.”

Zoro’s hand moves slowly but surely, when he raises your chin so you can look at his eye. “Lie to me one more time, Trouble.” You almost melt. God, you do love him. Your blush and soft smile are answer enough. “That’s what I thought.”

Then he presses his lips softly against yours. Just a small peck, a reminder, a promise for more. 

“Fine.” You admit in a barely-there whisper when you break apart. “I do love you.”

His eye softens like you’ve never seen it do before, all the usual harshness being replaced by something sweet, just for you. 

“Good.” He pecks you one more time. “Because I love you too.”

The blush on your cheeks spreads, but so does the warmth in your chest as you bury your head against the crook of his neck. “Idiot. You just wanted me to say it first.”

You don’t have to look at him to know he has a smug smirk on his lips. “Yeah, I did. Especially because I’ve loved you since I was a horny teenager.” You can’t stop a heartfelt laugh from escaping your lips. “I think I loved you more than swords back then, and that’s saying something.”

You laugh again, feeling so much relief from this interaction. It’s normal. It’s back to how things were before King broke you. It’s you and Zoro. Real, steady, familiar.

“It’s not a competition, you bonehead.”

He chuckles and snuggles closer, exhaustion and drugs getting the best of him as his eye droops slowly. “Tch. If it was, I’d have won.”

You let out another breathless laugh as you feel him drift off, a smug smile still pressing his lips.

It’s over.

The nightmare’s over. 

Finally.

Tag List: @rosidaze @beachaddict48 @armiliadawn @jintaka-hane @sprinkklz @baby5555 @hopelesslover06 @mars-mizuko @sleepykittycx @nerium-lil @eustasscapitankid @ren-ni @jqperi @lycoriskalmia @daydreamer-in-training @iloveyoushanks @thegalaxysedge22 @kyllium @keiva1000 @chibinasuu @my-name-is-heartache @laidenbreecatchall

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[https-kittyx3]

pls pls pls could you write a poly!odypen x reader? I really loved your Telemachus story!!! :D

we will fall in love with you again

TEEHEE thank you very much, i wasnt so proud of that so i'm glad you loved it!!

also poly odypen request???!?!? YES. UESUESUEUSEUSYESUEYS i really really want more Epic requests aaahh i am obsessed with writing stuff about it. i have multiple hermes fics i started and never finished lmao

btw i swear i've seen you in the tags before, you should totally write epic the musical fics!! i'm curious about the one you said you have based on your self insert >:3

also this is kinda angsty i think? but it leads up to fluff!! i promise i won't break your heart <3

not proofread at all, excuse is in the tags lolol

lowercase intended || art cred

all throughout your life, you would have never expected what kind of relationship you'd have in your adulthood. younger you would imagine settling down with someone you fell in love with, living in a house together and spending the last of your days side by side.

the idea of having two lovers was the last thing you'd think about. it wasn't even something you knew you were capable of — loving two people at the same time? wouldn't it be unfair if you ended up loving one more than the other?

as much as that worry was understandable, it'd never end up becoming a problem; odysseus and penelope both earned your affections equally. they've both been your friends since what felt like the beginning of time - you never kept anything from each other, always made time for one another, and never had trouble speaking your minds... until things became complicated.

you tried so desperately to ignore it—the growing feelings you felt towards both of your best friends. it was anxiety inducing, especially since it was overly clear that the two were interested in each other. no matter the way it went, someone was going to be heartbroken. someone was going to be sad and the three of you could never be the same. it was agonizing to think about, to imagine the outcomes - you adore them both, to lose what you have would be your biggest regret.

ignoring your feelings seemed like the best bet for the longest time, but there was always that pang in your chest every time they'd talk about each other to you that reminded you of your own heart.

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

"it's endearing how awkward he gets," penelope airily chuckles as she folds strands of her hair over and over in a pattern to create a braid, "sometimes, it's like he can barely form words around me... i wonder if that means he feels the same."

you feel yourself biting the inside of your cheek, carefully braiding the other side of penelope's hair for her. it was a mindless action the two of you fell into as you chatted together. all you manage to give her is a hum, your heart growing a tad heavy once again. penelope shifts, almost as if she senses your hesitation.

"is something the matter?" she questions with concern, tying the ends of her hair together to keep the braid from coming undone. penelope's always been the one who can read your emotions — it's one of the many things that made you fall for her. she's gentle, earnest... there isn't a chance in the underworld that she'd ignore your sadness. as your friend, she's here for you. she always has been.

you gaze at her slowly, almost afraid to look her in the eye - you could break at any moment, admit everything you're feeling, and ruin all you're familiar with. you don't want that, even if it leads to an eternity of heartache.

"of course! i apologize, i'm just distracted..." you sheepishly admit, finishing the other part of her braid. you let your hands fall away and sit in the grass below, a few strands nestling between your fingers. you grip onto them, pulling blades from their roots.

penelope sighs, having heard this time and time again over the course of your friendship. it wasn't uncommon for you to dismiss her concern, just to pop up later needing to vent - she understands it, even. so, she picks at the grass with you, but instead grabbing a flower that grows in the grass beneath you both.

she leans over you, gently placing the flower's stem behind your ear with ease. penelope then places her palm against your cheek, directing your gaze towards her with a soft touch. you feel yourself flush under her eyes and touch, your cheeks warming against her palm — part of you wonders if she notices the way you react to these small touches, and if she knows how you feel underneath your veil.

"you know you can talk to me about anything," penelope whispers with softened eyes. behind that kindness lingers her own conflict, confusion, and fear - but it wasn't known to you in this moment. in hindsight, perhaps it would've been more obvious if you looked deeper. if only you had talked to her then and there, taking up that sincere offer, things would've been more simple.

instead, your lovesick-ridden mind came up with the silliest thing you could have said;

"penelope, you're so sweet i could kiss you." you speak before you're able to think about how that sounds. you mean it as a joke... mostly, but in the moment it was meant as a way to accentuate how kind she is. instead, and with the amount of passion you spoke those words, it came off as a genuine confession.

and it's clear that penelope took it that way, with how quickly her cheeks darken in red. you pull back immediately, throwing in an awkward laugh as you gently push her hand down.

"i'm kidding! you're just... so kind. i don't know what i'd do without you."

inwardly, you sigh in relief as you watch her relax. crisis averted, you think. penelope responds with a laugh — a genuine giggle, a jingle of joy — it warms your heart faster than your face.

"likewise." she speaks with a gorgeous smile.

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

"i just... i don't know what to say to her!" odysseus rambles on and on about penelope, occasionally asking for your thoughts on what he should do or say, all while swinging a stick at a tree as if he were fighting a massive creature. at the same time, he paces back and forth while looking up at you from where you sit on that same tree. your legs dangle from the lowest branch, hands gripping it tightly so you don't fall. it's a rather sturdy tree - an olive tree, specifically. the one where the three of you tend to spend your spare time together, though these days it's more often just two. becoming too busy is inevitable, after all.

this day was not one of those, however. penelope is to meet the two of you any minute now, though it's becoming apparent that she's been swept away by something or other - leaving you, odysseus, and the complicated feelings within.

even though you have feelings for both of them, having only one or the other around stresses you out. you're so unstable with your feelings and thoughts that you barely trusted yourself to stay quiet about them.

"what would you do?" odysseus tosses the stick to the side, plopping down against the trunk right under the branch you sit on.

"what would i do about what?" you question, not realizing that odysseus had been talking on and on as you zoned out from above. at this point in time, you were being no better than a certain goddess who was hopeless when it came to love advice. odysseus raises a brow up at you, "about... confessing your feelings?"

"oh!" you sit up straight, a panicked look on your face that is almost comical, "what feelings? i don't have any feelings for anyone!"

odysseus snorts, resting his head against the trunk, "i was talking about confessing my feelings for penelope, but... now it sounds like you might fancy someone." odysseus teases you, but it's not so clear in the moment — you feel caught, like all your thoughts had been read and exposed. your heart picks up in pace as you shift awkwardly, trying to think up any excuse to get out of this topic, before you realize that you're leaning on nothing but air.

you fail to catch yourself before you're falling backwards towards the ground, letting out a scream as you brace for impact. you're lucky you're only so far from the ground, because any further would've been death for you.

odysseus catches you swiftly, feeling lucky that he was right below you. he didn't even have to get up to snatch you from the air — all he had to do was lean forwards and pull you against his chest to cushion your fall.

and cushion, it did. your head falls against his collarbone, and your back lands right against his torso. his arms are wrapped securely around your chest, holding you up as you lean your head back to take a look at his face.

"looks like i fell for you, heheh..." what an awful joke for an awkward situation. odysseus does the same as penelope had done — he takes your joke as a poorly veiled confession, and as much as it may be, it's not something you want to admit right after he finished talking about his feelings for someone else. that 'someone else' being your mutual companion, your third member. your best friend.

ugh. what a situation to get yourself into.

odysseus' eyes are wide and cautious, but not for long as you sit yourself up with the dismissal wave of your hands, "no, no... that came out weird! i was doing a joke, but it was bad timing..!"

oddly enough, you see odysseus' face fall into a neutral expression for a faint moment, before glowing up and into a hearty laugh. similarly to penelope, again, it warms you to hear him laugh so sincerely. he finds you funny, and that brings you joy.

