#(Depa loves her good clone boys)

[heyclickadee]

Okay! I finally! Had a chance to sit down and watch a full episode of my favorite tv show! Bad Batch rewatch time, bay-bee!

So—rambling thoughts on “Aftermath”

1. I LOVE the way this show transitions from being The Clone Wars and into being The Bad Batch during the opening sequence. The logo burning away is great, as is Tom Kane’s narration and the little montage of moments from Revenge of the Sith, but the thing that really gets me is the way that the whole episode shifts the moment Order 66 happens. Up to the moment Depa senses that something is up with Commander Gray, that something is suddenly, deeply wrong, you could be forgiven for thinking that this is a Clone Wars episode and that The Bad Batch really is going to The Clone Wars season 8. But after that? The perspective changes. Up to that moment, the episode is told pretty squarely through a perspective people familiar with The Clone Wars are used to. It’s the fate of the battle, and maybe the galaxy, in the hands of a Jedi, her padawan, and a handful of clone soldiers, and it’s somewhat centered on the jedi perspective, even through Clone Force 99’s introduction sequence. We see their skills in battle, their specialties, and how effective they are as a unit of soldiers; but even though their combat specialties give us a little bit of insight into their personalities, we don’t start getting to really know them as people until Order 66 is given, the perspective shifts, and the story becomes theirs.

And it’s not just the perspective that shifts with Order 66. It’s the whole…everything. After that shot with Depa in the foreground, looking concerned as Gray walks away, the pacing slows way down, and the whole look and sound of the episode changes somehow. And I honestly don’t know what it is that changes or if I’m just picking up on something that’s not there, but I want to do a shot by shot analysis at some point and look at how shots look (framing, lighting, color) before Order 66, and how they look during and after. For now, all I can really say is that before Order 66 this episode looks like The Clone Wars, and that after, it looks like The Bad Batch, but I’m not one-hundred percent sure why.

2. The snow looks good in this episode, and it still looks good in retrospect, but man oh man does the snow in “The Outpost” look incredible.

3. Listen, I can’t tell you how much I love the setup of your prototypical 80’s/90’s action hero team with your very standard action hero team archetypes and how the show is slowly taking each one of them and turning them inside out. The dark, brooding leader with the knife and the skull tattoo? He’d rather avoid conflict and violence to the point that it’s actually a problem. The big guy who looks like he could rip your spine out with his bare hands? He’d be happy fishing and building homes far away from the war, and he’s so, so gentle. The one who’s a little grumpy and by the book? He’s the rebel. The nerd who initially comes across as the weedy exposition guy? He’s a stone cold badass, and I can’t describe the depths to which he loves the people around him. The jackass sniper? Will commit war crimes but will also commit acts of compassion and selflessness that you would not believe.

And there’s a lot more to all of them, of course, but I like the way it’s done and how low key it is. It’s been happening so slowly that it sometimes seems like it isn’t happening at all, but going back here, to this first episode, from the end of season two, with everything we’ve learned about them and how much they’ve developed as individuals and as a group? It’s kind of striking.

4. Hunter is one-hundred percent the frat boy and/or gifted kid with the perfect record that he was in The Clone Wars during the entire sequence leading up to Order 66, and no where is that more evident than when he says, “If you’re done hiding down there, I’d suggest launching a counter attack,” to Depa Billaba. Credit to Depa for not blowing her top (and deciding that he’s right about the tactics at least), because good lord is that disrespectful. (Worth noting that this attitude extends to Tarkin after the battle simulation scene. He’s not outright flippant, but it’s pretty obvious that he’s not happy about what his squad was just put through and doesn’t care if Tarkin knows it—or, maybe, knows that Tarkin isn’t paying attention enough to notice.)

5. Kind of branching off on that, it’s actually kind of interesting that this attitude of his doesn’t extend to Caleb, even before Order 66, and even though Caleb also outranks him. While Hunter’s tone with Depa firmly falls into, “You can tell me what to do, but that doesn’t mean my team and I will listen,” territory, his tone with Caleb is much softer. And given how protective Hunter is of kids in general, and how desperately he tries to keep Omega away from the horrors of war, I sort of wonder if part of Hunter’s attitude here has to do with him being kind of uneasy with Caleb and the other younger padawans being involved in the war at all, and that translating into a kind of blanket, barely contained disrespect towards jedi who do have padawans out in the field. And that’s not fair to Depa here, if that’s the case, since it wasn’t really her decision (and she’s a fantastic jedi and a very good master to Caleb) and she sort of disagrees with the idea of jedi taking military titles in the first place, but it does make it less of a personal disrespect towards Depa and more of a general disrespect towards a practice that Hunter can’t really openly criticize. This honestly might be reading way too much into a handful of lines, though.

6. Oh, Caleb. Oh, Freddie Prinze, jr. and your wonderful voice that doesn’t sound a day under forty.

7. More seriously, I actually like the way FP jr. is playing Caleb here. The cadence is actually good and comes across as youthful, and he plays the part well. But he really does sound at least twenty years too old and it’s just a thing of absurd beauty. It sends me every time.

8. “Run, Caleb!” I’m fine it’s fine everything’s fine.

9. I’ve written a post about this before, but the fact that Crosshair doesn’t try to kill Caleb after Order 66 is given until after he hears Tech say, “Execute Order 66,” out loud as they’re discussing what the hell just happened even though he could have, implying that his chip doesn’t really activate until he hears Tech say it, murders me. It murders me every time. He’s in the background when Tech says it, and he reacts. And the very next shot is the one of the other four discussing what to do next while Crosshair is slightly out of focus in the foreground, with his helmet on, staring away from the conversation and into the middle distance.

10. You know what else kills the man? The way Hunter keeps shouting at Crosshair to stand down, and the way he yells, “DON’T!” at Caleb when Caleb runs at Crosshair with his lightsaber drawn.

11. Man…I miss Crosshair’s original helmet. It’s such a cool helmet! He needs it back (please let it be in storage somewhere on the Marauder).

12. This episode really sets the stage for how they’re going to pitch various tones—the heavier, more fraught moments against the lighter and more warmly emotionally saturated ones—against each other through the series.

13. “Usually when someone falls you look down, not across.” Yes, that is a somewhat disturbing thing to say, but, also, Crosshair is weirdly perceptive and just as observant as Tech, if not more so, and I will die on this hill.

14. It’s been a while since I watched “Aftermath” or season one, so it really hit me this time that we’re never seeing Tipoca City like this again. It doesn’t mean we won’t every see Kamino again, but Tipoca City?

15. Pay attention to Echo’s face during the scene where a couple of clones wheel that unidentified Jedi out under the sheet. He’s disgusted.

16. I love the argument in the barracks, because Crosshair and Echo both think that the mission on Kaller was a failure, but for entirely different reasons. Also, the way Tech looks up at Crosshair as he’s discussing clones being programmed and how they’re the exceptions and adds, “But I can’t be certain of it,” is so…. He’s so suspicious that that’s why Crosshair’s acting the way he is, but he’s not sure, he doesn’t say anything, and I think it takes him a little while to square the idea of Crosshair’s chip activating with the idea that the batch is different enough that they’re immune to the programming—because if Crosshair’s not immune, then maybe the rest of them aren’t either. And that’s a frightening thought. And, honestly? I kind of love that Tech gets it a little wrong here by not voicing his suspicions or working them out.

17. Omega is so tiny and innocent and so happy to see her brothers I just *cries* Also, she is such a little gremlin. Between the food fight scene and that scene where she sneaks into the batch’s barracks? Gosalyn. Mallard. Energy. Also, I somehow missed that the family photo she pulls out was sitting in Hunter’s trunk before.

18. I…may…have been paying a lot of attention to Tech this time around for, you know, reasons, so here’s one sort of adorable thing I noticed: After Omega replies to Hunter asking if she’s got anywhere else to be with, “No, I’ll stay,” and makes it clear that she wants to be around them, Tech just will not stop smiling at Omega almost every time he looks at her. He’s got those sibling adoption papers signed and notarized in triplicate within about two seconds. (Maybe starting to think him mentioning that, by the way, Omega’s a clone and she’s one of us it’s so obvious guys later in the episode was his way of convincing Hunter that they needed to go back for her.)

19. One more thing about Tech. So. Um. That moment where Tech gets thrown from the droid he’s piloting during the battle simulation. Um. Do—do I need to have a counter for “During the course of the season opener Tech is thrown and injured in a fall and needs—and luckily has—help getting back up and around,” because that’s a weirdly specific thing that’s happened in both season openers so far and is perfectly set up to happen again in the third and Jennifer I am in your wallllsss. I swear if we open season three following Tech’s pov of his fall, see him reach the ground alive but badly hurt, and see him get picked up by someone, but, before we see who, we cut to Omega to waking up from a (force induced (?)) nightmare/vision of seeing it all happen a la the the opening sequence of the PJ Two Towers movie I will riot but in a good way. The show’s already been going ham on the LOTR homages so what harm would one more do. I am eating your furniture.

20. That moment during the argument in the brig when Crosshair turns away from the rest of the batch but towards the camera and you can see him react to what the chip is telling him and shake his head before turning back to argue more is like a knife to the gut. Related: Omega’s little discussion with Crosshair. I want to see Omega’s relationship with Crosshair develop so badly, but I’m not ready. Crossdad will kill me. I ought to buy my plot and headstone now.

21. There’s a whole other post to be made about this, but I really enjoy how ambiguous the episode keeps Crosshair’s reasons for going with the shock troopers after the brig scene. Is it because of the chip and the argument he just had with everyone because of what the chip trying to force him to think, or is it because he knows that the shock troopers will take him by force anyway and hurt his family if he doesn’t go willingly? I honestly think there’s elements of both at play, but given the added context of season two and how much Crosshair loves his family in spite of everything, I think the desire to protect Hunter and the rest from what would happen if he didn’t just go with the shock troopers was the deciding factor. It’s another reason why I don’t think that Crosshair’s story is going to end in a self-sacrificial death. Because if he’s going with the shock troopers to protect his family, the self-sacrifice started right here, even though Crosshair had no way of knowing what that would mean for him or what it would entail, and reaches a fever pitch next season during “Tipping Point.” Death would be a bit of a step down at this point.

22. The chip amplification scene is hard to watch.

23. Speaking of Crosshair’s chip amplification, the way Nala Se talks about it to Lama Su kind of implies that it might be the first time she’s actually done that procedure, or done it successfully, and that it’s definitely the first time she’s done it at the request of a republic or imperial official. I don’t think the mindflayer technology we see in The Mandalorian is exactly the same as what we see in this episode, but I so think it’s definitely an evolution of this, and that Crosshair was Test Subject 0 for the Clone X assassins we’re going to see later in the series. Also? I don’t think Crosshair has any idea that this was done to him. I think there’s a part of him that’s just as confused about what he does in the hangar as Hunter and the rest are.

24. Speaking of what he does in the hangar—there’s a split second moment during the hangar scene where Crosshair walks in, sees the rest of the batch, and looks terrified for just a few frames before settling down into business mode, and I think there’s a couple things going on here. One, he sees the batch, they’ve found Omega, and it looks like they’re packing up to go. He has no idea that they’re planning on going back in to find him, so it’s possible that he sees this and thinks that they’re leaving him. Two, the part of him that’s still himself and aware of what he’s doing knows what he’s about to do and he’s horrified, but unable to stop, and probably unable to even think clearly about stopping.

25. I need to keep a closer eye on Hunter and his enhanced senses, because they were actually all over this episode.

26. There’s so much happening in the Onderon sequence, but this is getting really long and it probably needs its own post. Related bit: The way Crosshair says, “The war is over,” in this scene lives rent free in my head.

27. I also have a lot of thoughts about Hunter and Omega, but it’s honestly a lot of incoherent yelling because it’s! It’s them! Bandana dad and sunshine daughter! Before they really know each other! (Also, the way he notices her copying him is the most precious thing because you can tell he doesn’t know what to do with it.)

28. Omega looking out with literal stars in her eyes as the ship enters hyperspace is one of my favorite shots in the entire show.

[aphantpoet]

What Shmi did in that scenario was a very good thing [without the context of future events and in the situation they were in]  and , in a better Jedi order, that’s how the no attachment rule would be taught. 

But, we also see how the Jedi’s no attachment rule applies during the 2nd battle of Geonosis. When Ahsoka and Barris are trapped in a cavern, Luminara, true to her Jedi beliefs, instantly assumes the worst and treats the situation as though both are dead. She even says as much and scolds Anakin for not thinking this way when he tries to comfort her. Had she been the only Jedi on the scene that day, both Padawan's could have been doomed.

As much as TCW shows us that Anakin's way of forming attachments can be bad, i9t also shows us that the Jedi’s detachment can be just as toxic. As much as Anakin can be possessive and controlling, the jedi can be arrogant and distant. As much as I love Mace Windu , telling a child who saw you kill his dad, was left with no one but criminals who used his pain to their advantage and then coerced him on a spree that he even says was wrong [even physically attcking him when he doesn’t want to shoot a man, a reluctance that you witnessed]  that he’s going to have to forgive you before you send him off to big boy jail [ a prison ran by people who sound like said father] , is maybe not the best response. 

Because, while attachments can get out of control, when you love no one, you have no reason for compassion. Some of Mace and the other jedi character’s best moments are the ones where they show compassion and when they fight because of it. 

The scene that endeared  Kit Fisto to me as a character is when he speaks softly to Ahsoka after she has spent the entire episode in a horror movie [s2 ep 8]. It’s a genuinely sweet ending to an ordeal of an episode. The reason people love Depa Billaba is because She’s funny and clearly cares deeply about her Padawan.  

The entire point of The Clone Wars era  is that, while Palpatine is the ultimate evil, he didn’t make the problems that he exploited. The Jedi's  lack of any real enemies had made them prideful and complacent. The senate was a mess of corruption that caused genuine problems for the outer rim and lower levels of Coruscant  and people like Tarkin and Royce Hemlock willingly joined his regime because they were not good people. He may have been the puppet master but a puppet master is nothing without strings to pull.

Me whenever a pro Jedi person uses Shmi Skywalker to promote the Jedi way:

They act as if she knew when to let go so Anakin become a Jedi Knight, but this ignores a lot of context. Shmi was a slave and she didn’t have much of a choice because it was either Anakin leave and have a chance at a better life or have him stay on Tattooine and risk him becoming a slave again. Of course she is going to want Anakin to leave, any mother in that situation would want the same. This is not a situation of Shmi being able to love in an unattached way, it is Shmi being a mother who wants better for her child.

[nieithryn]

Do you ever suddenly remember Caleb pleading with Grey and Styles, and reminding them that they practically worshiped Depa Billaba, and that not five minutes after hearing that, Grey committed suicide by proxy for her memory and the guilt he had in overcoming the chip?

One Liz is Emotional again.

[icouldntfinditsoiwroteit]

Clones love being petted

Clones love being petted, if it is a close brother or someone they trust like their Jedi who just starts petting them in the head, they will melt and if they start to play with their hair in case of long hair or massaging their scalp, if they could they would purr or can they?

Sooooo.......

Clones and their preferences in pets

GO!!

Group petting sessions only happen after a bad missions or after the first mission of a new batch of shinnies.

But they are very common between batchmates, couples or in the case of being the last member of their batch, another group of troopers who are the same kind of adopts them.

The 501

Would they let Anakin pet them? Some, mostly the veterans and in some cases the shinnies.

What about Ashoka? Similar to Anakin but Shinnies are actually more hesitant with her.

Rex: He doesn't let anyone pet him since he is the Captain of the 501 legion and needs to work and can't lose time with petting sessions, but when Anakin suddenly "petted" (it was more like ruffling his hair gently since he had been in the medbay after a bad mission) him he does "subtle" things to earn another pets but he mostly gets pats the in the shoulder or just a grateful smile, he doesn't dislike it but he doesn't want to receive a pat, he wants pets.

When Cody found out he teased him for weeks, since when he did get another pet it was in front of Cody, Cody and his batchmates are the only others who cant pet him.

Fives: When Domino squad wasn't on the best of terms, he would let almost any brother pet him, this was mostly to spite his batchmate since petting is something most clones only let other clones who they trust do and he knew that he had really fluffy hair that his batchmates also loved to pet.

While they are on the Rishi moon outpost he started to let them pet him again and vice versa.

When he and Echo enter the 501 legion only Echo could pet him since he could not bare the thought of letting anyone else but his last batchmate do it, after he loses Echo only Tup could pet him in the rare occasions that Fives would let him, after Tup died there wasn't any actual opportunity to receive any kind of pet, but, if there had been, he wouldn't have let anyone else pet him again.

Echo: When Domino squad wasn't on the best of terms, Echo unlike Fives wouldn't let anyone actually give him any kind of pets, but on the Rishi moon outpost he was one of the first ones of the squad to offer to pet any of them, Hevy was the second by letting Echo pet him and vice versa.

After joining the 501 legion he would also only let Fives pet him, but later he let Kix pet him from time to time after growing closer.

After being rescued from the Tech union, he didn't let anyone actually pet him or touch him in any way since he had become uncomfortable with any type of physical touch, when he was having a panic attack, Wrecker used Lula to pet him, this helped him trough the panic attack and later to become more familiar and comfortable to physical touch, he later was mostly comfortable with Wrecker petting him and later with Omega.

Tup: He didn't like being petted that much since it would tangle his hair, although he was open to pats by most brothers.

Dogma and Fives where the only ones who he would let pet him and Fives would sometimes times, help comb his hair, specially Dogma who liked to comb his hair after every mission, when Dogma is taken away Tup stopped letting Fives comb his hair, not because of resentment but because it was his way of mourning Dogma.

Dogma: He to the distress of other brothers had one of the fluffiest hairs in the galaxy but he hated when someone messed up his hair, only in the night cycle would he let Tup pet him, although this stopped completely during Umbara and obviously after it. But after Dogma killed Krell and they waited for the republic to reach them Tup snuck into his cell and offered comfort with pets.

Jesse: Due to being bald he didn't receive as many pets as other brothers, but he still loved receiving scalp massages by any brother, although he enjoyed them the most when it was Kix, Fives or Hardcase.

Kix: He likes being petted by Jesse but being the medic of the 501 legion he doesn't have as much time as others, but he will also let a sick brother pet him to comfort them or he will pet them.

Appo: This man is a big softie and one of the pickiest clones out there, he wants his pets in a exact way, if it's to harsh he'll tell the brother to do it gentler, same if it is to gentle, any brother who pets him always waits for his instruction, this is to prevent any trouble and to help him fall asleep, since Appo is a insomniac.

Ashoka and Anakin: At some point in the war they had become the designated petters for the clones, why? For some reason their pets where the best, not even the clones could explain why (good vibes=good pets). Some clones also really liked Anakin's mechanic arm since it was cool to the touch and some liked that. Ashoka being a carnivore species, naturally had long nails so many where fans of long nails. They both share the fifth place as the best petters in the GAR.

212:

Cody: He doesn't let ANYONE pet him, he is the marshal commander, he can't waste time with such childish things, he can't lose any time in such silly things............

The 212 alongside Obi Wan can pet him whenever they want, they will also pet him to make him sleep for at least four hours, his batchmates also do this since Cody is weak when it comes to pets, he will literally melt at any touch of that kind.

Waxer: He personally doesn't like being petted that much, but he loves giving pets to anyone who need them, he also likes to pet Boil out of the blue.

Boil: He LOVES pets, he doesn't know why, he just loves them. Unfortunately Waxer uses this against him by petting him out of nowhere, no matter how much he wants to take his hand away he just ends up leaning into the touch.

Obi Wan: This bastard will use the power of pets to make most of his men sleep or at least rest, being a total hypocrite at the same time, if they don't like being petted he will let them pet him since it seems his men are fans of his straight hair which is something different from the usual curly hair.

Wolfpack:

Wolffe: Over sized puppy.........that's it, he will act tough but he is like a puppy when someone pets him and god forbid they stop because he will either glare at them or use his puppy eyes, who knew he had them? May god have mercy on any brother who starts a petting session because they will be stuck in it for a good while, although Wolffe does prefer pets from Boost, Sinker, Comet, Fox, Plo Koon and Bly, he also likes petting Rex since it annoys him.

Boost: This man does NOT like pets, he will bite someone's arm off before that happens, the most he will allow is a small pat from Plo Koon, but surprisingly he gives some of the best pets in the entire GAR, he is ranked as the third best at giving pets, no one knows how, not even him.

Sinker: He is very shy about pets, he does like a good petting session but only given by either Boost, Wolffe or Plo Koon, this has a lot to do due to him feeling incredibly vulnerable during the whole thing, this is why he only lets himself be vulnerable in private, although he will gladly give a petting session to any brother who needs it.

Comet: He is basically the stressball of the whole Wolfpack, but in a good way, this way is that when any brother is stressed, they will pick him up and start petting him, this includes Plo Koon, although this has caused some sibling rivalry between him and the rest of the Wolfpack since Plo Koon give some of the best pets.

Plo Koon: He loves being able to give any sort of comfort to his men "sons", he has to admit that petting someone is very enjoyable and he is ranked as the sixth best at giving pets in the GAR.

Lighting squad:

Ponds: He is honestly the most cat like from all the clones, some days he will hiss at any kind of touch and other days he will sit besides any brother and put their hand on top of his head as a way of demanding pets, he does this with the shinnies the most, since it helps build trust and it can distract or comfort them after a bad mission.

Mace Windu: May the force bless this man, Lighting squad has the highest number of clones with long hair, this is due to him being really good at tending to long hair from his experience with Depa, he ranks as the fourth best petter in the GAR.

Coruscant Guard:

Fox: He is a sucker for pets but the only way anyone can manage to pet him is for him to be exhausted, in the medbay, to blackmail him with a shinnies feelings or to be Wolffe, Bly and Ponds, those three always force him to relax, first with Ponds asking Fox for pets, later with Bly petting him without Fox even noticing and finally with Wolffe demanding for pets, since Ponds is one of Fox's youngest vod he can't say no.

Thorn: This man surprisingly isn't a big fan of pets, he feels that his hair is always greasy so he doesn't like people touching it but he is good a pets or at pulling stubborn brothers into petting sessions.

Hound: This man has permanent ownership of the position as the best petter in the entire GAR, this is due to his experience with mastiffs.

The Bad Batch(unlike in canon I'm making it so that they had a normal relationship with the regs, because fuck canon and Filoni):

Wrecker: This soft boi, he holds second place of the best petter in the GAR, not only does his size give him a bed shape for any vod who is being petted but he is surprisingly gentle and patient when it comes to petting someone, he really like being petted by Tech and Echo since they both have trouble when it comes to physical touch, so for them to be comfortable with him giving them pets or them petting him, it makes him extremely happy.

Hunter: He does NOT like receiving pets, this is mostly because it sort of overwhelms him so he sticks to petting his brothers, especially Crosshair who acts tough but actually likes Hunter's pets, this makes Hunter a proud ori'vod.

Tech: Just like Echo he is not a fan of physical touch but when he feels comfortable he will pet himself with Lula as a way to ask Wrecker for pets and sometimes from Hunter.

Crosshair: He is one of the most stubborn asses out there, he says he hates pets, but if Hunter manages to wrangle him into a petting session he literally melts, and he may or may not have liked it when Echo also petted him for a little while during one of this petting sessions.

[silverwings22]

Caught in the Crosshairs: Chapter 23 Impossible: Shontelle

Series warnings: Smut, mind control, canon typical violence, childhood trauma, language, chronic illness

Chapter warnings: Order 66 needs it's own warning, character death, mind control near death experience

Previous chapter:

Next chapter:

19 BBY

Miria watched the Havoc Marauder's descent onto Kaller quietly.  The snowy landscape was pretty here,  but there was a funny ache in her chest as she looked at it.  It reminded her faintly of Illum…

It's been a long time since I've thought about that day. 

