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#(I know some people without anxiety would maybe also be worried rn. But I just had a full blown panic attack which hopefully doesn't happen
the-mehlwurm · 8 days
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if im panicking because I heard somethibg in our apartment (maybe) am I allowed to wake up my sister and her boyfriend or is tgat weird
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wachtelspinat · 9 months
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Hey ! I’ve been seeing your art going around since your midnight crew stuff and I just recently stubble across your tumblr, thank to your beautiful overwatch art for our beloveds junkers ! I’ve been scrolling through your account and read about your experience of being a former graphic designer who is a doctor now. And damn. I can’t emphasize how much I admire you, especially as someone who is struggling really hard to choose between 2 careers paths ( with one of them being art related ). This is why I was wondering if you would be open to talk about how and why you switched from art to medecine ? Especially because most of the time I feel it happens more the other way around ? ( If it’s too personal just ignore this ask + sorry if you already talked about it before )
hey ! no worries, i don't expect ppl to scroll through my tumblr to find an answer for a question they might have. first of all thanks for your nice words, means a lot <3
i switched from art to medicine because my early 20-something-self was even more anxiety-ridden than my present-self, and being in art school and having to "perform" regularly was a nightmare. i'm talking about a time in which i was so scared of being perceived that i often skipped grocery shopping, just so i could avoid being around people. so like, pitching art related projects to peers and profs was eeh... especially because art is so personal oh my god. i still hate it when someone tries to sneak a peek while i'm drawing, makes me wanna throw my sketchbook and myself off the bridge. anyways so i always felt a 110% inadequate (plus i got a gf during that time who was so good to me and tried to get me out of my funk on multiple occasions (she was and still is an artist and has now a career as a freelancer and i'm rly proud of her) but i couldn't see that because i just compared the two of us all the time and sabotaged any attempt she made for having fun with drawing with her) that i sat down at some point and asked myself if i could do this any longer, and i came to the conclusion that no, it really kills me rn.
what made me go into the health sector? i don't even know anymore, i think it was a mixture of "i loved biology, esp. the human body in school" and "my mum is an icu nurse and talks a lot about hospitals, maybe i should check it out"... it was not a well thought through decision, which is so funny because studying medicine was a hell of a meatgrinder ride (also my anxiety and self hatred? still there, but now i wasn't judged anymore because of my art but instead being called a dumb idiot collectively with all the other students because nobody likes med students) and for some reason i was able to get through that despite it not being my passion at all, but i couldn't stand up for myself in art school. i don't even know if i could work through it nowadays, but the good thing is i don't have to ask myself this question anymore, because being a doctor pays the bills, and ever since i left art school i was able to just draw without consequence. which is nice to a degree, my artistic output is not tied to the means of generating money. on the other hand... idk, in another life with more confidence and less worries, i'd love to be some sort of character designer T_T
so yeah that's basically it. at some times i cherished my career decisions, at other times i regretted them deeply, worst thing is i know it has a lot to do with personality, but the fact that we can't change who we are with a blink of an eye gives me the framework to think that the path i took was ok. as in. things happened for a reason and maybe i'm just not cut out for that kind of work. you have to be aware of the conditions of a job to decide if you are up for it. because being an artist doesn't end with "just draw". i myself had an unrealistic view of the job back then too. and the fact that i could not seperate between personal aspects and "doing a job here" was crucial.
yeah, idk if this is helpful at all. i think the one thing that is super important here is to have a realistic view on the conditions of work you are about to head into, and i know this is mostly very difficult to aquire. because unless you really work in a sector there is often no way to fully grasp the situations you can find yourself in (this applied for me also in the health sector, which made me fall into a depression a year ago, but what do you do after you spent 6 years of studying :') ). doing internships and just trying to get to know a lot of things really helps. and - idk how old you are, but if you're really young: it's ok to switch careers at some point. it's even ok to do so when you are older (trying to end on a positive note here because it feels like i just said a lot of depressing things... like don't get me wrong i like my job, the conditions are just fucked up, and again my personality prevents me from switching again but it's also not that easy in germany, BUT it's a valid thing to do, being versatile is good! just... make sure you don't end up with a job that you absolutely hate because that kills it all)
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softhairedhotch · 11 months
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Do you have any Trans!Aaron headcanons?
yesss lemme give you some <3
when he was younger and first realised he felt like a boy, he definitely pushed away those thoughts because he figured he didn't have time for it with all the things he had to do in the future (care for his mom and brother, working a shitty job, getting into law school) and he assumed no one would understand or care
i feel like he worked a few jobs as a teen so he could save up enough for testosterone/top surgery/bottom surgery if he wanted that too because he wanted to get them all as soon as possible
he used to bind unsafely bc he had no proper way of doing it :( so it took a while for his ribs/chest to feel okay again after that. he sometimes still gets pains because of how long he did it for when he was a teen/young adult
him being trans is the reason he wears a lot of suits, especially tailored ones, because it makes him look and feel a lot more masculine <3 but as he gets older and has been on t for years, he feels a lot more comfortable wearing casual clothing around his coworkers and in general
he's not out to people, only the ones he's closest too. so haley knew, jessica also knew but that's because they grew up together, and so does sean. jack probably knows, but might not understand properly until he's older, and maybe dave knows too. the rest of the team doesn't.
he's insecure about his top surgery scars which is why he's never seen shirtless or always leaves to change elsewhere and alone. i feel like after foyet stabs him a few times in the stomach, he feels a lil bit less insecure about his top surgery scars because it's not the only scars on his front anymore. but now he's insecure about all the scars because of the memories they hold and he hates the idea of people asking questions or acting like they know what he's been through </3
when there's a case that includes transphobia, he gets really really angry about it. just like jj does when the case involves kids. but the team can't figure out why it affects him so much and why it has him overworking them without even meaning to. he hardly sleeps when he's on those cases, too focused on solving it and getting the asshole in jail, and dave or whoever knows has to prompt him to take care of himself or tell him to take a breather :(
he hates having to tell people. his biggest worry is them seeing and treating him differently. that's why he never wants the team to find out; it keeps him awake some nights when his dysphoria is at its worst and his anxiety about others finding out terrifies him
if penelope found out, probably accidently by looking at his file or maybe walking in on him shirtless, she'd be sooo supportive and promise not to tell anyone and make sure that he knows she's always there for him if he needs someone to talk about it <3
he likes to work out and stay in shape because it makes him feel both healthier and appear more masculine and he likes the way it feels
he likes his hair really short. having it too long makes him dysphoric as hell and he feels nauseous. that's why it's so short sometimes bc he can't handle having it past his ears or long enough to reach his eyebrows
i think that's all i have rn <3 thanks for asking!
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icedmetaltea · 6 months
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I'm supposed to go back to my apartment tomorrow... or at least start, it's a 9 hour drive. Considering I can't go 30 mins in a car without a panic attack, I'm guessing I'll have at least 5 a day, and considering even one is traumatizing enough??? I'm gonna fucking die I swear to god
There's still so much to do, so much to pack, so much to clean, dishes to wash, laundry to do... I've barely eaten today and I didn't even notice till now. My stomach hurts but I'm not hungry, couldn't dream of eating rn
I've had this awful choking, lump-in-throat feeling come throughout the day, got really bad this past hour, just been laying in bed trying to not swallow cause whenever I do that makes it worse. I keep coughing, trying to get it out, but nothing helps... I know it's gotta be anxiety but in the back of my brain I'm worried it's asthma, like I've had mild asthma this whole time and just didn't know it and I'm just lucky I haven't died yet
Sure feels like I'll suffocate. People liken it to breathing through a straw and yep I've sure felt that a lot. I also noticed it gets worse when I use perfume so that leads me to think it could be that more...
Nothing is helping today. I've tried staying distracted by playing games but no, ofc it's 70 degrees... is that normal in march?? I don't even know anymore. It's supposed to get to 80 on thursday. My only hope is that the conditioner my parents are lending me will work better than the shitty window fan in literally one room in my apartment.
I don't want to go back there. Realistically I know I have to, I still have a lot of stuff I'd need to throw out before I could move, and if I did move... where?? There's nowhere to go. I could move to an apartment in the state my parents are moving to but they're in the process of moving in and it could take like half a year or longer for them to fully move in, and even then I don't know if they plan to stay there or only go there in a specific season.
My sister isn't that far from the apartment, maybe 20 mins ish, but she works and I don't know her schedule, plus she has kids and will probably not be available most of the time if I have a bad panic attack or there's some kind of emergency
Everything is just so fucked right now. The economy is in shambles, women's rights are getting stripped away more and more every day, we're on the brink of like multiple wars and I'm just trying to get through my last semester and don't know if I can due to all this shit plus my dyscalculia
Even if I do... what then?? I don't have a plan for my future. I would never make it as a therapist. I would never make it as any of my other dream jobs through the years. The only thing I can think of is some computer science job but my eyes cross when trying to do that, I'm the opposite of logic-minded, I really just have no skills or passions or anything to set me apart
And my blood pressure keeps getting high for some reason. I know it's probably the anxiety but what the fuck am I supposed to do about that??? I tried therapy for half a year and it didn't help, might've made it worse bc she kept saying I should just give up and go on disability (which as we know would probably just lead to poverty) I can't get on meds because the ones I've tried make me suicidal (er) and I've tried healthy eating + exercising as much as I can considering I can't do anything more than walking and guess what??? I still have anxiety
I just want to live with my parents forever but even if I did, they're still going to die someday. Everyone I love is going to die and I'm going to be alone and/or abandoned again and again and again. It's be just like danny all over again.
Like genuinely what am I even alive for?? People always say it gets better and sure it does... for a while. Then I end up back at rock bottom. And I always will. Because I'm a failure
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Things I Would say to Stray Kids at a Fansign (Hyungline +Hyunjin)
I don’t think I’ll ever get to go to a stray kids fansign but these are some things I would say to them at this moment. I got too emotional so it’s just Hyungline and hyunjin for now. Warning: I feel like a lot of these are cheesy and emotional but I’m in that kinda mood rn.
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CHAN
Hi Chan, how are you? This is going might be a bit cheesy and I apologize for that. I think you’ve done so well and you are still doing so well. You’re not perfect and you’re never going to be perfect at least not in the way that the voice in your head tells you to be. Maybe I’m overstepping but I want you to know that no one can be perfect and no one can be you either. You are amazing even with the flaws that you see in yourself. We don’t love perfection but we love you and will continue to love all the different aspects of what makes you… you. It’s okay to be imperfect and it’s okay to make mistakes and fail but you don’t have to shoulder everything yourself because no matter what we will be by your side. I know there’s only so much that we can do for you as fans but I just hope that you won’t have a hard time by yourself and you can take care of yourself. Make mistakes, continue to grow, eat well, try and sleep well and I hope that you will be happy and healthy more than anything else. I love you.
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LEE KNOW
Hi Lee Know, how are you? I hope you don’t mind if I immediately say something serious? I have a lot of anxiety and am usually scared of interacting with people but I’m not scared of interacting with you. There’s a kindness and warmth in you that I know people like to joke isn’t there but I see it clearly. When I watch videos of Lee Know talking to stays I just get filled with so much happiness. There’s a shine in your eyes that shows how much you care about stays and how much you care about the members. I find your singing voice super soothing and Limbo is such a good song I really look forward to more from you. Please also keep sending videos of Soonie, Doongie, and Dori. I really love watching your vlogs, I love watching the world through your eyes and thank you for sharing that with Stays. Love you!
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CHANGBIN
Hi Binnie! Is it okay for me to call you Binnie hehe? I laugh the loudest when you make a joke. You really have managed to cheer me up on days that are rough. You’ve brought me so much joy. Sorry I Love You is one of my favorite Stray Kids songs. The words you wrote touch me deeply and I wish we had time to just sit and talk about love and life. I wish I was more like you, more steadfast in beliefs, more about to joke around about myself, more able to be there for others. I often see you taking care of others but I hope you take care of yourself as well. Our Binnie really is the cutest member and honestly don’t worry about abs. We love you just as much with or without abs because you are so much more than just some muscles. Your personality shines so brightly even in comparison to the gleam of your arm muscles. Love you Binnie!
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HYUNJIN
Hi Hyunjin! How have you been lately? I know you’re super busy with a lot of fashion stuff and I hope you’re getting enough rest. I feel like with every fashion event you’ve gone to you have completely taken the spotlight! To be honest in everything you do I feel like you take the spotlight. I know part of that is your natural charisma but part of it is how much effort and hard work you put into it. I love each art piece that you share because I love seeing the world through your artistic eyes. I really look forward to you having a fashion line collab in the future because the jacket you painted in the music video was just so awesome. Every part of you is just so amazing and so lovely. Please take care of yourself~ love you~
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flowering-thought · 2 years
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Ah yes, procrastination! Hehe, I also deal 🤝
Anyways, I shall now detail my painfully awkward stories to you lol:
(I don't really know how to put these in order, so it might come out as a jumbled mess (⁠。⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧)
1.) So, this one comes to mind first as it is unfortunately burned in my brain *cries* So! I used to have a HUGE crush on this guy that I worked with (I was wondering at a subway at the time) and because I had a crush on him, I happened to be shy and somehow kinda clumsy around him. And because of that shyness, I would find it hard to talk to him without stuttering or blushing. Normally, it wouldn't be so bad but he just so happened to also be shy and socially awkward like me. (Usually I always shy and quiet at first, until someone talks me out of my shell. Then I'll gradually open up and become more "extroverted" around them) Anyways, as you could imagine, there was a lot of terrible awkward silences. AND, bc we worked together, I had to deal with it. There was this time specifically where we got a large online order, and it was just the two of us, so I come up there to help him. Because the store we worked at was so small and cramped, we didn't have much room so we had to work side by side. Bc of that, to me, it felt like we were uncomfortablely close, and I kept accidentally bumping into him. Compare that with awkward silence, and I just wanted to disappear all together. He got a better job somewhere else not long after, but I always wondered if he thought I was some weird quiet kid or if he felt the same way I did. Idk
2.) Oh! So a few years ago (around 4) I went down to the lake that was kinda local to where I lived during summer every day for like a week straight. I happened to meet a boy who was two years younger than me (I'm only 21 now so I was a lil bebe then hehe(17)) He came up to talk to me, and was really polite and chatty too so I actually felt really comfortable hanging with him while there. He coincidentally happened to be there almost every day I was there. So it didn't take long for me to open up. Anyways, summer ended (obvi) and I continued about my life as it was. Time Skip! Up until fairly recently, I had completely forgotten about meeting him at all. Haha yes, so I was going grocery shopping when I met him again since he worked there. Only, I had NO IDEA who he was. (I found out he was also a local lol) Anyways, I walked in and he was kinda staring at me. And I felt super uncomfortable bc I felt like I was supposed to know him or something. So I kinda glanced over and ignored him until I had to check out. I didn't recognize him because he apparently hit a major growth spurt. Well I got to check out and he was like "do you really not remember me?" and I awkwardly shook my head no. To which he replied "we met at the lake a few years ago remember?" I felt so bad for not remembering lol. But luckily he was super nice, and all ended well.