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

despite all the signs of the mutual feelings between the three of you, it'd be a good while before things are finally shared. the next few years are spent pining after each other, battling that inner anxiety, and finally... admitting it to yourselves.

your heart is big enough for both of them, and it's something you have grown to come to terms with. all of that confusion and inner conflict subsided into an understanding, regardless of how anxiety-inducing it all still was. penelope and odysseus were simply just the most open about their feelings for each other at first. it took you a bit more time to finally open up, but once you did, you were surprised at how open the both of them were to you.

it was exciting to finally be able to express your feelings to them, to finally be able to tell them how in love with them you are without being afraid of losing them.

unbeknownst to you, it was an internal battle for the two of them as well. that feeling of loving two people at once, yet not knowing what to do about it for the fear of losing both of them.

the three of you, now together as one, share more love between you than anyone has ever seen. even athena, whose lifespan escapes the confines of time, has never witnessed such an incredible bond as yours. she's also heard endless stories about your romance from odysseus, who can't find it in him to stop talking about you and penelope — but who can blame him? he's blessed with two of the best partners he could have asked for.

even as you three grow older, take over more dire responsibilities, and marry one another, your love never wavers.

even after penelope bears a child, after the dread of a war looms ever closer, and odysseus is swept off to save the lives of many — your bond is true.

it's ever lasting.

he'll come back to his spouses and son, whether the gods want him to or not.

[soobinologisttt]

moonlit moments - choi beomgyu

pairing ☆ beomgyu x f. reader

word count ☆ 3.1k

warnings ☆ bestfriends!, switch beomgyu!, camping!, reader drowns but is okay!, tent sex!, overstimulation!, riding!, beomgyu has a dirty mouth!, reader on on birth control!, (be safe guys), very cute!!

guys this is my first time writing non-dom stuff. i tried my best. hope u enjoy!!

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

"i am so excited!" you say from the back seat. sitting in the middle, you lean up between the passenger and drivers seat.

"i know you are y/n. you've only said it 10 times already." beomgyu pats your head with a smile.

soobin is driving you two and yeonjun is driving taehyun and kai.

you have been waiting for this trip since the beginning of the school year.

you all got together and planned this after finals, you were all going to go camping in the mountains.

you remember telling them that you were going to camp alone, in your own tent.

"i am going to buy my own tent!" you smiled widely.

"y/n? are you sure? it's gonna be kind of spooky up there." soobin asks.

"i am a big girl soobin," you cross your arms and lean back in your chair, "i can handle myself. plus, you all will be next to me."

"suit yourself." soobin retreats as he shrugs.

that night you went home and ordered yourself a pink tent with a pink sleeping bag.

you also made a list of things you might need, such as a light, a portable charger, etc.

although it was months away, you were too excited to not make these lists.

now that is actually happening, you can't help but repeatly tell the two guys how excited you are.

"the next time you say that, you're going into yeonjun's car y/n." soobin says tiredly.

"someone is grumpy." you say to attempt to whisper to gyu.

"i am right here." soobin grumbles.

you turn to him, "do you want me to drive? you seem tired."

"can i trust you?" he says as his eyes stay locked on the road.

"of course. just pull over at the next rest stop. beomgyu, text kai."

beomgyu pulls out his phone and you catch a glance at his lockscreen.

it's you two, when you first met.

you both met as freshmen in high school.

you were the new kid and beomgyu invited you to join his group project.

you came after the project started so you didn't know who would let you join or not.

thankfully for you, two giggly boys asked you join them.

since they looked nice you accepted.

since then, you have been inseparable.

even deciding to go to the same college. and now here you are, heading into your senior year.

you can't help but smile at the memory.

the picture is you on his back as he carries you around the carnival that you begged to go to.

you had just gotten off a ride and you were getting sick. so beomgyu decided to carry you to the car. you're head is barried in his neck and he is smiling widely at the camera.

the guys always swore that you and beomgyu would get together before high school ended but it never happened.

you weren't disapointed about it since, you didn't want to ruin your friendship.

the closest you both got was a makeout when you were both drunk.

once soobin pulled into the rest area, you jumped out of the car. you're bladder was screaming at you. asking for a release and quick.

"where are you going y/n?" beomgyu quicky jumps out after you.

"i have to pee." you call back as you run into the rest stop.

beomgyu quickly follows you.

"i am going to wait for you out here." he says loudly into the bathroom.

you smile at his over protective personality.

it's always been like this. if you were going somewhere alone, he would call after you and offer to come with.

you quickly use the bathroom and wash your hands.

once you're out, beomgyu is by your side. walking back to the car with you.

"you know, i'm a big girl right?"

"i know," he sighs, "you can never be too safe y/n. i dont ever want to lose you."

you can feel the red spreading across your face at his words.

"i dont ever want to lose you either, gyu."

once you get back to the car, soobin is already fast asleep in the back seat. snoring loudly.

"i guess, he was really tired." you giggle to beomgyu as you both get into soobin's car.

"i guess. are you okay to drive? not tired right?"

"i am too excited to be tired right now." you laugh as you start up the car.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

once you get to the parking lot, you are starting to regret your choice of sleeping alone.

nothing but woods are around you. it's a five minute walk to where you will be camping and it's only trees.

you expected there to be even a few people staying in the same place.

but no, there is nothing but trees for miles.

"are we almost there?" beomgyu calls.

seemingly tired from the long walk.

"almost." soobin doesn't look up from the large map in his hands.

you all walk for about five minutes before finding a clearing.

it is a piece of land surround by trees. it didn't help you ease up at all.

if anything, it made you more nervous.

"are you okay y/n?" kai breaks you out of your scary thoughts.

"are you having second thoughts?" beomgyu asks.

you shake your head with a nervous laugh.

"nooo! i was just admiring the.... trees?" you bluff.

"the tree's y/n?" soobin gives you a confused look.

"yeah, they are so large!" you laugh.

"well, pick your spot and get to work! unless you want to sleep on the hard ground tonight." soobin intructs, waving to the empty space.

"okay dad." you roll your eyes.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

it only takes you 30 minutes to set up your baby pink tent.

"about time y/n." taehyun laughs.

you stick out your tongue at him.

"you can't say anything taehyun. you sat and watched soobin set up your tent."

to save money, the guys decided to share tents. soobin and taehyun in one, and kai, beomgyu, and yeonjun in the other one.

"hey, he offered." taehyun shugs and sips on his drink. he is sat around the makeshift fire pit in his camping chair.

before you could think of a come back, kai interrupts.

"according to the map, there is a lake that way," he points to a trail that is different from the one walked, "anyone wanna go?"

you immediately shout out, "i'll beat you there!"

he takes off running and you quickly follow bhind.

"beomgyu, please grab my towel. it's in my tent, in my bag." you yell back as you chased after kai.

"okay!" he yells back.

you keep running, to catch kai, and when you finally do you pull him back.

"hey that's cheating." he laughs.

"yeah, u sure know alot about cheating mr. "i'm not hiding any uno cards."" you snort.

"hey, that was only one time!"

you continue to run before slowing down.

it's gorgeous. a body of water with a waterfall across for where you stand.

you see kai dash by you and hear him yell, "i won!"

but you're too focused on the beauty of wilderness to care.

"it's so pretty." you say to kai.

just then he takes the time to admire the beauty of his surroundings.

"this is so cute." he looks at the waterfall.

"let's swim." you take off your shorts and shirt to reveal your baby pink two piece.

you didn't mind being around them in a bathing suit since once they walked in on you changing.

nothing really happened, you just covered yourself and scolded them on knocking.

now, you could care less. you see them all as your brothers, and know that they see you as their sister.

you walk into the warm blue water and continue until it is shoulder high.

you know that the guys would want to go futher since they are all giants but you went as far as you think was a good idea.

you're not the best swimmer and don't want to drown with just kai here. more hands and eyes means the less of a chance you'd drown and die.

you turn around and watch the water from the waterfall fall. wishing you could go to it. to stand under it.

before you know it, there is a boy throwing you over his shoulder.

"kai! kai! kai, you know i can't swim that well," you panic as he walks deeper into the water, "what are you doing?"

"you're fine y/n. I wouldn't let you drown. beomgyu would kill me." he laughs.

once we get close to the waterfall, he lets you down. but out of reflex (and general scaredness) you wrap youself around the boy.

he flexes up and attempts to pry me off of him.

"take me back kai," you nearly sob, "i don't like this."

just as he is about to turn around you hear a voice call you from land.

"what the fuck are you doing?" beomgyu fums.

you quickly let go of kai, only to slip under the water.

you start to panic as you slowly fall.

you attempt to swim up but no matter what you do, you feel yourself continue to go under.

that's until you feel two large hands pull you up.

you spit out the water in your mouth and begin to sob.

you have no idea who has got you but you hug onto them tight.

"it's okay, y/n. i got you." you hear beomgyu soothe you as he rubs your wet hair.

"i was so scared." you cry into his shoulder.

