#(I know I am likely reaching but it would not be the first lyric reference he's made in comms đ)
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Well, I can't refuse an excuse to indulge lmao. Some of these explanations will have to remain very brief/vague in an attempt to tiptoe around spoilers, but I'll say as much as I can!
Honorary mention to Killers Walk which won't make it onto this list with an explanation because you know I just put it on here for sillies.
Be prepared for this to get pretty long!
(Don't Fear) the Reaper
This one's obvious, but I do want to mention that the change of parentheses placement was purposeful. (Don't) Fear the Reaper as in do, as in you should, as in you have every reason to fear them, but that "(don't)" is meant to imply a whisper from the reapers themselves. A plead. Please don't be scared of me.
One Way or Another
Also pretty obvious, but this one especially made it on to the playlist because I am struck with visions of an animatic of Sun going ham with his axe/knife on the counselors, montage style, every time it plays. It's just so fitting to how giddy and enthusiastic he is when getting his hands dirty. Then there's the final chorus, "One way, or another, I'm gonna lose ya, I'm gonna give you the slip, I'm gonna trick ya," which will be especially relevant in these coming chapters.
Wolf Boy
The first appearance of a modern song! I normally like to keep my au playlists to the era they take place in (take the Dead Mall Dare playlist, for example), but I had to break that habit for this au because there were just too many songs that fit too well to pass up. This being one of them!
The lyrics feel play a play-by-play of the experience thus far. Y/N has many bones to pick with them (murder being just the start), and they would give anything to just forget about this whole event and go back to how their life was before, but it's never that easy. I think "I ain't gonna play the same" touches on Y/N's refusal to look the other way. They had an opportunity to save themselves if they only played along, but they're playing another game entirely, and they don't intend to lose.
"Wolf boy" itself is undeniably clear (I mean, I literally made a Wolf Among Sheep reference last chapter), especially with the line about a puppy becoming a beast. They've seen how Sun switches on a dime, the way he puts his amicability up on the shelf like a prop, and now that you've made your decision, it's your head on the platter.
"Can you dig what I found?" reminds of moments where they first started putting the puzzle pieces together, and most especially when they discovered Jenn's drivers license. They won't be left alone anymore because they can no longer be trusted not to stick their nose where it doesn't belong.
"You think you're some tough stuff, I hope you're happy now," said after three of their friends have now been put to the blade, one way or another. They still don't understand why Sun enjoys their suffering so much, why it makes him happy to see them panic, and with how smug he's been about it all it's really starting to piss Y/N off. There's only so much empathy one can share with a serial killer before it becomes motive.
"If you're gonna huff and puff, I gotta save this town" because they've finally reached their breaking point, and they're prepared to drive the wolf out of town if they have to do it all on their own.
My favorite part about this song is how the vibe of the final chorus changes â and how sudden the change is. To me, this is the musical version of the moment the Final Girl decides it's time to fight back.
Shout
This one, to me, feels like a one-sided conversation between Sun and Y/N. "These are the things I can do without" being his implications of what he is willing to risk, and what he is willing to lose to get the job done. Because he has nothing left to lose, and that makes for a very dangerous person.
"I hope we live to tell the tale" The fish metaphor. The fish metaphor. You understand. "And when you've taken down your guard, if I could change your mind, I'd really love to break your heart" It bears repeating that he is still convinced he can change your mind, and you'll one day see his side of things. He would love nothing more than to wrap things up here and then live out the rest of your lives together as besties. But both of you know that's not going to happen.
Eyes Without a Face
The first song mentioned in the fic! (Actually, the only song actually mentioned in the fic so far. I gotta remedy that.)
"I'm all out of hope, one more bad dream could bring a fall."
"I spent so much time believing all the lies to keep the dream alive"
"Now all I can do is love what was once so alive and new, but it's gone from your eyes. I'd better realize." What can I say except that this guy is depressed and delusional. I hope you pick up on the themes of this one on your own because I keep trying to come up with ways to articulate why this one is important but I just look like a guy with his theory board and red string. Please tell me you understand. please. please. plea
Hungry Like a Wolf
This one is just for funsies. Something something Wolf and Rabbit dynamic. "Strut on a line, it's discord and rhyme" something something he be flipping on that dime again. You get it.
Private Eyes and Somebody's Watching Me
I'm not explaining this one. They're both about stalking and seeing through each other's facades it's not that deep (it is).
Psycho Killer
Come on man.
Dead Man's Party
Oingo Boingo beloved. This one is one of those songs that is a mix of Vibe and Lyrics. Sun would kill somebody to this. It's just bouncy enough to match his vibe perfectly. The lyrics themselves are pretty obvious:
"I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go. Walkin' with a dead man over my shoulder"
"Waiting for an invitation to arrive, goin' to a party where no one's still alive"
"Don't run away, it's only me"
There's more to it of course but alas, spoilers. You'll figure it out.
Dancing With Myself
If DFtR au were a movie this would be on the soundtrack, and yeah, Sun would kill someone to this one too. It makes me think about the times they've made their own company with the forest animals after being made outcasts, and especially when he extends an offer for you to join himâ but, ah, that hasn't happened yet, has it?
Personal Jesus
What can I say except that this guy is too smug for his own good, and that kind of self assured vanity can only bring further tragedy. Sun and Moon are convinced that what they're doing is righteous, that it is justified retribution, that they are the heroes of this story. And Sun is personally going to do everything he can to convince you of that.
Bigmouth Strikes Again
"Sweetness, I was only joking when I said I'd like to smash every tooth in your head"
"Sweetness, I was only joking when I said By rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed"
"Now I know how Joan of Arc felt, as the flames rose to her Roman nose and her Walkman started to melt."
This guy is not joking. And his martyr complex is showing.
Tear You Apart
I pointedly look away from the camera. Anywayâ
Y'all Want a Single
This one is so self indulgent. I just like to imagine Sun beating the shit out of somebody to this song I'm so sorry. This is the song where he stops playing with his food and just goes balls to the walls.
Who is She
Hey, I drew that vhs poster to this song!
There's just something so eerie about the vibe of this one, and I really enjoy the mental picture it draws of Sun and Moon's opinion of Y/N; how conflicted he is about their presence, how intriguing they are, how their antics are equally exciting and frustrating. This song is about them losing you. You, who they never had to begin with.
#4, Portrait of Mr. Boogie, AHS 1984, The Quarry
Skipping ahead on the list a bit so I can save the best songs for last. These four songs are nothing but atmosphere music for me. They don't personally relate to the story in any way (I mean, they're instrumental, so yknow), and are just songs that I keep on the playlist because I've repeatedly written scenes to them.
#4, specifically, was played while writing out the discovery of Chet's body (for real this time), and I'd like to think it's the song that would play during that scene were this a true slasher film, too.
Run Rabbit Run
Yeah yeah rabbit is in the title. Yeah yeah Moon made reference to this very song in his rhymed threat about a hunter coming for a trapped rabbit. But also this song is immediately relevant to the next chapter :) and I can't say more than that.
Now we're getting into heavy spoiler territory. These next three songs will be kept purposefully vague, but I hope you'll remember them when the time comes that all of it is laid bare.
Disenchanted
This song is about the tragedy. The tragedy that befell the campgrounds, yes, but more so about the tragedy that Sun and Moon endured as a result.
"Well I was there on the day They sold the cause for the queen And when the lights all went out We watched our lives on the screen I hate the ending myself But it started with an alright scene"
"It was the roar of the crowd That gave me heartache to sing It was a lie when they smiled And said, you won't feel a thing And as we ran from the cops We laughed so hard it would sting"
Sun and Moon were never given a chance to prevent this. They were always doomed from the start. When tragedy struck, they could only stand back and watch as decisions were made for them, as their very life was tossed around in conversation like it meant nothing. So they took matters into their own hands, and decided to flip the script.
The outcome has been miserable, but the beginning â their life before that point â was wonderful. It was home.
There's more that has to do with the lyrics further down, but you'll have to wait for the explanation on that until more has been revealed.
Dead Come Talking
Ohhh this one gets me Emotional every time. I can't say too much about it because this song and the one after it are both entirely about Sun and Moon's personal hardships, of which have not yet been properly addressed or revealed in the fic. I will say that the haunting they've forced upon the counselors is a shared experience, something they've personally been enduring for years, already. Sun and Moon are haunted by their past, by their grief, and in that way they themselves are the ghosts haunting the campgrounds.
Spring Break 1899
This is it. This is the most important song on the playlist. This is the song that plays at the end of Act 3. The song that plays when Sun takes in all that he's done, when the carnage sits before him and he's made to face every wrongdoing, every decision and path that has brought him to this point, and come to terms with whether or not he still wants to continue. Whether he has the strength to continue. This is the song that plays when he makes one final choice.
Echoes
The aftermath.
Do you perhaps... have a playlist for dftr?
As a matter of fact, I do đ
It's a little on the short side at 2 hours because I am very specific with what songs get put on my au playlists, but that means each and every song has been picked with purpose (and I'm still adding more every day).
Also â you're right on the money with that song choice, anon. I don't want to spoil anything, but let's just say it'll soon be very relevant.
#DFtR au#please know that as we get into these next final chapters#you're going to start seeing them named after these songs#and you will learn what the song is referring to#and when that time comes I hope you'll be crying along with me
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âSparks Fly in Monaco...â
âIf you go Back to December...â
I see Jack Nicholls has taken the Speak Now (Taylorâs Version) announcement extremely wellÂ
#again someone please ask him what his favourite album is#(I know I am likely reaching but it would not be the first lyric reference he's made in comms đ)#FE Liveblog#Jack Nicholls
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take a ride with me
*18+ MDNI*
word count: 2k
pairing: non!idol au, biker!ningning x fem!reader (she/her pronouns used, referred to as a girl)
warnings: fingering, clit slapping (like once), degradation, praise, orgasm denial, temp play? (cold ass rings, itâs cold outside ig), mild exhibitionism? (thereâs nobody there but yall are fucking outside lol)
based off of a lyric from this song;
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1 am gas station snack runs have become a pretty regular routine for you, the reason being so youâd hopefully get the chance to see the hot biker girl youâd seen the first time you went. you always did, sheâd always pull into the parking lot when you were finishing checking out, diverting your attention from the cashier asking if you needed a receipt or not while you instead decided to check out something- someone- much more intriguing. there she was, as per usual. black denim clad legs and a leather jacket that made your head reel, removing her helmet with effortless grace that let her now helmet disheveled hair cascade over her shoulders.
the sound of the cashier clearing their throat snapped you out of your shameless staring.
âdo you need a receipt or not?â the bored voice asked you dryly
âuh- no. thanksâ you respond a little embarassed at having been so lost in your head while you stared at the girl outside. you grabbed your things and made your way to the door to leave, the cool night air immediately brushing over you skin causing you to shiver. you were starting to walk past the girl to go back in the direction of your house when you heard an unfamiliar voice speak to you.
âso when are you actually going to talk to me instead of ogling me from afar like a creep and i pretend i donât notice?â
shit
âw-what?â you asked, stuttering in disbelief now turning to look at the source of the voice- it was her. of course it was. could your luck get any worse?
she crossed her arms over her chest and looked at you with a raised eyebrow. amusement? written all over her face. âyou heard meâ she said simply, a small smirk ok her lips now.
âi- iâm sorry for staring at you and making you uncomfortable.â you responded, white hot shame flowing through your veins while you apologized to her and turned around again to walk back home, but a hand wrapping around your wrist stopped your motions.
âi never said i was uncomfortable, you know. itâs not everyday when itâs a girl checking you out instead of some creepy old manâ she was laughing a bit when she said that, amusement not made clear upon seeing your embarrassed response to her presence and her questioning.
âhow about we start over, iâm ning yizhuo. you are?â she held her hand out for you to shake, you did after a moments hesitation. her skin was soft.
ây/n y/l/n.â you spoke shyly when you met her intimidating gaze.
