#(I do think she knows on some level she's being selfish. I also think she'll be able to justify it to herself.)

[teleportationmagic]

Spinning in my head what happens if after Steph comes back, if she doesn't do the whole assassins thing with Tim. If instead, we focus on the process of coming back to life, of meeting her mom, of the guilt and grief left behind in her absence, and then - Bruce dies.

Would Tim invite her with him? Would the fact that she kept herself hidden for a year while he grieved be too much for him, especially considering the he was spiraling? And even if he did, when she's offered Batgirl, would she go with him? Because I genuinely don't think she would.

[hwnglx]

for anon with the red heart ❤️

winter's reputation among idols

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

female idols

female idols see winter as a go-getter. there is this perception of her being very charismatic, and knowing how to charm people in order to get her way. like she just has this natural appeal that she can turn on, and it can instantly get her anything she wants. they believe it can get very fake, she just plays people to her advantage in their eyes.

a lot of female idols also think she's incredibly eager, to an excessive extent. they believe she's a bit of a spoiled and entitled brat. she doesn't know how to appreciate what she's given, and therefore is never really satisfied. in their eyes winter can get selfish and harsh with her words, and constantly expects the best treatment only, because that's what she's used to. i can see many of them believing that sm idols in general, but especially aespa, have a huge advantage by being in the right company at the right time. they think that winter also benefits from that privilege, however is so deep in her delusion that she isn't aware of it.

female idols think that anyone could've gone that far if they had a big company like sm pushing them the way they do, and being so overly protective of their image. they think that she's just a great product of marketing. someone who appears to be this perfect and likable sweetheart, but is very vain and full of herself behind closed doors.

i can sense a big disconnect to a good portion of girls who look at her in a pretty prejudiced manner and judge her on a surface-level, without even getting to know her. she has an arrogant and inaccessible image, which seems to have spread throughout a lot of the community. they just form opinions on her without even talking to her personally. there's also this vibe of thinking her whole 😇 persona just not being representative of who she actually is, because she just appears too perfect to many idols. (so surprisingly similar to wonyoung) like “she's always smiling and putting on this lovely act on cam but doesn't even talk to us off camera, what a bitch.” is what it's giving. (jeez these girls are ruthless)

male idols

male idols' perceptions of winter seem to vary more. some of them seem to look at her as a genuine sweetheart, who has very gentle and pleasant energy. they think that she's someone who beyond all the gossip and shit talk, is sincerely nice. like she truly doesn't resemble the image some people seem to have of her. i can see some male idols meeting her and being surprised at how friendly and personable she is.

however, some male idols also seem to carry a sense of mistrust towards her, and i think a lot of that (plus the entirety of female idols' apparent misconception) just comes from her being very protective and distant around most people. they think she's all nice and polite when you approach her, but it's incredibly difficult to actually get close to her. she just doesn't engage in much conversation outside what is needed for professional purposes, and prefers to keep a more intimate and tight circle. there is this huge vibe of, just not really knowing who she actually is. so naturally, many of them start forming opinions and making judgements of winter based on what they think she could be, or what they want her to be. she for sure has this unapproachable and cold image to most male idols. many of them can't figure her out.

they also think that, she's just very focused on herself and her own ambitions. she doesn't concern herself with anyone else's business, because she puts much determination into herself. it's almost like, she'll engage with someone if she feels like it'll be to her advantage, but stay distant if it doesn't serve her in any way. male idols think she behaves in a very calculated manner and exactly knows what she's doing, and how she needs to act in certain instances. they think she might be hiding a lot of her more fierce and driven sides for most people not to see. there might be talks and gossip of her saying some mean stuff to people behind the scenes.

[unheavenlybody]

xxx whining abt my friend AGAIN

decided not to send a draft of a breakup text to my friend yet cuz i fear i am being too hasty and impulsive with this. but i rly don't know what to do... i feel very lost and i dont want to end a 8-9 year friendship over this. but we've already talked about it once a couple months ago and i dont rly feel like anything has changed. i am just worried that she is going to leave first and in my mind i'd rather rip the bandaid off myself and spare myself more prolonged pain lol.

i think the two of us have extremely different social needs and expectations/wants out of a "best" friendship and i'm not sure its something that can be reconciled?? like we may just be 2 fundamentally different ppl and aren't compatible anymore. i think it would be unfair of me to expect her to change, cuz she is a very introverted person that likes her alone time, or so she says. she also is busy with work, which i understand. she just seems completely chill/unbothered with only hanging out once every 2-3 months, sometimes longer, and virtually never talking via phone or text (cuz she doesn't respond when i reach out LOL). i want to be sensitive to her comfortability levels, her social battery, and take into account that there other ppl and things that she has going on in her life. like ik i'm not the center of the universe u know what i mean?... but it also sucks to miss my friend so so much and feel like im the only one that seems to mind our lack of contact, that when we eventually hang out months later she'll tell me about all these hangouts that she's been having with other people, and that it takes her several days or weeks to respond to a simple text and then she offers no explanation. i dont feel like i am asking for much, but yet i still feel guilty for even daring to feel unfulfilled by our friendship. i just want some kind of indication that she misses my presence, but in the past she's mentioned that she doesn't feel that way about anybody unless its romantic so lol i guess.

when i brought it up 2ish months ago she reassured me that she values our friendship and that this is just how she is, so i want to take her at her word but it feels like her words and actions aren't matching up... i really hate how this feels cuz my sadness feels so unjustified and selfish in my mind. it's not like we're in a relationship or anything so by her standards i shouldn't care this much... but damn is this just how best friendships are as an adult fr?? cuz this feels like i don't have a best friend at all most of the time. it feels so lonely that i just want to cry its pathetic lol. so much happens in the months we dont speak that it feels like i am not even a part of her life when i just want us to be closer. it's like we're slowly becoming strangers. i think i tend to center best friends in my life in a way that has never been reciprocated, that even when they say they consider me their best friend im always an afterthought lol. i just want to feel secure and appreciated in a friendship lol

[ifishouldvanish]

(sorry, one more bc it's been on my mind for a long time)

I worry though, about... the dynamic. Can someone really find and bond with another through their grief and loneliness, without this grim depression they share becoming *worse?*

For me, personally, whenever I think about them... I think there's going to be a level of catharsis. They have something that would be very hard to find in another living being, and a certain love for humanity and the past that would be difficult to find among vampires, and this shapes them into shattered pieces which fit together. But would they still be able to find happiness? It kind of feels like they're two damaged clocks that have coincidentally been stuck on the same minute and hour hand. Would they be able to heal and move time forward?

Okay so like!!!!

I see it less about bonding over the shared grief itself and more about what their responses to that grief have exposed in each of them. Like, in the beginning and on the surface level, yes. It is the grief and loss and loneliness that brings them together. But they are foils!!! I'm telling you!!! They can learn from each other!!!

I've mentioned probably all of this before in scattered pieces across all my posts at some point but!! I think the lowest common denominator, the core of their dynamic, lies in how they seem to have established their senses of self.