It really had been. The last year had been a blur of battles and victories,  taking off from planet after planet and decimating droids left and right.  And ever since Anakin and Obi-wan had killed Count Dooku… well,  the droids were a lot sloppier now. Dooku had been the brains of the outfit.  

Dooku.  Anakin had filled her in on that dreadful mission.  How the Chancellor had been kidnapped,  how they'd fought, how he'd killed the man at the Chancellor's behest, after he was quite literally disarmed. Anakin had clearly felt terrible about it, but there was so much on her old friend's mind lately she could scarcely keep up to help him. He'd been having nightmares again,  like he had with his mother,  about Padme dying while giving birth.  

Miria had promised to come back when she got close to birthing,  assuring him she'd deliver the child herself if she had to. She'd keep Padme alive. He could trust her. 

Maybe his nightmares were why her own wretched past was so heavily on the forefront of her mind.  

"You okay,  General?" Hunter frowned as they landed.  "You look distracted."

Miria pushed her thoughts back and smiled. "I'm alright dear.  I'm actually looking forward to this mission.  One of my former students is here with his master.  It'll be good to see Caleb again."

Wrecker grinned.  "Aww. A kid?"

She nodded. "He was always a timid little thing,  but Master Billaba has been good for him.  He's got the makings of a brilliant knight."

"Started off with a good teacher." Crosshair said mildly,  walking over and dropping her cloak over her shoulders. "Put this on."

"Thank you,  love." She smiled softly.  The hatch opened and a bright eyed young padawan grinned at them as the team stepped out. 

"Master Miria!" The kid ran forward and wrapped his arms around her.  "I missed you!"

She laughed.  "Hello,  Caleb. We heard you needed reinforcements here?"

"Yes ma'am! But… you got five clones." He frowned. 

Miria booped his nose affectionately.  "We'll be all you need.  Where's your unit,  and watch us work."

He nodded.  "This way!"

Hunter chuckled as the boy started leading them towards where his unit and Master were pinned down.  "Cute kid."

Miria nodded.  "He's a good boy.  He'll make a fine Jedi."

Caleb showed them the situation,  where Depa Billaba and her men were pinned and taking fire.  He looked back at the team.  "You sure you can help?"

Miria patted his head.  "Go tell Master Billaba we're here. Then just watch.  Consider it a lesson on judging too quickly,  dear."

"Yes,  Master." He nodded and ran down the snowy embankment to his master's side.  

Tech chuckled.  "A big entrance,  General?"

"Why don't we have a little fun with it?" She smiled. The snow was threatening to unnerve her,  but she was okay.  Her boys were here.  Crosshair was here.  

She could do this.  

They took a fast start,  skidding down the snowy slope while opening fire on the droids. Caleb watched in awe as they broke the Separatist walkers apart with Tech's gadgetry and Wrecker's strength,  Hunter moving with his knife and blaster severing wires left and right.  Crosshair walked through taking quick and brutally accurate shots,  while Miria leapt from droid to droid decimating everything in sight with her saber and a smile. Echo was with Tech,  cover fire while he rigged droids to blow or sent his electro-charges into their ranks to short them out.  

It didn't take long for them to sort out the droids entirely.  "Good work,  guys." Miria smiled.  

Caleb tackled into her back,  grinning hugely.  "That was so cool, Master Miria!"

She ruffled his hair. "I told you we could handle it,  dear. Clone Force 99 is the best of the best. Come on,  I'll walk you back to Master Billaba,  I need to talk to her." She and the guys were a couple hundred yards from the smiling,  dark eyed Master.  "I'll be right back,  boys."

The Bad Batch watched her walk off with the padawan, Hunter chuckling.  "I swear she finds a kid everywhere…"

Everyone froze when their comms crackled.  "It's a GAR wide directive coming through." Tech frowned curiously. It was rare anyone needed to address the entire army…

"Execute Order 66."

"Order 66?" Wrecker frowned.  "What's that?"

"I am..  not sure." Tech's eyes were scrunched up under his visor.  

Ahead of them,  Miria was laughing with Caleb when she spotted the other clones,  the regs,  stiffen.  She blinked.  "What are-?"

Suddenly every blaster was out,  hailing plasma bolts down on Depa. She drew her saber,  deflecting and fighting back as her loyal men turned on her.  

"What are they doing?!" Caleb yelped. 

Miria pushed the padawan behind her. "Depa!"

"Miria, get Caleb out of here! You have to run!" Depa screamed,  quickly overwhelmed by the sheer number of clones.  "Run!"

There was no real choice.  Miria grabbed Caleb's hand and started dragging him.  "Hurry,  padawan!" Something was wrong,  deeply and horrifically wrong with these men.  She had to get him to safety.  The guys would find her,  Hunter could always find her.  But a child was in danger.

She dragged him into the wood line,  clutching him close when they finally stopped in a clearing to catch their breaths.  "They killed her! They killed Master Depa!" He sobbed furiously into her chest.  

Miria hugged him tighter.  "I know,  little one.  I know.  Shh. I'm here,  I'll protect you…" She looked around frantically. 

"What's going on, Master?" He clung tightly as she stroked his hair.  

"I… I don't know,  Caleb. Something isn't right… those clones were our friends…" She glanced over her shoulder again,  back the way they'd come. 

Target in sight. 

Crosshair had his rifle up,  having followed Hunter into the woods to look for the Jedi and padawan.  His head was killing him,  splitting at the seams with a single thought.  Good soldiers follow orders.  

He had the hapless duo in his scope, crosshairs centered on Mirias head as she turned back over her shoulder.  She looked so genuinely frightened,  those lavender eyes wide as she searched for a way out.  A way to protect the boy in her arms.  

Miria… General, Jedi,  traitor… His thoughts scattered.  Miria.  My Miria.  Mine…

But she couldn't be his.  She was a Jedi.  A traitor.  

He took the shot.

In the clearing below,  Miria yelped as a blaster shot narrowly missed her head and hit a tree.  "Keep running." She pushed Caleb forward,  drawing her saber to deflect the second shot before following him into the trees again.  "Just keep going, Caleb.  I'm right behind you."

Behind them,  Hunter heard the blast and came running as Crosshair lined up another shot against the General's retreating back.  He grabbed the barrel and yanked it up.  "What the fuck are you doing?!"

"Good soldiers follow orders." Crosshair mumbled,  sounding… out of it. "Let go."

Hunter glanced back as the swirl of Jedi cloak and purple light vanished. That was Miria… Crosshair had just shot at Miria.  

His world screeched to a halt. He'd been absolutely certain of a handful of things his whole life. That he'd die for his brothers,  that having heightened senses was a huge pain in the ass, that tobacc smoke was the most nauseating thing in the galaxy,  and that Crosshair loved Miria Halcyon.  

Crosshair lifted his rifle again when Hunter let go,  looking for his target in the scope. He never saw the fist that came down on his helmet,  over his temple,  until it was too late.  It knocked him out cold,  and Hunter dragged him to a nearby tree and sat him upright.  "Sorry, vod. Something's wrong with you." He left Crosshair there and took off after Miria and Caleb's tracks in the snow.  

The two Jedi reached a large ravine,  at least a couple hundred feet deep,  when he caught up.  "General!"

Miria spun around,  eyes wide and saber up. "Stay behind me,  padawan." She murmured,  leveling her blade at Hunter.  "Stop right there."

He nodded, tossing his blaster into the snow beside him and holding his hands up so she could see them. "Easy,  General.  I'm on your side."

"He's a clone,  Master. They killed her!" Caleb sounded so frightened behind her,  clinging to her robe.  But Hunter was willingly unarmed,  and her saber lowered slowly.  

"What's happening,  Hunter?" She whispered.  "Someone shot at us. They killed Depa…"

"I know.  Some kind of Order went out… declaring the Jedi traitors.  The regs are all turning on their Jedi." He nodded. "But I'm still on your side.  I'm still your friend,  Miri."

She nodded shakily.  "What do we do…? Are the others…"

"I don't know yet.  I'm going to find out, but I can't take you with us until we're sure. Keep the kid safe, I'll come back for you.  I promise." He murmured.  "I need you to trust me on this one." 

Miria nodded again.  "I trust you… keep them safe for me." She clipped her saber back to her belt. "Come on,  Caleb.  We've got to go."

Hunter picked his gun back up as they took a Force assisted leap across the canyon and vanished into the trees. He watched long after they disappeared,  needing to be sure from this angle and distance their tracks were indistinguishable. 

"Where'd the Jedi go?" Crosshair walked up behind him.  

"I took the shot as they jumped… they fell." Hunter hated lying to his brother,  but if something was wrong with Crosshair, he'd keep chasing them. He couldn't let him kill the woman he loved… 

Crosshair looked at him as he stared across the canyon.  "Most people would look down instead of across."

"Some of us don't like to watch."

Miria and Caleb stayed tucked down in the forest far past dark before she dared to build a fire.  She hugged the trembling boy close to her as they huddled around his meager warmth,  flinching at every cracking twig or shift of snow.  She'd been feeling it for hours,  the burning crescendo in the Force of betrayal and pain as light after light went out.  As Jedi after Jedi were murdered.  "I'm scared,  Master." He whispered against her shoulder.  

"So am I,  dear. It's okay." She rubbed his cold hands with hers.  

"What are we going to do?" He sounded so small and afraid,  and all she could do was hug him tighter.  

"A signals gone out calling all Jedi back to Coruscant.  Hunter will come back,  and we can-" her comm flashed. "Hold on a moment,  sweetheart." She opened the transmission,  a prerecorded one. But it was Obi-wans familiar voice. He was alive,  thank the Force. She could-

"This is Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. I regret to report that both our Jedi Order and the Republic have fallen, with the dark shadow of the Empire rising to take their place. This message is a warning and a reminder for any surviving Jedi. Trust in the Force. Do not return to the Temple…that time has passed. And our future is uncertain. We will each be challenged. Our trust. Our faith. Our friendships. But we must persevere. And in time, a new hope will emerge. May the Force be with you, always."

The sound echoed, even in Obi-wans quiet tones,  impossibly loud through their ears. Miria stared at the holo-recording of her friend, flickering as it stared back with shattered dreams in his eyes.  She slowly flipped it off. "... The Order is fallen."

"So we can't go home?" Caleb was staring too, at the empty place Obi-wans face had been.  

"There is no home to return to,  young one.  The Temple is no more…" she closed her eyes.  The Temple… her childhood home.  Her lifeline. Gone.  "I have to get you off this planet."

"Let me stay with you.  You could train me." He pleaded, clinging to her arm.  "We could make it together."

"I'm sorry,  little one. I cannot train you." She whispered.  

"Why not?  You're a Master-" he protested. 

"I'm dying, Caleb." She turned her head,  tears glimmering on her cheeks.  She wiped them on her sleeve before they could freeze.  "I've been ill for years.  Without the Temple healers,  I'll be lucky to survive a year.  I'll put you in danger and slow you down.  I want to,  sweet boy,  but I can't." Gentle hands cupped his cheeks,  wiping his own tears away with her gloved thumbs. "As long as you live,  the Jedi do too. You must survive,  Caleb. Even if you have to do it alone."

"I'm just a padawan, Master…" He whispered.  "I can't do this on my own."

Miria kissed his forehead.  "You'll have to be Jedi enough,  my child."

"What do I do,  Master?" He looked up at her,  with eyes wide and afraid but shining with the precious light of the Force. 

"I will cut your braid for you, in Depas honor." She murmured.  "Then I will get you on a transport off world. After that… you must survive.  Trust in the Force,  it will be your Master. Carry the light with you in this new darkness… you will have to take a new name and live a new life,  but you must never forget who you are.  A Jedi knight. Perhaps the last of us, but one who can outlast this darkness."

The boy nodded shakily.  "Yes, Master… but what about you?"

She smiled faintly at his concern. Sweet,  good boy,  worried for a tired woman who was asking him to do the impossible.  "My men will come back for me.  And whatever time left I have,  I will use to fight.  I'll never give up,  so don't you give up either.  And when I rejoin the Force,  I'll watch over you."

He nodded again,  as she gently let his face go and pulled a knife from her boot. She sat in front of him, taking his braid in her hand.  

This should be Depa. She should be the one to knight him,  when he's grown.  She loved him.  She deserved to see him grow up…

Miria cut the braid away and placed it in his hands, before undoing his ponytail and shaking his hair out. Then she took his robe and carefully cut it,  turning it into a jacket and scarf instead.  "Keep your lightsaber hidden." She murmured, watching him move it from his belt to his pocket.  He looked less like a Jedi now, she prayed it was enough to disguise him.  "There's a spaceport nearby, we passed it when we landed. You must take a shuttle off Kaller. Here." She passed him every credit she had,  and half her med kit and field rations she'd been carrying.  "I'll walk you there,  but then you must leave me."

They kicked snow over their fire to extinguish it, and headed for the port with only the stars as their guide.  "Master?" He whispered.  "Until we get there… can I hold your hand?"

Miria curled her fingers into his as an answer.  "I'm here, Caleb."

He squeezed her hand the whole walk,  and when dawn broke and she sent him out of the woods alone,  he curled his fist tight to hold onto her lingering warmth. He paused and glanced back,  just in time to see her fade into the trees,  still watching over him from a distance.  

You must never forget who you are.  A Jedi knight.  Perhaps the last of us, but one that can outlast this darkness. 

He had to believe in those words. 

I'm going to freeze to death.

Miria was huddled at the base of a tree for the third night in a row,  shivering uncontrollably.  She'd been waiting patiently for her men,  so sure they'd be back for her.  Hunter had promised,  and he never lied to her.  Maybe they're trapped…. Maybe they're dead,  like everyone else. 

She'd combed the Force,  searching for any survivors she could try to connect to.  But everything was swamped with suffering,  indistinguishable from one pain to another,  and what details she could discern only shattered her heart further.  The creche… her beloved little ones were dead.  Such bright little lights snuffed out before they could really begin to shine.  

The magnitude of the loss felt insurmountable.  

She hadn't dared build another fire,  not when she'd spotted clone patrols nearby.  The smoke would bring them to her,  she'd be shot down before the Bad Batch could find her. She wasn't ready to die like that, murdered by friends.  The horror was too sickening.  

Miria hugged her arms tighter around her upturned knees and tried to soothe herself with images of the ship,  and her team. The Havoc Marauder, with her boys.  She could sit by the reactor and thaw her freezing limbs.  She could cry,  cling to Crosshair's chest and let him hold her. She could hold onto the one constant that remained in her broken life. For however long she could still have it,  because with the Temple gone…

"Miri?!" A voice rose over the snow and her chattering teeth.  The nickname only a friend would call her, in a voice a little lower and raspier than a reg. 

"H-hunter!" She called back weakly, lifting her head.  

"She's over here!" 

Footsteps crunched through the snow and her sergeant skidded to her side.  Tech was with him, kneeling by her.  "Kriff, Miri." Hunter murmured.  "You're frozen." Her cheeks were faintly blue,  and she'd barely spared herself frostbite by curling tight under her cloak and filling it with her warm breath when the night temperatures dropped to brutality.  "Let's get you back to the ship."

Tech nodded. "Can you stand?" He slipped one arm around her,  Hunter lifting from the other side,  and she struggled to unfold her stiff limbs.  

"Y-yes…" she murmured,  and the two soldiers helped her between them back the way they'd come.  "I was so worried,  guys… I thought they'd hurt you too…" 

"We're alright.  Where's the kid?" Hunter murmured.  

"I got him on a shuttle off world…" she shivered so hard she rattled their armor.  Tech gave Hunter a concerned look.  

The ship came into view and Miria could have sobbed with relief.  Home. It was in sight,  everything she still had to love inside those durasteel walls.  

They got her inside and sat her by the reactor.  "Tech,  get us out of here." Hunter ordered.  "Echo, find the General some dry clothes. We'll get you warm, ma'am."

"Slowly." Tech cautioned.  "Her core temperature has dropped.  Warm her too fast and she will go into shock." He disappeared into the cockpit. 

Hunter nodded.  "Sorry General,  but we gotta get this wet stuff off. Wrecker,  get a towel from the fresher to dry her hair." 

"I'll help her get changed." Offered a small,  female voice.  Miria blinked as a little blonde head popped out from behind Wrecker's big frame.  

"O-omega?" She shuddered again.  

Hunter raised an eyebrow.  "Didn't know you guys knew each other.  Alright,  Omega. We'll get blankets,  you get her changed."

The men bailed out of the hold. Kind little brown hands helped Miria pull off her soaked clothes and get dressed in a pair of spare blacks. Miria knew they were Crosshairs from the moment she pulled the shirt over her head,  the familiar scent of the man she loved comforting.  

But… she'd seen all the others.  Where was her sniper? "Omega,  dear… was anyone injured?" She murmured as the girl scrubbed the freezing water out of her hair with a towel. "They must have gotten you from Kamino, was anyone hurt?"

Omega shook her head. "No.  It was close,  but everyone's okay."

Miria got to her feet,  leaving the radiating warmth of the reactor to head for the cockpit.  Maybe he was-

"Careful.  Your feet are numb." Omega caught her when she stumbled.  

"I'm okay,  just need to-"

Hunter came back in.  "You need to get warm." He had a blanket in his arms,  and Echo was behind him with a mug of tea.  

"I need to know what happened!" She protested,  the edge of panic rising in her voice.  "And where is Crosshair?!"

Everyone went silent,  staring at her. Echo couldn't meet her eyes,  but Hunter did and sighed. "Alright…. Let's get you to the cockpit. I'll explain."

They helped her up to her seat and bundled her up,  pushing the tea in her hands so they could all sit together.  Six seats,  all full,  but with a little girl replacing the smirking sniper she adored. 

"The… order that went out." Hunter started quietly.  "Declared the Jedi traitors and ordered their execution.  The regs… didn't have a choice.  There are these things in our heads."

"Inhibitor chips." Omega clarified. "They were designed to make clones more… docile.  Able to take commands, but they were programmed with pre-set orders.  Apparently,  this one."

Miria nodded quietly.  Mind control chips… that explained the sudden betrayal.  But it didn't ease the pain.  

"Crosshairs activated." Tech murmured quietly,  looking at the slumped little General with sad eyes.  "I do not know why, when the rest of ours did not.  I assume our mutations made ours malfunction, but his went off. He has… joined the Empire."

Mirias fingers tightened on the teacup.  "But he was safe?" She whispered.  "He was okay… when you last saw him?"

"He was shooting at us." Hunter put a hand on her shoulder. She was shaking like a leaf.  "Like he shot at you on Kaller."

Her head wrenched up. "That was Cross?" Her lavender eyes were huge,  starting to fill with tears. They'd all known this would break her heart,  but seeing it was so much worse than they'd tried to prepare for.  

"I'm sorry, Miri." Wrecker whispered. 

The Jedi set the teacup down and buried her face in her hands,  shoulders wracking with silent sobs.  Crosshair had tried to kill her.  The love of her life. It was unthinkable,  but glaring at her in stark reality. 

Everything was lost.  

"We can make for Coruscant,  get you back to your temple and lay low-" Hunter started. 

"The Temple is burning, Hunter." She half sobbed. "I got a transmission… from Obi-wan, telling any survivors not to return.  It wasn't just the Generals.  Every Jedi was targeted… I felt them die.  Even the creche…" She shook her head.  "It's all gone.  Everything I've ever known…"

"We're still here." Wrecker said softly,  getting up to pull her into a hug.  She sobbed into the front of his armor bitterly,  but clung tight.  Omega latched onto her waist, Echo following suit with Hunter and Tech,  until she was surrounded by clones squishing warmth and security into her freezing and hopeless bones.  

"We'll figure it out together." Omega promised.  

She finally shook her head,  squeezing her eyes shut. "Do you think… there's a way to disable the chip?" She whispered,  hardly daring to hope. 

"If there is, I will find it." Tech promised her,  knowing her heart was far away in a lonely bunk on Kamino. "We will get him back,  General."

She nodded again, cuddling back against the wall of armor around her.  Oh, Crosshair…

Commander.  He liked the way that sounded. 

Crosshair sat in his barracks,  watching his new team settle in.  They weren't clones,  but they knew how to fight and were slightly less irritating than regs. And the smell of whatever Wrecker had left lying around was fading with the cleaning bots having done their job.  

The weight set was gone,  and Echos' hammock in the corner.  One of his team,  he hadn't bothered to learn her name,  was scrubbing the chalk of Tech's bunk busily,  and a bubble of discomfort hit the new commander right in the gut. He hates when anyone does that. 

He tried to shake the thought off. It didn't matter what Tech hated.  He'd left, left Crosshair behind along with everyone else and run off with that blasted lab kid Omega. He was all that remained of the Bad Batch's loyalty,  and he'd have to do this on his own.  He set his new rifle back in its case and stowed it away,  picking up his data pad. 

There was a notification on the screen he hadn't checked since before Kaller. He flicked it open.  

One new image to Folder CnM

Curiously he poked through the files until he found the folder.  He opened it,  and the air rushed out of his lungs. 

It was him.  And her.  The Jedi, Miria Halcyon.  

Miria,  sleeping against his chest on the Havoc Marauder.  Miria, leaning over his shoulder on the bridge reviewing terrain maps.  Holding his Firepuncher while he coached her on a firing range on Coruscant.  Laying on his bunk on the ship with his head on her chest,  wearing his blacks and reading something.  Standing in the hold with her arms around his neck, looking up at him.  Miria,  Miria,  Miria.  

He flipped through every image,  the recollection each moment there but… stunted.  Like watching a holo-film instead of something he knew he'd lived through.  

Almost three years of little moments, curated by Tech,  sent faithfully every time he thought Crosshair would want to see them.  Even if he never asked.  Because his brother knew him,  knew he wanted these to keep.  

The newest one was from just as they'd landed on Kaller. He was putting her robe over her shoulders,  reminding her to wear it so she didn't get too cold.  Less than an hour later,  he'd had her lined up in his scope.  What was he doing?!

Good soldiers follow orders. 

Crosshair set his data pad down and took his rifle back out,  busying himself cleaning and checking it instead. Something muted and screaming through a duracrete wall in his head was begging him to get up,  get in a transport,  and find his fucking family.  But those weren't his orders.  And good soldiers follow orders. 

[jenstar1992-2]

Here with You

Pairing: Echo x reader/ Hunter x reader

Warnings: Mentions of nightmares/ trauma, reliving a traumatic experience, Order 66 (because it’s a warning in itself)

Word count: 7,103

A/N: Well, I knew it, it hasn’t been a whole day since I saw the Bad Batch premiere, and I’ve already gotten my first writing idea (yes, this took me like two days to write because I kept getting interrupted). I just couldn’t get the image of my poor baby Echo in that med bay and seeing the trauma those damned Separatists caused him out of my head. All I want to do is hold him and never let go, he deserves the world. This was originally just going to be an Echo x reader, but it turned into a Hunter x reader as well, because I just couldn’t help myself, I love them both, and wanted both of them to get some lovins. Also, I get the sense that Omega is a smart kid, and that she’s pretty well spoken, so I tried to write her as such, while still keeping that childlike innocence, so hopefully it comes across that way.

So much had transpired within the last few days and you were still trying to wrap your head around all of it. The jedi had been almost entirely wiped out in a single day, and while you were certain their had to be other survivors besides yourself, you were unclear as to what that number was. Luckily for you, you had been amongst friends when Order 66 was given, and your men turned on you. If it weren’t for the Bad Batch, you were certain you wouldn’t be alive right now.

As you sat in the cockpit of the Marauder, the memories began to flood your brain, which caused involuntary tears to fill your eyes.

You and your men had been sent to Kaller to aid Master Billaba and her troops. However, upon your arrival, you were greeted with a pleasant surprise. It turned out, Clone Force 99 had been on planet already and had taken out a large amount of the droids before you even landed.

