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ratcatcher0325 · 2 years ago

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A Fraction of Justice (Chapter #30)

Chapter #30. They're becoming a real team!

Previous: Chapter #29

Next: Chapter #31

Word Count: 5,408 Read Time: Approx. 42 mins

CW: adult language

Tag list: @gatlily @patrocolus3 @beautifulunknowntrash @titan-god-420 @andraimeide @themarlo @cup-o-chai @lucentbliss @raccoontoaster @tolsizedlove @not-a-space-alien , @thegodmother007 , @honey-olive , @bittykimmy13 , @aceouttatime , @imvenusasaboy , @liminaldaze , @windshield-patent , @joxter-coded , @rosella35 , @narrans , @rubeau-art , @littlescaryinternetguy , @jae-from-discord , @kitn-underfoot , @secretly-small @writing-forever , @iinogongju , @tales-of-aestus-deactivated2023 , @itsgothgirlthyme , @make-me-giant , @reborrowing , @whatthisfemsheplikes , @soapysoap69 , @tinystrawberryshifter

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A Fraction of Justice

Chapter #30: Uncharted Waters

[Natalie’s POV]

Wonder Twin Powers? Really Nat? That’s the best you could come up with?

I chastised myself while I rolled my shoulders back trying to mentally reset. Calm down, focus on the screen. I knew I had more than enough work to keep me occupied, but I couldn’t shake the electric feeling of having gotten to hold him, not once, but twice in such a short amount of time. It’s like I could still feel his tiny heart thundering against the ball of my thumb as I propped him up and stroked his chest. His face had turned a bright, beautiful pink, his crystal blue eyes, wide and wary. Poor Alexander. He wasn’t exactly the touchy feely type was he? The part that drove me up a wall is that I knew he liked it. There was too much evidence at this point for any doubt. From that first day when he’d curled around my thumb in his sleep, to the adoration he’d shown under the influence of medication, to how flustered he’d been just now. Yet, he couldn’t get out of his own way. What was that about? A fear of being betrayed? A lack of trust? Or did he just not want to want anything from anyone else? Maybe it was a combination of all three or something else I hadn’t discovered yet.

But he had apologized in his own stiff and far too serious way. He’d literally fallen all over himself in the effort. I thought of the pretty paper flower he’d planted in my hair. My face grew hot. He may have driven me crazy half the time with his antics and weird complexes, but everytime he pushed me to my limit, he’d go and show this thoughtful, sweet side of himself that lay buried under layers of witty quips, sharp judgements and an easily bruised ego.

I realized, all the sudden, I hadn’t absorbed a single word of the last page and a half I’d scrolled through. God, I’m hopeless.

This little spot right by my elbow seemed alive with warmth and energy. Unable to help from peering down and sneaking a glance every now and again, I still couldn’t believe my luck: So far, at least, he’d chosen to stay exactly where I’d placed him, his little chair so close to my sleeve, he could lean over and tap me if he wanted. I became suddenly hyper-aware of all my movements, realizing even a slight shift of my arm could easily knock him over, if I wasn’t careful. Hello, down there, Alexander.

As expected, he was a much better student than me. Absorbed in his work, he leaned into the phone display, scrolling through some document as he read and took fastidious notes. Was it stupid that I couldn’t help but smile when he ran his tiny finger along his lower lip in that habit of his which always showed he was lost in thought? Yes, absolutely. But it didn’t matter. I grinned like an idiot all the same. I guessed what really thrilled me was the chance to get to know him better. I was proud to be picking up on his little ticks and quirks and learning more about what made the Little Nightmare uniquely him.

I found myself trying to peer over the top of his head at his notebook below. What did his handwriting look like? Somehow I had a feeling it was far more neat and impressive than my terrible scrawl. Why was I so enamored with someone simply taking notes? Why would I be happy to sit and watch him do just that for hours? I felt my heart swell. How lucky was I to have him in my life!

It was hard to imagine what things were like before him. Certainly I got less of a daily earful, but I also had no one to share my time, my space, and my meals with, at least not regularly. I hadn’t gone home to see family in months. The coursework was killing me. The day I’d found this tiny blue-eyed thief clinging to the shelf of my pantry, I’d barely slept in a week. My modest, cramped apartment had gotten awfully quiet. Well, besides the occasional next-door cat drama.

I’d known it for a while, but never was able to diagnose the exact malady… that is, until now. I’d been lonely.

I felt the gravity of that sink into my stomach and slither along my spine. It unsettled me.

That word made it sound like I was some fucking sad sack recluse who never got out. One wary glance around my desk with its utter mess of papers, pens, pencils, a dirty used mug here, and a few scattered half empty water bottles there, and it was clear there was room for improvement, as much as I hated to admit it.

Banishing the trash heap from my foremost thoughts, I turned my gaze back to the little tuft of disheveled hair, and the tiny hand that reached out to tap the on-screen keys that were never designed with him in mind. I admired the speed with which his little fingers slid to type out the letters. He had to get both arms involved, just to span the length of the device, which was turned on its side, but he made it look easy. It was clear he’d spent years honing his efficiency.

As I watched him lean far to one side to reach the “P” key, I had to bite my lip to resist the urge to nudge his little chair closer, just to help him reach. I knew well enough by now, that’d earn me a tiny jabbing finger in my direction and more than a few choice words spat out about not letting him do things for himself.

I sighed under my breath. That seemed to be our continual conundrum: How could I help him and show him kindness without him taking everything I said and did as a threat to his autonomy? What was wrong with helping out every now and again?

“I can feel you staring at me, Miss Marquez…” His tone was accusatory. I’d been caught. How could he possibly have known? He didn’t even bother to look up as he continued to copy something down on the tiny page before him. I felt my face flush. How could someone so small take me to task so easily?

I sputtered before managing a reply, “W-well… you can’t be fully focusing either, if you’re so worried about what I’m doing!”

“Natalie, the energetic force of your direct gaze is the proportional equivalent of two full moon beams on a clear, pitch black night… they’re impossible to ignore.” Goddamn. Still, he refused to even hazard a glance up. He could be a mean little thing when he wanted to be. Undeterred he kept right along, “You can’t assist me with my own legal matters if you refuse to study your own. If you aren’t interested in helping, I’ll just go find some other human’s pantry to raid…”

I rolled my eyes and groaned, “Fuck you, little bastard! You’re such a bully!” I pointed my index finger at his chest. That finally got his attention. He dropped his notes in his lap, craning his neck to meet my eyes.

He shook his head, brow furrowing, “Oh, c’mon, admit it. That was good. Moon Beams Marquez… maybe that’s what I’ll call you now. Since you’re so fond of truly atrocious nicknames, you deserve one of your very own.”

“Oh you want a war, Ale-Ale-Oxen-Free? Is that what you want?”

My finger, about as thick around as his little head, dove for his chest again, this time playfully pushing into his sternum and sending him rolling across the desk. The second he began to careen backwards, he gripped the armrests, clinging to the piece of furniture like a shipwrecked sailor tossed about on a tumultuous sea. I could practically see his raised hackles. Poor thing, I wasn’t trying to actually scare him!

His journey across the desk came to a sudden halt when I laid my hand across his path, easily catching him in the soft barrier of my palm, little chair and all. He immediately whipped around to see just what had stopped him. When he seemed to understand he wasn’t going anywhere, he relaxed his tiny white knuckle grip on the arm rests.

In spite of his painfully obvious fright around this whole ordeal, he insisted on pretending all was well as he sucked in a breath and locked eyes with me, puffing out his chest a bit in a far too late display of nonchalance, “That’s some of your weakest work, Natalie. It’s not even remotely original.” Oh yeah? Is that a challenge, little man?

Without giving him more than a second or two to catch his breath, I dove for his little ankle with my finger and thumb, pulling him closer to me. For all his show of bravery, he went right back to clinging to the chair, as he lurched forward, “You know I didn’t have to stop you, just now, I could’ve just let you roll right off the desk…” I brought him close, the tip of my nose only an inch or so from his fluttering chest. I was delighted by the jumpy little thing before me. It doesn’t take much to fluster you, does it, Alexander? His blue eyes shimmered as he blinked rapidly, waiting to see what would happen to him next. Delicately, I balanced his heel on the pad of my index, bouncing it up and down slightly, “Ah, he’s too stunned for words! You know I’d never let anything happen to you, right? It’s way too much fun to tease you to let you go that easily.”

At that, he huffed and rolled his eyes, retracting his leg and planting it back on the floor, “If you’re this invested in not getting any of your work done, the least you can do is be considerate enough not to interrupt mine!”

I wanted to quip back, but I knew he was right. I had completely derailed our efforts. But could he really blame me? I wished he could see himself through my eyes. Then, I was certain, he’d understand why it was so hard not to mess with him every now and again.

Adjusting my spine to sit up straighter, I returned my focus back to my monitor. I was gonna cram this boring ass shit in my head one way or another, goddammit. I started to read, taking notes on key terms. Every time I was tempted to ogle over my tiny counterpart, I reined myself in by fiddling with my blue ballpoint pen. Focus, Nat.

I read, fidgeted, reset, then read some more. The worst part was he would occasionally shift in his chair, clear his throat, run his hands through his hair to sweep the bangs from his eyes, or generally just move about in miniature and it was so difficult not to stare.

I clicked the pen to steady myself. He cleared his throat. I kept clicking. He sat up, board straight. I tried so hard not to let my eyes slide from the screen to look at him. I kept fidgeting.

Suddenly, I felt a tiny, yet forceful tug on my sleeve, accompanied by a strained voice through clenched teeth, “Natalie.”

“Hm? You ok?” There was no rule that said I couldn’t gawk at him if he got my attention first! I happily gazed down at him, still toying with the writing utensil between my fingers.

“Oh certainly, I’d be fine… if…” his face was all hard lines and creases. Uh oh. He was grumpy about something. Well, when wasn’t he? I prepared myself for another tiny lecture.

As he spoke these words, he plucked along the fabric of my sleeve to wheel himself toward my hand, resting alongside him on the desktop. Then, much to my suprise, he threw himself over the back of my hand, reaching up for the top of the pen, where my thumb rested. With a determined grip he clutched the clicking mechanism, staring up at me with blazing eyes “… if you stop clicking this damned pen!” He used his left hand to shove at the pad of my thumb, trying to coax it away from the writing utensil.

He was splayed out over my hand, his good leg balancing on his tippy toes while he kept the other leg away from the ground. His hair was in his eyes, his mouth twisted into a scowl. He was pissed. I couldn’t help but burst into laughter. His face went scarlet, even as his little body shook slightly from my bouts of giggling ricocheting from my torso, down the length of my arm and through my hand.

“Why are you laughing?! You are truly the most obnoxious desk mate I could have possibly conjured up and you have the audacity to laugh at me?!” His left hand was quick to grip onto the knuckle of my index for better balance.

“Oh my god, you’re so mad. Look, I’m s-sorry. I’m sorry, Alexander. I didn’t realize how… annoying that was. It’s just a tick… of mine when I’m distracted…” I was barely even able to get a word in, between all my involuntary chuckling.

“Oh really? Really?! You don’t understand how this could be annoying??” He was practically growling at me, his eyes blazing as his mouth turned into a grumpy, dissatisfied frown. He practically smacked the tip of my thumb away and then proceeded to use the flat of his palm to furiously click the pen over and over again in as rapid succession as he could manage all while boring holes into my skull with his vicious little gaze.

I waved the white flag, “Alright! Alright! Point made! You’re just mister particular about every little thing aren’t you? I didn’t even click it that fast!” I guided his hand away with a small flick of my fingernail under his little elbow.

“You might as well for all the noise you were making with it. Do you realize how obnoxiously loud that mechanism is, sitting right next to me?”

“Point taken. I’m sorry, Alexander…” I shifted my grip on the pen and transferred it to the surface of the notebook via my left hand. Then, taking advantage of his body being slightly slumped over my fingers, I gently squeezed his upper arm against the side of my index with the pad of my thumb, anchoring him to my hand. Lifting him up to eye level, I delighted in how his body splayed across my knuckles as his legs dangled.

The moment he was airborne, he flushed brightly, squirming a bit as he gripped onto my finger with both hands. I’ve gotcha, I won’t drop you, you’re okay.

“W-what’re you…?”

“I’m sorry for being a foolish, obnoxious human that kept you from your favorite thing in the world: getting your nerd on. I do solemnly swear before this jury of one to dedicate myself to the serious business of helping this little lawyer-to-be prosecute the hell out of those piece of shit humans that dared to fuck with the smartest little man I’ve ever met.” As I spoke I held my hand up as if taking an oath. He stared at me, a smirk curling his lips as he caught on.

***********

Finishing her lighthearted display of solidarity, she leaned in closer, the tip of her finger headed straight for the crown of my head. It wasn’t that long ago I would’ve jerked away and shunned her touch, but now, I let her clear the bangs from my face with only a miniscule spike in the rhythm of my heartbeats. What sort of witchcraft did she possess that within a few seconds’ time she’d managed to take me from scowling and shouting at her, to quietly thrilled at the touch of her fingertip on my scalp?

Lawyer-to-be. She’d actually said those words, out loud. I thoroughly relished the sound of them. The pad of her index lingered, settling between my shoulder blades. Her touch was warm, soft.

“I’m not exactly used to having to share a workspace with someone so… perceptive when it comes to all the little details. Will you forgive me?” That was a nice way of saying someone with a miniscule perspective and, therefore, a hair-trigger sensitivity. She couldn’t possibly understand though, all her flurries of movements, her thoughtful humming, her simple fiddling with office objects, while minor infractions to her, were frustrating, impossible to ignore distractions to me.

She was waiting, anxiously, for my reply. I propped myself up on one elbow, tipping my chin, “I’ll be drafting a workplace contract that stipulates all unacceptable, obnoxious and counterproductive behavior. Upon your consenting signature, I’ll be willing to consider your apology.”

Her brow furrowed as she wrinkled her nose, “You’re such a fucking prick, I genuinely can’t tell if you’re serious or not.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at her bewilderment, before responding, “If you want to be a lawyer, Ms. Marquez, you’ll need to get much better at telling when someone is playing a practical joke on you.” Much to my amusement, she genuinely breathed a sigh of relief.

“Well, I have no doubt, with you teaching me, I’ll get better soon enough. Now, little nerd, are we doing this? Like, for real?” She offered the tip of her index finger to shake. I took it in hand, and shook heartily, “That settles it. Our case has my full, undivided attention from here on out. Okay?” Our case. I had a case. A real one. And a human to help unlock the barriers that came with filing it, “Don’t look so excited. First of all I’ve never seen you this giddy without hardcore drugs and secondly, you realize that means you’re stuck with me… like all the time now, right?” I couldn’t believe I was just allowing her to lay me across her hand while we had this conversation. When did I become the sort of man who would let a human do this to me and not give it a second thought? When did I become the sort of man who liked it?

“Isn’t that the hell on earth I’ve endured up until this point? What’s changed exactly?”

She visibly rolled her eyes before answering, “Oh my god you’re such a drama king. No, you little bastard. I still had class before. Now, I’m all yours!”

