#(HOLY SHIT??????? 🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐)

[russellius]

2024 SINGAPORE GP : pre-race

[alicecoopersbush]

@kmpshitposter YOU DID THIS priest!p4.... dear god

[lifeonmvrs]

i am a lonely hero, trying to fight my battles

[Image Description: a digital drawing of peter parker. he is wearing his spider-man suit with his mask off. he is resting in a metal handrail, looking down with a pensive expression. the background is of a really big bush that covers most of the canvas. it is different shades of purple. /end ID]

[taylorshope]

It is very important to me that everyone knows that both Tanya and Anthony have freckles. Thank you and good night

[jotunhel-arts]

😨‼️‼️❤️🛐

Idolaters - In the Dark

- Stop playing with shiny toys, darling, they were never meant for you: starlight, sunlight, heaven's light... your eyes were not made for such bright things. Don't worry, dear. That little angel almost made you soft, but he's gone now. You'll be one of us again. Unforgivable, remember? That's what you are. One of the bad guys.

What? Is that Satan himself speaking? Where is this series going? But most importantly: did I draw all the things I intended to draw this time? We'll see in a few hours when I look at it again and realize that I missed half the drawing.

[landoughnut]

Nurse He's Out Again

♡ masterlist - request - emoji anons

♡ pairing - lando norris x fem!reader (fc - brooke shields :)

♡ summary - just lando thirsting on the main and giving being a pr nightmare, also him fighting for his life in the comments

♡ warnings - horny/simp lando, crack, some fluff, some cursing, one kms mention

♡ w/c & a/n - smau | wanted to do a social media one cause i love reading them so much so here we are! i really love this actually so i hope you enjoy xoxo

landonorris FIRST liked by yourusername

landonorris holy shit baby 😍🥵

landonorris please date me fhsusnygds 😻💍

yourusername already am my love 💗

username WOWWW

kendalljenner stunning bestfriend 💋

yourusername love you 😘

username lando having her notifs on is so cute 🥹

username im in love with you.

landonorris NO I AM. STAY AWAY 😡

username LANDO LMAOAO

vogue 🤍 liked by yourusername

maxverstappen1 🔥📸

yourusername thanks max ☺️

maxverstappen1 someone tell me how lando's dating her

landonorris HEY 😟

charles_leclerc real max

yourusername the real question is how did i get so lucky with him!!

landonorris SHHH BABY NEVER SAY THAT 😣

adele my darling you look beautiful 🩷

yourusername i love youuu mother adele 💗

landonorris IM DATING AN ANGEL WOW PLEASE MARRY ME

yourusername i love you so much 😭

landonorris CBGHNCHD I LOVE YOU MOST BABY 🥰😍☺️

oscarpiastri lando fell to his knees in a walmart parking lot

landonorris can you blame me?? 🛐🛐🛐

username no we cant lando

landonorris it was a rhetorical question 👺

carlossainz55 my favorite model 🙏 liked by yourusername

username can lando fight?? 🥵🤤

landonorris YES GET AWAY SHOO 🤺

georgerussell63 bro can notttt fight

landonorris fuck you george

landonorris I CAN RUN YOU OVER INSTEAD

mclaren lando norris we're having a meeting this afternoon

mclaren looking absolutely stunning 🧡

yourusername love you admin 💋

landonorris FIRST liked by yourusername

landonorris DAMNNN BABY COME HOME AND KISS ME

username oh no..

landonorris ON MY NO NO SQUARE

oscarpiastri the second hand embarrassment i have rn

alexandrasaintmleux what 😟 yourusername ill save you bae

landonorris get me pregnant. 🫃

mclaren no we need you in racing conditions

landonorris you need me? that sounds familiar 😏🛌

maxverstappen1 MY EYES 🤢

mclaren REPLYING TO MYYYY COMMENT???

oscarpiastri ON MYY PHONE??