You had worked with this group before and had even enjoyed the experience. While your men thought their tactics and unprofessional antics were unnecessary and even a bit annoying, you found the group to be, for lack of a better term, fun. You had been around stuffy, uptight individuals for so long, it was nice to have a change of pace, and while your men were great, they tended to be sticklers for the rules and rarely wanted to take risks.

You also got along with this team rather well, enough to consider them good friends, but you were especially close with their newest recruit. You and Echo had known each other well before he joined the Bad Batch, even before his accident at the citadel, and had been friends for just as long, although as time went by and you found yourself encountering him more and more in your life, you slowly realized you might feel more for the trooper than you should, more than you’d ever admit aloud. So, when you’d heard of his survival and rescue, you had been elated, and that happiness resurfaced at the thought of seeing him again.

You exited the gunship and saw the rag-tag group of clones speaking with Master Billaba on the now quiet battlefield. They turned as you and your men made your approach. As you got closer to the group, you scanned the faces of its members before you found him, smiling brightly as your eyes connected, he did the same.

You came to stand before their leader, raising your gaze to meet the man’s unwavering stare.

“Sergeant”, you greeted him, extending a hand formally, which he took without hesitation, shaking it firmly.

“General, good to see you again”, he said with a smile.

“You too”, you responded.

You’d always liked Hunter, from the beginning he’d always struck you as a respectable man, and you admired the fact that he could allow his men to be their reckless selves while also keeping them in line, but only when necessary, it seemed. There was something else too, something you hadn’t noticed right away, but after a few more encounters with the man, you put it together, coming to an all to familiar realization, one that brought butterflies to your stomach, while also bringing about a slight anxiety. How could you let this happen, it was bad enough falling for one man you couldn’t have, but two, you were sure the universe was out to hurt you.

“General (L/N), I’m glad to see your trip was a safe one, and better late than never I suppose”, Depa said, drawing you from Hunter’s gaze to hers.

“Sorry Master Billaba, we were assisting Masters Luminara and Yoda on Kashyyyk when we got word of your need for reinforcements, we got here as soon as we could”, you said, then looking around at the desolated droids scattered across the landscape. “Although, from what I can tell, you seem to now have a handle on things.”

“Yeah, thanks to these guys”, Caleb, Depa’s padawan, exclaimed, gesturing to the group of men before you. “You should’ve seen it, they took all those droids out in a matter of minutes, it was incredible.”

You chuckled. “Yes, I’m well aware of the marvel that is Clone Force 99, and they do put on quite the show”, you said, shooting a quick glance Echo’s way. “Incredible indeed.”

Your words caused the trooper to smile shyly at you.

“Yes, well, we’re still glad you’re here, we just launched a counterattack, and the more assistance, the better”, Depa said.

You nodded. “You need us, we’ll stay”, you said before turning to your troops. “Men, a counterattack has been launched, I want you to rendezvous with Master Billaba’s troops and aid in the attack, Commander Roran, you’re with me. Let’s move!”

With that your troops dispersed, leaving you and your commander where you stood. You turned back to face everyone.

“So, how can we help”, you asked.

“Actually, I don’t think we’ll be needing your assistance after all, in fact, this war might soon be over”, Tech spoke up, causing you to give him a confused look.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, according to the encrypted comm chatter, Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi has found and engaged General Grievous on Utapau”, he responded.

“If he captures, or kills Grievous, the separatist command structure will collapse”, Echo chimed in.

“And most likely the droid armies along with them”, Tech finished.

“It can’t be that easy, can it”, you asked, looking to the jedi master.

“While it is an interesting theory, I would not bet our hopes on it, we should focus on the task at hand”, she replied.

“I agree, we should focus our energy on this attack, strike while we have the advantage”, you said.

Hunter nodded. “Any orders, or shall we do what we do”, he asked, directing his words at Depa.

“What do you think General, should we let them ‘do what they do’”, she asked you.

You chuckled and folded your arms over your chest. “Probably our best bet, what do you think Caleb”, you asked the padawan.

“I say we let them, but only if I can go with them”, he responded.

You looked to his master, raising an eyebrow in question.

“Very well”, she said, giving the boy permission.

“Ronan and I will tag along too”, you stated, then looking to Hunter. “Just in case you guys need a hand.”

“Hope that wasn’t a jab at me”, Echo said, coming to stand beside you while simultaneously lifting his cybernetic arm.

You immediately regretted your choice in words and stammered your defense.

“N- no, I didn’t mean, I would never.”

He let out an amused laugh. “I’m just messing with you General, sorry”, he said.

You then scowled at him before poking a finger at his chest plate.

“Not funny”, you said, but couldn’t keep the smile from forming on your face.

“I said I was sorry”, you heard him say as you began walking in the direction your troops had gone. He soon caught up and walked alongside you.

You chuckled. “Well, it’s nice to know you haven’t lost your sense of humor.”

“Nah, but I did lose a couple other things”, he said, face turning slightly serious.

You stopped walking and just stood for a moment, a sad expression now adorning your features. Noticing your actions, Echo ceased his movements as well and looked back to you.

“What is it”, he asked.

You went to stand in front of him before you spoke your next words. “Echo, I am sorry for your loss, truly I am, but honestly, I’d rather you be here and missing a few limbs, then for you to not be here at all. I’m just glad your alive, and that I get to see you again.”

He stared at you for a moment with an unreadable expression before smiling and nodding.

“I guess you’re right, and I’m glad our paths crossed again, I…”, he began, clearly wanting to say more, but stopping himself. You caught on though and decided to voice it for him.

“I missed you too”, you said, giving him a warm smile, prompting one of his own.

You both began walking once more to catch up with your comrades.

“You know, I was actually surprised you recognized me, what with the countless differences and all” he said with a chuckle.

You shook your head. “You can change all you want, I’ll still know it’s you”, you said.

“Yeah?”

“Yep, you might’ve changed a lot on the outside, but inside, you’re still the same Echo I’ve always known and loved”, you said, saying the words before they fully registered with your brain, but once they did you nearly froze in your stacks, your face instantly reddening with embarrassment. You quickly tried to back track before he could respond. “I mean, uh, well, y- you know what I mean.” Smooth.

He chuckled, amused at your obvious embarrassment of your less-than-ideal choice of words yet again.

“It’s okay, I know what you mean”, he said, giving you a reassuring smile before seemingly letting the subject drop, much to your relief.

You nodded as you carried on toward the others.

Suddenly, a wave of emotions flooded your mind, and it was as if hundreds of voices were crying out within the confines of your skull. You stopped, placing a hand to the side of your head in an attempt to stop the dizziness that accompanied the voices.

Echo noticed and came to your side, placing a steadying hand to your back.

“Are you okay”, he asked, clearly concerned.

“S- somethings wrong, I feel… death, so much death, I don’t know…”, you began through heavy breathes, but you were soon cut off by the sound of blaster fire.

You both looked to see Master Billaba’s men attempting to gun her down as she deflected their blasts with her lightsaber. Before you could fully process the sight in front of you, you heard Caleb yell for his master, seeing him rush past you, saber ignited and ready to jump to her aid.

“Caleb, no…”, you shouted, but before you could run after him a burning pain in your left arm stopped you.

You grabbed your now wounded arm and turned to see Roran facing you, blaster raised and aimed directly at you.

“Commander”, you said in confusion, but before you could get another word out, he was firing again. You were able to deflect the blasts with your saber, yelling at him as you did so. “Roran, why are you doing this?”

Suddenly, the blasts stopped as Echo came to your aid, wrestling the blaster out of the commander’s hands before knocking him out cold. He then rushed to your side once more, seeing you kneeling and clutching your head.

“General, (Y/N), (Y/N), can you hear me? Say something”, he urged, but try as you might, you couldn’t form the words to respond.

Your head was swimming in a sea of pain, death, and betrayal, most of which you were certain weren’t coming from you, more like from the force itself. You’d felt disturbances in the force before, but none like this, it was all encompassing and soon you found yourself slipping from consciousness from the intensity of it all.

***

When you finally came to, you found yourself laying in a bunk aboard the Havoc Marauder. When you tried to sit up a hand caught your shoulder and gently coaxed you back down.

“Easy (Y/N), you don’t want to push yourself, you sustained a pretty bad injury, you should rest”, a familiar voice said softly.

“Echo, what, what happened… they turned on us, why would they do that”, you asked, looking at him with confusion and sadness mixing in your expression.

“I don’t know, we’re still trying to figure that out ourselves, but you’re safe now, I won’t let them hurt you again, you have my word. Now rest”, he said, trying to comfort you, but knowing it wouldn’t help much given what you’d just been through.

“No”, you heard someone say, the volume of it startling you slightly, and you looked to see that it was Hunter, who had just entered.

“What do you mean ‘no’”, Echo asked him, confused.

“I mean, she can’t stay here, it’s not safe”, he explained, and when you both gave him a befuddled look, he continued, “It’s Crosshair, there’s… something wrong with him. I think whatever happened to those soldiers is happening to him too, but I can’t be sure.”

“What makes you think that”, you questioned, finally sitting up and turning to place your feet on the floor.

He looked behind him, making sure you three were the only ones in ear shot before bending down to your level.

“He tried to kill that padawan”, he said, so low it was almost a whisper.

“Caleb, is he alright”, you asked, fear and concern thick in your voice.

“He’s alive, but other than that, I’m not sure. He ran off after…”, he began, but the words died on his lips.

You nodded in understanding. “So, what should I do, where should I go?”

“Stay here, on Kaller, find somewhere to hide. We’ll go back to Kamino and sort this out, once it’s safe, we’ll come back for you”, he said.

You nodded, agreeing to do as he said, knowing you really had no other option at this point.

Shortly after this conversation you readied yourself to leave, Tech giving you some medical supplies in case you would need to re-bandage your arm before they returned.

Echo ended up accompanying you in your search for shelter, telling the others he wasn’t going anywhere until he knew you’d found somewhere safe to stay. You had resisted the gesture, wanting him to get as far away from danger as possible, but he insisted.

You found a cave a few miles from the ship’s current location and decided it was as good a place as any to crash for, what you were hoping would only be, a few days.

“You sure you’re going to be okay here”, Echo asked, looking into the cold, dark cave.

“I’ll be fine, I’ve stayed in worse places. Besides, it’s the safest place we’ll find in the wilderness, and it’s dark, perfect for hiding”, you said in a poor attempt to lighten the mood, you didn’t know why, force of habit you guessed. Although, all this earned you was a sad smile from the trooper.

“We��ll be back soon, just stay out of sight until then, okay?”

You gave a small smile, bringing your hand up to your forehead for a two fingered salute. “Yes sir”, you said. This actually earned you a small laugh, which at this moment was music to your ears. You lowered your hand and looked into his eyes, taking on a more serious expression. “Just… be safe.”

“I should be telling you that”, he said.

“Yeah, well, I beat you to it”, you said, half grinning.

“I will if you will.”

You nodded. “Then I will.”

Suddenly your body was moving without you telling it to, and you found yourself wrapping him in a tight hug, closing your eyes to keep from crying, and soon the gesture was returned, leaving the both of you in a long embrace.

“Don’t forget me, okay”, you said, the threat of tears evident in your voice.

He squeezed you a little tighter. “Never.”

***

Turns out, you didn’t have to hide out in that cave long at all, as they had returned to retrieve you within two days’ time, with a new crew member, but without Crosshair. You two hadn’t been the best of friends by any means, and the man’s standoffishness really irked you sometimes, but you’d always known that deep down, he wasn’t such a bad guy. So, when the boys had told you what had happened between their return to Kamino and their escape from the planet, it put a surprising strain on your heart. You wanted to be angry with Crosshair for his actions, for attempting to kill Caleb and other innocents, but you just couldn’t, especially after you were informed of the inhibitor chips planted within every clone trooper. You couldn’t be mad at him, you couldn’t hate him, because it wasn’t his fault, it wasn’t any of their faults, they were being used just like the jedi had been, if not more so, and this knowledge extinguished any hatred that had grown in you since the day that order was given.

Thinking back on all of this had you shedding silent tears as you watched the streaks of light pass before your eyes, attempting to let yourself to be swept away in the beauty that was hyperspace. This always seemed to calm your mind, but it didn’t seem to be working this time, so you simply stared and let the tears run down your cheeks.

“Hey, you okay”, Hunter asked from the seat beside you, having temporarily taken over piloting the ship in order to allow the others to rest.

You were snapped out of your thoughts by his words and quickly wiped the tears from your face before answering.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine, still just trying to figure all of this out”, you replied somberly.

He nodded. “I understand, we still don’t have it all figured out either and with every answer comes new questions”, he said.

You hummed in agreement. “I guess my biggest question is, why now, why did Palpatine wait so long to put this grand plan in action? I mean, he could’ve done it years ago, but no, he waited… waited for us to get close to those who would eventually become our executioners, and worse, he took away their free will to do it. Those troopers, they weren’t the men they used to be, it’s like they were brainwashed.”

“Tech said they were programmed and when the chips were activated, it basically took over their minds, so I guess, in a way, they are brainwashed”, Hunter said, looking back out at the blue glow of hyperspace.

“Those poor men”, you said after a moment of silence.

Hunter turned his head to look at you, an astonished expression over his features, he then let out an amused huff.

“You are truly a wonder, you know that?”

“What”, you asked him, confused by the comment.

“Even after everything you’ve been through, and after what they did to you and your kin, you still feel pity for them”, he explained. “You’ve always been able to see people for who they really are, and forgive them for their faults, it’s commendable, and it’s something I’ve always admired about you.”

“You admire me”, you asked, raising an eyebrow and grinning in amusement.

He gave you a single nod. “Always have”, he said, giving you a soft smile.

The way he was looking at you made your cheeks begin to heat as a light blush covered them, and you turned away in an attempt to hide it, but he noticed, and his smile widened a bit as he looked back out the view port.

“I think you’re right by the way, about Palpatine waiting so long to execute his plan. I think he wanted you all to build those relationships, that trust, with your men, so that, when the time came, he could not only take you all out, but destroy your conviction as well”, he said, his voice lower than before.

“That’s a bit ominous, given our current situation”, you said, only half joking.

He turned to you suddenly, eyebrows raised in mild shock.

“(Y/N), you don’t think we’d… we’d never hurt you, I’d never hurt you, we’re on your side, I promise”, he said, hurt in his eyes. Did you really not trust him?

Seeing his reaction made your heart squeeze, you hadn’t meant to hurt him, you were just confused and scared. You felt as if your whole world had come crumbling down around you, and you were still trying to resurface from the rubble. But you knew you were wrong for thinking, even for a second, that you couldn’t trust Hunter and his men.

“I know, I’m sorry. I do trust you, all of you”, you said, trying to sound reassuring, but it only came out as sadness.

It looked as if the sergeant was contemplating something, his hands reflexively grabbing at nothing as they opened and closed on his lap. You knew he wanted to do something, wanted to comfort you, but he also didn’t want to invade your space, worried that would be crossing a line. So, you took the initiative.

You reached over and took one of his hands from his lap, holding it softly before giving it a reassuring squeeze and sending a smile his way. This prompted him to smile back, and you both just sat like that for a minute.

Suddenly, you heard a commotion from the bunks, and your name being called out by a desperate voice.

Recognizing the voice, you jumped up from your seat. “Echo”, you said, concern in your tone, before looking back to Hunter.

He simply nodded. “Go”, he said softly.

You gave a confirming nod and let go of the hand you’d still been holding, before quickly making your way to the bunks.

When you entered the room, it took you a second to assess the situation before you. Echo was laying in his bunk, breathing heavy, head shaking from side to side, and body trembling, as if he were in a state of terror. All this while Omega stood by the bunk, watching with concern. She looked back to you when you entered, then ran to you.

“I tried to wake him, but it’s not working, he keeps calling for you, you’ve got to do something”, she said in a rush, voice and eyes full or worry for her new friend.

You bent down to her level and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay, I know what to do, you go wait with Hunter, okay? Everything will be fine”, you told her, attempting to quell her worry.

You then stood and made your way to Echo, sitting on the edge of the bunk and looking over him with your own worried expression. You really didn’t know what to do, you’d never been faced with something like this before. He was clearly having a terrible nightmare, and you wanted to help, so you just acted on instinct.

You placed a hand on his shoulder and shook lightly, softly calling his name, trying to wake him as gradually as you could, as you figured startling him awake would be counterproductive. However, this didn’t seem to work, and hearing your voice only caused him to say your name more. Seeing him like this broke your heart, and for a moment you felt totally helpless, but then you had an idea. You moved your hand from his shoulder, bringing it to cup the side of his face, your thumb instinctually beginning to rub soothing circles on his cheek, and you bent down to speak quietly in his ear.

“Echo, it’s (Y/N). You don’t have to be scared, I’m here, I won’t let them hurt you anymore”, you said, gently grabbing his flesh hand with your free one and holding it to your chest. “I’m here for you, I’ll always be right here with you, it’s okay. Wake up Love. Come back to me.”

As you spoke you could see him slowly calm, and with your final request, his eyes fluttered open, finding yours instantly.

“There you are”, you said softly, a smile spreading over your face. You were just relieved that the nightmare was over, and he seemed to be calming more with each passing second.

As he took in your presence before him, he let out a relieved sigh, but then looked to you with a strained expression.

“(Y/N), I… I was back, back with them, back to that day, I… I didn’t know how or why, and I just…”, he said in a desperate rush.

You shushed him, and let your hand continue to stay where it was in an attempt to sooth the frightened man lying next to you.

“I know, it’s okay, you’re okay now, you’re here with me, you’re safe, I promise”, you reassured him.

This seemed to work, and he let out another sigh as he closed his eyes and tried to regulate his breathing once again, coming back to a steady pattern in no time. When he opened his eyes again, he noticed the position you both were in; you were sitting very close beside him, one hand resting on his cheek, while the other held his hand close to your heart, with his clutching yours in return, like you were his lifeline, which he had to admit, wasn’t far from the truth. You were the one he could trust without question, the one he could confide in, always had been.

You noticed this too and immediately went to pull away, slowly dropping his hand as you did, cheeks now burning. You didn’t get very far though, before he grabbed your wrist with his newly freed hand. “No”, he said, and pulled the hand back towards his head, coaxing you to return it to its previous spot. “Don’t stop… please.”

You stared at him for a moment with an unreadable expression, before finally giving him a tentative nod and continuing your earlier action of rubbing your thumb in circles on his cheek. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the pillow, relaxing easily under your touch, this causing you to smile, glad you could be of comfort to him. You stayed like this for a while before your curiosity got the best of you and you voiced the question that had been on your mind since you first heard him call your name.

“Echo”, you said in a questioning tone. He hummed in response, not opening his eyes. “Why, why me?”

He looked at you then, confused. “What do you mean?”

“When you were having your nightmare, you, you called out for me, I was just wondering, why me”, you explained.

“I did”, he asked.

“Yeah, quite a few times actually. Was I in your dream or something?”

He looked away, a bit embarrassed.

“Not exactly”, he said.

You used the hand that was still on him to lightly pull his head to face you, speaking once his eyes were fixed on yours once again.

“Echo, you know you can tell me anything. What is it”, you asked.

“You weren’t in the dream, technically, and it wasn’t really a dream, more like I was reliving a memory, the memory of the citadel, and…”, he explained, his words dying off as he found it hard to voice them.

You placed a reassuring hand on his chest and gave him a nod in understanding.

“So, you were reliving that day, I’m sorry, I know that can’t be easy. But I still don’t see what that has to do with me, I wasn’t there, if I had been, I would’ve taken that blow for you”, you said, suddenly feeling tears behind your eyes, but you fought them back internally.

His eyes widened and he quickly grabbed your hand from its spot on his chest, squeezing it firmly.

“No, don’t say that”, he said urgently, suddenly sitting up, causing your hand to slip from his face, instead falling to rest at the intersection of his shoulder and neck.

“But…”, you tried to say, but he cut you off.

“No (Y/N), I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, least of all on you”, he said, staring directly into your eyes. You could only nod sadly as you tried to keep your emotions in check, which was getting harder as this interaction continued. He then softened his gaze and let out a long breath. “You were there, in a way.”

You gave him a confused look, about to ask what he meant, until he continued.

“After the explosion, I just laid there for a long time, feeling everything and nothing all at the same time, I was basically just waiting to die”, he told you. Your heart squeezed at his words, as the tears threatened to rise. “But then, I heard someone’s voice calling out to me, your voice. You were telling me not to give up, not to leave you, to keep fighting, and so I did. I bared the pain and rejected the urge to just slip away, even after they took me, I fought through all of it, because I knew that if I survived, then there was a chance I’d make it back to you, and… I really wanted that.”

That’s all it took, his words hit you straight in the chest and flowed through you, causing the flood gates to release and the tears to fall. Echo looked worried then and released your hand, bringing his to cup your cheek, wiping the tears away with his thumb.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sad”, he said, internally wishing he hadn’t said anything.

You shook your head. “You have nothing to be sorry for, and I’m not sad that you told me, I’m glad you did”, you said, wiping the tears from the other side of your face. “Honestly, I’m just happy your alive, and that you did find your way back to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life. When I heard what happened on Lola Sayu I couldn’t believe it at first, it didn’t feel real, but once I accepted it was… I had never felt true grief until that moment, and the sense of longing was almost unbearable. All I kept thinking was how I was angry with myself for wasting the time I had with you, lying. Lying to you, and to myself.”

“What are you talking about, lying about what”, he asked, sliding his hand down to hook a finger around your chin and turn your face back to face him after you’d turned it away during your confession.

You took a deep breath before speaking next. “I lied to you before, when I acted like that slip up was just a poor choice of words, I meant exactly what I said. See, the truth is, I was upset with myself because I never told you…”, you paused, finding this confession to be much harder than you had thought it would be to get out, “never told you that I…”

After another long pause, Echo decided to take the initiative, seeing as he knew exactly what you wanted to say, as it was the same thing he’d wanted to say to you all that time ago, still did. He used the hand that had a hold of your chin to pull you to him as he caught your lips in a kiss, one that while soft, was full of so much emotion it was almost palpable. You were surprised at first, but soon melted into the kiss, feeling completely content with staying there as long as possible.

Much too soon for your liking, Echo pulled away, but only to place his forehead against yours and let the long overdue words slip from his lips. “I love you too.”

Your smile reached your ears as his words filled you with untainted happiness, which prompted him to smile widely himself. Why had you both waited so long to do this, you didn’t know, but you were glad it was finally happening.

“Why did we spend all that time hiding, when we could’ve just done this”, you asked.

He chuckled. “Because we were both cowardly idiots”, he said.

You hummed in agreement. “I still can’t believe you did all that for me”, you said in a more serious tone.

He pulled back to look into your eyes. “Of course I did… I’d do anything for you (Y/N)”, he told you.

“Anything?”

He nodded in response and you smiled again.

“Kiss me again”, you said, it was more of a request than a demand.

He smiled and pulled you close so your face was mere inches from his.

“Yes Ma’am.”

***

It had been a good fifteen minutes since the cries had stopped and no noise could be heard from Echo’s bunk. Omega was no longer worried, knowing you had it handled, but her curiosity was starting to get the best of her.

“What do you think their talking about in there, it’s so quiet, maybe I should…”, she said as she got up from the co-pilot seat, moving in the direction of the bunks, but she was stopped by a hand grabbing her forearm, causing her to turn and stare at Hunter questioningly.

“Don’t, they’re fine, and it’s none of our business what their talking about, so just let them be, alright”, he said, giving her a warning look, one that wasn’t all that intimidating to the young girl, but she listened nonetheless and returned to her seat.

After a moment she spoke again, not being able to take the silence any longer.

“So, what’s the deal with those two, are they together, or is it some secret that everyone knows about except them”, she asked the sergeant.