Alucard struggles with how not to define himself by his father, and then having to define himself in opposition to his father. "Slave to our families' wishes" etc. And when that chapter of his life closes he's like, "welp, guess I'll just entomb myself here 🤷" until Trevor and Sypha are like "what?? Dude no??" And he's like "oh haha I guess you're right, I can uphold the legacy of the best parts of both of my parents!!" And they're like "ya!!" But then a month goes by without anyone coming round to say "hey!!! Share that knowledge with me!! Fulfill the role you've given yourself" and he is just... so fucking bored and unfulfilled?

He needed they-who-shall-not-be-named to come along so he could fill that role, needed Greta to come along so he could fill that role. He tells Greta about how rescuing others sort of fills a void for him/gives him purpose, which is honorable, yes. But like... It's also so sad imo?? This comfort in denying his sense of self? "I don't know what to do with myself, just gimme a shout if the world ever needs saving again"?? Like Alucard, honey, babygirl, sweetheart... you need to learn to live for yourself 🥺

Olrox on the other hand is... not selfish exactly, but he knows what he's about and he refuses compromise himself. You killed the only man I ever loved? Okay, then I'm killing you, and no, I don't care if your nine year old son witnesses it. You want the juicy story of why that boy is terrified of the big bad vampire? Okay, but you will learn about my humanity first so you can sit with your cognitive dissonance about it later. You think I'm just going to throw myself at your feet because you promise us all eternal night? How about you kindly go fuck yourself? You happily stump for Erzsebet because she promised you that she'll create a world that will allow you to relive your glory days? Couldn't be me!

Like obviously we have a much more limited viewpoint for Olrox because we know so much less about him and his past, but this is not a guy who's waiting for someone to give him a purpose. He acts alone, he doesn't play nice with others, he has his own agenda, and is even a little bit of a hedonist: investigating the relationship between the abbot and Erzsebet? Might as well fuck a hot monk while I'm at it. I said eat the rich, but I might as well look good doing it. You hate/fear me cause I killed your mom? Get over it already. You think the opera singing night creature is annoying? Well, I'm familiar enough with opera music to know he's actually reading you all for filth, so I think it's great!

I think at the end of the day, Alucard is a character who defines himself by others, not understanding why he still feels so empty and alone. And Olrox is a character who defines himself by his own terms, but in being caught between both human and vampire worlds has learned to push people away because he thinks he is better off that way. But by the end of the season, his worst fear is realized: I cannot do this alone. I am at the mercy of someone else's help.

But Olrox isn't like anyone else Alucard has rescued before. He's a fellow vampire. He's a fellow immortal. He's going to be around for as long as he is. And maybe, in that time, a little bit of that ego can start to rub off on Alucard. Maybe he can learn to live for himself without apology, without feeling like he has to atone for the sins of his father. Maybe, just maybe, he can learn to exist outside of the role of the mythical savior.

Because Olrox doesn't want one of those—heaven's no. He can take care of himself, thank you very much. But what if he could learn he doesn't always have to? Who better to restore his faith in the world than the guy who has his mother's conviction that all of this mess is worth saving so deeply ingrained in him that it's been the primary source of his identity for centuries?

I'm starting to ramble here so I hope this is coherent, but in conclusion: they would be so restorative for each other and look so hot together and that is why I believe in Alurox supremacy 🙏

[baodurs]

🤥🎂🌙🌋🙉❇️🌠 - for either... or both :o

oc emoji asks

🤥 LYING - are they good liars? do they have tells to show they're lying?

my first instinct for phaedra was to say yes she's a good liar, but i'm not so sure... she's a good speaker, very poised, and good at keeping secrets & dealing with people, but i think outright lying could make her uncomfortable enough to be kind of obvious! i guess it depends on the situation and if she feels guilty. she's a competent utilitarian liar, but she's not good at prolonged deception or lying to people she knows well. if she ever tried it, she'd hesitate and just seem distressed lol

morven doesn't see much point in lying. she's usually blunt and direct (red hawke); when she does want to hide something, she's more likely to just be like "none of your business" or "i'm not telling you." beyond thinking it's usually a waste of time, she doesn't have any qualms with it, and she's a good liar when necessary. usually in the form of denying something when directly questioned—she's good at sounding dismissive or making someone feel foolish enough for asking/stonewalling them long enough that they just drop it

🎂 BIRTHDAY CAKE - when is their birthday? do they like celebrating it?

fictional calendars scare me i haven't thought much about it... but i think this thedas astrology doc is fun! using that, i'd say phaedra was born under eluvia* and morven was born under fervenial*

*assuming i just went for the most obviously fitting ones. but who knows!

phaedra looks forward to her birthday! as much as she is dutiful and self-effacing, she's always been more proud and less satisfied with her role than she wants to be, so she enjoys having a day where the weight of that lightens a bit and she can indulge in those "lesser" emotions. the key is that it's a limited (one day) and sanctioned (literally her birthday!!) form of indulgence, so she lets herself enjoy it

morven prefers to treat it like any other day. being celebrated is uncomfortable for her (if it's sincere, then it's awkward; if it's insincere, then it's annoying), but she rarely does anything big anyway. she likes her birthday as far as she can use it as an excuse to gather her family and friends together!

🌙 MOON - what is your oc's greatest wish? how far are they willing to go for it?

phaedra: her deepest desires are an inscrutable mess i fear. but the clearest and most present one is just to do right by the wardens. and she'll go very far for it! she wants them to have power and respect and she wants to be a good commander. and a good warden, really, but she struggles more with what that means.

morven: just some peace and fucking quiet to be honest!!! she has never dreamed very big. but clearly she's only willing to go so far for it, considering her entire life. she won't sacrifice much for a cause or for the greater good (she's vehemently against the circle and the chantry but too afraid of the consequences for herself and those close to her to do much about it), but she'll do anything for a person she loves

🌋 VOLCANO - how bad is their temper? is it a slow boil, or a instant explosion?

phaedra isn't a very angry character IMO. she feels a lot of frustration or resentment, but true anger is rare for her and fades pretty quickly. so losing her temper is a surprise to her and to others when it happens; she'll just seem the usual level of cold or serious until she lashes out very suddenly and then almost immediately regrets it and tries to save face

comparatively, morven is a generally angrier person with a much longer temper. it's a more familiar and useful emotion to her. i think seeing her lose her temper is also surprising but in a different way—less "where did that come from" and more "i guess i should have seen this coming but i didn't realize where the tipping point was"

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

phaedra: that she's selfish. as a cousland, she struggled with her own ambition vs what was actually expected of her, and as a warden, she struggles with what is necessary vs what feels unacceptable (either to her the cousland that still lives in her brain!). it's her duty to her family vs her duty to the wardens vs her duty to ferelden vs her idealized sense of honor, and for someone to tell her that her own ambition or desires still won out over all of that would be worse than anything else they could say.

morven: that she's not doing enough or hasn't done enough... i think a lot about this act 1 conversation with carver:

hawke: you will not use [bethany] against me like that! she deserves better. carver: then you should have given better. hawke: i gave everything! question me, mother, yourself, but not that.