3.) (This one isn't a story, but just a compilation of my ✨anxious habits✨)
*I can't tell people no, instead I talk circles around a "maybe" or a "next time"
*I genuinely worry if I make people feel uncomfortable bc I'm always a little awkward
*I can't stand awkward silences, so that leads me to ramble
*Crowded places are draining
*I'm always fidgeting with something when I'm nervous like my hair or necklace
*During the rare times I do actually have guests I'll anxiously spoil them with treats like food, drinks, etc.
*(insert general introvert things here)
That's all I can think of rn anyway. I hope it helps 💖
~🥀
Omg sorry I've been kinda hoarding this ask cause I relate wayyyy too much ʕ•ω•ʔ
🥀 I completely feel you with those anxious habits too 👩‍🦯👩‍🦯. If I feel like I somehow made someone uncomfortable I automatically go to apologize out of habit.. And a really bad habit of picking at my nails to the point it actually kinda hurts- but I've been trying to stop cause it kinda sucks after a while when your finger tips hurt yk?
But yeah social anxiety and just anxiety in general can lead to a lot of awkward conversations or interactions 😔 Sometimes I've been so completely oblivious to people attempting to interact that it leads to awkward silence lol- doesn't help I have a chronic RBF that makes people think I hate them ;-;
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roscgcld · 3 years
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DAYDREAMING!AU || new reality
;request: rn i’m obsessed with your writing & the daydreaming!reader<33 but i also love angst so what would happen if she ended up getting really hurt protecting another student - hope that wasn’t too weird.. again, i love your writing !!
note: ahaha, i am glad that a lot of people enjoy my daydreaming!reader works; she is also one of my babies as well >< and originally i wasn't going to do this cause i had no idea on what to write - but i had managed to layout a rocky plan before i got some bursts of inspiration lol. ended up becoming too loud though ><” I am sorry for that~
pronouns: she/her
daydreaming!reader masterlist
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“There is a chance that she will never wake up from this.”
Shoko gave the others in the room a concerned glance as she glanced up from her tablet, hating how silent it was besides the quiet beeping of the machines around the occupied bed. Laying in the bed was Y/N, a breathing tube carefully inserted into her mouth with the ventilator beside her being the only thing that’s keeping her oxygen levels normal. “The amount of damage she took was quite large. And even though she had managed to regulate quite a strong barrier of Curse Energy around her at all times, it wasn’t enough to brace her for the impact of her being slammed into the build.”
The mission shouldn’t have ended this way - the first and second year students were sent on a mission to deal with a few Finger Bearers that had appeared in the city due to the lack of sorcerers on duty at the time. They were under the care of a few First Grade sorcerers, all hand-picked by Yaga-sensei to ensure the safety of the kids.
However, things rarely go to plan in the jujutsu world.
Yaga-sensei sighs softly as he leans back into his seat, his eyes glancing over at his student that was clearly battling to stay alive. Guilt started to eat him from the inside out, since this was technically his fault. Sure, everyone knows that there is no way that you can go on a mission without enduring some casualties. But the fact is that this was not what he had expected for the outcome to be.. “I am going to kill them myself.”
“G-Gojo-san!” Ijichi hissed out as he glances over at the white haired shaman in the room with wide eyes, the man having been leaning against the wall opposite from the hospital bed with his arms crossed over his chest. His head was tipped forward with an almost too casual expression on his face, yet anyone can tell the barely suppressed anger that lurked underneath. An anger that was only a few moments away from exploding. “You can’t - don’t say things like that!”
“And you expect me to sit back as they failed to save the children?” Gojo asks in a loud voice, effectively squashing whatever confidence Ijichi had built up inside of him. The hand that was resting arm tightened, the veins at the back of his pale hands started to protrude out as Gojo’s anger started to show itself. “I need a good explanation on how their incompetency put our student in this state. 5 First Grades against 3 Special Grade Curses? With 7 talented students by their side and they still can’t handle it? Give me a fucking break.”
“Not everyone can be like you, Satoru.” Yaga-sensei finally mumbles out as he rests his forehead into his hand, fingers pinching at the space between his eyes tiredly. “If anything, it was my fault. I had underestimated the brains of the Finger Bearers, and because of that, all my calculations were wrong. I put retrieving the fingers over numbers. So if you want to find someone to be angry to, the blame is on me.”
The room went quiet after Yaga’s explanation, both Ijichi and Shoko sharing a caution look before casting a glance over at the blindfolded man. After a few tensed moments Gojo pushed himself off the wall and walked out of the hospital room without another word, closing the door behind him quietly; a stark contrast to his usual habit of either slamming the shoji doors too hard, or leaving it open completely.
That out of character move definitely had Shoko sighing in concern. “That idiot...I hope he’s not going to do anything stupid.” She mumbles softly before she turned back to face the young girl laying on the bed, quietly reaching over to brush her fingers through the soft strands that had fallen over Y/N sleeping face. “You better wake up soon, sweetheart...I worry that this might finally push him over the edge.”
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Occupying each seat outside of the small waiting area in the infirmary were the other students; wounds bandaged, yet their anxiety was palpable in the air. They had heard what had happened, yet were sheild by the other sorcerers who had called for back-up. Last they heard of Y/N was a scream before what sounded like a building collasping. “Do you think Y/N-senpai is alright?”
Yuji was the first one who dared to break the silence, glancing up from his clenched hands before him to glance at the others. “I mean...it must have been bad, since she was charted off as soon as back up arrived.” Yuji mutters softly as he tightened his fingers together, trying to stop them from shaking. He felt awful - if only he had spared a few seconds to glance over at his senpai, maybe she wouldn’t be in the condition she’s in now. “It’s not every day you’re rushed straight to Ieiri-sensei’s office...”
“...If there is one idiot who can pull through, it’ll be her,” Maki mumbles out quietly after awhile, looking away from her kouhai to stare down at the wooden floors of the building they were in. “Even if it’s bad, she always pulls through it...there is no reason why she can’t do it this time.” She mutters softly just as a pair of footsteps came towards them, causing everyone to look up at the approaching figure. 
Gojo paused when he spotted the others, the question they wanted to ask was clear as day. And for once, Gojo wished that he was able to reassure them like he always does. For him to be able to put up the act that everything was alright, that everyone will be okay. 
But he knew that it’ll do no justice if he did. “Is she...is she alright?”
The question that fell from Yuta’s mouth was left hanging in the air for a few moments, the sliver of hope they had moments ago slowly dimming with each passing moment. Quietly Gojo slipped his hands into his pockets, his blindfolded eyes downcast; too scared to see their reactions. For once, he wished that he was not the one to break the news to the students. “Y/N-chan...might not recovery from this.”
His words sent shock waves through the students, yet he balled his fists up in his pockets to continue with what he had to say. “She hit her head too hard...and if she was not subconsciously protecting herself with Cursed Energy all the time, the impact would have caused her skull to crack in two on impact. But it still took a lot out of her person, and Shoko said that-”
The sound of a metal chair being thrown backwards echoed across the room, causing Gojo to look up just in time to see Yuta standing up with wide eyes as he hastily tried to calm his friend. “Maki, you need to calm down.” He tried to reason with the girl, who had her backed turn to the group, her hands shoved deep into the pockets of her jacket. “This isn’t your fault-” Yuta tried to reason, only to pause when Maki just silently started to walk away, leaving with no more but a loud slam of the main door that echoed down the hallway once more. 
For a few moments no one said anything else, yet the first one to move was Megumi; who turned to face his sensei. “Can we visit her?” He mumbled out quietly, to which Gojo just glanced over at him with a slightly raised eyebrow. “Usually people talk to someone who is in a coma. Might jolt them awake or give them encouragement to fight harder...I am sure Y/N-senpai will get lonely if no one visited her..”
“Why not?” Gojo said after a few moments of thought, giving his students what he hope was a reassuring smile as he turns a little; nodding down the hallway. “Shoko managed to stabalise her condition. Just make sure to sanatise your hands at the door.”
Quietly the group of students followed behind their silent sensei, keeping close to one another as if they were trying to give each other comfort. The walk to the room seemed too far, the door seeming to grow further and further away from them with each step. It was if it was trying to stop them from seeing the truth; yet they didn’t stop. Yet soon they found themselves standing before the smooth door; the single grey name plaque with her name written in black resting in the silver plaque holder. “Right, here we are.”
After everyone was handed a blob of hand sanitiser and had wiped it onto their skin, the small group entered after a quiet knock to the door. “Y/N-chan, I’ve returned with the others...minus one, that is.” Gojo hummed out in delight as he made his way towards the bed, a silent gesture for the others to do the same. “You know Maki-chan though. Once she finishes beating herself up, she’ll come running back. She always does~”
Quietly the others made their way into the room, eyes scanning over the beeping machines and many wires connected to the sleeping girl. “Y/N...senpai..” Nobara mumbles out in shock, her eyes resting the ventilator; not believing that a girl that was bounding about the college earlier today now needed help to do something as simple as breathing. “No way...there is...”
A warm hand rest on the top of her head, Megumi quietly giving her a form of comfort whilst his wide eyes stared at the bed before him in shock. No one dared take a step forward, like they were standing on the other side of a fragile glass bridge that was moments away from breaking. “Y/N..”
Gojo felt the hole started to eat inside of him as he watches how his students were staring at their fellow classmate in shock. Quietly he settled down in the only seat at the corner of the room, watching from the shadows at how the others will react to seeing her in such a state. The first person to snap out of it was Yuta, who quietly places a hand on Toge’s shoulders before giving it a light squeeze. “Shall we go and say hello?” 
Quietly Yuta made his way towards the bed, only to hesitate one step away from grabbing onto her hand. He stared at the frail hand, a simple IV needle carefully taped on the back of her palm for a few moments; a clear look of uncertainty on his face. Yet he took a deep breath, and with a trembling hand, carefully took Y/N’s cold hand in his. “I...Hi, Y/N...” Yuta mumbles quietly into the hospital room, voice barely heard over the constant beeping of the heart monitor. “Sorry...we took awhile to visit...and sorry that Maki isn’t here...I am sure she’ll drop by when she is ready though.”
The only response he got was the sound of the steady beep of the heart monitor, to which he just tighten his grip ever so slightly on Y/N’s unmoving hand. He could hear the soft giggle that Y/N would let out at his words, and if he felt tears welling up in his eyes as he hears her voice bouncing around inside his head.
“It’s alright, Yuta-san! I am sure you were busy before that. And I know Maki-chan will come after you leave - but you didn’t hear that secret from me~”
The silence of the hospital room made Yuta sick to the stomach, the idea that he might never hear Y/N’s voice again started to really sink in. Her usually warm and familiar touch felt cold and lifeless, causing Yuta to carefully tuck her hand underneath her hospital blanket; as if he was trying to warm it up once more. “I...I am going to go grab her favourite stuffed animal from her room. I am sure she’d love to have something of comfort whilst she’s here...if you’ll excuse me.”
Without another word Yuta just walked out of the room quietly, Yuji being the only one turning to watch his senpai leave with a look of concern. Out of everyone Yuji was definitely the one who seemed to be able to hold himself together the most, so it was no surprise when he was the one that went next. “Yo, Y/N-senpai,” Yuji greeted quietly as he walked towards the hospital bed, easily dodging all the wires and such. After all, this wasn’t his first time visiting someone he cares for in the hospital. “Can you hear me? I hope you can - or not Fushiguro might lecture me for being loud.”
The other sorcerer couldn’t even find his voice whilst Yuji continues on; his voice soft yet soothing as he looks down at his senpai with nothing more but a soft smile. “I know you’re trying your hardest go come back to us, and you’d probably tell us that we’re not the ones to blame. That you’re a big girl now, and things like this happen all the time.” Yuji continues, the only indication to his change of mood was the slight quiver that was hard to hide. Yet Yuji continued on anyway. “I hope you know we miss you...and we’re worried sick that you’re in the state you are now. But I know that you need some time to rest up, and soon you’ll be back on your feet again, right? ‘Cause..b-because that’s how you’ve always been.”
Silence enveloped the room once more, with Yuji just not sure on what else to say to her as he stared at her pale face. The other three in the room sort of just huddled together, all of them unsure of what to say to her. They weren’t the best with emotional words - beside Toge, who usually doesn’t use words at all - so asking them to keep their tone in check whilst referring to their unconscious classmate is a little too much for them.
So after awhile Yuji decided to lead them out of the hospital room, giving Gojo a parting smile before he closes the door behind him. Leaving him alone as he stared at the slumbering figure of his student as he rests his elbows on his parted knees. Quietly he rests his head in his hands, eyes closed as he tried to push back the light migraine that was coming on. He hates that it is his duty to break the news to the others - her parents, her elders. Heck, he has to give a call to Nanami and Utahime to tell them the bad news. 
If it was anything else, he wound be more than excited to blow their phones up. But this? He wishes that the duty was handed to someone else - because he himself doesn’t even believe that this was happening in the first place. 
He wishes that this was all just a terrible nightmare.
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Maki quietly pushed the window open as she climbed in from the roof, the doors of halls of the infirmary long going silent; cicadas chirping away in the night sky. Maki quietly stuffed her hands into the pockets of her hoodie, eyes racking over Y/N’s sleeping form, to the amount of machines that were working by her side to make sure that she’s alive. “Hey, idiot...I’ve arrived.”
Quietly she made her way towards Y/N’s bedside, her eyes clouding over with an unreadable emotion. If she was being honest, she didn’t know how to react right now. On one hand, she was pissed - she is pissed off because she could have done something to help Y/N. Maybe if she was just faster, just a bit more aware, maybe if she was training to try harder. Maybe if she can just try harder-
A loud slap sounded across the room, Maki having pulled her hand out of her pocket to slap across her cheek hard to snap out of the spiraling thoughts. The burning sting on her cheek reminded her to return to reality before she started to trash the room out of anger, something that she and Y/N had been working on for some time now. Y/N would always say, “You should never turn to anger and violence to deal with your issues!”
Maki wonders what her reaction would be if she had saw Maki slapping herself so hard that there was a light handprint on the side of her cheek. “You’re so annoying, you know that?”
With a tired sigh Maki settled down in the seat that Gojo had occupied earlier in the day, keeping her eyes on the steady heart monitor; her eyes following the spike that indicates the faint heartbeat of Y/N. “Who the hell knew that it took an entire building to really get you hurt.” Maki sigh as she tore her eyes away from the screen, looking down at her boots quietly; examining all the scuffs and scratches on marring the smooth leather. “Call me stupid, but I really thought that it’d take more than that. Remember when you had jumped out the window of the 10th floor and left with no more but a bruise? You were crying about it ‘cause you couldn’t wear dresses for about 2 weeks.”
Maki let out a tired laugh at the memory of finding Yuta trying to reassure a crying Y/N when she found the bruise on her knee; Yuta just patting her head with the most amused look on his face whilst she cried her eyes out at the idea that she can’t wear her cute dresses until it cleared up. “Imagine what will happen when you wake up from this? God, that is going to be a pain.”