"i know y/n. i know."

once you feel safe, you pull back to look at beomgyu. he has his shirt and pants still on.

"beomgyu! why are you still in your outside clothes? what about your swimming trunks?"

"you were going to drown y/n." he sighs, "like i said earlier, i never want to lose you. i would do anything to keep you safe."

you blush and hide your face in his neck.

"can we get out of the water now?" you hug onto him.

"whatever you want." he holds on to you.

as you walk out of the water you hear multiple voices speaking.

"i am so so so sorry y/n. i didn't think that would happen." kai profuessly apolzies.

"you're okay kai, i jumped from you." you give him a small smile.

"we can go home if you want." soobin tries to comfort you.

"no, no," you shake your head, "we have been planning this since freshman year."

"i am okay guys," you reach the shore and beomgyu puts you down, "you guys can continue swimming. i need a moment."

they are give you small smiles and hope that you feel better.

beomgyu walks with you, picking up your towel that he dropped when he jumped in.

"don't you wanna swim too?" you look over to the boy.

"no, i need to make sure you're okay." he replies back.

instead of aruging back, you accept his presence as you walk back to th camp site.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

later that night, as you're laying in your tent, you can't help but think about how you felt during the incident.

the feeling of helplessness and fear. you feel it running through you veins.

that's when you hear a sound outside of your tent.

you gather yourself and grab the nearest thing to you, which happens to be a flashlight.

you hear the unzipping of your tent and brace yourself. your flight or fight mode is in full effect.

that's when you hear his voice, "are you okay?" beomgyu asks.

"not really." you huff out in relief.

he zips up the tent and sits on the edge of your sleeping bag.

you both sit there quietly until you speak up.

"i can't stop thinking about it. the way i felt." you feel youself start to tear up.

beomgyu moves to the middle of your sleeping bag, facing you.

although it is dark, you can make out his face. his beautiful nose, eyes full of life, and the frown on his lips.

"i am sorry y/n," he looks into your eyes, "i should of been there quicker."

"no gyu, don't blame yourself."

"i mean, i have no idea what i would do without you y/n. you dont know how much you mean to me."

he brings his hand up to your face and slowly strokes your cheek.

"gyu, wha are you-." you didn't get the chance to finish.

beomgyu's lips were on yours.

once you overcame the shock, you close your eyes. feeling more at peace. forgetting what happened earlier in the day.

he takes his hand from your face and reaches behind you, placing his hand on the small of your back.

you turn you head to deepen the kiss, opening your lips a little to allow him access.

he slides his tongue in in a swift motion.

you moan lightly at the action.

"i've dreamed about this for so long." he confesses as he pulls back silghtly.

you smile on his lips.

"have you now?" you tease him.

he smiles, "yes, for a long time."

he crashes his lips back onto yours, slowly moving to lay you down.

you uncross your legs and send them straight.

beomgyu is still kissing you as you fall back and hit your pillow.

"is this okay?" he looks down at you with his big pretty brown eyes.

"yes, please going gyu."

he doesn't miss a beat to start kissing you again.

when he slides his tongue across your lips, asking for entrance, you groan out.

you can feel beomgyu's cock grinding onto you. causing you to moan out more.

you pull back with a needy moan, "i need you right now."

he doesn't miss a beat as he flips you.

"please ride me y/n." he pleads.

you know you can't control yourself when it comes to him so you slip your hand down to his cock.

"fuck y/n."

"do you have a condom?" you lean down and whisper into his ear.

"i didn't even think about that. i dont, fuck. i'm so sorry y/n."

"gyu, i'm on birth control." you pull back and continue to palm him through his pajama pants.

"i bet you feel so good y/n. i need it so bad, please, please, please fuck me."

you pull down his pajamas pants bring his underwear with it.

he helps you out of your pajamas and underwear.

he runs his hands down the curve of your body. taking in every minute, wanting to remember every second of it.

he knows he'll be fucked after this, he'll want to do it all over again.

you hover above his hard length, slowly lowering yourself onto him.

"you feel better than i ever imagined, fuck."

you sit there stunned at the pure size of him.

"fuck gyu, you're so big." you try to keep quiet. fearing that you'll wake your friends.

"c'mon, you can take it."

"mhm," you start to slowly ride him.

"you can do better than that baby." he grips you hips, guiding you to go faster.

you struggle to stay quiet as his cock hits all the spot that you can't reach.

"gy-u-u, it's too much." you whine as he keeps guiding you.

"you just feel so good princess. please don't stop."

you bite your lip so hard it draws blood.

you watch as his brown eyes roll to the back of his head.

"you feel so fucking good y/n." he groans as he graps your hips harder.

he was surely gonna leave marks.

you attempt to speed up, although you can barely handle it.

"fuck gyu, you're so deep. if you go any deeper you'll be in my stomach." you throw your head back.

"mhmm, you look so pretty riding me. such a good girl taking all my dick." he purrs.

you grip his abs through his shirt as you continue letting him abuse your cunt.

"gyu-gyu-gyu oh my fuck, i'm gonna come."

"me too baby. keep going just like that." he looks up at you before throwing his head back.

you listen as you both chase your highes, getting slopper by the second.

"beom-beomgyu, i'm gonna fucking scream." you warn him.

he flips you both over so he is on top.

"you gotta stay quiet my princess. you don't want then to hear us. i want to be the only one who hears you."

he places his hand on top of your mouth as he thrusts into you.

"fuck, i love fucking you. nothing will compare now."

you moan into his hand, your cunt pulsating around his dick.

it only takes you a couple more thrusts before that feeling in your stomach explodes.

you let out a stranged cry as he continues ramming into you.

"hmm, i'm so close," he whispers into your ear, "please let me keep going, baby."

you give a slight nod and he continues his rampage on your swollen folds.

"so-so close." he says as he finally releases all of his come into you.

you can feel him twitch in you as he collapses on top of your mouth.

you both heave out.

"that was so amazing y/n. oh my god, ive wanted to do that first so long." he rolls off to to lay on his side.

"well... it doesn't have to be the last." you smile.

he brings you close and eventually you fall asleep to his heartbeat.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

"guys." you hear from outside your tent.

you roll over and slowly open you eyes. sunlight pouring into your tent.

"where is beomgyu?" you hear soobin say.

"i don't know, the last time i saw him was last night and he wasn't here when i got up."

your eyes widen as you realize the situation you have found yourself in.

"gyu." you whisper as you shake him up.

he groans out, "please, can we sleep some more?"

"we should ask y/n." you hear them walk up to your tent, knocking on it like it is a door.

"are you awake?" yeonjun calls out.

"yeah! one second please." you call out, causing beomgyu to shoot straight up.

"okay, beomgyu is missing. have you seen him?"

you look at beomgyu with wide eyes.

"i'm in here," he says proudly, "i didn't want y/n to get eaten by a bear or something." he comes up with a half assed excuse.

you roll your eyes and giggle to yourself.

"well come out, it's breakfast time."

"we'll be there in a minute." you call to them.

as they walk away you can hear yeonjun tell someone, "i told you this would happen. where is my 50 bucks?"

you giggle and look at beomgyu with his big brown eyes.

you give him a quick peck before getting up and getting around.

"come on. a girls gotta eat. especially after last night." you wink at him.

[enden-agolor]

hi enden euuuhh i am terrified to interact with you but i just wanted to tell you that i adore your work and your creations bring me a bunch of joy!! it brought me and someone dear back together we haven't been able to see or talk to since i was eight. that month was truly one of the best months of my life to be able to talk to him over your cool fdau works and mcsm in general like we used to so thank you so so freaking much for choosing to continue to share your creations, and allowing me to go back to some of the most precious memories of my childhood 😞😞 i feel embarrassed typing this all but you have made such an impact on my life and it would be selfish of me to keep it to myself, thank you enden

You don't ever have to feel terrified to reach out to me, especially with such a heartwarming detail about your life 🥹. Andy and I hold our childhood friendship near and dear to our hearts, so it means a lot to us to hear a story as special as this. It's a massive honor that something we created was able to bring such a special part of your life back to you, especially to be able to bond over it together. I think that's truly amazing, and I'm very happy for you and your friend. I never expected this au, let alone other creations of ours, to impact people in such positive ways. I love it so much, and this is such an uplifting ask to receive, it's actually made my night.

Here, have this little doodle I drew on our whiteboard calendar. I hope you and your friend are doing well, and thank you so much for your kindness and support 💖

[seriousbrat]

how can lily be a good person if she married a bully?

I'm going to break this down because it does legitimately seem to be an issue for so many people. I received quite a few asks about this a few days ago so I'm just going to address it generally here. Apologies for the length of this, I tried to cover everything I could think of. Let's get two things out of the way first:

Firstly, if you truly believe James was an abuser, and you're seriously asking how a woman could ever marry an abusive man, this is indicative of a fundamental lack of understanding about how abuse works. This is victim-blaming rhetoric. Abusers are predatory, manipulative, and often extremely charming, and they have a specific methodology for ensnaring their victims. I highly recommend Lundy Bancroft's book Why Does He Do That for further reading on how abuse works. The reality is that women marry abusive men all the time, and it doesn't make them bad people. If you believe otherwise we simply have nothing to talk about here.

