#(Because I absolutely do! Reading the metas from you intelligent people gives me so much food for thought!)

[americankimchi]

Do you have any tips for writing Obi Wan or any meta in mind with his characterizarion?

hmmm sure why not! i'll give a few tips on how i'd write obi-wan. mind you this is how i interpret the character, so ymmv.

i truly do not like it when fics have obi-wan voluntarily leaving the order. like it's so out-of-character for me in my head that the premise of the story + the writing would have to work triple-time to get me to stick around. now if he's been removed from it by an EXTERNAL SOURCE (not the order. i cannot stress this enough: the jedi kicking obi-wan out is so jarring to me i'll leave the fic in an instant) or somehow unable to return to the order for whatever reason, all is well.

not a prodigy, but a genius. obi-wan is an incredibly intelligent person with an absolutely staggering knowledge base in a wide variety of topics, but all that knowledge was earned through blood, sweat, tears, and time. he sat down with his game face on and put in the work. that's also why he makes an excellent teacher: he knows what most students will struggle with because he struggled too, and knows through experience how best to overcome them. i headcanon that it contributes to why he's such a good negotiator: he's really good at stripping down information to the essentials and communicating that information effectively and efficiently to others because of his intense study habits.

humble, but not ignorant of his skills. it's pretty impossible to fully divorce yourself from pride in your achievements, and i don't think it's healthy to not feel any pride at all, so i think obi-wan has a very clear understanding of his skillset and how best to use it. i don't think he'd be ignorant of how good he is at something, especially since the direct consequence of his aptitude led him to being a member of the jedi council. pretty hard to be blind to your strengths when you're being asked for your input on topics that directly draw from that knowledge.

averse to healthcare. listen i enjoy obi-wan whump just as much as the next obi-wan stan (the desire to put him in the cosmic salad spinner comes with the territory, i fear) but as a character who grew up in an environment that deeply cares for the well-being of all, and knowing that you cannot help others unless you yourself first have the ability to do so, i can't really see him ignoring injuries outside of combat scenarios. like on the battlefield he's got more pressing concerns than a pesky little shrapnel wound or five, but once the battle's over?? he might not be first in line to the medics but i can't see him avoiding them entirely. an army without a general is working at a sharp disadvantage and i don't think he'd risk his men by neglecting his physical health in that manner. note that i said 'physical'. make of that what you will :)

duty. obi-wan is the definition of a paladin. he takes an oath and by the force he's going to keep it. train the boy? absolutely, qui-gon. whether or not anakin chooses to respect that training is another matter, but he did definitively get knighted! refuse to kill anakin? listen he's handed vader his own ass to him twice post order 66 and each time he did it he did it nonlethally. that takes skill. that takes dedication. exile yourself to tatooine for 19 years and then decide fuck it, we ball, and die after Once Again Deciding Not To Kill Anakin Skywalker? step aside casper, there's a new friendly ghost in town. every time obi-wan commits to something the man COMMITS. you GOTTA respect that grind.

flirty but in the sense that he's going to match the energy someone brings to the table. like he's a negotiator. he knows how to read people and figure out the Vibes. if he thinks the other person will be 1) 100% receptive and 2) will respond with a delightful wit, why the hell not? obi-wan's highest stat is charisma and he's got expertise in persuasion. whether they're allies or not does not factor into this equation. he can have a little flirtation with morally dubious and potentially hostile characters. as a treat.

this has nothing to do with his character but i firmly believe that he and quinlan vos had at LEAST a fling when they were padawans. there is zero evidence to back this up aside from a few comics where they were being goofy teenagers together but i stand by this. it is an unshakeable aspect of obi-wan to me that has only gotten worse with the kenobi show.

no matter what, no matter how terrible or devastating or downright apocalyptic it gets, obi-wan kenobi will never fall to the dark side. never. it won't be easy, but that is a line he has never, and will never cross. i will not hear any "obi-wan touched the dark side during the theed generator fight" slander. if that was true tell me why the force theme was playing during his moment of triumph!!! Would John Williams Lie To Us Like That?? to our face?????

anyways i could go on forever about obi-wan because he is My Ultimate Blorbo but this post is getting super long so i'll leave it there. hope this helped even a little or at the very least was entertaining for you to read <3

[digitaldoeslmk]

I just have to say I love your art and your AU! As someone who is a big fan of LMK, but also reading JTTW right now (Anthony C. Yu Abridged Version since thats all I have access too right now), you have effectively mixed two of my favorite things right now!

I enjoy LMK because it's a fair intro to the stories while still being altered for the enjoyment of the viewers (and a younger audience). Things are definitely far from being one to one with the books, but I see it as a good starting point for people who have no idea about the culture or original story. I will admit Macaque is one of my favorites in the show, I'm a big fan of bastard characters, but even I can see that the mischaracterization of him is quite heavy since they altered the story so much. It's why I separate LMK!Macaque from JTTW!Macaque.

That being said I do also absolutely love JTTW. I'm from America so I'm used to westernized versions of stuff, but reading JTTW has been a blast. I love the characters and the story because it's a way for me to learn about a culture that's not my own. That also being said it's not the easiest read I've ever had, just because it isn't my culture and I went into reading it havign very little knowledge of the religions they touch on in the books. All the same it's still amazing. I also enjoy Macaque in JTTW. I mean who wouldn't love the cannibalistic and antagonist monkey who's actually super intelligent?

All in all I love your AU and I love that it still holds that ability to tell the story more in-line with JTTW's events (also give Macaque a more predominant role and characterization) while still holding the behavioralisms I loved to see in the characters of LMK.

- Lycori 🌸

thank you so much!! i'm happy that you enjoy my au! :DD

personally, i think that some of the changes made by the series go too far, or make it harder to get into jttw rather than easier, but i can't deny it has introduced a whole lot of new people into his wonderful novel! i think if they have kept some buddho-daoist cosmology fundamentals rather than westernizing it, maybe folks like you wouldn't struggle as much with some of te cultural contexts, yknow? and most importantly, chinese fans wouldn't feel alienated from the western fans.

still, i'm glad to hear you're able to separate the two, and that you can enjoy them both in their own merits!! i think that lmk has a lot of good qualities, not just the animation and voice acting, and hopefully my au can make a compelling point for how it could have been an overall stronger narrative if it had leaned harder on the source material and culture without cutting off those good qualities :D

if you'd like, i can always offer some good articles and meta posts i've come across related to jttw! i'm also working on a post of my notes and annotations of Oedipall God by Meir Shahar, which gave me a lot of cultural context that helped me make sense of a lot of plot beats in both jttw and fsyy (Investiture of the Gods), so people can't read the book can have access to some of its material :D

again thank you for the ask, it was very sweet! <33

[dontcallpanic]

This is amazing @gege-wondering-around!! I love this so much and I have to reply because I've had a vague Pride and Prejudice/Secret Garden Sterek Au rattling in my head for a while. I was going to wait until I could form coherent thoughts again, especially since meta-analysis is not my strong point, but that's a luxury so here we go - this is my YESSSS to everything above AND...

I love Stiles as Lizzy so much! They both understand the value of a good character above anything else but are also both grounded enough to appreciate the practicalities of status/money etc. But they also give the impression (Lizzy probably more explicitly) of understanding there is a lot more to marriage than simply satisfying desires.

Stiles also watches closely to see who people are - quite specifically watching how actions speak more about the character of a person than just their pretty words. I feel this is shown through Derek saving (putting his life on the line for) Stiles and Stiles saving Derek's life multiple times. These actions grow the trust between the two on such a deep and intimate level. Lizzy watches people's actions on this level too, especially when she watches how Darcy copes with various social scandals, risking his reputation (without which he would be nothing) to save someone she loves.

Both Stiles and Lizzy have an independent streak a mile wide. I love the line "I am resolved to act in a manner which will constitute my happiness, without reference to you or any other person wholly unconnected with me." I think this sounds like SUCH a Stiles thing to say. "Fuck off, you don't to tell me what to do. I'm going to do what I want."

The same for "Despise me if you dare." I love the idea that Stiles would dare someone to write him off. Moreso that someone would dare to go against him... because we all know exactly how that would go.

Then for Derek and Darcy there's similarities in the way they both seem to feel pressure to perfom, to be someone they are not/that doesn't come easily to them. They both seem to be introverts masquerading as leaders because that is what is required of them.

Derek benefits hugely from Stiles' influence and skills, like (off the top of my head) learning to plan a little bit better instead of just running headlong into danger. But Darcy also benefits from Lizzy, learning to be less arrogant and prideful.

Thinking about it though, I was wondering if Derek wasn't really prideful, more just trying to give the impression that he was/that he actually had his shit together when really he was just winging it the entire time. I can see Darcy parallels there too but Darcy does a better job than Derek.

Lizzy often mocks Darcy too - and we all know that Stiles mocks Derek - and both Darcy and Derek need that mocking - I think it's an essential part of their development to learn that they don't actually need to take themselves so seriously. I think that mocking is a defence mechanism for both Lizzy and Stiles too!

Both Derek and Darcy also (famously) struggle to express themselves emotionally which causes problems for Lizzy and Stiles. Both Darcy and Derek fall way too easily into the pattern of terse gruffness too, probably learned out of way too many social mistakes.

I also found a few quotes too that were fun:

Darcy describes Lizzy as "Uncommonly intelligent by the beautiful expression in her dark eyes" which could absolutely be Derek describing Stiles. Same for being "Caught by the easy playfulness of her manner." There are so many similarities

Esentially what I have always loved about Lizzy and Darcy is that they are two sides of the same coin - their flaws are the same, just starting from a completely different point of veiw. Same for Derek and Stiles - they are two sides of the same coin. They understand each other the way nobody else can!

I can't wait to read what you come up with! you are totaly on to something here and more than anything else, I hope you have an absolute blast with it! Sending you lots of good things and thanks SO MUCH for sharing your thoughts!

can i just say that Elizabeth and Darcy from Pride and Prejudice are the old school version of Stiles and Derek?

Cause i will shout this from my balcony till it breaks beneath me!

Stiles (Elizabeth or if you want, 'lizzy') not giving a flying f about Derek (Darcy) cause this rich dude has no care for others and just runs on raw pride, which lead all his decisions. Which ultimately makes him look like the worst man on earth to Stiles' eyes, which is why he stays away from Derek.

But then, solitary man Derek will start to fall in love with this intelligent and fine creature (stiles) because he couldn't be more difficult to get!

Stiles doesn't care about society, stiles is sharp and of an intellectual awareness that defy every man in search of the tipycal silly type to ask for marriage, and Derek cannot stress himself enough about this sweet, pretty thing dancing around at balls and answering rudeness with politeness mixed with the most sublime undertone of confidence and assertiveness.

cause stiles doesn't care about money or status, stiles cares about marrying someone he truly loves and when he realized derek did love him, he felt sooooo ashamed of how judgemental he had been of this poor man who just wanted his hand! because derek loved him enough to forgive stiles for his harsh words towards him (cause stiles thought of him as a bad individual and spoke of it to him) from the past and was then a more genuine version of himself.

And as Derek and Stiles tangle their lives together because of friends and family, they end up as the most tight knot that will not be undone! especially after derek hear about stiles' high chin and firm words of 'i may not be engaged to him now, but fear i may will' that he spoke to Derek's aunt when she went to stiles to disagree of their possibile engagement

and what did stiles do?

respond to the rudeness of this lady with the sharpest and most confidence tone of 'we will choose for ourselves' which, when derek heard about this, made him go so out of his path to get stiles.

because they didn't know each other, then they did, and they fell in love. and they weren't going to NOT act on it.

(summary: enemies to lovers. which is now my new obsession- yes, i never invested into enemies to lovers, but now i might do some digging)

I'm gonna write a retelling of this so bad.

imagine.

this kind of pretty stiles (with a sharp tongue and pretty look that defy how his mind actually thinks and hides how much 'intellectual power' he has since, for the time the story it's set in, lizzy is an unusual brave woman who would rather marry the poor guy, love of her life over the rich, cold man with money)

pretty because lizzy is viewed as a very pretty women who is recognized as such in society (which dancy then calls 'the most beautiful women I've even seen in my entire life' after someone says she's not even that pretty)

who's personality can go from this ⬇️

yk, funny, outgoing, polite (sort of) and overall a wonderful presence to have conversations with and engage in sharing opinions and dance with during balls (in which her figure is gracefully dancing and all the other stuff i dont remember)

to this ⬇️

a wonderful undertone of 'f you with respect' and 'who do you think you are', who will also be able to undo you in 30 seconds in a verbal battle cause he has the intelligence and intellectual knowledge to do so and WILL do so without much regards for consequences cause he'll do so in a way that will makes it unable for you to bite back cause you'll end up the one being labeled as rude.

pared with

this angry looking fool, who looks more arrogant than anything most of the day, to most people (and even those who knows him talk very little of his doings, because he hides his true emotions and intentions. and despite pride being his fuel, he's still a caring man who is not talk about much if not for his money = they talk about his fortune and not the values he has, despite the sort of 'contorted' way in which everything is based on pride)

(which could also be older, but who know what I'll end up choosing when i write this - because yes, i love older men ⬇️)

who, ultimately, will look at stiles like this⬇️

because 'damn, you are the only person i want by my side for the rest of my life' and he wont be able to move his gaze elsewhere cause despite being an a-hole to stiles for the major part of theirshared time, he was still able to redeem himself by showing his kindness and actually gets stiles.

while stiles is like

because after pulling up the bad facade of 'i dont give a f about you cause i think you are rude', he felt ashamed when he found he was wrong about him but then darcy (derek) forgives him and he can't hold his feelings anymore and just shows everything through his eyes and the soft laughter he lets out when they talk cause he has still to process how much these two are gonna love each other (this, before they are engaged)

so.

I'll buy the book (cause i read a school fitted version of it), annotate things, write down some coherent line of plot and one day, I'll write everything down.

till then, I'll scream about this from my balcony, thanks for have come to this sort of tedtalk.

and this is for you, my sweet @dontcallpanic, i hope you'll like my little gift as I'm still working, rather slowly, on my replies for you 🩵🫂

[boleynns]

Your new post gives me hope but people are saying apparently the reason why daemon and rhaenyra get married is because alicent comes running at her with a knife and later she’s outside in this coat we see in the trailer telling daemon “she will block my way” so they marry each other because it benefits both of them. I swear y’all I haven’t read the books and I’ve heard so much of opposing perspectives and that this point it seems like the people who were saying it was for “political reasons” are correct😓

I don't know how to help you anon, but I will try to be your therapist. I just one thousand percent don't agree that those people are "correct", hence the 3k word meta explaining my thoughts in detail, but here are more words because I can't let you go on like this.

If those people seriously think there could be no romantic/emotional reasons factoring into their decision to get married -- after they've finally slept together after a 10 year separation, and soon after that Daemon sees Rhaenyra nearly get stabbed in the face -- then I just don't know what to tell those people other than "Please gain emotional intelligence," because those are all extremely emotionally charged events.

Just because something could possibly be interpreted as politically expedient (which literally any decision these two make could be, because he is the king's brother and she is the heir to the freaking throne -- their entire existences are political!), or just because it also could maybe put Rhaenyra in a better political position (which it kind of does, but also kind of doesn't), doesn't negate the obvious love/respect/lust/want/etc. emotions for each other that are absolutely influencing their decisions.