A soft sigh left Maki’s lips as she glances over at the stuffed sheep that Yuta had brought from her room; along with a few more random stuffed animals that surrounded her head like a halo. This caused her to smile sadly as she rests her head on her shoulder, watching her for a few minutes without saying anything. Maki had always been bad with words and emotions; with all the things she had gone through when she was younger. Wording how she feels and emotions are not Maki’s favourite thing to deal with, since she wants to keep this badass, strong woman front she has on all the time to prove something to her elders.
“You better wake up from this, or not I am going to kick your ass.” Maki mutters after a few moments, getting up with a tired sigh before she casts her another glance at Y/N. Without missing a beat, she reaches over to brush strands of hair away from her face, warm hand resting on her head for a few moments before she places a few parting pats on her head; something she had always done when she needs to leave for a mission or a meeting outside of school. 
“‘Night, brat. Wake up soon, okay?” Maki mutters, and with a final sigh she made her way towards the window she climbed in once more, quietly shutting it behind her after she hauled herself over the railing. It was only in the dead of the night that Maki quietly lets her tears fall, biting her lip hard to stop whatever sounds that were threatening to leave her lips. 
Because at the end of the day she is stubborn, and refuses to believe that this might be her new reality.
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A week had passed since the day that the others found out that Y/N had fallen into a coma of a sorts, and everyone would visit at least once just to see if there is any sight of change. That there might be a sign that she was going to wake up soon. And there were slight changes; a few days after she had been admitted she was allowed to get off the ventilator and rely on oxygen instead. But she was still in bad shape.
Nanami tries to make time to drop by to visit as well, coming over to quietly read pages of the book that he was reading. Whenever Y/N was sick, she would call Nanami over the phone and ask if the man can read to her; something about how she finds comfort in his voice that puts her at ease. And since Ieiri had encouraged them to talk to her more for stimulation, Nanami takes the time to read to her after a long day of work. It brought him some comfort as well, listening to the constant beeping of the heart monitor and the humming of the other machines around her.
Gojo would sometimes drop by as well, only to berate Nanami for his ‘boring’ book choices; and an unconscious Y/N has to endure two adults arguing about book choices and how Gojo’s titles are definitely not appropriate to even bring onto school grounds.
Besides the occasional argument, sometimes Gojo will prop his phone up against a vase of flowers that Yuji brings so that Utahime can FaceTime him; the students from the Kyoto side being able to see and talk to the slumbering Y/N. For the most part, everyone was shocked that she was in the state she was in; having never expected such a bright and talkative person can fall into such a state.
The most distraught one was definitely Todo, who had almost jumped out of his seat and make a full on dash towards Tokyo if it wasn’t for Noritoshi and Mai joining together to restrain the man, along with Principal Gakuganji threating to hold him back from their planned trip to Tokyo the following week that had him calming down.
But barely - the man is still more than ready to just up and run across the country just so he can be closer to his ‘beloved Y/N-chan’.
Every day, without fail, Toge will come into her hospital room with a new accessory to pull her hair back into; carefully brushing her hair out and applying dry shampoo so it wasn’t greasy to the touch. Once he was satisifed he’d carefully style her hair back so it didn’t get in the way of her checkups, taking his time with everything so he gets to spend more time with her. He doesn’t say much, he usually finds that doesn’t whenever he is around her; so he takes his time when he does her hair in hopes that she can feel that he is there for her.
Yuta and Megumi will find time after classes to go and visit her together, telling her about everything that had happened whilst she is asleep. Sometimes Nobara will visit as well, must for the most time she’d come alone in the evening after dinner to just rant to her about everything that she found annoying that happened over the day. Nobara usually stay until Ieiri comes to kick her out, hoping that Maki might come in as well to visit Y/N.
But Maki never does - yet everyone knows that Maki finds the time in her day to go and visit her like everyone else. However, no one dared to ask her how or when she does it. They’ve accepted that it was probably a sensitive subject to her, and that it’s off limits to ask her unless you want her to ignore you for the rest of the day. Gojo had learnt it the hard way when he had teased her, only to be thrown out the window of their classroom by an annoyed Maki.
Even his Infinity is no match for that woman’s wrath.
Days soon led into weeks, with slow but not so encouraging signs of improvement from the young girl. The elders of her clan and her parents had visited the college as soon as they can, and had kept tabs with every single thing that is going on with her. There was no denying the fear of her suddenly relapsing once more, and soon it will become too much for her parents to bear. The idea of keeping Y/N around, knowing that she is in so much pain, just for their selfish want of keeping her alive was a reality they want to avoid. 
The once vibrant and lively campus soon turned gloomy; the hallways of the school quiet without the familiar sound of bunny-themed slippers running across its worn-out flooring. The chime of a familiar giggle was missing in the air, along with a dreamy voice that just never seems to stop; no matter what time of the day it is. There were days where the others forget that Y/N was not there to make dinner for the night, or she wasn’t there when they want to ask her opinion about something. Her room, which once served as a sanctuary for the students who can’t sleep at night, now became too painful to even walk past on certain days.
Yet everyone tried their hardest to go on with their days, knowing that it was what Y/N wanted them to do. If they were to allow their grief to consume them whole, they knew the delicate routine they had rebuilt would crumble before them. And if there is one thing they can do to keep Y/N’s memory alive, is to live their lives to the fullest. To try and cherish each and every day, no matter how painful reality is without her by their side.
They have to try, for her sake.
It wasn’t until a month passed when Yuta had came running into the lunch hall, looking like he had seen a ghost as he tried to catch his breath. “Okkotsu-senpai?” Megumi asks in concern as he looks over at the older man, putting his tray down to try and give his panting senpai a hand. “Are you-” He asked, only to have Yuta put a hand up to stop him as he took a few deep gulps of air.
“A-Awake...Y/N...Y/N is awake.”
Within a few seconds the students were sprinting across campus, none of them believing what Yuta had said until they have see it for themselves. What is usually a 10 minute walk from the lunch hall took about four minutes with them sprinting, possibly annoying half of the cleaners of the school that they were breaking the no running rule. Yet they didn’t stop even at their annoyed outcries, the simple wooden door of the infirmary almost coming off its hinges at how hard Maki had thrown it open.
Maki was the one who pushed the hospital room door open, causing the people in the room to jump in shock. Including Y/N, who had let out a soft squeak of shock; her voice hoarse from not using it for so long. The others blinked in shock at the sight of Y/N’s bright eyes meeting theirs at the doorway, ones that blinked before she gave them the biggest smile she can muster.
“H-Hi.” Y/N mumbles softly, to which Nanami just gave her a rare smile as he gently rubs her back, Gojo smirking softly as he recorded the reactions of the others by the door. He had gotten over the shock a few moments ago. “Don’t strain yourself, Y/N-chan. Remember what Ieiri-sensei said about straining your voice.” The blonde man hummed before he turned his blue eyes over at the shocked students as well. “And that goes to you too. If you all stress her out, I am not against tossing you all out.”
Y/N made a noise and turned to try and reassure the older man, not noticing how the others were staring at her in shock. The first person to move was Maki, whose eyes look suspicious wet as she stormed into the room. “I am going to kill you.” She growled out loudly, to which Y/N jumped before she held her arms out for protection; feeling a shiver of fear go up her spine. Yet before she can make a move to stop her, Maki suddenly wrapped her up in a hug, the arms that Y/N held out to try and pacify her angry classmate freezing from the unnatural reaction from Maki.
Y/N blinks for a few moments before she smiles softly and wraps Maki up in her arms as well, gently patting her head as Maki silently wets her shoulder with her tears. “I know.” Y/N mumbles out softly before her eyes met the others, giving them a soft smile as she gently gestures to the others to enter her room. Soon there was just a huge ball of crying teenagers hugging one another on Y/N’s hospital bed; Gojo and Nanami having moved aside to give them more space for their reunion as they watched on from the other side of the room. “Should we stop them?”
“Nah, we might get murdered if we try.” Gojo said with a hum as he grins over the sound of intelligible crying, looking over at Nanami who had a ghost of a smile on his lips at the sight. “Besides, this is great content. I never had a video of Maki crying before.” Gojo admitted, to which Nanami’s smile dropped as he looked over at him in annoyance. 
“Why am I not surprised at all?”
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© roscgcld — all rights reserved to me, rose, the author and creator of these works. do not repost/translate/claim my work as yours on any platform
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59writes · 3 years
Text
SEVENTEEN- REACTION: THEIR S/O GETS INJURED (PART 2)
(PART ONE)
part two of @honeyylin ‘s request!!! sorry it took so long honey ㅠㅠ
also check out honey’s acc!!! they’ve recently started writing fic so give em a visit!! <3
today’s photo theme is green green green green green green green green green green
(I didn’t proofread this I will when it’s not 5 am lol)
tw: food, injury
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SEOKMIN
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• *insert terrified screaming*
• yikes. this man. this poor fellow.
• he’s so worried about you!!!
• like. you’re fine. it’s not a big deal you just won’t be able to walk without crutches for a while
• but this man PHYSICALLY refuses to go to work
• Jihoon even comes to your apartment to beat Seokmin’s ass gently request he come to work cuz they kind of need him
• but no, because “y/n needs me more!!”
• please you’re fine. you can walk and you work from home already. you’ll live. You’ve been injured before.
• this goes in one ear and out the other!
• he will stay home and baby you and peek in your room every ten minutes like “hey are you ok???? do you need anything???”
• it’s kind of endearing
• the calls you keep getting from Seungcheol and Jihoon are not though because SOMEONE keeps forgetting to “call in sick” to work!!
• it’s just part of the whole shebang. he calms down eventually and gets over the anxiety of you getting even more hurt or struggling and goes back to the others
• but you bet your ass when he comes home at night you’re not going anywhere and he’s gonna baby you until he deems you all better
• also he definitely just likes babying you because he doesn’t declare you better until a week after the doctor does, “just to be safe!!!”
• he loves you very much and if anything we’re to happen to the love of his life he’d like. Evaporate on the spot
• 10/10 man right here
MINGYU
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• ok so we know how clumsy this man is
• he technically knows how to take care of injuries
• also the injury was sort of maybe his fault ):
• he tripped over a damn rock and made you stumble too, falling and scraping up your leg
• and this poor man is apologizing faster than he raps
• you’re not badly hurt, and when the pain wears off you’re laughing
• and Mingyu’s all pouty lol
• and though you assure him that you’re ok and everyone trips up sometimes, he just wants to make it up to you
• he is also one of the other mfs who would make soup. him and Josh r gonna open a soup kitchen s2g
• but he’s also super cheesy and you wake up from a nap and see that Mingyu’s gone out and gotten flowers and made some nice food and made a little mini date in ur apartment
• and he just feels so bad !!!! please help this man
• once you joke that maybe you should get injured more often so you guys have more dates like this he finally really calms down
• but like I said, he’d know how to treat any injury
• maybe not well, and I’m sure this man’s instinctive response is “I will put a bandaid on it and move on with my life” but how focused he is when he is just wiping off dirt from your arm or leg or whatever and making you sit still while he gauzes it up is just really sweet he cares so much
MINGHAO
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• this man does not know anything.
• I mean don’t get me wrong he’s incredibly smart and emotionally intelligent but also. there’s nothing in this man’s brain except for dastardly ideas
• and you nearly breaking your arm is not exactly a dastardly idea
• so he kinda just shuts down
• he wants to help !!! So bad !!!! but he can’t do anything !!!
• like he’s genuinely such a kind dude and always willing to help even if he teases about it and just always there
• and this is the one thing he can’t help with!!!
• so frustrated ):
• so he spends his time with you by lurking with a pout, ready for any request you had
• he definitely looks like a lost puppy ㅠㅠ
• maybe you act a little more helpless than usual so he can feel better about himself. just maybe
• seeing him brighten when you ask him to get the pasta from the top shelf or help with the laundry is completely worth getting hurt for!!
• eventually he cheers up and goes back to his normal and teasing ways
• and once you heal up he’s so glad he can hug you super tight again (:<
SEUNGKWAN
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• Ah, Seungkwan.
• be prepared for lots of passive-aggressive scolding
• I mean when it first happens you can see the panic in this poor man’s eyes
• ok well technically you texted him about it but his reply was violently misspelled and he showed up at your house within 15 minutes
• tbh you should be scolding him because he definitely was speeding to get home that fast
• but he was scolding you!!!
• like wtf you’re already feeling shitty and then Seungkwan comes over and is acting like your mom
• but this man is emotionally mature!!!
• he notices how frustrated and snippy your replies get and calms down, hugging you tightly where you sit on the bathroom counter as he cleans you up
• complains about getting blood on his shirt tho the bastard
• but he definitely hangs out with you for the rest of the day and you catch up and eat ice cream while you lie around on the floor and it’s just. aju nice. (lol)
• he does his best to keep your mind off of any pain or struggling, and we all know this man is a master of distraction so it goes very well
• he’s a very home-y person and you always feel safe with him (:
VERNON
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• his literal response is “well that’s not good”
• you fuckin call him like “hey sol I’m in urgent care kinda like. broke my arm” and he’s just like “Yeah that’s a problem”
• thank you Hansol “Sherlock” Chwe
• he is just. out of his element please this man will just stare at your cast or whatever with wide eyes like “yo you broke your arm” yes Vernon
• he’s kinda just fascinated ngl
• he lets you tell your story with wide eyes, beaming proudly when you said you didn’t cry
• he’s like “yeah that’s my partner (:< so cool and badass”
• he’s just very silly about it and doesn’t treat you any differently
• which is nice because you kinda hate people bringing attention to it cuz it’s annoying as shit already ):<
• and he’s already so helpful and willing to do chores or whatever so you don’t have to worry about carrying things or washing dishes or whatever cuz Vernon’s got it!!!
• plus it’s adorable how literally every night he’s just like “it’s so cool how you have a cast” like it’s the dumbest thing ever but he finds it so entertaining. like not even the fact you got hurt just like “holy shit like. it’s cement they basically cement your arm in place you have cement on your arm y/n you could knock someone out with that”
• he’s a cutie lol
CHAN
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• ok contrary to popular belief I think he would handle it very well!!
• don’t get me wrong this man is PANICKING under the surface but like. he’s so calm about it on the outside??? hello????
• you call him during practice like “hey so I kinda got hurt I’m ok tho, at the doctor rn” and he’s just like “yes ok are you ok?!”
• little dude lol
• and even though you are, in fact, completely fine, he’s gotta worry smh it’s his job!!
• he comes home and listens to the story as he helps you change the bandages with the most gentle hands ))))):
• and being near you definitely helps calm him down
• he’s back to teasing and being goofy in no time
• this man also definitely knows some medical shit idk what makes me think that but he knows how to like. deal with an injury.
• he definitely is very medically aware idk man I feel like he listens to doctor speak cuz it’s cool and is like “oh yeah go ice that you don’t want it cramping up” whenever one of the other guys complains about something minor lol
• he’s very caring ): I love he sm (:
• he can be a little rat but he knows when to stop and be an ally and what an excellent ally he is!!!!!!!!!