Second, the question of whether or not James ACTUALLY changed his behaviour is irrelevant here, so I'm not going to directly address it either way. The main thing is that Lily BELIEVED that he had changed, whether or not he actually did, and we know this from Harry's conversation with Remus and Sirius. We also know she wasn't aware of the full extent of the bullying, as she didn't know the details about the prank.

For the purposes of this I'm going to adopt the perspective that James never changed, had 0 character development, and was secretly a terrible person the whole time. To be clear this isn't what I believe-- but I think it's helpful to start from a similar place.

Onto the main points:

An overly forgiving nature can be a flaw, but it doesn't make someone a bad person.

Nor does it make them selfish. Even if I concede that James was irredeemably evil as a person, the fact that Lily believed him to be better than he was, even if she was wrong, makes her at worst naive, not selfish. In fact, I'd argue that it's a sign of empathising with someone too much, which is sort of the opposite of selfishness. We know that Lily had an overly-forgiving nature, because she demonstrates that with Severus when she's willing to overlook his associations with the worst people of all time. And as we know from the fact that her friends were openly critical of it, and that she suffered as a result of it, her friendship with Sev was hardly 'convenient' for her. That she forgave him and overlooked his behaviour, and defended him, despite the fact that it was actively inconvenient for her, indicates empathy (and probably too much of it) not selfishness. Being overly forgiving is an established character trait of Lily's, as she tells us she "made excuses for [Sev] for years." Making excuses for someone you love is a flaw, but not one necessarily rooted in selfishness. Again, it was actively inconvenient for Lily to make excuses for Sev. It's also a very human flaw, not one that makes her a bad person-- especially when you consider that Lily's capacity for forgiveness had its limits, as she demonstrated with Snape.

To forgive is an act of compassion... it's not done because people deserve it, it's done because they need it.

anyway with that buffy quote out of the way, lets move on

Lily owes Snape nothing.

I'm sure people will disagree, but, objectively, she just doesn't. They are not friends at this point. He has demonstrated consistently that he doesn't have enough consideration for her to stop rubbing shoulders with people who literally want to murder her, including a boy who attacked her housemate. So why is Lily expected to take into account his feelings and his history with James? Which leads right into:

It's a massive double-standard for Lily to be blamed for marrying James when Snape isn't afforded the same for associating with Death Eaters.

I mean, think what you want, but to me being a mass murderer intent on exterminating an entire subset of the population (talking about Voldemort and other DEs here, not Snape) is like, maybe, a tiny bit worse than being a bully in school. But what do I know. Snape willingly joined up with such people, knowing perfectly well what they wanted to do to Lily, the woman he loved, and everyone like her. If Lily's choice in husband makes her a selfish person, then by your own logic Snape is completely irredeemable and you should probably delete your blog about how misunderstood and babygirl he is.

Sometimes people marry or befriend terrible people.

Similar to the first point, lack of judgement is a flaw but not one that directly indicates selfishness. Again, remember, Lily believed James to have changed. She believed, whether or not she was wrong, that redemption is possible. It's extremely common for women to date and marry terrible men, unfortunately, and to be blinded to their flaws. There are many possible reasons for this. I guess you can argue that the desire to be loved is inherently selfish, but that still wouldn't make Lily notably selfish at all, rather just a normal human. Plenty of people have had the experience of dating someone who is terrible or being friends with someone who is terrible at some point in their lives, and it doesn't automatically make them terrible themselves. People make mistakes and have poor judgment occasionally. Her actions in SWM suggest she would not have tolerated nor validated any cruelty from James towards others, had she been aware of it. Anyway, once again if you're holding Lily responsible for James's actions you need to also hold Snape responsible for the actions of his buddies. If it's selfish for Lily to associate with a bully (who she believed to have reformed) it's straight up devoid of any humanity whatsoever for Snape to KNOWINGLY associate with people like Mulciber, Voldemort, and Bellatrix. I don't actually believe this btw, I'm just following the logic through.

Furthermore, it's completely unfair to blame Lily for, in particular, the past actions of her husband.

As we clearly see in SWM, she did NOT tolerate his behaviour during the years before they started dating. James's behaviour is simply not Lily's responsibility, and neither is Snape's. It's not her job to fix them nor pay for their mistakes, nor should she have to investigate and tally up all their past wrongdoings when making her own choices. If James was actively being a menace and Lily was just watching going 'teehee' I'd understand this more, but again, she was NOT aware. Based on her behaviour in SWM, this would be out of character for Lily.

Someone having a moral stance you personally disagree with doesn't automatically make them a bad person.

If your moral stance is that James's past actions are completely unforgivable, and you could not personally date someone who did what he did, no matter how he evolved as a person, that's perfectly fine. As I've established, Lily was not aware of any continuing wrongdoing, nor would she have validated or supported it had she been aware. Lily's belief was that the person she was currently dating was a good person. She believed in redemption and second chances. If you personally do not believe in redemption or second chances, I'd question why you even like Snape, but ultimately that's your prerogative. However, believing otherwise doesn't make Lily a bad person nor selfish, even if you personally disagree or think she was wrong. People are allowed to be mistaken.

Snape was probably less relevant to their lives than you think.

Like to be quite honest, they were fighting a war and priorities had shifted, as they often do in adulthood. Lily ended her friendship with Sev, and after Hogwarts James and Lily almost certainly had no association with him whatsoever. Is Lily expected to continually self-flagellate over Snape for the rest of her life? Is she expected to take him into account in every decision she makes, forever? Believe it or not James and Lily existed separately to Snape, rather than as extensions of his character. They moved on. Snape didn't, that's what makes him beautiful-- and yes there's a reason why Snape couldn't move on, but, again, that is not Lily's responsibility. It seems reasonable to me that, particularly given the extreme nature of her circumstances, Lily would take into account first and foremost the actions she observed from James in the present, rather than what he did in the past. See above re: Lily owes Snape nothing.

Being selfless, kind, or a good person doesn't make one perfect.

When I say Lily was selfless, I do NOT mean that she was flawless. If this is your takeaway I worry for you. Also, enough about the Virgin Mary lol. Anyway, humans are complex, and selfless people are capable of selfishness on occasion. Everyone is. A certain amount of selfishness is not only normal, it can be a good thing and necessary for protecting yourself. When Lily ended her friendship with Sev, it was something she was doing for herself, so in the most technical sense (and it's still a huge stretch) it can be viewed as selfish. Nobody is or should be 100% selfless all the time. So even were I to concede that she was selfish in marrying James (which I don't) it doesn't preclude her being a selfless person in general.

Being selfless, kind, or a good person doesn't make a female character 'unrealistic.'

What even is this argument, honestly. Like do you just not believe in the existence of good women irl? Suspicious. I would gently suggest that if you find it unrealistic (or boring) for a woman to be a good person, that's maybe something you should take a closer look at. If your automatic assumption about a woman is that she must have married a man for his money, I would also interrogate that belief.

idk she was a teenage girl, pls develop some empathy

once you come down from your podium in the unholy tribunal, it might be worth considering female characters (and women in general) as human, and not just avatars who simply react to the emotional turmoil of men. At absolute worst you could assume that she was tricked by James (which I still disagree with, but it's a slightly more generous reading) or was blind and naive. All of which are more understandable than, for some reason, assuming she was a conniving bitch who wanted to hurt Snape and selfishly marry into wealth. Ultimately her decision to marry James probably had nothing to do with Snape at all. She was 21 when she died. Bad judgment is common at that age, and it's not necessarily a product of selfishness at all. Look, I'd understand this whole thing more if everyone was in their 30s. But is it not the teenage girl experience of all time to date an asshole? Do you have no empathy for that situation? Like I said, I'm arguing this based on the idea that James was completely irredeemable; would an abuser not abuse his girlfriend too? Would someone who is evil and cruel in all respects not also display cruelty to his wife? Can you not summon up an ounce of empathy for a 17 year old who might have thought, as many young girls do, 'I can fix him?'

To conclude, I think that the idea that Lily marrying a bully makes her a bad person is just rooted in lack of empathy for her as a character. Despite spending hours dissecting every last thought process a man might have had, there's no attempt at all to try and understand Lily's motives, rather they're considered exclusively from the perspective of Snape's emotions. This is unfair.

I don't doubt that it hurt Snape's feelings for Lily to date and marry James. But Snape's feelings are no longer her concern. She owes him nothing. Sev called his best friend a slur publicly and joined an organisation that wanted to murder her, with no respect for her feelings at all. They are no longer friends, and he has no right whatsoever to expect her to consider his own emotional needs anymore, and her choices no longer have anything to do with him. Nor should they have.

Whether or not you think it was a mistake for Lily to marry James, that's Lily's problem. Not Snape's. If you truly believe James was a monster, logically it's Lily you should be feeling sorry for. The fact that there's no empathy for her to be found, and that people revert so quickly to the Top 100 Misogyny Classic of 'she must be a gold digger' speaks for itself.