ây/n, huh? well, how would you like to take a ride with me?â she asked reaching to pull a spare helmet from her bag and holding it out to you expectantly.
this couldnât be happening right now
âiâd love to!â you answered all too quickly taking the helmet from her hands, holding it to close to your frame.
âgreat, hop on.â her tone was so husky and sultry, the invite hanging in the air while she got back onto her bike, legs straddling both sides of it while her feet were planted to the cement. oh how you wished you could be a bike right now. you blink back your thoughts and carefully get on behind her, trying not to touch her at all. she smelled so good, like strawberries.
a silence hung in the air for a few moments while you both slipped on your helmets.
âyou better put your arms around me unless you wanna wipeout in the roadâ she warned you, you hesitated again before doing as she said feeling your face grow hot under your helmet. she drove out of the parking lot at a reasonable speed, you felt okay with the loose grip you had around her waist.. until she unexpectedly sped up, causing you to yelp in surprise and the grip your arms had on her became a lot tighter. she definitely did that on purpose.
something about riding with her was so exhilarating, the speed made it feel as though the world was dissipating into the background of the night before your very eyes. you felt a lot more comfortable the longer you rode, and the extreme tight grip you had on her loosened up a bit. you lost track of how long you were going for until she pulled into a seemingly abandoned lot and came to a stop. you both got off the bike and removed your helmets.
âwhere are we?â you asked her.
âmy favorite spot, you can see the stars so clearly here. iâve always wanted to bring someone to see it with me, and iâm very glad it got to be someone as pretty as you.â she said with a whisper of a smirk playing at her lips.
you could feel it was weird how you were just silently gawking at her, but who could blame you? that disheveled hair and ever so slightly smug face drove you insane.
âyou still with me?â she asked playfully, pointing out your lack of response to her comment
âuh- yeah. yeah- im still hereâ you struggled out, trying to snap yourself out of the trance you were in staring at her.
the skin of her hand making contact with your cheek sent shockwaves through your body, the contrast of the softness and the rough callouses that littered them was a sensation you knew you could get addicted to.
âyouâre always staring at me like i donât know exactly whatâs going on in that pretty little head of yoursâ her voice was smooth and sultry while she spoke ever so quietly to you, despite the absence of people present.
â..what do you mean?â you whispered back, despite knowing damn well exactly what she was referring to.
âoh donât act clueless on me now, iâve felt you eyefucking me every time i was at the gas station, or even when we were riding, and even now. if you want me all you need to do is say itâ she challenged, leaning closer and closer to you with each word.
âi.. i want you.â you whispered.
she swiftly pinned you up against her motorcycle and laughed lightly at that.
âgood girl.. see? that wasnât so hard.â she spoke lowly, face merely centimetres away from yours, her eyes scanned your face like a predator watches its prey, before finally connecting your lips together.
your bones felt as if they melted from her touch, unable to stand on your own when she lifted you up a bit so you were now sat on her bike while you kissed at a feverish pace. her hands gently tracing the skin just under the hem of your shirt, brushing lightly against your waist. the feeling of the cool rings that adorned her fingers on your skin sent your head reeling.
âcan i take this off?â she asked, lightly tugging at the hem of your shirt, you nodded, unable to respond as you felt her lift your top off.
âgod, so prettyâ she mumbled to herself, placing a soft kiss to the swell of your breasts. soft pleasured sighs falling from between your lips at the feeling of her gentle touch on your skin as you felt her lips move lower, taking a nipple into her mouth and sucking lightly, pinching the other between her fingers. your back arched into her touch, sighs now turning into moans. the way you fell apart from the simplest of touches fueling her ego evidently.
âmm such a good girl for me, wanna ruin youâ she spoke lowly, peering up at you through hooded eyes. you could do nothing but moan in response to her, while her hands made quick work of roughly tugging your pants off. the cold air on your skin in contrast of the heat she was causing in your body made you feel like you were losing your mind.
âwanna eat this pretty pussy.. gonna let me?â she asked while placing gentle kisses and bites along your inner thighs, marking you up just for her.
âplease-â you whined, trying to buck your hips closer to her mouth which made her laugh breathlessly.
âso needy..â she mumbled, kissing your pussy over your panties before moving them to the side and out of her way. she hummed, satisfied at the wetness of you, the way your juices glistened faintly in the moonlight. all because of her. her fingers spread your lips apart while she licked a long stripe along your dripping hole, fighting back a smirk at the sound of your loud moan and how your body instinctively tried to move away from her but having no where to go. she hummed contentedly into your pussy, satisfied with how you tasted.
her lips wrapped around your clit, sucking it harshly. you felt almost embarrassed by how wet you were for her, dripping all over the leather seat of her bike making quite a mess for her. 1 of her hands laid on your thigh to hold you down and spread your legs apart for her while she buried her head between your thighs, the cool metal of her rings digging into your flesh. she lapped you up like you were the only food source left on earth, drinking in any drop of essence you gave her while she gingerly slipped a finger inside of your needy hole, instead of having it clenching around nothing it now clenched onto her finger.
âfuck, look at you sucking me right inâ she groaned, releasing your clit from her mouth causing you to whine at the loss of contact. âis my pretty girl gonna cum on my fingers?â she asked in that cocky, teasing voice you were becoming obsessed with.
âplease- wanna cum-â you whined desperately, trying to convince her to fuck you with her fingers at a faster pace. you only whined in dissatisfaction when you felt her finger slide out of you while she laid a harsh slap to your clit that made you scream.
ânot yet, not until i tell you that you can cum. understand?â she asked sternly.
âyes- i understand.. just please- please fuck meâ you moaned like a needy bitch. to be fair, you were.
âgood girlâ she returned her finger back to its place, adding another in while she fucked your hole roughly, eyes glued to how your pussy would suck them in more and more with each thrust she made. she toyed around with the pacing a bit, knowing how close you were teetering over the edge of your orgasm. you were desperate for it, bucking your hips in attempt to make her make you cum, but she made it obvious that she was the 1 in control here, denying you of your orgasm over and over again. she kissed your clit and peered up at you again.
âyou wanna cum?â she asked you, and you nodded desperately in response.
âno. beg. use your words. do you want to cum?â she asked you sternly
âyes! please yes i want to cum- please let me cum!â you pleaded with her desperately, and that smug smirk broke out across her face at your desperate pleas.
âcum for me, cum all over my fingersâ she whispered, before sucking harshly on your clit again, and you did just that, cumming so hard you swore you were seeing stars.. but not those that were in the sky. she helped you ride out that orgasm as long as she could, before finally coming to a stop and carefully slipping her fingers out of your dripping hole, happily sucking the cum off of them with no hesitation.
âyou okay?â she asked coming up from between your thighs to look at your face close up, cradling it gently in her hands as she assessed your current state.
âyeah.. iâm okayâ you said, breathing heavily when you finally felt yourself coming back to reality, her thumbs gently brushing over the skin on your cheeks
âdid so good for me, looked so pretty cumming on my handâ she praised you while gently comforting you, grabbing a clean old tee from her bag to wipe your skin and the seat clean of your cum, laying a gentle kiss to your lips.
âyou should ride with me more oftenâ she suggested, sending you a more playful smile.
âyeah.. i shouldâ you said, imagining something like this happening again if you did.
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not edited, if thereâs any spelling mistakes etc lmk!
#ningning x reader#ningning x fem!reader#ningning x reader smut#ningning x fem!reader smut#aespa x reader#aespa x reader smut#ning yizhuo x reader#ning yizhuo x reader smut
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But It's Not Time (Levi x Reader)
Summary: After getting injured during a scouting mission, you are trapped in a tree to await rescue. Thankfully, you're not alone because your captain, old friend and the object of your affection, Levi Ackerman is there to help you until backup arrives. But as time goes on and your state worsens, you two start to worry whether or not you will make it. (Gender-Neutral Reader) Word Count: 2,915 Warnings: Talk of Injuries and Blood. Angst. No Y/N. A/N: Guess what fandom I added to the list of stuff I write for! You'll never guess, I bet! No, but in all seriousness, I added AOT/SNK to the lists of fandoms I write for, so feel free to request something for that fandom, as well. I'll write it as long as it's for adult characters and you adhere to my 'What I Will Not Write' list. The lyrics at the beginning of this are from the song "The Gambler" by Fun which is one of my favourite songs and fits so well. I really hope this isn't OOC by the way because it is one of my first times writing for Levi.
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You swore youâd be here âtil we decide that itâs our time
Well itâs not time, youâve never quit in all your life
So just take my hand, you know that I will never leave your side
---
âYouâre lying to me.â
You looked up at Levi, ignoring the pain in your leg, the way your wet clothes clung to you and how cold you were from the storm around you. He looked back at you, still standing on the branch of the tree you had been hiding on for the past hour. Your pained expression and slight shivering must have alerted him to the fact that you were not as fine as youâd told him you were.
âWhat do you mean?â
âAre you injured?â Levi asked sternly, looking down at where you were sitting against the trunk of the tree. âDo not lie to me.â
âI told you. I think I twisted my ankle.â You lied, shaking your head dismissively. âIâll be alright. What we need to worry about now is looking out for titans and for other Scouting Legion Members that could help us get back to base.â
âI am your squad leader and as such I would like to know the truth.â He said but when you just averted your eyes withtout answering he decided to change his tactics. âBesides being your squad leader, I am also your friend, arenât I? You always refer to me as such. Shouldnât you be honest with your friends?â
He was right and you knew it. You two had been friends for years, had gone through the hardest of battles together and had only grown closer as a result. And it wouldâve been a lie to deny that your feelings had grown past those of friendship in the last few months. You couldnât lie to your friends, to the man you cherished and had fallen for. Besides that, the pain in your leg was also getting worse and you decided to tell him the truth.
âI-- I think that I actually hurt my leg quite-- quite badly while falling down from my horse. And Iâm sure Iâve made it worse by-- by jumping up and trying to go after my horse. The straps of my maneuver gear are pressing on it though, so-- so I should be fine.â
âAnd why would you not tell me?â
âI didnât want to worry you. I donât think the bleeding is that bad and as I said, the strap is applying pressure.â
âYou not telling me is much more worrying.â He said sternly though you heard the worry seeping into his voice. âIf you are injured, Iâd like to know.â
âI thought that weâd be found quicker.â You sighed as you leaned your head back against the tree. âWe had so much else to worry about that I didnât want to add to that when I thought weâd be back at our base within no time.â
âNext time, donât worry about worrying me and tell me if youâre injured.â Levi said before he knelt down in front of you. âMay I have a look?â
âI guess that would be a good idea.â
You slowly reached down and tried to roll up the leg of your pants but found that with how it was sticking to you after the rain had gotten it wet it was almost impossible. So you ripped it open, flinching at the shoot of pain it sent up your whole leg. When you saw the wound for the first time you gasped. There are a huge cut stretching upwards from above your knee to just underneath the valley of your hips. Now without the added pressure of the straps, the blood was pouring out more freely.
âIâm going to bleed out, arenât I?â
âI wonât let you.â Levi promised and looked around before shaking his head in desperation. âI need something to stop the bleeding with.â
You swallowed thickly, tears welling up in your eyes. If Levi was this concerned, things must have been more serious than you had initially thought. Fear gripped ahold of you again and you had to take several deep breaths to not cry. But Levi had noticed, observant as ever. He turned back to you, eyebrows furrowed.