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I’m so sorry I’ve never done an after note like this before but seeing all the green and plants makes me think of this damn tweet and I can’t stop laughinh
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“he has pollen allergy” I’m sobbing please
178 notes · View notes
ramzawrites · 3 years
Note
Hey, so I'm having a really rough time rn (dealing with bs from my friend group, we have to take my really old dog to the vet today bc we found blood in her pee and we're scared that she won't make it this time, I'm struggling with my mental health, I'm just kinda goin thru it rn ig) so I would love a comfort fic with the sbi maybe with the reader as their sibling where the reader is the one that always comforts the fam, but hides their emotions until (1/2, very sorry about splitting it)
(2/2) something happens that makes the reader have a full on breakdown? I'll leave the rest to you, it can be a good or bad ending, headcanons or one shots, anything. You can ignore this request if you want/if it makes you uncomfortable. Please don't feel pressured/guilt tripped to write anything from this, your mental health comes first and I'm sure you're already really busy. Reminder to eat something today if you haven't yet and get a drink of water <3
We are family - Reader and SBI!Brothers
GN
Pairings: none
Characters included: Wilbur, Technoblade, Tommy, (mentioned) Niki, (mentioned) Schlatt
Warnings: n/a
Series: a request <3
Summary: Y/N came back from an errand and surprises their brothers with their weird behavior. Trying to put on their usual smile, trying to hide away their real emotions but their brothers know them better than they inititally suspected. They could immediately tell that something must have happened.
Words count: 2060
Authors Note: I’m so sorry this took so long! I hope you and your dog are doing better! 💙 I wish I could give you more than words of encouragement and that I managed to get faster to this request, I apologize Please make sure to take care of yourself, alright? Take time for yourself to deal with the stress and anxiety! Make sure to stay hydrated and remember to eat! Even if it’s just something small!
Once again I apologize for the long wait, I felt really bad already and then I kinda put it off because I felt bad.
adhd hit hard again and haven’t checked for typos yet, but will get on it as soon as I can o7
On another note if you want to read another comfort fic; I have a small series called “A Painful Reminder” which is more angsty but the 2nd part is more about the comfort, if that is something for you 
Living in the SMP was chaotic, turbulent and at times downright painful.
Most people tended to gravitate to one cause or other people to deal with this. Holding on to something so they don’t get pulled under. Get buried beneath the chaos and the violence.
So having people like Y/N around was like a godsend. They were one of the few people that seemed to be able to withstand the constant waves of misfortune and stand strong. Be the rock to hold onto when everything got too overwhelming.
Wilbur, Technoblade and Tommy loved their sibling for it.
After Wilbur and Tommy got exiled with Y/N out of L’Manberg, they were there and cheered both of their siblings up. Immediately making plans on how to set up a safe home and collecting ideas on how to get back. They were the one who managed to get a message out to Technoblade and asked him to visit them. Maybe help them.
Wilbur often jokingly said that Y/N was the glue that held the family together, to which they would always reply with the warmest of smiles “I’m glad.”
And what he said was true. Whenever the family fell on hard times and they began to drift apart it was Y/N who pulled all of them back. Pulling them back to reality and giving solutions for their problems if needed.
Sitting down with Wilbur when things got to much. Listening to his thoughts and worries, letting his emotion run freely without judgement. While they looked worried for him, their comforting smile never faltered. Offering him solutions to problems if he wanted it, otherwise they gave him the chance to just air his own thoughts out. To be angry with him. Sad with him.
Working with Tommy on his own projects. Listening to his ideas and giving him a different perspective that could improve some things but also respecting it when Tommy wanted to do this his way. And while he liked to brag and pretend that some things didn’t hit him that hard, they were still patiently listening to him as he spoke about his own pain in a more roundabout way. Telling him that he was not alone and making him feel heard.
Talking to Technoblade whenever the voices got too loud or out of hand again. He would just walk over to them and nudge them away, asking them to talk about something, no matter what. He just needed to hear their voice and be able to concentrate on it. Tune out the garbled voices in his head with a familiar sound that calmed him down no matter what. Leaning against them, slowly falling asleep as Y/N told all about how they were happily working on their own farm and what shenanigans they got up to.
Y/N really was like the warm sun on a cold day. Warming them up and protecting them.
Yes, Y/N was strong. So strong that even Technoblade considered them stronger than him. Maybe not physically but mentally and emotionally.
A clanging of metal rung through the cave. Techno was training with Wilbur while Tommy was just watching. Cheering on Techno.
It wasn’t an unusual situation and something Y/N expected to see as they made their way down the staircase. Wilbur in full iron armor and weapon while Techno just fought back with his own iron sword.
“Hey, Y/N! Welcome back!” Wilbur breathed out. Sweat running down the side of his face as he stopped attacking his brother.
The three men looked happily over to their sibling who slowly walked towards them but soon their expressions fell. Something was off about Y/N and it confused the three.
Their smile was as always plastered on their face but it looked strained. Their eyes wide open, trying to look sincere and loving but the glassy look of them gave off a different picture.
“Y/N? You okay?” Tommy asked as he stood up from the ground. Taking a step closer to them which made them in return stop in their tracks.
Y/N was hugging themself, shakily opening up their mouth to answer but nothing came out. It was then when Techno got very aware of how they were shaking in general.
This all seemed so wrong. This shouldn’t be possible. It just didn’t seem to register fully inside their minds.
Wilbur made sure to get rid off his sword and armor as fast as he could, walking over to his sibling, trying to get a better look at them but they just avoided his gaze.
Staring at the ground, slowly shaking their head “It’s- It’s fine. I’m fine.”
“You aren’t. You really aren’t. What happened? Did they find you?” Techno asked, his voice full with worry. A bit of anger hidden as well.
Y/N had their own little farm in order to support Pogtopia. The potatoes from Techno were great but variety is important after all. Though they also had an abundance of wheat they usually tried to smuggle into Manberg for Niki. Trying to help her out as much as possible with her taxes and work.
This time Y/N nodded “They did… It’s fine though. I’m fine. I’m not hurt. It’s all good.”
Wilbur’s frown deepened “Usually when people have to be so adamant about being okay something isn’t alright.”
Tommy nodded, supporting his statement only to whisper to himself “Adamant? What does-“
But Wilbur continued “We are your family, talk to us.”
Y/N licked their chapped lips “I’m-“
The tears finally escaped their eyes and begun streaming down their face. Sobbing they fell down on the ground. Wilbur immediately followed suit, laying his arm around them and pulling them against his chest. His hand flew up to their head and begun going through their hair, trying to calm them down. Humming a soft tune from their childhood.
It was the first time in their lives they saw Y/N break down like that and it was quite frankly shocking.
Unsure what to do with himself Tommy squatted down “Um, uh, what- what happened?”
Techno was still gripping the iron sword in his hand. Pacing up and down. Manberg found them? What the hell did they do to make Y/N break down like that? His own sibling! Whatever it was he would make sure to pay it back a thousand times over.
“Tommy can you grab them some water?” Wilbur laid his chin on top of Y/N’s head, rubbing circles now on their back.
He didn’t even hesitate, jumping up to run towards one of the chests with food items that Y/N had always ready for them. Grabbing a water bottle and running back over. Happy that he could do something else besides staring.
Tommy then pushed the bottle towards Y/N who gratefully took it, putting some space between them and Wilbur as they drank some of the cold liquid which helped them to calm down.
“You ready to tell us what happened?” Techno stopped pacing around. His gaze purely trained on his crying sibling. Anger still rising in him just like the voices.
Screaming things like “Technosib! How dare they hurt them! Protect them! I love Y/N so much! Why would anyone hurt Y/N! They always help us! Let’s help them for a change! Technosib! Let’s go out and fight them! Yeah! Blood for the Blood God and Y/N!”
Y/N’s voice was still wavering and a bit scratchy from their sobbing as they begun speaking “Hey, hey! Techno don’t concentrate on the voices. Listen to me. It’s all good.”
This somehow made Techno angry. He threw the sword away and finally knelt down next to them as well so his face was on the same eye level as theirs “Stop. Please. Stop thinking about us for one second. Stop trying to not make us uncomfortable or worried! Tell us what happened! Please.”
He was basically begging at the last part. All his worry packed into it.
“Yeah, honestly you trying to make sure everything is okay for us makes us even more worried.” It surprised the others a bit that this came from Tommy but he was correct.
Tears fell down their face again “I- I was just delivering more wheat to Niki and someone must have followed me. They followed me back to my farm and- and- they burned my fields down. There were explosions. I- it was just my farm. I did not harm. Just, why does it always have to end like this. Why do all the good things always end like this. Why can’t this place let something be. There is always something.”
The farm was so important to Y/N. It was their little project they put so much sweat, love and work into. It was their home away from home. A place to retreat and enjoy some peace. This obviously was devastating. It was their one thing they had for themself. The one thing that wasn’t there for anyone else but them.
It was also clear that this seemed to be the straw that broke the camel’s back and it broke the three a bit that they only now seemed to notice this. That it took that long and their whole farm being destroyed for the realize this was heartbreaking.
“Who?” Techno urged but Y/N shook their head.
“I don’t know. Everything went so fast and I tried to save as much as I could but- but it’s all gone. It’s all gone.” Their voice jumped up an octave at the end, burying their face against Wilbur’s shoulder again. Silently sobbing.
It should have been impossible but Wilbur’s frown deepened and his expression turned more grim “Don’t worry. We will get back at them. We will get our revenge. They will see firsthand what they did to you, I promise.”
Shocked Y/N looked up, their red and puffy eyes wide open “Wil, that’s not what I- no revenge. There is already too much misery going around I just want this to stop. I just want all of us being able to live in peace.”
Wilbur should have known that Y/N was too good natured for that but he couldn’t help himself. He was just so angry. Angry at Schlatt and Manberg. That they went for him was one thing but to go out of their way to treat Y/N like this? Let’s just say he put it on the list in bold letters with reasonings on why he will get back at the Manberg faction.
“Listen Y/N.” Techno begun, his voice now calm again “Stop it. Just for once think about yourself. Stop thinking about others for once. You are also worthy of the same care you give us. Let us at least help rebuild your farm. You always help us with our projects, let us help you with yours.”
Tommy seemed to lit up at that “That sounds like a good idea! We could build towers around your new farm and make sure no one gets in! We could put down traps and all!”
He really wasn’t sure how to react but that was at least something he could do for them. As the past General’s right hand man, this should be something he can do. If he couldn’t protect his sibling how could he ever hope to get L’Manberg back.
Wilbur seemed to think about it for a bit but agreed “Yeah, how does that sound?” Though the dark glint in his eyes stayed. The cogs in head still running off with his own thoughts.
“You guys would? Since when can you guys build?” a dry laugh escaped them but it was a laugh nonetheless.
Both Tommy and Wilbur looked almost appalled at that claim while Techno just shrugged and nodded. Just looking around Pogtopia was more functioning than good looking after all. Y/N tried to pretty it up a bit but usually something always happened around here.
“Also Y/N, please talk to us more. Don’t bottle everything up. Please. We worry a lot about you and we love you. You always do so much for us, let us do the same.” Wilbur pushed Y/N a bit off of him and looked them deep into their eyes, hoping that this would really hammer in that this was a genuine plea.
As a respone Y/N wiped the tears off their face “I understand. I’ll try to remember that.”
“Don’t try just do it.”
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rattyoakenbitch · 4 years
Text
youtubers: “don’t touch her” ₊˚ ⸝  corpse husband x reader
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❝i don't wanna think about, think about you. drink up, drink up i'm so fucked up, all i want is you.❞
gif credit: n/a song: lykke li - sex money feelings die
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥
pairings: corpse husband x reader
warnings: angst, cursing, drinking, smoking, violent language, and minor mentions of anxiety.
summary: i can’t make summaries rn hhh just read it (:
“Sean, there is no way in hell I’m going!”
“Oh, come on, Y/N. It’ll be fun!”
“That’s what you always say!”
“Ugh, you and Corpse are so stubborn. At least I was able to convince him to show up! You know what you need? To get out of the house more often and come hang with us.”
“Uh huh, yeah, y’all have fun, I got some stuff to finish.”
“Yeah? Like what? Your ten hour nap?”
“HEY! Excuse me -”
“7PM, [club address], you’re showing up.”
“Sean - !”
With that, Sean hung up. You let out an exasperated huff, crossing your arms and pouting like a toddler who was just denied a toy. You were invited, or more accurrately forced to celebrate whatever the hell Sean and his friends achieved. With lives like theirs, it seemed like there was always something to celebrate. 
You, on the other hand.. Well, you were just little old you. You met Sean by mere chance. It’s a very long story, but you shared some things in common, like your love for video games. However, that was about the only thing you could relate to with Sean and his little friend circle. You were more passionate about writing, as well as reading short horror stories. 
Now, that’s where you clicked with Corpse Husband. 
He was an underrated YouTuber, whose main uploads were narration videos on creepypastas and horror stories. That’s until he blew up with his Among Us gameplays, collaborating with big names like PewDiePie, Jacksepticeye, and CrankGamePlays (EEF!!!).
You met over an Among Us stream with said YouTubers and immediately hit it off. You shared a dark sense of humor, love for horror, and music. You knew of Corpse before, but only then did you discover that he produced music, which you absolutely enjoyed (and blasted in your house for days on end).
When you found out you lived not even twenty minutes away from each other, you’d occasionally meet up, mostly at his house considering he only went out once in a blue moon. You’d sometimes even spend the night at his place, staying up late, gazing up at the stars, getting deep into conversation and opening up about things you never blurted out to people. But when you were with Corpse, everything just came naturally. You felt safe with him, and hopefully, he felt the same. 
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Night approached, the clock striking 5PM. You figured you’d get ready since Sean was dead set on you coming to the party. You showered, did a minimalist glossy makeup look, and chose an outfit, which consisted of a half neon green and black skirt that stopped mid thigh, and an oversized distressed band tee which you tucked into your belt. You slipped on a pair of ripped, striped thigh-highs with mismatched colors, (white stripes on one and neon blue on the other), and your platform boots that made you look like a Bratz Doll. You didn’t bother with your tangled hair. You teased it with a brush but didn’t put any effort into styling it, since it’d get messy anyways. To finish your look, you clipped on a choker and dangled a couple of layered chains around your neck.
Corpse would tease you, saying you had a “dog collar”, but you knew he secretly liked it.
All dolled up and ready to go, you hopped into your car and followed the GPS to the address Sean sent you. Drunk couples stumbled out of the club, dates headed inside, and old wasted guys were thrown out. Oh boy, you were not ready for this.
You were the anxious, anti social type. Not because it was edgy or cool, but you simply didn’t know how to handle social situations. However, it comforted you to know Corpse would be there by your side so you didn’t need to chat and flirt with strangers. 
It’s not like you wanted to meet anybody new, anyways. Though nobody was aware of it, you had feelings for Corpse. Cliche, right? You knew you shouldn’t have, but you developed feelings for him. It made you feel strange and weird, considering you haven’t caught feelings in a while.
You came up with the bright idea of slowly drifting away from Corpse to maybe help de-escalate these feelings, but you were going to run into him at the club, so what the heck.
You headed inside, your eyes scanning the crowd and pushing through, searching for your friend group. You spent a couple minutes cluelessly looking around the club, but to no avail. Then, it was as if a light bulb clicked on over your head; you never thought to phone Sean.