“Ah, yes, how could I ever forget the infamous, what’d you call it? Ah, yes, ‘rat jail’ incident? On a separate point entirely, you can’t skip your lectures! We need all the information we can get. The last thing I need is you falling any further behind than you already are!”

“Ouch! You really couldn’t resist punching me when I’m down could, ya? Nah, it’s fine, I’m close friends with the TA in my main lectures, I’ll tell him I’ve had some kinda family emergency. Besides, he owes me a favor, I’ll guilt trip him into counting me as present and he can just send me the taping of the lectures they always keep for archival. Piece of cake!”

While I disliked the nonchalance with which she was ready to break the rules, I admit it left me feeling thankful that she was willing to devote all her time to me and my work. Was I feeling strangely warm again? The flush of color to my face seemed to know no limit today.

My gratitude was short lived however, when my world flipped as she gripped me beneath my arms and plucked me up, now perpendicular to the floor far below, I dangled between her fingers, as she began to look me over, head to toe. I tried my best to hide the rhythm of my beating heart, but she seemed already preoccupied as her gaze landed on my injury, “While we are paused, though, now’s a good a time as any to mention we really should start doing some PT on that leg of yours before the muscles atrophy too much.” She used the pad of her finger to cradle my right heel, her face showing compassion laced in her furrowed brow.

I cleared my throat to get her attention, “I concur. Though, I’ll have a much easier time working on said muscles if I was ever allowed to use them….” I cast an accusatory glance at the finger and thumb which held me captive.

“You know, on second thought… forget what I just said. I can just carry you around wherever you wanna go…” she rubbed her thumb over my chest. Why did the mere brush of her finger elicit such a strong physical reaction from me? I was all red and uncomfortable again.

“No! No, we’ll none of that! Bad human! Put me down! Right now!” I batted at her fingers, knowing full well it was of no use to fight her grip, she’d have to release me herself. She stuck her lower lip out and pouted, dishing out the puppy dog eyes with extreme fervor, “No! I won’t be contradicted or manipulated. Down, I say!” I scowled, folding my arms over my chest.

“You’re no fun, I hope you know that, little sourpuss.” She cocked an eyebrow, playing the game with as much enthusiasm as I was, before carefully lowering me into my chair.

Slowly, after taking a moment to settle, we returned to our work in earnest. She tried her level best not to fidget and when she failed in this endeavor a terse calling of her name was enough to correct her.

In this way, minutes faded into hours, that cascaded into days, and before I knew it, weeks had given way to months and now we were on our 9th week of working together.

I already filled one of the notebooks I’d been given from cover to cover and was halfway through my second. I’d run through countless pencils during that time, too. She’d always tease me and pretend to read my writing, either by looming over my shoulder or plucking up the tiny (to her) booklet and, pinching it very carefully between her fingers, but, much to my satisfaction, the letters themselves were far too small for her to distinguish with her naked eye. My work was mine and mine alone, a fact that made me swell with pride.

I’d managed to go over Natalie’s data plan on her phone about three weeks in. When she’d glanced down and noticed the warning message, she’d raised her brows, plucking the device up and away.

“What the fuck?! You ran through my entire data plan for the month!! How?! Why didn’t you keep it on wi-fi???”

“Your wi-fi is abysmal. You know this. You complain about it daily. I wasn’t going to let such technological handicaps hinder my progress.”

“Goddammit, Alexander! You realize I have to pay for that right? Please tell me you at least didn’t know I was getting charged…”

“… I had no knowledge of charges incurred…”

“Oh my fucking god! You’re a terrible liar! You did know didn’t you? Little Nightmare, you’re going to bleed me dry, I swear to god. Were you just… not gonna tell me?!”

“Not until I finished compiling evidence! You would’ve switched me back to wi-fi and I would’ve suffered greatly due to those agonizing connection issues!”

“So you’d rather charge me hundreds of dollars than wait for a webpage to load for like… 20 extra seconds?!?”

All I could do was shrug.

“Fuck!”

Clearly, our path to success was not without its occasional speed bumps, but I’d characterize our forward momentum as generally headed in a positive direction. For example, while Natalie made progress on her coursework, with help from yours truly, of course, she also assisted me in exercising the torn muscles of my leg as we began the process of rehabilitation. Working out every day, with the added benefit of having plenty of weight resistance in the form of giant fingers that could counterweight whatever exercise I was engaged in, I made steady progress.

With the help of the aluminum forearm crutch (regrettably provided by the very same institution I was working so aggressively to destroy) I was now able to walk short distances without considerable pain, and I could stand with my weight shifted off my right leg with comfortable balance. In any case, it felt delightful to walk on my own two legs again, even if only for limited stretches.

The other utterly delightful benefit of our new arrangement was that I effectively got to attend law school with her. She’d managed, somehow, to convince her teaching assistant friend to send along the lectures, poorly filmed in the back of a sweeping hall, the auditorium-like seating steeply raked around a small stage, a massive projector behind the professor as he gestured emphatically and spoke into a lavalier microphone. It delighted me to no end how, from this perspective, the camera angled down on the spectacle below, how small the lecturer seemed, dwarfed by the silhouette of students’ shoulders. I would never admit this to Natalie, but as I watched, hanging on every word of his teachings, I couldn’t help but squint and picture myself in his place. Small, yes, but deeply convicted, passionate and knowledgeable, making up for my stature in my engaging rhetoric and undeniable love for the subject I was imparting.

All in all, Natalie saw to it that I ate remarkably well, and we both finally got an adequate amount of sleep for the first time either of us could remember in our recent histories. I admit, I found her less desirable quirks much more manageable on a full stomach and with adequate rest.

She’d even managed to convince me to tear myself from my work on occasion to watch some serialized television show with her, or cheer her on as she played video games with all sorts of fantastical creatures to vanquish. Her taste in media was abysmal and her proficiency in gaming was even more lacking, but… I admit, the way my heart swelled when she laughed until she cried at some poorly executed joke on her show, or she growled in frustration, swearing this time she was going to beat the enemy she’d been trying to vanquish for the last hour and a half because she ‘could feel it in her bones’ and, she was destined to win because she had her ‘grouchy little good luck charm with her’ went far beyond anything I’d ever experienced.

On nights like these, I could always see in the twitchiness of her fingers how badly she wanted to cradle me against her chest or in her lap, but she always settled me on the back of the couch just beside her, lounging in my own designated blanket pile, instead. Her show of restraint meant a great deal to me. And at the same time, I couldn’t help but reflect on how impossible my current situation would’ve seemed to me just a few weeks ago. Not only was I surviving in the company of a human, but… dare I say it? I was thriving.

I was working harder than I’d ever had in my life and yet I’d never felt more at ease or more enthused to leap from bed each day and dive eagerly into the task at hand. And as my heart swelled and warmed in the comfort of the only stable living situation I’d ever known, the world outside the apartment walls grew ever more frigid.

The rainy chill of early fall had given way to the crisp, icy, cold of winter, as snowfall became a regular occurrence. I’d never been more grateful to be safe, warm and dry than when I watched the snow flurries batter the window panes and the creaking winter wind howl through the skeletal branches of the barren trees.

It was on such an icy winter morning, seemingly no different than the ones that’d come before it, that this comfortable routine was suddenly and undeniably altered.

I was proud of the fact that I’d gradually forced Natalie to get up earlier and earlier to take advantage of the day. If it had been up to her, I’m almost certain she’d have slept in until eleven every morning! What a waste of precious time! I’d served as her much maligned alarm clock for many mornings before this, making all sorts of obnoxious sounds until, in groaning frustration, she’d rise. I wouldn’t stop until she stood from the bed on both feet. She very much wanted to throttle me in the beginning and I was grateful she hadn’t given in to her impulses. But now we both regularly woke around 5:30 or 6 am.

All that to say, on this day in question, at the fateful hour of 10:30 am, we’d already cooked, eaten and put away breakfast, shared tea (I’d discovered that earl grey was by far my favorite) and had been working for several hours when a sharp rap at the door pricked both our ears.

My stomach dropped, as I feverishly searched Natalie’s features for an indication on how to interpret this unexpected interruption. Just because I’d become gradually more accustomed to this human’s presence didn’t mean I felt at all ready to be introduced to some unknown stranger.

Her brow furrowed as she sat very still. It was clear she didn’t know who it was either. Locking eyes with me, she clocked my nerves immediately. I admit I was disappointed that she’d read me so easily, I’d hoped I could’ve managed to put on a braver countenance than that. Upon seeing my stiffened spine, she brushed a finger along my back, in an attempt to coax me into a more relaxed state. Suffice it to say, it was hardly effective, “I’m gonna ignore it. Might just be UPS delivering something to the wrong door or like… Mormons or something…” We both pretended to ignore the howling wind and active sheets of ice and snow cascading from the sky that made those theories less plausible.

Another series of knocks, harder, much more insistent. We both jumped at the harsh pounding of bone on wood. Whoever it was, they were awfully emphatic.

“I guess I should probably go see—“ As Natalie spoke, she rose from her chair, crossing towards her bedroom door. Adrenaline coursed through my veins. What if something dangerous awaited her on the other side? I wasn’t exactly in the most advantageous position to help her, even if my leg had been fully functional. Just as she’d crossed before the door, already ajar about a quarter of the way, and her fingertips had brushed the knob, there was the distinct clamor of a key sliding into a lock and the grind of that lock sliding open.

Natalie’s eyes widened in disbelief and shock, while I leapt to my feet, reaching for my cane to steady myself. The color drained from her face as she heard the initial creak of her door opening. She whipped around and leaned down to address me, “Stay here, and hide. Don’t come out until I come and get you. There’s only a few people who know where my hidden key is, but if this is something else… I just want you to be safe, I don’t want you getting hurt. Don’t pull some stupid hero shit on me, you hear me? Keep yourself hidden. Do you understand?”

I nodded, having no intention of cowering like a frightened child while she confronted the mystery currently entering her apartment. She gave me one last look before turning on her heel and exiting the bedroom. The second she left, I scrambled to the pen holder, fishing out her rather sharp letter opener, and brandishing it like a pike in my left hand, I stood armed and wary, straining to hear the sounds of giant footsteps, and an opening front door beyond that, over the cacophony of my own ragged breath and thunderous heart.

I had no clue just what lay in wait for us from behind that door, but I would later come to the undeniable conclusion that nothing would ever be the same from this point forward

#Rule Number One of working with tinies: Do NOT click the pen #Poor Alexander #Nat is so distracting #How dare she #a fraction of justice #oc: alexander #oc: natalie #g/t related #g/t writing #g/t angst #g/t community #giant/tiny #g/t fluff #size difference #g/t

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amiscreations · 2 years ago

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Seeing Def Leppard and Motley Crue at the Stadium Tour in Bramall Lane, Sheffield - 22/05/2023✨

Ok I’ll try and keep this as brief as possible, but I also want to include as many fun details as possible! also how has it been eXACTLY ONE WEEK since this happened aAAAH??? (from when I'm posting this at least)

Before the Show

So we started queuing at 8:30am, and we weren’t even the first people there! There was a group who had been queuing since 4am!

We immediately clicked with this group and we ended up becoming great friends, and they made the experience much more enjoyable!

I also had a few issues with my ticket, as I needed to print it but never got the chance (story for another day) so I had to go down to the ticket office like three times😅

Just before we went in the nerves suddenly hit me: I HAD to get my spot that I’d queued 7 hours for.

As soon as I was let in I got the biggest adrenaline rush of my entire life, and although the staff were telling me not to run, I ran, and they didn’t stop me.

And I got a spot at the barrier with my friends!

it was at this point that reality started to set in...

after 7 months of waiting for this very moment I was HERE

Vivas came on after about 45 mins and they were AMAZING???

I was just looking at Tyler the entire time tbh bc he looks sO MUCH LIKE SAV ITS AAAAAA

also the lead singer was absolutely losing his mind at how big of a gig this was for them and I felt so happy! His joy was honestly infectious and I think they’re gonna do great things!

Mötley Crüe

After Vivas it was about a 30 min wait until Crüe, and every time we thought they had finished setting up the stage they added one more thing lmao

also Ryan was hanging around in the photo pit and he took our photo AWWW

I saw him the next day and he actually sent it to me, so now I have the very photo that Ryan Sebastyan himself took!

anyways the stage set up for Crue was just a little over the top imo perhaps to compensate whaaaat

they also had this extremely long opera(?) intro which just went on for way too long

and then they had that fuckin aLARM THING WHICH WAS SO LOUD

when the guys eventually did come on I will admit it was incredibly surreal... like tHAT is Nikki Sixx RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME??

Nikki was wearing the coolest jacket at first I want 23 of my own

Vince was uuuh Vince

like he wasn't terrible in person but listening back it is... not great

aNYWAY John 5 was actually so cool and fits in with them really well but he’s just not Mick Mars soz John

he also did this thing where he just drooled over the side of the podium?? like bro that was just so unnecessary JHGFGJK

also the music was just sO LOUD I found it hard to tell which some was which at first aND I WAS WEARING HEARING PROTECTION

at one point Nikki threw a bottle of Fiji Water and it landed right behind the security guard in front of me... I didn't want it😂

about midway through the set Nikki addressed the crowd and actually brought a kid up on stage and took a selfie with him which I thought was really cool!

Aaaand then Tommy addressed the crowd and asked women to show their tits🙃 and of course some did. oh Tommy

then they played Home Sweet Home and let me tell you Tommy can sHRED on a piano

tbh the strippers (yes for those that dont know they have *female dancers* dancing on stage to some of the songs) were probably putting in the most effort out of anyone up there

I think my favourite part was when they did the medley of covers, so Smokin’ in the Boy’s Room, Blitzkrieg Bop and Anarchy in the UK

they ended with Kickstart my Heart which was a lot of fun!

Def Leppard

it is TIMEEEE

there wasn't a long wait at all until leppard bc I think the show was a little behind schedule

but then when the countdown came on the screen it was the longest 6 mins of my life

and then Joe’s cover of Heroes came on and AAAAAAAH

THEN IT WAS THE INTRO TO TAKE WHAT YOU WANT

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

THERE THEY ARE DOING WHAT THEY DO BEST

it wasn't so much of a shock seeing them in person as I had seen them at the signing two days ago, BUT STILLL THATS THEMMMM

And Joe was wearing this soon to be ICONIC Union Jack blazer

Sav was wearing a polka-dot gradient suit (you know the one)

Phil and Viv were wearing THEE most gorgeous suits

Tho I'm kinda disappointed that Phil wasn't shirtless😪(jk)

And Rick in his sparkly tie dye shirt which I another thing I want 245 of

honestly the rest was a bit of a blur but in a good way!