yourusername osc look away 😨

ladygaga so pretty 🤩 liked by yourusername

username 😻😍

landonorris get these heart eyes OUTTA HERE

yourusername BABY STOP HARASSING PEOPLE IN MY COMMENTS

landonorris "baby" 😍 anything for u wifey 🛐

billieeilish so fineee bby

landonorris SCRAM BILLIE

yourusername ILYY BILLIEEE 🤍

username lando is fighting for his LIFE 😭

username lando trying not to simp challenge level impossible

landonorris GUESS WHO SHE WAS SMILING AT YALLLLLLLL

yourusername i love you 💗 im always smiling with you 💖

landonorris I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABY FUCKING HELL

username you guys are the cutest to exist

carlossainz55 yeah until you hear them talk about each other 25/8

landonorris shut up carlos your just jealous

georgerussell63 you're*

landonorris 🖕🖕

harrystyles gorgeous

landonorris bye.

landonorris i cant compete with harry 😨

landonorris GUYS DONT LET HER SEE THIS

charles_leclerc too late i just heard a scream from the living room where she is with alex

yourusername HARRY OH MY GOSH HELLO I LOVE YOU JEHXBUYTNEGBYGYGXE

landonorris im going to kms. someone pick my casket now. he broke my girl.

mclaren our favorite girl 🧡

yourusername FIRST liked by landonorris

username im obsessed with them being first for each other 🥹

yourusername LANDO PLEASE I CANT 😭

landonorris THE WORLD NEEDS TO SEE YOURE WITH MEE

charles_leclerc NAHHHH LANDO

oscarpiastri MY EYESS

yourusername IM SORRY OSC BBY

landonorris dont call him bby 😡 im your bby

username "tell your baby that im your baby" 🥺

username HELPPP bros fed up with the comments

username LANDO HAS A MOMMY KINK CONFIRMED 😋

mclaren you're done buddy. no more mr nice guy. meeting at 5pm.

username ignoring the caption but its so cute that the only thing he posts besides racing related pictures is her 🥹 my heart liked by landonorris

username she's so beautiful wow liked by landonorris

username her smile is the prettiest thing ive ever seen liked by landonorris

maxverstappen1 lando... what about us 😣

yourusername BACK AWAY FROM MY MAN 🗣️🤺

username how the tables have turned...

landonorris YEAH YOU TELL HIM BABY ‼️ THATS MY WIFEY 🗣️

username their matching profile pictures are adorable 🥹 liked by landonorris

alexandrasaintmleux SHE WAS MINE FIRST 👹

yourusername im still yours love 💗

landonorris thats not what you said in bed last night

alexandrasaintmleux NAHH UNDER MY COMMENT??

georgerussell63 lando mate enough is enough 😀

landonorris literally leave no one wants you here

mclaren you've taken at least ten years off my life

username SOMEONE SEDATE HIM✊

username someone needs to get neutered 🫵🏻

carlossainz55 NO MORE PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT ☹️

landonorris pov my wifey after round five last night

username FIVE????

alex_albon NASTYY YALL FREAKYYY

mclaren why do I even try 😞

lewishamilton NURSE HES OUT AGAINNNNN 😦

[russellius]

via @.mathieucesar on ig

[cupofjoekeery]

Rebloging some amazing writers works because they all deserve love and recognition for going out of their way for us readers and creating some of the most beautiful fanfics for our favourite characters 😍🤍

❝Don't Waste Your Time (On Me)❞

Gator Tillman ✘ Win Lewis (OC)

Win Lewis - Stark County's resident troublemaker - has a reputation to uphold, and that doesn't include sleeping with cops. But when Sheriff's Deputy Gator Tillman keeps turning up like a bad penny, she's forced to reconsider her principles, giving into her attraction despite his many red flags. And maybe, just maybe, she'll end up being a good influence for once.

please, deputy? *

just a coincidence, i guess *

i hope that i don't fall in love with you *

a bad idea *

she's kerosene *

99 problems *

anything you say can and will be held against you*

like jack and sally * [ coming soon! ]

LOL *

hold me like a grudge

my insides are copper and i'd kill to make them gold

your number's up

epilogue

*denotes smut

EXTRAS

🎶 fic playlist ✎ ao3 link

[revelboo]

you are a monarch (king? Queen? Eh-) 🛐🛐🛐 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SEEKERS TRINE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I DIDN'T EXPECT YOU TO ANSWER IT QUICKLY A OMG HOLY SHIT, I HOPE YOU TAKE BREAKS IN BETWEEN AND DIDN'T FORGET TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF A💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