Hunter laughed, this kid really was perceptive, not that anyone with eyes couldn’t see the attraction between you and Echo, it had always seemed so obvious to him, which is why he never spoke on his own feelings for you.

“Yeah, there seem to be… unspoken feelings between the two of them, but I’m sure they’ll get their acts together soon enough, especially now that they’ll be around each other more often”, he told her.

She thought on this for a moment before responding.

“I think so too… and what about you”, Omega asked him.

“What about me?”

“Are you going to get your act together as well”, she asked, raising her eyebrow and grinning at him.

“What are you talkin’ about kid”, Hunter asked, wondering if she’d somehow figured it out.

“Seriously, I’ve only just got here and I can see it”, she said.

“See what?”

“That Echo isn’t the only one who has feelings for the general.”

Hunter turned to the young clone, a look of surprise on his face. Very perceptive indeed.

“Why don’t you just tell her, at least one of you should pluck up the courage to do it”, she said.

He exhaled heavily as his features returned to a more neutral expression.

“It’s not that simple kid, there are just some things you’re not old enough to understand. Besides, it’s not reciprocated so there’s really no point, she’s made her choice, and I have to respect that”, he explained, hoping that would be that. However, he wasn’t going to be that lucky.

“Your wrong”, Omega said simply.

“What?”

“Your wrong, those feelings, they are reciprocated, yeah she likes Echo, but she likes you too.” She said it with such confidence that it made him wonder if the statement was true.

“Really, and how do you know that”, he asked, an almost sarcastic tone in his voice.

She shrugged. “Female intuition.”

He raised a suspicious brow at her but decided not to think too much on it.

“Hm, well, even if you are right, she’s still made her choice, and I won’t get in the way.”

“Won’t get in the way of what?”

Your voice made both of them jump a little. You had just made your way back to the cockpit and had clearly overheard the last bit of their conversation.

“Nothing”, Hunter said, watching you come to stand beside Omega, perching your arm on the headrest of the co-pilot chair and leaning on it.

“Really? Didn’t sound like nothing”, you said, raising your eyebrow in suspicion.

Omega suddenly perked up and turned in her chair to look up at you.

“Hey (Y/N), do you think it’s possibly for someone to love more than one person at a time”, she asked.

You were a bit taken aback by the question, but figured you’d answer, seeing as how you were being very honest today.

“Yes, I do, it actually happens a lot more often than you think”, you responded, purposefully avoiding Hunter’s gaze as you looked at the child.

“And what does that person do, you know, when they realize they have feelings for more than one person”, she then asked.

“Well, usually that person then has a decision to make, and they just hope they don’t break any hearts in the process. You see, love can be a tricky endeavor. However, I think if someone does fall for two individuals at once, then there are other options”, you said, rather matter-of-factly, given the topic at hand.

“Like what?”

“Those involved could always enter into a relationship all together, I suppose”, you said, wondering just how far she was going to take this conversation.

“And that would work”, she asked, seeming almost hopeful.

“It’s possible, yes, but only if all members involved are okay with it. They all need to know that’s what’s going on, and there can’t be any secrets”, you explained.

“Huh, I guess that makes sense”, Omega said, seeming content with your explanation. Then another thought seemed to hit her. “Hey (Y/N)?”

You hummed in response.

“Have you ever been in love”, she asked curiously.

“Omega”, Hunter said firmly, giving her another look of warning.

“No, no, it’s fine”, you informed him, not wanting him to reprimand the girl for just being curious. “To answer your question Omega, yes, yes I have.”

“With more than one person”, she continued.

You raised an eyebrow at her and crossed your arms over your chest.

“What’s with the twenty questions, am I being interrogated or something”, you asked, only half joking.

She shook her head. “No, just curious is all.”

“Uh huh, well why don’t you stow that curiosity away for later and go get some rest, it’s quiet now”, you told her.

“What did you do, I mean, how did you get him to stop”, she asked as she stood from her seat.

“I just let him know that he was safe, and that there was nothing to be afraid of”, you said, which wasn’t a complete lie.

“That’s it”, she asked.

You nodded. “That’s it.”

She gave you a look of suspicion but didn’t act on it.

“Okay”, she said, drawing out the word, and made her way to exit the cockpit.

“Sleep tight”, you called after her as she disappeared down the small corridor. You then turned back to the view port and took a seat in the now empty chair, sighing heavily before finally looking to Hunter. “Well, that was interesting, care to tell me what that was all about?”

“Not really”, he said, turning back to face forward.

You raised a brow. “Seriously?”

He shrugged and kept his gaze where it was.

You sighed again and leaned back in your chair. “Alright then, but I think it’s worth mentioning that the kid knows what she’s talking about, you might want to listen to her every now and then, she’s quite intuitive.”

He looked to you then, confusion on his brow.

“What do you mean”, he asked.

You laughed. “I mean, what she said about me is true”, you said.

His eyes widened a bit. “You, you heard that”, he asked, and you nodded in response. “How much of it?”

“Enough”, you said simply.

He looked away again as he spoke. “Then you know it doesn’t matter how I feel, you’ve made your choice, and I’m okay with that, I’ll have to be”, he said, trying to keep up this act of indifference.

You turned in your seat to face him. “You keep saying that, but, what if I don’t want to choose, because how you feel does matter, Hunter. At least, to me it does.”

He turned his head to meet your gaze. “What exactly are you proposing”, he asked.

“Nothing yet, just letting you know that, I know, and that the feelings are mutual.”

He smiled at this and nodded his understanding.

“What about Echo, have you told him yet”, he asked.

“We talked, and confessions were made… finally”, you said with a smile.

You both laughed then, happy to finally air things out a bit, all the pent-up emotions were wearing on all of you it seemed, and it felt nice to not have to hide it anymore.

“How do you think he’ll feel about your non-proposed proposal”, he asked with a grin.

“I don’t know, but we’re all adults, we can sit down and have a civilized conversation about this, and… we’ll figure this all out”, you told him.

He gave an amused huff. “You make it sound so formal.”

You nodded and gave a light chuckle. “At first, yeah, but I get the feeling that once this proposal is made, all persons involved will be… willing to give it a try”, you said, taking his hand and holding it in both of yours. “Then things will get more… informal.”

He smiled. “Yeah, how can you be so sure”, he asked, leaning toward you.

You smiled back and leaned in as well, your faces now only inches apart.

“Female intuition”, you whispered, your smile turning a bit smug.

He chuckled in amusement. “You’re ridiculous”, he said, before closing the gap between you.

The kiss was sweet and felt just as right as the ones you’d had with Echo, and just like those ones, this kiss ended all to quickly, but you were content to sit back and bask in the afterglow, you didn’t want to rush things after all.

You both sat there a moment, leaning back in your seats, staring out the view port, arms stretched as your hands sat, intertwined, between you. Maybe this really could work, only time would tell.

After what felt like hours, but in reality, had only been minutes, Hunter looked to you with a soft smile.

“I’m glad you’re here with us”, he said.

You smiled back and gave his hand a light squeeze.

“Me too”, you said, and you both stayed like that for a long while, enjoying a view you each thought was much better than the one outside the view port.

Little did you know, behind you Omega stood at the entrance of the cockpit, looking on silently and grinning from ear to ear, feeling quite pleased with herself.

[teletraan-meets-jarvis]

Darkest Part

AO3 Link

Pairing: Crosshair x fem!Jedi Reader

Summary: The war was drawing to a close as you and The Bad Batch provided reinforcements on Kaller. However, the end of the war came in a way none of you could've predicted, as Order 66 is executed. Set during the episode Aftermath.

Warnings: 12+, Character death, slight violence, it's an angsty one peeps

Word Count: 1.5k

Author’s Notes: As always, feedback is really appreciated, along with reblogs! Thanks so much for taking the time to read, have a lovely day!

Depa’s screams echoed across the open plane, causing the group to stop in their tracks. You couldn’t believe your eyes, sure that this must be some kind of Force trick as you all witnessed Commander Grey and his troops firing on Master Billaba, her Lightsaber protecting her with everything she had. You hadn’t realised you were already running until you overtook Caleb, desperate to try and help. Both you and the Padawan had your Lightsabers drawn as you raced to the General’s aid.

With her last bit of strength, Depa Force pushed you both back and screamed for you to run, for you to get Caleb away from the Clones before one final shot sang through her chest. In her last moments, Depa’s beautiful face was tainted with the agony of betrayal from her closest allies.

An overwhelming pain suddenly smacked you in the chest. You didn’t realise pain could be blinding, but it took over every sense in your body until there was only a bright light. Screams could be heard, Lightsabers swinging for one final time, ships being shot down. It was the Jedi. They were dying. The Council. The Knights. The younglings. All of them. And just like that it was over. You were back, Caleb pulling on your sleeve as the Bad Batch caught up with you both. You’d fallen to your knees from the impact of the deaths of your kind.

You looked at the Bad Batch and your already emotionally battered chest tightened like a vice. Would they turn on you as well? After everything. Would Crosshair turn on you? You’d seen it, you’d felt it. You’d felt Master Plo’s despair as the Wolfpack shot him from the sky, you felt Obi-Wan’s disbelief as Cody ordered his execution, Aayla’s heartbreak as the man she loved gunned her down.

Your eyes stung with unshed tears as you met Crosshair’s visor. Could he hurt you? Love hadn’t saved Aayla, it hadn’t prevented Commander Bly from executing her with no remorse. What would stop Crosshair?

“Stay back” Caleb shouted at them, holding his weapon in a defensive position in front of you. Finally coming back to yourself, you grabbed his wrist and took off running. Hunter’s voice following after you, trying to reason with you.

Tears finally fell down your face as you focused everything you had on running. Focused on keeping the Padawan safe from certain death. There was nothing else that mattered now, this kid had to live. You couldn’t lose anyone else. You just couldn’t.

You struggled to keep up with what had just transpired, your conscious mind not processing the events as your body went into survival mode. Keeping Caleb safe was all that mattered, and you clutched to the one sane thought with everything you could muster otherwise you’d crumble.

With an initiative beyond his years, the young Padawan started climbing the trees to remain off the path where Hunter could track them. The child’s tactical mind caused the sobering realisation in your mind that, of his short life so far, most of Caleb’s years of innocence and learning had been tainted by war, forcing him to grow up beyond his years.

You followed his lead and supported yourself in an adjacent tree, out of sight from the ground. Your eyes were locked onto Caleb as he steadied himself on his snow dusted tree, you pushed a wave of support over the Force to wash over him, hoping it would calm his nerves.

In the distance, two sets of footfalls crunched against the white blanket of the forest floor. As quickly as it came into range, the sound suddenly stopped below your trees and Caleb’s wild eyes found yours. His fear was evident and bone deep. It was breaking your heart. He was just a kid; he didn’t deserve this.

Hunter and Crosshair’s modulated voices broke the silence in the air as they debated the way you’d both went. Hunter sounded distressed while Crosshair sounded determined, the same way he sounded when hunting a target. Your body shivered at the thought that you had suddenly become the enemy in his eyes.

The sound of a blaster bolt snapped your attention to Caleb. The branch he’d been perched on shattered beneath him and he fell very ungracefully at the base of the tree, with Hunter and Crosshair staring straight at him.

Without thought, you leaped down in front of the young Padawan, your brown cloak trailing behind you as you descended. You landed on one knee, a hand out to your side with you Lightsaber lit and at the ready.

Bringing yourself to your feet, you peered at your men from beneath the darkness of your hood. Hunter was stood in a defensive stance, hands out and unarmed. Crosshair however was aiming his deadly sniper directly at Caleb behind you. He was ready to take the shot, every inch of his body screamed his intent to kill.

“Caleb run” Your words were strong. Stronger than you felt.

“But-”

“GO!” You demanded the young child, if you could just buy him some time, there’s a chance he could get out of this.

Crosshair’s rifle was still pointed in the direction of the young Padawan. You stepped forward into the firing line and disabled your weapon, meeting the soldier’s gaze through his visor. You listened out as Caleb’s running feet sounded further and further away. Good.

“Crosshair, this isn’t you. Don’t hurt the kid.” you spoke with a calm you didn’t feel, like you were trying to soothe a feral creature.

“Good soldiers, follow orders” his hands were shaking as he bit out the words. That strange certainty he had while aiming at the young Jedi, now wavering while his weapon was trained on you.

“Well, if that’s the case.” You walked forward until the barrel of his rifle was aligned with the centre of your chest. “Take the shot, Crosshair.” your voice was void of emotion. You’re sure you heard Hunter screaming at you two in the background. Not even commanding as Sergeant, but as a brother, begging Crosshair to stop this.

A shot rang out.

You’d visibly flinched at the sound, such a contrast to the eery silence that fell over you all in the forests of Kaller. You opened your eyes, unsure as to when you’d closed them. You were met with the sight of the Sniper’s barrel smoking. Hunter’s arm beneath the weapon, having pushed the shot up over your shoulder. You met Crosshair’s visor again and your heart finally shattered.

Crosshair’s shaking hands threw his weapon onto the ground, almost in disbelief, moving to clutch the side of his helmet in pain. Despite the bucket covering his face, you could read every emotion he went through like a book.

More tears made their way down your face as you used the Force to launch the man you loved into a tree, effectively knocking him out for a short period. Hunter tore off his helmet and grabbed you by the shoulders as you sank to your knees. You were sure your face mirrored Depa’s as she died. After all these years, how could the Clones do this to the Jedi? How could Crosshair do this to you?

“General, I’m here. Whatever’s going on, I don’t understand it, but I won’t hurt you. I swear.” You studied his features, the equal amount of confusion and despair in his gaze. You believed him.

“Hunter, you’ve got regs incoming” Wrecker’s voice sounded from the Sergeant’s helmet. The Clone wasted no time pulling a spare comm from the back of his armour, one Tech had tampered with it seemed. He pressed it into your hands and looked you dead in the eye.

“Go, get the kid to safety. We’ll contact you when we figure out what this order sixty-six is, and what’s happened to Crosshair. We’ll rendezvous somewhere safe.”

“Hunter I-”

“You have to do this, and we can’t lose you, General. Go, I’ll look after the boys. I promise to keep them safe” I promise to keep Crosshair safe.

With a nod, you scrounged up one final bout of resolve before getting to your feet, ready to take off in search of Caleb.

Before you left, you spared another look at the man you loved, still sitting unconscious below a tree. His body was limp as the chin of his helmet sat against his chest. You hated that it had come to this. That you had actually hurt him in some way.

Putting all your trust in Hunter, you mentally said goodbye to Crosshair and the rest of the Batch before you finally departed among the trees. Unsure as to when you’d next hear Wrecker’s boisterous laugh, Echo’s kind words, Tech’s rambling, or Hunter’s terrible jokes. Not knowing when you’d next feel Crosshair’s soft breathes against your neck as you slept surrounded by everything that he was. Uncertain for your future and with a shattered heart, you kept running.

Back to Masterlist

[elrhiarhodan]

12 and 23 for the fabric ask would be magnificent! 🏜

Fabric? Autocorrect issue? But I am so glad you asked.

12. Favorite character to write about this year

Hands down, Luke Skywalker. I have been in love with Luke since 1977 and I was a very impressionable 13 year old. All of my friends (all two of them) were "Han girls" but I loved Luke with the passion of, well, Tatoo I and Tatoo II burning down on the sands of the Jundland Wastes. I hated how the Sequels destroyed his character and just lost all interest in SW, but I had heard so many good things (plus a free subscription to D+) about the Mando Show, that I started watching. And when he made his surprise appearance at the end of the S2 finale, well, all my love, long buried, burst back to life like a star reborn. Since I was not (and likely never will be) deeply conversant with Canon and Legends outside of the movies and some knowledge that happens just by existing in the world, I felt more comfortable writing an AU and using it to explore things about Luke that I wouldn't be able to do within a GFFA setting.

I am, at heart, a hurt/comforteer, and Luke Skywalker is the perfect character for me to exercise my Force-given rights to cause pain and bring comfort

23. Fics you wanted to write but didn’t

SO MANY FICS!!!!

(Thank you, Tumblr, for chewing up my post).  Let me reconstruct...)

In addition to falling into the Din/Luke ship, I also fell hard into the Qui/Obi ship.  And there's a funny story to that.  My bestie,@timeforalongstoryis NOT a Din/Luke shipper. Her GFFA ship is Qui/Obi, but when she told me that, I had just finished reading an amazing reverse-padawan story by SPQR (title escapes me at the moment), where the Council denies Obi-Wan his knighthood and makes him Anakin's padawan. I was brand-new in the whole Star Wars fandom and didn't know jack from shit, and this story leaned hard into the Jedi Apprentice books (which I really knew nothing about) and all of the crap that Qui-Gon dealt to poor wee Obi-Wan (Melida/Daan, New Apsolon, even the stupid elevator incident), so at that moment, I was feeling A LOT of unkindness towards Qui-Gon, and kind of shrugged off the idea of Qui/Obi.

Then I encountered @darkisrising's Vampire AU, and well, that kind of spun me right round baby. (Dark, please finish this. I will bribe you with pretty jeweled things for the end of the story). I got stuck in the hospital for nine days and worked my way through almost all of the Qui/Obi tag, including some truly incredible Old Skool fic imported from the Boys in Chains Archive, some written circa 1999.

Anyway, that set my brain percolating on Qui/Obi almost as hard as it's been bubbling away on Din/Luke. I have notes on the following stories:

1 - Broken Qui/Obi, post Naboo (Qui-Gon lives, of course, no Clone Wars), where the Council is pressuring Obi-Wan to take a padawan. Obi-Wan refuses, disavows his master and lineage. Much, much pain... Not sure how to get to a HEA.

2 - Obi-Wan kills Maul in anger, touching the Dark Side and Sidious feels that, and tries to form/force a bond. In his rage and grief, Obi-Wan rejects it and actually kills Sidious (who is back on Coruscant!) Qui-Gon lives, but is, of course, terribly wounded and is in a bacta tank and a force-induced coma/healing trance for months. When he wakes up, he's told that Obi-Wan is dead. Qui-Gon does not train Anakin (Mace or Depa does), and he spends the next 20 years grieving and doing his diplomacy thing across the galaxy. He decides to retire from the Order, but Yoda asks him to take one more mission, to return an artifact to a small, restricted world on the Mid Rim. Guess who he finds...

3 - Modern AU where General Kenobi is taking an adult ed class taught by hippie professor Qui-Gon, who is outraged by the bodyguards watching over the damn warmonger student.

4 - And then there was the Beethoven AU that I wanted to write (musician Obi, conductor Qui-Gon) which I tossed out to the wonderful people on the Qui/Obi writer discord, and while at one point, it looked to become a group project, the amazing Temve wrote the whole thing - and it needs to be read: Save Me From The Grave and Wise: A Qui/Obi Fic in Nine Symphonies if you have any love for either music, Star Wars, or breaking your heart and getting it mended perfectly.I've nattered on way too long, but I've got a bunch of Din/Luke and Din/Boba/Luke ideas that I've started but have stuck in my WiPs folder, hoping to get a chance to finish them next year. Right now, I have to write my Qui/Obi Winter Exchange fic, finish Stars/Scars, and finish Lost and Found - those are my priorities. I signed up for the Star Wars Big Bang, but will probably drop out - I don't really need to do a Big Bang, not when I average 5-7 thousand words a chapter. Having art is nice, but not that much of a reason to drive myself nuts. I may let myself get distracted by the Chocolate Box exchange. It's one of my favorite pan-fandom events, and I've always liked what I've written for that.

[gffa]

Hi Lumi, thanks for not turning off anons yet, I've wanted to message you for months but I am crippling shy and couldn't bring myself to do it off-anon, haha. I just wanted to ask, do you read any of the Star Wars comics? If so, can you recommend any? I am new to the fandom after The Mandalorian and I really want more Darth Vader content, if you have any recs I'd be very grateful! I love your blog and literally every piece of content you post! Thanks Lumi!

Hi!  I’m glad that I left anon on just for this then!  I do indeed read a lot of the Star Wars comics, though, I go in fits and starts with them, like a lot of people do. 😂 My recommendations are: - Star Wars 2015 (by Jason Aaron) + Darth Vader 2015 (by Kieron Gillen) - I put these two together because the first 6 or so issues are meant to be read concurrently, they’re events crossing over into each other and showing different aspects from different points of view, and I think it really helps to enrich both stories if you’re alternating between the two for at least six issues. Beyond that, they’re both just really, really solidly good comics!  They’re set just post-ANH, where Luke is discovering more about being a Jedi, where we see Vader discovering the identity of the pilot who took out the Death Star, where Leia is dealing with the political stuff of the galaxy, etc.  They’re probably still some of the best comics that SW has put out, imo! - Darth Vader: Dark Lord of the Sith 2017 (by Charles Soule) - This is the second Darth Vader comic series (so pay attention to who the author is--the current ongoing one is by Greg Pak, which is solidly good, but hasn’t yet hit the same heights as either of these, for me) and it’s set in the aftermath of Revenge of the Sith and this is easily my favorite SW comic.  Soule really digs into the connection between Anakin and Vader, how they are very much the same person, how the first volume of Darth Vader comics is about who Vader is during the OT, the Soule one is about flaying him open to understand just how he cannot face what he’s doing or the other choices he could have made. It’s over the top drama (it’s SO DRAMATIC and I LOVE IT) in a way that really highlights just how awful Anakin has become, that he is crushing even more of himself and you can see him losing still yet more and more, eventually leading to something like the OT version we know from later. - Obi-Wan & Anakin by Charles Soule - This is only five issues, as well as I generally recommend reading it two or three times, because Soule is actually pretty solid about not always spoon-feeding you everything and how the narrative arcs and parallels are more subtle than you’d expect from Star Wars.  The art in this one is stunning, the worldbuilding has a ton of cool details, you get to see bb!Anakin considering leaving the Jedi Order and why he decides to stay, as well as some really fascinating connections to how the Jedi see the galaxy and how Anakin sees it. - Age of Republic by Jody Houser - There are eight issues of this maxi series, each one focusing on a different character, and they’re all really interesting and have some amazing character moments.  My favorites are the Obi-Wan and Anakin ones, there’s a lot you really get to see about their relationship and how supportive it actually is, but all of them have really great looks at the characters they’re focusing on. - Jedi of the Republic: Mace Windu by Matt Owens - Okay, fair warning, the art for this series is not going to be for everyone, there are some seriously wonky panels in it, but the story itself is a great look at Mace’s character.  Both for the bits of backstory about him and for about how the Jedi look at the galaxy, that Mace Windu is such a rich, wonderful character and deserved a look at him like this.  Bonus, Kit Fisto is hilarious in this comic! - Star Wars Adventures by multiple authors - Basically anything in the Adventures line is worth reading!  Most of them are fairly light stuff, not super deep, they’re meant to be cute stories, but I’ve enjoyed all of the ones I’ve read and the prequels ones usually have some moment that’s completely batshit in a way that’s totally true to Star Wars.  They’re kid-focused comics, but really, really adorable ones. - Clone Wars Battle Tales by Michael Moreci - Speaking of dramatic fun, this mini series is just an absolute scream, they’re totally ridiculous in the way that I would read a hundred issues of them.  Plus, you get some really great Jedi moments or Anakin hilarity moments and I’m always down for that, too. - Kanan: The Last Padawan by Greg Weisman - Speaking of gorgeous art!  Never will you see a woman as beautiful as Depa Billaba in this comic, my goodness.  But you also get the story of bb!Caleb going through Order 66 and the trauma of running in the galaxy as a former Padawan who had their Master gunned down in front of them and, boy, did this comic know how to make it hurt.  There’s some cool worldbuilding in there, some amazing looks at the Jedi pre-Order 66, and just a whole lot of feelings. - Shattered Empire by Greg Rucka - This is a four-issue mini-series with a) gorgeous art and b) a whole lot of connective tissue/aftermath for the galaxy post-Return of the Jedi.  Rucka’s writing is solid here and you get a good variety of different characters and the paths they’re starting down and what they’re planning to do next, and it’s just a very solid read. - Poe Dameron by Charles Soule - I really didn’t expect to love this comic as much as I did, but Soule really knocked it out of the park and created a funny, moving, interesting journey for the character.  Even if Poe’s not your usual fave, the work this comic put into being interesting and connecting various things and telling a fun, actiony story really was good. - Age of Rebellion and Age of Resistance are both solid mini-series that I would definitely recommend!  My heart beats for the prequels, so I’m more focused on those, but if you’re interested, these are great looks at individual characters, too. HONORABLE MENTIONS: - The Princess Leia comic by Mark Waid is one I haven’t reread in awhile but I remember greatly enjoying it.  I’ve enjoyed Soule’s current 2020 Star Wars ongoing comic, though, because of the pandemic, it hasn’t had a chance to get a ton of issues out yet. I enjoyed the Darth Maul mini series by Cullen Bunn and, if you wind up liking Aphra from the first Vader comic, she gets her own spin off comic that’s really solid, too!