âWhatâs wrong?â
You swallowed against the lump in your throat but a few tears still rolled down your cheeks. âIâm sorry, itâs just that if youâre this worried I-- I must be pretty bad off, right? This situation must be more-- more hopeless than I previously thought.â
He looked at you for a few seconds as if contemplating on what to do before he knelt next to you and put a comforting hand on your arm. âI will do whatever I can to get you back to base safely.â
âThank you, Captain.â
âNo formalities. Iâm not your captain now. Iâm your friend whoâd like to get you back to base safely.â To his shock, you started crying at his words and he inched closer, looking you over in a slight panic. âWhat did I do wrong? Did I say somthing?â
âThank you so much.â You sobbed out quietly, wiping at your teary eyes. âWhen I hid by the base of the tree I thought I was going to die but you saved me and now youâre still saving me. Thank you, Levi.â
âOf course I am.â Levi said softly, giving you a stern look. âI am your friend. Now let me think of how to stop the bleeding.â
About ten minutes later saw Levi provisionally applying a turnequette fashioned out of the straps of your gear and you trying not to make any noises while he did so. When he was finally done you looked up and gave him a thankful smile. It was getting harder and harder to not slur your speech or slump fruther down on the branch.
âThank you.â You whispered and looked down, noticing your bleeding hand. âI must have bitten it pretty hard when-- while trying not to make any noise. But itâs-- but thatâs nothing to worry about.â
âYour speech is slurring.â He pointed out and sat down next to you. âYou have to stay away, alright? Help is on the way.â
âHow-- how do you know that?â You slurred, trying to focus on Levi but it was getting increasingly harder to focus on anything and to keep your head clear. âI get that youâre smart and-- and a good soldier and-- but youâre not-- How do you know?â
Levi raised an eyebrow in concern and inched closer to you. âI sent out a flair earlier. Green for an injured and lost soldier. Donât you remember?â
âGreen.â You nodded thoughtfully. âYes, green.â
âYou know if Hanji was here sheâd laugh at you slurring your words.â Levi remarked softly as he looked back at you. âYou sound so thoughtful when you talk about the colour green.â
âItâs a pretty colour.â You retorted, pushing yourself up to sit a little straighter. âCan I-- Is it okay if I take a little-- if I just close my eyes for ten minutes?â
âNo.â
âFive minutes?â
âNo, you have to stay awake.â Levi urged and shook his head, fishing around in the little bag the horse had dropped earlier as it had taken off, pulling out a little flask. âHere, have a drink.â
âIs this the time for alcohol?â
âItâs water, you moron.â
You chuckled at his insult before a smile overtook your face. âI like that more. I donât like it when youâre-- when youâre too nice and soft. Makes me wonder if-- if Iâm hallucinating. Doesnât matter that Iâm injured. Just insult me.â
Levi gave a dry laugh at that and then tipped your head back, gently helping you drink some of the water. You drank half of the flask before pulling back and looking at him. Levi gave you a questioning look.
âYou need to-- you need water, too.â
âItâs raining. I can just collect more water.â Levi reasoned before holding the flask to your lips again. âYouâve lost a lot of blood. You need to drink.â
âAlright.â You nodded and let him help you take another sip before he leaned you back against the tree trunk while you smiled up at him. âThank you.â
âNo need to thank me. How are you feeling?â
âCold and wet and hurt.â
Levi looked at you for a few seconds before he shrugged off his cape and draped it over your shoulders. You tried to wave it off, not wanting him to be cold, but he grapped your hand, holding it to stop you from taking the cape off.
âTake it. The cold will only make you feel worse.â
It was ironic because you had longed for this sort of gesture from Levi for years, your feelings for him only getting stronger every time you spoke to him. You two were friends and you knew that yet this gesture would have delighted you had you not been in such a dire situation. Knowing that Levi would probably not feel the same either way you shoved your thoughts away, instead giving him a small smile as you pulled the cape close around your body.
âThank you. You know, Iâm really glad youâre my friend.â
âLikewise.â
A smile tore your face and you leaned back to watch Levi scout out your surroundings, then cursing under his breath as he still saw no other soldiers coming. You hoped they werenât waiting out the storm before they came to your rescue. Levi seemed to notice your worry and sat down next to you, turning his head to face you.
âYouâre going to be fine, I promise. All you have to do is be quiet and stay awake. The others will find us soon.â
âI hope so.â You whispered, tears brimming at your eyes. âMy-- my little brother is in-- Heâs also in the Survey Corps and I canât leave him alone.â
âI know.â Levi said and inched closer to you. âAnd you wonât. Iâm sure right now he is safe with the others and in due time, you will see him again. We just have to wait a little longer.â
You swallowed then and turned to Levi, pulling out a small silver locket. âMy father gave it to me for-- for my sixteenth birthday all those years ago. And-- Well, should I not make it--â
âNo.â
âWould you give it to my brother?â You mumbled out, tears running down your cheeks. âItâs not worth a whole lot but Iâm sure he could use it-- Heâll find a use for it.â
âI wonât give it to him.â Levi said sternly. âYouâll be able to do that yourself. Because I will get you back to base safely.â
âWeâre running out of time, Levi.â More tears cascaded down your face as you slowly leaned into Leviâs shoulder, exhausiton and the need for comfort overtaking any restraints you had about being so close to him. âIâm bleeding so much. Iâll never make it.â
âYou will. Just keep your eyes open.â
âItâs so hard to-- Iâm so exhausted and--â You paused, taking a deep breath and looking up at Levi. âCan you slap me across the face or-- or something? I need something to keep me conscious.â
âYou want me to slap you?â
âUnless you-- you have a better idea to keep me from passing out.â
Levi was quiet for a few seconds and drew back a bit, making you raise from his shoulder. You expected him to slap you or shake you to keep you conscious. His hand came close to your face but instead of doing anything you had asked for he cupped your cheek and before you could question what he was planning he pressed his lips to yours, his eyes closing.
Your eyes grew wide in shock and you felt more awake than you had been in the past hour. But you quickly reciprocated, eyes fluttering shut as you leaned in to your best ability with you still being injured. He held your face gently, thumb rubbing your cheek as he gently leaned you back againt the tree with his free hand. A bolt of lightning struck a nearby tree and despite you trying to chase after his lips Levi pulled back from the kiss.
âI told you to keep your eyes open.â
Blinking back at him, you gave him a soft smile. âI thought youâd make an exception for me just this once.â
âNot when youâre this injured.â He said sternly, leaning closer again. âDo you feel more awake now?â
âDefintely.â
âGood because Iâm going to climb a bit higher to get a better view and see if anyone is approaching, yet.â He said but before he stood he ran his hand along your cheek once more. âHang on for me until Iâm back.â
Before you could answer, he was gone, using his gear to get to a higher branch and dissapearing between the leaves. His absensce gave you a much needed chance to think. You had long since come to terms your feelings for Levi but he had never shown you any interest beyond being friends with you, so you had accepted that your feelings would remain unreciprocated. But now you wondered whether or not he felt the same way or if heâd simply kissed you to keep you from passing out.
âI see horses approaching!â
You nearly jumped out of your own skin when Levi landed in front of you, hair once again drenched from the rain as he knelt down by your side. With help approaching you wondered when youâd again get the chance to talk about what the kiss had meant, so you gathered all your courage and decided to ask him.
âLevi, may I ask you something?â
âThis is not the time. We have to get you to safely first.â He said, standing and getting beside you before he grabbed you underneath the arms and helped you stand. âWhatever you want to ask it can wait.â
You quieted down at that, partially because you knew he was right to want to concentrate on getting to safety first and partially because of your pain skyrocketing at having to stand up. Despite trying to keep your pain hidden Levi once more saw right through you and hoisted your arm over his shoulders to support you. Exhausted and in pain you leaned your head against him and Levi let you.
âI will get you to safety, I promise.â
---
âHow are you feeling?â
You looked away from watching the rain outside the window of the small castle this expedition had set up camp in to face Levi. He was standing in the doorway to the small medical bay you were currently staying at after you had been treated. You pushed yourself into a sitting position to get a better look at Levi and when you saw is worried expression youhave him a soft smile, hoping to reassure him.
âIâm alright. I had to get stitches on my leg but Iâm alright now, still in pain but no longer in danger of bleeding to death.â
âWhile itâs not good that youâre in pain Iâm glad youâre in a stable condition.â Levi said, coming closer to your bed and resting his hands on the board at the foot of it. âYou had me worried about you.â
A surprise chuckle left your mouth at that confession. âYou were worried about me?â
âYou were injured, bleeding profusely and far away from basecamp. Of course, I was worried about you.â Levi said sternly, frowning at your reaction. âIs it that hard to believe that I worry about you? You are my friend, after all.â
His words made you stall because it reminded you of how you still wanted to know what the kiss youâd shared had meant and if he also felt more for you than friendship. âLevi, may I ask you something? The thing I wanted to ask you about before?â
âDoes it happen to have anything to do with me kissing you?â
âYes.â You nodded, swallowing nervously before speaking up again, gathering all your courage to confess to him. âIâm aware that you might have simply kissed me to keep me from passing out but I want to be honest about my feelings for you just on the offchance that you feel the same. Iâm in love with you and I have been for a while now. You probably donât feel the same and--â
Having apparently had enough of your rambling Levi decided to stop you and he did so by once more pressing his lips to yours. But before you could even react or let alone reciprocate he pulled back again, eyes locking with yours.
âI apologise but I had to make you stop talking before you got it all wrong.â Levi said and at your slightly confused epxression he sat down on the foot of your bed. âI was unsure of whether or not I was really in love with you but I think the prospect of losing you today made me realise what these feelings really were.â
âYou feel the same?â
âIâm in love with you.â Levi said before he reached out to gently push you back against the pillow. âBut now you need to rest so you wonât hurt yourself even more. Can you do that for me?â
âI can.â
Levi gave you a small smile before standing back up and nodding his head toward the door. âI have to report back to Erwin now but I will check in on you afterwards, I promise.â
âLevi, just one more thing before you leave?â âWhat do you need?â
âWould you kiss me again?â
âOf course.â
#i hope this isn't OOC and if it is please do forgive me#fanfiction#textpost#writing#attack on titan#aot#shingeki no kyojin#snk#attack on titan x reader#shingeki no kyoujin x reader#levi x reader#levi imagine#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackerman imagine#my writing
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rambling about songs my brain associates with isat (pt. 1)
[woe, spoilers be upon ye!]
i have a 250+ song isat playlist. I am unhealthily obsessed with finding new songs to put in it. Here's a few that make me go absolutely batshit insane.
I've already rambled about this one on my art account a while back, but this song is so insanely loop-coded....
I'm standing on a stage Of fear and self-doubt It's a hollow play, But they'll clap anyway
You could give me any song that has some kind of reference to plays or theatre and I could probably find a way to make it about isat. but specifically this makes me think about twohats and how loop views their place in the world as a performance, a pawn, not even a character but a plot device... yeah
I'm living in an age That calls darkness light Though my language is dead Still the shapes fill my head I'm living in an age Whose name I don't know Though the fear keeps me moving, Still my heart beats so slow
I probably don't have to break this one down for you, but yeah, Island North of Vaugarde, the forgotten language... "still the shapes fill my head" has always in my mind referenced the stars and constellations, and how they're familiar but foreign...
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thanks to @/ricecaqes and their trust ceremony animatic, this song lives in my head rent free. Even just as a whole this song is SO isat for me. literally from the first fucking lines:
Will I know when Iâve gone too far? Or frozen myself in time? An impossible brain with impossible wants Lost and astray, with impossible thoughts
like. it really can't get much more nail on the head than that?
then you got this:
So cold, Iâm freezing Every piece of praise and sign that Iâm believed in Solid in a crystal ball It bends the waves of the light to mend the rest of my life
and literally the first time I heard this song i paused it and said, out loud, "OH FUCK." Because. it's act 5 siffrin. Like, the slow descent into despair followed by the determination that the only way to perserve the life and the family they love is to keep them with him, to do the exact same thing the king did...
Do you also see your future starting with the farthest part? Live your life to close the space between the end and start And when itâs hard, do you hang onto any chance That you might be in control? That youâre the one who owns
For one, once you reach the end of act 2, you're constantly aware of the head housemaiden being as far as you can go, and then you're planning around it the entire time.
And then, you have. siffrin grasping for any kind of control they can have over the situation, desperately. and failing repeatedly because they simultaneously think that they are undeserving of getting what they ultimately want... yeah...
i won't go into the rest of the lyrics because honestly it's pretty well covered by the animatic but. yeah trust ceremony my sweet beloved.