and that's really just it IMO! she's willing to accept when she's failed, but not that she still didn't give everything she could have. she wants to be malcolm, and on some level her failures become proof to her that she's not and that he was different or better, which is not Great but is something that confirms her worldview and the way she sees her father. like, if there's a flaw, then let it be with Her (and thus not with malcolm) and not with her efforts. this maybe makes her sound more fatalist than she actually is but what can you do

❇️ SPARKLE - what is their most prized possession? what do they value?

phaedra: is it passé to say the reflection amulet from the temple of sacred ashes... i think she tries to honor the idea that when you're a warden, your old life doesn't matter anymore, so she doesn't hold onto much from her origin. but this is something that reminds her of home that she got after leaving it behind, and she has a reverence for spirits, so she appreciates whatever gave it to her.

morven: having too many Things makes morven nervous, so she values things that are useful and don't feel like they're taking up space. a decent candidate for a prized possession would be something like malcolm's grimoire. (i apologize for how many of her answers are about malcolm.) but idk let's just say that for now bc i can't think of something better on the spot!

🌠 SHOOTING STAR - if they could make any wish with no repercussions, what wish would they make?

i think if someone made this offer to phaedra, she might just reject it lol... she's an envious character who wants a lot of things she can't have, but she also thinks she wasn't meant for those things/doesn't have them for a reason. it would feel wrong for her to wish them into existence (just wishing for a cure to the blight, for example, would feel to her like an insult to the wardens). she might pass the wish onto a loved one if possible <3 if she absolutely had to do it, she'd wish for something incredibly minor and practical like "i wish for mild weather on my next trip to the city" lmao

morven... hm. i think a lot of things would occur to her, and it would depend on when the offer was presented. she is not used to thinking big picture or hoping for things out of reach, so most of her wishes would be about safety/security for herself or friends. post-da2 morven is the only one who would entertain something big. first thought would be to cure carver of the blight, but i don't think she'd actually wish for it. i think she'd wish for one last conversation with malcolm, especially after legacy, bc that lack of closure is the one thing that will eat her alive until she's dead!!!!

[inchidentally]

I know wives and gf talk isn't for everyone so asks under a cut - and I hate the term 'wag' so I'll start tagging these 'f1partnertalk' for those who want to bl!

right??? and the fact that in his Australia tourism type video with her he refers to her as his 'partner' which to me is both him being socially minded but also respect bc by that time they'd been together 3 and a bit years!

and exactly !! on the one hand he's not using her as a status thing of 'look I have a gf' but he's also made the very smart decision (and I think this was the Webbers influence) of not having her be a secret or a mystery. her acc going private is pretty normal for F1 gfs who aren't using their profile for business but the fact that he casually reminds people about her and that she'll like certain content posted about her or them is enough to stop anyone thinking she's 'fake' or whatever. there were some feeble attempts to claim they were broken up just bc she didn't go to many races but when folks pointed out she was in final year of uni for a very difficult degree it died down.

gotta say though - and this isn't in reply to you it's an aside about comments I see - I find the straight people thing of jumping to theories about marriage for long term relationships SO weird. it's like there's this ticking time bomb for het relationships lol. it's esp weird since they're so young and his career requires him to be so selfish (his and Lando's words) that I'm like how do ppl see that and leap to them marrying buying a house and planning kids when they not only don't live together yet they also spend most of the year apart??? sure they're super mature and stable for their age but who I am now and who I was during hs and college has been so incredibly different! I couldn't imagine making that huge a commitment esp if I had an all consuming career like Oscar does. I just hope those comments (however well meaning) don't reach them bc that feels crazy over-stepping and would be so awkward to read.

these asks I felt like went together really well lol

(this is the post anon refers to) oh anon. idk if you've seen them but have a look through here to enjoy Oscar's 8-year little crush on Lando and I think it's safe to say that Lily will at least have had an inkling about it.

and the thing is that being physical just isn't Oscar's way even with Lily which if Lando was at all hmmmm about then he'll have seen that pretty early on. as anon listed above, Oscar shows his affection for people by including them when he talks about his life (which Lando also gets!) also acts of service and signs of respect (which Lando also gets!)

this is me projecting here but idk the way Oscar talks about the boarding school guys he's still friends with and his friends back in Oz but doesn't post about them or have them to many races just makes me think that Oscar decided very early on to just avoid the distraction of sharing himself on social media apart from memes? he's never wanted to establish any kind of online persona and he got really solid a levels as a backup in engineering if F1 didn't work out so he's never planned to be a public person anyway.

where I'm going w that is that Lando will absolutely by now have learned all of this about Oscar. Oscar will like and respond to content about Lando but most of what Lando gets from him will be the acts of service and signs of respect. which is exactly what Oscar does with Lily, his family, Mark, etc. Oscar's own content will be about generically positive stuff re McLaren and the occasional funny post (like P1,P2,P6?). but the people he considers his most inner circle will stay largely off the map. which lbr is what Lando himself does with a lot of his closest friends! especially since his fame began to grow he's stopped posting a lot of those people and we only hear them bc he mentions seeing them. Lando is Oscar's little long harbored 'crush' and Lily is his long term gf. I feel like if that's obvious to us then it def will be for Lando :)

so we can count ourselves incredibly lucky that Lando being Oscar's teammate means we get as much of a window in on them as we do <3

[hellfiredemon]

tw: eating disorder and venting

i offered a friend to stay with me since she needed a place, but she's got an eating disorder and tries to stays at 12% body fat year round which is very difficult for a female, like entry level body building qualifier, and she wants to stay with me because i like exercising and she thinks we can be accountability partners to stay fit and while having a workout partner would be nice, i don't want to be used in that way.

i told her outright that it's not healthy to think of herself as disgusting because she's gained some weight, and that also, fitness can't be this thing that's all tied up in aesthetics. you gotta do exercise for yourself, and it's ok to enjoy the benefits of a healthy body like feeling the endorphins and being strong and easily buying clothes, but having your personal fitness so closely linked to maintaining an aesthetic standard that only becomes more difficult as you age is a losing game.

it's frustrating for me that she complains about her weight gain preventing her from wanting to work out and it makes me feel like she's judging everyone else's weight and it makes me uncomfortable because i feel like if we do live together, i'm gonna feel that judgement when i eat. like i'll subconsciously eat less because she does?

she's definitely depressed and acknowledges her way of thinking is not logical or kind but isn't working to get past that. i am afraid being around that is going to influence me in a bad way. maybe that sounds so stupid but i'm really sensitive to others around me. most people are not lean and their bodies shouldn't be considered disgusting. it seems hateful to so admonish your own body. i can kinda relate to it bc i am trans but i'm also at the point where i'm like, you gotta accept some things about yourself instead of hating it all the time because it doesn't do you any good! i'm not gonna grow 4 inches or get a fucking insane surgery to make my limbs longer!! your aesthetic preoccupation with yourself does not serve you!!

i hate that we idealize images of people who have muscles but are only "magazine ready" when they've starved and dehydrated themselves to appear in those images. at their leanest, aesthetic athletes fucking hate their lives! have no libido, the body is crying out to be nourished beyond anything else. the way we continually idealize this is disturbing to me.

i've extended an offer to try and be kind to her because she's really depressed but it feels like if we go ahead, i'm gonna get used to be like...a fitness pal enabling an eating disorder. if i rescind the offer to try and protect myself and her, to some extent, she'll probably think i'm being a selfish and lazy asshole. i don't even know how to start that conversation, like, hey you know when i called out that you have really unhealthy thoughts about your body? well i don't want to be around you because i'm afraid it'll hurt me??? ugh what can i even do

[foolondahill17]

I have a lot of thoughts and feelings, @urne-buriall, and they're all your fault. Today's segment let off at the same point where my initial read-through stopped before I had to wait for chapter updates. I'm struck with the same feeling of heartache for Dean and frustration for the way both Kate and Sam reacted to his situation.

