#(I just. I already knew my gender was Lesbian. Now I'm thinking I might be on the more mas lesbian side of it)

[catholicsapphic]

So I began having a gender expression crisis some weeks ago due to noticing I desperately want to come across more masculine. And then I immedaitely felt the call to get closer to st. Francis of Assisi and st. Joan of Arc. What is this. How did they clock me so fast

[viquipo]

No bc I'm so mad rn I usually post my rants on ig stories but I need the tumblrites to tell me if I'm crazy or what. Jwcc/ct spoilers WHATEVER

First of all I want to preface this by saying that this is just my opinion on the matter, I'm not saying your headcanons are "wrong" or whatever tf, it's a kids cartoon where they unironically use terms like "fam". You can play with the characters however you'd like.

That being said, this is why TO ME it does not makes sense for Ben to be anything other than gay. Again, if you think he's bi or straight or anything else that's cool. I'm also leaning towards the opinion that he does actually have a girlfriend. I don't think the shows gonna pull a 180 on it because, realistically, 2 queer characters is already a lot for a DreamWorks kids show. As much as I'd like it not to be.

But, since the beginning, Ben has been very clearly coded as exclusively into men to me. Before finally going into it, I remind everyone on here that I'm a lesbian. I have felt an affinity with his character specifically for the experience of only liking the same gender. I might be totally projecting.

Ok, so.

1. The arc Ben goes through during the show is yes, one of self discovery, but also one of self acceptance. He changes a lot from the start of s1, but he also comes to terms with stuff himself or other people didn't like about him. He doesn't throw the dork pouch away or tells Kenji to keep it, the first thing he does when he takes it back from Kenji is put on hand sanitizer. He is covered in dirt, he's not afraid of filth anymore, but he still does that action because it's part of who he is as a person. He also becomes very unashamed at the things he does. He went from being embarrassed of his carob bars to eating grubs in front of people who he knows think it's gross. He knows himself as he is and he accepts it. To me (and to lots of other people) this works very well as a gay metaphor, and pairs up pretty nicely with the whole "jungle boy? Jungle MAN" arc being a trans metaphor. But how does this make Ben uniquely into men?

Well, it doesn't. But I think this next one does.

2. Enter Yasmina. She's pretty, she's smart, athletic, funny, all that good stuff. I'm not saying that means every wlm character should automatically be into her, but it certainly helps. Now forgive me if I don't remember specific episodes/seasons, but we all remember that episode where Ben convinces himself that Yaz is in love with him for some reason. When he "rejects" her, he says : "I'm just now starting to find myself". That's cool, cause I'm pretty sure Ben's " finding himself " personality wise was over and done a couple of seasons ago. To me, that is a really good hint at him dealing with his gayness.

3. He's also the first person Yasmina talks to about her feelings for Sammy. Now, in this particular context, the options for Yaz to talk to were Darius, Brooklynn, or Ben. It would initially seem to make more sense for her to confide in Brooklynn, since the two of them are far closer than her and Ben, and it also wouldn't be the first time she brings up Sammy as a romantic interest for Yaz (see: everyone tweaking abt that one line back in like s2). So why does Yasmina, a very private and reserved person, choose Ben to talk to about her same sex crush? She has probably gathered from the previous conversation that Ben relates to her struggle in a unique way in which Brooklynn just can't. Ben seems very receptive of what Yaz is saying ("feelings, am I right?") and it seems like he REALLY gets where she's coming from.

4. This is one I don't see talked about a lot, and maybe it's just cause I'm too out of the loop with the fandom, but I want to examine it as well. It's when Ben decides to not actually stay on the island. Everyone (except Sammy) already knew he wasn't going to stay in the end, but still didn't force him out. I think this is especially clear in a line Darius says when they reunite on the boat that goes something like "you needed to figure it out on your own" *smile hand on shoulder combo*. No explanation needed I think

I am diagnosed with autism did you guys know what

[apparently-artless]

HAPPY AROMANTIC VISIBILITY DAY!!! [June 5]

To every aromantic people in the entire world: YOU ARE VALID. YOU ARE A WONDERFUL GIFT. YOU ARE LOVED. I SEE YOU.

So I actually got the chance to tell my mother and my brother about me being aroace. My sister who lives with me already knew. To be honest, you could say that they are not aware that such gender exists. But one thing I was able to confirm is that they respect and support the LQBTQIA+ community. In fact, back when I was still figuring out my gender, I already talked to my mom about it. And she told me that she's okay with it if I'll turn out to be a lesbian. And so a few months back, when I got the chance to go home, I took it as an opportunity to let them know. I explained to them what aromantic and asexual meant, although I think they pretty much had a general idea. Their initial reaction is "but that would be lonely" which I would take as a positive reaction all things considered. I can understand that they are concerned about me not finding a partner and that I may end up alone in the future. My mom also added that maybe after 10 years or so, I might change my mind. I just explained to her that yeah, I will still be an aroace 10 years from now but it's not like I'm fully dismissing the possibility of finding a partner. Who knows, I might find someone like me. But I'll cross the bridge if ever I actually get there.

Anyway, my family still loves me and respect my decisions. And I know they will still be there for me in the future no matter what. I guess as someone who is an aroace, it's up to me to make them understand (maybe not in an entirely full understanding but so much as to accept) that I can also live a happy life without being in a relationship. That it's not a requirement in life and that it doesn't make me a lesser person. So that in the future, if they encounter another aromantic and/or asexual person just like me, they would know what to say and not to say.

To those who managed to read up until this point, thank you! And I hope that in the future, more and more people would be aware of ARO/ACE/AROACE spec.

[lemmilemura]

Alright so I've had this idea for like over a month but only now am writing it!!! Somehow the Simon well hasn't completely dried out yet :D Also I know nothing about the american school system, so I'm either 1. assuming or 2. basing it off answers american friends have given

Based on the show All kept gender neutral but reader has a female reproductive system

Life started going by so fast. Your last week of classes, prom, graduation, and before you knew it, it was the last night you had with your boyfriend before he was leaving for college. You and the rest of your friendgroup was staying behind on Bayview for atleast another year, he was the only one leaving. Of course he was going far away, even with a timezone adjustment.

Neither of you could fall asleep, laying there in his now emptier bedroom. It was already close to 2am, but you were still awake. So much was going to change. Your entire daily lives. You spent almost every moment together, and now, he would be thousands of miles away.

"I can't believe I'm about to say this..." Simon suddenly started after you've both been silent for over an hour. "But I think I'm really gonna miss those two crazy lesbians." You chuckles. Maeve and Janae were both already a little off the rocker alone, but together they were fully unhinged. It was entertaining seeing their evolution, their awkward phases. You and Simon sort of felt like proud parents. You couldn't imagine how sad he must be to have to leave you all behind.

"I'm sure they're gonna miss you too." You wanted to reassure him the best you could, looking up at him and smiling. He smiled back. "You know what I'm gonna miss most?" He asked. You tilted your head. "You....r moms food oh my god it's good! Better than any restaurant I've ever been at that's for sure."

This jerk. This loveable, ridiculous jerk.

"C'mon Si! You're such a jerk." You jokingly swatted his arm and he started laughing. "I'm kidding sweetheart, I'm kidding. Of course I?m going to miss you the most..." he eached out and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. "Don't know how I'll make to without you for a year."

And truth be told, that was the last time you saw him for an antire year. All 4 of you knew this, but none of you were ready. Sure he was only one of 4 people, but him being gone still changed so much about the friendgroup. Noone to make mean sarcastic comments, noone to be a sugar daddy... noone to tell you were having his baby.

You had all mutually decided to, atleast for the first year, have as little contact as necessary. It really was a random decision. One of a couple scribbled ideas on a piece of papaer thrown into a hat and pulled from. Why you actually went with it you didn't know. You could have had daily facetimes, you could have had monthly game nights, but no. All 4 of you agreed to no contact. If only you'd known.

It was about 2 or 3 weeks after he left that you started feeling weird, sick, tired. One doctors appointment later and there you found yourself, pregnant and the father gone for atleast a year. You knew this was crazy, life altering. Yet you didn't tell him, even with Janae and Maeve saying you should. "He probably has so muc hgoing on! I don't want to throw a wrench into his plans..." you said. "It's not a wrench, it's a baby! His baby!"

You weren't fully sure why you kept it. It would have been way easier if you hadn't. Afterall, you still had your entire life ahead of you. you never imagined having a kid this young, if at all. You think it might have been the dream you had. The dream where you were in a house, a beautiful one, during a summer golden hour. You could see the sun coming in through the windows, you could hear the birds and laughter outside.

And outside, in the perfect house's perfect garden, was Simon, and a child. Your child. The child you just found out you were having. The sight was one that made you happy. So, so happy. You spent the next hour after waking up crying. Because it wasn't real? Because it could be? You didn't know, and you still don't.

So you kept it. You went through all of those months, right until the end. You had Janae and Maeve by your side, and even before it was born they were already amazing aunts, they bought it toys and clothes and even that one "Get the fuck to sleep" book. Without them, you proably wouldn't have made it. That can be said about a lot of things and situations. they were your lifeline, your anchor.

You'll never forget the moment you first saw her, your daughter. After hours and hours of pain and agony she was there. The moment you held her and saw her tiny, wrinkled face, you were sold. She was, in almost every way, a carbon copy of her father. It almost scared you. Not that you considered it, but it was then that you knew you were never giving her up to anyone. It was impossible. Your little Lucy.