I started losing my mind whenever they would come out onto the catwalk bc tHEY WERE SO CLOSE AND LOOKED ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL

aLSO they're recording the performance for a DVD (I think) so hopefully we will be able to watch back the pro shot version at some point!

also I hope I'm in it bc at one point they were in the photo pit pointing a camera directly at me BBFJKBFJK

oh also Ross Halfin was there I forgot to mention that LMAO

I think during Armageddon It something happened in the crowd behind me bc the security guards were standing on the barrier basically leaning tf on me as if to get a closer look at what was happening

so yeah I missed the majority of that song LOL and I never did find out exactly what happened, although I did hear that someone got escorted out

also just before Love Bites my phone died so I spent the first half of that song faffing about with my portable charger which thankfully charged your phone super fast

they also played Promises which for some reason caught me right off guard? it was so good tho and I didn't realise how hard it went until I heard it live!

and then it was the acoustic section which I was looking forward to the most (tho I honestly think it got cut short bc they only played like two songs and the show was behind schedule) bUT IT WAS STILL ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL

This Guitar is my fave off of DSH and hearing it live was just incredible

I love how you can just hear all their voices so well

aLSO IT WAS DEDICATED TO STEVE😭

Joe also said that Steve’s mum was in the audience and I think everyone in the stadium started to cry

and then it was Joe and Sav’s lil duet in When Love and Hate Collide which was so awwww

I can’t believe I actually got to hear Sav sing irl sOMEONE RESUSCITATE ME

anyways moving on, hearing a stadium sing “ROCKET, YEAHH!” is a religious experience I stg and its just something that cannot be replicated in a video

OMG HEARTBREAK AND SWITCH WENT SO HARD

the power that Phil and Viv held while walking out together onto the catwalk playing mf Switch 625

and then they started playing Hysteria and everyone started crying again

also they did the new alternate ending and if you weren't crying before you were then sorry I dont make the rules

The last song was Photograph ofc and thy put a bunch of photos from the leppard archives onto the screens🥺

they also put a bunch of photos that Ryan took of the crowd and tHE ONE WITH ME AND MY FRIENDS WAS UP THERE AAAAH

and just like that, Kings of the World started to play

I felt like my entire life had been leading up to those 90 mins

it broke my heart to walk away from the spot I had queued 7+ hours for, but my head was now full of incredible memories

bring on Wembley!

#OMFG that was l o n g #but it was so much fun reliving all the lil memories #its been a week and I miss Them every day #110% the best day of my life #if you ever have the opportunity to see Leppard then DO IT #you will not regret it #I can confirm that I will be going to as many of their future shows as humanly possible from now on #anyways stay tuned bc I'm not done with my Sheffield posts yet👀#Def Leppard #Motley Crue #Concerts #The Stadium Tour #Sheffield

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theladyofbloodshed · 1 year ago

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I struggle with a similar situation with my partner where his low mood really impacts me and in constantly trying to keep up both happy which is draining… how do you cope with it? Do you have any advice?

I'll put this under a read more.

For us, I have to be quite blunt sometimes. We have a phrase "miserable blob". Sometimes I'm like baby are we going to be a miserable blob today or do something about that? I call him that because at weekends sometimes he will just sit there and stare at nothing or it takes him 30 mins to motivate himself to like make a drink. He hates being called that so it snaps him out of it a little bit, or he makes a conscious effort to try and snap himself out of it.

Sometimes I have to be tough and say get on with it, do x, y, z that you need to do then you can zone out.

For my partner, a lot of the issues come from the fact he doesn't like our flat (or England, hence the upcoming move) so some days I just need to get him out of the house. We go for a walk, go for a cup of tea, or visit my sister, just so we aren't in the house but then it's like a big, grey cloud is descending when we get close to home again. Some times, I nurture that depression and we will have a day watching films and cuddling up or we will try and talk about things.

When we first met, he started to experience panic attacks and he used to call me. I was quite firm that I cannot be his only support as the guilt I'd feel if I couldn't get to the phone and something happened would drown me. I made him go to the doctors despite him not wanting to. But I think you just have to be firm. In his country, mental health isn't really talked about and he would not let any of his family know. He eventually went on medication and hated it. It was a battle to get him to take his tablets and in the end he took himself off of them, which I wasn't happy with, but he knows his body best. I did make him tell his family too because I reiterated that I can't be the only one responsible for him, and that his family love him and would want to know about this. I think I used the analogy of a broken leg - nobody would expect you to walk on it and people would want to help you.

He did do online group therapy and hated it because every week was a battle to get him to log on, but after 2 suicide attempts I told him that I couldn't stay with him unless he went to therapy. I cannot be responsible for my mental health and his. He needs to take ownership of it. It was a hard conversation but I got through to him!

A lot of his stress came from owning his own business. When he quit that, it was even more stress because he literally went home for 2 weeks and was like okay i'm not doing it anymore, came back to England and had no job/income. He'd also invested all of his money into the business so he had a lot of feelings of failure. Now he works a 9-5 job he doesn't really enjoy but he isn't stressed about ensuring he gets an income every day, he is turning off his work brain at 5 rather than spending all evening on the phone calling customers and re-arranging his whole day to suit them, no weekends etc. Removing that stress has had a big impact because he could be very irritable and snappy with me then regretful of his behaviour.

We've had a lot of ups and downs due to his mental health and it is hard. I grew up with a mum who had depression and also made several suicide attempts, so it wasn't really anything new to me. I'm always calm in these situations and quite rational which I guess helps when my partner is having panic attacks. He'll tell me he can't see and his heart has stopped beating, and I'm like yes you can, it's in your head, you need to breathe in.

Sometimes I'll just say to him can you go for a long bath or a walk when I know he needs that to chill out - or if I need time away. We've been together long enough that I can say I'm going for a walk and if he asks to come too, I can say no I'd like to be alone and listen to music.

TLDR: be firm with your boundaries, be calm and rational, look after yourself too.

#anon asks

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koushirouizumi · 2 years ago

Video

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Digimon Adventure{s}/02/Kizuna ~ A.M.V. Preview {Unfinished} / [In-Progress] / W.I.P: - "BRO-FIST" {R.P.G Maker Track} Featuring: Taichi Yagami & Koushiro Izumi + Adventure{s} Chosen (Eventually) & Digimon

Digimon Adventure {Franchise} © Toei Animation / Akiyoshi Hongo

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. This is fanmade. No $$$ is being made off this fanwork.

Notes:

This A.M.V. is currently UNFINISHED. Hopefully you find some enjoyment so far though! {The intent is to complete the full track throughout the entirety of 02, possibly with other series sprinkled in Depending.}

{Spoilers for Eps 01~13 of Adventure} / Devimon Arc

[Note: Tags/replies that are Positive/respectful are OK!]

#koutai #koushiro x taichi #repeat koutai #repeat koushiro #repeat taichi #repeatverse #repeatverse au #repeat adv koushiro #repeat adv taichi #koutai and advs chosen #koushirouizumi posts #koushirouizumi amvs #amv: brofist #digiadventure positivity #digiadvs is a fun series #(This A.M.V. Eventually AKA ' Adventures is a FUN Series ')#(I held back working on this one forever because the track... well its)#(''''rpg maker'''' music yes ok honestly I'm not sure)#(if this one got used across other r.p.g. maker games as well but i HAVE heard)#(other tracks from same game used across various others since SO.....)#(I'm going to have to trim a TON on this one and it might not work out because the full thing is like 7~ full minutes long and FAST OK)#(BUT IF I Ever DO)#(m E YELLING INTO MY VOID 'You will SIT BACK and WATCH DIGIADVS or I will tAKE YOU DOWN WITH ME!!!!!')#(I'm also mainly aiming to time Koushiros scenes and I need to throw in Sora and Mimi and the rest too but eVENTUALLY If I Can Even Finish)#koushiro izumi is a good character #taichi yagami is a good character #(Even this took me 30~ min of my effort just now and more time to save and test it so please PLEASE be respectful on this post THANK)

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miekasa · 4 years ago

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okay but what about airport!levi? he gives quiet businessman vibes sitting in his slacks and turtleneck

IN HIS TURTLENECK 😭😭 He would also be quiet and to himself, but not in the emo way. You got me thinking about all of them now, so here are my other thoughts about the boys at the airport.

Levi

He thinks the idea of separating classes on an airplane is beyond stupid, but if the flight is particularly long, or particularly packed, he’s not above paying for business class for a little extra personal space for the two of you.

When he doesn’t do that, tho, he never picks your guys’ seats ahead of time, so sometimes you’ll be separated. Good thing he’s also not above lying at the check-in desk, “I’m in Zone 1, could my wife be seated next to me so that we can board together?”

They respond with an “of course,” and move your seats together, and Levi walks back with a content nod of appreciation. You are not married, and marriage sucks about as much as class separation on a 30 foot long plane, but it has its benefits.

Masks on, regardless. No debates. Pandemic or not, the mask stays on. Do not perceive him, keep the pressurized air sharing to a minimum.

Doesn’t wander much in the airport. There’s nothing in there that he hasn’t seen already, except for the marked up prices on touristy t-shirts.

And if you wander, he’ll usually just sit in the waiting area to watch your bags while you window shop and do your thing. If you’re gone for more than 30 mins, he might call, under the pretenses of, “Making sure you didn’t get lost. You know that Starbucks was near gate 41 to the left, not the right, right?” Like he’s a comedian or something 🙄

He does encourage you to get snacks before you board, tho. Airplane food is gross, and he would much rather pay for a $13 sandwich that you can snack on later, than for you to have to eat mush.

He’s got a little portable mug he takes with him for when he’s wants to buy a hot drink before getting on his flight. It’s cute.

Doesn’t fall asleep on the plane ever. No matter how long the flight is—at most, he’ll take a quick power nap somewhere in the middle if it’s over 9 hours, but other than that, he’s good to go.

Doesn’t mind if you fall asleep, and he always adjusts your neck pillow to make sure you don’t get cramps.

Jean

Travel champion. This man loves being in the airport even though he’s convinced it’s a time capsule, he fucking loves it.

King of “your airport fashion matters, babe.” Not necessarily wearing a whole three piece suit, but he does put in a little effort; it’s not just the first pair of sweats he has laying around.

Swears coffee tastes better in the airport. It does not. That does not stop him from buying it. He should learn to quit tho, especially for someone who hates airplane bathrooms as much as he does.

Charming with all the security personnel and desk assistants. You could be checking in for a flight at 4am, and Jean’s got people smiling and cheery for their shifts.

Bitches about the selection of movies on the flight, and learns to just download his own ahead of time. Gets really startled when he’s watching something and the flight attendants try to grab his attention for food or drinks—the very loud, classic, Jean Kirstein “HUH?”

On that note, he also gets startled by the loudspeaker announcements in the airport. He doesn’t know why he has to hear about American Airlines flight 2170 to Cancun, when he is not on American Airlines flight 2170 to Cancun.

Not opposed to paying extra for better airplane food or drinks on the plane if it’s the right time of day. He always finds something to toast to, plus he likes to treat you whenever and wherever he can.

Takes care of your overhead luggage and helps out the people around him if he sees they’re struggling. Gets shy when you call him a gentleman for it, and he rubs his neck, grumbling, “I was just helping the line move a little faster.”

Great timing, generous, will pick up your checked bags for you, and already rented a car a week in advance: 10/10 travel buddy.

Porco

He doesn’t like planes and there’s no solid reason why—nothing bad happened to him as a kid, and it’s not even that rare unfortunate incidents freak him out or anything—something flying just makes him a bit uneasy.

He won’t say it though, and he tries to keep it together when you’re checking in, but you can tell he’s anxious once you’re sitting and waiting for your flight to board.

He’ll ask to switch seats if you have the window seat, because somehow the feeling of being boxed in between the plane wall/window and another person makes it feel more like a car than a plane and he’s okay with that.

Going to the airport is one of the few times he hair won’t be styled, and falls in his face a bit. He usually throws on a beanie to cover it up, but you think he looks pretty cute either way.

Can’t usually fall asleep and he hates it because he just sits there thinking about the worst for the entire duration of the flight. But when you travel with him for the first time and coax him into taking a nap it’s so much better.

It’s about the only time he’ll let himself be publicly babied by you; but it makes everything so much easier that he doesn’t even mind.

So now, whenever you get on flights, he just puts his hood up, lays his head on your shoulder and waits for the magic to happen.

Bonus: you’re traveling with his friends, and Pieck and Marcel past to your seats, surprised to see Porco fast asleep on your shoulder. Pieck squeals, going on about how you must be a wizard to have gotten him to nap, to which Marcel just shakes his head, “Nah, he’s just really in love with her. Look at his face, that’s the calmest he’s been since he was five.”

Connie

Loves the airport. Not an ounce of organization in his soul though. By that I mean, yeah, he’s probably forgotten his passport at home, or forgotten that a full size bottle of body wash cannot go into his carry-on luggage.

Forgets to wear shoes that easy to take off and is fumbling over himself after the security check trying to lace them back up or put them back on.

Likes for you guys to have coordinating sweatsuits, and even though you don’t travel super often, Connie’s got at least 3 pairs of them lined up for you guys.

Sweet enough to drop plans or rearrange his schedule to travel with you if you were originally gonna be alone. He knows you can handle yourself, but he doesn’t want for you to travel alone if you don’t have to, especially if you’re going someplace far and/or for an extended period of time.

He always finds breakfast food to eat before he gets on his flight (if you two even have time to spare for food that is). It could be 9pm, but Connie’s asking for a breakfast wrap.

Hates waiting in the little pre-flight area. Claims it’s boring as hell and that’s why there’s no reason to get there 3 hours early 🙄🙄

He always spends at least 30 minutes browsing all the movie and TV show options available on-board, loudly exclaiming in excitement when they have something cool to watch—only to fucking fall asleep 10 minutes later. Right on top of you when he was oh-so-excited to watch Madagascar 2.

Always steals the aisle seat, even if it’s yours. It’s probably for the best though, because he has to get up to pee at least twice, no matter how short your flight is.

Makes some cheeky remark about you meeting him in the bathroom. He doesn’t mean it... unless he does. Unfortunately, you’ve never... successfully been able to do that out of fear of being caught by the flight attendants, but there have been a few quickies in the “family” (“It’s ethical, because technically we’re participating in the act of making a family, babe”) bathroom before you boarded. It’s his fault, not yours.

Armin

He really likes planes, and traveling in general. I think trains would be his favorite mode of transportation, but airplanes are good too.

I hate to say it but he claps when the plane lands. I will not elaborate or defend my stance on this.

Prefers the window seat because he likes to look out at the clouds as he’s in the sky.

He took his passport photo a little before he cut his hair, so the security personnel always hold it up and flicker between his ID photo and his current appearance a few times before stamping it. It makes him a little embarrassed because he can’t tell if they think he looks better or worse and sometimes he’s really fighting for his life convincing them that that’s him in the picture 😭

Listens to music rather than downloading a movie or watching a show, and always brings wire headphones to the airport so that it’s easier to share and listen with you.

If you fall asleep on him first, he’ll likely fall asleep on you shortly after. If he’s tired enough, he’ll fall asleep first, though he’s somewhat embarrassed and disappointed because he wanted to see the descent and skyline outside.

When he’s not asleep or window-watching, he’s somewhat fidgety out of excitement, rather than nervousness. He’s excited to be traveling and looks forward to wherever you’re going, even if it is just a weekend long work trip.

Hates traveling alone, though. It just feels particularly lonely to him to be going someplace foreign without company by his side. So, he’ll call you at every checkpoint and send you updates.

He only ever buys two things in duty free: shot glasses with the name of the city/country you’re traveling to, and whatever variety of button down short-sleeves are available to him.