Not to mention, Daemon and Rhaenyra have both had a TON to say in multiple episodes/plots about the absolute hatred they have for being made to marry someone they don't want to marry. That has been a huge sticking-point and theme in both of their character's stories so far, and there is no way they would torture each other by being each other's next unwanted spouse. Ain't NO WAY they are getting married, IN A SECRET VALYRIAN BLOOD-EXCHANGE CEREMONY, if they don't want to. As I said in my meta, if they just were getting married for political reasons, they could just do the Big Sept Wedding with the feasts and the pomp and the copy/paste vows we've seen over-and-over again, but they do not do that.

I feel like I am out of breath from typing so much, but I just refuse to let you all forget that Daemon and Rhaenyra are extremely emotional characters (especially Daemon), and refuse to let you keep gaslighting yourself into thinking that they are robots who only care about power and not each other.

Like. Their very first scene together, which is Daemon's character introduction as well (and so is very telling about his character even outside of his relationship to Rhaenyra), is basically everything I am trying to explain! They banter! They speak Valyrian! They are honest and open with one another in a way they aren't with other people! They meet secretly to have little conversations! Daemon walks down off the throne to be on her level! He speaks to her with love and affection, with zero "political" reason or incentive! He brings her super personal gifts because they connect on a Valyrian/Dragonblood level like no others! How many different ways can I say the same words!

They are going to kick political ass together while also staring into each others eyes and having sex on every available surface, and then they will vanquish their enemies in very sexy and violent ways. It's gonna be great!

[therealvinelle]

Thoughts on Esme?

I have them.

To start with, I see Esme quite differently from the way this fandom appears to see her, yet also quite differently from the way Meyer intended for me to see her.

I think we all on this website have noticed that fandom has morphed Esme into a very different character than the one we met in the books.

Now, some people take this further than others, and it’s gotten to a point where I can’t tell if fandom believes this new and shinier Esme is canon, or if they know she isn’t canon but don’t care. Either way, the common denominator to all variations of fanon Esme is that this fandom is sick of the way Stephenie Meyer writes women, and see Esme as the worst affected by all. And fanon Esme is a vindication, one where Esme is an assertive, intelligent, feminist woman with a fantastic sex life and an impressive career. The ideal American woman of the 21st century.

And to each their own - if this makes people happy, then by all means. This meta is my personal opinion on her, though, and since fanon Esme has gained such a strong foothold in fandom I would be amiss not to bring her up.

Another thing I’d be amiss not to bring up is movie Esme. The Esme portrayed in the movies is, like so many of the characters, a different person than the one in the books. She is charming, warm, appears to have no difficulty controlling herself, and off the top of my head I can think of one time where she’s given what was originally Carlisle’s moment. I’m talking about sparing Bree - in the books this is something only Carlisle would do, something that has the others going, “jeez, Carlisle, only you”. In the film, this is a decision he and Esme make as a couple. This changes both their characters.

So, these versions of Esme exist, and they’re good characters, but they’re not the Esme I see in the books.

What we meet in canon is a woman who contents herself with being a 50’s housewife. No one in the house eats, she still knows how to cook. Making beautiful homes and keeping them beautiful is not just her passion, it appears to be all she wants to do. Now, humans can be housewives, and that’s a choice I respect very much, but Esme is a vampire, living in a vampire coven. The Cullens have zero need for a housewives. And she doesn’t do other things, either. There is only the creation of homes and being a mother. 

And so Esme floats through eternity, embodying the Mother archetype, going through all the motions mothers do with no deeper meaning to any of it.

She gives me the creeps.

I don’t know if anyone here has read Coraline, but in that book we meet the Other Mother. Other Mother always has time for Coraline, she makes all the delicious food Coraline could ever want, and loves her very much. The cat tells us that this may be, Other Mother may love Coraline, but it could also just be she wants to eat her. And since Bella does end up sowing buttons into her eyes, I can’t shake the association.

I think the Esme Platt who ran away to fend for herself and her child, who got a job and struggled to be independent, died with her child. This was her last tie to hope, to this world, and with his death she gave up on life in a way nothing could meaningfully recall.

She then wakes up as a vampire, beautiful (I’m guessing here, but one of the most common things men like to insult women is by demeaning our appearance. An abusive husband, living with Esme in a time where a woman’s appearance decided her worth even more than it does today, would definitely use this against her. Not to mention, it is a cornerstone in female socialization that we’re taught to value our looks. Becoming inhumanly beautiful would boost anybody’s spirits and install confidence, and I doubt Esme was an exception), stronger and faster than any human man, invulnerable, powerful in a way she never dreamed she could be. 

The man she idolized since she was a child, who was supposed to be an unattainable dream, is there, and even more wonderful than she remembered. He’s the one who saved her, and within the year he becomes her husband. 

(This by itself is too fantastical, too storybook ending, and I imagine snapped whatever remaining strings Esme still had tethering her to sanity. Any newborn vampire would find themselves in a surreal new state of being, but this is a step further. There’s getting to have it all, and then there’s... well, then there’s this.)

Then there is Edward. Days after she lost her son, she’s presented with a young man who lost his mother. 

(And this might be a post of its own, but: we never see Esme be a mother to any of the other Cullens, and I don’t think she is. It’s just Edward. And she loves him all the more for it. She wouldn’t blink at Bella dying if Edward decided his thirst weighed heavier than his fascination with the human. This is canon - they have a conversation about this, and Esme make her stance clear. She puts Edward above absolutely everything else in this world.)

What I’m getting at here, is that Esme was handed perfection on a silver platter. All the things she’d lost, all the things she’d lacked, things that had been taken from her in the cruelest manner possible, were now given to her, in perfect condition at that. Esme will never have to worry about things like money, sickness, aging, or even Edward growing up and leaving the nest. (And even when he does get married and have a baby, he still doesn’t leave the nest!)

Esme was given the ultimate do-over with vampirism, and she spends it being what she never got to be in life. (And I’ll link this post, because Bella’s in the same situation, if less extreme, and they’re both in for a rude awakening. And I don’t think Esme will cope at all.)

To Esme, vampirism is startlingly similar to the afterlife. It’s her tailored paradise, eternal and perfect. There’s the fact that every so often she slips up and eats people, but that only adds to the eeriness of it all.

Esme Cullen is more a ghost story than a vampire to me, haunting whichever house the Cullens inhabit under the guise of being a homebody.

(As for the her supposed sex life with Carlisle - Meyer said they have a spiritual relationship. That’s hilarious, and code for they’re not having sex.)

[ourmondobongo]

Hey! How are you? I was reading a fic, well almost a meta on Levi&Hanji's relationship in which something really bothered me. The OP said after Erwin's death Levi did follow Hanji as the commander and fulfilled whatever goal she gave him; however, despite the fact There is trust between them, the level of this trust would never reach to the one he had towards Erwin as well as his leadership. The thought makes me feel so uncomfortable because I don't think for a second this is true. Where do you think such a ridiculous opinion stem from and what do you think about the whole idea?

Hello!!!

I hope you are doing fine! Sorry the lateness on this reply!

Hmm, the idea that Levi trusted Erwin in a way he didn't trust anyone else is somewhat based on their relationship dynamics, imo.

For example, there are instances where their trust bond is particularly highlighted: in the Female Titan arc - where Levi says to Erwin "I'm going to trust your judgment" after the Commander orders him to replenish his gas when "there was no time and he already had plenty"; or in the first snk guidebook that highlights Levi's relationships, and it's trust with Erwin again; or also Levi’s character monologue:

So I think Isayama really wanted to put the trust bond of their relationship as something different from everyone else! What makes sense considering 1) Levi's hard past and horrible grow up in the Underground, and 2) the way he chose to share the same goal as Erwin in his life mission being to save humanity.

I know, though, that some people often says Levi trusted him blindly or without question, as if he was only a mindless soldier obeying orders. But the truth is that while Levi does trust Erwin, he questioned stuff (ie, in the Female Arc); he called out Erwin’s "gambles" (ie, in the Reiss Titan fight), he reprimanded him (ie, in the pre-RtS battle). Above all, Erwin was also a great strategist, and he "brought the best results" as per Levi's words in his character song as well as Erwin’s journey up until his death. So Levi choose to follow and trust him for very grounded reasons, and his personal belief something would come out of their struggle for humanity.

That said, the experience Levi had under Erwin was very different from the one he had Hanji, imo. While Erwin always felt like he was walking ahead of everyone, and Levi came to stand in equal footing with him more toward the end of Erwin's life when the latter bared his whole to Levi in the crate scene, Hanji had always had a complementary open book relationship with Levi.

Like, idk, Erwin is of very confident leader, and Levi stresses a few times how he doesn't know what Erwin is thinking (like in their smartpass) but still trust the man, and the text ends highlighting how they both are the greatest men of the SC; or Isym saying Levi felt a little betrayed after discovering Erwin’s dream, but still followed him. While Hanji and Levi are completing each other's sentences, or having telepathic conversations, and listening to each other's trail of reasoning to reach a mutual understanding and trace plans of actions. So things are just different between them all...

As for the level of trust Levi had in Hanji as Commander, I think the fact Levi asked Erwin to let Hanji lead the troops in the RtS battle and "wait for the good news" gives a solid idea of how much faith Levi had in her leadership too.

Hanji was an integral part of their advancement with her intelligence and inventions, her experience as Squad Leader was one of the best in the battlefield considering her group had the highest survival rates because of their constant experiments/studies of Titan behavior, and aside from her absolutely excitement with Titan Studies when the opportunity for it seemed fitting, Hanji was fully committed to fight to death for Humanity and showed pretty much deadly willpower to fulfill her mission. (Also, Erwin believed that Hanji could one day unveil the mystery of the Titans, and he trusted the SC leadership to her hands since Uprising Arc. These things are not small stuff.)

So that's it imo - their relationships were different, and Isayama did put an emphasis on Levi and Erwin’s trust bond.

[darkqueenofshadows85]

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022) Film Review

Introduction

Greetings, mortals! For today's review, we'll be looking at Paramount's Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022).

This is part of a series of reviews in which I’ll be going into slightly more detail about my thoughts on various Sonic TV shows and movies, and why I think they're either well written and engaging, or an absolute trainwreck (or somewhere in-between). I’ll be giving my stance on the character portrayals, visuals, soundtracks, voice actors (and actors in general), and what themes/messages they had to offer. Keep in mind that these are just my own personal thoughts. Whether you agree or disagree, feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions!

(SPOILER WARNING)

Anyway, let us begin! ^^

Plot

Following Robotnik's defeat, he returns to Earth for revenge with the red echidna warrior Knuckles in tow. With Tom and Maddie Wachowski on vacation in Hawaii, Sonic then teams up with a yellow two-tailed fox named Tails on a world-wide adventure to search for the Master Emerald, which gives its user ultimate power.

Characters

Sonic is once again very endearing and relatable, and he actually does get some nice character development this time around. He now possesses morals rather than just being cocky. His human side really starts to show and would risk himself to save those he really cares about. He is still very much a kid like he was in the first movie, but he has matured a bit. His relationship with Tom Wachowski also evolved from a friendship to a form of son-and-father relationship, with Tom trying to be a supportive presence to Sonic by reminding him that the time will eventually come for him to use the incredible powers he possesses but is not allowed to use in public.

Tails is super adorable throughout the film. He is a determined and brave young fox who is willing to face the unknown on multiple worlds and deadly villains, all in an attempt to find Sonic, no matter what. He is also quite logical and intelligent, as seen by how he steadily narrowed his search for Sonic by thinking things through and using what he learned along the way. Tails was once insecure about his extra tail, but after seeing how Sonic uses his weird quality, his super speed, to be a hero, Tails came to believe that his weird quality is not so bad. This is a relatable message as many people (myself included) may have some sort of disability that makes them get ostracized.

I really like how Knuckles is portrayed in this film. It’s fun to see him adjusting to how things work on Earth. He comes from a warrior tribe, and he had never really experienced friendship before. He is gullible, but he's not stupid. In fact, he's actually pretty smart. This movie understands Knuckles better than the Meta Era games and the Sonic Boom games/TV series did. I love that this film brings Knuckles back to being a serious rival to Sonic, compared to the more recent games demoting him to the role of being an idiot since the Sonic Boom cartoon. It makes me wish SEGA would take notes if they saw the films, because in my honest opinion, Paramount is basically doing Sonic better than SEGA did post-Unleashed/Black Knight. It even goes as far as to give Knuckles a father, something the games would never do. And while Knuckles is mostly portrayed as a serious, badass character along the lines of his depictions in S3&K, the Sonic Adventure games and Sonic X, he does have his fair share of funny moments as well, with the majority of them having to do with his general unfamiliarity with Earth. My favorite moment is when Knuckles is reading out loud, "Dot, dot, dot... dot, dot, dot... dot, dot, dot..." That got a big laugh out of me when I saw it in the theater for the first time, and I still find it hilarious to this day. See, SEGA? You CAN give Knuckles a few comedic moments here and there without turning him into a complete joke like in Sonic Boom. And seeing him and Tails just having fun playing baseball and heading to get ice cream after having such difficult upbringings was very heartwarming. Knuckles is one of the best Sonic characters in my opinion, so seeing him portrayed in possibly his best iteration yet after years of flanderization was such a massive treat and was one of the things that made this movie the best video game movie I've seen since the first Sonic movie.

Visuals

Visually, this film looks considerably better than its predecessor. Back in 2019, many people on the Internet infamously cyber-bullied the makers of the first film into changing Sonic's look, winning out in the end with his current design. I'm not sure how they were able to pull it off, but Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles all look well integrated into our world. Scenes where human characters were interacting with Sonic, both physically and verbally, all looked very convincing, as though there really were an anthropomorphic blue hedgehog sitting next to them or dancing alongside them in a bar.

Soundtrack

Once again, I think they did a pretty good job with the soundtrack for this film. Stars in the Sky by Kid Cudi is pretty catchy in my opinion, and I liked hearing Barracuda by Heart and Walk by Pantera in the film as well.

Acting

Like in the first movie, Ben Schwartz does a great job playing up Sonic's cocky attitude to full effect. Although he still has that streak of impulsivity, Sonic this time feels as though he is trying to make an effort to use his intellect rather than just his speed to hunt down the Master Emerald.

It was also great to hear Colleen O'Shaughnessey reprise her role as Tails from the video games, as I can't really think of any other mainstream actors capable of voicing the loveable two-tailed fox. If you enjoyed O'Shaughnessey's voice of Tails in the games, then you are sure to like how she is able to hold her own alongside the rest of the cast.

Idris Elba absolutely NAILED Knuckles in my opinion. He is a really excellent choice for Knuckles in this movie and arguably gives a better performance than the alternative from the video games and even television series.

Jim Carrey once again does a fantastic job playing Dr. Robotnik. In fact, he actually seemed a lot better this time around, allowing Eggman to lose his mind, and therefore allowing Carrey to do what he does best. His facial expressions are hilarious, and he still manages to strike a perfect balance of goofy and threatening. Whoever cast him as Robotnik is a genius. It's so perfect. I can't imagine it being anyone else. And while I respect his desire to retire, I'm still holding out hope that he will reprise his role as Dr. Robotnik one last time for the third Sonic movie.

