#(I wonder the same thing in BG3 but at least there I can pretend at a reason)

[ipcearn]

I wish the Traveller spoke more often

[spacebarbarianweird]

Hi there, I had this fun idea - while the tinkerer class isn't playable in BG3, can we pretend for a while that it is? You know, Tav and Astarion both showing middle finger to all the gods... Tav can even help him with his condition. Some gadget blocking the sun, artficial blood, stuff like that. Honestly, the of them being this steampunk couple of a vampire rogue and Tav with enhanced crossbow or a gun has made my day. So - do you have aby headcanons about that?

OR perhaps Astarion and an Alchemist who likes to trick people too if that makes you happier? 😉

You are the first to request Artificer! People forget this class since it's not in the game, though, it's official. But some DM believe the Artificers bring unnecessary steampunk vibes.

There is also some naughty, to say the least, stuff, let me know if you want more of this.

Masterlist

Headcanons

Astarion x Artificer!Tav

In the realm of magic, you are that bitch who brings a gun to a knife fight.

You construct machines and mechanisms out of nothing, enchanting them with unique techno-magic,

Armour to withstand necrotic damage? A healing helmet? A prosthetic hand? A full-time "living" creature, a Nimblewright?

There is nothing you can't do with your crafty hands.

Things are complicated in terms of love.

You are more interested in cogs and gears rather than dates and sex.

You've tried once and it was a huge "ugh".

Virginity is wasted for nothing.

So, you've also learned to make sex toys but it's this side job you pray no one will ever know about.

But customers are never unsatisfied though you sometimes get in trouble.

Mostly, the owners of local brothels try to accuse you of lewd misconduct.

You are finally tired of all this shit and decide to move places.

And the mindflayers take you.

You easily escape, making small machines out of debris to help you survive this madness.

You construct armor, and you enhance swords.

Magic sucks, behold the science!

Astarion makes moves to you, successfully seducing you.

And let's say, none of your inventions have ever satisfied you the same way this troubled vampire does.

You think you are in love. And you believe he is, too.

But later he confesses to you that it was a lie.

He used you. And he is sorry.

You are heartbroken, at the very least. You feel used.

You break up with Astarion, leaving him alone in his misery.

But it doesn't mean you want him to suffer - you kill his master, secure his freedom.

When it all ends, he starts burning alive - running to the shadows, like a rat chased by cats.

You feel bad, especially when you hear vicious mockery from your friends.

But you fail, losing his track underground.

That night, you cry.

The thing is, you've never stopped loving him. You were just too stubborn to admit it. Besides, gods, Astarion tried to be honest for the first time in his fucking life.

And you punished him for opening his heart.

What a vile creature you are?

Half a year later, you meet him at the party.

Astarion looks happy - he is an adventurer and a hero, living his life to the fullest.

And he tells you something that makes your heart stop.

"I wonder if we could be together after all, you know. But it seems like you have a new life, and I am happy for you."

You take his hands in yours and ask him to go somewhere private.

Then, you apologize. You say how much you've missed him and that you love him. And you want to be together.

Instead of an answer, he hugs you.

"There is nothing I want more," he whispers.

In the morning, you leave together to find a place that fits both of you.

Living with Astarion is worth of effort, but sometimes it's almost unbearable.

His nightmares, his breakdowns.

You wonder how tf he survived on his own all these lonely months.

You open your artificer shop in Neverwinter, and Astarion becomes a professional monster hunter.

Thanks to you, he doesn't need to hide in the shadows.

You make him a cape that creates a field protecting him from the sun. The eye lenses to make his eyes green.

You also learn alchemy - first, to make potions to ease his nightmares and anxieties.

Later, you make them to satiate his hunger.

Your crafty hands also come in use in healing his sexual trauma.

Astarion craves intimacy, he wants to enjoy sex. He just can't make himself undress and make love to you.

Problem solved - he can fuck you with a toy you've constructed while being fully dressed and in control.

You also use some of your inventions on Astarion, helping him to reconnect with his own sexuality.

One day, he pins you to the bed, making love to you without any extra tools.

It's been such a wild night that your neighbors "politely" asked to install soundproof shields.

You keep learning alchemy, making more and more potions, and one day you finally get your answers.

There is a way to make Astarion mortal without interfering with dark magic or soul-retrieving pacts.

Science, bitches.

Astarion is hesitant. He is eager to drink any potion you make, but being transformed back into a mortal is very extreme.

You ask Astarion to bring him test subjects.

He drags you a deranged vampire, one of the most miserable Cazador's victims - completely insane, almost an animal, that was hunting in the dark caves.

And it works.

The deranged vampire turns into a deranged mortal. But mortal.

Astarion takes the potion, but, maybe, it's because of how long he's been a vampire or because he's an elf, he doesn't turn immediately.

He falls to the floor comatose.

He stays like that for a month, a terrible and long month when you think you've lost him.

One evening, you hear a strange sound.

Breathing.

He breathes in his unconsciousness.

You put your hand on Astarion's chest.

Heartbeat.

You did it. You cured him.

He wakes up with you on his chest, dizzy and exhausted with some memory gaps.

Piercing you with his natural green eyes.