Maeve and Janae basically lived with you, they helped you take care of Lucy so you weren't alone. Maeve got the hang of it a little faster than Janae but can you blame her? The amount of babies she's interacted with in her lifetime is 1, that 1 being Lucy.

~~~~~~~~~~

It's a warm, summer day when Simon finally returns home. A year since he last saw his friends, his family. He dropped his things off at home in a matter of minutes and then went straight to your house. He couldn't wait to see you again, to hug you and to tell you how much he missed you. He wonderef if you'd changed, and if how so? Did you change your appearance? Your lifestyle? Did you move on and find someone new?

He had started speed walking, almost jogging, before he realized it. He just couldn't wait anymore. He ran up the steps of your porch and rang the doorbell, waiting for it to open. Through the glass he could see Maeve, still the same as ever. She was the one who opened the door for him. "Wait, Simon? What are you doing here?" She pretty much jumped at him with glee. "Well, I wanted to come visit my 3 favorite girls." "Never ever say that again." Maeve threatened, and Simon put his hands up in defense. "J! It's Si! Can you go get (Y/N)?" Maeve yelled in teh direction of the livingroom, from which came a "Riger roger", followed by Janae walking up the stairs, cradling something in her arms.

"So how's college?" Maeve asked to make some small talk. She cared, she really did, but she moreso wanted to make time go by faster for him to see you, and to see Lucy. "C'mon, it's easy. Fuh-ck." Janae said from the stairs. He heard your laugh, that laugh he had been missing for an agonizing year. He turned and saw you, as beautiful/handsome/appealing as the day he last saw you. "Janae if you actually manage to make her first word fuck I'll give you 50 bucks."

He now saw the small thing clearly. A baby? Why was there a baby in your house? Surely you were just babysitting, right? Yea, totally. You didn't move on, you're just babysitting. Simon hardly had the time to fall into a spiral of thoughts before you pretty much launched yourself at him. He managed to steady himself so you two didn't fall over from the force. You stood there in eachothers arms for a while. "God I missed you, so, so much." You whuspered. "Missed you too, sweetheart" he responded.

When you pulled away you just looked at eachother, taking in your features. Your eyes quickly shot over to Janae, now sitting down, but still holding Lucy. Simon noticed. You noticed that he noticed. Now was the moment. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. Time to face the past year head-on. Maeve and Janae got the memo and gave Lucy back to you, leaving the two of you alone.

You sat down and didn't say anything for a while. You didn't know where to start. "Who are you babysitting for?" he asked. Good, you didn't have to start. But how to respond? "Oh I'm... I'm not babysitting..." you trailed off. He raised an eyebrow. "This..." you started, slightly turning her around so he could see her better. "is Lucy. She's... my daughter."

That moment destroyed him. You did move on, and not only did you move on, you had a child with them aswell. He was crushed. There went the one good thing he had. Goodbye future with you, goodbye happiness. He felt like everything was starting to blur and slip away, until you took his hand and looked at him. He looked at you. "She's... our daughter."

He had to do a mental double-take. Him? A father? There was no way that would go well. "Ours? When... when did this happen?" He kept looking from her to you and back again. "The night before you left, I guess. I was shocked, too."

"Why didn't you tell me... that I'm..." "A dad? I just... didn't want to tear you away from college, I guess. I mean, you're finally out of Bayview and you're immediately called back?" You explained. "Sweetheart this is different! You really should have told me!" "Oh, come on, you have your whole life infront of you, Simon! I wasn't going anywhere anyway." You tried to explain. "No, no, you really should have told me! I..." he stopped for a bit and took a breath, the look in his face changing, becoming somewhat softer. "I missed so much..."

"I wasn't here to help you. I missed her birth I..." He took another breath and wiped tears you didn't even realize were in his eyes. He grabbed your hand. "I'm a dad. You're a mom/dad/parent. We're parents. We have a daughter. I have missed way more that I ever should have. I don't care how you interject, I am switching to online classes and I'm moving back here."

"Simon-" he cut you off. "I'm serious, (Y/N). I'm not going anywhere. I don't care about college. I care about you. I care about our family." That made the wall break, the tears you had been holding back breaking free as you started crying. He pulled you in for a hug and you swore you could hear him sniffling too. "We're gonna do this. We've got eachother, and Maeve and Janae."

"IIf she does acrually teach her fuck as her first word I'll also give her 50 bucks." He joked. You pulled away and he looked at little Lucy in your arms. "Can I hold her?" "Of course" Anyone could tell he wasn't used to handling infants, but he'd be damned if he wasn't prepared to do his best.

You watched as he held her, looking over her with love in his eyes. "Hey Lucy. It's me, your dad. I know I missed a lot, but I'm not going anywhere anymore." You laid your head on his shoulder. "We really have a Lucy now..." "We do indeed" you responded.

Any time the two of you played a game where you could have children, be it Sims, Minecraft comes alive or otherwise, the fist one was always, even if you had to cheat, a little girl named Lucy. Neither of you knew exactly why Lucy, but it stuck. And now here she was.

Your litte Lucy.

ALRIGHT HERE YOU ARE I HOPE THIS WAS GOOD this ended up at 1927 words which is really great, I'm so happy that I'm still managing to write stuff!! SIMIN IS A GIRL DAD AND NOONE CAN MAKE ME THINK OTHERWISE THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT

~Taglist~ @pine-ferret

[redtail-lol]

"Critinclus accepts x and y" no it doesn't ur fundamentally misunderstanding the term critinclus

Critinclus doesn't have a strict set of beliefs. It doesn't have any set of identities that it does and doesn't accept. Critinclus people define their own level of inclusion.

Critinclus simply means that you accept people, regardless of how they identify, but you wish to understand why they identify that way before fully accepting them. This is different from an exclusionist, because exclusionists are reactionary. If they don't understand from just the name, they would rather go "wow that's fake" than bother asking. Critinclus assumes the people mean to use their labels in good faith and seeks understanding to determine if an identity really is in good faith. Exclusionists also believe all queer identities have strict rules, or queerness itself has strict rules, while a critinclus accepts and acknowledges that the "rules" are very flexible and that definitions are moreso guides, with outliers in every label, and they simply want to understand the outliers they encounter and know what makes them feel compelled to identify with something they don't "technically" fit under. It is also different from radinclus because radinclus often implies "you're valid because everyone has a right to self identify however they wish!" Which is a good sentiment, and I could see myself being fully radinclus, but to a degree I want to understand why you might feel like a lesbian as a binary monogender trans men (note, I already had my own epiphany about this and don't need it explained, I know now, it's just an example) or why someone would identify their gender as being related closer to animals than femininity or masculinity (I also already learned about this it's just an example) but unlike an exclusionist I wouldn't be reactionary and simply call them invalid because it doesn't make sense on the surface. Instead I would ask, "I don't think I understand, could you please explain it to me?" If they didn't want to explain, I would respect that and respect their identity, but I'd still try and ask similar people why they identify that way to try and understand the first person better.

Warning. This next section starts relevant then I go on a tangent and lose my train of thought. You might waste your time.

Also, when it comes to asking questions, exclus can also ask questions but they're done differently than critinclus. When it comes to good vs bad faith, critinclus ask good faith questions, and exclus ask them in bad faith. Since it's something my sister constantly brings up, let's say there's a critinclus who doesn't understand non-binary people vs an exclus who doesn't get it. The critinclus would ask, "I have heard a lot about nonbinary people, but I'm not quite sure I understand it. Do you think you could explain to me what it means to be neither a man nor a woman? How do you know if you're nonbinary?" The exclus would ask, "I have heard a lot about nonbinary people but I don't think it makes any sense. I don't understand any of it. You can't be- how can you not be a man or a woman? That's not real!" Exclus don't really want to understand, they just ask questions for rhetorical reasons and are meant to make you feel interrogated, under pressure, and leave you unable or unwilling to answer their questions. Critinclus make it clear they want to learn and are willing to accept any answers. Exclus also tend to make it clear what their stance is when they ask, and won't actually care what you say. If a critinclus asked me about my enby identity, I'd say "well, ever since I knew about nonbinary people and the possibility to be something other than a man or a woman, I always felt some connection to the concept. It was always something that resonated with me. But I didn't identify with it for a really long time because I was still a girl and didn't want to give up being a girl. I did know about multigender people but because I'm bigendermeld, I didn't think I was multigender. I briefly identified as a demigirl because of the connection but I am actually a hypergirl and stopped identifying with it when I argued with a gender abolitionist and felt such a strong connection to my girlhood. When I realized I could be nonbinary and still be a girl, I finally felt like I had figured everything out. It resonated with me so much and I'm so happy to know. My gender in particular feels like it's not masculine nor is it feminine, it's completely disconnected, but yet it's not nothing. It's a gender of it's own right. That's why I personally identify as aporagender or aporine, with nonbinary as an umbrella term. Thanks for asking." However, I don't really answer my sister because I know she doesn't want to understand. She wants to lecture me, argue, and convince me nonbinary people aren't real.

I feel like I've gone off topic by now ok bye bye

[mejomonster]

on episode 9 of the l word and i'm starting to see some of the lets say... biphobia, and just 90s/early 2000s kind of fucked up views. i grew up in 2000s and while thankfully by the time i was in college a lot of people were past some of those fucked up views, i do remember running into some shitty people in high school (and older adults) with not great opinions at times.

there's a scene where alice hooks up with lisa, and just does not want to respect lisa viewing herself as a woman. lisa leaves mad (so i guess at least the show wrote lisa as realistically upset to be misgendered during sex?) alice has no idea why, i think the writing expected the audience to relate to alice also being confused? but like idk, i'm nonbinary, if a lover kept calling me a woman during sex i'd fucking leave, so i get the reaction lisa had. but like... i do remember being a teen and people didn't even understand gender... so i'm not surprised it's handled this way in an old show.

also alice is bi, and her friends kinda just frequently invalidate that and call her a lesbian. the show's writing is a bit confusing about this? because on the one hand, alice IS being written as attracted to men, so she's being written as bisexual pretty genuinely, but then her friends just say sucky stuff. when i grew up, i was repeatedly told bisexuality didn't exist, i was fake etc tons of biphobic shit from straight and gay people, so the way her friends talk is realistic. and honestly nicer than a lot of ppl i knew around the time the l word was popular. on the other hand, there were a few shows being kinder to bisexuality around then. mostly i am guessing the show just went for... realistic at the time, and didn't care to reflect more on the matter? maybe