The supporting actors, from returning cast members like James Marsden (Tom), Tika Sumpter (Maddie), Natasha Rothwell (Rachel), Adam Pally (Wade) and Lee Majdoub (Agent Stone) to newcomers like Shemar Moore (Randall) were all fantastic in their roles as well. Say what you will about the human characters in the Sonic movies, but they're certainly written better than most of the human characters in the games. Can you imagine Princess Elise from Sonic 06 driving a golf cart all pissed off chugging a bottle of wine? She's too busy trying to break Princess Peach's record for most times kidnapped.

Theme/Message

This film sheds light on the importance of having family and friends in your life. They will always have your back and keep you on the right path in life. Sonic and the other characters experience different obstacles that teach them the true definition of a family, even if they come as friends.

Conclusion

As much as I loved the first Sonic movie, I honestly think this film is a vastly superior sequel that improved upon its predecessor in every way. This film has new character appearances, major plot twists, more story elements and lore from the game series, mind-blowing adventures, and tons of laughs throughout it. It's great that this sequel is one of the few movie sequels out there that's actually better than the original. And considering the "we know better than the fans" mentality that is so prevalent in the entertainment industry nowadays, it's refreshing to see movies actually made for the fans for a change. There were plenty of Easter eggs and nods to the Sonic games sprinkled throughout, including several Sonic Adventure references, as well as several callbacks to jokes and plot points from the first film. The humor and pop culture references were really well done in my opinion. I was pleasantly surprised by the amount of 80s movie references that were in the film, including a brief homage to Risky Business, as well as mentions of Poltergeist and Ghostbusters (for instance, when Tom's deputy, Wade, learns about the Master Emerald's ability to convert thought into action, he compares it to the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man), and one of my favorite lines in the movie is when Sonic says "Oh great, the winter soldier..." I'm not even a Marvel fan and I find that line funny. Also, I've got to give a shout-out to this gem: "And who is Clifford the Big Red Rage Monster??"

The wedding subplot was actually pretty entertaining in my opinion, especially the parts where Sonic crashes the wedding and Rachel goes full on bridezilla mode upon learning that her fiance is actually an undercover G.U.N. officer.

And the ending where Sonic turns into Super Sonic, and he comes to truly accept the Wachowskis as his parents, and they, along with Tails and Knuckles, bond over a game of baseball, is just... [chef's kiss] beautiful... It truly does end the movie on a wholesome, heartwarming note... ^w^

Overall, I personally consider Sonic 2 to be a fantastic sequel that improves upon and greatly surpasses the original. If you enjoyed the first film, then you will LOVE this sequel. Don't listen to what critics say, this movie is a blast and I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun with it!

And as for the post-credits scene with Shadow... I was SUPER HYPED when I first saw this, because Shadow has always been one of my favorite Sonic characters ever since I was a kid. And considering the writers seem to have made it their mission to fix the characters that SEGA broke during the 2010's, let's all hope that Paramount will do Shadow justice as well...

My final score:

5.9/5 (Amazing)

[vrishchikawrites]

LAN XICHEN AND JIANG CHENG:

JC stans want Jiang Cheng to end up with Lan Xichen because he is the First Jade of Lan, while Lan Wangji, who is Wei Wuxian’s husband, is only Second. For once in his miserable life, Jiang Cheng will get the better end of the deal than Wei Wuxian, right? But the thing is, as far as the narrative goes, nobody can beat Hanguang-jun other than Wei Wuxian- his own brother included. We are repeatedly given evidence that Lan Wangji is stronger than Lan Xichen, is more of an expert at the guqin than Lan Xichen, is more skilled in Clan Techniques than Lan Xichen, is more righteous than Lan Xichen, etc. etc. Nobody but Lan Wangji could have survived the 33 whip lashes, fought 33 well-trained Elders while also protecting his dying beloved, undertaken dangerous night hunts in desolate areas with no expectations of repayment, and end up Hanguang-jun. When one hears of the name ‘Lan’, one thinks of Hanguang-jun, Lan Wangji, the Second Jade of Lan, and then, Lan Xichen, his brother, the First Jade. Lan Wangji did have more freedom than Lan Xichen, but it is not that much more, and thus we can attribute his values and his morals as his own. Where does Xicheng come in? We know that Jiang Cheng does not care about pesky qualities such as honour or integrity, to say nothing of his homophobic tendencies, but if he were to become a “disgusting” cut-sleeve, he would not settle for anything but the best, which Lan Xichen is not. Jiang Cheng is also extremely jealous and vindicative, easy to offend and anger, and can absolutely never handle being below anyone. Lan Xichen might not be as talented as his brother, but he is still leagues better than the “Wielder Of His Own Damn Sword”, Jiang-Zhongzu. They would not mesh well together. But we know all this. Let us talk about Lan Xichen. Rulers should be good to their people and their primary strength should lie in being able to detach themselves from their personal feelings in kingdom-related matters and take a professional approach. In the book’s context, a Sect Leader should be cold and practical in the matters involving the Sect. Jiang Fengmian fails to do this with his wife, and ends up getting most of his Sect killed due to his cowardice. Lan Xichen does this with A-Yao. As Sect Leader, Lan Xichen’s warmth causes less diplomatic incidents, since he is good with pacifying and mollifying prickly Sect Heads, but he can be easily swayed by weakness, real or feigned, and such beliefs work to his disadvantage. One more thing I would like to point out is that Lan Wangji, after losing the love of his life and being whipped 33 times (with a Spiritual Weapon) for treason, only remained in seclusion long enough to heal his body. If he could function in such a painful situation, all the while caring for an orphaned child and watching his brother happily interact with the person most responsible for, why could not Lan Xichen? He wasn’t even physically impaired! Oh boo-hoo, my most trusted friend of 20 years betrayed me and killed my Sworn Brother? Yes! Yes, he did, and it was a most traumatising thing to do, but he did not do it without your own help and encouragement! It is not Lan Xichen’s fault for being taken by a Master Manipulator, of course, but it is his fault for being passive and taking the easy way out 2/3 times in order not to upset his Sworn Brothers and the rest of the elitist Cultivation World! There are metas that state that once Lan Xichen is given confirmation of ill-will and misdeeds, he does not hesitate to choose the path of righteousness and conviction, but it is the time that he takes to obtain such confirmations is what irks me. He makes no moves of his own, does not go out of his way to investigate events he himself was suspicious about until his brother encourages (read: forces by showing unignorable evidence) him to, and spends most of his time after the Siege sitting on his hands (other than rebuilding his Sect, I will give him that) and entertaining A-Yao! *Sigh* This is quite a cruel take on him, and if we view him through the same lens we do

our favourite characters many of his faults will fizzle out quickly, but I just think he should not be let off as scott-free as he currently is being let. If I have misunderstood something, or mentioned anything wrong, please do not hesitate to correct me! It will help with my understanding of his character and help me write better fics.

Dee - This was a submission not an ask - my reply under the cut off

I try not to say much about LXC and maintain a neutral POV on him because he is, from what I read in the novel, a good character. Not perfect and certainly not as wise as he's often made out to be, but good. Honestly, to me he comes across as someone who is somewhat naive, unaware of his own prejudices, but willing to pursue the truth when prompted. He also seems to be a bit stubborn and is very confident in his own judgment. I believe all of that can be attributed to the fact that he's a Sect Heir and a Sect Leader later. He needs to have that solid belief in his judgment to lead.

To me, LWJ and LXC present interesting parallels. Both loved (platonic in LXC's case, love is love) people from lower social classes, both were confronted with somewhat unsavory characteristics. The parallels are very striking, tbh.

LWJ loved a morally strong man - LXC loved a morally weak one.

LWJ's love for WWX enlightened him - LXC's love for JGY blinded him.

LWJ took WWX to task on every mistake - LXC covered up or made excuses for JGY's red flags.

WWX's taught LWJ to challenge and question everything - JGY taught LXC to trust blindly and accept excuses.

LWJ learned to fight, even if it meant disrupting peace - LXC learned to look the other way in order to maintain peace.

It wasn't until LXC was pushed by LWJ and WWX that he took action but he still took action. Arguably, it would've been just as painful for LXC to suspect JGY as it would've been LWJ to suspect WWX. When you love someone and their character sinks to the gutter, the hurt is immeasurable. It is nearly the worst betrayal you can face. I don't blame LXC for wanting to avoid it.

Also, LXC had a lot of reasons to act the way he did. As readers, we have the benefit of hindsight but when people are confronted with difficult situations and insufficient information, they act differently. So yeah, it is a bit dissatisfying that he doesn't get called out for some of this foolishness, but honestly, it is a minor thing.

As for LXC and JC, I agree. It is definitely a way to one-up WWX with the 'better' Lan. We don't really know how skilled LXC is and how he can stand against LWJ or WWX. I'm rather certain he's stronger than JC at any rate. JGY was able to fight and defeat JC but he had to trick both LXC and LWJ into sealing their powers. His cultivation is strong. He's just not as sharp and intelligent as LWJ and WWX are but they're exceptional.

[gingersnapwolves]

The Untamed, a brief summary [Part 1/6]

Okay my friends, I have heard your calls. Here’s my play-by-play version of The Untamed.

Note the first: I’m dividing it up into sections because it is, after all, a 50 episode series and I doubt anyone will want to wade through it all in one go.

Note the second: I am going to try to be as unbiased as possible. There are different ways to interpret some of the characters’ actions, especially later in the show when things get morally complex. You can find oceans of meta on this stuff, so I will try not to pick a side when at all possible. 

Note the third: I’m going to keep the tone pretty light and humorous. This show gets *dark* in the middle but y’all are reading a summary and I don’t want it to get too dry or too depressing. Please pardon me if I am flippant from time to time.

Part One: Sword Wizard School

I thought about doing a character guide but decided it would be easier to introduce you to characters as we meet them, because there are a LOT of characters. However, I am going to give you a brief primer on the important families/places.

Actually, let me back up a little further. The Untamed is a xianxia drama, so it’s about people trying to become immortal celestial beings. They fight monsters and do a lot of magic, and they live in clans/sects. A clan is a family. A sect is a cultivation style/school. The terms are often used interchangeably (even I’m guilty) but they are not exactly the same. Members of a clan will belong to that sect, but the sect will also take in outsiders to train, who are sect members but not clan members.

There are five Great Sects:

Province: Yunmeng; sect: Jiang, home: Lotus Pier

Province: Gusu, sect: Lan, home: Cloud Recesses

Province: Lanling, sect: Jin, home: Koi/Carp Tower

Province: Qinghe, sect: Nie, home: The Unclean Realm (this is not to say it is dirty, it’s from Buddhism and might also translate to ‘The Worldly Realm’)

Province: Qishan, sect: Wen, home: Nightless City/Nevernight (depending on translation) 

Here’s a map I made for my fic reference which shows roughly where these provinces are in relation to each other. I may have pretended they were cities in America so I could calculate mileage. Yes I am the world’s biggest nerd, thanks.

H’okay! The show is not in chronological order but I am going in chronological order because the point is to make this simple for you. I’ll admit that I may not get everything 100% correct because it’s been a while since I watched parts of it but I’ll try.

Setting: Caiyi Town, [Gusu]

ENTER A GREMLIN.

Meet Wei Wuxian. He is a 16 year old chaos gremlin with ADHD. He does not look 16 but actors in American dramas pretending to be teenagers also do not look 16 so we’ll let that go. He is with his adopted brother (also 16ish, but younger than Wei Wuxian) Jiang Cheng, and his adopted older sister, Jiang Yanli (probably about 6 years older).

Oh, right. Names. Most characters have two names, a birth name and a ‘courtesy’ name which is a fancy name they get when they’re old enough to get their swords and stuff. They also have titles. For the sake of not driving y’all crazy, I will choose the most commonly used name for the character and stick with it, and then give you a chart at the end so you’ll understand fanfiction.

Wei Wuxian and his siblings are headed to Sword Wizard School in Gusu, hosted by the Lan sect. Wei Wuxian is clearly planning to Be Himself during these lectures, and Jiang Cheng does Not Approve. Jiang Cheng is obviously very serious and concerned with appearances, which makes sense because he is the sect heir. As an adopted son, Wei Wuxian can goof off; Jiang Cheng does not have that luxury. (Wei Wuxian is the son of two of Jiang Cheng’s father’s friends, who died when he was young. More on this later.) Jiang Cheng reminds Wei Wuxian and the other disciples that are with them that they are representing the Jiang sect and they should make a good impression.

They don’t think they can get to Cloud Recesses before dark so they get rooms at an inn.

ENTER A SNOB.

Jin Zixuan is the next fun character you’ll meet. He’s also 16 or thereabouts despite looking 24 at minimum. He is a sect heir to the Lanling Jin and he does not like being near or interacting with strangers. He pays the innkeeper to rent the whole inn and throw any other guests out. Is this a dick move? I’m trying to be unbiased here, so yes. Yes it is.

Wei Wuxian tries to flirt with a couple of Jin Zixuan’s retainers to get them to allow the Yunmeng siblings to stay, but Jin Zixuan decides to be a big jerk about it. Fun fact! Jin Zixuan is betrothed to Jiang Yanli! He is literally throwing his betrothed out of an inn so he doesn’t have to share a building with people. Wei Wuxian gets pissy and picks a fight with him but Jiang Yanli convinces him that he’s not worth it (although she is much nicer about it than any of us would be in her shoes), and they decide to head up to Cloud Recesses despite the time.

But alas! In their haste, they leave their invitation behind.

ENTER AN ICE PRINCE

As the Yunmeng trio try to talk their way past the gate, Lan Wangji arrives. Also 16, he is your classic stoic, repressed gay, and is the younger brother of the Lan Sect leader. With him are a bunch of Lan cultivators and a guy on a stretcher who is clearly in rough shape. The Lan cultivators carry him inside.

Wei Wuxian, pure of heart and dumb of ass, decides that this is a great time to try to talk his way through the gate, figuring that Lan Wangji, being an important person, can let them in. Lan Wangji reacts about how you would expect a stoic repressed gay would to a cute boy flirting with him for the first time: uses a silencing spell on him, tells him he’s absolutely not admitted without their invitation, and locks them out. 

Jiang Cheng, who has spent the last 3 minutes desperately trying to get his brother to shut up before he gets them all in trouble, sends him back to town to find the invitation.

Int. Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

ENTER A SOFT MAN AND HIS EXTREMELY STARCHED UNCLE

Lan Xichen, the head of the Lan sect and Lan Wangji’s older brother, is studying the guy they brought in, with his uncle. Lan Xichen is young for a sect leader (he’s only 19 in the book but probably 24-25ish in the show) and his uncle advises him a lot of the time. The guy they brought is kind of dead but also kind of not. They say a bunch of stuff you won’t understand if you have not seen xianxia dramas before. It’s not really important.

Ext. Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

RE-ENTER THE GREMLIN

Wei Wuxian has come back with the invitation to find the rest of his sect no longer waiting outside and all of Cloud Recesses sealed by wards. “Wards are made to be broken,” he says, demonstrating a clear lack of understanding of their purpose. It’s a good thing he’s here for school.

He breaks in, carrying a couple jars of liquor, only to find Lan Wangji standing guard. Lan Wangji reprimands him for breaking important Lan sect rules like a) not breaking and entering, b) not coming in after dark, and c) bringing alcohol, which is forbidden. Wei Wuxian offers him one of the jars because he is 16 and stupid and for some reason thought a bribe was what this situation needed. Lan Wangji pulls a sword on him, which is definitely a reasonable response and not because he has his first boner and he’s angry about it.