[passable-talent]

*grabby hands* childhood Jedi training rival x anakin skywalker? 🥺🥺

you ever had a boy own your whole heart? I didn’t even realize how much I loved this man when I watched the prequels at 7 until I watched them again at 19- literally a gay awakening, twice. unprecidented.

also. I LIVED BITCH

Three years old, and you’ve never known anything other than the Jedi Temple. You’re learning words quickly- words like ‘up’, and ‘down’, and ‘Force’.

Five years old, and you’re told about how your parents sent you to Coruscant with pride, because you were force sensitive. They knew that someday, you were to be a Jedi.

Age seven. The time is drawing closer for you to become an initiate. You’re doing well in your classes, and you’re capable of some deep meditation, even if Master Yoda always comments that you’re too distracted.

Age nine, and there’s an eleventh added to your clan of younglings. His name is Anakin Skywalker, and he seems cool. He’s a bit old to start his training, but he’s part of your clan now, so everyone helps him study and catch up to the rest of the group.

You’re eleven years old. The initiate trials are only a few years away. Anakin is your best friend, even if you’d never admit it. He’s such a show-off, his force powers much stronger than anyone else in the unit, his marks on strategy exams are always outstanding, and he’s already a padawan, as he loves to remind you. But your politics are stronger, and when you practice with the wooden sabres, you beat him every time.

Thirteen, now. Next year, you’ll compete in the initiate trails, and if you succeed, the Apprentice Tournament. Anakin has started going on missions with Obi-Wan Kenobi, but he’s stopped teasing you about it, since he’s noticed how you redden with jealousy.

The initiate trails were a success. You’d gathered more skill in the force, though you still weren’t at Ani’s level, and passed the first trial. You had been gifted an orange kyber crystal by Master Mace Windu, and your lightsaber was distinct and brilliant. Finally, you had something to tease Anakin about- his blue blade was a common color.

For a year you trained with renewed fervor, having been moved from a youngling to an initiate. You were readying to participate in the Apprentice Tournament, where you would show off blade skills that Master Kit Fisto praised as being some of the best he’d seen from an initiate. Anakin helped you train, though he always offered with a throw-off statement such as ‘you’ll need all the help you can get’.

And if he didn’t cheat and use the Force, you certainly would’ve won more than you did.

Master Mace Windu had become an idol of yours, ever since he chose you to hand that kyber crystal to. If he didn’t mind the interruption, you would study with him, and he would guide your emotions, like your jealousy of Anakin and your angry determination, into Jedi strengths. He harbored the decision that he would take you as a padawan, as he hadn’t had one since Depa Billaba completed her trials, years ago.

He told himself that he’d take you as a padawan as soon as possible, but it seemed that you were intent on competing in the Apprentice Tournament, and he wouldn’t stop you.

Fourteen years old, and facing off against your class- and clan- mates in lightsaber duels, one by one. Your skills with the saber were unmatched by your peers. Certainly not by far, but you had a talent, a natural knack, and you quickly progressed through the bracket, until the final free-for-all. Anakin and Obi-Wan, you knew, were in the stands, just like Mace Windu. You needed only to win, or at least put up a fight, to impress them all.

Strategy was your ally, as the match started, as you did not charge headfirst into the battle. Your angry determination had turned to cool focus, picking out the best times to engage a fight and turn your opponent away. Soon enough, it was you and one other initiate- Lys Kysek. He was skilled, but you were better.

Cheers erupted when you won the duel, and you gave a humble bow, lifting Lys up to show respect to him. When you exited the Arena, you found the congratulations of your friends, and though Anakin looked impressed and happy for you, he maintained that things would’ve been different if he’d entered the tournament.

Seventeen years old- you’re a padawan to Master Mace Windu, and have been for three years. Anakin is most certainly the person you despise most in the world, and anyone who claims otherwise is clearly lying, kidding themselves. Don’t they see how you boast every time you beat him in a duel? Don’t they see the way you flush with anger whenever he bests you? What other explanation could there be for your sputtering whenever he sends you a cocky smile?

Yeah, yeah. You see, Jedi are forbidden to love. You wondered, though, if the Masters of Old would’ve written that rule if they’d seen how Anakin smiles.

At nineteen, you were knighted, having completed your trials. It was rushed, you knew that, but the Clone Wars had begun, and the galaxy needed Jedi Knights like never before. It was fine- Master Windu would do just fine without you. And besides, being a General in the Grand Amry of the Republic had its perks.

One being, of course, that you were able to chose to go on missions with your old friend, Anakin Skywalker.

He had his hands full, with his new padawan and all, so he was often grateful to have you at his side. Ahsoka, her personality not unlike a Florrumian fire cracker, seemed to reignite the rivalry between the two of you, going so far as to claim she wished that she had been your padawan, instead of Anakin.

Oh, how that made him boil.

Still, you would follow him into battle in a heartbeat. You’d protect him with your life, and of course, he would do the same. Together with his piloting and your sabre skills, you were unstoppable on missions. Ever so slowly, you forged a force connection.

It was like that of a padawan and master, but more balanced, like a true partnership. You could feel each other’s presence, location, and sometimes even emotion, when it was particularly strong. Anakin never spoke of it, and so you wondered if you were meant to hide it- maybe, it had happened because of the love you held for him as a teenager, and maybe still did. Jedi weren’t meant to grow attached to anyone, especially not the way that you had, and so you kept quiet, and just felt it when he stood beside you.

Anakin and Ahsoka had left for a mission that you weren’t meant to accompany them on. You stayed at the temple and completed the diplomatic communications you were known to be quite good at, content and confident that Anakin would return unscathed.

And then, you felt it.

In the middle of your meditation, when your body was open to the force, you felt the deepest, most raw pain you had ever felt in the depths of your stomach. It made you double over and nearly vomit, its pain so intense that you couldn’t move. It ebbed after a few moments, and on weakened legs you stumbled to your communication station.

Where pain had been only moments ago, you now felt fear settle. You had a connection with Anakin, and when you were meditating with the force, had felt horrible pain- the conclusion was obvious that Anakin was hurt. You tried first to reach him, but nothing went through. Then you tried for Ahsoka, who was equally unreachable. When you couldn’t reach Captain Rex you started to fear for the worst.

You ran to your old Master, finding him in discussion with another Jedi, who he waved away as he sensed your panic, and strife.

“What is it?”

“Anakin’s in trouble. I can’t reach him, and I think he’s hurt.” Mace turned to the nearby communication equipment and tried to reach Anakin’s unit, but gave you the side eye as he did so.

“How do you know he’s hurt if you can’t reach him?”

“Master, I- I don’t know.”

“Yes you do.” You conceded with a sigh, knowing that your master could see through you.

“Anakin and I- we have this bond, in the force. I don’t know how it happened. But it’s never been like this before- I’ve never felt his injury, and I’ve never felt him when he was so far away. I- I’m scared that he’s in real danger.” By this time, Mace had pulled up transmission with Obi-Wan, who quickly relayed the 501st’s last known meeting and location.

“Be careful,” Mace warned you, “what you’re describing sounds almost like a Dyad. It can’t be, we would’ve known by now, but if it’s this similar now, it could prove to be dangerous, later. Don’t let his pain keep you from his rescue.”

You hopped in a speeder and raced to the aid of your friends.

When you entered the atmosphere of the planet Anakin had said to have been lost upon, you tried to open your mind to the force- it was difficult, you had to admit, flying a speeder through Seperatist airspace, but you had to try. You let the force guide you to a different part of the planet, where you touched down and hid your ship amongst the foliage as best you could.

Once again you let the force guide you, sending you deep into the woods. You knew you must’ve been getting close when you began garnering fire, but instead of red droid blasters, you were avoiding instead blue fire.

So you ignited your saber and lifted it as a sign of peace.

As soon as the clones stopped firing, you rushed toward them, and found almost exactly what you feared. Ahsoka had tears running down her face, surrounded by a protection squad of clones, and Anakin was bleeding heavily from a droid blast in the center of his abdomen, right where you had felt the pain. You had taken time to get here- he was still alive, but had passed out either from the pain, or from blood loss.

“Master (Y/N), I don’t know what to do,” Ahsoka sobbed, and you feel to your knees opposite her, at Anakin’s side.

“Ahsoka, give me your hand,” you ordered her, and you pressed down her hand onto the left side of his wound, then moving your palm to its right. “Meditate with me. We’re going to give him some life force, to help him heal.” You’d tried this, once, long ago. When you were on a mission with your Master, and he’d received a similar wound. It was much smaller, and he’d been able to guide you through it. Today, you would be that guidance, for Ahsoka. And maybe, her Force powers and yours combined would be enough to heal him. “Visualize the Force, the Force all around us, within us. Visualize it traveling down your body, into your fingertips, into Anakin’s body. Visualize the energy flow being channeled by the two of us.”

Once you’d explained, you closed your eyes, and pictured it. The Force, to you, looked like golden light, compassion and kindness shimmering in the air all around you. Like a magnetic field it was drawn to Jedi, and in this instant you saw it pour downward through the funnel you created with Ahsoka into Anakin’s body.

He opened his eyes slowly, a small groan leaving his body.

“Hey, (Y/N). You made it after all.” Ahsoka called Master! and leapt forward to give him a hug, to which he laughed and hugged back, teasing that it would take more than a droid to kill him. You shook your head and sat back, narrowing your eyes.

“Skywalker, how many times am I going to have to hop in a speeder and race across the galaxy to make sure you don’t die?”

“Oh, just once more,” he shot back, that smirk back on his face, as though it had never left. “I don’t suppose you have a way off this planet?”

“You’re lucky I’m going to let you on my ship.”

As soon as Anakin opened communications on your speeder with Obi-Wan to report the successful, if nearly life-costing, mission, you let Captain Rex take the wheel, and went to the deck below to speak with Anakin in private.

“You felt it, didn’t you?” He asked, his hand over the scar that had formed from rapid healing. “When I got shot.”

“Yes,” you answered, eyes cast to the side.

“Why are we connected like this?”

“I don’t know. I think-“

“Is it because of how much I like you?” You lifted your head in surprise, and briefly felt an emotion you almost never felt from Anakin- vulnerability.

“You- you do?”

“I have since we were kids. I never told you, because I knew I wasn’t supposed to feel this way, and thought that since you were raised in the temple, you’d never feel the same.” His expression told you he was sensing the emotions that currently broiled in your heart. The nervousness, the surprise, but mostly the relief, relief that your love wasn’t unrequited, that you weren’t the only one, that you weren’t breaking the code alone.

“Anakin, I- I can’t believe this.” You took the two quick steps to him but stopped short of the hug he was expecting, briefly laying your fingers where his wound had been, where his robes were scorched. “I’m glad you’re not dead.” Anakin gave a little laugh.

“Yeah, me too.” You closed the distance and hugged him, tightly, closing your eyes and letting yourself feel as satisfaction and happiness bounced between the two of you. “I’m glad you were there when I woke up.” You snorted, pulling away, eyes narrowed playfully.

“Buddy, if I wasn’t there, you wouldn’t have woken up.” Instead of teasing back, as you had expected, Anakin took hold of your closer wrist, the playfulness only in his smirk.

“Then it’s a good thing you were there. If you hadn’t been, I wouldn’t have gotten to do this.” With his opposite hand he cupped your face, and slowly, he brought the two of you together.

Scattered across the galaxy, there were four people who felt it when the two of you kissed. Not because of the kiss itself, but because of the connection between two who were bound by the force, pulsating outward from a moment of satisfaction, devotion, happiness. Master Yoda, on a mission to Endor, who scowled, wondering how much harder it would become to control Anakin. Mace Windu, on Coruscant, who laughed, as though he expected such a feeling. Obi-Wan Kenobi, in a cruiser halfway ‘cross the galaxy, who merely shook his head. And, on the very same ship, Ahsoka Tano, who quietly received five Republic credits from Captain Rex, who’d lost their bet.

-🦌 Roe

[the-yearning-astronaut]

Alright. Well. Just finished reading the Kanan comics and I'm. Very thoroughly upset now. Consider yourselves warned.

It's one thing to know, intellectually, that the padawans serving during the Clone Wars are just kids. It's one thing to know that the Clones are also just kids.

It's another thing entirely to see them explicitly drawn that way.

The character designers for Clone Wars made a very deliberate choice when they made the clones -- they made them look like men in their 30s. You know why? Because accelerated aging or not they are kids. Kids! Even with the aging, they are sent to fight looking like 16-18 year olds. Rex is 10 when we are first introduced to him. 10.

Do you know how babyfaced 20 year olds are?? Think of how well the show would have been received if all the soldiers dying looked like young men barely out of their teens -- if even that. Fives and Echo and Hevy were sent out early. Think about that. Think of how young they were. For context, Rex was a captain at 10.

(Filoni has said that the art style chosen for tCW is supposed to be invocative of the Republic Propaganda poster art -- they wouldn't have wanted their soldiers looking like the kids they are, either.)

Ahsoka is 14 when we meet her in tCW -- 13 in the film, I think? Kanan is 11 at the start of the wars and 14 by the end of it. Rex is 13 at the end.

That's. I can't even word how upsetting that is to me.

I'm once again infuriated by the Jedi Order. I dont care how you spin it -- it all comes down to the fact that they very knowingly funded -or at least led- a massive slave army of child soldiers. That they separated children from their families, raised them without love (and yes, this is exactly what they did -- Kanan's inner monologue says as much in the novel A New Dawn), and trained them for war while calling themselves peace keepers. And then they sent out both padawans and clones to fight and die.

I'm putting a few comic panels under the cut because I need to share why I'm so upset. The first few are panels showcasing how young Kanan and the clone he befriends are. The last few... yeah. Heed the content warning please. And obviously there are spoilers here for vol 2 of Kanan's comic run.

CW: non graphic depiction of a very young clone dying in a very young Kanan's arms.

Context, in order:

(1) the other younglings think Kanan is too young to be a padawan. Depa herself knows he is but takes him on anyway.

(2) The Commander and Captain, looking all of MAYBE 16 and 18. One of the new shinies, doesn't even have a name yet. Look how young he is even with the accelerated aging.

(3) Kanan and 1157 goofing around. Like kids. Because that's what they are.

(4) Baby boy gets his name... And 14 year old Kanan says he's way older than Stance.

(5) The panels that broke my heart and the ones warranting the content warning.

They are children. How are the Jedi doing good when they are sending children to die?

[kanaima]

Shaak Ti (aka oficial Clone Mom) headcanons:

She is one of the jediest Jedi, one can hardly get any more Jedi than Shaak Ti. 

She is a Jedi Consular. 

She also is one of the best Togruta hunters, and is highly respected in Shili. 

Her fangs are just a bit more pointy than the ones of the average female Togruta.

Her facial marks, lekku and montrals didn’t start to actually grow up till she was in her late teenage years, however, she always has been very tall.

She loves spicy food and is a great cook.

She reing over the kingdom of Patience and Forbearance.

Shaak loves babies!

Every time she can, she helps in the Crèche.

Or in the nursery of Kamino. 

The first time she hold a baby clone in her arms, she cried. 

They are her boys. 

Shaak had had words with Nala Se, Lema Su, and even with some of the treaning sargents of the Cuy'val Dar.

Loves jewerly, but very rarely uses it, except for her headdress. 

Shaak, Luminara, Depa, Vokara, Stass and Adi are very good friends. 

Princess of Resting Bitch Face (the queen is Vokara).

Loves music, but nothing to loud, since her montrals are very, very sentitive. 

Her lightsaber abilities and fighting skills are on point. 

She knows how hard is to be a female Toguta, some people just see the lekku and inmediately dismiss her. 

Shaak helped Aayla Secura to become more confident, because if female Togruta have it bad because of their lekku, the amout of disrecpect female Twi’leks have to endure is outrageous.

In this house we love Shaak Ti

[siennahrobek]

Future Past

10 BBY

“Children are not taken from their families, Luke,” Ben explained patiently. Luke didn’t exactly remember how the conversation came up, really, but he didn’t mind where it was going. He loved hearing about the Jedi. It just made him more determined to become one himself, or, at least, as much as he could with the absence of the Order. They were on a planet side of fields of grass and an abundance of flowers and hadn’t been attacked in weeks. Using that calm time to visit a place, to relax on a planet they had settled down to pick flowers, meditate and talk. Luke loved it when they could just sit and meditate and talk. “They are adopted. If a Finder or Seeker does happen to find a child, they may ask for custody, explaining why and the like. More often than not, however, there were plenty of children given to the Jedi.”

“Why would parents give their kids away?” Luke asked, curiously, looking up at him with his head shifted to the side as he plucked a few blades of grass. Ben’s smile was so warm and nice, and he always had good feelings to send towards Luke and Luke always caught them whole-heartedly. “Don’t they love them?”

“They do, I imagine,” he agreed with a small nod as he bunched up a few of the smaller flowers with longer stems into a bouquet. “But being a parent is a bit about doing what you think is right for your child, even if it hurts. Many times, force sensitives can have a hard time with control without the proper training. Children like this are better raised in an environment with other force sensitives. Especially as a child, they can lash out when having intense emotions, sometimes even accidently hurting those around them.”

“Oh,” Luke sat back and glanced at his hands, studying them closely. He wondered, passively, if couldn’t really be a good jedi or if he would lash out because he wasn’t around more like him. Maybe Ben was enough? He would be enough, Luke determined stubbornly. Luke wouldn’t lose control; he would grow up strong and kind and good. “What about…if they don’t have any parents? Or…or if their parents don’t want them?”

“If they do not have parents, the Jedi will try to find any remaining family for their permission,” Ben continued, wrapping a long strong blade of grass around the stems of the flowers he had taken. “If there is none, a petition can be made to adopt the child. Sometimes a jedi may technically take a child if they are being endangered or the parent tries to harm them. A jedi will do that in any case, even if the child is not force sensitive.”

“Like me, when Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru were…gone,” Luke pointed out, fiddling with his fingers, unable to meet his teacher’s gaze. He picked up a few of the flowers that he himself had picked and put them in a pile, carefully placing the stems away from the petals. They were beautiful, he thought, with so many colors and so soft to touch. “And you took me away.”

Ben nodded, although a bit sad, like the prospect of having to take Luke away was sad. It was a little, Luke thought. He did miss Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru, sometimes he wished they were with him. But he was also glad he was with Ben. Being with Ben was better in some ways, learning how to control his feelings and abilities. He didn’t have nearly as many accidents anymore. But he still missed his aunt and uncle. They were gone, though, and Luke would have to accept that. It was okay, because they were everywhere now. “Yes. To protect you, I had to take you away,” Ben agreed.

“I’m glad you did, Ben.”

***

“Children are raised in what we called the Creche,” Ben started, Luke curled up into his side in his room. Normally Ben stayed outside on a pullout cot, as he claimed to want to give Luke space and a bit of privacy, but Luke had just awoken from a nightmare and nearly begged Ben to stay with him. It hadn’t taken much. He asked about children of the Jedi, after they were adopted from their biological parents. It was a random question, Luke hadn’t even really understood where it came from.

“What happens there?” Luke murmured, messing with a little block toy Ben had gotten him a few days prior.

“Well, they are raised all together,” Ben started, trying not to let his voice crack with emotion. “Everyone becomes brothers and sisters. My crechemates and I were friends for our entire lives, long after we had parted ways and found masters, becoming padawans.”

“Was it nice, in the creche?” he asked.

“Yes. We had a few adults of course, to help teach us and protect us, to love and care for us. We found a lot of love within those walls. The creche was one of the places most imbued with so much innocence, love and light. You never think anything truly bad can happen there.”

Luke knew something bad must have happened, especially since all the Jedi were gone. If not, he imagined Ben would be there right now. Perhaps it would make him happier and less lonely. He doesn’t say it, Luke thought it would make him even more sad, but Luke believed he would have been rather happy in the creche.

6 BBY

“Can you tell me more about Master Windu?” Luke asked eagerly, leaning forward across the table and nearly knocking over Ben’s cup of tea. He snatched it away as it precariously set on the edge of the cup. He let out a chuckle which just seemed to make Luke even more eager, biting his lip with his eyes pleading.

They were in hyperspace, far away from their jaunt with the Empire and the stormtroopers trying to follow them. If they were lucky, they could hide for a week before they finally caught up. Ben talked about visiting a planet, one full of water and colorful plants. Luke had wondered if they had an underwater garden and if they did, he would love to see it. Ben had just laughed shortly.

“What do you want to know?”

“You said he used a different lightsaber form? And you said you pranked him once with Master Vos and he never knew, what happened and you said he was a theater person, did he actually act or did he just like going to plays, can you tell me about his padawan, Master Billaba was she pretty she sounds like she would be pretty, you were friends with her right was it weird to be friends with both Master Windu and Master Billaba since they were master and padawan at one point did Master Billaba take another padawan, did Master Windu, was his lightsaber really purple why was it purple is there a reason for that do the different colors mean different things why is your saber blue what do you think my color would be if I got a saber-.”

Ben laughed out loud which eventually led Luke to stop talking in such a rush and ended his ramble. “You must calm down, little beacon,” he said, waving his hands in a gesture for the boy to slow down. “I cannot answer any of your questions if you do not allow me time to hear them and answer.”

Luke sat back down, a bit sheepish. “Sorry, Ben.”

“Now, Master Windu was an incredible duelist and a great friend,” Ben started with a fond smile. “And both he and his former padawan, Depa, were my friends. For different reasons, I suppose, but they were both great people and amazing jedi.”

Luke settled down, leaning down with his chin and arms resting on the table below him, his eyes never leaving Ben as he told him about his old friends.

4 BBY

“Aurek 5,” Luke called out. They were on their ship, in the middle of hyperspace with an old children’s game between them. Ben had explained the rules – it was fairly simple, and they had just spent hours going back and forth, trying to take down each other’s ships.

“Miss. Leth 7,” Ben responded, easily.

Luke scowled. “Hit. Qek 2.” Despite Ben’s amused smile, Luke placed a marker on part of one of his ships to indicate the partial destruction. “Why are we doing this? This isn’t a strategy game; it’s just a game of chance. Wouldn’t it be better to do something that would help with strategy and tactics?”

“Miss,” Ben replied. “Sometimes, little beacon, in a situation you are blind and can only work with what you have and what you cannot see. Besides, it can be fun if you let it. What has caught your interest on strategy and tactics? Wesk 1.”

“Hit,” Luke grumbled, lowering his head to stare. He studied his board and glowered. “Last night, you told a story about Commander Cody and the 212th. I think I can find wisdom in knowing some of the things you know, some of the things you learned in the Clone Wars,” Luke explained, eyes flitting over the board as he tried to figure out his next move. “Osk 10.”

“Miss,” came Ben’s answer. “You have an interest in war? Is there something you aren’t telling me, Luke? Jenth 6.”