Why is it so hard to find comic screen caps of all three

True Romance Pt 2

Seeker Trine x Reader

• “Don’t you think that’s a bit much?” Skywarp grumbles from where he’s stretched out on his berth watching Thundercracker fussing with what he’s almost positive is every cleaning cloth they own, fashioning them into a crude little nest with one hand, the other cradling the human’s limp form to his chassis. When Star had gone to the medbay, Thundercracker had started cleaning your wounds, wings flicking slightly. Already enamored by the weird little thing even though it hasn’t really done that much aside from going boneless after being warped to the base.

• “It’s soft,” Thundercracker mutters. “It needs a soft nest.” Satisfied, he hesitates not really wanting to put you down. Venting, he sits on the edge of his berth and uses the tip of a servo to turn your head, trace an arm. “It’s weird how much they look like protoforms.”

• “That looks nothing like a Cybertronian,” Skywarp retorts, wings flaring in irritation when Thundercracker holds you out to him and tips your little face his way. And okay, your face is similar to a Cybertronian’s. Same number of digits on your hands, same bipedal shape. “It’s creepy, not weird. Squishy fake Cybertronian looking thing.” Curling his lip, he’s startled when Thundercracker pushes you firmly into his servos, freezing at the feel of that tiny, warm body now in his hands. Feeling the steady beat of your heart and the rise and fall of your breathing and then you make a low noise and hang onto one of his servos with a soft hand. “Creepy,” he mutters without any real conviction as Thundercracker stalks away to leave you in his care.

• Entering the huge, communal space they share, Starscream pauses in flexing his repaired wing at the sight of Skywarp stretched out with the human in one hand, a servo of the other hand running from your shoulder to a foot again and again as his brother murmurs softly to it in a mix of Cybertronian and it’s own language. Cooing at it like it’s a sparkling. From across the room, Thundercracker is pretending to read a report on his data pad and monitoring Skywarp over the top of the screen. As soon as he’s noticed, Skywarp is thrusting you at him and it’s a struggle not to smile at his brother’s sour expression. “Still out?” Starscream asks, laying a servo against you and feeling that steady beat, but not knowing if it’s too fast or slow. Not really knowing anything about humans at all aside from how fragile they are. He’d decided to take it on an impulse and because it had unwittingly saved him. Rewarding you with your life seemed only fair.

• “If we’re keeping it, we’ll have to feed it,” Skywarp grumbles, optics flicking to the human and away as he flexes the servo it had clung to. “Any idea what they eat?”

• No, but it can’t be that hard to figure out. Feeling you moving under his servos, he watches your head lift. Sees the exact moment you notice him and freeze, eyes wide. And you begin to tremble against him as he slides a servo along your spine. “Aren’t you lucky, pet? To belong to us,” he purrs, using a servo to tip your chin up to meet his optics and feeling those soft hands grab onto him. Because when they crush the Autobot resistance and take this world? Make it a new Cybertron? You’ll survive if you behave.

• It wasn’t a concussion-addled nightmare apparently, your heart racing as those huge servos flex around you and you stare up into those red optics studying you. Trapped in the hand of this giant monster. Wanting to scream and unable to make a sound as fear seizes you. Pet? Head turning when you hear the slide of metal on metal and realize there’s three of them staring at you. Realizing they think you’re a stray kitten they’ve brought home, that your continued survival probably relies on playing along.

Previous

Next

[balo-badartist]

hi!! i need to tell you this before I explode so please excuse mistakes and caps lock.