[mandy-asimp]

When She Calls

Lilia Calderu x Life!reader (she/her)

Warnings: language, deaths, sprinkles of angst, fluff, smut (but that's for waaay down the build up), whole lotta friendship, I'm like 87% sure that's it

Summary: when Life is asked to make a promise, she doesn't seem to be able to say no. But that promise was going to be served out so much longer than what she could see.

Chapter 1

Story masterlist

chapter 2

Lilia was lost in her own thoughts. The regret of just leaving her cat like that, her familiar, it was gnawing at her. Thoughts of what could go wrong clashing with what will go wrong. Even as she stood behind the coven and stared out to the house in the sand. Her ears tuning out whatever Agatha was saying as a faint meow emitted from behind her. 

Her head whipped around, swearing she would see her fuzzy friend right near her feet. Calming all her nerves of something actually has happened. “Lilia? Are you coming?” Alice softly spoke, her eyes looking back into the Road trying to figure out what the other was seeing.

She didn't answer right away, “Yeah…yes.” 

~

Life, as a white cat once more,  waited in the tree right above the exit. Watching as each one slid down the ground and onto the other. All crowding over the lost member. Her heart felt heavy to see the woman’s soul stand and stare down at herself. She was shouting for them to see her, but deep down she knew that it was no use. Even as her sad blue eyes glanced up to the trees, she could feel a warmth consuming her transparent self. There she saw the white subtle glow and her brows furrowed. 

“Is this it?” Her voice was weak as she spoke to the cat. Only to watch as she bowed her head in apologies. “What happens now?” But the cat didn’t answer. Instead they both watched as the ‘coven’ started preparing a burial for the lost member.

There was nothing more to be done on Life’s part. All she could do was wait for the inevitable to occur. The moment that Death would appear to make her claim, and she knew the counterpart would stick around. To attempt her hand with her former lover just once more now that she couldn't go far. Life knew that she’d be pulled right along to appear. Tied right back together. Yet, all she could hope was to stay in cat form just a little longer. To hide herself just for a few more moments.

Then suddenly, from the branches she resided on, she was falling through the air. Seeing above the entire Road and its mysterious glory, down to the dirt road that was soon to be under her paws. Her paws, she was still in cat form thankfully. As she kept falling, she could hear the screams from the coven begin to fade in. “How did you get here?!” Agatha’s yell echoed into the sky.

“I was in the neighborhood!” Rio had this twisted grin as she crept forward. Skipping in her step to hand over a leaf from her hand. “M’ lady!” 

Except all attention from her dropped when the cat did as well. She made a perfect landing and just sat while looking amongst the witches. “Dolcezza?” Lilia whispered, watching the cat yawn and flash her sharpest teeth. 

“Lilia, your cat followed you to the Road?” The young boy furrowed his brows, making a clicking noise as he crouched. 

Rio smirked though, she knew exactly who that cat was. She walked over and picked up the ball of white and held her at arm's length, her dirt covered hands ruining her perfect coat.. “This is where you’ve been hiding? As a cat? A familiar?” Her smirk was mocking. Her espresso iris shimmered with anticipation to tell the truth. “You do know who your cat really is right?”

“Meow!” She protested with a bite to her hand. Being dropped instantly to the ground and hopping back to Lilia’s side. Brushing herself all against her legs, glaring at the green witch in warning.

Agatha instantly knew her theory was correct. Life and Death were connected hand in hand. Of course Rio would be able to tell off the bat. That was her lighter half. The brunette, glancing between the both, gave another frustrated groan before storming off. Teen followed right behind and called after her. Leaving the other four to awkwardly stare at Rio. 

“Sup..I’m Rio!” She took in the setting she had now found herself in. “So what, we're just supposed to walk this thing?” Her eyes were looking towards the way Agatha and the boy had gone. Her answer was a collection of confirmations before she went whistling down the way. 

“What a scary bitch.” Lilia hummed her opinion. Eyes falling to the cat at her feet. “How did you get here?” She scooped Life up and cradled her into her arms, noting the way the paws had wrapped around her arm almost in a relieved way. Lilia knew that leaving her familiar wasn’t the right choice, that she needed her for this just as much as anything else. And it was like the feeling was reciprocated from the feline.

Alice came closer, putting out a hand to pet the soft fur. “What did Rio mean by who this is?” She held a soft tone while awing over the precious creature. The oldest only shrugged and wondered the same thing. 

“Meow..” Life pushed her head further into Alice’s hand and purred slightly. 

~

They stood at the next trial's door and the weight of it all was settling on Alice. Especially as she stared at the wooden cabin with the moon on the door representing the fire stage. “Nope. Not doing it.” She quickly turned to go the other way. Everyone was stunned at the reaction just before chasing after the protection witch. 

“Alice!” Agatha led closest behind her. Her hands clasped together the entire time. “What's the plan Alice?” 

Her red tips shook with her head, “I dunno, but it's anything but that.” She kept moving backwards. It was all too close for her to face. Her biggest nightmare was not something she was ready for. Not after seeing how close Jen’s had put them to death.

“Yes, it's horrible, I agree..” her eyes caught a glimpse of the new cabin. “But I think the road disagrees.” She drew the focus right to the trial and shrugged. Hands up as she only saw one way, which was through the cabin.

Rio, eager to know, pointed to the cat. “What about her?” It was teasing. “Are we really bringing the cat into this? What if something is revealed?”

“What are you trying to imply?” Lilia bit back, holding her familiar tighter just slightly and eyes narrowing greatly. “I’m not leaving her out for the Road to get her. What type of witch would I be leaving my familiar?”

Rio chuckled, finger raising and pointing right at Life. Seeing her exactly for who she was. “That is no familiar, but let’s see if The Road accepts this cat form.”

The old witch stood with Alice in silence, her brows furrowing. Letting her enter before setting the cat down and questioning her for a moment. “She’s just a cat, right?” Alice raised as she tilted her head.

Life gazed heavily onto Lilia, losing herself into her brown eyes and meowing a few times over. “I have no idea.” The words came tumbling out from the woman. “She looks like a cat. Sounds like a cat.”

“No reason not to believe she's not a cat.” Jen finished as she passed into the trial. Taking a deep breath before entering. The two shared one last look before agreeing silently to go in together. Life trailing a few steps behind, her only thought was to stay a cat.

But, life wasn't fair for Life herself even. The Road finally counted her into the reality of it and her powers were rendered useless. Meaning she stood at the doorway with her eyes closed as she already knew. She already knew she was exposed for who she was. 

Life stood furthest away in a simple getup. The white boho pants hung low and gracefully fell down her legs. Covering the white boots that added to her height just slightly. The top matched, only it was tied between her breast and revealing her iridescent skin that shimmered in every light and step. The bell sleeves were the most dramatic as they hung at her sides. The blonde curls had been swapped out for long blonde waves that cascaded down her back.

“Welcome to the party!” Rio had her gaze locked to the other by the door. Her cocky smirk of being right was taunting. “It’s nice to see you eye-to-eye.”

The blonde could only stand perfectly in place. Inspecting each reaction to her true self and trying to figure out where to go from here. “It’s not to see you.” She spoke with quiet venom. The gray eyes were sharp and full of emotions as she still had yet to move. 

“Oh! Kitten! Don't act so cold to see us, you came here all on your own. I saw you sneak in while we were opening the door. You knew what you were getting into!” Agatha came from checking herself out, eyes now glued to the counterpart from a distance. “I knew those eyes were too purposeful for a cat.”

The other four were mildly confused. “I’m sorry, can someone explain who she is or are we going to stay uninformed?” Jen had waved her hand in the air, speaking on everyone's behalf. “First we get Rio’s crazy ass and now Lilia’s cat..isn’t a cat? Along with Agatha knowing both of them? Does nobody else see how she could easily be a part of the deeper intentions?”

“I can assure you, on everything that makes me up, I am not with her.” A sharp white acrylic was pointed at the purple witch. “I would rather be stripped of everything before I worked alongside her.”

“That’s so harsh, kitty. You know I have no deeper meaning but to get my power back. And besides, you’re too much of a goody-two-shoes for my line.” Agatha scoffed. Her icy blue eyes bored over. Her mind worked to figure out how much of a loop hole she was now granted with. She was going to make it off this road with or without anyone, and Life herself was going to help. This might work out better than she anticipated.

Rio was the first to step closer to her though, knowing she was the only one who would stand any real chance against Life. “So..care to explain?” She beamed sinisterly as she stepped over. Giving the perfect view to the ‘coven’ that awaited answers.

“You know you’re a part of that explanation right?” Life raised a challenging look to Rio first, and when there was no reaction…her gray gaze snapped to Agatha. 

“No. Let's keep moving on. I don't want to be here forever, no wonder how good I look here.” The brunette shook her free waves and set her path to the sound booth. Her lover, if that's what you could call their strangled relationship, Rio went right after her. 

Life still stood by the door, accepting the questioning stares before everyone went off to search for a clue. It felt cold, Lilia’s stare. For the first time she was staring at the eyes that she used to know as a cat. It was a swarm of hurt, confusion, and most of all..unfamiliarity. Life was a stranger to Lilia all over again, yet this time there was no harmony of meows to be her answers. No, this time she would have to speak if she wanted to continue her promise. 