ah and jenny. i've never seen the show Girls, but i heard it was full of unlikable women who do realistic flawed things, and that's kind of the point - somewhat realistic. I imagine The L Word is, for the most part, attempting to do something similar: it's glamorized queer women since they're in LA, have art careers and are successfully employed mostly, so they're living the dream. But they also have realistic flaws and relationships: early as episode 1, Bette and Tina have very normal distant-emotional issues, Alice has normal issues with her mom overstepping boundaries, Shane has normal issues with jealous people and trying to keep a job, Dana has normal issues with dating and navigating work stuff. So I don't think the show is trying to portray "perfectly good" queer women, it's trying to portray realistic women. Bette is NOT a perfect sister to Kit, and vice versa. The women are flawed.

And oh jenny. jenny jenny jenny. i hate her lol. But i do realize some people are going to like flawed women, that's kind of the point of a show like this with realistic characters, and hey i liked evil queen regina in Once Upon a Time so to each their own. jenny sure is something. i've dated people like jenny and maybe that's why i'm like Big Yikes get her Off Screen lmao. ToT I've been Marina going 'i would just like my crush happy, what does she need,' I've been Tim going 'why did she lie?' and like. lol 'jenny's a writer she craves experiences' if that doesn't summarize a particular kind of girl you may date in your life. Hell, we might all have been Jennys too in the sense of dating someone like Marina who then tells us "yeah i'm in an open relationship, i'm telling you NOW (that we are already together too)." And yeah it sucks Marina didn't communicate that sooner... but also with Jenny 1. cheating on her bf, 2. not trying to communicate with Marina earlier to clarify things (because that would've required jenny to say something like admit she is AWARE she's cheating on her bf and making a concious choice instead of simply being 'tempted' uncontrollably by Marina which is what Jenny keeps insisting happened).

Well with Jenny not trying to communicate honestly with anyone she's hooking up with, I'm not surprised she didn't talk to Marina enough to FIND OUT Marina has a partner. I kinda think it's Jenny's fault. Jenny could've at any point idk Talked to Marina about their two's relationship, other possible partners, their wants out of this thing. But then Jenny would've had to admit she was purposely choosing to pursue Marina, and did all that lying to Tim on purpose. Also Jenny... oh Jenny... she cheats on Tim, they break up, he tells her to move out, so she goes to Marina expecting to move in. I imagine Jenny as the kind of person who only leaves a relationship once she has another lined up, and immediately rushes into the next one, very rarely just being single. I suppose I'll see how she acts later on. i think it'd do her a world of good to BE single... if for nothing else, so she can just be honest with herself and others for a while. I can see why some people like her, and hate her, and i just am like yikes the drama she brings ToT but hey, that's part of entertainment i guess lol. Also i suppose, being kind, a lot of young queer girls do what she does - without any malicious intent. They have a bf, for whatever reason, then they like a girl - and aren't ready to face that they like women but still WANT to pursue her. So a mess happens. I know, I dated girls like Jenny ToT

And now like, Shane. So there's a comparison there in a way: shane sleeps around, jenny does too. But I guess for me, Shane simply communicates more, and is more honest if people ask her. If a girl asks her, Shane will be honest she doesn't plan to be in a relationship, and she'll honestly say she slept with other women before. I can't relate to Shane lol, but her just being basic ass level honest makes her make more sense to me lol. Plus she is (at least so far) a good friend: she tells her friends if a partner they date is disrespecting them, backs up her friends if it's important, goes to hang out with her friends sometimes and is not only focusing on flirting. It's easy to see why she's in her friend group.

I think right now my favorite characters are Kit (I love her), Tina (I love her AND I low key think she and bette are just like Modern AU Gabrielle/Xena), Alice and Dana. Oddly, I remember hating Tim wayyyy back when I was in college and tried to watch the show once, probably because I was sick of seeing another guy/girl couple on tv especially when I'd been purposely seeking gay shit out. Now that I'm older, he annoys me less, and mostly I just notice Jenny's yikes factor to me lol. I still am awaiting Tim leaving the show mostly though, because i don't need to see any straight relationships in this ToT, but i thought he was fine ish.

[caramelmochacrow]

🏳️‍🌈 + Photon Maiden and Happy Around

took a bit for me to answer cause I got busy w an essay and getting data for my stats test lol--

doing it by their unit order and starting w hapiara!!

rinku is a cis lesbian, don't really have much gender/sexuality headcanons for her but she IS polyamorous w hapiara. all of them are. I don't think they all got together during high school but in a nutshell: Rinku first dated Muni, realized she liked maho and rei during university, talked it out w them and boom!!!! they're all dating! yayyyyy

muni hmmmmm..... p much the same w Rinku but I like to think it takes her a little bit to fall for people (example: maho and rei) but not enough for me to say demi-romantic, she's not against it/not interested, you just gotta make sure (for Muni) that u compliment her lots and know her boundaries. first crush was Rinku and she realized she was gay when she was playing an fps and saw a cute girl character. yep!!! it took her a bit to be ok w dating maho and rei too but she warmed up to them after a while.

mahoooo!!! demi girl she/they lesbian. she hasn't told her family but has told hapiara. think she figured out she was a demigirl when she met aoi lol. kinda just knew she was gay ever since she was a kid. had a crush on Rinku when she first met her but she decided to wait and wait until it was "too late". maho was a little sad she couldn't, y'know, confess anymore and thought she moved on from those feelings (she did not). eventually, in her first year of uni, she realizes she likes rei (oh NOOOOO) and that makes her conflicted, then oh NOOOOO muni's rlly cute too SHIIIIIT then yeah.

rei is the same w muni and rinky dink buuut it took her a WHILE to realize she was gay. pretty sure her first "crush" was esora but that died out when they didn't meet for a while. next one was rinku but she realized this pretty late, like, in the middle of hapiara's 3rd year. rinku was already w muni at the time so she was trying to make THOSE feelings die (they didn't) and then when they were gonna graduate realized she like maho and muni. she kept these feelings to herself until university when they talked it out and stuff yayyyyy.

thats enough of hapiara, onto photon!!!

saki my aroace sweetheart <3333 I think she might use some neopronouns relating to space like star/stars !! (maybe more but I don't use neos nor do I know a lot of them) I think she's not interested in having a romantic relationship at all, which saddened noa at first but now she's ok w it. I like to think saki is similar to maki from bloom into you in the sense she is interested in watching romances bloom, but not with herself, yk? she likes making sure everyone is truthful w their feelings toward each other, be it romantic or platonic. (especially since she can see them w her synesthesia) let's just say it was a little difficult for her to change w all of hapiara in their senior years.....

ibuki is aro (maybe ace, not sure yet) and CIS!!! her ass is cis. she would rather work on her muscles than date!!!! joke. to be serious, ibuki has never been interested in romance ever since she was younger, which confused her peers a lot. there were a few times in middle school where she tried to find guys hot but she just. couldn't. she thought she was gay for a bit though (can you blame her w the amount of gay people she knows?) but when she was shown...... Something by noa she realized she wasn't gay either. she realized at the end of her graduation she's aro lol.

towa..... towa...... she gives me trans girl vibes but I'm not sure. shes a lesbian for sure. her first crush was this cute actress she saw once in a movie (it was karen aijou shhhhh) and she never questioned herself until she got introduced to idols. noa is the first person she ever (genuinely) fell for (HARD) and wanted to confess first but noa beat her to it. I like to think they got engaged in their third year. towa proposed first to one-up noa ofc. she asked all the other units to help her out.

noa I feel likes fem-presenting people. a guy? sure! a girl? sure! anything else in between or more? sure! she doesn't have an exact word for it but she's queer. I like to think shes trans too depending on my mood (t4t towanoa mayhaps?). anmyway. noa confessed first and it was a whole 30 minute play. at the end she confesses to towa and it's rlly cute and towa cried. everyone else in the yoba units helped out w this.

[cosmicbrowniefan]

Hi, EJ!! I'm not sure if you've already done this, just ignore it if you have, but what are your LGBTQIA+ headcanons for all the Stranger Things characters? Like, what do you think all their orientations/gender identities are?

Thanks in advance, and I hope you're doing well!!

thanks for the ask raven!! i actually have not answered this before!

all of these are my personal opinions so take it with a grain of salt :) also, in my fics, i often have them as cis, but not always. when i really sit down to think about it, this is just what i think fits them

mike: i thought that mike was bi for the longest time, but i think i really hc him as queer now. i think he's not entirely sure what he likes, but he knows who he likes, and that's enough for him. i think mike mostly uses he/him pronouns, but is getting more comfortable with their expression and has begun using he/they to see how it feels!

will: gay. he/him. pretty straightforward lmao

dustin: i think dustin is bi, and i am a strong supporter of nb/genderfluid dustin. in order of preference, his pronouns are he/they/she, but definitely wants all of them to be used! dustin is very confident in their expression and identity imo!

lucas: i definitely hc lucas as bi. i would say he/him for pronouns. he's definitely supportive of all the nb and trans besties though

max: BI BI BI BI BI and i want to say she/her! i think max might've questioned at one point, but realized that she/her is what fits her best.

el: i'm a big fan of lesbian el personally, but i am down for headcanoning them as bi as well! i think el used she/her for a while, until they realized that there was other options, and i think they like using they/she now!

nancy: i think nance is bi, and uses she/her. she's the biggest defender of mike figuring themself and their pronouns out though, and will correct anyone who refuses to acknowledge the "they" part of his pronoun set

jonathan: ,,,,,,,,,,,,might be an unpopular opinion but i really like the idea of aro ace jonathan. i think jonathan is either he/they or they/he? although i do like jancy too, in which case, i hc jonathan as biromantic asexual

steve: bi, he/him. took him a while to be comfortable in his bi identity (bidentity, if you will), but once he figured it out, he was v v happy and learned to be more confident in that

robin: lesbian, she/her. we been knew

eddie: i like both the idea of bi and gay eddie, but i think, like mike, he just likes the term queer because he's not entirely sure what he prefers. i am a HUGE fan of the trans (ftm, he/him) hc for eddie though. he is the trans dad of the group

argyle: i think argyle is pan and uses they/them! i think they have also thought about adding she in there at times, and has jonathan use that pronoun for them as well to see how it feels

[nerdygaymormon]