HI???? HELLO?? MY DUDE, MY GAL, MY *insert whatever pronouns you use here*!!! YOUR ART IS SO FUCKING PRATTY AND BEAUTIFUL AND AHHHHH!!!! AHJHHH!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHhH!!!????!!??!!?!??!! I AM SO OBSESSED AND YOUR LOZ ART IS JUDT *mwah!* chefs kissed. ypu are so talented and these are so pretty and so beautiful, gorgeous, stunning and ahhhhh!!! i dont have the words but like-

MY FINE FRIEND, YOU ARE INSANLY TALENTED!! HOLY SHIT!!!!

okay i got that out. sending many a hugs, high-fives and good vibes your way<3

OH MY GOODNESS THESE ARE THE KINDEST WORDS AIDIQJJWN MADE MY WHOLE DAY 😭😭🛐🛐 GRINNING FROM EAR TO EAR IM BLUSHING SQUEALING TYSM I READ THIS AS I WAS PAINTING AND IT GAVE ME SUCH A MOTIVATION BOOST 🥹💖

And my pronouns are they/she! (I’ll make sure to add that to my bio!) and the little bee on my head is my qp partner @queenvengance 🤭💖

Thanks again, friend! I APPRECIATE YOUR KIND WORDS 🥹🥹🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

[diorsluv]

feather , part 31

“ i’m gone ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

slightly (ish) suggestive, nothing extremely explicit

( socialmedia!au )

yourusername

liked by lhughes_06, luca.fantilli, trevorzegras, and 200,997 others

yourusername three fit checks all rolled into one 🤭

and thank you to my photographer mackie because he would cry if i didn’t give him credits

tagged: mackie.samo

view all comments

username77 😧

lhughes_06 holy shit

lhughes_06 wait i didn’t mean to say that

lhughes_06 actually no i said what i said holy shit

lhughes_06 fuck

lhughes_06 goddamn

lhughes_06 you’re so pretty

liked by yourusername

→ yourusername lukey are you sure your girlfriend won’t get jealous 😥

→ lhughes_06 so sure

→ markestapa he’s so gone

→ luca.fantilli we lost him boys 😓😓

→ edwards.73 what a fucking simp

→ _alexturcotte i mean… let’s not act like we’re so much better

→ trevorzegras speak for yourself man i’m not even trying to act _alexturcotte

→ jamie.drysdale z buddy i think you’re forgetting THATS MY FUCKING SISTER

→ mackie.samo yeah my pictures are really doing her justice here

jamie.drysdale be careful when you go out like that make sure to bring your pepper spray and shit

→ yourusername it’s okay my super cool boyfriend is really good at defense

→ jamie.drysdale yeah but is he good at offense 🤨🤨

→ yourusername might be even better than defense 🙈

username63 see i feel like jamie’s whole thread is just them dropping really obvious hints

username2 I WILL LITERALLY DO ANYTHING IF YOU GIVE ME ONE CHANCE

username16 🛐🛐

markestapa so

→ yourusername so?

→ markestapa what will it take to make you break up with him

→ yourusername MARK

→ markestapa IT WAS A JOKE HE TOLD ME TO SAY IT

rutgermcgroarty if i bought you a ring would you marry me

→ yourusername RUT

→ rutgermcgroarty HE PAID ME TO DO IT OKAY

→ yourusername how much was i worth ☹️

→ rutgermcgroarty an undisclosed amount that would result in my immediate banishment if it were to be disclosed

→ rutgermcgroarty but it’s way over what you think (probably)

→ yourusername UHHHH $500

→ rutgermcgroarty still over

→ yourusername wtf is he doing

username75 i just screamed

adamfantilli i know you’re not into younger guys but..

→ yourusername adam babes… 😭😭

→ adamfantilli ARE YOU GIVING ME A CHANCE

→ yourusername i’m not a cheater ❌

→ adamfantilli good

→ yourusername OH MY GOD DID HE ASK YOU TOO

username54 luke is concocting some evil shit

username85 luke fucking scored holy you’re gorgeous

mackie.samo you look very beautiful

→ yourusername be so fucking honest did he ask you to say this too

→ mackie.samo 🤐🤐

→ yourusername HOW MANY OF YOU DID HE ASK

→ edwards.73 me 😥

→ colecaufield me 😑

→ _quinnhughes me 🫢

→ _alexturcotte me 😔

→ lhughes_06 me 🤯

→ dylanduke25 me 😱

→ markestapa me 😬

→ trevorzegras me 🙄

→ rutgermcgroarty me 🫣

→ adamfantilli me 😢

→ jackhughes me 🥰

→ luca.fantilli me 😃

→ jamie.drysdale this is still MY FUCKING SISTER

username35 luke got the whole squad trolling

username11 MY BODY GOALS

jackhughes i love you so much

→ yourusername i love you too (?) 😭

→ jackhughes tú es muy bonita

→ yourusername tú es muy bonito también

username9 wait.. JACK??