1. I'm trying to respond to Kate sympathetically. John is a man she's known for some time and the father of her child. She wants to think the best of him. In the 90s there wasn't as much public information about people in domestic abuse situations, especially not a young man like Dean (and this is still true for a lot of male victims). But I can't help but view Kate through the lens of someone in this day and age.

If someone tells you they are being abused (let alone an eighteen-year-old kid) you never - never - go to the alleged abuser to ask if it's true. The amount of danger she put Dean in after he just disclosed this secret to her, especially when he'd been trying to keep her son safe? I'm stunned she could make that kind of decision.

Although my frustration toward Kate is understandable, I think my anger is misplaced - that should only be directed toward John. John is the danger here, not Kate. In fact, Kate is another potential victim, perhaps, if Dean had never said anything. She's in a difficult situation, too - an unwed, single mother trying to build a better life for her son. It's understandable she's blinded by John's charisma.

I also can't imagine the guilt Kate must experience after this moment: she has to learn about Dean pressing charges against John, eventually, and - she's a smart lady - she'll now not only have irrefutable proof of John's actions but also guess that John must have blown up at Dean after her phone call. Her horror and shame over that decision will likely haunt her for the rest of her life. It's a sign of Dean's tremendous compassion that he forgives her (if he ever even blames her in the first place; I imagine it would take a couple years for him to even register he was upset about her actions, let alone voice them). I hope they're able to have a conversation about it someday.

2. My frustration toward Sam is a little milder. After all, Sam is a child. He can't be expected to react with the same level of knowledge and maturity. But I'm still yelling at him through the screen when he confronts John about leaving. Again, I can't help but think of the danger that creates for Dean. What if Sam had directly confronted John about hurting Dean? How would John have reacted? What if John had lashed out at Sam, and Dean had gotten in the middle?

Again, if someone comes to you with the fact they're being abused (and Dean didn't even tell Sam, in this case; Sam discovered it, himself) do. not. confront. the. abuser. But Sam is young and understandably selfish, impulsive, and self-riteous in the way teenagers are. What's more, Sam is also a victim of abuse, just not physically like Dean (which I tried to portray in my prequel). Sam's also had a neglectful and volatile father. He's seen how John treats Dean, and this has left scars and fears aplenty for Sam. He's also experiencing a trauma response, here, except his is to lash out rather than make himself smaller.

I can't help but see how both these events leave Dean. Of the only two people who know the secret of John's abuse, one immediately betrays that trust to his abuser, and one immediately leaves him to face the abuse by himself. It's a mark of Dean's tremendous strength that he ever tells anyone again about what John's done to him - a further testimony to his courage that he presses charges.

Yes, some of that choice to tell his story is taken out of his hands when John hurts him badly enough that the evidence is impossible to hide, but it's still Dean who ultimately decides to come forward. And it's a marvel that he finds that determination when he's been let down so badly by others before. I'm so fucking proud of him for his decisions in the next few segments: choosing to trust Missouri, Cas, Bobby, Ellen, and eventually Jody. I can imagine Dean faltering through his statement to Jody, "I know it's hard to believe -" and I like to think Jody, with calm and compassion, would immediately tell him, "I believe you."

I posted about it before, and, although I want nothing more than Cas to be there immediately to support Dean in this moment, I'm glad that his absence narratively gives Dean the space to grow as a character. In a way, Dean needed to reach this moment of despair (for the story; I'm not extending this to real-life abuse victims) in order to discover that he still has the capacity to trust the people around him. He needed to realize that he's not alone in this. All he needs to do is ask for help; he will be given it in spades.

[astronomic727]

Apologies if I seemed off yesterday, but something happened on the 11th of June and I'm ready to get it out there now. Yesterday, before I got around to posting, my family had to put our cat, Skye, to eternal rest. To keep it brief, she essentially just got too old, and started getting ill over the past few months. We didn't want her suffering any longer, it would be just too unfair and selfish to put her through the stress of getting operations done and bringing her back and forth from the vet, just to keep her around longer for what felt like our sake. It's better off this way. We had plenty of time to say good bye and had expected this day was coming soon, but it hits hard.

I would just like to vent for a bit because this cat meant a lot to me. Our household had many pets growing up. We got Skye and her sister Smudge since they were born in 2008. Smudge tragically and unexpectedly passed one night when she was only 3. Child me was sad she was gone but I couldn't grasp the concept of grief. We also had a dog the same time who passed by the time I was in my first year of secondary school. This hurt more on a deeper level since I was starting to mature. These 3 were the pets I grew up with and remember the most, as my parents had a cat and dog before I was born too, but I was only a toddler by the time they were gone.

This cat however lived for almost 17 years. She has been with me through primary school, secondary school, college, and everything in between. She's been there for every hardship I've faced, and has been around for so long that even my earliest memories contain her in some way. That's what makes this hurt so much more than anything I've ever had to experience in my life. The last little bundle of fluff from my childhood. Gone. But I have to remind myself that I can't be too bitter over it all, and that things could've gone much worse.

As I said, she's been around a long time. We've had many good memories with her. She was quite the character. She hated being picked up and was feisty. But if you sat down near her she would cuddle up with you pretty much instantly. She became even more affectionate as time went on. We gave her the best life that we could've, right up until the very end, and we prevented her from suffering any further. We were all with her as she went to sleep forever. She's with her sister now after all this time, I know it.

We're not quite petless anymore, I will say. We have a dog that we got back in 2018 and she's 7 now. So I'm glad to say we at least still have her and she'll be around for another good while. I was planning a drawing one time of her and Skye, and had the rough sketch for Skye done, but it fell on the back burner as other things took over. I felt like this was the perfect time to finish at least her bit off and post it. I really don't know if I should've rambled about all of this but I just can't keep it in man. I needed to get all of this out there. It's rough, but I will pull through. It's life. This is what happens. And I'm thinking maybe anyone else going through this situation, or will soon be going through this situation can sympathise a bit knowing they're not alone.