“Ugh, I’m so stupid.” You reached into your purse to get ahold of your phone when a pair of strong, manly hands and cold metal which you assumed to be rings wrapped around your shoulders, gripping you tightly. 
“Boo!” 
You felt your heart stop and ran out of the man’s grasp, spinning around to look at who it was.
“Oh, did I scare you?” 
The man’s deep, monotone voice rumbled above the sound of the music and shouts. Then you recognized that unique and distinctive voice. 
“Corpse!! What the hell?”
His nose and jaw was covered by a black mask, with a print that looked like Frank from Donnie Darko, which was also Corpse’s signature look, seen in his channel art. 
Despite Corpse being a faceless YouTuber, only very few people have seen his face, including you and Glam&Gore who he featured in his narration videos. You thought he was very handsome, his baritone voice matching his appearance. You had to admit, you were a little disappointed he chose to wear a mask. You loved seeing his facial expressions, especially his precious smile that would light up the room when he’d let out little fits of laughter. But you got over it and respected the fact that he wanted to remain anonymous.
“You dickhead,” you scoffed, smacking Corpse lightly on the shoulder. Corpse towered over you, looking admittedly both intimidating and seductive. If you were a stranger, you’d probably be running off, but you weren’t scared of Corpse. He was a big softie and a teddy bear.
Corpse chuckled lowly, slinging his arm over your shoulder and leading you to Sean’s group. He was protective like that, even if you were just friends. Now you could see why Sean, at one point, speculated that you and Corpse had a thing going on. 
“So, Sean forced you to tag along, too?”
“Pfft, yeah, that’s Sean for you.”
“Hey, there’s my favorite couple,” Sean joked, patting your shoulder. You rolled your eyes at his drunk antics.
“Shut up, don’t make me choke you like I hate you,” you mocked in return, eliciting a fit of laughter from the group. 
“Remind me to never hang out with you losers again,” Corpse mumbled sarcastically under his breath.
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The night went by in a flash. Sean, Thomas, Felix, and everyone else was blackout drunk. Luckily, Mark was there to assist them. Since Mark couldn’t drink, he would be the designated driver that night. Corpse hung out by himself, sometimes getting approached by women who he politely turned down.
You, on the other hand, were downing alcohol like your life depended on it. For you, it would take more than the average number of drinks for you to get wasted.
“Y/N, don’t you think you should slow down?” Corpse questioned cautiously, resting a hand on the small of your back.
“Does it really look like I’m thinking right now?” you drunkenly slurred, following with a giggle. You waved to the bartender, calling for another shot, which he slid over to you, but not without hesitating after noticing your state. You pushed Corpse off of you, probably more harshly than you intended, and took the shot. 
“Okay, Y/N, fuck this, I’m taking you to my place. We can’t stay here and you certainly can’t drive back home when you’re drunk,” Corpse scowled, stepping closer to you. Again, you shoved him back.
“No.. No..” You sighed, holding your pounding head in your hand. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what? Y/N, you’re drunk -”
“I’m not letting you of all people take me.”
Corpse blinked. “What does that mean?” He knew you were drunk, of course, and you were probably just blurting nonsense.
All of a sudden, tears escaped your eyes, racing down your blushy cheeks.
“No.. I’m so sorry. It’s my fault.” You began to shake and tremble as tears started to uncontrollably spill down your face. Corpse didn’t waste another second to take you in his arms, hushing you. “Your hugs are so warm.. I hate it. I hate feeling this way. It’s all my fault.”
“What did you do, sweetheart? You can tell me.”
Your heart ached when you heard his pet name for you.
“I think I may like you more than you like me.. I-I didn’t mean to! Please don’t leave me. You’re all I have,” you sobbed into his white tee, clinging onto him. “I love you so fucking much, it hurts. I shouldn’t have!”
Corpse stopped for a moment, processing your words.
You.. felt the same?
Corpse had to tell you. You were drunk, but he needed you to know. 
“Y/N, I -”
Suddenly, you had a moment of clarity. Realizing how close you were to Corpse, you backed away, wiping away the mascara tears under your eyes.
“I - I think I had too much to drink.. I just need a smoke..” 
Without giving Corpse the chance to protest, you ran off into the crowd, struggling your way through. 
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Corpse began to get worried when you didn’t come back. He waited impatiently on the barstool where you left him, anxiously playing with his rings.
He was just about to get up and look for you, when he caught a glimpse of you stumbling out the exit with another man who guided you, gripping your arm tightly.
Corpse fumed, his face going red and heartbeat speeding up. He went after you, knowing damn well you didn’t know this man. 
The man took you to his car, placing you atop the trunk, your legs dangling over the edge. He stepped in between your legs, caressing your face. Everything was a blur. If your mind was clear, you wouldn’t be stupid enough to trust this random guy, who was probably ten years older than you. 
“You’re too pretty to be crying,” he whispered, leaning in closer to your face, until a yell stopped him from proceeding any further.
“Hey, asshole, she’s drunk! Don’t you fucking touch her!”
“C-Corpse?” You hiccuped, hopping off the trunk to get a look at the approaching figure. It was indeed Corpse. His eyebrows were pressed together angrily at the sight.
“You know this dude?” the man said loudly and smugly, just to get a reaction from Corpse. “Relax, my man, I’m just tryna take this pretty girl home.”
“Well this pretty girl happens to be mine, and I won’t let you take advantage of her,” Corpse growled. 
You stood by the stranger, clinging to him as you watched Corpse’s face twist into an expression of heartbreak when you didn’t budge. He then noticed the bruises around your arms and wrist, supposedly from the man’s strong grip. He was unbelievably furious. 
“Ha, doesn’t look like she’s your girl anymore.” The man’s lips twisted upwards into a devilish smirk, only pissing Corpse off some more. Oh boy, was he ready to snap. He reached into his pocket, when..
“Wait,” you managed to slur out, breaking up the argument. You reached out towards Corpse like a child. His facial expression immediately softened. He gave you a loving smile and immediately took you into his arms, holding you protectively. 
“Now, I suggest you get in your car and never come back,” Corpse threatened.
“Oh, yeah? Or what? I’ll kill you and take your girl, you motherfucker!”
Without hesitation, Corpse took out his switchblade, looking the man in his eyes.
“Say that again?”
You watched as the stranger’s whole tough act fell apart. Without another word, he ran to the driver’s side of his car, fumbling with his keys. 
“Yeah, that’s right,” Corpse mumbled, not taking his eyes off the man until he reached his own car. You held his hand the whole way, processing what had just happened. Corpse noticed your distant expression. You got into his car, shutting the door and slumping back into your seat. He tore off his mask, taking in deep breaths to calm himself. Then he looked back to you. 
“Princess?”
You looked to Corpse, your eyes teary. “Hey, Corpse.” You didn’t seem to be as drunk, your mind a lot clearer after the incident. “D-Did you mean anything you said back there? About the..”
“About you being my girl?” 
Corpse took your hand in his, squeezing it comfortingly. He leaned forward and cupped your face with his free hand. “Absolutely.” 
With that, you leaned towards him, hesitantly pressing your lips to his. Your lips tasted of alcohol, but Corpse didn’t care. He was admittedly taken back, his breath hitching, but he released the tension from his body and kissed you back, pulling you over to the driver’s seat atop him. There wasn’t much space, forcing you to press closer to Corpse, deepening the kiss. 
Still being a bit drunk, you were clumsy and kind of ‘out of it’. 
“I’d hold onto something if I were you,” Corpse mumbled, breaking the kiss momentarily to guide your hands to grip his shoulders. But you were impatient and reconnected your lips with his, no doubt causing him to blush even more than he already was.
You couldn’t help yourself and giggled into the kiss, causing Corpse to chuckle along with you, departing from the kiss again and resting his forehead against yours.
“I’m sorry, you’re just so fucking adorable when you giggle.” 
You hummed in response, offering Corpse an innocent grin as you pecked all over his face. 
“I’m so glad you’re mine.”
859 notes · View notes
agirldying · 2 years
Note
TW suicidal ideations/ideas and urges.
I’m feeling kinda suicidal rn and everyone’s home so I can’t do anything and idk where I’d go to do something. My plan is to drown in a bathtub which I hear so far is least painful, so I have like 8 hours to die which I think is enough when everyone’s at work and I’ll stay home, I’ll do it early. and when I- if I kill myself what happens after we die? When some people say everything goes black and there is no spiritual realm? I cant imagine that. I guess it’s like being asleep without dreaming because the brains dead. Because we al essentially know how that “feels” which is nothingness. That would be nice honestly no emotions, no feelings, no worries, no suicidal feelings, no more flashbacks, no nightmares or dreams at all, no more fear or anxiety or drama or stalking. I won’t be lonely because I’ll be sleeping. I won’t know I exist.
You inspired me to write again. Thank you a million times over! For just being here even though we never met. Im grateful for you. I’m from CT USA and looking into laws in my area to see what I’m legally allowed to do with posting my book link online for everyone to freely read, and photos of my abuser (maybe eyes blurred) on separate posts? Idk if you have input it’s ok if not. My expose/book isn’t even finished but I’ll post what I have I was thinking about posting a photo of my rapist with the eyes blurred out and first name only on my IG, my FB, tumblr, etc. my accounts are not set to delete or be given to anyone after I die which is what I want. And hopefully my posts won’t be banned or deleted.
Hi anon,
Thank you for reaching out. I want to share with you this post of mine, as I wholeheartedly want to say the same exact things to you. You matter, I would love for you to stick around as much as you might be hurting right now, and I'm sure there are other unsuspecting people in your life that love being able to see you every day. Please consider that while death is a cessation of all things bad, it is a cessation of all things good. You still deserve the good things that life offers and I really want that for you. It may take a while to access or enjoy all the good things in life, but I promise it's worth sticking around for. I just really want you to be able to enjoy things, and you won't be able to if you're not around for them.
I also want to just add that I've had someone ask me not to end my life post-publishing, since I've felt like my trauma has dictated and defined my life. This person brought up a good point, which was, wouldn't it be awesome to stay and watch all the justice that will come from the hard work you've done?
Please let me know if there's anything else I can do to help.
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ackerfics · 3 years
Note
Hiiii is it okay to request something? I just really love your fics 🥺 I saw that you did song fics, so I was thinking Still Into You by Paramore mixed with Thinking of You by Katy Perry since I legit couldn’t get those out of my head. Also I’m having Mikasa brainrot rn, so maybe a fic about exes getting back together? Where reader is like already in a new relationship with Historia, but they still love Mikasa, and the pining is mutual. Thank you so much 🥺
we sang along to the start of forever  — mikasa ackerman
— mikasa ackerman x female reader (modern au)
— warnings: angst but it transitioned into fluff in the end so we’re fine :)))
— summary: you still love each other and like puzzle pieces, the two of you thought about trying out the relationship thing again.
— word count: 4.8k
— author’s notes: i’m so sorry this took so long, we have so many backlogs  but i thought that writing would be a great thing to unwind so here it is !! i also made the reader a girl because as soon i started writing, mikasa with a girlfriend just keeps popping in my brain and i can’t help it sjjkjksjs and thank you so much for requesting !!
reblogs are greatly appreciated !!
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< you said move on, where do i go
“Hey, there you are.”
A melodic whisper got you out of your daze from looking at your laptop screen. Exams are around the corner and your professors thought that it was the perfect time to dump more work for you. Tomorrow, you have a deadline coming up for a 2k-word essay about a topic that you could care less about, it wasn’t even under your major. Yet here you are, in one of the study areas of your university, trying to squeeze your brain just so you could reach the word count without caring for the outcome of your essay. But it seems like the gods graced your prayers because a small figure with golden blonde hair appeared in front of you, her blue eyes shining under the lights of the study area.
You started dating Historia Reiss not too long ago, it was probably ranging for three months at most. It was quite rocky at first, with you being out of a long-term relationship and Historia balancing out her time between extracurriculars and academics. The long-term relationship that got you all wound up was with a close friend back in high school and it sucked because you were such a good pair together — maybe fate wasn’t by your side that time. The two of you were immature and young but your time together was golden, having known each other way before asking one another out. You promised each other you’d move on and clearly, you did, your eyes finding your current girlfriend sitting in the neighboring study desk, taking out her stationery and color-coordinated notes.
Historia was a sweet person, always patient and caring when it comes to you. You met during a lecture that you two happened to share. She forgot her Apple pencil and luckily, you still had yours in your bag, lending the gadget to the blonde since you already have your laptop perched in front of you. With small smiles, the two of you gradually became friends, sitting next to each other during that lecture. Those small moments grew and later became study meet-ups in cafés or hanging out in one of the university’s libraries. The best thing that connected you two was your personalities, it matched so well that people sometimes thought you knew each other way longer before college. When you noticed Historia showing some signs that she likes you more than a friend, you couldn’t quite believe it at first. It was Historia being so understanding of you that made you say yes to her dates.
And now, here you are.
“Yup, you found me,” you told her, stretching your arms above your head before smiling at your girlfriend.
“Is that essay for Mr. Smith’s class?” Historia asked, leaning over to your side to get a glimpse of your screen. She patted your shoulder at the number of words you wrote. “Wow, you already got past the 1k mark. That’s amazing! Don’t forget to take breaks, though.”
“Of course, Tori,” you smiled. “You, too. I know your exams start four days from now. How is that holding up?”
Historia opened her readings, sighing at the thought of the dreaded season of the student body. “I don’t know if I can answer anything that well. I mean, we’ve been having study dates every day but I get so nervous just thinking about the exams. I know I’m going to be prepared but my anxiety said ‘no’.” She buried her hands through her hair, eyes softening when your face started showing how worried you are for her. “I’ll just think that this will be over a week from now.” Historia reached a hand out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind your ear. “Hey, why don’t we go to that restaurant just outside of uni for dinner?”
You took her hand in yours, squeezing it affectionately. “I think that’s perfect.”
The two of you proceeded to work on your separate tasks until you both agreed that it’s time for a good dinner. Historia helped you tidy your things up, occasionally smiling softly at you when you yawn. You bid goodbye to some of the students in the study area you know and the two of you went out of the room with joined hands. It was a nice walk around the university, the golden glow of the Sun bathing everything in orange, and making you relax despite the many backlogs still on your to-do list. That was until you saw a familiar figure going out of one of the many buildings of the Business Department. The blonde beside you even recognized the young woman hiding her face behind her scarf, blue eyes darting to you with a worried air.
It also happened that Mikasa Ackerman looked up from adjusting her scarf, her stormy gray eyes meeting with yours by chance.
Her eyes slightly widened at the sight of you, her gaze then dropping to your hands still joined with Historia’s before pursing her lips. Looking up to tangle your eyes again, she rose her hand in a little wave. You reciprocated the gesture weakly, never leaving your stare off her retreating form. You noticed that her shoulders became tense after that little encounter, fists enclosing the straps of her backpack and steps hurrying to get to her apartment that was just a walking distance from the university.
You felt a light squeeze coming from the girl beside you, knocking you out of your reverie.
“Let’s go?” Historia asked, eyes knowingly roaming your face.
“Mm-hmm,” you only hummed, following your girlfriend out of the campus.
You thought there wasn’t anything left but why were you still stuck in a limbo that you couldn’t get out of when you stared into those gray hues haunting your dreams?