username65 JACK ROWDEN HUGHES?????

username98 i’ve fallen in love and i can’t get up

username34 WHAT THE FUCK IT’S JACK?

username27 THIS CAN’T BE

lhughes_06 please just one chance that’s all i ask

→ yourusername i’ll consider 😳

→ markestapa this is very obviously favoritism

→ lhughes_06 bro you’re my biggest opp markestapa

_alexturcotte well now that you know that he asked all of us i have nothing to comment 😕

→ yourusername you know imy turcs 🫶🫶

→ _alexturcotte you should fly over i’ll pay for the flight tickets

→ yourusername free airfare ⁉️

→ _alexturcotte only for you

→ lhughes_06 bro you’re an even bigger opp 😟

username72 i’m flabbergasted but in the best way possible

username90 THE WAIST??

lhughes_06 you know i bet your boyfriend is thanking the lord he’s dating you

→ yourusername lukey you’ve commented like ten times already

→ lhughes_06 can i not appreciate my best friend?

lhughes_06 but i also think he doesn’t even know how he managed to convince you to date someone like him

→ yourusername well i think it’s for the same reason your girlfriend is dating you

→ lhughes_06 which issssss?

→ yourusername because you’re you

→ lhughes_06 so specific

username68 wait this is throwing me off..

lhughes_06 your boyfriend also (probably) thinks that if he ever lost you he would cry and beg for you to come back until you did

→ yourusername oh!

→ lhughes_06 yeah

→ yourusername well he’s done it before when we weren’t even dating so..

→ lhughes_06 oh!!

→ yourusername yeahh

→ luca.fantilli you’re both so fucking weird

→ yourusername he’s my best friend for a reason 🙏🙏

username17 WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ONNNN

yourusername

liked by jackhughes, markestapa, dylanduke25, and 212,168 others

yourusername he’s so pretty when he goes down on me 🥴

view all comments

trevorzegras YO

→ yourusername IT’S. A. SONG. LYRIC.

→ trevorzegras 🤫🧏‍♂️

→ yourusername what if i just decided to push you off a cliff one day

mackie.samo TOUCH TANK?

→ yourusername YOU KNOW IT

→ jamie.drysdale do you just know every song she knows

→ mackie.samo nah nah i jus put her on good music

→ yourusername I LITERALLY SHOWED YOU HALF THE SONGS ON YOUR MOST USED PLAYLIST??

lhughes_06 i know i do, you tell me every time

this comment has been deleted

lhughes_06 😳

→ yourusername 😳

markestapa GOLD SKINNED EAGER BABY

→ yourusername BLUE SHIRT OUT THE LAAAAAAUNDRY

→ _quinnhughes when will you ever stop

→ mackie.samo HE TELLS MEEEE HE’S GENTLE WHEN HE WANTS TO BE

→ dylanduke25 SO I THINK HE WANTS TO BEEE

→ edwards.73 GENTLE WITHHHH MEEEEE

→ yourusername never 😈 _quinnhughes

username15 why are his eyelashes so long

→ yourusername i ask myself that question every day

username7 they’re so in love it hurts me

adamfantilli what type of songs are you listening to

→ yourusername BRO IT’S LITERALLY A POPULAR SONG KINDA

→ adamfantilli sure it is

dylanduke25 interesting!

colecaufield your captions are getting raunchier every time you post

→ yourusername ITS A SONGGG

jamie.drysdale caption 🤨🤨

→ yourusername it’s a song 😔

_alexturcotte HEY WHAT IS THAT CAPTION SUPPOSED TO MEAN

→ yourusername HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO EXPLAINNNN