Hi, Uncle David. I've been out to my best friends as a lesbian for about a year now. A few days ago, one of my very best friends told me that she thinks she might be bi. We're both LDS and in high school. She was scared and unsure so I tried my best to comfort her and give her advice in the moment. I'm just wondering if you have any advice or quotes or scriptures that I could give her that might help her or comfort her and let her know that it's okay to be queer and that God loves her?

Congratulations to your friend! Accepting this is part of who you are is a big deal, a milestone.

I'm glad your friend knew you're queer and someone she could confide in. I'm sure your friend is dealing with a lot of things in her head as she is working through what this could mean for her life.

—————————

I think bisexual could be described as having twice the capacity to love, and I think that's a beautiful thing.

—————————

I have 2 scriptures I hope will comfort your friend

Psalms 139:13-14 - This beautiful psalm sings of God’s knowledge of each person and how we’re intentionally crafted together. Every crucial part of our identity was known to God as our bodies were woven together. God wove together our gender, our sexuality, and all aspects that make up who we are.

Romans 1:20 - This verse says that we can know the attributes of our invisible God by the things that God makes. Considering all we can see around us, it testifies that God loves diversity. God loves exceptions. God loves peculiarities. God doesn’t stick to binaries. God revels in variety.

—————————

If she hasn't done it yet, encourage your friend to be open with her Heavenly Parents. They already know her orientation and love her as she is.

Trust that God is bigger, more liberal, more loving & accepting than we’ve been taught and than you might possibly now believe. Give God a chance. Let God affirm you.

—————————

Studies show that LGBTQ+ people tend to be more creative, have higher IQ’s, are better at reading the emotions of others, have more compassion, are more cooperative and have less hostility. Those are some pretty fantastic gifts that come with being queer.

—————————

When I hear things at church that trouble me, I ask these questions, I hope you and your friend find them helpful:

1) Is this consistent with the God I know?

2) Does this fit with the great commandment to love one another?

Most of the things that bother me and which speak negatively of my orientation & my future fail these simple questions.

—————————

In fact, here's 4 main points the Church teaches regarding queer people:

Feelings of same-sex attraction aren’t a choice; they’re nobody’s fault

These attractions aren’t sinful

You don’t need to change your orientation

You are welcome in the Church exactly as you are

—————————

Life isn’t easy and especially not for LGBT individuals. I'm glad she has you, someone who is safe to talk to.

One aspect of the bi experience that's different from the gay/lesbian experience is they often don't come out of the closet. When they're with a partner, people usually assume they're gay or straight (depending on the gender of the partner). Bisexuals are the largest group out of LGBTQIA+, but they're often invisible. They're more likely to know people who are out as gay or trans than they are to know people who are bi. Even though they're the largest, it can feel isolating because they don't see others like themselves.

—————————

As your friend is just at the beginning of her journey, I don't want to overwhelm her with lots of advice and links. However, one link you may want to introduce her to is the Bisexual Resource Center.

Also, here's a little play on words you can use: Bisexuals are great. They aren't gay. They aren't straight. They're graight

[buddha-in-disguise]

Discourse, Supergirl and fans.

The Supergirl situation with William Dey, is far more than about William Dey per se.

I touched on this when I first posted about David Harewood.

What I have seen, and I am still seeing is while some SuperCorp fans were annoyed about the preview for episode 12, this was also coming from a diverse section of the fandom. That David (and others) have singled out the SuperCorp fandom is both unfair, and unhelpful. But that is a different discussion altogether.

So - I am going to repeat and expand on some of what I wrote at the time to try and explain why I, (and others) have found Supergirl to be really problematic at the moment.

First of all: There is no doubt Supergirl currently has a diverse cast, inc. LGBTQ representation. 

However, all the diversity in the world means absolutely nothing if a program is seemingly only playing lip service to the characters. 

Compare and contrast with Legends of tomorrow. They have 6 women. 2 Muslim superheroes (a TV first). 5 characters are LGBTQ, including Charlie; who is recognised as gender fluid. 4 people of colour. The lead is a woman, who is bisexual, in a canon relationship with a lesbian, and is a superhero. 

They do this without it being made a big deal of, enjoyed by LGBTQ and heterosexual audience alike. But it is a huge deal for many because of that diversity, and just as importantly they haven't overloaded the cast numbers, so they all get good solid storylines through a season. A season that is also shorter than Supergirl. 

Legends are an example of how you can put in a diverse minority cast, without it becoming forced or cumbersome. It isn't without fault sure, but no program is. 

So where is Supergirl going wrong at the moment? 

Let's use William, as the crux of the problems are best shown with his character, but it isn't limited to him. I will put first - this is absolutely *not* a criticism towards Staz Nair, who I respect (& like, as far as one can from limited SM interaction). All too often the accusations are made that if you don't like a character, you hate the actor. That is categorically not true for me, nor others I've seen posting about this. Of course if anyone does hate on the actor, that is not okay.

So, back to William. I get the reason he came along in regards to Russell and so the Andrea connection. That story made sense.  What hasn't made sense - William being used as a journalist, when Nia is right there! Nia has barely had any screen time, and virtually none as a journalist; you know - her actual job. I'm not sure what the minutes on screen ratio has been this season between the two, but it has felt completely slanted towards William as a viewer, at least until now. 

First instead of Kara and Nia investigating Leviathan after William was 'exposed' in the earlier episodes, now Nia is sidelined again, because they want Kara to team up with William to investigate Lex.

Why? Why do they need that journalistic pairing, when Nia - who as a Superhero, is better placed if danger from Lex occurs. But no, they're making it about Kara having to work with William because Lex threatened to kill him. Plus Nia was being mentored by Kara. Is she no longer being mentored by Kara? Are they a team? Even if the mentoring has ended, Nia is still not being utilised as a journalist.

I am utterly baffled as to why they feel this arc makes any sense. Moreso when an already established character gets sidelined. 

I'm also getting tired of seeing anyone who sees these valid opinions about current storyline as being trolls (or the comments all SuperCorp fans are just outright haters. No - SuperCorp fans are a large diverse group, that have incredible artists, fanfic writers, and social media users. Many also multi-ship. To place a blanket statement about a whole fandom as large as SC, is hateful. All fandoms have some who are problematic, but to single out an entire group is not right). 

So back to my thoughts. An episode can have some great aspects to it, but it can also be highly problematic to some fans, & receive valid criticism or valid opinions for it. For example, the latest episode of Batwoman. The Alice/Beth story was great. The acting superb. What I found worrying was the way they made Sophie feel guilty for legitimate reasons why she had led a closeted lifestyle. That lifestyle is valid, for Sophie and many LGBTQ people, and for good reason, including keeping some people safe from harm. I felt it was a clumsy attempt for Alice to get into Sophie's mind; it could've been tackled other ways, so it felt wrong they used her sexuality as a way to achieve that. Being closeted for many literally keeps them alive. So that was one hell of a poor choice in my opinion. Yet others have made perfectly credible counter arguments that it showed the difficulties faced by many LGBTQ people. So, great episode, valid criticism/opinion from both points of view. It also highlights you can have excellent episodes, but they can have legitimate issues.

Nor does differences of opinion, as long as it is respectful, makes those voicing them a bully, no matter how much you disagree. 

At the end of this, if you don’t agree, and your opinion makes you say something that is intentionally hurtful (directly or indirectly to a person or group of people), it's a bad thing. The key word being intentionally. We all make mistakes, and responses that could've been better, & we all need to be aware of that, but if it is an intended attack, don't be surprised if others call you out for your behaviour. 

So now what in regards Supergirl?  

I know ultimately that this show is about Supergirl, but it is also about those around her as family & friends. I understand there are only so many minutes in one episode. What I don't understand is why those precious minutes are going to a character, when they have one perfectly placed to do the same role. Why they have to potentially explore another relationship, when we have one canon relationship, one canon on/off again relationship & one relationship that while isn't canon in terms of romantic, it is a big story in terms of best friends, all seemingly sidelined. Which brings me to the Kara fighting for Lena's soul aspect. Again, I am not seeing a lot of fighting for anything, except more and more fans fighting themselves and cast. 

Then you just need to look at the dislikes that teaser was given on YouTube, and compare them to previous ones. I've attached screenshots to show this.

A serious misjudgment was made by someone on how that teaser would be received, and again I will stress, this dislike hasn't just been from one area of fandom, but multiple areas. For many it wasn't just about William, but the culmination of unease that has built for a few episodes. A prime example of the straw that broke the camel's back. If you are solely focused on one area of fandom for this discourse (as many blame SuperCorp fans), you need to step back and recognise you are not allowing yourself to see the whole picture. To focus solely on one thing, rather than acknowledging the wider audience are saying this, does not make you the better fan. To dismiss it as trolls, is being dismissive of good, regular fans with legitimate questions or concerns. It is insulting to many of us.

I will be honest, I had high hopes for this season. I also knew it was likely going to be pretty confusing at times since it was given as 'our Black mirror season' and 'nothing is as it seems.' I accepted that.

However, all it seems at the moment is a jumbled mess from pre and post Crisis. They just doesn't appear to be any cohesion at all, which is making it really difficult as a viewer. Add in the changes post Crisis and it feels even more of a mess.

Of course, they could bring in more cohesive elements soon, but considering that we know episode 13 is 'It's a wonderful life,' and Alex Danvers in a later episode is wearing a Super suit - I just sense this whole 'nothing is as it seems' side we appear to be getting isn't changing any time soon, & with episodes running out, with so many strings running through at the moment, it feels really discombomulated. If by seasons end, they pull it off and you can look back and see how it's played out as a whole, I will be the first to say well done for that part. 

I do though think right now Supergirl feels chaotic beyond expectation, and no end in sight. I feel there have been too many character additions this season (particularly Andrea & William) that is taking screen time away from Kara, Alex, Nia, Lena, Kelly et al.

It feels like a mess of unnecessary pairings and the crux of the story seems to have been lost in the midst.

That is causing confusion for fans, that is also beginning to become frustration. That frustration is spilling over. Add in the genuine and extremely legitimate concerns over the LGBTQ issues that have arisen (again from far more than just SuperCorp fans), and the frustration has built even more. 