< recount the night that i first met your mother
Mikasa had her life figured out. 
Everything was perfect. She has the most amazing people she can call her friends. She has the most supportive parents (and brother, but he can be a little shit sometimes but that’s beside the point). She has the perfect grades that can maintain her standing in the university, earning her great credits from various professors on the campus. She has scored a good apartment with her best friend, Sasha, all equipped with the best rooms and views that she can pay for a reasonable price. She is still a member of the university’s track and field long-distance running team, a regular and a manager at the same time. She also had the most beautiful girl as her lover and confidante, someone she could be herself with (not that her closest friends and brother didn’t see her real personality but being with her lover was a different kind of bliss compared to hanging out with her friends).
Well, had a girlfriend.
Ever since meeting you again earlier that night, suddenly Mikasa’s schedule for the night seems to blur.
It was her turn to cook for dinner but she couldn’t do anything properly. First, she managed to burn her sauteed vegetables, something that she had never done before knowing that this is her favorite go-to dish. Second, she boiled the pasta too long and now they’re too soggy. She nearly threw the pot down the sink but she didn’t want their neighbors to call the cops to their place, she just didn’t want to have a repeat of the first time that happened. (The first time their neighbors called the cops because of them was all Sasha’s fault, it appeared to the brown-haired girl that Mikasa’s cooking is one of the best in the world that she screamed bloody murder in the middle of the night.) Now, the gray-eyed girl had no choice but to start from scratch with the pasta, it was a good thing it was only the pasta though. 
The front door of their apartment opened with a bang while Mikasa tried to concentrate this time. Without looking up, she can see a brown-headed blur dashing towards the kitchen. “Stop right there, Sasha,” she said while stirring the alfredo sauce in the pan. “If you reach for the chicken one more time, I’m going to skin you alive. I don’t have the energy to hold your hungry ass back right now.”
Sasha backed away at the look of her roommate who was ready to commit violence if she steps out of line. “Whoa, who pissed at your day?”
Mikasa blinked, realizing that she might have been unreasonable with her remark. Of course, she wasn’t the only tired one in their apartment right now. Sasha was also struggling with academics and extracurriculars, not to mention, her love life is perfectly stable despite being in a relationship for a year. Not that Mikasa felt slightly jealous but she did everything she could to save their relationship but it still ended on a consensual note. The black-haired girl relaxed her tense posture, sighing deeply to expel the negativity accumulating her mind at the moment (Sasha called them dark forces after Mikasa told her about it, it took everything not to leave the room when the words came out of her friend’s mouth). Turning back on her sauce, Mikasa stated, “I’m sorry, I’m just stressed. You know, with the exams coming up and my track team entering this meet at the end of the month for official records. It’s just,” she sighed, “too much right now.”
“Aw, Mikasa,” Sasha empathized, going around the countertop to wrap her arms around Mikasa. She placed her head against her friend’s, petting the latter’s hair until they became a mess on her head. “I know just the thing to make us feel better. Let’s watch some of those anime movies that Armin recommended while eating dinner. Or anything that you want to watch if you don���t feel like watching anime right now.”
Mikasa smiled a little, resting her head on top of Sasha’s and relishing the comfort her friend gave her. “Thanks, I appreciate it, Sash.”
The moment she shared with Sasha reminded her of when you two were in high school. At that time, Mikasa was one of the star athletes that belonged to the track team. After the rigorous training their coach gave them, Mikasa’s knee started to hurt. This was dismissed by the head coach, saying that this wasn’t serious at all. You witnessed it when she ran more laps than what was written in her training regime to the point that her knee gave out. It was a good thing that her knee only acquired a sprain and a good rest from physical activities for some time will heal it gradually. Mikasa never had anything against it because getting some time off from her club meant that she could spend her free time with you. It was spent staying on her family’s couch, watching movies to pass the time while making small talk about her friends. The reminiscing continued until Sasha helped her prepare the living room for their movie night. She just couldn’t help but associate every little thing with you. You were a great part of her life since middle school.
She missed everything about you.
While the movie played out, her mind went to a time when it was time to introduce Mikasa as your girlfriend to your mother.
It was in the first months of being first-years in university. There was an issued academic break set by the faculties, taking the time to invite Mikasa to your home. You were so excited that that’s all you can talk about while the gray-eyed girl drove you two to your hometown. That was the only thing enjoyable in the entire trip. Everything went into shit when you blurted out that Mikasa has been more than a friend to you ever since high school. The look on your mother’s face was enough for the two of you to tell that this shouldn’t go on as planned.
“So, you’re telling me that Mikasa has been in our home, doing God knows what to you since high school?” Your mother flatly questioned.
The coldness of her tone made you stiffen in your seat. You can see Mikasa from the corner of your eyes trying to calm herself down by rubbing your hand under the table. It couldn’t be helped that your father, the only understanding person in the family, was absent because of his job. This is why your father chose to live separately from your mom, seeing as she was the kind of authoritative parent and wife, always hovering around each of her family members to keep them in line. You now understand why your father left her because God forbid, it was tempting to cut off ties with the person who gave birth to you as she threw degrading words at Mikasa left and right. You furrowed your eyebrows, tightening your hold on your girlfriend’s hand, which was trembling on your lap. The first time you saw her this shaken was when her knee got injured during her track training. Her skin was so pale like that time that you wanted to pull her out of the house and stay at a nearby hotel to get away from your mother’s wrath.
“Mom, please,” you pleaded, tears prickling your eyes.
“No, [Name], don’t you say another word,” she pointedly snapped at you. “I feel like I have become a failure of a mother. I don’t understand why you have a woman as your lover. It’s just not right. I support it but not if it’s with my daughter.”
You abruptly stood up with half-lidded eyes that never strayed from your mother’s similar shaded ones. Your hand still gripped Mikasa’s, your thumb stroking the back of it in a soothing circle that contrasted the indifferent gaze you gave your mother. When you were a child, you understood her sentiments because you’re her only child, the only person left in her life. But when she started badmouthing the little things observed from other people, you started questioning her parenting. You were told that people who love others of the same sex were sinning the word of a divine being but if that’s the case, you’d gladly be condemned to the pits of Hell if it meant protecting Mikasa from your mother’s harsh words. “We’re leaving.”
“What—?” It was Mikasa.
“Come on, Mika. Let’s find some restaurant downtown. This place is becoming stuffy and I don’t want you to suffocate any further.”
“Hey, Mikasa? Are you alright?”
Mikasa jumped, looking around at their apartment’s living room as if she was confused as to why she was there. She slightly shook her head before turning to the concerned brown irises of her roommate. Trying for a convincing smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, Mikasa forced a laugh as she mindlessly twirled the pasta on her plate with a wistful air surrounding her. “Yeah, I think I’m alright. Just saw my ex earlier when I got out of my last lecture for the day. I feel like that’s the reason why I don’t feel like myself today.”
The movie was then forgotten when Sasha positioned her body so that she could give Mikasa her undivided attention. With a serious expression that the gray-eyed young woman didn’t see in a long time, Sasha asked, “That gorgeous beauty?”
A nod was all Mikasa could answer. Gorgeous was an understatement when it comes to imagining you. You’re practically the most beautiful girl Mikasa saw in her lifetime. 
“Damn, it’s been what? Half a year since you guys broke up?”
A nod from Mikasa. She wrapped her arms around her knees, pushing them further into her chest, feeling so small at the moment. “It would have been fine if she’s alone but…”
Sasha’s mouth parted with realization; eyes wide as she stared at her roommate. “Oh,” she breathed. 
Scooting closer to the gray-eyed girl, Sasha wrapped an arm around her shoulder to let the former lean against her side. She always viewed the two of you to be endgame, seeing as you were dating since you were in high school. It sucks that no matter how much the two of you proved that you belong to one another, it just ends inevitably. Sasha even liked you when Mikasa introduced you to her new roommate when you were first-years. You were shining in the brown-eyed girl’s eyes; smile so bright that she couldn’t help but think you’re pretty, hair perfectly mussed by the wind during the ride to the apartment, casual clothing fitting you in the most pleasing way possible, and personality that one could describe as amazing. You even gave her some of your food when the three of you ate out together. (Mikasa always scolded you for giving away your food when you’re barely even eating regularly.) And when you guys broke up, Sasha saw how Mikasa ended up at the lowest point of her life, locking up inside her room and only going out when Sasha’s asleep. It was only recently that Mikasa slowly became herself again.
Now, Mikasa became that closed-off version of herself after the break-up, and Sasha instantly pulled her in for a hug.
The television kept playing the movie they chose to watch, Mikasa’s silent sobs blending with the movie’s dialogue and seeping through the night.
< she kissed my lips, i taste your mouth
You nearly pulled away when you tasted lemon instead of strawberry.
You nearly looked away when you saw azure instead of metallic gray after the kiss.
You felt so bad for thinking of midnight tresses instead of spun gold every time you lay in bed after hours of studying. Guilt bloomed in your whole torso like a giant wad of roses prickling your insides with their thorns, images of Mikasa plaguing your mind a week after you saw her again after six months. And every time you close your eyes to let sleep pull you in their embrace, arms so secure would wrap around your middle in your dreams, the smell of a rose-scented soap enveloping you in a warm cocoon. It was so contrasting to the minty scent you tried so hard to get used to in those three months you were together with Historia. You promised yourself you’d never date someone else after Mikasa but you tried because she told you to find someone who will treat you better than her. As much as you pleaded with your rationality to not follow her advice, Historia was a breath of fresh air.
It was a rainy night the time you and Mikasa broke up. Funny how you always love the rain and yet the one moment tormenting your daydreams occurred in a thunderstorm.
“Mikasa, what are you talking about?”
Your favorite-colored irises couldn’t meet your stare. “I said you deserve to be with someone who can make you glow with happiness.”
“Where is this coming from?”
She only shook her head, short black hair moving along with the movement. “I feel like I’m not giving enough in this relationship. I noticed how happier you look when you hang out with your friends from your department but when you’re with me, you’re mellowed down and so drained that I’m starting to feel like I’ve done something wrong.” Mikasa buried her hands in her hair, elbows placed on her knees, making herself feel smaller in front of you. You stood up from your bed to kneel in front of her, covering her cheeks tenderly with the palms of your hands. Yet she continued, “My mind is telling me these thoughts that I denied a long time ago since we started university.”
“What thoughts, Mika?”
“That our spark had died down for good.”
You searched her face for any sign of a joke but you could only stare at her downturned eyes.
“That I think we should break up for you to be happier with other people.”
“No,” you murmured, tears starting to blur your vision. “Mikasa.”
“I love you so much to see you unhappy with me.”
“I’m never unhappy when I’m with you. Where did you get that idea?”
Mikasa smiled despite her wobbly lips, gingerly placing her lips on your forehead. “I love you, [Name], I hope you’ll find someone bright enough to let you shine even more.”
It hurts just thinking about that but something pinched it even more when you stared at Historia in front of you, Facetiming someone on her phone. You two were celebrating the end of your exams in a café, treats covering the expanse of your table. It was a breather from all the stressful weeks draining your energy and now you feel refreshed. The book you recently bought was snug in your hands, eyes skimming over the words as Historia animatedly talked to her friend, Ymir. Hearing her laugh at something the freckled girl said, you couldn’t help but look up from a paragraph you were engrossed in. Historia looks so happy, cheeks flushed and giggles so clear that she couldn’t even contain them with her small hand. She never looked like this with you and as much as you anticipated the pain brought by the sight, it didn’t come.
Now, you understood what Mikasa felt, only this time you had to let Historia go because she already belonged to someone else.
Historia just said goodbye to her friend and you knew you had to hold on to this chance.
“Hey, Historia, I have a question.”
She sipped her iced tea. “Shoot.”
“You like Ymir, don’t you?”
The silence and flustered reaction that followed was all it took for you to smile.
< no more mistakes ‘cause in your eyes i'd like to stay
Getting out of a four-hour lecture was bliss to Mikasa. She stretched her arms over her head, letting out a deep breath of relief at the thought of spending her weekend without any backlogs. Finally, she can relax without feeling guilty. After all that hell her department professors gave her, she deserved this break.
Mikasa walked down the hallways with a slight spring in her steps, feeling her phone vibrate with a text message in her bag. Stopping by a little bit at the side of the hallway, Mikasa opened the outer compartment of her bag and turned on her phone. A smile instantly overtook her confused expression.
armin
hey, wanna watch a movie tonite?
eren suggested we could unwind after the exams
figured you needed it
you can stay the night here too !!
Her fingers typed out a reply almost giddily.
Sure.
Let me just text Sasha that I won’t be sleeping in the apartment tonight.
Another message from Armin appeared.
armin
yey !! see you later, Mikasa
At this point, her smile couldn’t be erased on her face.
See you later, Armin.
Then, another message from Armin popped out that made Mikasa laugh a little.
armin
this is eren
mikasa, can u bring dinner PLS
armin and i are too lazy to cook 
plus, you love us 🥺🥺🥺
The gray-eyed girl rolled her eyes, typing out a ‘fine’ before closing her phone. Her brother was sometimes too hard to handle but he can be sweet as well and saying that he needs dinner is just a way for him to say that he misses Mikasa’s cooking. When she looked up, a very familiar blonde and one of Mikasa’s classmates in a general subject came into view in one of the gazebos. Confusion was an understatement while she continued staring at Historia and Ymir laughing as if they were the only ones in the world. It was only a few weeks ago that she saw the blonde girl holding hands with you after a whole day of lectures. Maybe it was because she was staring too long at the couple that Ymir turned in her direction. As the freckled girl recognized the black-haired, stoic girl in one of their general classes, Ymir rose a hand in the air as a greeting. It also didn’t help that Historia looked at where Ymir was waving, with Mikasa tensing at the attention. She hastily waved back before turning in the direction of her car in the parking lot.
Several theories flickered through Mikasa’s head as she pulled out of the parking lot, the department store in their part of the city as her destination. Her mind was still a questioning mess the whole time she roamed the vegetable aisle until she bumped into another shopping cart, the clang of the metal breaking her trance.
“I’m sorry,” she told the person holding the other cart without looking up from her groceries.
“It’s fine.”
Mikasa quickly lifted her head at your voice. She probably looked like an idiot gawking at you in the middle of an aisle. You were dressed in an aquamarine shirt tucked in a pair of black slacks; your hair slung over one of your shoulders but for her, you looked so pretty. She concluded that you also got back from one of your lectures since your bag was placed inside the shopping cart, leaning beside a carton of strawberry milk. At the sight of the beverage, Mikasa’s chest pounded with her loud heartbeat, all the memories of you saying you like the taste of strawberries because of her entering her mind. Even after a full minute of you staring at each other, Mikasa couldn’t bear to look away. You’re so beautiful and she misses you so much.
“I miss you, too, Mikasa,” you murmured with flushed cheeks. “And you look good as usual.”
Mikasa’s face burned with embarrassment, reaching her ears, as she realized that she said her thoughts out loud. She was acting like she was in high school when she came to terms with her feelings for you. “U-Uhm, how are y-you?” Fucking hell, what is she stuttering for? It’s not like she got a below-passing score on one of her majors.