They have a sword fight, basically to a draw. Lan Wangji drags him in to see Lan Xichen, who clearly thinks this is hilarious. Wei Wuxian blames everything on Jin Zixuan and Lan Wangji. He also says intelligent things about the not-a-corpse they’re examining, because the writers wanted us to know that he’s not a whole dumbass. Lan Xichen basically slaps him on the wrist, tells him to behave himself and sends him off to the guest house his siblings were given, and then teases Lan Wangji about Baby’s First Crush.

Ext, Nightless City [Qishan]

ENTER AN OVER THE TOP VILLAIN AND HIS HENCHMEN

Nightless City isn’t actually nightless. It’s just never dark there because it’s on top of a volcano, because that’s where all the cool villains live.

This is the home of the Qishan Wen, who are Obviously Evil from the Black Outfits, Volcano Lair, and Shuffling Zombies. Their leader is Wen Ruohan. His personality is that he is evil. He’s saying a bunch of stuff you won’t understand yet and then sends his Obnoxious Son Wen Chao off to look for something. He also sends Wen Qing, who is related to him somehow, presumably. She asks if she can bring her brother, Wen Ning, and Wen Ruohan says sure because all he cares about is Being Evil in his Zombie Volcano Lair.

Int, Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

ENTER A SLACKER and his friend, EVERY RETAIL EMPLOYEE DEALING WITH A KAREN YOU’VE EVER MET. 

They’re all at the first lecture, and there’s a ceremony where each visiting sect presents a gift to Lan Qiren (the uncle/teacher). I think we might see what the Jin give him but I don’t care. Right now we’re talking about Nie Huaisang, the younger brother of the sect leader of the Nie sect. He is baby. He has brought a bird to class for no reason other than that he caught it and thinks it’s cool. Presenting to the dour and stern Lan Qiren makes him nervous.

With him is Meng Yao. Unlike everyone else you’ve met so far, Meng Yao is not a member of the gentry. He is the son of the Jin sect leader and a prostitute. (Yes, this makes him Jin ‘I can’t breathe the same air as commoners’ Zixuan’s younger brother.) When he was old enough to do Sword Magic he went to the Jin sect and asked for admittance, and his father had him thrown down a set of 200 steps because his father is an Enormous Douche. (That’s not biased. Hating this dude is one of the few things everyone agrees on.) Then he went to the Nie sect, and they said, “Sure, you can come in, but you’re not really a disciple, mmkay?” and he said sure. But he has worked his way up to being the assistant to the sect leader which is a pretty important position for someone with his background. 

Naturally, because Meng Yao is Not Like the Others, a few people take this opportunity to gossip and talk smack about him. Meng Yao is upset but tries not to look it. Lan Xichen takes a moment to reassure him, saying that the Nie sect leader had written to him about what a helpful and awesome assistant he had now, and that Meng Yao obviously lived up to it. Meng Yao immediately develops the world’s Most Obvious Crush Don’t @ Me You Would Too.

ENTER MR. OBNOXIOUS, AN IRON MAIDEN, and A PUPPY. Fortunately these are the last characters you’ll meet for a while.

The Wen sect shows up at the gates of Cloud Recesses like ‘what up, I got a big attitude and fuck you’. The gate dude tells them they can’t come in without an invitation, and Wen Chao attacks him because he was raised in a volcano and they go in anyway. With Wen Chao are Wen Qing and her brother, Wen Ning. They are actually pretty awesome, you just don’t know it yet.

Wen Chao busts in on the Saluting Ceremony just as Jiang Cheng is trying to present their gift, and immediately begins insulting everyone there. You should count yourself fortunate that you’re only reading this because Wen Chao is literally the most obnoxious character in this show. Anyway, Wei Wuxian decides to pick a fight with him even though this is *obviously* a stupid thing to do. (I love Wei Wuxian with my whole heart but he is so stupid at 16 lmao.) He calls Wen Chao out on interrupting Jiang Cheng. Wen Chao reacts completely rationally and calmly BAHAHA who am I kidding, he pulls his sword out. Everyone else pulls their swords out. Wen Qing looks like she has the world’s worst migraine.

Lan Xichen takes out his flute and plays eight seconds of music that makes everyone’s swords go flying into the ceiling. Had I mentioned how awesome Lan Xichen is? Because he is Awesome.

Wen Chao gets even more pissy but Wen Qing shuts him down, saying she and her brother are there for Sword Wizard School and she’s sorry her cousin is such an asshole. Lan Xichen tells them to ‘try to come on time’ tomorrow. Had I mentioned how awesome Lan Xichen is? It bears repeating.

Ext, Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

Wei Wuxian is making fast friends with Nie Huaisang. They decide to go fishing in one of the streams. He sees Wen Qing sneaking around and asks what she’s doing there. She blows him off.

Meng Yao stops Lan Xichen and says goodbye to him. Lan Xichen asks why he’s leaving so soon, and Meng Yao says that he can’t actually stay for the lectures, since he’s only an assistant to the Nie sect, not a disciple. Lan Xichen tells him that Nie Mingjue (the head of the Nie sect) is just and honorable and will surely reward him for working so hard. They make heart eyes at each other for like a solid thirty seconds before Meng Yao manages to leave.  I’m sorry, I’m trying to be unbiased. They gaze at each other longingly – no, shit, that’s still biased. They, uh, regard each other with mutual respect for thirty solid seconds and then Meng Yao leaves.

Meanwhile Jiang Cheng is Fretting about the fact that Wei Wuxian is Making a Bad Impression. He ain’t seen nothing yet. Jiang Yanli calms him down.

Wen Qing talks to her brother Wen Ning and is sad because he’s sick. She promises him that someday they’ll be able to leave Nightless City.

Int, Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

Lan Qiren is lecturing. Wei Wuxian proposes some casual heresy. Lan Qiren gets mad and tells him to copy the Chapter of Conduct a thousand times, and throws him out of class. Jiang Cheng tries to crawl under his desk.

Instead of going to copy lines, Wei Wuxian wanders off and meets A PUPPY, ie Wen Ning. He is practicing his archery. Wei Wuxian proceeds to help him with his stance and Wen Ning looks like he just discovered his bisexuality. Wen Qing sees them together and is clearly not thrilled. Wei Wuxian asks her why she’s always wandering around the back hills of Cloud Recesses and asks if she’s looking for something. She tells him not to be stupid and leaves with her brother.

Lan Wangji drags Wei Wuxian back to the library for his punishment. Wei Wuxian proceeds to spend the next few hours doing Everything That Is Not That, which culminates in him exchanging Lan Wangji’s book for some porn when he’s not looking. Lan Wangji tears the porn up and tells him to piss off.

~romance~

Jiang Cheng: I hope you’re proud of yourself.

Wei Wuxian: I absolutely am.

They go back to their guest house. Wen Qing is there. She’s a doctor! Told you she was awesome. Jiang Yanli wasn’t feeling well and Wen Qing gave her some medicine. They talk about the fact that there aren’t lectures for a few days because Lan Qiren is off doing Official Stuff.

But there’s still fun to be had! There’s a water demon attacking people in the nearby town. Lan Xichen is worried that it’s serious and he’s going to go himself. Lan Wangji goes with him. Wei Wuxian asks if he and Jiang Cheng can go ‘get some practice’ as they fight lots of water demons in Yunmeng. Lan Xichen, remembering his brother’s obvious crush, says sure. Wen Ning wants to go too. So does Wen Qing. Lan Xichen suddenly feels like a chaperone on a field trip but says fine because he’s the cool older brother.

Wei Wuxian takes the opportunity to ask questions about the not-a-corpse from earlier. Lan Xichen politely tells him that’s it handled and not to worry about it. Wei Wuxian thinks there’s something he’s not telling him, and he mentions that to Lan Wangji, who agrees but won’t say so. Wei Wuxian can tell anyway because he’s learning to read Lan Wangji’s microexpressions.

They fight a water demon. Jiang Cheng gets injured and Wen Qing patches him up. He looks at her with puppy eyes. Some dumbass loses his sword in the water. Wen Ning tries to help him despite being uniquely unqualified to do so, and passes out. Wei Wuxian tries to rescue both of them, and Lan Wangji ends up rescuing all three of them despite clearly wanting to let the water demon eat them. Jiang Cheng buys a comb to give to Wen Qing but chickens out and doesn’t give it to her. Wei Wuxian deduces that Wen Ning’s illness is because of a previous bad experience with ghostly spirits or something, and gives Wen Qing a talisman to give to her brother that will help protect him from monsters. He says that no matter what she’s looking for at Cloud Recesses, he hopes the talisman will help Wen Ning.

Then he tries to buy Lan Wangji some fruit as a gift. Lan Wangji refuses to look at him. Lan Xichen starts mentally writing wedding invitations.

Ext. Nightless City [Qishan]

ENTER AN EDGELORD (sorry I forgot about him, in fact I think this happened earlier but the timing isn’t really important)

Meet Xue Yang. You have no idea who he is. Wen Ruohan is demanding he hand over something called yin iron. Xue Yang’s response to this is basically ‘choke me harder, Daddy’ and you’re left feeling vaguely disturbed.

Int. Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

It’s party time! Wei Wuxian smuggled some liquor back with him. He, Jiang Cheng, and Nie Huaisang get drunk. They give Jiang Cheng a hard time about his high standards for women.

Lan Wangji comes in like the hall monitor you hated in high school to break it up. Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang run away. Wei Wuxian uses a talisman on Lan Wangji to keep him from reporting them and make him take a drink of the alcohol. We all remind ourselves very firmly that he is only 16 and will do stupid shit, despite wanting to slap him. Lan Wangji has never had alcohol before and one drink makes him blackout drunk. Wei Wuxian has to babysit him for the rest of the night. Serves him right.

The next day, they’re all in trouble, even Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian tries to tell Lan Qiren that it’s not Lan Wangji’s fault, but Lan Wangji accepts his punishment anyway. They get hit with a stick a bunch of times.

Lan Wangji goes to recuperate in the cold springs. Lan Xichen, the world’s biggest troll, sends Wei Wuxian to do the same. Lan Wangji nearly has an aneurysm when Wei Wuxian tries to start taking his clothes off.

ENTER THE PLOT

They get pulled underwater and end up in a cave. It’s a magic cave where only members of the Lan clan are allowed to be. To keep the cave from killing him, Lan Wangji wraps his Magic Forehead Ribbon around Wei Wuxian’s wrist. This is the same magic forehead ribbon he told Wei Wuxian ten episode minutes ago that only parents, spouses, and children are allowed to touch. Draw what conclusions you will.

There’s a ghostly lady in the cave who is Lan Wangji’s ancestor. She tells them Evil Is Abroad. A long time ago a dude named Xue Chonghai took a bunch of pieces of metal and filled them full of evil energy. Everyone banded together and killed him, but the metal couldn’t be completely destroyed, so it was split into ‘the cardinal directions’ and then sealed and hidden. Ah ha! This is what Wen Ruohan is looking for! It’s called Evil MacGuffin yin iron.

Wei Wuxian says if it’s so powerful, why don’t they use it to fight back? Ghost lady says she tried that but it’s too evil and it doesn’t work. She gives them the piece that was sealed in the cave and tells them to go fight evil together. Lan Wangji is glad it’s too cold to have a boner.

Except then she throws them out of the cave and onto dry land and Wei Wuxian lands on top of him and he definitely gets one from that. Sorry, Lan Wangji, I don’t make the rules.

They’ve been missing for two days and everyone is really upset, especially Jiang Cheng, who thinks Wei Wuxian was just goofing off.

Lan Xichen takes the piece of yin iron they got in the cave and seals it in a pouch. They discuss the fact that Wen Ruohan is clearly collecting the pieces of yin iron and this is Bad News Bears. The yin iron will respond to other pieces of yin iron so they decide they should use the piece they have to locate the other pieces.

But first, classes are over! Despite the fact that each of these events has led seamlessly into the next and it seems like they’ve been there a week, they’ve actually been there six months. If you dealt with the Teen Wolf ‘timeline’ I assume you can deal with that lmao.

There’s a lantern-lighting ceremony to celebrate. Wei Wuxian paints a rabbit on his lantern because there were a bunch of rabbits in the cave and Lan Wangji clearly likes rabbits. This makes Lan Wangji smile for the first time. They all light their lanterns and make a wish.

Wei Wuxian wishes he can stand with justice and live without regrets. Lan Wangji looks at him like he’s about to propose. Wen Qing wishes she could protect her little brother and that he’ll always be safe. Jiang Cheng looks at her like he’s about to propose. Nie Huaisang wishes he can pass his classes and get the hell out of high school. Truly, the most relatable.

But the moment is ruined because people start teasing Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli, asking why they didn’t light a lantern together and wish for a happy marriage. Jin Zixuan, the paragon of reacting reasonably to things, storms off. He tells his sect members he doesn’t want to hear about the marriage and they should stop bringing it up. Wei Wuxian overhears and they get into a fight. Jiang Yanli manages to get Wei Wuxian to back off.

The next day, Wei Wuxian is being punished for punching a jerk in the face. He is kneeling on the rocks of the courtyard. But he’s already gotten distracted because there’s an anthill and he has ADHD. Lan Wangji calls him ‘unteachable’ and stomps off, clearly mad at his boner like usual.

Because this is kind of important, the two sect leaders have showed up to hash it out. Jiang Yanli’s dad says ‘listen, if your son doesn’t want to marry my daughter, we shouldn’t force him’. Jin Zixuan’s dad says, ‘kids are stupid and they don’t know what they want’. Jiang Yanli’s dad says, ‘well I absolutely agree your son is stupid but he’s being a jerk to my daughter so why don’t we politely call this off before something happens that makes one of us impolitely call it off’, and Jin Zixuan’s dad agrees. Jiang Yanli is upset, although why she actually wanted to marry Jin Zixuan is beyond everyone involved, including the audience. Then again it can’t be easy to hear that some dude who has barely even met you has decided you’re not good enough for him.

Meanwhile, Wei Wuxian sees Lan Xichen telling Lan Wangji ‘be careful’ and correctly deduces that Lan Wangji is leaving with the yin iron to try to find the other pieces, while Lan Xichen stays behind to protect Cloud Recesses since the Wen sect thinks it’s still there. He leaves a note that says ‘gone monster hunting, meet you back at home!’ Jiang Cheng nearly has an aneurysm, especially when his dad is like ‘lmao that kid is such a dumbass’.

~end Sword Wizard School~

okay, guys, what did you think? was this helpful? could you follow it? was it at least vaguely entertaining? should I keep going?

[itsclydebitches]

The thing that feels disingenuous about Miles answer about Ironwood is that he was part of the writing staff that framed the general as a cool character to start with. I do think that the signs about Ironwood's evil were clear since V2 and in V7 he was an outright dictator from episode 1. Nonetheless, he was still consistently framed as a cool character, someone you can trust and rely. You don't get to blame the fans for liking a genocide if you was the one framed him as cool in the first place.