Erwin

You knew this was coming, but this man is absolutely at the airport 18 hours before your flight takes off, and he’s driving like a manic getting there, like you don’t have all the time in the world.

Fascinated by anything and everything in duty free. Definitely spends more money than necessary on your return flight on the grounds that he was getting a good deal.

Exchanges money in the airport and keeps cash in his fanny pack. There’s no traveling without the fanny pack.

Plays crossword puzzles on his phone on the plane, and it’s just about one of the only games he has. That and Candy Crush—I get the feeling he’d be on level 500+ of that game and he always knocks out at least 10 levels on a flight.

Always a little surprised when he feels his your head on his shoulder, but he says nothing, and acts like he didn’t even notice, but there’s a telling little smile on his face.

Takes the most foul selfies of him and your sleeping self. In his defense, he had the best intentions; but that angle was flattering nobody. It’s too bad he’d already paid for the in-flight wifi and sent it to Hange because now you’ll never live them down.

You could probably get him to put on a (skincare) face mask during your flight. He forgets to take it off tho, and if you don’t tell him, he’d fully walk through customs with it on his face.

Accidentally gets drunk because he doesn’t understand that just because he can handle several glasses of whiskey in his favorite bar on a Friday night, does not mean it will translate on a plane.

#anonymous #yeah this is a roast of erwin a bit but im right i know i am #aot x reader #levi x reader #jean x reader #jean kirstein x reader #connie springer x reader #armin x reader #erwin x reader #porco x reader #aot headcanons

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adhd-attention-deficit-dumbass · 3 years ago

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Hi!! I hope you're having a nice day! I'm not sure if someone's asked this before but do you have any tips or advice on how to break down assignments into smaller chunks and scheduling when to do them? Breaking down tasks is one of the most common tips I've seen for schoolwork, but I feel overwhelmed just trying to break them down.....

Hello! I have a post about this right here! Go ahead and check it out. See tip #3

Sorry my reply took forever, consistency is not a part of this blog unfortunately

This is something I had to learn and practice so I suggest you do that as well and be kind to yourself knowing that doing this isn’t as easy as it may seem at first.

The feeling of overwhelm comes from not knowing what to do or where to start, there are a couple things you can try to get started which I believe is the hardest part.

#1 Just do the one thing

Often it can quickly become overwhelming looking at for example an essay and realising you have to write an introduction, a summary, gather sources, properly referense sources, make your thoughts into words and make words make sense whilst keeping it all in your head whilst new ideas pop up all the time and…you get the idea

If you’re having trouble getting started just do one thing for a short period of time

If I am having a bad day, reading only a few pages can seem daunting, add several papers, chapters and articles to that and I get completely overwhelmed and anxious thinking about all the things I have to do

So what I do is I pick the easiest/shortest task first and set a timer for either 15, 30 or 60 min. I suggest starting at 15 just to get a feel for it

Even if you don’t finish the task you still made an effort, usually this is enough to make you want to keep going, if not, a little is better than nothing

#2 Ask the right questions

Ask yourself questions that will help you with the process such as:

What do I need to do/what is my task?

Do I need anything special to perform the task? If so where can I find it?

Is there someone who can help me with the task?

Is the task doable in a short amount of time? If so, do I finish in one setting or several?

#3 Practice planning and evaluate!

When people give tips like ”schedual your studying so you’ll get it done!” They make it seem like its an easy thing anyone can do (maybe that’s the case for neurotypicals?) but in reality this takes practice! Help yourself by practicing doing things on schedual.

Schedual doing a small task right now, something you can do in say 15-30 minutes like read a few pages of a book. Write down what needs to be done and when. (Don’t start the timer until you’ve finished planning though)

Attempt to do the task and when the timers goes off - start evaluating! Did it work? If it did- why? If it didn’t-why? What things helped or made it more difficult, what can you do different next time to make things easier? What are your obstacles and what solutions might they have?

#4 Make time for planning!

What people often forget to mention is that planning wont happen on its own! Make a deal with yourself to plan for 15-30 minutes every tuesday night or something like that.

If you have someone who can help you remember that’s a great help

Otherwise set an alarm which repeats each week on the same time

That was all for this post! Thank you so much for your question and have a good day💕✨✨

#adhd #adhd blog #adhd post #adhd things #adhdblr #answering asks #asks #adhd asks #answered asks #posting schedual is nonexistant #thank you for the ask!

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btsqualityy · 4 years ago

Text

Assuage: Chapter 12

Yoongi x Reader

Genre: ABO (Alpha/Beta/Omega) dynamics, angst, fluff, smut, enemies to lovers

Warnings: Oral sex, dirty talk, unprotected sex, creampie (don’t @ me lol)

“Yoongi!” You squealed when he let you fall out of his arms and onto the bed, your body bouncing lightly from the force of your body hitting the springs underneath the bed.

“Gonna tell me that you want my knot, with a straight fucking face at that, and expect me to just react casually,” Yoongi muttered to himself as he reached down and grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head and you couldn’t help but to bite your lip as you looked him over. He wasn’t overly muscular but he was still firm, and your Omega loved knowing that he’d be able to protect you if need be.

“You gonna take those off, or do you prefer to stare?” Yoongi asked, motioning with his hand to your pants and you looked back up at him, not liking the way that he was cockily smirking sideways at you.

“I don’t remember you asking me to,” you shot back with a smile.

“Hey, I was gonna eat you out but if you wanna play games,” he shrugged and you immediately shot into action at his words, reaching down and practically ripping your button undone before lifting your hips and pushing your jeans and underwear down your legs . “That’s what I thought.”

“Shut up and come kiss me,” you replied. Yoongi climbed onto the bed then, crawling on top of your body and coming face to face with you.

“Hi,” he smiled as he looked down at you and you reached up, setting your hands on his cheeks.

“Hi,” you giggled.

“You sure that you’re sure?” Yoongi checked in again. “I really wanna do this but I don’t want you to regret it later.”

“I won’t, I promise,” you swore. “So stop asking me and kiss me instead.”

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” Yoongi muttered as he leaned down, pressing his lips against yours. You let your lips fall apart, allowing his tongue to slide against yours as you wrapped your legs around his waist.

After kissing for a few minutes, Yoongi slowly pulled away from your mouth, trailing his lips downwards and licking against the skin of your neck. When the tip of his tongue just so happened to glide lightly over your scent gland, you couldn’t help the moan that escaped your throat.

“Oh, you like that?” Yoongi whispered as he began to suck on your skin.

“What did it sound like?” You huffed out a laugh.

“Sounds like you wouldn’t mind very much if I marked you,” he mumbled against your neck and you let your eyes flutter closed as the image of walking around with hickies left by Yoongi flooded your mind. “Smells like you love that idea, actually.”

“You’re mean,” you sighed and you felt Yoongi nod as he began to inch his way down your body, pressing soft kisses against your skin as he did so.

“Only to those who can handle it or who like it,” he replied. “I think you’re falling into both categories there baby.”

“You also talk too much,” you rolled your eyes, lifting your head afterwards to see him finally reaching the apex of your thighs. He looked up at you as he leaned down and licked one, thick stripe up the length of your slit.

“You have the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen,” he whispered before laving small circles right on top of your clit.

“Fuck Yoongi,” you whispered, letting your head fall back against the bed as he began to suck earnestly on your clit. “Holy shit, that feels so good.”

He hummed against you and the feeling of it had your stomach caving inwards from how good it felt. You lifted your head again, your eyes widening when you saw that he was still looking up at you.

“Why are you staring at me?” You chuckled.

“I just can’t believe that I can have you like this,” he answered after pulling away from you. “I’ve been thinking about how you would taste on my tongue since I saw you take that fucking deer down.”

“Really?” You smiled, your breath hitching a little bit when he took the opportunity to slowly slide his pointer finger inside of you.

“Really,” he nodded, slowly pumping his finger in and out of you.

“Well, how do I taste?” You asked and Yoongi smirked as he began to fuck you with his finger faster.

“Amazing,” he groaned, leaning down and taking your clit back into his mouth while simultaneously pushing his middle finger inside of you alongside his pointer finger. With him using both fingers and his mouth on you, it only took a few more minutes for you to begin to feel that familiar build up in the pit of your stomach.

“Please, please don’t stop,” you pleaded. “God, I’m gonna come.”

“Come for me Y/N-ah,” he encouraged and sure enough, with a few more pumps of his fingers and suckles of his mouth, you orgasmed hard. Yoongi continued to stroke you through it, your breath coming out in little pants as your rode out your high.

“Fuck, you looked so beautiful coming for me,” Yoongi praised you and you gave him a small smile as you collapsed back against the bed, trying to regulate your breathing again.

“That felt so good,” you sighed.

“I can tell, look how you’re covering my fingers,” Yoongi said as he gently pulled his fingers out of you, holding them up and letting you see how the remnants of your orgasm were sticking to him. You were about to reply until you watched him stick those fingers into his mouth, sucking them clean. You weren’t entirely sure why, but it made your Omega happy to see him enjoying the taste of you.

“Tasty,” Yoongi said after pulling his fingers out of his mouth, sending you a quick wink.

“Fuck, I wanna suck your dick,” you blurted out, making Yoongi laugh as he reached down and began to undo his pants.

“As much as I’d love that, I want nothing more than to be inside of you right now,” he replied. “You did say that you wanted my knot.”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s do that,” you agreed immediately as you set up to pull your shirt and bra off, simultaneously watching as Yoongi pushed his pants and boxers down his legs, kicking them off with his feet and letting them hit the floor. His cock was fully hard, sitting up nicely as Yoongi moved to rest between your legs.

“I don’t have any condoms on me,” Yoongi admitted and you just shook your head dismissively.

“It’s fine. I’m clean and on birth control and I know you’re clean too,” you said.

“Wait, how did you know that?”

“I ran some tests on you when Taehyung first brought you to me,” you revealed, and Yoongi cocked his head to the side as he looked down at you. “What? I had to make sure that you didn’t have any preexisting conditions!”

“Is this what it’s gonna be like dating the pack doctor?” Yoongi wondered.

“Yes, so get used to it,” you giggled. Instead of replying, Yoongi just leaned down to kiss you again. As the two of you made out, Yoongi grabbed ahold of the base of his cock, letting the head of it smack against your clit.

“Ready?” He checked and after receiving a head nod from you, he let his hips move forward as he slowly pushed his cock inside of you.

“God,-” you choked, your head instantly shooting up to look down in between your legs.

“Holy shit Y/N-ah,” Yoongi whispered as he bit down on his lip, trying his best to control himself. “Fucking tight.”

“Y-you’re big,” you whimpered back.

“Complaining?” He questioned while simultaneously pushing his hips all the way forward, completely sheathing himself inside of you. You let out a strangled moan as your hands scrambled for Yoongi’s arms, gripping onto them tightly.

“N-no,” you shook your head as he began to steadily work in and out of you.

“Mm, I didn’t think so,” Yoongi smirked as he looked down at you, watching you closely. “You like being stretched out then, huh?”

“God, would you shut up and fuck me already?” You groaned, taking one of your hands off of his arm and using it to weakly smack his chest. Yoongi grabbed ahold of your hand then, intertwining his fingers with yours before pinning your hand down onto the bed.

“Careful what you ask for baby,” he cautioned, making sure that his knees were stable on the bed before fucking into you rhythmically. As he did, your back arched up from the bed at how good he felt sliding in and out of you and you couldn’t help but to squirm, your free hand that wasn’t being held down by Yoongi coming up to grab at the hair on the back of his neck.

“Good?” He wondered aloud as he fucked you, doing his best to try and find your g-spot every time that he dove back into you.

“So good,” you nodded, looking up at him with hooded eyes. “Feels so fucking good.”

“Mm, you smell so fucking good,” he echoed, leaning down and sticking his face in your neck. “God, I could keep my face in your neck all day.”

“L-like it that much?” You moaned.

“Love it,” he corrected you. “Smell so good and so pretty, makes me want to give you my knot.”

“Give it to me,” you encouraged him.

“Gotta make you come first,” he huffed, and it seemed like he redoubled his efforts because he began to thrust into you even harder.

“F-fuh, fuck,” you gasped when you felt him hit your g-spot. “Right there.”

“Gonna come for me baby?” He asked and you nodded silently. “Go ahead, come while I give you my knot.”

“Nngh, fuck, I’m coming,” you groaned, your grip on both Yoongi’s hand and his hair tightening as you clenched around him. Yoongi let out an actual moan, the feeling of your orgasm causing his knot to start to swell.

“God damn it, Y/N-ah,” he grumbled and you moaned softly when you felt his knot push into you, his cum flowing into you swiftly after that. You relaxed against the bed then while Yoongi let go of your hand in order to continue holding himself up above you.

“How long does it take your knot to go down?” You questioned and Yoongi grimaced a little.

“Between 20 and 30 minutes usually,” he told you, making your eyes widen a little. “But if I’m really turned on, which I just was, it can be anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour.”

“Min Yoongi, I swear to God, if you have me stuck on this knot for more than 30 minutes, you’re never fucking me again,” you threatened.

“Not even if I make you come again while we wait?” Yoongi wondered innocently and your breath hitched in your throat

“Well, I mean, if you think you can,” you shrugged.

“Thought so,” Yoongi smirked.

..........................................

“What the fuck Yoongi?” You exclaimed, clearly outraged. “You’re seriously telling me that you don’t have one fuzzy blanket in this house?”

“They make me too warm!” Yoongi shot back as he stepped out of the en suite bathroom that was connected to his bedroom, pajama pants slung low on his hips.

“It’s about to start snowing literally any day now! Do you wanna freeze to death?!” You chastised him as you moved around his bed, trying to make a small nest. After showering and changing into some of Yoongi’s clothes (his t-shirt and a pair of joggers), Yoongi asked you to stay the night with him which you readily agreed to. However, Yoongi didn’t expect to come out of the bathroom to you attempting to make a nest in his bed.

“Need anything?” He wondered as he leaned against the doorway.

“No,” you pouted as you stood back and surveyed your work. You had taken a few of Yoongi’s extra blankets, which were too thin as far as you were concerned, and piled them onto the bed. “It’s not like my nest at home, but it’ll do for tonight.”

“Good,” he chuckled as he watched you climb onto the bed and make yourself comfortable. “Can I come and get in your nest?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, smiling when he paced over to the bed and climbed onto it as well, settling his body next to yours. “You really need to get fuzzy blankets .”

“If I get them, I’d never use them,” he sighed. “They’d only be for you.”

“And what’s wrong with that?” You wondered. “You actually owe me for having me stuck on your knot for 40 minutes.”

“I literally made you come three more times in that 40 minutes though, so you can’t hold that against me,” he shot back, which made you blush.

“Don’t change the subject,” you said. “Either get more blankets or we’re gonna have to start spending the night at my place because I miss my nest.”

“Ok, ok,” he chuckled as he extended his arm, smiling when you laid all the way down and cuddled into the side of his body. “I’ll get you all the fuzzy blankets you can use and then you can set up a proper nest here, just like the one you have at your place.”