You softly smiled, tucking a stray lock of her behind your ear. “I’m doing fine. I was just thinking of making some homemade dinner tonight.” 
Mikasa nodded, recalling that you got a single apartment. “Me, too, but Eren asked me to make dinner for our movie night with Armin.”
At the mention of the two men, your face brightened. “How are they?”
The gray-eyed young woman reciprocated your smile. “Armin is still reeling Eren from doing anything stupid. You know how that dingbat is.” Your laugh made her day better. She faintly noticed that the two of you started walking side by side, pushing your carts to who knows what section of the department store. “The last time I saw them was before the exam week and we were studying so we didn’t do any catching up. Speaking of exams, how are yours?”
You hummed. “I think I got a passing grade on Parasitology and Microbiology. Those were the only subjects keeping me up for how many nights in a row.” You chuckled at your caffeinated state the previous weeks. “But the others were all papers so I guess I’m fine as of now.”
“Don’t tell me you got yourself palpitations from all the coffee.”
“You know me so well, Mika,” you laughed. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to order coffee every time I go out this time. I don’t want a repeat of that night when I studied for Para. It was worse because I don’t have a roommate. How is Sasha doing, by the way? Still a ball of sunshine, I hope.” You spotted a cereal box you wanted to try so you mindlessly reached out for it but it was on the top shelf. Mikasa noticed your struggles, stopping behind you after chuckling to herself at how adorable you looked to reach the cereal box. You visibly tensed when you felt her front brush against your back, the box of cereal greeting your vision with Mikasa’s hand brushing on yours. “Thank you,” you whispered.
“You’re welcome,” she answered, patting your head before taking her cart and pushing it in the direction of the dairy section. “Yeah, Sasha is still as rowdy as the day you last visited. I threatened her again when she tried eating what I was plating for dinner. It was not a lovely night.” Mikasa paused, looking behind her when you’re not following close. She slightly panicked when she saw you looking down and gripping on the handle of the shopping cart. “[Name]? Are you okay?”
“Mikasa, I’m still into you.” You faced her with a smile. “Will you let me love you with all my heart again?”
Mikasa was speechless, her throat clogging up with overflowing emotions. She let out a delighted light, looking at you with eyes full of love.
“Yes. Will you let me in your heart again, [Name]?”
“Always, Mika.”
Their song of forever played once again and it felt so right that they wondered why they stopped it in the first place.
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come-on-shitty-boys · 4 years
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//general dating headcannons//
Characters: Sugawara Koushi/Matsukawa Issei/Miya Osamu
Word Count: 1.5K (~500 a piece)
Warnings: none :)
Notes: my head is so empty.  It is just tattoo artist!kuroo rn.
Sugawara Koushi
Ah my beautiful chaotic angel.
Sugawara is pretty bold for the most part, but-
When it came to asking you out?  He couldn’t do it.  His stomach would get all jittery and he was never able to form sentences.  
So, when you made the first move?  When you hit on him first?  He instantly regained any and all of his confidence.
You thought he was just going to sit there and blush? Oh, honey.  How wrong you are.
Sugawara simply smiles at you and flirts right back twice as hard.  Knowing that you’re into him as much as he’s into you makes him forget any anxieties he has about approaching you.  By the end of the exchange, Sugawara has your number and a date scheduled for Friday night.  
It’s a very relaxed dynamic with the two of you.  
Sugawara is really big on study dates and if you aren’t the best student, he doesn’t mind breaking it down step by step with you.  He’s going to be asking if his explanations make sense after each step and if you’re still lost, don’t worry.  Suga would love to try to find a better way to help you.  He wants to be a teacher, so why not start practicing now?
He’s going to pester you about taking care of yourself.  Please expect regular reminders to drink water and grab a snack, but the same applies to him.  If he’s asking you to get a snack, I can assure you that he has unwrapped a granola bar.  He tells you to drink some water?  Koushu will be downing water as if he hasn’t had a drink in years.  
He is a very “we” oriented person.  Any problems he wants to get through together.  He doesn’t see the point in attacking one another if there’s a bigger issue that needs addressed.
Because of this, you guys never really fight?  Sure, there’s some minor spats every now and then, but it’s never anything serious.  
Sugawara also doesn’t really get jealous.  He has a crazy amount of trust in you and knows that you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself.  But, if you need him to step in, he’s not afraid to be so overwhelmingly nice that whoever might be hitting on you backs off.  
Always makes sure that you’re okay ;-; He wants to make sure that you are mentally, physically, and emotionally well at all times.  
He’s very open with you and would really like it if you could be open with him.  He understands that it’s difficult and not everything is the easiest to say, but he’s there to help you through anything.  It’s the two of you versus the issue.  Suga doesn’t want you to feel alone.
He’s a super kind boyfriend, but also very fun.  He will be showing up at your door in the middle of the night because he’s craving a milkshake and some fresh air.  It’s as simple as that.  
Sugawara keeps an extra jacket in his club room cubby in case you ever get cold in class, because yes.  He is that boyfriend.
10/10 recommend a Koushi in your life.
Matsukawa Issei
THE BEST 
Like the absolute best
Issei is just so laid-back that it’s difficult not to have a good time with him.  
He likes to have his arm around your waist and he’ll pull you into his side nice and tight, let you relish in his body heat.
He’ll give you a really soft kiss on your temple that makes you smile up at him, love in your eyes, so happy to be with him.
Only for him to straight up jab you in the sides with his fingers.  Not hard enough to actually hurt you, but it’s definitely catching you off guard.  
Issei loves to make fun of you.  I don’t make the rules.  He’s going to lovingly call you an idiot when you misspell something simple or make a simple calculation error.  If you’re shorter than him, doesn’t even matter how short, he’s going to pat your head and call you ‘short stuff’
But he would never laugh at you for something that you were genuinely insecure about.  He’s not that much of an asshole.  And if he ever does say something that upsets you?
He’s right there behind you, bringing you flush against his chest, leaning down to whisper every reassurance and every apology, reminding you that every fiber of his being loves you just the way you are.
I would never outright tell you that he gets jealous, but-
The extra bite to his words whenever the conversation is focused on another guy would lead you to believe otherwise.  
He refuses to admit that he’s jealous.  Matsukawa Issei?  Jealous?  N o.  yes.
One time he took you to work and the two of you took a nap in one of the bigger coffins
This was, of course, only after he hid from you.  When you came looking for him, he waited until you were right in front of him before he grabbed you and pulled you towards him.
You screamed loud enough to wake the dead.  Luckily, none of his clients had an urge to wake from their eternal slumber in response to your screams.
Nap time with Matsukawa is a must.  Whether it be in bed or on the couch or, hell, he’s willing to sleep on the floor, he just wants to be able to stare at you while you fall asleep on his chest.
He really likes playing with your hair?  That’s his go-to mindless habit; twisting your hair around his fingers absently.  
Not going to lie, he prefers staying home for dates than actually going out.  He wouldn’t object if you really wanted to, but sitting on the couch with take-out containers and Netflix is his preferred date night activity.  
He doesn’t even ask if you want his jacket.  The minute it even gets close to being the slightest bit chilly, he’s putting his jacket around your shoulders.
Loves back hugs and you can expect all of the back hugs from our gorgeous boy 
Miya Osamu
It all started because Atsumu told him that he wouldn’t.  
Ever since Atsumu had found out about his brother's little crush on you, he had made it his personal mission to tease ‘samu about it every single day.  
Atsumu pretty much said that Osamu was too much of a scaredy cat to ask you out and if ‘samu didn’t ask you out by the end of the day, Atsumu would take you out on a date instead.
So, insert Miya Osamu immediately walking towards you without another word to his brother.  He stopped you in the hallway and simply asked, “Would you like to go on a date sometime?”
Is he proud that it took his brother threatening him to get him to ask you out? No. Does he regret asking you out? Also no.
Osamu made you food and took you on a picnic for your first date ;-; He would’ve liked to have just invited you over and cooked with you, but Atsumu was home and there isn’t a bigger vibe killer than your twin brother down the hall playing video games with his friends.
It takes a lot for anything to really piss Osamu off.  He would never yell at you, but he does have his moments where he gets annoyed and everything just bottles up until he snaps at you.
Instantly feels bad.  The way you flinch at his words has his temper fizzling away from him in a moment’s notice.  He’ll wrap you in a bone crushing hug, apologizing into your hair, not even giving you a chance to speak, because he’s practically smothering you against his shoulder.
Hahahahaha he’s one of the most jealous people that you will ever meet.
Maybe it’s from growing up with a brother and constantly having to share that made him despise the thought of someone else looking at you now.  
Osamu is a pretty big guy which already makes him kind of intimidating, but his deadpan expression and bored words just adds another layer of icing to the cake. 
His grip on your hand will tighten until his knuckles are white and you’re squirming in an attempt to pull your hand away because his grip is kind of uncomfortable.  
He won’t even say anything.  He’ll just stare and make the occasional back-handed remark towards whatever guy had approached you.
He really doesn’t like to cuddle.  You can lay your head on his shoulder or his chest, but other than that, he doesn’t really see the appeal of it, and, quite honestly, he’s fine without it. 
But, he does like to hold your hand.  Like-
Always.  If you’re just sitting on the couch together, he wants to hold your hand.  You guys are waiting for something to finish up in the oven?  He’s holding your hands in his.  There’s just something so comforting to him about feeling your hands in his 
In conclusion.  Hi, I love Miya Osamu and I would like to purchase one ASAP. Thank you.
Taglist: @moncymonce​ @nicka-nell​ also hey @nekxrizawa​ come get your husband.
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cricketnationrise · 4 years
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Lil ransom POV that’s been knocking around since Nurseyweek
seemed like a good time to post
_X_
Ransom loves Samwell, even if he can only make it down for Alumni Weekend.
This was the place where he had met his best friends, played swasome hockey, and made some banging spreadsheets, if he does say so himself. And he does. Because Excel backed him up.
“Yo, Ransom! What’s up?!” Ransom spins around at the sound of his name, and then –
“Oh, chill.”
He really should have braced himself. Nursey always was like a puppy. But like a Newfoundland puppy. Or some other puppy that doesn’t realize how big they are. Because now he and Nursey are both on the ground.
In the back of his mind, Ransom knows they are completely in the way of people trying to get to class, but he’s just so glad to see Nursey in person that he doesn’t care.
“Nursey! What have we said about curbing your enthusiasm?”
“That I shouldn’t because it’s a delightful part of my personality?” Nursey asks.
“5 points to Nursey!”
They finally manage to untangle themselves enough to stand up and move off the sidewalk, Ransom initiating a proper hug. “It’s good to see you, got time for Annie’s?”
“Chyeah for sure! Oh man, I have so much to tell you.” And they’re off. Just like Ransom never left. It’s comforting to know that Nursey can still ramble on with the best of them. He was worried about Nursey a little bit this year. He knew first-hand how hard senior year could be, especially with an A on his jersey. Listening to Nurse go off about his classes, how much he missed Bitty’s baking, how much more terrifying Chowder is in goal this year, Ransom grins. Nursey seems to have gained a new version of his chill. He seems happy, and in control of things.
One of the first things they bonded over was their respective anxiety. Ransom is glad that Nursey is starting senior year in a much healthier mental place than he did. One thing off Ransom’s mental worry checklist.
“…And yeah, now that Dex is captain we have all these morning practices again, like Jack, but not quite so early, thank god. He’s doing a good job with the new freshmen; they really look up to him. He’s started making bread, actually? I think Bitty sent him a recipe. Oh, and Chowder and Farms are even cuter this year than ever before, its nauseating man. But all three of us are in a class together, actually! It’s really chill, we’re taking that photography class like Jack took! Dex suggested it – which was totally chill of him. He was all its arty for you Nursey, Chowder is enthusiastic about everything, and its technical enough that I won’t feel totally lost. Like how cool is that? It’s a really cool class, relaxing, weirdly. Like, meditative, ya know? Anyway, tell me about you, man. It’s been too long since we caught up!”
As they get in line at Annie’s, Ransom fills him in on working with Holster and applying to med school for next year.
“Yeah so I figured out I want to be research focused, and probably kid-focused? Like, I want to be able to help kids with what I’m researching, so I’ve been looking into what I need for that, but it’s going well, I think. Hilariously, no one at work seems to realize that Holster and I a) know each other and b) are dating already. I’ve had 4 people in the last week come up to me and ask if I’m seeing anyone because Adam in the other department would be PERFECT for me. Truly amazing.”
“That’s hilarious, holy shit.”
“What can I get you today?” the barista asks.
“I’ll get a vanilla latte, please,” Ransom says.
“And I’ll have a Chai Latte with a shot of vanilla. Oh, also a Hot Honey Ginger Lemon Tea. Thanks, Steph,” Nursey rattles off.
They collect their drinks and head toward the Haus without needing to talk about anything in particular. It’s always restful just hanging out with Nursey. Ransom is the most extrovert ever to extrovert, but even he needs down time sometimes, and Nursey can be, dare he say it, chill, when he wants to be. Also, it’s a beautiful fall day, and it’s nice to just soak it up. Nursey is probably composing like 5 poems in his head about it right now.
Walking up the steps to the Haus, Ransom pauses a little, just to savor the moment. He’s been back before this, obviously, but it’s getting harder to visit, and once he’s in med school, it’ll be even rarer. He wants to keep this place in his memory forever.
“Dex! You’re alive!” he hears Nursey yell from the kitchen. Walking in himself, he sees Dex, looking utterly miserable. He’s wrapped in a blanket, wearing his roadie flannel sweatpants, his SMH hoodie, and – is that Nursey’s green beanie? Ransom blinks, trying to process.
“Hey Nursey. Hey Ransom,” Dex rasps out, trying to smile at Ransom before coughing a little.
“Oh hey, I got you this from Annie’s since you weren’t feeling well this morning,” says Nursey, “It’s the you tea.”
“Thanks. The U tea?” Dex asks before taking a sip and sighing in apparent delight.
“No, the YOU, Y-O-U tea, the Dex tea,” Nursey says.
“Why is it the Dex tea?” Ransom asks.
“It’s the Hot Honey Ginger Lemon tea,” Nursey explains.
Dex goes bright red, and Ransom would blame the coughing fit he has, but it definitely started in his ears and is it just him or do those coughs sound a little forced?
“Did you just get him the only thing with Ginger in the name?” Ransom asks, amused. Dex narrows his eyes at Ransom while Nursey looks in the fridge for a snack. Good to know that Dex’s crush on Nursey is healthy as ever, even when he’s not.
“No, but that’s an added bonus,” Nursey says, “I got him tea because tea always helps my throat. The ginger, lemon, and honey all work really well together for a cold; my moms swear by it, I always had it growing up. No it’s the Dex tea because its ginger like your hair, obviously, and honey like your eyes, sorta, and lemon like your attitude when you’re stressed, and hot because – “ Nursey pauses like he just realizes he was on the verge of waxing poetic about Dex.
“Hot because what?” Ransom asks. Ransom is outright grinning now, while Dex is looking determinedly into his cup like maybe he could drown himself in it, blushing more deeply than Ransom has ever seen him. And Nursey – Nursey is visibly putting on a layer of chill, of armor. He catches Ransom’s eyes, nods once, takes a deep breath, and finishes the thought,
“And hot because you’re hot, Dex.”