It's been hard to talk about, but don't worry, I do have the support around me to get through this. The only thing I ask of you all is, please go hug your pets. Appreciate the time you have with them, and let them know it. They aren't just animals, they're family. I'll be back with some more light hearted stuff soon enough. Thank you for your time, and rest in piece Skye.

[itchose]

@feminaferitas said, "Maybe it makes me selfish. I don't think it makes me wrong."

It's been frustrating to watch Jackie these past few weeks,   noticing the way she seemed to turn her nose up at the tasks they've all been forced to complete in order to make it through another day here.   Akilah never wants to judge the way any of her teammates cope with their conditions,   because she knows firsthand just how horrifying their circumstances are and how easy it would be just to completely shut down,   but she also knows that without them all coming together,   without the help of everyone,   they'll eventually start turning against each other,   and that's the last thing she wants.   Maybe Jackie needs a push in the right direction  —    though Akilah isn't sure she's the right person to do it.   All she can try to do now is remind her what's important,   try to reason with her in a way that maybe no one else has.

❝  I don't think it makes you selfish,  ❞    she says quietly,   though she's sure the others wouldn't agree,  given the glares and the sighs that have been shot Jackie's way every time it feels like she's unwilling to help.   Akilah's not innocent from that,  either,  finding herself frustrated with Jackie despite the logic in her brain reminding her that she's just as scared as the rest of them,  too.   She takes a deep breath,   shaking her head as she thinks it over.   ❝  Hey,  I know it's hard,   trying to figure out what you're good at out here.   It's not easy for me,  either.  ❞    That's not entirely true;   her girl scout training has prepared her for this,   in some twisted way,   and she's doing everything she can to try to prove her own worth,   something in her gut telling her that's going to be important,  the way others may perceive it just as they watch Jackie.   But if it helps level with Jackie and make her feel better,  then she'll say it anyway.   

She can't shake the way it feels wrong,   being the one to say any of this.   She's younger than most of them,   and she's not used to being part of their team,   only brought to nationals last minute because of Allie's injury.   She's still trying to figure out her place here and when it's okay to speak up,   but she likes Jackie,   and she doesn't want to see anyone turn against her —  nor does she want to,  either,   so she's trying.   ❝   But you'll figure it out.   We just,   you know,   all have to do our part.  It's how we're going to survive.  ❞

[gaycey-sketchit]

I’m so curious about the whole thing with Tracey’s mom

Guess it's time for me to elaborate then! (And also probably go on several tangents.)

I have a lot of interest in familial relationships--the good, the bad, and the nuance and complexities within. Probably because of my own messy and complicated family situation, but I digress.

The fact that canon gave us absolutely nothing regarding Tracey's history and family is interesting to me. You'll see a wide variety of takes because it's a total blank slate, and I think that's fun. Even though I have my own I like to see others. My take is that there's a reason he doesn't talk about it and doesn't go home.

Tracey's mom is... decently complex in my brain for an OC who has no name and objectively sucks. She's a single mother, and it's a mystery where Tracey got his optimistic nature from because she's pretty jaded about things. She loves her kid, or at least thinks she does, but she's insistent that the world is a dangerous place and they only have each other, which is... not healthy.

Additionally, in my immense longing as a chronically ill young adult for there to be more young characters who are chronically ill, I've been contemplating the idea of Tracey having PCOS--a condition that's genetic, and could have been inherited from his mother. Part of PCOS is that it makes conception and successfully carrying a fetus to term difficult and risky, with a high chance of miscarriage, so if this was the case it took a lot of luck for Tracey to be born at all. And on top of that, as I mentioned recently, I have another headcanon that he was immunocompromised as a young child, and that gave her one more reason to worry. Like, even later on when he's pretty much fine, she can't help thinking there might be a relapse. Every little cold sets her off worrying.

Tracey is friendly and adventurous and deeply curious about the world, and that worries her for two reasons. One is actual concern for her child's safety--that he's not strong enough, or that people will take advantage of his kind and trusting nature or mistreat him because he's different. The other is that his father left and never came back, and he might do the same if she lets him. She's sort of a worse parallel to Delia, interestingly--the fundamental difference between them is Delia chose to support her son and let him go. Tracey, on the other hand, wasn't let go so much as he finally decided enough was enough and left.

It took a while to get to that point though. The deterioration of their relationship really started when the azurill Tracey befriended evolved, and Tracey realized he was trans. Which also explained why his mother's insistence that men were nothing but trouble, trouble he'd do well to avoid, made him so viscerally uncomfortable. He comes out to her, thinking she's his mom and she loves him and she's always said she would no matter what. She's dismissive. She insists she knows her daughter and she knows a phase when she sees one.

It sort of makes him think. He's too young to fully grasp nuances, but on some level he can tell his mother underestimates his strength and his intelligence, and it hurts. He's always done his best to be understanding, to listen when she says being a single mother is hard, to be a good kid. Her protectiveness feels more smothering with the realization she thinks he's too weak and naive to face the world outside their little island, or even understand who he is.

He tolerates it for a while, but it's a test of even his patience. Finally he gets up early one morning, cuts his hair in the bathroom, writes a note because he can't bring himself to leave without saying goodbye, and takes his backpack and Marill and leaves.

It feels like the most selfish and cruel thing he could possibly do. She'll miss him, he knows. He'll miss her. He can't not look back, but he never goes back and never speaks to her again, refusing to risk letting her talk him into coming home. The guilt eats at him sometimes, but mostly the relief and exhilaration of finally being free to live his life are stronger.

And as we all know, eventually he finds a home with the Oaks, where he's loved and respected. He could never go back after that.

[sherwoodknights]

In honour of My Gang To Me day, on this most illustrious Wednesday 26th of April, I thought I'd have a bit of fun and think about all the things that could have been. The season 4 we could have had, if you will.

(Only it'll hopefully be better because I no longer trust the bbc to do right by this show)

I'm not exactly creative enough to come up with a whole plotline on the spot here (although if you amazing outlaws can, I applaud you) but I'd like to at least give a couple of characters I'd love to see reappear in a 4th season, maybe one set a few years, or a decade on from the final episode, when Prince John has become king.

You know I had to do it to 'em, of course it's my boy- Luke Scarlett

Anyone who knows me and my love for minor characters was expecting this one. BUT I wholeheartedly stand by that bringing Luke back to Nottingham would be a good idea. He has the connection to Robin and the gang, but he's also enough of a minor presence in his two episodes on the show that his personality could be developed pretty much any way a writer would want (unless they massacre my sweet angel baby's characterisation. Then I will be laying down a gauntlet 😂).

Maybe he got restless in Scarborough, maybe he got tired of waiting for Will to come and find him (😬), maybe he just needed a trip down memory lane. All I know is that this lad has something of an eye for justice that might come in handy somewhere like Nottingham....