I can only hope the next couple of episodes address some of this and not complicate the mess further. 

Whatever happens, Supergirl is not doing well in terms of a storyline that is gripping for fans, that is now top heavy with regulars, taking screen time from established characters, and a social media blunder that has so far only exacerbated the simmering uncertainty being felt by many.

It might improve, and I sincerely hope it does, but they are edging into the potential for the anger felt by fans to become an all out riot if they don't stop and see where valid criticism is being given. If this season continues on in this vein, then there is going to be huge swathes of fans drifting away. The concerns are legitimate. I wish it could be seen as that.

[plague-of-insomnia]

Hi, would it be ok for me to ask how did you know you were non-binary? I'm questioning and would like to get some opinions, but no pressure to answer if this is too personal!!

So I got this ask months back, and with everything that has gone on with my health I wasn’t able to answer it... so I don’t know if the person who sent this will even see it, but since it’s pride month I figured it was a good time to get to the queer/questioning asks that have been languishing in my poor ask box/drafts...

First of all, I don’t mind questions like this; if I ever find an ask too personal I’ll usually just ignore it, but something like this I think is important especially since NB is such a... underrepresented concept, for lack of a better word, so sometimes that lack of exposure plus the very broad nature of the label can make the whole questioning process confusing and stressful.

Honestly, for a looong time I had no idea I wasn’t cis.

I didn’t know that you could be anything other than male and female; I grew up in pretty conservative Latin American immigrant family, Catholic, so the idea of homosexuality was bad enough, lol.

I was very involved in the (then called) “Gay/Straight” alliance back in high school, as we had quite a few gay and lesbian students and teachers. I had mostly queer friends, but even binary transgender people weren’t... as prominent back then. Ofc they existed, but I didn’t have as much exposure in HS, and I went to a catholic college where many gay students had to essentially be closeted—for example, (openly) gay men weren’t technically allowed in fraternities. I loved my school, but some of its views on women and LGBTQ+ people were pretty dark age stuff, so again I had no idea that gender was a broader spectrum than simply male/female, cis or trans.

As far back as at least around early puberty, I created a kind of alter ego. A character opposite my birth sex, who was unlike any other I ever created and who has stayed with me my whole life. They helped me survive my childhood/adolescence. They felt very much “me” and yet weren’t simply the person I was in actuality made into the opposite gender. More like the aspects of my self/identity I knew subconsciously.

Often, when I fantasized, I would put myself into their role. Imagine being the other gender, what their body would feel like, what sex would be like. I’d ask friends i was comfortable with about what it felt like to be the opposite gender. I felt I needed to know so that I could “feel” it too. So I could truly imagine being a gender other than my own, with different parts, different secondary sex characteristics.

Yet at the same time, I felt comfortable enough with my birth sex that I explained these moments away. I was just thinking like a writer. Curious, bc that’s my nature. I never thought I could be trans because despite the power of these feelings, the sometimes intense longing I felt to be other than I was, the thought of completely changing my body, abandoning my assigned gender, felt horrible. Like I would be losing part of myself.

I first heard the term nonbinary during Pride. I had never encountered this before, and being who I am immediately looked it up. I was floored. Gender was a spectrum? You could be both male and female??

I felt like I had been hit by lightning.

I immediately reflected on a lifetime of “queer” thoughts. About my alter ego and how I had clung so tightly to them, how often I fantasized about having parts I didn’t have (without necessarily wanting to take away parts that I already did). How I went through phases where I dressed very masculine in some points of my life and very feminine in others. How I related so strongly to certain characters over others, and other past experiences that I had always managed to discard or shelve away in “comfortable” boxes.

And I reflected on how I had always had this... shame about these thoughts and feelings, this fear that they made me a “freak,” which might be why I had always been so quick to file them away with safe labels.

Discovering that I wasn’t alone was liberating. I read about and spoke to people who identified as NB, and often found they had a similar thoughts and experiences growing up as I did, and that helped cement in my mind, without a doubt, that I was also nonbinary, that I wasn’t purely male or female, but both.

I’ve suffered with depression my entire life, and am likely bipolar (something my current therapist agrees with, though I haven’t been formally diagnosed for various reasons). And once I opened my eyes and began questioning, I discovered that a significant part of my depression was actually tied to my gender dysphoria.

Exploring my gender identity in various ways, and finally accepting that I am NB/gender fluid has made me much more content.

Now, ofc there is no one way to be non-binary. So just bc my experience doesn’t align with what you’re feeling, doesn’t mean you’re not NB yourself.

Some people don’t feel any gender at all, and wish they didn’t have any secondary sex characteristics. Some want to be purely androgynous. Some feel mostly one binary gender or another, but maybe not “fully” male or female. Some feel a mix of both, and some shift between two or more genders.

For me, I feel like I’m always partly male and partly female, though sometimes one is more dominant than the other. Sometimes I’ll have gender dysphoria so bad that looking at cis bodies can be very upsetting, or the feeling of “missing” parts I feel I have/should have is so intense it’s almost all I can think about. Yet other times I feel pretty “stable.” Sometimes I feel like I’m thinking a lot about my gender and my presentation and others I barley think about it at all, I just “am.”

I feel freer now that I have shifted names and pronouns. Like I’m finally accepting my full self.

A huge part of why I enjoy playing Animal Crossing so much is bc I can indulge my gender fluidity by playing with how I dress my character... it brings me a lot of peace I can’t always get IRL.

I hope whoever reads this finds this helpful, original anon or anyone who might be wondering if they may be NB or not.

Feel free to send other asks if you’d like, or if you know me you can DM me and we can talk privately. 💕

Happy Pride 🏳️‍🌈

[nie-rants]

Hi y'all it's me again (yeah we know) Anywho today's rant is really going to be kind of serious so stay with me here okay. So I was kind of reading this, book y'know (what's it's name) it's a book (there we go guys I can now confidently tell you it's a fic) maybe it is but essentially this fic was about an affair let me give it to you like this okay.

There's this guy(let's call him John) he hits on a guy(let's call him Jim) at a bar who's a little stiff at first but soon enough they're back at a hotel have a one night stand that's it. Jim left first before John even woke up no leaving any form of contact, no phone number, no nada. Later in the day John gets a a message from Jim on Instagram saying he'd like to keep in touch, John then thinks long and hard about,(for about a minute or so) and just decided to say yes. They keep talking like for a while then Jim just during one of their conversations just casually drops the fact that he spent the day with his in-laws like it's nothing. John was like what and eventually found out Jim was married to a lady. It shocked him, hurt him did alot of things but didn't mean the end of this relationship. Anywho that's where I think the affair officially begun.

Like that's basically the summary of the story and I know that since Jim and John are the protagonists of this story we're supposed to support them and want them to by together and bless their souls but HECK NO! like under no circumstances do I ever find or justify cheating acceptable. I know sometimes people are in relationships they don't really want to be in like they're compelled to be in but like no. I might sound like some self righteous highly pretentious prick or your some kind of Sunday school teacher who says "kill e'm with kindness" but I'm sorry I don't think I get it. Essentially cheating itself has a whole type if definition because let's face it life unlike movies isn't black and white and not everyone gets their picture perfect happy endings. Like I believe cheating on someone is a situation where you don't tell the other partner in this relationship that you're not wholly committed to them like being CRYSTAL CLEAR that you have something with someone else.

And then again I get it, y'know cause this life that we live in is messed up as fuck. Like I remember being like 8'ish and hearing all the negativity towards queer people, particularly gay people an lesbians, those were the ones I basically knew at the time, and thinking why can't a gay guy just marry a lesbian lady so they can understand each other and never have to face critism for being married or generally liking the same gender without actually giving up what they love. Like they can still secretly date and stuff.

Damn think about it, at such a young age I already was thinking about ways to hide things society didn't approve of no matter how much they didn't seem wrong to me.

Like I'm older now, but even as I grew through a those years I started realizing how much more my attraction for ladies, girls, women, people of the female gender was than for makes an did tell you it scared me I would make a comment like how pretty that lady was and like quickly glance around to make sure it wasn't too much or were people going to read into and realize I was even considering not liking guys men boys males whatever. And I like up to by I still haven't admitted to myself that I might like girls like I still tell myself that maybe I just haven't discovered what my type of guy is.

TO BE CONTINUED... (Cause the whole of this thing is too fucking long for how short we agreed these rants would always be) sorry😬 (so wait for part two please to upload please

your's truly nie's "annoying as fuck"🙄 editor) And me nie,😕 who actually wrote it, anyways byeeeeeee👋. (🙁Yeah what she said)

[so-chaos-killed-the-dinosaurs]

this is a dumb question, but what exactly is the "point" of the characters (particularly the Heathers, i'm assuming) that the new TV show is fucking up with their redesigns. i just wanna make sure i understand the issues here.

Ok the Heather’s are suppose to be the “popular girls”. They are the people who have the characteristics of what society considers to be beauty and they mock anyone who doesn’t met those standards.

Being skinny and making fun of people who aren’t. Caring more about their status standing than their grades, making fun of people for being geeks or nerd. Mocking people for not meeting what is considered the norm in society, aka being along the LGBT spectrum. (I mean damn JD and Veronica staged Ram and Kurt’s deaths as them dying because they where gay. And expecting them to be the mockery of the school. So making fun of people for being gay and the like.) Wearing clothes that are considered in at the time and that highlight their gender. Aka anything the Heathers wear which was all considered in at the time and stylish.

Heck the colors where a power symbol recognized by them. The queen of the school wore red. Both Chandler and Duke established this in the movie.

And then the first promo pics lacks the signature colors and shows them in weird clothes that would have gotten them weird looks and mocked at my school. The first promo pic is suppose to be thought over carefully. This is the first real image people are getting of your product. This is the hook that should help spark a person’s interest in your product. Get them thinking and hopefully interested in what you are making. And if the first image alone is already putting off a good portion of the fandom. Then you know you have an issue.