I actually don’t think being cool is the problem. If we’re satirizing and/or making a  statement about the toxic masculinity that leads to something like a dictatorship, then being “cool” is a crucial part of that. People don’t leverage the power they have by looking lame, they do so by appearing desirable, enviable, awesome. Being in the military is supposedly “cool.” Being a white guy with a giant gun is supposedly “cool.” Having power over an entire nation is supposedly “cool,” etc. If you only make such characters look revolting  — even when they are  — then you miss one of the main recruitment tools for this kind of rhetoric. Any version of Ironwood that’s meant to make a point about the dangers of following someone like him needs to make him look “cool” and then deconstruct that, pointing out the ways in which this cool veneer is a lie meant to pull you in. To do otherwise is to claim that evil people are always easy to spot. Making your villains “uncool” implies that the people who do appear cool in real life must be fine then. That good looking, charismatic leader is great. Why would I look critically at his actions? He’s too cool to be evil. 

My personal problem is not that “They made the dictator look cool and we can’t possibly expect the audience to tell the difference between someone who is truly good and someone who is just using various Cool Points to skate by” because that would be the point of such a character  — the work the show needs to do. My problem is that RWBY didn’t do that work. At least, not to the extent they needed to. Rather than making Ironwood a truly heinous character (prior to Volume 7 ‘s shooting, I mean) and allowing the audience to learn how appearing cool can’t hide that, they just made him good person. Straight up. Flawed, absolutely, but no worse than any of the other character on screen, particularly post Volume 6 when our heroes are frequently putting people in danger, seizing power, telling lies, keeping secrets, and generally acting in the ways we’re supposedly meant to condemn Ironwood for. Since talk of Miles’ vid last night I’ve seen three separate “Ironwood was always bad, idk how people can miss the signs” posts and those people are half right. There 100% were signs we were meant to pick up on. The problem is RWBY then went and deconstructed those signs. Ironwood didn’t just bring an army to a peace festival, he brought an army to an event he had good reason to believe wasn’t peaceful  — and he was right. Ironwood didn’t wrest control from Ozpin (using a series of checks and balances that exist for this very purpose...) because he has an obsession with being in control, he did so because he honestly believed Ozpin was putting people in danger  — and he was right. Ironwood didn’t step up post-Fall because he arrogantly believes he’s the only one capable of saving Remnant, he did so because he’s actually the most qualified: a fully trained huntsmen leading an Academy (like Ozpin) with an army and knowledge of this secret war. What, was Ironwood supposed to read the script and wait for the group of dropout teenagers to arrive and save the world instead? To say nothing of how his power and responsibility are framed as sacrifices, not something he sought out. Ironwood doesn’t want to be the sole ruler here. His desperate relief at having allies again proves it. Good setup for the rise of a dictator would have been Ironwood being cagey with his information and exerting control over the group... not telling them everything, not giving them more power, not letting them keep the Lamp, not taking arrest off the table so as to keep them in line, and generally doing the opposite of everything he did do to share that responsibility and power. RWBY got very good at giving us the first half of these red flags  — he has an army, he’s stubborn, he’s hurting Mantle, etc.  — but then time and time again introduced a context that changed that flag dramatically: they are fighting literal monsters, he’s no more stubborn than our title character, hurting Mantle is a consequence of a plan he thinks will help the whole world and our heroes back this. Those who insist that Ironwood was 100% a villain in the making (or a villain already) prior to shooting Oscar are working from their assumption of what his archetype represents, not what RT actually put on screen. Because RT is just really bad at writing a dictator character. They didn’t have the skill to manage someone who only appeared good on the surface, let alone a character with the complex nuance of wielding “coolness” to their advantage, which is why in Volume 8 they had to resort to cartoon villainy with literal, evil spotlights. It’s not that the audience is too dumb to pick up on those red flags, it’s that RT couldn’t manage to plant them without continually introducing valid justifications. You can’t say, “Bringing an army is a bad thing. Look at this dictator coding!” without me going, “Yeah, except in the fictional world you created an army does not represent the problems it does in our real life societies. This isn’t a guy amassing soldiers to go after oil, he’s trying to protect people from monsters. Not even metaphoric monsters acting as stand-ins for a minority group. Literal, evil monsters!” RWBY ignores its own context and a good chunk of the fandom ignored it too. 

The problem with that (besides the general frustration of someone ignoring parts of canon to forward a particular reading) is that the fandom’s go-to claim is that everything is meaningful  — and it’s a reading the writers very much support. Fans do not, as the above attests, push for a simple reading of, “Don’t think too hard about it. Just take the surface reading and run with it” which, while still frustrating, would have at least been a valid stance. Rather, they insist very strongly that nuance and depth are what drive the show. From the song lyrics to a tiny detail in the opening, everything is important and if you don’t accept that then you can’t appreciate RWBY’s complexity. 

“Okay,” I said. “Then in that case Ironwood coming around to Ozpin’s position is meaningful too? Glynda  — one of our best and most faultless characters  — supporting him is meaningful? Flipping his gun, defending Weiss, Qrow writing to him, the group working with him for months on end... all of it is meaningful to his characterization? You said so yourself.” 

“No, no, no,” comes the reply. “He’s just bad. But he’s also nuanced. He’s tricked you into thinking he’s a good person by acting kind sometimes, by getting support sometimes, but none of that is true. His actions are what matter and his actions are simplistically bad.” 

“Ohhhh. So then does that mean this story is really about the creation of a villain?” 

“Huh?” 

“Well, Ruby. She’s ‘nuanced’ in the same way. She acts kind sometimes and gets support, but her actions are terrible. She endangered an entire city because she couldn’t wait to see if Ironwood got his letter. She condemned Ozpin for keeping secrets about Salem and then kept those same secrets just two days later. When the kingdom was under attack she sat around drinking tea, crying on a staircase, just hoping someone would come fix things for her  — all while actively sabotaging the one person who was trying to save people, even if that action seems silly to us (let’s fly really high). So if we’re looking at the impact of someone’s actions outside of their intent, as we just did with Ironwood, then she’s a bad guy too, yeah?” 

“No! She’s the hero!” 

“... these characters don’t know she’s the hero from a meta perspective. If we’re supposed to judge the meaning of RWBY based on these details — ” 

“But it’s not just the details. It’s also the allusions. Everyone in RWBY is based on another person or character. It’s very complex and that inspiration drives their story, so if you don’t have that information it’s no surprise you’re confused. For example, this is why Penny had to get a human body. That’s what happened to Pinocchio!” 

“Oh! So then Ironwood is destined to be a good guy!” 

“What?” 

“Well, you just said the allusions drive their stories, right? The whole point of the Tin Man is that he always had a heart and just needed to realize that. So clearly — “ 

“No! He’s supposed to be a classic dictator, he’s only bad!” 

And ‘round and ‘round we go. RWBY’s writing is atrocious yet the fandom pushes this narrative that it’s all a complex, multi-layered story that requires taking every part into account to understand the “real” message... but when you try to do that with certain characters like Ozpin and Ironwood it’s, “No, actually, they’re just simple archetypes of Bad Men.” Nuance exists for the bees, but not other ships. It exists for the characters fans like, but not the ones they don’t. And RWBY’s inspirations have to predict the ending for this character... but not that other character. It’s a nonsense grab bag! 

Fans are right that Ironwood had a lot of red flags to set up this downfall. Fans are also right that those red flags were severely undercut, thus reversing their impact. Fans are right that Ironwood becomes a 100% bad guy who kills because he can and threatens to bomb a city. Fans are also right that this characterization feels absurd for Ironwood, both in terms of his morality and his intelligence (how does bombing Mantle help you now??) Ironwood is badly written. He was badly written in 7 and 8, if he was always meant to be a dictator in the making then he was badly written in 2-6, and he’s conclusively badly written when it comes to lacking a backstory and a canonical semblance  — two things are are supposedly driving all of this characterization. That’s the answer: not that he’s good, or bad, but that RWBY can’t write a consistent character, let alone a nuanced one, so it’s no surprise the fandom can’t decide on anything. What’s there to decide on? It’s that nonsense grab bag. In a different show I think making the dictator appear cool would be a crucial bit of commentary, but RWBY doesn’t have the skill to pull that off. 

[me4ml]

Why don't you like Maribat? Why do you think it's a spite or salt ship?

This is presumably because of my Adrigaminette post or the whole Maribat being on the ship list thing.

Quick disclaimer: if you read/ship/write/like Maribat, cool! This is not an attack. This is me answering why I, personally, do not like it. It’s tagged anti, and salt, so it should be filtered. Please don’t harass me over it.

Another note before we start: a lot of what I’m about to write is based on what I’ve read, fic wise or meta, and I blocked off the Maribat tag and fandom a long time ago. It may have changed over there-I doubt it, and I have zero desire to go and look-but this is based on what I’ve seen and read about.

There are, principally, three reasons I can’t stand Maribat, why I think it’s a spite/salt ship.

1). I don’t like Damian Wayne.

2). I don’t like how Damian and the DCU are written in Maribat.

3). Maribat is a mutated salt fic.

If you want to see my reasons why, the rest is under the read more.

1). I don’t like Damian Wayne.

Damian’s not just my least favorite Robin, ranking behind any of the others who have born the name. He’s my least favorite Batfam sidekick overall.

Part of this is his introduction, where he’s a violent, murderous, arrogant, entitled, snotty little brat of a thug. Lest we forget, one of his first acts is to go out, kill a guy, cut off his head, stuff a grenade into the decapitated head’s mouth, and try to blow up Tim. This is his introduction! There are a number of other occasions, including how he treats Jon, his best friend, and the rest of his siblings.

Another part is that he believes that he deserves to be Robin simply because he’s Bruce’s son, and therefore has the blood right to be Robin, to become Batman, and damn anyone else, who are all pretenders. Doesn’t matter that those characters might have a right to become Robin, or the future Batman, he’s the bio son, he deserves it!

Additionally, Damian feels.....not unnecessary, but repetitive, in his actions/characterization. There are other characters who can perform pretty much the same way for whatever storyline is necessary, without including Damian.

Trained by an abusive family to be the best, as an assassin and warrior? Cassandra.

A killer who breaks the main rule of his mentor, which causes tension and strain in the family? Jason.

Incredibly intelligent and talented? Tim.

Damian isn’t unique in what he does, and while that can make him an interesting character, it can also make the focus on him unnecessary.

As well, so much of Damian’s actions and motivations feels like he gets away with stuff, in-universe, because he’s Bruce’s biological son, and so Bruce gives him too much slack, and out-universe, because the writers let him/the fans will defend him. He gets woobified, or leather pantsed. Which leads to:

2). I don’t like how Damian and the DCU are written for Maribat.

For all his (numerous) faults, when written well, Damian can be an interesting character. For example: How does he deal with being deeply insecure? By putting on a mask of arrogance and overconfidence.

Some more examples: How does Damian act like an actual child, when he’s never had a childhood? How can he be a hero, if he’s been trained to be a killer? Can he ever catch up to his siblings, or will he feel like they’re always better than him?

Damian’s sense of being Batman’s son, of being the heir to the Cowl, slams right up against the idea of the Batfam: that there are people who have just as much of a right to call Batman their father/father figure, people who are just as talented and skilled and capable as Damian himself is, if not more. Watching Damian develop, when he’s written right, is actually enjoyable; mainly because when it’s done right, it shows Damian actually progressing and growing, becoming more of a person, with friends and interests. Most times, seeing Damian with his pets can be adorable, same with when he hangs out with Jon.

Is he still a brat? Still sometimes a bit too much of a Demon, an al-Ghul? Yes, but that’s always going to be part of him, and as long as he’s shown to try and grow, or gets called out on that, it’s less of an issue (There’s a completely different rant to be written about how DC likes to chuck character development or backstory into the trash when it suits them for a new run. Damian gets hit with this, as does Tim, or they get handed the idiot/conflict ball, but not the space for it).

Maribat hurls this all out the window. Damian’s bad traits are all “fixed” offscreen-he’s developed, matured, gotten better, whatever you want to call it. It’s basically a writer’s hand wave to make Damian into the character who will be the lead of the story, perfectly suited for his main role of being Marinette’s boyfriend and utterly devoted to her every whim and will. He’s enchanted by her at first glimpse, and defends her against everyone who hates her, because no one can understand her like he can!

Uh, what? This is not Damian Wayne. Even at his best, he’s no broody boy, pulled from his “dark path” by the love of a gentle girl. He’s a Jerk with a Heart of Gold-emphasis on the Jerk. There’s a reason his nickname usually involves “Demon.” Is Damian trying to get better? Yes. But even then, he’s not the type to immediately fall in love. He takes a while to warm up to people, for them to earn his trust, and Marinette would not be like that?

Let’s say that Robin is in Paris for a case, he runs into Ladybug and Chat, and after they explains what’s going on, Robin gives them a stare over his mask, and goes “TT! What a worthless hero, I would have caught him already.” LB and Chat would probably want to deck him, and that’s before he keeps talking.

Same with if Damian transfers to the class, or they meet on a field trip to Gotham. Damian’s not gonna care about some random French teenagers on a tour, or if he was transferred he’s gonna be trying to figure out why his father sent him to Paris, and be focused on the mission, not making friends.

Of all of the Robins, the ones that would be the most likely to capture Marinette’s interest would be Dick or Tim, not Damian. He would remind her too much of Chloe, as Damian, and as Robin, he would be dismissive of Ladybug’s abilities, which would absolutely piss her, and Chat Noir, off.

In characters that aren’t Damian, no one seems to be written properly over in Maribatland. One huge example is that Marinette is so beloved, so pure, that she can make any character fall in love with her, and reform by her pure goodness, including a fic where the Joker-THE JOKER!-becomes her “Uncle J,” and pranks Lila on her behalf.

Uh-huh. Sure. Completely and totally something that one of the biggest, most sadistic twisted, notorious villains in pop culture would do. Maribat winds up worshipping the ground that Marinette walks on, cause she’s “Teh best evar!”

Which then leads to my third and final point:

3). The whole Maribat concept is a mutated salt fic.

Most of the themes you’ll find in Maribat? You will find in nearly every salt fic.

Maybe my biggest issue with the whole Maribat idea is that it doesn’t feel like a proper crossover, which, at their best, explore how characters from one universe and their rules would interact with characters from another universe, and the rules of that one. Putting ML and DC together is a rich opportunity to play with concepts in both worlds!

And yet, it’s mainly used to bash ML characters who the writers despise, predominantly Adrien, Alya, and Lila, with members of the class thrown in depending on feeling, and potentially even Marinette’s parents! The only “good” ML characters are the ones who are on Marinette’s side, usually Luka, Kagami, a Chloe who for some reason has been redeemed and is now Marinette’s best friend, and whatever members of the class the writer decides to throw in there.

You’ll notice it’s not called “MiracuBat”, or LadyBat and Bat Noir-it’s MariBat. It’s meant as a focus on Marinette, making her-the hero of the Miraculous Ladybug franchise, someone in-story in story who is incredibly smart and talented and the leader of her team, future Guardian-even more awesome.....by beating down everyone else around her.

Marinette is simultaneously treated as an beaten-up, beaten-down walked-on carpet, and the best person to ever exist ever, go who only needs a group of new, different, better people to recognize that and save her from the clutches of those greedy and ungrateful assholes! That doesn’t include the fics where she’s the unknown child of a superhero or supervillain, making her even more special.

It’s Chameleon salt, class salt, with pointy ears and a cape on.

Some specific examples.