→ trevorzegras maybe “he’s so pretty when he goes down on me” wasn’t the best lyric to quote then 😐

→ yourusername i mean he is pretty when he goes down on me but that wasn’t my intended message

→ jackhughes HELLO????? yourusername

→ _quinnhughes damn kids these days

→ lhughes_06 bro cannot keep her mouth shut

→ yourusername we’re no longer best friends 🖕 lhughes_06

username44 the amount of times you’ve friendzoned him is unhealthy babe i’m starting to think you’re NOT dating him

→ username35 the evidence is too incriminating

username48 your vague posts infuriate me but i love you

rutgermcgroarty i’m going to projectile vomit all over the place

→ yourusername you’re disgusting

→ rutgermcgroarty YOUR POSTS ARE DISGUSTING

→ yourusername I’M NOT PROJECTILE VOMITING ALL OVER THE PLACE

→ rutgermcgroarty YOU’RE PROJECTILE VOMITING YOUR LOVING BOYRFRIEND ALL OVER THE PLACE

username32 well he has curly hair so it can’t be jack

→ username37 we’re being gaslit into thinking it’s jack when we’ve all known it was luke from the start

edwards.73 he always complains when we touch his hair 😕

→ yourusername it’s because i’m just better

→ edwards.73 HIGHLY debatable

→ yourusername ask the whole gc they all know it’s me 🥱🥱

→ edwards.73 in your dreams

jackhughes what would we do without your constant reminders that you’re dating someone

→ yourusername you would be sad because you would’ve forgotten i was dating someone!

njdevils 💓

→ yourusername WAIT WHAT

→ username24 YO WTF

→ username99 THE DEVILS???

→ username12 well now there’s no denying it it’s luke

elblue6 tell us when you plan to visit the lake house again! 😍

→ username80 ELLEN?

→ username31 yall arent slick 🤨

→ yourusername hii ofc i’ll tell you!! ☺️

→ username24 what is this 😨😨

luca.fantilli what the actual hell is going on and why is your caption the way it is

→ yourusername is your whole life just surrounded around questioning me 😐

→ luca.fantilli yes why????

→ yourusername i swear you can’t go one day without pissing me off

→ luca.fantilli I DIDN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING THIS TIME

→ yourusername “this time”

_quinnhughes BRO YOU’RE A CHILD STILL

_quinnhughes and also he’s gone back to his old ways and is whining about not being able to call you

→ yourusername tell him to call me anytime he wants and i’ll always pick up for him

→ _quinnhughes god you two make me sick

→ yourusername i was just being a good gf 😓

→ lhughes_06 yeah let her be a good gf

→ _quinnhughes absolutely sick to my ass

→ trevorzegras i don’t think that’s the saying

→ _quinnhughes shut up zegras

→ yourusername he’s right tho that’s.. not the saying

→ _quinnhughes i’m sick to my stomach which just happens to have fallen in my ass from the amount of times i’ve seen some lovesick post from either of you

username5 quinn’s a professional hater

username43 so tell me why i thought you and luke had been dating this whole time

→ username39 i think we all know why 🫢

username30 touch tank is luke coded.

lhughes_06 you’re pretty when you go down on me too

this comment has been deleted

next chapter notes ) so this is my 69th post AND I WAS FEELING A LITTLE DEVIOUS.. so this is what the end result is and ngl i was kicking my feet writing this

tags: @aliaology @hockeyboysarehot @absolutelyhugh3s @jackquinnswife @freds-slut @love4ldr @blueeyedbesson @43hughes @v1olentdelights @dancerbailey3 @random-human02 @ho3forfakeguys @loveforaugust @cstads-blog @h0e4fictionalme-n

[ventique18]

Hello! Just wanted to slip something about the theory of sebastian being malleus father because they are so similar (yana, ilysm for making malleus he's so hot and hubby 🛐)

Been doing this for like, 20 minutes today LMAO. Welp, can't say it's a waste. Lemme tell you, before i drew the horns, i was like "holy moly, who are you?! And what did you do to my malleus." (Mal-Mal ain't Mal-Malling without his horns smh 😔)

Sorry if it's not good, my drawing abilities is yuck, so I'mma just drop this casually. Also i just wanted to say that i love your writings, drawings, and rambling about Malleyuu (i just like your content even if it's not related to Malleyuu or twst), it always made my day everyday ❤❤

Goodbye now, have an amazing day and don't forget to rest well!