They only care (especially Chandler) about holding their social status. Veronica herself has said that she’s using her High IQ to pick out lip gloss and trying to figure out how many kegers she can hit before curfew.

Chandler gets pissed at Veronica for not holding up to the standard she expected for her at the party. (Sleeping with a guy she just met). Chandler certainty would never let herself be fat because it would go against her standards.

They are suppose to be a symbol of what society considers beautiful. And yes they are doing a modern version. But what sparks JD’s hatred for them. Is that he observes them (the Heathers, Kurt and Ram) mocking people for being different. He has seen this all before. Every school he goes to he sees it again and again. A never ending chain of bullying. He watched the Heathers make a mockery of Martha in the cafeteria. Making fun of the fat kid. (Now the show has a SKINNY Martha.) He watches Ram and Kurt chase down those nerdy boys and says stuff like “you piece of shit fag” and trying to get the kid to say “I like to suck big dicks”. Being gay wasn’t a good or popular thing. It lead to you getting bullied.

And yeah times now are a bit more accepting. But I went to a big school. I knew a lot of the LGBT kids because I was friends with a lot of them. I ran in circles that had a lot of them. (Anime Club, Art and Theater related things, Even Band.) I knew the spots where you could go after school and find a group of kids and a majority of them would fall into the LGBT spectrum. None of them where along the popular side at my school. Knowing my school they never would be.

By having the Heathers fall into the very groups they are suppose to mock. It goes against their characters. You can’t have an openly gender-fluid person or Lesbian mock other LGBT people. Yes not all LGBT people are nice. I’ve met plenty of assholes who are LGBT. But being LGBT and being the top dog at school and mocking other LGBT people at school. That doesn’t fit. A LGBT person couldn’t come up to me and make fun of me for being a girl who gets crushes on others girls. Because I’d just be like “so what you’re a guy that’s into guys. Or so what so are you. Etc.” It doesn’t have the same sting it does when coming from a non LGBT person.

A well known girl at my school was obese. But if she came up to me and made fun of my weight it wouldn’t work because she was heavier than me. Her insults could be fired right back at her. Now if a person in extremely good shape where to mock my size then that would hurt.

On top of that having all three of the Heathers fall into a minority but none of the other main characters. That also just seems wrong and like they are baiting people for brownie points.

Here are some changes to make the characters more diverse that would have worked.

��Making JD or Martha a race other than Caucasian. My favorite version of JD is Dan’s. Dan isn’t Caucasian. Yes I love Slater and Ryan. But image wise and art wise I love it when people base their JD around Dan. Also making them another race wouldn’t hurt their characters at all.

•Making Martha Bi or Pan. Martha’s crush is apart of the story and how she gets mocked so she still has to be into guys. But that doesn’t mean she couldn’t be Bi or Pan.

•Making JD along the Ace/Aro spectrum. I personally headcanon JD as Demisexual Hetroromantic. JD doesn’t seem like the type of character to honestly be that all into sex. Yes he had sex with Veronica. But I wouldn’t see it as interfering with the point of his character if he only had an interest in people after having a connection. I don’t think JD would just sleep with any girl. That he would have to have a general interest and connection with them. And yes typically Demisexual people (in my experience) need a longer time frame. But part of Heathers… well insane story is that it happens so fast.

•Making Veronica Bi. it wouldn’t mess with her character purpose and could give them that diverse cast they are looking for.

•Not making Martha skinny.

Now I wouldn’t want them to make all three of them minorities. As I feel likeIt might give the baiting feel it has with the Heathers. But if they did like 1 Heather & 2 of the others. Or 2 Heathers and 1 of the others. And making it seem like only minorities are mocked and non-minorities can’t be mocked doesn’t sit right with me. And I feel that’s how it would come off is all the bully’s werent minorities while the bullied kids were. As I know it isn’t true and I’ve watched people who fall into minorities categories make fun of people who don’t.

Idk three just feels like a good number.

And by 1 or two of the Heathers I mean their race. As I don’t think them not being Caucasian in a modern heathers would be much of a problem. In all productions of the musical I have seen at least one of the Heathers. (Usually Duke) isn’t caucasian. So having one of the Heathers a different race wouldn’t be an issue.

Oh and here is an idea. They go to a freaking school. You have cast characters you could use to get that diverse character cast you are looking for without messing with a character’s role. You want an LGBT character, I’ve said this before, but try having a girl have a thing for one of the Heathers. Like they did in the musical. Show her confessing to one of the Heathers. Then show how they treat her. Show them making fun of her or treating her poorly. Show me these asshole Heathers that are suppose to be an example of what is wrong with society. Show me Bi Veronica and them learning she is and Chandler pushing her to hide that side of her. That would be in character.

Show them making fun of a trans kid and that being part of that fuels JD to kill them. Because that would fit.

Show the negative consequences of what the Heathers do. Show how it effects people. When the show ends show Veronica trying to make things better. Show her approaching some of those kids and working with them.

Also for a racially diverse cast try having kids who aren’t just Chinese, Japanese or black. Try having Cuban characters or Native American or Polynesian or Puerto Rican, Indian, etc. Branch out to other races. Because while black and Asian may be two of the other top races after white in America, they aren’t the only ones.

I’m doing this on mobile. So sorry if it is long or runs together weird. I’m not always the best at wording this. @power-of-innocence tends to do a better job than me.

Edit: I would like to add that the reason the LGBT kids of my HS would never be popular wasn’t like due to my high school being really homophobic. (One of the most beloved seniors when I was a sophomore was an open lesbian.) But mostly due to the sheer size of my school. We had between 3,000 and 4,000 students each year. And 6 different lunch periods. (Technical 3 but for the 9th and 10th graders it was 6) It was impossible to fit the whole school in the cafeteria or gym. We didn’t really have popular kids. The closest you would get to it is kids whose names were well known. Like people really active with school related stuff. Like being apart of the student council or on the Cheerleading squad. (I actually knew many of those girls and they were all really nice.) Also having known those kids they weren’t the type of kids to ever be popular due to their personalities. They a lot where into unpopular subjects and/or also feel into the emo/goth categories. So a lot of them wouldn’t have been popular due to that. But even then the popular kids at my school weren’t mean. Most of them where popular because they where really nice and a lot of people just naturally liked them. Sorry just wanted to add that.Edit: At the time I made this every time I heard Martha mentioned people were saying that they were making her skinny, this maybe incorrect but I’m still not 100% sure. It’s still a horrible show regardless though. Just wanted to correct that.

[skys813]

Discovery

Chapter 5 (Arc Finale)

Me: Before we start, is there anything you'd like to say, Anxiety?

Anxiety: *gives me a hard look and then looks away* No.

Me: I see. Let's begin, then. Over the past couple of weeks we've been struggling to deal with a new possibility. I'm aware that in every happy reality Research conjured for us we were in a romantic relationship with implied sexual undertones. The new possibility suggests that we don't find a romantic or sexual partner in the future. Up until now it's only been a vague suggestion, however, after further examination, I thought it would be best to bring it to the council's attention as a legitimate possible plan for the future.

Anxiety: I don't see why this is relevant given that Sexuality is obviously a lesbian. Haven't we been over this already?

Me: Actually, we haven't. That was a suggestion you made, not a fact of life. Which brings us to our first issue; determining Sexuality's true orientation. I'd like to bring some memories to the front if you don't mind. Let's start with a few questions I asked after I first learned what sex was. "Do I have to? Can I be married without doing it? Can I have kids without doing it?" Our first reaction was aversion. Of course, that's normal at the beginning, but those feelings never went away. Instead, it changed to reluctant acceptance that this is what would happen to us. The truth is that we never felt sexual attraction towards anyone, regardless of their gender. We knew instinctively we wouldn't like sex in any form, but we pushed the feeling down and convinced ourselves that it'd be fine and we'd just have to do this for love.

Love: Is that not true? The only lifelong bond that allows us to be as invested and dedicated as we wish to be is a romantic one. Friendship can be strong, but it's not the same, Sky. We would not be prioritized the same way, you can't expect that of someone. If they have a romantic relationship with someone else, they have to prioritize that person above you, regardless of how close you get. Only a romantic bond guarantees you that level of trust and faith in each other. The exclusivity.

Me: I understand and accept that we wouldn't always be prioritized above the person's romantic relationship, but the rest is simply not true. It's possible. Research, if you'd be a dear, and pull up the definitions of a Queerplatonic Relationship and a Zucchini.

Research: A Queerplatonic relationship is defined as "a committed relationship that is neither romantic nor sexual in nature but is based on an emotional bond beyond friendship, often between aromantic and/or asexual people" (AVEN, General FAQ, Definitions). "A zucchini is a partner in a queerplatonic relationship. The commitment level between partners is often considered to be similar to that of a romantic relationship, but with platonic love. Zucchinis may be of any romantic or sexual orientation" (AVENwiki).

Me: Thank you, darling. As you can see, it's entirely possible. In fact, it's so possible and has been felt and established by enough people that there are terms to describe the relationship we want. That's what we were looking for all these years, not some romantic relationship, much less a sexual one.

Anxiety: I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you've only proven sexuality is ace. Romance has been on board waiting for Prince to show up since day one. And we already agreed that Sexuality's orientation would be irrelevant to us in such a scenario as we would want him to be fully satisfied in the relationship.

Me: Romance hasn't actually been very vocal about her desires, she's been going along with whatever you and Research determined would be the best scenario. Again, let's pull up some memory files. First, there was her "crush," which she picked out for us much like one would pick out fruit at a stand, and is also a shared experience among other aromantics. We were never jealous of his relationship with our best friend or hurt by it, but instead helped them with arguments and were happy for them when they were happy. She shies away from any possible romantic partners under the guise of obeying our parents and religion when we all know full well we're stubborn and reckless enough that if we had ever desired such a relationship we would've acted on it by now. But we haven't.

Anxiety: Because no one has been worth the risk! We just haven't had the chance to meet the right person and it was never the right time before. We were too young.

Me: No one? When was the last time you saw Romance actually consider anyone as a potential partner?

Anxiety: That's because we're waiting for Prince, no one else is worth considering.