Adrien: Adrien is a spineless doormat who prioritizes Lila over Marinette, or an entitled bastard sexual harasser, only fixated on Ladybug, or even both. Sometimes it’ll get worse, as Adrien will threaten or abandon Marinette if she steps off of his “high road,” and Chat will be a budding rapist, stalking or capturing Marinette after he’s learned she’s Ladybug, while ignoring her prior to that. He will, of course, have his ring stripped and handed off to Damian, who is the “true” soul of Destruction and so therefore a “perfect match” to Marinette’s Creation soul. Occasionally it will be Jason, or Tim, or Dick, but the key thing is that it’s not Adrien!

While Damian’s issues are magically fixed, Adrien gets no such courtesy. Adrien has been abused, just like Damian, and while Damian’s abuse is more extensive and extreme, abuse is abuse. If anything, if Damian met Adrien, he would probably see another abused kid, and want to be his friend/have his “adopt stray person!” Instincts go off. I can much more imagine Damian dragging a bewildered Adrien into the Batcave and yelling “Father I’ve found another one for you to adopt!” than I can Damian immediately hating Adrien, or Chat, simply for breathing.

We never see Clark taking Adrien under his wing, or Bruce, or any of the other Batfam; nor any of the other Justice Leaguers. We never see Selina try to fight Bruce over the kid, because he’s cat-themed, and Selina can train him, this one’s hers Bat, get off!

Adrien’s never treated as a kid, or given actual development. A major complaint among salters is that Adrien is treated as perfect and never develops, and in fic, rather than developing him, Adrien either remains static, with his flaws narratively exploded, or is developed negatively. He’s there to be beaten up on and punished by the writers, if not actually physically beaten up by characters in the fic.

Alya: the not-so-good friend, the cheap excuse for a journalist, the awful person who abandons Marinette for Lila and her “connections.” Never mind that Alya was Marinette’s friend from the beginning, or that Marinette’s chosen her multiple times for a Miraculous. One instance of questioning Marinette about Lila, and Alya’s a backstabbing bitch.

Maribat treats Alya as neglectful, bossy, domineering and submissive at the same time to Marinette and Lila respectively, and as a journalist, the worst of the worst. She’s played as a two-bit paparazzo, and once again, the DCU is used to punish her. We don’t see Alya get mentored by Lois or Clark-indeed, if they notice her, it’s with disdain or disappointment. Often, they’re crushing her under their heel, calling her not only a bad journalist, but a bad friend/person. This forgetting, of course, that Alya runs her blog as a hobby so far, she’s only a teenager, and that she’s had Marinette’s back against Chloe and Lila.

The Class: the dupes or allies as needed. Class salt levels depend on what the writer needs. If they’re pro-class, they’re all on Marinette’s side, aside from Alya Adrien and Lila. Chloe, for some ungodly reason, is “redeemed” nigh instantaneously, and often will become Marinette’s best friend, if that isn’t Kagami already. Kagami will drop Adrien like a wet tissue, never trying to reconcile him with the clas, or encourage him to stand up for himself, or if she does, Adrien, of course, will not listen.

If the writer is anti-class, whoo boy. Openly mentally, emotionally, physically abusive to Marinette, the worst gang of people you would ever have the displeasure of meeting, they all need to be in Arkham.

We never see any of the class make friends with the Batfam, the Titans, Young Justice-unless they’re on Marinette’s side, of course. There’s no Alix stopping Selina at the Louvre, for instance, or Max hanging out with Babs. It’s all based on how Marinette is treated as to whether or not the class is portrayed as being worse than the worst of the Rogues Gallery.

Wrapping it all up, Maribat has made me dislike the entire concept of a DC/ML crossover.

Even if someone had written an non-salt, in-character crossover, I don’t know if I would read it, simply because the well has been that poisoned.

[missnight0wl]

What do you think of Rowan, Ben, Penny and Merula's Patronus? Though I don't like Merula very much, I still think she is able to conjure one.

I’m putting it under the cut because it turned out a bit lengthy.

Rowan

I used to think of an Owl for Rowan because, y’know, it's “a symbol of wisdom” and all. But when I got this ask, I remembered that I found the site on Irish Astrology just days earlier – the same Rowling was using for birthdates and wand wood of the Golden Trio. Interestingly, each sign has assigned an animal there, and since the rowan tree is one of them, I decided to check it to find out that it’s a crane or a green dragon. A dragon makes me think of Charlie, but I did a little bit of digging on another option, and I have to say – I think I’m gonna stick with a Crane Patronus for Rowan.

This is what I found on the Crane symbolism:

Throughout Asia, the crane is considered as a bird of happiness and prosperity. The Japanese, Chinese, and Korean traditions relate it to longevity and fidelity.

Aristotle wrote about this bird that it always held a stone in its mouth so that if it fell asleep and the stone would fall down, the bird would wake. Thus crane symbolism came to be linked with vigilance.

I also checked Indian symbolism since Rowan is part Indian, and I found this:

[The Sarus crane] is also known as the eternal symbol of unconditional love and devotion and good fortune.

Interestingly, cranes are monogamous and they mate for life. That’s actually why in Japan, they’re often incorporated in wedding décor!

Overall, we have pretty positive symbolism. The parts about devotion and unconditional love sum Rowan up as a friend pretty well. We also have a part about vigilance which again is pretty fitting for Rowan who was probably the most aware from all of our friends that MC is indeed in constant danger – and that’s why they were suspicious of Ben (not because they simply didn’t like Ben – let’s remember that Rowan and Ben were friends at the end of a day).

Admittedly, “in some cultures, the meanings of crane birds can be negative: they represent deception, a harbinger of death, and even the symbol of the devil.” However, it’s actually a bit meta, considering all the people suspecting Rowan of being a traitor.

Ben

I really like the idea of a Lion Patronus for Ben. A Patronus form is not only about representing one’s personality, but also “the Patronus represents that which is hidden, unknown but necessary within the personality” - and it fits Ben’s bravery so nicely. I talk here mostly about Old Ben, but that’s also a pretty old idea of mine. I mean, Ben was always super brave when his friends needed it, he just couldn’t really accept it himself. I also find it kind of heart-warming to imagine Old Ben being intimidated by his own Patronus at first, only to become more and more comfortable around it with time.

Another thing, I remember reading once someone else’s point that it could be a funny reference to the Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz – which, now that I think about it, Ben would be probably familiar with as a Muggleborn!

Now, as for New Ben… Well, honestly, I don’t think that Ben would be able to cast Patronus Charm at this very moment. He probably still feels too much guilt for Rowan’s death and whatnot. Still, I remembered a discussion I had with my friend after Rakepick’s Patronus was finally revealed, and she pointed out then that male lions tend to kill little cubs if they defeat a previous male lion and take over his pack. Y’know, to eliminate wrong genes. And you know what? It’s kind of what Ben did with his old self. Before the end of Y5, Ben had a pretty good understanding of bravery. There was that very sweet moment in the O.W.L.s TLSQ, for example:

But then, the end of Y5 happened, and Ben was like: “Nope. I know no fear and THAT’S bravery”.

Either way, I do hope that Ben will eventually return on his path of a healthy balance between his old and new self, and I have a feeling that a Lion would still be a pretty good match then.

Penny

Probably an unpopular opinion, but I always thought that Penny’s Patronus should be some kind of a predator. I once even proposed a Black Panther, but I didn’t have a lot of reasoning behind it, to be honest. Now, I think I’m gonna change it anyway, and I’ll say that Penny would have a Fox Patronus. This is information I found on it:

The fox is a natural trickster, and brilliantly charismatic. Those with this Patronus are often more reserved, but do have the social capability to speak to just about anyone. They are strongly ambitious and observant of the behaviour of others, watching key points in what others do and storing them for further reference, when they may need them. They are good talkers, meaning they can convince people to do what they want and make them think it was their idea in the first place.

Foxes are quick, intelligent and strongly ambitious. Although they are known for their cunning nature, they are very charismatic and easy to love. If your Patronus is a fox, you have an ability to think outside of the box and act quickly during emergency situations.

Penny is insanely ambitious about her Potions-making. She said on more than one occasion that she couldn’t pass the opportunity to brew more advanced Potion. She’s also obviously charismatic, and the part I might like the most is about “making others do what they want and even make them think it was their idea”. Because when you really think about it… it’s exactly Penny.

Like, making MC steal the ingredients for the Forgetfulness Potion and very similar situation again with the Draught of Peace (each time not even telling MC what it’s about until the very end). Making MC impersonate a Professor or a Prefect. All those situations could get us in pretty serious trouble. Yet, the best example in all of that is the Animagus TLSQ, in my opinion. 

The quest started with the rumours that Talbott is planning to become an Animagus, and so MC got intrigued and decided to help Talbott get ingredients, hoping that Penny could make an extra Potion for them. But then, it turned out that Penny doesn’t make the Potion for Talbott at all, and she wanted MC to take it instead. Moreover, Talbott was already an Animagus, so the whole story didn’t really make much sense from the very beginning. Now, it might be the case of Jam City screwing up badly in writing, but it doesn’t change the fact that this is basically what happened: Penny wanted to brew the Animagus Potion, so she sent Talbott to get MC intrigued in the whole thing, so MC thought it was their idea while Penny could brew her Potion. Now, tell me she’s not a Fox – especially that again it could’ve been pretty dangerous for MC if anything went wrong.

There’s also a part about thinking outside of the box and acting quickly during the emergency, and funnily enough, it’s also kind of true for Penny. The thing is that she doesn’t act well in those situations – but that’s a separate problem.

Also, I don’t know if you can tell it by now, but I totally believe that Penny should’ve been a Slytherin, and I will die on that hill. Just a digression.

Merula

Hm, how about a Mole? Or a Rat? :D Just kidding, of course. Mostly…

Seriously though, I had a bit of a problem with Merula. I thought of a Skunk or a Frilled-neck lizard at first, y’know, because they try to look more threatening as a self-defence mechanism. I considered a Yorkshire Terrier as well because they’re always yapping at bigger dogs. And while they kind of fit Merula, they’re definitely not perfect matches. Merula has no dog qualities whatsoever, and even though her aggression is probably caused by a lot of insecurities, skunks and frilled-neck lizards don’t really harm whatever threatens them. Merula does harm, whether physically or emotionally, and she’s pretty calculated in that.

So, I kept thinking about something else, and there was one option I was coming back to. And even though I didn’t fully like it at first, I think I’ll stick to it, and I’ll say that Merula would have a Black Mamba Patronus.

Here’s some information about Black Mambas:

Cloaked in the color of death and measuring over 14 feet in length, the Black Mamba is regarded as one of the most vicious snakes in the world. It’s also one of the most venomous. (…) Unlike many animals, which simply have an anger problem, Black Mambas are driven by an extreme form of fear-based aggression. Being exceedingly nervous, the slightest sense that the snake’s escape route is compromised may unleash an attack of unparalleled ferocity.

There’s also an interesting quote from the discussion on whether or not they chase humans:

No, they absolutely don’t chase humans. No snakes chase humans. However black mambas are so high-strung they’re practically hysterical the moment something makes them nervous, and they’re really not very intelligent. As a result, these snakes are extremely prone to absolute panic. If you corner a mamba, its fight/flight reflex is triggered, and it will freak out and try to fight you to escape. This involves wildly throwing itself around and biting you like 60 times in a row, if you don’t get the blazes out of the way. (…) And they’re not very good at evaluating the level of danger they’re in. Or… much of anything.

… and that’s basically Merula. She’s in a constant state of panic that people are better than her. Especially in earlier years, she constantly felt threatened by MC’s mere existence, even when MC was clear they just don’t care about her – so she was attacking. All. The. Freaking. Time.

Moreover, snakes in general are often associated with deceit, so there’s that.

Of course, there’s also much more positive symbolism around snakes, like a rebirth, transformation, or heling. And while I have no doubts that Jam City won’t give Merula a proper redemption arc (because they're too lazy about it), she clearly is a character who’s supposed to be all about redemption. So, I guess that’s another reason why a Black Mamba would fit nicely, even though it seems a bit stereotypical for a Slytherin (then again, Merula totally should’ve been a Gryffindor, but that’s a topic for a different discussion).

[skylarmoon71]

E2 Harrison Wells x Reader- Oneshot (Extra)

"Does it fit?" Harry shakes his head, removing the screw.

"I might have miscalculated the size."

"Wow, you made a mistake. That's impossible."

"Very funny (Y/N)." you just smile, and Harry removes his glasses, heading to get some other screw for the newest of his little gadgets. During the weeks after that little party at Iris's house, you and Harry seem to have gotten closer. Maybe it was the way you could relate. 

You both shared a similar experience. You understood each other. That mutual understanding grew into respect. Now you can't get enough of the grumpy overconfident Harry Wells. Cisco was on a little snack break. You were off your shift, so you thought why not swing by STAR Labs. Now it was just you and Harry, so you settled for helping him with his little experiments.

Taking a seat, you stare at the cup of water on his desk. Harry might be a while, so why not keep yourself entertained. Twiddling your fingers, you watch the water swirl around, rising out of the cup. You make small circles with your index finger, enjoying the patterns it created.

"Having fun." you nearly drop the water, but you catch yourself at the last second, glaring at Harry. 

"I almost caused a short to all these computers." you gesture to the screens right next to you. Harry looks a bit proud that he caught you off guard and you drop the water back into the cup. He takes a seat, but he doesn't return to work, he's looking at you.

"Harry, I hope you're not getting any ideas. I'm not gonna go through some weird experiment." As a scientist you know he can't help but want to test each and every thing. Cisco made you run through so many unnecessary trials when you first discovered your abilities. Some that probably were just for his curiosity.

"I've never had the opportunity to witness you use those abilities up close. We're always facing some kind of danger. "

He's right. When weren't you fighting some crazy meta.

"You can manipulate the water ratio in the body as well." This is the first time he's really taken interest. "Well yeah. Our body's about 60 percent but I guess you already knew that."

"Naturally." you just roll your eyes with a smile.

"Can you show me?" your brows knit.

"Harry, my powers don't work like Barry's. People can get hurt when I.." 

Truth of the matter is you tried to avoid using your powers after you'd almost murdered Calvin's killer. The fear of losing control and offing someone was constantly at the back of your mind.

"I know you." You can see it on his face, he displays nothing but absolute trust. At what point did you become weak to Harry?

"Show me?" He tries again. You don't agree at once, because you're still a little weary. But he trusts you, so what do you really have to fear?

"Okay." you lift your hand, and it's shaking a little. You close your hand to keep it steady. Harry waits patiently for whatever you're about to do. "Can you turn your hand over?" Harry obeys your request, turning his hand over on his lap. Your palm hovers right over it, and he marvels at the fact that his hand lifts on it's own.

He isn't moving a single muscle to assist. Your eyes are intensely concentrated, and he supposes it's the reason he feels nothing but a twitch in his hand. It rises all the way to yours like a puppet on a string, and now your hands are pointed upwards, fingers spread apart. They touch, and Harry's eyes connect with yours. 

"Astonishing." with a shy smile, you take a breath before you stop the action. Harry can no longer feel the pressure aiding him, and he guesses he should move his hand now, but he really doesn't want to.

"I hope it didn't hurt, I was trying my best to deter the pull. With villains I don't have a problem adding force. I'm not really used to applying it under non threatening circumstances."

"I think you've mastered both areas. I didn't feel a thing." you sigh in relief. 

"That's good, I was really worried I'd hurt you."