Definitely not a waste of time holy shit I'm chopping potatoes and I CHOPPED THAT UP SO GOOD FROM THE SHEER FERAL THIS EDIT SENT ME HOLY SHIT GGRRRRGRGRGHGRHHRGGRHRHRGHR

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT AS IF I NEEDED ANY MORE REASON TO WANT TO FUCK MALLEUS UNTIL HE STRAIGHT UP DIES. MEN WHO LOOK THIS GOOD DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE. I WILL BITE YOU I WILL MINCE YOU I WILL TEAR YOU TO SHREDS MALLEUS DRACONIA OH MY GOD

HE LOOKS SO GOOD IN ASIAN CLOTHING OH MY GODDDDD. HE LOOKS SO GOOD IN GENERAL. HE'S PERFECT. THIS IS PERFECT. SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS THANK YOU FOR BREEDING WITH MELEANOR AND PRODUCING MALLEUS DRACONIA GRRRRRRR

THANK YOU FOR THIS NOW I NEED TO INHALE THE POTATOES I CHOPPED BECAUSE I AM STARVING EVEN MORE

[fellow-anime-weeb927]

Some things that Dr Ratio does (in my imagination-)

-he would read some books that you suggested to him(?)

-I can see him as a light-sleeper

-I wonder if he would listen to classical music?

-he would and will bonk you on the head lightly

-he would shiver if you trace his muscles (insert fangirling noises)

-he secretly wants you to play with his hair

-imagine him putting his hair piece in your hair (I wanna try it-)

-he might use a bri’ish accent just for fun and sip tea while doing that lol

-he would call you ‘my idiot’ hehe

-taking baths together is a must!

-gotta cleanse the mind and body no?

-study dates also a must!

-gotta make sure you aren’t entirely stupid (no offense and I’m no better!)

-he might kiss you to shut you up hehehe

-I can imagine the kiss would be like soft and quick or rough and deep •///_///•

-would back you up if you’re arguing with someone you hate

-by backing up I mean he literally offends the person with comebacks about their family, personality, looks, even their existence (calling them an accident lol-)

-then he’s gonna cuddle you like there’s no tomorrow (in private ofc <3)

-he’s touch-starved, change my mind I dare you >:D

-he would be begging for more of your affection and attention like a lil’ brat

-I can imagine him being possessive because you belong to him and him alone

-he would leave little marks on your neck on places where people could see (holy shit-)

-he may be a cocky and rude bastard to everyone but he’s caring and soft to you♡

-only you get this special treatment, he’s gonna worship you till you die♡

Ok this is a lot of stuff, I might continue, let me know and leave a like if you enjoyed~!✨

Also Dr Ratio supremacy forever🛐

[aventurineswife]

I FINALLY DID IT !!! (Sorry for the shitty quality)

might redo this one day cause IM NOT HAPPY WITH HOW THIS TURNED OUT 😭😭😭

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

SHADOWWWWW ONE CHANCE PLEASE ONE CHANCE!!! 🛐😭💖

Holy shit, she looks fine af- 😮‍💨

(would be finer if you showed her more muscular lmaoo 🧍‍♀️🏃‍♀️)

(Love that you used golden glitter pen for the chains hehe 🤭)

[kaeyahiya]

Alhaitham NSFW Headcannons

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Pairing: Alhaitham x (GN) Reader

Warnings: Explicit sexual content, use of strong language, mentions of marking, mentions of aftercare

Disclaimer: This is intended for adult viewing and I'm actively discouraging minors from interacting. I have plenty of other SFW content on my master list so please check that out instead

Word count: 587

Authors note: Y'all need to understand Kaeya is Number 1 in my heart but for the moment I saw this man's leeks before he even came out I was in lust. I want this man 🛐 Despite this, this is still pretty vanilla, since I haven't written NSFW in a minute. Anyway Hoyoverse had no right to make this man sexy but I love them for doing so. Please enjoy my self-indulgence. (I also posted this @ work so I apologize if there are any spelling errors)

Reminder that my ask box is open, so that means requests are open! Feel free to drop one ❤️

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Ah Alhaitham, the brains of a scholar, the body of an Archon, and the hands of a scribe.