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rest in peace siffrin no middle no last name, you would have loved the mountain goats.
yeah uh. this one is also pretty high up on songs that make me go "damn that's siffrin alright".
I am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam And no one in her right mind would make my home her home My heart's an autoclave
i think for me it's the idea of siffrin feeling like they're nothing, and even if they are something or someone, they are bad, worse than bad, worthless. also referencing homesickness.... yeah...
When I try to open up to you I get completely lost Houses swallowed by the earth, windows thick with frost And I reach deep down within, but the pathways twist and turn And there's no light anywhere, and nothing left to burn
I mean, this one is also pretty self-evident. siffrin losing hope while being stuck in the house... wanting to connect with the party but being completely uncapable of doing so out of the sheer terror of being left behind... act 5, with the house literally warping...
I dreamt that I was perched atop a throne of human skulls On a cliff above the ocean, howling wind and shrieking seagulls And the dream went on forever, one single static frame Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name
siffrin feels responsible for the loops, every aspect of them. their deaths, their party-member's deaths, their failures, everything. and in the end, all they really wanted was for someone to truly see them? to have a family, to not be left behind and forgotten by the world.... the importance of names and siffrin's name in particular in the story also makes this hit home for me.
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for brevity's sake i'll just start with these three- if people are interested in hearing me justify my insane music choices i'll probably do more.... for now, see ya!
#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#rambling#brain dump#playlist#i love music#im so normal about it!#<- makes playlists for every conceivable circumstance#Spotify
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Song Analysis - Children of the City
Part 0 - My Ramblings, or Whatever
Hello everyone, my name is Honret, and today I am going to be doing the long-awaited Children of the City analysis that I have been teasing for far too long.
Of course, this isn't my first rodeo with song analysis. I've analyzed quite a lot of mili songs on r/mili, over on Reddit. So why am I doing this on tumblr? Partially for reach/exposure (r/mili is tiny,) and partially because I'm liking using Reddit less and less every day.
If people like this post, I might do more, or even repost my old analysis pieces on r/mili over here so they can be archived in a neater way.
Anyway, let us get on to the actual song. This analysis will contain spoilers for Library of Ruina.
Part 1 - Analysis of the Lyrics
This song is arguably rather short in terms of number of lyrics for a mili song, so let's get right into it.
Also, to get this out of the way immediately, this is a Character Song for Yan Vismok from Library of Ruina. If you're reading this, you probably already know that, but if not then it is very important information to know.
Sleep for a total of eight-hundred hours per day And drink a liter of milk Warm-up before you go play
Immediately, this beginning part seems to be almost satirizing the nature of the Prescripts. Obviously, sleeping for 800 hours in a day isn't possible, and drinking an entire liter of milk is uncomfortable for most, but they feel like things a Prescript would order someone to do. After all, they frequently demand impossible and seemingly random actions from the recipient.
Only eat or write Or pull the trigger with your right hand Only thing that's left Is to work on following commands
This next section seems to be referencing the suppression of left-handed people in the past, and relating that to the oppressive nature of the Prescripts. They order you to do uncomfortable things you might not be skilled at, just like a left-handed person may have been ordered to eat or write with their right hand.
The second half ties it back into the main theme by making it about following commands. The people who follow the Prescripts are, in a way, constantly being commanded to do things, with the fear of death if they don't follow. In that way, they're constantly being trained to unquestioningly obey a higher power, just as left-handed people were made to obey the command to be right-handed.
(This part also makes me headcanon Yan as a leftie)
By the time you realize You'll be restrained to a desk And with your dreams on the floor, you comply Eyes chained to the test Find a groom or bride, bonus if brunette In ninety hours, spill their insides Paint your room picturesque
This section is long, so like the last part, I'll split it into two halves.
The first part seems to broadly reference life in The City itself. By the time you've realized you're being trained to follow random commands, you're already figuratively tied to a desk, your only option to comply further with the commands due to having already given up so much.
Yan himself seems to have given up a lot to the Prescripts. Its heavily implied he's killed loved ones, and done other horrible things just for the Prescripts, with his only reward being to become the Messenger who delivers Prescripts to others just like him.
With his dreams figuratively on the floor due to the Prescripts, all he can do is comply.
The next lines seem to continue to drive in the ludicrous nature of the Prescripts. Finding someone to marry within ninety hours is a tall order, especially if you're encouraged to focus on just brunettes. And of course, the typically-violent nature of the Prescripts is also brought up, with the next command in this sequence being to kill the very person you just married. Its also a massive tonal shift in the song.
Now it's time for another vendetta Going through the shelves, picking out my pre-written persona Children of the city sees only the neon stars Reflected upon the murky gutter sky Don't ask me why I desperately wish to be included in The City's night
The first line here might be referencing how Yan has picked up a lot of vendettas in his time delivering the Prescripts. Or at the very least, he feels like people hate him for delivering their Prescripts, just as he hates the Prescripts themselves. After that, the part about a pre-written persona seems to imply that Yan is never being his true self. All he can do to avoid the pain of what the Prescripts demand is to pretend to be someone else, a persona.
This next part is likely a metaphor, and one that I've still had trouble parsing. It could be implying that the "children of the city," which is likely those who work under the Index, or more broadly those who follow what The City desires, only see the bright neon stars, and not the dark murky gutters they're reflected in.
Finally, Yan says that he wishes to be included in The City's night, but he doesn't know why. This, to me, says that he has a secret desire to follow what The City wants of him, so that he may finally be included, rather than feel the same exclusion he's felt his entire life as a Messenger of the Index.
In four-hundred thousand meters, turn right
A nice little metaphor, comparing the Prescripts to a car's GPS system.
Pick up a knife and stab a familiar warm body Learned to fight before I knew love or bitterness of coffee Snippy scissors cut down the strings, I set myself free Only to figure out everything I chose was by proxy
The beginning of the second half of the song here seems to be implying that Yan has definitely killed people close to him before, almost definitely because the Prescripts ordered it. Furthermore, he has been doing this from a young age, as it was "before I knew love or coffee," which very much seems to be telling me he was young.
The next part of the song seems to focus on the events that led Yan to Distort. He forged Prescripts to cut himself free and establish his own free will, but everything he chose was "by proxy," as the real Prescripts told people to follow Yan's fake Prescripts. His betrayal was forseen and intended all along, and his will was never his own.
As we suckled upon the nine-millimeter pacifier Swallowing the fact that other than to expand, we had no purpose As my ever-burning will to stay afloat backfires I now know I must be comfortable Being who I considered worthless
I think the part at the start of this verse seems to be implying that suicide is a common thing among people in the Index. After all, when your will isn't your own for long enough, you may consider doing something drastic to get it back, or even just to rebel, such as committing suicide. There's also probably people who have been ordered to kill themselves by the Prescripts.
The next part is more about Yan in particular. His desire to stay afloat backfired, in the sense that the very act of clinging to his free will made it hurt him even more when he realized that his actions were all just controlled by the Prescripts, and by extension, The City. So in the end, the very people who he considered worthless, those who just follow orders like sheep without caring where they're from, are in fact just the same as him, even if he didn't realize.
Follow the city's ribbon To a heart nobody seems to listen It takes my heart being broken and broken again (Broken and broken again) To know that I am the reason why (The reason why) The sufferings never end
Yet again, let's take this from the top.
The first lines are probably referring to Yan finding the "God of The City" responsible for producing the Prescripts. After all, he was following a Prescript that led him straight there, and its a place that almost nobody else knows about.
The rest of this verse seems to be Yan talking about the pain he's felt delivering Prescripts. After all, he seems to blame himself for all the pain caused by people following the Prescripts he delivers as a Messenger, which is probably why he says that its partially his fault that the suffering in The City doesn't end.
It could also be referring to his own suffering. His internal struggle for free will, to prove that his actions are his own. Every time its disproven, his heart gets broken again. But in saying his will is his own, he's also saying that him delivering Prescripts that hurt people is his own decision.
This probably ties into why he's so willing to follow the voice telling him to Distort. Once he finally has confirmation that his will is just the will of the City, that its all determined by the Prescripts from the start, he can finally remove all the blame and pain that he's been pushing onto himself and just mindlessly follow the Prescripts.
Now it's time for another vendetta Going through the shelves, picking out my pre-written persona Children of the city sees only the neon stars Reflected upon the murky gutter sky Don't ask me why I desperately wish to be noticed by The City's eye
The only part of this chorus that is different from the first chorus is the final line. It seems to be saying that Yan wants The City to notice him, that he wants it to see his actions. Maybe he feels the The City noticing him would make all of his struggling worth it, or that it'd give his life some meaning.
Do not go home until you finish reading the value of e 2.71 8281 8284 5904 5235 3602 8747 1352 6624 9775 7247 0936 9995 9574 9669 6762
This part is referencing Euler's Number, which is an irrational number, meaning it never ends. The value of this number can never be read in its entirety.
He's never going home.
Part 2 - Summary
Children of the City seems to describe Yan's thoughts and struggles in his life, as he's followed the Prescripts to both his own detriment and the detriment of those around him.
Yan wants his own free will, wants his actions and destiny to be his own. But at the same time, this desire is constantly at odds with Yan's desire to not be at fault for all the pain and suffering he feels like he's caused as a Messenger of the Index, delivering the same painful Prescripts to people that he's been following his entire life.
In short, Yan is in pain. And when he finally gets confirmation that he has no will of his own, that its all the work of the random generations of The City, he finally Distorts into a form that mindlessly follows the Prescripts, feeling no guilt or pain over anything he does.
Part 3 - More of My Ramblings
I hope this analysis makes sense, and that I'm not just hallucinating these meanings to these lines. Yan is one of my favorite new characters in LoR, and I wanted to do him justice by analyzing his Character Song to prove that I am the true Yan Scholar.
If you do have feedback, I'd love to hear it. I want to fully understand this song, and by extension, Yan Vismok himself.
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(Final speculation before 163 comes up) Could the story really wrap up within 4 episodes if Kamiki isnât a god?
I donât think so;; There are too many things that can be explained with this way but make no sense if it's not. I'm serious. This must be it. This CAN explain EVERYTHING about that particular character quite smoothly!! To the extent it almost can't be otherwise!
Ahh I jotted this down on the spot (used machine translate.. Sorry if the phrasings are a bit off because if it) please, take this into consideration yeah I can be SO off, already proven off but?? This though just keeps coming to me.
Iâve made a lot of guesses about gods, havenât I? But no one really seems to take it so seriously.
But didnât they mention there are âgodsâ who donât know theyâre gods in the piece itself? Why bring that up? Theyâre going to use it, right? After hearing the lyrics of *Fatal*, I started to seriously think that Ruby and Kamiki actually have some kind of divine power.
For Kamiki⊠everything heâs done makes way more sense if we consider him to be the earthly god Sarutahiko Okami. It's just impossible for him to just be a regular person with this little time left in the story but if you take him as a reincarnation of that particular god that's started to reawaken his divinity, everything starts to click!!!
Sarutahiko is considered a "noble" god,
And the way he met Ai is really similar to how he met his wife, Ame-no-Uzume, leading to their marriage (his wife came to his domain as part of a mission, and he led the way, they developed feelings and connectedâthis parallels how Ai came to meet Kamiki while pursuing acting, with him having guided her. The descendants of the god Sarutahiko bear the name that means "woman who dances well" That's like Ruby). They fell in love immediately, just like Ai seems to have taken a liking to him from the moment she saw him. Ame-no-Uzume approached him first and the relationship blossomed from there.
Sarutahiko is also a god of light (Hikaru has âlightâ in his name, and âKamikiâ relates to gods).
He governs land (isnât it strange how people keep dying in the mountains?).