"Rest assured then, I came out unscathed." He sends you a gentle smile, and it's then you realize your hands are still touching. You're about to pull away, but Harry links your fingers. Those digits slip between yours, causing your heart to stagger.

"H-Harry.."

"It's amazing isn't it, how much you can read from physical contact. How well it conveys what we feel." He places his free hand on the handle of your chair, wheeling you closer. Your breath hitches. Harry really was sneaky. He hasn't released your hand yet, and now your knees brush. You swallow as his eyes seem to penetrate your soul.

He raises his hand, touching your cheek. There's a strong urge to lean into his touch, to fall into this abyss. Harry inches closer, gaze darting between your eyes and your lips. He's just a hairline away. Your eyelids lower and just as you feel the mingling of your breaths, you're smacked back into reality. Pulling back quickly, you scramble to your feet. You're shuffling frantically, eyes beginning to water.

"H-Harry I-I can't I-I need to.." you sob, and Harry rushes to his feet, holding you in his arms. He knows why you're so rattled. Closing your eyes you cry softly. 

"I-I'm so sorry Harry.."

"Shh shh, you have nothing to apologize for. I was acting on my own impulses." It's been years to slowly move on. It's only been a year for you, and you're still finding your way through it all.

"You won't lose me (Y/N)."

He knows, and understands. You're terrified to put yourself out there because you're afraid that if you do, that love will be ripped from you again. Your hold tightens on his body, and he runs his arms over your back, trying to calm you. Rocking side to side, he hums a soft tone, and you can feel the tension leaving your body. Your cries die out slowly, but he doesn't let go. You need this, and so does he. 

He waits until you're ready. When He feels you pulling back slowly, he loosens his hold. "Are you alright?" you nod, and Harry wipes the remnants of tears from your eyes. You appreciate the gesture.

 "I'm sorry I pushed you, I more than anyone should be understanding of your situation. "

"It's okay Harry." You'd never blame him for such a thing, or be angry. For you, there's been a spark for a while now. Between your lectures when he goes at it with Cisco, or just your daily bickers when Harry feels the need to prove his intelligence on a case. "It's not that I'm not attracted to you Harry."

"I would hope not, I'm very attractive." he grins, and you smack his shoulder. "I'm trying to be serious here you jerk." you can't help but laugh, and Harry loves it. He much prefers this sound.

"I get it, you need time to heal. There's no shame in admitting you're still in pain (Y/N). Something like that, love like that, it doesn't vanish overnight.

 "This is one of the reasons that you've fallen for the dark haired scientist. As intolerable as he can be at times, at his core, he's understanding, loyal and caring. "I'll give you space to-'

"No!" He's alarmed at the yell. You step closer, and Harry can't stop his eyes from straying to your lips. Swallowing, he waits for some type of explanation.

"You're right, it has been hard. A part of me will never stop loving Calvin. I know that. But I think I'm..I think I'm starting to move on. I don't want space Harry..not from you.''

"(Y/N), you don't have to-"

"I know." This isn't some obligation you feel you have to fulfill. And earlier, your reaction wasn't a rejection, it was just a call to reality. There's a man standing right in front of you, ready to love you, and it scares you, but it also warms your heart. "We can take it slow (Y/N), there's no rush to feel pressure into it. "

Harry is the cutest. He really doesn't want to jeopardize anything. You're the one who makes the first move this time. Your thumb slides over his lower lip, and you've finally managed to get him to stop rambling. Leaning unto your tiptoes, you kiss him with all you have. 

You need to let him know you appreciate it all. His friendship, care, sarcasm, strength, trust...love. Harry's hands settle on your waist, and he can longer resist. He pulls you impossibly close. 

There are no restrictions, and he uses that to his advantage. Fingers slipping into your hair, he deepens the kiss, relishing in the little moan that slips from you. The melody urges him to provoke some more out. You open yourself to him, no barriers. There's just you and him.

For the first time in a while, you feel light, and it's all thanks to Harry.

[thusatlas]

20

I have been wondering how to answer this for a few days now. For reference, the post and the subsequent question (feel free to ask for more):

Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

The obvious one story to go to is the Crownless. But I've been scratching my head on how to answer this without giving any spoilers because most of the stuff that I'm like 'aljnglajbgklrbgl' about, has been planted, but has not yet come to fruition.

So, I'm going to say that there will be spoilers in this post up to Chapter 20 if you have not caught up yet, and the rest is going to be a massive tease for what's to come.

(Which I think is rather fitting as we enter the last few chapters of part 1.)

Continue past this point at your own peril.

Hidden References

There are loads. I was brought up as a gamer, finding Easter Eggs is my crack. I'd love to go on about how, with the theme of wanting to fully embed the world in magical realism, I have incorporated a number of Easter Eggs from real life to enrich the text in a meta way - but that just simply isn't true.

I'm just a fiend who has a lot of fun with the freedom of fanfiction.

The most obvious one that near enough everyone who has commented has picked up on, is the Pirates of the Caribbean reference in Lucius' chapter.

My favourite Easter Egg of them all is that I have actually given away Raine's true identity and further hinted and the lore that goes with that identity. It's buried within the text, hidden in plain sight, which is in keeping with the theme of the story.

There's a fair few references to the Grimm Brother's, especially where the Black Forrest is concerned.

The narration style of 'describing the wallpaper' is a homage to Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, who have greatly influenced the humour and style of this entire fic. In particular here, the items that Hermione carries on her person is a direct callback to 'Hitch Hiker's Guide to Galaxy'.

There's a reference to Deborah Harkness' 'All Saints Trilogy' (highly recommend these books). I read these and fell down the alchemical rabbit hole that led me to the Voynich.

There are all sorts of popular culture references, from Marvel to Jane Austin hidden within the text, simply because they were on my mind as I wrote them and it brought me great joy to have the freedom to write them.

Not everything is serious. However, I am seriously considering going through and making an Easter Egg masterlist, and anyone who can name them all will get a cookie.

Characters, relationships and hidden foreshadowing (because I love spinning webs)

There are loads, every character has an arc, whether it be big or small. Someone once commented that they weren't sure whether some details was a red-herring and what was real, while another commented that every detail given is a clue.

Both are right, unfortunately - all details mean something but whether they're there for worldbuilding or character development is only something that can be seen when the point comes to light.

The two characters who show this the best are Theo and Raine.

With Theo, we start with this roguish, glib, charming character, who's a touch flamboyant but generally a smooth white-collar criminal.

With Raine, we start with a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde character - Dr Jekyll being quirky, weird and unassuming. In the beginning, we only see brief touches of Mr Hyde - the serious, cold and calculating General. The overall effect is a character that I am pleased to see no one trusts.

But the clues are in the names. They always have been, they always will be.

Just the same way that Fear was a foreshadowing from chapter 1...

For Theo, the reader has had some indication of his character arc since Chapter 2. This was re-affirmed in Chapter 13 and again recently in Chapter 20. Theo is closely tied to my favourite Easter Egg, whose name ties into this whole thing, and further builds upon Harry's canon identity, as we see in Deathly Hallows. I shan't say more, because spoilers. But you will find out soon.

For Raine, it's trickier. Again, it's all in the names, and as I've stated, I dropped that Easter Egg a while ago. But then the reader is told that 'Raine Willows' is infact a careless name, thought up in the spur of a moment. A name is an identity, ergo, what sort of Being cares little about that? Further to this, his journey is closely tied with Hermione's - always has been. The more Hermione has fallen down the rabbit hole, the more Raine has moved away from Dr Jekyll and become Mr Hyde.

The crux of their arcs is closely tied to the heart of the story. For Raine, he is Hermione's mentor. The other characters - Draco included - move around Hermione. She is the constant.

Much the same as the central plot. No matter how many side plots or whatever there are, it's all a helix towards the same focus point.

Part 2

It is my hope, that by the time we begin part 2, all the pieces will be lined up, ready to go. The Fuckening is one really really long introduction, setting the scene and laying the foundation. In order for the plot to exist and for our characters to go on the journeys that they will in part 2, everything has to break.

The allegory

Don't mind me whilst I put on my pretentious hat and dust off my critical thinking robes.

There is a fuck tonne of symbolism, sometimes in the staging of a scene, sometimes in the character's behaviour - Narcissa and Draco chapter 20, the character development of a Messiah.

But by now, if you've been following me or have spoken to me for more than 5 minutes, inevitably 'worldviews' would have cropped up. I sincerely apologise, I am aware that I am a broken record.

I started this fic in a really uncertain time in the world. As a STEM social science researcher, it's my job to look at the big picture and at the time (and still relevant to me now) the question was, wtf is going on?

So for me, along with it being a conversation about the psychology of love and friendship in a deterministic world, I wanted to highlight the importance of belief systems. I wanted to show from a psychological perspective how civilisation is built upon a very fragile network of beliefs both individual and collective, and the agreed-upon social norms only continue to exist, because we as a collective continue to perpetuate them.

I wanted to show how easily those belief systems can break which is why we begin with the disappearance of a horse and a somewhat intelligent cat. And the only way I could do that was to base canon in magical realism. A norm so adjacent to the ones we accept today, is one that will fracture everything so thoroughly and so quickly, that I won't have to write a tome to get my point across.

The Crownless is a story told from multiple perspectives, seeing and living the same long and winding conspiracy. And in worldbuilding, I have tried to show perspectives of different stakeholders, how politics is again, a delicate promise spun from beliefs. The Crownless is not meant to be a serious piece of literature, but it's my way of showing the hypocrisy of claiming Absolute Good and Evil in any situation.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms Far Side #3: Kohaku

Today on Fate and Phantasms we have another bonus episode for you! We’re building Kohaku, the ever-energetic maid who comes packing with probably helpful medicine and the occasional robot. As usual for far sides, everything below this point come directly from Magical-Biche on Reddit!

Check out Kohaku’s build breakdown below, or her character sheet over here!

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Hey, it’s me, the guy who builds Tsukihime builds! Since the remake got announced uhh… already a month ago, I figured it’d be perfect time to free some time in my heavy schedule for a Tsukihime waifu once in a while. For the return of this highly anticipated series, we’ll take a look at a character which has plenty of tricks up her sleeves: Kohaku. A fan favorite for several reasons, she was quite easy to build due to how weirdly some of her core mechanics are already featured in Dungeons & Dragons. I’m mostly using her Melty Blood skill set for the build, but as soon as I can introduce skills we know from the Visual Novels. Needless to say, the whole build is a huge spoiler for what Kohaku does throughout the games, and you may not want to read it if you didn’t finish Tsukihime and Kagetsu Tohya.

Race and Background

Kohaku is a variant human. She technically has a bit of psychic powers, but they are passive and absolutely nothing any race can give comes close to it, so we’re going human here. The variant allows us to get + 1 in constitution and +1 in intelligence, and the chef feat, giving us another +1 in constitution, and the ability to cook delicious meals with or without suspicious substances, which adds a layer of healing and temporary hit points on our already impressive healing abilities. It gives us our first of many tool proficiencies, the cooking utensils. We also get a proficiency in insight, which helps us determine whether people are worth teasing/throwing into a bottomless trap. 

Next, we are going to be an Izzet engineer. Those folk, who come directly from Ravnica, fit our mad scientist personality perfectly. Being an Izzet engineer gives us access to the Urban Infrastructure ability, which helps building more complex traps (and find them, if we ever feel like being nice to our group), and proficiencies in Arcana and Investigation, two extremely useful intelligence skills. We also get our second tool proficiency. We’re taking carpenter’s tools, to create the most intricate traps there are. Bottomless pits won’t build themselves from the ground up. We also get one set of artisan’s tools of our choice, so we’ll take Alchemist supplies, since they’re the costliest of the bunch and extremely useful. Don’t worry, we’re getting the proficiency in a little bit. Finally, we get the pretty unique feature of having access to more spells: Izzet guild spells. The notable ones (the ones we don’t normally get from our class) are Chaos bolt, Create or destroy water, Unseen servant (level 1 spells), and Call lightning, and Otiluke’s resilient sphere (third level spells). Since it is a Ravnica background, the DM might ban the expanded spell list, but none of these spells are necessary to our build, anyway. 

Ability Scores

We are a genius, and a bit of a melee combatant. We’re pumping everything in intelligence. Next, we need high constitution and dexterity, which will also serve to multiclass into rogue. We are pretty average when it comes to wisdom and charisma (I do admit we are pretty cute, though). We’re dumping strength, even though it means we won’t be able to fight well with our broom, but it’s a necessary sacrifice. Our hidden katana (read: dagger) will work just as well. 

Class Levels

Artificer 1: We are a crafty inventor. Being an artificer only makes sense to us. The first level of artificer gives us proficiency with constitution saving throws, great to keep our concentration on spells and avoiding nasty poison effect, and intelligence saving throws: we’re the one who make fools of others, and not the other way around! We can also choose two new proficiencies, and we’re taking medicine, since we’re actually a pretty skilled doctor, and sleight of hand, as we will need to tinker complex traps and unlock a few locks from time to time. 

We also get proficiencies with light and medium armors, but we’re only ever going to use light armor. Kohaku doesn’t really wear armor, but she could be wearing several thick layers of kimono, which can probably stop a blade in a pinch. We’re also proficient with shields, and Kohaku definitely never wears a shield throughout the Tsukihime timeline, so we won’t be using them.  We’re also proficient with simple weapons, and those are the only weapons we’re having access to, so we have to do with them. We’ll be mainly using the dagger as our “secret blade”, and our quarterstaff as a substitute for our broom. Finally, we’re proficient with thieves’ tools, useful for disarming traps that may or may not have been installed by us, tinker’s tools, our bread-and-butter for repairing all sort of stuff, from traps to weapons, and alchemist supplies, to further our healing capabilities, and it blends well with our medicine proficiency. 

We finally get to our core features. First level of artificer gives us Magical tinkering, which lets us do pretty nice things. We can basically sleep on prestidigitation, light, message, and minor illusion thanks to this feature. It doesn’t do as much as each of these individual spells, but it does it differently, and it’s still great to have so much utility here. We also get our Spellcasting. We’re a half caster with druid/cleric like spell preparation. We can prepare a number of spells equal to our intelligence modifier + half our artificer level (rounded down), and we can choose those spells from our spell list each time we finish a long rest. Our spellcasting ability is of course intelligence, and we use our alchemist’s supplies as a spellcasting focus, because of our subclass we don’t have yet. 

We start with two artificer cantrips, and we’re taking Booming blade, to emulate bombs, and controlling people movement fits our character well: people will think twice before moving in our direction. Next, we take Acid splash, a pretty weak damaging cantrip, but it’s another kind of bomb we can add to our arsenal. It can also touch two targets at once, which mitigate the low damage of the spell. It is also a saving throw, so it will always be useful anyway. 

Since we have access to every artificer spell, plus the potential Izzet spells, there won’t be a definitive spell list here. It is recommended to get Tasha’s caustic brew, Snare, Cure wounds, Grease and Alarm, as they fit our game plan very well. 

Artificer 2: Our next artificer level is more complex than it seems. We get our infusions, 4 of them. We’re taking the Replicate magic item, to have ourselves a bag of holding to hold all our stuff, the Enhanced defense, that we’re infusing to our armor to help with defense, the Homunculus servant, so we can have our very own Not-exactly-a-mech-Hisui once we get enough money, and Mind sharpener, which will help maintaining concentration on though fight. So far, we can only use 2 of these infusions at the time, so we’ll focus on the replicate magic item and enhanced defense for now. 