“Miss,” Luke said, a bit relieved that he hadn’t hit his ship. It was close and if he had, it would have been destroyed and taken out of the game. “It’s not so much an interest in war, but I know about the rebellion. Maybe…. maybe some time we could help. Osk 2.”

“Miss. That would be mighty dangerous,” Ben replied, calmly. “We both garner a lot of attention from Vader and the Empire, it would put a lot more danger and pressure on the rebels. Jenth 7.”

“Miss,” Luke said, shifting his arms. “They’re not at war yet, not quite. But when they are, I think we can be of help. At least even just to occupy Vader so they can do missions or retreat. Aurek 2.”

“Miss. Is this interest in the rebellion or is this interest in finding and seeing Boil again?” Ben questioned, raising an eyebrow at the teenager. Luke just sighed and rested his chin on his arms. “Wesk 3.”

“Hit,” Luke grumbled. “It’s not about Boil, not really. I just…I know you have been teaching me all you can, and I really appreciate it. I love it, more than you know, but I also know, without the Jedi Order, I can’t really be a Jedi.”

There was a brief silence. “What?”

“Krill 8,” Luke called.

“Luke, do you no longer wish to be a jedi?” Ben asked, masking his surprise. “It is alright if you no longer wish to continue your studies, I will not be offended. The way of life is not for everyone.”

“That’s not it,” Luke insisted, looking up. “I swear, I want to be a Jedi more than anything else. But… the Jedi Order is gone, there is nothing I can do, nothing I can be… a part of. I thought, maybe, if I can’t really be a jedi, I’m a decent pilot.”

“Your talents are not to be denied, for sure, young one. But being Jedi is not dependent on the survival or continuation of the Order,” Ben murmured, softly. He didn’t quite meet Luke’s eyes, but he didn’t mind. It was okay. Miss. “It is an attitude, a way of life, a philosophy and spirituality if you will.”

Ben has told him this before, Luke knew, but somehow, it did not always do a good job of convincing him.

“Am I any less of a Jedi because the Order no longer exists?”

The question had caught him off guard. “What? No, of course not. You are a jedi, that’s who you are.”

“And if you wish it, it can be you as well, but only if you want it,” Ben pointed out. “The Order is gone, yes, but the Jedi still remain. We are alive. There are not many of us left, but there are some.”

Luke nodded. “Okay, Ben. I believe you.”

“Krill 8 did you say?” Ben asked, raising an eyebrow curiously at him.

The teenager nodded.

Ben’s smirk grew into a knowing smile. “Hit.”

4 BBY

Luke didn’t meet another Jedi until he was nearly sixteen. He wasn’t sure if Ahsoka Tano would have appreciated being called one when he did meet her, so just to be safe, he kept her off the list. And the person he met didn’t completely entertain his thoughts on what a Jedi was either, but, at least, the sight of him had made Ben quite happy, despite him bursting into tears.

They had been on a small, backwater plant that was mostly covered in thick forests, dotted with cities that stayed tight knit, possibly out of fear of what was in the forested areas. They had found a little place just outside of the domed areas, out of sight to practice lightsaber katas. Luke had learned the basics of the forms, the ones that he knew initiates had learned before they became padawans and then those learned in classes as padawans. He had excelled swiftly, and they found Luke was a rather quick learner, picking up movements when he had a good peace of mind. It had taken him some time to learn meditation, which in the end, had certainly helped his ability to learn and keep information as well as keep a sense of calm.

Picking up lightsaber forms was easier after learning meditation and learning to enjoy it. There wasn’t a lot to do on their little ship and Luke was determined. It wasn’t so much that learning it wasn’t hard, but in the end, Luke had realized what he had gained through it. His patience had grown exponentially. He had a sturdy sense of self, of empathy and self-reflection. Something that helped him with going over intense feelings, being able to think and work through those feelings before acting.

He wasn’t perfect at it, but he was a lot better than before.

Luke was strong and fierce, often having a bit of force behind his blows and leaning towards Shien and Djem So, his father’s style. His blows often ended up being choppy and powerful, but he could never match Ben’s steady and impenetrable defense of Soresu. Luke tried to have a focus on that too. Aside from Vader, there wasn’t anyone they really tended to fight with sabers and Luke knew he could never really overpower Vader – the man was practically a force of nature. Most of the people they fought against were stormtroopers and pirates and although their aim was rarely great, they used blasters rather than sabers. Soresu was an excellent defense and Luke was determined to make Ben proud, no matter how many times the man told him he need not follow his style.

Aratu was something Luke found some fun in, and Ben had been surprisingly good at it. The flourishes and jumps got Luke moving and kept him in shape. He often found himself laughing too hard when he and Ben sparred, and the youngster decided to work on this style. It was entertaining and enjoyable.

The training in hand-to-hand combat had been most helpful as well. Ben had taught him plenty, which often ended up helping him with his lightsaber sparring, but Boil had also taught him some things (as well as blaster care) and Luke found it handy. He wasn’t to bring out a saber, if he had his fathers on hand, unless it was absolutely necessary, instead having to lean on the blasters Ben could get alongside fighting with his hands.

Luke had nearly fell over the first time he had flipped Ben over.

The “good job” however just made Luke nearly scream inside.

They had been through several hours of steady katas which made Luke’s muscles certainly burn. Technically he knew that Ben’s favored form, that of defense and endurance, had helped Ben’s ability to go on for hours and hours, but sometimes Luke had no idea how he could just keep going and going and going.

Luke did actually fall over when Ben finally told him they could stop. He just barely had enough time to clip his father’s saber to his belt before literally flopping over in the grass of the clearing they were working in.

Ben had just stood over him with a chuckle. “Are you alright?”

“Totally,” Luke grinned, giving the older man two thumbs up. “I know how you do that, but I just don’t know how you do that.”

He laughed a little more. “I have had plenty of practice and experience, dear boy. How about some dinner, yes?”

Luke sat up in a scramble. “Really? Like, on planet? Sit down with plates and forks and napkins?”

This really got the amusement out of him as Ben helped him stand and continued to laugh. “Absolutely. My treat.”

The boy snickered. “It’s always your treat, old man,” he grinned. Grabbing their cloaks, Luke slipped his on and put his father’s saber in the bag Ben carried on him. Ben would let him carry it plenty and probably would have let him then, but it was more habit, to just put it away. Besides, the crystal didn’t really resonate with him.

He wished someday he would be able to find his own.

The two of them packed up what little they had and headed back into the domed city, going through a checkpoint once they got to the border to make sure they hadn’t picked up anything. The security teams didn’t reach into Ben’s bag enough to find the lightsaber and the examination was mostly for diseases or bugs. It was a bit slow, but they got through it with flying colors.

Cities on the planet weren’t particularly tall and didn’t reach into the sky as Luke had noticed on some other planets, but what it lacked in height, it made up in surface area. Miles upon miles were shops and homes, parks, schools and churches. Anything anyone could want under their white sun.

Luke and Ben didn’t have a lot of money, but they did a little window shopping on their way to find a good place to eat. Luke nearly spent an entire half hour browsing in a droid parts store.

“I’d like one someday,” Luke muttered to himself as he admired an old astromech. It was charging and powered down, but it was painted in a brilliant gold, tints of little blue stripes alongside. “Just a little one,” he murmured.

Ben was at his side, although Luke hadn’t noticed at first. “Nearly enough.”

Luke nearly jumped and glanced over at his guardian. “Huh?”

“I have nearly saved enough,” Ben replied, evenly, giving the boy an entertained side eye. “It isn’t much, you won’t be able to get a large droid, not even an astromech, as I don’t have enough and it probably wouldn’t fit well in our ship but, Luke, soon, I think we might be able to start looking for a droid for you. If that is something you would still like.”

A grin grew on the blonde’s face as he grinned wildly. “Are you serious?”

Ben nodded. “Yes.”

“Oh! OH! Yes! Thank you so much! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Luke cheered, practically bowling the older man over in a hug. Ben nearly didn’t have time to brace himself, but he somehow caught Luke anyways. He always caught Luke. “I can’t believe it!”

“We will have to talk about what kind,” Ben started prudently. “And we will have to go over proper care, not only for the droid’s sake but to make sure that if it is ever captured or lost, it cannot be traced back to us.”

“Of course, of course,” Luke nodded impatient and eager. “I don’t want anything big anyways. Maybe a little BD unit? They’re really fun and kind of cute, have you seen them run? And they are explorer class so they would be alright with any terrain we come with, tiny little things. I know they aren’t very common, but I think it would be a good choice,” he rambled. “I think we could find one.”

Ben smiled gently and took his hand, leading him out of the shop. “That does seem like a good choice. I think, if we research well enough and keep our ears and eyes open, we will be able to find one. But, for now, let’s get something to eat, shall we?”

His nod was enthusiastic as the teenager practically hopped a long. A droid! Finally! It was something that Luke really wanted for quite some time. He found them fascinating and some of them really adorable. It was another to talk to other than just Ben. He loved Ben, he didn’t want anyone to think otherwise, but it would be nice not to talk to someone like him sometimes, about some of the dumb and teenager stuff. Ben was a great listener but he was also a lot older than Luke; he didn’t actually want to listen to Luke’s dumb teenager stuff. Droids may not be like humans, but they could, generally, carry on with a conversation with their programming.

The droid talk ceased as the two of them finally got into the part of town that held more of the bars, pubs and restaurants. They had peeked into a few but eventually found one that wasn’t too expensive but wasn’t a palace of dirt either. The table they had gotten was out of the way and outside, something that was fine with the both of them. If something was to happen, they could easily cut and run.

Luke had never really sat down at a restaurant. They were on the run a lot and even if they got food from a restaurant, it was always take-out. Since they were always on the move. Ben would talk about his favorite diner back on Coruscant, before the downfall of the jedi and the republic. His friend, Dexter Jettster owned it, a former arms dealer and criminal he had befriended who had acted as his informant in multiple missions throughout his career as a jedi, as a knight and a general in the war.

Whenever Ben would have a nerfburger, Luke would ask how it held up to Dex’s.

Ben would just laugh and say no burger held up to Dex’s.

Luke didn’t remember precisely what they were talking about, but something happened, something shifted around them. A presence. Luke hadn’t known what it was but by the stiffness Ben quickly displayed and the look in his eye, he did.

“Impossible,” Ben whispered and glanced around.

“Hey there,” a low voice chuckled, near humorlessly.

The two of them swiveled around. Luke narrowed his eyes at the man before them. He was a Kiffar, if he wasn’t mistaken, with a yellow stripe over his nose and dreadlocks hanging around his shoulders, dark eyes staring at Ben as if he couldn’t believe it either. Luke glanced between the two.

“Quinlan,” Ben mumbled, shocked.

“Just…Vos for now,” the kiffar shrugged. “Can I sit down?”

Ben was practically in tears already and just stared at the man.

“Go ahead,” Luke answered for him.

The man sat down between them and studied Ben for a moment. “You did not age as well as I thought you would.”

“I…I…I spent almost ten years under the twin suns of Tatooine,” Ben confessed, his voice thick and barely coming out audibly with a hint of some kind of amusement. Luke was a little surprised how open and honest he was being. Rarely was Ben this straightforward, much less so entertained by a slight.

The kiffar – Vos – nodded. “That would do it. I can’t believe you’re alive. Well, I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised, you’ve always been pretty good at the whole surviving against all odds thing,” he chuckled but it was with very little actual humor. “Didn’t think you would take on a padawan, though,” he added, glancing at Luke, curiously. His smirk contained more humor than his chortle had a moment prior.

“He’s not…” Ben shook his head as his denial started, trying to get a hold of himself. Luke glanced away; he did not need to be reminded of what he was not. He knew all too well. “He’s not that. This is Luke. I am his guardian. I go by Ben these days.”

Vos glanced at Luke and looked him up and down and gave him a lopsided smile. “Nice to meet ya, kid.”

Luke gave him one in return. “You too, Master Vos!”

The kiffar just smiled at him before glancing curiously at Ben. “Not your padawan, huh?” Ben shot him a scowl, but Luke could feel the overwhelming happinessrelieflovethankyouin the air, directed towards the newcomer. Master Vos’s expression softened into something of an entertained and pleased smirk.

Those two had been friends, Luke knew it.

The realization kind of hit him like a sandstorm because if this person, Ben’s friend, named Vos, probably a jedi.... Luke’s eyes became saucers as he whipped around to stare at the newcomer. “Wait…are you…you’re Quinlan Vos?”

Master Vos laughed out loud and tried not to attract any attention. “Gotta be careful with the name, kiddo. That stuff can be dangerous in this galaxy. But, uh, you know of me?” “Of course!” Luke nearly cried, grinning madly. “Ben has told me all about his friends. We have a lot of time to spare so we have to fill that with something to do and Ben tells all the greatest stories! He can even get your voice down pretty good.”

The bust of laughter than came out of Master Vos made Luke’s heart swell and Ben look rather thoroughly embarrassed. “Oh man, I think I might love this kid. This…this is a good one, Obes, oh wow.”

Luke felt himself shine up brightly. This was amazing. This was -. “Luke,” Ben warned, putting a hand on his shoulder gently, ushering Luke out of his thoughts. “Be mindful of your feelings and your surroundings.”

Blushing with a bit of mortification, Luke wrapped his shields, trying to button them up tighter. “Sorry, Ben.”

Ben just nodded. “Why don’t you grab some desert for yourself and Vos,” he suggested, calmly, patting his shoulder lightly. “I think he could use a…pick me up.”

The blonde perked and nodded, eagerly. Dinner and desert? And they had gotten through with a long lightsaber practice and Ben was really ready to talk about getting a droid? And he got to meet another jedi?

This had to be the best day ever, even with his mistake.

Luke was off like a shot once Ben had handed over some money, leaving the two alone. It hadn’t taken long, although Luke tried to find an amazing place with some of the best deserts. He didn’t have a lot of experience when it came to the sweet things, especially choosing them, as they often didn’t have enough for such treats. But Luke had long heard of the incredible feel and flavor of ice cream. Ben had explained where it came from once, which Luke found only a bit odd but then again, it wasn’t that much different from Bantha milk, just kind of frozen. After finding a place that sold it, he got as much as he could, and the owner was kind enough to put it in a cooler for his travels. Luke couldn’t imagine he had gotten too far from where Ben and Master Vos were, but Ben always told him it was best to be prepared.

He slowed down as he neared their table again. They had moved even further from the other patrons, virtually out of sight. Luke hadn’t known what possessed him, perhaps it was the words he had caught before they could notice him, but he had stopped and hid behind the corner, listening in. He felt bad, he knew it was rude, but he didn’t really want to interrupt such an intense conversation either.

“This is Dooku’s assassination all over again,” Ben hissed under his breath. “You remember what happened last time? You tried to go after him, and you ended up falling to the dark side.”

“I know, I know,” Master Vos shook his head. “It’s a stupid idea. I just…I know what they say about what happened at the Temple. What really happened. Not that bull the propaganda and the government, and the Empire are spewing.”

“You’ve talked with Dex,” Ben murmured.

“Of course, I talked with Dex,” Master Vos replied, spinning one of his dreadlocks in his fingers. “He’s a friend to the Jedi, always has been. He helped a couple escape Coruscant. He knows Vader led the clones on the Temple.”

“The clones were brainwashed,” Ben muttered, near absentmindedly. “Luke and I came across a couple. Kix, almost seven years ago in a stasis pod on a droid ship. Cody and Boil, just a few years ago on Vader’s ship. We…we helped them. Or tried to.”

Quinlan’s shoulders sagged. “The Jedi dead and the clones brainwashed. It seems sometimes like we were the only ones who gave a damn about the galaxy and what did we all get? Genocide and slavery,” he shook his head and Luke could feel the anger seeping off of him. “I just…I thought if I could at least get Darth Vader out of the way, that would help just a bit. One less powerful force user for the galaxy.”

Ben frowned and shook his head. “That isn’t a good idea, Quin. He is much too powerful for you, much too powerful for either of us.”

Master Vos eyed Ben, carefully. “You know who he is,” he realized.

Luke’s breath caught in his throat. Ben didn’t say anything.

“Obes, who is he?” Master Vos quietly demanded. “If I know who he is, I can at least-.”

“At least what?” Ben snapped, just as hushed. “You’ll only get yourself killed or worse, Quin. There are barely any of us left, why would you want to throw yourself away like that?”

“Obi-Wan,” Quinlan assured, putting his gloved hand over Ben’s. Ben looked at it, a little startled. “He massacred the Temple, he brainwashed the clones, the clones that we loved and trusted, the ones that… the ones Aalya loved and trusted. Don’t you think we deserve to know at least who was behind it?”

Ben just looked pained. “You will only find anger and fury, Quin. The Emperor is the one behind this, Palpatine. He is the one to blame. He is the one who created the war, who created and brainwashed the clones. Blame him.”

“Yeah, I know that,” Vos even looked like he believed it. “Palpatine is top dog, he is the one to blame for everything,” Master Vos agreed, sincerely. “And…I know what it is like to be tortured and manipulated into the dark side. I’m not…disputing that. I wouldn’t even be surprised if Vader had been manipulated into it,” he offered. “I’m sorry, I just…I need to know.”

Neither Ben nor Luke realized what Master Vos was doing until it was too late. Master Vos’s other hand, the one that was suddenly not gloved had reached towards Ben’s lightsaber on his waist, just barely brushing against it with his skin.

A lot of things had happened at once.

Master Vos had frozen, his eyes glazed over and after an incredibly long moment, he fell over from the table with a small thud. They were out of the way from the other patrons, but Ben cursed under his breath – Mando’a maybe? – and dragged Master Vos further out of sight.

He let out another string of curses Luke didn’t recognize and laid Master Vos out on the ground “You idiot,” he hissed. “You know better than that. A lightsaber, of all things.”

Time and space seemed to stop and go completely silent. Luke was frozen in his spot, staring wide-eyed as Ben checked Master Vos’s pulse. He apparently hadn’t found what he was looking for and Ben started chest compressions, talking to the kiffar in a language Luke didn’t understand. Or maybe Luke just couldn’t hear it right, he couldn’t be sure. Nothing felt right.

It seemed like forever before Ben stopped completely and sat back. Luke didn’t hear anything at first but then the sound of Master Vos’s coughs reached his ears. Time started to move again. Space and sounded started to be able to be heard once more. Whatever had happened, Luke didn’t know what to make of it.

“You idiot,” Ben growled again but he helped Master Vos up to a sitting position and leaned him against the wall. Master Vos learned to breathe again.

He looked straight at Ben. Luke couldn’t see his eyes, but his posture was stiff and some terrible and sad feelings were emanating off of him. “Does Luke know his father turned into one of the galaxy’s worst genocidal maniacs?”

Luke forgot to breathe, and his brain just didn’t understand.

Ben swallowed. “What am I supposed to tell him Quin? That his father, my brother, is acting as a monster and has become a killer? That Anakin Skywalker – Darth Vader – is trying to kill him, that someday, we might have to kill him instead?”

Luke doesn’t hear anything after that. His hand indistinctively clutches the case of ice cream, and his mind goes blank. There is only thing he understands.

Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader.

Anakin Skywalker is Luke’s father.

Darth Vader is Luke’s father.

Luke’s father is trying to kill him and Ben.

He can’t breathe and suddenly, he found himself moving. He couldn’t stay there; he didn’t know what to do, what to say. His mind went so blank, and his feet were moving. They kept moving and moving, objects and places became blurs. Buildings meshed together; people became little blobs. The city became a mix of browns and greens, and things were crunching under his feet. He was in the woods, his brain barely realized.

Luke didn’t know where he stopped or how much time had passed since he had started running. All he knew was that his entire body was burning, his legs felt like they were going to just vaporize at any moment and his lungs just could not get any oxygen at all. They just burned.

Gasping for air, the teenager felt to the ground, his palms scrapping on fallen twigs and pebbles, his knees hitting hard. He had no idea where he was, and it didn’t really matter at the moment. Mind racing with everything and nothing at all, Luke leaned against a large tree in front of him, his hair tangling in parts of the bark and lightly sticky with sap. How…. how…

After some time, Luke finally managed to turn himself around, sitting against the trunk of the tree, trying so desperately to get control of his breathing. He just… he just couldn’t seem to get in air. Why couldn’t he breathe? Why couldn’t he breathe?

Anakin Skywalker is his father.

Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader.

Darth Vader…. Darth Vader is his father.

Oh Force, Darth Vader is his father.

One of the worst people in the entire galaxy was his father. The father than Ben told fond stories of. The father that was Ben’s brother, his best friend. The father who was a jedi, the ancient enemy of the Sith.

Which meant Ben lied.

Ben had never lied to him before.

Had he?

Luke had finally got a hold of his breathing, but it was still shallow and quick. He reached up, his fingers dashing against the skin on his face. They came back more than damp. He was crying. His whole face was quickly becoming blotchy and red, tears in a constant stream down his cheeks.

Darth Vader was Anakin Skywalker. Darth Vader was his father.

Luke let out a loud, choking sob, trying to swallow down any breath he could. Ben lied to him. His father wasn’t dead. It was worse, it was so much worse. Why had he lied? Did he not think he could handle it? Did Ben think that Luke would just gooff on his own? Did he think that Luke would leave him just because his father was alive? His father may be alive, but he was a monster and tried to kill the bothof them several times. He just…didn’t understand.

“Luke?” a voice echoed through the trees. The boy couldn’t see a thing through the tears and the choking sobs coupled with the whistle of the wind through the leaves and trees made it hard to hear, made everything muffled.

“Ben?” It was a shot in the dark, it could have been anyone and honestly Luke didn’t know if he really wanted to talk with Ben right now, he didn’t think he wanted Ben to see him like this but yet he still…he wanted Ben.

“Luke?” the voice shouted louder. “Luke? Luke?!”

The teenager just let out another choked sob, but a presence brushed up against his mind. And then, soon after, against his side.

“Goodness, Luke!” the voice was close now, right next to him. It sounded like Ben. Oh, he hoped it was Ben.

“It’s me, beacon,” the voice whispered, like an answered prayer. “It’s me, it’s Ben.” Relief flooded him and everything around him like nothing before and Luke blindly threw himself towards the voice. He hit something firm but soft and arms snaked around his torso tightly. “Goodness, Luke. You’ve been gone for hours. What happened?”

Luke just sobbed into his chest. How could he possibly explain to Ben what was happening? How did one tell their guardian that they knew they have been lying to them for years about something so prominent? Ben had told Luke all of the bestthings about his father. He told him that he was actually like his father. Did that mean Ben thought Luke was like Vader? Did he think that Luke would turn into a Sith, like his father before him?

He never would.

“I was just…” the words tumbled out of his mouth before Luke could really think about what to say and process them. “I was just feeling so much. I couldn’t…. I’m so sorry.”

“Ssshhhh,” Ben hushed, tucking his nose into Luke’s hair. “It’s alright. But if you are feeling too much, you need to find me. I can help you; I promise.”

He didn’t think that Ben could help with this, but he just nodded against the old soft robes that Ben had on, even trying to burrow within them like he used when he was small and a child. “I know, I’m sorry Ben. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, it’s alright, hope,” Ben murmured. “It’s alright.”

Present past

“Master Vos.”

Anakin’s greeting was mostly out of necessity and perceived respected than anything else. Quinlan knew this. Generally, the two of them got along fairly fine, at least for the most part. They used to get along better, when the young man was younger. Anakin tolerated Obi-Wan having friends, as long as he made it appear he would prefer Anakin’s company over theirs. Anakin liked to fancy himself as Obi-Wan’s family and to Hell with everyone else. Quinlan did admire the boy’s protectiveness, to an extent, as people had a habit of not being like that with Obi-Wan. But everyone had at least some idea that Anakin’s possessiveness was rather unhealthy.