~

Chapter 3.

[dimonds456-art]

PLEASE GIVE US THE OLD MAN RAMIREZ LORE!!!

GLADLY

I have two other asks like this and I wanna answer them each independently so get ready fghdsjka

Soos worked alongside Dipper in the 80s, at first acting just as a friend and adventuring partner. While Dipper moved to Gravity Falls, Soos is a native and working as a janitor in the elementary school at the time.

They met at the arcade, where Dipper was trying to find a ghost haunting one of the machines, and he found very quickly that Soos was not only a good partner, but also a good friend. They bonded pretty fast after that.

Dipper was mostly chasing ghosts, but he would take interest in other anomalies as well, leading him to writing down and sketching this weird grafiti he found in a cave once, then translating it once he got home. While he heeded the warning not to read it aloud, Soos... didn't. Dipper yelled at him over it, fearing the worst, but then nothing happened, so whatever. Weird cave drawing.

That night, Soos meets Bill Cipher.

Bill was not as patient as he was with Ford in canon. Here, he told Soos about a dimension with all the answers only a couple months into their friendship, IF that long. Soos had the technical know-how to build it, and Bill gave him the blueprints one at a time in his sleep. Then, to avoid suspicion since they both knew Dipper would assume Bill was a malicious entity, Bill had him put those blueprints outside Dipper's door for him to wake up to, making him think a cryptid was helping him, thus giving him confirmation bias about that other dimension of weirdness.

Portal test happens, Soos gets pulled through, and he puts two and two together. He tells Dipper immediately about what he saw, which lead to him confessing everything. Dipper rightfully got mad at him for lying, which caused Soos to run. But at this point, he'd made a possession deal with Bill, and Bill uses Soos' body to torment Dipper.

Soos, wracked with guilt, immerses himself in the arcade. He plays games in a form of avoidance, eventually getting addicted to them as McGucket did the memory gun.

There is one game in particular, however, that was more addicting than the others. I'm picturing it as a bit of a sim, which IS strange for an arcade. This game talks directly to Soos, telling him that life would be better in a video game, to which he agrees. Things tend to just work out that way.

Over the next few months/years, the game takes pieces from Soos and transfers them into the game itself. Soos doesn't notice at first, only feeling more and more lost and depressed, especially after he goes to check on Dipper only to find him missing...? And yeah, of course he wants to search for his friend, but he not only doesn't trust himself anymore, but he also feels that pull back to the cabinet and just makes his situation worse.

After a while, the game asks him again if he would like to become a video game, to which he says yes. The game then offers to transfer the rest of him inside, and Soos freaks out. He didn't mean it literally, even if it still doesn't sound too bad...? But the change freaks him out too bad, and he refuses.

The game tries to do it anyway, resulting in a torn sense of self. Old Man Ramírez is that result, his entire life being viewed as a video game. He's unable to take anything more seriously than one would a plot point IN a game, and he often dissociates and daydreams when he's not actively running around looking for loot.

See, it turns out the ghost Dipper was looking for way back when? The ghost they caught was unrelated. There was still a different ghost inside the arcade machine, a ghost named Giffany. And Giffany refuses to let Soos go.

This brings us to modern day, when the Stan twins find out that Ramírez worked with the Author. They are able to figure out that Soos is in the machine, and dive in to look for him. Once they do find him, he rejects the machine and declares he's never gonna play a game again, before backtracking and admitting he might every now and then, but never to the point that he stops living again. They all escape, and though Soos is still extremely disoriented and needs to re-learn how to be a person, he starts being able to heal.

And yeah, in that "episode," part of the B plot is that everyone else's bodies are running around, reduced to their basic personalities intertwined with video game tropes. So like, Stan loves adventuring and causing trouble, so he just starts doing that and "scoring points" while doing it. Ford, who loves mysteries, starts basically dong escape rooms. Idk who else is there but Grauntie Mabel is trying to keep all the bodies together to make the transfer back easier.

Basically, instead of the memory gun, it's video games, and specifically Giffany. Soos becomes avoidant, thinking Dipper doesn't wanna see him, and feeling incredibly guilty over the Bill thing. His soul basically split from his body and it's kind of a metaphor for getting lost in the sauce, for lack of a better phrase fdshjk

[baphometsss]

(i was gonna send this in an ask but it got too long lol sorry) @mythalism re: your tags i'm not esp into the idea of the madonna complex re: mythal bc i think, like a lot of freudian ideas, it's insufficient at best and downright harmful at worst

like YES he did put her on a pedestal and yes that's part of the madonna complex, but i think it kind of does solas a disservice when it comes to his intellect bc his thinking is not really black and white enough for that imo. i think he was deluded about her but that was mainly borne from extreme devotion, and that level of devotion can only come from someone who is deeply emotionally unfulfilled

i think it's a lot more likely that he grew to distrust so many people during the war that the only person he really felt he could trust was mythal. mythal used him and kept him on a string so she could use his intellect as a weapon. he was a tool that she believed to be obedient and unconditionally loyal to her. then she went and betrayed him too, which was too much for him to accept, because it meant that he really couldn't trust anyone at all, and that screwed him up majorly and 'broke' him.

unfortunately it's similar to a really common thing that men do w/their emotions irl. i'm not trying to make a 1:1 comparison here because the context is wildly different, but we know that the ancient elves were highly emotional beings so i think it tracks. men have this culture of being emotionally shut off from their friends because vulnerability is seen as a weakness, so they put all their emotional vulnerability into their romantic and family relationships w/women. they see women as the kind of epitome of emotional vulnerability, so they unload on them in this really unhealthy way that leads to more emotional turmoil bc it's just too much. they bottle things up and don't share it with any of their male friends, and so they overwhelm the women in their lives with their emotional needs. when that woman inevitably fails to be able to meet them, she falls off the pedestal and she turns into the awful she-devil for not being there for him. or god forbid she has needs of her own that take precedent or are put on him to fulfil bc that's not allowed for someone with no autonomy. it is partly madonna complex but there's a lot more to it on the guy's part too.

like i said it's not a 1:1 comparison bc we're talking about a war and a genocide and mythal was probably never as 'good' as solas wants to remember her being, but it really makes me think of that. rather than toxic masculinity however it's a matter of repeated betrayals and traumas that fosters his behaviour re: mythal. solas didn't have anyone he could trust with his most intimate thoughts and feelings like he once did with mythal and other spirits long passed, and he's desperately clinging to that relationship bc his ability to trust has been broken so completely and he can't handle the trauma and guilt of the war alone. and ofc unlike mythal and the evanuris, solas holds a LOT of guilt about the titans and the blight. so no matter how much she screwed him over, she always stayed on that pedestal bc the alternative (dealing with it alone) was so much worse. (there's also the fact that mythal understood him as wisdom unlike the others who brought out the worst in him, and that mirror is important for him to retain his nature as wisdom and not pride, the latter of which which his trauma pushes him towards more and more)

essentially he's put all his emotional eggs in one basket regarding mythal. by the time inquisition rolls around, he's also been betrayed by his general and close friend, and he really doesn't trust anyone at all, so he's regressing even further. it makes the romance/friendship all the more special because the inquisitor shows him that it's only by opening yourself up to trust other people (the key being multiple people) again that you can really start to heal and move on instead of wallowing alone forever in your pain and grief.

The whole 'refuge for Mythal' thing is really interesting bc it shows that Solas really saw Mythal as being on his side when it couldn't be more obvious that she enjoyed the power of being queen of the Evanuris. He calls it a 'struggle' in the regret memory, but I don't think she was struggling as much as he thinks. Even Felassan realises how delusional he is about her. It's one of many things Solas is in denial about.

That said, it does seem like he was much more aware of Elgar'nan's evil than she was; I truly believe that Mythal found a kindred spirit in Elgar'nan and thought that she was the right one for him. She tempered him and mitigated the harm he did as much as she could (which doesnt seem to be that much, in all honesty). Whether or not they had romantic feelings for each other is up for debate, but I think it's very possible. There was likely an element of tension at being evenly matched in the way they were that gave their relationship a pathological edge. It was only when Solas told her about the Evanuris using the power of the Blight that she finally decided to take him seriously and challenge her husband and the rest of the Evanuris head-on.

It's also really revealing that the Blight was her final straw. Mythal obviously had no issue with slavery as long as her slaves were treated well. It's very reminiscent of real world attitudes some had towards their slaves ie that as long as you don't abuse them it's okay. They don't understand the fundamentally unethical nature of owning another person. It's why I don't buy the benevolence retcon because slavery is inherently cruel--something that both Solas and an elven Inquisitor can argue with Dorian about.

Yeah, Solas really is an unreliable narrator with Mythal and I really wish we'd had more perspectives other than his. I long to see Mythal in all her cunty glory but alas it will never be

[blackcoldcrackedheart]

I guess this is another what if/continuation.

Tommy felt ridiculous on checking in on Evan. But the guy hadn't answered his phone since letting Tommy know that he was being discharged from the hospital and his girlfriend, Ali, would be taking him home.