She's been misunderstood for too long, and consider this my formal apology for all the hatred my uneducated self had when I watched season 3 for the first time- Kate

When we first saw Kate, she was a young woman angry with the world (and the Sheriff, of course). But she was certainly a woman who could hold her own, and she wasn't afraid to stand up for people she cared about. Now, imagine a decade down the line. Call it a cliché, but maybe in those years, she's had Robin's child (I know, I know, but it's just an idea) and she'll do whatever it takes to protect her child. Or maybe we bring in the old faithful headcanon for real; Kate as the new Nightwatchman, honouring the spirit of Robin Hood by helping those who are suffering.

I think it would be nice to revisit her character as more of a solo act, especially since the writing of season 3 really let her down and didn't give her much chance to shine outside of her romance plotlines.

The most questionable of these characters for certain, but I felt like I had to give him a chance here- Archer

Archer always felt like a bit of a mixed bag for me. He had the flirty charm and charisma of early seasons Robin, combined with some Allan levels of con-man skill, but he was definitely a selfish guy, and maybe not the best choice to pass down the Robin Hood mantle to, despite the very weird character 180 in the final episode (lets just say, it's not a season 4 I'm sure I'd have enjoyed watching).

But an Archer who's had years to mature, to work on actively being a better man, could be an interesting addition to a series; a man constantly grappling the morals he seemingly grew up learning against the ones he saw in people like Robin and the outlaws. It could be that he's become disillusioned with the selfless lifestyle, until whatever event that kicks off the season ignites the little outlaw flame that's been hiding inside him.

Come on, you guys, it wouldn't be a Robin Hood season without them- the OG gang

You all knew this was coming, right? There's no way I would suggest a season 4 without these guys. While it would be bittersweet to be reminded of who we lost along the 3 season journey (*sniffles and wipes away a tear* no, I'm fine, don't worry about me, im doing okay I promise 🥲🥲🥲), it would be nice to at least see how our old friends have been doing. They could remain a regular presence in the season, or they could be relatively background to the action, doing what they can, but maybe not being quite so active in a fight.

It would be so lovely to see their reaction to Robin's spirit and influence reaching somewhere outside of the gang, being kept alive by people with a drive to make the world a better place. Also, imagine what a tearjerker it would be for all of us og viewers to see a gang reunion 14 years on....

An honourable mention to the best beta couple of the show, and no, I'm not talking about Much and that roast pork- Will and Djaq

A few years ago, the return of Will and Djaq would have been the ultimate dream, and who am I kidding, deep down it still kind of is. While a return in season 3 would have been something I would have gladly celebrated, I am now very much of the mind that a post-canon return would destroy me, heart, soul and all. I don't think I would be able to emotionally handle Djaq and Will learning that Allan died while they were gone (and Robin too, of course, but we all know that i am not above blatant favouritism when it comes to this show).

However, I am very much an angst enjoyer, so maybe this is a good time to invite the fandom to make me cry about this before I manage to do it to myself 😂

And the final honourable mention goes to all the RH ocs people have created over the years

I know that I am certainly not above the creation of shameless oc creation (I have at least 5 ocs that I have created for this show alone) and neither are many of my beloved mutuals- big shoutout to @chaoticbitheatrekid and @muchadoaboutcj for being some of the first people I talked ocs with in this fandom, and in general (love you both so much, happy Robin Hood day to both of you x)