That shrine in Miyazaki where the main cast went to, Aratate Shrine, is dedicated to Sarutahiko and his wife, but they didnât mention Sarutahiko explicitly. Together, these gods bless the entertainment world and grant peopleâs wishes. Remember when Ruby and Kamiki met and that whole talk about gods and wishes? He listened to what she really wished for, and Kamiki also congratulated Aqua, saying his wish was fulfilled. All the wishes that were mentioned there, indeed, did come true. In *Mephisto*, the line âI forgot who I lived asâ refers to Kamiki, I'm sure of it. Heâs a god who didnât realize it but is now somewhat aware and using his power.
Aqua tried to drown him. Sarutahiko governs the earth, so it makes sense that Aqua, whoâs aligned with Susanoo (the sea god), would have an advantage over him in water. Thatâs why he could kill him that way.
Sarutahiko is also the âguiding god.â He leads people toward good futures, that's what he is supposed to do. So, if Aqua says, âI have to stop you from ruining Rubyâs future,â it makes sense that Kamiki, as Sarutahikoâs reincarnation, might actually have the power to affect her future.
In *Mephisto* and *Fatal*, thereâs a narrator desperately longing for a âstar,â with Ai being compared to a star and Kamiki to a gem. Gems are from the earth, and Sarutahiko is an earth god (Kunitsukami), while his wife Ame-no-Uzume belongs to the celestial gods (Amatsukami). This all fits perfectly, doesnât it? Kamiki wanted to reach Ai, and as the songs imply, he tried to gather "light" (the star eyes) as a means to do so. He couldn't get to her by his own powers because he doesn't originate from the skies the way she does, perhaps that could be why he needed the "stars" in order to "fill in what's missing" as mentioned in Fatal! As he originally blessed the entertainment world. Maybe heâs been going around finding people with star eyes to reclaim his blessings.
Actually, if we follow the mythology, Ruby is the one connected to Kamiki out of the twins. Sarutahikoâs essence is solar, and Amaterasu, who corresponds to Ruby, took over his place in the native religion. But even though Sarutahiko gave up his place, (getting married with Ame-no-Uzume in the process.. He did get a beautiful wife out of it all), heâs still honored as a powerful god with the title Okami. His story is more closely tied to Amaterasu and Ame-no-Uzume than to Susanoo. The three of them werenât on bad terms either. Sarutahiko ended up working with his wife for Amaterasu. So when Kamiki treated Ruby with kindness, maybe it was because they share a deep connection. To add, since they overlap in their domains, so perhaps Kamiki posed a threat to her because of that.
Sarutahiko was said to have a strong, loving relationship with his wife. When they blessed people, they did it together, even offering marriage blessings. The song Mephisto and Fatal just scream that the speaker cannot bear to go on without their loved one and they'd give their life away if only they could be back. I feel that's how Sarutahiko would feel if he lost Ame-no-Uzume, they seemed so loving towards each other to me.
Kamikiâs character really seems to make sense if you consider him a god. There are so many things that would instantly click into place. But if heâs not a god, I honestly have no idea who he is. Everything about him points to that conclusion. Both he and Ai were gods. It makes sense then, that it's Ruby and Kamiki who could say that Ai was just a regular person. Because they think they really are just normal people and wish to be taken that way the way Ai is. They're the ones who can talk from those same shoes.
In reality, they were gods who wanted to live as humans and chose to live as such. Kamiki constantly says that he and Ai were the same, and that they could have overcome anything together. Thatâs probably because, as gods, they were each otherâs counterparts, worshiped together at shrines. That's not just him being clingy, it REALLY was how things were. They were drawn to each other, unconsciously recognizing their similarities, and reunited as humans.
But after Aiâs death, Kamiki was fully corrupted, leading to his downfall.
Honestly, I canât interpret it any other way anymore. If not this, then I really donât know who Kamiki is. Too many unnatural things have happened surrounding him, and when you piece together the songs, it becomes clear: heâs a fallen god who lost someone precious and was consumed by darkness. This darkness probably didnât originate from him; something external caused his fall. Even the scene where his eyes changeâlike paint dripping from outsideâsuggests that something seeped in from the outside.
In the anime, Kamikiâs eye color is lighter and more washed-out compared to Aiâs vibrant purple. It really seems like his original eye color was different and was later tainted. He might have been a god of light with orange or yellow eyes. His childrenâs eye colors might have split because of his original bright color.
Ai, as Ame-no-Uzume, is a goddess of entertainment and the dawn. Her colors align with this. Even if her personality was a façade, she shares a lot of traits with Ame-no-Uzume. If she had grown up without trauma, she might have truly been like her. The âmorning/first star(in IDOL's lyric)â refers to the brightest star at dawn. If Ai is Ame-no-Uzume, and Kamiki is her husband, then their relationship with Ruby fits perfectly too. Even in the novel, Ai said she might become a god with her own religion.
I think this should be it. If not, nothing else would make sense. With only 4 episodes left, theyâll likely use this storyline to tie everything up. Otherwise, theyâd need a lot more episodes. But since thereâs an overarching mythology at play, I think theyâll be able to compress the narrative. No one could deny that these gods loved each other, and because Kamiki is falling into corruption, it'd make sense for there to be divine intervention- the resurrection of the twins. Ai wanted to experience true love, and she did find her match as Kamiki. She wouldnât have found anyone better because they are meant to be. She wanted to save him from the depravity of the entertainment world.
I wanted to write this down since there wonât be many more chances to talk about these theories.
Iâve been thinking this since *Fatal* came out in July. The more I watch, the more these ideas seem to fit perfectly. The thought only strengthened;; Kamiki and Ai are probably incarnations of gods. The entire Hoshino family is likely divine.
#oshi no ko#oshi no theories#hikaai#hikaru kamiki#ai hoshino#ruby hoshino#aqua hoshino#oshi no ko spoilers#spoilers#long post#this...just works REALLY WELL;;#and I have no idea what this'd be if it isn't at this point
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Oh my. Oh my fuckingâ
Okay, it cannot have escaped y'all that I am a giant Internet-native nerd of a certain age with a strong penchant for folk and a long entrenched fondness for earnest singing about history, and so of course I listened to a lot of Jonathan Coulton when I was in high school.
I seized with particular glee on "The Presidents" when he released it in 2006 because I take took AP American History extremely seriously, and it offers some very handy little mnemonics that help you remember who goes where. If you haven't heard it before, here's a link. Each president gets a little line with a cheeky reference to the most memorable thing from their presidency, ranging from "James Monroe told Europe they could suck it" to "Washington came first and he was perfect" to "Andrew Johnson just survived impeachment," and it's set to a jaunty and extremely memorable tune.
And of course I looked up the specific references. I get curious a lot, and like a lot of folk music fans, I've learned a lot about historical incidents by tracing lyrics back. But there was one line that always eluded me, and it haunted me a bit because it hinted that there might be a better candidate for "America's First Gay President" than that feckless wastrel Buchanan. I never found any other reference to it, but the President is a fairly recent one and eventually I wrote it off as a reference to some kind of contemporary scandal that was just a bit out of focus; I remembered the Monica Lewinsky thing ("Clinton gave an intern a cigar") and presumably it had been something like that. Occasionally I would look into it, but never very hard before I drifted on to other eras of history.
Friends, I figured it out tonight. I have ânearly twenty years into knowing and frequently whistling this songâI suddenly reached understanding.
The line is "Jimmy Carter lusted in his heart for peanuts."
All has become clear!
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first things first.
CHANYEOLâS FIRST SOLO ALBUM âBLACK OUTâ IS OUT. IT IS FINALLY OUT. FUCKING HELL, CAN YOU BELIEVE WEâVE WAITED FOR SO LONG AND NOW ITâS HERE AND ITâS BEAUTIFUL AND I AM SO PROUD OF CHANYEOL I HOPE WE GET TO SEE AND HEAR SO MUCH MORE FROM HIM IN THE FUTURE.
ok. now that thatâs out of my system, letâs talk about the mv for black out. in depth. hell yeah.
(on a side note, i really wanted to make a post like this for a long time. like, a long post where i put down thoughts in a kind of structured way, so yey i am excited, letâs go.)
first, i want to point out that personally, i appreciate a lot that the song has no gendered language (as far as i know. i am not fluent in korean tho, i am basing this on the english lyrics supplied with the video!), and in tune with that i will also use gender neutral language in this little analysis here. the only case i will use gendered language is when referring to chanyeol, who i will treat like an actor portraying the protagonist in this video. so when i say âchanyeolâ i mean the guy in the video and not the person park chanyeol â just for clarification. ok. now.
overall, to me, the mv feels a lot like a movie, or parts of a movie. it has amazing cinematography â the city at night, the bus ride, the scenes at the window of the apartment, the fish tank, the short scenes relating to boxing â that portrays the feelings around a breakup very beautifully. in the video, i see many symbols that represent specific situations and emotions and thatâs what i want to break down here a little bit.
the cassette tape is probably the most obvious of the symbols. the cassette he literally clings to, i think, represents the past relationship itself. is the very first scene he is sitting on a bus full of happy people, people that seem to be in a romantic relationship, that have fun and are laughing â he is alone and surrounded by love. he simply sits there, unmoving between people that are eagerly interacting with each other. he is still while everything else is moving on. but he has the cassette which he doesnât even listen to (notice how we never see him wearing the headphones he carries around his neck!).
he is not listening to the tape, just keeping it â the relationship might already be over, he is just holding on to the memories. he doesnât want to think about them (or else he would listen to the tape) but also doesnât want to lose and let go (thatâs why he's keeping it). and thatâs why he is very distressed when he loses the tape, why he holds on to it so hard. but in the end, it rips apart and that causes him so much hurt. it was so precious to him and tried to keep it so hard. itâs really painful and heart-breaking to watch.
the bus ride itself is very interesting because it starts out being a space chanyeol is⊠well, not exactly comfortable in. but itâs a place where he rests, where he sits and lets himself being carried along, unmoving object at a place where everything is moving a lot. he is, mentally, still very entangled in the relationship. thatâs why heâs still on top of that bus, alone with all the other people that are so happy and loved. he hasnât moved on yet. and he doesnât seem to want to.
until the moment we see the cassette on the ground. then we see him suddenly realizing that he lost it, like snapping out of a trance. he gets up, wants to get it but it falls out of his reach, the tape comes loose, and he tries to hold on to it so much. the moving bus suddenly becomes a trap, it moves too fast and the tape rips in the end. he canât go back to the relationship and the memories anymore because it has broken and itâs his fault in a way. maybe he stayed to long on the bus. maybe he realized it fell too late. maybe he acted too hastily. maybe he should have kept the cassette safe in a pocket so he wouldnât have lost it in the first place.
the scenes of him running aimlessly through the cityscape could just be mindless wandering to keep himself moving, but i like to believe that he is not so aimless in his running. i think he is looking for the lost tape. i think that in all the stillness he wants while he still is holding on to his memories, he feels utter restlessness after losing them. everything moves so fast, everything is loud (there even is a fucking plane), there are lights everywhere â he is afraid he wonât find the tape again in the vastness of the city. and maybe he doesnât.
for me, the scenes with blond chanyeol happen after the bus scenes. he is post-breakup chanyeol (because what do you do after a breakup? right, radically change your hair xD). thatâs the chanyeol we see in the apartment with the fishtank and the chanyeol we see boxing (well, kinda. we donât see too much of the actual boxing, but I think that will change once we get the mv for back again xD). itâs also the chanyeol who is looking at himself in a broken mirror.
mirrors and reflections are symbolically used to reveal the true self of a person, in chanyeolâs case thatâs someone who feels very broken inside.
something that really stood out to me was a shot of the fishtank where they filmed the tv in the background of the apartment through the water.
first and foremost, the shot through the water gives the whole scene a very whimsical feel, like looking into a dream world that chanyeol is escaping to from the harsh reality of his broken heart and the end of this relationship that he treasured so much. he is literally pushing his head into that world, into the water, where he canât breathe.