Tommy tried to not feel a pang of jealousy at that. He knew Buck had a girlfriend and was straight. Yes, he was an "ally" but it sort of stung since Tommy thought they had clicked when they first met in Evan's hospital room.

He thought Evan liked him, but it was clearly wishful thinking on Tommy's part. A part of him knew he should just be grateful that Evan still wanted to be friends with him after Tommy had told Evan that he was gay.

(Carla was weirdly supportive of Tommy being friends with Evan still, "I just think Buck and you could learn a lot from each other." She had told him nonchalantly after he had told her he felt weird continuing their friendship with all the Abby and looming feelings Tommy had for Evan.)

He knocked in Evan's apartment door, "Evan?"

No answer.

"Hey, Evan? Are you in there?" The fear and worry got to him, Evan wasn't answering his calls or texts and now he wasn't answering. If Ali was with him, then surely she would answer the door.

It was daring and infringing on Evan's personal space but he was genuinely worried; Tommy checked to see if the door was locked.

It wasn't.

"Evan?"

He had never been to Evens apartment, but he wasn't expecting the large airy industrial loft. He took a moment to look around the dark apartment, there was hardly any light in the kitchen except the light coming from the large windows that showed off DTLA.

He turned to his left and saw the soft glow of an orange light before he hear Evan's voice- it was rough and bordering on mad. "You know, most people would take the hint and leave me alone."

Tommy could hardly be upset at how cold Evan sounded, he was too worried about Evan. The man looked dejected and upset- his blue eyes red shot and his face blotchy.

"What happened?"

Evan sniffed, rubbing his nose with his sleeve. He let out a scoff that broke down into a sour sounding laugh. "Ali broke up with me."

"She what?" Tommy sat down on the table across from Evan, careful to leave space for where Evan was resting his cast covered leg. "Like now?"

"Yup." Evan nodded, his voice rough as he tried to avoid looking at Tommy. "She-uh, couldn't live with the fact that I'm a firefighter. I guess it freaked her out that she could lose me."

Tommy grimaced at that, it was something he had noticed in the past with his teammates and their exes. People loved scars on firefighters, it just freaked them knowing how they got them.

"Can't say I blame her." Evan admitted, he tried to pull a smile for Tommy's sake but Tommy could see the grimace still. "This is a lot for anyone, I know I'm a lot without my leg in this stupid cast."

"Hey!" Tommy gently touched said leg, "You're not a lot." He reminded the younger man pointedly, "You're going through a lot right now, you didn't ask for your leg to get crushed by a freaking firetruck." He sighed, watching as Evan leaned back in the couch. "Who's going to help you now?" Tommy asked after a few seconds of silence. He couldn't help but notice the stairs that more than likely led to Evan's bed and the bathroom that was clearly in the main floor.

"What do you mean?"

Tommy raised a brow at that, his mouth opening slightly. He figured he didn't need to clarify here. "I mean, you're currently using crutches and you live in a apartment with stairs." He looked up at the loft, "A lot of stairs." He shook his head, "is your sister planning on staying with you?"

"No." Evans confused face was staring to worry Tommy now, "She'll drop by, but I'm probably just gonna sleep on my couch, y'know, since the kitchen and bathroom are down here."

"Uh huh." Tommy pursed his lips, the logistics sounded...fine. "What's your plan for getting your clothes and stuff from your bedroom?"

Evan paused at that, clearly annoyed and not having thought out that far yet, "I can hop upstairs if I really need something or I'll ask Maddie or Bobby for help when they come by."

Tommy had a bad habit of keeping his head down and staying quiet. It was mostly out of fear and self preservation because when he did open his mouth during the most inopportune times he would end up saying the most out of pocket and random stuff like...

"Or you could stay with me."

The cat was running out of the bag now.

"Er- wh-what?"

Even Evan looked as confused as Tommy felt.

"Not like forever type of-" Tommy shook his head, hoping to start over as he paused to reset himself, rubbing his neck nervously as he tried to find the words all while his stomach was interested in bringing up his lunch again. "I have a house, it's a one story house, so no stairs to deal with and I have a guest bedroom with its own bathroom. It's a shower stall, so you wouldn't have issues getting in and out."

It was bold to assume Evan would even entertain the idea of Tommy's request since they had only known each other for five days.

There was a carton of milk in Tommy's fridge that Tommy had had longer than this...friendship?

"You don't have to say "Yes", obviously....I just don't want to leave you here. Especially since the first few days are the hardest and you're gonna be on pain meds for a while."

Despite thinking Evan would be weirded out, Evan looked thrilled and relieved- a weird mixture of aww and feelings hit Tommy hard in his heart. Evan looked so adorable, blushing as he smiled hard at Tommy. "You would let me stay? I mean- I-I wouldn't mind. It's just taking care of me might be a lot. Im probably gonna complain about my leg when im not loopy on those pain meds."

Tommy chuckled, patting Evan's leg, "After what you went through, you should be able to complain."

That got Evan to laugh, he was already looking and sounding bright to Tommy's ears.

It suited Evan well.

(This crush was gonna drive Tommy crazy.)

"It's just- I should probably pay you rent or something."

Tommy eyed the loft, "I don't even want to know what you're paying rent for this place, keep your money. I just want you to focus on getting better. At least when you're staying with me, I don't have to worry about you falling down multiple steps just so you can change your shirt."

Evan still didn't look fully convinced, "I don't know, Tommy. I- I wouldn't be in the way? I mean, we just met. You're gonna get sick of me real-"

"I don't think I could ever get sick of you, Evan."

Tommy didn't have the rationale to wince or over think about how sincere he sounded. He didn't even want to know what he looked liked while saying it.

Because Evan's reaction was worth it. The younger man seemed to flush all over, his eyes dilating as his mouth dropped open for a bit.

Tommy couldn't help but linger at Evan's lips.

"Y-yeah. O-okay." Evan licked his lips, Tommy could have sworn Evan's eyes dropped to Tommy's lips, but that was definitely wishful thinking. "It would probably be easier to stay with you then here right now."

Tommy had to get back to being rational and logical about this.

"Exactly." He stood up, "I can pack a bag for you and then we can head home? Maybe pick up some dinner on the way, we can pick up some Thai food."

Evan's relieved and grateful smile had Tommy grinning back like an idiot. "Sounds great."

"Great." He clapped his hands together, "Just point me to where you keep your luggage."

Thirty minutes later Tommy was helping Evan get into his truck.

It was definitely a stupid idea to have his crush stay with him, but Tommy couldn't help but feel incredibly giddy as he and Evan talked throughout the car ride to the restaurant and then to Tommy’s house.

Maybe this could be the start of a beautiful friendship...once Tommy got over his crush on Evan.

[windvexer]

You just have to be good at one thing.

Hear me out. This is just an example, but let's just say the one thing I can actually do really well on a magical level is dig a ditch.

It's a super earthy activity. It makes sense to me. Earth stuff just works well for me. The technique I've found to do this magically is really fulfilling to me - maybe I draw lines in trays of salt, or go outside and dig with a trowel. And it works for me.

When I magically dig a ditch, magical ditches are dug.

Someone wants a friendship spell? I dig a friend-shaped ditch around them that friends fall into.

Someone wants money? I dig a sloping ditch that leads from Money to their bank account.

Someone wants protection? I dig a ditch and use that as a foundational barrier, like a moat.

Other stuff might not work. Maybe I can't really raise up a wall. Maybe when I try to work magic with the conceptual energies of money and prosperity in a candle spell, it just fizzles out and falls flat. Maybe I can't conjure a spirit road for shit, unless I'm digging a lazy river for the spirits to float down on.

I enjoy casting a wide net and doing many magical experiments, but lately I've been leaning into magic that just works really well for me. And what I've realized is that I end up doing the same things, over and over again.

Maybe all I can do magically is tie a knot. Maybe all I can do is break a stick. It kind of feels like cheating, like mashing a combo move you know will win every time. Simultaneously, it makes me feel like I'm not as well-rounded as I thought I was. All I'm doing over here is digging ditches.

Anyway, I just wanted to say ~ I think an important avenue of exploration is finding any little thing you can reliably do, and going full hog. After all, life as we know it would collapse without ditches.