“And you’ll leave it up?” You asked. “You won’t take it down even if I’m not spending the night here and it’s just you?”

“I definitely won’t,” he assured you. “I’m gonna want to be reminded of your scent if you’re not here.”

“I don’t think you have to worry about that for a while,” you giggled. “You reek of peaches.”

“And you smell like freshwater and tangerines,” Yoongi smiled.

“Good, because I like wearing your scent on me,” you admitted.

“I like wearing yours too baby,” he murmured, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the top of your head as you turned your head and pressed it into his neck, inhaling his scent and letting it lull you to sleep.

..........................................

Tag List: @jikook-enthusiasts @veryuniquenamegoeshere @seolarsyj @littlrmills14-blog @preciouschimine @kt-rny @copenhagenspirit

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otonymous · 4 years ago

Text

A Bolt From The Blue (MLQC Shaw - NSFW) - Part IV (End): Courage, My Love

Description: The final chapter. The Big Bang 😉 Warnings: NSFW/18+: Explicit/graphic language & mature themes — reader discretion is advised. Potential trigger warnings: physically aggressive behaviour, ex-boyfriends, angst, size kink, profanity, vaginal fingering and intercourse Word Count: 4237 words (~21 mins of thrills, real talk, fluff and smut) Author’s Notes: To all the lovelies who have been patiently following this story: you’ve made it! 🥳 Welcome to the final chapter in this Shaw saga, where we aim to go out with a massive bang (pun intended 😆). Once again, thank you all for every like, reblog, and comment I’ve received on this story. You are all amazing, and I appreciate your support! 💕

As always, tagging the lovely @op-peccatori — I hope you enjoyed this story! I certainly had lots of fun writing this! Please note the potential trigger warnings listed above, dear readers, and happy reading!

Jump to Chapter(s): One | Two | Three

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The quiet is back.

But there is no peace, no relief in the monotony that follows after the man known as Shaw burst into your life like a bolt from the blue, stirring up long forgotten feelings like dead leaves animated by a carefree wind — here one minute, gone the next.

And with each passing day, hope erodes.

Little by little, your heart learns not to race as the clock above the magazine rack approaches 1:30.

It becomes harder to remember the sound purple sneakers made walking through the store.

You stop hoping, wishing, to see a head of lavender hair; that the next person to approach the register would place a cup of Pepsi mixed with Coke on the counter, amber-eyed gaze speaking volumes without uttering a single word.

Days become weeks, and then eventually…

…you stop counting them altogether.

* * *

“You’re looking good. I see you’re doing well for yourself.”

He reaches for the jade pendant hanging around your neck, eyes flashing with amusement when you hit his hand away with an audible smack.

“What the hell do you want? Haven’t you already done enough?” You say through grit teeth, steps quickening as you head for the better lit part of the street, trying to outpace the man and silently cursing the fact that returning to the convenience store was no longer an option at this point.

“C’mon baby, don’t be like that. It took a lot of effort to track you down and I waited a very long time for you to get off work. It’s cold, dark and lonely out here. Is that any way to treat your boyfriend? Or friend, at least?”

“ ‘Ex-boyfriend,’ asshole, and you’re no friend of mine, especially not after the way you took my life’s savings and ran.”

“Baby, it wasn’t like that—”

“Oh yeah?! Did you try telling that to the loan sharks too before they came and trashed my place? I had to move, Leto, because it wasn’t safe for me anymore, not with the way they kept harassing me and the neighbours asking about your whereabouts. They even came to my office. I lost my fucking job. So don’t come around here and tell me that I’m doing well for myself.”

Breaking into a sprint, your mind races as you try to think of a way to lose your ex, anger and anxiety prickling every nerve in equal measure. He had ruined your life, singlehandedly taken away everything you had. And though you had known him once, desperation has a way of making monsters out of men.

And right now, for all you knew, he was desperate and dangerous.

“Please, I just want to talk. I don’t need much this time, just a little bit to get me through this rough patch. I’ll pay you back, I swear, just…just STOP FOR A MOMENT!—”

You shriek to feel Leto wrap his hand about your wrist, but before he could tighten his grip, another arm is thrown around your shoulder, pulling you back until you’re pressed up against a hard, muscular chest, staring at a close up of Snoopy riding a skateboard.

“You got business with my girl?”

That voice. Dangerous and cocksure, yet comforting like nothing else as the muffled words reverberate through the tiny bones of your ear, a prelude to the soothing ba-bump of his heart, rhythm steady and concrete as the ground upon which you stood.

Shaw.

He’s really here.

“Hehe. Your girl?” The derision in Leto’s voice makes you sick to your stomach; you can’t help but hold your breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop as he looks Shaw up and down, zeroing in on his old t-shirt. “Tsk, tsk. So, not only do you enjoy wearing second hand clothing, you also have the habit of picking up sloppy seconds?”

BOOM!

Deafening thunder rolls moments after a bolt of lightning rends the night sky in two, throwing a jagged spotlight on the fury written on Shaw’s face when he moves just as fast to grab a fistful of Leto’s collar. The muscles of his forearm bulge as he holds up the entirety of Leto’s bodyweight in one hand, the sky opening in a sudden downpour as your ex struggles in midair, rain dripping almost comically from dangling feet.

And when Shaw brings Leto’s terrified face up close, the ferocity in those amber eyes sends a chill up your spine.

“This is the last time you’ll ever talk to her, see her, even think about her. Or else I’ll find you and take my sweet time making you wish you were never born, do you understand me?”

Head bobbing in vigorous nods, drops of water fly off the tips of Leto’s rain-slicked hair. Seemingly satisfied, Shaw tosses him onto the ground at your feet, voice low yet audible as it cuts through the din of the storm when he says, “Beg for her forgiveness.”

The fear in his expression almost palpable, Leto looks between you and Shaw — cowardice etched onto features you had once found so pleasing a lifetime ago. He prostrates himself onto the wet pavement, voice cracking in between sobs as he yells over the sound of the rain:

“P-please…please forgive me! I’m a piece of shit! I’m nothing, I’m garbage! I…I deserve to go to Hell for what I did to you! I-I’m so sorry! Please forgive me!”

Leto reaches out a shaky hand towards your soaked shoes before he remembers Shaw’s warning, but it is too late. Black combat boots hit the concrete hard within an inch of Leto’s face as Shaw stoops, yanking back a fistful of hair and pulling until your ex is looking up at you like a pitiful supplicant begging for mercy.

“Satisfied?” Shaw looks to you as if he were asking about something as mundane as the weather. You nod, suddenly too tired to even speak. You wanted to wash your hands of Leto, wanted nothing to do with all that had happened since you finished your shift at the convenience store. All you could do was watch as Leto scrambled away on all fours the moment Shaw loosened his hold, running until he was nothing more than a speck of darkness merging with the night.

The rain is cold, wetness driving against your body to leech even the final bits of warmth from bone. Your clothes are drenched, heavy as they cling uncomfortably to skin. But you are too drained to care, lacking the energy to even notice when the dim light of the streetlamp above is blotted out — Shaw holding his leather jacket over your head in the place of an umbrella.

All you are aware of before your vision goes dark is the anxiety in his voice when he calls your name over and over again, how weightless it felt to be carried in the cradle of his arms.

How much you missed the scent you thought you had learned to forget.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Finally awake, Sleeping Beauty?”

You opened your eyes to gaze into irises of warm amber, the situation similar to one you experienced before except for the fact that this time, you were the one lying in bed, staring at a man who sat on its edge, brows knit with concern beneath soft lavender strands.

“If you slept for any longer, I would’ve had to knock on your neighbour’s door.” Shaw chuckles but the sound is hollow, mirthlessness obvious like the blanched knuckles of his tightly clenched fists.

“What…how did we…” You begin, voice raspy as it dies, a sudden sharp pain in your throat making you wince.

And immediately, Shaw is on his feet, rummaging through cupboards in your kitchen until he finds a glass. You watch him run the tap, fill it to the brim. Feel the strength of his arm around your back as he holds you up, touch lingering even as you down the water in gulps to chase the discomfort away.

“You passed out not long after your douchebag of an ex ran off with his tail between his legs. I found your keys in your purse, so I let myself into your apartment — hope you don’t mind. Although, to be fair, I was also carrying you at the time, so it’s not really breaking and entering.”

Head feeling like it would explode as the events of the evening come rushing back, you turn towards him…slowly…slowly, afraid Shaw might disappear before your eyes should any movement prove too sudden.

Thank him. Now. Before he goes away again.

He is close, so close that you can count those long, beautiful lashes; almost feel the minuscule shifts in the air between you every time he blinks — those pupils encroaching onto gold as they expand and pulling you into their depths as they do.

“Why are you doing this?”

He doesn’t flinch at your question, and you can’t bring yourself to be shocked by the discrepancy between what you meant to say and the words actually spilling from your lips. And as the grey memory of days spent counting the hours of his absence settles like lead in the pit of your stomach, the only thing you knew was that your heart couldn’t survive latching onto this sliver of hope only to have it ripped away again.

All you wanted…was the truth.

“Because I can’t stand to see you sad anymore.”

There is no smirk to stretch across that handsome face, only pain that hurts your heart to see it. Resignation heavy in his voice, Shaw takes a deep breath before he continues.

“Turns out I’m weak when it comes to you. Selfish. I know I’m no good for you; there’s no future with me. I can’t give you anything, can’t even promise you tomorrow, but…I just can’t stop thinking about you. Wondering how you are. Whether you’re eating well, sleeping well. If you’re safe…happy.

“Tonight wasn’t supposed to happen. I just wanted to make sure you got home okay, that some asshole wasn’t going to hassle you at work. But then your ex showed up and when he tried to get fresh with you, well…I couldn’t let that slide.

“Listen, I don’t know what’s wrong with me but…I’m sorry, if I ever made you sad, if I scared you. I’m sorry for everything.”

His gaze drops to the rip in his jeans, the drip, drip of the leaky faucet the only sound in the ensuing silence of his confession. That is, until you say,

“I’m sorry too…that you’re such an idiot.”

His head whips up, brows furrowed and mouth slack as if caught in a rare moment of speechlessness. The shock makes him seem years younger, lending him an air of innocence that you couldn’t help but smile at.

“In case it wasn’t obvious, I’m a grown woman, capable of making my own decisions. I’m not so naïve that I don’t know what I would be getting into by being with you. You say you can’t promise me tomorrow, but tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone. All we can ask for — hope for — is the here and now.

“Love takes courage, as does life. But a life without love…it’s not much of a life, is it? So I’m willing to be brave if that’s what it’ll take for us to be together.”

As quickly as they came, the words are gone, leaving you cotton-mouthed and faint as your heart pounds to send the blood rushing to your ears. That could’ve been the only explanation as to why Shaw’s “I knew there was a reason why I loved you” sounded so muffled you had to ask him to repeat himself.

“Too bad, I only say things once.”

And there it is again: the spark in his eyes, smirk on those lips — igniting the fire you only allowed yourself to feel in dreams of his body on yours, skin to skin like kindling to flame.

“Are you that single-minded about everything?” You ask, the smile on your face mirroring his as it approaches closer…

“Only when it comes to not letting go of the one I care about.”

…closer…

“Tell me one thing.” Your voice is barely above a whisper.

…and closer still.

Lips now a hair’s breadth apart, the gentle rhythm of his exhalation blows soft upon your cupid’s bow; a shy request. Your vision is filled with him, wonderfully awash with colour — lavender, amber, the soft pink of his mouth — and you wished you were the very clothes upon his body; saturated in his intensity, dyed in his hues.

His eyes fixate on your tongue when you wet your lips before asking, “That night, when you were hurt so badly you passed out in my store…why did you still insist on coming in?”

Shaw’s breath catches, hitching in his throat. You know because you can feel it, the way the warmth stops short on your skin. And when he speaks, the eyes that hold yours tell you this is no lie.

“Because if it was going to be the last night of my life, I didn’t want to go without seeing your face one more time.”

Love is a funny thing. Formless, senseless, yet the strongest thing that could bind two strangers. You hadn’t known Shaw for long, could count the days you spent together on one hand. And still, entirely without reason, he bled into each and every hour, crept into the darkest corners of your mind to fill your weary heart with a desperation that made it very clear that love was far from done with you.

That right or wrong, the only place you wanted to be was here — held in the arms that wrapped around your body: hot, tight, safe…

…Shaw.

His lips are softer than you ever imagined when he brings his face to yours, plush silk gliding corner to corner to cover your mouth in reverent kisses — one for each night he came into your store, watched over you from afar.

Your stalwart protector.

You tasted it now, the remnants of cinnamon on his tongue from the gum he was so fond of chewing, intensified by the memory of all the times you wondered about its flavour: pink bubbles popping in his mouth as he coolly dealt with the robber, the night you emptied his pockets as your neighbour stitched him up on your bed.

Shaw tasted sweet. Far sweeter than you ever imagined.

And when his tongue slides against yours — slow and sure as it explores your mouth with increasing fervour before drawing back just as you clenched around emptiness, yearning for more, the beast within you refuses to abide.

You like the shock that passes over his face when you move, sudden and forceful, to push him onto the mattress beneath you; the artless way Shaw sinks teeth into his bottom lip in response. You like how he watches as you straddle his hips — gaze earnest and body honest, hardening as you grind undulating circles upon his groin.

But, perhaps most of all, you liked the spark of something wild in those amber eyes, an unpredictability warning that if you weren’t careful, you’d be the one to find yourself pinned to the bed.

Because wasn’t that ultimately the push-and-pull that characterized so much between you and him? Maddening at times, but always, always binding you to Shaw like some red string of fate.

So you nod when he whispers “May I?”, unable to suppress a moan to finally feel his hands on you: tracing along your jaw, cradling your face…resting the pad of his finger on your lip before pushing past to stroke your tongue.

Every sound he makes pleases; the soft hiss preceding the bob of his Adam’s apple to feel your lips pucker around his finger to suck, pink tongue enticing as it swirls along the length of that digit, drawing it deeper into the hot wetness of your mouth.

You never saw yourself as seductive before, but Shaw made you feel sexy. Perhaps the impulse stemmed from some primitive desire, an instinctive call to please the man you felt so profoundly for that shame was the farthest thing from your mind when you pulled his hand from your lips to guide it to your breast, only partially aware of how wet you were becoming from his gaze alone — half-lidded and heavy with lust.

The heat of his touch permeates your blouse, white and transparent still in patches from the rain. You watch his hands as they play: cupping your breasts in a gentle squeeze, thumbs and forefingers catching your nipples to pinch and roll until they stood stiff against the drape of your clothing, the flush of your flesh bold through fabric.

“You’re so beautiful that there are times I think you can’t possibly be real.”

His voice is low, husky. You let it wash over you, almost frightened by how stupidly happy you become, willing the magic to linger even as his words dissipate amongst the sounds of the night: neon buzzing and the faraway screams of sirens in the distance.

A world apart.

Your hands find the broad expanse of his chest, tracing along muscle before circling the nipples that stood erect against his damp t-shirt. Each twitch is endearing, every erratic breath he draws to feel your touch making you fall harder. And when he tries to focus on unbuttoning your blouse while fighting the impulse to tear it clean off your body, the stirring between your legs grows in intensity until he finally pulls the silken panels aside, a quiet gasp escaping his lips to see his necklace nestled between your breasts.