thatâs also a very desperate act of trying to feel alive, or like⊠anything at all. the same reason he resorts to a painful sport like boxing. the physical pain fills the emptiness that remains and overshadows the emotional numbness, fills the lack of emotion with pain he can control, instead of letting himself feel the emotional pain he canât control. (and on an important note: both actions are forms of self-harm and thatâs a very unhealthy coping mechanism, just⊠donât do it)
back to the fish tank. fish can symbolize change and adaptability, as fishes are animals that can survive even in challenging conditions. and that fits very well with the story of the mv as well. chanyeol still needs to figure out how to adapt and how to survive his life right now, but he will figure it out â just listen to the rest of the album, and especially back again! as this is the other song weâll have an mv too, and one that picks up on the boxing element that was introduced a bit, i treat it like what happens after the black out mv / the breakup.
back again is a crazy song!! itâs very lively, full of sounds and little details, of versatile voice use and a lot of energy! itâs him bouncing back again (see what I did there-), itâs when he is feeling better again and is confident to move forward again. and maybe heâs a bit more enthusiastic than he is actually healed and fails. but he has hope and takes moving on and coming back to life step by step.
musically, black out feels more like being torn apart from the inside. there is a lot of vulnerability in his voice while the beat is very restless when all we see chanyeol do is wanting to hold on for a moment but the beat and the melody, the song itself really, pull him along.
i also noticed to the colour schemes in the video. mainly we see a dark blue being used. in some moments, very prominently the scene where chanyeol looks at the goldfish in the tank, a warm orange is used as contrast.
it feels very comfortable and, well, warming within all the cold blues and greens, so that sort of underlines my interpretation of the fishtank scene(s). i also noted that in scenes from the apartment we see pink lights, usually contrasting a greenish blue light. neither of those are very warm lights and add more to the general vibe and atmosphere of the scenes, i think. one could argue though that pink could symbolize love, which is a pretty obvious although not happy theme of the story.
this mv has so much pain and regret and yearning and so so so much hurt. in all the soft spots. itâs dark and gloomy that make it feel almost brutally real. i like to draw a parallel to tomorrow here (and not only because the two mvs use similar a similar colour sceme, blue and orange), which is very still and very in the moment. itâs also dark and yearning but is gives these feelings room and holds a glimmer of hope. black out is not that calm. its darkness is hurrying the protagonist along, who just wants a moment to hold on and breath. but there is no room for feeling those feelings in black out, but there is no way to outrun the pain. or the hole in your heart thatâs left when you lost something you loved a lot.
[watch the mv here]
[listen to his album, including back again, here]
#chanyeol#exo#park chanyeol#loey#chanyeol black out#chanyeol solo album#exo chanyeol#pcy#kpop#kpop mv#exo mv#chanyeol mv#mv analysis#media analysis#music video analysis#random starchild noises#headphones on đ§
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âIn the Floodâ has two variations- The opening sequence version, and the one that plays in the credits, known as Lovisaâs version. This post here is covering Lovisaâs version specifically. I wonât be covering all of the lyrics, just the ones Iâm able to fully draw something from. While upon listening for the first time, they may seem similar, itâs worth mentioning that the tracks actually parallel each other. The opening sequence version seems to be more from Aloyâs perspective, focusing on how she has the weight of the world on her shoulders and how she has to handle everything herself. On the contrary, while there is quite a bit of discussion, I personally feel that Lovisaâs version is closer to Betaâs perspective, specifically her perspective close to the end of the game.
Unlike in the opening sequence version, Lovisaâs Version starts off calmer. Weâre met right away with a slower riff, unlike the one used in the opening sequence version. This riff is more somber in nature, in part due to the fact that itâs in a lower octave, and it has less going on. Weâre hit with the vocals pretty early, starting off at (0:07) with âMy hands are full of flowers, my ears are full of songs..â This is already a stark contrast to the opening cutscene version, as despite the somber undertones of the instrumental, the lyrics almost seem hopeful near the start. Theyâre far more positive, both in tone and in association. Tone wise, the lyrics are gentle, theyâre light. However, the association is whatâs interesting- flowers and songs are both things with generally positive associations.
(0:46) has the start of the chorus. âI am raindrops in the flood. I am emptiness, I am hopeâŠâ Whatâs interesting is that instead of how the chorus of the opening cutscene version has tones of doubt and uncertainty, this version is far more direct. Weâre still sticking with the raindrops in the flood analogy, but itâs more accepting than anything else.
What really caught my eye though, is the last part of the chorus âStay with me, in the flood..â so much of this track is close to a direct parallel to the opening credits version, but this line I feel is the most obvious proof of that. For reference, the opening credits version has the line âWho can take my hand in the flood?â It feels like a call for help in a sense. Comparing the two lines creates a unique parallel, as âStay with me, in the floodâ feels less like a desperate call for help, and more like a request.
At (1:28) we have âin dreams, I never left. I had courage like the beast. My eyes, they never fled. My arms would always reach.â This is one of three sets of lines that really cement my theory that this is from Betaâs perspective. These feel more like aspirations above anything else. A desire to be stronger. âMy voice is not that strong, when hurricanes come running from youâ comes later in this part at (1:51). Itâs a comparison, one that it would make sense that Beta would make. Of course, itâs metaphorical, but the point still stands. Itâs just a matter of wanting to be stronger.
Before the last chorus, at (3:11), weâre hit with what I think is one of the saddest lyrics in the track. âShould I have bent, been reshaped in your image? Is that what you want?â Itâs really leaning into the comparison aspect of the last paragraph, and it actually reminds me somewhat of the argument Aloy and Beta have before going to Cauldron: GEMINI, where Beta reveals that she needs to know what her âdefectâ is, and why she canât be like Aloy.
Overall, the lyrical tracks in this game are just stunning. While they may be harder to analyze fully, I feel the lyrics actually allow for them to be interpreted in a variety of different ways. I hope one day, Iâll truly be able to put my thoughts into words fully, as there is so much more I could say about this one, itâs just a matter of how to say it.
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THEORIES
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babe wake up tragic yaoi dropped *THIS ACCOUNT DOES NOT USUALLY POST ALNST FANTHEORIES. IF THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT THIS IS NOT THE PLACE. theories / commentary / spoilers under the cut
I don't know 100% ALNST lore... most of this is speculation I think some people have commented on this already but apparently the one in the couple who wears white dies (Sua, Ivan) Following this pattern, Hyuna x Luka's relationship is complicated but if we go by that Luka is dying next round... But the next round is Till vs Luka, which would be different from the pattern (Sua vs Mizi, Ivan vs Till)... so maybe to complete the pattern Hyuna puts herself in instead of Till. mom pick me up I'm scared On top of that, Ivan wore black before, but switched to white. Does this have to do with something... (Was Till supposed to die instead...) Luka and Hyuna evidently have VERY different singing styles though so that would be interesting def Also the characters look older (not only the haircut man... they're taller) so I wonder... how much time has passed in ALNST??? and is it proportional to irl time (probably not) Not sure about the other videos I need to check but this time there are human spectators amongst the aliens in the crowd for the first time??? is alnst so powerful that they want to watch the showdown too??? Till sounds like he's about to break poor bb Till's lyrics in the beginning start off hopeless, asking someone to hurt him. To dissolve and drown in someone, to become one with them. Definitely Mizi. When Till's master shoves his face towards the newspaper, he's probably telling him to snap out of it, sing properly and let go of Mizi??? Then Till gets his ahh beat and he reaches for Mizi, his one hope in the darkness "Icy lips" - he already thinks Mizi is dead??? Ivan's eyes look empty. interruption from mizisua sponsor /j Even though the MIZISUA video is more of a backstory video, it also suits Round 1. I think it might suit Ivantill as well hold on When Mizi and Sua found each other (refer to MIZISUA video), Sua has lost hope already, but Mizi's love gives her some hope in the dark. Then they are torn apart, but still want to be together. The one who lives (Mizi) is in grief. Ivan's empty eyes look like he has lost hope, just like Sua. Till gave him a reason to keep going (see: Black Sorrow, their relationship shown in Cure <- this video)
Back to the video Till laying there by himself, Ivan moves the (muzzle?) restriction, maybe to help him breathe Ivan's verse reflects Till's but it's different in multiple ways "Cold words" - Referring to Till? (well... till has always been naturally sassy...) Similar to Till's statement in the first part, Ivan is saying that Till can break him apart and build him back again (mend) I guess they fought and became friends đ "I'll drown in you" as well. Till would sacrifice himself for Mizi, Ivan would sacrifice himself for Till (CRIES) Ivan feels "seen" by Till, Till wants to dissolve in Mizi's gaze Why does he reach for the back of Till's neck? Till unawares (sleeping)? Are the two somewhat related? Ivan reaches for Till (love) but Till unaware (once again đ) Consume me + licking the blood from Till's wound. they really want to become one person don't they 2:46 Ivan turns away from the camera is he giving Till a kiss on the cheek or is he whispering something to Till in his sleep we'll never know
"We shall dance", with "our story". TOGETHER. THEY WANT TO BE TOGET- *gets shot* PLEASE LET THEM BE YAOI AGGHGH everlasting memory this moment will last forever THE KISS SCENE I WAS SO HAPPY AT FIRST AND THEN WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED I rewatched this video too many times the animation just too pretty man đ Till pushes him away I noticed this in a lot of promo arts and stuff because yk Mizi
okay back to the video Ivan's expression when he chokes Till kind of looks like him looking down at the camera like he did at the end of Black Sorrow am I reading too into this Till gives up. He doesn't even fight the choking. Normally this would be uncharacteristic but yk Mizi đđ I'm confused how Ivan gets hit??? I think it's bullets but who knows maybe the rain is possessed or maybe Ivan did it himself Like in Till's song (it's been confirmed by the creators that Till killed his enemy to win apparently), if the enemy is killed then you win. Ivan sacrificed himself so Till could win, so Till could live There was also a theory I read that Luka was pissing off Mizi so she would fight back, so she would continue living BUT LUKA IS A WHOLE OTHER STORY THIS ISN'T ABOUT LUKA WE'RE TALKING ABOUT IVANTILL At the end of MIZISUA video, Mizi wakes up crying in the rain. Till stands in the rain staring at Ivan's corpse (but we don't see the body) The light is focused on Ivan, not Till. The light of Ivan's life has been snuffed out, but it also leaves Till in darkness I was expecting Till to make some sort of movement once the lights turned off but nope omg Luka vs Till... Till is gonna kill his ahh for disrespecting Mizi đ THE OTHER YAOI DUO!! WHAT HAPPENED TO HYUNA BRO IS MAMA GONNA DIE WHO INTRUDED imagine if the intruder was luka that would be so funny also there is a heavy heartbeat motif in the kick drums for the song omg there is no heartbeat during the music when - Kid Ivan stares deadly at the camera (it stops there) - Ivan enters stage - They build the heartbeat motif again slowly during the backstory part - back to life. Starts with a single kick then double - Ivan is falling insert ivantill my god my universe memes again, Till is literally Ivan's reason for living
thank you for reading my nonsense ramblings it's 3:30 am Ivantill is worth staying up any day THIS IS NOT PROOFREAD I am CRYING đ„đ„ WE COPE GOOD NIGHT might draw ivantill fanart... doubt I have time though
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As a certified FOB/Peterick scholar, I was hoping that I may please present to you a lyric-related question that's been bugging me for a bit: In "What A Catch, Donnie", do you think the Miss Flack in the line "Miss Flack said I still want you back" is Pete, or Patrick? I believe Pete has referred to Patrick as his Roberta, as in Roberta Flack, but if the song is supposed to be from Patrick's POV, it wouldn't make sense for Patrick to be referring to himself as Miss Flack in that context. I can't tell whether Pete chose to cast himself as Miss Flack in this instance, and he's the one cutting through Patrick's negative self-talk in the verses by telling him "I still want you back", or if the verses are Pete talking to Patrick, and Patrick is the one saying "I still want you back". It 's a devastating line either way, but I'd love to hear what you think!
WARNING: DISCUSSIONS OF SUICIDE BELOW. If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out.