“What.”
“You heard me.”
“I – wow, Nurse. I don’t know what to say.”
“You could say yes.”
“I could say yes?” Dex asks in a small voice.
“To whether you’d come on a date with me when you feel better.”
“I – I –,” Dex looks at Nursey intently, probably trying to see whether he’s serious or chirping. Ransom holds his breath. If they remember that he’s here, they might not ever get this far again.
“Yes. I’d like that.”
“Did you just say yes?” Nursey asks, smile starting to break out.
“Yes. When I don’t feel like death on toast. Yes.” Dex is smiling too.
“Chi – “
“GUYS!” Ransom interrupts before Nursey can say chill, and also because he’s legit tearing up right now, “If I wasn’t so damn happy for you both I’d be fining the hell out of you.”
“Like you could, I’m the captain now.”
“Yeah but the group chat would back me up on the sap level in the kitchen right now,” Ransom smirks.
“Alright, fair.” Dex says, taking another sip of his tea. His blankets slip down to his elbows now, exposing the number. But instead of #24, C there is very clearly a different number. #28, A.
Nursey falls off his chair in his attempt to make sure that what he’s seeing is real.
“Dexy, are you wearing my hoodie? And my hat?”
Ransom’s phone chimes.
Holster: U @ the Haus? I’m omw with Chowder and Whiskey rn
“Maybe.”
Me: yup It finally happened btw
“Maybe? Dex its right there!”
Holster: what happened? The railing finally gave out?
“Maybe they’re comfortable. And warm. I’m sick.”
Me: nah man Well maybe idk Haven’t left the kitchen But Dex and Nursey They’re goin on a date
“Well maybe if I’d known how hot it is to see you in my clothes I would have asked you out sooner,” Nursey says flirtatiously.
Holster: !!!!!! DUDE HOLY SHIT DEETS RANS I NEED DEETS
“I signed up for this. I literally signed up for this,” Dex groans.
Ransom: Nursey brought him tea That reminded him of Dex Because it’s the hot honey ginger lemon tea And he got to why hot reminded him of dex And was actually smooth??? That was a trip to watch Dex said yes And now they are bickering again But like its sweet?
“Yeah you did, Dexy. Can’t get rid of me now. You know I’m ride or die.”
Holster: HOLY SHIT I’m so proud of them Chowder is crying btw Oh wait Now he’s sprinting toward the Haus So Incoming
Me: 👍
“Hey lovebirds.” Nursey and Dex look over at him, both surprised he is still here. They definitely forgot about him. “Chowder’s on his way. Also Holster and Whiskey. So. Get pumped for that because the groupchat isn’t far behind.”
Dex puts his head on the table and groans unintelligibly. Nursey just beams and puts his arm around Dex’s shoulders, “Oh, nice. Now we don’t have to stress about when to tell him.”
Ransom just laughs and preps the text he’s gonna send to the groupchat. He really should try to visit more often. Ransom loves Samwell.
_X_
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iwritemush · 3 years
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Hey I hope I’m not bothering you but I saw the match up thing so
I’m a girl of average tallness, redish brown hair normally in a bun or ponytail. My favorite colors are green, blue and yellow
I like to draw and I want to be an animator. I can play the clarinet. However I have dyslexia, ADHD, and anxiety. Im also a sailing instructor and live near lots of water.
Also I would like to say that I’m apparently so quite that people don’t tend to notice me or I I have to repeat things multiple times
Ummmmm so I hope you have a good day and bye-
First of all- We seem very similar, you sound like a cooler version of me and I love that for you.
Second- your not bothering me :)
But I’ll get onto the actual post here,,
Now who’s your Match up,,,,,,,
Bulky bulky bulkhead
Tumblr media
If I find out that anyone other then whoever asks uses this images you will be banned bc this is only for whoever ask
May be a giant wrecker on the outside but is really just a flower
Probably doesn’t know much about art, but absolutely LOVES your art
I imagine if you like drawing sceneries he might take you on a ride to a cool place for inspo, and if your more into character design maybe take you to other places (like different towns, states, places where people do things)
Is amazed with all your art, just surprised someone can make that! Probably been a LONG time since he’s stopped to look at art and whenever the last time was, might be a blurry memory due to how long the war had been going on.
I’m begging you to draw him a picture
Mr gentle giant always double checking on you if you got anxiety, just wants to make sure your okay
After a while of learning about one another will probably figure out some coping mechanisms for you and ways to help you calm down if you ever have panic attacks
Guy just wants the best for you
He highly encourages you to go out and make friends(if your anxiety gets in the way of that-ik it affects my social life)
Thinks other people will like your personality or your art bc he thinks both are amazing
If you start making friends with the other humans at the base or maybe when he comes to pick you up and you talk to someone at school?? So proud of you! He won’t make a big deal out of it or anything, not wanting you to be uncomfortable but if he wasn’t in his alt mode you would see a massive smile.
With your adhd, will try his best to understand, can’t do much as he is limited but he doesn’t judge
Same with dyslexia, he might not understand but doesn’t mind or judge
If anyone DARES hurt you (a con) my guy is INSANE. Hates the thought of anyone hurting you.
If your ever hurt he is so worried, not a medic but he can tell when stuff isn’t good
Breakdown often may target you bc he knows he’s your guardian
Bulkhead just gets a worse relationship after he realizes he goes after you, genuinely feels horrible about it because he’s your guardian.
Will always listen to you vent, might give very strange advice but he’s trying yk??? And he tries just for you.
They will get better over time after he learns more I swear (or I hope)
As a vroom vroom car he isn’t near the water often but loves hearing about your experience with the sea
If you don’t make a video on a boat rn and show it to him I will be very sad
Explain to him boating stuff, be his instructor but without the boat, it will be hard but I promise it is needed
He thinks your so cool and talented, loves hearing anything about your day
Anyway I just talked to him and we both agree your super cool
I also hope you had a fantastic day and liked this post!
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lizacstuff · 3 years
Text
SCK Asks: Episode 38
(asks under the cut)
Anonymous said: happy edser just HITS different. maybe it's because we've been so deprived of them together and blissful, it's such a joy to watch. i had a silly grin on my face during all their scenes. sure the tumor cloud is looming over our heads, but this episode only laid the foundation for that and then went into romcom mode, which i really appreciated because we've been bogged down for SO LONG with heaviness, it was nice to just take a breather.
OMG! Yes, all of this. And I’m not sure if it’s happy Edser that hits different, or if it was whatever magic and sparkle these writers injected into this episode that made it hit different.  
The magic was BACK. The sparkle was BACK. These writers took the most ridiculous scenario idea (these two famous architects deciding to solve a murder) and just made it sing. I grinned through the whole thing and laughed out loud, A LOT. 
This was the first episode in ages where I wasn’t watching the clock and waiting for some uncomfortable or unpleasant moment or scene to occur. Instead watching was pure joy and no anxiety, even with a tumor diagnosis. 
There was so much good Edser in this episode it’s hard to know what to talk about. I loved every moment they were on screen together. 
Anonymous said: I have to hand it to you, you said that the reason they were doing this pregnancy story is so that we could find out that Selin and Serkan never slept together. ngl I wanted her to suffer more, but as long as she’s gone I’m fine with her punishment being the humiliation of having to admit that in front of Eda. 
Ha! Yes, I have said that all along, and I’ve never been more relieved to be right. They really went the extra mile with having Selin spell out that it hadn’t happened.  With the English subs it almost sounded like they had never, ever had sex, even before.  If so, I could actually believe it, their prior relationship seemed to be very business like, like they were each other’s safe, convenient date to business and family functions, and it wasn’t emotional or physical for him. 
After the gross story around Selin, and how much damage she did and how much she got away with, this was not nearly enough comeuppance to sate my thirst for her pain. These writers started this story and introduced Selin’s role in it, so it’s not like they 100% inherited something they had nothing to do with. However, between Bige’s limited availability due to her father passing, Sarp Can having covid, and the way the other writers drug it into the ground, I’m also just happy it’s over and will deal with this being all we get, plus, while she didn’t get punished adequately, she did take her lumps. It’s humiliating that Serkan went around acting incredulous to everyone who would listen that she could be pregnant because he never touched her, even while she was his fiancé. I mean that’s a shrinker. Can you imagine agreeing to marry a man who you knew didn’t want to touch you? Everyone now knows her sad, pathetic desperation to have him under any circumstances. Yikes. 
And as you say, she then had to stand in front of Eda and Serkan and admit he didn’t touch her. Admit that Serkan never wanted her, and it’s humiliating that everyone at Art Life knows what she did and thinks she’s a monster. Serkan finally knows she’s an awful manipulator who tried to trick him, and in the end she gets an unplanned pregnancy with a man who doesn’t love her and whom she doesn’t love.  So it’s not like she’s winning by any stretch of the imagination. 
(Though I really wish everyone knew (mostly Serkan and Eda) that she sabotaged Eda’s presentation. It’s important for the characters to know that she can’t be trusted professionally as well as personally... but oh well.)
Anonymous said: Two things: 1) I kinda love it even more that they got the tattoos before he found about the illness.. idk why but it was even MORE romantic. Also does this mean they're kinda sorta engaged again since the reason she said no in the first place was Selin? and 2) I need more of that "ring for love" bell ASAP. My jaw actually dropped when he lifted her up since we were deprived of it in 26.. please more breaking of family structures!!
Oh I agree, I found it very romantic they went and got the tattoos and the only impetus was their desire to have a symbol of their love. I already love those tattoos so much, and I love that they sat their designing them together. They really do signify the ultimate commitment. 
I’m not sure if they’re engaged or not. Maybe they’re in a place where it’s obvious they’re going to get married, they both know they’re going to get married, but we’re still going to get one more proposal to make it official?  
As for the ring for love bell, when and where did he get that!? Hee. And yes to more breaking of the Turkish family structure. That lift and twirl through the living room was... HOT. And it was just so effortless, there are just no words at times for how good Hande and Kerem are, I’ve really never seen anything like it. They don’t really have time to rehearse on set, or limitless takes or the time to really block and perfect things, but they’re just so good together they make magic happen every time they’re on screen.  Amazing. Enjoy this kids, because you probably won’t see anything like it again. 
Anonymous said: With the nature of these shows, Eda and Serkan will not a blissful happily ever after without something hanging over there heads or some new drama until the show actually ends. So if the new angst is Serkan's potential illness, I'm down for the potential angst it'll create.. it's already a good sign that, although he hasn't told her about it yet, he's not pushing her away in fear, but instead the opposite. I also don't think, and really hope not, him keeping it secret rn won't cause trouble.
Yes, I like that even with that heavy health news hanging over the episode, it was still light and funny and romantic and had that old sparkle. That tells me that they’re going to strike the right tone with this story which seems to be a very carpe diem thing with Serkan. 
It didn’t bother me that he didn’t tell her. First, he told the doctor that he didn’t want anyone to know until he had a diagnosis. That makes sense, why worry her, or any of them, before they know.  I’m sure I would feel different if he was pushing her away because of the diagnosis, but since he’s holding her close and just seems to want to spend time with her, without that heaviness hanging over her head, I’m okay with it. 
Also, as seen in the new fragman, if this story is an excuse to get them out of the office and put them in all sorts of scenarios together it would otherwise be hard to justify, bring it on.  Let’s see how far down the list of things to do they can get! 
Anonymous said: i know no one reaaaally cares because they're not most people's favorite side characters, but it's really much nicer to watch aydan and ayfer scenes now that they're both on "team edser" and have become really good friends. i swear, the AAA trio scenes were so unbearable to watch when they were fighting over him and i was fast forwarding through all of them.. at least i can sit through team "united" aydan/ayfer scenes.
They’re actually enjoyable scenes now! I love that they’ve become actual true friends, best friends really, and along with Seyfi I love their little trio.  Love that Seyfi and Ayfer were being so supportive about Aydan rekindling something with Kemal.  And I agree that we can root for them when they’re working for Edser’s well-being and happiness.  I just hope Aydan doesn’t do something stupid if there begins to be some question about Serkan’s parentage. 
Anonymous said: the scooby doo gang ending had me laughing so hard i was tearing up when more and more people kept sneaking in and eda and serkan were getting more and more exasperated. erdem accidentally using flash took me tf out lmao. i love when sck does comedy with the whole cast and not just the usual "comedy" characters.. they're some of my favorite scenes! both "asking for the girl" scenes come to mind.
You could see Erdem using the flash coming from a mile away, but that still didn’t blunt the comedy when he actually did it.  So funny. Also Engin not recognizing Eda, imagine him thinking Serkan is there with some rando woman.  I also love the full cast comedy scenes, they are so much fun and really should be utilized as often as possible. 
The scene where Edser walk back into the house and Aydan and Kemal were there paying their respects had me screech-laughing! So so so funny. Both sides being incredulous that the other was there and wanting answers!  I also enjoyed that Serkan obviously put Erdem in charge of Kemal’s project, because he wants that project to go away. Unfortunately for Serkan, I think it’s going to take more than Erdem to drive Kemal away.  
Anonymous said: Everyone is saying serkan planned the whole thing, do you buy into that? Idk would he really put everyone in a gunpoint situation where they don’t know it’s fake? Cause that’s some potentially trauma inducing stuff. Also I have no idea where they’re going with this, since it’s been a 4 day break from set which is kind of worrying. And do you know why Melisa wasn’t in the ep? I know Sarp can got Covid but wasn’t Melisa posting with cast members on her story throughout the week?
Wow, this is a lot of negative energy and fretting after a really good episode. Deep breath. Since you sent this, we know that Hande and Kerem have been shooting for 2 full days at a romantic looking beach location for 39, so it looks like Edser has some sort of mini-getaway. I don’t see any reason to be concerned about the 4 day break last week. (now the fragman’s out, hopefully that puts your mind at ease)
No idea why Melissa wasn’t in the ep, other than the way the ep was structured with the supporting characters, if she had to miss the ArtLife shooting day then I can see that they would have had to write her out of the full episode, because most of their scenes were there and it set up everything for the rest of the episode. So perhaps she was in quarantine for a Covid exposure, maybe she was legit sick/injured (she has had a foot thing) or maybe she had a conflict for that one shooting day. No idea, but I don’t think it’s anything to worry about.  Also her absence gave us Ferit/Melo scenes and I’m 100% behind that, give us more of those! 
As far as if Serkan planned the whole thing, he did look pretty smug and relaxed while sitting there at the end, but he also wasn’t planning for the whole group to tag along and make a mess, lmao. We’ll have to see. 
Anonymous said: Do you think bad ratings makes sck in danger of being cancelled or do you think high social media engagement keeps it safe?
Friends, I don’t know anything about the Turkish system, but it seems to me that SCK will either go through May or extend into summer and end then, regardless of the ratings. We shall see. As I’ve said before I’m not going to engage in the fretting and worrying and discussion on this topic because no fan really knows what they’re talking about and there is nothing we can do to change what will happen. So just enjoy the show while we can, the news on when it will end will come when it comes. 
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