Me: That makes no sense and you know it. We can't find him if we never look. And Romance isn't interested enough to look in the first place. The fact of the matter is that she hasn't been active since we finally settled comfortably in our relationship. We might not use fancy terminology, but that's the nature of the bond we established with our best friend. The meaning we agreed upon for the relationship is the same as the one listed for queerplatonic relationships.

Anxiety: It's just too risky, it's irresponsible to put all your eggs in one basket like that. Friendships are fragile and fleeting-

Me: So is every other relationship. Friendships are not less than other bonds, they're equal and valid and they are what you make them. I believe in this one.

Anxiety: Fine. Don't listen to reason, whatever. But you might want to consider Love's needs and that certain aspects of our dreams would be off the table right off the bat if we went along with this madness, such as children and the home life we were so desperate to create one day. That's a dream you can't deny. You can't adopt children in a platonic relationship, so unless you plan on being a hypocrite and going out to have sex, praying not to catch an STD, and hoping to get pregnant that way, children would be completely off the table for us.

Me: First of all, it wouldn't be hypocritical, asexual people can have sex. But I do agree that that option is extremely unappealing all around. However, it wouldn't be as big a deal as you're making it out to be. Our motherly instincts can still be fulfilled if we add the found family element; we'd build a group of friends and mother them just like we used to. Love, how do you feel about that?

Love: I want children. We've always wanted children, I can't let go of that dream overnight. Mothering some friends isn't the same, I don't know if it'll be enough. I can agree to build new visions and scrap the old ones and incorporate Sexuality and Romance's identities, but you can't ever expect me to stop wanting children. I'm sorry.

Me: Don't be, it's who you are. Thank you for being so understanding. Research, what do you think?

Research: To be absolutely frank with you, I'm glad this is who we are. No husband to tie us down, fewer responsibilities, financial independence. It spells out a lot of opportunities to explore the world that we might not have had otherwise. And, no offense, Love, but children are expensive as hell. Our horizons just quadrupled without that financial and emotional burden. I vote yes.

*an awkward pause where Anxiety fumes on the side and refuses to say anything*

Me: .......Anxiety?

Anxiety: I'm the one who played the dreams. Are you happy now? You were right all along, and I was wrong. We're aro ace.

Me: I know.

Anxiety: *head snaps up* What?! You knew? How? And how long have you known? Why didn't you say anything?

Me: I think the meeting's done now, let's continue this privately. Love, Research, please act according to the council's decision and inform everyone of the verdict. Thank you. Anxiety, walk with me, darling.

Then.....

Sexuality blinks sleepy eyes open and looks around. Someone is by her bedside that she's only ever seen from afar. She tentatively lifts her hand and runs her fingers through Libido's hair. Her birthmate. What was she doing here? Libido stirs and murmurs something incoherent in her sleep before slowly opening her eyes to look back at Sexuality. Libido smiles softly.

Libido: You're finally awake. *jerks up frantically* Oh shit, you're awake! Oh my God, how're you feeling? Are you okay? Does anything hurt? Who do you want me to get for you? Do you want some water? Of course you want some water, what am I thinking-

Sexuality grabs Libido's sleeve as she makes to get up. Libido looks back, concerned and on the verge of panic. Sexuality shakes her head and tugs Libido back to her side.

Libido: Are you sure you don't want me to get you some food and water? You've been out of it for a while.

Sexuality shakes her head again and tugs Libido back down into her chair.

Libido: Okay, then. Um. Let's see, how do you usually communicate with Romance?

Sexuality: *gestures in sign language*

Libido: Oh, yeah, that makes sense. I don't know any signs though. Do you want me to get Research? They might be able to translate. Actually, they'll know what to do about all of this and what you need and-

Sexuality grabs and squeezes Libido's hand and she falls silent. Sexuality smiles briefly and shuts her eyes.

Libido: Oh. You're tired, yeah, that makes sense, too. Sorry about all that. Go back to sleep, sweetie. I'll notify the others when you're ready.

It was a while later before Libido realized that Sexuality had been fully aware and responsive during those few minutes without throwing up. On top of that, she'd made contact with Libido without any noticeable harm befalling her. Sexuality was, at long last, fully recovered.

Meanwhile.....

I walk with Anxiety down to his room. It resembles a library, but instead of books, there are notebooks, each and every one of them filled to the brim with scribbles and half-finished thoughts.

Anxiety: Welcome to my lair, oh annoying one. Have a seat.

Me: I think we need to discuss why you're so against us being aro ace.

Anxiety: I already made it very clear-

Me: The real reason, Anxiety.

Anxiety glowers at me for a few minutes. I don't look away and he finally backs down grudgingly.

Anxiety: *sigh* Do you remember what we were like when we were a kid? What we thought of ourself?

Me: How can I forget? I was the brattiest, most arrogant child I've ever had the displeasure of having to think about.

Anxiety: *shakes his head* I mean before Prince, specifically. We were in a low place and we had accepted that we would die old, bitter, and alone. I just don't want us to go back to that again. It was devastating enough the first time around for all of us. At least like this, it would've only hurt Sexuality and Romance.

Me: Anxiety, listen to me. We are not who we were five years ago. That vision of the future was built on self-hatred and hopelessness, that's why it looked like a doomsday vision. This time we're rebuilding to take care of ourself and every aspect of who we are. We don't have to sacrifice Sexuality and Romance to be happy. We can just build a future that makes all of us happy by accommodating them too. We would've never been happy if we'd tried to suppress them.

Anxiety: *shakes his head stubbornly* We can revert right back to where we were, not enough has changed, not nearly enough. I've just collected more reasons to hate ourself since then, there's no guarantee it won't happen.

Me: *eyes sharp, trying to casually scan the notebooks* There is one thing we could always do..... If you'd allow us, I mean.

Anxiety: *torn between hope and trepidation* Like what exactly?

Me: Burn them.

Anxiety: *stands up and positions himself between me and the nearest shelf* Get out. Get out right now!

Me: *stays seated calmly with my eyes fixed on his* Only the notebooks where you write all our faults. The memories would all stay intact. All your other notebooks would stay exactly where they are. I'm only suggesting we let go of the guilt. Those notebooks are as old as I am, cataloging every tiny mistake we've ever made, every embarrassing thing we've ever done, every regret. You're absolutely right, we can't move forward until we've let go of all of that. We have to move forward, Anxiety. The council has come to a decision. Something has to give or we really might revert back to what we were before.

Anxiety: Then we would've learned nothing! Do you want to repeat all the mistakes we've made?

Me: A gentle reminder that you're the reason we made some of the more serious mistakes.

Anxiety: Don't you think I know that? That's why I refuse to let go of them. If we never forget, if we never stop regretting them and feeling guilty for them, then we'll make up for it and we'll never do those things again.

Me: Darling, that's ridiculous. You do realize that you've written down things as small as chopping the wrong vegetable by accident at our job, right? And the serious errors in judgment are almost all from our childhood, from years ago. We've grown, we've changed, and we're past that now. We can't stay this way forever, hating ourselves for every tiny inconvenience we've ever caused anyone. Please, Anxiety, we have to burn those notebooks.

Anxiety: No. You don't understand. We can't! No! *clutches at his head and his breathing becomes shallow and rapid* I can't. You can't. I can't.

Me: Anxiety? *gets up slowly* Are you okay?

Anxiety: No! We can't! We'll never be good enough. We'll never be happy. You can't erase the past. We're horrible, can't you see that? So horrible. Horrible. Horrible!

I notice a smoky shape formed behind Anxiety, whispering in his ear and grinning at me. The time for conversation is over. I carefully sidestep Anxiety who is too wrapped up in his sobbing to notice my movement and try to punch at the shadow. My hand goes right through it. Right, then. Those notebooks need to burn. Now. I step behind them slowly. The creature turns to watch me but continues whispering to Anxiety. I reach for a random notebook to test out the waters. No reaction besides a widening smirk. Good. I quickly scan through the notebooks until I find the section I need before looking up again. The shadow is still, watching me with a contemplative frown while Anxiety drops to hug his knees and hide his face as he cries. I collect the notebooks loosely in my arms, carefully noting how tense the shadow is getting. It stands between me and the door. I had a feeling it would find a way to stop me if it wanted to, smoke or not. I edge my way back to the table and set the notebooks down. The creature relaxes. I sit down and pretended to start reading one. After a few moments, it loses interest in me and goes back to tormenting Anxiety. It starts to whisper faster, progressively more aggressive. When it looks to be distracted enough, I grab the notebooks and run. I hear a shriek of anger not long after but it doesn't follow me. I run and run until I reach the common room and dump the notebooks on the floor.

Me: Research, get over here! I need lighter fuel! Love, if you could grab a lighter for me, that'd be great! Now!

They get up from the couch without a word and go about getting the requested items as I start tearing the notebooks apart. By the time they get back, I've torn haphazardly through the notebooks and stacked them in a hollow pyramid shape. Research douses them all and I give Love a handful of paper to light before I carefully place them under the rest and watch the fire spread. Anxiety rushes into the room with a much-faded version of the shadow I'd seen behind him, but by then even the topmost of the pyramid had caught fire. The creature shrieks and Anxiety faints into Research's arms.

Research: *sighs* I should've known something like this would happen. I'll take him to the infirmary.

Love: What just happened? Who's Research taking to the infirmary and what did we just set on fire?

Me: Don't worry, Love, everything's going to be okay now. C'mon, let's sit down and I'll tell you everything.

Then.....

Romance jerks awake gasping and clutching at her neck and chest and starts coughing. Sensuality rushes into her room and gives her a crushing hug.

Sensuality: You're alive! You're awake! Oh thank God, I won't be left with just Aesthetic for company!

Aesthetic: Hey! I can hear you, you know. And good grief, get off her before you really kill her. Welcome back, Romance. How're you feeling?

Romance: *gestures for water*

Sensuality: I got you, just a second. *runs out of the room*

Aesthetic: *hands Romance her board and marker* Figured you'd have a lot to say after being out of it for so long. Wanna elaborate on the whole "help Anxiety" message you left? Cause it really didn't help, for the record. What'd you want us to do, tie you and Sexuality up and dump you in the basement for him?

Romance rolls her eyes as Sensuality comes back in and accepts a glass of water with a quick nod of thanks. She downs the whole glass in three giant gulps and sets it down before relaxing back against her pillows a bit. She starts writing.

You're both idiots, for the record. I bet you didn't even try to figure out what I meant, just sat around worrying as usual. It's alright, someone must've figured it out since I'm awake now. We'll all hear the story in detail, I'm sure. Right now, though, I'd much rather discuss Sexuality. Is she okay?