If only he weren't so oblivious to every advance you try and make on him in the book

Seriously it takes him forever to get the hint that you wanna sleep with him

He's not exactly known for his social cues, but until you directly approach him and say "Hey please have sex with me" he won't cross any boundaries

We love a oblivious but respect king

God the second he gets though, his eyes sharpen and immediately pounces on you

He loves find your weak spots when you guy's fuck

His favorite one is your neck, he has a habit of absolutely making it leaving dark purple hickies wherever you can

He also enjoys watching you try and hide them the next day

Though Alhaitham is described as a workaholic with little to no regards to others, you are pleasantly surprised when he offers to go down on you

He'll definitely take his time making his way there though

Stripping you

Peppering kisses across you chest

Then your stomach

Then he spends a long time leaving hickies on your thighs

He's a huge tease is what I'm trying to say

Once he finally reaches your sex, he'll go down on you like a stranger man though

You, naturally, thread your fingers through his hair and when you do

Holy shit when you do he let's out a soft moan

And makes FUCKING EYE CONTACT WITH YOU

I eat that shit up aaaaa

He'll bring you close to the edge and then rip your high away from you

He will do this several times so do be prepared for that

"I want you to cum, but I want it to be with me inside you"

He's so hot you can't argue as he gives you one more teasing blow to your sex

Finally at long last his sheds his own clothing

I mentioned his body earlier but seeing it bare before you is like a spiritual experience

His abs, his tiny scars, his hands, his toned legs, his dick

You take it all in for a moment

His dick isn't huge it'd say a little above average but it is girthy and for a moment you worry how it's gonna fit

He says there's no need for you to go down on him at this point

You can tell his ready by the precum already leaking from the head

It's hot that going down on you made him this worked up

I will say he does make sure you're properly prepared before finally sliding into you

His favorite positions are missionary, laps thrusting and doggy

He's not very vocal during sex but once he gets close he will let out tiny gasps and whines

Which is both adorable and incredibly attractive getting a man of his demeanor to get that desperate

You'll know he's close when he whines and comes in for a desperate make out

He'll still prioritize your pleasure and make sure you cum before he does

When he comes he sighs and definitely gets this fucked out look on his face

Aftercare happens but it's Alhaitham, so it doesn't really involve cuddling or showering you with praise

It's more like helping clean yourself up and get you some water after sex, making sure your not in any pain

Whether it be a one night stand or a quicky he'll still care about all of that stuff

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Reminder that my request are open; so if you enjoyed please feel free to leave me a request ❤️ and if you really really enjoy feel free to leave me a tip! Totally optional and not obligated to do so at all 🫦

[love-toxin]

Holy shit?? That Link post?? My god dude. I love when people write him borderline feral… scratches an itch. No way someone who has been put through the ringer like that twice is gonna be normal about any loved ones they have (not that I’m complaining) TLDR: banger post ily & ur writing 🛐💟

(cws: totk spoilers)

hehee!!! im glad you agree!!! tbh you're right, I can't be convinced that Link wouldn't be doing the absolute most to keep his loved one in his arms and safe all the time <33 especially after the calamity and now the upheaval too. my sweet meow meow spent 100 years asleep and lost not only his friends but everyone he knew save for Zelda, and now in the wake of his victory he's lost her too and has to start all over again. plus the fact that he never really got to pursue anyone whether he liked them or not because of his duties--now, with a little less urgency on his hands, he can afford to spend time with you once he manages to woo you. but it so quickly turns into him obsessing over you and your health, getting overprotective, drowning you in affection and smothering you in equal measure....until soon enough it just isn't enough to be yours. he wants to be your everything, just like you're his everything.