It was difficult for anyone to try and make Anakin get help during a war.

Anakin thought he knew Obi-Wan best. It was a joke, really but vaguely amusing. Compared to a few others, Anakin barely knew Obi-Wan at all.

“Anakin Skywalker,” Quinlan plastered on a grin. He almost missed the days where Anakin’s protectiveness was cute and innocent, when he was a kid and he thought Obi-Wan was just amazing. He was, of course, but sometimes it seemed Anakin did a one-eighty on how he thought of his old master. Although still protective, it was far too much, and he often seemed to accuse the older man of all sorts of things. Quinlan wondered if Anakin was ever truly happy with his former master. Sometimes, it was not easy to tell. “Good to see you, wish it was under better circumstances,” he snickered.

The knight just hummed, uncharacteristically quiet. Things must be really dire if Skywalker didn’t have some kind of snarky comeback, especially for Quinlan. Instead, he turned briefly towards the crew. “Admiral, please bring us back to hyperspace. We need to assist General Tiin and General Krell.”

“Of course, General Skywalker.”

Anakin turned back towards Quinlan, but the latter was the one to speak up. “How bout we head down to the Medical Bay,” he suggested vaguely. “We have a moment before we get to the Umbara system.”

Mutely, the young General nodded and turned on his heel, off the bridge. Quinlan quickly followed. It was silence for several moments before Quinlan just couldn’t take it anymore and started a conversation. They should have probably talked anyways. “Alright, I know the bare basics,” Quinlan started, numbering things off on his fingers. “Obes is in a coma, not entirely sure why and he’s being stalked by a teenager?” Anakin nearly rolled his eyes and Quinlan couldn’t quite tell if he was amused or not. “Luke,” he answered. “Interesting kid, I guess. Won’t leave Obi-Wan’s side. He’s…claiming to be a time traveler.”

Quinlan paused and blinked, right, he forgot about that. Or did he? Did Master Windu mention that? Sometimes it seemed difficult to keep track of all the weird things that were happening during the course of this war. “Ah…that is a new one. Thought this would be more of an easier thing, like uh, drugs or psychosis or ghosts.”

“Helix looked him over and tested for drugs, nothing.”

“Crazy?”

“No unusual brain activity.”

“Ghosts then, perhaps,” Quinlan suggested. Ghosts were easy.

Anakin just shot him an unimpressed stare.

Okay so probably no ghosts then. “Alright, alright. Geez. Someone is serious today.”

“My master is in an unexplainable coma,” Anakin replied, pointedly, frustration leaking into his tone like sieve.

“Anakin,” Quinlan’s voice turned oddly soft as he stopped in the hall, turning to put a hand on the boy’s shoulder. Sometimes it was hard to see just how young Anakin was. He really should still be a padawan. Obi-Wan had always been so proud of Anakin as the day was long but even, he agreed the boy wasn’t really ready to be a knight. He lacked a lot of control and patience something that, if the boy just listened once in a while, he could learn. Obi-Wan was a good teacher with that. He was a good teacher in general, Quinlan thought. But it is hard to teach someone who thinks they already know everything best and doesn’t want to learn. Quinlan had been so incredibly lucky with Aalya. “Obi-Wan is going to be just fine. He has been through far worse.”

Anakin sighed, a little tension seeping from his shoulders as he looked away, Quinlan’s hand fell from his shoulder. “I’m dead in the future, Obi-Wan isn’t with the Jedi and on the run and apparently his grief is so bad it-,” he drifted off from his miniature ramble, shaking his head and the thought. He talked about it like it was unbelievable. “I’m…worried the Obi-Wan that wakes up won’t be the same one that I know.”

“He might not be,” it was a confession Quinlan didn’t like making. But people didn’t stay the same over time. Obi-Wan of this time wasn’t the same Obi-Wan Quinlan had grown up with. They were still friends, of course, but it was different. People changed. Kids changed. Times changed. Quinlan knew for sure that Anakin’s death would certainly change Obi-Wan drastically. They didn’t talk about it, Quinlan and Obi-Wan didn’t particularly care to talk about death with one another, especially their own, unless it was a quick, morbid joke, but Quinlan knew that Obi-Wan always thought he would die first. He wanted to die first, and he didn’t want to die alone. It was something that had scared Obi-Wan for a long time, probably still did. He would have nightmares – or visions, Quinlan thought – of being alone in a wasteland. It was a horrible thing to see, he imagined. “But one thing is for sure,” Quinlan continued, confidently. “He is going to be happy to see you. Obi-Wan loves you so much and if what this Luke said is true, he is going to be so grateful you are alive again,” he pointed out.

Anakin shifted uncomfortably. He was letting more feelings out, getting a little more comfortable with Quinlan’s presence. Quinlan didn’t know if the boy had even realized what was happening. Had it been so long since Anakin had been comfortable in others’ presences? Obi-Wan had always been so worried about Anakin, perhaps…. perhaps Quinlan could do something to help. “I…just want him to wake up,” Anakin confessed.

“He will,” Quinlan promised. He didn’t like make promises, especially not like that, but even he had to believe it. “And then he’s going to get so many hugs he will literally get sick off of them.”

Anakin laughed.

They walked again, this time in more comfortable silence. Apparently, it didn’t sit well with Anakin, as he continued to ask another question. “Do you…think you can tell if he is telling the truth? Luke? About the time travel?” Anakin inquired.

“Probably,” Quinlan shrugged as he passed a couple of troopers. They barely gave him a glance before quickly moving out of the way.

“Do you think you can help Obi-Wan? Wake him up?”

Quinlan caught his eyes. He hated how he kept being reminded of how young he is. He’s terrified, although Anakin had gotten pretty good at not showing it. To an extent, Quinlan can understand. He and Obi-Wan hadn’t been around each other in a while, especially with the differences in careers but they couldn’t stop being friends. It reminded him of their teenage years, getting into trouble, talking about the future and what they would do in service of the galaxy and the Order. He missed that.

Obi-Wan would do almost anything to help Quinlan’s former padawan, Quinlan could at least attempt to return the favor.

“Uh…less probably,” he confessed. He continued, trying to make things sound a bit less depressing. “It hasn’t even been a day, Skywalker,” he pointed out. “He’s been in a bacta tank longer than that.”

“At least when he was in a bacta tank, we knew what was wrong with him and how to fix it,” Anakin scowled, looking away.

“If nothing else, he could use a break, do you disagree?”

“Of course, not but…ugh…. this is really messed up. I just want him to wake up.”

“We all do, Skywalker. I’m sure even the kid wants him too.”

Anakin’s expression turned a little dark but in a way that was confused. Quinlan could imagine; this whole situation was rather confusing, most of all the kid.

“Something on your mind?” Quinlan inquired slowly.

“Just…something Luke said,” Anakin finally professed, his eyebrows furrowing in thought. “He claims to know Obi-Wan really well, know him for years in fact. We…we had this conversation about love.”

Okay, this was not really where Quinlan expected the discussion to be going. “What about love?” he asked, cautiously.

“He said Obi-Wan shows that he loves people with…acts, rather than just saying it,” Anakin pointed out, just was wary. Oh, that was a lot easier.

Quinlan nodded in agreement. “That’s true.”

Anakin glanced at him, surprised. “It is?”

Okay so maybe not that easy. Did Anakin not really know this? “Oh yeah, for sure,” Quinlan continued to nod. “When it comes to caring about people, Obes’ communicative skills have differed over the years. Pretty sure he got it from Jinn, really.”

“He did?”

“Right,” Quinlan shook his head, his dreadlocks falling over his shoulders. “I keep forgetting you didn’t know Qui-Gon.” Anakin made a bit of an offended noise, but Quinlan didn’t give him time to respond. “Jinn didn’t really tell anyone that he cared,” Quinlan started carefully. It was an understatement really, he rarely explained everything, rather just kind of throwing it all out into situations to figure things out. “It drove Obi-Wan crazy for a while. He never seemed to know if Jinn was happy with what he did or proud or loved him. Jinn and verbal communication just…did go hand in hand,” Quinlan shrugged. It had bugged him for years, sometimes it still did. It was easier to see, looking back on it, that at least Jinn cared some. “So, Obi-Wan just tried to be, well, perfect. He eventually did learn to speak Jinn’s not-really-communicative language and then, I think things were easier.”

“I never knew that,” Anakin murmured.

“Jinn is a bit of a tough subject sometimes,” Quinlan shrugged. “Not just with you, with most people really. I only know because he was practically my best friend during our padawanship. We spent a lot of time together.”

“So, was Qui-Gon like Obi-Wan? Luke said Obi-Wan shows love through acts of service, like doing small things for the people he cares about, like somehow those types of actions tell others that he…cares about them. Was Qui-Gon like that too?”

“Ah, not so much, I don’t think,” Quinlan winced. He never completely understood how Obi-Wan figured out that Jinn cared about him. “Honestly, I’m not really the best person to talk about the specifics. If Obes won’t say specifically, you’ll more likely to find out from Siri or Bant, he talked about those types of things with them,” he shrugged.

Anakin looked a little disappointed.

“People…express love in different ways,” Quinlan tried. This was not his wheelhouse, his chest told him to abort. “Like, uh… do you remember kitchen duties when you were a padawan?”

The wrinkles that appeared around Anakin’s nose were a good indication he did. “Yeah.”

“Well, I always volunteered for dishwashing duty,” Quinlan started. Please let this work.

“Why would you do that?”

“I liked feeling the plates and bowls, feeling what the person who used them was feeling, what they had gone through, the imprints they left behind,” he explained, steadily. It was a warm memory he didn’t mind sharing.

“Psychometry, yeah, okay.”

“The others hated it, Garen detested it with a passion, the entitled brat, and Luminara would just wrinkle her nose all funny-like at the hot water, she didn’t like her hands getting all pruny,” Quinlan explained with a bit of a smile, a fond expression at the memory. “But Obi-Wan…Obi-Wan was always there for dishwashing duty with me. I would volunteer, he would come, and we would stand side by side, washing dishes without gloves and he would listen to the stories I would tell, gathered from the silverware and bowls. It was a small thing, but Obi-Wan didn’t have to tell me that he cared, he showed it. That’s just how he does things. I’ve never really doubted how much he cared.”

This seemed to really make Anakin think harder. Quinlan just hoped he got his point across, that it was understandable. How Obi-Wan had actually taught this kid, he wasn’t entirely sure.

“I can’t say that I completely understand,” Anakin finally replied, a bit hesitant but not entirely closed off and stubborn. “I don’t really understand why he can’t just sayit,” he admitted. “But I guess, people do learn things and pick habits up from their teachers, it makes a little sense that he would do things similar to Qui-Gon.”

That…wasn’t really what Quinlan’s point was but it was a step in the right direction, he supposed. It was better than Anakin thinking Obi-Wan didn’t much love him just because he didn’t wear his heart out in the open.

Thankfully, they got to the medical bay hall and quickly up to the door that led to the room Obi-Wan was staying in. Anakin stopped. “Aren’t you coming in?” he asked, vaguely curious.

“The boy, Luke, doesn’t trust me much…” Anakin said with a bit of a lip curl. “As much as I am loathed to admit it, he might open up to you more if I’m not around. Besides, someone has to lead the reinforcements and try to help Cody with a plan for Umbara. It won’t be long until we reach the system and it…would be better to have a plan immediately.”

“Good thinking,” Quinlan replied, trying to sound easy.

When Quinlan entered the room, it was empty. He didn’t see any child lounging around or standing near Obi-Wan, but he did see Obi-Wan himself. He laid on the cot in front of him, a machine beeping slowly to indicate that he was alive and breathing decently. He was quiet and still, and Quinlan fell back on horrible moments in the years before, when he had seen his friend like this. He wasn’t half dead, Quinlan reminded himself.

Quinlan reached out, ready to brush his hand over the saber on the table. He wasn’t sure if he was brave enough to go to the source, perhaps the light saber would reveal enough. So many questions could be answered.

“I would be careful about doing that,” a young voice called out warily.

Quinlan jumped nearly feet in the air and twirled around, trying not to appear too ruffled. “Sneaky little kid, aren’t you?” he tried to joke. The boy was blonde, the kind of bright sunshiny color that Obi-Wan’s padawan used to have when he had just come to the Temple. His eyes were blue, narrowed a little in a mix of vague amusement and suspicion. It was an odd look. He had on some dark pants and a jacket where the collar sprung up around his neck. It reminded Quinlan a bit of how high Obi-Wan would make his robes, all neat around his neck and shoulders.

Luke maintained that peculiar amusement and wary expression. “I just used the lavatory.”

“Obes and his fancy words,” Quinlan muttered to himself, with a small smile. Obi-Wan, being such a diplomat and negotiator, had picked up more than a few phrases Quinlan had always thought of as fancy. If what was believed was true, that his friend had raised this boy, it wasn’t completely out of the question certain words would be picked up. Louder, he continued, trying to keep an easy smile, but it was rather broken. “Why not?”

“I’m not saying don’t,” Luke replied, with certain emphasis. “You obviously need to be convinced but be careful,” He looked like someone who knew exactly what he was talking about, specifically with Quinlan himself. Quinlan knew he hadn’t met him before but then again, if Luke was right and he was from the future, perhaps it just hadn’t happened yet. “You barely touched Ben’s lightsaber last time and your heart stopped,” he explained, calmly.

Quinlan swallowed. He hadn’t had a reaction like that in a long time, since before he mastered his psychometry. Even with the war going on, nothing he had done or touched had nearly killed him. Things must be pretty bad in the future for that to happen.

Did he believe him?

“You must be Luke,” he said instead.

“That’s me, Master Vos,” Luke nodded with a polite smile. “I would act really excited to see you again but your suspicion is rather poignant and so I will leave that until we can get better…reacquainted.”

Quinlan nearly wanted to laugh or cry or something. This sounded hilarious and ridiculous at the same time. This entire situation was certainly something else. He couldn’t wait for Obi-Wan to wake up, only to ask where had he found this boy? “Do you want to tell me who you are or would you rather me guess?” he asked.

“You did pretty well the first time I met you,” Luke paused with an amused smile but then shrugged, as if it didn’t matter than much. Quinlan had a feeling it mattered more than he was letting on. “Skywalker.”

That…both made a lot of sense and no sense at all. “You do look like him when he was very young,” Quinlan confessed, nearly choking on air. Another Skywalker, of course it was another Skywalker. Poor Obi-Wan couldn’t get away from them, could he? Quinlan was rather unsurprised. If Anakin was dead and had a child, it would make sense that Obi-Wan would look over and protect the boy, if nothing else. Even if it was out of obligation. Obi-Wan knew plenty about that. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. Hopefully Quinlan could get some responses. “You give Obi-Wan a lot of Hell too?”

“I try not to, he’s had enough,” Luke replied, softening his voice.

“We can agree on that.”

“Touching me for psychometry won’t yield as many answers, I think,” Luke continued, calmly. “But I have a lot less baggage.” That did not fill Quinlan with any confidence.

“You’re still young.”

Luke’s nose wrinkled as he studied the older master. “I thought you were funnier.”

“What do you mean?”

“When Ben talked about you, he made you out to be funny.”

Quinlan’s heart stuttered a little bit. Did they continue to be friends? They had been a bit distant as of late. Quinlan had been meaning to rectify that, but everyone was so busy during the war, most of all Obi-Wan. He always tried to justify things that his friend was much too busy to be bothered by Quinlan trying to reconnect more. Was he dead in the future? But then again, Luke had said they had met before. He really needed some answers if he was going to be able to make choices moving forward. “Oh, I’m hilarious. A tad surprised, however, that Obi-Wan would tell you that,” he chuckled lightly. “He likes to act as if I’m not comical at all. Let’s just say I’m a bit suspicious… and worried about my friend.”

Luke’s gaze tempered into something Quinlan felt a little less concerned about. “I’m worried too,” he admitted, jumping up to sit on a nearby cot. “That he’ll wake up of this time and not know of me or the future. Or that he will have come back from the future, only to watch everything get destroyed again because I karked up.”

“Did you kark up?” Quinlan asked. He found that unlikely, as Luke had only been here for several hours, not even a full day.

“Not yet,” he tried but didn’t look completely certain. “I don’t think so. I hope I didn’t. Hope I won’t.”

“Well,” Quinlan shrugged and sat next to him. “I’m here to help. Whatever happens, whether Obi-Wan wakes up and remembers you or not, I will help you.”

Luke’s glance at him looked both slightly skeptical but mostly relieved and reassured. “I didn’t think you believed me yet.”

Quinlan didn’t realize he had believed him either. He shrugged, trying to play it off. “I don’t think you are crazy. I don’t get that feeling from you.”

With a brief pause, Luke hopped down from the cot and picked up Obi-Wan’s robe, which was lying over some unused medical equipment. He brought it over and got back up on the cot before holding it out. “You might want to start with this. The last time you touched Ben’s lightsaber, your heart stopped. I think…this might be better to begin with.”

He tugged off one of his gloves. “You said you have less baggage; would you mind me starting with you?”

The surprised look on the boy’s face smoothed into something calm and content. “Sure. I don’t mind. Just…maybe try not to kill anyone afterwards?”

Quinlan didn’t know what that meant but put a hand on Luke’s bare arm. He didn’t know how much time had passed when he came back.

“Oh,” he muttered flatly. “Now I understand why you told me to try not and kill anyone,” he grumbled as he pulled back. “Skywalker…he…wow.”

Luke glanced away. “Yeah, I didn’t take it too well the first time either. And I don’t know if we can save him or anything, but he hasn’t done it yet, at least not for you or the others. I would like to save him or try too at least. I’d like to know if the person Ben told him, he was existed or if Ben was just trying to conjure happy memories.”

“That beast…he’s Skywalker,” Quinlan shook his head. “Anakin told me that Obi-Wan’s grief was apparently great, but I didn’t realize… it probably would have been better if Skywalker had died.”

“Ben told me that,” Luke replied. “He told me that my father had died. I found out by accident, but I’m not sure if he was still in Vader somewhere or if Vader actually had killed Anakin Skywalker and just became someone else.”

Quinlan nodded. “I won’t kill him, for now. But one wrong move… I won’t let Obi-Wan go through that again.”

“It gets worse,” Luke confessed, clearly not wanting to admit what he was about to say. “I didn’t know it at the time, as when Ben talked about Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader, he talked about them like they were two different people. Vader had marched on the Jedi Temple.”

He didn’t know his heart could sink any further than this. Luke didn’t explain his statement, but the implication was pretty easy to interpret. Obi-Wan and Luke had been on the run, not with the Jedi. It was hard to be with the Jedi when there was no more Jedi.

The string of curses that came out of his mouth were impressive, Luke clearly didn’t understand all of them. Out of all the things Quinlan had guessed, this had not even sort of made the list. It was unimaginable. He couldn’t even wrap his head around such a thing. But Luke’s next question caught Quinlan so off guard, he nearly fell off the cot he was sitting on.

“Have you gone on your mission to assassinate Dooku yet?” Luke asked, abruptly.

Quinlan twisted his head around and stared at him, more confused than he had been in a long time. Assassination? “What?” he scoffed. “No! What? Why…no! No, I haven’t been sent to assassinate the leader of the Separatists. I don’t even know if I could.”

Luke sighed in relief and took Quinlan’s hands, careful not to make skin contact. He stared straight into his eyes, wholly and completely serious. “Do not to do it,” he ordered. If nothing else, Quinlan felt the need to listen to him. The Force whispered nonsensical things in his ear, not quite distracting, but rather highlighting what Luke was telling him. “Do not go anywhere near him, no matter how close you think you can get. It does not end well. Do you understand?”

Quinlan didn’t even realize words came out at first. “Does he kill me?”

Luke shook his head vehemently. “No. Worse.”

There was really only one thing that could be worse, and Quinlan felt nearly sick. “Oh,” he exhaled out. “That is…not good. Did…did you see that? Or did Obi-Wan tell you? Do you know what happened?”

“You and Ben talked about it when I first met you,” he said. “I didn’t understand a lot of it, but you clearly didn’t stay in the Dark Side-.”

“I came back?” his voice sounded more like an echo.

“I think so,” Luke shrugged. “He was really happy to see you before. I think you liked me too, but it was hard to tell, we didn’t get a lot of time together.”

Before Quinlan could continue the conversation, his commlink beeped. As he answered, a communications officer spoke up through. “General, sir. We will be approaching the Umbara System within minutes. Your presence is requested on the bridge.”

“Copy that,” Quinlan responded before turning it off. “I probably will have a lot more questions but right now, that will have to wait.”

Luke nodded. “A battle?”

“Uh yes…we got detoured. We are hoping it won’t be too long. They just need a little backup. Look,” Quinlan pressed. “We are about go into battle,” he started slowly. “And I need to help Commander Cody. So, I need you to stay with Obi-Wan. If something happens and we need to evacuate, either I will send someone or come myself to get you.”

“I won’t be a problem,” Luke promised innocently.

Quinlan shot him a wary stare. “Stay. Here. Yeah.”

Luke just smiled and nodded.

***

Luke waited less than ten minutes before he moved. He tightened up his clothes so nothing would be flapping in the wind, retied up his boots and took off the cloak, setting it near Ben’s bed. “I’m really sorry, Ben. I know I said I wouldn’t leave you…but I’m pretty sure they’re going to need me out there and I think it would be best for me to help. I will make you proud,” he insisted, curling his hands over Ben’s saber. “You aren’t here and awake to protect your men this time around so it is up to me. Hope you don’t mind me borrowing this. Please, please wake up soon.”

He didn’t wait any longer and ran out of the medical bay, for the first time, leaving Ben behind.

Finding a hiding spot on the gunship was…. not easy. And Luke was quickly discovered. He had gathered a few things, a set of armor, a blaster and tried to blend in. Luckily for him, they were in a hurry and already making their way down to the surface and so by the time he was noticed, it was far too late.

“And just what do you think you’re doing?”

Even though every one of the clones technically sounded the same, Luke just knew it was Waxer who had discovered him. Luke had thought he was doing a fairly good job hiding. But then again, Waxer probably knew his men pretty well. He didn’t ask how he knew but Luke took off the helmet, his eyes darkening into something gleaning with determination and confidence. “I’m coming with you,” he declared.

“You’re a little short for a clone trooper, kid,” Waxer answered his unasked question. Luke could completely see Waxer and Boil as friends, even if it wasn’t completely obvious to a lot of others. “And you are not doing anything.”

“Yes, I am,” he insisted.

“I know for a fact you are supposed to be in the medical bay by General Kenobi’s side,” Waxer pointed out, shaking his head. “Look, kiddo. We love you but you have no idea what you are getting yourself into.”

Luke’s unimpressed look ended up being, well, rather impressive. “I’ve been on the run since I was eight,” he shot back, emphatically. “Chased by an Empire with tons of soldiers trying to kill me. In droves. You know what they say about experience.”

Even Luke knew he was being cheeky.

“You have nothing to prove, kid,” Waxer offered, his voice suddenly serious and quiet. It was a bit of whiplash for Luke but his shoulders hardened and he abruptly became unable to meet Waxer’s eyes.

“Contrary,” Luke’s voice was even quieter, to the point that Waxer was probably the only one who could currently hear him. “I have everything to prove.”

Waxer just sighed and shook his head.

Before he could speak, Luke looked up at him, eyes narrowed and determined. This was a bit more personal, he supposed. “Boil won’t lose you again, not if I can help it.”

Waxer’s eyes tempered into something sympathetic and kind once he had gotten over his brief glance of surprise. He realized that he must have been dead in the future, especially if he wasn’t with Boil. Luke seemed to know him pretty well, which meant his brother talked about him. Waxer had no idea how he would work without Boil, it seemed unimaginable. He always thought they would die together. He did even have an inkling on how Boil would act if Waxer had gone marching on without him. “Kid, soldiers die in war. It’s a fact,” Waxer said, calmly. “You can’t stop me from dying.”