Sensuality: Well......I mean, she's definitely safe now, we made sure of it, right Aesthetic?

Aesthetic: *nods her head with a smile* Don't worry, Romance, we took care of our little sister. She's safe.

Romance: *relaxes a bit more*

Good. At least you did something right. Who's guarding her? Libido, right?

Sensuality: *shocked* Yeah, actually, how'd you know? I thought you'd be upset.

Romance: *smiles* *writes*

They were never meant to be apart. They're different, but they're still birthmates. You know how strong that bond is. They'll figure it out. They just need time. We all do.

[probablysapphic]

Hi! So recently I figured out that I like girls, and it didn't take me much. What bothers me very much now is whether I even like boys. I know the self-discovery process is very time-consuming, but not being sure of my sexual identity bugs me really bad. TL;DR - I don't know if I'm bi or a lesbian. Also, is there a name for a woman attracted only to women and genderqueer people, but not men? Much love xx

Hey there!

I’m so proud of you already, congratulations :)

Haha, as if I knew. I have a gay or bi tag that you might wanna check out, also going through my compulsory heterosexuality tag might help you (there’s so many great resources there, I can’t stop recommending it, I’m quite proud of this amazing collection of these posts stuffed with resources and advice). My questioning tag is also pretty nice. And the one about attraction. And labels. Those posts cover every advice I could give you.If you ever wanna have someone to talk to about those things you mentioned - please, seriously, feel free to chat with me/private message me :)

For being attracted to women and genderqueer people:

There are broad terms like wlw or sapphic which basically mean a woman/woman-aligned person attracted to women/women-aligned people (you can use that no matter if you’re identifying as a lesbian or bi/pan/ply).

[Disclaimer: The following things are my current stand of information, which I mainly got from this site so if something is wrong or inappropriate or offensive - please tell me, I don’t mean them to be but I’m not educated enough on things that involve gender/being genderqueer/anything other than cis for that matter, so saying something that’s incorrect or offensive is very possible even if I don’t mean to. I’m eager to learn and educate myself, though.]

Something that needs to be said is that you’re not a lesbian if you’re genuinely (I know that’s hard to figure out, I hope you still know what I mean) attracted to people who are identifying as men or men-aligned people. When your partner/the person you’re attracted to isn’t comfortable with being seen as something else than your boyfriend/a man/man-aligned person, then you’re not a lesbian, you know? (I think?) So then you’re bi/pan/ply maybe, whichever label feels most comfortable. Bi for example means attraction to two or more genders so if you know you’re attracted to girls but your partner feels like that’s not their gender (doesn’t have any ties to womanhood etc, I hope I phrased that correctly), you can identify as bi.

But if it’s important to you that your partner/the people you’re attracted to aren’t men/men-aligned at all then lesbian is okay. However, if they don’t want to be seen as your girlfriend/a woman-aligned person due to not identifying as such, then lesbian isn’t the right fit for you, probably? It’s a very personal thing.

So I guess it comes down to how your partner wants to be seen and if you’re still attracted to them if they’re men/men-aligned.If your partner only agrees with boyfriend as a descriptor and you’re attracted to them/want to genuinely be with them, then you’re not a lesbian.If they don’t want to be connected to neither man or woman then I honestly have no clue, my advice would be talk with them about it and decide what’s most comfortable for both of you since neither of you would want the other to feel invalidated in their gender/sexuality.

Gender (same as sexuality) is complicated and a spectrum anyways so if right now you’re like “no men ever”, then lesbian is alright, if you find yourself attracted to someone who’s a man or in some ways men-aligned or something similar in the future then it’s totally valid to change your label if that feels right for you.I think there are some ground rules when it comes to all of that but sometimes the lines can be very blurry.(Again, that’s all just what I read, so don’t quote me on anything.)I hope that’s somewhat understandable and correct.

I wish you a wonderful day and if anyone has additions, don’t be afraid to comment! (And anon? Don’t be afraid to chat with me :D)

EDIT: This post is great, read it.

[my-autistic-things]

I feel like I'm gonna regret replying to this, but I'm gonna do it anyways. I wanted to talk about this and respond to one of these comments so why not this one

If you "feel" like the opposite gender, you are transgender. If you want to make the dysphoria argument that's been done to death, little kids often don't experience dysphoria until they reach puberty because their secondary sex characteristics haven't developed yet. There is also a lot of confusion and misconception (even in the DSM) about what specifically gender *dysphoria* is; is it part of genderal gender incongruence? Only physical discomfort? How extreme does the disconnect and discomfort to your anatomic sex have to be? Does psychological and social disconnect and discomfort not matter even if it is causing distress?

Regardless of dysphoria/discomfort, doesn't a little kids happiness matter? If a little kid wants to try out a different identity because they are mildly uncomfortable, tired of their current one, or think trying out a new name would be super and totally cool, shouldnt they have the freedom to explore? There is so much stigma surrounding gender, but it's the same thing as though the little kid is going by a new nickname, dressing up in a superhero costume every day, or even having a new favorite color they have to be wearing all the time.

This book, is no way, at all, advocating for biological interventions or body modifications. It's not even advocating for kids to explore their gender identity. It's givings kids the education about different gender identities so that they might grow up knowing there is other options. If I knew that being trans even was a thing growing up, I would have been so relieved to know I wasn't alone. I grew up not even knowing that lesbians existed. When I learned about being gay (mlm) I was honestly shocked, and my little baby research mind was already spinning with "omg I wonder if this phenomenon of liking your same gender can also be observed in girls too?" Months later when I discovered that wlw was totally a legit thing, I was even more unbelievably shocked. If I knew that nonbinary existed, I would have come out as nonbinary a long Long LONG time ago because I would have been able to identify my feelings of "definitely not a girl but idk if I'm a boy but I guess that's the only other option so yeah I'm a boy then". I'm happy I was able to start testosterone so early (at 15) and it saved my life, but I had years of therapy and wanting this before I started. I don't think that any trans kid should be able to start testosterone or estrogen at any age, there should be a waiting period, and there should be a therapist recommendation that the kid had really thought it through. It's a massive life decision that honestly, I feel lucky I don't regret it at all bc I've truely changed so much since then as a person I see 100% why parents don't want their teens making this decision without careful consideration.

Also, the entire point of puberty blockers is to block puberty from happening. It's literally given to kids to put their puberty on hold until they are old enough to be more confident in how they want their body to develop. It's not a long term solution, but it's given for kids to question their gender in a critical period so that surgeries don't /need/ to happen just a few years later. No doctor, in any radical society, is going to preform a masectomy on a 14 year old. In the very most basic logical reasoning, kids are not done developing yet. If the kid has not been on hrt for an extended period of time, they will continue to develop breast tissue. If I stop testosterone right now, my breasts, post top surgery, will grow. This is a big issue rn as I'm trying to decide if I want a complete historectomy or not bc I might need to stop T for health reasons. Kids are also too young to consent to body modification surgeries. The youngest age I've heard proposed to lower the age limit to is 16. I got my top surgery at 17, with the following reasons: (1) I was going through hormone therapy for over 3 years, (2), I was on testosterone for 2 years, (3), I had repeatedly been going to my doctors wanting top surgery for years even before hrt, (4), I had a surgeon who worked on males with gynoclamastia and knew how important a masectomy is to young boys, and (5), the most important reason for insurance companies to cover top surgery in people under 18, binding was causing serious rib and back issues that were causing/did cause irreprible harm.

This is all completely besides the point of this book, though. This book is a cute introduction to gender variance. It normalizes being trans so that when little kids who are cis meet a trans person they will know what that means and can already have practiced being respectful.

I haven't deleted this comment or blocked you this because it wasnt outright hateful, but I will if there is a hateful or irate openly transphobic response. I don't mind mild discourse or disagreements on this blog, as long as people are respectful and don't spread hate. I am deeply saddened to see how many of my followers I've already had to block due to this post but I'm very glad they won't be interacting anymore.

Just a reminder, anyone can interact as long as you aren't a dick. Being transphobic, especially when little kids are involved, most certainly is classified as being a dick.

Part of my job is processing all the new incoming books and putting our property stamp on them and barcodes, so I get to also see all the adorable new kid's books too with wonderful gorgeous art in them but ANYWAYS THIS NEW ONE CAME IN AND

"It Feels Good To Be Yourself. A book about gender identity" written by Theresa Thorn and illustrated by Noah Grigni. The cover shows the four main characters, one is a transgender girl, two are nonbinary in different ways, and one is a cis boy who is the little brother to the trans girl.

I typically don't read the kids books even when they are super cute but this one I HAD to read. So I start reading. And I just--

Here's a few pages: (short image description below)

Quick image description: Above are 5 pictures I took of pages that I really liked and made me extra happy. The first two are back to back pages of the book's introduction of JJ, who is a wheelchair user and is "neither a girl or a boy" and uses they/them pronouns. This is the text from the next two back to back pages depicting the four friends playing outside and coloring on the sidewalk: "Some kids don't feel exactly like a girl or a boy -- they feel like neither. Some kids feel like their gender identity isn't always the same -- it's often changing." [Next page] "And even with all these possible ways to be, some kids don't feel like any of the words they know fit them exactly right. There are a never-ending number of ways to be yourself in the world." The last page shows Ruthie after she came out to her parents as transgender. Her whole family (mom, dad, little brother, her, and a dog on the side) are hugging. The text reads "Oops! Ruthie was a girl all along -- they just didn't know it at first." End ID.

SO OBVIOUSLY IM ALMOST SOBBING AT WORK NOW OMG

This book is absolutely beautiful and so sweet and I encourage everyone to go see if they can borrow it at their library. It's a quick 2-3 min read, maybe 15 if you start getting emotional like my queer little heart did. I'm assuming there's a regular print version more widely available, and maybe a LT version too, and if my Hawaii library has a copy of the braille version I'm guessing others already have it too.

OH AND HERE'S THE BACK COVER I DIDNT NOTICE UNTIL AFTER I PROCESSED IT AND THIS PART REALLY GOT ME OKAY (text written below)

"No matter what your gender identity is, you are okay exactly the way you are. And you are loved."