Artificer 3: We get our speciality! We are now an Alchemist. We gain proficiency with Glassblower’s tools, as we already have a proficiency with the alchemist supplies, and those tools can be used to create vials to hold our various mixtures. We get an expanded spell list, again, which gives us interesting spells like Melf’s acid arrow, Healing word, Ray of sickness, Gaseous form and Mass healing word. Flaming sphere is not bad, but it doesn’t really fit our concept as a whole. We also get our Experimental elixir, which is one random potion every long rest. All the effects are helpful, even though some are more than others. We also get the Right tool for the job, which lets us create artisan tools, which is neat. 

Rogue 1: Of course, we’re going rogue. We’re a sneaky trickster, after all, and we’re pretty skilled at it. Our first rogue level gives us the famous Thieves cant, which we will quickly forget. More interesting, we get a skill proficiency, and we’re taking Deception. It’s less useful than persuasion, but we need to lie more than we need to persuade. We also get Expertise in 2 skills of our choice, which will be Deception and Medicine, two of our most important skills. With expertise in medicine, we mitigate our low wisdom, and we’re able to pretty much always stabilize our fallen allies, especially when we get past level 5. What’s more, we get the rogue’s main feature, the Sneak attack! Sneak attack can be used with booming blade for pretty huge damage, in the right conditions, and it’s getting even better starting next level. 

Rogue 2: Speaking of next level, here it is. The second rogue level gives us cunning action, and we now always have some use for our bonus action. We can hit with booming blade + Sneak attack, then retreat. We can add some movement to our turn, and we can try to hide in the shadows, not that we’re particularly good at it. 

Rogue 3: We get our second archetype. We’re now both an alchemist and a Mastermind, which gives us yet another round of proficiencies: Disguise kit, Forgery kit and a Gaming set. Those three are not the most useful tools we have access to, but they can always be used creatively. We can also Mimic speech, but that’s not exactly a meta redefining feature. More importantly, we are also a Master of tactics, giving us yet another use for our bonus action in the form of Help. We can help our ranged allies to hit close-ish targets with that feature, too. 

Artificer 4: Our first ability score increase comes at level 7, and luckily, we’re not too dependent on feats. We’re simply increasing our intelligence by 2 and call it a day. 

Artificer 5: This level is very interesting, because we get a neat little feature that tremendously increases our distance damage. We are now an Alchemical savant, and provided that we use our alchemist supplies as a spellcasting focus, we can add our intelligence modifier to the damage rolls of any fire, necrotic, poison and acid damage, and to every one of our healing rolls. Sadly, this doesn’t buff our melee damage, but we can’t have everything. Also, the ability is weirdly worded: as it is written in the book, it looks like you must use your spellcasting focus to cast the spell for the damage and healing to be buffed. However, if it does work like that, we'd have a total of 5 spells of level 0-3 that are affected by the feature, so I’d say it works with every one of your spells that is cast with intelligence. 

We also get our new level 2 spells. The ones that are interesting for our build are Enlarge/reduce, Heat metal, protection from poison, pyrotechnics, rope trick, Spider climb and Web. The first is based on one of our actual feats of enlarging our mistress, one time. Heat metal is an overall tricky and useful spell to have. Protection from poison is useful to protect our allies from friendly fire, and the last 4 spells are all great traps and terrain manipulation, which is what we want to do. 

Artificer 6: This level is more straightforward, as it only really adds the Tool expertise feature, which allows us to double our proficiency bonus on all tools we’re proficient with. That is, a LOT of tools. We also get new infusions, and we’re getting the Spell refueling ring, a great tool to mitigate our too few spell slots per day, and Resistant armor, which is situational but very useful. We can also have 3 infusions active at the time, which is the maximum number of attunement we can have anyway. We can also now create two experimental elixirs per long rest, hurray!

Artificer 7: The seventh artificer level gives us Flashes of genius, which is a great tool to help the party. It can also be used to mitigate our own AOE damage on them, proving the party that we’re not here to kill them, we swear!

Artificer 8: Artificer 8 gets us a simple ability score increase, which we gladly take to increase our already high intelligence to new levels. We increase it by 2 points, to reach a total of 20. 

Artificer 9: Our final level in artificer grants us a final subclass feature, the Restorative reagents. It makes it that our experimental elixir gives 2d6 + 5 temporary hit points to whoever drinks it. Also, we can now cast lesser restoration 5 times per long rest without having the spell prepared, which is a great way to remove harmful status ailments from allies for pretty much free. 

We also gain our level 3 spells. The interesting spells from the list are Haste, which emulates the drugs you use on your poor party members,  Catnap, to represent the sleeping medicine you give them,  Protection from energy, for the same reason as protection from poison a bit earlier, and finally, the trappiest spell of them all, the one that really let us do crazy shenanigans,  Glyph of warding. This amazing spell is a literal modular trap which does pretty nice damage, doesn’t require concentration and it’s just so flexible. This is the only obligatory spell on the list. 

Rogue 4: The fourth rogue level gives us our third ability score increase, and we’re getting a bit tankier and stabbier now. We increase our dexterity score by 2, this time, putting us at a nice 16. 

Rogue 5: Fifth level rogues get uncanny dodge, a very powerful tool for survival. Nothing much to say, it’s great! (Editor’s note: might as well just say it anyway- use your reaction to take half damage from an attack- very useful!)

Rogue 6: We get 2 brand new expertises, which will be in Arcana, for being even better at understanding the mechanics behind the spells we use, and Sleight of hand, so we’re also a lot better at setting non-magical traps and disarming them. 

Rogue 7: Now that we can mitigate damage with uncanny dodge, it’s time to get better at saving throws and get Evasion. Another extremely good ability we’ll never use too much. (EN: dex saves cause half damage on failure, 0 damage on success!)

Rogue 8: Our next ability score, and we’re getting yet another 2 points in dexterity, so we now have a more than decent armor class and solid melee attacks. 

Rogue 9: Rogue’s ninth level gives us our second subclass ability, and we are now an Insightful manipulator. We can now assess our current target’s strength, but at this point, we’ve probably fought most of the bestiary and know everything there is to know about most threats. It can still be used against bosses, but it’s not exactly great since we’re not that good at sneaking. 

Rogue 10: Our tenth level in the rogue class gives us yet another ability score increase. We are actually a pretty crafty person, and poison is just another tool in our arsenal. We get the Poisoner feat, which lets us ignore resistance to poison damage and craft poison for our weapons. At that point, we should be filthy rich and can certainly afford the cost to do so and poison basically every single one of our strikes. With Booming Blade, sneak attack and the poison damage, our damage output is actually pretty crazy. 

Rogue 11: Our final level gives us a very, very nice little boost: thanks to Reliable Talent, we basically can’t score under 16 + ability modifier, or 22 + ability modifier with expertise, for skills and tools we are proficient with. We now have a passive Arcana of 27, Sleight of hand of 26 (whatever a passive sleight of hand score means), Deception and Medicine of 22, a passive investigation and insight of 21 and passive abilities with our numerous tools that are just as high (since you can use most tools with most abilities, the scores won’t be listed here, obviously). We can now pretty much recognize spells on sight, pickpocket on the go, lie as we breathe and treat injuries in a few moments, among other things. 

Pros: We’re a tool monkey, and we use all of them like a pro when we reach level 20. We can craft a bunch of crazy stuff with all that. We’re also quite bulky, with decent hit dice and the rogue survivability, plus our artificer infusions. We are also good at dealing big bursts of damage thanks to booming blade, sneak attack and poisoner. What’s more, we’re quite good at healing and dispensing temporary hit points. 

Cons: If we can’t trigger our sneak attack, our booming blade damage is not exactly huge. We don’t have many spells slots, and we quite like to use them. Also, we’re good at dealing damage, healing and controlling the battlefield, but we’re obviously not great at any of these things. 

[therealvinelle]

Hello! Why do you think Carlisle likes Aro? (Love your meta btw!)

This blog lasted 25 days before becoming an Aro/Carlisle blog. The sanity was nice while it lasted, I suppose.

Oh well, I embrace my trash ship.

(Anon is referring to this post)

(This one is also relevant)

So, while on Aro’s end it was a case of “did the gods just give me my very own Enkidu?”, for Carlisle we must look at the circumstances. The Carlisle Cullen who walked into Volterra is not the Carlisle Cullen who works at Forks General.

Carlisle was a demon-hunting priest who brought his religion into his new life. Having no idea what he’d just become, apart from the obvious things like “I desperately want to kill people for their blood” and “I sparkle?!”, many of the things that are obvious to us would not be at all obvious to him. His only experience with other demons was the slum-dweller that killed him. It was brutal, and three other people from his parish were murdered as well. He’d been able to track the vampire down, something I can only take that to mean that the vampire used his parish for hunting grounds. He’s so horrified by what he’s become that he tries to destroy himself. This fails, and instead he finds a way out that lets him live without having to kill, and with that comes to the realization that vampires retain their souls (which is for another post).

My point being, Carlisle wakes up as a demon, and has no way of knowing how any of this works, nor of how to explain the fact that he is able to retain his soul. It’s telling that even after centuries of being a vampire he still thought something might be fundamentally different about him, as he chose to turn Edward by simulating his own transformation, even though it meant more pain for Edward. In other words, Carlisle was not guaranteed that his experience was universal. By the time we meet him in canon he’s wonderfully friendly to everybody regardless of what they eat, but I strongly doubt he got from point “Demons are monsters and I’ll rally a mob to lynch them!” to “Vampires are people who sadly eat other people.” right away.

So, you have freshly immortal Carlisle Cullen wandering around Europe with no way of knowing that other vampires are as (for lack of a better word) human as he is. How can they be, when they choose to eat people? (My personal headcanon is that he went by a Persephone theory, and figured that by resisting human blood he’d remained a man.)

It was this Carlisle who met Aro and the other Volturi. According to Edward (I unfortunately don’t have Twilight with me so I can’t quote his exact words), they were the ones who showed him that vampires can in fact be sophisticated.

Sophisticated. Not just as in Aro, Marcus, and Caius eat their virgins with some fava beans and a nice chianti, but as in they’re civilized and intelligent beings. Carlisle was no longer a one lone freak who somehow retained his soul while everyone else went full Buffy vampire, or any other such theory. I can’t even imagine the impact that must have had on a young Carlisle who would have been even lonelier than the Carlisle who found Edward in Chicago. That Carlisle at least had friends, this younger version had absolutely nobody.

Aro changed that.

More than being sophisticated, Aro turned out to be a kindred spirit, an absolutely brilliant mind and a generous host. Carlisle chose to live with him for decades, leaving only because of their dietary differences. And even if people disagree with me with all of the above, I don’t think anyone can argue that this one isn’t huge.

Of all the people Carlisle knows in canon, Aro is the only one he stayed with just for Aro’s own sake. Carlisle loves the Cullens dearly, but the cornerstone holding them together is their shared diet, and the fact that Carlisle turned four of them, the other two joined. He did not happen upon them and then like them so much that he decided to move in. As for his other friends, he cares for them all, but he didn’t share decades of his life with them.

Regardless of how we’re interpreting their relationship (as in, platonic, UST, or raging homosexual affair), I don’t think anyone can dispute that Carlisle and Aro are each other’s best friends.

But beyond proving that vampires aren’t all sewer-dwelling, priest-eating rascals, what exactly made Aro so special?

I’ll just list his qualities in no particular order.

Sophistication This guy is a lover of the arts and of knowledge. His gallery and library must have been the most extensive and diverse in the world, and it probably still is. I can’t even begin to imagine the wealth of knowledge and treasures that Aro must have collected over the years. If the Holy Grail exists within the world of Twilight, Aro has it. Where I’m headed with this, is that not only would Aro’s collection be the coolest thing ever to Carlisle, but also that this was a time when the number of books and an art collection was a sign of high class, of intellectualism, of all things fine and noble that was considered virtuous. Aro acts very much like wealthy European nobility, he even lives in Italy, the cultural epicenter of the Western world of old. He physically could not have been more impressive to Carlisle.

Kind of a continuation of the previous point: Aro is from Ancient Greece (well, he’s Myceanaean, but same difference to a “You predate Homer?!” starstruck Carlisle). Ancient Greece was the ultimate, perfect, civilization to Europe, and Carlisle got to Volterra just ahead of the Enlightenment. This alone would have made him so unbelievably cool to Carlisle.

Nerd I think this one speaks for itself. Carlisle is an unbelievable nerd, an inquisitive mind who’ll study anything and everything, and in Aro he found someone who also has an inquisitive mind and will study anything and everything. They’re both very intelligent. Carlisle went from being that sad whale that sings on a frequency no other whales can hear, to having someone who just got it.

His gift So you’re all gonna have to stay with me on this one. Aro’s gift is one most people would find very invasive, which as I touched upon in one of the posts linked above must be very isolating. And yet we know from canon that Carlisle has no problem at all with Edward reading his mind all the time, and more, if Aro reading his mind was a problem then Aro and Marcus would both have known, and I doubt their friendship would have worked out. So, I think that Carlisle not only didn’t mind having his every thought read, but that this was an actively good thing. Because what is less lonely than the company of one who knows you as intimately as you know yourself? To be friends with Aro is to be truly understood, known more deeply than anyone else can ever know you. And to someone who seeks companionship as much as Carlisle does, I imagine this is an extremely attractive feature.

Offer of friendship Carlisle would have been hopelessly lonely when he met Aro. And as no one else is mentioned as being close to him, Jane hadn’t even met him which I find pretty telling of how he interacted (or didn’t interact) with the Guard, and he wouldn’t yet have any of his other friends that he later made, he only had Aro.

He enforcers a law that keeps the known world from descending into chaos Human civilization wouldn’t last a day without the Volturi. There would be nothing stopping vampires from taking out entire villages in one go, immortal children would be everywhere, and the newborn armies would spread like wildfire. In the world of Twilight, the Volturi are a necessary evil. And Aro is their leader. The fact that he not only keeps the world together, an ungrateful task with no end in sight, but had the idea to create a law in the first place would make him all the more amazing to Carlisle.

And I’m sure there’s more that is currently slipping my mind.

Just, Aro is on every level the most impressive, awe-inspiring, and dare I say dazzling, that anyone can be to Carlisle. And he came into Carlisle’s life at the best possible moment. If he’d agreed to do the animal diet, Carlisle would have stayed. If he wanted to seduce Carlisle, I think he’d succeed. I also think that their time together was far more formative for the person Carlisle became than anyone gives Aro credit for.

(And if Carlisle had never found anyone who’d share the diet, he would eventually have returned. I imagine Aro thought the same, but that’s for another post.)

Oh, and last bit - in Breaking Dawn we get this beautiful moment where Carlisle learns that Aro robbed the British royal family, and he just goes, “yup, that’s my guy”. Even after Eclipse, he remains fond of Aro. I mean, there’s also the fact that he’s been lugging around this giant painting for centuries, even at a time when he didn’t have a house and I can only speculate as to where he was keeping it.

Of course, over the course of Eclipse and Breaking Dawn everything goes to hell, but that’s for another post.

TL;DR, Carlisle went from a priest’s son to living with an evil vampire overlord for decades because he’s just that great, in the present he keeps a giant painting of him in his office. I feel it’s safe to assume he likes the man.

(Edited on the 13th of April to fix some phrasing and add a link)