“It really does belong on you.”

The admiration in his tone is laced with a hint of possessiveness that makes you throb. Shaw pushes himself to sitting, gathering you onto his lap in one smooth motion as he buries his face in your chest, inhaling deep. You gasp to feel gentle teeth sink into the flesh of your breasts, Shaw following the chain of precious metal with his lips until it leads to the pendant. And when his tongue slips out to draw the piece of jade into his mouth, he brings your nipple along with it.

“Oh!…”

The sensation is unlike any you’ve known before, the soft wetness of his pliant tongue a searing contrast with the cool, smooth stone rubbing against the sensitive tip of your breast in equal measure. You feel his smile on your skin when you fist your hands into lavender hair, spine curving as your legs begin to tremble.

And he had yet to touch you below the waist.

“Your body responds so well to me. I knew you were a good girl.” He looks up at you, teasing shamelessly even as he continues to lavish attention on your breasts.

“Just your girl, if you’ll have me,” you say without second thought, long past the point of caring to keep your cards close to your chest.

Something breaks in that expression, the final walls crumbling like dust when Shaw blinks once…twice, revealing eyes that shine with emotion when he replies, “For the rest of my life, if you’ll have me.”

* * *

“Hmm!—”

Your moan is muffled, swallowed by Shaw’s greedy lips like he does with every sound of ecstasy that leaks like you do around his cock, buried impossibly deep in your body as it rocks back and forth, back and forth on his muscular thighs…

…doing your best to adjust to his ample size.

He had barely suppressed a chuckle when you first slipped your hand into his jeans, a subtle mix of pride and amusement on his face to see your eyes widen when you couldn’t quite wrap palm and fingers around the entirety of his girth.

And foreplay had only just begun.

“Still doing okay?” Shaw asks, touch tender as he brushes loose strands of hair from your eyes, lips smoothing along the apple of your cheek to feel its pink heat. “We can go as slow as you want, there’s no rush. If it’s too much, we can stop—”

“No! No…I’m okay. More than okay, I’m great. Please…please don’t stop…don’t stop…”

Struggling to string words together, your breath comes in disjointed pants as Shaw begin to thrust up — the look on his face effortlessly sensual when he bites his lip to feel you spasm around him, tight wetness yielding in increments to accommodate his body as it broke new ground.

For you had never taken a man of that size, the litheness of Shaw’s muscular body belying the impressive package he’d been hiding in those jeans. Your jaw ached just to look upon the length of that thick cock, mouth watering as a fresh wave of arousal made you press your thighs tighter together. The movement didn’t go unnoticed. Shaw had drawn you to him then — deft fingers dipping low to trace the outline of your swollen folds through moist panties, lavender head bending to kiss its lacy trim.

He took his time preparing you, licking his fingers before he eased them into your pussy — first one, then two…curling deep until the slippery sounds of arousal told him the time was ripe to introduce the third, leaving you blooming for him even as he whispered, “Think you’re ready for me to make you my girl for real?”

It borders on overwhelming, this sensation of fullness — between your legs, within your heart. And as skin stretched to capacity to accommodate the sweet friction of his slide, you wished there was a way for the euphoria of this connection to last forever:

To the one you could never forget, no matter how hard you tried.

To this man you loved like no other.

“Shaw.”

His name is faint on your breath when he falls back onto the bed, taking you with him. And as you found yourself straddling his hips once more, the altered angles of your bodies gave him the leverage to make you gasp when he begins to thrust in earnest. The eroticism of his face, lost in lust, drives all thoughts from your mind as you drop a hand to your clit, fingers drawing tight circles before his hungry eyes.

The violence of your climax takes you by surprise, having no time to consider neighbours and thin walls as the lewdest sounds escape your lips at high volume. Intense convulsions wracking your body in waves, you clench in time around your lover. The sensation proves too much to bear, drawing out Shaw’s own release as he pulls out to spill onto the folds of your pussy — swollen and pink and trembling still beneath the coat of his pearlescent seed.

* * *

“I love you.”

Morning light trickles across your walls like the slow crawl of spidery legs. Shaw’s words hang in the air between you, a final, sacred moment shared between lovers before the rest of the world wakes.

You loved the hoarseness in his voice; a testament to the hours of noisy lovemaking you had shared in lieu of sleep.

You loved the weight of his hand, stroking softly at the crown of your head.

You loved the rhythm of his heart, echoing just below your ear to confirm his existence.

“I love you too.”

You look up into those amber eyes, trying to discern whether those four little words were sufficient in conveying that fact that you adored every fibre of the man before you.

The smile that graces his face in return is tender, honest…more brilliant than the day breaking in the East.

Your hands find his body, bare beneath the sheets. And as a curious finger traces along the ridge of the scar that runs in a broad stroke across his sculpted abdomen, your gaze falls on his t-shirt, draped over the back of a chair.

“You should probably throw that Snoopy shirt away, especially after what happened last night.”

Shaw follows your line of sight, chest rising and falling in a deep sigh. “Shitty as its previous owner was, I could never bring myself to hate something that reminds me of you. Aside from saving my ass, this was the first gift you ever gave me. And I never throw away gifts from my girl.”

His girl.

The mystery of life is that filled with unknowns though it is, we continue to live, brave in the face of the uncertainty that comes with every passing day. You had no idea what fate had in store for you or Shaw, had no way of knowing if your relationship existed on borrowed time.

The only thing you were certain of was that your feelings for each other were real, that try as you might, neither of you were very good at forgetting the other. That in this moment, here and now, the only thing that mattered was this love that hit you…

…like a bolt from the blue.

Thanks so much for reading! I hope you all enjoyed this Shaw saga! 💖

Check out more of my work here! 📚 (Please do not repost/copy/alter my work. Reblogs, on the other hand, are perfectly fine and much appreciated! 💖👍🏼)

Jump to Chapter(s): One | Two | Three

#mlqc #mr love queen's choice #love and producer #mr love dream date #evol x love #mlqc shaw #mlqc ling xiao #mlqc smut #mlqc shaw smut #mlqc fanfic #mlqc fic #fanfiction #my writing #elex

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amethyst-crystalfly · 4 years ago

Text

The stars in your eyes

Pairing| Akaashi Keiji x f! reader

Themes| fluff, tooth rotting fluff, mutual pining, just lots of fluff okay?

Warning| nope none except for Akaashi being adorable

Authour’s note| Hi guys I absolutely enjoyed myself writing this pic as Akaashi Keiji occupies my whole heart. I just really think that Akaashi is the kind of guy who would take you on a classy candle lit dinner as a first date considering the kind of personality he radiates. He would absolutely plan for it days in advance and make sure everything is perfect. He is also the guy your mom would approve of and is basically the ideal guy who also secretly happens to be a hopeless romantic at heart. So here I offer you exactly that through this fic. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it! Thank you for reading! I love youu!

w/c| 2293

The night was clear and the soft late winter wind gently flowed in through your open windows. You had been anticipating for this day. You smiled at your reflection as you finished brushing your hair, satisfied with your outfit, you thought back to the day, just a week ago, when your long-time crush Akaashi finally asked you out on a date. "Wow this was really happening" you longingly wondered. “Y/n! Akaashi is here to pick you, honey” you heard your mom call. You took a deep breath, checked your reflection for one last time, grabbed your purse and phone and rushed out to meet him. As you stepped in the hallway, you saw your mom talking with him. He had a soft smile on his face as he was telling your mom about college. As he sensed you approaching, he looked up and as your eyes met, he seemed to freeze. You held your breath as he stood up, you offered him a warm smile and at that a blush tinted the tip of his ears and his cheeks. Your mom smiled at the two of you and wished you two a fun date as she decided to head to the other room, giving the two of you some privacy.

You greeted him with a soft yet enthusiastic “hi!”

“Hello, you- “he inhaled as his eyes swept over you once again “you look beautiful y/n”

“You are one to talk Akaashi” you chuckled softly

That earned you a laugh from him, “I am humbled” he said making a casually bowing gesture. “shall we?” he offered his arm with a warm smile.

You happily nodded and looped your arm through his as you both walked out of the door together. You were dressed in a wine-red gown with a thigh high slit on one side and paired it with black heels. You accessorized this outfit with a pair of simple crystal studded ear rings and a matching crystal pendant. Your open hair complemented your outfit perfectly. Beside you, Akaashi was dressed in a white shirt with the top two buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up till his fore arms, giving you a peek at those sculpted arms. His pair of black casual trousers and his silver analog watch tied off his look perfectly. It was so simple yet elegant and classy. His style spoke of his personality perfectly. You both got in the car and headed towards the restaurant Akaashi had already planned on in advance, but of course he had finalized it only after discussing with you, he needed to make sure if you would like it too. However, if you were being honest, you would happily go anywhere this man goes, it didn’t matter where. But for obvious reasons you haven’t told him that, yet. The drive to the restaurant was about 30 mins and you both fully enjoyed those 30 minutes blissfully enjoying each other’s company and taking turns playing your favorite songs for the other. As you got off the car, you looked around admiringly to the tasteful decoration. Akaashi offered you his arm once again and you both made your way towards the reception. He had reserved a seat for the two of you in advance, the waiter led the way to your seats. It was situated beside the window? Wall? You couldn’t decide what to call it since the entire wall was made of glass. It was exquisite! it offered a wonderful view of the city considering that this hotel was situated atop a hill. The place was lit with warm yellow lights and candles, creating a perfect balance of shadows and soft lights. The tables were arranged spaciously providing each group/couple with privacy. The entire place smelled faintly of French vanilla thanks to the scented candles. The entire place appealed to you aesthetically, you really liked it. Akaashi pulled out your chair for you and helped you in. You found that small gesture extremely touching, “damn chivalry ain’t ded” you thought to yourself and suppressed a giggle at your own lame inside joke.

“You are really sweet Akaashi” you told him letting that giggle out

A waitress brought your orders to the table along with a bottle of red wine. She filled both your glasses with the crimson liquid. You both thanked her politely and she smiled and left. The delicious smell of the platter wafted to your nose and it made you realize just how eager you were to dig in but you hesitated, you did not want to do anything awkward it was your first date with Akaashi after all.

It made him blush. It wasn’t just your words that got to him but he was spell bounded by the way the candle light looked on you. The light bounced off your crystal ear rings occasionally when you moved your head. In his eyes you were the most beautiful woman out there. The way a slight blush tinted your features warmed his heart and made a soft smile bloom on his lips. As you looked at him, you were mesmerized by the way the candle light shimmered in his eyes, he looked as if he was sculpted out of alabaster by the renowned ancient Greek artists themselves. He looked so gorgeous that it made you want to be all cheesy, if he kept acting so cute heck you might end up throwing some cheesy ass pick up lines at him.

“Are you shy, Y/n?” Akaashi softly chucked teasing you

“huh-what? No! absolutely not, why would I be shy” you quickly spoke, an embarrassed blush spreading across your face.

He laughed some more, taking a small bite from his plate he casually teased, “Then why aren’t you eating, you must be shy”

You puffed your cheeks, “I am not shy” and you finally picked up a piece of the delicious food with your fork and nibbled on it.

Akaashi let out another soft laugh at your cute expression. He couldn’t resist himself as he extended his left arm adoringly and gently pulled your cheek “You are so adorable, y/n”

“Hmph but I am not shy” you grumbled out, even though your heart was practically doing cartwheels at his words of adoration.

He laughed again pulling away and getting back to his own food. You had never seen Akaashi laughing so much and be so much at ease. He was usually more composed and careful with his words this was a peek at another side of Akaashi. You could just watch him laugh and joke like this all day and be satisfied. You both took little sips of the red wine as you continued eating and talking about various topics. Conversation with Akaashi was easy and fluid, none of you had to put any effort in it, it flowed swiftly from one topic to another. All your reservations were just falling apart watching him be himself with you so easily. It made your heart soar. You both had had two servings of wine each, by the time you finished your dinner. It gave you a slightly heady feeling. As you waited for the bill you both looked out at the massive glass windows. The glistening city lights looked like little fairy orbs scattered all over the city. It was surprising that you hadn’t noticed it earlier in the evening. Maybe you were far too absorbed in Akaashi to notice.

“The city looks beautiful at night doesn’t it?” Akaashi said noticing your awed expression

“Yes, it does, it is as if someone dropped the stars from the heaven” you giggled

He looked at you with slightly dazed eyes and a soft smile illuminating his handsome face, “then you will definitely like the next place I will take you to”

“next place?” you asked turning your face towards him

“Yes, you thought I am gonna let you go so easily? He laughed

“I like the idea of that” you said

“of what?” he enquired

You said it out almost instinctively, “of you not letting me go easily” your face heated as you realized what you just said. And you cleared your throat, “we…umm-we should go”

He looked at you sidelong with an amused smile as you both stood up and prepared to leave. You dared not meet his gaze. You cursed yourself internally, “damnit y/n what are you doing? Now he is gonna think I am a complete weirdo”

As you both existed the lavish hotel the late winter breeze greeted you. The temperature had dropped comparatively. Akaashi moved closer to you and placed a hand around your waist. You did not know this but a smile still lingered on his face from your words. It had made his heart skip and he wanted to kiss you right there and tell you that he did not plan on letting go of you at all. But he resisted himself from doing that since you were in public. As you both reached the car, he opened the door and pulled out his coat from the backseat of the car and swiftly draped it around you.

“I thought we might need this” he smiled “come let me show you to the place I promised” he led you by your hand.

Your heart was basically hammering in your chest when he draped the coat around you from how close he was. Desire burned through you to just reach up and kiss him. But you shut it out focusing instead on Akaashi’s words. He was telling you how he had come here a few days back to make reservation in person and that’s when he spotted this place. He led you through a path behind the hotel. It was a winding path and was lit with beautiful tall lamp posts, illuminating the road in it’s golden light. It was a ten-minute walk and you found yourself standing at the top of the little hill. The edges were guarded off with railings and. There were trees skirting the edge of the hill and they continued down the hill in rows. As you approached the railings you were spell bounded by the view it offered. The top of the hill was dimly lit compared to the path which led you here. And that was to ensure a clear view of the night sky. The stars twinkled above you just like the city lights glowed beneath. It was absolutely beautiful. The air was filled with the scent of the trees around, a dewy forest like smell. Little fireflies twinkled in the distance among the trees. It was captivating you turned to look at Akaashi and realized he was already staring at you. A soft smile tugged at the corners of his mouth he looked away smiling at being caught. That made your smile spread wider.