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I have also often puzzled over "What a Catch, Donnie" because yes, they both say the song was Pete writing pretending to be Patrick, but I don't think it completely lines up.
First, the reference to Donnie in the title is clearly to Donny Hathaway. That would seem to be the Pete equivalent in the Donny Hathaway/Roberta Flack friendship, and that lines up with the idea that the song is supposed to be Patrick talking about himself. If "Donny" = "Pete," then the title of the song is effectively Patrick being like, "Look what a catch I am," self-deprecatingly (the way the line shows up in the rest of the song)?
But I've long thought that the song isn't really as straightforwardly about Patrick as they claim it is, because none of their lyrics are as straightforward as that. We know that Patrick picks and chooses lyrics from all over and that Pete doesn't sit and write a whole song from start to finish, and I really have no reason to believe that "What a Catch" went through a different process. So I have long thought that what they mean when they say Pete was writing from Patrick's POV is really the song's chorus and verses. That wry, self-deprecating chorus really does seem like it suits Patrick's thoughts about himself, in Pete's voice. But I think the bridge (which stands out in several ways) is from Pete.
So the chorus is Pete writing from what he supposes to be Patrick's POV. That fits that last line in the chorus: "All I can think of is the way I'm the one who charmed the one who gave up on you." If the "I" in the chorus is meant to be Patrick ("I've got troubled thoughts"), and we assume that's still true of the last line in the chorus, then Pete is the "you" there (c'mon, they're always singing to / writing about each other, they're always each other's "you"). And that makes perfect sense: The one who gave up on Pete ("you") is Pete ("I've already given up on myself twice"). And who's the person who charmed Pete? Patrick. Like, if this chorus is all about Patrick, then it's about how Patrick thinks he's no big deal but he cannot get over the fact that Pete keeps insisting he IS. And this is the truest encapsulation of their dynamic ever, this comes up again and again in their interviews. Pete keeps insisting Patrick is so great, and Patrick must sit and turn that over and over in his head endlessly in those times when he just Doesn't Get It.
But, even though this is a song written from Patrick's POV, I still think it's mostly about Pete. Which kind of makes sense in its own way, especially for this time period of their relationship, that the person Patrick is most preoccupied with is Pete. Patrick muses about captains going down with the ship, but that's a thought about Pete: Pete literally casts himself as the captain going down with the ship in the video. If Pete is the captain of their band, does he have to go down with the ship? Even the first verse is ambiguous enough to make it seem like it's Patrick talking about Pete. It doesn't say who said, "I'll be fine 'til the hospital or American embassy." Patrick swallows the pronoun. That feels like something Pete may conceivably say to Patrick, at least in some guise: I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, don't worry.
So, as I noted at the beginning, I have always interpreted the dichotomy of the referenced relationship to be Patrick being equalled to Miss Flack. So when Patrick sings that Miss Flack still wants "you" back, I do think he is in effect referencing himself will talking about Miss Flack, and the line is meant to be sung from Patrick to Pete: Patrick still wants him, he always wants him, Roberta Flack was devastated by Donny's suicide and would presumably give everything to have him back. To me, that's exactly what Patrick is saying to Pete, couched in a layer of remove by claiming that it's "Miss Flack" saying it. And, since Pete wrote the line, since Pete established the analogy of Patrick and Roberta Flack, it is Pete recognizing that this is also how Patrick feels. Which I'm sure they discussed. To me, that line always feels like he put it in as a concrete reminder: people would miss you. Patrick would miss you.
And it connects so nicely with the overt promise of the bridge, which I think is definitely a shift to Pete being the "I": I will never do that to you. Keep a calendar so you will know. There's an acknowledgment that he came dangerously close ("I already am") but also an acknowledgment of the different outcome he had. They literally give the bridge to a different singer, as if signaling the pronoun change there (in a Broadway show, this would be the bit sung by the other calendar, acknowledging the love and affection being shown toward him). And we know Patrick keeps a detailed calendar, it's been referenced a few times in interviews, so that "keep a calendar" line seems tailor-made to be an exhortation from Pete to Patrick. (Plus, we know for a fact that the bridge either got reused OR was borrowed from another song, we don't know the order they were written, but that reprisal has always made that bit of "What a Catch" stand out just that little bit more as being just Different from the rest of the song).
All of which is to say, I think part of "What a Catch" is Pete writing from Patrick's POV (and, according to Patrick, getting it right), and that inevitably includes Pete recognizing not just Patrick's troubled thoughts and low self-esteem but how vitally important Patrick is to Pete and how much worry he causes in Patrick. And, of course, how much Pete wishes he didn't worry him so much. This is a song supposedly about Patrick's low self-esteem, but it's Pete who really reveals how little he thinks of himself as a friend, freaking everyone out by giving up on himself.
And I guess what this really means is that this song about Patrick is really a song about Patrick and Pete. Because of course it is.
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It's Hazbin Hotel Theory Time!
Alastor might be a Fallen Angel, and maybe even a very specific named angel
So, this little theory rant comes to us courtesy of the attached TikTok which I'll summarize before I add on to it (No idea how widespread this idea is, but this is how I first heard of it) (Also, putting it all under a Read More because, oh damn, it's a lotta words!)
To summarize, the theory postulates that Alastor is not just a Fallen Angel, but none other than the Archangel Michael
First, see the lyrics in the Finale song, "Once I figure out how to unclip my wings"
Second is his hair, in both style and color. Adam and the Exorcists bear a similar striping toward the base of their wings, and Vaggie has similar markings in her hair which resembles wings. Similarly, Alastor bears that two-tone striping and a vague wing-like shape.
Next, Alastor's outfit is strinkingly similar to St. Peter's, in general triangular shape, the use of the bow tie, and even the perpetual smile.
Then there's the clear tension between our favorite Radio Demon and the Ruler of Hell himself, Lucifer. Here, we start to veer more pointedly into Alastor being Michael specifically, as Michael and Lucifer have been depicted as natural enemies.
Additional details include both Michael and Alastor having X's show up, and Alastor's mic staff looking similar to a staff that Michael is often depicted with
Additionally, Michael is traditionally both the Warrior Angel, wielding his sword as he leads the angelic armies, and also as the Judge of Heaven, setting a soul's life on a scale to determine if they are worthy of entering Heaven. If Michael were to become absent from his post, then another would have to take his place in command (which we see in Adam), and in theory the others might be left unsure as to the exact requirements for allowing a soul entry to Heaven (which is effectively stated to be the case)
What if that's exactly what happened? What if the Archangel Michael left his position in Heaven and descended to Earth in the 1930's to become a human? Given the nature of the show as a whole, I don't think it's a reach to think that he might want a taste of sending souls to their Final Judgement even as a human, which then leads neatly into the established lore of Alastor being a serial killer, who was then shot and killed, and due to his abandonment of responsibilities in Heaven, this completed his Fall and he arrived in Hell.
So, that all is covered in the above TikTok, but while discussing the theory with a coworker today, I stumbled into further possible proof, albeit from a less connected and more coincidental source: Black Gryph0n's "Insane". Obviously, this is taking a sharp left turn into the incidental and "Cool If It Ends Up This Way", but still, I had to share with the class, ergo, this post.
First, let's look at that first verse...
Hello, itâs nice to meet you! Can you tell me where I am? I donât know how I got here But I think Iâm starting to understand. I donât belong among the angels, and baby thatâs just fine with me. The things I did up there were high school, but now Iâm going for my degree.
Primarily, we're looking at the last two lines. "I don't belong among the angels, and baby that's just fine with me". If we assume that Alastor is Michael, then this can easily be read as him rejecting his once-held role among them, acknowledging that he turned his back on them. "The things I did up there were high school, but now Iâm going for my degree." This could be a reference to his serial killing, before finding an entire new realm in which to hunt and murder. Or, it could also be him stating that his role as Warrior and Judge for Heaven was him holding back, playing by Heaven's rules, and now he has no such constraints.
Now, the second verse...
Wait a minute, do I know you? Werenât an old pal of mine? Departed from us far too early, but now weâre meeting a second time. We used to have such fun together, and maybe you have what I need But first I have one tiny question; tell me, do you demons bleed?
Continuing with the lens of his being Michael, it's very easy to picture him saying this to Lucifer. Once compatriots in Heaven, before Lucifer left their ranks and Fell. Perhaps what Lucifer has that Alastor needs is his wings, that which he's seeking to unclip, and the lack of which would presumably limit the power of a Fallen Angel.
Finally, the chorus itself.
Sorry but you just got in my way I promise honey I can feel your pain And maybe I enjoy just a little bit Does that make me insane? Havenât been the same since I expired Doesnât mean that I plan to retire And now I have the power to bathe all of you in entertaining fire!
One common method often shown in fictional judges is the supernatural ability to empathize with those being judged, the ability to feel what they feel. It's not too far a stretch, then, to think that Michael might bear this ability, which would lend itself to Alastor being able to feel his victims pain. Then, that last line, "bathe all of you in entertaining fire". What was it that Adam said in his first song? That he and the Exorcists, those with "divine ordainment", viewed the annual exterminations as nothing more than Entertainment?
Now, shifting back to the canon proper for one last bit, this theoretical true identity might recolor Alastor's action in the final battle, particularly against Adam specifically. He was the only one to not wield an angelic weapon in that fight. There's two options I've thought of that might explain this, using this theory. A: Leaning into the acknowledged fanon that he simply wanted to see how strong he was when he directly faced angelic forces, he might now be wanting to see if he still stacked up against them, if he still had the power he once had over them. B: Or, perhaps, it was his own deal that kept him hamstrung. Perhaps the deal he's seeking a way out of prevented him from touching angelic steel, kept him from taking up the one weapon that would give him the necessary edge in that fight.
And that's what I've got! Just felt like way too nicely lined up to keep it to myself, and had to share it! And I'm horrible at figuring out how to close this kinda post, so...
#Hazbin Hotel#Alastor#The Radio Demon#Archangel Michael#I don't know what else to tag this with#My Post
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as someone else who grew up mormon, the prairie diamond ring bracelet is the biggest reach.
as some else who grew up mormon and is bisexual and had her sexuality speculated before she ever had the chance to came out, it is INCREDIBLY harmful of yall to be dedicating entire blogs to proving someoneâs sexuality. how you all donât see that is insane to me, if she IS bisexual it is incredibly gross to be trying to force her out of the closet.
taking a queer meaning from someoneâs art (aka, YOUR interpretation) does not mean they are gay. trying to force that on someone you donât know is not cool.
Hey anon, I am fully aware that that is a big reach, the person who added it knew that it could be a huge reach and openly said that if you read the post. So while I respect your opinion about my blog, and this communities blogs, I cannot respect you calling us gross for talking about our queer interpretation of her art.
We are NOT trying to force her out of the closet. You do not see us commenting on Taylorâs best friends, and âboyfriendsâ accounts that they need to âget married alreadyâ or commenting on Taylorâs posts âBreak up with him already đ©â. That is SWIFTIES. They get all in her business and harass Taylor and her friends, all because they want more information about her personal relationship that they donât deserve.
We as a community just want Taylor to be happy, and that means we would be perfectly fine with her being straight.
Youâre right, by the way, our opinions donât make her gay.
For an artists who loves Easter eggs, we would believe her if she didnât constantly queer code everything. If her top artist on Spotify wasnât girl in red. If her music didnât constantly reference a âbest friendâ that she allegedly ended her friendship with in 2017 In a romantic light. If she didnât tag her account in the middle of a rainbow on her posts. If she didnât have a song about the street she lived on with that said best friend. IF SHE DIDNâT WRITE THE LYRIC âI DONâT WANT YOU LIKE A BESTFRIENDâ OR âSHADE NEVER MADE ANYBODY LESS GAYâ.