[butch-king-frankenstein]

What didn't you like about poly life?

where to start

I did my best to make this list out of things that I genuinely believe are trends within the community and not just annoying traits of specific people I dated, but maybe I'm wrong. anyway here are the things I did not like about trying to be poly

the way that so many poly people talk a big game about "not believing in hierarchical relationship practices" while also clearly having a mental list of their romantic/sexual relationships from most to least important

relatedly: the way some people claim to believe in "relationship anarchy" while having a partner who would clearly just be their husband/wife/singular-monog-partner if they were willing to close off the potential of sex with their friends

the devaluation of any friendship that doesn't become sexual

the tendency of poly people to overextend themselves by picking up too many partners, leading to them allowing their lower-priority relationships to collapse in a way that inevitably hurts everyone involved

the way that poly people are expected to only feel positively about their partners acquiring other partners/new hookups/etc., even when those new relationships demonstrably lessen the amount of effort their partners put into their relationships with them

the way that no one actually wants to deal with their partners' feelings of jealousy in any kind of healthy way, and instead wants to just go "it's natural to be jealous sometimes :)" and then have the conversation stop

how the idea that "no one person should be responsible for all your needs" gets weaponized as an excuse for emotionally neglecting one's partners

similarly, how the concept of "personal autonomy" gets weaponized against anyone who actually wants their partner to do something for them

the potential for selfish individualism it holds! and the way people act like it's inherently some kind of community-building principle, when it can just as easily be about assembling a group of people who will fulfill your needs while refusing to give back to them

more broadly, I suppose, how polyamory is treated as this inherently radical thing, when it's actually just another way that you can structure a relationship, and talking about it like it's some kind of great leap forward is reductive and shortsighted and very very silly

[chiaraforfun]

I think they both make fair points actually, because what @elenasalvatore1 is referred to what happened once they where together, and @jilyydoe to both before and during.

I've always been a big fan of Hinny, and I find this extremely true analysis a bit unsettling, lmao. However, I would like to clarify 3 points that are very subjective.

The first is that yes, Harry and Ginny probably wouldn’t have stayed together forever instead of what Rowling later decided, because they were likely together for insufficient reasons. At the same time, I don’t see Harry with Hermione as a good match (I could easily write a fanfic about it because it would work well as a romance, just to be clear). I don’t know if it’s because they literally grew up together, and I can’t fully support those couples who date young and end up marrying, but I never saw them as "in love".

They had a beautiful friendship, that's it.

However, it's also true that I love Romione, which goes against that last thought, BUT there has always been that... I don’t know... distance? The friendship that Hermione and Harry shared is not the same as that between Hermione and Ron. You could almost feel that tension from the start. So, I guess it makes less sense to me.

Point two: Ginny in the books is very different from the films, where they made her too flat, and while it may be true that the premises of their relationship were somewhat toxic (okay, maybe a bit more than somewhat), them being together makes sense. I reiterate, not forever, because I believe they would inevitably break up sooner or later, but in the books, it makes sense, and she is fantastic. I mean, she is mean to Fleur behind her back, but so is the rest of them beside a few if I remember properly. It's not an excuse but I think I remember Ginny and Hermione both making fun with Mrs Weasley.

She makes fun of Ron but let's be realistic, I did the same with my brother and he did the same with me. I'm not proud and growing up we changed but let's not forget she's still young!

All the dynamics makes sense if you think of her age.

We are so used to see the golden trio as "older" because of what they fight but in truth they are not.

So I guess I do give her a bit of an excuse for her behaviour. Also because she was funny, I'm sorry.

And then, as @jilyydoe pointed out, Harry's last thought before dying was about her so—why not!

Point three: for once, we’re not reading about the extremely predictable relationship between the protagonist and another main character. I mean, come on, let’s break away a bit. I love f/m friendship!

True friends, not romanticised.

Point 4 (that I forgot about): I really don't think that Ginny loves because of his popularity.

Surely that’s the reason she had a crush on him in the first year, but I don’t think that’s the reason she fell in love with him. I believe the story of the younger sister falling in love with her older brother's friend is an old classic, but there’s a deeper reason behind it. And it's the same thing here, among many reasons, right? I mean, Harry was constantly with Ron, he spent a lot of time with the rest of the brothers, and it often happened that he was at the Weasley house. In my opinion, she started to fall in love with him precisely by spending time together, gradually more and more, especially since at the beginning she was a bit pushed aside by her brother, lol. Then, indeed, she tried to have her own experiences and well, we all know how it went from there, toxic dynamics included.

But, I don’t think she fell in love with him for popularity. That, I would say, was just the spark that ignited everything else

I get all your other points and yess it's ruined a bit my idea, I won't idolise their relationship anymore (😭 ), and I get it, it's not that perfect, but maybe that's why I like Hinny so much; it’s unpredictable. It’s a couple that means nothing from a distance, but for them, it’s everything.

I don’t know, it makes sense to me, and I apologize for not being able to explain myself better. English is not my native language, and unfortunately, I don’t know how else to convey these concepts.

P.S.: The thing that makes me cringe a little about Hinny, I have to admit, is that it gives me a bit of a “mommy issues” vibe because of the hair, lmao.

Ya'll really gonna come in here and tell me you love Harry Potter but you hate Hinny.

You're going to tell me to my face that you love Harry James Potter, a man who has been through so much. Lost his whole entire family., and you're going to deny him his greatest source of comfort.

Are you actually going to tell me that you think ferret face or someone who Harry has described as a sister to him is a better fit for him than someone who makes him happier than he can ever remember being.

He was willing to die happily just thinking about her kissing him. Literally his last dying thought but you're gonna come here and tell me that you hate true love.

Please.

[letmedixonyou]

i'm not yours - part 14

summary: the page from your journal after what Daryl did mere hours ago.

words: 323 - short, concise ending

A/N: And with this part, we are finishing the "i'm not yours" and I am so, so grateful for all the people that liked, commented and reblogged my work! Sending hugs and kisses to all of you, especially the ones who've been here since the beginning! Love you, muffins!

I want to announce that there will be sequel to "i'm not yours"! Soon, muffins, soon... keep an eye out 🖤😉

Read previous part here!

From Y/N journal

How the hell did I end up here?

All those months of denying my feelings. Trying so hard to make myself not feel even the tiniest bit of love towards him, and now he gets a tiny bit tipsy and decides to kiss me like it's nothing?! Like what we've been through as friends didn't matter anymore, and this whole friendship is a joke to him? Am I a joke to him?

What the fuck, Daryl?! Why?

I can't deny, I thought about kissing him tonight too. His blue eyes watching me so intently and his lips so fucking kissable, but I'd never actually act on it. I've been doing so well at pretending I don't have any feelings for him. What now? What am I supposed to do now? Just go about my life and forget about it? Should I talk to him? He wouldn't open the doors… Not when he's in the state he is.

He walked off from me, so quickly, I wasn't able to squeeze a word out of my mouth. His face told me he wasn't sure why he did it, either. I wanted to tell him that it was okay, even if it wasn't. I wanted to tell him that it doesn't matter; it's just a kiss, it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't have to mean anything. We were both under the influence. Things like that happen, right?

Is it possible he

No, no, no, do not even think like that. This begs for another heartbreak. I cannot take another heartbreak.

This is so confusing…

You told me I'd never be yours. You told me it won't happen. And I accepted it. I held my head high and made sure that I was okay with being your friend again, Daryl. Clearly, something changed. What changed?!

I'm never going to be yours. I'm not yours… I'm not yours… I'm not yours…

Am I yours?

[altschmerzes]

i need to stop shadowboxing the concept of romance when i write. i need to make my brain go to a world where romance doesn’t exist when i write because feeling its constant presence and people’s expectations of its presence and reading in of its presence is making me a worse writer.

like. thinking a lot about that post that’s going around rn about Books That Are Clearly Afraid Of The Reader. been thinking about how fear of being interpreted or perceived or whatever permeates a Lot of what i do and always has, creatively, and frankly compromises it, especially in terms of fear of people reading romance into my stuff because of how much i write about interpersonal relationships and intimacy and reliance and vulnerability and intense emotional situations.

i need to stop trying to build a boat with my main priority being ‘i dont want people to insist to me that this is a car or make people feel tricked into seeing a car etc etc’ when there is actually no part of this boat that needs to be made with cars in mind at all i could just Build The Damn Boat. this metaphor got lost.

point is i need to stop letting romance take up space in my stories at all. even if it's just as something i'm doing backflips over and around. i need to just start writing about platonic relationships - friendships, queerplatonic relationships, familial relationships, etc - without feeling like i need to first disprove romance as an automated and inherent assumption. romance should have no quarter here, even in feeling forced to deny it.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

how could one become friends w/ you? <:o

Awh <3 Tha s so sweet.... Idrk.... Depends what u mean by friend ! i Consider A lot of Ppl on tumblr To be "my friend" Even tho most of them i've never Had a one-on-one convosation with.

Truthishly I Am Sorta Unreachable Cus The Internet Is Too Much for me--

By Default i am a pretty solitary person / private / Don't start a lot of conversations / Always been this way. and Well I Have been ONline for a LOng time, So there's all these ppl i know, Like so many effing people, More all the time, I can't rly keep up , I Know a lot of ppl wanna talk to me, and thats sweet, But i rly don't feel like talking that much, So when i do talk I Give priority to my old friends My 10+ Year friends Because i don't have To explain anything to them so its less draining Also they take up the most space in my heart (obvs)

I'm Legiterally just not a very social creature I Require a lot of time to live internal. i like tumblr cus I feel Like Ppl on here are my friends And we're All just having nice quiet parallel play-time "Ambient Friendships" i call it

i feel it is still possible For me to make new friends But it's a slow process A Gradual Warm-Up & I Have to feel some kind of unspoken Intuitive nudge towards U haha idk. I rly like ppl who take it slow Slowness helps me trust

Sorry this is probly not helpful at all LOL i appreciate u! idk how to exist. :hearttttt: pmd9