So many of the ocs I've seen in this fandom are absolutely brilliantly written, creatively developed and irresistibly lovable, and since an official season 4 doesn't seem to be on the bbc cards anytime soon, consider this my official encouragement to go wild! Write your own season, use all the ocs you can imagine (or if you're anything like me, procrastinate indefinitely on the actual writing and just very vividly imagine your ideal season)

~~~

So there we have it! It's certainly not an exhaustive list, but I felt like I had to do something special for my 3rd active My Gang To Me day considering how much I slacked off last year

Much love to everyone out there keeping the fandom alive, I wish you all a wonderful anniversary of the Locksley Four Rescue, and never forget:

WE ARE ROBIN HOOD!

[crayonurchin]

The fact that as a nearly 27 year old woman, I can tell the anxious and depressed teenagers I work with that not only does it get better, but THEY get better, is wonderful. It doesn't fix their issues, it just gives them a view of a future where things have improved.

As a nearly 27 year old woman who's going through her first 'real' heartbreak and breakup, still lives at home, is terrified to try dating or exploration of sexualities and being more open, does not have a full time job or the ability to move out without moving so far away I'd have to quiet my part time entertainment job, has no clue if she'll ever fall in love again or get married or adopt kids and is still struggling with PTSD from stuff that happened in school, work, life and my own untreated for years mental state... Yeah I want the 37 year old me to reach out and show that it'll all get better and I will get better.

But 37 year old me isn't here yet, nor is 27 year old me. 26 year old me, at least, is trying to make better changes.

Yes, I have lost someone I thought I'd marry. It's sad. I miss her. I miss us. I am so happy she's moved on to bigger and better things and I am so sad it didn't go the way I so badly wanted. But one day, I think I'll be with someone who I love and who loves me back, in that intimate way I loved her. We'll geek over special interests, crave each others company without NEEDING it, help each other to keep being our best selves and live our own lives whist living a life together. She will hold me close and I'll feel at home. And I'll look on this experience as a sad but, as something that at least showed me that I can feel love. And that love I did feel was amazing.

Yes I am not in a career and I'm afraid of GETTING that career and not liking it. But I'm also lucky that I like my current weekend entertain work a lot, and it's shown me WAY more skills that I didn't know I even had! I wrote a god damn book. I'm still looking for a publisher but holy shit I wrote an entire book. And I want to write more! I might have freelance coming up and in April I'll be recording my audio drama, which will help me apply to voice based things. YES, it's not a career yet, but I'm so much more qualified than I used to be!

Yes I still live at home. Because fucking hell I have had a ROUGH 20s. I was so mentally unstable for so long and had no idea. I was genuinely ready to kill myself several times. And that's hard to admit. I'm autistic and have ADHD! I need legit help with things others don't! I look high functioning because of my socialising abilities but I can't keep my space clean. I can't do paperwork. I can't remember to talk to people without alarm set reminders. My OCD still rules so much of my life, my PTSD age regressed me. I'm only just learning to experience anger and jealousy without beating myself up.

Yes. It's hard to believe anyone likes me. I feel so unlikable and boring and annoying. And I know that's almost certainly not true. I have friends. I have new friends. I have a... sort of crush, maybe. I have family that love me. I have people asking to hang out.

I worry all the time I'm a selfish and evil and cruel and fake person. I want to become a better person and work on my flaws, but also the level of bad I feel is probably because of my OCD.

17 year old me thought she was a murderer. Spoiler. I wasn't. I was mentally unwell and suffering with OCD that gave me intrusive thoughts.

I know some of my changes are good. I've started feeling that autistic euphoria from a special interest again. Today I drove home from a gig, and the sky kept producing the most 'shaped' clouds. My heart went glowy. I have missed feeling glowy.

One day 37 year old me will be very happy 26 going on 27 year old me tried her best.

[pre1ude]

@sunrisemuses , sent 👫 for four headcanons about our muses' relationship (for Molly because.. adorable)

1.

I'm truly just using these hc posts to plot out possible meeting points because I hate introductory scenes, so don't mind me doing it again here lmao. I just think these two are deserving of an unhinged first impression of each other. Absolutely batshit. Just throw all logic out the window. Dean and Danny were so well-plotted, Dean's his 'mission', it all makes perfect narrative sense. I want none of that for Molly and Dan. Let them meet in the middle of breaking into the lab. In the middle of battle. While chasing down the same beast. Snooping around the same place. Using their powers at the same time. Anything, literally anything questionable and legally dubious. I am firmly of the belief that no matter that they never met as kids, they're the exact same manner of fucked up on a fundamental level and their brains just function on some 'i am a human experiment' wavelength that DEMANDS their first interaction be them spiderman pointing at each other. "What the fuck" "No YOU what the fuck!" and nothing less.

2.

Danny would have... a few hangups about experiencing Molly's abilities. Completely unrelated to her as a person and the level of trust he has in her at any time, although initially it's worse because he's his usual brand of cautious of course, that's just a him thing. Specfically though, he's cagey about psychic powers that breach the mind and affect the senses, for the fact alone that having his reality altered is something he could go without experiencing. That said, he does bite the bullet at some point. He'd have probably indulged her with a few of his sound tricks and would have asked what she can do, so he's prepared. Suffice to say, he learns to adore the small, funky washes of psychedelic color and fantasy Molly can paint for him. She's a walking talking acid trip and once he grows comfortable with her power, he also grows a fondness for experiencing the world a little bit brighter. If she'll indulge him, of course. He's not as brave about her time-altering abilities though. Not very keen on suffering that sort of maddening confusion.

3.

Daniel would kill for Molly without question. Listen. Yes, he maintains a certain level of decorum and self-control when it comes to violence at all times, Molly's violence included. Vengeance is one thing, carelessness is another; personal safety comes first. They can't leave a trail of viscera after themselves. However. So much of what they've both gone through is steeped in helplessness, lack of agency and suffering abuse since childhood that at this point achieving safety starts to overwhelmingly overlap with a clean-out revenge. Not until every single wretched creature who's ever participated in that experiment is dead and buried could they ever take a deep breath and stop looking over their shoulder. Daniel understands this. This is where he becomes ruthless, regardless of the circumstances. And no, some of these people he's never met nor been harmed by. But Molly has, and that speaks of their intentions more than enough. This is kinhood at the highest degree, you hurt, I hurt. It's mostly his dogged, ride or die royalty at play here, Molly ends up meaning the world to him, but a small part of it, he hates to admit, is a purely selfish need to get back at men and women like Patricia. To substitute her with another and fulfill a revenge fantasy he could never exact on his very own mother.

4.

This has been on my mind for a while: Them sharing a tiny apartment as roommates is the sitcom dream we deserve. Hear me out. This is purely self indulgent since they have wildly different dispositions, Danny isn't very adventurous for example and I know Molly wants to explore, perhaps even travel, so it may not be a long-term arrangement, but I also can't envision him being able to bear just... parting with her?? So, naturally, imagine, if you will, the two most dysfunctional, superpowered young adults living together in a 10 by 7 one bed, one pullout, with an energetic dog, the creakiest pipes ever and no microwave because Danny put foil in there as first manner of business like the rich, clueless dumbdumb he is. The most disastrous situation you could ever fathom, they can't even boil water between the two of them, money's tight after Daniel disowns his mother (so, makes even more sense to share rent), they manage to start beef with the neighbours two weeks in and get banned from two out of three local convenience stores. Unbridled chaos, I tell you. On the plus side, no need to worry about burglars or thieves. They're a household which consists of essentially the two most dangerous creatures in town, so I'm sure whoever fucks around WILL find out.

1+

Daniel's dog ditches him so goddamn fast every time Molly's around. Don't get Bentley wrong, Dan is his person, his rotten soldier, his sweet cheese, he would wipe the earth clean from the scourge of squirrels for him if he were only allowed to indulge his hubris off-leash, but god, dad is a downright stick in the mud. Strict and no fun. Molly is the opposite. So she gets rewarded with a lap full of hyperactive cocker spaniel and so many slobbery balls dropped at her feet. The love is real. He lays on her shoes every time she's got to go. Lovingly shares all the dirt he's just rolled around in. Engages in sad puppydog eyes warfare whenever she's eating. Just pure, unadulterated, slightly gross love.

[nulltune]

peony :   what would a   ‘  happy life  ’   look like in your muse’s eyes ?

botanical headcanons,   open !   @tenkoseiensei ♡

(i hope) we all know hakuno's characterized as someone who so desperately wants to live.... but what's a little funny is that i'd say she's someone who's good at surviving, if that makes sense! hard to say that you're living when your life takes place in a simulated world created for a war 🚶‍♂️ and what little we know about hakuno's lifestyle really reflects that. she sleeps for 6 hours and 15 minutes on a hard floor and eats to "nourish her brain" (and i personally have a headcanon that she just eats for the status effects that the food items grants to help in battle) rather than for any enjoyment. those harsh circumstances make her extremely grateful for even being able to see another day, but could you really call that living? i don't think hakuno knows it herself