“No,” he agreed, but his fists curled up into one another. “But I can lessen the odds and help protect you. Please, Waxer, let me do this. I won’t slow you down. I won’t get in your war. Nothing has to change with your plans. You don’t have to worry about me.”

Waxer sighed and ruffled his hair, affectionately, shaking his head. He obviously didn’t like this, and he certainly thought there would be consequences but there was little he could do now. “Too late, kiddo.”

“Do you have a weapon?”

Luke brandished the hilt of Ben’s lightsaber with a smirk. “I know how to use this.”

“I have no doubt,” Waxer replied. “General Kenobi does this style called Soresu. It’s apparently-.”

“The ultimate defense form,” Luke finished with a smirk. Waxer must talk about Jedi things with Ben. It was nice that some of the men were interested in that sort of thing. Ben loved to teach. “I’m aware. And quite adequate. I will try to keep with that style as much as I can. I promise I won’t get in the way.”

“Sir!” one of the other soldiers called out, apprehensively. “This is…highly against protocol,” he choked out.

Waxer just shook his head. He wasn’t going to get rid of Luke. Even if he physically could, the boy would never leave them alone. And now they were well on their way down to the surface. “As far as I’m concerned, Luke here is General Kenobi’s new padawan which makes him your commander,” he pointed out.

“I won’t make any choices,” he vowed, looking around at the whole squad. “I’m just here to help, an extra body. You don’t have to protect me or anything.”

The clones glanced at each other, uncertainly.

“I’m just here to make sure as many of you come out of this alive as I can. Ben isn’t awake this time around to help so it is up to me.”

He didn’t tell him the other reason. Boil had never told him specifically what planet or campaign that Waxer had been on when he had died but Luke had a few clues. One. It was a dark and gloomy planet. Check. Luke had looked it up on a terminal. There were few planets darker or gloomier or grosser. Two. There was a traitor general. Possibly, General Krell was the only general on the ground as of currently, so he would be the main suspect if this was it. Luke hadn’t been able to do much research about him but he definitely got an uneasy feeling about this. Three. There was an act of friendly fire. Part of the 501stwas down there and part of the 212th as well. They were coming from different directions. With the natural darkness of the planet and no large amount of deception or confusion necessary, it could easily turn into a case of friendly fire.

Luke didn’t know if this was the planet where Waxer died the first time. But he knew somethingbad was going to happen here. The Force was practically blaring like a megaphone. Luke would do his part.

“Do you mind if I keep some of the armor?” Luke asked.

They all just stared at him.

“Uh yeah,” Waxer choked out. “Of course.” Then he paused and realized what Luke had said. “Wait. Some?”

Immediately, Luke took off a few of the pieces. He hadn’t planned on keeping all of them, they would hinder his movements significantly, but he kept the greaves, vambraces and pauldrons. They could only watch as he set the extra pieces in the corners.

“Not gonna wear all of it?” one of the troopers asked.

“Can’t move easy,” Luke shrugged. “It was a disguise.”

Waxer just shook his head with a vaguely amused smile. “You Jedi.”

The gunship rocked as an explosion went off near enough that the pilot had to swerve, and the sound blasted through his ears. Waxer and another trooper tried to shelter him as best they could, protectiveness and care emanating from them in strong waves.

“Please wake up,” Luke whispered quietly into the air, as they got closer and closer to the planet’s surface. He was nearly inaudible, no one could hear him, but he wasn’t talking to the troopers. It was some kind of prayer to the Force, something, anything, to beg it for assistance. For him. For Ben. “Please wake up, Ben. I could really use you soon. I can’t do this alone.”

[mcklunkers]

Star Wars Hockey Team headcanons!

-Eli Vanto is a Dallas Stars fan. Thrawn supports an EIHL team (maybe Coventry Blaze cos they’re blue?) mostly because he wasn’t born in the empire so he’d probably support a different league. BUT the first Stanley Cup he watched was 2020’s and he put money on Tampa Bay Lightning because he’s got godly betting abilities. Also it annoyed Eli when they won and he found that funny.

-The Ghost Crew are all Philadelphia Flyers fans. Kanan was a die hard fan forever, Hera likes them cos Kanan does. The rest are there for Gritty.

-Most 501st Clones were Toronto Maple Leaf fans cos they were super good until they weren’t. However it’s not a rule, and some support other teams but that’s gonna be a different post.

-Anakin Skywalker loves the Edmonton Oilers cos Gretzky and MacDavid are great players and he sees himself in them. (And their kit reminds him of Ahsoka).

-Qui Gon Jinn is a San Jose Sharks fan because of the beards.

-Obi Wan Kenobi is a Detroit Red Wings fan because they’re one of the OG 6 and they were great when he was younger and he’s loyal even though they’re not that great anymore. (And penguins rivalry lmao).

-Ahsoka is a Vegas Golden Knights fan because they’re a new team but they’re also pretty talented. She does have a soft spot for the Red Wings because of Obi-Wan, and the Oilers because of her Anakin (and because their colours match her).

-Darth Vader (not Anakin) is a Pittsburgh Penguins fan because he refuses to acknowledge that a player could be better than Crosby.

-Luke Skywalker is a Minnesota Wild fan because he’s a mild boy with a green lightsaber from the middle of nowhere.

-Black and White LA Kings are supported by the stormtroopers cos they can wear the jerseys without breaking uniform protocol.

-Pre Black and White LA Kings (I’m talking purple and gold jerseys) were supported by most clones. (Again this is not a rule and it’s gonna be it’s own post)

-Yoda was a Phoenix Coyotes fan and refuses to accept that they’re the Arizona Coyotes now because he’d have to give up his green peyote jersey and he’s not willing to accept that.

-Mace Windu is an Anaheim Ducks fan because Depa and Caleb got him a purple ducks jersey for life day and he loved it (and them) and became a diehard fan. (He also watched the movies while babysitting Caleb and loved them but he won’t admit that).

-Darth Maul supports New Jersey Devils because he likes the jerseys and mascot. (It’s the horns).

-Cal is a Vancouver Canucks fan. I mean, he tries his best and that’s all that matters right? He’ll get a win someday. Plus the jerseys would make cool ponchos.

-All Mandalorians are either Philly or Boston Bruins fans and I will not elaborate.

Is this niche content? Yes. Is it necessary? Also yes. Maybe. Possibly. Enjoy 😁

[generallynerdy]

Allowing the thought to stay the trigger, the heart to register its trembling (Grey/Depa Billaba ft. Caleb Dume)

Summary: “I’m not worth it,” Grey hisses through their teeth. “Please. Depa, please—” Their general, their Jedi, only shakes her head, her grip on their shoulders a death sentence. “I will not leave you,” she says. “Fight the voice, Grey. Fight it.” They sob and some part of their brain burns with the knowledge that little brown eyes are watching from the corner of the room. They scream, pulling against their bonds and the twisting darkness in their head. “I can’t. I can’t—” Something that isn’t Grey crawls under their skin and it speaks, twisted, Dark. “Traitors.”

Warnings: Mind Control, Violent Thoughts, Serious Injuries, Blood and Violence, Eye Trauma (not graphic but described briefly), Vomiting (in like one sentence, emetophobia gang rise up), Angst Word Count: 2,275

Prompt: Angstpril Day 3 - “I can’t.”

Author’s Note: more suffering! Yay! I like to think this ended happily but this is Angstpril so I’m not writing it lol. Also, I discovered that Kanan’s eyes aren’t actually brown, at least according to Wookieepedia but frankly that’s stupid as fuck so. Brown-eyed Kanan. And nonbinary Grey because I am apparently not the only one who loves that concept! (Also, sorry for late posting! I was unable to finish this last night :/ hopefully I can finish day 4 today as well and catch up)

Read on AO3

*

Good soldiers follow orders.

Good soldiers follow orders.

Good soldiers follow orders.

It's an endless loop in the back of their mind, an itch they can't quite scratch. At the Order, it breaks free and turns to a screech, a ringing thought that echoes in their head so loudly it hurts. They don't even feel themselves pulling the trigger, shouting for their squad to follow.

But when they finally come to, underneath the monster that's stolen their face, it's because they're standing over him.

Caleb. 

Commander Caleb Dume. Jedi Padawan. Traitor.

Ad'ika, their heart cries as they lift their blaster. Their shaking hands have it levelled at the boy's face, right between his big brown, tear-filled eyes.

"Grey—Grey, what are you doing? What—?" His pleading words are nearly unintelligible between his panting breaths. When the cold metal touches his face, he sobs. “Don’t! Buir, don’t—don’t—please—”

Their cheeks are wet. Caleb sees it and only sobs harder, afraid to move for fear that they’ll pull the trigger. With their trembling hands, the likelihood of a misfire is high.

Inside their mind, Grey screams. They claw at the walls of their mental prison, leaving their fingertips bloodied and their throat hoarse from their agonizing howls. The cell won’t budge. The chip won’t give. They can’t get out. They can’t save their son.

But someone else can.

A robed figure flies out of nowhere, tackling Grey to the ground and sending their blasters into the air with a flick of their hand.

“Caleb, the blasters!”

Depa.

General Depa Billaba. Jedi High General. Traitor.

Depa. She hates it when I call her General.

She pins them to the ground and presses the calloused pads of her fingers against their temple. Something like grief crosses her face. “Sleep, Grey. Sleep.”

The chip fights, but they don’t. They like to think it helps bring the darkness faster.

*

“Master?”

Caleb’s voice trembles when he asks, taking a hesitant step forward. Depa is still on top of Grey, catching her breath and making sure they’re passed out. She shuts her eyes tightly, centering her conflicted presence. Her Padawan needs her and so does Grey. This is no time to grieve for the rest of their battalion.

(She tried to incapacitate rather than kill, but they’re still gone. The light that she used to associate with them has been snuffed out by a strangling darkness that burns.)

“It’s alright, Caleb, they’re unconscious,” she says, mustering what little strength she has left.

At her word, he rushes over, clinging to the sleeve of her robe.

Any other day, he’d be indignantly distant, trying to prove himself on the battlefield and make Depa proud. But right now he reeks of terror and uncertainty. And she feels the same.

Execute Order 66, the Chancellor had said.

And then everything had gone to hell. The clones had disappeared, replaced by darkness, and the Master-Padawan pair had barely made it out with their lives. Depa hasn’t even been able to process the wave of lights being snuffed out in the Force and she knows her Padawan hasn’t either; his connection with the Force feels brittle and broken. The Jedi are dying at the hands of their closest companions, at the order of the Chancellor of the Republic, and the two of them stand in the center of it all.

“What’s happening?”

“I don’t know,” she admits quietly. She climbs off Grey and binds them with their own set of binders, something tight in her chest as she does. Then, she turns back to Caleb. “Are you alright? No injuries?”

He shakes his head and wipes at his eyes with the edge of his sleeve. “Just scrapes.” He glances at Grey. “That—That wasn’t Buir, was it? It felt...wrong.”

“Very wrong,” she agrees. “I don’t know what it was, but the Chancellor triggered it. We need to get off the planet.”

“Are we...going back to the Temple?”

Depa visibly hesitates. His face falls and he knows in his heart that they aren’t. Even if they did, there would probably be nothing and no one left.

“It isn’t safe. We need to lay low for a while and figure out how to save Grey,” she tells him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Caleb, look at me.”

He does and she smiles a little.

Even now, in what must be the worst moment of his short life, he’s ready to listen. He’s ready to do what he needs to.

She kneels down to meet his height, holding his head in her capable hands. “You will survive this,” she says like it’s a promise. She can’t say the same of her or Grey or anyone else they know, but she can promise that Caleb will live. Because she will die to see it through. “You will. Do you understand?”

Despite the fear in his eyes, he nods.

“Good.”

Depa allows herself a moment to breathe, but no longer.

“Now, we need a way out of here.”

*

Grey wakes to the buzzing of a ship and panics. The last they remember, they were on the surface of the planet, with Depa and Caleb and- oh, Force. Oh, fuck.

Did they attack them? Did they hold a gun to Caleb's head?

Their own is throbbing, something clearly wrong. Chills go down their spine as they sit up, finding their wrists held together by their own binders. They're on the floor of a cargo bay, in an unfamiliar ship, but familiar voices echo from down the hall.

"Master, they're awake!" calls Caleb after poking his head in.

He may not be showing it, or trying not to, but Grey can see the fear in his furrowed eyebrows.

He's afraid of them.

They feel nauseous at the realisation.

"Caleb—" they try to say. Their voice is hoarse.

Depa appears from the hall, a glass of water in her hand. She crosses to Grey, motioning for her Padawan to stay by the door, which he does without question. Kneeling before her commander, her lover, she examines their face. They can feel her prodding at them gently in the Force. She's trying to decide whether they're friend or foe right now.

“Are you with us, Grey?”

They hesitate, but eventually nod. “I think so.”

With a small smile, Depa helps them drink the water, but pulls it away quickly when it’s finished. She’s cautious and rightfully so, Grey thinks when they feel something in their head tug.

They must visibly flinch, because so does Caleb.

“Tell me what’s happening,” their general murmurs, putting a hand on their knee.

Shutting their eyes fiercely, they take a long moment to answer. “It’s—It’s hard to fight. It wants me to...to kill the trai-traitors,” they gasp out, finding the unknown force stronger when they speak that word. They open their eyes, horrified. “Shit.”

“You’re alright.” She takes their hand and starts tracing patterns. “Can you tell where it’s coming from?”

“No, but...kark, my head hurts. My head. I think.”

“Stay still,” she warns.

She runs a hand up their temple, her eyes shut in concentration. The Force prods gently at their mind and, when it finds the offending area, something burns. Grey cries out and Depa stops in an instant, pulling back with a fearful look.

“There’s—” Glancing back at her Padawan, she takes a steadying breath. “I believe there’s something in your head that doesn’t belong, Grey. Something physical, but it’s very dark in the Force.”

“Can we get it out?” Caleb asks, his voice smaller than he is, which is saying something.

She stands, frowning. “I don’t know. I’ll set a course for—”

Grey’s face twists as the thing inside their head roars to life. “Don’t—” they manage to growl out.

There’s a lot they can’t explain to Depa in that moment. For one thing, they’d like to tell her that if the Chancellor activated the thing in their brain, he might very well be able to track them or hear their conversations through it. For another, it’s quite possible that if Dark Grey—yes, they’re calling the evil thing in their head by that now—overtakes Light Grey—Cody would be rolling on the floor now. Is Cody alive? Is his general alive?—they might just straight up contact the enemy.

Even though they can’t explain all that, their beloved Depa Billaba stops instantly, her eyes shining with understanding.

“—somewhere we can lay low and find a doctor,” she finishes instead.

Dark Grey shoves, pushes for more information. It stabs at Grey, a physical pain that makes them hiss. Out of their control, they speak.

“Good soldiers follow orders.”

It makes Depa frown. She examines their face, watching as it shifts into something so unlike them it’s sickening.

“Good soldiers follow orders,” they snap again, like a mantra.

Dark Grey does not appreciate their plan.

Grey finally gets a hold of themself, dragging themself into consciousness with a heavy breath. When they look up at Depa, their gaze is determined.

“You need to leave me.”

“No!” cries Caleb fiercely.

Depa holds up a hand. “Caleb,” she warns, a reminder to mind his emotions.

He falls silent, watching his Master and his buir with something akin to horrified bafflement. Force, Grey has never seen him so openly terrified. Ever since he joined their little family, he’s been nothing but brave.

“I’m a liability and a threat,” they say, turning their attention back to Depa. “It’ll be easier to go without me.”

“We won’t leave you behind.”

They frown at her, lowering their voice. “He can’t die because of me.”

She doesn’t dare glance at Caleb, doesn’t dare give their worries away to the boy, who already has the weight of the galaxy on his shoulders. “It won’t come down to that.”

“And neither can you,” they add firmly. 

Depa’s expression tells them all they need to know. That’s one thing she can’t promise.

“He needs you.”

She huffs a rueful laugh. “So do you.”

If they could, they’d reach out to hold the back of her neck and keep her close.

Hold her neck and break it.

Grey flinches back. “No—”

“Tell me what it’s saying,” she encourages, reaching for them.

An agonizing pain rips through their skull, eliciting a scream. Despite the binders on their wrists, they claw at their scalp. The thought crosses Depa’s mind that she should stop them, but she doesn’t get the chance.

They drop their hands and gaze up at her with tearful eyes.

“I’m not worth it,” Grey hisses through their teeth. “Please. Depa, please—” 

Their general, their Jedi, only shakes her head, her grip on their shoulders a death sentence. “I will not leave you,” she says. “Fight the voice, Grey. Fight it.” 

They sob and some part of their brain burns with the knowledge that little brown eyes are watching from the corner of the room. They scream, pulling against their bonds and the twisting darkness in their head. “I can’t. I can’t—” 

Something that isn’t Grey crawls under their skin and it speaks, twisted, Dark. 

“Traitors.”

They lurch forward. Depa thinks they’re collapsing, but Dark Grey has other plans. They involve the vibroblade tucked into her boot, which is now in reach.

She never liked weapons that weren’t kyber-powered, lightsabers and lightsaber rifles in particular, but after a Separatist assassin nearly suffocated Grey right next to her, she became paranoid. Working through her fear was difficult, so her partner thought having a weapon under her pillow might put her at ease. For the most part, it worked. No one knew of its existence except Grey and she preferred it that way.

And now, CC-10/994 turns that trust against her.

With a fierce yell, he barrels into the Jedi traitor, ripping the vibroblade from its hiding place as she goes flying.

“Master!”

Before the other traitor can react, CC-10/994 flips the first over his shoulder, slamming her into the wall. Then, he flies at the smaller target, vibroblade tightly grasped.

The Jedi yelps and ducks his flurry of blows.

“Grey, snap out of it!” he says desperately.

CC-10/994 doesn’t flinch and leaps forward again.

“Buir! Buir, it’s me, Caleb!”

A single slash of the vibroblade has the traitor shrieking, falling back with an arm over his face. Before CC-10/994 can attack again, the Jedi Padawan throws out a hand, sending him soaring across the room. He slams into the wall with a vicious crack, all the air pushed from his lungs in an instant. For a split second, Grey rises again, ready to fight themself off, but it’s unnecessary.

Depa is there, shoving them into the cargo bay’s cell, ripping the vibroblade away, and locking the door behind them.

Grey collapses inside, gasping for breath and trembling as they stare at their own hands in horror. Blood stains their gloves. The sight makes them nauseous, so they tug the gloves off and throw them to the other side of the cell, desperate to get away.

It’s Caleb’s howl that makes them look up.

Depa is at his side in an instant but not fast enough. He pulls his sleeve away from his face and—

Grey throws up that time, into the corner of the cell.

Their blow struck true, slashing Caleb’s face from his right temple to the bridge of his nose. It’s a deep cut, one that goes into his right eye and bleeds profusely. The other eye, untouched, is blinded by tears.

“I can’t see,” he sobs, reaching for his Master, who reaches back. “I can’t—Master, I can’t—”

CC-10/994 lifts his head and smiles.

“Death to the traitors,” he spits. “Glory to the Empire.”

*

(Dark Grey uses he/him because Dark Grey follows orders, including gender assignments.)

River’s Tags: @hahaboop & @mystoragehatesme

Masterlist

[mvchinery]

POORNA JAGANNATHAN / / have you met DEPA BILLABA yet ? SHE is a FORTY - THREE year old CIS WOMAN HUMAN. she’s originally from CHALACTA & now shows loyalty to THE JEDI ORDER. she is best known for being a JEDI MASTER, & i hear she’s pretty PERCEPTIVE yet also SLY at times ; i hope she survives the galactic civil war.

hi milf i missed u !! blending sw canons like nobody’s fucking business holy shittttt

THE PAST.

when depa was a very small child, her parents were killed by pirates. she & her half sister sar labooda were rescued by a young jedi named mace windu, & he was the one to notice their force sensitivity & bring them to the jedi temple. when depa was old enough, he took her on as his padawan.

depa was a brilliant student. she passed her trials for knighthood young, & it was a surprise to none when she became a master early, too. she mastered both soresu & vaapad, & took a seat on the jedi high council before she even reached the age of twenty - five --- at the time, she was the youngest master in the order’s history to do so. the achievement she is most proud of, however, was her time studying with the chalactan adepts of her homeworld. she took their teachings seriously & received both the greater & lesser marks of illumination.

from the beginning, depa knew that jedi involvement in the clone wars would end terribly. she staunchly opposed the military creation act ; she predicted that the war would cause the fall of the order, whether the republic won or lost. but how could she stand by ? she accepted the rank of general & followed the jedi way, right into hell.

early in the war, depa was sent to haruun kal to assist the local korun militia in fighting off the separatist backed settlers. it was a conflict that had been going on every summer for generations, a planet that was seeped in dark, wild force ; the korun were all force sensitive & surrounded by extreme brutality, hunted by the settlers, barely able to maintain their way of life. depa reordered their militia, freed prisoners, developed a plan, doing her best in the face of bloodlust & bloodshed, under conditions no jedi could have survived for long, haunted by terrifying nightmares & force visions. slowly, she began to cut herself off from the force, staving off a total fall. slowly, she began to crack.

mace came for her. she knew he would. 

in the end, they beat back the separatists. depa had to throw herself fully back into the force to secure their victory, demonstrating incredible skill even as she slipped, bit by bit. the leader of the militia fired down on areas of dense population from a seized starship, slaughtering sentients indiscriminately. depa collapsed during an attempt to cut through the ship, unable to stop him from firing. mace defeated him, only to come face to face with a reawakened depa.

in her fallen state, she attacked him. when she had beaten him, stabbed him through the stomach, nearly killed him --- she was so horrified by what she had done to the person she loved most in the galaxy that she snapped out of it. she came back to herself, & a failed attempt to end her own life left her in a coma for months, her body violently rejecting the dark.

she faced endless tests & evaluations when she regained consciousness. she passed them all, returning to her spot on the council & in the military, but she was never quite the same. she favored soresu over vaapad, was quieter & sharper.

once the order’s greatest pride, depa was now openly called damaged goods.

she found peace in taking on her first & only padawan, a clever, curious boy named caleb dume. together, they saved the temple from a bombing, beat back general grievous --- survived, day after day. until order 66 hit. depa felt the deaths of jedi approaching in the force, & she went down fighting on kaller. she sacrificed herself to give caleb the chance to run. she’ll never regret it.

THE PRESENT.

depa billaba died at the hands of her commander grey, her best friend.

depa billaba blinks awake, sprawled out on the ground of kaller. 

these things shouldn’t both be true, shouldn’t both make sense, but she’s long grown used to contradiction. she can meditate on meaning without being stuck in the past --- right now, she needs to find the jedi.

she needs to find caleb.

PERSONALITY.

depa was prized by the jedi for her spirituality, wisdom, & thoughtfulness. she ponders all questions carefully, examines every angle without being indecisive. she’s found the balance between philosophy & action, equally skilled in debate & dueling. she is soft spoken, but she shares her ideas with a calm, unassailable confidence, & generally carries herself with quiet authority. she is patient, but she does not tolerate nonsense, & is keenly perceptive, cutting to the heart of most problems.

though she can be strict & studious, depa is far from overly serious. she has a warm humor to her, prone to light, clever teasing with her sly wit. she loves deeply & seflessly --- perhaps loves more than a jedi should. she loves mace as her father, & she won’t deny it. depa is as kind & gentle as she can afford to be.

she surprises people with her cynicism, sometimes, with her sharpness. she told mace once that the jedi should have dropped a baradium bomb on that geonosian arena & ended the war in one stroke. she took one look at the clone wars & saw the violence corrupting the order. she isn’t wrong, is she ? she looks for the truth, but the truths she finds might be colder than most. she’s still healing from haruun kal. she‘s still working on trusting herself again.