You shuffled closer to his side and said “This place is beautiful Akaashi! Thank you for bringing me here”

He looked down at you and said with a smile, “Thank you for agreeing to come with me y/n, I haven’t felt so happy and at ease in a long time”

The closeness with Akaashi already made it so hard to resist yourself and he was just making this harder by being so sweet. You were feeling bold suddenly, was it the wine? Or was it just Akaashi working his charm without even being aware? Either ways you turned to face him fully and looped your arms around his neck and pulled your body closer, the coat falling off your shoulders, but you didn’t care, not right now as you gazed into Akaashi’s surprised eyes. His lips were parted in surprise at your sudden change in behavior, his hands were on your waist. And he looked absolutely irresistible. His desire was evident in his eyes. You reached up slowly and your lips were dangerously close, almost brushing. You could smell his citrus cologne up so close and you wanted nothing more than to be lost in it. His breathing was as heavy as yours as his arms tightened around your waist and you trailed your one hand down his shoulder and up his neck to cup the side of his face. He could not resist himself anymore as he closed the distance between your lips and kissed you. It was a light kiss at first,soft, sweet and careful. You both momentarily pulled away to look into each other’s eyes

“kiss me again Akaashi” you said through your ragged breathing. Looking straight into his eyes.

He did not falter a moment before kissing you passionately, His hands on your back pulling you closer towards him almost lifting you off your feet as if he couldn’t get enough of you. And to be honest he couldn’t, and neither could you. Your one hand stayed around his neck, massaging the nape of his neck and your other hand was tangled in his soft hair. You moaned into the kiss as his one hand snaked up your back to your neck. And that made him groan at how much he loved that soft sound that left you. When you two finally pulled apart both of you were gasping for air and your faces were red. As your eyes met you both let out a laugh at disbelief of what just happened. And you wrapped your arms around his waist and rested your head against his chest listening to the sound of his galloping heart. It was beating as fast as yours. He rested his chin on top your head and left out a content sigh.

“hey y/n”

“umhmm?” you asked, happily watching the city lights twinkle below

“I really don’t plan on letting you go”

“Neither do I, Akaashi” you said snuggling closer to him.

#author's note #akaashi keji x reader #haikyuu akaashi #akaashi icons #akaashi scenarios #akaashi fluff #haikyuu!!#haikyū!!#haikyu x reader #hq fluff #tooth rotting fluff #haikyuu fanfiction #akaashi smut

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nilim · 4 years ago

Note

For the AI Dungen recipes, just based on what I made yesterday: 200 gr chicken 3 Bell peppers 1 ts oregano & basil mix dessert: 1 sheet of puff pastry (bought premade LOL it's way too difficult to make from scratch) 125 grams of rhubarb jelly

Alright, here we go. Going to make two AI generated recipes. We got this.

I fed your ingredients into AI dungeon and it spit out the below recipes. The chicken one was quite a long and surprisingly coherent recipe.

The first part is my input, anything bold is what the AI generated:

200 gr chicken 3 bell peppers 1 ts oregano & basil mix 2 ts garlic powder 1/4 cup of water salt and pepper to taste

And then we just follow whatever the AI wants us to do in steps until it seems the recipe is done:

Mix all the ingredients in a bowl. Cover with plastic wrap and let it sit for at least an hour or overnight.

(Note: I left the bell peppers out of the ‘mix all the ingredients’ step, because they show up later again in the recipe.)

Well, it did say mix all the ingredients.

Wet chicken. Which we let rest for an hour (or overnight). Alright.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Cut the chicken into small pieces, place them on a baking sheet and bake for 20 minutes. After they are done cooking, take out of the oven and set aside to cool down completely before you start assembling your sandwich

Oh cool, so we are making a sandwich? Good to know.

I was hesitant about baking the wet chicken without any oil, but it was..... ok.

For the lettuce: 1 bunch of romaine lettuce (about 1 lb) 1/2 tsp salt + more to taste Combine all the ingredients in a large mixing bowl and add some salt if needed. Toss everything together until well combined. You can also use a fork to break up any clumps. Serve immediately.

Ah yes, the famous salted lettuce.

“Serve immediately.”

For the garlic aioli: 1/2 cup mayo 115 gr 1/2 tsp garlic powder Combine all the ingredients in a small bowl and mix until well combined. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until you are ready to serve the sandwich. You can make the mayo a couple of days in advance.

You can make it a couple days in advance y’all. You know, if you want to save time.

“Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate“

For the roasted bell peppers: 3 red bell peppers 1 TBSP oil Mix the oil and salt in a medium bowl and add the bell pepper strips. Toss everything together until well combined.

This is why I didn’t add the peppers to the chicken.

Since it mentioned ‘pepper strips’, I cut them up before mixing them with the oil.

Transfer to a baking sheet and cover with aluminum foil. Roast in the oven at 475 degrees F for about 30 minutes, until the bell peppers are charred all around the edges. Let the bell peppers cool down to room temperature. You can roast the bell peppers a day in advance. Store them in an airtight container in the refrigerator.

I roasted them for 10 mins like this and then realized the foil was sealed too tight, and I was basically steaming the peppers in their own moisture and not charring them, so I loosened the edges so the moisture could get out and returned it to the oven for the other 20 mins.

They came out terrifyingly normal. I thought I’d have charred crisps. But they were quite good.

To my surprise, the AI actually finished up by telling me how to assemble the sandwich, and it actually used the correct ingredients.

Assembling the sandwich:

Cut the baguette in half lengthwise. Spread a generous layer of garlic aioli on both sides of the bread. Add the chicken, some roasted bell peppers, lettuce and top with some more aioli. Enjoy!

It was honestly surprisingly good, I kinda enjoyed it even though it was a lot of mayo. It’s just... a very coherent recipe and end product which is very impressive, 9/10, point deducted for the wet chicken.

Now. For the dessert:

1 sheet of Puff pastry 125 grams Rhubarb jelly (I used the regular kind) 2 tablespoons sugar 150 ml (5 fl oz) heavy cream 3 eggs, beaten 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 180 degrees Celsius. Roll out puff pastry. Cut into 4 equal pieces and place on a baking tray lined with parchment paper.

Bake for 10 minutes or until golden brown.

At this point I realized those ‘3 eggs, beaten’ in the ingredients list is never mentioned again anywhere in the recipe, so I decided to use them to make two batches of the puff pastry, one without an egg wash as the recipe indicated (left), and one with (right).

Remove from oven and let cool completely before filling.

So after 10 minutes they were neither golden brown nor done, but I took them out anyway considering I would have to put them back into the oven later on in the recipe.

In a saucepan over medium heat combine rhubarb jelly, sugar and cream. Bring to boil then reduce heat and simmer for 5 minutes or until thickened slightly.

Alright......

Delicious....

Pour into a bowl along with whipped cream and stir well to incorporate. Add vanilla extract and fold through.

Whipped cream??? The recipe list didn’t say anything about whipped cream. Luckily, I had some cream leftover and made it into whipped cream.

I feel like the 'whipped’ part isn’t going to matter after I’m done mixing these two....

Hmmm delicious slurry!

Spread onto cooled puff pastry sheets and bake in preheated oven for 25-30 minutes or until set but still jiggly when poked with a finger.

ಠ_ಠ

Considering that the recipe called the slurry ‘filling’ earlier on, I decided to ‘spread’ the slurry across half the pastries like the recipe instructed, while filling the other half.

And now to bake them for 25-30 minutes. I sat in front of the oven the entire time, afraid they might catch fire. But they didn’t.

After 10 minutes, filling began to escape from the ones in front.

After 20 minutes, things began to look slightly singed.

And done. Not burned! A win.

I took 4 to eat. 2 with and without filling, and with and without egg wash.

The ones without the filling but with the spread tasted purely of pastry. Just. A whole lot of effort for a square of store bought puff pastry.

The ones with filling were just liquid inside with weird clumps. Surprisingly sour. Burned my tongue.

5/10, mostly because I thought it might burn my house down and I was delighted it didn’t! Yay!

#Anonymous #ai dungeon #ai generated recipes #I make good life choices

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rayishido · 4 years ago

Text

I hate what I love part 1: frustration of a wanna be designer

This is the story of a drawing. If you like the final version, it can be purchased on Redbubble.

A little problem

I am not a designer, I am not an artist, I am a scientist. My thing is the exact sciences. Biology, chemistry, geology, ... as long as it stays away from math, I'm happy.

But, since the first episode of Dragon Ball that I saw, I want to draw. I want to transpose these imaginary universes that only exist in my head into the real world. The problem? I have no talent and nature has endowed me with two left hands. Yeah, it's not won.

So, even if all these positive messages that we find on the internet ("don't give up on your dreams", "if you work, you will get there", ...) are controversial because, in a simplistic way they imply that if you fail in a project it is entirely your fault because you did not invest enough yourself, and that we know very well that this is not really how it works, throughout in my life I have seen that with a good dose of effort we could achieve our goals.

And so here I am spending hours on Affinity Designer trying to lay something drinkable, like for example:

Is that cubism?

And yes. It's ugly. It's really very, very, great, ugly. So just to contextualize things (and show how well it messed up, at least initially), the idea behind that filthy yellow patte was to make a hippie / hipster sun that was going to convey joy and serve as an illustration. to a message of optimism. Do I need to say more?

Now comes the frustrating part of the story. We wouldn't say but before accepting ~~ the defeat ~~ that I was not going to get out of it, I spent 1 to 2 hours tweaking the knots to try to get something drinkable. Believe me, when after 2 hours spent in front of the computer trying to make a drawing (which seems) relatively simple you come out with such a shit, the only thing you have in mind is to throw everything by window and never touch a pencil or drawing software again!

But hey, if in my life I had given up on the first or second or third attempts, I wouldn't have gone very far. Anyway, I'm sure I wouldn't be where I am today. For once, change of strategy: I change the arms and I add a little texture and after 30 min more:

Is it cubism ... textured? ...

Yeah, it's not much better. But now there is a texture ... life is made of little joy, eh? ...

At this point I had wasted enough time on this design so I decided to stop and go back to the beginning to review my strategy.

1. What was my original idea? * Make a cheerful design that supports an motivational quote.

2. Why a hippie / hypster style sun? * because I found it cool and I think the audience for this design will like, identify with this style

3. And, what the hell then? Why is it not coming out? * oh, smart guy, you don't have the impression that if I had the answer to this question I would have already laid the drawing ??? ... Yeah, thinking about it a little, it's clearly because that I can not visualize the finished drawing. Even if I like the style, it's not really my trip and all of a sudden I lack reference and I wonder if this is what the public will like or not. Even though I draw for myself, I also draw for those who are going to see the drawing.

4. Ok, but then, we abandon the idea or are there things that you do / visualize more easily that could be framed in 1.? * KAWAII !!!

And that's how an hour later came out the final version (which I like):

That's all folks

So yes, I could have insisted, looked for more reference image, took my little sketchbook and spent a few hours in pencil (it's easier than on iPad for me) to make a drawing that corresponds to the original idea. But, there is a moment when it must be recognized that the time / results ratio is not too great.

If it was for my Magnus Opus, ok, but in the case of a design that is going to be seen by almost no one and probably have less than 10 sales on

Redbubble

...

In conclusion, I like to draw. I like to create things. But at the same time, I hate this learning process, I hate spending hours doing something and eventually don't get what I wanted. I know that someday it will be easier, but in the meantime, it's frustrating.

#affinity designer #designer #frustration #stayfocused #believe in myself #motivating quotes #motivation #kawaii

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

Text

Mattie & Lulu

Mattie: [So my vibe for it, she just shows up without knowing because by this point it’s been like 2 years since attempted contact so you wouldn’t think to check like, where do they go to school, especially if Chloe swore the grandparents to secrecy vis-a-vis the teacher situation because she would, so you probably think they’re still in Switzerland, and then I think we should say that one of them is in her form and one of them has her as a teacher for either Physics or Computers and whoever we pick as the form one could see her first and if that was Dolly she could tell Lulu to try and get in with her]

Lulu: [That honestly feels the most legit to me too, I was gonna say maybe put Lulu in her form so they have to spend more time together lol but your idea makes the most sense in terms of like starting this convo, also love you not being the 1st to know since you spoke for them both in the last convo so]

Mattie: [And if you had her for both subjects, you’d still see her a lot so it’s fine, also lessons are longer than form time but you’re meant to like, talk to your form teacher if you need something so we can say that Dolly is without having to do it obvs, so then my vibe for today is she obviously took Dolly to one side and was like I don’t know how this happened but I’ll follow your lead like if you want to swap forms you can but also you can stay and we don’t have to make a big deal of it. Mattie would have to let the School know like they’re my half-sisters btw, didn’t know they were here, but we had kids who were taught by their literal mums so it’s not like she has to leave or they have to move classes, just as long as you aren’t hiding it ‘cos that’d be weird on her part, so maybe we can say Lulu didn’t have either lesson today so we can do this like Dolly has just told her but Mattie hasn’t had enough time or reason to come find her in person?]

Lulu: [That’s so clever boo, such an excellent way to get around having to RP with yourself and yeah she could totally be taught by her for both lessons so that is probably more time actually like you said]

Mattie: [Okay so our vibe for form is it’s about 30 mins at the start of the day, after breakfast for boarders and before lessons, and there are 4 girls from each year in the form (year 7-13) so the energy is very look after the little ones and go to the older kids for advice and help, as well as your form teacher being your go-to teacher for things you need that aren’t related to your subjects, you probably also have a matron-esque person for things related to boarding; Definitely doing houses also and you get points for good behaviour, academic achievement and clubs and sporting, can also be taken away for poor behaviour and performance, Dolly and Lulu are in the same house just not form. HOUSE TEA, after research it seems like forms and houses are separated by boarding and day students as well as sex, so only boarding girls in your form/house, you literally live with your house if you board, it’s about 60 girls, and there is the housemistress (and her whole fam and dog lmao) a matron, the tutors of the forms in said house and then head girl as well as 6th form girls being prefects, absolutely can think of what the housemistress, matron, head girl and other tutors who live in are like; MORE TEA, school starts 8:25, chapel, assembly or form time, four lessons before lunch, after lunch from about 4:00, 2 clubs a day, sports, drama, art etc until 6:00, final reg ‘til 6:15, then there’s the ‘cultural hour’ til 7:15, prep aka homework for AT LEAST an hour after dinner assumedly, Saturday is chapel, three lessons, lunch, then sports all afternoon depending how much sports you do, there are like 150 clubs so get at it]

Lulu: [NGL love this, I’d be fuming if my mum worked there and I had to live there too but like such a fun vibe for us and it makes sense that you’re gonna end up getting close to Mattie like it or not]

Lulu: [okay so Lulu studies Physics and Computer Science with Mattie and then Mathematics makes sense to go with that]

Mattie: [Dolly Drama & Theatre Studies, German & Religious Studies]

Lulu: [Okay so Lulu’s clubs cos you have to do a sport I’m gonna pick Tennis as a throwback to your old school, Drama as I’ve mentioned in this convo, Model UN likewise as a throwback, Chess cos we love it and that Curie Society thing where they just chat about scientific discoveries and D of E]

Mattie: [Dolly’s clubs are Drama, Archery, Running Club, Chapel Choir, Cross Country & Swimming, will do Creative & Literary Society when we are in a better place but not like right away]

Mattie: [I think we can start this convo now we have an idea]

Lulu: Dolly told me you’re her form tutor… that’s unexpected

Lulu: how long is your placement here?