i'd love to see her get the chance to live a normal life free from any fighting or killing but 😭 WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO HER AT THE ENDD UE UEE

i will say that canon!hakuno definitely has a solid idea of what happiness is, but i'll be talking about my take and my portrayal bere :3c

given hakuno's struggles to even exist nd understand her own feelings, i think it'd make more sense that she wouldn't even know what "happiness" is, and much less a happy life. from what we see in canon, i think that with time she'll naturally and eventually come to the conclusion that her happiness = everyone else's, which sounds pretty simple but it's an interesting mindset to operate on! especially when you factor in all of the other (for lack of better wording) issues that hakuno has.

hakuno genuinely desires what's best for everyone, it's just that she takes it to the extreme level where she's trying to be this perfect ideal because that's the only way she'd feel deserving of anything. not to mention how without any family, friends or purpose in life, that self-imposed duty "for everyone's sake" is the only thing driving her forward. i put it in quotation marks too because there's a part in ccc's true route where sakura asks hakuno what she's fighting for and hakuno herself is not mentioned at all in three options even though pretty much the rest of the cast is :,)

it also hurts just a little because as much as she values unity and working together, it's clear that she's also working on her own agenda to make sure that everyone (herself excluded 🥹) will truly be alright. this is also why i think it'd be sooo neat if they explored more of how alone hakuno is-- how she really is someone who is disconnected from everyone else. she's like an outsider trying to be part of a group that she can't actually be a part of.

i always mention this point too, but she's truly selfless to the most extreme way! selfless to the point where she'd have no self left despite that being the thing she wanted the most; to find herself and to have an identity of her own. she's constantly diminishing her own wants and needs in doing so too which would only add on to this lack of identity. so the reason i bring all of this up is because don't think she'd be able to find happiness this way! and i think that would only confuse her even more beause by her definition of happiness, she should be happy. agjfhsf it's really interesting stuff to think about!!

hakuno's actually really simple though :,) so even if it may take her some (A Lot) of time to figure it out for herself, i think the best thing to bring up here is the picture frame that hakuno got from taiga. it has the description "use it to frame your most precious memory" and she used it to frame a picture of her and her servant 🥺 there's not a dedicated scene to it or anything, it's more like a cute little side thing you can notice but i think it speaks volumes about hakuno's character!! there's a lot of conflict between being selfless/selfish in hakuno's character arc methinks, but in the end i think that's all that truly matters to her :,)

even though her life isn't exactly what you'd imagine a happy life would be, and even if she still doesn't really have understand happiness, she'd consider the life she's lived a happy one because it was a life she got to spend with the people she cared for 🥹🥹 i'm specifically thinking of canon fate/extra here, but yeah ......... she still wanted to live and she definitely would've wanted to be able to spend more time with them, of course, but i think just knowing that they're alive and will be able to continue living on to the future brought her so much happiness even in her last moments /i'm typing thru tears rn tsunnie HAKUNO DESERVES SM I LOVE HER SM

[hardestgrove]

I've been really into your Harrington siblings AU with @officialjoekeery could you tell me a litt bit about Shannon Harrington like her personality, age, and relationship w/ Steve? Also may I please use her for my own headcanons for Steve's family I'll tag you if you'd like?

first off, yes ofc you can use Shannon in your headcanons and things! I'm honored you even want to to begin with! this blog is currently still glitched out of being like, findable or viewable outside of the dash so i'd recommend tagging my main @namorian for now if you want to be sure i'll actually see anything lol 💀

SO ON TO THE HOT SHANNON DEETS!!!!

I've finally done some math on her age since Ria's already sorted out the brothers 💀 her birthday is June 15 1968, she's a Gemini and she's about 2 years younger than Steve and in Nancy's year. She's also 5ft with a gymnastics kind of athletic build since she's the one they hurl around in cheer. Overall she's very petite, except her hair ofc. Big hair is a Harrington family trait lol.

Her personality is like, stereotypical insane teenage girl to comical levels. Characters that she's similar to are people like Cordelia Chase from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Alison DiLaurentis from Pretty Little Liars (early seasons when everyone thinks she's dead and all the flashbacks of her are Fucked Up lol), Damon Salvatore from The Vampire Diaries, Mona-Lisa Saperstein from Parks & Rec and Megan from Drake & Josh to give like a vibe palate lol.

At her best self she's Cordelia— she's intelligent, caring, determined and brutally honest. Some of Cordelia's best and most character defining lines are "Tact is just saying not true stuff", "You think I'm never lonely because I'm so cute and popular? I can be surrounded by people and be completely alone. It's not like any of them really know me." and "I'm not a sniveling, whiny, little cry-Buffy. I'm the nastiest girl in Sunnydale history. I take crap from no one." All of those really do also apply to Shannon, they're 100% things she could and would say. When she's at her best and healthiest she's a Massive Bitch™ but she's your Massive Bitch™ and she loves and protects the people she considers hers aggressively and she doesn't lie to anyone just to make them feel better. She can and will fight anyone and she'll win.

At her worst she's like Alison or Damon, just this selfish bordering in sociopathic, needlessly mean, manipulative and just...The Worst™. Just a petty spiteful bitch who alleviates her own boredom and issues by torturing people for fun. She rarely feels bad about it and never apologizes. She's a Bitch (derogatory) and kind of a monster. Like she's not a very insecure person, she's actually very comfortable in how great she is, but she's also intimately aware that she lacks direction in life and that most people around her don't actually like her. Even at home there's an air of "ugh it's my turn to look after Shannon? GREAT :/" which naturally does not make one feel awesome.

Where Steve has internalized his issues with loneliness as "there's something wrong with me and that's why people don't want to be around me" Shannon's internalized it as "people will never understand me because I'm too much for them, I'm too different and better than them. That's why they don't stay." and it shows in how they interact with the world. She feels very comfortable being the Worst™ because well, she kinda is a small fish in a big pond and she knows she can be a monster and still have people begging to be near her. She's learned that her outbursts and bad behavior get her more rewards than her good behavior so she's just gonna keep rolling with that until it stops being true.

She craves attention and will do a lot of things to get it. She's very funny as part of gaining and maintaining attention.

When she was first conceived of and it was just her and Steve as the siblings there was a kind of unspoken knowledge that a big part of why she was even born was the "they can entertain each other" aspect, like going to the pound and getting another cat/dog to keep your existing pet company while you're at work. Steve was the golden boy and even then he wasn't given much attention and she was just kind of There. She's never held this against Steve since he's you know... not really getting a much better shake than she is but it's absolutely present in her behaviors like the attention seeking and manipulation.

With the addition of more brothers she's less of the "extra" and more "The Girl™" and much of the attention and special treatment she gets is because she's The Girl, not because she's a preferred child. It's just because it's assumed girls need different things than boys. There's a lot of assumptions made by their parents about her, her interests, her personality etc because she's The Girl™. And while she is very feminine and does like many traditionally feminine things it's just very reductive and ignores her actual strengths and her genuine struggles. Her social life is not really respected, her hurt is not really seen as valid etc etc because she's a Teen Girl. That last bit applies whether or not she's got 1 or 4 brothers but it's more blatant and intense when they've had 4 boys before her.

Shannon's relationship with Steve is probably the healthiest and most genuine in her entire life. She loves all her brothers a lot and genuinely loves to be around them and bother them but Steve's basically always been the one saddled with her so he's the one she's the closest with. It also helps they're the closest in age and go to school together. When it's just them and no other siblings they 100% did entertain and keep each other company just like it was kind of intended they would. They are unironically each other's best friend.

Steve is one of the very few people who can clap back on Shannon for her shitty behavior and have her actually then feel bad and apologize and try and do better (the others are her brother and heather). She really loves and looks up to Steve. She knows she's a very tough to swallow personality even when she's toning it down and plenty of people have decided she's not worth the struggle. Steve gets annoyed and exasperated and even angry sometimes but he still sticks around and hangs out with her. She teases him and annoys him and is just an utter menace to him but it's out of love and he understands that and bitches and moans and retaliates and gives her a big hug at the end of the day because she's an annoying little shit but she's his annoying little shit.

It's why she has SUCH a grudge against Nancy— like to the point she WOULD fight Nancy in the halls. Shannon is very aware of Steve's soft gooey center— having spent her whole life taking advantage of it— and she really can't stand how that relationship ended and what it did to Steve's self-esteem/image/worth. She really hates anyone/thing that makes Steve think he's shit. Like even SHE doesn't do that, not really. Like she'll call him stupid and then ask him to help her solve a problem. Of the two of them, Shannon is the more academically successful but she's always turning to Steve for help and advice and returns that favor when/where she can. Like we're not gonna get into the bloodbaths of Steve's senior year in the Harrington house, Shannon was ready to come over the table for their dad lol.