So no anon, itâs not cool to force someone out of the closet. We would never pressure Taylor to come out. Is there some accounts that probably do? Of course, but we are not those accounts. We care about her happiness, and her happiness both in love, and in general, cannot be found in Evermore, or Folklore. Nor can it be found on Midnights with songs like Anti-Hero, Lavender Haze (that 1950âs shit they want from me), Youâre on your own kid, and even sweet nothing.
Youâre telling me anon, that Sweet Nothing doesnât sound like one person wanted only sweet nothing. They didnât want ANYTHING from her at all, in exchange for their love? That instead of a contractual arrangement, she fell in love?
Youâre telling me that any of her boyfriendsâ names are something she can slur tilâ someone puts her in a car? I donât know about you but kar-lie sounds more like car when slurred then JoeâŠ
So Iâm sorry anon, but in this case you werenât in the right of accusing me of forcing her into anything. She does everything on her own terms, and we canât, and wonât change that. We want her happiness, and it clearly isnât being evidenced in her art thus far.
Maybe you should look at your own heteronormativity and how that affects Taylorâs sexuality. Maybe youâre a part of the reason sheâs in the closet in the first place⊠I beg of you anon, go check out some of the amazing Kaylor Blogs I follow and look for yourself how much our interpretation of her songs is the one she means. As a bisexual yourself I know you can see beyond the heteronormative window, so please, do try.
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Chapter 7 of Timeâs Arrow, âI love everybody because I love you! // But I'm a chemical compound, You're just the gun in my mouthâ is here!
Memento mori. Unus Annus. /ref
PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS AND PROCEED WITH CAUTION. THIS CHAPTER IS ROUGH.
Details below! (Format is funky because I am on mobile rn. Will be fixed later!)
- The lyrics for this chapterâs title are from âStrawberry Blondeâ by Mitski and âGrossâ by Penelope Scott! The first part is for the majority of the chapter, as it reflects how happy and filled with love Beej is feeling. The other one is for the last scene. :)
- âI wanna remember this moment.â âEvery detail. I donât wanna forget a single one.â - this is inspired by a similar scene in âParks and Recâ, one of my favorite shows!! Specifically the scene where Ben proposed to Leslie.
- â âHm?â Beetlejuice titled their head a little, then pursed their lips as the words processed in their slow, stuttering mind.â - Auditory processing disorder my beloathed. It takes a sec for the info to hit the brain!
- â âLike, worse than âSpiralâ.â Beetlejuice gasped, placing a hand on his chest. ⊠âOkay. Now I gotta know. Whatâs worse than âSpiralâ?â â - âSpiralâ is the worst of the Saw movies. I will die on this hill. Beetlejuice saw this as the high insult it is.
- â.. I know Iâm regaining some weight, but-â - THE RETURN OF THE KING.
- âIâll have to go back to school. No more online-only.â - Ash straight up lied to the school and said she went with her parents and sister to Massachusetts so she could do all her schooling online.
- â⊠wanna watch âRenfieldâ?â - âRenfieldâ is spectacular. Amazing. Showstopping. But someone in Beejâs particular situation should not be watching it for reasons that would be spoilers for that wonderful movie. Go watch it!!!
- The whole dinner cheek kiss thing was planned by Barbara and Adam! They made sure Beetlejuice was okay with telling others first, but he wasnât sure how to, so they took matters into their own hands!
- â âI always wondered about you three,â he heard Charles say. He almost thought he heard a twinge of fondness to his voice, but he was certain he must be imagining things. âGood for you all.â â - Poly ally. He saw their slow burn romance from a million miles away and decided to let them all sort it out on their own. And yes it WAS FONDNESS. Beetlejuice just wonât accept it yet.
- Delia is trying to figure out what prescription glasses to get Beetlejuice on her own, with the help of the Internet! Itâs very tough when he doesnât cooperate.
- âWeâve read two books together now.â ⊠âOr do I just have âThe Great Gatsbyâ and âFrankensteinâ memorized?â - Beetlejuice read âFrankensteinâ, like Lydia suggested! They loved it.
- Yes that is an actual passage from âThe Great Gatsbyâ. No I am not sorry. Yes it is extremely thematically relevant.
- âThey reached up to scratch at an itch on their scalp, clacking their teeth.â - they scratched it like a dog does. They always do!
- The second passage Beetlejuice quotes is from âSir Gawain and the Green Knightâ. It is one of his (and my own, I almost named myself Gawain) favorite old tales. He has referenced it before, and it comes up quite a few times again! Even later in this chapter. ;) (And yes it is extremely thematically relevant. Sorry not sorry I am hiding the foreshadowing and themes in other stories..)
- â Delia grinned wide, exchanging some sort of glance with Barbara. âItâs not too much?â The demon lightly shook their head. âSplendid!â â - I wonder what this is about?
- âI say itâs too bold of a departure, if you ask me.â - This is a reference to Beetlejuiceâs first line in the musical! Also a jab at myself. LoopJuice is perhaps too bold a departure from the original source materialâŠ
- âImages of kisses pressed to their temple, their cheek, their jaw, memories of sweet words, gentle little pleads and promises flashed through their mind. Pink rose in their chest, warmth burned in their cheeks. They inevitably gave in, of course.â - EASILY WON OVER BY KISSES AND PETS. What a fool! /hj
- âThey think perhaps this is the closest theyâve ever felt to being happy. Not just slightly sardonic or glibly nihilistic, but happy. Like real people do.â - Part of this is a reference to the last scene in âBoJack Horsemanâ, since that show influenced how I write quite a bit. And the last part is a reference to âLike Real People Doâ by Hozier, which is on my Beetlands playlist!
- âNo, perhaps this was normal, he decided.â - It is not. There are two reasons! 1. Beejâs permanent frostbite damage making him more susceptible to cold 2. Cyrus is straight up lurking here. He is nearby and watching him.
- âIt scratched at the back of his mind like a wild hound begging to be let in the house, asking for shelter from the storm. Only to savage the homeâs inhabitants. Where had it come from? What storm was it hiding from? Fuck. Where the hell is my head right now?â - Self roast. Sometimes I go too crazy with the poetic descriptionsâŠ
- âBeetlejuice briefly wondered if the cold could drive a demon mad. He thought maybe heâd read about it happening to breathers before.â - This is a real thing! Heâs specifically thinking about the Donner Party.
- âLess and less of you will be left each day, slowly siphoning out until you are empty.â - sorry not sorry, another âThe Fall of the House of Usherâ show reference. Mike Flanagan is my bestie.
- â âYour time.â Beetlejuice clenched their jaw as his words rippled through their mind. Darling, I only want your time. They gasped in shuddering breaths, their ears going back. Give me your time. Fuck.â - took him a while, but he finally caught the obvious loophole! Far too late, unfortunately.
- âAh, what was that wonderful phrase from the inane little story you enjoyed so much said?â Cyrusâ grin widened impossibly. âOne year hence.â - He is referencing âThe Green Knightâ! This is what the Green Knight says to Gawain to let him know his fate is sealed. Also, note the difference between Barbara showing interest in one of his favorite stories, while Cyrus belittles it.
#loopjuice#beetlejuice fanfic#beetlejuice#beetlejuice the musical#lawrence beetlejuice shoggoth#timeâs arrow#lydia deetz#beetlands#beetlelands#barbara maitland#adam maitland#ash swallows#cyrus the demon#charles deetz#delia deetz#loopjuice chapter#loopjuice extras
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Okay @bunnymermaidsblog so hereâs how âShow Yourselfâ from Frozen 2 fits Henry
First off, context for this song if it were about Henry is that he just came to the faerie realm.
(Putting the rest under a cut for everyoneâs sanity xD)
Now letâs take a closer look to some lyricsâŠ
âSomething is familiar, like a dream I can reach but not quite hold [âŠ] I'm arriving and it feels like I am homeâ
When Henry leaves the village to go to the faerie realm, heâs nervous. He has never been there before, if you donât count the literal day of his birth.
Yet instantly when heâs there, he feels like heâs finally at home. He feels familiarity and belonging. Which is strange to him and kinda hard to grasp, cause heâs never seen this place yet seems to know it.
The thing about fae is that they are very closely tied to their birthplace (the fae realm) and when they are away from it for too long, they start to miss it. They long for home, no matter how little time they spent in that realm.
âThe woods are calling all of us homeâ, as Isleen warned Ranva once. And this is what Henry experienced, why he felt so out of place in the village and instantly feels a connection to the fae realm as he gets there.
Yet he canât quite name this feeling, let alone understand it, thus his uncertainty.
âI have always been a fortress, cold secrets deep insideâ
This one is simple. Henry had always carried the secret of what he was with him. With that he indirectly blocked out people he loved, mainly Aiden, because he didnât share this secret with him.
âShow yourself, it's your turn. Are you the one I've been looking for all of my life?â
Now with âyouâ you could say Henry is addressing both the pull he felt that made him go to the fae realm as well as the decision he has made itself (you could say heâs waiting for the decisionâs turn to prove him he made the right choice, if that makes sense)
(Maybe heâs also addressing Callan a bit, because if you look at it, Henry now has to fully rely on Callan cause he only has him left. So maybe heâs hoping for Callan to also show him that he made the right choice)
âI've never felt so certain, all my life I've been torn. But I'm here for a reason. Could it be the reason I was born?â
This is also very much Henry cause especially in his teen years heâd been torn between his loyalty to his family and his own desires.
Even at the point where he actually leaves heâs not sure if he made the right choice.
But then he comes to the fae realm and it just feels right. It feels like this is meant to be, he suddenly KNOWS that itâs meant to be, despite his doubts.
He also feels like heâs there for a reason, like him being there has a purpose and therefore simply had to be. He doesnât know that purpose yet, but he knows itâs important (thus potentially âthe reason he was bornâ)
âI have always been so different, normal rules did not apply. Is this the day [âŠ] I finally find out why?â
Here we have it again, a reference to Henryâs life in the village. Where he was loved, yes, but also obviously different. At least most people in the village would agree with that.
Henry hopes that now that heâs at the faerie realm, he will finally fully understand why he is different, will finally discover who he really is as a person.
Because his mother did tell him about being a fae, yes, but thereâs still questions. Many questions.
Henryâs whole journey is a lot about getting to know himself, after all.
âI'm no longer trembling. Here I am, I've come so far [âŠ]â
Henry waited for answers all his life, especially ever since his mother died. And now heâs in the fae realm and he finally gets his answers, so heâs not afraid anymore.
The next few lines is Henry starting to get used to his new life and investigating, trying to open that door that has been closed for so long.
And then it finally opens and behind it, he finds his mother. And he finds himself.
âCome, my darling, homeward bound. I am found.â
This line is very touching to me (both in the movie but especially in the Henry context) because by going back to his roots, he finds who stood at the beginning of it all. His mother.
By getting to the fae realm (and cause of his research), he got closer to the mother he lost, too. And through her, he also starts finding and recognizing himself.
âShow yourself, step into the power. Grow yourself into something new. You are the one you've been waiting for all of your (my) lifeâ
When Henry finally has found the answers, has found himself, he grows so much as a person. He realizes that all he ever searched for all his life was his true self.
And with that knowledge comes a new confidence within him that helps him a lot in his future.
Heâs as sure of himself and his origin now as heâs ever been. And all that cause he took the leap and left his village.
See, thereâs many things about this song that I love and that I think fit Henry:
The search for something you canât name and finally getting close to finding it.
The reunion with your roots and yourself via the image of a mother, carved into memory.
And then finally, to find yourself and trust in yourself, because what youâve been looking for was within you all along.
Finally understanding, finally finding the truth within you.
Am I overanalyzing this? Most likely, yes, but thatâs what you came here for, right? Anyway I hope you like this đ
#is it evident that I love this song and that j love giving way too long explanations about Henry? xD#I hope this makes at least a little sense to anyone who isnât me#this is such a big point about Henryâs character and his decision to leave#he never did this because of Callan he did it for himself and in hope it would help his family too#thus Henry telling Aiden that he didnât choose Callan over Aiden. he chose himself#writer speaks#writeblr#wip: the knights of the alder
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