Mattie: Yes, very

Mattie: I had zero idea you two weren’t still in Switzerland

Mattie: Believe me when I say if I planned to initiate contact between us again, I would have gone for a more direct, far less convoluted route to do so

Mattie: The placement is 8 weeks, I’ve had to let the head know and I was going to come find you to see how you wanted to proceed

Mattie: Dolly was happy enough to stay in my form and not make a big deal about it, her words, obviously this is a shock for us all and I’m not going to minimize that for my own gain

Mattie: But I am taking you for Physics and Computer Studies, so you would actually be seeing more of me than Dolly, so that’s… a thing

Mattie: There is another Computer Science class in your year but Physics is already a small class with just me… I could see if there’s a possibility for a Physics teacher from one of the other years to swap with me, if that’s what you would like

Lulu: Of course you wouldn’t be aware of our move, and of course Dolly doesn’t want to make a big deal of you being here now that we are, similarly I’m not going to make a fuss about you teaching me, that’s all you’re supposed to do, professionalism is also a… thing and 8 weeks is bound to absolutely fly by

Mattie: If you’re sure, Lulu, then that’s absolutely how I am happy to proceed too

Mattie: It really isn’t long, in the grand scheme of things

Mattie: You aren’t obligated to share any more than you would with any other teacher, but I have to ask why the move?

Mattie: You seemed to really love that place

Mattie: Even though it seems very impressive here too

Mattie: I just hope you’re okay, is really all I’m trying to say with that question

Lulu: There’s no big secret, it was just time for a change, which is how you jolly well may feel after you’ve spent 2 months here 😅

Mattie: Oh no, you aren’t enjoying it here? Or just a bit of a culture shock

Mattie: It was for me too, my last placement was an inner-city comp

Mattie: but it’s different being this side of the student-teacher divide regardless, that’s for sure

Lulu: I’m not a student you have to try to find common ground with, you aren’t my form tutor

Mattie: How are you getting on with yours? She’s the Drama teacher, right, funny how that worked out

Lulu: Marvellously, it’s been one of my extracurriculars since year 7

Mattie: That’s great, and you get to spend time with your sister, now you don’t have your lessons together

Lulu: Yeah, Religious Studies isn’t my thing

Mattie: I can’t say it’s mine either 😅

Mattie: Also the man who teaches that scares me a bit but 🤫 I’m sure he looks more off-putting than he actually is

Lulu: It’s his 🐛 brows but your first impression and instincts are spot on too, he’s v intense

Mattie: I’ll break the ice by asking him to come get them threaded, that’s a great idea

Lulu: I’m extremely clever and that was a elaborate ploy to prove every idea I have is A* to you as my new teacher and earn house points as I’m so devoted

Mattie: I sadly think I know how the head would feel about merit points for beauty reccs but admire the dedication, that’s definitely a core value they want to promote here so

Mattie: Not not worth some ++

Lulu: It’d be beastly not to pass the vibe check after all this time, the most relief ever that I’ve worked out this place’s core values

Mattie: I think I still have the introductory pamphlet, should you ever need a refresher

Mattie: Core values, Latin Motto, the lot…

Lulu: [Whatever the school Latin motto is cos I tried to make a sassy one up but was cockblocked] I’m fine, but thanks

Mattie: Impressive

Mattie: Okay, I will see you in class tomorrow

Mattie: Potentially around the house before then but I’ll do my best to give you both space

Lulu: It’s called making an effort, which you’ll see me do in class too

Lulu: okay but don’t give us a lot of space or everyone’ll think we’re in some huge bind over you and like Dolly and I have both said, it’s not that big of a deal

Mattie: Pleased to hear it

Mattie: Understood

Mattie: I more meant it as a warning that I too room there so you might see me around, but I won’t make a point of showing up in your dorm

Lulu: I don’t honestly know what makes you think I would need a warning but thanks again anyway

Mattie: I’m not trying to make your transition here any harder than it needs to be

Lulu: You’d have to be a horrific teacher to make that sizeable of an impact, we’re both settled, the newbie here is you

Mattie: Well that remains to be seen

Mattie: QTS will either be achieved by the end of this or not

Mattie: It’s a lot bigger than your last, your house has as many pupils as the entirety of Surval did, that’s a big change

Lulu: So was co-ed and day students, note my past tense though

Mattie: Right, and your subjects at A-Level are, sadly, pretty boy heavy

Mattie: You’ve got it all worked out though, I’ll be sure to ask for help if I get stuck

Lulu: Not something I expected to have to deal with, pre-fresh start, but I don’t have to teach them, only get on with my own work

Lulu: yeah, I could give an A* tour

Mattie: I’d call you lucky if I didn’t know personally that the workload is going to be intense

Mattie: but I’ve seen your grades so I’m not worried for you, you’ve got this

Mattie: I might take you up on that offer, though if you can secure one of the cute dogs I see running about, that turns might into a definite

Lulu: 😊

Lulu: Oh, this is the moment to let you know Skipper loves me

Mattie: I think Skipper nearly ran me down this morning

Mattie: assuming he’s the GIANT one that rarely listens to his owner 🤭

Lulu: He is 🥰💖 but he doesn’t realise 😆

Mattie: The best kind of dog 😌 It’s so cute

Lulu: My biggest soft spot is for little dogs who think they’re VIP as in v important humans, but we have one of those at home, for the best of both worlds

Mattie: Okay, yes, that’s a mood too

Mattie: What’s his name?

Mattie: Being currently without any pet I need all the surrogates, obviously

Lulu: Monty

Lulu: [show her a picture of him obvs]

Mattie: Oh, he’s a doll 😍

Mattie: a definite plus for being in England is you can go visit him more often

Lulu: Not really, I’m still boarding

Mattie: The 6-day schedule is intense

Mattie: I can see the benefits though, as long as the child is here because they want to learn, and not because their parent paid for an extra intensive education just because it’s the ‘best’

Lulu: Both can be true and mostly seem like they are here

Mattie: By your age, if it wasn’t suiting, you wouldn’t have made it, I don’t think

Mattie: At least you have Sundays

Lulu: You’ve seen my grades, who could fake making it that hard?

Mattie: I wasn’t accusing you of not being capable, not at all, sorry that wasn’t clear, just musing aloud that the people who aren’t suited to this model won’t make it past IGCSEs to A-levels

Mattie: but that kind of thing would fall under unprofessional, I imagine so let’s pretend I didn’t say anything

Lulu: It’d only be unprofessional if you shared who you think shouldn’t be here, which I’ll totally pretend you didn’t say after 🤭

Mattie: 😅😶 I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that and slip the list under your door when I’ve made it

Lulu: 🤫 to not turn you against an absolutely ridiculously high percentage of both your classes before you’ve taught them

Mattie: Definitely not the aim of my placement 😰

Mattie: Although someone has to be the teacher nobody likes, right?

Lulu: You could try that approach, but unless this tête-à-tête happening is what’s faked, I can’t see you making it work for 8 weeks

Mattie: Thanks, that’s almost encouraging 😌😜

Mattie: Over the initial shock, it’s good to see you both doing well here

Mattie: And if you do happen to need anything, you can let me know

Lulu: You’re almost my teacher, calling you a bitch wouldn’t get us off on the right foot

Mattie: I don’t think I can downgrade you for that, but no, I see that

Mattie: Professionalism works both ways, as it were

Lulu: And I could need an extension at any time, my lab partner is a perfect dunce who should be on your reject list 😓 I’d be pretty gassed if you would actually re-assign us, do you have that much power? 🤔

Mattie: It’s a possibility

Mattie: I like to switch it up anyway, you’re such a small group, it stops it getting clique-y, so you can all work together and swap around whilst I’m your teacher

Mattie: When you get a permanent teacher after I leave, they might see it differently but they’ve all been enthusiastic about my ideas thus far, though I just got here

Lulu: After you leave is after you leave, I feel seedy now and look like 💀 if you want to do anything about it

Mattie: What’s the problem with him, beside the dunce thing we’ve already covered?

Lulu: Isn’t that enough bad luck? I’m doing everything by myself while he’s high fiving his friends for getting partnered with me, like some incel

Mattie: Right

Mattie: Let me see it for myself and then perhaps I can do something about it, if it is that blatant

Mattie: You don’t need the teacher’s pet rep any more than I need accusations of baseless favouritism just because we’re related

Mattie: I believe you, but I’ll deal with it in class and in my capacity as your teacher and his, not like this, yeah

Lulu: I’m letting you know what I need, which is what you just told me to do

Mattie: Okay, I’ve heard you, I just want to make sure you understand that if you come to me with things related to class, then they’ll be dealt with in the proper channels

Lulu: 😬 sorry if you got the impression I’d come to you with anything unrelated to class, we’re not there

Mattie: You didn’t, I simply offered

Lulu: Grandma will be buzzing

Mattie: I’m not doing it to score points, or make a statement

Mattie: and undoubtedly you won’t come to me but I’m going to offer in case you need to, and because that’s what feels right to me to do, that’s it

Mattie: No hidden agenda

Lulu: Offer it to Dolly, that’s your job

Mattie: I have, Lulu

Mattie: Don’t worry

Lulu: Meaning?

Lulu: my sister is fine, I don’t have to worry about her

Mattie: Meaning just that

Mattie: I have a pastoral role as well as an educational

Mattie: If any pupil in my form needs help, they’ll receive it

Lulu: She doesn’t

Mattie: Glad to hear it

Lulu: You’ll have an easy time of it from both of us

Mattie: As long as you’re having a good time of it too, that works perfectly for me

Lulu: Il n’y a pas le feu au lac, as my previous mistresses were devoted to saying

Mattie: My French is limited to being able to order dinner with minimal side-eye from the waiters

Mattie: but I’ll take your very pretty words for it

Lulu: Whoops, I shouldn't have assumed, what language did you do?

Mattie: Mandarin, which was a huge plus on my application, with the college in Malaysia and the Mandarin course they do here

Lulu: Wow, how difficult is it? I’d love to have learned

Mattie: It is challenging, but a fun one I’d say

Mattie: It’s a shame they only have the one teacher, so they can’t make it a club too, they’d be run ragged

Mattie: I could teach you the 101 basics, I’m confident enough to do that much

Lulu: You didn’t want to be accused of favouritism and I don’t want to make an ass of myself

Lulu: I’ll have to move there and hope it’s not yonks before the immersion and fluency, I’ve only ever learnt a language that way, I don’t know if even the basics are doable otherwise 😟

Mattie: Well that’s certainly the best way to learn but not the only

Mattie: I wish I was here longer so I could commit to starting a club for the pupils like you who are interested but it wasn’t viable to pick as an A-Level

Lulu: I’ll download an app or something, delete it if it’s too embarrassing

Mattie: I’ll check in to see how you’re finding it

Mattie: You do have a wealth of extra-curriculars, you have zero reason to be embarrassed

Lulu: Only one of those is new and I get to talk in English on subjects I’m never out of my depth with, so yeah, that’s a reason

Lulu: I don’t have time to pick up Chinese Chess either 😭 maybe I can if I do move there

Mattie: The world is seriously going to be your oyster, you can do whatever you want to do, wherever you want to be

Lulu: Is that, like, your teacher catchphrase? 😅 totes inspirational

Mattie: I’ll get a poster made ASAP then 😏

Lulu: Do you need me to draw you a map to art first?

Mattie: Oh, absolutely

Lulu: [do draw her a little map of the key places in the school even though it’d obvs be really simple which might make it more confusing than the actual map cos we’re missing stuff out]

Mattie: [when you didn’t think she would and you’re lowkey touched lmao]

Mattie: That’s perfect, I should actually show up on time for our lesson tomorrow now, thanks for that

Lulu: I draw the line at teaching myself [a thing from both subjects she’s struggling with or doesn’t like lol] as well as Mandarin

Mattie: Now that we can 100% get down before my placement is up, that I can guarantee 😊

Lulu: so you’ve guaranteed yourself a thrilled student quote for the poster

Mattie: Everything’s coming up me 🙌🙌

Lulu: 🤞🏻 you keep that energy going tomorrow

Mattie: I’m not going to oversell it to you, but I do know what I’m doing, in terms of having me as your teacher, I don’t think you’re going to be disappointed

Lulu: They wouldn’t have you here as a teacher if that was your vibe, overselling is honestly closer to what they’re about, you must be worthy of 🙌🏻

Mattie: Bragging is never my vibe but I got the placement here for a reason, and I’m glad I did, so I won’t be wasting the opportunity

Mattie: I went to a good school, but the boarding lifestyle is something I’ve never experienced

Lulu: And I’ve never not, how odd, but you won’t have to experience it that hard as a teacher, they don’t even make you share or suffer through the indignity of inspections

Mattie: My room is a mess of notes and first-day outfits currently so that is definitely a good thing 😬😅

Lulu: The second-day outfit is much less pressure, especially in a class that’s v boy heavy

Mattie: Is that a promise you won’t judge me? 😏

Lulu: I’d come off worse, this uniform is not a mood, they never are

Mattie: At least there’s no boater, the full fantasy

Lulu: It’d add some interest, at least, to how plain everything has to be

Mattie: Thank Goodness for Sundays, you can express yourself then

Lulu: Are you promising not to judge me back? Awww! We’ve got a pact happening

Mattie: As long as there are no sacrifices or blood oaths I’d say that’s above board

Lulu: Sunday’s the chapel’s busiest day and without an altar what are we doing? 😬 Bad luck

Mattie: I do keep forgetting we’re CoE, I’ll have to carve that into the nearest tree or whatever so I don’t arouse suspicion with any 🔮ness

Lulu: Or 🤔 you could use the ⛪️🙏🏻 time to mentally outfit plan for the week if you’re for real awfully nervous, null and voiding the demand for the pact and witch vibes at all

Mattie: You’re very sensible

Mattie: though lesson planning is ultimately the best use of my time, if the big man upstairs is cool with that

Lulu: I use mine for [idk whatever maths or physics shit she could do in her head] and I’m blessed to have not been struck down yet

Mattie: 😅 Well I approve even if the jury is out with the 😇😇s

Lulu: Thanks

Lulu: did Grandpa teach you to play chess too? I need to practice

Mattie: He did, clearly very serious about passing on his chess knowledge 😌

Lulu: Relatable honestly if he just got sick of telling Grandma how the horse and castle move over and over for years 🙄 I tried to teach this boy once and never again

Mattie: Poor Grandma 🤭🤦‍♀️ Is that a boy from home?

Lulu: Golly, if that was how I spent my hols 🙈 No, his mother was a music mistress at our old school

Lulu: he tried but didn’t manage to teach me guitar either

Mattie: Oh, that makes a lot more sense

Mattie: I know the sort

Mattie: Everyone here seems to have little kids or grown-up kids right now, some of the little ones are super cute

Lulu: What sort?

Mattie: The walking-talking Netflix teen heartthrob type

Lulu: Yeah, no, you don’t know him, or me

Mattie: I didn’t mean anything by it

Lulu: And I meant what I said, I’m being welcoming and chill as it’s your first day, but you don’t know me like that

Mattie: Okay, I apologize

Lulu: It’s fine, I’ll see you tonight, not to ruin the surprise but there are other welcoming first day dorm traditions I have to be there for

Mattie: Oh, okay, cool

Mattie: When you want to practice Chess, let me know, we can do it after prep time

Lulu: Okay 👋🏻 for now

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