--

Tag list

@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati @lynnlovesthestars @marina-and-the-memes @waking-electric @ayselluna @connorsui @asterordinary @darkarchangel96 @locallegume @brainfullofhotsauce @coffeeanddonutscafe 

[riddlerosehearts]

some more, slightly longwinded thoughts on various things i've done in act 1 of bg3 with my half-elf bard tav, elenion:

i ran into raphael and basically told him to fuck off because why would we ever accept "help" from a devil after seeing what just happened with wyll and mizora??

i also investigated the beach and found the harpies. i wonder if it was actually them that the squirrels were complaining about earlier and not alfira's beautiful song.

gale is hilarious but i'm now imagining elenion, who has already chosen to project an image of them on a romantic walk with gale into his head, rolling their eyes and thinking "so that's what i might be getting myself into if we survive all this."

i think i need to try and get into the habit of talking to everyone at camp after anything big happens even if they don't have a ! over their heads. i went to camp and accidentally clicked on astarion, and he had quite a bit to say about raphael and then so did everyone else!

lae'zel is so funny sometimes actually. i kind of love her.

also, the investigate the beach quest seems to have bugged out for me--it didn't complete after getting the letter from the kid we saved, which i assume was the end of the quest, but the objective was still to find mol who had no new dialogue. and then after i beat the goblin leaders the quest suddenly completed and changed to say "the situation has changed in the grove. mol is busy dealing with other matters." that's kind of annoying, but i'm guessing/hoping it won't really cause any issues??

anyway. i investigated kagha, and when i confronted her i got an option to recite the history told on the plaques in the grove as a way of convincing her to turn against the shadow druids. i knew my dedication to reading every bit of flavor text that i can find would come in handy somewhere! also, the game says that you just speak the text that was etched into the plaques, but since elenion is a bard i'm choosing to pretend that he turned it into a song.

after that i set out toward the goblin camp to save halsin and defeat the leaders. on the way there i got a dream sequence with the guardian i made in character creation, going "i've been protecting you from everything and btw you should totally embrace the ilithid powers". i had no idea what the guardian was going to be used for so i just made her look basically like how i thought elenion's mother would look, except i gave her the wrong eye color by mistake. i imagine that would feel very strange and would make it obvious that someone is trying to magically use his mother's face to manipulate him but has gotten a significant detail wrong.

everyone else at camp had the same dream and all had something to say about it! elenion basically told everyone he isn't sure he trusts this mysterious dream visitor, because really, i just do not see why he should from a roleplay perspective. he also is not opening his mind to the tadpole specimens, at least not for now. we'll see if anything that happens later in the story changes that.

minthara wiped my party once when i tried fighting her normally, so the second time around i killed her by luring her onto a bridge and then destroying it out from under her. i didn't get her loot that way, but it was hilarious. will probably try to beat her legitimately on a second playthrough.

i forgot to say earlier, i love how investigating the shadow druids gives you the ability to make kagha see the error of her ways and redeem her. i am still kind of mad that she tried to imprison a child, but i think she's actually a very interesting character.

kind of hilarious to me how lae'zel was very clearly expressing... interest in my tav at the party and was all "well, it's your loss, then" when they turned her down whereas astarion, completely unprompted, was like "gods i wish i was having sex with someone right now. but not you obviously, that would be awful". 😭 well you know what, elenion is gorgeous and smart and a musician (an inherently sexy thing to be) so maybe that's your loss!

i think i also could've ended up getting a romantic scene with shadowheart (she wanted to share a bottle of wine after everyone else went to sleep), but i chose not to do anything with her. although now i'm curious if i could've done it and just, like, made it platonic somehow? or if sharing a bottle of wine with her would've automatically been romantic.

i've heard that if you trigger the weave scene with gale at the party then the other companions will have dialogue where they react to the budding romance. which sounds hilarious but i got his approval up very quickly just by having my character be nice to people, and got the weave scene earlier, so i didn't get that dialogue. oh well! i still got a very sweet conversation with him. all of this talk about tara makes me wish she could come on the journey with us :(

i'm so glad we get to see alfira again at the party. i wish she could be a companion tbh, it'd be nice to still have a bard around if you don't play as one.

and speaking of alfira, once again i'm obsessed with the dialogue options in this game:

i picked the mixed heritage option because although elenion hates to boast or reveal too much about himself, i think he is very proud of his family. but i love that you have the option to be like "if you're going to write a song about me then it obviously has to be about how hot i am" or "if you dare write a song about me i will actually kill you".

anyway uhhh. what else. i'm sure that i've missed plenty of things i could've done so far, for example i ended up finding a dead tiefling beside a telescope on a hill and i bet if i'd gone up there sooner i could've saved her. i bet i also could've gotten higher approval with at least karlach or lae'zel and seen what might've changed about their dialogue at the party if i'd progressed more in their quests first. i think i may have also missed the chance to adopt a baby owlbear. and i'll probably end up missing even more things! but that's fine because i already know i'm going to be doing multiple playthroughs of this game.

i think now before i do anything else i am going to work on karlach's personal quest, because i still haven't taken down those paladins and i need to get some answers out of her.